#i like robots in clothes and the design was a struggle

[sketchy-galaxy]

finally achieving my life long dream of being Ms. Barbie in 'Barbie and the Nutcracker'

#self ship #self ship art #self shipping #self ships #my self ship #starr's self ships #starr's self ship #*sobs* i love the nutcracker so much #we went to see it last sunday for my birthday and god #it brought back so many memories of being a little kid #and just being so engrossed in barbie movies #i almost started crying during the.... a pine forest in winter scene #it was so beautiful and the music was so emotional #ANYWAY I WANTED TO DRAW PJ AS THE NUTCRACKER #i like robots in clothes and the design was a struggle #i gotta wear dresses more #i look pretty dbdsjjkds #power joe tag

[uvobreakmylegs]

Lamp of the Body

first part of a fic long in the making based on some stuff @hypnoswrites and I were discussing about Chrollo :D

Chrollo x female!reader

Part 2

Warnings: mentions of accidents, injury, isolation, mentions of strangulation

Word count: 6.3k

You were struggling to breathe.

You couldn't see anything.

Your heart was pounding hard against the inside of your chest.

You were scared.

Scared of what? You weren't sure. All you knew was that the adrenaline was rushing through your system while you panicked. And what furthered that panic was the fact that you couldn't move. You were stuck, laying on your back and frozen in place while all of your senses told you that you were in danger.

Then you noticed the figure sitting next to you.

It was too dark to make them out, but you saw their general shape and the way they leaned over you.

Once they realized that you had seen them, they moved.

A hand reached out, turning your face towards them before caressing your cheek in slow motions. An act that should have been comforting, but instead the panic in you worsened and you began to cry.

The figure did nothing to comfort you; they only wiped away the tears that fell. Despite that action that to most would have indicated some amount of care, you didn't feel anything like that when their skin brushed against yours.

They didn't care.

In such a vulnerable state, you were at the mercy of such a person, one who had no concern over your distress.

As if you were simply a spectacle to them.

They wiped away another tear in a robotic manner, and still said nothing when those tears continued.

It didn't seem real.

That was your first thought when you woke up in the morning, your eyes going over details in the bedroom: the thin bits of light showing through the cracks in the blinds, the soft rug that lay on the floor that you had picked out when you'd first moved here, and the door to the walk-in closet that was currently closed. If it had been open you would've seen both your own and Chrollo's clothes hanging inside of it.

At the thought of Chrollo, you looked to the other side of the bed, finding that your boyfriend was still there beside you. You took in the sight of his face, how peaceful his expression was and the way his bangs partially covered the tattoo on his forehead, only allowing little bits of the design to be seen through the black locks. It looked as though he was still fast asleep based on the way his eyes remained closed and how steadily his chest rose and fell with each breath. As much as you felt compelled to scoot over closer and cuddle up against him, in the past your boyfriend had proven to be an incredibly light sleeper and you worried that the action might wake him up.

With all that Chrollo had done for you, the man deserved to get as much sleep as he wanted.

As quietly as you could, you got out of bed and made your way over to the bathroom, periodically looking back over to Chrollo and finding him to still be asleep each time you did. But as you looked back at him one last time before entering the bathroom, you were once again struck by how it still didn't feel completely real, that you were able to look at the image of your sleeping boyfriend.

That you were able to look at anything at all.

The lights came on when you flipped the switch, and instinct had you closing your eyes as they adjusted to the light. When it no longer hurt to have your eyes open, you made your way over to the sink, covering your mouth to yawn before you looked at yourself in the mirror. The gray eyes of your reflection stared back at you, briefly flitting about as you took in the messy state of your hair and wrinkled sleep clothes before you went back to staring at your eyes.

Maybe some might find it weird to be referring to them as being “yours” considering that they were definitely not the eyes you'd been born with and had come from an unknown donor, but seeing that they'd been placed inside your skull, it seemed silly to say otherwise.

Still, to think that just a few months ago you hadn't been able to see at all, your original eyes permanently damaged because of that car accident.

You'd lived that way for almost a year, and after getting used to the world being in total darkness with only the images in your memory to go off of, it didn't seem real that you were able to see again.

You brought a hand up to your cheek, watching as your reflection did the same and lightly brush beneath the area under and around your eye, your fingers briefly lingering on the small bits of scarring on your skin.

It didn't seem real, but clearly it was.

“Is everything alright?”

Hearing Chrollo's voice surprised you, and you looked over to find him entering the bathroom, smiling at you when you made eye contact.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” you answered, adding “sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.”

“You didn't,” he said, “I woke up on my own a moment ago.”

You were about to reply when another yawn came on that you couldn't suppress, and you covered your mouth with your hand.

His eyebrow raised as he asked “are you sure you don't need more sleep?”

“I'm fine,” you said, “I don't think I'd be able to sleep anymore, anyway.”

He nodded.

Then Chrollo walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your form and holding you close to him. You reached up and grabbed at one of his hands, to which he responded by taking your hand in his and lightly squeezing.

“You came in to admire yourself, I see,” he said.

You laughed a little.

“Don't know if there's much to admire here at the moment,” you answered.

“I disagree,” he said, “there's quite a lot to admire about you.”

“Well, you're biased, so I don't know how much I can trust you on that,” you said.

He chuckled, taking the hand that he held and lifting it so he could place a kiss on your skin. As he did that your gaze went back to the mirror.

It was a nice image, you thought to yourself. You and your boyfriend, both of you with hair that needed to be brushed and looking rather disheveled after getting out of bed, standing together and holding one another in a moment of peaceful quiet.

A definite contrast to what life had been during the last nine months where the days had been filled with anxiety despite how hard you tried to adjust to a new way of living. Unsurprisingly, having one of your senses be unexpectedly taken away was a difficult thing to cope with.

Despite what had happened, you spent a relatively short amount of time in the hospital as Chrollo had been insistent on you returning home with him as soon as possible. You hadn't minded that too much. Even though you hadn't stayed there long, the loss of your eyesight had made your other senses get stronger. As such, you'd grown to truly hate the smell of hospitals, the feeling of needles poking into your skin and the never-ending beeping of the machines you'd be hooked up to.

Being in the comfort of your home while you recovered was preferable.

And hopefully it would be a while before you needed to go back for any doctor's appointment, though when you did, the staff at the hospital would definitely be surprised to find that you were able to see again.

Chrollo seemed to notice that your thoughts had drifted elsewhere as he asked “what is it, love?”

“Nothing too important, I guess,” you said, “just thinking about what'll happen if I ever end up back at that hospital. They'd be surprised if they saw me with how adamant they were that there wasn't anything that could be done for me.”

You looked back at him while asking “why wouldn't they have mentioned the guy in Padokea?”

“I don't know,” he answered, shrugging as he added “perhaps they were worried what might happen if they recommended an experimental surgery and then something went wrong.”

“What do you think could've gone wrong?”

“I'm sure there's a number of things, though I can't say what exactly they might be.”

“I thought you knew everything,” you said teasingly.

He smiled as he answered “I'm afraid I must concede that I only have a basic knowledge when it comes to the world of modern medicine. That's why I usually go to Machi if I have any questions.”

You hummed, looking back to the reflections in the mirror.

You could lose that. In a mere moment your eyesight could be taken away and your world would become dark again.

Remembering the way things had been caused the anxiety to swell inside of you, and this time you voiced your concerns.

“Things will stay this way, right?” you asked him, “nothing's going to happen where the eyes won't work out and I'll need to go back to not being able to see, right?”

Chrollo's hand went to rest on your shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly as he asked “is that what you're worried about?”

You nodded.

“It'd be sad to get back my eyesight and then have it taken away again,” you added.

Chrollo pulled you around so you were no longer facing the mirror. Then he leaned down and pressed a kiss against your lips before holding you against himself.

He spoke again.

“Everything will be fine, love,” he told you, “nothing's gone wrong since we came back, and if we were to call up that professional, he'd tell you that everything is fine.”

“You're sure he'd say that?” you asked.

“I'm sure.”

His hand was on your head stroking your hair. That alone was able to quell the anxiety that had begun to grow in your chest.

“After all,” he continued, “I promised that you'd be fine, didn't I?”

You nodded, remembering what he said to you almost a year ago.

You still remembered the way he'd grasped your hand and the feel of the fur that lined the cuffs of his coat sleeves brushing against your skin. You remembered the cast that your leg had been trapped in and the constant beeping of the monitors beside your bed. You remembered the darkness.

And you remembered how easily your spirits were lifted when Chrollo spoke to you.

“Everything will be fine, love. I promise you.”

At the time you thought he was only saying that so you would feel a bit better about your situation, that he was simply doing his best to be a supportive boyfriend as he navigated through the results of this accident with you. While the future may not have been completely bleak, it was without a doubt going to be different than what you could have ever imagined and you and Chrollo were going to need to find a new version of your “normal”.

At the time you never would have thought he'd find a way to make things go back to the way they'd been before the accident.

Yet he had.

And now you were here.

Still not completely recovered as the trauma that had come with being in such a nasty accident remained with you and would likely stay with you for a long time to come, but you were still in a much better place than you had been in the previous months.

And Chrollo had been by your side every step of the way.

He pulled away, cupping your cheek and moving your head up to look at him.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

You nodded.

“Yeah,” you answered, smiling after.

He kissed you again before saying “we may as well start getting ready for the day.”

He let you go after that, moving over to his side of the sink.

“Are you working today?” you asked.

“No, not today. My schedule is free.”

“Do we have anything planned?”

“Nothing in particular,” he answered, “although I suppose I should figure out something fast, otherwise you'll be insistent on watching horror movies all day.”

You pouted a little as you asked “what's wrong with that?”

“Ordinarily there would be nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, you never seem to be able to pick any good movies,” he replied.

“Rude.”

“It's the truth, love.”

“Even if it is, you aren't supposed to say that.”

“So I'm supposed to lie to you?”

“When it comes to my taste in movies, yeah.”

“Interesting.”

There wasn't any malice behind either of your words during that bit of banter, and you couldn't help giggling a little bit after. Chrollo also had a soft smile on his face, though the somewhat distant gaze his gray eyes made it seem as though he was thinking about something.

His eyes…

… Huh. You hadn't really thought about it before.

“We almost match now,” you said.

“Hm?”

He glanced over to you, waiting for you to elaborate.

“Our eyes,” you explained, pointing to your own as you continued with “we almost have the same eye color now. It's off by just a few shades.”

Chrollo's hummed as he smiled again.

“So we do.”

Was that a dumb thing to point out? If it was he wouldn't say anything like that. And with the amount of time the two of you had been together, he was probably used to hearing such things from you. How a man like him wanted to be with someone like you, you would never know. But after the events of the past few months, you could say with one hundred percent certainty that he deeply cared about you.

Really, you didn't deserve him.

“I'll do whatever you want to do today, Chrollo,” you said, smiling at him again.

He smiled back at you as he said “I'll need to make sure I come up with something good, then.”

The accident happened when Chrollo was away on business, during one of his trips that he took every few months that lasted up to a few weeks on average. You never quite knew what those trips were about; Chrollo said he couldn't tell you and communication with him during those times was shoddy at best, so you didn't even have much to go off of to figure out on your own what he was doing. There was a constant curiosity burning in you about what he was doing exactly, but since he told you that you didn't need to know, you stopped pressing the issue.

If Chrollo said so, then you trusted him.

Not that your trust helped at all in how lonely those weeks would be while he was gone. With communication being almost non-existent while he was away and no one else around to hang out with or even really talk to, the feeling of isolation would take over fast. For that reason, you figured that things would be more interesting if you were to step out of your routine. That day you headed out to attend a convention that was taking place not too far from where you lived in the hopes you could browse around, perhaps make a few new friends, but mostly to do something different.

When you were on your way was when a careless driver slammed headfirst into the taxi you'd been riding in.

Your leg and collarbone had both been broken, and one of your wrists and a few of your ribs had been fractured. Terrible injuries, to be sure, but those were things that you could recover from.

The loss of your eyesight was a different story, and the doctor who'd treated your injuries had informed you that there was no way to bring that back.

Hearing that had been hard.

It was made harder still when your attempts to reach Chrollo failed.

Even after giving them his number, the hospital had been unable to contact Chrollo as every single call they made failed to go through. With you stuck in bed with all of your injuries and not having anyone else you could contact, it was a devastating few days.

But on the afternoon of your third day in the hospital he showed up unexpectedly, heading straight to your room and calling out to you once he saw you. Relief filled you in the moment where you heard his voice, but the gravity of the situation brought you back down not long after. His hands grasped yours, and you felt the fur that lined the cuffs of his coat brush against your skin as you tearfully told him that you couldn't see anymore.

It seemed to take him a moment to process that information as he remained silent at first.

After a few moments, he pulled your hand up to his mouth and placed a kiss to your skin.

And then he spoke again.

“Everything will be fine, love. I promise you.”

