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sirenspells · 5 months

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WIPs and abandoned projects (March 2021-December 2023)

Info on each one (as well as what the songs/audio sources are):

The song playing in the intro and outro is Dianthus Nardiformis from the Dreaming Mary OST.

19: March 2021. Okay so this one's not actually a work in progress. I made this on my 19th birthday, the joke being that the singer just says 19 then it ends. I think I thought it was kinda dumb so I didn't end up actually posting it. Also features a sona I had before Cress that I never really got attached to, so she was barely used. Song is 19 by Old 97's.

Lonely Holiday: July 2021. This has the honor of being the first OMORI mv I ever attempted. I started this on a whim while bored out of my mind dogsitting for a couple weeks, and I kinda just lost interest in it. Dunno if I'll go back to it. Song is Lonely Holiday by Old 97's.

Numb: July 2021. Another one I started while dogsitting, and another one I kinda just lost interest in, but I absolutely want to revisit it someday because it's an idea I've had for a while and still really want to do. Song is Numb (Linkin Park Cover) by Robyn Adele Anderson.

The Artist: December 2021. I stopped working on this one because doing everything manually frame-by-frame got really annoying and I started to hate working on it. I dunno why I did the zoom in manually but it looks bad, lol. The entire MV would have been just this verse of the song because I thought it really fit Basil and Omori. Tbh I still like how this looks and I may come back to it. Song is The Artist by The Hush Sound.

Higher: February 2022. It's the animation meme. I actually posted this wip a while ago but I'm still gonna include it here for completion's sake. This was really just storyboard practice, so I don't have much of an interest in completing it beyond this. It's Omori Strikers AU (my omori x persona 5 crossover au) and it's basically about Omori's identity issues due to being Sunny's Shadow. The quality's really bad on this one, for some reason iMovie refused to export it in a higher quality than this, I don't know why. Song is High by SIVIK.

Little Sunbeam: February 2022. This MV would have centered on the omari au, and beyond this it'd switch to Mari's pov and take on different palettes. Doing that text effect made working on this very annoying and would make my art program lag a lot so I lost interest in working on it. I might revisit this one, though I'd have to rework the original idea I had now that my perception on the common omari au has changed lol. Song is Little Sunbeam by Eleisha Eagle.

Nightmarish: April 2022. This MV would technically be a remake of one I made in 2020. Same song, same color palette, but with a completely new media. Part of wanting to work on this is wanting to spread Dreaming Mary propaganda cause I love it and I think people who like OMORI will like Dreaming Mary as well. Also I love this song. I definitely wanna go back to this one at some point. Song is Nightmarish from the Dreaming Mary OST.

Keep You Safe: July 2022. Like Higher I also posted this wip before but will still include it here. I absolutely want to go back to this one someday because I still really like the idea I have for it. Fun fact, for those who remember this piece, that was based on this MV, but it's not like you can tell based on what's shown here. Song is Keep You Safe by The Crane Wives.

Four Walls: August 2022. Amnesiac Omori MV, what would have been his youtube introduction if I hadn't stopped working on it and then made When Am I Gonna Lose You. I think I kinda just lost interest in this one, though I wanna go back to it at some point I think. Song is Four Walls (The Ballad of Perry Smith) by Bastille.

Someone Gets Hurt: January 2023. Amnesiac omori again babey!! Animatic that would have taken place after he regains his memories, where he's basically really angry and lashes out at Sunny and Stranger. Might revisit this one. Song is Someone Gets Hurt (Reprise) from the Mean Girls musical.

Uhh some shitpost: February 2023. Silly thing, it's a shame I stopped working on it before it actually got to the main funny part. I dunno if I'll go back to this one. Audio from @/tylergaca on twitter.

Jealous: March 2023. Animation meme. It would've been about Sunny and Mari in my pmd au and the leadup to the incident. It took me a while to get that second shot right and I still really don't like it. Do wanna revisit this one cause I love angst surrounding these two so much I love them in pmd au GRAHHH. Song is Jealous by Eyedress (slowed down).

Stranger lipsync test: May 2023. This was way too difficult as a lipsync test so I gave up on it, though I still like the animation for it. Also this is a pretty good contender for headcanon voice for Stranger I'll be real. Audio is from Persona 5 Royal.

Propaganda: August 2023. Amnesiac omori au storyboard that I do actually wanna make into a completed thing. This is very spoilery so my master plan is to not explain what's happening. Muah hah hah >:3c. Also once again iMovie exported this in a really bad quality for some reason. Song is Propaganda by Kill J.

Alter's Rant: December 2023. One more amnesiac omori animatic for the road. Once again it's really spoilery but it's basically Alter and Omori's final confrontation. I have more done than what's shown here but I wanna keep it a surprise for when I finish it, which should hopefully be soon >:3c. Also this one also got hit by iMovie's low quality curse. Song is Eva's Rant from Bring It On The Musical.

#woe. wip compilation be upon ye #siren art

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paintpanic · 1 month

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4 and 11 for the artist ask game?

Thank you for the asks!!

4: Piece you wish got more love?

My most recent serious animatic, Blossom, didn't perform as well as I expected on YouTube, which was disappointing for me. Those take super duper long to make, so it was a little frustrating to see it get outperformed by a fairly low-effort shitpost video I posted just after it.

That's just kind of how it is online, though. Short, meme-able stuff will always get more popular than more serious, slower stuff. I think once you know that going in, it gets easier to just roll with it.

11: Do you listen to anything while drawing?

Absolutely always lol. I watch/listen to a lot of gaming videos on my phone while I draw. I'm obviously a big fan of Kirby music, and I've got a lot of the more recent OSTs on my PC to listen to. I also really like Kirby remixes; right now I'm really into azifly's stuff. They released this super cool Triple Deluxe orchestral suite a few months ago, and they've got an Amazing Mirror one coming out in a few days for its anniversary.

Other than that, I've got really stereotypical Tumblr user music taste. I listen to a lot of Lemon Demon and Will Wood, and I'm starting to get into Mother Mother lol. Such is the life of a Tumblr girlie.

#ask game #thxx for the ask again very fun #i am self-conscious on a lot of personal taste things so please be kind and don't tease about the music i like lol #it's difficult to share because the fear of judgement is very real #you're all very nice though so i trust that you'll be kind to me

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erstwhilesparrow · 2 months

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I just saw that post you reblogged about archiving MCYT stuff - is there a particular reason stuff disappears so often? (That's very cool people are putting in so much effort to preserve it, though; big respect to that tbh)

reyni! :D okay i should be clear upfront that some of my information may be incomplete here because (1) i don't have twitter and (2) i'm not directly involved in any mcyt archival efforts. also putting this under a cut because it's long and i do need to reference recent events involving abuse and sexual assault:

despite mcyt = minecraft youtube(r), a lot of stuff relevant to mcyt happens like. exclusively on stream? really, really ~plot-critical or deeply characterizing stuff happens on stream sometimes and never makes it into a youtube video! and on twitch at least, unless you explicitly set it to save your vods, twitch will just delete them after a certain number of days. i don't know exactly how this works if you stream on youtube but also my impression is that a significant majority of people are not streaming on youtube anyway. since fairly early in my time in mcyt fandoms, there's been concern about creators not saving their own vods, and on top of that, sometimes you save a vod and it gets taken down anyway for copyright infringement (playing copyrighted music, the creator themself asked for it to be removed, etc). so like. as baseline, there's a sense of inherent ephemerality to the medium. that post i reblogged is explicitly pushing back against the description of mcyt vods as "a constantly burning library of alexandria," and in light of the evidence that follows i agree (and also am a little weepy about the efforts people make to save these things), but that sense doesn't come from nowhere, you know?

