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tartarusknight · 1 year

Text

King of the Freaks | Part 11

Ao3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Steve was exhausted from swimming… from everything. From the look of panic on Eddie’s face every time he flirted with Steve. It felt like a slap in the face every time Eddie backpedaled. He tried to tell himself that it was because it was not safe to be out and proud. But it never seemed to sink in. So, as he gets to his house and sees the light on, something they always did whenever he was getting there after them. He just sat in his car.

It was going to be the first time in a long time that he’s had a group of friends over. Spending the night… “Fuck,” he whispered to himself. Thinking of the nail bat under his bed. The machete he bought and secured under the couch in the basement. The fire pokers that he brought out of storage even though they never used the fireplace. The gun he got and hid in the kitchen. The hunting knives that are hidden all over the house. Or the ax and metal bat in the trunk of his car. He thinks about waking up screaming and knows it’s a mistake.

But he’s got a game plan. He cleaned and made sure everything was ready for them. He didn’t get a bunch of sleep but it would be worth it.

Then the door to his house swings open and it’s Jeff waving at him. He gives a little wave back and grabs his bag before getting out of the car. “Hey, thought I heard your car,” Jeff grinned and Steve smiled back. This was definitely a mistake but it didn’t mean he didn’t want them here.

“You mean you could hear anything over the noise they make?” He joked and as he got in, the house was loud. It wasn’t the overwhelming quiet that choked Steve but filled with laughter and yelling.

Jeff threw his arm around Steve and Steve tried not to show how much he loved it. “We were taking 15,” he explains and Steve looks to see them around his kitchen.

The door to the pool was right behind them and he was reminded of how much he wanted to board it up, never to be opened again. “Steve!” The other three cheer breaking him out of his thoughts. And it’s weird like they are actually happy to see him. It’s overwhelming and he glances away. He looks at Jeff but it only makes him realize Steve’s shorter than him. By a few inches even.

“Have you ever thought about playing basketball?” Comes out of his mouth before he can even think about it. Jeff’s brows furrow but Steve doesn’t give him a chance to be offended or anything, “Just because you're tall. I mean, taller than me. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed. But you are- uh tall.” Steve chokes out, feeling like an idiot.

Jeff laughs, “I’m more of a watcher than a player.”

“Kinky,” Gareth and Eddie chorus from their spots on Steve’s island.

Steve can’t help but laugh as Jeff says, “fuck off.”

Steve looks these people over and they seem so much more comfortable than they had all those times before. “Alright, alright, well I’m going to go shower. Which isn’t something you can watch,” he winks at Jeff and gets shoved away with a laugh in response. It makes his heart happy like he could be friends with these people. So, he heads up to the shower.

By the time he’s done with his shower, he’s ready to relax. The hot water made his muscles untense and he remembers his game plan. All he has to do is stay on a separate floor from the others and then everything should be fine. That way he hopefully won't wake anyone up by screaming. He’s more sure of himself as he heads into the kitchen. The boys are back downstairs and Steve opens up his fridge to see the different foods he got in preparation.

He sighs and shuts the door, leaning on the counter of the kitchen. Steve doesn’t understand why food has gotten so hard. Why, even when he’s hungry, he can't picture actually being able to eat anything. He hates how everything seems unappealing. Sure, Jeff’s suggestion for leaving meat out of his diet has helped, but it hasn’t fixed everything. He still doesn’t want to eat even when he knows he should. Especially when the swimming couch is telling him that he’s losing steam. Steve doesn’t want to admit that he’s had more dizzy spells because of the lack of food.

He pushes away from the counter and heads downstairs. Everyone’s listening as Eddie paints the picture. It makes Steve want to stay right there and watch until Eddie runs out of words. It makes him think of his Grandpa or Boppa, which is what Steve had called him. Because Boppa would tell all these stories of his late wife that died giving birth or stories of his time at war. He always wrapped Steve in words until Steve felt safe and Eddie does the same thing. He weaves his words into magic for those around him.

Steve blinks and shakes his head. “I’m going to cook up dinner. Are there any preferences?” He forces himself to say. If he tells them, they’ll rely on him and then he’ll have to make something.

They all look over at him with a smile but it’s Eddie who speaks, “whatever sounds good to you. We’ll eat just about anything.” He grins and Steve nods even if he doesn’t quite believe him.

Jeff sits up straighter, like he’s about to stand, “do you want any help?”

Steve chokes back a yes and shakes his head. “I’ve got it, you guys just keep on going.” He waves his hand dismissively and heads back up.

Then he’s back in front of the fridge. He doesn’t even open the door, just stands there wondering. He wants something to jump out at him, he wants to want food but he just doesn’t. “Hey,” Jeff says and Steve jumps from the fridge. “I know you said you didn’t need help but my character is almost dead and needs to rest.” Steve doesn’t know the game; he doesn’t know if it’s a lie. He just nods and lets Jeff open the fridge doors.

“Okay, does anything sound good?” Jeff questions and Steve shakes his head. He doesn’t feel like he needs to lie to Jeff which is a new feeling. He lies often, sometimes he doesn’t even need to lie, it just comes out anyways. “Okay, how about Chili? I know this good recipe for black bean and lentil chili. My sister loves it,” Jeff offers and Steve grimaces. “Or how about grilled sandwiches? I know this one with avocado, tomato, cheese, and spinach.”

Steve’s stomach doesn’t instantly rebel at the idea of it. “Yeah, okay.” He nods and goes to get out what they needed.

It’s quiet for a little while until Jeff hums, “so how was swimming?”

Steve glances over at him, the knife in his hand pausing. “Fine, nothing worth noting,” He shrugs. The last thing he wants to do is bore them with his hobbies. “Um, so, you guys have a band, right?” At Jeff’s nod, Steve continues, “so what kind of instrument do you play?”

“Bass,” Jeff does a little air guitar using the spatula like it’s the neck of the guitar. “You should come to watch us. We practice in Gareth’s garage.” He grins over at Steve and Steve nods easily. Pathetically clinging onto whatever they throw his way.

“Do you play any instruments?” Jeff asks and Steve thinks about his parents having him play the piano, and how he dropped it just to start a fight. How his parents had gotten him to play it before they started leaving him alone for months at a time. Before his dad was sleeping around so much that Steve's mom felt the need to go with him, to keep an eye on her husband. How at first, they had come to watch him. But eventually, they stopped coming. Steve worked hard to get so good that they’d want to come back, but it never helped. So, Steve stopped playing, he wanted the fight… His parents hadn’t even known he had still been playing.

“I noticed the piano in the main room, do you play?” Jeff asked and Steve gave a jerky nod.

He cleared his throat, “I used to. Not anymore,” He goes back to slicing up the tomato. It was quiet for a moment before Steve cleared his throat, “When do you guys prac-” He started to say.

But Jeff started to apologize at the same time. “Sorry if I-” They went back to silence and Jeff cleared his throat, “I’m sorry if it’s something you don’t want to talk about. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Steve finished up the tomatoes, “it’s fine. Uh, no one really knows, I guess. I played for a long- a really long time but-” I was too much of an attention whore to continue. Is what he didn’t say. He just shrugged, “no reason to continue.”

Jeff was quiet for a moment. “Well, I’d love to listen if you wanted to dust off those skills.” He grinned and it looked honest. Steve wanted to hug him he really wanted to hug him but he just smiled.

He cleared his throat and tried to ignore the tears starting to well up. “Um, yeah it sounds like a plan. If I want to play, I’ll tell you.” Jeff’s smile is blinding and it makes Steve slump a little. They put the sandwiches together before heading down and giving them out.

Steve watched Eddie pick at the vegetables but once Eddie noticed Steve’s gaze, he quickly took a bite. Humming like it was the best thing he’s ever had. It made Steve grin and take a bite of his own. Steve was next to Gareth today, somehow always able to be on the couch with the hidden machete. Not that the guys knew it was there, they probably just noticed how often Steve tended to stick to this couch. They were like that, doing small things Steve normally wouldn’t notice if he wasn’t watching them so closely.

After they finished, they started back up the game. Jeff slipped back in easily. Too easy for his reason to leave, to be the truth. But Steve didn’t mind that Jeff had gone up to help him. Steve sat by Gareth, letting the younger boy show him a few things as they played until 9. At 9, he stood and headed up to his room. Grabbing the walkie and waiting for the first one to speak. One by one they checked in. All but Nancy and Jonathan, who weren’t home yet. Steve pushed back the nerves and said good night before heading back down.

The game was still going strong and Steve enjoyed watching. However, he still found himself falling asleep. Blinking in and out as they play around him. Eventually, Gareth shakes him awake from where he’s leaning against the younger boy. “Mm, sorry,” he mumbles and shifts away.

“It’s all good, it’s just- uh, we were wondering where we can sleep.” Gareth is soft but he sounds awkward. Steve nods and gets to his feet.

“Right,” he nods for them to follow him and they head up and up. The house has 3 guest rooms so with his room they’re covered. He passes his parents' room, leaving it closed like always. He opens each door as he passes and lastly opens the door to his room. “You guys can take a room,” he says and gestures at the opened doors.

“That’s your room,” Eddie points out and Steve straightens.

He raises one eyebrow, daring him to fight him on this. “And? Pick a room, gentlemen.” He states and heads back downstairs.

He gets to the kitchen and pours himself a cup of water as he hears them talking above him. If they refused to take his room, he still wouldn’t sleep up there. They needed at least a floor difference. “Steve,” Eddie hops the last few steps and stops in front of him. “We’re not going to sleep in your room.” He states and Steve huffs, swallowing a large gulp of water.

Then stares dead at Eddie, “Well then no one will. I never sleep in there, so I don’t get the problem.” His voice is slipping into the tone he used around Tommy and Carol but he can’t stop it.

Eddie looks at him, truly looks at him, “why?”

Steve doesn’t break eye contact. “Because I always sleep on the couch when my parents aren’t here.”

“Why?”

Steve’s stare is turning more into a glare, he can feel it. But he doesn’t stop it. “Why can’t I? I’m alone in this house, I can sleep where I want. Are you saying that I can’t sleep-”

“Steve, I’m just wondering why you don’t sleep on a bed. I don’t understand why you’d rather sleep on the couches that are really firm.” Eddie says and his tone says calm, patient.

Steve just shakes his head, “please drop it, Eddie.”

Eddie moves forwards like he’s going to hug Steve but he stops himself. “I will… but I really want you to- um, I hope one day we’ll be close enough you’ll tell me.” He says softly and Steve nods setting down his cup. “Do you want company on the couches?”

Steve blinks and Eddie goes beat red but Steve doesn’t let him get worked up. “Nah, I’m just gonna sleep. Why don’t you go take my bed?” Eddie gives a sharp nod and gives Steve’s shoulder a squeeze before he heads back upstairs. “Night, Eds.”

Eddie looks back and smiles softly, “night, Stevie.”

@zerokrox-blog @cyranx @adaed5 @the-redthread @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @failedstarsandgoldenclouds @bisexualdisastersworld @deadlydodos @anythingyouwanttobe @nburkhardtt @bestwifehaver @thehumblefigtree @megzdoodle @swimmingbirdrunningrock @mightbeasleep @bxlthazar @autumnal-dawn @chillichats @nonbinary-eddie-munson @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner @eddie-munson-is-my-wife @a-little-unsteddie @sharingisntkaren @a-huge-nerdy-nerd @0o-queendean-o0 @beckkthewreck @vi-an-te @vampireinthesun @newtstabber @dinosareawesome2137 @spicemallow @hellomynameismoo @luthienstormblessed @briceslayed @angeldreamsoffanfic @dbquills @prideandsensibility @iwouldsail @ponfarrtimeatthevulcannightclub @spectrum-spectre @the-chilly-kat @yearningagain @loopsmd @starlight-archer @sleepy-time @goodolefashionedloverboi @crazyshipper67 @sherrylyn628 @bidisastersworld @v3lnys @n0connections @pyrohonk @cherixxx69 @theotalksalot @tailsfromthecrypt @ledleaf @grimmfitzz

(I can’t tag any more people I’m sorry!!! If you want to stay updated pls follow me or go onto Ao3 and subscribe to the story!)

#Eddie hates veggies but he's willing to eat them for Steve #Jeff is back!!!#We love him #tw disordered eating #Eddie is a simp #pre steddie #season 2 au #steve needs a hug #steve harrington #eddie munson #eddie munson vs veggies #hellfire club #steddie fic #steve x eddie #stranger things #high school au #the fallen king and the king of the freaks

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starlight-starwrites · 4 years

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That was suppose to be on anon so ignore that last one Marcus growing up and I'm high school going to art museums with a shy girl who doesn't talk much and he developed a crush on her

i saw this and said ‘perfect. lets get some soft pining marcus pike up in this bitch’ and then i did. i think. (and trust me im def ignoring you. idk who you are). ((and im not saying that the reason marcus works in the ART department is bec of his first love, but...that’s exactly what i’m saying)).

-marcus still remembers you from time to time, even though its been, what? 25 years since he last saw you? he’s been through one divorce, one rushed and broken engagement. he doesn’t even want to think about the failed girlfriends. yet he still thinks about you.

-he’s always been a romantic, a sensitive kid. he gave the bullies in school as good as he got, but he had a kind soul.

-he blames that very soul for the reason he can’t seem to stop thinking about you.

-you had gone to elementary school together. then middle school. he wasn’t even sure at first, but then, yes, he saw you in high school too.

-the two of you knew each other and were friendly, always saying a passing hello when you saw each other, not afraid to goof around together after school with a few friends. but he never really knew you.

-he guessed your favorite color from your backpack and the shoes you wore almost every day. you knew your favorite band in middle school when it seemed like all your friends could talk about. he knew the park that you would hang out at with your friends because he hung out there too. on the other side. with his friends.

-he always wanted to know more. wished that you wanted to know him too. but he didn’t know how to talk to you.

-you were quiet, though not nearly as sensitive as some people made you out to be. when you were younger, bullies had often gotten bored of you, and instead of being a target, you were usually left behind. you didn’t let it bother you, content with your books and your art and the few friends you actually liked.

-you remember marcus, the brave boy who couldn’t bear to see others being put down. you decided you liked him. he was nice to you, smiled in the hallways. sometimes you liked to think he liked you, but you chalked it off as wishful thinking.

-marcus really wished he could have told you he liked you. but he was awkward, and gangly teenager, and surely someone as pretty and smart like you wouldn’t be impressed. but when you were both in high school, and he...accidentally asked you out, he could have punched himself when he saw how easily you agreed to it.

-you had been in english class, were supposed to be working on a group project when somehow the subject of art had come up. he noticed the way your eyes flashed and a smile tugged at your lips, and next thing he knew he was nudging you into talking about what you thought, and you mentioned one of your favorite artists, and that jogged his memory.

-his mom had gotten some flier in the mail, some discount on museum admission. he remembered because she stuck it to the fridge saying the family should go and he rolled his eyes at the thought of being dragged around an art museum with his sisters and his parents over the weekend.

-but suddenly the thought of walking around a museum didn’t sound so unappealing. before he knew it he was telling you about it, saying maybe ‘we could check it out sometime. it sounds cool.’

-he wanted to hit himself. sounds cool. how dumb was he?

-but then you were smiling, tucking your hair behind your ear and agreeing. he couldn’t believe it. by the end of the day, the two of you already agreed on a day and time to meet. he didn’t want to have to ask his parents for a ride (he didn’t have his license yet but he sure as hell wasn’t driving you and his dad) but then he said ‘bike’ and you had just gotten a new one and it seemed like fate.

-you had thought about hesitating when marcus mentioned going to the museum together but...it was marcus. you’ve technically known each other since you were five. and maybe you really wanted to do something cool like this. was it a date? were you just friends? you didn’t even care at this point, it was progress.

-when marcus makes it home after school, he runs straight to his room, busy with ‘homework.’ he looks up the museum immediately, writes down the names of the displayed artists and looks them up too. he knows you take this stuff seriously, and if he finally has this chance to impress you, he’s not going to waste it.

-late that night when he satisfied he’s got a good background on anything that could come up, he remembers its only wednesday.

-next day in class he makes sure to sit directly next to you, unofficially assigned seats be damned. it’s a little gesture, but it speaks volumes. and when he walks out with you to your next class you think about it for the rest of the day.

-the two of you see each other in class, between classes as the next two days pass. neither of you are counting down the time til saturday afternoon. definitely not.

-when the time arrives, and marcus pulls up on your driveway, he finally feels the nerves. sure, he was nervous before, but it was excitement too. now the settling panic of going up to your house and talking to you was too much. but then he sees you coming from the garage, walking your bike next you and wearing the cutest smile he’s ever seen.

-and a dress. a really nice dress. well, casual enough, but you look nice and he thinks he tries to tell you that but it doesn’t come out right because you’re laughing at him, but then you say he looks nice too, and he feels underdressed now, but you’re already getting on your bike and adjusting your skirt and looking at him with a smile before asking “ready?”

-he has to put a lot of effort into not sounding like a loon. he settles for a smile and a “sure.”

-in retrospect, he should have considered that the place would be packed today. there was a flier that went out to the whole town for goodness sake. and its a saturday. in fairness, the line to enter didn’t take too long, but there certainly were a lot of awkward pauses in conversation that made it feel longer. you had your hands clasped in front of you. he kept his in his pockets.

-the exhibits were fine. he could tell you appreciated them, went up to inspect every single one. sometimes he joined you. sometimes he stepped back and appreciated you.

-he jumped in too, tried to bring up something he had studied. you smiled at him every time, even when he got it wrong. and it didn’t matter, because then you came right back and told him everything, explained it better than he had ever heard it.

-you talked to him and he would never forget it. with each piece, each fact you shared he felt like he knew you better. there was never an awkward silence after that.

-when you finally reached the new exhibit, it was packed. the two of you stood at the entryway for a few minutes, hoping that the crowd would thin. when only more people shoved their way in, you looked ready to give up.

-you offered to move on, take one last loop around before leaving. marcus wouldn’t have any of it. you wanted to see the display, it was a collection of female painters from europe, and he was going to make sure you did. besides, he couldn’t deny he had an ulterior motive.

