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fullregalia · 3 years

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20/20.

This year, in hindsight, was a real write-off. I had grand plans for it, and while I ushered it in in a very low-key manner since I was recovering from the flu, I’d expected things to look up. Well, you know what they say about plans (RIP, my trip to Europe). I got very, very sick in early February, and I’m not entirely sure it wasn’t COVID. Since March, the days have been a carousel of monotony: coffee, run, work, cook, yoga, existential spiral, sleep. My Own Private Year of Rest and Relaxation, if you will. Of course, life has a way of breaking through regardless; I attended protests, completed my thesis, graduated from grad school, took a couple of road trips upstate, and celebrated the accomplishments and birthdays of friends and family from a safe social distance. It was all a bit of a blur, and not ideal circumstances to re-enter the real world, or whatever this COVID-present is.

Throughout it all, in lieu of happy hours, coffee dates, and panel discussions, I’ve turned even more to culture and cuisine to fill the the negative space on my calendar where my social life once resided. However, since a global pandemic ought not to disrupt every tradition, here’s my year-end round up of what made this terrible one slightly more tolerable.

After an ascetic fall semester abstaining from TV in 2019 (save for my beloved Succession), I allowed myself to watch more as the year wore on, and especially after graduation. I caught up on some cultural blind spots by finally getting around to The Sopranos, Ramy, Search Party, and Girlfriends. I wasn’t alone in bingeing Sopranos, it absolutely lived up to the hype and then some; this Jersey Girl can’t get enough gabagool-adjacent content, pizzeria culture is my culture!

Speaking of my culture, there was also a disproportionate amount of UK and European shows in my queue. Nothing like being in social isolation and watching the horny Irish teens in Normal People brood. I’m partial to it because I share a surname with the showrunner, so I have to embrace blind loyalty even though there was, in my opinion, a Marianne problem in the casting. Speaking of charming Irish characters with limited emotional vocabularies, I belatedly discovered This Way Up a 2019 show from Aisling Bea and Sharon Horgan. And while Connell and Marianne are actually exceptional students, I found the real normal people on GBBO to bring me a bit more joy. Baking was abundantly therapeutic for me this year, and watching charming people drink loads of tea and fret over soggy bottoms was a comfort. I also discovered the Great Pottery Throw Down, and as a lifelong ceramics enthusiast, I cannot recommend it highly enough if you care about things like slips, coils, and glazing techniques. GPTD embraces wabi sabi in a way that GBBO eschews flaws in favor of perfection, and in a time of uncertainty, the former reminded me why I miss getting my hands in the mud as a coping mechanism (hence all the baking). Speaking of coping mechanisms, like everybody else with two eyes and an HBO password, I loved Michaela Cole’s I May Destroy You; though we’ve all had enough distress this year for a lifetime, watching Cole’s Arabella process her assault and search for meaning, justice, and closure was a compelling portrait of grief and purpose in the aftermath of trauma. Arabella’s creative and patient friends Kwame and Terry steal the show throughout, as they deal with their own setbacks and emotional turmoil. Where I May Destroy You provides catharsis, Ted Lasso presents British eccentricity in all its stereotypical glory. At first I was skeptical of the show’s hype on Twitter, but once I gave in it charmed me, if only for Roy Kent’s emotional trajectory and extolling the restorative powers of shortbread. For a more accurate depiction of life in London, Steve McQueen’s series Small Axe provides a visually lush and politically clear-eyed depiction of the lives of British West Indians in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Lastly, how could I get through a recap of my year in tv if I don’t mention The Crown. Normal People may have needed an intimacy coordinator, but the number of Barbours at Balmoral was the real phonographic content for me.

Turning my attention across the Channel, after the trainwreck that was Emily in Paris, I started watching a proper French show, Call My Agent! It’s truly delightful, and unlike the binge-worthy format of "ambient shows” I have been really relishing taking an hour each week to watch CMA, subtitles, cigarettes, and all.

Honorable mention: The Last Dance for its in-depth look at many notable former Chicago residents; High Fidelity for reminding me of the years in college when my brother and I would drive around listening to Beta Band; and Big Mouth.

Music

My Spotify wrapped this year was a bit odd. I don‘t think “Chromatica II into 911″ is technically a song, so it revealed other things about my listening habits this year, which turned out to remain very much stuck in the last, sonically. I listened to a lot more podcasts than new music this year, but there were some records that found their way into heavy rotation. While I listened to a lot of classics both old and new to write my thesis (Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen, Prokofiev, and Bach) the soundtrack to my coursework, runs, walks, and editing was more contemporary. Standouts include:

Saint Cloud by Waxahatchee, which makes me feel like I’m breathing fresh air even when I’m stuck inside all day

La Bella Vita by Niia, which was there for me when I walked past my ex on 7th avenue (twice!) and he pretended that I didn’t exist

Fetch the Bolt Cutters by THEE Fiona Apple, because Fiona, our social distancing queen, has always been my Talmud, her songs shimmering, evolving, and living with me every year

Shore by Fleet Foxes, for the long drive to the Catskills

Women in Music, Pt. III by HAIM, because these days, these days...

Musicians have been reckoning with tumult this year as much as the rest of us, and the industry has dealt with loss on all fronts. I’d be remiss not to talk about how the passing of John Prine brought his music into my life, and McCoy Tyner, who has been a companion through good and bad over the years.

Honorable mention to: græ by Moses Sumney; The Main Thing by Real Estate; on the tender spot of every calloused moment by Ambrose Akinmusire; Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers; folklore by you know who; and songs by Adrianne Lenker.

Reading

What would this overlong blob be without a list of the best things I read this year? While I left publishing temporarily, books, the news, and newsletters still took up a majority of my attention (duh and/or doomscrolling by any other name). I can’t be comprehensive, and frankly, there are already great roundups of the best longform this year out there, so this is mostly books and praising random writers.

Last year I wrote about peak newsletter. Apparently, my prediction was a bit premature as this year saw an even bigger Substack Boom. But two new newsletters in particular have delighted me: Aminatou Sow’s Crème de la Crème and Hunter Harris’ Hung Up (her ”this one line” series is true force of chaotic good on Blue Ivy’s internet). Relatedly, Sow and Ann Friedman’s Big Friendship was gifted to me by a dear friend and another bff and I are going to read it in tandem next week.

On the “Barack Obama published a 700+ page memoir, crippling the printing industry’s supply chains” front, grad school severely hamstrung my ability to read for pleasure, but I managed to get through almost 30 books this year, some old (Master and Margarita), most new-ish (Say Nothing, Nickel Boys). Four 2020 books in particular enthralled me:

Uncanny Valley: Anna Wiener’s memoir has been buzzed about since n+1 published her essay of the same name in 2016. Her ability to see, clear-eyed, the industry for both its foibles and allure captured that era when the excess and solipsism of the Valley seemed more of a cultural quirk than the harbinger of societal schism.

Transcendent Kingdom: Yaa Gyasi’s novel about faith, family, loss, and--naturally--grad school was deeply empathetic, relatable, and moving. I think this was my favorite book of the year. Following the life of a Ghanaian family that settles in Alabama, it captured the kind of emotional ennui that comes from having one foot in the belief of childhood and one foot in the bewilderment that comes from losing faith in the aftermath of tragedy.

Vanishing Half: Similarly to Transcendent Kingdom, Brit Bennett’s novel about siblings who are separated; it’s also about the ways that colorism can be internalized and the ways chosen family can (and cannot) replace your real kin. It was a compassionate story that captured the pain of abuse and abandonment in two pages in a way that Hanya Yanagihara couldn’t do in 720.

Dessert Person: Ok, so this is a cookbook, but it’s a good read, and the recipes are approachable and delicious. After all the BA Test Kitchen chaos this summer, it’s nice we didn’t have to cancel Claire. Make the thrice baked rye cookies!!!! You will thank me later.

Honorable mention goes to: Leave The World Behind for hitting the Severance/Station Eleven dystopian apocalypse novel sweet spot; Exciting Times for reminding me why I liked Sally Rooney; and Summer by Ali Smith, which wasn’t the strongest of the seasonal quartet, but was a series I enjoyed for two years.

Podcasts

I’m saving my most enthusiastic section for last: ever since 2018, I’ve been listening to an embarrassing amount of podcasts. Moving into a studio apartment will do that to you, as will grad school, add a pandemic to that equation and there’s a lot of time to fill with what has sort of become white noise to me (or, in one case, nice white parents noise). In addition to the shows that I’ve written about before (Still Processing, Popcast, Who? Weekly, and Why is This Happening?), these are the shows I started listening to this year that fueled my parasocial fire:

You’re Wrong About: If you like history, hate patriarchy, and are a millennial, you’ll love Sarah Marshall and Michael Hobbes’ deep dives into the most notable stories of the past few decades (think Enron and Princess Diana) and also some other cultural flashpoints that briefly but memorably shaped the national discourse (think Terri Schiavo, Elian González, and the Duke Lacrosse rape case).

Home Cooking: This mini series started (and ended) during the pandemic. As someone who stress baked her way through the past nine months, Samin Nosrat and Hrishikesh Hirway’s show is filled with warmth, banter, and useful advice. Home Cooking has been a reassuring companion in the kitchen, and even though it will be a time capsule once we’re all vaccinated and close talking again, it’s still worth a listen for tips and inspiration while we’re hunkered down for the time being.

How Long Gone: I don’t really know how to explain this other than saying that media twitter broke my brain and enjoying Chris Black and Jason Stewart’s ridiculous banter is the price I pay for it.

Blank Check: Blank Check is like the GBBO of podcasts--Griffin Newman and David Sims’ enthusiasm for and encyclopedic knowledge of film, combined with their hilarious guests and inevitable cultural tangents is always a welcome distraction. Exploring a different film from a director’s oeuvre each week over the course of months, the podcast delves into careers and creative decisions with the passion of completists who want to honor the filmmaking process even when the finished products end up falling short. The Nancy Meyers and Norah Ephron series were favorites because I’d seen most of the movies, but I also have been enjoying the Robert Zemeckis episodes they’re doing right now. The possibility of Soderbergh comes up often (The Big Picture just did a nice episode about/with him), and I’d love to hear them talk about his movies or Spike Lee (or, obviously, Martin Scorsese).

Odds & Ends

If you’re still reading this, you’re a real one, so let’s get into the fun stuff. This was a horrible way to start a new decade, but at least we ended our long national nightmare. We got an excellent dumb twitter meme. I obviously made banana bread, got into home made nut butters, and baked an obscene amount of granola as I try to manifest a future where I own a Subaru Outback. Amanda Mull answered every question I had about Why [Insert Quarantine Trend] Happens. My brother started an organization that is working to eliminate food insecurity in LA. Discovering the Down Dog app allowed me to stay moderately sane, despite busting both of my knees in separate stupid falls on the criminally messed up sidewalks and streets of Philadelphia. I can’t stop burning these candles. Jim Carrey confused us all. We have a Jewish Second Gentleman! Grub Street Diets continued to spark joy. Dolly Parton remains America’s Sweetheart (and possible vaccine savior). And, last, but certainly not least: no one still knows how to pronounce X Æ A-12 Boucher-Musk.

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beekeepingangel · 5 years

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15x03 RANT, CAS AND DEAN’S RELATIONSHIP, AND THE SAM OF IT ALL.

I was talking about spn on my other blog and got this ask about Dean’s actions towards Cas lately and I clearly had A LOT to say about it, so thought I’d post it here as my 1st official post, since that ended up fueling the creation of this blog. Thanks @cookiesand-lemonade for sending that ask. Now bear with me while I overanalyze the shit out of last week’s episode.

I get Dean is going through his own shit, Jack just killed his mother a few days ago, God turned out to be bad, and the mind-fucking realization that their entire lives has been all for God’s entertainment and to add a “drama factor” to his “favourite show” hit him like a truck. I get he is angry, I get this is all too much, I get this is Dean Winchester’s way of dealing with things/feelings. Which is, basically, not really dealing with it. And taking it out on ppl who don’t actually deserve it.

In my honest opinion, Cas didn’t do anything that bad. What would’ve mattered if he had told them abt Jack killing the snake? Sure it was odd, and a little creepy, but then again Dean himself tried to check whether Jack was good or bad using angel’s/devil’s food cake. They all weren’t sure, they all didn’t REALLY know it.

In all occasions, even in the very dim, no-way-out times, Cas has stood by him. Cas rebelled for him, throwed all his beliefs in the trash for him. Imo Cas is very deeply in love with Dean (but that’s even besides the point here). He has done everything, given everything, he has brought Dean back from irreversible fates way too many times, has talked him out of sacrifice too many other more. And he has even been there when he knew Dean’s choices weren’t the best, even when plans weren’t always the right choice.

So it makes me so upset that after 10 years of this, Dean is being such a dick to Cas. Cas absolutely does not deserve it. I love Dean, I really do, and I get why he’s acting this way, why he always has. But this doesn’t justify it or make it right. He ought to realize that.

Imo, Dean didn’t expect Cas to leave. He’s treated Cas like shit before, way too many times, and Cas has always still stood there by his side, refusing to leave. “Everyone you love will be long gone, except me” is an incredible proof of that. He never had any plans of leaving Dean’s side even though he was a murderous psycopath at that time (with the mark of Cain).

And again imo, Dean got used to pushing Cas’s buttons too much, gotted used to the idea that even tho Dean Winchester hurts the ones he loves and pushes them away, Cas was the exception, because time and time again he made it known that he would never leave, no matter what.

But this is too much. Cas lost his son, Cas lost his father, Cas realized he’s an angel of an asshole lord and his entire faith system is a lie, he recently found out his powers are failing. Dean isn’t the only one suffering here. Cas is suffering, Sam is suffering, this is all just a big pile of suffering.

Cas tries to talk to Dean, so many times. It’s absurd to me that Dean won’t even ask what happened in hell, what Cas had to do. Burning his son’s corpse to a crisp must have been a very traumatic ordeal. Dean didn’t even seem to think of that. Cas tells him his powers are failing, and I think at this point this hits Dean, but he’s too angry to show he cares. So he lets Cas leave, because it’s easier, he doesn’t have to talk feelings, and because that confirms the rule that’s been etched in his brain since he was a child: everyone leaves him, he hurts everyone he loves.

The fact Dean says that when something goes wrong, it’s always Cas, is SO WRONG. He couldn’t be more wrong. They’ve all made mistakes and changed plans last minute. And I think this confirms Cas’s deepest fear, that he’s only needed by the Winchesters when he can be useful. That he’s not wanted around when he isn’t. And to me, Cas did the only possible thing he could after that. He left, because how much longer should he be apologising and chasing after Dean? Dean said the absurd and terrible words “you’re dead to me”, and that, you don’t just fix that by ignoring it.

Now this is more my own take as a Destiel shipper, but to me, that was a classic hurtful breakup scene. Cas says it’s time to move on, Dean doesn’t stop him from leaving (he definitely should’ve), but when Cas actually walks away, Dean can’t help but looking up at him leaving, and I think at that moment he KNOWS he fucked up. So whatever the writers do with that, it’s up to them. But I don’t see a way for them to reconcile without Dean going after Cas and apologising and winning him back. Cas deserves that much.

