#i feel like an ugly girl or like a man but like a man who wants to be a girl

[dekusleftsock]

I think about this sometimes but I personally love that Horikoshi took the Yandere trope, split it in two, and gave one half to Izuku and Himiko.

Like it’s so fascinating how you can just SEE how purposeful Himiko was as a character in hindsight standing next to him.

Himiko is a really interesting subversion of her trope for two reasons:

She hurts people because she loves them, not for isolation or destruction of the competition (gore/blood is love to her, not necessarily a means to love someone)

She’s not possessive. Like at all.

I’ve seen that hc a few times and it always bothers me. Ochako is for sure a possessive character (we saw that with Hatsume around Izuku way back at the sports festival arc), but Himiko? Really?

You mean the girl who had a crush on a boy AND the girl who also had a crush on the same boy? Her?

You mean the girl who doesn’t hurt people who love who she loves, rather actively encouraging it in the first place? That one? Really?

Like it’s such an integral part to her subversion too. It’s what makes her such a weird and fascinating character. Possessiveness is supposed to be whats ugly about love itself, yet her love remains ugly without it. She is ugly because the fundamental ways in which she sees and feels about the world are considered “wrong”, “dangerous”, and “deviant”.

But Izuku… ohhhh Izuku…

He holds this trait like a badge melted to his skin. My man cannot escape these allegations. It’s to the point where it’s honestly a fundamental to his narrative. Izuku does not act nor feel the same without it.

Izuku holds a cutesy nickname that literally every other childhood friend of Katsuki’s has long left behind, saying his real name instead (this is honestly why I’m also uninterested in a scene where Izuku calls him “Katsuki” instead of “Kacchan”, Katsuki doesn’t represent the same things the name Izuku does, imo at least), izuku “give him back to me” midoriya, holds his dead body to his chest on a cover, freaked out on someone either hurting/offending Kacchan.. 3 times(?), keeping big boy ofa secrets…. The list goes on.

So it’s this main reason that I think their characters are just so. Fucking. Intertwined. I’m glad this has become a more common interpretation because there’s just so much that aligns between them.

Both of them call their “special people” with -chan endings, both by their first names, both deemed deviants/irrelevant by society. It’s no wonder Ochako fell in love with Izuku, just like she did toga, they’re fucking freaks. They’re interesting. They’re weird. They’re overly friendly and socially inept and a little beaten down by the world yet have too much passion to stay on the ground. They’re envious of the ones they love (Ochako of her freedom to be a normal girl, Katsuki for his raw power and harnessed skill), and I guess I just wanted to make this post because I adore how it’s all done.

I LOVE how the yandere trope is used as societal commentary here. Not necessarily as a way to make the main love interest jealous and feel she must protect the main character, nor for some kinky reason surrounding her character, but because the trope is built off of real, ugly feelings that can and do happen. That love can and is considered truly beautiful in all its forms, especially those of queer people.

So I especially love it because it isn’t just limited to Himiko, but Izuku as well. He may never hurt the ones he loves, but he would hurt for them.

A perfect narrative foil on queer and deviant forms of love. Big fan Horikoshi.

#they’re such freaks and that’s why I love them so much #and so are ochako and Katsuki in their own special ways #just never in the way people think #ochako is a little freak who may or may not think it’s hot when Izuku is a bit beat up. #Katsuki may also be a freak for being weirdly aggressive and so viscerally himself at all times. not even necessarily bc he wants to be a- #jackass but that it’s just who he is to call people asshole nicknames based on appearance or to scream mid battle #ntm my boy was bullied before he got his quirk so like. yk. makes sense that he’s so quick to think that izuku’s been playing the long game #bkdk #togachako #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bkdk brainrot #bakudeku #bnha deku #bakugou katsuki #mha analysis #deku midoriya #uraraka ochako #himiko toga #ochako x himiko

[creedslove]

