#i know thats something i can do to make people feel better. even if its just 1 person.

[simplyreveries]

Hi hi I just seen your new post and I came running.

Feel free to deny or anything like that. This is a platonic Diasomnia with a gn reader who sees Lilia as a father figure and is around Silver's age and sees Silver, Malleus, and Sebek as brothers.

diasomnia

they're already a pretty tightknit group and family with one another, it's no different with you around. in fact, I'd say they have more of a protective nature, that's usually with someone like malleus or silver even if it isn't always obvious-- they're always looking out for you in each of their own ways. whether or not you reside in ramshackle, diasomnia is basically your home now since you're there most of the time.

lilia is his typical playful self with you, but since you're so close you him, yes you are succumbed to eating his "meals" that he so graciously goes out of his way to make for you. I guess it's the thought that counts. but the number of times he has made you treats like a birthday cake on special occasions and it being awful is too many times to count. also, its canon i think that lilia cuts his own hair and does silvers... he will 100% try to do the same to you be warned. he will want to dye it too.

he also gets genuinely proud and praises for things you've done well in... he is so supportive. but he has this attitude of already knowing that you could do it anyway. with all of his energy around you he also can be completely comforting and consoling for any of your troubles. you literally cannot hide anything from him, he knows you too well enough to have you act like something isn't bothering you and making you upset. truthfully, he is so keen and observant he probably will already know what the issue even is- but he'll gently remind you to let it out and be open with him.

malleus is more of the quieter type around you, that looks quite intimidating whenever he is lurking beside you. but he is as doting as he can be to someone like you, he holds dearly. you're one of the few people, along with the others in your little circle of family in diasomnia. he considers it to be precious and very special to him. it's funny how he doesn't seem to react any indifferently if you wanted to something as uncharacteristic for him like you make flower crowns from the courtyard and putting them on him.

as i have mentioned, yes, he does have slight tendency to be protective of you- he certainly has told you some of his... distaste for anyone in the school when it comes to anything romantic for you. and for the love of all things, it better not be someone like leona. I'd genuinely love to thing about how that would play out.

I think silver shows his care for you in ways such as teaching you how to use a sword and defense. he looks out for you like that, he does enjoy having someone to train and practice with anyway. he is slightly awkward when it comes to doing things like giving advice, but he wants to look more respectable and someone you can look up to in your eyes. It's just... he is a sheltered guy who has spent his life living with faes he has no clue how to navigate most social things too. he IS someone who will listen to you always though even if he doesn't have the words.

he trusts you a lot and always asks you to make sure you help him stay awake during the day-- if you catch him dozing off you have permission to shake or nudge him awake. if its you thats dozing off he'll mumble something about you "not getting enough sleep" but he lets you have your peace around him.

you're like the only person who can somewhat get away with teasing or messing around with him. like he'll always react upset btu you still can do it. he slightly changes his negative views and annoyances with humans, you're like this exception he's felt along with silver. he'll still grudging call you human but its not with the amount aggression he may have with others haha. like silver, he enjoys practicing the sword with you, but its more of a challenge that he enjoys having.

he also forces you to study with him if he feels that you're struggling, he tries to make it not seem like he's looking out for you. he always chastises you for always getting caught up into trouble with the other first years like ace, deuce, and grim. may or may not think they're a bad influence sometimes when it comes to what they get themselves in.

