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xzaddyzanakinx · 2 months

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Not That Kind of Guy

Part Four: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, one-sided relationship, sexual content, pervy behavior, male masturbation, panty kink, sex daydreams [eventual warning for smut; be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin is doing his very best, he just loves you and wants you to be comfy around him. Just let him worm his way into your heart babe [diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread. I’m illiterate so apologies in advance MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: July 8th

Mr. Nelson’s funeral was today, it really was a beautiful ceremony as I look back on it. Even more so when my inner self smears the background enough to bring you to the front of the mental image.

You’d spoken to the man a handful of times, but I didn’t expect you to come. When I saw you accept the invite to the event on Facebook I thought surely it was a mistake. That was until you messaged Luke and asked him to accompany you, funerals make you nervous, but feeling obligated to do something and avoiding it makes you more nervous.

So your moral support was happy to attend and fight off dear old Alan’s corpse should he rise from the casket and set his sights on you.

And I though I had irrational fears, geez babydoll, how old were you when you watched Night of The Living Dead for the first time? If I had to guess it was too young. It’s alright though I get it, you know what movie traumatized me? The Mummy. Heebied my fucking Jeebies so bad I avoided the beach on family vacations.

You’re telling me there’s not a sarcophagus under all that sand? There’s at least one under there and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Solid ground for me only, please and thank you.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I had a thought that I initially considered to be a sweet reminder of my dear friend Alan. His obituary was in the newspaper and I happened to swipe one from the guest book table at the viewing as well. Have you ever scrapbooked before? I bet you’ve at least tried it.

Well I thought it would be nice to make him a page in my journal. A little celebration of life for the man who gave me an opportunity to grow and nurture my love for you.

Then I realized mid-glue stick on the newspaper clipping that the idea was something that a clinically insane person would do.

I’m not that guy. That guy’s not me.

But the glue was already on there and it felt wrong to toss Alan’s wrinkly old face into the trash so I pasted him into my journal anyway.

Crazy people don’t know that they’re crazy. I’m well aware that little idea was less than tasteful, just felt like I should mention that.

Date:

July 28th

Anakin Skywalker hadn’t been this happy since… ever. The previous record being his discovery of you, was now toppled into second place and overshadowed by ‘Move In Day’.

He could hardly contain himself. It was a dopamine high that he would ride out until he’d drained every last drop.

The movers lugged in box after box, furniture and books, until finally they dropped off the last load and thanked Anakin for the business. He eagerly shook their hand and shoved them out. He had preparations to make.

He set up his Tv, screen mirroring the live feed of the apartment building entrance to the big screen so that he could easily keep an eye out for you while he unpacked his kitchen.

He’d planned your ‘meet-cute’ meticulously, looking to your bookshelf and streaming services to gather intel on your ideal scenario. You were an odd bird, but he liked that about you. It’s part of your charm, it’s part of the challenge. You’re not as predictable in your tastes and interests as others can be.

Anakin formulated the interaction step by step, frame by frame in the storyboard of his imagination until he had the perfect scene. His box office hit that he’d replay over and over again until the next time he stood face to face with you.

It took quite some time and a load of practice. Discarded dialogue, awkward movements that made him feel stiff and less than human when he practiced them in the mirror. Endless options of clothes, shoes, and hair.

Should he get a new piercing? He wanted to. So he did, he knew you’d like it.

It’d match the one he already had on the opposite nostril. It made him feel more complete to add something so permanent to his body, he wished he could do something similar with you. He wanted you to be permanent, so maybe it’s his subconscious’s way of telling him that this was going in the right direction.

He was on the right path. His journey of life alone was coming to a close and a new trail would reveal itself. No more rocky, unsteady tread. No more sharp turns and blind spots, no more impossible inclines.

Scraped knees and bloodied hands would be distant memories. Maybe even distant enough that he could toss them into The Pit.

He would have no need for anger or sorrow anymore.

How could he feel anything but the warm embrace of love as he strolled down the flowered path ahead with you?

Who knew that you could position one box in 83 different ways and hate every single one of them? Anakin was so thankful there weren’t any actual surveillance cameras in the apartment building. It’d be really difficult to explain why he was in the hallway for an hour with his hands on his hips, scooting a box of books a centimeter or two at a time. Turning it sideways and then making sure the book on top was perfectly positioned and would effectively fall to the ground to catch your attention.

He checked his watch nonstop, stared at his Tv screen, willing you to just hurry the fuck up before he vomited from anxiety. He’d waited months for this. If he fucked it up now he’d… well he’d probably keel over on the spot.

Which would promptly traumatize you and not even his ghost would be able to peacefully haunt you. It’s hard to peacefully haunt someone if they watched you die, or at least Anakin assumed it would be difficult. He wasn’t willing to test that theory though.

So, he puffed up his chest and walked back into his apartment and rehearsed the upcoming conversation a few more times. He needed, desperately needed to ensure his facial expressions conveyed what he wanted.

Soft, trustworthy, dependable, safe, caring.

He practiced softening his eyes, knowing sometimes he stared alittle too hard. He worked on his facial fidget; chewing on the inside of his cheek was a quick tell of his nervousness. He didn’t want to be perceived as nervous, he wanted to be confident and sure of himself so that you would be confident in your soon to blossom affection for him.

His eyebrows, that’s a hard one, but he’d meticulously watched bar goers trying to flirt. The successful ones he learned, sometimes use their eyebrows in place of questions or words. A difficult concept, but one he studied until he mastered it.

Now, the other facial expressions and mannerisms… he gathered that information from your watch lists on your streaming services. For the visible examples at least, but your books were just as helpful in describing how he should approach you, speak to you, and simply exist near you.

He hadn’t realized these things were this important until now. Standing and posture was surprisingly very, very important to women. As well as hand movements and subtle glances and minuscule changes of expression.

You were worth the time and effort it took to learn all of it. He’d read and research and practice until he couldn’t stand to look at himself in the mirror any longer. He was determined to make sure you were happy with the results.

He was startled by a loud ping, someone had entered to building and holy shit it was you.

Anakin shook out his hands frantically, remembering the breathing techniques he’d learned as a child, he grounded himself quickly.

It’s okay.

‘She’s gonna love you. She’ll warm up to you quickly, you know everything you need to know about her to make her comfortable and loved.’

‘There’s no way she won’t fall head over heels.’

He smoothed out his band-tee and ran his hands through his hair quickly and headed to his door that was propped open slightly. A few boxes sat in the hall, including the most important one, the one instrumental to his plan.

The apartment hallway was ridiculously tiny, which worked in his favor in this situation.

He heard you come up the stairs, counted your steps until he knew you were almost at the door, 17 and a half steps. Then he swung open the door and bent down to grab one of the boxes.

As expected, he startled you and you dropped your keys. You always wore your backpack on one shoulder, one strap. So when you quickly went to scoop up your keys, your bag swung out of place and toppled a few books from one of the boxes.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Anakin could gloat to himself about his magnificent setup later, right now he needed to woo you with his sweet words.

“Oh, sweetheart I’m sorry.” He said softly, coming over to offer you a hand up.

“It’s okay, my bad.” You laughed, taking his hand.

He managed to keep calm and collected despite his insides boiling him alive at the willing skin contact.

“No, not at all. It’s my fault for startling you like that.” He chuckled, squeezing your upper arm and using his hand already in yours to give you a small handshake. Smooth.

“I’m Anakin.” He said with a bashful smile, dropping your hand and reveling in the lingering warmth your palm left on his.

You introduced yourself in return, gesturing to his apartment door.

“So I take it that you’re my new neighbor huh?” You said, making small talk as you crouched down to pick up the books you’d knocked over.

“No I’m just a one man moving crew.” He grinned.

“Very funny.” You laughed, standing up as you looked through the titles. “Hmm, you’ve got good taste.”

“You think so?” He asked, remembering to make his eyebrows swoop up toward the middle of his forehead to give a quizzical look.

“Oh yeah, this is one of my favorites.” You said, showing him the cover of The Silmarillion by Tolkien.

“Not many people actually read that one, I’m impressed.” He smiled.

“Impressed? Yeah well I’m jealous.” You laughed.

“What?” He chuckled, holding his hands out to take the other books from you.

“This is a really nice edition, it’s similar to mine. I recently lost it.” You sighed. “I think I must’ve left it the park or maybe it fell out of my bag or something.”

“Ah, that sucks… well, I mean I’ve read that one a few times now. It’s been well loved.” He said tipping the books in his arms toward the one you were holding. “Why don’t you keep it?”

He shrugged, acting nonchalant as though this didn’t mean the entire world to him and if you said no he’d sob about it later.

“You’re serious?” You asked in surprise, he was offering you a 50$ special edition book and you’d barely known him for a minute.

“Yeah, ‘course sweetheart.” He said with a cute, crooked smile. “Think of it as a… reverse house warming gift.” He chuckled.

“Thank you, I- this means a lot to me.” You said, grinning widely. “That’s real sweet of you Anakin. I owe you one.”

“No worries.” He chuckled, “I’m sure we’ll find a way to make it even sweetheart.” His gaze flickered quickly from your eyes to your lips, and he turned to go back into his apartment after giving you an almost-missed wink.

You stepped inside your home, and went straight to the bookshelf to put your new-to-you book where it belonged. After the fact you stood there and buffered, just staring at it.

‘There’s no way, this guy has to be too good to be true.’

But he seemed… so genuine. He didn’t ogle you, he didn’t make you feel weird or like he just felt obligated to speak to you.

He seemed to actually, really be a good guy.

Rare. Few and far of those exist in this day and age. It’s uncommon to meet someone who would do something, even as simple as giving you a used book, without expecting anything in return.

But he didn’t seem to expect anything. He didn’t seem to even expect a thank you, it was like he’d already decided he would give it to you before he even offered.

What are the odds that a hot, tattooed and pierced man moves in next door and gifts you an expensive book that just so happens to be an even better replacement for the one that you just lost? That couldn’t happen twice even if you tried to make it happen again.

What kind of second dimension did you step into? The land of dreamy men?

Diary Entry: July 28th

It’s late. But I have to write to you, it can’t wait til tomorrow.

Everything went more perfectly than I could’ve imagined. Thank you so much for being you sweet girl. It made my job of curating the scenery so much easier, you clumsy little thing. I am sorry for having to spook you though, but it worked didn’t it?

Research pays off. Always.

And of course there’s the issue of your book, I hated to see your frustration and your mad scowl when you realized it was missing from your backpack. I really did.

But I’d do it every goddamn day if I knew I’d get the same reaction out of you from giving you that new copy.

Oh god you’re… you’re beautiful. You’re so beautiful. You look angelic when you sleep but you look like competition for Aphrodite when you smile at me.

You smiled, grinned. You smiled all the way up to the corners of your bright and beautiful eyes. For me.

You even laughed for me.

It was so sweet I could taste it. The honey of your voice, I could fucking bathe in it. Just the sound of you speaking, knowing you were speaking to me. Really speaking to me.

In the flesh.

It’s intoxicating. It’s emboldening, it’s dangerous. I’ve never been more worked up in my life. I’m torn all to pieces from at two minute and 6 second conversation.

I think I’ll have to fucking recover from this like a damn hangover.

But what has me so drunk you might ask? Was it your laugh at my stupid jokes? Was it your perfect smile, your radiant glow, your soulful eyes? The softness of your skin or you willingness to let me touch you?

No baby. It’s how you said my name.

I wish I could’ve stayed longer, I wish I could’ve spoken to you more. But it’s so hard to concentrate when my dick is leaking precum down my leg at a rate that should probably be concerning.

The minute you closed that door I shoved those boxes into my apartment and locked the door. Took my elated ass straight to the couch and watched you in your living room, admiring your gift from me while I fucked my fist with a pair of your dirty panties in my mouth.

I couldn’t have your honeyed lips soothing my angry red cock just yet, but I sure as hell could imagine licking your gorgeous little cunt while I tasted you.

I tugged my balls and pumped my cock for over half an hour until I was a fucking mess for you in my new living room’s floor. The cool hardwood letting the heat from my flushed skin seep away from me as I came back down to earth.

I made myself dizzy. Didn’t give myself a break, didn’t slow down, just stroked my cock like the desperate little manwhore that I am for you. The only thing missing was you being there to watch me fall apart.

I think you’d like that wouldn’t you? Watching a man like me get on his knees and beg for you?

Diary Entry: July 29th

I’ve replayed that moment in my head for hours on end. The beginning always stays the same, but the ending… that’s been subject to many changes. It started off simple, we’d chat alittle longer, I’d ask you how your day was; you’d tell me it was ‘fine, thank you’.

Or you’d ask me why I decided to move in, why I chose this side of town, this side of town, this apartment building, across from you. That one always ended questionably and I’d rather not explore that one on paper.

My favorites however were the ones where you’d laugh at a stupid pick-up line and somehow we’d end up in your bed. The bed I’ve sat and watched you sleep in. Those were the best additions.

Now, I’ve been fortunate enough that you’ve been loyal, faithful and devoted to only me since the very beginning. So I don’t really have a clue what you’d actually be like in bed.

But god it’s so fun to imagine it.

You’ve got such pretty, soft skin. You let me mar it up with my teeth and soothe it with my tongue. You let me grip the pillowy flesh of your thighs to spread you open for me. You let me pinch and roll and pull your nipples until they were raw and begging for a break. You let me caress the sensitive slick covered folds between those beautiful pussy lips, plunge my fingers in as far as they’d go.

I took you from behind, watching your perky little ass bounce off my cock while I plowed into you. Your face smushed against the couch cushions and your body folded over the arm rest for me to fuck you like the good little girl that you are.

Against the wall with your arms around my neck while I’ve got my hands holding you spread open and in place by the crook of your knees. You promised you stay real still so that I could drill up into you like you deserved.

God damn. Do you know how good you look like that? Back arched against the wall, tits jiggling in my face with every thrust. Your legs pushed up and back to the sides of your torso, to pin you in place?

It was like a pretty pink flower had bloomed and spread its buttery smooth petals just for me.

Don’t even get me started on how good you suck cock. Have you ever been told you could be mistaken for a warm, wet Hoover? No? Didn’t think so cause that would be rude as hell, but I bet someone’s thought it before.

(Me. It’s me, I thought that.)

Fuck those soft lips. Fuck that smooth snake of a tongue. Fuck that tight, hot throat that just loves to take a beating from my dick.

Can’t wait to prove my imagination right.

Speaking of, my dick has been beat. Like actually. If one didn’t know any better they’d assume it’s on life support, but I’m a freak of nature. Cumming upwards of 16 times in the span of 40ish hours would probably put a weaker man in a hospital bed. Or maybe a psych ward.

But I am not a weak man even if my dick feels raw. I’d still fuck you if you asked.

I’d be curious to know if I’d be able to stave off cumming longer from all the abuse or if I’d be so fucking sensitive that I wouldn’t make it in half an inch.

Probably the latter.

Diary Entry: August 2nd

Being so close to you is killing me. Truly it is.

You’ve sunken your claws so deeply into my very soul and you don’t even realize it. It’s torture. To you, I’m just the new guy, nice dude who gave you a book. But to me? You’re my entire world.

I’ve been told I have the personality of a guard dog. Soft and squishy on the inside, dangerous and fierce on the outside. Which I suppose could be true, but really I think it’s for a different reason. For a human, a dog is one small but very impactful blip in your life. But for the dog? You are it’s life.

