#i dunno more like me being tired

[conduitandconjurer]

Hi! Sorry I took so long to share. This is the picture from season 4:

https://www.instagram.com/p/C2zsCNAr8tT/?igsh=MTNrajRhM3R3aXM4dg==

I’m not sure if links work through asks but the official account (umbrellaacad) posted it on instagram. I don’t think having an account is necessary to be able to see it.

It worked, thanks, friend!!!

Hm. Hmmm. Yeah that...is a thing that they posted. Huh. lol.

I mean. This will seem shallow, but Klaus's appearance has always seemed intentionally tied to his inner emotional and psychological (and yes, spiritual) journey--his tattoos alone attest to that--so I think I'm particularly critical of what doesn't seem aligned to his character development visually. That said, I can see how he'd maybe revert to a point in his life when he chopped off and straightened his BEAUTIFUL CURLY hair ( =_=;;;; lol) since the excruciating journey he just embarked upon in order to START seeing himself as worth more than the mastery of his powers ...has kind of been...nullified lol by losing them (I get it, it's a Gerard Way esque thing to be totally nihilistic). Klaus may feel as if he can go back to his younger years (the tennish years preceding the start of Season One) and relive them totally detoxed, harm to his brain and organs also reset, sober. And that's valid, plus I know Klaus has a penchant for going through phases to distract himself from his real problems.

Which is why I'm So Tired™ when I see the nitrile gloves. They have to be in a "still-no-powers" timeline in this shot because Luther is still not fused with ape DNA. I am guessing this is going to be some kind of dumbass ableist gag (lbr, TUA has never cared about stepping right in it when it comes to ableist tropes) a la Adrian Monk and "hoho haha, compounded, severe and complex trauma gave him germaphobic OCD!" (in Klaus's case, because he now has remembered all the murder-experiments Reg did on him in the crypt, and he's no longer immortal, so that makes him hyper-aware of anything that could kill him without his safety net). On the one hand, if this is true I'm happy he has something to lose and therefore cares about how to spend his limited remaining days. On the other hand, no, I don't want Klaus to die, I want him to still have his powers but also CHOOSE to do the work of slowly recognizing he doesn't need them to be worthy of unconditional love.

Is the potential germaphobia good writing? Probably, in many respects.

Is it what I want, because I'm a soft-touch who just wants to see her favs heal because it gives her comfort? Nah.

Is reducing Klaus and his character development to a punchline what I want? God no. I'm so tired of it. I don't care how satirical the show is. Pick on someone else, lmao. I know he's the fandom fav which translates somehow into making him the target for the worst disastrous twists, but LET THE DUMB GAY DANDELION REST.

I saw someone write an alternate theory which I now have forgotten but I KNOW I reblogged it so please feel free to go digging in my reblogs.

Other thoughts: You can tell by the way he's the only one looking a different direction, Five is still the real leader, and I'm glad Luther gave up on that, bc he's Ferdinand the Bull and it doesn't suit him to be all stressed out and bossy. He picks up siblings and throws them down stairs or strangles them when he's overwhelmed, haha DDDDD: Anyway, poor Fivey never wears civilian clothes, except that One Time when he and Klaus went looking for Klaus's birthmother (they are good for each other and need to just like...get in a fucking car and leave again. LOL).

Ben and Viktor look hot but also confused which, fair, especially in Ben's case since he's a Sparrow and a moody Edgelord who needs hugs, lol. And possibly a more dangerous enemy than Reginald, which I frankly hope brings out Klaus's "I'm a big harmless sweetheart who finally snapped a la Katara bloodbending in Avatar" moment. I Need It. Literally every other sibling has had the chance at a minor nervous breakdown, come on. Let Klaus not be okay and acknowldge it to anyone who'll listen! And yeah I know his siblings all love him, I've never disputed that once. Sometimes love ain't enough, and needs to pair up with respect. Sad but realistic truth.