speaking of that post though, i suspect this archival stuff is coming up More now because it's been a rough couple of weeks in mcyt fandom. several really influential creators in the space were recently outed as being abusive or predatory in a way that's caught a lot of attention, and many people in response have been (understandably!) deleting their fanworks or otherwise distancing or removing themselves from mcyt fandom. i want to be clear, i know stuff gets deleted all the time in fanspaces -- the internet is kind of just Like That in terms of how easy it is to lose things -- and it's incredibly fair to go "no, even if there was a strong distinction between character and creator this leaves a sour taste in my mouth and i'm not doing this anymore." i don't want to pretend that no one has ever deleted a fanwork outside of mcyt spaces, and i don't want to insinuate that it's bad to vocally revoke your support of those creators -- those people have done awful things and generally failed to meaningfully apologize or take accountability, and it is worth remembering and saying so. but to give you a sense of numbers: antimony-medusa does monthly stats on mcyt fic on ao3, and dsmp, which even after it's kind of died off has seen monthly increases in the range of hundreds of new fic per month, saw a decrease of roughly 800 fics. other fandoms have similarly seen decreases, and video blogging rpf, which ao3 treats as an umbrella for basically all mcyt stuff, saw an increase of 51, as compared to last month's increase of (approximately) 3500. and that's just fic -- there's also a rich trove of animatics, fanvids, fanart, etc that i don't have any numbers for, but i've seen people talking about deleting those, too, you know? you see how people might be worried about what we are losing.

at this point i think your question is answered, but if you'll forgive some baseless speculation here, i wonder to what extent mcyt is also. complicated by how closely character and creator can sit? i don't know how other people feel, but there is a difference to me between "i've written fic about This Person Specifically (or, arguably, their streamer persona which may be somewhat divorced from the Real Life Human Being Behind The Screen)" and "i've written fic about a character this person plays." i dunno, there's a sense to me of the flimsiness of the line between creator and character and then also of the line between creator and fandom that i think makes it harder to be like "okay, i am doing my own thing, separate from the creator, so i'm going to keep my stuff public even if i don't stand by it 100% anymore." i remember when i first joined mcyt fandom, there was a period of time people were really worried that the creators were actively on ao3, or that fans would try to send their fanfic directly to the creators. i thought to myself, "well, if anyone Tries Shit with my work, i will simply delete all my relevant accounts and disappear." that's... not really a back-up plan that i feel good about these days, but. you know. it's been a thing, if not always for the same reasons, and i do understand the impulse.

#chattering sparrow #is this... a helpful explanation? does it clarify anything for you?#i've been having a weird week for reasons unrelated to ~fandom bullshit but wow the bullshit has certainly not helped #thank you for the ask though! gave me the kick i needed to go back and add disclaimers to some of my existing fic

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factorialsotherfandoms · 4 months

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QSMP x XCOM(2) playlist!

It is subject to change and I will try update it when I add new music. And someday it'll get cover art. For now, though, the track listing as is. It's kinda in 2 sections (songs providing fic titles and then vibe songs). You will note that who I associate things with and who gets the lyrics as their titles don't often match, and I am extremely biased towards my faves, and even more biased to characters I've actually written in this au.

Also of course music is subjective and my analysis is not the only analysis a commenter on ao3 just asked me when I showed them the playlist so I thought I'd share it with everyone.

Each title in the whys also has a link to a youtube version for people without spotify <3

Oh Darling - Plug In Stereo ft. Cady Groves Title music for 'Til Hell Starts To Freeze. Tonally it's massively off track for most of the series, but it's cute and it's fun and I love it.

So just take a chance, try to hold my hand I swear I’d never let go Just let me know if you’d be my man

2. The Call - 2WEI, League of Legends, and Louis Leibfried From the Regret Arc animatic. You know the one. It provides the title to 'Hold The Last Burning Ember', and just generally has very vibes. This is particularly true of any and all of the characters who were involved with the initial invasion. Due to the association with the Regret Arc, I do associate it a little more heavily with the Brazilians, though it's also very appropriate for Philza, BBH, Mariana and, weirdly enough now I think, Spreen.

For the beat and the broken For the lost and forsaken Let us never surrender May we rise unto the call

3. This Will End - The Oh Hellos Title provider for 'The Kind of Love of Which I Speak'. In different places it has the vibes of various different characters - notably Pac and Roier, also kinda Fit but the vibes are all off for him. It's a song which discusses being afraid of being alive, of giving love and never getting it back, of being passively suicidal and welcoming death if it comes but still praying for an ending where you love and are loved in return. There's many ways to read any song and I'm getting more into this one than the others for some reason, but to me it's a song about choosing to keep going when it hurts, to keep loving when you're empty, to see a world with nothing beautiful left and to still believe beauty can be attained. It goes pain-hope-confusion-pain-hope, and idk I just like their music and this one vibes a lot with the whole thing where for a lot of the main characters in this au (and a lot of me writing it) it's not so much about defeating the aliens and winning the war as it is allowing severely hurting people to heal, and those who never had a chance to discover what love is, and to build their families for themselves. A good one just for the vibes of the sort of angst I write.

I can hope how this will end With every line, a comedy That we can learn to love without demand With unreserved honesty

4. Sing Me To Sleep - Alan Walker One of a handful of songs I associate with XCOM2 over before anything else. Lyrics from this song are used mostly-consistently for the entire Mike being kidnapped arc - everything except the bit I wrote way back when with Philza and Fit - from capture to rescue. I am reasonably sure it's about someone dying but eeeeeeh only MCD are people who perma-die in canon! And some of them even get to escape! Because of how I used it I heavily associate this one specifically with Tazercraft, but it does have vibes for a fair few of the more tragic or co-dependent groupings. Romantic or otherwise. Really it should be the memory egg's song, but it isn't. There's also some... darker reads with one of the characters, and how the story ends.

Remember me now, time cannot erase I can hear your whispers in my mind I've become what you cannot embrace Our memory will be my lullaby

5. Duerme Pequeño - Coro San Agustin Again not a super appropriate one atm, but was used for the fic with Trump. It's a Spanish lullaby. I cannot give you a lyrics snip for this one because my Spanish is non-existent and I can neither work out how to find them nor type them by ear. But like. Lullabies are just generally good once the kids are involved in the story.

6. The Only Hope For Me Is You - My Chemical Romance A classic, really. The entire Danger Days album is not inappropriate to this au, and picking out just a few pieces was extremely hard. This was one - specifically it is the song I associate with Cellbit and Felps, though many other groups could use it too. Though, more generally, it's Cellbit about any of the characters he considers friends, doubly so for family, and even himself as he tries to be better in a world that doesn't want to let him. Provides title for 'People Die In Purifying Flame' and also 'Because You're The Only Hope For Me'. Some of the lyrics are a little graphic in context, but the first verse really is hard on the whole everyone dead thing. And just generally Cellbit not doing... great when on his own. But also striving for a better future for the people he loves even if it means destroying himself to save them.