The words had been spoken with conviction.

And he was right.

Everything had seemingly gone back to the way it was before, and that fact in of itself was better than you could've hoped for.

It was hard to breathe, and you could feel the adrenaline pumping through you while you lay frozen in place. You couldn't move. No matter how many times your brain ordered your limbs to break free of their state of stasis, they wouldn't comply, and you were stuck, laying as though rigor mortis had set in.

The figure was there. Though you still couldn't see them clearly, you felt them watching you.

Why wouldn't they help you? Why did they only ever watch?

Your jaw refused to open so you could ask those questions, and you were left to harshly breathe through your nose while the figure continued to observe you.

The next morning, while you fought with the eggs that didn't want to be unstuck from the pan, a thought came to you.

“What sort of things does Kortopi like?” you asked, looking back to where Chrollo sat at the table.

“Kortopi? He likes books. He also enjoys making miniatures.”

“Miniatures?”

“Those sets you can get from hobby stores,” Chrollo clarified before adding, “what makes you ask?”

You turned back to the pan as you answered “I wanted to do something for him since he helped us out. I thought maybe I could get him something nice; like I could put together a basket of stuff he'd like as a way to say 'thank you'. Same with Pakunoda and Machi.”

You paused before adding “and Shalnark.”

“Why the hesitation in naming Shalnark?”

Of course he picked up on that.

“… I don't want to say anything bad about your friend,” you replied.

You glanced back to find that his eyebrow had raised slightly.

“Oh? What did he do?”

You were hesitant to answer, because while Shalnark had been rather intrusive when he'd been here with you, he had been helping you and Chrollo out. Still, you knew from past experiences that Chrollo wasn't going to let this go.

“…. Some of the questions he asked me were a little invasive,” you admitted, “and I think he might have been going through our stuff.”

Chrollo didn't seem surprised.

“Shalnark does have a bad habit of being a bit too nosy,” he said, “but I doubt he meant any actual harm in anything he said or did.”

“Why didn't you bring this up back then?” he then asked.

“He was doing us a favor,” you said, “and you said that I could trust him. Just… Maybe if he ever comes back, we should make sure you're around to keep him in line.”

You heard him let out a chuckle as you went back to your cooking.

“He usually listens to me, so that shouldn't be an issue,” Chrollo said, “and if you'd like, I can take care of getting him something.”

“Nah, I'll still get him a gift as thanks. It'd be rude if I didn't,” you said, “hopefully I won't need him or any of your other friends to babysit me again.”

The eggs managed to not be burned when you pushed them out of the pan and onto your plate, and after months of being out of practice when it came to cooking, it felt good that you'd managed to do that much.

“I still don't think you needed to call on them as much as you did,” you added, “I would've been fine on my own for a few hours those times you were gone.”

“It was better for you to have not needed them than be in a situation where you were having an emergency and couldn't get help,” he answered.

“I'm not sure how much trouble I could've gotten into on my own, honestly,” you said.

“You never know.”

“I guess. I feel bad for taking up their time like that, though.”

“They were happy to help,” he told you, “but I do think your idea of gifts as a way of thanking them is a good one.”

Setting the plate of eggs down at the table, you sat down as you asked “where are you heading out today?”

He was already dressed to go out, and he'd finished up his coffee just as you took your seat.

“Nowhere special. I just need to take care of a few things in relation to my last job,” he answered.

“How long will you be out?”

“Not long. I should be back after lunch.”

“So not long enough that I need someone to look after me,” you said.

He smiled as he said “not this time, no.”

A beat of silence passed, and though you suspected you knew what his response would be, you decided to make a request anyway.

“If I finish this really fast, can I come with you?” you asked.

Though his smile didn't falter, Chrollo shook his head.

“It's not the sort of trip where I can bring you along,” he said.

“Not even if I stay in the car while you go do whatever?”

“Do you really want to be stuck in a car for hours?”

“No,” you admitted, “but it'd be nice to get out for a little bit.”

He nodded while reaching over so he could grasp your hand.

“I know that you're feeling closed off from the rest of the world, love,” Chrollo said, “but I'd much rather you stay in here while you continue your recovery.”

“I feel fine, though. Better than I have in a while,” you replied, “I could start going out a little, right?”

“Perhaps. But not on a trip like this.”

“What then?”

“We can figure that out when I get back.”

He stood up then, and there was a sense of finality in the conversation as he pushed his chair back in place, though he kept his cheerful demeanor when he smiled at you again.

“No need to get up,” he said to you, “I'll see myself out. Don't stress yourself and stay inside.”

That last part was definitely tacked on because of what you'd said.

“Even if I feel fine?” you asked.

“Do it for me, love.”

He finished that off by placing a kiss to your forehead.

Well damn. How could you refuse when he asked you like that?

He smiled at you, and you smiled back at him. Everything was fine.

You were fine when he walked out of the room, gathering his things before making his way to the door. You were fine even when you heard the jingling of his keys and the sound of the door opening. You were fine when you called out one last “goodbye”, to which he responded in kind.

But the instant you heard the front door lock behind him and you could no longer hear his footsteps, your mood fell.

Life got lonely when Chrollo wasn't around. Largely due to how small your world had become as you were lacking when it came to other people you could be around. And while the accident had made things smaller, it had been getting to be that way even before the crash. Friends and family didn't contact you anymore and you didn't know anyone outside of Chrollo's social circle, of whom you very rarely saw. The most time you had spent with anyone aside from your boyfriend was a few hours at a time during those months of recovery when he got his friends to look after you when you were bedridden.

Did your old friends or any of your family even know about the crash?

You had no clue, but since Chrollo said you didn't need to worry about them, you didn't think about them most days.

Though it didn't help how the apartment felt incredibly empty whenever he was gone.

But it was okay.

It would be fine, you told yourself as you finished up your breakfast. Chrollo wouldn't be gone long. His lack of packing an overnight bag or getting one of his friends to stay with you was proof of that. He'd be back before the day was out and everything would be fine.

Everything would be fine as long as Chrollo was with you.

After all, he'd said so.You had your eyesight back.

Though it had taken a while to get to that point. Months of staying put in bed so as to not strain yourself, and then getting used to walking on your own again after your broken bones had healed up. Despite having no vision, muscle memory had kicked in when you were feeling well enough to walk without assistance, and you didn't have much issue navigating the layout of the apartment once your leg had fully healed.

That was when Chrollo came to you with a proposal.

The medical professionals told you there was nothing that could be done about your sight, yet Chrollo had found a way around it, telling you of an experimental new surgery being done somewhere within the Dentora Region of Padokea. Under normal circumstances, you might have been skeptical, and just hearing the word “experimental” made you nervous. But Chrollo managed to convince you to give it a shot. All it took was a single conversation and he had gotten you to agree.

You were glad that he did, otherwise you might not be here like this right now. Back to what your normal had been before the accident, at least for the most part. Being able to be on your own and not needing to worry if you were becoming a burden to your boyfriend. Going back to waiting for him to return from his work and eagerly greeting him when he walked in the door.

Chrollo had done a good job of keeping up a positive attitude while you recovered, but now you were feeling better mentally, his happiness seemed a bit more genuine.

Maybe at some point soon, you could start to go out again like you had before the accident.

That would be something to discuss once he was back.

You woke up in a cold sweat, breathing hard as you sat up in bed, your arms shaking as you struggled to support yourself.

Another nightmare. The same as the others where you couldn't move and someone sat by and stared at you. But this time had been different.

You could still feel their hands around your throat as your air was cut off completely.

A quick check by placing one of your hands to your neck confirmed that it had been a dream; no one was trying to choke the life out of you.

That only brought minimal relief, however. Even if it was only a nightmare, the images were still fresh in your mind, and it had left you shaken. The thought of being unable to fight back or even cry out while someone sat on top of you and tried to kill you was one that made you feel incredibly helpless.

And you were so, so tired of feeling helpless.

Glancing next to you, you were able to make out Chrollo's form on the bed. He was still asleep, otherwise he no doubt would've asked you what was wrong.

Maybe you should tell him.

They'd started weeks after getting back from Padokea, and the first few times you hadn't thought much of them. And even when they continued, you decided to keep it to yourself. They were simply been the result of stress, likely in relation to the accident, and that at some point they would stop on their own. You didn't want to bring it up because you didn't want to saddle him with anymore of your issues. After all, you weren't a child and Chrollo deserved better than for you to go crying to him whenever something mildly inconvenient happened.

If the nightmares had stopped quickly you wouldn't have considered talking to him.

But if anything, they were only increasing in frequency. Not only were they leaving you emotionally exhausted, but you felt that you were being drained physically as well. Your nights were becoming restless and you spent almost all of the next day tired as you tried to recuperate.

No wonder Chrollo didn't want you going out; he could easily see that you were tired and took that to mean that you still weren't well enough for the outside.

It still seemed strange that they would continue as long as they did, though. Especially when you were considerably less stressed than you'd been before the surgery. Why were they happening when things were going well?

… You didn't know. You just wanted them to stop so you wouldn't need to deal with them anymore.

For now just rest, you told yourself.

With that, you settled back down onto the bed, though your gaze went to Chrollo, still asleep and with his back turned to you. After a moment, you scooted over to be closer to him, resting against his back and placing a hand on his arm. Chrollo didn't wake.

A little unusual given how often he awoke to even the slightest of movement on the bed. He must have been more tired than usual. Part of you was sad because of that; it would've been nice to feel him hold you back, to give you some form of reassurance, even if it was one small piece of physical affection.

But waking him up would be selfish.

So you stayed still, not moving any further, keeping your hand on his arm and your face against his back while you took in his scent.

You can deal with this much on your own, you told yourself.

Just rest for now.

“How would you feel about moving?”

You looked up from where you sat on the couch over to where Chrollo stood on the other end of the room. Moments ago you'd both been reading separately, and he'd gotten up when his cellphone had gone off so he could take the call in another room. He had just come back in and that was the first thing he said, and it managed to catch you so off-guard that it took you a bit to process what he just said.

“Moving?” you repeated.

“Yes.”

“And go where?”

“Out of the city,” he said, “somewhere in the country. That would be nice, wouldn't it?”

“…. Huh.”

He seemed surprised at your reaction, as he asked “you don't want to?”

“I don't know,” you said, “I was really looking forward to walking around here again when it's okay for me to go out.”

Shutting your book and placing it to the side, you asked “where exactly are you thinking?”

“Somewhere near the mountains would be nice.”

“…. Wouldn't somewhere near the mountains be several hours away from here?”

“It would.”

“Won't that interfere with your job?”

He shrugged.

“Relocating won't effect me much,” he said, “my work already requires me to travel. Adding a few more hours to my trips is hardly a sacrifice.”

“Besides,” he added, “I think a new environment would be better for you, especially one that kept you away from the stresses outside here.”

That made sense. Everything he said made sense, as it always did.

But still.

“I really like it here, though,” you said, “there are specific places I haven't been to since the accident that I want to visit again, and I won't be able to do that if we move. Not easily, at least.”

“I understand, but you shouldn't be sacrificing your health just to see certain places again.”

“I'm not sacrificing anything.”

At that, Chrollo leaned against the door frame before he sighed.

“You haven't been doing well, love,” he told you.

You frowned.

“I thought I was doing pretty good, all things considered,” you said.

“You spend most of your days exhausted.”

“I'm not that exhausted.”

To that, Chrollo gave you a pointed look. One that clearly told you that he didn't believe you and you knew you couldn't continue to insist that he was wrong.

“Okay, maybe I'm not doing as great as I'd like, but I'm still getting used to things. It doesn't mean we need to completely leave the lives we have here,” you insisted.

Should you mention the nightmares, that those were probably part of the issue? No…. He might use those as another reason as to why what he was suggesting was the correct decision, and therefore, the decision that you needed to go with. Like most things when it came to your life.

Not that there were any bad decisions that Chrollo had forced on you, but you generally had little input on them as he expected you to go with what he wanted. Like the eyes. He had basically told you that it was happening and you had been in such a depressive state that you didn't offer much resistance.

But it was different now. You liked it here and you wanted to stay. Plus he'd had this place even before meeting you, and the thought of forcing him to move out of his longtime home made you feel guilty. Even if he was the one who wanted it.

“Moving somewhere else just feels like a really extreme reaction,” you continued.

“Trying to keep your health in mind is extreme?” he asked.

“…. Maybe just a little bit, this time.”

Your voice was a bit more hushed when you answered.

After a moment, he pushed himself off the door frame and began to walk towards where you sat.

Chrollo would get his way again. You could already tell: he was going to talk to you, explain all of the reasons as to why he was right and shoot down every argument you had until you were forced to agree that there was no point in doing it in anyway other than his. Then by the end of the week he'd have found some home away from here, if he didn't have his eye on something already, and you'd find yourself packing up everything before the end of the month.

You loved your boyfriend. You really did.

But you didn't want to leave your home.

