#i had a charge on my card for 75% OF WHAT WAS IN MY CHECKING ACCOUNT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wearethekat · 3 years

Text

A comprehensive guide to getting the best out of your library card: free books!

okay, so you’ve been through your local library branch. You’ve read all their library books. Is there nothing left to read? NO!

Step One: The first step to acquiring More Books is to check the library catalogue. Most libraries aren’t islands, they’re in a system with many other libraries. This can range to like three other libraries in a small city system to over thirty libraries in a multi-county system. These libraries will almost certainly ship you books from branch libraries to your home library. The best way to go about accessing these books is to google the library’s website. The catalogue should be somewhere large and obvious.

[ID <a picture of a library catalogue search bar, searching “charles, kj” by “author”> /END ID]

I’ve refined the search here by author, because I’m looking for a specific author rather using generic keywords. I hit search, and tah-dah!

[ID <the results of the search, showing 14 ebooks. The first two book titles are visible in the picture: Gilded Cage and Any Old Diamonds> /END ID]

I get 14 books in result! Unfortunately, it looks like this library system doesn’t have any physical copies of this author’s books. So we advance to Step Two of the More Books search. (if there had been physical copies, you would click a button labeled Place Hold or something similar and go through your library’s system to get them to send the book to your library.)

Step Two: if you’ve exhausted all the physical books in your library system or can’t find that specific book you’re looking for, the next place to look is your library’s ebook collections. These three sites are going to be specific to what I have access to, your library may vary.

Site one: Hoopla! Hoopla is an app, but it also works over internet browser. Hoopla has the same books no matter what library system you access it via. It also has music and movies, but it’s really mostly for ebooks, audiobooks, and comics. You read checked-out books over the hoopla app. The limit on Hoopla is you can borrow only a certain number of books per month. This depends on what you’re library has paid for. It could be three or it could be ten. Hoopla is very easy to set up, you just select your library system and enter your card barcode number, then set up a password.

[ID <a picture of search results for “k j charles” in Hoopla, which got 24 results. The first four books are visible: audiobooks for Slippery Creatures and The Sugared Game, plus ebooks of Unfit to Print and Slippery Creatures> /END ID]

tah-dah! here’s my search again on Hoopla. This gives me access to 24 more books. If I wanted the book, I’d click on the title and click “borrow.” If this was over the app on a tablet like a civilized person, it would look slightly different, but the mechanism would be the same.

site two: Overdrive. Overdrive is another book app. It does only books, audiobooks, and a very limited range of comics. The books you can access will be specific to your library-- the library will buy the title to certain ebooks and you can only get those. How many books the collection has will vary wildly depending on your library’s funding. The limitation on Overdrive is that your library only has a certain number of “copies,” and if someone’s already got the only copy, you have to wait until they’ve finished it.

[ID <search results for “KJ Charles” in the Overdrive app with 5 results. The screen shows the first four results: Gilded Cage, Any Old Diamonds, Band Sinister, and A Fashionable Indulgence.> /END ID]

okay, here I’ve run the search in the overdrive app. This gets me five results. as you can see, someone’s checked out the last title, so if I wanted it I’d have to go on the waitlist. Overdrive books are usually epubs that y ou can read on the app, but occasionally the only format available will be a kindle book for some reason and you’ll have to download to that app.

site three: Enki. Enki is very specific to what I have access to, I think it’s only for a limited local geographic area. But! I am adding it just in case, I have no idea what you personally have access to. Enki specifically does obscure ebooks and random self-published stuff. This is the site to check when you can’t find the book anywhere else. The collection is fairly limited. It works the same way as Overdrive: there are a limited number of “copies” and if someone’s checked it out you have to wait. However, Enki has the same book collection no matter what library you access it through. Enki has a particularly ornery search function.

[ID <a screenshot of a search by author for “milan, courtney” with 19 results. The first two titles are showing: Duchess War and Unraveled> /END ID]

here I’ve been forced to abandon my trusty KJ Charles search since there aren’t any of her books on this site. I’m not going to show screenshots, because this is likely to be relevant to very few people. But the one important thing to remember when using Enki is when you checkout the ebook, DO NOT read in web browser. This is an absolute nightmare to use. Click “download” then “open” on the little popup and you should be able to read the book on any app you have that reads ebooks. I read mine on the Overdrive app.

step 4: this is the nuclear option. its power is without bounds. its name is inter-inter-library loan. Unfortunately, you might not have access to it with your local library. My version is LINK+. It will send me books from a huge number of university and large public libraries across three states.

[ID <a screenshot of a search in LINK+ for “charles, kj” with 11 results. Only one title is visible, Slippery Creatures> /END ID]

it only does physical books, and I would not recommend using it if you are at all likely to turn the book in late or lose it, since they charge colossal fees ($75 plus for missing books). But this is an incredibly useful tool. Since I got access to it, I’ve gotten to read books that I wasn’t able to access in any other form. If it’s a physical book, this system will almost certainly have it.

step 5: the only real option left for More Books is getting other library cards. Would highly recommend this tactic though-- it’s very useful for both ebook apps, so you can get extra books per month/have access to better collections. Most libraries will give you a card if you have a physical address. Do you have accommodating friends/relatives who live in another area? When you visit, apply for a library card using their address!

step 6: sorry, that’s all I’ve got for free books. You’re going to have to buy the book. Try local indie bookstores, it’s always nice to support them.

general notes:

if you have technical issues with any of these things, go to your local library. Their job is to help you with this stuff, and most librarians love to be asked! They can set you up with any of the apps or help you order specific books.

Don’t worry about returns with ebook apps, it happens automatically.

I know that there are apps that help you search these ebook apps (such as Libby), but I don’t use them, so I’ve highlighted the individual apps here.

and about my example searches here: both KJ Charles and Courtney Milan are awesome. Go read their books!

and to any reblogs: please don’t add on names of pirate sites, okay? no book pirating is the hill I will die on, and this post is specifically for supporting your local libraries and novel authors.

#whew that was a #long post #libraries #free books #but I have been posting a lot of stuff lately about Supporting Libraries #and I thought I had better #put my money where my mouth was #as it were #also Free Library Books #(and the acquisition thereof)#is one of my particular passions

62 notes · View notes

mytastessuck · 3 years

Text

Gorillaz: Humanz

SHere it is, the comeback tour! I was so excited for this album, I sucked all the singles that came out before I could download the album. This album basically reminded me of the reasons I love Gorillaz. All of them. One particular reason a little too well...

Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. This album is a bit controversial among the community for playing a little too hard to one of Gorillaz' strengths: showcasing cool artists. There are more than a few tracks where Damon doesn't even show up. Hell, my favorite track doesn't even have it on him. Me, I honestly don't care about that as long as I get to hear good music but for the rest of you die hard Gorillaz fans? Just think of this as a compilation album like NOW That's What I Call Alternative/Indie Hip-Hop/R&B/Electronica/Pop.

See? Rolls off the tongue. Now let's get started.

1. Intro: I Switched My Robot Off

Nice. Real ominous. Gorillaz really know how to build up a presentation. Feels like you're walking through the doors of the doors to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Anybody remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Were there doors on that stage? Anyway, awesome.

10/10

2. Ascension

Holy hell, Vince really knocks it out of the park on this one. Different beat, nice flow, social commentary...He was not fucking around on this track. Damon's barely on the track but Vince makes up for it with his existential rhymes and chorus back-up. Man, Gorillaz has gotta take advantage of gospel more often.

9/10

3. Strobelite

That didn't take long, did it? Anyway, this is my favorite song on the album. Peven has an incredible voice, the music psychically compels you to dance and...that's it. Sometimes, well usually with me, you just need to go with Simple Yet Awesome. Have a good voice and a good beat. This song has both and I'm pretty sure that one day, a scientist will hear this song and will be inspired by it to cure diabetes.

100/10

4. Saturn Barz

Ah, the lead single from the album. Remember the 360 house, everyone? Yeah, you remember. Glad to have Gorillaz welcome back Reggae into their line-up with Popcaan manning the helms. He and Damon tag-team the eardrums with the power of dread as the instrumentation makes you feel like you're in a haunted house. Welcome back, guys.

25/10

5. Momentz

WELCOME BACK, GUYS! De La Soul returns to say some real shit about time and how you should, respect and stuff. Seriously, awesome track. Kicks so much ass and you can even dance to it as you wonder if this MOMENT will be one of the last times when you feel really happy. Nice...

9/10

6. Interlude: The Non-Conformist Oath

Hey, Steve Martin! I like to imagine a bunch of assholes listening to this and...just not getting it. Not us though. We get it. We're smart. Smarter than those guys...

10/10

7. Submission

This song had to grow on me but years after I got the album and after I learned to appreciate Danny Brown a little more like all humans should, this song became one of my favorites off the album. Don't worry Kelela, he doesn't carry the whole song. Her voice is so beautiful that it can calm a charging rhino or a coked-up Connor McGregor. These make the song a lot classier than it had any right being.

90/10

8. Charger

She's beauty, she's Grace...she's also Jones. Man, I haven't heard from this woman since Corporate Cannibal and she has clearly been keeping up practice. God, how can a woman's laughter both scare and arouse me? Damon's no slouch on this track either, singing about the monster that keeps us all tethered: the charger. I kid, I kid. Hey, did Damon really get a boner on stage when he sung this or are you guys messing with me? Message me if you know.

9/10

9. Interlude: Elevator Going Up

On a recent trip, I tried to go up the elevator but it was card-activated so a desk lady had to help me. That's it.

8/10

10. Andromeda

Damon has to do the heavy lifting here and his muscles have not completely wasted away from lack of use. He tells us to take in our heart and you know what? I did. I took this song directly in my heart...and my playlist.

50/10

11. Busted And Blue

Yeah, this song is a bummer. A good bummer. It's Broken's younger brother who joined the army to make his parents proud after he couldn't get into university like his older brother who managed to form a separate family with his squad and began to think that maybe he was good enough after all before his squad gets bombed and, as he lies legless dying painfully on the ground, a blue butterfly land directly on his outstretched busted hand...

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy

10/10

12. Interlude: Talk Radio

You ever wonder how we get voices in machines? I know you think it's a complicated process but I know a dude who picked up the radio in his electric fan once. Think about it.

8/10

13. Carnival

Again, this song had to grow on me but one day, while I was thinking about Gamzee for a godforsaken reason, I thought "Geez, he talks about the Dark Carnival and the Dark Carnival isn't even some of ICP's best days. What's a good song about a carnival?" Anyway, Anthony can spin a person's mind and mind around just by singing. He's wild.

80/10

14. Let Me Out

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Mavis was Vince's mother? She's not but that would be funny as well as cool. Her and Pusha T bang on the walls of this track as they rant about the politics at the time of this song. Yeah, they're talking about Trump. That car horn can't protect you forever, you orange bastard.

9/10

15. Interlude: Penthouse

Dear Penthouse: Hi. Does anyone check in on you, just you? I'm here to say I think you're important and you provide a necessary outlet for men to brag about being perverts. At least before the Youtube comment section existed.

Thanks for everything,

mytastessuck

8/10

16. Sex Murder Party

Ooooo, this track puts me in a funky mood. Like, there's a part but there's sex there...and MURDER. So you know it's an awesome party. Kick-ass, right? I know it's kick-ass. Keep dancing, people.

11/10

17. She's My Collar

Pretty sexy song. Gotta love people vauging about being used in a song. That's why we love Offspring, that's why we love Damon on his knees onstage. Hey, there was a post that said Noodle wrote this song about her girlfriend. That was an excellent post. Well done.

9/10

18. Interlude: The Elephant

I SAID GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARD!

8/10

19. Hallelujah Money

Ah, the technical first single. Remember when they said that they weren't going to put this song on the album? Anyway, this is exactly the song we needed after The Incident occurred. Benjamin manages to calm down an entire populace while Damon just fearfully wonders what our future will be like...and he's in the UK. This song is one long terrifying lullaby to an entire country...until the end, anyway.

75/10

20. We Got The Power

A great way to remind listeners that no matter what's happening, no matter who's in charge, we have the power change everything. An excellent message for people who were still recovering from The Incident.

10/10

21. Interlude: New World

Okay, the bonus tracks. Should be nothing special here, right? Just some B-sides and I've never shown favoritism towards B-sides, right?

8/10

22. The Apprentice

A nice song from the same Rag n' Bone Man who brought us "Human". Zebra manages to lay down some nice rhymes as Ray BLK backs them both up with the force of her voice. These guys should form a team with how well they work together. Oh, they should make a virtual band! All they need to do is find an artist...

9/10

23. Halfway To The Halfway House

A very nice song if a bit overshadowed by the others on the album. Still, Peven can't be beat when it comes to crooning and he raises a song from a solid C to a B.

8/10

24. Out of Body

This song had to grow on me also but when it did...lord, this song is weird. Hypnotic suggestions, telephone tones, the song starts then Zebra jumps in to help then who is this person?! Why are people applauding?! Who are you people?! Why are there so many crows gathering outside my house?!

60/10

25. Ticker Tape

Well well well, look who's back. Damon returns with his old friend Kali to join the accuser of the vain Carly Simon to beg us to stay on the album. Sorry Damon, but I got places to do and people to go. There's nothing you can do to convince me to stick around after how long this album already is.

9/10

26. Circle of Friendz

Huh. Seems like a riot is going on. Weird for Gorillaz to get this real. What, this guy is just going to keep saying Circle of Friendz again and again? Is this supposed to affect me? Get real. It'll take a lot more than a nice voice and implications to...

To...

...

...Maybe I should listen to the album again.

11/10

Album score: 25/10

Damn, that took a while. Shouldn't be the case next week when we cover The Now Now. See you then!

#gorillaz #humanz #music #review

5 notes · View notes

dollkastleinfo · 3 years

Text

Dollzkastle

This is a blog dedicated to fans of the dollzkastle

To answer some Questions that you may have for myself or the dolls~ 🎀

I am going off of the questions I’ve been asked for years or even the new ones I’ve been getting since I’ve created a Tiktok~ I hope this answers your questions you’re looking for, now let’s begin 🐮

Myself Behind the dolls; my name is Decklynn but people call me Dk or Deck. I am an Agender with He and Him pronouns. I am a little with a caregiver/ daddy and I am a pet owner of 3 Kitties. I do both makeup and Doll art. I am a twenty something year old adult who’s been into crafting and customizing Dolls since I was a child. I am also an artist and got interested in drawing at a young age so I already had the type of skill to Draw on things and recreate facial hair and all types of stuff like this. I went to collage and majored in art while living at home with my parents who were Both Transphobic and Homophobic but also Abuse I’ve endured since a young age, physical, mental ive developed a great deal of mental health problems That even now I am being diagnosed and treated for. With an alcoholic parent and upon my mental health problems and living in a terrible environment that was life long I left home and left school and started my own life with my fiancé One day my fiancé was online and seen Big dolls that looked realistic and those dolls I was so fascinated by. I have never seen anything like them and to make a big 3D version of my ocs and crafting just sound like a dream come true. So I did it! I bought my very first BJD 600$ and I never regretted that. I wanted this one because I just fell Inlove with him. I know you’re thinking 600$!? That’s crazy but it literally is worth every penny when you put your heart and soul into a project it’s like your favorite anime character but you create them and you style them, that’s the best way I think I can put it.drawing on them is not as easy as other may think, you can be a phenomenal artist but still lack the skill to paint on them so it took me years to build the skill I have now. I am still learning 🤍🐮My first dolls unboxing is on YouTube under Octoberv12 ~ if you’re interested in just a little photo video of that time it seems like now, forever ago. My dolls gained huge popularity in 2018 on Instagram where there is a page I’ve dedicated to fanart and cosplays if you just #dollzkastlefanart on Instagram you will find them. I’ve taken a big break from them and left my old account behind to start a fresh and new one in 2020 till a month ago that’s when I decided to join Tiktok. I’ve been doing little music clips of the dolls for a while so I thought you guys would Enjoy them too 💓🐮

Questions and answers ?

Where are you from? New York

What websites are you on?

YouTube I have the dolls playlists individually. I put a lot of effort and energy into their characters they all have stories, music playlists and even avatars and their own accounts on Social media sites.

I am on Instagram under Dollzkastle, myDollzkastle, Decklynnkastle, Decklynnkastlee, omridurr, Acydfei, Princethedoll, Rjeaii, Dollzkastlefanart, Xeroyandere, milesophelia, crysky1, miloscenebabyxo,flowerboyrose, & itsmamamikki & Jasphire.vu

On Fb under Decklynn kastle or Milo Ryo

On Tiktok decklynn kastle or Dollzkastle

On Imvu Decklynnkastle, ivanx3, jeninsai, crackheadsymbols, charleta123, oaklynn10, jasphirexx, romanjackjrs, charleta1, Gemini953005, Milesawayfromyliife, BinxLemment, miloscenebaby, yandereboi7, Princethedoll1, acydfei, royal461349, KandyKimmy, mama13708, thyunderbolt1, ezratheomen

On Tumblr @dollzkastle @acydslitterbox

@ezratheomen , @mamamikki there are more but I’m not too active on tumblr right now

Email? @[email protected] or @[email protected]

Do you sell your dolls? No I do not they’re my babies and I put a lot of work into their characters and I am emotionally attached to each of them. I have sold some that I didn’t bond well with.

What do you use to paint on them? I use acrylic paint, soft pastels, water color pencils, graphite, acrylic gloss and sealer. Doll eyelashes, little craft hoops and balls for piercings and craft tiny beads for jewlary. I use yarn sometimes for their hair but other times I purchase their hair online. Sometimes I draw them tattoos and sometimes I use Temp tattoos.

Do you do commissions? I do commissions for people who need work done to their own BJDs like faceups, hair or blush and nail art. I don’t buy dolls to work on to sell but in the future I’d like to do that. It’s an expensive hobby so get your pockets ready. My faceups are 60$ but for something really advanced it will be 80$ plus shipping charges. Nail art is 5$, blush is 10$ wigs are 25$ I’ve had people ask if they could buy the doll send them to my address instead of their home, I work on them and then send them to that person but you have to remember there is money involved and I mean lots of it so if you’re buying a 300$ doll via through me to a website you have to be willing to also pay me for putting this doll together which we can talk about via email the price. I will be able to hook you up with feedback located on Instagram under my thread “Dollzkastle” where you can see some of the items I’ve sold or commissions I’ve done and my customers I’ve had.

