#i just wanted to make an actual blog post for the first time literally ever

[gayestpiano]

thoughts on self improvement

a couple of weeks ago, my friend got a message from a guy who had ghosted her a full year ago. he apologized and said that he had needed time to work on himself. they started hanging out again and the crazy thing is she told me that he did genuinely seem better: he was more confident, more self-assured, had gotten into his hobbies, etc.

this was kind of an insane thing to hear because he had done what i’ve been wanting to do for years: actually bettered himself. this sent me on a string of revelations about myself and i think i’m on a serious road to self-improvement like he was.

i sussed these things out in therapy and here’s what i realized: everything i do is a performance. i most obviously perform when i post [redacted], but i also performed on my normal twitter account, trying to be cool and cultured and posting things i thought my followers would like. i perform when i’m at the grocery store. i perform when i go to bars (however rarely that might be). i perform when i’m hanging out with friends. i’m the funny one so i was unconsciously always thinking of something funny to say to make people laugh but also to get them to validate me. i even perform in therapy.

my therapist asked me who the performance is for and the answer is sort of complicated: it’s for both others and for myself. i want others to perceive me in a certain way so i perform that for them. but when they laugh at my jokes or say nice things to me, that validates me in return so ultimately it comes back to me.

the thing is, though, that it’s sort of an empty validation. it’s not really a validation of me, it’s a validation of the performance. instead of being a person, i was craving applause after a play. i didn’t want people to like me, i wanted them to like the performance i was putting on. (i deactivated my twitter that night because not only was it a cesspool but i didn’t even enjoy what i was supposed to be enjoying.)

i’ve always tried to be an ideal version of myself to please whoever happens to be in my life. dressing how my friends told me was acceptable, tailoring my interests to match those of my peers, trying to get good grades to make my parents proud of me (notice how these aren’t necessarily bad things to want. this makes it harder to realize that i’m acting in others’ interests). i’ve noticed that i’ve basically never done anything purely for myself. it’s always in service of others or influenced by others. i’ve lost sight of who i actually am.

this is the scary part. i don’t really know who i am. i have to strip everything away and build myself from the ground up without the pressures of other people.

i’ve had some pretty bad body dysmorphia in my life and i’ve never really been happy with my body. i’ve wanted to be slim and toned for years. but now i’m starting to think about why i want that. it’s what i find attractive but how much of that is influenced by society and (more recently) gay culture?

this also ties in to my issues with executive dysfunction and lack of motivation. when there’s nobody around me to tell me what to do or, importantly, expect me to do things, i lose all motivation and interest.

i’m always afraid of giving myself credit for things because i don’t want people to think i’m conceited. i recently wrote down things i like about myself and it was genuinely hard to acknowledge my strengths as a person without a hint of irony.

this is why genuine self-improvement is so difficult. i’ve always heard people “working on themselves” without ever really acknowledging what that means. it’s difficult to consider what i thought were innate thought patterns and figure out if i’ve been influenced to think that way. to figure out what i actually want and then take steps to achieve that. to rethink what makes me “me.”

my therapist and i talked about re-framing my life to put me at the center rather than other people. doing things because i want to and not because i think others want me to. finally stopping the performance. this will be hard work but i’m up for the challenge.

#you absolutely do not have to read all of this #i just wanted to make an actual blog post for the first time literally ever

[reading-comp-posting]

Have you ever considered using AI tools to assist with writing your responses?

Well no, because I'm doing this blog for fun. I'm enjoying writing out reading comprehension questions for posts, so why would I automate that away?

But let's say that I saw myself as some sort of arbitor of reading comprehension who needs to post as much as possible to enlighten the lowly tumblr masses. Let's say that I'm interested in upping my output of questions by any means necessary.

I opened up chatgpt and input a certain request, which would hopefully make it write questions about the last post I responded to:

Write reading comprehension questions about a Tumblr post, written by a user named "echoeyee," that reads as folows: "my take on shipping aromantic characters is that if you're aro you get to do whatever you want and if you're not you have to write me a three page essay 12 pt font times new roman double spaced explaining in detail why you believe entering a romantic relationship would be an interesting and worthwhile storyline for the character and how you believe their aromanticism would affect the way they experience said relationship"

And it certainly did write a lot of questions about it. Let's go through them, one by one.

1. What is the primary stance expressed by the Tumblr user "echoeyee" regarding shipping aromantic characters?

This one is good. If you look at the set I wrote, my first one is basically the same, just with different words and a less formal tone.

2. According to the post, what conditions must non-aromantic individuals fulfill if they wish to advocate for romantic storylines involving aromantic characters?

Again, this one is good. It's basically my 3rd question but, yet again, more formal.

3. Describe the format and specifications outined for the essay mentioned in the post.

This is the part where the questions get bad. The exact details of the essay are irrelevant, other than the fact that they imply a formal, academic setting.

4. In your own words, explain the user's perspective on the autonomy of aromantic individuals in contrast to non-aromantic individuals when it comes to shipping characters.

This question seems to genuinely be a product of chatgpt pissing on the poor. The purpose of the post (and specifically the essay within) is to ask people who ship aromantic characters without being aromantic themself to consider said character's aromanticism instead of erasing it.

Meanwhile, chatgpt seems to think that the OP thinks that people who aren't aromantic should be forced by law or something to write an essay if they want to ship an aromantic character.

5. How does the Tumblr post reflect the user's views on representation and storytelling in relation to aromantic characters?

I think that this one is a bit too speculative, but it does actually relate to the OP's intended takeaway.

6. Discuss the potential implications of the requirements set forth in the post for writers and creators in the realm of fiction and fanworks.

This one is just a bit confusing. Chatgpt seems to be going off the assumption that OP is issuing a decree as the emperor of the world.

7. Reflect on whether you agree or disagree with the sentiments expressed in the post and provide reasons to support your viewpoint.

This could have been a "discuss with a mutual" question, and I actually did initially write a question like this one, but I ended up removing it.

Aromantiscism is already controversial enough and I fear that a discussion of whether OP's take on shipping aromantic characters is valid could quickly devolve into discussion on whether aromanticism itself is valid.

8. How might the user's approach impact discussions and representations of aromanticism in media and popular culture?

Yet again, chatgpt is taking the essay thing way too literally. Yes, forcing every single writer who isn't aromantic but wants to ship an aromantic character to write an essay about it would most likely lead to a decrease in people erasing their identities, but the essay isn't the point.

9. Consider the broader societal and cultural context in which this post is situated. How might prevailing attitudes towards romantic relationships influence reactions to the user's perspective?

Obviously historical context is important to keep in mind when you're reading/listening to/watching/whatever a text, but this question has almost nothing to do with reading comprehension. You need to understand the post to imagine how people would react, sure, but understanding how people would react to the post doesn't help you understand this post very much.

10. What insights can be gleaned from this post regarding the importance of diverse and inclusive storytelling in media and creative works?

This could be a discuss with a mutual question. The issue is that it's a bit to broad of a topic.

#not reading comprehension questions #ask #self post

[thebibliosphere]

I saw your post about ingram, and out of curiosity, is there some advantage to going through the whole self-publishing thing with retailers when you're just starting out? like I mean the way that fandom zines work is that they don't even bother going through ingram or amazon or whatever. they just set up a social media site (usually twitter) to gain followers, open preorders (usually 1-2 months in length) to generate the costs of printing upfront, and then sell anywhere from a few dozen to several hundred copies of their books (usually artbooks, but anthologies exist too). I've seen some zines generate over a thousand orders. they're kind of like pop-up shops, except for books. maybe the sales numbers aren't so impressive to a real author, but the profit generated is typically waaaay more than the $75+ apparently needed for Ingram Spark, so I still feel like new authors could benefit from this method too, especially if they just need some start-up cash to eventually move to ingram if they want to for subsequent runs of their book. I think authors would also have to set aside some of the pre-order money to buy an ISBN number to have printed on their book, and I'm not really sure what other differences there are, but I just wanted to ask about it in case there's some huge disadvantage I'm missing!

So, popup zines work well for some people, and I know some authors who kickstart their work successfully. But for a lot, it's just not feasible as a long-term stratedy. Or even as a means to get off the ground.

Fanzines succeed primarily because an existing fanbase is willing and ready to throw money at something they love. They’ve got a favorite writer or artist they want to support. Supporting all the others is just a happy by-product. They also take a HUGE amount of short-term but intense planning that just doesn’t always jive with how some of us work.

I, for one, would never offer to organize a fanzine. I’ll take part in them as a creator, but I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than subject myself to wrangling that many people and dealing with the legal logistics.

When it comes to authors doing anthologies, it'svery much the same. The success of the funding often hinges on having other big-name authors involved whose existing fans will prop up the project. Or having a huge marketing budget.

Most self-pub authors have zero marketing budget. I’m one of them, and I’m under no illusions that my work would not be as popular and self-sustaining as it is if I didn’t have a large Tumblr blog.

When I thank Tumblr in my forewards, I am utterly sincere. Tumblr brought fandom levels of enthusiasm to an unknown work and broke the Amazon algorithm so hard, that Amazon thought I was bot sniping my way to multiple #1 spots and froze my sales rankings.

That’s not the norm. And while I could probably kickstart my own work as an indie creator, that’s because I’ve put literal decades into building up a readership. I’ve been doing this since I was 16 and realized people thought I was funny. I didn’t know what to do with it or if I’d ever actually write anything, but it meant the groundwork was already there (thank you, past-me). I basically fell upward into my success by virtue of never being able to shut the fuck up and wanting to make people laugh. Clown instincts too strong.

New or first-time authors trying to sell their work without that will find it infinitely harder.

All of that aside, even if an unknown author somehow gets lucky and manages to fund their work, there’s still the question of shipping and distribution logistics. Are you shipping everything yourself? Better hope you’re able-bodied and have the time for it. (for reference, it took me months to ship out 300 patreon hardbacks because of my disabilites. It damaged my back and hands. I couldn’t type for several weeks after I was done.)

Are you going to sell primarily at conventions? Better hope you’re able-bodied, have the time and don’t have cripling anxiety about being in large groups...

Also, will selling a dozen to a few thousand copies in one burst be sustainable in the long run as a career? Not for me. Doing things via Ingram and Amazon means I earn a steady trickle of sales for the rest of my life provided the platforms remain and so long as I keep working and can generate interest in the series, not just when I have funds to pay for physical copies to sell. The one-time (in theory) cost of $75 to distribute through Ingram gets paid off pretty quick that way. And it doesn't require the same logistics as doing the popup/crowdfund.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you are capable of but also the type of work you’re doing. If you’ve got an extended network of fellow creatives who will back you or you’ve got a large following elsewhere, doing it like a popup might work for you.

If you’re an exhausted burnout who can’t fathom the short but intense amount of organization that sort of thing requires, not to mention doing it over and over and over... Ehhhhh. No thank you.

[blackphillipdarling]

Signs to tell if the person in your inbox, asking you to reblog a post with a link asking people to donate money for their sick pet or kid, is a scam

Before we start, a disclaimer that this is NOT a solid confirmation that this person must be a scammer. The intention of this is for you to be wary and always check before donating or rebloging this type of post.

Without further ado and from firsthand experience, here are the red flags:

The person in your inbox asking you to reblog a post with their donation link will always ask you NOT to publish the ask they sent you (but to only reblog their post), and their reasoning would always be something along the line of “I don’t want people to think I pressured you into doing it🥺”

But if you go to the person’s profile with their post asking for donation, 100% of the time, you’ll find that the account has only just been created days ago. — How can you tell this? Easy. You can literally scroll down to the first ever post of their blog in less than 10 seconds.