Am I comparing myself to a dog right now? Yes I am.

I’ll beg for you to throw me the scraps of your affections until you finally toss me a bone.

Bark.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I’ve been trying my best to give you space. To plan accordingly and in advance. I have our next two interactions simmering on the back burner.

I know that if I go too hard, too fast, you’ll be overwhelmed. That’s the last thing I want. I never want to be the thing that causes you stress, I want to siphon it from you. So, in one week I will set out to help you with a few of your errands and plant a few seeds.

But until then, we have late night snacks and couch chats with Boogie.

I’ve also been doing- you guessed it- more research to do with helpful vitamins and medicines. You’ve responded so well to your SleepyTime tea and since I’ve started making sure your birth control packet is plainly visible in the countertop basket directly beneath that cabinet, you’ve been taking it so well.

I’m so proud of you sweetheart, that’s my girl, look at you taking care of yourself. You’ve done so well in fact, that it’s in my personal opinion that you have earned a very special reward.

Anakin sat on his couch, the live feed of your living room screen mirrored to his Tv. He was watching you cook dinner, he knew you’d be making a stir fry. He’d seen it in your planner, so he’d taken the liberty of ordering himself the same, it’d be here any minute. As would your good friend Sam.

Anakin had originally burned red hot with jealousy at the thought of you inviting a man over to your apartment, that he hadn’t vetted via social media and a quick drop-in. But he was relieved to discover that Sam was just a girl from your book club.

This wasn’t one of his well thought out plans, this was decided upon this morning after you’d returned from book club. So, he was anxious to see if his hunches served him well. Sam seemed like a punctual gal, at least from what he’d seen on social media and the text messages between the two of you from weeks/months before.

Anakin had the wonderful idea to log into your cell service providers website to pull your deleted messages from their data bank. You really should have better passwords.

The thing he was most worried about was his door dasher arriving on time. It was rare that one was too far off on arrival time, but it would be his shit luck and lack of planning that could ruin this little glimpse of you.

The minutes ticked by and he was alerted to the new motion sensors he’d placed near the LED pathway lights on the paved entrance to the apartment building. He quickly switched over to the hallway feed at the front door, seeing that it was his door dasher.

Damn you Trevor. How dare you get there before Sam.

Not to worry, he’d call for the door code and Anakin wouldn’t answer the first time. It wasn’t much but it would buy him a few seconds.

Though it seemed to be that luck was on his side as it often was when it came to you. Sam was so kind, kind enough to let the delivery guy into the building. Which is technically a security concern but Trevor didn’t seem like the type of guy who’d be able to remember a 6 digit door code.

He was too busy staring at your friends ass to pay attention to the numbers she entered anyway.

The footsteps approached your door and his, Anakin waited until he heard Sam knock on your door before he opened his. Trevor stood patiently as Anakin slowly counted out his tip in cash and thankfully you were quick to let your friend inside. After the exchange was complete Anakin gave you a smile and wave.

He could’ve had a heart attack at the response you gave him.

A flirty little finger waggle and smile.

He had to remind himself to breathe and keep his expression a happy-neutral. He’d hate for you to see his blushing cheeks this early on.

“Have a good night girls.” He said as he closed his door and to his surprise you actually answered.

“You too!”

If he weren’t confident that you were a sweet and loving soul, he’d think you were trying to kill him with the siren song of your voice.

Stir fry had never tasted so fucking good.

Diary Entry: July 8th

Grocery day baby, here I come.

I love that you’re so predictable. I love that you’re so fucking cute and always try to strong arm your groceries in one trip. I love that it takes at least two good whacks to the trunk of your shitty old Nissan to properly close it.

It’s cute to watch you struggle with it, the annoyed huffs and angry scowl.

I thought you’d combust on the spot once when your paper grocery bag of flour and sugar ripped open and sent a plume of flour up on your black jeans. The parking lot was very empty and I was very glad because I’d hate for someone to have seen the cursing contest you had with yourself as you picked up your spilled items. Very unladylike you know. But it’s you so I don’t mind, I just like to hear you talk.

It’s almost time. I’ve been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes. Gotta account for the traffic on highway 76. Do you really have to shop all the way out there just because of the Whole Foods? C’mon baby they have the same shit at Kroger.

I’ve been watching your little blue dot on my phone and you’re rounding the corner so I’ll write you later doll.

I love you.

You pulled into the parking lot and sat in your car for a moment. Giving yourself the much need quiet to decompress from your work day and the grocery trip. After you’d checked your messages and scrolled for a moment you decided it was time to head inside before your frozen foods got… not so frozen.

You popped the trunk and fumbled with the faulty latch, your fingers feeling blindly under the metal lip until it finally detached and you were able to open the trunk.

You took a deep breath and scolded yourself for buying the extra few things that could’ve waited till next time. Second trips are for wimps and you weren’t one. So you loaded up your left arm bag by bag until you heard a humored puff of air and the beep of a car locking behind you.

“Need a hand sweetheart?” Anakin grinned, shoving his keys into his front pocket.

He waltzed over and took a few bags off your hands without waiting for a response. It took you aback, not because he hadn’t waited for permission, but because of the way he exuded an odd charm that made you falter.

“Anakin, really it’s alright I can get it.” You said, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion by his kind gesture.

“Mmm no, this seems like a two man mission sweet girl.” He smiled, gathering up a few the last few bags from the trunk and shutting it with one solid push.

“You really don’t have to-“

“I know I don’t have to.” He said tilting his head toward the apartment building to encourage you to walk with him. “I want to.”

“Thank you, that’s… thanks.” You smiled, a light blush creeping across your cheeks.

“Atta girl.” He chuckled, tapping in the door code and holding it open for you despite holding many more bags than you.

Something about the low tone of voice or maybe just the way he looked at you with his icey blue eyes… just sent a chill down your spine. A quick one that was gone in an instant, replaced by a warm glow in the center of your chest.

“Guess chivalry’s not dead.” You joked.

“I’m no knight.” He laughed, “but you’re sure as hell a princess.”

‘Oh that was smooth.’ You thought, trying to ignore the heat at the bottom of your stomach.

What is happening? How on earth can one man be so… everything? Kind, caring, chivalrous and gorgeous to boot.

You felt a wave of embarrassment at the squeaky giggle you let out. He had you tore up from one little comment.

True to the gentleman he seemed to be, he chose not to push it and tease you about your beet red cheeks. He just waited patiently for you as you unlocked your door.

“Do you want me to bring these in for you?” He asked, watching your movements closely.

“Oh that would be great.” You said in relief, leading him into your kitchen.

“Cute little place.” He said, looking around the kitchenette and over to the living room.

He sat down your bags on the counter and started unloading them neatly into rows.

“Oh, you-“

“Mmm mmm.” He shook his head with a smirk, “Just let me help, it’s no big deal.”

You let out a puff of air in an amused sort of amazement and pulled out your little step stool to open up the cabinets. Anakin snickered from behind you as you stepped up and started putting things away.

You shot him a glare over your shoulder and almost said something snarky until you realized he was folding your paper grocery bags in the same way that you always do.

“Huh.” You laughed. “I thought I was the only one who did that.”

“Did what?” He asked, his head cocked to the side.

“Fold the bags.” You said, turning back around to continue placing your things where they belonged.

“Oh,” he chuckled, “I dunno it’s just a habit I guess. Fits better in that stupid slot on the recycling bin this way.”

“Yeah I never really understood why they made them that way? I guess so people don’t just shove other trash in there.” You mused.

“Mmhm probably.” He agreed, stacking them neatly and gathering it in his hands. “Do you want me to take these out back for you?”

“I can do-“ You stopped yourself when Anakin raised his eyebrow and cocked his head to the side with a crooked smirk.

You sighed and gave him a downturned smile. “Yes, I would love for you to take them out back for me.”

“Good girl.” He nodded, clicking his tongue and heading for the door. “See ya princess.”

After he shut the door you let yourself breathe alittle easier, blowing out the air in a short puff through your nose. Maybe even letting a little smile cross your lips before you finished up your task.

You’d be thinking about that low rumble of his voice later. Good girl? Shit.

PART FIVE

Tag-List:

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thisisthinprivilege · 10 months

Note

How can I overcome internalized fatphobia? How can I not hate what I look like when I'm fat?

This is going to be a different process for everyone, so I'm not sure what will work for you. I will let you know what worked for me, and hopefully you find it helpful.

Deprogramming Step One: Coming to grips with having been programmed in the first place. Beauty standards change from age to age, they are not inborn as far as our research is able to conclude. There's perhaps a weak preference for facial symmetry, but that's about it. Weight-based beauty standards have not only varied wildly through human history, they vary in our very own era, between-cultures. Often what we believe we find beautiful has been programmed into us from a very early age. There's no conspiracy, it's simply how cultural preferences are transmitted within-culture: through the adults we look up to, media, and reinforced by peers. That's not to say deprogramming is a simple matter. It's very difficult. I wonder now, almost 15 years after starting my own journey to deprogram myself, whether who I find beautiful or attractive is rooted in beauty standards I saw reflected as a kid or teen.

Deprogramming Step Two: Define and avoid thin-centric messaging. A big part of this for me was controlling the media I consumed. I unsubscribed to cable, for instance, because of the intrusive and omnipresent weight loss ads. That was 15 years ago, but it's surprising how similar some streaming services/channels are in terms of ad length and intrusiveness these days. Unfortunately, tiktoks/reels aren't entirely controllable. Even though I don't consume weight loss or diet content, weight loss/diet tiktoks/reels pop up occasionally. Besides ads, you should also consider whether your magazines, books, movies, and shows over-focus on the stories of thin people, or demonize fat people. Obviously, stop watching exploitative shows that turn the lives of fat people into sideshows or sob stories. More controversially, you might want to temporarily unsubscribe or mute fat activist content. Fat activism is a highly stressful space where we confront the hatred of fat people explicitly. It's not great for deprogramming thin-centric messaging, because fat activists will be talking about thin-centric messaging from a critical perspective. Take a break, for a while.

Deprogramming Step Three: Exposure to fat-positive content. This is the fun part of the process, where you get a chance to rewrite the aesthetic coding in your brain! I suggest searching out fat models who wear the kind of clothing you like, fat role models who share your interests, fat positive videos showcasing fat people doing amazing things, fat positive art, fat positive fiction and movies, and so on. Fatshion is full of fat positivity. Be wary of "body positive" content, as it can still be subtly or explicitly fatphobic. I warn you, after a few months of exposure to a different aesthetic, thin-centric media is gonna look hella strange. You'll go to see some romcom-flavor-of-the-month movie and be like, "Where are all the fat people? Why is everyone super skinny?"

Deprogramming Step Four: From theory to practice. This step is about starting to wear the clothes you want to wear, being loud and proud to exist as a fat person in public, being romantically bolder if romance is your thing, being more assertive and confident in your body, traveling to the places you've always wanted to go, doing things you were holding back doing before, etc. You may need to dwell in Step Three for a while, or revisit it over and again, in order to complete Step Four. This doesn't mean becoming an activist. This means becoming your authentic self without fat-related qualms. Yes, you will still be constrained by the greater world around you. Traveling, going out to eat, dating, interviewing for jobs, even going to a fucking concert will present constraints and bigotries that smaller people (everything else held equal) don't have to face. But you can now see them as constraints placed on you, not as constraints you place on yourself or that are in any way deserved. Hopefully, you will be able to face them without it destroying your sense of self-worth.

Deprogramming Step Five: The authentic self...? We know that as fat people we are not morally or otherwise inferior to thin(ner) people. So what does it mean to leave our best and most authentic lives, as fat people? This is the human question, that all humans share with each other equally. We are connected to each other, each on our own grand journey to answer this question. When you are able to separate the sociocultural difficulty of being a fat person in a fat-hating society from your own life journey, you have one less barrier to manage in answering the great human question. At this stage, you'll feel calm and comfortable in your body, and surprised when people point out your fatness or treat you differently for it. They're distracted by false moral categories, while you have better things to do. Does anyone ever permanently dwell in this stage? Probably not. But I feel like this most of the time, now. It takes a lot to drag me back into the world where one of the worst things you can call another human is "fatty." I've got books to read and write, math to learn, art to create. A life to live, where my possibilities are not defined by the size of my body.

-ArteToLife

#thin privilege #thin-centric society #deprogramming fat hatred #fat positivity #fat acceptance #fat activism #tips for overcoming fatphobia

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kencoded-kengirl · 10 months

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ULTIMATE SWIFTIECESSION MASTERPOST

does kendall roy listen to taylor swift? was willa ferreyra actually sighted at the eras tour? why did stewy hosseini post “STREAM SPEAK NOW TAYLOR’S VERSION” on his instagram story last night? these are all questions that have haunted the minds of succession fans since the show’s creation. you might not know who the biggest swiftie in succession is, but that’s okay, because i do. jesse armstrong informed me personally, and i will now relay this vital information to all of you: from most devoted fan to the most casual of listeners, here are the top ten swifties of hbo’s succession.

1. KERRY CASTELLABATE

kerry loves taylor swift and listens to her unironically almost constantly. she thinks that the last great american dynasty was written about her. she abuses taylor swift music in order to romanticize her relationship with logan. she got bangs to be more like taylor. no other deserves the title of most avid swiftie at waystar.

2. SOPHIE ROY

sophie is technically a bigger fan than kerry but she is way less sick in the head about it. she’s just a little girl who loves taylor whose rich deadbeat dad got her eras tour tickets for her birthday because he can’t remember any of her other interests. (rava and iverson roy honorable mentions, they went to the eras tour together.)

3. EBBA

ebba is convinced that taytay wrote would’ve could’ve should’ve specifically about the fact that her ex will not stop sending her frozen bricks of his own blood. sometimes, if you’re hanging out with her, she’ll ask if you want to watch something, and then she’ll put on the all too well ten minute version music video like it’s a movie. feels a sense of devastation over the fact that taylor doesn’t have tour dates in sweden until 2024.

4. NAOMI PIERCE

in season four when kendall said that his relationship with naomi was a “carnival of mindfuck,” he was referring to the fact that they were once texting and he let it slip that he “doesn’t know why taylor keeps rereleasing albums” and that he’s “just going to keep listening to the originals because they’re better,” and then naomi blocked him on everything and they literally haven’t spoken since.

5. WILLA FERREYRA

willa also thinks the last great american dynasty is about her. she listens to taylor’s music religiously but doesn’t actually care about any of the relationship drama or even the politics. she was super excited that taylor was in the cats, though, (it’s her favorite musical) and genuinely defends the movie’s quality.

6. GREGORY HIRSCH

greg is a social swift listener. he definitely likes her music and has playlists, but, frankly, he mainly just likes understanding tiktok discourse. it’s his life goal to get rich enough to run in the same social circles as her, meet her, and live out a taylor swift x yn fanfiction fantasy in real life. also, he is pretty sure the last great american dynasty is about tom. or himself.

7. KARL MULLER

this started as a joke because the old guard have been colleagues and waystar employees for 30+ years and there comes a time when you need to branch out to make your work background playlists nonrepetitive. gerri started putting taylor songs on their playlist mainly because her daughter, peti, said that she should, and karl slowly but surely became a huge fan.

