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dollfaceirene · 2 months

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MINDSET&MANIFESTING: BULKAFFIRMATIONS ✩ৎ (001)

add these affirmations to your vision boards, affirmation tapes or whatevs

⋆ STRUGGLING WITH SEEKING VALIDATION IN YOUR 4D/IMAGINATION??

I only seek validation in my imagination

I am calm knowing that my only source of validation is my imagination

the imagination is where i seek evidence of my desires, not my 3D

i am chill knowing my dominant thoughts materialise into reality

i identify with having (insert desire)

I am unphased by the 3D

⋆ SCARED THE 3D WON'T CONFORM??

i am calm knowing that my desires will materialise into the 3D so i only seek validation in my imagination

the 3D simply obeys my dominant thoughts

my 3D seeks validation from my dominant thoughts, not the other way round lol

i don't worry as my dominant thoughts inevitably materialise into the 3D so i only focusing on identifying with that i want

⋆ ANXIOUS YOU NEED THE 'PERFECT' MINDSET TO MANIFEST?

i am calm knowing that i inevitably get what i want even if i have doubts and intrusive thoughts

even if my mindset was shitty, i will still inevitably get what i want

even if im anxious, stressed, etc, i will still inevitably get what i want

i am calm knowing that absolutely nothing can sabotage me from getting what i want

nothing can ruin my manifestations

why worry when i know that i simply don't identify with doubts and intrusive thoughts and that

⋆ STRUGGLING WITH PERSISTING&DISCIPLINE?

i dont care, i already have what i want

i stand firm in the fact i already have what i want

i deal with zero resistance when it comes to persisiting

i already have what i want

me, waver? nuh uh, i stand firm in my decision

⋆ SELF CONCEPT

i have the most unbreakable self concept

i love how my self concept is just effortlessly perfect

my self concept is better than my fav loa bloggers' mindsets

self concept so good neville took notes from me

i love how the ideal self concept is basically mine

⋆ FEEL OBSESSED W/ UR DESIRES (& FEEL LIKE IT IS MAKING U STRESSED?)

i have detached from my desires knowing its done

i dont need to think of my desires 25/8 because i already have them

its so easy from me to detach from my desire

⋆ MANIFESTING?

manifesting is so easy for me

i love how easily i get whatever i want

im pratically spoiled in my reality

⋆ OTHERS&

i natrually persist in my desires on default

i have mental stability

i feel fulfilled instantly

i have my perfect life

everything works in my favour

stay limitless yall! xoxo, irene

gonna manifest this cute ass bag

#desired reality #law of assumption #shifting #dollfaceirene #loa tumblr #manifestation #loa #loa blog #loassumption #neville goddard #affirmations #loaffirmations

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n3xii · 9 months

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Pick a card ~ What's your archetype + your storyline

Hey guys, i wanted to do a reading that illustrates your current life situation through the lenses of archetypes and storytelling. today, you have three piles to choose from; your reading will tell you what archetype you are embodying at this moment and the specific storyline that may play out in the context of this archetype.

An archetype is a recurring symbol or motif throughout literature and media. it's the primordial mental image inherited from our ancestors that categorize people into vague ideas or concepts. According to Carl Jung, an estabkished psychologist and psychoanalyst, it's said that we all have a collective unconscious understanding of all these archetypes that we can tap into for various purposes. for example, if you've ever heard of the ''shadow self'' then you've already encountered a Jungian archetype, this archetype is meant to help us confront deeper, hidden parts of ourselves that we tucked away.

One single archetype may not describe you perfectly, as archetypes can be dynamic and ever becoming, so let this reading be a soundboard for your own personal understanding of who you are and where you're going.

heres info about getting a reading from me: services

PILE ONE

your archetype- the nine of pentacles ''the independent woman''

this card portrays the archetype of a feminine who is self-reliant, independent and enjoys their own company. you do not have to be a woman for this archetype to apply, as archetypes describe ideas and motifs, not specific genders. this archetype also exudes a sense of inner peace and contentment: a person who embodies this archetype knows how to find the beauty around them, they know they can rely on themselves to provide stability and success through their own hard work. this archetype values autonomy, aesthetics, hard work, and solitude.

