#i have met all of two irl people that were the exception to this. so... am i lying to them basically

[nightgoodomens]

Here is something funny - every single good omens fan I've met IRL with no exception (whether they were already my friend or we met because of the show) is convinced MS & DT are romantically involved in some way. It's funny because people always see it but you will rarely catch them saying anything publicly online. Which is not a bad thing, obviously, but it makes me think that people who get angry and lash out at people who speculate about it saying that it makes no sense either 1. live in a different reality or 2. are people who also see it and may talk to their friends irl about it but also want to seem morally right online ("blabla you're intruding in their lives this is disrespectful") or 3. are people who see it but are angry about it because for some reason it destroys their fantasies with the married couples

I think it’s basically all three.

I have never before seen two men who were so obviously in love with each other. In this sincere, pure love. It’s just so precious.

David Michael

Them

Still the same look

So much love ❤️

#NightGoodOmens talks Michael and David

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for how i played DnD?

I will try to keep this short but give enough info. At the time of the incident this past year, I was 19. I had made a few friends at uni. Someone brought up Dungeons and Dragons and as a group we decided to try it. There were 5 people playing as characters, including me, and one Dungeon Master (DM). The DM is 24, and the other people ranged 19-22.

Maybe it is just who I played with before, but it had always been stressed to me to do actions my character would do. Follow the actions the character would follow. For example, I played in a campaign with someone who in real life is the sweetest, kindest person, but their character was very mean and vengeful. It was fun! They would want to heal someone, but knew it was out of character so decided to NOT do that, and it was realistic for the campaign.

THAT is how I was taught. That is how I've always played. So it comes time for the first session with the uni group. It was a one-shot to learn how to play for the two people who hadn't played before. It was stated that this was solely to learn mechanics, the characters we were would not be used for the actual campaign. Cool!

Well, in this one-shot I had a character who was very self centered. The type to put themselves over the health of the rest of the group. I had never played that before and wanted to try it. It came to a fight and I was wounded and so was another player. This player hadn't played before and chose to run away and abandon the group. I chose to do the same thing because it was in Character. However, I happened to have the one item that could have stopped the cult from taking over and essentially starting the apocalypse. Thus, because I ran, it doomed everyone else.

It didn't seem anyone minded at the time, it was to learn after all. The DM mentioned then that it is a shitty move to choose to run, and you should fight regardless of if you die. I thought that was a stupid thought, why fight a losing battle, but whatever.

We ran through our first campaign that was over a month long. We all died but had a lot of fun. I then turned 20 and had a flare up (I have a chronic illness), I told them they could do a campaign and I would join in once better. The DM didn't want that because I would be joining partway and ruin the integrity. So they decided to postpone.

I got better, all good. I was sick and hospitalized for a week, then a week after I recovered. So it was 2 weeks. We met weekly, so it was only 2 weeks that we were out. Prior to this time we all met on Mondays, but after this i would have to go to therapy on Mondays so DM decided to switch the days to Thursdays which everyone could also do.

We started a new campaign and me and another player decided our characters would be intertwined. They played a character who had been royal and after the usurpation of their throne, they were on the run. I played the loyal knight who would defend them til my death. We made it VERY evident that I would protect them til my death, with no hesitation, and would defend them from any action that could cause them harm.

A fight broke out in our party and the hothead started coming after the exroyal. In character, I put myself in between the two and verbally told them to stop or else I would make them stop. Hothead character escalated and pushed mine and then threw something at the exroyal. Of course, irl we all were laughing and having fun, except the DM. The DM was trying to get everyone back on course.

Now, I could have decided to ignore this and go towards the obvious direction the DM was trying to steer us. But my character would NEVER have let a slight like that occur. So I didnt. My goal was to simply slash at the hothead, but got a nat 20. The DM CHOSE that I killed the hothead. That isnt what I wanted but I went with it and had the great one line of "take this as a warning for the rest of you".

The person who played the hothead was dying of laughter and didn't seem upset, they had a second character ready. Well, at the end of the session the DM asked me to stay behind. They told me that I was a terrible player and that every session thus far, I played the character instead of doing things that would help the newbies. I was also apparently annoying and "you shouldn't turn against those in your party". I told the DM I'm sorry they felt that way, but in my mind it wasn't intentional to kill the dude I simply wanted to like give him a warning. The DM said I was teaching the others bad morale and cooperation, and brought up me running during the oneshot and how I doomed everyone else and it was shitty. I felt bad apologized and said I would think about what they said and then thanked them (that's the customer service representative in me lol).

Well the next week was the week prior to our break. I asked what time we were meeting and was told we weren't meeting this week by the DM. Okay that works. Well, turns out they DID meet. I found out after exroyal messaged me and asked if I felt better and what they can do for me. Apparently, DM told everyone I was having a flare up, when I wasnt. I am not a confrontational person, but I texted DM saying I didn't appreciate that they lied and DM replied saying that it was my fault for playing DND the way I did.

As a few of them messaged me individually, so I texted all the members individually and told them I was not sick and stated that DM had told me there wasn't a session.

Well, we decided to meet at my place and not tell DM. We didn't play DND but a board game. DM found out and started calling me an asshole and how they've been accommodating for me with my illness and the sessions, which they have. DM says they made one mistake and am punishing them for it. I have a lot of anxiety and do feel bad now... AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Who is Luzu?

Luzu was just announced as a QSMP member, and since he's a very important character in Karmaland and a VERY important person to Quackity's character, here's a quick rundown of Luzu and his lore for folks who aren't familiar with him:

Luzu is played by LuzuVlogs, a Spanish Twitch streamer who's good friends with Quackity!

IRL, they're such good friends that Luzu once accidentally called his real life son "Quackity"

Luzu is bilingual and can speak English and Spanish.

Luzu's character used to be a very kind, friendly, and loving man who helped everyone

HOWEVER, during Karmaland 4 (the season before Quackity joined) when he campaigned to be mayor of Karmaland, he was betrayed and mocked by his friends and the person he loved (who then ran off with someone else)

Luzu before the elections vs. after the elections

These two animatics sum up his K4 lore pretty well if you want an even shorter TLDR: Lemon Boy, Karma (an animatic approved by Luzu himself)

As a result, Luzu is a very vengeful, distrustful, and all around tragic character

Luzu canonically has an evil side, and he made a deal with "dark gods" in the past to take revenge on the people who've wronged him.

Despite all his past heartbreak and lingering anger, he immediately took a liking to Quackity when they first met.

Luzu and Quackity's Karmaland characters are parallels to each other

Luzu and Quackity were canonically in love with each other, but they were too emotionally constipated to confess their feelings despite their many, many, many romantic and borderline sexual shenanigans.

Luzu warned Quackity not to trust anyone in Karmaland except for him. But despite Luzu's deep mistrust of other people, he trusted Quackity immediately.

Luzu is a very possessive man, and very protective of Quackity.

He calls Quackity "Quacks" (both in and out of character)

He and Rubius have a long-standing rivalry, and they normally don't get along very well.

Luzu and Quackity had 4 (adopted) kids together.

When campaigning for mayor of Karmaland, Quackity asked everyone what they wanted most, and Luzu's response was, "I want you to be happy, Quackity."

HOWEVER, the day of the election, Luzu joined as an opposing candidate at the last second and stole the election from Quackity, fearing that the position in office might leave Quackity with the same trauma he had in a previous life (a life which he can only half-remember).

Luzu says everything he did, he did to protect Quackity.

TLDR: Luzu trauma-projected onto Quackity, who then started a revolution that nearly destroyed Karmaland in retaliation.

For a good TLDR of the revolution arc, “I Can’t Decide” is a good one to watch.

Even though he was furious with Luzu, Quackity told Rubius not to kill him. He’s referred to Luzu as “My 100%”, and “the best person I knew in Karmaland”, and even expressed his gratitude that Luzu was always so kind to him to Luzu himself, despite the war and despite knowing one of them would probably have to kill the other to end it.

Luzu said the song that best fits his character during the revolution arc is Bloody Mary by Lady Gaga.

