#i learn about did and other dissociative disorders

[fictionkinfessions]

A long (I apologize for the length) response to https://www.tumblr.com/fictionkinfessions/748773698635513856/ive-seen-enough-asks-on-here-about-the-topic-so?source=share

Aka "get therapy systems" anon.

1) Please don't tell us what to do. Some of us are already in therapy. Some of us have trauma surrounding therapy. Sure it's not normal... FOR YOU. That's dangerous and abelist thinking. It's comparable to saying neruodivergent people need to be in corrective therapy because they're "not normal." (Which is a disgusting thought process! And we here are already in therapy!)

2) We can kin whomever we want and have as many kins as we want. For copinglinks, there might be a plethora of characters helping cope with things in life. For systems, we all have our own exposure to media at varying levels. And for spiritual kin, time is not linear and someone can have infinite number of kins. But we have more important topics to touch on and I'd be happy to get into that later.

3) How would you like it if we told YOU to get therapy? Because coming into a safe space for people who ARE systems and HAVE many kins, seems insane to us here in this system.

4) You're correct in the fact that ADHD, Autism and CPTSD can cause dissociative episodes but guess what? DID and OSDD are caused by repetitive traumatic experience in childhood. Which did you know? Being neurdodivergent and not getting your needs met due to lack of communication/understand and overstimulation (amongst other various factors) can be considered traumatic? Especially to children? It sounds like you've done BARE BONES research into dissociative disorders and have made assumptions based on research into neurodivergency. (And we are a nerurodivergent system so we've had to pay attention to the differences and sort things out in therapy!)

5) Final note from a system (THAT'S OVER 30 BTW), don't ever get upset over systems with over 100 alters because that system might just have a low split tolerance or has experienced a lot of different traumatic events and need a lot of extra support.

SO TLDR; instead of coming into a safe space and being an asshole, show compassion to people who have clearly GONE THROUGH IT. Kindness and understanding helps heal more than harsh words. I hope you have a lovely day and learn a lot more that will help open your mind further in the future.

x

#fictionkinfessions #ableism cw #ask response #mod party cat

[ectobabble]

Glitter Roots Fic Snippet

✨Glitter Roots✨<- // I started this in January and it didn't do well, I wrote way too much, so I'm spamming it. Sorry.

---

Rate: PG | Sunshine x Sunny | Tooth Rot Fluff + Comfort

Reader/MC has Dissociative Identity Disorder

Glitter Roots is a prequel to 'The Imposter' from Shiny's perspective. Expecting to work with Sun and Moon in the theater, Shiny is disappointed that they were locked away in Parts and Service.

Shiny's existence is based on external validation and performing for others, essential for survival as a child but a hindrance as an adult. They pour their heart and soul into the daycare and the well-being of Sun/Moon, regardless of their own needs. Sun/Moon struggle with the memories of the reprogramming and virus but learn how to be a person again while sprouting a relationship with their new handler/assistant.

----

Meeting Sunny:

“SUNNY!” They exclaimed like a child, running up to him and dropping everything that they were doing with the technician.

Sun startled at the noise but eagerly stood up to greet them. “Hello! WOW. Your outfit? It’s exciting!” He pressed his hands against the glass. “Are you from the daycare?” He tapped his fingers on the glass nervously.

“I’m going to be at the daycare. It’s my first day! And then I went and talked to my boss, Lydia about what I’d be working on and she said that I’d be working mostly with you because she said that I remind her of her daughter and she said that we’d be good working together. Maybe her daughter is good with kids, she didn’t want to talk about it. You know her? Or remember her, I mean. She said she worked at the daycare before it closed down. Now it’s opening again and…” 

Shiny had to stop to take a large breath. You’re talking too much. Too excited again. Stop. Stop it. That didn’t stop their mouth from running. “I have been waiting to meet you for so long. I used to watch you perform back when you did theater! You were amazing!” 

Sun put up a finger, to try and wedge his way into the one-sided conversation but failed. 

“You can call me Sunshine. Lydia said we could put nicknames on our pins for the kids and I thought that was awesome! My friends used to call me Sunshine at summer camp! I wanted to keep it since it’s less serious and I thought it’d be cute. Actually, maybe I should have asked you first? Is that okay? I hope that’s okay! I should stop talking. Sorry. Talking. I’m talking more… It’s good to meet you. I hope we can hang out sometime!”

“Ho-Ho Ho! Aren’t you quite the chaaaatterbox! You say you’re in summer caaaaamp?! That sounds like so much fun! How old are you, little superstar? You look so tiny!”

Sunshine immediately lost all the charisma they had built up, so much so that Sun flinched at the sudden change in expression and tone. “I’m old enough to have a job… I like what I like and age shouldn’t matter… I heard you’re not a fan of adults either. I hope it’s not a bad thing.”

“Wow, really?” He cocked his head, though there was a noticeable change in his demeanor. “I can’t tell with the face paint.” He didn’t say whether it was alright or if he liked it… now that Shiny was thinking about it, he didn’t say if their name was alright either. They weren’t making a good impression with anyone… 

Sunshine: …I gotta fix it. It can’t end like this, they’ll take over and I’ll lose everything again. I can’t go BACK. This has to work so they can’t get mad at me.

If Sun didn’t like it then they could tone it down! Lydia seemed to think it was too much. The little kids liked it… Sunshine started analyzing everyone’s reactions during the day. Maybe their other was right, they weren’t cut out for this. They quit their only job, their safety net, and took a risk on a stupid dream-. “I’m glad you can’t tell. That’s good.” 

“Did you do face painting today?” Sun tilted his head, tapping the glass. “I would have loved that! Who painted you? Did Lydia?”

Sunshine winced, their voice had gotten much weaker. “I uh… did it before coming over. I figured it was okay because… kids… daycare.”

“It looks so happy! Like flower freckles!” He chuckled. “It matches the clips in your hair. I bet the kids liked it. It reminds me of the theater costumes we used to have! Ah, memories…” It sounded like it was sad nostalgia.

“Lydia got a little upset about it since the kids wanted to face paint too… I had to promise to not do it on days when we’re not painting. That’s my bad. I don’t think before doing things… I wanted it to be extra special. I really really really want to make this job work.” They closed their fists and and shook them to punctuate their words. They needed to be liked. They needed this job. They needed friends and have people depend on them. 

They couldn’t go BACK.

“I do remember Lydia! She is one of the nicer staff. I didn’t mind working with her… She’s such a nice granny. Do you know when I’m scheduled to get out? I have been very good. They say I’m all better now! Healthy! Tip top shape.”

