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thatbitchery · 9 months

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BOUNDARIES 101; WHAT ARE THEY, WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM AND HOW TO HAVE THEM

A boundary is the line of discontinuity where the rest of the world stops and you begin, simply put. It's the line that says: past this point, you don't matter, I do. That's that. In this way we can classify a boundary as a definition of who you are/ self.

A boundary is more 'yes' than it is 'no' . We easily express the no ( don't talk to me that way) but at the root of it is the yes desire (talk to me with respect). Boundaries are more about desire than restriction. They're more of expressions of the self than a restriction of the other. Stay with me here, I'll get to that point real soon.

Contrary to popular belief, a boundary is not verbal. It's energetic. This is the one point I want you to walk away with from this entire post. You can miss the rest but this. This. One. Here. You do NOT verbally express a boundary, you energetically draw it. This is the takeaway here babe. This right here.

Let me put it this way: you can not tell someone what they can or can not do. Why? Because this is an infringement of free will and NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING in this planet will cause you to face more resistance and friction than telling a free being what restrictions it must face. You're not being 'strong and powerful' when you tell someone to not speak to you that way you're causing friction and opening the door to a lot more disrespect than there once was.

Take this scenario. That guy at your office that was better off unborn. Every time he opens his mouth you burn with pity for that one poor lady that really spent nine months creating this thing. That Mr Red pill, you know? Youre in a meeting and you say something intelligent that reminds him hes actually dumb so he says something like 'hey sweetheart can you make me a cup of coffee?' With a smirk. The rest of the office laughs, it's just funny you know? Two ways this could go.

1. You tell him it's not funny. "Hey listen Chad that's misogynistic as fuc don't talk to me like that" so Chad raises his hands in mock surrender and goes "whoaaaa I didn't meannanything by it, just a joke. Man, these raging feminists, not everything is misogyny Sarah learn to take a joke, Christ". Now the meeting is ruined for you. You go into an argument that gets shut down in favor of the meeting. Walking out there's two groups of people, on your side and on his side, and now that you've marked a target on your back you know for a fact you'll be the recipient of microaggressions and snide remarks, suddenly work feels so so heavy.

2. You look him straight in the eye and keep talking. You completely ignore that remark and move on. He makes one more move and you ignore him completely, moving on. It's like he doesn't even exist. After the meeting he runs after you to try and act apologetic but you know it's a drama trap, so you stop and turn to him. He's talking but you're staring at his forehead. Then neck. Then shirt. And I mean with absolutely no emotion, no disdain, no approval, just blank staring. He's still talking, you look at his shoes, back to his forehead. He's still going on and you say "work to do" and go back to your desk. That's the last time you speak to him unless you have to, and when you do have to it's three sentence words, straight unwavering eye contact, NEVER forget to stare at that forehead (manipulation 101 beechez) and tilt your head. When your eyes meet glaze your sight like you couldn't be bothered. Before He's done you walk out or move to the next person. You give him no second you dont have to, whatever silly rumors he starts you shrug off, you talk to him with your back up straight and no facial express, like he's nothing (because I mean. He's nothing)

Which one of those two do you think works.

You. Can . Not. Tell a person what they can or cannot do. Back when I thought I had boundaries and I'd tell every Mary and John what they can and can not do to me all I met was "oh my gooooddddd wow you're so conceited if you think I put all that energy into disrespecting you oh my goooood it's not that deep ohmigauuuud girl get over it oh my God so I'm the bad guy now wuh wuh wuh" and walked out of those conversations with more friction and resistance than solutions feeling guilty as hell and even lost some valuable people. You. Just. Can't. You'll shoot yourself in the foot.

So how do we express our boundaries ladies? Energetically. When you decide for yourself no one should come to your house unannounced don't even open the door. My mother does this. She'll be inside just chilling and after you call she'll answer "you should have said you're coming! I wasn't expecting a visitor today so I was busy!" And that's all you get. No apology. No rescheduling. Next time. Call. [Queeeen behavior].

Boundaries have more to do with what you will do than what the other person can and can not do. Once more you can't tell a person what to do, so your boundary is your "if....then" plan. If someone speaks to me in a way I don't like that's the last time I speak to them unless I have to until an apology is delivered and they earn me back. If my bf doesn't call or speak to me all day I'm not speaking to or calling him until there's a bunch of flowers, poetry and restaurant reservation for an apology and an actual apology and it's two strikes and I'm out. If my parents do not respect my choices they don't get to be a part of said choices, the good or bad or in between. If my friends gossip about someone else they lose access to my personal information or life because once a gossip always a gossip. If. . . Then. A boundary without attached consequence is a joke.

If you don't know what boundaries to set there are three ways you can go about it.

1. Visualize the woman you're hoping to become. Who is she. What are her ways. What boundaries do you think she has?

2. Discomfort and pain. Most boundaries are inborn. Since we are born with the 'self' it comes with its own definition/ lines and if there was no socializing process we would still have them but for the sake of fitting in our social groups a lot of us had to give them up (I'm looning at you people pleasers) . If you have lost touch with yours listen to your Discomfort. What's on the other side of that is your desire and the line between is your boundary. Eg; you don't like how that man was looking at you. You have a boundary against sexualization. Okay, the next time someone sexualizes you, what's the consequence they face?

3. Off your head what boundaries do you want. The problem with this method is we express our trauma more than boundaries. I was hurt by someone in this way so this is my boundary. Being that a boundary is an expression of the self to base it on your pain is a betrayal to the self, but until you get back in touch with your self this works. Off head. What do you want.

The reason we have boundaries is to safeguard ourselves , or, our SELF from corrosion, dilution and diffusion. If you're in a constant state of fear, pain, anxiety, fight or flight you need more boundaries, your SELF is in jeopardy and given that life is literally structured about your SELF do I need to explain why it must be protected at all costs? Negative emotion is a good indicator of a boundary crossed. Those things that hurt your soul, those. Keep them OUT of your lines.

You have to train the people around you to respect your boundaries by a shift in your energy that they FEEL and they have to jump through hoops, go above and beyond to get back into your good graces or lose you for life. You must be willing to upset and lose people in safeguard of your best interests, and if the person is irreplaceable even just temporarily eg your boss, you must shift your energy subtly enough that they feel it but softly enough that you have enough time to plan a soft exit without getting fired.

Telling people what to do will bite you later, don't bother. You train people with reward and punishment in the way you regulate your energy, like one trains a dog. Good thing? Neutral and normal. Bad thing? Worship me or die.

Reminder nothing on the face of this planet, in heaven above or hell below or galaxy around is worth betraying your SELF for and keeping up with bullshit is the loudest expression of a lack mindset that says "I'll take what I have because I don't think there is better for me out there", and people can sense this and then you are, in layman's language, royally fucked.

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acourtofthought · 8 days

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The Asteri arrange bondless matings in Midgard to produce powerful offspring. The Asteri corrupted the Cauldron. ACOTAR is the only world where the Cauldron has influence. ACOTAR is the only world where we know some matings bonds can be wrong. Rhys says mating bonds may be from the Mother or the Cauldron, and might just be to produce powerful offspring. If SJM wants to make Elain and Azriel true mates she's already done all the work. It's all in canon. Elriel, Nessian, and Feysand could all have bonds from the Mother, just like in CC and TOG. Elucien could have a bond from the corrupted Cauldron. It's not that hard.

In 15,000 years.

After Danika / Baxion, Kallias / Vivianne, Feyre / Rhys, Rowan / Aelin, Bryce / Hunt, Nesta / Cassian, and so on.

In 15,000 years, ONLY the Elucien mating bond is corrupt? Those are some fucking odds, let me tell you. And damn, Elain and Lucien must be really important to be the sole recipients of such a unique plot with such far reaching implications.

It's really strange how the Asteri, who have never met Elucien and will never meet Elucien considering the ones on Midgard who are responsible for all this corruption are (spoiler) DEAD, would have gone to so much trouble.

If you're trying to claim Elain and Lucien were mated only to create the most powerful offspring than I feel pretty bad for E/riels future children since you're telling me they will just never measure up and that Az is in fact the weakest link.

It's also really strange how this same corrupt Cauldron created Elain and Nesta. Maybe it's not the bond that is corrupt but Elain herself, right? Since everything that comes from the cauldron now has the potential to be tainted I guess neither Lucien or Az should end up with a girl with that sort of questionable creation. I mean, the author did include the line about Elain having tightness on her face and Cassian suspecting she wasn't telling the truth about something. Clearly, that's SJM already "doing the work" to support Evil Elain and Az and Lucien will need to put her down together.

You know what's not hard? Understanding why some bonds are poorly matched.

You're referring to Rhys's parents, correct?

Rhys's father was cold and vicious and stole his mother away the second their bond snapped because he felt entitled to her. He also refused to ban wing clipping despite his her begging him to.

Rhys's mother was soft and fiery and beloved by many.