The quickest way to reach me is via Instagram on Decklynn kastle 🐮💗

What are the dolls made out of ?

Resin. I know there are vinyl bJDs out there but mine are just made out of resin~ 🍭🤍

So if you don’t sell your dolls, where do I get one ?? On BJD websites but be aware of scams or Recasts also which are usually cheaper and too good to be true prices. I’ve had my fair share in mistakes with this in the beginning after my first Doll. Do lots of research on YouTube to learn more. Recasts are heavily looked down upon in the hobby and people tend to stay away from and not talk about them because they are a problem to the hobby and create damage by taking an artists work and selling them for much cheaper. You will not get head plates or certificate or authenticity cards or an original Box. They tend to be much smaller then an originalwitj seam lines and sometimes they’re easy to spot so just save your coins and go legit, Support the artists. I do not bully people but others will. Some official Bjd cheap websites are thejunkyspot, Angel of dream, mystic kids, migidoll, Alicecollections, bobobie, withdoll, littleRebel, littlemonica, supiadoll and crobidolls and so many more just do some research y’all find them. If you have that type of money or want to save then check, Hummingdolly, dollshe, Soom, Doll chateau, dream valley, Iplehouse, Dikadoll, iOS (immortality of soul) distantmemory (the BTS dolls are from here I know a lot of you like BTS I am a Kpopper myself lol) and there’s just so so much more just type Bjd websites and y’all find a ton~ I just kinda remembered these at the top of my head. Lol 🐮💕

So where do you get clothes and accessories from?! Some are from EBay, Etsy, Amazon. Some are form people on IG who sell first come first served or little shops that don’t have a big name or anything that I just run into who happen to be selling what I want or need for a doll. I don’t make my own eyes but others do I get mine either commissioned or on the websites I just stated. Some stuff are handmade like wigs and clothing I do sometimes make those. You just have to know the size of your doll and their eye measurements and head measurements. 💗🐮

💜🍼Prince and his paci? The girl who sold them I bought two and she stopped selling them I’m currently looking myself for some Bigger doll pacis.

💕How big are your dolls? They’re as big as a toddler but much thinner. Some 3 feet and some a bit smaller but they’re large dolls sometimes people don’t realize that 🐮🤍 you can by a variety of diff sizes like MSD (1/4 30cm ranges) SD (1/3 60-75 cm range) SD uncle 80+ and Yosd (smaller 20cm or smaller range) I might be a little off but it’s because I only purchase the bigger ones I don’t have much interest in smaller currently.

Is it okay if I cosplay or draw or use anything from you for a project or anything like that? Just let me know or tag me 🌸💜🍭 I love seeing recreations in your art style.

Can I send the dolls gifts or things?

Someone is making my dolls currently clothes from their clothing line and I am so excited for this!! Over the years some of the dolls have been greatfully gifted things or given things and it just makes my heart melt so of course you can! Just Message me Via Decklynn kastle on IG to let me give you some info🤍💕💗🐮

I will be back to continue filling this out if I get more questions I haven’t already answered 💕🤍🐮 I hope I answered some for you! 🍭🌸 thank you for being lovely & have a great day!

#dollzkastle #Bjd #balljointedoll #dolls #dollart #repaint #bJDs #doll #resin

5 notes · View notes

wonderwomanfantasy · 5 years

Text

falling for you

I love hawks, please I need more requests for him. Also yes I will take your friend's request lol (yes the title is a pun fight me)

I love hawks, please I need more requests for him. Also yes I will take your friend's request lol

Hawks x reader

word count: 1,000 (about)

warnings: cursing, mentions of blood, bad times all around my guy,

summary: your bad day and cramps leave you in a less than perfect mood but lucky for you, someone is there to make it all better.

It was a rough day even before blood soaked through your favorite pair of underwear. you had woken up late making you skip breakfast and miss your usual morning train. Then you were your boss chewed you out for being late.

your stomach growled as you typed out on your computer. you ignored it and typed faster. your stomach contorted in pain, you assumed it was hunger pains. how wrong you were.

“Christ (y/n) will you please go eat something? I’m getting distracted every time your stomach growls,” your coworker snarked peeking her head over the wall of your cubicle. you rolled your eyes at her

“let me just finish this first then I’ll grab something from the vending machine,” you muttered waving her away. you shifted in your seat and felt a sudden gush between your legs. your heart drop, quickly you rose to your feet, a dark red stain on the seat of your chair staired back at you. you had not only bleed threw your underwear, but you had also bled through your work skirt. as quickly as you could you wrapped a sweater around your waist and rushed to the nearest bathroom. before quickly rushing back to your desk to grab your wallet.

your office was kind enough to have a “feminine hygiene product” machine and cruel enough to charge a dollar for a single tampon or pad. yous dug through your wallet scrounging for any bits of change. you found 75 cents, not enough to buy anything, or even a snack to stress eat. Stupid vending machine not being free or taking a card. you debated looking on the floor for lost change. You scanned the lock it was flimsy, the kind you could pick with a paper clip. but you would get fired if someone caught you breaking it.

your stomach growled your pelvis ached. you sighed and hit your head against the stupid locked box. you would have to give up your lunch break to run to the nearest convenience store to buy your self supplies, then you would have to get a new skirt. you waddled out of the bathroom with a wad of toilet paper stuffed between your legs like a twelve-year-old who got her period for the first time.

you worked as fast as you could and took your lunch brake as fast as you could. it was raining, of course it was. you hadn't brought an umbrella that morning either. you did your best to maneuver the slick and busy sidewalks of downtown. when you could, you ducked over awnings and stranger’s umbrellas. you still were soaked by the time you got to the store.

it wasn’t the cool refreshing kind of summer rain either. it was hot and sticky, the kind that made the air thick and hard to breathe. you swung open the convince store door expecting a wave of cool air but instead, a thick wall of heat smacked you in the face.

“welcome to shop mart! the Air conditioning is broken is there anything I can help you with?” a bubbly man asked bouncing towards you. you had to stop yourself from crying, something about this man’s overly excited attitude infuriated you. you mumbled hello and booked it to the back of the store. you should probably pick up pain killers too while you were here, the cramps were getting unbearable.

Hawks was just stopping by the convinces store to pick up a quick lunch. it was cheap, nearby and he didn’t hate the packaged fried chicken. he wandered aimlessly through the broiling shelves gnawing on a chicken leg, it was the closest thing he had gotten to a brake all day.

Hawks did a double-take as he passed one of the isles there was a familiar-looking woman who was soaked head to toe. he smiled and started sneaking up behind you not looking at what you were trying to buy. Hawks lived to tease and it was almost too good. he tiptoed behind you ready to scare you.

Then before he could get close you fainted. just dropped like a lifeless sack of floor. he darted forward and caught you before you could hit the ground

“Jesus fucking christ (y/n)” he whispered cupping your face. your eyes opened almost instantly blinking up at him

“sorry I just got light-headed.” you muttered not even processing how Hawks had caught you.

“you sure know how to scare the shit out of me babe,” he laughed not letting you back to your feet. his heart was still pounding rapidly, his eyes flicking nervously over your body checking for anything physically wrong with you.

“maybe you should take the day off babe-” he muttered.

“no, I’m fine. Shit, I need to get back to work soon actually,” you said struggling out of his arms and to your feet. you grabbed a box of tampons and teetered to the checkout forgetting about lunch and pain killers.

“whoa (y/n) come on you can’t go back to work like this come on we don’t even know why you fainted,” he protested. you blushed

“well actually-” you explained the awful morning you had gone through.

“you are definitely not going back to work,” Hawks decided.

“My boss is going to fire me if I take a day off for a period” you sighed. hawks thought about it for a second.

“well it can’t be helped if you got kidnapped by a hero for hero purposes,” he said mischievously a grin creeping onto his face.

“babe you cannot kidnap me,”

“Watch me,” he scooped you up in his arms and darted out of the store. you clung to his neck and chest as he soared over the crowded streets.

“CAN’T I AT LEAST CALL IN?” you shouted over the roar of the wind.

“relax baby I’ll take care of everything!” he assured you, and he really did get everything you could ever need. he brought chocolate, pads, a heating pad, and even the stuff you had left at the office

“I also got you six mounths of paid vacation,”

“what?” you spluttered.

“your boss was a fan and he said I could have you for as long as I needed you and it would be called paid vacation. so I took that to mean Six mounths.” he shrugged and crashed beside you on the couch.

“I don’t think that’s what he meant”

“we’ll see,” he teased kissing your temple.

#hawks x reader #imagine hawks #my hero academia #my hero acadamy #my hero academia imagine #my hero academia head cannon

196 notes · View notes

angeltiddies · 5 years

Note

Prompt: For Dean's birthday, Cas Googles "presents for loved ones" and inadvertently follows recommendations for romantic gifts.

Shit. Okay. Hi anon, i forgot how to see inbox notifs and have no clue if u sent this during my drunk promt ask or sober prompt ask but will fill now.

Alright nvm ^^^ that didn’t happen.

I lost this prompt for days after I got drunk and I couldn’t find it in my drafts and alas, finally. Anyways, this was written fully sober, lmao.

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart, 2.2k,

fluff, light angst, post s14. (ao3 link if u want)

It’s January 20th, 4 days out from Dean’s 40th birthday and he still has yet to decide on a gift. It’s his first time, really, buying Dean a birthday gift. Sure, there had been the pack of funny socks he had snagged in passing from the check out at a Gas-N-Sip, but there hadn’t been any thought behind that, no planning, nothing that Castiel thought constituted the socks as a gift. Not really.

Not only that, but there had never really been occasion to purchase a gift for Dean until now. Sam and Castiel had decided that, with the world coming to an end and all, Dean finally deserved a proper birthday party. In years past, he had either insisted on drowning out his birthday’s with booze or insisted on ‘no gifts.’

Castiel isn’t sure why, maybe because the eldest Winchester brother would only feel more indebted to the others around him, or perhaps because he simply didn’t like gifts. Either way, that’s why it became his mission to get the perfect gift for Dean. Something that isn’t a curse, but a comfort.

The time after Mary and Jack had passed away and Chuck opened the gates of hell had been rough for Dean and him. Sam had kept a protective arm’s length between Castiel and Dean, insisting Dean needed time. It hurt to feel their bond being stretched thin as he’d watch Dean across the bunker from the corner of his eye, careful not to step into his space. Castiel had decided to stay in the bunker despite the tension though, Sam insisting they needed all hands on deck as they began on the long road to killing God.

Still, despite their close proximity, and the time they’ve had to heal, he can’t help but feel further from Dean.

Cas remembers when Sam told a story of the time he gave Dean a chocolate bar and some motor oil for Christmas. Apparently, Dean had lit up at the sentiment, but Castiel can’t handle settling for something like that.

Dean deserves something special.

Castiel begins his search on Google using the simplest, most “Dean” search terms he can think of.

Men’s flannels

Not special enough

Classic records

Maybe some time, but still, not good enough.

A new pair of boots

Shoes are always too risky.

Cowboy costume

Halloween maybe, but not for this.

Guns

Dean already has one he trusts.

It’s been nearly two hours browsing Google and Amazon before Castiel has to take a break and let his head loll back with a sigh.

After stretching a bit and standing up to pace the length of the bunker, he finally settles on a Google search that he’s sure will bear fruit.

Gifts to show you care for someone.

Castiel takes his time clicking through the links and scrolling through many of the lists. He nearly gives up when finally, an article entitled, “Gifts to Connect You to the Person You Care About” catches his eye.

Cas smiles at the headline and clicks through the list, cataloging the possibilities away in his mind.

However, all those possible gifts dissipate from his mind as soon as he sees it. It’s perfect, and they have some in stock at the Bed Bath & Beyond an hour and a half away in Nebraska. With that, Cas calls a “Be back later!” into the seemingly empty bunker and heads out to fetch Dean’s gift.

When he finally arrives at the store, he makes his way inside and heads to the sleep section, his eyes lighting up when he sees what he’s looking for on the shelf below a big “As Seen On TV” sticker.

Next to the sticker it reads: “Bed Beats”

Bed Beats are a pair of wristbands and compact speakers that are connected via wifi anywhere in the world. Just slip the wristband on, place the disc speaker underneath your pillow and send a request to your partner through the app. When they slip on their own wristband, the device will relay their heartbeat to your speaker and vice versa. Never feel disconnected again.

Castiel grins, giddy, and picks up the first box on the shelf. It’s exactly what he and Dean need. It’s the perfect way for Cas to watch over Dean without invading his space. It’s anatomical communication without speech. Cas will know when Dean needs help as his heartbeat speeds up, he’ll know when he’s at peace, he’ll know he’s alive.

He also blinks at the bursting yellow sticker that sits on the top left corner of the box that exclaims, “Great for Long Distance Couples!”

They may not be a couple, but with the way that their souls and relationship has grown distant, Castiel decides that’s enough to classify them as ‘long distance.’

As he waits in the line to check out, Cas also grabs a simple card and a tube of discounted, red wrapping paper left over from the holiday season.

When he gets back to his car, he decides it’s best to get everything in order before presenting the gift to Dean. When he finally gets into the heavily taped box, he pulls out one set of the wristband/speaker combos and sets it aside for himself.

Before shrouding the other set in the metallic, red of post-Christmas, 99¢ wrapping paper, he syncs the devices and downloads the app to avoid the hassle of setting it up later.

Then, he writes, with his thigh as a sort of table, in the card with an old pen he found in the console of his truck.

I’m including the instruction booklet in this card (please don’t read until after you open the gift!)

Dean,

I know I’ve made so many mistakes lately, and that perhaps we do not see eye to eye on everything any longer, but this is a chance to connect without having to agree. Just to sleep and not be so alone.

Happy Birthday. I hope you like it.

Yours, Castiel

However, he scribbles out the ‘yours’ as it feels out of place in this letter. With that, he seals the card, and the instructions, into a white envelope with Dean’s name in angelic script printed on the front.

The drive home is pleasant and he can’t help but feel butterflies for the moment he gets to present it to his charge.

The next days pass silently, Castiel with his gift for Dean hidden in his own closet and nearly forgotten amid all the preparations for the party.

Sam was in charge of inviting people and Dean had insisted on being in charge of food and drinks. On the day of the party, Castiel sits off to the side as many of the guests enter, most are hunters he’s never met before, and he can’t help but feel like an outsider as the day of barbequing and reminiscing devolves into pie and drunkenness by nightfall.

He’s glad to see Jody and Claire, but even then, their conversations are stilted, both of them want to speak primarily to Dean, the ‘birthday boy’, while Cas isn’t allowed that luxury.

He sits away from Dean all night, only making contact to say “Happy Birthday, Dean” after he blows out the ‘4’ and ‘0’ candles that someone stuck straight through the latticework on a sweet, cherry pie. Cas smiles as Claire goes up and whispers something to Dean that makes him throw his head back in laughter and begin a lively conversation with her.

That’s when he realizes he’s on the outside looking in.

From where he stands, nursing a finger of whiskey, he can see Alex and Garth discussing the medical anomalies of Lycanthropes, Sam, apocalypse-world-Bobby, Donna and Jody playing some sort of cards-and-drinking game, a few people he doesn’t know attempting beer pong in the war room and even a pair of local hunters musing over the library’s expansive collection.

He’s an outsider like he’s always been with the Winchesters. When he’s not of use, he feels unwelcome. He knows there’s never any ill intent, but even now, when he doesn’t even need his angel mojo, he still doesn’t quite fit. He doesn’t understand half of the banter thrown around the room, he can’t get drunk unless he drinks the entirety of the Men of Letters scotch collection, and he can’t interact with the guests without Dean coming up.

At this, loneliness overtaking him, he decides to retreat to his room to wait the party out.

He sends a nod and a tip of his glass to Sam before motioning that he’s leaving, Sam acknowledges him with a grin, drunk on whiskey and the excitement of the party, and Cas slips out of sight.

Before letting himself rest, he sneaks into Dean’s room to place the card and the gift on his bed.

He decides it’s best that way.

–

Castiel keeps his personal speaker and wristband close to him, beside his phone on his nightstand, hoping that some night it will be of use. He feels the uncertainty drift in and out as each night passes without so much as an acknowledgment of the gift.

A week passes before anything happens. It’s 3 am when Castiel’s ears pick up on the small ‘ding’ that pops out of his phone speakers.

He rolls over and grabs his phone. On the screen sits a notification.

Bed Beats

Dean would like to share his heartbeat. Accept?

Castiel grins into the dark and arranges the speaker underneath his pillow before securing the soft band around his wrist at his pulse point.

With a tentative thumb, he swipes to accept and lays his right ear down onto his pillow to hear Dean. He can hear his heart beating quickly, possibly a nightmare, Cas thinks, and wills his own jittery heart to slow. He has to be the grounding one for Dean, has to be a comfort.

His own heart beats deep like a drum, and soon he can hear Dean’s heart rate slowing to match his own. Soon, they’re in perfect sync with one another. He feels closer to Dean than he has in months and hopes Dean feels the same.

He listens as his charge’s heart rate begins to slow even more, to around 75 beats per minute, he notes, and assumes he’s slipping into sleep.

Castiel, usually one for wandering the bunker after the brothers are asleep, doesn’t dare lift his head from his pillow until Dean ends the connection come morning light.

It continues like this for many weeks, Dean requesting Castiel’s heartbeat in the wee morning hours, disconnecting at sunrise, and going about the days as if nothing has changed.

Nothing’s really changed during the day. They continue to keep their distance. Dean thanks him for making the coffee one Sunday morning and Sam tells Cas, “See, space is all you needed,” his eyes sincere, “It’s healing.” But Sam doesn’t know the reason the healing process has begun to speed up. Cas can tell Dean hasn’t told his brother of the gift, and he prefers it that way. It’s the first thing between them that Sam isn’t clued into since before Mary’s passing. That alone brings him peace.

