#i might write a part 2

[erenthology]

a/n: nothing wrong with acne, this is self indulgent. The Eren brain rot has been taking over ever since watching the finale. Not proof read obs

Academic rival Eren who’s always made your life a living hell. while secretly obsessed with you.

Rival!Eren who flirts idly and is the most contusing person. you can never tell if he’s being serious or not.

Rival!Eren who stops you on your way out of school. “move, asshole.” of course, the life sized giant doesn’t. “did you not hear me? I called you an asshole.”

“Have dinner with me” he grins. what is wrong with him? you think. not liking the way your heart is beating 10 times faster

Rival!Eren who smiles watching you run away from him, knowing the tension isn’t one sided, and you do too

Rival!Eren who first laid eyes on you in pre school, crying because some kid had stolen your strawberry shortcake. you were both kids. Eren angrily pushed his cake on your plate, blushing when your tear streaked face thanked him

Rival!Eren who then made sure to make that guy’s life hell for the rest of the school year. You really loved your strawberry shortcake, the memory makes him laugh

Rival!Eren who slowly noticed you’re the only one keeping up with him in class. He still remembers the day you told him you’ll surpass him

Rival!Eren who then became your rival, who told the kids you had germs just so they wouldn’t take you from him and

Rival!Eren who loved you through all of your phases, and found you just as beautiful that summer you came back from break with your face covered in acne, and hair cut in a bob

Rival!Eren who couldn’t keep up with you in 8th grade because your boobs had grown so big over the summer, it was all he could focus on

Rival!Eren who nearly had a stroke when you got your first boyfriend. He even accidentally smashed the guy’s face in when he heard him talking about you in inappropriate ways

Rival!Eren who was right there to take the blame. He was fine with you hating him for the breakup, as long as you still talked to him, even if it was just to cuss him out.

Rival!Eren who was your first kiss. “If you score more than me on this, Eren, I’ll do whatever you want” you once so confidently said. he pretended to suggest the kiss as a punishment, but still reminisces over the way you both blushed and ran separate ways after the innocent pec

Rival!Eren who got accused of having a crush on you by the boys, and got so mad at the way you denied it, he started taking girls out on the dates just to get back at you

Rival!Eren who watched you slip away from him but nevertheless kept his eyes on you over the years. made sure no one was bothering you beside him

Rival!Eren knows, you know. whether you like to admit or not, you’re his. you have been since that day. he’s always been behind you, and you’ll always expect him to be

Rival!Eren who, even in collage, loves to compete with you. thrives over the fact that he has been opponent since you were both kids, and no one else

Rival!Eren who thinks you look so freaking sexy every time you score higher than him and gloat. your ego is through the roof and he loves it

Rival!Eren who also loves it when you crumble before his eyes as he exceeds you in certain subjects

Rival!Eren who goes out of his way to catch your attention. Pulling your hair in class, kicking your feet under the desk, anything, really.

Rival!Eren who touches girls, kisses them in the hallway right when you walk by just to look you in the eye and grin

“You disgust me” you mouth to him.

You’ve definitely heard rumors from girls gossiping in the school bathroom. Especially by ashley, who loves going on about the night they spent together. “Eren fucks like a god, he knows his way around a woman’s body.” bla bla bla

Rival!Eren who catches your eye in the school cafeteria. He always looks at you, but this time you really looked at him. He’s fresh out of the shower. must’ve had practice, you think. you really do love when he wraps his hair in a bun like that

Rival!Eren who stares just as intensely back at you, resisting the urge to come over and do the things he wants to. instead, he takes the opportunity to wink at you, chuckling over the way you get up and throw away your remaining food

Rival!Eren who runs after you to catch up, but is reminded of your stubbornness when you ignore his shouts, instead he wraps his hand around you and pulls your entire body towards him

Rival!Eren who leans forward and whispers, only for you to hear, “if you ever look at me like that again, I’ll come over and fuck the shit out of you in front of the whole cafeteria.”

Rival!Eren who pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear and soaks in the way you’re looking it him, trying his best to force his mind of your silken lips before you visibly snap back to reality and push him away

Rival!Eren who’s eyes gleam mischief when he’s paired up with you for a project. “We’re gonna have a lot of fun” he grins, adoring the face you’re giving him

Rival!Eren who gets mad when you cut yourself on paper. “What the hell are you doing?” he says, carefully inspecting your hand

“Just tell me what to do.” he snaps, taking over

That night you both stayed until late in the library, feeling overwhelmed by all the work. there was nothing weird about Eren’s hand finding yours, and yours finding his, as you both rested your heads on the table

Rival!Eren who blames the gentleman in him when you ask why he insists on driving you back home. “you think that lowly of me?”

Rival!Eren who’s ears spike when a guy in the locker room mentions asking you out. He won’t allow it. suddenly feeling eyes on him, he notices he just smashed his first into the locker

“Uh,” needing to be smart about this, he quickly comes up with an excuse, “nah, she’s too easy, i’d get behind Ashley if I were you, trust me,” he winks. Lies. no one is better than you, but you’re his

Rival!Eren who starts insisting on coming over to your place to get the project done. Wanting to see how you live, what color your sheets are, what you wear at home

Rival!Eren who’s eyes almost fall out of its pockets when he sees your bra lying on top of your gym bag. By no means is he unfamiliar with bra’s or the female anatomy. It’s the fact that it’s yours that send his mind into an orbit

Rival!Eren who thinks you’re getting closer, so why the fuck is he seeing you with another man in a coffee shop on a saturday night?

Rival!Eren who carefully waits until Monday where he tells you he needs to talk to you. even seeing your face is making him crazy, he hates it

Rival!Eren who asks if you have a boyfriend and why you haven’t told him. you’re confused by this for two reasons, 1, you don’t have a boyfriend. 2. Why would you tell Eren?

“Tell me the truth” he demands.

How can he say that after running through half the women in your college? “The truth? I hate you, so much. wish you would just leave me alone.” you say despite the lump in your throat

Taken aback, he speaks in an unsure voice, “you hate me?” It looked like it physically hurt him to hear you say it. “Got it.”

Sighing, you realize you might’ve overreacted. despite all your bickering, you’ve never snapped at him like that before, “Eren, wait-“ but he’s already gone

Rival!Eren who starts ignoring you. He still looks, but he doesn’t mess around with you in the joking manner that he used to

Rival!Eren who’s been on your mind a lot since the fight. so much so, that you’re falling behind on school. you decide to keep this distance he created once and for all, no more back and forth

Rival!Eren who stops listening to his friends the instant he notices your saddened look. to the avarage person, you probably look fine, but he knows you.

Rival!Eren who spams your phone with texts, tries his best getting your attention during class but to no avail. Did someone hurt you? Sitting through this lecture is killing him

Rival!Eren who follows you after class, forcibly taking hold of your hand. “Eren, no.” you sigh, pulling your hand out of his grip. Annoyed, he ignores your request and takes ahold of your hand again, “what’s wrong?”

“Why is it so hard for you to leave me alone?” you yell, surprised by the force in your own voice. both you and Eren’s eyes widen at your second outburst at him

“Alright,” he nods his head, “message received” he says and finally leaves you. Despite having asked for it, panic arises in you as you turn to watch him walk away, only to see him leaning against the locker, still there

A smirk finds his face, “thought I’d leave?”

he’s hit with a surprise when you put your head on his chest and starts sobbing. And you’re left equally as shocked by the relief that fills your chest

Rival!Eren who puts his arms around you and starts stroking your back. he wants to burn the world when he sees it’s hurt you

Rival!Eren who takes you back to his dorm with no room for discussion, but makes a quick pit stop, telling you he’ll be right back and to stay in the car

“Strawberry shortcake?” The look you give him makes him want to back inside and buy you all the cake they have

Rival!Eren who acts composed but feels his heart pounding in his chest all while he drives back to his place, while he’s leaning against the door frame as you’re explore his room, and as eat your cake in silence, with him staring at you

Rival!Eren who’s sure he’s mistaken when you flat out ask to give him to have sex with you, but is quickly corrected when you direct his hand onto the soft flesh of your boob

Rival!Eren who’s fingers act on their own, moulding and squeezing as he regains composure, “hold on, you’ve never done this before, right?”

“No.” you shake your head.

Rival!Eren who grabs ahold of your chin as a smile creeps up on his face , “good.” he’s going to teach you everything. but not today

Rival!Eren who’s thumb plays with the button of your jeans as he asks if you’re going to stop running away from him. loving the way you shy from his question

the way you hesitate makes him want to devour you whole. “I’ll kiss you if you don’t say yes” he leans forward to tease

“C’mon, hurry.”

“Yes.” you barely breathe out before he leans in and kisses the hell out of you. then proceeds to unzip your clothes

Rival!Eren who has the longest make out session of his life, making sure to prepare you by playing with every part of your body

Rival!Eren who’s soaking in the way your face twists into pleasure when he twists and turns his fingers inside of you, telling you to calm down and trust him

Rival!Eren who he talks you through your orgasm, flicks his tongue on your pulse point and whispers, “no one has ever touched you here before, right?”

Rival!Eren who holds you face in his hands after making you come, kissing you once, kissing you again, again, and again. he can’t stop stealing kisses from you, it feels like he’s been robbed of this his whole life.

Rival!Eren who declines your request for him to fuck you. only for you to get mad and get up looking for your clothes

“Yeah, but you’ll fuck every other girl passing by.”

Rival!Eren who laughs and drags your ass back down on his lap, he’s not letting you get away again. not a chance in hell

“You’re gonna belive rumors, baby? thought you were my smart girl.”

“Look, I may not be a virgin, but I might as well be. you’re the only girl Ive ever wanted. it’s not an excuse, it’s a fact. And I’ll keep showing it to you until one day you’ll believe it.”

Rival!Eren who promises to take your virginity one day, but not today.

#idk why a dark academia rival Eren possesed my mind today but i MIGHT write a part 2 for the virginity #eren smut #attack on titan eren #eren #eren jeager x reader #eren aot #eren fanfiction #eren jaeger #just in the clouds for eren #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader

[soulprompts]

𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋.

basically i got thinking abt like. you know when you watch a movie, or read a book, and characters go into a room or they do a particular thing together, and you just KNOW it’s building up to something, and it could be literally anything, from a kiss to a murder, but SOMETHING will DEFINITELY happen??? yeah. this is a love-letter to those glorious scenes! i hope you all enjoy!

[  ROAD  TRIP  ]:     the sender and receiver embark on a road trip together; the purpose could be anything at all, but what’s important is that the journey lasts at least several hours. additionally, the sender and receiver are the only people in the car!

[  BARED  SOULS  ]:     the sender and receiver spontaneously go skinny dipping together in the middle of the night while visiting an isolated lake. go wild! maybe the sender finds the receiver already skinny dipping, maybe it’s the other way round, who knows! you do! maybe.