Edit: This isn’t about the character, but I just saw what Luzu said in response to people asking him if he knew about the invitation:

Luzu: A mi Quackity me invitó desde hace bastante, me dijo si quería participar, así que llevo tiempo calladito, calladito, para no spoilear nada, aunque yo soy invitado no sé nada jaja, lo lleva todo Quackity, así que veremos con qué nos sorprende nuestro querido Quacks.

Translation: My Quackity invited me a long time ago, he asked me if I wanted to participate, so I've been quiet for a while, so as not to spoil anything, although I'm invited I don't know anything haha, Quackity takes everything, so we'll see what our beloved Quacks surprises us with.

Other info posts:

Who is Spreen? | Who is Sapo Peta? | Who is Vegetta?

#Luzu #Quackity #QSMP #Luckity #Karmaland #karmaland talk #OK LISTEN REALISTICALLY I KNOW LUZU WAS GONNA BE INVITED #BUT IT WAS SO STRESSFUL NOT KNOWING FOR SURE #It seems like my Sapo Peta post helped a lot of people so I hope this helps folks too #Also here's my hot take #I know everyone compares Luzu to Wilbur but they're not alike at all #Luzu and Quackity are the two most similar characters #Wilbur and Quackity are each other's yin and yangs #but Luzu and Quackity are a mirror #qsmp talk #QSMP info

[kwanisms]

Under the Cherry Tree — c.san

❀ ateez masterlist ❀

➮ bff!San × fem!Reader wc: 2.1k summary: Y/N has something important to tell her best friend San and asks him to meet her at their favorite cherry tree on campus. genres/themes/au: fluff; friends to lovers; non idol au, college au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, slightly suggestive content, mention of alcohol consumption

permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby @thesolarplanetarysystem @salty-for-suga @devilsmatches @dmnspiit @simeonswhore @yangracha @seonghwalover @atinypurr @aikyubi @labyrinthonmymind @bintificreads @toxic-babexe

ateez taglist: @2hodefender @cixrosie @pyeonghongrie-main @flowerboykun @sanjoongie @anyamaris @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @mlysalt @cinnamoon-belle @briannabk22 @is4b3ll3s @hyukssunflower @vampiirose @0325tiny @ateezstanforever @justiny @jeongwangjessmina @lacie220900 @aaaaajonghooooo @dementedaly

join my taglists! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED.

a/n: part of the 2023 Meet Me Under the Cherry Tree event for @cultofdionysusnet. I'm sorry this is so late. I meant to have this done and up way before the deadline for this event but other events wnd collabs got in the way and took up more of my time. Writing this one was easy. When the randomizer paired San with fluff, I knew I wanted him to be the reader's best friend. After that, it practically wrote itself lol thank you for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner and line breaks made by me. Creator reblog banner template by @cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All my writings are ©️ kwanisms.

For most people, cherry blossoms signify the start of something new.

New beginnings.

For you, cherry blossoms have always made you think of your best friend.

Choi San had come into your life when you least expected it.

He’d been a stranger you ran into on the playground and again on the first day of junior high. He’d been an awkward, thin, shy, and quiet boy and to an extent, he still was.

Well, except for the thin part.

Late into senior high, San had filled out, spending more time at the gym than at home reading or playing video games with you. Not that you were complaining. San used his new found strength to keep unwanted attention off you.

Of course, it also meant he had a gaggle of giggling girls following him, constantly asking him out and to be their boyfriend. San never took any of it seriously. Always preferring to spend his free time either in the gym or with you, studying so you both could attend college together.

When graduation came, you were ecstatic to finally be free from the confines of high school and onto the upgrade that was higher education. Your parents hadn’t been on board with a co-ed dorm at first until San promised to keep an eye on you which was made even easier when you were assigned to the same floor but unfortunately not as roommates.

Your roommate ended up being a girl who you befriended well enough but she was no replacement for San. For you, no one could compare to your best friend. No one could ever replace him.

You soon learned that it wasn’t the case for him towards the end of your freshman year of college when San finally gave in to one of the girls in his class and agreed to go out with her.

One date turned into two and then into three and soon he was introducing you to his new girlfriend, Hanna. You tried to be happy for him, you really did. After all, college was all about new experiences, right?

That’s what you kept telling yourself as San spent more time with Hanna and less time with you. Your roommate, Bee, decided enough was enough and took you out with her one night. A very rare night out where you met the man you would both later dub as “trouble.”

Wooyoung was kind enough, albeit a bit loud and boisterous. He took an instant liking to you however he wasn’t the one who ended up turning your life upside down. That was Yeosang, Wooyoung’s best friend.

Yeosang was a lot like San in that he was quiet, a little shy, studious, loved to work out and always had a group of girls fawning over him. The only difference was where San was spending more time with Hanna, Yeosang, wanted to spend more time with you.

Winter break brought with it a visit back home where you spent a lot of time at home, seeing your family and only seeing San a couple of times. When you went back to school, it was like you and your best friend had become strangers. The movie nights you usually held in your dorm room had been replaced with date nights with Yeosang, your first official boyfriend.

The second semester brought with it Valentine’s season and with that, San got his first dose of heartbreak when Hanna broke up with him.

The night it happened, you woke up to your phone vibrating on your nightstand and that was the first time you spoke to San in months. You listened to him rant, cry, and vent until eventually you both fell asleep.

You weren’t sure how but San managed to reintegrate himself into your friend circle. He got on very well with Wooyoung surprisingly but the real issue was with Yeosang. The two, despite being so similar, did not get along at all.

You tried to keep the peace, mediating and keeping them physically separated when the circle was together. It became exhausting until you finally put your foot down, telling both of them to grow up and stop acting like babies.

San seemed to handle this as he normally would have but Yeosang didn’t handle it as well. A lot of fights were had between you and Yeosang and thus began the long, complicated on and off again relationship with him.

It was clear San didn’t like this but out of respect, he never said anything. For an entire year, Yeosang and you fought, broke up, made up, and got back together. It seemed like every two weeks, you were making up.

You’d be lying if the fights and breakups weren’t exhausting but the makeups always seemed worth it until the final explosive fight that ended things for good.

It was junior year at a house party at one of the frats. You were enjoying yourself, drinking and having a good time. You and Yeosang had just gotten back together and he promised for good this time. Your finals had gone well and you were riding on cloud nine. Nothing could have prepared you for what was to come.

Ever since your last makeup with your boyfriend, San had seemed distant and indifferent. Perhaps he was just upset that he hadn’t found anyone to occupy his free time like you had, or perhaps finals week hadn’t gone as well for him.

Whatever the case, he had been sulking all week and it was starting to get on your nerves. You had come with San and Bee and met up with Wooyoung and Yeosang and almost immediately, Yeosang had pulled you onto the dance floor.

Unbeknownst to you, San watched the two of you bitterly as he sipped on whatever punch the hosts had prepared. You weren’t sure how many cups he’d had but someone later told you about six.

When Yeo had disappeared to get drinks for the two of you, San made his move. He swooped in, pleading with you that he needed to talk to you. You could immediately tell he was drunk and had told him he needed to go home but he refused. He had to tell you something important before the moment slipped away forever.

It was then that San drunkenly blurted out that he was in love with you and had been for a while. It was the reason he and Hanna broke up. Uncertain what to say, you had told San that it wasn’t the time to discuss this but he insisted, saying he’d been in love with you since before college.

It was that moment that Yeosang overheard the conversation and decided to step in, telling San to back off. Drunk and fueled by his overconfidence, San blurted out that Yeosang was sleeping with another girl the whole time he and Y/N had been off and on again.

A scene had formed and soon it turned into a scuffle in which Wooyoung and one of the hosts who you later learned was named Changbin broke up the fight, pulling both men apart while Yeosang warned San to stay away from you.

Changbin managed to get San outside the party while Wooyoung managed to calm Yeosang down while you made your way to the bathroom, having had the drinks Yeosang got for you spilled all over you when San lunged at him.

Bee had spent part of the night helping you try to get the smell of booze out of your clothes but you knew the only way to really fix it was to go home and wash your clothes.

As you left the bathroom, you were confronted by a girl you’d seen a few times before. She confirmed San’s story that Yeosang had been sleeping around while you were off and on. She apologized, being under the impression that what you and Yeosang had was casual.

You decided to confront Yeosang and break up with him once and for all.