The thing these scammers have in common is that they will create a new blog and they WILL reblog some general posts, such as fandom posts, to make their blogs look legit. They will have legit profile pictures so they don’t look like bots. But it will always be a newly created blog with several reblogs (mostly about fandoms, because they know rebloging fandom posts will make them look more legit than if they were to reblog some suggestive photos of some women, since the latter will make them look like p0rn bots), and the only original post they made is that post asking for donation.

Move on to the information they provided about their sick pet or kid. They will provide thorough and detailed information to make it look legit. But the thing is that they could just take that from google or steal that information from someone who actually needed the donation. There is never a way to tell if your money will go directly to help save the pet or the kid. My advice is to google the patient’s name and see how old the case is, if the case of this patient with this name and this information has been used to ask for donation by other people before, etc.

The photo of the patient they gave can also help you determine if it’s legit. Save that photo and then use google image search to see if it’s an original photo or if it’s a stolen one that has been used before.

Bonus: the thing these scammers can’t do is provide updates about how the patient’s doing. So it’s only just one post with the link asking you for your money. If it is legit, you should be able to see consistent updates of how this patient is doing or if there’s any change, etc. (I’m not saying it’s a requirement for those whose loved one is in critical care to post updates on social media all the time, I’m simply pointing out that scammers tend to fail to provide any update because they can’t.)

I’ll always encourage donating and helping spread the posts of those who actually are in need, though it’s just so unfortunate that, while there are people who are genuinely struggling, there are a lot of scammers out there looking for an opportunity to take advantage of people’s kindness and using sick pet or kid as a way to scam people and making it more difficult for people who really need help to be taken seriously.

Last but not least, fuck those scammers. Stay safe y’all.

#important #psa #important psa #b00st #signal b00st #signal boost #useful information #useful tips #life tips #healthcare #mental health #mental health awareness #self care #self love #tumblr #mental health care #positivity #life lessons #life coaching #life hacks

[ken-dom]

NSFW Ken Headcanons

Warnings/content: It’s pure smut, Ken definitely has a penis in this, hand job, oral, praise kink, begging, aftercare, gn!reader

I originally posted this to my main blog but I'm re-posting all my work here to have everything in one place due to an unresolved tagging issue on my main

Sometimes cries out a strangled ‘Sublime!’ when he cums

Speaking of cum, it’s glittery ✨

Usually announces when he’s close because he’s so excited about it

Would be happy to dry hump as long as it’s with you, but give him a handjob and it changes his life forever

Takes him a few times to get over how good it feels when you bring him off to begin with, but after he’s calmed down a bit he’s laser focussed on your pleasure

Learns your body really quickly

Literally cannot keep his hands off you once he’s had a taste and he wants you to touch him all the time, too

The first time you suck him off he’s pretty sure he died of pleasure and came back to life while you were kissing him after

Total horn dog once you open up his eyes to all the different ways you can make him feel good

When you first got together he would cum in his pants just from making out if you were pressed against him just right

On that note, he really likes it when you press your thigh between his legs while you make out

Such a needy, whiny mess

Every moan and gasp he elicits from you is the sweetest praise he’s a ever heard, so he memorises every little touch and every reaction they get

He is SO loud, and at the slightest touch. You have to kiss him to swallow his moans if you’re trying to be quiet, or, if he’s feeling ✨kinky✨ he’ll let you put a hand over his mouth

Huge kink for begging, he discovers. You moan out a, ‘Please!’ one time and that’s it, he’s obsessed

Really good with his hands. Like. It’s unreal how skilled those elegant fingers are

His gaze is so intense when you’re making out and pull away to catch your breath or tell him what you want to do to him

Likes to see your face when you cum. And if you make eye contact too, he’s done for

Loves you to tangle your fingers in his hair when he goes down on you

Feels so safe when he’s with you and it’s slow and intimate and he can bury his beautiful face against your neck, gasping against your skin

Whimpers so needily when you praise him. During or after

Praise him too much too soon and he won’t last

But it doesn’t matter because he’s eager, and he will happily start all over again and take his time on you while he regains his strength

Doesn’t actually take him long at all to get hard again so you’re not left waiting if you want him to fuck you

Doesn’t matter how many times you get together, he cheeks always flush when you start kissing him

If you mess his hair up he tries to keep it that way so he can show off to the other Kens’

Always really excited to try new things with you, surprising you with ideas for positions he’d like to try, and later new sex toys when he discovers them

Almost feints when you explain what 69ing is

The BIGGEST cuddler after sex

And sometimes takes the opportunity to show off his muscular arms with a cheeky smirk

Melts when you squeeze his big muscles or caress his chest

His aftercare with you is brushing each others hair and putting matching pyjamas on to cuddle while he tells you how amazing he thinks you are for being turned on by him and satisfying him so thoroughly

#not s f w 💀 #ken #ken x reader #ken x you #ken smut #ken x y/n #ryan gosling x reader #ryan gosling x you #ryan gosling!ken #ryan!ken #ryan gosling #rg!ken #ryan gosling ken #ken barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #ken-dom writes #ken fic #kenergy

[caraphernellie]

wip !! here's a moodboard <3

fake happy // e.w.

ellie williams is a freak, and that's just a fact. others deemed that she is not to be trusted from the moment she was born. in a world where everything is real and raw, it's hard to lie. but ellie doesn't quite fit into the category of 'real and raw.'

everybody's moods are displayed above their heads like little emoticons - there's no fake, there's no lies, there's simply emotion. except for ellie. nobody could figure out why ellie's feelings were not displayed. she'd been seen by every doctor, every specialist, every psychiatrist, and psychologist, and none of them knew what could cause this. and so an assumption was made that she doesn't feel anything.

nobody knows how she feels at any given moment, and in a world where people are spoiled with honesty, nobody wants to believe ellie isn't dishonest. nobody wants to be played by her.

somehow surviving life up to college without ever even having a friend, ellie's accepted that she's in for a lonely life. the only person she has is joel, and well, even he can be misunderstanding at times.

and ellie's sure her professor must hate her, because he partnered her for a project with the one girl who is always happy, without fail. the girl whose mood above her head is always, always, always a yellow smiley face. ellie would even say she's jealous, that she hates you, but she can't help but feel herself smiling whenever you're around. you're like a ray of sunshine. if sunshine knew how to lie.

ok ok ok so. i feel a little bit crazy and like nobody is going to like this fic but i kind of want to write it. this is just me posting to see if anyone actually would read it 😭 not like that would motivate/demotivate me but idk. im curious paramore inspired fics first of all, the best ones. secondly, i feel like maybe years ago i read a fic with a similar premise which inspired this but it's also mainly inspired by the music video for fake happy by paramore. and also, i always write fics about reader having the 'i can fix her' mentality for ellie so this time it's ellie saying 'i can fix her' about reader. this one would be for my fellow sad/anxious girlies who love big hurt/comfort vibes. it would be an angsty ride but not without lots of comfort :D two people who are very sad falling in love and helping each other with their issues? i think yes. this fic would be very? angst and hurt/comfort and some fluff idk if there'd be smut ... anyway this was more a way for me to brainstorm for the idea (by making the moodboard and blurb) i have yet to do literally any plotting or writing for it..

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 i stand with palestine, and for that reason, i require everyone on my blog to keep themselves educated and participating in the fight for palestine's freedom. here are some links to educate yourself- 1, 2, 3. the last of us part 2 in particular is a game with zionist background. do not support neil druckmann by buying any of the games and please continue to engage in your media with critical analysis!! stay educated. !!! i urge you to participate in the global strike for palestine from february 18th - 25th !!!

#⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ rambling #ellie williams x reader #tlou2 x reader #ellie williams x fem reader #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ fanfic #fem reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x yn #wip #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #ellie x yn #petal's ideas #moodboards by petal

[thankssteveditko]

Sony's PlayStation 5 Presents Insomniac's Marvel's Spider-Man 2 (the third game in the series)

I beat the main story and have enjoyed my time with the game overall! I want to talk about spoilers and things that I liked and disliked in the story, so here's a post with some scattered thoughts.

(Hello! I haven't forgotten that this blog exists! Like I said, no update schedule, I will read more of the Lee/Ditko comics whenever I make time for it. I've actually been sitting on a mostly-complete version of this post since I beat the game in October, thinking that I'd finish the rest of the side quests so I could throw in thoughts on those. But... eh, I'll do that whenever the inevitable DLC rolls around. I just wanna get these thoughts posted.)

Spider-Cop No More

First off: they downplayed the cop shit!!! This was the first thing that really struck me about the game, and I'm stunned that they actually listened to criticism on this. I thought we'd just be stuck with it forever.

It'll never be completely gone, of course. Spider-Man is always going to leave criminals webbed up for the police to take to prison, hoping that they'll do their time and come out the other side as Productive Members of Society. That's just a thing I begrudgingly accept as part of the genre that will probably never go away. But Spider-Man is no longer repairing police surveillance networks. You're no longer beating the shit out of random drug dealers. Gangs of escaped convicts still wearing their orange jumpsuits are no longer terrorizing the streets of New York.

Instead, Peter and Miles are played more as firefighters. Sometimes very literally! They work with firefighters, they rescue people from collapsing buildings, they rush injured people to the hospital. In general there's a huge increase in the number of random onlookers present during the big action setpieces, and the Spider-Men frequently have to save them from harm. One of the major side quest lines is even literally about a cult of arsonists, and you'll routinely find burning fuel tanker trucks you have to extinguish with your webs. It's great! Love this for them.

I also generally liked the side missions in this. There's a lot of good stuff with the Spider-Men being neighborhood heroes willing to help out anyone in need, no matter the problem. Some of them can get corny, sure, but that street level stuff has always been the real heart of Spider-Man to me.

Gameplay

The gameplay's as fun as ever. That probably goes without saying. I will not be spending a thousand words explaining that swinging is fun.

In particular, I really liked the changes to the Focus mechanic. I never loved the way Miles' game made you choose between healing and doing your special attacks, but here your four specials have their own cooldowns, and the Focus meter is spent on either healing or finishers. It still offers that risk/reward element, but those vicious cycles where you can't do any real damage because you keep needing to heal aren't nearly as bad as they were before.

Personally I didn't turn off the swing assist or turn on fall damage, because the streamlined swinging never bothered me in these games, but I'm glad the options are there for people who want them.

Kraven

I liked Kraven in this! I liked the way they leaned into his Hunters being this weird death cult, and him wanting to go down in a blaze of glory against a worthy foe, to the point that he's actually disappointed anytime a foe can't kill him. It riffs on things people liked in Kraven's Last Hunt without being the exact same story. I like that Kraven's gang is renting out this manor or whatever and just being a complete terror to the wait staff. I liked the way Kraven hunting Peter's rogues' gallery clashed with Peter's belief in giving his villains second chances. I liked that they were willing to have Kraven kill off a couple of the minor villains from the first game to sell how dangerous he is. (I know some people hated this, but like, come on. We already fought the Sinister Six. They don't need to do that again.) I like the way Kraven pushed Peter to the absolute brink, turning him more and more aggressive with the Black Suit. Good stuff all around, even if the Hunter enemy types did wear out their welcome a little bit by the end.

