#i mean i can only imagine what happened. i went down so quickly...

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Clownfall: Endgame

I am calling it that in the full knowledge that batshit things may yet happen, but listen. Listen. We have a year left before the general election. I am hedging my bets and assuming all that comes in that year will be Tory manoeuvring ahead of that. Let's all hope for a nice quiet year in which everything can fall neatly under that banner, that won't ruin this naming convention.

Previous Reading

Important Terminology - Required Reading

What is a Whip?

How do Whips work?

Shadow Cabinet

Front Benchers, Back Benchers and the Cabinet

What do we need to call an early General Election?

The Adventures of Big Dog the Clown - Suggested Reading

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Elanor’s Guide to Liz Truss - Suggested Reading

Character-based prequel

The Premiership of Liz Truss

The Next Steps - Suggested Reading

The post-Truss contenders

Bye Matt

BoJo Resigns as MP

Alright, that's probably everything. Just nice to have it all in one place, innit? If you would like a nice soothing soundtrack to your reading, here's my recommendation. On with the show!

Clownfall: Endgame

Wednesday

So, let's start with charismatic and charming Home Secretary Suella Braverman! You may remember her from such hits as "Quitting before she could be fired after breaking the law only to be rehired by Sunak almost immediately and without consequence to appease the right wing nutjobs in the party", and "Claiming Pakistani men have a culture that makes them work in abuse rings to target vulnerable white English girls" (I should add that, if you are unfamiliar with Suella Braverman, regardless of what that quote implies, she is not, in fact, white); recently she made the news because she announced that being homeless is a "lifestyle choice". So true, Suella! They could give it up any time they wanted. They could, for example, get together and break in and steal your fucking house.

But in particular, here we're focussing on her recent stance towards the multiple huge pro-Palestine marches that have been taking place in London. So far she has indicated that she wants people who wave Palestinian flags to be arrested, so that's very measured and rational of her; but, last Wednesday (Nov 8th), she decided to write a lil opinion piece in the Times all about how mean and biased and liberal the police are. This is an absolutely fascinating assertion to I suspect literally anyone who has ever been involved with the police. But no! Quoth Suella, aggressive right-wing protesters are "rightly met with a stern response", while "pro-Palestinian mobs" are "largely ignored".

And, she claims, the march on Saturday isn’t simply a cry for help for Gaza, but an "assertion of primacy by certain groups - particularly Islamists - of the kind we are more used to seeing in Northern Ireland".

Imagine how well all that went down.

Thursday

You are underestimating how that went down, because it emerges that Suella deVille did not, in fact, get any form of validated sign-off or permission from Number 10 before squirting her ill-informed liquid horseshit all over the front desk of the Times news room, and that, Tumblrs, you'll be surprised to learn, is actually quite an important and compulsory part of criticising the police when you are the Home Secretary. Like, there is a Ministerial Code about this. It is very clear. It is in Article 8.2, Tumblrs. Thou Shalt Have Permission From Number 10 Before Making Media Interventions.

“The content was not agreed with Number 10,” a spokesperson for Prime Minister Rishi Sunak told reporters, referring to the prime minister’s Downing Street office. The ministerial code is clear that any ministerial media interventions need approval from No 10.

-AlJazeera

And the Tories are furious! The bloodbath forms quickly and loudly and the hounds start baying! Clown noses are flying everywhere! The factions are drawn! Because even now, there are Tories too stupid to understand that whether you agree with someone or not they still have to follow the rules! Also the other parties realise they can offer some actual opposition here, given that Suella has essentially dragged a barrel into the middle of the House of Commons dressed in a fish costume, handed around a set of loaded rifles, and then crawled inside to wait. The result is that the calls for her resignation are both deafening and pleasingly cross-party.

"(This is a) dangerous attempt to undermine respect for police", says Labour's shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper. "(It's) irresponsible," says London mayor Sadiq Khan. "The PM's weakness when it comes to standing up to Suella is the most shocking thing in all this," claims a senior Labour source.

They're wrong, of course. The most shocking thing is Liberal Democrat leader Sir Ed Davey realising he can actually appear in the paper if he plays this right and so surfaces to attempt some politics. "(Sunak) must finally act with integrity by sacking his out-of-control home secretary!" he declares, frightening many MPs who had forgotten he was even in the room with them.

Meanwhile, several Tories approach the BBC anonymously.

"The home secretary's awfulness is now a reflection on the prime minister. Keeping her in post is damaging him," says one. Another straight-up describes her as "unhinged". Another claims the comparison with Northern Ireland is "wholly offensive and ignorant", and really, all of this is permanently triggering that "Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point" reaction image.

Saturday

Hey, speaking of reaction images, look, Labour has a go:

Well. They tried.

BUT! Do you want to know the INTERESTING bit??!

Enter: Nadine Dorries! Mad shrieking pink harpy who spends her days maintaining a BoJo shrine in her bedroom! Always the most hinged of politicians, let's see what she has to say.

Former cabinet minister Nadine Dorries claimed Ms Braverman was trying to get sacked to give her a platform of martyrdom in service of the right-wing. "The competition is on now for who is going to be the leader of the opposition," Ms Dorries told the BBC.

???!??!?

PERTINENT POLITICAL OBSERVATION FROM DORRIES?!?!?? The most shocking part of this whole affair. Remember that time she yelled at a journalist during an interview about Boris Johnson's latest scandal when he asked her how Johnson was feeling about the whole thing and inadvertently implied they were having an affair when No One Asked? God, wonders never cease. She's even acknowledging the Tories can't win the next GE, look. I'd say this is growth, except I am 100% positive she's just being catty about BlowJo being fired again.

Anyway, the real Saturday issue: it's Armistice Day, and there's a pro-Palestine march planned.

Now, to give context, Armistice Day has a creepy level of patriotic state-worship attached to it in the UK. Some time in October everyone on telly suddenly starts wearing a poppy, and if you don't you get hanged, drawn and quartered by (a) the British press, and then (b) a baying mob outside your living room. You most be performatively sad. You must perform reverence and hero worship and say things like "Never again" all while whole-heartedly supporting current wars. You must talk about "our brave boys", and share the works of dead poets from the trenches, and then completely fail to absorb any of their lessons. If anyone tries to wear the white poppy to distance themselves from the current political appropriation while still commemorating the millions of conscripted casualties, you accuse them of being "woke" and pissing on the worthy dead of WW1. It's a whole thing, and politicians love using it as an excuse to point fingers and mock each other for being insufficiently patriotic if they wear the wrong tie to the ceremonies, or choose to walk with actual veterans rather than a head of the current army, or any number of other things. And then on November the 12th they'll order a drone strike or something.

So, off the bat, you can see how a pro-Palestine rally on the same day was likely to be seen as provocative to some.

"Some" included Sunak! He didn’t (publicly at least) ask the police to ban the protest, but did call on organisers to call it off, claiming the choice of date was “provocative and disrespectful”, because as I say, a march calling for the ceasefire of a genocide is super disrespectful to every sad dead poet in a trench who dreamed of a ceasefire so they could live, or something.

But the inevitable therefore happens, which is that far-right activists agree that it's disrespectful, and so decide to violently target the march to show their respect for the idea of peace on Armistice Day, or something.

Here's the planned route by the organisers:

Note, though, that the Armistice ceremony happens at the Cenotaph - visibly nowhere near the march. These two events actually wouldn't have overlapped, if it weren't for far-right protestors deliberately linking them to stop them being disrespectfully linked, or something.

And that's exactly what happened. From the Guardian:

Perhaps the most striking incident, though, was when far-right protesters charged past police who sought to hold them back from the Cenotaph. In this video, a man shouts “this is fucking our country” in celebration. Whereas the pro-Palestine march had been excluded from the area as a precaution, the far right was not; by overwhelming the police, they supposedly sought to defend the site from an enemy that simply wasn’t there.

(that's quite a good article of the whole thing, actually, I recommend giving it a read.)

Crucially to the clown show, though, several politicians and others accused Suella deVille of emboldening the far-right, which... well, several of the far-right protestors straight up said was the case on the day, so hard to disagree, really.

Rumours of a reshuffle in Whitehall circumnavigate the land so fast the truth gets sucked into a tornado and is declared MIA.  Here's the thing! I've covered a few Cabinet reshuffles by now, Tumblrs, you know the drill. Reshuffles are always deniable until they actually happen – so if, say, a reshuffle was going to happen on Monday 13 November 2023, there’d be no need to publicise it in advance. That way, if things change and politics happen, you don't need to retract anything :)

Because, remember: reshuffles are always controversial.  Yes, some people get demoted, and those people will often kick off, and some people who don't deserve it get promoted, and lots of people kick off.  But the big thing is that a lot more people get overlooked for promotion.

His most ardent supporters would say that Rishi Sunak is a cautious man (if you'll allow me a moment to express my own view on the matter, Tumblrs, if you'll forgive this crumb of personal opinion amongst my otherwise impeccable journalling of greatest integrity, I once did a teambuilding task with my students where they had to build the best possible bridge out of uncooked spaghetti and pieces of marshmallow, and I personally would liken the structural integrity of his spine to the losing team's entry), and reshuffles will spread a lot of disappointment to Tory MPs who lose – or fail to gain – a cabinet position.

So, all in all... regardless of Suella's idiocy...

There's no guarantee of a reshuffle. Rumours are just that - whether they prove to be true or not remains to be seen.

Week Commencing Monday 13th November, 2023

New week, new challenges! And it's going to be a big week this week. On Wednesday (tomorrow, at time of writing), three big things are going to be announced, and these announcements will colour everything else this week:

One.  The Supreme Court decide whether the government will be allowed to enact their plan to send some migrants claiming asylum in the UK to Rwanda, a signature Braverman plan that human rights campaigners (including many in Rwanda) have been trying to block for ages.

It’s a massive deal anyway – a flagship government idea that’s been bogged down in the court, and we’ll finally have an answer one way or another.  For what it’s worth, the Tories aren’t confident about winning it, either.  The optimists among them reckon it’s a 50/50 chance, the pessimists reckon it’s 70/30 against, so it's iffy at best.

But here's the thing!

Plenty of Tories have always disliked Suella.  Others could handle the odd outburst she has, but can’t stomach the sheer number of them lately - the Lib Dem non-entity man was absolutely right that she is rapidly growing out of control and just does not know when to shut the entire fuck up.

Which means! If the Supreme Court allows the Rwanda plan, Braverman could become emboldened, like a far-right protest injuring police officers to defend the cenotaph from people who are nowhere near it and have no interest in it.  Do we want an emboldened Braverman?? Well; no, obviously. I also don't want dysentery, or rotten meat, or a serial killer in my neighbourhood. But it's a question even Tories are asking themselves, which is notable.

Plus, even if the court allows it, there will still be months of planning, and lawyers might still prevent the plans in the long run...  But psychologically, the issue is this: the government wants this win, but probably doesn’t benefit from Braverman feeling victorious.

Two.  We’ll get inflation figures.  The government promised to halve inflation, and it seems likely they’ve managed this.  Expect them to massively celebrate this, to distract from the promises they haven’t kept e.g. waiting lists in England, competent governance, etc.

Three.  Voting on a ceasefire in Israel seems likely for Wednesday.  It’s the SNP’s idea, and it won’t affect government policy (they won’t support a ceasefire – they claim it’ll empower Hamas).

But it’s a big deal for Labour, even more so than the Tories.  A Shadow minister has already resigned over the war.  A bunch of frontbenchers want a ceasefire, but that isn’t Keir Starmer’s policy, a man who is calling for the colours of the Israel flag to be shown at sports matches to show that "we stand in solidarity with Israel", because you can really count on Starmer to fuck up everything he touches.  So what do they do?  Abstain?  Claim they had a prior commitment??  We might see more resignations, basically.  Big day for Starmer.

So! With all that in mind...

Monday

8.43am

Oh look. Timestamps are back. I wonder if that suggests anything?

Suella Braverman is sacked as Home Secretary.

But! Sunak is accused of waiting too long! Which he demonstrably did!

He should have made the decision after the illegal article that she shouldn't have written and triggered a far-right rally on fucking Armistice Day.  Instead, remember that 'cautious' descriptor I talked about?? He waited until the tide had turned against her completely, and now looks like he (a) was too much of a useless wimp to fire her until he was sure people would still like him and pat his dick and tell him he's a Good PM, and (b) only fired her because he caved in to that appalling lefty liberal cabal that somehow these days includes the Metropolitan Police of all fucking people, and she'd have been able to stay otherwise.

Shout out to the best comment from Reddit:

u/nowonmai666: Doesn't she normally get sacked on a Friday so she can have the weekend off before being reappointed?

Anyway, that's the big risk now: Braverman’s supporters can claim she was only fired because Sunak caved in to the left.

8.56am

Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns claims Sunak only sacked Braverman because he caved in to the left.

9.00am

Neil O'Brian, Pharmacy Minister, quits to live out his stated dream of being a back-bencher with less power.

*sus*

9.09am

Nick Gibb, Schools Minister, quits to live out his stated dream of being more diplomatic, or something.

*sus*

9.42am

The Lib Dems decide to build on the success of their leader getting to be on telly for his one comment on Thursday and call for a general election.  Says Ed Davey: “It was the Prime Minister’s sheer cowardice that kept her in the job even for this long. We are witnessing a broken party and a broken government, both of which are breaking this country.”

Good job! They're having such a good few days.

Anyway remember the Tories don’t have to have a general election until December 2024, though, thanks to the Fixed-term Parliaments Act (2011), which was passed by the coalition government of Tories and, um, Lib Dems.  In which Ed Davey served for three years.

Hmm.

9.43am 

James Cleverly (remember him?) returns to the Cabinet and is appointed Home Secretary. The party attempts to appear trendy by experimenting with emojis:

This appointment is probably because Tory strategists wanted him in a domestic role to help the party’s chances in the next election; as Surprising Political Pundit Nadine Dorries told us, of all fucking people, the race is now on to lead the opposition.

But hey, this is not likely to lead to any more changes -

10.03am

FORMER PRIME MINISTER, BREXIT-TRIGGERER AND PIG-FUCKER DAVID CAMERON BECOMES FOREIGN SECRETARY

!!!!!!!!!!!!

And look! Another emoji! They're so hip!

(Side note... the balls on this one are astounding, actually. The UK political system has been in chaos ever since Cameron, and he was the first domino. This is not a well-loved former hero that will be greeted warmly by the unwashed masses.)

Awkward though, since just last month Sunak claimed that we’d lived through “30 years of a political system that incentivizes the easy decision, not the right one.”  It would be a terrible shame if a journalist was to ask David Cameron whether he agreed with the Prime Minister on that, given that Cameron’s job is to support the Prime Minister now.

Especially since Cameron took to Twitter last month to explicitly criticise Sunak for breaking the Tory promise to deliver High Speed 2.