-he reached over to grab your hand, clasping it tightly in his, before he gave you a boyish grin and dragged you in. he pulled you through the throng of people, making sure you were with him the whole time, getting you up close.

-he stood at your back as you looked, keeping you close and protected. you stood there, a hand still in his, and you didn’t even see the painting. all you could do was think about him. surely this was a date?

-he asks you about the paintings. you tell him the bare minimum and hope it’s okay. he’s been so great the whole day, you never even realized he liked the same things you did.

-you spend another half hour in just the one room, looking over each piece. he tries to share something again, but he got the name of the painter wrong. you correct him, but he doesn’t even care because you’re still holding his hand.

-you keep talking after that day. he comes after school to the art club sometimes, you take a history class together. trips to museums become a more regular thing, and so does going to dinner. he kisses you at your back door, runs away as soon as he knows you’re in safe. he remembers things were good.

-he had decided in middle school he loved you, but he swore he fell even harder that day.

-but he also remembers it doesn’t last. first you move, then he does too. there had been a couple of phone calls, but it just wasn’t the same. he actually considers art school for a time, but between knowing his parents disapproval and his skills as an artist, he takes a different path, and art classes are just his elective. still he wonders if you went.

-even now he remembers you fondly. your ‘no care’ attitude on the outside, yet how deeply you cared on the inside. maybe it’s the idea of a first love that he keeps coming back to, even though he knows he doesn’t know you now. you come up in his mind, unbidden yet still welcome.

-he’s working when he sees you again. he’s been called to the national gallery of art--there’s been suspicions surrounding the transfer of an incoming painting from the louvre--and you’re there. you’re standing there, working, and he doesn’t even know what to think.

-you look as though you’ve barely changed. older sure, and your hair is different, you dress differently too. but he knows the shape of your face, the quirk of your lips. you even stand the same way, that little lean and jut of your hip.

-he doesn’t even realize he’s just standing there smiling at your profile until he hears someone call his name. and that’s when you notice him. you have only known one ‘marcus pike’ in your life, but you are surprised to hear it prefixed by ‘agent’.

-you see his back--broad shoulders in a trim suit, brown hair that is kept neat, but longer than the marcus you knew. he turns finally, and you see the beard. you can’t even be sure. there are some similarities to the boy you knew but...you meet his eyes.

-it’s him. it’s definitely him. you see the museum director still talking to him, but he’s smiling at you. you can’t help but smile back. you really hope he’s listening, because your employer is not very forgiving.

-your attention is taken away soon enough, but as soon as you both have a moment, he striding to you and you turn to him. he says your name like a question, as though he can’t believe its you. you respond with an amused “marcus” and it’s enough for him.

-he goes for a hug, and you happily meet him. then you’re both asking each other so many questions at once, neither of you can get a word in. its all laughs and smiles, and you learn that not is he just an agent, but an fbi agent in the art department. it might be the sexiest job you’ve heard of, right behind archeology.

-you tell him about yourself, how you’ve been in dc for the last 10 years, how you got this dream job restoring the famous works you had so admired. he’s proud of you, he says so. you don’t know how to ask if he has a family. surely he does.

-marcus finds himself looking at your hands all too often, but they’re blocked by the clipboard you hold. it feels so easy to talk to you again, even after all these years. as though you were the sort of friends that couldn’t be separated by time. when he finally catches a glance at your left hand, he feels relief when he doesn’t see a ring. it may not mean too much, but its something.

-he suggests lunch and you agree. you talk about work, the city, your pasts. it feels like putting on an old jacket that still fits. broken in and familiar. for the first time since his move to dc, marcus feels hope. if all the heartbreak he’d endured, all the blood and sweat he put into his job had gotten him nothing but a new, empty apartment maybe he’d still feel like he did. but now he knows you’re in dc, and he can’t help but think it’s fate.

#marcus pike x reader #marcus pike #the mentalist #marcus pike deserves the world #and i really just implied that 'you' have a type and it's based off of indiana jones #bec lets be honest i kinda wanted my job to be 'archeology'#irl archeology is not as sexy im sorry to say #but you are a nerd #ask

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littlespoonevan · 4 years

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Ik you’re probably a busy person but if you ever wrote a fic about gallavich being soft, domestic husbands I think I’d combust

anon said:Can we pretend i didn’t just said that? Gallavich

anon said: "Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?“ for Gallavich please!

asjksdh okay i have been thinking abt this for weeks. this is disgustingly domestic and i’m so sorry but i legit Could Not help myself lol enjoy

Ian bats aimlessly at his alarm clock when it startsringing, curling his arms back around Mickey as soon as he gets it to stop.“S’your turn to make breakfast,” he mutters, words half muffled by Mickey’sshoulder.

Mickey makes a sound somewhere between a groan and agrunt, dragging the covers up tighter around them. “’m supposed to get Frannyup.”

“You did that yesterday,” Ian mumbles, half-heartedlypushing at Mickey’s side only to reel him back in close against him when hemoves an inch.

Mickey grumbles something unintelligible, pullingIan’s arm tight around him like it’s a blanket. “Can’t Carl do it? Earn hisfuckin’ keep here?”

“Carl’s got the early shift this morning,” Ianreplies with a great amount of effort. Fuck he wants to go back to sleep. “He’salready gone.”

Mickey huffs but neither of them make an attempt tomove, the cold January morning seeming far too unappealing when they’re wrappedup so comfortably in each other’s arms. Ian is just on the brink of fallingback to sleep when the tell-tale patter of footsteps make their way into theirroom. Holding back a whimper, Ian lifts his head, squinting over Mickey’sshoulder to where Franny’s standing patiently in front of their bed.

“Franny, who helped you get ready yesterday morning?”he asks.

“Uncle Ian!” she announces proudly, pointing straightat him, and Ian doesn’t need to look down to know Mickey’s grinning smugly evenwith his eyes still closed.

“Have fun making breakfast,” Mickey tells him,finally deigning to get up properly as he sits up and holds his arms out toFranny. “Come on, kid, let’s play naptime before you get dressed.”

Ian lets out a long-suffering sigh, climbing overMickey as he picks Franny up and plonks her on the spot Ian just vacated.“Remember, count to one hundred and then you wake Uncle Mickey up from hisnap,” Mickey tells her, waiting for Franny’s serious nod before he lies backdown, throws Ian one last satisfied smirk and closes his eyes.

Ian flips him off when Franny’s not looking and dragshimself into the bathroom.

Mickey makes his way down the stairs with Frannyfifteen minutes later, both of them fully dressed and presentable, and fightsback a grin at the sight of Ian at the stove. As soon as they enter kitchen hedeposits Franny in her chair at the table next to Liam and ambles over to Ian,hugging him from behind and burying his face between Ian’s shoulder blades.

“You already got like ten extra minutes in bed,” Iancomplains, smacking his hand lightly with the spatula. When Mickey doesn’tdignify that with a response he continues with a soft, “You want eggs?”

“Yes please,” Mickey mumbles, taking a second tomarvel at the fact that this is somehow what counts for normality in his lifenow.

“Liam,” Ian calls. “You want toast with your eggs?”

“Yeah,” Liam says as Mickey hears the scraping of thechair on the linoleum floor. “I’ll get the toaster, your husband seemsincapacitated.”

“Hey, I’m doin’ just fine right here,” Mickey retorts,mouth lifting up in satisfaction at the way Ian leans into him a little more.“But throw on a slice for me too, would ya?”

He doesn’t miss the very deliberate eyeroll Liamthrows him as he passes them but Mickey sees him put an extra slice of bread inthe toaster for him so he decides not to bitch about it.

Ian touches his hand then, looking over his shoulderto get Mickey’s attention. “You able to pick up Franny from Kev and V’s later?”he asks. “I’m not gonna be home ‘til after 6.”

“I got it,” Mickey says, leaning up on his toes to presstheir lips together before Ian can go back to focusing on the eggs.

“Thank you,” Ian murmurs, covering Mickey’s hand withhis own for a minute before he shakes him off to start divvying up the eggsonto plates. “Liam, make sure you got everything for school alright? We’releaving straight after breakfast.”

“Got it,” Liam says, sliding past them with aplateful of toast. And it’s weird, Mickey thinks, how much of a routine they’veestablished in such a short time. Hell, Debbie’s only been for a week or two.But this feels so settled, so comfortable, Mickey can’t really remember whatthey used to do in the mornings before this.

As soon as Ian steps through the door that evening hedrops his gear bag heavily on the floor, just about managing to hang his coaton the hook and toe off his shoes before he’s diving headfirst onto the couchand into Mickey’s lap. He spends approximately ten seconds rearranging himselfuntil he’s curled on his side with his head on Mickey’s lap before he’s contentthat this is how he’s gonna stay for the rest of the night. “Mm, hey.”

Mickey huffs out a laugh, hand travelling to Ian’shead as his fingers run through Ian’s hair. “Hey. Long day?”

“There was a car accident downtown,” Ian sighs,closing his eyes as Mickey’s ministrations ease the tension in his temples.“Three cars and a van. It was messy.”

Mickey hums in sympathy and Ian is so fucking gladhe’s home with him again. “You eat anything?”

“Not since lunch,” Ian yawns.

“Wanna order a pizza for dinner then?”

Ian feels his mouth lift in a smile, blindly reachingup to pat whatever part of Mickey he can reach. “This is why I married you.”

“Just this, huh?” Mickey asks sceptically. “Nothin’to do with you bein’ obsessed with me since you were fifteen?”

Ian rolls onto his back to stare up at Mickey withshrewd eyes. “Pretty sure it was a mutual obsession.”

“In your dreams, firecrotch,” Mickey scoffs but thesoftness in his eyes betrays him. It always does.

Ian loves it.

“Everything go okay with Liam and Franny?”

“Last I checked Liam was doin’ homework and Frannywas colouring,” Mickey says. “They’re in the kitchen.”

Ian nods, finds Mickey’s hand and gives it gratefulsqueeze. With Lip moved out and renovating the new house and Debbie potentiallygetting locked up, Ian honestly doesn’t know what he would’ve done if Mickeyhadn’t been here to help him deal with all of this.

As if knowing he’s being discussed, Liam comes intothe living room, announcing his presence with a snort – no doubt at theirposition on the couch.

“Hey, little man,” Ian greets, holding an arm out togesture Liam over.

He comes, albeit reluctantly since he’s currently atthat age where he’s pretending he’s too old for affection. It just makes Ianwant to hug him harder, make up for all the ways Liam got left to the waysidethe past few months.

He pulls Liam onto the edge of the couch, holding himin place with an arm around his middle. “You have a good day at school?”

“It was fine,” he says, ever an open book.

“How’d the book report go?”

“Crushed it, obviously.”

Ian grins, reaching up with his free hand to ruffleLiam’s hair. “Hell yeah you did. You want pizza for dinner?”

Liam turns to look between him and Mickey, eyebrowsraised suspiciously like they’re bullshitting him. “Always.”

“Get the takeout menu off the fridge and call it in,”Ian tells him. “Pick whatever you want.”

“No fucking anchovies though,” Mickey warns.

Liam waves him off, standing up when Ian releases himand scuttling back into the kitchen.

Ian relaxes back into the couch then, head stillpillowed on Mickey’s thigh as he closes his eyes once again.

“You plannin’ on staying like this all night?” Mickeyasks bemusedly, even as he reaches his hand up to run over Ian’s arm.

“Nah, I’ll sit up to eat my pizza.”

Mickey lets out a laugh, touch making Ian tingle ashe scratches at the base of Ian’s skull. “Whatever. Don’t come cryin’ to mewhen you get a crick in your neck.”

Later on, when they’ve gorged on too much pizza andMickey is slipping pleasantly into a food coma Ian begrudgingly drags himselfaway from Mickey’s side to put Franny to bed. “Come on, munchkin,” he says,swinging her up into his arms and stepping over the toys on the floor to getaround the couch. “Time to brush your teeth.”

Mickey watches him go and feels a fierce kind offondness burn in his stomach. He always thought he was immune to that girlybullshit of finding guys who are good with kids attractive but evidently not.Or maybe he just finds Ian attractive – in every context.

He doesn’t realise he’s being watched until Liamspeaks, making him snap his gaze guiltily away from Ian’s retreating figure upthe stairs.

“Are you and Ian gonna move out?” Liam asks andMickey screws his face up in confusion.

“Why the fu- why would we do that?” he says, clearinghis throat. He’s been trying to swear less in front of the kids. Fat fuckinglot of good it does when Carl curses like a champ. “We got a perfectly goodhouse here.”

Liam shrugs. “Fiona did and now Lip has too. It kindof makes the most sense for you two to move out next since you’re married andall.”

Mickey eyes him for a minute, catches sight of theway Liam’s shoulders hunch slightly under his scrutiny and feels his own oldabandonment issues come to the surface. He’s pretty sure he knows why the kid’sasking. “Nah, man,” he says casually. “Me and Ian are on probation and have nomoney after the wedding. We’re only both just getting back to work – we’re notgoing anywhere for a while.”

Liam nods and he looks way too fucking pensive for aten year old.

“Besides,” Mickey finds himself continuing, feelingawkward and entirely unsure of how to navigate this conversation. He’s stillgetting used to being sincere with people who aren’t Ian. “Even if we did moveout you know your brother’d kill me if we didn’t take you with us.”

And it’s worth it to see the way Liam immediatelyperks up. “Seriously?”

“Hell yeah. Ian’s not gonna leave you alone untilyou’re eighteen. Prepare yourself; you’re gonna be sick of him by then.”

Liam pauses for a moment before saying a quiet, “Thanks,Mickey,” and wearing a genuine smile on his face for once as he pushes himselfout of his chair.

Ian comes back down the stairs as he starts to leavethe room, stalling him with a hand on his shoulder. “You okay, buddy?”

“Yeah,” Liam nods. “Just gonna read for a while beforebed.”

“Nerd,” Ian teases gently, an affectionate smile onhis face that does things to Mickey’s heart. “See you in the morning.”

Ian locks eyes with him as soon as Liam’s gone andMickey really thought he’d be used to the way his insides go all warm when Ianlooks at him like that but apparently not. Ian takes a seat next to him againand Mickey somehow ends up with his legs half draped over Ian’s as he turns toface him. He’d say it’s part of the honeymoon phase but truth is, as soon as hefinally felt comfortable enough to touch Ian however and whenever he wanted hecouldn’t stop. He can’t now either.

“Thank you,” Ian says when they’re settled, one ofhis arms around Mickey’s shoulders while his fingers dance over the exposedskin there. “For helping out, I mean. I know this isn’t exactly how you plannedfor our first few weeks of married life to go.”

Mickey offers him a self-deprecating shrug. “You knowI don’t mind,” he says softly. “Besides, it’s good practice, right?”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth he wants totake them back. Not least of all because Ian is suddenly staring at him withwide eyes, mouth dropped open in shock.

“Okay can we pretend I didn’t just say that?” hestarts but Ian cuts him off with a frantic shake of his head.

“Nope!” he declares, looking way too fuckingdelighted as he grabs hold of Mickey’s wrist. “Did you just say you’re enjoyingdomestic life? With kids?”

Mickey rolls his eyes so hard they almost roll rightout of his head, shoving Ian’s chest. “No, I did not say that. Fuck you.”

“Little bit you did though,” Ian grins, wrestling himuntil he’s pulled Mickey beneath him and is leaning up over him on his elbows.“Mickey Milkovich: house husband. Who would’ve thought?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Mickey grouses but there’s noheat behind the words.

Ian’s expression softens and he leans down untilthere’s hardly an inch of space between them. “For the record,” he murmurs. “Ididn’t think it was possible to be more attracted to you until I saw youcooking dinner with a toddler on your hip.”

Mickey groans, covering his face with his hands tohide the fact he’s about to start blushing hard. “Jesus christ, Ian.”

Ian attempts to pull his hands away and after a smallsigh of defeat, Mickey lets him. “You need to go steal a car or something? Makeyourself feel like a bad boy again?”

Mickey glares at him and tries desperately hard notto smile. It’s not his fault Ian’s goofy-lookin’ grin is so fucking infectious.“I fucking hate you.”

“Hate you too,” Ian beams, closing the distance betweenthem and drawing Mickey into a languid kiss.

And Mickey’s helpless not to kiss back, helplessagainst the way his toes curl when Ian flicks his tongue against his. Twistinghis hands in Ian’s hair, he pulls him down further and holds him place.

Okay, so maybe he doesn’t hate Ian all that much.