Maybe you could find some sort of compromise, figure out something to say that would get him to back down temporarily.

So before he could speak, you asked “what if we just held off on that for a few months? Wait and see how I'm doing after a longer period and come back to the topic of moving?”

“It's been some time already and you haven't gotten better,” he countered.

Sitting down next to you, Chrollo reached out and took your hand in his.

“I understand why you don't want to leave,” he continued, “but we do need to consider what is best for you. And I think staying so close to where that crash happened is having a negative affect on you.”

Giving your hand a light squeeze, he asked “don't you agree?”

You surprised him again when you shook your head.

“I get what you're saying,” you then told him, “but I don't think I'm going to get anywhere if I keep running from my problems. Yeah, I'm tired, but I really want things to go back to how they were. I really want to move past what happened.”

“So I'd feel a lot better if I could at least try to tough it out for a little while longer,” you continued, adding “and maybe you're right, that a change in environment is better for me. So maybe in a few months, if we find that I'm still in the same place, we can look into leaving.”

You stayed quiet a moment before adding “if that sounds good to you.”

It didn't seem like he felt that way. Or did it? You couldn't quite read him at the moment, his expression rather stone-faced as he presumably thought over what you said.

At least he was taking your argument into consideration. At least that was something.

“Alright then, love.”

You sat up straighter when he said that and stayed quiet so he could continue with “we'll hold off on it and come back to this discussion at a later date. However, if it seems like you're getting worse, we will be looking into moving.”

You nodded.

He squeezed your hand again as he then asked “you will tell me if you aren't doing well, won't you?”

“Of course.”

Chrollo stared at you for a moment.

Then he finally conceded, pulling your hand up to his lips so he could kiss it.

You responded by placing a kiss on his cheek, which he couldn't help but smile at.

It wasn't good to lie to him. You knew that.

But you were going to get through your issues without bothering him.

You weren't going to burden him anymore.

#reader insert #yandere chrollo #chrollo x reader #chrollo lucilfer #hxh x reader #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere hunter x hunter

[mars-file-name]

Something that stands out to be about how Murder Drones does horror, is its relationship to organic matter, especially in contrast to how machinery is portrayed.

The main characters are as the title would imply, drones- they live in a cold wasteland, trapped behind doors upon doors of mechanical creations. In a way Murder Drones establishes machinery and robots as its baseline, it's what's comfortable and familiar. Which I find interesting because we as humans are more familiar with the organic, what scares me is a future dystopia dominated by machines, where life struggles to survive.

However in Murder Drones- the moments I find the most freaky are always those where something looks.... Human... Or, alive.

This moment from episode 2 where J goes eldritch horror and Solver appears, the hand that crawls in to grab Thad looks human.

[image description: human looking hand crawling on the ground, but it's revealed to not be attached to an actual human, but instead a long mechanical wire]

This honestly was really freaky to me, because it's so... Wrong. Even when we see actual humans, it's as shadow thingies, or in the case of Tessa, completely covered up by clothing. We see skeletons too, but they're dead, which I feel doesn't really qualify for the horror of something looking... Alive.

I feel like it's mostly with Solver's portrayal that things look... Organic. For example whenever Uzi loses control of her quirky powers, a black hole thingy appears and leaves gooey flesh looking stuff- honestly very gross

[Image description: There's a hole in the wall, with the edges covered in organic looking goo, spreading across the wall. There's a black orb in the center of the hole]

It's also very apparent when comparing Solver Uzi's wing design to the disassembly drones' wing designs. Uzi's are bat-like, with tears and they look more reminiscent of something organically created.

[image description: Uzi looking silly with her bat wings]

Meanwhile Disassembly drone wings are 100% metallic and look like blades, there's a pretty big contrast. Especially when you think of how Uzi actually does start to develop average disassembly drone characteristics, like the mouth, burning in sunlight, and the X for eyes.

Might be besides the point but Uzi's wings look like hands, meanwhile the others' wings don't have that shape really built in anywhere.

Freaky little guy

Something something design language of Solver being completely different to other things in the show.

Anyways I've completely run out of brain juice, hopefully this makes sense

#murder drones analysis #text post #murder drones uzi #murder drones solver #murder drones spoilers #murder drones cyn #murder drones v #murder drones n #serial designation n #serial designation v #murder drones tessa #murder drones j #murder drones #design language #horror #horror anslysis

[generic-anime-boy-bracket]

Round 4 (Semi-Finals) Group B

Shinji Ikari vs Tadano Hitohito

Reasons for being generic + Propaganda below

Shinji Ikari

Reasons:

- Messy black hair - Whiny - Has a tsundere friend - "Friend" - Wears the most boring fucking clothing

Normcore king. He is just A Guy. He’s the first character I thought of when I saw your intro post. 

Most normal kid with depression and abandonment issues ever (and I say this very lovingly). His hair is brown and short with generic bangs, his eyes are brown. Literally just some guy (before the horrors (tm)) His default outfit is black shirt, white dressing shirt, black pants, white shoes (which is also his school uniform)

He just wants to go to high school, have weird feelings about girls, and brood about his relationship with his father. He does not want to get in the fucking robot

He’s a teenager with short black hair and a button up top and uniform pants. Given the iconic status of NGE, I wouldn’t be surprised if Shinji’s design served as a basis for every generic modern mecha/isekai series to come after.

Propaganda:

Your honor, he's so dislikable

He deserves a win after going through the horrors(tm). I know a lot of people don't like Shinji BECAUSE he's "too generic/depressed to be a main character" but if anything that should make him win. He's my blorbo ok? He was literally just some guy who one day got the fate of the world in his hands out of nowhere and when he reasonably is like "yo I'm like super depressed, this is only making me more mentally ill than I already was" everyone goes "ok, pussy much? Call the wambulance" and I think he deserved better. Also he's gay (or at the very least bisexual), so like diversity win. Let him win. Also if he wins we can all say "Congratulations, Shinji" like in the anime

One of the classic 90s anime everymen

Roasts of his design aside, Shinji is a genuinely great and fascinating protagonist. His struggles with depression, identity, self worth and hedgehogs dilemma are compelling to watch and, for a then socially anxious teenage me, were at times crushingly relatable. He’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but he still has a place in my heart.

Tadano Hitohito

Reasons:

Just a good bean. Like a kidney bean

his name is LITERALLY a play on the japanese equivalent of the phrase "just some guy". he is DESIGNED to be a generic-ass dude. everything about him is comically average.

Propaganda:

No propaganda submitted for this character

#generic anime boy bracket #shinji ikari #ikari shinji #neon genesis evangelion #nge shinji #nge #tadano hitohito #komi can't communicate #komi san wa komyushou desu

[phoenixcatch7]

Every so often I dip into transformers fanfic (specifically bayverse) just because the concept of giant shape-shifting mechanical immortal robots just slaps so hard. All of the fics get so close but never quite scratch the itch I want, so here.

Cybertronian Sam Witwicky, vessel of the Allspark

A seeker, naturally, but I haven't decided on alts yet. Or a name (I like Rubicon, because of the doorway/point of no return/on a knifes edge between two worlds meaning and.. Also because the Allspark kinda looks like a rubics cube lmao)(but it doesn't sound quite right and I'd like to lean more into the idea of sacrifice maybe?)(or maybe something celestial or mythical for the space/alien/spark=stars metaphor... Apollo?).

I haven't seen it done, but I really like the idea of the Allspark using its own material to create the cybertronian body, given the total lack of actual resources it has (and needs). This would give Sam a very unique bronze/gold protoform instead of the usual grey/black metal, and eyes/optics the colour of sparks. The feather horn things were meant to be a lot smaller, but that was the smallest they got! And idk, I've grown to like them. A little nod to his organic origins. And the circles are supposed to be extra eyes. The boots I was delighted to find, they blend so well with the body and make it look like he's not bare lol. Because hero forge isn't quite that free with design (yet), please imagine a couple wheels by his ankles he can drop down to rollerblade on.

I had a ton of fun with the colours, I think it's my best one from scratch yet! It was so hard to keep from adding too much detail or clothing, and I did struggle with the sheer bulk of a typical cybertronian build. The pauldrons and scarf help with that, but he's intended to be pretty slight compared to the average anyway. In every continuity they're so, so bulky ToT. I might tinker with the proportions now I've finished the model! The spear... Well I'm a sucker for staffs, but it's not a cybertronian weapon unless it can slice or shoot something, preferably while transforming into something else. This one is also a laser gun, very energy intensive if you're not hooked into an infinite power source lmao. He's got a few emergency cannons in his arms, because... Why not?

Man, now I've made him, I want to write something for him so much... Must resist, must resist...

#transformers #transformers bayverse #sam witwicky #autobots #cybertronian #cybertron #hero forge #There's a lot of headcanons in here I've picked up from fics but I do want to hit up the wikis later #I love the idea of scarfs and head pieces being the only external decor everything else goes directly on the body #transformers cybertron #Cybertron would have a huge body mod scene fr #But I bet a huge part of the MEDICAL scene would be idiots putting unapproved stuff on themselves and it getting stuck/broken #When they turn into their alts XD. #DISTRACTED anyway I had a blast making this hope y'all enjoy it too #Cybertronian Sam Witwicky #3d model #3d art #I bet cybertronians who haven't been to earth look so different given their current forms are all reshuffled human vehicles #And their original alts would be so much smaller given human vehicles are 70% empty space #They really lucked out with vehicles and humans using them for transport. Like if they came in even a couple centuries ago... #The fact they're shapeshifters who can steal the forms of anything nearby of roughly the same mass and makeup is so so cool

[humanitys-last-call]

considering the Elites that worked tirelessly to repair you a new body, where are those elites now? and how has your relationship with them been ever since? (🐙)

"It would help immensely if I could actually present them to you, but I'm afraid our route of communication is limited at the moment.

I suppose you'll just have to humor me and try to imagine what they look like... Actually, that might be a challenge. I've heard that many Inklings are under the assumption that all Octoling soldiers look virtually indistinguishable from each other...

No matter. Moving on."

"There's Helui, a robotics engineer. Those are quite valuable in the Octarian army, you know. Though they are not easy to find...

She's a bit of a strange one. Prone to taunting her colleagues, picks on the lesser Octarians like some sort of schoolyard bully, laughs perhaps just a bit too much- you get the picture. She does as she's told, though, and her work on my body is not without praise. Questionable maturity aside, Helui's engineering talent far exceeds that of her former comrades.

I do not mind her."

"Then there's Wakapi, our mechanic. Hmph. Her work is good, but some of my previous recruits easily dwarf her. Beggars cannot be choosers, however, so her work is within an acceptable standard... for now. She's very sociable and proud, and she needed little persuasion to join me at my side. Despite that, she is mildly rebellious, likely on account of her ego, and she will resist my orders at times or make snappy quips directed at me. The other soldiers do seem to enjoy her presence, though.

My fear is that Wakapi enjoys mine... too much. I am under the suspicion that she's harboring some level of intimate feelings towards me, but I really cannot be certain. I've never been good at spotting these things.

I am not sure how I feel about this one."

"Last, but certainly not least, there is Wanni. Wanni is our humble little clothing designer. She is responsible for my stunning uniform, of course. One befitting of a commander like me, if you could try to visualize it.

She is outwardly meek and speaks little, but she is incredibly vicious on the battlefield. Attacks to kill. Do not underestimate her capabilities. Wanni is frustratingly modest and is a bit of a pushover, especially with Helui, so I do find it aggravating to watch her struggle sometimes. That being said, she is very diligent, and obeys every order without question. Her loyalty never falters.

I am decidedly fond of this Octoling."

#💉 the messenger (denewiah tartarus) #⚙️ eccentric engineer (helui) #🛠 moonstruck mechanic (wakapi) #🪡 darling designer (wanni) #commander tartar #octo expansion #splatoon ask blog #splatoon 2 #splatoon au #splatoon art #answered #sanitized octoling

[archiesoniconline]

Sonic Universe Online #52 Behind The Scenes!

Hello, everyone!  Boy, it’s been a while since we’ve done one of these, huh?  But considering we finally managed to release this issue after its nightmarish production cycle, we decided that it was a good time to bring the “behind the scenes” posts back.  There’s a lot to talk about with this one, so get ready for a real doozy!

As usual, let’s start with the cover.  We wanted to have Bunnie and Scarlett as the focus, and RocketPOW! went through several drafts of what that would look like.  In the end, we settled on having them playing cards in the bar from Sonic Mania’s Mirage Saloon Zone to fit with the desert theme.  It’s also worth noting that we had Jack on the cover at one point but ultimately decided against it, since the story focuses more on his lackeys than himself.