(Cameron tweeted this criticism last month.  Labour MP Angela Rayner however promptly retweets it now lol suck a dick Dave, but try a human one this time)

Also, fun fact, Cameron has just come out of a large-scale lobbying and corruption scandal. Given the state of Sunak, though, that's actually probably what got him the job.

BUT!!! Here's an even funner fact: the man is not an MP. He left politics after he accidentally triggered Brexit and then it came out he'd once face fucked a dead pig's head while it was held on the lap of another Tory; he's been living it up in the lucrative world of after-dinner speaking, as these people do.

So can you do that?? Can you hold a Cabinet position if no one at all has voted for you??

Yes, turns out.

Don't be alarmed by that, though:

But, convention holds that anyone who becomes a Cabinet member while not being an MP needs to be a Peer - that way, if they do bad and naughty things, they can't be held accountable by the House of Commons but they can be held accountable by the House of Lords. Only problem is, Hameron is not a lord...

10.13am

The reshuffle, bafflingly, continues. Jeremy Hunt will remain as chancellor.

For the first time since 2010, the top four positions in government – Prime Minister (Sunak), Chancellor of the Exchequer (Hunt), Home Secretary (Cleverly) and Foreign Secretary (Cameron) – are all held by men.

10.18am

Lots of people tweeting about the historic context of Cameron’s appointment.  Here’s my favourite:

10.48am

David Cameron is given a life peerage, so his proper name now is Lord Piggledick.

10.52am

Health secretary Will Quince quits.  He wasn’t planning to stand for re-election anyway though, so this one is probably not a shock. But it's important that no one else resi-

11.04am

Decarbonisation minister Jesse Norman resigns.

...

...

...

Time for a

✨Conspiracy Theory✨

Between Quince and Norman – as well as Neil O’Brien and Nick Gibb – we’re seeing several mid-ranking ministers resign, despite being generally regarded as fairly competent.

It’s possible they were fired in private, and they’re publicly resigning to save face.  But here’s another theory.

MPs aren’t allowed to seek commercial employment for six months after resigning from the government.

So hypothetically, if you were going to lose your seat in a general election, you’d want to have resigned six months earlier so you can still get a job.

If that’s what these guys are doing, it suggests we’re on track for a May 2024 election...?

11.05am

11.12am

Remember Cameron's financial scandal? Quick background here: David Cameron was specifically vice-chair of a £1bn China-UK investment fund.

So let’s see what throwback former leader Iain Duncan Smith thinks of Cameron’s return:

“I am astonished at this appointment. It seems to send a signal to China that we are pursuing business with them at all costs and any costs. Those who have been sanctioned now feel more abandoned than at any time. Those facing genocide and persecution will feel more abandoned than at any time.”

I cannot believe I am about to say this.

But.

I agree with Iain Duncan Smith *spits on floor*

11.50am

Former Tory deputy prime minister Lord Heseltine is asked to sum up the return of Cameron, and says it’s the “clearest signal that the sort of right wing lurch that we’ve seen and the anti-European movement that we’ve seen has been put to bed, and that will get a message across to people”.

12.13pm

A Tory MP is worried that Cameron’s return will turn back the clock on Brexit and Johnson’s election.

“It is very alarming. I am predicting a softening on small boats, a softening on legal migration. I would not be surprised if the ban on conversion therapy returns.”

... Don’t threaten me with a good time.

Anyway, let’s see how the public actually sees Cameron compared with other PMs!

Yeah, not sure people will mind if Cameron’s not Boris Johnson.

12.43pm

ITV political editor Robert Peston walks past a minister of state.  The minister’s on the phone, but takes a moment to heatedly shout at Peston, “The PM just sacked me!”

I guess some days are easier than others as a journalist

12.47pm

Therese Coffey resigns as environment secretary!!!!

*choirs of heavenly angels sing*

You'll remember her of course, Tumblrs - she was one of the thugs manhandling people into the 'right' voting lobbies to force their vote on the day of Liz Truss' fracking law. Rumour has it she still has the Whip handle in her ass.

A lot of people seem to be resigning today! But don't be fooled. In almost every case, it’ll be because they were told to resign.  They’ve been sacked, but they resign to save face. A last mercy from their benevolent leader.

My guess: Tessie here is terrible at media skills, so – get rid of her before she hurts general election chances. This, too, is a pattern.

12.52pm

Rachel Maclean sacked as Housing Minister! Fun fact, numbers fans: it took Doctor Who 33 years to make it to eight Doctors, but since the 2019 election, the Tories managed eight Housing Ministers in just under 4 years

trololol

1.15pm

Jeremy Quin quits as Minister for the Cabinet Office.

1.37pm

Times Political Editor Steven Swinford reports that No 10 is struggling to find a new housing minister (owing to rumours the job is cursed). Several people have turned it down, including Jeremy Quin. It is incredible to me that they didn't line someone up before sacking the last guy.

Kemi Badenoch and Michael Gove are apparently unhappy that Rachel Maclean was removed from the role. I for one do not care about the opinions of Kemi Badenoch or Michael Gove.

2.04pm

Health Secretary Steve Barclay becomes Environment Secretary.  This is effectively a demotion for him. It is our 5th Environment Secretary in four years. Chasing that Housing Minister record! It took 19 years for Doctor Who to have five Doctors

2.15pm

Richard Holden appointed new Conservative Party chairman.

A 2019-intake Tory MP, he led the charge against Sir Keir Starmer over Beergate, which did damage Starmer a bit (albeit not much, given that it turned out Starmer had complied with lockdown regs, and the accusation was nakedly to try and distract from Partygate).  So this appointment looks like more strategy to win the next election - someone not known enough to be hated, with what passes in the modern Tory party for a proven track record.

This could be a sign that the Tories intend to at least try to shore up the Red Wall votes? As unlikely as the Tories are to keep those seats.

That said, Holden’s seat disappears in a boundary change next election, sooooo … we'll see what they do there.

2.24pm

Victoria Atkins appointed Health Secretary, replacing Steve Barclay who’s moved to Environment Secretary. She's a relative unknown but also considered actually competent. Massive middle finger to Steve Barclay

2.37pm

Laura Trott (formerly in pensions) promoted to Chief Secretary to the Treasury.

2.42pm

Science minister George Freeman resigns.

3.18pm

YouGov conducts a snap poll: is the appointment of David Cameron as Foreign Secretary a good decision or a bad decision?

Good decision: 24%

Bad decision: 38%

Don't know: 38%

So that's going well

3.24pm

Greg Hands is made a business minister after losing the Tory chairman role.

John Glen moves from chief secretary to the Treasury to become the Minister for the Cabinet Office and Paymaster General.

3.39pm

With Cameron being a Lord now, he’ll be based in the House of Lords rather than the Commons.  The most recent Cabinet Minister to be based in the Lords was former Brexit minister Lord Frost, who did weigh in on the matter:

“[T]hough I was not running a whole Department too. I don’t think it works well to have a lead Cabinet Minister answering questions and defending their Department solely in the Lords. The Lords is not a fully party political environment - nor should it be - and voters are owed proper political scrutiny. In our system, that can only happen in the Commons.”

I cannot believe I am about to say this.

But.

I agree with Lord Frost *spits on floor*

The SNP had already called this out, with MP Stephen Flynn claiming, “The UK is not a serious country.”

4.21pm

Conservative MP Lee Rowley appointed the 16th housing minister in the past 13 years. Even counting David Tennant twice, that's more than all the Doctors Who we've ever had, and that took almost 60 years.

5.16pm

Sky News’s Tamara Cohen reports that Sunak sacked Braverman by phone this morning!  Downing Street says there won’t be any exchange of letters between them - this is almost unheard of. Politics runs on paper trails! Everything happens through formal letters! By phone!

It means we’re denied insight into their differences.  But Cohen reckons we’re likely to hear from Braverman on Wednesday, as the Supreme Court rules on the Rwanda scheme.

6.03pm

Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns, former Education Minister, submits no-confidence letter in Rishi Sunak.

It's almost like, in the absence of Dorries, she's decided that someone needs to step up and have a tantrum and that someone might as well be her. It is, actually, an extremely funny letter, as these letters go. Normally they're written with a sort of furious earnestness wrapped in formal language. I presume that Andrea Jenkyns MP, former Education Minister, was aiming for something similar, and the first paragraph manages it. But by the end you sort of start to wonder if this was supposed to be a letter she wrote with her therapist to get her feelings out:

My favourite line, when pulled in isolation, is "Yes Boris Johnson, the man who won the Conservative Party a massive majority, was unforgivable enough."

Yeah, Andrea babes. You're bang on there.

6.05pm

Esther McVey is appointed as Cabinet Office minister.  Not a full cabinet member, but she will attend cabinet meetings.

This is notable: unlike a lot of today’s appointments, she’s on the right of the party.  Her role will be to represent the government on TV and radio as much as possible, talking about gender/culture/British colonial history issues (i.e. she’s anti-woke and a screaming bigot).

In other words, with Braverman gone, McVey is an offering for the populist right of the party to try to appease them.

6.15pm

Sunak tweets about the new cabinet, claiming they’ll make “the right decisions for our great country, not the easy ones.”  So it looks like that’s the new slogan, and we're pressing on with austerity

6.27pm

Tim Loughton, a Tory MP on the “One Nation” wing (i.e the David Cameron side) responds to Andrea Jenkyns’s letter of no-confidence by tweeting:

“Where can we submit a letter of no confidence in the Pantomime Dame?”

(It’s Andrea he’s publicly referring to as a pantomime dame there. A lil joke from the Tories for you)

6.31pm

Paul Scully sacked as minister for London. Didn't know that one was a position.

9.43pm

Sunak says that only a two-state solution will allow a new future for Israel/Palestine.  This is, um, not what the Prime Minister of Israel wants.  Who knows whether the Prime Minister of Israel will survive this crisis anyway – but these are big words from Sunak.  Cameron’s influence? Maybe? Interesting either way

10.03pm

And then - PLOT TWIST!!!

According to ITV political editor Robert Peston, a senior government source reveals that Cameron was approached on TUESDAY. 

Which means plans were underway to get rid of Braverman not only before the far-right violence on Saturday, but before her anti-police article on Wednesday.  It seems she lost her job not because of what she said about police after all; but because she claimed homelessness was a lifestyle choice.

Well well.

11.05pm

And the day finishes with Andrea Leadsom back in government (as Under Secretary of State for Health and Social Care) which nobody saw coming!  Pretty demeaning to the other 300 Tory MPs who could have been given this.

The final response from numerous Tories: they are feeling jilted and insulted because David Cameron being brought back when he's NOT EVEN AN MP, RISHI suggests that they themselves are not good enough to be in government.

No one tell them

#politik #clownfall: endgame

[hazbinhazmeinachokehold]

The gang + powerful overlord reader who is trying to reform

A/n: Tbh I don't have the strongest grasp on what makes an overlord an overlord but I tried. Everything here is platonic!

Warning: Very slight alluding to suicide. It's in one sentence and not supposed to be about suicide but I just wanted to warn y'all in case.

(Not beta read!)

You honestly didn't want to be an overlord. But if you had some power maybe the citizens of hell would leave you alone. And you were admittedly powerful. Which wasn't by your own doing, just like in the living world everything was down to luck. And you won the lottery. So you decided to spend the money and became an overlord. Just to lower the chance of demons pestering you.

It worked. It worked too well. You took out a few overlords, it was dirty. You caught them off guard in the middle of going about their life. You don't keep up with politics. To your surprise, you took out two heavy hitters. Which did result in people not pestering you. But not just that it resulted in them outright avoiding you. You didn't feel good about killing them, you just killed as many as you thought would need to make you noteable. If you had just killed the two it would have removed more unnecessary deaths that you caused.

People would literally light themselves on fire rather than be near you. Out of fear of what gruesome way you would kill them. Not that you would kill them but rumors spread. It went from you just stabbing the overlords to torturing them in the most messed up way possible. You being this insanely powerful and sadistic being. That was the only way they could imagine you killing some of the most powerful creatures in hell.

So it was like that for years. As you were walking around the death and carnage you didn't mean to cause. Amidst all the screams you heard a TV playing. You check it out and it was some sort of ad. You recognized Angel from Val. Whenever Velvet was the one to show up at meetings she would always manage to bring up her and the other Vee's social media presence. Which with Val would involve his pornos. At least he's able to escape from that prick sometimes. Despite the glitch he was somehow causing and his face being hidden you also recognized Alastor.

You didn't know much about your colleague's personal lives. You barely showed up at the meeting but this piqued your interest. But it was quickly cut off by the news.

"Breaking news in hell today!" One of the broadcasters, Katie, spoke, "We have just received word from the Heaven embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before!"

Well fuck you guess. You were never worried about exterminations. Not only did you have a safe area then none of the angels seemed to visit, if they killed you you'd be out of this dumpster fire. Granted you could go to an even worse dumpster fire but you didn't know that for sure.

But you were interested in whatever that first ad was for. Granted everyone was panicking so it wasn't like you could ask anyone about it. However, the news cut right back to the ad.

"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!" A woman with an x over her eye spoke.

It cut to Husk (Who you've only heard snippets about from Alastor.) and Angel.

"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel." Husk's eyes lingered below him. Clearly reading a script. If his eyes didn't give it away his monotone voice certainly did. "Can I help you with anything?"

"I've been a bad boy. And I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place." Angel moaned. There was a slight sigh coming from behind the camera. Okay ew. You were not trying to see porn while going for a walk. Just as you were about to walk away Angel spoke up again, "On the path to redemption!"

Oh! That sounded... quite nice actually. You didn't exactly believe in the idea. But a chance to get away and even a chance to redeem yourself was a very nice idea.

You went to the hotel's door and racked against the door. Which was kind of stupid. Hotel doors don't need to be knocked on but it still felt like the right thing to do. The fucking princess of hell herself opened the door with a somewhat panicky smile plastered on her face.

"Hello-" She bit her lip "One second." She left but left the door open a creek, "Vaggie it happened again!" She yelled you could hear the rest of what she was saying but you saw a red glow approaching the door.

Before you knew what was happening your hand (and whole body was being shaken by the Radio demon himself, "Why hello y/n!" His staticky voice greeted, "Are you here to watch this wayward adventure fail as well? Or perhaps you aim to entertain it?" Alastor unnerved you. While you were the same on power level he was unpredicted any vengeful thoughts he had were hidden behind his smile.

He was gently pushed away by Charlie. "So sorry about the wait, just wasn't expecting another powerful overlord." She vaguely gestured to Alastor, "So do you want to check in?" Her voice was cautiously hopeful.

"Yep!"

Her eyes turned the size of saucers, "OK! Great so um sorry I'm just so excited! You can go choose your room! A few are already occupied by our guests and staff! But it's pretty easy to tell which rooms are taken." She rambled. As she guided you through the hotel the woman with an x over her eye pointed a spear at you as you passed by.