Finally, I wanna know if Allison has reconciled with the family and if so, how. She is fascinating and I think her villain era in s3 was 100 percent in alignment with her character development and her lifelong issues with consent (also Reginald's fault!)

This all came out spicier than I meant LOL. Im not snarking at you, anon, I swear. Thanks for sharing <3 I just expect VERY little out of Season 4. Hopefully I'll be wrong! I was similarly wrong with the Loki series, which gsve me a perfect final-arc scenario for my favorite character of all time.

#Anonymous #meta #i dunno more like me being tired #sorry if this is #negative cw #tua spoilers

[theloveinc]

barbarian!bakugo + buying apples. you’ll notice I didn’t put any work into this making it more … fantasy-like. And that’s bc… I still couldn’t figure out how😞

(warning: misogyny, you are described as a maiden / dress wearing, you have a pa, world building sucks, bakugo … doesn’t talk)

-

Being the only maiden on one of barbarian!Bakugo’s cross country journeys. I’m not sure yet how or why you’re there, but I’d say he’s traveling and one of his fellow clansmen took you as a prize, or maybe you just hitched a ride on their cart yourself.

But they stop in a small village one day, parking their horses at the edge of a town square of cobblestone and brick, merchant booths surrounding the small shops: of butchers and farmers and fishermen and traders, all rowdy and beaming as they show off their wares.

The men split up (the one with green hair in a leather vest declaring he needs a blacksmith, the lanky one with dark bangs in the direction of new snare wire), though the bulky blonde one (the one in thick furs and pelts who’s never really spoken to you) stays around, picking at the shiny, pink apples of a booth quite close to where the cart you sit on in boredom is parked.

“Five gold for a sack, sir” the man behind the creaky, wooden stand says. He’s stout, thin-haired and wrinkly, all his years in the sun selling fruit showing proudly on his tanned skin. He gestures to the wide array of fruits, each like a piece of candy he wants to show off.

Bakugo (you think his name his, or rather, that’s how he was introduced to you by the redhead with unnaturally sharp teeth, biggest of the group) glances up, frown thin and tense and blood red eyes narrowed. His shoulders shift, the muscles of his exposed stomach rippling as he breathes, the smooth skin of his forehead pinching as if he’s calculating a sale just as he would any other battle or raid.

The sign next to both the men clearly states that apples are two gold a sack. Pears are three, plums are one. “But I’ll give you a deal for four gold,” the man continues.

The blonde ponders, inspecting the apples diligently as if they could be poison, or a waste of a trade. His eyes narrow slightly, lips pursing, and you realize, in his reaching for coin, the intuition he so usually takes pride in (saving the men once from a brutal hound attack, and you, too, another time when a swamp dweller caught the hem of your trousers) is not there… and that they don’t use the same alphabet. Maybe he can’t even… read.

“For two gold,” you call.

Both parties look to you. One set of eyes in an suspicious glare, the other in a tart and angry bitterness. The merchant’s leathery face sinks into a melted frown, his fists clenching as your own hand shields your eyes from the bright sun and hides a protective squint.

“Didn’t your pa ever tell you not to meddle in grown men’s business?” he half-shouts back, the laugh in his voice now tangled with a snarl, downright and plain rude.

“The sign says two,” swinging off your seat, you smooth down your simple frock as you point to the wooden board stained with charcoal that’s hung up next to him. “One sack of apples for two gold.”

Bakugo’s eyebrows raise for the briefest of seconds, then fall in another glare as his hand drops from where he holds his coin (in small, canvas bag tied to his belt with thin, leather cord. It sags against his hip, his pants dipping and uncovering a v-line that descends further into a region you’ve only seen once; at a bathing river in the hills, the bare curve and marks of your own hips exposed—)

“Don’t know where you picked up letters, missy,” the merchant scoffs. “Reading is men’s work.”

You approach the barbarian’s side, his head (messy with hair) tilted towards you as he watches on in silence. From the pocket of your dress, you take out two gold of your own and flick them on the table before you.

“My pa taught me how.”

