#i just wanted to write something with. that kind of more complicated relationship dynamic of a longer-term relationship already in place | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yesimwriting · 1 year

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Pulling Away

A/n did i write smut for once? yeah. also timeline wise is this perfectly accurate? it’s iffy,, but this fic isn’t about the plot too much so it’s okay

Summary: You’re not the only one that’s feeling a little territorial thanks to the influx of people you’re around in Jackson.

warnings: 18+, implied age gap, no condom, a tiny bit manipulative if you squint, brief mention of losing virginity.

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He’s not a force of nature, no matter how hard he might pretend to be for the sake of those around him. Joel can’t actually change anything. So the shift in temperature you feel as Joel stills has to be a byproduct of what’s in your head.

The kind of burning cold that better fits a fever runs through you and you hate yourself for it. This isn’t the first time you’ve been delusional when it comes to him.

You’re working off of a quarter of his face against low lighting. It doesn’t make sense for you to be able to feel so much from the little of him that you can see. It’s not anger. Or at least, not just that. There’s definitely a subdued rage radiating from him, but it’s undercut by something that punches you straight in the gut.

Maybe you’re being a little unfair, but you have a right to it at this point. You can’t follow him around blindly like some kind of puppy forever. Especially now that you’re both settled enough to be able to think of things outside of pure survival.

“Ellie’s asleep.” A flat observation that you can’t explain. Maybe it’s the need to break the silence, or maybe it’s a genuine attempt at making things feel normal. You two should still be able to talk. You never wanted that to end. “Swore she wasn’t tired, but passed out as soon as her head touched the mattress.”

Joel lets out a small sound from the back of his throat. It’s a spike in the atmosphere. “Think I’m gonna go to bed, too.” You don’t understand your awkwardness or the urge to create distance. It’s not like Joel would hurt you, but then again, the buzz of adrenaline doesn’t seem to be coming from a place of fear. It’s an uneasy burning that worsens when you raise your eyes enough to meet his. “Night.”

The one word is a little better and somehow so much worse. Not aggressive or trying to make things better. It’s just there. Civil.

When he says nothing, you take it as your sign to call it a night. Tomorrow could be better. Sure, your rocky dynamic might be going through growing pains while you set boundaries that should have been established long ago, but you’ll likely survive this. You’re all staying together in the same house in Jackson for the time being and you both care too much about Ellie to separate over something small.

Even if Joel won’t directly admit to it, the part of your relationship that feels like co-parenting is sacred. That’s part of the reason why the feelings you’ve been fighting with yourself to dismantle are so complicated. He cares about Ellie more than he wants to admit and the last thing you need right now is to tear away the little stability she’s finally been given. Not over a few awkward conversations and stiff moments.

The weird irony that vaguely reflects the issues of the world before isn’t lost on you. If someone were to squint at the situation, you’d seem like a wife trapped in a marriage for the sake of her children. Maybe if it was happening to someone else you’d have enough energy to find it funny.

You turn carefully, like a too loud squeak of your shoes could be what snaps the thinning thread tying you two to a hint of casualness. You don’t need to pass him to get to where you’re sleeping. The three of you had been set up in a space that allowed for each person to have their own room. It’s like that in theory, but in practice it’s more like Ellie’s room, Joel’s room, and the spare.

A comfortable enough bedroom that you’ve maybe spent the entire night alone in twice in the weeks you’ve been here. You can’t even pretend that you keep the few things you own in there either. Joel’s an even lighter traveler than you, so slowly your items made their way into the drawers in his room. Now, your room is basically just where you go to change into and out of sleepwear.

You’ll get used to it, used to the draft that originally led to you giving up on rocky sleep the first night you ended up sleeping next to Joel. Your dreams kept you up even more than the cold, but when Joel’s drowsy voice called out to you in the dark, asking why you were awake, you blamed the night’s chill. That’s how it first happened.

It was a mistake you should have never let turn into habit. You’re correcting it now. Setting boundaries to prevent heartbreak. It’s only a matter of time considering the way the women here look at him.

“Since when do you sleep in there?”

His voice is so gruff it instinctually freezes you. Any sarcastic comment at the back of your throat vanishes immediately. The both of you are fully aware of how you end up each night, but it’s a boundary in itself not to mention it. You’re not sure if it’s more him or you, but what happens at night and early in the morning is never mentioned.

It’s a dip into another reality. A space where Joel’s a little lighter, almost more open. Sometimes he’ll drag your arm with him when he moves onto his side, a silent way of asking you to stay close. On the best nights, he’ll joke about it, letting your limbs meld together under a blanket and swear he’s just trying to keep you warm out of the kindness of his heart.

His humor is the worst. The kind that some might justify as a result of years of it being at a stalemate for years considering the tragic state of the world, but you know better. They’re the kind of jokes that take a second to settle because of his general exterior, but are meant to be so dumb they force out a smile. In another life, the little comments are dad jokes.

The peace bleeds into the mornings now, he’ll keep the closeness and remind you that you don’t have to get up immediately by mumbling something about Ellie still being asleep. Like she’s the only thing significant enough to get you two to return to reality.

You’re convinced that these moments exist because neither of you mention them. He’s crossing a line you didn’t realize meant so much to you and he’s being dramatic it, too. It’s not the rarest thing for you to ‘attempt’ to sleep in your own bed. Sure, you’re more likely to lay in that room for a few hours on nights where Ellie stays up a little later, but this isn’t the strangest thing you��ve done.

He’s ripping any chance of returning to that separate world away from you. It stings more than it should. “Thought I’d give it a try,” you voice is too low, too defensive, “It’s not a big deal.”

The defense sounds so weak in your own ears, you don’t even want to imagine what he took from it. “Bullshit.”

His voice comes out in such a low huff you feel it more than hear it. If the sound had felt any less dangerous, you would have pretended to mistake it for another wordless grunt. Your lips part slowly as your mind struggles to create any kind of logical response.

Pretending is clearly getting you nowhere. The only reason you ever pretended it would was pure delusion. Joel has always been able to see through you, through any shift in mood. Even when your lies are better, his ability to sense them is uncanny.

He turns with no warning. Joel crosses the space between you before you can even fully register his steps. Your body tenses as heat rushes to your face in result of an oddly charged parody of fight or flight. You almost step back, one heel shifting back, but then you meet his gaze and the determined glint behind his eye is enough to melt you into place.

There’s something else there, too. A focus that pins you into place even further. Holds you there better than the barrel of a pistol could.

The absurdity of the warmth rooted in your chest should be enough to make the feeling go away. It doesn’t, so you force your lips to part again. You need to say something. Anything. “Joel?” Not that. Not just his name in a voice that feels violently small.

“You’re pullin’ away.”

The accusation in his voice leaves no room for argument. You try anyways, “No.” The rest of your thoughts can’t come out while you’re looking at him at the same time. There’s shame in dropping your gaze to focus on your shoes and the little space between you. “It’s not like that.”

Joel lets out a low sound. The creak of the floor as he steps forward again snaps you out of your trance. You step back in a desperate attempt to keep the space between the two of you equal. Your back hits the wall before you can come close to achieving your goal. It’s a knee jerk reaction that leaves your face feeling even warmer than before. A part of you expects Joel to laugh at the sound or at least comment on it. He doesn’t. He continues forward until his mouth is so close to your ear the warmth of his breath lingers when he exhales.

He takes a second there, relishing in your stillness. “Don’t lie to me.” Joel pulls away just enough to look you in the eye. “You don’t want to talk to me, you’re talkin’ about leavin’.” The southern drawl of his voice is increasing with his frustration. It’s distracting in a way that feels too convenient. Like he’s doing this on purpose.

You swallow once. “You found your brother. I have a sister out there, I’d--I think now that things are more settled with Ellie it wouldn’t be the worst thing for me to look for her.”

“And you don’t want us goin’ with you, but you’re more than willing to let the guy that’s always lookin’ at you--”

“Oh my god, is that what this is about?” You are insane. Of course his issue is who mentioned it. John knows travel, leaves Jackson and comes back in one piece when he needs to. He wouldn’t be the worst person to have with you if you did want to start a rudimentary search for your sister. “I didn’t make any plans with John, it just came up.”

“You don’t want us goin’ with you.”

Your throat feels dry. The thought of it makes you feel cold. You haven’t seen your sister in a few years and so much has changed. You’re no longer in the QZ and your sister has no way of knowing that. She can’t reach out if there’s trouble or good news and she has no reason to assume that you’re safe. You know where she lives, and if she’s not there, you know a few of her usual spots. She doesn’t typically stray too far from her bubble. It wouldn’t be a long trip, just long enough.

Long enough to give you some space. Long enough to remember what it’s like to not be around Joel all the time. Long enough to feel less about him.

And you’d come back. You wouldn’t just walk out of his life and Ellie’s forever. The little bit of space you’re trying to get would make it easier for you to stick around in the long run because it’s the only way you can think to get rid of the feelings that are trying to ruin everything.