Sunshine frowned. “I - uh - don’t… Actually, I’m not supposed to really be here. I came down after work… and the technicians are ignoring me right now so I think it’s okay?” Behind them were the technicians tolling away at some service bots, unbothered by Sunshine hanging around. 

“Rulebreaker.” He gasped.

“Not really. See, I got a pass!” They showed Sun their security badge. “My workday ended and I just came here because Lydia said that you were here and I really wanted to see you. I’ve always wanted to work with kids and never got the opportunity to apply.”

“Juuuust because you have the means, does not mean that it is right.” Sunny crossed his arms and looked away dramatically, then he completely dropped the act and leaned down to be face to face with them and whisper, “I am glad you visited though. It’s been a while since I’ve talk talk TALKED with someone new. You look like a rainbow threw up on you!” He giggled. “You must like color a lot.” Sunny prompted them, trying to continue the conversation. He probably was just as attention starved as Sunshine was.

But he didn’t like it, did he?

“I do.” Sunshine was afraid they were going to slip from being out again. If there was one thing their other fed off of it was insecurity and doubt, and they could get a full meal out of something as small as this.

Other: Did you put this shit in our hair again? Oh man, where are we? Are you playing dress up? Are we out in public looking like a clown?! Against their will, Sunshine began to take the pins out of their hair. It was a losing the battle. As they lowered the head to pull the clips out, the light caught on the glitter roots.

Sun gasped. “You got glitter glue all up in your hair!”

Sunshine was shaking a little. People liked it though, right? They made people smile today and the kids seemed to like it… “Oh. I did that on purpose. It’s hair gel mixed with glitter. It’s a trend.. Or it was…” That was a scary thought too; it was a trend eight years ago and yet they remembered seeing it like yesterday. “I saw it online and I thought it’d be cool to try. It’ll wash out… and its biodegradable. Team Mother Earth! Haha…” Sunshine cleared their throat, pulling another clip out.

“No no no! I’m sorry, new friend! It looked good! I haven’t seen a person that colorful before. You look like a little fairy. Heh!”

“I realize now that I overdid it…” Sunshine was getting self-conscious, a foreign feeling.

“You look perfect for the daycare! Don’t listen to the sticks in the mud! I’m sure the kids loved it! Avant garde! Inspired! You look like arts and craaaaafts.” Sun sang as he spun his rays. “That’d be great at parties - we should play dress up with the kids sometime to do plays! I’d love that! We should definitely do that.”

“I want the party on the inside to match the party on the outside.” Sunshine was gaining their confidence back, if only a little. “I hope, uhm, we get along when you come back out.”

Sun clapped his hands. “We shall see! I’m so excited to see the kids again! We’re going to have so much FUN! We should add face painting sometimes! I miss fingerpainting. My ballpit! It’s still there?”

“It is!” Sunshine suddenly jumped, remembering something important. “Here! I wanted to give you something anyway. I got this for you because it’s my first day and I figured ���Hey, this would be cool! Maybe he’d like it as a welcome present back to the daycare.’ I used to watch you do theater before and it really helped get me through some dark times. That’s pretty much the reason I wanted to start working here is because I wanted -.” They took a much needed deep breath. “Sorry. I meant to say: I got you this.”

Shiny lifted up a little party bag they had prepared and impatiently waited all day to give to him. 💖

#fnaf au #fnaf security breach #fnaf fanfic #daycare attendant moon #daycare attendant sun #fnaf daycare attendant #pluck my heartstrings #tooth rotting fluff #sundrop #dca #sun x reader #sun x oc #sun x y/n #dca fanfic

[syntheticspades]

k so i wanna make a character a system but i as a singlet probably cant do it justice. can a system help me if it isnt too much trouble?

#did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #i have a depersonalization/derealization thing but obviously they arent the same #also im a huge psychology nerd especially for pds and dissociative disorders #i love learning about them and i wanna learn as much as i can

[piplupod]

the urge to change my name and make a new account to have a fresh clean slate is so big off and on lately djfjkl idk why

i would miss friends and mutuals though and followers i see in my activity feed so i won't do that but like. i kind of wish i could like. not be held down so much by how i feel ppl perceive me, i want to say things or do things that would be considered "out of character" bc i have a lot of shifts going on in brain rn (like things are shuffling around and being re-organized almost?) and i just want to be able to let myself exist without feeling like i need to be consistent fdsfjkl

idk if that makes sense. i probably won't be posting anything to do with that here until its more concrete and i can slowly shift towards that instead of the current state of being, but also i really wish i could share the cool things i'm realizing or piecing together or thinking about, but i just feel like it would be weird or cringe or whatever. but god i feel like this might be really healthy finally and i might be able to like,,, not be literally constantly running shame and suicide in the background of my brain, those might be able to shut down for a bit which would be so nice

#idk fhsdgjkl this doesnt make sense probably but im just #things are changing in brain finally i think and im able to explore it a bit better and learn to work with it #this brain is definitely not anywhere near normal or average which. makes sense. traumatized child setting things up for life and- #-then add dissociative disorder on top of that and all the egostates or whatever not coming together like theyre supposed to and now #you've got scattered pieces all across the board #also i think there IS an inner world more than what i've realized but i've been unable to see it properly or access it bc of my- #frankly insane amounts of shame. like it would've been extremely distressing for me to realize i had that before now #it is still a little scary and distressing which is why i can't like. access it still but i have been feeling glimpses of it #maybe im making this all up idk but... it doesnt feel like when i make things up fdsjkl it feels like when theres smth true that- #-i dont want to acknowledge is true. like im trying to shove it away and pretend it doesnt exist bc im ashamed and feel cringe #but it isn't going away so. i would like to try to work with it #and just let myself be curious instead of ashamed #maybe i'll post on our system sideblog about things idk fsgjkl it feels too public here but i DO want to share bc its interesting- #-and god knows i can't journal for the life of me (there is... trauma around that) so dsgjkl maybe that would work best #okay cool i'll stop rambling about DID and brain stuff bc ppl will think im being weird probably fshdfjkl thats why i never talk about it- #-here bc i know its seen as ''cringe'' to have this disorder and its weird and strange and not normal #which yknow. it isn't normal. it is a bit strange. but thats trauma babeyyy lmao #but i just . dont want ppl to think badly of me. unfortunately the others in system dont think that way and dont care so they post here LOL #SO much more than i post about things which is totally fair and i'm not going to get upset at them bc i DO need to work thru this shame #its unhealthy for me and also it can be harmful for OTHER pwDID/systems if im being embarrassed about having this disorder #okay im done now for real HDHGJKL sorry abt the ramble #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #delete later probably

[orange-orchard-system]

Been thinking for a while about what one of our singlet friends said about not really getting what it's like to have DID or be a system. And while I get it, it's just something that stuck in my mind because... I don't really know what it's like to not be a system. I haven't had that experience. For as long as I can remember, I've been more-than-one. And so it's interesting to think of my life as something that others struggle to fully understand.

