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softforloki · 1 year

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Chapter 7: The Mission

Chapter List

Word Count: 4,282

Summery: A HYDRA soirée is infiltrated and secrets are revealed

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Detailed descriptions of scaring (cuts, burns), torture, and suicidal ideation after the chapter break. Read at your own discretion.

. . .

Loki had never particularly cared for the color red. Growing up he’d associated it with his brother, but his perspective had warped over many years. It was an angry color. It reminded him of war, of pain, of blood. No, he didn’t care for the color red at all.

But Selene sure was making a hell of an argument for it.

The crimson velvet wrapped snugly around her figure, conservative enough for the party with its long sleeves and collar that covered her identifiable tattoo. The dress did, however, have a slit cut up to above the knee, revealing a tease of skin when she crossed her legs. She’d matched the shade of her lipstick to the gown, and she’d pinned her hair in a twist at the back of her head.

Needless to say, she looked damn good and Loki was having a hard time keeping his eyes off her and focusing on the task at hand.

SHIELD had intercepted correspondence between a known HYDRA official and a pair of sympathizers in England. The two parties had been communicating for several weeks, but neither had ever met in person…. Until now. Fury had sent in Selene and Loki to take the sympathizers' places at a get-together the couple had been invited to in Germany.

Loki would be taking the place of a Dr. Robert Laing (“I have the degree and you get the title,” Selene had complained), who taught at a medical school in London. Selene was to pose as his wife, Eleanor Laing, an American professor of philosophy and ethics who’d moved to England to work at University close to Laing’s. The two had met at a coffee shop and become inseparable; having vigorous discussions about ethics, societal values….. and Nazism.

“And now they’re being invited to HYDRA house parties. These two sound like a real power couple.” Selene had remarked, flipping through her file of Eleanor Laing. “How can this lady teach moral philosophy and be a Nazi?”

“That’s her personal philosophy, I suppose.” Loki had shrugged.

“Her philosophy sucks.”

Currently, Loki and Selene were seated at the bar in the house of Leonhard Hansen, a well-respected HYDRA member. They were tasked with talking up the other guests, as well as replicating any documents they could find with information on HYDRA numbers, plans, really anything that Fury could use.

“As much as I appreciate your commitment to the part,” Selene murmured to Loki, leaning in close. “If you’d take your eyes off me for six seconds you’d see our guy riiiiiight over there.”

“Don’t make me do such a thing, darling.” He muttered back, but tore his gaze away to survey the room. Sure enough, he spotted Hansen surrounded by a group of associates mere feet away.

“Look interested, he’s coming over.” Selene placed her hand on his knee, then looked up at the man, an absentminded smile spreading across her face as though she’d only just noticed him approaching.

“I don’t recognize you,” Hansen said with a friendly smile in English, accent cutting through every other word. “Am I to assume you are our friends from London?”

“You would be correct, sir.” Loki replied amicably, letting his role fall over him like a well-fitting cloak. “And would it be safe to say you are our gracious host?”

“Indeed, I am Leonhard Hansen.” He took Loki’s hand, shaking it. “Dr. Laing, Mrs. Laing.”

“It’s so good to finally put a face to the name.” Selene simpered, offering her hand to him. He took it, pressing a brief kiss to the back of it.

“Likewise. How are you finding Munich?”

They made small talk as Hansen sat alongside them, waving over a young red-headed woman. Loki estimated her to be half Hansen’s age with an uncomfortable coil in his gut as she sidled up next to him and he wrapped an arm around her waist. “My wife, Inga.” He proclaimed. Loki had to keep himself from retching.

After introductions, Selene immediately took to Inga, looping an arm through her own. “Mr. Hansen, you wouldn’t mind if I borrowed your lovely wife for a moment? It’s been so long since I’ve had the company of another woman.”

“Am I not enough for you, my love?” Loki asked teasingly.

“One can only be in the company of a single person for so long, dearest.” She kissed his cheek, leaving a faint sticky print that left Loki’s heart pounding. “You have your friend, and I’ll have mine.”

Inga smiled brightly as Selene led her away to a couch in the corner of the room, naive to how her brain was about to be picked about anything and everything regarding her and her husband’s personal lives. Loki had to smother a proud smirk as Selene sat the young lady down, resting one hand gently on her arm, lips curling into a friendly smile as they talked.

“She’s left her mark on you,” Hansen chuckled, offering Loki a handkerchief.

“Am I to take that as a bad thing?” He replied lightly, but still took the cloth. He reluctantly wiped the lipstick from his face, ultimately deciding it would draw too much attention.

I’ll have her amend this later. He thought, handing Hansen his handkerchief back with his murmured thanks.

“Tell me,” Hansen waved down the bartender, ordering his drink in German. “How did you and Mrs. Laing meet?”

Loki launched into the story he and Selene had rehearsed on the flight over, about Eleanor’s move to London and their respective work.

While he spoke of his fictional relationship, though, he found himself reflecting on his true one. He thought of his time that night when he and Selene had kissed each other breathless, falling asleep on the couch in a tangle of limbs and hair. He remembered how the terms “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” had felt strange in his mouth. They felt common- limiting. They almost mitigated Loki’s feelings for her, limiting his desires for their relationship. But he also remembered the smile that he couldn’t help when she’d spoken the terms back to him. He decided he didn’t mind common, as long as she understood he’d pluck the stars from the sky if she merely asked.

He remembered knowing glances they’d shared when fellow Avengers would tease them for their proximity. He thought of the innocent smiles they’d given Raven if she ever squinted at them a little too long. He recalled Selene taking his hand, and asking so sweetly if they could keep their relationship private while they settled into things. He couldn’t fight a smile when he remembered how deeply he’d kissed her in response.

“Love is a precious thing, doctor. Cherish it.” Hansen clapped him on the shoulder, taking a swig of his gin. “Inga is my second wife, I was widowed for eight years before I met her. She’s the daughter of one of my supervisors; he was kind enough to give me his blessing when she caught my attention. I’m very grateful to be given a second chance at love.”

And how old is she? Loki thought bitterly as he nodded in understanding. “Speaking of, how many of your colleges are in attendance tonight?”

It took several minutes of Loki slowly wheedling information out of the HYDRA official (and several furtive magical refills of his drink) to finally get anything of substance. He mentally noted names and faces Hansen pointed out, watching carefully as his eyes became glassier and his words slurred, his English progressively worsening.

Inga Hansen returned to the bar, ordering a drink of her own. She took in her drunken husband with an unsurprised puff of air.

“He always does this.” She told Loki, easing him off the barstool. “I should go try to sober him up before the party ends.”

“Of course,” Loki inclined his head. “Do you require my assistance?”

“I can handle him, I’m used to it by now.” She gave him a sad smile. “Oh, Eleanor went to powder her nose.”

“Thank you,” He replied, smiling kindly at her as she dragged Leonhard Hansen away.

“You got all that, Rodgers?” Loki muttered, lifting his glass to his mouth to pretend to drink.

“Affirmative. Abyss is checking out upstairs.” Steve Rodgers’ voice in his ear piece informed him.

He hummed in understanding, magically vanishing his drink gradually to give the impression of drinking.

A minute later, Selene reappeared in the crowd, calling out to him. “Robert, Inga told me we can go see the garden out back. She painted such a picture for me!”

She slid next to him, placing a manicured hand on his shoulder, leaning in and whispering in his ear. “I found the office. I’ll sneak us in once we get outside, and you can cast illusions of us taking a lap around the garden. Now I’m saying something suggestive.”

Loki’s eyebrows flicked up, giving her a playful smirk. “Darling! We’re in public.”

“And I’m taking you somewhere private.” She winked, pulling him up. “Come, I want to see Inga’s dahlias.”

She led him by the hand out the back door, and ushered him into a darkened corner. Loki cast facsimiles of them strolling the garden hand in hand.

“Relax for me, it can feel kinda weird.” Selene rubbed Loki’s arms, then pushed him into the shadows.

Just as he released the deep breath he’d taken, Loki felt his body go incorporeal as he was surrounded by shadows. He felt his panic spike as the world warped and blackness consumed him. It was truly complete and total- he couldn't feel his own body or Selene’s hands on him. Luckily, it was over in a second. He stumbled out of the shadow, finding himself in a large gray office. He turned in time to see the shadow of the desk undulating, a humanoid form pulling off and shaping into Selene.

“You okay? Need a minute?” She asked worriedly, grabbing his hands to steady him. “I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you better, I didn’t really know how best to explain it.”

“I’ll be alright, you needn't apologize.” He assured as he took long, slow gulps of air.

“You wanna sit? We’re not in a rush.”

“Yet.” Rodgers muttered in their ears.

He went largely ignored as Loki nodded mutely, letting Selene lead him to Hansen’s desk chair. She rubbed her hands comfortingly up and down his arms, leaning over him from behind.

Images of the Void, of falling for what seemed like forever flashed across his vision. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, forcing himself to feel Selene’s hands, to hear her breathing. He was not there. He was safe. Well. Almost.

“I’m alright.” He said again, more sure of himself. “Let’s find those papers, shall we?”

The desk was relatively bare of anything that seemed remotely helpful, but there were two filing cabinets behind it. Selene and Loki each took one and set to work.

“How’s it going in there?” Rodgers asked on coms.

“There’s barely anything good in here.” Selene grunted. “Hansen doesn’t seem to have separate filing systems for personal and professional paperwork.”

“He likely doesn't have much; this is just an at home office.” Rodgers admitted. “The really damning stuff will be kept at their base of operations.”

“How good of Fury to send us on a wild goose chase.” Loki tutted, flicking through manilla files until he found one with the HYDRA logo printed on it. “There we are.”

“That’s probably the best we’ll get.” Selene said, quickly checking her remaining files. “Yup. Pretty sure these are real estate documents. Crack ‘er open, Lokes.”

“Whatever you’ve got, duplicate it, set the room back as you found it, and get out.” Rodgers advised.

Loki thumbed through the papers tucked into the file, scanning them quickly. With a wave of his hand he created perfect duplicates, neatly stacked on the desk. Selene slipped the file back in its proper place as Loki folded his papers and tucked them into the inner pocket of his suit jacket. They made sure everything was as it had been found, even readjusting the degree the swivel chair had been turned before Loki had sat in it.

“You wanna take us back to the garden?” Selene asked gently, taking his hand.

He let out a breath of air he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Yes, I think I prefer my methods. No offense, of course.”

“Hey, it’s not for everyone, I get it.” She brushed her fingers over his knuckles. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Loki vowed to spend the rest of the night thanking her after he was out of this damned house and Captain America was out of his ear. He transported them back to the garden in a flash of light, manipulating the promenading illusions to make their way back to the house.

“When they pass in front of us I’ll dismiss them and we can take their places.” He explained. “We don’t have to stay for the rest of the party, do we?”

“Pretty rude to get the host drunk and then immediately leave after poking around his stuff, don’t you think?” Selene grinned up at him, a devious twinkle in her eye.

Loki gripped her hips through the velvet of her dressing, and gave her a pained look that he hoped conveyed his desire. “We’ve got what we came for.”

“There’s still a good couple of hours of party left- if you left now it would only encourage suspicions.” Rodgers chimed in. “Plus you could probably learn more if you stayed.”

“You’ll live, I promise.” Selene teased, though her words were more for Rodgers’ sake. Her eyes had darkened, and he placed her hands over Loki’s- still on her hips. Behave, she mouthed. Loki felt himself actually shiver. Sweet Norns the hold this woman had on him. He nodded, too dumbfounded (and mildly aroused) to form words.

They made their way back into the party arm in arm, Selene deliberately pressing herself into Loki’s side. He shot her a reprimanding scowl that she met with an even glance. She seemed much more comfortable torturing Loki now that they were out of the immediate danger of being caught making their move. All they just had to do now was not blow their covers, which would be child's play.

Selene ran a hand slowly tantalizing, down his back, resting it on his waist. Loki bit back a groan. This was going to be a long night.

. . .

Loki sunk into his hotel bed with a relieved sigh. All decorum was forgotten as he flopped on his back, removing his earpiece. Selene kicked her shoes off, back turned to Loki as she started shedding jewelry.

“Steve, you make it to the safe house?” She asked. A pause. “Good, we’re turning off coms. We’ll see you tomorrow- stay safe.”

“Where is he staying, anyway?” Loki asked, staring at the ceiling.

“Some safe house in the next town over.” She replied. “It’s probably not as nice as this place.”

Loki laughed, delighted by the thought. “So we’re alone, now?”

“Yup! Give me your earpiece.” Selene held her hand out to Loki, who handed it over without getting up. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Selene moved away and out of view as she stored the communication devices away.

He sat up as she started pulling pins from her hair, updo falling away strand by strand. Loki watched in awe as she shook out her blond locks, a fistful of bobby pins falling to the hotel desk. She sighed in relief, massaging her scalp.

“Darling,” Loki purred, coming up behind her and pulling her against his chest. “Do you’ve any idea how desperately I’ve needed to get you alone all night?”

He relished in how Selene’s breath hitched as he kissed the very little skin her infuriating dress exposed. “I think I’ve got a pretty good idea,” She replied breathlessly.

“You are divine in this, dove.” He drew his hands up her sides, fingers gliding over the thick velvet.

“Better get a good long look, then.” Selene leaned back, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “I’m gonna shower.”

“Would you like company?” He asked suggestively.

“I thought I told you to behave earlier.” Selene pulled away, turning and slowly walking backwards.

“Is that request still in effect?”

“Sure is. And it wasn’t a request.” She smirked, reaching down slowly into her suitcase.

In a show of utter restraint, Loki averted his eyes from her backside as she rifled through her things for her pajamas and bathroom supplies. “I suppose I’ll get ready for bed, then.” He said, glancing towards the single king-sized bed.

“You do that.” Selene blew him a kiss, sliding into the bathroom and closing the door firmly behind her.

Loki sighed heavily, and went about changing into his own sleepwear. He decided to forego waiting to shower, opting to use his magic to cleanse himself of the little dirt and grime he’d picked up along day.

Though he was quite sure of his feelings for Selene, he was unconfident about the pace they were meant to be taking. They’d only been officially together for about two weeks- when was the acceptable time to start making good on his suggestive comments? He still knew very little about her past and what exactly had left her and her daughter so scarred, should he be the one to bring it up? What was meant to come first in a relationship: the childhood trauma, or mind-blowing sex?

Selene came back after her shower, towelling her damp hair. She wore a soft looking yellow tank top and purple shorts, and any trace of makeup had been wiped away. She pulled the towel away, revealing her hair mussed into blond tangles.

She was the most beautiful creature Loki had ever seen.

“Love,” He murmured, beckoning to her from his seat on the edge of the bed.

“Lokes,” She whispered back, a smile dancing on her unpainted- albeit still perfect- lips.

She stood over him, fingers slipped into his hair, combing gently through his curls. He placed his hands on her waist, drawing her closer to stand in between his legs. “Hello, dear.”

“Whatcha doing, lovey?” Selene purred back.

Oh, he liked that. Lovey. Her voice curled tenderly around the word. She gazed down at him like he was something precious, or someone worthy. Loki trailed his hands down her sides, fingers dipping tentatively under the hem of her shirt.

“Just feeling you,” He hummed. “You’re divine.”

His hands glided gently up her skin, feeling her shiver. He slid them around to her back, intending to continue roaming when something stopped him. Her skin was bumpy and uneven under his touch. His hands froze as he realized what he was feeling. Scars. Selene’s back was marred with countless scars. Barely an inch of her skin felt unblemished.

She jolted back, stumbling over her discarded heels. She likely would’ve fallen had Loki not grabbed her hips in time, steadying her.

“It’s alright, you’re alright.” He soothed, hands falling away as she pulled back.

“I’m sorry,” She trembled, putting several feet of distance between them. “I’m sorry, I should have-”

“No, stop.” Loki interrupted, standing. He followed her a few steps forward, making sure she still had her space. “You’ve nothing to apologize for.”

“I should’ve told you.” She said haltingly, back pressed to the wall. “I should’ve stopped you- anything.”

“Did you want me to stop?” He asked quietly.

“I didn’t want you to know about-” She stopped herself, seeming to realize that hadn’t been what he asked. She slid down the wall to sit on the floor, arms crossed over her chest and gripping her shoulders. “No. No, I wanted you to keep going.”

“Then why are you apologizing?” He questioned, feeling slightly helpless.

“I didn’t want you to know about…. This.” One of her hands reached behind her to touch her back. “I wanted- I needed you to still want me.”

“You think this would make me want you less?” He came to kneel in front of her, still a fair distance away. “Dear heart, nothing could make me stop wanting you. I’m no stranger to scars. I’ve plenty of my own.”

It was true. Loki bore the physical marks of his time with Thanos just as much as he still suffered the psychological toll it’d taken on him. The injuries had faded with the assistance of time and his accelerated healing, but some were still very much there.

Selene still looked unsure, so Loki scooted forward. “Can I show you something?”

She nodded, and Loki kneeled directly in front of her. He took her hand carefully, holding it loosely, so she had the chance to pull away if she needed to.

He guided her hand under his shirt, placing her palm lightly over his abdomen. He felt her fingers twitch as they splayed across the splotchy burn that bloomed across it.

“This is the one wound that never fully healed,” He murmured, watching Selene’s expression carefully for signs of discomfort. “It was only one of many like it.”

She didn’t move her hand from Loki’s, but her free hand hesitantly touched the edge of his shirt. She met his gaze, the question in her eyes. Loki nodded, and her hand gently slid along the puckered, malformed skin, feeling the edges of the burn. “Who did this to you?” She breathed.

“Thanos.” Loki answered, throat tightening. “I was lost and drowning in despair when he found me. He tormented me for about a year.”