[  NIGHT-TIME  STROLLS  ]:    the sender decides to walk the receiver home from an event late one night. and it’s very late; so late that they might as well be the only people left in the world. it’s just them and the quiet night sky, and conversations of all kinds are easy to come by.

[  TOP OF THE WORLD  ]:     one of the muses finds the other on the roof-top in the middle of the night. neither of them want to sleep, and so they sit together for the remainder of the night until the sun comes up, content to sit and talk and exist with each other.

[  STEPPING  BACK  ]:      while they’re both attending a particularly lively and crowded party, both muses, craving a moment of peace and fresh air, accidentally go to the same balcony. unwilling to leave, they sit together, and begin to talk as the party spins on behind their backs.

[  NO  VACANCIES  ]:     both characters are in a position where they must share a hotel room together; not so bad, until they realize the only room left has one bed and no sofa in it. paired with a carpet that not even a worst enemy would be subjected to, the two must share the bed.

[  WRONG  ROOM  ]:     after a long day, and a hotel with many vacancies, the two muses part ways to go to bed. only, one of them ends up waking in the middle of the night, and shows up at the other’s doorstep, knocking and asking to come in, for reasons unknown to the other muse.

[  NIGHT-INGALE  ]:     after being badly beaten, one muse shows up on the other muse’s doorstep, pleading for help. the other obliges, brings them in and gently cleans their wounds, bandaging them up, helping them as much as they can while quiet confessions and gentle pleas happen. basically, angst and emotion and hurt and comfort, and it’s DELICIOUS--

[  VISITING  HOURS  ]:     upon waking in a hospital bed, one of the muses turns their head, and finds the other sleeping in an uncomfortable chair by their bedside.

#rp meme #ask meme #roleplay meme #rp memes #writing prompt #writing prompts #rp prompt #ask prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #roleplay starters #rp starters #dialogue starters #( if y'all like this one i might make a part 2! )

[kissohee]

taesan x leehan x fem!reader ☆ nsfw ; wc : 3k+ ☆ one-shot mdni! synopsis; when taesan and leehan invite you to go swimming with them, you find yourself doing a lot more than swimming. warnings; all bnd members mentioned except wnk, i refer to taesan (dongmin) and leehan (donghyun) as their real names, hot tub sex, leehan is more of a dom than taesan is, hickies, fingering, humping, unprotected sex (wrap it!), handjob, big dick leehan ofc, theyre pervs (?), boob play, they get a teeny bit competitive/bicker at each other at one point, no mxm

Jaehyun had warned you way before you guys had even gotten to the hotel that Dongmin and Donghyun were more than likely going to drag you to the pool with them.

And he was absolutely right, because not even 5 minutes into checking into the hotel, they were asking the lady at the front desk about the pool on the roof. When she said it was for residential use for free, they couldn't hide the excitement they felt about it. "We should go the second we unlock our hotel rooms." Donghyun suggests, dragging his suitcase in the halls while everyone walks to the 3 rooms you guys had rented. "Shouldn't we settle in first?" You raise an eyebrow at him and Donghyun shrugs back with a smile on his face. Jaehyun plays with the keycards in his hands, figuring out which room is for which key before giving you yours. You had split up the 3 rooms by having you by yourself, while Sanghyeok, Sungho and Jaehyun were in another and the last one is for Dongmin and Donghyun. You place the keycard on the pad on your door, Dongmin leans against the wall watching you, "So it's official you're coming with us?" You ignore his question when the pad on the door turns red, the keycard refusing to work. "I-" You look at him confused and he turned his attention to the keycard, "It's not working?" "Let me try," he grabs the card from you and when the pad turns red again he searches around for Jaehyun, who opened his door and is now inside the room. "Myungjae.!" He yells loud enough for him to hear but not loud enough to make the surrounding rooms complain. Jaehyun pops his head out and raises his eyebrows, "It's not working." You grab the card from Dongmin to hand it to Jaehyun who is now attempting to work the keypad. You see Donghyun poke his head out from the room he also got open, curiosity on his face. "Huh," Jaehyun inspects at the card, "Weird. Maybe they gave us the wrong one?" You look at Dongmin and Donghyun before shrugging your shoulders, "Looks like the pools gonna have to wait." "No biggie," Donghyun shakes his head, "You could just change in our room." "But I have to go fix the problem with Jae. It is my room." You look at Jaehyun who has a smile on his face. Dongmin grabs your suitcase before dragging it into the room he was staying in and Jaehyun slightly nudges you, "I got it, don't even worry about it." Before you were able to even say anything back, you found yourself in Dongmin and Donghyun's room, looking through your suitcase for the bathing suite you made sure to pack. "Is that one new?" Donghyun asks, grabbing the bra of your bikini set, his fingers grazing over the texture. You gently snatch it from his hands, "Just bought it." You head towards the rooms bathroom and get dressed. When you leave the bathroom the two boys are in their bathing trunks, and when they both look at you at the same time, you can't help but feel a lot more shy than normal. Donghyun's eyes travel your body before he smiles in a smirk like manner, "I like it." He pats Dongmin's thigh to tell him to get up and they both grab their towels. "Actually do one of you have a towel I can use? I forgot mine at home." You search through your suitcase with no luck. Dongmin towers over you before smiling softly, "You can share with me." When you're silent, his voice gets quieter, "Only if you want to." You look up at him with a smile, "Sure, thank you Min."

The moment you guys made it the pool, you were already shivering. The two boys seemed to not care about the current weather situation, and you assume that's because of how badly they wanted to go swimming. After putting your stuff down on one of the chairs, you took a deep breath before slowly getting in the water. You wished it wasn't so cold out, the ambiance was really nice, especially because you could just look at the city below and see the lights from the buildings brightening up the dark sky. But you couldn't enjoy it because you're stuck in the corner of the pool, shivering. It's so cold you're sure you could get frostbite if you stay in there longer than 30 minutes. "Hey guys," They both watch as you exit the pool, "It's really cold." Donghyun swims to the edge you were standing at and lifts himself up, "We can go." "No.!" He confusingly drops back into the pool, "It's okay, we can stay, I just won't go into the pool, that's all." "You sure?" Dongmin tilts his head and you nod. You didn't want to be the reason why they weren't able to enjoy something they were very clearly looking forward to doing, and the temperature of the air wasn't so bad. Your skin started to dry up once you wrapped yourself in Dongmin's towel, only then did you realize there was a hot tub attached to the pool. You watch as the two boys compete in swimming laps, contemplating on whether or not you should test out the hot tub before carrying yourself over there and sitting inside. The temperature was the exact opposite of the pools, it was nice and warm. The light blue light turning the water entirely translucent. Eventually they both got out the pool too, complaining about how the cold water got to them as well and joining you in the hot tub to warm up. "It's soo much better in here." Dongmin rests his back against the wall of the hot tub, laying his head back. You did the same thing as Dongmin, even resting your eyelids for a bit, and when you opened them you were greeted by Donghyun staring at your breasts. "Eyes are up here, Kim Donghyun." You warned in a jokingly manner, his eyes dragging up into yours, but the expression on his face not changing once. "Can't help it," He looks back at your breasts again, "Especially not when you look so good.." You splash some water towards him and laugh to try to even out the heavy atmosphere. Donghyun splashes you back and responds with laughter in his voice, "Did I say something wrong?" You sigh so loud it came out more as just simply exhaling, "Well I mean- I don't know... But you can't just say things like that." He raises an eyebrow, "And why not?" "Because-" You have trouble finding your words, "Because we are friends..?" Your voice shaky, not sure if what you were saying was even true. Donghyun and Dongmin have always been super close to you ever since you met. Despite the fact that you met through Jaehyun, Dongmin and Donghyun had zero problem when it came to flirting or being extra close, more than always passing it off as a joke.

So there's no way either of them think of you as anything more than a friend, it was simply just joking. "You know," Donghyun looks at Dongmin who's shaking his head to tell him that whatever it is that he's about to say, he shouldn't say it. "Dongmin's found you hot since the moment you met." Dongmin continues to shake his head before covering his face with his hands, very clearly embarrassed. Donhyun opens his mouth to talk again before he gets cut off, "Not just me. Donghyun has been eyeing you forever." "Well this is news to me." You say before Donghyun has the opportunity to respond to him. The three of you sit in silence, unsure on how to continue the conversation after their awkward confessions. Donghyun looks at Dongmin who's shaking his head again and he looks at you, "On that note," he speaks slowly, "What if I told you I want to fuck you?" You don't know what exactly you expected out of Donghyun's mouth, but it certainly wasn't that. Anything but that actually. It seems as though he read your mind, "You'd let me right?," Dongmin clears his throat and Donghyun immediately corrects himself, "Sorry, you'd let us, right?" You look between them both, fidgeting with your fingers, "Both.. of.. you..?" "Is that okay?" Dongmin butts in, making it clear he's interested in you despite not participating in the conversation as much. You had to really think about it. You thought they were attractive, everyone did, but if you agree to it, it could possibly turn the really good friendship you had with them into an awkward one. Yet for some reason you find yourself nodding, agreeing to their proposal. Donghyun is first to react, and the moment his lips touch yours, you feel your body heat up. A very different type of heat than the one coming from the hot tub. Especially when Donghyun slides his tongue into your mouth without you even realizing, a clear natural, and your hands come to hold his cheeks. Dongmin whispers something in Donghyun's ear, who looks at him with an obvious look on his face. Breaking away from your kiss, he replies, "Me, duh." "What? Why?" Dongmin whines out, a pout forming on his lips. "I'm bigger, she'll feel more full." Donghyun shrugs like it's the clear choice. You put the pieces together and realize they're talking about who actually goes inside of you, you would offer to take both of them, but their bickering was too entertaining for you to want to stop them. "So???" Dongmin rolls his eyes, "Fine, can I at least touch her before you?" "Okay, but don't let her cum, I want her to cum from me." "She'll cum twice then." Dongmin shrugs, lifting one of your legs over his, helping to spread yours softly. His hand rests over your clothed heat, only thing keeping it from making contact is the polyester of your bikini bottom. "You are okay with this, right?" He softly asks you.