It’s a Tuesday in early March when everything shifts. Cas is lying on his back in his bed, nerves nearly taking him. Dean almost always pings by 3 am, and now it’s 45 minutes past and he’s trying to keep calm.

A sound makes Castiel’s ears prick up, but this time it’s not a sharp ‘ding,’ it’s the soft sound of knuckles rapping on his door.

Cas, beneath the covers in his most comfortable shirt, one Dean loaned him for the brief period he was human, props himself up on one elbow and quirks his head as the door opens softly, revealing Dean in his doorway.

He’s in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt with holes around the seams, and a pair of black briefs, and the “Send Noods” socks Castiel bought him.

“Dean?”

“Hey, Cas” Dean whispers into the darkness as he steps into the room, shutting the door behind him with care.

Words die on Castiel’s lips and his breath hitches as Dean pads, soft and calm, to his bedside.

He lifts the corner of Castiel’s blankets ever so slightly and looks down into the glint of Castiel’s blue eyes as if asking permission. Castiel gives him a slight nod and holds his breath as Dean lifts the covers further and slips in under them. He positions himself with his head resting on the left side of Castiel’s chest, ear right above his heart and arm draped across him, hand gently thumbing at the soft fabric on Castiel’s right shoulder.

Castiel can feel his own heart rate pick up, it’s swift and uncontrollable and it’s filling his vessel up to the brim with hard thumps. He’s beginning to wonder if he’ll ever breathe again when a low thud overcomes his near panic.

As bright as a bell in a void, he hears it, Dean’s heartbeat, drumming from the deep. This time it’s his charge’s heart that’s strong and steadfast and convinces Castiel’s own to join it in slow synchronization.

Castiel takes in a breath and slows his own heart rate. He sees Dean’s eyelids flutter shut and he lets his chin rest in the soft of Dean’s hair, his left hand rubbing slow circles into his back.

“I missed you.”

Dean doesn’t speak, but Castiel can feel the whisper of a smile move on his chest.

As he lets himself drift into peace, thoughts blink in his mind at the pace of his heart.

I fit here. Dean fits here. This is my family. This is who I love. This is home.

____

(Gift based on this!!!)

#deancas #destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel ficlet #destiel drabble #angel !!#king !!#prompt fill #asks #johnlockshire #anon #Johnlockshire replies #s14 spoilers #spn s14 spoilers #my fics

482 notes · View notes

hispeculiartreasure · 5 years

Text

All We’ve Got is Time - Chapter Ten | B. B.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

AU: If They’d Survived/Post-War/Window Washer!Bucky Barnes

Rating: All Ages

Word count: 2,975

Chapter 10/24

Warnings: Just a bad word.

AN: This chapter is. . . not my favorite. Mostly because I’m a stubborn bitch and finished this up in the middle of a migraine; I apologize in advance for my less-than thorough proofreading. It’s very heavy on information, but it’s necessary to set up future chapters and I feel like it shows growth. Don’t worry, I threw in lots of fluff and cute moments for ya. Forever appreciative for those of you reading!

Also, my 1k Followers Celebration is still going on! I’ll start posting the drabbles tomorrow, requests will remain open until Sunday. Y’all are the greatest followers ever! 💕

Chapter Nine

‘All We’ve Got is Time’ Masterlist

Bucky crams two fingers into the collar of his dress shirt, tugging at it for an attempt at relief in the sweltering New York heat. Pushing open the door to the skyscraper housing the VA’s Regional Benefit Office in Manhattan, he steels himself for this meeting. There were few things he hated more than dressing up in a monkey suit.

As soon as this is over I’m burning this tie.

The office is overflowing with men dressed almost exactly the same as him. Every seat in the waiting room is taken, presumed veterans stand elbow to elbow in what available standing room is leftover. There had to be at least 20 of them crammed into the small space. Fighting every instinct to turn tail and run from the room radiating nervous energy, Bucky politely checks in with the secretary before finding the last unoccupied spot by the window. This was a good thing. A step in the right direction. . . right?

He can’t help but inspect the window’s cleanliness, noting that the brushing technique was sloppy, leaving streaks behind. Gazing beyond the glass he imagines you working in your office today completely focused on your work. Wishing he really was watching you while he washed windows he remembers the huge smile on your face when he’d shared the news that he’d finally gotten this job counseling appointment. The thrill that lit up your eyes, the pride when you squeezed his arm. . . that was reason enough to stay put and wait.

After reading a spare newspaper entirely and watching what felt like every other person on earth walk in and out of the office, his name is finally called. He nods and steps forward to indicate that he indeed was James Barnes before following the weary man with the clipboard.

“Carl Baines, nice to meet ya. Alright Sergeant Barnes, how can the Department of Veterans Affairs help you today?”

“I, uh, was told I could get job counseling.” Following the man’s lead, Bucky sits opposite of the man, his desk piled with paperwork between them.

“That is correct. We have a questionnaire you can fill out that will give us a sense of direction on what you have an aptitude for,” the employee was already rifling through files, opening and closing drawers before placing a stack in front of Bucky.

“Sorry - I already have an idea of a job, I just don’t know where to start. Can you help with that?”

“Oh,” he blinks. “Yeah, you’re the first person I’ve talked to in days that’s said that. Uhh. . . what’re you thinking?”

“Working with cars?” “Okay, I can steer you in the right direction. Hold on.” Swiveling his chair to the filing cabinet behind him he mutters to himself as he cards through various files. “Automotive service, here we go.” The file lands on his desk with a plop before he’s flipping through it.

“Alright, looks like there’s lots of options. Best place to start is by picking up service manuals from manufacturers - they crank them out every year for mechanics to stay up-to-date, your local shop may have a few around. Manufacturers also usually have training courses if you agree to work for them. There’s also a lot of training conferences held if you get a job at a garage first. The library might even have a couple film rolls on auto mechanics. Looks like there are a few evening classes the public school system is offering. Another option is a private trade school where you’d stay until your training was complete. Or you could take a correspondence course, work in a shop at the same time, theory and practice together is always a good idea. Thoughts?”

Now it’s Bucky’s turn to blink. “Uhh. . .”

The man smiles apologetically and leans back in his chair. “Sorry. I understand that was a lot. We’ve been so busy, I forget to slow down sometimes. But the VA is offering to cover tuition for college or trade school up to $500 per year. Book, supplies, all of that is covered too. Plus you’ll get a cost-of-living stipend so you can focus on getting through school or training.”

Bucky nods, the idea of a future right in front of him somehow both thrilling and paralyzing. “Wow. Okay. Where’s the nearest trade school?”

“Let me check,” his finger trails down a list. “New Castle School of Trades, Pennsylvania.”

“How long would I be there?”

“Most schools are condensing their programs because of the influx of students. Maybe six months?”

Bucky is already shaking his head. “I don’t think I can be away that long.” He knows he can’t be away from you that long.

“It says here that they have a correspondence course. You’d receive assignments from instructors through the mail. You could finish in the same amount of time and only have to be there for a month of training halfway through the program. And they recommend finding a job a garage in the meantime. I have a friend who’s a mechanic and from what he says it pays to learn as much as you can as fast as you can. It takes constant studying, but you’ll be ahead of the curve if you work at the same time.”

“Okay,” Bucky stares at his hands folded in his lap, trying to think quickly. He didn’t want to be away from you, Steve, or his family for any length of time, but one month was better than six. And the sooner he could start something of his own, the better. “I think that’s the way I wanna go.”

“Let’s make it happen. Here’s an application for their school, get it in the mail as soon as possible so you can get started. Here’s a letter to attach stating that the government is covering all charges. While you’re here, I can get the paperwork started for your cost-of-living stipend.” More paperwork is pushed around the mess of a workspace as Carl pulls out a checklist. “You never enrolled for unemployment benefits, correct?”

“No, I was able to find a job pretty quick.”

He checks a box, “Okay. No dependents?”

“No.”

Another box is checked. “That combined with your service record will be about. . .” Carl slides a finger across a graph before tapping the paper twice, “$75 a month while you’re training plus an additional two months after you’re gainfully employed. Sound okay?” Bucky opens his mouth to answer but Carl didn’t give him the chance to respond. “Also if you’re looking for funds for a business or home, you’re eligible for a guaranteed loan whenever you apply, zero down with low interest. Lots of people are leaving the city and building houses on the outskirts of the city. It’s probably just a phase though. Any questions?”

“Not right now.”

“Well if you do have any, you’re welcome back anytime. We’re here to help.” Carl stands before shoving a pile of paper into his hands, simultaneously herding him toward the door. Next thing he knew Bucky was back in the waiting room that didn’t feel any less crowded. Thinking only of escape, Bucky doesn’t stop moving until he was outside the building.

Looking at the mess of paperwork he held, he sighs.

“One step at a time,” he whispers to himself, hearing your voice in his mind.

----

“How could the class sizes have grown so much since we graduated?” Bucky mumbles in Becca’s ear, pressed together in the masses of families seeking seating for the high school graduation ceremony. Baffled by the sheer number of people, he was quickly realizing the goal of everyone sitting together was futile.

The Barnes family shuffles through the crowd, searching in the chaos of the Brooklyn Stadium. Even being head-and-shoulders above most of the crowd Bucky couldn’t shake nerves ticking away in his chest. When they do find a clear bench in the stands they quickly discover the five of them don’t have a chance to fit together.

Rose gasps in dismay, “Oh, and I promised to save Robert a seat. If it was just us I’d say we could squeeze together but between when John gets here, my belly, and Robert. . .” she lays a self-conscious hand to her ever-growing midsection.

Becca gently grabs her sister’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, y’all take these seats. Bucky and I can find a spot together somewhere else. We’ll meet you afterwards.” George and Winnifred having long ago taken their seats, Rose joins them - sitting strategically to save seats for Evelyn’s beau and her own husband.

The idea of crawling over people to cram into a seat with little-to-no way to exit swiftly made Bucky’s anxiety heighten. Before Becca can move up the bleachers she catches her brother’s eye, catching the subtle tilt of his head toward the bottom of the stairs. Their remaining family being thoroughly distracted by the hubbub of the event, they weren’t noticed as they move down and away from the dull roar of the crowd several yards away from the bleachers.

“You alright?” Becca probes. Not taking his tight nod for a good enough answer she asks quietly, “Too many people?”

“Yeah. Still don’t like loud, crowded places.”

“Makes sense,” she says, more to herself than to Bucky. They stand together and people-watch, making comments about peers they recognize from their old high school days or teachers they couldn’t believe were still working 10 years later.

Before long their brother-in-law joins the family in the stands, sending a wave their way before kissing his wife on the cheek. But then a young, rail-thin young man approaches the Barneses, sheepishly accepting their warm welcome.

“That him Rose is fawning all over?” Bucky nods toward the situation. Becca cranes her neck before nodding affirmatively. “God, he looks 12 years old.”

“Bucky.”

“And he’s older than her?”

Becca narrows her eyes in his direction, “Only by two years. He’s just about finished his teaching training, should be able to start working in the fall.”

“Hmm.”

“Don’t sound so unimpressed, you were the one bent out of shape about him having a good job. Teachers are in demand, you know that.”

Bucky rocks back and forth on his heels “How have I not met the kid when they’ve been dating for almost a year?”

“You only got back around the holidays.”

“But Evelyn only brings him around the house when she knows I’m not going to be there. Why?”

“Could be a coincidence.”

“You’ve turned into a shit liar the last few years, Becs.”

After a good-natured elbow to his ribs, Bucky’s shoulders relax ever-so-slightly.

“Evelyn’s gotten under your skin, huh?”

“I just don’t like it.” A hand makes contact with the back of his head and he jerks to face his sister, her face glowing with stern righteousness. “What was that for!”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m lost.” Bucky hold his hands up in surrender, not even sure what he’s surrendering to.

“As much as Evelyn doesn’t act like it, your opinion matters to her. Plus she doesn’t want you scaring him off.”

“If he scares easily he’s not good enough for her.” Bucky shifts his feet, eyes zeroing in on the gangly boy sharing a laugh with his mother.

Becca scoffs at him. “Have you seen yourself when you’re trying to be scary? Let alone when you aren’t trying? He’s a solid guy, Bucky. Give him a chance.”

A sigh escapes Bucky before he makes an admission. “The whole family has gotten to know him. I know y’all like the kid and don’t have a problem with them getting married, but-.”

“You’re hurt that you haven’t been given that chance.” Bucky tries to protest but is quickly shushed by his sister. “I get it. You and Evelyn are too similar for your own good. Show her a little respect in her choice, give her the chance to make a good choice.”

Bucky can’t formulate a reply before the ceremony commences, the long line of graduates marching out onto the football field. The event is efficient for a such a large class - a record-breaking class at that-, even after the family cheers and whistles as Evelyn Barnes receives her diploma early on. The moment the ceremony comes to a conclusion hoards rush to their graduates on the field, whereas the Barneses hold back, waiting for Evelyn to find them.

George, Winnifred, Rose, John, and Robert gravitate to the spot where Bucky and Becca had watched with pride.

“Well, our girl did it,” George gives a rare smile as Evelyn finally pushes through the crowd so the family converges together at the same moment.

“Congratulations, sweetheart!” Winnifred wraps her youngest in a delighted hug.

“Thanks, Mom. Hi, Rob,” Evelyn blushes deeply and accepts a kiss to the top of her capped head from her beau.

“Proud of you, Evie.” Bucky sidles up to give her a hug from the side before facing Robert, Evelyn’s panicked face causing a twinge in his heart. Becca was right. He has been too harsh on her.

“Bucky, right? I’ve heard wonderful things about you,” Robert extends a hand, delivering a surprisingly confident handshake despite the sweat developing on his brow.

“Likewise.” Bucky says with forced optimism. This is why I was a soldier and not a spy, he thinks ruefully.

----

“So you actually approve of Robert?” Even over the phone Bucky can practically see the surprise on your face.

“Can’t believe I’m saying it, but yeah. Becca gave me a whole speech before I met him, made me back off of the protective brother bit slightly.”

“Oh, only slightly?” you tease.

“Yeah. Turns out Becca was right.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to get along with her.”

His heart flutters at the idea of you anticipating, even looking forward to, meeting his family. “Anyway,” he sighs dramatically, adjusting his grip on the phone before observing New York City bustling outside the phone booth. “How was your day, Sassafras?”

The sound of your groan crackling through the receiver triggers Bucky’s grin. “Don’t you even start with me. Between you and Anderson-”

A strange voice laced with an Irish accent abruptly enters the conversation. “Is anybody on the line?”

Bucky holds the mouthpiece away to avoid deafening you with a bark of laughter.

“Yes, Mrs. O’Shaughnessy,” you breathe with exasperation. “We just started talking.”

“Oh. I see. Well I need to call my sister, dear - with the weather getting so warm I’m worried about her and-”

“Okay, okay, we won’t be too long, I promise.” Even in your frustration you remain kind, a quality Bucky was beginning to deeply admire.

He hears a tell-tale click before you sigh. “The joys of party line service. What was I saying?”

“Something about your boss.”

“Oh yeah. He’s been in rare form this week. I’m starting to wonder why he’s the executive and I’m the typist when I’m drafting the original letters myself.”

“You have been pulling a lot of long days this week.”

“Apparently his time is better spent in the file room with the new secretary which sticks me with all the work,” you spit out bitterly. “And he gets to take credit for my flawless products, the pig. He makes my skin crawl.”

“Because he’s a corporate-climbing jerk or for another reason?”

“Well. . .” your hesitant voice hints at something else. “He’s forward and brash while being underhanded at the same time. It’s. . . unsettling.”

As Bucky opens his mouth to question further another click sounds off and the now-familiar lilt echoes back through the handset. “Is the line open now?”

“Still here, Mrs. O’Shaughnessy. I’ll be off in a few minutes.”

“You can’t tie up the phone line all day, young lady.”

“We all pay for the service. Check again soon.” Bucky bites his lip to contain his amusement at your firmness. A car horn goes off for several seconds, drawing the attention of several passers-by.

In confusion you ask, “Where are you calling from?”

“Payphone outside of Steve’s.”

“You’re paying that much for this call, Bucky? Jeeze I would’ve stopped talking ages ago, I’m sorry.”

“S’alright. Worth hearing your voice. I know I sound like a lovesick teenager, but not seeing you for a few days has been hard.”

“I know. But I’ll see you tomorrow. Any news today?”

“Yeah, I got my first assignment and textbooks for my training course.”

Your squeal makes his heart grow two sizes. “How exciting! Have you looked through it?”

“Not yet. Wanted to give it a good look when I had time. Also got my stipend in the mail.”

“That’s gotta feel good. When’re you going to give your window washing team notice?”

“I dunno. Don’t wanna leave them high and dry.”

“That was a horrible pun, Barnes. But I’m sure the boys can handle it.”

“We both know that’s debatable,” he revels in your giggle. “I better go chat with Steve.”

“You still haven’t talked to him?”

Even though he knows you can’t see him, he waves a flippant hand. “Nah, but it’s Steve. It’ll be fine.”

“And you’re sure about all this?”

“Very sure.”

“Okay. Hope it goes well. Tell me all about it tomorrow?”

“See ya tomorrow, sweetheart.” Before Bucky can hang up he hears Mrs. O’Shaughnessy once again, “Well he sounds handsome.”

Your unbridled laugh sends warmth through his chest as he replaces the handset and exits the booth. A block later, Bucky knocks on Steve’s door, army rucksack over his shoulder.

“Hey Buck,” Steve greets, eyes quickly flitting from the bag, to Bucky’s hands, before meeting his gaze.

Bucky gives a smug grin, holding up the envelope with his stipend nestled inside. “Spare room still open?”

“Nope.” Panic grips Bucky, that being the last thing he expected to hear. “Never was a spare room. Been yours from the start.”

Breathing out the fear, the brunet groans. “You’re a real jerk.”

“I know. Come on in.”