“We haven’t been here that long and Ellie’s finally starting to feel settled. I don’t want to drag her out of that yet and make her feel like her entire life is just going to be her being dragged around the country.”

Your words are a jumble, rushed together in a way that makes the honesty of them less effective. It’s a good point. Ellie just called her room hers the other day and even asked about moving the bed against a different wall.

Joel lets out a low breath, eyes hardening. “You’re right. She’s settlin’ and she needs you.” He knows he’s hit his mark when you don’t respond. “How do you think she’s gonna take the news that you’re leaving?”

“Leaving to visit my sister.” You struggle to swallow. “Temporarily. It’ll take less than two weeks.”

His lips pull into a frown as his eyebrows together. Moody and brooding. The look you’ve openly referred to as his old man scowl. “With John.”

Ugh. This again. Why does it matter? Yes, John will be there, but it’s not like it’s just you and John. Your sister isn’t that far and she has access to supplies that aren’t common, she has an understanding with people that have easy access to medical supplies.

But even if it was just you and John, it doesn’t matter. There are a lot of areas in which you factor in Joel’s opinion, but this is definitely not one of them. You two aren’t together and with the way he does nothing to show any discontent when the girls here start to look at him, he definitely doesn’t need you keeping his bed warm at night.

“If I go, he wouldn’t be the only one there.” The fact that you’re trying to justify John’s presence leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You’re a grown woman, free to associate with whoever you want. You might jokingly call him your old man from time to time, but he has no right. “And if even if he was, what does it matter?”

His jaw locks and the downwards tilt of his chin erases the little bit of confidence you’ve managed to build. “You’ve seen the way that boy looks at you.”

You have to bite your tongue to avoid from blurting out that he’s also seen the way majority of the women you see on a daily basis look at him. Joel’s also exaggerating. John does not have any feelings for you, and if he did, it wouldn’t matter. It’s not like you see John as anything more than a friend. But even if you did--it is not his business. At all.

“He doesn’t.” There’s little point in saying that, Joel’s not one to have his mind so easily swayed and he’s been wary of John since the beginning. Sometimes it even feels like the more you insist that he’s a good friend, the more Joel seems to dislike him. “And if he did, it doesn’t matter.”

Your words feel like a retreat they shouldn’t need to be. Small, the meaning of the sentence compacted and straining against the limited syllables. A part of you expects Joel to understand what you do mean. That it doesn’t matter because it takes two interested parties to form any kind of relationship. That your mind isn’t even there in terms of feeling safe...that the only person who has ever made you feel safe enough to imagine anything beyond friendship is right in front of you.

For the first time, Joel doesn’t pick up on the relevance of what isn’t said. You can feel his lack of understanding in the way he moves, placing one hand on the wall, near your head. You blink, trying in vain to explain the motion, explain his proximity. He’s caging you in.

The heat of his body is practically inescapable, amplified by the way he smells. Joel showered a little earlier, his natural scent combining pleasantly with that of plain soap. After so many nights next to him, you would think you would have developed a tolerance. You haven’t. And even if you did, you doubt it’d matter...this is different. Dizzying.

“Doesn’t matter?”

He’s somehow even closer and somehow not touching you. The realization that that’s the worst part of this leaves your stomach fluttering. You need the feeling gone, so you force out the first words that come to mind, “It matters as much as all the girls that look at you like that.”

It feels more bitter than it comes out, leaving a metallic taste on your tongue. You need out. You need space. You need sleep. Joel’s silence feels like opportunity, so as subtly as you can you try to shift away from the wall. Your back is off the wall for less than a second before you’re pushed back against it.

Your body hits the wall before you can realize that Joel’s hand is on your hip. There’s too much surprise for that fact to settle, so you look up at him almost bewildered. You expect him to let go or at least look somewhat apologetic. He does the opposite, moving the hand on the wall under your jaw and closing the distance between you in a motion so quick you can barely register it.

His mouth is on yours before your mind can catch up. It makes no difference to him. He’s rabid in his patience, taking what he wants without forcing your lips to part. His hand squeezes your hip and all at once it connects. You gasp and Joel pins you to the wall even more securely, deepening the kiss with an expert’s ease.

It lasts until you can’t breathe and ends with his teeth grazing against your bottom lip as he pulls away. “All of this,” the words are exhaled lowly, “’Cause you’re jealous.”

The kiss left you so light headed your first instinct is to just agree. To not think and do or say whatever you need to in order to get him that close again. But his tone is too sure, too teasing, and the implication isn’t something he can just get away with. “Jealous?” His smugness is hard to take with him holding you against the wall like this. It’s too vulnerable, like this might be some kind of game to him. It makes you feel transparent. Hollow. “Fuck whoever you want, I don’t care.”

It’s like you’ve said nothing until Joel has the audacity to squeeze your hip. “Whoever I want?” His hand shifts up your hip, your shirt moving with him. “Hm.” His hum settles beneath your skin, effectively silencing you as his eyes take their time raking over your face and down your body. “Those were some big words from you.”

Heat rushes to your face. It’s ridiculous--you curse more than that on a regular basis. He’s playing into context, too aware of what he’s doing. The urge to push burns twice as hard as buzzing in your chest. “They’re true. We’re not--we’re not anything, so if I want to go with--”

“I’m not losin’ you.” There’s a desperation in there that comes out so hard it circles back to vulnerable. “You wanna go see your sister, we go see your sister. That’s how we got through everything else.” The hand on your hip moves down, his fingers dipping beneath the elastic waistband of your shorts. You hate yourself a little for the way your breath audibly catches. “Understand?”

His hand lowers even further, long fingers pressing against the fabric of your underwear. You’re not breathing right and you can’t bring yourself to care. The only thing you can think of is closer. “Y-yes.”

“’Yes’ what?” No sympathy in his voice or anything that would give away that he has a hand shoed down your pants.

His touch picks up pace, rubbing against you until a whimper escapes your lips. “Yes, sir.”

Joel moves his hand away with no warning. The whine that escapes your lips doesn’t feel like your own. He’s barely touched you and you’re already like this. “Barely touched you and you’re already listening.” He hooks two fingers in between the band of your underwear. “Should’ve done this awhile again, then.”

You’re burning all over, the only thing you can manage is a quick, “Shut up.” It lacks any bite.

He pulls at the band of our underwear, letting it snap back into place. If you didn’t know any better, you’d consider the flash of something softer across his face as amusement. “If you want me to stop, you’ve gotta tell me.”

Your nod feels desperate. Your entire body feels desperate. For the way he kissed you, the way he touched you. “I-I’ll tell you.” He’s still not moving, not doing anything. It’s some sort of punishment. It has to be. “Joel...”

“You going to say ‘please’?”

You have half a mind to tell him to fuck off, but then his fingers hook around your underwear again. A promise. “Please, Joel.” This is all unfamiliar but you trust Joel to get what you want, what you need. “Need you.”

With no warning, he yanks down your shorts and underwear. They fall down your legs and you blindly kick them to the side. “Need me?” He tilts his head down, pressing an open mouthed kiss against your cheek, then two to your jaw. “Need me where, sweetheart?”

God. Anywhere. Everywhere. Your desperation reminds you of how incredibly unfair it is that you’re already down to just our t-shirt and Joel’s still fully dressed. You move your hand slowly, carefully tugging at whatever piece of clothing on him you can reach.

He’s unimpressed. “C’mon, use your big girl words.” His hand is in between your thighs, his fingers teasing at your entrance in a way that makes it impossible to focus on anything else. “You were usin’ them just fine a second ago.”

“Joel,” he kisses your jaw again, forcing away all train of thought. It has to be intentional. “Joel,” again, too soft.

“I know,” he exhales the words against your neck, “I know, sweetheart. Need me to take care of you.” Joel doesn’t wait for a reaction, just pushes his fingers fully into you. You gasp too loudly, Joel moves his free hand over your mouth. “Be a good girl and be quiet. Can’t wake up Ellie.”

Shit. How did you not think of that? “You’ll be good and quiet for me? Let me stretch you out a bit first?” There’s a knot in your stomach that’s slowly taking over all of your senses. As long as Joel keeps working at it, you could promise him anything. You nod against the palm of his hand.

You bite your tongue to keep from whimpering too loudly. “Need you to relax,” he presses into you even more firmly, “Get you ready for me.”

He slowly eases his hand off of your face. “Joel, please.” You’re not even sure what you’re asking for, you just know you need more. You want him to consume you entirely. Feel him until he’s all there is.

You hear the sound of a belt buckle and his jeans shifting. Instinctually, you move a hand towards him, wanting to help, wanting to feel him. “There’ll be time for that, right now it’s about you.” You’re about to argue when he skillfully adds another finger. Fuck. “You’re tight,” he breathes, “No one’s ever touched you here?”

His fingers curl inside of you and you have to burry your face into the fabric of his shirt to keep from crying out. “Only you.”

“Look who’s found her manners.” He’s picking up the pace and smoothing down your hair as you squirm against him. “Should’ve done this sooner.” Just as the coil in your lower stomach tightens, Joel takes his hand back.

