#i cried. i cried hard. Twice. I was in a discord call and it came over the bot not long after that and I cried so hard.

[spin-offsmirnoff]

Note: I listened to all of Frankenstein: A New Musical before my English class started, so these are the notes I posted in a Discord server I’m in :)

Enjoy (Apologies for the formatting, I dunno how to post stuff that isn’t art--)

"I am the innocent, I am the damned. The fount of illusion, the father of dreams." Hits SO FUCKING HARD "I can hear my name blackened by my crime. Haunting me and taunting as it echoes through all time!" FUCK /POS

 The leitmotifs in this musical make me CRY The way that Alphonse sings his leitmotif in a solo, and then at the very end, Victor echoes that melody while singing to his creation, begging for forgiveness, calling himself a "foolish father" And the fact that Victor echoes it once or twice while singing to someone he loves, just like his father sang it while talking about his pride and joy (Victor) GOD FUCKING DAMN

 The way that Elizabeth and Victor's vows are sung so desperately, and Victor sings about something dark in the future, fully believing he would die on his own wedding night, not realizing that it would be his wife who would die instead

 AND THE WAY IN "FIND YOUR WAY HOME" ELIZABETH SINGS "YOU'VE ALREADY MADE ME SO PROUD" AND VICTOR'S DYING MOTHER ECHOES IT IN THE BACK

 CRIES SO HARD

 And the fact that all of this started because his mother died before he started college

AND I wonder when Hollywood and other big-name studios will realize that the creation is fucking BEAUTIFUL. Like, Victor fully admitted that he would have adored his own creation if his eyes weren't so creepy because he used the best limbs and parts he could find as a victorian college student.

 "Life everlasting, reanimation, a flawless new design. The finest human in all creation, body, bone, and mind!" Victor loved his creation before it came to life!!! He was desperate!! He had worked hard on this project!!! He just didn't know it would actually work

Also, "Birth to My Creation" is the perfect song to describe Victor

 In "The Proposition", the way that Victor and the creature harmonize is so fucking pretty The guy who plays the creature has such an amazing voice and it fits the character so fucking good

 VICTOR CALLS HIS CREATION THE "BIRTH OF MAN'S SALVATION" He LOVED his creation before it came to life 

 The first song that Henry really has a part to play in is literally a song begging Victor to come home, praying that if he could stop the hands of time he would to save his dearest friend

And when the creature ends up giving himself a name because Victor didn't (he was scared shitless of his own work) and decides that he "ought to be thine Adam" AND WHEN WILLIAM (Victor's little brother) GETS MURDERED BY THE CREATURE, IT WAS ONLY MONTHS AFTER HE WAS BROUGHT TO LIFE

God, I fucking love this story/musical

 "The Waking Nightmare" is such a good song for the creature it shows his pain, his suffering, his outcasting and fear that Victor left him in that night "What have I done to deserve such a sentence in hell?! Born as a demon, a ghoul from a nightmare, yet one who still suffers and scars like a human as well. Now here I stand, a half of a man, wondering why I draw breath! I'm here in the waking nightmare and every moment tastes of death!" FUCK I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM

 "And I hear, like a ghost in my mind Echoes and fragments of memory, without word or a sound Was I alive once before? Was I once human like them? And could I again walk in the light and good graces of women and men?" He doesn't deserve this :(

 OH AND AND AND The way that the creature harmonizes with the blind man and Agatha is so fucking heartwrenching. He hears this man and his daughter singing to her baby, talking about how they will protect him with all their hearts, that their song will bring him peace, that they'll keep him safe and warm, and the creature so desperately wants that Being a newly made creature, cast away by his creator, he so desperately wants that safety he hadn't felt before

 And the ending notes of "The Music of Love" literally wouldn't sound right if the creature wasn't singing along with them, which makes it so much sadder when he reveals he accidentally killed the blind man

"What kind of monster kills a soul of kindness, by embracing it with love? Speak to me my only friend, do not abandon me. Don't leave me in this heartless world alone."

FUCK HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS

 And the way that he responds to everything with violence and death is literally a learned thing. He wouldn't do all this if Victor hadn't cast him away so violently. It's nurture, not nature

 V "Why did you do it? Kill a child?" 

C "Why did you leave me there to die?!" 

V "So full of promise, full of wonder." 

C "Have you forgotten so was I?!" 

I love how, in "The Proposition", Victor was so against creating another creature for his first creation to marry because he was so damn afraid of his own work and how much power it held. But at the end he gives in because he now believes that his family and those he loves will be left alone if he does this. The creature literally promises that he and his wife will disappear if Victor does this one thing for him. Ofc, Victor decides to kill her right after she comes to life, causing the creature to swear to be with Victor on his wedding night, which is why he believed he was going to die, leaving Elizabeth alone so she wouldn't have to witness his death (leaving her completely defenseless against the creature, who, she shows sympathy for and actually begs to help him, but he refuses and kills her instead)

 The fact that Henry knows Victor so well that, even after not seeing him for months, he knows exactly what's going on in his mind

They were such good friends :(

 "Do not delay Victor... You may be my creator, but I am your master - Obey." GOD DAMN

 The panic and desperation you can hear in Victor's voice compared to Henry's is so fucking hfenfeahfha And the way the creature isn't even phased, just calm and demanding, vaguely threatening the man making his wife

 God, I love how the creature has notes that go high up when he's upset and truly in pain Also

 V "You are the children of hell!" 

C "Your children as well!" 

V "You're a fiend!" 

C "That you made!" 

V "A mistake!" 

C "That you planned!" 

V "You must die!" 

C "It is you who will feel this icy hand!"

 The fact that even if he didn't really love Elizabeth like a wife, the grief he felt when he found her dead is heartwrenching

 And when the creature sings "These Hands" shows just how much he yearns for a different life, one where he is loved and cared for. He wonders if he, when he was a human, was loved and showed affection toward others

And "The Coming of the Dawn"???? IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD It shows just how much Victor has changed from the beginning of the musical. He finds how "a man is truly created", and that the new day only brings unknown promises, and that if he continues to live in his dreams, he will never live to his fullest and this is the song where you can really feel the way he's changed (you could kinda see in in "The Workings of the Heart" when he sang with Elizabeth) AND THE KEY CHANGE AT THE END IS SO FUCKING AMAZING It really shows the hope that Victor is finally grasping, the way he's yearning to find his creation to finally end things properly "Maybe with the coming of the dawn, there comes another day." Is just so :(

 And now it's "Amen (Reprise)" which is literally the first song that the creature and Victor sang together in the beginning of the show.

V "I cannot die, and nor can you." 

C "Our time has come." 

V "One final task remains." 

C "The game is done." 

V "Yes it's true, I've hunted you, but I've come not out of vengеnce but of shame. I have followed you, to seek your grace, to fall upon your mercy and accept the blame. Damn the man who does not give his all to help his son to live. Forgive this foolish father. I can hear my name blackened by my crime, haunting me and taunting as it echoes through all time!" 

C "What have I done? How can this be? How cruel the hand of fate to take two souls too blind to see and give them sight too late. Your peace has come, you'll search no more. Soon I shall follow where you go. Go to sleep, you're safe with me. May the darkness set us free"

 I'm broken

Alright, it's class time now, hope you enjoyed my ted talk :)

#frankenstein a new musical #victor frankenstein #adam frankenstein #frankensteins creature #frankenstein #more analysis #Cause I think you guys like my Owl House one-- #I love this musical/story so fucking much :( #Can you tell??

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Four. "You hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

warnings: swearing but that’s it (i think)! just karl being a goof and dream being a little shit but whats new word count: 3k (not ncluding pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

**********

.

Y/n  sat to Karl's left, out of the camera's view as he scrolled through Twitter on his PC.

"Um... oh, how did you guys meet?" Karl read before looking offscreen at Y/n. "Uh... school?"

"What? I was going to make up a funny story but I'm appalled by the seriousness in your voice! Is that really how you think we met?"

The embarrassment on his face answered her question. "Karl! I'm two years younger than you, how would we meet have met at school?"

"I don't know!" he said back defensively, raising his shoulders. "Clubs?"

"Like I was in any of the nerd clubs you were in."

"Well, then, how did we meet?"

Y/n sighed with a laugh. "Our moms–"

"Oh, wait wait, I remember!" he cut her off, excitedly looking towards Y/n. "Our moms are friends and they forced us to hang out." He smiled proudly and looked back to his screen as he continued scrolling for good questions. "If I'm honest, I only still hang out with you because my mom makes me."

Y/n smacked Karl's arm and he laughed but pretended to be hurt. "WHAT THE HONK, BUGSY?!"

"I can't stand you. I barely hit you, nimrod."

Karl giggled and read another one. "How tall is Bugsy? Two feet, four inches."

"No, I'm 7'6," Y/n lied easily and Karl laughed.

"How tall are you actually?"

'I think 5'10 or something? Maybe 5'11. I'm not 6' but I'm taller than you for sure, I know that much–"

"Okay, you are not taller than me. Just to be clear. Chat, Bugsy is not taller than me."

"Yes, I am. Wanna test it?"

"No," he replied quietly in defeat.

"Because you know I'm right," Y/n laughed as her eyes flicked over to read chat. They were spamming their surprise, expecting her to be short. "Yeah, no, chat, I'm tall. I'm taller than Karl."

"Only because your shoes make you tall! Doc Martens are tall and that's pretty much all you wear!"

"You're shorter than me when I'm barefoot!"

"That's literally false. Like completely."

"Just accept it, shorty."

"I'll accept that you're taller than George and Sapnap, but not me. I'm barely taller than you but I'm still taller."

"Whateverrrr. I'll move on to protect your dignity."

Karl ignored her and laughed, pointing to a message from Dream in Karl's chat.

"Dream said I have short girl energy," Y/n read.

"You kinda do."

"What does that even mean?"

"You're shy around new people and you act all sweet."

"So tall girls can't be shy and sweet? Or shy and sweet girls can't be tall?"

"Stop twisting my words," Karl groaned.

"Also, wait, what do you mean I act sweet? Am I not?"

"No, you are. But I mean you also aren't when you don't want to be. Upset Bugsy is scary Bugsy."

Y/n frowned, not recalling a time she's ever been angry or upset at Karl but she let him move on. He pointed to another tweet as he looked at Y/n, giving her an 'I told you so' look. She read it before shaking her head at him.

"Don't read that one."

"Pleeease, can I answer?"

"No!" she whisper-shouted. I don't want to be shipped with him for asking or you for answering, she mouthed so Karl's chat couldn't put together clues.

"Are you assuming I'll answer positively?" he teased, earning him a hard smack on the arm.

Y/n couldn't help but notice every time she put her hands in the frame, which was usually to hit Karl, half of the chat turned into simps requesting a hand pic because they could see her bracelets and nail polish and now that they knew she was tall they wanted to see how big her hands were. They really wanted every crumb of content they could have regarding her looks. She caught one that said something pretty kinky about her hands which she tried to scrub from her mind immediately.

"Fine," Karl sighed at her request to not read Dream's tweet out loud, instead reading another. "Bestie sleepover? Yes! Bestie sleepover! Bugsy and I are gonna cuddle all night--"

"No, we aren't. I'm sleeping on a completely different bed. Or couch. Nowhere near you."

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?"

"Karl! Stop trying to get me to cuddle with you!" Y/n laughed as she pushed away his arms, which were trying to give her a hug. "You're a freaking heater and I don't like touching people!"

"That's my worst nightmare in a friend, how did I end up with you?"

"No idea. Deal with it. It's still a bestie sleepover even if we don't cuddle."

Karl giggled and looked back at his stream. "Oh, by the way, in case anyone ever wanted to know or was Dreaming about it, Bugsy is very cute. Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone was wondering or if anyone tweeted specifically asking..."

Y/n smacked his arm again as she yelled, "Karl!"

He grabbed his arm in dramatic pain as if it had been cut off. "Ow! Ow! Bugsy hit me!" he cried as he fell to the floor. "Oh my gosh. Someone call a doctor!"

"I cannot stand you," Y/n  informed as she stared down at him. She glanced at chat, who were all joking about how bad his condition was, saying things like they might have to amputate his arm. "Chat, don't encourage him. Oh, Karl I know what we can do!"

"As long as I don't need two arms for it..." his voice still laced with fake pain.

"Karl Jacobs."

"What is it?"

"Give me a tour of Dream's SMP. Dream whitelisted me yesterday."

"Oh, yeah! What could have possibly made you think of him?" he teased as he got back in his chair.

Y/n glared at him and he cowered slightly.

"Minecraft, yes. There's a PC in the other room you can play on. Do you need help setting it up?"

"No, I've streamed once or twice," Y/n teased as she stood up.

"I'm just trying to be a good host! Gosh!"

"Wait, I have to cross over to leave the room."

"Just do it? What's the issue? Literally no problem, just walk?" he joked before zooming in his camera on his face so it took up the whole screen. Y/n laughed as she went across the room, chat now forced to look at disturbingly close footage of Karl staring directly into the camera with his eyes crossed.

Y/n called Karl on Discord after logging in. "Hi, Karl and Karl's stream."

"Are you on yet?"

"I'm logging in to my Minecraft account right now."

"Okay, join a vc on the smp discord so others can talk to us if we run into anyone. I'll be over in a minute, just give me a bit to read some donations." They both muted, leaving Y/n to herself.

She typed in the IP address to the server and joined a random voice channel that no one was in. She spawned and looked around, confused by the cobblestone wall around her. Her phone lit up so she occupied herself with the texts from Naomi.

A green figure caught her eye on the screen and she looked up. In the distance was Dream's infamous green Minecraft skin punching the air as he faced her. He ran towards her and stopped in front of her. She set her phone down and slid it away, crouching as his character did the same.

Dream whispers to you: are you streaming you whisper to Dream: no but Karl is and he's about to get on to tour me Dream whispers to you: hmmm okay here

He uncrouched and dropped a few diamond blocks before punching the air again and running away.

Dream whispers to you: shh don’t tell anyone you whisper to Dream: omg :D ty <3 you whisper to Dream: first twitch donos now mc donos you whisper to Dream: rich man over here giving out money and diamonds to everyone like it's candy Dream whispers to you: no, only to you Dream whispers to you: a little gift before our date ;) Dream whispers to you: oh and this

He came back and paused in front of Y/n before dropping a red poppy and sprinting away again. She acted cool despite the huge smile on her face.

you whisper to Dream: charming you whisper to Dream: you give me a flower and dart away before I can properly thank you Dream whispers to you: oh yeah? how would you have thanked me?

Y/n smiled, her cheeks flaming up as a dirty thought entered her mind. Stop, he's not flirting, she told herself. It’s literally a block game and he’s not flirting.

you whisper to Dream: guess we'll never know ;) KarlJacobs joined the game

"I'm back," Karl's voice filled her headset as he joined her voice channel, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Where are you?"

Y/n looked away from the chat in Minecraft and turned around in the game. "Still at spawn. Some forest and cobblestone walls."

"Go left and I'll meet you halfway."

As she ran, the Minecraft chat reappeared with new messages for everyone to see.

<Dream> hey Karl <KarlJacobs> hello Dream <Dream> thanks for answering my question on your stream <KarlJacobs> just doing my civil duty as a bugsy dream shipper <KarlJacobs> official petition for the name to be dreamsy <Dream> signed

"Oh my gosh," Y/n muttered, making Karl laugh.

"What?" Karl asked innocently, but his laugh was maniacal. "Oh, I found you. This way! I built everything on the server, by the way. So if anything is impressive, just remember that I did it."

"Karl, that's the biggest lie you've ever told me. I watch the lore videos."

