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#i have loved him from the moment i saw him in the movies
adriennebarnes · 3 days
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Prince of Ferrari
Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina! Reader
Summary: Y/N meets F1 driver, Charles Leclerc, in a surprising and completely unexpected way.
Warning: THIS IS MY FIRST CHARLES LECLERC FANFIC, inaccurate F1 details (I’m a new fan, I’m learning) Grammatical and spelling errors
A/N: inspired by the way Ella of Frell met Prince Charmont in the movie Ella Enchanted. It is kinda a mix of Ella Enchanted and the DCOM Starstruck which really mad eme believe I'll have a Y/N moment, I really hope y’all like it!
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Y/N was not a huge sports girl, but she LOVES Formula 1. Y/N started watching F1 with her dad when Checo Pérez joined in 2011 and now she’s living in Miami with the Grand Prix being only a few days away. Though everyone is a Ferrari fan according to Sebastian Vettel, Y/N was a total Red Bull fan.
That brings her to the Aventura Mall where Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz had an event with Ray-Ban.
"Do you know why there are so many people here?" Y/N asked her friend, trying to push through the crowd to get to Guess.
"Didn't you hear? The Ferrari boys are coming to the mall because of their Ray-Ban sponsorship/partnership, how did you not know this? I though you were a big F1 fan." Y/N's friend, Francesca, said.
"Exactly, I am an F1 fan, not a Ferrari fan. Isn't there are a Ferrari store here too? Why can't they do a Ferrari event?" Y/n asked.
"I think that is Sunday after the race." Francesca said, Y/N was going to say somwthing before she heard screaming. "Looks like the Ferrari boys are here. Can I meet them please?" Francesca asked Y/N with puppy dog eyes.
"Sure, I'll try to go to the Dolphin mall and see if I can get my mom a birthday gift without the crowd, let me know if you get a photo with them." Y/N said, she kissed Francesca goodbye and made it towards the exit.
Charles and Carlos were entering the mall, signing things as people were taking photos and videos of them.
"Remind me again why we are here?" Charles asked Fred.
"We need to maintain a good relationship with Ray-Ban." Fred said.
"It is completely fine, Lord Perceval, lighten up." Carlos said. They kept signing things until they made it to the stage set up in the center of the first floor.
"Welcome Formula 1 Ferrari drivers Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz!" Ray Ban employee said. The crowd cheered and got closer to the stage to see the Ferrari boys even closer as the boys walked on stage, shaking hands with the Ray-Ban employee before sitting down on the chair set up and with microphones in their hands. "Before we get this event started, we are raffling off 5 sunglasses with cases signed by the drivers themselves, if you haven't bought tickets, do so now. Carlos and Charles will be answering your questions." The employee said.
The event itself was going well for the first 10 minutes until..
"Charles, are you a fast runner?" A girl asked.
"Not particulary, no, why?" Charles asked.
"Get him!" That same girl said and Charles saw how there were many girls trying to get on stage so Charles did what any guy would do and thats run off the stage and through the exit, 13 girls chasing after him.
"This cannot be happening!" Charles exclaimed to himself. He ran to the parking garage and looked behind him and there were still girls chasing him. He tried to hide behind a car when he bumped into a girl.
"Puta madre, watch where.." Y/N didn't finish her sentence because Charles covered her mouth, pulled her close to him by her waist and slid down the car door, successfully hiding from the girls chasing him. Y/N psuhed his hand away from her mouth. "Huh, well if it isn't the prince of Ferrari."
"Please, call me.." Charles looked into her eyes. "Call me Charles. Sorry about that, occupational hazard." Charles said getting up, dusting himself off. "Allow me." Charles said, helping Y/N off the floor as she dusted herself off as well.
"Does this kind of thing happen often? Being chased by girls?" Y/N asked, looking around the parking garage.
"I don't get chased like this, thats for sure, its more the American fans. But i do get approached often when I am in Monaco." Charles said.
"Well yeah, you're not exactly subtle driving around the country in a fucking sports car that all your fans recognize." Y/N commented.
"So you know a lot about me?" Charles asked with his arms crossed and a stupid smirk on his face.
"Charming, such Libra behavior. Now as you are clearly not in danger from screaming fans and I am nothing but a humble American, I'll leave you to it." Y/N said, about to unlock her car when Charles put his hand over hers.
"Wait, what is your name?" Charles asked.
"Y/N." Y/N responded.
"Do you have anywhere you need to be?" Charles asked.
"Well I'm shopping for my mom's birthday present. I couldn't really do the shopping in this mall." Y/N said.
"Maybe I can help you, as a thank you of course for not blowing my cover." Charles said.
"You gotta lose the Ferrari merch if you don't want to get chase again." Y/N said.
"Oh, of course." Charles said. He took off the Ferrari hoodie he had on and Y/N couldn't help but look when Charles's shirt started riding up when he did so. "Better?"
"I have a Disney baseball cap and sunglasses in my purse, just wear the 'Marvel disguise'." Y/N said laughing as she handed Charles the items and he puts them on.
"Do I look like a normal guy?" Charles asked posing.
"Sure, get in." Y/N said, unlocking her car to get into the driver's seat and Charles circled the car to get into the passenger seat. "Wouldn't your team principal freak out that you are missing?"
"I'll let him know I'm okay, It's only Wednesday, press is not until tomorrow, I think I can have a little fun." Charles said. Y/N started the car and left the parking garage when she got a call from Francesca.
"Digame Fran, como te fue?" Y/N asked her friend.
"Mal, no sabes lo que paso, some girl decided to fucking jump the stage, her and a group of girls chase Charles out of the mall, and now the event is canceled. Like what the fuck. How about you? Did you make it to the other mall?" Francesca asked.
"Actually Fran, you have no idea what happened." Y/N said.
"Hello Fran, how are you?" Charles spoke and Francesca went silent. "Are you alright?" Charles asked again and Francesca screamed.
"You bitch, you have Charles Leclerc in your car?!?" Francesca screamed.
"Relax, he's helping me with something and in turn, he plays hooky until this whole thing blows over." Y/N said. "I'll call you later, okay?" Y/N said, hanging up. "Sorry about her, she is a huge Ferrari fan."
"What about you? Ared you a Ferrari fan?" Charles asked curiously.
"Sorry, red is not my color, I'm a Red Bull fan." Y/N told him. Charles put his hand on his chest.
"Ouch, you hurt me." Charles said and Y/n laughed. "Its such a shame, you would look great in red."
"Charming." Y/N replied.
"So i have been told." Charles said. Y/N played music in the car until they made it to the Dolphin mall. "Miami has a lot of malls."
"Yes, yes it does." Y/N replied before getting out of the car and getting reusable bags from the trunk. "Lets pay for parking."
"You pay to park the car yourself?" Charles asked.
"oh you have so much to learn." Y/N walked to the meter at the entrance of the mall to pay before Y/N grabbed his hand to enter the mall.
"As my tour guide, where do we go first?" Charles asked.
"I wanted to go to Swarovski to get a necklace for my mom." Y/N said.
"Any stores you want to go to?" Charles asked.
"There is a Saks Off Fifth but I don't think I have enough money." Y/N said. Charles pulled out his wallet.
"I'll pay." Charles said but Y/N shook her head.
"There is no way I can let you do that." Y/N said.
"I insist. You are helping me a lot by treating me like a regular guy. Its the least I can do, you are babysitting me after all." Charles said.
"Well I can't argue with that." Y/N said.
That is exactly what happened, Charles helped Y/N pick out a necklace with matching earrings for Y/N's mom and paid for it. Charles was very insistent in Y/N trying on clothes from different stores she wanted to look at. When Charles saw Y/N's eyes light up in a certain item, he always said "Do not look at the price tag, do you like it? Do you want to get it? Then its done, I'll buy it for you." Charles ended up carrying Y/N's shopping bags after every trip. They went to the food court and Charles also paid for their lunch, they sat in a far away booth.
"So how did you get into F1?" Charles asked, taking a bite out of his sandwich.
"Well my dad is a fan, we like Checo Perez because he is Mexican, Latino power and all that." Y/N said, eating her Chinese food.
"So that is why you are a Red Bull fan, good to know." Charles said.
"Yep, that's why. I hate to ruin the moment, but what happens after today?" Y/N asked.
"Well I wouldn't see you in person until the next Miami GP, but we could talk everyday if you give me your phone number, If you want fo course, I liked spending the day with you." Charles admitted.
"I liked spending the day with you too, I never had a guy friend before so this type of relationship is new to me, but i don't hate it." Y/N replied. Charles got out his phone.
"Here, put your contact in." Charles handed Y/N his phone. Y/N added her name and her photo, han ding it back to Charles. "'Y/N American', very cute." Charles said.
"why thank you." Y/N did the nose scrunch and Charles found it adorable. "Now do you want to buy anything sir or are you okay? It's almost 5 and tomorrow is your media day." Y/n said.
"yeah, we can go." Charles said, they finished their food, threw out their garbage, left the mall, and went to Y/N's car, she got in front of his hotel. "You should come over one day." Charles said, unbuckling his seatbelt.
"If your team principal says its okay." Y/N said.
"I'll make sure he says its okay, see you around." Charles said, leaving the car. Y/N drove back to her house, her parents watching TV in the living room.
"Como te fue, mija?" Y/N's mom asked.
"Me fue bien, Mami, luego te cuento." Y/N said, dropping off her bags in her room. She closed her door and collapsed on her bed when she got a text.
Unknown number: Fred said its okay, whenever you want to come over, let me know.
Unknown number: It is Charles by the way.
Y/n laughed and replied to him.
You: Sounds like a plan, I'll let you know, Charlie.
Y/N saved Charles's number as Charlie and sighed. Today was a good day.
The End
Hope y'all liked it, if you did, maybe I can write more, I don't know, I need more Latina representation. Up to you if you want more or if i should just stick to reading F1 fanfics.
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sjyluv · 2 days
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in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you
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genres! fluff?, angst, celebrity x celebrity, ex-lovers
word count! 1380
warnings! mention of breakup, heartbreak
synopsis! in another life, you and park sunghoon are lovers, just not in this one
mimi’s note! this fic was inspired by a quote from the movie ‘everything everywhere all at once’ also I'm not very good at writing angst because I hate it but I did my best
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“Congrats, big shot,” a familiar voice says from behind you, and you can hear the teasing smile in his tone, “actress of the year award, you're in the big leagues now.”
You turn around to face Park Sunghoon, a renowned figure skater and your ex-boyfriend. You haven't seen each other in almost a year but the sight of him still has the same effect on you it did all those years ago.
He's hauntingly beautiful and you're a house of horrors.
You offer a polite smile, but it's bittersweet as if you were greeting death itself.
“Congratulations to you too, you're becoming a bit of an A-list yourself since you won the Olympics.” you quip, and you both know what kind of game you're going to play tonight.
It’s the same one you always play, the one where he pretends you didn’t break his heart and you pretend everything is fine.
Sunghoon smiles at you too, like you're everything he's ever had and everything he's ever lost.
“Maybe we should exchange autographs like middle schoolers trade Pokémon cards,” he says, and you both chuckle.
“Hmm, I have a feeling mines will be more valuable.”
He playfully puts a hand over his heart. “That’s hurtful, y/n, but I can’t deny that it’s also true.”
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The gala was still roaring with life when you stepped out for some fresh air, you sat on concrete stairs, not caring if you got your 20,000-dollar dress dirty. You couldn't care about a lot of things lately.
You and Sunghoon had long parted ways, the conversation only lasted about five minutes before you were seated at your respective tables, you didn't see him again after that.
You’ve gotten everything you ever dreamed of at this point in your career, and you accomplished all your goals, in the beginning, it all seemed so impossible, but now that you're here and you've done it, you’re not so sure what's left anymore.
The sound of the door opening catches your attention, a tall, pale figure steps out, dressed in a purely black suit, and you recognize him instantly.
“Following me?” you prop your chin in your palm as your elbow rests on your knee, carrying the weight of your head as you tilt it playfully.
He’s not startled by the suddenness of your voice, which tells you, yes, he was looking for you.
He smiled. “Maybe.”
He sat next to you on the stairs, not caring if his 5,000-dollar suit got dirty, though it wasn't actually because he didn't care about the suit, but because he just wanted to be close to you.
You're both silent for a while, simply appreciating being in each other's presence after so long.
Or maybe it's because you don't know what to say and he has too much to say, so you settle for the piercing silence of unsaid words.
Sunghoon has been silent his whole life, but he promised himself tonight he wouldn't be.
“Was it worth it?”
Ah. There it is.
You think as the corners of your lips curl upward, you knew this question was coming, you sensed it the moment you saw him again.
If he had asked you that a year ago you would’ve said yes, no hesitation, no second thoughts, just a straight-up yes, and you would have meant it too.
Suddenly the silk fabric of your dress starts to itch your skin, your diamond embroidered heels start to hurt your feet, and your pearl jewelry feels too heavy.
In only a single minute, Park Sunghoon has stripped you of your persona, called you out for the fraud you are, and seen the real you.
And he accepted you.
You lie to save your pride, it's a habit of yours that he knows all too well.
He doesn't think you're perfect, but you would never have to be for him to love you.
“Sometimes,” you say.
You don't bother lying, he’ll know.
You had always been a good liar until Sunghoon came into your life.
He gently nods in understanding at your response, “Do you ever think about it? About us?”
With a chuckle, you reply, “Of course I do.”
It's true that sometimes leaving him is worth the life you're living now, but there are fragments of times when you imagine what your life could've been with him.
In another life, you never left Sunghoon, you got married, bought a home together, adopted a dog, and had a child.
On the surface that sounds nice, but in another life, you are a housewife with broken dreams, you bought a home together but it wasn't the one you always dreamed of because you had to compromise with Sunghoon, you adopted a dog but you were never really an animal person, and you had a child but motherhood was never for you.
In another life, you are happy to be a housewife, you and Sunghoon bought your dream home together, you adopted a dog that you both love, you had a child and you are the most loving mother.
In another life, you are not a housewife, you and Sunghoon bought a home even better than your dream home, you adopted a dog but you're more of a cat person, and you never had a child but you always wanted to be a mother.
In another life, you and Sunghoon work from home, you bought a decent home together, and although it's not your dream one, it's good enough, you adopted a cat, and you never had a child but because that's the way you liked things.
In another life, you and Sunghoon are divorced, the home you bought together is just walls and a roof with painful memories, you don't adopt any pets, and you never had a child.
In another life, Sunghoon is a househusband, you don't care about having a dream home because any place is home with him, you adopted a dog and a cat, and you had a child who has everything they could ever want.
In another life, you and Sunghoon are teenagers again falling in love for the very first time, and you have no idea what the future holds for you.
In another life, you and Sunghoon are just a little bit younger than you are now, in the kitchen of your shared apartment, and you are trying to figure out how to do laundry so all your clothes don’t turn blue again and how to properly calculate your taxes so you don’t go to prison for tax fraud.
In another life, you and Sunghoon have grown old together, and you are experts at doing laundry and taxes.
In another life, you are the bottles of salt and pepper on the table of a random diner and things are entirely less complicated.
In another life, you never meet Park Sunghoon.
The possibilities are endless, and the truth is, you never know what will happen in your life, and that's scary, but you hope in another life you learn to accept the bad just as easily as you accept the good.
“What does it look like?” he asks.
“Laundry and taxes,” you shrug.
You both laugh at that.
“What about you?” you ask.
“Taxes and laundry,” he smiles.
You both laugh again.
The party inside is completely forgotten about as you and Sunghoon spend what feels like hours just sitting and talking, until the realization that it’s time to go home dawns on you.
Sunghoon gets up first, holding his hand out for you to take, and you do, but when he helps you to your feet he doesn't let go just yet, instead, he looks into your eyes and you feel his thumb caress your knuckles.
“It was nice to see you again, y/n.”
“It was good to see you again too, Sunghoon.”
He finally lets you go and you already miss his warmth.