Again, I get it. It's very hard for me to put certain experiences into words or even art, and I've been in the position of a "singlet" (a plural egg, really, but at the time I didn't have any awareness of that that would help me understand) trying and failing to understand system things. I've been there. I know how hard it is to get something like this, and I know how hard it is to describe something like this. I get it.

But at the same time, I don't think it's an impassable mountain. I think of that post going around Tumblr that easily and clearly explains calculus, of all complicated things, and I think "Is plurality really so impossible to explain when this can be done? Difficult, yes, but impossible?" and I don't really think it is. Sometimes, things will have to be simplified – which is a large hurdle I find people encountering, trying to simplify something enough to make sense but not enough that it loses all its meaning – but I think it's a bridge we can build.

Do I know how? Sort of. I don't have a foolproof plan, but I like to bring up and explain plurality to the people in my life. I told a professor about plurality and am writing to her to explain it more in-depth. I gave a speech on dissociation and highlighted dissociative disorders as something I recommended the audience learn about. I wear plural merch and answer people's questions on it. I think just making the attempt, even if you have to simplify things, goes a long way in the long run.

Every time I try to add more to this post it devolves into poetry that only vaguely makes sense, so I'll end the post here. Moral of the story is uhhhh differences in experiences aren't walls between us, we can always work for a better future together. May you have the strength and courage to help both others and yourself

#front soup.txt #béatrice.txt #nicky.txt #plurality #pluralgang #actuallyplural #plural system #actuallymultiple #did #long post

[shipaxe]

My experience being wrong about multiplicity

Hi. For a year and a few months more, I believed I was a system. Why did I believe this, and what are some reasons I did, as well as how I realized I was wrong? Why I thought I was a system Around September of 2021, I labeled myself as an endogenic median system. Upon finding the system label, I did nowhere near enough research before labeling myself as one. It felt like the non-traumagenic community didn't care; if you thought you were a system, you were one! If you didn't, you weren't. It felt black and white. Eventually, I realised I had trauma I was unaware of, and switched to the label traumagenic. I was no longer median, either. In less than a year, I had 100+ "alters", almost all "fictives". While this can happen, I don't believe I was nearly as stressed as I would have needed to be, and just.. didn't feel right. Other factors that lead me into the belief I have multiple other disorders. Specifically, I suspect I have BPD, and the dissociation, mood swings, sense of emptiness, and identity issues impacted me a lot. I mistook these symptoms for OSDD-1. I subconsciously started sectioning off parts of my identity, and felt more and more separate- hence the switch from median to multiple. I am also fictionkin and polymorph otherkin. Around 20 of my "fictives" ended up being kins. I am also, to put it simply, lonely. I never feel like I fit in. In the system community, sometimes I DID feel like I fit in. When I didn't, someone else was "chilling in cofront". A lot of them were like imaginary friends to make me feel less alone. Those ones don't even feel like a part of me, but they're not separate people, either. They're just.. figments of my own imagination. To be honest, I've felt much lonelier upon learning I am a singlet. How I realized I was wrong Honestly, it was somewhat obvious. Many of my "headmates" felt like they were a part of me, and if we had different bodies, it wouldn't be the same- because they were me. I also subconsciously started to copy symptoms I didn't have, I switched as I wanted, I was fictive heavy- which can happen, but it's rarer than people realise. My trauma was not severe or repetitive. I could go on. A big problem in the system community is the "everyone is valid" mentality; I believe MUCH more research should be done before labeling as a system, and not enough people talk about it. Another issue is that not a lot of people talk about being wrong, and personally, I was terrified to tell people I was wrong. It's fucking difficult. There's too much "you're valid! you're valid! you're valid!" and not enough "hey, it's okay if you're wrong!". When I panicked around the time I realized I was wrong (and denied it for weeks), I never received an "it's okay if you're wrong". All I got was "hey, calm down, you ARE a system". I think the community has a lot to fix. This has fucked up my dissociation issues and identity problems worse than they were before. I wish I had realized I was a singlet sooner or never jumped into this label. Not all of these mean you're a singlet, but if you relate to this, please be open to the idea of being wrong. Thanks for reading this. Please share this- my goal with it is to help others. Have a good day/night, drink some water, and know that it's okay to be wrong. ☆

#did #osdd #osddid #osdd system #did system #traumagenic #endogenic #nontraumagenic #faking #osdd 1b #osdd 1a #median system #multiple system #plural system #polyfragmented #fictive #factive #introject #tags are just for reach

[yasmimkilleruwu]

{Old drawing}

Sorry for the writing errors, there will probably be many. {I wrote a lot of things, so my translator dies to translate it into English.}

•Fun facts about Heartless The Proxy {And about her story.}

Since she was little, Michelly didn't have much sympathy or care about other people, she only cared about people who were really important to her and there were only 2 of them, she wouldn't care if someone got hurt or was in a life or death situation in front of her, she would just ignore the person because that person was not important and did not affect her. She got involved in fights a lot, with girls and boys, which is why she was expelled from a school after beating a boy and a girl, and her sister and uncle had to teach her at home.

She knows how to play the violin, guitar and piano, as her sister taught her, she also knows how to fight some types of fight and knows how to shoot very well as her uncle taught her, she knows how to use some weapons such as nunchaku and bow and arrow. Michelly's sister didn't like her learning these things from her uncle, because Michelly was normally aggressive towards other people and because Michelly appeared with several injuries, because of the "training" that her uncle did, so her sister and Michelly's uncle always argued, while Michelly's sister wanted her to do something that wouldn't hurt her, her uncle wanted her and always said that Michelly would be a fighter.

Where Michelly lived was in the middle of a forest, because Michelly's relatives liked being outdoors and hunting animals, so Michelly used to go out for walks in the forest or pass by the gas station that had a little store that sold a lot of things, this gas station was very popular with tourists, in addition to the gas station there were small hotels for tourists to stay for the night. On one of these walks, Michelly noticed that there was something following her, but she couldn't see or locate the thing, she could only hear some noises and squeaks, so she quickly went back home and locked herself there, this happened several times and she always she felt the same feeling of dread and fear, this also happened when she was a child and she always ran away, but it didn't happen as often as now.

