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starshipsofstarlord · 3 years

Note

Hey if requests are open can I ask one?

Can you do a bucky or stephen strange x reader where the reader falls under the ace spectrum and they are terrified to tell him that they are ace.

I'm ace (on the spectrum) and I've been struggling with forming romantic attachments and not feeling like "complete" or "enough" so I just felt this would be nice💕

If its convenient for you then please do this request

Thank you!

On the spectrum

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary | based on the request. I kinda made a little twist to it, so I hope that you like it. I am in no way saying that asexual people can only be with asexual folk, but I thought this might be cute, so I wrote it like this xx

Warnings | erection, mentions of sex, ^^

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Jolting up from your rest, your eyes widened as you get your weight lounging upon Bucky, eyes wide as felt an appendage of his jolting stiffly upon your inner thigh. It was a surprise, the pair of you, through the expanse of your short term relationship, had never had the conversation of sex, and a part of you wanted to avoid it at all costs. There was something that you needed to inform Bucky about, but you were wary of what his reaction could be.

You weren’t sure that he would understand, after all, back in the 40s he was known for his womanising reputation, and whilst you knew that you weren’t another loose fling that had no attachments, it was still a big deal to share the truth with him. Not only would it impend and possibly affect his view of a future with you, but it would promote a new side to you, that you hadn’t told many people about.

Nat knew, but that was only because years back, you had confided in her, confused about your lack of sexual attraction to anyone. She had been supportive, and prompted you to research online, to see if you were as she suggested, asexual. There were many perceptions of the sexuality, some people would still do the deed to keep their partner happy, and others swore off the act altogether.

It wasn’t that the thought and idea of sex grossed you out, in fact, you could understand that people did it to feel amounts of pleasure that came from nothing else. But the rouse of body parts brushing against the other, and slipping inside was not something that ever appealed to yourself. And then you met Bucky, and your perception of the ordeal remained the same; you weren’t blind, you knew Bucky was extremely attractive, however, there still seemed to be no pulse in your veins that was prompting you to jump his bones.

It wasn’t him, it was you, and that was more okay. There was nothing wrong with not having a desire to perform erotic acts with any partner, and more so than his appearance, you had fallen for not only Bucky’s heavenly appearance, but his soul. He had an old soul, that was a given, with all things considered. And that was what had first made you step towards the man that liked to be alone, and change his perception of that fact.

He was new to the team, Tony enjoyed picking fun at the man, who as he liked to say ‘hadn’t got any in eighty years’. Bucky hardly responded to Iron Man’s nit picks, ignoring them instead to settle the conflict in his eyes. Berating with Tony was off the table, and so were snarky remarks, otherwise the billionaire would remind him of his sins against the Stark family, although in foresight, he had just been carrying out orders.

A groan relented from the man beneath you as you uncomfortably shuffled, his cock clearly rubbing against your thigh. His sleep dazed eyes slowly peeled open, revealing the blue globes beneath that stared up at you. A furrow endorsed his features, as he came to realisation of what had you so frozen; he was hard, nothing in particular had turned him on, it was just his body’s way of rousing him from slumber, and apparently it had extracted you from your rest also.

He released his arms from around you, watching as you shyly rolled to the side, and glanced at him from out of the corner of your eye. He released a small and sorrowful smile as he glanced down to where the covers had lightly raised from his manhood, feeling guilty for how his body had reacted by itself. “Doll face I’m sorry, I didn’t- it just- ugh.” The man groaned, rubbing his face with his prosthetic hand as he tried to rid the dust from out from the corner of his eyes.

“It’s okay.” Your voice came across as meek, small to the elephant in the room. “Just I- there is something I should tell you.” You twiddled with your fingers, picking nervously at the hanging skin that had chipped its way partially off on your latest mission, that had required you to furiously try and peel a jammed car door open to get the family out. Bucky now focused all his attention on you rather than the uninvited presence of his little friend in the bedroom, his pupils sending you signals of warmth as if to tell you that whatever you were going to tell him next, he would remain here for you.

“I’m asexual, and I get that you aren’t and you probably want all of nothing in this relationship but-” You spoke, but quickly paused when you saw Bucky tilted his head, a clear frown creating a thin line through the middle of his forehead. “What is it, do you not want me or-“ he stopped you from speaking, reaching out to hold your hands, giving them a light comforting squeeze, before he happened to open his mouth to speak.

“Doll face.” That name made you gulp, afraid that it would be the last time that he addressed you in such a way. And if it were, then that emotional connection that you felt to him would be unwound, and set out to sea to float and turn under the waves. “Asexual.” He tested the word on his tongue, as he lightly nodded, for some reason the phrase feeling right upon his tongue. “Can you explain it to me, I don’t know what it is?”