HIS ✨

Post outbreak QZ era!Joel Miller x f!reader

DRABBLE ✨

Warnings: mentions of sex, kind of explicit really, idk I am horny tbh

A/N: idk besties, not my best but not my worst either 🤷‍♀️

619 words

That apartment in the QZ was disgusting, just like the rest of the world was; everything was dark, filthy and hopeless, but none of that seemed to matter when you were being pounded by Joel in that thin, old, uncomfortable mattress. Nothing mattered, as long as he had his arms holding you by your sides, moving them up from your hips until they got to your neck, he never squeezed it, but he held you in place, while his free calloused rough hand traveled from your back to your hair, tangling itself between your strands, a caress almost sweet amongst the explicit and obscene private show you two had going on there. The way he thrusted hard against your hips, his cock reaching even further into your slippery muscles, how you welcomed his size, squeezing him in a way that would earn you some of his grunts and quiet moans.

You were able to ignore all the ugliness around the two of you, it didn't matter if you caught the flash of FEDRA’s light reflector through the window, or if you heard someone screaming in horror or begging for help, at that moment, there were only two people in the world: you and Joel.

And during those moments, the world wasn't such a bad place, it was quite good because of you had him, that beastly of a man, that untamed and bitter guy who wouldn't open up to you, who would always keep himself a mystery, threatening and kicking and punching his way through life, or whatever was left of it. You would probably never admit it out loud how much you like Joel, and how many times you'd close your eyes and pretend you two were meant to be. How many times you'd wish relationships were still something that could work, that being attached to someone wasn't the stupidest idea one could possibly have. But at that moment he was yours, his body belonged to yours and whenever you felt his hot load inside, you felt complete. Smiling at him, all you could do was reach for a kiss, and Joel knew damn well how dangerous that was. Your affair had lasted far too long, he always went after you, meaning to break things up, with the intention to remind you that the world was meant for survival and only that, he always wanted to make you see you were way too young for him, too pretty, too good. There was still something good inside of you, there was still hope. Not for Joel, he was a bad man, he didn't understand why you were so fixated on him, and yet, whenever he saw you, your lips, your body, he couldn't resist you. He ended up night after night with you all over his bed, your scent being the only good thing around that horrible place he lived in but refused to call home.

“Mm Joel… that was amazing” your voice was a sweet purr as he felt your curling up into his chest, the way your lips gently placed themselves over his heart made him feel shivers down his spine. It was wrong, he didn't want that, he didn't agree with it, he knew the right thing would be over it as soon as possible, but he just couldn't resist you. You belonged to him, you were the only pretty thing he had in his life, maybe, and just maybe you were worthy all of it.

“Sleep baby girl, just sleep” he kissed your forehead and wrapped his arm around your body, pulling you closer and enjoying the calmness he found in you. You were the only thing that actually resembled happiness in that shitty apartment.

____

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal drabble #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller drabble

[mishy-mashy]

I said this in a whole reblog, but just copy-pasting to a separate post because I think it'll give some reading comprehension and reblogs don't show up in the search feature.. again, I'm reiterating what I said in another post.

Go check out @demidokuriya 's post for this; OP's post made me put this all down in like. 20 minutes. Mind went vroom vroom cuz HEY THEY'RE ONTO SOMETHING.

(They also reblogged the post with some hint to some behind the scenes of what led to the ideas if you wanna check that out)

Look below at how, when Mineta told AFO to spare Tokoyami, AFO specifically went "..."

He remembers Jirou and thinks, The braying howls of the weak...

He was going to take Tokoyami's Quirk. He took Hawks'. But after Mineta pleaded with him, AFO just straight-up left and didn't take anyone else's Quirk.

AFO saw Yoichi in Mineta.

These scenes are near-identical to each other.

Mineta and Yoichi (at that time) are both much smaller than the normal person at their age

They're both hurt, yet dragged themselves up from the ground to throw something at AFO, to get his attention and make their voice

Both are considered weak, even if they have a Quirk (Mineta's Pop-Off and Yoichi's undeveloped Factor)

The fact that Yoichi got AFO's attention here by throwing a can at him, while Mineta got his attention by throwing a Pop-Off ball; and it stuck.