Before we start on the actual story, I guess we should begin with the elephant in the room: Bunnie’s redesign.  Even though we technically first saw her new look in issue 51, we might as well go over it now.  Picking up from where the official comic left off, we knew that Bunnie had a redesign after being legionized, but the reboot happened before we ever got to see it.  And with the redesign of such an important character, obviously there was a lot of pressure to do her justice.  There was some old concept art by Tracy Yardley of legionnaire Bunnie, but we didn’t want to just take that and call it a day.  We had quite a field day with many of our talented artists coming up with their own interpretations of her redesign, including @miitoons, @riggo-draws, @drawloverlala, @fritzymagpies, Tim Campbell, CrimDa, DoNotDelete, and more that I sadly can’t remember anymore.  From the shape and function of her cybernetics, her overall color scheme, her clothing, her hairstyle, her weapons, etc., every last detail was meticulously gone over until we arrived at the final design taking what we liked most from each of them.

At first, we had gotten Tale to draw out the first several pages, and even though they were finished, he unfortunately had to step out of the issue and we had Gilgalad take over, better known as Thomas Rothlisberger, who we were lucky to have on the team before he moved on to the IDW Sonic comics.  For the sake of consistency (lol), we unfortunately had to scrap Tale’s pages so he could redo those as well.

Holly’s sickness isn’t elaborated on in the actual story, but the gist is that she’s a snow leapord who was roboticized during the First Robotnik War.  But after the Bem deroboticized her while she was in the desert, her body became sick due to being stuck in the inhospitable environment, which is an example of how misplaced many of the former Robians were being sent far out of their natural habitats, and losing the protection of their robot bodies was actually a detriment.

A Sonic fan with a good eye for detail may notice that the guard who takes over watching Bunnie after Scarlett is actually one of the unnamed members of Infinite’s Jackal Squad from the Sonic Forces prequel comic.  Since this cameo may or may not go anywhere in regards to Infinite in ASO, we opted against using Infinite himself since he’s too important of a character to pass off as a mere cameo.  If you want this plot thread to be expanded upon, let us know!

Since this is where we introduce Holly and her relationship with Scarlett, it’s as good a time as any to discuss the process of their creation.  With Scarlett, we wanted to introduce a character who would serve as a foil to Bunnie, another person struggling due to their bedridden lover, but with diametrically-opposed views regarding cybernetics.  Her design was actually taken from a random Sand Blaster who appeared in a single panel of StH #218, who we decided to turn into a full-fledged character.  Although her species was unknown during her single appearance, we decided to make her a fennec fox.  On the other hand, Holly was an entirely new design that we came up with for the story.  The LGBT aspect of their relationship was actually the idea of my editor for the issue, The Shadow Imperator.  I stated in the interview after the issue that I was the one who came up with their names, but that’s not the whole truth.  There was a whole team effort dedicated to naming the two of them, before I suggested Scarlett since there was an abandoned plot point about how Bunnie’s true name was at one point planned to be Scarlett O’Hare.  Our Scarlett’s full name is Scarlett O’Fenn, with ShadImp being the one to suggest adding the last name as well.  But since her last name didn’t come up in the story, I apologize for forgetting to mention it.  Holly was also one of several names I came up with, which was agreed on due to the sort of “snowy” feel it has to it.

In my initial draft for Scarlett and Holly’s conversation, I wrote Holly as being more openly pessimistic about her condition, outright stating that Scarlett would be better off if she was gone.  But since that seemed rather inconsiderate to Scarlett’s feelings, ShadImp suggested that I tone it down a little and have her only mention feeling like a burden.  He was also the one to suggest that I make sure their romantic relationship is mentioned as explicitly as possible, so there would be no room for ambiguity that might lessen the impact of their sexual orientation.

Scarlett taking off her hat here wasn’t actually in the script I wrote, but it was a smart move by Gilgalad, showing her letting her guard down around the one person she can afford to do so with.  To put it simply, Scarlett offers Holly physical support while Holly offers Scarlett emotional support, so neither one is one-sidedly supporting the other.  This scene also demonstrates that even though Scarlett is easily the most level-headed and compassionate Sand Blaster we’ve seen so far, some of the old bigotries and prejudice against cyborgs and robots that Jack instilled into her still remain.

Gilgalad had actually already penciled out the next couple pages, but since he wasn’t able to stick around for the full story, we decided that that the end of Scarlett and Holly’s scene was a good cutoff point for the drastic shift in art style.  Red Rabbit is an amazing artist with a style very similar to Patrick Spaziante, but it is still a jarring shift compared to most other artists on the project.  I had also originally written Bunnie mentioning not being very good at undercover missions, but when ShadImp brought up her successful operation tricking Battle Lord Kukku I changed the script to have her mention that instead.

At first, I was planning for the poker scene to have the characters holding cards that reflected their position in the conversation, such as holding a winning hand when they have the upper hand in the argument.  But since I have absolutely no knowledge or experience with poker, that idea ultimately didn’t come through in the final story.  This scene also serves to flesh out the Sand Blasters and show that none of them are blindly loyal to Jack.  Tex obviously has his own agenda, Avery just goes along with whatever’s the least troublesome, Shift wants to get his hands on new technology, and Jolt does genuinely want the city to open up to the rest of the world.

You may have noticed that instead of rocket feet like her old design, Bunnie now flies with a removable jet pack on her back.  If you’re wondering how that wouldn’t burn her tail off, it was specifically designed so that the fire trails would shoot aiming away from her tail.

Originally, during the car chase sequence Bunnie’s jet pack was just written to malfunction for no real reason.  But eventually, I decided to give it a more interesting explanation by adding in hints that Shift may have intentionally sabotaged it to trip up Bunnie, only to reveal that he was actually trying to fix it and he didn’t betray her after all.  This was also the portion of the story where Ink Pants took over for pencils, and then Lav after him.  Even though they’re all fine artists in their own right, hopefully this will be the last time that we need to include so many drastic changes in art style to illustrate a single story.

We almost had one more shift in art style, with @gendeerfluid​ penciling the last page.  In the end, Lav managed to finish that one as well, giving us a massive cliffhanger both figuratively and literally in the form of Jun Kun, the Iron King.

That’s about it for this one, folks!  Thanks for sticking with us all this time, and look forward to the conclusion of this story next issue.  Until then, keep on juicin’!

#archie sonic online #sonic universe online #issue 52 #behind the scenes #bunnie rabbot #bunnie d'coolette #scarlett o'fenn #holly #sand blast city #jack rabbit #avery #tex #shift e wolf #jolt the roadrunner #lgbt #poker #escape #jun kun

[gashface]

SHINE CONTESTANTS

Name: Mandy

Location: Futuristic San Myshuno

Age: 21

Pronouns: She/They

Story: So Mandy is a heavily cyber-augmented girl studying Robotics at the University in a cyberpunk reimagine of the Sims world. In the world she lives in, cyber modification is really common for everyone. She has glowing eyes and while she's usually depicted with a human skin tone she is entirely blue metal underneath. Her fave color is blue so she always has blue on her in some regard. She has albinism. She has a really wacky fashion style that usually consists of oddly matched silhouettes. She's really smart, hence robotics, but has the tenancy to speak without thinking. She LOVES singing and is working on a side music career as she studies, but is struggling to balance her newfound music popularity with her studies.

Created by: @skaterboisims

Name: Parker Winston

Location: Seattle

Age: 25

Pronouns: He/They

Story: My sim is Parker. He's genderfluid but prefers he/him and sometimes they/them. He grew up in a small, very religious town where being queer and loud weren't acceptable things. Being both, he decided to head for Seattle when he was old enough. He's an artist and has dabbled in anything creative he can get his hands on, from drag to tattooing to graffiti, he's done it all. Self-expression is the most important thing in the world to him and he shows that in his style, his art, and his hair dye. And though he likes to cling to his heavy grunge and emo styles, he's never met a color he didn't like or a pattern he wasn't willing to serve with all his heart.

"If I had to describe myself, it would be if like Barbie was in The Crow instead of Brandon Lee." - Parker

Created by: @morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy

Name: Dillion Carter

Location: Houston, TX

Age: 25

Pronouns: No specific pronouns but they refer to themselves as They/Them, She/Her and He/Him, occasionally.

Story: Dillion's story starts with a graffiti-riddled alleyway. Being abandoned by well-known junkies, a screaming baby was found by the police and then placed into foster care. It was not easy for the first decade of their life. A lot of blood, betrayals, and fistfights were not lost. Eight homes returning her that used to be intrigued. No one had really wanted a child that would barely talk, but also not know when to give up and back down. Until one day, the Carter Family had taken them in as a preteen and had not returned them. It's been history ever since. The adopted family was black and Dillion was as pale as could be, but the whispers did not deter them from growing even closer and loving each other. Dillion's quiet yet useful, bold, and confident demeanour has landed them two jobs: a mechanic and underground boxer by day, and recommended by their sisters in the fashion industry— a model by night. It is those same sisters that had shown them the "Shine" modelling competition and convinced them that it was good exposure. That Dillion was worth so much more than what they had. Dillion responded with a smirk, a shrug, and a "Why not?" They'll just let their body speak for itself.

Created by: @mewo-ita

Name: Rin Miura

Location: Born in Mt. Komorebi but currently living in San Myshuno

Age: 19

Pronouns: She / Her

Story: rin's a college student, an aspiring fashion designer, but most importantly - a loser!! <3 She dreams of creating fashionable pieces for everyone in the world, but gets too caught up in the details, and gets way too carried away .. so she mostly just makes (insane-looking) clothes for herself. she thoroughly documents the entire creation process online; her other hobbies include doll collecting drawing pet training making music cooking baking building furniture and honestly just whatever the hell comes to her mind!!! shes very very happy-go-lucky, sweet but a bit airheaded and also VERY loud :3

Created by: @glittermutt

Name: Eli Sims

Location: Willow Creek

Age: 24

Pronouns: She/her

Story: Elizabeth Gil is the daughter of a famous fashion designer and a famous model, so she's known everything about the industry since she was very little. She always wanted to be a model like her mom and she would watch her during photoshoots and fashion shows. When her parents noticed her interest in the industry to started preparing her for her debut in it. Her first runway gig was at 15 years old for her father's spring couture show. She kept working under him for the next 3 years, barely catching a break, until she turned 18 and immediately left home and her career with her father's brand. She lost contact with her parents and nothing's been heard from her since then. In other news, the latest high-end model Eli Sims, known for her outstanding white hair, is opening the Chanel show at New York fashion week this evening, we wish her the best of luck!

A/N: yeah so basically my sim is a nepo baby that left her family,, changed her appearance and got back in the game all on her own. Her parents don't know she's modelling again, and every time her father has tried to get her on one of his shows she's declined, she does not wanna see them again bc of the awful way they treated her

Created by: @simsinfinitylt

Name: Ember Arendse

Location: San Myshuno

Age: 23

Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs

Story: Growing up in San Myshuno with a very artistically inclined and supportive family, Ember has always taken to all things creative. Lead singer and guitarist of ‘The Gutter Rats’, they always found comfort in expressing themselves in front of an audience, so though their area of expertise lies in freelance photography; They have been curious as to what it would be like to be in front of the camera.

Created by: @wolfrynn313

Name: Charline Morel

Location: Brindleton Bay

Age: 21

Pronouns: She/Her

Story: Charline "Charlie" Morel was born as the first of two daughters to an overly strict wealthy family. The Morels were a family of musicians, and every child born to the family was expected to be a musician, and those in the direct line were expected to inherit the family instrument manufacturing business (or whatever it was, Charlie really couldn't care less). Unfortunately, Charlie did not inherit her family's ear for music - she knew she wanted to be a creative soul, but honestly, she wasn't very good at any of it. Her parents forced her to take singing lessons because it was the only thing musical she was any good at, but she always wanted to do something else. She didn't know what that was until she graduated from high school - she wanted to model. She had tried taking pictures once, but quickly she realized she preferred being in front of the camera instead. So she packed up her belongings and moved out - not terribly far away, but out of her parents' clutches. Charlie is a stubborn, self-assured girl who is determined to prove herself and make a name in something other than music. Once she gets an idea in her head, she is determined to see it through to its finish - or crash and burn trying. (Even if her inner perfectionist cries out in terror at the prospect.)

Created by: @cyazurai

Name: Nicky Soufan

Location: San-Myshuno

Age: 19

Pronouns: she/her

Story: Since childhood, Nicky dreamed of becoming a model. The parents were not happy about this, because they thought that she would become a doctor like them, but they could not interfere with their daughter's desire and tried to help her in any way they could. At the age of 13, they sent her to a modelling school, where the girl stayed for 4 years. Not having received the proper result, the parents took Nicky out of there. She was in despair and did not know what to do now, because the modeling school took away from her all the desire to go to her dream. One day, Nika's friend, a photographer, invited her to his shooting to work on his hand. After this photo shoot, the girl again had a burning desire to become a model.

Created by: @rosamadchen

Name: Willow Young

Location: Willow Creek

Age: 30

Pronouns: she/her

Story: Willow is a new coming Simstuber. She is a mother of one & married to Irving Young. She loves to make art and travel and make woodwork. Willow is a very cheerful woman and she also loves taking photos. As friendly as she seems, she doesn't trust others easily. Willow hopes to become popular and rich. Willow always had an interest in modelling since she read magazines as a child.