8. STEWY HOSSEINI

make no mistake, stewy does not like taylor swift. he would sooner die than be caught with a taylor song on a playlist he actually listens to. however, if stewy is 1 thing in this life, that thing is a male manipulator. as a result, he has cultivated an extensive swiftie persona complete with favorite songs, albums, and knowledge of discourse, which he uses to pick up swifties at bars. he has 1 taylor swift playlist that he sends to people like “i made this about us 🥺💕” but he actually just renames and reuses it every time he meets someone new. he has cried while listening to folklore once on accident.

9. ROMAN ROY

roman also does not organically listen to taylor swift. he is trying the male manipulator false swiftie strategy as well but he cares less and is exponentially worse at it than stewy, because he has never in his life been attracted to a taylor swift fan. he tried it on tabitha and she earnestly threatened to break up with him if he was a real taylor swift fan. he tried in on gerri when she wasn’t really paying attention and she said, “what is this? i think my daughters listen to this,” which gave roman such a severe ick he never brought it up again. he tried it on matsson as well, but it made him think of ebba and he ghosted roman for a week.

10. SHIV ROY

shiv thinks the last great american dynasty is about her. she’s not necessarily invested but she knows the songs that play on the radio. shiv has actually personally met taylor and they don’t get along. she also actively believes that taylor dating matty healy was worse than taylor’s private jet usage qualifying her as a climate criminal. she has used word-for-word quotes from getaway car while arguing with tom.

DISCLAIMER: this list was not made by a swiftie. if it seems like bullshit, that’s because it is.😄👍

#succession #succession hbo #taylor swift #kerry castellabate #sophie roy #ebba #ebba succession #naomi pierce #willa ferreyra #greg hirsch #karl muller #stewy hosseini #roman roy #shiv roy #I don’t even know what this really is but I was pissing myself making it sooo #amperspeaks

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catwouthats · 2 months

Note

Do you know how I can watch stuff that’s usually on Disney plus in a way that doesn’t give them money?

Yes!

I have four answers for that!

1) Your local library

I know that not everyone is comfortable with pirating. The good news is that, nowadays, some libraries will let you borrow streaming services! I’d ask your library if they have something like that available (it’s usually a firestick) and if not, ask if any other libraries connected to your main one have it.

Also, even if they don’t have the streaming service, usually they have some sort of way to rent out movies or shows (weather online or in person)

And my dear college and information yearning friends, libraries have many databases and textbooks you can use for free!

2) A friend

Sometimes, someone else is already paying for it. Maybe a friend’s sibling or parent is paying for their whole family. Or maybe that person is paying themselves (Of course you wish they wouldn’t give money to them, but sometimes no amount of talking will stop them unfortunately). You could ask a friend, online or not, to share their account/family account with you!

3) Watch parties

A group of people coming together to save money/boycott shitty things. What’s better than that?

Online: Sometimes people will sharing their watching experience online. Usually on discord, tiktok, or instagram. You can join, you just of course have to find the accounts/servers that host these watch parties. I’d ask around on Reddit in order to find servers to join that do movie nights.

In real life: Also, you could get a group of friends/a club together to watch something on someone’s TV or some shit (some people even have those phone projector things so it actually feels like the theater). This is especially a good option if you’ve tried everything else and don’t want to personally resort to piracy… but might have a friend who’d do that for you…

You can find clubs at libraries, schools, colleges, and even retirement homes btw.

4) Pirating (of course)

To some people this might seem scary (because it runs the risk of viruses and and such), meanwhile, others might not even know how to pirate.

Here is how to pirate and precautions you should take when doing so:

Try to have an ad blocker (you don’t have to, it’s just an extra layer of protection. You probably should have one though)

You can use your phone instead of a computer, just know that it WILL fuck your phone up a little (personally I use my phone bc my computer is much more prone to viruses and information leaks. Ive been doing this for years and my phone’s fine… unless my storage gets near full/I have too many tabs open.)

Some internet providers may block you from using pirate websites on Google or Safari. I use Yandex as a search engine to get around this. With Yandex all I have to do is search “[movie name] watch now” and it will instantly come up for free.

Usually you can look up common pirate/free sites online and you’ll get some okay sites. Personally I use moviesjoy.is for live action movies/shows, readcomiconline.li for comics, and wcostream.tv for anime/cartoons.

Always ALWAYS X out the pop up tabs and close out things that say “you need to download this first” YOU DO NOT NEED TO DOWNLOAD ANYTHING FIRST (usually. Some websites do have downloadable versions… personally I don’t use those bc it risks viruses.)

Sometimes X ing out doesn’t work. you will have to reload the page or wait like 5-10 seconds for the X (or for “close”) to appear. It can appear in any corner of the screen. Sometimes even the middle of the screen. Like middle center or some shit.

It could take you between 1-10 tabs/pop ups to close before you’re actually able to access the shit. Especially if you don’t have an ad blocker. Be patient.

Going incognito mood would help keep your info safe… but personally I find it doesn’t make a difference. Doesn’t hurt to be extra careful though.

Also, would not recommend looking at questionable things on pirate sites on a library computer/property. Even if you clear history, the library knows. (They didn’t gaf that I used readcomiconline to read some comics on their firebook thingy. It’s just… know that they know.)

#piracy #pirate that shit #protect public libraries #books & libraries #boycott disney #boycotting #boycott israel #Marvel #boycott marvel

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iwsynttr-project · 2 months

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WAAAHHH I just saw people have been posting about the project on Pinterest???

THANK YOU???

I am so pink oh my goodness aaa

I'll give some updates then so people know we're not just slackin', haha;;

This past week we've been hella busy with church, school, trying out programs, still figuring out the whole learning to drive thing, stuff with disability, etc... but especially with Valentine's Day & Moose's birthday.

CJ came up to visit which was really special & we got to eat out & get boba all together which was super nice as he doesn't live too close by ever since we moved a few years back.

I recently got most of my m3dz figured out so I might be able to start hrt within the next year, & it sounds like the date has been set for CJ & I to get married this April 29th!

On top of all this we recently found out that a couple other plans have been thrown into the mix:

Our folks are planning to head out for a week a few states away to spend time with family & celebrate our twin cousins' birthday & then they'll be goin to Medieval Times for Moose's birthday possibly with another friend or cousin.

My mom & I are gonna try & see a show with CJ & his mom if they're able to come for my 21st birthday (Which is March 13th!) & CJ's birthday is at the start of April.

Right before our wedding is my dad's birthday & we're gonna see another live performance in another state, & then right afterwards a few days later is gonna be the wedding.

We're just gonna make it small & Soukoku themed, but maybe years later from now when we're livin' alone & financially stable we might do a bigger more official wedding. We'll renew our vows, maybe have custom made suits, special stuff like that.

Somethin' we're hopin' to do is for the small one we might make custom Lego Minifigures to be in front of/above the cake & then if we save up... the four-six hundred bucks... we wanna get the Soukoku "wedding" figurines that came out a bit ago.

It's a dream.

Anyways, as for the actual project!

I'm still working on the script when I have time, I just got stumped since we don't have Golden Demon written yet- but I managed to come up with some content to fill in for during or after the scene plays out for now & continued from there.

Moose has decided to try & make two versions of Life's Better With A Little Party In It: one that's a trashy pop song, & one that's his own take on the song based on artists like YOASOBI. (Into the Night, Monster, Idol, etc...)

We're also thinking about making a Cover Album on the side to go with the soundtrack just for fun with covers of songs from bands & artists like ONE OK ROCK & Set It Off.

I'm still thinking I might go for making The I Was Screaming Your Name Through the Radio Project into an episodic animatic series, but with everything going on I might wait to record the actual script & songs until we've got most of the script & songs written out more at the least if not also until after I get a better microphone & possibly start injections. (Maybe I'll still do the first few chapters since they're just teens anyways but meh whatever; we'll see.)

I did do a drawing while I was free last night though & have been talking with my dad who's voice is basically his life & career about vocal training of sorts or if I should find classes online or something along those lines for it.

(Back to the drawing) I made a concept design for Moose's online/music persona AquaticSnow & a possible first EP/Album cover. I'm not sure I'll post it (yet?) since he might use it for stuff like his avatar, channel/s, music, etc but if I do it'll be on my personal main Tumblr, Instagram, & probably Deviantart & Twitter/X.

I'm also nervous about somebody tryin' to steal the art &/or concept.

Another reminder that I do have a personal server where I stream drawing, gaming, sometimes reading & writing, watch parties (movies, shows, etc...) & I post planning & updates for the project there!

.:Charli's Discord Server:.

( Don't forget to pick roles & read the rules! Otherwise you can't see the other chats;; )

Sorry 'bout the long post, haha;; we hope you all had a great Valentine's Day!

Charli

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juyeoniemyhoney · 2 years

Text

magic shop

Taehyun doesn't have any superpowers. But when it comes to you, he'd stop time and so much more.

pairing: kang taehyun x reader

genre: fluff, angst (i guess), hurt/comfort

warnings: y/n is just a tad bit depressed

word count: 1740 words

A/N: ah yes an extremely self-indulgent fic while i blatantly ignore my ongoing series that has been un-updated for more than two months. anyways, please enjoy this fic that i wrote after i lost my mind because of good boy gone bad. stream thurday's child everyone.

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It's three in the morning when Taehyun joins you on the couch.

He doesn't seem too happy to be awake, nor does he seem particularly happy about having to get out of bed to coax you back into it. But Taehyun is patient and kind, so he quietly takes his seat beside you and waits.

As the silence stretches on, Taehyun grows more impatient, wondering what is weighing so heavy on your mind that you refuse to tell him. But he remains as patient as he can, knowing full well that forcing you to tell him would only keep you out of your shared bed longer. So, he waits.

He waits as the clock continues to tick, he waits with your head against his shoulder, he waits with you wrapped snugly around his arm. He waits until it is nearly four in the morning and Taehyun's eyes cannot bear to keep awake any longer. Waits until he is falling closer and closer to the edge of unconciousness before you finally speak.

"I wish I could go back," you finally say, much to Taehyun's surprise. Your words jolt him awake and his mind, too tired to work, doesn't even bother to think about why.

"Go back to when?"

You pause and ponder your answer.

"To when I was happy," you finally confess, holding Taehyun's arm closer to your torso. Taehyun takes a deep breath and leans his head on top of yours, sure yet so unsure of how he should respond.

"I don't even know how to explain it," you start again, not leaving Taehyun enough time to process his own reply. "It's not like I'm not happy. I mean I have you—" Taehyun can't help but smile when you mention him as one of your sources of happiness.

"—but I still feel so..." you pause, not quite knowing what word would best describe how you feel in this moment.

"Empty?" Taehyun offers, taking your hand in his and tenderly rubbing his thumb along your knuckles.

"It's like I don't look forward to anything anymore. I just want to stay in this moment. I don't want to have to go to school anymore, I don't want you to have to go to school either. I just want time to stop and for us to live in our house and be with each other and for the future to never come."

Taehyun remains quiet. He wants time to stop too, desperately so. He loves you and the beautiful relationship, home and life he has built with you over the past two years. He loves waking up and seeing you the first thing in the morning, loves coming home together with you from your university campus and making hot tea for two in your shared kitchen. He loves snuggling up next to you while the two of you watch a movie in between your hectic schedules, even though both of you know that the movie will most likely remain unfinished for the next month. If he could, he would take that nasty ticking clock off that wall and take out the batteries, stopping time because he is with you and you are with him and there is nothing else in this world that he needs.

But Taehyun has always been the more optimistic one in your relationship. Because then, he is thinking about your future, one where there is a ring on your finger and people call you by his last name. One where smaller, tinnier versions of the both of you bound around a family home, giggles and laughs and happiness surrounding the two of you in such a thick haze, Taehyun almost thinks it's real.

And suddenly, he's shoving the batteries back into that battered clock and he's willing time on, desperately willing every day to go faster so that he can finally get down on one knee, so that he can see you swollen with his child, so that he can have a future with you where the two of you are so beyond joy that neither of you can barely believe any of it is real.

Taehyun doesn't know how to tell you that. But he tries anyway.

"Y/N?" he finally speaks for the first time since he'd been rudely awakened by the absence of your warmth. His voice comes out gruffer and more hoarse than the both of you anticipate and Taehyun finds himself swallowing his saliva before he continues softly.

"You know, happiness isn't only in the past."

Taehyun, though he is beyond exhausted lifts his head from yours and gently pulls you off his arm, turning his body to face you as he takes your hands in his and gazes so lovingly and patiently into your eyes you wonder what wars you must have stopped to deserve a man like him.

"You can find happiness in the future too," Taehyun finishes and levels you with a sweet smile, eyes unsure if his words have had the desired effect on you.

"I know," you sigh, moving back into your previous position, with your head on Taehyun's shoulder and his fingers intertwined with yours.

Silence surrounds the two of you once again, the both of you too tired and unsure to say anything next. But you like it. Taehyun is warm and every breath he takes in and every breath he breathes out calms you down, reminds you to breathe with him. Somehow, in this moment, it feels as if time as stopped. You wish it has, you wish you could stay like this with Taehyun for eternity. The clock opposite you continues to tick, its hands mocking you with every movement they make.

Maybe you can't stop time, but Taehyun loves you and he is willing to do whatever he can to make you feel better. If that means he has to stay up way beyond his bedtime and pretend, so be it.

Abruptly, Taehyun moves to stand from the couch, gently prying you from his side as he wordlessly walks to the kitchen and puts the kettle on. Then, he disappears into the bedroom.

At first, you think you've done it. You've finally driven Taehyun to the edge of his patience. He's done dealing with your moods and your emotions and your refusal to sleep and he's going to sleep it off and break up with you in the morning. Taehyun, the most patient person you've ever met has run completely out of it and it's all because of you.

Your tears stop before they can spill over your waterline, however, Taehyun reappears with your blanket and a screwdriver. Without any explanantion whatsoever, he turns the loveseat so it is facing the window, drapes the blanket over your shoulders, wraps you all up in the blanket like a burrito then picks you up from the couch and places you gently on the loveseat, then he takes the screwdriver and heads straight for the clock.

As the kettle comes to a boil, Taehyun unscrews the back of the clock, takes out the batteries and leaves it face down on the floor. He draws open the curtains and takes all the throwpillows from their respective places on the couch and surrounds you with them. Then, he proceeds to the kitchen, fiddles around with a few things and comes back with two steaming cups of tea.

"Just for today," he says sternly before handing you your cup, carefully slotting himself between all the pillows and you, so that his arm is draped across your shoulders, your head against his shoulder once more as the two of you watch the sky.

"Just for today we'll pretend time has stopped, okay?" Taehyun says, this time gently, pressing his lips to the crown of your head as you blow the hot tea, the aroma so alluring and calming you almost fall asleep.

"Just for today?" you ask, disappointment seeping into the tone of your voice. Why can't it be everyday? Why can't the two of you just be caught in a time loop? Where the two of you just continue to repeat this lazy sunday, in each others arms, where not one second are you not skin to skin.

Taehyun puts his mug down and turns to you, his free hand coming up to tuck wisps of your hair behind your ear, thumb stroking at your cheek tenderly. His smile is small but Taehyun's eyes twinkle when he's happy and right in this moment, Taehyun's eyes are glittering so prettily you want to lean over and kiss his eyes.