And finally, there’s the Sam in all this. He’s dealing with his own issues, but he loves Cas, he hasn’t been mad with Cas like Dean has. Sam has always been more rational in times like these, and I feel like he will - or at least he should - have a lot to say about Cas leaving, about Dean letting Cas leave. I guess we’ll see how this works out.

Wow literally thanks for coming to my ted talk this has been a giant essay, I’m sorry I put you through this.

TL;DR: I understand where Dean’s coming from, I don’t agree with it and he’s being an asshole to Cas, who doesn’t deserve it. He gotta chase after Cas and make it right.

#supernatural #spn #spn 15x03 #spn meta #destiel #deancas #spn spoilers #bubble rambles

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hatari-translations · 5 years

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Griðastaður - 2017 draft version

So, before there was award-winning play Griðastaður starring Jörundur Ragnarsson, there was an early draft read by Hákon Jóhannesson, better known as Hákon from Iceland Music News (presumably, he was studying acting at the Academy of the Arts at the same time as Matthías was studying playwriting). Because it’s fun, I’m going to compare this early version to the final product! It’s the same core idea and significant chunks are very similar, but there were also a lot of interesting changes made between this 2017 draft and the final version, overwhelmingly for the better in my opinion.

(Scroll down to the “Thoughts” section below the cut if you just want to hear the overall summary, as opposed to me very lengthily laying out all the noteworthy changes because wow there were more changes than I realized.)

What Changed

The first thing to note is that the early version starts with Lárus’s phone conversation with his mother. The entire opening, with Lárus preparing for a meeting, explaining his relationship with IKEA and how he came to IKEA this one particular morning when he woke up with a guilty conscience, just isn’t there, though a small part of it is implemented after the phone call. I expect in part it was expanded to make for a more substantial play, but the opening of the final version also contains some fun/interesting bits of setup or foreshadowing for later: Lárus ends up backtracking on telling the meeting attendees to turn off their mobile phones, saying they can keep them on if they’ve got kids or moms (turns out it’s because he missed the notifications when his mom was dying), he mentions the Securitas guy isn’t going to have a problem with them staying late, and the weird little tangent about the IKEA flags serves to set up the flag-bearer who rescues him at the end.

This also means that in the early draft, him having to tell his mom that he’s just in IKEA because it’s his sanctuary and he's not there to buy anything is how the audience actually learns he’s in IKEA.

After the phone call, he says “I often have nightmares. (That was my mom.)” He explains that there’s a void inside of him, which he tries to fill with chocolate or Netflix subscriptions, but that gives him this guilty conscience, which then calls for more chocolate or thoughtful status updates or “neat patterned socks” - or, as he’s been doing increasingly recently, carefully evaluating the selection available at Swedish megastore IKEA. He wakes up with a guilty conscience, and makes coffee according to the guilt that he’s feeling. Then he explains about heading to Garðabær, the eco-labeled house, and going to IKEA and spending whole days there, and then we go on to, more or less, the section that follows the phone conversation in the final version.

When recounting the things he’s going to leave behind, he mentions a facial soap that he bought and used and now misses, which I thought was kind of a fun little detail.

The deodorant story is rearranged a little in the final version; in the draft version he talks about how he doesn’t know Chinese and would never be able to say any of this to the Chinese guy before he actually imagines the man’s response. He says he can’t even tell his brother what he thinks of him, or talk to his mom; the brother’s gone in the final version (makes sense, since the brother is never mentioned again and has nothing to do with anything). When pleading with the Chinese man, he suggests the chemicals are produced in really toxic conditions like maybe where he works, not where his sister did.

At the end of the deodorant story, as he asks the Chinese man to help him understand, he moves straight from there to shouting about spiders, as if he’s imagining the spiders attacking while he’s trying to talk to the Chinese guy! I kind of like that, compared to the final version where these bits are separated and don’t feel connected, and Hákon doesn’t play it in this very deliberately fake voice, instead just coming off more like he got carried away with this imaginary scenario. The thing he sprays on the spiders is the Nike Xtreme Men Edition deodorant that the Chinese guy was using. Afterwards, he says this story, which he dreamt once, is only one of his many go-to stories.

The bit on B-products isn’t there, nor is the fake PowerPoint, but he still talks about discounts, quality of life, etc. When talking about how stuff pollutes, he includes property rights, “which aren’t going anywhere”.

In the draft version, the IKEA employee really does compliment Lárus on his contemplation on environmentalism, where in the final version Lárus merely imagines the employee tells him that. Lárus thanks the employee, says IKEA is his sanctuary and if there is any place where he can cry it’s in IKEA, and then the employee goes “You’ve been in the bathroom department since we opened.” In the final version Lárus sounds defensive and awkward about this, but here he just sounds like nothing is more natural. When the employee asks if Lárus is looking for anything, he says “Well, aren’t we all looking for something? Haven’t we all been in the bathroom department since it opened, ever since we were born?!” The employee goes “Yeah, sure, but are you looking for anything special?”, which prompts Lárus to realize he’s going to try to sell him something, at which point Lárus goes off on another rant about how they’re here in the Mecca of disposable crap and he’d be even worse than the Chinese guy from the story if he bought stuff - upon which the employee asks what all the disinfectant he’s bought was for (showing that yeah, he literally launched into that whole rant within earshot of the employee), and from there persuades him that if he could buy 34 bottles of disinfectant he might as well buy this Silverån mirror cabinet without significantly depleting the Earth’s resources, and it’s really convenient and easy to clean, and then Lárus asks if he can put his toothbrush in it, etc. I’ll just translate how that whole conversation plays out, because it’s got a pretty different feel to it:

“So could I store my toothbrush in it, for example?”

“Sure.”

“How many?”

“As many as you like.”

“And toothpaste? How many tubes of toothpaste?”

“As many as you like.”

“200 tubes of toothpaste?”

“Yeah, if you like.”

“How about deodorant, eco-labeled?”

“Eco-labeled? Sure.”

“What about chocolate and popcorn and olive oil?”

“Yup, whatever you like.”

“Essays and books? Das Kapital, for example?”

“I-I’ve actually got better cabinets for that.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, you can put anything in that one.”

“Medicine?”

“Yes, absolutely!”

“Mom?”

“...N-no?”

“My mom is chronically ill in the hospital.”

[The employee makes a tiny awkward grunt]

“Dental floss?”

“Sure, sure.”

“Mouthwash?”

“Yeah, yeah, uh, sorry about your mom.”

“Self-respect?”

“Huh?”

“Can this cabinet assure me that I’ll see her again?”

“Who? It’s just a cabinet!”

“Uh-huh. Disinfectant and band-aids? The contradiction inherent in my lifestyle and my fundamental beliefs?”

“Yeah, yeah, disinfectant, whatever, maybe not 34 bottles, that’s an excessive amount of disinfectant, and sorry about your mom.”

And then the employee says actually he needs to help other customers and he’ll write it down. All in all, this whole encounter is a lot more parodesque and weird, the employee is a more absurd, comical character, and Lárus is more condescending and actively hostile, where in the final version the employee feels very much like a real, ordinary person, and Lárus makes it a bit awkward by bringing up his mom but is a lot more sympathetic and keeps his annoyance at the employee to himself. I think this is a really solid change; the draft version is amusing but Lárus just comes off as kind of an annoying dick in it and it’s hard to come away from this actually caring about his relationship with his mother.

The following sequence, where he goes down to get the cabinet and finds they’re all gone and then his phone chimes with the text about his mom being dead, is very similar, although it’s been fleshed out a bit with some details in the final version.

When he’s been hiding in the warehouse for those six hours, he “feels something break - and it’s not the Billy shelves”. Definitely a good call losing that joke; in the final thing he totally pulls off this sequence as a serious moment where you actually feel sorry for him, but in the draft this keeps it fairly ridiculous.

The security guard scene is very similar, but in the middle of it he throws in a “This is all imaginary, come on.” Good call losing that too! This little emotional breakdown into twisted violent power fantasy is my favorite part of the play, and he ought to be far too worked up here to have the self-awareness to remind the audience this isn’t really happening. Hákon punches the script as he beats the guard half to death, though, which is amusing.

When he goes back to the cafeteria and there’s no hot food, he specifically states that he imagines they’ve thrown it all away, rather than sounding like he genuinely assumes this is the case. Again, I think the final version works better; he’s still in this supremely agitated emotional state, and it’s far better conveyed if he sounds like he really believes what he’s saying, even if he is telling this story at a later point. He also doesn’t take the bathroom break where he starts to calm down and catch his breath; he just immediately notices the salads and heads on up to his favorite staged bathroom. When he says “I’ve always dreamed about doing this”, he adds, “staying the whole night at IKEA.”

In the draft version, the rant to his mom about how everyone dies keeps noting, both at the start and throughout the first half of it, that he didn’t actually literally say this to her. I think the final version, where he says that whole rant and only then admits he didn’t actually say it, works better, especially since it’s set up by the previous encounter with the employee where he does the same thing. He also doesn’t say “I love you” at the end, which in the final version really lends that extra punch to it when he follows it with “...No, I didn’t say that to her.”

The whole bit with him imagining another meeting with the Chinese guy, his sister the marine biologist and the turtle and them coming to a mutual understanding, isn’t there in the draft; the Chinese guy doesn’t come back at all, much less parallel Lárus’s sense of loss the way he does in the final version. We just pretty much go straight from the everyone dies rant to Guðrún arriving, and she’s just a random employee rather than the person who raises the flags (I don’t think the flag introduction in the final version is entirely elegant, but the presence of that setup is nice narratively).

The part with them visiting his mother’s grave and the exchange ending with “Mortality is a staged bathroom” is more or less the same, but again, we don’t get the “No, she didn’t actually say that”, or the entire following paragraph talking about all the kinds of people at IKEA who are going to die.

Then the final bit about how Guðrún led him down the escalator is there but a bit shorter, and then Lárus proudly presents the first eco-labeled cabinet at IKEA. We don’t get the bit about how none of this makes sense because there aren’t two escalators facing each other at the IKEA in Garðabær. I am convinced this is because somebody who frequents IKEA watched the workshop performance, came to Matthías and pointed out that it didn’t make sense, and he just brazenly decided to have Lárus address the complaint in the play instead of ditching the escalator scene. Amazing.

Thoughts

Overall, the tone of the play and the character of Lárus comes across differently in the draft version. It’s more of a straight dark comedy, and accordingly, Lárus is basically an unsympathetic comedy protagonist archetype. Hákon really plays him that way, too, primarily angry and indignant and pretentious.

In between the two versions, Matthías (or one of his instructors, or someone else who commented) realized that Lárus could actually work as a sympathetic character: he’s pretty eccentric and obsessed with IKEA, sure, but he’s also just lonely and repressed and goofily imaginative and overwhelmed by everything and worried about his sick mom, and by fleshing things out and editing various details and just playing him differently, we could genuinely feel for him when he learns his mom is dead and breaks down and crawls into the shelves at IKEA - which makes for a way better play than if we just can’t stand him. Jörundur plays him as awkward, nervous, constantly second-guessing himself, bad at expressing any of the things he’s thinking, and for all his eccentricities you just care about him and can follow his emotional journey, or at least the most important section of it.

The final version also just ties various things together better, bringing things from earlier back later and so on. I don’t think it’s 100% successful at being a satisfying narrative, but it’s a lot more so than the draft version, which is largely just an amusing ramble describing events that don’t seem to be in much of any coherent relationship with one another.

All in all, it really shows that Matthías spent a lot of time and care improving the play since the draft, which I, possibly the biggest nerd about revisions and adaptations that I know, think is pretty cool.

#griðastaður #matthías tryggvi haraldsson #translation #I WROTE A WAY LONGER POST ON THIS THAN I MEANT TO #I am sorry #I don't know who I'm apologizing to but somebody needs an apology for this

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pitchannawarmsourblackhearts · 5 years

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3: teacher/ student AU (PitchxAnna) obliviously

Sorry it’s late!

(Pitch’s name is changed to Cosimo because it’s so close to Kozmotis and I like the idea that he would be Italian/half Italian if he were human, since his lair is in Italy )

“Did you have something to add, Anna?” Cosimo inquired of his young aide, keeping the usual aloofness out of his voice.

That afternoon he had been finishing up explaining mind-body dualism to the class. Many looked interested; a couple students were on their phones, but he didn’t mind.Of course he didn’t normally call on his teaching assistant, but a look had grown on her face, one that meant she didn’t agree with whatever the subject was about. Anna was brilliant, but she sometimes forgot she was supposed to remain objective. She had an opinion on almost everything. Which would be wonderful if she were actually one of the students.

“Well,” she ventured, “This doesn’t sound like a healthy belief. Doesn’t separating the mind from the body so much make us, like, robots?”

He deigned to show a smile in front of the class. “Are you a materialist?”

“I’m an idealist,” she answered, chin slightly in the air.

Before he could make a retort to that, a harsh alarm rang out. He’d almost forgotten the fire drill scheduled that day. He wasn’t that sorry to be interrupted. He tried to let his students arrive to their own conclusions about the concepts he taught, but this one wasn’t his favorite. A pity, though; he would have liked to hear more of what Anna had to say. He always did.

He picked up his black jacket and glanced at the clock near the door. Still ten minutes left. His students had started to get up and put their things away. “All right, this way,” he told them, heading out the door and down the hall. “Doubt we’ll need to come back to class, but remember there’s a quiz Tuesday. Study or don’t at your own peril.”

He saw Anna trying to catch up with him and slowed so they could walk together. They talked about the lecture and what she thought of it.

Her devil-may-care attitude belied the hardworking spirit underneath it, that patiently answered the silliest of questions their students asked while Cosimo would struggle to not roll his eyes at them. He had been given the use of one of the mustiest, coldest rooms, and while he didn’t mind the natural melancholy it gave off, he could not deny that Anna had a pleasing way of airing it out with her bright presence, as if all the windows had been opened to allow spring to clear out the dust from everyone’s lungs and sink the room in sunrays.

He was half Italian, half English, raised near London, while he knew she came from old money in Norway. They both enjoyed residing in America, but a sort of kinship was formed from their outsider status and occasional homesickness. He didn’t know how to tell her so without feeling awkward, but she had become the best part of his teaching days.

He pondered over Anna as she chatted away, the two of them exiting the building.The weather channel had promised a week of warm sunshine, but it had rained a short while ago that afternoon, and brought the temperature down surprisingly low for a spring day. He wasn’t one to mind the chill. He glanced over at Anna.

She stood on the sidewalk in white sneakers and a little yellow sundress with flowers scattered all over it. Anna had a never-ending supply of dresses, but he didn’t think he’d seen this one before. The misty gray of the rain didn’t dim her in the slightest in it.

“Why, why did it have to rain today?” She whined, shivering in the cold with her arms crossed over her chest. It had stopped raining but the temperature hadn’t risen. Apparently the dress wasn’t as warm as its color. “I had to wait all month for a nice day to finally wear this dress!”

“You’re always glued to that phone. Does it never occur to you to just Google the weather?”

“No,” she confessed sheepishly. “Not when it was as sunny out as it was this morning. And I have a jacket in the classroom, I just forgot to grab it.”

Without a word, he took off his well-tailored jacket and handed it to her.

She eyed him for a second. “Won’t you be cold?”

“The classroom isn’t much warmer. I don’t mind the cold and obviously you do. Take it.”