#gallavich #ian x mickey #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #shameless #Anon #asks #my fics #meme thing #this got so long oh my god askjdh

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meteora-writes · 4 years

Text

We Could Be Perfect One Last Night ch.4

Fandom: Hannibal Pairing: Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham Warnings: Pain, Talk of Feelings, Angst, Talk of Murder, Talk of Cannibalism Chapter: 4. Please Understand Description: Jack is still being an irritable asshole. Will and Hannibal make a few things clear to one another. Authors Notes: I struggled with the dialogue in this one, so please forgive me if it sounds a little OOC. Read on AO3

~~~~~ Read Ch.1 ~ Ch.2 ~ Ch.3~~~~~

“Dash-cam from the stolen cruiser confirmed that Dolarhyde was the last one moving about the property after Graham and Lecter entered the home. No sign of anyone coming or going from around the house or the surrounding treeline after that. If they didn’t fall into the ocean, they sure as hell didn’t climb back up any part of the bluff around the house and leave on foot,” Zeller informs Jack as he walks into his office. “Which isn’t surprising, given there was no evidence of anyone having done that.” The annoyance in his voice is loud and clear. He’s been over all the evidence they got before the storm hit. There’s no way Will and Hannibal got back up that cliff and left the way they came. They fell into the ocean below the bluff without question. No way around it.

“Then find me where they got out of the water and where they went from there. I refuse to believe they drown after everything we saw.” Jack feels ready to start shouting. The urge to bubbling up inside his chest. He’s spent the morning pouring over evidence. Making phone calls. He even tried to contact Alana Bloom and Dr. Du Maurier to get their insight as well as get them both into protective custody. Neither will return his calls and he’s waiting for the agents he sent to their homes to report in.

“Jack, you need to accept the possibility that they didn’t make it out of the water. It’s the middle of February. It was thirty degrees out at the estimated time they killed Dolarhyde. Even with the average temperature of the ocean being higher than the air temperature this time of year, the amount of time it would take them to swim ashore along with the amount of blood they both clearly lost makes their survival rate slim at best. And that’s assuming they made it to one of the nearby summer homes. None of which show any signs of forced entry,” Zeller argues further. He doesn’t like the idea any more than Jack does. But he doesn’t think he can ever look Will in the eye again if he did survive. Not after seeing how brutally he and Hannibal took down Dolarhyde.

“I am well aware of the lack of evidence, Z, and I do not need a science lesson right now. I am aware of what the temperatures were last night and of their odds of survival. Now kindly return to your lab before I get any angrier,” Jack grits out before grabbing a stack of reports from the corner of his desk to start rifling through.

Zeller looks ready to argue, but closes his mouth and walks out without another word. He does however slam the door behind him.

Jack watches him go before heaving an irritated sigh and rubbing at his forehead. He feels a headache coming on. Likely due to too much caffeine. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee as he tries to pour through everything they have on both Lecter and Graham as well as the field reports as they come. He knows Hannibal well enough to know he’s always got a backup plan of some sort. The trick is connecting the puzzle pieces to find out what it is.

It makes him wish Will was there. Which only serves to anger him further. He should have known better. He let Will’s reluctance and the fact that he had a wife and son now convince him that Will wouldn’t go off with Hannibal. That he had changed and he wouldn’t be drawn to him like he was before.

“Because I wanted to run away with him.”

“Part of me will always want to.”

Jack curses under his breath as he remembers Will’s words from years ago.

A buzzer cuts through his train of thought, drawing his attention to the phone on his desk. With a growl of annoyance, he pressed the button for the intercom. “What is it?”

“Sir, Molly Graham is on the line. She wants to speak to you and she doesn’t sound happy,” the agent on the other line informs him.

“Thank you.” Jack briefly looks up to the ceiling and prays that she has some useful bit of information to help them find Will. He picks up the receiver then and clicks over to line two, which is lit up with a waiting call. “Mrs. Graham.”

“What the hell did you do, Jack! Where is my husband!” Her angry voice cuts through the speaker, making Jack wince. He was hoping whoever broke the news to her would do so in a way that explained everything. Apparently they did not.

With a tired sigh, he rubs at his forehead with his free hand once more and begins to explain what’s happened.

~~~~~

It’s sometime in the early afternoon when Will finally wakes again. Not that he really wants to.

His body still aches. Head throbbing sharply with the beat of his heart. He feels like he’s been cracked open and parts of him are spilling out with every beat. The only thing that helps him through the initial shock of pain is the feeling of what is definitely a warm, solid body pressed against part of his back. His sleep-addled mind connects the dots slowly. He knows where he is. Who he’s with. And he’s just too tired and miserable to be bothered or feel much of anything about that fact aside from relief that he isn’t alone.

Hannibal is asleep behind him. Breathing soft and even. Barely audible thanks to the crackle of the fire and the howl of the wind outside. There’s a distinct patter of freezing rain hitting ice somewhere above. The storm they had outrun having arrived a few hours ago blanketed the area in a layer of fresh snow before it changed to freezing rain.

Lifting his head with a wince and gasp at the way the change in position makes it throb and his vision go black a moment, Will steadies himself and looks out the closest window. It’s a dreary shade of gray out as sleet comes down at a harsh angle thanks to the winds that accompany it.

“You really should lay back down, Will. Overexertion will only make the pain worse,” Hannibal mutters sleepily as he shifts on the mattress behind Will. It’s more obvious now that he’s simply resting on his back behind the younger man, his arm pulled over his own chest in a way that allows Will’s back to press against his side. Giving them both a bit of extra warmth and comfort without making either man feel trapped or particularly awkward.

“I don’t think there is anything I could do right now that wouldn’t make the pain worse,” Will replies softly as he lets his head lower slowly back to his pillow. Even that is painful. So much so that he momentarily wishes he hadn’t woken up so soon.

A soft hum of understanding comes from Hannibal, who isn’t making any move to get up yet now that he’s awake. “Perhaps something to eat would do you good? I could prepare some soup if you like?”

Will can’t help but snort a laugh at that. The thought of Hannibal cooking anything that comes from a can feels like a joke. “I don’t need you to make me soup, Hannibal.”

The bed dips slightly as Hannibal sits up, and it makes Will shift and roll onto his back to look up at the older man. “I know you don’t. I simply offered because I intend to make myself something to eat as well. It’s really no trouble.”

Studying him a moment, Will sighs and lets his eyes slip closed. “Please?” he finds himself asking a bit reluctantly. He would do it himself, but the thought of getting up, along with the pain it will cause his head, is unappealing, to say the least. He hates feeling like this. Useless and weak. It makes him miss his dogs. They always distract and comfort him when he feels this miserable.

Hannibal smiles down at Will, watching him a moment before finally climbing out of bed. The cabin is quite warm now. Thanks in part to his keeping the fire going. He had added another split piece of wood before laying down early that morning and added yet another when he woke to relieve himself a few hours later. It’s been maybe two hours since then and the fire is smaller now, but still burning nicely.

There’s a collection of cast iron cookware hanging on the wall over the small wood-burning stove that sits in the corner. Beside that is an old sink with a well-pump for a faucet, and a set of cupboards that contain a few pots and dishes. More than enough to work with for what they need.

“The last time I prepared a meal from a can like this I was a young man just entering university, if memory serves,” Hannibal muses as he sets a pot on the stove. There’s no sign of a can opener, but he finds an old churchkey in the silverware drawer and grabs that to use.

“Somehow I find it hard to imagine you ever eating anything out of a can that wasn’t in some way extravagant or more expensive than my first car,” Will jokes as he opens his eyes and blinks up at the rafters above him. There’s various kind of gear stored up in them. Old looking wooden snowshoes, and what might be fishing equipment. He’s not entirely sure since he can’t get his eyes to focus well enough to get a good look through the shadows.

With a chuckle, Hannibal glances over to Will before grabbing two cans of chicken soup from the small counter by the stove. He had placed most of their food in there before stuffing the small fridge tucked below full of snow and placing their drinks inside to stay cold. “There are still many things you do not yet know about me, Will.”

“Of that, I am well aware,” Will says with a sigh. He lets his eyes slip closed again as he listens to Hannibal putter around across the room. “So what do you plan to do after this?”

The question makes Hannibal pause in the middle of opening a can. He has to ponder it a moment because while he knows what he would like to do, he also wants to know what it is that Will wants. And how that could possibly work into his own desires. “This being?”

“Recovering, here, with me,” Will clarifies tiredly. “I assume once you’re well enough to travel there are people you intend to pay a visit to before relocating to someplace more comfortable.”

“There are a few people I would like to visit, yes… Would you perhaps have an interest in joining me?” Hannibal asks carefully. He knows it would be a stretch to think Will might help him kill Alana Bloom. Killing her can wait for now. But the others? He isn’t going to leave the country without giving them a final farewell dinner.

“That would depend entirely on whom we would be visiting,” Will counters just as Hannibal had expected. He still has his eyes closed. Body language not changing as he lays with the blanket pushed down a bit so his upper chest and shoulders are visible along with his face. He appears relaxed despite the pain he’s in.

“Bedelia Du Maurier and Jack Crawford,” he supplies as he goes back to his work preparing their meal. He knows Bedelia being someone he intends to kill isn’t a surprise to Will. Jack really shouldn’t be either. But then again he’s left him alive in the past so that does give reason to consider he might leave the man alone.

“Jack?” Will asks, finally opening his eyes to look over at Hannibal. “I thought he wasn’t worth the effort?”

“He wasn’t. Even after the trouble he caused me in Italy, I never considered him much of a threat. And I had no intention of causing him harm unless he got in my way again. But it’s become clear that he will never stop pursuing either of us. And to be totally honest, I find many of his actions, as well as his overall treatment of you, to be quite rude.” He can remember every conversation they had regarding Will over the years. Every time Jack referred to Will as a dog or some tool for furthering his own agenda.

Hannibal takes some credit for guiding Will to who he is today. He’s proud of what the other man has become with his guidance. Of the evolution of his design. He probably wouldn’t bother with Jack if he was on his own now, but it seems Will might be here to stay and the man did spend the better part of three years silently gloating that Will had chosen to forsake the life they could have had together. And Hannibal isn’t going to let that stand.

“Whenever feasible, one should always try to eat the rude,” Will quotes Hannibal with a chuckle. He remembers the night that Hannibal spoke those words to him. The look of amusement on his face as he said them despite being frustrated that Will hadn’t killed Mason Verger and instead flipped the script to set the sick bastard up to try and kill Hannibal instead.

“A sentiment I still hold to this day,” Hannibal agrees with a fond shake of his head.

“I think…” Will begins before carefully pushing himself up to sit. It hurts his head, makes the room spin, and his body sway a bit. But he holds himself steady and breathes through it before he opens his eyes and looks over to a worried Hannibal once he’s fully upright. “I think I would like to see that.”

“I have to ask. When Jack Crawford is dead and this is all over, will you try to go back to your family?” Hannibal keeps his eyes locked with Will’s. Reading his reaction to the question. He had briefly considered finding a more delicate way to ask. But he knows Will prefers him to be honest in his questions. So, he’s being honest.

Will’s face twitches like he doesn’t know if he wants to smile or frown. “They’re not really my family anymore, now are they,” he says in a tone that betrays his mixed emotions on the subject of his wife and step-son. Tears well up in his eyes and he has to break eye contact with Hannibal as he blinks them away. It’s too much right now.

“I‘m sorry, Will…” He knows what it means to Will. Having a family. Especially after the loss of his unborn child and then losing Abigail for a second time right before his eyes. It seems if he’s to be involved with Hannibal in any way, it means losing those he holds dear no matter the circumstances.

“I’m only going to ask you this once. Don’t mention them again,” Will says as calmly as he can with a glance to Hannibal before letting his gaze drift down to his hands. He has them folded in his lap. Eye’s roaming over the scrapes and bruises that start on his knuckles and move up his arms. His mind is spinning. Trying to accept the fact that who he is, who he really truly is, isn’t someone that could ever be with them again. It’s what’s best for them all. He’s suppressed his nature for years. He can’t go back to that after last night.

“Of course. I am sorry, Will. It wasn’t my intention to upset you.” He really hadn’t. He cares a great deal for Will. And seeing him hurting so deeply does affect him. Despite his best attempts not to let it. It makes him long to go back to a time when he could have chosen a different path. Saved Abigail and forgiven Will. Left for a life with them. The longing is fleeting. He knows there’s no going back and there is likely nothing he could do to make the loss of his children up to Will.

“I’m not… I’m not going to leave you, Hannibal. Not unless your feelings towards me have changed,” Will says after a few minutes of silence pass between them. It was hard to find the words. Get them out of his mind and past his tongue.

“My feelings for you are exactly the same as they were the last time I saw you like this,” he settles on the answer as he studies Will. Remembering the night Will woke up tucked carefully into his own bed after Mason Verger tried to have his face removed so he could claim it as his own. “I think the real question you should be asking is have your feelings towards me changed since then?”

Will forces himself to look up and face Hannibal then, fighting back the urge to look away and retreat into himself at the intensity of his gaze. Wade into the stream and catch a few fish rather than confront and admit how he feels. “They have,” he finally says, knowing full well that Hannibal can see what he means from the look in his eyes. He doesn’t need to say anything more. And the smile that spreads across Hannibal’s face has an oddly calming effect on Will. It lets him take a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding back.

“Then there are some things we need to discuss once you are feeling up to it.” The smile doesn’t leave his face, even as he turns back to the simmering pot on the stove.

Will watches Hannibal serve up their meal, wondering what will happen from here. His mind sifting through all his knowledge and past experiences with the other man. Trying to find any tells or signs that his feelings aren’t genuine. He finds none. And it leaves an oddly warm feeling in his chest knowing that Hannibal appears to feel the same way.

Read Chapter 5

#hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal x will #will x hannibal #hannibal lecter x will graham #will graham x hannibal lecter #angst #murder husbands #we could be perfect one last night

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theyearsiturnedintoaghost · 3 years

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These are my thoughts in a long form.

Do people still get excited for stuff as they get older?

Like I literally realized today, while making a rice concoction that I came up with years ago when I was supppppeeerrr broke, stoned, and very hungry with only leftover ordered in white rice sitting in the back of my beige fridge - which while totally disgusting, and embarrassingly unhealthy; I do not care - that I can’t remember the last time I was honestly excited for legit anything.

I mean, sure, I’ve been happy for events that have come up, like peoples weddings, their newborns, a TV show releasing a new season, even a band putting out a new album, but apart from the understanding of a feeling of some kind of form of happiness in my system, I honestly cannot remember the last time I was excited for anything.

Like that kind of excitement that exists in your bones. Where your entire body feels palpable to it. Where it radiates in the pit of your stomach and makes your whole being buzz with an aura of glow-up radiance. Like the feeling of being at the top part of the rollercoaster, right before the weight brings the entire car speeding down the hill and kinetic energy takes over and makes you feel like your in freefall. That kind of excitement feels like it left me in childhood. Like the days you’d get to school and see the Book Fair setting up, the last day of school with a whole summer waiting wide open full of so much possibility, or when I was in the 4th grade and they brought a Planetarium to our school. This inflatable grey blob made basically out of tarps, glue, and an air mattress pump, would come into the school every year and be set up on the stage, all droppy and unappealing just sitting there off to the side of the lunchroom foldout picnic tables, until one day - BOOM - the lesson plan reached the constellation phase and all the Greek Mythology that came with it and suddenly that heap of grey shimmery tarp inflated to this magical bubble of wonder. And for like one whole month your whole world was a new galaxy full of so many stories and dreams littered in starry skies. And since this was something you only did in the 4th grade, it was about the biggest deal in a elementary schoolers life.

And the climb in. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph; that fucking climb in. Which was really a crawl at the slowest of paces because you were school children going at a speed of about .05 mph and one at a time, but only after your about 60-something year old teacher had crawled in and motioned for you specifically to follow when it was your turn, but holy mother of pearl, was that the most exciting thirty seconds of my life up until that moment the first time we were allowed to go into the Planetarium. And then the minute those stars shot across the black inside of the bubble, I really think I fully peaked at that moment.

I think I’ve been chasing the high of that feeling of excitement ever since.

And part of me is slightly worried that I can’t really think of anything in recent years that has made me feel... excitement. Not a date, not a job, not a piece of art.

Well, maybe that last part isn’t fully accurate. I did sort of paint something recently that made me... feel something. But I ‘gave it away.’ And I use quotations around that because I’m unsure if the person who it was made for - who I think it actually belonged to; someone that I had a dream about and painted the dream - ever actually received it. Either way, in the grand scheme of things, I knew the painting didn’t really belong to me. I mean, I was very proud of it - one of the few pieces of art I’ve ever created that I was actually proud of in a way that made me feel... accomplished or something - but just because I made it, I knew I couldn’t keep it. Regardless, I hope the person it was intended for did actually receive it, but I guess I’ll never really fully know.

Either way, maybe that was the last time I felt... some kind of feeling close to excitement. Maybe it was more of a hopefulness for the unknown. I’m unsure. Whatever it was, it was the closet thing I can correlate to the feeling of excitement.

Granted, deep down, I sadly knew it wouldn’t amount to anything, just another thing I created that in the end didn’t really mean anything. I guess that was goodbye to just another fleeting feeling of pretty much anything.

If that person is out there, and ever sees this, I hope it made it to you. With no obligation about what you did with it from there. I just had to throw the Hail Mary.

I think I’m a little worried that I won’t have that feeling of excitement again. Like what if I am a person who never falls in love, or has a baby, or gets my dream job, the promotion you deserve, or even the home you saved so long to buy - or create. What are the small things I keep searching for that will allow me to feel excitement? I’m just... afraid all of the truly exciting things are behind me.

And I don’t want to sound like there is nothing to live for, just nothing that truly excites me. Not in the way that makes me feel potential.

Maybe that’s why I started this? After all the therapy sessions, drunken deep conversations, self introspection, crying in my car alone in parking lots of malls, offices, churches, parks - maybe I just felt like I needed to provide myself some kind of potential for... anything.

Like what if the excitement I had about ‘becoming a writer,’ or whatever other dreams I’ve had in my life, needed to be re-examined and relooked at after all that time. What if it took me this long to think I was capable of even being close to those childhood dreams, or fantasies, because I am far enough removed from them to look at them in an actual insightful way, and not as a fucking dramatic end all be all of who I was during those moments, embarrassed, ashamed that I wasn’t perfect, or on the same path as all the people around me who were accomplishing things, getting promotions, finding love, creating lives, while I was just - slogging through work days in hot kitchens, sticky stained bar counters, random office jobs where I was making no difference to anyone or anything, and just hoping to make it to my days off, have a few laughs with the people I loved, enjoy a mid-grade priced bottle of wine with a roommate, and smoke a bowl or twelve while still trying to figure out where I belonged in all of this complex existence.

Maybe you can’t really live through something and be fair in your judgement of it at the same time. Maybe removing yourself from it - even by about a decade - allows you to actually see it for what it was; part of just the timeline that turned you into whatever you are now.

I guess I’m still unsure what I am. I’m not really... good, or bad. I’m not really super smart - or fully stupid. I’m just me. And even though I know myself, my actual self and not the drug riddled one, or the imaginary dream life living one, or the one people assume me to be, judge me to be, or create in their own mind about me based off of whatever they’ve seen, heard, or think; I do know myself. But I am still learning new things about my own brain, and heart, all of the time. And some of that comes from looking back on the part of me that existed before, the past. It doesn’t mean I want to live in the past again, or that I can’t get beyond the things that happened, but maybe I just never got to fully imprint them into the stories I wished I could have written while I was going through all of it. Maybe I just didn’t know how to be honest and objective about it; not in the way that would make someone care or relate to it.

Maybe I was just afraid that I felt so sad, lost, scared, and like I was always failing at everything I tried; that everything I wanted would always be out of reach, and that I just wasn’t on par with everything everyone else was achieving in their real life - not even so much their online social media portrayal of their lives. I guess I just thought other people wouldn’t understand, or even care, why I felt any of these ways. That one person experiencing anything at all meant nothing to any one else’s journey or story.

