#i love posting things when ppl aren’t online apparently

[mattodore]

you belong to me and i belong to you and so on

#river dipping #ts4 #ts4 edit #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #have been editing this so slowly throughout the day bc this vaccine shot has been kicking my ass 😔 #but looking at mattodore kissing for so long is no hardship trust me i’ve been having a blast #ummm what else do i wanna say here before i go back to watching catfish and downing acetaminophen……. #oh!!! #i got an ask yesterday night that i wanna reply to once my muscles stop hurting so bad 🚶 #so know that i’m gonna work on it! #just… 🧎 it will take me a bit #i’ve just been sitting here staring at a wall thinking abt it but my brain is nawttt functioning v well atm lmao #i have started replying but didn’t get very far before i was like. none of this is any good jdgshdhhdd #so. will start over when i bounce back! #…i also just realized it’s pretty late uhhh so if you see this then <3 a little kiss #i love posting things when ppl aren’t online apparently #i do it so often jfhsjfhfj oh well #for the mattodore fans out there here u go 💐👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

[the-bjd-community-confess]

" i also saw danny ch0o’s post on dms for him saying his dolls are racist bc hes producing a lot of cocoa skintone dolls and not white dolls,"

Just to quickly focus on that one. Danni Ch++ has said and claimed a lot of these things, but never actually is able to prove it, like he could literally post the DMs, considering he's never been shy about posting other info.  Like the map of smartd0ll buyers comes to mind, which showed with red dots on a world map where SMD buyers lived specific to their place of residence. And the time where he effectively doxxed a SMD buyer, by telling another buyer that "This person lives close to you." In fact, this is the guy who famously compared his dolls, aka Smartd0lls to the marginalised group of the BJD world, by comparing himself/his dolls/SMD's to black lives matter (BLM). I'd even go as far as to say he's lying as he usually does, and misrepresenting certain criticisms I've seen be posted online. Such as:

The cocoa skin tone has issues with the face-ups. Because certain tones are barely visible on the doll. I think this was in reference to how the blush is almost invisible on Cocoa, because the face-up mask used was/is? used on the other lighter tones. 

People lamenting the fact that the purple-ish fantasy brown was retired because many loved it for dark skin fantasy characters. Which apparently is racist because people called it a fantasy colour, despite him not making it as a fantasy colour. But real talk, it was pretty obvious that the purple-Cocoa was made without actually researching the undertones of black people. 

People being sad and complaining that he discontinued the milk-skin tone, because people really liked using it for hybriding, and people just generally liking having a very pale option. Like, no one complained about there being Cocoa, it was just immediately misrepresented by him as: "People want the milk skin tone? That means they hate cocoa! They're all racist!" in his posts. 

People complaining that he hasn't made a black-feature specific sculpt, and some saying it's lazy since he apparently can make a bunch of different features for dolls, but making a doll with Afrocentric features of any kind is just not possble. /s

"or he shud apologize because some of his dolls’ hands represent F.YOU in another country, or that when u pose the hand it looks like a nazi pose like"

Oh and this one. Literally NO ONE. Not a single person. I don't even thing a single single-celled organism said that. To be specific what I mean, no one independently of context said: "The flat hand is made to represent the Nazi-Hail salute." No one. People, in the FULL CONTEXT of the doll picture, aka: Black uniform. Red armband. The text using: "Eradicate the infestation." against a group of people "The entitled" which are clearly a stand-in for all the ppl Ch++ doesn't like. Said that then also using a the-flat hand, in a straight arm-pose, with all of this CONTEXT, said it gives a really iffy Nazi feel to it. Just with different words. This complaint about the Nazi-vibe was commented by a JEWISH person btw.

All in all, I don't even get what your point was. It sounds like you decided to go into a specifically shitty part of the Western BJD hobby, and then were surprised it's shitty? And then you even present DC as a big part of your rant, when he's a notorious liar about a lot of things, such as the mentioned above. Which removes a lot of credibility since his actions aren't even really that secret if you are even a little bit active in the general BJD-vinyl side of the hobby. Like, I could probably drag my ass to the Asian side of the hobby and find just as much toxic shit. Hell, from the Eastern-Europe side, which I've seen some people praise for its artistry, has a pretty nasty toxic and aggressive side to it. It's all about how YOU curate your own experience, which you apparently don't do, or you seek out the toxic parts and then through algorithms just get served even more of that shit.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions #Company Owners #Vinyl BJD #Vinyl Tone

[i-want-my-iwtv]

I hope the rumours of Louis being a brothel owner aren't true, but if they are I can sort of see why they're going for this route? I mean, with a black Louis they can't have him being a slaver anymore, so maybe they're trying to find something that is also morally reprehensible for him to be.

TL;DR: My kneejerk reaction was to be saddened, and I don’t like that this is starting up, and will continue to fuel, fandom drama. Ultimately, if we want peace, we’ll embrace the fact that the existence of this adaptation doesn’t take away from the existence of the books, and it also doesn't mean we have to acknowledge it.

It makes me wonder whether AMC wants us to make a storm about this. We’ll see...

After all, what makes this adaptation any more important than the graphic novels of the ’90s, the graphic novel Claudia’s Story, movie!IWTV, or movie!QOTD? In fact, many fans here on tumblr consider VC to be a trilogy only!!! and don’t accept the majority of the PUBLISHED CANON so what makes anyone think we have any obligation to swallow this AMC adaptation as some kind of gospel?

I see movie!QOTD as a buffet of ideas carried in an official fanfiction work, and I don’t accept as my headcanon the various things it changed about the books that I didn’t particularly like, such as merging Magnus and Marius (which, IMO, effectively made both characters more morally reprehensible). I accepted the things I did enjoy, like casting a Black/POC actress to play Akasha. I see this AMC adaptation as a buffet of ideas, some can be taken, and some not, it’s just another official fanfiction work.

[Anon, I need to catch other ppl up on the information, too.]

Deadline.com informs us that in the AMC adaptation for Interview with the Vampire, Jacob Anderson has been cast as Louis. I'm not familiar with him, but it looks like he’s a successful actor, from Game of Thrones and other things, he’s also joining Series 13 of Doctor Who. I’ll have to check him out from an acting standpoint!

Aside from his talent as an actor, this is by far the most controversial thing that's happened in VC fandom recently. I've been thinking about this for a few months now, talking about it privately online and offline, still gathering my thoughts. So this post is not engraved in stone, it’s initial thoughts on this.

I’m glad to see ppl talking about it and I’m sure we’ll have more public discussions. I’m trying to discuss it very carefully, but also, this is an entertainment blog, my opinions are mine alone, and I’m not looking for dogpiling on anyone, I have no obligation to respond publicly or privately to anything. Plenty of other ppl have differing opinions on this. So take all of the following with more than a grain of salt, I’m not being salty, I’m providing the links to the little info we’ve seen pulicly, I’m giving my initial thoughts, and I’m also trying to add a little levity because ultimately, again, this is an entertainment blog, and I try to add a little humor to help with such serious topics, humor can help ppl talk about controversial things.

-----

The casting of a POC/Black actor (I’m sorry I don't know the preferred terminology, let me know if you know what Anderson prefers) confirms at least one part of theilluminerdi articles that stated that Louis’ race will be different from the books. I didn’t post about these before bc I wasn’t sure how reliable theilluminerdi’s sources are (and I'm still not sure), but this was one major aspect that theilluminerdi announced before Deadline did, so now seems to be the right time to share those articles. For now, you can go check them out yourselves rather than have my reposting of the information, trigger warning: mentions of sex workers and race in the changes to the canon story of Interview with the Vampire.

>>>theilluminerdi articles from May 21, 2021 and July 15, 2021:

www.theilluminerdi.com/2021/05/21/interview-with-the-vampire-amc

www.theilluminerdi.com/2021/07/15/interview-with-the-vampire-amc-2

^Meme of Dr. Ian Malcom from Jurassic Park reads: “Your writers were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

I’m using that meme with a little levity here, clearly an AMC adaptation of vampires in which the producers/writers have chosen to change the race of a main character (arguably the original protagonist of the series) isn’t in the same VICINITY as the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park that broke out of containment and killed visitors to the park, but John Hammond’s intention for the creation of that park was very good, as I assume this race change was intended. Time will tell.

“But with this place, I wanted to show them something that wasn't an illusion. Something that was real, something that they could see and touch. An aim not devoid of merit.”

“Creation is an act of sheer will.” 

- John Hammond, Jurassic Park

Race is a more complicated subject than ever, so for AMC to make this bold change, I hope they have POC and Black writers on staff and are handling this very carefully. Even then, no racial group, including POC and Black people, are a hivemind, disagreements are bound to happen in the writing room, whether in good faith or bad. People have different intentions and motives, compromises will probably be made with the story in many ways, we all know how it goes with collaborations; the end product is a shared vision among multiple creators. This could be a potentially controversial adaptation, I don’t know whether they’re aiming for that or not, but with the elements it has so far, it seems to be headed that way.

Here's a comment by "Angellus" on the 5/21 article. It's undeniable that there's going to be the accusation of racism thrown at anyone who has any negative view of this change, regardless of their reasons. I find it unfair and narrow-minded that any negative response is automatically assumed to be coming from a racist point of view. To say that changing Louis' race is unequivocally an improvement fails to take into account how that change has a Domino effect on all of the other parts of the story. Not the least of which is that, if he is still a slaver/slave holder/plantation owner/(insert your preferred term) that adds a whole new racist element to his owning Black/POC people, even though, apparently there were Black/POC plantation owners. 

Not the least of which: How will this change impact his relationship with Lestat? Particularly when Lestat has the added issue of being described in those articles as having “mind control abilities” and “insistent that he gets what he wants and when facing rejection,” a terrible combination in terms of consent, even in a relationship of the same race, let alone invoking Caucasian/white dominance over Black/POC people, AND Lestat being the catalyst to Louis’ questioning his sexuality:

Lestat is insistent that he gets what he wants and when facing rejection, petulance can quickly turn to ruthless rage which causes frenzied acts of horrifically brutal violence. Lestat also has mind control abilities. Lestat initially infuriates Louis, but this soon turns to fascination which leads Louis to question his religion and sexuality. 

^Screencap reads: "I love how racist everyone is in the damn comments, this doesn’t pervert the story you’re all racist and it’s disgusting. I’m looking forward to it, I hope you keep crying your salty racist tears asswipes."