"Well, I did build it all so I don't know what to tell you. Let's go this way first."

Y/n followed as he showed her stuff, including background and unknown facts about things that have happened off stream. After the tour, they messed around the chessboard. At some point, she found a blue cornflower and turned to Karl.

"Do you have an anvil?"

"I don't exactly have one on me at the moment but I think there's one over here. What for?"

She killed some chickens with her fist to gain XP so she could carry out the task in mind. "I need to name this flower I found." She followed him a few blocks away and clicked the anvil and named the flower 'love, bug'. "Okay, thanks."

"Why did you name it?"

"It's a gift for someone."

"Me?" he asked as his character jumped up and down.

"No. My presence is your gift."

"Ouch. You know, honestly, I'm really hurt by that. Like, why would you say that to me? It's just sorta rude."

"Fine, I'll go get you a flower."

"Well, I don't want it if it isn't sincere. Who's that one for?"

"...no one."

"Tell me or I'll keep complaining about not getting a gift."

"I can deal with that."

"Okay, then tell me or I'll make you sleep in my bed and I'll smother you to death with my affection."

"Ah, okay, fine. It's for Dream."

"Wow you really hate me that much!" Karl laughed.

"No, I'm just not touchy like you!" she defended. She always worried she offended Karl since he was so physically affectionate towards his friends but she just wasn't a physical person.

"Oh, speaking of Dream..." he turned and Y/n followed his characters line of sight, having to zoom in to see the green figure perched at the top of a tree.

"He's very menacing."

"He does that."

<Bugsy> come here pls dream <Bugsy> i have a gift :]

Dream ran towards Y/n and stopped in front of her expectedly. She looked at Karl then back at Dream and dropped the gift, backing up after and crouching.

His character picked it up and held it, pausing to read the name. After a moment, he slowly looked up at Y/n's character before jumping and spinning in circles. Y/n hid her smile in her sleeve even though no one could see her.

<Dream> wait lemme see the one I gave you <Bugsy> what D: <Dream> I wanna name it

"What is going on?" Karl giggled.

"Gift exchange. Mind your own business."

"Woah!" Karl gasped dramatically. "Uncalled for."

Dream came back and dropped the renamed flower for her. Y/n picked it up and hovered over it to read the name.

'host, dream'

She gasped and started punching his character. He backed up and ran away but joined the call seconds later.

"Wait! Stop hitting me!" Dream yelled into her headset.

Y/n laughed, trying to contain her smile as she continued to hit the green character. "Dream! Are you kidding? I tried being all cute and you hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

"It was a joke! You said something like that to Wilbur on Twitter a while ago, I was just using your humor!" Dream's giggles filled Y/n's headphones and she smiled but quickly dropped it so her voice could sound serious.

"Give it back."

Dream looked at her before letting out a small, "What?"

"Give me back the flower so I can go burn it with the other one."

"Bugsy!"

"What is going on?" Karl asked through a cackle. "Dream, did you hurt Bugsy??"

"Yes, Karl! He hurt my feelings! He gave me a flower and gave it back to name it something mean!"

Dream just laughed so Y/n punched him again.

"Dream! You can't hurt Bugsy!" Karl defended, also punching Dream.

All Y/n could hear was the sound of Dream wheezing, his character running as the two chased him. "Stop! You guys are so– STOP HITTING ME!"

"Fine," Y/n finally said, crouching and facing the ground as she walked into a corner to look like she was pouting. "I'm just not going to go on any Minecraft dates anymore."

"Wait, no," Dream protested in a soft voice, his character stopping to look at her's. "Take that back."

"Heart been broke so many times..."

"You're so stupid."

Karl gasped happily. "You guys have a Minecraft date? Can I help plan it?!"

"We did. In exchange for letting you give me the tour. But I've changed my mind since I've been so betrayed."

"Oh my gosh, you're so..." Dream trailed off but his wide smile could be heard through his voice.

"So what? Finish that sentence, Dream," Y/n dared teasingly.

"So... ANNOYING!"

"DREAM! SAY YOU'RE SORRY!" Karl yelled.

"Okay! I'm sorry! Bug, I'm so sorry. Really. Please let me... let me rename your flower something cute. It'll make you so happy that you'll fall in love with me all over again and–and we can go on our date. Please don't burn our flowers."

"And what if I don't give them to you?"

"I'll just kill you and pick them off your corpse."

"Woooooowwww. Okay, it's like that?"

"Yes, it is like that," he said through a smile. It was so apparent in his voice that he was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.

<Ranboo> how is the tour going Bugsy was shot by Dream using DEFINITELY NOT PENIS <Ranboo> ah going well I see

Bugsy screamed in her mic as the death screen appeared. "DREAM!"

"You took too long!" He wheezed as Bugsy respawned.

"I don't know where I am!"

"Hold on, I'll avenge you!" Karl declared before he died too.

"You thought you could kill me with your fists? Karl, you're naked and I'm wearing full Netherite."

"You weren't when I started punching you! You pulled that out of thin air!"

<Ranboo> canon

Y/n smiled at Ranboo's comment. She had never talked to him but she knew he and Tubbo were close friends and he seemed really funny. He had already proved he had a dry sense of humor in the 30 minutes she was on the SMP and she loved that. Y/n made a mental note to befriend him before returning to being drama queen to Dream.

"So, Dream, now that you've made me an enemy–"

"WhAT? We are not enemies, Bug. I'm actually naming a flower something really cute as we speak. Enemies don't do that."

"Maybe I'm not your enemy but you sure are mine."

"Oh come on now," he mumbled lowly, running chills down her spine. What the hell was that?? "What do I have to do to make it up to you?"

"You-you murdered me in cold blood. Nothing will make it up."

"So I could get the flower! It was out of love! So I could give you a better present! Does that count for nothing?"

"Hm," she hummed. "We'll see what new name you come up with and then I'll decide."

Karl and Y/n got back to the chessboard and waited for Dream to return with his new flower.

Breaking character and turning towards her best friend, Y/n laughed at Karl. "Sorry for distracting from our BFF shenanigans time."

"This is way more entertaining," Karl assured. "Me and my chat got front row seats to the Dreamsy love saga."

"Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him in-game.

"OW! STOP PUNCHING ME SO MUCH!"

"Okay, okay, I'm back!!" Dream announced and they saw his figure sprinting and jumping towards them. He dropped the flower for Y/n and stepped back, crouching and standing repeatedly.

Y/n picked up the flower and hovered over it to read the name.

"Is it worthy of your forgiveness, Bugsy? Does it pass the vibe check?" Karl asked with a giggle.

Y/n bit her lip as she smiled at her screen.

to the prettiest girl in the world. love, dream <3

It was a joke, obviously. He was just continuing the joke of flirting with her like he does on Twitter just like Sapnap and Karl and George and Quackity do. They all joke about flirting with her and this was another joke.

But it still gave her tummy butterflies.

"Bug?" Dream called softly.

But why would he joke like that when neither of them were streaming? Karl's chat wouldn't see it so there was no one to point in feeding into the joke, unless he meant for Y/n to show Karl? She was overthinking. She needed to play it cool. 

She also needed an enderchest so no one could find it and no one could take it away from her and destroy it but they didn’t need to know she liked it that much.

"Mmm.... it'll do."

**********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

**********

A/N: yeeee hope you guys liked this one! i think this is my favorite so far i just think dream was being too cute and i wanna be best friends with karl so much it hurts. we’re gonna get deeper into the dream relationship soon!! i just needed to indugle in bff karl content real quick!!!

taglist: open (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb​ @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn​ @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot​ @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman

#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x y/n #social media fic #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #smau #mcty x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #dream fanfiction #dreamwastaken fanfiction

[svtkillua]

little lion man > 4 (final)

rating: [pg-13 / angst]  pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader x todoroki shouto warnings: cursing, lots of yummy angst >:)) word count: 3k

 listen while you read here!

join the discord!

ch.1 + ch.2 + ch.3 + ch.4 (final) + alt. ending

It was terrifying how much could change in a year. To think that just a few short weeks could change everything about you was daunting, but true. When you had left life felt like torture, like everywhere you looked there was something waiting to mock you. You were broken, your heart all but ashes when you boarded the first flight away, but you knew it was what you needed to do. You needed time away from it all to figure out what you wanted, to figure out who you were without all of the things you’d grown so used to. It was hard, leaving it all behind, like you just gave away a piece of yourself with no plans of ever getting it back.

Loving Bakugou Katsuki was hard, but letting that love go, was harder.

The first month you’d spent crying in the hole in the wall apartment you’d rented far away from all your problems and people you knew. You were constantly in the shabby bed, eyes bloodshot and nose stopped up. You’d find yourself looking through photos of Bakugou online, like a bizarre form of torture designed to make you feel worse. Every time you looked at them the tug in your chest was stronger, the pain too fresh in your mind to process anything else. You spoke to next to no one, only telling Todoroki where you were and your family. Bakugou had tried to call once or twice, but you didn’t answer. You’d just listened to the voicemails filled with apologies and constant mumbles about how much he missed you.

The second month was spent filled with anger and resentment at Bakugou for letting his own confusion hurt you and Camie. You were angry at Kaminari for not telling you what he knew sooner, for not trying to talk some sense into your best friend. You were angry at Bakugou for never quite putting your emotions first, only thinking of himself and what he wanted. You were angry at him for not realizing he’d been hurting you so badly to the point that everything felt like pain. Angry with him for not telling you sooner how he felt, and angry at yourself for the exact same reasons.

The anger made you crazy, useless things being tossed at walls and smashing when you drank a bit too much. The pictures of him on your phone had started making your blood boil rather than making your mood plummet, so you stopped looking. It had all been coming out, the pain, the frustration, all the pent up emotions that were once locked away for so long. It felt good, it felt liberating, it felt like you were starting to be okay again without the pain clogging up your pores.

The third month was spent starting to like yourself again. You were learning that you were special and worthy of love, that you were worth working on. You started tutoring kids in piano to make some extra cash, earning a short internship at a production company to help work on songs. You started to eat better and cry less and the pain in your chest was slowly reducing away. Todoroki had come to see you, he’d brought flowers that sat on your coffee table till all the petals fell off.

Bakugou had called you, and that time you answered. The conversation wasn’t long, his voice was quiet like he was scared of making you upset. He apologized for all the pain he’d caused you, and hearing his voice made your heart soar, even if just for a few moments. You still loved him, three months later you did, it was easier to with the pain not so fresh in your mind and the things reminding you of it miles away. You forgave him, for all of it, desperate to not feel the pull of that baggage on your limbs anymore.

The fourth month was when your family forwarded you the invitation to Bakugou’s wedding.

The tiny envelope covered in a delicate pink rose design made you feel like you were back in month one, broken, full of tears, lost. It hurt to see he’d made his choice and it wasn’t you, but somewhere in the depths of your mind you knew it was what was best. You loved him, you would always love him. You would always love how his eyes wrinkled up when he laughed and how loud and boisterous he got when he was happy. You’d always love how warm he felt when he hugged you and you would always remember the feeling of his lips whispering I love you into your ear.

You would always think of him when you made his favorite cookies and could smell them in the oven. You would always think of him when you heard his favorite song fluttering over the speakers of your radio. You’d always be remembered of how deeply your love for him had dug inside you and left a hole so big it almost ruined you.

You were both victims of your fear, too scared to take that step when you should have. It was too late to give it a try because his heart had moved on. He’d never truly loved you how he loved Camie, and while it broke you, it was the punch in your gut that made the decision final in your mind. It was the last push to make you let go of the bit of his heart you were so desperately clinging onto. Bakugou wasn’t yours, and he never would be, as badly as you had wanted him to.

Month five was when you decided that Bakugou Katsuki didn’t own your heart anymore. It was when you decided you weren’t going to cry over him, not ever again. He broke your heart and you broke his, and that would always be something you carried with you. The tears weren’t going to be, however, you refused. Todoroki invited you to be his date to the wedding, but you turned him down. You weren’t ready and he understood. He showed up the night after the event and you baked a cake together. His gentle voice and stone faced jokes kept your mind from self combusting and for that you were thankful.

During month six you kept yourself so busy with the work at your internship and the tutoring lessons that you found yourself barely thinking of Bakugou. You’d feel the smallest twinge of pain when you saw his face on your tv screen, being applauded for saving innocent people, but it didn’t hurt as bad. You talked to Todoroki every night on the phone, him telling you all about the new puppy he had gotten and laughing when you suggested stupid names for it.

When he’d offered to send you pictures from the wedding, you said yes. It hadn’t hurt as much as you expected to see him all dressed up beside Camie in a dazzling white dress. She looked gorgeous, and he looked so happy beside her. That ring you found in his dresser drawer that had felt like the end of the world still perched on her finger, a perfect golden band to match it on Bakugou’s. The pain was still simmering in your stomach, but the bitterness was fading. You had found yourself showing the smallest smile at the photo, and sent Bakugou a small message of congratulations. Camie thanked you when you sent her the recipe for his favorite cookies, and it felt like a peace offering. Like you were closing a chapter on a sad book you didn’t want to reread.

You didn’t ever really hate Camie, you envied her for everything she had you didn’t, but being away made you realize how stupid that had been. At the end of the day she just fell in love with Bakugou for the same reason you had, because he was so incredibly him that you just couldn’t help it. She loved him, and you knew if you weren’t going to have him be the one for you, you were glad that someone who cared for him truly, would.

By month seven, Bakugou was speaking to you more regularly again, the best friend who’d been so scared of losing you had been making an effort not to. Your heart wasn’t sore in your chest anymore, you hadn’t cried in two months and the smiles on your face were slowly becoming normal again. Todoroki came to see you more often, always bringing little gifts and snacks and flowers to decorate the shabby apartment with. He even brought the puppy over he wouldn’t let you name, but insisted you’d name the next one together.

He’d asked you out on a date that month.

And you said yes.

Months eight and nine were filled with phone calls from Todoroki and feelings of your heart starting to beat again how it used to. You were feeling like you again, but a better version. A version of you that knew life was too short to be scared, too short to let your last experience of love ruin it for you forever. You refused to make that same mistake a second time. So when Todoroki gave you his favorite sweater to keep and told you how beautiful you looked in it, you kissed him and asked to be his girlfriend.

And with the faintest blush, he said yes.

Month ten was spent finding a new apartment back in the city.  Back where you’d run away from, but when you returned the troubles weren’t so bad. You no longer felt disheartened when you saw all the places your old memories were, because your heart felt like it was healed. Were there still bandages covering the cracks in it? Of course, but they made you who you were, and Todoroki had all but paint them with red so they were hardly noticeable anymore.

During month eleven you moved in and got a full time job producing, the kind of job you’d always dreamt of having, but never thought you’d reach. Bakugou and you had lunch every Thursday afternoon, and after the first ten minutes the awkwardness had melted away. Loving him hadn’t been a mistake.  It was something you didn’t regret anymore, because it had changed you, forever. It changed you in a way you’d never reverse back, a way that moulded a part of you into permanence.

Which brought you to now, month twelve, where you were sat in front of your vanity in a silky black dress, your eyes boring into your reflection and taking in the little differences from where you were a year before. Your hair was longer, your eyes were brighter, and your smile didn’t looked as strained. Your room was new and no longer was your place to cry, but instead the place you watched movies with your boyfriend and stayed up late into the night talking about everything and nothing. There were days still when you didn’t feel confident but they were coming less and less often, and you were thankful for it.

“You okay?”

Todoroki’s voice made your eyes flutter up from where they’d been staring off into nothingness, his approaching figure visible in the mirror’s reflection. He looked handsome in his dress shirt and pants, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a skinny tie around his neck, undone.