#twst #disney twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst wonderland #LOL kinda long mb #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanons #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #silver twst #sebek zigvolt #twst imagines #twst hcs #not proofreadd

[theglitchywriterboi]

My advice to beginner writers

Here's a post of things you should know before you embark on your writing journey. [& this is for NEWBIE newbies - preemies even - still in the womb in face. Like the people who are in their "I really want to write a story but idk if I can"]

1: It's hard - for all of us its hard. You're not a shit writer for struggling to come up with an idea you like, or struggling to make the idea you like into something good. & it will be hard

2: While it's okay to restart, don't get too in your head. All first drafts are bad, don't worry if its not perfect - sometimes you just gotta move on & address it later [plus that time away working on the rest of the story gives you the space you may need to know what to do]

3: "How do I get better" Practice. Practice things you struggle with [For example: struggling with prose ? Write a story thats all/mostly prose.] practice things you don't even want to write [like if you're a sci-fi writer maybe experiment in western or something, as an example] give yourself word count limits [write a drabble [100 word story], 500 word short story, etc] no more, no less. write poems [even if you don't like poetry]. READ !!!! Read novels, novellas, fics, poems, etc etc. Read !!!! & Practice !!! Like any other sort of art, it take PRACTICE & TIME to get good at. & Have fun. Just enjoy telling your story.

4: Don't worry about "Is this a good idea for a book has this been done" Even if your idea is say, a prince who is dethroned so he has to mingle w/ commoners to fight for his throne back & save his kingdom & in doing so he learns that these are real people, even if 5 people have stories w/ that premise, you're all different writers - it'd turn out differently

5: Make writer friends. You don't have to post your work - it can just be for you if you want it to be. But you can learn a lot while being active in the writing community [& its also nice to have friends who understand what it's like to be a writer]

HHHHHHHH THAT'S ALL I GOT, I hope this is somewhat helpful, if anyone else has advice for people wanting to start writing feel free to add

#writeblr #writing #writer #writers #writing community

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

i think i have this fear of being seen as a liar i think. like. everyone does it. and as a kid i stole stuff all the time and the way that was dealt with kinda just fucked with my head. do people see my kindness and my compassion as manipulation? am i read as someone trying to tear down the walls so i can get something while ur guard is down?. idk why someone thinking that of me makes me feel so miserable like. what if they were right? ive made mistakes before.. whos to say they arent right about this time? i dont want to stop being kind but it scares me to think about that.

#im so different to all the people ive met. i know afew kindred spirits. 2 is in my cule and im dating the other #but idk. some part of me Long ago decided that i wanted to bring comfort to people. when i see how rough the world gets.. #i know thats something i can do to make people feel better. even if its just 1 person. #what else has there been in my life worth living for. aside from the company it brings and the growth i get to be part of. #i never got to be this kind. i never got to be treated this kindly before i transitioned. #idk. i guess this stuff just makes me think im doing something wrong. am i not supposed to try and make other happy if i seem like a trick? #to me this is what being a woman means for me. in so many ways... maybe thats why it being doubted hurts so much. #anyway.. my blood sugar is low. and its 2am. ily reader. i hope its not too much.

[magioffire]

as much as i appreciate all depictions of trans masc people in art, this isnt some kind of put down like omg you gotta draw ALL your art like this but... its honestly quite nice to see some trans masc characters that  have breasts  and are completely fine with that. like i get that top surgery scars have just become the visual short hand for ‘trans man/,masc’ character but thats not the reality for every trans masc person, not all trans masc people experience top dysphoria all the time, or even at all, and i feel like if we normalized the idea of breast tissue on men it would help to lessen the social stigma of men with breasts, cis or trans. i just love to see trans masc characcters who still have their breasts because its a reflection of the sort of trans experiences and bodies i am familiar with