You shift your hips around and nod, "Yes, please just.." Placing a hand on the rough seat of the hot tub to balance yourself, but instead leaning against Donghyun, who wraps his arms around your waist. Dongmin pushes the fabric of your bikini to the side, softly pressing one of his fingers on your clit, looking at your face to observe your reactions. Your chest rises and falls heavier when he starts toying with your clit, sending waves of sensation to where you needed it the most. Donghyun watches from above your shoulder at the way Dongmin moves against your clit. You let out a soft moan and Dongmin tries his best to hold down a smile that tried to escape. When he felt you clench around nothing, he took it as a sign to enter one of his fingers in. You hold his arm, and he stops moving, waiting until you give him the green light to continue. When you got slightly used to the feeling of his finger inside of you, you let go of his arm. He looks at you for confirmation and when you nod, he starts pumping his finger in and out of you. It's been a while since you last had any type of sensation so his singular finger was already stimulating you to the point of release. You shift your hips again, this time being able to feel Dongmin's bulge, pressing your knee into it to hopefully give him some relief he might be looking for. And you know you're right when he curses under his breath before softly grinding against your knee in the pace of his fingers. "Min-" You moan out when he enters another finger inside of you, not able to take his eyes off of the way your mouth hangs open from how good he's making you feel. And he didn't realize how much he's yearning for release too until he focuses on it. The mere fact that Dongmin's attempting to get himself off using your knee makes you clench around his fingers. Would it be too late to ask if you could take him right now? Those thoughts disappear when Donghyun whispers in your ear, "Maybe it's a good thing he's doing this first.. You're gonna need the slight preparation for when you take me." He leaves a small peck on your cheek and rubs the sides of your waist. You're sure Dongmin overheard when he adds a 3rd finger, reaching so deep inside you you're worried if he's even meant to go that far in. Using his thumb, he circles your clit, trying to keep all his attention on making you feel the best you can instead of on the ache in his cock. Donghyun's words and the way Dongmin feels inside of you, make your head cloud up. And you can't tell if it's that or the heat from the hot tub making you sweat. "Min-" You reach out for him, squeezing on his other arm, "Oh gosh.. Min- Please.." The way you stumbled over your words boosted Dongmin's ego, speeding up his hand while still lightly pressing himself against your knee. Your climax approached you before you were even able to let Dongmin know. Hips twitching as you came on his hand, mumbling his name so much it'll wear out. Donghyun softly rubs against your stomach to rid it of any possible aches.

"My turn," Donghyun lifts you up and into his lap, taking note in the way your body has given up on strength. "Unless you-" You shake your head and look at Dongmin before looking at Donghyun, "I'm okay, let's continue.!" "You sure?" Donghyun looks at you for extra confirmation, never wanting to go out of your comfort zone, but when you mumble a small 'I promise', he's already undoing the lace on his swim trunks. Donghyun frees himself from the shorts, cock aching to be inside of you, and he mimics what Dongmin did and pushes your bikini to the side. He lines himself up with you, "Let me know when you're ready." You nod and take a deep breath, "I'm ready." He inserts inside of you, the size of his cock making your walls burn and you feel the wind get knocked right of you, "Oh fuck." "I won't move," He rubs his hands along your back, reaching your bikini top before undoing it. Despite trying to catch your breath, you notice the way both Dongmin and Donghyun stare at your bare breasts in awe, the other boy adjusting himself in his shorts. "Can I move now, sweetheart?" You hear almost desperation come from Donghyun's voice as he moves his hands to your breasts, softly massaging them. "Yeah I think I'm good now." You speak slowly, trying to get used to Donghyun's warm wet hands on your sensitive nipples. He looks at Dongmin who is trying his hardest not to touch himself, "Dongmin, come here." The boy looks at Donghyun with confusion, "I need you to help her move." Dongmin sulkily listens, upset that he's not the one inside of you right now, but nonetheless he softly grabs your hips and guides you on top of Donghyun who continues to play with your breasts. Dongmin takes the advantage of his control to finally feel what it's like to have your lips against his, and given the situation, he thinks the kiss is sweet. But he doesn't do it anymore than once, knowing you're too focused on Donghyun. He hold onto Donghyun's shoulders, feeling like your core was being ripped apart, thankful Dongmin was there to help you as you knew you wouldn't have been able to on your own. The same boy took the opportunity to press kisses all over your shoulders and neck, sucking on spots that seemed to get a reaction out of you. Your hand searches Dongmin's body, finally finding his bulge. When you softly palm it, he jolts, making Donghyun thrust up into you, earning a moan from you. He whimpers, allowing you to do it again. In between Donghyun's thrusts, you undo Dongmin's trunks so you can help him better. Donghyun moves his hands from your breasts to your hips, guiding you on him as you pump Dongmin's dick in a pace that matched Donghyun's. Dongmin removes his lips from your skin so you could jerk him easier, he melts into your touch, already finding himself closer than he'd expected. Donghyun replaces the absence of Dongmin's lips on you with his own, biting down on your collarbone skin, more than likely leaving marks impossible to cover up. Feeling the pressure in between your legs grow as Dongmin's cock twitched in your hand, even Donghyun's grip on your hips tightened as you got closer to release. Moving your thumb along Dongmin's tip got him to where he's been wanting, his whimpers increasing in volume as his cum streams into the water. His eyebrows furrowing as he breathes heavy. Donghyun starts moving faster underneath you, his hips thrusting up sporadically. You feel him move inside of you, curses falling from his lips faster, you reach your climax again, moaning both their names with the very little energy you have left. Donghyun lifts you off of him so he could cum too, it never leaving the warm water.

You collapse onto Donghyun when your body gives out, all 3 of you in silence while you all catch your breath and come to realization about what had happened. "Here, take her," Donghyun eventually speaks up, helping you rest on Dongmin's lap instead so he could fix himself and help put your bikini top back on. Your eyelids felt heavy and the comfort of Dongmin's shoulders makes you fall asleep, burnt out from the previous activities.

-

You were sure they carried you back to the hotel room, because when you opened your eyes, you were in pajamas on a bed instead of in the hot tub. When you turned around, you were face to face with Dongmin, who was peacefully sleeping. And something about that made you smile.

hi this was actually the death of me. i went through the 5 stages of grief writing this. this fic is based on this ask! it was highly wanted and the original nonie said i could write it so i did!! big thank u to nonie for the idea and bunny for helping me! it took longer than i wanted and im not happy with the result but you know,,,, 😭 also the writing looks a little awkward because both of them are Dongs,, so you end up seeing those letters a lot, guess i have their parents to thank for that 💔

#did not read this before uploading so once again - if u see any errors... no u dont ^^ #boynextdoor smut #taesan smut #leehan smut #btw taesan likes reader in a “i want to kiss & snuggle you & give you gifts” way - rather than leehans “i want to fuck you & ur tits” way #might write a part 2 where taesan fucks reader - sorry cutie pie this was leehans turn to shine

[lovesickeros]

☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]

{☆} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 3.7k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]

Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.

It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeks– like a swarm of rats skittering about.

Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waiting– biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.

She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboard– and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attention– the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.

She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anything– it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.

Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.

And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summons– it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.

She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per se– the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.

So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attached– a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.

Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.

..A dangerous prize, too.

She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all together– the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.

"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.

He looked out of breath, she noted.

The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.

He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.

"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silent– all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his hands– the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."

Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her hands– yet just as quickly, she collects herself.

But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.

So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.

If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expected– he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.

Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.

What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..

The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical script– If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.

So if not the prophecy, then what?

Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatui– especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.

She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.

..A draw, perhaps.

The pieces were all falling into place– the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.

She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.

Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.

She would simply have to capture the king– or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.

She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry today– it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.

"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."

All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.

With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victory– no matter the cost.

Each piece had it's purpose.

Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible end– but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.

She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distant– she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.

It was almost too easy.

She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being played– the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.

The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chest– listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.

She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterly– this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.

With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.

Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficult– she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.

She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold air– her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.

Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.

The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongue– the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.

Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.

..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.

She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.

"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefully– the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..

Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.

Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensation– she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.

It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.

She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mind– a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.

For a moment – a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash – she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.

And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a finger– it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.

She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.

"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Not– not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"

Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skin– Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..

The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!

"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."

Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.

"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"

..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stare– it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the stars– galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.

She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.

"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floor– she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't exist– you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.

Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."

Hers brows furrow– she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.

"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin line– it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?

She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrath– she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?

"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sides– her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."

The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.

"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intense– she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"

Again, her vision flares and dims– it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.

"Have you no answer?"

The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.

Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.

"I will kill them myself."

Their words are quiet, but they are not soft– there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows stronger– to the point she feels almost lightheaded.

"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify it– I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."

They pause for a moment, holding out their hand– scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.

"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"

Did she?

"Will you help me?"

She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.

"..Yes."

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #imposter au #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #arlecchino #lyney #furina #you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic #trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually! #I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew #anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks #also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth #furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road #arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11 #shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay #hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS #ehe :] #is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!! #shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies #anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D #also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty #bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat.. #reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay #they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more #a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)

[atomicradiogirl]

here are my favorite quotes from dune messiah cause frank herbert cooked so hard

“save your praise for those who can be swayed by it”

“beloved,” she whispered. “have i troubled you?” her arms enclosed his future as they enclosed him. “not you,” he said. “oh… not you.”

“paul saw the moon become an elongated sphere. it rolled and twisted, hissing — the terrible hissing of a star being quenched in an infinite sea. it was gone. no moon. the earth quaked like an animal shaking its skin.”

“the flesh surrenders itself. eternity takes back its own.”

“they’ve blinded my body, but not my vision”

“awakening, she’d found paul sitting beside her, his eyeless sockets aimed at some formless place beyond. chani stilled a fit of trembling when he aimed those eyeless sockets at her.”

“i was baptized in sand and it cost me the knack of believing. who trades in faiths anymore? who’ll buy? who’ll sell?”

“we have eternity, beloved.” “you may have eternity. i only have now.” “but this is eternity.”

“he felt his body through her touch: dead flesh carried by time eddies. he reeked of memories that had glimpsed eternity. Past and Future became simultaneous.”

“you cannot see!” “i don’t need eyes to see you.”

“if you need something to worship, then worship life—all life, every last crawling bit of it! we’re all in this beauty together!”

“this myth he’d made out of intricate movements and imagination, out of moonlight and love, out of prayers older than Adam, and gray cliffs and crimson shadows, laments and rivers of martyrs—what had it come to at last? when the waves receded, the shores of Time would spread out there clean, empty, shining with infinite grains of memory and little else. was this the golden genesis of man?”

“there are problems in this universe for which there are no answers.”

“people are subordinate to government, but the ruled influence the rulers.”

“he is the fool saint, the golden stranger living forever on the edge of reason.”

#dune #dune messiah #paul atreides #chani kynes #duncan idaho #frank herbert #i read all of dune messiah today #had to type those quotes out manually since i read it on paperback #5 star read #so so good #dune messiah might be the best book sequel ever #so many thoughts #the writing is so good #i’m so locked in for dune part 3 #dune part 2

[katelynnwrites]

Think I Forgot How To Be Happy, Something I’m Not (But Something I Can Be) | Felicitas Rauch

warnings: reader’s prior messy break up

word count: 3642

summary: you leave north london broken but maybe in germany, you’ll meet someone who helps you to heal, part two can be found here

a/n: requested, some fluff for my fellow germany fans. also my brain kinda went off on it’s own tangent here so this is what it is 🥺😂

Germany is not somewhere you thought you would ever live in. Yet here you are, in your new and empty apartment, having signed for Wolfsburg.

Arsenal had been your home for as long as you could remember and you had never planned on leaving your childhood club.

You were happy there. Until you made the stupid decision to date a teammate.