And its partly that last line that makes it Felps not anyone else.

If that's the best that I could be? Than I'd be another memory Can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me And if we can't find where we belong We'll have to make it on our own Face all the pain and take it on Because the only hope for me is you alone

7. Anything For You - Ludo Generic title I know, but this is the song I was thinking of when I titled 'Anything For You'. Or rather, the one stuck in my head on a loop. Vibes are very bouncy compared to the rest of this playlist, and it really is any of the combos who are friends or partners or other in this au. It's not... suuuuper fitting but I like it and I used it so it's here. Far better for Happy Ending AU, but frankly both of the aus are heavy on the community as saving the world and only combined are we strong and the best reward is to grow old with your loved ones.

Anything for you All of this is true But the best story that I could ever tell Is the one where I am growing old with you

8. Things We Lost In The Fire - Bastille Is it really a playlist without some Bastille? Look this is literally any group who knew each other pre-invasion - Favela 5, Mystery Twins (though theirs dates back longer), Philza & Fit, BBH & Foolish & Maxo, The French... Provides the title for 'The Future's In Our Hands And We Will Never Be The Same Again', a fic with Mike and Cellbit. And I think it's especially fitting for them, at least out of their combo of 5, because sparks do fly a bit when they interact, no matter the care. I also think it's really good for Bagi in this au? Especially the little bit I've picked out here.

I read them all one day When loneliness came and you were away Oh they told me nothing new But I love to read the words you used

9. The Sound Of Silence - Disturbed Another XCOM2 over QSMP song, largely thanks to the fanmade trailer below (er, violence, explosions, gunsfire, yk)

youtube

Some of the footage in it is XCOM: Enemy Unknown, the game to which XCOM2 is a sequel. But, yeah, song I very associate just with the game and the whole thing. If I haaaaad to attach this to a character it would probably be Philza for... reasons I don't think I've talked about anywhere? Him or Foolish for very different reasons.

Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound of silence

10. Nemo - Nightwish TBH, I just like it. If I had to pin something down, one answer is Cellbit and another is the three demons. I think I'd specifically pick out Tina for this one. She's not really someone I'd associate with this sort of music, but she's certainly the one who has buried herself the furthest. She would like redemption and she'd like it yesterday, please. Unfortunately, she's also a demonic assassin so... Good luck to her. Really it is just a very cool song, though.

My flower, withered between The pages two and three The once and forever bloom gone with my sins

11. Battle Scars - Paradise Fears (Acoustic Version) Honestly the whole song is great. It's really not anyone specific, but it has very heavy vibes for the whole group. Literally everyone hits beats here. Everyone's fucked up and a fuck up, and they're still gonna try and save their world and drag everyone else along with them gdi.

I'll carry you home No, you're not, alone Keep marching on This. Is. Worth. fighting for You know we've, all got battle scars

12. Plant Life - Owl City My brainworm of the year so far. I'm not really sure what to say about this other than it gives me an extremely specific image and I thiiiiink it's Slimecicle

I've been longing for daisies to push through the floor And I wish plant life would grow all around me So, I won't feel dead anymore So, I won't feel dead anymore

13. Defeated - Bad Suns Again, another song which really could be anyone. And I don't really... have a lot to pick apart on it. So, just enjoy!

I don't wanna be all alone and defeated Who can I be besides me? 'Cause I hate it I don't wanna be left alone, uncompleted, no I don't wanna be all alone and defeated, no

14. Keep You Safe - JJ Heller A lullaby! For all the little eggies I haven't written yet, and their fiercely protective parents. And the gently protective parents. And all the tios and tias who look after them, too. For the 'younger' eggies it's needed, for the 'older' ones maybe it's just good to have someone chase away the awful for you. Either way, their parents will keep the monsters away now. There's nothing to fear in their dreams (except that the monsters who haunt them and want to steal them are very, very real...)

My love is a light Driving away all of your fear So don’t be afraid Remember I made a promise to keep you safe

15. Saints An' Sinners - Whitesnake IDK this again just has vibes. There's something here with Tina once again, but also it really is kinda. There's a whole mess of people in the Order, many of them having done terrible things, many of them having done wonderful things. There's something about the irreverent reverence the song gives to higher powers that just. IDK there's something of the vibes of the group in the tone of the song. A combination of saints and sinners - many of them being both depending who you ask - in a defiance against the order. Given a lot of this song about being thankful sounds sarcastic to my ear oops lol

Saints an' sinners Priests an' thieves Saints an' sinners Priests an' thieves For what we are about to receive May the Lord make us truly thankful

16. Glitter & Gold - Barns Courtney Not sure what to say here. It is just a good song about like... 'I am flesh and I am bone - arise, ting ting, like glitter and gold. I've got fire in my soul, rise up, ting ting, like glitter'. It's a call of life to life, demanding humanity wake up and come forth. Marching song of the order, perhaps, with flesh on their bones and fire in their souls and demanding an answer and demanding the world goes on.

Do you walk in the valley of kings? Do you walk in the shadow of men Who sold their lives to a dream? Do you ponder the manner of things In the dark? The dark, the dark, the dark

17. Enough To Go By - Vienna Teng I am just... this song. Separation and rejoining and its love love love but love might not be enough to save anyone, but you're trying anyway. It's just... Every relationship in this series that hurts. It's Felps and his family, it's Tazercraft, it's Wilbur and Philza, it's Fit and basically anyone, it's Foolish and BBH and Maxo, it's Maxo and Dan, it's Spreen and Missa and Roier in any combination, Aypierre and Maxo, Aypierre and Antoine... The list goes on and on and on of characters who by one definition or another love each other to the world and back and it's never enough. It's coming back after seperation and asking am I good enough yet? I changed have you? I cannot force you to live but please, please, survive. This song is like. The song form of the gentler angst I write.

Would it be enough to go by If we could sail on the wind in the dark Cut those chains in the middle of the night That had you pulled apart Would it be enough to go by If there's moonlight pulling the tide Would it be enough to live on If my love couldn't keep you alive

18. The Fighter - Paradise Fears Again not really sure here, it's just... It's here. It just is. I have nothing clever to say this time. There's a lot of songs some are like that.

Now I do it for the Kids, people said never had a shot Never really caring if tomorrows gonna come or not We're all just a life that fates taking a chance on But this ain't our last dance, so baby dance on

19. Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back - My Chemical Romance Not everyone believes they can actually succeed. TBH, most of them don't believe there's a chance of victory, but everyone in the Order is still ready and willing and wanting to raise hell. Raise hell, try change the world, and more than anything else grab their friends' hands and run away together. It's especially true of some of the more... reckless sorts - Roier, Baghera, Foolish, Fit, Etoiles, backstory Philza, etc

I'll tell you well how the story ends Where the good guys die and the bad guys win (who cares?) This ain't about all the friends you made But the graffiti they write on your grave

20. Lady of Worlds - Miracle of Sound Look I haven't played the game this is a song about, but I still very much appreciate it. It's not the vibes for Jaiden, but it's not-not her vibes, you know? Same for Bagi. It's definitely something, though. Maybe you could argue Mouse? You could probably argue mouse.