The Black Suit arc

I think I liked the way Insomniac handled Peter's Black Suit arc overall, but there's a tradeoff here.

They REALLY lean into the body horror tentacle stuff, with Black Suit Peter basically just being a skinny Venom by the end. The sequence where you play as Mary Jane while the symbiote puppets an unconscious Peter's body around and goes on a rampage against the Hunters was REALLY great at selling how scary Peter is becoming, and it made me completely change my tune on the inclusion of the MJ stealth missions in the sequel. Having to beat an out-of-control Peter as Miles immediately after Peter beats Kraven was also really good. This is all cool!

BUT, the thing is... with the symbiote powers being so freaky from the start, it really pushes my suspension of disbelief when Peter and co. take so long to become wary of it. I guess when you've been bitten by a radioactive spider and given superpowers, and when you live in the same universe as the Avengers and the X-Men, your perception of what's "normal" is going to be pretty warped. But they buy the whole "organic exosuit created to treat Harry's illness" story WAY too easily lmao. How do the self-aware slime tentacles help with his illness, exactly?

And I'm not sure how I feel about giving Peter Anti-Venom powers in the last act. It feels like it's primarily a concession so that they can give players that branch of their skill tree back, but honestly, the designer in me thinks it would be really cool (if risky) to just permanently lock players out of Peter's most powerful skills past a certain point. Yeah, it'd definitely piss people off, but it drives home the idea that Peter's given up greater power because it's the right thing to do. It'd put you in his shoes! Instead he just gets the symbiote powers back, but it's fine because the Venom voice in his head is gone and also the slime tendrils that explode out of his body are white now, which means they're good.

I have to say it. I'm sorry. The glistening white goo... they turned Peter into the Amazing Cum-Man. I changed back to the Classic Suit after rolling the credits and forgot I still had the Anti-Venom skills equipped, so I just saw regular old Spider-Man exploding his white goo everywhere. Terrible.

Assuming Peter is just stepping into more of a supporting role to Miles and not fully retiring after the events of this game, I really hope the Anti-Venom stuff is gone. I get that he needed it to counter Venom, but that's not what I want for Peter Parker.

Miles

Miles is good in this, and I really like his arc where he struggles with whether or not he should avenge his dad by killing Martin Li. I like how all that plays out. Unfortunately, they don't quite stick the landing when it comes to making him and Peter feel like equals in terms of narrative focus. His arc is definitely the B-plot to Peter's for the middle chunk of the story, which I guess was kind of inevitable since they decided to do the Black Suit arc. But Miles does at least get a lot of moments to shine, and by the end he's very much taking the lead as the main Spider-Man.

Becoming the main Spider-Man also gets Miles a new, wholly original suit that ended up being super controversial, and honestly... I kinda like it? Or at least I like what it's going for, even if the actual design could still use some work. It's something totally unique for Miles, and I like spandex/streetwear combo suits like what the Spider-Verse movies have popularized. But showing his hair is really pushing the limits of his secret identity. He hangs around Brooklyn Visions WAY too much for his classmates to not recognize his voice and haircut. And I understand why people would be wary about it becoming his "canon" look moving forward. But I think it's got potential.

On the subject of Miles, though, I will say that while I liked Miles' side missions, it feels like he's often saddled with the game's broad, kinda touristy, kinda token attempts at Showcasing The Diversity Of New York, in a way that Peter isn't.

I like that Miles has a deaf graffiti artist girlfriend that he and Ganke sign with, and I like that there's a series of side missions that explore some local jazz history, and I like that there's a mission where Miles helps a gay classmate ask his crush to prom. I like all these things! I like Spider-Man being involved with his community, and that said community includes such a wide variety of people! I like that this game slows down to savor these types of moments instead of just being all action all the time! But when I step back, I notice some patterns.

Hailey doesn't have a big role in the main plot, especially when compared to MJ, but Miles gets a side mission where you briefly play as her with muffled audio to teach you what being deaf is like. There are no major queer characters in the story - unless you count Felicia showing up for exactly one mission to mention she has an unseen, unnamed girlfriend in Paris now - but you get a side mission where Miles helps out a gay couple at his school, who then never come up again. To put it very uncharitably, they can feel like Very Special Episode missions. It's like the devs going: we're going to give Miles a Gay Mission, and an Impaired Hearing Mission, and a Cultural History Mission, so that we can say we touched on these things, but we're gonna make them all optional and keep them far away from the full-blown Superhero Stuff like fighting costumed villains. Those flavors cannot mix. Meanwhile, Peter gets to have a whole elaborate subplot about teaming up with Wraith to track down fucking Cletus Kasady. There's an imbalance here, and I think it's part of the reason why Peter still feels like the "main" Spider-Man for so much of the story.

I think this was all written with admirable intentions, but as others have pointed out, you can kinda tell that this game was mainly written by some white guys based in California. These attempts at depicting various marginalized groups can feel kind of detached in the same way that Insomniac's map of New York doesn't quite line up with the real thing. But I dunno. I'm not really the one to dig deep into some of this stuff as a white woman from Florida. I would be curious to read others' takes on this.

Maybe I'm just being overly cynical about the writers' well-meaning but corny and kinda out of touch liberal politics because of the podcasts.

The podcasters

I wish Jameson was in this more! They psyched us out by giving him a full character model for, like, two scenes. I like him being MJ's boss, but I wish we saw inside the Daily Bugle offices to get more Jameson.

At least his podcasts are better than the ones in the Miles game, though. Him completely trusting in Roxxon was just too much for me. Here he condemns Oscorp for the symbiote shit, and he also gets some moments where he takes the ongoing crises seriously and isn't just ranting about the Spider-Men. He isn't just a conspiracy theorist crackpot here. Shit like his "fuck Spider-Man, we have a justice system for a reason" speech makes him feel more like a human being with a point of view, rather than just a caricature. Definitely an improvement.

Unfortunately, I still find The Danikast grating. I'm sorry, Ashly Burch. It's not your fault. The quirky heckin' wholesome millennial podcaster lady who catches you up on current events and then reminds you to drink 64 ounces of water a day in the same breath is just too much for me. At least she doesn't have any lines as bad as her throwing in a "damn" and then going (direct quote here) "That's right - no censoring! That's how REAL I'm being right now!" like in Miles' game. Instead they give her this, like, almost psychic insight into the main plot to try and make her the angel on Peter's shoulder. The second Peter gets the symbiote she's like "Wow, y'all. Have you seen Spider-Man's new black suit? Something's different about him. He's been giving me such bad vibes lately. #NotMySpiderMan" Also she's supposed to be this, like, underdog independent podcaster who started her show on a whim and has become the voice of the people... but she's got billboards plastered all over the fucking city. Which makes her feel like an industry plant lmao

Again, there's a detachment with the writing. This is, like, some middle aged white liberal game dev guys' idea of what a modern leftist teenager would think is a Cool Activism Podcast. Unfortunately, because Insomniac thinks Danika's a hero, Mary Jane's triumphant ending is that she quits her job at the Bugle to become a podcaster, too, delivering a thinly veiled monologue about the pandemic to kick off her new podcast literally titled "The New Normal." She's going to save the world with podcasting, because that's the highest form of activism, I guess.

Venom

So! Venom! Venom was... okay.

Surprising no one, Harry Osborn is Venom. Harry's okay both as himself and as Venom, but I'm not sure his arc is a smooth one. He starts out as Peter's comically perfect best friend who returns to reminisce about the good ol' days and hand him his dream job on a silver platter, and then later he becomes a little ball of rage over the fact that Peter gets his symbiote and can't/won't give it back. I'm not sure that pivot is handled the most convincingly. You kind of have to write it off as the symbiote messing with their heads, I guess.

When he actually becomes Venom, I'm... mixed on the execution. On the one hand, the cool factor is absolutely there. He's a very cool big monster, and Tony Todd is great in the role. But he also wants to take over the world and make everyone a symbiote, and aside from any lingering resentment towards Peter, that's really all there is to him. It makes for a good video game to have a bunch of symbiote enemies and creepy symbiote nests and symbiote tentacles climbing up the sides of buildings in the last act... but is that really what I want out of Venom? Probably not. But he sure does look cool as a big monster guy to fight, and I was happy he was briefly playable.

Suits

Part of me feels like there's something lacking about the suit selection here, but almost every suit I liked in the previous games is back, and also I'm the type of person to give Peter the Classic Suit the second I unlock it and use that for most of the game. So does it really matter for me?

Peter's selection feels dominated by the various live action movie suits, but I get that those are going to be some of the suits people want to wear the most. I wish he had the Peter B. Parker skin to go with Miles' Spider-Verse alts, though. No idea why it's missing. Really I think I mainly just want more of the Spider-Verse designs.

Also I've complained about how most of the original suits designed for these games make Peter and Miles look like they were bitten by radioactive Alienware products, but I can just, you know. Wear other suits.

Misc thoughts

Everyone's already made this joke, but it's extremely funny that the Avengers didn't help with the symbiote invasion. Took one look at that and decided it wasn't their problem

On the subject of other superheroes, I do wish these games would acknowledge the Fantastic Four more. Peter's close relationship with that team feels woefully underutilized in his various adaptations

I like the trope of a boss fight that's a heightened version of a personal conflict between two people who are close, where throughout the fight the boss is airing out their grievances while the hero tries to get through to them emotionally. That especially works for Spider-Man! But WOW has Insomniac played that card a lot of times by the end of Spider-Man 2 lol

They're teasing the addition of Silk, I guess? I'm gonna be honest, I don't know shit about Silk, but I guess it was inevitable that they'd give us some form of Spider-Woman at some point. Gotta work all those costumes in somehow, and they're not brave enough to let one of the boys cosplay as Spider-Gwen.

They WERE, however, brave enough to let Harry say he loves Peter. I liked that little moment. They presumably meant it platonically, but clearly ol' Yaoi Lowenthal knows what's up

Post-leak addendum

So, obviously, by the time I got around to finishing this post the big Insomniac leak happened. I wish the game industry wasn't so secretive that it took a massive, dangerous data breach just to get our hands on some very basic info that would be public knowledge if Insomniac was a film studio, but here we are.

We now know that Insomniac spent somewhere around $315 million making Spider-Man 2 - triple what the first Spider-Man game cost to make. A quote about this from a leaked presentation has been stuck in my head ever since I first saw it on Twitter. “Is 3x the investment in [Spider-Man 2] evident to anyone who plays the game?”

To be honest, I'm not sure it is.

I liked Spider-Man 2, but I'd probably say that overall I liked it about as much as the first game. It's certainly a somewhat bigger game, with marginally more realistic looking graphics thanks to the power of the PS5. But I think I could do without ray tracing and more realistic hair rendering and whatnot if it meant that these games didn't take like five years and hundreds of millions of dollars to make. I could not give less of a shit if the swinging animations were recycled between games. I'd be fine with them being shorter, too.

I like these games, but as we look at that leaked project lineup and realize that Insomniac is turning into The Marvel Game Studio, I think about how many smaller, more original games that those resources could go towards if they scaled back the Marvel stuff just a bit. How many Ape Escapes or Patapons or Gravity Rushes could get made for the budget of just one of these massive AAA tentpole games of Sony's, which are apparently barely even breaking even? How many could be made for the budget of the "smaller, cheaper" Miles Morales game, which somehow cost $156 million to make despite using an updated version of the same Manhattan map from the first game? Hell, how many smaller games could have been made with the $39 million that went into remastering the first Spider-Man game for PS5 a mere two years after launch? How many people will lose their jobs if any one of Insomniac's upcoming Marvel games underperforms - which, in this case, could mean selling "only" 5 million copies? And would hardcore PlayStation fans even accept those smaller games at this point, now that they've been trained to only appreciate mega-budget Prestige Games with cutting edge graphics and treat everything else with disdain? How much worse will this get as the graphical arms race continues?