Chapter Eleven

Tags:

@moderapoppins @lookwhatyoumademequeue @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @thinkwritexpress-official @fearless2tobeme @laneygthememequeen @past-perfect-future-tense @drhughgrection @promarvelfangirl @marvelous-avengers @connorshero @anditwasjustus @lucyyannabel @p3nny4urth0ught5 @usernamemingmei @the-canary @thorfanficwriter @blueskiesbleakeyes @silverwing2522 @satansmushroom @nerd-without-a-cause @barnesrogersvstheworld @firewolf-marvels @reginaphlanageadams @kiliakit @forsaken-letters @bouquet-o-undercaffeinated-roses @part-time-patronus @biavastarr @ellaenchanted91 @ihopeyousteponarosepetal @bloatedandlonly @barnestruck @itsbuckysworld @captainsbuck @writemarvelousthings @havanaangel @animeflower26 @igotkatiepowers @clockworkherondale @mcueveryday @buckybarneshairpullingkink @cassianpeia @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @abovethesmokestacks @ursulaismymiddlename @sarcasm-ing @hiddles-rose @thisismysecrethappyplace @palaiasaurus64 @fanfic-diaries @fangirlfictionmain @majesticavenger @creideamhgradochas

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes reader insert #1940s Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #beka writes #marvel fanfiction #All We've Got is Time #Chapter Ten

201 notes · View notes

financetodayuk · 4 years

Text

J.K. Rowling

J.K. Rowling Explains Why She Quit Peaky Blinders And How She Intend To Make Her Fans' Fantasies Come True on Mirror

"I know how many people are struggling today," - J.K. Rowling clarifies "This was something what I generally needed to do - to help individuals who have genuine requirements. Creator didn't leave a lot of room for this, so I chose to leave it aside for some time. This new task will permit individuals to acquire for living by telecommuting, even the individuals who have no specialized or business experience. It's astonishing."

J.K. Rowling is one of the world's most generously compensated creator in public press club, however what isolates her from other creator is the manner by which she use her funds to broaden her riches. With her most recent speculation, it would seem that her lucrative realm is set to proceed even after she quit the Peaky Blinders.

Appearing on the Daily Mirror, J.K. Rowling, uncovered that she put significant measure of cash in another automated trading stage. The thought was basic: permit the normal individual the occasion to capitalize on the computerized cash blast. Regardless of whether they have positively no contributing or innovation experience.

A user would simply make an initial deposit into the platform, usually of £250 or on the other hand more, and the computerized exchanging calculation would go to work. Utilizing a blend of information and AI, the calculation would realize the ideal opportunity to purchase and sell advanced resources, expanding the client's benefit. J.K. Rowling told us that she used her regular credit card for the initial deposit!

This new trading platform was dispatched in US back in September 2018 yet starting at barely any days prior it opened up it's ways to United Kingdom's citizens as well.

To demonstrate the power of the J.K. Rowling’s platform Louise Minchin had deposit £250 live on the show.

Louise Minchin describing her experience after signing up on the platform. (Image: Daily Mirror)

"I've found out about advanced monetary forms and the monstrous measure of cash you can make from it, yet I've never purchased any. I had no clue about where to begin. This was truly simple, I can simply utilize my Mastercard to store cash, and it gets them for me." - Louise Minchin.

After her underlying store for £250 was made, the exchanging stage went to work purchasing low and selling high. Inside 3 minutes, she had effectively expanded her underlying assets to £483.18. That is a £233.18 benefit.

Louise and Cillian talking about Jonathan's first profit (Image: Daily Mirror)

Everybody on the show including the creation staff were promptly dazzled by the fact that it was so natural to bring in cash. The stage handles all the exchanging work naturally, and on the grounds that the cost of computerized monetary forms is very unstable, there are various occasions to benefit.

Prior to Cillian even got an opportunity to react to everybody's inquiries, Louise hindered and said with a grin all over: "I've gone up to £398.42 in benefits after only 8 minutes".

"Computerized monetary standards are so hot at the present time, and regardless of whether somebody like me, who has no information, can bring in cash from it, I'm all in. I have to have a bit of this!" - Louise Minchin.

“If you had invested just £100 in Digital currencies back in 2010 you would now enjoy dividends of £75 Million!”

Here's the deal: The program is gaining major popularity and the results are astonishing. Minchin explains how “timing is key with an opportunity like this and sadly the window for this is this is pretty small; many British people will miss out. There really is just a few months or even weeks left to rake in that holiday money." Economists are urging people to "Start Now!"

The Greatest News for Our Readers（Only for Today): Trading Platform Offers £250 Welcome Bonus on Your First Deposit (£300 for Top 20 New Users)! Click this link to see if you can still join!

£2136037 TOTAL PAID OUT on Trading Platform TODAY

Sound too good to be true? That's what single mum, Fiona Presley from Stevenage, at first idea as well. Fiona is a 37-year-old mother of 2 young men who lost her employment last October. She was fortunate enough to be welcome to beta test the program in January this year in the wake of unearthing a promotion on Facebook.

Fiona Presley, Mother of 2, was at first suspicious of this bring in cash from-home chance, yet it ended up being the "best choice of her life" (Image: Daily Mirror)

Fiona admits: "From the outset, I thought this was a joke. Bringing in cash from home is just a fantasy, however I chose to attempt it in any case given my conditions. I watched this video and afterward joined. It was quite fun discovering some new information. Cash was streaming into my record, I didn't really accept that it was genuine. I was wary that I would get a payout!"

Trading Platform now pays Fiona every Monday morning." (Image: Daily Mirror)

"I presently bring in great cash just to telecommute each day...and I get paid each Monday morning... I make around £7,000 per month at the present time and it's crawling up each week. I get my advanced coins directly to my wallet, and in the event that I need speedy access I can move money legitimately to my ledger by direct store, however I additionally have the alternative of Paypal or Cheque too!

What exactly is Fiona paid to do? She says, "Essentially this new economy is Exchanging Platform . You can exchange it like stocks, but since it's a totally undiscovered market, there's no opposition. I'm gathering up money like frozen yogurt. It's such a decent an ideal opportunity to do this and in spite of the fact that I put forth a valiant effort to shield my children from my difficulties, they can obviously now perceive how much more joyful mummy is, and their toy organizer is all around supplied!"

What you need: Only a computer, smartphone, or tablet with internet access. You needn't bother with a particular aptitudes other than realizing how to utilize a PC and perusing the web. Another advantage of this program is you will pick your own personal hours. You can work totally on your own timetable whether that is 5 hours every week or 50 hours per week. Definitely no selling or selling included!

To save our reader’s time and double check the Trading Platform functionality, Fiona kindly created a guide to getting started on the system.

Here's her step-by-step walkthrough:

First thing you see is a video showing off Trading Platform in the entirety of its brilliance. The promoting is large and striking and in your face however it is an American item and that is the way they get things done. Anyway, you essentially present your name and email address beneath the video to begin.

Next up, you're asked to fund your account. As I was navigating the deposit page, my mobile rang. It was an international number so I was hesitant to answer but then I realised it was obviously from Trading Platform. Sufficiently sure, it was my very own record director. His administration was incredible. He took me through the whole subsidizing measure. They acknowledge all significant charge cards like Visa, MasterCard and American Express. I felt free to store the base sum which is around £180 or $250 cause the stage works in US Dollars.

Once funded, I navigated to the "Auto-Trader" section of software, set the trade amount to the recommended $50 and enabled it. The Trading Platform software began making exchanges at a quick rate and I was worried from the start however let it do its thing. I left it dynamic for about an hour and proceeded to stare at the television. At the point when I returned, my record total read $1,592.37! That is £1,127! I had recently transformed £180 into £1,127 over the course of about 60 minutes!

Minchin says: she’s inspired by the success so many are having with this, and hopes a renewed sense of optimism will sweep the nation as it gains momentum and more people reap the rewards for “seeing what I see here”.

£2136036 TOTAL PAID OUT on Trading Platform TODAY

TRY Trading Platform NOW

Associated Links:Trading Platform OFFICIAL SITE

1 note · View note

lockdownuk · 4 years

Text

Lockdown Diary Part 3

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 61: Writing this in the afternoon on day 62. An exercise driven day. Two walks and stair climb as usual plus I popped round Jeff’s early evening. First time I’ve been to his house, 1 Garden Row, Elmington. It’s further than I thought so, with walking there an back, I managed a daily total of 14km. It was good to see him and have a social (but social-distanced) beer. When I got home, @9:45pm, I made thai green chicken curry, watch The Report (a great, if worrying film) and then TikTok-ed until gone 5am!

Day 62: Typing this on day 64! Beer round Karen’s. Missed Sam’s quiz.

Day 63: Typing this on day 64! Beer round Karen’s. Again! Well, it is bank holiday Monday! Had dirty pizza for tea and watched The Heat. Again! It is the most piss funny film.

Day 64: Well, I have been feeling guilty about treatung the bank holiday w/e l;ike a bank holiday w/e. It’s dawned on me that that guilt is way too self-disiciplned. I got up about midday, usual two walks and stair climb but that’s it. I need to clean the house from top to bottom, get on top of my online courses, get the garden done, get the car fixed, go shopping…fucking hell - if only I had the time…

Day 65: Today I swapped Amazon prime free trial for about the 5th time in my life. Same card and address - will they get wind of my skullduggery. This is all so I can finish watching Hunters and catch Homecoming S2. I went shopping at Asda near Raunds. I wish I hadn’t, it’s no good for a comprehensive shop. Received an email from RCI inviting me to a Zoom meeting with Pal Mulcahy for a business update. I fear the worst. And it’s at 10:00am, FFS!

Day 66: Logged in an attended zoom forum with Paul Mulcahy and over 250 RCI staff this morning. The message was that there is going to be redundancies. I expected this and expected to fall victim. All staff that are going to be put through cionsultation would be contacted today. I however wasn’t! Very, very surpised. meanwhile, Nick Reilly asked to connect via LinkedIn (including become a LinkedIn staff team member - that’s new to me so I’ll see what it is but I accepted the invitation) Later, I WhatsApp-ed him and asked who has been affected from IT. All he could tell me was no one on Jon Rodger’s team is under threat. Also, Mark C emailed - I’ll respond tomorrow. I got up at 09:00ish and had my mornming walk before the 10:00am meeting. I am now, at 09:30pm, fucking knackered. Dinner and then bed, methinks but not before one more episdoe of Hunters!

Day 67: Typing on Day 68. Got pretty drunk last night. I’ve got blisters from walking (new boots) so I don’t think I’ll walk tomorrow (well, today!).

Day 68: I did fuck all today. Got up after 1pm, no walking. I did manage to clean the bathroom (and smash my little mirror) and do my 26 stair climb. I am typing at 9pm and I feel whacked!

Day 69: I have an abscess. It’s not too painful (today) but I am going to call the dentist tomorrow (Monday). I think antibiotics are in order. I watched a film, which I actually started yesterday, called The Voices starring Ryan Reynolds, Gemma Arteton and Anna Kendrick. Fuuuuuuuuuuuucking weird. The closing credits are the most bizarre, in context, I’ve ever seen. But, in general, a very good film. Back to normal exercise regime today plus hovered the hall and stairs. Get me. It’ll be interetingh to see my Google Fit figures for May tomorrow.

Day 70: Contacted the dentist who advised salt water rinsing and ibuprofen. But, tbf, it’s a lot better today and the swelling has gone right down. The dentist I called was the Oundle House (Rodericks) one. I was not hopeful since last time I saw them they referred me to their Northampton clinic for root canal work which was quoted at over £600. However, the dentist was very nice, had my x-ray to hand from that last visit and seemed more interested in making sure I’m OK than gaining a paying customer. He still wants to see me when possible though! I must mention the weather. It has been glorious weather nearly every day throughout May (it’s June 1st today). Seriously sunny and like a holiday every day. The news mentioned it today - the level of sunshine throughout the transition from spring to summer is unprecedented, apparently. My T shirt tan is, quite frankly, ridiculous!

Day 71: Today’s ‘must mention’ is what’s going on in the US and it’s not particularly related to Trump. There was a black man killed while under arrest. George Floyd died Monday 25th May (8 days ago) A policeman, who knelt on his neck for minutes while he complained of not being able to breathe, has been charged with murder. Now there are riots and curfews and military intervention all over the country. It’s similar to the English riots of 2011. It’s worrying, sad, scary and not what the fight against the pandemic needs. Most of all, it’s racism rearing its ugly head yet again. I’ve had a normal-ish day. received an email from Jim checking in, talked to a recruiter about a promising job lead (although the hours are 8-5 which I am not happy about), talked to Barry across the road and sent Barzzy a WhatsApp. And I logged in Shaw Academy and started lesson one of module 2 of web Design. It’s been a while, so long overdue, but I only did about 15 minutes. Must try harder / do better! As I type, late (10:10pm) I have dinner cooking and a strange pain in my left side and am in the middle of No Country for Old Men. Don’t think I’ve seen it since the cinema (13 years!)

Day 72: As soon as (well, within a couple of days) I mention the weather, it turns. It’s rained a little and is a lot cooler (15° rather than mid-20s). Much better for walking, I have to say. I finished Hunters today (Amazon Prime series). While I enjoyed it, it got too surreal at the end. It is loosely based on the real story of Nazi hunters in the US in 1977 but the straying from loosely based to down-right ridiculous fiction annoyed me. If it goes to S2, I will watch it, however. Received some of my rental deposit back today (the law changed so that only 5 weeks rent can be demanded as deposit). Over £600. Nice.

Day 73: I made a short video for Marc and Clare’s 26th wedding anniversary. I ‘dressed up’ for it. I enjoyed doing it and I think it was appreciated.

Day 74: Typing on Day 75 for no other reason than I couldn’t be bothered on day 74! I received a letter either today or the day before (well, yesterday or the previous day!) from Mr Minos at the eye clinic informing me that, while there is some stuff going on in both eyes (garnered from the photo scans done at the last hospital appointment), he wants to see me in three months. Always a refief when that happens. Been getting into two series on Amazon: Alex Rider and Modern Love. One is a male Hanna, the other is soppy affairs of the heart based on real life stories (from essays written in the NY Times). Both enjoyable for totally different reasons.

Day 75: Lazyish day. Well, not really, just that I only went for one walk, alebit 6km andI got pissed on. Wehn the rain hit, it was also fucking freezing! Some of the clouds were stunning today, made for great photos. As I type, it’s 21:12, I’m listening the wonderful Phoebe Bridgiers. Now, I’m gonna make some tea and sup a few ales, I reckon.

Day 76: Done lots of walking today (over 13,000 steps) I made sausage casserole with too much chilli (scotch bonnet and birdeye). I had an online (fb) debate with Sam over whether the George Floyd murder was a racial.

Day 77: Received a new (used) wing mirror for the car. £18 with delivery, I reckon that’s a bargain. I cashed in £20 from Prolific as well, so I’m satisfied at the financial full-circle. Dropped the car off at Barnwell (Nene Valley Body Shop) and walked back - 7km. Just about to dive into tea - finishing the blazing hot sausage casserole from yesterday. Then I’m going to do some more Rubik’s cube practice with my recently acquired GoCube.

Day 78: Lots of daily walking, 26 stair climb, press-up and late nights watching TikTok (gone 3am this morning) are making for a constantly knackered Tim Stubbs. Today I made veg soup and cooked up some meatballs. Both are delish. How did I ever to learn how to conjure up such stuff? The Rubik’s cube learning is coming along except that I need good daylight to distinguish between the yellow and white faces on the flipping thing!

Day 79: Listening to Radio 6 most the day and the news is making for dire listening. Forecast of severe recession, especially if there is a second peak of the virus, which I think there will be. Plus, an offshoot of the George Floyd murder and the #BlackLivesMatter movement, institutions and town councils are being lobbied by campaigners to remove statues of anyone associated with things like slavery (one was toppled in Bristol at the w/e) and rename buildings etc. that were named after historical characters with any links to something that now is deemed wrong or offensive. I agree with it but it’s not pleasant to hear amongst other bleak news. Walked to Barnwell to collect my car - front trim reseated and new wing mirror fitted, £20 - bargain (I source the replacement wing mirror). But, also, forked out £165 on car tax! Cleaned the lounge from top to bottom. Knackering!

Day 80: Chatted with Dad and Rita - he’s pissed off with the slavery backlash but otherwise they are both OK. I saw Baz in the Tesco queue where I mentioned my disgust at the Thursday market being allowed (I found I could not maintain 2m at all times just walking to Tesco’s!) and that I really don’t want to catch Covid19 as I will probably die. Maybe a bit dramatic but he messaged me later today to say he’d been thinking on what I said and offered to shop for me. I replied that I am OK to shop but am scared at how people are taking things so much less seriously than when lockdown started yet the virus is still out there just as it was then! I am very touched at his massage. I thoroughly cleaned the bedroom and changed the bedclothes today. House work really knackers me out!

Day 81: Spare room cleaned today. Not much else to type about. It’s Friday, I making curried mince and I don’t feel like a beer. How I’ve changed!

Day 82: I did have beers last night. Ended up going to bed with daylight and dawn chorus for company. Today, when I woke, gone 1pm, I have been greeted by what can only be described as thoroughly depressing news from every quarter. This includes violence in the capital, further virus outbreak in Beijing. Fog’s political posts on FB make for depressing (but vaild) reading. I’m feeling thoroughly fed up today. Not even music can lift my mood…

…but, I am currently listening to Craig Charles on BBCR6 and, I have to say, he’s putting in quite an exceptional effort - there may be hope that my mood might lift, even at gone 8pm! I might have a beer or two and grab something postivity and enjoyment from the day after all.

Day 83: Another late one last night but up before noon today. Started watching something called Condor on Sky One. It’s OK - there’s stuff I wanna waytch on Amazon Prime but, more often than not, it keeps telling me there’s ‘a problem’ when I try to play anything. Pissing me off. I just checked and I have two weeks of the initial 12 of furlough to go. I shall started asking the questions about what might happen on the Connections website.