Maybe that’s when I really stopped feeling excitement, when I equated excitement, or hopeful possibility, to the end result being disappointment.

I guess I’m trying to work on that.

I’m trying to remember that excitement can happen for the most ordinary things. I’ve just got to remember to be present for those ordinary things to feel it.

Anyway, I guess I’ll have to keep working on it. I hope that means something.

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momorabu · 7 years

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30.09.2017

Ensemble Stars! Event Story - Fight! Yumenosaki Academy Sports Festival 2 / Sports Festival 2

Finally after a year I got started in reading this event story~! Initially I didn’t read it because I’ve yet to unlock Part 1 of the sports festival and thus skipped it when I started translating event stories in 2016, but now that I have all the sports day festival stories unlocked, it’s time to read everything~ ^^

The sports day festival stories currently has a total of 3 parts. This is part 2, which its event was released in 2016~ The last part will be up as soon as I’ve finished reading and writing a post about it ^^ You can read Part 1 which I have posted up recently here~

Anyway as always, the summary of the story can be found below. Translation may not be 100% accurate due to my poor Japanese skills~

Prologue - Chapter 1

Hajime had rushed to the garden terrace as he had thought he was late since he was being held up at class on that day. However, he was surprised to find that no one had arrived yet and wondered perhaps he had went to the wrong place for the tea club meet up. He checked his phone, but there isn’t any mail that informed him that meeting venue had changed. Hajime initially wanted to go and find the others, but he guessed that the others might be late due to their classes as well, and if he had went off to look them, they might ended up missing each other when the others arrived later on. In fact, he was quite nervous in heading towards the third years’ classroom actually, that just imaging it was enough make him break out in cold sweat. In the end, Hajime decided to just stay put and wait for them, since there’s a possibility that Eichi was busy with matters at the student council. (*Note: Hajime was waiting for Ritsu and Eichi, who both belongs to the tea club similar to him.)

Just then, “I” appeared at the terrace cafe, and Hajime invited “me” to sit next to him. He told “me” that he was waiting for Eichi and Ritsu, as they’ll be having their tea club activities for today. Even though it was set that the club activities were to be held on a friday every weekly, there are times where Eichi won’t be feeling and thus there will be changes in the days of their meet up instead. As today was the day where everyone were all free after school, they decided to meet up and have a tea party among themselves.

Even though the summer was now over and the weather seems to be getting cooler again, it was still quite hot in the noon, so Hajime was worried that Eichi might feel unwell. He started to get even more worried as he thought back to how Ritsu was weak against the summer sun as well, and wondered perhaps he should go and check up on the two of them. However, “I” quickly stopped Hajime and passed him a message which “I’ve” gotten from Ritsu earlier on.

“Because I’m a grandpa and can’t run, I’ll be late, so please wait for me leisurely.” (Haha, even Ritsu is admitting he’s old like a grandpa? XD I thought Rei was the only one who would refer to himself as a grandpa ^^;)

Hajime thanked “me” passing the message to “me”, and as a gift for “me” as thanks, he wanted to pour “me” a cup of tea. Even though there’s also sweet treats that can be used for the tea party, they were locked up in the cupboard, and Hajime was afraid that Eichi might get angry if he had took and eaten the pastries that were put in the fridge without permission, so he was apologetic that he could only offer “me” tea for the time being. “I” was alright with just having tea, and thus Hajime headed off to get some tea.

Finally Ritsu arrived at the garden terrace, grumbling that it took him alot of effort and thus he was really tired. He asked Hajime to give him a message on the shoulder, but looking around, he realised that Hajime wasn’t around (since he had went off to the kitchen I suppose), and started grumbling that Hajime was a naughty child as he doesn’t obey the time of the meeting. (Erm... Hajime was already here, until awhile ago... ^^;) Eichi isn’t here either yet, so Ritsu complained that he can’t believe the person who had called for them to gather was late himself.

Ritsu was thirsty after working so hard to walk over here to the garden terrace. He wanted to drink the tea made by Hajime, but since Hajime isn’t here at the moment, he thought that perhaps he could drink “my” blood anyway since “I” was here... (Ritsu... =////=“)

Luckily, Hajime came back with a cup of tea, and thus Ritsu’s attention turned to him instead, asking Hajime to dote on him since it’s rare that Ritsu actually showed up on club activities. Hajime did as what he was requested, commenting that Ritsu was behaving like a spoiled child that he reminds him of his younger siblings. He realised later on that Ritsu was actually his senior so it might be quite rude for Hajime to treat him as someone who is younger than him and quickly apologised to him. Ritsu remarked that Hajime was being too serious, and though he doesn’t like that his older brother (Rei) treating him like a younger brother, he was alright if it was Hajime instead XD He was alright if it was “me” spoling him too, as long as he’s being spoiled on when he’s tired. (How come I feel that as long as it’s not Rei spoiling him, Ritsu was pretty much alright with anyone? O.o”)

Ritsu even ended up putting his head onto Hajime’s shoulder that Hajime almost spilled the tea he had in his hands.

Since “I’m” here with them, Ritsu invited “me” to their tea party, telling “me” not to mind about it. As it was really bright and sunny, Ritsu complained that it’s too sunny and suggested that we moved to a table that was in the shade instead. He complimented that the tea made by Hajime was really delicious, that he sometimes ended drinking too much of it and couldn’t fall asleep at night. Since vampires are active in the night, Ritsu mentioned the tea made him felt even more active and lively when night falls.

Hajime soon returned with another cup of tea (for Ritsu this time since the first time he only got a cup of tea that was for “me”) and Ritsu quickly hugged onto him. Hajime showed a weak smile and told Ritsu that it was dangerous to hug onto him suddenly, and asked Ritsu to drink the iced tea before the ice melts. Ritsu quickly gulped down the entire cup, praising Hajime that he’s really good at making tea that Ritsu would be able to drink countless cups of tea as long as they’re being made by Hajime, and even asked for another cup. He even asked for some sweet treats to go along with the tea, telling Hajime that he could take the cakes in the fridge since they’re made by Ritsu himself.

(So cute how Ritsu was actually really fond of Hajime~ I kind of like how Hajime was being doted on here, or is it the other way round? XD)

Ritsu decided to start the tea party first without Eichi, claiming that it was Eichi’s own fault in the first place since he was late. When Hajime returned with more tea and cakes, Ritsu realised that Hajime himself doesn’t eat the cakes at all and told him to help himself to it since they’re all club members from the same club afterall. He guaranteed that the pastries and cakes made by him were perfect, and that they were delicious to the point that they would make your cheeks drop XD Hajime was unsure, remarking that the cakes look like they would make him get a tummyache if he had eaten them, but since he doesn’t know how they taste like until he had eaten them, Hajime decided to help himself to one. Ritsu wasn’t pleased when he heard that, and thus decided that he shall only share the cakes between him and “me”, asking Hajime to just refill their tea instead. (Aww... Don’t be so bad to Hajime, Ritsu ><”)

Ritsu asked “me” to choose a cake a eat, while he pondered on which to eat for himself. He mentioned that one of the cake which has the theme of a poisonous swamp was especially difficult for him to make, since he had added a secret taste to the cake by adding a specially made spice into the cake mix, and also he had to make the sauce to have a murky colour just like the colour of a swamp. (I personally feel that he doesn’t have to specially take such an effort to make the cake looks that unappealing on purpose ^^;)

Since there was so much cakes on the table, Ritsu grumbled that it might be too much for him and “me” to finish them, and wondered that perhaps he should call Mao to join us too. (Why not you just get Hajime back to eat the cakes ^^”?)

Chapter 2 - 3

Eichi finally arrived at the terrace garden, and the first thing he commented when he saw Ritsu’s cakes were that they look like they’re not suitable for those who are faint hearted (meaning they look disgusting in a way). That pissed Ritsu off as he dissed Eichi that he’s being mean when he’s already late in the first place, asking “me” if “I” had felt the same way as him too that Eichi was bullying him.

Eichi remarked that Ritsu was behaving like a spoiled child again and offered to pat on his head. Ritsu doesn’t like it and rejected Eichi, saying that he doesn’t like to be touched by anyone actually. (But he’s alright in touching others like Haijme though...? =w=“)

Ritsu told Eichi that he won’t let him off so easily even though Eichi had already apologised for being late. (Sounds like he wanted Eichi to get some form of punishment ^^;) Hajime who had returned, overheard the conversation and spoke up for Eichi, saying that he must be late because of matters from the student council. He asked Eichi to sit down and relax, as he went off to get another cup of tea for him. (Hajime seems that he’s busy serving tea the entire time here ^^;)

Eichi initially had something that he wanted to announce, but decided that he shall talk about it later when Hajime returned. Ritsu teased Eichi that perhaps the reason he was late was because he had gotten lost, since the school was pretty large and talked about how one could get lost and couldn’t return ever again... (Don’t make this sound like a ghost story Ritsu~ ><”) However, Eichi just smiled and said that it was something to do with the sports day festival, which Ritsu immediately showed a face of dislke since he was forced to remember some unpleasant memories regarding it. He found it troublesome, and thus asked Eichi whether it’ll be alright if he skipped out of it. Eichi told him that during the sports day festival, there won’t be any dreamfes being held during that period of time, and thus he would not be able to skip out of it using dreamfes as an excuse. The students could participate under the representation of their class, units or clubs, and it was compulsory for not just students from the idol courses to participate, but also students from the other courses as well.

Ritsu guessed that from Eichi had said, it meant that Eichi would also be joining the event. He told Eichi not to force on himself too much, since if Eichi had fallen, he would cause troubles to others... nope... made others feel sad about him. (Ritsu, the first part was actually your true thoughts isn’t it? ^^:) Eichi told him that he would try his best within his capabilities, and won’t force himself too much, and that made Ritsu curious why Eichi wanted to participate in the sports day festival. Eichi just smiled that and answered that he just wanted to enjoy the life of a normal high school student for once.

He warned Ritsu that if Ritsu had wanted to skip out of the sports day festival, he would have no choice but to use his position to force him to participate. Ritsu remarked that Eichi had an evil look on his face, but told him that he might be able to join if the sports day festival was held at night instead, and thus wanted him to use his powers as the “emperor” to change it. However, Eichi sighed and admitted that he doesn’t want to use his “powers” for such a thing, and told him that he’s not the “emperor” anymore. (Even though he still has his powers being the leader of the student council though ^^;)

Seeing that Hajime was back, Eichi told them that he had an important role for them to take on during the sports day festival. Hajime had just heard about the sports day festival, and asked Eichi whether he had planned on participating in the festival even though his health isn’t that great. Eichi answered that even though his health is alright now, he might still ended up feeling unwell all of a sudden. But he wanted to enjoy the spirit of the sports day festival and thus would participate in it, though worst come to worst he might have to lie under the sickbay tent and watched them shine in the races. Ritsu felt that Eichi was being unfair, claiming that he wanted to stay under the tent too and slack off like that XD (I don’t think Eichi would want to stay under the tent purposely unlike you Ritsu XD Even Eichi dissed him back that he thought Ritsu was just being lazy XDD)

Ritsu ended up drinking too much tea that he felt that his stomach is filled full with water. He blamed it on Hajime as his tea was too delicious, asking him to take responsibility for him, which Hajime really took it seriously, claiming that he doesn’t have enough savings to rear Ritsu properly. Eichi told Ritsu off for making Hajime feel troubled, but Eichi himself wanted to rear Hajime instead, asking him if he was interested to be part of his family. (Omg are the two of them sort of fighting over Hajime? XD) The two of them teased Hajime abit too much that he ended up being a bit angry. (But still adorable >////<)

Back on topic regarding why Eichi was late, he mentioned that he had taken up the role of preparing for the support challenge for the sports day festival. However, Eichi was troubled with who to select as the cheerleading leaders for the festival, and asked Hajime and Ritsu whether they had belonged to the red team and white team respectively.

(Hajime seems to be happier of the fact that Subaru was in the red team with him and looking forward to participating in the races together ^^;)

Following the flow of Eichi’s conversation, Ritsu had already guessed that perhaps Eichi had wanted Hajime and him to be the cheerleading leaders for the red team and white team. He asked Eichi whether it was alright for him to decline it or would Eichi used his powers as the student council leader to force him to take up the position. Eichi assured him that the person in power was actually Keito now, so if Ritsu really doesn’t want to be the cheerleading leader, he would ask someone else instead. He told him that this was not an order but a request from him, that he wished that both Ritsu and Hajime would help him this time. Hajime readily agreed to it, to which Ritsu remarked that it would make him seems like a bad guy if he had rejected it, and thus ....he had no choice but to accept it ^^;

However, even when Ritsu had accepted the position, he had no idea what he was supposed to do at the event and asked Eichi about it. Eichi answered him that he just have to sing and dance as per usual, and encourage the team to work hard. It was set that the cheerleading challenge would happen after the morning races, which means that it would be in the noon. Ritsu complained that it would be the hottest at that time, and warned that he might ended up collapsing in the middle of it as it was too hot. As it was not possible for Ritsu to do the cheerleading challenge under the tents that were meant for the visitors, it was a problem for Eichi to solve. He wondered if it’s alright if he put a chair in the middle of the field and made a little roof for Ritsu (or “ground” as they were referring to the center of the race tracks), and asked Ritsu whether he would be able to do it with such an arrangement. In the end, Ritsu agreed in giving it a try, though he mentioned that he won’t be able to sing and dance while standing on a chair, since it would be a bad end if he had slipped and fall from it instead.

Eichi assured them that all they have to do actually was to wear the special outfits for the cheerleaders and wave the poms poms around to generate that atmosphere. Regarding the outfits for the cheerleaders, even though Eichi could get his designers who had made the outfits from Fine, he wanted to request to “me” to make them this time since it was a rare chance after all. (More job for “me”~ Yeah~ Since “I’m” such a workaholic ^^;)

Hajime was curious on which team did “I” belonged to during the sports day festival, and Eichi answered him that since the class “I” belonged to (Class A) was Sagami Sensei’s class, he would be the one deciding which team “I” would belong to in the end. Since both Eichi and Hajime belong to the red team, Eichi wished that ‘”I” would join them in the red team too.

(Poor Ritsu grumbled that he’s being left out, since he was the only one in the white team here ^^; *pats Ritsu*)

Eichi also requested “me” to be their coach for the cheerleading leaders, but Ritsu remarked that he’s alright with anybody being in the coach, since rather than participating in the races, he would rather just sit on the chairs and wave some poms poms. However~ Eichi told him that even though Ritsu had become the cheerleading leader, it doesn’t mean that he get to skip out from participating in races, and told him that the tea club would also be participating in the races too. (So much for Ritsu wanting to slack from sports day festival ^^;)

Chapter 4

At the tennis court, Nazuna yelled at Izumi to concentrate on the tennis practice and do it seriously, since Izumi was just zoning off while holding onto the racket, and even the ball that he had hit back at Nazuna had no strength at all. However, it seems that Izumi does not react to him at all as Nazuna yelled out at him again not to ignore him and to look at him.

Finally Izumi reacted and scolded back at Nazuna that he’s being noisy. He had came for tennis club activities as he had heard that Makoto would be there, but turns out that Makoto wasn’t here at all. He demanded Nazuna to reveal where he was hiding Makoto. (Even though he told him that he won’t be angry... the way he expressed it seems like he’s angry and impatient ><”)

Nazuna was shocked and told Izumi not to shout at him, remarking that because Izumi was behaving like this, that’s why Makoto doesn’t want to show up at the tennis club. Izumi had thought that distance between him and Makoto had gotten closer since the last time (He’s referring to the midsummer night’s dream event), but it seems that Makoto had went back to escaping from him again.

Izumi noticed that Tori wasn’t around either, and commented that it doesn’t look good for even a first year to skip out from club activities. Since Nazuna was the club leader, Izumi asked him to head to the classroom to pick Tori up. Nazuna replied that Tori had informed him that he won’t be coming for club activities as he had practices to attend to in preparation for the sports day festival. Makoto was also not attending the tennis club practice for the same reason. Izumi was glad that it was not because of him that Makoto isn’t here, and blamed Nazuna for making him worried for a second there XD Nauzuna apologised, but warned Izumi that he shouldn’t be too annoying if he doesn’t want to be disliked by Makoto again.

Even though the weather now wasn’t as hot as it was during the summer, Izumi still felt that it was still pretty hot and grumbled about who was the idiot who had thought about organising a sports day festival at this time of the year. Nazuna told Izumi to calm down, and informed him that it was not just Yumenosaki Gakuen, but even other schools would be having their own sports day festival as well around the world. Nazuna had felt that the sports day festival had offered them a chance to interact with students from other courses, but Izumi dissed him that they’re not at the age to get along well with others like little kids anymore. (Izumi totaly sounds like a loner type... just like me though ^^;) He complained that the sports day festival should be open to those who had wanted to participate in the event, since he doesn’t like to sweat.

Even though Nazuna knew that Izumi seems to dislike the sports day festival very much, he had to inform him that unfortunately the tennis club would be participating in the event which means Izumi would have to join too. However, Izumi started to get interested after hearing that the tennis club would be participating, since it would mean that Makoto would be joining in the event as well. Since Nazuna told him that Makoto indeed would be participating in the sports day festival under the tennis club as well, Izumi won’t be rejecting to join in, which Izumi himself realised later on and called Nazuna out on it for being sneaky. (Nazuna had first asked Makoto to participate earlier on, and after getting Makoto’s answer that he’ll be joining, he invited Izumi next, knowing fully well that Izumi would definitely agree to join as long as Makoto is there XD)

However, Izumi worried that Makoto might not want to participate in the same race as him and decided that he’s satisfied in just being in the same team as Makoto for now. He told Nazuna that they would be split up in pairs such as Nazuna would be with Makoto, and Izumi would pair up with Tori instead, since Makoto was in a close relationship with Nazuna. (Aww~ That’s actually really nice of Izumi to arrange Makoto to be someone he would feel alot more comfortable with. ) Nazuna smiled and told Izumi that he doesn’t have to worry so much since Nazuna had already told Makoto to inform him if he had really dislike in pairing up with Izumi. (And I guess so far Makoto doesn’t show that he dislikes being Izumi so... I guess it’s good news? XD)

Over at the practice room, Hajime and Ritsu were in the midst of their cheerleading practice. Hajime wondered what does the cheerleading outfits that they would be wearing at the sports day festival and was looking forward to it~ After knowing that “I” was allocated to the white team, and since Ritsu was in the white team as well, he invited “me” to join in a race with him. Unfortunately “I’ already planned on participating in the three legged race with someone else (Tetora), and thus won’t be able to accept Ritsu’s invitation.