Of course, he wouldn’t know what it is! It made sense, he was from the forties, where various sexualities were not explored, all because straight white men thought their opinions were inferior. Well now, everyone had the freedom to be who they wanted to, and could be attracted to whomever they pleased, as things should have always been. Brushing your hand through your hair, thinking of holding onto the locks for dear life as you felt your nerves persevere, and spur in your membrane.

“It’s where someone does not experience sexual thoughts or feelings, towards anyone. Their thoughts are primarily romantic, and that’s how I feel. I do love you Buck, but I’m not sexually attracted to you, and I understand if that is a deal breaker for you. Not everyone wants to be put on a sex ban for the entirety of their relationship, but for me, it’s not like that at all, instead it’s more so I find the little moments to be more intimate than intercourse.”

“Y/n... I, not to jump the gun, but I’ve been feeling the same way.” Bucky slowly spoke, making your eyes dart up to his guilty expression. “I guess eighty years on ice will make you think about the things that are more important, and you are the most important person to me, and I guess if we neither of us have any desire to have sex, then me and you are supposed to work.”

It was surely a surprise, but he had contained his emotions, thinking that even when Tony pried at him for his lack of involved affections, he felt ashamed, as though there was something wrong with him. But it appeared as this day and age was far more fitting for this version of him, the one that had endured the battles against aliens and his own friends.

“I’m sure we’d have found a way to sort your needs out even if you weren’t asexual.” It felt strange for him to hear himself described with that word, but it felt right. “And look, it’s gone down.” You laughed lightly, resting against his chest once more as he let out a breathy laugh, and cuddled you to his chest. “I’m with you for you Buck, I love every part of you. And I think, maybe we should move out of the compound and get a place together, maybe downtown?”

“Really?” His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, shining with festive luminescence. “You want that, with me?” You humbly nodded, pressing a kiss upon his cheek as you inhaled his scent. His hands dipped to your waist, holding you that bit tighter. He was never going to let you go, no matter who was what, or what was who. The two of you were y/n and Bucky, and you got through anything.

That way, leaving these Stark white four walls behind, Stark himself could not pry at the soldier, nor make jokes about his lack of sexual affection. The two of you were complete with the truth wading between you, there was to be no dwelling or worrying about the other thought, because you both understood.

#bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky oneshot #bucky imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes request #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky reader insert #bucky request #sebastian stan fluff #Bucky Barnes x reader fluff #imagines #imagine #xreader #marvel x reader

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ninjaslegos · 3 years

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All of Them Empty but Mine part two pleaseeeee and thank you.

I dunno if you wanted angst or like a happy ending...I went with the happy ending though because I had an idea for it faster than the angst lol.

I Remember, Do You?

Where Zane finds a backup file containing extra memories.

"It doesn't make sense, I am not capable of receiving head trauma." Zane frowns as he collaborates with the others. They had just been released from the hospital.

Lloyd shrugs, "they were probably generalizing it. Like how I say 'you guys' but Nya's a girl."

"I suppose you're right." But still, something felt off.

The walk to the monastery was slow, and quiet. Everyone was thinking, trying to remember what happened to them. They were told they were in an accident, but they don't remember being in a car. Something else was going on, but what exactly? No one had a clue.

"Sensei, we're home." Lloyd opens the door to see his uncle there, waiting for them.

"Welcome home." Wu greets them with a smile, but his face falls in confusion. "Where's (Y/N)?"

Lloyd remembered that name from somewhere, but he couldn't quite recall. Was it someone online? Wait, that was the name of the person who said they loved him, the creepy person. "Oh, I blocked them." He didn't understand how his uncle knew about you, but it didn't click yet.

Now he looked surprised. "What have they done?"

"They were being creepy and told me they loved me, I don't even know them!"

"No..." Wu's face twists into one of horror, "they promised they wouldn't use their power...where are they now?"

The ninja looked to each other for answers, but none of them had any. "We don't know," Lloyd feels guilty, "were they important?"

"Yes, very! The whole of Ninjago could be at stake if we don't get them back as soon as possible." He shuffles off before anyone can ask anything, leaving them to figure it out for themselves in his usual 'mysterious Wu' fashion.

"Well, at least tell us why!" Jay shouts after him before he closes the door. "Great, we don't even know where to start."

Cole pipes up after thinking for a bit, "well they're clearly a wanted person, and whoever was after them needed us out of the picture. But why didn't they kill us in that crash? They only took our memories."

Nya looks angry. "What's wrong?" Kai asks his sister.

She huffs with frustration. "I can't control my element anymore, why do I remember doing it, but suddenly I can't use my power?"

This alerts everyone else, and they rush outside to test their powers.

"I can't use airjitzu anymore, despite knowing how to." Kai scoffs.

"So? You still have your elemental dragon! I know I had one, but suddenly I can't summon it anymore!" Jay rambles. "Why can't I summon it?"

"What happened to my earth punches?" Cole asks. "I feel weak..."

"At least you guys have your full potential unlocked! I feel like I'm a powerless 10 year old again!" Lloyd snaps.