“Yeah, just thinking.” You smiled up at him, swiveling around on your stool and looking up at him, your toes wiggling against the carpet under your dress. They were painted a light orange color you’d talked Todoroki into letting you paint on his thumb nail.

“About what?”

“Life.” You laughed, rising to your feet and stepping closer to him. Your fingers grabbed onto his tie, staring at it while he stared at you. You tied it effortlessly, patting his chest once it was finished and letting your eyes focus up on his, “About how much can change so fast.”

“That sounds ominous.” He said, his face stoic as usual as his hand lifted up, pushing your hair away from your face. “Not planning on leaving me are you?”

“Of course not, don’t be silly.” You laughed quietly, arms slipping around his shoulders, his arms finding their way around your middle. He held you in a way that felt secure, like he wouldn’t let anything in the world ever hurt you again. “I have to keep you around at least a few months.”

The grin on your face made him roll his eyes, your bursting out laughter making him crack a smile himself, his hand reaching up to flick your bunched up cheek. It felt dream like, having him holding you, having someone you had feelings for have them back.

“We should get going or we’re going to be late.” His voice was laced with a smile as he let you go, reaching past you to grab his keys off the dresser while you whined.

“But I don’t wanna go. Can’t we just stay here and watch movies? I’ll even cook dinner.” You pouted at him, grabbing onto his arm like a toddler who wasn’t getting their way. He didn’t miss a beat, his arm pulling from your grasp and smoothly skimming around your waist as he tugged you from the room.

“You can’t not go to your own birthday dinner.”

You grumbled at his logic, body relaxing against his side as he led you over to the couch. You leaned your backside into the back of it, watching as he disappeared to the front door for a moment, before reappearing with your heels. He easily bent down onto his knee in front of you, grabbing your ankle and slipping on your shoe for you, face even and relaxed.

The flutters in your stomach seeing him knelt down on one knee felt so different than they had when you saw Bakugou do the very same thing. When Bakugou had done it, it felt like the most painful moment of your entire life, but seeing Todoroki in the same position, even if it was for a different reason, made your lips raise up on the ends with the possibilities of the future.

He wasn’t your second choice, he wasn’t your backup since Bakugou hadn’t worked out, and you made sure he knew that. Bakugou was tsunami that had hit you all at once and washed away any sense of sanity. The love all consuming and dangerous to the point you felt like you couldn’t breathe right anymore. With Todoroki it was different. It was like a warm fire spreading through your limbs, like a cool breeze filling your senses every time he slid his hand in yours. Your feelings for him grew like a sunflower towering over everything else in the garden, and he was the one coming to water and care for it every day. He felt secure, he felt content, he felt right.

You weren’t in love with him, not yet, and you still harbored fear at idea of giving yourself like that to someone ever again. But Todoroki didn’t rush you, he never pressured you now, just like he never had before. He knew that though you were put back together, parts of you were still fragile, and he wasn’t intending on letting them get broken ever again.

Not while he was around.

“What’s with that look?”

“What look?”

“The one on your face right now.” Todoroki quipped, his body moving to stand upright in front of you again, fingers brushing your hips as he pulled you forward. His left hand moved more firmly to grip your hip, muscles flexing beneath the thin dress shirt’s fabric. His right hand raised and rested against the side of your neck, thumb brushing along your jaw as you tilted your head back to look up at him properly.

“I’m just happy.” You said quietly, smiling up at him as a faint, wistful smile spread on his own plump lips. Your body pressed into his, palms resting on his chest and memorizing the rhythm of his heartbeat. “Thank you.”

His neck craned down, forehead pressing into yours as his lips ghosted against yours before he spoke again.

“For what?”

“For being patient and not giving up on me.”

His smile was faint as he leaned in and pressed a firm kiss against your lips. It was gentle and soft but so full of emotions you didn’t understand completely yet. He was everywhere you looked but when you saw him it filled you with calm instead of sadness. You could feel him in your veins but he was spreading joy through them. He was in your brain sorting out and discarding all the bad thoughts and feelings you’d ever felt. He was in your lungs breathing oxygen into your system, and in your chest building a safety net beneath your heart to capture any chipped off pieces and put them back in place.

You wanted to memorize everything about him, from the way his cheeks bunched up and looked so full when he smiled, to the way he always watched you when you were getting ready in the morning. You never wanted to forget how good his arms felt around you or how quickly he could make your heart beat. He was pulling away the insecurities you had built up a year ago and replacing them with love, a love that though scary, was blooming in your chest more and more each passing day.

It was terrifying, giving yourself over to someone when the last time you’d tried it ended so horribly and damaged you so much. Bakugou would always be your first love even if you never got to experience it how you’d dreamed of. Maybe you’d always feel him in your chest when you smelled his cologne and maybe you’d always care if he was happy, but your heart didn’t belong to him anymore. It belonged to you, and you were slowly beginning to give away pieces to the boy holding you in his arms.

The way his lips moved to press into yours once more had your eyes fluttering shut, his lips then travelling up to your nose, then between your eyebrows, before finally landing on your forehead, lingering there for a moment. Your eyes remained closed as you exhaled a content sigh, letting yourself feel him in every part of you as he whispered into your skin.

“You were worth waiting for.”

And you believed him.

----------------------------------------------

taglist: @bnhatrashh​ @icyhotpie​ @domtamaki​ @daphnxy​ @yamichxnwrites​ @hokage-state-of-mind​ @pizzaa05​ @whatevenisthiswhatt​ @justmylostdreams​ @bestgirlbeth​ @aria-bnha​ @the-wiener-soldierrrrr @sugarandsoft​ @overallweeb​ @chanultis​ @simply-not-the-same​ @andrastesbeard​ @bozowrites​ @criesinreid​ @ccoommpplleexx @tiredandkindaoverworked​ @buenasjovenes​

#bakugou x reader #todoroki x reader #katsuki #bakugou #shouto #todoroki #todoroki angst #todoroki smut #todoroki fluff #bakugou smut #bakugou fluff #bakugou angst #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugou katsuki #todoroki shouto

[wistfulcynic]

The Meet-Cute, Part One

In which Ruby decides that what Emma’s love life needs is a good old-fashioned meet-cute, and sets about arranging one for her. Or two, or three, or six...whatever, she’ll set up however many it takes for her friend to meet The One. But it may turn out that Emma doesn’t need any help finding The One after all...

Rating: T Words: 5.2k (first chapter)

On AO3

-

LOOK @optomisticgirl I WROTE THE THING.

Also, @ohmightydevviepuu, @shireness-says, and @distant-rose you are complicit in the writing of the thing.

-

PART ONE:

“What you need, Emma Swan, is a meet-cute.”

Emma swallowed a sigh but couldn’t hold back the accompanying eye-roll. “I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing I need.”

“No, hear me out,” Ruby insisted, her eyes alight with excitement. “This is actually perfect for you.”

Emma let the sigh go this time, reminding herself firmly that Ruby was her best friend and had been for years.

“All right,” she said. “Tell me why I need a meet-cute.”

“Yesssss,” said Ruby. “Okay, listen. There’s nobody at work you’re interested in dating, right?”

“My co-worker is literally my brother.”

“Yeah that’s kind of what I meant. Most people meet their future spouses at work—”

“That’s not a real statistic.”

“—but—yes, it is real—but there’s no one at work for you and that’s not likely to change, so you have to look elsewhere. Now, the next most common place to meet someone is where you live—

“Seriously, you’re just making this stuff up.”

“—but there’s no one for you there, either,” Ruby pressed on, ignoring her. “No cute guys across the hall—“

“No straight ones anyway.”

“—and seeing as you are for some strange reason dead-set against online dating—”

“I absolutely am.” Emma shuddered at the hideous thought.

“—which actually does work, by the way.”

“It doesn’t. You and Mulan are just outliers.”

“Look, Emma, don’t knock the matchmaking power of Good Omens Discord chats until you try them.”

“Yeah, no thanks.”

“Well then,” Ruby declared, in a voice that suggested she thought she’d won the argument. “That leaves you with no option but the meet-cute.”

“Really, that’s my only option?”

“Just think about it, Emma.” Ruby’s eyes grew dreamy. “Adorable mix-ups in coffee shops… picking up the wrong leash at the dog park…”

“I don’t have a dog.”

“…you both reach for the last croissant…”

“Where am I going to find a croissant in Storybrooke?”

“The last bear claw then, the pastry is really beside the point.”

“And what is the point?”

“The point is that you meet someone and it’s fucking cute, okay? And then you fall in love and live happily ever after.”

“Or I could just, you know, go on as I am, not meeting anyone.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, woman,” said Ruby sternly. “Do you want to live the rest of your life alone?”

Emma shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing.” Better than being stuck with someone she didn’t love, just for some dumb reason like—

“Do you want Henry to grow up without a father?”  

—like giving her son a decent man in his life.

“Henry has a father,” she reminded Ruby. One he hadn’t seen for the best part of a year, but still.  

“Do you want Henry to grow up without a father figure who isn’t a massive douche?” amended Ruby. Emma sighed again.

“Neal does the best he can,” she insisted.

Ruby snorted. “Sure he does.”

“He does, really. He’s just… not cut out to be a parent.”

“Well, that’s for sure.”

But Emma didn’t blame Neal for being a shit dad, though she knew her friends and family did. It wasn’t his fault it was hers, for stupidly falling for and getting knocked up by a guy whose ‘best’ was showing up once or twice a year to shower Henry with presents and promises before disappearing again without a word a few weeks later. At first it had broken both their hearts—Henry’s from disappointment and Emma’s from anger and guilt over his disappointment—but Henry was twelve now and starting to learn that the parents he adored were human and flawed, and to adjust his expectations accordingly. Emma had to admit that it was a relief not to have to cover Neal’s ass anymore by trying to make excuses for him, however deeply she regretted Henry’s loss of innocence.

And yeah, it would be nice not to have to raise her kid alone. Neal got to be the fun parent, buying Henry all the stuff she couldn’t afford and taking him on trips to exciting places, leaving Emma to enforce bedtimes and check homework and try to make Henry eat the vegetables she herself hated. Having someone else around, a real adult she could rely on to share those responsibilities with her, that would be good. Great, really. Wonderful, in fact. But dating was hard enough without having to start it off by explaining that even though you yourself weren’t yet thirty you came in a two-for-one deal with a near-teenager, and Emma had had far too many first dates end early and awkwardly to hold out much hope that she would ever meet the man of her dreams, be it cute or any other way.

“I appreciate the thought, Rubes, I really do,” she said. “But I’m just not looking for anyone right now.”

“But don’t you see?” Ruby cried. “That’s the best time to meet someone—when you’re not looking.”

Emma threw up her hands. “You are impossible and I’m not talking about this with you anymore. I’ve got to get back to work anyway.”

“All right.” Ruby shrugged and let the subject drop, but the glint that still remained in her eye warned Emma that this wasn’t over—not by a long shot.

—

Before she returned to work after her lunch with Ruby, Emma stopped by the library. Belle wasn’t at her usual spot behind the desk so Emma ventured into the stacks on her own, in search of some books that would help Henry with his school project on the solar system. She was standing in the astronomy section with her hands shoved into the back pockets of her jeans, frowning at the frankly baffling array of options when a voice spoke just to her left.

“Can I help you find something?” it said.

Emma turned with a smile that stalled abruptly as her mouth dropped open. “Um,” she said, blinking in confusion at the blue eyes and dark hair that very definitely did not belong to Belle, and the bright smile that took her breath away. “I actually could use some help, but—sorry, but do you work here?”

The owner of the voice—and the hair and the eyes—laughed. “I do, for the moment at least.”

“Did something happen to Belle?”

“To her grandfather, apparently,” he replied. “I’m not sure of the details but Belle told me she had to go back to Australia for family reasons.”

“Oh. I didn’t hear anything about that.”

The man’s eyebrow twitched in a small frown. “Well, it was quite at the last minute, so she probably didn’t have time to tell everyone. But I’d spoken to her recently and mentioned I was looking for a quiet place to spend a few weeks’ holiday and so when she asked if I could come here and cover for her for a while, I gladly agreed.”

“And why would she call you?” Emma nearly flinched at the harshness in her tone but the man’s smile widened and his eyes twinkled, sucking even more air from her lungs.

“We’re old friends from library school,” he explained, as Emma struggled for breath. “My name’s Killian Jones.”

His smile began to crumble as Emma just stood and stared at him, until she managed to shake herself out of her breathless haze and smile back. “Emma  Swan,” she said. “I’m the town sheriff.”

“Ah.” Killian’s grin brightened again, and Emma thought vaguely that he should really have a licence for that thing. “That explains all the questions.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. We don’t get many new faces in Storybrooke and, well—”

“Aye, of course, you can’t be too careful.”

“Um, right. Exactly.”

“Well, Sheriff Swan,” said Killian, with an absurd little waggle of his eyebrows, “I can assure you that haven’t broken any laws, but then I did only arrive in town last night so there’s still plenty of time.”

Emma laughed. She couldn’t help it, his goofy humour and ridiculous eyebrows were too charming. “But if you broke the law I’d have to lock you up,” she replied, and fucking hell was she flirting with him?

He seemed to think so, if the way his eyes glinted as he leaned in closer was any indication. “I might not mind being locked up, if you promised to stay and guard me,” he murmured.

Emma’s breath caught again at the look in his eyes, the edge of danger behind the flirty charm. “Do you talk like this to all library patrons?” she asked, cursing the raspiness in her voice.

“Definitely not. It’s highly unprofessional, but then there’s not much else I can say when you still haven’t answered my question.”

She swallowed hard. “Wh—what question?”

“Can I help you find anything?”

“Oh.” Duh, Emma. “Um, yeah, actually. My son has to do a project on the solar system, so I’m looking for some books he could use.”

She waited for Killian to freeze up, to awkwardly withdraw from her now that he knew she had a kid. But he simply nodded and asked “How old is your lad?”

“Ah, he’s twelve. Sixth grade.”

“Hmmm, in that case I’d recommend this one.” He reached over her shoulder to take a book from the shelf, giving Emma a whiff of some spicy cologne and a briny scent like he’d been out on the sea. Her knees went weak, and when he held out the book she stared blankly at it, trying to marshal her scrambled thoughts back into some kind of order. “It’s an excellent overview of the solar system with plenty of details on all the planets,” Killian explained, “but the language is accessible for someone your boy’s age.” His eyebrows rose again in an expectant look.

“Um. That looks great, thanks.”

“See how he gets on with it, and if he needs more information I’d be happy to make another recommendation.”  

Emma nodded and followed him to the check-out desk, wordlessly handing him her card and watching as he completed the process of checking out the book. When he finished he tucked a bookmark between the pages and handed it to her with another warm smile.

“Well, Emma Swan, it’s been lovely talking to you,” he said. “I hope it won’t be a one-time thing.”

“I—I’m in here a lot,” she replied. It was only a slight exaggeration. Henry was in the library a lot and she often came to pick him up. “So I’m sure I’ll see you again.”

For the third time in fifteen minutes Killian Jones stole her breath with his smile. “I’m looking forward to it already,” he said.

—

The next morning Emma was at Granny’s waiting in line for coffee when out of nowhere someone gave her a hard shove, knocking her into the man in front of her, who had just accepted his cup from Ruby.

“Oh my God!” she cried. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened!”

“It’s okay,” said the man with a tight smile, shaking droplets of coffee off his hand as Ruby’s eyes grew comically wide.

“Oh, no,” she said. “What a terrible accident. Let me get you another cup, sir.”

