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morskisir · 1 month

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The public is VERY interested in your Sniper thoughts. Please, I need them. Phobias? Eating habits? Can he dance? *Should* he? Is he aware when he makes direct eye contact he looks scary af? Is he good at poker or does he not even play?

You are one of my strongest followers o7 THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS!!! I will answer them all individually below.

Phobias?

If we're talking about proper phobias and not fears in general, then he doesn't really have any? UNLESS you count social phobia, which, yeah, he's got that. (I would like to clarify social phobia and social anxiety disorder are different things but he's got both of them, so.)

Social phobia is like, specific social situations that will continuously bring you anxiety/fear. The shit that will have him shaking every single time is a person genuinely trying to get to know him. Even a simple question such as "What's your favourite colour?" could set him off into a state of anxiousness. He LOATHES conversations like that, he wants to be left alone, he's not anyone you should pay attention to, he's not interested in doing this, go away. His fear of being known past the point of "professional assassin" is deep and greatly impacts his life. What the fuck are social relationships am I right?

Another social situation would be: phone calls! You can imagine how nice it is for him to only be able to call his parents when he isn't visiting them at their home in Oz. <3 It's the fear of I cannot see this person and I don't know how they're really reacting to this. He already isn't the best at reading people's faces, phone calls are just another level of hell.

2. Eating habits?

MEAT. MEEEAAAAT- if he could get away with only eating meat the rest of his life he fucking would. Alas, meat doesn't give your body all of the fuel it needs. Heartbreaking. (Not for me I dislike meat sdgkhdskg)

He will still insist on having meat in every fucking meal, and do not, do NOT make a steak that isn't at least a little bit raw. This guy's an animal. Give him his blue steak or he'll think your cooking is shit.

Anyways, I wouldn't say he eats a lot. He eats enough, I guess. Cunt's just running on a lot of coffee + a couple of cigarettes. He's more addicted to caffeine than tobacco.

3. Can he dance?

No. I don't know if Australian schools did this, let alone in his time, but if they did: he would skip every single P.E. class where they would do dancing instead of just chucking some ball around. He is SCARED he doesn't want to be in such close proximity with someone else hksdgkj (except Spy) (who said that) He doesn't have interest in learning how to dance, either. If he's drunk and you somehow get him to dance you'll see a horrible, non-existent dance move.

4. Should he?

No. Spy would beg to differ.

5. Is he aware when he makes direct eye contact he looks scary as fuck?

Yes and no. When he stares at someone on purpose to scare them away- it works! It's reliable! He's aware of the power that stare holds! He just doesn't realise he kind of always looks like that. The Stare(tm) is simply even more intense. There is a great darkness in his eyes........... /ref

6. Is he good at poker or does he not even play?

He can play it! He's only really decent at it- it's not his thing. Only really learned how to play it through peer pressure. (there is lore to this, but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

Scout begs Sniper to play with him and he very begrudgingly accepts because no one else does hdsghj. He is very bored and would rather read his tracking books, but he cannot escape the ADHD. (You call out the smallest act of sympathy he just did and he'll beat the shit out of you)

^ Scout when he wants to play poker

#ask #tf2 #sniper #sniperspy mention wow!!! unexpected!!!#nishart

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sarcastiaa · 18 days

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𝓝𝓪𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓲 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓸’𝓼 𝓦𝓪𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓢𝓱𝓸𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓐𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 2

I wrote a part 2 as some of you wanted! Thank you for loving the part 1.

♡ On the days when you’re sick and he’s working from home, he’d sit on the bed next to your sleeping body and work on his laptop. When he looks at you, he would simply turn his laptop off for a moment and stare at you, admiring your beauty even though you’d call yourself a mess at that time. He’d like to admire you and your beauty even when you feel the worst about yourself, you drooling during sleep, your messy morning hair, your thighs and stretch marks that you hate, he’d look at them, kiss on them and admire them everyday.

♡ He knows you have ADHD and you can’t focus properly while talking to him or doing anything. So when he has to tell you something important or wants to talk to you about something he’d take you to the bed and make you sit while he’d go to the dresser and bring one of your nail polish. He’d sit in front of your feet and paint your nails while talking to you and that’s his way of making you focus on him and the conversation. You’d see him sitting on the floor painting your nails and all you can do at that time is to caress your hand on his hair and talk to him. He knows how to control you <3

♡ Kento would sit and stare at the ring on his finger. The wedding band. He likes to hold your hand while you sleep just to feel your little hand on his and to listen to the sound of both of your wedding bands clinking. That sound was his second favorite, first was always when you moaned his name~

♡ After having steamy nights with Kento, you’d find yourself lay on the bed, tired unable to move. Kento would bring washcloths to clean you up on bed and then he’d change the sheets before sleeping as well. He’d do anything to give you the rest after all of that.

♡ Before getting married, Kento would occasionally call you “Wife” just to see your reaction. The way your cheeks and the tip of your ears used to get rose pink, the way you squinted your eyes while smiling, the way you looked away and your hair flipped with the turn on your head, he’d enjoy that. Now he’d call you “Mommy” occasionally to make you feel the same way. The way he said “Mommy” is not sexual, he initiated it as his baby’s mom.

♡ Kento would secretly take pictures of you when you’re zoned out, working or doing something and he has a whole folder in his phone called “My Love ❤️” where he keeps them. At work when he feels frustrated or tired he’d open his gallery and go through that folder to see you and to remind himself at the end of the day you’re at him waiting for him.

♡ Kento rarely calls you by your name. It’s always “Sweetheart”, “darling”, “love”, “my girl”, “my princess” or something that he uses and that makes you fall for him over and over again.

♡ When you’re standing in front of the mirror after shower trying to dry your hair with a towel, Kento would make you sit in front of the mirror and plug the dryer. He’d tell you how you shouldn’t always leave your hair half dry cuz you get sick easily. Then he’ll use the dryer on your hair while giving you little lectures on how you should always take care of yourself.

♡ Kento would look at you standing in front of the mirror and hug you from the back making out feel safe in his arms then he would rub his hands on your belly and remind you how beautiful your body would look when you’d be pregnant with his child. He’d just rest his head on your shoulder and look at you and him on the mirror for minutes.

♡ When he’s turned on he can’t really ask for it or say it to you. Instead he’d just start acting clingy or poking you. He’d stare at your face or just randomly kiss you on your neck, put his hands on your waist and squeeze it tightly. And after being with him for so long you’d understand what he wants or what he’s initiating. You would just look at him with a smile and drag him to the bedroom and slam the door close knowing things would get even better from there.

♡ On an arcade date when you see one specific teddy bear and told him you wanted that, you would see him putting all of his heart and money out to get that one teddy bear. You’d go around the arcade playing other games while he’d be stuck with that one claw machine until he gets the teddy for you.

♡ Kento would never tell you to not wear revealing dresses even when it bothered him a little. He would simply just try to cover or walk in front of you when he notices some men staring at your cleavage or he’d just make you hold something on purpose and give excuse like he needs to tie his shoe or something. So that you move looking towards him and the men pass by without staring at you. He believes he’s taller and stronger than anyone so even if anyone stares at you or bugs you he’d always be there ready to fight.

Part 1:

#jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #nanami kento #nanami x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #nanami smut #nanami x y/n #nanamin #nanami fluff #nanami x you #jujutsu nanami #jjk nanami #jujutsu kaisen nanami

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sagittarianpocky · 8 months

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Heaven | Zamasu X Fem!Human!Reader.

First time posting my work on here. Um, hello. On a Zamasu binge right now.

Porn with very slight plot. And some fluff, but it's Zamasu, so, you know. I just like writing things that are self indulgent, and he deserves more love. Also not spell checked. We die like men, and spell checking with ADHD is practically impossible anyway. And it’s written in first person pov because I suck at second person. Otherwise. Enjoy, I guess.

Rating: NSFW. 18+. Obviously.

Word count: 3,095

Summary: Zamasu gets... a little jealous that another mortal dared to flirt with his special human.

“I’ve never seen you so nervous.”

To have a Supreme Kai staring you down - it’s a harrowing experience. Especially because it was Zamasu. Gray, hungry, narrowed eyes were staring directly through my own, going all the way down into the depths of my soul. He was standing mere inches from me. We’d been having a discussion, which was absolutely normal, but I brought up the fact that some random dude on the street had asked for my phone number in passing. That’s when he first got that look in his eye, his voice got lower, and I could see that something was brewing within the darkest corners of his mind.

“Zamasu.” My voice came out quiet and weak, almost like a stutter. “What’s gotten into you?”