Elain sounds like Rhys's mother, does she not?

Cold and vicious, cold and vicious, feels entitled to a female. Gosh...that just doesn't sound like Lucien.

But it kind of does sound like someone full of an icy rage who is a far better liar than Rhys himself and knows how to perform a symphony of pain during his torture sessions. The guy who feels he should have gotten Elain as a mate for the simple fact that his brothers are with her sisters.

Elain and Az will never be true mates and let me tell you why.

Because as Elain was violated in the most horrible way possible to her character, Az was crying out for Mor.

As Elain was depressed and traumatized, Az never bothered to ask how she was doing, did not visit her for weeks after she was turned, and actually drew straws so he didn't need to stay and guard her.

After Elain lost her father, Az was relieved not to get her a Solstice gift and blushed and stared at Mor with heat and yearning.

I don't even need an Elucien mating bond to understand he is by far the better male for her.

#pro elucien #elucien #anti e/riel #pro lucien vanserra

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viviennelamb · 6 days

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If you're a real artist of any kind, never read opinions from non-artists or people who haven’t taken any risks in their lives. Remember, you're not a feedback reader, you're making people like you feel less alone and perfecting your craft and process. When it comes to your art, think of this and nothing else.

The ordinary person doesn't know what devotion is like because their brains aren't even 1% functional.

They're not full nor complex people either, they're an ego programmed to please others so they can fit in. Uncreative people target anybody different from them. This is why they’re into politics and activism and can’t stand that anybody thinks differently than them. This is the Ego's nature.

I was there at some point too and it was repressive, but now I'm free. Those who aren't free judge because they're prisoners of their own minds. always remain aware of envy and the crabs in a bucket mentality. Doesn’t matter if they’re race, gender or sexuality liberationists, they are against you if you’re a real person and will hate you for being free without needing their help.

I know a lot of the people reading this are looking to break through their mental barriers and I must tell you the obvious... life is a millisecond in cosmic time and you must act quickly on the opportunities presented to you.

Nobody is rewarded for being "the most liked by egos.” When you die, you need to leave something that somebody can unearth and feel like they hit the jackpot to read, listen and look at and cherish for the rest of their lives.

There's no time for preoccupation with what zombies think. If you have time to worry, you need to add more work into your schedule (all real work is Spiritual, everybody else is just a busy body).

Successful people are too busy winning, or at least learning how to win, to judge people who are focused on their own craft. If you see somebody doing them but you’re judging instead of being inspired, you’re average and always will be until you decide to go for what you’re most scared to do.

Play your role to the fullest and you'll stop being depressed regardless of what the world shows you. When you're doing all that you can, you'll be lifted out of your depression. Most people are long-term severe melancholics because they’re not creating, but believe they're well and project that depression unto those who are sane and healthy.

Since being a depressive is normal, those who have the drive to do what they love everyday, regardless of what anybody has to say about it, are deemed unwell because it's not socially acceptable to serve your soul. Everybody wants you to be their social slave instead.

Beauty isn't balanced or normal, it's extreme and rare.

You keep daydreaming and thinking "if only I could..." you can! The second you decide to go for what you want, everything becomes available to you. You don't have to plan, just make the vow and act immediately and once you iterate and record what works and what doesn't, you're making progress.

If you want a shortcut, find a mentor. The more you stay in the freeze state nothing happens. Your conscious mind cannot comprehend "how," so forget attempting to understand or map out the trajectory of your life and just act.

Even if you're an aspiring artist, stop reading stuff you can't relate to, or negative people who judge others for stepping out of the box because that affects your mental health and therefore your art, even when it's not directed at you.

That fear they meant to direct at others doesn’t actually affect the supposed recipient, but the individual saying it as well as their peers. Now their peers are secretly scared to be open with somebody they thought they trusted.

By the way, the highest art is the Art of Self-Mastery. Once you take back full control of your mind, senses and body, you're well on the path to achieving the purpose of life. Even better if you share the process of achieving your purpose. Don't wait until everything is perfect.

Sure, people will think they know you even though you only share 0.01% of your life, but at the end of the day, you're stopping yourself from doing what you're meant to do. Any obstacles you face is a test to show yourself how much you really want something. Think of these obstacles as checkpoints.

Once you get going, you will get real life checks to show you how strong you've gotten and how much you've improved in your role/craft. Stay locked in regardless.

The vast majority are extremely mentally unwell because they don't create or share anything that brings light into other people's lives. That stagnancy, as well as their hatred of the soul is the death of the mind.

Never listen to a dabbler who only creates once a month even worse, once a year, tell you anything about your creation. Just nod and smile because you're listening to an opinionated slave.

Remember, the only thing the ordinary person produces daily is an orgasm and poop. It would take the fragile and mindless a month to write a post like this, same with the art you're driven about, but they will judge and dissect what you do when they haven't done anything, ever. They don't have the discipline to write and release something in the same day because they're too busy arguing and gossiping about what a random thinks.

Only intake art and perspectives from people who are utterly and crazily obsessed and then you'll feel like your heart is finally waking up, which is what happened to me. Only then will you reach that point of being unable to feign lukewarmness and soullessness anymore.

Once you begin to exit mediocrity, you will see people's hatred toward you (which is really toward themselves) leaking out as false concern, fighting, and creating dossiers on strangers yet this person doesn't even keep a daily journal of their own thoughts. These individuals exist for you. They're waiting for you because their life consists of talking about others, so give them something to talk about.

When an individual can't be honest and haplessly spends their life energy, they become afflicted with loneliness, anxiety, and a chaotic mind regardless of how many bodies they pile around them and how much validation they get. Most people are unskilled, emotionally, and socially retarded for this reason.

When I read stuff from those individuals in particular I'm severely underwhelmed... it's all misinformation about other people's lives and it's not even at least entertaining. I’m looking for anything real from them and there’s nothing but there’s nothing but race policing and sexual harassment.

They don't know what it's like to strive for something bigger than personal comfort and social validation. When their useless life ends, all that will be left behind of their existence is documentation of their sex-addiction, their list of diagnosed mental illnesses, ideology fights, and gossip.

Also, the people who say they wish they could meet certain artists are all lying. They would've been part of the crowd who judged them if they lived during the same time, especially the ones who pride themselves on being conformists whose best accomplishment is getting a girlfriend.

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vodika-vibes · 7 months

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Pen-Pals

Summary: When you're assigned a pen-pal for one of your classes, you expect to make a friend, at best. You definitely don't expect Tup to become something more to you.

Pairing: Sailor! Tup x Reader

Word Count: 4569

Warnings: Fluff

A/N: I am, like, 85% done with my Prince!Boba fic and decided to write this instead. Whoops.

Tagging: @the-bad-batch-baroness

Divider by saradika

“Alright everyone,” Your gaze drifts from your notebook up to the front of the classroom, where your teacher is trying to gather the attention of her class, “As you all know,” The teacher continues as soon as she has everyone’s attention, “I have been working to set up this pen-pal program with men on the front lines, as well as men on the naval ships-”

The room dissolves into groans and you roll your eyes, “Miss,” One of your classmates calls from the back of the room, “You’re a Rune teacher! Not a language teacher!”

The teacher slams her hand on the table, and the room falls silent immediately, “I already have pairings made up for all of you,” She says through ground teeth, “And you are going to write at least one letter.” She falls silent as she glares around the room, and then she’s all smiles again, “Now when I call your name, come up and get your assignment-”

After class ends, you leave campus quickly. The worst thing to do would be to remain and listen to the rest of your classmates bitch about this, admittedly weird, assignment. Why a Master Level magic teacher, who’s students were all adults, is creating a pen-pal program is beyond you…but grades are grades.

Plus, she gave you a stack of these really neat envelopes that will teleport the letter to the recipient the same day it’s sealed, and you really want to take a look at the runes that allow that to happen.

You push open the door to the store your grandparents own, and walk through the shop, into the back, and up the stairs. “I’m home!” You call as you open the door that leads to the house proper.

Your grandfather doesn’t look up from where he’s burning something into a piece of wood, “Welcome back,” He says, “How was class?”

“The teacher finally managed to make her pen-pal dreams come true,” You reply as you place your bag on a chair and walk over to the table, “What are you working on?”

“You tell me,” Your grandfather replies as he pushes the schematics over to you.

You turn the paper so you’re able to read it properly, your fingers lightly tracing over the written runes, “It looks like…hm…a warmer of some kind?” You asked.

“Very well done,” Your grandfather praises as he glances at you, “It’s a commission that came into the shop, they want a clothing warmer.”

“And you’re making it out of wood?” You ask doubtfully.

“Just the frame, kiddo. It’s going to be cast in steel when I finish this bit.” Your grandfather rolls his eyes, “You know your grandmother, she’s already got the forge fired up.”

“At least she loves her job,” You counter as you turn the schematics back towards your grandfather.