It makes me question whether Angellus truly believes what they wrote, if this is an ideology, or a troll. I would suggest their use of the term “pervert” is correct though, pervert means: “alter (something) from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended.” That’s what this race change does, factually. Although, in this context, “distortion or corruption” carries a negative connotation. It would take a lot to show how this change does not meet the definition or “to pervert,” though.

I hope the rumours of Louis being a brothel owner aren't true

I agree 1,000%, I was hoping that these were just rumors. But, aside from the race change, if this were the only change, I find Louis being a brothel owner to be equivalently morally reprehensible to being a slaver/slave holder/plantation owner/(insert your preferred term). Ideally, they’d change his career to something that doesn’t involve benefiting from the bodies/labor of others in any morally reprehensible manner.

I mean, with a black Louis they can't have him being a slaver anymore, so maybe they're trying to find something that is also morally reprehensible for him to be.

He might still be a slaver. Who knows. Being morally reprehensible as a mortal man didn’t seem to me to be crucial to the story, but they still could have chosen something better. It seems to me like they want a brothel so they can have eye candy for an audience who want to see sex workers, maybe full frontal nudity. 

-----

What also gets my attention is that Anne and Christopher Rice have not yet posted publicly about it, which leads me to believe that this change wasn’t their choice. They take every chance to brag when they’re proud of something, every chance to crowdsource about casting ideas or which VC books Anne’s fans liked best, etc., and in this case, as of Aug. 31, 2021, (and to be fair, maybe I missed it), I haven’t seen either of them post about this on the official VC FB, Anne Rice’s FB, Annerice.com, Christopher Rice’s FB, or christopherricebooks.com. If it had been their choice, I think they would have gladly trumpeted their credit by now, but maybe they’re waiting to do it in a specific venue. Time will tell.

#vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire #louis de pointe du lac #race #racism #tw race #tw racism #tw sex worker #jurassic park #memeything #ian malcolm #anon #ask #anne rice #christopher rice #long post #iwantmyiwtv has opinions #Jacob Anderson #vc casting

[golbrocklovely]

Am i the only one that finds it weird that certain people will fly out from one end of the country to the other end, and maybe that's not the reason they are flying out but they will make it a mission to stalk and keep tabs on where their favorite influencer is to try to meet them.

Some influencers i know have actual celeb status and those are the ones that you cant really pin point their location but MOST are regular people posting online who choose to document everything and forget so many eyes are watching.

Without naming names, theres a girl who follows a group of content creators out in L.A who are known to some extent to those who are into youtube (otherwise you wouldnt know them). She mods for them on twitch, follows them, convinced them to follow her, and although they did it to be nice, she tweets and act like shes their bff and sometimes is rude in her tweets towards them because she honestly feels she's their bff. She has an actual job that pays her well (her words) and has flown out to L.A several times and since they document and post everything she just happens to find them all the time, and they look super stiff & awkward in every photo with her. Shes not a teen, she's in her mid to late 20s.

I saw the ask you got concerning Colby and girls befriending every girl he interacts with and it reminded me of these girls who have stalked him and his friends stories and photos, shown up to the places theyre at and taken photos that sometimes seem too forced or innapropriate. Some try to kiss him in some and i do not understand how these people dont understand that there is a line you do not cross no matter what. Plus given that most of these girls are no longer teenagers, their behavior is concerning. If these were men or young guys, there would be a pile of restraining orders filed everyday.

yeah, that is really strange. i've definitely heard of some fans in this fandom doing something like that.

like, i get going to LA for other reasons (like vacation) and then if you happen to run into your fave, that's a different. but actively searching for them.... that's too much.

it reminds me of stalker sarah, and if you get that reference, you've been on the internet for a long time lol

and when it comes to snc, they have a way of playing off stuff like "stalkers" or really intense and inappropriate fans. and i get that they don't want to hurt their fans' feelings, but like... if a fan made you uncomfortable and physically did something to you like that, they aren't your fan and you should rightfully call them out.

like, i've been looking back thru old instagram fan accounts for snc and someone screen recorded a livestream colby did back at the end of 2015 and a question he got was 'what's something weird a fan has done to you' and he literally said (verbatim) "you'll be like 'hey what's up, holy crap i love meeting you' and all that stuff... and they'll like touch you? in places that make you go like 'woah! holy crap' and so that's kinda weird. like... the grabbing." and then in that one video him and sam talked about grandmas grabbing their asses during meet and greets.... like, i don't think they realize they've been sexual assaulted multiple times by apparent fans. i know they laugh it off, but it's not something to laugh at.

and then i remember there were a couple fans back in 2019 that were in la that literally went to their apartment building and found a way inside thru a back entrance or something like that. i don't know how you can think any of this type of behavior is okay and right. regardless of your age. like, who didn't raise you????

not to mention some other things that have happened this past year where their privacy was broken. if you care about your faves, you wouldn't do things to hurt them. period. that includes stalking, touching them inappropriately, going to their house or hotel, or leaking info about them.

fan behavior like this is why ppl hate on fandoms. and rightfully so. it's fucking gross.

#ask #personal #sam golbach #colby brock #sam and colby

[the-adhd-society]

Hey, I need some advice if you’ve got the time.

My parents are heavily against adhd meds (they want me to do like meditation and stuff) but nothings working. I’m a complete mess at school. I’m riddled with lack of focus and memory problems. My parents are “willing to talk to someone” but I really think that meds might be more helpful or at least worth a shot.

On top of that, I might being getting a job soon. It’s at a video game store I love and I’m really into games, so that’s exciting. Seeing as we know the owners pretty well, it’s highly likely that I’ll get the job. I want this, really badly, but I’m scared that adhd is going to come hit me like a truck.

I turned fourteen two weeks ago.

Many advice on holding retail jobs with adhd and asking for meds?

(I’m also autistic if that changes anything)

Thanks!

Apparently my draft didn't save. That's annoying. Good thing is wrote out my response..

So my answers really depend on why your parents are against the medication. From my experience parents usually are against meds for two ish main reasons..

1) they are uneducated and or are afraid of the stigma: they are afraid of the side effects or the idea that you will be dependent on it for life. Yadda yadda.

In this case i suggest looking up articles on adhd medication and the benefits and common misconceptions that parents have. At 14 you are past the age for major risks ( that i know of...i'm not a doctor) there are TONS of adhd parent groups and resources that you can direct them to so they can see how others have navigated this before.

I would say something along the lines of " hey parental units (mom dad whom ever). I know that we talked about medication before and I heard your concerns so I did some of my own research can I share with you what I found or send you the links ?

The other "camp" or mentality that parents often have is. "It's not really a problem" (denial).

They might say that you are exaggerating, just not trying hard enough, looking for excuses and just aren't trying.

With this one, it's really difficult but it might help to work with them. Or let them think you are working with them. Talk about where you are struggling, talk about the plans that you make to keep organized and where you need help. Talk to them about the best way that they can support you. Showing them that you are "trying" might help them to see that you need more help. Also showing them how much effort and thought you are putting In might help as well.

This could sound like " hey parental, I am trying to meditate like you mentioned. But I can't seems to keep my mind in one place while practicing what do i do ? "

Or " hey I am really struggling with getting all of my assignments done on time. This is what i tried in the past and this is what i am doing now, can you help me find a better way to be successful ? "

You can also just be really upfront and say " i am really struggling with ay and z, i have tried abc but it has not helped. I'm getting really stressed and worried that my grades are going to drop. It is upsetting because i will spend five hours trying to get one assignment done but i seem to get off track. I want to be successful and i know i am capable but i just can't get it all done"

Now i want to say straight up in some cultures and in some households, this type of conversation might be a lot. You might want to look for ppl with adhd from a similar background to see what they did. ( I'm very white and have had many conversations with people about how in their families this is taboo.) .

anyways. I also wanted to let you know that this entire situation is ableism. Just an fyi the fact that you can't get the medical treatment that you need.

I think it is important to talk about medication as a tool to be successful. It's not a cure all and it does have it's draw backs ( price, side effects etc). So don't get your hopes up if you try one drug and it doesn't work well on the first try

The person they are going to talk to do you know how they feel about medication ? Perhaps try and have a conversation with that person beforehand you can say something like. " i know my parents are looking to talk to you about medication, it's something that is really important to me, do you have 5-10 mims where we can talk about it so i can give you my perspective ?"

Obviously you probably might need to ask your parents for permission but just a suggestion. ( if it is someone from school i say go ahead and do it but idk who they are going to talk to).

Moving on to memory things:

I think you need to look at specifically what is the issue that you are having. Are you spending too much time on one assignment so you can't get others done ? Do you forget what is due when ? Do you not leave enough time to do the work so you are stuck cramming ?

Different issues call for different plans. I'd also talk to your case manager or disability person at your school. If you are in the u.s. you should have an IEP or a 504.

With online learning(and in general) you can ask for accommodations such as reducing the work load ( instead of answering 10 questions and writing 4 paragraphs, you do five questions amd two paragraphs)

You can ask for extended time for homework or to not get points off if it is late. There are many different things you can do. The point with homework and assignments is to show comprehension and mastery. If you are able to do that then the other requirements aren't as important. But that is something you amd your parents need to advocate for. And if theu are against bring up that it is just during thr pandemic.

This is what i did organization wise when i was on college.

I went through each of my classes and wrote down in my planner the home work for the entire semester (you might only be able to do it a week at a time) of when they were due ( in pencil).

I wrote down all of then due dates and reminders the week before they were due for larger projects. Then i had a very large desk calendar that i wrote all of my papers and tests on.

Before i would leave class i would write down in pen the homework for next time. (Again second time)

When i would go home i would wrote those assignments on a post it note so i knew what needed to be done for the day(third time). At NO POINT did i ever rely on my memory. I set up clear expectations of what i was going to work one for that day.

find what works for you. Maybe you need a small white board to write down your assignments for the day or week. Maybe you need to write it on a post it note before the end of class. You might need a mix of google calender and post it notes Figure out what works best for and then create a structure around it.

I also used a time app called productivity timer that can help with time blindness and i used another app to lock me out of apps.

In terms of retail. I have no idea friend. Lol.

Let me know if this helps and i would love if any younger people have suggestions.. Or parents. Or literally anyone.