Created by: @ohgeezhaddie

Name: Dawn Pepper

Location: StrangerVille

Age: 23

Pronouns: She/They

Story: Dawn is you typical 23 trying to branch out of her comfort zone. Her bold looks usually come from her bold and bizarre surroundings where she grew up. However as he daily part-time job in retail has completely bored her she finally wants to leave her comfort zone, meet new people, and explore new places!

Created by: @bigppton-jpeg

Name: Babylon Fleur Beppu.

Location: Glimmerbrook but was raised in Windenburg.

Age: 18

Pronouns: She/They

Story: Babylon is currently eighteen years old and was born on June 28, making her a Cancerian. Although she isn't aware, she is a fairy born of two ordinary townies. In my Sims Au, fairies are extinct and have been so for many years. She was born in Glimmberbrook but was raised in Windenburg.

Created by: @everythingaestheticlly

Name: Genie Fiorelli

Location: NO INFO PROVIDED

Age: NO INFO PROVIDED

Pronouns: She/Her

Story: NO INFO PROVIDED

Created by: @plumbobcrumble

Name: Su-Yen

Location: Korea

Age: 19

Pronouns: She/Her

Story: Su-yen is the youngest in a family full of models and actors. But Su-yen decided she wanted something else and tried to be a dancer. But now that she is a bit older she decided to follow in her mother's and older siblings' footsteps and do some modelling. The problem? Su-yen is reckless to the extreme. She is constantly injured from skating on trying to do stunts. She is often sporting bandages.

Created by: @dododoesstuffs

THANK YOU, EVERYONE, WHO ENTERED!

A FOLLOW-UP POST IS BEING SENT WITH FIRST WEEKS PROMPT!~

#Shine contestants #ts4 #sims 4 #SHINE #competition #HAVE TO POST IN GROUPS AS TUMBLR WONT LET ME PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER #sims 4 competition #sims4 #TS4 #sims4competition

[daddy-eggman]

Been thinking of Eggman x The Conductor a lot I need those old men to fuck so bad lol. Sorry to the old guy's wife or whatever but Eggman is gonna get some. The way the Mirage Express robot's hand was petting the Conductor while he was all tied up inspired me especially 👀

Eggman tunes in with his camera to be met with the pleasant surprise of the robot feeling the old man up in interesting places. Though the truth is that he may have secretly designed the train this way intentionally and intended for this to happen. He enjoys watching so much that he needs to get in there and experience him for himself.

Eggman orders the train to deliver The Conductor to him and enters to see him looking so cute and nervous as the wires change position to expose more of his body, as well as move between his legs to rub his bulge and squeeze his butt. Eggman is very pleased with the sight and mockingly coos at him for being a poor helpless thing but doesn't get him down from there.

He says it gets hot in this small cart so he could do with losing his big coat. He clicks his fingers and the robot unbuttons the Conductor's coat and all he can do is watch. It grabs hold of the waist of his pants and starts to pull them down too, revealing a shameful semi in his underwear from the tightness of his restraints and how it feels him up.

Eggman's eyes wander and he licks his lips as he admires his small but pudgy titties, cute soft fuzzy tummy, the imprint of his girthy cock in his briefs, and his round bubble butt that looks close to spilling out of them. The Conductor gulps nervously because he hasn't had anyone check him out like this and look at him with such desire in a long time.

When he realizes something is up he tells him he's married but Eggman is just like "aww how cute~ well too bad she's not here to stop or watch us, ey?", stroking his chin and putting his finger to his lips to hush him and silence his "but-". He tells him to relax and that it's just the two of them and the Mirage Express and nobody else has to know about this, it's just a bit of fun

The Conductor is speechless and when he doesn't object, Eggman leans in and kisses him on the lips and his cheeks burn bright red. He licks and sucks his neck and makes him shiver and lets his big hands roam over his bound body, squeezing his butt and rubbing his bulge through his pants. The Conductor gasps in surprise but doesn't tell him to stop.

He also can't resist licking and sucking his tits, they're smaller than his and cute and pudgy and perky that way. Eggman feeling him up and kissing him along with the pressure of the robot's wires still restraining and slithering around sensitive places while he's helplessly trapped has him very worked up and aroused with confusing conflicting feelings.

It's clear he's trying not to enjoy it when sweating with his face flushed and he's trying to squirm and writhe but the powerful wires hold him back. He tries to swallow his noises too but Eggman catches a small soft moan slipping past his lips when he kisses him again. He smirks and teases him for his cute hesitance and struggle in the restraints.

He gets Eggman excited to the point of overheating in his multiple layers, so he ditches his clothes too. The Conductor closes his eyes as if he doesn't want to see but opens them to find himself curious and feeling rather strange at the sight of his hairy chest, fat jiggly titties, and big soft fuzzy belly with a peek of a happy trail above his undies.

Eggman is clearly very excited with his big hard on stretching his red briefs with his logo on them. He presses it against the old dog's and grinds into it while going in for more kisses and feeling him up, this time with their soft tits, bellies, and bulges pressed against each other's. It feels so naughty and forbidden but it makes it even more exciting.

Eggman kisses him again even more passionately, deeper and sloppier and grinds against him harder, it gets messy with their sticky precum wetting their undies and drool connecting them by the lips. Eggman says "this feels so good, doesn't it?" and can tell he feels the same by how hard his cock is too as he's clearly fully erect now.

Eggman is too eager to wait any more and pulls his briefs down. He's correct, it's not as long as his but is thick and juicy as he imagined and it makes his own throb in excitement. He rubs it tenderly between his finger and thumb and it drips with precum. He cheekily smirks and says "Oh you really like me, don't you? You can't hide it from me~"

The Conductor is confused because he can hardly comprehend having these strange feelings for a man at all, let alone man like him. Eggman suddenly pulls away and says "alright I won't tease you any longer, I should give you something for being such a good boy for me" and makes the Conductor wonder what he's going to do next. Maybe finally free him?

But of course he's not done with him yet. Instead he turns around and starts shaking his big fat ass, patting it and asking if he wants some of this. He pulls his briefs down and moons him and precum drips onto the floor because he loves showing off. The Conductor never would've expected him to be a dirty old slut but he can't say he hates the sight.

He has the Conductor lowered to the floor at last and lay down on his back but he still doesn't free him. He still doesn't answer Eggman's questions verbally but he's embarrassed by how eagerly his hard throbbing cock answers for him as it twitches at the sight of his ass and more precum trickles out. Eggman teases him for how it's clearly aching for him.

He stands over him and says he looks so cute as he jerks himself off over his body and a few more drops of precum hit the Conductor's furry belly. They're so sticky and messy already and they've hardly gotten started! Eggman finally gets down and straddles him, spreads his ass cheeks apart and positions himself to push his tip into his hole.

Eggman is already so thrilled by the feeling of his fat cock sinking into his ass, it's so thick that he feels it stretching his hole wider and sighs happily. He easily takes his entire length in quickly with the first few pushes and drops down onto it as he gets moving. Eggman moans at how full he feels and the firm pressure it so easily has on his prostate.

The Conductor tries to avert his gaze but the robot hand moves his face to make him face Eggman at all times as he tells him not to be shy. He takes him by surprise by being so pervy and dirty and dominant as he rides him while the robot holds him in place for him. He teases him by saying that he knows he wants a piece of this fat ass, he can admit it

He still won't say it but as Eggman starts to go faster, it becomes obvious as his moans start getting harder to hide. Eggman keeps teasing by asking if his wife would ever ride him this good and asks if he's the first man that's ever taken his cock and he's delighted to learn he is when he nods. Not only that, he's never been inside an ass at all.

Learning that he's the first turns Eggman on even more and he really wants to show him what he's been missing as he rides him harder and faster. The Conductor is overwhelmed by how deep inside his ass he is and how his hole feels so tight when sucking in his thick cock and Eggman loves how he fills him up and hits the spot every time.

Eggman then really goes for it and fucks himself on his big thick cock as hard and fast as he can. He cries out that it feels amazing, his eyes roll back and he sticks his tongue out and drools over him. His hard cock slaps his soft belly and feels good too, he rides him relentlessly and feels like such a dirty slut. It gets them moaning loudly together.

The Conductor has no choice but to look up at the handsome big hairy bear on top of him and can't deny that he's attractive when seeing him in this new light. The feeling of his fat jiggly ass bouncing on his cock, being so deep inside him, and the sound of it slapping against him feels so dirty but so good when he rides him like he rides the train lol

The Conductor finally blows and groans deeply as he pumps a big thick load in his ass. Eggman bets it's the first time he's been able cum like that in a while by how overwhelmed and stunned he is. Feeling him cum deep inside him and thinking about how his ass is the first he's ever filled makes him cum too, so hard and shoots so far it lands on his face.

He giggles and apologizes for making the first time a man cums on him so messy and licks it off while kissing him. He asks how it feels to cum inside a man and have one make him cum and if he liked it. The Conductor is still too shy to answer but is surprised to find he enjoyed it with how hard he came and learns something new about himself.

------------------

And Eggman doesn't leave it at that because he's got it bad for him after that. He loves how forbidden and scandalous it feels, he finds him really handsome and loves his cock and he has more plans with him. He makes it part of the deal of working in a train built by him. He likes to come and visit him to "check on things" and takes his chance.

He pretends to care about how things have been going there but gradually gets closer and more touchy, putting his arm around him and pulling him in closer while they talk. When they sit down together, it doesn't take Eggman long to get down on his hands and knees on the floor and crawl up to him with a mischievous glint in his eye.

He says his missed him as he puts his hand on his thigh and traces it up to his cock to unzip his pants and starts feeling his cock through his undies. He buries his face into it and sniffs and says "hey it's a package delivery for me ;)" in the cargo car and the Conductor can't react in disappointment at his joke and only from pleasure of how good it feels

He enjoys nuzzling into his balls, licking, sucking, and kissing his cock, and feeling him get hard in his mouth. This clearly isn't the first he's ever taken in his mouth but this is the first time the Conductor has ever been in a man's mouth. He gives him the best as he kisses and sucks and slurps and slobbers on his cock and balls so passionately

He asks him if he's giving him the best he's ever had and knows it's true, he has the large tongue, deep wet mouth and tongue, and skill to put it to good use. And when he gives him that look of pride and cheekiness while licking and swallowing his cum and getting it all over his face, he loves how blushy he gets. He knows how to make him weak

It also escalates to him bending him over the dashboard and fucking him too, teasing him and saying "don't you love cock?" and pounding his cute fat fuzzy butt so hard. He can't help but stick his tongue out and pant and wags his tail and he grabs hold of it to pull him against him harder and fuck him deeper and he loves how he moans and whines

His mind goes blank with pleasure and he breaks and Eggman keeps teasing him for how gay he is to be loving this so much and he can't deny by how hard his cock is, how intense his orgasm is, and how immense his enjoyment is. And he has to embrace it as the truth that Eggman helped him find by making him fall in love with his cock and ass.

He bets that he hasn't felt this good in a long time. And it's true, he hadn't felt such a spark like this and experienced pleasure of this intensity for a while and it's getting harder to pretend that he doesn't have a thing for him every time he accidentally melts into his kisses or pushes against him harder and desperately to silently plead for more

And he record all of it to make sure he has the evidence and will enjoy watching it back later hehe

Eggman knows just how to get people falling hard for him and constantly long for more even if they don't want to admit it verbally, he knows how they think about him, discover things about themselves and embrace it and become addicted because of him and he loves taking great pride in it and encouraging them to be naughty with him 💜

#modern #eggman x conductor #imagines #ns4w

[insanityrat]

BLOOD!!!!!

ok so i drew this a while ago but thought it was cringe so didn’t post it for a while. Don’t really care now. Have a hypothetical V3 but they’re also Senketsu from Kill la kill. closer up doodles and more rambling under the cut.

I kinda struggled to figure out how i wanted to make this fusion look at first. I wanted them to look like another V robot while also looking distinct from the other two. I also wanted the arm to reference Ryuko’s scissor blade. I honestly probably could’ve made a better design than this, but i think its fine for now. I kinda wanna write lore for this version of senketsu but i have no idea where to start lmao. I’d like to imagine they weren’t made with clothes, but instead found them in hell. ok enough talk have funny drawrings.

this was actually really fun to draw. Might doodle them again in the future idk.

#ultrakill #kill la kill #crossover #senketsu my beloved

[spaciebabie]

*Points* YOU! YES YOU! Tell me about your ocs please. Any oc. The oc you can never design right, or the oc that won't stop changing, Any. Just tell me about your ocs!