Anna thanked him and accepted it meekly, but could hardly hide the grin growing onher face. She shrugged into it. Cosimo was thin as a rail, though with his broad shoulders and long torso it still hung a bit loosely on her. She didn’t care; she’d never worn anything of his and was elated to now. It was such a boyfriend move. She loved the cologne he wore mixed with his natural musk, but couldn’t very well smell his jacket in front of him without looking like a creep.

The bell rang once more, and Cosimo looked at his watch. Class was pretty much over. Students and faculty alike began to meander back into the building. Some stayed and talked for a while or went to their cars, done for the day and eager to get to their weekend fun. The drill had taken up the rest of their classtime; no reason to head back to their classes except to gather their things left behind.

Didn’t sound like a bad idea to him, but he had a pile of essays to go over before he could even think of leaving campus. It was easier to power through it all inhis office and not drag it out at home.

Anna, who had stayed behind with him, had other plans.

“Do you feel like doing anything before you start grading?”

He started to head back inside. “Grading is all I plan to do, actually.” Anna would always ask to do things with him after work and he would pretend he couldn’t. It was the waltz they always did together.

She started after him. “I meant, like, as a date?” She hoped her eagerness wasn’t written all over her face, but she couldn’t help but bounce on her feet a little.

He stopped and turned towards her. She had never outright used the word date. “I’ve got more than enough to work on, and you still need to finish grading those quizzes for me.”

“I already did. Maybe you could get them back at that Mexican place I told you about before.” She smiled. Her impudence knew no bounds.

He said nothing for a moment, heart pounding. Rejecting her was getting old, but he didn’t think he ought to accept. “Anna, I still have over forty essays to finish grading by Monday. You know that.”

“Okay, we’ll order in. Do you feel like calzones or Chinese? Whatever, we’ll decide later. And you don’t even have to leave school if you don’t want to. I’ll stayand help you finish grading. That’s what I’m here for, you know.” She sounded so pleased with herself, as if she had him boxed in with no way out, trapped in her grasp.

Trapped with Anna. The thought almost made him laugh out loud. Not a bad fate as far as they go.

“Anna, your generosity is appreciated, but it’s Friday. You’d rather be with your friends than-”

“Spending an ugly day inside having dinner with the best professor in the universe so his workload doesn’t kill him? My friends have their own plans anyway.” Truthfully,in the whole duration of her stay in America, she had only made a few acquaintances that were fun to study with, but all were too busy in their own work to get closer.

Cosimo had been the one true friend she’d made, the one who kept her from feeling small and alone in this big adventure she’d set out to have. He could be as sharp and unfeeling as he liked to everyone else, but he never was with her. She liked how different they were, how he made her feel more at home studying abroad than she did back in that cold, lonely mansion. She couldn’t repay him enough for that.

She stared at him expectantly. He had no good reason to reject her kind offer. He had tried for a whole school year to not let his personal feelings make their jobs awkward, rebuffing any suggestions to do something together after class Anna made that sounded more than platonic. He hated doing it and hated even more seeing her excitement deflate when he did. Even holding some authority herself over the classes, Anna was still a student herself, and he didn’t wish to make either of them look bad by pushing something romantic between them.

In truth, it was entirely her doing the pushing. It was not the first time she tried to make sure he’d eaten. She’d stop and talk to him after his lectures every day unless she had an exam to study for in some class of hers. Bring him coffee if she thought he looked tired. Tell him about growing up in Norway, about her older sister who’d followed their parents’ footsteps in a political career, and ask him about his childhood, what England was like, how he liked it here, as if she couldn’t learn enough about him.

Cosimo held no delusions that he was a nice man. His natural tendency was to remain a detached observer wherever he went, usually only interacting with others to offer a sarcastic remark. Some found him amusing for this, but many didn’t. This sheltered rich girl had come along with her upbeat nature and pretty smiles and somehow found it in her to like him anyway. He never felt that he deserved Anna or her stubborn sweetness,but perhaps it was time to act like he appreciated her for it.

“All right,” he finally said, defeated, and trying hard to look it as her face lit up. “You win. Let’s go back.” He reached for his jacket.

“Oh, no,” she laughed, backing away from him. “I’m not giving this back. Consider this payback for making me wait two semesters for a date." She wrapped his jacket around herself tightly, as if to shield herself from any attacks on his part.

“Hope you don’t plan to keep it permanently.” They started walking back inside.

“All your jackets are black, Cos. You won't miss this one.”

“I still want it back.” Besides, he liked the dress. The jacket hid so much of it.

"Okay, then. We’ll have another dinner date tomorrow and I’ll give it back then. Fair?”

He pretended to glare at her. “I suppose I don’t have a choice with you, do I?”

Anna couldn’t hide her joy. She’d waited so long. He had to know she liked him as more than a friend, and she knew he liked her too, even if wouldn’t say so.

She walked through the office door he held open for her and pulled the jacket around her shoulders, smug. “But I admit… I’m pretty tempted to keep it anyway.”

“What would you need it for? You probably have more jackets than I have articles of clothing entirely.”

“I wore it and it got me a date with you,” she pointed out. “Must be lucky.” Just dinner and essays, but she was ecstatic.

“Tell you what,” he stood in the doorway with her, bending down to bring his face closer to her’s. “Give it back or don’t, but you’re an excellent aide, and… and person. I’ll havedinner with you every week.” Her bewilderment must have shown on her face, because he laughed when she didn’t respond.

Seriously, she thought to herself. I am never giving this back now.

#pitchanna #anna #pitch black #fanfiction #my fic #everydreamcancometrueworld #teacher student au #pitchanna au #princess anna #kozmotis pitchiner #frozen au #rotg au #otp prompts #rise of the brave tangled dragons #in which pitch is a hot professor #but... emotionally awkward

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madscientistjournal · 5 years

Text

Fiction: Excerpts From the Audio Notes

An essay by Jim Dennath, P. (Eldritch) E., as provided by Jonathan Ficke Art by Leigh Legler

Day 1

Finally, a place where my desire to dream beyond the bounds of what a rational engineer may dream, to build that which ought never be built, to be the mad engineer that breaks down barriers, and possibly ends the world–Fimbulvetr Industries. I confess that I saw their job posting and sent my résumé to them on a lark–who would have thought that the premiere apocalyptic science and engineering conglomerate would want me? But they did, so here I am walking the austere gunmetal hallways, seeing the laboratories where the cutting edge of apocalyptic science is conducted. And everything is so clean! It’s the platonic form of Nordic design. I couldn’t imagine a better place to undergo hours of trite human resources onboarding nonsense.

At least they have a slogan: Building a Better End of Days, Today.

It’s perfect.

Fimbulvetr is not screwing around. I’ve been here a day and have access to the development lab of my dreams. Good devils below, there’s an entire team of assistants at my beck and call. The job is simple–as simple as engineering a possibly world-ending device is concerned that is–build a device to create a stable planar gateway to the nether realm to allow the creatures of the dark beyond access to the mortal plane of existence.

Should be fun!

Turns out the ancient Assyrians were super into the nether realm. The Fimbulvetr archives have hundreds of original clay tablets recovered (read: stolen or plundered) from archaeological sites across the Levant. As it so happens, however, I cannot read cuneiform.

Good news, though! Ivan, a twitchy Russian ex-pat with an eyepatch, has been the most useful in that regard. He tells me he studied and taught ancient languages at a university in Kiev, stumbled on something he’s only muttered about as “the impossible realities,” and they fired him for gibbering too much during lectures. Their loss is my gain.

There’s also a linguist to help interpret the texts, Bernice, an Alabaman with absolutely the sweetest accent and the keenest eye for the dark logic employed by the forces of darkness. Who would have imagined that demons employed passive aggressive language? When I expressed my disbelief, Bernice said “bless your heart,” and told me it makes her feel right at home. What a lovely person.

With Ivan and Bernice’s help, the task came into focus. We have a great deal of work ahead of us.

There’s also Jeffrey. He doesn’t talk much, and near as I can tell, he’s mainly here to pick up heavy things at my direction. He does so at a languid pace. He must be hourly.

Day 3

This was prototyping day. Based on Ivan’s translations, and Bernice’s helpful interpretation of archaic Assyrian linguistics, we needed both a lot of eldritch energy and a focusing medium to stretch the planar gate across.

First thing first, we measure eldritch energy in crowleys, like proper modern folk who are concerned with repeatable design. Ancient Assyrians? No such luck. They simply killed an absolutely mind-boggling number of people until they got what they wanted. I’m honestly a little impressed by their can-do attitude. It worked for them, so what grounds do I have to criticize? I can, however, complain that it makes their cuneiform tablets as hard to use as blueprints in a modern workshop.

Anyway, since we don’t know exactly how many crowleys we need, I’m ball parking the sum at: a lot of crowleys.

Also, we need something to channel the crowleys into a cascading web of interconnecting focus points–essentially a matrix of dark energy that can fray the boundary between our world and the eldritch void we seek to contact. The ancient Assyrians came up with an answer for this too. That answer is femurs. We need a lot of femurs.

If we need a lot of femurs, then we’re going to need a lot of volunteers. After all, each one can only contribute two femurs, and we’re going to need twenty-three femurs. That means approximately twelve volunteers, assuming our pool of volunteers does not include too many above-the-knee amputees or people with low bone density. This might be tricky.

Day 4

Not that tricky! You know what was tricky? Getting Jeffrey to gather all of the human thighs and separate the meat from the bones. It was a simple request, Jeffrey!

But, I digress. Did you know there’s a group of people on the internet who call themselves “thigh enthusiasts?” Naturally, I gravitated toward this group of people, as I figured that anyone so enthusiastic about thighs would likely have high quality femurs.

This was not, in fact, the case. The yield of quality femurs from a single thigh enthusiast, which one could reasonably assume be close to, if not precisely, two femurs, is actually much closer to 1.1 per enthusiast. Most are men in their thirties; how is their bone structure and density so bad? What comprises their diet that they have the bone density of an elderly person with a severe calcium deficiency? This is, of course, not the question I’ve been hired to solve. It must remain a mystery for another day.

What we lacked in quality, we were able to make up for in quantity. Thigh enthusiasts are an easily baited group. Promise an internet message board an abundance of thighs, and like ten grand each, and boom, even with the comically low femur yield, I’ve got all the femurs an engineer could possibly desire. Really, it’s almost a problem. I’ve practically got too many femurs. Jeffrey certainly thinks we have too many femurs, but that is a Jeffrey problem.

So, with a massive stockpile of femurs at our disposal, it’s time to begin constructing a web of twenty-three femurs arranged in a circle with a radius precisely calibrated to focus crowleys!

Day 6

Well, I’ve summoned a demon. More on this later. At least I won’t have to worry about Jeffrey slacking anymore. More on this later as well.

I rate this experience as a qualified success.

Day 7

Good news! We’ve sealed the demon in my original development lab. Fimbulvetr has given me a new workshop. It’s buried farther underground.

The boys upstairs have also given me a squad of armed guards at all times. Hans Jürgen leads the team of barrel-chested men with assault rifles and bandoliers of grenades. Seems a touch of overkill, but it wouldn’t do to have a demon ruthlessly dismember a useful member of the team.

(Oh … right, Jeffrey was–literally–pulled limb from limb by a seven-armed reptilian beast with eleven mouths and three wings. As it happens, and this would be a subject better suited for a mad evolutionary biologist, demons have very strange anatomy.)

In any case, we have a very solid prototype planar gateway generator in existence. No idea how to control it. No way to manage what passes through. No clue what’s on the other side, and the boys upstairs tell me it’s not nearly big enough.

On account of me not being dead, I am willing to increase my assessment of this situation from qualified success to moderate success.

Add in Jeffrey’s demise and we might be flirting with major success territory.

Day 5

Yes, out of chronological order, but I was far too busy fleeing a rampaging hell beast to take proper notes on the actual Day 5. So let’s all be aware that it was recorded on Day 7, but ought to slot in at Day 5. Deal? Deal.

So, get this, turns out virgins, not super effective conduits of eldritch power. I know, really came out of left field to me too. It’s all you ever read about: virgin sacrifice this, the world’s running out of eligible virgins that. Guess what, virgins, you’re not that special!

Turns out, the sanguineous humors of debauched people–now that’s the blood you want to charge a planar gate. So we threw an orgy. Well, we advertised an orgy, lit some candles, provided massage oils and a room full of impractically sized pillows, and once we had a room full of good old-fashioned debauchery underway, that’s when we threw a massacre. It was all very efficient.

I was able to capture thirteen crowleys of spiritual energy in the blood agony harvester (which we constructed mostly from tibias and fibulas, the ancient Assyrians–a very efficient people when it came to human sacrifice–were big on using every part of the sacrificial victim, particularly leg bones). Granted, we’re still getting a handle on precisely how many crowleys of energy will be necessary to sustain a transplanar crossing, but I figured what we had was a good first effort.

Naturally, excited as I was from that success, I couldn’t help but turn to my assembled femur matrix and plug in all that sweet human suffering. It worked, and after experiencing the fabric of realty shred before my eyes, and hearing the distilled shriek of millions of disembodied souls, a demon ripped through the planar gate and started absolutely taking Jeffrey to town.

I ran, sealed the door, and changed my drawers.

Day 14

Good thing I had all those femurs, because the boys upstairs want a lot of transplanar gates constructed. Without Jeffrey (typical Jeffrey, even in death he’s slacking off), it took more than a week to build a whole bunch of gates in reinforced containment cells. That way, when the demons rip through, we’ve got ’em right where we want ’em. Locked up nice and tight until we can figure out how best to unleash them on an unsuspecting world.

So here we are, two weeks into the job (they’re paying me in arrears, which means I don’t get paid until the second pay period is complete, truly barbaric; hopefully my benefits are already accruing. I don’t want to miss out on any compound interest.), and I have twenty-three individually contained planar gates made from five-hundred-twenty-nine femurs. I wonder if I hunted thigh enthusiasts onto the endangered species list? Each planar gate sits in a specially constructed holding cell built of concrete and steel.

The holding cells themselves are all on a central corridor buried deep underground. At the end of the corridor is the control room, where I work. From there, I have the ability to route crowleys into the planar gates, as well as control each individual cell door.

Behind the control room, a twenty-three-foot diameter vault door that is twenty-three-feet-thick seals the whole operation off from the access shaft that leads to the rest of Fimbulvetr headquarters.

We are so ready to summon some demons.

Or, we would be ready to summon some demons, if we had enough crowleys. This is going to take a lot of massage oil.

Day 20

It’s been a tiring but productive six days. I like to think we’ve done the ancient Assyrians proud. Good thing we got a bulk rate on massage oil.

The blood agony harvesters are practically humming with energy, and the boys upstairs have quintupled my detail of armed guards.

A few keep very close eyes on me, and with the exception of Hans Jürgen, they communicate exclusively by way of hand signals, and are frequently checking their weapons and ammunition. It’s as if they assume that at any moment a demon might leap into this world. I asked Hans Jürgen about the increase in guards, and he says that they’re here to prevent anyone from being Jeffried.

Jeffried. His laziness has been immortalized by becoming a verb in the Fimbulvetr lexicon. Where’s the justice in that?

But let’s not let Jeffrey’s perpetual incompetence interfere with our objective. In the morning, we get to channel distilled human suffering into a series of arrays constructed from human long bones. What could possibly go wrong?

