angeltiddies

[angeltiddies]

this dough ain't gonna roll itself

[angeltiddies]

this dough ain't gonna roll itself

[angeltiddies]

do you think, before the deal, castiel used to stand outside and close his eyes and tilt his face up to the sun? before the empty said "someday, when the sun shines down on your face, when you are truly happy, that's when i'll come?" do you think dean noticed him staying inside more, after? tried to encourage him to go out and garden? tried to invite him out to fish or walk or have a picnic? do you think dean saw it as a slight? except then, at night, castiel would join him on the hill above the bunker to stargaze, or sit beside him in his recliner in the deancave to binge a show and he'd think "maybe he's okay. maybe we're okay." do you think castiel started warming in the reflection of the sun, in the glow of the moon, because at least he could have that? at least he could have dean, sometimes, in secret, in the dark? a reflection of the light, so muted that it couldn't hurt him?

so it's ironic, then, that he'd be taken away underground, in a windowless room. that the only sources of light would be his own fading grace, the bulb of dean's soul, the sparks of a scythe scraping along the walls. that the sun would be long gone. that it would have been a metaphor.

how curious, to expect an angel to understand, when he understands so little.

#morning rb #:)

[angeltiddies]

Was the lesbian nun case a canon thing or is that just a popular headcanon? I genuinely cannot remember

oh, it was a thing from john's journal, so canon. he 'gifted' the case to dean as his first solo hunt for his 17th bday.

[angeltiddies]

night

[angeltiddies]

detiel

[angeltiddies]

society if people stopped tagging destiel hate in the destiel tag rn!!!!! youre annoying btw!!!!!

[angeltiddies]

4 am guess i should attempt sleep

[angeltiddies]

do you think, before the deal, castiel used to stand outside and close his eyes and tilt his face up to the sun? before the empty said "someday, when the sun shines down on your face, when you are truly happy, that's when i'll come?" do you think dean noticed him staying inside more, after? tried to encourage him to go out and garden? tried to invite him out to fish or walk or have a picnic? do you think dean saw it as a slight? except then, at night, castiel would join him on the hill above the bunker to stargaze, or sit beside him in his recliner in the deancave to binge a show and he'd think "maybe he's okay. maybe we're okay." do you think castiel started warming in the reflection of the sun, in the glow of the moon, because at least he could have that? at least he could have dean, sometimes, in secret, in the dark? a reflection of the light, so muted that it couldn't hurt him?

so it's ironic, then, that he'd be taken away underground, in a windowless room. that the only sources of light would be his own fading grace, the bulb of dean's soul, the sparks of a scythe scraping along the walls. that the sun would be long gone. that it would have been a metaphor.

how curious, to expect an angel to understand, when he understands so little.

#i know i know some ppl hate oblivious to the terms of the deal castiel but have u considered cas becoming like a vampire basically cant let #the sun touch him for fear of being taken #destiel #spn 15x18 #the empty

[angeltiddies]

every time i fall in love with you, it's deja vu, can you feel it too?

[angeltiddies]

hello how were professional interviewers constantly allowed to ask questions about larry stylinson to 1d on national television, but talking about destiel was a banned topic for fans at cons for years 😭

[angeltiddies]

Ohhhh you're boy Robin posting again. Genuinely i have watched that episode multiple times but Robin is 100% a boy in my memory. Completely rewrote the episode to me

i love boy!robin so much he is everything to me HE DESERVED A SPINOFF!!!!

[angeltiddies]

Listen...

I will always be a lil bummed that we didn’t get a bi background for Dean while he was at “Sonny’s Home For Boys.” Like imagine that episode except Dean falls for a boy in his school or at the home and Sonny being super supportive and Dean doing wrestling and building his life there and finally being free to love who he wants.

It’s already an incredibly impactful scene when Dean has to decide if he wants to choose his father and Sammy over his new life. Now, imagine that scene knowing it means Dean going back in the closet. Not just leaving behind a girl and a school and a home, but leaving behind an entire piece of himself. I’m sure he’d tell his Dad about his wrestling conquests and maybe even about some ‘girl’ he met and that would be it. End of discussion.

With a bi back story, we would understand so much more about Dean and how repressed he really is. We would understand why he was always so frustrated with Sam for leaving to make his own life. We would understand exactly what Dean gave up in order to be the hunter he is today. And most of all, we would learn that Dean Winchester would throw away an integral piece of himself, not just his body or his life or something else when times are dire, but live every god damn day with a part missing, live every day in the closet, live every day as a sacrifice of himself, for Sam, for his family, for hunting.

And that is why I will always be a lil bummed Dean didn’t get to date a boy in the ‘Bad Boys’ ep.

[angeltiddies]

call in the morning by the greeting committee // supernatural, episodes 1x18 and 9x07

[angeltiddies]

in my secret good spn dean's date robin (a boy) is waiting outside sonny's for dean and thats when john arrives asking for dean and when dean is getting out of the house with john he spots robin who is looking at him and dean just glances at him for 1 second and turns around to walk towards the car never looking back and robin's heart breaks and john sees this, hence the nun case. this is why there's more tension between them when they meet again.

oh NO Dean making eye contact, Robin holding flowers or like a fresh Zepp vinyl, dressed up because they decided they were gonna skip the school dance and do it their own way. and Robin perks up when Dean walks outside, he’s been ignoring the car that pulled up a while ago, but he thinks Dean would think it’s a beautiful car and it’s gonna be a great conversation starter. He smiles bright and big and Dean’s looking at him and oh no...Dean’s been crying. Robin reaches out a hand to him but Dean dodges it. Looks at him pointedly, jaw set, eyes too harsh for a 16 year old, and then looks away. Ahead more like it. He walks to the black car, all straight-backed and serious. He ruffles the hair of the kid who’s been playing with planes out of the window. He slides into the front seat. He doesn’t look back.