A short one-eyed girl scattered around. The exact opposite of how she was in the ad. She stabbed a bug with a whole knife getting dangerously close to Husk being at the end of her knife in the process.

Angel glanced at you and any color his already pure white face had drained. Uh oh.

"One minute." You said and walked over to the spider demon, "Fyi just to let you know I also want to kill Val. Just say the word and I might finally be able to go through with it." You said in a hushed voice. He was still tense but visibly relaxed.

You soon found a room and got somewhat set up. You'd have to bring some stuff from your house tomorrow. But today you decided to just collapse onto your bed. While your first impressions weren't of a super chill place, it did give the impression of a family. Maybe your life wouldn't be so much of a living hell here.

#hazbin hotel x reader #charlie x reader #charlie morningstar x reader #alastor x reader #angel dust x reader

[ohbabydollie]

Imagine Schlatt being super horny for his heavily pregnant wife after they’d haven’t had sex for awhile…

😮‍💨😮‍💨 this ask made me feel things

You always feared pregnancy.

You didn’t mean to it’s just that the idea of being pregnant, all the things that could go wrong, etc. Not to mention the fear of your husband losing attraction for you, but it seemed the opposite for Schlatt.

Instead of feeling no attraction after you got pregnant, during the first few months he went feral. He was all over you 24/7, using it as an excuse to not use condoms at all, whenever you seemed emotional he would give you head and say something about you “needing to relief stress” and more.

Schlatt used any excuse he could come up with so he could to be on and inside you.

It eventually calmed down when you had been around 26 weeks pregnant. Sex that would happen daily had become 3-4 times a week, most of the time schlatt just eating you out or fingering you before leaving to jerk off.

You assumed that his attraction for you was fading, when in reality that was far from the truth.

Schlatt’s attraction to you has only grown since you’ve gotten more pregnant. From seeing you smile and hold his hand at an ultrasound to seeing your tits grow heavier over time.

It honestly scares Schlatt how much he wants you. He doesn’t want to exert you, especially with how tired you’ve been these days, so he’s stuck to cold showers and on really difficult days, jerking off. It’s hard to resist you, especially when he’s eating you out or fingering you and feeling your warmth wrapped around his fingers, tightening up around them as you finish.

He finds you borderline impossible to resist. Especially now, when you’re in a cute sundress you bought a few weeks ago.

It shows your tits and belly off just right, but Schlatt can resist.

When you put down a bowl of fruit and jambo goes running to steal a blueberry, he knocks over your bowl.

“Jambo!” you scold picking up the cat before handing him to Schlatt.

He watches, grabbing the cat as you accidentally push your boobs up against each other causing the neckline to deepen and show more than you intended before returning to normal once you handed jambo over to Schlatt.

Schlatt can resist.

“i gotta go clean up the fruit he dropped” you complain walking over to the kitchen, bending over and picking up the few pieces that fell out.

fuck, your ass looks great

fuck, the soft pout you have on your face

jambo soon jumps off the couch and goes meowing at you, almost apologetically. You coo at him lovingly, picking him up like a baby once the fruit is cleaned up.

fuck

Schlatt’s imagination is going wild, already imagining you with a second and third child. He can’t fucking hold back.

he can’t resist

It’s mere seconds before he’s taking you to the bedroom. Schlatt is placing you down on the bed and hiking your dress up.

“you don’t know how long i’ve been wantin’ to fuck ya” he says taking off your underwear and quickly taking out his cock.

He wastes no time slipping into you, letting out a groan, “fuckkk, doll, you don’t know how much i missed your sweet little pussy”

Those words along the familiar feeling of him inside you, in what feels like forever, has you throwing you head back in pleasure. Your lips parting to let out moans as he thrusts in and out of you harshly, not bothering to hold back.

“fuck. never. gonna. stay. away. from. this. pretty. pussy. again!” Schlatt growled between thrusts

“fuck! c-calm down!” you moan out, holding onto his broad shoulders “i‘m sensitive!” you whine as Schlatt pays no mind to your words, instead rubbing your clit.

“great, then i can feel ya cummin’ ‘round my cock faster”

#schlatt x reader #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x y/n #schlatt x y/n #schlatt x you #jschlatt x reader smut #jschlatt smut #schlatt x reader smut #schlatt smut

[savannahsdeath]

As a lil ellie request, would u mind writing smth about reader being mad at ellie bc she was a little reckless on patrol and got hurt, so she dosnt let ellie touch her while she rides her? <33

this is my first request and i absolutely love it so how could i say no 🤭

ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

summary: ellie was reckless during her usual patrol so you decided to give her a lesson

warnings: 18+!! smut, strap (r!receiving), wound, mean!reader, begging

writers note: i actually love this idea sm?? also dear anon sorry if its not something you expected but its just how i imagine that:3

You were waiting for your girlfriend to come back from patrol, just like every day. Except today she took her fucking time.

The sun has already set, so instead of waiting in the couch, as usual, you decided to go to your bedroom. You knew you won't fall asleep, not until she comes back. You needed to see she's safe if you want to sleep peacefully.

The door's opened.

You heard her entering the living room, surprised you're not there.

"Babe?" She frowned.

You quickly ran up to her. You were already mad she came home so late but after seeing her you were truly pissed of.

Her jeans were rolled up, exposing her leg covered in messy-bloody bandages.

"What the fuck happened?" You almost yelled, kneeling in front of her and unwrapping it.

"I might get bit." She said with a shrug, like it's a normal thing. "They almost killed Jesse, so I covered him. Ya know, he's not the immune one."

You went to the bathroom to get fresh bandages and alcohol to clean the wound. The bit was small, it (whatever 'it' was) probably barely touched her. You quickly started patching her up.

"So what, just because you're immune makes you think you can risk your life?" You chuckled mockingly.

Her leg stung from the alcohol and it took all of her efforts to not groan out in pain.

It was almost more frustrating that she was so nonchalant about it. Like, you knew she didn't care about herself, she rarely ever did, but her putting herself in harm's way because she's the immune-whatever was just annoying. You wanted to yell at her and drag her into the house and never let her out again, but you also didn't want to sound like a controlling jerk.

"Aww, are you worried about me?" Ellie smirked. You rolled your eyes at her response to your concern. She always liked to push your buttons, and this was only one of times she does it.

You finished cleaning and patching up the small bite on her leg, and the wound looked almost healed. You went back to the bathroom to to throw away the used bandages.

You leaned over the sink, splashing some water in your face and gathering your thoughts.

Maybe you overreacted?

Suddenly, when you looked at the mirror, you saw Ellie standing behind you with her hands wrapped around your waist. Her breath tickled the side of your face as she pressed herself against you.

You felt the bulge in her pants and your eyes widened. There's no way she was wearing it at the patrol, but then again, when did she manage to put it on?

"I can make it up to you." She whispered.

You couldn't completely give in. She deserved a lesson and you doing whatever she wants would have the opposite effect. Still, you couldn't resist her now, could you?

Before you could push her away, she kissed you. Her lips were so possessive, like she's intentionally making you as breathless as possible, so you won't manage to speak - you won't manage to say no. The truth is, you didn't want to say no. Not to her.

She was slowly pushing you towards your bedroom, which was (luckily) opposite the bathroom.

She pulled away to let you catch your breath only when you were sitting on her lap, not able to move because of her strong grip.

After she unbuckled her belt, she lied down as you sat on top of her. She gave you one of those 'you know what to do' looks.

And that was the moment your bratty attitude came back, as you remembered how reckless your girlfriend really is. Of course you craved her strap, but you wanted to somehow make her regret her stupid antics, so you decided to take it your way.

She was the type of person that needed to touch you. Going on a walk? - Her hand is either on your waist, back pocket of your jeans or tangled with yours. And while you're fucking she had to hold you. Even though just the sight of you is enough to make her go insane, she could never keep her hands away from you.

This time wasn't an exception but you wanted it to be.

You spared yourself all the little games and you started riding her instantly. Gripping her hips for balance, rolling your eyes back and moaning her name.

For her, you looked like the most precious thing in the world right at this moment. She just loved seeing you fuck yourself dumb on her cock.

Her hands started desperatly touching your body, as if to make sure this isn't a hallucination. But you quickly pulled them away.

She had no idea what your point was, she narrowed her eyes and frowned. Suddenly she smirked as she remembered your previous 'argument'.

"Don't tell me you're still mad." She chuckled breathlessly.

Usually you'd try to be as quiet as possible, embarrased by how Ellie can make you feel. This day you were anything but quiet, hoping to make her mad.

"I may be." You moaned out.

She closed her eyes, loudly exhaling, as she seemed to think about something.

She tried touching you a few more times, not successfully. You were holding back a laugh at her confusion.

"Don't be like that, I know you love my touch. Just let me... It would be a win-win situation." She tilted her head, staring at you taking the whole strap without her help. At this point, what you did was cruel.

"Are you seriously so mad at me for this little bite that you're going to make me just helplessly watch?" She continued, her each word sounded more and more exaggerated.

"What, can't stand it?" You said mockingly, continuing to whimper.

"Of course I can't fucking stand it!" She covered her face with her hands as looking at you made it worse and she wasn't able to just look away. Her hips were thrusting, just a little, as she hoped you won't notice.

You couldn't hold back your laugh any longer. She was really losing her mind, or at least pretending to. You couldn't tell. But it sure was funny to watch her squirm.

Your smirk grew with each response, knowing her patience was wearing thin and she would soon be begging for you. She was clearly pissed at the situation, but she wanted to play it cool at first. However, that facade melted with your each mocking response.

"Just let me touch you." She whispered, her voice becoming more needy and frustrated. "I need this."

"You know what I need?" You grinned in between your groans. "An responsible girlfriend who doesn't think her immunity is an excuse for... everything."

She scoffed, but she didn't care about the answer. She just needed you. The frustration was building up to the point where she wouldn't be able to take it soon. Her hands started pulling at your shirt as if she wanted to discretely show you she wants it off of you. She had gone mad, and you loved every moment of it.

"Please, I can't take it anymore." She moaned, her voice breaking every word with a new breath.

"There she is, starting to beg." You laughed as you pushed her hands away again, gentler this time.

Of course you didn't feel as good as you did when Ellie was helping you - there's just something about the way she guides your hips on top of her. But you had to keep your cool this time.

Her hands kept reaching for you, but you kept pulling them away. She was frustrated, and her voice was getting angrier.

"Stop playing hard to get."

It was clear she had almost reached her limit. She didn't care about anything anymore, she just wanted you.

You whimpered and teased her some more, which drove her completely mad. She was at her limit and couldn't handle it any longer.

"Please... please... please." She begged desperately, pulling at your shirt. "I'm going crazy, I need you..."

The sound of her voice broke you. You couldn't help but stop and start giggling to yourself, amused by the desperation in her tone.

But you didn't dare push the game any longer.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams smut #ellie smut #wlw smut #smut #strappon #anon #nonnie asks #thank you nonnie #send anons #reqs open #request

[anxiousnerdwritings]

I can totally imagine that, after getting absolutely no where, Jokerized!twin darling just has an Azula-level breakdown. Especially if the Batfam or God forbid Damian somehow manages to subdue the unpredictable mess. There's no way that Twin!Reader doesn't resent Damian to a degree, especially after everything he put them through... so seeing his twin brother not only be accepted but also find a family that was willing to have him? While Twin!Darling was just used and abused in some shape or form? Absolutely breaking down!

Twin!Reader wholeheartedly holds an immense amount of resentment towards both Damian and Talia. I really like the idea that Twin!Reader was more akin to being that of a normal child born outside of a family full of assassins than to acting like one who was. Like, Twin!Reader was on par with Damian when it came to the proficiency of their training but the mentality just wasn’t there for them. They couldn’t just aimlessly kill, they couldn’t just walk away with someone’s blood on them and not feel something. Not only that, they just weren’t emotionless to any degree like how their mother and brother so easily were. They laughed, they cried, they felt fear, they felt hurt. Like, I’ve had this scenario in my head for a bit of there being a thunderstorm or a blizzard and Twin!Reader seeking out Damian because they’re scared, they sneak into his room and they just want comfort. They just want to be together with their twin brother in their moment of need. And Damian begrudgingly allows it cause they won’t go away no matter what he says but he still makes comments about how weak they are for something as ridiculous as a storm to have them acting like this and that the Reader better be out before mother finds out. I especially like this kind of scenario being what Twin!Reader holds onto when they need something no the better side to look back on. It didn’t happen often, nor did it come without berating, but there were a few moments that Twin!Reader had with Damian that they’ve held onto, that they’ve cherished.

I also really like the idea of Talia having tried to kill Twin!Reader behind Ra’s back, leaving them for dead only for them to survive and that’s where we go from there. I think it really adds to the whole familial betrayal thing and gives more to the Reader eventually going off the rails, especially as they’re in search of somewhere to belong, for someone who willingly and genuinely wants them for them. It makes it even more of a surprise and gut punch respectively for Damian, Talia, and Ra’s when the Reader pops back up. Especially, after being Jokerized.

All their life, Twin!Reader as been used and abused in some way, shape, or form. And even after being Jokerized that’s all they’re met with. Even if it isn’t to the same extent it was with Talia and Damian, these new people the Reader is trying to find belonging in all have ulterior motives. They want to use the Reader against Batman (or one of the other main people the Reader’s been associated with), they want something to have and hold over Batman’s (or whoever else’s) head. That’s all it is, at least in the beginning. Eventually these people do come to have some amount of care for the Reader but by then it’s too late and the Reader is in the wind and on to the next one.

I do really love the idea of Damian and Twin!Reader sharing their love for animals. I especially love the thought of the Reader’s first pet/companion being a hyena Joker and Harley (probably just Harley) gifted them after their initiation into the Clown Family. That hyena would mean the absolute world to the Reader, as far as the Reader was concerned it was their first friend and the first thing that ever stayed around for them. Wherever the Reader went, so did it. I love the thought of the hyena being protective of the Reader, sticking close to them for both security and comfort. The hyena very quickly becomes the only thing that Twin!Reader truly cares about anymore. Not to mention, there’s no doubt that after everything Twin!Reader’s been through before and after being Jokerized they have constant nightmares, even some night terrors, and the only one there for them is their loyal hyena. It’s there to curl around them protectively, to give them a warmth they’re not used to and a sense of being looked over that they’ve never felt before. I can even see the hyena bringing the Reader snacks to remind them to eat and take care of themself.