That’s where it had all gone wrong for you.

The way your relationship had ended, you wouldn’t wish that on anyone. The initial dismissal and pulling away by your ex had left you with trust issues.

The inevitable break up led to you falling out of love with North London. All the little corners and places in the city that you had once loved so much and therefore shared with your ex were now tainted with painful, sour memories.

So encouraged by your Arsenal teammates who have had a front row seat to the way your relationship had fallen apart, you had left the only home you had ever known for Wolfsburg.

******

You arrive in Wolfsburg to Jill’s open arms, the former Arsenal player having been instructed to look out for you.

She picks you up at the airport and brings you to the apartment where you would be staying.

The Dutch woman offers to stay and help you unpack but you give her a small smile and tell her you would be fine on your own.

You don’t want to say it but you need a moment alone, to process this enormous decision that you had made.

Jill understands and leaves but promises to be back so that you can carpool with her to your first training session with the German club.

Alone in your apartment, surrounded by cardboard boxes, you sigh and sit down to think.

******

Jill introduces you to your new teammates. They’re all welcoming, friendly and nice, excited to meet their new English teammate.

You’d remember a few of them, from international friendlies.

Lena Oberdorf especially because she had almost taken your ankle out with a solid tackle.

She rushes to greet you first, saying she is so glad to meet you and worrying if you hold any hard feelings towards her.

You didn’t and you tell her as much, giving her a warm smile.

Svenja Huth is next, taking her duties as captain very seriously and wanting to make sure you are fitting in okay.

The following faces you meet kind of blur together, unfamiliar German accents being the only thing you catch.

Until a brunette steps forward, meaning to introduce herself only for a blonde to interrupt her loudly, ‘I’m Jule and this is Felicitas.’

‘Don’t call me that.’ She mumbles, making Jule giggle.

‘Ignore her please. I’m Feli and it’s really nice to meet you.’

You laugh and shake her hand.

Feli smiles and you give her one in return.

******

As lovely as your new teammates are, you’re still not letting them in and keeping your guard up.

It bothers them, when you make excuses to miss team meals and leave team bondings early.

You play well with them on the field, connecting easily and creating goal scoring opportunities. Your talent is not something that was ever in doubt but now it shines through. The German style of play suits you.

But your distance concerns them enough that they ask Jill, the only one who you seem willing to open up to about why you seem so closed off and sad.

Jill tells them about your messy break up and how much it had hurt you.

She doesn’t share enough to violate your privacy but what she said had been enough.

Your Wolfsburg teammates are kinder to you after that, patiently waiting for you to let them in.

Especially Feli who is particularly enamored with you. With your English accent and smile.

The German has been trying to keep her growing feelings for you under wraps but it’s been getting harder for her to do so.

She loves spending time with you, adores the way your eyes light up when you find something funny.

When she finds out you’re a dog person, she brings her dog to training.

Feli watches as you laugh, letting her poodle lick your hand. Her heart skips a beat when you look up at her, a big grin on your face.

The sound of your laughter gives her a warm feeling inside, so much so that she’s smiling like a fool.

Jill leans against the wall with her and quietly says, ‘Well done. This is the most relaxed I’ve ever seen her since she got here.’

‘I just want her to be happy.’ Feli murmurs, shrugging lightly.

In that moment, Jill realises exactly how smitten her teammate is.

******

You weren’t blind. You know that your teammates know what is up with you.

But slowly and surely, their patience and kindness begins to pay off.

Feli is a big part of that.

The German player had caught onto how much you love her dog and had repeatedly invited you to a park not far from the training grounds.

At first you had made your usual excuses but Felicitas had been gentle but persistent in her asking, so much so that you had acquiescenced.

In the time you spend with Feli and Cinnamon, you get to know them both.

Cinnamon loves getting the spot behind her ears scratched and Feli loves her coffee.

As you grow more and more familiar with a certain German, you find yourself developing feelings for her.

Eventually it gets to the point where you wake up one morning, on an off day and catch yourself excitedly getting ready to see her at the park.

You don’t go that day.

You ignore all her subsequent texts and calls.

They are anxious and worried at first but soon get even more frantic.

You hide under your blankets and keep your phone far away from you.

So great is the pain in your heart and so heavy are the thoughts in your head that you forget that you gave Jill a spare key when you moved in.

The depth of Feli’s feelings for you are not to be underestimated because soon enough, she’s there with Jill.

Jill who takes one look at you in your room and quietly sits down beside you on the bed, where you’re curled up.

‘Schat, I know that you’re scared of what you might feel for Feli but for what it’s worth, I believe that she couldn’t be more different than your ex.’

The Dutch woman waits a moment and upon not getting any response, sighs.

‘She was so worried you know. Feli practically begged me to come here and check on you.’

‘Was she?’ You softly ask, tearing up slightly as Jill talks about the German woman who has found her way in your heart despite your best efforts to keep her out.

‘She still is. I couldn’t convince her to go back to her apartment so she’s here. I managed to get her to wait in your living room till I spoke with you.’

‘She’s here?’

You panic and stand up, rushing to pull your bedroom door open.

Felicitas freezes, she’d been pacing you think.

Cinnamon barks happily and runs up to you. The brown poodle gets an absentminded pet from you before you straighten back up.

You keep staring at Feli and barely notice Jill leaving the apartment after saying that she’d give the two of you a moment.

‘Hi.’ Feli softly says.

‘Felicitas.’

‘You’re the only one who I don’t mind calling me that you know? Well, other than my parents.’ The brunette gives a tiny laugh before she takes a step towards you.

‘You mean a lot to me. The way I feel about you isn’t a secret.’

The sharp inhale that escapes you is loud. You didn’t know that your feelings were returned and the anxiety her confession causes must be clear on your face.

Feli’s eyes widen and she quickly says, ‘I know someone hurt you badly and I want you to know that I would never do that. I really care for you and I'd just like you to know that if you ever want to let me in, I'll be here. You don’t have to feel the way I feel but I'm here. I'm always going to be here for you. I'm not going anywhere, I promise.’

‘You promise?’

The way your voice wavers makes your unsurety apparent.

It’s why Feli doesn’t hesitate to answer with certainty, ‘I promise.’

You stay silent, trying to see if she really means it.

After a moment, you decide she does. You trust that she does.

‘Okay. D-Do you still want to go to our park now?’

It’s a tiny nervous step from you but a step nonetheless.

‘Of course.’ Feli is quick to agree, a wide smile on her face.

The fact that you had referred to the park as yours and hers, gives her butterflies in her stomach.

******

You join your teammates for lunch.

If Feli had to bring Cinnamon and sit beside you for the whole meal, she didn’t care.

Neither did your teammates who are over the moon that you are finally comfortable enough to start letting them in.

They don’t explicitly say anything to you but the way they grin and hug you, shows you that they care.

The meal is lighthearted and fun, situated at a pet friendly restaurant, to accomodate Cinnamon.

By the end of it, you have decided that getting to know your teammates outside of training wouldn’t be so bad.

Especially if Feli was going to hold your hand every time she thought you were anxious.

******

You begin going over to Feli’s apartment.

She convinced you to come over one day, after playing fetch with Cinnamon, saying that she’d like to introduce you to proper homemade German food.

You’d hesitated but she had looked at you so pleadingly you could not say no.

So you said yes.

And that is how the twice a week dinners started because the food that Felicitas makes is just so good.

You might even say that it makes you fall a little harder for her.

Feli tries to teach you how to cook but it doesn’t really work out. It’s almost laughable really, how hard the both of you try, you to cook and her to teach you.

Eventually the two of you just resign yourselves to the fact that it wouldn’t work and settle into a new routine.

One where you go shopping for groceries together and cook together in Feli’s apartment.

A routine where you insist on paying for the groceries since she cooks and where you sit on the counter, sneaking pieces of food to Cinny as you watch her cook.

******

As the months pass by in Germany, you make sure to keep in contact with your old Arsenal teammates.

Your English teammates you still see at camp but you miss your other teammates.

Especially Lia who you have always been particularly close to.

Lia who you call one night, to have her answer your video call with a knowing smile.

‘Lia?’ You nervously question.

‘You’re falling in love.’

‘What? Lia no.’

‘I was watching the game today. I saw you run to a certain Felicitas Rauch as soon as she went down. You were the first one by her side.’

‘I care a lot about all my teammates. I’d do the same for you.’

Lia doesn’t just laugh, she giggles.

‘Yes but you wouldn’t be smoothing sweaty hair off my face or helping me sit up. Or holding my hand as you walk me back to my position.’

You frown, remembering the moment from earlier.

Feli had been tackled and had gone down holding her ankle. She had not got back up, so you had sprinted right over.

Upon hearing her pained gasps, you had immediately tried to soothe her pain as best as you could.

It hadn’t occurred to you that it would be broadcasted on live television.

You had just been so focused on Feli and the fact that she had been hurting. Everything else was unimportant then.

The way Felicitas had gratefully held your hand as the medics checked out her ankle, it assured you that you had made the right decision.

Lia’s new fit of giggles brings you out of your thoughts.

‘I’d hold your hand and walk you back to your position if you wanted.’ You grumble.

The Swiss woman laughs once more before looking at you seriously.

‘I’m so glad you’re healing. It wasn’t easy to see how broken you were before.’

‘Feli’s been…’

You trail off, not knowing how to explain exactly how kind, patient and warm the defender has been to you.

Lia nods, ‘I know Feli and I know you. I also know that you’ll be good for each other.’

‘I don’t know Lia. I’m just so scared. Feli means so much to me and she’s been incredibly sweet but there’s always the chance that this all goes wrong. I love Germany and I feel at home here now. I don’t want to lose that again.’

Your former teammate nods once more, understanding your fears.

But then she asks something you should have asked yourself a long time ago.

‘Why does Germany feel like home?’

The answer is one you know deep down. Germany only feels like home because of Felicitas.

******

You curl into Feli’s body, your palm resting on her stomach.

She shifts, allowing you to get more comfortable.

‘Thanks.’ You whisper, so as to not disturb the rest of your teammates during the movie screening and she presses a kiss onto your hair in response.

You don’t stop her when she presses a second and then a third affectionately.

If anything, you relax even further into her.

With her so close, you can hear and feel the way her breath stutters every time the movie picks up.

It seems that Feli scares easily and you find that adorable.

******

Twice a week dinners at Feli’s apartment become a nightly occurrence.

One evening when it’s her turn to host team bonding, you answer the door.

Jill smirks.

You roll your eyes.

She catches you alone, in Feli’s kitchen later on.

‘Whatever you two are, it’s not just friends.’

‘I know.’ You say softly and despite Jill’s excited follow up and slightly invasive questions, you don’t say anything else.

******

Despite how close you and Feli are, she’s not your bus buddy.

Your bus buddy is Jill and hers is Kathy.

Today though, Felicitas is having a hard time.

It didn’t matter that Wolfsburg had won the game. By her high standards, she had played an awful game and she’s just so tired. She is exhausted and furious at herself.