He remembered those months- flickering, hazy memories where nothing but pain was totally clear. He remembered burning. He remembered his own flesh, bubbling in excruciating agony as fire touched him. He remembered how he’d screamed until his throat was raw and shredded. He remembered how he’d begged for the mercy of death, to be killed and his torture ended. He remembered how he’d even considered doing the deed himself.

“And then you came to New York,” Selene finished, voice cracking.

“And then I came to New York.” He agreed.

He looped an arm around her body. Carefully, slowly, he dipped his fingers under Selene’s shirt. She flinched, but said nothing. He met her gaze, searching for reservations.

“Is this okay?” Loki whispered.

“Yeah,” She whispered back.

He drew his hand up her back, feeling the ridges of the lines criss-crossing across her skin. His heart sank as he felt just how far they went- everywhere. The scars seemed to spiral out from the center of her back like a spiderweb, leaving no inch of her unmarked.

“Oh, my darling.” He cooed sadly, pressing his hand comfortingly to her skin. “Who did this to you?”

Selene hung her head, leaned forward to press against his shoulder. She circled her arms around his waist, voice breaking and tears falling. “My parents.”

Loki sucked in a sharp breath at the admission, fully enveloping himself around her. She began to weep, sobs stifled in his shoulder. He hugged her tightly to him, rocking the two of them back and forth.

“Selene, my Selene, my heart, my moon, my stars.” He whispered every sweet name he could think of, unsure of what else to say. What else could he say? There was nothing that could make this better. Nothing to fully erase the pain- he knew that better than most. All he could do was let her cry.

Selene clung to him, not unlike the first night she’d clued him into her past. Only now, she was more desperate. Her walls seemed to have crumbled around her as she tucked herself into Loki’s body, seeking his warmth, his comfort.

Loki wasn’t sure how long they stayed there, curled up together on the floor. He cradled Selene in his arms until her sobs quieted to shaky breaths. He let her hide her face in his shoulder as he rubbed slow circles on her back.

“Darling?” He breathed, brushing his fingers through her hair. “Would you like to go lay in the bed? Get some sleep?”

She nodded mutely. She let Loki ease her off the carpet and into his arms. She looped an arm around his neck securely as he carried her to the bed, gently sitting her on the edge. He went about turning down the covers and fluffing pillows, tugging her to lay down under the blanket when he’d finished.

It broke his heart how broken Selene looked. Her eyes were glazed over, tears still dripping silently down her face. She lay on her back, staring blankly at the ceiling as Loki settled himself next to her. He rolled onto his side to face her.

A million questions bubbled within him. Why would her parents do such a thing to her? Were they torturing her? Experimenting on her? Was that the reason she had powers? Was that why Raven had powers? Did she have similar scars?

An interrogation was hardly what Selene needed, though. Loki slid closer to her, wrapping an arm around her. He gently pulled her onto her side and into him. She went willingly, twining her legs with his and resting her head and a hand on his chest.

He whispered poetry of bravery and valor. He told her the stories of his youth of the Valkyries, the brave warrior women he’d always admired. He slipped a hand under her shirt again, brushing what he hoped came across as a loving touch over her scars.

Loki forced his tired eyes to stay open until hers had finally fluttered shut, and her breathing steadied. He let himself be carried off to the land of sleep only when he was certain she’d be there to meet him.

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servin-up-surveys · 1 year

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survey #145

New tats in your near future? I'm getting my coverup finished the 26th of this month. After that, I'm sure it'll be awhile.

How about piercings or re-piercings? Probably not, but I'd really like to.

Are there any rooms in your house that you don’t go into every day? Yeah, I don't always go into Mom's room and bathroom. I basically never go in the dining room, but it's not really a unique "room."

Who else do you know who has the same favorite color as you do? Idk off the top of my head, but pink is definitely a popular favorite color.

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? That's what's going on with the one I mentioned in the first question. I want two more coverups, though. One is just in a bad spot and I want to redesign it and put it elsewhere, but the other is another attached to a person I can't stand anymore.

Have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated? Once upon a time, yes; Jason's first real gf was Rachel, who I had a very hard time with in high school because she got extremely jealous of Juan pursuing me over her (she literally threatened me), and then she had stuff to say about me having a thing for her "leftovers" when Jason and I got together. I have no problem with her now, we're actually friends on Facebook that have talked and interact, she's great; people grow and I'm not going to keep her leashed to shit she did in high school.

Do you have any relatives with red hair? No, not that I know of. My maternal grandmother dyed her hair a mild red for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't naturally that color.

What is tomorrow’s weather forecasted to be like? Weather app is saying between 63-80*F with an 80% chance of thunderstorms.

[TW: SUICIDE] Have you ever known anyone who committed suicide? She was an online friend so could never verify, but I pretty fucking confidently believe she did. I know of other people.

What’s some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt? Having a very infected cyst drained, a hemorrhoid, breaking my wrist, healing from a concussion...

What’s your favorite kind of pasta? Normal spaghetti with marinara sauce, and meatballs are a good addition.

Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? Go there.

Have you ever had rabies? No. I remember doing an essay on it in high school though, so I learned a lot about it... not that I remember almost any of it, lol.

Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? Realistically I probably do. My sister Nicole was bitten badly by a dog once, but because he was a domestic pet with vet records I don't remember if she needed one, I don't know the protocol on that.

Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? I feel like while in Ohio I took the teeniest bite of deer jerky, but I don't totally recall, I know I was extremely reluctant. I'm quite interested in trying lamb though, just with its reputation of being delicious.

What is your favorite parody movie? I don't really have one, I think.

What is your least favorite ice cream flavor? I hate strawberry.

Does your car have heated seats? No.

Have you ever been tempted to steal? I think there was one occasion as a kid, but I didn't do it.

Would you rather travel to Ireland or Japan? Ireland.

Does tickling turn you on? NO

If you could go over to someone’s house right now, whose and why? Girt's, just because I wanna see him and hang out, but we will tomorrow.

What is the age gap between you and your parents? My mom is older by one or two years, I forget which.

How many bathrooms does your house have? Is this enough? Two, and yes.

Have you ever video-chatted with someone you met online? No, I've always hated video chatting with people I do know.

Do you collect anything, or have you ever? I've been collecting meerkat stuff since I was young, and I also have a decent chunk of Silent Hill stuff. I'd love to collect Rammstein stuff too, but that's definitely a pricier sort of collection.

When was the last time you used Facebook? Not long ago, I tend to check it a few times a day.

How many siblings does your best friend have? He has one older sister, also named Ashley like mine.

Have you ever dated someone who was emotionally or mentally unstable? Yes.

Be honest: are you clingy? I know I am, at least to a degree. Girt has told me though that he doesn't feel so, instead appreciating that I give him "him" time whenever he wants it (we're the kind of couple that can just straight-up tell each other no to hanging out that day just because we need private time and no one's offended at all), but I still know in my core that I'm a clingy person.

Have you ever had bronchitis? No, but I watched Jason suffer with it and I have NEVER heard coughs like those ever before or since, it was awful.

Have you ever had a reptile for a pet? I've had two lizards and three snakes.

Are you afraid of the dentist? VERY FUCKING MUCH, something that only became a thing in recent times because of neglecting my teeth for so long and now I'm paying for it. Now that PT is over, I want to get my wisdom teeth extraction scheduled (the one on my right has a cavity close to the nerve, so it needs out ASAP), but I am so, so scared, because we can't afford the cost to put me under anesthesia. I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna do it.

Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Only because I was forced to.

Who was the last person you cuddled with? Girt.

How would you feel if your significant other (or possible partner) told you they dislike having sex, but do so with you to make you happy, even though they personally think it’s a chore? I have no idea how I would react to this, honestly.

Your boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t around but their phone is. Do you look through it? No, that would indicate some core problems in our relationship. I trust him.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I'm pretty confident I will be, Girt and I are doing great.

Have you ever liked anyone that was in a relationship with someone else? Yeah. That was the case with my first real crush, and then with Jason after we split and he started dating someone else.

Do people ever compliment your eyes? Sometimes, mostly on pictures.

Have any of your exes ever given you roses? Jason and Tyler.

Do you think your last ex ever thinks about you? Not in a positive way.

Would you rather have salad or french fries for a side dish? Fries.

Which one of your relationships was the shortest? Juan, we dated for less than 24 hours lol, so he barely even counts.

Which was the longest? Jason, three and a half years.

Have any of your exes told you they regret breaking up with you? No.

Would you feel hurt if your last ex is in a relationship? Not at all.

Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? Very unlikely.

Do you like BBQ sauce? No, I actually hate it a lot.

What do you like to do when you’re home alone? I don't do much differently, honestly. I'll sometimes unplug my earplugs and listen to whatever without them, but that's it.

Should the guy always pay for the date? Absolutely not, I'm personally in favor of whoever planned it paying, but I also think taking turns is fair.

What kind of music calms you down? Generally my favorite songs, because they have fuller attention from me so I'm better distracted, and I also often resort to the Shadow of the Colossus or Silent Hill games soundtracks for this.

Do you know anyone who has autism? My niece does, a friend's daughter does, I'm sure a couple more, and I'm fucking FINALLY being evaluated for it myself soon.

What is your favorite way to eat eggs? I'll only eat them scrambled and very preferably with cheese, or as lil bits in fried rice.

Do you like Frozen? I've genuinely never gotten the appeal of it. The icy scenery and magic effects are cool, but that's the end of it for me.

Who is one of your heroes? My mom.

Do you enjoy hot chocolate? I do, but not when it's made with water, it's gotta be milk.

Do you use Instagram often? I browse it daily, but I don't post a lot.

If you got a kitten, what would you name it? It would depend on their gender and appearance.

Do you have a Pinterest account? Yes, it's full of photography inspo, hairdos and colors, tattoo inspo, and primarily Rammstein pictures now, lol.

Do you prefer a quiet or noisy environment? Quiet, excessive noise really stresses me out.

What is one question you don’t like being asked? What my job situation is.

Who is someone you know who is talkative? My nephew, haha. He goes a thousand miles an hour from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep.

When was the last time you saw one of your uncles? When my grandma was on her very last leg and my Uncle Rob was driving her from Florida to New York; they stopped at a hotel for us to meet up. Now this uncle is the scum of the fucking earth that my family - even his own siblings - don't associate with anymore. His ass is going to end up in jail.

Do you know anyone who plays the violin? No, but that'd be dope.

Do your parents enjoy any of the things that you enjoy? Do you bond over these things? Both my parents (especially my mom) love metal and rock music, and my mother also enjoys writing, even though she doesn't do it a lot, though I wish she would! She wrote a poem semi-recently that she got me to look at and critique and it made me SO happy to see her creating, because she really does enjoy that, especially as crafts and crocheting. My dad likes video games, as do I.

Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? Ozzkat, which I use for a lot of places.

Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? OH, FOR SURE. This is NOT a rare occurrence.

If someone told you that we live in a society that hates women, how would you respond? I would wholeheartedly agree with you. I know a lot of it is done while completely unaware, like plenty don't think they hate women, but their actions speak otherwise, and I'm trusting actions as the true show of morals and values.

Can you remember the last thing you thought and subsequently thought, “wow, I really shouldn’t be thinking that”? I can't remember the last, but it absolutely happens seeing as I often have intrusive thoughts.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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ahmumbles · 2 years

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Dear Tom,

I don’t know how to start this... so I’ll delve straight into it.

I’m genuinely sorry the timing has to be now, but I have tried my best to be honest with myself, and therefore with you, since we met again in Barcelona in February 2022. You know much of me by now, and I’m sure my indecisiveness and tendency to overcomplicate things hasn’t helped in drawing a conclusion. But now that I’m faced with a deadline, a decision must be made. A personal, honest choice that I’m sure will, in hindsight, be beneficial for you and me, as life always is, but at the moment, it feels surreal and deafening.

At this moment of my life, I cannot commit to you coming to Vietnam which means we cannot continue our relationship. We’ve gotten to enjoy one another through sparkly-lenses of grand adventures, traveling Europe together, and becoming so comfortable and one together. However, this is not the reality any more and this chapter is coming to an end. A new chapter is about to begin for both of us and I have to be honest with myself. This is a chapter that has dragged on in me since Ferran, and part of the reason we had to separate, and that was hard enough to do with someone that I loved at the time. And now, for me to have gone through an ‘expiration date’ with him then, to only not have the courage within myself to end it with you now, would be something I feel I would gravely regret. I made all these plans and steps and efforts to begin this journey. And I really need to do it myself. I don’t have the capacity to be responsible for another person. And if we were to ‘try it out’, it’d only end in one of us sacrificing our dreams (which I know I will not) or for it to be dragged out and end there (which neither of us want you to go all the way to Vietnam only for it to end when perhaps I knew earlier on).

At this moment, I feel numb. I don’t feel terribly sad, and I think I am blocking my emotions, as always. I can’t wrap my head around the year and a half we had together and all that we went through. We spent every weekend together since we first met, we went on trips, we took so much ket and drunkenly walked around Barcelona, we had so much fun. We survived the six months of long distance and had something to look forward to. Maybe it was an experimental period. To see if we could look past our individual desires and if it’s worth sacrificing. Is it for you? Would you sacrifice your future for me?

But even if you would, would I? Do I even want you to?

I am, as all humans, innately selfish. And I’ve done a shady thing during our time together. And that means something. If I look back now, the anxiousness of telling you I want to be ‘free’ in London, the anxiousness after you told me you’re thinking of coming to Vietnam, the anxiousness every time I even think about a different boy, as if I’m committing the dirtiest sin, has led me to believe that I cannot commit to you. I’m not mentally nor emotionally ready for that yet. I don’t know what to say besides I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. This is never easy for anyone, and no one knows what you’re feeling besides yourself. Even if it makes you feel so sick and so fucking distraught. No one will know that pain, except for yourself.

I don’t know what will happen in the future. I don’t know if we will ever meet again. I don’t know if you will hate me, or if we will just become strangers with fading tattoos that once shared sweet memories. I don’t know if you will ever think of me positively again.

But I need this. And I ultimately want this. Even if I don’t think I do, and even if I suppress it, I do. I’m so sorry. I will miss you. So so much.

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pinknatural · 3 years

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CASTIEL, YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN, Michael says. YOU WILL JOIN THE ELITE GARRISON--LED BY ME, OF COURSE, TO RETRIEVE MY SWORD FROM HELL.

YES, MICHAEL, Castiel says.

“Are you sure you wanna go by yourself?” Sam asks.

“It’s gotta be me,” Dean says. He looks between Sam and Eileen and Jack and Claire and Kaia, tries to memorize their faces. He smiles weakly. “I’ll be back soon.”

He turns around. Michael lifts his hands. Dean takes a moment to commit his youngest brother’s face to memory. “Ready?”

“Yes,” Dean says, and Michael opens the portal.

Hell is loud. Screams from the tortured souls fill the air. Cries from demons fill the sound, and overtop are wails from the Cage. Castiel shudders at the sound of angelic screeching, grating and unexpected against his grace. He grips his blade tighter and dives between a layer of racks.

He has his orders--fight the demons. Find the Righteous Man. Call Michael, allow him to retrieve his sword. Losses of angelic lives are unfortunate but perhaps necessary. Castiel recites them like a mantra, and a swarm of demons leaps for him. He flares his wings wide and bares his teeth and turns the full force of his hundreds of eyes onto them, and he fights.

The Empty is quiet. Eerily so. Every footstep Dean takes is muffled. He cannot hear himself breathe, cannot hear his heart, beating against his chest. For a moment, he’s certain he is dead, but when he puts his palm over his breast, he feels it, a steady tattoo against his ribcage. Dean tightens his grip on his angel blade, and he keeps walking forward.

In the distance, Castiel spots Sarah fall. He dives sideways. He has always been smaller than his siblings, has always been a bit faster, and he slips between the cracks of the first circle, and descends deeper into the pit.

OOHH...LITTLE HUMAN, a voice, slimy and awful, says, curling around him like the worst kind of hug. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

“I’m here for my angel,” Dean says. He stares up at nothing, defiant. He’s glad he can hear his own voice.

THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE WRONG, the voice says. HE IS MY ANGEL NOW. SLEEPING BESIDE HIS BROTHERS AND SISTERS, TUCKED IN A LINE, DREAMING OF HIS GREAT REGRETS. AND OH, LITTLE HUMAN, HE HAS MANY.

“I ain’t leaving without him,” Dean says, clenching his fist. His shoulder feels like it’s burning.

LITTLE HUMAN, YOU ARE NOT MEANT FOR THE EMPTY. NOT WHILE THAT HEART BEAT-BEAT-BEATS INSIDE YOUR CHEST. LEAVE. YOU MAY RETURN WHEN YOU DIE. YOU WERE PROMISED TO ME, YOU KNOW.

“You don’t want me stuck inside you forever,” Dean says, then he winces because okay, that was kinda dirty. “I’m kind of an expert at being annoying. I’m also an expert in tearing up afterlives.”

OH, HUMAN. YOU POOR THING. HOW EMBARRASSING. YOUR DESIRE FOR THE ANGEL LEAKS OUT OF YOUR PORES.

Dean snarls. “Who are your greatest prizes?” he asks. “Which angels and demons do you have the most pride in keeping here? And who handed them directly to you?”

Castiel isn’t sure where Michael is. He isn’t even sure where he is. He assumes the Righteous Man is in the seventh circle, but he’s been through so many, been pushed back and pulled forward, and he could be anywhere.

Angels do not get tired. Castiel thinks that if he could be, he would be. He feels another of his brothers die. A hoard of demons is attempting to sneak up on him. Castiel whirls around, flaring his wings, and he smites them all.

There are millions of angels. There are billions of demons.

This will take a while.

HERE’S THE DEAL, LITTLE HUMAN. IF YOU FIND YOUR ANGEL, YOU CAN DRAG HIM OUT OF HERE AND NEITHER OF YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO RETURN. BUT IF YOU CHOOSE THE WRONG ANGEL, I WILL TAKE YOU TODAY AND NEVER LET YOU GO. BUT DON’T WORRY--I’LL MAKE SURE TO PUT YOUR SLEEPING RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR BELOVED ANGEL.