#like seeing yourself in media is unendingly important #people who get to see themselves in media on a regular basis may not understand but seeing a character that looks like you #and isnt just a 'hahah fat tranny' joke that is actually extremely good for your mental well being #and you know...its part of the reason why i opted to make vali look the way he does because you know how many people #have come up to me expressing gratitude that someone would ever write someone who looked remotely like them #and wasnt just the butt of some cruel joke #and that they didn't really consider that it was possible for a character of this type to be considered desirable by fandom culture at large #because lez be honest fandom spaces can be very "pretty f/ggots only pls uwu' #again this isnt to put down anyone who DOES draw most of their trans characters with top surgery scars like #thats still important too i get really happy when i see art that includes that because its like the artist and i #are shaking hands like same hat #but even more so when i see a person or an experience that better reflects my own #where i had never seen it before treated with any reverance or respect #i wanna include that same feeling for others in my writing since i cant draw lmfaooo #to me thats the importance of diversity. not a brownie sticker you get to absolve you of being 'called out' #but something you do because you want to express and experience a fuller breth of human experience. not just the most acceptable versions #and help others see themselves in the art they consume #anyway thank u for coming to my ted talk #ooc. #tbd. #i hope this makes a single lick of sense lmfaooo #its 3 am leave me alone #im easily amused and also starving for content that gives me a single smidgen of shared life experience between trans people #this is why if you wanna see yourself in something..U GOTTA MAKE IT YOURSELF and u end up surprised at how many others were #also unknowingly looking for the same thing #and are like hey. thanks for that. i needed that. #and im like same bro :') #and tbf top surgery scars in art MIGHT be that for some people and i love that for them #but for me its seeing beautiful men who dont have 100 percent flat chests because that is apart of the trans male experience too #fuck just the male experience in general

[britneyshakespeare]

i hate that i've been complaining about everything in my life lately but if you're a frequent reader of my personal posts (side note, if you are: why. also i'm sorry) but if you remember earlier this week on tuesday i slipped outside and hurt my knee. i didn't end up seeing a doctor about that bc they literally had no openings when i talked to the secretary she was like i am so sorry sweetie. we can't take you for the rest of the week and i was like oh. and after a couple days it didn't hurt sooooo much although i think the limp ive been walking w has not been doing me any favors. but now today especially (? for some reason) BOTH of my legs were really hurting. i'm wondering if that might somehow be related to me getting my period today bc sometimes. you know how period pain can just end up wherever it wants. but then around 8 o'clock today i stubbed the SHIT out of one of my toes and i think i might have injured it (? i dont think it's broken but i cant stand on it and it's been hours). this is my left foot and the knee i hurt on tuesday was on my right leg. i am literally limping on both sides of my body now and i cant stand or walk.

#shout out to me being irritable with my family. sowwyyyyyy #EVERYTHING HURTS WHEN I TRY TO MOVE FROM PLACE TO PLACE #i dont know if i can handle seeing people tomorrow and it's Literally Christmas #i told kaily i wanted her to carry me to my bed earlier like im a little kid who fell asleep in the car and she said no :( #sisters are USELESS #tales from diana #menstruation cw #injury cw #maybe i shouldve gone to urgent care or the er about my knee earlier this week #i was starting to think i didnt seriously injure it but now im having doubts? or maybe i walked on it too much yesterday #i really was doing WAY too much walking yesterday but i kinda couldnt help it #my adhd body Wants To Move all the time even when i know i should be taking it easy #thats always been a problem w me whenever ive needed to limit my exertion. i just want to wander and fidget #i have a hard time staying still it makes me feel insanely unhappy #theres no better way to describe it #but i cant. move. now. sooooo #i dont know if i mightve broken my toe or not but its kinda swollen #how common is it to break a toe really? theyve got. theyve got a lot of little tiny bones #i dont know id think its more common to break a toe if you crushed it under something #i stubbed it. REALLY hard. like harder than even a normal really bad toe-stubbing. #i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. #can i have a wheelchair for christmas just for like a week at least #and get someone to carry me up and down the stairs?