Then you take Bakugo’s hand (thick and rough and hard to hold) in one of yours and march right back to the horses and cart. Bag of sweet, pink apples in the other.

#bakugou x reader #Bakugo #I am so lazy #I just wanted to post this lmfao sorry if it’s sucks #will fix any mistakes soon! #I’ve just been caught up in this weird fantasy of like…. being captured by some barbarians and surprising them with your sophistication #and saving them from some weird sh*t #I think it would surprise Barbarry Bakugo if u like . could read and he couldn’t #but this is like. a bad representation of that LOL #idk why I’m having so much trouble with the fantasy set up #gusss well just have to deal #dunno .. I have no concept of anything #anyway this was kind of a shout out to my own dad #whos an alc*holic n*mbskull hillbilly b*astard dropout but wanted me to be educated and cultured more than anything growing up #so weird #i must be so tired to be telling u all this… or it’s the lexapro #either way ENJOY SORRY #I miss and love u all #caitie post #gen

[artheresy]

An argument over whether or not Dan Heng is Dan Feng seems to have begun getting sparked again in certain parts of the Fandom and it does nothing but hurt my head to no end

Both sides cherrypicking or treating it like a strange situation, making false equivalents. "Yknow governments don't consider people who've lost their memories to be separate people" that's a flawed argument to use in favorite of DH = DF because it's not just he lost his memories. He literally grew up, experienced his own childhood, had a whole identity cultivated based on those experiences and that life and continues to live his own life. To treat the situation like it's just him getting a bit of amnesia is wild to me

But also I hate when people continue to insist he's running from Dan Feng and his past and how he's miserable and shouldn't ever confront the past and deal with it as if his and Blade's whole stories aren't centered around rebirth and karma, paying for your past life's karma. He needed to confront the past to ensure a freer future! He literally has!! And he will continue to do so because he realizes this, DH isn't dumb and he's grown since we first saw him. He understands

But yeah uh I'm so tired

This whole thing feels very Ship of Theseus. What makes the ship what it is, the physical aspects of its planks, its sailing history, or both?

For him, the question is what makes someone who they are? Is it the body that makes them up and any inherent genetic factors (like traits)? Is it their experiences, how they've grown up, and the identity they've developed in that time? Or is it both factors mixed together?

Personally in the case of Dan Heng, I think it's both! Yeah he has a lot of traits from Dan Feng. There's a lot inherently there. But we can't disregard his own experiences and the identity that has formed based on his history and what he's seen.

Again I can't stress this enough... It is a false equivalent to compare him to people who lose their memories or get amnesia, he didn't just lose those memories. He started life from the beginning, a whole different kind of life. And even then, the amnesia topic comes with its own debates. Isn't there a whole other thought experiment regarding someone put to trial who ends up with amnesia and what their verdict should be?

I guess in the end, it's all up to people's own philosophical beliefs after what constitutes a person. My personal belief that DH and DF will always be connect but the separation between them is also meaningful is something based on my own ideas of what consisitutes a person and their individual identity, similar situation with how I see Rukkhadevata and Nahida as connected but still not the same person exactly. At the end of the day again, it's personal beliefs

But what I can't stand and can't stand by, is someone acting all high and mighty like they're perfectly right and everyone else is wrong, especially when they're cherrypicking or not holding all their evidence to the same standard. According to some ppl, apparently it's better in the CN fandom where instead of treating it like "I'm right you're wrong" people have divided themselves into "DF and DH one person" and "DF and DH two people" groups and most importantly of all, they treat both like theories and just keep to their space and tag which they believe when it's relevant. Why can't we just do that? Why can't we follow in their footsteps instead of bringing up this argument every so often with the same tired flaws from both sides?