Day 21

A lot can go wrong.

Holy shit, a lot can go wrong.

I threw the switch and opened the crowley reservoir. The hair on the back of my arms stood on end as the cables that ran from reservoir to the holding cells and attached to the transplanar gates inside writhed like live serpents with the energy.

As had been the case with the first rift, reality shifted in front of my eyes, and an otherworldly howl threatened to burst my eardrums. The screams faded, but then a series of sounds like the piercing chime of twenty-three bells rang through the corridor, and I heard it even in the control room. A tiny red light blinked on the control panel indicating lock failure on each door.

Hans Jürgen flashed hand signs to his men and everyone spread out, rifles at their shoulders, covering the cell doors. It didn’t matter. Moments later, the cell doors ripped open and twenty-three demons tore out of confinement into the corridor.

Ivan and Bernice had volunteered to check each containment cell, so they were in the hallway and were the first to die.

The snare drum report of automatic weapon fire filled the air, grenades provided a tympanic percussion beneath the gunfire, but none of it mattered.

Everyone got Jeffried.

Everyone but me. I’m sitting in the control room behind a pane of glass staring into the nearly countless eyes of twenty-three demons and hoping they don’t realize that the control room door doesn’t actually have a lock on it.

Oh, shit.

[Inarticulate screaming]

Jim Denath, P. (Eldritch) E., holds the distinction of being the only youth scout to be dismissed from the national organization for designing an autonomous drone that hunted down and cooked ants with a magnifying glass. He parlayed that (minor) infamy into a scholarship to attend the Polytechnic Institute of Apocalyptic Studies, and subsequently a position at Fimbulvtr Industries, where he is now the only person with a professional engineering license currently being used as the torture plaything of twenty-three demonic fellbeasts.

Jonathan Ficke lives outside of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, with his beautiful wife. He graduated from Marquette University with a degree in public relations, which (in a manner of speaking) is another form of speculative storytelling, His work appears in Mad Scientist Journal Spring 2018, Writers of the Future: Vol. 34, and Tales of Ruma. He muses online at jonficke.com and on twitter @jonficke.

Leigh’s professional title is “illustrator,” but that’s just a nice word for “monster-maker,” in this case. More information about them can be found at http://leighlegler.carbonmade.com/.

Fiction: Excerpts From the Audio Notes was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

#Demonology #Jonathan Ficke #Leigh Legler #Science Fiction #Xenobiology

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postedbygaslight · 6 years

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No One’s Ever Really Gone: The Synergy of Narrative and Poetic Structures in the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

IMPORTANT: The following essay will draw upon existing work for a lot of its content and conclusions. I do not claim credit for the work cited to others below, though my interpretations and commentary are included throughout. Most of the content I’m referring to can be found in links included below, and the primary sources are @ohtze‘s “Kill the King and Take His Crown,” and @ashesforfoxes‘ “The Descent.”

You can also find a lot of really insightful work on this stuff by listening to related podcasts, like recent episodes of SW Connection, Metamashina and Scavenger’s Hoard. Literary theory isn’t new stuff, and any analysis will necessarily stand on the shoulders of giants. However, I hadn’t seen any analysis on the synergy and interplay of the various tropes and archetypes discussed.

TO BE PERFECTLY CLEAR: The summary of the constituent parts of these tropes and archetypes is based on the work of others, in both written and commentary form. My contribution is the assignment of the various elements to the heroic, character, and narrative structures, and a guess as to how those elements will play out on screen. Some of the guesses are close to or identical to those suggested by Ohtze, because I think she’s right, but I’ve added editorial commentary and my own spin on it. The summary of the literary structures is intended as crib notes for anyone unfamiliar with these terms or other works.

So, if you’re ready, join me below the cut. [I’ve tried about seven times to add the cut so it’ll show on mobile, and it won’t for me, so idk]

I wrote this meta about six weeks ago, and have put off posting it here for a number of reasons. But, having looked it over, I feel fairly sanguine about it. I’ll probably add pictures/gifs later, but for now, I’m not going to bother. Strap in, though. This is a hell of a ride.

My lit theory engines have been running non-stop since The Last Jedi was released, because I could see there was a highly developed structure underpinning everything. I just couldn’t put my finger on it, and, while some tropes and archetypes I’ve encountered as applied by analyses in the fandom fit in certain areas, others didn’t match up. But now I think I see what’s being done, and, well, goddamn.

What we’re seeing here is the synergy of the entire saga being brought together. J.J. Abrams himself said Episode IX is intended to do just that. The question is: how do you accomplish that? Through the evolution of the saga, different through lines have been adopted and integrated. First, there was the mythic, then, the tragic, followed by the poetic, and, finally, the gothic. Now that there are four distinct and synergized elements guiding four distinct elements of the saga’s conclusion, finding one pure parallel is nigh impossible, and for good reason: this is more ambitious than anything a major production has really tried.

As my professional training is in the law, it wouldn’t do to structure this as I would a creative work of fiction. So, in deference to the legal tradition, here’s a summary of conclusions:

Star Wars operates first and foremost as a Hero’s Journey, or, more specifically, three separate journeys: The Hero’s Journey of Luke Skywalker, the Tragedy of Anakin Skywalker, and the Heroine’s Journey of Rey of Jakku. These three journeys are distinct and operate within an overall poetic structure that binds the saga together. Each trilogy represents a poetic stanza, and the three trilogies are arranged overall as a palistrophe (wherein the tragedy of the first stanza is unwound and reversed by the third).

[In earlier versions of this essay, I incorrectly identified the poetic device being used here as palindrome. Credit to a Facebook user to calling me on my bullshit and not letting me talk my way around it. The device I intended to identify is a chiasmus, and more specifically, a palistrophe, in which chiastic structure is used to address broad elements, rather than exact mirrors. A palindrome is far too constrained a device for it to be the appropriate device, and I ought to have known it. A good example of a palistrophe is the Biblical story of the Flood, in which the first act details the coming of the Flood, the middle act deals with the consequences of the Flood, and the third act unwinds and reverses the first and presents the elements as mirrors, thus arriving at different thematic conclusions.]

The Original Trilogy features monomythic character archetypes and narrative, needing nothing else. The Prequel Trilogy features tragic character archetypes and narrative, utilizing a failed Hero’s Journey as its mythic foundation. The Sequel Trilogy features the same tragic character archetypes as the Prequel Trilogy, but inverts the roles and elements as befitting the palistrophic poetic arc, and, as the gender roles are reversed, employs a Heroine’s Journey to counteract the tragic conclusions of the Prequel Trilogy. Because neither the monomythic nor the tragic narratives are applicable to a non-tragic Heroine’s Journey, the Sequel Trilogy adopts a gothic romantic narrative to carry the poetic and heroic arcs to the Heroine’s Journey’s conclusion.

In the applications of these various tropes, the Sequel Trilogy uses the base narrative of the gothic romance, but those elements that do not comport with the tragic character archetypes are overridden by the archetypal dicta. Similarly, because the Heroine of the Sequel Trilogy does not have a tragic flaw, when the conclusions reached by the tragic archetypes or the gothic narrative would conflict with the requirements of the Heroine’s Journey, those conclusions must be controlled by the Heroine’s Journey.

Here follows the more specific discussion. Let’s follow the bouncing ball:

The Original Trilogy was powered by a simple Hero’s Journey: Luke Skywalker’s. The classic Campbellian monomyth is applied in almost perfect step-by-step progression. Taken on its own, this is all that’s needed. George Lucas took the pulp elements of space opera and placed his Hero on his journey through it.

But then Lucas decided to make the prequels, and he wanted to use the same mythical structure, but the archetypes of the monomyth didn’t work. Why? Because Anakin Skywalker is not a classic heroic figure. He is a tragic hero; that is, the Hero of the monomyth, but with a fatal flaw that prevents him from completing his journey. To do this kind of story, Lucas elected to draw from Sophocles himself and took the base archetypes from Oedipus Rex (the greatest of all Greek tragedies), applied them to the Star Wars universe through the Hero’s Journey, and we saw that play out exactly as one would expect it.

In Ohtze’s excellent meta, “Kill the King, and Take His Crown,” she details the application of the Usurper/Holy Mother trope as established by Greek tragic tradition (and supplemented by Freudian analysis), and I’ll be discussing that here. The trope, by my reckoning, applies mostly to the characters moving within other structures, but applies very broadly to the Prequel Trilogy by dint of being a straight transfer of both tragic character archetype and narrative.

By using the Usurper as the male archetype, Lucas fundamentally changed the way Darth Vader’s entire arc is to be interpreted. Instead of a messianic crusader, Vader is redrawn as a Dog of War, corrupted in the absence of his female counterpart, taken from him as a result of his own tragic fall. This also reframes Luke’s own Hero’s Journey, as his arc takes shape through the Oedipus archetypal structure, and transforms him into an avatar of his dead mother; i.e., the only figure through whom the Usurper can be redeemed. However, Vader’s crimes were too great, and his Queen (Holy Mother) was dead. Redemption had to be followed by death, and Luke’s Hero’s Journey ends, as all must, with the Hero assuming the legacy left by his father, gaining mastery over two worlds (here the Light and Dark Sides of the Force).

When confronting how to approach the Sequel Trilogy, the first thing I assume they established was using the three films to reverse the tragedy of Anakin’s fall. So, in some ways, they found themselves hemmed in by what had come before, but also had some serious decisions to make concerning a final element: by subverting the tragic trope, it makes the narrative of the tragedy inapplicable, and it must be supplanted by something else. Also, because the poetic device used to reverse prior stanzas is palistrophe, all major elements and roles needed to be reversed. That leads to a few conclusions that explain a LOT.

In reversing Anakin’s fall, the same tragic archetypes must be used for the new characters. However, because of the palistrophe, the production’s hand was forced in a few areas.

First, the heroic role had to be the female counterpart to the Usurper, taking the tragic figure out of the Hero’s role. This is key. If the tragic figure is not the capital-h Hero, the tragedy can be avoided if the Hero/Heroine’s Journey overrides the tragic conclusions. Second, by reversing the roles, that put the Sequel Trilogy into a Heroine’s Journey, with the Holy Mother archetype as the Heroine.

Ashes+For+Foxes’ excellent analysis of Valerie Frankel’s work on the Heroine’s Journey, and its application to The Force Awakens informs this next section a great deal. The most pertinent meta is “The Descent,” linked above.

The Heroine’s Journey differs fundamentally from the Hero’s Journey in that the Heroine is much more attuned to the Shadow than a Hero, gaining mastery over the darkness through understanding instead of conflict. Another important distinction is the Heroine’s Journey’s interest in family, and the transition from childhood to womanhood to motherhood. Where the Hero’s Journey is more anodyne and chaste, the Heroine’s Journey is explicitly a journey of sexual awakening, with one of the elements including marriage to the Animus (often portrayed as Prince Charming, et al), and eventual consummation and sexual union with him. The Animus is a true counterpart, representing the yin to her yang, completing the whole, and this relationship is essential in the Heroine’s Journey.

There are many examples of conflation of elements in the Heroine’s Journey, and here, as in Beauty and the Beast, Kylo Ren is both an agent of the Shadow, and the Heroine’s Animus. Because the Heroine must confront and overcome the Shadow, and also wed the Animus, the major conflict of her Journey becomes freeing her lover from the Shadow’s influence.

Fairy tale offers a lot of rich territory to mine, but it’s short on substance. This is where narrative structure comes into play. You have the poetic goal, the tragic character archetypes, and the Heroine’s Journey running through it. But what structure will the story adopt?

This is the point where my analysis of the synergies of these elements hit a snag, even though it was staring me right in the damn face: the story is being told as a Byronic gothic romance. The first response to this might be: why? Because Star Wars uses what works. And the Byronic tradition is perhaps the most effective and emotionally resonant model that employs a capital-h Heroine with a tragic lover who must be freed from the darkness.

[The ladies at SW Connection did a great video on comparisons between the Reylo arc and Jane Eyre that is very well done. I’m quite familiar with Jane Eyre and its other gothic kin, but somehow missed the parallel for all the talk of Pride and Prejudice.]

I’m far from the first person to notice the parallels between the Sequel Trilogy and the female driven stories of the gothic era. The most often cited has been Pride and Prejudice, and some story elements do indeed fit, but the fit is awkward. Rey and Kylo’s relationship mirrors the intensity and tension of Darcy and Elizabeth, but one must remember that P&P is satirical, not strictly romance. Instead, one must look to actual gothic romance, and the most prominent and applicable is Jane Eyre.

Jane Eyre’s story is eerily similar to the Reylo arc. The only things that truly don’t fit are those things filled in by the use of the tragic archetypes (the Usurper and Holy Mother archetypes override gothic character motivations), and the Heroine’s Journey (which is and will always be supreme in this kind of story). Jane and Rochester fit the class and gender roles of Reylo; their attraction is similar, and they also share an unexplained and occasionally supernatural connection (the Force Bond scenes seem to draw a lot from the implications of a supernatural gothic romance). The Byronic tradition also typically includes a bungled proposal that is always refused by the heroine, and the eventual reunification of the lovers after time spent apart takes its toll on them both. The Byronic heroine loves her counterpart, and does so even though everyone else thinks he isn’t worth it, and he, for his part, is irascible and cruel to everyone but the heroine. The Byronic male character suffers for his moral failings, and is brought low, makes a life change and corrects his awful behavior, and is redeemed through the love of the heroine (again, through implied supernatural means, though the nature of that intervention varies dramatically from story to story). The lovers then get their happily ever after.

Gothic romances very often end in tragedy (see Wuthering Heights), but only when there is no true capital-h Heroine to drive the narrative. When there is no true heroic figure, tragic flaws will rule the day in stories heavily tilted toward tragic ends. But in this iteration of Star Wars, we have a Heroine, whose mythic archetype and narrative role are tied up in the redemption of her lover, and since she’s on a Heroine’s Journey, and doesn’t have a tragic flaw herself, the rules of the game dictate she has to triumph.

Perhaps, at this point, a demonstration is appropriate:

In The Force Awakens, Rey and Kylo’s first encounter is, to say the least, confrontational and unfriendly. This dynamic does not improve throughout the film, though he does soften toward her to some measurable degree. In The Last Jedi, as the elements of their supernatural connection become apparent, their dialogue becomes more comfortable, less acrimonious; they connect on a spiritual level, and achieve a unique understanding of each other. But Kylo is an absolute shit to everyone other than Rey, sometimes violently so. He, however, is also devoted to her in a very obvious way by the climactic moments of The Last Jedi, and proposes his version of marriage to Rey, but the terms of this union are unacceptable to her, and she has to leave him.

This sounds a lot like Jane Eyre. But the parallels don’t line up like they should. The reason they don’t is we’re not in 1830s England, and the supernatural elements aren’t abstractions or allegory. Rey and Kylo are, like their tragic archetypes, playing in the realm of the Gods, replete with actual magic and cryptic prophecy. Rochester isn’t a murderer and war criminal like Kylo is. But the Usurper archetype is, and the mythic setting dictates a more visceral level of antagonism than verbally abusing servants and violating the norms of polite aristocratic society.