All she wants is to go back to her apartment and sleep. And maybe cuddle with Cinnamon a bit.

Feli is so out of it that she doesn’t notice Jill nudging you and not too quietly murmuring, ‘Go to her.’

Kathy switches with you easily once she sees you coming towards her.

It doesn’t occur to Feli that you have noticed her change in behaviour and would want to check in on her.

So when you slide into the seat beside her and reach out to hold her hand, she jumps with surprise.

‘I got you.’ You promise and guide her to lean against your shoulder.

Felicitas does so with a breath of relief.

When you carefully kiss her cheek and pull her even closer, Feli thinks that everything is going to be okay.

******

You’re more affectionate with her than ever and Feli loves it.

She loves how comfortable you are around her now, from holding her hand on team walks to cuddling with her on her couch.

Now, having traveled back to North London, for the Champions League, Feli is especially glad you’re letting your walls down.

She knows it would be hard for you to be back in your old home so she wants to be there for you, as best as she can.

Svenja had given out the room assignments and you had eagerly pressed a kiss onto Feli’s cheek when you found out she would be with you.

‘Hi roomie.’ You’d teased and she had held out her hand to you.

‘Hello.’ Feli murmurs, smiling when you take her hand.

As she follows you into the elevator, she makes a mental note to thank her captain.

******

You’re so excited to be back in North London. You’ve missed the city and your friends.

You’re even more excited to take Felicitas to your favourite cafe.

She loves coffee more than anyone you have ever known and you hope that she likes the coffee there.

Unfortunately that has to wait till after the game. You will have a chance to do that tomorrow, before you fly back to Germany.

First you have to play and hopefully win against your former team.

But for now, you’re content to watch Feli get ready for bed.

Felicitas who looks so cute with her glasses on.

So you tell her that and she blushes, making you laugh.

******

Feli squeezes your hand in hers as you line up in the tunnel. The Arsenal players aren’t here yet so the defender takes a moment to check on you.

‘You okay?’ She asks and you nod, wrapping your arms around her waist and burying your face into her neck.

You take a deep breath in and Felicitas rubs your back soothingly.

She smells nice and you allow her to calm you down.

Feli places a brief kiss onto your forehead and then steps back as the Arsenal players join your team in the tunnel.

‘Lia!’

The Swiss player hugs you immediately. Lia’s eyes meet Feli’s and she mouths, ‘Thank you.’

******

Your game ends as a draw.

As you go around shaking hands and sharing hugs with your former teammates, there’s a lot of laughter.

But when you’ve made your rounds, you’re back at Feli’s side, slipping your hand into hers as she walks back towards the tunnel.

Feli looks at you in surprise.

‘Don’t you want to spend time with your old teammates?’

‘I have.’ You answer but Felicitas squeezes your hand.

‘Don’t you want to spend more time with them?’

‘Nope. I want to spend time with you now.’

‘Oh.’ Felicitas’ cheeks turn a bright pink and she brings your joined hands up to her lips so that she can kiss the back of your palm.

If Lia or your ex sees the short moment, they don’t say anything.

If your ex-girlfriend glances at Lia, the Swiss woman’s only response is to shrug as if to say, ‘You’ve lost her.’

******

‘To go or having here?’ The barista asks.

Feli eyes you in question and you say, ‘To go please.’

As you wait for your coffees to be ready, you explain, ‘There’s somewhere I want you to see. It meant a lot to me when I was growing up here.’

Felicitas simply holds your hand and smiles at you reassuringly in answer.

When you leave the cafe, she deposits your joined hands in her jacket pocket for warmth. In doing so, she catches the expression of complete adoration on your face and feels the familiar butterflies in her stomach flutter around.

‘How’s your coffee?’ You ask, as you lead her down the street.

Feli grins, ‘It’s good. I understand why this is your favourite coffee.’

‘It isn’t anymore.’ You whisper.

‘It isn’t?’

‘Yours is.’

Felicitas visibly tries and fails to fight back her smile.

‘It’s the cinnamon I put inside isn’t it? I told you it would grow on you.’

‘You were right.’ You admit and Feli laughs. Her thumb brushes over the back of your hand and you duck your head to hide the way your cheeks burn.

‘Come on. We’re almost there.’

‘Okay.’ Feli murmurs.

******

It’s only a short walk from there and it’s spent in comfortable silence.

When you reach a small side street, you gently tug Felicitas with you, into a park just beside it.

‘It’s beautiful here.’ Feli quietly says.

‘It is. But you should see it in the summer. There’s so many flowers then.’

You and Feli sit down beside each other on the bench. You rest your head on her shoulder and Felicitas exhales.

She finishes her cup of coffee and then sets it aside.

‘Why’d you bring me here? Not that I don’t want to spend time with you but why?’

Sitting up properly, you look at Feli for a long moment.

Her eyes are so pretty you think.

Gingerly, you reach out to trace the contours of her jaw. Felicitas melts, leaning into your touch.

Very very slowly, you begin to close the gap.

Feli catches on immediately and she gently stops you.

Your eyes widen with hurt and you pull away, making the German player rush to stop you.

‘Liebling I want this. I really really do. I just need to make sure that it’s what you want too.’ She softly says.

‘Felicitas…’

Feli tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It’s an infinitely sweet gesture that has your breath catching.

‘You met your ex-girlfriend last night and I know you’re saying you’re okay but that couldn’t possibly have been easy for you.’

‘It wasn’t. But I am okay Felicitas.’

‘But you-’

‘Feli I don’t care about her. I care about you!’

Felicitas stares at you wordlessly.

‘I never brought her here, I’ve never brought anyone here except for you. This is the park where I first learnt to play football.

Your voice is barely audible when you say, ‘It means the world to me and so do you Felicitas.’

This time, when you try to kiss her, Feli doesn’t stop you. She meets you halfway instead.

Dutch Translation:

schat - darling

German Translation:

liebling - love

#google helped me with the translations 😅 #i might do a part 2 to this? #update: i did write a part 2 #feli rauch x reader #felicitas rauch x reader #feli rauch imagine #felicitas rauch imagine #vfl wolfsburg frauen x reader #vfl wolfsburg frauen imagine #gerwnt x reader #dfb frauen x reader #gerwnt imagine #dfb frauen imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #feli rauch #felicitas rauch #katelynnwrites #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #woso #woso imagines

[bongo-clash]

Peacock Au Part 1

Okay so Big Huge credit to @stealingyourbones for letting me do my own take on their amazing eldritch Danny idea!!!! This started out as me just doing a drawing but then I ended up with a whole DPxDC fic that I'll be posting the part two for at some point!!! Anyway, here's the vague designs:

And here's the part one of the fic under the cut!!! :D (Edit: Part 2 is Here!!)

There’s a Lazarus Pit forming underneath Gotham. Normally, this would not concern John Constantine at all, because it’s Gotham, therefore Bat territory therefore not his problem, and honestly he has his own things to worry about. Unfortunately for him, however, the infamous Dark Knight has somehow gotten it into his head that he can do something about it and, Hell, he’d said it would be a ‘big favour’, which meant the man really must be desperate; had to have been in the first place, he supposed, to have even bothered with John in the first place. 

Still, he’d almost kind of forgotten what a huge mess any kind of favour for Batman could be, and thus, he now holds possession of a book that is probably going to get him killed. 

Whether the actual book itself wants to kill him is up for debate, but Constantine has read the contents of this particular Book of Summonings and nothing in here seems remotely safe. He’s absolutely going to be hiding this away somewhere deep in the archives of the archives of the Justice League watchtower with an incredibly pointed ‘DO NOT TOUCH’ on it once he’s done with this, but for now, it’s the only thing he’s got in the way of sorting out this Pit problem. 

There’s an entity that exists, this book claims, that keeps the balance between realms. ‘Closes doors’, apparently, and the doors the pages depict certainly look like a Lazarus Pit. This is brilliant news, obviously, but the book doesn’t describe the entity itself at all beyond that; barely any of the other entries are as vague as this, and that plus some of the frankly bizarre sigils he’s having to draw to summon the damn thing are giving him no comfort. The only remotely comforting thing about it is that the ritual doesn’t require any blood- which either means the entity is benign, or it wants something more valuable than blood. 

…Okay, maybe not that comforting, actually. 

But, before he can consider that maybe this wasn’t his best idea and backing out would be for the best, the sigils flare with light, and Constantine squints to keep track of the way they activate, desperate for any indication of what he’s managed to summon with that stupid book. 

His feet feel feathery against the ground, like they’re barely tethered by gravity and just waiting to float away, and perhaps the seeming lack of atmosphere is fitting with how dust like stars lift from the summoning circle, bringing with them intercepting layers of purple-blue-pink-white, galaxies and nebulae being peeled off the floor. It comes with a sound- something whistling, almost. Seeming hollow, between a shriek and a bell ringing, or maybe more musical than that. It seems to change every moment he tries to focus on it, as if it’s something his ears can’t really hear but his brain is desperate to process, painful to try. 

And then, the entity begins to form. 

Unnoticeably at first, a white glow drifts forming in the centre. It congeals as Constantine’s gaze finally fixates on it, layers forming like jellyfish trails, or flowers, or peacock feathers with runic circles at the tips, fading smaller and smaller as they reach the centre, and a thing akin to a body unfolds into view at the front, a centrepiece. A child’s image of a shadow in opalescence, a strange curving feature where a neck might be, and searing-green spots of varying sizes scattered along the space where cheeks and eyes could’ve been, fading up and down across the lower-half of the ‘face’ and into the ‘hair’. He barely understands what he’s looking at, but maybe that’s the point. 

The sound of a thunderstorm rings across the room, and the curve of the neck unfolds, and it’s an eye, and the tips of a thousand twisted, cosmic peacock feathers become eyes as well, if they weren’t always. They move, wavering, either lashing or flickering from visibility. 

“And what is this?” The voice is a kaleidoscope, echoing off and from every corner of the room, and when they speak, infinite eyes become infinite mouths, too many teeth barely contained by the edges of what seem vaguely like frostbitten lips. To have something even remotely human suddenly etch itself onto the entity is somehow worse than the parts he can’t comprehend. “Who are you, to have summoned me, and seem so afraid?”

Constantine wishes, maybe for the first time, that it hadn’t been an obligation to do this alone; he’s never wanted Batman or one of the Light members with him more than now. It’s a difficult thing, almost impossible, to shake off the speechlessness. It’s a wonder that it’s possible at all, with how the room seems to have been twisted into a vacuum. “I was told you could- you could help with the pits?”

“The pits. There are many pits.”

God, this is creepy. “The Lazarus pits to, uh, to be specific. There’s a huge one cropping up under Gotham that’s not supposed to be there, and the local- I mean, the locals are getting antsy about it. …I heard you can take care of them.”