I can really see the Jokerized!Twin!Reader being thrown into an all out breakdown if their hyena died, especially if it died protecting them (whether from the batfamily or some rogue rando). That was their only friend, the only thing that truly ever cared about them and now they had nothing anymore. They had no one. They were lost all over again. If any of the batfamily members had anything to do with the Reader’s precious hyena’s death there would never be any forgiveness. If someone else were the reason for the hyena’s death than the Reader wouldn’t think twice about killing them and getting revenge for their beloved companion. Either way, no matter who caused the Reader’s hyena’s death I can see the batfamily all trying to subdue them from enacting any revenge on whoever. No matter how feral and berserk the Reader is in the moment, no matter how hard they fight, how hard they hit, I see Bruce, Jason and Damian especially not letting go of them. They hold the Reader the entire time, unrelenting in their grasp no matter how hurt they get in the process. If the Reader is as unrelenting as they are then they’ll have to knock them out. From there the family will take Jokerized!Twin!Reader home, where they’ll be safer, where the family can watch over and be there for them.

After their breakdown, there is no way in hell, Damian and Bruce especially will be able to go on with the Reader not being with them. Seeing how absolutely destroyed they’ve become, how much of a broken husk they’ve been turned into after everything they’ve been through, Damian and Bruce can’t allow anything more to happen to their sibling/child. No matter what it takes, how long it takes, Damian and Bruce aren’t giving up on Jokerized!Twin!Reader. They will save them, they will put them back together again. They will be the family that the Reader should have had all along.

God forbid if Ra’s was there to see his precious grandchild breakdown like that in front of him. Damian and Bruce be damned, he’s taking them home with him and Talia will be thoroughly dealt with for her part in all of this, in destroying his pride and joy.

#anxious answers #yandere damian wayne #yandere bruce wayne #yandere batfamily #yandere ra’s al ghul #yandere dc concept #yandere concept

[visualbutterflysworld]

Meet my girlfriend | VHackerr

While on stream the chat hears you in the background and begs to met you.

love you vin ! this is for my black girls frfr but only a section

“AH FUCK!” Vinnie hears you scream. He would’ve hurried to your aid but he’s frozen because he’s streaming. With you being so loud the chat hears you. Vinnie’s eyes shift to his monitor partly afraid and partly intrigued

“Who was that?”

“Was that a girl!?”

“WHO WAS THAT?”

“Vinnie you’re cheating on me!?”

“Ahhh! I knew he was dating someone!”

Vinnie licks his lips as he can’t come up with an excuse. He sighs heavily before he starts to talk. “That was my girlfriend. Who screamed.”and that’s when the chat blows up. He sees the views ranking up which means he’s probably trending on twitter not even 5 minutes after he said that.

“Babe!” Vinnie yells for you. You come quickly, standing in the doorway with a confusion look as you know he’s streaming. He relaxes in his chair as he looks at you with a lazy smile. “They heard you. The chat wants to meet you.” You widen your eyes. “Oh! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know I was that loud.” You put your head down in disappointment.

“It’s okay, love, please come say hi.” He smiles even harder as you slowly make your way to him. You glance at the chat. You see so many comments.

“HE CALLED HER LOVE”

“SUCH A WARNER MOVE”

“AHH SHE SOUNDS SO SWEET AND INNOCENT”

“SHE SOUNDS LIKE SILK”

“AHHH”

“Say hi.” Vinnie says as you look unsure. “Can i stay out the frame?” You ask and Vinnie nods, honestly glad he could keep what you look like to himself. “Hi, chat.” You say shyly. “This is my girlfriend guys. Should we give her a nickname?”

The chat floods the comments section with ideas and names. “Mm. Buttercup? I like buttercup. She acts like her from the power puff girls.” “I do not!” You yell! Vinnie laughs as he looks at your little pout. “She does too! Don’t let the cuteness fool you!” Vinnie smiles as he sees more questions pop up.

“Okay, baby, you wanna play lighting round? Answer real quick and short?” Vinnie asked before looking at your almost bare legs. His imagination going off the rails. “Sure.” You put your arms behind your back.

“What’s your age?”

“I’m 23!”

There were a few comments about you and Vinnie’s age gap but hey it could be worse.

“Occupation?”

“I’m a journalist.”

“Favorite color?”

“Depends on my mood. I like sage green, lilac, blue and light pink. Sometimes green and yellow.”

“How long have you and Vinnie been dating?”

“Almost five months!”

“Favorite physical part of vinnie?”

“His smile. He has one of the most beautiful smiles.”

Vinnie couldn’t help but smile. “Compared to her’s mine is pure shit.” You hit him and that’s when the comments blew up more.

“SHES PAC?!”

“BEEN KNEW VINNIE LIKED BLACK GIRLS”

“TWITTER IS FINNA FREAK!”

“VINNIE GOT HIM SOME SPICE!”

“BEEN WAITING FOR HIM TO GET A PAC GIRL!”

You laughed at all the comments. “Yes, I’m black. Thank you guys for noticing.” Vinnie snorted. “Now everyone can shut up about what I like.” You rolled your eyes as you continue reading the comments. Some were unfriendly but it didn’t faze you too much. It was an inevitable thing to happen.

“Well, everyone, I liked chatting with you all but I want to go lay down now so bye!” You waved and make your way out of his room. “I’ll be there in a little bit babe!” Vinnie called out. “Alrighty!”

Well, that went better than you could hope.

#vincent hacker #vinnie hacker #vhackerr #bwwm couples #bwwmromance #oneshot #love #lovers #vinnie hacker x reader

[forusomimiya]

𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣’𝕤 𝕒 𝕔𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕕

⚜️𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘮𝘴𝘣𝘺4!𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘱 𝘹 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

⚜️𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵

⚜️𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 1,4𝘬

⚜️𝘤𝘸: 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘥𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘯𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦, 𝘥𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢. (¡𝘔𝘐𝘕𝘖𝘙𝘚 𝘋𝘖𝘕𝘛 𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘋 𝘐𝘛!)

You don't remember how you ended up here, or maybe you do, but you don't remember what led you to make this decision, what went through your wonderful head making you think this would be a good idea.

Because it wasn't just good, it was the best.

A couple of drinks after your first face-to-face game with the team, glances and approaches, brought you, the rookie manager of the black jackals and the four worst men you could have ever met, to spend "a little good time" at your hotel.

It wasn't the first time they got together and talked about how you flirted with each of them or how you enticed them to have a quick, sneaky encounter in the locker room. What they didn't know is that while they were getting hard talking about you, you were in your room cumming on your fingers more than three times in a row, imagining an orgy with them.

And there you were, rejoicing and getting what you had wanted to happen for months.

"Little whore in heat... if you're going to keep looking at me like that while 'm fucking that mouth, I swear I'm going to make a mess on yar pretty face. And I don't think Sakusa likes it when someone messes up what's his, do you Omi-kun?" Atsumu's words are choppy with each thrust and with each touch of his tip at the end of your throat. His muscles begin to weaken but for his life, he will not stop until he has accomplished his goal.

"Just shut your fucking mouth and keep going, Miya. It keeps getting tighter every time you go in deeper."

"Ignore him Atsumu. Down here I can see how he enjoys every praise you give her" you only have a second to switch from focusing on Atsumu's cock to Hinata's and Sakusa's, both alternating to hit your fragile spot and making you moan long and hard as you gargle with Atsumu's cock.

"Holy fuck, so pretty like that… drooling all over my cock…” you moan in pain as you open your mouth wider. Your jaw will remind you tomorrow. "Awww… it hurts… Easy doll, I'll cum in no time and your mouth can rest. But first let me torture ya some more." His hips slam faster into your mouth, causing you to gag and your throat to itch, before you start to tear up.

"Hah, she's already in tears. Poor baby… maybe three cocks aren't enough for her. Maybe ya should slow down your movements, Atsumu…. What do you think? I'd like to have her mouth intact for a while from now" deaf ears to the words of Bokuto, who stands to the side squeezing the base of his cock and stroking the tip, mesmerised by the movement of your tits bouncing back and forth. Atsumu's hands on the back of your neck force you deeper into him, and even though it's your first time sucking him, you know what it means, so you look up and confirm your intuition when you see his eyebrows draw together and his mouth form an "O".

"Ahh keep crying… keep crying for my cock… nngh f-fuck! Keep it up, keep it up!" Quickly the thick, warm liquid runs down your throat and you can only continue to watch him, biting his lip as he is consumed by pleasure and continues to spill now onto your tongue. You swallow, frowning at the bitter taste. It's not pleasant, but fuck, you're a slut at sex, and you like to show it off.

"Damn… you swallowed it?" You nod and lick the remainder left on your lips, sobbing and whimpering because even though your mouth is now empty, your pussy is still filled by two cocks. "Good girl" you smile as he strokes your head, enticing you to close your eyes and appreciate his sweet touch. Atsumu could change his ways with you whenever he wanted.

You were fascinated by the way he was sometimes gentle with you in training, giving you his attention and care. Giving you advice on how to improve or cheering you up when you were down. Other times, he would catch you off guard from behind when no one was watching and he would fawn in your ear about what a good girl you were when you offered him water or towels to wipe off your sweat. He always said he'd thank you later, but it never happened. Until now.

Men who have you dripping, panting and cursing bring you back to enjoy them.

"M-more please… want more, so good…" Sakusa squeezes your hips and increases the strokes, obeying your pleas, grunting with each time you clench around him.

"Fuck… gonna fill this fucking pussy to the last drop. You're taking me so well that i think i wanna do it again…" but you can't take any more. The support of your arms on the bed trembles with each thrust, and the speed and joy of feeling the friction of both cocks in you doesn't help. "Just a little more kitten, just a little more…". You moan louder and louder and beg to go faster, though Hinata, slowly torturing you and dismissing that option, continues to enjoy every inch of your pussy opening up for him, willing to spend the time needed.

"P-please… faster… more - faster."

"Sshh be good for us baby, just have fun and keep squeezing for us, yeah? We promise to fill you up real soon kitty, just a - little bit - more."

You nod unconsciously. You can't stop thinking about how badly you want to cum all over them. And fuck, Bokuto hasn't even touched you yet, and you crave it, you need him to humiliate you and reward you for how well you're behaving. There's still time to enjoy him.

"I can't take it anymore… need her now." Bokuto steps in front of you and from his position you can see what he wants to do, so you stick out your tongue and wait.

"Hah, did you see that? She's as desperate as we thought. Didn't you get enough of mine that now you want Bokkun's?" you look sideways at the blond, who chuckles and grabs you by the chin, moving you in his direction and ordering you. "Now, open up."

The next thing that happens, comes very quickly.

You don't lose eye contact with Atsumu as he drops a trickle of saliva into your mouth. Bokuto, too aroused by the scene with the blond, and by the two partners warning that they are close to cumming, points in the direction of your tits and without control over himself, regretting it, is the next to do it. The warmth of the fluid and how dirty it makes you feel, makes you come and brings you closer to orgasm, with no interest in alerting the men who, by the pressure on their cocks and your uncontrolled leakage, know what is going on.

"Ahh fuck, she's cumming, she's cumming! hah- so tight…" Hinata is next to follow you, letting his cum leak out of your pussy and drip onto it, leading Sakusa to hopelessly let himself go.

"Yeahh, i love it… so wet… you're all mine, you hear me? Fucking mine" Emptying himself completely as he admires how underneath his cock white liquid is still oozing out, possibly a mixture of all three.

You take a few seconds to breathe, still on top of Hinata, who smiles at you as she lies slumped on the bed. You smile back with what little energy you have left, and thinking about it, you miss feeling full again, and underappreciated, in some ways. You think about what you're going to do, but then you remember that you've come here to play, and that you have a side to you that they haven't known yet, and you have to put it into practice.

When Sakusa and Hinata have risen from the bed, you crawl to the end of it and kneel down, staring at them one by one and waiting for them to know what you want. Bokuto seems to be the only one who notices your intentions, which leads him to smile at you for it and approach you with the same.

"Coming for more?" You nod cradling yourself against his hand as he caresses your cheek. Bokuto and the rest can't stop devouring you with their eyes. It was no wonder; a mess covered in tears and semen, with teeth marks at your neck and finger marks on your buttocks. More than one couldn't help but take a breather to get back into bed again.

"We didn't think we had such a docile manager…" Atsumu's voice, sitting behind you, prompts you to lean back against his chest, letting out small gasps, satisfied with the result. You are ready for round two.

"We'll care you for a while longer, if that's what you want."

•

•

•

•

•

@planetmarz

A.N.: Okay, is this an open ending TO A SEQUEL? I don't want to deceive myself but, I would love to do a sequel. I'm not very satisfied with the result, cause I think I'm not very good narrating a situation, and I'm better at making short scenes, so… I'll have to see how much appreciation this short fic has and consider making a last and second part 🫡

#haikyuu smut #haikyuuheadcanon #hq smut #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x imagines #hq headcanons #sakusa smut #atsumu smut #bokuto smut #hinata smut #msby smut #hq msby #msby atsumu #msby sakusa #msby bokuto #msby hinata #msby x reader #msby black jackal #haikyuu msby #msby four #msby headcanons #atsumu x reader smut #sakusa x reader smut #bokuto x reader smut #hinata x reader smut #atsumu x reader #sakusa x reader #hinata x reader #bokuto x reader

[chochuuya]

scenarios with tr boys!

that i hc suit them best.. part 2! (≖ᴗ≖ ✿)

note: there are only four scenarios in here, to read more go to part 1 ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞

characters included: shinichiro, draken, inui, baji, mitsuya, hakkai, kokonoi, kakucho, taiju, ran, kazutora, chifuyu, angry and takuya

imagine that your scooter or motorcycle died just when you’re on the way to s.s motors.

he always manages to turn your luck around, though. the fact that he would go a literal extra mile to come and help you— he’s just that kind of guy.

right now, he’s laughing at your defeat of trying to go further and pushing the vehicle with him.

he flashes a charming grin at you and lets you sit while he pushes. since when is he this strong?

“alright, hang on tight.” he takes off his jacket, playfully tossing at you. “keep that safe for me?”

what an annoying flirt.

SHINICHIRO, draken, inui

two beds.. or does the universe have other plans for you both?

“we’re gonna freeze to death.” he hits the air conditioning unit once more for good measure.

it relentlessly continues to create an artifical north pole into the motel room as he shivers and your teeth chatter.

you both could go home but.. your only transport (his motorcycle) went out of gas and it’s midnight.

he looks down at you, laying in your own bed with the covers pulled up to your chin. he gives you an apologetic look, as if this is all his fault.

“maybe we could conserve body heat?” he suggests. there’s two beds, but maybe one was the better solution.

you quickly nodded as you reach out your arms for him without a second thought. the cold was too much.

he climbs into your bed, his body instantly hugging you tightly, his arms wrapping around your back without hesitation as the blanket drape over your figures.

“n-next ti-time, we should bri-bring extra money when we go out!” you say as you quavered.

“noted.” he chuckled.

BAJI, mitsuya, hakkai

he spends money like water. for you especially.

this is the twentieth gift he has sent, except this time it’s from the man himself.

it had been a week since you two had a fight and you hadn’t spoken to him.

he’s been sending you gifts that you received but didn’t respond to, so this time he decided to come himself.