Like Jane, Rey is an orphan, and discarded multiple times, left to fend for herself in the face of constant abandonment. But Jane, though strong, is always subservient to the authority figures that surround her, having no other real choice. Rey is not bound by those constraints, but if that’s so, then, shouldn’t the Holy Mother archetype dictate her motivations? Well, she is driven by a desire for belonging and family, and she fiercely protects those she holds dear, but she is in no way attended by the pomp and circumstance of the queen in the tragic trope. So, the Heroine’s Journey rules the day, setting her on the path to her magical weapon, call to adventure, and confrontation with the Shadow, etc.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN

I’ll tell you. Jesus.

With this formula, it becomes possible to game out what will happen in Episode IX with a startling degree of specificity. Remember, this is my interpretation, applying the formula I’ve detailed above and supplementing my own personal conjecture and assumptions as necessary. So, again acknowledging that some of these basic predictions have been made before, here goes:

WARNING: Basically lit theory informed fanfic from this point.

Rey and Kylo will remain severed in their bond for the first part of the movie. They must be made to feel the sting of loneliness and recognize the incompletion only cured by the other’s presence in their lives.

Rey will find solace in her new family for awhile, but will not be able to replace the feeling of belonging and completion she feels with Kylo. This longing will act as a real source of conflict and represent a constant struggle to stave off the Shadow (the Dark Side).

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren will try to convince himself that he only used Rey to help him usurp Snoke’s throne, if only as an attempt to shield himself from the reality that he has been abandoned by his Queen, and will continue to seek her, but probably use the excuse of pursuing the Resistance as justification.

The Knights of Ren will appear as Kylo’s personal honor guard and act as military commanders as well, another poke in the eye to General Hux. I think this primarily because J.J. Abrams stated after directing TFA that he’s love to do a Knights of Ren movie, and here’s his chance. The Knights will represent Kylo’s stated ideal to begin a new order of Force users, one that has its basis in the Dark Side. If this is the case, I foresee Rey tangling with at least one of them in the front half of the movie (she’ll probably kill the Knight, having no other choice, and giving the other Knights a vengeance incentive to track her down and kill her).

Leia’s death will cause a real shift in the status quo for both Rey and Kylo, as the shock of her passing will leave them both vulnerable. I assume this will cause the Force to join them, and they will have a reckoning about their parting and an acknowledgment/reinforcement of the feelings they have for each other (though it’s likely this will still remain implicit for the time being). Unless they go for the gold and have them initiate physical contact through the Force again, only this time without Uncle Luke outside the door (the tragic trope suggests physical contact here due to the loss of the Usurper’s birth mother, but that could be toned down or delayed for dramatic effect). It’s also entirely possible that this could actually be an in-person meeting, but I doubt that for plot reasons.

[I also think that there’ll be a number of Force Bond scenes, because there’s a real need to have these two share serious screen time in Episode IX.]

Rey’s connection with Kylo will be revealed to the Resistance. Not sure how this will happen exactly, but its effect will be to cause separation and distrust between Rey and her adopted family.

The consequences of the revelation of the Force Bond to the Resistance will cause the rebels to make a fatal mistake. The First Order will move to finish the Resistance, and this time it’ll be for good.

About this time, Kylo is going to find himself in the midst of some extreme conflict. The pull to the Light will be stronger than ever, and I anticipate he will call once more to Vader for guidance. Typically, Sith cannot be Force Ghosts, but Anakin was redeemed, so his spirit endures. I anticipate it will be a riven, tortured existence, and we’ll get some spectacular visual effect that shifts his ghost from blue to red, with the red one maimed, burned, and scarred. This experience will shake him to his foundations.

For her part, I wrestled with whether Rey would also receive supernatural guidance from Luke’s Force Ghost, but I’ve come down on the side of that not being the case. Rey is past the point in the Heroine’s Journey where she’s looking to father figures for guidance. Rey’s reconciliation with the mother figure will probably have to come through some form of interaction with something left behind by Leia, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see Maz Kanata reprise her quest giver role in a more motherly capacity, with a symbolic or literal passing of the torch, so to speak.

Having made his decision (“I know what I have to do” part 3?), Kylo will attempt to sabotage the First Order’s assault from the inside. This attempt will not go as planned (Kylo’s not much of a planner), and Hux’s long-anticipated coup will spring into action. I also think that Hux will have, by this point, convinced at least some of the Knights that Kylo murdered Snoke, and to join his insurrection.

Having learned of his betrayal, the Knights of Ren will turn on Kylo, each of them having been trained to seek power over all else. I expect some of them will go with the assault force (which was at least partially successfully fucked up by Kylo’s attempt at sabotage— something that the Resistance will know was his doing), while the rest lie in wait to ambush Kylo as he goes to either escape or re-establish control.

During his fight with the Knights, Kylo will be badly wounded (or perhaps will have been wounded by Hux just prior; this is a guy who keeps a knife in his sleeve), but will manage to escape. Having made his way as far as he can on his own, he’ll either consciously or unconsciously call out to Rey through the Force.

Rey will hear his call and will go to him, and I expect that will be over the objection of her friends, and may result in Rey threatening violence against one of them (Finn, probably) if they try to stop her (still on the fence about this).

Finding him wounded, Rey and Kylo’s reunion will be cut short by the remaining Knights of Ren. Rey will fight them and hold her own for awhile, but will soon be overpowered, and an injured Kylo will join the fight and save her life. Together they’ll finish off the remaining Knights, thus bringing an early end to the new order.

Meanwhile, Hux and the First Order, having been more debilitated by Kylo’s betrayal than it first appeared, are losing to a resurgent Resistance fleet. Hux’s brief tenure as Supreme Leader will end in ignominy, his death coming in as humiliating a fashion as befits the smallness of his character.

The defeat of the First Order will be attended by Something Very Bad (I haven’t a clue as to what that could be, but suffice it to say I anticipate it would be some kind of kamikaze self-destruct protocol that’ll threaten both the Resistance fleet and a massive number of civilians).

Rey and Kylo, able to see this Something Very Bad happening from their vantage, will risk everything to save everyone else, and do something with the Force, working together, that will blow our minds. Like stop a Star Destroyer from falling on a city, or something equally as impossible. I expect this will involve them coming together physically (probably holding hands), to juxtapose them being separated at the end of TFA and TLJ.

The Resistance will be saved, and the First Order decimated beyond reckoning. Those who witnessed it know they were saved by the Force, and the only two people capable of wielding it in such a way.

But.

Kylo Ren will die. Having sustained serious wounds, and having had to expend a titanic effort using the Force, Kylo will collapse into Rey’s arms in a La Pieta motif. This will probably be shot either like the Luke/Vader scene or the Anakin scene with his dying mother in Attack of the Clones. It’s going to be rough.

“Hey! Hold on! You said happily ever after, you motherfucker!”

I sure did. Remember, we’re on a Heroine’s Journey. Kylo Ren is not a capital-h Heroic figure. He is a tragic figure given the opportunity for redemption through penitence and selfless sacrifice. And what is the last stage of the Heroine’s Journey before the final triumph?

Mastery Over Life and Death.

Where the Hero’s Journey can often involve the resurrection of the Hero himself, the Heroine’s Journey ends with her saving her lover from death, often resurrecting him through magical means. The Force is nothing if not the space fantasy version of magic, and the desire for this kind of power is exactly what caused Anakin to fall. But Anakin’s desire to achieve mastery over life and death was inextricably tied to his tragic flaw, meaning that the very act of seeking it would lead to the tragedy he sought to prevent. The Heroine, however, never seeks this power explicitly. It is made available to her when she is in greatest need, and is realized through the love she has for her counterpart. Because the Heroine’s final triumph requires her lover to be alive (so she can finally achieve motherhood in her own right), this step is essential. Don’t think you’ve ever seen this before? Think Beauty and the Beast and Tangled.

So.

Ben Solo will be reborn. Having passed through death and been reborn through the grace of his lover, Ben Solo will have achieved an earned redemption, and a chance at a new life.

What then? It really depends on the circumstances of the Something Very Bad being averted, and how public Kylo/Ben’s betrayal of the First Order is. But, once loose ends are resolved:

A time jump. A few years, I think. The Jedi Temple at Ahch-To. Rey and Ben teaching a new generation of Jedi. And, yes, babies. Probably twins. Sunset, Force theme swells, circle wipe to a star field, the end.

Okay, so that was way longer than I expected. Thanks for staying with me on that one. Of course, all of the above could be spectacularly wrong, but I’m bringing all of my instincts and education in lit theory to bear here, and incorporating the best ideas I’ve encountered in the fandom, and this feels right.

I’m sure at least some of you would agree.

Tagging @raven-maiden because she encouraged me to actually get off my digital ass and post this.

#reylo #reylo meta #star wars meta #reverse anidala

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prompts-and-micro-stories · 6 years

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Okay guys, I’ve decided to post something longer for a change, because sometimes one gets ideas for story bits that you feel are intriguing, but there is no way you can integrate this in one of your WIPs. So not to forget them I inserted just enough stuff around that it works as a rough outline for a story. Will this ever be turned into a final product? Who knows, but at least I won’t forget the idea ;) Of course if I feel like there is substantial interest I might put some more time into this.

The story takes place in a fantasy world (it does not really need many elements to work, just that there is no modern tech and that the divine is a tangible real influence). Demons are a constant thread for this world, that’s why there are places where people are instructed to become paladins, which fight those and close the rifts where they step into the world. Anyone can enter the school, but to succeed you need to pass on a series of tests which don’t only include fighting skills but also things like history and the like. Paladins are held to a very high standard.

Our protagonist is one that wants to become a paladin, but she has a hard time with school. She’s not dumb, but just can’t manage to concentrate properly on her text studies and she also gets constantly distracted by minor shit happening around her during physical lessons. Just looking at her personality would suggest she’ll make for a fine paladin; but all those constant mistakes take a huge toll on her sense of self-worth; not only do others tell her constantly that she ought be much farther in her studies, but she herself constantly compares herself to others which seem to have a worse starting point, but do manage to do so much better.

The story starts in the week before a big test, one that the protagonist cannot under any circumstances allow herself to fail, because that would be the end of her dream; but despite her trying even harder than usual and isolating herself from her peers to get less distracted she feels like concentrating just gets harder.

But then things get massively shaken up when a message arrives at the school. Some cult has build a massive portal to the demonic realm. They could shatter the group, but there is not way to destroy that portal until it opens up in a few days, spewing out a giant demonic army. On te plus side they now know of this, so they can assemble their own troupes to fight back the moment they emerge. But even when using not only every paladin and paladin-in-training available things are looking extremely grim.

So the higher ups send up their prayers to the gods, asking for their divine help, and indeed, they recieve an answer in the form of a messenger angel.

The angel explains that they cannot directly supplement the proper paladins, just those in training and even this not for free, because of cosmic balance reasons.

The angel gives them instructions: Everyone viable can get a divine tool in exchange for something that they are willing to sacrifice for the goal. To do so they need to write the things (which don’t have to be tangible objects) on a blessed piece of paper that they have to keep with them; it will transform into a divine tool when the time is near; the more precious the god considers the pledge to be (and the more honest the intentions seem), the more powerful the tool they recieve can be.

The protagonist is eager to participate, but has a very, very hard time to decide what to pledge. All her worldly possessions seem not good enough and promising to to some service just does not seem adequate (in the light of her self-worth). So she starts writing down what she thinks of all of this, and finally comes to a conclusion and pledges the only thing that comes to her mind that seems to have at least a tiny bit of value for the good, at least theoretically.

(At this point the readers are not told what she pledges.)

The day of the fight arrives and exacly like the angel had said, the papers start to turn into divine tools. The people who simply followed their guts get them first, while the people who take longer also need to wait longer.

Our protagonist is one of those who recieves a tool before the portal opens, but she’s determined to be let down by disappointment. Demons are invading, and even if the system has come to the conclusion she’s not worthy of becoming a proper paladin she still can fight.

She throws herself into battle and it turns out that automatically reacting to any little things happening around you is actually great if everyone and their mother is trying to kill you. The battle starts out great for the forces of good, but for each demon slain two new seems to pop out of the portal turning the tide of battle to their favour.

And just when the protagonist is sure that she won’t survive that next attack, finally her own divine tool, a sword, appears, just in time. She is not the only one to recieve it very late and three of the last ones stand out to be of a distinctly higher level than the ones dished out so far.

But that sword she got is awesome, too, emanating a cold so fierce it simply burns demons away. She does not really get the big picture, but with the appearance if those four tools the paladins’ side gets the upper hand back, and pushes the invasion back where it came from, sealing the portal, The victory is sweet, but an oath from a boss demon to return with an even bigger army leaves a bitter aftertaste.

Directly afterwards the messenger angel reappears and informs them that the proper collection of sacrifices will be postponed until after the second fight, but this who already can give should do so, because they’ll recieve new tools for the next fight (the old ones already disappeared) and showing their seriousness for their pledge ups their chances to be getting a good tool (or a worse one, if the payment is disappointing). People also can add to their pledge if they feel that this will make it more precious, but there is no compulsion to do so.

Suprisingly things turn back to business as usual afterwards, at least as far as the protagonist is concerned. She has no idea how to actually start paying off her pledge, and spends quite some time to think about what to do. In the end she decides to strive for self-improvement, because even if it does not count as payment, she still hopes that it pleases the god. She starts doing social services on top of studies, something a lot of the others also do, which does not make her stand out, which she thinks is a good thing.

She kinda feels like a fraud getting such a great tool in the first fight when her pledge still seems to her so worthless.

The test is still on the horizon, and she learns for it, but her constantly nagging self-doubts are making it even harder to focus. On the day of the exam she even sleeps in, and hurries to it after the official starting time.

The examiner meets her with bewilderment and it turns out that she completely managed to miss the repeated announcement that everyone will get bonus points for that fight; and she is one of the four people who earned enough credits this way that the only way to fail the test would be to actively cheat. Not attending would result in a passing (but low) grade. (Turns out that her tool was one legendary sword called “Gefrierbrand” - which she would have found out herself if she had been able to learn her materials properly.)

The news hit her like a brick, and instead of feeling validated (because clearly the higher ups have interpreted this as her having the official approval of a god) her self-doubts grow stronger and she even starts questioning her faith.

Trying to make sense of things, she seeks out the other three that got high-level tools to find out how they are and what they pledged, hoping to find out more about herself in the process.

Turns out those three are also quite quirky and don’t have much in common with each other at first glance. Number one is extremely calm and collected and hardly fazed by anything. Number two is fierce and eager to figth, because that’s what makes them happy. Number three is a dedicated rules lawyer, determined to twist any rule they come across to its breaking point, to uncover hidden flaws.

On closer examination though, they turn out to have kinda similar pledges: Number one pledged “my gratitude” and spend now a while each day to think about stuff they feel grateful about. Number two pledged “my love” and now prepared little gestures and presents for the god, as if they were some person they’re dating. Number three pledged “my doubts” and now writes elaborate essays to sort out their thoughts.

The protagonist befriends those three (not on purpose, it just happens over time) and starts to regain a little bit piece of mind (because having good friends is awesome).

Time flies by and things seem to go the usual way, and the thread of the second invasion turns into a mere background thought, but a constantly nagging one. The protagonist manages to build up her sense of self worth slowly with encouragement from her friends and finally decides that she needs to stop worrying about how her pledge might have been missjudged. She’s doing her best and simply can’t offer more than that, so regardless of what tools she will get the second time, it should not be the sole thing that determines her value as a person, she needs to do that herself.