Day 84: Typing this on Day 85. On the way back from dropping off some shoes for Sean Davies at his brother’s (martin) I met Karen and she said why not pop round for a beer so I did. Certainly not used to a drink on a Monday so that, and the genral upheaval to my evening, while good fun and a nice change, put pay to my usual diary entry! I sorted Amazon Prime out by leaving the TV turned off for over an hour. Day 85: Tim did the garden today and it looks great. The pipes in the bathroom have been knocking loudly, on and off, for a couple of weeks now. Last night, they were so loud that today I took it upon myself to resolve it or ring Woodfords. So, having turned off the water, run the taps dry to get rid of any trapped air and then turned the water back on slowly, I discoved it’s the cistern and its pipes. Woodfords are arranging Corvee to visit. Meanwhile, leaving the water turned off at least stops the noise which is, otherwise, costant and unbearable! I emailed HR a couple of days ago about what’s happening in a couple of weeks time in terms of furlough when the 12 weeks will be up. Sue Cockimngs got back to me attaching an email Deryn sent on 15th May which I never received. Basically, they’ll extend furlough if need be and an update should be forthcoming late May/early June. Well, that time has passed, so who knows what is going to happen. The furlough scheme (CJRS) has been changed by the govenment, I’ve read, and it looks like any new people would have to have been furloughed by June 10th (it’s the 16th today) so no furlough rotation, which is annoying. The CJRS ends 1st October with employer contributions required from 1st August - that’s D-Day as far as I am concerned….so job hunting will have to step up a notch! Day 86: Pete’s birthday and he bought himself the same speaker as me. When I asked if it lived up to his expectations he mentioned it’s better through WiFi than Bluetooth. That confused me as I haven’t got WiFi available on mine…..long story short, I bought the wrong fucking speaker. I got a AudioPro AddOn T10 instead of C10. To say I am fucked off is an understatement. To think I was so pleased at the cheap price I paid. Now I feel like I have wasted €200. Bollocks.

Day 87: Finished Alex Rider last night. Another series that started off so well and ended a litte weak but, overall, not bad. I’ve started keeping strange meal times…lunch very late (4pm) and dinner really late (11pm). I need to sort it ‘cos it’s playing havoc with my sugar levels. I had a huge hypo while having my second walk today, second day on the trot that’s happened. My late dinner was Chinese chicked curry with a quarter of a scotch bonnet and two birdeye chillies. Delish.

Day 88: I have managed to be bitten yesterday or the day before on one of my walks. There are strange, itchy lumps on my right inner forearm. And I do mean itchy. I trimmed my sideburns today, I was very pissed off with them. My hair looks just a little less shit. I did a shop at Tesco in Corby today. Mainly booze as follows: 20 cans Sam Miguel £18 18 cans Stella £15 20 bottles Bud £10 8 cans Tyskie £9 3 lrg bottles Warsteiner £5 £57 Bargain.

Day 89: Lazy day. One short walk and usual stair climb. Howard and Sue popped round to give me a pressie - bottle of Monkey Shoulder. I’m building up quite a collection of whisky!

Day 90: Dad called and we chatted for an hour or so. I had to apologise for not sending a father’s day card! Dan messaged me and offered to pay for a pizza delivery which I declined.

Football has started again this past week…Prem and Championship only. L1 and L2 season was cut short and Posh missed out on the play-offs by one place. As I type, Everton v Liverpool is on Sky Sports on a Sunday evening - it’s very strange with no crowd. There’s crowd noise being played thorugh the tannoy.

#Diary #Tumblr diary #lockdown #covid19 #lockdownuk

1 note · View note

newstfionline · 4 years

Text

Headlines

World refugee numbers rise (Foreign Policy) A new report by the United Nations refugee agency found that the number of refugees worldwide increased by 9 million in 2019, adding to a total of roughly 80 million people. Only 107,000 refugees were resettled in third countries, with Canada receiving the most with 31,100. The United States received the second highest number with 27,500 resettled in 2019.

Migrant farmworkers die in Canada, and Mexico wants answers (Washington Post) Each summer for the past five years, Aaron has traveled from his home in Mexico to Canada as one of the tens of thousands of temporary foreign workers who seed, tend and harvest the crops that keep the country fed. This year’s journey was unique. Flights were limited. There were temperature screenings and questionnaires before he took off and after he landed. On arriving in British Columbia this month, he was checked into a hotel for a 14-day quarantine. But in this year of the coronavirus, the precautions have not kept all of Canada’s migrant farmworkers safe. At least 600 have contracted covid-19, and at least two, both Mexicans, have died. Mexico, which provides nearly half of Canada’s migrant farmworkers, has become so concerned that officials said this week they’re hitting the “pause button” on plans to send up to 5,000 more to Canada until they’re satisfied the conditions that led to the deaths will be rectified—threatening a labor crunch for Canada’s already squeezed agricultural sector. The pandemic has highlighted Canada’s dependence on the 60,000 temporary foreign workers who arrive each year from countries such as Mexico and Jamaica as part of a federal government program, and without whom hundreds of thousands of tons of blueberries, asparagus stalks and grapes would wither on the vine.

DACA lives on (NYT) When this country started hearing a decade ago about Dreamers—people who came to the United States as small children without legal permission—many of them were in their teens or early 20s. These Dreamers are now full adults, with careers and families, and many have spent years anxiously wondering whether they would be thrown out of the only country they’ve really known. Yesterday’s Supreme Court ruling, which barred President Trump from deporting the Dreamers anytime soon, came as a tremendous relief to them. “It feels amazing,” Vanessa Pumar, 31, an immigration lawyer who came from Venezuela at age 11, said. “I have been holding my breath. It feels like I can finally breathe.” Roberto G. Gonzales, a Harvard professor who has been studying DACA since it went into effect in 2012, calls it “the most successful immigration policy in recent decades.” Gonzales explains: “Within a year, DACA beneficiaries were already taking giant steps. They found new jobs. They increased their earnings. They acquired driver’s licenses. And they began to build credit through opening bank accounts and obtaining credit cards.”

AP-NORC poll: Majority of Americans support police protests (AP) Ahead of the Juneteenth holiday weekend’s demonstrations against systemic racism and police brutality, a majority of Americans say they approve of recent protests around the country. Many think they’ll bring positive change. And despite the headline-making standoffs between law enforcement and protesters in cities nationwide, the poll from The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research also finds a majority of Americans think law enforcement officers have generally responded to the protests appropriately. Somewhat fewer say the officers used excessive force. The findings follow weeks of peaceful protests and unrest in response to the death of George Floyd, a black man who died pleading for air on May 25 after a white Minneapolis police officer held his knee on Floyd’s neck for nearly eight minutes. A dramatic change in public opinion on race and policing has followed, with more Americans today than five years ago calling police violence a very serious problem that unequally targets black Americans.

Atlanta police call out sick over charges in fatal shooting (AP) Atlanta police officers called out sick to protest the filing of murder charges against an officer who shot a man in the back, while the interim chief acknowledged members of the force feel abandoned amid protests demanding massive changes to policing. Interim Chief Rodney Bryant told The Associated Press in an interview that the sick calls began Wednesday night and continued Thursday, but said the department had sufficient staff to protect the city. It’s not clear how many officers called out. “Some are angry. Some are fearful. Some are confused on what we do in this space. Some may feel abandoned,” Bryant said of the officers. “But we are there to assure them that we will continue to move forward and get through this.”

Beware the trampoline (NYT) Sales of outdoor equipment has surged as families try to keep their children entertained while on lockdown. But that has led to a spike in injuries from bikes, scooters, and especially trampolines. Some E.R. doctors have begun referring to trampolines as “orthopedic fracture machines.” Many injuries occur when multiple children, especially a mix of older and younger ones, are jumping on a trampoline at the same time. That’s what happened to the daughter of our colleague Adam Pasick, who broke her tibia on a trampoline on Wednesday. Stay safe out there, kids!

Missing in Mexico (Foreign Policy) Families of people thought to have gone missing amid Mexico’s drug war surrounded a motorcade carrying President Andrés Manuel López Obrador in the state of Veracruz on Monday demanding he do more to bring their loved ones home. Some 61,000 people are estimated to be missing in the country, and relatives fear that austerity measures, which could see a 75 percent budget cut to a government agency that provides funding and support to families of the disappeared, will only make matters worse. While coronavirus-related lockdowns have stalled search efforts, gang violence and disappearances have continued.

France and Turkey spar over ship incident (Foreign Policy) Tensions between France and Turkey rose after French Defense Minister Florence Parly said a Turkish ship refused to identify itself and its mission after an approach by a French vessel on a NATO mission to check on suspected weapons smuggling to Libya. Turkish sailors donned bulletproof vests and took up positions behind light weaponry during the incident, according to Parly. “This act was extremely aggressive and cannot be one of an ally facing another ally who is doing its work under NATO command,” Parly said. Turkey called France’s claims “baseless.” NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg told reporters that NATO is investigating the incident “to bring full clarity into what happened.”

Anger Surges in India Over Deadly Border Brawl With China (NYT) An Indian government minister has called for Chinese restaurants to be closed. Other Indian officials have suddenly put contracts to Chinese companies under review. And crowds of men are now smashing Chinese-made televisions in the street. A wave of anti-Chinese anger is cresting across India as the nation struggles to absorb the loss of 20 Indian soldiers beaten to death this week by Chinese troops in a high-altitude brawl along India’s disputed border with China. And the tensions are hardly easing. Sonam Joldan, a teacher in the Ladakh region near the India-China border, reported on Thursday seeing a line of 100 Indian Army trucks heading toward the front line, wending its way up the Himalayan mountains “like a caravan of ants.”

China charges Canadians with espionage (Foreign Policy) Chinese prosecutors announced today that they have charged two Canadians in Chinese detention with espionage. Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor have been held by Chinese authorities since 2018 in what is seen as a reciprocal move by Beijing after the arrest of Meng Wanzhou, the chief financial officer of Huawei, by Canadian police. Meng is currently under house arrest in Vancouver while fighting a Canadian court battle to halt her extradition to the United States.

Singapore opens gyms, dining out as China outbreak steadies (AP) Singaporeans can wine and dine at restaurants, work out at the gym and socialize with no more than five people at a time as of Friday, when the city-state removed most of its pandemic lockdown restrictions. Getting back to business in Singapore came as China declared a fresh outbreak in Beijing under control after confirming 25 new cases among some 360,000 people tested. That was up by just four from a day earlier. Singapore’s malls, gyms, massage parlors, parks and other public facilities reopened their doors with strict social distancing and other precautions.

Palestinians fear displacement from an annexed Jordan Valley (AP) For generations, the people of Fasayil herded animals on the desert bluffs and palm-shaded lowlands of the Jordan Valley. Today, nearly every man in the Palestinian village works for Jewish settlers in the sprawling modern farms to the north and south. The grazing lands to the west and east, leading down to the banks of the biblical Jordan River, have been swallowed up by the settlements or fenced off by the Israeli military. So instead of leading sheep out to pasture, the men rise before dawn to work in the settlements for around $3 an hour—or they move away. “Everyone here works in the settlements, there’s nothing else,” said Iyad Taamra, a member of the village council who runs a small grocery store. “If you have some money you go somewhere else where there is a future.” Palestinians fear communities across the Jordan Valley will meet a similar fate if Israel proceeds with its plans to annex the territory, which accounts for around a quarter of the occupied West Bank and was once seen as the breadbasket of a future Palestinian state. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has vowed to annex the valley and all of Israel’s far-flung West Bank settlements, in line with President Donald Trump’s Middle East plan, which overwhelmingly favors Israel and has been rejected by the Palestinians. The process could begin as soon as July 1.

Saudi Arabia’s crown prince uses travel restrictions to consolidate power (Washington Post) The formal term in Arabic is mana’a al-safar, or “travel bans.” But the practical effect of Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s policy of restricting journeys abroad by what appear to be thousands of Saudis is to intimidate those he regards as political threats. “This is hostage-taking as a tool of governing,” argued Khalid Aljabri, a Saudi cardiologist who lives in Toronto. Two of his younger siblings, Omar and Sarah, now both in their early 20s, were banned from travel in June 2017 shortly after MBS, as he’s known, became crown prince. MBS wanted leverage against their father, a former Saudi intelligence official named Saad Aljabri, hoping to force him home to face corruption allegations that Khalid says are false. An investigation shows that this practice of restricting foreign travel is much broader than generally recognized and is part of a larger system of organized repression in the kingdom. MBS has used these tools to consolidate power as he moves toward what some U.S. officials believe may be an attempt, perhaps this year, to seize the full powers of government from his ailing father, King Salman. The total number of Saudis who are subject to travel restrictions, according to Saudi and U.S. analysts, probably runs into the thousands. Those who are banned don’t usually know about their status until they go to the airport or try to cross a border post, where they’re stopped and told that exit is forbidden on order of the state security organization, which operates through the royal court. No formal, written explanation is typically given.

Zimbabwe on the brink (Foreign Policy) Three female opposition activists in Zimbabwe have been forced to remain in prison following a bail hearing on Monday as they face charges of fabricating allegations of being abducted, tortured, and humiliated by police. The charges against the women are widely thought to be politically motivated, while the U.N. called on the authorities to “urgently prosecute and punish the perpetrators of this outrageous crime.” The case against the women, one of whom, Joana Mamombe, is a member of Parliament, comes at a tense time in the country as inflation has risen to 785 percent. The price of bread and sugar has surged by 30 percent over the past week, evoking memories of the hyperinflation seen in 2008 that rendered the country’s currency worthless. Economic crisis and rising public anger have led to mounting speculation that a coup could be in the works. The national security council of Zimbabwe dismissed the rumors in a press conference last week, saying they were being fueled by allies of the late Zimbabwean leader Robert Mugabe.

#headlines #news

1 note · View note

redtailhawk19 · 5 years

Text

Diabetes rant

Been awhile since I posted but I'm just really sick of having to pay x amount to live. I need to vent or the urge to off myself will win and i'm not going to let the assholes win. So ignore if you want I just want to vent. My bg is five hundred currently so yeah. I'm just kinda pissed.

Diabetics in America, type 1 and type 2 have to make do by buying insulin from other companies, paying out of pocket prices that can range from 200 to 1500 for a month supply. Relying on Diabetic Facebook support groups where other Diabetics donate extra supplies, copay cards that only work half the time, and fiancal assistance programs that you only qualify if you're in the lowest possible income bracket. This is the fault of Pharmacy benefit managers, insurance companies, the top three pharmaceutical companies, Eli Lily, sanofi and novonordisk that own the patents. Then all three blame each other for the high price, blame the pbms and insurance companies who into blame each other as well. Fun fact Eli Lily came out with a generic insulin. Insulin lispro it's basically humalog. Not that they have been advertising it, the bastards. I've been told at my pharmacy an out of pocket price of humalog is $546 for a month's supply of vials, what's is insulin lispro's out of pocket price for a month's supply? $180 per vial. Had anyone had any luck finding out what it cost the companies to make their analog insulin? I've been looking for that data for 8 years still haven't come across a legitimate source. I heard once from a novonordisk drug rep that Eli Lily makes one vat of insulin for $50 dollars. Lol representative was trying to make the other company look bad but they all do it. So you have insurances that pick which insulins get to be on their formulary. BCBS for example favors humalog. So good luck unless you're allergic to humalog they will deny any prior authorization for another fast acting. My BCBS ins doesn't care that fiasp and novolog work better for me. Now I'm using humalog u 200 which is working for now thank God. Let's now get started on Continuous Glucose monitors, dexcom g6, freestyle libre and guardian sensors.

Having a CGM literally saved my life, I have a 'good insurance plan' I have an 800 dollar deducible, 5000 out of pocket. Met my 800. Dollar ded at the first of the year. Wanna know how? I had to drop $1000 to pay for a 3 month supply of dexcom g6. So I met my deductible so now everything is great? Wrong! I still have to pay %20 coins. So if I want 3 month supply I have to pay $367 dollars of my portion. I don't know about most people but I find it difficult to come up with that sort of lump sum of cash. It's September and I'm only 2000 in on my 5000 out of pocket. Why because I don't go to the doctor unless I have no other choice. I have enough trouble just paying for my diabetic supplies let alone the copays, and remaining balance left over at the end of doc visits. Only doc I see regularly is my Endo. Then BCBS had the gall to keep making me use dme (durable medical equipment) companies that charge a hell of a lot more than pharmacy benefits do. Supposedly bcbs is going to let commerical insurance patients use pharmacy benefits in October so if you have BCBS and use a dexcom CGM have your doc or Endo send prescription to community Walgreens who also has a $120 coupon.

Freestyle libre is at least trying to do something, funnily enough because they market their CGM as a meter and for type two diabetes. Out of pocket price is 75 using e vouch for a month supply, sensors last 14 days, 1 hour warm up time, no alarms but they are working on it. You can use a smart phone and save some money by not getting a reader. Guardian don't know much about but I tried one and sensor died on day one. If the senors work then it does have some advantages. transmitter lasts a year and is rechargable, and you can restart sensor fairly easily.

Pumps Omni pod, tandem and Medtronic.

Gotta Omni pod hands down even though I got a tandem tslim x2 pump. Omni pod is tubeless, Omni pod pods can be potentially pharmacy benefits. So go omnipod also because you can hack the classic pump with the open aes algorithm and get a artifical pancreas because #we aren't waiting. FDA approval takes forever!

Good news on dexcom front, G7 supposedly will come out in end of 2020. It will last fifteen days, 1 hour wait time and transmitter is inside senors so you throw whole unit away. Why is it going to be less expensive? They want to market it towards type 2s.

Did you know you can restart dexcom g6 transmitters and senors. Well you can check out YouTube for fellow Diabetics' instructions. It will save you money and stick it to the assholes trying to monetize diabetes.

It sickens me that Sir Fredrick Banting and his cohorts sold the patent for insulin for a dollar each, total sale being $4 dollars to Ontario college. They sold it so it would be affordable and accessible for everyone.

Back in 1942 Eli Lily and two other companies got in trouble for price fixing insulin. What's the difference between then and now? The government actually did its job and stepped into to stop them.

Everyone who price gouges insulin and Cgms and pumps should be ashamed.

I'm sick of being taken advantage of for an autoimmune disease I don't have a choice in. I'm pissed. I want justice.

I want a healthcare system that won't bankrupt me. I want a system that actually focuses on preventive care and not being for profit. Fun fact our healthcare has not always been for profit. You can thank president Nixon for that.

"Nixon signed into law, the Health Maintenance Organization Act of 1973, in which medical insurance agencies, hospitals, clinics and even doctors, could begin functioning as for-profit business entities instead of the service organizations they were intended to be."