“I can smell its blood between the gaps of atmosphere, encircling. You, whose soul is bound in so many directions, who may be pulled apart like meat in time- can you sense it? Does it draw you?” John doesn’t know how this- this thing knows that, but he’s scared asking will invoke some kind of consequence, and more and more he’s wondering why the Hell he decided to do Batman this favour. He feels exposed. 

“Uh… no, I don’t think so. But can you fix it?”

“Yes.”

“…Will you fix it?”

The chill is getting to him. Goosebumps are running across his arms like a livewire, and he’s never doing anyone a favour ever again. The entity makes an approximation of a hum, his ears shriek with whale song and stars, and after a pause, everything switching up and down on itself, the peacock eyes form into huge, reaching hands. For a second, Constantine’s whole body freezes with terror, because he’s petrified the thing’s going to grab him, but then the arms tumble phasing into the ground, and the green spots on their ‘face’ flare with a supernova glow and they make another piercing noise, chiming or trilling. 

A long moment later, the hands slowly return to the entity’s back, and fade into the peacock feathers or jellyfish bells or whatever they were before, blinking at him. “It is gone.”

“Uh… cheers?”

“It will not return, but this place shall see its dead for some time. Try not to look.”

This is maybe the worst day of Constantine’s life. “Can I- uh, yeah, great advice. ‘Appreciate it. But, can I ask just, y’know, what you are? Or not.”

“That is up to you.” They say, and though the eyes that appear briefly between sentences bely or reveal no expression, it feels scrutinising. “What is it that closes doors? Is it alive?”

He hates riddles. He hates riddles and he hates cosmic horrors and he hates eldritch entities and he hates Batman for getting him to agree to this horrible favour. He wants to go back to the House of Mystery and pass out for long enough that this whole thing becomes a dream. “Fair enough! Forget I asked- cheers for sorting out that pit, though. Uh, don’t suppose you’ll just let me go on my way or anything now.”

“I know of your Bat.” 

Oh dear. Constantine’s stomach sinks like a shipwreck into the Mariana Trench, but the entity moves on like they’d never even said it. “I will recede, and find you in time, perhaps both. You will know when I am coming, and I will find my recompense.”

And just like that, their whole form shimmers into clouds and pearls and smoke and mirrors, and they fade back into the runes that summoned them like tap water down the drain. The galaxies they’d formulated within the confines of the room fold back in on themselves and turn to whispers and then nothing, but the feeling persists on his skin long after weight has settled back onto his bones. He hadn’t known a thing like that existed until now. He doesn’t know what it can do, doesn’t know how all-encompassing it truly is. 

And he owes it a favour. 

Crap. 

#I'll be posting the part two at some point soon since it's already written out so prepare for that lmao!! #Warning that there might be some mistakes in here since I literally just wrote this and the second part a couple hours ago #This is a Little bit of a thing about my hc on the Ghost Monarchy and how it isn't Actually a monarchy #It's just that the 'king' keeps the actual physical balance of the GZ (ie natural portal stuff) & the title originally had a different name #But when Pariah Dark took the mantle he decided it made him the ruler of the GZ and that's why the Ancients took him down #But I'll talk more abt that if I ever get around to finishing that GZ culture/history/evolution post thing I had planned lmao!!!! #Either way I Love Eldritch Danny sm and writing this was so so fun!!! #Part two will be from Danny's perspective!!! #I might colour those drawings and stuff at some point but for now I like them as they are!!! #Also before I forget I Am still thinking about that pizza delivery guy pt. 2 I just got stuck a bit!!! It'll hopefully appear at some point #dp au #danny phantom au #dpxdc #john constantine #danny phantom fanart #dp fanart #danny phantom #Bongo's Aus!!! #Bongo's Writing!!! #Bongo's Art!!! #tw body horror #peacock au

[crystaldust]

drop your desires

as enticing as your desires may feel like, they are a trap. the one who longs for them and chases after them desperately is the ego, who is lacking them. but the ego can never achieve them. it is all very helpless. let go of it, let go of it all.

the thing is that Self truly already has them, it has everything, their fullfiment and their lack. you must accept this at some point.

you will never be able to see them as long as you feel a desire for them, for that very desire is an indication of the lack for them. which in turns means you are being the ego.

once you start to accept that the ego is not your true identity, you start to let go of it's desires, recognizing they were never your own. and you also embrace the reality of having them since they have always been yours (everything has, you're just selecting what you accept as being yours - thru an ego). you wouldn't long for something you already have right?

#o #personal journey #reminders #non dualism #nondualism #ego #basics #i might write a part 2 for this... #starters

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

#hellsing #alucard #kouta hirano #translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent #fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online #i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443' #but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands #the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake #anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool #if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first #and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf #i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia #then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point #but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page #and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. .... #i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh #the hellsing brainrot runs deep #also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491 #except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo #the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002 #which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out?? #i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch #sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less #it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was #maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'

[daisystwistedgarden]

𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒔

a/n: let the record show this is not the fic i was supposed to be writing rn!! i've been working on a post about the character's prev hs experiences for the college au. but then @etheries1015 posted this fic about rubbing lilia's back and i read it and urgh. i couldn't stop myself. i also saw something going around about lilia using magic to cover up his scarring from the war and fuck that's so good. so i included it. here is my humble offering of a fic toying with these idea-- credit to the linked author and fic for premise!

content + warnings: lilia x gn!reader, suggestive, established relationship, pet names, reader lives in ramshackle, discussion of lilia's scarring + trust issues/evasiveness, reader debates if there's insecurity involved, implied further smut

word count: 1.4k

"you haven't been wearing your back brace recently, have you?"

"hmm... no, i don't suppose i have been."

"of course not. i saw you slouching at your computer earlier, too. no wonder you're so bent out of shape."

lilia chuckles from underneath you. you're almost certain there's a cheesy grin twisting his lips. knowing him, he's delighted by his own mischief, regardless of the effect it has on his body-- and, more obviously, he's delighted by the fact that you love him enough to do him this favor.

"you'll take care of me though, right?" he twists his head to peer over his shoulder at you. he's grinning.

"maybe i should just let you suffer. maybe then you'll learn to take your health more seriously."

"you're wicked, darling."

"no, but i should be. i'm too soft on you."

"you're the light of my golden years."

"yeah, yeah. quit squirming. i'm trying to get this knot between your shoulder blades."

somewhere along the way, you noticed that lilia has some lingering issues with his back. at first, it was subtle shifts in position on your earliest dates to hide the fact that sitting in one spot too long makes him sore. then it was the over-exaggerated stretching before every battle, always played for laughs but never skipped for fear of aggravating his injuries in public. lilia never outright told you he has issues with his back. you never pressed him on why-- it seems some parts of his past he'd rather leave behind-- but as your relationship developed, he became more comfortable lowering his guard and letting you into these parts of his life.

which is how you've ended up here.

ramshackle dorm's shotty yellow lighting comes off as warm and intimate as the sun begins to set through the large window nearby. lilia is sprawled out, face-down in your comforter. you sit carefully on his hips. his jacket and vest have long been discarded carelessly on your floor, leaving him in the button down he wore to classes. even that's mostly undone at this point. the ribbon usually tied around his neck is now bunched in his fist. you had, at one point, been discussing your day, but now the silence was only occasionally broken by the playful spats between you as you tried to urge your beloved fae to take better care of himself.

"that feels good," he murmurs as the heel of your palm pushes hard into the tough knot near the base of his neck. a pleased little groan just barely escapes his lips. "a little weak, but nice."

"sorry, it's just-- i don't want to crumple up your nice school shirt."

"do your worst," he replies. "unless you'd like me to take it off?"

"doesn't surprise me that you're so eager to strip while you're in my bed." now you're grinning.

his signature laugh is low and breathy. lilia is not facing you, yet you're certain his eyes have narrowed as he assesses the challenge laid before him. but you don't want to change the mood so soon-- after all, his back is still sore from the long day he had. you take the initiative to untuck his collared shirt from his slacks and slip your hands under the fabric.

there. under the pads of your fingertips, you can feel them-- the scars.

jagged. rough, still, even after what you assume are years of healing. the contrast between soft skin and scar tissue makes your touch falter.

it's important to note that you've never actually seen the scars on lilia's body. every time he's been shirtless around you-- from simple moments while changing to more intimate encounters-- his skin appears entirely smooth and unblemished. but the scars are there. no doubt. you can feel them, so certainly that you worried along the way that your vision was going bad for you to missing something so crucial. yet they never appeared no matter how close you got.

the conclusion you came to was that lilia was using magic to hide these scars from you, plain and simple. his motivation? unclear. maybe he was just more comfortable that way. but surely that took up unnecessary magic, right? you couldn't help but worry that maybe he hid them for fear of not being found attractive because of them. a ridiculous notion-- wasn't it clear how truly head-over-heels you were from day one?-- but you hadn't found a way to bring up these thoughts without seeming accusatory. maybe this was a molehill your own worries had made a mountain.

"something wrong, dear?"

his voice is even, but you can see right through the question. the lingering tension over these hidden scars hung thick in the air.

"... look at how bent out of shape you are, old man. i'm going to have to hide your controller if you don't stop slouching."

the joke successfully breaks the ice. any tension fades when lilia lets out an amused little scoff.

"i promise to wear my brace tomorrow, alright?" he acquiesces, shifting underneath you with the sort of old man grunt you've grown to find incredibly endearing.

"good enough."

you push up the rest of his shirt to have better access to his bare back. the conversation meanders to the events of the day, to the rest of your week, until the conversation devolves into jokes and teasing back and forth.

the air thickens, and a different kind of tension surfaces. silence fills the room, punctuated by the sound of your respective breathing and the occasional grunt or pleased groan from the man below you.

it's nice. his body is warm underneath yours, his skin soothing beneath your palms as you work his tense joints into languid putty in your hands. it's not often that lilia is so quiet and still for you. your lover is a vicious tease. it's a little surprising he wasn't tried to flip this situation on you yet. all this shifting and touching has left a pool of desire flickering to life in the pit of your stomach.

"my love?" you begin softly. the fae beneath you lets out a small hum of acknowledgement. "are you feeling a bit better?"

"absolutely," he murmurs, turning his head a bit so you can see his grin. he looks especially pleased as one cheek presses into the blankets, his eyes closed tight under your heavy gaze. "though i wouldn't protest if you continued..."

a moment passes where neither of you speak. your hands slide up the expanse of his bare back, mapping out the hidden texture, until they come to rest on near his shoulders where his shirt is bunched up. then they slide off of him entirely to brace yourself on the bed next to his sides. you lower yourself carefully until your chest grazes his back. his eyelids flutter, but they do not open. you can see his smile grow a bit wider in the meantime.

your lips press softly to the curve of his jawline. he lets out a pleased sigh. one ruby eye flickers open to get a look at you now that you've closed in on him.

"is this part of the massage?" he croons, low and breathy and all-too-pleased at where this might be heading.