Mineta's call for his attention landed and actually stuck to AFO. This is unlike when Yoichi and his can bounced off, and AFO kicked him, not listening to him; AFO listened to Mineta and left Tokoyami alone, technically doing what Mineta wanted—to not hurt this person.

AFO just went on to hurt more people away from Mineta's [Yoichi's] eyes so the small weakling wouldn't see.

Yoichi and Mineta both cried to AFO to not hurt in his ways, when AFO was intent on stealing people's Quirks

AFO even stole Hawks' Quirk during this time.

He had time to steal Hawks' Quirk, and though he could've tossed him to the side, he let Hawks stand in his way.

He had the energy. Right after this event, he flew off and left the scene. But he didn't go for Tokoyami immediately.

And this let Mineta play his part, and remind AFO of Yoichi.

"A putrid, festering Quirk Factor."

That sounds like Yoichi, AFO.

".. such garbage."

Hey hey hey, what did Yoichi throw at him when they were kids?

A discarded can. Garbage.

This chapter (385) where AFO listens to Mineta is literally called [A Youthful Urge].

Mineta told AFO to take his Pop-Off (hurt him) instead. But last time, AFO hurt Yoichi by kicking him; this time, AFO not only listened to Mineta to not hurt Tokoyami, but didn't touch Mineta at all.

Even though this time, Mineta [Yoichi] offered to take that place of suffering.

Yoichi didn't do that back then. AFO just turned on little Yoichi anyway.

Yoichi through his whole existence is literally [the braying howls of the weak]. AFO acknowledges he's weak and idealistic, yet he still loves him.

Side note about this panel, I think it's interesting that in this vision, this was the first time we saw Yoichi's eyes: when he was being defiant, despite being pushed down by someone much stronger than him.

Really characteristic of him, honestly. Yoichi's soft-spoken and frail, but it's always reiterated that Yoichi had a powerful will against his stronger big brother.

Mineta at this moment reminded him too much of Yoichi, because the two scenes are near-identical to each other. Parallels, really.

Reiterating something from OP's post that I reblogged this from;

"The reminder of his brother made him uncomfortable, so he hurried away."

AFO didn't want to hurt Yoichi again.

#i really dont mean to steal the post from op this fandoms reading comprehension just bothers me #cuz i see too many takes being that horikoshi is an IDIOT who DOESNT KNOW WHAT HES DOING and RUINED A GREAT STORY #and this should only be FEEL-GOOD- #ahahahaha NO. #horikoshi is a genius and him labeling the manga as shounen attributes to a worse-level-of-understanding from the audience #reblog #technically #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #yoichi shigaraki #minoru mineta #afo #all for one #ofa #one for all #spoilers #the reason i started posting bnha stuff was to add some of my own reading comprehension #horikoshi is really smart honestly #poor yoichi AFO saw him in mineta #minetas supposed to be likeable but hes creepy toward girls #but if mineta were tall and nothing else changed i bet some people would like him romantically #reblogs dont show unless its from someone you follow or in the fyp page and i go to the chapters of rewound afo a lot #cuz. cough. hes hot. why #hes an ugly baby and more western or greek(?)-looking as a grown man but between those ages? hes hot and looks like yoichi #im sorry im not trying to hijack anything i swear #im not very smart but i like psychoanalysis and foreshadowing #this was just my reblog adding onto what op said. check the og post for more context #i wouldnt have thought about this on my own. originally thought AFO sparing tokoyami was just for the series fans

[nuppu-nuppu]

I don't understand how other girls girl so hard and are so pretty and such girlies and everytime I try I feel like a man in a dress

#is this a post that I'm gonna look back on in a few years and be like that explains everything #i hope #future nuppu you know me better hope you are well #i feel like an ugly girl or like a man but like a man who wants to be a girl #does this make any sense #or is this somehow offensive and I will be canceled #I'm just frustrated please someone explain to me what #is going on #diagnose me with something #also not that there is anything bad about a man in a dress i'm just saying that i'm not a girl in a dress #i wish i was a man with rock hard abs and long legs #i wish i was hot #vent post #what is this #am i questioning my gender or do i just hate the way i look #i dont understand #please someone tell me and please treat me with kindness I don't want no harm I just don't know anything