“Deal,” Dean says, because of course he knows who Cas is, of course he does, but all of a sudden the darkness of the Empty is lit up in a brilliant white light, and thousands and thousands of--shapes--are before him. Angels, Dean realizes. In their true form. And he has to find one specific one, that he’s never seen before.

This will take a while.

Castiel sneaks into a new circle. He will be found, sooner or later, but for now he is undetected. He inspects his surroundings--blood and fire and souls writhing on their racks. His grace brightens for a moment before he tampers it back down. This is the seventh circle! The Righteous Man could be any of these souls. Castiel creeps forward.

Rows and rows of angels, floating before him, all blue-white with grace, all dormant and asleep. They are hard to look at, too bright and too confusing, constantly twisting and shifting. They look like something outta Escher, or a Mobius strip, or maybe just a tangled mass of wires. Four or five animal heads or no heads at all, thousands of eyes or maybe just a mass of wings, tucked over and over each other. Dean can only really look at each one with a glance. And he’s sure none of them are his.

The Righteous Man’s soul burns bright, brighter than any human soul Castiel has ever seen. He is doing the torturing, not being tortured, and the cheeks of the humanoid shape the golden soul has taken shine with tears. He is in agony, and he loves what he does as he carves into the soul before him.

There’s a smaller angel than the others. When Dean looks at it, it looks kind of like a conch shell, curling and swirling, and kind of like a bird, and kind of like a knot, twisted and tangled. It is small, but it is bright. Blue-white with grace but braided with other colors too, red and orange and yellow and green and purple and pink and colors Dean’s never even heard of. His left shoulder throbs painfully, and Dean stares at the angel with awe.

Castiel knows he is supposed to call Michael. He knows Michael is supposed to lift his sword from perdition. But--

the Righteous Man is so beautiful. So brilliant. Castiel cannot help it.

Dean’s shoulder is painful and the angel shifts and changes and Dean has to be 100% sure, but this angel is the most beautiful thing Dean’s ever seen. He can’t tear his gaze away.

Castiel reaches out.

Dean reaches out.

When Dean wakes up, he is alone.

When Cas wakes up, he has only time to inhale before he’s tucked into Dean’s arms, face pressed into his neck, held tighter, and tigher, and Cas reaches his arms around Dean and digs his fingers into his jacket and inhales Dean’s scent and breathes, breathes.

#why did i put dante references in this........? no clue byee #castiel #dean winchester #deancas #happy lazarus rising dayyyy #writingtag

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yslkook · 3 years

Text

TiO (8)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook is a man of mystery and you take him on a date.

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, a shitty relationship, unprotected sex (pls use protection, these two are being foolish) , some choking, grinding, making out, oral

word count: ~6.3k

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts. a big thank you to @cutechim for creating the texts for me lmao<33

***

Jungkook remains tight-lipped about what it was he had done over the weekend, when he had gone with Jin and Mina to a tattoo convention a few hours away. They had ended up staying the night there, and while Jungkook wanted to ask you to come with him, he wondered if it was too soon to ask. After all, you were both still enjoying each other’s company at your own sweet pace.

Eventually his little secret gets put on the back burner for the rest of the week. You were supposed to get bubble tea with him on Tuesday, but unfortunately a last minute work issue with your client and your application came up. You’d ended up working late, your eyes screaming in fatigue and went straight to bed that evening. He had understood, of course he did.

On Thursday, he was supposed to grab lunch with you at a cafe that he thought you might like, but this time it was him who had a conflict. His older sister had showed up to the tattoo parlor without any prior notice. She does this every so often, when things aren’t going well with her on again, off again shitty “boyfriend”.

Jungkook had sighed, cancelling on lunch with you to spend time with Jooyeon and comfort her with fried chicken and ice cream. You had sent an understanding thumbs up and a promise to call him later and end up having lunch with your work wife, Kira instead.

Kira who doesn’t fail to point out the glow in your cheeks and your general aura, even though it’s been nearly a week and a half since you saw Jungkook last. You roll your eyes and ignore the flames in your cheeks (and her laughter), and change the subject to your work projects. She tells you about some of the coding issues and compliance issues she’s been having with her software, and you tell her about the hours you’ve been pouring into your application for your client.

It doesn’t bother you that Jungkook hadn’t asked if you wanted to meet his sister. After all, he’d told you bits and pieces about her and her relationship. And in the last few weeks, your relationship has blossomed so beautifully. There was no reason to rush, you think. You’ll meet her hopefully under better circumstances for her.

Jungkook spends most of the evening with Jooyeon, letting her cry herself to sleep in his bed. His sister hardly ever cries like this, with sobs full of pain and hurt because of another man. But it’s been happening too much lately, too many fights and too much of Joo losing herself. It makes Jungkook see red more often than not. He knows what you’d say- that she needs him more than anything else and to not be so impulsive.

He makes sure Joo eats a warm meal before she falls asleep and he shoots you a text:

Jungkook: baby

You: hi

You: everything ok?

Jungkook: no, joo’s bf is a fkin asshole

Jungkook: she’s sleeping

Jungkook: miss u

You: im sorry baby :( can i call you?

He jumps at the chance, the sound of your voice and sight of your pretty face on video call instantly calming him. Jungkook is sure to wear a beanie to hide his surprise for you (but you don’t question it. After all, you’ve seen him in beanies plenty of times before and it’s dim in the apartment.) He moves to the couch, asking softly for you to tell him about your day. You recount every single detail from memory, shifting under your covers to tell him about how you had nearly stumbled down the stairs in front of your manager’s manager because you had missed a step.

It pulls a soft laugh from him.

“Jungkook,” You say quietly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Jungkook sighs, “She’s just… Byung-woo and her have had this on and off thing for years now. He won’t commit to her and she just refuses to see him for what he is. Like, when it’s good, it’s really good. But when it’s bad, it’s awful. I wish she’d fucking see it for herself. I don’t know what to do anymore, baby.”

“Oh, baby,” You murmur, wishing you could hug him, “All you can do is be there for her but be honest with her. She’ll come around soon, hopefully. It’s hard to see past a shitty person sometimes, when all you want is for them to love you.”

“I hope so, too,” Jungkook says, “She’d love you, you know?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“Don’t get a big head,” Jungkook chuckles, “Maybe you can meet her someday. Under better circumstances, I mean.”

“Really? You want me to meet your older sister?” You ask softly, feeling a little flustered, “That’s serious.”

“I told you, baby,” Jungkook soothes, “I’m serious about you.”

“Yeah. Seriously crazy about me,” You giggle to yourself. You know if Jungkook was with you, he’d flick your forehead.

“It’s true,” He murmurs, “Maybe I can see you this weekend?”

“Yeah, you still have to show me what you did over the weekend! Take care of Jooyeon first,” You reply, “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll drop stuff off, just tell me.”

“I will,” Jungkook promises, “Sleep well, I miss you.”

“Sleep well. I miss you.”

***

Jooyeon ends up leaving on Saturday morning after a lecture from Jungkook and with determined resolve in her eyes. You jump at the chance to take him out tonight, knowing how stressed he’s been the last few days.

You: be ready at 6:30 tn, im taking u out. and dress slutty

Jungkook doesn’t know how to interpret your text when he reads it. He considers asking Mina and Mei what this means, but ultimately leaves it alone. Replying to your message with a quick thumbs up, he busies himself with getting ready to see you (and surprising you, finally after a full week of wanting to show you what he had done.)

Once you parallel park your car (which takes far too long than you’d like to admit), you grab the small bouquet of purple roses that you had gotten for Jungkook and text him saying that you’ll be up in a few minutes.

Taehyung had caught you struggling to parallel park, and had told Jungkook with a snicker. Which earned him a punch to the arm.

There wasn’t a particular reason that you had chosen to get purple roses for him, other than the fact that they reminded you of him. You hope he likes them.

Jungkook hears a soft knock at the door, and can already envision you behind it. He hopes you like his surprise, the one he’s been teasing you for a week about. You had given no hints of what you would be wearing- you had only sent him one selfie that didn’t give much of a hint into your outfit. He has no doubt that you’ll look gorgeous, but still.

Maybe Jungkook’s nerves shouldn’t be this intense, but he can’t help it. He swings the front door open, only to be greeted by you swaying on your feet with your hands held behind your back. His heart throbs when you pull your hands apart and present him with a beautiful bouquet of purple roses.

How ironic.

“Hello,” You say with a small smile, suddenly feeling a little shy and gasping when your eyes land on his hair, “Wow. You weren’t kidding…”

His hair is tied back into a ponytail, but it’s unmistakably elegant and so violet. Two neat pieces of his newly dyed hair fall into his face effortlessly, but then your gaze reaches the piercing on his left eyebrow. Your lips remain parted in surprise and without thinking, you reach up to touch his hair. It’s still soft, as it always is.

“Come in, baby,” Jungkook says, taking the roses from you, “You must really like me, huh? Got me flowers and everything?”

“Shut up,” You mutter, cheeks heating up, “Don’t get a big head.”

Jungkook only grins wolfishly at you and winks at you, eyes unashamedly glued to your ass. You roll your eyes, and swat his shoulder as you watch him put the rose in a vase and place it in the center of the dining table.

This isn’t the first time you’ve been in his shared apartment (that he lives with Taehyung and Jimin in) but you somehow feel shy in his presence again, as if it was the first time. The first time you had been here with him had been the first time you had spent the night at his apartment several weeks ago, after a night out with your friends.

You let your gaze wander, curious eyes settling on the subtle matching of the furniture and the cleanliness of the apartment. There’s not a stray speck of dust in sight, but maybe you’re distracting yourself from addressing the pretty purple of his hair. Your mouth is dry, and you’re probably drooling a little. You wonder if Jungkook prepared for this, the same way you did (in that you had washed your car, cleaned every inch of it and gotten a new car freshener).

A faint scent of fresh laundry and lavender sits in the spaces of his home. It calms you and gives you the boost to turn your eyes to him.

“Thanks for the roses, baby,” Jungkook says, giving you a smile and starry eyes. He pulls you into his arms, your back against the counter. “Surprise. Do you like it?”

“Uh,” You mumble, brain deciding to short-circuit with the way he looks at you. His smile turns into a smirk, deciding to further render you speechless by pressing himself closer to you and cradling your neck. He’s careful not to touch your face. He doesn’t want to mess your makeup up terribly, at least not yet.

“I know you like my hair. Your face says it all, baby,” Jungkook continues and ducks his head for a quick kiss, “You’re pretty.” He does quite like this dress, light blue and dotted in small flowers with thin straps. His eyes are instantly drawn to the drawstring at the center of your chest and he quells the urge to pull at it.

Jungkook’s mouth waters when he sees the side split of the dress but you want more from him immediately, but he pulls away to your chagrin. Even with the simple kiss, the burgundy color of your lipstick stains his plump bottom lip.

You shiver. It appears that he tried to take your words via text to heart- to dress slutty. He’s wearing a loose animal print button up, with the top three buttons undone. It gives you a delectable view of his pecs, his collarbones and a hint of the tattoo on his right side. As if you weren’t already weak in the knees for him as it was, he wears a black coat and tight, leather pants.

Jungkook pulls it off, like he pulls everything off and the purple hair blends seamlessly with his look. Tonight, he’d opted for two silver hoops in each ear and a thin silver necklace to match.

Your knees are weak, they’ve been weak since you had seen him in this offensive outfit and his hair, his new piercing that was clearly an attack on your entire existence.

The purple hair. The piercing. He’ll be the death of you tonight, you know it. Your legs are wobbly, panties already probably a little wet just from seeing him and from a few of his kisses. But you can’t help it. Without thinking, you press your lips to his, drawing your tongue into his mouth eagerly. You are so hungry, so eager to devour him and drink up anything that he offers you. Jungkook tugs you closer to him lightly by your waist but-

“Seriously? Right in front of my dinner?” Comes an amused voice from behind Jungkook and you nearly screech at the familiar sound of Jimin’s voice.

“I- I didn’t-You-” You stammer, feeling your face heat up to a degree that it’s definitely never heated up to before. You hide behind Jungkook to fix your surely wrecked lipstick. You’re certain his own lips are probably comically smudged with your lipstick as well. “Sorry Jimin, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know, we’ll leave-”

Jungkook only rolls his eyes at Jimin’s wide smirk and knowing eyes. He hears you scolding Jungkook for not telling him that anyone was home, to which he promptly responds “well, you didn’t ask!”

Despite the very natural and easy flow of conversation between you and Jungkook in your car, you still feel overheated and jumpy, your fingers incessantly tapping on the steering wheel. It’s not Jungkook, it’s you and your own nerves. It’s not the first time you’ve gone out to dinner with him and it’s certainly not the first time you’ve had him in your car. If Jungkook notices, he says nothing.

“Where are we going, baby?” Jungkook asks, looking at you. You don’t meet his eyes, choosing instead to focus on the road despite being at a red light.

“Umm, that place you mentioned the other day. The one we talked about trying together,” You say softly. Jungkook can only wonder why you’re a little quiet, but he thinks he knows. You slip into your head so easily and he doesn’t mind gently tugging you out of your thought cloud and into reality with him.

“Can you help me park,” You mumble sheepishly, “I get nervous parking in such tight spaces.”

“Yeah, pull over here before it’s impossible to,” Jungkook murmurs. You nod and do so, hopping out of the driver’s seat to switch places with him. But before you can get in the passenger’s seat, Jungkook grips your wrist loosely. You look at him curiously, with wide eyes and he drops a kiss to your lips, swallowing your surprise.

“You’re so pretty,” Jungkook murmurs, “So fucking pretty, baby. I love this dress on you.” You preen at his praise, leaning forward for another kiss with a shy smile. He subtly squeezes your left tit before letting his hand travel downward.

“You look really good, Jungkook,” You murmur before he kisses you, “I-I really, really like it. A lot.”

He gently caresses your thigh from under your dress, the heat of his hand shooting straight up your core. Jungkook slips his tongue into your mouth quickly, coaxing your endearing nervousness away. As if you both aren’t pulled over to the side of the street where cars are passing you by (and surely wondering why you both were making out like this in public).

“Are we gonna be those people who have a roadside quickie,” You laugh, gently pushing his shoulder when you pull away.

“Roadside quickie? Get your mind out of the gutter,” Jungkook says but his lips twist into a wicked smirk, “But hey, if you wanna give me road head, I’m not going to complain about it-”

“Ha, you would be so lucky,” You scoff, feeling your nerves beginning to ease out of you, “C’mon, our reservation is soon. And then we can talk about road head.”

Dinner goes perfectly and after a glass of wine you feel those inexplicable nerves wash away. What did you have to be nervous for anyway? It was Jungkook- Jungkook who you’ve known for years. Your friend before any of this. He asks you about work, how your application is going-

“Your client sounds pretty demanding,” Jungkook muses, “You keeping up with it okay?”

“Yeah, but I’m not even an application engineer so I’m just learning as I go. My true roots are data and data science but I get to see all of it. Which is cool. But also time consuming, like the other evening, I had to read up on the compliance regulations. But my favorite thing is creating modeling and programs for this app, it’s really cool because it’s healthcare specific. So I’m learning about that sector as well, it’s mostly python but we’ve been doing testing with different healthcare providers in the area and they’re all responding really well to it-” You’re rambling, you know it, but your passion for your career knows no bounds and Jungkook makes no move to stop you. He only smiles at you, eyes crinkling and nose scrunching, gesturing for you to continue.

It’s funny. Not even a few months ago, you would have cut yourself off from your own rambling. In an attempt to convince yourself that the other person didn’t need to hear about it. Maybe that was Sora’s subconscious influence on you. Today, you don’t think twice about it, glowing and shimmering under the dim, blue lights of the restaurant as you tell Jungkook more about your job.

He makes your heart race and he’s sitting right in front of you. Your chin is in your hands as you listen to the pretty words slipping out of his lips. He’s so dreamy, and you struggle to not let your gaze stray from his eyes and linger on his exposed tattoos and chest. You don’t even know where to look, deciding to settle on the way his newly purple locks fall to his forehead just perfectly.

“What do you wanna eat for dessert?” You murmur, looking at the menu and cautiously allowing your foot to brush against his.

In hindsight, you should’ve seen it coming-

“You,” Jungkook says easily, as if he’s talking about the weather.

“Corny,” You roll your eyes, but nudge his foot again. You end up deciding on sharing a slice of decadent, chocolate mousse cake. Which Jungkook ends up finishing off when you satisfy your sweet tooth after a few big bites.

He leans over without a second thought, thumbing away stray cream from the corner of your mouth. Your tongue darts out to lick the tip of his thumb and he looks at you with wide eyes before grinning roguishly.

“Wanna get outta here, baby?”

“Should I take you home, Jungkook?” You ask, finding the courage somewhere in the remnants of the glass of wine currently evaporating from your system to take his hand in your lap once you’re both settled in your car.

“Do you want to take me home?” Jungkook asks with a quirked eyebrow.

“I have some wine I think you’d like at my place. I just got it,” You say a little breathlessly, “And I have to inspect something, I might need your help.” Jungkook laughs, a little derisively and you pout.

“You don’t have to bribe me with wine, baby. You know I would’ve been down regardless,” Jungkook says, squeezing your hand, “What do you need to inspect? Do you have a leak or something?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a leak alright,” You say under your breath, thinking about the growing wetness in your panties, “My man just showed up here with purple hair and an eyebrow piercing, looking like a damn model after one whole week. I have to inspect him.”

“Oh, is that so? In that case, I would love to be your lab rat. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen the inside of your bedroom before-”

“Who said you’d get that far?”

“I already did, baby. Did you forget?” Jungkook’s smirk widens, eyes sparkling with mischief. He gently cups your face, thumb on your chin and hovers just over your lips. You think he’s about to kiss you, so you close your eyes in anticipation of his lips on yours.