“can we talk? i want to apologize, okay? i’ve been meaning to all week but, i don’t know how.” he says when you finally open the door.

you take a good look at him, debating with yourself before deciding.

with a defeated sigh, you allowed him to enter your home. “okay, come on in..”

“thank you,” he says, smiling at you.

“now please tell me what i can do to make this right.” he pauses and then asks, “do you want another gift?”

you shake your head. “i don’t want another one, i just want you to be with me.”

his smile widens as he steps closer to you. “and i want to be with you too.”

“i know we’ve had our ups and downs these past few weeks, but i know we can make this work. just give us a chance.”

he gently takes your hand and presses it to his lips, kissing it tenderly.

girl.. you better forgive him, only you can make him this smitten for you.

KOKONOI, KAKUCHO, taiju, ran (more specifically bonten ran.. he gives me sd vibes)

the line in the store was unusually long and your legs are starting to turn to jelly.

when it is finally your turn to pay for your purchases, you were out of it for some reason.

“thank you for waiting, ma’am. i apologize for any inconvenience.”

you had to stare at the cashier for a good few seconds. you rarely come across men looking this good, you thought before snapping out of it.

“huh?”

“sorry for making you wait.” he smiled.

you just nodded, pressing your lips together feeling even more embarrassed now for not hearing him the first time.

KAZUTORA, CHIFUYU, angry, takuya

please do not steal, copy, translate, repost to other sites or claim my writings as your own. plagiarism is real!

the last one is canon bcs it happened to me in uniqlo.. it’s gonna haunt me for life now (⭑•͈ 𓎟 •͈ ) all likes & reblog are vv much appreciated! ♡♡

#🐯 luna writes #🐯 luna's fics #tokyo revengers x reader #x reader #shinichiro x reader #draken x reader #inui x reader #baji x reader #mitsuya x reader #hakkai x reader #kokonoi x reader #kakucho x reader #taiju x reader #ran x reader #kazutora x reader #chifuyu x reader #angry x reader #takuya x reader #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers scenario #tokyo revengers imagine #tokrev headcanons #tokyo revengers hcs #tokrev scenarios #tokrev imagines #tokyo revengers fluff

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

fem!reader being a voyeur when sub!ethan is masturbating while moaning her name repeatedly, and she gets really turned on. she decides to make her presence known and help him out. lots of dirty talk and praise please 🙏

thank you so much!

I hope you like this! I totally left it open for a part 2 if you want it lmao, my bad🫠

Come & Go - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: When you forgot something at Ethan and Chad's apartment, you discover that your friend thinks about you when he's alone.

Contains: Voyeuristic!Reader, oral - m recieving, male masturbation, hand job. Friends to lovers trope(yes, again. I'm so sorry but I love a friends hooking up scenario.)

A/N: Ya girl is back with the cliffhangersssss. 🙃 If y'all want a 2nd part, let me know💕

On your way to your morning class, you noticed your backpack felt lighter than usual. You soon realized that your laptop was missing, because you’d left it at Ethan and Chad’s the night before when you were studying with the two boys.

You always ran into Chad on the way to your first class, so you stood and waited for him where your paths usually crossed, hoping you’d see him. You thought about texting Ethan, knowing he didn’t have a morning class, but you noticed Chad walking your way when you were about to pull your phone out.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked, noticing the slight look of panic on your face.

“I left my laptop at your apartment last night. Can I borrow your key? Or should I text Ethan?” you asked, as Chad started to shake his head.

“Whatever you do, don’t text Ethan. He get’s so grumpy when he doesn’t have a morning class and someone wakes him up,” you laughed a little at Chad’s words as he pulled his key ring out of his pocket and slid off the apartment key. “He might not get mad if it’s you, though,” he smirked, handing you the key.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you questioned, as he put his hands up in front of him.

“Nothing, just…He has a soft spot for you,” he said, as you rolled your eyes.

“Whatever, I’ll give this back to you at lunch,” you said, turning on your heels to head in the opposite direction towards their apartment.

You kept thinking about Chad’s comment about Ethan having a soft spot for you, but you had one for him, too. You’d had a crush for the longest time but didn’t know how to talk to him about it because you were so close. His dorky little qualities were so cute to you, and he was always so playful and sweet to you.

When you made it to the front door of the apartment, you unlocked the door and slowly opened it, knowing how it can squeak if it’s opened too quickly. After you closed it, you started to tiptoe across the floor, trying to be as quiet as you could. You tried to remember the last place you had it, and after checking the kitchen and living room, the only other place was Ethan’s room.

You stood outside his cracked door, debating if you should try to sneak in and grab it without waking him, but you knew he’d probably wake up and be absolutely terrified when he noticed someone was in his room. You didn’t have the chance to think about it much longer, as you heard him start to move around a little. You took a deep breath and backed away, not wanting to seem like a total creep that was just lurking outside of his door if he happened to walk out of his room.

He didn’t though, and you started to hear him whimpering. Your curiosity got the best of you, stepping back towards the door and peaking through the small crack. Your eyes grew wide when you saw him on his bed shirtless, his sweatpants pulled halfway down his thighs, and his hand wrapped around his hard cock. He was slowly stroking himself when your bottom lip went in between your teeth at the sight.

Your panties started to get damp when his hand movements sped up, moans starting to slip past his lips.

“Fuck, just like that, baby,” he said, his eyes shut. He was obviously imagining someone, and you were curious who he thought about that way. Your question was soon answered when you heard your name.

“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself, wondering how long he’d been thinking about you like this.

Then, he opened his eyes and reached over to his phone that was lying on the bed beside him. You soon recognized the video he was playing, the one from when you and your friends had recently gone on a weekend trip. You shared a room with Ethan, Chad and Tara, and he wouldn’t stop picking on you the entire time. He snatched your phone out of your hand that day, and used his height against you as he held your phone above his head. You started to beg him for it, his name sounding whiney as it rolled off your tongue.

He'd regularly masturbated to the video, because he loved the way you sounded, and the way your cleavage was slightly exposed from your low-cut shirt. At the end of the video, you tackled him onto the bed and straddled him as you tried to get your phone back, and that was always the part that made him cum. He was a virgin, after all. It didn’t take much.

He kept stroking as you watched him, his eyes starting to close again as he listened to the way you sounded and pretended you were there with him, giving him the pleasure he was feeling. The throbbing between your legs was starting to get unbearable as he kept moaning and gasping your name the closer he got. Part of you wanted to walk in and help him out with it, but how could you explain yourself, and what if he got embarrassed? You didn’t want him to feel that way for thinking dirty thoughts about you.

He looked like he was starting to get frustrated, like he was so close to cumming but couldn’t. You felt a little sad for him, but also for yourself, because you were desperate to see him cum.

 You decided to push away any thoughts of the negative reaction he may have as you eased the door open further and walked in. His eyes shot open, and he quickly grabbed a blanket to cover himself and fumbled with his phone to pause the video.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” he rushed out, his eyes refusing to meet yours.

“So, you weren’t just jerking off to a video you took of me?” you questioned, a smirk playing on your lips as his cheeks started to turn red.

“Uh, how long were you out there?” he asked, as you started to blush. You quickly got your confidence back, though, not wanting the moment to be any more awkward than he was already making it.

“Long enough,” you giggled, sitting on the side of his bed, “Do you want some help with that?”

“No..wait, yes…,” his eyes finally connected to yours as he tripped over his words, not sure what the right answer would be.

“Which is it, baby?” you asked, your hand rubbing against his thigh as he started to pull the blanket away.

“Please touch me,” he sighed, the cool air against his painfully hard cock giving him chills.

You leaned over to kiss him first, his nervousness clear as he tried to kiss you back. He got the hang of it soon enough, even getting confident enough to fight your tongue for dominance as you made out. You let him win the fight, as his tongue moved against yours inside your mouth. When you pulled away to focus on his cock, his teeth bit your bottom lip, the action making you even more wet.

“You want my hand? Or my mouth?” He groaned at your question, because he’d thought about both, and always wondered how it would feel.

“Maybe your hand first,” he said, as you nodded and reached over, taking his erection in your hand. He looked between your eyes and your hand as you started to move, almost in disbelief that this was even happening.

"Hey, look at me," you said, your tone full of lust as his eyes stayed on yours. "Does that feel good baby?" he nodded, "Do you think about me like this a lot?"

"Always. Ever since we first met," he said, your hand speeding up a little. "You're just so fucking hot."

"Why didn't you say anything? You know how many times we could've hooked up by now?" your words made him groan, regretting not saying something sooner. "I can't wait to taste your cum."

It didn’t take long before he was whimpering, the sweet boy falling apart in front of you as he tried to hold back. He didn’t want to cum too quick, because he didn’t want to seem like the loser virgin he felt like he was, and he really wanted to feel your mouth.

“Okay..uh, can you suck it?” he mumbled out, making you laugh as you leaned down and licked the precum dripping out of his tip. “Fuck.”

You repositioned yourself on the bed so you were laying on you tummy in between his parted legs, his eyes staring into yours as he anticipated your next move.

“I’ll suck your cock, but I want to hear you moan my name again when I do.”

“Oh fuck,” he groaned as his cock started to slip past your lips that were still swollen from the heated kiss. "God your mouth feels so good."

You reached up and grabbed one of his hands that was gripping his sheets and put it on your head as you took him further back in your mouth. He wanted to grip your hair, but he wasn’t sure if that would make you uncomfortable, and he didn’t want you to stop, so he decided to run his fingers through it. You were unsatisfied with his lack of showing you how good he was feeling, so you started to hum. The simple vibrations made his hips jolt, his cock hitting the back of your throat. He grabbed a handful of your hair when you gagged around him, not too hard, but enough to make you moan.

Your name kept flying out of his mouth as his grip got even tighter, his salty precum on your tongue as he started to get close.

“Fuck, baby, you’re gonna make me cum,” he whimpered, as you took him as far in your mouth as you could, the gagging sending him over the edge. “Fuck fuck fuck,” he groaned, his eyes not looking away from you as you sucked every last drop he had to offer out of his cock.

You sat up to look at him, a grin on your face as you took in his fucked-out expression.

“That was amazing,” he said, as you started to snuggle up beside him. He laid there, trying to figure out the best way to ask you if he could return the favor, but every string of words that ran through his head had him rolling his eyes at how inexperienced he was.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked, listening to his heartbeat.

“Uh…would you be against me doing something…um, for you?” he finally got out, making you laugh a little.

“You can, but we’ll have to do it later. I need to get to my next class. I forgot my laptop earlier,” you said, as he glanced over to his desk and saw it sitting there.

“Wait, how’d you get in here?” he asked, as you slid Chad’s key out of the pocket of your jeans. “Ah, okay.”

“I really hate that I have to cut this short, but you have a class to get to as well,” you said, standing up and sliding off his bed onto your feet. “But I’m really looking forward to you making that up to me.”

He smiled at your words as you leaned down to kiss him, before grabbing your laptop and leaving to get to your next class.

The sexual frustration was looming over your head. You couldn’t wait for Ethan to take care of you. As you listened to your professor talk, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You pulled it out to see a text from Ethan.

Ethan: Chad has a late class tonight, you should come over.😘

Your pussy started to throb as you read the text, and you knew how hard it would be to keep your composure for the rest of the day, especially when he’d be at lunch with you and your friends in less than an hour.

You: Is 5 okay?

Ethan: That gives me plenty of time to do all the things I want to do to you. See you soon, baby😏

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #scream smut #ethan landry smut

[rinsaint]

MILF FUCKER <3

ft. Aran, atsumu, && iwaizumi !!

cw. legal age gap (reader is 29 they are 19), milf fucking duhh, infidelity, tit play, atsumu has a filthy filthy mouth, fucking on a yoga mat, breeding, degrading, oral, riding, spit, unprotected sex, one smack to the ass, marking, making out !!

ARAN: Aran is definitely known in the group for fucking women older than him and that are milfs. And when he gets tease cause of it by his friends, he quickly denies it saying it’s not true. Which is obviously a lie. You, his next door neighbour who happen to be older than him and have 3 kids. He took interest into you quickly because you spiked curiosity in him. Always so sweet, giggling and touching his beefy arm that he has worked hard for — fuck how could he not be attracted to you. And you were a divorced women? it was a win for him, atsumu would say. Your kids were staying with their father for the weekend and as you were making yourself coffee you noticed how you were out of milk. So you went to your next door neighbour aran to borrow a cup of milk. When aran opened the door he was shirtless and wore a sweatpants that showed his dick print. You gulped slightly. And that’s how you ended up with your face pushed into the mattress of his sheets, thrusting his cock in and out of your warm and tight cunt. You let out a pitched moan when he landed a smack on your ass making you clench around him. “Yea? you like that little slut? getting pounded into with my big cock?” You nodded your head and let out a cry as he sped up his pace. “c-cummin’ aran! m’gonna cum please.” He pushes your head down more as he slowed his thrust down but banged his hips into your ass. Each thrust he gave you knocked the wind out of you had you coming with a moan of his name. He bit his lip as you gushed around him, letting your juices soak his cock. Not long after he had came inside you. He pushes his cock real deep into you so you can feel his seed in you. So you can know he’s in you. Maybe his stupid friends were right.

ATSUMU: definitely a person who is also known to fuck women older than them that has kids. He has no shame about it either. His current interest was in you — ‘samu’s worker that worked at his food restaurant. And god were you hot. Your breast poking out of your work outfit and the pants of your work outfit making your ass look big. ‘Tsumu can’t help but want to talk to you. So he asks samu about you and he learns that you are a married women with 4 kids. Married huh? He didn’t care, it was no problem for him. So tsumu strikes a conversation with you at work and he finds you intriguing. I mean god — whoever guy that’s married to you obviously isn’t doing something right because when atsumu brings up that you’re married, you have a forced smile telling him that you’re happily married. Bullshit, he thinks. You two became closer and actually became friends. And you aren’t obvious to his flirting, and you’d never admit but you liked the attention he gave you other than your husband who comes home and never pays any attention to you. And atsumu knows that. And he knows you know he knows that. And that’s why when your husband took your children to see their grandparents for a while, atsumu is quick to come over to your house and fuck you until the only word you know is his name. Atsumu groans as you bounce up and down on his thick cock, gripping on e of your tits and sucking on your harden bud. You grip onto his shoulders letting out a whimper, “‘atsu, m’so close, need your help please!” And who is he to deny his love? He grips onto your hips lifting you up and switching the position you two were in so now your laying under him. He grabs his cock and you whisper out when he thrust back into you in one quick motion. He grabs under your thighs and starts fucking into your cunt like an animal. “Fuck baby— ya cunt squeezin’ ma so hard. ya liked getting fuck by me don’t ya? such a slutty whore. imagine what yer husband might think if he ever sees you whining and begging f’me.” At his filthy words spilling from his mouth, you bring him closer to you and grip onto his undercut as you come. He groans feelinfs the way you squeeze him and comes right after you. You’re about to get up but stop as atsumu pushes you back down on the bed. “Ya think we are done baby? nah, m’gonna fuckin’ breed ya until yer stuffed with ma babies.”