#Lore discussion in this community can be so tiring #I wish more people would be open to their viewpoint being challenged instead of believing they can never ever be wrong #And seeing people throw out wild accusations #Like someone saying people are transphobic if they believe dh is df like what? #I get it if you identity with dh and read it as a trans narrative personally even if I dont #Doesn't mean you can call people transphobic over it #I dunno I'm tired #Everything I see this topic I get mad #“He says you're my past in the ichor of two dragons!!” #He also says right after “But you won't follow me into my future” so your point is? #Additionally if we're being 100% real that animation feels like it's less about his rejection and eventual acceptance of DF specifically #It feels more so like his rejection of the role of Imbibitor Lunae given what I've talked about about the DF being there would never say #Any of those things how it's based on his biased view of him and is a projection of things he was told growing up likely #So I'm tired #One of the only good arguments I've ever seen to say DH is DF is in regards to how he clings to DF's old stuff #I have things to say about it personally #But it's a MILES better argument than some of the other ones I've seen and even then my arguments against it would still be an up for #Interpretation kind of thing like the initial argument rather than pointing out someone is looking at the full picture #Again I respect how people see it! Believe what you want to believe about it again it's all about our own perspectives #Just don't be a dick to people on either side if you don't agree with them #Dan heng #Dan feng #Hsr #Honkai star rail

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like??? #this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms. #but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again #but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags #(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now #but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao) #so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t #anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable #and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it #her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night #but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt #or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort #and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person #and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal #as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward #i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer #but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been #either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing #i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever #also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway #sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation #i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me #but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still) #plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down #so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again #but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to #anyway. i think that’s all i have to say! #i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open #love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶 #bella talks

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t. #it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

[doodlboy]

[crumbles into a pile of dust]

goodnight

#still doin real bad #heart hurts #emotionally and physically #im real fuckin sad folks #the medication is not in fact helping #im still real pissed they only gave me medicine for my mental health issues with the condition of me having to go to college #if i stop my application process they stop medicating me [they being my doctor] #and both my doctor and therapist don't think I have adhd ir autism at all but like- man i live in my body and ik something is fucked up #just gave me stuff to make me feel better about it- like a reassurance thing rather than a actually medicating me 4 my issues thing #im tired #and sad #more than sad. severely depressed and its taking a toll of my health bc im gettin sick more often now and i eat less and less #im- man i dunno. tired doesn't even sum it up anymore but its the only thing i can think of #anyway gn #✌💙🌙 #elliot rambles

[sea-jello]

i have now finished 4 full productions of be more chill and counting before i can even get to the second act of broadway

#2r australia lights up production and now london #THERES JUST SOMETHING PREVENTING ME FROM FINISHING BWAY IDFK #i always fizzle out during upgrade i dont like bway upgrade for some reason #like yes it gave everyone personality and thats great but i just dont like it #but i cant SKIP it cause i HAVE to watch all of it #i think the overlapping 'tired of being the person' freaks me out a bit #i say 'and counting' cause im trudging through exit 82 #im getting there #i even finished six first #and i knew nothing about it #six is fun i like six #bmc #be more chill #bmc musical #be more chill musical #i dunno #bmc broadway

[sysig]

Today: Teeth hurt, batteries are sold exorbitantly but only in person, and I think I have Tamagotchis now

#''I think'' because I haven't opened it yet because I want to record but I am Tired as heck #From the aforementioned battery expedition #But it does look Suspiciously like the type of package that would contain multiple Tamagotchis and a singular volume of manga #Considering it is literally labeled ''Book Game Player Game Player Game Player Game Player'' and then some Kanji lol #I am excited ♪ But that excitement is tempered by the fact that the batteries I was looking for was for these children #And in person they are marked up Ridiculously like - lemme do some quick math #By a markup of like 6x! Times six!! The scamology! The rip-off-edness! Rudest! #So I'mma go ahead and Not pay 6x what I can get them for otherwise #Ugh if my employer had paid me tho there was a 3DS XL at our favourite game shop and it was at a really good price hnnnggg #I was responsible and got a new cord for my tablet instead (for a much lower price lol but still!) but hrngnrhng it was really tempting #If it's still there next time I dunno #I really miss my 3DS :( I wish I knew where it was #Oh yeah and I finally found sheet sticker paper! Why was it so hard to find just normal sheets??? Well whatever I have now so it's fine #I can print the Bucket sticker and go stick it on a bucket hehehehe #The purchasing part is great the spending money thing hmmm hmmmmmm #Lol #It wouldn't be an issue if I was being paid a bit more regularly but also had a higher income lol #I do enjoy shopping outings tho