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

#i was thinking abt it earlier #but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why #actually i do kinda know why. #i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me #earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject #too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i #was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often #especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d #everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just #cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even #consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural #but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other #peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something #something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they #move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less #sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can #always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response #and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone #it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything #not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i #feel like im not actually being heard or listened to #and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you' #or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore #god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it #for everyone else all the time #is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say #this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice #god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover #and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel #like they actually like me

[bittwitchy]

see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd #but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well #just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well #which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out #which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore #its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi #see the other thing is #if i talk about my mental health at all #people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint #or feel sorry for me which i also dont want #all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all #like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff #i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly #im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares #i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to #and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one #they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored #im losing my mind steadily #and thats not even onto the physical problems #but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying #‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket #if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your #fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces #sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues #but then i talk to other women and it is #it just doesnt make sense and i hate it #but i never rly got help on private insurance either so #tbd #depression cw

[ddeexxmm]

Its so joever for me bruh im 18 with no friends no job not in school no hobbies no goals no achievements

#whenever i go outside i feel so incredibly uncomfortable like everyone is staring at me and laughing at me i cant even walk normally #and i was legitametly getting stared at when i went to college so its not like im just paranoid or something #i probably am actually getting stared at and made fun of just like i was in college #i think i look worse then i think i do and that makes me so sad lol #i know im ugly but sometimes i see myself and think maybe i dont look TOO bad or at least when i lose weight i wont look so bad #but maybe im just irredeemably ugly and nothing can fix it #why else would people stare at me im unremarkable at best #im not tall or super underweight and i dont dress weird i do everything i possibly can to fade into the background #so why do people stare at me #the only logical answer is that im just incredibly ugly #so my life is basically just over lol #i know people dont want to talk to me but i figured it was just because im quiet so i pushed myself to be more talkative and outgoing #but obviously that didnt work so it must just be cause im ugly #thats why people stare at me #i guess if i get to a low enough weight at least the stares will be about my body and not my face #that would be a little better i think #when i was growing up all i hoped for was that i would live a normal life once i grew up #i dont even care about leaving a mark on the world or being some important person anymore #i just want to feel content with my life for once man #i havent been happy with myself or my life since i was twelve years old #all ive done since then is fail my parents and fail myself #i know im a disappointment to them no matter what they say ive seen theyre text messages and i see the way they treat me #im nothing but a waste of money and time #and to top it off i look like a fucking ogre #all i ever wanted was to be happy with myself. i cant even live up to my own expectations. #i will never amount to anything

[elegyofthemoon]

In the cool, plush core of the moon sleeps a mouse as we speak, dreaming of a world lush and green, then golden and undulating, then chopping and churning, a world of many surfaces with skies of many moods.

When it awakes, it will poke its tiny head out of a crater and bask in your glow as it does every morning. Here, all is still and silent. On that sparkling planet in the deep black distance, the sun seems capricious. But the mouse lives in the abyss of the body and therefore with a unique perspective on its essence. The mouse sees what other life does not see.

One needn't worry about unbecoming for the sake of containing a sun. Clouds may blanket the atmosphere of a planet, but still there burns a sun. The spots on the sun's surface may grow and shrink and shift, but still there it burns. And if one decides to cool it down like a waning flame or expand it in a cataclysmic supernova, still there it burns, and one has the right to revoke the state of their existence and become new.

Because perhaps the truth is you are not the sun--not alone--but it is rather a part of you. Your body is the solar system, each planet a world within the body, and each knows this glow in different ways. Some are nurtured by its warmth, others by its distance. Regardless of the sun's changes, they stay the course encircling it.

The universe cannot be held back, harnessed, fully comprehended. It pulls at the seams of solar systems as it pulls on its own seams. In that unstoppable shifting, we stumble. Sometimes it feels like our love and light slips from our fingers, shattering irrevocably in our falls. But what makes us cannot be seperated from us, even in times where our essence is obscured.

There is always another life to appreciate your life, no matter what happens. And in the least, there is always a little mouse in you that understands you in telescopic clarity and offers forgiveness for every change--no matter what, right into the end of time.