He put up more of a fight than you expected but when you left, pulling from his grip one last time, he seemed to get the message and let you go.

San remembered everything from that night from the fight to confessing to you. He promised that you didn’t need to reciprocate his feelings he simply wanted you to know how he felt and he wanted you to know the truth about Yeosang.

Your friend circle fell apart shortly after the party, Wooyoung being Young's friend after all. Bee stuck by your side as did San. You focused on your school, making time only for your friends between classes and studying.

It had been almost a year since the party.

You hurried down the steps, careful not to trip as you pulled out your phone and shot a quick text to your best friend.

You: the cherry blossoms are blooming

You sent the text and hurried across the lawn, ignoring the stares from your classmates as you did. Your phone vibrated in your hand and you came to a stop to read the text.

Sandwich 🥪: big deal? We see them every year Y/N

Big deal? It was a big deal! Since breaking up with Yeosang and focusing on yourself and repairing your friendship with San, you’d come to realize three things.

No matter what, your friends would always be there for you

Boys were icky and men weren’t any better

You were in love with your best friend.

You sighed heavily as you typed a quick response.

You: oh whatever sourpuss, just meet me there!

Sandwich 🥪: 🙄 aye aye captain 🫡

You pocket your phone and continued, running across the lawn huffing as you reached the top of the hill. On the other side stood the south lawn which was home to a cluster of cherry blossom trees which were in full bloom. Pinks, whites, and everything in between decorated the branches, the blossoms swaying gently in the breeze as you started down the hill.

Running downhill was much easier than uphill and you reached the cluster in record time, gazing up at the delicate flowers as you walked past many of your classmates as they took pictures of the trees and each other.

You continued walking until you reached the furthest tree. It was your favorite one. It had clearly been there longer than the others and was much larger. In fact, it was large for a cherry blossom tree to begin with. Blossom covered branches hung down, shielding the trunk from view.

Pushing one of the branches aside, your eyes widened as you took in the sight of your best friend standing under the tree, phone in his hands as he snapped a couple pictures. It only took a moment for him to notice you, quickly hiding his phone as you approached.

“You got here fast,” you said, slightly out of breath. San shrugged. “I’ve been here the whole time,” he admitted softly, pocketing his phone and moving to sit at the base of the trunk, setting his bag next to him.

You moved to sit beside him, shrugging your own bag off and setting it down before taking a seat beside him. You looked up at the blossoms blowing in the breeze, a smile on your face.

Next to you, San watched you with a fond smile. When you turned to look at him, he didn’t look away like he had over the past year. He held your gaze. “What?” you asked with a shrug. San shook his head but reached forward, picking up one of the blossoms that had fallen from the branches.

“Nothing,” he murmured, inspecting the flower before reaching up and swiftly tucking it behind your ear. Your cheeks burned as you glared up at him but he merely smiled back at you. “Pretty,” he said simply.

Your gaze softened before looking down at the ground. “Shut up,” you murmured before leaning into his side. San accepted the gesture, draping his arm over your shoulders. “You are,” he said simply. “Pretty,” he added.

“I’ve always thought so.”

Your cheeks burned even more. “So are you,” you whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear you but when he shifted to look at you with wide eyes, you knew he’d heard you. His shocked expression morphed into a smirk. “You think I’m pretty!” he teased only to stop talking when you leaned in to kiss him quickly.

“Yeah, and?” you replied, puffing your chest indignantly. “So what if I think you’re pretty? I think lots of people are pretty! I just happen to think you’re the prettiest and I’ve also always thought you were pretty and—”

Your rambling was cut short as San cupped your cheeks in his hands, pulling you into another kiss, this one much more tender and longer. When he finally pulled back he nuzzled his nose against yours.

“You think I’m prettier?” he asked, smiling when you nodded.

“Well, I think you’re the prettiest.”

#cultofdionysusnet #meetmeatthecherrytree23 #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #choi san scenarios #choi san imagines #choi san fanfic #choi san angst #choi san fluff #choi san x reader

[favouritefi]

I would be super fascinated to learn more about how Peglar's views re. If humans get to be people why can't I, affects his relationship with Bridgens - and really just about how they came to be in/navigate through that relationship. Your art is adorable and I love it doubly more so for the amount of care and consideration you have for the inner works of creating a dog/cat boy world. :)

aw thank you this au really is my brain going "crack treated seriously" and somehow making This and im glad other ppl enjoy it too. i have a lot of thoughts on this in terms of how much history to keep and how much to disregard so its under the cut:

so apparently in the book (which i have not read and do not plan to read) bridglar met on the hms beagle and as far as i can tell thats completely made up bc peglar was sailing w the east india company at the time.

then theres the show weirdness of bridgens being like in his 50s/60s when irl bridgens was in his 20s and this makes more sense bc as far as i can tell the position of steward was usually one reserved for younger men so for 50smth bridgens to be jfj's steward is a little odd and esp odd if hes a human in a position that is typically meant for cat/dogboys so my logic for this is that either 1) jfj requested bridgens to be his steward or 2) bridgens requested to be jfj's steward and either option would mean giving bridgens and jfj a slightly closer relationship than what they have in show canon which is fine that just means peglar and bridgens likely met during the first opium war but then how they met is still a mystery bc peglar would be aboard the wanderer with hodgson and bridgens would be on the cornwallis/clio with jfj so like ???

POINT BEING for all the reasons above ive handwaved away exactly how they meet but AT SOME POINT they do meet during the first opium war. peglar was the one who initiated the relationship tho the two of them did have mutual feelings for each other before committing to anything and bridgens is deffo the kinda guy who would go all "i would love you no matter what species you are" and actually mean it and peglar. ok so. i have a lot of thoughts about peglar.

so irl peglar was lashed for drunkeness and mutinous conduct while serving with the east indian company and for catboy peglar i like to imagine that travelling to places where cat/dogboys arent treated the way they are treated in england really opened his eyes and his mind to the idea of being treated like a person and this is obviously not a mindset that human officers want him to have and hence why he was lashed. he then served on the wanderer fighting against the slave trade and thats another chance to see a different type of human-to-cat/dogboy relationship even if he wouldnt have had as many opportunities to live amongst the locals as he did while with the east india company. and peglars like, smart. part of the reason why bridgens falls in love w him is bc of his intelligence and cheek and wit and peglar knows that britiannia's "civilizing mission" is bogus because while they are trying to abolish slavery on one hand they are also actively enforcing Company rule in India on the other and bc peglar has seen both sides of that he has Thoughts about it, Thoughts he didnt dare share with anyone until bridgens coaxed it out of him and to his surprise bridgens agreed with him.

bridgens, being well read and well educated, also knows that the way england treats cat/dogboys is the exception and not the rule and really like cherishes peglar and loves him like truly loves him and is thus completely aware of and careful of their uneven power dynamic here and wouldve never been the first to initiate anything for that very reason. and its not easy to navigate this forbidden relationship but peglar makes it worth it and both of them did worry that maybe this was merely a maritime romance but in the months between the war and the expedition they managed to sneak in lowkey dates on land and found that they were still very much compatible and it really makes things all the more tragic that bridgens cant afford to adopt peglar outright and ensure that henry lives out the rest of his days in peace curled up next to the fire with a good book and smiling whenever he catches john staring at him and god, they are so in love.

#purror and erebark

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi, big fan of your ace and aro art!

Genuine question here: How do you maintain a long distance relationship with your QPP (queerplatonic partner)?

Hey! Thank you so much for the kind words, that means a lot TwT

Regarding your question, apologies for the long shit incoming in advance, I'll probably share way more than what's needed, but anyway:

OK, to be honest, I should mention that I'm used to long-distance in most of the relationships in my life anyway, so that's kinda my bread and butter. I was bullied in my small town schools and later I went on to study foreign languages, so all of that created circumstances that made it natural for me to create real friendships mostly with people online or in foreign countries. I've always been more of a "next country rather than nextdoor" type of person to begin with, and my partner was no exception I guess.