[moonlightpirate]

I feel like I could fly. 😍 so there's this guy that I've had a mild crush on for awhile now and I've finally gotten the courage to talk to him everytime he comes in. Dude I'm pretty sure this guy was trying to get to know me today and asking me about my hobbies and interests and then legit was saying he would love for me to help him out when I told him I want to be an editor and I love helping edit stories and such and it felt so much like a he wanted to see me along with the help him thing and I may be reading into it but also I'm like wow 😍 I'm trying to not let my negative self talk in because I'm trying to be better about it but at the same time I'm like this good looking guy is talking to me and paying attention to me? What is going on? 😅

#jen talks #it feels like an airport in my stomach and heart #crush talk #hes so handsome #his smile #his hair #his eyes #like wow #and he seems to have a great personality #and when the negative thoughts come in #im like im a swamp troll #legit ugly af #whats this gorgeous man want with a big ugly girl like me? #but i keep trying to remind myself to stop #and obviously #im not ugly af to him #or at least hes looking for friendship #who knows #time will tell #regardless #im squeeing #im a little fangirl over here #because wow

[mrfoox]

I'd love to date an woman, unfortunately they are too pretty for me or wouldn't match at all personality wise with me 😔

#miranda talking shit #I guess I'm using the wrong app for it but mein gott #I've come across two amazing dykes and both lived so far away like.... I'd love for them to sweep me off my feet #But I got no drivers license so I would be the worst inconvenience on them :/ #Other ladies who have similar interests and vibes seem to be faaaar between or have like multiple partners #I think I would be willing to try an poly relationship if we were three but all I've seen are like “I have many partners” feels like a big #Leap to attempt for me since I have no experience. Anyway uuh.... Women.... Amazing and I have not enough to offer ever :c #Being an ugly loser is hard work mein gott #Let me cry for a moment I'll be over it eventuellt but today is one of those days man #Maybe I find it easier to see men bc I feel I'm never enough for women out there #Like girl you could have anyone.... Little old me only got my undying love and devotion and two cats to offer

[the-casbah-way]

grabs my computer screen and starts shaking it how to cure gender dysphoria HOW TO CURE GENDER DYSPHORIA

#kidding theres no way to fix it when it’s like this #everything i’d normally do to alleviate it makes it worse when it’s this bad #because it’s like wow look at you trying so embarrassingly hard to not look disgusting and failing miserably #i had to cancel my plans yesterday and today because girl i can’t go outside when i feel like this i can’t even get out of bed #looking at myself makes me want to VOMIT why do i look like this #i look back on old pictures of myself and try to work out what was different back then so i can replicate it #but people say i look exactly the same in those photos as i do now #and i remember taking those old photos and feeling ugly and dysphoric back then too #if i lean back into my more cis look i’ll get gendered correctly again which i want #but i don’t like playing cis man it’s not who i am and it makes me feel weird and gross #i just hate what i look like no matter what i do to my appearance #every single part of my physical self makes me feel really ill and anxious and bad and guilty #there’s not a single bit of me i can stand to look at when i feel like this #i feel like everyone who has ever seen me thinks i’m disgusting and ugly and horrible to look at #and i want to like hide forever but i can’t #it’s so hard to function like this #i hate everything about me so much #someone affirm my stupid dumb ass gender right fucking now i’m going to die

[redhotarsenic]

��You need to shave your facial hair everyone’s gonna think you’re a boy” Well.