“Thanks,” said the man, and Emma’s own eyes nearly rolled clean from her head. Ruby was known for her lack of subtlety but this was ridiculous, even for her. Emma glanced over her shoulder just in time to spot the tip of Mulan’s braid just disappearing through the door.

“So,” the man was saying to Ruby when Emma returned her attention to him, leaning on the counter and giving her a crooked grin. “You come here often?”

“Every day,” said Ruby dryly. “I work here. But maybe you’d like to ask Emma that question.”

The man’s pale blue eyes flitted to Emma, then rapidly away. “I’d rather ask you.”

Ruby gave a frustrated huff. “Here’s your coffee.” She thrust the new cup at the man and turned her back.

“What’s her problem?” the man muttered.

“I don’t know,” snapped Emma, “maybe you should ask her wife.” The man’s eyes widened in alarm at the look on her face and he backed away, slowly edging towards the door.

“Have a great day,” she called after him, then turned to her best friend as the man fled the diner.

“I hope you’re happy,” she hissed.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Ruby asked, the picture of innocence. Emma rolled her eyes.

“I’m guessing this was your attempt at a coffee shop meet-cute? I spill the man’s coffee, apologise profusely, he laughs it off. I offer to buy him another cup, he refuses but asks me to dinner instead? Was that the idea?”

“...maybe.”

“And you see how well it turned out?”

“He was clearly just not The One,” said Ruby stubbornly.

“There is no ‘The One’ Rubes, that is a myth, and I cannot believe you roped Mulan into this nonsense too.”

“I didn’t rope her in, she volunteered! We both want you to be happy, Emma.”

“And you think dumping coffee on the world’s creepiest doctor will make me happy?”

“What? Have you met him before?”

“Yeah. Last year when Henry broke his arm. You’ll be pleased to hear that he tried to hit on me then. Right in front of my kid.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. Meet-cutes only work in romcoms and fanfics, Ruby. Here in reality they just piss people off.”

“Well,” said Ruby, handing Emma her coffee, determination clear in the set of her jaw. “We’ll see about that.”

—

Emma: What do you want for dinner?

Henry: What have we got?

Emma: Nothing, that’s why I’m asking. I can stop at the store on the way home.

Henry: I suppose pizza isn’t an option?

Emma: We had that yesterday.

Henry: Not a problem for me. But chicken or something would be okay too.

Emma: One of those rotisserie chickens?

Henry: Yeah, sounds good.

Emma: Okay, kid. See you at home.

Emma was standing in the grocery store, frowning as she compared the rotisserie chickens when a voice spoke just to her left.

“I don’t think there’s much of a difference between them, love.”

Her heart leapt and her skin tingled, and yet when she turned to face Killian Jones—and his damned smile—she was still not prepared.

“Hi,” she said breathlessly. “I, um, didn’t expect to see you here.”

“No reason why you should, I guess, except that I like all people do need to eat from time to time.”

“Of course.” She felt foolish, but his expression was warm and only slightly teasing.

“How did your son get on with the book?” he asked.

“Really well! He read for like two hours last night. Thanks for the recommendation.”

“Any time.”

They stood grinning at each other until someone behind them cleared his throat and they both gave a little start. Killian rubbed the back of his neck as he moved aside to allow Mr Clark to select a chicken.

“So, um,” said Emma after he’d left. “Are you getting stuff for dinner?”

“Aye. I’m staying in the apartment above the library and this morning I discovered that the oven doesn’t work, and the repairman can't come until tomorrow. So I need something that comes pre-cooked. Hence rotisserie chicken.”

“Solid plan,” said Emma, though she felt sad thinking of this lovely man eating dinner alone in that tiny apartment, and that was the only reason that she blurted out “But, ah, why don’t you come over and eat with Henry and me?”

“Oh.” Killian blinked in surprise.

“Since we’re both having the same thing it makes sense not to waste a chicken,” Emma barrelled on. “When Henry and I get one we’ve always got leftovers, so… I mean, you don’t have to if you’d rather not—”

“No, no. I mean, yes! Yes, I’d like that.”

“Oh. Um, good.”

He smiled again, bright as always but with a hint of shyness that caught her off guard. “Is it, ah, just the two of you?” he asked. “Presuming Henry is your son, that is?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “His dad’s, um... not in the picture.”

“I see. Well then I would love to share a meal with you, Emma Swan. And your son. And perhaps you would allow me to bring dessert?”

Emma’s heart was pounding so loudly now she was sure he must be able to hear it. “That’d be great. Um, here’s my cell number, just at the bottom of this.” She took a business card from her pocket and handed it to him. “Text me and I’ll send you directions to our place. Can you come over about six?”

“Six it is.” Killian slipped the card into his own pocket carefully, as though he didn’t wish to harm it. “I’ll see you then.”

—

Emma finished the rest of her shopping in a daze, wandering haphazardly through the aisles and putting random things in her cart without thinking before giving herself a mental slap and a stern admonition to get a fucking grip. She removed the strawberry syrup from her cart (she and Henry both hated fake strawberry flavour) and the tuna (what the hell had she been thinking?) and then remembered that Henry was nearly out of peanut butter. His favourite kind was the most popular one and the store could hardly keep it stocked, so she was pleased to see that there was one jar left as she approached the shelf. Just as she was reaching for it, though, another hand appeared and snatched it from her grip.

“Hey!” she cried indignantly. “That was mine!”

“Sorry,” said the man who’d taken it. He didn’t look sorry in the slightest. “Maybe they’ve got more in the back?”

“Are you kidding me?” Emma huffed.

“Nope,” the man replied. “Look, I really am sorry but someone needs this peanut butter. She sent me in here to get it specifically.”

Emma hissed her breath out through her teeth. “She did, did she? And did she say why she couldn’t get the damn peanut butter herself?”

“Ah, no,” said the man, frowning warily at her. “She didn’t. But listen, lady it’s just a jar of peanut butter.”

Emma’s lip curled into a snarl and the man’s eyes widened in alarm. He backed away from her, nearly stumbling in his haste. “So, um, I’m going to, ah, go now,” he stuttered. “Bye.”

He turned and fled towards the checkouts with Emma close on his heels. She followed him to the self-checkout line where he kept shooting nervous looks over his shoulder at her and she amused herself by giving him darker and darker glares each time and keeping her eyes fixed on him when he took the jar of peanut butter and ran out the door.

When she arrived at where she’d left her car Emma was entirely unsurprised to find Ruby there, leaning against the hood and looking slightly sheepish.

“So what was the plan this time?” asked Emma. “That we would both reach for the last jar of peanut butter, our fingers would touch, sparks would fly, and we would exchange cute banter with sexually charged undertones ending in a date?”

Ruby nodded. “Something like that.”

“Ruby, I keep telling you, that is not how real life works!”

“Oh yeah?” Ruby challenged. “Well, what about David and Mary Margaret! They had a meet-cute.”

“He mistook her for a burglar and she hit him in the face!”

“Exactly!”

“How is that a meet-cute?”

“How is it not? They met, it was cute, and now they’ve got an amazing story to tell their kids.”

“I met Neal when I tried to steal the car he’d already stolen,” Emma pointed out. “That’s an amazing story and yet our relationship was a fucking dumpster fire that I’d be happy to forget all about if it weren’t for Henry. Not all cute meetings end in happily ever after, and frankly I don’t think a squabble over peanut butter in a small town grocery store is the best way to jump-start true love.”

“And what would you know about true love?” Ruby snapped, then gasped in horror as her eyes went wide and she clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, Emma, I’m so sorry,” she whispered through her fingers. “I didn’t mean it.”

Emma’s chest felt tight. “It’s okay,” she muttered.  

“No, it really isn’t.” Ruby gripped Emma’s hands in hers. “I love you, Ems, and you’re one of the most loving people I know. That’s why I want so badly to see you happy.”

“I know.” Emma nodded and gave Ruby’s hands a squeeze. “I know you didn’t mean to say it.” However true it might be, she thought bitterly.

“Let me make it up to you—”

“Oh my God, please don’t—”

“—with this free jar of peanut butter!” finished Ruby triumphantly. She reached into her bag and removed the jar, offering it up with a flourish.

Emma smiled as she took it. “Thanks. I wasn’t looking forward to telling Henry how someone stole the last jar right out from under me.”

Ruby flashed a grin, then turned solemn. “Are we okay, Emma?” she asked hesitantly. “Truly?”

“Of course we are,” Emma reassured her. “Truly. I do have to get going though I have—uh, Henry will be getting hungry.”

“Of course.” Ruby stepped back to let Emma unlock her car door. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you.”

As Emma drove home she tried not to think about why she hadn’t told Ruby that Killian was coming for dinner. It might stop her friend’s meet-cute-ing attempts if she knew Emma had a—well, not a date exactly but a man coming over to... well, just to eat really, but still. She could have spun it so it seemed like a date and got Ruby off her back, at least for a while. Yet for some reason Emma wanted to keep Killian just for herself. At least for a while.

—

Killian Jones was punctual and he could follow directions, Emma thought when her doorbell rang that evening at six o’clock precisely. That alone put him head and shoulders above Neal... and what the hell was she doing comparing a man she’d literally met yesterday with her son’s useless father, even just in the privacy of her own head?

She smoothed her hair and the front of her blouse and took a deep breath to calm herself before opening the door, and still she was not prepared for that stupid, gorgeous smile.

“Good evening, Swan,” Killian greeted her. “I come bearing brownies.”

And wine, she couldn’t help noticing as she stepped back to let him in. “Great, uh, brownies are my favourite,” she lied. “Um, Killian, I’d like you to meet my son, Henry.”

Henry came forward with smile on his lips and mild confusion in his eyes. “Hi Killian, nice to meet you.”

“And you, lad. I hope you like brownies as well.”

“I love them,” Henry replied. “Though my mom usually prefers—” he broke off when Emma gave him a Look. “Ah, she prefers hers without nuts.”

“Well, she’s in luck because these are nut-free.”

“Sounds perfect!” said Henry brightly, and Emma didn’t think she’d ever loved him more.

“Let me just take those from you,” she said, relieving Killian of the box of brownies and bottle of wine. “Henry, can you show him into the living room? Oh, and Killian what would you like to drink?”

“Whatever’s easiest, love.”

“Water, soda, beer?”

“Beer would be great.”

“Coming right up.”

Emma fled to the kitchen, doing her best not to look like she was fleeing. Once safety through the door she set the brownies and wine on the counter and desperately drew air into her lungs. She wasn’t going to survive spending much more time with Killian if she didn’t learn to breathe around him, she thought wryly, and also why was she even thinking about spending more time with him—this was nothing but a casual, friendly meal and they had only just met.

“Get a fucking grip, Emma,” she reminded herself firmly, and went to pour some beer.

When she entered the living room a few minutes later Killian and Henry were sitting next to each other on the sofa, deep in discussion about the solar system. Henry had his project notes spread out on the coffee table and Killian was rubbing his chin, listening intently as her son spoke, and Emma’s heart absolutely did not melt at the sight of them. It didn’t.

She set a glass of soda in front of Henry and a beer in front of Killian, who looked up at her with a smile.

“Thanks, love.”

Aaaand there went her breath again, thought Emma. Damn it.

“Ah, I’m just going to go finish up dinner, um, if everything’s okay in here?” she said.

“Aye, I think we’ll be all right.”

“Mom, guess what? Killian knows all about astronomy and he’s going to help me make sure my project’s good!” Henry exclaimed.

“All about astronomy, eh?” teased Emma.

To her astonishment Killian’s cheeks and the tips of his ears turned pink. “A slight exaggeration on the lad’s part,” he said, scratching at a spot just below his ear. “But it is an interest of mine and I’ll do my best to be of some use to him.”

“He’s already helped me with Saturn’s moons, and now we’re gonna talk about the rings on Uranus,” said Henry excitedly. “Did you know Uranus has rings, Mom?”

“I did not,” said Emma, biting her lip as amusement glinted in Killian’s eyes.

“Yep,” Henry continued, oblivious to their mirth. “Just skinny ones, though.”

“I suppose bigger ones wouldn’t fit,” said Emma. A muscle danced in Killian’s jaw as he clenched it tight. Henry frowned.

“Uranus is still pretty big,” he said. “Not as big as Jupiter or Saturn but—hey! Are you guys laughing at Uranus?”

“Of course not, lad,” said Killian. “Uranus isn’t funny at all.”

“It’s very serious actually,” said Emma.

“I certainly take it seriously,” Killian agreed.

Henry glared at them. “You guys realise I’m the twelve-year-old boy, right? If anyone should be making Uranus jokes it’s me.”

“Well you have been letting some excellent joke opportunities slip by you, my boy.”

“Yeah, Henry, we’re just picking up your slack.”

“Much like rings on Uranus might.”

“Oh my God,” Henry groaned, as Emma lost control of her laughter and collapsed onto the sofa. Killian was grinning like a maniac, ridiculously pleased with himself, which only made her laugh harder. Henry held out for nearly a full minute before he started giggling too, then all three of them held their stomachs and roared.

—

Their fit of shared hilarity helped Emma relax, and the dinner ended up being one of the best evenings she’d had in a long time. Killian, as it turned out, had spent several years in the navy before he became a librarian. He had hundreds of stories about his adventures in far-off lands and seemingly endless patience for inquisitive twelve-year-olds who wanted to hear every single one.

Emma sat and ate and listened as Killian regaled her son with his tales, and tried not to think too hard about how simply nice this was. Like the sort of pleasant family meal she’d always dreamed of as a child and regretted that she couldn’t give Henry, and she really needed to stop thinking about Killian like he was an actual part of her life when she’d barely known him for a day. She knew better than that. From bitter experience.

And yet. Killian’s kindness to and interest in Henry was genuine, she was sure of it. There was no hint in his words or actions to suggest that he was trying to use her kid to get to her, or that he was only pretending to care about Henry’s project. Her superpower didn’t even twitch. Every instinct Emma had was screaming that the most sinister thing about Killian Jones was how dangerously attractive she found him. He was just a nice man who knew how to talk to children. A nice, insanely hot man with the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen and a smile that stole all the air from her lungs, who not only didn’t run when he found out about her kid but actually liked him.

Fuck, she thought, as Killian caught her eye and gave her a little half-smile that had her gasping for air. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

—

“Well, thank you for a lovely evening, Swan.” Killian’s hand was on the doorknob but he seemed in no great hurry to leave, and she was equally not eager to see him go. “I had a wonderful time.”

“Me too. And thanks for being so nice to Henry.”

“Your boy is a delight, it was no hardship.”

“Still. It meant a lot to him.” She didn’t mention Neal and Killian didn’t ask, but she had the strangest feeling that they both wished they could.

You only just met him, damn it!

“It was my pleasure,” said Killian, and the way his voice went gruff on the word pleasure set her heart racing and heat blooming across her skin, and when his breath caught and his gaze dropped to her lips she had to force herself to remember that this wasn’t a date and she didn’t actually know this man. But she could tell from the rasp in his throat and the flush on his cheeks that he was feeling the same things she was, that he wanted the same things just as badly, and it would be easy, so easy just to lean in and press her lips to his—

Too easy, and far too risky. Emma gulped and stepped back as Killian gave a shaky exhale, closing his eyes as his Adam’s apple bobbed and Emma shoved her hands hard into her jeans pockets. He opened his eyes and then the door and gave her a brief smile before stepping into the hallway. Emma dug her fingers into her legs and firmly squashed the tiny part of her that wanted to beg him to stay.

“Well, ah, thanks for coming,” she said. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Aye.” He took two steps then stopped and turned back. “Er, perhaps next time you might allow me to provide the meal?” he said hesitantly. “Just for you?”