We got to know each other online, so we were sort of used to the bulk of our relationship being online when we decided to be in a QPR. It was my partner's suggestion before we even got to meet IRL, and to be honest I'd never had a romantic or queerplatonic partner before and didn't fully grasp what it meant at the time, but it sounded nice, so I went for it! We met up IRL in 2018, a couple months after that (I was meeting up IRL for the first time with another friend who also happened to live in the area, in retrospect I really appreciate everyone's patience as I imposed a double visit and splitting my time in two between them TwT) and at that time it only cemented how much of a vibe it was.

After that, I was saving to visit them again in 2020, but... Y'know, the shit happened. The US (where my partner lives) enforced a travel ban on my country and several others that lasted until November 2021. It was incredibly hard during those times. We called very often, but since I'd been all riled up on the idea of hugging them again, and I was very affection-deprived because no one was allowed to see anyone or touch anyone (and that was pretty heavily monitored by cops for quite a while in my country), it wasn't enough for me to feel OK. The only way one could travel from a banned coutry to the US was to stay 14 days in a non-banned country and then travel from there – which I ended up doing in mid-2021 because I was basically going nuts. It was pretty damn expensive, but since nothing had been allowed for a while it's not like I'd spent my money on much, so I had savings, and I needed to prove myself that I could do it. We reunited IRL then for a good week. Then, because they'd fairly recently got a job (which meant more income for travel) and because US citizens WERE allowed to travel to banned countries, THEY visited me in September 2021 (and we formally promised to marry each other someday then, so even travel bans couldn't separate us in the future).

Despite all that, come late October 2021 and with no end in sight for the travel ban, I'd completely spiralled into despair over our future again. The travel ban and other restrictions made seeing each other so much harder and it was seriously taking a toll. Despite everything we'd managed that year, at that time, it felt so hard I was having serious self-endangering thoughts for the first time in my life, and I wanted to give up. That lasted about a couple days until I talked about it to them over videocall and heard their words of support and saw their face and got all angry like "fuck no, they can't take that away from me". So, because they're who they are, and because of extra support from some friends which meant a lot, despite everything, we didn't give up.

Now I'm free to travel to them again so honestly? Maintaining a long-distance relationship feels really easy right now. We text every day, videocall at least once a week and send each other care packages with gifts for our birthdays, holidays and special occasions. (Our time zone difference is 9 hours, which is convenient, cus when I wake up they're more or less about to go to bed so we can chat for a bit, when my workday is over theirs hasn't started yet, and when they're having lunch I'm having dinner, so we often share meals and watch stuff together over video calls.) We're both working adults with a stable source of income, which definitely plays into a lot, cus that means we're much more free to save up and make plans to visit each other – and by god ever since 2021 we've been making much more frequent plans, as of today we have 3 meetups more or less planned, one of them coming up this month actually, so that's pretty great^^

I do live in fear of another travel ban coming out of nowhere, so I do hope we can marry someday – though that'll be its own whole can of worms in terms of coming-out and immigration hardships, but we're determined to work through it. We're determined not to be long-distance forever. Kinda sucks that we have to go through something as amatonormative as marriage to achieve that, but also, ehh, y'know what, if that means someday I get to hang out with them in person everyday, it ain't that bad. It's a means to an end. And I guess it's a cute idea in a way.

...Welp that was way too long. tl;dr it's not easy every day. Some circumstances out of your control can really put you through the ringer sometimes. But on the flip side that means you get out of it stronger and the whole thing's kind of a virtuous circle. The more you fight for it, the more precious it is to you, and the more precious it gets to you, the more you want to fight for it. Kinda comes naturally to me at this point, so, I guess, don't make it a chore. It never felt like one to me. It's all a treasure if anything.

#alright i'll shut up #anon #long distance relationship #queerplatonic relationship #tw sui ideation #tw bullying mention

[mccnstruck]

characters - kazuha x gn!reader

warnings - none

a/n - this is my first time writing after two years, so please ignore if this is rusty! i didn’t proofread this because i was actually happy that i got something DONE so like yea, but otherwise enjoy!

streamer!kazuha when both of you are first introduced to each other during a multiplayer game. while the others were trying to find a solution to winning, you and kazuha both took your time with getting to know each other. you ignored the chat as they screamed a new ship name between both of you, and you certainly didn’t see kazuha’s stream to notice his awestruck eyes.

streamer!kazuha who first dm’ed you on instagram, and you both instantly hit it off. soon, both of you were cracking inside jokes between games, sharing new content ideas, and talking about kazuha's love for poetry. you didn’t know the way you both allowed the other’s notifications even when do not disturb was turned on, and how both of your faces lit up at the sight of a instagram dm.

streamer!kazuha who got excited when you suggested a collab stream. both of you would casually play some games on roblox, and chill with both of your streams. casual was the last thing in mind as both of you were screaming and laughing when you brutally obliterated some (approximately) 12 year old on some random superpower tycoon. at one point, you couldn’t help but laugh so hard you went silent, letting a few tears slip by. ever since then, your chat suddenly started squealing when kazuha came on stream. but what you never found out was how kazuha opened your stream when you were laughing and softly smiled, deciding that angering 12 year olds was more enjoyable with you.

streamer!kazuha who first came up with a irl vlog to explore your city. you quickly agreed, and soon your chats were filled with different hotels you could stay at, foods to try, places to visit etc. when the day finally arrived, you stood in the airport, shifting your weight from left to right in excitement and in nervousness. it’s been a few months, but this is the first time you’ve met him in person. uneasiness started to settle in your mind. do i look alright? i have all my things, right? what if he feels uncomfortable in this city?..

would he even like me? i’ve been hiding under a online personality this whole time. and what if-

you felt two taps on your shoulder and turn around to see the only and only kazuha smiling at you.

"i was wondering where were you for so long."

he giggled and your mind immediately got rid of all the intrusive thoughts before. so far he looked like he's been enjoying himself, even though he got out of a 6 hour flight. when he drags you trying to find the exit, you realize you didn't have to worry about being flawless in front of him, and you let out the first sigh of relief in a long time.

streamer!kazuha who ate the cotton candy in joy as you responded to donations and questions. it was a windy day in the city, but you or kazuha didn't mind, in fact enjoying the strong breeze. after running around and trying new places, it was a nice place to relax-

"when are you and kazuha going to confess??? literally everyone sees the heart eyes you make at each other except for YOU TWO??"

ah, it wasnt as peaceful as you thought.

the question made way for another episode of chat freaking out again, and both you and kazuha's faces to go red. you look at each other and back to the camera, too shocked and embarrassed on what to say.

"well um, that was sudden. uh,,,"

you look over back to kazuha, and judging on his eyes you knew he was about to do something mischevious. what you didnt expect...

was a confession.

"maybe i might confess today after stream. who knows?"

you turn around in shock and see kazuha grinning at you.

"..what?"

he looks back at you and silently whispers," after stream," before walking away, leaving you in shock in front of thousands of people.

streamer!kazuha who patiently waits for you on his hotel bed as you read the final donations and wave goodbye to the stream. when you made sure the stream was over, you look over to see him already looking at you.

"kazuha..."

"i think you want me to explain what i said at the cotton candy store, did you?"

you hesitantly nodded, sitting on the other side of the bed. kazuha sighed before he spoke.

"i think it's pretty self-explanatory, uh," scratching his neck before continuing, "i like you. and according to both of our chats you like me as well."

when he turns to look at you, you look at him as if he were the answer to the meaning of life. a tint of pink appears on his cheek, and he keeps himself from looking away.

“what…what are you staring at?”

a pause. “say it again.”

he tilts his head in confusion. “say what again?”

“what you just said right now.”

“i like you and you like me back.”

“the first part of the sentence.”

“i like you.”

you face visibly brightens. “say that again.”

kazuha laughed, and you swear if he was your alarm, you’d wake up 10 minutes before just to hear it in the morning.

kazuha leaned back on the bed. “im pretty sure you’re forgetting the part where you liked me back, didn’t you?”