#I do not think anyone cares as much as you think they do mother! #it’s not like. a significant amount. but I’ve got a little scruff goin on #<- man who most likely has a hormonal imbalance of some sort #it probably looks bad (not in an ugly way but in an uneven way) but eh I feel less like a girl with it

[thursdayg1rl]

being straight is a mental illness I’m sorry

#what do you mean women should ‘distance themselves’ from male friends who have a gf do you hear yourself??? #obviously I’m not saying you should flirt with them or whatever but you can still be friends like 😭 come on now #idk if this makes sense but it just feels objectifying or something idk man #like any woman is automatically some kind of ‘distraction’ and of course she’s trying to ‘steal your man’ bc what other purpose do we have #and it’s US saying this shit like please girl we don’t need to recycle the ‘all women are temptresses’ points from like 1800 can we not?? #AND ALSO I just don’t think your partner has to be the person your entire life revolves around #love isn’t just romantic . come ON grow up you are acting like a 5 year old.. #also no one wants your ugly boyfriend I am sorry to say

[ahalliance]

i don’t get how people can complain about the writing “doing Martha dirty” when that same writing gives her an ending that addresses her treatement over the course of the season, allows her to finally put her to foot down, to establish her self-worth as an individual and to air out her grievances, and gives her the most respectful and satisfying exit from the TARDIS we’d yet seen in the show . like it’s one thing to dislike the direction the writing team took with her arc and to criticise it (perfectly fine) and another to somehow miss it entirely lmao . the ‘martha feels out of place, second best, and like a rebound’ is an intentional piece of writing that gets resolved by the end of the season . like that wasn’t smth they threw in for shits and giggles, it had in-story repercussions

#and if u don’t think those repercussions were Enough then that’s totally cool and smth to start a discussion over #but . don’t act as if they didn’t happen lmao?? #i just . yells #like i have my own criticisms about the writing (giving the ‘i feel second best to this dude’s past love interest’ to the first POC #companion was . probably not the best of choices let’s be real #though there’s some leeway there as im assuming the character was written before audtions . but still . could have been reconsidered #idk i totally understand why people aren’t fans of the storyline itself (outside of how coherent the writing is) but i think it’s a shame #that many others just kinda seem to miss the point because it’s such a unique and interesting arc to give to a companion #i like fresh ideas!! i like the doctor Actually being portrayed at someone who is clumsy with relationships and emotional intimacy!! #i like it when his trauma spills over in ugly and complex ways like we see in season 3 in regards to his friendship with martha #and i like it even better when his accidentally cruel actions and mistakes get brought up and criticised by the narrative!! like it does in #the end of s3!! it’s so good!! #i enjoy 10 because he’s my favourite wet cat but also because he is allowed to fill up room like a real traumatised individual would #it’s like . okay i enjoy ‘ooo the doctor is the oncoming storm ooo he’s hurt and killed so many people ooo’ #but it’s also good to See the actual ramifications of that shit you know . hearing about his legend status is always fun but damn man #is it satisfying from a character analysis POV to see him hurt the people around him . to see him treat his friends poorly on accident #because of his own character flaws . like that’s GOOD #and it just sorta irks me sometimes bc people will have this smug attitude of ‘well MY blorbo isn’t a rude piece of shit and is actually a #paragon of morality’ and like girl i don’t give a shit . that’s fine in small doses but it’s not what’s compelling #people tend to like interacting with ‘angsty traumatised edgy characters’ if their edginess is contained in a nice little box that doesn’t #overspill . fuck no give me the characters that are loud and ugly and unpleasant about their trauma THAT’S THE REAL SHIT #jay rambles #dw.txt #10.txt #marthaj.txt #sometimes u wanna treat the blorbo from your show like a real person sure but sometimes it is better to remember that they are fictional #and there to be considered as part of a bigger story and as an item to analyse . case in poiny #point #maybe i shouldn’t be surprised by this though since people still get hung up over rose quartz

[cjadewyton]

A pet peeve of mine is when artists draw characters with traits that aren't considered conventionally attractive, call them "ugly" traits, and then expect a pat on the back for being "inclusive" and "body positive" for drawing them.

Like?? If you were ACTUALLY body positive you wouldn't even think to call them "ugly" traits. They're just TRAITS. That real people in real life have. Physically traits are inherently neutral and you need to do some reflecting on your mindset.