But it never comes. Instead, his breath fans over your cheeks and he lets out a low laugh. “I sure didn’t forget, and I know you didn’t either.”

You roll your eyes and swat his hand away, ignoring (but letting out a smile) when he chuckles. You decide to hold his hand for as much of the drive back home you can.

Jungkook’s hands are on your hips even as you’re fumbling with the keys to your front door. He’s a distraction, his warm heat plastered against your back and the simple act of opening your damn door feels like too much of a chore. When Jungkook’s lips glaze over the back of your neck, his fingers roaming your waist, it’s difficult for you to focus.

So Jungkook scoffs and turns the key for you. “Can’t open the door, baby?” Jungkook taunts and you level him with a glare.

“It’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself in front of my door!”

“You like it,” Jungkook says, shutting the door behind him and hugging you as you try to walk away from him to wash up. You escape his grip with a giggle and lock yourself in your bathroom, while Jungkook waits with a disgruntled pout.

When you come out, you head into the kitchen to pour out two glasses of wine and bring some snacks out. You’re not particularly hungry, though you wouldn’t mind eating and you’re sure Jungkook wouldn’t mind either.

Your train of thought is of course interrupted by the man himself and he wraps his arms around you from behind, pushing you into the counter. One might say that Jungkook is being clingy, but you know this is how he shows his affections. Through physical touch more than anything else. And you quite like it, you like the reassurance of his body close to yours. It’s what you’ve always wanted and never known that you needed.

“Missed you,” He breathes into your hair. Even if he’s been with you for the last few hours… You understand him. It feels like you’re both making up for lost time. For time that you could’ve spent together, rather than apart.

“Me too,” You murmur, “Can you take this to the couch, honey? I’ll bring the glasses and the wine.”

Jungkook hums and kisses your temple, squeezing your ass before heeding your soft demand. You sit next to him, thighs touching, and pour out a glass for both of you to enjoy. You lean against his shoulder, wrapping an arm around his bicep and turn the television on. But neither of you are really paying attention.

“Hey,” Jungkook murmurs, “I had a good time tonight, baby.”

“Don’t I know it,” You say smugly, “It’s not everyday a pretty girl takes you out for din-” He cuts your words off by pulling you into his lap, somehow not spilling even a single drop of wine in the movement. You would’ve killed him if even a hint of a wine stain appeared on your velvet couch.

You press your hand into his shoulder, the hint of his tattoo and the glint of his piercing catching your eye. You swirl your glass of wine with your other hand. “What a precarious position to be in,” You say dryly, even grinding your hips into his playfully. He gives you a look, and stills your movements with one hand on your waist. Jungkook sets his glass on the coffee table behind you and cradles your neck, pulling you down for a sharp kiss. It’s almost desperate and needy, nothing like his kisses from before.

You slip your tongue into his honeyed mouth, tasting seeds of his desperation with your tongue. But then, you remember your wine glass and pull away from his lips with a lewd smack to reach behind you and place it on the coffee table as well.

“So pretty,” Jungkook moans, pushing the straps of your dress to the side and dotting your shoulders in wine-stained kisses, “Pretty girl, my pretty baby-”

You tilt his cheek towards you for a kiss, whining into his mouth at his praise. It shoots down your spine in a delicious hum and his hands roaming the expanse of your back makes you feel warm and powerful.

The way your hips move in time with his, the way you fit into the crevices of his thighs and his chest- he just wants to give you everything. He wants to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Jungkook will give you everything, if you let him.

“And what about you?” You rasp with swollen lips and wild eyes when you finally pull away. You press your fingers into the exposed, inky part of his chest, where his shirt is unbuttoned for your eyes. “You look so fucking good all the time, but-but I told you to dress slutty and you did this for me, huh? You did this for me, bunny?”

Jungkook’s cock jumps in his tight pants and his throat goes dry. Your eyes are devious, filled with mischief and sin and he gives himself to you fully and wholly.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods eagerly, “Yeah, I wanted to look nice for you, baby.”

“A-and your hair,” You mumble, feeling a little lovesick, “I love it, I love it, I love it-I just wanna- wanna make you feel good. Can I do that, bunny? Make you feel good?”

Jungkook nods with wide, doe eyes, wondering how the tables were turned so quickly.

“Take me to my bedroom,” You demand softly. The glasses of wine and snacks on the tray are left forgotten as Jungkook easily scoops you up in his arms. Even with your lips soft and slow against his neck, he somehow makes it to your bed.

It’s definitely not the first time you’ve had Jungkook in your bed (or that you’ve been in his bed). It’s not the first time you’ve peeled his shirt off meticulously and licked your way down his chest, to unbutton his tight pants. It’s not the first time he’s seen you on your knees on your bed (to alleviate the strain on your knees if you were on the floor).

By now, the shock of your impatience has worn off. Jungkook frequently reminds you to slow down, that you both have nowhere to be except with each other.

It looks like his pants are glued to his legs, and while you can appreciate the visual, you want to appreciate the real thing. You groan in frustration and Jungkook does the work for you, pushing the offending fabric away and breathing a sigh of relief. You crawl closer to him, nails featherlight against his taut thighs.

He’s golden, his body taut and spilling with swirls of color in the divots of his muscles. Your mouth waters.

But Jungkook moves your hands away when you start inching closer, wanting to palm his cock. He joins you on the bed, pushing your back to the bed and hiking the skirt of your dress up to your hips. His hands are tight and warm and welcome on your hips, a flare of desire shooting down your spine and straight to your pussy. You buck your hips up towards him with a pout but he only squeezes.

“What did I tell you,” Jungkook murmurs, swatting your thigh lightly.

“You’ll have to remind me,” You breathe.

“Told you to slow down, baby,” Jungkook says, letting his fingers trail up your thighs and slip under your panties. His hand is warm in contrast to the rings on his fingers. They do little to cool your skin, though. “Impatient girl.”

“You say that like a bad thing-”

“And you talk so fucking much,” Jungkook drawls, hovering over you and dropping his weight on top of you, nudging your cheek to kiss you. You reach upwards to thread your hands through his hair but he’s quick, so much quicker than you. Jungkook pins your wrists with just one hand, and the mere action, the mere display of strength has you sighing and your pussy fluttering.

“Lift your hips,” Jungkook says thickly, and you do so immediately. It’s easy for him to pull your black lace panties off to the side. But before he does so he gives you a small smile of approval, knowing that you wore them specifically for him to see.

“I really do love this dress, baby,” He says, “Makes your tits and your ass look amazing.”

“Take it off, then. And see the goods up close,” You say, wiggling against his grip.

“I will,” Jungkook says lazily, “Don’t you worry your pretty head about it.” Without a single warning, he lifts you up easily into his lap. Your bare pussy brushes against his bare cock deliciously, your hips moving of their own accord. He stills you again, and carefully unzips your dress and pulls it off of you. His fingers on you are soft but firm, leaving your head spinning and hazy.

You haven’t even had his cock yet, and you’re about ready to combust. Jungkook pushes you on the bed, your tits bouncing with the force of your back hitting the mattress and hovers over you. You pull at his hair a little impatiently and he groans, the sound reverberating across the walls only to ring in your head. You want to hear it again, and again and again.

“Jungkook,” You whine, “Please, bunny, do something. Look at me, look at my pussy, come clean me up-”

“So needy,” Jungkook murmurs and ignores you in favor of kissing your tits, rubbing your nipples with his fingers, “‘M needy for you too, baby.”

“You’re so hard, so big,” You babble, “Please, want your cock, baby.”

Impatient. Jungkook kisses your chest, your belly, your hips and makes you cum on his tongue twice (while you tear up and cry a little bit, gripping his purple locks fiercely and holding onto his shoulder) before letting you stroke his cock. You’re about to push him on his back to blow him with determined eyes, but he stops you.

It appears he’s impatient too, and he wants to see you cream his cock before cumming all over your tits (which has become his favorite place to).

“Jungkook,” You breathe sharply, “There, baby, right there-” You cut yourself off with a groan, stilling your hips and pushing his face into your chest. Jungkook’s groans are muffled against your tits, but you feel the wetness of his lips and the warmth of his tongue over your nipples.

“Shit,” You mumble, “Feels so good-”

“So pretty, baby,” Jungkook coos, pulling away from your tits to look up at you with lust in his eyes, “I’m yours, all yours-”

You groan, bouncing on his cock even harder as a flare of possessiveness flashes across your belly. “Move back,” You say softly, “Lay down. I’m gonna ride you so good, baby.”

Jungkook barely has a chance to catch his breath before your nails are on his chest, trying to hold yourself steady as you push yourself down onto his cock, pulling a deep moan of your name from his lips. His hands are tight on your hips, watching with wide eyes- he doesn’t know where to look, what to do.

He squeezes when one of your hands drifts over his and rests on top of his hand.

“I’m yours, I’m yours,” Jungkook mumbles, “Whatever you want baby, I’m yours-”

“You talk so much,” You say hoarsely, with a wicked smile, “It’s cute.” Your free hand floats upward, resting loosely at the base of his neck. His chain is cold against his heated skin but all he can focus on is the glide of your hand over his neck.

His cock twitches inside you and your smile widens. “Is this okay?” You whisper, “This okay, bunny?”

“Harder,” Jungkook groans, “Fuck, harder, baby.”

“Like this?” You ask innocently, closing your hand around the sensitive spots of his neck. His pretty eyes flutter as he nods, a quiet moan slipping out into the air.

“You’re pretty like this,” You say softly, “Shit, you’re pretty like this…”

He lets out a choked laugh at that. You lean forward, pressing your lips to his hastily. Jungkook thrusts upward, hips meeting your ass but your hand doesn’t leave his neck. Not just yet. You breathe into his mouth, allowing him to swallow your soft whimpers.

You wet your lips with a loud smack and cradle his cheek gently. Jungkook is mesmerized by the heat in your eyes, smoldering and burning through his skin. You let your fingers glide over your clit, gathering wetness and before Jungkook can ask what you're doing-

“Open,” You mumble hoarsely, “Open, bunny.”

Pushing a finger past his chapped lips, you gasp at the sight of him below you with your fingers in his mouth.

You could cum just from watching him. His tongue swirls over your finger before sucking lightly with a pretty flush covering his cheeks. Your eyes widen, another gasp brushing over his cheeks.

“Fuck,” You mumble dreamily, “You’re so good, bunny.”

Your body is burning, jaw slack and the feeling of Jungkook’s bare cock inside of you almost too much to handle. It was wildly irresponsible- he wasn’t wearing a condom and you weren’t on birth control, and it was a conversation for later. But you can’t think, not when it feels this good, not when you’ve had a taste of his cock in this way. Besides, he always pulls out just in time. But still, you both should know better.

“Oh, Jungkook,” You whine, “‘m close, I’m so fucking close, make me cum, bunny-”

“Baby,” Jungkook rasps, “My pretty baby looks so good on my cock like this. My smart, kind, b-beautiful girl, my angel-”

Tears prick your eyes- it’s easy for you to become overwhelmed like this. You tug your hands away and thread your fingers through his, dipping your head for a kiss.

“You like that, angel? You like being mine?” Jungkook murmurs, slowing your hips so he can take over. But he knows you’re close.

“Only yours,” You mumble. Jungkook pulls you into his chest swiftly and flips you so that you’re on your back. He places your legs over his shoulders and brackets your head with his forearms, his necklace just above your nose and his hair tickling your face. But you're mesmerized by the determination and adoration in his eyes.

“Jungkook,” You murmur brokenly, “O-oh, y-yeah, baby, there, mmmf-” You squeeze his biceps with a gasp, watching his face closely. Pushing his hair behind his ears, you cradle his cheek and pull him down for a sweet, long kiss.

His fingers dance across your thighs and rub your clit in slow circles and murmuring soft words of praise in your ear. You’re vaguely aware that your body erupts in a tidal wave of flames, warming you from inside out. You don’t hear anything except for your cries of his name, you don’t see anything but him through your blurry eyes.

“Baby,” Jungkook says through clenched teeth, “O-open your mouth, baby. Fuck, baby, this pussy- I’m gonna cum, baby, fuck-”

You open your mouth with hooded eyes and your tongue lolling out and Jungkook pulls out of you abruptly with a series of curses. He’s not fast enough to get all of his cum in your mouth, some of it landing on your cheek. You swallow his cum with a dopey smile and open your arms for him to bury his face in your tits.

“Fuck, baby,” Jungkook says breathlessly, rolling off of you and pulling you into his side, “This pussy’s gonna be the death of me. Where’d you learn to ride dick like that, huh?”

“I’ll never tell,” You mumble, “Gimme a kiss.”

And so he does, tasting himself on your lips. He kisses you nice and slow, just how you both like after a night like this. Eventually he cleans you up and you do the same for him.

Under the covers with only the shared warmth between your sheets to keep you company, you rest your head on Jungkook’s bicep and look up at him. Your fingers continue tracing patterns on his chest, tracing the swirls and curves of ink as they appear.

Jungkook dips his head to nudge your nose and you softly laugh as his hair falls into your face. “What are you thinking about, baby?” He murmurs, lazily draping an arm over you. By now, you’ve realized that Jungkook is possibly the most vulnerable with you in moments like this. When you’re both bare and basking in a post-sex haze.

That’s not to say that he’s not vulnerable at other times. But it’s just different like this.

You take his hand and thread your fingers through his. His fingers are bare, as you had taken his rings off and they’re currently sitting in your jewelry dish on your dresser.

“We just,” You murmur, “We spent so long being apart. When we should’ve been together. All because I…”

“Stop,” Jungkook says firmly but gently, “Don’t do that. You’re where you’re supposed to be. We’re where we’re supposed to be.”

“But we wasted so much time not being together because of me,” You mumble forlornly, feeling your throat getting a little dry, “Because I listened to Sora and didn’t-”

“Oh, baby,” Jungkook says, pulling you in for a hug and a forehead kiss, “That’s not true at all. We’re together now, and we both had some growing to do. That’s what matters.”

“Okay,” You reply in a strained voice. You don’t quite sound like you believe him, and Jungkook makes a mental note of that. “Do you feel like… we have lost time to make up for?”

“Do you feel like that?” Jungkook counters, making your heart skip a beat, “Because I don’t. I know it’s hard, baby, but you can’t beat yourself up for that. It’s in the past, baby. Forgive yourself. There’s nothing to race against, it’s just me and you.”

“I’ll try,” You say a little meekly. Jungkook nods and pulls you in for a soft kiss, one that has your toes curling and your belly flipping. He shifts so that you’re tucked into his side, surrounded by him and his hands on your skin. He kisses you until your previous thoughts don’t feel so loud in your head, he whispers to you and pulls sweet laughs from your throat until you can detach from the strange cloud that had suddenly appeared.

He’s your safe place.

*********

MoM TAGS: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505 @dreadity @mysugarkoo @ULTRAANONYMOUSEY @moonchild1 @fan-ati--c

TAGS: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

#Jungkook x reader #Jungkook smut #Jeon jungkook x reader #Jeon jungkook smut #Jungkook x you #Jeon jungkook x you #Jungkook fluff

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youvereachedpluto · 3 years

Text

worship / a drabble / diluven

"what do you mean, 'no god,' I'm right here, pray to me, I'll be your salvat—" he breaks off to puke into the nearest trashcan. diluc groans, a headache already forming at the corners of his mind as he turns to grab a rag from behind the counter. he's already filling a glass full of water when venti re-emerges from the trashcan, face paler than before but a certain steadiness in his eyes that diluc never associated with drunken bards. "master diluc, it is quite rude of you to state so boldly, in the presence of one of the oldest archons that you fail to see a need to worship," venti stables himself on the stool. hair unbraided and ribbons of it flowing over his shoulder, under the dim light, they glowed blue and green, highlighting the sharp features of the god that diluc never saw before, features venti did well to hide away in his mortal form. "I never said I failed to see a reason to worship, I said it seems like a waste on you." with the way venti flinches, diluc knows he's gone too far, he's about to take it back, apologize to his god, when venti pushes the stool back, the wooden chair falling to the floor with a crash, his beret held firm between his fists, venti twists and turns the fabric in his hand, his knuckles growing white with the pressure, "you know diluc, there are days when these kinds of thoughts do nothing more but plague my mind, repeating the same horrid words over and over again till I can do little but pay attention to them." "venti---" "it's a scary thing really, to realize such a dreadful fact about yourself; to look in the mirror and see not a god, not an archon, not a being capable of divinity and power, but someone who doesn't deserve a speck of respect. what you say is true master diluc, I truly am not deserving of any of the praise mondstat likes to sing of, the church, the statue, all the festivals held in my name, none of it." diluc feels his heart sting, the thing beating hard and fast against his chest as he feels the wind pick up outside, heavy and thundering where it beats against the windows of the tavern, and venti--venti is a sight to behold. his hair, entirely undone now, falls long and fair over his shoulders, its ends glowing bright and blue, there are faint tattoos peaking through the fabric of his clothes, they glow the same bright teal as his hair and, oh archons his eyes, diluc can't look away from the anger raging behind them. the fear he feels in the presence of barbatos is nothing tantamount to the absolute awe he feels, so this is what it means to be in the presence of a god. "you are right master diluc. I really am unworthy. and the one who truly deserves the praise," he laughs, it's dry and forced, nothing like the airy laugh that usually filled the tavern, "well, he's not here right now, he hasn't been by my side for a while." the winds have grown stronger, and diluc knows a storm has begun to brew outside but he doesn't care. "do you know what the worst part is? though he's gone, I can never forget him, which, centuries ago, seemed like the worst of sins I could commit, how could I ever forget him? but now... now, I wish I could wake up each day and not remember, not remember how he looked like, what his smile looked like, what the sound of his laugh felt like against the wind. but I can't, and every time I am faced with my reflection he looks back at me and I--I--" rain beats down hard and strong, the tavern door rattles against its hinges and momentarily diluc wonders if it would break off. "why can't I forget? the more I drink, the louder his voice, the more I drink, the clearer the color of his eyes, but to remain sober would be to--diluc?" he doesn't know when nor does he remember moving past the counter, but he walks forward, arms wrapping around the slim figure of his god, his god. this close, he can feel the thrum of power that flows through venti, the divinity of the god that diluc was oh so foolish to doubt, "I don't know what you've been through, I doubt I could live through what you've lived through, it is lonely being immortal yes? but for

the time I have with you, for the rest of my days, I will give you all the comfort and warmth I can, and while I may not be who you so dearly remember, I hope I can be someone you dearly know." venti doesn't respond, the softest sobs are the only response diluc gets as he wraps his own arms around the taller man, his head pushing against the crook of dilucs neck, "would you like that barbatos?" diluc feels soft hair tickle his ear as venti shakes his head, "venti," he murmurs, "call me venti please, master diluc?" diluc laughs, and it is a soft thing, "all right, venti," he holds him tighter, "for the rest of my days, I will worship you, and I will love you." "and then? what about after?" "after? ah," diluc lets his heart swell as he thinks of after, "after, I hope you write a few songs about me."