Time and space on the frailest veil Frozen cold in the static Bloody blades under hatred's sails Tearing out through the fabric

21. Until The End - Breaking Benjamin Confession time - this song I know from Naruto AMVs in my childhood. It really could be any of the characters, but because they are my boys we're handing it to Tazercraft. Yes, both of them. Mostly backstory but frankly neither of them is great. As I said it could quite honestly be any of the characters at times, but I think they are the two who fit it most consistently. Something about there's nothing and you have nothing but you keep going anyway because you refuse to let them win even if you kind of want to die.

Why give up, why give in? It's not enough, it never is So I will go on until the end We've become desolate It's not enough, it never is But I will go on until the end

22. Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter Something something violence something something. I don't think this one needs a whole lot of analysis to explain? The violence has been going on for so long of course it's treated with a combination of exasperation and irreverence.

Go get your gun, get your gun And lets find out what it does Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot We haven't won, and if we win And if the morning light sets in We've cheated fate again

23. Until The Day Is Done - R.E.M. It is known to be a song about the state of America (in 2008...), but it's also a very good song for just. The weary hopelessness of the situation the characters find themselves in.

As we've written our stories to entertain These notions of glory and bull market gain The teleprompt flutters, the power surge brings An easy speed message falls into routine

24. Laughter Lines - Bastille There's a good number of characters who knew each other and were separated by circumstances, to whom this can apply. But it also can apply to many others, the promise of the chance to grow old, and to do it together. Maybe not in the same place, but circling around and around each other. And like... a lot of them need that a lot of the time. Just pick yourself a ship - romantic or otherwise - and give it a go.

"I'll see you in the future when we're older And we are full of stories to be told Crossin' my heart and hope to die I'll see you with your laughter lines"

25. Working - I Fight Dragons I'll confess, I just wanted something from this album. A couple could have worked, but I liked this one best. It's disillusionment in the current system, whether that be irl or in the au series. It's not really a specific character, but more just the vibe of those who turn away from the Federation not for a specific moment of violence but a simple desire of something more, for something greater. While she's learnt more horrors since Jaiden somewhat falls into this catagory. She didn't leave because of horrors she discovered, she left her cushy admin job because it was just never quite... right. At first it was just a quiet 'this is wrong', and then she saw the horrors once she found other people and it was all peeled back...

Lie to me 'cause honestly I don't believe that you believe The lies you tried to feed to me Like keep your head down Happy isn't free

26. Barricade - Stars If you've done my music rambles before, you know that this is my Fit & Philza song. However in this AU where they've known each other for a very long time - on and off - it somehow is stronger. Apply the hate to hating the system they fight, and the love to them having been a couple in all but name back before the wasteland was sealed and they were forcibly separated, and there we go. It's so good here where they used to fight together, but Philza hung up his sword when the trauma got too much - even now he's support - while Fit went in deeper and harder and more violent. They're still very close, of course, but... Well... It's not what it was before. Ask me to ramble about them. I've written very little but god these two.

In Bermondsey in Burberry, you held me at the barricade, the pigs arrived with tear gas And I wept at the mistakes we made We stalked the streets like animals And danced as windows shattered For our island, for the thrill of it, for everything that mattered

27. Back To The Start - Michael Schulte I don't think it takes a genius to work out why some - many - of the characters would like to reset the timeline and go back to something simpler. I can't decide who this works best for, but probably for someone who was genuinely happy before things got complicated - Maxo, the Quackities, Bagi (even if before was a very long time ago for her)... I think especially, especially Bagi. She's not as stuck as she is in canon, but... She'd still give anything to be ten again and be playing in the woods with her brother.

If I could go, go into my heart And search for all the places I left the spark To find a way, way back to the olden days Before it started falling apart

28. To Them These Streets Belong - Rise Against Again, another how can I not band. I don't have much amazing reasoning here (and might add more from the album some time), just... go listen and you'll probably get it. This song is angry and they are too.

Head hung from shame we bear a weight That brings me to a crawl These years of longing tell decades Of unanswered calls For a change, 'cause everyday we slip and fall Kicked while we're down, our fists clench into ball

29. No Sound But The Wind - Editors And back onto the sad stuff. I don't mean that to be disparaging, but it's true. Very heavy vibes for before they got the airship together. The group was much smaller then, constantly on the move and on foot about it too. Even then, it's a quiet reflection on the state of everything. There aren't many parent-child groups prior to the Eggs, and the Eggs don't remember the before, but... yeeeeah... Sad vibes of the world, sung to someone you want to but cannot protect.

We walk through the ash And the charred remains of our country Keep an eye on my back I'll keep an eye on the road

30. The Beginning After The End - Stars This is mostly a music piece, so you get all the lyrics. Please enjoy it. The sound like a heartbeat building up into music, slowly growing and growing and growing and growing as more things are added, as more joins in. Dropping with a low beat, following through into something a little angrier before gaining back the dance, now merged, less bright but still continuing on. Life in the face of disaster, hope at the end of it all, there will be a morning to doubt what you've done, there will be an end and the music will only get there together. You'll fight and you'll fail and you'll get up and keep going and in the end... Will it be worth it? Well, you just have to get there to answer that, don't you?

Oh, the blood and the treasure And then losing it all The time that we wasted And the place where we fall Will we wake in the morning and know what it was all for? Up in our bedroom After the war

31. Oh, What A Life - American Authors God I don't know what to say here, just every lyric. The talk of burying your soul, forgetting who you are, fields of bodies and a longing for the past, and yet no matter how long it's been or how lost you feel you laugh and you cry and you sing, because you're human, no matter how burnt out you are, no matter the sins you've done, no matter the trauma and the trauma and the trauma and the fear you are still only human and perhaps it's with hysteria that you laugh, with reckless abandon that you dance, but you're laughing and dancing all the same. Maybe you don't accept it, not yet, but perhaps the first step to believing it'll be okay is to say it's fucking shit right now.

But I tried so hard, and we tried so hard And it's a long long road, that you told me so Yeah I tried so hard, to forget where we are And all we do is laugh and we sing

32. Angel With A Shotgun - The Cab It could be many things. This song could be so many things, it could be innocence lost because you're needed, it could be a meditation on holiness and unholiness and the meaninglessness of the distinction in times of crisis, it could just be that sometimes to survive you fuck shit up. But's it's literally called angel with a shotgun and Philza is right fucking there with, you guessed it, a motherfucking shotgun.

Get out your guns, battles begun Are you a saint, or a sinner? If loves a fight, than I shall die With my heart on a trigger

33. Lucky Ones - Lana Del Ray It is, technically, true that the characters in the Order are the lucky ones. They survived the invasion, dodged the kidnappings, escaped the cities and the aliens don't even pretend it's a paradise anymore because people are just used to it. Doesn't mean it feels like it, though. It's a love song, so take your pick of couples, and maybe it's actually sad about love being hard or rare but maybe you can turn it to all the deaths and the horror and the violence and maybe, just maybe, this time they'll get out alive.

Let's get out of this town, baby, we're on fire Everyone around here seems to be going down, down, down If you stick with me, I can take you higher and higher It feels like all of our friends are lost Nobody's found, found, found

34. Polaroid Picture - Frank Turner This was added to the list with the thought of Forever's office and the photographs on the wall, and the clinging to the memories of his friends who have been torn away from him.. If you'd rather not think about him... Well, there's plenty of other characters with close relationships who would do anything to hold onto little memories. And there's plenty of chances that those memories will be all they have left, soon enough...