“True enough, she does love metalworking.” He beams at you, “So, who’s your pen-pal?”

“Dunno, I haven’t opened the envelope yet.” You reply as you grab a cookie out of the jar, and take a bite, “Unless you need me in the shop, I’ll probably head to my room and get started on that.”

“Such a diligent student,” Your grandfather teases, “We’re all set in the shop, for now. Killian actually showed up for his shift today.”

“You know you should fire him, right?” You say as you break off a piece of your cookie and toss it into your mouth.

“Ahh. I can’t do that. He’s Bernie’s son!”

“I didn’t know that leeches could look human,” You mutter under your breath.

Your grandfather points at you, “Behave.”

You hold up your hands, “Okay, okay.” You finish your cookie, “Since you don’t need me, I’ll just go to my room.” You grab your back and head out of the room, though you turn and start walking backwards so you can still see your grandfather, “I’m just saying, if I didn’t show up for work three times a week, I’d get fired.”

He shoots you a disappointed look, and you muffle a laugh as you turn and head down the hallway to your room. Though you do take a moment to open the door to the basement, where grandma’s forge is located. You don’t hear her hammering anything yet, “I’m home, grandma!”

“Hi, baby! Don’t come down here, there’s dust and smoke everywhere!” She calls the warning up the stairs.

“I can see it, Grandma. Have fun!” You hear the sound of delighted giggling, and you’re pretty sure you hear her crowing something about copper, but you decide that you do not want to get involved.

You very carefully shut the door to the forge, and watch as the fire suppressants flare to life down the hall and across the floor, and you shake your head and walk down to the end of the hall.

The house you share with your grandparents is a decently sized place, all things considered, even if it is oddly shaped. The fact that the only way to get to the basement is from the second floor, rather than the first floor, is odd. Though you don’t put it past your grandparents to have designed the house that way intentionally.

Your room is the smallest room in the house.

It’s small enough that your grandfather had to make you a loft bed with a desk and a bookshelf built underneath, but you really don’t mind. The smaller room is easier to clean, and it means you never have to invite people over.

Useful, since you don’t actually have any friends.

You hang your bag on the hook on the bedroom door, and pull out your class books, the stack of envelopes your teacher gave you, and the simple envelope with your name on the front.

You sort everything, and then you sit at your desk and you slowly open the envelope.

The first thing that slides out is a picture. A young man with dark skin, curly black hair pulled into a bun, and brown eyes is showcased in the picture. He has a tattoo of a teardrop under one of his eyes.

You set the picture to the side and pull out the slip of paper inside the envelope. It’s not even a full sheet of paper, it’s just a ribbon of paper with a few words written on it. His name is Tup Fett, he’s a few years older than you, and he’s stationed on the Resolute, a naval ship.

Well, you suppose. It’s something at least.

You open your desk and dig around for a moment, before you pull out a picture album and flip to the very end. You grab one of the most recent pictures of yourself (a professional picture you got made for your grandmother’s birthday a couple of months ago) and you slide it in the envelope that your teacher supplied you with.

And then you grab a blank piece of paper, from the stack of specialty stationary that your aunt gave you several years ago and you’ve never had any use to use, and then you just…stare.

What does one write to a pen-pal anyway?

You tap your pen against the paper for a moment, and then, when nothing comes to you, to start doodling flowers across the top and around the edges of the paper.

And then, once the paper had over two dozen intricately drawn roses, you started to write.

Starting with an introduction and then an apology for all of the roses you drew on his letter. And once you started writing, you found that you couldn’t stop.

One page very quickly becomes three, and that’s when you decide to stop. You sign the letter, and then add a postscript saying that he doesn’t have to reply if he doesn’t want to.

And then you pull the picture back out of the envelope, and fold it in the letter, and, before you can start second guessing yourself, you shove the whole thing into the envelope, address the front, and seal it with a touch of magic.

Nothing happens for a moment, and then the envelope flashes twice, and vanishes.

************

When the men on the Resolute were told about the pen-pal program, Tup wasn’t convinced that it was a good idea. He’s still not convinced that it’s a good idea, but so many of his brothers are-

As a Private, Tup doesn’t expect to get a letter. Or to be lucky enough to get a pen-pal at all. After all, the Commanders and Captains and higher ranked brothers are sure to be chosen.

Which is totally fair. He does not begrudge his older brothers their ranks, he knows how hard they’ve worked to get to where they are, especially since some of the natborns they work with seem to think that there’s some favoritism going on.

Which is categorically ridiculous. Jango doesn’t play favorites. It’s why Cody works on a warship too. It’s why everyone except Fox works on a warship, and the only reason Fox doesn’t is because he’s in charge of the Mandalorian Guard. And the Police Force. And the Royal Guard.

Anyway, Tup is convinced that he’s not going to get a pen-pal, so he doesn’t even bother with considering it.

Which is why, when he steps into the room he shares with his batchmates, and he sees a letter on his bunk…he’s not really sure how to react.

He carefully picks it up and sees that it’s addressed to him, and so he just stares at it for almost 30 seconds. And then he lays down on his bunk and he slowly opens it.

Tup pulls out three sheets of paper, and his lips curl up into a smile, and that smile grows when the picture falls out of the letters. He picks it up and looks at it, at you, for a long moment. And then he turns the picture over and reads the information on the back.

Your name, the date it was taken, and a note in neat cursive, “I got professional pictures for Grandma for her birthday, but she only kept one, and gave the rest away. I did manage to save this one, though. So…here’s me.”

Tup flips the picture back over, and grins at the image of you. Cute. So very cute.

He sets the picture down on his chest, he’ll have to remember to beg Rex for some tape later so he can hang the picture on his bunk, and he opens the letter. Tup is more than a bit surprised when he sees all of the roses drawn on the first page.

And when the very first sentence is both an introduction and an apology for all of the flower doodles, he can’t help but release a quiet laugh, joy blossoming in his chest.

Tup reads his letter three times before his older brother bursts into the room. “Tup!” Hardcase says, “Why did you skip dinner?”

“I was busy,” Tup replies as he sits up, and then he grins and holds up the letter, “I have a pen-pal.”

Hardcase blinks at Tup, twice, and then he lunges at him, “I want to read it!”

Tup swears loudly and twists, his feet catching Hardcase’s chest plate and pushing him back, “It’s not yours, dikut!” Hardcase lands with a loud crash, and the door to the room opens again.

“Tup? Hardcase?” Rex looks between the pair of them, “What are you doing?”

“Tup got a pen-pal and he won’t share.” Hardcase says from the floor, “Tell him he has to share.”

“That’s not at all how that works, Hardcase, and you know it.” Rex replies flatly, and then he glances at Tup and flashes a small smile, “I’m happy for you, vod. I have the envelopes in my office, you can get one in the morning.”

“Thanks, Rex.” Tup replies with a relieved sigh.

Rex just grins at him, and then he bends over and picks up a small square of paper, and his grin grows, as he looks at it. “She’s cute, Tup.” He offers the picture back to Tup, “I’ll go get some tape so you can hang the picture.”

Tup takes the picture and mutters something in response, before he hides the picture in his pocket.

“You’re not going to be able to hide it for long, vod.” Rex warns, “But I’ll make sure that no one tries to read your letters.”

“That’s good enough for me,” Tup replies easily. “They can get their own pen-pals if they want to read letters.”

Rex laughs, and claps Tup on the shoulder, “I’ll be sure to mention that. Come on. Let’s get you your envelope and some tape.”

“I thought you said I had to wait until the morning?” Tup asks.

“You’re not going to sleep, Tup.” Rex counters with a roll of his eyes, “You’re far too wired. Letting you write the letter now will at least keep you occupied until you do fall asleep.”

“...thank Rex.”

“This is the only time I’ll allow it, Tup.” Rex warns as he points at Tup.

“Yes sir.”

**************

When you wake the following morning, and carefully maneuver yourself down the ladder and onto the floor, you notice that there’s a letter sitting innocently on your desk.

You stare at the letter, pleasantly surprised.

You honestly didn’t expect a response at all, let alone one within 12 hours of the initial letter.

You yawn and sit down. You can hear your grandparents moving around down the hall, and you know that you really should save this to read later…but you have a few minutes, right?

You carefully open the envelope and settle back in your seat, and start to read.

Thank you for writing to me, sarad! I can honestly admit that I wasn’t expecting a pen-pal at all, especially not one who is so talented. I really liked the roses, so please don’t apologize for doodling!

It was also really interesting to hear about your class. I wasn’t aware that there were magic schools…but I suppose it does make sense. There’s not nearly enough wizards in the world for everyone to have an apprenticeship. I admit that I’m not sure what runes are used for, but you seem very passionate about them. Is that because of your grandparents? You mentioned them, and their shop, a lot.