#growls like an animal at the ex-friend who once called me “charitable” for drawing a girl with chipped teeth and guy with patchy facial hair #like those traits are bad or something and not just a completely neutral part of being a person #anyway sorry i saw a bad animal crossing post and it reminded me of a rancid person i once knew and now im like >:( #personal #ALSO NOTE: this isn't about people reclaiming the term ugly for themselves #thats a whole other topic and i fully support people reclaiming that term for themselves because I FEEL IT MAN I DO #im talking about a whole other beast (and im sure anyone reclaiming ugly knows exactly what i mean)

[belladonnafleur]

🐸

#.......................................................................................................... #I feel like I deserve It because my body looks bad and I am Bad and everything about me is Bad #like I had a good fucking day why do I feel bad now #im so jealous of anyone who was born into a normal ass body that doesn't look like mine #I hate!! how effeminate I am!! #I hate!! how im a straight man but I look like a little girl #I am constantly worried that everyone thinks that im gay and that that somehow makes me morally wrong!! #nothing wrong w being gay !! if u are gay !! #im just not gay #and I feel like I should be bc of how effeminate I am/feel #I don't get to choose the way that my body looks #or the personality disorders/mental fuckass disabilities that live in my head and control what I do!!!!!! #I feel so ugly!!! I want to be fixed!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I also don't think that I have adhd I think im making it up for attention and im actually a lazy piece of shit #I want to be medicated so bad!!! im so angry!! that I can't be normal no matter what I do!!! #like in my head adhd is just Lazy Bad Person Disease and ik the ppl ik w adhd #aren't lazy and bad #its just that I Am Lazy And Bad #oversharing on the internet bc I don't see my therapist til Monday and all of my friends are asleep!! teehee #need to escape into the place in my head where I am with Her but it is poisoned now bc ik that she doesn't want me and im running out of #delusions to subsist on #I want to be with her but I hate her at the same time #bc why is she so attractive!!!!! and not with anybody!! #I wish I was attractive and ppl wanted me!! #I am so lonely and angry!!! I want to d13!!

[larnax]

btw this blog is a safe space for boring ugly and unsexy trans people. break the stereotype that trans people are all interesting and hot. be your least interesting you. wear only basketball shorts and hand-me-down t-shirts. never put on makeup. never cut your hair or brush it. be a trans person that hot trans people take pictures of to make fun of because they assume you're just a cis person who has failed. stand up to chasers by completely failing to cater to ANY fetishes including theirs. get uglier on hrt. get surgery with really visible scars. you were not put on this earth to please or entertain people

#c.paradisi #when i see a trans man who looks like someones lame boyfriend i say good work soldier #but yeah no seriously you can waste soooooooo much time worrying #about getting uglier or being unfuckable or having a feature people use as a shorthand for being a bad person #and it major league sucks to start hrt and notice your hairlines receding #or youre growing a neckbeard or whatever #it can be weirdly isolating when people are like 'all trans people are hot' and then they describe traits you dont have #or theyre like cis people are so ugly [describes traits you have] #also its fine if you wanna like. id as gnc or some other identity thats associated with high maintenance androgyny #someones lame balding boyfriend in gym shorts with unbrushed hair can be the most special girl in the world #anyway ive decided that whenever i start feeling really shit abt myself because i dont want to put any effort into how i look #ive decided to just fire off one of these posts instead of spending an hour staring at the wall feeling guilty

[the-trans-dragon]

.