Let go of the little distractions Hold close to the ones that you love Because we won't all be here this time next year So while you can take a picture of us

35. The Sun Is Also A Warrior - Leslie Fish The Federation does offer global peace, this is true. Under the single government no war continues, via methodology of harshly suppressing life and freedom. And, just as the man in the song learns, perhaps, perhaps, it is not worth it.

"Go rebuild now," the old god said "Feed the living and bury the dead And remember this when you speak of war And think upon what is worth fighting for"

36. That's Okay - The Hush Sound I could say this is about the handful of dead characters, or about the Eggs who have been created and mistreated and abused and just want each other and to be safe, but no. When I listen I don't think of anyone who is actually unloved, I don't think of anyone who will be forgotten - I think of Tazercraft and their inability to believe anyone but each other could ever love them. This was originally the last song on the list, I've just been adding a few more since. I should probably put it back to last but eh.

And when you're gone, will they say your name? And when you're gone, will they love you the same? If not, that's okay.

37. Way Down We Go - KAELO Not a song I know well, but I got it on shuffle and thought the vibes fit. There's nothing clever here, that's it. I've listened to it maybe twice I don't have strong thoughts.

Oh, 'cause they will run you down, down 'til the dark Yes and they will run you down, down 'til you fall And they will run you down, down 'til you go Yeah, so you can't crawl no more

38. Happier - Marshmello, Bastille Again, not one I know well, just vibes. Lyrics wise it could easily be Fit and Spreen, but just listen and vibe and enjoy.

Then only for a minute I want to change my mind 'Cause this just don't feel right to me I wanna raise your spirits I want to see you smile but Know that means I'll have to leave

39. Afraid Of The Dark - Chef'Special Recommended by rabbit-harpist! This song gives me different character vibes in different places, but largely Baghera, Pac, Mike, and Missa. Of all combos. The idea of trying to face your fear and make friends with it is very Missa thing to do, I feel. But the Pac and Mike is the bit about doing better and the utter wreck of either and both of them's mental health, even compared to everyone else. It's still mostly Missa to me. He's doing his best and his best is worth doing and he might be doing it scared and he might want the comfort but gdi he's trying. And Baghera... Poor Baghera, you'll see eventually.

I am still afraid of the dark Even though there's a sky full of stars I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on the run Can you leave a little light on?

40. The London Air Raids - Vian Izak Once again recommended by rabbit-harpist. There's so many pairings - friends and romantic - this one could be. I know Rabbit thinks of Phil/Missa and yes that's a very good one here! I have also deemed this one Felps vibes. With, quite frankly, any of his friends. Frankly it's anything soft but angsty. And, frankly, there's a lot of that in this au. It's like. The vibe. Ripping out splinters and all that.

But I know that I'm safe here with you 'Cause we made it through everything, the old and the new Just wake me up when all this is over Wake me up and tell me it's not true

Honourable Mention: How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty Recommended by guestcom2 over on ao3 and they are correct in that this song should, by all rights, be on the playlist. It is nearly perfect. It is however too ingrained in my own mind as associated with a LARP I used to play in for me ever to be able to project anything else onto it. Sorry. >.<

Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend, Let's see how far we've come Let's see how far we've come

#qsmp x xcom #song recs #qsmp au #forever mention #it's very short but it's there so just in case #god this took me so long to write #yes there's a lot of character bias I have my favourites and it's also easier to song for character I've written #or bits of story I'm chewing over #I do have a maybe on some more characters for songs but I need to think them over some more #I am so busy this week so very slow but enjoy the music!

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talenlee · 5 months

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Decemberween ’23 — The New Music From This Year

New Post has been published on PRESS.exe: Decemberween ’23 — The New Music From This Year

How do you listen to new music?

I understand it’s really common for most people to listen to music in their cars or using systems like Spotify, which I don’t like and don’t drive. That’s right, I don’t like cars and I don’t drive Spotify. I listen to podcasts when I travel, usually, and I listen to music while I work at my computer, because I want something that affects my mood while I’m doing, like, this work.

Frustratingly, just because it’s usually there and ad-free, I let Youtube throw mixes at me. Then when I’ve noticed I’ve done that enough that some songs are part of my personal lexicon, I go and acquire those songs some other way, whether bandcamp (in the case of small bands) or

I want to nakedly recommend an mp3 collection to you. You don’t need special software to manage it. You can just dump all your music in a great big heap and use the search function on any mp3 player you like to find the songs you want. You have paid for music, you have paid for the right to use it in different forms, spotify subscriptions are not paying artists and they are rent-seeking on things you can buy directly, or in many cases have already bought.

Anyway, here’s the stuff that I added to my mp3 collection this year.

The Lads are a Christian band from New Zealand I listened to as a kid. I re-found them on Youtube this year. They’d had a song that stuck in my head, an idea that I’ve been trying to stick to, which is if you need a reason to make a change in your life, anything will do. Why not make a big change on Arbor Day, a day you probably had no idea was a day on your calendar?

Arbor Day - The Lads // Arbor Day

Watch this video on YouTube

I mean this isn’t amazing music, but I like having it on hand, you know? The detritus of what we are. Not all of us were influenced by absolute bangers. Sometimes the idea that ‘you can make changes to your life for any given arbitary reason’ is a good thing and it doesn’t matter that much that I got it from a band of dorks who moved to Nashville to sing songs to megachurch kids (which is their spot now).

Sub-Radio - Stacy's Dad (Full Video)

Watch this video on YouTube

Next up, a parody song. Stacy’s Mom is a banger of a song about having a crush on an older woman (and the song doesn’t, like, go anywhere with it). Then we get a delightful genderswapped version here, which I hesitate to call a ‘parody’? It’s the same song, basically, it’s just a different orientation with the same comedy bent.

One thing I do find a little awkward is, now I’m starting on being ‘in my forties’ (man that feels weird to say), hearing someone talk about ‘is he learning about the Civil War’ like – so what?! So what if that’s a thing that interests me!? How did I get read like that?

AJJ - "Brave As A Noun & Survival Song" (KVRX Library Session)

Watch this video on YouTube

The band Andrew Jackson Jihad, for, perhaps sensibly obvious reasons, changed their name recently. This meant they made an announcement on Youtube at some point and I noticed that (‘AJJ on their name announcement?’ what did AJJ mean?) and that meant I listened to some of their music, annnnnd I like it! I’m told they make Folk Punk, which sounds to me like nonsense but I also am firmly of the opinion that there’s nothing quite so punk as making very specific categorisations that everyone around you must adhere to, right?

BANG! - Last Life AMV

Watch this video on YouTube

Thanks to the Last Life Youtube series of Minecraft Hardcore Lets Plays –

What are you laughing at –

I wound up listening to some cool music that was made as part of animatics by cool fans of the series, too. And while sometimes that meant learning about something cool like the band AJR (who are not the same thing as AJJ, thanks file sorting),

Curses - Last Life Animation

Watch this video on YouTube

Or something interestingly indie and creepily jazzy, like The Crane Wives (and I’m sure I’ve shared this before, surely it was in my list of new music last year),

W.I.T.C.H | Double Life SMP

Watch this video on YouTube

Or maybe even something else normal people like like Devon Cole’s WITCH, it did also mean I wound up appreciating a song…

Sharks | Life Series Animatic

Watch this video on YouTube

By Imagine Dragons of all people.

Animatics are great. They recontextualise songs and the recontextualisation means that now I have a story for these songs to be about and not just, like, Imagine Dragons’ latest car ad.