#long post #ask #anon #medication

[cyberstabbing]

my brain is going bounce bounce between Super Awesome Rad stuff and Uh Oh This Is Bad and uh anyways suicide mention below (on mobile so can't make it under the cut)

---

today someone jumped in front of a train at the subway station my friend was at on her way to meet with me. the whole train line had to be shut down for an hour and it got pretty chaotic, people and ambulances everywhere. not that rare, unfortunately. a guy in my friend's (that same friend, actually) swim club jumped off a bridge last summer, just a block away. people laughed, told him to "do a flip!" and filmed the whole thing which then got posted online. he was 22. people suck.

back to today's thing, though. i was really worried that the person who jumped was one of my close friends. she's suicidal and has tried to take her own life several times this past fall/winter. some of it has been her trying to jump in front of trains. last place she tried was just two train stops away from the one today. so i texted her. just a "hey what are you up to?" she didn't answer. i wanted to call her but i was afraid of what i would hear (or wouldn't). i followed the news story on all the news sites i could think of. i checked reddit and all the seedy forums that sometimes have ppl that were at the location with insider info. i texted friends with parents employed at the local hospitals to see if they knew anything about the persons age/gender. nothing. so i tried not to think about it because i had so little info. and besides, what are the odds with the number of suicidal people, right? which i unfortunately know because my mom works with that rn.

anyway my friend texts me two hours later saying she just woke up from a nap. thank fuck. thank god. shit. the relief i felt. like it was really in the back of my mind. i was preparing for the worst. i was backtracking through our conversations from just a few days ago, looking for "signs". combing through what i remembered her saying. just ... shit. fucking awful.

i'm so glad she's okay but at the same time she isn't okay she's depressed and has been for a long time and she's not getting much support from her family or from the lacking mental healthcare system. and this forced me to think about her possible passing and SHIT. i can't handle that. i feel like i'm mourning her in advance. we were best friends in high school yet we were never the types to talk about our feelings. i know she has other friends for that, and i know she has two people she's relying on for support the most while she's going through this. but i'm still so scared. today was just awful. i don't cry a lot anymore these days but when i got home the waterworks just started even though my paranoid ass kept telling me it was performative as always (to who??? i was alone???!!).

i'm also thinking of all the people who heard about today, who immediately texted/called their friend or family member who they worry about. and the relief when they get an answer on the other end. but i'm also thinking of the person or people who didn't get a reply back today. who's calls didn't get though. or maybe they got a call from an unknown number. i don't really know how it works.

i feel like i do a lot of perpetual waiting for calls like that. i know i'll never be ready for what i'll hear, but the knowledge that it's coming, the call to let me know that a loved one has died, is coming, it's always in the back of my mind. another close friend to me has a brain tumor. she's made it clear that we have to be ready for the worst, and so i'm left waiting for (dreading) that call. my grandmother, i found out last week, is apparently very sick. so i'm waiting for that call as well.

but i even worry for my friends and family members who aren't sick/at risk. i keep having dreams about my little sisters dying, and the aftermath. in all the scenarios i've run through of various people in my life dying suddenly (including myself), it never goes well for everyone else around them. i always see it as something driving people apart. because of the pain. i don't know if that's true, though. i've seen the opposite. i guess that's a good thing? i read somewhere that suicide rates in america dropped considerably right after 9/11, because suddenly everyone was reaching out to each other to make sure they were okay. reminded of mortality.

the last call i got wasn't a call at all. it was my mom waking me up early in the morning, and then a somber conversation around the dinner table, everyone sobbing. no one made eye contact.

the call before that wasn't a call at all. it was 5 missed calls while i was at work, and then a text from my dad framed in a way that suggested that he though i already heard the news from someone else. i still had ten minutes left on my shift and i finished it in a daze. reality didn't hit until weeks after the funeral.

the call today turned out to be just a close call (ha-ha *sobs some more*) but fuck i hate living knowing that i one day will have lost everyone

anyways happy valentines day if anyone's reading this. gonna crash now.

#mine #suicide ment

[dumbassscout]

i see a lot of 13 yr olds on tumblr these days, so id like to share some advice i wish i had known using tumblr at age 13.

this is also probably not an original idea from me lol, someone has got to have done this before. i would usually put this under a cut but ive decided not to for now

be aware that this site is like NOTORIOUSLY harmful. you may think you’re above it or too mature for it to hurt you, but trust me, you aren’t. since you will probably not be stopped by that warning, maybe take some precautions/keep some stuff in mind to stay safe.

i had tumblr savior for my first experiences with the site. im pretty sure it still works and it’s regularly updated, so take a look into that. it blocks posts with certain keywords from being seen on your radar, and can also push/allow posts with other keywords to always be shown. i would advise getting it or a similar extension to custom block triggering/harmful content.

don’t put other/more popular users in your fandom/community on a pedestal. they’re people behind a blog, just like you are. don’t feel intimidated by the people in your own community, they are just people the same way you are a person. they can mess up at times, and so can you.

making friends is a great thing on this site, but keep an eye on new online friends’ behaviors. it is exciting to meet new people, but you want to be aware of toxic friends. same goes for your mutuals. overall, keep people on this site at an arm’s length until you’ve gotten to know them enough personally to know that they’re genuine people. as you get older you can relax on this, but as a young teen it’s better to be hyperaware than to be blissfully ignorant as you get hurt.

onto more broad things, your theme doesn’t have to be perfect. you dont have to make a custom html/edited html website theme for your blog, you can leave it as tumblr default. if you enjoy organizing that, then by all means go ahead! but don’t feel like it is necessary for your blog, most of the time you will get a new theme set up and check on it on a month and find that it actually looks terrible to you. if you’d rather just have it as a basic/default site, then that is perfectly normal.

your blog’s theme/topic is your choice, and can be uniquely you. some people have many blogs for many things, just a few, or just one with everything. it is up to you how you want to do it! the themes you choose, topics, are up to you. fads and trends are cool but finding what works for you personally is way more fun. your blog is supposed to be fun. you are supposed to enjoy using tumblr. don’t compromise that for a trend. make your blog(s) however you want, however it pleases you. it can feel pressuring to have a perfect blog, but it’s better to just make your appearance the way it would make you happy.

also, tag systems are awesome! but they are not necessary unless you’re tagging trigger warnings. always tag those! but i know a lot of people have personal tagging systems to organize their blog, which is totally cool! but again, personal tag systems are not necessary, and if they feel unnecessary to you, don’t use them. but again, tag triggering content, especially if you are asked to.

archiving/deleting/creating new blogs is a whole other process. some people like to start with a clean slate every time they switch to a new fandom, and let their old user be archived or deleted. this is perfectly respectable (and probably the right thing to do) personally, i just switch my blog over to whatever im feeling that month and people can unfollow if they no longer enjoy my blog (i dont have that big of a following on this blog). it’s really a personal decision, and if you want to restart your blog you will know when to/if you want to.

reblog art, but never “repost” it. aka dont take the image and post it on your own blog, just reblog it from the original poster. its common sense but not everyone knows? idk

if you end up having some or many followers, make sure to check yourself. appreciate your followers, respect them. they are people with blogs. just like you. don’t let a high number inflate your ego way out of proportion, it’s easy to fall into that sense of power.

respect people’s pronouns. even if you for some reason have a disagreement with them, or you don’t understand why/how their identity works, just use the correct pronouns that they ask you to. it costs you zero dollars and zero cents, and is incredibly respectful

as a young teen, don’t get involved/let yourself get buried in tumblr-wide discourse. examples of this include the bi vs pan debate, flag discourse etc. most ppl who i know who were attentive to things similar to that at a young age ended up being affected negatively by it. pay some attention to what pertains to you and also pay attention to what you can identify as right or wrong, but don’t let people’s opinions on your dash influence you in times of discourse. go and look at both sides of those kinds of debates if you’re interested, and form an opinion from there.

speaking of which, sometimes people will just post their takes on literally anything and youll come across it. take everything with a grain of salt unless there is links to proof (if applicable, not always needed). sometimes bad takes just havent had someone to reblog and disprove yet.

speaking of discourse, there is always discourse on this site in every fandom, every community. form your own opinions always, but keep your moral compass in mind. don’t compromise your morals and sense of right and wrong to enjoy certain fan-media. if something seems off, it probably is.

people make mistakes, and if someone did something kind of shitty/had a terrible take/belief (not irredemably shitty, those ppl do not need ur attention) and they genuinely apologize for the shit they did and learn from it, move on. leave some shit in the past, holding grudges isnt good for your mental health and people change. but again, always take things with a grain of salt.

you dont need a high follower count to get traction on your posts. it might help, but you can have a low follower count with high interaction or a high follower count with little to know interaction. the best advice i have is to tag what it is relevant to, whether it’s a fandom, aesthetic, etc and people who regularly check those tags will find it.

if you ever get anon hate for some reason, just delete it from ur inbox n move on. ppl who send anon hate want to see you post it and respond to it. if they said some really really MEAN shit though, it may be best to talk to a friend about it for comfort, or take a break from tumblr for a hot min. most importantly, report it, close your ask box/change it to no anonymous asks.

if at some point you choose to voice your opinion about a highly debated topic at the time, be aware that people who disagree might attack you for it. be aware, and be safe about it.

a lot of people swear by xkit. i have never used it in my life, but from the looks of it, it makes using tumblr so much more bearable. it breaks sometimes with tumblr updates, but apparently it’s worth it. again, look into it, but it’s not necessary to use the site.

do niche shit. start sideblogs without a plan in mind. make aus, make art, make writing, or make nothing at all. reblog the things you love wherever you want them to be reblogged. comment on people’s creations if you love them, they probably would love to hear how much you enjoyed it. appreciate how wonderful the better part of this site is, enjoy the free access to view and appreciate others’ creations and ideas.

i would put a lot more on here, but i feel like 20 is probably too much already. if anyone has anything to add, definitely rb with ur addition

overall, do the things you love on here, keep yourself safe, and be respectful of others.

#i dont shut up

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep16: Rex and Weevil Do Not Understand “Rock Bottom”

Hey guys.

Hey.

So... kind of crazy out there, right?

Well, you know what they say. When life gives you lemons, you watch Netflix.

Anyway, Yugioh is racing down this canyon that should be going up alongside the 101 and through the middle of many cities. Don’t worry about it.

And then I found out the name of a card I haven’t seen yet and wow it’s a name.

I’m really glad that Rex Raptor, dinosaur enthusiast, has just no idea how to name dinosaurs and does so like a 6 year old child. Hornsaurus.