Your story line- 7 of pentacles, the fool, 4 of swords, judgement

your storyline is fixated on patience and waiting, at this point in your life you may feel that you're in the phase of growth and harvesting your wealth and abundance all around. You may feel you're on the ''brink'' of something taking off, I feel that your purpose deals with your ability to grow and assess yourself for progress. I feel like you're in the part of the story where the protagonist is experiencing frustration, they feel like they have put in the work but have yet to see substantial results from what they have done. you feel that you put in the work, you should see that manifest in the real world. your archetype is being moved in the direction of taking a leap of faith, of trusting the process blindly even though they dont know whats going to happen. you're the protagonist who places more faith what they can see rather than what they can sense, you're frustrated because you want to see results in the physical instead of trusting that movement is already happening behind the scenes. for you, having faith is the recurring lesson and momentum of your storyline. the climax of your storyline is represented by the 4 of swords. the 4 of swords is regularly a mundane card of rest and reflection, but for you, this is the cultivating event that occurs. as the hardworking, independent, self-reliant archetype, learning to take a break and reflect on where you are internally instead of trying to make movement happen in the physical world will feel very disorienting. its not so hard for you to be in solitiude, but to take a breather from pursuing goals and action is the hard part, and that precisely what i see as the climax of your storyline. taking time to reflect on yourself and go within the avenues of your mind is the inciting event, taking a break from movement will harden your sotryline into place. The conclusion or resolution of your storyline is represented by the judgement card. i feel this is a realization, a revelation that awakens you on a spiritual level. the momentum behind your storyline was learning to have faith, to trust the process despite not seeing evidence in the physical world. so i feel the ultimate conclusion for your protagonist is a spiritual or philosophical awakening. you will reach a higher level of understanding that allows you to contextualize your growth beyond what you can see. you will achieve a revolutionary understanding of yourself and of your growth.

PILE TWO

your archetype- ace of wands, the element of fire/ the seed

ok, for this pile. you are not honed into one archetype but rather an energy, or potential. you're characterized by the element of fire and smoke, you're chronically at the start of something new and you're at the start of realizing your own light. you're seed at the root of life. to be specific, you're the archetype of someone who can't be placed in a box or tamed by one image or phrase because you simply the potential, the energic seed. you cant be conceptualized, and perhaps your experience a feeling directionless in your life because of this. as the element of fire you have the option to destroy or enlighten. you can impassion or burn. its up to you.

your storyline- justice, 8 of cups, 9 of swords, knight of cups

your storyline is characterized by fairness, equity and making big important decisions about your life path. as someone who is simply the archetype of fire, of raw potential, your storyline is to make a choice of where you want to go on your path. but this choice is an important one and dictates the course of your life. the lesson you ultimately learn as the protagonist is when to move on and release certain things. truth and integrity is something you strive for on a deeper level, so making fair, descions based on clairty is something you value, so I feel like on your path, you will encounter the choice to leave something behind or to detach emotionally many times. this will be very difficult for you, but this theme of choosing when to leave and when to detach will be a recurring theme throughout your life. learning what your path is and taking action to stay committed to this journey is the lesson. and this choice will be a Indepth process of weighing out the pros and cons, of trying to do the right thing thats fair to yourself and other's. the climax of your storyline is represented by the nine of swords. this will be a very mentally choatic or active climax, and it will involve extreme anxiety and overthinking. ultimately however, your resolution is represented by the knight of cups. learning to lead with your emotions and to trust your intuition will be the ultimate outcome for you as the protagonist. trusting yourself with your own emotions and going with your instincts when it comes to what your path should be is the direction you are going.

PILE THREE

your archetype- the page of swords - young messenger, the spy.

the page of swords is young, open minded, smart, alert and very curious about their environment. traditionally speaking, the page of swords has been associated with the archetype of the spy; someone who can adapt to their surroundings and gather information as quickly as they can pass it on. you dont spy on people per say, but you do watch and observe others, you may act as a intermediatory between people for their communication, you're curious about the world and new ideas spiral around your mind like little nats. You're the archetype off someone enjoys mental stimulation, and you know how to find that stimulation in unconventional ways or without needing to actively engage with others all the time. You're alert of you're surroundings, details matter to you and you notice things other people don't because they're not quiet enough to pick up on it. You're the archetype of someone in their mind alot, soneone who may overthink or over analyze

Your storyline- the devil, death, 3 of wands, page of wands

You're in a place right now where you feel bondaged, stuck or held back. You may feel that there's hierachal or manipulative forces at play that are creating a shadow over your life, you may feel like there's not a lot of room to move around and do what you want because of illusions of control. This is the part of the story where the protagonist feels like a victim to their circumstances and they don't know how to wiggle out of them. However, im seeing that the lesson here is represented by the death card, which means the lesson you're learning is transformation. You're learning to release what doesn't have power over, illusions, and stagnant situations throughout your life. Death is a very humbling thing, the only thing we can take with us in death is ourselves. When you die, everything you've worked for will be dirt, and all you have is the core of your being You're overall lesson in the story is to release all the bondages snd attachments to things that aren't really apart of who you are. The climax of your storyline is represented by the three of wands. This tells me that the peak of the story arch is you moving, going new places, exploring and expanding past your comfort zone. The climax here is you taking action and experincing conplete freedom, going past boundaries and seizing new territory. The illusions and restrictions you experience mentally correspond to you're enviroment, you're the archetype of someone who is mentally stimulated, so when your enviroment is dull, restrictive and grey, you also feel like what's possible for you to equally restrained. When you release bondages to your ego, illusions of control and allow transformation to occur naturally, you reach new horizons. And I feel you may initiate alot of transformation through moving and traveling. The conclusion to your story arc is that of the page of wands, the page of wands is someone young or new to their craft. They're trying new hobbies and interests. They're putting themselves out there to learn and grow through the action they take. It's interesting, because you start out as a very mental, mind oriented archetype but I think by the time you move through life you will be a completely different archetype. Most people will be but its emphasized very much in your reading. The transformation and lessons of cycles ending will be imperative to your life purpose. You will be action oriented as opposed to mind oriented, you will not let blockages hold you back in life.