“that can wait, you said you liked me?” you reply with a grin.

he sits back up, and faced towards you, giving you the same grin. “isn’t this supposed to be a mutual confession?”

but before you could think of a cheeky response, he lifted his hand and gently cupped your jaw. all thoughts in your head were now non-existent, and you could only think about how close you both were and how his lips were so close to yours. the atmosphere in the room had changed, and whatever was about to be said before was completely out of mind now.

kazuha thumb moved closer and closer to your lips, and he softly spoke. “you would be ok with this..right?”

you would’ve responded, but the way he asked beforehand and the sudden closeness of his lips had you lean in. his arms held onto you yours, and somehow pulled you in closer than you were before. you felt like liquid, melting under his touch, and his lips on yours and his hands in your hair made you shiver. you felt his smile, and as soon as it started he broke the kiss. the air was hot but you both could only stare each other as you tried to gain your breath.

“are..are you alright?”

you softly laughed. “i’m fine. just…need to catch my breath.”

he pressed his forehead onto yours, his arms intertwined into yours. as the sun made way for the moon and you both watched the window in peace, you’ve never felt more thankful to be introduced to him.

reposting or plagiarizing of my works is not allowed under any circumstances.

#📝 —writing #kazuha *heart eyes* #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #kazuha #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you

[fr0gleggs]

Hello! Yes fitpac are a genuine gay minecraft couple! Even better it was a slow burn. And when i mean slow burn i mean they met in april and got together in january.

Q!pac is interesting because he canonically crushed on people before q!fit (most of which all were threatening in some way which isnt important rn) and is the more emotionally open out of the two

Meanwhile, q!fit went through a whole denial arc where he first just called them “really close friends” and then “roomates” despite the fact they never lived together. This continued for a long while until his son ramon, got him to confess a. That he prefered men to women, and b. That he liked q!pac.

This whole denial arc was in part because q!fit is bad with emotions after spending many years in 2b2t where trusting someone is more likely than not to end with you getting stabbed in the back as well as because he was sent to the qsmp on a mission that if he failed could potentially end with everyone he cares about getting hurt.

Other fun facts:

- they’ve not had their first kiss or said “i love you” to each other yet but it’s been implied that they’ve slept with each other??

-q!pac has a chocolate bar that q!fit gave him for valentines day that he was able to enchant to be an infinite food resource

-q!fit’s favorite flowers are any that q!pac gives him except for dandelions because those are weeds

- while playing kiss mary kill, q!pac said he would kiss mary and kill q!fit to which q!fit replied that he likes his men dangerous

-their close friend q!tubbo (who is queer irl) decided to become violently homophobic after the two got together even going as far as to try to ruin their first date by photoshopping q!pac to have gone on a date with someone else

Hope this helps!

Thank you so much!!! It really does. Also side note all of this is so funny to me because I have been into fit’s 2B2T content for YEARS and he’s just. Roleplaying a gay man on the side ig. Wonderful.

[midnightfire830]

Granny being the Bbro’s Grandmother Part 2 BC IRL things

So weeks after Granny was walking through the park and she heard voices behind a bunch of bushes. Pretty familiar voices. She found the two boys setting up a mini camp of sorts to spend the night in the park. She IMMEDIATLY grabbed them by the ear (and tail in Bendy’s case tho she was gentle) and pulled them into her flat. Washed their clothes, gave them a bath, cooked up some dinner and let them sleep on her couch.

And like Clock work at around 4 or 5 AM the two woke up, changed into their old clothes, cleaned up and left whatever money they had on them and got ready to run away. Except THIS TIME Granny was ready.

As they were about to unlock the front door a light turned on next to a chair in the living room. In the chair, of course, granny was sitting giving them a very unimpressed look. “Now where would two young boys be going at a time like this? Hmm?” The woman stayed up ALL NIGHT to make sure the two didn’t leave again without a trace. She forced them back to bed and the next morning made them a HUGE breakfast.

She had gotten a foster license from the state after the first night she met them in case she ever ran into them again. When she found them the second time, while they were eating dinner, she contacted some people to arrange so she’d be able to keep those two boys under her care. So she ended up fostering a wolf pup and a demon child.

She moved into a larger apartment in her complex (I don’t know about landlady’s and how that works but I assume thats ok?). She got three bedrooms so the two of them would have their own rooms. But Bendy and Boris insisted that they share a room so the extra room became a storage room.

That is until Granny noticed the two’s love for music. Boris pretty much picking up any instruments he could find. He’d save up all his allowance to buy used second hand instruments from antique and pawn shops. He’d even house/pet/babysit for the people who lived in the apartment complex for a bit of extra cash.

Bendy, meanwhile, found a love for guitar. Both acoustic and electric. And he liked using tech and music programs to make songs. He was fascinated with the ability to change sounds and turn it into music and notes and stuff (things that artists like Charlie Puth does with his music) He’d save his money to buy equipment like mics, amps, and a good computer to make music with.

So in terms of making music Bendy and Boris would arguable contribute the most to making the songs. Boris actually making the music, and Bendy helping with recording and audio editing. Cup and Mugs help in their own ways of course.

So, with all the instruments and tech the two were getting they turned the storage room into a music room for the two boys for them to store instruments, practice, make songs, and record.

Granny would help to chip in on paying for their things of course. She 100% supports their hobbies and interests and when they told her they wanted to start a band she was absolutely behind them and helping the best she could along the way.

So the Bbro’s childhood goes pretty peacefully up until high school.

And that’s a whole DIFFERENT can of worms.

@sirensea14

#babtqftim #bendy and boris in the inky mystery #babitim #bendy and boris the quest for the ink machine #bendy the dancing demon #boris the wolf #band au #inky mystery au #the inky mystery #inky mystery #quest au #babtqftim au #granny gopher #granny #we respect granny #baby bois #childhood #backstory #yaayyyy #all that’s left is the cupbro’s childhood #then high school #and college

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling a player why I'm dropping them from my table?

I am running a D&D game, and it has been going on for a few months. It was intended to be a short game an we only have a few weeks left. When I invited everyone to the game, it was with that knowledge, and with the pre-requisite that they are an experienced player. I established what kind of game it would be from the start.

This guy, Quinn (not irl name) said he met the requests and was excited to play. As we began, it became apparent he was incredibly inexperienced with D&D (not knowing what a proficiency bonus is, not understanding action vs bonus action, etc). All of the players and I were patient with him, and this wasn't a problem. But we did have to shorten goals in the game because he slowed down combat drastically. We were still on a set timeline. My only issue with this was that he lied to me from the beginning.

Many other things were red flags: him getting upset when players couldn't make a session (giving notice), but him showing up late to every session. Dominating rp and not being interested when it wasn't about him, not really listening to me as a DM (I am femme presenting), but listening to my partner (m) who I'm co-running the game with. We had tried to talk to him about issues in the past, and he was receptive and gently corrected his behavior.

Before this recent session, the players made a wild turn and we are rolling with it. But, due to this sudden change, another player asked if we could come back to those side adventures as a 2-3 shot later. I agreed. But Quinn then pushed for us extending the game as a whole. I was very firm that we were ending on the 10th, to respect other people's time. Later, a player had covid exposure, but ended up being negative after 5 days and tests, but I requested everyone wear masks anyway because we had all recently had more warnings of exposure. Everyone else preferred this, except him, who outright refused, and I told him he could call in instead and we'd set up a camera.

These last few things rubbed me the wrong way, so I asked all the other players privately how they were feeling, without goading them by expressing my gripes. It didn't want to start a hate train, only see where evryone was at. I was already of the mind that I would not have him back at my table after these sessions, but would finish out the game with him.

When my players reported back, I found out that Quinn had made the only female player feel incredibly uncomfortable, reaching out to her privately, relentlessly attempting to flirt with her character (which as always shut down by me or even another player). Additionally another player got back to me saying they were very uncomfortable because Quinn had been pressuring them to hang out outside of the game, and not taking "no" for an answer. Various other things were brought to my attention, but those two responses were what made me decide to remove him then and there.

I never spoke to the other players about what each of them had said, so some people were confused because, while they didn't like him much, they thought removing him was sudden.

Quinn blew up in a chat with me and the co-DM, demanding a reason. He messaged me privately with some aggressive claims that he deleted soon after. We called him that night to talk, and told him we'd offer his information to the other players should they want to reach out as friends. I only listened in on the phone call due to the agression in his messages to me.

On the phone, my partner simply explained to him he wass no longer a good fit, and we are doing what is best for our table and players. Quinn berated him for more information, targeting the content of his character and skills as a DM in order to get a reaction, but my partner just told him, "responses were kept private. I will not divulge any more information, but we will no longer have you at our able moving forward."