“Um. What?” said Emma, then immediately wanted to kick herself.

Killian’s nervous expression softened. “Well you see, as much as I enjoyed Henry’s company this evening, I’d very much like to take you out, Emma,” he said. “Just the two of us. On a date.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Aye, really. On Friday, perhaps, if you’re free?”

“Ah, yeah, I can be,” she replied, trying not to sound too eager. “I’ll have to see if I can get someone to watch Henry, but… yeah. I’d like that.”

That breath-stealing smile broke across his face as she knew it would, and yet she still wasn’t ready for it. “It’s a date, then,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear something warm.”

“Uh.. okay.”

“And love, if you can’t find someone to look after Henry at such short notice I’d still like to spend the evening with you.” Killian’s face was earnest now. “With both of you, I mean. We’ll just postpone our date until a more convenient time.”

A lump rose in Emma’s throat and for a moment she thought she might cry. “I—that’d be good too. I’ll let you know.”

He nodded. “Good night, then, Swan.”

“Good night.”

—

@katie-dub @thisonesatellite @spartanguard @kmomof4 @stahlop @mariakov81 @teamhook in case you’re interested :)

#cs fic #cs ff #cs ff au #cs fic au #captain swan #captain cobra #meet-cutes #sort of #fluff #like lots of it #ridiculous amounts #also dumb jokes #and dates #the meet cute #profdanglaisstuff

[a-pretty-nerd]

Tomura Shigaraki x AllMight!Daughter!Reader

Chapter 3 

Premis:

When The League of Villains discovers that AllMight has a daughter, they are quick to snatch you up and hold you hostage. Shigaraki had a careful and thought out plan, but that was before you got there. Now you're in the mood for some not-so-healthy rebellion.

Word count: 1,556 

Warnings: Panic Attack, themes of depression and self-hatred. Later chapters will include violence and nsfw content. 

A/N: 

I'm gonna try and have a pretty regular posting schedule. From now on I'm going to try posting once a day, even of its just a headcannon, I wanna post once a day now. I'M GOING TO TRY AND POST ONE CHAPTER A WEEK. Especially for this series, I'm having a lot of fun with it but Tumblr doesn't seem to like it and refuses to post it to the hashtags. Sorry, I know this chapter is kinda short, but I feel like this series deserves a slow, intense, burn. 

Don't forget, I have a Patreon, where you can join my discord, vote on new projects, and make requests! Thanks for reading!

Chapter 2 Chapter 4

Days passed. 

It all felt like a strange blur. You wondered around the abandoned house the villains called their hideout for the time being. You spent hours watching the news that Shigaraki constantly played. Despite being the daughter of the Japan’s #1 hero, there wasn’t a single report of your disappearance. You were confused. 

“They’re probably keeping the investigation quiet. Y’know, so we don’t see them coming.” Dabi told you one day as you sat on the old dusty couch and watched. You watched helplessly as the group came and went, always having someone stay behind to ‘babysit’ as Mr. Compress referred to it. 

You were allowed to wander around the old abandoned building the villains called their hideout. At first, you thought it was a house but now you realized it was an old office building. The villains mostly stayed in a specific part where they were made comfortable. It appeared that only a certain part of the building had power. Everywhere else was dark and cold and uncomfortable. 

“Yeesh, you stick!-Take a bath!” Twice shouted at you one day. You frowned and crossed your arms over your chest and stuck your hands under your arms. 

“Speak for yourself! Not my fault you guys didn’t exactly grab me a change of clothes, or let me piss alone much less shower!” You shouted in frustration. It all seemed to dawn on them at once, maybe they hadn’t exactly thought this through all the way. 

“Y’know what? You’re right! I’ll be right back!” Toga declared with a smile. 

“Where are you going?” Shigaraki asked as he watched her head for the door. 

“It’s a surprise!” She closed the door behind her and the room fell silent. Spinner soon approached only to recoil in disgust. 

“Twice is right, you do stink.” He grunted. 

“Thanks…” You grumbled. 

“Here take this and go wash off.” He held out a raggedy towel. You were directed to a bathroom with a makeshift shower in it and told to wash off before the bathroom door closed. The water was horribly cold. 

You stood under it and let the water wash over your naked body. Man, you really were dirty. The cold water soon became warmer and you lost yourself in the feeling of it. You closed your eyes and melted. Soon, the feeling of tears running down your cheeks mixed in with the sensation of your wet hair tickling the back of your neck. You crouched down and held your knees to your chest as you began to sob uncontrollably. You couldn’t stop it, the pain in your chest flowed out through your lips are you cried. You held yourself tight, your fingers digging into your legs. The pain was so intense, and your thoughts so muddied, you could see yourself sitting there, just crying. Objectively, you watched yourself and criticized. 

This was all your fault, your mother and father are worried sick about you. All because you pushed yourself too hard and couldn’t fight back. You’re a mess. You deserve this. You’ll die here, they’ll kill you before you can see your parents again. You’re worthless. You can’t even protect yourself. 

These thoughts only made the pain more intense, it made it worse. You sobs grew louder and louder and the pain grew and grew. It got to the point where you felt unable to control yourself. You began lashing out, hitting your own head, and scratching your legs. Then another thought emerged. 

This wasn’t your fault. If it weren’t for him. If it weren’t for your father and his stupid fucking hero work, you’d be home right now. You’d be safe and sound and unbothered by this hero/villain mess. He didn’t even want you to come to Japan, so why were you here? He doesn’t even want you. And your mother, she’s the one that sent you. This was her idea. This was her fault too. Anger fed the pain in your chest and it ached. The attack on your mind and body ragged on, until you heard a knock on the door. 

You felt unable to move, unable to stop. You cursed yourself again. They could hear you, couldn’t they? They could hear you crying. You expected someone to yell, but there wasn’t a voice. The door slowly opened and shut. The curtain was slowly drawn back and two eyes looked down at you. You shook violently as you looked up. Suddenly you became very aware that you were naked. 

“Why are you crying?” Toga asked as she knelt down to get closer to you. You couldn’t respond. “What’s wrong? We’re not going to hurt you, I promise. Hey, don’t cry, it’s alright. Look, I brought you some new clothes.” She reached out a hand and rubbed your naked back. 

“I-I-I’m sorry.” You croaked. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she reassured, “you’re safe here, no one is going to hurt you. And if anyone does, you come to me, alright?” 

“O-Okay.” 

“Are you done washing off?” You shook your head no. “Okay well finish up and try these on. I think you’ll like it.” She set the new clothes on the bathroom counter before leaving you. You sniffled and struggled to stand, but you managed. You took deep breathes and tried to soothe yourself. You felt drained and empty now, if not a little bit better. You stepped out and looked at the clothes on the counter. They were soft and comfortable, how did she guess the right size of underwear but the wrong size shirt and pants? They were just a little big, they fit fine where it mattered, but just a little baggy everywhere else. Definitely not something you’d pick out for yourself, but it would do for now. 

You brushed through your wet hair with your fingers and stared at yourself in the mirror for a moment. Your eyes were red and puffy, your face flushed. It made your heart race to know that everyone was well aware you were crying. You opened the door and everyone turned to look at you again. Oh god. Toga pulled herself away from what looked like a chat with Shigaraki. 

“Damn! One size off! I knew it!” Toga shouted as she approached you to examine the clothes on you. 

“They’re fine, really.” You mumbled to her as she pulled on the pants at the band. 

“Are they comfortable at least?” She asked folding her arms over her chest. 

“Yes. Thank you.” 

“Oh don’t mention it! Next time I’ll have to take you shopping with me!” She smiled. Next time? Take you? You stared blankly at her. She pulled you with her to sit on the couch and watch more of the news. 

“You know. Now that I think about it. I don’t think he wants it out that I exist.” You thought out loud. 

“What do you mean?” Toga asked. You turned to her with a blank face. 

“Its always been a secret. I could never talk about my dad, even when I was little. Everyone assumed I just didn’t have a dad. Even when we came to visit when I was younger, no one knew I was his daughter. If the public asked, I was his niece. They always told me it was for my own safety. I get that now.” You chuckled to yourself. “But that’s probably why there’s no report on my disappearance. No one can know. I’m just a dirty little secret.” 

“Xavier! Over here!” 

Your mother called as she stood partially outside a taxi. Xavier, your “boyfriend” waved back to your mother as she dragged along his luggage. 

“Ms. Y/L/N! I’m sorry I’m late! The flight was delayed, I came as soon as you called.” Xavier was a clean-cut, academic genius. He wore slacks and a button-up on a daily basis. He was incredibly smart with several degrees by his early twenties and already on his way to becoming a very successful lawyer. He was handsome, conventionally so. He was handsome, smart, thoughtful, and generous. He was everything your mother wanted for you. 

But that was it, he was a gift from your mother you took reluctantly. She knew his father from work, it was all set up. You had been together for roughly a year now. You liked him enough to date to try and love even. He was nice and even fun at times. But you were lying every time you told him you loved him. You had been meaning to break it off for some time now, but you were unsure. You feared disappointing your mother, again. You were afraid to hurt him. You thought your trip to Japan would allow you to clear your mind and think about things before making a decision. 

Your mother brought him back to your father. Who was far too busy worrying about you to really care to give Xavier the time of day. Xavier had a very specific quirk, one that came in handy in the legal field. He could tell whether or not someone was lying just by making eye contact with someone. He was now going to be a key player in getting you back. He, like your mother and father, was not going to rest until he had you back. You can be sure of that.

Taglist:

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love @craftybean13 @babayaga67 @imjustverable

#mha x reader #bnha fanfiction #shigaraki tomura #tomura shigaraki x reader #Tomura Shigaraki #tomura shigaraki smut #tomura x you #tomura shiragaki #Tomura Shigaraki x All Might!Daughter!Reader

[violett-writes]

Subtle

Simping

Then Perish.

Rock and Roll

Dream sniffles, “Why don’t you ever raid me? I thought you simped for me.” He fake cries a little.

You giggle, covering your mouth with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. “Dream you never stream when I’m streaming.”

You hear him sniffle again, “Well… if I do then will you raid me?”

You scoff, “Like you need my viewers.” You giggle again, biting your lip slightly.

George groans loudly, “Can you two stop flirting right in front of my stream?!” He says, hitting you with a diamond sword.

“Ouchies.” You murmur pouting.

Dream wheezes, “Ouchies?!” He mocks you, wheezing again.

The four of you messed around on the sever for another hour before George finishes up his stream. You scream goodbye, punching George a few times for effect. Sapnap screams with you, the two of you unfortunately killing him in game. His complaints are overshadowed by your screams.

Sapnap and George leave the discord call, leaving Dream and you alone. The two of you talk for another hour, late into the night. You share your fears of not meeting the expectations of your parents and he shares his fears of not meeting the expectations of his fans.

Finally, you bid him a goodbye, promising to talk again in the morning.

!TWITTER!

dream2 @.dreamwastaken2

maybe i am a simp

           George @.georgenootfound

           …she’s asleep piss baby

           sapnap @.twsimpnap

           simp dream confirmed

You wake up to your phone blowing up, the twitter notification going off every 10 seconds. You moan and rub your eyes, leaning forward to grab your phone from your bedside table. You blink a couple times before checking twitter.

Your eyes widen seeing Dream’s tweet. You smile to yourself, hoping beyond all hope that it’s a tweet about you.

Your fingers move across the screen quickly before you take a deep breath and press tweet

!TWITTER!

dream2 @.dreamwastaken2

maybe i am a simp

           nootmare @.nightmare2

           same

You wait a second before shaking your head, obviously Dream isn’t going to respond in two seconds. You go to your bathroom to get ready for the day before sitting down at your computer, ready to stream again.

Your phone buzzes twice.

!TWITTER!

           nootmare @.nightmare2

           same

                       TommyInnit @.tommyinnit

                       flerting?!

                       Tubbo @.TubboLive

                       def flerting.

You smile again chuckling to yourself before starting up your stream, titling it as ‘Early Grind’. You quickly tweet out that your stream is starting in five minutes and to make sure to join. You start up Minecraft and begin your stream as normal, ignoring all the questions about you and Dream. You’re not sure if you have the answer to their questions in the first place.

After two hours of messing around on your server, not really doing anything productive, you get ready to raid someone. You noticed that barely 10 minutes ago Dream began to stream. How convenient.

“Okay guys, we’re going to raid Dream. He gave me shit the last time I streamed for not raiding him, so make sure you let him know loud and clear that I sent y’all…” You tell your viewers, giggling before sending the raid his way.

You join his stream, waiting for his reaction to your raid.

“Wait, Nightmare, thank you for your raid! Took you long enough.” Dream says, pausing the game. “And I’m sure you’re watching so join the discord.” He tells you and you giggle out loud. Of course he would assume that you would stick around to watch his stream.

You join the discord, noticing that it was only the two of you in it.

“Okay, hold on guys I gotta tell Nightmare something real quick.” Dream tells his stream, muting himself so that only you can hear him.

“Nightmare…”He begins and you hear the smile in his voice.

You bite your lip, smiling hard, “Yes, Dream?”

“I saw your tweet…” He trails off, hesitating.

You giggle slightly, “And I saw yours.”

He takes a deep breath, “If I sent you a merch sweatshirt, would you wear it?”

You can’t help but laugh, feeling like the question is much more than what the surface meaning is. “Of course, Clay.”

“Thank you, (Y/N).” He says, unmuting himself on his stream and continuing like nothing happened.

True to his word, he sent you a sweatshirt a week later, but he had thrown in one of his own. You could tell because it smelled exactly how you imagined he would smell. And true to your word, you wore the merch sweatshirt on the very next stream, making sure to acknowledge it to your viewers. Then, the stream after you wore his and everyone noticed the Florida Gators on the front of it. Dream complimented your sweatshirt one too many times anyways, so if the viewers didn’t notice the Florida Gators emblem on the front, they sure as hell noticed his compliments.

The viewers also didn’t fail to notice the fact that one week you didn’t stream at all, but the next week you came back tanner than ever and spoke of your trip to Disney World. It didn’t take too long for your fans to connect the dots between Dream’s tweets about a mysterious girl who he is head over heels for and your talk of going to Disney for the first time ever.

------------

And that’s the end of this miniseries! i hope you liked it :) be on the look out for more sapnap stuffs because there is definitely not enough.

as always, dream team if you see this, no you didn’t. but also hi I’m 19.

#dream team #dream team appreciation #dream team fanfiction #dream #dreamwastaken #clay #dream fanfic #clay fanfic #dreamwastaken fanfic #george #georgenotfound #george fanfic #georgenotfound fanfic #sapnap #nick #sapnap fanfic #nick fanfic #fanfiction #dream team if you see this #no you didnt #but also hi #im 19

[gamerwoo]

Baekhyun: Persona (part 15: the ultimate collab)

Previous | Next | Masterlist

Summary: Rising Twitch streamer, Baekhyun has a massive crush on a popular Twitch streamer who goes by the name “ar3um”. You never knew Baekhyun even existed until a few odd turn of events that led you to get closer with him until you can’t help but fall for his own charm. There are only two problems: Baekhyun has his heart set on someone else, and he doesn’t know that you, his friend’s reclusive roommate, is actually the faceless girl he’s falling for.

a/n: obviously this skips head to the night they’re playing so ignore time stamps as always

Tags: @baek-byunies @thalasoophilia @byunfirstlady @yangkeosang @littleflowercrown13 @khelmatic @cbxs @mingiholic @huexauzzy @kittysbtscorner @diamondsvts @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @sxojihye @ravyeolii​ @vampybaek​ @ximaginx  @cosmicralway​ @luv1ee​ @uwuteamleader @rosyyeols

Unable to tag: @seventeen-atiny-army

-

“No, I don’t wanna be the killer!” you whined as you checked to make sure everything was running smoothly.