(read more under the cut)

So this episode is mostly about Rex and Weevil’s tragic backstory, and thankfully, it’s really not that tragic. We’ve had SO MANY bizarre and weird backstories under our belt, that to have a completely normal one is just...wild to me. They’re so freakin normal.

And on the way, our train just...

OK Train...anyway, I’ll do my best to show which scenes are flash back and which are not, but like bear with me because it flashes back like every other scene it feels like.

So Rex waxes long about that very short time in which he and Weevil were the best ever duelists in Japan (other than Kaiba, I guess, who they failed to mention in this flashback.)

(I used to have a very soft performance fleece sweater the exact same shade as Weevil’s jacket there, popped collar and everything, with piping outline. Don’t judge me, it was the 00′s, I’m just shocked that Weevil also shopped at Old Navy.)

(However I have no idea what’s going on with Rex’s three layers of clashing outfit styles that he has going on. A turtleneck under a thick button up jacket under an open fringe jacket is so much of a 90′s vibe.)

Up until now, bro has been PRETTY SURE every episode that Rex and Weevil are originally from America. I don’t know how I feel about being so right on the money about this one when the episode outright said that they’re from Japan. I don’t really want to out-Yugioh my brother, because at some point, I’ll accidentally let slip that in writing this blog I have accidentally gained all Yugioh knowledge, just like Noah did that one time when he was stuffed into that brain orb.

Just please don’t don’t ask me how this game works, I still have absolutely no idea.

Weevil and Rex had adoring fans in two-shaded polos exactly just like the type I used to wear in high school. But, their fans all left them the moment Weevil lost one single game against Yugi Muto.

Harsh. But granted, I feel like the people of Domino have rabbit memories and if you aren’t actively in the news every day because your blimp got abducted by sea pirates, then who the hell is EVER going to know who you are?

But youknow, Rex and Weevil are pretty sure that dodging getting murdered by Pegasus was actually their last shot at fame. It’s over forever. They’re done. Done until they beat either Joey or Yugi which...very specific, but, it would make you somewhat famous if you did that by simultaneously destroying the Caltrain.

And Weevil is like gunning for the King of Games title but...apparently no one in this episode wanted to mention to Weevil that the “King of Games” moniker actually went to Raphael?

That he needs to beat Raphael...not Yugi Muto?

Nobody?

Nobody feels like mentioning that neither Yami nor Yugi could possibly still be King of Games and that Weevil has no really good reason to be here? I mean it would save Weevil a lot of time. It would also save me a lot of time. We could just walk off this train and go back to what we were all doing before this happened, but nah, lets keep the lie going, because apparently Yami can’t bear to tell the truth, just like his host.

Waiiiit, isn’t Rebecca the King of Games because she beat Yugi in S1?

It’s the freakin Malfroy/Elder wand, it’ll be important in Ch 40 I’m sure of it. I’m sure they’re not going to just...forget...all of the people that beat Yugi before.

Man. Maybe that’s why Yugi is so hell bent on keeping tabs on Rebecca? Just to youknow...make sure she doesn’t tell anyone that she hella beat him that one time because otherwise Kaiba would have lost his freakin mind (again) that Yugi lost that title basically the same afternoon he came back from Pegasus’ island.

Also Rex and Weevil once charged for headshots and this makes them vile, terrible people for some reason.

Apparently this is a bad practice? I mean if you’re famous enough please charge for head shots, you need to make money between playing cards. Take it from this jaded artist, always sell out so you can save money for when you will absolutely get carpal tunnel.

Whatever. Back to Rex who is certain that he is not famous anymore because he lost to Joey.

S4 and still everyone is certain that Joey is bad at cards. Joey will just never be free from this.

It was beautiful anime food for like ten seconds until he did this. How dare. Literally though, how did he do that? Was that burger made out of potato chips?

Can we talk about what a freakin crime it is I can’t watch my Nick at Night retro shows on Netflix or Hulu? Like hell I’m going to get a third streaming service so I can watch and admire how bad “I Love Lucy” aged. I want to see how incredibly off-putting Fonzie is as an adult. But nah. Not even allowed. You can only watch Cheers.

Cheers. What am I? 65? Cheers wasn’t on Nick at Night. My Mom watched Cheers. Gross.

This show trying to convince me so hard that Rex and Weevils lowest point wasn’t when they were 5 seconds away from being set on fire and having their soul removed by Maxamillion Pegasus.

Like for reals, the lowest point for ANYONE (except for the Ishtars) on this show was when they were trapped on that island, without any camping supplies, surrounded by human skulls, Bakura pre-exorcism, and so many other duelists who were probably going to eat them had the tournament gone 24 more hours than it had.

The island that also had a basement that was entirely full of cultists who absolutely murdered a guy right in front of us.

Like when they finally got out of the island’s huge ass forest, their dinner included a soup filled with Pegasus’ eyes.

I would have gotten pissed on by like 70 stray dogs to get off that island, y’all.

So one of the best things about this blog is I don’t have to worry about the restraint of a.) looking professional b.) the fear of sharing my actual real deal opinion. Everywhere else I post, I can’t share anything. I’ve come to terms with this, and so I hide my hot takes deep, deep within this Yugioh blog and the only people who suspect my art rage are like...y’all in the corner of Tumblr who do not care about what I’m talking about.

++++++++++++THIS IS MY HUGE RANT ABOUT ART POLITICS AND ART BITTERNESS FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS. WE’RE QUARANTINING SO MUCH OVER HERE DUE TO THE VIRUS THAT I AM GOING A LITTLE BIT HOUSE CRAZY+++++++++++++++

But like MAN I need to mention something. Both Joey and Rex are completely off base. Both of them.

Like I’ll be real, because of the sudden extra time I have on my hands, I was originally ranting quite a bit about art culture and stuff and I will admit it was projecting somewhat onto a TV show that was written before the recession and the gig economy basically came and laid a huge dump across the creative industry.

However, I really, really, really don’t like it when people naively say “I’m successful because I did the research, I did the work, and then I got a following despite doing no marketing at all,” LIKE HELL YOU DID, DUDE. And there’s certain places I go where this is the mantra of a hell ton of ppl who don’t believe in luck, and I have to just suck it in because they succeeded at a young age. Because inversely, if anyone doesn’t succeed right away--clearly they don’t work hard enough, right?

I won’t dig into real world stuff because that’s...the real world and the real world is a bummer, but even in the universe of Yugioh there’s this crazy disparity in duelers that the people on the top refuse to acknowledge and the people on the bottom have absolutely no way to cope with so they become insanely bitter about it.

Mai has mentioned that despite all of her hard work and success--because she isn’t the top 4 duelists of Kaiba’s tourney--no one knows who she freakin is. The card industry is so toxic, that even KAIBA dropped out.

And even without Kaiba to compete against anymore, Mai still wasn’t able to get in there to fill that void. The void that also has Marik and Odion in it, despite the fact that I’m pretty sure Marik will never touch a card ever again and might be back to living underground or on a boat in the middle of no-where. And we don’t even need to mention Bakura, right? Bakura who should have also been here to fill the void of fame, but his face probably only comes out fuzzy on camera like people haunted by that girl from the Ring. So we’ll just ignore Bakura, that makes sense, I can accept that canon.

But really...it’s just Joey and Yugi at the top of the crop when there should have been room for at least 4.

So, it’s interesting that the Oricalchos in this situation is the “get me popular quick” drug that will somehow give Rex and Weevil what they need for automatic success because I see people desperately looking for this SO MUCH online. I have seen so many post “This is how I got 100000 followers in 100 days,” and it’s always the same story that isn’t so much about hard work, but more how to game a broken system until all other competitors are invisible. And then there’s the hidden factor about...luck...that really offends people although we all know that it exists.

But just remember I’m not allowed to have this opinion that luck...exists...So if anyone asks, I never said this.

And also...if Rex and Weevil had any support up until now from these kids who have been stuffing them in the trunk for over a dozen episodes, they wouldn’t have done any of this.

So talking as a jaded Millennial, I’m not gonna judge you if you take your Oricalchos, if you know what I mean. Everyone has their reasons, and no one’s too good not to ever do it, lets be real.

+++++++++++++++END OF THIS RANT, WOW, I WANT TO SAY THAT WHILE SLAPPING A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE IN A GENTLE MANNER+++++++++++++

So I realized something. This cliff face is sort of an iconic train, but it’s the wrong train.

This is the Amtrak in the middle of Nevada/Utah, pretty sure. I know that shade of orange. I’ve done the Nevada drive a lot.

And part of the reason I’m even sleuthing into this is because as an artist I like to see where art inspiration comes from. It doesn’t just come from a void--they clearly did research and I just want to find out...how it happened.

So anyway, like I said last time, the Amtrak is in charge of the Caltrain management, although the Caltrain is not part of Amtrak. And so you get similar paint jobs--it’s just that Amtrak has blue topped cars, and the Caltrain cars are typically red. Yugioh safely did red, white and blue, which both cars do, to an extent, being American trains.

It’s possible that they decided to look up scenic trains in California and were like “this one looks neat.” This one is also named the “California Zephyr” which makes it seem super Californian but in actuality it goes from Emeryville, California to Chicago. Only problem is that Emeryville is North of Oakland, and we’re supposed to be taking the train “to the airport” when the airports are in Oakland or San Mateo. This train doesn’t go to the airport. You just drove by the airport.

This train also doesn’t go to Florida. Chicago is North, way north. This train exists to be a slow, scenic train for old tourists who want to sleep in cramped spaces or jaded millennials writing their award winning novel. It has no other purpose.

So, it doesn’t at all match anything story wise...but it looks cool. They would never take this train if the world was going to end, and Rebecca wouldn’t know it exists, but, it looks cool.

But anyway, onward to the next episode. I’ll be kind of bunking in my home for a while since my entire area basically shut down, so maybe I’ll get the next updates done earlier than usual? Maybe even catch up on my backlog? hm. Possibilities.

And if you just got here, this is all the Yugioh recaps in chrono order.