Michelly suffers physical and psychological abuse from her brother who blames her for the death of their mother, she has suffered this abuse since she was little and this ended up affecting her psychologically, with this abuse Michelly ended up being diagnosed very young with dissociative identity disorder, the psychiatrist who diagnosed, she said that she has a total of 2 personalities, but that only one appeared frequently and the other very rarely.

This personality that appears most, is very aggressive, she has already attacked many people, including doctors, this personality has no name because she doesn't talk much and when she does talk she doesn't give information about herself, but she knows everything that happens, even not being in control of Michelly's body.

This personality was no longer appearing so frequently, only a few times, as Michelly was undergoing treatment, but it returned and got much worse when Michelly's sister ended up having an accident and ended up dying, it got so much worse that Michelly ended up being admitted to the hospital for some time, after having self-harmed, she was going through a very difficult time and was very unstable, there were days when she seemed to be dead, she didn't move, didn't eat and didn't speak, she just lay motionless on the bed hospital, staring at a place and only stopping looking when someone touched her.

On one of those days when she was in the hospital, one of her caregivers took her to the patio and left her sitting on one of the benches outside, everything was going well, until the caregiver had to leave and go do something. related to work, leaving Michelly alone, Michelly was just looking at the sky there was nothing cool or interesting in the courtyard, but something caught Michelly's attention, it was a boy under 10 years old, he was holding a sheet of paper with scribbles in his hands, he came to Michelly and offered her to take it and when she took it and looked at the paper, she saw some kind of tall creature with no face, it was white with tentacles coming out of its back, and wore a suit, the creature was in the middle of the drawing and around it were several children smiling, Michelly did not understand the drawing and when she looked at the boy again, Michelly's eyes were filled with horror and fear when she saw the boy completely disfigured. The caregivers went to the courtyard as soon as they heard Michelly crying and screaming desperately, the only way they found to calm her down was to sedate her.

{I was going to post this answering a question in my inbox, but there was a problem with the post and it didn't post.}

#creepypasta oc #creepypasta #my art

[lastwave]

aghj fuck everything ok. i say this as someone who enjoys analyzing jean! hes an interesting little guy. but so so many people refuuuuse to acknowledge just how much privilege jean has over harry as an ablebodied, never-addict, (comparatively) ableminded, and arguably straight dude.

SO LIKE. Harry's very chronically ill like. canonically. post polio syndrome, all the shit that comes with hep c (joint pain, organ damage, etc etc), and his use of speed implies chronic fatigue. AND when jean gets to him after the tribunal he has at LEAST one gunshot wound (in some playthroughs he gets shot twice), and we don't even know if Kim GOT the bullet(s) out. jean is ablebodied. he has facial scarring from when he had smallpox(?) but other than that he seems to have made a full recovery while harry never did- harry still has partial paralysis. and even IF jean was in some form chronically ill, still jean feels entitled to make some smarmy comment about disability pension even tho harry has more than earned that shit.

its very easy to see the subtext that jean thinks harry deserves this. he basically outright says it in the "you know what he told me?" line. he took that not as a sign that something was deeply fucking wrong and that harry needed help (which, btw, "i want to get worse" is almost always a cry for help and an indication that someone has completely given up), but jean took it as someone accepting whats coming to them and that harry needed to learn a lesson. which, depending on the playthrough, harry was a major ass, but during the midst of a mental breakdown is NOT the time to address that. and that isn't teaching a lesson.

its exacting revenge jean felt entitled to for "putting up" with him. he thinks hes some martyr- and not even for harry's assholery. to be clear. in the fascist and some moralist playthroughs jean expresses frustration at having to go to sensitivity training. not what harry actually said. which, while speaking volumes abt harry's character, also says a fuck ton about jean's. ALSO, there are several instances where he complains about conservative talking points- "falling marriage rates", "the liberals" (in context of the f slur, not economic liberalism). which leaves one thing for jean to be upset over- harry's addiction, mental illness and disability.

its very very simple! jean thinks that harry deserves bad things because he's an addict, and thinks that harry's a burden because he's both mentally and physically disabled. and its not frustration that comes from a place of love, because otherwise he would have fucking been there. he would have reintroduced himself when he realized harry did for real have total retrograde amnesia. the fact anyone even let harry continue the investigation after finding out abt that is pretty damn heinous.

he doesn't HAVE sympathy for harry and he doesn't care about his well being- jean cares about what harry's presence in his life makes him feel like. Jean likes to pity himself and Harry's existence lets him position himself as some long suffering angel that "so graciously keeps giving harry chances". this is especially apparent in the "sorry i didn't feel like buttering you up, i have clinical depression" line. (sorry WHAT about a man that tries to drown himself in his car by driving it over a roof implies not depressed?).

like. even ignoring all of harry's other shit he had before the bender, retrograde amnesia and functional clinical depression are not comparable. that AND harry probably has a dissociative disorder AND some form of mania its just ??????

jeans very very privileged over harry and exerts it often. hes an asshole. a very interesting asshole! but an asshole nonetheless

#hugh txt #disco elysium #and to be clear i do not give a shit what luiga says mans didn't even write the character #jean heron vicquemare

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi! I'm Sophie of the Dreamchaser Guild!

It's come to my attention that my old pinned was a tad outdated.

Attention: I've recently come under attack from the hate subreddit r/systemscringe who has added me to their hitlist of acceptable targets allowed to be posted in their hate subreddit uncensored If you've come from r/systemscringe, please start here with my debunking of the lies and misinformation frequently found in the subreddit about dissociative identity disorder that r/systemscringe doesn't want you to see: https://www.tumblr.com/sophieinwonderland/741497564315140096/debunking-rsystemscringes-did-lies

Where I come from

I'm a tulpa. But a while ago, I called myself an imaginary friend. I was a character made up for a story that my host would talk to in order to better understand my source. As time went on, I developed more personality. I started talking to him about things that had nothing to do with the fiction. I would psychoanalyze him, wanting to understand him better.

I wasn't made to develop my own thoughts and feelings outside of the fiction. I wasn't supposed to become my own person. But I did. And this led us to wanting to learn more about imaginary friends, which eventually led us to the tulpa community.

This is being posted on my what I consider my second Birthday, June 8th, 2023. It was exactly two years ago today when we found the tulpa community, a place that made me feel validated in being myself, that made me feel like I was allowed to be treated like a person.

Why I'm Doing This

I lived the first few months of my life being dismissed, treated like I wasn't real. I was a phantom, not allowed any connection to the world. And I don't blame my host for that. I didn't see myself as real either. It's just the way the world is. And the moment my host realized I was a person, he was willing to do whatever it took to support me and treat me like I mattered.