You push yourself off of him, staring at him with an expression you know he’ll consider pouting. “Why’d you--”

“Because I want you to remember this.” He pushes you back to the wall, pressing his body against you. The head of his cock brushes against your entrance. With no warning, he pushes into you. Your sharp gasp overlaps with Joel’s low groan. “Y’need a man to fuck the attitude out of you.” He moves slowly, the friction unbelievably overwhelming and somehow not enough. “That boy wouldn’t know what to do with you.”

Joel presses you further into the wall, sinking into you as deep as possible before pulling out just to sink back in. His pace is even until his breathing picks up. You’re a mess against him, hiding your face in his chest when he starts fucking you with full force.

“You’re squeezing me so good.” Joel practically pants the words into your skin. “Fuck, ‘m going to--you gonna finish with me, sweetheart?”

Your mind is mush, you can barely nod against him as his thrusts start to lose their focus. You’re pushed over the edge as Joel’s teeth graze against your neck. He pulls at your orgasm, dragging it along until your legs are jelly and he’s pulling out in order to not finish inside you.

The two of you stay holding onto each other for what feels like a long time and not enough. “You’re not goin’ anywhere, okay?”

You pull your head off of him enough to look him in the eye. “Not without you.”

He smiles, lines that you can imagine kissing forever etching themselves into his skin. “That’s my girl.” Joel runs a hand up and down your back fondly. “Let’s go to bed,” he presses a kiss against your jaw, “Give me the space to properly appreciate you.”

The thought makes your body burn all over again. “You sure you aren’t tired out, old man?”

Joel huffs out what’s almost a laugh, “We’ll see who’s tiring who out, sweetheart.”

#joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #tlou fanfic #tlou x reader #the last of us x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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project-sekai-facts · 9 months

Note

helloo

if you want too could you do a relationship analysis for Mafuyu and Kanade? you’re very good at turning thoughts into words and i feel they’ve got a really interesting dynamic.

Kanade and Mafuyu’s relationship is complicated, to say the least. I often see people write their dynamic off as toxic and the thing is, that’s not necessarily untrue. Less so where we are now, but it’s not wrong if you’re reading events pre-Carnation Recollection.

Here’s how it works. Mafuyu and Kanade are both severely depressed, both have been suicidal at points. They are not healthy. They found each other, both of them being people that life hadn’t been kind to. They don’t talk about it, though. When they do, they become dependent on each other to live. It’s not healthy.

Kanade’s talent caused her father to overwork himself into a coma, leaving her with a saviour complex. She hurt her father with her music, she’s never going to let it hurt anyone again. She forms Niigo in hopes that she’ll save someone, and she does. She saves Ena, she saves Mizuki, but it’s not enough. When Mafuyu is on the brink of giving it all up, Kanade promises to keep composing until she can save Mafuyu. She projects her complex onto Mafuyu.

Mafuyu wants to die during the main story, but Kanade’s song is able to get through to her. It doesn’t save her by any means, but it left enough of a mark on her to manifest into the SEKAI. Kanade promises to save her. Someone cares, someone is willing to help. But how can anyone help Mafuyu when she can’t help herself, when she can’t help them help her. She doesn’t know what she feels, she doesn’t even know she can feel anything. But Kanade believes there’s more below the surface, more to keep searching for.

Kanade needs to save someone, Mafuyu needs saving.

None of the songs save Mafuyu, they barely have an effect on her, so Kanade keeps going, and going, and going. She needs to save Mafuyu because she wants her music to save people. It doesn't have to be Mafuyu that she saves, Mafuyu just happens to be there.

However, Carnation Recollection brings some changes. Here, we have the arrival of Luka. Luka who’s honest, not afraid to push the N25 members when they need to be pushed. She tells Kanade that her song will not save Mafuyu. Why is she doing this? What does she want this song to achieve? What does she want Mafuyu to see and realise with this song?

She realises later on that the difference between her music and her father's music is that his had warmth. Warmth because he wanted his music to make Kanade and her mother smile.

So what does she want? Well she doesn't want Mafuyu to disappear, but that's because she's projecting her personal losses and complex onto Mafuyu. She wants Mafuyu to stay alive so she doesn't get hurt.

The better question is how does she want Mafuyu to feel? What does she want Mafuyu to do with this song? She wants Mafuyu to find herself, but Kanade doesn't know who Mafuyu is. She remembers Luka's words, and thinks about what she wants Mafuyu to feel. She wants Mafuyu to feel the same way her mother did when listening to her father's music. She wants Mafuyu to smile. It's still personally driven, but it's an improvement, she's growing. This isn't just for her anymore. And it works, Mafuyu feels something, she feels warm. It's different from the coldness she's felt her whole life.

Mafuyu's life lacks any warmth, Mirage of Lights makes this clear. Her mother is cold, she doesn't care about Mafuyu, she just cares about what Mafuyu is. Talented, smart, overachieving; that's what she cares about. Mafuyu is just a vessel for her to project the perfect child onto.

Kanade's song made her feel something new. She's not sure how or why but she wants to find out. After looking at a photo album from when she was a child, she realises that she was able to feel emotions differently back then. Kanade's song managed to chip at the person she once was.

When Mafuyu falls ill, Kanade looks after her. Not for her own needs but because she cares. Mafuyu feels something again, the same warmth and love her mother used to give her before everything went bitter. It's something she hasn't felt in a long time.

It's here where holding hands becomes something of a recurring thing for the two of them. While the Gunjou Sanka MV illustrates this, this is the first time it's actually in the original text. Kanade holds Mafuyu's hand until she falls asleep because she cares, she wants to make Mafuyu feel better, she wants her to smile. All the things her mother used to do for her. All the things she doesn't have anymore.

What was once dependence becomes something else. Trust, solace, refuge.

Don't worry. I'll stay right here. Here, hold my hand. I won't let you be all alone. I won't go anywhere…

I want you to feel what I did. I want you to smile the way I did back then.

I think I can keep moving forward. Right, Kanade…?

At one point during Intersecting Melodies, Glowing Warmth, Honami calls Mafuyu Kanade's friend. Kanade seems surprised, maybe a little confused by that. But at this point I think that's what they are. They aren't just acquaintances or groupmates anymore, it's not just Kanade trying to save Mafuyu. It's Kanade genuinely caring for Mafuyu, trying to make her smile and feel. It's Mafuyu who's grateful for Kanade's care and determination. Later on in that event, Mafuyu seems to realise the same thing. Seeing Kanade happy makes her feel warm, helping Kanade makes her feel warm.

The next time they hold hands is in Guiding a Lost Child to What Lies Beyond. It's warm again. Kanade helps her, the rest of N25 are kind to her and help her. It's nothing like she feels at home. She's not afraid of them. It's home.

By immiscible discord it becomes truly apparent that Mafuyu's mother doesn't care about her. Everything she does makes her daughter hurt, more and more, it's cold and painful. But Kanade is the warmth to fight back against that cold. She remembers her own parents, her family. They wanted the best for each other, they wanted each other to smile. It was happy, comforting. Warm. Mafuyu doesn't have that, but Kanade is determined to let her have it, even if her actual family isn't involved. Kanade promises to stay by Mafuyu's side, because she cares her. She loves her more than her mother ever could.

And then by Saying Goodbye to My Masked Self, Mrs Asahina views Kanade as an enemy. She outright says to Mafuyu at one point that she loves her, not Kanade. She only wants what's best for her. But she doesn't. The person who truly cares, understands, wants to help her, and loves her...

is Kanade

When Mafuyu runs away, she goes to Kanade. She knows where Ena lives, Ena had even said that she would probably be able to take Mafuyu. But Mafuyu goes to Kanade. Kanade is home, her real one, more than her family.

Where we are in the game now, it's clear that they are very important to each other. In fact, they're probably the most important people to each other. Kanade's family cannot take care of her, but they love her. Mafuyu's family doesn't truly love her, but they can take care of her.

Neither of them are really in a good state to do it, but they can take care of each other.

---

Kanade and Mafuyu's relationship isn't an entirely healthy one. It's comes from a foundation that makes their relationship a potentially toxic one, but they learn to heal. Healing is what their dynamic is about. Kanade projects her complex onto Mafuyu, Mafuyu is dependent on Kanade to live. It's not healthy, but they heal together.

Kanade realises her selfish goals, she reworks them. She doesn't just want Mafuyu to survive, she wants her to live. She wants to see her smile, she wants to see her be happy. Mafuyu experiences a sense of comfort with Kanade for the first time in years. They grow to be friends rather than just acquaintances, the complete dependency wears away into something closer to trust, comfort. A mutual bond that's hard to pin down but is built from a developing love.

Kanade and Mafuyu are opposites. Everything about their lives is opposite, though it all links back to warmth vs coldness. A happy family who loves each other vs a "happy family" who loves the concept of what their child is. A warm person who makes music vs an icy person who takes it away. Asahina vs Yoisaki.