"I want to marry you some day." Taehyun's confession comes out in a whisper, one almost timid in nature. "But I can't do that if we're just stuck in today, can I?"

You remain silent.

"I know it's hard, my love. But baby steps, okay?" he pauses and just continues to stare at you lovingly, thumb continuing to stroke the soft skin of your cheek. "I'll be with you every step of the way."

"I love you," you tell Taehyun, the words coming out rough and choked, your throat constricting as tears brim in your eyes. Taehyun doesn't have to deal with this. He shouldn't have to deal with your negativity and your emotions at the ass-crack of dawn. He shouldn't have to convince you to continue living your life every single time. He shouldn't have to constantly hide you away from the world. But he does anyway, holds you close to him, warm palms the epitome of comfort, softly humming a tune as time takes a backseat.

There is this idea of a mystical haven, the entrance of which is nestled against the muscles of your heart. A door only you can open, wonders inside only available to who you so choose. When you'd first heard the idea, it sounded like a panic room of sorts, a place you'd go to scream and shout and cry and sob. But now, that door looks a lot like your apartment door. And you like to think if you'd opened the door to your heart, it'd look a lot like this: A warm cup of tea, cozy blankets and soft moonlight. But most importantly, Taehyun. In all of your imagined versions of this magical place, Taehyun is always there. And as Taehyun slowly begins to fall asleep, his head against yours, you begin to think that door against your heart is already open, its magic spilling out and coating your life in illuminant gold, bit by bit.

#taehyun #txt #txt taehyun #taehyun fluff #hurt/comfort #bro this damn bad #tomorrow x together angst #tomorrow x together scenarios #tomorrow x together fanfic #tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together taehyun #taehyun fic #kang taehyun #tyun #taehyun angst???#fanfic

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sinninghowlter · 1 year

Text

Danisnotadom

Ship: Phan Rating: E Contains: collaring, pre-established relationship, very light angst, degradation, namecalling, smut, cursing, heavy language, d/s undertones, daddy kink mentioned four (4) times, use of the word "slut" Words: 5746 Summary: Dan's not a dom. Everyone swears up and down that he is, insists he is domming his boyfriend and is too good to take it in the ass.

Phil's not a sub. Everyone thinks he is, everyone thinks his baby is in charge. What they don't know is his hardcore boyfriend is actually a princess. Read it below or on AO3

This fic was a brainchild of mine back in December 2022 and finally, here it is! It wouldn't exist if not for the cheering on of the Superstarkers groupchat on Discord and my writing friend @khalixascorner!! Thank you for believing in me and this fic with two strangers you've never heard of before me. A/N: this is unbeta'd and uses 2015 phandom with 2022 dan and phil. :)

"Alright guys, Dan insists he's starving so I've gotta feed him before he eats me."

"Not like that!" Dan shouts from the other room, "I just have been in the U.S. for so fucking long that all I want is familiar food goddammit!"

"You can't swear on my live streams, Dan!!" Phil shouts back. He begins scanning the chat, hoping that a slew of messages reading "OMG PHAN!!!!1!1!" and "DOMESTIC!!!!" doesn't follow. Instead of the expected messages, he starts seeing a few, albeit more explicit, replies in the chat: 'I bet he likes it that way', 'Dan probably eats him all the time', 'We all know Phil likes his daddy to eat it.' He hides the need to frown and roll his eyes behind a smile, answering an ask about what kind of plant the followers should get. "Um... I think you should get a cactus! They're always a good choice!"

"Phil! I'm starving!! Let's gooooooooOO!!!" Dan whines, now in the doorway. Phil looks up, taking in the younger's form leaning against the white wood. Dan smirks as Phil's eyebrows raised in challenge.

'omgggg look at the way he looks at Dan!!! OTP FOR LIFEEEEEEEE', 'PHAN DOMESTIC!!!!!' the chat reads, but neither of the boys are paying any attention to Phil's live stream.

"What are you thinking for food?" Phil asks, silently hoping for pizza.

"How's pizza?" Dan murmurs, and Phil can't help but smile affectionately at his boyfriend, "I really don't wanna cook."

"Sounds good," Phil replies, trying to tune out the part of his head that hones in on the comments in the live stream about how he does anything Dan says. He's not a simp. He just likes to indulge his boyfriend after he's traversed half the world alone for the first time in 13 years. He wants Dan to feel loved, heard... safe. If that means that a handful of kids on the internet calls him #DanHowellsSlut, well that's on them.

"Text me what you want, and I will order so you can wrap up your stream!" Dan smiles, walking out of the living room and back into the office, watching the end of the stream.

"Alright guys, I guess that means it's time for me to hop off here. For real this time. Danny boy gets fussy when he's not eating carbs." Phil chuckles at his own joke, saying bye to a few people in the crowd. "See you guys next week! Bye!" He signs off the live stream, falling back against the couch, and closing the lid of his MacBook with his foot. "Fuck..." he mumbles to no one in particular. Dan texts him, and he replies mindlessly, requesting the usual from Domino's.

"Daaaaan..." Phil calls, waiting for the man to reappear in the doorway.

"Yeah? You alright?" Dan pokes his head in, eyebrows pulled together in concern. They had just been texting, what was wrong that he felt like talking in person?

"I... it's nothing." He shakes his head, deciding last minute not to bring it up to the other, "Want to watch a movie or something with our pizza?"

"Sure. We should watch something old though, I don't really have the energy for something new."

"How's Hunger Games? We both have seen that loads of times."

"Perfect. Put it on then, I think the pizza is here." He rushes to the door, tipping the person and handing the boxes to Phil. He collects the paper towels and glasses from the kitchen, sitting down on the turquoise couch next to his partner. "Lights on or off?"

"How's lamplight?" Phil replies, distracted by the flatscreen across the room. He clicks on the movie, pushing his glasses up his nose as he grabs a slice of the pizza. Dan does the same, laying his legs across Phil's lap and watches the movie.

After a few slices, Phil takes to scrolling Tumblr on his iPhone. He smiles at the screencaps from his liveshow, likes a couple of pieces of fanart of himself, and reblogs a couple of gifs for the gaming channel.

Then it happens.

He hits a group of posts commenting on how whipped he is for Dan. How submissive he is, and how good he is for Dan. He can't help but scroll through the asks on the blog, reading about how he definitely almost called Dan "daddy" in a recent video. How he definitely wanted to kiss him at 12:23 in the newest gaming video... He sighs softly, turning back to the movie, just in time to see Katniss pick up her bow for the first time.

Dan's fallen asleep by the time the credits roll. Phil can't help but smile at the man wrapped up in his pimp blanket and hugging the cloud pillow. He looks exhausted and a tiny part of his heart breaks for Dan. This is most likely the first good night's sleep he's had in weeks, and Phil can't bring himself to wake him. Carefully, he lifts Dan's socked feet off his thigh, sliding out from underneath him. Instead of turning on the next movie, he gathers the plates, cups, and paper towel roll in his arms, disappearing into the kitchen. Phil deposits the dishes in the sink, vowing to clean them tomorrow, and returns to the living room. He tiptoes past the younger man and cleans up the pizza and coke bottle, trying his hardest to avoid banging into the corner of the coffee table. Thankfully, he doesn't hit anything until he gets the pizza box into the fridge. He cringes, hoping Dan isn't awake.

"Alright, now to wake the baby..." he murmurs to himself, shutting off the light in the kitchen. He returns to the den and presses his lips to Dan's forehead. "Honey? We need to go to bed." Dan crinkles his nose and groans, curling deeper into his ball of faux fur, "Nooooo... I wanna sleep here. 's cozy!" He hides his head under the blanket, attempting to fall back asleep.

"I know, Bear, but you'll be really sore if you don't go to bed. I love you, but I also know that you will complain all day about it."

"Gee, thanks, babe," Dan smirks, finally looking at his boyfriend.

"You know I'm right. Now, c'mon. You'll feel better." Phil reaches under the blanket, pulling Dan's hand until he finally obliges and stands up.

Phil can't help but kiss his boyfriend's cheek. Somehow, even after thirteen years, he's the most handsome man he's ever met. Dan smirks sleepily, resting his head against Phil's shoulder as they stumble into the bedroom.

He tries to sleep. Really, he does. Instead, though, his brain replays the posts, tweets, and messages haunting him for the last three weeks. They've gotten worse since Dan left for tour, it's like the posters have gotten bored and tried to stir up trouble. He presses his face to the pillow sighing deeply. Dan stirs in his sleep groaning softly.

"Whatever you're overthinking over there isn't worth it. It'll still be there in the morning. Go to sleep." The brunette murmurs, nuzzling into his side. They really do know each other inside and out. He nods and closes his eyes, pretending to sleep.

"G'morning," Dan mumbles, pressing into his side, making his hardon known. It's almost a ritual for them. If the weekday ends in y, Dan or Phil will push the other for morning sex. It's a given, almost like eating cereal for breakfast. Before he can reciprocate, though, Dan is staring at him. "I love you but you look like a dead man walking. So how about I take care of you this time, sir." Dan sits up, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Baby, you don't have to... I'm fine. It's not a big deal." Phil replies, hands finding their place on his waist.

"Okay. What's actually wrong? You never turn down sex." Dan furrows his brow, brown eyes locking onto Phil's as though he can read his mind if stares hard enough.

"I just don't feel up to it right now. I'm sorry." Phil gently presses a kiss to Dan's forehead. "I promise it's not you, I just got in my head last night. It's not important."

"I understand that. It's easy to do. Would you like pancakes or cereal for breakfast?"

"Pancakes, of course," Phil replies, thankful for the change in subject. Dan climbs off the bed, ignoring his lack of shirt. "I'll be right there, baby. Don't start without me!"

"No promises! I might eat them before you get in here!" Dan calls from the hallway, disappearing around the corner. Phil pulls his glasses on his face, making the bed and buying himself time. Just to allow his brain a second of clarity before he's met with the feeling of panic when Tumblr throws another post in his face.

-_-_-_-_-_-_

He makes it two weeks before he breaks. The duo had gotten back into their usual routine, reveling in the break in the chaos. Their livestreams were returning to normal and the whole debacle was behind him. Or so he thought.

Tonight's livestream was a joint event. Both men deciding it would be the perfect Christmas present for their fans. They answered questions and it all went smoothly until he sees it. He feels Dan go tense against his arm and Phil knows he saw it too.

A single message.

Nine words.

"Shout out the "Phil Lester Is A Sub Groupchat"!"

"I think we should get indian food tonight, don't you agree? I want that vegetarian bowl I get every time. It just sounds amazing!!" Dan tries, covering the awkward silence.

He takes that moment, disguising it as listening to the older's response, to take stock of the situation. There's a sense of panic in Phil's eyes. One so small only Dan knows what it looks like. He sees something else mixed in too, something he can't quite place. It's as though exhaustion and anger mixed together and created this new thing. He subtly gives Phil a nudge, three bumps on his right hip: 'check your face.' They'd implemented it after Dan rolled his eyes at something in the chat back in 2013. They decided it was best to avoid any issues. Phil blinks a few times, smiling quickly.

"That actually does sound amazing. I really am craving it too..." Phil replies quickly, changing the subject to what games they've been playing recently.

Twenty or so minutes later, Phil interjects, "Dang it Dan, I can't stop thinking about indian food now. But I swear we always abandon these guys for food."

"I'm starving, guys. Soz." Dan laughs, "We can continue this video game discussion on Thursday on my livestream! For now though, bye guys!"

"Bye!!" Phil clicks the button to end the stream and his shoulders drop.

"What was that about? You looked upset that someone called you a sub earlier."

"I am, okay? It's been haunting me for almost a month now. I'm weirded out by the fact that people get the vibe off you that you're a dom or the sub vibe off of me. What does it matter to them?! What we do in our bedroom when the lights are off is between us."

"Or inside us." Dan jests, attempting to break the tension. It works, causing Phil to burst into laughter.

"Jesus Christ, Dannnnn." Phil scolds still smiling. "But no, it's been messing with my head all month. That's why I pushed you off the other day. I was inside my head about the idea that the fans think that you're in charge and when you offered to take the lead it panicked me a little. I was worried they saw something I didn't, and they knew something I hadn't. Like a joke I wasn't a part of." He sighs, scrubbing his palms over his eyes. "I just don't like not knowing."

"Are you not happy being a dom? Do you not want to anymore?" Dan asks, eyes locked on the rip in the denim on his thigh. There's panic in his voice, and it breaks Phil's heart

Phil sighs, raising Dan's chin, "Trust me, sweetheart, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I fucking love being your dom."

Dan's cheeks tint pink, shivering slightly, "If it makes you feel any better, I have been haunted by "#Danisadom" the entire tour. For some reason, our fans are very observant about everything else, but this is one area that they're completely oblivious to. This is #Philtops2k15 all over again. At least then they had it right..." Dan laughs lightly, hoping Phil will join in.

"I remember that! And you're right, we made it through that just like we will this. Because you're my baby, Bear. Nothing is going to change that." Phil kisses Dan gently.

"And you're my sir. But I need you to tell me when you start getting in your head again. Please tell me, Phil. I don't want you hurt." Dan replies, voice low. He presses kisses to Phil's jaw. Before they can get too heated, he pulls away, "We have a meeting in thirty minutes."

"Wha? Dan!" Phil drops his arms to his sides, following the boy with his eyes as he disappears down the hall.

"Don't tell me you forgot! You set the appointment!" Before he can inquire further, his phone dings with a notification on their shared calendar: 'collar appointment'. Dan's voice calls from down the hall, a smirk evident in the tone, "the cab will be here in fifteen. Better hurry if you want to change." The black-haired boy sighs, willing his semi to soften.

"Fucking hell." He murmurs, rising from the couch to collect his jacket and wallet. "Dan, we have to make sure no one sees us."

"They won't, Phil. We made sure to get an appointment super fucking late. I promise no one will see us."

"I know, but I don't want this to get out. I'm not ashamed of being your dom but I don't want the rest of the world to be yours as well. Yknow? I just fear that if they somehow figure out how to manipulate you, then it will become an issue, or the parents will insist we are shoving it down their precious darlings' throats..."

"Phil," Dan touches his hands to the older's shoulders, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "It will be okay, I promise! If it makes you feel better, we can frame it differently." he leads them towards the door, out to where the cab is waiting, "Yknow? If we get caught, we can say we were collaring you." He whispers the last part against the shell of Phil's ear, breath ghosting across his cheek.

"No!!!" Phil whisper-shouts, "I hate you so much!" The two laugh it off, nervousness forgotten.

Almost...

The feeling of unease resurges when they arrive at the shop. "Dan, it's just here." He mumbles, motioning at the doorway. The other man turns back, having walked past it completely.

Neither of the guys knew this place existed, but they'd passed it millions of times. It's a small shop on the west end with blackened windows and a subtle navy tint to the stucco. It blends in where you wouldn't notice it if you didn't look for it.

He pulls open the door, and the words "OWNED" catch the streetlight, dark lettering glinting.

Phil takes a deep breath, leading Dan inside.

When they enter, Phil isn't sure what he was scared of. From inside, you can barely see the streets, and the knowledge that no one else can see inside calms his soul.

Dan's in his element immediately. From the first second, he's holding Phil's hand, pointing at different materials, gemstones, and buckles. "Look at this one!"