His fingertip just barely touched my chin, tilting my head up toward his own. I had to look at him, no matter how flushed my face was getting. He wasn’t much taller than me, but it was just enough for him to be intimidating. The height difference made me feel small and helpless, but in the depths of my own mind, I didn’t hate the feeling. And I think he knew that. “The idea that any of these barbaric, uncivilized mortals could believe, even for one moment, that they have the right to someone as divine as you is absolutely revolting.”

I backed up a little. Just one step, but he followed suit. I responded, “That’s… why I told him no.”

“As you should.” A smirk was pulling at the corner of his lips. “Do the same with everyone who dares to ask for even a sliver of your affection.”

I blinked a few times, and I felt his thumb brush my jaw. “I… don’t understand. What is this about? You know how I feel about people, so-“

“What I am saying… is that there is but one being who is worthy of you.”

I swallowed roughly. “… Who?”

“Me.”

The response came out so commanding, as if it were the absolute truth. My breath caught in my throat. His stoic, never-changing expression told me that he wasn’t lying. “You… want me? But I’m…”

“A mortal? Ah, no. You’re a…special case.” His hand rested on my cheek, and his thumb brushed my lower lip. He usually had a confident aura, but now, it was penetrating through my soul. Paralyzing me. “I’m surprised it took you so long to notice. Mortals do tend to be quite oblivious, so I won’t take offense.”

“You… want me.” That came out barely audible, more repeating it so I could believe it myself. It made him smirk. My eyes couldn’t leave his, but I noticed him take a quick glance at me. My body, more specifically. “In, um… what ways?”

He moved centimeters closer as he confessed, “in all ways, darling. If that’s alright with you.”

“Wouldn’t that… break rules?”

“Supreme Kai law? Perhaps.” He brushed a piece of hair from my face. “But you of all people should know that I care little for those old-fashioned doctrines.”

“I see.” A brief silence ensued until I whispered back, “then, it’s alright with me.”

“Are you sure?” That came out almost teasing. “Once you start, there’s no going back. I’m sure you’re aware.”

“…I’m sure.”

He smirked in such a feral way that it exposed one of his fangs. “Good. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, my dear.”

That’s when his lips met mine. It startled me, but at the same time, I melted. I melted at such a quick rate that I couldn’t believe it. He pushed me against the wall, hands sliding down my sides. When I started to reciprocate, it was like all inhibitions were thrown to the wayside. His body was right against mine, and his tongue snaked right into my mouth. He tasted… like cedar. I wasn’t sure how to explain. A sap, more bitter than honey, but still retaining an intoxicating sweetness. On top of that, he was kissing me like he hadn’t had a taste of physical contact like this in hundreds, if not thousands of years. Then he pulled back and laughed to himself, murmuring, “exquisite. Even better than I imagined.”

I was trying to catch my breath. “You’ve… been thinking about this?”

“Of course I have. You invaded my thoughts. Thoughts of grandeur being tainted with thoughts of desire. I tried so hard to resist, but I can no longer do so.” His hand was sneaking underneath my shirt, but I was too enamored with his eyes to look down. “I’ve wanted nothing more than to see you for everything you are. To devour you. To make you mine.”

With that, he began to kiss me again. I knew how privileged I was. To be in such close contact with a Supreme Kai - a being like Zamasu - no other being in the universe would be given the opportunity. His hand was slowly pulling my shirt up, and then he separated from me to remove it entirely. My face grew red because I knew he was checking me out, but again, it made me feel small. Finally, he said, “come here.”

He pulled me toward my bed and he sat down on the edge. He spun my back toward him and pulled me onto his lap, guiding me to straddle one of his legs. With my back against his chest, I could feel his breath against my neck. His hands were sliding up my bare thighs, then to my hips, and then up to my chest. With ease, he undid the clasps, and my bra slid to the ground. Why he didn’t bother with my skirt was beyond me, especially when he turned my face to his. He whispered, “You are simply divine, darling.”

He didn’t give me a chance to speak. His lips met mine and his hands groped my chest. I couldn’t help it - seeking friction, my hips rolled against his thigh. What pained me more was the fact that he was still fully clothed. I couldn’t get as much as I desired. When he started teasing my nipples, I could tell that he was playing with me, much to his own amusement. When he started pinching them, I moaned into his mouth. It was shameless. He pulled back from my lips, and diverted his attention to my neck. Kissing and nipping at my skin, my body was reacting exactly how he wanted. He was chuckling to himself. Embarrassingly, it was almost too much, even though he’d done so little. I groaned, “Zamasu…”

I could feel his body tense as he said, “oh, that was marvelous. I’ve never heard anyone say my name like that before.”

He bit the side of my neck hard, triggering another groan. He would bite every sensitive spot he could find. One of his hands moved to my hip, guiding them in the same pattern they’d been grinding in, just with more force. I whimpered, mentally noting that I should’ve guessed he’d be some sort of sadist that liked to play with his food.

I heard him smirk as he said, “a sadist? I suppose so. Playing with you is far too much fun.”

I blushed hard. I would often forget that Kais could read minds, and I had no doubt that he’d been reading mine the entire time. I felt his hand slide underneath my skirt, moving dangerously close to the area that most of my body heat was gathering in. My hips bucked toward his hand, which made him laugh. “So reactive. Would you like me to do something?”

Even the tone of his voice was enough to make my body hotter. “I… need you to touch me.”

“You’ll need to elaborate, sweetheart. Tell me what you want.”

As he said that, his fingers inched closer. One of his fingertips was just barely grazing my clit through my panties. “I need… your fingers.”

“Where, darling?”

My hips bucked against his hand which made me blurt out, “in me. Please.”

“That’s a good girl. I suppose I can oblige.” He pressed a surprisingly gentle kiss against my neck, and he took no time when picking me up and placing me down on the bed. The skirt was an easy thing to unzip and pull off, and my panties went with it, falling to the floor. His eyes were dark as he removed his overcoat, hanging it over the chair at my desk. He climbed over me with a predatory gaze as he mumbled, “oh, Gods, you are absolutely heavenly.”

That’s when I felt his hand touch my core. He explored everything with his fingertip, giving me a light kiss as he did so. He pulled back, leaving his lips brushing against mine as he looked down. “To think you could get this worked up so quickly… that’s sinful, darling. I’ve barely started.”

I tried to respond, but he pressed two fingers into me with absolute ease. He drove them into me as far as they could go, and he held them there, prompting me to try to move my hips. “Ngh, Zamasu-“

“Needy, are you?” He pulled his fingers back, and then pushed them into me once more, making me bark out a sound that resembled a groan. The smirk on his face told me that he was loving every second of this. I squirmed. He was holding his hand still. Then, he whispered, “I’m sure you can be louder than that. I suppose I’ll find out, won’t I?”

Only then did he begin to move his fingers. At a slow, but steady pace, always forceful when pushing them back in. He liked the way my body would jerk, and he liked the way my face would contort. I could hear it in his breath, which was getting deeper and more husky by the minute. Then, he curled his fingers, which made me groan his name again. It made him chuckle. “Yes, beautiful. Do it again.”

His fingers quickened in pace. My back arched up, pressing me against him. He kissed me. My fingers were gripping the sheets, and I felt him add a third finger. The stretch sent heat shooting through my body. It made my toes curl. It made my breathing go rapid, to the point where he pulled back just to watch me squirm beneath him. Finally, I mewled, “Zamasu… I… I’m gonna…”

And just like that, his fingers stopped. The high I was desperately seeking faded away, leaving me speechless. And he was smirking darkly as he slowly withdrew his fingers from me. When I was about to complain, he shushed me. “No, darling. You need to be patient. That was simply just to prepare you. Do you understand?”

I nodded shakily, every urge to complain fading away. I quietly responded, “Yes. I understand.”

“Good girl.” I felt him press a gentle kiss to my forehead. He whispered, “Now, give me a moment. Relax.”

I felt him move off the bed. My head was spinning. Not just from orgasm denial, but from his sudden shifts in demeanor. He could go from cruel to sweet in the blink of an eye. I was trying to catch my breath, staring at the ceiling through lidded eyes as I listened to fabric moving around. Then, I felt him crawl back over me, once again rubbing his thumb on my cheek. “Feeling alright, darling?”

I nodded, leaning into his touch. “Yes.”

“Good.” He brushed hair out of my face. He looked so… nice. Genuine, like he usually did. “Now, I need you to move up just a bit. Can you do that?”

I nodded, slowly pulling myself toward the top of the bed. He urged me along until my head was resting atop a pillow, and then he moved atop me. That was the first time I felt his bare skin against mine. It was strangely cold, and it sent a shiver down my spine. He kissed me passionately, hips pressing into my own. I could feel his length rubbing along my core, which made my lips quiver. He pulled back from the kiss and said, “I’m going to ravage you now, darling. Are you ready?”