"What about you, Zane?" Nya asks. He doesn't respond. "Zane?"

"Oh, I apologize for zoning out; I just remembered something." He smiles. "I might have an answer to our problem." He turns to Lloyd, "after I first died, once Chen was defeated, Pixal and I developed a memory chip that I could use in case I ever needed to remember my past."

One by one, the teams' faces brighten with smiles. "Zane, you're a genius!" Jay grins and comes over to hug him. "Let's go find those backup memories!"

Lloyd feels nervous about watching everything Zane had seen. What was his relationship like with this '(Y/N)' he knew? They loved him in some way, but he had no idea what his feelings were towards this person.

Zane plugs the memory chip into the computer, and everyone huddles around to watch. He typed your name into the search, and every file pertaining to you showed up. First, everyone read through his description of you. "A good friend, (Y/N) has the power to manipulate, create, and erase memories, but has promised not to use them against us. Not only do they think it is morally wrong, but it hurts them to use it." Then came a voice clip from you.

"I don't ever want to have to use this power. If I do, it's to protect others from death." Your voice...it was so smooth and light on Lloyd's ears.

No one liked these implications. "We were...going to die?" Jay whimpered.

"Hey," Nya put her hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him, "we don't have any proof it was them who did it. Maybe there are others with this power." It held little reassurance; it had to be you.

Lloyd took over, scrolling through memories. In the majority of them, he was always with you. You looked so pretty, and you were so sweet and kind; no wonder he spent a lot of time with you. You must've been his best friend, but he found himself starting to form a small crush on you, despite not remembering you. "Zane? Do you know why I chose to become a ninja? When I fled from home, I could've become anything, but I wanted to protect people. I'm not the monster everyone thinks I am."

Soft in spirit, and gentle in voice and body; were you real? He wanted to hold you. "Woah, Lloyd, do you like them?" Jay snickers.

"Huh? What do you mean?" He looks around at the others.

'Well for one, you're smiling." Kai smirks.

Cole adds, "and you've been staring at them in the videos."

He shrugs, "I'm just learning about them."

A little bit of teasing and sweet memories later, darker stuff starts to emerge. "Zane, I'm scared. I had the bad dream again. You're smart, don't you know how to get rid of them?"

"Go to Lloyd, he'll help you. He always does."

You smile at him, "thank you."

"What? What bad dreams?" Nya asks, going through older memories.

They found one of you, curled up on the couch with Lloyd, who was hugging you as you sobbed in his arms. Everyone else was there, trying to comfort you. "He was there, dad was there, and he kept hurting me, and threatened to kill everyone else, too."

"It's okay," Memory Lloyd rubbed your back, "He hasn't been looking for you, and if he was, I'd fight for you. We all would."

Everyone exchanged worried glances as they continued going through Zane's memories of you.

"What if I end up like him?"

"I'm scared of hurting other people."

"How could anyone love me?"

Lloyd couldn't take it anymore. "Let's go to the last memories, that should tell us where they are. I don't want...I can't watch this anymore."

No one had to speak or move to prove they agreed with him. The last memory saved to the chip was of Lloyd talking into his phone and crying, as the others tried to comfort him. "Please, (Y/N), if you get this, call me back. I need to know you're safe, I need to know your father didn't get you. I...need you."

He sounded so sad, so broken. Clearly he loved you very much, so why did you erase his memories of you? He knew why; you said yourself that you never messed with others' minds unless it was a life or death situation, but he didn't want to believe that he wasn't going to die if you didn't. Even now, with nothing to go off except for these memories of you, he still liked you, crushed on you, loved you. That's how he knew it was meant to be. He couldn't take it anymore. "I-I have to go." His voice cracked as he scurried out of the room.

(Y/N). He looked at his phone. He looked at the last message you sent to him, Hey, Lloyd, I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this. I still love you. He was clearly your boyfriend, and you were kidnapped; counting on him, and he blocked you. It must've broken your heart. He scrolled up, looking through all the messages you sent to him in the past. One of which was a location. Hopeful, he decided to bring the information to the others.

"Actually, we found something too." Zane informs him.

"Yeah, you were (Y/N)'s boyfriend!" Jay pipes up cheerfully.

Boyfriend? The thought made Lloyd blush. You were perfect, and his? The text you sent him wasn't platonic love, but romantic?

"No, not that, the other thing." Cole chuckles, then his face falls as he becomes serious. "(Y/N)'s father was planning something, and kidnapped them. We suspect it's because of their ability to manipulate the mind, as they have stated their father made them for that exact purpose."

Lloyd nodded, "then it's a good thing I know their last location." He shows them the phone, and immediately the team starts getting ready to head out.

It doesn't take them long to reach the location on the map, but there isn't much left to the scene. There's a vengestone cage, a splintered chair, and a stain of blood. Lloyd's shoulders sank in disappointment.

Nya shakes her head, "there has to be a clue, anything. The (Y/N) in Zane's memories was smart, they had to leave something behind."