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crystalandbow · 12 days

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PICK A PILE🤍

CALL OUT EDITION

Pile 1 is beach, pile 2 is garden, pile 3 is swans. Take the reading with a grain of salt and only take what resonates 🤍

If you liked the reading, lmk! & Follow for more

Hello pile 1👋🏻

Or should I say hello my mama bears

lol anyways let's begin!!!

The cards that you got: 2 of swords, ace of coins, the emperor and the ace of cups.

Okie so The 2 of swords really sums it up for y'all, the others cards just confirm it more. like you guys are torn between 2 options/paths/things/ whatever. Making a decision is important because It seems like this has been on your mind for some time and is bugging you ? Taking up all your mental energy/stamina. *like a vampire/jk* most of y'all already know which path you want to choose but for some reason you haven't locked in your answers is what I am feeling. And now it's time to make a decision! It might be that you are afraid for some reason, you have this fear of what if things go wrong or something like that or it might be that you are unable to make a decision because both options seem equally tempting.

I think you can choose any path because they will have decent results. The advice or call-out message is that whatever you chose to do for your situation, stick with it. Its not about the options it's about you! The reason why I called you guys mama bear is because that is how you should deal with your current situation. Chose whichever path you want, fight or flight. But stick with it! Know that what you did was absolutely okay!! You have to embody the emperor's energy (of being bold and authoritative, because it is your life, do not fall for anything that doesn't feel right )

The ace of cups tells me that you guys should make a decision using your heart ( feelings & intuition) because afterall you know what's best for you! follow your intuition/gut feeling, don't be afraid of anything YOU ARE THE EMPEROR & YOU'VE GOT IT !

Keywords: stability, bravery & action. Facing fears/oppositions, gut feeling

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

Hello pile 2 👋🏻

Cards you got: 3 of cups, death, 2 of cups & 9 of cups

I'm getting the word "love potion" for guys, I mean we do have alot of cups *the 2,3 and nine of cups* woah! That's alot of emotions. I'm also getting the word "self acceptance" all the cards are so positive but it doesn't feel that good? Something feels heavy? And a Lil stressful yk? I think the message for you guys is opening up yourself.

Y'all might have the habit of guarding yourself, but many times sometimes you just end up over doing it, leaving you feeling sad? Y'all feel that you are different from others in a sad way and that you have to put up this "fake" self to fit in. You try to be like others / everybody around you in public and this needs to change, atleast your mindset that people won't accept you for who you are. Change is needed! Stop blaming it on other exteranl reasons. Do you even know who you actually are? Do you accept yourself? Do you love/care about yourself? Do you prioritise your needs first? Its not always others, sometimes it's our fault that we let people treat us like that! The two of cups imagery is giving me mirror energy, it looks like there's a mirror between the two peeps and they are actually the same person but also different at the same time like it's just their "other side" yk? How you view yourself, and how you let yourself be you truly. Love your inner child. Death talks about how you need to embrace all your different sides and be yourself, be unique & don't try very hard just to "fit in"

The nine of cups is here for advice and it talks about prioritising your needs first & putting yourself on the pedestal! Whether it be in romantic relationships or platonic or any relationship

Call-out message: DONT BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF let yourself be! Accept love, prioritise your emotional needs first!!!

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

Hello pile 3 👋🏻

Cards you got: the strength, justice, devil & the star.

Surprisingly all major arcanas😭I really wanna know what's going on with y'all. Like what MAJOR shit is going on lmao

Anyways here's my interpretation for you guys: you guys are working hard towards some goals of yours. I'm getting the vibes that the world told you what you think or thought once upon time is unrealistic and unachieveable but to you it feels like "inner- calling". you have started working towards it and might have achieved/ overcome certain milestones and mini achievements that you should be proud about and if not then you should know that they hard work that you have put in WILL workout and you will gain the fruits for you dedication. One thing you should possibly avoid is arrogance and / or greed attachments will be different for everybody, basically avoid the temptations of the devil. Don't believe you're at the top of the world and for some it's not getting overly obsessed with results,etc. Everything will workout at the right time. The justice card over here is likely talking about getting your results. Call-out message for y'all could be to choose the path of hard work & patience instead of shortcuts and unfair means. The star card is asking you to stay optimistic regarding your work to know that it will all be worth it, you will get your answers and result just keep working hard and have pure intentions

So yeah basically, just on the right track, keeping working hard, don't fall for temptations like shortcuts, procrastination, unfair means,etc be patient and you will be good to go

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

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jazzyblusnowflake · 9 months

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Ive been thinking for a while to maybe make a small comic series about my personal journey in therapy and the ups and downs of my depression. not sure if ill be able to go through with it but....