I nodded quickly, hesitantly folding my arms behind his neck. He allowed me to touch him without question or protest. Then, his forehead pressed against mine as he slowly slid himself into me. We both let out a groan at the same time, and the farther he pressed himself in, the more my mouth fell agape. My hands grabbed at his skin, and he once again hushed me. “I know, sweetheart. It’s a bit of a stretch for you, isn’t it? But I have no doubt you can take it.”

“Oh, God…” I whimpered that with tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. When he was fully sheathed within me, I was holding onto him for dear life as my body adjusted. I had no idea what the anatomy of a Kai was like, but something like this was completely unexpected. I could see him sweating, using every fibre of his being to hold himself back until I was ready. Finally, I let out a deep exhale and said, “you… can move. Go ahead.”

He wasted no time. He pulled himself almost all the way back out, and then pressed himself back in. He did it again and again at a slow pace. On his face was a look of pure ecstasy as he acquainted his body to mine, and then his eyes stared down at me. He leaned back just enough to push one of my legs up against my torso, and at that moment, I knew I was quite literally fucked. As he stared down at me, he said, “This… is a sight I could very much get used to.”

I didn’t get much time to look at his physique before he started driving himself into me down to the hilt. The whines and groans that were pouring out of my mouth were loud and lewd, my hands searching for anything and everything to grab ahold of. The pace he was moving at was forcing me upwards with every thrust, and he looked like he was in a state of complete bliss. It didn’t take long for me to be pushed over the edge, which made him groan in a way that could’ve made me do it again if I had the physical ability. I saw him smirk as he said, “Gods, that was amazing. I wonder how many times I can make you do that?”

I saw an idea flash past his eyes, and he was quick to remove himself from me before turning me onto my stomach. He grabbed my hips, pulling them upwards with a feral look in his eyes. I was looking back at him as he plunged himself into me once again, taking up the same brutal pace as before. He leaned over me, mouth just inches from my ear as he growled, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything as divine as this before. You must be from heaven. I’m wholeheartedly convinced.”

“Y-You…” I could barely speak. The sheer amount of girth was hitting every single spot it could find. It was sending sparks of pleasure through every nerve in my body. I could barely mewl out, “so… good.”

“You poor thing. You can barely speak, can you?” He bit my neck, which triggered an immediate moan. “Heh. You like being mercilessly dominated by a god, don’t you?”

His pace didn’t falter, not even as he spoke. My body was contorted, chest against the bed and hips in the air. Between breaths, I responded, “I-I… I do.”

Then, he grabbed both of my wrists and pinned them behind my back with one hand. With the other, he had a bruising grip on my hip as he asked, “And what God is giving you the privilege to feel such pleasure?”

His pace was unforgiving. I came undone again as soon as he said that, which made him grunt. My brain was having trouble formulating words, but I cared little. No one I had ever done anything with made me feel anything close to what I was feeling. I whined, “You.”

He snapped his hips into me particularly hard as he ordered, “Louder. Tell me who you belong to!”

I yelled out, “You, Zamasu!”

“Good girl.” His pace stopped for a matter of seconds as he flipped me onto my back again, plunging himself into me as he delivered a violent kiss to my lips. One of his hands remained on my hip, and the other tangled itself in my hair. He was overwhelming me, and the only thing I could think about or feel was him. My body was in a constant state of pleasure. I couldn’t have even known if I’d come or not. What got my attention was when his pace became much less rapid and disorganized, and he couldn’t continue kissing me. His head fell to rest against the crook of my neck, and my nails raked down his back.

“Oh, Gods,” he groaned that right into my ear, which caused me to groan in response. With a few more hard thrusts, his pace slowed. He came to a complete stop deep within me. He must’ve hit a climax himself. Both of us were covered in sweat, and he caught his breath much faster than I could catch my own. He said in a sultry voice, “I’m surprised. You took that very well.”

I opened my eyes just a sliver to look at him. My voice was so quiet that I doubted anyone could’ve heard it. “Thank… you.”

“I think I’m going to stay here for a while.” I could see a satisfied smile on his face. I felt his body relax, and he held my head against the crook of his neck. “If you don’t mind, that is.”

“No… I don’t.” Laying there with him, as he stroked my hair, I could feel myself falling asleep. Being in such close proximity with him - being in his arms - it made me feel untouchable. To be the one exception. The one treasure. “I don’t mind…”

“Hush. You’re rambling, dear.”

“I... sorry…”

“It’s alright.” I felt him press another kiss to my forehead. Yes, safe. That’s the way I felt. To sleep in the arms of a God… it was nothing I ever expected to happen. “Sleep, darling. No harm will come to you so long as I’m with you. That, I promise.”

#zamasu #dbz #dbs #dbh #dragon ball z #x reader #zamasu x reader #x female reader #dbz x reader #fem reader #mostly pwp #some fluff #zamasu is a suave son of a bitch #i love him #emz writes

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theewokingdead · 10 months

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The Princess Bride

Pairing: Benny Miller x wife!Reader (1st Person POV; Benergy Universe) Summary: Benny always breaks into random movie references when you least expect it. Word Count: 800+ Rating: No rating but my blog is 18+ Warnings: Includes lines from The Princess Bride Notes: My husband said the Mosquito Montoya line today and it sparked a fic idea. As always, Benergy is a collection of one-shots so this can be read without having read anything else. ***If you enjoy this fic, please tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)***

Masterlist Benergy Masterlist

Having grown up in Colorado’s beautiful mountains, Benny loves being outside. So much so that sometimes he lets the outside in. Even in Florida’s sticky summer heat, Benny will leave the back door wide open behind him whenever he goes out onto the patio. I guess he figures there's no point in closing the door when he'll be back sometime between now and three hours from now.

Eyeroll.

He’s come in and out of the house at least a half dozen times in the past five minutes alone. A task as simple as grilling burgers for the four of us is turning into a hundred step process as first he forgets the spatula, then the cheese, and finally a clean plate to put the cooked burgers on. Then he suddenly decides he wants hot dogs as well.

And this man swears he doesn’t have ADHD.

A hot, humid breeze dances over my body as I stand at the sink, cleaning dishes I had let pile up. The AC unit rumbles in the distance, trying to fight off the heat creeping in, but it’s a losing battle. I've given up on reminding Benny to close the door.

Sophie, our youngest, isn't as agreeable. She's sitting at the kitchen island behind me, a coloring book and a box of crayons strewn in front of her. She whines, and when I turn toward her, I can see the tension building in her shoulders as her eyes seem to follow something around the room.

“A mosquito!” she screams. I have no idea how she's a product of Benny when she hates the outdoors, especially insects, so much.

I don’t immediately see whatever she sees, though I'm certain if our backyard wasn't covered with a screen, all of the state's wildlife would've snuck in by now. There could be a gator climbing up the wall for all I know. I’m honestly not surprised that a mosquito snuck through the netting and got into the house, but I really could not care less about playing bug catcher right now.

“It’ll be okay, baby,” I say, turning back to the dish in my hand. “If you don’t bother it, it won’t bother you.”

“But it will bite me,” she whines, squirming in her seat.

“I’ll get it in a minute, sweetheart,” I offer, hoping she’ll just forget about it and move on. “I promise it won’t bite you.”

“I don’t want it to bite me!” Sophie cries, growing more distraught. “No, no, no! Go away, mosquito!”

Exhaling sharply, I drop the dish in my hand into the sink and turn off the water. Following her gaze, I finally see the source of her fear. There, on a wall nowhere near where she is, is a housefly, minding its own business.

Knowing she won't stop whining until it's taken care of, I grab a swatter and kill it, leaving a black mark on the wall to deal with later. Better yet, I’ll make Benny clean it up, since he’s the one who invited all of nature indoors.

“There. Better?” I ask, turning to look at Sophie, hoping she's satisfied and will let me return to my task.

“Yay! You’re my superhero!” Sophie cheers, clapping and smiling giddily.

"Thank you, baby." I offer her a small smile before turning back to the sink

As soon as I return to washing the dishes, Benny walks into the kitchen, a plate full of cooked food in one hand and a dirty spatula in the other.

“Hello. My name is Mosquito Montoya,” he says with the worst Spanish accent, and I can just sense him pointing the spatula at me. “You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Sophie squeals with laughter, finding anything and everything her father does entertaining. If anything, she’s always encouraging him.

I go still, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. Sometimes I cannot believe the things that come out of his mouth.

“I swear to god I’m leaving,” I say, shutting off the water and reaching for a towel to dry my hands. He’s been in a playful mood all day and I’m just over it – well, not really, but I can’t let him know that. He’s incorrigible. “I am running away and never coming back.”