"i don't know," you muse. "i thought about helping you relax in other ways... but i think your back's a little too weak for such strenuous activity."

a challenge. a wicked glint illuminates his eye, and his body vibrates under you as his signature laugh rings through your room. khee hee...

"my dear, i assure you-- nothing would stop me from indulging in such pleasures. a sore back means nothing in comparison."

he begins to shift underneath you in an attempt to roll over, but your hand pushing one of his shoulders back down into the mattress renders him still. he lifts his head, question poised on his tongue, but your lips meet his in a quick kiss before he can ask why you've stopped him.

"maybe it would be best if you laid back and let me take care of you?" you murmur, soft and suggestive. the hand that had his shoulder pinned wanders up to push the hair off the back of his neck, where your lips press another warm kiss against his skin.

lilia thinks leaving the house without his back brace was the best decision he's made all day.

𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 ❀

#i need him so bad #the thirst crept up on me while i was writing this and for that i might write a smutty part 2? maybe? we'll see #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twst #twst #twst college au #twst x reader #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #twst lilia x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #shhh i'm still figuring out tags on this blog

[jhjluvs]

pairing(s) | seok matthew x f!reader

genre | smut. minors dni!!

wc | 1.9k

warnings | dom!reader, sub!idol, mdlb undertones, slight dollification/dumbification, d/s, handjob, praise, degradation, crying, begging. not super well proof-read either oops

an I hi zb1blr >.< this is my first x reader fic like ever aaah i hope u all enjoy it n feel free to leave comments in the notes <3

“matthew? baby, i’m home!” you call to the empty living room of your apartment. the lights are on but it seems your boyfriend is elsewhere. You sigh, shrug off your shoes, then you keep walking down the narrow hallway, determined to find him. you hear a soft, certain needy kind of noise when you get close enough to the door of your bedroom. it’s matthew, of course. and he sounds like he could use your help.

matthew jumps nearly a foot off the bed when you come in the bedroom, cheeks reddening even further at the sight of you smirking at him in the doorway. he lets go of his cock and sniffles, his bottom lip wobbling slightly. He looks so cute like this, caught red-handed. you resist the urge to coo at him and settle for staring, hands on your hips and waiting for this to say something to explain the stare you've found him in.

“hi, mommy,” matthew says after a few seconds. his cheeks are dusty pink and damp with tears, you notice when you cross the room to get a better look at him. he moves to the edge of the bed without you having to say a word, obedient as ever. your hands cup his squishy mochi cheeks for a moment so you can kiss them and his nose, then they drop to his bare waist. matthew looks halfway to ruined already. it’s so cute.

“hi, matt. what were you doing in here all by yourself, hmm?” you ask. he doesn’t need to know that you could hear his cries from the hallway. he also doesn't need to know what punishment you’re already planning for him--yet. matthew doesn’t look at you and hangs his head in shame, so all you see is the top of his honey-blonde head.

“i was touching.” his voice is barely loud enough for you to hear. you bite back a chuckle at his honesty and sit down on the bed behind him. he turns around so you can gently push him back down on the bed, and then straddle his legs. you take a moment to stare down at his supine form, completely at your mercy. he‘s perfect like this, your perfect boy.

“did you cum, huh, babydoll?” you don’t think he would disobey you that much, but… matthew can be unpredictable.

“n-no, mommy!” he rushes to say, tears welling up in his pretty boba eyes. “m’ sorry, wanted to be a good boy! jus’ couldn’t wait any longer for you. baby needed to touch.”

you smile again. maybe you’ll be nice tonight and let this slide. matthew needing you like this isn’t rare by any means, but it’s been nearly two weeks since you’ve been intimate with him in person like this. your job had whisked you away on an important business trip that had kept you hours away from home for two whole weeks. when you came back to your and matthew’s apartment yesterday evening he’d taken you right there on the living room couch, desperate for it and oh, so needy. and now, matthew had disobeyed you. he had broken a rule, and a very simple rule at that. to his credit, he did say he was sorry and it sounded like he meant it. plus, you’d missed him, too, after all. two weeks without him had been two weeks entirely too many. you look down at your boyfriend splayed out on your bed again. he’s all messy bangs and damp wide eyes and still-flushed cheeks, patiently (or not) waiting on your word. you wipe away the scattered tears from his face with a thumb and watch as he soaks up the affection with a soft smile, clearly eager for more touches in the way he whines when your hand leaves his cheek.

“poor needy thing. i know you’re sorry, angel. mommy’s missed you, too,” you say sweetly. you try to calm the teary-eyed matthew further with your words and warm hands rubbing up and down his bare sides, it won’t do to have him so worked up when you haven’t even touched him yet. “but good little boys don’t touch themselves without their mommy’s permission, do they?”

“n-no.”

“no what?”

“no, mommy,” matthew pouts. he’s so cute and hot at the same time, you don’t know how he does it. you hum in satisfaction at his correction anyway; he’s so good for you when he wants to be.

“much better, there’s my good boy. how do you want mommy to make you cum, sweetheart?”

matthew doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. he blinks in surprise, then looks up at you for confirmation that he heard correctly. you nod, smirking to yourself. you love keeping your boyfriend on his toes, in and out of the bedroom, and tonight is no exception.

“are you sure you’ll let me cum, mommy?”

matthew sounds nervous, worried that you’ll leave him in here all hard and wanting when you’re done teasingly playing with him. oh, he’s too cute. to be fair, you do tend to keep him on the edge when he’s submissive and you can be downright mean. but not tonight. not when you’ve been away from your baby boy and he needs his sweet, gentle mommy to take care of him. and who are you to deny such a sweet boy?

“only if you’re good, baby boy. now answer my question, i won’t ask again,” you say firmly.

matthew sniffles once more, caught off-guard by the sudden firm tone to your voice. “my cock, want mommy to touch my cock n’ make me cum. pleasepleaseplease.”

you can’t resist the urge to coo at his pathetically adorable, needy begging as you reach for matthew’s cock. it’s still damp with pre-cum and hard where it rests against his toned middle.

“mommy’s gonna start slow, can’t have you coming too quickly,” you say. matthew hisses softly when you start stroking his cock, crying out as pleasure begins to cloud his already mushy brain. you smile to yourself when you hear and see him start to fall apart under you, as he whimpers and whines and squirms with every stroke.

“mommy, c-careful! m’ small!” matthew whimpers, fresh tears falling from his eyes. he’s so beautiful when he cries, you think.

“oh, mommy knows that, silly boy. does that feel good, my angel?”

you’re not sure why you even bother asking when you already know what matthew’s answer will be. when he doesn’t answer after several seconds, your free hand makes its way to his head, fingers tangling themselves in his soft hair. you give the clump of honey-blonde hair around your fingers a rough tug, and it’s only then that you begin to get what you want from him. matthew reacts almost immediately, moaning softly at the sudden jolt of pleasure that runs through him after the pain subsides.

“baby’s sorry, jus’ feels s’good, mommy,” he pants breathlessly. “love it when you touch me like this.”

“mommy knows, sweetheart. you’re doing so well.”

when matthew starts to tear up again, when you can tell he’s grown sensitive, you try to soothe him by running your fingers through his hair, then by rubbing small circles on his waist with your thumb, but matthew just whines loudly at every touch, blushing even harder. once again you’re struck with the thought of how precious he is, how beautiful your boy is. you speed up the movement of your other hand on his cock and watch with a smile as he sobs, then whimpers softly. matthew is perfect like this, splayed out on your bed and ever so pliant below you.

“you’re just my pretty dolly, aren’t you? too dumb to do anything but lay there and take it. couldn’t even thank your mommy for getting you off,” you say lowly. “should’ve just punished you for being a naughty little boy earlier.” you’re not really mad at him; he can show his gratitude in other ways than just saying it. but it doesn’t surprise you one bit when matthew doesn’t say anything back right away. he nods and sniffles and even squirms just a little in your hold. you just keep stroking him, not letting up even when he tries to move your hand away with a disappointed whine. you watch as he starts to truly lose his mind, tears falling down his face and whorish noises leaving his mouth.

“m’ sorry for bein’ naughty,” he sobs. “thank you, mommy.”

“shh, just let mommy take care of you. dolls don’t talk, silly boy.”

that seems to be what sets matthew off for good. you love having that affect on your boy, just a few words and he loses his mind in mere seconds. he gets louder and whinier as minutes pass and gets even dumber than before, completely at your mercy, just the way you like him. he even starts to drool a little, saliva dribbling down his jaw like the hot tears that fall from his eyes. and you just watch with one hand on his waist and one hand on his drooling cock. you whisper soft sweet things to him, too, reminders that he’s a good boy and he’s doing so well for mommy. he takes it all in with a quiet sort of appreciation, reaching over to hold your free hand tightly when the pleasure reaches its peak and he can feel an orgasm coming, feel the way his whole body starts to tense up.

“mmh, m-mommy!” matthew whimpers as his thighs shake. “s’ too much, nngh… m’ so close—” he cuts himself off with a loud moan. a bead of white dribbles from his cock and down your hand, landing on the bedsheets below.

“oh?” you ask, taunting. “is mommy’s dolly gonna cum, hm?”

“yes!!” he cries, too far gone to care about being too loud. “gonna come, gonna make a mess for mommy,” matthew starts babbling again, his poor subby brain cloudy with thoughts of sweet release and of you and how good only you can make him feel.

“go ahead, sweetheart. come for mommy, you’ve earned it.”

matthew cums hard with a sharp, high-pitched cry almost immediately after you say he can. his whole body shakes under your legs through the orgasm as his cock twitches limply, painting stripes of white on your hand and his stomach.

“that’s it, good boy, you did so well,” you whisper. you keep stroking matthew’s already spent cock until the aftershocks begin to subside but before he starts trying to sit up. you decide to meet him halfway instead, bending down to press your lips to his. you kiss him languidly and sweetly, cherishing the way you can just barely taste familiar mint chocolate ice cream on his tongue. matthew smiles widely at you when you pull away from him, looking at you with such unbridled joy and love shining in his eyes.

“i love you.”

you smile back at him as you slide off his lap to stand up. “i love you, too. now let’s get you in the shower, and then i might let you return the favor.”