#I wonder if the people who are about to allow the bill through its first reading are sleeping soundly. I wonder what they’ll #eat for breakfast. how do they go about getting dressed? do they stare into their sock drawer and feel a terrifying dread about the bill? #are they as afraid of it failing as I am afraid of it passing? #do they at least think they’re doing the right thing? do they think they’re acting for the greater good? #is it just malice in their heart? anger? #do you think they’ll let it through because of adamant passion? do you think they don’t really care and they’re just doing what #they think their friends would like? #will they shrug at any outcome? would they celebrate with friends and handshakes and toasts? if it fails do you think they’ll go home and #weep at the lack of control they have over their world? will they wonder if they should move somewhere more tolerant of their transphobia? #do you think they have a specific trans person in mind as they let the bill through? #are they remembering a specific person? are they thinking ‘this bill needs to pass so my kids don’t end up like that’? #I wonder if they’ve ever been a customer in my store. I wonder if I helped them. I wonder if they took a look at me and #decided ‘I cannot allow this kind of sin to exist.’ what if I motivated them with my upsetting little existence? #I’ve seen so many old men in expensive suits. I’ve embarrassed them by carrying their things to their car because they didn’t realize a GIRL #would show up to do it. how many times have I heard ‘oh YOURE carrying it? I was expending a strapping young man!’ #maybe they just saw me for a moment and thought ‘oh god what an ugly dyke. this is why transgendering should be banned.’? #I don’t understand why they get to make decisions like this for me. It isn’t even a vote. they’ll go to work and do their job: determine #whether I am allowed to exist or not. I’ll go to work and do my job: be a cashier and be nothing else. #they have the power to determine my entire life. I couldn’t even refuse to help them if they came to my job. #maybe they’ll even stop by after work and check out at my register and they’ll be polite for the sake of convenience and I’ll be polite too #and they’ll leave and think ‘thank goodness people #like that won’t be allowed to change their bodies anymore. I hope she’s able to be normal and make a good wife for someone and stop this.’ #sorenhoots

[nyatawia]

Komi can’t communicate hits a little bit too close to home

#im watching the kyoto trip episode and god did i feel like that every single day of my life #im not even a second choice ik for a fact ppl were disappointed to be paired with me #I remember clear as day when one of my classmates asked the teacher why she was stuck with the weirdo #in my case its not just my imagination i faced sm rejection without even trying to approach ppl #when i was a scout girl i was always with the other girls of my age group and one day they asked me why im following them #i couldnt even cry bc there was no place where i could have privacy on that day #and these are my most vivid memories from my middle school years! #i started hating myself and life as soon as i stepped into that school #before that some ppl would dislike me bc i was a foreigner but then i had other friends i could count on #in middle school I literally had no one #i was weird chubby ugly had extreme social anxiety and didnt even answer ppls questions #life was torture #only two very sweet girls accepted me into their group and i would hang out with them sometimes i was so glad i could hang out with someone #during lunch break or whatever #idk why i went on this tangent!!! but yeah this show is bringing back some stuff man #every scene im like same komi same!!! #now im not super popular or anything but im surrounded by nice ppl who care about me and i love spending time with them even though #sometime i still feel that i cant communicate properly😭 #anyways #social anxiety girlies it does get better at some point #i even have the best bf in the world now! before I thought id die alone fr #im not trying to make 100 friends like komi tho i feel like the ones i have are good for now #hfkskg

[soonhoonsol]

did you know that I only excel at one thing and that thing is self-sabotage?

#personal #literally i will hype up every single one of my friends for anything #'YES YOU'LL GET THIS JOB' or 'YAS GIRL YOU GO ASK THAT MAN OUT GO GIRL' #but when it comes to myself I'm all like #'nah i dont deserve this job; the pay is too high for my measely skillset' or 'i don't deserve love I'm too ugly for that' #(sarcastic) depressive thoughts are so fun aren't they!! #anyways what brought this on? #my friends who I haven't seen in a year or so reached out and asked me to hang out for my bday and i was like 'ok!' #but then i had a bad day and asked to postpone it and now the new set date is here and i am AGAIN feeling crappy #so i asked to postpone again 😞😞😞 i feel so bad too cuz like they're taking time out of their day to come meet me bc they wanna see me #but im too stuck in my dumb depressive spiral that i just dont want to go meet them (or any other friend for that matter) #and my mum was like 'dont bother going if you're not sincere about meeting them' and i was like 'yeah u right' #so when will i get out of this episode and actually want to see my friends? idk man could take a few days...months...years?