I can’t tell you where I am right now, it’s not allowed, but I can tell you that we’re still several months away from returning to Mandalore. I miss solid ground…and my own room. More my own room than solid ground, if I’m going to be completely honest.

Sharing a room with 5 other men? Not fun. The fact that they’re my brothers somehow only makes it twice as bad and ten times more annoying.

Oh! The picture you sent me is currently hanging on the wall in my Berth. Not in my bunk, just…on the wall…next to the mirror. I’m so sorry, my brothers are idiots and they insisted. Hardcase made some paper flowers and taped them to the wall around your picture. I’m still not sure why.

It’s okay though, because Cap gave me permission to beat him around the training room in the morning.

I suppose I won’t be too hard on Hardcase. The splash of color is nice. If you wanted to send more pictures of anything, it would be nice. But please don’t feel like you have to.

Anyway, I have to wrap this up now. It’s late and I do have work I need to do in the morning.

Thank you again, Sarad, for writing to me. I hope you will again.

Yours,

Tup

P.S. Hardcase says hi.

P.P.S. Dogma also says hi.

P.P.P.S Hardcase says that if you want to send some candy, that would be nice. He wants fruit flavored hard candy, I’m partial to peppermint, personally.

P.P.P.P.S. This is the last one, I swear. Hardcase swears that fruit candy is better, he’s wrong. I’m pretty sure he was dropped on his head as an infant.

By the time you reach the end of the letter, you’re giggling. Tup sounds so fun, and Sarad is a very nice nickname.

More pictures is definitely do-able, you have an entire box filled with random pictures you’ve taken over the last few years, though you’re not sure how to get candy to them.

Maybe if you put the candy in a box and then tape the letter to the top? You’ll ask grandpa, he’ll know.

“Angel!” You hear your grandfather call from the hallway, “Breakfast!”

“Coming!” You shout back. You carefully lay the letter in an empty box, planning on collecting as many letters as Tup decides to send you, and then you hurry out of your room. “Hey, grandpa! I have a rune question-”

The letter you eventually send back to Tup at the end of the day is attached to a box full of candy, cookies, and various pictures of places and people. You also added some stationary for Tup, and you’re pretty sure your grandparents added a few more pictures of you.

You eye your grandmother suspiciously for a moment, “Are you planning on adopting Tup, Grandma?”

“Hm? Oh, no dear. I’m in the process of planning your wedding to him.”

“...Grandma!”

“What?”

********

Tup blinks at the box sitting on his bunk.

He’s fairly certain that the pen-pal thing isn’t supposed to be a daily thing, but he’s not complaining. At all.

He grabs the box and sits on the floor as he carefully opens it. And then his jaw drops.

There’s a bunch of different types of candies, a container full of cookies, a sweater, and a box that, when he opens it, reveals an entire stack of pictures. Tup absently flips through the pictures, most are of various places around Mandalore. Though some are pictures of his Sarad through the years.

Tup pops a peppermint into his mouth, and carefully peels the envelope off the front of the box, and opens it.

Hey Tup!

I have to admit, having a letter to read as soon as I woke up this morning was a surprise. Though it was a pleasant surprise! I didn’t think that you would want to write back to a babbling college student. I’m glad that I was wrong!

It would be nice to be an apprentice to a proper wizard, but, well, only the wealthy or the lucky actually have that chance. And I’ve never been either, so I made due with what the college can offer me. Not that I’m much of a magic user, honestly. You’ll never catch me running around throwing fireballs or summoning lightning. I’ll stick with my safe, clean, runes.

You said you don’t know much about runes, but to keep this from becoming a lecture-Runes can be used for a lot of things, but mostly they’re useful. Like…I have runes sown into my boots so that they don’t get dirty, even if I jump in a mud puddle. And I have a locket my grandparents made me that acts as a rudimentary tracking charm. (I really need to get them to remove that, I’m not five anymore after all.)

And I do lean more to runes because of my grandparents. They raised me since I was four. My parents and older siblings decided to take a world tour…and just never came back. It doesn’t bother me as much as it bothers my grandparents, though. They feel like I should miss them, and I really don’t. How do you miss something you never had?

Anway.

What’s it like living on a ship? I imagine it’s cramped and you don’t have much space. At least you’re with family, I suppose. Though if I had to be in close quarters with any member of my family for a long period of time, I would commit murder, so it’s best that I’m not.

I don’t mind that my picture is hung up, your picture is hung up over my desk after all. But I did send some more pictures so maybe you can reclaim the picture of me and replace it with something a bit less…embarrassing? Though I think grandma snuck some more pictures of me in your care box.

I hope you like the sweater I got you. I wasn’t sure as to your size, so I got a size up from what I thought you might wear. And I know the Resolute’s color is blue, so I just grabbed that color, so you can wear it on shift, maybe? If you don’t like the color you can send it back, and I’ll get you a different one. Promise.

Anyway, my lunch break is almost over, so I had better go. I have to go scream at one of my grandfather’s employees…he showed up five hours late for his shift. Who does that??

XOXO

Sarad

P.S say hi to Hardcase and Dogma for me

P.P.S There is enough candy in the box for you and Hardcase, but please don’t feel like you have to share with him.

P.P.P.S Also, you’re both wrong. Chocolate is the superior candy, and I will fight you on this.

Tup grins at the letter and immediately pulls the sweater on. It’s a bit too big on him, but it’s warm and he loves it. He opens the box of pictures and starts going through them. All of the pictures with his Sarad in them get put to the side to get hung up in his bunk, while he leaves the others on the desk so the Berth can get properly decorated.

*************

It’s been almost a year since you first started writing to Tup, and you still hear from him almost daily. Of course, you’re just as guilty as he is of writing daily letters.

And sending gifts. So many gifts.

Though, in your defense, most of the things you’ve gifted him have been sketches and doodles. Though you did send him a new hair clip that your grandma made for his birthday.

He also got a cake, courtesy of your grandfather.

You spin your pen between your fingers as you stare at the almost finished letter.

Well, the letter is finished, technically you could send it as is, and it would be fine. After all, Tup would be docking soon…as in today, and you can finally see him face to face, but-

But.

You nervously gnaw on your lower lip and, before you can second guess yourself, you add a hastily scribbled postscript, and then you shove the letter into the envelope, and seal it.

The letter glows, and vanishes, and you stare at the spot for a moment.

Well. It’s out of your hands now. Now all you can do is wait.

*************

Tup stares at the letter in his hands wide eyed. He wasn’t expecting another letter, not since he’s so close to returning home, to being able to see you in person.

But you sent a letter anyway, and while the majority of the letter is normal stuff, it’s the postscript that has him thrown for a loop.

I’m looking forward to meeting you in person. I’ll be there when the Resolute docks, Grandpa already said I can have the day off. So don’t worry about replying to this letter!

XOXO

Sarad

P.S. I love you

He reads the postscript over and over and over. There aren’t any more envelopes. He can’t reply to you, even though he wants nothing more than to send a reply, even if the reply is only four words.

He fights the urge to hunt Rex down and demand one more envelope, though he knows his older brother is absolutely not going to give him another envelope, even if there was another envelope. Which. There is not.

“You alright, vod?” Dogma asks, as he looks from Tup’s anxiously bouncing leg to the way he’s impatiently tapping a rhythm out on the paper in his hand.

“What? Yeah. Yes, everything’s fine. Great.”

“Right. You wanna try repeating that in a way that’s more believable?” Dogma asks dryly.

“...Sarad loves me.”

Dogma stares at him, silent, “Vod. You’ve been in love with her for six months. Why are you freaking out about this?”

“Because I want to tell her.”

“Great, you can tell her in person. In two hours.” Dogma replies.

“But-”

“No buts. Just relax, vod.”

The last two hours pass by in the blink of an eye, and Tup shifts nervously. This is the first time he's been able to meet you face to face, and he's nervous.

Only a little.

Because you're great! And you're so kind, and whenever he talks to you, or thinks about you, his stomach flips, and he feels like a cadet again.

But he's still nervous. He's not Rex or Jesse or Fives, all of whom ooze charm as easy as breathing. So there's always the chance that you'll see one of his brothers and choose one of them.

Regardless of what you had said in the letter.

And then the ship is docking, and he's disembarking and he sees you, and you're just as ethereal as your pictures showed-

And you see him, and your smile is blinding, and then you're in front of him, and your arms are around his neck, and he's stumbling backwards, and Rex has to catch him -

Tup can't help but laugh as he curls his arms around your waist, "Hi Sarad." He breathes out, and all of his nerves vanish as though they never existed to begin with.

“Hi,” You reply, your arms settling comfortably around his neck, “Did you get my letter?”

“I did,” Tup replies.

“And?” You ask, some anxiety passing through your gaze.

Tup grins at you and catches your lips with his own, one of his hands leaving your hip to cradle the back of your head as he deepens the kiss. He can hear his brothers wolf-whistling him, and he breaks the kiss, though he remains close enough to kiss you again, when he wants to, “Is that an answer?” He asks, a mischievous grin playing on his lips.