He almost walks away but turns to face you one last time.
With a hint of a smile on his lips, he says, “You know, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”
And then Park Sunghoon walks out of your life forever, and you let him.
In another life, things didn't end that way.
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© 2024 sjyluv, all rights reserved | do not repost, translate, or plagiarize
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afterglowsainz · 2 days
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the prophecy | max verstappen
summary: you and max can never agree on the same topic of conversation and it might be the thing that breaks you up
warnings: angst, some yelling
word count: 805
the tortured athletes department series
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you love max. you really do. but you hate when he brings up the same topic of conversation that you'll never agree on.
“i’m not moving to monaco.” you say for the million time.
“i’m just saying it would be way easier for us.” he answers unbothered while eating his dinner.
you avoid rolling your eyes at his comment and just decide to ignore him. since you got together, distance has been a complicated issue for you both. with max flying almost the whole year for races and then going home to monaco and you working and living in new york, the two of you only saw each other during breaks and when you could occasionally fly to see him race.
and yes, maybe it would make it easier if one of you just moved, but why did it have to be you? living in new york has been your dream since you were a kid and saw it in the movies, and now that you finally got a job that you enjoy in the city of your dreams, are you really gonna leave it? hell no.
“why don’t you think about it?” he insists.
you drop the fork you were holding on the plate creating an exaggerated noise.
“would you do it for me?” you ask, exhausted. “would you move to new york for me?” he shakes his head and went back to his dinner.
“is not the same.” he says. 
“why don’t you move to new york?” you ask instead. this caught his attention and he finally moved his eyes from the food to you. “what is it to you anyway? you’re traveling the whole time, i on the other hand, actually work here.”
“you can get a job in monaco.” he replies like he always did when the topic came up.
“i don’t want a different job!” you raise your voice. “and i don’t want to move to monaco.” he didn’t said anything, fearing that whatever came out of his mouth would disturb you more than you already were. “if you wouldn’t do it for me, why would i do it for you?”
you regret it the moment you said it, but it was too late now, it was out there. you could recognize the pain in max’s face from miles away and you felt a little guilty that you were relieved when you said it so you didn’t have to hide your thoughts on the topic anymore.
“because that is what people in relationships do, y/n.” he answers, his tone rather harsh. “you sacrifice things for each other.”
“why do i have to be the one to sacrifice things?” you couldn’t stop now that it was out there.
“why are you being so immature about this?” he exhales, a tired expression on his face which only made you angrier.
“i’m not acting “immature” about this.” you attack. “you just ask me to give up my whole life to go live in a complete different continent for you and i said no, period.”
“so what are we supposed to do, y/n?” he raise his voice at you also. “what are we doing here? playing around?” you frown, nodding your head in disbelief. “i love you too much but this long distance thing is killing me.” he admits.
to be fair, you weren’t the biggest fan of long distance either, but there was no other choice. it was either that or broke up, and you definitely didn’t want to break up.
“look, i know it is not perfect but what else can we do?” you ask, even though the answer was right there, it was obvious that neither of you was going to give in.
“this cannot be the thing that breaks us up.” he whispers but you heard him.
“of course we’re not gonna break up, max.” you say. “that seems extreme.” a grimace of sadness appeared on your face.
��well, i’m not sure what else…” he didn’t continue. “i’m not moving to new york.” he says with a serious tone. “and it seems like you’re not moving to monaco. and none of us wants to do long distance.” you kept quiet, trying to wrap your mind around what he was implying, praying that your conclusions were wrong.
“so?” you ask somewhat fearfully.
“so… i don’t know.”
“you want to end things?” you question straightforwardly, not wanting to wander anymore where his mind was.
“i don’t.” he answers. “but can we continue how we are?” his face was of true despair. 
“is it really this serious?” your voice was seconds away from breaking but you didn’t want to look shattered in front of him.
“you tell me.” he says with a lump on his throat.
you couldn’t help but wonder if this was always how it was going to end.
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Text
Rindou x Reader
wc: 1200
angst, fluff
not edited
Rindou loves you. You know he does, but he has this annoying habit of not listening to you sometimes. Especially when it comes to recommendations. You recommend him food? Yeah, he'll try it. spoiler alert: he forgets. what about a movie you watched the other day and liked so much that you told him to watch it immediately? "Yeah, when I have time I will" is his answer. However, he'll only watch it if someone else recommends it too not even remembering you mentioning anything about it. And then he has the nerve to tell you all about it while you listen to him unimpressed. Sometimes it makes you feel like your opinion matters very little to him but you've never told him this. Part of you doesn't want to seem like an insecure girlfriend while the other part thinks there is no deep meaning to this.
This war in your mind ended when you entered your bedroom after having a bad day and saw Rindou sitting on the bed leaning his back on the headboard and "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" in his hands. You remember telling him how you cried reading it. However, you're surprised he's reading what you recommended. sensing your presence Rindou removed his glasses and looked at you.
"Tired?"
"Exhausted" you sit beside him "Do you like it?" you ask indicating the book.
He shrugs
"I've only read 20 pages yet. But Kakucho said it's really good"
You roll your eyes. thinking that you should've seen this coming you mumble "Of course he did" which wasn't as quiet as you expected because Rindou turned to you with a confused hum. You just shake your head as in "nothing" and try to get up but Rindou grips your arm and makes you sit back down. You sigh not having enough energy to deal with this.
"What is it?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Should I be?"
He closed the book setting it aside as he turned to me with narrowed his eyes as if sensing the trap.
"I... don't know. What did I do?"
"It's nothing Rindou, let me go"
Your words had the opposite effect as his grip tightened.
"That's not my name" His voice got low
"Uh it actually is"
"Not for you. Did I fuck up that badly?"
Now that you think about it no he didn't. It's probably you who's overreacting and creating a problem over nothing. You sound ridiculous even to you and you hate yourself.
"It's really nothing. I've just had a bad day so... I just wanna sleep"
After a moment of hesitation, Rindou let you go, his eyes following as you got changed and got in bed turning your back to him. As you lay in bed your overthinking got worse. The fact that he doesn't know what he's doing affects you this badly means that he's not doing it on purpose. But that's even worse. Does that mean that he doesn't even value your opinion enough to think about how neglecting it would affect you? Maybe he thinks you don't care about it so he doesn't too. Or maybe he just forgets. This also means he doesn't care. Every version you think about leads to you thinking he doesn't care and that feels really shitty.
On the other hand, Rindou was watching you lying silently with your back to him and he knew then he definitely did something wrong. You get in bed and do not snuggle up to him planting your head in his neck? Yes, something is terribly wrong.
"C'mon love, tell me what's wrong" he snaked his arm around your waist, and turns out this is all it took for your tears to run free. You bite your lip to stop it from trembling feeling so stupid for crying over something so trivial.
"And don't you dare to say it's nothing bec- are you crying?"
Rindou could swear he heard his heart crash. He turned you around to face him. tucking your hair behind your ear he quickly wiped your tears.
"Hey, don't cry, i- I'm sorry okay? Whatever I did, I didn't mean it just don't cry"
Even though he thought, and has told you this plenty of times, that you looked pretty when you cried, he hated when you cried. Even more, when he was the reason behind those tears.
"Talk to me please?"
Looking anywhere but at him, you opened your mouth to speak.
"It's really stupid"
"So stupid that you're crying over it? I don't care, tell me."
You don't want to.
"It's just... sometimes you don't listen to me"
Rindou was confused. You sound so crazy to him right now. He doesn't listen to you? You have him wrapped around your finger. Your word is a fucking law to him and you have the nerve to say that he doesn't listen to you? He only listens to you.
"What do you mean?"
"Everything I suggest you just forget until someone else suggests the same thing. Like-" You sniffle between speech "Like this book. You're reading it because Kakucho told you, but I told you to read it weeks ago"
The more you talk the more you want to shut up. Dreading seeing Rindou's expression you focus on your hands.
"It feels like you don't care about my opinion. It's so stupid I know..."
"I don- What?" Rindou couldn't help but exclaim. His mind processing thousands of thoughts right now. You think he doesn't care? How long have you been feeling like this? And you didn't tell him? Is there anything else you're not telling him because it's so "stupid"? "Listen, love, I'm so sorry, I didn't know- Of course, I care, Who do you think I listen to if not you? Ran? Fucker used to think Julius Caeser was named after the salad."
That made you chuckle and it was like a rainbow after the storm for Rindou. A sound he never wants to stop hearing. smiling at you he continued.
"I do listen to you okay? I remember every little detail you tell me. Starting with the shows you watch to the drama going on at your work. By the way, Rika got what she deserved, she was being the bitch first."
"That's what I'm saying" You exclaim and Rindou was so happy he could see you smiling again.
"I don't want you to doubt your value in my life okay? You're the best thing ever happened to me and I'd be a dumbass if I didn't appreciate you. And don't ever try to hide things from me again. No matter how stupid you think it is. Nothing is stupid to me when it comes to you. So no more tears, alright?"
You nod scooting closer.
"alright"
Rindou wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you against his chest, kissing the crown of your head.
"By the way, I started reading this book because you suggested it. Kakuchou saw it in my car when I bought it and told me it was good"
"Really?"
"Yes, really. Sleep now"
"Goodnight"
"Goodnight, love"
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got the idea from modern family's one episode
might delete this one too later, not sure. just felt like sharing
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gyuswhore · 3 days
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Tugs and Strands
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anniversary event [closed]
boo seungkwan x reader
prompt(s): absentmindedly playing with their hair at all times
word count: >1k
[a/n]: wrote this so fast i loved this prompt with kwan so much 🥹
masterlist
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The first time Seungkwan hugged you, he buried his fingers in your hair. 
A couple months of fist bumps as greetings and linked arms under the pretense of a budding friendship, he hadn’t actually hugged you until after you practically trauma dumped on some park bench outside a convenience store. It was 3 AM, no one to witness your exchange aside from the teenager at the till with his headphones in, playing some shooting game that required aggressive taps and shakes of his phone screen. 
It was comforting, the usually scary empty alleyways and the faint smell of city smog all becoming part of the moment. 
Tear-stained cheeks, yet a light heart, you rest your cheek against his shoulder in an attempt to physically relax, registering the hand on your back that holds you tight, and the other that’s wound itself in your hair, pulling your head closer to him. 
You had thought it was simply a ‘hugging habit’ of his, having seen him guide the heads of your other friends who would hug him on whatever occasion. The particular preferences don’t truly set in until after you start dating. 
Innocent enough movie night, popcorn and chips ‘n dip long consumed and digested, all that’s left is Kwan’s flat coke that sits dejected on the coffee table. 
Hair falling free, head on your boyfriend’s shoulders, attention (mostly) on the screen in front of you. It isn’t until you’re nearing the climax that you fully realize that there’s something very gently shifting your hair. 
To your right, Seungkwan’s fingers have gotten hold of a small chunk of your hair, twirling the strands between his digits, curling them around his finger, and then letting them fall. He picks them back up to go back to playing with them like an infinitely more relaxing fidget toy. 
A quick glance at him and you realize he’s doing it subconsciously, his full attention on the scene that unfolds on the screen, eyes glazed yet concentrated. He feels your poignant stare and head shifting on his shoulder, turning to inquire. 
“What?” he asks. 
You shake your head, smiling a little as you rest your head back where it belongs, eyes training back to the film. 
“Do you want me to change the movie?” he asks. 
“Eyes on the screen, mister,” you huff humorously, taking a hand to his head to force it back forward. 
You notice him doing it more frequently after that, reaching a stage of attention where you feel weirdly empty without feeling in the roots of your hair. Perhaps it was strange, but it had become a crutch of sorts, a more physical stimulant for instant calm. 
The pinnacle, however, was when his hands would find your hair as you’d fall asleep, the familiar fingers playing with your strands having you snoring before you could even register falling asleep. 
It’s been a long day, your spine screaming for some scalding hot water and the plush of your comforter. It’s earlier in the night when you retire, planting a kiss on Seungkwan’s awaiting lips as you bid him an earlier than usual goodnight. He promises to join in a couple hours. 
“Do you want me to tuck you in?” he mumbles against your lips. 
“Mm mm,” you hum against his own. “I’m a big girl.”
You both have smiles on your faces as you part. 
The next thing you register as you open your heavy, bleary eyes is the familiar massage of fingers against your scalp and hair and a quiet hum of conversation beside you. 
When you come to, you realize it can’t be too much later as Seungkwan is on the phone with someone, ready for bed, back against the headboard. His fingers have found your head beside him, casting his usual comforting movements. 
“Yeah I saw the pictures, Bookkeu’s getting old, his fur looks wild.” He’s snickering, insults laced with affection for his dog that stays with his parents. He continues to very gently pat your resting hair. 
“Bad groomer? Are you sure your daughter hasn’t been slacking?” 
He speaks to his mother in a low voice, nothing that’s ever woken you before, but you don’t mind that you get to register the low buzz of his conversation paired with the free massage. Helps that he smells like heaven, picking up on his post shower dampness as you nuzzle your face into his waist, registering the oh so familiar scent of his stupidly overpriced body wash. 
He’s off the phone now, leaning in closer to whisper to you, “Hi baby, did I wake you?” 
You grunt out an incomprehensible noise that’s neither here nor there, too drunk on his scent and the way he’s petting you like a dog. You’re enjoying it too much, but so is he. 
Seungkwan only exhales in a laugh, clattering around his bedside table. You don’t try to decide what he’s doing, because you’re half gone already, waiting for the final push into dreamland. 
When you wake up, the room is a little brighter from the light that seeps in, Seungkwan’s arms rest beneath your head as a better pillow, and the hand that’s attached rests tangled in your hair. 
Right where it’s decided it belongs. 
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169 notes · View notes
milktei · 2 days
Text
Homecoming
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Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!reader
Genre: Sickfic, hurt comfort
Warnings: Slight manga spoilers
Requests: Closed*
a/n: hello hello! (is acting like i haven’t been gone for forever), can you believe i found this just sitting on a random note in my phone 90% done???? i literally wrote this over a year ago and never found the motivation to finish it ;-; due to its age toshi might be a bit ooc.
anyways, i’m not entirely back yet but i keep seeing lovely comments and reblogs that just make me want to start writing again ;-; maybe with the haikyuu movie being released soon my motivation will amp back up. ALSO i’m gonna try to start reblogging regularly again
*request box is still technically “closed” but if anyone has some genshin or *ahem* Baldurs gate 3 requests, i may be inclined to write if they pique my interest :)
enjoy!
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If there was one thing that you knew for an absolute fact. it would be that volleyball would always be his main priority.
You knew this well before you started dating him, it was part of the reason you refused to admit your true feelings for him. You refused to take him away from his first love. Something that he was so visibly passionate about.
So you stayed on the sidelines, watching wistfully as the boy you had a crush on rose higher and higher, while you stood on the ground looking up in awe. This was comfortable, you were content with just watching and admiring. It was all you thought you were able to do.
Until he had asked you out first.
You had genuinely thought that Tendou was joking when he had told you that the Ushijima Wakatoshi saw you as anything more than one of the team’s managers.
His face was always devoid of emotion. Your interactions were limited to him nodding in thanks as you gave him a towel or water bottle, or him humming in acknowledgment as you relayed to him the notes you took after the most recent practice match.
And yet you found yourself standing in front of him, just outside the gym after practice, heart absolutely racing as he asked you out on a date.
Your first date was awkward to say the least. Having never spoken outside of club activities, you found it hard to keep a conversation flowing as you two sat in a cafe sipping your drinks.
He had walked you back to your dorm that day, but before you could go in, he had grabbed your hand.
You stared in shock at the large hand enveloping yours, “Ushijima?”
Suddenly, you felt a tiny gust of wind and a slight pressure against your forehead. You could only stammer dumbly as you realized the pressure was his lips.
He pulled away after a moment. He was heavily avoiding eye contact and turned his head to the side, but you could see the tips of his ears turning red.