“You keep saying that,” Benny says. He drops back into the Spanish accent and adds, “I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“Jesus Christ,” I say, tossing the towel onto the counter. I throw my hands in the air, feigning defeat. “I'm done.” I walk out of the kitchen, shaking my head and biting my lip to hide the laughter. He might be annoying as hell at times, but he’s hilarious - I just can’t let him know it.

“True wuv will fowow you foreva,” Benny quotes, following closely behind me.

“Oh my God! Stop!” I exclaim, laughter creeping up in my voice. I pretend to cover my ears.

“So tweasure your wuv!” he exclaims.

“Never!” I shout, but I'm quickly breaking into giggles while trying to escape him.

“Get back, witch!" Benny finally exclaims between laughs. He reaches out and grabs my wrist, spinning me around and pulling me into a kiss before I can protest further. As his lips touch mine, everything else melts away. I surrender to the pleasure, a soft moan escaping my lips as I kiss him back with more intensity.

After a moment, I push him away, and he stares at me in confusion.

“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife,” I say, and his lips immediately twist into a more mischievous smile. He knows that I almost always go along with his nonsense. “And after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that anymore.”

“You never had it so good,” he replies, bringing me in for another kiss.

I can’t argue that.

#benny miller #benny #garrett hedlund #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #garrett hedlund fanfiction #garrett hedlund character #benergy #benjamin benny miller #benny miller x you #benny miller x reader #benny miller x f!reader #catie writes #triple frontier fic

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brighter-by-the-daly · 1 year

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Millie Bright x Reader

Part One: Triggered

Posted 05/04/23 : Edited 27/06/23

AN - I wrote this after a dream I had last night sparked the initial concept. I woke up midway through and didn’t want the story to end as Millie being mean so had to finish it. Based on my own struggles with ADHD and Autism and judging by this dream I’m a bit anxious about the game next week!

A text came through to your phone “mate, Millie is such a bitch she keeps giving me evils and barely even talking to anyone, it’s so awkward!” with a photo taken on the sly. “Omfg Millie’s there?! Get her to sign something for me pleeeease!” you replied. “Fat chance of that! She’s well stuck up!” “I don’t care, I love her!!!” was the last text you sent to your friend. He had won a chance to be at an open training session for Chelsea, he’d asked you to go with him but you had tickets for the England game tonight. Millie was injured so you didn’t expect her to be at either event but here you were with a photo in your hand showing she was at Chelsea rather than supporting her national team vs Brazil tonight.

You had met up with your friends earlier in the day who live around the corner to the stadium, his mum had made dinner and passed you a plate. It was a lovely sunny day and Mack’s mum was the type of person to have the front door open at all hours of the day. You perched on the door step watching the fans trickle towards the stadium, munching happily away at the bbq chicken when you heard the garden gate click open and shut. Looking up to see the familiar blonde figure approaching the house. Gobsmacked at who it was and why she was there you moved your body to the side so she could enter the house. “Millie! I didn’t think you were coming, I just gave your plate to (y/n)!” your friend’s mum called from the kitchen. Feeling a shift in her positioning behind you, you looked up to see the defender towering over you “I’m assuming you’re (y/n)?” she snapped. Yes, that was me. The bitch eating Millie Bright’s chicken, of course that could only happen to me. “Do you want some? I’m not gonna eat all of this anyway” your words quickly exiting your mouth in panic and becoming more frantic when she nodded in a ‘well duh’ sort of way as she opened her mouth. Screwing up your face in confusion “y-you want me to uh“ stabbing your fork into a piece of crispy chicken as Millie rolled her eyes and nodded again. Lifting your fork to towards her mouth you were obviously shaking and accidentally smeared bbq sauce on her cheek. You felt the mood lift a little when she chuckled wiping her mouth as you passed her the plate to avoid anymore mishaps. Your friend went inside to wash up leaving a space next to you on the door step where Millie plopped herself down, her knee grazing yours. “How’s the injury?” you asked trying to make small talk “I’m not allowed to say” she replied bluntly still shovelling food into her mouth like she hadn’t eaten in days.

“Guys we should probably leave soon” you called through to your friends in the lounge. “Why? Kick off isn’t for another hour yet” Millie scoffed at you “because I get anxious” you responded honestly “why? It’s just football” she sneered like you’re an alien species. “I just like to know I’m on time” your friends knew your AuDHD traits come out the most when there is a set timed thing to do. Like football. You liked to be there early so you could find your seats without an overwhelming amount of people staring at you arriving. You found comfort in knowing you wouldn’t have to tell people they were in your seats and you could relax knowing you were in the right place. You’d never been to this stadium before and new places triggers your anxiety. “You don’t need to worry about that” she muttered between mouthfuls “gee thanks, I’m cured” sarcastically rolling your eyes at her ignorance as you rose from the step and entered the house to move away from her. Maybe your friend was right, she is a bitch!

An hour passed before you actually left, you were now a nervous mess and on the brink of a meltdown. Millie lead you and your friends down an ally to a gate you hadn’t seen when looking up the maps online. You fell behind your friends as you rushed to find the tickets on your phone and missed the email containing them. “I can only find two guys!” you called out to the group in panic “slow down, I can’t find the other two!” you pleaded. “You don’t need tickets you’re with me, put your phone away” Millie sniped at you. This game you were so looking forward to now made you want to leave and go home, everything was wrong and nothing like you had planned for weeks. Millie handed over her pass to a steward as you were frantically trying to find the other tickets, your friend noticed, pushed your lock button and gestured for you to put your phone away with no explanation. You stood there wondering what the hell was happening until you heard the steward “5 yeah? All good.” With that, the others started to shuffle you inside and to seats that weren’t the ones you had carefully chosen when booking them. To be fair, they were really good seats just above the dug outs and in front of a box but you couldn’t help feeling on edge knowing these weren’t actually your seats, worrying someone’s going to come at any moment and tell you to move. Millie sat down next to you with her huge England puffer jacket encroaching on your personal space, hearing every squeak of the fabric against the chair and the rustling against your body, you had never felt more uncomfortable.

Noticing you were stimming - your foot tapping and fiddling with your thumb ring Millie heavily placed her hand onto your thigh making your leg stop shaking instantly. “What’s wrong?” she asked moving her hood so you could see her face “nothing” you shook your head violently trying to stop her from asking anymore questions. You were trying so hard not to have a meltdown and anymore questions might push the tears you were trying desperately to hide out of your eyes and you wanted nothing more than for her not to witness this. You’d looked up to the defender since you were young and thought meeting her would be like a dream but today had been nothing short of a nightmare. She’d hit all your triggers without realising you had any and you were really struggling to hide your contempt. “Tell me” she said forcefully. Staring out to the pitch you thought deeply about what to say but it all came blurting out like a car crash of words leaving your mouth. “I have ADHD and Autism, I’ve never been to this stadium before so had looked up all the maps and knew what time to get here so I could find my seats, I always feel like someone will be sat in them and I’d have to have an awkward conversation to get them to move, The Lionesses are my special interest and I was so looking forward to this day but you changed all the plans and it’s been a lot to deal with. I like being on an aisle so I don’t feel trapped, I wanted to watch the warm ups, I hate being late and your jacket is so noisy it’s making me want to throw something at you.” Your words left your mouth in one extremely long sentence barely making time to breath, your monotone voice wasn’t raised just sad that nothing had turned out right. Millie stared blankly at you like everything you had just said flew straight over her head. You couldn’t help that you felt uncomfortable, your friends knew what triggers you and should have been more understanding to all these plans changing. One thing you could have dealt with but this.. this was a lot.

“Do you drink tea?” the blonde asked you after a long awkward silence, nodding gently she asked how you have it then rose from her seat and entered the box, re-emerging with a cup in her hand. “Sit in this one” she gestured to the seat she was in before which was on an aisle and passed the cup to you; instantly feeling a little relief as the warmth spread through your hands. Hearing the zipper of her coat undo she took it off and started to put it around your shoulders. “What are you doing?” you asking while trying to shrug it off, “trust me, it’s a like a big safety bubble, put it on” she nodded smiling as encouragement. Feeling the warmth around your body and the weight of the coat acting like your blanket at home you sunk into your seat, your heart rate returning to normal and your eyes were no longer acting like dams for your tears. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise” her words sounding sincere “why would you? I have to work very hard to appear like everyone else, to seem normal. Nobody would know unless I told them or I suddenly snapped. They’d just see me flip out over one tiny thing without recognising all of the other things that had lead me to snap” you said looking down at your cup. “I get it, trust me” she smiled. With that the teams walked out onto the pitch - immediately making you happy again. Millie took hold of your hand and held it between hers on her lap. It’s like she had heard you and understood exactly what you needed - to feel safe.