Robin never hears the seething tone Dean’s dad uses with him after they’ve been on the road for a while. Doesn’t hear Dean saying his “Yes, Sirs” and “No, Sirs.” Doesn’t hear the words Dean never got to say to him. Words he ached to say. He watches the dust settle in the wake of the car like a funeral procession. Feels Sonny’s hand settle on his shoulder and beckon him in, out of the cold. He quirks a smile, listens to Sonny tell ‘im “Dean’s real sorry. Said he didn’t want to go. Said he was lookin’ forward to a future with you.” Robin listens, tries not to let his tears fall. He accepts a mug of hot chocolate and a warm-heavy blanket on his shoulders. He’s left alone in the kitchen after a while. He doesn’t really know if he’ll ever recover, first love ‘n all that, but he’ll try. He’ll set his shoulders just like Dean would do.

That night, he tucks Physical Graffiti in next to the other albums under the communal record player. He goes about life. Graduates. Gets a degree. Gets a job. Plays music on the side. He doesn’t think about Dean, not as often as 16 year old him thought he would. And anyways, it’s probably good he’s not still with him. He’s seen his steely face on wanted posters, on tv screens, that harsh look like it’s been stuck since the night he left. Robin doesn’t think about how he coulda helped Dean go a different route, that he wouldn’t be where he is if he had stayed. And just to ensure he doesn’t think about it, he turns on the radio and drives.

It’s been years now, around 20, Dean thinks, but still, he stops by the barn, finds the letters he and Robin carved into the wood there. Puts his hand against its rough, worn siding. He talks to the kid who’s hiding there, tries not to think about when he and Robin would do the same thing. When he gets back inside the place, it’s a little too quiet. Sam’s talking to some kids in the front and Sonny’s off delegating weekend chores. He looks fondly at the record player, it’s a little dusty but it’s still standing strong. He squats down before it, flicks the albums past one by one deciding what to put on. He hits Zepp’s album. It looks familiar, not in the sense that he’s listened to this record more times than he can count, but familiar as in this exact copy. He can’t shake the feeling so he puts it on. The record player hums a moment, and when the needle softly settles on the vinyl, Dean closes his eyes. This feels like home here, in the warm hearth of a temporary safe place and ‘Custard Pie.’

Chaos erupts some moments later, they investigate, melt the poor kid’s favourite toy, gank the ghost of his mom, and he could’ve sworn it took longer than that, but the album is just starting to pick up on its tenth track. Side three, final track. (Someone must’ve been listening, changing them out.) ‘Ten Years Gone’ sinks into the room, wraps around him.

Dean remembers now. If only a flash. The album had gotten tucked between Robin’s arm and his side when he reached for him to stop. Dean frowns. Listens to the song, all 6 minutes and 33 seconds, doesn’t hear Sam leave the house, listens and sits down to look more carefully at the record sleeve. It’s on the back, but it’s clear as day. “Love you, D. -R.C.” His eyes close, he thumbs over the letters.

also it’s linked in the fic itself but inspo from @joharvele

[angeltiddies]

thinking once again about how powerful robin being a boy in 9x07 would be. dean having to leave behind someone he cares about, a life that he loves, but also a quintessential part of his identity ? showing us exactly how much dean has given up to keep his family safe, sammy specifically ? the impact of a post 9x06 dean trying to hit on a guy he kissed ages ago because he feels like he needs to do something, anything, to fill the emptiness of cas being gone ? sam still not knowing, but the audience knowing and wishing sam knew what we did. begging dean, for once, to explain, to tell the whole story. but dean doesn’t tell the whole story, the episode ends the same, the seasons progress the same, but there’s no doubt, that in those final moments with cas in 15x18, that dean could love cas back...does love cas back, because dean is bi in black and white text, and he’s in love with cas. god. GOD. i should have written 9x07, GOD someone send me back in time to the spn writers room so I can write this.

[angeltiddies]

it’s like— you’re straightening out your tie for your first dance, or maybe you’re gonna skip it and just drive around with him because he’s got a car and a guitar and damn it’s a nice warm night, and then sonny’s coming into your room, probably for some kind of pep talk ‘cause he knows how nervous you’ve been for this, so you turn and you look at him and your heart drops because he isn’t smiling, he’s too calm, you want to ask what’s wrong but the words die on your lips. ‘your old man’s here’ and you’re frozen, you’re scared. the timing is too perfect, too convenient, He must know. you’re looking out the window at the black car idling on the dirt road and you’re scared and you’re debating with yourself and you’re asking what the consequences are going to be, and then you see him, your brother, sweet, wonderful sammy waiting for you to return, and your mind is made up. you don’t let the tears prickling in your eyes fall, you can’t, you suck in a breath and you stand up straight and you say ‘thank you, sir’ and shake your mentor’s hand. he looks at you like you’re broken, but you already know that. you ask him to tell robin you’re sorry, and you grab what little you have and you leave, passing the front porch swing where you kissed a boy. you get into the front seat of the impala and nod at dad and say ‘hey sammy.’ and then you’re driving away. you promise to tuck that piece of you away, dad makes you promise too because somehow he knows. he always knows. sam never knows, and it’s better that way. you don’t think about robin, you don’t. you don’t yearn for rolling around in fields with him or working out in the hot sun alongside him or sitting on an old couch building up callouses as he teaches you to play guitar. you don’t remember how his lips felt against yours. you don’t. you can’t.

you move on.