"They did." Kai gulps, pointing to the blood. It's smeared across the ground with haste, as if whoever had you last was trying to quickly relocate you.

No one speaks, they just follow the trail until there's nothing left but scuffs in the dirt. "I can track the footprints." Zane's eyes start to glow as he scans them, leading the team to another track, of which were tire marks.

"(Y/N) must've been put in a vehicle and driven to the next location." Lloyd doesn't waste any time, and just keeps going. He's silent, and in a rush to rescue you.

It takes several hours, and everyone's tired and sore, but the tracks soon end at the edge of Ninjago City. "We should look for something out of place, that's where (Y/N) should be if their father is hiding them." Lloyd orders.

"Like that?" Jay asks, pointing to the closed antique shop across the street.

"Jay's right, it's Wednesday afternoon, I don't think most shops close this early." Cole agrees.

Nya scoffs, "especially one with hardly anything in it."

Zane uses his ice to craft a key so they could unlock and enter the shop without setting off alarms and alerting anyone. "I am detecting a large entity beneath the floors."

"Probably behind that 'employees only' door." Kai points.

It's unlocked, and behind it is a deep hole with a ladder. One after the other, they slide down it and land safely on the bottom, of which was a giant room that looked like some laboratory for unethical science. The centerpiece, though, was a large mammalian creature with a long tail, antlers, tusks, and shaggy fur of a familiar hair color. Held down by the several chains around its neck, body, and limbs, it whimpered and whined at the person in front of it, who was a man with similar hair color, also with antlers and small fangs. He kept cooing at the creature, but it just whined more.

Finally, he snapped at the creature, "you're a no-good, piece of shit child!" He then began striking it with a thin metal pole, which caused deep lashes that oozed teal blood, thick as molasses. Screaming and howling in pain, he silenced it with more yelling, "if you don't shut your stupid fucking mouth, I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!" Panting and crying teal tears now, it quieted down. He softened his voice for it, "I'm doing this for you, because I love you." He strokes behind it's massive ears, and scratches under its chin. "I'm all you have left, your friends are gone, so tell your dear father you love him too." Unable to speak, the creature just purrs; a deep rumble in its chest. "You're being so good, (Y/N). I'll let you go soon."

(Y/N). Lloyd felt sick. The ground around your large paws was covered in your blood, and he couldn't even see the grungy, grey floor beneath the bright teal substance. You could barely stand, weak and malnourished. You were down here being abused and treated like some experiment while he stayed in the hospital to heal a concussion he and the others probably didn't even have.

Kai, who couldn't stand to see anything being treated like this, jumped out without thinking and began attacking the man, your father. Nya and Cole were right behind him, readying their weapons and letting out battle cries.

"Kai, - guys, stop!" Lloyd yelled after them, but it was too late. Your father, fast with monster DNA, blinked away before anyone could hit him.

He tsked with aggravation, turning on you instead of the ninja. To anyone else, they wouldn't see anything immediately wrong with this, but Lloyd knew. "You stupid brat! You promised me that you erased their memories!" You began howling again as he beat you with the pole. "Now not only will you suffer for it, I'll make you watch as I rip their heads from their bodies!"

Fat tears dribble down your cheeks and chin, and one of them lands on poor Kai, who lets out a disgusted groan. Nonetheless, the team continues to try and fight against your father, as there's nothing left to do. They can't reason with him, so they must fight for their lives.

"You don't have to take this!" Lloyd shouts above the pain and clashing of weapons. Your ears flick, hearing him, but you don't want to hurt anyone. Not anymore. "You're a ninja, (Y/N)! You said you wanted to protect others!" You let out a shriek and cover your ears, it's too much. "How can you protect others if you're being used to hurt them? You can't even protect your own team!" You're being timid.

"You." The word is spoken with so much hate and venom, that it causes Lloyd to turn and face your father. He's not even scratched, while most of the ninja are wielding wounds. "Stop poisoning my offspring!"

"WHY CAN'T YOU EVEN CALL THEM YOUR KID?!" Lloyd screams at him. "YOU'RE HURTING THEM AND TREATING THEM LIKE A LAB RAT!! THEY'RE YOUR CHILD, NOT SOME EXPENDABLE TOY!!"

His faces twists into one of rage. "I'll kill you for that!"

He disappears, and Lloyd can do nothing but prepare for impact. Instead, there's a loud roar; carrying the weight of protectiveness, might, and anger. When he opens his eyes, in front of him is a large, fluffy paw, and the metal bar is deep in your flesh. You do not scream this time; you will not show weakness, and you will not back down anymore.

Teeth and jaws strong enough to break anything; the chains around your body are bitten off, and the one around your neck is pulled off by a single jerk of your head. You grab the metal pole and shake it around like a gigantic, house-sized dog until your father is flung off of it and into a wall. Despite everything you'd gone through, the adrenaline makes you faster, stronger, and tankier than your father.