I think I just miss Japan Studio. Fuck Sony. Uhh but anyway the Spider-Man game this post was supposed to be about was good, some writing complaints aside. 8/10

#tsd post #other media

[forgeofthenine]

Is it the holiday season, or are you just a genius cause my yearning heart is being well fed by your tiefling headcanons. I hope this ask inspires :)

I’d go feral for some good pining headcanons; what are they like in the gray space between flirting and relationship? Especially if there’s mutual understanding that this might not be the best time (i.e. there may or may not be a mindflayer invasion in progress) and so they hold off on initiating anything, but have to watch as their crush dives headlong into danger? I love imagining ill-timed interruptions punctuated by longing looks.

Alternatively, how good are our darling tiefling bachelors at dancing? Would they learn a jig or two if their SO loved dancing?

Here's a lil' something something for you about pining, Anon. I didn't decide to write a full set of dance headcanons (despite it being on my to do list right from when I started the blog) but I am going to post something similar 👀

What the bachelors are like while pining for you

Dammon

This man pines so hard

He's touch starved to hell, quite literally, but has no clue about it

Dammon was sure he was fine right up until he met you and was hit with the realisation that he wanted more

The way he shows his affection is also anything but subtle, expect to know right away

It's never the type of affection that makes you feel guilty if you don't return it or makes you feel like you feel pressured

He's very easy going and good at reading people, he slowly increases how much affection he gives you until you both find a comfortable balance

Soon you'll find all your weapons and armour is repaired or replaced to the highest quality

Dammon is overjoyed if you return the same affection, even if you both know dating is off the cards for now

Bring this man some home cooking and he'll want to marry you right then and there

It's a grey area you both find yourself in for quite some time, to the point you both often get asked if you're together

The way he blushes when people ask is absolutely adorable, even more so when he hesitates to correct them

Towards the end you both basically already live together, both slowly easing into a romantic relationship without realising it

Dammon is more than happy once the ilithids are dealt with to make things official, finally not needing to correct people anymore

Zevlor

This man is the king of pining, absolute reigning champion

He knew he was in deep right from the moment he first saw you

It's something he keeps under wraps very well, to the point that you probably won't realise for a while

He tends to sneak peaks at you when you aren't looking, or he comes up with mostly reasonable excuses to come and speak with you

If you call him out on either thing then he'll heavily deny doing any of it, despite the blush on his face giving him away

Even if there wasn't an ilithid invasion happening Zevlor would still be cautiously optimistic about ever having a relationship with you

He's wary of a potential age gap or coming across too strong and scaring you away

A part of him also reminds him that you'd likely want a suitor your own age

The best way to quell those worries is to simply return his advances with some of your own

It could be anything, so long as he thinks you're interested he'll keep up his very subtle flirting

Soon, the two of you are already regularly having meals with each other and finding ways to spend hours together

Zevlor is absolutely already thinking of the life he'll have with you after this

Rolan

Rolan is a dick at first, he honestly is so out of touch with his own feelings that he doesn't realise he's into you

He's completely oblivious to anything that isn't directly spelled out for him, including how much he actually enjoys your company

It takes Cal and Lia teasing him relentlessly before he finally comes to terms with it

Once he does it hits him like a brick to the face

And after that, it's like a switch flips

He can barely speak to you now without second-guessing himself or tripping over words

It's enough to make you wonder what's going on until the siblings start teasing you both, much to Rolans embarrassment

He's always quick to shoo them away and apologise but his feelings are already clear

You're both smart people, it's easy to know now isn't the time to start a romantic relationship, but it's harder to listen to reason when your feelings get involved

After weeks of you both tiptoeing around each other, feelings clearly returned, he finally has enough

Rolans the fastest to take action on his pining, impatient and hating the uncertainty

You'll find yourself in Ramaziths Tower and kissing the tiefling that runs it in no time

Rolan is quick to pull you into him, kissing you passionately before making you promise you'll stay safe

#bri answers #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 dammon #bg3 dammon #dammon x reader #baldurs gate 3 zevlor #bg3 zevlor #zevlor x reader #baldurs gate 3 rolan #bg3 rolan #rolan x reader

[sparklecarehospital]

been reflecting on my year a bit, and i was thinking about something. i think i know what the best thing i did for myself this year was.

making cometcare public. making the ask blog.

ive had this AU stirring in my brain since 2019, ever since i got really attached to doomi during the haunted arc. one reason i went so long without revealing pollarrydoomi as a ship to readers was because doom's crush wasn't public information until late 2021.

i had kept his crush a mystery for 3 years, but revealed it after a fun experience where people figured out who it was through guessing. i'm pretty sure i did a poll about it? asking people to guess who they thought it was, and uni won the vote, meaning everyone had already figured it out.

after pollarrydoomi was revealed and i started drawing art for it and people made fanart for it, i still couldn't post any of my AU art because ally wasn't public and she and howie were in the AU. in july 2022, for the comic's birthday, i revealed ally as a character to the readers. others around the time had started to notice characters i had in pfps and i ended up telling everyone i did have pollarrydoomi ship kids, but i didn't make them public.

in november 2022, i revealed eve on toyhouse. after her reveal, i would soon reveal sly as well in december 2022 on my birthday (revealing sly as a birthday present to myself is such a funny gesture now that you guys know how important he is to me). over the next few weeks i revealed cream, frosty, and marco as well. all of the main cometkids except chem.

then one day someone out there suggested that i make an ask blog for the cometcare AU. it was such a spontaneous decision, and i didn't even really know what i was gonna do with it at first. i was just kinda messing around. but when i made the blog i realized that if i wanted this AU to be experienced in complete authenticity, i couldn't make uni cis.

so i revealed uni being trans through the blog, despite the fact i'd gone so many years without ever revealing her identity. why did i do it? there's a lot of reasons. not wanting to make her a "dad" in the AU contributed, but also i felt like it wouldn't be detrimental to the story to confirm a character being trans. it also made me (and the crew in general) a lot more comfortable being able to properly refer to uni with her actual pronouns.

making the ask blog really changed me, because finally i could share this little family and comfort story i'd built in my brain with the world and make it real and make content for it and let people consume it.

but what stopped me most of all?

i've said it many times before... but i felt like it was cringey.

i felt like making an AU with 93985893844 fankids in a ridiculous complicated polycule wasn't something a Serious content creator should do, and i was really worried the reception would be negative or people would think it was stupid or something. i did NOT expect it to become as popular as it is. the blog actually has more followers than the MAIN ASK BLOG for the canon comic. it was received SO POSITIVELY and the fact it was just kind of blows me away.

it means so much to me. being able to share the most special thing in my life with people and for people to actually like it and have fun with me and want to see it, and for me to be able to not have to follow strict professionalism about spoilers and chronological storytelling, and being able to change and add in things whenever i felt like it. it's such a freeing experience.

when i was a kid, i used to make stories and OCs and i didn't take them as seriously as i do the sparklecare reboot. this kind of turned into my entire life and career kinda, so i had to take it more seriously. but making this AU honestly just makes me feel like i'm a kid again, it makes me feel like i can have fun and literally do whatever the fuck i want without worrying what people think or if it's realistic or if it makes any sense.

i know though, that some people don't like pollarrydoomi. and i know why. whether it's because of being attached to barruni (of course, they're the canon ship and main characters, i get it) or just having discomfort with the idea of shipping doom with anyone when canonically he hasn't experienced a redemption arc... i get it. i know not everyone likes it.

and that's okay! people are entitled to having their own feelings about content. i understand it. and i've come to accept that's always going to be the case with anything i do with these characters.

but i'm still going to do this for myself. i do this because it makes me happy to just have fun and not worry about being serious all the time. it feels good, especially when it's with characters that are really really important to me.

cometcare is genuinely the most special and important thing i've ever made for myself, it's such a huge piece of my identity and it makes me who i am. and being able to make this story public and share it with people and share these things that have been in my brain for so long with others means so much to me.

that's why i think it was the best thing i've done this year. it's kind of literally changed my life to be able to talk about them. it's made me happier than i've ever been making content. i'm not just making it to entertain myself alone anymore, i'm making it to entertain others like i do with other stuff. and the fact people actually like it still is unbelievable to me.

so, i guess my outlook for next year as it comes is to continue to stop taking everything so seriously. i can tell my stories however i want to. i hope others can realize they can do this too.

please make whatever you want, whenever you what, as much as you want, even if it doesn't make sense or if it's "cringe". you will be so much happier when you realize as a creator you DON'T have to take all of this so seriously. the comic still exists and people read it even if i'm doing this. You Can Do Whatever You Want And Nobody Can Ever Stop You. the only person who can stop you is yourself when you let your inhibitions get in the way of your ability to create things for yourself.

have fun! life is too short to take everything you do seriously

#text #cometcare au #pollarrydoomi #long post

[camilaxmartin]

Hi, could you write some x reader stuff for Vanessa/Vanny with a fem!i.t worker! Reader? Fellow x reader blog, like your acc

dating vanessa as an i.t. worker

i literally have no idea what i.t workers do as a job (i’m so sorry😭) so it’s straight up my imagination about that job, hope it’s alright!

navigation // information // masterlist

summary: just a bunch of headcanons about getting into a relationship and then dating vanessa

warnings: none i think

notes: i’m so sorry it’s so short, my brain is kinda in a rot but i wanted to post this😭

requests: closed!!

first of all i think you two would meet when one of the animatronics had some problems so she called for an i.t. worker and well there you were (let’s just pretend that animatronics don’t have children’s bodies inside of them for the sake of this fanfic)

when she opened the door for you she was literally speechless

you looked at her with a smile and she knew it was the end for her

after a moment of her collecting herself she finally let you in trying to hide how flustered she got

you decided not to say anything about her state and just walk by her with a small smirk forming on your face

when you got to the stage room and started repairing the animatronic that broke she stood right before you watching you all. the. time. and i mean like all the time

finally when you’re done, she gave a small smile and a lot of thank yous, which you just gave her a big smile in return

after that, she decided to call you more often, just about stupid incidents, like when a camera didn’t connect with the computer or when something was wrong with cables from animatronics

every time she’d greet you with a smile from ear to ear and something along the lines of “i didn’t know how to repair it so i decided to call you” or “i didn’t want to make the situation worse so i just called you” you loved every one of the excuses she made

every time you were at the pizzeria, she was casually walking beside you or standing there, and just casually and of course accidentally touching your back or your shoulder

there was one time when she actually accidentally touched your hand and she freaked out about it, and you couldn’t hold your laugh at her response

she apologised immediately and you couldn’t imagine a cuter sight right in front of your eyes

you grabbed her hand with yours and told her that it’s okay and you wouldn’t even mind holding her hand

to say her smile widened would be an understatement, her smile almost exploded

she squeezed your hand with hers and gave you a calmer smile while looking into your eyes and saying something like “i’ll keep that in mind” giving your hand another squeeze

next time after that, when you showed up at the restaurant, she was waiting on you being noticeably nervous but you decided to ignore that