Part Two

#millie bright #millie bright x reader #woso masterlist #woso x reader

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notafragileegg · 2 months

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Ever felt extremely tired / straight up fell asleep due to boredom? Congratulations! You might have experienced this weird thing called "intrusive sleep".

(I am gonna link a few sources, it's a really fascinating thing) Intrusive sleep is such a weird thing. It happens particularly often in people with ADHD.

Our nervous systems apparently just disengage out of SHEER BOREDOM! It might lead to drowsiness or collapse on the spot due to abrupt tiredness.

Apparently, it happens because our brains see no point in "wasting energy" on the current task

Article 1 | Article 2

My personal experience with this is something I'd like to share. I luckily don't have the variant where I just suddenly drop to the floor and sleep. I occasionally get extremely tired and drowsy when I don't know what to do / get overwhelmed with a boring task. It's like an INTENSE feeling of tiredness that takes over my entire body and sensory processing. Things start moving slower, my thoughts start forming into dreams and I fall asleep within 1-2 minutes for a couple of minutes to an hour.

This is extremely difficult to handle when I have to listen to a monotone teacher, watch a documentary, or even read a book. My brain just goes "oh... well, fuck this" and just sends me to sleep.

The part that annoys me most is when I tell people about this problem I have, that's actually impacting my ability to live like I want to, some have told me that I should be thankful for being able to fall asleep on command. The thing is, this is not a restful sleep, nor is it like a nap, it's almost like I just lose all motor ability, skip a bit of time, and wake up like nothing happened. Maybe my hand is sore because I fell asleep on top of it, but that's pretty much the only change besides a bit of left-over drowsiness. + IT HAPPENS WHEN I DON'T WANT IT TO

I have only recently tried to do something against it after realizing it's most likely an ADHD thing - so I took the approach of pumping myself with AS MUCH GOOD STIMULATION AS I CAN HANDLE until I am awake; I put on some music, get some easy snacks, fill my water bottle with cold water and just hope, that that's enough to basically stop my brain from deactivating me temporarily.

Intrusive sleep is definitely something I want to learn more about and might make a follow-up post about. I just had this intense urge to write a post at 2am (this definitely doesn't help with my other sleep issues lmao). I just hope it's legible and hopefully somewhat interesting to read.

#neurodiversity #adhd #actual adhd #actually adhd #intrusive sleep #adhd problems #adhd things #adhd brain #adhd experience

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professor-walnut · 1 year

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Nemona is by far my favourite rival character in any game; she is also absolutely neurodivergent - hear me out on this.

I love seeing characters in media who are subtly autistic or adhd coded, and pokemon has a lot of them. But pretty frequently when writers create nd characters, they end up falling into a trope of genius/shy/nerdy/introverted/emotionless. And there is nothing wrong with that! I love all of these characters, and they do bring representation to a lot of people.

Nemona, right from the start of the game is absolutely the opposite of that type of character, however. She's loud, she's extroverted and excitable and in your face right from the start. She doesn't fit that cliche box, but she slowly shows more and more through her dialogue and actions through the storyline and postdated that she has her own struggles.

Her 'battle obsession' is a special interest, she will turn every topic into a conversation about pokemon battles, even when it's not appropriate to do so. She gets so wrapped up and excited about it that other characters frequently have to remind her that you, the player, aren't in fact a champion trainer, and you and your pokemon need to rest and might not want to battle over and over or go up against overpowered mons. She hyperfocuses on you as the character, sensing someone with even just a DROP of interest in the thing she is obsessed with and clings to you from then on, deciding with or without your agreement that you have to be best friends bevause of it. She physically bounces on the spot getting so excited whenever her special interest is mentioned, towards the end there's multiple times she will jog on the spot or shake her fists excitedly unable to even find the right words. (And let me tell you man, if that's not the most accurate portrayal of my own experiences vibing with a special interest. Sometimes it's like you have so much excitement your body can't even contain it and you must MOVE).

She misses social cues - which is particularly shown when you're in area zero as a group. The rest of the characters will be discussing heartfelt topics, Arven is going through some shit and everyone is worrying about Koridon/Miridon, but Nemona makes seemingly insensitive comments throughout, sometimes having to correct herself like -yes right of course I want our lizard friend to be okay and definatly not because I really want to battle it.

She reacts to things in inappropriate ways - when AI Sada/Turo starts glitching out over the audio (which by the way, being in an abandoned creepy base and just hearing an eerie voice being like "hello children- hello children - h-h-h-hello-he- chil-chil-children children children hell children hello ch-children :)" is nightmare fuel.) and the other three are freaked the fuck out, understandably so, Nemona is cheerful as anything and commenting on how it's making her even more excited, even to the point Penny has to point out to her that this reaction is not normal.

The thing that sold it to me the most was her short story post game, where you can talk to her at various places around the school. You watch her excitedly approach a random boy she doesn't know and try to rope him in to battling her. He gets awkward and uncomfortable and turns her down - she doesn't read the room and still thinks they're going to battle. You realise - for the first time in the game really - that dispite Nemona being a student president and a champion trainer, someone who looks and seems like they should be super popular and cool - you've never seen her with a friend. She doesn't have a social group before meeting you and getting to bond with Arven and Penny. She is extroverted and confident and talks to the teachers and gym leaders like peers, but she's awkward and misses important social cues and other kids notice. They're intimidated by her and her energy and her hyperfixiation.

The part at the end of her storyline, where you are in her dorm room talking, and she describes her feelings as having an invisible wall between her and other kids - that hurt me on an emotional level. Because that is exactly what it's like to be a neurodivergent teenager with one hyperfixiation special interest you pour everything into. For me it was art, when I was a teen I was obsessed, I drew in every lesson, from the moment I got up to the moment I went to bed, I collected art books and watched art tutorials and it's all I wanted to talk about, think about, DO every second, I couldn't bare the boredom of anything that wasn't that. And that level of obsession and passion was too much for other kids, it scared them, it weirder them out. That small section of dialogue where she talks about feeling distanced from other kids really hit me in the feels, and I kinda wish I had been able to experience this characters story back when I was a young teen in the same place, it would have hit me all the harder.

When you look back at the beginning of the game after playing it through, it makes so much more sense why she comes across as a little clingy to you as the character - why she makes insecure comments about you not needing to battle other people when you could be battling her, and why she follows you around from gym to gym as if your journey is her own. You're the first person to - in inelegant terms - 'put up with' her energy. You are her first real friend who not only accepts her sort of aggressive special interest infodumping but embraces it, endulges in it because it makes her happy. If course she clings to you, the playable character is probably the best friend, maybe even the first real friend she has ever had.

Anyway that's my aggressive rant over having too many emotions about fictional characters for today, thanks for coming to my Ted talk. I just really love seeing a different variation of neurodivergent character portrayed in franchises, it makes my little heart happy for all the neurodivergent kids out there who get to vibe with someone, you know?

#pokemon scarlet and violet #spoilers #its the middle of the night but man I needed to TALK #this game is a gift even if the graphics suck and the bugs are unbarable

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philosophicalparadox · 3 months

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In honor of my not feeling good:

Some Signs of having a Fever (and you might not know it)

Feeling cold even when the temperature is warm or you are buried in blankets

Chills that come and go

Headache (very common, particularly behind the eyes)

Mild to moderate nausea

Feeling like your body is really hot and your extremities are cold

Racing or thudding heart

Changes in breathing, faster and shallower usually but sometimes the opposite

Cold sweating

Fatigue

Wandering or incoherent thoughts or severe brain fog

Achy joints

Weakness

Feeling sick when you drink something cold or if room temp water feels cold

Noticing your eyes water a lot

A hot, sticky feeling in the back of the throat

Getting dizzy all of a sudden or experiencing vertigo when moving

Your eyes physically hurt

extra crackly joints.

Restlessness

Just. Odd behavior in general. Maybe you got the sudden urge to call someone you haven’t talked to in years. Maybe you just feel like laying on the floor for no apparent reason. Maybe you get the idea that the wall might taste good. Goes along with wandering and incoherent thoughts.

Sudden anxiety that compels you to find other people. Anyone’s company is better than none and you can’t explain why. The idea of being by yourself is suddenly unpleasant. I refer to this as the Puppy Response.

Alternatively a compulsion to hide and bunker down away from everyone else. I call this the Cat Response.

What I call Panic or Manic Circling where you’re a specific kind of restless that’s compelling you to find somewhere to be but you don’t know where “it” wants you to go or why, so you just kinda go in circles hoping the answer jumps out at you.