The Killers - A Pirate Looks At Forty (Jimmy Buffett Cover) HQ

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I think I shared this earlier this year too, but it’s the Killers cover of A Pirate Looks At Forty. I may be a bit overly maudlin about anything to do with Jimmy Buffett this year, since this is now the point at which I know that he’s had to leave the party.

Yofukashino Uta

Watch this video on YouTube

Also, this year I listened to a bunch of Anime OPs, because I was watching more anime this year. And the anime this year that I liked just happened to have OPs that I think are great, so I added them to my list. In the vein of ‘sounds like just cool music you might seem international and interesting for listening to,’ there’s the band Creepy Nuts! They do Japanese hiphop and, in addition to the songs from the Call of the Night anime soundtrack, you should also check out Song for the Prodigies.

Summer Time Render - Opening | FULL HD [1080p]

Watch this video on YouTube

The opening of Summer Time Render sounds to me like jangly folk rock? I think people call it College Rock? Problem here is I don’t even know this song’s name. It’s just The Opening To Summer Time Render, which is my favourite anime of the year, like it just absolutely whips ass, so I hear this song and I remember how that show makes me feel, from its first embarrassing opening of boobs and butts to its astoundingly sweet conclusion.

"Mobile Suit Gundam the Witch from Mercury" Textless version of opening "The Blessing" by YOASOBI

Watch this video on YouTube

The opening to Witch from Mercury has a similar effect, but I really like the way it has this, like, descending step effect? The staggering of it, it sings like dancing, and I love the way it feels like it’s responding to its own anxieties.

I have no idea what this song is saying.

TVアニメ『リコリス・リコイル』ノンテロップOPムービー｜ClariS「ALIVE」

Watch this video on YouTube

I think that the opening and ending of Lycoris Recoil whip ass. There’s this thing the opening does which I think anime openings love doing, which is this sort of crooning that turns into a high, wide arc and then abruptly stops and regathers its footing?

Paripi Koumei Ep5 ED

Watch this video on YouTube

Perhaps obviously, Ya Boy Kongming, an anime about music in Shibuya District, has nothing but bangers in its soundtrack. Everything, even the song by the Evil Bad Band That Sucks are good, but I especially like this cover of Kibun Jojo for the ending that adds instrumentation and a rap verse as the series progresses.

Shikimori's Not Just a Cutie - Opening | Honey Jet Coaster

Watch this video on YouTube

On the other hand, Honey Jet Coaster is just… like, energetic sugary pop music, it feels completely artificial and I have no reason to recommend it. Much like everything to do with Shikimori’s Not Just A Cutie you kinda have to get something out of it on a very superficial level, because there is nothing going on here.

(That’s a lie, the song is voiced as if it’s a boyfriend singing about Shikimori, but the vocalist is a woman who sounds like Shikimori, and it describes how Shikimori is a ‘better boyfriend than him’ but you know, so what.)

The Truck Got Stuck - Corb Lund

Watch this video on YouTube

Now a hard swerve from songs I absolutely cannot sing to songs I absolutely can. I learned about Corb Lund this year! He’s a Canadian country musician, who I learned about after a comedian who appeared on Behind The Bastards told a story about how one time, a racist on a neo nazi website reviewed his set he did opening for Corb Lund, and was so upset he realised that Corb Lund might not be racist enough for him.

Anyway, truck got stuck.

Roll Northumbria (Loud Version)

Watch this video on YouTube

Continuing Canadian songs I can sing along to, The Dreadnoughts dropped an album late last year, lot of good songs but especially good is this version of Roll Northumbria, which is a song I already liked, but this time rendered as a big loud stomping song.

Sidle Up

Watch this video on YouTube

Also, something that a lot of bands I like have in common is how good they get when they say, turn forty and stop carrying around a focus on high school. That’s what happened to the Littlest Man Band, which is actually a spinoff band from Reel Big Fish, a 90s Ska Band One And A Half Hit Wonder. I have liked Reel Big Fish all through the years, but on a few tracks, as a gag, they let their member Scott Klopfenstein just do a wholly soulful rendition of a totally different style.

And uh, then he went and made his own band that just does those songs and they’re great.

blink-182 - ONE MORE TIME (Official Video)

Watch this video on YouTube

Talking about things from the 90s that got better as they matured, Blink 182 have a single this year. Apparently it’s part of an album I have no interest in listening to, but this single, on its own, phew. Just fantastic vibes and a real improvement on their baseline sound. It’s Blink 182, but with just a lot more musical competence and fewer mangled half-rhymes.

I thought after I was done with single paragraph summaries I’d go back through the article and bulk it out with more details, to get up to the word count I wanted. Turns out I’m at one and a half times my word count, oops!

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Decemberween2023

#Decemberween 2023 #Media

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mrnnki · 1 month

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers! :D!!

Cats! Rats! Animals in general! I enjoy creatures. Not as big a fan of dogs/canids as I am of other animals, but I can appreciate them from a distance.

Art, writing, animation, and generally making stuff! Right now, I'm working on a remake of an animatic from a multi-animator project call I made back in 2020, though it'll just be a standalone video this time. Don't have the energy to revive that one when I'm still hosting All I See is Darkness and I'm getting the audio together for a Warriors parody series.

Gonna say whump and hurt/comfort cause I've been on a whump kick lately. It helps me study for class cause when I need to memorize a medicine's effects or an illness's symptoms, I can just torture a blorbo.

Angsty music. Gotta imagine my blorbo suffering to something, lmao. Icon for Hire will never not be my favorite (they recently released a collab with Citizen Soldier, another artist I like!). YouTube handed me Sharp Pains by Hang Your Hate so I've been listening to that on loop. They have some other songs so I'm probably gonna check those out soon. But if you wanna get real edgy, TX2 has some great songs (one of my favorites is Loaded Guns).

This one is very specific, but I've been playing Sonic Origins the past couple of weeks (asked for it for my birthday) and I'm partway through Sonic 2. Tails's sprite is absolutely adorable and made me push through a couple of sections I would've been too frustrated by otherwise cause I've got a little dude following me. I'm not particularly great at video games, but when I'm too tired to draw, they bring me joy.

#rnn.ask #candiedjellybean #frenchlizardbrainfullofktdk #as per usual I don't have the time/energy to continue the chain and I'm sorry about that :(#if anybody wants to participate let me know and I can send you an ask sddjsjd

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sensitivewires · 2 months

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I think the Hazbin Hotel fandom is a really great example of the fruits of fandom blossoming truly because it has been directly and indirectly cultivated *perfectly*.

What I mean by that is that, even since my fuzzy memories way back of watching the snippets of the pilot before it fully came out way young, and the streams, just listening to all the little jokes and facts thrown in and watching the animatics that people would make for the quotes from those streams. Then we also can take into account the fact that (I think) Viv pulled/changed/used most of? All of? The characters in other things beforehand; I remember seeing a comic of Angel Dust being interrogated by an angel, I think, which is what made me start paying attention in the first place. Which is cool to remember, actually. Either that or Viv’s Die Young animation is what drew me in, I also really loved her Meghan Trainor animatic/animation. And the animation about the town with different numbers of eyes!