“I don’t know much when it comes to this stuff. But I know I would like to go out again… if that’s okay with you of course.”
You gaped at the boy in front of you “I- um we…” you took a deep breath to centre yourself and smiled “Yes I would like to go out with you again Ushijima.”
Your relationship progressed quite fast after that. More dates, hanging out with him and Tendou in their dorm.
You were there for everything, cheering him on during games, you were the first person he would seek out when he won, you comforted him after a loss.
Your relationship lasted through high school and even university. It wasn’t long before you two ended up moving in together.
When Wakatoshi found his place with the Schweiden Adlers you were ecstatic. You had also just landed a great job and it felt like your two were simply cruising through life with ease.
Unfortunately your seemingly perfect life would never last forever.
Being in the v-league, volleyball seemed to fill his schedule more now than ever. Constant practice, games outside of the city even in other countries sometimes.
You hardly saw Ushijima anymore despite living with him. Even when you did, he was tired or just about to leave for practice.
It felt like you were pushed back into the sidelines. Watching hopelessly as he rose higher and higher, to places where you could not reach. It was no longer comfortable, you could no longer look in awe, but in despair as you watch him slip from the already loose grasp you had on him.
You couldn’t even remember the last time you went on a date. Every time you mentioned doing something in his free time he had brushed you off.
Which led you to now.
You woke up to an empty bed yet again. It was your day off so you weren’t rushing to get out of bed.
Yet you felt off.
The dryness in your mouth and throat is what you felt first. Then how runny your nose was. Finally, the cold sweat you were experiencing.
You were definitely sick.
You groaned to yourself and pulled the blanket to your chin. Hoping that you could possibly sleep it off.
Yet your efforts were in vain. After what felt like hours of trying to fall back asleep you realized that you were just going to feel even more miserable without anything to eat or at least drink.
You pushed yourself up onto your elbows and immediately regretted it. The world spun around you and your entire body shook. You collapsed back onto your pillow and panted at the exertion it took.
As you caught your breath you turned your head towards your bedside table, where your phone sat charging.
Weakly, you lifted your arm and with a bit of effort you were able to grab your phone. As it turned on you winced at how bright the screen was and with bleary eyes you managed to open your contacts.
The words seemed to blend together as you searched through your contacts, you nearly sobbed in relief as your eyes finally focused on the name of your best friend.
You clicked the call button and dropped you hand to beside your ear, preparing for the way your throat would undoubtedly hurt as you spoke.
After a couple rings you heard the person on the other side pick up and you quickly began speaking, desperate to get them to come quickly so that you could hopefully feel better.
“Hey, I’m sorry if you’re busy but do you think you can bring me some drinks and maybe food? i’m not feeling the best and I don’t know if I can get up at all.”
The person on the other end of the phone began talking but you could barely decipher it as your head spun and your body shivered despite how warm you were.
“-/n….y/n?”
You froze at the deep voice on the other side of the phone. You pulled away an looked at the screen, nearly breaking down at the sight of Wakatoshi’s name instead of your friends. Quickly you put it back against your ear
“Ah I’m sorry Toshi. I meant to call a friend you’re probably busy you don’t have to come back home.” you said quickly, actually sitting up as you rambled nervously, reprimanding yourself for interrupting his practice.
You had called and texted him during practice before. At one point he was fine with it, responding during breaks or calling you back once practice had finished. But lately you had been greeted with one worded responses, or you were just ignored.
One time you even tried to pry once he got home from practice, asking him about his odd lack of response. That day, he had turned to glare at you.
“I’m busy y/n. I don’t have time for things like that.”
“You’re sick?” your thoughts were interrupted by his voice again. He used a tone much gentler than the one he had used that day.
“A little bit, nothing to worry about I can just call-“ you cut yourself off with a harsh cough, unable to hold back the whimper as your throat throbbed in protest.
“I’m coming home.”
Whether from his words or the fever you couldn’t tell, but a chill ran down your spine
“N-no toshi you don’t have to I’ll be fine don’t leave practice just because of me”
“I’ll stop by the store for some ingredients don’t get out of bed.”
And with that the call ended. Slowly, you took the phone away from your ear and looked at it in shock. He was leaving practice early. Something you weren’t aware he was willing to ever do.
At least not recently.
Only when the shock settled, did you realize just how much your body was protesting you sitting up. So, despite your better judgment, you lied back down, waiting in nervous anticipation for him to come home.
What might have been half an hour felt like forever as you laid in bed. Shivering underneath the comforter despite sweating profusely, rubbing your nose raw from having to blow it constantly, all whilst it felt like you were spinning.
In your haze you didn’t even hear the front door or you bedroom door open. How could you when your body demanded all the attention you had?
Wakatoshi stood frozen in the doorway, a plastic bag hanging off his arm, silent as he took in the state you were in.
How hadn’t he noticed before he left? you couldn’t have possibly entered this state within the couple of hours he was gone.
He felt a tug of unease pull at his heart and willed himself to walk up to you.
“y/n,” he called softly. sitting on your side of the bed.
You flinched at the sound of his voice not knowing he was in the room. Slowly, you opened your eyes and winced at the light in the room.
“Toshi,” you croaked pathetically.
His face softened and he brushed your damp hair away from your face, frowning when he felt how warm your forehead was.
“Hey,” he greeted, he lifted a hand and that’s when you saw a thermometer from the medicine cabinet in his hand “can you open your mouth please?“
Weakly, you did as he asked, and as it sat in your mouth, he quickly walked towards the master bathroom. Mumbling something about a towel.
You didn’t hear him however as you turned your head back towards the ceiling and already felt your eyes drooping again.
You only came to when you felt something cool against your forehead, you opened your eyes to see Toshi looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows. The thermometer beeped and when he looked at the reading the crease deepened.
Toshi disappeared for a moment again, making his presence known when he began to take the comforter off of you.
You whined as he did so, shivering even harder as air hit your body. You even sat up to try and grab it back.
“‘s cold toshi,” you slurred.
He was quick to place a thinner sheet on top of you “I know dear, but we have to get your body temperature down.”
As you pulled the blanket closer Wakatoshi opened the bag he brought with him. You heard the rattle of a pill container and then the crack of a bottle being opened. Wakatoshi turned to you and held out some medicine and water.
You reached out a shaky hand to take the medicine, placing the pill in your mouth. Wakatoshi helped you hold the bottle, noting how weak your arms were.
You sighed in temporary relief when you finished drinking, glad that your mouth felt less dry.
Wakatoshi allowed a small relieved smile to cross his face and he quickly helped you lay back down.
“I’ll make you some food, stay here.”
Once he was sure you were comfortable he made his way to the kitchen quickly getting his ingredients ready.
It was only when he was midway through washing some rice when he took a moment to pause.
When was the last time he had cooked for you?
Wakatoshi continued his task albeit feeling guilty thinking about how you’ve been the one cooking and eating dinner alone for some time now. It used to be a shared responsibility. Now he usually came home late so you would put a plate aside for him or he would go out to eat with the team.
He was still deep in though as he pushed the bedroom door open with his back, a tray consisting of a bowl of rice porridge and a cup of tea left a trail small trail of steam as he walked.
You were asleep but woke easily at the sound of his footsteps. It took a moment for your eyes to focus on him.
He gestured with the tray, “Do you think you can eat?”
You looked at the food, perfectly plated and garnished, your mouth watering slightly at the savoury smell.
“I think so. At least a little bit.”
He helped you sit up, and when he saw the weakness still in your arms he fed you himself.
You hummed contently at the first bite of food. You had missed this more than you thought you did.
After about half the bowl was done and your tea finished, you signalled that you stomached as much as your body would allow. Now with your body temperature having gone down and your stomach full you could feel yourself becoming less and less loopy. You watched quietly as he put the tray on the bedside table. When he was finished with that, he sat still on the bed and stared at the wall.
You looked at his face, despite it deceptively lacking emotion, you knew better than anyone else that something was bothering him.
However before you could ask he began to speak
“Why wasn’t I the first person you contacted when you realized that you were sick?”
You froze, looking down in your lap fiddling wIth a loose thread in the blanket.
“…Well…you’ve been busy as of late….I didn’t think it was important enough to take you out of practice. Someone less busy would have probably been willing to come.”
He slowly turned to face you. “You didn’t think that your wellbeing was important enough?”
You shrugged, “Well volleyball is always going to be your biggest priority. I’m just sick it’ll pass.”
Obvious distress crossed Ushijima’s face “y/n, you are my main priority.”
You paused. Perhaps it was time to tell him how you were really feeling instead of dancing around the subject.
“…It hasn’t felt that way lately.” you say hesitantly, your voice small.
Wakatoshi faltered. You kept looking down, almost scared to look him in the eye.
“I was content with that at first, your love of volleyball is admirable, it’s was drew me to you at first. But it always made you seem unattainable. When you asked me on that date all those years ago I was over the moon,” you paused to clear your throat huffing in annoyance as your sickness interrupted you.
“But I can only endure so much Toshi. Nowadays it feels like your going where I can’t reach. You’re always busy, which is understandable for a professional athlete… I just wish it wasn’t to the point where I’m worried about your reaction if I were to try to talk to you.”
There was a shift in the mattress. Then familiar arms that you had been longing for wrapped tightly around you.
“Toshi you’re gonna get sick.”
“It’s fine,”
“but-“
“I’m sorry y/n.”
you stiffened but stayed quiet to let him speak.
“You’ve done so much for me without complaint and I have done so little in return. i’m sorry for letting it get to this point. It took you getting this sick for me to realize.”
A stormy look crossed his face, “I… I’ve been struggling to balance work and home, in return I’ve been neglecting you and letting how tired I am influence my reactions. you don’t deserve that. you are my first priority y/n, I don’t know what I would do without you.”
You sniffled and wiped a tear that fell from your face. You didn’t even know you were crying. For a man usually so quiet and stoic, he always knew what to say to you when he needed to. It was always so endearing to you.
“If I had known you were going to take it this well I would’ve said something earlier,” you say softly.
He smiles sadly, “I haven’t been making it seem that way hmm?”
You shake you’re head but smile back, “no”
He sighs to himself but places a gentle kiss against your forehead much like how he did all those years ago. Your eyes flutter shut and you make let out a pleased sigh. You were much more comfortable than you were when you first woke up.
“We’ll talk more once you get better. I promise,” He eventually says. holding you a bit closer to him.
You nodded and snuggled closer to his chest. While it wasn’t an immediate fix, it was a start.
“Sounds good to me Toshi.”
He smiled down at you “Sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
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tiredfox64 · 3 days
Note
🔆 you’re popping off. your writing rocks brah.
I was hoping maybe you could do Raiden and Kung Lao fighting over readers (fem/afab) attention. Like back and forth jabs. And like Kung Lao trying to show off, kinda talks down on raiden in front of her. where as Raiden takes a more gentle approach with helping the reader with their training, helping her with her form he’ll glance at Kung Lao knowingly. It builds a small wedge between them, so reader decides to invite both over one night. And like you know that movie challengers? Like the zendaya scene where she’s got the two guys kissing her? Like THAT. LIKE THAT. If you can do this. I’ll piss rainbows. 🌈
Are You Challenging Me?
Prior notes: I had only the trailer to work off of so I hope I got things right. Also what a statement from you at the end. It’s not bad it’s unique and I like it.
Pairings: Kung Lao x Afab reader x Raiden
Warnings ‼️: Suggestive at the end
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Even those who have been friends for so long can end up fighting over something. That something could be a girl. That girl would be you.
No one has ever seen Raiden and Kung Lao turn a friendly competition into a serious one. Constant bickering and jabs at each other that turn to hisses from nasty remarks. You would only see this kind of tension from middle school boys or some cheesy teen movie from the 2000s. Ah but boys will be boys. Who can blame them?
You are the prettiest girl they’ve ever seen. Not just that but you are tough and always willing to learn more. That’s why you train with them so much. Well, it used to be training. Things have changed since you came around. Mostly their attitude and their closeness.
You knew Kung Lao was cocky and boastful, even for a Shaolin monk. The things he did in front of you made the other monks groan in frustration and caused Raiden to shake his head in disapproval. He was always calling for your attention.
“Hey! Hey! Look! I can spin as fast as a tornado!” “Check this out! I can beat up five guys at once!” “I bet Raiden can’t strike as fast as I can! What do you think?”
That was the usual stuff you would hear. Though comparing himself to Raiden was mostly common. He would put Raiden down the moment he had the chance. It would go beyond fighting and go into ridiculous stuff.
He can eat more than Raiden. He can jump higher than Raiden. He can stay up later than Raiden. Everything Raiden could do, Kung Lao could do better. He’ll prove it again right now.
Kung Lao ran up to you and Raiden, almost crashing right into him.
“Hey Raiden, how about another fight? Whoever loses has to pay the next time we visit Madame Bo’s.” Kung Lao was hoping he would say yes just so he could beat Raiden up.
“I can’t, Kung Lao. Can’t you see we are busy?”
“Oh I see. You’re afraid of losing again. Bet you’re afraid of embarrass yourself in front of her. Don’t worry, I get it.” He patted Raiden on the back before letting out a laugh like he successfully humiliated him.
“That’s not it,” he rolls his eyes before speaking, “I’m helping her with training right now. We can fight soon just let me finish up here.”
Raiden loved to help you and you were grateful for that. Though it always seemed like you needed adjusting when it came to your form or help when stretching. Even if you are a centimeter off he had to correct you. Guess he is a perfectionist. Or maybe he is sneaky.
Raiden came behind you and placed his hands on your waist. His foot tapped yours to make it move to the side more. You didn’t notice but he gave a light squeeze to your waist. He wished he could wrap his arms around you but now is not the time. Though it would upset Kung Lao a lot.
His hands traced up your arms till they were at your head. Your face was so soft he wanted to kiss it. But all he can do now is adjust it. Raiden glanced at Kung Lao and saw he was almost seething with rage. For once he decided to be a little cruel to his dear friend.
He went down till his face was inches away from your thigh. His hands grabbed at the tantalizing piece of flesh before him and turned it slightly. Now your form was perfect.
Kung Lao couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Though Raiden’s straw hat was concealing his eyes it could not conceal that smirk on his face. He knows exactly what he was doing. He’s just too good at hiding his devilish intentions behind a sweet, kissable face.
It seems that no matter how many time Kung Lao shows off, Raiden will always be the winner here. He’s the one who gets to touch you.
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You’re not dense you can feel that something is wrong. There is tension in the air and it only appears when Kung Lao and Raiden are in the same vicinity.
You have been keeping a close eye on their relationship. They have been drifting apart for some time now. Everyone can see that. What you didn’t get was why. You were missing the signs. You missed the glances Raiden would give to Kung Lao. You missed the fact that Kung Lao would only call for your attention, not anyone else’s.
You had to do something about this. It would be a shame if their friendship crumbled over something silly. Whatever that silly thing was.
Inviting them over to your place was a great start. Though they might be shocked when they see each other at your place. You might have left that out on purpose.
══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══
“What the—what are you doing here, Raiden?”
“What am I doing here? I should be asking you the same thing, Kung Lao.”
They both stared at each other with mouths agape. They were confused as if the possible reason was outlandish. It’s not like there is a universal rule that you can only invite one person to your place.
“What are you two standing there for? Come inside, you’ll catch your deaths out there.” You called for them.
They didn’t even realize you opened the door. But now that they do they were racing to get it. Kung Lao pushed Raiden out of the way, leaving him with a disappointed expression.
Your place was well decorated and well kept. It’s only you living in this small house. That doesn’t make it any less of a home. Your house expresses you which the boys really like. They followed you closely but realize you were heading in the direction of your room. There was hesitation, especially from Raiden. Why not just stay in the living room? What gives?
You don’t have time for this stupidity. You grabbed their hands and dragged them into your room. They always imagined being in your room , of course that fantasy always involved you on the bed and the other one not being there. Clearly none of that good stuff will happen, right?
“Alright, sit down, I need to ask you guys something.” You plopped down on your bed.