You heard a deep chuckle in your headset -- you learned that voice was Chanyeol’s, “Why? Being the killer is way less scary.”

“Yeah, but if I do bad, it’s on me,” you explained, glancing over the comments -- most of them were about Baekhyun. “What if I don’t kill anybody?”

The first game you were going to play was Dead By Daylight. Apparently, the three boys had made a whole list of games they wanted to play, and that was the first of the night. You were just praying you didn’t end up as the killer.

“Then you suck,” Sehun stated bluntly.

You and Chanyeol started laughing loudly at the statement.

“Sehun, that’s rude!” Baekhyun scolded in a whine.

“Not if it’s the truth,” you scoffed.

Thankfully, Baekhyun ended up being the killer. 

The first round was going...well, it was going. Chanyeol kept fucking up the generators while Sehun had already gotten himself caught twice. Thankfully, you and Chanyeol were always there to help him down from the hooks, causing Baekhyun to whine and complain about how he had to catch him again. But if Sehun got caught another time, he was probably a goner.

“You know what I just realized?” Chanyeol asked after sitting in a concentrated silence as he tried to get the second generator going.

“What?” you asked.

“Somebody’s probably gonna stream snipe us,” he chuckled.

“Well yeah, how do you think I got Sehun so many times?” Baekhyun snorted.

You let out a laugh, scolding Baekhyun for cheating. Something about how happy you felt playing with the three of them had you feeling a little bolder, deciding to play off the comments in chat about Baekhyun’s crush on you.

“I can’t believe the cheater is the one who has a crush on me,” you said teasingly. 

The call went quiet before Sehun and Chanyeol simultaneously went “oooooh”. You could practically see Baekhyun blushing just from his silence.

“Wait,” Chanyeol spoke up, “how did you know that?”

“I think a lot of my viewers are his, too,” you replied as you did another skill check for the third generator. “My chat is full of comments about Baekhyun right now.”

“Yeah...” Baekhyun finally sighed. “I heard you mention me the other night because of them...”

“For somebody who’s loudly and openly lovesick on main, you sure are shy right now,” Sehun stated.

“For somebody who’s about to be dead, you sure are being pretty bold right now,” Baekhyun shot back before Sehun let out a loud screech that made you flinch.

You, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun started laughing loudly and gasping for air as Sehun panicked and frantically pressed the spacebar so hard that you could hear it. He was begging for Baekhyun to not kill him, but Baekhyun told him it was payback for teasing him before Sehun’s indicator in the bottom left corner showed he had died.

You weren’t surprised when Chanyeol eventually got caught. You managed to save him once, but when you went to save him a second time, Baekhyun appeared out of nowhere, and you gasped and ran.

“You can’t camp my body!” Chanyeol complained.

“Watch me,” Baekhyun replied with an evil laugh.

So Chanyeol didn’t get saved, leaving you as the last remaining survivor.

“Oh, ar3um...” Baekhyun sang in an eerily sweet, quiet voice.

“Stop that!” you whined as you rushed to get the final generator going. You were so close to being done, and then you just had to open the exit. “You just stay over by Chanyeol. Maybe hold a funeral for a few minutes, say some nice words.”

“Hyung would never do that,” Sehun replied.

“Good riddance,” Baekhyun said. “Funeral over.”

“Wow, Baekhyun, that was a beautiful ceremony,” the words tumbled from your mouth in panic as the last generator finally started up, and you made a beeline toward where you recalled the exit was. “Too bad I gotta go!”

When you got to the door, you started opening it, knowing very well that Baekhyun was on his way and could come get you any minute. You finally saw him come into view, but you were so close to getting the door open, so you decided to test your luck as you chanted “come on” at the door. When it finally opened, you tried to take off and get away, but Baekhyun whacked your character and made her fall to the ground.

“Nooooo!” you cried as the killer picked you up off of the ground.

The three boys laughed at you as you continued to say “no” repeatedly -- and at lightening speed -- while spamming the keyboard like your actual life depended on it and not just in the game. 

But instead of going to the closest hook, Baekhyun started going to one farther away.

You didn’t question it, doing your best to squirm to get away from him. He went passed another hook, not saying anything about it, and went toward one even farther away.

“Uh, hey Baek--”

“Shh, shut up!” Chanyeol quickly shushed the younger boy.

You managed to get free, letting out a cheerful shriek as you went back to the exist with Baekhyun chasing behind you. But since he tried to hit you when you were too far away, it slowed him down, and you were able to get through the exit.

“Adios!” you cheered as you left the murder behind.

As the screen came up to show that you’d won, your team groaned, clearly not happy with the win.

“Baek, you let her win!” Chanyeol groaned.

You could hear the innocence in Baekhyun’s voice when he said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Your chat was full of comments about how whipped he was for going by hooks that would’ve clearly won him the game. You had your mic muted for Discord when you spoke to chat.

“Oh, I know he let me win,” you laughed softly. “But hey, a win’s a win, chat.”

“Let’s play something Baekhyun can’t throw for ar3um,” Sehun decided. “We can play Overwatch or something.”

“Sounds good to me!” you chirped.

Meanwhile, Baekhyun’s chat was scolding him just like his friends were.

He frowned at the comments of how whipped her really was, “Shut up, chat.”

#exo #baekhyun #exo au #exo text au #exo imagine #exo scenario #exo fanfic #exo x reader #gamer!exo #baekhyun au #baekhyun text au #baekhyun imagine #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun x reader #gamer!baekhyun #exo aus #exo text aus #exo imagines #exo scenarios #exo fanfics #baekhyun aus #baekhyun text aus #baekhyun imagines #baekhyun scenarios #baekhyun fanfics

[thenataliamarseille]

You’re Safe | Discord

                                                      DISCORD THREAD #002

Who?: Natalia Marseille, Traci Hendrix ( @traciisms ) When?: Monday 10th August 2020, 04:30am Where?: Outside Cherry Pop

Mentions: Nicola Sloane ( @nicolaeisms ), Avery Oliveira ( @amoliveiraofficial ) Triggers: abuse mentions, sex work mentions, violence

PLOT DEVELOPMENT?: YES. Traci is attacked outside Cherry Pop.

Traci

traci has had a long night at cherry pop with how crowded it has been. it's a saturday night, so that can explain why there's so many clients around to watch them perform. rich businessmen, bachelors, trust fund babies, you name a type of client, they're all there. after her performance on-stage and a couple of private show, the girl quickly got herself ready to come home. she's supposed to walk out with natalia as always, but she was a little bit hard to find, so she decided to wait for her outside, which was a very bad one for her. "hello venus, waiting for someone?" "why are you alone, kitten?" "do you want to join us instead?" traci's found herself being surrounded by a group of men, slowly taking steps away from them. not so long after, her back hit a wall, causing for her to whimper. she tried to shout for help, but there was nothing that was coming out of her mouth. flashbacks of that bachelors party long ago came to mind, making her stand there frozen. what is she going to do now?

Natalia

Natalia got off the phone with Nicola and finished up in the office where she was counting up the takings from the extremely busy Saturday they had just had. Busy was fucking good at the moment, the hot weather bringing more people out for drinks, the dancers keeping them there and keeping their cash in the tills. She walked around the back areas of club that were for staff only, finding all the right people that needed paying on the night. Then, she quickly swapped out her stripper heels for some boots and threw on her infamous faux fur coat and after a conversation with another dancer that said that Traci had gone outside, she too headed out the firedoors at the back. "I'll see you tomorrow babies," she called back into the strippers changing rooms on her way out. "Trac--" Nat's call for the woman was cut short when she saw her being backed into a corner by the group of businessmen that had been told twice inside to quit it with the touching attempts. "Hey!" Natalia called out. "Get the fuck away from her or I'll call the cops," she shouted, her thick french accent shining through.

Traci

tears started streaming down her cheeks, it felt like these....these walls are closing in on her, all she could hear are these men's muffled voices, the voice of that very man who cornered her in a secluded room and almost took advantage of her. but nat came out to the rescue for her that night. natalia. where's natalia? she tried to call out of her, but there wasn't much sound. until....finally she was there. but traci was still scared, she couldn't move. she kept on glancing between them and natalia, silently pleading for her help.

Natalia

The men turned to look at the other stripper, their eyes going over her body like they owned it and, if looks could kill, the expression that took hold of Nat's features. "Who the fuck do you think you're looking at like that," she spat, being the one to take the first move and step forward into the group of men. They laughed. They fucking laughed. They called out petnames and then one of them took another step closer to Traci and that was it. "Nique la police," she muttered under her breath as she reached into her fur and down her leg and pulled out a small handgun. "Step the fuck away from my dancer," she demanded, her eyebrow raising as she flicked the safety off the gun.

Traci

everything that's happened next was a blur to her. she just stood there watching as natalia dealt with these three men, definitely not in the calmest of way. she could feel it by the way she was staring at them, how her jaw clenched when it looked like they aren't taking her seriously. all of a sudden one of them moved closer again, making traci curl up in her corner. "nat...nat...please..." she finally cried. "please help me...." she sobbed quietly, looking up at the other pleadingly. she could feel her body growing weak, and just desperate for natalia, and the feeling of security she's always had with her.

Natalia

She heard Traci cry and call out and she just felt her entire body go into auto-pilot, the driver being sheer fucking rage. "Merde," she cursed as she shot the gun at the floor, using the sound of the shot to quickly close the gap between her and the man closest to Traci. She flipped the gun around and took it by the hot barrel which kind of burnt her hand but she didn't even notice. She pistol whipped the man, sending him down to the ground before spinning around in her five inch heels and grabbing the other one by his shirt, pulling him into her whilst cursing about how men were the fucking worst in French, and headbutted him with enough force that it sent him stumbling backwards into, and then back through the doors of the club. Nat turned again to where the third guy was as he tripped over his feet a little as he walked backwards, hands in the air. "Smart move, asshole," she spat out to out side and wiped the back of her hand across her lips before bending down and picking her gun back up off the floor then running over to Traci. "Hey, baby... It's okay-- I got you babygirl..." She muttered softly, pushing the her hair back and behind her ear. "Here--" Nat shrugged off her coat and wrapped it around Traci's shoulders. "Let's get you out of here..."

Traci

she could feel her head spinning as she watched what happened next when natalia shot her gun. she wasn't just afraid for her safety, but also for the older dancer's life. she stood there, trying to catch her breath while the woman took care of this group of bastards. nat definitely knew how to fight, how to fuck them up and send them running. she finds herself staring at the pavement, tears streaming down her face when natalia finally came up to her, tucking her hair behind her ear. "nat..." she almost leaped into her arms and sobbed, holding on to her for her dear life. once again, she was saved by natalia marseille. "okay....i... i'm tired....please...hold me in bed tonight...i... i'm scared, nat....still scared..."

Natalia

Natalia was shaking, but not because she was scared or because she was hurt but because she was just so fucking angry. This didn't happen a lot, on the most part, the people who came to the club were respectful of the dancers, but the few times a year it did happen... It took a little while for the dancers to shake it off. Especially Traci, especially after what had happened to her. "I'm here my darling... It's okay..." Natalia reassured her as she wrapped and arm around her and began to walk her forward. Natalia made no mistake when she stepped on the guy's hand with the stiletto of her heel causing him to cry out in pain. One of them called her a bitch and she stopped dead in her tracks, holding Traci in front of her and turning around with a cocked eyebrow as she stared him dead in the eye. "You want to call me that again, eh?" She spat with venom. The guy clearly knew what was best for him because he came out from between the back doors and shut them behind him. "That's what I thought-- you're all barred. From here, Blue, Peppermints-- and every other decent place in this fucking town." Of course, Natalia didn't have the automatic power to do that but she already knew Nic and Avery would put it in place the moment she told them about this. "Let's go..." Nat muttered, turning back around and leading Traci around to her 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO. Nat wasn't made of money, but she was materialistic and so the money she did have went towards her flashy pent and this stunning classic car. Oh, and clothes. Obviously. Nat helped Traci in, she even leant across and did her seatbelt up for her. Then she cupped her cheeks and dropped down so she could properly look her in her eyes. "You're staying with me for a while, okay? I'll take care of you, mon cheri..." She kissed her gently as her thumb rolled over her cheeks, wiping away her tears.

Traci

having natalia there once more to save her again.....traci felt lucky. she couldn't imagine what she would've went through if she didn't look for her at that bachelors party, if she didn't look for her now. she was a little bitch shaken up by both incidents, mostly now depending on the other on leading her away from the place and to her car. she just watched her stepped on the man's hand, which causes for traci to whimper and hide her face against her neck. natalia was still obviously fuming, she could feel it by how warm she is right now. nicola and avery....for sure they wouldn't let shit like this slide. she was then finally lead to her car after that, she cannot take a second longer to look at them anymore. she stares up at the older woman as she settled in her seat, nodding as the other looked at her in the eyes, wiping away her tears. she only replied with a tiny "okay." after that, the younger dancer just curled up in her seat while nat eventually drives off from the place.

Natalia

She had no idea how they could still be in this position, how their profession was still just seen as women who men could do whatever they wanted to. It was a profession, because Nat had never met any group of people who worked harder or with more passion that the people at Cherry Pop and Peppermints. So when this happened, when it kept happening... It made it impossible for Nat to not lose her cool. She was usually calm, collected... But not when it came to this. Not when it came to of the dancers, and especially Traci's, safety. Natalia could see how shaken up the younger woman was because of this, and it broke her head. She sighed gently, closing the car door and then going around and getting in the drivers side before turning the car on and driving away. The whole ride, she muttered to herself in French. About how she hated those kinds of men, how she was angry at herself for not getting there sooner. It's not long until they get to Nat's place, pulling into the private garage of the apartment block and parking up. Natalia came around to Traci and got her out of the car, taking her hand and leading her just quietly to the elevator that took them straight up to her penthosue. As soon as they were inside and the doors shut, she pulled Traci into a tight hug. "I got you, baby... You're safe..."

Traci

she shuts her eyes as, laying her head against the headrest as natalia drives off. traci's heart is still beating fast and she could still feel her body slightly shaking. being almost taken advantage of once more....it was already too much for her. she loved her work, she loved it with all her heart, but she despises this the most. once they've arrived and the older woman got her out of the car, she kept her eyes on the floor while she was led back up to the other dancer's penthouse. she stood close by her, holding on to her arm like her life depended on it. not a moment longer they were in her place and she was pulled into a hug right away, and then she started sobbing again. "nat...." she whimpers, burrowing her face against the taller woman's neck.

Natalia

By the time they've arrived at her apartment block, Natalia is a little more calm. The hushed ranting stopped and now she was just worried about Traci. She could remember how the other was following what happened a few years ago at the party they had escorted for... This was going to bring all of that back, and then add more too it. God, why were men so fucking entitled? She had to swallow those thoughts down though, she didn't want to be angry around Traci right now... She needed Nat's softer side, her caring and her love. She didn't need her temper, that would only make it worse. "Hey... Hey, I'm here baby..." She whispers into the top of Traci's head as she presses her lips to it, a hand coming up and stroking through her hair. "It's okay... It's over..." The doors of the elevator pinged and Nat led the younger dancer into her pent and through it straight to the bedroom. She cupped her cheek and wiped her tears away with her thumbs softly. "I'll never let anything happen to you, babygirl... You know that, right?" She muttered, words laced with her accent.