GRRRRRRRARAGRGARGA

ANGIE MY BELOVED

this guy.....i have given him the most amount of trauma At The Start. he's already gone (and is still going thru shit) and b/c he's already had it tough he's gonna end up being the wisest person by the end of the story most likely (in his own way)

fuckin this guy's a tech nerd and if i knew more abt computers n junk i would be more specific but thats rlly. all i can say. he makes funny programs, he can code, he makes robots, aaalll that shit!!

fun fact: angie is a relatively new character that ive created for two! he (along w/ness) were not in the original story, but.....kat had like....NO friends and w/all the shit she was gonna go thru she really needed them lol. it also didn't make sense w/her character ta have her have no friends?? at that point in time i was revamping kat's personality cuz i realized she was too much Like Me and I didn't wanna create a self insert lol 😅

ANYWAYS- angie's got the worst of life w/in the last 2ish years, dead dad, depression caused from dead dad, struggling family b/c of the sudden loss of income (at this point in the story his family is more stable, but that's the reason he originally started working at kat's parent's cafe), anger issues caused by depression from dead dad, and on toppa all that, he's in honors classes!! man's has got it tough!!

he's also the eldest sibling in his houshold n has got 5 siblings!! (here's a wip of them i never finished. this would've been his fam 2 yrs ago)

him n the sister he's smirking at are at eachother's throats a lot lol. she's sorta similar ta ness but a lot more blunt. they shoulder the burden of being the eldest, sort of a team but not really? angie takes the brunt of the burden. eldest siblings (me) understand.

he's got ta deal w/being held ta such a high standard n he's constantly under pressure ta succeed, ta do great ta make his family proud, n now that his dad is dead he feels like he owes it ta him ta do well by him.

beyond the sad stuff he had a major caffine addiction that his mother put a stop ta. he had a habit of procrastinating and then pulling coffee fueled all nighters, except now that he cant have coffee anymore he supplements it w/soda (his mother will NOT allow energy drinks he sneaks some anyways tho. ((his mother is not happy abt him drinking sodie)))

he's a meme king and irl shitposter and a very Big Boi (6ft!) he's got a new york accent as well!

fun fact numero dos: angie is one of the several characters who i am completely unsure of their orientation. i feel like he could be the queerest person on the planet and yet also be the straightest most cis-dude ever. idk ik he likes girls thats the most ive come up w/so far.

he loves his friends so much dude!! they've helped him thru so much and he's done so much dumb shit w/them (like The Bruisehouse, of which the trio of kat, angie, n ness is named after. they're still quite famous from what they did in elementary school). honestly he just wants ta relax. you can see that reflected in his clothing choices (yk besides being a sans kinnie n liking utdr) he's one of those kids in middle school who dresses in shorts n short sleeves no matter the weather n is like, "im not cold"

him n kat met first and were bffs b4 they met ness n she was added inta the group, so they're a bit closer in that aspect!

#spacie splains #hehe #oc: angel galaxio #two #the war organization #oc stuff #another fun fact: i gave angie depression b/c at the time i made him (i was 14) i was struggling w/depression myself #idk why i just....wanted ta give him a piece of myself? #a lot of my characters are like that they all have at least one trait that i do #anyways my Son #fucking idiot i love him #(well i mean he acts like an idiots but i think he's quite smart) #ough the bruisehouse crew....beloveds #i have Too Many Ocs #notice: im speaking abt ocs that have already been introduced inta two b/c a lot of the ocs i havent shown are Lore Filled #okay im goin ta bed #thank you for your ask anon~ #idk why its so much easier ta infodump in a public space #i dont feel bad abt dumping abt them at all here its mostly when i get the urge ta discuss spoilers (which i wont do publicly obvi) #n i just start convulsing cuz im keeping it inside #anyways if you read this far down!! im!! giving you a cookie :3 🍪🍪🍪🍪 #how did you read all this? #zamn!!

[celestetheseaunicorn]

Rosa Martín character sheet Wild kratts self insert/oc

She is a brunette but dyed her hair pink after playing the game Celeste ( ;D ) and since she related to Madeline’s determination and struggles.

She worked as a fashion illustrator (this was inspired by the fashion illustration class I took last year) for Donita after showing Donita some illustrations she had made from Donita’s clothing and other designs based on them…but once Rosa realized the animals on the fashion clothing Donita was talking about, that she had been illustrating and designing during her job that she had been in for some months, were not plastic or robots but were actually alive she secretly worked against Donita to release the animals, releasing them with her secret hero identity “Lady Scarlett bird” (with a costume looking like a mix of a detective’s trench coat and a hero costume with a design based on the lovebird). She is still working with Donita as a fashion designer and photographer but now it is also to gather information and save the creatures as her secret hero identity.

However, one day, she met the wild kratts. She had been fighting again with Donita as she always does while in her Scarlett bird persona but she realized it was getting more and more difficult with Donita’s pose beams that Donita had gotten from Zach as a gift after the Villain seminar to try to salvage his image…after he had vomited the shrimps in front of her. Little did Scarlett Bird know that just when Donita was about to unmask her, the wild kratt were there to save the day but were surprised to see a new face, and someone dressed like a superhero at that. They saved the creatures and released the hero. Scarlett wouldn’t reveal her secret identity but she was grateful and told them everything. She then showed them the geckos she had hid in her pockets that she had grabbed from Donita and that Scarlett was going to release back into the wild.

That, combined with Scarlett being caught in a posebeam and struggling to get out convinced them that she was on their side. They tried to get her to join them but she refused. She liked staying undercover since she would be able to save more creatures and also since photography and art were her true passions alongside protecting creatures.

The wild kratt crew understood but before she left Aviva gave Rosa something that would make being Scarlett easier. She got a new suit of a similar design to the original but now the wings could glide and she had special boots that let her dash short distances to glide fast, like Madeline from Celeste, and that let her climb on many surfaces like a lovebird could. Rosa was overjoyed and hugged Aviva. Then she quickly left back to Donita’s Jet.

(The “dash” power looks kind of like this)

She sneaked into the window leading into her room and hid her new upgraded costume at the back of a Messy drawer that she had filled full of books and work supplies which would make it a nightmare for anyone except her to find anything in (kind of like Martin lol). She checked the door which was still locked (she made up a lie about her needing it locked to keep her concentration up and keep her creative flow going when actually it was so she could keep her secret identity) and she pretended to have always been diligent at work on her new designs. Later, Rosa came out of her room/office pretending to be really stressed out from “Whatever those crazy crashing sounds were”. She just saw Donita on her fancy pink couch grumbling over Kratt brothers and a Scarlett Bird, but she just kept walking since she was just a humble, small town, fashion designer and photographer ;) and none of that had anything to do with her ;) ;) She went to the airplane’s kitchen to make some dinner for herself and called it a night.

I was not expecting this to become a mini fanfic but i’m happy :) . I’m going to be making her character design later in both Rosa Martín form and Scarlett form. I have so many ideas for her design, I can’t wait :D !!

#wild kratts #celeste #self insert #oc stuff #original character #donita donata #zach varmitech mention #chris kratt #martin kratt #wk aviva #super heroes #Rosa Martín #Lady Scarlett Bird #Scarlett Bird

[nanamunath]

No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

Vampire!Eddie x Fem!Reader

Warnings: talks of grief and loss of a loved one, mentions of death, stranger things season 4 spoilers duh, the reader has a panic attack and experiences something similar to derealization, mentions of scars, slight angst.

A/N: Hiii, It's been so so long since I've written anything for fandom. I wanted to give it a try, i didn't have anyone proofread this so... Yeah, let's just jump straight to it.

🖤

As i stared into the eyes of the boy i once dreamed of building a life with from across the vast green of the woods surrounding us, i felt cold to my bones, like the coldest breeze had blew right through me, icing me from the inside out. I couldn't move, i couldn't speak, i felt as if my heart was an icy stone and it had dropped to the bottom of my stomach.

Fear.

I never thought the day would come when i would be something other than excited to see that face, that i would be wanting to turn heel and run away from him instead of into his arms so i could get lost within his scent, feel the strands and curls of his hair grace my cheeks and tickle my nose, feel the planes and reliefs of his chest under the fabric of those old faded band tshirts he always opted to wear outside school, on the days he was not wearing his Hellfire club t-shirt. Always so proud of showing it off and then becoming shy and bashful when somebody asked who designed the logo cause it was all his idea and he had sketched it over and over despite not being the greatest at drawing until it came to be what is was.

Now as you stared into his once warm eyes, all you felt was terror. That's not him, that's not him. Your mind screamed at you.

Have you ever heard about the uncanny valley? Gosh, Eddie and i talked about this a couple summers ago, he saw it on a sciency magazine somewhere, something about robots or robotic parts that resembled too much the appearance of something organic and human caused a negative response in humans, whether that reaction be of disgust or fear or uneasyness... Rejection. He had wanted to implement that in his story telling, trying to figure out how to do it, how to paint a picture of something so seamlessly ordinary and human but that it actually wasn't, how to make the players fall for it until they didn't and have them get to that point of feeling uneasy even before he revealed the plot twist and the true nature of whatever it was that was in their presence.

Well, as i held his eyes, there was something in the back of my mind that warned me to not be fooled, whatever this was infront of me, standing in the middle of the woods behind the trailer park, with what looked to be dry leaves and caked mud and dirt covering his- it's hair, clothes and face, despite being an almost identical replica of that boy i adored and spent countless evenings with, it was not him.

Struggling to piece whatever it was that made me so uneasy, my eyes searched for something, anything, to help me understand what it was, why my body was reacting in such visceral ways to... A dream? An hallucination, maybe?

Cause there was no way that what i was seeing was part of reality, my reality at least. He was gone. He is gone. Present tense.

Dustin said it, he said, he saw him die. He died and Wayne and I mourned him, we didn't even have a body to bury, like many other families in Hawkins, we only had memories and broken hearts to go by.

Only left with drawers full of clothes from the ones we lost, boxes full of his music cassettes, his magazines and band posters, old notebooks filled with scribbled notes and countless ideas for his campaigns... Stuff that neither of us, two of the very few people who actually knew him, can part from, cause it's all that's left, the only thing that proved that he was there once. That he existed and that he made us happy, that he loved and was loved by someone.

That means that at the moment i must be dreaming... But this is different.

I've dreamt of him before, many times. I've dreamt of him returning to me, of all of these past months being just a bad dream, and I wake up and find I'm in Ms. O'Donnell's class and he's sitting next to me, with that far away look in his eyes he gets when he's lost in daydream land.

In those dreams i stare at him in awe and relief, glad that it was over now, that life will go on now, go on as it should. Sometimes in those dreams I'd cry, somehow nobody else in the class would notice or acknowledge it, he would turn to me with surprise and worry written in his eyes, always those damn expressive eyes of him, until something in him seems to click and he just smiles knowingly, like him and I are both in on the same secret, like he understands how much it tore me apart to see myself enduring life without him, and then he'll open up his arms and I'd get up from my seat and run into them. Ms. O'Donnell frozen mid sentence, the rest of the students unmoving, like a movie on pause. It's just him and I and i tell him that I miss him and he laughs.

I dream of that. That's what my dreams of him feel like.

Never have I felt this in a dream before, this dread. This visceral rejection towards him, is so strong it makes me wanna weep and scream, my heart and mind want to feel happy to have him here but my body is trying to run away, but why would I run away? It's Eddie! He's here now.

Right?

Or not... I start clicking the pieces together one by one. Coming to a slow realization of what is wrong with this image that is presented to me.

That's not mud in his white t-shirt... That looks a lot like when i split my chin during gym class, the blood trailed down my neck into the white uniform from my old school, before I moved to Hawkins. I didn't want to bother the teacher, so i went and sat on the bleachers, quietly, using a couple napkins i had on my bag to press down on the cut till it stopped bleeding. My mom freaked out when she saw the dry blood, it had dried and got this copperish brown tone against the white of the tshirt.

Much like the one covering his own now.

His skin looked unusually pale and sickly. His eyes... Those eyes, once brown and warm and full of life, they were cold and dead, color a deep, all consuming jet black and they were set on me as if i was...

Prey. I am prey.

That's what's yelling at me to run, my own instincts, that long forgotten something in me, that those who were in this earth way before us, needed in order to survive in the wild with beast and predators a lot bigger and stronger roaming around. A fight or flight response, my monkey brain deemed that this was a fight i was meant to loose, so i needed to flee the scene.

I can't die, i need to be there for the little ones.

Help Dustin rebuild the Hellfire club from scratch after this hateful town took it and, just like they try to do with everything good, destroyed it. He can't do it on his own, i was going to help him, eventually we'll clean Eddie's name, his legacy.

We'll take care of those lost little sheep, he promised him and I am going to make sure nobody got in the way of him fulfilling that promise he made to the boy that was my best friend, my first love.

So i take a slow deep breath and i turn around- with utter horror I realize my feet are glued to the floor before I can even take the first step, my breathing is superficial, chest moving up and down rapidly but i feel as if I'm suffocating. My heart beating so fast I'm sure it's going to explode in my chest, the blood rushing through my body so loud i fear I'm going to go deaf.