❤

#answered #this was sitting in my inbox for a little while #and i wanted to answer properly but i fear that responding back is a little...hard #not that i dont want to its more like this was so prettily written and just so beautiful i fear if i responded id just ruin it lol #so im responding in the tags bc i feel better about doing that #i appreciate whoever decided to write all this up and leave it here for me it means a lot #more vent in the tag #not really vent but ig just reflective i suppose with the last week: #i think i may have actually talked about it before but you have no idea how happy i am with just. the people im surrounded with these days #because even if im going through something ill always push my feelings down in order to make someone else happy #because idc what happens to me overall. if i can make someone else happy thats all that matters #but ik a lot of people take advantage of it so when something bad happens when im unable to help someone they used to get mad at me for it #so more reasons to kinda push my feelings aside to cater to them etc etc etc #but i think the past week has been nice too in realizing that the people around me are patient and just overall kind -- not really expectin #much of me #ig theres this understanding that we all have busy lives now and maybe thats just the gift of maturity as a whole #even if im not the super positive or comforting presence people put me as at least people still care and thats how i know im loved at least #ig in a way this ramble is just a very big thank you to everyone for that #theres a lot of kindness and warmth in this ask that i appreciate and only want to spin back to friends. i hope they can feel it #or that it reaches them #anons #kind messages

[cherry-shipping]

this is like the most niche thing ive ever imagined with an f/o but i like thinking that papyrus could call my bluffs really easily when no one else can. specifically UMM self care and health bluffs? i dont really lie about it. i just intentionally leave stuff out so people dont worry? like, if someone asks "have you eaten today?" ill be like "oh yea i ate before i came here! ^_^" but then i tactfully leave out the part where the only thing i ate was, like, a piece of candy i found on my floor or something and prior to that i hadnt eaten for a week, and things of that nature. and people never ever realize when im bluffing which is convenient for me but obviously Bad in general, but. i like imagining that paps of all people can just sort of innately Tell when im hiding something or skewing the truth just a little bit

#because hes SMART!!!!!!!!! and GOOD AT READING PEOPLE!!!!!!! #so far the only other person whos learned that i DO bluff (even if she doesnt call them naturally) is my school counselor #thats only because i told her about how i bluff a lot. so now she kinda questions whatever i say about my own health LOL #we were talking about my arfid at one point and i said how mama wants me to go see a professional about it #and i told her id declined because while my situation wasnt ideal it wasnt THAT bad and wasnt dangerous to my health #and she was like ok so how often do you eat #and i had to be like. umm. Sometimes. #and after like 5 minutes of pushing she got me to admit i ate maybe once a week (ITS BETTER NOW THOUGH!!!!) #and she was like. ok so i think maybe your definition of whats 'dangerous' to your health isnt normal at all. #anyway i imagine paps would be like that except i DONT have to tell him. he just kind of knows when im leaving stuff out #this is also so unique to papyrus nobody else can tell not even sans despite his skill of reading faces #blegh. i think the day im like fully open and honest with my life and how i feel is the same day jesus comes back or something #cherry chats #hes also good at prying in a way where i dont feel like shit. idk how to explain it but like umm #when ive been in situations where people have pushed me until im forced to guiltily admit i was leaving stuff out i feel bad #not only because they called my bluff and learned i was (almost) lying to them but also it makes me feel bad about myself #but i think hed never make me outright say it #since he just Knows hes also able to come up with ways to bring it up without atcually saying it out loud #he knows that i know that he knows etc etc etc #AND ALSO HES UNRIVALLED WHEN IT COMES TO MANIPULATING PEOPLE INTO DOING WHAT HE WANTS (IN A NICE WAY)!!!!!!!!!!! #SO IF ANYONE CAN GET ME TO EAT ITS HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #hes so smart. he just tricks people into doing stuff for their own benefit and they hardly ever realize it #hes my BEST FRIEND FOREVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333

[n0ct0urn1quet]

hgonesly at this point i really do wish i could just say Fuck It and disappear off the face of the earth for a little bit bc honestly . i donot want to be alive