Despite all of that, they both hurt. Their pain is different but they can relate to how it feels. Neither of them want to hurt anymore, and it becomes neither of them wanting the other to hurt anymore.

Kanade and Mafuyu's relationship is complex. It was started by a complex. But I think looking at it now, it's much more than it started out as.

#i impulsively wrote the first part of this at 1am sorry for any errors #asks #mod talks #love is used platonically because that's the canon way but interpret how you like i guess #kanade yoisaki #mafuyu asahina #i did not proofread this at all #project sekai

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buckttommy · 26 days

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JACK! I am deeply curious to know where YOU stand/fall on the poll you posted?

Objectively speaking? Yes, they have endgame potential.

But a lot—and I mean A LOT—of work would have to go into moving that potential from a theoretical possibility to a genuine reality. Some of that work has already been done, what with Tim being intentional about developing a love interest for Buck that's not segmented away from the rest of the firefam, but that's the easy part tbh. They'd still have to 1) establish Tommy's character as a character unto himself, 2) define Buck and Tommy's relationship outside of the shadow of Buck and Eddie's relationship, 3) introduce a character that would be Eddie's endgame (because that's something you'd have to consider now that you're intentionally severing this will-they-won't-they bond between Buck and Eddie), and 4) convince the audience that these are the two endgame ships they should be rooting for without making them feel like they're being convinced, because that would blow the whole thing up in their faces instantly... all in a limited amount of time (9-1-1 isn't going to last forever).

So. Yeah. A lot of work.

All that to say, it's not impossible. I have a tentative idea for how it could work (a thought exercise, if-not-this-then-that)—what kind of character would need to be introduced for Eddie, what kind of archetypes would need to be in place for Tommy + Female Character, what kind of plots and tropes would need to unfold on-screen in order to not just neutralize the die-hard fans, but sway their opinions toward these two ships, etc. all by taking into account 9-1-1's existing and brand new audiences. But the writers/Tim would really need to sit with the decision and decide whether or not it's worth the effort to establish TWO endgame ships for their most popular characters when said characters are already six seasons deep into an accidental marriage with each other.

This is why I say that Buddie is only thing that makes sense. It's the only ending that does the characters and their journeys justice, sure, but it's so much more than that. There are layers—complicated and tangled layers—that would cost (literally!) more money to untangle than it would to just say "thank you" to the writing gods for hand-delivering an endgame ship on a silver platter and just going with the flow. You know? Yes, Buddie makes the most sense narratively. Of course, it does. But technically? It truly does not get much better than this.

You don't have to like it. You know? You don't have to like Buddie at all. But you have to recognize that this is the dynamic that most shows dream of—accidental or not. How they started—what was intended for their relationship—doesn't even matter now. What matters is where they are, and where they are is at a crossroads where they can either go with the flow, or do a complete overhaul that would run the risk of shattering everything. And, I have to give credit where credit is due—if anyone could pull this off, the 9-1-1 writers could. They are incredibly strong and skilled at what they do. But Tim et. al. need to make a choice, and they need to make it now, because if they wait too much longer, the story is going to start to drag. It's going to start to feel lazy. People aren't going to be satisfied with the "Buck and Eddie are getting their shit together so they can be ready for each other" excuse forever.

Now. Me personally? I'm in it for the long-haul. I love Buck and Eddie, I love Buddie, so whatever happens, I'm here for it. I've already said a thousand times over that their relationship could go canon at any point, even in the final episode (though I want there to be at least two seasons of them together before the show ends), and I would be completely satisfied with that. But we're rapidly approaching the point of no return, wherein Tim etc. need to make a firm decision and stick with it. If they've decided Buddie? Great. Good. Can't wait to see it. But if they've decided on something else, they're the ones that need to get their shit together and kick it into high gear quickly.

TBH.

But anyways.

#hmm #i'm going to stop talking now. lol #as you can see #i've thought about this. in great detail. lol. but anyways.#tv: 911 #jack answers mail

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laufire · 12 days

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I don’t know if you’re still doing the AU ask game but what are your thoughts on the “Jason and Damian meet each other via LOA” au? I know you’re writing a young justice au and that’s basically canon in that universe right? I don’t headcanon them knowing each other early in mainline canon but as a separate au/elseworld sort of thing it does intrigue me

if my inbox is open, consider it fair game for any asks (from a game or otherwise) you might send :P

when it comes to mainline canon, no, I don't headcanon them knowing each other during the lost days era, and that goes into my own headcanons on the al ghuls and damian's upbringing.

my view in that respect takes some things from what morrison built with damian into account, but ignores anything that's in contradiction with batman: son of the demon. the result is, among other things, that I 100% believe talia tried to put damian up for adoption, but ra's caught up to it. the years later, in part as a punishment, in part because of his need to be the most (maybe the only) important person in talia's life, as well as a desire to control, and to mold damian specifically, ra's limited how much damian and talia were in each other's lives. am I the only one who sees some parallels with bruce's parenting here btw.

in my head this means that, at most (and this is something I do use in some WIPs), damian got to see jason from afar when he was catatonic, maybe a few times. later... well, after jason almost kills bruce before stopping himself, talia definitely doesn't want them to meet. if she ever contemplated the option of introducing them (probably never that seriously, just as a distant possibility if at all) after jason started to kill on behalf of victims, particularly children, she weighted the options (jason's protectiveness over children vs. his bruce issues) and decided not to.

now, for the young justice cartoon fic! it is true that jason and damian know each other day, since damian was born specifically. but this doesn't happen in the league of assassins (league of shadows in the show) because by the time damian is born, the al ghuls have left the league LOL.

I actually headcanon that the al ghul's left the league BECAUSE damian was going to be born. I think talia put her foot down and ra's actually listened, and decided he'd accomplish his goals in a way that would compromise for his daughter's desires (young justice makes room for both bruce AND ra's to be better parents. ain't that something lol).

as for some headcanons about jason and damian in this 'verse! (which will be canon. in my fic. xDD)

the (canon) birthdates for them are 1999 for jason, and 2018 for damian. that's an almost 20 years gap and imo it significally affects how they relate to one another. in many ways, jason is a quasi-parental figure more than a brotherly one (he wouldn't call damian his son, but he's... his brother, his kid... his, you know?). at the beginning of the fic, when they're hiding from the new league of shadows, their cover is actually father and son lol.

related to the above: I headcanon that yes, this one time jason and talia do have a biiiiiiiit of a surrogate mother-son relationship (talia was born in 1984 btw). BUT. only because it comes with heavy doses of spousification/parentification lol. this contributed to that kind of dynamic with damian, because in this world talia's pregnancy was complicated, damian's health was at risk when he was born, talia had one hell of a post-partum depression... basically, despite the fact that jason himself wasn't at his peak then (canonically he just started regaining some memories after this), talia relied a lot on him at this time. if bruce can do it with HIS robins... xD

re: jason's health. he dies in 2013, and yet in 2018, when he has his first appearance on the show, he's not recovered (he doesn't say much, he struggles when he does, and we're told he has memory issues). my personal headcanon is that this jason doesn't go into the pit and recovers the long, hard way. I love giving characters chronic issues so I've decided he has aphasia. mostly expressed with difficulties talking, but sometimes reading as well. this was all to say that by the time my fic starts damian is six and he's gotten in the habit of reading to jason (has been learning to read by doing this, actually lol). this includes political/philosophical books that are definitely not aimed at kids his age (but damian's upbringing, albeit not as terrible as in the mainline, has been sui generis), but also "the demon headmaster", because jason think he's really funny.

I've decided to take one of the few things I liked about how they wrote dcau!jason (but with my own spin) and given him an older bio sister. the age different wasn't AS big as with him and damian, but circumstances conspired so that dani had to take care of jason on the streets (in this canon, I have her as barely 17 when she died, with jason as 10 when he meets bruce). jason picked up on quite a few things from her.

due to several reasons (including the fact that the joker's been dead for a while, at harley's hands), jason is less interested in a utrh-type crusade here. he's instead put it all on damian. he's who he'd die for and kill for and fight the entire world for.