when you got to the camera room cause supposedly the problem was there you noticed a single rose laying on cameras with a note saying ‘there isn’t any problem today, just wanted to spend my time with you, while your office thinks you’re working’

you smiled at the note and immediately went out of the cameras room to find her, she was standing in the stage room definitely waiting for you to come to her

when she noticed you, she turned around to face you and let’s just say she was a bit more than surprised when you walked over and hugged her, holding the rose she’d leave you

that night, you two spend mostly on talking about everything and nothing, while laying on some tables in the stage room, pretending to be looking at the stars while in reality you were just straight up starring at the ceiling

when it was your time to go back to your office, she had the biggest pout on her face that you’ve ever seen in your life

you chuckled and while standing at the door you quickly walked up to her and gave her cheek a kiss, whispering about waiting for another thing to broke down

she was speechless at first, but when she finally came back to earth she smiled dumbly at you and promised to call whenever anything happens

as if you didn’t already know that she would

finally, when you’ve been there for about a thousand time, she finally got the courage to ask you out on a date

you obviously said yes, with a huge smile

let’s just say the date went incredibly well and it was followed by many more dates

her favourite must have been the oceanarium one, on which you both seen so many animals you haven’t heard before and then got matching shark plushies

before you stared dating she started showing up at your work, just casually brining you lunch and sometimes wearing a very different outfit to her working one

all of your coworkers were jealous of your “soon to be” girlfriend

before you guys talked about the big question of being in a relationship, she had to tell you about something important

she invited you to her apartment and told you about the whole vanny thing with her personality

of course you were supportive and assured her it didn’t change anything in the way you viewed her

she looked at you with tears in her eyes cause, let’s be honest, a conversation like that wouldn’t be an easy one for our girl and smiled at you with the most sincere smile you’ve ever seen

before you could’ve say anything else she grabbed the collar of your shirt and brought you in for a kiss

you happily kissed her back and even turned it into a more heated one

let’s just say after that, it was very, painfully obvious you two were a lot into each other

soo, after the kiss you two decided to officially be together

vanessa planned a picnic date to ask you to date her once again, more officially

you just laughed at it all and agreed to, once again, be her girlfriend

much didn’t change after that, she was still calling you to the pizzeria for stupid stuff but decided to only call when something was really wrong, not to bother you at work when she could’ve have you all to herself after work

you didn’t mind her calls but the thought that she stopped calling you for silly stuff and going all lovely on you after work was somehow melting your heart

#fnaf vanessa x reader #fnaf vanny #vanessa shelly x reader #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf vanessa #vanessa shelly #vanny x reader #vanessa afton x reader #vanessa afton

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for leaving a DND campaign abruptly?

Some backstory: I had joined a DND game about 5 years ago right after breaking up with my toxic ex at the time. Me and my ex were both trying to be cordial at this time and ended up both joining a DND game run by a mutual friend.

In our first session, I had noticed my ex made her character be a parody of me that she made look like an awful person. She then kept dm-ing me during our sessions to tell me how to play my character better and other general backseat gaming stuff.

Very quickly, maybe about a month in, I contacted the DM about leaving the campaign due to wanting to distance myself from my ex. She was very upset I wanted to leave and offered to kick my ex from the group instead. I declined saying it would only cause more drama. The DM agreed to let my character go off at the end of the activity we were gonna do that session so it would make sense story-wise.

But this departure did not happen. after that conversation she vague-posted onling about how people dont want to be her friend. She then purposefully kept extending this part of the plot, just so I wouldnt leave the game and could realize it could still be fun. I told her outright I could not do this anymore after 3 more additional sessions and telling me she'll get to my character's exit soon. I always felt like an ass to the other players in the game for leaving them abruptly but I could not do it anymore.

Fast forward roughly 4 years, the DM tells me she is going to make a new campaign and would like for me to join since my ex was no longer in it. I agreed as I had missed playing DND a lot.

For the past year or so I have been in this campaign and it can be fun at times but I still feel out of place. This new session is a direct continuation of the previous campaign's storyline and regularly references it. Now, as far as I know my ex's character has not been referenced at all but I am constantly reminded of this situation whenever they mention a character's name I don't remember (because honestly I don't remember her characters name nor do I want to). I know I said to not bring her up around me but I don't quite trust this friend to keep her word. Simply because I don't think she ever remembers anything I tell her out of a place of... just not caring.

The DM and I just don't quite mesh that well. I don't really like her DM-ing style of making it up as the session happens. I don't like that she will constantly decide what my character is doing, even if I ask to do something, she tells me to roll to see if i can, i can get a nat20 and she will still decide what my character will do next based on what she thinks is funnier to her but makes my next action harder to accomplish.

I have dm'd her to talk about the progression of my character arc (after she constantly implys in session my character is the comedic relief and doesnt have any character development) and she'll go ooo and aaa (literally all she would say) but never actually implement anything I recommend.

I kept saying to myself it will get better in time. I have voiced my wants for my character, and they are ignored. In session, my character actions are essentially decided for me no matter how I roll the dice. It feels weird to be around half of the party bc they spent 4 years in a campaign with my ex who played a parody of me. esp hard after the DM keeps making me be the comedic relief even though I keep trying to play more seriously. other players constantly joke about how my character is gonna be the one that gets them all killed etc because of actions I dont necessarily decide.

Now as mentioned before, DM is also known to vague-blog about how "her friends secretly hate her" at any moment as well. This has happened before after I tried to "real talk" with her a handful of times over unrelated topics too (even if she initiates this conversation)

Given everything above, I want to leave this DND game after giving it a try for a year (really giving it an opportunity to improve). We left off with my character running off alone to get supplies for the party. I was thinking I could make a statement saying I had some personal things come up and I need to leave the game abruptly and leave it to the DM to decide what to do with my character.

Now I feel like I may be the AH because: I am leaving the game abruptly for a second time technically. I would contact the DM on how to make it make sense for my character to depart, but I feel like she will do the same thing as before with the previous campaign and keep putting it off, especially after ignoring my character growth ideas for a year in this current campaign. I also feel like I may be the AH because in character my group does need those supplies, but there is nothing stopping the DM from controlling my character to deliver supplies within the first 5 minutes of the next session.

#aita #am i the asshole

[babybluebex]

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝟐 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: series masterlist | on the night of graduation, eddie makes good on his promise to you and finally takes your virginity. 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: eddie munson (stranger things, 2022) x fem!reader 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut (minors dni, oral f!receiving, p in v sex, unprotected sex) praise kink, innocence kink, corruption kink. loss of virginity, possessiveness, everyone in this is 18+ and if you aren't, you shouldn't be reading it! 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: FINALLY managing to get this sequel out! and i have plans for more parts, so keep an eye out for a series masterlist! follow my taglist blog (@cremebruhleewrites) to be notified whenever i post something new!

Being Eddie’s girl was better than you could have ever hoped it could be. Finally, you could kiss him and hold him, just as you had dreamed of for so long. It really was a dream come true. 

You told the crew at Hellfire the day after you became official, and you had a few words with Dustin. “If you knew the whole time, why would you pretend like you wanted to know?” you asked.

“I didn’t give him the idea,” Dustin quickly defended himself. “I mentioned something about anonymous love letters, and he must have taken it from there.” 

“That’s literally you giving him the idea,” you argued. “You’re infuriating. Anyway, it was Eddie; surprise.”

True to his word, Eddie continued leaving you little love notes in your locker, only now they were written with his proper hand, and he signed his name every time. The shoebox full of letters under your bed grew more and more full, and you adored every second of being Eddie’s. 

He was so proud to have you as his girlfriend, and he showed you all the time. His arm was always around your shoulders or your waist, he pressed kisses to your face all the time, he would give you his jacket if you were cold or let you have the last bit of his lunch if you were hungry. He called you a litany of precious names, sweetheart or princess or baby, sometimes choosing “my girl”; every name made you grin. 

Eddie had snuck into your bedroom a few times after the first night, but he had kept his word, and he never fucked you. You did try to beg him to, but he was steadfast, not wanting to take your virginity before the right time. Whenever you asked when the right time was, he always shook his head. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But it’s not now, baby. I’ll know it when I see it.” 

A month passed together, then another, and soon it was time for graduation. Eddie had managed to finally pass Ms. O’Donnell’s class, and you had been the first he had told the good news to, picking you up and spinning you around. “‘86, baby!” he exclaimed. “My year! What’d I tell you?” 

“What’s going on?” you asked. “Eddie, what—”

“I’m graduating!” He exclaimed. “I passed O’Donnell’s final, I’m gonna graduate!”

“Oh my God!” you cried. “Eddie, I’m so proud of you! Oh, baby…” You clutched his face and kissed him deeply, and he held you close as he kissed you back. “But don’t actually flip off Principal Higgins, please. I don’t want you getting in more trouble.” 

The day of graduation came, and you pinned your cap to your head as you looked in the mirror in your bedroom. Eddie had come over to get ready for graduation, and he was laying on your bed as he watched you get ready. He was dressed nicely, maybe for the first time in his life, a buttoned shirt and khakis, although he still wore his dirty white Reeboks, but he was still as handsome as ever. “Alright,” you said, deciding your cap was secured. “Come on over, it’s your turn.” 

“You come over here,” Eddie smiled. “I’m too comfy on your bed.”

You rolled your eyes jokingly, and you got up from your place at your vanity and carried over a handful of bobby pins to where Eddie was sat, and you smoothed down his frizzy curls as you settled his cap on top of his head. “I’m really proud of you,” you told him, and you opened a bobby pin with your teeth before securing his cap to his hair with it. “You kicked ‘86’s ass.”

“Thank you,” Eddie said with a smile. “It means a lot that we get to graduate together.” 

You pouted out your lip at his sweetness, and he quickly swooped in and kissed your pouted lip. “You’re cheesy,” you told him, and he just laughed. 

“Well, it’s true,” Eddie told you. “I’m happy to be graduating at all, but especially with you at my side. I love you, princess.” 

You knew that Eddie loved you, and he had told you so since before you knew it was him telling you, but hearing him say it was special every time. He said it frequently, but every time felt like the first time. Your heart flipped and your chest warmed, and you hid a smile as you settled another bobby pin in his hair, getting the cap down more securely. He mumbled out an “ow”, and you finally let your smile show. “Sorry,” you told him. “You’re so cute.”

“When? Just now? When I said ‘ow’ because you’re sticking pins in my head?” Eddie asked, and you nodded. 

“I love you, you goof,” you told him, and Eddie smiled. 

“C’mon, we don’t wanna be late,” Eddie said, standing up quickly, and he grabbed you by your waist and pressed his hand to the small of your back to kiss you quickly. The brims of your caps knocked together as he kissed you, and you giggled. 

“Wait,” you started. “Your cap’s not on right—”

“As if I’m keeping this on the whole time.” 

Eddie had been right; he had taken the cap off almost the exact moment he was allowed to, after he crossed that stage and got his diploma. Tears were in your eyes as you watched him, donned in the green cap and gown, his hair fluffy at his shoulders as he shook Principal Higgins’ hand and accepted the diploma, and you covered your mouth with a laugh as, just before he stepped off the stage, he flipped a quick middle finger in the older man’s direction. 

The crowd had a mixed reaction— the parents gasped and the students all laughed— and Eddie was grinning like a fool when he got back to his seat. He was a few rows in front of you, and he turned to you and gave you an enthusiastic thumbs-up that made your heart warm. You sent him one back, and Eddie looked down at the diploma in his lap with a grin. You could tell that he was proud of himself as much as you were. 