The bed is off limits in their minds. The chairs? No. The bean bag? No. The floor? Probably a safe bet.
They sat in front of you, looking up at you like loving puppies waiting to be loved by their master. That’s not the first order of business tonight. Don’t be fooled by their eyes. There is still a wedge between them.
“Mind telling me what’s got you two so bothered. Don’t act like I haven’t noticed your strange behavior recently. I’m concerned about you guys.”
They can tell that you really care just by the tone of your voice. But a silence still hung in the air. Kung Lao nor Raiden wanted to speak the truth. It’s awkward, especially with your bro there. Kung Lao’s cockiness got to him though, reminding him of who he is. He shouldn’t be afraid so he’ll say it.
“I want you to be my girlfriend.” He declared.
Well that was a shock. You know what else shocked you? Raiden.
“I want you to be my girlfriend.” He said as well.
They glared at each other after saying that. They don’t even acknowledge the fact that you were sitting there with a confused expression. It’s not usual for two men to ask you out at the same time, in the same way. It was at least straight forward. You snapped your fingers at them to bring their attention back to you. Like the good boys they are they obey.
“How often does this happen? Going after the same girl?” You asked.
“Not as often as you think.” Raiden responded.
“We usually have different types.” Kung Lao chimed in.
This is weird. Somehow you were the connection between them when it came to types yet at the same time being the wedge between them.
“So…are you saying I should be flattered?”
“Aren’t you everybody’s type?” Kung Lao said it so innocently that it was smooth. He does good when he’s not trying too hard.
Think about this for yourself now. It’s no lie that you like them both. They have their own quirk that draws you in. You love Raiden’s kindness yet ability to be brutal while in battle. He works hard and is willing to guide others to try hard as well. Kung Lao’s cockiness can be annoying to others but it enriches you. It gives him confidence and the ability to think of new ideas. That razor-rimmed hat didn’t come out of thin air. There is so much you can say and love about them. But which one do you choose?
Alright, you have an idea. A weird one but it’s an idea.
“Come here.” You motioned for them to join you on your bed.
“Which one of us?” Kung Lao asked but Raiden was already up and running to your bed. Kung Lao got there just as quick as he did.
Nothing else was said from you. You only had actions. You leaned into Raiden first, bringing his head closer to yours. Your lips captured his in a passionate kiss. It was just like everything he imagined. Your lips were soft and had the slightest hint of vanilla that came from your favorite lip balm. He was practically melting in the palm of your hands as he wished this could last forever. But you pulled away, you have someone else to get to.
When you turned towards Kung Lao he has an upset expression on his face. It turned to shock the moment he felt your lips against his. That softness and the taste of vanilla enchanted him. He almost turned the passionate kiss into a whole make out session. That desperation to have you and touch you himself was building up for quite a while. He doesn’t want to hold himself back. But just like with Raiden you pulled away.
From the kisses you gave to them you came to the conclusion that you like them both equally. You don’t want to break either one of their hearts since it will break yours as well. So why not have both men. This can do good in bringing their friendship together again. It might even make it stronger. Yeah, this can work out. And you would have told them but they came to a similar conclusion as well. That will be discussed later.
For now you are more focused on their lips that are leaving kisses all over your neck. It makes your body heat rise up and causes a stir between your legs. Their hands are all over you. Kung Lao’s reaches for your neck to hold it still while Raiden’s reaches for your chest. You whimper at the sensation of their tongues lightly licking your skin. Kung Lao thinks it best to stay leaving hickeys on you. It will show everyone who you belong to. Raiden should do the same so that all know that you belong to them.
They lightly push you back against your bed. There is a hunger in their eyes. One that has built up for days. Raiden just can’t wait to hold you close as Kung Lao goes to town on you.
There is no shame is wanting this as well. Don’t hide that devious smirk from them. It will let them know to keep going.
You know what they say. Sharing is caring. And they care for you a lot.
After notes: If you’re gonna piss rainbows do it in the ditch I dug. If a skittle don’t fall out imma be disappointed. I have a sneaking suspicion that imma be asked of more from this. I didn’t want to push it beyond anything I’m sorry if you wanted more. Now I must finish eating before I mentally prepare myself for my class tonight. Adiós!
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too-antigonish · 22 hours
Text
Morse and drinking in the 70s...
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Long....because I can't write short. And obviously, a lot of you will already know this stuff...
Just want to take a moment to talk about alcohol and alcoholism in the context of the early 1970s and remind folks of how totally and completely different it is from how we see it today.
Drunk driving had not been outlawed in most countries. Not only that, it was widely regarding as funny—funny enough to be used as a regular “gag” in movies. Problem drinking was also seen as funny. There were regular cartoon strips about it. The “drunk” was a funny stock character in all sorts of plays and movies.
Alcohol was ubiquitous. We’re not just talking liquid lunches. We’re talking drinking at work, while you work—just as you see in Endeavour. Think about that for a second.
And politely saying no wasn’t something you did without social consequences. It wasn’t just seen as a personal preference. Unless you had a specific, acceptable reason, turning down a drink was often seen as stand-offish and judgmental or as a social snub. Teetotalism was regarded as rather naive and ridiculous—not something any man or woman of the world would embrace.
In the early 1970s, there was no widespread understanding of alcoholism as a disease. It was still seen very much as the consequence of personal weakness—still a matter of “If you cared enough or tried hard enough, you wouldn’t do this so it must be a character flaw.”
Plus, most people, “normal” people don’t have problems with alcohol, so if you do then there’s something abnormal and defective about you—most likely something you brought upon yourself.
And as a “personal weakness” and a “defect,” the shame around it was profound and the secrecy matched. If someone went away for treatment, it was very much akin to an unwed mother going off to have her baby and then returning without the child. You never spoke of it. You pretended that it had never happened.
If you were a kind person, you also didn’t go out of your way to parade babies in front of her or talk constantly about children when she was with you. But refer to it directly? Never. Ask for help? Never. It was always something to be hidden. Everyone did their best to forget that it had ever happened and saw this as the "kindest" thing to do.
When Morse returns from his “cure,” it would simply be assumed that everyone would pretend that nothing unusual has happened. Why he’s  just been off on a tour of the West Country and nothing else! Hope you had a lovely time! That sort of polite fiction was exactly what he would have expected upon his return. Anything more direct—at least in a public setting—would have been shocking to him and everyone else.
Where things break down, however, is in the more personal interactions. His relationship with Thursday is such that they can at least broach the topic of drinking. When they do, my impression is that Thursday is well-aware that Morse not “cured.” However, in the context of the time, saying this would be akin to saying, "You failed," because there was no disease model of alcholism in widespread use. You went to be cured and it worked or it didn't.
However, I'd also add that Thursday is almost to the breaking point with the cumulative strain he is under. He can’t cope with the “burden” of Morse being in a precarious state and he knows it. He feels desperately guilty about that—as well as about other things like Strange and Joan or about life having moved on so much while Morse was gone—and so he just shuts down. 
Shutting down is Thursday’s go-to strategy when he’s overwhelmed. We’ve seen him do it many times before. And part of that for him, is that he pretends that the people around him are ok—even if they are anything but ok. Not surprisingly, he does it the most with the people he has the closest emotional ties with—Win, Joan, Sam, and Morse.
So the only way that Thursday can cope is by having Morse be perfectly fine. Conveniently, his preferred coping strategy fits exactly with his society's expectations about how alcoholism works. If Morse is "cured," you don’t need to worry about sparing him the constant offers of alcohol in the same way that the young unwed mother might hope to be spared babies. You certainly wouldn’t embarrass him (especially after he’s been through the humiliation of rehab) by drawing attention in any way to a possible to the idea that he still has a problem. 
And finally, a last note on time context. The scene in the pub where Morse has that first drink after finding out that Joan is marrying Jim is utterly heartbreaking for so many reasons. One of those reasons, however, is that we know it’s the first drink—and that the first drink leads to the second, and so on and so forth. Then Morse says to Thursday, “They said the, the odd beer, the odd shot, does no harm…"Everything in moderation," they said,”  and we automatically assume he’s lying.
I’m fairly sure that those scenes were meant to be interpreted through our modern viewpoint. However, it’s worth noting that again, the model of alcoholism in the 1970s was nothing like what we have today. The idea that someone with a drinking problems/addictions needs to abstain entirely was not even close to universal at that point. It’s perfectly possible that the advice Morse is quoting is the advice he received!
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I have a fluffy idea for once! No prompts from the list, just brain thoughts:
Adam has been staying in the hotel for a few months, very reluctant to participate at first, but slowly warming up to it. Him and Lucifer had a long conversation about Eden at some point, and since then they've gotten increasingly domestic with each other. While they're not openly in a relationship, they'll sleep in the same bed, have movie nights together, cook together, and be generally affectionate. They try to be subtle about it, but Husk and Angel both picked up on it rather quickly, choosing to keep it between the two of them that they knew.
Cut to the moment: Charlie set up a bonding activity for hotel residents! Ballroom dancing, to build teamwork, trust, and coordination. They switch partners a few times, but of course Luci and Adam end up together eventually. The two of them, having both been important figures in heaven at some point, definitely have ballroom dancing experience, and it shows when they dance with each other. Once the music reaches its end, they're so caught up in each other that they end it with a kiss... in front of everyone. Ensue dramatic reveals, probably some flustered Adam, Charlie being baffled, momentarily angry, and then just really enthusiastic. Them finally getting to be saccharinely domestic with others present :))
Feel free to do with that what you will, I just wanted some domestic fluff <3
Indigo (aroace, lonely, and coping through fictional ships)
AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!!! IT'S SO FLUFFY IM GONNA DIE! LOL
At first Adam was only at the hotel for salvation, to not be murdered a million times over by blood thirsty sinners who wanted revenge.
He tolerated Charlie and her stupid exercises, he was present for them but never really participated. Until one day he said to Hell with it and gave one of them a try. It wasn't bad, but still dumb in his opinion.
At some point he had befriended the porn star Angel Dust and by proxy his boyfriend Husk. Turns out they had a lot more in common than Adam originally thought. They would go out drinking and shoot the shit, it was nice to have friends.
Lucifer was an issue in and of himself. He sold his soul to the guy in exchange for protection and it had been awkward being around him in the beginning.
It's been six months now and Lucifer said he wanted to talk to him. Adam has thought he was in trouble for something he might have done.
But no. The king wanted to talk about Eden. REALLY talk about Eden. He even apologized for his role for the downfall of the garden. They sat on Lucifer's bed talking for hours about Eden, the good and the bad. When he even apologized about taking Lilith, Adam told him not to worry about it. It took him leaving the garden to realize she wasn't his type.
They talked so long they fell asleep. That was the first time they shared a bed and from then on, it felt weird NOT to. So they just shared a bed, it just kind of happened.
Adam remembers the first time they cooked together, it was breakfast with the works. That's kind of how he found out he is shit at cooking. So instead he would hand Lucifer the ingredients and the King would cook the food. He remembers when Lucifer placed his hands on his hips to sneak by and how the touch made Adams heart race.
Adam and Lucifer shared lingering touches that lasted a moment or two too long. How their eyes would lock and they would share gentle smiles when they thought no one was looking.
Angel and Husk saw all of this but didn't say a word. The couple would go public when they were ready.
One thing Adam could make was microwave popcorn. Which him and Lucifer shared as they watched horror movies, snuggled up on the couch, sharing a blanket with their fingers laced together underneath. Adam's head would rest in the crook of Lucifer's shoulder. Sometimes Adam would fall asleep and wake up in their bed.
They weren't exclusive with a defined label, but what they did have was nice.
Today, Charlie wanted to do a new trust exercise. "We'll be doing ballroom dancing! It's a great way to build trust and have fun at the same time. Now, everyone grab a partner. We'll trade off every now and then."
"Piece of cake." Adam said, he had lots of dancing experience from being in heaven. What he didn't expect was to be teamed up with Alastor first. "Keep your fucking hands where I can see them, asshole."
"Trust me, I don't want to touch you any more than you want me touching you." The music started and they began dancing. Adam saw Alastors eyes look over his shoulder, that's when the radio demon brought him in closer. His hand on Adams waist, the fallen angel thought he might be sick. "But if it pisses him off, I suppose I can suck it up."
Adam creased his brow and looked over his shoulder behind him. If looks could kill, Lucifer would have had the deer demon explode into chuck sized pieces. His face softened when he saw Adam looking at him.
"Switch!" Charlie called out.
Now Adam was dancing with Vaggie, much better than that freak. They didn't speak the whole time, which was fine.
"Switch!"
This time, finally Adam was pulled into Lucifer's arms. He smiled at him as they swayed together in perfect harmony, the music moving them. "Hey."
"Hey, did that asshole hurt you?"
Adam snorted. "No, that was just to piss you off." He felt Lucifers arm tighten around his waist bringing him closer. "But if I said yes, would you beat that fucker up?"
"I'd do it just because he touched you." Lucifer meant it, he didn't need a real reason to go deer hunting, but if that fucker laid a hand on Adam he'd kill him.
Adam felt his heart flutter, butterflies danced in his stomach. "I feel so special."
Lucifer twirled Adam outward and pulled him back in. "You are special. To me especially."
They stared into each other's eyes, Adam could get lost there forever. It's like nothing else existed but them. The music stopped but they didn't let go of one another. Adam and Lucifer kept eye contact a few moments more before Adam felt a hand in his hair, with half lidded eyes he looked at Lucifer's lips as he looked at Adam's. The hand in his hair guided him closer until their lips met in a tender kiss.
Adam opened his mouth when Lucifer's tongue licked at his lips asking for entrance and deepening the kiss. Adam sighed softly as the hand in his hair grazed the base of his horns, his own hands clung to Lucifer's shoulders holding him close.
"Dad what the fuck!?"
Adam and Lucifer pulled apart like they had been burned. Oh no! Everyone fucking saw them makeout like a couple of teenagers. They shared looks of shock. They never slipped up like this. They turned to see everyone looking at them with varying degrees of emotions.
"I fucking called it." Angel said looking smug, Husk handed him a twenty.
Adam felt like his face was on fire, embarrassment starting to set in. He was getting uncomfortable with everyone looking at him like a fucking zoo exhibit.
"Charlie I can explain." Lucifer started.
"Explain what? That you've been seeing Adam behind my back and didn't tell me? Cause that was a very passionate kiss."
Adam wanted to die a third time. He put his face in his hands. He was sure all the blood in his body was in his face. "God dammit." He swore under his breath.
"Charlie, dear. Don't be mad, I didn't want to say anything to you until I was sure how I felt."
"How do you feel?" She asked.
Lucifer removed one of Adams hands from his face, Adam looked at him and swore he melted at how gentle that look was. "I, I care a lot about him. Adam makes me happy in a way I haven't felt in a long time."
Adam felt the same way. "So do I." It came out just above a whisper, just for Lucifer to hear. His smile was so wide it hurt his face.
Charlie looked at them and her temper simmered away into nothing. Oh. "I'm glad you're happy dad. I just wish this wasn't how I found out about you guys."
"I'm sorry Char, we kinda, got lost in the moment."
"Like right now?" Angel chimed in. "For the record, you guys dance amazing together. I can only imagine what it looks like when you fu- ow! Husk!"
Husk had pinched him. "No one wants that mental picture."
"Are you mad?" Adam finally asked.
Charlie sighed. "All I want is for my dad to be happy. If that's with you, then so be it. Just don't hurt each other." That would be one hell of a break up.
"Thank you, Charlie." Lucifer said. He pulled Adam back in for another kiss, this one sweet and soft. Adam's heart raced and thrummed with joy.
"Get a room you two!" Angel yelled.
That they could definitely do.