#2023 off to a banger start for me (got into an argument with my mom on new years about her bf reminding me of my abusive dad #and havent had peace or a good nights sleep since!!!!!!!!!!!) #i am absolutely fucking miserable and i just donot want to Do It anymore #i hate this house i hate the people i live with i hate this world and i hate everything thats happening to jme but i cant do anytihing #i cant do anything to Fix Anything i cant do anything abt my problems theres just so much Wrong With Me that i dont know how to fix #i dont know if i CAN fix most of the issues i have. i have so much ptsd and trauma from so many different things and its all just. hghg #and i want so badly to just let it out and talk to the people Around Me about it bc it is Serious and i shouldnt be just not talking about #it but. i just cant bring myself to Do That. i am constantly afraid that the people around me will be angry with me if i even so much as #speak up about the things that make me upset and its not their fault and its no ones fault but my own and i just dont know what to Do #im scared of confrontation and im worried that if i try to talk about it its gonna lead to an argument!!! i know it wouldnt but im terrifed #so id rather just not talk about it. which then leads to the problem not getting resolved because. fuck man im sure the people around me #know that somethings up but i never bring it up so therefore they never find out and it gets swept under the rug like all my other issues #i pride myself on being good at being emotional and being open but in reality i am emotional. yes. but not at all good at being open #ive never been good at it and i feel so BAD because like. yes i love you. yes i trust you and i know you would never ever be mad at me #for just talking about my feelings. i know this and i love you for it. but im so bad at conveying that. even though i trust you with mylife #im just bad at opening up. it does not matter how long we've known each other its just such a struggle for me to Be Open to anyone #of course its not much better that im coming to tumblr and puttign this here for 100+ people to see but just. i dont know #im mentally unstable ive never had good coping mechanisms and im the only person awake and everyone else that i usually vent to is asleep #so all my thoughts just get piled up into one messy little ball and it gets thrown to tumblr because i need somewhere to put them #im sorry. im exhausted. its been a long week and i wish i could just hybernate for the rest of the month and not interact with anyone #i just wish i could mvoe out and live with my gf and our cat. that is all i want and that is the only thing that would fix me

[vilelittlecritter]

I hate when I'm trying to enjoy something and then I turn around and there's a hoard of gatekeeping assholes going

"THAT PERSON ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING SUPER CONTROVERSIAL 8 YEARS AGO AND IF YOU LIKE THEIR CONTENT YOU SHOULD GO STRAIGHT TO HELL BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES YOU AND YOUR INTERESTS ARE SHIT"

Like nice as if I wasn't already self conscious about letting myself just enjoy a piece of media which has helped me cope through my increasingly declining mental health because I'm scared of coming across as "cringe" or "weird" because I've forced myself into this mindset that I need to constantly be super mature which has led me to just straight up not be able to just enjoy doing things.

I'm tired, feel nauseous and angry and I just want to enjoy something and not feel like I shouldn't enjoy it at all.

#this is indeed about omori #like sure if omocat has done some horrible shit recently that's fair but if they did i can just enjoy the game but not support them #i play omori on gamepass so im not exactly paying them im paying Microsoft. i could be wrong about how that works but still #and even then as far as i know the worst they've done is some weird tweets from like 2011 which they got called out on at the time #and when they did they apologised and again as far as i know they haven't done anything like it since #you know i could be talking out my ass and i probably am but im just upset okay #i love omori and its been a coping mechanism for me while ive been dealing with my mental health and seeing it get bashed kinda hurts #of course im not saying if you dont like the game or omocat you should feel bad. absolutely not if tou have an opinion on omori thats fine #its just some people just go way to far with it and it makes me feel like i should feel bad about just enjoying a game #why the fuck am i writing this. nothing im saying is making sense and i just sound dumb ass fuck #you know what fuck this post if your reading it please fo do something better with your time im just having a dumb ass moment

[bargledblocks]

Every time someone complains about a genre of fic (i.e. superhero au's) I make 5 more just to piss them off.