#i was originally gonna make this a fic but #i couldn't make up a plot and so take this #genshin drabbles #genshin impact angst #genshin angst #diluven #venluc #genshin diluc #venti angst #genshin impact venti #venluc angst is so fun to write because everything about them is so sad #plutos angst posts #pluto writes

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

kaleidoscope, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Don’t let him back in. Don’t kiss him. Don’t hold him. And above all, don’t say his name. If you don’t say his name, then it’s like he’s never here. If you don’t say his name, then he’s just a body to use and fuck, not someone who broke your heart and is coming back to piece it together.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; angst; hate / make-up sex (fem reader, too much crying and it gets everywhere; nipple play, fingering, f-receiving oral, cowgirl, penetrative sex); non-idol!BTS - exes to lovers

–

it's an emotional kaleidoscope when i face you >> now playing – forget me too by machine gun kelly ft. halsey

You hated this part right here, because one minute you were shoving him and yelling at him, and telling him he was stupid and dumb and shouldn't be here, but the next moment he grabbed your head and crashed his lips to yours, holding your face, telling you he loved you, and you kept crying and saying that was stupid, so stupid, because you should never take friendship personal, and he had all this shit going on, so it was a terrible idea, a terrible idea to kiss him back, a terrible idea to let him grab your sleep shirt and yank it up and over your head.

"We broke up because you didn't want to commit," you hissed, his hands on your bra-covered breasts now, squeezing roughly, breathing hard on your chin. "Because you didn't want this."

"I know."

His right hand, covered in tattoos, cupping your face, brushing your tears away, replacing them with his because he was crying too, crying for what? Crying because he told you that he didn't want this anymore? Stupid. Kissing you between tears, black hair brushing your face, wild and intense and you were pushing his jacket off, dumping it to the floor, revealing his tattooed right arm and bare left one, wearing only a black t-shirt underneath.

"God, you're so fucking stupid," you muttered, pressing your chest against his, knowing you were just as stupid, just as stupid for grasping his shirt and pulling him to you, kissing him over and over, wet, messy kisses with too many tears. "Some bitch turn you down or what?"

"Nobody turns me down." he muttered, kissing you back, hands on your waist, digging his fingers into your back and scratching harshly, leaving burning lines of lust. "I was making out with my date and it was fine until I thought of you kissing someone else and then it was suddenly shit and I hated it and I didn't want it anymore."

You wanted kisses full of tears? you wondered, but you couldn't say anything, because his hand travelled up and unhooked your bra, pulling it off and tangling it in your arms, not caring, grabbing your tits and squeezing them, pinching your nipples just the way you liked. You moaned into his mouth and flung your bra aside. It tumbled to the floor, just like everything else.

You didn't want to say his name, because it would be like he was here, and you didn't want to think he was here, leaning down and making out with your tits, licking them all over, taking your nipples in his mouth and flicking them with his tongue, telling you how good they tasted, how sexy they were. He hurt you, hurt you with his stupid excuses, and this wasn't fair to you, it wasn't fair to him, but you were doing it anyway, because it wasn't him, he wasn't here, as long as you didn't say his name.

He came back up to your face, kissing you again, tasting like your nipples, breathing your name, telling you he loved you.

"Shut the fuck up. You're an asshole."

You tried to sound rough, annoyed, and you were, but your voice was cracking, because this wasn't fair, wasn't fair that he smelled like someone else's perfume and was dumping it all on you, mixing it with his cologne and the smell of your nipples, kissing you over and over.

“I hate you so fucking much,” you muttered wetly, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and yanking it up and over his head, ruining his hair even more, accidentally smacking him in the chin, but fuck it, he deserved it, it deserved it all, wasting your time and making you think you had love before denouncing it for what it was and taking it all away, grabbing you by the ass and pulling you to him, onto his jean-covered crotch, his lap that someone else had sat in hours before, multiple people maybe. Who the fuck knew? His mouth, so good on yours, his teeth biting your lips, wiping your tears away with the back of his hand as if that would do anything.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he chanted against your lips, taking your exhales, taking your hopeless breath, taking it all away, the nights you spent alone, staring at pictures of him and you, wondering if it was real or not.

“You liar,” you breathed, rolling your body into his, the familiar heat and hardness, making you moan as your sensitive nipples touched his skin, touched his skin like some other bitch must have touched him in between your tears, in between your pretend make-believe that you were okay, your make believe you lived by day, saying he can’t hurt you, not you, the impervious, the confident, the glass house that shattered the second the bullet of his pleading gaze pierced you at your doorstep. His hands sliding up your back, scratching you again, leaving his marks on you, hot pain shaking through your nerves and you holding onto his shoulders, body asking for more, lips on his some more, your pleas in his mouth, don’t stop, fuck, don’t you fucking stop.

His cheek pressed against yours, soaking you with salt and tears. “I’m not a liar.”

“You didn’t say you weren’t an asshole.”

He left one hand splayed on your stinging back as the other slipping down your side, snaking between your legs, the soaked heat burning you and him, igniting you and him, pushing his moan into your throat as he slipped his fingers underneath your panties, running his nails over your slippery folds. The worst, the worst that you wanted it, one hand in his black hair, bunching it up and yanking on it, the other on his back, leaving scalding lines of lust, swearing to yourself to ignore him, just fuck him and destroy him, fuck him and rip up his lies and ruin his life, don’t believe him when he tells you he loves you while plunging his fingers into you, heated kisses and building the pace you loved most.

“I didn’t think I would ever want anybody,” he gasped, dragging you with him, deeper into your apartment and your life, putting himself in places he didn’t belong. “But I want you.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” you gritted out, pulling harder on his hair and making him groan, pressing his straining erection against your thigh.

“I don’t fucking know.”

Pain rippling through his voice, breathing harder, forcefully shoving two fingers into the deepest parts of you, pleasure flowing through you, trying to lower his head to suck on your nipples again, but you didn’t let him, firm grip on his hair, and he moaned, denied, kissing you instead, desperation and pace increasing, faster, faster, driving you to the edge of the world and throwing you over, throwing your head back and spitting curses, so wet it was disgustingly loud and embarrassing, you hated it, hated that you liked the feeling of him pulling his fingers out to gasp and lick his fingers off, savoring your taste, before kissing your again, the taste of your pussy and nipples mixing together with his addictive saliva and his whispers of love.

“I’ll be good to you this time, I promise,” he murmured, nudging you with his nose, tongue tracing your lips, reminding you how good it was, reminding you of long nights flat on your back and his head between your legs, coaxing the pleasure out, so he could drink it all and walk away from you.

“That’s a load of shit,” you scowled, pushing his head down by his hair, his tongue extending, swiping down your torso licking every centimeter of skin you let him have access to, nails digging into your back and all the way down your ass, dragging your panties down, down.

Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say his name and he won’t be here.

Dark brown orbs looked up on you, his knees colliding with the floor, shirtless, hard muscles all tense, tattoos on his right arm gleaming with sweat, still wearing his dark jeans, regret poisoning his handsome features, black hair a mess in your hands and all over his face, pink tongue hanging out, begging for your taste, but your grip on his hair preventing him from getting any closer.

It wasn’t fair.

He whined in his throat, fingernails tearing up your skin, his marks like tattoos, permanently on your skin because you missed him every second of every day even though he ruined everything.

“You’re the worst, Jungkook.”

You rolled your hips into his face, colliding into his teeth, and his eyes rolled back, hungry tongue lapping it all up, warm and soft like his embrace when he held you all those nights before he fucked it all up. He drank you like he was parched, dying, and you didn’t know if it was a lie or the truth but you didn’t care anymore.

Just didn’t care whatever the fuck Jeon Jungkook was.

His eyes snapped back to watch your face and you bucked your hips into his mouth, throwing one leg over his shoulder, squeezing his jaw, brows furrowed, keeping your orgasm at bay, making him work for it, making him ache for it, his fingers sinking into your ass, tongue swiping all over, inside your folds, funneling your nectar into his throat before latching onto your clit, soft and fast and tight, furrowing his own brows, knowing you were denying him, but why did you care, he did this to himself.

“I hate you,” you gasped, tears falling again, staring down at him, clutching his black hair, everything shattering, riding his face, tipping your head back so you weren’t looking at him anymore, gravity forcing the tears back, back, riding the high instead, fuck the sadness and turn into your drug, your drug between your legs, breath constricting in your throat as you came, filling his mouth and splattering on his chin.

Jungkook moaned your name and shook his head in between your legs to smear your juices all over his face, tugging on his own hair in your hand.

“I love you,” he panted, licking you all over, his saliva dripping down your thighs with your orgasm.

“I don’t want to hear the shit you tell everyone else,” you scoffed, releasing his hair and throwing him back, unhooking your leg and backing up, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hand and flicking it aside, breathing hard, head and chest tight, not thinking straight, high on pleasure and low on life, naked and guarded, still backing up as Jungkook got to his feet, pushing his hair back from his messy face, using his own shirt to clean it off before throwing it back down on your floor, your marks all over him and his marks all over your body and your surroundings. You wished you could find him ugly with bloodshot eyes and ruined hair, his scratched-up torso shuddering and struggling for breath, guilt weakening his strong features.

You stared each other down, heavy exhale matching heavy exhale.

Jungkook said your name, streaked with pain.

“Say my name again.” Coming closer to you, voice cracking. “Even if it’s with the words, ‘I hate you, Jungkook.’ I just want to hear you say my name.”

Remembering all those days and all those nights, throwing your phone aside as he ignored your call for the hundredth time, screaming alone at your walls, wishing these same walls would cave in and take you with them, wishing you weren’t going out to drink way too much and pray you didn’t wake up anymore, wishing it wasn’t Jeon Jungkook who did this to you.

Was it him?

Or was it you, loving to hard, knowing it was going to crash and burn, knowing that this love had been a cigarette that had an ending, a burn that would turn to ash and float away, two people who weren’t ready for anything more than that?

You turned away, unable to look at him anymore, throwing yourself on your bed, the crying place, the place of lust, the place of long nights alone, looking up at the ceiling, wishing the walls would cave in and crush you so you didn’t have to wake up alone.

He was on you in an instant, hands on your hands, pushing you onto your back, kissing you again, getting on top of you, looking for love and you gave it to him, yanking your hands out and grabbing his face, hungry, desperate, messed-up kisses, your taste on his lips, his apologies getting stifled by your tongue forcing its way into his mouth, fucking him mercilessly, turning his words into moans, hooking your legs around his waist and pressing your wetness all over his pants, all over his jeans, replacing that cheap perfume and his own cologne, covering him with you.

“You think all your whores will want you when they know you’re back here with me?” you snarled, grabbing him by the shoulders and rolling him onto his back, pinning him down with violent kisses and brutal scratches down his chest.

“Probably,” he gasped, following your mouth when you pulled back, his words in your throat. “They want me no matter what.”

You clicked your tongue, yanking at his jeans, undoing them sloppily.

“Just like how I love you no matter what.”

You pulled them down, curling your lip in distaste at his response, seeing the wet spot in the front of his underwear, his pre-cum soaked through. You dragged those down too, his hard cock popping up, reaching down to his back jeans pocket, pulling out the condom he always kept there. Your gaze flickered up, narrowing your eyes.

“You’re so stupid, Jungkook.”

He was breathing hard, chest torn up by your rage, red lines on tan skin.

“Yeah, I am.”

You ripped the condom open and took it out, throwing the wrapper aside, rolling it down his stiff length with him moaning, pants will half-on, but you ignored it, getting up and sinking down on him, swallowing him with your heat, setting him and you on fire, riding him agonizingly slow to piss him off, to make him growl, enduring it for only a few minutes before grabbing your arms and pinning you to his body, rolling you back over to your side of the bed and planting his hands on the bed, fucking you forcefully and hurriedly, clenching his jaw.

“So eager to finish?” you taunted, almost spitting in his face, so furious your core tightened, muscles choking his cock and making him hiss. “So ready to run away just like how you ran away last time, Jungkook, telling me bullshit about how you didn’t want to be loved by me?”

He grabbed your legs and pushed them up to his shoulders, slapping his hips into yours, his crotch and balls getting soaked with your cum and his saliva, wet loud smacks that used to fill up this room most nights, his eyes staring into yours, nearly black with his expanded pupils, the dark sea swimming in those orbs, drowning you and drowning him, dotting your face with his tears once more.

“Shit on me some more, why don’t you?” he ground out.

“You fucking deserve that shit,” you shot back, now slapping your hips back into his, feeling it now, feeling the unbearable lust and heat and fury and pain and desire for this to be real, your hands finding his hair again, pulling on it with every thrust, your whines and his cries mixing together, chasing blind release, watching his cock disappear into you and fill you to an almost unbearable tightness before looking back up to his face, neck and jaw tense, harder, harder, you holding back and him holding back, a stupid game of cat and mouse, his fucking favorite.

“Cum for me, fuck,” he panted. “Fucking cum for me, I need it, need you to feel good with my cock, please, fuck, don’t do this, please…”

Harder, faster, louder, you pulling his head down to kiss him messily, tits and bed bouncing, nails digging into his scalp, so close, barely holding on as it always was with him, on the verge of fireworks, getting your hands singed and burnt along the way, cursing loudly, your fate, your luck, and him, all at once, the feeling racing down your spine and exploding in between your joined hips.

“Fuck!”

Jungkook moaned in your mouth, cock milked by spasming velvety walls, shooting large spurts of cum into the condom, your pussy responding in kind, drenching his balls and crotch, your softness bent underneath his hardness, his kisses all over you again and you tried to shove him off, only for him to pin your wrists down, kissing you deeply, and you exhaling in his mouth, filling him from below and above, drowning him with you.

“Let me stay…” he sobbed in your face.

“So you can leave before I wake up?” you hiccupped, the pressure in your head and your legs numbing you, swearing you would never fall in love with Jeon Jungkook ever again, but you didn’t have to, because you were already in love with him, still in love with him, stupidly in love with him.

“Tie me down, lock me up, I don’t care,” he managed to get out in between sniffles, letting go of your hands and lowering your legs, wrapping his arms around you and rolling your bodies, putting you on top of him, his cock sliding out, but he held you tight, soul crushingly so. “Don’t sleep, watch me all night, anything you want.” Your name formed wetly on his lips, his hair and his scent all over your pillows once more, the place he looked best, the place he belonged. “Anything.”

You seized his head, shaking him. “Don’t you see how crazy you’re acting?”

Those dark brown orbs were sinking with his thoughts and your anger.

“That’s how I know I made a mistake.”

His hand cupped your cheek, searching your eyes, looking for his validation.

“I promise it’s different this time.”

His promises didn’t mean anything.

“Just forget me, Jungkook…” you cracked, forehead hitting his, adrenaline dying out, the crushing weight of your mistakes excruciating, wishing it would all go away. “Remember that you were the one who didn’t want this.”

He kissed you, far too long and too wet, a complete and utter mess.

“My memory’s shit,” he whispered, shudders shaking his tone and soul. “Absolute fucking garbage. It only remembers that I love you more than anything else in the world.”

“You’re so fucking stupid.”

You closed your eyes and, when you opened them again, his clothes were all over the floor.

His taste still on your lips.

His tears still soaked in your skin.

His body still tangled up in your life, his lips still saying I love you like a broken record.

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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ficsforeren · 3 years

Note

Pff friends to lovers or enemies to lovers or or fwb to lovers

no wait fuck some ideas just popped up in my head

IMAGINE THIS ANON

Friends with Benefits (NSFW)

Eren is in a band and he goes on tour as an opening act for one of the biggest stars out there. He's just starting but he's popular as fuck. Being his childhood friend, it's a wonder why he still keeps being in touch with you. Maybe he's just comfortable having you around cause unlike other girls, you're not screaming his name at the top of your lungs whenever you see him. Well, not yet anyway.

You have a crush on him, everybody does, because he’s just that physically attractive. You haven’t really thought about dating him, though, and you're not sure how he feels about you. One night, as he performed in his hometown, he asked you to see him on stage and you did. He invited you to the after party, had his arms thrown over your shoulders as you got so drunk, you could barely walk straight. He drove you home, said goodbye with a kiss on the cheek but instead of stepping out of his car, you caught his lip between yours and before you knew it, his tongue was in your mouth.

"What are we doing?" he asked.

"I don't know." you kissed him again and this time, his hand slipped underneath your shirt.

"I don't want to stop," he moaned against your mouth, trailing wet kisses to your neck.

"Then don't."

It was the first time you slept together, but it wasn't the last. You both wanted to keep it casual. He was afraid of commitment, and you knew you'd be constantly jealous if this became serious. You slept with him whenever he was in town, promised to not get attached. One day, as you stepped down from his bed, you didn't linger around for long to have a conversation. You had a date with this cute boy named Armin and you couldn't afford to be late.