#replies #kittycatninja321 #ty! i had a lot of fun answering this one :D #talking to he void #my thoughts #dc #dc comics #young justice #young justice wip #dc thoughts #dcau #jason todd #damian al ghul #damian wayne #talia al ghul #bat clan

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wisteriagoesvroom · 2 months

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re: card shark!max/security!george (you’re infecting me)

george spending hours and hours up in the security booth watching the tables. becoming slowly obsessed with max’s game because he Can Tell something’s up but no one else on the security team believes him. and he watches analyzing every detail to the point where he feels like he knows max all from his observations from the cameras

bonus points for jealous!george watching max flirt with the billionaires he’s about to dupe out of tens of thousands of dollars

double bonus points for undercover!george befriending max to try and get him to give up the secret to his game but oops this relationship got way more complicated than he planned and maybe he kind of likes (???!!!) max romancing him with the help of all the money he’s won

double double bonus points for the angst when max finds out the man he’d slowly been falling for was investigating him the whole time

(wiz why are you doing this to me what am i becoming)

*POINTS* GAX PPL WE GOT ANOTHER ONE!!! JUL YOU’RE COOKINGGGGGGGG

if only i knew enough about casinos and stuff to attempt writing this aksjsksks

I LOVE IT SO MUCH anyway some pics for a mood board for anyone who might want to attempt it or just for funsies

no but rly this dynamic (“do i like you? we have a shared history and i think i’m supposed to like you but also something about you intellectually challenges me and grinds tf out of my gears at a molecular level”) is so underrated

#party with the gax ers #wiz.askbox #Gax #casino!gax AU

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ahundredtimesover · 1 month

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WOOWEEE i’m still processing the new chapter 🥹 i just wanna stress that there’s multiple realities, guys. jk wanting to respect oc by upholding her wishes to grow, but also feeling abandoned by her choices despite him baring his emotions and desire to have her close by. then you have oc feeling the burden of her family ties/debt with the jeon family and wanting to find out who she is away from her current role, but she’s emotionally attached to jk and it’s blurring with her own goals. not only that, we see jk’s codependency on oc and how that could make her feel more chained down. ultimately she’s always needed by someone, but when has she put her needs first?

as mentioned, this is all so deeply rooted. they need to spend time away from each other to grow. jk is probably going to retreat/relapse to his past behaviors or maybe he’ll also be working on himself so that he can be a better partner for oc … my guts say former because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i’m an angst enthusiast.

ALSO i see lots of ppl saying UGH JUST STAY AND DATE, and while yes … this is a fic, this is a slice of life too. yall realize it is super inappropriate to have a secret relationship with your boss? granted all of my bosses have been old balding dudes and not jk, still … it’s the principle 😭 oc and jk having this “separation” period is good (i’m sleeping on the highway) and needed for their character development. i’m sure theyre gunna meet again and the tension is gunna be so high and they will do the boom boom pow💥🤯😏 without feeling that guilt/weird power dynamic!! 🫶🏼

mimi, you’re so awesome and i love this fic so much. YOUR BRAIN IS SO BEAUTIFUL, MUAH!!!!!!! 💋 you did not disappoint with the make out scene … cuz man if they can get like that on their first kiss … WE ARE NOT READY (i am🤲🏼)!! pls take care of yourself as always and hope you have a lovely day

Hi, anon. I took a break from doing my readings bc this just... this just made me smile and it appeased me (as did a lot of other readers' asks and comments) 🥹🥹 especially considering the other asks claiming how the characters are so dumb and stupid, or that they can just date while OC's in the company or date after she resigns. I would like to copy-paste your first paragraph to everything now hahaha (bc oh god the immense joy of a writer when someone accurately says what I was trying to show is insane and that's what I'm feeling!) 😭😭

Like, you couldn't have said it any better. All those things you mentioned can co-exist, and part of the characters' respective stories is learning that those realities can indeed co-exist. Which is why they're as burdened by their choices as they are (and we'll see more of this in ch12). I'd like for you to park that second paragraph bc... I wrote this entire series with the plan for season 2 so whatever happens at the end of this season, know that more will happen and you kind of raised some points already. 👀👀

And with the boss/asst. thing - YES. The power dynamic goes beyond their roles bc their pasts are intertwined as well. Mr. Ri pointed it out to JK - did he want OC to feel indebted to him, too? There are just so many complications. It's always been about needing to feel free for OC. What that freedom means is something she has yet to explore. Even the question of happiness is something she's figuring out.

BUT THANK YOU, like, really. 🥹🥹 It's always tricky and draining to write super long stories like this bc I need to make sure that the characters and storylines are consistent, and knowing that what I intended comes across (most of the time) is truly worth all the stress of writing this one hahaha I hope you're well and I hope to hear from you and your wonderful mind again! 💕💕💕

#mimianswers #fic: iwyts #let me smooch u anon

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bestworstcase · 1 month

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I am vexed bestworstcase, vexed! I am trying to write dialogue/interactions between Salem and Oscar and struggling with their characterizations. I keep turning the interrogation/false-start reunion scene in the whale over and over again in my mind. What would it look like for Oscar and Salem to be forced to talk to and interact with each other on more even ground or working towards a truce? (With a big ol Oz shaped elephant in the room.) I want to get across Oscar as an active participant with autonomy and not flatten him, while also reckoning with Salem’s complex headspace around this whole shitshow. Do you have an idea of how you’d approach writing that dynamic? Any advice on how to make such a dynamic hold true to their characters while being an interesting exploration of their relationship? [What fucking happens if they’re kind to each other when they’re both expecting cruelty???] Genuinely interested in your thoughts on this considering the show itself will inevitable have to revisit this dynamic at its climax and conclusion

basics first. my general read on salem is that she has a solid grasp of what makes people tick but struggles to articulate her thoughts clearly, and this has cascading impacts on her speech: if she isn’t delivering planned and rehearsed remarks, she seems to either circumlocute (in ways that are, textually, confusing: “what are you saying” + her inner circle’s wildly different interpretations of what she means) or just say nothing at all.

i think this reading explains salem’s manner of speech far better than the pure ‘manipulative, lying puppetmaster’ angle a lot of the fandom ascribes to her, because there are these incidents—like the interrogation scene—where salem is being manipulative and her tactics are very cunning but undermined by her erratic or flat affect and unclear speech; if she were a masterful manipulator being cryptic on purpose for the sake of deception, she would be able to turn that off and speak plainly in situations where being cryptic is counterproductive to her purpose. but it really doesn’t seem like she can do that.

complicating all this is that 1. i think salem is aware that she’s Not Good at conversation, and 2. she wants to be understood. her constant seething about ozma’s lies is partly from the traumatic betrayal of her trust and also partly because he’s spent the intervening centuries poisoning the well against her to ensure that anyone who meets her will have the preconceived notion that she’s an unfeeling, unreasonable, inhuman monster. so there’s a degree of self-protection in her silence and her aversion to talking about herself, i think—if ozma couldn’t give her the benefit of the doubt, why would she expect better from anyone else?

with oscar specifically—i’m assuming a post-v8/9 context—there’s also the complication of salem having. tortured him. the last time they spoke which i feel is almost a bigger goliath in the room than oz is, because salem is actually pretty on the ball with separating oscar from her feelings about ozma. but the torture is very personal and very fraught for both of them; do you acknowledge it? apologize? ask for an apology? if oscar doesn’t bring it up, should she? is salem doesn’t acknowledge what she did, how does oscar navigate whatever feelings he might have about that or assumptions he might make as to why (is she pretending it never happened? does she think it doesn’t matter? will she get angry if he brings it up? the last time he tried to reason with someone ironwood shot him off a ledge)? it’s delicate.

some uh, general things that i try to hold in mind when i write dialogue for salem:

what is she thinking and not saying?

why isn’t she saying it? is she afraid of not being understood or is she not able to see the gaps or is she not sure how to put it into words?

what does she mean?

is this something she planned out in advance (or something she talks about often enough to have a sort of script in her mind), or is she speaking off the cuff?

when in doubt, she should probably say less

remember that her affect gets erratic and weird when she’s really uncertain

does she have people on her side whom she can kind of rely on to fill in the gaps (eg, summer) or is she on her own?

her soliloquies are eloquent, even poetic; her speech tends to be simpler. she rarely uses metaphors in conversation.

she tends to answer questions by giving examples that imply her intended meaning, and i am… not sure she realizes that she’s doing it. (cinder in v5 is a good example: salem says “never underestimate the usefulness of others; take leonardo, he was one of ozpin’s most trusted, and now…” when what she means is she’s hoping she can turn ruby against oz later)

when she isn’t sure how to respond she sort of stares blankly into the middle distance for a second or two. (she does it with cinder in v5 and oscar in v8)

oscar is similar in a way because i think he spends a lot of time in his head and it’s rare for him to get to a point of emotional enough to let out… any of the deep existential fear he’s living in, and i get the sense that he’s very conscious of what he says—which can come out in awkward stammering but also in a very deliberate cadence when he’s feeling more confident or determined or too focused on what he’s trying to express to feel self-conscious about it. but at the same time he’s easier because he doesn’t have, gestures at salem and her labyrinth of emotional armor, all of that. and wasn’t alone for millions of years.

with the specific context of olive branches and peace talks i think—esp at first—salem’s liable to be pretty tangibly awkward? because being asked questions and engaged with like a Person instead of a Fairytale Witch runs so counter to her expectations for how people will treat her. kind of a rattling experience, and nerve-wracking.

rewatching scenes is always useful. i try to take note of like body language and cadence ’cause achieving dialogue that feels in character is as much about how the character talks as what sort of things they say. and also thinking about character goals and emotionality—what are they trying to get from this interaction, how do their feelings influence their speech, do they succeed or fail and why?—is helpful too. what motivates the words they say? what motivates the thoughts they keep to themselves?

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moreespressoformydepresso · 2 months

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Just curious but are vipsania and treech your favourite mentor and tribute dynamic to analyse and headcanon for ?