And then he- it speaks. With his voice.

"You wound me darling... I thought you would have missed me."

I can't speak. I can't move. I have my back turned on it and i can't do anything. This is surely the end of me... I close my eyes and try to will myself to wake up. Wake up, wake up, wake up.

"Darling... Open your eyes" he says, tone not quite scolding me, i can't help but obey it's command, despite not wanting to.

The sight that greets me is one of a swirling black pool, devoid of light, devoid of warmth. I immediately feel something within myself change, a voice inside of me whispers, tells me that surrendering it's easier, just do what you are supposed to do. Roll over, expose your neck in submission, bare your throat for it to feed and maybe it will take pity on you.

It's how it's supposed to be, it's what will keep the balance in this fragile ecosystem. Whatever this is... Is an apex predator and i've fallen right into it's claws. The more i struggle to break free, the more painful it will be. Just-

"Stop" Eddie's voice speaks again and it's like I'm suddenly out of a trance. Those eyes are not staring straight at me but looking away now. "Don't- just don't do that, please" the voice is almost pleading, he sounds restrained, talking through gritted teeth and it's like a spell has been broken, the air around me suddenly doesn't feel as oppressive anymore.

"I... I'm not doing anything" i manage to whisper, voice shaky, body still thrumming with adrenaline.

"No, i know, i know that" he says, frown deepening, shaking his head as if trying to put his thoughts together. "I don't know how to not do it. I'm- I'm still getting used to this, the superpowers thing, I'm sorry"

I don't say anything. If this is a dream it's the weirdest i ever had. I still can't move a single muscle in my body and i can feel my legs start to tingle and cramp from being standing in place, unnaturally still for so long.

"I just wanted to see you" His voice cracks a little bit and when he looks at me again the tears catching in his waterline resemble my own that are rapidly building, whether it's because of the fact that i never thought I'd hear his voice again or it's in response to the adrenaline I'm feeling, it's hard to tell. "I missed you so much"

"You were the one who left" i croak out. This is by far the cruelest dream my mind has come up with, this is not a dream, this is an absolute nightmare and I'm growing fed up with it. "And now... Now you only come back in dreams."

"What... No, darling. I'm- I'm right here." He says. "I'm sorry i was gone for so long but I promise you, I will explain it to you, i just... Need time to put myself together again. Cause I've changed, something happened to me, i-"

"You died... You're dead Eddie, this is- I'm gonna wake up and that won't ever change, it will still be the same as it has been for the past months, I'm gonna wake up and try to live a life without you." I choke on my own sobs that threaten to rip from my throat. "this is so unfair. Why is my mind doing this to me now? dreams are supposed to be good, are supposed to be painless."

I flinch when cold hands land on my wet cheeks, he's freezing as he cups my face in his hands and looks at me with so much pain.

I'm in shock at how real this dream feels, i start to wonder when exactly on the journey from the trailer park to Hawkins high school i fell into this strange state of sleep, i wonder if I even left Wayne's trailer at all, maybe I'm late to the meeting with Dustin and the rest of the Hellfire club... If they even showed up at all, maybe it's just Dustin and Mike sitting there, waiting for me. I should wake up now, go to them. Wake up, wake up, wake up.

His voice breaks me away from my thoughts "My darling... I'm so sorry. I promise you I will explain everything" for a moment this conjuration from my mind gives me that look, that look that only Eddie would give me, nobody else ever looked at me like that, i didn't think i was even capable of conjuring such look with just my memories. "This is not a dream, I'm really here"

And just like before i can't help but believe him, despite how wrong everything feels, the dread I felt at the start is back with full force at the realization that this isn't something my head is making up, this is happening, the reality sinks in and my head feels foggy, suddenly i can't tell what's real and what's not, or who i am, my body is both there and not quite there and i can't help but wince as i start feeling the tip of my fingers go numb, nothing is making sense anymore.

I can tell I'm falling to my knees but at the same time the feeling of the humid grass under my knees doesn't fully register on my brain, like I'm just an invisible witness, like I'm not in control of my body anymore and the rest of my body feels too heavy on it's own, without it's puppeteer... I just do nothing as gravity takes it down with it, eyelids doing the same thing, falling shut as consciousness slips away from me and I'm just floating around in the darkness, i can hear a voice calling me but it's very far away from me, i ignore it and decide that it's better to sleep this feeling away.

I wake up to the high pitched, insisting ringing of a phone, looking around I realize I'm at Wayne's trailer, more specifically in Eddie's room, it looks the same as it did when I left this afternoon, his stuff hasn't been moved since he disappeared but now some of my things also adorne his desk and the foot of his bed, i have been staying here often, just wanting to feel closer to him.

I hear the shower running and the phone keeps on ringing, getting up i walk into the small kitchen/living room space, not bothering to close the door of the bedroom after me knowing Wayne wouldn't be home soon, since finding out about Eddie's death he has been working more and more hours to the point he barely comes home.

"HELLO? Y/n what the hell?" Dustin's angry voice is what greets me from the other side of the line. "You stood us up today, we waited two whole hours for you, TWO."

"Dustin I'm so sorry, i-" What excuse could I come up with... How do I even explain the experience i had. Or i dreamed I had? "How did you know i was here?"

"When you didn't show up i got worried so i asked your parents." The honesty in his tone made my heart ache, this kid... "Listen, i know it's not easy, wherever you went Eddie was attached to your hip and viceversa, even before i knew the both of you, everyone knew what you had was something special. I'll give you all the time you need just... Don't shut us out, we cared for him too. It might be a bit easier if we go through this together, you don't have to suffer alone."

My chest was sinking with every word he said, this grief i had been carrying was too much for me to explain, so heavy it had me crumbling every time i got home from school or work, feeling every time i tried to put it into words that the only thing that was going to come out of my mouth was my bloody bruised heart barely beating now without one of the main reasons it was ever whole to begin with.

When i didn't say anything he continued "maybe it's too soon to be resuming Hellfire meetings, i just thought maybe it would be nice... To put something together, Gareth came around, he said he'll see if the rest of Corroded Coffin would be down for one last session before they left town and I'm not the most experienced DM but you know." I could hear a slight wince in his voice, it was rare to hear Dustin sound so unsure. "I thought it would be nice to put something together, for Eddie."

"I know kiddo... I know it's just- listen, I'm truly sorry for leaving you waiting, i promise not to do that again. And i think it's a wonderful idea, seriously. You can bet your ass I'll be there, I'll have to bring tissues with me but you know" We both laugh lightly. "I'll pick you up tomorrow and we can start planning the whole thing, how does that sound?"

"You better not leave me waiting this time, I'll let the rest of the guys know" After we both said our goodbyes i hang the phone with a sigh, finally registering the sound of the shower running that i heard earlier was no longer in the background.

Not knowing what to expect i looked over and saw the bathroom door was slightly ajar, steam streaming out from it. I grabbed a kitchen knife from one of the drawers nearby and slowly made my way towards Eddie's bedroom door that was now closed.

Grabbing the doorknob i twisted it open, knife held high, i bursted into the room and saw a figure standing in the middle of it that made me freeze in place.

Sweatpants hanging low from his hips, there was Eddie Munson in all of his disheveled glory, hair wet and tangled on top of his head, curls weighted down by the water still clinging to them and dripping down his shoulders and back but still looking magnificent in the way it fell messily around his face. My eyes drifted lower to his chest, there were the tattoos that he showed off proudly at any chance he had, i was there when he got some of them, holding his hand while he tried to pretend it didn't hurt at all.

New marks covered his torso too, these ones in the form of what looked to be recently healed wounds and scarred tissue. In different pink and lavender tones... Some seemed to have belonged to very deep wounds, other probably scratches or friction burns. My breath caught in my throat at he sight, my whole self trying to imagine and then emulate the pain that he must have gone through, cause whatever it was that he was going through i always felt it the same as if it was my own heart and body that was in pain, i could never bear to leave him alone not even in his suffering.

Feeling the knot start to form in my throat i dropped the knife to cover my mouth to stop sobs from escaping, it hadn't been a dream, he was here... What happened to him?

"Eddie, Jesus Christ, Eddie" i managed to let out as i ran into his arms, getting lost in him as i always used to do, he wasn't the biggest guy out there, but he was definitely broad and a couple inches taller than me, enough to always make me feel safe and tucked in his embrace. Tears falling freely into his naked chest, i sneaked my arms around his middle, holding on tightly, having missed what it felt like to have him so close to me every day for the last couple of months.

"There you are darling, oh dear. I was so scared when you passed out on me" he said into my head, wrapping his tattooed arms around me.

"You have no idea what it's been like, being without you." I couldn't stop crying, even when he was here with me, i couldn't quite stop myself from feeling he would be taken from me again.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." He replied, his bare skin felt cool to the touch. A pit started to grow inside of me as i realized that i couldn't feel anything under the cheek that was pressed against him, against his chest, nor could I hear the two toned beat of his heart inside of it. Paying attention i was able to tell that his chest wasn't even moving with breath intakes and exhales.

Untangling myself from him with a gasp, i looked at this alien Eddie, standing right in front of me, once again feeling something was not quite right. He immediately noticed it, he always read me like a book, pressed his lips tightly for a moment, the hurt in his eyes was evident as he slowly raised his hands up trying to appease me.

"Please don't be scared of me, i would never do anything to hurt you, y/n" He said. "I know this is fucking crazy, i know how it looks like... I get accused of brutally murdering a girl in this trailer and then i go into running and then a fucking earthquake destroys the bloody town and now I'm back and I'm... Like this. I don't even know where to start or how to explain everything that happened, i don't even know how much Dustin told you about it, i asked him to keep you out of it to protect you-"

"Wait, Dustin... Dustin knew you were alive all this time?"

"No! No! He doesn't know. He thinks I'm dead... Oh well, I'm sure i died. But i came back and I'm different now and i was so fucking terrified of coming back like this so i hid and I was so fucking thirsty, i- i didn't know if it was safe for you to be around me so i didn't come back immediately, but i wanted to, Jesus y/n, it was all i wanted, all i could think of." He was pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair, finger and rings getting tangled in it. "You have to believe me that i never wanted to leave you alone, i swear. I was so scared too and in so much pain and I knew that you would make it better, you would be there for me but i couldn't risk hurting you, i can't barely control this... This powers i have now. Like earlier when i made you do things, i didn't mean to do that, i don't know how to will it to go away when i say anything."

"Okay okay, hold on, Eddie I'm so confused... Am I loosing my mind?" I sat in his bed, the bed where i had been sleeping, trying to surround myself with his scent. "I think i might have lost my mind, it's not every day that your tragically deceased love comes back from the dead and goes on about having super powers"

I feel the bed dip with a weight right next to me although i couldn't hear any steps or shuffling as he made his way to me.

"Believe me darling, I've thought that i may have lost my mind too... If i even had it for a start" He chuckled and i couldn't help but snort at it. "Y/n, I'm terrified, i don't know what this is supposed to mean but I feel... Different, very different."

"You look different, changed." I said, finally looking at him again. "It's like... Earlier, when i saw you in from of me, it was like watching something else, something dangerous. Even though I didn't want to be scared of you, my body kept trying to run away. And when I realized i couldn't, i could only think of... Surrendering, resignation. Even before you controlled me into accepting it was real and not a dream. It was instinctual. And it is kinda still there, even if i know it's just you and I would never be afraid of you, is such a visceral reaction. As if I'm a prey and you're..." My words hang heavy in the air between us as we look at each others eyes.

"I get it. I feel it too. I can feel a lot of things now, and hear them too. Your heart pumping, your blood rushing, i can smell it in you, that you were terrified earlier and now even though you are calm, you're still wary." he says. "And I also know that if you had had the chance to run earlier, i would've had no other choice but to hunt you down. Whatever it is that changed me, made me into something that is a lot more in touch with it's baser instincts and needs, besides being a lot more powerful. Sometimes i can't control myself " i feel myself shiver at his words. Not quite understanding what he meant by these instincts and needs.

"I know you would never hurt me" I whisper and bring my hand to hold his cold one that is fidgeting in his lap. "Whatever this is, we'll figure it out together, Eddie"

"I don't know what I'd do without you" He replied and i could see how his eyes turned watery, lower lip wobbling and i knew this was my Eddie, i had gotten him back, perhaps a bit changed but it was him, and I would anything in my power to protect him, i wouldn't let anyone or anything take him away from me again. So i reached out and i held him close to me, whispering sweet promises and reassurances into his still wet hair as he cried in my arms.

I was still very confused and had many questions, but those could wait, tonight my boy needed me and there was no force strong enough in this world to prevent me from following Eddie Munson wherever he asked me to. No power great enough to keep me from giving him whatever he may need from me without even thinking of the consequences.

#eddie stranger things #Eddie Munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things 4 #Eddie Munson fanfic

[hardestgrove]

How about some mungrove hcs?