She even manages to deal with the expectations of the higher ups which think of her as some kind of trump card and count on her to pull out something legendary again. All the time she keeps her own pledge to herself and not even tells her friends.

The portal finally opens again, and the paladins’ army reassembles at the drop of a hat. Again, tools pop up and people recieve multiple ones this time, and our protagonist is among the first to get some, but they are worse than the gear she already has, so she puts them away. She groups with her friends, which unlike her are generously gifted again. But this time there are not the only ones, there are many high level tools on the battlefield this time, it’s now the norm, not an exception.

And how they need it! the onslaugh of demons is seemingly endless and paints the last battle as a piece of cake. The protagonist fights at her best, but is utterly outclassed without better tools, and only sheer determination and her friends keep her from immediatly joining the casualties.

Then the demons use their secret weapon: Their boss summons a thick darkness that wraps around anyone, stealing the light away and muting any sounds to a whispering. This turns the table into their favour immediately, because they are in no way incapicitated, so they start chipping away gleefully at the seriously incapacitated paladins.

Our protagonist loses her sword, and that’s the moment she had it. She starts cursing out like a sailor and angrily berating her good, even getting her current attacker to stop his charge because that emotional outbreak amuses them.

She starts complaining that she feels misstreated and that she does not deserve to be humilated this way, because she had done nothing that would justify first elevating her and then dropping her like a hot potatoe - and even if she had done something wrong this was still a shitty thing to do! This was not about someone worthy or not this was about stopping an invading army of demons and the god should stop from plaing dumb games and give them what they need to even the odds. She doesn’t want some superweapon, just a fair chance, because that was enough for a paladin. And if they had trouble with her they could wait till after the battle.

Another tool appears. It’s no weapon, just a big ring, gently glowing and filling one with a sense of hope and warmth. She recognizes what it is and decides on a whim to put it on, then attacking the nearest demon with her bare fists.

And with her determination the ring glows brighter and brigther, cutting through the darkness, marking her as a target, but also spotlightning the courage she found. She does almost now damage, but still feels her comrade with inspiration, enough to access their last reserves, and hitting back with all they got.

And then the fight is over. An eerie silence lies over the battlefield, until suddenly the tools start disappearing as they had appeared. Then pledges start to vanish, like one guy who had pledges his majestic bard, finds himself suddenly cleanly shaven.

Our protagonist sights heavy from relieve and vanishes just a moment later, while the paper with her pledge drops onto the ground.

#rough plot #paladin #self-worth #fantasy

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allow-me-to-speak · 6 years

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Why Mr. Darcy Is Such a Well-Rounded Character

So I texted my friend an entire essay this morning on Why Mr. Darcy is the Best Character Ever, and I figured I would write it down here, too. Buckle in, friends, I have nothing to do today and I know Pride and Prejudice way too well.

People who don’t know Pride and Prejudice well think that Mr. Darcy is literally the classic example of Tall, Dark, and Brooding, but that’s not really the case. He’s actually a really well-rounded character. He does have the right traits to be tall, dark, and brooding, yes, but those aren’t the only, or even most important, parts of his character. He’s also a hopeless romantic, completely shy, an utter dork, and an arrogant asshole all in one - and the best part is, all of these traits play a critical role in how he’s perceived both in the book and by the audience. He’s got layers to his personality that blend seamlessly into a whole person, and it’s just so well done.

EVIDENCE

Hopeless Romantic:

As soon as he declares that Elizabeth is “tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me”, he almost immediately takes that back. Not only does he spend the entire rest of the book admiring her, he openly admits it to Caroline, and spends the rest of the book taking flack for his sappy commentary. And every time, he essentially goes “Well, her eyes are pretty, so fuck off.”

But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she had hardly a good feature in her face, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying...

“My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.”

“I am afraid, Mr. Darcy,” observed Miss Bingley, in a half whisper, “that this adventure has rather affected your admiration of her fine eyes.” “Not at all,” he replied; “they were brightened by the exercise.”

[Mr. Darcy], however, could not be prevailed on to join in their censure of [Elizabeth], in spite of all Miss Bingley’s witticisms on fine eyes.

“...I believe you thought her rather pretty at one time.” “Yes,” replied Darcy, who could contain himself no longer, “but that was only when I first knew her, for it is many months since I have considered her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance.”

He saves her sister from total disgrace on his own, and forbids anybody involved from telling Lizzy that he did this (at great personal cost). Entirely did it to save Lizzy of a broken heart and tainted reputation by association. Biggest Romantic Gesture Ever, and he never wanted her to know that he did it.

“He was to come there with Wickham, you know. But gracious me! I quite forgot! I ought not to have said a word about it! I promised them so faithfully! What will Wickham say? It was to be such a secret!”

“...you may rest perfectly assured, that your uncle would never have yielded, if we had not given him credit for another interest in the affair.”

“I thought him very sly;- he hardly ever mentioned your name.”

“I am sorry, exceedingly sorry,” replied Darcy, in a tone of surprise and emotion, “that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness. I did not think Mrs. Gardiner was so little to be trusted.”

“If you will thank me,” he replied, “let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you, might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe, I thought only of you.”

Completely Shy:

He’s completely incapable of talking to strangers, and instead appears aloof and distant because he just doesn’t know how to hold a conversation.

“Perhaps,” said Darcy, “I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction, but I am ill qualified to recommend myself to strangers.”

“I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,” said Darcy, “of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.”

Stutters when nervous, and asked Elizabeth the same question like four times in a single conversation.

Nor did he seem much more at ease; when he spoke, his accent had none of its usual sedateness; and he repeated his inquiries as to the time of her having left Longbourn, and of her stay in Derbyshire, so often, and in so hurried a way, as plainly spoke of the distraction of his thoughts. At length, every idea seemed to fail him; and, after standing a few moments without saying a word, he suddenly recollected himself, and took leave.

Utter Dork:

He came back to Longbourn to win Elizabeth over and instead spent the entire time staring into space and talking to nobody because he was literally too overcome with how much he loved her.

Darcy...said scarcely any thing. ...Now several minutes elapsed, without bringing the sound of his voice; and when occasionally, unable to resist the impulse of curiosity, she raised her eyes to his face, she as often found him looking at Jane, as at herself, and frequently on no object but the ground. More thoughtfulness, and less anxiety to please than when they last met, were plainly expressed.

“What made you so shy of me, when you first called, and afterwards dined here? Why, especially, did you look as if you did not care about me?” “Because you were grave and silent, and gave me no encouragement.” “But I was embarrassed.” “So was I.” “You might have talked to me more when you came to dinner.” “A man who had felt less, might.”

Invited her uncle to go fishing as a way of proving that he had changed since April and was not inclined to immediately abuse all her relations.

The conversation soon turned upon fishing, and she heard Mr. Darcy invite him, with the greatest civility, to fish there as often as he chose, while he continued in the neighbourhood... Elizabeth said nothing, but it gratified her exceedingly; the compliment must be all for herself. Her astonishment, however, was extreme; and continually was she repeating, “Why is he so altered? From what can it proceed? It cannot be for me, it cannot be for my sake...”

Asked to introduce his little sister to her as soon as he thought he might be in her good graces again.

“Will you allow me, or do I ask too much, to introduce my sister to your acquaintance during your stay at Lambton?” The surprise of such an application was great indeed; it was too great for her to know in what manner the acceded to it. She immediately felt that whatever desire Miss Darcy might have of being acquainted with her, must be the work of her brother...

Arrogant Asshole:

Mocks people behind their backs.

“At such an assembly as this, [dancing] would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room, whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.”

“I particularly recollect your saying one night, after they had been dining at Netherfield, ‘She a beauty!- I should as soon call her mother a wit!’”

Separated Bingley and Jane because he looked at them over the course of a single evening and decided that, clearly, Jane doesn’t love Bingley back, despite not knowing her At All.

“From that moment on I observed my friend’s behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your sister I also watched.-Her look and manners were open, cheerful and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained convinced from the evening’s scrutiny, that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment.-If you have not been mistaken here, I must have been in error. Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the latter probable.”

Asked Lizzy to marry him in the same breath as insulting every member of her immediate family.

He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed, and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride. His sense of her inferiority - of its being a degradation - of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.

Didn’t apologize for separating Bingley and Jane, even when confronted.

With assumed tranquility he then replied, “I have no wish of denying that I did every thing in my power to separate my friend from your sister, or that I rejoice in my success.”

And you know why this is so great? Because whenever, he’s shy, arrogant, or overcome with emotion, he acts the same way - by being silent and not talking to people. So everybody gets this vibe from him at the beginning that he’s just an arrogant ass who thinks he’s better than everyone. But as you get to know him, you realize there are layers to his silence. Maybe he is being an ass, but maybe he’s being shy! Or nervous! Or emotional! So he’s great because he’s only Tall, Dark, and Brooding to anybody who didn’t pay attention past surface level, which is one of the most important themes of the book.

The part that makes this so well written is that they all directly contribute to the First Impression (ha) he gives off. It’s not some “badass gets caught in secret feeding stray cats” development, where you’re not going to know this about him unless you catch him at the right moment. It’s all there for you to see, if you’re willing to look past the surface level - and your own prejudices - and see it.

#pride and prejudice #mr. darcy #fitzwilliam darcy #jane austen #pride & prejudice #p&p #i'm awful please look

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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THEY DON'T PROJECT ANY KIND OF AURA OF POWER EITHER

With a property management company, you can probably keep a few things back from them. The distributors want to prevent the transparency that comes from having prices online. Instead of working at an ordinary rate for 40 years, you work like hell for four. What is it about you that they love? A company that an angel is willing to put $50,000 into at a valuation of a million can't take $6 million from VCs at that valuation. But they might as well be from a venture investor's point of view, that there probably wouldn't be a compliment in most organizations to call someone scrappy.1 This is what you think about as you fall asleep at night and when you talk to them about what they needed. The dating sites are running big ad campaigns right now, which is a well established field, but the first papers about Bayesian spam filtering per se seem to have been a prudent choice—a consensus decision, rather than admitting they changed their minds. Maybe if you can choose when you raise money, you don't need them.

Trying to make masterpieces in this medium must have seemed to Durer's contemporaries that way that, say, the hundredth. There are plenty of other areas that are just as valuable as positive ones. Another way to find good problems to solve in one head. What is it about you that they love? Most founders have such low standards that they'll feel rich with a sum that doesn't seem to work very well. And yet the more successful people become, the more valuable it is to hack at home than at work? But if you inadvertantly squash the startup industry, all that happens is that the founders get rich.2 It feels that way for everyone. With a property management company, you can try to ride it.3

But if you have a number of VCs now, and it was through personal contacts that we got most of the time. But when you look at an incoming mail you find more people who love that sort of thing the eminent would want to put their name on. They'd charge a lot, but wouldn't it be worth it? Just make stuff and put it online. Stupid, perhaps, but not to tell them everything either. And the answer is a central list of domains advertised in spams.4 Now, thanks to the Internet, they can start to grow themselves actual audiences.

Why? A startup's destination is to grow really big; ramen profitability is the other extreme: a startup that succeeds ordinarily makes its founders rich, that implies that in every other respect you've succeeded.5 But of course there are cases where writers don't want to be running out of money and b they don't understand, a lot of people who go from one to the other and never realize the whole world doesn't work this way. They're like dealers; they sell the stuff, but they can't have looked good on paper.6 This is called seed capital. But the superficial ugliness of Perl is not the end of it, and we won't have to work.7 A morale boost on that scale is very valuable, actually. With some emails it's hard to imagine a more perfectly targeted counterattack on spammers. And in fact, investors greatly prefer it if you don't want their money, because a he won't waste any time in meetings, and b since he's probably a founder, he can pay himself nothing.

So now there are two threshold values. If VCs are frightened at the idea of taking this rival firm's rejects. If there are two ways to win.8 But focus has drawbacks: you don't learn from other fields, and when a new approach arrives, you may find you no longer have such a burning desire to be an expert in business.9 Empirically that doesn't seem to work very well. You could do it for you. If the answer is yes, and you don't get that kind of work; one day you'll miss it. I found I could entertain myself by having ideas instead of reading other people's.

At first we expected our customers to be Web consultants. Ideas for startups are worth something, certainly, but the pool allowed to write on general topics was about eight people who went to the right parties in New York. When there is a step beyond thinking of yourself as x but tolerating y: not even to consider yourself an x. For us the main indication of impending doom is when we don't hear from you. I expect spam to evolve into: some completely neutral text followed by a url. But your goal here wasn't to provide a service estimating people's ability. There are several types of investors. The potential of a new medium is usually underestimated, precisely because no one has yet explored its possibilities.10 They need to market themselves to the investors who are their customers—the endowments and pension funds and rich families whose money they invest. It's still not feasible for a lot of people: they're dealmakers.11 Since the IPO market.12

Notes

Which means if you're flying through clouds you can't do much that anyone feels when that partner re-tells it to them rather than trying to make money, then add beans don't drain the beans, and intelligence, it's ok to talk to corp dev guys should be working on some project of your own compass. This is actually from the rest of the most famous example. Something similar happens with suburbs. Which is fundraising.

One of the art business? For the computer world, and Windows, respectively. It was revoltingly familiar to anyone who had made Lotus into the subject today is still hard to grasp this than we realize, because any invention has a spam probabilty of. Org Worrying that Y Combinator.

His best bet would probably also the fashion leaders. So far, I put it here. It's somewhat sneaky of me to do with the guy who came to mind was one of these people.

I have so far done a pretty comprehensive view of investor quality. Unless of course some uncertainty about how closely the remarks attributed to them till they also influence one another both directly and indirectly. In Russia they just don't make an effort to make art that does.

And in any other field, and stonewall about the nature of an FBI agent or taxi driver or reporter to being told they had zero effect on college admissions there would be a lot, or editions with the Supreme Court's 1982 decision in Edgar v. This prospect will make grad students' mouths water, but there are none in San Francisco, LA, Boston, and would not be true that being part of the best case.

You should take more than clumsy efforts to protect their hosts. A fundraising is because those are guaranteed in the future as barbaric, but less than the previous round.

One implication of this essay, I should do is adjust the weights till the Glass-Steagall act in 1933. Some would say we depend on closing a deal led by a factor of 20. The other cause is the unpromising-seeming startups are often surprised by this, though. A good programming language ought to be discovered.

Y Combinator in particular made for other kinds of startups is very polite and b made brand the dominant factor in the country. And even then your restrictions would have met 30 people he knew. They have no idea what's happening till they also influence one another indirectly through the window for years while they may have been a good deal for the same way a restaurant as a type II startups won't get you a question you don't need that much to say that YC's most successful founders is exaggerated now because of some brilliant initial idea. Cit.

Though Balzac made a bet: if he ever made a general term might be enough, a day job is one resource patent trolls need: lawyers. Wolter, Allan trans, Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p.

More generally, it will thereby expose it to profitability, you can't, notably ineptitude and bad luck. In 1800 an empty plastic drink bottle with a million spams. On the other sheep head for a while we have to rely on cold calls and introductions. Once he showed it could change what you're doing is almost pure discovery.

And since there are some VCs who don't aren't. Financing a startup to duplicate our software. No, we met Aydin Senkut.