"(Y/N), it's me. Your dear old dad. Don't make me hurt you, do you think I like doing that? I do it when you make mistakes, like the one you're making right now." He is cautious with his words. You let out a warning growl, and bite the pole in half. "We're almost done. Just a little-"

You're tired of it, tired of the experiments, tired of him. You bat him across the room again, then catch up before he can recover. Grabbing him by the leg, you shake him around, faster and rougher until your teeth go through him, and he loses it.

No one on the team wants to watch as you tear the man to shreds, and they plug their ears to block out his agonized cries. Everyone is scared of you now, especially as you move so fast that it looks like you teleport behind Lloyd. "Run!" They yell to him, "Lloyd, get out of there!"

They don't know how to calm you down, nor get you to stop, so they try to flee and wait it out instead. But Lloyd needs closure; answers. Your breath is warm as you snort into his hair, waiting for any sign to attack him too. He won't give you any. "(Y/N), it's me, Lloyd. You remember me, don't you?" You don't look so angry, but you're still uneasy.

"What are you doing?!" The shouts from his team make you snap your head over to him.

"I can get through to them!" He remembers the text you sent him, probably the last thing you could say before you were turned into...this.

Cautiously, he holds a hand out to your head, and you sniff it. You don't let him touch you, though. Hey, Lloyd, I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this. I still love you. He smiles, "yeah, I'm doing better. I love you, too."

Like a flipped switch, the transformation is instant. Your stance becomes relaxed, and your face becomes peaceful. "Ruh...rof..."

He chuckles, "come on, you can let go now. You can't talk to me in this form."

Your fur begins to glow a bright blue color, then disintegrates into a mist that covers the room. Slowly and one by one, the ninjas breathe in the mist, regaining their memories. By the time it's all over, and the mist dissipates; all that's left is you, curled up on the floor; covered in cuts, scars, and bruises.

Lloyd blinks a few times, along with the others as they groan and try to recall what just happened.

Nya shrieks excitedly, "my powers, they're back! I got them because (Y/N) helped me discover them..."

Cole grins, "I got my earth punches back; I remember it was because (Y/N) gave me the courage to..." he trails off, perking up.

Lloyd knows why, whipping around to see your still body. "(Y/N)!!" He shouts, stumbling over his own feet to get to you. "Hey, honey, wake up, wake up, it's me, I remember now," he begins sobbing, lightly smacking your cheek as he holds your head in his lap, "come on, I love you, I love you," he gasps and screams in relief when you wave away his hand, mumbling with exhaustion. Hugging you tightly, he kisses your face all over, rocking back and forth with you in his arms. "I'm so sorry, I know you told me about my phone and contacts, but actually, it was Zane who-..." he cuts himself off as he hears your soft whimpering. "(Y/N)?"

"I'm a monster." You wail, "I don't deserve to be rescued, I killed someone. I lost control. No one could love-"

He interrupts your rambling with a passionate kiss, "it's okay. I still love you, I love you no matter what. What you did to your father was justified; he was using you, hurting you, abusing you, and I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner. All that matters now is that you're alive. We're going to be okay."

Your breaths are raspy, and you're still bleeding on your left forearm. "I suggest we take (Y/N) to the hospital, they've lost a lot of blood."

"Yeah," Lloyd sniffles; he didn't even realize he was crying happy tears, he was just so glad to have you back. "Yeah, yeah, let's do that." You try to stand, but he picks you up, "I've got you, (Y/N). You don't have to worry about a thing. I'm going to take you to the hospital. You're going to heal, and I'm never going to let you go again."

"...Lloyd?" You ask, and he acknowledges you with a hum, "I'm sorry for breaking my promise."

He laughs it off weakly. "You tried your hardest, and I'm still proud of you. I love you, so much."

You smile with him, eyes tired. "I love you too, I love you. I love you..." You were finally safe again.

#ahaha... :)#I finished it lmao #idk for once I don't have extra words...huh.#ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd x reader #blood #death #gore #injury #scars #trauma #abuse #oneshot

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doof-doofblog · 4 years

Text

"I'm Going To Plead Guilty!"

Friday 9th October 2020

Hello again everyone! Hope you're all keeping okay. Finally I'll be getting all up to date and writing about Friday's episode today. I'm not going to keep you all hanging, let's jump straight to it! After the events on what happened the previous day, Whitney is stood in the Courtroom alone, after how Gray acted in court, she can't seem to get it out of her mind. As Sonia joins her, she worries that Gray could be having some kind of mental breakdown. Sonia instructs her not to think about Gray, today is about her and it's her time to have her say! But has the damage already been done?!