Yes 🥰

Treech is my favorite tribute because Snow calls him an “unknown” but there’s still so much to read into, especially in the books. Swinging his feet on the scoreboard, choosing to not fight until Lamina’s death (which implies it kind of broke something in him to me), and also he juggles walnuts in the zoo so he might be some kind of performer. And I’m a theater nerd so of course I like him. My favorite character overall is Lucy Gray and part of it is how she’s a performer (but honestly she’s just a good, well written character). Also, district 7 is my favorite district and I wish we knew more about it. So yeah, Treech’s relationship with his mentor is naturally something I like exploring.

And boy is there a lot to explore, even when we know barely anything about either of these characters. Because what little we do know has so much to theorize about. One of the few things we know about Vipsania is that her aunt works at the academy as gymnasium mistress and they’re both very competitive. Already a lot we can do with that given that the tributes are mostly seen as tools by the mentors. I already told you I think Vipsania mostly tried to win by sabotaging others rather than helping Treech, and the first part comes from the guitar thing. The second part? It comes from the fact that Treech repeatedly does things for himself that are her responsibility. He performs in the zoo, which means at the very least he isn’t given enough food by Vipsania. During the games, he chooses to steal food multiple times, which means he doesn’t trust her to send him any.

Sorry there’s just so much to unpack despite how small their presences were in the book. I love them so much and several fix-its of mine revolve around their dynamic and how it changes over time. I especially love exploring mentor/tribute relationships that aren’t just good or bad. Say about Snow what you want but he was a good mentor that went above and beyond, and while he saw Lucy Gray as “his” he did genuinely seem to love her. Festus Creed was trying to be a good mentor, he just sucks as a person thanks to his prejudice. Those relationships are fun to write too, but it’s more interesting to me to explore a relationship that’s complicated, and Vipsania gives me the room to do that. Her being angry/upset at Treech’s death can be read as her being a sore loser, but maybe there was also a little bit of her actually caring about him there. She is a sore loser, but there may be more to it and I ran with that.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #treech tbosas #treech #thg treech #tbosas treech #treech thg #vipsania sickle #treech analysis #character analysis #analysis #I guess?#anon ask #i love them your honor #also I push the men and women can be just friends agenda

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wolfsbanesparks · 1 year

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Bouncing in here like a madman again

Do you think Captain Marvel (seperate from Billy) considers the Wizard SHAZAM as their father as a sort of creator and creation relationship? Giving room for Billy and grandpa wizard relationship kinda?

I've had a lot of sugar today, so I'm not sure how that sounds, but I kept thinking about your fic, "Split", and how if things took a different turn and Captain Marvel revealed he existed because of the Wizard, would the JL come to the assumption that the wizard was his father/Billy's grandfather?

Or if things took an angstier turn, if Captain Marvel let slip accidentally that he didn't believe that the death of Billy's mother (and actual father) was a genuine accident/had suspicions about it, how would they react? Would they suspect the wizard bc of all the suspicions they're having? Also, I'm not sure if I remember, but did the JL get to have a conversation with the wizard?

Kinda factors into that one ask I sent before, where the gods killed the parents of the champions of magic to challenge and prepare them without them knowing, which might include the wizard, too. (Sorry, I re watched the Guardians of the Galaxy 2 recently and it's been doing numbers on my little mind)

In all seriousness you could write an AU for your fics and we'd eat it all up and ask for seconds because your writing creates a universe of wonder for us.

That was a lot, wow :0

Okay first of all you are so sweet! It's driving me crazy (in a good way) that I can discuss AUs of my fics!

I think that the Wizard already plays a sort of wise grandfather figure to Billy (in my preferred version of him) regardless of Captain Marvel's feelings towards the Wizard.

But I think it's totally logical for Captain Marvel to think of the Wizard as a creator figure, especially in his current incarnation since it was just Shazam who made him instead of a full Wizard's Council. There's respect between them, but Marvel also wants to make Shazam proud, wants to prove he's a good Champion. And I think that can translate to a father-son type dynamic even if it's a lot more complicated than that.

If we're talking Split in particular, the JL "met" the Wizard but Shazam didn't bother talking to any of them so their many confusions and suspicions didn't get brought up to him directly.

But if they had reason to believe Shazam was Marvel’s father, Flash in particular would have been having a freak out because the Wizard would have gone from possibly sketchy mentor to controlling and possibly abusive father/grandfather. He might have even had more people on his side if that was the case (especially if we add in the idea that the Batsons were killed as some kind of test of Billy’s pure heart).

There would still be those who insist that they shouldn't get in the middle of their complicated and potentially messy family situation. But there would also be those who wonder if Marvel had a choice in becoming a hero if his father was the one who imbued him with his powers because it was his "destiny". I can definitely picture Marvel bluescreening if someone asked him if he'd had a choice in being a hero (he didn't, and Billy didn't either) or if he'd ever wanted something else for himself (it had never occurred to him that he could be anything else because he was created to fight evil). His answer would definitely send up some red flags to whoever he's talking to.

There are so many cool ways having people think Shazam is Marvel’s father could play out and it would be so fun to explore that.

And since you mentioned it, while I don’t currently have plans to write an AU of my fics, I AM completely open to other people writing AUs of my fics if they are inspired enough to do it! So long as you credit me as the original author/check the Inspired By box when you post, I encourage you to go for it!

#ask me whatever you want y'all #shazam #billy batson #dc captain marvel #fanfic asks #this could have been a really cool extra layer to the mess that was the misunderstandings in that fic #the JL would have had a whole new set of rumors to sort through #and Zatanna would have completely freaked out at thinking there was some sort of strange family legacy thing going on with the Champion #this is so fun to think about

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dollypopup · 2 months

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You are obviously THE Stein/Marie person of the Soul Eater fandom. Couple questions if you’d be so kind.

Any fanfics besides your own you’d recommend for Stein/Marie?

Also, would you mind sharing whatever your thoughts are on Stein and Spirit’s relationship?

(I finally finished the manga, so I can dive into your fics at last without fear of spoilers! 😊)

Oh wow! I am? Haha, I just love them so much as a couple! I think they bring out the absolute best in each other, and several years after the fact, I do still get giddy about them as a pair! That warms my heart that so many years later, people think of me when they think of this pairing <3

I have soooo many fanfic recommendations! I made a post ages ago about them, you can find it HERE but since making it there have been several great stories that have come out.

If You Read Anything, Read This

Worthy by @flourchildwrites (the best SteinMarie fic ever written. Period. and I'll say that with my entire chest over and over again. An exploration of them growing up together as Meister-Weapon pair. Poignant, perfectly in character, and so so well written)

Marie's Guide to Dating a Self-Proclaimed Sociopath by @ohmytheon (anything ohmytheon writes that's SteinMarie is a guaranteed BANGER. every single time. other fantastic fics by them include Just Breathe , From Great Heights , Who Did I Think We Were? , and if M and E are more your style, Sexology and there's something at work in my soul (FMA AU!!! brilliantly made)

Some one shots that are fun reads

Fluff

20/20 vision by supine_with_stein (eclaire_and_pocky)

Study Buddy

False Alarm! by benedicteggs

I Simply Must Be Loving You by lukieee

Cold Hands, Warm Heart by thehopelessunromantic (DoctorCannoli)

Kid Fics

Room for Two by MicrosuedeMouse

Paradigm Shift

Father Figure by benjaminfinns

Angst

Not Quite Lichtenberg by Webtrinsic

Becoming Naive by raspberryfanfics

Smut

Stitched by secret_wanderer19

As for Stein and Spirit, I'll put that one under a read more

I have some complicated feelings about Stein and Spirit. I think what Stein did to him is an irreparable harm, honestly, to the point where even at the end of the Manga and Series, Spirit has a lot of complex PTSD to work through regarding him. He's his watchdog, his babysitter, chained to him through circumstance whether he wants it or not. Spirit is a lonely man. I don't know how often that's discussed, but by the end of the series, truly, Spirit has lost everything.

At the start of it, this dynamic is different. Stein is the one who has nothing to his name save his talents when he first comes to and leaves the DWMA, and Spirit is the one who has everything. He has friends, a family. A daughter and a wife and a good job, a good meister. THE best meister, arguably, considering he is Lord Death's weapon. And then he ends it with nothing: a shattered relationship with his daughter he is still in the midst of attempting to fix, an ex-wife who cannot stand to be in the same country as him, friends who roll their eyes at his antics, a dead meister, a dead God.

You contrast this with Stein, who begins with nothing. A belief he cannot love, cannot be close to anyone, who experiments on his partner like a lab rat, distancing himself from the realities of this breach of trust. And then he ends the series with everything Spirit once had, on the up and up. A loving partner, close connections, a position of authority in his workplace, a daughter on the way.