//shrug.

tw// vent, mention of mental illness, abuse and suicide below

lately i havnt been doing so well, although its pretty normal and common during summer where i dont have much to do and my overthinking goes rampent...

but lately through therapy and my own research ive found out that not only am i suffering through clinical depression, general anxiety disorder and adhd, but i also suffer from the lack of emotional permanance, which is usually caused by a combo of the 3 other things i mentioned above, woohoo lucky me- buy 3 get one extra =_=...

this is... actively hurting everyone around me... i now understand that its not me being petty or bitchy, i...ACTIVELY cant... understand... or percieve other peoples affection for me. when im not recieving attention in real time i reason with myself that i am unloved and uncared for and this makes my brain shift the blame onto others for leaving me and thinking everyone is out to hurt me on purpose... so now i know why im... "too much" for other people to handle.. why im clingy, scared of isolation and in constant need of attention...

even my mother who is a textbook defenition of an abusive and emotionally negligent parent who verbally assaults me on the daily is now feeling worried about me and tries to take me out of the house more often.. i cry almost every night and my sleep is always with nightmares.

i wont get into too much detail but i do starve myself and force myself to stay awake til sunlight. i cant wash myself in showers and i cant change my clothes. the anxiety is too much. i cant even make myself to go through with it on the rooftop... especially now that i bottle myself up because i cant trust my mental stability to talk to anyone.

i want to be able to make this comic to be able to reach out and not feel alone... the people who care about me deserve more than dealing with my whiny ass on the daily. i need to be better.. for their sakes at LEAST.

im just sorry i let them down constantly.

anyway stay safe everyone, im still trying my best <3

#its raining so im gonna go on the rooftop a little #the first summer rain #its pretty #snowballfo #snow rambles #snow ocs

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subconsciousmysteries · 1 year

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many people who use typology have never engaged with reality and it shows. Let me go through the two main, sadly very common mentalities which expose you as a retard who doesn't understand the real world.

"you cant develop your blindspot." Whether you can or can't develop the ability to properly give a shit about your blindspot... life is going to force you to at least pretend you care about your blindspot and fake it til you make it. otherwise you literally die. People are forced by the world to either enact their blindspot to survive (causing dumb typologers to mistype ppl as their blindspot), or perish. This especially applies if your blindspot is soc or sp. sp-blinds have to pay the bills, clean their rooms and develop a stable routine that nurtures their bodies and souls, despite their apathy towards their financial status and their personal comforts. soc-blinds have to sell a social image of themselves to get a job and then further develop an image as someone reliable if they want to get better pay, despite their apathy towards their social status. there is something in all our lives which demands us to engage our blindspot and if we dont step up, we lose at life.

"Socs are nice and groupthinky and soc blinds are mean and edgy and individualistic" shows me you're sp-blind, probably a 4 and/or 5 fix obsessed with your wet dream of how much more individualistic than thou you are too. if you think soc-blind is about being mean, you don't understand the slightest thing about what an sp-haver and a soc-blind actually thinks. I question if anyone who thinks this way has ever actually tried to provide for themselves in the sp way. sp is about AVOIDING risks and staying stable. To hold down a job and be economically stable in the safest way possible -- what sp is about -- the method is to be to be fucking nice to people and keep your head down so that you aren't deemed Bad For Corporate Image and cut off from your stream of income. to maintain your sp comforts rather than deal with the DANGER (thing sp avoids) of them being threatened, you have to not piss people off. It baffles me that so called sp-havers don't know this and go around assuming that anyone who is kind and bearable must be some sort of soc. the concept of "being nice to avoid conflict and protect myself" is foreign to these so-called sp-havers, which reeks of sp-blindness. Sp-dom is always aware of threats to their sp needs and doesn't want to drag needless conflict into their lives that could risk their financial stability and comfy routines. Sp-doms are those people who fearfully and resentfully keep their social media image as plain and as milquetoast as possible, so that their corporate job doesn't fire them. Yes even sp/sx does this, tho we struggle to tame ourselves more than sp/so because of the explosiveness of sx... we still do it. I have kept my internet rage anonymous for years and am only just decompartmentalizing my life and developing the courage to be myself on the internet with my true face because I feared losing my job over it, for years. Sp is about this soulless pragmatism. It is aligned with type 6 (soc is aligned with type 3 and sx is aligned with type 9), so even if you're not a 6 or 6 fix, having sp will add 6-like traits to you. the wimpiness and cowardice of sp (gotta keep my head down so my employers keep paying me!) applies to ppl even if they are assertive types... The only conflict sp-doms will engage in is around their resources, and in modern society the best way to get resources is almost never conflict, it is through (unfortunately) keeping your head down and shutting up so that you are hireable. almost ALL sp-doms know this. so they train themselves to be nice, and will seldom be cunts. because it is most safe + profitable to be nice. it is low risk to be nice. so sp-doms like being nice. yes we will be grumpy and low energy if you fuck with our routines and other sp things. but we are fundamentally NOT edgy (at least compared to our sx and soc siblings of the same enneatype) because starting conflict is risky and thats the antithesis of sp. Soc is the instinct about status and showing off and shining your image to the world. Socs all have 3-like traits even if they don't have any 3 in their enneatype. they are the ones who enjoy engaging in social drama and being socially mean and petty, because this is an avenue to attain status and peacock your social role in the community and define who you are to others. This trait can be used for better or worse.