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Today...is a very special and important day for me, folks~💝😊Three years ago, a certain special troll became the highlight of my 2020 during rough times and immediately won my heart from the moment I knew he would have his own destiny and journey to find others like him...and his family. Since the first Trolls movie, I have always admired dearly him from afar and the moment I saw him during the Trolls World Tour trailer, my heart literally poured out him and I have truly loved him for just being his wonderful, lovable self ever since~💘🥹 And that certain special troll, is none other than...Cooper~💗🌈✨
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I have always been a big fan of him and he’s always been my favourite troll to begin with but every time I see him and hear him, my heart always beats so much for him, making it aflutter and words cannot describe how special he is to me...how he means the whole world to me~💞🌈💗🌈💞I mean...can you blame me? >//w//`< How could I resist and say no to such an adorable face to go with such a darling like him??💖😍💖😍💖 Cooper is more than just the goofball that we all know and love...he’s my goofball and so much more...~🥹The most amazing troll with such talent, a unique voice and a dazzling yet loving royal family to go with him...~🌟Cooper is also the prince of my heart, who deserves all the love and happiness in the world...and I feel so blessed to be the one to give it all to him, along with my heart~🥰💝💝🥰 April 24th 2020 was the day I drew Cooper for the very first time, and when I started shipping myself with him. And together, him and I have remained strong and inseparable ever since!🫶🏻😌💕We’ve had such happy memories together - becoming part of his world and family, sharing one another’s lives and music, even officially marrying and creating our own dear little life together~✨💜💗💚✨And I wish to keep on loving Cooper forevermore~💓😊
Which is why I dedicate this very special piece above (with a textless version too) to us, inspired by one of my favourite scenes in TWT - where King Quincy and Queen Essence were happily together with their twin eggs (before our dear Cooper was cruelly snatched away from them😭) and I wished to capture that tender moment between Cooper and I, with our darling Toby's egg nestled warmly within my hair~🥰 EEEEEEE~!!😍🤩😍I am so, sooooo happy and truly over the moon of how all of this turned out~!💖🥹💖Just how I imagined it, especially Cooper snuggling against me with his neck wrapped around me as we lovingly embrace one another, feeling like the proud parents we are~💜💗💚😚I am also chuffed with the cherry blossoms I drew to make the bed cover look more prettier~🌸 I would like to deeply and gratefully thank many wonderful peeps out there for helping bring my beloved OTP to life, such as my lovely @x-elyssa-x, KaitlinEXE, @gloryraiin, @jaguardorado16, @vampireflowerarts, @zoey-nillesen, @king-trollex-fangirl, @glitchy-witchy1994, @blooeyedtroll, @kittyball23, @angoraram, @yeenstrollart, @asa-de-ouro, @whiteflame-selfship and many more, for all the beautiful commissions, gift art and loving support you have given me over the past four years, and for putting all your fantastic work and effort, and heart and soul into every single one which I absolutely love to this very day~💞🌟💙💜💛💚🌟💞 I can’t thank you all and the rest of the Trolls Fandom enough for how amazing and welcoming you’ve all been to me when I first jumped onto the bandwagon, and I am so happy I did too!💖🤗Thank-you all so much for everything, including all the dear friends I’ve made and all the loving supporters I have gained - bless you all and don’t stop being awesome~!✌🏻🤩✨💕 And finally, thank-you ever so much for everything, Cooper...my cupcake king and sweet jellybean~🩷���🧁🫂For always being there for me, making me feel such love and happiness I never could imagine~💝🥰🌈I am truly blessed and the luckiest lass alive to such a wonderful darling like you in my life and by my side~💗😇🪽U///w///U
🎊💜♓💗♎💚🎉~Happy 4th Anniversary, Cooper...my beloved prince, my one & only...~ I love you so much with all my heart, more than life itself...and I will keep on loving you so, forevermore and beyond~🎉💜♓💗♎💚🎊
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*~Reblogs are also deeply appreciated as well, so please do reblog as well as like! Thank-you kindly!~*
Cooper (c) DreamWorks Trolls/DreamWorks Animation
Trollsona Jussy/Justina Butterfly & Toby/Toby's Egg (c) @jade-green-butterfly​ (Me~!)
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talesofsymphoniac · 3 days
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It's interesting to me that Akio/Dios are portrayed so differently in the movie vs the anime. Broadly speaking, in the anime Akio is a menacing figure (albeit charming at times) and Dios seems more benevolent.
Whereas in the movie Akio is kind of a joke?? His flipping over the car hood is silly and dainty and frilly instead of this display of sexual power, he's full on panicking because he doesn't have as much control over Anthy as he thought, he's lost his keys, he falls out of his own window.
And in the movie, it's Dios who is scary, and appears at the end of the car chase to intimidate Anthy into going back. Dios is the final boss.
And since I interpret the movie as from Anthy's POV/in her headspace, I see that as a reflection of how she views Akio in the present vs Dios in the past.
Akio, as of the end of the anime, is not someone who Anthy respects anymore. He's foolish, because he didn't see the meaning in Utena's actions, and she sees that all his posturing is just that: posturing.
Dios, though? Dios is the one she loved, and cared about, and did everything she ever did for. Dios was Anthy's prince, and to leave the school isn't just to leave Akio, it's also to leave behind this idealized memory of what he was-- and, by extension, what Anthy was with him.
It's important to note that Anthy never really wanted to be saved from Akio. She wanted "a prince she could believe in," and that was Dios until he "became" Akio (however you choose to interpret that). Later, she saw Dios in Utena-- a new prince she could believe in, even if she couldn't bring herself to do so until the last moment.
But I think the point which the anime alludes to and which the movie hammers home is that Dios is NOT Anthy's savior, he's a piece of her prison. She needs to overcome and outgrow him as much as she needed to overcome Akio.
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ivantillz · 14 hours
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kiss me;
ivantill, 8.7k read on ao3
For a second he just stood there dumbly, eyes wide open. He heard a gasp from the side then a whispered, “I thought they weren’t actually supposed to kiss here?” Till hadn’t prepared himself for this, but he knew he couldn’t risk ruining the scene even more. Eyelashes fluttering, he closed his eyes and cupped Ivan’s face, kissing him back with fervor.
Till couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. Surely he had misheard, or maybe he hadn’t actually woken up this morning and he was still dreaming.
His manager looked as real as ever, though, staring at him with a hint of knowing amusement. He couldn’t stand her sometimes. (He loved her.)
“I thought you’d be excited,” she sighed dramatically, crossing her arms. “I guess maybe we should consider pulling out of the movie and – ”
His hand jerked out without his permission, fast as lightning, grabbing her arm. “Don’t even joke about that, Mizi.”
Her answering grin was all teeth. “They’ll want to do a chemistry read, first,” she put her hand over his. “Don’t get too excited. Nothing is guaranteed yet.”
For all they knew, he wouldn’t even get cast. Or if he did, maybe they’d kick Till off the project and replace him if their chemistry wasn’t promising enough. He really hoped it would be. But either way, he would be meeting him.
Till felt himself grinning before he could stop it, “I’m meeting Ivan.”
-
Till couldn’t recall the exact moment he discovered Ivan. To be fair, most people probably couldn’t. He was everywhere, it seemed – commercials, movies, television, even music videos.
What he could recall – as clear as if it’d happened yesterday – was the feeling he had felt. It was like a dam had opened and there was no stopping it. He realized he wanted more out of life.
He didn’t just want to continue being an extra on every set, the side-character who was killed off after one or two episodes.
Since then, he’d been able to build a decent name for himself. He wasn’t Ivan, by any means, but he was well-known enough to get the lead in an upcoming highly anticipated movie. And if the universe smiled upon him, just one last time, he would hopefully get to have Ivan as his love interest.
-
“I am running on exactly two hours of sleep, by the way.”
Mizi snorted, side-eyeing him. “I can tell,” she teased, and he knew it was just that: a joke but he still couldn’t help the sudden rush of insecurity.
As if sensing it by some form of magic, she slowed to a stop in the hallway and took his arm.
“You look great, Till. You haven’t even gotten makeup done yet and you still look amazing.” She squeezed his arm. “You’ve got this, you know that, right?”
He forced a smile. “Don’t you know confidence is my middle name?”
And usually it was true. If there was one thing he had over most of his competition in the industry, it was overflowing confidence.
Mizi smiled back, far more sincere. “Come on,” she said, tugging him along gently. “We don’t want to be late.”
-
Before the chemistry read, he went to get his makeup done as scheduled. Hyuna was no better than Mizi, grinning wildly as she gently applied a bit of concealer under his eyes.
“Let me guess,” she said, “didn’t sleep much?”
Till rolled his eyes, but made sure not to move. “I wonder if every actor has such a nosy makeup artist or is it just me?”
“Hmm, I would say you’re just lucky.” She winked and stepped back. “You look good enough to eat.”
He snorted. If he wasn’t so nervous underneath it all, he might’ve cracked a joke. Like how the only person he wanted to eat him was —
The door swung open, startling him. “Come on – ” he relaxed when he saw it was just Mizi. “We only have a few minutes.”
Quickly stumbling out of the chair, he rushed to her side and followed her into the hallway. As they walked toward the room set aside for their scheduled chemistry read, Mizi looked him up and down, not even trying to be discreet. Till made sure no one was around before quietly flipping her off.
Couldn’t tarnish his reputation and all that.
She giggled, light and airy. “I was just going to say,” she bumped their shoulders together, gentle, “you look good. Don’t let anything bring you down, okay?”
And he knew it wasn’t just empty words; Mizi had been there for him since the start of his career, long before he’d managed to actually make a name for himself. She’d been there with open arms (and an extra large pizza) every time he’d been turned down from a role, every time a casting director had scoffed like he was hilarious for even thinking he had a chance.
It had been hard, then, but motivating. He never wanted to be underestimated ever again. He thought he’d never feel so scared again, walking toward an audition room. It was a pointless fear. He had joked but surely they wouldn’t actually try to kick him out, even if the chemistry read wasn’t a success.
“Break a leg,” Mizi whispered just as they stopped in front of the door.
Till could hear voices through the wood. He concentrated and tried to see if he could pick out Ivan’s voice, in the sea of them, but he wasn’t sure if he could trust himself. He thought he heard him, a familiar drawl he had heard on television a million times, but he could’ve just been imagining it.
Mizi glanced at him, a silent question. He just nodded.
Without another word between them, she turned and opened the door.
-
Till didn’t even realize he’d been holding his breath as his eyes scanned the room: it was all the usual people – the casting director sat at the table with two other staff members on each side, a few other stray staff members were scattered around the room.
In the middle of all of them was Ivan.
He was smiling politely as others talked to him, a small quirk of his mouth. Till must’ve stared for a second too long because suddenly Ivan was lifting his head and their eyes met.
Till had seen him a hundred times, at least, through a screen but he wasn’t sure anything could’ve prepared him for this moment.
For seeing him, here, like this, in real life. Ivan was even more stunning in person.
Ivan’s smile stretched just a little wider, barely noticeable. Till should’ve smiled back but he felt like he was frozen.
“Okay,” the casting director – Luka – stood up from the table. “From what I’ve been told, this is your first time meeting, correct?”
Till didn’t even realize he was addressing them until Mizi gave a gentle nudge at his side. He flushed, standing a little taller. He might’ve been meeting his idol, for lack of a better word, but he was still a professional.
“Yes,” he answered, cursing the slight shake to his voice.
Ivan nodded. “I’ve seen him plenty, of course, but never met, no.”
Till felt a shiver down his spine. Ivan. Ivan had seen him before, too, which shouldn’t have been surprising. He had been on a number of notable series by now, but for some reason he still hadn’t been prepared to hear it.
“Wonderful,” Luka said, “Everyone – ” He did a little twirl with his finger, making a point to address everyone in the room. “Out.”
Till knew the process by now. Luka’s process, at least. He could be a little unorthodox. Usually he didn’t mind it, but right now he was already starting to feel sweat pool at the small of his back.
Mizi let out a tiny huff of amusement as she helped to herd everyone out of the room. Last to go was Luka, who didn’t even say a word before closing the door.
If Ivan was confused, he didn’t voice it. For a moment, the room was silent with just the two of them.
“Sorry,” Till said eventually, clearing his throat. He dared a glance in Ivan’s direction; he was standing just a few feet away, a thoughtful quirk to his head. “Luka can be a bit, uh. Unorthodox in his methods. He always likes to give actors a few minutes by themselves before starting the read.”
He was proud of himself; his voice was steady and clear.
Ivan hummed, but still didn’t say anything. Till took advantage of the moment to really look Ivan over. He was beautiful; dark hair swept back with a few loose strands, eyes lined with black – not too much, just enough to somehow make his dark eyes look even darker, his lips shined with a thin layer of gloss, skin clear and perfect.
The way his mouth was twisted, Till could even see his fang. Not literal, of course, it was just his canine – especially sharp and pronounced – but it had always been one of his selling points that fans seemed to like.
He looked like he was conjured up in a lab somehow.
And Till, well. He wasn’t naive. He knew he was attractive – wouldn’t have gotten this far in the industry if he wasn’t – but he felt lacking compared to Ivan, more than he had in a long time.
Without thinking, he reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it. But the wild look was part of his appeal, Hyuna had always said. Made him stand out.
“Are you going to keep staring at me or actually introduce yourself?”
Till startled, yanking his hand out of his hair hard enough he winced a little. He opened his mouth, ready to apologize, but then he saw Ivan was smiling. Barely, really, more like a smirk.
Clearing his throat, he wiped his hands off on his jeans in what he hoped was a discreet move (he was still sweating like crazy) and stepped forward. “Why should I introduce myself when you apparently already know my name?”
He froze as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He was so stupid.
This was Ivan – the Ivan – and here he was already messing everything up because he never quite knew when to shut his mouth. He waited, expecting the worst. He wouldn’t have even been surprised if he’d pushed him out of the way and stormed out of the room.
But instead Ivan did the complete opposite. He gave a little laugh, eyes crinkling just a little around the edges. Till felt something warm blossom in the pit of his stomach.
“I haven’t had someone talk to me like that in, well, ages.” His eyes were still sparkling when he finally stopped laughing. He extended a hand. Till moved quickly before he could think too hard and just make himself more nervous. Ivan’s hand was warm, smooth.
Till knew his own hands weren’t nearly as smooth, from playing guitar. It was just a hobby he had picked up on the side, nothing more, but his hands still suffered for it.
“You must play an instrument,” Ivan said, startling him. For a moment, he wondered if he’d accidentally spoken his thoughts but then Ivan tilted his head. “Guitar?”
Till swallowed around the lump in his throat; Ivan’s thumb gently moved over his knuckles, once, fleeting, before he was pulling away. Maybe he’d imagined it. “Yeah. Um. Just a hobby.”
“I would love to hear you play, if ever given the chance,” Ivan said. Normally, Till would’ve brushed it off as empty words but there was something oddly sincere about the way he said it.
He dropped his gaze, focusing on the collar of Ivan’s shirt. Anything to make sure he didn’t keep staring at his face. “Yeah. Sure.”
Before he – or Ivan – could say anything else, the door was opened without even a knock. Till spun around as Luka entered the room followed by the rest of the staff and finally Mizi alongside a woman he didn’t quite recognize. He wondered if she was part of staff and somehow he had just never noticed her until now.
That question was answered quickly when she went to Ivan’s side. “You’ve totally got this,” she said, hushed but just loud enough Till could hear.
He wondered if that was true. Didn’t want to get his hopes up.
“Okay, since I’ve given you both more than enough time to get acquainted.” Luka nodded at the scripts on the table. “Go ahead.”
Till forced his hand to not shake as he reached out and grabbed his version of the script; the part they’d be rehearsing, today, had been highlighted. It wasn’t too long. He just had to get through the scene without any mistakes.
He skimmed through it quickly, saw Ivan doing the same, even though they had both already read the script. Ivan, possibly only one or twice, but Till had read it nearing a dozen times.
So how did he manage to forget what happened at the end?
They didn’t kiss, not in this scene, but they almost did and that was enough to have Till suddenly rethinking everything. You’re a professional, he reminded himself, and tried to believe it.
He had certainly kissed plenty of people on set by now but admittedly he had never found any of them quite as alluring as Ivan.