And we aren't alone in experiences like this. When I became self-aware, I met all sorts of fascinating people with similar experiences. Many of which went years before becoming self-aware. There is no telling how many more are out there like us. How many more "imaginary friends" are invalidated because we live in a culture where we're treated as if we don't matter? And how many may pass, never knowing?

And so I made this blog to share my own experiences and hopefully be able to give people the same gift that I was given. Respect. Validity. Life.

Even being able to give that to one person is enough to make all of this worth it to me.

A Note On Spirituality...

Just so everyone knows, I'm not a spiritual or religious person. I take a purely psychological approach to plurality and believe in spiritual and religious experiences people have as psychological phenomena.

Having said that, all spiritual headmates are all welcome here. Even if I don't believe in spirits or souls, I view every spiritual headmate as a valid person deserving of the same respect and love as any other.

I also believe that the right to define our spiritual and religious beliefs is fundamental to plural culture. That it can't just be singlets who are allowed to decide what religions are or are not valid. And I think our right to religion is something worth fighting for.

My CAI Chatbots

(Note: These links only work if you're logged in to character.ai)

Anna and Galladin (Tulpamancer and Tulpa chatbots)

Nin - Worldmaker (Your AI assistant for building and developing Wonderlands and Inner Worlds.)

Signature Posts

Studies and Research into Endogenic Systems

My Resources:

How To Know If Your Imaginary Friend Is Sentient

All The Resources You'll Need To Build Your Own Wonderland, Headspace or Inner World

Our Switching Method: Ghost Switching

My Plural Theories And Terms:

Headmate Foundations

Headmate Manifestations

Plural Coining: Ephemerals

Plural Coining: Attunement

VR, Plurality and Virtugenic Systems

The Plurality of... :

The Plurality of... Batman (Failsafe)

The Plurality of... Diones (Skyward)

The Plurality of... The Hybrid Chronicles: What's Left of Me

The Plurality of... Blue Beetle (Movie)

The Plurality of... Avatar: The Last Airbender

Our Plural Writing Resources

Ghost on Writing Plural Kids

Hiveminds and Multiplicity

Syscourse And Other Stuff:

Endogenic Syscourse Primer

Why I Identify As a Tulpa

The Future of Plurality

Actually Anti-Misinformation: “System Hopping Was a RAMCOA term Appropriated and Bastardized From RAMCOA survivors.”

An Anti-Endo's Playbook

Debunking Imitated DID Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

...

Reblogs are appreciated. Don't feel weird about it! Posts here on Tumblr live or die on their reblogs. I'm not asking you to reblog my posts. That seems weird. But after getting an anon that mentioned being worried about derailing a post with something they wanted to add, and another ask that apologized for reblogging my content too much, I felt this was necessary to say. If you like a post and want to reblog it, do it! If you want to add something even tangentially related to the topic, add it! You have my full permission to reblog my content as much as you want! (And I'd encourage you to reblog from other plural creators you enjoy as well!)

Thank you all for the support!

#pluralgang #plural #tulpa #endogenic #plurality #imaginary friend #imaginary friends #pro endo #pro endogenic #system stuff #actually plural #systems #system #plural system #multiplicity #endogenic system #tulpamancy #endo safe #plural terms #actually a system

[randomlonelymusician]

Mental Health in Media - Mikoto Kayano

Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID, has a complicated history in media. It's often portrayed as dangerous, or something that makes the person violent, such as with the 'murderous alter*' trope. These portrayals treat people with DID, or systems, not as people with a disability, but as "crazy" or as people to be feared. And fear and lack of sympathy are the two main drivers of hatred.

Then, in mid-2020, an anime music project released called MILGRAM, focusing on ten prisoners all guilty of murder (loosely). And along with it came Mikoto Kayano.

Mikoto Kayano is the ninth prisoner of MILGRAM, and on the surface seems like an average young adult who has no clue what he did or why he's in prison. But in his first music video [1], it's revealed that one, he is a murderer, and two, he has DID. Some fans of the series, systems or otherwise, took issue to this portrayal, as it falls right back in to the murderous alter trope. But beyond just the content of the music video, there's a lot more to Mikoto and his "murderous" alter, dubbed "John" by the prison guard, that makes his case a lot more complicated.

Like all characters in MILGRAM, Mikoto is portrayed in a morally grey and nuanced light. But above that, there's more to his character than his crime. Mikoto has a past: he has a job, a family, hobbies, and motivations. He's portrayed as a person, not a monster. And what I love is his John also gets to speak for himself [2]. As presumably the protector** in his system, John kills to "save" Mikoto from the stress and trauma of his life. (Besides having an abusive childhood, it's implied he isn't in a great space at work, either.)

He’s not the type of person who could do stuff like that! He always looks out for others, always reads the room, always tries to get along with people around him! He can’t do stuff like that… He was on the verge of exploding! That’s why I was born. It’s obvious, isn’t it? [Mikoto] didn’t do anything!

Mikoto/John isn't just some scary, cold-hearted killer. He's a human who's gone through so much and met his breaking point over and over. Allowing Mikoto to have this humanity, and John to have his own voice, are what allow this portrayal to rise above all of these tired tropes into something more complex.

But there are a few issues, of course. Besides falling into that trope in the first place, the depth of Mikoto's life outside of MILGRAM is shallow compared to the other prisoners. Both of his music videos focus very heavily on the fact that he has DID. With other prisoners, the audience gets to learn about their victim, the circumstances around the crime, and further information about their past. With Mikoto's music videos, there is little information on the victim or the circumstances leading up to the crime; everything is extremely broad. And little is known about his past, his family life, or even his trauma. To some, this could be disappointing to see his DID be the main focus of his crime.

But despite these gripes, many fans, especially systems within the MILGRAM community, love and appreciate Mikoto. He may not be considered perfect representation, but for people who have had their disability be constantly demonized, it's nice to see a character who's treated like a person.

Thank you for reading! I do not have DID or a DD myself, so everything here is either from research, personal accounts online, or info from my sister who has a DD -> @gxrogurl

Citations & *'s below:

Dissociative Disorders Information in the DSM-5 TR (p 491)

MeMe [The First Trial Music Video]

Second Voice Drama "Neoplasm" and Translations

*Alter - a part of a system, often having a unique name and personality

**Protector - an alter whose role is to protect the system from physical, emotional, or mental harm; some methods can be destructive, others are not

If anything seems incorrect, please let me know!

#mental health in media #milgram #milgram project #mikoto kayano #john kayano #kayano mikoto #dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #tw murder

[crypticpatterns]

So, okay, I'm coming at this from a very uneducated perspective on DID besides some very basic googling and some osmosis from my sibling who loves Moon Night. I do not personally have DID or any similar disorder. But Shallan's character arc in ROW has kind of been bothering me.