"Welcome in, you must be Mr. Lester and Mr. Howell! Pleased to meet you! My name is Gerald Rogers, I will be doing your sizing and fitting today." Both men shake Gerald's hand, their nervousness subsiding. "You guys seem nervous, is this your first collar?"

"It is." Phil begins, wrapping his arm around Dan's hips, "We've talked about it a lot, but I decided it was the perfect Christmas present."

"Well, we will be sure to find one that suits your dynamic perfectly. To start, let's have a seat back here so I can get a feel for your dynamic." The two men nod, following Gerald to the heavy black desk.

"Alright, let's start simple and work to the heavier details." The guys nod, and Dan takes Phil's hand. A silent testament that he's there and they're safe. "What are we thinking for the budget?" Phil replies with their budget and how flexible it is. Gerald begins typing on his laptop, nodding. "Who's going to be collared today?" Dan raises his hand, blush tinting his cheek.

"He is."

"Perfect. And can you guys describe your dynamic?"

"How do you mean?" Phil asks.

"I mean, what titles do you use, how hard is your play, do you tend to get rougher than most?" Gerald raises his eyebrows, hands poised over the keyboard.

"Well, the titles we use most for Dan here are 'baby, honey, sweetheart....' The soft stuff. And then for me--"

"I use "Sir" more than anything. We do joke around with 'daddy' but I don't really want that included this time." Gerald nods, updating his notes. He smiles encouragingly, waiting for the boys to continue.

"Are you wanting to have an all-the-time collar or just a play collar?"

"We are definitely looking for just a play collar. Our fans wouldn't take kindly to Dan suddenly wearing a heavy collar." Phil laughs lightly.

"Fans?" Gerald asks, casually.

"We're YouTubers. I presume you won't release to our fans what we're up to? Our relationship is kind of a personal secret they aren't aware of."

"I promise, discretion is one of the main things I promise with my services."

"Perfect," Dan states, hand squeezing Phil's.

"And are you two rough with your play? I don't mean physically, I mean are you guys planning on attaching leashes, pulling on the collar, or leading by it?"

"We were planning to try implementing it, does the collar hold up to that?"

"Oh, easily. We can do a double-layered flat leather collar with reinforced D rings."

"Perfect." Phil smiles.

"Great, let's get you measured Dan!" He nods, nervousness in his eyes.

"It's gonna be okay, babe." Phil smiles, reassuringly. "I'm right here." Gerald raises the tape measure, and Dan nods. "Don't flinch, it's okay. I'm right here."

"Alright, I've got the measurements." Gerald smiles, writing the numbers on his computer, "I'm guessing you are someone who hates people touching their neck?" Dan nods, never breaking eye contact with his boyfriend, "You did great."

"You really did, Dan." Phil praises, reveling in the way he minutely preens.

"Alright. what materials and colors were you thinking of doing this time?"

"We had been discussing doing a double-layered vegan leather collar in black and white."

"Are you thinking 12 millimeters or more?"

"Ah, definitely 12 millimeters... I think that's right. The site we were looking at said half an inch was ideal for a first hard-play collar." Dan looks at the measurement sheet in front of him, reading the numbers off internally. "I don't want anything too strong around my neck."

"Then that would probably be right around perfect... Let me get something drawn up for you. Wait here." Gerald walks into the back room, leaving the boys to their own devices.

"I'm really happy we're finally doing this." Phil murmurs.

"I am too. I like my collar, but one from the pet shop doesn't work well for us. It'll be nice to have one made special and not for a dog."

"Agreed. Did you want to go for a locking collar, baby?"

"I would be honored." Dan blushes, "But we can't lose the key or forget it's on."

"Oh, I don't think that will be a problem for you two." Gerald interrupts, presenting his sketch.

The piece on the iPad in front of them is perfect. It looks like someone took the essence of Dan and created it. The thick black leather is sewn with white thread and the thin leather on top is sewn with black. There are three sets of eight rivets surrounding three D rings, and Dan can almost feel the black chains ghosting across his collarbones and back. "It's perfect..." He whispers, awestruck.

"I'm glad you think so! Is there anything you'd like to add or modify?"

"Can we possibly add in a few gemstones? Like maybe black gems here and here?" Phil points between the D rings, smiling awkwardly.

"Like... this?" Gerald adds the gems, turning it back. "And were you two considering a locking or belt-style clasp?"

"Locking. Can we get two sets of keys though?"

"Absolutely, that is a default for these collections, just in case one set gets separated. I will make a note on your order though just to be sure." He types it in, "I will have your piece ready in about two weeks." He smiles and clears the approval, having both of the men sign the agreement before reading out their total.

"That is perfect. Thank you so much." Phil smiles, handing Gerald his card.

-_-_-_-_-_-_

Back home, Dan can't keep his hands off of Phil. "What's up? You were trying to hold my hand in the cab, you've been glued to my side since we got home. Is something wrong? Are you having second thoughts about your collar?"

"No! I mean, no. I'm nervous but I'm not regretting it." Dan blushes, leaning against the counter, watching Phil eat cereal from the box, "If anything, I am excited." I can't wait to have something that symbolizes how much you want me to be yours. It's an honor that you want to collar me, Phil. I mean, what did I do to deserve this?"

"You existed, Dan. That's all that matters. You were deserving of it from the beginning, no one has noticed before me. I have wanted to collar you since 2010, but I didn't want to scare you off. Some people classify this as more important than a wedding ring. I mean, you are literally allowing me to put a lock around your neck. My love, you are the most worthy of anyone I have ever known or dated. I can't imagine anyone else would rather be mine than you. You're my world! I--" Before Phil can finish rambling Dan is pressing their mouths together.

"Fuck I have wanted to do that since we left Owned." He reconnects their lips and the quiet groan from Phil reverberates through him. He replies with the softest squeak, and most people would have missed it, but Phil catches it.

"If I had known that getting you fitted would have this effect on you, I'd have done it ages ago!"

"Oh shut up you spoon." Dan blushes, wriggling away from the older.

"Never," Phil replies, smirking. Dan glares playfully, disappearing into the living room. -_-_-_-_-_-_

Dan has been dreading this. It's finally Tuesday and he hasn't even said hello before he sees it:

"Hi, Daddy."

Dan can't help but freeze in his tracks, slipping before he can school his expression. He glares at the message. He hopes no one sees the look, but the chat's speed says otherwise. He doesn't know why it affects him so much. Neither of them has used that title since 2010. But yet it still haunts him.

Because it's not him.

"Have you guys tried any new shows this week? Phil and I-- ope!! Phil and I!" He snaps his fingers and laughs, "We've been watching a new anime! I can't remember the name though!" He deflects the chat, ignoring the comments in chat asking about his sex life with Phil.

"Da-an!" Phil calls from the hallway, walking in with a black cardboard box.

"Oh! Phil! I was just getting ready to call you!"

"You were?" He walks in, box still in hand, leaning down next to his partner.

"I was trying to tell these guys about that new anime we started! What was it called?"

"Oh, it was an old one I watched when I was younger. Vampire Knight?" The chat explodes in reply, half of them asking about the show and the other asking about the box in his hand.

"It's fun. Definitely a teen drama though. which I think makes it funnier. Cuz we're two grown-ass men watching a romance anime made for teenage girls." The two talk a bit more about the show before Phil comes up with an excuse to leave.

"Alright, now. Where were we?" Dan asks, "I have the memory of a gnat I swear to gods... Oh! The new album! So..." His phone dings somewhere in the middle of the discussion and he wishes he'd put it on silent. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a text:

Sir-- 9:08: It's here. 9:09: On the counter in the kitchen, I won't unbox it without you.

He almost whimpers, excitement settling into his body. "Well, I think I need to head out and finish editing the new video for you guys! Hopefully, I can have it out for you in the next six months!" He laughs, waving to the camera, "Bye guys! Talk to you all next week!"

He clicks end live, rushing out of the room. "Where is it?" He calls, words running together with excitement.

"It's right here! I told you I had it! I even showed you the box!" Phil laughs, pushing the box closer to the younger. "I haven't opened it. Do you need a knife?" Dan nods, cutting the box open.

Inside the box, wrapped in red tissue paper is a satin pouch. Neither of the boys can do anything but gape at first, shocked that it's actually real and in their hands. Finally, Phil comes to his senses and lifts the satin out of the box, untying the ribbon.

"I-- it's real," Dan whispers when the leather piece has been revealed. The chains softly tink together, and the loop for the lock at the back waits expectantly. His hands shake gently as Phil raises the leather, eyes meeting Dan's.

"It-- It's--"

"Perfect." Dan finishes his thought, breath coming in short gasps. He touches his fingers to the D-rings, blinking slowly.

Phil can't help but smile at the awestruck look on Dan's face, "Wanna put it on now? I mean, we are done for the night. Might as well test and make sure it fits." The boy nods, nervously.

"Alright. How should we go about doing this? Should I get on my knees or..."

"Just like we always do, bear. This is just another one of our collars. Hold still and I'll help you put it on." He turns around, back to Phil's chest, and digs in the box for the padlock. Dan grabs it, holding it in his hand, waiting for the feeling of the vegan leather on his throat. He hands the lock to Phil when he finally gets it into place, hearing the click when it's finally done.

"How does it look?" Dan asks, turning back to face Phil. The older doesn't reply, eyes wide and pupils blown.

"Holy fuck..." He whispers, causing Dan to blink rapidly.

"That bad?" Dan asks, hands reaching for the band. He grows self-conscious, confusion evident in his expression.

"N-no... No. Quite the opposite, actually. You look amazing, Dan." Phil blushes slightly, "Could you imagine wearing this in a video? They'd die."

"Because the one they thought was the dom is in a collar?"

"No. Because this may actually be one of the top ten sexiest things I have ever seen you in." Dan looks down at his loose t-shirt and joggers, raising an eyebrow.

"This? Phil, I wear this every day. They're literally my pajamas."

"No, I mean this." Phil laces his fingers under the collar, gently pulling Dan against him. "This is the sexiest thing you've ever worn. Probably up there with that one time, you dressed as me for Dailybooth."

"That was one of the first times you said you wanted to collar me." He blushes at the memory, remembering just how hoarse he was the next day.

"I know. And now look at you... All locked up and nowhere to go..." Phil's voice lowers, sending a shiver up Dan's spine. He presses their lips together, never letting go of the younger's collar. "What do you want to do, Daniel? Shall we break in this new toy?" Dan nods, mutely. "Alright. I want you on my bed ready in two minutes."

"Yes, sir. The same stuff as always?" Phil nods, turning back to the box. He digs through the paper, finding the second set of keys. He takes stock of the situation, wondering if this is a new chapter in their BDSM journey. Sure, they've had collars before, but nothing like this.

He thinks back to the time when Dan had asked for a stronger pair of cuffs. He remembers how he wondered then if this would be a new normal for them.

Before he can answer his question, Dan calls from the other room, "You comin' or what?"

Phil laughs breathily to himself, walking quickly down the hallway. "I'm comin', baby, don't get impatient on me or I'll make you wait."

"Yes, sir." Dan murmurs.

Phil opens the door, breathlessly. Before him is his boyfriend of 13 years waiting expectantly, eyes trained forward and collar around his neck. He's taken off every thread of clothing, and the blush on his skin catches the streetlight out the window perfectly.

"Fuck you're going to kill me, Bear," Phil whispers unbuttoning his corgi shirt as he closes the door.

Phil approaches him, connecting their lips. Dan whines, hoping and praying Phil would let him do something, anything to get the friction he craves. Instead of indulging, Phil takes his hand, leads him to the bed, and pushes him back onto the colorful bedsheets. "What do you want?"

"I want you!" He gasps in reply, brown eyes blown wide in desperation. "Please, I just want your cock."

"Aww, desperate already?" Phil growls dominantly, "Pathetic, aren't you."

Dan watches as Phil unzips his black jeans, waiting for the man to reveal what Dan's been waiting for, "C'moooooooon"

Phil glares, abandoning the buttons and instead sliding his fingers underneath the edge of the collar, pulling it up. "I know you're desperate, but you need to remember who's in charge here. I know our fans think it's you, but you and I both know the truth. We're going to try this again, who's in charge, Daniel?"

Dan nods, "Y-you are, sir."

Phil preens at his reply, pushing his jeans off his legs. He grants himself a couple strokes before pulling Dan in closer. "Good boy. What do you want, bear?" Dan blinks, silently communicating with his boyfriend. Phil nods, tangling his fingers in Dan's curls.

Dan blushes, licking Phil's tip. "Can you... Y'know..." He looks up at Phil, expectantly.

"Aww, want me to fuck your face?" Dan nods, parting his lips. Phil pushes his length into Dan's mouth, pausing briefly at the base, the feeling of his tongue too much to handle. "Fuck," He groans and resists the urge to jerk his hips.

Dan blushes, talking as best he can around the intrusion. Phil smirks and tangles his fingers in Dan's hair, pulling his head back to meet the base of his cock.

"That's a good boy, c'mon, take it all." Dan whimpers, suckling at the older's cock. "You're doing so good baby, I'm gonna cum though if we aren't careful..."

Dan pulls back, wiping his mouth, "W-want you to fuck me... Please?" Dan whispers gaze downcast towards his knees.

Phil smirks in victory. His usually articulate boyfriend has been brought to his knees, begging for any attention the older will grant. Phil growls, lifting Dan's chin to meet his gaze. His lips are parted, breaths escaping in short pants. "I would love to do that, sweetheart," Phil replies hotly, "Let's get into it then." He scoots back on the bed, "Did you stretch earlier like I told you too?"

Dan nods, handing the older a well-used bottle of lube, "Mhm, but you might need to check."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you wanted me to finger you," Phil smirks, spreading lube over two fingers and pressing them to Dan's entrance. When they go in easily, he presses into Dan's prostate.

"I know noth-- Oh fuuuuck," Dan moans, pushing his hips backwards. Phil smirks, adding a third finger.

"You know nothing? You're right. You're just a pretty slut. Made perfect for my dick." Phil pulls his fingers out, wiping the excess on his leg. He spreads more lube on his cock, pressing into the younger. "Beg for it."

"Please?" Dan begs, head dropping. "I've been waiting for this all day, sir. Please..."

Phil pushes the tip in, and pauses. "I didn't tell you to stop."

Dan attempts to push his hips back, mewling. "Please, sir... Please please please..." He curls his nails into the sheets, curls falling across his face.

The older shakes his head affectionately, pushing in the rest of the way. "Taking my cock so well, bear. You're such a good little slut for me. Take it all." He tangles his fingers into the back of the collar, using it to gain leverage. "Fuck..." Phil moans, speeding up his thrusts.

Dan tangles his hands into the sheets, groaning loudly. "Please, Please, please... I'm so close please..."

"Good." Phil's thrusts grow rougher, as he bites Dan's shoulder. "Don't cum until I tell you to."

The sound of their bodies colliding causes Dan to tremble. "Please... Please.... Sir... Lemme cum please!"

"Fuck, Dan... I'm so close... Ready?" he nods, desperately, "Okay... Cum for me. Right now, baby, I'm right behind you." Phil groans roughly, feeling Dan squeeze around him, pushing him over the edge. He reaches around, giving Dan's leaking cock a few strokes, helping him through his orgasm. "Good boy... You did so good." He whispers, letting go of the collar and pulling out of the younger.