And your face is red, and your eyes are bright, “I’d like to hear the words anyway.” You whisper, uncaring of the audience…and you do have an audience.

His grin is boyish, and both of his hands move to cradle your face between his hands, “I,” He kisses your forehead, “Love,” he peppers light kisses across your cheeks, and nose, “You.” His lips catch yours in an even deeper kiss. “How’s that?”

You giggle and tilt your head slightly, “I think it’s perfect. A perfect confession for a perfect Tup.” At this point, the audience has moved away, with other couples reuniting across the docks.

He kisses you again and again, before he finally pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, “Remind me to write a letter to your old teacher for introducing us.”

“She’ll be unbearable, Tup.” You whisper up to him.

“We can allow it, for a little bit.” Tup whispers back.

“Grandma and Grandpa are dying to meet you, can you leave?”

“My shore leave officially started the moment I stepped off the ship. I would love to meet your family.” He ghosts his lips against yours, one more time, “Lead the way, Sarad.”

#star wars #tcw #Star Wars AU #clone trooper tup x reader #tup x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction

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sarucane · 6 months

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OFMD Spiral Parallels 4: Stede's Letters

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.

---

Now, to this meta: An unexpected letter, from one partner to another.

Season 1 Episode 4

"Dearest Mary,

You deserve happiness, as do I. My hope is that the vast wealth and property I've left behind for you and the children will suffice...You're quite right: we only have this one life.

Fond Regards, Stede"

This letter is an ending. It's shallow, and it's selfish. It's not malicious, but it is careless--as if money could replace a husband and father. There's not a connection here: this letter is about Stede distancing himself from what he's left behind. The letter is essentially a formality, a final obligation to give some sort of explanation for his absence. And as Mary asks in his hallucination, "Did you really think a letter was enough?" Even he knows this was a cheat.

But underneath all that is a something genuine. There's Stede's desire for happiness, knowing he won't find it on his father's land. His acceptance of what Mary's said about having only one life, but a refusal to embrace the same fatalism she was suggesting. It's clumsy and a bit dumb, but it expresses a desire for transition, and it's Stede actually seeking a way to be true to himself for the first time in his life.

Season 2 Episode 8

"Dear Ed,

I long for you. Every day we spend apart feels like an eternity. I know you don't wanna hear from me, but I write these letters daily, hoping one will reach you. Hope that's okay. I know we're not through. I can feel it in my soul. A love like ours can't disappear in an instant: we're joined to one another, intertwined. We wrote our names on each other, in permanent ink."

Stede's first letter is about his relationship to Mary; this letter is about his relationship with Ed. This goes right down to the pronouns: "I" and "you" appear most in the first letter, but "we" is threaded all through the second letter. And that "we" isn't just an artifact of the writing: the audio makes that we-ness real by intertwining Stede's and Ed's voices as the letter continues, using sound to create connection.

Mary reads the first letter sitting on her and Stede's bed--an extremely intimate location, but the letter is stilted and formal. It conveys distance, not closeness. In contrast, the second letter is written from and about distance, but it improbably manages to create intimacy.

The first letter was written out of obligation to the recipient, but this letter is written in hope of connection. The first letter is about Stede's hope for happiness, the second is about his certainty that happiness exists. And the first letter starts with "you" and ends with "I," but the second letter starts with "I": Stede knows what he wants now. He's not just running from something, he's running towards something.

And the largest spiraled parallel is this: Mary's letter was an ending, but Ed's letter is a continuation. The first letter focused on practicalities and closed a door. The second is focused on romantic fantasy--but not the kind of fantasies that drove Stede to write things like "we only have this one life" in the first letter. The kind of fantasies that bind tightly to reality, make life worth living, and keeps doors from closing.

And so, where the first letter created pain in its recipient, pushed its reader down into a dark place, the second is a gift of hope, and it lifts its reader up out of the darkness.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #omfd meta #omfd season 2 #stede bonnet #ed teach #still goin #sleep is for wusses

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hiswitchcraft · 1 year

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Do you have any thoughts/information about like

Enchanting/blessing an existing object? Idk if I'm using correct terms but placing magic onto something.

I used to when I was a little more physically capable stitch sigils onto my stuffed animals and have thought about undoing stitches to hide spell jars or crystals in the stuffing (before of course redoing the stitches) so that they can be a lil magic.

But I've also like the idea of attaching spells to things like jewelry (I don't have many that have actual crystals or anything) that look cute and I'd love to use as a charm, and I also always like the idea of attaching magic to letters and gifts to wish good fortune or protection on the recipient? Blessing on shoes maybe for safe travels and avoiding injury, or similar charms on other pieces of clothing... I just wouldn't know how to go about it, especially with things I want to keep physical alterations to a minimum with.

Enchanting is the term you're looking for I believe! Stitching sigils into stuffed animals is already so creative, inventive and resourceful I can't imagine you needing my help. But I do have plenty of thoughts and maybe I can give you a bit of guidance or further inspiration!

A Rough Guide to Enchanting

When you enchant something, you are basically just transferring a spell, or specific energy onto an object so it holds a certain property.

There are any number of ways you can do this. There's probably useful methods I won't list here, haven't heard of, or haven't though of. A lot of spell methods and components can be applied here and I'll go over some of them and then how you using or mixing them might look!

Herbs - This is the first method that comes to mind when I think of enchanting. You can set out a small object in a bunch of herbs that correspond to the property you want overnight. A lot of people also put the herbs in water, which could be magical, add a candle or put the whole thing under the full moon. You can also make this method more complicated by mixing in other methods but I get into that below!

Sigils - Sigils are your best friend here. You can draw them out in smoke, water or oil. You can burn them and mix the ashes in water or oil. You can draw them onto things. Sew them into things. You can draw them on yourself, and much more. The possibilities are endless. A very simple way to give an object a property is to put a sigil on it.

Anointing - You can make a magical water or oil by setting it out under a certain moon phase or astrological event, mixing things into it it, or drawing sigils in it. Then you can anoint the item with that. You can also burn things like sigils or herbs and use the ashes in this way or in a mixture for anointing, transferring the sigil spell to the object.

Smoke - Another way to use plants and herbs, select an herb (that is safe to burn) or create a bundle of herbs and burn them to create smoke. Let the smoke envelop the item to enchant it with the property or properties of those herbs.

Elemental enchanting - If you wanted an object to generally have the properties you associate with an element, you can enchant it with that element's energy. So for example you could bury an object under the full moon to give it the Earth's energies.

Mixing methods & using other ingredients I think all the methods above can work on their own can but you can also mix them or add other ingredients! If you wanted to, you could use smoke, then anoint the item, and let it sit out overnight under the full moon in herbs/an herb mixture/or with other ingredients in a bowl besides herbs, like sigils, or even tarot cards. I love using tarot cards in spells! The possibilities are endless here. Get creative with the ingredients you use.

Petitions You can get creative with the other ingredients besides herbs or sigils but there's another component I want to suggest here, and that is petitions. I have a post about them here but basically a petition is a sort of instruction set or contract with a spell for exactly what it will do, when it will do it, and when or what will stop it. This is a great thing to include in all spells in my opinion but it's particularly good for when you need something very specific and may be useful if you want to enchant something with a property or goal that's less general or just unusual. It also may be use to give the enchantment a fuel source or a kill switch. This is what makes petitions great for all spell work!

Visualization & your own energy This is both a step you may want to include and a little more an advanced suggestion. So first of all, when you enchant or do any spell really you can visualize the energy for the enchantment going into the object and focus to raise energy to charge the spell. Another thing you can do, if you are familiar with manipulating energy is to manipulate your own into the object to charge it or connect it to you.

Some final thoughts I can see why you'd want to enchant jewelry. That's probably one of the most common things people like to enchant because you wear it all the time, ideal for warding in my opinion but anyways! I know you mentioned wanting to enchant things like clothes or accessories without altering them too much and hopefully I covered that plenty. I think creating a mixture of herbs or other ingredients and setting them out in the full moon is idea for jewelry although many of the methods I mentioned could work. Using sigils with some mixture of Theban script would be an obvious choice for letters. I made and enchanted a bookmark for my girlfriend this way. But of course some of the other methods I mentioned would work as well. I'm so into DIY that I'd probably just create a patch or draw sigils on clothing or shoes... but not everyone wants that look, y'know? You could just draw sigils on the bottoms of shoes or use magical water when you clean the shoes. You could also use smoke. We're back to the possibilities are endless!

I think all of your ideas for properties to enchant objects with are great and I hope this helps you accomplish every single one of them, if you need help don't be afraid to follow up or message me!