The reason for this is because their takes always reek of entitlement to people's hobbies and free time and they always demand for something "different" instead of realizing that a story someone isn't actually passionate about would be way more shit than one they like despite it being a genre you personally have grown bored with <3

#the blocks yell #Like I'm sorry but so many of y'all have been blessed with copious amounts of fic that isn't highly saturated by a ship #and I'm sorry but loosing a couple of fics by filtering them out really is not that bad #go into a different popular fandom and find the biggest ship and filter out the most popular ship or all ships and watch how fucking low #the fic count gets. Stop acting so entitled. #And that's not to say shipping is bad! It can be really really fun! But the idea of 'over saturation' in this fandom has become so skewed! #But don't complain becaus You Personally want something different. If you want something different then write it yourself! #And don't try and come at with a 'But I can't write!' do you know how many people Start Out writing fics? This day in age its a fucking lot #So get out there and make the stories you wanna see because until you do? Nobody else is gonna. Nobody else has your exact artistic vision #They can't do it like you. #And if one day you get to the point where you still like the story but don't like how you wrote it? Write it again! #Make it bigger and better! Use the old version as the first draft or even a really comprehensive outline! #And if you Don't like it anymore and don't feel any passiin for it then thats fine! You can let it sit because the thing is? #One day someone is gonna read that story and it'll be their absolute favorite thing in the world! #They might even make their own based off of it. Wouldn't that feel Good? Having someone love something you made so much that they create #something of their own. Despite the flaws you may now see? #Anyway. That was kind of a lot but if you can't tell I have a lot passion for this subject. #But just remember: fic writers make things to have fun. We don't get paid for what we do and yet we share it for free! #You accomplish nothing by whining about somethings success despite not having tried for yourself. Now go write a and have some fun #big rants at buildmart #<- also look i have a tag for these now

[postalplants]

I dunno... I wish I could explain to people how I see the world and how some things about my world view could help them through what they're going through...

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a paragon of mental health or balanced thinking. I'm not. There are just some things and ways that I think that are healthy and useful skills.

#i dont know who i am right now. i feel more like veronica than kk... #anyways. as a system. there are ways that we look at the world. #like taking responsibility for our own actions and holding ourselves accountable for them. sure thats partly trauma but its partly healing #its so hard sometimes for us to not point out how helpful it would be for someone to stop & look at what theyve contributed to a #negative situation. because life is complicated and people are complicated. #and sometimes admitting that i did a shitty thing that hurt someone to that person AND to MYSELF is what it takes to repair things. #sometimes it hurts to admit to myself that i did something awful or even just kind of dickish. but i do. #and i dont know. i think its partly a self-humbling that comes with vulnerability but its also this... #honesty exercise. like. if you cant be honest with yourself then you cant grow as a person. #and i can be so angry at and hurt by someone and STILL say Yes I Did Something Wrong too. #and nobody read this and think im talking about abusers because im not. #if its an abuser situation then dont try to fix anything just try to survive and escape. #but on that note! lol. this has also helped me not feel guilty for being abused. #taking responsibility for MY actions and holding myself accountable for MY actions has made it easier for me to let go of responsibility #for things that other people say and do including when its shit that hurts me. #i dont feel guilty for things my abusers did even if i did something that triggered it or led to it bc they CHOSE to abuse me. #they didnt have to. but what they did isnt my responsibility. disobedience doesnt require abuse. my responsibility is what came after. #do you see what i mean? how that frees me? #and in doing this and getting better at it its almost like im getting better at seeing whats actually my fault and responsibility #and its making it easier to set boundaries because i see my responsibilities and needs vs how others actions affect me #you see? #yeah...