"Going somewhere?" Eren asked, a rolled joint stuck between his teeth as he lit it up. He was bare naked underneath the sheets, with tattoos painting his arm.

"Yeah." You hooked your bra together, throwing a little smile over your shoulder. "I've got a date."

"Now?"

"Yeah."

"But we just had sex."

You laughed. "Yeah, so?" you walked away from the bed, searching for your panties.

Eren didn't respond but there was a little scowl on his face. You didn't see it, even if you did, you shouldn't pay any attention to it 'cause you were keeping this casual, right? There was no right for him to be jealous.

He kept quiet as you dressed back into your clothes, fixing your hair and re-applying your lipstick on the vanity mirror that his hotel room provided. When you were finished, you grabbed your purse and walked to his spot. "Goodbye," you kissed him on the cheek once but before you could step away, he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you back down to the bed. His mouth tasted like weed and a little bit of you from when he went down on you earlier. "Eren--" you tried to push him away by the shoulders but he pinned your hands against the sheets, tying your wrists together and holding them above your head with one hand, while his other one slipped underneath your dress. "Wait--"

He wasn't stopping, his tongue sliding against yours, his fingers rubbing against your clit from above your panties. Your body responded to him naturally, like how it always did. He pushed your underwear to the side, broke off the kiss just so he could suck on his fingers and coat them with saliva before he eased not one, but two fingers inside you, pumping them in and out of you until you were clutching hard against his shoulders. "Fuck, why--" you couldn't form a sentence. He crooked his fingers inside, scissoring them, and applying pressure to your clit with his thumb. His mouth was painting bruises on your neck, teeth gritting against your sensitive skin. He drove you all the way to the edge but when you began to squeeze your legs around his hand, ready to be washed away by your orgasm, he stopped.

Eren retracted his fingers, brought them into his mouth and hollowed his cheeks around them. He darted out his tongue, licking your juices off his digits, never taking his eyes away from yours as he did it.

"Have fun on your date," he said, smirking before he stepped down the bed and walked toward the bathroom. "Oh," he stopped, propping an arm against the doorframe. "It's gonna show." Seeing you frown, he tapped one finger to his neck. You blushed, knowing that you wouldn't be able to go on a date with his love marks plastered all over your skin.

***

Enemies to lovers

Imagine being his enemy from day one ever since you met each other. he's hot as fuck but he's been nothing but an ass to you and you can't stand him. One day, Eren sees you eating by yourself in the cafeteria, so he grins and walks to your table with spring in his steps.

"This is just sad," he coos, casually sitting in front of you with a cheeseburger in his hands. "So you have no friends, no lover, and your hair smells like sewer? I feel sorry for you, Sweetheart."

"Fuck off, Jaeger, I'm not in the mood." You grumble. "Also, I'd appreciate it more if you don't sniff my hair. Ever."

"I can smell it from a thousand miles away, idiot, take a shower for once." But when he doesn't hear any retort coming from you, his face grows concerned. "What? Did someone die?"

"No," you sigh, "It's just..." Your eyes dart to where Jean is sitting between Connie and Sasha, laughing so loudly that he's starting to gain everyone's attention. He's the school's jock and earlier this morning, he tripped you with his foot and whistled at you when he saw a glimpse of your panties. It was downright humiliating and you wanted to fight back but you didn't want to make a scene. you avert your gaze away before Eren notices, clearing your throat. "It's fine. Just a bit under the weather that's all."

Eren frowns, noticing where you've been looking. "Is it Jean?"

"No, it's--"

"It's fucking Jean, isn't it?"

"Eren--" but he's already back to his feet, rushing to Jean's table and grabs him around the collar.

Jean chokes out, "Yo--what the fuck--"

"What did you do to her?" Eren says through clenched teeth.

"Do what--I didn't--" Jean notices you're standing behind him with your breath hitched in your throat. "Oh. I don't know what you're talking about, Jae--"

"I'm gonna ask this one more time, you fucking horse face." Eren tightens his grip around his collar. "What did you do to her?"

Everyone is staring and you feel it's more embarrassing to keep this up so you stroke Eren's arm and pull him back to you. "Eren, nothing happened."

"You look like you're gonna cry, you idiot, something must have happened." He glares back at Jean. "Apologize to her."

"Why are you defending her so much?" Jean retorts. "Aren't you two supposed to hate each other?"

"Yeah, she's a bitch but she's mine," he growls. "And if you ever lay your fucking hands on her again, I'm gonna make sure you pay for it."

#didn't double-check this so there might be grammatical errors or typos #did this in like 10 minutes? 15?#bear with me anon this is right off the bat #i just had a realization #eren smut #eren jaeger smut #eren yeager smut #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader smut #eren headcanons #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader

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bestiesenpai · 3 years

Text

Inamorata - Sukuna

You have no idea how much I like this idea lol ya know the meme ‘i got a boyfriend, yeah he kills people he’s crazy’ this is exactly what went through my head with this. Femme reader, I went for a...Sukuna is his own person and not attached to Itadori kind of thing? Like just a stand-alone demon. I had probably way too much fun writing this and would be down to write more for this concept

Content warnings: killing/murder/homicide choose your preferred noun, a little yandere?, size difference and Sukuna is in his four armed form, uhmm there’s a knife(main use to cut open readers palm in the beginning) and also licking blood from said wound, violence/gore at the end

Apparently there was a demon on the loose. From what you’d read on online forums and heard through the whispers of older people on the train, there was a foreboding presence terrorizing the city, preying on the weak and helpless and hoping to take over the world.

There were blurry photos and horrible sketches of what the creature supposedly looked like and the form it took, but none of them seemed to match up. The tattoos on the face and body were always off, the amount of muscle and the stature of the creature were all different depending on who you went to.

Which is why you decided, against all better judgement, to go looking for him. All the stories you’d heard about the demon, the kind of creature it was centuries ago in its prime, had intrigued you. With the mystique and terror surrounding this demon, you’d be a fool not to try and get a peek for yourself.

At first you’d tried a summoning circle, clearing a large space in your bedroom and drawing intricate patterns on the floor in hopes of his arrival. That method quickly turned futile as no demon ever came - but now you probably had a few ghosts watching you sleep at night.

The second method was to try and make a pact with the devil himself, slicing open your palm and dripping blood onto the pages of old scriptures. Attempting to sell your soul had worked even less than the first method and all you had to show for it was a bandage around your hand for two weeks.

“I’ll definitely see him now.” You mumbled to yourself, walking straight to where the demon was seen most: the red light district. Walking past bright neon signs and nearly naked women in shop windows, you took a peek into every alleyway you came across.

“Hey pretty lady, what’re you looking for?” A rough, scratchy voice sounded behind you as you walked past the umpteenth alleyway of the night.

“What do you think?” Not looking over your shoulder, you kept walking. The voice, while sounding absolutely disgusting, didn’t belong to a demon and therefore not worth your time.

“I think you’re looking for trouble.” Curling his fingers around your arm, the man you were trying to ignore snatched you back, making you stumble and fall into his chest. The nasty scent of body odor and cigarettes was wafting off the man, making you worry that his stench would cling to you for days.

“Not the kind you’re talking about.” Pushing away from him, you furiously wiped off your clothes. Looking this man in the face irritated you, he was wasting his time and you knew exactly what his intentions were.

“Don’t play so hard to get!” Forcing a less than charming smile on his face, the man made the move to grab you again.

“Don’t touch me!” Slapping his hands away, you took generous steps back from him. “You’re getting in the way of my search.”

“Search?” Quirking a brow at you, the man took a moment to think before his brows rose in surprise. “You’re looking for Sukuna, aren’t you?”

“That’s his name?” You’d never heard his name before, only seeing some people refer to him as a four armed creature from hell.

“Yup, and I’ve seen him a couple times.” Crossing his arms over his chest, the man smirked triumphantly. “You could say he and I have a kind of friendly relationship.”

“Do you now?” Your eyes trailed up from the man to the dark alleyway behind him where two glowing red eyes emerged.

“Oh yeah, Sukuna’s a great guy! Even offered to give me a position in his little army.” The more he spoke the brighter the eyes got and the fuzzy outline of a gigantic body was starting to take shape.

“His little army?” Slowly taking steps back as the figure came forward, you barely had time to react before the man was snatched up by two giant hands and yanked backwards. Lifting him into the air, it wasn’t long before a mouth with gleaming sharp teeth opened up and swallowed him whole.

As the eyes drew their attention back to you, a nervous laugh left your chest that you couldn’t force to stop. Every step you took back was now accompanied by a step forward from the creature until it fully left the alleyway and you saw exactly what you were dealing with.

Right in front of you, in full form and glory, was the demon you’d been searching for. The scrawling black tattoos along his entire body, the four arms, pink hair, second set of eyes and his impossibly muscular physique - all of it was exactly like you’d been hoping for.

“Hello, pretty little thing.” His voice boomed despite being relatively quiet, a slight echo to the deep timbre. It was almost melodic in a way, somehow soothing your racing heart just slightly.

“S-sukuna?” You squeaked out, back meeting the brick wall of a building.

“That would be me.” Chuckling as he stopped a few feet from you, Sukuna crossed his secondary arms and looked down upon you. The sheer height and width of his body easily dwarfed yours, your head only barely reaching his ribcage.

Your eyes couldn’t stay in one place as you looked at Sukuna. There was too much to take in and you could feel yourself quickly becoming overwhelmed trying to commit every detail to memory.

“You’re…” Licking your lips nervously, you could only meet his eyes for a moment before settling on the mark on his forehead. “You’re wearing womens clothes.” Tied around his waist and hanging off his legs was indeed a womens kimono, a surprising pristine white shade.

“That’s what you decide to say at our first meeting?” An echoing laugh bellowed from him and Sukuna shook his head, running one hand through his hair.

“I-I’m sorry it’s just...they never mentioned it online.” It felt a little silly to be explaining yourself to him when at any moment Sukuna could eat you like he did that man and you would have no way of stopping him.

“Little thing, I have a question for you.” Fixing you with a suddenly sharp stare, Sukuna lowered his brow and bent down, placing two arms above your head and two at your side, trapping you in against the wall with no possible outs.

“Yes?” Pinching your eyes closed, you held your breath as you waited for the inevitable bite of his teeth around.

“Are you scared?” Sukuna whispered, his breath fanning out over the top of your head.

“Yes.” It would be a lie to say no and you had nothing to lose by telling the truth. Sukuna’s eyes bore into you, the weight of his stare physically making your back bow.

“What did you think of me eating that man just now? Was that terrifying for you?”

“No.” Sukuna took a pause at your answer and although you couldn’t see it, his brow furrowed for a fraction of a second.

“What did you feel then? Surely you must have thought it was horrible.”

“N-not really.” Slowly cracking one eye open, you looked up at Sukuna, almost breaking your neck from having to stare directly above you. “I was actually quite happy you did that. He was getting on my nerves.”

The barking laugh that left Sukuna’s mouth made you flinch and throw your hands in the air. It was so loud it seemed to vibrate your entire body and a few windows on the building behind you shook from the force.

“You’re telling me you liked me killing that guy?” Grabbing you by the collar of your shirt, Sukuna held you up in the air, eye level to him. You nodded, pitifully kicking your legs out to try and get back to solid ground. “Aren’t you a messed up little thing?” Still laughing, Sukuna took a proper once over of your body. “Pretty, but messed up.”

“P-please let me go!” You whimpered, hands desperately clutching Sukuna’s to try and not fall out of your clothes and onto the ground.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like how I hold you?” Shaking you for good effect, Sukuna smirked wildly at your scared little squeaks. “Tell me your name.”

“It’s (Y/N)!” Shouting into the air, you felt relief flood into you as Sukuna finally lowered you back to the ground and his hands released you.

“(Y/N)?” Sounding it out on his tongue, Sukuna shrugged to himself. “I like ‘little thing’ better.”

“I’m only little compared to you.” Fixing your clothes, you tried to regain your breath and stop your body from shaking so violently.

“So, what’s a creature like you doing out so late at night here? It’s not safe for a human like you to roam around these parts.”

“I was looking for you.”

“Me? You were looking for me?” Sukuna snorted, waving his hand dismissively at you. “A human like you looking for me? I’ve really seen it all.”

“It’s true!” Pulling out your phone, you quickly showed him all the data you’d compiled on him. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Sukuna! I did a summoning circle, I’ve looked in hundreds of online forums - I even tried to make a deal with the devil!” Showing him the mark that was still healing on your palm, the fear that was in your body was slowly trickling out and being replaced with- hope? Excitement? It was hard to say, but as Sukuna grasped your hand between two fingers and looked at your palm, it would be wrong to say it was a negative emotion you felt.

“You really did all that for me?” His voice was much softer now but it still sounded like he was mocking you. Smoothing the pad of one finger across your palm, he felt the ridges of your palm and the wound.

“I did. I find you really fascinating and I- I just wanted to learn more about you.” You faltered when he looked at you, a fierce heat overtaking your cheeks at admitting out loud that you’d been looking for a demon because you found him interesting.

“Are you perhaps interested in me?” A smirk tugged one side of Sukuna’s lip up and he chuckled when your expression only grew more flustered. “Oh little thing, you’re more messed up than I thought.”

“Will you tell me more about yourself? Please?” The words tumbled out of your mouth desperately as you let Sukuna stretch out your arm and grasp your hand more firmly. He didn’t answer you or even acknowledge that you’d spoken, instead grazing the tip of one long sharp nail along the line of the cut.

“I find myself liking you more and more, why is that?” Sukuna’s tone sounded like he was addressing himself as he spoke aloud, turning your hand every which way as he kept scraping his nail against your palm. “Were you my lover in the past, back when I reigned as the ruler of this whole land?”

Racking your brain to try and remember any information on Sukuna potentially having a lover, you were ripped back to reality when Sukuna dug his nail into your skin, reopening the cut and making blood flow freely.

“Ow!” You couldn’t yank your arm out of his grasp and you watched in mild horror as Sukuna lowered himself to your hand, letting his tongue hang out of his mouth and drag across your skin. His tongue quickly became coated in dark red blood, his saliva starting to mingle with your blood.

“You taste so familiar, you must have been mine.” Lapping up your blood now, Sukuna didn’t stop until he could tell you were starting to get weak from blood loss. The lower half of his face was now covered in red, smeared across his skin like paint.

“Sukuna, that’s gross.” The mumble slipped from your delirious mind, making him laugh as he waved a hand over the cut and made it go away. Slipping your hand from his grasp it was like there had never been a mark there in the first place.

“A human telling me what’s gross?” Licking his face clean, Sukuna grinned down at you. The longer he looked at you the longer memories of a past you returned to his mind. The irresistible draw he felt to come to you tonight had been the same one that called to him centuries ago, making you the center of his otherwise cruel and empty world.

Placing two hands on the wall behind you, Sukuna leaned over you once more, this time grasping your chin and turning your face up to him. The saliva that had mixed with your blood had also given you new memories of the past as well, and as you looked at Sukuna you remembered all the things the two of you had done together.

“So, my pet, what shall we do first?”

Sukuna ended up carrying you home, having you tucked inside his kimono as he leaped on rooftops across the city. Opening your bedroom window, Sukuna shoved his body through, having to make himself slightly smaller to fit inside the house.

“Are you uh, hungry?” Standing awkwardly in the middle of your bedroom as Sukuna sat on your bed, you weren’t quite sure what to do now.

“I could eat.” Laying fully back on your bed, it creaked and groaned as Sukuna rested his weight on it. The thought of offering to take him to the kitchen came and went quickly in your head; just getting him into your room was a hard enough task.

Fixing him and yourself a quick meal, as soon as you were done eating Sukuna picked you up and rested you on his abdomen. Even after shrinking himself down your legs were still stretched as wide as possible in hopes of wrapping around his waist.

“As the memories of you return, I realize how much I’ve missed you, my pretty little thing.” Petting down your back, Sukuna looked at you fondly. Propped up on two of his arms, he could stare directly at your tiny body sitting atop him.

“What kind of memories do you have?” So far, the only thing you could seem to recall were memories of a more sexual nature. One’s of you and Sukuna wrapped up in each other's arms, both of his cocks stuffed inside you as you begged to cum.

“I remember giving you the world, whatever you wanted was yours for the taking.” The look in Sukunas eyes was surprisingly soft and you could feel the love coming out from him.

“Whatever I wanted?” Repeating the words, your mouth hung open slightly at all the possible things you could get.

“The world may exist to serve me, but I exist to serve you.” Fully sitting up, Sukuna held you against him as he leaned down, lips grazing your forehead. “What do you want, (Y/N)? I can get you anything in the world, I can do anything in the world.”

“Kill for me.” The whisper that left your lips was almost too quiet for even yourself to hear. But Sukuna nodded, having heard you perfectly. Your words made his body thrum with excitement and his nerves were on edge.

“Kill for you?” He repeated, kissing you on the forehead. The fingers that held you closely dug into your sides and if Sukuna wasn’t careful he could crush you completely.

“You love me, don’t you?” There was just the slightest hint of worry in your voice. What if you were overestimating your power over Sukuna? He could say no or even kill you himself.

“You have no idea what the things my love for you will do.”

Although it pained him to do so, Sukuna left you once the sun began to rise. He had other things to attend to, temples that worshipped him as a god to visit. Promising to see you once dusk began to settle over the sky, Sukuna leapt from your window and into the horizon.

“You came back.” Even though he swore up and down he’d come back, it still shocked you to see him back on your bed once it hit a certain time of night.

“Of course I did.” Sukuna almost seemed hurt you would question him. Holding out a hand, as soon as you grasped one of his fingers he pulled you to him and nestled your body into his side. “Did you do what I asked?”