Ritsu grumbled that it was too much on him to get him to participate in the race of borrowing items, obstacle race, tug of war, and even working as the cheerleading leader. He wondered that perhaps he should just stayed at the sick bay and sleep till it’s time for the cheerleading challenge. (Ritsu, you can’t skip out on all of the races ><”)

Since the tea club had decided on participating in the race of borrowing items and throwing balls into the nets, Hajime asked Ritsu whether he would want to exchange with him to participate in the race of throwing balls into the nets instead if he had found the other race too tiring for him. However, Ritsu felt that it would more difficult for him to focus on throwing the balls into the high nets as he would have to look high up into the sun, and decided that he shall stay with the race of borrowing items instead. He hoped that he would get an easy question during that race, and finished this troublesome race quickly even if he doesn’t aimed on getting a first or a second overall. (Ritsu just wanted to get it over and done with ^^;)

Chapter 5

The sports day festival finally began, and first up was the race of throwing balls into the nets. Tori grumbled and wondered why someone as elegant and high class as him had to bend down and picked up these balls (or say bean bags) from the ground. He demanded Nazuna to pick them up and throw them into the nets for him, but that gets declined by Nazuna since he was in a different team from Tori. (And thus unable to help him) Tori sighed and mentioned that Eichi and Nazuna were in the same team being the red team and grumbled on why wasn’t he in the red team like the rest of them, since he doesn’t want to compete against Eichi.. (Aww~) He was glad to be in the same team as “me” though~

Eichi doesn’t seems to be feeling so good since he had felt dizzy standing under the strong sunlight, and that made Tori worried as he offered to carry Eichi to the shade. Eichi thanked Tori but told him that he’s afraid that he might ended up crushing cute Tori if he had let Tori carried him, also he wanted to stay on for abit longer, since Eichi had been looking forward to this day for quite a long while and would have felt regret if he had to sit out of it.

(Apparently Eichi really had been looking forward to this day since he had already memorised all the rules of the races by reading the entire pamphlets when he was bed-ridden earlier on OWO” This guy was really enthusiastic about the sports day I guess ^^:)

However, the race had started as they were in the midst of chatting, so Nazuna quickly urged them to get started with the throwing. In the middle of the race, someone had accidentally threw a bean bag too hard at the net and almost made the net (or say the pole holding it) to collapse. Thank goodness both Subaru and Koga showed up and helped to support the pole before it toppled over. Nauzu wondered who was the person who had such a huge strength to throw the bean bag that hard~

Just then, a bean bag landed itself onto Nazuna’s face, giving him a shock. He realised later on that it was thrown by Tori, and scolded him for doing that. Tori felt apologetic and asked Nazuna not to be so angry at him, since it’s not like he wanted to throw the bean bag at Nazuna intentionally. Tori had wanted to aim at the net, but somehow the bean bag headed for Nazuna’s face instead... =w=“ Nazuna apologised too for getting angry at him suddenly, and even went onto patting Tori’s head, saying that Tori was not a child who had wanted to harm anyone intentionally. Even though Tori grumbled that he would only allow Eichi and “me” to pat on his head usually, he decided to let Nazuna have this special chance for once to be allowed to pat on his head XD

Tori even helped Nazuna to pick up the bean bags that he had scattered across the ground when he was being hit,even though he knew that it might be seen that he was helping the red team even though Tori was from the white team. Nazuna thanked and praised him, but that ended up making Tori embarrassed as he escaped from the scene, remarking that Nazuna praising him made it seems like he had done a good deed when initially he was in the wrong at first. (Aww~ Tori is adorable here >///<)

In the end, it seems that the white team had won this race, but Nazuna wasn’t affected at all as he smiled and commented that they shall just have to catch up to them later on~

Chapter 6

Izumi was glad to be able to meet up with Makoto at the sports day festival, since they hardly get a chance to practise with each other before that and Izumi expressed that he had felt really lonely. However, Makoto felt that Izumi was being too close to him (he was rubbing his cheeks against Makoto ^^;) and told him that if Izumi insisted on being that annoying, he is going to end up disliking him. Izumi smiled as he backed off, remarking that he knew that Makoto doesn’t like to have close skinship with him.

He had thought that Makoto would be comfortable rubbing cheeks with him, (What...?) but since Makoto showed that he dislikes that, Izumi asked him what level of skinship he would prefer with him. He asked Makoto whether he would feel alright in holding hands with him, but Makoto said that it’s disgusting for guys to be holding hands together. (I guess in Makoto’s eyes that look pretty... gay in a way? ^^;)

Since holdings hands isn’t possible either, Izumi proposed that he wrapped his arm around Makoto’s shoulder. This made Makoto felt even more uncomfortable as he felt it was even a skinship closer than holding hands, and besides he doesn’t get why they have to wrap their arms around each other when they’re participating in the race of borrowing items instead of the three legged race ^^;

Talking about the three legged race, Makoto remarked about how he wanted to be someone to participate in the race with “me” as a backup (but we’re in different team Makoto...), and that ended up getting a glare from Izumi. Makoto told Izumi that he’s scary when he glaring at others even though he had a beautiful face, which Izumi only heard the part about “his beautiful face” and ended up being overjoyed that Makoto had actually praised him. He wanted Makoto to praise him one more time and tell him that “Izumi was beautiful and handsome, and is a brother that I feel proud of”, which Makoto denied that he had never ever said anything like that before. (Izumi made this all up himself XDD)

Izumi just treat Makoto’s reaction as he’s shy though, and complimented that he’s cute this way, to which Makoto signed as he realised that whatever he had said to Izumi would be changed by him to mean a positive thing instead and thus wondered perhaps it’s better if he doesn’t speak to him intead. (Izumi totally sounds like a bro-con here ^^; Why are you making it so hard for Makoto to communicate with you? =w=“)

Makoto noitced that Ritsu was complaining under the sun that it’s hot and he’s dying in the heat. He offered Ritsu some water, but rather than water, Ritsu wished that Makoto would bring him to somewhere that had a shade, since he wanted to go to a cooling and windy place to catch a nap instead. He was surprised that Makoto would actually want to talk to him since he had spoken some harsh words to him the last time (*Note: Midsummer night’s dream again), and usually people would not want to speak to someone who was harsh with them ever again. He mentioned that Makoto seems to be someone who was quite dense unlike his looks, to be able to speak to someone like he had forgotten everything that had happened.

Izumi was pissed that Ritsu was referring to Makoto as “Yuu-kun”, claiming that who had given Ritsu the permission to call Makoto by that nickname and that he’s the only one who could call him “Yuu-kun”. He also scolded Ritsu to not to bully Makoto when he’s not around, and told Makoto to inform him if he was being bullied by anyone. He assured Makoto that he’ll get ride of anyone who had dared to bully him, and also asked him whether he was bullied by the Trickstar’s members as well. (Izumi’s bro-con is really shining here~ +W+” And hey! Trickstar aren’t bullying Makoto, they’re not bullies ><”)

Izumi remarked that since Makoto was a child who would bear everything by himself, he was worried about him and thus made it his responsibility to understand fully about Makoto’s social circle. (Take it easy Izumi and don’t end up being a stalker ^^;)

Makoto remarked that Izumi’s “love” for him was heavy, and this was why he had not told Izumi about what had happened between him and Ritsu the last time since he had expected that Izumi’s reaction would be something like this. He assured Izumi that he was not being bullied by Ritsu, and in fact Ritsu had helped him by giving him a good advice, since if not Makoto might have run away from Izumi once again. He felt that if Ritsu had not said such words to him, he would not be able to face Izumi now, even though he admitted that till now he had yet to fully understand what Izumi was thinking about.

Ritsu remarked that such conflicts would happen between real siblings too, mentioning that even him and Mao who were family had gotten into a conflict with each other sometime ago. The two had thought about ending their relationship but decided not to in the end. (Why does it sounds like they’re breaking up =w=“)

Ritsu told Makoto that he knew that Makoto didn’t want to hurt Izumi intentionally now, but he wondered whether the two of them would have any improvements in their relationship from now on. (Since it’s hard to tell now ^^:) Makoto gave a weak smile and commented that he wished that Izumi would graduate from him and not stick to him that much as a brother actually, but Izumi only focused on the fact that Makoto had referred to him as a brother instead and was overjoyed about it once again ^^; (I guess this might coninue for awhile from Izumi... ^^:)

Just then, Ritsu noticed and mentioned that “I” was waving at them from under the sick bay tent. Makoto however, noticed that Izumi seems to be glaring at that direction as he realised that “I’m” over there waving at them. (Makoto seems worried and doesn’t want “me” to be discovered by Izumi actually.) Izumi told him that “I” can’t hide from him since Izumi could find “me” straight away, which Makoto had felt quite scary about it. In the end, Makoto could only wave back at “me". (That sounds awkward =w=“)

Chapter 7

The race of borrowing items had started, as Ritsu grumbled and wondered why does he have to participate in such a race. (Just give up Ritsu XD) Mao who was also participating in the race had already reached the question stage, and realised that the object he had to borrow was a pair of spectacles. He was glad that this was a default question that would appear in the race and was about to head off when he heard Ritsu calling out to him from behind and asking him to carry him to the goal. Mao told him that his question was “spectacles” and not “Ritsu” and urged him to quickly pick a question instead before he doesn’t get to pick anymore. (Since there’s a high possibility that he might ended up with a weird question.)

Ritsu was not worried about getting a weird question, telling Mao that if that happens, he would just change the question instead and asked Mao whether he had a pen with him. Mao replied with a weak smile that it’s against the rule to do that, and besides, he doesn’t have a pen with him and thus Ritsu to give up on that idea. He told Ritsu not to cause any trouble to other people before he headed off to get the item that his question required. Ritsu wasn’t pleased that Mao is leaving him behind, remarking that Mao is a mean childhood friend who had escaped from him and he’s going to curse him. (Don’t be so evil Ritsu XD)

As Ritsu finally reached the question corner, he realised that Mao was right since there’s only one question left for him to pick in the end. Opening up the slip of paper, he realised that item he was supposed to find was a parasol. Since the audience were all under the tent and in the shade, Ritsu guessed that they would not be holding out a parasol during the race. He wondered that perhaps someone might have it if he had asked them one by one but he disliked the idea of it since it would take up alot of time too. He pondered on whether he should just give up and said that he had looked hard for it but couldn’t find it. (Ritsu, you haven’t even tried yet! ^^;)

It was really sunny and thus Ritsu felt unbearable under the sun. He felt that he might be burned to dust under the sun and could even feel that he could hear his brother’s voice... Only that it wasn’t a hallucination. Rei was cheering for Ritsu, and hoped that he would work hard when he heard his voice.

Ritsu realised that it wasn’t him hallucinating and could see that his brother was holding onto a parasol under the tent. The parasol was just what Ritsu needs so he headed towards Rei, who was happy to find that his voice was heard by him. (Rei was really being a bro-con here XD)

“Ohh~ My voice was being heard by Ritsu? Ritsu~ Big brother is here! It’s Ritsu’s favourite big brother!”

Ritsu wondered whether he was lucky or unlucky to find that his brother actually had a parasol in hand, since he doesn’t want to borrow it from Rei. He doesn’t want to call Rei “big brother” to get what he wants, since he felt that it would too disgusting that he wanted to puke. In the end, Ritsu ended up just staring at Rei... and then just snatched off the parasol from his hands XD (That’s kind of rude Ritsu ><”)

Realising that Ritsu seems to want the parasol from him, Rei was alright in letting him taking it, and even mentioned that if Ritsu had wanted it, Rei could even offer his life to him. However, Ritsu just dissed back at him that he found it very troublesome if that happens. (He even emphasized the word “troublesome” twice =w=“) Rei told Ritsu that he doesn’t have to return the parasol to him actually, since the parasol was prepared for Ritsu actually. In fact, Rei was glad that the parasol ended up being useful for Ritsu instead. (Aww... Rei actually cares for his brother alot ^////^)

Too bad Ritsu just find that him talking to Rei was a huge waste of time overall, since the other participants who had borrowed their items successfully were heading to the goal by this time. Ritsu smiled and thought to himself that he shall make his way slowly to the goal instead by his own pace~

Izumi had also participated in the race of borrowing items, and upon realising that the item he needs to borrow was a pair of spectacles, he started laughing and declared that even the sky (or say heaven) was on his side. Since spectacles can be said as Makoto’s trademark, Izumi immediately set off to find Makoto. (He mentioned that Makoto’s spectacles were ugly and lowered his attractiveness though... And it’s pretty creepy that the way he searched for Makoto was like those killers looking for their prey in a hide-and-seek manner OAO”)

However, Mao had approached Makoto first and asked him to lend him his spectacles. He realised that Makoto can’t see without his spectacles and didn’t want to borrow from him initially, since Makoto needs to see in order to head to the goal as he was also participating in the race. Makoto smiled and replied to Mao that it’s okay, since he had prepared a spare pair of spectacles as he had already predicted that such a question would appear. And thus in the end, Makoto lent Mao the spectacles that he was wearing.

Makoto put on the spare pair of spectacles, but realised that he had put on the wrong pair of spectacles since his vision was still blurry after he had put on this pair of spectacles.

Just then, Izumi had found Makoto and came straight at him, and ended up scaring Makoto a little. Izumi was pissed when he realised that Makoto doesn’t have his spectacles on him and asked him whether he had tripped and crushed them. Makoto informed Izumi that he had lent his spectacles to Mao, and though he had a spare pair of glasses with him, the degree of that pair of spectacles was wrong and he can’t see a thing with them on. Izumi decided that he shall just carry Makoto with him to the goal instead in that case. (Izumi, are you even listening to what Makoto is saying...? ^^:)

(I just want to show how Makoto looks like without his glasses ^////^)

Chapter 8

Izumi tried to drag Makoto off with him but Makoto declined to go with him, saying that he had to look for Mao first to exchange his spectacles with him. He told Izumi that the vice president (Keito) had spectacles too and thus requested him to borrow it from him instead, before running off to look for Mao.

In the end, Izumi decided to look for Keito to borrow a pair of spectacles from him instead, just when he needed him, he noticed Keito walking towards the school blocks and quickly chased after him.

Catching up to Keito, the first thing that Izumi told him was to get Keito to lend him his spectacles. Keito obviously found that rude as Izumi doesn’t even greet him first, and didn’t even tell him why does he need his spectacles all of a sudden. After knowing that Izumi required it for the race, Keito decided to lend it to him, even though he had planned on rejecting him straight away if it was due to a boring reason.

However, Keito can’t see really well without his spectacles either, talking to Izumi when he was standing on the other side ^^; Worrying about Keito causing an accident if he moved around, Izumi requested him to sit down and not move at all until he got back later on.

(Here you can see how Keito looks like without his spectacles and how Izumi looks like with Keito’s spectacles on him ~ ^///^)

Izumi realised that both Keito and Makoto seems to have put their entire selves into these... unreliable looking spectacles. (As in they can’t be like themselves normally without these spectacles?) He wondered whether he would understand Makoto’s feelings if his eyesight had worsen and would need to rely on spectacles but decided that he shall only put on the spectacles when he was reading and put on contact lens instead if his eyesight had worsen. Izumi smiled as he imagined himself discussing with Makoto over such topics, remarking that they would seems like brothers that way~

Next up is the obstacle race, as Hajime tried to calm himself down by taking a deep breathe and praying that everything would be alright later on. He was worried that he might fall or being unable to reach the goal later on, but tried his best not to let his worries get over him.

Shinobu was his partner and in the red team with him too, thus Hajime called over him, wishing both of them luck during the race later on even though they belonged to different class. Shinobu replied that Hajime seems really calm when Shinobu himself was really nervous on the other hand. However, Shinobu was confident that he would be able to perform well in this race since he’s a ninja and the obstacle race was one where he could show off his skills~ +W+ (Ganbatte Shinobu~! ^^) Shinobu mentioned that he was not really athletic, but he was good with climbing through the net as it required certain skills to get through it easily. The rest of the obstacle race too required more of balancing than speed, and this was identified as the key point of the obstacle race.

(The audience was cheering really loud when the race had started, that Shinobu started to get really nervous as it reminded him of being in a live performance~ ^///^ Aww~ Shinobu is just too adorable here >////<)

Shinobu started off first and told Hajime that he would create a space for him in the net to climb through after him. After Shinobu had gotten through the net easily, he told Hajime that he’s going off first to clear the rest of the obstacles. Hajime was thankful for Shinobu’s help and tried his best to get through the net... but his hair ended up getting caught in the net and in the end his whole body was caught in the net. Hajime struggled to get out as he saw the other participants got through the net one by one while he’s still stuck there TWT (Poor Hajime...) He finally made it out in the end, and quickly dashed off to the next obstacle~

Chapter 9

Nazuna met “me” at the broadcasting tent and told “me” that he was here to do his job as the broadcaster for the event as he didn’t get to do so in the morning. (Nazuna had participated in the race of throwing balls into the nets in the morning.) The broadcasting club was in charge of announcing and talking about the race during it, and was also in charge of recording down the results of the races during the sports day festival. In the afternoon, Shinobu and Makoto would both joined him in the broadcasting activities, but both Makoto and Shinobu would be participating in the tug of war race, and thus Nazuna mentioned that other members of the broadcasting club would help out instead at that time. Nazuna told “me” that he would be the one talking when the relay race was on, and wanted “me” to look forward to it.