#Yugioh #ygo #Yu-Gi-Oh #recap #photo recap #episode recap #yugi muto #yami #train #joey wheeler #tristan taylor #rex raptor #weevil underwood #S4 #Ep16

[janiedean]

Hi. I don’t know if you’re aware that J*hn B*yega posted a video on his instagram account showing him fighting against several offensive tweets (with the twitter handles being shown clearly). Apparently some of the tweets came from reylos. As a result, many reylos considered this act as an aggressive move, even equating it to doxxing. However, some film critics opined that John has the right to respond to the attacks, and that actors shouldn’t feel obliged to accept abuse. (1/2)

I’m kind of in the middle. Though I agree that no one should just accept the abuse thrown at them, maybe it’d be better if people stay away from social media during tumultuous times. What do you think? (2/2)

first: guys I love you but pls if it’s this discourse don’t send the asks with the entire names I don’t wanna end up in the dude’s mobile tag thanks XD

that said: I already stated my position on the topic here and it hasn’t changed whatsoever from those basics. 

secondly: j/ohn really needs to quit instagram because that shit isn’t fighting back - most of those tweets aren’t even offensive, at least one of those handles from what I heard is someone underage and sorry but whatever it is that they told him... he has millions of followers and he’s a famous actor. these people are literally no one and by posting their handles in full he’s basically welcomed people to harass them. like. sorry but that doesn’t fly, especially because this specific shitstorm isn’t because of the people who actually tweeted at him racist stuff in the past, it’s at ppl shipping r/eylo.

now: ppl shipping r/eylo have mostly supported him/finn as far as I’ve seen, are mostly women and a lot of them aren’t white/are lgbt. they were pissed a that rey comment and he made it about r/eylo vs finn/rey or whatever and that already was a shit move, and criticizing someone for having expressed a rather crude opinion on a public platform where people could see him is not abuse gdi, especially since most of that criticism was fairly polite in the beginning and it was directed at someone these people actually liked.

now, as I stated in that post: no one should talk online abuse and tbqh I’m a very strong perpetrator of the idea that if actors/content creators and so on receive abuse/death threats/the likes they should go and immediately press charges against that person and be backed up by the studio because it’s not like just because you can’t lose audience then you have to stand social media abuse. I’m 100% for it. but you don’t put anyone on a public platform like that when you are famous and they aren’t, because 99,9% of the cases people will pile on that person. in this case it’s not even racists and the fact that people are falling for it is imvho 1984-like shit, but like... let’s say that he did that with racist people on facebook with name and surname. let’s say those people have children and/or relatives with children who aren’t themselves racist or who aren’t at fault if their parent is a dickhead but people find out idk where their kids go to school and send them death threats or smth because they could. like, one thing is directly pressing charges against the single person harassing you, another is doing something that can damage their relatives or family or whatever and it doesn’t matter how vile a person is, you can’t know if their relatives and whatnot are as vile as them. this is already a bad climate, no one should fuel the fire and send people on even more dogpiling. this is enabling assholes and j/ohn is really not coming out great here. also: I don’t think you should avoid SM because of idiots, but again, if you’re rich and famous you can a) block them, b) press charges, c) ask the studio to back you up. if you’re not, you can’t. and if you’re rich and famous you have the responsibility to not fuel fandom wars, period.

and the fact that john came up with that idiotic vid just after poor joonas tagged him to do the ben s/olo challenge for charity is just... not making him look good.

but tldr: giving your fans the blessing to go after other fans who are in 90% of the cases are a) women, b) nonstraight, c) nonwhite, d) a combination of two or all of these and who have d) been harassed nonstop since 2015 for shipping the canon movies ship is just idiotic and not kingly nor anything we should cheer for. I said what I said.

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #sw wank for ts #tros spoilers for ts #reylo for ts #jesus christ sdklgjd #Anonymous #ask post

[the-grinchs-ex-wife]

scorpio for the zodiac thing. bonus for ace scorpio bc ppl don’t think aces can be born in late oct- mid nov apparently?

Scorpio.. this sign in really hard for me to judge because I know one Scorpio who I adore with my whole soul and one I despise. The thing about this sign is that, similarly to Libras, they are hard to get close too. They aren’t hard to get close to in the same way that Libras are, though. While Libras are difficult because they charm and treat everyone similarly, it’s very easy to make enemies with a Scorpio. You make one wrong move, and it’s done. You may not even know what you did wrong. Those born under this sign tend to have a rough exterior, however when you get to know them they are some of the greatest and most loyal people out there

Overall good: very loyal, sweet, lovely people when you get to know them

Overall bad: may think people are out to get them

Overall opinion on the sign: used to hate this sign, actually. It’s one of my favorites now, though💗💗

As for ace Scorpios, as far as I know I don’t know any asexual scorpios and despite my efforts to find any information online, I haven’t been able to find much other than people stating the irony of it all :/ I deeply apologize for not being able to find anything, 🥺 however I will keep looking and if I do then I will add it onto this post✔️

#astrology #scorpio #zodiac #zodiac signs #♏️

[unproduciblesmackdown]

oh, continuing on from too-long, incoherent post made hours ago when nobody was online, obvs, No-Friends Club members put ur hands in—

one weird thing i remembered is the Experience of like, time to put interpersonal boundaries in place by setting boundaries on My Own Emotions, you know what i’m saying! like for example the Cold Math issue of having no friends, where like, you have a few ppl who talk with you, and just like, thanks to proportions and statistics alone, on your end its like thank god for these noble few who are each like, 490% of the good interactions you get in life, the beautiful line of defense between you and utter isolation, and on their end its gonna be like, you’re a person they talk to sometimes. and that’s too easy to forget sometimes so i just commit to remembering it, and like, deliberately Not getting overenthused/overinvested about it, cuz it’s just not fun to sorta put the cart before the horse and then have the repeated realization that you’re really not going to be an official friend or whatever or that significant a figure in other ppl’s lives. rough!! you know what i’m talking about re: this experience?

it’s just tricky and i don’t even entirely have a handle on it to this day (tho a way better handle on it than when i had to figure out how this situation worked years ago) in part cuz like, actually, despite having been isolated in varying degrees for like, basically my whole life except less during college tho i often had Big Lonely problems then too, despite that and also despite anxiety ishes (issues) and discomfort with social situations sometimes for other reasons, i’m like, actually a real social person when its the kind of social setup i Can be comfortable with, which is a decent variety imo. and i really like people actually, if they arent terrible, and i really like interacting with them If They Arent Terrible, and in theory i would Love to have friends and that’s always been true. and im an enthusiastic and passionate person, what can i say, so it’s a funky time having to reign that in when yknow, generally, like “oh im excited to have a friend” should be a wholly positive sentiment that’s not gonna burn you as long as the other person isn’t evil. but! i do gotta rein in that sentiment. like settle down. like i was saying before about not “hoping” to have friends technically even tho of course i’d always like to and like, if anything erring on the side of caution and not being like, oh yeah these ppl who interact on occasion / amicably with me are my friends. undersell myself eh. if i have friends i’ll try to figure it out after the fact rather than overestimate connections and be disappointed ad infinitum or what have u

also! bring it tf in for ppl with “weird” social skills! losers since preschool or whenever you started being around groups of your age peers! having the intangible Vibe that ppl pick up on and you get sort of socially written off or the Sort-Of-Contempt which is loads of fun. and kind of operating on slightly different frequencies communication wise, or having your social / behavioral cues be misread b/c its not the “normal” meaning, all that kinda thing, so that your Trying To Be Friendly might be Weird In A Bad Way to other ppl, or your social discomfort getting read as “they don’t like us” instead of “they aren’t comfortable with some aspects of this situation”, etc etc etc.....it’s a bummer cuz like, thank god for online socialization b/c in a lot of ways for a lot of reasons its so much more doable for me, but there’s still ways it has downsides, like, i don’t like groupchats which is like, synonymous with We’re Actual Friends Now, so, tough break for me there, and i don’t often start talking to ppl b/c i don’t assume any particular individual would be interested in that and it takes ages for it to occur to me that anyone might, and i don’t think i always am that good at writing my thoughts and also just like In Person i often don’t know what/how to say things even with zero pressure and also just like in person i can be sort of cagey and Underwhelming......whereas IN person i can actually be chatty as fuck and often overtalkative and i like to Get Silly and all that shit. not to say im not underwhelming in person, too! cuz yeah most of the time im overly quiet and people are surprised when i talk or when i make reference to the fact i have Big Opinions and big emotions b/c they thought i just had an equally quiet inner world i guess lol.......like yeah!! on one hand i’m like woops im fucking this up cuz im holding back and on the other hand its like uh oh now im making a mess cuz when i dont hold back im generally not In Accordance With Ppls Tastes And Preferences cuz im being too much. sort of lose-lose-lose. me and cats are the same. also i ought to be better at initiating conversation but i’m crap at it cuz im like, lowkey constant assumption that if ppl arent talking to me they don’t want to and it’d be annoying to say something, which is not Correct. but also i’m always nervous and nervous about ppl. oh well, we’ll get there maybe

anyways i like when characters have no friends and it’s not for lack of trying/wanting them!! it’s a weird experience and ya love that Relatable Material. like its funny alana calling everyone “acquaintances” cuz im out here doing that already lol my friendly acquaintances......like ideally yeah it’d be nice to have close friends but i do appreciate Being A Casual Fixture On The Perimeters Of Someone’s Life And Maybe Sometimes I Get To Be A Small Positive Experience In Their Existence for what it is, but it Is fairly depressing being the fleeting NPC in the outer / tangential orbits of mostly everybody who knows you. c’est la vie!!!! it is both good and not good. anyway back to acquaintances. yeah like seeing that “earnest efforts to have friends but it fails for various reasons” is fun cuz like yeah!! population: Same! though i’ve never really been like that specific character. i also like the book “the murder of bindy mackenzie” and the character is kind of like alana’s too. an academically supersuccessful girl who tries to reach out to her peers but her methods don’t work and she’s misreading others and others are misreading her and she’s distressed about various aspects of her life and also, someone’s trying to kill her. though i wasn’t too much like those other characters either. i feel like luna lovegood makes the list, on account of she like, is just nice and friendly but nobody likes her because of apparently weird interests which shouldnt be considered weird but i guess that was a probably-accidental commentary on how arbitrary Social Acceptability can be, and also because she is sort of unusual in terms of her average demeanor, and that’s not really reason not to like her but not only does she have no friends but also people are just sort of mean to her. feels real man! fondly recalling the times i’ve had to realize in retrospect that people were actually making fun of me...etc etc...other depressing things......and shoutout to the black suits for having that collective representation of varying ways to be a weird dumbass with Issues who nobody likes. very meta that i’ve wished i could be in a shitty for-fun high school garage band for the Hanging Out With Friends aspect of it alone. nato is also great representation for “superlative academic performance but doesn’t actually care about school and only cares about like, a snail he saw today, and being a weird goofaround loser 24/7”

where was i going with this!! just adding on more ideas i guess. Tumblr Mobile Don’t Eat My Post. other lifelong members of the no-friends-and-it-sucks club @ me!! struggling with figuring out how to at least feel more okay with your crappy social experience because there’s no real way to feel good about it but we’re at least trying to feel less bad, @ me! we’re valid and we’re Didn’t Ask For This But Here We Are