Traci

she grabs a handful of natalia's shirt and just held on it for her dear life, feeling like they were still there, and they were going to take her away. traci tries to calm her breathing down while the other kisses the top of her head. they're in a safe place now, no one could ever harm her. nat was right. but traci couldn't help but still be shaken up, struggling to be on her feet as she held on to the other for support. she couldn't help but think of what might've happened if she wasn't there, if she was all alone. though the older dancer was right. she just nods at her question, looking up at her pleadingly in the eyes. "t'ank you...." she whispers in reply. traci then tugs on her shirt. "m'still scared....tired and scared.... don't leave me alone....please...."

Natalia

She hated seeing Traci like this. She hated how helpless she felt when Traci was like this. The regret of not just shooting that fucking man shot through her mind, but she ultimately knew that that would have hurt her, Traci, the business and Nicola more than this was hurting her. When the younger dancer grabbed onto her shirt, Nat let her do so, pulling her in closer and rubbing her hand up and down her back gently shhing her. "You never need to thank me for looking after you, baby..." She said quietly. Nat furrowed her eyebrows a little when Traci asked her to not leave her alone. "I would never..." Nat uttered. "You can stay here as long as you like, as long as you need... In my arms, in my home, in my company... I need you to feel safe, my sweet... You are safe..." Nat kissed her softly before breaking them apart only to take her top off and then Nat's so that they could be closer, skin on skin. "You want to shower? Or you want to go straight to bed?"

Traci

she knew she didn't have to thank natalia, but traci couldn't help it, she has been there for her ever since she has started working at cherry pop, she has always been there to take care of her, to make sure she always gets what she needs, that she always feel safe and that she is indeed safe. she knew it would never be uttered, but they have this love for each other that's different above the rest, which is just.....something beyond the kind of love traci knew. they didn't have to say it, they both just knew it and they already understand without ever feeling the need to tell each other. she nods at her words once more, she's safe, she's always safe with natalia, and the woman would never dare to leave her. at the mention of the shower or bed, she immediately yawns, feeling the exhaustion finally take over her. "bed....m'tired....just want to sleep...." she gently shoves her face against her chest.

Natalia

Natalia had always been a protective kind of woman. When she was younger, it was over everyone threatened by the ruthless politics and policies her own Mother wanted to implement. It was in the protests in Paris that she first had to physically fight her own battles. Then, it was those she had grown close to, those back home who knew what she was doing and helped her in her fight. Then, after moving to America and taking up dancing and stripping and escorting, it was every other woman she acquainted herself with that couldn't fight their own battles on their own. Now, she had all of the dancers at Cherry and all of them at Peppermints too. But, Traci... The way she cared for Traci was far more than she had ever cared for any of the others. If monogamy was something she was into, she might even tell her how when she says ' i love you', she really does mean those three words... Something told her that Traci already knew that though. "Okay, my love... Come here," Nat pulled Traci in a little closer and then helped her out of the rest of her clothes before undressing herself and then led them both to her bed, getting in and pulling the covers right up to their shoulders as if it were a shield from the world. "I got you, babygirl..."

Traci

she lets the woman take off the rest of her clothes, kicking off her shoes before she was led to bed. traci immediately finds herself curled up in the arms of natalia, one of the few places where she felt the safest, like nothing can ever hurt her. she's one of the very few people she trusts with all her heart and her life. she clings on to natalia's body as if her life depends on it, burrowing her face against her neck. she yawned once more, looking at the other's face one more time before shutting her eyes close. "g'night, nat.....see you in the morning...."

Natalia

Nat pulls her in close, wrapping her arms around her and then gently playing with her hair as she sorts out a position to stay in. She can already feel Traci's body getting heavier in her arms, she can feel the adrenaline leave and the exhaustion come in. Nat's tired too, but those thoughts and that anger is still swirling around inside her. The older woman kisses her forehead gently as she closes her eyes, hand on the back of head burrowing her back into her neck softly. "Dors bien mon ange..." She whispers as she gently plays with her hair, holding her tightly until she finally feels Traci untense and fall into sleep.

#c; traci #d; youre safe #youre safe

[ruleroflimbo-a]

Soulless || Discord

Events: Kitty meets Darkchylde Date: a few days after NYE Involved: Illyana Rasputin/Darkchylde and Kitty Pryde @chicagospryde Mentioned: Donna Troy @ofcosmicwonder, Jean Grey @jeanelcinegrey Trigger warnings: death mention, injury tw, stabbing tw, feelings

DARKCHYLDE: With her soul gone all that was left behind was Darkchylde, the demonic part of her soul, the last remainder of it. Red skin, a tail, horns, glowing eyes, she almost didn’t look like herself anymore, her face was mostly the same, except for the eyes and the now almost empty look in it. Usually when she saw Katya her eyes lit up, always happy to see her but now, now that was gone along with her soul, her humanity. She looked at Katya almost like she was a stranger, she recognized her, but all the feelings, the warmth she felt whenever she was near her, it was all gone.

KITTY: To say a lot had happened recently was a severe understatement. It was a cacophony of neverending nightmares stacked one after the other. The Halls of Xavier’s felt less and less like the home she knew, the almost home she knew. Head pressed against the cold wood of the dining table, she sat like the just waiting for the sun to come up and force her to start a new day—unthinking of what horrors it might hold. She lifted her head and froze. There was something she had seen only briefly before, but someone she knew. Someone she could never forget. “Illyana?” She blinked, pushing up out of her seat and approaching tentatively. “You're—that's—uh, looking a little horny, are we?” Bad joke. She coughed, then noticed the lack of recognition in her glowing eyes. Not only did Kitty utter a bad joke, she found the worst time to do it. “Yana?”

DARKCHYLDE: “Not quite” a simple answer given with a voice that was not the one Katya knew, she wasn’t the person Katya knew anymore, she wasn’t a person anymore, she was a demon without a soul. “She’s gone” at least her soul was, all that was left now was a demon who resembled Illyana but had none of her feelings. “But you’re probably happy about that aren’t you?” Katya hadn’t seemed happy Illyana was back so she must be absolutely thrilled now. “I saved your friend… Donna is it? All it took was one soul” Darkchyle told her with a grin, if Katya hadn’t caught on to what was happening that clue was too big for anyone to miss, even someone as clueless as the woman she’d once considered her best friend. The woman she’d been in love with

KITTY: “G-gone? Like to the store or…” Humor; it wasn’t as comforting at Kitty had hoped. She swallowed thickly, looking at her friend—the demon, the creature, her friend. “N-no, I’m not—” the words caught in her throat as she stepped closer, against her better judgement. “Donna isn’t even my friend, I don’t get why you would—” because it was the right thing to do, probably. Even if she was just getting half a story, the rest she could piece together. Illyana was a hero, and Kitty was about to lose her twice because of it. “You—you’re not soulless…you can’t be..” denial, that was a funny thing. She raised her hand up, reaching out for Illyana’s face. “‘Yana? You’re in there…” she whimpered, finally pressing her hand to the demon’s cheek. “You just need to fight it. That’s how this works. If you fight long enough and hard enough it—” it wouldn’t make a difference.

DARKCHYLDE: “Oh, but I am” Darkchylde grinned, wanting to roll her eyes at how pathetic Katya was acting, she needed to accept that the Illyana she knew was gone and move on. “The weak girl you knew is gone, I didn’t put up much of a fight for my soul either” the demon shrugged, it was better like this, no feelings to worry about, not caring about anyone. “I don’t see why you’re upset, I died because of you, I’m this because of you. Really I should thank you, it’s such a relief not having feelings for you anymore.”

KITTY: Kitty’s hand snapped back, pulled to her chest as if burned. Her face twisted in pain, worse than any weapon could give her. “She—don’t you dare talk about her like that,” Kitty spat, but the resolve didn’t last, deflated the first second of challenge. “How is this—this isn’t my fault, this isn't—d-did you got after Donna because of me?”

DARKCHYLDE: The demon chuckled at Katya’s reaction, she couldn’t believe she’d ever had feelings for someone so pathetic. “Why not? I was weak, held back by feelings and humanity, ugh gross. But now, I’m strong, I’m not a weak pathetic little girl anymore” she spat out, the distaste for her human side very clear in her voice. “She was missing, Jean asked for help. But this might be how I lost my soul but it wasn’t the only factor, it’s been slowly disappearing ever since I was brought back, which hadn’t happened if you hadn’t let me die.”

KITTY: “Illyana is the strongest person I know and you can't—I know you’re in there, 'Yana. I know you are.” She had to be. If there was any hope to be had. Kitty gulped, letting the demon’s words wash over her. Whatever happened to Donna, she’d figure out later—she didn’t think the demon would give her a proper answer anyways. But what came after, the blame and hate, that was another story. “I know,” she breathed out, eyes wet with tears, “I know it’s my fault. Everything’s my fault. I never told Illyana how much she meant to me then and now it’s ruined and everything is my fault. I get it…” She sniffled, and, uncaring, reached her hand out again and held the demon’s face. “Please, Illyana, you need to fight this…whatever this is. Your soul can’t be gone it's—it’s the strongest thing I’ve ever felt. Where’s the soulsword, demon?”

DARKCHYLDE: “I was weak and pathetic, pining for my best friend who was too oblivious to notice” she rolled her eyes, she’d wasted so much time of her life on Katya, her human side was so pathetic, not that she had to worry about that any longer. Before, seeing Katya like this would have broken her heart, now it only made her roll her eyes at how pathetic it was. “Illyana is gone, she died when my soul was destroyed, you should move on, like you did when I died” the demon said as she removed Katya’s hands from her face. “I can’t call the sword without my soul, it’s gone” or maybe it had transferred to Jean, she wasn’t completely sure, not that she cared. “Why do you care about the sword, last I remember you tried to get rid of it.”

KITTY: “Illyana…she…she didn’t like me, not like…” Kitty gulped, it wasn’t what she should have been focusing on here but it was hard not to be. There was so much information and no time to process any of it. “I didn’t move on…” she sobbed softly, letting her hands get thrown at the wayside. “How do you think I could have moved on? Every death, all the people I’ve lost, I remember each and every bit of them.” And Illyana, her best friend, her first friend, she could never move on from that. “It hurt,” she explained, more honest now with a shell of Illyana than she ever was with the real one. “I could feel the sword with me and everyday I had to wake up knowing you weren’t here and it was all my fault and I was too weak to live with that.” She sobbed, then shook her head. “Illyana, this stopped being funny a few minutes ago. If you’re going to show your face you better do it now before I…I…sell your makeup on ebay.” A weak threat, but there was little Kitty could do staring up at the demon with her hands shaking at her sides and her face flushed as she cried.

DARKCHYLDE: “She loved you, I loved you” the demon replied, though whatever feelings she had for the other woman was gone or replaced by distaste. “Well, you seemed unhappy when I came back, I thought you’d be happy now, Illyana is gone and your girlfriend or whatever is safe” really this was a win for Katya, it would just go back to how things had been for the last three years, with Illyana dead. “You tried to get rid of it, and that hurt me. I didn’t remember before but now I do” she said as she stepped closer to her former friend “I was in hell for three years, and I’m not talking about Limbo. It wasn’t so bad at first, I could feel your presence which made it bearable, until you tried to get rid of my sword” another step closer “every time you did your presence would get weaker and weaker until it was gone” after that hell had almost been unbearable, if she had remembered she wasn’t sure how she would have been when she came back, though now, none of that matter, Darkchylde was stronger than Illyana, it didn’t affect her. “Is this better?” She asked as she cast an illusion spell, to make Katya see Illyana and not the demon she was now “no matter how I look, it won’t change the fact that Illyana is gone.”

KITTY: "Donna's not my—I'm straight it's not—" arguing it now seemed beyond reason, so Kitty let out a shaky exhale and moved on. Logically, some part of her told her that this demon was only saying things to hurt—cutting deep into Kitty's trauma and twisting it. But Kitty couldn't face logic, logic didn't help when your friend was a soulless demon. "You—" Kitty froze, the demon's words washed over her. Her pain had been one thing, knowing she'd caused Illyana pain because she was too weak to shoulder the feeling of her dead friend was another. Then there was the illusion, Illyana's face clear as day—eyes devoid of emotion, voice sharp. "I love you too," she said, voice trembling, "I don't know what way—I don't know a lot of things. But you're my best friend and I—" she gulped, "I don't deserve you." She brushed past the demon, a fit of crying had morphed into something darker—something hopeless. "If I give you my soul, will you bring her back?"

DARKCHYLDE: “Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?” She’d always wondered who Katya was trying to convince when she said that, not that she cared anymore. She rolled her eyes, of course even when it was spelled out for her Katya would be obvious to what she meant, honestly she wasn’t surprised. When Katya offered to give her own soul in exchange for Illyana’s the demon grinned. She stepped in front of Katya, placing her index finger under her chin and lifted it to make her look at her “you’re willing to give up your soul to have her back?” It would be fun, taking her soul, Illyana’s pain when she woke up an realized would be worth it, but unfortunately that’s not how things work. “That’s sweet but what’s stopping me from taking your soul and not bring her back?”

KITTY: Kitty squeaked as she was touched, a whimper died away under surprise. She stared up into soulless eyes before a grin broke, hopeful. “You’re not a very good demon, are you? Does it mean you still care if you warn instead of just tricking me?” Did it mean Illyana was still there, somewhere, fighting? Did it also means everything she’d said was right? Kitty shoved the feelings away and propelled herself forward, pressing her lips to the demon’s in a desperate kiss—did it mean anything at all?

DARKCHYLDE: “It means I can’t do what you’re asking anyway” she replied, rolling her eyes. What Katya did next she hadn’t expected, she’d imagined what it’d be like to kiss her several times, when she still had a soul. She briefly kissed her back before she grabbed Katya’s arms to pull her away, her eyes had returned to normal and she looked at the woman with a slight smile before her eyes started glowing again. Maybe there was a small piece of Illyana’s soul left, though soon enough that would be gone too. Until it was thought it meant she could still summon the soulsword and wasn’t that an interesting development. Darkchylde closed the distance again, pressing her lips against Katya’s while summoning the sword into her hand, it wasn’t as big anymore. She pulled back as she drove the sword into Katya’s side, the wound wouldn’t be that bad, just enough to send a message.

KITTY: It was a dumb idea, she knew it. She could feel Darkchylde's lips against her and the wrongness of it all. "Illyana..." she whispered, eyes fluttering open to a familiar sight. So, maybe it wasn't such a dumb idea? It didn't matter, Kitty wasn't thinking. The joy of seeing Illyana again overtook any other emotion and she leaned in just as the demon had. "Illyana..." She murmured against her, "'Yana..." And then she could feel pain at her side, for a moment she didn't want to move away even to check but as the pain free she had to tear herself away. She drew a hand up to her side, stumbled away and brought her hand up to stare at blood. The rest came rushing into her mind. The sword. The sword being thrust into her. So, it was a bad idea. "You—" she garbled, falling to the floor. "You have your sword." That blind optimism never served her well, and so she swallowed it as quick as it'd come. "I just want her back."

DARKCHYLDE: "You did have her back" she said as she crouched down in front of Katya "but all you did was push her away, it's a shame" she commented as she pressed her hand against the wound, hard enough to make it hurt, maybe part of it was to stop the bleeding but that was only a very small part. "Maybe if you hadn't poor Illyana would have fought harder to keep her soul instead of giving it up so easily."

KITTY: Kitty groaned, wincing through gritted teeth. There was no sense in arguing with the demon, everything she said was right. There was no sense in doing anything. Through pain and anger, remorse and sadness, she cried. "I just want her back," she repeated, no longer feeling the strength for words. "Give her back."