“The list is in my pocket.” Before leaving, Sukuna had told you to make a list of all the people you wanted him to kill for you. The list had started out short, just a few people that had hurt you that you couldn’t let go of, and then it grew to others, politicians and corrupt people in the media.

“Quite impressive, little thing.” Reading over the list, Sukuna stood up. “Shall we go then?”

“Go whe-” As Sukuna threw open your bedroom window you were met with a strong gust of wind. “Sukuna, where are we going?” You asked him over the wind in your ears. Putting his upper arms into the sleeves of his kimono, he made sure you were nestled safely inside.

“We’re going to take care of the first person on your list.” Wrapping an arm around you, Sukuna jumped out of the window. Though this wasn’t your first time in this position, you hadn’t been fully cognizant when Sukuna took you home last night. Now, with a head clear and no lack of blood to distract you, you could see the lights of the city clearly as they whipped past you.

“It’s beautiful.” Carefully leaning forward, you gazed at the downtown area with all the flashing lights and swerving cars.

“If you say so.” Patting your hip, Sukuna pulled you back, resting your weight fully on his arm and clothes. He wouldn’t admit it, and despite knowing he would catch you in a millisecond, Sukuna didn’t want you to fall out and fall to the ground.

Coming upon the first persons house, he settled you on the ground outside. You were in a tightly knit residential area standing directly under a streetlight, with rows of houses that all looked similar. In a flash, Sukuna had broken into the house and grabbed the person you were after.

“This them?” With a tight grip on their ankle, Sukuna shook them side to side.

“Mhmm.” You didn’t need to look to know he’d gotten the right person, just the feeling you had around them was enough to confirm it.

“W-what’s going on here?!” They screamed, blood pooling in their head the longer they hung upside down.

“Don’t speak.” Sukuna barked, shaking them once again. “You don’t speak to her, or at all.” The person screamed again, a high pitched sound that quickly got shut off as Sukuna swung their body and smacked them against the ground. “I thought I told you to be quiet.”

For a moment you thought they’d died from how hard Sukuna hit them against the ground, but a small whimper and breathless gasps sounded from where their face was crushed against the pavement.

“Do you know why I’m here?” You whispered, standing over their motionless body. Rolling over onto their back, they shook their head and started to stammer. “If you can’t answer my question I don’t want you to make a sound.” Pressing your foot onto their throat, you flinched when their hands came up to try and claw you away.

“Don’t touch her.” Instantly pinning their arms down, Sukuna glowered. “How would you like me to do it?”

“Let me think.” Staring down into their glassy eyes, a million options went through your mind. Sukuna’s power was limitless, there was nothing he couldn’t do. If you asked him to throw their body into outer space, he would do it in a heartbeat. “Rip them limb from limb. You can eat them if you’d like.”

“As you wish.” A sick grin curled Sukuna’s lip and he drug their body across the ground until they were directly underneath him.

“(Y/N) wait! W-wait please!” Their shrill cries fell on deaf ears, and the sound of the first limb being torn off their body was something you could get used to. “Oh- oh my god, my leg!”

“God I wish you’d shut up.” You kept your eyes on the person's face, refusing to look at where blood squirted generously from their now missing extremity.

“Allow me.” With the swipe of one claw Sukuna gouged out their throat. Hot, bright red blood spilled out onto the pavement, pooling and almost making it to where you stood. Throwing one leg into his mouth, Sukuna used a non-bloody hand to lift you up and place you onto a brick wall.

“Thank you.” Giving him a gentle smile, you now had a front row seat to Sukuna ripping apart this person's body and slowly devouring them. There was a mess of blood coating Sukuna’s skin, far more blood than when he had drunk yours.

As you watched Sukuna eat this person, a sense of satisfaction washed over you. It felt good to get justice in your own way for how this person wronged you. After being told to let it go, try and move and let time heal the wound, you could finally get closure the way you wanted.

“All done?” You asked once the last piece of their body was consumed. Standing up to his full height, Sukuna still looked down at you. The blood on his skin began to sizzle off, evaporating into the air and leaving the pungent smile of iron behind.

“Have I made you happy?” He responded, cupping your face and lightly squishing your cheeks. Smiling proudly, a warm flush washed over your face the longer you and Sukuna looked at each other.

“Yes, very.” Nuzzling into his palm and kissing it, you let out a breathless laugh as Sukuna did the same.

“I’m happy to please you.” Kissing you on the top of the head, Sukuna pulled out the list and crossed out the first name. “Shall we go to the others now?”

#tw: violence #tw: blood #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen scenarios #jujutsu kaisen imagines

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djarinsbeskar · 3 years

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PREQUEL ARC: PART 2 - THE HOUK

A/N: Part 2 is here! First and foremost, can I just say thank you so much for the reception Part 1 received and to those who (gasps!) actually want me to tag them for updates??? I don’t know how to react??? I’m so touched??????? It’s so motivating and has reminded me why I love sharing my scribbles!

There’s a greater focus on world/character building in this chapter so if it feels a bit rambling or description heavy, I do apologise! Like I said, I’m trying to build some context to the reader-insert before we get to the smut, and I hope that I’ve kept her general enough that she doesn’t cross the line too much into OC territory and becomes unrelatable. As always, constructive criticism is welcome! My style of writing leaves much to be desired so I would love to know if something doesn’t make sense so I can improve and fix it. But enough of that, on with the show!

Pairing: Din Djarin/Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.2k

Rating: 18+ (NO Minors)

Warnings: Language and slight injury detail.

Plot: You encounter Mando suffering one misfortune after another.

AO3 | Stitches Masterlist | Main Masterlist

8 ABY, Mynock, Dandoran.

The second time you met him, he had dislocated his shoulder after a nasty clash with a Houk.

Your dealing with the Mandalorian on Klatooine had moved to the back of your mind and you rarely, if ever, thought about it. It was merely another encounter with a rough character that needed some medical attention. You wouldn’t have been able to hazard a guess at how many similar characters you saw in a week while you worked at the clinic. Even more so when you’d left Klatooine after becoming disillusioned that the New Republic were actually trying to make a difference.

You had heard stories from the Core and Mid Rim planets. Stories of the investment and progress being made to rebuild after the tyranny of the Empire, of the billions of credits being poured into the development of new ship building centers on Corellia and large, extravagant residencies for government members on Coruscant. Things, you were sure, that were not actually urgent necessities as they were desires. Especially given that the funds you received from that same government to sustain the clinic thinned before drying up completely a few months after your encounter with the Mandalorian.

…Hemorrhaging more credits than is justified for the benefits we’re seeing in return.

The busybody politician with a colorful title and even more colorful robes waxed poetically, hiding the sentiment of disinterest in ways only a politician could. Half-heartedly trying to distract you by his explanations with empty praise and gratitude for your service during the Rebellion and your humanitarian work now, a true embodiment of what the New Republic stands for. He crowed like the colorful bird he looked like, dressed as he was with fine feathers lining the lapels of his robes.

You bristle at the memory of the hologram’s eyes flickering to look at anything besides you, running down the time you had spent weeks trying to get.

That was when the memory of the Mandalorian surfaced, surprisingly. How the day after you treated him you arrived at the medical center and saw a familiar pouch of credits sitting innocently behind the check-in desk. When you enquired with the receptionist, she told you it was sitting there once she opened up earlier that morning. The only note left being on one of the datapads behind the desk, the scrawling font reading; to help with your work. You had let out a chuckle to yourself as you checked your schedule, wondering if the brutish male you had treated last night really was as cold as he portrayed himself to be.

The memory had incited a righteous anger that a bounty hunter was more willing to support a voluntary clinic than the government that set it up in the first place was.

I thought the Empire were the ones who put a credit limit on what a life is worth. You had hissed in return, interrupting what you were sure was a well-rehearsed and well used speech, before hanging up. You pressed the heel of your hands into your eyes, taking a shuddering breath as you tried not to be nihilistic in thinking that you had spent nearly half your life thinking you could make a difference, when, you were just serving the Empire in different clothing.

It wasn’t a fair comparison; you knew the New Republic was neither as cruel nor as tyrannical and oppressive as it’s predecessor, but you had been made so dreadfully aware that in places like the Outer Rim, people would always be overlooked by those in power because they simply didn’t offer enough to be worth looking at.

The realization was a raw wound to your soul. You had lost brothers and friends to the fight for liberation, but it didn’t seem as though the grass was much greener on the other side. Maybe elsewhere in the galaxy it was, but where you were needed most, the grass was dehydrated and dying under the relentless sun.

With the clinic penniless, your meagre pension from the Rebellion was not nearly enough to keep it functioning. Add to that the reluctance of the other medics to run the clinic alongside you out of their own pocket and the intergalactic beacon for medical aid that alerted anyone in the parsec of where to go being disengaged, traffic stopped. The native Klatooinians preferred their own healers and very rarely, if ever, sought out medics from the New Republic.

For the first time in your life, your path wasn’t clear. If you even had a path anymore.

That was how you found yourself on Dandoran, flying off a week after the last of the medics left Derelkann to the first planet that was habitable to humans. But by the Maker, it was even rougher than Klatooine. The temperate climate and lush greenery were more comfortable for you, but the city you found yourself in, Mynock, was to say the least, undesirable. Having once been Hutt Space, there were still several illegal operations active that kept the city going and you learned early on what areas to avoid and to always carry a blaster with you. But at least where there was activity, there was work for you.

***

You met Biran Sonter the very day you arrived, asking directions to the nearest medical facility, hoping they could use another medic. He was an elderly Mirialan male with a wealth of history behind him, his facial tattoos creased with deep wrinkles and a kindly smile that reminded you of your grandfather.

You were flabbergasted to learn that during the time of the Galactic Republic, he acted as the royal physician to the palace on Naboo.

As you choked on the tea he had kindly made for you at that revelation, you couldn’t ask him quickly enough how he ended up here? On an Outer Rim backwater skughole of a planet and his tale had been sobering. When the Republic first fell, anyone who did not immediately surrender to the rising Empire was terminated. Biran had, at the time, only heard word of the death of the beloved former Queen Amidala and blamed the Empire vehemently. Escaping on one of the last shuttles from the Mid Rim planet before legions of clones descended, he arrived on Dandoran where no one, not even the Hutts cared enough to notice him. All they knew, was that he was an excellent doctor who charged little for his services and kept to himself. That was good enough for them. While he treated a vast number of criminals ranging from thieves to bounty hunters, he was not wholly merciful. He somehow managed to avoid or talk his way out of treating anyone in the organized crime syndicates or known traffickers and killers. It may have gone against a physician’s code to do ones best to save every life, but he like many, made their own code in the Outer Rim.

You fell into a fast and easy friendship with the Mirialan after that, your similar histories of working in the medical field despite being decades apart giving you plenty to talk about. The practice Biran ran in Mynock was always busy and he was only too grateful when you offered to take the weight off his old shoulders and gradually, his clients began to expect to see you most of the day and Biran for a few hours in the early morning. You were never short on work between cantina brawls, accidents and the downright attacks that took place in Mynock and the next eighteen standard months seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, Klatooine a distant memory, as was the Mandalorian you met there.

The night you saw him again, was no different to any other you spent enjoying a quiet drink before heading back to turn in for the night.

You had been in the process of leaving the cantina, recognizing that the later it grew, the rowdier and aggressive the clientele became. You could handle yourself as well as anyone who made their home in Hutt Space, but you knew better than to be blatantly reckless when you were on your own. It wasn’t like you had the squadron you stayed with throughout the Rebellion for backup as you once did, and your closest ally would probably break in half if you pushed him too hard. So no, you were not staying late with Mynocks newest resident of a Houk warlord and the company he seemed to attract.

The Houk in question was a cruel and belligerent brute, a former local warlord by the name of Gappo Teff. His reputation for inflicting punishment disproportionate to any slight committed against him or the Empire was one of the many echoes of the former imperial rule that was still being felt in the galaxy nearly three years after its collapse.

The stories of the chokehold he held over Sullust would make even a hardened soldier’s stomach churn. How he managed to escape the liberation of the planet without being dragged to the noxious surface of Sullust to suffer for the pain he had caused so many, was a mystery. But there he was, sitting like a king in the cantina you found yourself in, bellowing laughter ricocheting obnoxiously throughout the space, not a care in the world that he was a wanted felon.

It might have been to do with the fact that he was at least seven and a half foot tall, with a mass that could easily fit three of you side by side across him and still not be seen. It might have been to do with the cold, milky blue of his small eyes, sunk into a skull so large it could probably shatter ribs and rupture organs if one were to be headbutted with it. The last thing anyone wanted was those eyes focusing on them. It could have been the heavy artillery modified blaster he kept laying on his lap; the weapon more of a cannon for those of a more regular stature. Whatever the reason, very few bounty hunters and even fewer New Republic guards came to collect him. He was probably one of the most easily found quarries on all Guild registers and New Republic wanted lists and yet, he languished in Mynock as if the Empire had never fallen and his reign was still assured.

Making your way to the entrance, you came up short as someone walked in, your nose coming abruptly close to a reddish-brown durasteel chest-plate. Taking a step back, your eyes did a double take at the familiar unpainted beskar helmet. Subconsciously, you had stepped to the side, the Mandalorian continuing to walk without a word as if you hadn’t nearly walked into him. Mandalorians were a rare sight these days, so you could be forgiven for staring. Though, you were most likely staring for entirely different reasons compared to everyone else in the cantina.

The armor was the same, if not a bit more worn, as was the dark boiled woolen cape and pulse rifle strapped to his back. But it was the gait; how could someone walk both gracefully and arrogantly, almost cocky in his self-assurance that he was in control wherever he went. It explained why he was so determined not to let his injury be known by his walk the last time you saw him. Because you had seen him before, there was no doubt in your mind that this was the same irritable reek of a Mandalorian you met in Derelkann years ago.

He stood in the middle of the cantina, assessing the place as his helmet scanned the area. If you didn’t know any better, you say he was…

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me.” You muttered to yourself when the helmet stopped on Teff. When you said bounty hunters didn’t bother to come after him, you should have been more specific. Smart bounty hunters didn’t bother hunting Gappo Teff, which explained why the one you knew of was right there looking for him.

A choice lay before you. Leave now and lock your doors until morning… or wait. For what, you couldn’t be sure. But if the Mandalorian wasn’t killed tonight by Teff, he was going to wish he was with the injuries he would probably sustain.

You let your head fall back on your shoulders as you exhaled. Why were you so soft for lost causes and wayward souls?

The Houks bodyguards left much to be desired, crumbling to the ground before they had even drawn their blasters, smoke rising from the blaster wounds inflicted effortlessly by Din.

The bodyguards weren’t what worried Din. Their boss hardly needed protecting, and he wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

The groan and screech of the metal table being shoved away by Teff as he stood to his full height made Din grit his teeth, arms open as he boomed, “Ah Mando, I was wondering when you’d try your luck at me. Your reputation is becoming rather infamous throughout the parsec.”

A guttural, wet laugh left the purple skinned quarry as Din remained silent and kept his blaster aimed. Damn, but the piece of bantha crap was big. He quickly scanned his peripheral, but it seemed the residents of Mynock had more self-interest than to trade blaster fire over one warlord, the barkeep casually making his was into the backroom of the bar to keep out of harms way.

“Why don’t you hang up that Guild work and let me make you a better offer.” Teff boomed, taking a swing of his drink, streams of the yellow fluid running down the sides of him mouth as those frosty eyes stayed trained on the bounty hunter.

Din rolled his eyes behind his helmet; negotiations by the quarry were his least favorite reaction to being caught but he knew better than to think he had captured the colossal male yet. Until Teff was either dead or frozen in carbonite, he was a danger. Luckily, the orders were to bring him in dead or alive. Seems the New Republic were fed up with him still breathing. He couldn’t say he blamed them.

“No?” the Houk pushed when Din didn’t respond, “Too bad, you’d have made an excellent addition to my collection.” And with more speed than Din had anticipated from the large male, he charged.

You had the good sense to leave the cantina as soon as the first blaster shot was fired, pulling the hood of your dusty grey jacket over your head while you made your way back to the practice to gather a few things. Things that would be completely obsolete if he died but you wouldn’t think that far. You were a realist, not a pessimist. The Houk might have had the advantage of height and sheer strength, but the Mandalorian was quicker, possibly smarter, and decked with enough firepower to make a starfighter pilot drool.

So, you put the odds about sixty forty in favor of the Mandalorian. Not that you would ever tell him that.

Teff roared in anger as Din rolled out of the way again, shooting his grappling hook to latch onto the Houks shoulder and yanked hard enough to throw the male off balance. Despite his large size however, Teff was able to slide his foot back to catch himself, putting him in direct line with Din.

He was on his feet in no time as the Houk charged at him, lowering his head so that on contact, Din’s left shoulder was thrown back into the wall of the cantina. His breath left him as the impact winded him, a dull but growing pain throbbing from his shoulder before Teff’s vile breath permeated even his helmet and a large hand wrapped around Din’s throat. He could feel his feet leave the floor and the weight of his body pulling downward made the pressure on his windpipe all the heavier.

“Oh well, at least you tried.” Teff gloated, his head leaning closer as if to peer into the visor and that distraction was all Din needed to lift his hand and engage his flamethrower, engulfing the Houk in flames. Din gasped in a breath when he was dropped, the squeals of pain coming from Teff disconcerting as he staggered around the cantina, desperately looking for something to extinguish the inferno his clothing and more vulnerable tissue had become.

Din waited a few more measured breaths before lifting the blaster and shooting the quarry in the vulnerable side of the neck, satisfied with the resounding bang the body made as it fell to the ground, flames still burning bright until he picked up the half-drunk tankard on Teffs table to douse the fire lest he be completely unrecognizable upon delivery.

Din looked around, the cantina was empty; the silence suddenly deafening as he looked back down at the body.

Now, how to get him back to the Razor Crest.

Din sighed.

“We have to stop meeting like this.”