IWAIZUMI: Iwaizumi knew you had kids and were divorced because you were a regular incomer at his workout place. Everytime you come there he helps you with a few stretches and he can tell you are stressed. As he’s stretching you, he notices something is wrong so he asks you about it. You tell him about how the kids father is still trying to fight for custody over the children and how work is kicking your ass. And iwaizumi tries to pay attention he does — but when you let out that high pitched groan when he pushes your leg down to your chest, he gulps as he’s making eye contact with you which feels like forever. He could honestly get lost into your mesmerising eyes. He let out a cough and adverted his eye contact. He puts your leg down and says you two should take a break. You grab onto his arm telling him to wait, he looked back at you and is surprised to feel your lips on his. And god does he grip your cheek so fast and press his lips into you more to deepened the kiss. He pushes you down slightly on the mat and takes his shirt off. It’s all so quick, just minutes ago he’s stretching you out, the tension thick, and now he’s having a taste of your cunt that he’s been thinking about. God this was so unprofessional considering he was at work doing this, but he didn’t care, all he cared about was you and the way you taste. He pulls away from your dripping cunt and gives you a kiss on the cheek as you whine. “Hold on baby, m’gonna give you the real think mhm.” He said, as he pulled his short and underwear down in one quick motion. He spits in his hands and slowly jerks himself and lines his cock up with your entrance. Your grip onto his shoulders and whine when he pushes his thick cock inside of you. You pull iwa down into a kiss as he pulls out again and slams into you. You wrap your legs around his torso as you moan into the kiss, fuck he was so close but he wanted you to come first. He put his thumb on your clit and roughly rubbed circles on it making you clench around him. “baby fuck, m’gonna cum f’you please!” You whimpered out and came around him scratching and arching your back. iwa lets out a groan and pushed into you as much as he can and came inside of you.

#the little bit of writing for aran on this app is unbelievable 😰😰 #man is so fine i need him in my mouf #rn now!! #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu smut #haikyu smut #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi haijime x reader #iwaizumi hajime smut #atsumu smut #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya smut #atsumu x reader #aran x reader #aran smut #aran haikyuu #aran ojiro #aran ojiro x reader #aran ojiro smut #them <3

[vernons-girl]

Hey girlie! I just read 2 of your works and I really really liked them ❤️

Since I saw your requests are open, can I put one forward?

An angsty one with Mingyu. Female Reader loves him but he loves her sister.

Hope you have a good day.

Thank you 😊

not her | kim mingyu x fem!reader pt.1

PART 1 ; PART.2 ; PART 3 (final)

(could be gn!reader tho)

angsty, wc:1.3k

a/n:hi love!! I hope you'll like it, it may not have been what you had in mind but yeah.. I could always go deep in the drama in part2, who knows haha. have a nice day too!!

You had known Mingyu for a few years now and he had quickly became one of your closest friends.

I mean that's what you tell him and every one of you guys' friends because you can't tell any of them that you've had a raging crush on him since forever.

I mean how could you not ? Aside from his good looks, Mingyu was kind, fun, caring, loving, everything you could dream of in a boyfriend.

You liked him so much that you decided to bring him to have dinner alongside your close family, in hopes that your sister could help you in figuring out if the feelings were mutual before you could even consider making a move on him.

It's not that you thought you were unlikable. No. Far from that. You weren't. It's just that you thought perhaps, you guys were just really good friends and that, even worse, maybe he just saw you as a little sister.

But this was your way of figuring it all out. So you put on your best outfit (without overdoing it, I mean what a way to be suspicious-), you did your hair and makeup and took a deep breath. Looking at your phone, Mingyu should be there in 10 minutes. You couldn't help but feel a little nervous. To your family it was just a nice friendly dinner with one of your pals, nothing crazy, that has happened before. But you knew. And so did your sister.

Speaking of which, you heard a knock on your bedroom's door followed by the appearance of her face in the tiny crack of the opening.

"Hey gorgeous" she says entering the room, looking at you up and down. "You look amazing, he is totally gonna fall for you" she affirms while rearranging your hair.

"But what if he doesn't like me?" you voiced out your worries about the possibility of a one-sided crush.

"Then that's his loss!, she says, Imagine not liking this, she gestures at your figure, he would be so dumb!" The two of you chuckled.

"I'll get him on your good side, don't worry," your sister nudged your shoulder with a playful look on her face, making you laugh.

The sudden noise of the doorbell brought you back to reality and you took a deep breath.

"You've got this, your sister said with a smile.

- I've got this" you repeated confidently.

To say the evening went great was an understatement.

Mingyu showed up with flowers, wooing all the women - and even some of the men - with this and his unmissable charms.

He's a very friendly person, that goes without saying, so he got along with everyone that night, winning over the elders by volunteering to clean up, not just helping, no no, he did it all himself.

'What a good future house husband.' that's what you thought, but little did you know, you weren't the only one.

After Mingyu left, you rushed to your bedroom to have a debrief with your sister.

"Sooooo?" you asked genuinely curious to hear her opinion.

"So what? she asked in a teasing tone,

- So what did you think ?

- About what ? Him ? You two?

- I don't know! Both I guess?

- I mean everyone loved him so I would be lying if I said I didn't think he was a great guy.

- Thanks for stating the obvious, you replied playfully.

- You guys seem close and he cares for you, I can tell, she started, he watches over you and he's already there to give you a hand, he makes you laugh, so I mean if he isn't into you, I don't know what it's like when he has a crush on someone, she laughed.

- So you think he has a crush on me?? you asked excitedly,

- Hm, he might." she assures.

This statement made you giggle like a teenage girl who just got her first boyfriend as you started planning ahead how you would make your crush known to him to see where all of this goes.

"Anyway, we should sleep, let's talk about it later yeah? Make a plan? your sister said,

- A plan? Haha okay whatever" you reply softly as she makes her way out of your room to hers.

You got ready for bed and as you got under the cover you couldn't help but think 'Gosh I love him.'

It had been a few weeks since Mingyu came over and you've been trying your best to make your crush obvious to him on your sister's advice.

You've became more touchy, you set up hang outs that look a little too much like dates minus the label, you walk alongside him with your one of your arm looped in his, and even without all of this, the look in your eyes when you look at him doesn't lie.

Now, you guys planned on getting food together in three days from now, nothing too much, just a cozy restaurant you guys wanted to try after seeing pictures of the food they served online. However, you wanted to make this big and perhaps finally confess your love to your friend that very night. And that's why you decided to go to the mall to get an outfit specially for the occasion.

You browsed through a few stores but nothing really caught your eyes so you decided to take a short break at the food court. Maybe if nothing seemed good enough to you, you should ask your sister, right?

So you called her, no response. But a few texts :

'Sorry I'm out with friends'

'It's a little noisy. I think I won't hear you'

'What's up'

You sigh and type :

'I wanted you to help me shop for an outfit :('

To which she replied :

'Sorry luv, send me pictures and I'll tell you what I think,kay?'

After sending her a simple 'kay' you put your phone down and took the time to look around.

As usual there were loud groups of teenagers, even louder families, couples, Mingyu... Wait Mingyu???

What was he doing here? On one hand you didn't want him to see you and risk him to find out you were looking for an outfit for him but on another hand you wanted to come up to him and have a "friendly" chat.

You were now standing up, fighting an internal battle in your brain as your gaze was fixed on him.

That was until you saw him turn around with not one, but two drinks in his hands. Fuck why did he have two drinks when he was on his own? Your question was quickly answered as you saw a girl walked up to him, grabbing one of the drinks from his hand.

You looked at her, I mean her back since she was facing away from you, she had a great figure you couldn't lie but why did her sweater look so familiar ? It looked like the one your sister always borrowed from you, you didn't know it was a common item but hey at least she had good taste you guessed.

But it seemed like hell had frozen over as the girl linked her hand with Mingyu's free one, kissed him on the lips. Your hopes flew away instantly, but what you crushed your heart into thousands of pieces was seeing your sister's face as the girl turned around to face you.

She couldn't see you, neither could he. But you saw them. You clearly saw them.

The betrayal burned your throat, your eyes watering, hands shaking, the beating of your heart kept accelerating, you felt like your were going to consume within.

All this time, she had been hiding this from you, lying to you. How did this happen? When? Why?

Why couldn't it be you at his side? But also why did it have to be her?

Why did Mingyu not tell you about this? Did she tell him not to say anything? Had she told him about your crush on him and told him to play along with it? Had they team up against you?

At that moment, you lost everything.

Your friend. Your sister. Your hopes. It all turned to dust.

You were likable. You just weren't her.

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen reactions #seventeen x reader #mingyu #mingyu imagines #mingyu scenarios #mingyu x reader

[anundyingfidelity]

TRAINING SEASON — Jensen Ackles

Summary: After a tumultuous relationship and a hard break up, you get trapped in between your co-star and a casual one night stand. But there's nothing you regret about.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x female reader, actress!reader.

Word count: 1,076.

Warnings: implied sex like the morning-after-sex, nudity, some sexy time but no full smut, friends to lovers, language, idk just wrote this quickly.

Notes: AU where Jensen is obviously single, and reader is like 38 in my head don't asky why I like this number, I still have no idea. And I just love, and I mean, loooveeee getting obsessed with hot men over 40, can you tell?

>> disclaimer: i totally respect the private lifes of the actors and celebrities i use for my fanfictions, and of course their personal relationships. this is only fiction written for fun and nothing more.

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

Opening your eyes, you stirred on the soft bed and noticed your sorroundings. This wasn't your hotel room. Your bare body hidden under the blank, messy bed sheets reminded you of yesterday's events. You smiled.

The other side of the bed was warm. His body pressing against yours felt perfect, and you wrapped your hand on his own, which was laying on your waist, like if he didn't want to let go of you. Your mind started remembering his touch on your skin, the way he would kiss every inch of your stomach, the trail of kisses he left all over you, and his love bites around your neck and chest. The burning between your thighs and the soreness let you notice it was as good as you imagined it to be, even before it happened.

"Whatcha thinking?" he asked, raspy and soft voice booming in your ears.

"Mmm... Nothing, just how great you felt last night," you teased, turning your head to see his face directly. Bare skin, disheveled hair, and tired but loving eyes met you. God, he was beautiful. He looked so fucked out in the best way possible one could describe it.

Jensen chuckled and kissed your cheek. Still, he never let go his embrace on you. He looked at you vividly for a long time, scanning every feature of your face, like he wanted to save all of you in just an instant. Your brows furrowed for a moment.

"What?" you whispered.

"We didn't fuck this up, did we?"

A sigh left your lips, your hand ran on his hair softly. You knew what he meant. You had a bad relationship and an even worse break up months before you started working together, and Jensen became a great friend as you tried to overcome it. And it was so hard not to fall for him when it felt like you knew each other for decades. He was someone you could trust your deepest secrets, pain and thoughts. A part of you did not want to cry on his shoulder for days once you got comfortable around him, nor letting him know how terrible you felt at the time. But he never judged you. He just was there, listening and offering a helping hand expecting nothing back.

But your feelings changed in the course. As months went by, an amazing, caring and loving friendship bloomed between both of you. Since the project was a long new TV series, you used to spend a huge amount of time together as your characters appeared to be in a slow building relationship. And now, the premiere was done, but the press tour barely started, so that meant you were not getting away from each other in a good time now.

"No," you finally answered. "Of course no."

"I mean, I know what you been through, and I- I don't wanna ruin anything-"

"Jensen, is fine," you cut him off. His eyes locked on yours, concern washed all over his handsome face. "I am fine with this, are you?"

"Absolutely," he said. "I always was. I mean, I liked you for a long time now," he laughed a little, making you smile. One of his hands now carressing your bare thigh, feeling the heat of your skin.

Jensen leaned down and pecked your lips softly, his lips slowly found its way to your neck, kissing and biting the flesh, exactly how he did last night. He groaned, tasting the saltiness, and you let out a soft moan as he flipped you around. You laid on your back, him on top. His tongue tracing your skin, stopping right before your breats. God, you were getting wet again.

Unlucky for you, your phone started ringing, breaking the moment and Jensen, with a disappointed look on his face, gave you the space to run and answer. By the way you were talking, he figured it was your manager, so he hid behind the covers, admiring you from afar. When you ended the phone call, you walked to him. His eyes kept lusting over your naked figure as you looked for your clothes all over the room. He sadly knew you were postponing until you had enough alone time together.

"I keep forgetting we're still on press tour," you kissed his cheek softly once you put on your underwear and grabbed your clothes to get decent to leave. "I'll be going now, sorry."

"It's fine," Jensen smiled, standing up and putting up some pants. He followed you before you crossed the door. "I'll see you later tonight then, how about dinner?" he casually asked, leaning down. "And then we could probably take care of some other things," he whispered in your ear. You bit your lip, eager to know what he had in mind.

"That'll be amazing, surprise me!"

You gave him a playful wink, and taking your purse you left his room with a wide grin on your face. You were so glad you stopped dating trainees to build a relationship with. Jensen was a self-confident, expert man, and you were more than happy to give it a shot.

#jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x female reader #jensen ackles imagines #jensen ackles imagine #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fic #supernatural #the boys #jensen ackles #i love you sir

[rafesgoldrings]

Let Me Help

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x reader, Topper Thornton x reader, Kelce x reader

Warnings: potential season one spoilers??, light smut, oral sex (f receiving), blood, violence, guns, fighting, reader threatens to kill someone, suggestive ending, language, reader is a bitch

Summary: after hearing what JJ and Pope did to Topper, you decide to join in on the plan for revenge. Turns out you like seeing your boys get mean way more than you thought

A/N: since reader is said to be wearing a skirt, the outfit above is exactly the kind of outfit i pictured

Okay but imagine Rafe, Kelce, and Topper using you as bait for Pope and JJ after the boat thing. You’d all been best friends for years and while it was purely platonic, they couldn’t deny that you were easily the hottest girl on the island. So when they decide they’re going to jump them at the movies and you overhear, you step in with your own idea.

“Let me help” they all gave each other hesitant glances not wanting you to risk getting hurt. But you were stubborn and refused to accept no as an answer so they reluctantly agreed, all realizing that maybe this was actually a great idea.

JJ was easy to lure in. All you had to do was flash him a pearly smile while wearing a tiny little skirt and crop top and he was on his knees for you. Literally, on his knees eating you out in the bathroom before it got dark. If you were going to be involved, you at least wanted something out of it and JJ just so happened to be an expert with his tongue. He was so lost in your cunt that he didn’t notice the way you grabbed his bag and took the gun.