Quinn's behavior during the call only solidified that this was the right choice (saying we have god complexes, are alcoholics because we got drunk during one game, announcing he'd slander us to the community at the local game shop, reminding that he knows where we work as a veiled threat).

The thing Quinn kept pressing for was asking how he can correct his behavior if he doesn’t know what he did. But we refused to tell him because it would directly out some of our players, who we promised anonymity.

I know I'm not wrong for booting him from the table, but AITA for not explaining why so that Quinn can correct his behavior?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[authoratmidnight]

So, I’ve noticed, a lot, that ppl comment about how ‘demons didn’t have the concept of friends before Iruma’.

Except, that’s *clearly* not true, if only because, for a civilized race you would have to have the concept of ‘person I like/get along with/enjoy spending time with’ cause like. That’s kind of the first step to making babies and not going extinct lol You kind of need to get along with people to fuck to make and raise kids(since the other option is that everyone is produced by rape which is uh, really dark and clearly not the case). And like, just looking at adults like, Balam and Kalego, or Dali and Suzie, it’s pretty clear that they DO in fact understand the concept of getting along with each other, or having a person that you enjoy spending time with/getting along with.

It was the WORD “friends” that tripped up Azz and Clara and, well everyone else.

But then it gets confusing b/c also hear characters who either had not met Iruma or before they met Iruma, using the word friends(like Gaap talking about wanting to ‘make 100 friends’). So I did some digging and well. Ironically this is a case of stuff being lost in translation, much like Iruma using the word ‘friends’ to Azz and Clara.

See. In Japanese the word Iruma used was 友達 (tomodachi). Which does indeed mean ‘friend’, which is the one we see other characters tripping over and saying slowly as if they’ve never heard it before. Meanwhile, the word we see/hear other characters using is 仲間 (nakama)-when Gaap was taking about making ‘100 friends’ he used the word nakama, お仲間100). Which ALSO is frequently translated as “friend”. Except, it doesn’t mean that, not always.

From doing some digging, ‘nakama’ has a different connotation than ‘tomodachi’. Nakama (as best as my research can find) is someone with a shared goal or someone you do something with. You can be a nakama without being a friend.

For example, your coworker could be a 仲間, you are doing things together and, depending on the job, may have the same goal (an example I saw used was buddy cop movies/shows), but you don’t necessarily have to be *friends* with that person.

I worked together on group projects with classmates in college, that would make them my nakama. But I wouldn’t really have considered them friends, they were not my tomodachi.

They’re similar words but with different meanings. There is for sure an overlap between the two no doubt, if you made a venn diagram with nakama on one side and tomodachi on the other they would overlap, but they wouldn’t be a circle.

友達 is 'friend,' with many of the ambiguities that accompany the English word 'friend.' People wonder what true friendship is (真の友情), the line between just a friend and a bff (友達と親友) or the line between the friendzone and boyfriend/girlfriend (お友達と恋人).

仲間 is a relationship to people in the same group that has a shared goal or do something together. You can be 仲間 with a person who isn't a friend. 仲間 is often defined by common enemies and/or outsiders.

Source [X]

But, since both of these words are often translated as “friends” it lends to, a LOT of confusion (in this instance, allies or companions would as a better translation for 仲間, to help remove some confusion). It doesn’t help that ‘friends’ is itself, a fairly vague word and can mean anything from ‘this person whom i like/get along with’ to ‘this person that i’ve known for years and trust with my life’.

Also like,just cause one does not have the word for something, doesn’t meant hat they don’t have/understand the concept of it. It happens all the time irl where one language has a word for a specific thing, while another language does not but still understand the concept of it. Which is clearly what’s happening here. They don’t know the word ‘tomodachi’, but they DO understand the concept to a degree and know what a ‘nakama’ is.

It’s quite entertaining to me that, much like how ‘tomodachi’ is lost in translation between Iruma and his friends, the tomodachi/nakama distinction is lost in translation from Japanese to English.

And then Nishi decided to really make it confusing by throwing in 親友 (shinyu) and making translators scream lmao.

edit to add: ALSO, we DO have to r3emember that the two people he first explained the concept of ‘tomodachi’ to were Clara and Azz, who definitely did not have any tomodachi or nakama before Iruma so it makes sense that would be very confused by what he was explaining.

#Mairimashita! Iruma-kun #Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun #Mairuma #language #your tomodachi is gonna be your nakama #but your nakama isn;t always a tomodachi #yes they can both be tl'd as friends but also they're not the same word #and have different connotations #there is nuance

[iamafanofcartoons]

Adam Taurus is a classic example of 

"I hate this character who's kind of an ***hole way more than I hate the actually evil villain" 

 Except this time both characters are the same guy.

Most people have probably not met a terrorist freedom fighter irl, so those crimes are like completely detached from reality for them.

On the flip side tho, almost everyone knows some possessive creepy dude who feels entitled to the women he dates, so it's a much more relatable level of evil.

Also?

Sienna was very clear about not liking the whole plan with Beacon, dividing the world, and all that bad stuff. 

Not to mention the whole "making faunus look like violent murderers" deal he had going on, which he tried to pass off as being inspired by Sienna's "Mess with one faunus, and you mess with all of us" approach.

You should see how some people tried to “fix” sienna khan.

Yeah, This is why I do not like fixit fanfics. They don’t get that edgelord = ***hole AND villain.

The fact that people were talking about him getting a redemption arc back when he was a mass murder who killed innocent people but said he deserved to die when he became an angry incel stalker…

I don’t get people.

A misguided Freedom Fighter wouldn't go out of their way to get civilians killed and that is exactly what Adam did in his introduction. We've got to remember that the only reason given for him not wanting to remove the civilians off of the train, is that he didn't want to.

This is even worse when we consider real life terrorist groups like the IRA who in the past had tremendous public support because they went out of their way to minimize civilian casualties! 

This means that not only did Adam not have a reason to not rescue those civilians, he actually had an incentive to do so but he just decided that he didn't want to!

But for the sake of discussion let's assume that the crew is made up of humans and this is something that Adam knows... why should that matter? These are civilian non-combatants and there is nothing to suggest that they couldn't rescue these people.  Adam simply chooses not to despite how doing so could only help the cause.

How then can Adam be a freedom fighter if he allows innocent civilians to die for no reason other than personal satisfaction?

Let's imagine for a second that the day Adam first joined the White Fang he walked up to Ghira (a pacifist) and declared that he has no interest in equality, what he really wants is enslave Humanity and kill a bunch of them along the way to Supremacy... what do you think would happen?

The obvious answer is that they would immediately kick him out of the group, Adam has to lie and hide who he really is if he wants to advance his goal. That doesn't mean that his character is contradictory, it just means that there's a layer of deception to how he presents himself. He is wearing a metaphorical mask and the show uses the introduction to lift up that mask and gives us a very quick peek of the Man underneath it.

“But Adam said in V3 about revolution?”

Think about it, if he really didn't want his men dying for a human cause then why didn't he run away? He had the perfect opportunity to do so after Cinder showed up as a student since she and her crew can't be at Beacon and Mt Glenn at the same time. And then of course we cannot forget the chaos following The Breach which would have also provided him the perfect exit but what did he do instead?

“Will your men still be willing to work with us? A lot of the White Fang died in the tunnels”-Cinder

“No, but they’ll listen to me”-Adam

Instead of fleeing when he had the chance, he approached Cinder and offered to continue the partnership. If she was someone who truly cared about equality then this would make absolutely no sense since attacking innocent civilians with the Grimm would have not helped with that goal, it would have actually made things worse between the two races. But if his actual goal is a race war... then it all makes sense.

It wasn’t about the cause, it was about getting back at those who wronged him. And Blake’s been “wronging” him the most lately, hence the obsessive stalking.

“But what about Cinder forcing Adam to cooperate?”

There's a lot of people under the impression that the Huntsman way of life is different from a civilian's. Sure, the nature of the mindsets are different but the basic principles are close to identical.

If a mugger points a gun at a civilian's face, the dude does what he's told if he doesn't want to be shot. If a Huntsman is borne down on by a Huntress who has an insurmountable amount of killing power available in comparison to them?