At home, Gray is sat on the stairs, clinging to their stair banister, as Keegan is banging on his front door, telling him that the family need to see him to make sure he's okay. He did a disappearing act at his wife's funeral, surely the Taylor family are going to realise that something isn't right with Gray. He is struggling more now than before. At the Minute Mart, Billy is doing everything he can to try and cheer Karen up, he suggests taking her away from the Square just for the day, but Karen is insistent she needs to be around for Mack and Mia. She is clearly still grieving for her daughter but I think most importantly, she's feeling the need to perhaps talk to Gray, she wants an explanation as to why he missed his wife's funeral! As she leaves the shop, Honey praises Billy for trying to do the right thing. She realises it was him who got Mitch and Karen talking again. This little moment between Honey and Billy was really pretty cute, they're a bit like Kat and Alfie aren't they? I truly believe that Honey and Billy belong together! Don't you guys agree? I do kind of sense there is something still there between the two.

At the Carter household, Mick is looking over paperwork for his day in court. Linda joins him and asks if he's okay. Do any of you guys feel that their marriage is currently on the rocks right now? They're not talking to one another, they're keeping secrets from each other and the way they're speaking to each other isn't really very nice. I think it's been a while since Mick called Linda '"L"? It's also been a long time since either of them of showed the other any affection. Mick informs his wife that he's contemplating telling the truth about what he saw the night Leo died. But Linda is quick to tell him not to! She worries that if he does he'll be sent down for perverting the course of justice! She tells him he doesn't have a choice other than sticking to what he said in his statement, Mick then drops the line "So you're the only one who gets to tell the truth?" - is he making a dig at his wife for coming clean about the kiss she had with Max?! But little does he know that she's also not informing him about the big sip of alcohol she had the other night!

Meanwhile at the Taylor household, Karen is still grief stricken as she unloads her grocery shopping, both Mitch and Keegan are there as she rants about Gray not being there for Chantelle, she can't understand why he would leave her on the day of her own funeral. Mitch tries to reassure his ex that no matter what happens he will always be there to support her. But Karen can't take it anymore, after she almost kissed Mitch she's been feeling worse. As soon as Mitch tries to comfort her, she snaps! She tells him that even though they both love Chantelle, that's as far as things will go between them. She informs him that she is with Billy now and she loves him and the only way she'll be able to move forward is if he moves out. Mitch is clearly saddened by this as it's clear he was wanting things to be move forward with Karen, he was hoping of possibly rekindling their relationship?

At the Slaters, Kat and Jean are literally scrounging their house to find some money to pay Suki. Stacey says she'll be able to flog all her designer gear online and pay the rent that way, but Jean informs her that she's given the majority of it back to Ruby, seeing as it was bought with her money. Stacey is furious with her Mother for going behind her back, just as voices are about to be raised, Kush walks in. Jean informs him that if they don't come up with rent soon, they will all be living on the streets, Kush reassures her and tells her not to worry. It's then he pulls out from behind his back a massive wad of cash. Kat and Stacey are visibly happy to see him with the amount of money he's holding, but Jean looks just a little suspicious. Where did he get that amount of money from?! Is Kush hiding something?

Back at court, Whitney is finally having her say! The judge asks the question whether her relationship with Leo was a serious one, he also states the fact that she has had many men in her life. Whitney does as Sonia says and stands up for herself ... Can I just say how brilliant she was at this part?! I love how cocky she was saying that the main reason she was there is because Leo pulled a knife out on her, but if they want to know about her past relationships she'll be happy to tell them. She goes on to inform them about both Lee and Callum and she confirms that she is still friends with them to this day, regardless of their relationships falling apart. She makes the perfect point that if she is guilty of anything is for her taste in men!

Meanwhile, Habiba is still eager to get Jags out of prison. She walks up to the station with a huge protest board, reading "Free The Jaguar". As she arrives, we can already see that Jags is sat in a police car, ready to be sent away after confessing to the crime. Habiba rushes to her boyfriends aid and pleads to him to tell the truth, she asks him to look her in the eyes if he did attack Martin, obviously he can't do that, he looks down towards his feet. She pleads to the police officer to let her have one last word with her boyfriend before he's taken away. She rushes back to the window and tells him that he has to tell the truth, otherwise, how are they going to be able to get married? Jags looks through the window in confusion, it's then she pulls out a ring and purposes to her boyfriend. But he knows he can't, he doesn't respond and Habiba is left heartbroken as the car drives away.

Finally, Mick has arrived in court is about to have his say to defend Whitney! It's clear that Mick is feeling very nervous already - realising that he's having to lie in court. This scene was also a brilliant one, I don't really know how to explain it but I think it was just so clever! As Mick is being asked very difficult questions about his relationship with Whitney and about what happened the night Leo died, Mick is quite clearly shaken, his breath his raspy. To me, it looks as if he's about to have another panic attack. Everything Mick is hearing goes all fuzzy, the room goes blurry and he can barely breathe. He tries to loosen his tie, suddenly he collapses to the floor and Whitney and Sonia are left in shock!