Eddie found you after the ceremony ended, hugging you tightly. “Babe, babe, look,” he said, bouncing excitedly. He opened the little folder that the diploma was in, and he grinned at his name written there in fancy fake cursive. “Edward Munson, high school graduate.” 

“Oh, Eddie,” you cooed and hugged him, tucking your head into his neck. “I’m so fucking proud of you, baby.” 

“And you!” Eddie exclaimed. Your diploma looked exactly like his, only with your name written in that awful cursive, and Eddie kissed you quickly. “You graduated the first time! My smart girl.” 

“What’s that saying, third times the charm?” you said, and Eddie’s grin grew. “C’mon, let’s go home.”

“Wait, baby, wait,” Eddie said quickly, and he tugged you close, hugging you again. His mouth nestled right up against your ear, and he whispered, “I wanna take you to dinner tonight. Just you and me.” 

“Okay,” you nodded. “I’d like that.” 

“Baby, did you hear me?” Eddie asked. His eyes went all big as he pulled out from your ear, and he repeated himself. “Dinner, tonight. Just you and me.” 

“Oh!” you gasped as you understood what he meant. Your heart flipped in your chest and you couldn’t help but giggle at the insinuation. You had nearly forgotten his promise to take you to dinner before he fucked you, and your heart raced in your chest at the reminder of it. “O-Okay. Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure,” Eddie said softly. 

“M-Maybe we could skip dinner,” you suggested, your fingers knotting in your honor society cord. You couldn’t bear to look Eddie in the eye as you suggested it, and you focused on his silly white trainers, as you muttered, “Go straight to dessert, y’know what I mean?” 

“I do,” Eddie told you. “Are you gonna be able to come to my place tonight for dessert? Wayne’s working tonight, and I want you to be able to really enjoy dessert, without worrying if your parents will hear.”

“Yeah, I can do that,” you said, and your heart melted at his sweetness. “You’re so good to me.”

“I’m just doing what a boyfriend oughta do,” Eddie shrugged. 

“Well,” you told him, and you leaned close to him to swipe a kiss on his cheek. “You’re a very good boyfriend, Ed.” 

You had been to Eddie’s trailer a few times before, mostly just to help him study. There had been the one time where his hand had managed to snake up your skirt as you tried to help him study for biology, but, other than that, the trailer was new territory for you. You liked the energy of it, small and comfortable and homely, but Eddie seemed almost nervous to bring you there. 

“This is it,” he said, sealing his hands together in front of his body. “Um, bathroom’s that way if you need it… We can watch some TV or something if you want, whatever you need to… To get comfy, y’know?” 

You were quick to tug Eddie close to you by his belt, and you laid a gentle kiss on his sweet lips. “I’ll be okay,” you whispered, and Eddie nodded. “Where’s your room?” 

“Back here,” Eddie told you, and he took your hand in his as he led you to the furthest back room in the trailer. “It’s messy, I tried to clean it up but, like, I didn’t get very far. Got rid of all the dead cigarette butts, so hopefully it doesn’t smell too bad.” 

He was right; the bedroom was just a little chaotic, magazines and various junk scattered over every surface. His ashtray next to his bed was empty, though, even if it didn’t do much to alleviate the smell of cigarettes. But you didn’t care too much, because it was all Eddie. He had seen your bedroom, the only place in the world that was really yours, and now you had seen his. You quickly sat down in his unmade bed, hearing the old springs squeak underneath you, and you gathered your pillow in your arms as you settled yourself on your back. 

“Making yourself at home,” Eddie chuckled. “I like it. You look so good like that.”

“Like what?” you asked, and Eddie tugged the pillow from your grip before he climbed onto the bed, resting over you with his elbows by your head. 

“In my bed,” Eddie told you, and he swooped down to kiss your lips. You giggled softly as you kissed him back, and you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. “Lookin’ all cute and comfy. You look like you belong here.”

“Do I?” you asked, and Eddie kissed you again. 

“Of course you do, princess,” Eddie replied. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather see you.” 

His curls tickled your face as he kissed you, and you couldn’t help but grin into his kiss. Eddie never failed to make you feel like a true princess, and you loved him for it. It was bursting in your chest to tell him, and you gently bit his bottom lip. “I love you,” you whispered, and Eddie shared your smile. 

“God, I love hearing you say that,” Eddie whispered, and his kiss moved from your mouth to settle into your neck. His lips were gentle as he sucked at your neck, and you didn’t even think to chastise him for leaving a mark. You knew that, later, you’d have to lie to your parents and explain away the mark as a burn from your curling iron, but, for now, you enjoyed Eddie’s sweet lips on your neck. 

“Taste so good,” Eddie mumbled into your neck, and his teeth caught your skin, earning him a quick yelp. “Sound good too.” 

“Eddie,” you whimpered, your fingers tangling in his dark curls. You loved his hair, you always had, and you tugged slightly to get him to lift his face from your neck. All that did, however, was make Eddie moan against the damp patch on your skin. 

“I’m gonna fuck you so nice,” Eddie whispered. “Make it worth your time, baby, I promise.” 

“You always do,” you told him. “M-Make my time worth it, I mean. Like, I love whenever I’m with you, I hate being away from you—”

“You’re blabbering,” Eddie told you, and he laid one last kiss on your neck. “It’s cute, though.” 

His skilled hands lightly touched your waist, tangling in the waistband on your skirt, and he kissed your mouth again as he carefully undressed you. Eddie was being so gentle with you, something that he typically did, but it felt more special this time. Something about knowing that you were gonna go all the way with Eddie was igniting a fire in your belly, and your hands hurried to undress him too. 

“I love you,” you told him as you shucked off his nice buttoned shirt, and you were quick to touch every tattoo he had, kissing the ones on his chest and lifting his arm to your mouth to kiss at his puppet master tattoo. Eddie sighed, almost a moan, and he watched you with big, greedy eyes as your hands fell down to his belt. 

“C’mere,” he mumbled, and he used his strength to turn you over so that he was underneath you, his hips slotted perfectly between your thighs.  He settled himself up against the wall and watched you for a moment as you adjusted your weight, and he pushed his hair behind his ear as his own hands went to unbutton your shirt. 

You had done these motions countless times with Eddie, kissing and undressing, but something about this specific moment made you grab at Eddie’s wrist to stop him. “Wait,” you said softly. “I-I’m nervous.” 

“Oh, princess,” Eddie whispered gently, and his hands instantly left your shirt. “Do you not wanna do this? We don’t have to.” 

“No, no, I want to,” you said. “I’m just nervous.”

“Alright,” Eddie said, and his hands gently touched your hips. “What’re you nervous about?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “Just that… I don’t know. Like, you won’t like me as much afterwards or something, that it’ll hurt, just dumb little things.” You picked at a thread on your skirt as you mumbled out your words, and Eddie was quick to capture your hands in his. 

“I’ll make sure it won’t hurt,” Eddie told you. “I’m gonna prep you really good, it won’t hurt, I promise. And as for me liking you less, that’ll never happen. You are stunning, and you’re funny, and you’re smart and kind, nothing is going to change. In fact, I’m gonna love you even more. Okay?” You nodded, taking a deep and steadying breath, and Eddie gave you a crooked smile. “Good, good… Can I kiss you again?” 

You nodded quickly, your anxiety at least partly alleviated, and Eddie moved forward and sealed your lips again. This time, his kiss was hungry, his tongue prodding at your lips as you wiggled in his lap, and he groaned softly against your mouth. “Fuck, baby,” he whispered. “You’re right on my dick.” 

“Sorry!” you squeaked quickly, but Eddie’s hand was quick to lay flat against your back, keeping you from moving away. 

“No, princess, that’s not bad,” Eddie said. “You’re just moving right on my dick and it’s getting me hard.” 

“Oh,” you said softly. “Okay. Sorry.”

“What’re you apologizing for?” Eddie asked. “Keep doing it… It feels so fuckin’ good.” 

While you and Eddie had experimented before, this felt new and different, knowing that you were working up to having sex. A fun tingle appeared in your belly as you rocked your hips down on him, and Eddie sighed. Between your legs, you could feel a hardness in his pants, and you bit your lip as a smile overtook your mouth. “You like that?” you whispered. 

“Fuck, yes, baby,” Eddie moaned. “Feels so good, you have no idea…” 

You did have an idea of it, though. Every pass of his clothed erection on your panties was a spark, and you were worried that the fire would spread too quickly to get anything meaningful done. “Eddie,” you moaned softly, and his hands cemented themselves on your waist. “Eddie, fuck me, please.” 

“You don’t have to beg,” Eddie chuckled. “Although it sounds damn nice when you do.” With that, he turned you again so that you laid underneath him, and he kneeled above you as you undressed. Eddie littered kisses on your face once your shirt was up and over, and his own hands went to his pants, finally unbuttoning them and unzipping them. His cock spilled forward, held in only by his boxers, straining against the fabric, and your mouth watered. 

You had never seen Eddie’s dick before. Every time he snuck into your room and pleasured you, he never worried about himself, and you could only imagine the way he tugged his cock once he was alone, and excitement filled your chest as Eddie wriggled around, getting his pants down his thighs and off. He kicked them off the side of his bed, and he delved back down to you, kissing your neck again. 

“Eddie,” you moaned gently, your naked legs wrapped around his waist, and he jerked his hips up, pressing his clothed dick right against your weeping pussy. Your wetness smeared on the fabric, and the vein on Eddie’s neck stood out as he clenched his back teeth. 

“Fuck, baby,” he whispered. “This is gonna be so fuckin’ good, look at how wet you are…” His fingers gently glided up your slit, collecting your slick on his fingertips, and he offered his fingers to, letting them touch your mouth. “You wanna taste yourself?” 

Curiosity overtook you, and you opened your mouth to accept his fingers. The taste wasn’t anything special— really, you tasted his fingers more than you tasted your arousal— but Eddie’s reaction of flushed cheeks and quiet moans made the experience worth it. “Just like that,” Eddie mumbled, his big eyes drinking in the sight of you underneath him. 

You still wore your panties, and Eddie was quick to rectify that, using his free hand to tug them down your legs and off altogether. For a moment, he paused and looked at your panties in his fist, and he pressed them to his face, taking a deep breath of them. “You smell so good,” he told you, pulling his fingers from your mouth with a pop. “Good enough to eat. Do you want me to eat your pussy, baby?”

“Please,” you whimpered, and Eddie was quick to slink down your body, kissing at your tits and belly as he passed down. Finally, his breaths hit your wet cunt, and you whined softly as you grabbed a handful of his hair. 

“Good girl,” he whispered, letting his nose nudge your clit. You knew all about this, even if you had never done it before, and you took a deep breath to calm your heartbeat as a shock of electricity rocketed up into your brain. You had played with yourself before, Eddie had even done it to you, but the first swipe of his tongue on your clit was like nothing you had ever felt. 

Your hips involuntarily jerked down into the bed, trying to escape the throbbing pleasure, and Eddie laughed. “Oh, you’re gonna love this,” he told you, his hands snaking up to open your thighs for him, and he went to work, licking a broad stripe up your pussy folds. 

He wasn’t neat and clean about the way he ate you out. He was messy about it, spit and arousal coating his chin as he went to town on you, letting his teeth and tongue do the work to drive you closer to your release. Your back arched and you squirmed in his strong grip as he sucked hard at your clit, and those damn big eyes of his lifted up to look at you through his eyelashes. 