#lord this is nasty #might write a part 2 to this where matt eats reader out in the shower idk yet #pics from a mb i found on here ty mb makers for ur service #zerobaseone smut #zerobaseone hard hours #zb1 smut #zb1 hard hours #zb1 matthew #seok matthew smut #zb1 x reader #☆. ˚ ₊ 𓏸 *

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

"i have to go to sleep" i say

"i really have to go to sleep" i say again, four hours later

#WHEN THE WRITING GROOVE HITS I GOTTA STICK WITH IT #WHO KNOWS WHEN SHE'LL RETURN TO ME #listen this decapitation fic might actually get Done! #ive got the first part written out #all it needs is a re-write and a read and then i guess i could start posting #BUT! i won't until im done with it all #im not making that mistake... #absolutely unprompted #also i need to decide on How to post it #bc it has three little 'arcs' #the Event - the conflict - the resolution #and each one has its own separate chunks with different povs #so its like... each section posted as a full chapter #with distinct separated povs / scenes #or each pov is a new chapter? #but then if its that then the chapter lengths would be so uneven. #its be like 'oh ch.1 is 3k. ch.2 is less than 2k. ch. 3 is less than 3k #rrrgh. but then just posting three big chapters #would be like 'ok part one has like. 7k. part two has 10k. part three has whatever k' #so the question is! #three big chunks posted over the course of three weeks? #or up to 10 smaller chapters over the course of a equal amount of weeks? #im inclined towards the former.... #wanna get this out before the next big update releases and smashes it all into tiny shards! #big chunks! three releases! Once Im Done With The Writing / Editing Process! #might ask a certain someone to beta read! who knows! i do have a person in mind that i'd ask! #we'll see we'll see

[codgod-moved]

woo yeah highschool au sketches yeah !

#.jpg #qsmp #qsmpshipping #AGH can’t be bothered tagging everyone #i might come back and do it after i sleep if i remember #i’m very tired don’t expect me to write a proper caption #yes i did yoink augusts designs for phil and missa. dw abt it #or well some parts of them. i was doing it from memory lol #listen they look cool as hell how could i not #i’m going 2 bed sleep now gn

[ghcstao3]

Once they’re old enough, Simon and Tommy form a band to spite their father—and after a lot of work, they find more success than their father ever had.

They make music to listen to, not only to be loud. It’s music with significance and some degree of relatability beyond the simple making of something, and it develops into something both Simon and Tommy are proud of. And despite the truth of their origins, they never attribute an ounce of inspiration of the formation of their band to their father—he doesn’t deserve it.

Near the beginning of their growth in popularity is when Tommy meets Beth. They get along incredibly well and marry only after a year of knowing each other. It’s sweet, Simon thinks. It’s something Tommy has needed, and earned. Unlike Simon. But he’s content to play bystander and brother-in-law.

Tommy’s the frontman, anyway. He’s the one meant to get the happy ending.

Then in the in-between of playing shows, Simon’s drum kit gets damaged in transport and he’s forced to buy a new one—so he wanders into a small, local music shop in his search. There isn’t anyone inside except for a man around his age whose far more interested in tuning a guitar than the fact that a customer has entered the sleepy shop.

Despite that, however, his smile when Simon approaches the counter is warm, friendly, blinding.

He’s extremely helpful in finding just what Simon is searching for. And maybe Simon asks a few more questions than necessary just to hear the pleasant lilt of the man’s Scottish accent.

Simon certainly doesn’t complain as the man helps load the parts into his car, either. But the interaction during is rather… odd, given his career.

That isn’t to say bad, however. Quite the opposite, in fact.

“So… whaddya need the kit for? You’re clearly no’ a beginner.”

“I’m in a band,” Simon replies easily. Usually, it’s that sort of statement that ticks someone off to who he is.

Yet instead of that flash of realization, the man just barrels forth, “Really? What’s it called?”

Simon tells him. And there still isn’t a hint of recognition.

“Haven’t heard of it,” the man says, not unkindly. “I’ll look it up, though. I don’t really listen to music.”

Simon blinks. He’s more than aware his face has probably contorted into some bizarre, astounded expression, as he notices the man’s smile falter for the first time since it had been plastered on.

“You work at a music store,” Simon says.

The man raises his eyebrows and glances back to the shop, mock surprise etching into his face. “Well, shite. Never noticed tha’.”

After a moment they both fall into easy peals of laughter, and Simon finds he doesn’t mind when the man seems to lean into him when another fit of giggles washes over.

Nor when the man presses a fist to his shoulder when they’ve both, finally, caught their breaths.

“Y’ken I can work here without listening to music,” the man says. “I just play it instead. And obviously I’m aware of the classics.”

Simon bites his cheek to tame the threat of a smile. “That so?”

The man nods solemnly. Simon’s smile breaks free the moment one is growing on the man’s own face as he holds out a hand. “I’m John, by the way.”

Simon accepts and shakes. “Simon,” he offers. “Do all your customers have to earn your name, then?”

He glances pointedly to where a name tag might typically sit for such a place of work. Though, granted, the rest of John’s outfit doesn’t quite scream uniform, either.

“Only my favourites,” John teases. “And by favourites I mean highest-paying with really nice brown eyes.”

Simon snorts. “Specific.”

“Very.” John grins. “I think you might be my top contender, actually.”

Unfortunately their conversation is cut short when they both hear the shop’s bell ring as someone else walks in, left only to quiet goodbyes and a promise see each other again in some future. Despite his craving to continue talking to John forever, Simon is still just as happy with what he’d managed.

He’ll make certain to see John again. He will. Especially after Tommy teases him about an unusual skip in his step as he unloads his new drum kit.

Maybe he, too, could get a happy ending.

-

(part 2)

#this got out of hand #anyway do u guys want a part 2 bc i might. i might write that #writing #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #soapghost #alternate universe #drabble #ghost x soap #band au

[yeraskier]

There's something almost calming about watching Jaskier when he orgasms. It's always so loud, and intense, and powerful; it leaves no room for anything else.

It's as if his body is absorbing every bit of chaos that surrounds him until he can't take it anymore, and then he simply... releases.

Geralt's had the pleasure of experiencing it many, many times now, and it always has the same impact on him, if not stronger each time. It's addictive, makes him wish that he could spend all of his days, every day, his only purpose in life being to bring Jaskier to orgasm.

And it's possibly making the person in the room next to them homicidal because this would be the seventh time tonight that they’ve banged on the wall, and shouted insults at Geralt and Jaskier for being too loud.

Jaskier’s chuckle turns into a gasp when Geralt slips out of him— the slide slippery, the sound lewd.

Geralt grunts as his body hits the mattress, finding that he's aching in the way he always does after several rounds with the bard. Very few people can tire him out, but it is no surprise that Jaskier manages to be on that short list.

"Outstanding as always, dear witcher."

"Hm."

"And verbal as ever," Jaskier teases as he sits up. "Your ability to be so nonchalant and quiet after sex with me is becoming quite offensive, I must say."

"This is how I normally am."

"You had a lot to say an hour ago when I had my lips wrapped around your cock."

Geralt shrugs, "I was inspired."

Jaskier rolls his eyes, but there’s a playful glint in his eyes as he sits up and begins searching for his pants.

Geralt admires his back (and his backside) as he moves, eyes trailing over the—

Wait…

Wait.

Geralt doesn't panic, okay? Living the life he lives, he doesn't have that privilege, but right now, laying in this bed as he watches Jaskier get ready to leave— fuck, he might be panicking.

Because Jaskier never leaves after sex, not since after the first few times, at least. And yes, he isn't necessarily obligated to stay, but he always does, and so does Geralt, and now he isn't.

Why?

Why is Jaskier not talking him into cuddling right now?

Why is Jaskier not attempting to get him into the now-cold bath in the corner of the room?

Why is Jaskier not going on one of his very detailed post-sex rants that Geralt pretends to despise, even though they both know he gets invested each time?

Why is Jaskier not falling asleep right now? Hogging up all the bed space and stealing the blanket while using Geralt's chest as a pillow?

Geralt remains as still as possible, barely twitching out of place as Jaskier pulls on his doublet. He may not feel normal about this, but he can sure as shit act normal, even if it isn't normal.

"Alright, darling, I'm going to go fetch us some water. Be back before you can miss my presence too much," the bard announces, throwing a wink over his shoulder before practically skipping out the door.

The words settle him, but only for a few moments before he's ready to panic over something completely different because why did he care so much about Jaskier possibly leaving?

Sure, Geralt has become almost as fond of the after-sex things as he is of the sex-sex things, but he doesn't need them. He won't break down into tears without them.

Except...

That's sort of exactly what he was ready to do just now.

Okay, maybe Geralt wouldn’t have cried, but he definitely would’ve bothered… upset, even.

And he knows this because even with the knowledge that Jaskier is coming back, even knowing that Jaskier only left so he could make sure they both stay hydrated, Geralt is, in this very moment, bothered.

Which isn’t good. At all.

Because the last time he got bothered by someone leaving, it was Yennefer. And he was only bothered because.

Well.

But that wouldn’t make sense, would it? Because Jaskier leaves all the time. He leaves Jaskier all the time. They part for months on end, and Geralt lives.

So what if Geralt has begun to notice that it gets a little harder to willingly go every time they part ways?

So what if his mood during the months where Jaskier isn’t around is shittier than usual?

So what if his mood when Jaskier is around is better than usual?

That doesn’t mean anything. Sex puts most men in better moods, that doesn’t mean he’s in love with the bard.

Not that feelings would mean love. Because a little crush doesn’t equate to love.

Not that Geralt has a little crush, or any crush of any sort. Because he doesn’t. Because he can’t.

Because what they have now, friendship and lust and comfort, is the best thing that has happened to him in a while, and he will not ruin that over catching feelings, of all things.

He doesn’t have feelings for Jaskier, so he can’t ruin anything.

“I don’t have feelings for Jaskier,” he says aloud, into the empty room, but the words feel heavy on his tongue.

I can’t have feelings for Jaskier.

“I don’t have feelings for Jaskier,” Geralt says again, but this time, it comes out as a growl.

Please, don’t let me have feelings for Jaskier.

“I do not have feelings for Jask—”

The door opens, and Jaskier walks in with a wide smile, and that spark of electricity that follows the bard wherever he goes bursts in behind him.

Jaskier takes easy steps towards the bed, and it’s like he’s moving in slow motion.

Geralt desperately wants to run. He doesn’t.

He remains still as Jaskier sets down the pitcher of water, and the cup in hand, and fills it up to the brim before turning to Geralt with a disarming gaze.

The rim of the glass in Jaskier’s hand is pressed to Geralt’s lips, and the witcher takes in the sight before him.

Those wide blue eyes, and that disheveled hair, and those pouty lips— he realizes that he could probably draw every single feature of this man’s face perfectly without even looking, and he’s never drawn a day in his life.

I can’t.

“Well?” Jaskier says, “drink up.”

Geralt parts his lips, and Jaskier’s eyes drop, and Geralt’s heart thuds so loud, it seems to echo throughout his entire body, and Jaskier smiles wide, as if he heard it.

I do.

Fuck.

#i hate this so fucking much #like the idea was there and thats the only reason its being posted but the execution is making me gag #writing really is like a muscle or whatever the saying is #clearly ive lost some of my pizazz but i will work to get it back #sorry :( #but i might make a part 2 #idk like i already had more planned out but it got too long and this was supposed to be a ficlet soooooooo haha.... haha #i just ended it right there with geralt realizing bc i love to torture you guys clearly .... #jk the part 2 really will come this time since i already know what i wanted to do (if you guys want it) #this was mostly to just write something just to Write because ive missed writing sm #the witcher #jaskier #geralt of rivia #my writing #geraskier