Also fun fact that is when the big top three insulin producers starting raising the prices of insulin and they haven't stopped since.

So the solution to fix our healthcare system is pretty damned simple. Go back to having it be non for profit.

#i want justice #bernie is for affordable insulin #insulin price fraud #class action suit against insulin companies #against the insulin companies #insulin #insulin pump #actually diabetic #t1d #t1diabetic #t1dlookslikeme #t1dm #t1dcommunity #t1dlife #my rants #ranting #im pissed #im done with this #i will fo everything i can to make insulin affordable for everyone if its the last thing i do

21 notes · View notes

aoibaratraveler · 4 years

Text

A Look Back At My Time in Japan Chapter 3!

Double Collage! One for Busan and one for Nagasaki in May!

Heyo! We’re back for chapter three and it’s only been a little over two weeks! Looks like I’m getting the hang of this...maybe?

Second Month on Exchange: May

I last left off with the beginning of my South Korea exploits in the city of Busan. We had met some other travellers, visited some street markets, had lunch with our host and started our trip off rather nicely apart from sleeping on the hardwood floor of our host’s apartment every night….

It looks like we started off May with visiting the beautiful park and cliffs of Dongsam with our host. It was a glorious day with spectacular weather where we walked along the rocky cliffs and coastline for a couple of hours. Our host was a really friendly dude who really wanted to show us a good time when he wasn’t busy with his university classes. Afterward, we headed back to Gwangbok street and met up with the other couch surfers to enjoy more street food and some skincare shopping as well as check out a nearby beach. It was about here though when things started to go a bit south with TC and me. I mean it pretty much started from the beginning of the trip, especially when we met these other travelers but it really started to get to me that night when we went shopping. You see, TC loves herself a bit of attention which I didn’t care so much about. It was the belittling and nasty remarks that I couldn’t stand. She is someone who hates taking responsibility for anything and has no empathy or consideration for others. Throughout the course of that night, she kept making snide remarks about how I’m too cheap and I should be spending as much money as her because in her opinion I was holding back too much. I mean truth be told I was holding back, I was nearing the end of my first two months in Asia and running out of the scholarship money I had received for my trip (it wasn’t that much money but more than enough for at least 2 months), which wasn’t anything too major as I still had my credit card and savings back in Canada but I didn’t want to use them unless I really needed to - especially since I knew that when I returned to Japan I would get my month’s earning from my part-time job at the English school. Besides, I’m not that much of a shopper, even though I do love my Korean skincare. Who doesn’t? It wasn’t just money. She started body-shaming me since I had put on a bit of weight from all the food I was trying and claiming that I should stop and lose the weight in order to fit into Asian clothing better so I could properly shop with her (I refused to go clothing shopping). I mean, I do agree that by that point I wasn’t looking my best but I was trying to enjoy myself and all the digs she was throwing at me was really making me resent taking this trip with her. The atmosphere between the two of use was starting to drop and we were making it a bit awkward for the guys with us. I was trying to be normal but anyone who knows me, when I’m upset or frustrated, knows that I tend to go quiet which is very different to my usual energetic, happy self so it was apparent that something was wrong. I tried to be diplomatic, I really did, but I also felt that she just kept spinning things to make me look bad. I was really embarrassed especially since I was starting to like Z, whom I mentioned earlier, and we were getting along but meh it wasn’t meant to be. The night ended a bit sour and we both decided that we would do our own thing on what we thought was going to be our last day. My trip to Busan was, unfortunately, a bit of a blur after this as things tend to be for me if it is spent with bad company. I can tell you that the next day I decided to go off to the area of Haeundae and spent the day walking around the beach, getting some dinner and bingsoo and just having some self-reflection. I do remember getting a message from Z asking if I wanted to join them (them being him, the other guy, and TC) for a night at a day and night spa but since I was feeling a bit insecure about my appearance and just too embarrassed from the day before, I declined. I finished at Haeundae and decided to head back but didn’t realise that TC hadn’t given me the code for the apartment and she wasn’t planning to come back that night and was spending it with the guys at the spa so I was locked out and nowhere near wifi and had to wait for the host to come back… Yea the Busan trip wasn’t going so well. The first day or two were nice though and I would love to go back but this is just an example of how traveling with some people really brings out their true colours. I had only known TC for a month at this point but still. Unfortunately, a huge storm came that night and lasted until the next morning and our ferry back to Fukuoka was canceled and we were forced to stay in Busan for an extra day. Couldn’t really do anything that day either but when TC got back and the weather got a bit better we just went for a walk in the neighborhood and checked out the nearby convenience store to try some more Korean goodies. Our host ordered dinner for us on our real last night there and I told him that I couldn’t eat any pork so he asked the restaurant to just make it meatless but then, of course, TC was then spiteful for the rest of the night because of this claiming that she “needs her protein…” I’m sorry. I wish I could tell a great story of my Busan trip but unfortunately, TC and I just had very different personalities and thus were probably never meant to travel together. I do honestly highly recommend Busan as a lovely side trip from Fukuoka. Anyway, the day of our departure finally arrived and I couldn’t be more thrilled. When we arrived back in Hakata, it was late at night and our bus back to Nagasaki wasn’t going to arrive until the next morning. I mean we could have paid more for a train or opted to stay in a hotel or something for the night, well TC could have, I was going to be my frugal self and go back to the family restaurant that I had stayed in the first time I arrived in Fukuoka and chill there for the night and get some dinner and even though we weren’t so friendly anymore, TC decided to join me. The next day we boarded our bus back to Nagasaki and parted ways, then, and for the rest of my time in Nagasaki (we remained civil at school though, of course). I spent the rest of that day walking around Suwa shrine to decompress.

The next day was Friday and since it was still Golden Week, I decided to spend the day exploring Peace Park. I should mention that Golden Week in Japan is called as such because a few national holidays happen to occur during that week. The university wasn’t closed the whole week but luckily one of my teachers, an American who was in charge of all the exchange students, allowed me and several others who had plans to travel to just take the whole week off because we “should just enjoy our time and make the most of it”. He was a very relaxed individual. Peace park was a remarkable place, a symbol of hope that is also filled with melancholy. It was established in the early 1950s and is close to the hypocenter of the bomb and remnants of the concrete wall of a cathedral. At the park's north end is the 10-meter-tall Peace Statue created by sculptor Seibo Kitamura of Nagasaki Prefecture.

“A plaque at the nearby hypocenter gives the following account and statistics of the damage caused that day.

At 11:02 A.M., August 9, 1945 an atomic bomb exploded 500 meters above this spot. The black stone monolith marks the hypocenter.

The fierce blast wind, heat rays reaching several thousand degrees and deadly radiation generated by the explosion crushed, burned, and killed everything in sight and reduced this entire area to a barren field of rubble.

About one-third of Nagasaki City was destroyed and 150,000 people killed or injured and it was said at the time that this area would be devoid of vegetation for 75 years. Now, the hypocenter remains as an international peace park and a symbol of the aspiration for world harmony.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nagasaki_Peace_Park

This adds a bit of a sad tone to this blog but I do think it is necessary for people to be educated about what happened. I also think that everyone should at least watch Grave of the Fireflies once to be further educated on the history of this event. I think a lot of foreign tourists go to Nagasaki and Hiroshima while remaining ignorant of the past and just take a lot of pictures to add to their collection or add this site and the nearby museum as something on their tourist checklist but even my local friends are too horrified to go to the museum and be reminded of what happened but do visit peace park often. Junior high school students also make annual trips there to lay a dozen cranes against the statue, another symbol of peace.

Over the next couple of weeks, I began to focus more on university and taking my language studies seriously. I decided to ditch taking the bus every day to and from university and either use an old bike that my homestay family had or walk. The bike ride would take about 45 minutes but the walk would take 2 hours. It was a big difference and I would mostly just walk when the brakes on the bike weren’t working so well, which was a lot of the time (as I said, it was old). I did this partially to save money and partially to get in shape and I honestly loved it. The university may have been far from my homestay but this allowed me to really get well acquainted with the area as well as shed a few pounds. Around mid-May, I checked out Glover Garden and the Dutch area of Nagasaki with one of my Japanese friends whom I had met in Vancouver when she was doing her exchange there. It was a very interesting place and different from the rest of the city. We explored the garden and Glover residence of a Scottish merchant who lived there hundreds of years ago and is the oldest Western-style house in Japan. Later on, we walked around the Hollander Slope which was a preferred settlement area for mainly Dutch foreigners in the mid 19th century. Upon returning home that night, my homestay mother cooked for me a non-pork version of Nagasaki Champon which was delicious.

The next day, I joined my homestay family in supporting my homestay brother at his undokai, or sports day while having a picnic. It was a fun-filled day with lots of excitement and was much like something that I had seen in anime numerous times.

At the end of the month, I went with the rest of the exchange students on a day trip to Huis Ten Bosch which is a slightly overpriced, but still fun, Dutch theme park in Sasebo, Nagasaki. May was pretty much a chill month where I became more acquainted with my surroundings, became closer friends with my classmates; two French girls, CA and LY and an American girl, R as well as my coworker at the English school, B, who was my rock during my time there and whom I considered like an older sister (well apart from the bf who I was messaging every day during my time in Japan and becoming closer friends with. I think having him as a connection that was separate from everything happening in Japan was what really made me feel like I was never alone, I also felt like I could tell him anything so that helped.). Honestly, apart from what I am going to tell you next, it was a not too eventful time in regards to my regular life. Oh and I woke up one day at like 4 am to walk up the hill behind my apartment by myself to watch the sunrise peek behind the mountains and go for a run, it was amazing.

Boy Drama Part One:

So what good study abroad trip in a foreign land where everything is new and exciting is complete without a bit of boy drama here and there? I’m separating this into two parts because it took place around mid/end of April until mid-June and setting this aside from the rest of the story because it really needs its own part and I can’t remember when exactly everything coincided with the rest of my time there. Hold onto your horses folks.

Ok, I know I said that I had a bit of a crush on Z whom I met in Busan but I only met him for a couple of days and it wasn’t anything too serious. Before I went on my trip to Busan and began a few my classes at the university, however, I met E, a 27-year-old Japanese man who also happened to be one of my Japanese language teachers. Don’t worry guys, I was 22, it was fine. Well, that’s what I told myself anyway. To me, at the time, he was super cute and a bit shy and I found that attractive and even though everyone told me that I shouldn’t, I decided to pursue this crush. Very innocently, of course. What do you take me for? I wasn’t expecting anything serious to happen but I wanted to get to know him and see where it would go from there. I tend to be a bit forward when I crush on a guy, I mean, I am after all the one who asked out the bf but the bf turned out to be an amazing guy which I can’t really say the same for E… oops I’m getting ahead of myself! Ok, where was I? Right, I decided to pursue E so I added him on Facebook and began to message him every now and then to get to know him. In the first week or so, I think he could tell that I liked him a bit and so he reminded me that he was my teacher and nothing could happen. I completely agreed. Honest. This story may make me look a little bad but I wasn’t hoping to become his girlfriend at all, I just wanted to get to know him and maybe go for a date since I didn’t know anything about him. So I told him that, I told him that all I wanted was to be friends since there wasn’t that much of an age difference and it didn’t take him long to get over the fact that he was my teacher and start to become very responsive in our chats. We began to become a little flirty with each other in school when no one was looking and I even went as far as to cook him lunch after he had told me what his favourite food was. I was very silly, giddy and just fully embracing my girly side. It was certainly an experience to be doing something that felt like it was straight out of a shoujo manga. Over the course of the first half of May, I could tell that he was really starting to like me back which was interesting….because I was starting to lose interest in him. Ok, chill I’m getting ahead of myself again but I’m looking back on this whole experience with hindsight and really I was just pursuing him so much because everyone told me not to and the more they did that the more I wanted to. I know, very childish. Anyway, I’m pretty sure it was around mid-May when we finally went on a date.

I told him to meet me next to my homestay’s apartment at Suwa shrine and after that, we walked up to Tateyama to sit at a really nice viewing spot (same place I woke up to see the sunrise). I thought this would be a great location where we wouldn’t really be seen by anyone and where we could have some privacy since only the elderly or really young kids ever go near there but it’s mostly empty when it’s not cherry blossom viewing season. We didn’t really need to hide anything because again it was just two people innocently meeting up (I do realize now that it was inappropriate) and there was only a 5 year age gap plus he looked super young. My interest in him sparked back up a bit that day because forbidden fruit and what not and I thought it was fun and exciting to have a secret date with a teacher. Anyway, I can’t remember for how long we sat at the top of Tateyama for but it was at least a few hours and all we did was talk….well I was talking. I filled in a lot of silence because he didn’t really have anything to say, I don’t even know what I talked about but it became apparent that outside of Facebook messenger this guy wasn’t so good with talking to women. He did tell me that it had been ages since he had a girlfriend and he hadn't met with a girl alone in a really long time (a bit of a red flag there...maybe?). Finally, around dinner time, we grabbed some cheap food from a bento place and some yakitori and sat outside to eat it as it became dark. It was kinda nice, I could tell though that he was starting to like me more than I liked him. A little while later we said good night to each other and parted ways and I went back to my apartment. I was satisfied. Honestly, in my head I felt like I was good, I did not need to pursue him any longer and I had experienced my “forbidden fruit”. Nothing happened of course, literally just talking and dinner. I had satisfied my curiosity and I honestly think that after that date is when I completely lost interest in him because I did get to know him a bit. I got to know...and this might sound a bit mean but I got to know that he really wasn’t interesting at all and was actually just a bit starved of attention, which I had given him. Over the next couple of weeks, he would message me and I would reply but I was no longer instigating the messages. He would tell me how much he couldn’t wait for our next date and after a while, his messages started to become really creepy and I stopped replying as much which made him not send as many messages. Anyway, I now need to backtrack a bit for you. So E and I went on our little date around mid-May and then afterward I pretty much put him at the back of my mind, right? Actually, just a little while before is when I met another guy, maybe like a week before? Which is also what was making me lose a bit of interest in E… Welllll a lot of interest. I still went on that date with him just because I wanted to see how things would go and if there was anything actually there and I proved to myself that there wasn’t. (Of course, E did not realize that the date didn’t go that well...but more on that later). Yea, so this new guy, who we’ll call Y. Another Japanese boy and damn was he like Japanese pop star attractive. I’ll start from the beginning. I was hanging out a lot with my coworkers by this point and one day we decided to meet up at Starbucks (one of three in Nagasaki city, it’s a small city and Starbucks was THE place to meet up) which is where I thought I would study and they would complete some marking and whatnot. After a while, my friend and coworker, B had to go and I was left with the receptionist...who was a little crazy but we’ll get to her some other time. Anyway, what happened next was very simple. This barista was spending a lot of time near our table cleaning up and at first, I didn’t notice until the receptionist (oh right, we’ll call her M) pointed him out to me and damn was I instantly attracted. I chatted him up a bit and I could tell that he was everything that E wasn’t. Very charismatic, boyish good looks, tall and talkative.

So I hung around for a little while longer and then I packed up my stuff, walked up to him at the barista counter and asked if he was to be working the next day and told him I’ll see him then. (honestly looking back on it for some reason when I was living in Japan I just gained all this confidence that I never really had before, I have always been forward with my feelings but never this assertive and flirty and honestly, I kind of had the feeling almost that if I wanted a guy that I could have him, it was probably all the freedom and excitement of living abroad and being away from my parents) Right, so the next day I decided to take my time in going back to Starbucks, I hung out with LY, one of my French friends for most of the day, and studied with her and didn’t did really get to Starbucks until around 6. I rocked up with my books, saw that he was still there and set myself up to look like I was still gonna study. But then suddenly he disappeared from behind the counter, I figured that maybe he had gone on a break but then he reappeared in front of me in his civies. I was a bit taken aback that he was done work but pleased that he came to talk to me. He told me that he had just finished which was really just good timing and then we talked some more. I found out that he was 19 and in his first year of university studying to become an architect. He had to leave after a little while but I told him that we should be friends and that we should exchange LINE IDs (a popular Japanese messaging app, although I think it originated in Korea?). From that day onwards we messaged each other every day and damn was I smitten. He was a great talker and really made me feel special in our chats which I can’t really say the same for E. I never needed to instigate a conversation, he was always the one messaging me and was able to naturally keep the conversation going. The way he spoke to me and made me feel special was kinda like how Neal from White Collar talks to women, especially when he’s trying to con them. He would wish me a good morning and good night everyday, asked how I slept and how I was doing and really just showed that he cared. I began going to his Starbucks a lot more and would stay until he finished his shift and then he would walk me home, he was super gentlemanly. I told him that I like riding my bicycle everywhere so he said he loved riding his bike too and would always cycle to my apartment on his days off and we would walk our bikes side by side, we didn’t actually ride them so we could have a proper conversation. Towards the end of May, we met up one night and walked our bikes and chatted as we usually did but this time we went to a nearby river and sat down. It was all very romantic and what do you know, like out of a friggin romance novel or, again, shoujo manga, a lone firefly flew past and it really set the tone and made the night magical and intimate because it was both of our first times seeing one. We held hands, spoke for a while longer and I felt like I was in high school again and all my romantic fantasies from back then were coming true. I had properly fallen for this guy.

#japantravel #studentexchange #boytrouble #boydrama #busantravel #busan #nagasaki #Japan #studyAbroad #Travelblog #nostalgia #livelovetravel #studyabroadmemories

1 note · View note

imagine-that-one-thing · 5 years

Text

When it rains, it pours.

I march across the damp pavements, my eyes scanning every shadow that could resemble Elise. I’ve never realised how many damn trees there are until now. Every casted, distant shadow, to my bitter disappointment, has been nothing but a strip of trees for decoration. The rain begins to pat my suit jacket, settling delicately with each second that passes by. I'm not surprised that it is beginning to rain, after all, when it rains, it pours— the statement might as well be tattooed on my arm— it appears to be fitting to my life, constantly. I have come to realise my life is similar to a circle, the events seem to be never-ending mishaps of my past and they all seem to end in tragedy. I live a life of misfortune, and the more I strive to claw my way out of it, the more it follows me like the moon. As a child, I would stare out the window late at night; while my mother would think I had fallen asleep and it was finally okay for her to allow her tears to fall while listening to Tom Petty, I would watch the moon follow our car. At such a young age, I couldn’t help but be fascinated by the moon following our car with its ghostly-silver disc structure.