‘Stupid fucking pogue’ you’d think to yourself as your orgasm washed over you.

“That was great JJ, meet me behind the projector tonight and i’ll gladly return the favor” he nodded eagerly, standing up and giving you a sloppy kiss. You left the stall, making sure to sway your hips to really lay it in, and scanned the crowd for your next target.

Pope was a bit harder, you couldn’t lure him with sex because he was such a virginesque geek. So you had to actually use your brain and think of something that would be effective but not too obvious. You tried to remember all those times you’d overhear him at parties when suddenly it hit you, his weird fascination with becoming a coroner. Now this seemed like a weird route, but you happened to have an uncle that taught forensic pathology at the university and you could easily play it off like you were giving him a good word.

“Hey Pope” he’d walked up to the food stand to get some popcorn not noticing you at first.

He wasn’t exactly a fan of you, but he didn’t not like you either. He knew you were friends with the whole ‘death squad’ but also heard that you were incredibly sweet and crazy smart so how bad could you be?

“Oh, hey Y/N” the smile on his face was forced and you knew that, but you knew how to work your charm.

“I hear you’re wanting to go into forensic pathology, did you know I have an uncle that teaches that at the university? I could put in a good word for you if you wanted” your signature bright smile on display, head tilted slightly.

His eyes went wide when he finally understood what you said. This could be huge for him, he’d be crazy if he declined.

“Really? That would be great! Do you think there’s any way you could get me into contact with him?”

“Of course! Just meet me behind the projector tonight and we can swap contact info yeah? Don’t want anyone knowing i’m playing favorites” he quickly nodded, a large smile on his face. Sucker.

“Cool, see you around Pope” your hand brushing his arm as you gave him a flirtatious wink and walked away.

When you returned to your boys with the results, they each kissed your cheek. Kelce bowed down to you and the other two followed shortly after, the laugh you let out enamoring them completely. Now it was just a waiting game.

Nightfall shortly came, the movie playing on the screen not anything you’d cared about. The only thing you cared about was teaching those dirty pogues a lesson, and when you noticed JJ sneaking off from his friends you knew it was go time.

“Hey! Get ready boys, we’re about to have a real fun night” you hit Rafe on the shoulder before standing up, pulling your skirt down and ignoring the very obvious stares from the guys.

‘Typical’ you thought, rolling your eyes and walking towards the direction JJ went. But not before winking at Pope and signaling him to follow you, the others following behind unnoticed.

When you and Pope arrived behind the projector, JJ found it weird. He’d totally still get his dick sucked in front of Pope but like, why did you invite him there to watch? Unless you were just into shit like that, then he was all for it. Whatever got him that blowjob that was promised.

Pope was confused why JJ was there with a raging erection for a discussion about your uncle who’s a forensic pathology professor. That seems like a weird thing to be excited over, even for Pope.

But when Rafe, Topper, and Kelce surrounded them and you had a sick smile on your face, they understood they’d been set up. It was like vultures circling their pray, JJ immediately went for his bag to grab the gun and panicked when it wasn’t there.

“Looking for this?” you waved the gun in the air, your voice low and taunting.

Your boys looked proud that you managed to steal it while Pope and JJ were scared shitless. Pope, not thinking clearly, lunged for Topper which set off a chain reaction. Rafe was hitting JJ, Topper was hitting Pope, Kelce was going back and forth between the two trying to help whoever needed it. You just stood back watching in satisfaction. That was until Kie decided to join in, jumping on Toppers back and punching him to try and get him off Pope. Rafe grabbed her and threw her to the ground, you tried pushing that feeling of jealousy down but it was far too intense to do so.

“Reach for that lighter and I promise you i’ll kill you Kiara. Don’t fucking test me” Kie froze at the feeling of cold metal being held agaisnt her temple and she knew it was a gun.

She slowly stood and backed away from the bag having no choice but to watch her friends get beaten. Pope was in a chokehold, Rafe and Kelce were holding JJ back and landing blow after blow to his stomach. It wasn’t until Pope was nearly unconscious that you decided to stop it.

“Okay boys, we’ve had our fun. Can't exactly kill him here at least, let’s go home. I’m bored” an exaggerated yawn filling the air.

They let go of them and walked over to you, blood on their faces and knuckles from the punches, and the four of you walked to Topper's jeep. There was a silence that fell over you when you’d gotten in, not necessarily an awkward one, but also not very comfortable. It wasn’t until you spoke that the tension was broken.

“That. Was. So. Fucking. Hot. Oh my god i’m so turned on right now” they looked at you in shock, you were never this bold in any scenario.

“You’re so fucked up Y/N. Such fucked up little whore.” Rafe was the first to speak, turning to face you with a smirk on his face.

“You like that? Like seeing us beat the shit out of those dirty pogue pretty girl?” Kelce was the next to speak, turning around in the passenger seat to look at you more clearly.

“Didn’t know our innocent girl was so dark, how should we take care of that baby?” Topper looked at you in the rear view mirror, noticing how at some point in between then responding, you’d taken your panties off.

“How about each of you take turns with me? Show me what else those hands can do?” you had such an innocent look on your face and that mixed with your pouty lips, the sweet scent of your perfume, and your glistening cunt in the moonlight drove them crazy.

“Oh that can be arranged princess” Rafe growled, the others humming in agreement before Topper started the car and sped home.

This was going to be a very long and fun night for the four of you.

#rafe cameron x female reader #topper thornton #rafe cameron #kelce outer banks #topper thornton x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe x y/n #kelce obx #kelce x reader #topper thorton x reader #topper thorton imagine #topper thorton smut #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron smut #kelce imagine #obx smut #topper thornton x you #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #outerbanks rafe #obx imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #obx fic

[xxkiller-muffinxx]

That's my girl

John Dory x reader part 2/2

Summary: John Dory shows up out of nowhere (again), but with that he brings trouble, the trouble of the mind and the heart.

Words: 2582

Warnings: too much fluff, it hurts- also still no color coding cuz I'm lazy and when I'm writing this its almost midnight.

A/N: welp, this is longer than my usual. Yeah this is part 2 to a thing that honestly wasn't supposed to be in parts, but new years was banging so you know I had to. Little Thing, if the caterpillar snail confuses you, imagine a motor bike, I tried to word it better: but some things are just not made to make sense. Aso don't judge the gif choice man, desperate times come for desperate measures. I forgot to add tags again 😔

Previous

➷➹➷

For a while, you kept your distance again. Wondering how this all happened. How everything went downhill for you so fast. Now that you have the house to yourself you now have a lot of dead air to think about. (Your dad’s not dead, he just wanted to seek a path in white water rafting. Whatever that means.)

You silently read an old scrapbook, it was your favorite genre and you loved just sitting down and getting to the end. Especially on rainy days like these. Right as you got to the climax there was a knock on the door. Admittedly you aggressively rolled your eyes.

You closed the book and set it aside, who's knocking at this hour? Right before midnight? Your book needs reading! your fish needs walking! You don’t have a fish, you're just irritated, you can’t read your book. As you closed in on the door you stopped. What if it’s an intruder? Or worse, a monster who suddenly gained the sentience to knock! You would never know until-

“Buttercup?” John Dory’s voice shakes through the door, There’s faster knocking. “It's cold out here!”

You've never opened a door so fast in your life.

As soon as John made it inside you glared hard at him. You wanted to scold him but your silent anger was getting nowhere. He was too busy admiring the inside of your home. Then his eyes landed on you.

You breathed heavily, walking over to grab your book and then walking back to him. He gave you the same dumb, doe-eyed look he always does when he's gotten himself in a bit of trouble. You gently slapped the book on his stomach then walked to put it on the shelf. His quiet shocked laugh brought you back to the center.

You pointed for him to sit and quickly made him some hot cocoa perfect for the season. You walked over and sat next to him. Handing him the glass. “Thanks Buttercup. You mean the world to me.” He chugged the hot cocoa, just fast enough to not catch the break in your calmness traded for bashfulness.

When you calm back down, you cross your arms. Your nose flaring and your lip pouting. John looks you in the eyes, his lips pursing as he thought about a good response. “Can you blame me? You have me wrapped around your finger.” He says playfully.

Your eyebrow raises. You don’t flinch or retreat. You narrow your eyes at him. His grin falls as he catches your unwavering worry. “I uh. I just missed you. It’s been a week and I wanted to see you. At least once.” When you didn’t accept that as an answer he got a little frustrated. “I know that isn't a good excuse but what do you want from me? To let the one person I've had close in years just drop out like that?”

Your other eyebrow raised, silently asking if he was okay. Then in a moment you caught his cockiness slip. That's when you knew something was wrong. You leaned forward and looked into his eyes ruffling his hair to gain his attention. His eyes met yours and it didn't take him long to pull out a vinyl. “It's the only way I could talk about my feelings to you without being a coward.” he blushed deeply. You cock your eyebrow again then roll your eyes. You stood up and went to put it on your record player.

(feel free to listen then move on or not listen at all)

As the song plays, you listen to the lyrics, your back to John as you listen to the words. His soft voice played on the track and you could almost hear the sweat dripping from his forehead. You were too focused on the lyrics to even look at him.

Your skin, oh, yeah, your skin and bones.

Turn into something beautiful

You know, you know I love you so

You know I love you so.

Then it clicked. This wasn't him just showing you a brozone song. No, no heaven knows you listened to Brozone’s music and it's nothing like this. This is gentle and soft. Not throw yourself into a dance song, but that's what you wanted to do. Take his hand and gently dance with him.

However, when you realize that's wanted, the song is already over. You took a while to realize it, but what had transpired wasn't platonic. Not anymore. It was the bridge that led two ways. You just had to figure out which was which.

“Yeah-” John’s voice cuts you free from your mind. “It's not much, it's kind of rushed. Is that weird? That you were gone for a week and I realized I…I can't even say it out loud. I'm…interested. In you. I wanted to see if you wanted to see where this was going.”

You turn around finally, your hand covering your mouth and your otheraying across your stomach. You wondered how you probably looked crazy, but you didn't care. At least not until he pointed out what should have been obvious. You were crying.

“Buttercup! I didn't mean, oh shoot I didn't think that I'd- I'm sorry I take it back!” He gently began panicking. The pacing panic. You wiped your face and looked at your hands, sure enough you were crying. You shook your head, unsure how to tell him that you were okay, just moved by the fact he'd write a song for you.

He took that as rejection and frowned. “Yeah. Yeah. I get it. It's okay. I understand.” he was about to turn around when you grabbed his arm. Damning your inability to speak. You looked around for a piece of pen and paper. However, there was nothing. (you were not writing in your precious book.)

You were scrambling, trying to communicate, but you were only tearing up and crying more. You grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. Your eyes watery and your nose red and puffy. He looked away then looked at you. “I am so confused right now.” JD squeezed your hand in return.

You did the unexpected. In a fit of confused, misguided, and intolerant anger. You grabbed his face and kissed him. Right then and there. When you pulled away your eyes were wide and so were his. You were about to move away when he just pulled you back in for another kiss.

The second kiss is more sweet and dedicated than the first, your hands moving to gently press into his chest. His hands gently held your head and waist as if you were to fall. It made you feel safe.

Then you both pulled away relaxing into your spots across from each other and your face turned beet red again. How dare he need that good of a kisser? you were just proving a point and now you're the one wrapped around his finger. You try to look away but with his hand snugly holding your head, you couldn't physically do so.

In silence, John Dory’s smile grew from a smirk to a dopey grin. You felt a wave of embarrassment pass through you. “Sweet mother of all things Trolly! You never cease to surprise me Buttercup!” he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you up, spinning you around as you giggled very softly again. He then pulled you in for a hug. “I'm glad you feel the same. You don't know how much it means to me.”

You guys stayed in a hug for a while. He was holding you so tight that it felt like he'd never let go, ever. Then you got an idea. You pulled away first, and that admittedly made him confused. You walked to the record player and played his song again. Offering him your hand.

He laughed, grabbing your hand and pulling you in for a dance. Not a fast dance, just a slow dance, A comfortable dance. Youve never felt so warm and cozy in your life. Maybe your book can wait for a few more hours. You're not in a rush.

⏠⏡⏠⏡⏠⏡⏠⏡⏠

For the next few years you would have a casual relationship. To the point where no one inherently knew you were dating until John would make some sweet comment about you with your back turned.

As you rode gently into your 30s John was right there beside you. Celebrating each birthday, bigger than the last. You were grateful you got stuck with a guy like John, every day was like a gossip story and he'd tell you every fact about Brozone there ever was. You soon became the team’s number-one fan.

That was, until the unexpected happened. John Dory received a message from his brother that he was in danger. Locked in a diamond prison that only the perfect family harmony could save him from.

“So I have to find my brothers, then save Floyd.” He’d proclaim to you. You raised an eyebrow as you picked up his mess in the bus, he'd probably be taking it and if there were any guests you'd want them to be comfortable. “You know…” he turned around to greet you, walking to throw the trash in the bin outside.

You gave him a look, you knew what he was going to say. “You could come with me, meet my brothers? Join in on the adventure?” he’d ask before you shook your head. You gestured outside and then walked up to him to gently kiss his cheek. “Yeah, I get it, but you're still meeting my brothers, I don't know what I'll have to do for that to happen but you will.” he kissed your forehead and got behind the wheel. You let him know you love him then walk out of his bus to not wait any longer.

You walk to the front of the bus and pet the armadillo before stepping back, and waving goodbye. As he left a pit rolled up in your stomach. A worry pit. You felt like you should've gone with him, but you'd only slow him down. So you went inside. Deciding its a good time to catch up on some reading.

⏠⏡⏠⏡⏠⏡⏠⏡⏠

You learned to live with the pit after a while, you used a small messenger creature to send little I love you notes, but you haven't gotten anything in return. It made it worse, and then right as it neared sundown on the second day he was gone, you had had enough. You walked outside. Going to the corner to pull something out of your sleeve that he’d never expect.

⏠⏡⏠⏡⏠⏡⏠⏡⏠

After the show, John was laughing backstage at something Clay said, holding his stomach as him and his brothers all laughed in unison. He was the first to stop laughing, and when he did. He saw his entire family. Laughing together as if it were the holidays. Which is around a troll’s happiest time.

All that was missing was…

JD’s eyes shot up and he placed a hand on your forehead. “Oh shoot, Buttercup! Oh geez-” he looked up dusting himself and pulling his jacket more clothed and preparing to leave when Bruce chimes in.

“Where are you headed, John?” He’d ask. His voice laced with familiar suspicion. The entire room looks at him, as if awaiting the incredible response he'd spew out now. John stuttered quietly. Then leaned on a wall next to him.

“I have a misses I have to get home to thank you very much.”

There was silent, for a whole minute straight until laughter amongst the brothers (except Floyd honestly) rang out. Everyone's eyes briefly snapped to them. Viva slapped Clay’s arm and he went quiet for a second only to start dying laughing again. Branch wiped a tear and crossed his arms. “You? You have a “misses”? you're just full of surprises.”