[glitter50000]

bitches be getting so happy watching the darkling being portrayed as a villain and a toxic lover. It’s me, I’m bitches

#I won with this season in so many ways #Like just watching him be all fucked up and evil I loved seeing it #I love watching his POV and agreeing with him sometimes but also just being like “you bitch” as well #And the way how he was with Alina made my hair stand up as it should and I’m glad it did #I dunno it’s just more fun to me to see him as a villain cause then those moments of humanization really just shine through for me #And I just never really liked when ppl would say how he wasn’t one just because of his cause or his past #And I agree it’s not for his cause that he’s a villain but his actions instead #The thing is saying he’s not a villain is like erasing all the ugly traits he has when those traits help make up his character to me #Like he wanted to help and he wants love but he’s clingy he’s needy he’s lonely he’s delusional he’s got little to none morals he’s tired #He’s fucking pissed he’s possessive cause he had nothing and he’s saying fuck this country actually #It’s having more then 400 years of vengeance and hatred just boiling in you because you saw the worst this country offered #It’s him being like “you are going to like what I am doing for us even if I have to shove it down your stupid throat” #It’s how he was a good person and he was trying to help at one point but overtime it just became “my way is the right way and the ONLY way” #He uses fear because it’s easier and he was taught long long ago that it’s a powerful ally #but something he forgot is that use it too much and now it’s a double edge sword #sab spoilers #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone season 2 #aleksander morozova #Does this make sense? #Like it’s not JUST Ravka’s corrupt system that made him who he is it’s himself as well so to say he isn’t a villain or an antagonist or #that it’s just Ravka’s fault is I dunno I guess erasing his part and his choices to me in doing this #Like the whole thing is that he doesn’t want redemption nor does he ask to be forgiven

[convxction]

The a/dventure of M/erlin but awakening

Magic is banned

Chrom is saved countless of times by robins’ magic and they all agree that chrom got a god like luck to be saved by random things lol can u believe it? Wow

Robin has to keep a low profile otherwise plegia be like haha bitch can use magic arrest them lol

When chrom is stabbed he just oh. Magic. Neat. Ok. I'm dying. Oops I fucked up. Robin it is not your fault friendo I'm dumb. I wish I could had more time to tell others that magic is not entirely bad ...Bye.

Magic magic and boom everything is saved. somehow. idk.

hello, accepting plotting ideas around this topic come at me. i will come at you when i am alive.

#⚔ooc.⚔ (faty speaks) #[i wrote this two days at 7 am and forgot about it wow #[it just struck me like ..why not??? #[krumb father fought pl/egia for magic and banned it in y/lisse despite the good of healing magic and stuff #[no magic means no magic. people got sent to the chobby chobby for saying they like magic #[emmy tried to change the view but she was more concerned maybe with calming the war before ??? that???????? idk we can talk about it #[krumb is like .......dunno i can see magic being bad but......... swords are bad u know?????? #[why wont we ban swords too? i mean i will die if i dont have a sword but ...justice???? ban magic ban all weapons right? #[anyway. my brain functions are like .... -50% nowadays #[because i 'teach' english im kind of .....tired of seeing english thats why i cant write these days ;a; #[so much english my brain is tapping out

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be #like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now #maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy #im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when #im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck #but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak #thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just #wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive #been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work #my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes #and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over #the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and #talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place. #could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it #so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree #inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im #glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of #couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot #unrelated #its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment #and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i #dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it

[ihatebnha]

what do you mean ‘ uninclusive of your thoughts? ‘ (genuine)

I guess I was sorta just riffing because I don’t really mean any offense by this but, uh… sometimes I think people can be slightly/somewhat/really mean to their anons, even over stuff that’s totally not a big deal.