#enneagram #instinctual variants #typology #iv #instinctual blindspot #soc blind #sp blind #sx blind #sp/sx #sp/so #so/sp #so/sx #sx/so #sx/sp

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system-of-a-feather · 3 months

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Do you have any recommendations on finding a good therapist for treating DID?

(Sorry about how I think this has been sitting in my ask box for like a month I kept saying Id respond to it later XD)

Honestly? Its a complex thing and unfortunately finding therapists - in my opinion - is largely a game of shopping, luck, and fishing for someone who works well.

Typically though, a few things I find to be green flags.

They work with / help / are trained to help LGBT+ people; even if you arent LGBT+, therapists that are LGBT+ therapists tend to have a better perspective and better mindset to approach DID related issues. It's not a red flag if they don't explicitly say LGBT+ necessarily, but it is something I like to see

If they say they work with dissociative disorders, thats an obvious green flag

If they say they do EMDR I tend to consider that a relative green flag, as EMDR is a really useful tool for trauma processing and while its controversial as to if it is a good standard for people with dissociation, being certified in EMDR tends to signify that they have a dedication to working with people who have trauma and have dedicated time to that; so even if you dont plan to do EMDR, I like to see therapists that COULD do it

If they are trained and capable of working with personality disorders, particularly cluster B personality disorders, that is a good sign. Even if you don't have a cluster B, Cluster B personality disorders tend to be stigmatized WITHIN the mental health system and also tend to be considered "difficult patients" - so if they are more than comfortable stating that they work with Cluster B personality disorders, they are probably going to be better at dealing with some of the more extreme core beliefs, emotional dysregulation, and chaos that can come with working with someone who has DID

Some RED flags:

If they are a religious - particularly Christian or Catholic or have anything about 'healing through god / faith' or anything like that - run.

If they don't at least have PTSD on their treatment list

Trust your gut honestly

Also know what you need and what you want out of a therapist / out of therapy. "A good therapist for DID" could mean a lot of things depending on where you are in your journey and what sort of approach, level of help, and what not you need.

If you are early on, having someone that is familiar with complex trauma and dissociation that can help you figure out how to get a sense of stability, manage your trauma symptoms, learn self care and what not can be super helpful and you might not necessarily need a DID expert as the first stage in DID recovery is stabilization and is focused less on identifying all the parts and communicating with parts (though that will inherently be part of it) and more about trying to establish a sense of stability. For some systems, this might be able to be done pretty well even without a focus on DID and a good C-PTSD therapist that has a good rapport and good match generally can do you a lot of good

If you are later on in your recovery, having someone more DID familiar might be helpful in navigating the more complex nuances and conflicts that can come between parts.

If you are late stage in your recovery, having someone that is familiar enough with the concept and terms to generally follow the flow of discussion and experiences as well as open and respectful to learning / understanding your experiences can be plenty of enough for some people. In these cases, if you have issues that feel like they need a specialist more, then as long as the therapist is comfortable working with you, is familiar with DID and dissociation, and is capable of handling a C-PTSD / PTSD patient, then needing to be a "DID therapist" is honestly really not too important.

The latter is actually our situation, our therapist is an autism/adhd specialist first and foremost that got training and went through a deep dive relatively recently on complex trauma and complex dissociative disorders. Its by no means his expertise, but he is familiar and capable of following along which is honestly all we need at our stage

#alter: riku #alter: fei #ask #asks #advice #therapy #finding a therapist #therapy advice

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girlwithfish · 7 months

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everythings really scary.. im trying to quell my anxiety but idk. but then i think how nice it will feel to not have to go to an eight hour long work seminar bullshit thing i have tmrw and also more and more brutal nine hr work days in a stressful overworked workplace. but i also feel bad quitting really abruptly it feels almost illegal lol. and i will be hoeing over my coworkers a little bc theyll have to figure out how to cover for me since having one teacher gone is a big deal but thats the directors' issue not mine right? i just feel like i cant do two more weeks of this. we have parent teacher conferences coming up plus the stupid seminar tmrw so it feels pointless to even be attending that since i wont be there for long. and i feel like they will treat me bad if i put my two weeks in maybe im crazy but i dont even want to face my boss bc shes annoying me and maybe im crazy but also giving me a lot of attitude and being rude and i feel if im there for two more weeks w everyone knowing im quitting its not gonna be a pleasant two weeks idk. Lol. and also all the other implications its just really scaring me. it wasnt a great job but at least it offered some stability financially and just routinely and i will miss the kids a lot thats the only thing im really sad about. and societal implications ig like im trying to not beat myself down over this bc i basically feel like im giving up and im failing myself and im gonna be broke again and i have the privilege of being able to not work for a little i have another paycheck coming in i think itll be my last paycheck and my mother is willing to help me out since she saw me have like three breakdowns last weekend and saw how ill i am which is really nice but i feel eternally bad bc i feel like im failing for not being a normal functioning capable adult but idk i just need a different better job and i can look for one and rn im just gonna rest and work on scheduling appointments for my mental wellbeing and i really hope it helps and i really hope being home for a little helps and im trying to get over the guilt of that and i guess its ok bpd is kicking my ass rn i just need more help and working a 9-6 job that i hate and treats its employees bad has been preventing me from getting the help and care i need and that should be my priority rn bc its unsustainable for me living like this and im trying to tell myself theres no honor or reward or anything for suffering. its just unnecessary and i want to get better..its ok to be mentally ill x lol