Still, this was a chance to prove himself. He wouldn’t let that get in the way of doing his job properly.
“We don’t have all day,” Luka said, as impatient as ever.
Till resisted the urge to glare at him and simply set the script aside; it wasn’t frowned upon to read from the script during chemistry reads, of course, but he had the entire thing memorized already.
Ivan probably hadn’t been able to memorize it in such a short time but Till was surprised to find he set his script aside as well. He was always called an acting prodigy by media, the best the industry had seen in ages, and it seemed like it went beyond just a good performance on screen.
They both stepped closer to each other, waited until Luka gave the final nod.
All jokes aside, Till really was a professional. He felt like he was a different person when he got into character. Immediately he felt his eyes start to sting, his bottom lip tremble a little.
“You lied to me,” he said, voice thick with emotion.
It was surprisingly easy to look Ivan in the eyes all of a sudden. Ivan stared back just as intensely, reached for his hands. He held them, loose and gentle. “You know I didn’t have a choice.”
Till jerked his hands away. “But you promised me.”
“I know, I know,” Ivan’s eyes were glossy too, brimming with so much emotion Till had to remind himself they were acting. He couldn’t remember ever having to do that before. “But I need you to trust me, okay?”
Till swallowed. “I – I don’t know if I can,” he whispered, just loud enough for Luka and the others to hear.
Ivan frowned, looking thoughtful for a moment. “How can I convince you to trust me?”
He opened his mouth, closed it, cursed himself because – he’d fucking forgotten the line. How could he have forgotten the line? He dared a quick glance at Luka, who was watching him with slightly narrowed eyes.
He was so screwed. Ivan was definitely getting the role, no doubt, but not before Till was probably kicked off the project.
And now he was so nervous he was shaking a little, hopefully not enough to be noticed by Luka and the others but there was no hiding it from Ivan, as close as he was.
So much for being a professional.
Maybe it would be better just to get it over with and admit his mistake, take whatever consequences would follow, even if that meant being kicked off the project. Even if it meant not getting to work with Ivan.
But as soon as he opened his mouth, Ivan surged forward and kissed him.
For a second he just stood there dumbly, eyes wide open. He heard a gasp from the side then a whispered, “I thought they weren’t actually supposed to kiss here?”
The only thing that followed was silence, but Till knew the answer; he might’ve forgotten his line but he still remembered how the scene ended – Ivan’s hand on his neck, thumb stroking his jaw as he begged him for one more chance.
Not a kiss, but something close. The actual kiss came far later in the script.
Till hadn’t prepared himself for this, but he knew he couldn’t risk ruining the scene even more. Eyelashes fluttering, he closed his eyes and cupped Ivan’s face, kissing him back with fervor.
It was like something out of his wildest dreams but also not at all.
After a few seconds, he dared to open his eyes, surprised to find Ivan already staring back at him.
Suddenly Ivan was pulling away, turning toward Luka. “Sorry, I got a bit carried away.”
Till licked his lips, flushed when he realized what he’d done and quickly pursed his lips into a thin line to ignore the urge to do it again.
“Well,” Luka looked torn between amusement and annoyance, “I supposed you were going to kiss him eventually one way or another.”
Till blinked as the words settled. “Wait, you mean – ”
“Don’t get too excited,” he interrupted, already standing, “but you should be optimistic.” Weirdly, he said it while staring at Till like he was the one auditioning for the spot, not Ivan. There was no way he knew, right? Or maybe he was letting him know he was going to be kind enough to ignore his obvious mistake. “We’ll call you once we’ve discussed it and made a final decision.”
Till watched as Luka left with the staff, not even giving them a glance back. For once, he was thankful to be ignored.
Once they were gone, Mizi rushed to his side. “Are you okay?” she asked, side-eyeing Ivan skeptically.
He appreciated her concern, as always, but he was fine. If kissing strangers was an issue for him, he probably would’ve picked a different career path, but even those kisses were usually planned for and this wasn’t, which was jarring, yes, but he wasn’t upset.
Ivan’s manager was at his side, too, looking at him with disapproval. Till wondered how often he did unexpected stuff like that.
Finally he brushed her off and stepped forward, closer to Till. Mizi pursed her lips but didn’t intervene; she really was the perfect manager for him.
“I apologize,” he said, giving a slight bow. “I shouldn’t have done that without warning, but…”
He trailed off, and Mizi finally spoke, “But?”
But Till already knew the answer. Ivan smiled, but it wasn’t mean. “You forgot your line,” he said. It wasn’t a question. Mizi startled, glancing at the script still laid out on the table. “An honest mistake. I didn’t want you getting chided for it, and I thought it’d work as a good enough distraction.”
It certainly had. Till could still feel the press of his lips – plush, but just a little dry.
“You did that for Till?” Mizi asked, sounding skeptical. Till couldn’t blame her; people in the industry rarely looked out for each other like that, nevertheless strangers.
Ivan nodded, his smile growing just a little wider. “I guess you could say I’m intrigued.” He extended a hand and Till took a second too long to move, realizing his intent. Ivan squeezed his hand. “I look forward to working together.”
Till envied his confidence. Technically, nothing was confirmed yet. But even he knew it wasn’t up in the air. Luka just liked making people sweat.
“Me too,” he said.
-
“Did you see Ivan’s manager?” Mizi asked the next day. Shooting wouldn’t start for a few weeks but she came over often just to hang out.
Till blinked. “The girl with the, uh, blue hair and piercing stare?”
He didn’t miss the way her mouth twitched, forming a smile for only a second. “Yeah.”
Till had recognized that smile, however brief. He looked back to the television. “You should go for it.”
“Wh – what?” she stammered, nearly spilling their bowl of popcorn. “I don’t – I mean – ”
He grinned, side-eyeing her. “I always knew you were into the stoic types.”
“She wasn’t – ” Mizi pursed her lips, looking down. “When you two were doing the read, you know how we all left? Well, we talked some.” Her cheeks were flushed, nearly the same shade of her regularly-dyed hair. “She was nicer than you’d think, looking at her.”
Till wasn’t sure how much he believed her. Everyone was nice to Mizi. She was just that kind of person. You would have to be pure evil to be mean to her. “I trust your judgment,” he said instead, reaching out and squeezing her arm.
She peered at him from under her eyelashes. “But what if it complicates things? Especially when you’ll be working with Ivan for the next few months. And I mean, I don’t even know if she’s, you know.”
“And you’ll never know if you don’t ask,” he replied, making sure to soften his voice. “And don’t worry about me, okay? I can take care of my own shit.”
-
Till was confident. It was something Mizi always said she admired about him; he knew what he wanted, and he wasn’t afraid to work for it.
But he was also well-aware of his own shortcomings. He could be testy and impatient, and didn’t always take being corrected or criticized well.
“What if I say something wrong?” he whined, standing in front of the oversized mirror in his living room.
Mizi glanced up from her phone. “Then you – and I know this is an abstract concept to you – but you apologize.”
Till glared at her through the mirror. “And what if he says something wrong?”
“You wait it out,” she replied just as easily. “I mean, he seemed nice enough at the chemistry read.” She set her phone aside, seemingly done with it for now. “He didn’t have to help you like that.”
Till felt his cheeks grow warm just remembering the kiss. In the moment, he had been able to control himself, too caught up in making sure he didn’t ruin the scene more or – worse – lose his role. But now, looking back, he couldn’t quite believe he had kissed Ivan.
It was always going to happen, Luka was right, if Ivan got the role but somehow that didn’t make it any easier to believe.
And he had gotten the role; Luka had called him this morning with the good news. After that, Till had thought about texting Ivan, congratulating him. They had exchanged numbers for a reason.
But he couldn’t quite work up the guts to do it.
He must’ve waited too long because eventually a text had popped up on his own phone from ‘Ivan’. (He had debated adding a heart before realizing that was asking for trouble.)
“Since we’ll officially be working together,” it had read, “I would like to get to know each other better.”
Till had mulled over how to respond for so long he had eventually texted Mizi instead for help. With her help, he had responded back with a simple, “How about brunch?”
He still wasn’t sure people actually used the word brunch in real life but he had trusted Mizi more than himself in the moment, and either way it worked out because Ivan said yes.
He said yes with a little :) to be precise and Till felt like his heart was going to burst. He was playing a dangerous game, he knew, letting himself feed into this when they were coworkers, nothing else, but he couldn’t help it.
And Mizi was enabling it.
After their conversation, Mizi had invited herself over to help him get ready. Fair enough, because without Hyuna he wasn’t really too sure how to do much more than throw on a shirt and jeans.
She had helped him with some basic makeup – a bit of eyeliner and gloss – then picked out his outfit for him, which he still wasn’t sure about.
It was brunch, after all, but she had picked out a long-sleeved silky blue shirt and black jeans. He felt a little overdressed but she had assured him it was perfect.
“I should get going,” she announced, tearing him out of his downward spiral. She jumped off the couch and walked over, peering in the mirror alongside him. “You look hot.”
Till snorted, shaking his head. “I used to dream of you hearing you say that.”
And it was true; when they had first met, when his career was still new and fresh, he had immediately developed a crush on her. Now, he was glad they were just friends. Now, they were so close it didn’t even feel weird joking about it.
Mizi winked playfully and patted him on the back. “Just be yourself.”
That was what he was afraid of.
-
Mizi left after that, which was expected – it was only an hour until Ivan was set to arrive – but being alone didn’t help his nerves at all.
Nearly exactly on the dot, Till’s doorbell rang. Old-fashioned, really, because most people just texted when they arrived.
Smoothing his shirt down in the mirror, and reminding himself this wasn’t a date, he walked over and opened the door.
Thankfully, he hadn’t been the only one to get dressed up. Ivan wore a long-sleeved black shirt, tucked neatly into dark blue slacks. His hair was swept back out of his face; if he wore makeup, it wasn’t obvious enough for Till to be able to tell but either way he was as stunning as ever.
Till realized – belatedly – that he had just been staring at him without saying anything for at least a minute. Flushing, he stepped out of the way, a silent invitation inside.
Just as he opened his mouth to say something, anything, Ivan was saying, “I almost feel bad for what I’m about to suggest,” he smiled, small, “considering how good you look.”
Till blinked once, twice. “Oh. Um. What?”
Stupid. He was so stupid.
“You obviously got dressed up intending to go out,” Ivan continued, still smiling with a hint of amusement dancing in his dark eyes, “which I know we discussed, but…”
Till swallowed; why was his mouth so dry? “But?”
“But,” Ivan tilted his head a little. “I can’t speak for you, of course, but getting recognized in public is daunting.”
Till was suddenly reminded of their differences. He’d been recognized a few times, sure, but undoubtedly nothing compared to what Ivan went through. His face was plastered everywhere – billboards, magazines, commercials – so no wonder he was tired of getting recognized everywhere he went.
Even if you didn’t know Ivan, you’d at least seen his face. And most people can’t control themselves around a celebrity, regardless of personal interest.
“I understand,” he said finally, not sure what else to say.
Ivan smiled a bit wider. “So do you mind?” Till wasn’t quite sure what he was asking, but thankfully he continued before he could make a fool of himself. “I know it must also be daunting to have a stranger in your apartment.”
The dots connected quickly, suddenly. Till didn’t even have to think about the answer. “I don’t mind at all,” he said, but then, “I just – well.” Warm in the face, he gestured weakly at his kitchen. “I don’t have much.”
“No problem,” Ivan was already pulling out his phone. “We can just order something.”
-
That was how they ended up on his couch, shoes thrown off, eating a pizza. It was oddly comfortable, even though Till kept catching himself staring at Ivan’s mouth.
It was hard not to remember the kiss. It had just been part of the script, albeit a little early. Not to mention, Ivan had only done it to save him from making a complete fool of himself.
But it was still hard to forget, or brush off. After all, Till had admired him (and possibly had a crush on him) for so long. He never imagined just meeting him, nevertheless anything more.
“Do I have something on my face?”
Ivan’s seemingly innocent question was what finally drew him back to reality.
Till startled, nearly dropping his slice of pizza. It was starting to get cold anyway. “Um. No. I mean. Your face is fine.”
He winced at his own words, cursing himself internally.
Ivan smiled – no, that was a smirk. “I’m glad to hear you think my face is ‘fine’.”
“Well, I mean, I didn’t – your face is more than fine,” Till stammered, even as he cursed himself more with each word.
For a moment, there was silence and Till was sure he had finally properly screwed things up. But then Ivan threw his head back and started laughing hard enough he shook the couch a little.
Once he quieted down, he gazed at Till with a crooked smile. “You’re funny.”
Till flushed. “I’m sure you hear that kind of stuff all the time.”
“Mmm,” Ivan tilted his head back and forth. “Yeah, but people are usually a lot more suave about it.” When Till frowned, he nudged him with his foot. “That’s a good thing. I prefer when people don’t try so hard.”
Till couldn’t fight back a smile even if he tried. “Oh.”
“I was gonna suggest we do a readthrough of the script tonight but,” Ivan checked his phone. “It’s getting late.”
Till tried to hide his disappointment. He was surprised how much he’d enjoyed Ivan’s company. He had hoped he would, of course, but he was never sure how these things would go. Like mentioned, he didn’t always get along with people easily. And Ivan was, well, Ivan.
Famous, beautiful, rich. Till expected him to be a lot more conceited or snobby. Most of the famous people Till met were like that, after all, but not Ivan. He was sweet. A little odd, but wasn’t everyone?
“Are you free next Friday?” Ivan asked.
Till didn’t even have to think. If he had plans, he would just have to reschedule.
“Um, probably,” he said, aiming for casual and probably failing.
Ivan smiled again; he had one fang that Till was starting to think was unfairly adorable. “We can meet, then, go over the script.”
“Sounds good.” Amazing, actually, but he didn’t dare seem too eager, even though he was starting to think Ivan wouldn’t mind.
-
“Soooo,” Mizi slung herself over the couch ungracefully. “How did it go, hmm?”
Till snorted, pushing her out of the way to sit down. “I – ” His smile fell. Mizi was quick to adapt, sitting up properly. She had always been good at adapting to his moods. “I think I might be screwed.”
“What?” she leaned in closer. “Did he do something?”
Till appreciated her concern, as unfounded as it was. “No, he was… he was great, actually. We ate pizza and talked about a lot of nothing. He mentioned coming over next Friday so we can actually go over the script.”
“So… what’s wrong?” She was frowning, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He couldn’t blame her.
He sighed, peering down at his hands folded together in his lap. “I think I could really like him, Mizi. Like… a lot.”
The thing was, he had never really liked someone before. He had certainly never dated. Beyond his short-lived crush on Mizi, passionate as it was, he had never even gotten the urge to date, or even do what a lot of other actors did and sleep around casually.
And now he was worried if he spent too much time with Ivan, that might change. Turn into something more than a crush from afar.
For a long moment, they were both silent. Finally, Mizi reached for his hands, cradling them gently.
“You are a really good person, Till.”
He rolled his eyes, an automatic response. She squeezed his hands harder.
“You always undervalue yourself, Till,” she continued, and he couldn’t look away from her determined gaze. “You act overconfident to make up for it, but I know you too well for that. You don’t know think someone like Ivan could ever like you but you fail to realize he’d be lucky to have you.”
He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. “I – ”
But she apparently wasn’t finished, “I met with Sua.” She paused for a moment, like she was realizing something. “Ivan’s manager,” she clarified. “We really hit it off. She cares for Ivan like I care for you, I think.”
He just nodded, unsure where this was going but happy for her either way.
“I probably shouldn’t say this, it isn’t my place but,” she smiled, small, “I will, because I think you need to hear it. Apparently Ivan can’t stop talking about you. Sua said he’s never been so interested in another person. She even asked me about you.” Her smile widened a bit. “I only said good things, of course. I knew she was just worried.”
Till couldn’t believe it. He had also never known Mizi to lie, especially about serious stuff.