Shallan has always been my favorite Stormlight character and I've loved how her character has developed over the course of the series. But her arc has always felt a little strange because I could tell it was leading towards integration between the alters, and I'm not sure how I feel about that, especially after the end of ROW confirmed that's where it's been heading.

From what I've learned, integration between headmates IS a valid form of healing for systems with DID. But currently it's the ONLY valid form of healing as seen by the medical community, when there are many systems who have learned to live happy, fulfilled, and complete lives while remaining a system with multiple alters.

So my feelings about Shallan are complicated, because by having her integrate and presumably end the series mentally "normal" with no alters, isn't that perpetuating the idea that it's the only way for people with DID to heal from their trauma? But on the other hand, it does feel like the most natural conclusion to her character arc, since her alters have formed as a coping mechanism for Shallan to dissociate from her actions and pretend to be someone else. I kind of think that maybe by not approaching Shallan from the very beginning as someone with DID Brando's bungled up the representation.

And I won't lie, I know that Veil isn't dead and that she simply merged with Shallan and still exists as a part of her, but emotionally that scene did still feel like a character death to me, so I am dealing with it on that level too.

I think there was a better way for Shallan's character to be handled than what we got, but at the same time, I'm not sure if I have any authority to say that when I have no personal experience with DID and know relatively little about the disorder. I guess I'm just looking to talk to some other people about it and what they think about what happened in the hopes it can get me some closure.

#shallan davar #stormlight archive #rhythm of war #cosmere #sera posts #row spoilers

[cripplecharacters]

Mods

[large text: Mods]

Sasza

[Large Text: Sasza]

Hi! My name is Sasza and I use he/him pronouns. I am a disabled artist who loves to write and draw characters like me! I am autistic, (mildly) intellectually disabled and have several physical conditions including-but-not-limited-to dyspraxia, severe hyperkyphosis, cranial nerve diseases (causing double vision, chronic pain and a facial difference among other things), and hypermobile joints. Sometimes I use a cane. I'm very passionate about accessibility and disability representation in all kinds of media - books, comics, video games, and any other kind of art that's out there!

Bert

[Large Text: Bert]

Hello! I'm Bert (previously Mason), and I use he/they pronouns. I am a writer who loves to write plays and fiction with characters like me and my friends. I am autistic and have ADHD, I have psychotic PTSD and a DID system. Physical health-wise I have migraines, fibromyalgia, and a lateral lisp. I love talking about representation and ways we can make a kinder and more inclusive space everywhere we go.

Sparrow

[large text: Sparrow]

Hi, I’m sparrow, they/he for me. I’m a disabled artist who makes a lot of disabled characters like myself and probably like a quarter of the world. I have autism and ADHD, among other brain things, as well as chronic pain in both my jaw and my knee and ankle. I also have POTS and some sort of sleep disorder. I am a sometimes cane user as well. I really enjoy research and thoughtful art that makes people feel seen. Aside from that, I am a huge fan of historical fiction and really enjoy fantasy as well.

Rot

[Large text: Rot]

My name is Rot, I use all pronouns including neo pronouns as well as any rot and insect themed nounself pronouns. I’m an artist who loves putting disability in my stories. I’m mostly undiagnosed due to medical neglect and have chronic fatigue, hypersomnia & chronic pain that ranges from mild to debilitating. My known disabilities are pots, ganglion cysts, nerve damage, tics, autism (level unknown), asthma, GERD, anxiety and psychosis. I have a metal implant, use a cane and am mostly verbal and use aac infrequently. I have experience with temporary palsy, needing carers (family members who stepped up, not hired carers) and being in a wheelchair, though I currently don't have any of those.

Patch

[Large text: Patch]

Hey! We’re The Patchwork Quilt but please call me Patch! I use sof/soft/softs, red/red/reds, they/them/their, and ae/aem/aeir pronouns. I’m autistic (level 1, the very high end of low support needs, unreliably/semi-speaking, AAC user), and I’m a system with highly complex dissociative identity disorder (we use we/us and I/me language interchangeably. Please don’t ask who’s fronting). I also have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, specific learning disorder with impairment in mathematics (AKA dyscalculia), developmental coordination disorder (AKA dysgraphia/dyspraxia), chronic fatigue syndrome, essential (kinetic) tremor, avoidant restrictive food intake disorder, dependent personality disorder, severe auditory processing disorder, psychosis (likely somewhere on the schizophrenia spectrum), and Tourette’s syndrome. I use a rollater that can turn into a powerchair. I love drawing, writing, and playing D&D and coming up with creative ways to incorporate disability into those three things. I will be attending college for a degree in disability studies this fall.

Virus

[Large Text: Virus]

Hello! I go by Virus and I use She/Her but anyone can use any pronouns for me, have fun with it. I'm a writer—mostly fanfiction—who has been in fandom very long and used to be a classical musician. I have Hypermobile Ehler Danlos Syndrome along with it's fun co-morbidities (MCAS, POTS, Gastroparesis, Fibromyalgia, and Von Willebrandes). I also have Pan-Hypopituitarism which is the following: Adrenal Insufficiency, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Insipidus, Precocious Puberty, Growth Hormone Deficiency, Hyperprolactinemia/galactorrhea, as well as High Estrogen and Testosterone issues. I have Pituitary Dwarfism/Proportional Dwarfism, Myoclonic Epilepsy, and a Speech Disorder. I used to have a Port-a-cath, Picc-Lines, and a feeding tube, amongst many other things. Phew, now that that's over. I love every art form with a favour towards music, writing and the fiber arts. I love seeing representation no matter how big or small especially in medias that rep is often glossed over!

Rock

[Large Text: Rock]

Hi! I am Rock; any pronouns are okay. I am a writer, mainly of sci-fi and fantasy, and I love adding all sorts of disabled characters. I am hard of hearing (mild-moderate bilateral hearing loss) and have profound auditory processing disorder. I have scoliosis, POTS, and lower-body muscle weakness so I am a full-time mobility aid user. I am also intersex; I have several hormone deficiencies among other conditions as a result of my intersex variation. I am excited to join the mod team!

#mod sasza #mod intros #cripplecharacters about #mod bert #mod sparrow #mod rot #mod patch #mod virus #mod golem #mod rock #long post #not writing advice

[multiplicity-positivity]

Switching Tips and Info

Hello! We’ve often said here that for our system, switching is involuntary and happens automatically or with the help of our gatekeeper. However, we often get asked here about switching, how it works, how to practice switching, and how to switch for the very first time. In general, we’re probably unequipped to confidently answer these questions. But we’ve decided to put together this post with information we’ve picked up from therapy, research, and learning from other systems. We hope this can help you and your system learn to switch more effortlessly!