“Fuck, Eddie,” you moaned, and he released your clit in favor of licking at your wetness again. “More, baby, please, more.” 

Eddie pulled back from your pussy, his eyes still fixed on your face, his lips glistening with your arousal, and he worked up a mouthful of spit and quickly spat at your pussy. You shivered as you felt cover your throbbing clit and clenching hole and, somehow, as his eyes fixed on your pussy, you felt more exposed than ever before. “Aw,” Eddie cooed. “She likes being spit on, huh?” 

Your head fell back with a sigh as Eddie leaned forward and continued to eat your pussy, shaking his head as he licked at your folds. Every sensation felt new and different, and his moans reverberated up your spine and into your head. You felt dizzy, and you held onto his hair for dear life as he sucked at your leaking hole. “Eddie!” you squealed, your hips bucking up into his mouth. 

“Good, baby, good,” Eddie laughed. “Fuck my face, princess, just like that.” 

“Need you,” you whimpered, your hips jutting up and into his mouth again. He held his tongue out and happily let you ride his face, and Eddie’s mouth clamped onto your pussy and sucked hard at you. You gave him another squeal as heat curled itself in your belly, and Eddie rubbed soothing circled on the meat of your thighs. 

“How do you need me?” Eddie asked. “Tell me, baby, you want me inside you?” 

“Yes!” you cried. “Please, Ed, please, I need you!” 

“Aw, you said please,” Eddie chuckled, and he released from your pussy finally. You felt sticky and gross with the mix of spit and arousal that coated your skin and hair, but Eddie looked pleased with himself at the state you were in. “You’re so cute, baby. Let me get a condom, make yourself comfy up on the pillows.” 

“No!” you whimpered, grabbing his wrist tightly as he rose from his place. “D-Don’t, I…” 

“Don’t what, princess?” Eddie asked, and his dark eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t… Get a condom?” 

You nodded, biting your lip nervously. “I mean, I-I trust you,” you said. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Y-You can… You can fuck me raw, if you want.” The words felt so wrong and foreign coming from your mouth, and Eddie’s face fell. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I mean, are you on the pill or something?” 

“Well, no,” you began. “But I can get a morning after pill or whatever. Right?” 

“Yeah, you can,” Eddie said slowly. “Alright, baby, if you say so. But, remember, if we start and you end up wanting it, it’s really no trouble, alright? If you change your mind, I won’t be upset.” 

You nodded, and Eddie finally started to tug down his boxers. You watched greedily as his cock jumped forward once released, coming up to rest against the hairy patch on his tummy, and your breath caught in your throat. His cock was beautiful, long and thick, flushed just a tinge pink, already weeping at the head of him. 

Eddie moved closer to you, his hands reaching down and taking yours, and he leaned forward and swiped a kiss on your mouth. “You ready?” he asked softly, his eyes wide and full of concern. 

You nodded silently, squeezing his hands, and you whispered, “I’m ready, Ed. Make love to me.” 

“God, that sounds good,” Eddie laughed. One of his hands fell off of yours and went to his mouth, and he spit into his palm before rubbing his cock, smearing precum and spit all over himself. He laughed lightly and mumbled, “Ran out of lube, sorry…” and he touched the burning head of his cock to your slick hole. 

“Ran out?” you repeated with a laugh. 

“I jerk off a lot,” Eddie told you, his cheeks turning pink with embarrassment, and he slowly split you on his cock. The feeling was like nothing you had ever felt before; painful, yes, but so entirely beautiful and amazing. Your eyebrows furrowed and you let out a quiet sound of pain, and Eddie shushed you gently, reaching up to gently touch your cheek. “I know, baby, I know it doesn’t feel great. I’m sorry, I should’ve prepped you better…” 

“No, no, you did good,” you told him. “I love it, just… Feels weird, I guess.” 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said softly. He leaned forward and kissed you as he slid further inside you, and you whimpered against his lips as the spongy head of his cock slid against that spot inside you. “I’m so sorry, baby—”

“Feels so good,” you whispered breathlessly, and Eddie stopped his own words in their tracks. “More, Eddie, please.” 

“Alright,” Eddie chuckled, and he kissed you again. He slid inside you easily, the mix of spit and precum and your arousal making your hole and his cock slick, and you grabbed at his hair and tugged him into a deep kiss as he settled fully inside you, his heavy balls touching your cunt. Your pussy throbbed around him as he stilled to let you get used to the feeling, and he moaned deep into your mouth. “Fuck, squeezing me and shit… You’re so pretty, princess, I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you told him, and Eddie smiled. 

“Your pussy certainly loves me,” Eddie said, looking down at where your bodies met. Slowly, he rocked his hips back, withdrawing from you, and then he snapped his hips forward, burying himself inside you again, and you moaned at the feeling. 

“Fuck,” you whimpered. “Eddie, please, more, please…”

“You’re cute when you beg,” Eddie told you with a smile. “I’ll give you more, sweetheart, don’t you worry.” With that, his hands came to hold your waist, and he started to fuck you. His pace was slow at first, letting you adjust to the feeling of his hard, rigged cock, and he smiled and bit his lip as you grabbed at his shoulders. 

“Eddie,” you moaned. It felt like the only word you knew was his name, your eyes closing blissfully as his thrusts became faster, and your breath caught in your throat as he touched that spot inside you again. “Ed! Fuck!”

“I know, baby, I know,” Eddie whispered, and you quickly shook your head. 

“Feels good,” you choked out, and you opened your eyes to see Eddie’s big grin. He looked as happy as you felt, and you smiled up at him. “Hi there, handsome.”

“Hi there, gorgeous,” Eddie told you, and his tongue poked through his lips as he focused for a brief moment on fucking you. His cock slid in and out easily, bolts of pleasure rocking your pussy and body with each thrust, and your fingernails dug into his shoulder as you moaned. 

“Fuck,” you whispered. “Does sex always feel this good?” 

“With the right person, yeah,” Eddie told you. His chest was flushing red as his thrusts became faster, and the bedsprings underneath you squeaked with every thrust. “You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had, I can tell you right now.” 

“Really?” you asked. “How many, umm… How many girls have you fucked before me?” 

Eddie sighed, and he fell onto his elbows above you, his arms wrapping tight around you. “Two,” he said. “Both of them were back when I was a senior… The first time, I mean. I…” He laughed softly. “I don’t even remember their names. Some girls from the music scene, I don’t know. I don’t know if I ever knew their names.”

“Oh, Eddie,” you whispered, your heart sinking. 

“But it’s alright,” he told you. “You joined Hellfire that year, and… Baby, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You were so gorgeous, even back then, and I… I really fell head over heels for you. I did. And it wasn’t until now, with Dustin and the letters and everything… I never imagined I’d actually have you, and now I do. Everything’s alright now, because I have you.” 

“Eddie,” you whispered. “Fuck, I love you so much.” 

“I love hearing you say that,” Eddie chuckled. “I love you too, darling, you’ve got me for all eternity.” 

“That’s a long time,” you giggled, lifting your hips up to meet his. 

“Then, you know I’m serious,” Eddie said. “Forever and ever, princess, I’m all yours.” 

It didn’t take much longer for you and Eddie to finish, that delicious heat rising and rising in your belly until you were clutching him tightly and crying his name. You were glad that Eddie had the forethought to do it at his place, because you knew that there was no way you would have been able to stay quiet enough to not arouse suspicion from your parents. 

Eddie came quickly after you did, filling you up with his release, and he was quick to recover and get you his discarded shirt to clean up with. You laid in his bed as he got up from bed and stretched his arms over his head, and you admired the way his muscles flexed under his inked skin as he found clean clothes in his small closet. 

“Eddie?” you started as he returned to you, and he helped you sit up and he tugged a shirt over your head for you. You grinned down at the handmade Corroded Coffin t-shirt that covered your body, and you giggled as you fought to grab your panties. “Eddie, c’mon, I’m serious, I wanna talk to you.”

“Alright,” he said, sitting down next to you. He had slunk himself into a pair of plaid pajama bottoms, his firm chest and belly open to your eyes as he reached over to his nightstand and grabbed a hairband, and he started to put his hair up as he widened his eyes at you, prompting you to speak. 

“I, umm,” you started. “You… I know I’m only going to Indianapolis for college, it’s not that far away, but… But long distance, I, um… I’m just scared.” 

“Okay,” Eddie mumbled, the hairband held between his teeth. He snapped it around his fingers, and he added, “Are you scared we’ll break up when you go to college?” 

“I’m just scared of the distance…” you started. “Yeah, maybe it makes the heart grow fonder, but what if it doesn’t? What if we… What if we don’t survive it?” 

Eddie finally finished putting his hair up, and he scooped you into his arms and settled you above him again, your thighs parted around his waist. “We will,” he said. “We’ve survived so far, haven’t we? I’ll come up whenever I can, and there’ll be breaks from school that you’ll come home to Hawkins. We’ll see each other.” 

“But what if we don’t?” you asked. “I mean, it’s easy to say all of that now, but what if we don’t survive it? I can’t live without you.” 

“And that’s why we’re gonna survive,” Eddie told you. “Because I can’t even bear the thought of you going home tonight and not being with me. My heart hurts whenever you’re not here, and I… I know that we’ll be alright. Okay?” 

You nodded, and Eddie’s big hand touched your cheek. “Good,” he said softly. “Stay for just a few more minutes.”

“I’ll stay all night,” you told him, and you kissed him gently, tasting his lips one more time. “Let me call my mom and tell her I’m sleeping over.” 

“You’re gonna tell her?” Eddie chuckled. 

“Of course not,” you giggled. “I’ll say that Dustin and Jeff and Gareth are staying over too, something about getting ready for D&D on Friday.”

“You’re so cute when you lie to your parents,” Eddie said, pinching your cheek, and you rolled your eyes. “I love you, stupid.” 

“I love you too,” you told him. “Stupid.” 

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson smut #joseph quinn #eddie munson x you #my writing

[ultimate-babygirl]

Yan Kalim + Jamil/Reader HCs

I went and made a whole new blog just so I could post these thoughts.

Jamil was NOT very happy about the idea of sharing. At first. He warmed up to it a little though after seeing his partner dressed in the most expensive outfits one could imagine because Kalim refuses to let his sweetheart walk around in anything worth less than $600

Kalim actually LOVES sharing. He is the number one Jamil/Yuu shipper. If Yuu decided they wanted to run away and marry Jamil alone Kalim would find his way to the wedding to pose as best man. He’d be a little disappointed, but they’re his two favorite people ever.

Is he a little yandere for Jamil too?? Perhaps a smidgen

His biggest thing is watching them. Whether it’s sitting in a chair next to the bed, or with Yuu propped up against his chest while Jamil fucks them. He loves to see his two favorite people making love.

Before they got together his go to fantasy was Jamil and Yuu. Always.

Jamil fucks like a machine btw. He LOVES overstimulation. Wants to fuck Yuu until they’re sobbing and can’t take anymore.

Ik a lot of ppl don’t like the concept of Jamil using his UM on his darling but. I’m fucking obsessed w/ it. Love hypnotism/mind control. Literally just anything in that area.

Anyway Jamil uses his UM to make Yuu feel twice as much as before, or to dull sensations. Anything that makes them frustrated. He finds it adorable.

I can never stop thinking ab this hypnosis vid I watched YEARS ago and now can’t find titled “Pain is Pleasure”. Jamil doing that to Yuu.