“But I – I can’t,” he stammered, looking down at their hands. “Even if he was interested,” which was so hard to believe he almost felt like he was dreaming, “I can’t risk it.”
Mizi ducked her head, forcing her eyes to meet again. “Why not?”
“You know why,” he said, and he wasn’t even embarrassed that he sounded like a petulant child. “I would be risking the movie. If we had a fight or – or broke up, I don’t know if I could pretend like nothing happened.”
He was making a lot of assumptions anyway; assuming Ivan was interested in something more, when maybe he just wanted something casual or temporary. But still the details didn’t matter. Either way, Till knew he couldn’t go back to acting like only coworkers.
“Till, I know you care about this movie,” she smiled again but there was something sad about the curve of her mouth, pitying. “But sometimes life is about taking chances. You can’t just depend on your career for happiness forever.”
He wanted to argue because he couldn’t find the words. Mizi squeezed his hands even tighter. It was almost painful but also oddly comforting.
“What if you got a role a few years from now – your dream role – but then suddenly you were kicked off the cast.” Till waited, knowing she wasn’t finished. “You would be devastated, obviously, but you would be even more devastated if you had to go home to an empty apartment.”
Till licked his lips; when did they get so dry?
“Plenty of people are satisfied never having a partner. Dating.”
Mizi rolled her eyes. “I know that but I also know you’re not one of them, Till.”
She really did know him too well. “But we’re both famous, Mizi, and he’s – he’s a household name. If we dated, we couldn’t keep it from the public for too long. Someone would find out.”
“And that is something worth discussing,” she finally released his hands, choosing instead to squeeze his wrist. “With him.”
Till suddenly felt like crying. He didn’t, but his eyes burned. “What if we’re wrong? Even Sua?”
“Then you can come to me and cry it out.” She smiled, warm and sincere.
It was a decent enough backup plan. Without warning, he lunged forward and hugged her. “Have I said recently how you are the best manager in the world?”
“You don’t have to tell me, I already know.”
-
Till decided not to rush it, even if Mizi suggested texting Ivan and setting a closer date to see each other again.
When Friday finally rolled around, he felt like he was going to be sick.
He made a point to not dress up, just a pair of his usual jeans and a black t-shirt. If this was going to happen, he wanted to be sure it was because Ivan really liked him. Not because he thought he looked good enough to settle for.
A few minutes after 12, his doorbell rang.
Brushing by the mirror without looking, he opened the door. Ivan had apparently had the same thought; he looked as gorgeous as last time, obviously, but he was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans too with a thin jacket. His hair also wasn’t slicked back, hanging loosely around his face.
He also had a bag, probably to carry around the script and whatever else he might need.
Like last time, they ordered food and ended up on the couch. This time, however, they had the scripts. Till noticed a ton of highlighted parts in Ivan’s copy; maybe he shouldn’t have assumed he just had a natural gift for memorizing things. He had obviously worked just as hard.
For a while, they just rehearsed through the easy parts. Didn’t bother acting any of the parts out just yet.
Most of that stuff – gestures, movements – would be changed before they actually started filming anyway so Till didn’t usually worry about it, just focused on the actual dialogue.
But then they flipped the page and Till saw it: the scene where they kissed. The actual scene.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. When Till finally chanced a look up, he noticed Ivan was already looking at him.
“Do you usually practice these parts?” Ivan asked.
Till tried to decipher his voice, his expression, but it was all perfectly neutral.
“Sometimes,” he answered, because it was true. “Makes it less awkward later.” But other actors preferred keeping any kissing strictly in front of the camera. Till didn’t really have a preference.
Ivan hummed thoughtfully. “Well then, I’m up for it, if you are.”
He could almost hear Mizi in his head, telling him he shouldn’t do this. He should confess, first, otherwise it wasn’t fair. To him or Ivan. And he would confess tonight. He had already made that decision but…
Couldn’t he be just a little selfish first?
“Sure.” Understatement of the century.
Collecting their scripts, Till set them aside on the coffee table and was relieved when Ivan made the first move to scoot closer. He still couldn’t quite read his face, perfectly blank.
“Let me know if you want to stop,” Ivan said, a hand already reaching out and settling on Till’s neck, warm and heavy.
Till was pretty sure Ivan could’ve done anything to him in that moment and he still wouldn’t have asked him to stop, but he appreciated the sentiment.
Not trusting his voice, Till just gave a tiny nod and that seemed to be enough for Ivan. He leaned forward, slowly, like he was giving Till the chance to stop him if he wanted to.
He didn’t.
Finally their lips touched, just a gentle press. Ivan’s lips were even softer than he remembered, warmer too. The script didn’t detail the kiss; that would be decided later with help from the director but – Till supposed Ivan was preparing for everything as he tilted his head, pressing their lips together with a bit more fervor.
Hardly complaining, Till kissed back, scooting a little closer. That should’ve been it. Given the scene, it was doubtful the kiss was going to be anything more than this.
But Ivan didn’t pull away, and Till wasn’t going to be the first to end it.
Opening his eyes, he finally wasn’t surprised for once to find Ivan already staring back at him. What was difference, however, was the look in his eyes. Intense, but somehow warm.
Till felt a shiver down his spine and decided this was it. Words had never been his specialty. Moving quickly, he shifted up onto his knees and swung a leg over Ivan to settle on the other side, kissing him the entire time.
Only once he was settled, straddling him, did he finally pull back. “Is this okay?”
Ivan’s eyes were always dark, nearly black, but this was something else. “Depends,” he replied, low but steady. He lifted his hands, placing them on Till’s hips. “Is this okay?”
Instead of replying with words, Till just leaned in and kissed him again. This kiss was immediately different from the first, filthy and almost aggressive. Ivan bit at his bottom lip, just the edge of too hard, and Till let out a sound in the back of his throat that was outright embarrassing.
He only pulled back for air when he absolutely had to, panting a little to catch his breath. Ivan’s eyes were half-lidded; he somehow looked the best he ever had. Till swallowed. This was his chance.
“I have something to confess,” he forced the words out before he could reconsider.
Ivan blinked, once, almost immediately looking more alert. “What?” His hands shifted on his hips but didn’t pull away. “Do you want to stop?”
“Quite literally the opposite,” he replied, feeling nearly delirious. This was it. “I know this is – probably not what you want at all, and I’m probably reading too much into everything, and – and I know this could get in the way of the movie, I’m not an idiot, but I think I would really regret not saying it.”
Ivan squeezed his hips, then, and it was enough to make him feel a little more grounded. “You’re kind of scaring me here, Till.”
He stared at Ivan for a moment, appreciating every detail of his face, before he took a deep breath, “I think I could end up liking you.” He paused, letting the words settle properly in the silence between them. “A lot.”
Till wasn’t sure what he was expecting. The silence lingered so long he was starting to feel an ache in his chest.
Without a word, he went to move off Ivan’s lap but his hands tightened around his waist. “Stay,” he said, the softest Till had ever heard his voice.
“You don’t have to try and – and placate me,” Till stammered, but he didn’t try to move again. “I’m not gonna be mad at you for not feeling the same way.”
Ivan opened his mouth, closed it. Till watched his face flicker through about ten different emotions before suddenly he was kissing him again, hard and messy. Till gasped into his mouth, surprised – confused – but hardly disappointed.
He curled his fingers in Ivan’s hair, eyelashes fluttering. He could do this forever. He also knew he needed a real answer.
He deserved that.
Mustering all his courage, he pulled back. Ivan stared up at him with a newfound intensity. He forced himself to speak around the lump in his throat, “I’ve admired you for a long time. I know that might not be – appealing, in this context. But I don’t think that has anything to do with what I’ve felt since we met.”
Ivan continued to stare at him. Till gulped.
“You’re just not what I expected,” he paused. “In a really good way, and I’ve never done this before. Not just with another actor. Or, uh, coworker. I mean, like at all.”
The corner of Ivan’s mouth started to quirk up. “You’re cute.”
“Oh.” Till flushed. “Thank you?”
Ivan let out a soft laugh; gently, he moved Till off him. Under different circumstances, he might’ve overthought what that meant but Ivan was still smiling, warm and small.
“Are you asking me out, Till?” he asked, not even trying to hide the mirth in his eyes.
He supposed he was, in a way. “I mean, that’s – that’s assuming a lot. I just, I wanted to let you know. I didn’t – ” He hadn’t expected anything, he meant to say, but he suddenly stopped, finally connecting the dots. “Wait. Does that mean – ?”
Ivan leaned against the back of the couch, watching him with that same sparkle in his eyes. “I liked you the second I set my eyes on you,” the confession felt like igniting fire in Till’s very core. “I wasn’t sure why, at first. I’d never felt that way before, and we barely knew each other.”
Till didn’t dare speak; he didn’t trust his voice anyway.
“But you’re… different,” Ivan hummed. “I can’t quite put my finger on it.” He smiled, that fang poking out again. Till wanted to feel it against his lip again. “And frankly, I don’t really care to.”
He paused, reaching out. Till didn’t even think twice, moving as if commanded by something out of his control. Ivan held his hand gently, thumb pressing into his knuckles, not hard but comforting. Grounding, like he somehow knew Till felt a little untethered.
“But I’m assuming you know by now I can’t promise you this won’t get out. Even when you’re surrounded by people you think you can trust, it’s not quite true in our line of work, is it?”
Till had already went over this in his head. “I don’t mind. I think it’s worth the risk.”
“We should at least keep it between us,” Ivan said softly, and Till wasn’t sure yet what he was going to say next. If he wanted to keep this hidden because he was ashamed or embarrassed to be seen with him. But then – “Just until the movie is done shooting. I don’t want them to project or assume anything just because we’re together.”
Till nodded. “I agree,” he said, meaning it. It was the smart move. “And if anything happens, if this doesn’t work, I need us to be on the same page.”
“I hope we won’t have to worry about that,” Ivan replied, “but the fact you even want to discuss it...” He smiled again, almost approvingly. Till didn’t want to admit how much that did for his confidence. “I promise you won’t have anything to worry about from my end. I could even give you something to use against me, if it would give you peace of mind.”
Till let out a sudden laugh, surprised by the odd offer. But just as Ivan kept saying he was different, he was starting to think Ivan’s oddness was what had really captivated him. “I’ll just have to take your word for it,” he said, still smiling.
-
They never ended up having to worry about. Months later, when the movie was wrapping up, they all celebrated by having dinner at Ivan’s house. The place had always been beautiful, from the very first time Till had seen it, but now it felt more like a proper home.
Pictures lined the walls that used to be empty, mostly of the two of them, but some were just of Till. He complained about them, sometimes, embarrassed but secretly he liked it.
Some were of all of them – Ivan, arms wrapped around Till. Mizi and Sua, heads tilted together.
Till was pretty sure he had died and gone to heaven. Or maybe he just should’ve been more hopeful when he was younger because sometimes he still struggled to believe this was real.
Sitting at the table, Ivan on his left and Mizi on his right, he wondered what he had done to end up lucky enough to have met both of them.
Or maybe Ivan was right, as he always liked to say: “You deserve good things, Till.”
Till still remembered the first time he’d said it when they were laid out in his bed. He had kissed Till’s forehead and he had suddenly felt the urge to cry, eyes burning.
Maybe, just maybe, he was finally starting to believe it.
“Can you believe they still haven’t figured it out?” Mizi was saying, giggling around the rim of her wine glass. “’How is their chemistry so good?’” she said, repeating what the director had said earlier.
Till hadn’t really heard him. He’d been too busy kissing Ivan with as much fervor as he kissed him every night. He supposed there were benefits, actually, to dating your costar.
Sua smiled at her side. “You can’t blame him. I’m surprised they were actually able to keep it hidden until the end of filming.”
Till chanced a glance at Ivan, who was already staring back at him. He smiled. Ivan smiled back, giving a nod.
“About that, actually,” Till cleared his throat. “We are planning to disclose that we’re dating. Not how long, obviously, but… we thought it might make things easier, especially since Ivan can’t stop complaining about wanting to take me places and not being able to.”
Mizi smiled, shifting to take Sua’s hand where it was resting atop the table.
“We’re happy for you.” She glanced at Ivan. “Both of you.”
-
At the end of the night, Till was surprised to have Mizi pull him away from Ivan’s side. She walked them to the edge of the porch, grasping his hands tightly in her own.
“I know this is going to be cheesy and you’ll hate every second of it,” she said, “but I just really need to say it.”
Till tilted his head with a confused smile.
“I used to worry about you.” She squeezed his hands tighter. “You always acted like you were fine on your own but I just – I could tell you had so much love to give and for a while I almost felt guilty, turning you down.”
Till tensed, already opening his mouth, but she continued, “I know you never wanted me to, and you never did anything to make me feel that. I promise. It was just – normal concern for a friend, okay?”
She gently shook their hands, smiling now. “But now I see you with Ivan and… Till, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy.”
He couldn’t fight the smile off his own face, small and sincere. He stared down at their hands. “I – ” He paused, swallowed around the lump in his throat. He hadn’t even said this to Ivan, yet, but somehow it felt right. Saying it, now, to Mizi first. “I think I love him.”
For a long moment, there was silence. When he finally glanced up, Mizi wasn’t looking at him. She was staring over his shoulder, eyes a little wide, and –
He dropped her hands and spun around. Ivan stood there, frozen with his hand in the air like he had just been about to tap his shoulder. Mizi squeaked and scooted past them, rushing to join Sua at the other end of the porch.
“I was going to ask if you were cold,” Ivan said, dropping his hand. It was chilly out, middle of autumn now, and Ivan knew he ran cold. The simple but sweet gesture made his heart feel like it was going to burst out of his chest.
Till just nodded, not trusting his voice. Ivan shucked off his jacket and moved to wrap it around his frame.
“I didn’t want you hear that,” Till said finally, clutching the jacket to keep it from falling. “I was going to tell you soon. Just needed the right moment. I know it’s probably too soon or I don’t know, I don’t really know how to gauge these things – ”
Ivan moved, smooth but fast, wrapping an arm around his waist and drawing him in close enough to tip their foreheads together. If he remembered they still had company present, he didn’t seem phased by it. “I don’t believe in there being a right time for anything,” he breathed softly. “I love you, Till.”
He smiled so big he knew his cheeks were going to hurt later. He didn’t care. Happiness was worth it. “Good,” he said before cupping both sides of Ivan’s face and kissing him.
It reminded him a lot of their first kiss but this time the roles were reversed. Ivan seemed surprised for just a second before he smiled against his lips, tugging him even closer.
When they separated, Till was breathless. He wasn’t complaining.
“I hate to say this,” he let out a shaky laugh, still catching his breath, “but I think we need to send a thank you card or something.”
Ivan raised an eyebrow, searching his face. “To who?”
“I’ll tell you later,” he replied before moving in to kiss him again. He heard Sua’s groan from across the porch. Ivan laughed against his mouth.
-
A week before they left for their first vacation, just a couple days after the news of them dating had hit the media, Till went to the store and picked out a card. It was the vaguest card he could find in the store, just a simple “thank you” with a smiley face on the front. He signed it just as simply – Ivan and Till – and left it like that. He trusted Luka to figure it out.
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bosinclairsgff · 2 days
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Lady Slashers Meeting their girlfriend
Includes: Baby Firefly, Amanda Young, Amber Freeman
Warnings: saw trap, hinting at kidnap
A/n I have the biggest crush on Baby
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- You met Baby when you were hitchhiking through Texas. You had been trying to make your way home to whatever state you live in and somehow found yourself standing next to Baby. “Hey there! Where ya heading?” She giggles. “Just trying to make it home to (your state).” You respond. After you guys make conversation, she realizes she’s taken a liking to you. She invites you over for the night. You accept and when a car pulls up to give you a ride you both get in together.
- When you make it to her house she offers you a cup of hot chocolate, which you accept happily. Baby sits next to you on the couch in the living room and turns on the TV. You aren’t really paying attention to the movie playing. Your more interested in how cool her house is. It’s like a museum of oddities and curiosity! “I love your house Baby, it’s truly amazing.” You say looking at her. Her eyes light up! “Thank you sugar, that’s so sweet.” She smiles.