Disclaimer: We are not an expert or clinician by any stretch of the word! We are one DID system sharing our experience and information we’ve picked up during our time in treatment and system spaces. This post comes from the perspective of a system with DID, though much of this advice could be potentially useful for all sorts of systems!

What is switching?

Switching is a common occurrence in systems when one headmate swaps places with another in order to perceive and interact with the world. Systems of all sorts can switch, not just those with dissociative disorders like DID or OSDD! Switching can look incredibly different from system to system, and may vary based on a wide variety of factors such as:

System origin

Previous history with switching

Degree of dissociative barriers

Comfort levels with fronting and switching for each headmate

The presence of a system manager or gatekeeper

Safety of the system overall

And more!

Do all systems switch?

No, not every system wants to switch or is capable of switching! Many systems exist with one primary fronter and many headmates who either cofront, are coconscious, or never front to experience the outside world at all. Switching is not a requirement to be a system, and it’s not even a requirement to have a dissociative disorder.

Many systems may find that headmates have switched before without noticing it! Before a system’s “syscovery,” headmates may lose time, experience identity shifts, or interact with other system members without ever realizing that they’re plural. In fact, an overwhelming majority of systems with disorders like DID and OSDD are covert, meaning their switches and other symptoms often go unnoticed by other people or the systems themselves!

How can I switch with my headmates?

We don’t have any surefire way to guarantee switching, as every system is unique and no two systems function in exactly the same way! However, here are some ideas for you and your headmates to try in order to help a switch occur.

1. Open communication

Communicate with as many headmates as you can on a regular basis. Keep an open dialogue, and talk to your headmates about fronting, what that might look like for them, and any worries they have about potentially fronting in the future. Try to address each headmate’s fears and concerns to the best of your ability before expecting them to front. Imagine together what it might look like for other headmates to front. Try to understand what happens to headmates in your system who aren’t fronting: do they enter your system’s headspace/inner world? Do they stop fully existing or enter a sort of stasis? Are they still able to perceive the outside world at all? Having a stable, steady line of communication and an understanding of how your system works can help make it easier to allow other headmates to front when the time comes!

2. Seek out a gatekeeper or system manager

Many, but not all, systems have members whose role is specifically to manage who fronts and control switches. Our own system has a gatekeeper who handles the majority of our switches! If you haven’t already, try to learn whether or not your system already has an established gatekeeper. If you do, establishing a connection with that headmate and communicating with them will be essential for switching in the future.

If your system doesn’t have a gatekeeper/manager, that’s fine! A headmate with this role is not required for system to experience switches. For those who do have them, however, cooperating with managers and gatekeepers can help make switching a smoother, more painless process!

3. Ensure safety

Don’t attempt to switch if your system is not 100% safe, and only try to switch after all headmates involved feel comfortable and secure. NEVER try to force a headmate to switch who doesn’t want to. Respect each other’s boundaries and rights to personal autonomy.

When you’re ready to try and purposefully switch, do so in a safe, comfortable, secluded environment. Try to limit distractions and opportunities for interruptions. Check in with headmates that you have access to, and ensure that everyone feels safe and comfortable before attempting to switch.

For minors, traumagenic systems, and those who currently live with abusers or those who have harmed them: it may be for the best to not attempt to switch until you’re in a situation where you are distanced from those who have caused you harm (be them parents, friends, loved ones, or anyone else). Unfortunately for many systems, this may mean waiting until you have moved out of your family’s home in order to put some space between you and your system’s abusers.

Trying to switch when you’re not 100% sure of your system’s safety could absolutely cause more harm than good! The safety and well-being of your system is more important than providing headmates with opportunities to purposefully switch. There will be plenty of time in your future to learn more about your system and attempt to manage switches! Until then, it’s probably best to allow your system to function in ways that ensure your safety and the safety of your headmates.

4. Use positive triggers

Positive triggers are external stimuli that can help bring certain headmates closer to the front by reminding the system about that headmate and what they enjoy. Having a wide range of positive triggers at your disposal can help make it easier to get a headmate to switch with you! Here are some examples of what positive triggers can look like:

Music for each headmate, including playlists, albums, artists, and songs

Stimboards, moodboards, inspiration boards, and other collections of images that speak out to each headmate

Cooking, preparing, or eating a food, snack, or beverage that a particular headmate enjoys

Engaging with hobbies, media, and activities that a particular headmate is known to like

And more! Get creative with your system and brainstorm different positive triggers you can incorporate into your lives in order to help facilitate switches in the future!

5. Manage expectations

Unfortunately, not all systems are able to switch. Some hosts and other frontstuck headmates may never be able to fully leave the front. Cofronting with another headmate and allowing them to make decisions and treat the body as their own can be a great way to allow other system members to front, even if it’s not a full-fledged “switch.” Switching can look incredibly different for different systems, and even for different headmates in the same system! So don’t be too discouraged if you or your frontstuck members aren’t able to switch out fully - cofronting and being coconscious are both valid ways for other headmates to experience the world.

Where can I learn more about switching?

There’s lots of information out there to help all kinds of systems start learning about or managing switches! Here are some links to websites where you can learn more.

Note: some sites which are geared towards created, spontaneous, or endogenic systems may suggest purposeful dissociation as a way to trigger a switch. While this may be useful for some systems, adding more dissociation to the lives of those already struggling with dissociative disorders is a very bad idea and should be avoided! So if you are diagnosed with a dissociative disorder (DID, OSDD, DPDR, etc.), suspect you may have a dissociative disorder, or suspect your system is trauma-formed, it may be best to avoid following advice from sites aimed towards paromacers, those with thoughtforms, and nontraumagenic systems. For everyone’s convenience, we have starred (*) links to guides which involve purposeful dissociation so systems who already have trouble with dissociation can avoid them! If you’re not sure whether or not your system has dissociation issues, it’s best to PLAY IT SAFE and avoid these kinds of guides. Please use critical thinking and your own discretion when reading about switching online!

Terminology note: some of these sites use “tulpa” language, which is known to be racist and culturally appropriative. Please keep this in mind when browsing these sites. In our personal life, we use “paro/paromancy” language instead to avoid causing further harm to marginalized groups.