Suddenly, Hajime ran to him in a hurry which made Nazuna worried that something might have happened. However, the reason that Hajime had came to find him was to invite him for lunch. Seeing that “I” was there too, Hajime tried to invite “me” to join them too, but “I” told them that “I” had already eaten “my” lunch. Hajime remarked that he had also tried to invite Mitsuru too, but Mitsuru told “him” that he had eaten and that “the bento made by big sister was really delicious”. He had initially thought that Mitsuru was referring to his own sister, but after asking “me” about it, he realised that he was actually referring to “me” instead, and comment that he kind of eny Mitsuru that he had a chance to eat “my” bento. (Sounds like Hajime wants a bite from it too ^///^)

Nazuna told Hajime that the cheerleading challenge would start after lunch, and since Nazuna was from the red team same as Hajime, he told Hajime that he would be able to work even harder at the races in the afternoon after listening to Hajime’s cheers~ In the end, Hajime bidded good bye to “me” as he and Nazuna went off to enjoy their lunch.

Chapter 9 - 10

Finally it was time for the cheerleading challenge to start. Hajime noticed that in the middle of the field was a chair and wondered that perhaps it was arranged by Eichi. Ritsu was glad that Eichi had kept to his promise and made arrangements just like how he wanted and started praising him. (The least you could was to praise Eichi in front of him ^^;)

The white team would be first to start off with their cheerleading, but before they could even start. Small pieces of white paper started to fall from the sky like they’re snow. Ritsu mentioned that he had saw someone sitting on a hot air balloon just now, and guessed that whoever it was must be the one who scattered these paper snow. Hajime found the balloon very familiar but couldn’t remember where he had seen it before initially, but finally remembered it in the end that he had last saw it during the tanabata festival.

However, Ritsu found that the paper snow would cause a big mess later on at the event and that it would be hard to clean up later on. He shouted up at the hot air balloon, demanding the person to take responsibility and clean the place up later on. Hajime noticed that there’s a light shining from the hot air balloon, shining at a interval and wonder what it had meant. Ritsu replied that he guessed that it was a morse code that was given out since they won’t be able to hear whatever the person is saying even if he had shouted at them.

Ritsu was already at his limit and wanted to sit down on the chair. The chair actually had a roof above it and was really comfortable for Ritsu. In fact, it was too comfortable that Ritsu started falling asleep as Hajime tried to wake him up, and encouraged him to work hard for the cheerleading challenge. However, Ritsu had mistaken it as Hajime cheering for the white team instead and called him a betrayer instead, saying that he pitied those who were in the red team. Hajime was flustered as he tried to explain that he was not cheering for the white team, but only Ritsu instead. Ritsu told Hajime that he was just joking with him actually, but Hajime felt that such a joke is bad for his heart... ^^; (Don’t be mean and tease Hajime too much Ritsu~ XD)

Ritsu apologised to Hajime that he had made him worried but he’s alright now so Hajime can stop worry about him now. Even though Ritsu had said that he was an old grandpa earlier on, he knew that this was the time he had to be young again, and said he could always make his heart feel young again at such a time., and started his cheerleading support for the white team to prove that to Hajime~

The other cheerleaders from the white team had matched themselves to Ritsu’s voice, and the loud cheering overall had made even Hajime felt that his body was being energized. He was impressed that Ritsu could have such an overwhelming effect on everyone and felt that Ritsu was actually quite similar to Eichi in this way. He guessed that perhaps because both of them are considered as the “real idols” and thus have the powers to let others unable to take their eyes off them.

When Ritsu’s cheers was over, he remarked that it wasn’t as tiring as he had expected, since all he had done was waving his poms poms around as the paper snow fell around him. As the chair was quickly removed after Ritsu’s performance, he couldn’t stay near to Hajime and watched him cheering, but still he told Hajime that he would be watching him from afar and wished him luck next.

Next up is Hajime’s turn, and as Ritsu watched him, he remarked that Hajime too had the aura that let people felt that they wanted to continue watching him and couldn’t take their eyes off it. He predicted that Hajime would shine even more as he grew up, and mentioned that even Eichi and “me” seems to be quite fond of him as well~ (Perhaps Eichi had high hopes on Hajime actually?~ OWO”)

Ritsu noticed “me” and asked “me” why was “I” here slacking off from “my” job. “I” told him that “I’m” actually looking for Sagami Sensei as “I” had a three legged race later on in the afternoon, and Ritsu offered to help “me” searched for him since we just need to find him before the race. He wanted to call Hajime too now that the red team had finished cheering but realised that he doesn’t have much of a voice after cheering so loudly earlier on, and asked “me” to call for Hajime in replacement of him instead ^^;

Chapter 11

Nazuna was really excited when the long awaited relay race was starting soon. He told “me” that he would be using this megaphone to broadcast about the race. The relay race would be split into multiple sections, with clubs, units, classes and red and white team competing against each other.

As the race was starting soon, Nazuna told “me” that “I” would be obstructing the racers if “I” stood there, and told “me” to sit at the chair under the tent, saying that he had given “me” the permission being the leader of the broadcasting club.

Nazuna started to broadcast the current race as the racers started running with each other. Both red teams started off leading the race being the first and second. The white teams were trailing behind, but ultimately one of the teams overtaken one of the red teams and began fighting for the number one spot with the remaining red team.

Makoto arrived at the tent and was surprised that “I” was sitting there. He was confused initially that he had came to the wrong tent, but "I” told him that Nazuna had given “me” permission to sit at this tent. Makoto had came to listen to Nazuna’s broadcast, saying that this would be a learning opportunity for him.

After the relay race would be the tug of war, and Nazuna told us that he’s going to make the broadcast for it as lively as the relay race.

Epilogue

At the end of the day, Ritsu was complaining that he was left with no blood and tears with his body all battered. (I guess he’s really tired =w=“) Eichi approached him, and Ritsu immediately called him out being betrayer, as Eichi had sat out on the tug of war competition. Ritsu told him that he had worked hard by participating in the races in the morning, also doing his job being the cheerleading captain, and also participated in the tug of war even though he wasn’t willing to.

Eichi apologised to Ritsu, and explained that he was actually looking forward to the tug of war, but got too excited that he collapsed while he was heading towards the race. Haijime who had overheard their conversation, quickly told Eichi to head home and rest instead, telling him to leave the cleaning up of the place to him. However, Eichi replied him that he’s alright now, in fact he wanted to enjoy more of the sports day festival, and thus wanted to stay here for a little while longer.

As “I” was there cleaning up with them, Ritsu asked “me” to take care of him instead, claiming that he’s too tired that he could hardly moved a step now. Eichi told him not to become a spoiled child to “me”, since he’s actually older than “me”. However, Ritsu replied that it’s alright since he’s in the same school year as “me” anyway, and “I’m” similar to Mao, someone who likes others to be a spoiled child to them. (Ritsu is indirectly saying that he’s a useless person who likes to be spoiled child actually ^^;) He claimed that he’s just fulfilling “my” wish, and thus should be praised instead XD

On the other hand, Izumi was asking Nazuna the whereabouts of Makoto, since he was with Nazuna just now. Nazuna told Izumi that he was being too noisy and answered him that the two of them had separated with each other their broadcasting activities, and didn’t know where he had head to after that. Izumi expressed that he had felt terrible being unable to see Makoto for almost the whole day, and was disappointed that he had rushed here but still failed to see Makoto. Nazuna felt troublesome but told Izumi that he would help him to look for Makoto later on after the clean up, and pat him on his head, telling him to be patient about it.

Izumi doesn’t like being pat on the head, and started teasing Nazuna about his height instead, and that pissed Nazuna off, rebutting at Izumi that he was just being mean.

Eichi noticed that “I” seems to be behaving anxiously, and guessed that perhaps someone was waiting for “me” to finish my clean up. “I” told them that “I’m” supposed to be meeting with the basketball club at the school gate, but still want to finish cleaning up the area before “I” head off. Izumi said that “I” must have really like to work seeing that “I’m” even carrying two chairs while still talking to them, and decided to help “me” to carry them instead. Nauzna complimented that Izumi was being nice to him, but he denied and explained that he’s only doing this because he thought that if he stays around “me” he might be able to see Makoto somehow.

In the end, Nazuna decided to help out, and asked Hajime to pitch him too. He even asked Ritsu to help out too, but Ritsu told Nazuna not to pin point him XD Nazun just answered that Ritsu should move about more often even though he’s like an old man same as Rei.

Ritsu agreed in the end, and told him that he’s going to work hard today but slack tomorrow instead. Eichi commented that it’s not good to sleep the whole day and remarked that he’s still going to go to school tomorrow, to which Ritsu dissed him that Eichi must have like the school too much to want to go to school when it was a rest day.

Izumi told them to stop talking and start working, and Nazuna thought to himself that even though Izumi was someone who was mean sometimes, he’s someone who’s actually really good at taking care of others, and thought of him that he had become a “brother” who was very reliable for others.

And that’s it for this story! I’m glad that this story has its spotlight on Ritsu and Hajime, especially Hajime since I kind of have a soft spot for him and wished that he could shine more~ (The ra*bits kids need more love seriously)

There’s quite alot of unexpected refreshing sides for me to learn about while reading this story~ I never knew that the tea club was that interesting! Especially if you think of how Rtisu used to detest Eichi very much, it’s amazing that the two of them could interact with each other in the same club. Hajime was actually being well loved by the two of them though ^////^ Even though Nazuna also takes care of Hajime alot, it felt good too to see Eichi and Ritsu spoiling him for a change~

Izumi was actually really interesting and funny in this story~! Especially how he wanted to be Makoto so much. As a Makoto fan usually I’ll be slightly annoyed by Izumi’s actions, but not this time, in fact I could really see that he really cares for Makoto and wanted to be with him as much as possible ^^ (As long as he doesn’t be too annoying and pissed off Makoto instead XD)

Talking about Izumi, I’ve gotten the Izumi 4* card from this event, since this was an old event which I’ve participated a year ago~ I actually like the 5* illustrations very much and would probably participate in the revivial event next time to get them in the future ^^

#ensemble stars #event story #translation #summary #hajime #ritsu #eichi #nazuna #izumi #makoto #mao #shinobu #tori #otome game #es:event #es:translation

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angelkurenai · 7 years

Text

Imagine being roommates with Dean since you were in college and now sharing a house.

“Good morning!” Dean grinned at you as you walked down the stairs. You however kept a straight face, lips pursed and didn't utter a word to the man instead walked past him and towards the fridge to get something to eat.

“Well- thanks for asking I slept great!” Dean put on a fake happy smile and you only sent him a death glare before going back to searching for something to eat, not saying a word to him anymore.

He sighed before placing a plate of pancakes on the table “I made breakfast for you too, I'm not going to eat it all by myself you know. Come on.” he said more softly but as tempting as those pancakes looked you still were too angry at him.

“(Y/n) come on.” his voice was laced with regret “You know I didn't do it on purpose.”

At this you couldn't help but snap at him “Oh really? Tell me Dean, how is you banging a girl on my bed without locking the door happening by accident?!” you hissed and he cringed slightly.

“I told you we got a little carried away, and I didn't realize we were walking right into your room. You know how one thing leads to another and we just-”

“Enough alright!” you snapped cutting him off “I fought the entire night to get the fucking images out of my mind and the sounds you two were making was not helping at all!” you slammed the fridge shut and Dean didn't say a word for a moment.

“I'm sorry” he mumbled afer a long pause.

“For the love of, stop saying you're sorry! We both know you're not Dean!” you fumed, bumping shoulders with him as you decided to leave the kitchen. Just the memory of the previous night made your stomach turn and the thought of food was completely unappealing.

At this point you at least werent talking about the fact that he was banging the chick on your bed but the fact that he was with her in the first place. You thought that by now he'd have realized that he meant more than just a normal roommate would but he had no idea.

You had been best friends ever since you were little and when you went to college you decided it would be fun to share a room. Being roommates with Dean Winchester seemed like a dream coming true because of the perks it had, one of which was being able to see him shirtless or out of the shower with just a towel very often without it being weird because you had walked in on him or something. That along with the occasional bed sharing was all you'd ever need.

“What are you doing?” a voice was heard behind you with a chuckle as you let a small whine, turning around to face the person. Not that you didn't know who it was already.

“What does it look like? Am 'bout to sleep.” you mumbled sleepily; having spent the entire day on the library for your project really took a toll on you.

He laughed shaking his head, as you couldn't help but admire the way his muscles flexed when he wore that black shirt and came to sit next to your laying form “On my bed?” he smirked as you paused for a moment; taking a look around you.

“Oops” you mumbled, shrugging but still too tired to move.

“You're so fucking adorable.” he mumbled, running a hand through your hair; tucking a few strands behind your ear and a small smile tugged at your lips. If only you had gotten a look on the expression on his face you would certainly be blushing.

“Come on-” he whispered in a low voice “Scoot over.”

“D” you mumbled “I'm too tired-”

“I'm not asking you to get up, beans.” he chuckled, helping you move “Just move a little bit.” he said and willed yourself to move just a few inches as you shortly afterwards felt the bed dip and Dean lay next to you.

“You could sleep on my bed you know, don't have a problem.” you mumbled yawning and he chuckled, shaking his head.

“Nah I'd much rather be here, it's the most comfortable place on Earth for me from every aspect.” he whispered and you felt a kiss on your forehead. You opened your eyes just a little bit to look at him, your heart skipping a beat at how beautiful he looked under the moonlight.

“Your bed?” you whispered and he grinned softly.

“Your arms.” he replied and you grinned softly, feeling your cheeks heat up as you slowly snuggled closer to him, moving your head to rest it on his chest as he wrapped his arms firmly around you.

“You're such a softie, you know that roomie?” you mumbled and his chest vibrated as he laughed.

“Only for my roomie.” he said with a small grin and you only sighed in content, tangling your legs with his.

“I love you, you know that?” you whispered in the haze of your almost sleep.

“I know” his voice sounded more serious “I love you too.”

After some time you decided to rent a small house to be more comfortable, which was a bit of disappointment because you no longer shared a room and you didn't have the excuse you used to but still was great because- who wouldn't want to wake up to Dean Winchester cooking breakfast for them every morning?

But of course there came the drawbacks as well. Such as him bringing girls over at night, something he didn't do before because you were in the bed right next to his. However this mere problem was enough to set you on edge and make you angry for the rest of the week if not month.

“What? (Y/n)- (Y/n)!” he shouted after you as he rushed to catch up with you “(Y/n), wait damn it!”

“What Dean, what?!” you screamed in his face, not caring at all. You've had enough with him. It was one thing watching him flirt with other women but bringing them over to your shared house? You weren't going to tolerate that.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he breathed out watching your expression, studying you.

“Of course you don't know, do you?” you huffed, rolling your eyes with a shake of your head.

“What am I supposed to know (Y/n)?” he frowned deeply and huffed.

“Doesn't matter Dean, doesn't matter.” you shook your head with a sigh finally more tired than angry at him.

“No!” he grabbed your arms and made you face him again “I apologized for sleeping in your bed with her but I explained it was a mistake yet you still are angry at me. It's not about it, is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know. You tell me (Y/n).” he crossed his arms over his chest “Are you... are you jealous?”

“Wh-what?!” your voice rose an octave as he only kept a stern look on his face. Stern but expecting, as if he was almost eager to hear your answer.

“Why would I be jealous?”

“I don't know.” he shrugged softly “You are the one that should tell me.” he said more softly and you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

“No Dean.” you pursed your lips “I shouldn't be the one to tell you. You should be the one to tell- from the first fucking moment! You've known me for years, for years Dean, you know everything about me. Hell you know what I will do before I even think about doing it yet you are so fucking blind when it comes to this that it infuriates me! Yes, that's what makes me angry the most. But if you are such a fucking idiot and won't see it- I am not going to tell you the truth. You figure it out yourself!” you growled, pushing him away as he stared at you with what could be only described as a hurt expression.

“(Y/n)-” he started softly but the glare you shot him made him press his lips in a thin line.

“No, you don't get to (Y/n) me!” you pointed a finger at him “If you want it to be this way Winchester then so be it! Go sleep with all of my coworkers in my room for all I care. If you can't see what my problem really is... there is no point of living in the same house whatsoever.” you breathed out, shaking your head.

“What?”

#supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural one shot #supernatural x reader #dean #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean imagine #dean winchester imagine #dean one shot #dean winchester one shot #dean fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction

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fanficcollection · 7 years

Text

Tumblr-Girl (Part 2)

Tumblr – Girl (Series)

Part 1 Part 3 Masterlist

Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: the day after the first conversation Word Count: 1.913 Warnings: panic attack, angst, depression, mental illness, self doubt

Notes: it is my first ever fanfic and I am not a English native speaker so please don’t hate me, I hope you like the idea, there at least some more parts to come. :) IMPORTANT: I’m looking for someone like a beta-reader (since I’m not an English-native-speaker there are (probably) loads of mistakes in my texts as well as some ideas seem better in my mind than in the text, so you know what a beta-reader does, don’t you? Just shoot me a message if you want to help me with my texts

Now enjoy the second chapter ;)

Your POV

The next day you woke up, your body in pain and extremely tired, you swore you would never again trust a single human being who wants to help and certainly not some guy on tumblr. Yesterday you thought this guy really cared, that you have finally found someone to get this weight from your shoulders, but as everyone else he just let you down. Just wanted to play a knight until he read this few lines and recognized your unappealing character, until the game got boring, as it always does when you were involved.

You decided to get a long, hot shower to please your body and after that you checked the cuts on your wrist, they weren’t very deep, it would just take a few days for them to heal, they probably wouldn’t even leave scars. Good. You hated the scars on your wrist, where too many people could see them, there were a lot more scars above your elbow and on your tights because hiding them there was a lot easier. You just cut on your wrist when you didn’t really think about what you did. When you just urged to feel your body, when your mind completely shuts down.

You put on your favourite hoodie and some jogging pants and thought about checking your tumblr inbox. No. You just promised yourself not to do this again, maybe you should just delete that app from your mobile phone. But you couldn’t get yourself to do it, not yet, so you just went to your phone settings and switched off the tumblr-notifications. You don’t want to hear anything of that guy anymore, you thought.

Mishas POV

As I woke up in the morning I wasn’t as tired as I thought I would be, I looked at the time and jumped out of my bed shocked. Shit. It was nearly 10, filming started at quarter to 10. I put on a pair of comfortable jeans and a simple T-shirt, then I rushed to the bathroom, brushed my teeth while fixing my messy hair. Why wasn’t there any alarm? Oh, my mobile was still off because of the lack of battery. Shit. In my car I plugged in the portable charger and instantly messages came in. I quickly looked at it and hoped for a message of the tumblr-girl from the night before but as I unlocked the screen there were just seven texts and two missed calls from Jensen.