[herotheshiro]

so in abt 2017-18, i came across this manga called sneaky red by thanat. most of the 1st volume, translated, got posted online but i knew there was a continuation. while i don’t remember too much specifics abt my reaction to it then, i distinctly remember being affected by it and by that i mean ... liking it. i remember that i had the feeling of wanting to read the 2nd volume and even a year ago (almost the date!) on this very blog i noted that i “wanna read all of [their] works so bad” and at this point i had only ever read sneaky red so going off of that, i liked it apparently.

fast forward 2-3 years to tonight, where i finally forced myself to finish reading the series since the free month-long futekiya trial is ending soon. and well ... i thought i would be satisfied afterwards since i’ve wanted to finish reading this series for literal years but all i felt was ... disappointment. i’ve had the futekiya subscription for abt 1/2 a month already but i’ve been putting off reading sneaky red bc i mean i’ve read the 1st volume, i knew it was abt abuse pretty much and i wasn’t really into reading something so depressing (i had to reread the 1st volume in this read bc i legit have not touched the manga since whenever i read it last). and ... yeah it is a downer to read with little positive payoff. [putting under cut bc WOW this got long]

let’s get this straight, my perception of what this author is trying to do is this: two guys meet, one of them (A) has anger/emotion management issues and is quick to react with his fists and the other one (B) just so happens to get off at pain (...no further comment at this) ... which is coincidentally a “nice” set-up but A wants to turn over a new leaf bc eventually he feels bad whaling on B all the time ... except suddenly turning over a new leaf when you’ve been living and thinking a certain way for almost two entire decades is not that easy. which alright tl;dr, an abuser/someone quick to physical violence trying to reform. a rather heavy topic to tackle for your debut work ... and unfortunately i don’t think this author really succeeds in doing so. 1st volume was written in 2013 and is their debut work and it definitely feels like a new author work ... the story developments are kind of unclear at times and misaki (i think that was his name?) just accepting getting beaten up by a rando is just so incredibly sad to read bc like ... wtf? i cannot figure out how they came to love each other. i mean haru i can kind of see bc they kind of implied that misaki was one of the 1st ppl to have hope in him even though he himself felt like he was a lost cause, but misaki i just have no fucking idea what happened there. like lust turning into love? idk man falling in love from physical abuse frankly makes no fucking sense esp since it’s not even implied that misaki has low self-esteem or something that would make him accept this treatment. i legitimately would like to go back in time to meet me from 2-3 years and ask them what the fucking hell made me like this manga bc it’s messed up and the topics aren’t even handled that well! this is truly a manga that somehow depicts abuse as being shitty but also romanticizes it somehow?? even though i legit just read it a few hours ago i’m starting to mix up what happened in vol 1 and 2 so let’s just move on to vol 2 now.

vol 2 was definitely more put together in terms of story progression than vol 1 (i mean, being done 3 yrs later i would hope so). i did like it a bit more than vol 1 and there were some cute scenes bw misaki and haru but ... the scenes where misaki still went to see haru even after some seriously messed up scenes being like ‘i still love you’ ... really rubbed me the wrong way bc it kind of felt like a ‘you can heal abusive behavior through love’. i mean yes haru acknowledged his behavior and treatment of misaki was absolute shit and that he’d try to change, but also that ch where they kind of just substituted bdsm as a more socially acceptable way for haru to hit/hurt misaki during sex? BRO THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS !! i mean there were some scenes that felt realistic (misaki instinctively defending himself when haru raised his hand) but at the same time it also felt like the author didn’t really know what they were doing. like i get it, haru is supposed to be a nice person who just so happens to react badly to things but ... these kinds of things you kind of legit need professional help for. simply learning to depend more on friends/SOs, completely cutting out your toxic fam from your life... that kind of stuff is not really enough to help you heal. i mean this is a japanese manga, and ik east asian culture has ... thoughts on mental health care but the way the story was presented just didn’t feel realistic at all. yes they did show haru struggling to hold his emotions in check, i did like the scenes where haru was in his own head and saw his brother berating him for his behavior, and i do appreciate they didn’t merely just 180 change his personality and pretend it was easy to change for the better but ... idk. i just simply did not enjoy reading this story and about this relationship, i felt like their issues never really got resolved or are moving in a more constructive direction. i mean i guess this happens irl (bc ppl do stay in abusive relationships despite how bad it gets) but like i just had no fucking idea what misaki even saw in haru in the first place which sounds mean to haru but it’s true ?? like you gotta be attracted to SOMETHING first right, is it just bc he’s nice sometimes (this is worrying bc i’m someone who is weak to ppl simply being nice to me but also bruh if someone is beating my ass idk if i can be attracted to that) ?? it legit at times reminded me of bj alex which is an extremely unfortunate comparison in my book and you know what i just remembered that misaki was attracted to haru partly bc of his looks so uh yeah the comparison holds up.

i don’t even know if i can say i’m glad i read through these 2 volumes of sneaky red. apparently a 3rd volume is getting published next month and i’m like WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT ?? i saw a graphic of the side pairing (story covered in motion emotion) on the back cover which i got a lil excited abt bc i am intrigued by that pairing but like ... what else is there to talk abt re: sneaky red’s pairing. they’ve gotten together, they’re growing up and dealing with adult worries (jobs), and they’re moving in a more “positive” direction with their relationship (i.e., haru is opening up more to misaki) while attempting to hurdle the lingering issue of haru’s abuse -- what else is there to cover ... i think this artist really likes this couple which like makes sense for them since they’re their first published OCs but it’s prob just gonna be more senseless writing. the translated caption was like ‘the sequel of the famous debut work is here!’ and i’m like sneaky red is popular? this very unclearly written thing? but then again ppl liked k!lling st@alking and some of harada’s works that are OUT THERE are popular so i guess the fetish for abuse/hurt is strong ...

i didn’t really say anything coherent in this post bc deadass i don’t even remember what the fuck i read even though i read this manga like mere hrs ago which goes to show how much of an impact the story had on me (hint none). abuser stories are usually pretty hit or miss stories i feel, although tbh i don’t think i’ve ever read a hit story because the abuse is usually romanticized or somehow resolved without any issue which is frankly unrealistic and kind of dangerous to be telling people. i admit i don’t have personal experience with abuse (thankfully) so i guess i can’t really say stuff abt how realistic it is or not but ... just very disappointed with the story. i am still struggling to figure out what i liked abt this manga so much back then. i do like the art style a lot bc it’s unique compared to what you see in other BLs but the author’s writing is just very unclear sometimes ... it’s definitely improved since 2013 but ... hah. it was not really an enjoyable read. i legit wanted to stop reading at times but i’ve wanted to finish it for so long so i pushed on ... maybe i should reread so i can more definitively say what exactly i disliked but i don’t wanna read this again.

#sometimes i look at how long my posts are and i'm like there are ppl out there who READ all of this? #like i mean I'M forced to as the writer but ... far too many words. but i got a lot of things to say sometimes even though i'm prob repeatin #i used to tag the author but ik they have a tumblr and idk if i want them to see my posts bashing them lol #esp since i don't say anything constructive #i mean... i didn't censor their name though. yike #reading

[bloojayoolie]

Apparently, Dumb, and Funny: Ppl: uses the word pedophile incorrectly as an umbrells term Me: hey here is actually an unbrella term It'a minor attracted person Ppl: EW PEDOPHILES ARE TRYING TO HIDE THE FACz THEYRE PEDO scuM BY Ppl: EW E GROSS DISGUSTING UGHGROSSEMEWDISGROSSTING .. 2 Anonymous asked You're Disgusting Mmmmmmmmmm 1 note .. Can you believe the ones calling this site "tumblr a daly basis, but ti ones sending the suicide bait? #doro speaks Anonymous asked You're against the death penalty no matter what? So i guess possibly putting more Nope No death penalty. Not one person on this earth deserves to die. Nothing else is 100 % in destroying choice except taking someone's life. It is the ultimate form of violence ve in the value of human life is static and non-negotiable. I'm not gonna gamble on s notes Anonymous asked can't believe you're trying to defend your pedophilia by making it seem like a sexuality. I really hope you're getting therapy and the help that you need, its important to acknowledge your attraction but don't accept it and think its okay holy fuck It's not a sexuality, but it's a paraphilia of mine, so it's a PART of my sexuaity. A small part at that I'm really tired of people using the word sexuality wrong A person's sexuality incorporates all of a homoflexible actualy) isn't my sexuality either it's my sexual orentation They're both iust narts of it. just answered the therapy thing recently: httplidorothemap.tumblr.com/post148480595214 Also, in the face of something that you can't get rid of, would you rather accept it and move on with your life or reject it and sufer? And if their heart is in the right place (as in they're non offending), rejecting it hurts more people than accepting it does. 2 ... osberend dorothemap sicknastypedotakedown STOP down with pedos down with people misusing the dwe meme completely unironically against a group that is ACTUALLY THREATENED WITH GENOCIDE HOLY SHIT I can honestly say, I've never been angry enough with someone that I ilegally download a tv drama clip off YouTube or ilegally download the whole episode online, open a video editor, cut down the clip. and spend however long pasting my icon and that person's icon onto the characters faces all out of spite And I can't say that makes e sad. What a petty existence Worth a good laugh tho. edoro speaks #dumb shit ... But the thing is, dwc was "funny" because it was cis people trying to be oppressed when they really really aren't witha dumb story, I said they're misusing it because there are iterally vigilantes that kil pedophiles. This isn't funny or ironic because it isn't some dumb fictional tumblr story, it is a real living nightmare for outed pedophiles. The stuation is backwards. It's less like DWH and more like the assholes that went and made 'down with trans" and said 'now how does it feel? completely missing And yes, people have the right to hate their oppressors. I'm sorry I'm showing my one, but yeah, every right to. Problem is, MAPS are the ones being oppressed (ooo000 he said it), so pulling a dwc on us is completely uncaled for because we arent oppressing them. Who even is w hand on this them anyway? Non maps? You mean, majonity of people? Im too tired to keep going on this Im just gonna say now, you're not gonna budge me on dwc. I love I want the antis to go away I really do. I'm getting realy tired of "you really think X is okay? "Yes becau "WELL ITS NOTI YOURE SICK DISGUSTING DIE ALREADYI Like, I thought we were diferences in how they see things, but you provided 0 ningor logic, you just shouted at me. At least the others actually gave me a sound argument as to why I should t pavement, but they're just yelling And then immediately reblogging them yelling at me like they made a good point..or a point at all beside "hey look at how moral I am yeling at this person we all assume is immoral wdoro speaks ve got receipts for DAAAAAYS of people doing this exactly Bsuicide tw neo-lo I'm laffing omg Omfa whyyyyyyyy did you spend so much time on this dumb shit? It has like 0 relevancel? Lol and fI change my icon itll be even more Dororo caps a masserpiece Boh and since apparently I have to clear this up??1 have 0 cp on my computer. none. caly A continuation of that last post.