The point of all of those background faded memory details was to explain my thoughts on how many different ways people were drawn in even before the pilot, or Hazbin Hotel, or Helluva Boss, were a thing. A part of (or multiple parts of?) the fandom could have at one time probably been considered the Vivziepop fandom and to this day still could be called that in some cases.

I also remember that during streams, a lot of fanart would be shown! And animations/animatics made by fans about the streams and the characters/upcoming show/pilot in general would be shown also, if I remember correctly. This encouraged artists to join the fandom, anyone who enjoyed consuming a lot of animatic content on YouTube (which was extremely popular at the time), and the LGBT+ community because as we all know a majority of the characters in Hazbin Hotel are LGBT+.

That even could connect into the art community again, since a large percentage of LGBT+ people are artistic and a huge and main, primary part of fandom and art cultures in most spaces. This show hit the EXACT demographic it needed to in order to become extremely and invariably popular both at the time and in the future.

We can also think about the fact that merch was being dropped I believe long before the pilot even was finished or posted, correct me if I’m wrong, and in batch drops with sale prices which are all fantastic incredible marketing moves. *Vox brain fritzing out here sry love analyzing shit.*

So, you’ve got art being made at a constant rate because of regular streams and buzz and interest and fixations generating. Take into account systems, take into account shippers (shipping is HUGE in the Hazbin Hotel fandom now but it has always been huge and a driving force behind the content’s incredible amounts of widespread popularity) and the fact that shipping is not only not discouraged but has been actively encouraged by people that have worked on the show from day 1 and from Viv herself. Then take into account the fact that art spawns fanfiction, and as soon as something ends up going viral for shipping art, it’s going to start sucking up not only a shipping fanbase like a thirsty sponge but also a general fanbase interested in what’s drawing the shippers to the form of media and if it’s good, like other scavengers being drawn in by crows yk

And then that generates cosplay because cosplayers live in every aforementioned community above and people are typically multitalented, especially with an artistic brain. A brain more prone to art is more prone to write and someone who is LGBT+ or interested in fandom is more likely to be interested in the cosplay community, which presents a unique opportunity to be and feel like anyone and anything that you want (I could even connect the fandoms for musicals to the this because cosplay connects to the theatre kids/theatre communities in general, which are intertwined in fandom, shipping, animatic/animation, art, LGBT+, okay y’all get it moving on now)

Basically what I’m trying to say is there was already too much content for anyone interested in anything about Hazbin to get through it all by the time the pilot came out, which is PERFECT circumstantial fandom food.

And then you actually do get to the pilot releasing, which was highly anticipated and if I remember right it was also delayed at least once. But the fancontent cushioned and continues to cushion any hiatus, and that’s what happened while we waited for the show to come out. Content KEPT GENERATING because the internet is fucking gigantic and fandom culture is like a grapevine that can’t stop spreading. The Hazbin fandom was basically like if someone planted mint but on the internet. The art style and colors are also very bright, unique for what mainstream animation has really been before, but it also is more adult than the things we have been getting such as the newer and groundbreaking tbh She-Ra leading up to making it possible to put this show out there, which makes it possible for adults to get into creating raw personal content for something mainstream that contains LGBT+ characters. There’s swearing, there’s musical numbers (musical fandoms again, ayy), there’s canonically LGBT+ characters and relationships and themes, there’s good grounds for subtext and in-betweens which comic artists and fanfic authors especially *love* as do shippers. And the best thing a fandom can have for growth is shippers.

Vox brain fuckin rocking up and down from his heels to his toes with excitement abt all this shit. Okay okay and so

Then the show went through the fuckery about if it was being properly advertised, if it was delayed again, I don’t even know I stopped paying attention to that tbh I was just waiting, and then it finally *comes out*, and it’s releasing, and the fandom goes buck wild.

If there wasn’t already mountains of content before, hoooooooly shit now.

This fandom does tropes like none I’ve ever seen, I just have to note. My personal favorite is Vox’s one-sided psychosexual obsession with Alastor lmaoreal

My point is—

These circumstances were optimal to drag people from *everywhere*, even some kicking and screaming that had quit fandom and/or shipping culture altogether for *years*. We have folks from every reach of fandom culture writing fanfiction and making animations/animatics, comics, art, comic dubs, cosplays, songs, everything we usually do yk for this one thing.

What spawned this post was the fact that I was reading a fanfiction on ao3 that was written so well that it read like a novel and the author’s vocabulary was reminding me of the amazing shit I used to read back in like 2015 in the destiel fandom, lo and behold the author’s note said they hadn’t written anything since 2011 and the last thing on their ao3 was from Fullmetal Alchemist. Like?? That’s so cool? Do y’all see what we have here and have y’all been seeing this, it’s fascinating and dynamic and very unique. The energy I see in the Hazbin fandom sometimes reminds me of the energy of the micro-fandoms that crop up yearly around the classic books and movies they make you analyze in school (The Great Gatsby is one of my favorite fandoms that is fed partially by this phenomenon).

I lost my point so I’d say this is about done, but fuck yeah! Hope anyone who actually finished this enjoyed my literal rambling about the popularity and cultivation of fandom of Hazbin Hotel bc I read a radiostatic fic on ao3 that was almost a religious experience.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #vox wrote this post through my body #analyzing the hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel fandom #vox ghostwrote this post

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telemna-hyelle · 2 years

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Like Patience on a Monument

I said I woke up and had angsty Legend/Fable thoughts, so here they are.

Have some Fable pining!

I was partly inspired by one of my favorite zelink animatics of all time: Strawberry Blonde by Becky Weber on youtube. It’s the best go watch it.

And don’t worry, you know me! The fic has a happy ending. It just has a rather large amount of sad to get through first.

She was twelve when she met him, when he unlocked her cell door and knelt before her on the dank stones. When he took her hand and assured her he’d heard her voice.

She was twelve, and it was little wonder that her heart beat faster for some reason other than fear as he led her by the hand through the dungeons to safety. Or when he wrapped his cloak around her to make sure she stayed warm and dry. Or when….

Well. He wasn’t making this easy.

Then Ganon was defeated, and in the resulting peace afterwards, Link would be constantly stopping by; often bringing her apples from his orchard. Then, as she sat and enjoyed her treat, he’d play her music on his ocarina, or tell her stories: moments from his own journey or outlandish tales he’d heard from travelers from far away.

She could see the sparkle in his eyes when he spoke of those other countries, and so she was ready to smile and wave him off when he set off for distant lands.

She prayed for him every morning, and tried not to miss him too much. That was impossible, though, so she settled for putting on a smile and getting things done. It was better than moping around the castle and staring moodily at the apple trees in the garden for daring to not taste half so good, after all.

Sometimes she’d daydream that he was missing her, too, and wondered what he would say when he saw her again.

Then the Twinrova snatched her up, and Link saved her again.

This time, however, she borrowed a little of Link’s courage, squeezed her eyes shut, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Her face turned a brilliant scarlet as she leaned back, her heart frantically jumping in her throat—

But Link was blushing just as much, a silly grin on his face, and Zelda felt like she was flying through the clouds.

They had to say goodbye then, however, because Link’s feet were still itching to wander. “I’ll take the sea route back,” He said with a grin, “And you can take the land route, and we’ll see who gets home first! It’ll be like a race.”

That sounded fun, so Zelda agreed. She hugged him goodbye on the pier, waved happily until his little boat disappeared over the horizon, and then ran to Impa to tell her they were leaving.