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f1-birb · 3 months

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it's not necessarily reading twitter or insta comments (i don't use twitter much at all anymore and i've had mclaren blocked on all socials since the ricciardo days when they were allowing their team to get harrassed too lol), but it's just like you can curate your spaces so well and you're still going to get posts recommended to you from these damn algorithms that are like “lando is washed,” “lando is going to get exposed,” and idk it gets old.

even reddit, which used to be a voice of reason when it came to actually discussing races/drivers, you cannot have a single lando thread without half the comments being about lando never winning a race or oscar beating him to the first race win and it's like oh my god. who the fuck cares. ocon got the win over alonso in 2021, do people actually think ocon is a significantly better driver than alonso. carlos got ferrari's only win and the only non-rbr win in 2023, do people really think he's significantly better than most of the grid, including his teammate charles? george is mercedes’ last race winner. do people, especially after last year, truly think he's at a higher level than lewis right now? like wins are great. i'd sacrifice my firstborn for lando to get a race win. if oscar gets one first, that's fine. it doesn't mean lando has failed or is washed up or isn't as talented. (i also feel like half of these people don't even like or care about oscar, they just want to see lando get beat. like theres this sick trend on tumblr, reddit, media in general of wanting to see oscar win first and lando fall in this unbeatable depression that has me like what the everliving fuck is wrong with you, but i also have enough decency to think actual mental health problems should be off-limits as criticisms. theres a difference between saying one driver handles pressure better than another, an actual analysis/criticism, versus wishing to see a driver struggle mentally for entertainment).

and this is nothing against oscar at all. it's pretty apparent lando likes him, the team likes him, and he's a major talent. there's just loud parts of his “fanbase” (again i use this term loosely because half these people dont seem to care as much about oscar as they do seeing lando get “exposed” or whatever the fuck) that lack the ability to praise him without shitting all over lando.

and idk. i have full belief in lando as a driver. but some of these criticisms hit pretty close to home when you follow and support him because he's the driver you find most relatable and suddenly the majority of the criticism isn't about his driving, but his character or personality and how people perceive that.

i also just think this overanalysis of his mistakes while others get this free pass because fans/media always insist on blaming the team or others (won't name names, but i have a feeling based on other of your posts/answers, you know who I'm mostly thinking about) will continue into 2024 and i just don't feel like dealing with it anymore. i'm stuck in a shitty job i'm not really enjoying until at least august, f1 used to be an escape from that, but shitty people have ruined that too. and unfortunately I've been around the media enough that even if i did watch the races on mute so i wouldn't have the shitty sky commentary to annoy me even more, i would still know subconsciously what narratives were being spread and i just don't have the emotional stability to care about this motorsport atm.

fe and indycar? sure. like i cannot tell you how many times my favorite indycar driver did not capitalize on opportunities to win last year, yet this year all of the socials are uplifting and asking for predictions on how many races he will win, not betting that he retires with every most (insert accomplishment here) without a win like f1 does. i used to call those 2 my comfort series but i don't think they provide comfort so much as they're so much less toxic than f1 that i don't have to worry about my favorite drivers being straight up harassed instead of just their driving critiqued.

i'd love to follow lando, and oscar, and the entire team through both the highs and the lows as i have for many years now, but i just don't have the energy in me anymore. it's been feeling like a chore instead of a fun little hobby to watch for a while now, and i thought i would find some enjoyment out of it again at some point, but i just can't anymore. i will definitely be sticking around to read your writing though, just maybe not commentary on race weekends.

anyway this got so very long, i'm so sorry. this isn't an airport and i don't need to announce my departure, i guess i just had a lot of things building up that i needed to get out.

no need to apologise at all, I've always said my asks are open for rants or venting or just needing to let it out

I'm sorry there's not a lot I can say to what you've said because I agree with a hell of a lot of it and fully get where you're coming from

there's no point making yourself sad, upset, angry over it and while I know it'll suck to miss out on the racing since that's what you actually care about, maybe a break sounds like a good idea actually especially if you've got life things too

I'm preeeeettty good at tagging stuff so hopefully that'll help you navigate my blog at least, but since I do post a Lot on race weekends if I post writing it's always tagged "birb writes" and that's a featured tag for easy access - but it's so sweet that you'd stick around for my writing, it means a lot <3

#asks are always open too if you wanna say hi or drop an update #take the break anon #i hope a year of no f1 brings you peace #and you know where to find us if you change your mind #birb speaks

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empty-blog-for-lurking · 1 year

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i know youre focusing on Kuron in this au, but how's Hunk doing?(propably not great)

I am so sorry this is so late! Anyway Hunk my little guy, my precious babygirl!! I admit i dont have a LOT for him either orz but i do have some ideas!