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tired-reader-writer · 9 months

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G-witch AU Infodump

Enabled by @werewolfcoochie @marchdancer @sharpdistances @germanpillow @kallista-dragonsoul and @iwantthatdickgrayson here is me infodumping about random shit in my G-witch AU:

After being rescued by Ellyus, El4n takes on a new name and identity— one he would choose for himself— though Shin Sei doesn't quite have the means necessary to turn his face into something else, nor does he remember what his original face is supposed to look like anyways.

Anyways, his new name is Nary, bc “nary” means “nothing, none” and he's basically someone who has nothing, starting from scratch with a clean slate and even before that he had nothing. Also it's a reference to @stil-lindigo 's fantastic poem-comic here and @telamont 's fic may the little garden where you smile, last forever since I read both of them at roughly within the same timeframe and they double-teamed up on me in terms of brainrot. I am not sorry for this.

I'm still struggling over his new surname however, though Frey is a temporary placeholder— as a reference to the goddess Frigg whose divine domains included clairvoyance and prophecy, and though Nary himself is no prophet his love interest is so hmmm. Does Ellyus count as an Odin figure? I'm not well-versed with Norse mythology. (what El definitely is is a trickster/prophet/fey type character)

Shin Sei in this AU is comprised of the friends and families of the slaughtered Vanadis researchers who want justice/vengeance for their fallen loved ones— and so support Prospera in her schemes. There's also mercurian folk in there but yeah.

Ellyus gets his mother and Shin Sei to fake/develop a new identity and backstory for Nary/El4n. It's up to him whether he comes back to Asticassia but I like to think he does.

He dyes his hair the same colour as the woman who's presumably his mother, the lady with the birthday cake? Yeah? The same brown.

He still wears soft earrings bc this analysis of El4n's gender thing lives in my head rent-free. He also wears a lot more feminine clothing because he can. (EDIT: added the link that I forgot to add bc fucking hell I knew I was forgetting smth)

He has a new hairstyle. I actually have a design in mind but since I can't draw right now... lemme dig up my gallery in hopes that there's something that looks like it—

(I'm not sure if I could share these, as far as I could track these were drawn by the original artist of the comic this character is from, I eventually seek to replace these w my own drawings when I can.)

He probably ends up taking the surname of some Shin Sei employee, though argh, it fucking pains me that we know practically nothing about Shin Sei!! Who's Godoy and what does he even do?!

The Plant Quetta attack does not happen. There will be another attack to replace it, alright, but it's been moved down the timeline. I don't know when it'll be or by whom, but it happens on Earth, while Ellyus is there. Why is he there? Dunno, probably some GUND-ARM related reason. He's one of the main mechanics of Aerial after all, and someone who's heavily involved in the production of GUND-prosthetics.

Speaking of Ellyus' engineering work, Shin Sei did develop the drone technology Prospera mentions in the witch trial— it's just that Ellyus is the one who created it. Maybe he could also be present in the trial room? His presence wouldn't really help against Delling but hey, it's the thought that counts. Besides, he (and we the audience) already knows Miorine will come to save the day.

Delling is fucking dead. No mercy for the fucker, he probably dies in the same attack that lethally wounded Ellyus? Or perhaps after that, in another incident. Vim Jeturk is accused of the murder, and subsequently silenced by Prospera and/or Shaddiq.

Shaddiq takes the presidency. Ellyus left behind pre-recorded video messages tailored to each recipient, he sat down and recorded them before he died, set to automatically be sent to the ppl he wants in the Know after his funeral, and Shaddiq and El4n's messages include the entire backstory, basically, and so Shaddiq knows about Quiet Zero and who it's for. He seeks out Prospera and basically proposes an alliance— much of their goals align, he can use QZ's might to strong-arm favorable negotiations for Earth, he knows who QZ's for and realizes that Ellyus can be “alive/free” again like Ericht since he's deduced that the night Ellyus went missing from his hospital room and came back dead was actually him being uploaded into a GUND-bit.

(It's part of Ellyus' machinations, to protect Miorine from Prospera, to bridge Shaddiq to a strong ally who shares a lot of his goals, and... yeah. Fuck Spacians, this alliance is gon be a bulldozer.)

Shaddiq does not ally with Peil.

Peil will meet a karmic end. I don't know how yet, but El4n and El5n are involved. Anyways, that'll probably happen during or after the struggle for the Benerit Group presidency.

Guel actually learns something beyond “daddy good”, dammit.

Miorine and Prospera have a... complex, shall we say, relationship. Prospera holds back from roping her into revenge unlike in canon— mostly because of Ellyus' pleas to not let GUND-ARM be ruined/soaked in blood, partly because Miorine is the one who resurrected and kept true to GUND's ideals of medical research and stuff. Prospera hates her bc well, Delling's daughter, but on the other hand... a successor of sorts to carrying the GUND research torch. Miorine doesn't trust her, no, buuuut she still can't deny that together w Shaddiq they're... actually doing decent work. (Again, unlike in canon LOL)

Suletta's off to the side having her own Identity Journey. The video message to her also explains her origins and everything, so she now knows she's a repli-child. I don't know what I'll do with the journey proper but I want the eventual outcome to be: “I am not Ericht, I was never a Samaya and that's just fine. I'm Suletta, and the name Mercury is mine in a way it isn't for mom. I still love you, mom, Aerial/Eri too, but I am a Mercury and I'm proud of that. I still love you but I'm me and you're not my entire world.” kinda deal. Basically, independence, loving her family on her own terms.

No Plant Quetta means no tomato paste and no divorce! Huzzah! (I mean, another attack still happens but due to Ellyus' and Miorine + Earth House's influence Suletta focuses more on disaster relief and evacuation and stuff.)

Adding a new layer to Ellyus' non-linear time thing (I've posted about it, I've linked to it before in another post, it can be found in his character tag), he's allowed to make phone calls to One (1) person in the past. That person happens to be Jeru Ogul, aka Shaddiq's child self, way before he's learnt to put up barriers around his heart.

(Ellyus was never meant to be human. If the G-witch cast proper is comprised of 3D beings and us the audience 4D, he'd be like, 3.5D. That's why he's allowed time shenanigans by me. Only as far as I allow it, though. He's a plot device, a robot w its guts exposed. I have also posted about this before. I won't link to it here bc well, I already have before and ppl didn't seem all too interested in the makings and structure of his character. Meta-narrative fuckery ftw.)

The calls are sporadic, but kid Jeru comes to hold this mysterious friend person in the phone very dear to his heart. Their non-judegmental and gentle encouragement was one of the things that kept him going in those days.

He's buried the memory now, in the deepest layers of his heart, under twenty vaults, along with the tender hurt and angry child self that was Jeru Ogul and everything that it represents. It fuels him, it's his impetus, but it's hidden, carefully so.

It's a surprise to the both of them when they find out.

(basically, Doylist reason was that I needed a narrative tool strong enough to break through his walls and allow him to be changed for the better, to stop having tunnel-vision, and Ellyus became the narrative device responsible for that task)

This development allowed for Shaddiq to be more proactive and open. To the point he might actually ask for Miorine's support/help during the competition for the presidency. I'm still contemplating it.

I don't know what I'll do with Dawn of Fold yet.

Not the Space Assembly League, really.

Somebody help.

Well, that's it for this episode of info-dumping! Thank you for enabling me, I was afraid to do it bc it's disheartening to scream your heart out into the void and have no response.

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yellowloid · 1 year

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hello!! would you like to share your thoughts on the ultracheese with us? i would love to read your take on it!

hi anon, thank you for asking and sorry for the late reply! i haven't really had the time lately to sit down and go insane on the internet + i knew this post would be a long one and considering the song we're talking about, i wanted to give it the time it deserves.

but let's cut to the chase, this is going to be a milex analysis. i do think this song is about miles. i've read tumblr theories saying the 'you' alex is referring to is actually a personification of music itself, and i think the genius annotations may also refer to that. although there are lines that are, indeed, references to music, i don't think the 'you' he mentions is Music itself. quite the contrary, actually. i think the ultracheese is, recipient-wise, one of his most direct songs: he hides behind imagery, yes - it wouldn't be alex's writing if he didn't -, but some bits almost feel like a punch to the gut for how direct they are. this straightforwardness is clear starting from the very first lines:

"still got pictures of friends on the wall / i suppose we aren't really friends anymore / maybe i shouldn't ever have called that thing friendly at all"

the 'we' he uses in the second line (and then later, "we'll be there at the back of the bar / in a booth like we usually were / every time there was a rocket launch or some big event") suggests he's talking to someone who's very blatantly referred to as one of his friends in the first line. however, if the first line seems to suggests they're still friends (or else he wouldn't have those pictures still up on the wall), the second line immediately crashes through that image, and we're hit with the revelation that something went wrong: maybe he's not friend with this person anymore, maybe there was a falling out, or maybe things simply aren't the same anymore. something happened behind closed doors that we don't know about.