Morning, I’m going a bit earlier today, want me to pick you up? -Jensen

I’m leaving in 10, if you want me to pick you up, tell me. –Jensen

Okay, I’m leaving now. I guess I’ll see you on set in 30 minutes. – J

Where are you, buddy? Late night yesterday? ;)

Hey Misha, where are you? They are looking for you, shooting starts in 20

Mish, where are you? Forgot your job, huh?

Misha?

I shook my head. Shit. They are gonna hate me. I quickly wrote a text to Jensen

Hey buddy, I overslept, I’m sorry will be there asap – Misha

I got on set just 20 minutes later, although everyone was ready and waiting for me, I was a bit embarrassed and tried to get ready very quickly so we could start filming. When I sat down at the make-up table, Sarah, the make-up artist looked at me shocked. “Is something wrong?” I asked her confused. She stared at me and pointed at my eyes “Did you stayed up the whole night?” she asked blankly. I looked at me in the mirror and recognized the dark shadows below my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I said “but you can fix this, can’t you?” I replied with a little smile. She sighed “It will be a lot of work, but I think I can.” I nodded and let her start applying loads of make-up to my face.

I was tired the whole day, every now and then my mind went off to the tumblr-girl which hasn’t responded since last night. I was messing up constantly and at some point Jensen talked to the director to get some time for a break. Then he came back and looked at me “Everything okay, buddy?” he asked and I nodded instantly “It’s just because you are absent the whole time, what’s going on?” he kept going. I sighed quietly, not sure if I should tell him about the situation going on but then you nodded “See, I was on tumblr yesterday-“ – “What?” he stared at my perplexed “You were on tumblr? What did you do, read fanfictions about us?” he laughed, but as he saw my concerned face he got serious again and just said “go on.”

“Yeah, I just like to see what people are doing to each other, there are incredible supporting and helpful people out there. I really love to see how they are a family just as we are.” I smiled but then I got back to the subject “but yesterday I met this girl on tumblr, she sounded really desperate and more or less asked the community for support.” I looked at him and he nodded slowly and I kept going. “I- I don’t know, there was nobody responding so I just shot her a message with some nice lines, you know. I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing.” I looked at my feet “She responded somewhere in the middle of the night, I was still awake, maybe because I was a bit worried about her, she sounded desperate, like she had nobody to talk, we wrote a short time, maybe two or three messages and then my phone battery went out, I had to look for my charger but didn’t find it so some minutes passed and when I finally sent her a message from my laptop she didn’t respond. I heard nothing from her since then. I- I’m just worried, Jensen.” I finished.

Jensen nodded again and gave me a gentle hug. “I understand.” He smiled “You are simply too precious for this world, buddy, but I understand. I hope she is responding soon, maybe she is just as tired as you are and overslept as well, or she needs just a little time, I’m sure she is okay.” He patted my shoulder and I gave him a weak smile. “I hope so.” I said “Okay, let’s get back to work and wrap the thing for today.”

Your POV

Since you had your day off every Friday you had no duties to do today, you just stayed at home and listened to some music, did your laundry, tried to keep yourself busy. But you couldn’t forget about this guy. Every now and then you started crying, your head felt like it would burst any second and you just couldn’t anymore. You thought a long time about killing yourself, you wouldn’t be a burden for anybody anymore, but you couldn’t get yourself to do it. Instead you took a pill against your headache and grabbed the bottle of white wine from the fridge. Of course you knew that medication and alcohol weren’t a good combination, but who cares, if you die you die. At least it would be over then. So you sipped at the bottle turned on the TV and started watching Supernatural, again.

Short time later the warm feeling of the alcohol in your blood helped you to relax a bit, you got more emotional and you started crying at some points of the TV-show. You really loved the characters, you loved the connection between the brothers and between Dean and Cass, how they did everything for another and you were sad that you had no friend, no family, to rely on just as they do.

When your thoughts beat you up again and you forced yourself to breathe slowly, when you tried to calm yourself down you took your mobile and opened the tumblr app without thinking. Your eyes focussed immediately on the little symbol above the inbox-sign. Two new messages. You were shivering as you opened your inbox and the chat with oldbonesgoingdown, you read the message, which arrived maybe half an hour after your message yesterday, when you were too freaked out to watch your phone.

“Don’t think like that, Y/N. I don’t know you that well (now), but I think you are an interesting person, you seem like there are a lot of interesting things to know about you and I would like to get to know them all.

Oh my dear, I hope you are better now, I feel with you, I know this feeling when your head puts up some cruel ideas and you can’t do anything but believing it, I really know it, but it will pass, at least for a while. And remember, I am here, girl, I am.

Love, oldbonesgoingdown

PS.: And I don’t think Y/N is an normal, boring name, like you said, I think it sounds very light, adorable and lovely, I don’t know anybody who is called Y/N. I really like the sound of it.

You had to read the message multiple times, tears rushing down your face, struggling for air, but then a soft smile reached your face. When you scrolled down to the second message, also from oldbonesgoingdown the smile vanished as fast as it appeared.

Hey Y/N,

I haven’t heard from you all day, so I decided to ask once again if you are okay. I hope I said nothing that could have intimidated you, if I did, I’m so sorry. I just need to know how you are doing.

Please, just shoot me a short message.

Love, oldbonesgoingdown

Ps. If I said something that annoyed you, or if you just want me to stop messaging, just say it, I don’t want to force you to anything, I just care about you.

There once was a person who cared and you managed to disappoint him in under a day, you aren’t worth getting the care of a person as nice as this guy seemed. In spite of you knowing you weren’t worth his attention you wrote a short message, to tell him you were still alive, because you couldn’t do the favour to the world and kill yourself.

Hey stranger – I still just know your tumblr-id?

I’m alive is maybe the best I can say after today. I’m far from alright although I’m drunk and crying while watching the boys kill monsters, but your message gave me a smile. I didn’t want to make you wait for my complaints and for sure I didn’t want to make you worry.

I know (no, I don’t understand it, but you told me) you care about me and you want to hear things about me and for the moment you know some things about me (My name is Y/N, I’m good at disappointing people, getting myself into trouble and being a burden for others and I’m a huge SPN fan as I’m in the family) but I just want to know some things about you, at least I name, please.

And of course I don’t want you to stop writing, but I know who I am, so if you want me to stop, yeah, just tell me, I guess.

Greetings, Y/N

The fact that you were drunk made you write things you hadn’t told anybody if you were sober, anybody. You wrote as you thought, don’t beat around the bush.

Part 3

#spn #spnfamily #spnfandom #misha x reader #misha collins #misha #jensen ackles #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic

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alazbatyr · 7 years

Text

meet you there

ao3 / ffnet

There’s been a change, recently.

Sadist is treating her better for some reason. Okay, they have their fights every now and then, and the verbal spats still don’t cease. But, more often than not, they spend their time together sitting in their park, picking on people other than each other and occasionally beating a thug or eight when they happen to come across some in Kabuki District.

Even when they fight, he pulls his punches, careful not to leave even a bruise. Of course, she teases him for it, aiming to evoke a reaction from him, but he just shrugs and asks her if she wants to go for some ramen, and off they go.

Kagura doesn’t know if she likes it or not.

On the tenth day, she decides to ask her Gin-chan about it.

She’s lying next to Sadaharu, cuddling up to his warmth. It’s a dreadfully cold day. It’s the middle of spring, but the last dregs of the past winter still leave the air brisk and humid, before spring fully settles and sunshine takes its place.

The Yorozuya is chilly due to their heating being broken, and Gintoki is huddling in front of their only flimsy heater holding a blanket wrapped around himself, leaving no space for her. Hence, Sadaharu.

She’s wants to get up to grab something to eat, but leaving her blissfully warm spot to make the trek to the kitchen is too unappealing. She decides to snuggle even more closer to Sadaharu, petting his soft fur.

“Hey, Gin-chan?”

He hums, bringing his hands closer to the heater to warm up his chilly fingers.

“Have you noticed something different with the Sadist this past week?” she asks.

She doesn’t notice his shoulders tensing up and straightening a little, too busy with running her fingers through her dog’s fur.

“What makes you ask that, Kagura?” he says with a strangled tone and she raises her gaze to look at him, noting his slightly furrowed eyebrows.

‘Probably because he can’t pick his nose with his cold fingers,’ she thinks and decides to ignore it. He deserves it anyways, he made her pick up the habit. Anego says it’s unbecoming, now that she’s a woman.

“I don’t know. He’s been acting nicer? Yesterday he took me to dinner and didn’t even complain about how much he had to pay.”

She expects a dumb comment or for him to warn her against how ‘all men are pigs and just after her body so don’t date anyone ever, or at least until you’re thirty’.

Instead he turns towards her, and asks her with now expression whatsoever;

“Well, I don’t know. Why do you think that is?”

She stops combing her fingers through Sadaharu’s fur, her hand resting lightly upon his slowly rising and falling belly. An expectant silence hangs in the air, and she has no idea how to answer. Has anything important happened recently that she’s not aware of? Something to change the status quo? She tries to recall the events of the past few weeks and doesn’t come up with anything.

“I don’t know,” she says, “it’s probably his time of the month or something.”

She is met with a deep sight and the sound of Gintoki shuffling back towards the heater.

“You know that men don’t have that thing, right?”

She declines to respond and with the soothing sound of wind howling outside, settles down for a nap.

On the thirteenth day, she decides to admit she kind of likes this change.

It’s the day that Spring Festival of Edo takes place. She had been waiting for this the whole winter, looking forward to the sun making its appearance again, to bring its warmth and brightness along. The darkness of winter, hail and snow are things she has had too much of. She doesn’t miss them.

She’s walking Sadaharu through Kabuki district. The cold has finally broken after the last few days and she doesn’t miss the chance to go out and bask in the sunlight. It’s weak, obstructed by the clouds hovering above, so she holds her umbrella closed in her hand and makes her way to their park.

He’s there, sitting on the bench he has claimed as his own with his sleeping mask covering his eyes and his head leaning back.

She lets Sadaharu run ahead, and does something she would never allow herself to do. She lets herself, for a few moments, to look at him.

The weak sunlight is reflecting off his light-colored hair, making it look brighter and softer. The black of his uniform contrasts nicely with his skin, and she imagines how it would feel to run her fingers through his hair, to feel his soft looking skin, to gaze into his deep, crimson eyes and drown-

He reaches up and moves his sleeping mask up and onto his head like he feels her gaze and she mentally slaps herself, ‘God damn it, what the fuck was that-’ and looks over to Sadaharu running around the park.

“Hey, China.” he says. She turns towards him, who’s still reclining on the bench, now his eyes boring into hers. It’s almost like he’s scrutinizing her, though she doesn’t get why. After a few moments, he seems to relax and turns forward again.

Making her way to the bench, she sits down next to him, placing her umbrella next to the partly chipped wood.

“Don’t you have work to do, Sadist?” she says, making herself comfortable.

He places his arms onto the back of the bench and says;

“I am working. I’m on patrol, and right now I’m ensuring the security of the people in the park. Unlike some lazy asses who do nothing but lay around in their boss’ office all day.”

Kagura snorts, and leans back too, both of them watching Sadaharu chase kids around the park with a comfortable silence between them. After a while, his fingers start tap-tap-tapping on the bench with no rhythm.

“Come with me to the Spring Festival tonight.” says Sougo.

Caught off guard, Kagura turns sideways to look at him. There’s a subtle redness on his cheeks and his eyes are still trained forward, determinedly tracking the big white dog running around the park.

“Um. Well… I promised Anego that I’d go with her-”

His fingers stop tapping on the bench abruptly. He pulls his arms to his sides and prepares to get up.

“Okay then. Give my best to that Goril-”

“But I think I’d like to go with you more, Sadist.”

Surprised, Sougo sits back down on the bench and raises his eyes to look at her. She’s fiddling with the handle of her umbrella, not meeting his eyes, but he can see a small turning up of her lips breaking through.

He quirks his lips in return, relishing in her smile and after a moment, rising from his seat.

“Then it’s a date. Meet me here at five. Don’t be late.”

Shinpachi’s at home when she gets there, cleaning the kitchen while Gintoki sleeps on the sofa wrapped in a blanket with his JUMP covering his face.

She toes off her shoes in the doorway and makes her way to Shinpachi.

“Hey, glasses.”

Shinpachi startles, nearly dropping the bowl he’s rinsing and turns to her with worried eyes.

“Kagura-chan! Where have you been? You weren’t there when I got here and-”

“I was just walking Sadaharu, calm down!” she says. She’d be alarmed by his actions, if she wasn’t used to Shinpachi being such a worrywart.

She makes her way to the fridge, ignoring Shinpachi’s worried look and asks;

“Do you think Anego would be mad if I didn’t go to the festival with her?”

“Oh my God, Kagura-chan! Are you ill? Why aren’t you going? Tell me where it hurts, I’ll look if we have any medici-“

“Shut up, glasses! I’m not sick!” she says, throwing an annoyed look at the boy.

“Then why aren’t you going to the festival? You love festivals!”

“Who said I’m not going, idiot!” she says, slamming the fridge door shut.

“Eh? Then why did you ask if Aneue would be mad if you didn’t go?”

Kagura mumbles something he can’t catch, still facing the fridge.

“What?” says Shinpachi, “I didn’t hear that.”

“I said I’m going with the Sadist, damn it! Do you think Anego can help me to get ready?”

“Kagura-chan! Do you have a date? You do, don’t you? You’ve been spending a lot of time with Okita-san lately, I’m not even surprised.”

Kagura blushes, equal parts annoyed and embarrassed.

“Shut up, idiot! Just answer my question!”

Surprisingly, Gintoki doesn’t make a fuss when she tells him she will go to the festival with Sougo, letting her off with a customary ‘Don’t be late,’, and she’s off to Shimura dojo.

Anego’s eyes almost sparkle when she tells her that she has a date with Sadist and she readily lends her a kimono which she promises to bring back intact.

She arrives at their park with five minutes to spare to find him already there, in daily clothes instead of his uniform.

“You look nice, China. I could get used to seeing you like this.” he says without an ounce of sarcasm, and offers his arm to her. She feels warmth crawling up her neck and cheeks and thinks, ‘I could get used to this too.’

“Who knew a pig who could eat a restaurant out of ingredients and money could look like this. I’m impressed.”

All those nice feelings she had hearing his words die a fiery death. ‘Still the same fucking idiot he always was,’ she concludes. She crosses her arms with an annoyed expression.

“You just had to ruin it, didn’t you, Sadist? And to think I went to all that trouble…” she says, mumbling the last part.

Sougo chuckles. Grabbing her arm, he steers her towards the direction the festival is taking place at.

“Well, come on China. Time waits for no man.”

It’s the most fun she has in ages.

Sougo lets her get anything she wants, which is mostly food and competes with her in everything that doesn’t concern food, which are mostly shooting games.

They watch the fireworks from their park, the festival being too crowded to enjoy it properly. It is kind of chilly, and the grass is a little damp, but they don’t mind. They lie down on the grass side by side, close to the cherry blossom trees where they first met and with all the prizes they won from all those shooting games and watch.

It’s spectacular, the lights creating stark lines against the dark sky, curving, sparkling and bright, only to fade away moments later, followed by more and more. Kagura traces them all with entranced eyes, trying to follow every streak of light with her eyes which shine an unearthly blue.

Sougo watches her eyes, her expressions, rather than those fancy explosions of gunpowder. He’s seen them all his life, but seeing this, his China girl, bright and happy, is a privilege that he intends to utilize until his very last moment. He watches the mirror of the fireworks in her eyes, the impression of them lighting her pale face, and the happiness of them from her lips, instead.

It’s better and more satisfying than any light show he has ever seen.

They don’t mind the damp grass against their backs, lying down on a lush patch of grass in their park under the dark night sky. The chilly night air raises goosebumps up her legs. Her arm touching his at her side, though, warms her up more than it should.

“You see that constellation, China?”

“All of those are just dots to me. You gotta be more specific.”

Sougo sighs, taking her hand in his and raising it to pointing to eleven stars, tracing a path through the sky with her fingers.

“That’s Koharu. You see it?”

At her nod, he continues.

“The legend says that she had a lover, a samurai named Ren.”

He moves her hand to a little bit to the left, tracing nine other stars, both their arms rising, reaching towards the dark.

“She was a miko, and despite forsaking both love and the mortal world to only love and service the Kami, she fell in love with him.”

Sougo lowers their arms back to his side, not letting go of Kagura’s hand and she turns sideways to be able to both see him and the stars, bright blemishes against the night sky she never was able to see back in her home planet.

“The Kami got angry at her for breaking her vow. She saw in a vision, that he was to go on a mission he wouldn’t return from. She begged him not to go, but he had no choice. He promised Koharu, that if he didn’t make it in this lifetime, he would find her in his next life, and they would be together, for eternity then.

“In the end, he didn’t return and in her misery, her body deteriorated. She welcomed it, knowing she would get to meet her lover in her next life.”

Kagura falls silent, tracing both constellations with her eyes, wondering if they ever got to meet in their next lives, or the one after that.

Sougo’s hand still loosely around hers, she takes the chance and tightens her grip around his hand.

“Do you think they got to meet again? In their next lives?” she asks quietly, looking at his profile highlighted by the dim light of the moon.

He doesn’t respond for a moment, gazing at the constellations he pointed out moments ago. Then he turns his head to look into her eyes and says;

“Who knows? The Kami are vengeful and cruel, so they probably didn’t.”

Neither of them say anything for a few minutes, silently watching the stars twinkle above. Kagura shifts, turning her head better to see him. His eyes are turned away, but she can see that his mind is far away.

She absentmindedly rubs small circles on the back of his hand, an anchor for him to stay rooted to that moment, to come back to here and now.

“Well, they’re together now up in the sky, aren’t they?”

Sougo tightens his grip and lets a small smile shine through.

He drops her off to the Yorozuya building just after one in the morning.