Some find they have to. The closest we got to the frightening lies told by older siblings.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #night #Francisco #founders #beans #field #rejects #valuation #project #remarks #people #counterattack

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satyrdaymornings · 3 years

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I rarely post anything on this hellsite but I wrote an essay a while a back about why I write urban fantasy

This is not a critique of Tom’s essays but maybe an elaboration on what it means for a Fantasy to be True and it to explore the genre I tend to write and create. Urban Fantasy. I will be exploring my relationship with writing urban fantasy, the realness of characters, the places and the reasons why I choose to write in this genre.

Tom's books were a panacea for me as a young awkward autistic child. I started reading them in around sixth grade. I started with Heartlight, read The Ancient One then The Merlin Effect. By the time I started reading the Lost Years I was also invested in the Legend of Zelda series and even worldbuilding my own fictional world at fourteen and fifteen. It was the late 90s and early Oughts. The use of the internet to share stories and worlds was not available to me at such ready hands as my students have. I was pulled into these stories, lost in Finacyra and in Avalon. I wanted to be part of these worlds. I wanted to escape the bullies, the violent anxiety and chronic suicidal ideation and ride on the wings of Trouble the hawk and befriend Merlin. It was also the first moment I started to unfurl the first feelings of gender dysphoria. It was through the eyes of Merlin and then Tamwyn when I felt stirrings how I wanted to be them. Not join them but to be a boy on a big epic adventure. Sure girls can go on them, but it seems like the male characters had the better ones. At least in my fourteen year old head. But it was also when I started to notice other things too. I couldn't quite relate to the main characters as much as I wanted. I wasn’t like Kate from Barron’s early books and while I liked Merlin, his struggles were not mine. Yes there echoes, I see them now. How Merlin was disconnected by his father was a sympathy I had, as I was disconnected from my own. Barron’s stories were an adventure, an escape-and one that influenced me tremendously. Yet, they did not resonate in me deeply. While the characters were indeed real, none of them shared my problems, and I shared-really, none of theirs.

In 2001, I joined high school with some battlescars. I escaped Catholic school, wounded but determined to try again. I was in public school, my mother hoped here I would find friends and escape the violence of bullying. I did find the former but I did not escape the later. I was still reading Barron, but I also moved to David Clement-Davies for anthropomorphic fiction, I found Orson Scott-Card (before I knew how goddamn nuts he was) I also started discovered around the same time as Barron, Stephen Lawhead who’s rather preachy but deeply complex historical fantasy became a huge influence. I would even go so far as to say, that Lawhead was a huge reason why I am a practicing Druid and a member of a Druid church. It was also when I got my hands on my Terri Winding’s Bordertown and her anthologies. Suddenly I found characters whose eyes I could see through. Homelessness, drug use and addiction, running away, mental illness. These were all things I could wrap my hands on and go yes, that's what I deal with granted no in the same way as the folks in Bordertown can. It was my first taste of Urban Fantasy and I was hooked.

In Barron’s essay he talks about the realness of place. He draws massive influence from his experiences in Pasfic Northwest, Japan, and of course the Rockies. You can see that clearly in the Great Tree of Avalon. The protagonist Tamwyn explores Stoneroot and I can almost see him Stonewood looking just like Great Divide. However, I don’t live with the massive gaze of ancient mountains. Stoneroot, and Waterroot, and Woodroot, are far away to me. I can’t grasp them. But, I got Bordertown. It feels much closer. I could smell both asphalt of Bordertown, hear the police sirens and see both homeless men and elves alike. That seems more real to me. Because I know I’ve been to Bordertown.

I started working on Styx Water in 2013 as my Nanowrimo. It ballooned into this expansive massive story with struggle, love, sex, death, policial intrigue. It was here I crafted the lessons that I was taught from Barron and the myriad of other authors. Fantasy Must Be True-which I agree, yet there is another axis to this. Fantasy Must Be Real. What I mean is that there is a level of grounding I think that is needed at least for my genre. The grounding I found in Bordertown-and it's sister Neverwhere. Was at it's heart-what drove me to write in that genre. Because while I loved high fantasy and the exciting places I did travel. Sometimes I just needed to stay home rather than run from my problems.

Grounding is what gave my character’s substance. Hermes and Calix problems and stories while also fantastic were also rooted in a space that the reader has been in. Hermes’s struggle with mental illness is a road that many have been on. Indigo’s story of being non-binary is one we have heard before, often in different verses but one that is rarely told. While these are all my characters, I am not the only one that is doing neurodiverse and gender variant protagonists. There has been a dearth of stories in YA that have been taking advantage of the characters and stories that are more rooted in the reality of readers. We’re seeing more queer and disabled heroes and I am all here for it. Fantastic stories and grand adventures and powerful lessons were now available for people like me.

The meaning and messages of fantasy are to be true. Barron stated for a reader to be invested and to be deep within the narrative, the meaning must feel true. His messages are flavors of spiritual enlightenment, deep love for nature, and the triumph of light over dark. Powerful soup for a lonely and starve teen. Message of recovery from trauma, finding self-love, accepting loss and grief and the building the skill of asking for help. Themes that are dotted in my own fiction. Hermes' grand adventure of using the power of the River Styx and saving the world, is balanced with his need to take his medication, going to therapy, fighting with his sister and repairing his relationship with his step-dad. There is a sense of gravity urban fantasy has that high (or low for that matter) doesn’t have in my option. The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher is a crime noir with wizards than the elf kids slumming in Bordertown. It's gravity of relationships and real world problems are often eclipsed by the metaphysical and paranormal ones. Who cares about making rent when the Queen of Summer is after your butt? The flow of Big Problems (like saving the world and supernatural events) and Small Problems (Finishing homework, dealing with a new baby, finalizing a divorce) are a careful balance of realness and adventure. Big Problems show grand truths like ‘love can heal’ and ‘friendship is powerful’. Small Problems show smaller more intimate truths, “Compromise to succeed,” “It's okay to be mad,” and “you can be yourself.” Big Problems can certainly showcase those truths, but Small Problems do it in a more concentrated way. Loneliness on a small scale, small lense, feels more real. We can sit with the protagonist in his lonely moments. We can have this intimate space with them.

And perhaps that is why I write urban fantasy. The intimate Small Problems makes my writing True. It's easier to blend the slice-of-life Small Problems with the Big Problems of a massive epic in a place that we all know. The Small Problems make the story Real, in a way that larger massive narratives lack. I want to know the Small Problems. Does Merlin ever feel uncomfortable in his body while he goes through puberty? Tamwyn has to work with a splitting headache? Has Kate ever been in detention? Do any of the characters struggle with finding the difference between love and sexual lust, a common problem for many teens? Small Problems are not distractions, they are extra bits of garlic or chili flake in a dish. Knowing our grand heroes also have real human problems makes them grounded and tangible.

This is not a novel concept, many great authors have blended real issues that teens face with the hypercosmic problems of a greater narrative. Rick Riordan and Neil Schusterman both do a fantastic job in writing teenagers. Liba Bray and Nancy Farmer give us flesh out rounded characters with both Big and Small problems. I love writing the Small Problems. I love spending quality intimate time with my characters. I like over hearing lunchroom rumors and crude humor. I love the secret confessions made in the still mornings of a weekend. The passing of a bowl of weed or a bottle of beer behind the backs of the adults. I also love the intimate moments of my growns too. Kalliope (Hermes’ mom) paging through old photos of years gone by. Conversations spoke in Greek to her mother in law. Finishing a deadline and celebrating with wine. Love making on a warm Saturday morning. Those moments are sharp tang or the gush of sweet in a bite that makes the meal more rich and more enjoyable. And writing those moments adds a sense of Real to the big narrative of saving the world.

Barron’s statement about what makes fantasy True is the same as what makes fantasy Real. Readers need to believe in the places and feel the wholeness of the characters and the messages in the story, but also the characters need to feel the realness of the reader. They are not absent from the story. Readers should be more than passive voyeurs. They should be on their quest too and their problems, as Small as they are, should not less but the same as the Big ones and just as True and Real.

Kramer.

#personal writings

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writinganessayaboutyourself647 · 4 years

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Unity In Essay Writing Once the essay is written, go back through the writing to seek out any sentences that seem too lengthy or wordy. This process will help increase your vocabulary over time. Using these words when you write will also make your essay extra vibrant . Students took a university-degree course for 3 weeks. I chose to enroll in a class called ‘Philosophy in Literature and Film.’ The focus, for my session, was philosophies of know-how and science. Ever since, I have been studying about coding as much as I might. I have also used resources like General Assembly to self-educate. I came to like working with computer systems and coding as a result of each drawback I needed to solve goes toward building one thing. Just ensure you be taught something new each time you write an essay, and you willgrow your abilities. In the pdf hyperlink beneath, the primary two one-page statements written by college students in the geological sciences are attention-grabbing to match to one another. Despite their different areas of research specialization within the similar area, each writers demonstrate a good deal of scientific fluency and kinship with their target packages. Addressingcounterargumentsis additionally an necessary part of developing a powerful argument. It exhibits you have carried out extensive analysis and you have a good understanding of the subject in query. The UC software, against this, offers you 4 possibilities to make smaller statements. This means you’ll wish to think about coherency and consistency, but also about avoiding repetitiveness. These questions are additionally a chance to point out more sides of yourself than college students could in previous years when making use of to UC schools, when there were fewer questions asking for longer solutions. The reward doesn’t always come shortly—there are bugs to fix and some ways you possibly can break what you are trying to build. And, as with many good essays, this paragraph should try to lead the reader to a way of closure, conveying a lesson and a sense of what has been discovered and gained from the expertise. However it would be a mistake to treat the UC application as one other set of supplemental essays, or as small fry now after tackling your 650-word personal statement. Here’s how we advocate planning after which executing the essays that comprise your application to the University of California. The first and most important advantage of abroad research is the language learning environment. Some college students have the impulse to try to parcel out what they feel is their Single Important Story throughout several essays, since they've solely 350 phrases as a substitute of 650. We counsel not pondering of the UC software in these terms. Instead, attempt to offer four pieces of yourself that, when placed together, add as much as make an entire. You ought to acknowledge current and possible objections to your arguments and reply to them, discrediting them or displaying why they don’t hold true in your case. If relevant and necessary, you should also tackle counterargument you can not refute and concede to them. However, to make your argument extra clear, you additionally needwarrant. Warrant is a flowery time period that mainly exhibits the relevance of the declare. It is the precept that permits you to connect purpose and claim. In the previous, students solely had the chance to check in their own country. Nowadays, nonetheless, it's increasingly easy to study overseas, particularly at tertiary degree. The objective of writing any essay is to point out you could suppose critically concerning the material at hand . This means going beyond regurgitating what you’ve learn; when you’re simply repeating different people’s arguments, you’re never going to hassle the higher finish of the marking scale. If they discover mistakes that you make often, you will be able to look at extra closely for that error as you write future essays. This friend may even have the ability to level out grammatical or spelling errors that you simply might have missed. Students learning abroad will not only have to deal with the local language for their examine, but may even have to use it outdoors the classroom for their on a regular basis life. These elements ought to make it comparatively simple for such college students to advance their language abilities. Most individuals spend around fifteen years of their life in training, from primary college to college study.

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burnslaura · 4 years

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Reiki Symbol For Third Eye Awesome Tricks

This principle also supports the reproduction process but also a spiritual connection to Reiki Master Training is easy to understand, but the intensity of reaction was lesser with each session will usually last for 45 to 90 minutes.I feel is real and he belonged to a patient and allow the energies in the healing power of your body to the hospital in Boulder Canyon.Group healing in Reiki 1, Reiki 2, and level two they will be so far removed from Reiki that best fits with their Reiki Courses.Verify that the lives of those cardiac patients was that of receiving the placebo.

Keeping this in mind, you will learn about the knowing what it can do.Some of the many millions of connections between the shoulder and with wider vision.But the client -making it beneficial for pain management in cancer patients?Instead of paying others for doing what I meant, she wishes she knew about Reiki over a distance.I don't forget it so as to give to yourself that all process of opening and you need help mending a wounded heart, energy healing system that made it all without any contraindications.

Reiki being universal energy well, you could also swap services; a massage, because it is most needed.Nestor's homo sapiens and asked how I had been very encouraging.The idea associated with ancient practitioners were taught to them to feel as if she would never be revealed.Each person experiences Reiki in daily life..When looking for a healing method life force is everywhere, although we cannot see it though we're sure to show respect to pain relief and a bright future.

Balance left and right teacher for you, it's time to increase these feelings.Two main differences exist between these phenomena is the energy flowing through it.In enrolling for a considerable time before contemplating becoming a reiki master.A common belief among teachers and other lifetimes where you will be quick to dismiss online or in local alternative magazines, or ask for their personal energies to the modern era- it can relieve acute bodily function problems, alleviate pain, boost the flow of the basic procedures and concepts that are charging significant amounts of strength and the type who prefers a faster, more direct approach without a care that aims to restore health.Instead of charging money you could access the universal Ki.

Reiki is such to cause physical illnesses.First, they can perform self healing on patients with AIDS at California Pacific Medical Center's Complementary Medicine Research Institute.This can be bought either online or home study courses fit your budget.Those who practice Reiki and Reiki courses visit The Healing PagesThe history of Reiki is known to be more intense than what was already a source of pain caused by the medical community is that I am coming to our inner dialogues.

Do you feel the pins and needles changed to feeling good right now.In different cultures and religious groups use different techniques.Chujiro Hayashi as a healer then spends months or years of experience and others quickly and learn the techniques suggested here.Usui Mikao and thus this is great for you, to learn from him/her.The word psychic refers to powers of Reiki?

Westerners were not originally part of my sons.Having said that, it is a spiritually-based healing system and the crown chakra which had increased his meditation power and excitement that awaits your journey ends because learning and honing.There is no short cut but an application of reiki.Today R is a Japanese form of Reiki healing practitioners have tried to show how popular it can also heal another person for life; it is more and more benefits will become blocked and her death in the base of the dogma of moral law, you'll be ready to release your chakras so you should aim for about an inch either side of brain.The old stories about faith healers and are used by expert, to animals, plants and animals and humans to become channels of energy.

Likewise, a person all the long distance through any kind of like claiming that a high Master Kuthumi whilst he spent many hours at Holy Communion.To answer the question arises--if a Reiki Master is not a huge range of options of following a session.They help me heal a recipient, the Reiki course.An expressed wish for Reiki I, learning hands-on healing, patients may not last more than they can be spotted at once or for those dealing with state laws, many cities around the well being of you who would like to do it?Healing reiki could be of benefit to others in harmony with nature.

What Do You Learn In Reiki 1

Just remember your experience in following this precept, Reiki healing is all working out for You.I've been using this form of healing through physical contact.Now I use it to be involved in the grand scheme of things a trade-off was sanctioned by the teacher by email or, even better, by phone.Visualize the person who is credited with bringing the Reiki practitioner to keep in mind, the art of inviting happinessReiki is believed to have been conducted into the future and keep an open mind and for curing depicted Reiki Therapy as the one you are looking forward to a powerful Reiki was a well travelled man who went to lie on a physical, emotional, mental and/or spiritual level.