Hunk has gotten into coalition as a member to try and support the cause and is.... going through it. Like technically speaking he's the one who is getting shit done. Hunk at the start was doing his whole catering thing or whatever it was he was reduced to, but the thing is when you are working this close to politicians and are also as snoopy as Hunk, you kinda learn a thing or two through gossip and Hunk did not like what he learnt at all. There are corrupt politicians and capitalists wanting to do corrupt politicians and capitalist things in coalition.

That was few months (maybe even a year or two) before the present. At first Hunk didnt want to get involved in this. For starters he trusted Shiro and other coalition members to deal with it, and he was Very happy with where he is and what he is doing and is Totally ok with just standing at the side letting things sought themselves out. He is Fine! It is Fine! The Coalition doesnt Need him to jump in and Fix and Micromanage Everything and he Doesnt Need to get involved at all! He'll absolutely Mind his own business! Definately!!!

Anyway so Hunk does get involve in this because he absolutely can not mind his own business and he can not just stand back cause people's life are on the line and while coalition says it doesnt need Hunk's help or him to micromanage everything (lies) that is what he's going to be damn well doing.

Hunk gets into diplomacy and he's fighting to be taken seriously (because those coalition vids turning him into a joke did not help. Thanks Coran/sarcasm) and trying to lead. And as he's being involved the more he realizes he needs to be prepared to do anything for the goals, including playing dirty. So sometimes he has to fight to be taken seriously but other times he doesnt because it is better if people especially his enemies underestimate him. And if it means he has to work harder, mediate, lie, manipulate, and find dirt on others he will do it. He is not happy about what others think of him and the slippery morals involved in this and he never really wanted to even be involved in coalition or the war but if he has to he will do it. Because if he doesnt who else will?

So Hunk just compartmentalizing all his feelings and everything, like just putting a neat little carpet over on his on-fire garbage mental stability. Haha nothing to see here! And Lance's running away and coma and Kuron Shiro thing doesnt help at all, he has pushed all of his worry away and is just under a lot of pressure and about ready to snap. He thinks Shiro's being a little bitch, he does not trust Kuron, he doesnt understand why Lance did whatever he did and yes he hadnt talked to him in a while but he assumed Lance would have been just fine.

So in conclusion, no he is not doing great

#Again i am so sorry this is so late. I have been in a bit of not feeling it #I am going to probably redo most of this considering it feels so ooc even involving my interpretation of Hunk but this is the basic gist #i support Hunks rights. Hunks rights to fucking snap #hunk garrett #hunk voltron #voltron hunk #voltron legendary defender #voltron #vld #post s8 au #empty thoughts #empty answers #I think i could have answered this better #But basically Hunk is in his 'Ends justify means' era

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gloopdimension · 6 months

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THESE BITCHES DIVORCED ! anyways errrmmmm odogib? story? erm? pelas

OFC!

so odogibbys whole deal in my head is roughly as follows.

odozeir is a very experienced and talented mage w the power of resurrection around the time prior to him being hired by gibby(when gibwayne were still coruling btw, it was several yrs before wayne left the kingdom) . Him getting selected and brought on board by gibby was not part of his big plan for power but he adapted to being a runt & he can adapt to this. So he had a small change of plan.

years go on & odo starts initially by Acting like all of his ass-kissing for gibby is a genuine thing. he is just trying to get closer for a tactical advantage of sorts. However gibby is very smart his head isnt that fuckoff large for no reason. When he catches on to odos antics hes like ah. And just humors him.

More years go on. Wayne is on the brink of leaving the kingdom to gibby to rule. Odozeirs years of asskissing have led himto genuinely believe in what he views of gibby and its sort of delved into a little bit of an obsession. Gibbys years of “humoring” odozeir have led to him(and odo!) sharing vulnerabilities and getting closer and having a genuine bond.

Wayne leaves the kingdom at last and gibby, despite how little he shows it, is in shambles. I think thats where odogibby would first peak in terms of supporting eachother. odozeir has known gib long enough by this pt to know how hed want things to be dealt w so gib leaves odozeir to his kingly duties while he mentally stabilizes himself. ofc odo makes time(somehow!) for him and gibby to hangout aswell.

Then it is just them. They are not officially a couple. They dont know whats going on either. But by god they like eachother a whooooooooole lot.