JD laughs softly, confused, his brothers are laughing “I'm serious, they're perfect. I want you all to meet them so badly, but they stayed to take care of things there.” He crosses his arms tight over his chest, deciding to just smile through the pain.

JD ignored all the mindless snorts and chuckles after that comment, or tried to anyway. He shook his head “ you'll see, I'll introduce them to you guys and I'm gonna be laughing at you guys!” He walks out to the stage to head home that way.

He grumbled slightly, angry that his brothers would doubt him, but could you blame them? They are brothers after all. he's not grumbling for long because the sound of a growling animal snaps him out of his thoughts. Within an instant, something shoots from the dark, surrounding him in a dirt cloud and the sound of a creature going “meeeeeeeeh” like a motorcycle.

John screamed, a comically loud scream. That attracted everyone inside. They all rushed out only to see the scene unfolding before them. “Hey!” Branch was the first to yell. “Leave our brother alone!” the others banded together and got into fighting poses until everything stopped.

The loud noises, fast movements, and it was just silence for ten seconds until emerging from the cloud was a figure with bucket helmet, and sunglasses over the front. The creature they were riding on was some sort of caterpillar snail, similar to a motorbike.

John looked up at the figure and grinned awkwardly. When the person takes off their mask he gasps louder than he's ever gasped before “BUTTERCUP!” He shoots up. Wrapping you in his arms and lifting you high into the air.

You giggle and wrap your arms around his head until he puts you down. You take off your shades and swing your hair a little bit to get rid of the helmet shape. He was so excited to see you he could explode. “You gave me a good scare, I'm sorry I didn't go home right after saving Floyd I just had to catch up with everyone and do a show with them one last time, you had to see the show, in fact, I think someone recorded it, I'll get that to you as fast as possible!”

“Who is that?” Clay asked, a bit too accusingly. You blush and hide behind JD in fear. He crackles and pushes you forward.

He holds you tight as he introduces you by name. “They are my buttercup, my everything. The one who kept me afloat during all my turmoil. The one who-” You slap him in his arm, causing him to laugh. You bow your head to greet them.

Then you all gather around to talk, enjoying meeting the brothers for the first time. Branch is just the definition of sweet and sour, his girlfriend is the whole package everything you'd want in a party planner honestly. Floyd was the perfect sweetheart and Clay was fun to watch with his small misadventures with Viva. Bruce was definitely the one who talked to you the most, asking you genuine questions about why the hell John dory of all people. You answered as modestly as possible, not having an answer at that moment.

Then you caught sight of John wallflowering. You frowned and walked over, leaning on the same wall he was. He smiled at you, his gaze lingering oh yours for a minute before he kissed your cheek gently. You raised a brow. He laughed softly. “That's my girl.” he’d say before wrapping an arm around you lovingly.

End

#Spotify #fanfiction #trolls #trolls band together #trolls fandom #trolls fanfic #trolls fanfiction #trolls franchise #trolls x reader #dreamworks trolls #trolls 3 #john dory trolls #john dory x reader #trolls john dory #john dory #M

[singmyaubade]

warning: cursing

cheating!boyfriend!james x female!reader

you opened the door to the empty charms classroom where your boyfriend had detention. you gasped, seeing your boyfriend and your best friends sister kissing.

"y/n." james said, already raising up.

anger, sadness, surprise, disgust.

multiple emotions engraved your entire body.

you were stuck in a trance, not being able to fully breathe, not knowing which emotion to act on. you could cry, hit him, yell at him, but none of them seemed right.

"y/n, look at me baby." james said, holding your shoulders, trying to make you look at him.

you looked at him, glassy-eyed.

"baby," he swallowed, "i swear it's not what you think at all." he tried to calm you down but you just couldn't breathe in this moment.

"what the fuck." is all you said.

you looked at your best friends sister, izzy evans. what angered you even more was that it was the sister of a girl he once loved. a girl he once imagined his whole life with.

"baby, let me explain to you what happened." james reasoned, trying to keep your eyes on him.

"fuck you." you spat, turning your heel, storming off into the hallway.

"y/n please." he ran after you, trying to touch your hand.

"james fleamont potter, i don't want to fucking hear it." you snapped, pointing your finger at him.

you knew he had never seen you so angry.

in fact, you guys never fought. your relationship was pure and loving, only having an argument when needed. every problem, you would make sure to talk it out and you gave him your all.

which is why it was so hard to stomach that he cheated.

now his eyes were teary, "i can guarantee it's not what you think, you can't believe that i would kiss her," he rationally said, "i love you."

you couldn't tell if he was being genuine which only rubbed you more the wrong way.

"is this the only time you guys have ever done anything like that?' you asked, willing to forgive if you knew this was the only time it had happened.

he looked guilty, "we have had a few incidents before,"

you scoffed, moving past him to your dorm.

he quickly moved in front of you, "but, i swear, i never went too far."

"good fucking job, you didn't got too far with your mistress, you asshole." you sneered.

"because it was a crush, we both had a little crus-" he explained, realizing his slip up at the end.

"are you fucking kidding me?" you asked.

"baby, i'm sorry, i didn't mean it." he said, kissing you but you pushed him roughly.

"you had a crush on her? a crush on the girl you loved for most of your hogwarts enrollment's sister?" you fumed, "get the fuck away from me." you moved past him and he didn't chase after you.

you were so angry, not knowing where to go.

you didn't want to go to your dorm and have to explain to lily evans, your best friend of seven years, that you caught her sister and your boyfriend who used to be in love with her kissing.

it wasn't fitting.

you just wanted to erase you and james off of this planet. you didn't wanna calm down and talk, you wanted to destroy everything that existed of you two.

so you were going to.

you stormed to the gryffindor common room, going up the stairs to the boys dormitory. you knocked three times, not harshly but just enough to get notice.

sirius opened the door, an red apple in his hand that were shaped by two bites.

"oh y/n, im sorry to tell you but loverboy isn't here yet." he said, jokingly.

you could tell he didn't know anything because he was acting how he usually did and if he did, it would be dramatic because it was sirius.

"i know!" you smiled, "i just wanted to wait for him in here." you said uppity as you usually did.

"alrighty." he said, leaving the door open for you.

you closed the door behind you, "hey y/n." remus said, reading his book in bed with his glasses.

"hey remmy." you greeted with a smile, "how are you?"

"good, how are you? everything alright?" he asked, noticing your smile was cracking.

"fine actually," you said, "just fine."

"okay." he said, not knowing if it was the truth or not.

"do you guys know where james's broom is?" you asked, "he's gonna do some late night practicing?"

"without me?" sirius groaned.

"he wanted to show me a few of his tricks." you smiled.

"well, its right under his bed." sirius pointed.

"thanks." you grinned at him.

you grabbed the nimbus one-thousand fifty-five from under james's bed. you admired the wood of the handle, running your nails along it.

you then grabbed it by the broom part and used it swipe all of the pictures of you and james on the ground which startled sirius and remus.

"y/n!" remus yelled, taking off his glasses.

you ignored him, smashing james's broom on his desk, trying to tear it in half. when you failed at that, you dropped the broom and grabbed the snow globe that you gave him for christmas and smashed it on the ground.

sirius was now slowly trying to move over to you but a part of him was scared.

you grabbed a picture of you and james that was moving, you kissing him on the cheek.

you remember that day like no other, valentines day. james had got you your favorite cake from kowalski quality baked goods. one that usually took months to aquire due to how popular the shop was.

you took in the picture one last time before smashing it to the ground harshly.

that's when remus decided to intervene.

he grabbed both of your hands and hugged your back, putting his arm on your collarbones.

"let me go remus." you said, crying.

"it's not worth it." he whispered in your ear, "whatever it is, it isn't worth it."

you sobbed, holding onto remus's arm.

the door opened and you knew it was james, you didn't even have to look.

before james could say anything, remus said, "sirius take her, i'll talk to prongs." he instructed.

"wait," james said before remus cut him off.

"you don't wanna have this conversation now, trust me." remus said.

remus let you go as you crumbled to your knees and sirius rushed over to you, making sure you were okay.

remus walked outside to james and you couldn't hear what they were saying. all you knew was that you were heartbroken and had no idea what to do.

"come on y/n, please get up," sirius pleaded, not wanting the glass to cut your knees.

"why did he like her?" you sobbed.

"you know prongs is stupid," sirius sighed, "he's not the smartest and that's not an excuse but i think sooner or later, you should really find the root of the problem."

you sniffled, "i never knew you could actually give good advice." you joked.

"well, i think the destroying of the objects in this room has opened my eyes." sirius laughed, "let me clean this up."

you nodded, stepping off of the glass, hissing because of the cuts on your knees.

"after i clean this up, i'll help you with the cuts." he said as you nodded.

you watched as sirius performed several charms and spells to clean up the mess and fixed the fixable objects. after he fixed what he could, he tried his best fifth year taught healing skills.

"thank you sirius." you looked at his eyes.

he smiled, delivering a kiss to your head before going outside to talk to james and remus.

after what felt like several minutes, the door opened and closed. you looked behind you to see james and you both kept eye contact.

you both didn't know what to say for a while, it was as if both of you had forgot all of the words of the human language.

james cleared his throat, "i wish i could tell you something that could fix everything and make us go back to normal but i don't know what to do." he admitted, "i regret what i did to you, it will probably be my biggest regret."

"i know." you said, teary-eyed.

your eyes had burned from crying so much.

"i don't know if we can fix this," you admitted as his mouth opened, "if you are having enough doubts to like another girl, i don't think we should be together."

he moved in front of you, going on his knees, "y/n i love you so much, more than i ever will love anyone else," he pleaded, "just let me prove it to you."

you put your hands in his, "i'm not trying to be cruel, i know we both love eachother but," you exhaled, "i can't be with you if when you hurt me, i feel like this." a tear fell down your cheek, "it's not healthy for either of us."

"please." his voice cracked.

"jamie, we have to let each other go." you calmly said.

"don't leave." he croaked.

your response was a kiss to his cheek before you got up and headed over to the door, not wanting to keep talking about the same thing.

it might not be the last time you guys have this talk but it was enough for you for now.

#james potter #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #marauders era #hp #hogwarts #harry potter #singmyaubade #tw mature #toxic!james #toxic!reader #james potter x you #marauders x reader #marauders

[semisolidmind]

Ok I have a question and if I asked this before sorry my memory sometimes bad.

So you said peach's died on the journey with her husband's. How did she die? And did they get revenge for her. Also at this point you would think peach's is there soulmate but peach's not liking it.

And dose she have a Mark of how she died as a brith Mark?

And what was Macaqa and sun frist meating with peach's like?

I really love your work

(tw, slight mention of blood and gore)

went on a bit of a tangent :)

reader was killed during a demon ambush. everybody was busy fighting the demons, and while reader was hiding, one of the demons escaped the warlords' notice. she didn't even have time to scream. it killed her, and then took and ate her body.

macaque was the first to realize her absence, of course. reader wasn't able to make much noise as she died, so he just thought she was scared, but... imagine his horror when he can't hear her heartbeat. he quickly dissapears into a shadow, leaving the fight behind. he checks where reader was hidden, and finds only a small puddle of blood. his breathing quickens as he follows the blood a ways further into the woods. he can feel his rage and anguish growing.

there, in a clearing, a rogue wolf demon seems to have just finished its meal, it's tongue licking the excess gore from its teeth. shreds of reader's clothing lay scattered at its feet, along with her satchel and book.

macaque bears his teeth in an enraged snarl and roars at the stupid beast. struck by grief, he falls to his knees, pressing his hands to his face as tears gather in his eyes.

the sound of his anguish echoing against the trees was enough to summon his brother; wukong, covered in the gore of his slain enemies, appears at his side. the king takes quick stock of the situation, and comes to the same heart-shattering conclusion as macaque.

she's gone. she's gone and this wretched creature destroyed her.

reader is dead.

the rage he feels rivals the burning of the stars.

the two bring down the full fury of their combined might upon the wolf demon. the warlords drag out their dismantlement, tearing the stupid creature apart peice by peice. once the offending beast is little more than a visceral stain on the ground..

...the brothers hold one another, attempting to ground each other through the torrent of their pain. they've lost their one, their only.

their dear reader, their beloved peach....she's dead. all because they took their eyes off her for a second, all because they were made to come on this cursed journey. were they not charged with protecting that blasted monk, they could have prevented this. wukong and macaque come to the same conclusion; they will not soon forgive the ones who brought them here.

the monkey demons gather reader's things, holding them as gently as glass...it's all they have left of her. not even a body to bury back home on their mountain.

the other pilgrims need only see these items and the baleful, enraged, tear-stricken looks on their companions' faces to know what must have happened. wukong and macaque say nothing as the monk says a prayer for her.

the two leave for a while.

they don't come back for three months.

when they do return to the journey at the behest of the heavens, they are reserved. withdrawn. they keep to themselves, only intervening when the pilgrims are in danger they can't solve themselves.

———

the monkey king and the six-eared macaque complete the journey. they refuse their new titles; the rage that simmers in them is far too great for the roles they've earned.

the monkey warlords go home. they grieve, properly this time, alongside their subjects.

the next few hundred years are especially brutal for any enemies of flower fruit mountain and it's king. without his queen, he forgets what it means to be merciful.

———

many centuries later, wukong finds a little monkey demon boy, seemingly sprung from the same stone he did. wukong adopts him, names him xiaotian, and teaches him to become a ruthlessly efficient warrior.

the child grows up hearing the occasional story about the mountains' queen, a once-mortal woman who held his father's (and uncle's) heart in her hands. his caretakers can't bring themselves to speak about her often, but they speak softly and fondly when they do. he hears stories of her adventures on the mountain; how she made friends with her subjects, worked in the kitchens and orchards, and cared for the mountain's children.

both wukong and macaque tell xiaotian that reader would have loved him dearly.

the small shrine in the palace temple (a satchel, a heavy book with nothing written in it, a few scraps of bloodied cloth displayed next to daily offerings of peaches) and furniture in his father's room (the combs, hairpins, and perfume bottles untouched but lovingly dusted) don't tell him much about who "reader" was—but the stories from the people who knew her do.

he wishes he could've met her.

———

when the boy reaches a certain age, he asks to go stay in the mortal world. his father reluctantly agrees.

xiaotian goes to the city, battles the dragon girl mei, befriends her, and allows her to teach him how the city works. she takes him to a noodle shop belonging to one of her friends, a gruff but earnest pig demon named pigsy. there, he meets mei's other friends; a gentle blue giant named sandy (and his cat, mo), a studious yet freeloading human named tang—and a friendly human woman who works at the shop...

...who happens to be nicknamed reader.

#bad end wukong #twice as bad au #sorry i kinda only answered one of your questions