And it’s not really like… anyone’s fault, per say… but I think anons provide a lot to blogs so… not considering their thoughts (whether they’re thirsts or actual feedback)… can come off as rude.

“Uninclusive” as in… not taking serious, partially.

#me: has other asks to answer #me: I’ll just do them tomorrow #me: sees this #me: ok I’ll respond #LOOOOL #but yeah idk #it’s a lot more complex than this and doesn’t happen all the time but #i feel like anons get a lot of sh*t that isn’t deserved #like people being nasty for no reason #or sorta… unresponsive to ideas that obviously are cared about #it’s one thing not write something for any reason #but it’s another to publicize that sentiment #dunno #doesn’t happen always and it can be justified but #I find it very tiring to witness #maybe that’s why I run a blog #but I’m not sure #and I’m not sure how many people agree (hence why I asked) so i don’t need to unpack it all #hope this helped! <3 #ask #anon #caitie chats

[keeps-ache]

HELLOOOOOOO WORLD [swings golf club towards the globe]

#just me hi #[it makes a really weird 'clonk' sound] #hi :> #i have eaten some vegi tables so i am Nourished!! i am Gassed! i've been Fueled! #not really tho i'm still a sleepy tired person of a blob :) #but at least i've been Fed :) #i also had a donut so that's nice #i'm gonna start sketching a silly ha-ha piece so i'll be back in maybe an hour w/ it if i can :D #also i dunno how but i ended up talking to my little sister about the backstory of one of my characters and she is Appalled with it lol #she keeps going 'but why did (this awful thing) happen to them???' and i get to say something along the lines of #'i dunno people suck sometimes and i like to make sucky backstories. wanna see them as a baby? :))) #' #kinda funny if you ask me #but anyway a neat thing that happened last night i had a Sentence pop into my mind and i wrote it down in the pitch-black dark #and i woke up the morning to find it more legible than anything i write when i can see it lol ;;;u;;; #one of the words very cleanly fades into being very light to average-darkness too which is nice #neat stuff :) #anyway gonna go find some ~music~ to listen to .u. #or maybe just like a video that's a couple hours long idk #it's harder to find videos like that on topics i like :/ #but ye #toodles i'll see you in the Between :D

[kelprot-old]

once or twice a day i’ll think abt how much i despise tiktok and everything it tries to do and i have 2 put my head in my fuckign hands its like a psychic attack or some shit its so visceral

#I HATE TIKTOK I HATE TWITTER I HATE ALGORITHMS AND SHORT FORM VIDEO AND TEXT #also a little miffed at ppl who go on abt how flawless tumblr is in comparison. bc. yea its better but. its still a Social Media at its core #just because it's better doesn't make it immune from the same faults that u tear down the opposition for. there's no ''good guys'' here #idk. i get the alternatives are technically worse. at least to me. but i feel like ppl just dont want to examine that tumblr is. ehhh. well #dunno. im tired #im just so so sick of how we're basically being encouraged to. not COMBINE ourselves with technology. but it feels like that sometimes #you are you when you're online. no more anonymity. sell yourself. sell your Content. make something of yourself share everything #turn your life and its every mundane moment into profit. likes and comments and addiction and gambling and refreshing for one more hit

[loregoddess]

oh I might actually be a little lactose intolerant huh

#ate cheese w/out eating my lactose pill and uh... #not feeling great #not in the most pain I've been in in the last week but definitely in some pain #god I hate this I can't seem to figure out which foods cause me pain and which don't bc I seem to be in some pain no matter what I eat #like I was doing FINE eating most of these foods this time last year #I dunno what happened but I am so tired of being in pain nearly every day like #can I go a more than a day w/out pain? please? can I get through a work week w/out pain? PLEASE? #sorry to vent I'm not even in that bad of pain tonight I'm just...tired #oracle of lore