Bizarre emotional states. Maybe you’re extra moody, or you’re ugly crying for no obvious reason. Maybe you’re unusually elated or happy, (that one’s always sus to me) or get upset over absolutely nothing. Maybe a depression spiral hits you out of nowhere and won’t quit.

Perhaps it’s because I have OCD too(brand spanking new diagnosis), but I find that compulsive comfort behaviors are suddenly much more frustrating or nitpicky when I have a fever or don’t feel good in general.

Now all of these can happen independently of a fever and for lots of other reasons, but I have found that if more than like three are happening all at the same time, I should check my temperature.

I have an unusual quirk (though it’s not really odd for ADHD or autistics, much less AuDHD) in that my body is absolutely terrible at telling me something is wrong and tends to find the weirdest ways of expressing that.

I have, for the record, checked my temperature when I had like 9 of these all coinciding and I actually really felt like I had a fever, and have a temp of a whole whopping 99.5. (Like now) I have also checked my temperature when I only had 3, all the emotional ones, and my temperature was 104.2. For some reason the higher my fever gets the less able to feel it I become, so I’ve learned to do a self check of these symptoms often.

I feel like these may be useful for anyone writing a sick character and wondering how they could possibly not know they’re feverish, especially very feverish. Plus it’s interesting to see if other people experience these odd things.

#illness #fever

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layton-heritage-posts · 1 year

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Alright everyone listen up, I’m gonna talk about my participation in the Sexyman tournament and also reveal the first and probably last Heritagesona to ever see the light of the sun.

First up, I love to see you guys get creative with all this like you did with the other two Sexyman tournaments. Be it Propaganda-Posters, Art, posts, whatever. Those were already the highlight of the og True Sexyman contest, so I hope to see them make a return. Especially if they are propaganda for me.

But, and this should really be clear, please don’t get weird with it. You can make as many jokes on my account as you want but I really don’t want to wake up one day and see me drawn in a… let’s say unfortunate way. I don’t think any of you would actually go that far, but I still wanted to make it clear. The other rp blogs pose as fictional characters, but don’t forget you’re dealing with a real person this time.

Now, let’s talk about something more interesting. After seeing the drawing of me in the jojo pose walking towards the greggs (which is an amazing piece of art, definitely check out the artist @lordchairesq) I realized that none of you know what I look like, which is normally great in tearms of Internet anonymity, but might become a problem when it comes to propaganda posts.

Sooooo, may I introduce you to:

Sexymanified Me.

Alright, let’s go through this.

First thing you probably noticed was the monitor strapped to my head. I had a bunch of ideas for how to hide my face, but none of them really worked out the way I wanted to, so I settled for this.

Fortunately for me, I have the natural twink body type. We’re talking rivaling Clive Dove levels of Twinkness. That’s a pretty good pre-condition for a Sexyman tourney.

Also yes, due to popular demand I did add cat ears. Kinda.

Moving further down, I also got headphones. ADHD sucks, but at least I have these things to send sound waves strong enough to break metal down my eardrum to drown anything around me out. The ones I always wear are wired ones, but because the cord I tried to draw looked incredible shitty I decided to just act like they are Bluetooth ones.

And now we come to the most important part of my character design. Admittedly, I have no idea what they are called in English, but it’s a pretty thin jacket that works kinda like a hoodie. I own 5 of these things, but only one has an ace flag sown onto the shoulder. That’s right, this Sexyman is unfuckable.

I don’t actually own the T-Shirt that I wear here. I don’t even have a shirt in this color. But I needed some more connections to this blog.

What you can’t see here is that I also have an ace ring. It’s nothing special, just a simple black ring.

Lastly I also have some boots that I love to wear. They are only meant for winter/fall, but I always wear them into spring as far as I can. If you think you recognize them no you don’t.

And that was everything! Obviously, if you want to, you guys are free to change some things about the design if you want (for example me in the news reporter outfit) or throw in a reference to something that happened on here or whatever.

I'll even throw in a png version so you can put me in situations.

Also one with an empty screen.

#not a heritage post #crazy pl rp sexyman tournament

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deadmomjokes · 1 year

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Do you have any new adventures with bean?

Not so much an "adventure" as a "We all knew this day was coming, but now what do we do about it?" moment, but have the story nonetheless. (Because it is occupying my thoughts nonstop, mostly because she won't let it go.)

Picture this: It is bedtime for a young girl who historically hates bedtime. Because of this, we have done up her room with what one would consider The Works--blackout curtains, white noise machine, specifically-requested rainbow nightlight, and a brand new Big Girl Bed with a fancy headboard full of cubbies, which house her many stuffed animals/bedtime buddies.

Every night, she chooses one of these friends to sleep with (which may or may not get swapped three or four times throughout the night, because she is my child after all and indecision runs in our veins like a wild horse through a dewy morning field). This particular night, I ask "Which toy would you like to sleep with?" and she cheerfully says, "Duck."

Not a toy duck, mind you. It is a plushy cat named Duck, whom she loves very very much. Her other toy cat is named Toast. She is very good at naming things. But moving on.

She snuggles up with Duck the Cat, and I prepare to tell a bedtime story as usual. But something is wrong. In the pastel-neon glow of her rainbow nightlight, I see her eyes begin to well up. Her forehead wrinkles. Her eyebrows crease over a nose that is rapidly turning red beneath its smattering of freckles.

I am as confused as I am concerned. The protests and sorrows don't usually begin until after story time, when kisses and night-nights have been deployed. More importantly, they're usually all performative. But this is genuine sorrow.

Before I can open my mouth to ask what is wrong, she turns her watery baby blues on me and chokes out, "Mama, I'm sad."

I ask, "Why are you sad, baby?"

She looks from me, to her precious Duck the Cat, lying silent and still beside her on the pillow, and places a tiny hand on the plush, overstuffed head.

"Duck is my pretend pet cat. I'm sad because there is not a real cat." And she once more fixes me with a weepy, heartbreaking look of soul-crushing despair and says the words I have long dreaded: "I want to have a real pet cat."

Y'all, her dad is allergic to cats.

I'm not talking "sneezes and sniffles" allergies, either. I'm talking "was rushed to the ER as a child," "breaks out in full-body hives," "has full-blown reactions from simply interacting with people who have recently held a cat" kind of allergies. His allergies are so severe and sensitized that he essentially functions as radar for cat owners: hug someone and wait for the sniffles and itchiness. It never fails. There is no way this man could ever coexist in a house with a cat for longer than a few hours while doped up on benadryl, even one of the "hypoallergenic" breeds (which is very misleading and dangerous misinformation, but that's a whole other post in itself).

I mean, it's not like we can have a pet right now anyway. We live in a no-animals housing situation. We're also likely to move cross-country by the end of the year or early next, which would be difficult on any animal. I'm working on finding the right meds for my ADHD, my husband is running around to post-op PT and followups, Bean is dealing with her own specialty appointments for her gastric issues. It's just not a great time to bring in a pet. But the one-- the only one-- we could never have in our house to begin with is the one that my daughter happens to catch a Pining for at a grand 3.5 years old, which is, perhaps, the worst possible age to try and explain the many reasons we should not/cannot have a pet right now. Especially the one she wants.

The wee one knows Dad can't be around cats. That's part of why she was so sad. But the Pack-Bond Longing has officially come upon her, and she wants a pet. Really, really wants a pet.

Unfortunately, she comes by it naturally. My husband and I are both Animal People to the core. We run the Slimy Critter Rescue Brigade when it rains. Despite crippling anxiety disorders, I once skipped classes and made 3 hours worth of phone calls (as well as sacrificed my favorite handmade jacket) to catch an injured seagull that tried to take my face off multiple times. Her dad can't resist petting a cat if it comes within his line of sight even though he knows good and well it will have severe consequences. I have broken housing rules multiple times to care for injured or orphaned animals, only some of which were domestic pet species.

So it's not just her. We are all in Deep Mourning at the moment. It doesn't help that our brilliant genius child remembers the kinds of animals that Dad is not allergic to. She tells us at least once a day that she really wants to have a pet, and it is okay that we cannot have a cat in our house because Dad is not allergic to lizards/some dogs/fishes/birds/snakes/guinea pigs (that appears to be in order of desire), so maybe we can have one of those animals for a pet.

Worse, any one of us technically qualifies for an ESA to bypass the housing issue.

As the adults, we're trying really hard to be strong and think of the best thing for an animal, which does not include entering into a household in transition and likely to uproot soon.