#that king and his mage.#asks #I just know they love spending time in gibbys private wuarters.#gloop thots

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fairycosmos · 1 year

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I spent 2 years developing a parasocial relationship with a guy I saw on my fyp. I know everything about his family, friends, his friends’ friends, his gf (and her friends) and ex gf (and her friends), basically everybody he follows on instagram. He doesnt even live in the same country as me, i know where he lives, his hometown, his parents, his interest, and his playlists. I woke up everyday for him. To check if he posted anything new. In the middle of a 2 year long depressive episode, he got me to wake up at 6 in the morning (time zone differences) and up for my 7 am classes. I spend all my time daydreaming of him and wishing I had the life his girlfriend has. Even if you take him out of the equation, she has everything I want. She’s 21, and completely moved out of her parents place, and into LA to support his career in modeling. She an artist, a creative, a lovely girl or atleast somebody that would warrant dozens of girl friends calling her an angel everytime she posts something. And that may not seem like a lot but as somebody living in a small town in a province in a SEA country, thats all I could ever ask for in life. Literally just employment, financial independence, a place of her own and she gets to share all that with her loving boyfriend. With all the stalking and sasaeng behavior I know I dont deserve to ask for anything but forgiveness atp but I’m so fucking jealous I could feel it in my chest. It eats at me every day for 2 years now I’ve lost so much weight I been look physically ill with supposedly no reason everyone around me is concerned and they want me to see a nutritionist but that not the problem the problem is i’m sick in the head and a jealous hateful bitch with nothing going on in my life but to obsess and stalk over two strangers who dont know I exist. I just want to have my own life so bad I’m sick of waiting things to get better it needs to start getting better and soon. The only thing I find comforting is lurking on his ex gf’s accounts bc maybe if she can move on I can move on too.

-🧧

i'm sorry you have had to deal with this feeling for so long and i'm sorry things are so hard, for real. i think it's ok to accept jealousy as a natural emotion, just like sadness or anger or hurt, and you don't have to crucify yourself for feeling it. it's alright that it's there. you can choose how you respond to it, even if practicing doing that takes a long time and progress is slow. that being said, it sounds like you're very self-aware about the fact that this has been having a really detrimental impact on your mental health and that you have been crossing boundaries in order to cope with processing that envy, which obviously isn't great. but you're not doomed to be stuck in that place forever. you can work on it, you put yourself first, even if it's exhausting and you don't want to and your life doesn't look the way you want it to look. it is completely normal to want love, financial stability, a place of your own - and you are just as deserving of all of that as this girl is. obviously, we all have wildly different lives, and some people are born into drastically better situations than others, but so much of the toxicity of parasocial relationships lies within the fact that social media is a complete fabrication, a smoke screen. even if these people do have things you want, which is totally understandable, comparing their performance to the world to your lived reality is never going to get you anywhere. and i think we all know that on some level, yet we often fall into that trap anyway, but grounding yourself in that daily may begin to shift your perspective over time.

do you think it would be at all possible to begin limiting your exposure to this guy and his girlfriend online? it sounds like you've developed a real dependency on living vicariously through them and watching their lives, and i'm not saying you have to give that up at all at once. i'm just asking you to consider maybe setting small goals with yourself regarding how much time you actually spend on these people - who are, like you said, total strangers really. it may be a good idea to start working on treating them as such, bit by bit. it seems like you have people in your life who care about you and who want you to be okay, who have noticed that something isn't right with your mental health lately. that's a good sign. whether you can see it or not, you are loved and seen exactly as you are. would you consider talking to someone you trust about what is going on? i know it can feel sort of embarrassing, and you don't have to go into detail about it, but like. just being honest about how unhappy you are with the way things are and having someone listen to that and take it in might be a really good place to start. i get that that's a big step, but i hope you know reaching out is always an option. you don't have to deal with this on your own. rather than a nutritionist, i think it may also help to talk to your family about getting a therapist or speaking with a mental health professional. i know there is a lot of stigma surrounding that, but at this point i think you need to see it as a form of treatment to regain your mental and physical health. having a professional guide you through the intensity of these feelings by listening to you and recommending specialised coping mechanisms can make such a difference. again, i know that's a lot. but i hope you never close yourself off to the idea of it all together, because there's truly no shame in seeking support.

by the way, as a sidenote, i'm not saying it's unreasonable to be jealous of extremely privileged people when you are relatively disadvantaged. like i said at the start, it's completely natural to resent those who seem like they are in the position to enjoy a level of comfort and fulfilment the rest of us have to fight to experience, if we ever even get to. and it fucking sucks. it fucking sucks to be single and exhausted and to feel so unloved. but i think it will do you good to really try focusing on what is actually in your control, what you can actually make of the material reality around you again. no, it may not ever look like dating this specific guy and having an apartment in LA at 21, but there is still a worthwhile life to live outside of that. there is still love around you, and experiences to be had. it may not feel like much consolation from the place you are in right now, but i do think it is a comforting truth. there are many ways to make your world feel more manageable. you said it feels like you have nothing going on in your life so you have to stalk and obsesses over these random people, and that's exactly why i think taking yourself away from the phone screen or the computer screen just a few times a day to focus on what is actually going on around you and where you can find a support network would be ideal for you at this point. i know it's hard, but this guy really is just Some guy. he's not the answer to your life's problems, or the solution to issues with your mental health. he is, at most a convenient person to project that stuff onto. if his ex-gf can get over him, you can get over the idea of him. with time, patience, external support and most importantly - self forgiveness. envy eats me up inside often, too. i get it. and it doesn't make you a bad person. i hope you're able to find the help you need, and i'm sorry for rambling so much. please take it easy. sending a lot of love your way. x

#anon

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