You held up your hands unsurprised when the Mandalorian spun on the ramp of his ship, blaster raised and aimed right at you. He tilted his head slightly, taking you in and you tried not to fidget under the gaze you could feel raking over you despite not being able to see his eyes. What you could see though, was how limp his left arm was hanging to his side.

“The demon medic from Klatooine.” He muttered, finally placing your face and lowering his blaster slowly while you lowered your arms.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You snorted before nodding to his arm, “And you’ll probably be calling me a lot worse when I tell you that that arm needs tending to.”

He shifted slightly, turning his body so you wouldn’t be able to see. You just crossed your arms across your chest and stared at him pointedly. He held your gaze and was still as a statue. You could play the silence game too if that was how he wanted to do this. It was only a matter of time before one of you broke and you weren’t the one with a dislocated shoulder, so you’d say that the odds were in your favor.

It seemed like time dragged on before, without saying anything, the Mandalorian sighed and turned towards the ship.

You bit down on a smile, but you could still feel it creeping upon your lips as you congratulated yourself on winning. Two nil, you tallied in your head, not bad girl.

The ship… well the ship was a fossil and that was being generous. But it was clean and obviously well taken of, if the tidy hull was anything to go by.

Apart from the charred corpse lying in the middle of course, but those were just details. Easily overlooked. The smell however… that was a different story, but you held back any comments. You still couldn’t fathom how he’d managed to drag a fully grown Houk through the town one-handed, but then you knew that the strength and discipline of the Mandalorians was unrivalled. He could have done it through sheer determination and honestly, you were lucky to have found him at all. But people in Mynock liked to talk, so following the rumors' had let you there relatively easy.

A sigh broke your train of thought, “Let’s get this over with.”

The warrior seemed resigned to his fate as he stepped over the corpse and you followed suit, mind instantly running through the correct procedure and treatment.

“We have to get the bone in the upper arm into the correct position before it slips back into joint, otherwise the force will just break your arm.” You explained as you moved to stand in front of the large warrior when he sat back on one of the many crates pushed against the wall of the ship. You could barely hear the short exhales coming from the modulator and you could only guess that he was holding back speaking, whether in pain or frustration that you had strong-armed him into accepting treatment again.

“But hey, look on the bright side.”

His visor tilted slightly to look at you.

“No droids needed.” You shrugged a shoulder and sent him a grin when he said nothing. When he looked away, you focused your attention back on the problem shoulder; it wasn’t immediately clear that it had been dislocated, the pauldron he wore hiding the jutting ball of the joint that was no doubt pressed uncomfortably against his flesh. What you could see was that his left side was hanging just a bit lower than his right, and the inability to move the arm was a dead giveaway.

“Are you just going to stare at it or actually do what you said you would when you barged onto my ship?” The rasp was closer to you as he turned his head, the rumble of his voice decidedly deeper than you remembered last time. Or perhaps it always had been, and you just hadn’t been paying enough attention, more focused on the very real threat of having a dead body on your hands as the poison spread. You rolled your eyes; or it was all the short and biting commands he only seemed to know how to give as opposed to actually speaking that made you forget the voice. The man could be attractive, if he wasn’t so frustrating.

“I can’t see it properly.” You replied, agitated with him again. He got under your skin too easily, and ruined your cool demeanor.

“You dealt with the problem just fine before.” He snapped back, pain making him cranky.

“You didn’t have a bone out of place last time!” You stopped yourself, sucking in a breath before releasing it to prevent yourself from snapping again.

“At least,” you bartered, “let me remove the pauldron. I can feel around the duraweave to get an idea. I won’t see any more of you than I did last time.”

He didn’t say anything again for a time and honestly, he was the slowest person you’d ever met at receiving emergency medical care. Half the men you treated during the Rebellion would yell until you’d taken care of the worst of their injuries before they even considered if it was what they wanted or not.

“Fine.” Was all he responded, making no move to remove the offending piece so you took that as your cue to feel around the curved metal cautiously, feeling where it attached to his duraweave and releasing it into your hands before placing it down on a separate crate.

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” A warning growl echoed in the hull, turning you back to your task with a hum.

It seemed the joint had popped forward, no doubt from caving in as Teff collided with Mando’s shoulder. You leaned forward, your fingers feeling around the area as gently as you could while his breathing came out a little shorter. You sent him an apologetic smile.

“I’m going to have to ask you to stay still, okay? Usually I’d have someone to hold—”

“I can keep myself still, just do it.” He snapped finally, turning to look at you before he looked away again. You said nothing more as you took his gloved hand in yours, turning the forearm over and feeling the hand clench in yours when he hissed.

“Shh, nearly there.” You soothed, moving your hand under his elbow to lift it so it was aligned with Mando’s shoulder. You stood, keeping the arm in place and twisting yourself to stand facing his side.

You were definitely out to get him. There was no other explanation for why he only seemed to be seriously injured in your presence. Din tried to tell himself he was being over-dramatic and irrational, that you hadn’t even been on the same planet when he was injured the first time, but then you opened your mouth and he felt justified in his petulant thoughts.

“On three.” He heard you warn and all he could offer was a single nod; the sooner he got this over with the better.

“One…” You jerked the arm forward and slipped the joint back into place quickly with a sickening crack and searing pain took his breath away before it began to ebb immediately.

“DANK…. FERRICK!” Din yelled as his good arm reached across to grip his left, bending forward as he breathed through the flash of pain. You moved out of his way, waiting for him to look back up at you through the helmet, deep pants making his chest heave. You cocked your head to the side when his eyes found yours, a clear question there.

He groaned as he sat back, leaning his head against the hull, “It… doesn’t hurt as much anymore.” He admitted, thinking that the smile you gave him was somewhat worth the knock to his ego at having to admit such a thing in the first place. And like last time, before he could even worry about the concerning direction that thought had led to, you were fluttering about opening crates and bins as if you owned the place.

“What the hell—” he made to stand indignantly.

“Do you have any spare cloth?” You interrupted, “Your arm needs to be bound for a few days. If you have bacta it might reduce the healing time a bit but honestly, I don’t think dislocations can be rushed despite recent studies. Rushing back to heavily lifting or activity for at least six weeks is a sure way to hurt yourself again.”

You were rambling now as you set a pile of disused yet clean cloth you found on your lap, sitting across from him as he just blinked at this enigma of a woman. Giving him orders in his own ship, were you daft?

Your eyes sharpened and shot to his and he was suddenly glad you couldn’t see behind his mask. His eyes had widened guiltily at the thought that you had read his mind.

“You will do what you’re told, understand Mando?” You warned as your fingers tied a loose sling from strips of cloth you’d pulled apart without even having to look at it, deft fingers looping the material and strengthening it with several more layers woven in for good measure.

“If you insist on getting injured so often, you live with the consequences. And the consequences are doing what you’re fucking told and being happy about it, got it? Sulk if you want, so long as you keep the arm bound and don’t take on any jobs for at least two months.”

He opened his mouth a few times at the audacity, did she have a death wish? He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had spoken to him as if he were no more than a child and it made his blood boil. But just as quickly as the anger arose, it simmered as she muttered while watching her fingers tie off the sling,

“You don’t actually seem like a bad guy, and the galaxy can’t afford to lose anymore… not bad guys.” She seemed unsure of giving out even this level of praise but then again, she only had their first encounter to go by.

He grunted; not sure how to respond. And when Din was uncomfortable, he resorted to silence.

You got to your feet once the sling was suitably strong enough to support the weight of his arm without unravelling or breaking and you indicated to him, “May I?”

He jerked his head up in affirmation and you maneuvered the sling to sit correctly under his elbow and forearm, coaxing him to lift it slightly with a tap before you looped the tied end over his helmet, adjusting the length slightly to fit against him.

“You left Klatooine.” the statement rose from the warrior, his tone quieter than you’d heard him all day. Was he... trying to make conversation? Din told himself that it was merely out of curiosity from seeing you by chance on two totally different planets.

Blinking in surprise, you sat back on the crate in front of him, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back on one of your hands, “New Republic stopped funding the clinic and I realized that they’re all the same when it comes to the Outer Rim.”

He snorted in agreement, honestly, he wasn’t surprised to hear the New Republic had cut their losses on charity. It wasn’t in their nature to funnel money away from the Core planets.

“But it’s not all bad,” you continued, “I work with a doctor here. He’s old now so he should be enjoying his retirement. I’m kept busy and…”

He watched you while he waited for you to finish, surely there was more? But when you just shrugged and sent him a tight smile, he felt an uncomfortable niggle at the back of his neck, a familiarity that made him almost want to smile back even if you couldn’t see it. Almost. But not quite. He was unnerved at the… empathy he had for your situation. He too just… kept busy. It wasn’t towards any end beyond supporting the covert and the foundlings there. But for himself, he just kept working towards some translucent, non-existent goal, one job ended, and another began.

Something in your eyes told him you were doing the exact same thing. It unnerved him to think about.

“Echoy’la…” the word left him without knowing and you blinked,

“Hm?”

He shook his head and stood, grunting a bit at the ache in his shoulder when it jostled a bit, “Nothing. It seems I owe you my thanks again, demon medic.”

“I do have a name you know.” You snorted, letting the previous topic go as it seemed to just make him more awkward and grumpy than he already was. You packed away the medikit and replaced the unused cloth back where you found it.

“Somehow I don’t think it’ll be as fitting.”

“Whatever, sunshine.” You looked over your shoulder at him, the sling looking so out of place as he hooked a thumb in the utility belt he wore. It was amazing that he could still look as intimidating as he did. You gathered your things and started down the ramp leisurely. He followed you silently until he was standing at the entrance to the ship.

“Demon or not… thank you.” He called out as your feet hit the dusty ground of Mynock once again. You looked back over your shoulder and gave a single wave, calling something back to him that did make him smile behind his helmet this time.

As you disappeared into the streets of Mynock, he tested the name you had thrown back to him, rolling the syllables, and testing the vowels as he repeated it to himself.

Pity, he thought. He hated being wrong about anything, but somehow, your name was a much better fit than demon medic.

Not that he would ever admit that to you, of course.

Taglist:

@geannad @ayamenimthiriel @sarahjkl82-blog

#the mandalorian fic #the mandalorian fanfic #din djarin fanfic #din djarin fic #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #mando x you #mando x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian #mando #din djarin #din djarin imagine #mando imagine #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fic

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littlemissnoname13 · 3 years

Text

I have always known- Part 2 (Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!Reader)

Summary: What happens when you find Draco Lucius Malfoy standing on a ledge at the Astronomy tower, ready to pitch himself off

Pairing: (Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!reader) HBP era

Warnings: Mentions of suicidal tendencies, self harm, angst, smut

Words: 1500+

A/n: Thank you to everyone who read part one from the bottom of my heart. It means so much to me! <3

If you haven’t already, you can read part one over here.

Draco let the revelations sink their way into his brain as he carefully and meticulously recalled that fateful day at the ledge once more.

He recalled how he’d sat alone, hugging his knees at the tower later that night after you’d convinced him to get down from the ledge.

His shirt sleeve—pushed up as he stared at the nasty looking snake and skull etched into his forearm all the while fighting a strong urge to gnaw at the flesh till the mark came off.

And just when he thought he’d cave into his urges, something fluttering,speckled in black and orange caught Draco’s eyes.

The paleness of the moonbeam made the Monarch butterfly seem almost iridescent and he held his breath watching it land gently on the palm of his hands.

“I should have known.” Draco finally shouted pacing back and forth in the room of requirement as he ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. “Of course it was you—How could I have not realised! I mean who else would even want to turn into a butterfly at will?!”

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked as you walked towards him—completely ignoring the fact that your shirt was still lying somewhere on the floor.

“The fucking butterfly tattoo, the whole the-world-is-full-of-goodness-and-sunshine attitude.” He scoffed. “Coincidence? I think not.”

“Draco—” you attempted to reach for his hand but he instantly pulled it away.

“Only you would be stupid enough to stick around a bloody death eater despite knowing.”

“Please just calm down—” You began reaching for him once again and he winced at your touch like it pained him as you gently grabbed onto his wrist.

“No.” He shook his head as he cut you off hastily. “Listen to me y/n, and listen to me carefully —You need to stay the fuck away from me.”

“Malfoy please. Just hear me out. I’m sorry for sneaking up on you that night. I shouldn’t have.”

You took a few mindful steps towards him.

He looked absolutely furious at first glance with his bloodshot eyes, heavy breathing and slightly flared nostrils. But when you observed him more carefully, you saw the helpless and vulnerable boy from the ledge again. Tucked away somewhere in the depths of this tired and sunken eyes.

Branded at such a young age.

Forced to give up his youth and any shard of innocence he had left inside of him.

While his friends may have been playing quidditch, getting into trouble and stressing out about their homework, here he was stressing out about the god damned cabinet like his life depended on it.

You felt a sharp stab at your heart when you remembered.

His life did depend on it.

“Please y/n. Just go away.” He pleaded with this voice cracking as you slowly wrapped your arms around his stiff torso and placed your head on this chest. “Don't make it harder than it already is.”

Draco was right.

This was wrong on so many levels.

You knew better than to melt into the arms of a death eater.

But you were already too fucking deep in.

You knew exactly what you were in for when you gave him a smile at potions class. You knew how grave the situation really was every time you walked towards the Slytherin common room with your book bag full of food you’d snuck out from the kitchens.

You knew full well that the task given to him was no child’s play.

Even though he’d barely said anything during your nights at the tower, you’d gotten to know him by the way his eyes widened when you kept blabbering about the most mundane details of your day.

You’d learned him and the way his brows furrowed in frustration while he spent hours on end trying to fix the vanishing cabinet. He was completely unaware of the fact that you constantly looked up from your book to steal quick a glance at him.

“Okay. I’ll go away.” You whispered pressing yourself impossibly close to him.

“Good.” He mumbled even though his slender arms found their way around your waist. He rested his chin to the top of your head and the smell of your smell of your shampoo comforted him.

Contradictory words and actions. Nobody did it better than Draco and Y/n.

You held onto the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards you until your lips were pressed against his. As your lips moved against his, you noticed that he had let his arms fall from your waist.

But before the waves of disappointment could hit you, Draco’s right hand made its way towards the base of your neck while he raked his left hand through your hair.

It would be an absolute understatement to say that he kissed you feverishly.

He may have told you to go away and you may have agreed but the way your lips moved together told a different story altogether. The way he lightly bit your bottom lip before hungrily exploring your mouth with his tongue gave everything away.

Draco Lucius Malfoy was a goner.

The passion and aggression in your kisses had you both tugging at each other's clothes- gasping for air.

It wasn't long before you found yourself pressed up against the wall again while your bra quickly got discarded.

“Stunning.” He breathed trying to commit every bit of your exposed skin to his memory.

He wasted little to no time covering the exposed bits of your skin with open-mouthed kisses. The already existing marks on your neck only darkened with each kiss as you let your fingers comb through this hair—gripping. Encouraging him to kiss you harder.

And when he placed his lips over your taut nipple, he had to remind himself to be gentle with you even though It was impossibly hard for him.

That wasn’t the only thing that was impossibly hard.

Especially when you whimpered and moaned his name over and over again.

You gently pushed his shirt back indicating that you wanted it off and while he hesitated for a brief second, the shirt was quickly discarded next to your bra on the floor.

He suckled and caressed your breasts and you dug your nails on his biceps arching your back, desperate for more.

His fingers skillfully touched you in places that made you blush as you kept moaning deliriously.

Over and over again.

Soon enough, you were lying on our back on the floor as he hovered on top of you, propped up against his elbows and you were seconds away from begging him to take you then and there.

“We don't have to do this if you don't want to y/n.” He said softly. His darkened grey eyes went back to their normal color and you could see the sincerity in his eyes while he asked you.

“I want you. Please. I just want you.” You pleaded bucking your hips as you caressed his face in reassurance.

“Fuck” he hissed as he slipped inside of you and you struggled to keep your eyes from rolling to the back of your head when he started to move. Slow and steady at first before he took you harder and faster.

You felt like the last days of summer in Draco’s arms as he took you.

The kind of day he desperately wanted to hold onto before an impending Autumn.

There was a cacophony of sounds in the room of requirement.

The sounds of skin against skin.

Your pants, and moans.

His grunts and curses.

Draco.

Only his name escaped your lips when you fell apart at his mercy. Waves upon waves of pure, unadulterated, leg spasming pleasure as you came.

Y/n.

And only our name rolled out of his tongue when he found his release inside of you. Glistening beads of sweat on his forehead and veins slightly visible on his neck.

When it was over, he conjured up a blanket and wrapped his arms around you, greedily scooping as much of you as he could into his embrace.

You felt his fingertips trace the outline of your butterfly tattoo before he placed his lips over it. Kissing it gently.

The gesture softened you just like you softened him but he wasn’t going to admit that. Not anytime soon anyway.

“Why butterfly y/n?” He whispered tracing shapes onto your bare skin. “Your tattoo, your animagus.”

“Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect Draco?” You asked, pushing his hair away from his eyes as he shook his head.

“They say that when a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it causes a storm elsewhere.”

He blinked his eyes at you in confusion and you gave him a small smile before placing a tiny kiss at the corner of his lips, continuing.

“Every small change counts Draco, a small change in the present can garner a completely different outcome in the future.”

He stared at you as you shook your head and mumbled “I just like to believe that our actions matter you know. I don’t know. I just—nevermind.”

You soon fell asleep in his sturdy, safe arms as he held onto you tightly staying up all night to savor the moment.

Little did you know, the butterfly effect stuck with him.

It stuck with him through the war and even after the war.

Just like you did.

The girl who kept him alive and kicking.

The girl with her butterfly tattoo.

~~~~~~

And that’s it. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Tagging those who wanted a part 2: @imbadwithunsernames @dumbassswhore @larywitchlingacademic @lainphotography ❤️

#harry potter #slytherin #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco smut

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