"I love you so much, Dan." Phil whispers, pressing a kiss to Dan's nose. "You did so good." "I love you too. Thank you." he replies, dazed.

"For what?"

"Loving me, and for collaring me."

"Of course. Just proof your mine forever baby bear."

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!! Likes and reblogs are much appreciated!!

#shut up nika #phan #dan howell x phil lester #phan smut #phanfic

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darkerknowledge · 1 year

Text

OPEN DND ONE SHOT ON DISCORD

Hello, I’m planning on running ‘Prisoner 13′ from the upcoming dnd book ‘Keys from the Golden Vault’ on Friday the 17th of February at 6:30 PM CST. I will be the DM. I’m looking for 4-5 people to join me as adventurers! If you are interested, there’s more information below the cut.

How does dnd on discord work? It’s a lot like in person play, I will narrate, you will interact with your fellow party members during exploration/roleplaying. Combat is the only thing different since we won’t have physical battle maps and minis to use. How will combat work? I will have a hand drawn map that I will stream via webcam. I don’t paint minis, so it’s a lot of ‘this is a dragon, this is you, what happens?’ Do I have to show my face on discord to a bunch of strangers? Nope! I won’t be. Are you LGBTQ+ friendly? Yes! Will this be a good space for women? Also yes! Age requirement? 18+ preferred, not out of any explicit reasons, but when everyone is over 18 it makes it easier. If you are younger, let me know as we will talk about it and mention it to the table so nothing inappropriate happens. How much does this cost? A whopping 0 dollars! Are you a good DM? I had a dnd show for awhile, I wrote content for dnd as a freelancer for a third party publisher for awhile, and I’ve been DMing for four years this summer! I’ve had players stick around long enough to finish 3 campaigns, and that number keeps climbing! I’m not very experienced, is that okay? Sure, as long as your familiar enough with the terminology, we can work together. If you’ve watched a dnd show like Critical Role or Dimension 20, you should be good. I am newbie friendly! Why are you blazing a post for a one shot? I want to meet cool dnd friends, and I’m hoping after a trial run of one shots, if we all like each other, it’ll turn into a weekly or biweekly campaign! How long will the game be? I’m not sure, there’s all sorts of ways the game could be short or go longer. I’ll confer with everyone on how long they can stay, and find a good stopping place if it goes on too long. Then we will do a part 2 if you all want to. You needn’t worry about having to go to bed and the rest of us playing. Will there be a session 0? Yes and no. For a one shot, I don’t think we need to meet up beforehand, but there will be safety tools in place (such as lines and veils) and what I call ‘hard-no’s’. What is a hard-no? There are a few things that I as a DM am uncomfortable with running, and therefore won’t. For example, explicit roleplay. This will be covered by a ‘fade to black’ if it even comes up (it probably won’t.) If you had to rate your content like a movie what rating would it be? Pg-13 that allows you to say ‘fuck’ more often than just once. I cuss a lot, but less out of anger and more filling in my sentences. Can I play homebrew? Not for a one shot. The limit is officially published classes/subclasses/species/subspecies with stuff Matt Mercer made by approval. Is there anything banned? Yeah, Silvery Barbs and bigotry.

What if I want to play the one shot but not the campaign you’re looking to start? Yeah, that’s fine. This isn’t a contract. Can I talk with the other players to build a better team composition? If you all are the type of players to want to build a group together, you are more than welcome. However, you should be able to go through the one shot playing whatever you like. I will balance for the party rather than the last person who joins getting pushed to healer if there isn’t one already. Your fun is important! If you want to be a tiefling warlock and we have 2 other warlocks, then who cares? ELDRITCH BLAST FOR DAYS, YO! Can my friend join? Yeah, if there’s room. What if I really want to play and miss an open slot? The more the merrier, I say. I’m also building a discord server for dnd nerds to have fun, so you could join that one and play something else! What are your inspirations? I love horror, but this isn’t a horror game. What I like about the fantasy genre is how cinematic it can be. It’s fun to narrate, like jumping in the air and bringing an axe down on the dragon’s head while it tries to shake you off, but you hold on! That’s epic! I love that, but I also love down to earth character moments, too. Your party slayed the ancient dragon and now have its hoard. Do you keep it and run? Do you pay off your debt to the Thieves’ Guild? Or are you Robin Hood types? What happens when all three of those are in the same party? Nicholas Eames, writer of Kings of the Wyld and Bloody Rose, is pretty similar to how my games feel, but with a lot less wink-wink-nudge-nudge third wall breaking. What if my question wasn’t answered here? I’m here to answer questions. My ask box and my direct messages are open!

#dnd #Dungeons and Dragons #one shot #prisoner 13 #ttrpg

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mask131 · 3 months

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I originally drew a whole rant jumping off from this specific point, but I realized maybe I just should stick to my original point and not lose myself in grounds where I could cause all sorts of murky and never-ending debates. So here we go with the seed of thought:

Currently, there are a lot of TV shows (cartoon or live-action), or even streaming shows (which isn't the same as TV ones) that start out good, have adored seasons, and then a bad season happens. And when a bad season happens, fans are sad and angry - and it is normal. You had such a great and good show, and then you crashed it in something that is bad. Yes, one can say this season "ruined the show".

But here is my problem with what is happening more and more: because of a bad season, everybody suddenly turns on the show they once loved and adored. And by "turning against", I mean they suddenly consider the ENTIRE show as bad, and refused to acknowledge the series as a whole. Because of one or several bad seasons, the entire show gets stamped with a big "That's crap don't even look at it or think about it".

... No. If you loved the, I don't know, first four seasons, thought it was one of the most entertaining and well-written things you had seen on TV, and then a bad season happens, you don't need to suddenly say "Yes, the first four seasons are crap". No. They're good. Season five to seven will be horrible and bad. But it does not remove the quality of the first seasons. It doesn't work like that - a bad season does not retrospectively change the quality of an earlier one. If you loved and adored the show before, it was for a reason, and if you ignore the bad seasons and pretend as if it did not exist, you will find you still enjoy greatly the show.

What I mean to say is that... When you favorite or beloved show turns to crap, you don't need to cross the entire show out of your heart. It would be stupid. A form of denial. You certainly are not forced to love bad seasons just out of faithfulness for the old ones - that's another delusion. When something turns bad it turns bad, you must admit it. But it doesn't mean the good parts aren't there anymore. These old seasons and these old series are still there. And you can perfectly well advise to people to watch them and only them, and stop before the show goes bad. You can still love and gush and talk about the part of the show you loved. You don't need to take a shovel to hit it until its dead and bury it in the desert. You don't need to treat it as an old shame. It was good, it was good. It inspired you, it inspired you. You can still recognize it is bad now or ended horribly, while pointing out it had some of the greatest things ever or a thing so clever you haven't seen it anywhere else. You can still choose to own not the full set of DVDs but only the ones of your favorite seasons. You can still praise the golden age of an era, without feeling you are betraying the show by pointing out there is a dark and crappy age opposing it.

In general, this all seems to fit into a wider phenomenon of the "fear of imperfection". People on the Internet are becoming OBSESSED with having perfect shows, perfect books, perfect series, perfect movies, and reject, ignore, hate blindly anything that is not perfect, placing in the same trashcan objectively bad stuff with good but flawed stuff. Except you cannot escape flawed fiction, even more, you need it. These people with such a puritan mindset deny themselves the very principles of what we call today "guilty pleasures" or "B-movies" or "cult classics" or "nostalgic hits". But these "secondary" works are just as important and impactful as the "perfect" works and the "master-pieces" and the "best there ever was".

There's a lot more things to say and we can go very deep down this well, but I hope it was clear enough.

#tv shows #tv series #shows #series #media consumption #fiction #media #flawed fiction #perfectionism #guilty pleasures #cult classics

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misguided-madness · 9 months

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As somebody who grew up in Southern California, one of my favorite places in the world is Disneyland, the original park that Walt built. When I was young, I wanted to be an animator and work for Disney. As the crazy kid that was in advanced placement art all through junior high and high school taking college level art classes and such, It was one of my dreams. I was also one of those kids that believed in the magic of Disney and in fairy tales. Something that every Child that falls in love with Disney gets to experience, but as an LGBT kid I didn’t get those reflections in those Disney movies or even in society until recent years. LGBT characters have not been so main stream. Yes, we’ve come a long way since then, and I am a believer that change does come sometimes slow, but that’s how you change hearts as an advocate and activist for the LGBT community for all of my life and running an LGBT organization for 20 years, I’ve learned it takes one heart at a time I can remember moments when I saw the fairytales reflected with me as a reflection they were little tiny things you know the way Jafar from Aladdin seems way too gay and too obsessed with Aladdin I’m just saying, Captain Hook, or how Clocksworth was such a prissy little queen and Lefou was clearly obsessed with Gaston! Heck to this day, I still think Maleficent might a lesbian and all those princes, well little girls were not the only ones crushing on them! Although Disney didn’t directly have the characters in films that reflected me completely. They did reflect the stories of people that were different and how different was good, I mean the first time I was a little boy about three or four years old I remember meeting Mickey for the first time, Mickey hugged me just like every other kid. I’m proud to be different and part of LGBT community, I even still believe in fairytales , even through my current frustrating and sad ending of my long marriage. I know my story is is not over, there’s a happy ending for me, it hasn’t turned me away from being proud or wanting the the prince that loves me and is out there waiting for me. My fairytale isn’t over, I just meet the wrong prince. Ok you get what I’m saying. So, this past June Disney had the first ever official pride night at Disneyland, there have been pride events in the past at Disneyland, but they were not sponsored directly from Disney. I’ve been to a couple of those. But this magical night was the official endorsement of sorts that everybody deserves that Disney fairytale. There was lots of coverage, boycotts, and such and don’t get me started on everything that’s going on in Florida and Disney World. I’m just talking about Disneyland. I watched lots of videos about this special night at Disneyland and secretly would’ve loved to have been there. It just seemed so magical. Well this year being it’s 100th anniversary I wanted to visit the park doesn’t look as though I’ll be able to do that part. I find myself watching some great videos on YouTube, which brings me to my point. The video that I have attached to this post. It’s truly the most beautiful coverage of this event. It’s about 15 minutes long. You should definitely watch it. It warmed my heart in a way that wasn’t because of its content but because of the message that they provided in their coverage, how can anyone hate love, we are so divided in this world right now. It’s heartbreaking, It was nice to see something that showed that as I’ve always said, we are no different we all bleed the same. We all love the same, we all want the same things, we all are living our own fairytales, and we all want our prince or princess, our heroes, our villains or our magical friends. You know that happy ending! So take few minutes, watch it, I guarantee you it’ll warm your heart as it did mine, after you watch it I’d love to hear your comments, and let’s not get political or mean, just live your fairytale, tell me that special, Disney magic or Disney moment that you cherish in your heart, I’d love to read it!

youtube

#Youtube

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thedragonemperess · 2 years

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👀 You should give me a run down on *checks notes* everything Cars related. Assuming I only remember like four events from all the movies combined. And that time the dude with the hitch was a spy.

You just opened a fucking HUGE can of worms, and now you gotta lie in it.

So we start off with Cars 1. I mean this in the best way possible, I am not telling you anything about the opening scene. The opening scene is the BEST scene in the ENTIRE FRANCHISE and if there is anything I want you to experience first-hand, it is that. Even after watching this movie a million times (which I may or may not have done), this scene still gets me hyped. Go watch it. (Also, the song is a fucking banger. Stream Real Gone by Sheryl Crow.)

Okay, and so here we're introduced to Strip Weathers, Chick Hicks, Lightning McQueen, and LMQ's main motivation.

Strip "The King" Weathers is planning to retire after this race, and he's kind of like the last of the elders left on the track, if that makes sense. He works as someone to give LMQ advise and be a rival to who is basically the primary antagonist of this movie.

Chick Hicks is the primary antagonist of this movie. He does not mind cheating to win, he is a fucking asshole to others, he has willfully almost committed manslaughter on like three separate occasions, and I hope he dies a million deaths.

Lightning McQueen is the main protagonist, okay? We all know this, this is a surprise to literally no one. He starts out as this cocky, full-of-himself asshole who would rather have fame than be a genuinely nice person. This changes later on through being in Radiator Springs, but that's how he starts off.

Anyway, from the scene I showed you, Chick starts a giant car pile up, Lightning makes it through, when they all go for a pit-stop, Lightning doesn't get new tires because he's a fucking idiot, while he's in the lead his tires pop, and there ends up being a three-way tie between Strip, Chick, and Lightning, but Lightning only managed to tie by the tip of his tongue. Literally.

This is revealed after Strip tries to give Lightning some advice but Lightning spaces out the entire time because he's imagining what it would be like to race for Dinoco. Big surprise, the winner of this race was supposedly going to be Dinoco's new Golden Boy! A tie-breaker race between Chick, Strip, and Lightning is scheduled to happen in California, but Lightning has to do a meeting with his sponsors, Rusteeze. He doesn't like the people at Rusteeze because he doesn't like rusty cars. Totally not racist, McQueen, totally not racist.

Anyway, McQueen tells Mack, his transporter, to pull an all-nighter to get to Cali, but then we get another fucking AWESOME music scene. LIFE IS A HIGHWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-

Then another really cool scene happens were Mack is falling asleep while driving and four hot rods show up and start fucking with him. Best scene in cinema history, I swear on my LIFE. Anyway, Lightning McQueen falls out the back of the trailer and ends up on the highway and speeds off, looking for the Interstate, but winds up in RADIATOR SPRINGS.

He, uh, he destroys the town, to put it simply. He then ends up being arrested and is taken to court the next morning. The person that takes him to the courthouse is Mater, who, get this, is a rusty tow truck. The judge ends up being Doc Hudson. (This is a surprise tool that will help us later!) Doc wants LMQ out of town but then Sally shows up, who LMQ confuses to be his lawyer, and Sally ends up getting Doc to force LMQ to fit their road.

Doc challenges LMQ to a race to get out of things, LMQ agrees, it's one lap around the butte, and LMQ loses because he can't drive on dirt. Not that important but two cars named Mini and Van (they're a couple) accidentally makes it to town. Lightning asks them for help and they just kind of run off, thinking he's insane.

Slowly but surely, the townspeople start to forgive him and he starts to grow as a person. (Doc gives him racing advice at some point but Lightning doesn't listen.) Because the road is looking so much better than it was before, the townspeople start fixing up their respective establishments. Lightning goes to Doc's clinic while looking for Sheriff so he can get his gas to finish up the road but Doc is doctoring on Sheriff so he leaves. He ends up finding Doc's garage, and, surprise, Doc is actually the Fabulous Hudson Hornet!! Lightning tells the town, they laugh, that's that. Lightning and Mater go tractor tipping and LMQ talks about what it would be like to work for Dinoco.

"No more rusty old cars-"

"What's wrong with rusty old cars?"

"....Well, not you, Mater. Other rusty old cars."

LIGHTNING MCQUEEN, DO YOU HEAR HOW RACIST THIS SOUNDS?!

Whatever, the tractors end up running through the town the next day, Lightning sees Doc driving, there's this big argument, Lightning finishes the road, buys something from every single towns person and fixes the lights that the town used to have. The lights were used to impress Sally because....there was a romance plot going on that I forgot to bring up. Honestly they just went on a drive to an abandoned restaurant and talked about what the town used to be and Sally offered him a room at the Cozy Cone Hotel, it really wasn't that much.