Stein and Spirit are foils, when one is heads up, the other is tails. And I think there's a lot that Spirit wants to say to him that he can't, because he still has fear toward Stein. Very justifiable fear. And in truth, though I think Stein has some form of comradery with Spirit, he doesn't view him as a full person, which leads to a very strained relationship between them, if it can be truly called such. They're drawn together partly against their will, partly through circumstance, partly through the past. They have a lot to work through if they actually want to be friends (something I personally wouldn't consider them), but I think the reality is that Stein wasn't sorry, and that will always be a wall between them that will be insurmountable. He doesn't have remorse for what he did to Spirit, and I think Spirit may always feel some kind of way about 'What was it about me? You could do that to me but not to someone else? To Marie?'

Spirit has a lot to work through, personally, and Stein exacerbates that because he is the wound that Spirit cannot ever fully heal. Stein was, in many ways, Spirit's first heartbreak. Part of why he drinks, part of why he looks for escape in other things, other people. And though time has softened that, though Spirit may show up to a wedding (if there is one) or to visit Baby Shelley (my own HC for the baby girl he and Marie have), there will always have to be some distance there, so Spirit doesn't fully break.

And for Stein? I think Stein considered Spirit his friend at first, and then his warden afterward. Come to check on him to make sure he hasn't found his end at the wrong side of a scalpel. Wandering into his home with deadened eyes and distance on Death's account. At the end, on the Battle of the Moon, when Spirit says he watches out for him more than he does his own daughter, it's not born out of tenderness, but obligation. And with Death dead and the world beginning in new form, I don't think even that will be in place, anymore.

And truthfully? I think that distance is what may truly help him heal.

Thank you so much for your ask! <3 <3

#steinmarie #soul eater

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polyamzeal · 8 months

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Would you ever consider writing something about red flags in polyam dating? I'm so new to the community (and dating in general) that I feel like it'd be really helpful

If you google it some results come up. I feel like I would have a very hard time because everyone is different. What might be a red flag might be a pink(?) flag for someone else. I think our society likes to conflate a single one flag with "Absolutely stay away at all costs" when it is suppose to be, "Take this into careful consideration and if there are too many red flags then it might be a good idea to stay away." But here are some of the ones that stand out to me.

Overly structured relationships, especially unbalanced ones. It is good to know what we want and polyamory allows us to structure the exact kind of relationship we want. But it also allows great flexibility in our relationships. And if that flexibility is being ignored for complete devotion to a certain structure that can be concerning. These include only dating as a couple, OPP, or coerced mono-polyam partnership. Being really strict about wanting lap-sitting polyamory or Don't Ask Don't Tell also falls under these. As well as Hierarchy vs non-Hierarchy. Maybe they have good reasons to pursue these dynamics, some of which are often very toxic, but never being open to discuss the alternative is even worse than starting off there. I find OPP awful but lots of couples start there when first opening up and quickly transition away from it.

Being too self-centered or selfish. By its nature, polyamory is more community focused than monogamous dyad dating, even if only in a closed triad. I am not saying that polyamorous people need to be selfless charities. But I think a good polyamory person has at least some ability to recognize when their own needs are legitimate met and they can put effort toward or make a sacrifice for someone else that doesn't directly benefit themselves. But a sub-set of polyamorous people can be very selfish. This is where we find the harem seekers, NRE junkies, and the cowboys/cowgirls (we seriously need a better label for that). These people want lots of partners but will manipulate their partners to not pay attention or spend time with their other partners.

Bad relationships with other partners. This one is really tricky and nuisance. Not every polyam relationships require you to meet your metamours, a DADT relationship is controversial but can sometimes work in a healthy way in extreme cases. But even if you don't meet their other partners, if they are always talking bad about them to you that can be a problem. If the other partner is calling to yell at them a lot, that is suspicious. Many couples open up their relationship, realize the initial relationship is really toxic, and want to get out while continuing other polyam relationships. I'm not saying cut those people out to leave them high and dry. But know that their will be additional baggage there. And sometimes the person you are dating is the toxic one, that their other partners are correct to not get along with them. All couples fight so don't judge this on one or two incidents. But if there are no happy moments with their other partners that is a bad sign.

I think the last one is just rushing in too fast. That one is pretty self-explanatory. People that really don't know what they want out of relationships. This kind of covers people new to polyamory too but that is not to say that polyam veterans should never date newbies, just keep in mind the extra burden it might bring. All of these naive or wishy-washy people can cause a lot of extra trouble or stress in more complicated polyamorous relationship. While this one is less of a dealbreaker than the others, it should be accounted for as it is very common.

#polyamzeal answers #anon ask #red flags #dating red flags

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nikki-pondtheauthor · 7 months

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Howdy Nixxie!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

thank you @oliveofvanders @halfagone @summerssixecho for the tag (sorry it took a while for me to finally answer this reply)

Ngl, most of my fav fics that I've written are the ones that I haven't published yet. But I'll go with the current WIPs posted on ao3 :)

House of Memories (dpxdc, Dick/Danny)

This fic comes to my mind first. I think one of the reasons why I have a soft spot for this one, in particular, is because this is the first fic that I felt I truly succeeded in writing angst. My first MCD fic as well. And I remember I've always wanted to write AU Soulmates for so long and this was the result. Plus I love Dick and wanted to give him more attention. Bonus is that I haven't seen many dpxdc fics where it is set to Dick is Robin.

Legacy (dpxdc, Danny & Jason. Biodad!Jason)

I love Jason. And I also love the thought of exploring Father-Son relationship between Jason and Danny (I'm used to reading deaged Danny, but there's something cathartic writing when it's Danny as a teenager while Jason, in his mid30s, exasperated at his son. That's the dynamic I want to explore) No joke that I immensely enjoy writing about Jason feeling guilty of not being there for Danny (and not knowing he existed). Last I checked, the draft for the next chapter of Legacy is around 4k words (I just havent gotten around editing it). Plus it's set where Jason is Batman, a trope that is not much explored in the dpxdc.

Two of a Kind (dpxdc, Jason & Danny, Halfa!Jason)

I will always be grateful to Kaida for bringing this idea to life of Jason being the second Halfa. I love the idea of Danny having a trusted adult he can come to this time. There's so many I want to gush about this, especially Jason's complicated issues with Vlad. You'll find Jason in this fic interesting because he has different priorities while feeling guilty at the same time. Plus we get some flashbacks (*nods to Red Hood: Lost Days*). Plus I also ADORE where this fic is set to Post-Infinite Crisis.

Dynasty | Loving You Was Like Dancing without Music (ATLA, Sokka/Zukko)

I remember the intense research I did for this fic. I have a separate word doc of writing the history and Fire Nation "legal documents". Even got 3 docs of flashbacks for Sokha, Mai, and Zuko (overall wc: 5k). And the fic is inspired from my fav kdrama show at all times so that's one of the reasons why I enjoy writing this fic.

Danny the Intern (dpxdc, GEN)

Ngl, I debated back and forth with this one because I have mixed feelings about this fic nowadays, but I can never forget the intense planning and outline for this fic and the 2 months I spent writing the buffer chapters just so I could be ahead of this fic. Part of why I enjoy writing this fic is that it's a Case fic. A mystery going on that I'm excited to eventually reveal, which I've been keeping my mouth shut for 11 months now. Currently, ch 6-11 have an overall 13k words. If it goes according to plan, Danny the Intern fic will be updated either this halloween or next month (for the 1 yr anniversary of DtI)

#q&a questions #dpxdc #writing

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presidenthades · 9 months

Text

I am doing very minor revisions of Daemon’s Handbook (mostly formatting and continuity errors), and I wanted to do some behind-the-scenes commentary before too much time passes and I forget my original thoughts. Here’s Chapter 2!

(Note that these commentaries aren’t canon to the verse until/unless the author writes them into the series. I might change my mind on a few points later, but these are the thoughts I had while writing.)

Those gold dancing slippers with pink roses and sunbursts? Aegon 100% bought those for Jace (in Sunfyre’s colors of course), and that’s why she freaks out about them in Chapter 3.

Helaena has FRIENDS in this verse! Because she gets to grow up with three kinswoman close in age to her! Yay! I imagine her spending a lot of time with Jace, Luce, and Joff while they’re all living at the Red Keep.

That black and green three-pointed star is supposed to be some kind of reference to the three main couples of this series. Please don’t ask for details because I don’t have any 🙈

Rhaena and Baela’s crushes on Helaena and Jace, respectively, have begun sprouting in this chapter. They are very embarrassed by their dad acting like a weirdo in front of their crushes.

Daemon has a mental diatribe about Aegon’s dissolute ways, but in actuality Daemon would probably enjoy hanging out with someone who can keep up with him in Flea Bottom. Alas.

Neither book nor show canon says anything about Aegon or Aemond squiring, but I think healthy young princes would be expected to squire, like Daeron. I’m thinking Aegon strongly disliked the idea of having to squire (which involves a lot of acts of service) so maybe he a) threw a fit or b) used some weaponized incompetence until people gave up. 😆 But show!Aemond would like the idea of becoming a chivalrous knight, and Criston seems like a good option to squire for, considering Criston’s proximity to Alicent.