Iqra finally catches up with her sister, after her failed attempt to get Jags to admit the truth. Habiba is looking saddened as she asks her whether she knows anyone who would like an engagement ring, as Jags didn't appear to want it. Iqra is surprised to hear that her sister popped the question. Ash happens to overhear the conversation and she gives her apologies to Habiba. She then tells both the girls that she's convinced that the only reason Jags won't say he's innocent is because he's got himself involved with some really heavy serious criminals. But then, I think Ash slips up a little - she reassures her that that isn't the case, as she says this both Iqra and Habiba look at her, and it clicks to Habiba that Ash knows something! She demands Ash to tell them what she knows, but she's quick to defend her family. Habiba is angry as she leaves the room and Iqra explains to her girlfriend that her sister is just upset and that she believes her. Ash breathes a sigh of relief. I think the Panesar family are going to be really careful what they say around Habiba now ... or should Habiba be the one who needs to be careful? If Suki finds out that Habiba is trying to find the truth, she'll surely act to make sure she doesn't uncover it!

At the Vic, Whitney and Sonia are informing Sharon about what happened to Mick at Court. Suddenly, Linda enters asking Whitney where Mick has go to, she also asks her how he got on in Court. Whitney informs Linda that Mick didn't say anything - but as she's about to explain as to why - Linda interrupts her, saying how Mick had been stressed and worried about going to Court and everything. Suddenly, Sharon drops her foot in it and asks whether Mick is out of hospital, Linda looks confused and looks to both Whitney and Sonia. Sonia then informs her that he collapsed with a panic attack whilst on the stand, the fact that the judge gave him a tough time and questioned him about his previous fling with Whitney. Linda dashes off to find her husband. Whitney then pulls out her phone to make a phone, whoever it is she's speaking to, she informs them it's urgent. As she leaves the Vic, Suki and Vinny can be seen sat having a drink together, Suki watches in disgust as Whitney leaves the pub and makes the nasty comment that she should be the one in prison. Suddenly, Kush makes himself known, he throws the rent money on the table in front of them saying he'll give the rest to them later, as he turns away we can see him playing poker on his phone. Is this going to be a new storyline for Kush now? In recent episodes we've heard the odd mention of him and Martin playing online poker and honestly - I didn't think much of it at first, but now it seems to be becoming a big part of Kush's life. Is that how he managed to get the rent money for Suki? Is Kush going to become a gambling addict? If so, I think it would be a very interesting story, plus to someone who's so level-headed. Kush is a character who cares about his family very much, I don't think he's ever put a foot wrong - other than perhaps sleeping with his best friend's wife - but I don't think we've seen a gambling addiction for a very long time. I think it would be a brilliant storyline, however a very distressing one - what do you guys think?

Back at home, Linda is on the phone to the hospital, frantic to find out information about her husband. But then Mick finally makes himself home, Linda is clearly relieved to see him. This conversation is another interesting one, he looks like he's in a world of his own as he speaks to his wife. He informs her that he was going to tell them truth before he had his panic attack. Linda informs him that she's been told about what happened in Court, what they questioned him about. It's then Mick starts to say that it was all his fault, it shouldn't have happened, he should've stopped it! Part of me is thinking that he's talking about Frankie. Is Frankie what's on his mind right now? Linda obviously seems to think that he's talking about Whitney, she assures him that he's been forgiven and everything in the past doesn't matter to them now. But is that really the case? It's still going to be a huge shock when Linda finds out about Frankie! I don't know about you guys, but I'm really looking forward to that secret coming out!

The final scene of the episode, Whitney and Sonia have met up with her solicitor? I'm guessing it's her solicitor anyway? Whitney has called them together wanting to know what her chances are, but it looks as if her mind has already been made up. She knows that she's not going to get away with it, even by the look of the jury, she knows she's going to be sent to prison. Sonia tells her to stay strong, stay positive and fight, but has Whitney had enough? Does she know it'll be pointless as she believes she'll be going to prison anyway? She takes a deep breath and reveals to Sonia that she's going to plead guilty to the murder of Leo!

There are so many things happening in the soap right now, and there so many twists and turns coming. I believe there are many ways in which all the story-lines could go. I'm sorry if this blog is a little boring, I'm trying to make sure I mention/highlight I feel which are the important parts of the episode. I hope you'll all enjoy reading, if you have any ideas on how I can make this blog a little better, please don't hesitate to throw me some ideas. I'd love to hear what you guys think! Anyway, thank you all for reading. I hope you all enjoy your weekend. I'll be back on Monday evening with the start of a whole new week! Have a brilliant weekend everyone and I'll be back very soon xXx

#eastenders #whitneydean #soniafowler #mickcarter #lindacarter #grayatkins #mitchbaker #karentaylor #suki panesar #jags panesar #habibaahmed #iqraahmed #ashpanesar #jeanslater #staceyslater #kushkazemi #frankielewis #billymitchell #honeymitchell

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timelessbian · 4 years

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hi it me again. IVE SAW AOTW. Physically I'm like. Fine. Emotionally? I've been laying face down on the floor ever since. Also whY ARE YOU APOLOGISING FOR A RANT?? IT'S WHAT I WANTED >:3 God there's just. So much to say about this ep!! I don't even have the WORDS, words reduced to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. So. Thoughts?