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Apparently #Dumb #and

[skiasurveys]

What is your name? jen How old are you? 20, 21 in december  And lastly, where are you located? canada How do you feel about tomato sauce with chunks of tomato? barf lol Do people think you look like either of your parents? they usually say i look like my dad, which i do, but i think im really half/half

Does that offend you? no

What is your nationality/heritage? Canadian (born), swedish, Ukrainian and French Does it fit you? yes. I look very Ukrainian IMO.not swedish though lol Do you prefer regular bacon or turkey bacon? regular but i dont really care Are you more of a talker or a listener? depends on who i am with, but usually a talker unless im around ppl idk then a listener  Do you interrupt when people talk? no unless i have to Do you think its weird when people talk to their pets like people? no Where do most of your relatives live? Canada, or the UK. Is your weight proportionate to your height? i mean apparently im supposed to be 105, but im 130, but i look good. i dont really think those things are accurate because everyone carries their weight differently, i would look weird 105 pounds What is the last place, other than home, that you stayed overnight? colins place with connor i think..damn that was a long time ago Do you prefer leather or lace? lace  What was the manufacturer of the last vehicle you were in? Toyota  Would you ever buy a motorcycle? no. What is the most unusual thing in your reach right now? ruler Are you sitting by a window right now? yes. Does your door have to be closed in order for you to sleep? no Do you have anything other than posters or pictures on your walls? no What is the furthest you have traveled alone? no where Have you ever ridden a train? no How about a subway? no What is the last thing you measured? my paper for art class Have you ever done something you told yourself you’d never do? yes..weed lmaoooo What did you do on the busiest day of your life? school probably Have you ever traveled to another country? yes. Have you traveled to another continent? no What is something someone can say that always cheers you up? “wanna get food” Do you think everyone is born innocent? yeah i do Or do you think “evil” is predetermined? no, i do believe environment has a lot to do with that, and how you are raised too. Obviously there are some mental health issues too that can go along with it. Are you tattooed? no. Or does it freak you out? no, i want some! Are you pierced? If so, where? no. i had my ears done but i took them out for like 20 mins and they closed -___- Are attracted to or put off by people who are heavily pierced or tattooed? no, i like tats but there is a limit imo but whatever floats your boat Do you have any predjudices? not rly Have you ever been called a derogatory name? yes What was the meanest thing you’ve been called? a cunt, pathetic, waste of space, all said by my ex friend, thanks jennifer  Have you done anything productive today, anyway? not really.. Eaten anything delicious today? mcdonalds haha Do you have any pets? If so, what species/breed? cats. both siamese mix How did you acquire said pets? we got misty when i was 11 from a farm, and i got archer from my boyfriend, idk how he got him..i think from a friend or something Have you ever gotten a pet at a shelter? no Have you ever taken in a stray animal? we did when i was a baby Do you have or want children? i dont want kids  How do you feel about marriage? i would like to be married to my boyfriend lol Ever been close? to marriage? yes Are you confident in your appearance? not reallly Do you enjoy looking at yourself? no ….Do people think you are conceited or vain? no i dont think so Are you optimistic, pessimistic or “realistic” ? realistic/pess Do you enjoying taking pictures? yes i do Do you take pictures of THINGS, or are you just a camera whore? both lol Do you have a significant other? yes i do, 2 years strong <3 If so, what’s your favorite thing about this person? just him i guess, just him being next to me doing whatever, the way he makes me laugh, and how he can talk to me and calm me down bout stuff How long have you been involved with them? 2 years and bit Do you think they are “the one”? i think so, i really hope. i dont wanna deal with heartbreak and i dont wanna deal with meeting someone else, im really in love with him …Do you believe in “the one” or “soulmates”? i do, but i do believe we have multiple “soul mates” because of the butterfly effect, like if i never said yes to a date with my current BF, i could be with someone els and maybe think they were my soul mate, its weird to think about i guess haha 4 Have you ever dated someone simply for their looks? no but i have liked someone just cus they were hot lmao What about dating someone simply because you felt too bad to say no? noooo. i could never date someone i wasnt actually into!! How do you feel about casual sex? its cool but i couldnt do it. ..Are you eating anything right now? no. Does it drive you INSANE when people chew with their mouth open? eh, as long as i dont see or hear it LOL What about when they talk with their mouth full?? doesnt bother me unless they do it all the time and/or i cant hear shit Does any food always make you sick but you love it too much to not eat it? eh, bad food does usually. How do you feel about alcohol? i like it but not as much Have you ever been drunk? yes. Do you like orange juice with pulp? no Or… do you prefer not chewing your juice? yes Do you scream for ice cream? i actually don’t really like ice cream. <--- same Which orange came first; the color or the fruit? the colour i would imagine since colours have always been, and im assuming thats why they named it orange cus of its colour  Chicken or the egg, really? chicken but it probably was a diff type of chicken ..evolution maybe Are you addicted to anything? attention..smoothies Do you tell white lies? i do actually not intending too sometimes i do, but not an everyday thing What is your favorite pair of shoes? my doc martens or converse Are you more creative or logical? creative IMO Do you know what people mean when they say “type A personality”? i think they means they like stuff a certain way, and more logical than feelings Are you in school? If so, for what? college and for visual arts What is your dream job? animator i think Have you ever experienced a natural disaster? no. Do you feel bad when bad things happen to other people? yes. Or, do you not care? i care If you don’t, do you feel guilty about that? - Do you laugh at things that aren’t supposed to be funny? yeah i do Is it only funny til someone gets hurt? ummm  Then is it hilarous? idk. Does your favorite shirt have words on it? yes If so, what does it say? guns n roses Aren’t you a little nervous about posting photos online? no not really Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? depression and ocd Have you ever stolen something? yeah when i was younger44444 What was the reason you washed your hands last? i pet the dog How do you feel about getting blood drawn? dont like it, but idc. What are you afraid of? losing connor Is there something you should be doing?

sleeping??

#survey

[drarryislifebetch]

STORY TIME!

I've just been wanting to get this out because it's been stuck in my head for a while now and I don't think I can hold it in (+_+)

( Tw: abuse, self harm )

So anyways, back in around August/September 2018 I was added to this one group chat by a mutual friend and already felt out of place. I spoke to ONE person and that was about it. We bonded over questionable things for people who barely know each other things like casual flirting, kinks and what not. In the beginning it was all she wanted to talk about (we both are girls) and it would always end in me asking sorry for whatever reason and her acting up and just making me feel like shit in general.

She's around 2-3 years younger than me and she was 14 when we first spoke. Yeah I didn't know she was that young until much later. And we'd be talking random shit, we got pretty close but she never once showed me her face. Understandable tho, I wouldn't advise you to go sending pics of you to someone you've been talking to for just a month. We shared our stories, gossiped, bitched about ppl we hated and what not. But we tried to talk as much as possible despite the time zones.

She had this one friend. She's 14 ig? Prolly 15 now idek. So one day, my mutual told me she was hanging out with her best friend (Lee) and she kept sending me pics and videos of the girl. I just thought, hey friends doing weird shit together, nothing much. I replied that Lee was cute. A 14 year old child, I didn't think any other way. She just kept on sending me pics and videos and I told her to stop, it wasn't good. She did.

Lee texted me not even a few minutes later. She's like Hey, heard you been calling me cute sup. And I'm like yea you are a cute girl. She took the compliment tho, she said she wanted to get to know me better. And this is where I made a mistake. I thought probably we'd just get along and talk, the three of us. but she had other plans.

We talked a lot, she got to know I was Bi from my mutual, I told her I was, and asked her why. she just let it be. Then after we started talking for a while, my mutual (let's just call her Ri), To texts me she needed my help and that Lee liked someone. I was down to help. They kept me waiting and I eventually found out they were talking about me.

Lee liked me.

This is the first time someone, let alone another girl, has told me they liked me and I was just blank. She told me I made her Bi. And she really wants to be more than friends with me. I didn't know how to respond and I just told her I needed to think about it. She just replied okay, and Ri was worried about Lee, that I'd done something wrong to upset her or smth. I was already going through a tough time mentally due to issues in school and so I didn't want to deal with anything else.

First things first, she's a child. Say what you want but 14 year olds have much more important things to worry about than a virtual love life over fan accounts across seas. I know distance isnt an issue when you truly love someone but is 14 the age to decide?

I also had my Assignments during that time so I couldn't really go online but when I did get back, I had a lot to hear from Ri. She was MAD at me like FURIOUS mad.

I'm like dude, what do you want me to do. She's like idk just make her happy again and then I texted Lee, she asked me the same question and I replied I don't really think I'm ready for this right now. I didn't know what to say. She was a sweet girl and the things that ri told me Lee was doing to herself was just upsetting me too much.

Apparently she hadn't been eating, she had shit out people because I wasn't responding to their texts and she had been burning her fingers. Like lit matchsticks to her hands. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do what to say ANYTHING.

So I just let her be and she thought I'd agreed on our "relationship" if there was ever one. Like she used to text me if she could call me papi because I called everyone bub. I was like go ahead I guess idek what that means. It went too far and she started sending me too many confession texts and it only made me feel guilty.

So I told ri I couldn't do it anymore and she blames me. I don't know if she's right or wrong and she never listened to what I had to say anyways so I told Lee I didn't want to do this because of a certain incident prior to this and I opened up to her about a story of how I was inappropriately stalked and touched by someone I trusted. So I told her I don't want anything to do with online relationships and so I'd appreciate if she understood and if we could go back to being friends. She just replied, "I know you like Ri. I'm sorry, I won't bother you anymore" and I was like WHAT.

she took a look at mine and ri's previous texts and she thought I liked her because all ri talked about was getting laid and her trying to dominate me. I told her a hundred times to change her behaviour, and not speak that way but, as I told, she could care less about what I had to say.