He fucks them until they literally can’t take it anymore and faint. He’ll stop then, but only because it’s not as fun without getting to see their tears.

Kalim is a great buffer for that actually. He’s a sweetheart and wants his darling treated gently. He usually stops Jamil from being too rough, but the second Jamil gets Yuu alone it’s over

Kalim’s gotten them alone a few times! He prefers the soft and slow approach. Lots of sweet kisses and praise. Jamil might call you his little whore but Kalim knows you’re his treasure.

Mirror sex w/ Kalim,,,,,,

Kalim gets Yuu in front of a mirror and touches them all while talking about how pretty and smart they are. Yuu always ends up flushed down to their chest by the end of it.

Kalim will make them repeat him. He doesn’t want the words going in one ear and out the other, so they have to say it themself! He hates punishing them but if it comes down to it he’ll stop touching until Yuu says it.

Kalim holding them down while Jamil uses his UM,, WAH

I know logically that for his UM he doesn’t have to like. Speak in a special voice or anything. But I can imagine.

“You’re our little treasure, understand? You’ll never leave us. You love us, after all.”

Kalim is a little insecure at the idea that Yuu didn’t already love them, but Jamil assures him this is just a safety net. Yuu is their little treasure, and so many people would love to steal something so beautiful.

In conclusion. Yeah I like them a lot

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #kalim al asim #twisted wonderland kalim #twisted wonderland jamil #yandere #ns/fw #ns/fw text #dubious consent #?? #maybe #I think I was pretty vague save for the last bits #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere jamil viper #yandere kalim al asim #reader insert #kalim x reader #jamil x reader #yuu twisted wonderland #jojo’s TWST posting

[scoobydoodean]

People do need to understand that Tumblr is a blogging site and consider the actual implications of that. Like. I do get the confusion at first when you come from somewhere like Reddit or Twitter or whatever because it took me a long time to get this too, but Tumblr is a blogging site—which means people come here to fill a personalized page with their own personal little thoughts. People who like to read their silly little thoughts or see art they create or whatever can follow them if they want.

The reason argumentative, rude, and/or aggressive reblogs/comments are generally frowned upon here is that Tumblr is a blog site. You aren't commenting to the general public in some community subreddit—you are commenting on someone's personal blog page. They are the moderator of that page and have full control of the content on that page and its notes. In other words, each person here is the captain of their own little ship. They will often let you come hang out on their little ship and chat, but there is no expectation that they tolerate your rudeness, your snippy little whiney bratty tags, or your obnoxious unasked for and often ill-formed opinion that they are wrong about everything ever in the history of time... especially over silly fandom disk horse.

Reblogging someone's post to be a shitbag in their notes is like walking into someone's house, being offered a meal, and spitting in their food. It doesn't matter that you think the food is nasty. You keep that shit to yourself. You can whine and moan on your own blog (I do it all of the time!) If you want to go somewhere and literally just fight back and forth with people for eternity, reddit is right there and will make it incredibly easy for you.

#bronlies get well soon (you won't. but please for the love of god try drinking a glass of water and taking a nap)

[ffc1cb]

new art blog

the short version:

1. i made a new art blog: @cbge;

2. @ffc1cb will stay up as an archive.

the long version:

hi everyone. this announcement is somewhat late, since the blog in question has been up for a few months now, and i’ve already started posting art on it. the reason it took me so long to “reveal” it is because i’ve been trying to figure out whether a new blog is something i actually want, or if it's just me throwing darts at a board, trying to make myself feel better somehow.

i don’t know when precisely it all started, but ever since sometime last year i’ve been going through a hard time, both emotionally and creatively. i’m not sure whether being depressed is what made art harder, or art becoming harder is what made me depressed (a bit of both, i think), but lately, drawing has been a struggle. 

i’ve found myself having less and less energy for art, and this lack of energy resulted in poorer quality of drawings, which resulted in me feeling like i’m getting worse at it, despite my efforts. i knew i could make good art, art that i’m proud of - i’ve done so countless times before, - but somehow it felt like i just couldn’t anymore, like my hands forgot how to. nothing looked right. 

i’ve been trying to experiment. i’ve learned some new things, tried this and that - it was enlightening, to say the least, and even though i kind of liked how it looked, it made me feel a sense of displacement. i was at odds with myself, my art, and how i felt about it, when previously i was always in sync. i was making art, yes, and it looked nice, but it felt like it wasn’t mine.

i suppose part of it was also the growing lack of engagement, and i don’t mean likes and reblogs - i never particularly cared about those. they are all just numbers to me; dry and impersonal. what i’m talking about is actual, human interactions: personal thoughts in tags, asks, replies, etc. a conversation. 

i don’t mean to sound “old” or anything, but i remember when talking to artists online was more commonplace. my wife tells me it’s because the internet culture has changed over the years, that people have become more reclusive, less willing to be open with their thoughts, and she's probably right, but in my slump i find it hard to believe. somehow it feels like it’s my fault for being less “engaging”, for seeming unapproachable or perhaps intimidating. maybe it’s “just a skill issue”, maybe it’s because i have stopped churning out fanart for popular fandoms, maybe it’s because i refuse to torture myself emotionally by having an art account on twitter (i can’t fucking stand the place anymore; i still post nsfw art there, but only because it’s literally one of the only places on the internet that allows you to do so. i miss when you could post female presenting tits on tumblr).

i have always, ever since i started posting art on the internet back in 2012, done it for human connection. i wanted to talk to people, and have people talk to me. i wanted to inspire people with my art, and i wanted to bring them comfort. i wanted to elicit an emotional response, and have people tell me about it. it was one of the main reasons i drew in the first place; having lost that, i’ve been struggling to stay passionate about making art.

i miss being a small artist on the internet during the 2010s. i remember when i could make a post going, “hey everyone, how are you all doing today?” and it would not seem weird to people in the slightest. it is just me? does anyone else feel that way? am i too deep in my own head? the internet feels so unwelcoming nowadays, especially to artists. we are all just content machines; people scroll by our stuff, or maybe look at it for half a second and leave a like before scrolling away. i know it’s unfair to demand people’s attention, especially now when our lives are already so overwhelmed by everything - no one has the energy to pay closer attention; i myself am not immune to mindless scrolling. but it feels bad. i wish we were all sincere and enthusiastic again.

anyway (sorry for rambling. i hope i haven’t bored you to death), you might want to say, okay, but how is making a new art blog on a “dying” social platform going to help with any of that? the truth is, i don’t know. i just felt like i needed a change. 

i’ve been running this blog since 2016 (that’s almost 8 full years!). i feel incredibly attached to it, but at the same time, i feel it weighing me down. 

there are people who followed me years ago for one specific thing, still expecting me to post about said thing (i still find it mindboggling that some people follow artists for a specific fandom only, but that is a whole other matter for a whole other post that i will never write). a third, if not half, of my following are probably dead blogs. and with my current struggle with trying to regain the joy i once felt for making art, looking back at all the art i’ve done over the years makes me feel tired. i still love it all; it’s all very dear to me. i’m proud of it; looking at it makes me mourn my younger and more passionate self.

so i’ve decided to make a new blog, where i will let myself post whatever i want, in whatever stage of donness i feel like. maybe it will help me, somehow. maybe it won’t. but if you care about my art, if you want to keep following me on my artistic journey, i welcome you to join me there. similarly, feel free not to - no hard feelings.

thank you everyone for your support over the years; it matters a lot to me. i’m not planning to delete or private this blog; it will stay up, and i will still be reachable on here. i will still answer asks, if there will be any. i’m just not planning to post any art here anymore. this is it for my dear old friend ffc1cb.

i can be found in other places:

@cbge, as mentioned earlier,

@k0nstanta, an art blog dedicated solely to my wife and i’s ocs,

@inquisimail, a dragon age ask blog that has become my dragon age sideblog in general,

and multiple other blogs, none of which are art related, but feel free to ask, if you’re curious.

thank you very much for reading all of this. i hope you have a wonderful day.

#salt talks

[p-redux]

So, more info from Hyrox Glasgow 2024! Again, thanks Team for all the DMs, I really appreciate you! ❤️

Reminder of what I posted yesterday.

And

So, today, I get this video of Sarah Holden competing at Hyrox Glasgow, and you can CLEARLY hear Sam Heughan cheering her on. Sam's voice is at the very end. At the beginning, you hear a man with a thick Glasgow accent pronouncing Sarah's name Serah. That's NOT Sam. There's also a woman's voice. And at the END of the video, you can hear Sam's unmistakable "C'mon, Sarah!" This was shared by one of the Team and I saved it to my YouTube Channel. Enjoy!👇

I also received this DM with additional info. 👇 Posted with permission.

Here's the pic where Sam is tagged. 👇

And Sarah posting she got FOMO aka Fear Of Missing Out and spontaneously competed today in the women's open race. 👇 She definitely matches Sam's energy level! I'm tired just looking at her. 😊

Anyhoooo, I also got some conflicting info regarding whether Sam competed yesterday after all. I was alerted to this Tweet. 👇

And then I received this DM from someone I've never talked to. 👇

It's all very confusing. On the one hand, it is weird that if Sam competed, he never posted anything on his own IG. On the other hand, Hyrox DID post his results as if he DID compete yesterday. 👇

If Sam decided to not compete and wanted to give his slot to someone else, why wouldn't Hyrox be able to substitute the other man's name? Everything is computerized, so I don't see why they couldn't have made the change easily. Also, isn't it fraudulent to post results with Sam Heughan's name if he wasn't the one competing?

On the flip side, if Sam didn't actually compete, then he literally went to Hyrox to watch Sarah! Those saying "No, he went to watch his friend, Valbo. who also competed." Yeah, except Valbo didn't compete until 6:00 PM yesterday, and Sam was there at 12:00 PM, when the women's competitions started. Literally RIGHT THERE where Sarah was competing. 👇

No reason for Sam to be there 6 HOURS before Valbo was competing if he only went to support Valbo. 🤷‍♀️

I ran out of room to post pics since Tumblr limits to 10 pics, but I also got a DM saying Sam got a bunch of new Instagram follows who are Sarah Holden fans. That leads me to think they went to follow him because they saw him with Sarah at Hyrox.

So, that's it for now. I'm in the process of vetting someone from the Glasgowish area who approached me with some Sam and Sarah info. If she and the info check out, then I'll post it.

PS. I'm hearing from people that my usual haters and assorted newish haters are gnashing their teeth about my #samarah posts...same as it ever was. This has happened any time I've ever posted about Sam possibly dating someone. If you look at my track record for the last 10 years, my info has been at least 90% accurate. No one in the Outlander fandom would have known about Cait and Tony, and Sam and Cody, Abbie, Mackenzie, etc if not for my INSIDER source info, and me posting it FIRST. Facts, people. So, the hate makes no never mind to me. I keep doing me. I'm here for those who want the info. If that's not you, go somewhere else. Simple as that.

Oh, one more thing...the LIE that I have a restraining order against me from Sam resurfaced in my Inbox. Let's use our brains once in our lifetime, shall we? If I had a restraining order or a cease and desist, I wouldn't still be here, now would I? Doh. 🤦‍♀️ My blog is just like any celebrity news blog. It's called freedom of speech, peeps. And in the USA people have died to protect this right. That's all, folks.

#samheughan #sam heughan #sarah holden #samarah #hyrox #hyrox glasgow #big red oliver #valbo #results #haters gonna hate #freedom of speech