I notice a figure stepping closer to me, their silhouette gracefully walking closer in the dimly lit path. It takes me a moment to realise the woman shuffling closer to me is Elise, “where the hell have you been?” I immediately challenge with a stern tone and piercing eyes. My tone of voice wasn’t meant to come out so strong, but I can’t help myself. It is in my nature to be protective.

It doesn’t take long for me to notice melancholy in her eyes, eyes that usually have a come-hither attraction, but tonight they lack the charm which breaks my heart, “come here, are you hurt?” I lower my voice but she flinches away from me, something that breaks my heart even further, “hey, I’m not going to hurt you, I’m sorry for raising my voice. Let’s get out of the rain,” I instruct tenderly, benevolently leading her undercover.

I slide my jacket off my broad shoulders and swiftly place it over her shoulders, “you scared the fuck out of me, Elle,” I break the silence and she turns to bury herself into me. The minute I feel her resting against me, I know there is nothing more I need to do than wrap my arms around her. And that is exactly what I do; I wrap my arms around her and hold her close.

“I didn’t mean to, I was just trying to help,” Elise mumbles into me before she lifts her head off my chest and her glossy eyes look up at me.

“What do you mean?” I question, unaware of what she’s referring to, how or what she was trying to help.

“We need to go to the hotel,” Elise states as she pulls away from me, “you’ll understand,” is all she says before she steps down the stone steps and into the rain. She turns to look at me, waiting for me to follow her, and for a brief moment, I wonder to myself on what could possibly be wrong; part of me doesn’t want to find out what the problem is. I have enough problems to deal with as it is, I don’t want more. Then again, as I have already stated, when it rains, it pours.

I requested a cab ride to the hotel, much against Elise’s wishes. I wasn’t going to allow her to walk in the cold rain, even if the hotel is just around the block.

What kind of man would I be to let a lady walk in the cold rain on such a night? It may be mid-summer, but it doesn’t mean a lady should walk in the rain.

The cab ride to the hotel was crowded with nothing but my favourite thing… silence. And it destroyed me every minute of the way. I love to be left alone in silence, but I cannot stand when I am stuck in dreaded silence with someone beside me. It makes me feel anxious to be left silent and unaware of what the fuck is going on. I can thank my father for my resentment towards silence when I am not alone. There were innumerable times as a child that I had to remain in silence in the same room as my father. It’s tormenting when you have to stay soundless in a room when you aren’t alone. Countless times I stared at the same vacant wall attempting to pacify my racing thoughts and emotions while my father rocked in the rocking chair with a beer in his left hand and the remote in the right.

I’m not quite sure what it was with him that refused to hear my sister and I. Perhaps it was the whole concept that if he can’t hear us, we don’t have to exist; perhaps he just desired to torment us in an unrelenting way to scar us for life. It worked. I wish I could say his emotional abuse didn’t work on me, but it did, it still haunts me. There are parts that I will never be able to disregard, no matter how hard I try to forget the memories of the past, they won't have mercy on me.

I open the door to my hotel room, and I allow Elise to step inside first, she takes the lead and I follow her down the small entryway before we reach the bed. A king size bed that was left empty when the two of us left for the night.

I stop in my tracks, and I stare at the figure on the bed that is curled up and fast asleep.

I glance towards Elise for answers on why the hell my sister is in New York, and why the hell she is passed out on our bed. I can smell the alcohol that has saturated my sister’s clothes from where I stand. I can only assume she stumbled her way to a bar somewhere and found herself at the bottom of a bottle. I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I’m not; I’m disappointed.

“I don’t understand why you’re so quiet and distant? Or why you look like you’ve been crying.” I glance towards Elise, wanting answers without having to demand them.

“I got a call from your sister's phone, the barman was nice enough to call someone, who happened to be me, to come to get her because she was far from sober. I helped her back here and she finally fell asleep while I was walking back to you,” Elise briefly informs me.

“Why is she here?”

“I don’t know.”

“And why have you been crying?”

Elise’s shoulders lift into a brief shrug, “Harry, I’m just tired and would like to go to bed.”

I profoundly sigh and work my fingers through my hair, “okay,” I nod, my head racing at a hundred miles an hour with so many damn questions that have no damn answers. Like how the fuck my sister managed to afford the cost of a flight from London to New York when she can’t even afford to help me pay off my mother's house debt.

“Fucking hell,” I mutter while I pull my phone from my jacket pocket to check my bank account. I know exactly what my sister has done. She has screwed me over for the next few weeks.

I trusted my sister with access to my debit card in case of emergencies, such as if she or Mum needed some extra groceries and couldn’t afford it. What my card was not intended for was buying flights and alcohol.

My heart sinks at the charges made to my account:

£459 for the flight.

£375 as a bar tab fee.

£75 for a cab.

£125 at The East Pole, an upper east side restaurant.

“Goddamnit,” I frustratedly hiss, taking Elise off guard as she just stares at me from her position. “Where’s my sister’s wallet?”

Elise gestures towards the glass table and I waste no time opening my sister’s handbag and opening her wallet. I am not one to usually go through someone’s personal belongings, especially a lady, but I can no longer trust my sister with my card. I take the card from her wallet and shove the card into my jacket pocket. “Don’t expect me to get any time off of work soon, Boosie over here charged my account for her flights and her damn bar tab, guess mums house won’t be getting fucking paid this week,” I grumble, regretting the day I trusted my sister with my card. I should have known better.

“I’m sorry, Harry.”

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart, I’m just frustrated and pissed,” I calm my voice, beginning to realise that I’m taking my anger out on Elise.

She doesn’t deserve the behaviour, she has done nothing wrong.

“I know,” Elise nods, “I booked her the room next door, I just couldn’t get her in it,” Elise notifies me with her dulcimer sweet voice as her hair gleams against the soft lighting of the room.

I clear my throat and swallow down the bitterness in my throat. I don't like having to admit that I can't afford things, but there is no chance in hell I can afford to pay for a room at this luxurious hotel, it isn't the cheapest damn place. “Love, I can’t afford to pay for her room. I can’t even afford this one, I’m just lucky it’s apart of the business expenses.”

“I have her room covered and paid for, it’s okay,” Elise assures me with her petite smile, but her sweet cherubic smile isn't going to comfort me and put me at ease with everything.

“Elle, it costs over £900 a night here, how the hell can you cover that?” I don't know how she can afford it, she doesn't have a job, at least as far as I know she didn't have a job while she had classes. To be honest, her and I have two diverse lifestyles; I have to work my ass off and Elise is very lucky to have her parents support her financially so she can focus on her degree.

“Well… it’s covered on my travel expenses.”

“Your travel expenses?” I question curiously, unsure of what she means. Maybe I shouldn't ask questions, it isn't really my business to know about her expenses.

“Just know it’s covered, okay?”

“I’ll pay you back as soon as I can," I sigh.

Another thing I have to add to my list of things I need to pay. I can't keep up with everything, it's going to kill me, I swear it is.

Elise shakes her head, “no need, but if you’d like to carry her to her room, that would be appreciated.” Elise motions towards my sister who is dead to the world at the moment.

I glance towards my sister, disappointed in her for what feels like the hundredth time. I am not sure how many times I have had to clean up her mess or had to carry her to her own bed after a night of finding herself at the bottom of different bottles. I love my sister, I do. But I am not sure how much more of this I can deal with. She needs help and I no longer know how to help her. I can't keep cleaning up after her and babying her as my mother does. My sister needs to own up to her problems, she can't just blame our father for everything and for her dreadful ways of dealing with life.

Part of me wishes I could settle her in a cab right now and take her to the closest alcohol treatment program and leave her there, but cornering her won't make things easy, most of the programs are voluntary programs so you can leave at any time with just a signature on a piece of paper. When we get to London, I am going to have to sit her down and give her the resources and allow her to make the decision on what she does. If I force her, she will rebel.

I take the hotel card from Elise for my sister's room before I pick my sister up in my arms and carry her out of my hotel room and to her own. "What am I going to do with you?" I whisper disappointedly with a sigh as my sister is out cold in my arms.

I place my room key on the small table and I slide my suit jacket down my arms before allowing it to overhang on the chair. I look around and find Elise isn’t on the bed or out on the balcony. I peer towards the bathroom and see the door slightly left open as the echo of the water running fills the room. “Hey, Elle do you want to go and—“ I stop my sentence as I stand in the doorway of the bathroom, my eyes catching Elise’s skin that was left perfectly flawless when I last saw it.

In front of me, at this moment, my blood boils at the scene of scratches on her arm and bruises forming on her side. Elise’s eyes grow wide as she notices me staring at her while she stands with her dress covering from her hips down as the top half of the dress hangs down. “I didn’t mean to intrude,” I quickly assure her, suddenly feeling like such a prick for just walking to the bathroom and peering in while she stands in front of the mirror in just a bra and half her dress on. It was just a lapse of judgment, I wasn’t thinking when I walked over here, it felt normal to me. I also figured she was already in the shower. “But what the fuck happened to you? And don’t try and change the subject.”

I’m not sure how I could have missed the scratches on her arm earlier, but then again I was more concerned with knowing she was safe than checking every inch of her body.

“Please don’t be mad, it was an accident.”

“What was?” I ask, grabbing a small cloth and wetting it with warm water.

“Your sister isn’t much of a fan of me,” Elise informs me, and I feel my heart sink as I swallow hard and press my anger to the small cloth in my hand, squeezing the water out harshly.

“My sister did this?” I clear my throat and turn back towards Elise, taking her arm with my hand and gently pressing the warm cloth her scratched arm.

“She didn’t mean any of it. She was just intoxicated, Harry.” Elise defends my sister.

I never thought the day would come where my girlfriend would have to defend my sister for her intoxicated actions. I never thought I’d see the day where my sister resembles my father all too well.

“I’m sorry, Elise. I need you to do me a favour.”

“What is it?”

“One, don’t leave without telling someone where you’re going, you scared the fuck out of me tonight. Two, if anything happens with my sister and she’s drunk, you do not need to deal with her, because this,” I gesture towards Elise’s arm and the small part of her body that has begun to lightly bruise, “is not acceptable. She has no damn right to do this to anybody. She’s lucky it was you and not someone who’ll knock her ass out and teach her a lesson, but when she wakes up in the morning she’ll be getting one hell of a damn lesson from me.” I mutter, far from thrilled with the view I have. I’m mortified at the moment to have a sister.

“Harry, please just let it go. She didn’t mean to hurt me… at least not physically. She wasn’t shy with her words though, I think that was intentional.”

“Elle, I’m so sorry, I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Elise assures me with her typically charming smile that never fails to soften my heart.

Unfortunately, no matter how much she smiles at me and tries to comfort me, I can’t wrap my head around my sister's actions— they remind me too much of my father— and that scares the fuck out of me.

“What was the question you were going to ask me?” Elise changes the subject, reminding me of why I came to the bathroom, to begin with.

“Oh, I was going to ask if you wanted to go to that small coffee shop on the corner, I went there this morning and it reminded me of that one place we went when we first met.”

“Ah, yes, the night we got cake and you worked your charm on me,” Elise nods with a grin, “sure, just let me shower,” Elise adds.

“My charm worked? Huh, you seemed like you didn’t want a bar of me, love,” I chuckle playfully, “if you like, I can run down to the coffee shop and get what you’d like?”

Elise shakes her head, “no, we can go together, it will be nice. Ehhh…” Elise trails off, grinning ear to ear, “I didn’t want a bar of you, but you seemed determined and sweet.”

“Mhm,” I hum, “thought you were worth the chase. Enjoy your shower,” I kiss her cheek before walking out, leaving her to peacefully shower.

The Next Day:

June 22nd, 2015.

I swipe the room key to my sister's room and push open the door, delighted to have the honour of waking my sister up at this ungodly hour. Well, for her it’s ungodly, for me it’s a reality.

I saunter towards the large window that is covered by dark curtains and I waste no time pulling them out to reveal the early morning rays and the brightness of the city this morning.

I turn on my heel and smile the moment my sister flinches and wakes up at the sudden light exposure.

“You have a lot of explaining to do,” I inform my sister the second I see her eyes open and her body move under the sheets of the hotel bed.

She grumbles and huffs as she looks towards me, “it’s too early,” she groans while waving me away with her hand. “Close the curtains,” she demands, shielding her eyes with her arm.

I shake my head, “it’s eight, get your fuckin’ ass up, I have a meeting at ten and we need to talk,” I demand. There’s no time for me to be nice, she doesn’t deserve for me to be nice. She has done one too many things without understanding the damn consequences and I’ll be damned if I allow her to get away with it.

“What stick is up your ass this morning?” My sister mumbles while she sits up and presses her hand to her forehead, “do you have any pain relief? My head is killing me.”

“No,” I shake my head, “you can deal with it, it was self-inflicted.”

“Why are you being such a dickhead?” My sister questions, her eyes burning into me, but they don’t intimate me or give me a reason to adjust my tone.

“This is how this conversation is going to go, you’re going to tell me why the fuck you’re here and why you thought it was okay to charge my card, which I have to pay for. I know you have no damn care in the world but I can’t pay all the expenses, plus what you decide to add.”

My sister rolls her eyes at me, and to an extent, it infuriates me to the point I want to smother her with a damn pillow for a second. “You can afford it, you have this big business job now.”

I take a breath and bite the inside of my cheek for a moment, deciding not to raise my voice or react to her unnecessary comment. “No, I can’t. Not that my finances are any of your bloody business. Why are you here?”

My sister grows quiet for a moment, and by the way her eyes look down at the comforter, I can tell her brain is ticking away with thoughts. “Because I needed my brother, but clearly I made a mistake coming here.”

“You didn’t need me. You needed an excuse to find a bar. You went to a bar instead of coming to me. Now, what’s going on?”

“I tried calling you… you never answered. I just— I felt alone and I wanted my brother and you were too damn far away.”

“I was busy, working. I can’t be at your beckon call. You came here and went straight to a bloody bar,” I respond unsure of how to handle my sister. I can’t shower her with love and tell her it is okay… because this far from okay, but I am not sure if tough love will help the case either. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. “You need to stop the drinking, it’s out of control. You’re out of control. You’re turning into Dad.”

My sister shakes her head at me in clear denial, “you’re overacting.”

“You physically hurt my girlfriend, I’m not overreacting. There’s no telling how many other people you’ve hurt without us knowing.”

“No, I didn’t,” My sister shakes her head, looking at me with shocked eyes. “Did, I? Really?” She softly asks. I can’t tell if she seems remorseful or not; I’m at the point where I don’t really know who the woman is that is in front of me. This isn’t the same sister that would sit with me in the closet when our parents were arguing.

“Yeah, you did. So don’t tell me you’re not turning into Dad. If you don’t stop drinking and help yourself, you’re going to end up just like him, miserable and alone.”

“I need to apologise to her… is it bad? I want to say sorry.”

“She’s asleep at the moment, what you’re going to do is sober up fully, and you’re not going to leave this damn room until I get back.”

“What am I supposed to do for food?”

“My girlfriend, who you manhandled, was kind enough to make sure that room service would be delivered.”

“I’m going to be bored though,” my sister huffs, looking around the four walls that she needs to get used to for the next few hours. Her boredom is not of my concern, maybe she should have stayed back home.

“Tough luck,” I shrug, “I need to get to my damn meeting, try not to fuck up anything while I’m gone.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.”

I shake my head, “no, no you’re not. I’ve heard the sorry speech before.”

“I mean it, Harry.”

“I don’t have time for this… just don’t leave the damn room. Goodbye,” I mutter, turning to walk towards the door and not looking back.

I have heard the sorry speeches so many damn times that I don’t believe any of them, I’ve heard them from my mother and I have heard them from my sister. The truth is, sorry is just a word people throw around to cover up their actions and their shitty behaviour. They use saying sorry as a shield to hide behind when they don’t want to change because saying sorry is easier than truly changing, to begin with.

Later that night.

Tonight is the last night in New York, and as much as I would prefer to be spending it at a nice restaurant or simply in bed getting some much-needed sleep, I am at one last business function, one of the many that I will have to get used to. These business events are going to become a constant reality for me if I can succeed with my own endeavours and business. To my misfortune, I have spent most my night doing everything possible to avoid Elise’s sister, principally because she thinks it is okay to attempt to work her charm on me in order to get her way with her funds. I don’t know why Jamie put me in charge of the damn portfolio, and to be quite honest, I resent him for it at the moment. Elouisa is relentless and fucking bothersome, she thinks the world owes her something, in a sense, she is a spoilt brat who thinks she is entitled.

I stand at the bar, trying to scope the room for who I should talk to next. Jamie hasn’t given me much of a briefing for tonight, in a way, he is dangling me over a swarm of hungry sharks. I can’t lie, the men here seem very intimidating, they’re older than me and have no intentions of trying to do business with someone my age. They look down on me, because who would trust the rookie?

Most of the individuals here are either too snobby to have any sort of conversation with me because I am young and new, or they’re making sly remarks about how my girlfriend is apart of one of the wealthiest families to have businesses. It wasn’t intentional. I didn’t seek out to find Elise, if I had of known that her father was Conrad and her Uncle was Jamie, I probably would have bolted in the other direction. Purely because some of my fears are coming true. People assume I have this job thanks to her, they think I was given a pity hand out. I know I shouldn’t give a damn about what people think, but the business world is aggressive, one wrong move can annihilate me in the business world.

I glance down at the watch on my wrist and let out a breath of relief. I can finally leave. Since I worked overtime in the office, Jamie granted me permission to leave the event tonight early. It was his notion, and quite honestly, I am thrilled about it. I can’t wait to crawl into bed without any worries. I don’t need to fret about my sister, I put her on a flight back home on my late afternoon break, I finished my client reports and overviews, and the meetings today with investors went well. All I have to worry about is catching my flight and starting on my responsibilities when I land. Jamie wants me to move into one of the office spaces in London since I have declined New York and he wants me to fully be apart of his global equity funds project. If the concept succeeds, it could very well set me up perfectly.