She missed him this time, but it was a different sort of missing, a missing full of anticipation for what would happen when they saw each other again. Each night she thought of Link’s reaction to her kiss, and felt a warm, bright feeling slowly unfold in her heart, like a seed opening into a seedling.

As she fell asleep, she curled about this seedling of emotions, clutching it close to her chest, but she didn’t quite dare to give it a name.

When Zelda arrived back in Hyrule, Link was nowhere to be found. At first Zelda was ecstatic. She’d won their race, and when Link returned she’d tease him for weeks.

But Link didn’t return.

……………………………………….

She waited, and waited, and waited, and with each morning she awoke and saw Impa shake her head sadly, another crack formed in her heart.

She had trouble sleeping, and trouble eating, but she forced a smile on her face and dove into her work, trying and trying to distract herself from the whirling thoughts in her head.

They served apple tarts for desert one day, and she burst into tears after taking one bite.

Then, one day, a traveler showed up at the door. The guards eyed his rather bedraggled appearance uncertainly, but he was bearing the symbol of the royal family, so they let him in.

The knock came hesitantly on her door, and Zelda was already rushing towards it when it swung open—she knew that sound, and hearing it again after beginning to think she never would—

And though she knew it was him from the moment she heard the knock, she wasn’t prepared for what it would be like to see him again, sunburned and tattered but there. She flung herself towards him with a sob, and he caught her in his arms, and they clung to each other and cried. And in his embrace, Zelda could feel all those little cracks healing, warmth and relief and joy smoothing them over like clay over cracked pottery.

Then she’d pulled back, and smiled, at him, and he’d smiled back… but the smile wasn’t right.

She’d pulled him to her window seat, and they sat there for hours, Zelda holding his hands as he stared out the window.

At the feel of his hands in hers she felt none of the bubbly pitter-patter of her twelve-year-old heart; this time she only felt cold and aching and dreadfully afraid.

And then, as the sun began to sink towards the horizon, casting the world in a glaze of bittersweet orange, he spoke. “Her name was Marin.” He said. “And I loved her.”

And all the little cracks that had just begun to heal over broke again, and Zelda’s heart shattered.

She held him, for hours, as he drenched her shoulder with tears, and she cried with him. With each droplet that fell, her heart broke anew; for him, for her, for the Marin that was lost.

She was sad, and lonely, and furious at herself for hurting when he was the one hurting, and aching so terribly because she couldn’t even be happy for him. Because there was no happiness here to be had.

At last his tears ran out, and she wiped the traces away. Zelda wrapped him in a blanket as snugly as Link had once wrapped her in his cloak, and she called for warm tea and smiled and told him the news of the realm, trying to distract him. From his pain. From hers.

It was dawn by the time they finished talking, and Link insisted on going home to rest then. So Zelda stood at the gate to the castle and waved him away as he disappeared around the bend in the road.

Then she turned, and ran. Across the moat and courtyard, down the hallways of the castle, until she reached the room and locked the door.

Then Zelda crumpled onto the floor and cried for all the broken pieces of her heart, at the loss of all that she had ever wanted; and she hated herself for her selfishness.

……………………………………….

Time passed.

Link began to smile again, but he’d… changed. Now he hid behind a prickly wall, poking and prodding and teasing to prevent being poked and prodded himself. He was never this way to Zelda, of course—with her he was always kind and respectful, but… it was different. He was different.

Zelda couldn’t afford to be different. She had to smile and hide her own heartbreak, because she could never let him know he’d broken her heart by mistake. It wasn’t his fault he loved someone else.

Still. She ached. But not just for herself, for him as well, to see him so pained and changed.

She wished he would find happiness, even if it was with some other lady, just so long as he was happy. She wanted so badly to be happy for him, because then he would be happy, and all would be well. Her feelings didn’t matter now.

Another adventure came and went, and Link seemed to let the sudden departure of his newest friend—his counterpart from Lorule—roll of his back like water on a duck. But Zelda saw how he trailed into the castle, shoulders slumped, when the emptiness of his house became a little too much.

When Link wasn’t around, Zelda cried for him because he wouldn’t. First the loss of the love of his life, and then that of his best friend—she couldn’t even fathom the hurt he was shouldering.

But eventually that got better too, and whenever Link came around, he came with a snarky smile and a confident swagger, and his shoulders were no longer straining to hide their slump.

He began genuinely joking again, grinning and eyes sparkling as he told her stories of his adventures in Lorule and Holodrum and Labrynna, stories she never got to hear before, because of their decision to race each other home. He would bring her apples, or play her tunes on his ocarina, and Zelda felt some of her worry wash away.

She watched the sparkle in his eyes, and smiled knowingly, and braced herself for when he’d bring a girl to the castle to introduce her. Zelda vowed to be ready, so when he smiled and laughed and held that girl’s hand, she could smile and laugh with him.

Then one day… Link stopped coming.

Zelda felt the old dread from years ago crawling back, but she gritted her teeth and shouldered it. She had to have trust in Link, that he was all right, that the strange, extra-strong monsters she sent him out to investigate were nothing to his courage and cleverness.

So she worked, and worked, and kept smiling for her people, and set the fear aside with the bruised and broken pieces of her heart. She tucked it in a corner where she could control it, rather than let it control her, so she could hold it and breathe and face it at her own pace.

But she avoided the apple trees in the gardens, and Impa instructed the cooks not to bring her apple tarts.

And then… a letter arrived.

Zelda opened it, and read it, and she cried. For Link was all right, except he was Legend, now. He was on a new adventure, and he wasn’t alone—he’d made friends. Brothers. People who could be there for him, who could have his back, who could lend a shoulder when Zelda wasn’t there to do so.

And, at the end of the letter, he’d written,

Love,

Legend

Zelda smiled at the signature. It was a bittersweet smile, a little achy and thin, and she tried not to think of how she would have reacted several years ago.

That was all right. It hurt a little bit, but not too much. She was mostly simply glad that he could express such things again, and not hide behind his prickly wall.

So she tucked the letter away in a little drawer besides her bed, and beat furiously at the thoughts that whispered foolish and selfish and hopeless, refusing to let them bother her.

Then Zelda settled down to wait for Legend’s adventure to wind its way around back to her time, content as she could manage to be.

……………………………………….

The knock came at her door, bright and eager, and Zelda was already running towards the door when it swung open. Before she could even blink Legend had swept her up in a hug, twirling her around once before dropping her on the floor.

Zelda shrieked, and smacked his shoulder, and gave him a righteous kick to the ankle for good measure, but they both were laughing.

“You’re back!” She’d said, blinking furiously to hide the urge to cry.

“For a little bit.” He smirked, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. “Wanna meet the rest of the idiots I’m traveling with?”

“Of course!” Zelda gasped, bouncing a little with excitement at the thought of meeting all these legendary heroes, and Legend grinned.

“C’mon, then, I’ll introduce you.” And he took her hand in his, pulling her down the hallway after him.

And Zelda…

Zelda felt the feel of his hand wrapped around hers. She looked at the sparkle in his eyes, and the grin on his face.

She felt her heart skip and patter, and with every little joyful beat Zelda felt a crack begin to smooth over.

And with every step, she felt something she had almost forgotten wake up again; that warm, seedling-unfolding sensation in her heart, the one she’d never dared to name.

Zelda had a name for it now, and she called it hope.

……………………………………….

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