This shit took another turn when Ri came back online. She was like you ruined our friendship and whatever whatever and she wanted nothing to do with me. I was like as long as I can get out of this mess, I'll take anything I can.

We didn't speak much at all after that, and one day she'd posted a question poll and I thought I didn't want to lose a friend so I just chimed in and typed in 'tbh?' and she replied. Now I wish she hadn't.

Quoting her exact words, 'tbh when it was good it was good. But you turned out to be a lying piece of shit who goes around hurting people just because you couldn't hold your shit together.' and Idek. You guessed it.

that hit my weak spot, my self esteem went underground and beyond and I was a wreck, damn. Then I spoke to my irl friend, only about the last part didn't really feel like saying everything and all she told me was this- 'if you aren't on good terms with them now, there's a reason. Don't beat yourself up on what they think about you. I know you, and please open your eyes and see yourself. Don't let them tell you what you should feel about yourself.'

And I felt better. Although I cried during that break. It felt better to just let it all out.

Why am I telling all this shit now?

I guy I know is probably into me, according to my friends, and he just called me. And I remembered all of this when I heard his voice.

So yea just thought I'd share it with you.

One thing tho, if you want to care for someone, do so. In a pure way. She think I was probably a lusting horny 16 year old and now that we've blocked each other on every social media handle, I can't check on them even if I want to. Before you speak think twice of the consequences, take it however you want, you might be "leading on" a child or you may ruin someone's entire perspective of love, or crush their self esteem that they've been struggling with.

So yea, take care of yourselves, love yourself first, make yourself your first priority, relationships can come later. Thanks for listening to this shit here's a puppy

#what is even happening #why did i even #oh god #i just hope youre alright #and Leah. please mind your tongue when you speak to people you dont know. #oops #internet #online relationships #fail #idek #i dont even care

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 7 - “And I have no idea what a Willa is.” -Chips

Bryce

I guess Liana voted me? how odd. Colin voted Nicholas I presume but uh me and Quillynn lived which is all that matters tbh! Im happy that we get to live another round I was scared(pumpkin)

Colin, from the grave

fuck these hoes

QuilLynn

So.. I survived tribal! I'm super happy that we were able to get out Colin, as much as I love him as a person and would have wanted to work with him under different circumstances it was the only thing that made sense. Basically Bryce and I put ourselves in a position where we were the swing votes between Colin leaving and Nicholas leaving. Although there were benefits with both options, we knew that Colin would be harder to convince to also vote out Liana if we lose again, and we feel safer (for now) with Nicholas. At this point I feel great, I don't want to sound cocky, but I now just don't see either Bryce or I leaving before merge! 

Dana

Hello Dads and lovers! I don't have too much to say about the game, except the tea is that i'm ready af to merge. The fastest way to kill me is to make me go to tribal on this tribe. Chips hates me, Jay O knows about my friend group premade, and Kelsey is inact af. Zach and I want to convince Kelsey to vote with us, but umm basically i'm going to pressure him into playing some advantage. I'm going to make him king of paranoia and tbh it won't be hard. Also i'm an actual slut for letter # like i crave it. So thanks hosts!

Trixie

hi my tribe is gonna lose this challenge xx

**Malam loses immunity**

Bryce

We got 2nd in immunity thats iconic. but im afraid ppl will see me as a threat but like.... I had to score since quillynn and liana did nothing and nicholas wasnt on much.Im just happy we won and are one step closer to merging where i can try to meet back up with bryan!

Bryan

So me and trixie fought our hardest but we still weren’t able to win. EMPHASIS ON ME AND TRIXIE AND NOT OUR ACTUAL FUCKING TRIBE! THESE BITCHES DIDNT DO JACK SHIT! I was talking to trixie about it, how we are fighting the hardest when we aren’t even the ones at risk and they don’t even care. But the votes are probably going to be heading towards Willa.

Zach

WE WON IMMUNITY! WIG! I expect Trixie to use her idol that I provided her... my impact. I shouldn;t have, and I kind of regret it but I don't. It's weird. I want merge to come pleASEeee

QuilLynn

One step closer to merge! My team of icons won immunity again! Although, to be honest I didn't really try or participate, because I would rather us go to tribal again. We have the numbers on our tribe to vote out Liana and I want to do that before we get to merge and she just acts as Chips' double vote advantage. 

Trixie

My tribe loves going to tribal apparently! We’ve lost/come close to losing every single challenge that I’m praying to the furby gods for a mercy merge. 

Being a villain, naturally I have satan on my side. Although I had described zachary rae as being an angel, he’s more akin to a devil because he’s left me a gift that I don’t know what to do with yet. I feel like I have Bryan and Christian down to vote Willa. Willa, on the other hand, thinks we’re going to vote Christian and is “willing” to go to rocks, which is a big fat lie imo. I feel like he’s going to try and flip the heroes on me, and I’m hoping they won’t listen. After all, I do a lot more for my tribe than he does. 

I’m always worried something will happen, and I don’t wanna be that fool who plays the idol when unneeded, but I also don’t wanna be the bigger fool who goes out while holding one. help

Willa

I'm being voted off is this necessary 

Chips

Alright, so the challenge was the one where you get letters and then you make words from them. In general, I'm pretty decent at it... but also I never have any time online for that sort of challenge so I saw if I could sit out... and I did. http://imgur.com/dYxDGuG.gif And then I wasn't added to the chat or whatever so I was kinda in the dark about our team's score (which is odd, because I believe that in the show when they sit out they are still at the challenge) but I was hoping that we could be successful and not have tribal. Then the results were posted and our team was number one! So no tribal! And the marshmallow tribe is going to tribal... https://68.media.tumblr.com/744c19eadd3d19f73b4dfece4e0ae798/tumblr_olvj861Lu01u2ragso1_500.gif On that tribe are Bryan, Christian, Trixie, and Willa! Bryan I'd like to stay because I think he's most likely to work with me in a situation where we are reunited. Christian is here and there, but would likely stick with me as well. Trixie is basically QuilLynn so if she were to go it wouldn't be bad for me. And I have no idea what a Willa is.

Bryce

I hope Bryan plays his idol

Christian

I don't know why Willa doesn't like me, when I've never spoken to him or even played a game with him. Unless he friends with someone in the community that hates me lolol. I lowkey feel like he has an idol, and I'm gonna get idoled out. But I guess we will see. If I do go tonight, I'm not mad about it. It is what it is. But once confessionals are released, Willa feel free to tell me why you have it out for me. Ctfu 

Liana

I'm so glad we won because if we proved anything the last tribal, it's that this tribe is a mess.

Jay

I just got out of work ahhhhhhh!!!! Anyways im super happy my tribe pulled out a win because i did NOTHING in the last challenge. I've worked for the last 4 days so i was either at work or tired af during the challenge. Hopefully (!!!!) That changes and i can start pulling my weight.

**Willa is voted out, round 8 begins**

Bryan

Lol at Willa thinking we were going to rocks when in actuality he was going

Kelsey

The sitch is that once again; the foxy lady gets to stay~! I feel very grateful that I was able to stay out of tribal the last week. This streak of safety is sooooooo nice to rely on and now...we're heading into the top TWELVE of the competition! I can't say I ever saw myself making it to this stage of the game and gosh...merge can't be far away! At this point, I just want to break away from this sort of "tribe" game and I just want to get started on playing in the final traction of the competition! You know what? I DESERVE to make it to the end and, at the very least, I deserve to FIGHT for it. On this tribe, I do believe I've tightened my relationship with Dana as well as with Chips. And if I do have to vote someone off, I'm quite comfortable switching over with the villains to eliminate Jay as I trust him less than Zach. I just...I feel CONFIDENT! I feel so ready to keep going! I'm filled with excitement and I just wanna- I want to be in the heat of it again soon enough! I said this earlier, but they're going to have to rip and TEAR me away from the crown and I'm pumped to fight for it! Send home the next hooker already, I'm raring to go! And THAT'S all there is to it~! But who are you pointing at? -Kelsey V Mikaelson #TeamIBelieveInYall #TeamBEES #RIPColin #RIPWilla

Bryan

VL DR: YA BOY SLAYED THIS DAMN MAZE! "Hard AF maze" YEA RIGHT

**Malam loses immunity again**

Bryan

JKNFCDBEJLWBFCHJLBWEHJCLBHWJBC I GOT FIRST PLACE AND THEY BOTH GOT LAST!! THIS IS SOO DAMN FRUSTRATING!!! but i dont want to vote out Christian or trixie. Christian has been loyal to me. and trixie is so nice. i have my idol and i want to use it but i also dont. im afraid trixie might flip christian on me. and thats scary. 

Zach

kisses we safe xx kay now i'm expecting trixie to idol, considering i think bryan/christian are friends. whom will she vote? idk?

later...

I kind of feel really good on my tribe. I do want merge though cause I think it may get more interesting. It's kind of bitter sweet because A) It's SUPER boring tribal wise rn, but that's because of B) my ass ain't going to tribal - and i wanna keep it like that!

QuilLynn

We won immunity (well second place but w/e we’re safe!) that means we’ve probably made it to merge which I’m super excited about! We still have Liana, but her joining up with chips might make her and more importantly chips easy targets. I like them both but see 0% chance of us working together in this game at this point so they’ll definetly be the first people that i’ll be wanting to take a shot at. 

Bryan

Ok so. Christian thinks I’m voting trixie. And trixie thinks I’m voting Christian. Or there is this epic blindside coming. But I’m leaning more towards keeping trixie. I can def count on Christian to be a loyal goat but I know trixie has the skill to be able to make big moves with me.

Bryce

Um liana ditching last second was scary but we won so im happy. Malam keeps losing so its awk LOL. But im happy me and quil are safe with nicholas

Liana

Haha, Malam sucks. Enjoy tribal!

Christian

I'm pretty sure I'm gone tonight lol. There's not much to say, considering there's only three of us left on our tribe. Everything is just open I guess. 

Bryan

VL DR: Trixie is such a troll. I was wondering why she never goes on video chat. But i know now. She is one of the trolls from that shitty animated movie so called trolls. 

**Christian is voted out and round 9 begins!**

#confessionals #zerotohero