[biteapple]

my former therapist told me "everything you are and become and will be is something learned; you cant be something if you didn't learn it somewhere. nothing is inherent about anyone, except for something genetic" and honestly it is still messing with me on some level

#like i knew this technically but it still doesnt feel right. something about that feels wrong to me #its for everything like. good and bad about a person #but it gives me this sense of wanting to go back and find the original. does that make sense #if everyone learns something somewhere .. who was the first to do it. and why did it happen that way #yknow what i mean? i imagine this progenitor of all things good and evil about a person #i think the answer to this question is: does that matter? and.. i dont know that it does #like .. can it be quantified? no. but thats the same for most everything thats personal qualia like that #maybe what matters is who YOU learned it from. and what happened to have that occur. and what it means to you #but i still dont like that interpretation of personhood. even if its like scientific and true and shit or whatever. #makes me feel mechanical and not in control of myself instead of someone who's organic and can make my own decisions about my life #but i mean like. i taught people stuff yknow. we all do. right. but like. idk. it makes me feel like im not my own person #and maybe its like. part of wanting to ''feel special''. but i dont like the limelight. i think im really an average joe #i just want to feel like i have control of myself and who i am. and thats why my name feels like its so important to me. yknow what i mean #like i have to think about it a lot. but when nothing about me is original or inherent .. then i feel like im like. nothing #but i guess its like throwing stones or something. not the first stone thrown right. not the first stone in this pond #not the first with this composite. and not the last #but someone threw you that day and you landed somewhere and you eroded this way and you tumbled that way. and you're you #you're like every apple that grows right. not the first on this tree or in that soils or by that farmer. #not the first apple grown under the sun. but you grew and someone eats you #not the first apple eaten by this person. but you got snacked on then and there. and thats what matters about it right. #like whats happening right now. what am i doing about it instead of trying to do something out of my control about the nature of being #wow. i made myself feel better. thanks for reading

[dxsertrot]

Actually everything has been too complicated and now that the sun is out I've decided that everything is actually easier than I thought and nothing has to hurt me unless I let it

#drinking coffee and smoking in the sun after a decent day of work #i got to work ot this weekend and do a tough job and the day after i hiked w my mom and ran along the beach w the dog #the longer i keep myself away from the narrative the more further removed and at peace i feel #although sometimes its somewhat distrupted when i see them but i reel it back in real quick #it just feels good to know that i dont have to let anyone in and that i have my people and thats all i need #im goung to carry myself the rest of the way through like i always have #and i dont need anyone elses validation #things will come to me when im ready and its right #if i dont want someone to hurt me then i simply dont have to allow them to hurt me #and if i hurt them then oh well. i need to protect my peace and my self esteem #i have things that i would like to work out but i need to accept that everything i want to have happen i cant make happen #ive been through too much and worked too hard and loved too hard and learned too much to let things like this touch me anymore #my self perception cannot hinge on anyone anymore because only i know what ive done and seen and felt and thought in every momemt of my lif #and how i look is not a solid descripter of all the aspects of me #it is not the bulk of my humanity it is hardly a grain of sand #im not angry or sad im just indifferent and ready for something better and healthier and more secure #and the things and people that i can have by relying on my looks do not hold much value anyways #besides. i am pretty. and im healthy and im good w my money and i laugh w my belly and i know a fuck of a lot more than i ever thought #and ive done more than i ever anticipated #i have a lot of things to be so okay with that i shouldnt even have to think about it #and the fact that i ever do is a luxary not given to the bulk of humanity #ive had the privledge to love many times and learn the lessons that accompany losing #and the privilege to make my own decisions and have my own priorities #i have the time and money to worry about frivolous things just like ive had the same to experience some really cool things #i am full of energy and opportunity and love and i get to decide when and where i want to direct that #if i direct it in a place that leave me feeling sad and empty and confused i can put my focus elsewhere unless i deem it worthy enough to #work at #and when ive poured too much in and got too little back ill know to reframe things #its not that complicated and its not that messy #it just is whatever i make it out to be and im tired of making everything out to be more and allow it to define me