Lightning is forced to go to California because Doc called the media, Doc realizes that this wasn't best for everyone but was only best for him (just like how Lightning said that Doc hadn't done anything for anyone other than him in a while because he's lived in this town for decades and none of his friends knows who he actually is [part of the big argument]). Doc and the towns people go to the race as his pit crew.

Chick, oh my fucking God, CHICK, decides to ram into Strip and causes Strip to have a really bad crash. Lightning forefeits winning in order to help Strip, no one likes Chick anymore, Lightning is offered to work for Dinoco, he declines in favor of Rusteeze, and Lightning moves his base to Radiator Springs, therefore putting this long-abandoned town back on the map.

So that's the first movie, right? Now for me to get into analyzing different parts of this movie because I enjoy this far too much.

So, like, Doc ended up in Radiator Springs because he was forced to stop racing after a big crash. He became pretty closed off and bitter, so LMQ, a famous race car, coming into town isn't exactly the best thing that could have happened to him. But with Lightning becoming a better person through this town helping him, Lightning is kind of helping Doc go through some of the same character development. Doc learns to really come to terms with everything, realizes that he's been lying to himself and others for an unreasonably long time, and steps back into the racing world as Lightning's crew chief. I just think that Lightning and Doc's character development paralleling each other in opposite directions is kind of cool.

(Also, I don't think Lightning was an entirely different person because of Radiator Springs, I just think that fame changed him a lot and RS brought out the him before that.)

Also, I saw someone say that when Chick was talking to Lightning about the twins (Lightning's biggest fans, Mia and Tia), Lightning's mind wanders to that drive with Sally, and how that shows that before RS, he thought that what the twins were giving him was love, when it was really just adoration from a distance, and that what he had with Sally was actual love. And I fucking love that observation so much.

This post is so long already and I'm only just starting Cars 2 XD

(I also would just like to say for the record that as I started writing this part, I started watching Cars 3, too.)

Alright, so, Cars 2's plot is so out of left field in comparison to the plot of the first one, it's fucking insane. It starts off with Finn McMissile sneaking onto an oil rig because a secret agent that was in deep cover ended up being killed on the job. Finn is then spotted and a bunch of lemons (the name for a specific group of cars) then start chasing him and shooting at him, and a huge part of the rig blows up, therefore killing a bunch of lemons, and then Finn jumps into the water and becomes a fucking submarine car and what the actual fuck is happening?

So the big bad guy (or so we think) is like "Now that that bitch is fucking DEAD, who could possibly stop us now?" and then it cuts to Mater who says "Mater! Tow Mater! That's who! Is HEREEEEEE to help!" because his friend, Otis, who is a lemon, broke down outside of RS.

Blah blah blah, McQueen is back in town, it's revealed that Doc died, Mater breaks into Wheel Well and pretends to be a waiter so that he can eavesdrop on McQueen and Sally- wait, did I just say that Doc fucking died?!!?

Yep. I did. They just kind of... gloss over that. Like, it's just a simple thing about how it felt wrong to have someone else win the Piston Cup the first year after Doc died. That's fucking it. Like, what the fuck???

Anyway, at Wheel Well, Mater calls into the Mel Dorado Show and secures McQueen a spot in the World Grand Prix. At the first, like, I don't know, party or something? For the race, Mater accidentally gets in the crossfire of some spy bullshit and Finn (with his new partner, Holley Shiftwell) confuse him for some American spy.

They hack into Mater's headset during LMQ's first race in Tokyo, causing him to lose the race, LMQ yells at him (so we admit that LMQ is still an asshole, then?) and Mater decides to go back to RS, but gets completely pulled into the spy bullshit.

Throughout this entire movie, Mater is constantly being told in some way or another that he's nothing more than an incompetent, idiot tow truck, so that kind of fucks with him, y'know?

Anyway because nothing else in this movie really matters other that we kind of just skip to the end. Apparently, the lemon conspiracy was to create a fake biofuel that would have this giant race, the World Grant Prix, to promote it, in which all the racers would be required to use it. However, when aimed at with a high electromagnetic pulse, it'll cause your engine to blow. Therefore, the world would turn on renewable fuel and lemons, who were the lowest minority according to the Cars Universe (also, lemon is, like, an in-universe slur, just felt like I should mention that), would become super rich and powerful because, like mentioned before, they had complete control of the largest oil reserve in the fucking world.

The last race doesn't require the racers to use Alinol because it's supposedly dangerous, LMQ uses it anyway, Mater blows his cover because he's horrified that the lemons are planning on killing LMQ, he, Holley, and Finn get kidnapped, Mater escapes to warn LMQ only to realize that there was a bomb planted on him that could only be deactivated through the voice of the person that said it, Mater figures out that the real bad guy was Sir Axelrod (the guy that organized the WGP in the first place), and Sir Axelrod goes to jail while Mater gets knighted by the Queen of fucking England.

Oh, yeah, did I mention that Mater almost blew up the Queen of motherfucking England???

(Oh, and Holley and Mater are dating now. Felt like I needed to mention that.)

Yeah, this movie was a fever dream. It's my favorite one of the three, though, so I refuse to insult it.

Now for smaller moments, LMQ is introduced to this Italian race car named Francesco Bernoulli. There's this bit where they first meet that directly parallels the bit in Cars 1 where LMQ is flirting with Sally. I'm just gonna link the post I made on that bit here. Also, Francesco gets a custom bumper sticker made that just says "Ciao, McQueen!" and then at the end of the movie, LMQ makes one that says "Ka-ciao, Francesco!" Anyway, my point is that there is no heterosexual explanation for that.

And then there's the fact that Mater's character arch in this movie is basically "I'm being told to be different than I really am, and that I'll only ever be on thing, but what I need to do is embrace what I really am, regardless of what everyone else thinks, because I'm the only one that has any true authority over myself."

.........Mater is fucking trans-coded.

Then there's Lightning McQueen stuff. The first thing I wanna talk about with him comes from the first one and goes into the second one. One of my favorite ways to view the first movie is McQueen overcoming his personal, bigoted beliefs (rusty cars) on his own. Like, yeah, he gets some help every now and then, but it's not as if his hand is being held through every step of the way. And then the way he treats Mater and realizes his wrong-doings is him realizing and amending some of the beliefs that he still holds on a smaller scale.

LMQ is intersex coded. A running joke in the first movie is that LMQ doesn't have headlights and that they're just stickers because he's a race car and doesn't need real ones. And upon telling people this, only male cars are surprised by this, meanwhile female cars don't really question this. In Sally's case, she gives him an affectionate nickname based on it. However, we are told that Lightning McQueen is a man throughout this entire movie. Then in the second one, we see Lightning getting real headlights put in. Almost as if it was like, y'know, top surgery or something.

Also, two background characters, Sarge and Fillmore, are shown on a dinner date when the group was in Italy and then at the end, Fillmore is like "If you're saying that I switched out Alinol with my organic fuel because I never trusted Axelrod in the first place, you're dead wrong, man! It was him," while pointing at Sarge. Sarge says "Once big oil, always big oil *glances nervously at Fillmore* Man." Fillmore, teasingly, "Tree hugger." (Sarge calls Fillmore a tree hugger in a somewhat derogatory manner earlier in the movie.)

I'm sorry, but, like, those two are definitely dating.

But also, the idea that a minority just doesn't wanted to be treated like shit anymore, so they decide to do something bad, and we're supposed to root against them because they decided to do something bad, despite the fact that it came from genuine issues and trauma having to do with the way society functions??

Didn't realize we were gonna go there, Cars Universe, but go off, I guess.

And then there's Cars 3.

So, uh.... I don't like Cars 3?

Don't get me wrong, it's a really good movie, but I have my issues with it, y'know?

It starts of by mirroring Cars 1, with the whole "I am speed" and racing montage thing. Here, we're introduced to Cal Weathers, Bobby Swift, and Jackson Storm.

Cal Weathers is the nephew of Strip Weathers and is the new racer for Dinoco. He's a bit slow, and I don't mean that speed-wise, but, like, I am, too. He's adorable and I love him so much.

Bobby Swift is basically only there to take Chick's place since it was three cars in the first movie, however, instead of being an antagonistic asshole, he's the friend that completes the trio.

Then, finally, there's Jackson Storm. He's meant to be the antagonist.... I guess? Like, there's nothing that really makes me want to hate him, y'know? Like, with Chick, I hated him with a burning passion. With Professor Z (Axelrod's spokesperson for the lemons) and Sir Axelrod, I was conflicted because what they were doing was super bad, but they also had a point. Those are the two ways that you should really be looking for in a villain. Hell, even if the viewer likes the villain better than the protagonist, that's still good!! Because it means that you wrote a good villain!! But with Jackson Storm, he's just kind of..... there. Like, he's ageist. That's kind of fucked up. But that's..... that's it. And even then, it's ageism in the same way that you would hear someone say "You scream like a girl." It's wrong, yeah, but it's ingrained into our heads so even if we have progressive beliefs, we'd still end up thinking or saying it from time-to-time because that's just kind of how society works. Jackson Storm is such a dry antagonist and it honestly kind of sucks, because he has so much potential as a character.

Anyway, Jackson beats McQueen out of nowhere despite being a rookie, even more Next Gens start showing up which causes other racers to either be fired or retire, like Bobby and Cal, respectively. McQueen crashes and has to heal and decides that if he's gonna beat Storm, he needs to train like him. Rusty and Dusty, owners of Rusteeze, sell the company to an even bigger company run by a guy named Sterling (your stereotypical billionaire capitalist who claims to be on your side but has money as his first priority no matter what) and ends up being trained by Cruz Ramirez.

(Oh, also, Chick Hicks has a talk show now called Chick's Picks with Chick Hicks. He has a super smart data analyst on the show named Natalie Certain.

The thing about Chick is that, while he is an asshole, you aren't just born an asshole. Something has to make you that way. And while some of that can be chopped up to fame getting to him and the fact that he was always coming second to the same person, but there's no way that that can be it. Like, murder isn't really the kind of thing that something that simple will cause you to do. Which means that there was something from his past that caused this switch.

Which, when thinking about his character like that, it honestly makes him a lot more interesting. Especially since Doc's story kind of went the same way. He was this confident, happy kid until his crash, and then the racing world abandoned him, and he started to become more closed off and depressed and bitter towards the world. Having the main antagonist have such a big and clear parallel to the main role model is so cool, in my opinion.

Like, my love-hate relationship with Chick Hicks is definitely leaning on the hate side, but he is the kind of guy that I'd want to put under a microscope and study or put in a cage and poke with a stick, y'know?)

Sterling says that if McQueen doesn't win the first race of the next season he's gonna have to retire. McQueen agrees, Cruz starts training him, but it really ends up with McQueen training Cruz. There's this big thing where they end up at a demolition derby and by a stroke of luck Cruz wins and earns her first trophy. See, the thing about this was that they were undercover and at the end of this their cover was blown. While driving back to the training facility, McQueen blows up and is just a huge asshole to Cruz about everything that has happened so far. Cruz's tragic backstory is revealed here but what I wanna focus on is OH LOOK! LMQ IS BEING AN ASSHOLE AGAIN, AFTER CLAIMING TO HAVE LEARNED HIS LESSON!!!

I know that the whole point of Cars 1 was for McQueen to be a huge dick, but he learns his lesson in the end. In the second movie, that behavior is repeated, and then he claims to have learned his lesson. In the third movie, and you're not gonna believe this, that behavior is repeated, and then he claims to have learned his lesson. This is honestly one of the reasons why, while I love him, I just don't like him. He's kind of like the Sharpay Evans of these movies, y'know? He goes through character development in each movie, only for it to be scrapped for the next one. But the thing about why it's somewhat likable in Sharpay but not in McQueen is that Sharpay is A, the antagonist and B, a child. McQueen is neither of those things. It just becomes tiring and annoying at the end of the day.

Anyway, what I didn't mention is that Doc being dead is, like, a huge thing in this movie. LMQ and Cruz end up going to Thomasville, which is a fictional place in the state of George, because that's where Doc used to race and where his family lives. They help him and Cruz train and then they get to Florida for the race. McQueen races for half of it, but then when Sterling is trying to get Cruz to go back to the training center, McQueen stops racing and gets Cruz to take his place. Smokey, Doc's best friend (brother? Cousin?), who was acting as Lightning's crew chief, is then replaced by LMQ, who is acting as Cruz's crew chief, therefore cementing his place as the new Doc Hudson of the narative.

Cruz beats Jackson, it comes up as both Lightning and Cruz winning, Lightning can keep racing if he so chooses, but he decides to continue training Cruz. Tex, the owner of Dinoco, buys out Sterling. There's a quick clip with them racing at the butte that parallels the ending clip of the first movie, where Lightning was racing at the butte with Doc.

The only thing about this is that, like, we're also supposed to be really happy that they managed to beat Jackson, but, like, if anything, I'm just glad that Cruz proved her worth as a racer. Lightning beating Jackson is far from satisfying because I just..... didn't like any of them.

(There's also a series of movies called Planes. I've only seen the first one out of the two and I haven't watched them in years, but I wanted to at least bring it up because they take place in the same universe.)

That kind of leads us to where we are now. Last year, Disney announced that there was going to be a Cars series. A few days ago, the trailer for the series, which would officially be named Cars on the Road, was released. It's going to follow Mater and McQueen on a road trip to get to Mater's sister's wedding. You can watch it here, if you'd like!

To be completely honest, there is DEFINITELY some stuff that I missed while typing this out. I can talk about these movies for ages, and because it was already getting so long, I didn't bring up any of the shorts, comics, or books. But yeah, that's that. Imma just link my fics here, like you asked earlier, and that'll be it.

For now, anyway.

(Not) In A Rush

Something Straight Out Of A Postcard

Dancing With The Storm

The Stars Cannot Compare

Wild For Wheels

The Joy Of Painting (Each Other)

A Mornin' Cup Of Joe

Thinking Out Loud

Broken Walls (Hurt Like Shattered Glass)

Kiss Or Kill

#ive written a lot more cars fanfiction than ive thought #answering asks #bunny boo #cars stuff #my writing #no but genuinely there is so much stuff i could talk about #i didnt talk about how perfect the timing of the lyrics with the opening scene in the first movie is #i didnt talk about why most people thought that the time jump between the second and third movie was too big when it really wasnt #i didnt talk about how mater and lmqs song in the second movie also fits excruciatingly well as a lightning/francesco song #i didnt talk about finn mcmissiles character development and how important the opening scene of cars 2 is to understanding his character #i could talk for so much longer but this was already long enough XD #pixar cars

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arizonaconservativegal · 2 years

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I know you will 100% disagree with me but Disney has ruined Marvel with their gay agenda. Eternals, Doctor Strange 2, Shang Chai 3 movies I was going to watch but found out about their gay agenda in those movies. They also fired Johnny Depp the way they did Gina, so fuck them. They also ruined Starwars forever with their woke shit, That Solo movie can fuck off because the only Han Solo is Harrison Ford. Don't be a hypocrite and watch that shit on Disney plus and claim you hate them.