Billy learns the drums with Eddie's encouragement and Eddie uses his connections in the Indiana music scene to help Billy put together a drum set he can afford and figuring out where to keep it since you know Billy trying to practice at home wouldn't go well lol

At some point they end up getting matching tattoos. Don't ask me of what or where right now I'm coming up blank but it's either 2 complimentary designs or the same design.

Billy loves to lay on top of Eddie with his head on his chest.

They have both the best and worst road trip energy. It's practically a blood bath when they're locked in a car together for too long but also they could literally spend months fucking around driving across the country and enjoy every second. The threats of violence is just how they communicate lol the mental breakdowns over tourist traps is just part of the fun.

Eddie has big honkin' ADHD and maybe some Dyslexia since it feels like those are buy one get one free. Billy is actually pretty good at school so he helps Eddie out which was a contributing factor in him finally graduating. Billy will crack jokes about how fucking incompetent he is but it's entirely out of love and Eddie shoots jokes right back about Billy's "freaky robot capacity to like, Do Shit".

Billy isn't always the best at expressing himself-- especially in ways that make him vulnerable like love and affection-- in words or in actions traditionally associated with it (like flowers or hug for someone you care for). His solution to that is to take care of Eddie on a practical level. Eddie is an ADHD mess-- his place is a mess, his affairs are a mess, his finances are a mess, he's always forgetting shit even when it's important. So Billy takes over. He makes sure the place is reasonably clean, that there's actually decent food in the house, that Eddie doesn't forget what he was supposed to do, looks after the money etc. It's his way of saying "I love you" without saying it. Because he's Billy Fucking Hargrove and it takes 2 seconds to realize the only reason he'd do this kinda bullshit without getting paid is because he loves them.

Billy sleeps in the nude and Eddie usually starts in sleep pants and ends up in some state of pantlessness because how is he supposed to just go to sleep with Billy just naked there???? What I'm getting at here is that sometimes Eddie falls asleep pants on dick out because that's just objectively hilarious and it makes me laugh.

Eddie has the Midwest superpower of being able to wear shorts in the winter like it's nothing which works out since Billy hogs all the warm shit in the winter. Billy hates the winter so much. Eddie lets him steal his thermals and sweaters and jackets and shit. He likes seeing Billy in his clothes but he also just you know, likes Billy not shivering to death.

They read things like Heavy Metal, Kerrang and other various music and more edgy/avant garde publications together and discuss them intensely. It's deadass an Eng Lit 400 course in here.

Spinal Tap. That is all.

Eddie cannot keep his fucking hands off Billy. He's so in love and has such dog shit impulse control he's can't not touch and hold and pet etc etc. He's figured out tho ways to do things that are "socially acceptable" so it looks like they're Good Bros and he's just an affectionate dudes and not like they're boyfriends. Cuz it's Indiana in the 80s and Neil exists. Alone tho he just goes absolutely off the chain with the touch, sometimes to the point it annoys Billy cause he's trying to do shit or just not in the mood but Eddie just genuinely struggles. He feels a LOT and he had to express it or he'll crawl his skin off (yes this is another ADHD thing)

Eddie is #Obsessed with Billy in that like "okay my guy is coming in here in a second and if you fuckers don't clap for him I'm gonna blow up the building" kinda way. Like he just loves him a LOT and he can't fucking shut up about how Neat he thinks Billy is. And he's making it your fucking problem. Billy has no idea how to handle this kinda love and hype it's very cute.

Eddie is probably the best at sensing Billy's mood and its subtle changes even when Billy is masking hard. He's much better than Billy at social niceties and shit despite his whole anti-conformity thing and he uses that to help get Billy out of situations he knows Billy doesn't want to be in but doesn't want to out himself as say, distraught. Eddie overall is very protective of Billy's emotions and works hard to give him a safe space to feel, express and unload them.

Of course they move to California to pursue careers in music and Billy takes the reigns of teaching Eddie how true civilization works. Getting Eddie to the beach is always a fight but Billy pretty much always wins because he can dead lift Eddie into the fucking car sooooo. Eddie bitches a LOT about California (personally I think he'd prefer the East Coast, it seems more his vibe you know?) but he loves how much better and lighter Billy is there so like, he'll muscle through the heat lol

Billy moving back to California is a popular concept and in this context it makes sense since LA is a solid choice to pick if you're aiming to start a music career I can also see them moving to Seattle and ending up somewhat mixed in to the forming Grunge scene of the late 80s-early 90s. IMO Grunge is a genre both of them would like for various reasons both musical and sociopolitical and I can see it being one of the few genres Eddie would at least somewhat branch off into playing/experimenting with/incorporating into his own music. Plus the Pacific Northwest feels like a happy medium between the two of them in terms of what they'd like out of a place to live.

Billy is truly cringey unhinged down bad for Eddie and quietly loses his mind a lot over the lovestruck shit Eddie does. Like Eddie gets all affectionate and peppers him with "I love you"s and Billy goes insane over it. He loves the attention, the affection and the praise and he's also just desperate for it after years without. He feels like the fucking king of the world when Eddie gives him that big fond smile of his. Billy loves to kiss him when he's smiling and feel Eddie laugh against him.

#answered #mungrove #billy hargrove #eddie munson #ADHD eddie munson #doin' the lords work out here once more w/ the mungrove content lol

[generic-anime-boy-bracket]

Round 3, Group B: Matchup 1

Shinji Ikari vs Makoto Naegi

Reasons for being generic + Propaganda below

Shinji Ikari

Reasons:

- Messy black hair - Whiny - Has a tsundere friend - "Friend" - Wears the most boring fucking clothing

Normcore king. He is just A Guy. He’s the first character I thought of when I saw your intro post. 

Most normal kid with depression and abandonment issues ever (and I say this very lovingly). His hair is brown and short with generic bangs, his eyes are brown. Literally just some guy (before the horrors (tm)) His default outfit is black shirt, white dressing shirt, black pants, white shoes (which is also his school uniform)

He just wants to go to high school, have weird feelings about girls, and brood about his relationship with his father. He does not want to get in the fucking robot

He’s a teenager with short black hair and a button up top and uniform pants. Given the iconic status of NGE, I wouldn’t be surprised if Shinji’s design served as a basis for every generic modern mecha/isekai series to come after.

Propaganda:

Your honor, he's so dislikable

He deserves a win after going through the horrors(tm). I know a lot of people don't like Shinji BECAUSE he's "too generic/depressed to be a main character" but if anything that should make him win. He's my blorbo ok? He was literally just some guy who one day got the fate of the world in his hands out of nowhere and when he reasonably is like "yo I'm like super depressed, this is only making me more mentally ill than I already was" everyone goes "ok, pussy much? Call the wambulance" and I think he deserved better. Also he's gay (or at the very least bisexual), so like diversity win. Let him win. Also if he wins we can all say "Congratulations, Shinji" like in the anime

One of the classic 90s anime everymen

Roasts of his design aside, Shinji is a genuinely great and fascinating protagonist. His struggles with depression, identity, self worth and hedgehogs dilemma are compelling to watch and, for a then socially anxious teenage me, were at times crushingly relatable. He’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but he still has a place in my heart.

Makoto Naegi

Reasons:

BOOOORING GENERGIC FLUFFY BROWN HAIR. BOOOO. BORING!

Lol he is literally normal in a group of weirdos . His only defining traits are an ahoge and green jacket. If you put him in a room of generic anime boys he would Not stand out. He would be lost :(

sorry for submitting a danganronpa character but his whole thing is that he's average. he says at the beginning of the game that even among the average, he's completely average. he's the one character in the game who doesn't have a real talent, having only have gotten into hope's peak academy because of luck, being the ultimate lucky student

Look at him. His talent is luck. Literally. Only normal person at the academy because he's literally just some guy and everyone else is "the best of the best" at something. Spends a lot of the first chapter (and a little of the next ones) being like "I'm literally just some guy"

He is a highschool student who describes himself as average in everything, liking whatever's popular, has messy brown hair and a hoodie, and is the protagonist despite only getting into the situation in-game out of luck. He gets two female love interests, he is the ultimate generic anime-style protagonist. He does become less average in the finale of danganronpa v1 and danganronpa v2, but until then he is the most generic boy one can be, and that generic boy swag is what somehow gets him women.

That's the #1 thing people know about him. His whole thing is that he's just A Guy. He's what you think of when you think of generic anime protagonist. He's got the power of friendship. He's handheld by the smarter/more powerful characters to a point where it's unnecessary but still ends up the leader because he has Hope and Believes in his Friends. He's just a decent guy! Also, my favorite character.

I mean. C'mon. His entire introduction is surrounding the fact that he's so average and boring that even among average people he'd be considered too average, his character development is the usual "With the power of friendship we can overcome anything!!!!", and his personality is that "nice mc with no backbone" type. He even has that generic anime dub voice

Propaganda:

he's pretty funky

he's so silly tbh that's all also i actually like him more than hajime

He's bisexual and a short king (who is unfazed by the fact that he is short; unlike many characterswho are short he never mentions it once and I'm 98% sure that if someone else brought it up he'd just be like "ok...?"), also a very decent guy

He acts pretty adorable, and I find it hilarious how other characters outshine him in protagonist potential, which makes him an even more fun protagonist in my opinion.

His whole thing is that he's just A Kid in a peer group of what's basically super-kids. He's the epitome of what you think of when you think of generic male anime protagonist: - He's got the power of friendship. - He's handheld by the smarter/more powerful characters to a point where it's unnecessary. - Acts as the polite straight man to the insane personalities around him in an "well... whatever you say then 😅" kinda way. - Obviously in way over his head but still ends up the leader because he has Hope and Believes. - Also because he is the main/POV character and so inexplicably gets to figure out and survive things. - He has a little sister and parents who look just as generic as him.

he is also portrayed to be clumsy and flustered easily. Which feels like a very Generic Anime Teenager trait to have.

#generic anime boy bracket #shinji ikari #ikari shinji #neon genesis evangelion #nge shinji #nge #makoto naegi #naegi makoto #danganronpa

[junebuggeryy]

what's your character creation process? how do you come up with a design, backstory, personality, etc? which ones come first? and how long does it usually take?

ohjhhhHHHBoy. p. int ere st?  lotta pinterest. maybe too much pinterest. little picrew. pinterest and then picrew and then pinterest and then sketchbook, and then crying over one song you attached to them at 3 am. 

design is often the first thing that emerges for me? im a hopelessly visual thinker, enough that it’s exceptionally rare for a character to come to me without any aesthetics attached. doing a character without a design feels like im working counter to all my impulses. i have no clue how there are writers who just Make People without immediately attaching a color scheme to them. (quick sidebar: the most recent OC with this struggle was the character i repeatedly told myself i wouldnt make- which is why i find it endearing how many tags are�� #op why would you ever not make this”. i didnt KNOW i was busy not-making a cutesy robot catgirlboy! i didnt know that for months and months at a time!!) 

even though i could probably get away with designing people in pretty clothing for eternity, i find i do often need to tack on one level of story or characterization for a concept to stick in my brain. for whatever reason, with my writing sensibilities, that usually means applying a single level of metaphor, often tying back to the visual element. xeno is x-rays- okay, so xe feels exposed and wants to climb inside everything to see how it ticks. roxanne is cubism- okay, so she likes exploring multiple perspectives but is kinda janky about it. prism is made of light, with multiple eyes- okay, zi loves the spotlight and needs attention or else zi will die. sometimes i have characters that come from the other direction- lorna is closed off and feels empty? okedoke, we'll put a keyhole in her chest and go with locked box metaphors. there's a sorta back and forth conversation where the emotion informs the "element" and the "element" informs the emotion, if that makes sense.

i think backstory is one of those things that can take the longest for me to nail down? its often the area that'll receive the most revision, while i "discover" these people in reverse. i try and keep my creations thematically strong and consistent, and sometimes it takes a while of screwing around with these fellas to really understand what they're "about", and THEN i gotta turn around and rewrite their whole life accordingly. ive definitely set myself up in a worldbuilding playground where the visual design also informs a level of transformation? which is just free backstory, bayybeyy. when characters do emerge backstory first, it's because they're very settled into the world, and these rare instances can actually turn into my strongest narratives?

im vagueposting the robot catgirlboy again.

as for how long it takes?? uhhHHH, sometimes i wind up drawing people for years before they finally tell me who they are. sometimes its instantaneous! sometimes the entity known as “cubsim girl” haunts your sketchbook for years, making fun of your art, before you discover she’s an alcoholic.

she is my harshest critic.

#i have no idea if any of this is informative i feel like i just rambled here fsjfdkgsdflg. #basically i just give a character A Thing and then That Thing is Their Thing #and if the concept is any good then it spirals out beyond my control #thats it thats my summary #[bugg chitters] #thank you SO much for the ask! always a treat to talk about my process here!! <3