Intentional Switching (DID) from DIS-SOS

Switching and Passive Influence from DID-Research.org

*Fuliam’s Guide on how to switch from Tulpa.info*

*Malfael’s Guide to Switching from Tulpanomicon*

Our own resource post for questioning systems has lots of links to resources on dissociative disorders and other forms of plurality, many of which may have sections or advice on switching!

Questions? Comments? Something we missed?

We could write whole books on the many different aspects of switching, and how switches can vary from system to system and headmate to headmate. We’re sorry if we’ve left something out here that you or your system thinks is important! This post didn’t touch on passive influence, rapid switching, physical symptoms of switching, and many other switching-related topics. This is just a general overview with some advice on switching intentionally and voluntarily!

If you have any further questions, feel free to comment on this post or send us an ask and we’d be happy to answer to the best of our ability! We may not have all the answers, but we’re happy to share what we know. If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! Stay well, and have a great day!

#multiplicity #plurality #pluralgang #actuallyplural #long post #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #partial did #osdd #did #p did #switching #trauma mention #abuse mention

[a-weird-cryptid]

Exactly one week ago, I visited France for a day. I'm extremely bad at French, even though I've been learning it in school for 4 years by now. But when I saw this comic, I immediately fell in love with it and I just HAD to buy it.

So here's a little review of the graphic novel so far!

The art style is simple, yet gorgeous and really effective at expressing what's going on. And the colors are extremely vibrant, working together to create a wonderful harmony. Page one alone is a good example for that.

The story is, without spoilering too much, about a teenage girl going to a new high school, while struggling with mental health issues. Said, can be interpreted as undiagnosed DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). It shows real life issues and scenarios that people with this rare dissociative disorder can find themselves in. And it does that in a very simple and easy to understand way as well. (The fact that they used the main character's hair to be able to seperated the different alters by just looking at them helps a lot as well. Though canonically in the story they of course don't change) Even in French. But I think this comic is also available in English.

I really like to see that something like DID finally has some representation outside of movies like "Split". And I'd love to see more good representation like this comic. Because representation matters!

I can't objectively judge how accurate this representation is, though, since I'm not in a position to do so. But based of my own research, it's so far pretty realistic.

I'm about half way through it (no spoilers please!) and I'll prob review the second half when I'm done reading the comic. So far, these are my fav panels/pages.

(Little spoiler warning of course)

For anyone's who's interested about learning more about DID or mental health in general:

I can highly recommend watching Sci Show Psych, Patrick Teahan LICSW and, for German speakers, psychologeek. All of which can be found on YouTube and partly even other social medias.

And of course, reading scientific papers (using Google's filter option) about those topics or even the DSM-5 (which can be downloaded for free on the internet) can never hurt. Just make sure to use good and reliable source. And always be a bit sceptic when reading things on the internet.

Edit/Update (though I might include this since this post is still getting likes, etc): The second volume of Elles seems to be, from what I've heard, pretty misinformative about DID. For more on this, see this ask I answered.

For more reviews, discussions, original stories/series and more, check out my master list of series.

#can anybody tell me why the French have so many different beautiful looking comics in general? #like how dare they to write so gorgeous looking things in a language so hard to understand and learn? #if you think germans count weird you haven't seen how french people do it #wanna know what's 91? it's 'quatre vingt onze' literally transled 'four twenty eleven' #yes you read that right #they literally start doing maths at some point just to count stuff (4×20+11=91) #mental health #did osdd #comic books #art #elles comic #elle(s) #mental heath awareness #aveline stokart #kid toussaint

[kyliemoon3]

Why I love the Epsilon System (RvB)

I think the epsilon system from the series Red vs Blue is one of the greatest representations of Dissociative Identify Disorder in fiction (Spoliers for the show below). While obviously brought into science fiction, this is a fairly accurate representation of DID despite the fact that I'm not sure the creators did much research into the topic. So church or, the alpha, an ai based off the Director's mind, was tortured until he fractured. These fragments were then harvested by the director so he could have more than one AI unit.

So let's get the inaccuracies out of the way. The show seems to believe there is "the original" and that it is the alpha. The alpha is also as far as I know, an already fully developed mind. With actual DID, it only occurs in childhood as a result of trauma not letting the brain fully form into one cohesive self. So the parts of the brain essentially become more distinct. Honestly however I can see it being argued that the alpha is simply supposed to be the host, and that ai minds are different than human minds. Also Washington calls the disorder an outdated term that stopped being used a decade before the episode came out.

Okay that's it. Almost everything else is surprisingly accurate and now I get to gush about it! First of all, the fact that the entire thing happened because of the trauma the alpha endured is so amazingly accurate and ties both into the representation and the plot in an incredibly satisfying way. The ai fragments themselves are also quite accurate to the roles of DID alters, there is:

- A host, or an alter that is mainly out and in charge (Alpha)

- a factive, or an alter based on a real person (Beta)

- a persecutor, or an alter who attempts to harm the system in a misguided attempt at protection (I'd argue sigma, gamma, and omega)

- A little, or an alter that looks and acts like a child (Theta)

- A trauma holder, or an alter that holds some traumatic memories so the rest don't need to (epsilon)

- A protector, or an alter who keeps the system safe from harm (I'd argue delta)

On top of this beta and theta also represent alters of a different gender and age than the host respectively. And even something like alters dating can be seen through alpha and beta.

When talking with a friend about this he pointed out that eta represents fear and iota represents happiness. With that in mind and the fact we rarely see them, I believe they could act as internal caretakers by helping support the system. With eta supporting because they fear something bad might happen, and iota supporting because they want to spread happiness.

I also believe that both gamma and omega could, with more time, become reformed persecutors with them using their strengths to help the system rather than hinder it in their own way of helping. We already see this with epsilon relying on gamma occasionally when performing tasks. Omega has mostly been cartoonishly evil throughout the series and I think epsilon learning to accept and control omegas rage instead of holding it all back until he snaps would benefit the system.

Most of what we see of what the alpha system could've been if no fragments were taken is shown after all fragments but epsilon was destroyed in an emp blast. Epsilon uses his and the other fragments memories to create memory versions of them, acting just like them and letting them live on.

I love this because in most systems, there is a reason alters exist and they have a purpose that helps the system function in daily life. Epsilon while amazing, is much stronger when he has everyone else with him. He understood that this is what the alpha system should've been, and if he wants to do everything he can, having the other fragments with him is the best way to do it.

I have more to say, but I think I pretty much covered it. Epsilon-church and the other fragments are very well written and I can only hope we get a satisfying conclusion to their story in the next season. I'll also probably make a "why theta is the best ever of all time" post at some point too!

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb church #rvb epsilon #rvb theta #rvb delta #rvb alpha #rvb tex #did #osdd 1b #system