but the third line reveals something else. "maybe i shouldn't ever have called that thing friendly at all": he's reflecting on his relationship with this (ex-)friend of his, but also admitting to something. he knows there was something different in their friendship, something that other people wouldn't exactly have considered "friendly". it also sounds like he's mocking himself, almost a way of asking himself 'how could i be so blind, calling that a simple friendship? how could i not see it, how could i not call it what it was?', and he's coming to terms with the fact that maybe all that fantasizing he talks about and admits to in golden trunks - which imo is just as direct of a song as this one (and yes i also think that one is about miles. obviously. next question) - wasn't exactly the textbook definition of a friendship.

however, as he says in the next lines, friendships as deep and special as that one are sometimes the most at risk of being spoilt - by what we don't know, but something definitely happened, because he sings:

"get freaked out from a knock at the door / when i haven't been expecting one / and didn't that used to be part of the fun, once upon a time?"

so this has multiple interpretations based on different timelines, creating a contrast between past and present. first of all, it could be implying that in his past with this person there was a certain amount of secrecy involved, to the point that they'd get freaked out by a sudden knock at the door (maybe after sneaking off together?), but at the same time the risk of being found out made everything more exciting (cough cough secret lovers + alex having a thing for (semi-)public stuff iykwim cough cough)

but now that *something* in his relationship with this person isn't the same anymore, the verse could be implying that in the present the person at the door is the very person he has history with, and he gets freaked out because he wasn't expecting visits (sudden confrontation) + the fear of being found out isn't thrilling anymore, because now it's him and only him who risks being found out (seen for who he really is, something he doesn't want to accept nor let other people see).

this verse also always reminds me of that one tlsp interview from 2016:

'The pair live, Turner says, “seven minutes away from each other”. Ask them what a typical night out entails, and they look at each other, then proceed to not be very forthcoming, though Turner will eventually concede that “some of what happens in those situations is disclosed, through the veil of song, on the record. There’s references.”'

(from that "Lovers Reunited" interview, i just found this abstract on tumblr but the link was corrupted so idk what magazine it was. if anyone knows pls let me know)

they used to visit each other frequently because they lived close and they were close, but now? now he's not expecting any visits and it sure sounds like he doesn't even want visits. he's scared of opening the door and having to face whoever's behind it.

"we'll be there at the back of the bar / in a booth like we usually were / every time there was a rocket launch or some big event"

he's just walking down memory lane, reminiscing about how his relationship with the other person used to be - but the previous lines make it clear that things aren't like that anymore, and all that's left are the memories of something that isn't anymore.

"what a death i died writing that song / start to finish, with you looking on / it stays between us, steinway, and his sons / 'cause it's the ultracheese"

here i'm conflicted. he's most likely referring to this song, because he literally says "it's the ultracheese", but at the same time the fact that he says that it stays between them + the piano he used to compose it... it makes me think this whole song could be referring to another song that never saw the light of day, and he's just going meta and talking about that song through another song. either way, there's still that feeling of secrecy ("it stays between us"), possibly due to the song being too raw, too intimate for him to be comfortable sharing it with the world except that person, someone he trusts with his deepest truths; but "it's the ultracheese", something too straightforward that made him too vulnerable. dying while writing it could refer to that but also to him knowing the other person was with him during the process, maybe even participating in writing it - tlsp song? -, so they knew about it and most likely didn't realize it was about them (or maybe they did?) (this wouldn't be the first time when it comes to alex writing about miles *with* miles, maybe without him realizing. the element of surprise is a great example of that)

"perhaps it's time that you went for a walk / dressed like a fictional character / from a place they called america in the golden age / trust the politics to come along"

according to genius, these lines are a reference to the recurrent theme of him wearing a costume, a persona that works as a mask to his true self (genius annotators mention his greaser persona, hence why "america in the golden age"). this would have nothing to do with milex, of course, even though we could open a completely different discussion on how his talk about façades/costumes/masks (therefore hiding his true identity, which as we all know is a very present theme in the new album) could be considered a metaphor for hiding his queerness. but i'm not gonna focus on that rn.

however, i find the mention of america and politics very interesting because it redirects us to golden trunks ("the leader of the free world") - and, well, you know. top tier milex song. @ alex exquisite reference to one of your own most queer songs in another queer ass song. 10/10 great queerception

"when you were just tryna orbit the sun / when you were just about to be kind to someone / because you had the chance"

see this is the thing. i always get confused about these lines. the part about orbiting the sun makes sense, like genius says it might be about him just trying to live his life (and may i add, not being able to without being haunted by unwanted thoughts about himself or someone else?), but the part about being kind to someone etc... idk. it always leaves me without a clear interpretation. feel free to let me know what you think sjfhsgd

"i might look as if i'm deep in thought / but the truth is i'm probably not / if i ever was"

this always reminds me of this quote:

“People tell me I’m a bit… dreamy. But I like the idea of that, of being somewhere else.”

it sounds like he's mocking the idea of him people have - of this mysterious man who's always lost in super deep and introspective thoughts. he's not only telling them he's not that, but he's also saying he probably never was, meaning that he thinks he hasn't ever given things proper consideration, the reflection they deserved, dismissing them too quickly, and he's berating himself for that.

and then we get to the final, heart-breaking lines:

"the dawn won't stop weighing a tonne / i've done some things that i shouldn't have done / but i haven't stopped loving you once"

first of all, let me just say this is the perfect close to the song AND the album. the silence that comes once he stops singing is... haunting. he doesn't need to say anything else. and really he couldn't even if he wanted to. there's a looming feeling of resignation to his regrets. (which, now that we have the new album, REALLY makes it clear that the car picks up from where tbhc left off. it's the same feeling - maybe with a difference in nuance, but it's definitely still there, and i personally think it's the most prominent vibe in the car. but that's not what we're talking about here.)

it's really heart-wrenching how he just... admits to things in these lines. about himself and also about his relationship with that person.

the part about dawn weighing a tonne implies how difficult it is for him to live every single day (every new dawn) carrying the weight of his mistakes (a tonne / things i shouldn't have done). he admits to his wrongs, his past actions that he now carries as regrets. but at the same time, regardless of his mistakes and no matter what happened, no matter how bad he fucked up and how sorry he is and how he wishes he could go back and fix it all - he still wants that person to know he hasn't stopped loving them once. he's always loved them, through it all, and that never changed. it'll never change.

he almost NEVER uses the word love in his songs. he's almost never that straightforward. and yet he decided to be here. make of that what you will.

so what do i think of this song? is it 100% about miles? we will never know, but it could be. as always, this is just speculation.

do i think it's a love song? potentially, but a very sad one at that. it's clear that there's a lot of regret and the relationship with the person in question isn't going really well - either platonically or romantically.

but i think that first and foremost this song is an apology letter. for doing what he did, for making a mess and making them both go through so much pain. for fucking up and regretting every misstep that led them to the current situation. it's a way of saying "yes, i fucked up and i will have to live with that for the rest of my life. but for what it's worth, and despite my mistakes, i need you to know that i never stopped loving you".

#as you read this you should also consider i'm sick with a fever so i'm exponentially closer to insanity than usual #but.......... come on. you know what i mean #sorry if there's any mistakes or smth like that i'm not in the best conditions rn #also (as always) don't come for me we're just having fun #answered #my theories

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annabtg · 2 months

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So I've just read Fixed Luck, and after getting over the initial bout of yelling at you for writing something so beautifully painful, I needed to ask: how did you even come up with an idea like that? And especially the idea of keeping it within canon.

Hi Jamie ❤ I appreciated your yelling, actually, as long as you're okay after reading ❤

Cut for length!

So - this all started because of my Valentine Exchange assignment, actually. My recipient said they liked angst and pain in their canon fics, and not ignoring the war, so I set out to write angsty wartime canon.

But what would the source of angst be? Relationship angst seemed like the wrong kind of angst for a wartime fic. I feel like the best kind of angst to go with war is desperation, the idea that no matter what you do, it's not going to end well - which we know is what happened in canon.

At the same time, I find temptation... tempting. This is a very personal thing but I grew up adhering to rules in a strict and rigid fashion and perhaps that's why stuff that's *forbidden* or *naughty* intrigues me. And I'd been long toying with the idea for a fic that focuses on the forbidden for a Sirius/Lily smutfic so the idea that "they must stop" (but can't/don't want to) was something that had been floating inside my head for a while.

And then there's the idea for addiction - addiction, drugs, warnings for too-much-of-a-good-thing are practically my daily life, and they're things I feel knowledgeable about and comfortable exploring. I don't remember how I thought of Felix Felicis, of all things, to go with it all - was it some thought of having luck factored in, was I going through possibly addictive substances from canon, did I just stumble across a post mentioning it and it clicked? I can't place it, but eventually, all of that converged in my head, and the moment I had the general idea I knew it was going to work perfectly with canon.

So there you have it - not a single stroke of inspiration, but a lot of little things that worked together to create a novel (hopefully? I didn't check to see if it's been done before!) concept!