I don’t know that I’d go so far as to say I disagree 100%. I’m still bitter about how they treated Gina, but I’ve decided to put most of that energy into supporting her future endeavors because I’d like Disney and Hollywood both to see her be successful without them. I can’t comment on whether they “ruined” Marvel, because I’m really not a Marvel fan so I don’t know enough about it to have an opinion one way or another. I am a big enough Star Wars fan to comment on the claim that they ruined that and I will disagree with you there. And I’m sorry but you’ve touched on a couple mild pet peeves of mine, so polite rant below the cut:

Don’t get me wrong, I am straight up ignoring the sequel trilogy, because I just didn’t like it at all. And Solo wasn’t great but it wasn’t awful either and it’s really no one’s fault that Harrison is about 60 years too old to play a young Han Solo (although, honestly, I’d still watch that) and I don’t know if you followed any of the behind the scenes drama with the production of that movie, but the fact that it even made it to the screen in any condition is a miracle. But Rogue One was a damn near perfect movie and I’ve been very pleased with what they’ve done with the live action and animated streaming series so far. Publishing has been hit or miss but there’s really only one author whose stuff I could accuse of being woke.

Are there things I would do differently if I were in charge of Star Wars? Of course. Every Star Wars fan has those things. We’re notoriously hard to please. But let’s not pretend we weren’t that way even before the sale to Disney - and rightly so, because even George’s stuff wasn’t always great.

If you don’t count the animated stuff, Disney has put out more hours of Star Wars content than George ever did (and I’m not going to add it up right now but even if you do count the animated stuff, Disney still might be ahead). Of course it’s not all going to be fantastic. But here’s the thing: that’s okay. It doesn’t ruin the rest unless you let it. If you want to spend all your time being mad about the things you didn’t like, I guess that’s up to you, but I am happy as a clam pretending that the Thrawn series is the only sequel trilogy ever made.

So yeah, I’m still going to watch Star Wars and I’m still going to pay for Disney+ because I want to encourage them to continue to make new Star Wars content for me to enjoy. As long as they keep doing that, they can have my $7 a month for a subscription that I share with four other people.

Maybe I shouldn’t give them that. Maybe I should be stingy about where my money goes in every part of my life so that I never give any support to a liberal. Maybe it makes me a hypocrite that I don’t do that. But you know what? I spend 60-80 hours a week on my politics. At the end of that, I need a break or I’m going to burn out and be of no use to anyone. I don’t have the energy to worry about whether every dollar I spend is going towards politically upstanding causes. I just want to relax and enjoy something fun for one hour.

And you know what else? I don't hate Disney. Not really. I think they're kind of a shitty company most of the time but I don't hate them. And I think they are no more guilty of being stupidly woke than any other megacorp. Big companies like that don't really have political opinions except for the ones that impact the bottom line. I love what DeSantis is doing to push back on their cowardly activism and I think they are slowly learning their lesson. If nothing else, DeSantis has given them enough cover to stay out of things they wouldn't otherwise bother to get involved in and I'm optimistic that will have a big impact on other companies like them - a lot bigger impact that me cancelling my Disney+ subscription would.

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ravensgyan · 8 months

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10 Best Netflix Series In 2023

In today’s fast-paced world, people are drawn to thrilling, horrifying, comedic, and mysterious movies and series that provide entertainment and relaxation. Amid their busy routines, individuals seek moments of leisure to unwind. To aid in this pursuit, we present a selection of top Best Netflix series to consider.

Netflix, a widely used streaming platform, offers a diverse range of featured movies and series. Founded by Marc Randolph and Reed Hastings, Netflix was launched on January 16, 2007.

Let’s delve into the finest Best Netflix series available:

1. Dark

Debuting on December 1, 2017, “Dark” narrates the tale of a small German town grappling with the disappearance of two children. As the search unfolds, the town’s sinister history and the intricate connections between four families come to light. This enigmatic drama unveils a complex puzzle brimming with twists and enigmatic characters, all linked to the town’s tumultuous past, even stretching back to 1986. “Dark” stands as Netflix’s first original German series.

2 Stranger Things

Among Netflix’s most celebrated series, “Stranger Things” delves into a captivating blend of 1980s science fiction and alien intrigue. The story revolves around a group of high school students from Hawkins, who, led by a girl named Eleven possessing extraordinary powers, confront supernatural forces to safeguard their town.

3. Friends

Friends, A Popular web series of Netflix. Friends series is about 6 people of friends who stay together with their ups and downs and show every path of life in a sarcastic way where you understand that at last everything come out as for better and it shows that everybody faces the same criteria of a path where everyone deal with their own ways. It is a must watch series which makes you familiar with the characters.

4. Never Have I Ever

A High School Teen Drama. Where all Gen-z are playing an important role to showcase what affection and letting go means. where change need to happen for a good reason. It is series about a girl name Devi who is an indian who has shown as how her family and friends supports her on biggest trauma and make her show for herself by appreciating that whoever she is, she is fine by her, she doesn’t need to be changed for anybody else to be accepted in their life. She should take a stand for her mistakes and make it up to it. Running is never an option for anybody. It is a courageous girl which was portrayed in a series.

5. Wednesday

“Wednesday” immerses viewers in a world of magic and intrigue. The titular character, Wednesday, embarks on a journey of investigation and discovery, showcasing her multifaceted talents. The series is reminiscent of the magic and charm found in the Harry Potter universe, captivating audiences with romance, suspense, and drama.

6. House of Secrets

This series got more fame not just in Netflix but in real life as well. It is the true story of 11 people 1 elder grand mother, 5 parents and 5 children who has done suicide because of some superstitious reason. It is the biography series of 3 episodes. In this series, It is shown that they have taken their live because they think they will rise again the next day. this is not the suicide as per them. There was a notebook where everything was written like what each person is doing right or wrong or if it is wrong then it needs to be taken care of etc. A must watch biographical series where no one missed the chance to got to know what really has happened.

7. The Witcher

The Witcher, from name you have got what characters were be played in this. In this series you get to watch the mediaeval period where there were witches, how they save the life of others and theirs. you get to watch how the small child find her way out to know what she is and there is man who helps her make her discover that she has powers that needs to be safe and controlled. it start a little confusing by portraying present and past together so they can be at align together to understand what really has happened. Must watch series.

8. Money Heist

Money Heist,” originally titled “La Casa de Papel” in Spanish, is a highly popular Spanish television series that has gained international acclaim since its debut on Netflix. The series follows a group of robbers, each using a city name as a code name, as they plan and execute meticulously orchestrated heists on the Royal Mint of Spain and later, the Bank of Spain. Led by the enigmatic and charismatic mastermind known as “The Professor” (Sergio Marquina), the group aims to print billions of euros and achieve their ultimate goal of financial freedom.

9 You

You” is a psychological thriller television series that premiered on Netflix and has gained significant popularity for its intriguing and dark narrative. The series centers around Joe Goldberg (played by Penn Badgley), a seemingly charming and intelligent bookstore manager who becomes infatuated with various women he encounters. However, Joe’s infatuation quickly transforms into an obsession, leading him to engage in increasingly disturbing and manipulative behavior to win the affection of the women he desires. “You” examines the darker aspects of modern relationships and the dangers of idealizing individuals based on curated online personas. The series raises questions about privacy, consent, and the ethical implications of technology in the digital age.

10. Lucifer

“Lucifer” is a popular television series that originally premiered on Fox and later found a new home on Netflix. The series follows Lucifer Morningstar (played by Tom Ellis), the Devil who has grown tired of his role in Hell and decides to retire to Los Angeles. He opens a lavish nightclub called Lux and indulges in the pleasures of the human world. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he becomes involved in assisting the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) as a civilian consultant.

I hope you liked this article. As you can read more articled which are given blelow.

#india #netflix #tvshow #netflix movie #netflix series

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denimbex1986 · 9 months

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'In this opening stanza of one of my favorite poems, “La Jornada” by Antonia Quintana Pigno, the speaker laments the disastrous effects of J. Robert Oppenheimer’s love affair with New Mexico.

She suggests that her own love affair as a brown woman with the white scientist could have stopped the Manhattan Project and the development of the atomic bomb. This poem ran through my mind multiple times as I watched Christopher Nolan’s film Oppenheimer.

Like Nolan’s other films, the depiction of women in Oppenheimer is terrible. In this one, he manages to reduce two scientists—Jean Tatlock, a psychiatrist who was also queer, and Katherine “Kitty” Oppenheimer, a botanist—to a floozy and a drunk who are both in love with Oppie, not to mention that they are two of only four women with significant speaking parts. (The third is also involved in an extra-marital affair with Oppenheimer and the fourth was a Manhattan Project scientist who is depicted as trying to shut down the use of the bomb for war purposes. But I digress.) Quintana Pigno writes lovingly about her “Nuevo Méjico,” but it’s a different love than Oppenheimer had for New Mexico.

Oppenheimer

I could have loved you

wrapped my legs tightly

around your white buttocks

to keep you thinly against me

without desire

for food

for water from mountain streams

for the journey to Jornada del Muerto

for the creation of Trinity

“La Jornada” by Antonia Quintana Pigno

In the summer blockbuster, New Mexico serves as a desolate backdrop to Project Y and the Trinity test. The wind and rain that characterize the wild west that Oppenheimer and other Manhattan Project scientists must tame to build and test the bomb contradicts the querencia most of us have for our high desert homeland, the one that Quintana Pigno writes about. One of my favorite Oppenheimer quotes, which sits as an epigraph to “La Jornada,” features prominently in the film. The original quote, though, is different than the movie version. Oppenheimer once said, “My two great loves are physics and New Mexico. It’s a pity they can’t be combined.” In the film, Oppie says, “When I was a kid, I thought that if I could find a way to combine physics with New Mexico, my life would be perfect.” The truth is that his love for New Mexico, like his other romantic affairs, was disastrous. Who should really be pitied here? The truth is, Oppenheimer knew very little about people in New Mexico because he often went to New Mexico to be alone, that is, until he created a government project that changed the cultural and physical landscape of my ancestors forever.

Those left out of Oppenheimer

With the attention that the film has received, many people have been able to critique how the film leaves out entire populations of people, such as Indigenous communities, downwind communities, and Nuevomexicana/o farmers. It has allowed us to better explain to the world that New Mexico was not uninhabited in the 1940s. In fact, it has been inhabited since time immemorial. In a recent interview, I finally realized that the journalist was unaware of New Mexico’s geography, and I explained to her that Trinity and Los Alamos were 200 miles apart when I finally realized that she did not know this as she asked her questions. Yet another called it “Mexico” but then corrected herself and repeated “New Mexico.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that we have this chance to explain these things, and I don’t fault people for not knowing the geography of New Mexico. Certainly, the film makes no effort to distinguish the Pajarito Plateau (Los Alamos) from the Tularosa Basin (Trinity site); New Mexico is one amorphous, desolate desert in the film. Nevertheless, this portrayal is just another effect of nuclear colonialism.

After two bombs were used to attack Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan, in August 1945, news of Oppenheimer and the Manhattan Project broke worldwide. Oppie’s face appeared on the November 8, 1948, cover of TIME. As Hollywood magic would have it, Oppenheimer sees his reflection on the magazine cover as he walks into the Oval Office to meet with President Truman in the film. (Oppenheimer resigned from Los Alamos on October 16, 1945, but this inaccuracy with the TIME cover does not actually change much in the film.) It is during this scene that Truman asks Oppenheimer, “I hear you’re leaving Los Alamos. What should we do with it?” To which Oppenheimer responds, “Give it back to the Indians.” Not only is this comment ignorant, but it’s also racist. Oppenheimer and Groves knew who they displaced to institute Project Y; they just didn’t care. Nuevomexicanas/os and Indigenous people, in addition to the Los Alamos Ranch School, were dispossessed from their homes and homelands on the Pajarito Plateau. Not only did they not return the land, but the colonizers never left.

Dealing with the fallout

New Mexicans were left to contend with the lasting effects of the Manhattan Project, including intergenerational trauma, disease and death, contamination, secrecy and obscurity, and environmental racism. In Resolana: Emerging Chicano Dialogues on Community and Globalization by Miguel Montiel, Tomás Atencio, and E.A. “Tony” Mares, Atencio writes about Los Alamos and how northern New Mexico communities have resisted the effects of the Manhattan Project. Atencio writes, “Since the mid-1940s villagers had recognized the dangers of radiation, as men pushing wheelbarrows full of waste in the Los Alamos National Laboratories (LANL) suddenly turned ashen, went home, and died. In the villages, meanwhile, children were dying of leukemia. Despite the evidence from Los Alamos and the knowledge that chemicals, including commercial fertilizer, were polluting the land, we had been told that modern technology would improve nature” (Atencio 27). Stories of family members getting sick or dying because of their work at the Labs are no longer restricted to whispers at kitchen tables, and initiatives to keep traditional knowledge alive and in practice are thriving. Still, other northern New Mexicans, especially, are proud of the work they did and continue to do at the Labs. It’s a conundrum.

In southern New Mexico, the communities surrounding the Trinity site continue to deal with the legacy of illness and death created by the plutonium bomb called the Gadget. New research shows that fallout from the Trinity test reached forty-six states plus Canada and Mexico. A recent New York Times article quotes from the report that “locations in New Mexico where radionuclide deposition reached levels on par with Nevada” from atmospheric nuclear tests conducted at the Nevada Test Site. The new study offers support for the ongoing efforts to amend the Radiation Exposure Compensation Act to include the Trinity downwinders, who are not eligible under the current federal law. Since its establishment in 1990, the RECA fund has paid out over $2 billion; New Mexican downwinders have never been eligible for compensation under RECA.

Our own role in the current nuclear moment

Last week, the US Senate passed a bill to amend the Radiation Exposure Compensation Act (RECA). This new amendment would include not only New Mexico downwinders, but also it includes post-1971 uranium workers, other downwinders of the Nevada Test Site atmospheric nuclear tests, and downwinders in Guam from testing in and the Pacific Islands. The House must pass their version of this bill now, which is integral before RECA sunsets in 2024. People can call their US Representatives and ask them to support the RECA amendment.

But there is another conversation that has opened recently in New Mexico around the legacy of the nuclear industrial complex. In January 2022, the Archbishop of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe, John C. Wester, released a Pastoral Letter, “Living in the Light of Christ’s Peace: A Conversation toward Nuclear Disarmament,” which actually calls for the abolition of nuclear weapons. Suddenly, there is a new conversation happening around the present-day role of nuclear science at the National Laboratories in New Mexico, namely Los Alamos. The National Nuclear Security Administration has tasked Los Alamos with producing a minimum of thirty new plutonium pits per year with a goal of eighty new pits per year between LANL and a second location – the Savannah River Site.

At the end of Oppenheimer, viewers are left questioning the guilt the film’s protagonist might have felt unleashing nuclear weapons into the world. But shouldn’t we also question what role the United States and other nuclear weapons-wielding counties have in the future of nuclear weapons? We must consider how future generations will look back on our nuclear policies and the choices we make. Are nuclear weapons and all their inherent risks and public health impacts a legacy that we really want to pass on?'

#Oppenheimer #Los Alamos #National Nuclear Security Administration #La Jornada #Antonia Quintana Pigno #Jean Tatlock #Kitty #Radiation Exposure Compensation Act (RECA)#President Truman #Christopher Nolan

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