But she's right and speaks for all of us: "I want a real pet animal to be in my house." :(

#adventures of bean #kids #parenting #animals #pets #it's hard being the responsible one #but we've decided #if i can get my meds worked out and stable #and thus get the house properly cleaned/organized/decluttered #then we can go ahead IF it's not within 3 months of moving for sure #otherwise we can go ahead and get a pet as soon as we get settled in wherever we move 1-2 months after moving #so we have a plan #but we're still sad :(

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curiouschaosstarlight · 24 days

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hello!! this is some encouragement! I also have anxieties, as well as general difficulty Living Life due to executive dysfunction. but that Want you have is proof enough that you SHOULD push out a little more! your bones long for sunshine, your brain longs for other brains to bounce off of! something that helped me out was two things: resolving to go on more little walks, and learning how to cook better. it's small, and neither will Totally Change Your Life, but it's an extra Kick to get you moving and more used to having some variety. anxiety-wise, i would examine WHAT anxieties you have and make appropriate preparations. scared of getting hurt? see if there's any martial arts places in your area; learning some self-defense and improving your Reaction reflexes can help with that A LOT. worried about poor interactions with strangers? first, think of some ways they could go WELL. then, think of some /realistic/ ways they could go bad, and practice calming down and accepting those circumstances. the cashier being mildly annoyed with you is not the end of the world, after all! stuff like that. and i know we basically never talk, but i see you in my notes quite a lot, so i've come to consider you a friend :) please, feel free to say howdy anytime! even if it's just tagging in a meme.

Hey, same hat!! (Well, probably. I don't have an -official- diagnosis because...well, because the healthcare system sucks and I keep getting the runaround, but it's getting increasingly clear to me and my loved ones that I probably have really bad, undiagnosed ADHD)

I definitely need to go on more walks TwT I was doing really well, going on walks with my mom on early mornings! ...but then, story of my life, Something Happened and "The Habit" Broke. (In this case, it snowed and mom didn't want to walk when there was a bunch of snow on the ground, and I didn't want to go without her) So I have to restart the walking (again), but I still need to do it. I want to cook stuff more often ;w; even if it's just simple stuff. But my current physical situation (slightly with me and my injured shoulder, but primarily with certain stuff outside of my control), that is currently not an option for me qvq

Ironically, fun fact, for all my anxieties and emotional problems, walking around alone has never really scared me (even, or rather especially, at night; night walks are my JAM) unless it's ~mosquito hours~ (See, I have fans! Thousands and thousands of teeny tiny ones........they only want me for my body tho.......) ...Conversely, my body's reaction to rejection (or even perceived rejection) is aaaallll janked up to high heavens qvq and the idea that someone will hate me/dislike me/think I'm "weird" or "annoying" is definitely my biggest obstacle when it comes to approaching new people. (The rise of purity/callout/cancel culture has, uh, definitely not helped as you might imagine...) Definitely my currently biggest problem is I don't have any good ways of calming myself without going to my two best friends for support/distraction, which...really isn't viable in a lot of situations. (<- Something that I realized while reading this ask!) I'm sort of good at doing things like pressing "send" or "join" past my panic and just letting myself panic fully afterwards, but this also is not good long-term...something I absolutely need to look into more.

Awww! ^w^ Thank you! We may not talk much, but I do really value the times you do respond to the stuff I say! And I will! (Also, memes are definitely funner when you have more people to tag >:3c)

#luesmainblog #ask #tfw you're just casually trying to create in the background and get a super kind ask <3

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vinnyistired · 28 days

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mental health rant

Why is it so hard to convince my doctor that my issues stem from neurodivergence and not seasonal/environmental based depression? I feel like because I speak I'm articulate and my tone is measured and serious when I'm around people I don't know or trust that well (work/school mode) that they just assume I'm fine, and then tell me I'm actually super smart and capable. Meanwhile I can barely handle a normal amount of homework + basic chores without getting mentally exhausted. People only acknowledge the times when I'm cramming for hours at a time to study and spending all day with no break cleaning the house/doing manual labor because I straight up can't stop when my body desperately needs me to. If I tell doctors "Hey I've worked my ass off to manage my ptsd and move past my childhood, but now I'm noticing peculiar behavioral patterns that have been there before the trauma and are still there" they just throw pills at me and are upset and confused when I tell them they aren't working.

Today I returned to school after a week break due to having a meltdown in front of my doc and getting a week of sick leave (Living in Finland is really neat), and when he asked me if I feel like I'm good to return to class I told him very plainly:

"I have to be, because I'm required to take this language course and I want to learn the language. I don't get a choice in the matter, it's just how it is and always has been. I work beyond my capability to meet the expectations of people around me, I burn out, crash, then I fall behind because I'm forced to rest, then the cycle repeats"

He sat there in silence for about 20 seconds then tried to get me to admit that the statement above is depression, and not me being realistic. That is the reality, though. That's literally how I've been living my entire life and if I sit there and suddenly decide "yeah I'm not doing that anymore" I lose friends, get disowned by family, lose my job, and there's a risk the government will see me as lazy and not sick enough to give me support. That isn't depression causing me to imagine something tragic and hopeless, that has all happened before when I tried to allow myself to stop and rest for longer than people thought i needed, or let the mask slip and showed vulnerability and exhaustion to the wrong people at the wrong time.

Sometimes it feels like because I am not neurodivergent in whatever way is steriotypical I'm not taken seriously, but the reason I don't do that is because I've painstakenly cobbled together a work and school persona to get me through life. Like do they expect me to show up to the function ready to infodump about my special interest(s) and random factoids and trivia? Maybe I should start doing that. Next time I go to see my doctor I should just lore dump about Sub Zero's story across all the mortal kombat games and when he says "wow you must really like mortal kombat" nah I just can't stop myself from relearning all the fucking lore when a new game comes out for whatever reason despite not even finding it that interesting or nostalgic. Also I haven't played in 20 years and have no intention of playing it ever again. What pills fix that, you fucking hack?

The good news is they moved up the appointment with the adhd and autism specialists from october to august so that's cool. One step closer to answers and possible official proof that I need more help than "nah you're smart you can handle it. Here have some pills."

#mental illness #neurodivergent

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your-queer-dad · 29 days

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(Vent sorry, not about queerness I just have nowhere else to say this where I'll get any sort of response)

Ive been having to deal with so much stuff lately. Like I was fine when I was in the midst of severe depression cause I didn't think I'd live very long anyways but now I need to come to terms with everything I've been ignoring for at least a year and at most my whole life. Like I'm AuDHD in a decently ableist family (middle/working class white cishet moderate leftists who think they're very progressive, you know the type) and I've had absolutely shit experiences with the people who should be helping me with that stuff (my old therapist was actively uneducated and ableist, my psychiatrist was a white cishet man in his 60s or 70s and I had to teach him what masking is and how adhd and autism present in AFAB people) which makes that really difficult in general because all my friends know I have AuDHD but I can't officially come out and say that I do because my family will deny it and tell me I'm being attention seeking and looking for excuses for being lazy and a flawed person. I also don't physically look the way I've been convincing myself I look naturally for a long time (yay anorexia recovery) and it's just messing me up a lot because when I look at my reflection I just feel visceral disgust. I'm still on the lower end of a healthy weight, but I can only see a few of my ribs now and my stomach isn't flat anymore. Everyone else says they can't notice but I feel like I've lost everything that made me good, and I'm scared that gaining weight is going to stop me from passing. I hate being with my parents and I just feel like I'm a horrible person for that, I only got hit once and other than that they're just toxic and sort of manipulative/emotionally abusive. They try their best they just can't raise me right and I feel like shit for that. I wish I could be spending more time outside, but I had a medical emergency thing on Tuesday (my mom doesn't let me call it a seizure because we don't know for sure) and I'm scared that that's going to happen again, and my constant joint pain has just gotten worse. My friends are telling me that I need to talk to a doctor about this, but the wait time for rheumatology is insane and my parents thing I'm making it up/exaggerating/looking for attention and even if they believe me they don't think it's important and worth getting help for. I'm scared that I'm going to die, last time it happened my entire body went numb and stiff and I couldn't move and I was just twitching for like 15 minutes. I also completely lost my vision before this happened, and it was greyscale/coming back slowly for the entire thing, plus I could barely hear anything. If that happens again I genuinely think that I might die. I also have scars all over my legs and chest and I have to either hide them or find some sort of explanation for them that won't make the people I work with during the summer think I'm not suited for working with kids (summer camp counseling). I spent all of last year thinking I was never going to turn 15 and now I kind of wish I hadn't.