#answered ask #fic related ask #fixed luck

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 7 months

Text

The sounds of jingle bells

Another Ridgeside Village story about members of Amethyne's family, but this time it's about Louie.

(It's actually more like a Christmas story, but I don't want to wait so... yeah.)

_________________________________________

It's funny to realise that wherever you hear the music of jingle bells, your mind will immediately associate them with winter holidays. Not surprising, to be honest, because they perfectly match the festive atmosphere, when you can finally forget about your worries and business for a while, put aside all sad thoughts and join the general fun, counting down the last minutes to the beginning of the New Year. It is at this time comes the holiday so loved and anticipated by many adults and children - the Feast of the Winter Star, probably the most important event for the whole Ferngill Republic.

In every town garden, in every house there is a majestic Holiday tree decorated in garlands and tinsel, with a star on its top - the symbol of the festival itself. How many smells, how many pleasant aromas from various feasts and sweets surround the place where the mighty tree stands. How many beautiful gifts, decorated in shiny wrappings and bows, is nearby the tree or under it, waiting for their recipient. Children's laughter, joyful greetings, round dances around the tree, clappers and games, bengal lights, gifts and congratulations - even the coldest heart will melt at this truly magical time.

Ah, and of course, the ringing of bells... Loud, energetic, now and then making you dance to the cheerful music, or on the contrary, barely audible, like a lullaby, creating the perfect background for acappella.

For one person, however, jingle bells create very different associations. Not really holiday spirit, oh no.

For Louie, the sound of jingle bells is the time when he will finally be surrounded by a mountain of worthy gifts, which he naturally deserves. It's when even his Grandmother and the servants will be completely immersed in pre-holiday worries, paying no attention to Louie himself, letting him do more pranks and get away with it. It's when his cousin will still have her nose buried in her studies and won't notice Louie stealing a large piece of sweet cake for himself from the plate. This is the time when his parents and older brother will again say on the phone that they are too busy to come to the Feast...

It's when he, the worthy heir to the Amethyne, has to get out of a warm bed from the very early morning, and instead of opening presents in the common hall near the most beautiful tree in the whole world (because they have only the best, of course), he has to wrap himself in a fur coat and go in the middle of nowhere! And don't tell him that the main public garden in Pelican Town is not that far from Ridgeside Village - that's just criminal and barbaric, to make him go there for a stupid celebration! He can celebrate perfectly well at home, without the faces of those peasants.

Alas, no one gave him the right to protest, and pissing off Grandmother wasn't the best idea, so with a sullen face and resentful of the world (especially the two mayors who thought a joint celebration of the two villages in Pelican Town was a great idea), the boy followed the head of their family, along with two servants and his cousin, not forgetting to mutter something not quite polite. It was impossible even to chat with someone: Maive was talking about the festivities and giving instructions to the servants, Sonny and Irene were listening attentively to Madame, holding gifts and other things in both hands, and the cousin, Ariah, was reading a book (and walking at the same time?), not paying attention to the world around her, even without tripping over drifts of snow - how impressive is that?

By the time they reached the centre of Pelican Town, all the residents had managed to gather around the town's Holiday tree, and the tender fingers on Louie's hand were freezing and pink from the cold temperature. He knew he needed to bring gloves with him, blasted weather! Ugh...

He didn't understand why he needed to be here at all. Holiday is a holiday, presents and candy are nice thing, but still. He saw how someone is jumping around like a madman near that tree, which was sad to look at - they call it a "holiday tree"? In his mansion - the best of the best, beautiful trees, not this poor excuse.

Sigh, and now, someone's pouring more food from the common table, and it's actually Irene's dishes that she had prepared and brought here, at Grandmother's command. Oh, simpletons. They couldn't have tasted anything better, and here was an opportunity to taste food from the Amethyne family's own chef! Only the best quality and the best spices, let the peasants envy him for having everything! His family has such untold wealth that even the money of all the people at this feast won't even reach one hundredth of Amethyst's financial fortune. The newest videogames consoles, the best toys, food and sweets that are beyond the reach of any of these poor people. Everything he want.

Ha! He's the happiest kid in the whole republic! He have everything. A family? He have family, you could say that, but about that... Friends? And why would he, worthy Amethyne, need these friends, if they don't appreciate such a great opportunity - to be near him, a member of one of the most influential family, enjoying his presence? Those fools are lucky to have people like him living in this place.

Then why then does he feel so... miserable? Sad? Ah, nonsense. It's all because his Granny dragged him out into the cold, that must be it for sure.

Oh, what a bad comedy, it's begins.... The stupidest Winter Star Feast tradition, according to Louie himself, is the secret Santa. Why is it stupid? Because he has to give an expensive, worthy gift to some peasant (he doesn't mind, actually) and in return, he gets some trash and dirt from another person. And no matter how Sonny tries to explain to young Amethyne that what matters most is gratitude for the gift, kindness and holiday spirit - all to no avail. Gratitude? He should be grateful for the gift of a dirty shell from Jas last year?! They cannot be serious! That's an insult to his person. No, he knows the kids here have it rough, but this?

Though Louie had felt a prick of conscience a year ago when Jas had cried and run to her aunt after a rude comment about her gift, but the spoilt boy tried to hide it with his usual mask of cynicism, arrogance and indifference. It was more habitual than feeling guilty...

Taking the intended gift, he reluctantly approached the person he needed to give it to this year, and without wasting an extra minute on idle talk, walked back to his family. That girl, Penny, was very excited and grateful. Naturally, since Louie had heard she was living in a trailer, an uncomfortable tin can. With no money for a proper place to live, she didn't get proper presents, the boy thought. Just don't die from happiness, silly peasant, hehe.

Oh, Yoba... Who's pulling his sleeve of his coat so hard? Does the imbecile know how much such this clothes cost?

Farmer? Ah, hello. Happy Feast of Winter Start, et cetera, et cetera...

Louie couldn't believe that in front of he was as grown up as the others - would an adult dress up so stupidly? A red nose and artificial reindeer antlers with bells, that silly jingle bells - one of the symbols of this festive gathering. Reindeer? They're more like a goat! Ha! It's funny, isn't it? No?

Truth be told, their costume was really good, and it wasn't much fun to be rude to the only person the boy could call a friend, despite Louie's own grumpiness.

Secret Santa? Had the farmer become his secret Santa this year?

Let Louie guess, they'll give him a dirty turnip or a parsnip they've grown on their own patch of land? Or another seashell found on an adventure that still stinks of the seaweed? Or maybe some potted flower? And if the flower turns out to be worthwhile, perhaps it could be next to the Louie's exclusive collection of flowers? Could they imagine what an honour that would be for them, eh, silly Farmer?

Wh- what's that?! It's... No, he knows what it is, but he still can't believe his eyes. A stone as beautiful as the sky, a rare rock that shimmers so brightly in all the colours of the rainbow.... Prismatic Shard! A real Prismatic Shard? They sold their whole farm to give Louie a gift?! It's a very expensive and very rare stone! Even in his family, one of the richest in the entire Republic, only Louie's grandfather owned such a stone and wore it as necklace.

Little Louie remembers a moment from his childhood when his Grandpa, holding him in his arms, would yank a pendant with this stone over the head of a laughing baby for whom it was a kind of toy. And how his then still living grandfather had laughed with him, a rare moment when they weren't members of the Amethyne family with huge responsibilities on their shoulders and duties behind them, but just normal family. When mum and dad were also around, smiling at the sight of such a lovely picture - the bonding of the oldest and youngest member of the family; how his older brother, much younger, looked at his little brother with curiosity. And even as the stern grandmother hovered over the baby, bestowing a meagre smile - the smile! - on her dearest grandson.

A gift like this, not just an expensive item - but a reminder to him of what family is all about. A gift for him? To him, who, from the first day the Farmer had come to the valley, had treated them horribly, mocking them in every possible way? They have friends, family, children of their own, for Yoba's sake! Why him?

....A friend?

Not a spoilt rich brat, but a lonely boy? Good at heart? What are you saying?...

Friend...

Louie doesn't care who's looking at him at this moment. He doesn't care that the snow from the farmer's jacket fell right on his hat. He didn't even notice how he dropped the gift itself from his hands as he hugged the Farmer tightly. He didn't care at all that little droplets as clear as dew appeared in his eyes when the Farmer hugged him back.

And those silly jingle bells on the Farmer's horns were no longer as annoying as they had been before, and another association came into the lonely boy's life.

A friend.

_________________________________________

Note: in my vision, the prismatic shard is considered the rarest and most expensive gem in the entire Stardew Valley universe. So much so that even in the Amethyne family, the jewel was owned by Louie's grandfather, who inherited it from his father, and upon his death, his grandfather passed it on to Louie's father.

#sdv #stardew valley #sdv mods #ridgeside village #rsv #rsv louie #rsv headcanons

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