She doesn’t know what to say. This is not what they usually do, an evening without fights or arguments isn’t what she’s used to. So she just goes with the flow, lets him lead her to her home with her arm tucked into his without argument.

She fiddles with the sleeves of her kimono for a moment, and looking at the floorboards of her doorway, says;

“U-Um. Well… Thank you… for tonight, Sadi-Sougo.”

“Polite talk isn’t becoming on a pig like you, China,” Sougo says with a flat tone, leaning on one leg with his hands tucked into his pockets.

“Who are you calling a pig, dumbass?” Kagura says, clutching the arm of her kimono.

Sougo chuckles.

“Relax, China girl, I’m just teasing. I had fun too.” he says, taking her hand that’s wrinkling the sleeve of the kimono that Anego lent to her. She lets go of it, not wanting to damage it further and lets Sougo take her hand and raising her eyes to meet his.

He’s looking at her with a graveness she’s never seen directed to her.

She doesn’t resist a bit when he leans down towards her lips with his eyes half lidded.

She’s entranced.

Expecting a fully consuming, dominating kiss from him befitting of his title, ‘Sadist,’ she’s surprised by the delicate, close mouthed kiss she receives.

He pulls away after just a few moments, leaving her bewildered and wanting more.

He looks at her lips for a few moments, then raising them to meet her eyes, says;

“Goodnight, China.”

And leaves, her surprised eyes tracking him until he disappears out of her sight.

It takes a while for her to fall asleep, but when she does, she goes to sleep all happy and giddy that night, with the feel of Sougo’s kiss tingling her lips.

She has a nightmare she can’t make sense of that night.

She’s dying, dying, dying-

It’s so hard to breathe, she’s wheezing, struggling to get a little bit of air into her lungs. Her chest feels heavy, like it’s filled with lead and she’s trying to push down the metal to make room for oxygen. With every heavy breath, a little bit of that red, red metal comes up, up from her lungs, through her mouth and down her chin.

There are hands holding her up, chanting, “China, China, Kagura, come back. Come back! Please, don’t do this, please, please!”, but she can’t breathe, she can’t breathe, metal and blood filling her lungs and she can’t can’t can’t-

On day fourteen, she wakes up with her throat dry and with a distinct burn in her eyes.

She first washes her face to get rid of the red tinge on her face, then goes to the kitchen to eat breakfast with her adopted family.

Shinpachi is, as always, preparing their breakfast while Gintoki sits slumped on the ground. The effort of keeping his head up is seemingly too much for him, as it’s hanging tilted towards his shoulder.

“Good morning, Gin-chan, Shinpachi.” she mumbles, taking her spot by the table.

“Good morning, Kagura-chan! How did you sleep?” Shinpachi asks with a tone of voice that is too high and too fucking awake this early in the morning.

“God, I wish I hadn’t said anything. Shut up.” Says Kagura, also resting her head upon the countertop.

“Kagura-chan! That’s a very rude thing to say! What would Aneue say?” Shinpachi says while checking the time on the rice counter.

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” said Kagura, her mind still stuck on the fact that she kissed that goddamn Sadist – no matter how innocently – on the mouth. Shit. How is she supposed to get married now?

She goes through who she can ask about the situation.

If she asks Anego, she’ll get questioned on every little detail. Tsukki will ask how much money he has and if he can provide for her once he -god forbid- owns her for eternity. Those travesties and Kyubeii will ask about the size of his dick, and while she has no judgement towards peoples’ fetishes, she is not motivated to fuel them either.

Shinpachi brings their rice and soup while she’s lost in her thoughts. He sets them down on the table, nudges Gintoki awake with his elbow and turns to her.

“How was the festival, Kagura-chan?” he asks. “Did you have fun?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah.” she says, fully focused on her rice.

“I didn’t hear any news about stalls being destroyed by two demons either. Didn’t know you two could be civil towards each other.” says Gintoki.

Kagura hums, shoving her food into her mouth in lieu of responding.

Shinpachi sets down his chopsticks, unnerved by the usually loud mouthed girl not spewing out words with the ferocity of a machine gun.

He scrutinizes her more closely, and notices the faint bags under her eyes and her pales than usual complexion, and decides to inquire about it after she’s done with her food.

She puts down her bowl and chopsticks, and with a sigh, prepares to get up but Shinpachi placing his hand on her forearm stops her.

“Are you alright, Kagura-chan? You don’t look well. Did you catch a cold?”

“I’m okay, Glasses. I just had a nightmare, that’s all.”

“Oh. Do you want to talk about it?”

She considers not saying anything, Sougo’s desperate eyes and the tone that rang clear despite the disturbing silence still fresh in her mind. But worrying Shinpachi isn’t something she wants. He worries too much about too many things already. She swears that one day he’ll die of high blood pressure.

She sighs, not knowing how to begin and stares at a small scratch on the surface of the low table.

“I don’t know what I saw. It felt like I was dying, and Sadist was there… And he… He…” she trails off, fiddling with the ends of her qipao.

She misses Gintoki shooting a grave look at Shinpachi, who grimaces and shakes his head ‘no’. Gintoki frowns before putting on what he hopes looks like his usual, bored expression.

“Maybe you ate something bad yesterday, Kagura. You know those things make you see weird shit at night. Like that one time I drank expired strawberry milk and dreamt I was burning my JUMP collection.”

Kagura thinks for a moment, and seeming appeased, says;

“Uh-huh, you’re right, Gin-chan. You can never trust those food stalls.”

Raising from the floor, she dusts the skirt of her qipao and heads towards the door.

“I’m going for a walk. Come on, Sadaharu.”

She puts on her shoes, grabs her umbrella, and she’s out the door with her dog bounding after her.

Gintoki lets out a sigh, leaning on the table with both of his elbows resting on it and rubs his temples. There’s a frown marring his face.

“God damn it.”

Shinpachi is silent besides him, eyes boring holes into the ground.

“Do you think we should tell her, Gin-san?” he says quietly.

Gintoki drops his hand from his forehead, squeezing it into a fist.

“No. He didn’t want her to know and it’s not our place to tell her, anyways. That stupid kid. Doesn’t he realize that the later she learns, the more it’s gonna hurt?”

“Are you going out again, Sougo?” Kondo asks from where he’s leaning on the doorway of Sougo’s room with his arms crossed. “To see the Yorozuya girl?”

“Yeah.” says Sougo, straightening his uniform jacket and grabbing his sword to fix it on his belt. He forgoes his sleeping mask. He won’t need it, now that he doesn’t have forever to etch her face into his mind, to memorize every look and every expression that she makes.

“Kondo-san,” he says, turning towards the door. “I know I never said this, but I appreciate everything you’ve done and still do for me. Thank you.”

Kondo’s shoulders stiffen and he drops his arms to his sides, taking a step into the room.

“Don’t talk like everything is over, Sougo! Our men are still looking for a miko that can turn this situation around. We’ll find a way out of this.”

Sougo shrugs.

“It’s alright, Kondo-san. I knew what I was getting myself into.”

A solemn silence hangs in the air. This is something that words and empty promises won’t solve.

“I’ll be going, then. China should be at the park by now.” He says, making his way out the door, leaving Kondo standing in the spartan room.

There was always this ‘will they or won’t they’ situation between them. They were the only ones who could keep up with each other, be it with words or with punches. When the situation called for it though, they moved with an understanding of each other so deep, it was like they were two parts of one. They became each other’s pillars, compasses, north stars. No matter what happened, they would find their way back, back to each other.

It was a matter of time. Maybe later, rather than sooner, they would catch on and maybe not put aside their differences, but learn to live with them.

But Sougo learnt the hard way that time was a privilege, not something to take for granted and with his rather harsh wake up call, decided to take the reins and make the most of the limited time he had left.

The eighteenth day brings with it the truth.

Kagura was always aware that life is cruel. She became acquainted with the fact early in her life and it did its best to remind her of it in every chance it got.

She thinks she shouldn’t be surprised one of the best things she got to have, other than her Yorozuya family, is to be taken away before she even gets used to it.

She keeps seeing the same nightmare every night starting from the first night has it. She memorizes the details, how the air smells of the distinct smell of blood and copper, how heavy her lungs feel and tighten with every breath she tries to take. How she feels so, so cold but the arms holding her up are so warm, easing her discomfort just a tiny bit. How his eyes look even brighter and a deeper crimson with a slight sheen of tears and a splatter of blood on his cheek.

She catalogues every emotion she can detect in his face, denial, refusal, and the most prominent one; desperation. She wants to reach up and dry his eyes, clean his face of the blood stark against his pale skin, but her arms refuse to rise and she can do nothing but lay there and listen to his pleas for her to ‘hang on, just hang on China, just a little bit more-’ until she wakes up.

She wakes up worn out and restless every time, and it’s starting to take its toll on her. She goes to the park every day driven by the need to see Sougo and reassure herself that everything is alright. As more days pass without sleep, though, she feels herself getting slow and sluggish.

That day, she falls asleep on the bench Sougo has claimed as his own waiting for him and wakes up in Gintoki’s futon.

She tries to recall how she got there, but comes up blank. She only remembers going to the park, watching Sadaharu run around and play with kids who are lucky enough to catch his eye.

Hearing two voices she knows by heart coming from the kitchen, Kagura gets up rubbing the sleep from her eyes and makes her way towards where they are.

“-you going to tell her, Sougo? She deserves to know.”

Kagura stops in her tracks. Gintoki’s tone is unusually solemn and she wants to know who they are talking about that can make him like this.

Sougo’s voice comes in just moments later. She plasters herself to the wall of the hallway and tilts her head to hear them better.

“I can’t tell her, Danna. You know how she is. She’ll do something stupid and probably dangerous and what I’ve done will just go to waste.”

Gintoki sighs.

“Cut the crap, kid. I know you want to protect her, but after you’re gone, what’ll happen then? It will only get harder to tell her when the time’s closer.”

“I know that, Danna.”

There’s silence for a while, she can only hear clinking of cups. She takes that time to process what she has heard.

She feels confused, angry, and something else she can’t name. Disappointment, maybe? She doesn’t know. Sadist is going away and he didn’t tell her? Where’s he going? She thought they were close enough for him to share something like that with her, especially after the events of the last two weeks.

Gintoki’s voice rouses her from her thoughts.

“How long do you have left?”

“Just under two weeks, now.” he says, and Kagura feels the world crash down around her. She wants to barge in, beat the damn Sadist to the ground and demand answers but she can do nothing but stand frozen in her spot.

“You know she won’t take this well.”

“There’s nothing to be done. I trust you to take care of her, Danna.”

She hears rustling of cloth and draws herself further down the hallway.

“Sougo-”

“It’s alright. I know you’ll protect her in my place too, when I’m not here to do it.”

Kagura makes it to Gintoki’s room just in time, hearing the kitchen door slide open, and slides down onto the floor.

Dinner that night feels tense, at least to her. Gintoki and Shinpachi are still their usual selves, bickering with their usual fervor but she feels no inclination to join in. She doesn’t feel like eating. She absently picks at her rice.

Making up her mind, she decides to ask Gintoki.

“Gin-chan.”

Gintoki makes a muffled sound, his mouth full.

“Why is Sadist leaving?”

A heavy silence falls upon the trio. Gintoki freezes with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth while Shinpachi stares intently into his bowl. Gintoki swallows his mouthful.

“A-ah, Kagura, where did that come from? I don’t-”

“Don’t bullshit me, Gin-chan! I heard you and Sadist talking today! I said, why is he leaving?”

Seeing his adoptive daughter so pissed off, and hurt veiled in her eyes stirs something deep within him. He weighs his options, to tell her and let her be hurt now, or go around the topic only for her to get devastated later.

The look she shoots him erases all his doubts. She’s tough and strong willed, but she’s still his little girl, and he can’t bear to see her like this.

He sets down his chopsticks, and fixes his gaze to hers.

“Do you remember what happened about two weeks ago, Kagura?”

She’s glad, as she lays sprawled on the ground staring up at the sky, for once not afraid the sun will burn her to her core if she stays under it long enough, that the day she dies isn’t a rainy one.

There’s a puncture at her chest the size of her fist with blood pumping out, but as long as she doesn’t move and keeps her breathing light, she doesn’t feel any pain. She doesn’t think about it too much, she’s just grateful she doesn’t die in agony.

The clashing of swords and cries of men fighting around her are muffled, like they are coming from somewhere distant. She saw Gintoki and Shinpachi barge in with the Shinsengumi before she was shot. They are probably winning, she thinks, as she can’t imagine her Gin-chan and that Sadist to ever lose to anyone.

She forgets about it soon enough, goes back to staring at the sun which seems a bit dimmer. Or maybe it’s her vision that is dimming. She doesn’t know. Her mind is too fuzzy to think and cold is creeping up her limbs.

Someone drops down beside her. She notices the noise has ceased and tilts her head to the side to see who it is. Blinking her eyes slowly a few times to get rid of the black spots all over the place, she finally registers a flash of silver hair.

She tries to push air through her lungs, to open her mouth to speak, but the result is a series of coughs that dribble blood up her lungs and from her mouth. The movement disturbs the wound and the agony she hadn’t felt arrives with vengeance. Gintoki presses on the wound to stop the bleeding as much as he can. Her ears are ringing so loudly that she doesn’t hear Gintoki is talking until he is halfway through whatever he’s saying.

“-on, Kagura, hold on, the ambulance is on its way, alright? You just hang in there.”

Kagura shakes her head ‘no’, or tries to, as what she does is a miniscule turn of her head.

Someone else comes to her other side with hurried steps and then they are raising her torso off the ground and bringing her to a warm chest. The hands feel blessedly warm, she feels colder with every passing second but the hands help.

She doesn’t know when she closed her eyes but she opens them. Breathing is a struggle now, even the smallest amounts of air not passing through her blood-filled trachea. She finds herself looking into familiar, crimson eyes. She can see his lips move, his face scrunched up in an expression she has never seen before on him, but the ringing in her ears is getting louder and louder-

Kamui has stepped on many toes on his path to being the strongest space pirate. His ruthlessness and wrath admired by some, and despised by most. He has no shortage of enemies, people who would do anything to get revenge for their titles, reputations, and most of all, their prides.

So, when someone hears that the infamous Harusame admiral has a weak little sister on a tiny planet called Earth, grasping at every chance to enact their revenge, they go after her.

They first plan to hold her hostage and offer to give her back to Kamui with the price being humiliation at worst and his life at best.

Some idiotic earthlings decide to meddle, though, and their to-be hostage is shot by one of their own in the ensuing chaos.

Seeing the reason they decided to come down to Earth almost dead on the ground, there is nothing left to do but leave. Their revenge will have to wait.

Sougo is at their park, enjoying the crisp night air before he has to go back to the Shinsengumi compound. He knows he will get almost no sleep, his brain hardwired to spend as much time as he can awake. He lets out a chuckle. All that time he spent napping the day away and now he can’t -doesn’t want to- stay asleep more than three hours a day.

He doesn’t regret it. Seeing China on the ground, much like a broken doll with her blood pooled around her body, its crimson color more vibrant against her pale skin is something he never wants to see again. He had thought, in that moment that he would do anything, anything, to bring her back, and the Kami had answered.

Looking up at the heavens, tracing the stars and constellations, he finds that he would do it again without remorse.

In a heartbeat.

Kagura running towards him shouting profanities is what parts him from his thoughts. He thinks she got annoyed at something or other at the Yorozuya building, as there is always something to disturb her peace there and her fuse is rather short. His lips form a small smirk. Loosening his stance with anticipation, he prepares for the lively brawl that is sure to take place.

When she gets closer, though, he can see her red cheeks, her eyes livid and tears running down her face. Worried, he lets down his guard.

And is met with a punch on his face.

He falls on his ass, thankfully meeting the soft grass and decides not to get up, seeing the girl in front of him still furious, her breathing heavy and both her hands clutched into fists at her sides.

“Why did you do it, Sadist? How could you! God damn it! Are you fucking mad?”

Sougo rubs his aching cheek. There will be a bruise tomorrow.

“The fuck are you going on about, China? I can take you in for assault.” He says, trying to lighten the mood.

Which fails pathetically. It only seems to make her angrier, her frown deepening, tears still pooled in her eyes.

“Cut the crap, Sadist. Why? Why did you do it?”

Sougo lets his hand drop from his cheek with a sigh. He pushes himself up and looks her straight in the eye.

“You know damn well why. Don’t make me spell it out, China.”

She drops her gaze to the ground. Her shoulders shaking, she tries to smother the sobs rising up her chest.

Sougo keeps silent. He just reaches for her hand, pulling her down to sit on the grass and lies down. Not letting go of his hand, Kagura lies down next to him with her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. His hand comes up to grasp her shoulder, pulling her closer to him and slowly rubbing up and down.

“I couldn’t stand by and do nothing when the Kami gave me a chance. I couldn’t let it, let you, slip away.” He says quietly, like he doesn’t want to disturb the silence that is unique only to the night.

Kagura feels her chest constrict, a fresh wave of tears making its way to her eyes which she desperately tries to stop.

She tilts her head to look at him, eyes cloudy with remorse.

“How would you feel if it was me? How would you feel if you had to go on knowing I traded my life for yours?”

Sougo squeezes her upper arm, almost like he’s trying to make sure she’s there with him, real and solid.

“You will live on, China. Promise me that you will.”

Kagura shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath to stop herself from bursting into tears. It’s too much, too much.

“Remember when you told me about Koharu and Ren?” She asks.

The change of topic taking him by surprise, Sougo just hums.

Kagura molds her body closer to his, prompting him to turn his head to look at her.

“Promise me we’ll find each other in our next lives, Sadist. Promise me.” She says, nearly choking on her words.

Sougo knows there won’t be a next life for him. The Kami are cruel, and they always collect their debts when they come due. They have their precious two weeks, and after that there is nothing. No second chances, no new beginning, not even becoming constellations to at last be together at the skies.

But looking at her tearful eyes which shine with a slight glimmer of hope, nearly lost among the sea of sorrow, he can’t tell her the truth. He places a small kiss on her lips, tasting the salt of her tears.

“I promise, China. Be it in a hundred or a thousand years, I’ll find you. No matter what.”

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field.

I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass

The world is too full to talk about.

-Rumi

#okikagu #okita sougo #kagura #gintama #**

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