I want to live but it's all so overwhelming and if I falter or let my parents see that I'm scared, they'll force me into the role of a small child and start treating me like a toddler or an animal like they always do. I just don't know what to do and I know it's horrible and selfish and disgusting but I just wish my mom would die. I can't live like this, it's only 3 more years but I'm just so scared. She keeps threatening me and saying I won't get into college or I'm failing high school because of how long I was out of school due to psych ward stuff even though she knows that not getting into college is my main fear- if that happens, I can't keep going. I know that I'm going to kill myself if I can't get into college. After that I'm still going to need to pay off student loans and I might not have my best friend with me (if I have him ill be okay and he says that he promises he'll try to live with me in college) and I just can't deal with that. I need to catch up on school and I need to learn to drive and then I need to get ready for my job in the summer and I need to make sure my grades are good enough for colleges to want me and I need to get people to like me and I just can't do it. I don't want to die but I feel like it's the only answer, I'm just not capable of doing this. I'm not supposed to be alive. I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Sorry about the rant you don't need to answer at all I know this is a lot

-🔆

Hey kiddo. Please please don't apologise for reaching out, I'm here for you and I'm always here for you, night and day my inbox and DMs are always open to anyone who needs to talk.

God, it sounds like you've had a rough deal. I understand where you're coming from. With parents, it's so hard when they don't do what they're supposed to do as parents and they don't understand you or believe you when you ask for help. It's awful and I am so sorry.

From the sounds of things, it sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, as well as all that pressure around you. As scary as the future is, it isn't going to creep up on you one day. It's tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and the day after that and every single day after that. You have time to breathe and rest and do whatever you need to do. You can't do everything at once, you're only human- and expecting yourself to do everything at once only caused burn out and stress.

Also, as a person who's gone through eating disorder recovery- weight doesn't stop you from passing. I promise you it doesn't. It's a good thing! It's a sign that all the work you've done recovering has paid off. I'm proud of you.

Keep your head up kiddo, I'm so so proud of you. Remember to take care of yourself, let yourself breathe and don't expect yourself to do everything all at once. I'm here anytime you need to talk.

Love you,

- dad x

#finch rambles #ask a finch!

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healingheartdogs · 1 month

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CW for ideation, just ranting a bit about psych stuff

When you tell your psychiatrist that you've never been so depressed in your life and have never struggled with ideation and wanting to self harm so much and you don't know if it's just because of your current life situation (poverty and the looming threat of homelessness is so fun) or if it's because of the meds you're on now (which have a black box warning for increase in suicidal thoughts and suicide risk) and instead of addressing either of those two very realistic possibilities she just asks if I'm expecting my period soon and when my last one was instead. I have PMDD but it's never been suicidal PMDD, and I'm on BC to manage it rn that stops me from having periods so it's not relevant anyway.

When I told her my BC stops my period so I don't have them she asked me if I was still tracking them to make sure it wasn't possibly PMDD... There's nothing to track lady, I DON'T HAVE THEM. And then she moved on to asking me how else the meds were making me feel and told me I should keep trying them for longer to see if they actually work because it can take up to two months to see benefits without ever going back to address the extreme depression and ideation. Like... dude the strattera clearly does not like my brain since it is making me extremely depressed, COULD YOU LISTEN TO ME PLEASE??? It also is not actually helping with any of my ADHD symptoms besides making my head a little bit quieter instead of constant random ping-ponging thoughts.

I told the nurse before my first visit with this psych that I was worried about seeing a new psychiatrist because my last one didn't listen to me and focused on irrelevant things that I would mention in passing a lot instead of what was actually important to me to deal with, and she told me this new psych is SUCH a good listener that she even talks to her about her problems a lot so she hopes I felt the same while seeing her. I can only conclude that this nurse must be mentally healthy because this lady does not listen any better than the last one and does the exact same shit, acting like all my problems are just because I don't sleep "normally" and focusing more on managing my anxiety (which is a symptom not its own problem and is already being managed fairly well by my beta blockers) and low self worth rather than solving the issues causing my anxiety and low self worth like my extreme executive dysfunction that makes me feel like I'm trapped in my unresponsive body and a useless POS all the time.

I s2g I am so over getting lectures on sleep hygiene and needing to "fix" my sleep schedule from doctors when I am not complaining about sleep at all just because they personally don't like my sleep habits. Yes, I have a sleep disorder. Yes, my sleep schedule frequently shifts because I'm not on a 24 hour cycle. NO, I do NOT have a problem with that and I do NOT struggle with getting to sleep, staying asleep, or getting enough sleep!!! STOP FOCUSING ON MY SLEEP!!!! THE UNMANAGED ADHD IS MUCH MORE SERIOUS!!! But my sleep schedule isn't "correct" for capitalism and working normal jobs so they prioritize that "issue" instead, even though I wouldn't be able to work even if it was normal because of my EXTREME ADHD and physical disability.

I hate healthcare in this country.

#tw suicidal ideation #suicidal ideation #tw self harm #self harm

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realitysperception · 11 months

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A'ight

Me and Spector_Author went to go see Rise of the Beasts and ho boy do we have words on it. Spoilers under the cut below (fair warning it's long).

First off, instead of the regular seats we accidentally bought the 4D tickets. 4D differs from 3d that on top of the glasses and pop-out effects you get smell-o-vision and your chair moves.

So I gotta say, because I have the body mass of a single dried out skeleton, seeing Optimus Primal and Optimus Prime fighting with explosions is a lot more visceral white knuckled gripping the seat handles trying not get launched forward and smash your face on the floor. I was legit bracing myself for every action scene.

But good times were had.

Alright, Spoilers. Spector_Authors writing this one. Fair warning point form because we both had ADHD and pinball from subject to subject.

This is long.

We both liked the pacing of the movie, both Prime and Primal had their character arcs balanced with each other we though, while Mirage and Noah were the backbone arcs.

Mirage was totally meant to be Jazz and we are okay with this.

Little disappointed Nightbird talked, however briefly, but all in she was pretty neat. The glowing double katanas are perfect.

More weapons should glow.

Spent all of the movie not knowing Battletraps name, but love the way he used the tow lines of his alt mode.

We need more alt-mode chases and alt-mode battles like that.

Wheeljack. Look what they did to my mans, they gave him sUsPeNdErS. There was no need for him to have such a drastic redesign, it added nothing to the plot, and in fact took away from continuity with the Bumblebee movie because he had a full fledged good design in that. But maybe they wanted to show new planet, new look, then just augment the old one. He can still have the colour change of white to brown, still have a pair of suspenders and glasses slapped on, a face too? Sure, just have retract his battle mask when he meets up with Prime. The helms fins? They were there, but only for a microsecond or a few frames in the battle scene. The battle scene, why would you bring in the gadget and explosive character if he doesn't use explosions or gadgets??

The battle scene was also pretty amazing. I got chills at "Maximize!" never have I wanted to hear that yelled so badly before. Like damn.

I would have loved a tiny bit more interaction between the Maximals and Autobots, I don't recall hearing Cheetor or Rhinox talk other than the big meet up scene. Even just a passing word in the background, maybe a supporting word on the plan to take down the warp gate, heck even small talk with Stratosphere (I think he's great too)

(Spector_Author) I refuse to gush/rant on the subspace and mass shifting needed for the Mirage suit.

The Gi Joe thing, the Gi Joe thing. Whhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyy. When the scene started I thought it was a dumb attempt to tie it to the Bayverse, but then he flipped the car and it was shoved in your face GI JOE. And I get why they did it, relaunch it and see if it works better than the last one, but why did they do it like that. Subtly is the best ways to build hype, when its panning over the laboratory floor with the technicians and mechanics, just have the Joe logo on the wall or something. Let the fans work it out for themselves.

That aside, this means that they have to bring Starscream and Cobra Commander together in a live action film.

More on the pacing of film, we both think they did pretty well at putting quips in the script without it feeling forced. humor wasn't used to break tension every single time, the chosen times used often balanced out with action scenes (Like the underground city part) A lot of the scenes and tropes/themes (Wrong words but idk what else) you could see coming and yes they were a bit corny and campy but in the best way possible. You could see them coming and you were excited for it and cheered when it actually happened.

This visuals were great too, from the settings to the CGI to the costumes with the extras. Just Mmm. The hologram ability was great and very near to my (Spector's) heart, the car chase with it was amazing. And the little scuttle creatures the Scourge releases give the heebie jebbies. The fur effects on the Maximals. Ahhhhhh! And the tumble down the hills in peru? Using the setting for plot devices?

I really like Noah/Mirage dynamic, very Tracks/Raoul and close to my heart, I think it could have been balanced more with showing Elena's talking with either Aziazor or Arcee, I felt like she got shoved to side quite a bit. (I really did like her character and motivation tho)

We had such a good time.

#tldr: we have very strong feelings about this but mostly good #transformers #rise of the beasts #hnnnggg and other nonsense noise #just.... aaaaaaahh #small rant

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