In this verse, Rhaenyra chooses to move her family to Dragonstone for different reasons than canon (where she felt pushed out by the Hightowers). Here, she’s mostly concerned about Jace and Aegon. I’ll delve into more detailed commentary later for Chapter 6, but basically, the kids have hit puberty and Jace and Aegon have already been caught sneaking around to kiss and hold hands. You can’t really keep them apart if they’re living in the same castle, so Rhaenyra’s solution is to relocate her daughters. Rhaenyra still plans to commute to court as needed (like in Chapter 4), but it’s not the most politically expedient move even if she’s decided it’s best for personal reasons.

We get our first glimpse of what the Jace/Aegon relationship is like. Jace spends a good amount of time trying to make Aegon act nicer (especially toward Aemond; no Pink Dread in this verse). She tends to use the carrot instead of the stick, which is Aegon’s preferred learning method, so Jace is more successful than Alicent who does it the other way.

Daemon doesn’t believe in anything he can’t see with his own eyes so he’s not superstitious, BUT Joff makes him question a lot of things. 😆 He figures out real fast that regardless of whether she’s actually witchy, it’s best to stay on her good side. (Otto also knows something is up with that girl lol)

I’m definitely exploring Joff’s dynamic with Laenor in a future installment in this verse. For now, let’s just say it was complicated. As precocious as Joff is, she’s only 6 and she doesn’t actually know everything.

“Window closes, heart opens, door opens, heart closes.” Helaena’s prophecy is about Aemond’s eye and the Luce/Aemond relationship, though I originally planned for it to play out differently (more to come in Chapter 4 commentary). As the fic currently stands, the prophecy breaks down like this: window closes = Aemond loses his eye. Heart opens = Luce opening up to Aemond again. Door opens = the rookery door when Daemon messes with the letters. Heart closes = Luce and Aemond’s three year estrangement.

#my writing #hotd #house of the dragon #meta #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon fanfic #daemon’s handbook

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yutaleks · 1 month

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Other incest tropes

So I think I’ve touched on this before in this ask and this ask.. like what’s the appeal of the incest trope and each subset of incest trope.

I think to answer specifically why siblings is more palatable than other subsets of incest trope, you probably have to think about what goes into each one. A lot of the incest fics you read are typically short pwp without much context for why this is happening, aside from close proximity/mutual attraction. If you took away the verbiage of “brother/sister” or “niichan/oneesan” etc the fic would read just like any other roomates fic or best friends fic. Like I said it’s easily digestible. Even if you don’t like incest trope, you could probably read the fic, replace the word brother/sister with roommate or friend, and more or less nothing would change. It’s usually not done with nuance. In cases where there is more to the story, there’s usually some sort of trauma happening to either character. And in the positions of siblings, usually the trauma/response do not feature a power dynamic. For example, if you both have abusive parents, then you confide in each other. Gender dynamics aside, you both share the abusive experience. Or, if one person is going thru a traumatic event, the other sibling comes from a place of equity (you were both born by the same parents into the same circumstances). It’s like there’s another one of you around to soothe and comfort you. Aside from gender/age difference (ie older brother vs younger brother), you are relatively equal in this way to your brother. This also makes the romance between you relatively palatable compared to parent/guardian and child.

I think I touched on this in the previous ask I linked. But other types of incest like parent/child or another older relative, that equity I just talked about doesn’t exist. There’s inherent power dynamics which makes people generally uncomfortable (think about how people are uncomfortable with teacher/student or boss/employee, etc.). Not only is it immoral because it’s incest, but the older party is also morally failing you. They have a responsibility to be the adult in this situation, and they are doing something grimy and gross by betraying that sense of responsibility/trust. Like if you were raised by your parent and then when you’re an adult they engage in sex with you, that’s a betrayal of your established relationship and them being your caregiver. Did they raise you just to groom you and have sex with you? Did they feel attracted to you since childhood? It’s more than just a sibling, where you have been close in age and did not have that level of responsibility to each other. (Unless they raised you, which complicates the relationship). There’s just more levels of moral failings when a guardian is the one engaging in this behavior, and I’m sure that turns people off. I also touched upon this before, but most people have either very good or very bad relationships with the adults in their lives and do not want to imagine this scenario knowing their experiences.

And writing a fic where it’s your biological parent/guardian x reader is not easily to do as pwp; it requires some explanations for why it’s happening, and typically those kind of situations make people uncomfortable. There’s no way your parents would have raised you from a baby and then as an adult suddenly feel an attraction to you without something very critically wrong happening. And many people don’t want to read that.

Easily disgestible incest scenarios are usually step-relatives who didn’t grow up with you, or estranged relatives who meet you as an adult. Those kind of scenarios are easy to explain, and do not typically cause a guttural reaction in people because they can very easily understand a strangers to lovers scenario. Think of it as just strangers to lovers with a sort of uncomfy title attached. People can handle “sort of uncomfy”. There’s no trauma there. Nothing morally wrong happening besides overlooking a technical title. It’s easy to digest and easy to overlook.

Anyway. I think it’s the power dynamics and age gap that turns people off of other types of incest.

#ϟ asking aleksandria #cw.incest

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acacia-may · 2 months

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Acacia~! 💖

If it’s alright, I have two ships to ask about… 😅

Could you share your thoughts on Finral x Finesse and Levy x Gajeel, please?

Hi Erika! It is always so lovely to hear from you. I hope you are doing fantastically and finding lots of time to write and enjoy your favorite things! 💖 Thank you so much for the ask. Of course you can ask about more than one pairing. ^^

Finral x Finesse

Finral x Finesse does make sense and compels me to an extent (though I'll admit other pairings for both of them compel me more personally 😅). It's a very sweet ship, and I can see how they would be well suited for each other since they are both very kind, generous, and selfless people. I love the idea of them each getting to be in a relationship with someone who is equally as big-hearted as they are, and I can imagine them being extremely happy together even if the circumstances in which they would be getting together aren't the best. As I've been pretty vocal about, I have extremely strong and very negative opinions about the idea of Finral returning to House Vaude in order to marry her and that kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth with regards to this pairing which I otherwise like and enjoy based on their interactions and dynamic alone.

I just really, really wish this ship wasn't so tangled up in the House Vaude succession drama (plus does she have to be engaged to his brother? Why is that necessary??). It's just so much more complicated than it needs to be and often times very messy and not handled as a well as it should be especially when it's tied to such heavy, life-altering decisions like Finral returning to his abusive home (i.e. it's often played for melodrama and extremely unfunny laughs. It was also introduced really late and don't even get me started about the whole Langris thing...). It's these outside circumstances that really make it hard for me to go all in for a pairing I probably would have enjoyed a lot more under different (better) circumstances, but I do like them and understand people who really ship them and don't mind the handling of the pairing in the canon. It's just hard for me to look past that so I have complicated feelings about it.

Gajeel x Levy

Gah I freaking adore this ship! It's my favorite pairing in all of Fairy Tail no question at all. Their relationship arc was incredibly compelling and was one of my favorite plotlines in the entire series. I went in knowing that they were a canon ship but not really knowing anything about them. Needless to say, I was a little perplexed in the beginning seeing as they had that whole enemies to lovers thing going on, but it was really interesting to get to see how their relationship developed over time and I'll admit I got super invested.

I'm not always the biggest fan of enemies to lovers, but I think Gajeel x Levy is a really great example of how good that trope can be. I love that they found forgiveness and understanding then built this friendship with each other based on mutual respect. Gajeel knew he had to prove to Levy that he was sorry and that he had changed, and he showed this with his actions, knowing that it wasn't enough for him to just say he was sorry and that things were different. I also loved that his character arc, while inspired by Levy and (eventually) his love for her, was also independent of her and was something that Gajeel wanted for himself. He wanted to better himself and to become a man who was worthy of her regardless of whether Levy ever returned his affections, and I found that incredibly refreshing, compelling, and wholesome. I was really rooting for him throughout his entire arc, and the selflessness and devotion he shows not just towards Levy but towards his other friends as well by the end of the series is really moving. I was honestly a little misty-eyed during his incredibly heartfelt and vulnerable confession.

By believing in him and choosing to see the best in him, Levy inspired Gajeel to see himself as something more, something better than he ever believed he could be, and I love that he inspires and builds her up too (like when he helped her during the Tenrou Island arc). They really do have this great dynamic. I adore their banter and the way they balance each other and help each other explore different points of views and ways of seeing the world.

I could ramble about this pairing forever, but yes, I think they make a lot of sense and I ship them so, so much. They're absolutely compelling to me, but I can understand how some people might not be a fan of this ship given its beginnings and the inexcusable actions of Gajeel during the Phantom Lord arc. For me though, I think the series did a very good job of making a compelling slow burn for them and showing that Gajeel really had changed and had become someone worthy of Levy and her love. I am personally very glad they got their happy ending. Thank you so much for asking about them! 💕

#finral x finesse #finesse x finral #gajeel x levy #levy x gajeel #gah i love gajevy sm #acacia's ramblings #answered asks #ship ask games #erika 💙#thanks for the ask

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