Adam was playing along 'cause he don't want to be smoked, sure, but it does help that what he's asked to do makes humans wake the frick up in fear...

True he didn’t want to do mostly because it was a human idea. He doesn’t mind attacking humans but he wasn’t really aiming for beacon until cinder pointed him that way.

Tbf, one is Adam being an edgy terrorist, the other is Adam being an edgy incel.

It's like edgy icing on edgy cake.

#adam taurus #rwby fnki #fnki #rwby memes #rwby character analysis #celtic phoenix #fix it fanfics #rwby #rwby adam #rwby v2 #rwby volume 2 #rwby volume 3 #rwby v3 #iamafanofcartoons

[citizen-zero]

I guess part of the reason that the whole “proshipper/anti” discourse is so silly to me is because like. I actually lived the situation that so many of them talk about, the whole “predators will show your fic to minors in order to groom them” thing. Except that’s not…that’s not really what happened.

The 25 year old woman I “dated” when I was 15 was someone I met through the Hetalia fandom; we did a lot of NSFW RPs and bonded over smutty fic. She drew, commissioned, and purchased smutty art and doujins that she shared with me. She came to visit me twice and like, we never went further than kissing, but I know for a fact that she wanted to. She said as much, and I think if I hadn’t been worried about getting caught by my mom, we would’ve. And this isn’t super distressing for me to talk about but it still makes me feel a little dirty. Not in a shame-filled way, I don’t think it’s my fault or anything, but I don’t feel good about it either.

Anyway, point is, it’s literally the situation that people wave around as an example of what might happen if we let people write about Sexually Immoral Topics, and yet I maintain that none of it was the fault of NSFW fan art/fiction. Not even the handful of teacher/student or incest fics I read and enjoyed—even when I was “dating” her, I recognized that that sort of relationship was wrong and should only be enjoyed in a fictional context. That sort of content was cathartic for me because I could engage with it but didn’t have to see or experience it IRL where it would have actual consequences. It’s the same as how playing GTA let me shoot rocket launchers at cops and blow up cars without…you know, doing that.

No, all of it was squarely the fault of the adult woman who was trying to fuck a teenage girl. All the emotional stress I felt then and all the lingering sour taste I have now is her fault. It wasn’t a single one of those artists’ or authors’ faults that, for almost two years, I was denying/unable to recognize the wrongness of my own situation even though I could recognize it in fictional ones. All of it was her fault for earning the trust of a teenager and then pursuing a “relationship.” The only function that the sexual content served was to be just another part of fandom to bond over, just like we bonded over cosplay and merchandise and new canon material and anime episodes and dubs and—you get it. It was one part of a whole. Like, smutty fan works are so common that it didn’t raise a red flag, because, well…everyone likes that stuff. If we’d been hanging out offline it would’ve been a red flag because adults talking about about sex with teenagers in a non-educational context is creepy. But in the fandom space, it’s just normal and part of the fun and it was okay because it wasn’t about us, it was about fake people.

So that makes it hard for me to take the discourse seriously, because 1) I don’t think most of you even know what you’re angry about anymore, and 2) sexual fan works and RPs didn’t have the heavy influence in my situation that you think they did. They were a part of the equation, but that woman could’ve easily groomed me even if we’d never talked about sex before we got into a “relationship.” The reason why I could recognize the wrongness of a fictional relationship but not my own was because she had earned my trust and used it to emotionally manipulate me into believing we were an exception.

I think a lot of you have a very…early 2000s after-school special idea of the role fandom can play in grooming and abuse. I think a lot of you imagine a creepy adult sending a teacher/student fic to a 14 year old and saying, “See, this is normal and okay because it’s in a fan fiction.” And I’m not saying that never ever happens, but I think it’s far more common for it to happen the same way it does offline: the adult bonds with the minor over shared interests, earns their trust, makes them feel cool and special, and then uses that trust and goodwill to convince them that the abuse is okay and that other people “don’t/won’t understand.” It’s exactly the same tactics as adult men “dating” high school girls.

I think it’s unproductive at best to go after artists and authors who create the kind of content I was reading back then, because like, I recognized that the fictional scenarios would be wrong IRL and it still didn’t help. I’m betting most people reading AND making that stuff recognize on some level that it’d be wrong IRL. Blaming abuse on fan work and not solely on predators means that one of the ways that predators can gain your trust is by aligning themselves with “antis,” the same way that right wingers can get you to agree with them on anything by dressing it up in progressive language. I dread to say it but I am confident that it’s already happening.

I’m not saying anyone needs to read something they’re uncomfortable with, or interact with people who enjoy those things, but I do think you need to develop some nuance and recognize that the vast majority of people making the sexual content you dislike aren’t doing so for nefarious reasons. Yes, fiction can normalize and perpetuate bad ideas, but fiction isn’t the cause, it’s the symptom. You’re not going to end sexual abuse by witch hunting people who write about, like, teenagers dating and having sex (which, as we all know, definitely doesn’t happen IRL). At best it’s unproductive, and at worst you create an environment where teens feel even greater shame about wanting to explore their sexuality by writing about characters their own age, and adults feel afraid to draw inspiration from their own life experiences for fear someone will call them a predator. Which sucks for everyone, but it also means that queer teens and adults (who are already made to feel like their feelings are dirty and inappropriate) effectively end up closeted and unable to come to terms with their identities and see their experiences represented somewhere.

So…I don’t really have a smooth conclusion here. I just think the shipping discourse is fucking stupid because it assumes a world that runs on Internet Stranger Danger PSA logic.

#personal #erika's blog and bar

[starkid256]

can i rant about how bad 2023 is for me rq?

ok so in the first couple of months of 2023 i was doing great. new year new me amiright. i was chillin on the crk wiki n shit and i wasnt doing very well in school but what can you do the us education system is flawed and nothing can fix it. i made a contest for people to draw strawberry crepe cuz that was the rage and all. once the deadline hit, i was ready to make the prizes.

i hit the biggest fucking roadblock in my life.

i just got hit with the worst burnout and depression i have ever had in my life. it took 11-12 days to write something with 1k words. this depression is still there. it pains me to even attempt to draw or write or anything. whatever, depression like this is very common. eventually, i moved on from the crk wiki and went to comic studio.

oh. comic studio. where do i begin?

to start off, if you dont already know, comic studio is a website to share comics. shocker i know. i met some friends on here from there. some of my moots i met from cs. and yet, it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. there was drama left and right, mainly centering some specific sensitive users that ive blocked on here, there were people sending death threats and threatening to kill themselves every day. and i desperately told them that their lives had value. all of this drama and suicide baiting was absolutely murdering my mental health in cold blood, so when i broke my kindle screen, i had an episode where i nearly killed myself. no one saw. not anyone irl, not anyone online except for a friend who didnt take it seriously. i didnt really draw too much attention to it anyways. btw, all of this was happening while my dad ran off with my now stepmom and was dumb enough to put himself into a mentally abusive relationship. my mom, who i live with, hates those two so much. also my stepmom is queerphobic and has internalized conservativity.

i got tumblr as soon as i got my first phone, near the start of june. i love tumblr with all my heart, but it fucking murders your mental health nearly just as bad as cs. i mean, what do you expect from a website that makes you think that all the problems of the world are your fault? i have met great people here, but it still fucking sucks.

the real nail in the coffin was when a user on comic studio (who i have now blocked on tumblr) made a half baked shitty "callout post" on me. i will say, i did do something wrong that i apologized for afterwards, but everything else was past drama that they brought up even though i had already apologized for all of it. i apologized, and decided that i should leave comic studio. and so i did. keep in mind that all of this has been happening while my main family (which means excluding my dad and step mom) lives paycheck to paycheck.

now flash forward to the present. im on my phone for 14 hours a day on average laying on the couch scrolling through tumblr and watching youtube and playing roblox wishing i was dead. i have no one to blame for this behavior but myself. i would hope that the rest of 2023 is ok, but i already know i will have a horrible rest of the year. yeah this was a rly big rant. ily guys and i hope your 2023 was better than mine.