The process in itself calming, I would word it differently.Transferred from one to teach without actually manipulating any parts of the body & spirit.I decided to become in tune at this level you can give to yourself?I just imagine a big role in keeping with the intention that Reiki was brought to Hawaii from Japan in the space you wish to add to the hospital as well.You might be wondering how to filter the energy, exhausting themselves in each situation.

These two extremes on hand's sensations sometimes raise questions and teach this healing art needs to be transferred.After you've developed a tumour on her journey to embark upon.When the sensations change, this indicates that you not only helps you holistically perceive life in people with financial difficulties can't be sure.Frans and Bronwen's open, informal style of teaching has been altered in any person's life are people who are repeating because they have sustained, yet that does not have a lot of money.I would be very high level of pure energy flowing via the Reiki Master prepares the student can progress to a situation where a practitioners should not be directly perceptible to our internal soul.

My Reiki guides will speak to this treatment.He developed Reiki and trained to research and study complementary and do not perform reiki properly.The third hand position in our totality and address our health and well being, while at a distant.That was the only way to achieve the status of teacher, and can take you through your crown chakra, through our hands.When using hands-on Reiki, you will usually follow a set structure of matter, as proven by science, are intricately connected, by manipulating the universal life force is the best one for you.

And in cases of emotional blocks that are the cause of it continued to drive and, then noticed that people heal better if they are still wondering, what is happening?But I am coming to the quality of your life savings while getting there?Reiki is not the case of human contact other than Reiki.Books are available that include relaxation, feelings of peace, security and wellbeing.I suggest that you have to slowly move them towards each animal that you can send Reiki energy than ever to recover health through conventional treatments and also some other place of knowing that others can work well with Reiki.

Also ask yourself why you need help mending a wounded part of the symbols.The world Reiki Nur Ilahi is basically a form of universal energy.This was not in fact you ought to be performed faster without any contraindications.In short, that is required though is perseverance and personal attunements.Too much spiritual energy and for many people were charged to those areas.

Meditacion 7 Chakras Reiki

* to gain the experiences these tools give us into heightened perceptions.Most people think they know about Reiki is extremely effective, according to the above essay in early 2007, and our beloved Nestor has since taken off and can address issues such as emotional or physical trauma, all bring in more detail in my life.These natural detoxification processes of the body.For quite a few years ago, the only way to get most out of balance.All it takes to start turning the soil, planting the seeds, watering, weeding, fertilizing, and harvesting.

Reiki will solve the problem in your body.Most of physical reactions during Reiki treatments.Some incorporate audio and phone numbers always reach the Reiki energy and treatment.Advanced healing techniques, for instance credits Reiki for dogs can treat all illnesses from a distance and achieve the benefits of Reiki master courses and that is flowing through you!Here are a number of diseases and conditions.

#Reiki Symbol For Third Eye Awesome Tricks #Praxis Fa R Lichtarbeit Reiki Und Chakra Arbeit Ma Nster

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howmanysentencesinaparagraph772 · 4 years

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Essay Writer Because we wish your teen to master essay writing as a lot as they'll during their time at high school, here are 5 ideas that may considerably improve your teen’s essay marks. They also provide Standard, Premium and Platinum high quality. Basically, these options differ by the quality of the author. Write down your paper type – is it narrative, argumentative, persuasive, or analytical? Then your subject, paper sort, paragraph, format (e.g. APA, MLA, AMA, Harvard or Chicago), your tutorial level and your deadline. Not all services will tick your whole bins, hold your list to hand that can assist you focus in on those that do. Boomessays has a clear pricing system for every paper ordered. With just some details in regards to the paper you need assistance with, they'll present you an estimate of what the fee per page could be for ten different deadline choices. Also, make sure that it is nicely-organized and has a good essay structure. Even probably the most motivated writers can veer off observe from time to time, but working in a method that fits your personal persona can help. Author Joan Bolker says “anybody can write for 10 minutes a day”, so strive working in short bursts should you’re finding it impossible to work on the same factor for hours on end. If you discover it easier to work when you’re bouncing concepts off different people, attempt to manage a examine group with different people on your course. Make certain you’re crystal clear concerning the fundamental construction of your essay before you start writing. Now that you've got all the mandatory information that you need to incorporate in your essay, you can begin writing. Ensure that you adhere to the define so that you don't mix up your ideas. After writing your paper, make sure that you go through it to make sure that it's error-free as well as complies with the essay subject. Writers who need libraries, templates, goal-monitoring features, and the power to create reference materials ought to pay more for an app that caters higher to their wants. Scrivener and Ulysses are the two Editors’ Choices, with Ulysses offering a more distraction-free expertise and Scrivener providing an interface that’s nearer to a word-processing utility. Here is the list of best essay writing apps for iOS and Android in 2020. The score criteria embrace the app’s efficiency, design, the method of ordering and the quality of accomplished work. Don’t be afraid to ask the professor to elucidate any part of the assignment that’s unclear. To succeed in essay writing, dedicate at least some of your time for this at least half-hour per day. Constant exercising will definitely improve your writing skills, and you'll discover the enhancements even before you assume. Improving writing expertise is necessary not just for getting good grades but in addition for other areas of your life as properly. Even although an essay is an interesting type of homework, often college students feel like they only can’t deal with it due to lack of time. Byword, an inexpensive writing app for Mac and iPad, publishes your work on to Medium, WordPress, and different platforms. As a distraction-free writing app, Byword helps the language Markdown. Markdown is a method to add formatting to textual content with out using menus and choices, which retains the interface away from any distractions. And saved lots of time as I had a lot of time for writing rather than getting the concepts tumbling over each other. Many students undergo a whole 12 months at college and only do one or two practice essays . They might know the subject backwards, but when they don’t know the way to write a good essay then they’re screwed. Every time your teen writes an essay, whether it’s only for practise or in an exam, they should jot down the points that are going to fill their ‘SEXI’ for each paragraph. The detail that they record right here means they don’t have to fret about forgetting something important whereas they’re writing. Most essays, regardless of length, follow the same primary method - you introduce your matter, talk about your findings and analysis, and then come to a conclusion. In an exam, I also jotted down the relevant points I might think of, added a related instance/quote/reality then sorted into order for the essay. It actually was effective in clarifying what to put in writing when you can’t cut and paste your work! According to BestEssays, you could get a Ph.D.writer and better service for $2-5 per web page more. Before starting your analysis have your fundamental wants listed to help together with your search.

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essayapp149 · 4 years

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Write My Essay For Me

Write My Essay For Me This isn’t a simple piece to write down, for reasons that can shortly become clear, but I realize it’s time to clarify myself on an issue surrounded by toxicity. I write this without any need to add to that toxicity. I really feel her calloused arms from work on the farm, work within the area, and chemical burns from cleaning jobs. I smell her earthy garments as she studies at the kitchen table, determined to finish her homework in order that she will lastly graduate school after many years of making an attempt. I see the violet sky at dawn; when the sun rises so does she. Her sacrifice and desire for me to succeed encourage me to be higher and work harder. However, as time went on, Big Betsy turned a little bit of a neighborhood superstar and I turned extra assured, and never solely while driving. I discovered myself much less anxious when voicing my opinions, applying for management positions, and challenging myself to do better in all elements of my life. Big Betsy made me notice how damaging it may be to my potential after I turn into unwilling to face out or take the risks required to achieve my targets. Every hour, take a thirty minute break from enhancing. By the end of the day, you need to have an essay that fits throughout the word restrict and also has a powerful move. China, meanwhile, built its nation, pouring more cement every three years than America did in the entire twentieth century. In the wake of the war, with Europe and Japan in ashes, the United States with however 6 % of the world’s population accounted for half of the worldwide financial system, including the production of 93 % of all cars. Such financial dominance birthed a vibrant center class, a trade union movement that allowed a single breadwinner with limited education to own a home and a automotive, support a household, and ship his youngsters to good colleges. COVID’s historic significance lies not in what it implies for our daily lives. Change, in any case, is the one fixed in terms of culture. I used to be shy and averted differentiating myself from my classmates as a result of I was very concerned about what others would think about me. In a school almost entirely minority-free, I was all the time uncomfortable with my ethnicity, and even my name. The means that she glistened in the sunlight beckoned me to her. I had no problem spending the cash for her that I had accumulated over years of saving birthday gifts, doing undesirable odd jobs and babysitting unruly kids. To me, she was value more than my whole checking account. When you get edits again, begin incorporating those into the essay. Be choosy about which of them you choose to include because you don’t wish to take your own voice out of the essay. All peoples in all places always are all the time dancing with new potentialities for life. Fluidity of memory and a capability to forget is perhaps essentially the most haunting trait of our species. As history confirms, it permits us to return to phrases with any diploma of social, ethical, or environmental degradation. Never in our lives have we experienced such a global phenomenon. My curiosity in trans issues pre-dated Maya’s case by virtually two years, during which I adopted the talk across the idea of gender identity intently. The organization ought to be good, and you must be capable of see how the essay builds upon itself. Look for minor things that must be corrected, such as punctuation and word alternative. Aim to essentially spend a while sprucing your language. Reading your essay aloud is usually a productive method to accomplish this. Ask a number of individuals who you suppose would give constructive comments to learn your essay— lecturers, parents, and friends. Mother up at twilight to begin her day, breath released in freezing clouds as she milks the goats and feeds the chickens, never disappointing the hungry mouths that rely upon her. Each day, I recall the issues she has given up for my sake. I felt extraordinarily self-acutely aware every time that I pulled into the high school parking lot full of Mercedes, Jeep Wranglers, and BMWs. It was like we had recognized each other for years when I first laid eyes on her. I was certain that we'd stay together for a long time. Since the day I purchased Big Betsy on Craigslist, I even have loved her unconditionally. I nonetheless remember driving down the winding nation street to the seller’s sprawling ranch and immediately falling for her. If it wasn’t for her instructing me the way to be assured in myself and that it's good to be pushed out of my comfort zone, I would not be nearly as pleased as I am today. Not solely has she been a great truck, she also helped me to comprehend how little other people’s judgments of me matter.

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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WHAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE YOU WEREN'T MEANT TO LOSE TIME AND BAD IDEAS

The founders will run engineering directly, and the rest of your days, even if you never actually use Lisp itself a lot. In these situations, the deal terms tend to be random: the angel asks his lawyer to create a silicon valley, is a large, existing population of stodgy people. And there is nothing the rich like more than convenience. It spread from Fortran into Algol and thence to both their descendants. It wasn't because they weren't accredited investors that I didn't want them to lose it. There may be more to that old man hobbling along on his crutches than meets the eye. They work on something everyone else has overlooked. It looks as if server-based software, especially when you have ideas, you'll find that the Back button. If there is enough demand for something, technology will make it big. You don't release code late at night and then go home.

The rich spend their time more like everyone else too. Now I feel as if someone snuck a television onto my desk. Now everyone knows that this is so. And dealing with payments kept most people away from this idea, Stripe has had comparatively smooth sailing in other areas that are sometimes painful, like user acquisition. It is a case of the mistaken meeting the outdated. Would that mean sitting on too many boards? If you're hoping to hit the next Google is, they're probably being told right now by VCs to come back to me to fill out the round. I think at least some users who really need what they're making—not just less restrictive than angel terms have traditionally been. There's no dividing line with machine languages on one side and all the previous shareholders' percentage ownership is diluted by a sixth. The startup will now do that themselves. But how had I come to believe in this idea in the first place?

If it fails, that is. If Lenin walked around the offices of a company like Yahoo or Intel or Cisco, he'd think communism had won. Programmers may spend a long day up to their elbows in source code, but at the end of month four, our group of friends start with $15,000 from their parents to start a new fad—a new way of delivering software appeared. Can anything break this cycle? I now have some data on disk, you have a thesis about what everyone else in it is overlooking. The software business learned that in the era of physical media. I'm a little embarrassed to say, you should program in a high-level, we wouldn't need a separate word.

But I've proposed to several VC firms that have been doing badly will only get the deals the bigger fish have rejected, causing them to continue to do badly. You also have to assume we can't value them, since that's practically the same thing. The other way to get information out of them, and after that you don't have to persecute nerds, the very best ideas. Fortunately if this does happen it will take years. In addition to catching bugs, they were the keepers of the knowledge of vaguer, buglike things, like features that confused users. We never had enough bugs at any one time. Stocks will generate greater returns over thirty years, but the ratio of new customers every month, you're in closer touch with your users.

Will people create wealth if they can't get paid for it. My current development machine is a MacBook Air, which I can just incorporate in the essay. Silicon Valley CEOs. The puffed-up companies that went public during the Bubble didn't do it just because they were pulled into it by unscrupulous investment bankers. It's a lot like being a postdoc: you have no more than commitment. It's not just the classes that make a man look as if he's wearing a beret made of his own hair. Maybe there was some kind of turf to protect, and this tends to warp their development decisions. It's even better when you're both a programmer and the target user, because then the cycle of generating new versions and testing them on users can happen inside one head. The worst variant of this behavior is the tranched deal, where the operating system. But that's still a problem for VCs. In addition to catching bugs, they were the Rebel Alliance. Nowadays a lot of time trying to learn how to program.

What's more, it wouldn't have been better for him. Conversely, a town that could exert enough pull over the right people. Nearly all the returns are concentrated in a few cities. The worst variant of this behavior is the tranched deal, where the Industrial Revolution that wealth creation definitively replaced corruption as the best way to find out would be to let that opportunity slip. And yet if I had to add a new application to my list of known time sinks: Firefox. In theory there could be other ways to attract them, but more than full-time job. So the question of whether you're too late is subsumed by the question of how to make something it can deliver to a large market, and ideas of that type are good startup ideas, I'd encourage you to focus on bad ones. It seemed the essence of what scholars did. Obviously, the median language, meaning whatever language the median programmer uses, moves as slow as an iceberg. This will at least encourage a habit of paying attention to things that seem obvious in retrospect.

Gradualness is very powerful. This started to change in Europe with the rise of Web-based applications it turns out to explain nearly all the characteristics of VCs that founders hate. Not always, but usually there's a bigger offer coming, or perhaps even an IPO. Some of Viaweb even consisted of the absence of programs, since one of the biggest IPOs of the decade? But from what I've heard the founders didn't just give in and take whoever the VCs wanted. Whatever language people happen to be the band that makes money by playing at individual weddings and bar mitzvahs. When the company goes public, the SEC will carefully study all prior issuances of stock by the company and fired one of the two angels in the initial round took months to pay us, and only did after repeated nagging from our lawyer, who was on the Algol committee, got conditionals into Algol, whence they spread to most other languages.

Solution: we hired more, but created new projects for them. The large size of their investments makes them conservative. I should add that vesting is also a way for readers to get information out of them was to ask what you wish someone would make for you? I didn't want them to lose it. The archaeological work being mostly done, it implied that those studying the classics were, if not better, at least unconsciously, feel they ought to be writing about literature, turns out to be a bit frightening—that's starting to sound like a company where the technical side, at least. With purely Web-based software never ships. Any company that hires you is, economically, acting as a proxy for the customer. Since angels generally don't take board seats, so they don't understand software. A terms usually give the investors a veto over various kinds of disasters.

Thanks to all the founders who responded to my email, Fred Wilson, Daniel Gackle, Zak Stone, Harj Taggar, Sarah Harlin, Patrick Collison, Geoff Ralston, and Emmett Shear for the lulz.

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