ADHFSJDFH hi again!! sorry that it’s taken me a while to respond; i’ve been really busy with moving and everything the past few days, but i really wanted to answer this before the finale bc i have Many Fears asngjsjdjbvhdsbfvhbsa

under a cut again bc this is rambling and probably incoherent, but let’s go!!

my first thought is that i LOVED the episode. from the animation to the storytelling to the voice acting that made me cry...this was an absolute highlight of an episode. they packed SO MUCH into like 20 minutes and i have so much love for everyone who works on this show i just can’t, it’s so good!!

also i feel like i conveyed this in my last rant, but i think lilith is such a well-written character, and not to be That Bitch, but the fact that the majority of the fandom really just full on lost their minds on her is literally kind of hilarious. like...i am a female villain stan first and a human second. i am simply vibing ashvhbdfhvbhdb.

i feel like a lot of people have said this better than i could at this point, but i think there’s be a redemption arc coming. most of eda and lilith’s interactions prior to 1x18 really played up the love that still exists beneath the tension. the sisters still clearly love each other, but obviously so much has happened between them that they could never have had any kind of true resolution without the secret of the curse coming out. lilith’s been carrying her guilt for years and at least with it out in the open, they can maybe start to reconcile. (obviously this would need to be a very long process, and even if lilith is working hard for it, eda (and luz!) aren’t under any obligation to forgive her for anything) (also full disclosure: i’m a lil bit biased on the sister thing bc my current original project has a sister set in a similar situation with similar vibes to lilith and eda (coincidentally, i swear!), and i know i’m writing them a fitting reconciliation, so i’m hoping the show will give me the same lol)

also, i know this is something i covered in my last rant, but there is clearly SO MUCH MORE to lilith’s story. she clearly feels guilty and genuinely seems to want to try to help eda, but i think she’s been so completely under the emperor’s thumb for so long that it’s going to take a major betrayal by him to get her to realize just how far she’s gone. again, this isn’t excusing anything she’s done, but i think that s2 could really delve into the relationship between the sisters more (which could play well with an arc in which amity has to reconcile with the reality of the emperor’s coven given that lilith is her mentor). what was the final straw that split the sisters? what was their relationship really like before the curse?? can we get lilith eventually coming around to be the cool goth aunt of the owl fam??? @ dana terrace i want answers!!!

as for my thoughts moving into the finale, i’m predicting that lilith is going to realize that the emperor has been lying to her the whole time, and that she’ll make some kind of big sacrifice so that eda and luz can escape, whether it’s her position or her magic (or her life, but i really don’t think they’re going to go that way) and she’s going to have to figure out who she is without the emperor controlling her. (okay, random thought that i literally JUST had typing this out: what if she loses her magic and has to start learning with glyphs like luz or something like that?? i have 0 evidence to support that, but it’s just a thought i guess)

also, i don’t really have thoughts about this stuff, but i’m a fan of the ‘lilith is also cursed’ theory, even if it’s just a side effect of casting such a powerful curse or something like that. i’m not into the idea of belos being their dad (i’m still lukewarm on him being related to luz though. if the whole ‘camilia is azura’ theory pans out, maybe he’s camilia’s father and luz’s grandfather or something? idk, but i’m interested in how it’ll play out! i don’t think belos will be dying in this ep, so i think there’ll be a lot to unpack there next season. also just everything related to the palismen, and in particular owlbert vs lilith’s raven. give me more palisman lore immediately!!

really the tl;dr of it all is that i know hating lilith is the popular opinion rn but ummm....evil raven lady go brrr you know? i am TERRIFIED for the finale, but i’m also so beyond excited for it because i know even if it makes me cry (again) it’ll be well worth it, and i hope that the hiatus before s2 isn’t too long because i don’t know what i’ll do with myself lmao. (i mean, i do have a half-finished angst fic that i’m holding to finish until after the ep just in case, but i’m just gonna be vibing until the new season ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so yeah, those are my thoughts as they stand right now. thank you so much for indulging me!! my roommate whomst does not watch the show is probably sick of hearing about it by now, so i love having an outlet to scream lmao. i don’t know when you’re reading this, but as of writing this, it’s only about 2 hours until the finale drops online, so i am Afraid and i’ll probably be face down on the floor immediately after i finish it. feel free to come back and scream after the finale bc i’m already sure i’ll be screaming!! anyway, luv you anon, and i suppose i’ll see you on the other side sbhbvdbavjs <33

#i literally cannot believe i am this on edge for a finale like i have predictions but idk they could pull the rug out from under me #less than 2 hours i'm bracing myself lmao #anyway thank you for coming back anon ilysm and i'm always down to scream about toh let's go!!#toh #asks #anon

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