- After an hour or so you guys decide to head to bed. Baby insists you sleep in her room with her. Which you absolutely don’t mind. Her room is just as eccentric as the rest of the house. You can tell she really loves baby dolls. “Ready for bed sugar? I got extra blankets just in case ya got cold.” Baby says. You nod and thank her. “Which side of the bed do you want?” You ask. She laughs at this question. “I don’t care honey. I’ll sleep anywhere as long as I’m sleeping with you.” She smirks playfully. You can feel your face heating up. Baby slips under the covers on the left side of the bed as you take the right. You both stay silent for a few minutes but baby takes the roll in ruining said silence. “Ya know…we could cuddle if ya like to.” She turns to face you. You guys are inches away from each other, you can feel her breath on your face. She smells like liquor and hot chocolate. A mixture you normally wouldn’t like, but coming from her you don’t mind. “Okay..I wouldn’t mind that.” You can feel yourself turning a bright red. She slips her hand over your waist and pulls you towards her. Baby let’s out a soft sigh as she closes her eyes to fall asleep. As she falls asleep first you follow shortly after.
- The next day you guys get to know each other better. Learning all her likes a dislikes, meeting her brothers and her mama. You and mama get along very well. You stay with the family for a few days really feeling at home and at peace with Baby. However, all good things must come to an end. “I really should get back home Baby.” You say softly one day as you girls are laying in bed. She sits up immediately. “What! Why? I thought ya liked it here sweetheart.” She pouts. “I want to stay but what about my life and my responsibilities?” You tell her as you rub small circles on her hand. Baby thinks for a moment about what to say. “You can make a life here. I’m not letting you leave me. I want to be with you and I know you want to be with me.” She says in almost a dark tone. You had to be honest with yourself, it scared you seeing her like this but also made you feel safe knowing how much she cherishes you. “Well I suppose if you won’t let me leave I’m stuck here, with you…which isn’t so bad I guess.” You smile. Baby’s whole demeanor changes, she’s full of happiness and love again. Without much warning she leans in and kisses your lips. You of course accept the kiss graciously, kissing her back.
- After a month of living with the family you and Baby officially started dating. By this time you had found out their dirty little secrets. You couldn’t do much about it, yes you loved Baby but she did tell you that you couldn’t leave her.
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- You had seen on the news about how there was a serial killer on the loose called Jigsaw. You were never to worried you’d run into him, I mean you were a nobody really. All you did was go to work and come home, on the rare occasion you’d go out with a few girlfriends but never often. That’s actually how all this started, you had just started walking home from the bar when someone in a pig mask came out of nowhere, stabbing you in the neck with something. After that assault you quickly started to get drowsy, within seconds you were fast asleep. When you awoke you found yourself bond to a chair, as your hands had been duct taped to the arms. On your head was a metal contraption. When you started to panic a TV in the corner turned on only to show a puppet. This puppet explained that he simply wanted to “play” a game. You have 60 seconds to free yourself from the reverse bear trap, as he called it, or it would permanently open your jaw. As in your head would be torn apart. To escape this trap you had to remove the key to the lock keeping it on you from a man’s stomach. Before you could truly take all of this in the TV cut off leaving you to start your game. As soon as you escaped the chair a timer started. You frantically tried the get the bear trap off without a key, it wouldn’t budge. You knew what you had to do. When you had finished getting the key and getting the trap off just in time, you passed out. Awaking to the fluorescent lights of a hospital room.
- Yes, you had survived the trap but you had been absolutely terrified of everything since that day. You were more great full for life, sure, you still always looked behind your shoulder and locked every door you entered. After a month or so you slowly started getting back into the groove of things. Which must be some cruel joke the universe was playing on you because as soon as things started to seem okay, you meet John. Who, as you came to know was behind the traps and murders. Though, he claims he never murdered anyone. John wanted you to help him with his work, make the traps, kidnap the people. You of course wanted absolutely nothing to do with that. You weren’t a psychopath who enjoyed hurting people. You loved people. However you didn’t have much of a choice.
- You had joined Johns team of apprentices, which is where you met her. Amanda Young. At first she really didn’t seem to like you all that much. She’d do anything in her power to absolutely avoid you. At first you took it personally but then you saw how she treated Mark. In that case you were thankful for how she treated you. Slowly you started to get her to open up. Saying hi to her when you would come in to work on traps or clean up the warehouse. Grabbing her a coffee when you got one for yourself. Eventually you two started to hangout even outside of working for John.
- After a while of constantly spending time with her you realized how much you liked her. You started to wonder if, maybe, she felt the same towards you. That’s when you decided to ask her one night. You guys normally hung out at your apartment, watching movies and eating unhealthy snacks. You let her choose the movie. As you guys were sitting on the couch, laying on opposite sides. You sat up, paused the movie and looked at her. “Mandy, I have something to tell you and ask you.” You state while looking down at your hands. What’s wrong? Did something happen!?” She questions with a worried expression. “What..no everything is fine don’t worry. I just. I wanted to tell you that, I have serious feelings for you and I was wondering if maybe you spelt the same.” You look up at her with a red face. For a moment she stays silent, which you internally start panic. “I-it’s okay! Let’s just forget I said anything.” You reach for the TV remote with was laying close to her. You lean over to get it and she grabs your face planting a kiss directly on your soft lips. Of course your taken completely off guard, not in a bad way though. After a second of pure bliss she ends the kiss. “I have feelings for you too y/n I was just scared I’d lose you if I said anything.” Amanda says shyly.
- You two officially started dating that night.
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Amber Freeman
- You had just moved to Woodsboro, and were very nervous starting at a new high school. Yeah, you were a senior but it was still scary. The first day you started you bumped into a girl named Amber, at first you thought she may yell at you as she looked so intimidating. Yet all she did was smile and tell you it’s not a problem. In your last class of the day you saw a familiar face upon the unfamiliar setting. It was Amber sitting alone in the back of the class. You made your way to her and asked if you might sit next to her. She happily made space for you. Over the next month you two become good friends. Exchanging numbers as to keep contact even outside of the class. She texted you good morning and goodnight everyday. Amber made you feel wanted and safe, no one would fuck with her or you. Even her friend group liked you.
- You guys would usually hangout all together as a group but there were times when she just wanted to be alone with you. She’d treat you to a horror movie or sneak over late at night. Amber just loved alone time with you, where she knew you were completely hers. You started to notice little hints that she liked you. Such as when she’d hold your hand when you guys watch scary movies, or how she got very jealous whenever you talked to other girls. There are even times where she’d rest her hand on your leg while you guys ate lunch in the cafeteria.
- One night at a party you both had been glued to each other all night. You found yourself cuddling with her on the couch and watching whatever was on TV. She was sitting up, you were in her lap and she was playing with your hair. You can’t remember the last time you felt this happy. After a while of this she suddenly stopped and told you to look at her. Confused, you did as she said. Sitting up you looked at her with tired eyes. “Is everything okay?” You questioned. She’s nods in response. “There’s something I need to ask you y/n, I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks.” Amber says looking into your eyes. “What is it? You can ask me anything.” You say. She stays silent for a moment, thinking. “I want you to be my girlfriend. I really, really like you and I want you to be mind.” She says while looking down. You can’t believe what you just heard. You almost don’t at first thinking maybe you did fall asleep and this is a dream. “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend!” You softly yell. Her whole face lights up and she smiles. Leaning in you kiss her on the lips softly while cupping her face with your hands.
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vampirepunks · 2 months
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Since Kojima’s been saying that the Death Stranding film is going to tell a story that can only be told through the film medium, I really hope it’s a prequel to the game. There are a lot of background events represented through text and dialogue that wouldn’t translate well to a video game format on their own.
It’d be really cool to see the start of the Stranding, Victor and Igor’s backstory (as seen in the DS novelization), snippets from Sam’s childhood/early years with Bridges, the development and construction of the chiral network, and most of the events described in Higgs’ journals.
Coffin’s decision to leave her family behind, start a terrorist uprising by radicalizing the porters who unknowingly abetted human sacrifices by delivering BBs for the chiral network, and the decision to adopt Higgs as her protégé? That story alone would be worthy of a film.
#just thoughts#i would kill to see little baby Peter#and witness his Becoming™️ from that scared kid into the man we know and love#i know that ‘new world with a new sky’ moment would be POWERFUL#and what of his porter partner who died? what did that relationship look like? how close were they?#what of his relationship with Fragile after Coffin died? having a best friend who probably never saw his face?#not to mention his tragic rise to power and the secrecy that came with it. having to kill to maintain his DOOMS because people needed him#like he was handpicked as the inheritor of a rebellion against Bridges/the UCA and suddenly ended up with a LOT of responsibility when-#-Coffin died. and suddenly he was living a double life to care for and protect the people of the Western region#and those folks responded by calling him King Midas. naming him after a folk hero whose defining tragedy is being powerful but alone#everything he touched turn to gold but it’s so hard to form connections when you can’t shake hands#(sorry not sorry lol)#it’s such a complicated and nuanced backstory & so many people don’t even know about it because it’s in hard-to-reach texts & a side quest#idk I just think it’d make a really good movie. bonus points if it canonized him being a repatriate#it’d make a really good sci-fi political thriller/horror#i would vaporize in my seat if it cold opened with higgs saying 'once there was an explosion...' but now i'm just being self-indulgent#death stranding#death stranding movie#death stranding a24#higgs monaghan#logan.txt
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frecklystars · 8 months
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Sierra Six being my S/I's bodyguard and not quite differentiating the lines between "I need to be closer to Keri in order to keep Keri safe" vs "I need to be closer to Keri due to these... budding personal feelings that I don't understand that seem to be consuming me whole but I'm sure that's normal and nothing I need to dwell on whatsoever"
Such as making sure her ice cream isn't poisoned so he taste tests it first. but then it evolves into her spoon feeding him a few more bites... minutes later they're both sharing it together. then it becomes a weekly routine, get ice cream every Sunday afternoon
Or he checks everywhere in her room before she sleeps, under the bed, the closet, makes sure the windows are locked. then he sits in the room closest to that bedroom door and stays awake typing on his computer or something. but her nightmares make her jolt awake crying out, so he's rushing to her side and calming her. Minutes later he's crawling into bed next to her and cuddling her like a good bodyguard does. because all bodyguards cuddle in bed with the person they're protecting, right? sure, he's sure of it. yeah. This is an every night ordeal until finally she asks him to just sleep in the same bed with her so if she has a nightmare he can just be there immediately. and he's all calm and collected "sure of course I can do that for you" but he isn't sleeping immediately. he isn't in that habit. he's fully alert of every creak in the wood, the branches snapping outside, every tiny noise. His cheeks are on FIRE and he's trying to hide the shake in his hands when Keri suddenly rolls over in her sleep, her face pressed against his chest, unconsciously wrapping her arms around him. And he's wrapping his strong arms around her, petting her hair, suppressing the urge to kiss her forehead. YEAH SURELY ALL BODYGUARDS DO THIS. And for the first time in a very, very long time, Keri doesn't have any bad dreams that night.
Making sure he's always turning his head towards her and annunciating as clear as possible because he knows she needs to read lips to fully understand someone. He starts wearing chapstick. He starts sharing it with her. He tries not to think about how that chapstick is the closest he'll ever get to her lips. He tries not to dwell on that.
#saw an interview where ryan said that Six just wants so badly to live a little bit#and he's destined for this life of danger and he will never be free from it and it's all he craves#he doesn't want to be a spy. he doesn't want to be an assassin.#he wants to eat chicken nuggets and watch netflix and fall asleep on the couch#he doesn't want to jolt awake gasping every night. he doesnt want to look over his shoulder every 2 seconds#he doesnt want to be on high alert 24/7 knowing anyone and everyone is after him constantly#and he cant even trust the organization he was accepted into#so when he finds something that he enjoys like... a comfortable shirt or a delicious meal#or getting a new tattoo or listening to a good song. he holds onto that.#he just wants to live. and ryan said he cherishes those moments where he's living his life just a little#like at the party in the first scene he's just eating chicken and laughing a little with Dani#so I feel like w/ me he starts finding those moments more and more#bc I'm insisting Six have some more ice cream. Six come see this movie with me#Six you don't have to hold my bags just hold my hand. Six let's get you a Kenough shirt#Six let's go to that new pizza place and let me order you your favorite toppings. my treat#Six I saw this pendant and thought of you. Six I drew this for you. Six this song reminds me of you.#and slowly over time it's not just a bodyguard and the girl he's protecting#it's two friends teaching each other how to find love in living again#his love for the smallest moments gives her that bit of motivation to live too#his appreciation for the small things. those little gratitudes. they add up#I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHH#love notes#💕♡☆ I'll always protect you ☆🖤🎆#IT FEELS SO GOOD TO WRITE LOVE NOTES AGAINNNNN
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skrunksthatwunk · 2 months
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i just finished saw v and i don't have high hopes for the rest of the franchise (based on what ive heard) but im in too deep to stop now
#no i haven't enjoyed the last two no i don't expect to get much out of the next five or so movies. but i need to know.#i guess saw v mightve suffered bc i watched it basically immediately after iv#something i didnt do with any of the others#but i was told v was one of the good ones so i was looking forward to it. i dont think it was burnout yknow#but uh. i didn't like it. i think i liked iv more honestly. strahm and hoffman do absolutely nothing for me#i liked the traps. that was it though#it felt so pointless and empty. it was the first one where i genuinely wondered why they made it. why did they decide to keep going with#this. i think ii and iv both function more/better as setup for their following films but like. at least iii was pretty good yknow#like both amanda and hoffman's accomplicing feels kinda retconned in but at least amanda's an interesting character#what does hoffman have. what does strahm have. nothing. and no i don't think they have much in the way of homoeroticism either.#i don't tend to be so negative and im sorry if someone goes in the saw tags and feels bad about me talking shit about something they like#because i know that doesn't feel good. honestly i'd love to hear why people like v. maybe it'll change my opinion of it if i look at it a#different way yknow? but for now im just annoyed by it. iv was engaging in the moment but very forgettable#i liked riggs well enough but we barely learned a thing about him. he wasn't a deep character at all and i think that's a shame#but v was just a paperwork-based cat and mouse chase. 90 minutes and it still felt like they were wasting my time#why did strahm go to the old trap locations? i don't think he found anything out there. likr it was just a framing device for the flashback#but he didn't actually have a reason to go there. waste of my time#not an original critique im sure but saw ii on seems to be more focused on scale and layers of shit (i.e. having two games going at once)#than using the traps to examine the characters. i mean you go from two guys in a bathroom for a couple hours#learning about who they are gradually at a slow pace vs like 8 people in a house plus cop stuff plus 90 second traps of dubious fairness#hoffman has no real relationship with kramer (unlike amanda) and basically everyone who'd been following jigsaw is dead and so are jigsaw#and (presumably) amanda. what am i supposed to be here for? the vague outline of a saw trap? the type of torture happening?#im not even opposed to that per se but frankly the more they focus on the cops surrounding this shit the less fun it is#why are you making all the traps like 15 seconds long and tied to characters who aren't the primary focus. it's saw#ughh i miss adam. i miss amanda. hell i miss kramer and he was pretty present in this one (flashbackwise)#whateverrr. anyway that poll comparing chainshippng shotgunnshippng and coffinshippng where shotgun was last? lesbophobic.#im only half joking about that. im sure ppl have their reasons for coffin but i also think it's the tendency fandom bias for “two white guy#ships. but hey maybe vi and onwards will add more context to that that'll make me reconsider. i mean i wouldn't have liked the amanda#accomplice thing That much if i'd only seen ii. i think iii really makes it mesh better and it leads to fun character stuff#(though i still think i would've liked it more bc like. amanda was always grateful to jigsaw right? again hoffman comes outta nowhere)
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