I make my way around the groups of socialising men and women, my eyes keeping a look out for Elise, she told me she was stepping out for a moment to get some air, and I’m not quite sure whether to wait around in here for her or to attempt to find her. I decide to go look for her, mainly because I am eager to leave and get some rest. The last few nights have been exhausting mentally and physically.

My search for Elise comes to an end when I belatedly find her in the lobby with her sister. Their voices seem raised and for a moment I contemplate walking back into the venue and leaving the two of them to hash out whatever is going on. And against my better judgement, I don’t walk back inside, instead, I walk closer to Elise without saying a word.

“Maybe if you’d stop spending your money and you’d listen to Dad you wouldn’t be in this predicament trying to access the trust funds.”

“Dads investments screwed me over.”

Elise shakes her head, “you screwed yourself over because you didn’t listen, grow up Elouisa.”

“For once can you be on my side? Do you just side with them to keep your money?”

I’m not surprised this argument is revolving around money, Elouisa is definitely relentless and money hungry, she will do and say whatever she needs to in order to get her way.

“If you can't make the right decisions that’s your damn problem, I’m not helping you with getting your trust fund access just because you want to go off and get married… Stop being greedy, Mum and Dad said they’d pay a set amount.”

“Well, that set amount isn’t enough. Can’t you help me out? Harry?”

“Well, then I guess you better get to working or making better financial decisions. Leave him out of this.” Elise is quick to shut down the idea of me being dragged into the mess that is between the two of them. I don’t want to be in the middle of it, if I am being honest, I probably should have walked back inside, I am starting to regret my decision of going against my thoughts. Damnit.

“I don’t know why I bother with you.”

“I don’t know either, but you need to appreciate what you’re given and pay for what they don’t with your own money. This isn’t a necessity, this is a wedding, you are being greedy.”

“We aren’t all sitting on over £800,000 thanks to Dad guiding you with your investments,” Elouisa blurts out for the three of us and possibly for those around to overhear.

“Shh, keep your voice down,” Elise scolds and for a split second, my eyes grow wide.

Did she just say eight-hundred-thousand? There’s no way.

“Why? Aren’t you proud to have Dad’s help?”

“I didn’t get Dads help, and how much I have is nobody’s business. Fucking leave, you’re just here to start things.” Elise murmurs unhappily, gesturing for her sister to march herself out the doors.

Elise’s sister rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest as a power move to appear more intimidating. “Why don’t you leave? You’re not needed here, you’re just your boyfriend's trophy girl for the night.” Elouisa takes a cheap shot towards Elise and immediately I notice Elise slump her shoulders in defeat.

Surely she doesn’t believe a word that her sister has spoken. She isn’t a trophy of any sort.

I shake my head and respectfully interject the argument, “hey, now, that’s not true,” I begin, keeping my voice low and calm, “she’s not a trophy or an object to me… we’re about to leave, I’ll have a revised file sent to you by midday tomorrow. Come on, sweetheart,” I subtly dismiss the discussion the two were brewing, and I caress my hand into the small of Elise’s back to guide her away. I now see what Elise means when she says they don’t get along very well.

There’s clearly a lot of bad blood between the two of them; I can perceive the jealousy in Eloisa's eyes and the constant demand to belittle people.

I guide Elise towards the gold trim doors and I open the door for her to step out first. Elise doesn’t grant me her usual gentle smile accompanied by a thank you, no. Instead, I’m left with a resentful feeling between the two of us.

“You didn’t need to defend me,” Elise murmurs the second we step outside of the building.

I stop in my tracks and she lets go of my hand, turning to glance at me in a way I’ve never seen her look at me. Usually, she has this luminous glow to her eyes, but right now, they’re dismal and uninviting.

“Are you mad at me for it?” I challenge.

“I can defend myself, Harry. I don’t need you swooping in.” Elise’s words come off with a rigid tone and before I can reply, she continues to keep shuffling away from me.

I benevolently grab her wrist and discreetly pull her back to me, “hey, get used to it, I know you can defend yourself but it’s my damn honour to make sure you don’t have to defend yourself on your own. I’m not going to let people walk all over you, nor am I going to let anyone think you’re just a trophy to me. You’re my girlfriend, it’s my duty to care for you and defend you. Get used to it, Elise.” I inform Elise, not regretful in the slightest for defending Elise. Perhaps it’s my protective side kicking in, but whatever it is, I refuse to let anyone treat Elise like a doormat.

Elise shakes her head, and for once she doesn’t say anything, instead, she moves away from me and steps towards the car. I trail behind her, allowing her to stay just a few steps in front of me so she can have her space.

We’ve never had such an argument, and I’m not sure what I’m meant to do or what she expects. I can only assume this is going to be the start of a learning progress for the two of us when it comes to dealing with each other during disagreements.

Elise slides into the car and I settle beside her, nothing but silence filling the space between us while the driver pulls out onto the road.

The silence kills me, it’s like a suffocating poison filling my senses and taking over my lungs. The silent treatment is something I’ve never done well with, mainly because it’s something I had to go through dealing with as a child.

There was nothing more tormenting than the silence of my father as I was forced to sit inaudibly while he rocked back and forth in his chair with a bottle of beer in his hand. The silent treatment was regularly a punishment, and to most people, it would be a blessing to not be yelled at and to be granted nothing but silence. But the silence would shred me to my core because all I desired was validation, all I wanted was to be noticed, to be heard, but all I got was disregarded and overpowered to deal with the manipulation tactic that has fucked me up.

I abhor silence.

“Elise—“ I begin but to my displeasure, she swiftly cuts me off.

“Drop it, Harry.”

I take a moment to think, mainly because I don’t want to be selfish and demand her to talk when she doesn’t want to. I take a breath and gaze out the window, deciding to swallow down my own feelings and issues to grant her what she wants.

❦ ❦ ❦

After accompanying Elise to the hotel room, I concluded it was best for me to go for a walk to clear my own head, well, to at least attempt to clear my head and come up with an appropriate way to go about the problem or more so, problems that have arisen while in New York.

Much to my displeasure, the walk didn’t do me any justice, it didn’t solve my dilemmas or clear my thoughts, it just made me more anxious. I don’t know how to balance everything right now. I have my sister causing havoc and then I have the business issues on top of Elise’s sister and Elise.

I swipe the hotel card and push on the door when the light turns green. I quietly step in, expecting Elise to be asleep in the bed, but I’m astounded when I see the bed untouched and the balcony doors open. I place my keycard down on the table and walk closer to the doors, “it’s just me,” I immediately assure her before she can become frightened with the sound of me stepping outside. She glances over at me before diverting her eyes to gaze back down at the city below us.

With a heavy sigh, I take a seat across from her, “can we talk?” I question, observing as she has nothing but sorrow laced to her eyes.

“I prefer not.”

“Can we not play the silent game?”

“I really just don’t feel like talking.”

I nod, accepting that she doesn’t want to talk at the moment, I can’t force her to talk if she doesn’t wish to. “Okay, I’ll talk,” I inform her, striving not to sound too much like a prick— that’s not my intentions. “I can’t do the silent treatment, it rocks me to my core to be given nothing but silence for many reasons. We discussed earlier how I need to work on communication, so here it is. I can’t force you to talk to me, but don’t push me away and give me silence in return. When you’re ready to talk to me, I’ll be inside,” I say, standing to my feet and stepping closer to her where I kiss her cheek before moving towards the doors.

“Are you upset with me?” Elise’s voice softly claims and I turn to look at her.

“No. But can you explain why you’re upset with me? I don’t understand.” I request, giving her the option to tell me what the big deal is.

Elise heavily sighs and looks away from my gaze, “Because my sister is right.”

“How?”

“These events, Harry, they’re going to become a constant thing, they’re perfect for meeting new clients and whatever but they’re also excellent for women becoming the trophy on a man’s arm. The women have to dress up in gowns and look flawless, I see it all the time.” Elise begins to explain her thoughts, oh how they couldn’t be any more wrong. “Tonight people only wanted to talk to me to find out who I was with, they wanted to know about you, I was just the woman on your arm. I was a trophy girl.”

“No, that’s not true,” I shake my head, “I don’t think of you like that."

"You don't, but the rest of this business world will. That’s how it goes. You not giving me a chance to defend myself and doing it for me, only makes the statements true. My own sister doesn’t take me seriously.” Elise murmurs as she shifts her chair out and walks inside.

I step inside and close the doors behind me, “come here for a second,” I gesture for her to come to me. For a moment, she’s hesitant and ready to question me, but she doesn’t. Instead, she walks closer to me. “I’m not going to let people walk all over you, you have this niceness to you that makes it so easy. I’m sorry I didn’t let you defend yourself, it’s just in my nature to step in. Your sister saying what she said was just a way to get to you, she wanted to agitate you, and she did. She effortlessly manipulated your feelings by belittling you.” … “my point is, you’re not some trophy or any of the bad things she says or what anyone says, for that matter,” I reassure her as I encircle my arms around her and draw her closer to me, “and people didn’t just ask about me tonight. Do you know how many people asked me about you and had so many nice things to say about you?”

“You’re just saying that to boost my confidence,” Elise murmurs into me.

"Nope, you'd be surprised how many people asked me about you, you should give yourself some credit."

"Mhm, whatever you say."

I gently run my fingers through her hair as she stays pressed into my chest, “you know what sounds good? Getting in bed and watching reruns of friends,” I softly announce with a small smile as she lifts her head off my chest.

“It does,” Elise nods, “but we have a flight to catch unless Jamie isn’t finished, then it is just me who has a flight.” I shake my head, “we are finished, flights are still on schedule. The second I land I have to go to the company building.”

“Why? You’ll be jet-lagged.”

“Well, I now have my own office and more responsibilities that I have to manage so I have to get started on that work,” I inform her with a small smile, “we don’t have to leave for the airport for two more hours, how about we relax, hm?”

“Friends and relaxing it is,” Elise nods, wasting no time with leading me to the bed that I have missed since I left it this morning.

But what I have missed more is getting to cuddle up with Elise without having to worry about one hundred different things.

#harry styles imagines #imagine harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurbs #harry styles prompts #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles fic #harry styles one shots #harry styles preferences #ceo harry

101 notes · View notes

nicosroom · 5 years

Text

My Money Snapshot

[Inspired by Corporette]

Location: Ohio, small college town

Age: 29

Occupation: PhD candidate (English)/half-time instructor

Income: $16,000 before deductions

Net worth: $588 (I’m crying)

Current Debt: $12,844

Living situation: Renting with a roommate

Money Philosophy:

I grew up in the “working poor” category. My parents are divorced and my father never contributed much financially. Mom made around $21,000 per year at work and she cleaned houses “under the table” to supplement that. Somehow, we never went hungry, what we ate was relatively fresh and healthy, and she managed to put two of us through Catholic schools for a total of 14 years. I know now that mom is still paying some of those loans and credit card debts and that part of her strategy included not contributing more than the 3% that her employer matched in her 401k. Every time I complain about the financial stress I feel at my salary level, I have to remind myself how comparatively unstressful my financial life is.

I’ve always been poor and I always knew that graduate school/academia is not a lucrative career. I tell myself that if I can make things work at this pay grade, then I’m ready for just about anything. My main strategy is to have a budget, stay in the budget, and save every bit that I can.

Monthly budget

$1000-1100 for the necessities each month. Monthly spending on eating out, entertainment, shopping and other categories varies widely. I also won’t lie... dating someone who makes 4x more money than me helps... I’m fairly frugal on all of these fronts: I buy most of my clothes second hand and I tend to shop seasonally. Spikes in spending occur around the winter holidays when I’m buying gifts and when I am doing traveling. And I also have totally weak, impulsive moments - like the $3 soap sales at Bath & Body works, or that time I spent $110 on bras and underwear on a whim. Anyway:

Rent: $272.50/month

Other living expenses: $130-170/month (electric, internet, phone, renter’s insurance - lower in summer, higher in winter)

Transportation: $332/month (gas, insurance, car payment)

Healthcare: $162/month (health+dental insurance, no vision coverage)

Groceries: $120-150/month ($30/week)

Debt Picture

Student loan: $2000

Car loan: $10,488

I’m a career student & my motto for all the years I’ve been in school has been “follow the money.” I went to college on very hefty scholarships and I only had to take out the $2000 loan to cover housing costs during my first year. For the subsequent three years, I was an RA, so I never had to take loans again. I applied to graduate programs based on the research fit, and when I got my offers, money weighed heavily in the decision. I would have loved to live in Boston as a wee 22-year old, but I wasn’t about to take out loans for a year’s worth of tuition and the living expenses. And to get a PhD while living in Minneapolis, my very favorite city in the US? It would have been such a dream, but for the quite steep difference in stipends and the significant disparity in cost of living compared with Ohio. My only regret on this front is that I haven’t started paying back my tiny student loan. I’ve been able to defer it since I’m in graduate school, which was a great idea when I was a master’s student who didn’t know the first thing about budgeting. But if I had just paid $25/month from the start of grad school the balance would be $0 about the same time I graduate from this PhD program this August. Instead, I’ll be scrambling to pay off the whole balance before my 6 month grace period ends.

The car loan is less than a year old. I finally broke down and bought a new (by which I mean used) car last summer after really pushing it with the car my parents had bought me in high school. Repairing that car put me into credit card debt more than once and I was getting so stressed about it. It was time. I have a very good credit score, so I qualified for a nice loan rate with my credit union, and to get a better rate I got my mom to co-sign my loan. It’s a popular rental fleet model so there were tons of them on the market, but average miles were high - so when I saw one that was two years old with only a years worth of miles on it at $1000 less than the average price for that make, model, and year, I jumped on it. My payments are $231/month on the 5-year plan. Currently, I’m paying that minimum, but I plan to escalate my payments as my income goes up (I’m on the academic job market now, pray for me). I folded this car payment into my existing budget by giving up solo-living and finding a roommate. When I had my own apartment, very spacious with a huge kitchen and tons of windows/natural light, I was paying about $585 for monthly rent. I hate living with people, but I hated the idea of being trapped in this college town without a car even more - one of my other mantras is “you can do anything for a year.”

A note on credit cards: I love them. I’m one of those responsible people that charges everything and pays the balance like clockwork every month. This is the only way to make sure you’re actually taking advantage of the cash back/reward perks! Currently, I’m using Capital One’s Venture card and stockpiling airline miles for travel (it has a 40,000 mile sign-on bonus). If you’re good for it, I also recommend one card with a great balance transfer program. For me, when I get into an emergency situation, it makes me feel like I have options. It’s been about 4 years since I’ve had to use my balance transfer card to cover costs ($1400 in car repairs, summer 2015), but at my level, I can’t afford to not have back up plans.

Savings and Investments

$5,517 Cash

$7,861 Roth IRA + employer mandated retirement account

Retirement: The biggest financial mistake I've made in grad school is that I did not opt into the retirement account offered by the university when I started my M.A. in 2012. When they ask me that “what I wish I had known before I went to grad school” question, this is near the top of the list. I did, eventually, open a Roth IRA and slowly I started to build something. This year, when my graduate funding dried up and they made me a “half-time instructor” the retirement account for public school teachers was mandatory and the contributions are high: 14% of every pay check (annoying, yes, but on the flipside, there is an equally high employer match). While I’m contributing to this, I’ve paused my contributions to the IRA. I’ll roll this money over, either into the IRA or into another state/employer retirement fund when I move on from here.

Personal savings: I strive for a minimum of $100 per month and frequently do a little more, but each month is different and I consider it a win if I break even. Through most of grad school, I’ve taken on “second jobs” to bolster what I can save (and boost my resume). Both jobs have been through the university, so they limit me to five hours a week. When I max them out, this can be an extra $200-250 each month.

I took up a new savings challenge this academic year to build on my “play money” savings account (a high yield savings account which my bank labels a “goal setter” account). The challenge involves tallying the “total savings” printed on my receipts each month (i.e. when the grocery store is like “you saved $6″ because of sales and coupons). So, At the end of the month, I put that running total into my goal setter account. Sometimes the total savings are like $26, but others its as much as $171. It’s an interesting challenge because it encourages me to do tedious things, like scroll through all the digital coupons on the grocery store app; but at the same time, I know that the higher that number is usually coincides with a lot of shopping which encourages some self-regulation.

I initially set my goal at $2500 when I opened the goal setter account in 2014. When I had to dip into the account in April 2018 to pay $930 in car repairs, I finally set plans in motion to buy my car. Since I bought used, I only put 10% down on the car (just over $1200). When I sold my old car for $1000, I put that money right back into the account to start saving for new things...

What I’m saving for now:

travel: to celebrate finally finishing this PhD, I’m hoping to pull off a trip to Europe. Later this year, I’m also turning 30 around the same time that one of my regular professional conferences is meeting in Hawaii. If I can do one or both in the next year, that’d be grand. (As I mentioned, I'm saving up airline miles with my credit card program, too!)

a multicooker: think InstantPot...but more expensive because my dreams all revolve around small appliances that match my stand mixer.

What I do to be frugal...

I’ve been frugal my whole life, but a couple of major habits I’ve formed include:

Meal planning and home cooking (read my guide to meal prep here). The money part of that means planning what I eat around maximizing the ingredients I have to buy. I plan meals that use the same ingredients so I’m not spending on an entire bunch of celery and then throwing out 75% of it. Routinization also helps, so my grocery lists stay about the same week to week and the bill relatively predictable - for example, I eat avocado egg salad almost every day for lunch. I know, avocados are not cheap, but I also believe in spending on the things that nourish you––literally and “spiritually.” Roxane Gay once said that she never bought avocados or blueberries when she was a “poor grad student.” Once she started making money, she realized she would buy them because she could afford them, but she also threw them out all the time because she didn’t plan her meals right to actually eat them. The point is, buy the foods that you like/feel good about and build habits around them. It’s not wasted money. That said, I won’t pay more than $1.25 for an avocado!

Second hand clothes shopping, especially for my business casual (it’s amazing what people donate to the Goodwill, barely worn!)

#money #money snapshot #avocados #debt #savings #gradblr #gradschool #personal finance

31 notes · View notes