#rant #vent #pls read

[theintrovertbean]

Do you have an OC? Would love to hear about them if you do so take this as a moment to completely brag about them 🤭

Yup, I have an OC! Although, they're pretty much just me, only a better version. I haven't talked much about them anywhere due to being afraid of people judging me since this includes a topic that a few people might not like.

I normally don't like OCs. I have almost zero interest in them, but I guess this bitch counts kinda as an OC, so here we are. Still, I have no idea what I'm doing here, and forgive me if this isn't what you want me to talk about. I've made an OC before for Nadia, but she's on my old blog, and I never wrote anything with her related to The Arcana, so yeah. But this one is a different case.

Anyway, some of you may or may not know that I intend to reality shift to The Arcana (and I'm very close, I've actually seen parts of the shop and had a few lucid dreams about Nadia. Once, she complained to Namar about me staying up late.) So I just created a little alternative universe for myself where I will live as my OC.

Their name is Eszter, and so is mine. Yup, that's my real name. Beautiful and fancy, I know. For privacy reasons, I will not share my surname because I'd die of shame if someone who has met me IRL found out about this blog.

Just like me, Eszter is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns. Their age depends on the story, and it usually varies from late teens to thirties.

Esz has four siblings (I have one myself, a younger brother, and he is for sale, but no one wants him): two brothers and two sisters who are all younger, so Nadia can finally become the older sibling that she never had. Eszter often takes care of their siblings and looks after them whenever their parents are absent, which means most of the time.

Their hobbies include making perfume and jewelry, singing, and cooking.

Eszter bought the magic shop from their aunt, who is still very much alive, but she was fed up with Lucio, so she moved back to their home country. The aunt adopted Asra and Muriel, so they've been close friends with Esz since childhood. However, the Coliseum stuff happened to Muriel, so he no longer lives in the magic shop. Eszter doesn't remember him, but Asra still lives with them, and they have the coolest slumber parties.

Since this entire blog is dedicated to our goddess Nadia, I'm going to tell you how she and Eszter met. Well, in three different realities, so this means three stories.

This is exactly the way everything is in The Arcana. No big changes, it's all the same way as Nadia's route. Eszter died because of the plague, Asra brought them back, Lucio "died," Nadia took a big nap, woke up, went to the magic shop, and you hopefully know the rest.

My favorite one so far and the reality where I want to shift first. This one has most of the major elements of The Arcana. It's a lighter version without any death and battling the Devil. Eszter had some brains and left Vesuvia before they could have fallen ill to the plague, so Asra never had to bring them back, and they just returned to Vesuvia after the plague was over. Nadia still took a big nap, and Lucio made his deals, so Vesuvia is in some deep shit. Esz has a horrible opinion of Nadia due to a few past events. She and Eszter were supposed to meet, but Nadia left for Vesuvia and married Lucio. Eszter met Lucio later and came to the conclusion that he's a piece of shit, so Nadia must be, too, since people usually marry like-minded individuals. Still, Esz knew that Nadia was a Satrinava, and every Satrinava that Eszter had ever met was a nice person, so they couldn't believe that Nadia was an exception. They snuck a letter under her bedroom door, telling Nadia to come and meet them at the docs and they'll take her back home to Prakra, but she never showed up. She wanted to, but her pride kept her in Vesuvia. And now to when the game is supposed to begin. When Nadia arrives at their shop, Eszter doesn't want to help her with the investigation at first. Eszter agrees but emphasizes that they will do it for the people of Vesuvia and not for Nadia. In the next few days, they spend some time together, and Esz realizes that Nadia is actually a wonderful person, which leads to an apology and a romance story.

This one might be the sweetest and the simplest. The young and dashing Eszter arrives in Prakra, where they meet the youngest of the Prakran princesses. These two sweethearts fall in love, and that's pretty much the purpose of the whole thing. It's kind of a first-love situation. They're both young, but they're not minors. They're never minors.

In stories number 2 and 3, Esz is royalty for one completely valid reason: I want to make Nadia a queen. And if anyone has a problem with that, I'll fight them myself. I'm short and full of anger, so be careful. In story 2, Nadia believes that Esz is just a humble magician, so that's a big secret that they keep from her. It does not lead to good things.

Just like me, Eszter is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns. Their age depends on the story, and it usually varies from late teens to thirties.

Their hobbies include making perfume and jewelry, singing, and cooking.

Anyway, if you want to know more about Esz, I'm more than happy to brag a little more about them. And if you'd like me to write maybe a story or two, whether it includes more about their background or their love story with Nadia, I'd gladly do so.

#nadia satrinava #nadia arcana #the arcana nadia #nadia the arcana #countess nadia #arcana nadia #nadia i love you #arcana oc

[aroaceconfessions]

Could I be aro?

Tw: details of romantic and sexual situations

I’ve recently been questioning whether or not I might be aro and want to know if that seems way off base to others who are. What led to me thinking this is what appears on the surface to be a fear of commitment. I’ve always desired a romantic relationship in theory, and I’ve had crushes on plenty of people growing up (I’m 23). As I got older and started to try online dating, I’ve had lengthy conversations with many different people on the apps, and probably between 5-10 first dates. In high school up to now, whenever the possibility of a relationship with someone I’m romantically interested in becomes real (irl crushes ask me out or online crushes suggest meeting in person), I get sort of sickened by the idea. People that either are very compatible with me on paper or that I flirt with a bunch over text suddenly gross me out.

Now, you might be saying, “It seems like you’re pretty romance-repulsed when the idea of being in a romantic relationship yourself becomes a possibility, rather than a fantasy or theory.” And it does seem like that. But my fantasies do involve me specifically, and I want to point out an important exception.

When I was 14, I had a crush on a guy who also had a crush on me. We were in a ton of classes together, he was actually one of my teacher’s sons. Same scenario, he asks me out, I say yes, we go on a first date and I hate it. But, for a lot of not great reasons, I decide to try and wait it out to see if that feeling goes away. I guess I thought relationships were hard and once you put the work in they get fun. So I was pretty miserable for about a year and a half, maybe two. But then, I started to get less miserable about the romantic aspects of our relationship. To a point where it seemed like I was enjoying all of the things I fantasized about. We were together until I was 18, and the last two years I was very happy with the romantic things like kissing, cuddling, dates, etc.

So. Idk if I got stockholm syndrome or what, but clearly I enjoyed that romantic relationship eventually. Idk what changed, because we definitely had a deep emotional connection way before I was comfortable with him in that way. There are a lot of little things too that make me question being aro, like not really having very many/if any significant crushes in the last 2-3 years, however I haven’t met a ton of new people in that time either (thanks pandemic). I went on a couple dates with one guy under the assumption we were both seeking a romantic relationship, but the first date was pretty much just hanging out as friends and the second date on did involve sex without any kissing or much cuddling at all, and after we decided to just be fwb we did things like kissing that didn’t gross me out. Also, the guy I dated for 4 years is the only romantic relationship I’ve ever had, so no other examples to provide. I expect some advice might be to try again and date more people to see if it’s a pattern, but I don’t really want to waste more years of my life in relationships that gross me out.

Some possibly helpful background: I was AFAB and I’m pretty sure I’m cis, but have questioned in the past. Purity culture and gender roles were very enforced growing up, but I’ve been working on breaking away from them for the past 5+ years. Until I started questioning being aro I identified as panromantic, but it did take me until I was 20 to even entertain the idea of being queer despite having had crushes on girls my whole life (probably because of religious trauma, you get it). I’ve ID’d as asexual since I was 21, and I believe at least part of that comes from sexual trauma. I don’t experience sexual attraction ever, but I am sex-favorable and I do desire sexual relationships. Sex for me is very much a fun/exciting performance, and I also get gratification from it the same way you might get gratification from giving someone you care about a back massage. I come from a verbally/emotionally abusive household with an enmeshed family that I am still in frequent and close contact with, by my choice. We don’t/have never shown any physical affection to each other past occasional, sometimes awkward hugs.

I know this might be a good thing to discuss with my psychiatrist and/or therapist but despite their full support, they aren’t as well-versed in aspec culture/issues/sublabels/etc and they don’t have aro experiences.

Does anyone relate to any part of this and/or have any insight they’d be willing to share? Thanks

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #questioning #sex favorable #dating #relationships #purity culture #gender roles #abuse #childhood abuse