DARKCHYLDE: "She's gone" the demon said as she brought her hand to wipe away Katya's tears, it was a small part, but that small part of her didn't like seeing her cry, but it didn't matter, she doubted it'd take long before that part was also gone. She needed to figure out a way too hold on to her soulsword before that happened. "There's no power that can bring her back now" even if there was, why would she ever want that weak part of herself back? "You need to move on" she replaced the hand she held against the wound with a towel she'd found on the table before she teleported back to Limbo

#c: kitty #kitty: soulless #discord: soulless #death mention tw #injury tw #stabbing tw

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations, GHOST! You’ve been accepted as PAN.

I’ll be honest, Ghost, when I say Eoin wasn’t originally a character whose skeleton brought out some deep emotional connection in me while I wrote it. But really, that made me all the more excited to see what someone would come up with, especially when I read your app and you made me really feel for Eoin. You gave his fighting a reason and brought direction to anger and made me want to know what’s next for him. I can’t wait for you to show me that on the dash, now!

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

Out of Character Information:

NAME/ALIAS: Ghost

PRONOUNS: He/him

AGE: 30

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: CET, but mostly operate on American terms; while I try to put in 100% where activity is concerned, I’m at the whims and mercy of both autism and ADHD, so it’s what it is

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Eoin Dougherty / Pan

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Cis man, he/him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS:

Pan, god of the wild, and wild he is. Eoin Dougherty hasn’t historically been an easy person to deal with. He’s the still waters that hold deep, dragging depths; the cyanide in your drink as your nose detects the bitter almonds, but far too late; the thick mist with the sense of danger beyond what you can see. It would be a lot safer for everyone involved if he was outwardly as wild as the mess of emotion inside him. But on the surface, he’s calm, unassuming, not someone you’d accuse of discord. It’s the calm on the surface that makes him unpredictable, and Eoin isn’t one to give out his thoughts and opinions for free. He listens, he watches, and when he disagrees, he’ll let you know, with actions rather than words. He’s the trouble in his own life, and his problems exist simply because he acts before he speaks — one day you’ll assume you’re okay, the next you’re getting your ribs beaten in with a four-by-four in a back alley. Anyone might think that he’s a very together person, quiet and good at following orders, but inside he’s an ever raging storm of dissent, of mistrust, of toeing the line and going a little further. The acid that drips until it’s burnt a hole through your fuse box, lighting up your whole house.

BIO: (tw: abuse)

Eoin had a rough start. Born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts, his parents were a (self-)righteous cop and a housewife trying to keep the household together. Getting by on a cop’s salary was hard on everyone involved, and it would’ve worked out fine if his mother didn’t have to bear the brunt of his father’s rage. Perhaps it was a feeling of inadequacy, or frustration with the way his life stagnated, or feeling failed by society despite putting his life on the line every day, or perhaps it was a combination of all of the above; Eoin never bothered to psychoanalyse his father, and furthermore, never really came to a point where he thought he deserved it. Whatever the reason or non-reason, it lead his parents to fight almost every night. He and his mother would walk on eggshells whenever his father was at home, and the slightly comment or look would set him off. He’d had to watch his father’s fist connect with his mother’s face far too many times in his lifetime, had to listen to his mother cry quietly as he crawled into bed with her — the only way he knew how to comfort her.

From a young age, Eoin knew something was different about him. After another violent night, hearing his parents yelling at each other, there would be tiny handprints in his stuffed animals. His plastic soldiers would turn into a molten, bubbling mess in his hands as he listened to the cries of his mother and the rage of his father, alone in his room. He was almost a teenager when his father forbade his mother to buy him any more toys; the assumption was that he was breaking them on purpose and thus didn’t deserve nice things.

Teenage years didn’t bring much improvement. Eoin was quiet and never participated in class. He had no friends, so he was an easy target for bullies — or so everyone thought. Fighting became more and more common for him, and by the time he was fourteen, Eoin Dougherty was a name well-known by staff and his principle. His father accused his mother of being too soft on him, except his mother was the only one who didn’t blame him for the dark shadows in his eyes. His mother would always be his soft spot, his laughter and smiles, his safe place. When his father had to work late were the happiest nights for both of them, watching movies and eating popcorn until he fell asleep in her arms.

One night changed everything, as often it does when dramatic things happen. Another day at school of fighting, his upper lip still bloody, knuckles still busted, it hadn’t been his mother who had picked him up from school. It hadn’t been the soft sigh of his name, a gentle hand on his cheek, the sweet voice telling him he couldn’t keep doing this. Instead, it had been his father. The soft sigh was an angry growl, the gentle hand was a slap, and the sweet voice was a snarl telling him what a continuous disappointment he proved himself to be. Dragged out of the car by his hair, he would’ve been at the wrong end of his father’s wrath if his mother hadn’t intervened for his sake and taken the brunt of it.

There was something about seeing his father’s hand around his mother’s throat, about her head banging into the wall, about the blood dripping down her temple, that made something snap in Eoin’s gut. Without so much as a word, Eoin had grabbed his father’s face, and like the plastic soldiers from his childhood, watched his father’s face melt away without so much as a blink or a twitch of the eye, to the chorus of screaming from both his parents.

The thing with cops was that they backed each other up, so the news of his father’s death — visceral murder, really — didn’t go over well at the station. Eoin and his mother knew that this would put him away for a very long time under normal circumstances, but they’d both heard the stories about mutants and the rumours what would become of them. His mother had told him to keep his mouth shut whatever happened, and that’s what Eoin did. Even as the police arrived, even as she explained what happened, even as she told them how she’d poured the acid on her husband’s face, having snapped after the years of domestic abuse.

The sentence was fifteen years in prison, and her son cast off into the foster care system, with no extended family who would touch that particular situation with a fifty-foot pole. His secret was safe, but that was the only thing that was safe.

No foster family would have him long enough for him to settle and find some sense of normalisation, so Eoin spent most of his time out on the street, doing everything illegal and then some. Drugs, breaking and entering, assault, battery, theft, carjacking, even extortion. By the time he was eighteen, he’d made as many friends as he had enemies, and the system ejected him like trash — no prospects, he was a high school dropout with a mean streak, a reputation, and a talent for winning and ending fights. If things had gone on as they had, he would’ve lived a hard, fast life and a short one at that.

But they didn’t go on; a few years on the street, a person with a bone to pick seeing his powers and outing him as a mutant, life on the street turned into life on the road, dodging authorities and anyone who would care enough to out him or snatch him off the street, whisk him away to some unknown place to do who knows what with him. He trusted no one, and everyone was suspicious. Even as he arrived in Chicago, more lenient to his kind, and got in league with the Collective, trust was far from Eoin’s mind. He did as he was told, went where he was ordered, and watched, listened.

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS:

STELLA LI — Eoin is used to being a disappointment. Overall, that’s where he dwells, doesn’t care to prove otherwise, because giving people standards meant having something to live up to, and that just wasn’t what he cared to do. Eternal underachiever, maybe. But Stella boils his blood, not because he doesn’t want to disappoint them, but because he was written off on one mistake, a mistake that wasn’t technically even his mistake. What pisses him off even more is that he wants to prove he’s more than just that one incident, that he cares so much to try to lift himself from the disappointment he’s marinated in all his life, and prove to them that he’s more. Better. Problem is, he barely even believes it himself on the best of days, and they’re so… infuriating.

GERRARD BERMUDEZ — If there’s one thing Eoin knows how to do, it’s fight. When the offer comes, he doesn’t really think twice about it. He’s an unknown in this city, or at least, he doesn’t think Gerrard knows about his surface allegiances — his loyalty isn’t very easily handed out, after all — and it’s a good opportunity to flush things out of his system, to not go soft, a throwback to when life was… well, just a little bit easier. Does he trust Gerrard? Absolutely not, not nearly as far as he can throw them, but he doesn’t have to trust anyone to take advantage of a good thing. After all, isn’t that how he ended up with the Collective in the first place?

EXTRA: [Here] is mockblog. [Here] is pinterest. [Here] is playlist.

Worn leather jackets, hoodies, ripped jeans, and boots is basically Eoin’s aesthetic, he looks like he walked out of a trash heap and he’s not about to correct people, because that requires speaking to them.

He’s not a bad person per se, he just doesn’t care for authority or law or being told what to do, really, and if the fastest way to get from point A to B is illegal, well, then, call him a criminal, I guess.

There’s this thing about his powers in that… it’s like a tension that builds up in his body, and the longer he goes without letting it out, the more agitated he gets. Every now and then he just… needs to let it out, and it’s the best feeling ever.

Eoin often wears earphones, even when he’s not listening to music. There’s nothing more annoying to him than having to remove one because some asshole feels entitled to his attention. Fuck off.

Is there anything he owns that doesn’t have a hole or two in them? Probably not.

He’s a functional addict. Functional in the way that, most days he’s fine and he can manage without, and then one day shit gets too much and he just gets absolutely fucked up with anything he gets his hands on, and spends the next day or two out of his goddamn mind. Self-care.

Don’t tell him he isn’t allowed to do something. He will look at you pointedly and do exactly that thing.

Does he like that everyone thinks of him as a disappointment? No. Does he care enough to prove to people he’s more than that? Also no.

You can call him a bastard every day for a month and nothing happens, and then one day he rips off your jaw because he’s Had Enough.

ANYTHING ELSE: No. Kiss.

#accepted #accepted: pan

[96xie]

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

[danishprince]

redid this 92 questions meme from 4 years ago for Fun and Profit because i like seeing how much i’ve changed over the years. not tagging anyone, but if you want to answer the questions, go wild

what was your…

last beverage? woter

last phone call? a confidential call to a research lab at my university because they’re studying alcohol use in young adults and wanted to know if i fit the criteria to be in the study (i do, so i get money for it fuck yeah)

last text message? i told my dad that our neighbors got two of their trees cut down and his response was “Wwwow”

last song listened to? currently listening to “evening prayer aka justice” by ezra furman!

last time you cried? maybe like saturday or sunday? not really sure

have you ever…

dated someone twice? nah

been cheated on? don’t believe so

kissed someone and regretted it? eh i’ve had a few kisses that i look back and kinda cringe at because we were really drunk or i was Not Into Them or whatever, but actually, truly regret? no. 

lost someone special? it’s been awhile since anyone close to me died. my maternal grandma (and step-grandpa) are getting pretty old/less healthy though so i’m like starting to already feel weird snatches of anticipatory grief for that which :/

been depressed? i’d say so yeah, on occasion

been drunk and vomited? fun story i briefly thought i was allergic to alcohol freshman year because i’d throw up every time i drank. TURNS OUT however i just was a dumbass who didn’t know how to hold their liquor

list three favourite colors: hot pink, teal, black

in the last year, have you…

made a new friend? yes indeed

fallen out of love? cannot say that i have

laughed so hard there were tears? oh constantly. though i do that regularly because of the dumbest shit, so that’s not, like, an anomaly

met someone who changed you? YES the professor of my psych lab whom i ADORE

found out who your true friends are? yeah, or at least i feel way more comfortable and grounded in my friendships than i did. which is cool!

found out someone was talking about you? i overheard my coworker at our (drama-filled, my god) orientation leader job bitching about some other coworkers, but then what she said about me was “yeah katie’s pretty cool” so i was like :) :) neat

kissed anyone on your facebook “friend list”? hell yeah babey

general questions.

how many of your facebook friends do you know in person? the vast majority. there’s a few Spelling Bee Kids who’ve just added me for Spelling Bee Clout that i don’t know irl, but otherwise i don’t really add people i don’t know

how many siblings do you have? 1 (one) 16-year-old bröther

do you have any pets? 1 (one) very old round guinea pig named hamlet

do you want to change your name? eh not really. i’m not, like, obsessed with it, but it’s a decent name and i have no urge to change it

what did you do for your last birthday? i turned 21, but it was a monday, so i went to a restaurant with three of my friends and ordered 1 (one) Alcoholic Beverage. then later that week i went to a coffee bar that serves alcohol later at night with some of my other friends and had more Alcoholic Beverages there

when did you wake up today? 9:30ish

what were you doing at midnight last night? being asleep lmao

something you cannot wait for: going to arizona and later going back to kentucky for senior year of college (holy fuck)

when did you last see your mother? like 15 minutes ago, she’s doing laundry or something

what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? where 2 begin. uhh i wish i was more naturally outgoing instead of having to consciously turn on my Extrovert Persona in certain scenarios and end up getting super drained from it. i also wish i knew what the fuck i was doing with my life but i think that’s just, like, The Eternal Twenty-Something Mood (at least i hope it is dear god)

what are you listening to right now? the song “rodeo” by lil nas x, which PERSONALLY said gay rights

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yes multiple, and every tom(my) i have hated (sorry if you’re a tom and you’re a decent human bean)

what’s getting on your nerves right now? i have to do a bunch of important life and school stuff but i am procrastinating it! so i guess...my brain

most visited webpages: twitter, tumblr, discord, instagram, the dear prudence advice column on slate dot com lmfao

blood type: o+ i believe, but i am too smol to donate blood so i do not know for sure :(

nicknames: some of my friends refer to me over text as k8e and i love it tbh. also katie itself is a nickname

relationship status: single but like, kind of a thot

zodiac sign: virgo sun cancer moon cancer rising 

pronoun: they/them but she/her is also fine

primary school: private lutheran school

middle school: the same private lutheran school

high school: public school

college: university of kentucky for undergrad and also a concurrent grad program (long story). maybe more grad school???? somewhere else??? or not???? I Don’t Know

hair colour: honey blonde

long or short: hair? just got it cut short in january and it was the best decision i ever made

height: 5’6"

do you have a crush on someone? define “crush”

what do you like about yourself? i’m a good listener and writer and also sometimes my Funney Joaks land

do you have any tattoos? nah. i am afear’d i’d regret it

are you right- or left-handed? right-handed

first surgery: some ear procedure thing in kindergarten. if that doesn’t count i got half my wisdom teeth out the summer before college and the other half the summer after freshman year (but was technically awake for both) 

first piercing: ear piercings when i turned sixteen

first best friend: uhhhhh my friend stephanie from home-preschool? or this girl named grace who was my kindergarten best friend but then moved away

first sport you joined: i believe dance classes when i was but a little peanut

first vacation: idk? we went to san diego when i was two i think? don’t remember it though

first pair of trainers/sneakers: good question. had some boss-ass light-up shoes once 

right now i am…

eating: popped corn

drinking: woter 

about to: hopefully write this [bernie sanders voice] damn email, but who is to say : - )

listening to: my liked songs on spotify (currently “i think i’m going to kill myself” by elton john)

interested in having children? if that’s how the proverbial cookie proverbially crumbles, yeah. that idea seems really far away even though i know high school classmates with kids.

interested in getting married? yes, but if and only if i meet the right person

ready for a career or have one? [sobbing]

which is better…?

lips or eyes? eyes generally, but lips are also Good

hugs or kisses? k i s s e s. i lov to kiss. love hugs too though if it’s with friends

shorter or taller? actually being a similar height to me is optimal! 

older or younger? mmm i tend to subconsciously lean older, but younger is fine too

romantic or spontaneous? the wording seems to imply that “romantic” and “spontaneous” are opposites which just isn’t true. both?? 

nice stomach or nice arms? arms i guess?

sensitive or loud? my first impulse was “loud” but like....loud in that i tend to gravitate to people who are more extroverted than me, but not in terms of being overtly annoying or demanding.

hook-up or relationship? :^) judging by my History(tm) it’d be committed hook-up, lol. but like either is good. am not about sex with a stranger though.

troublemaker or hesitant? troublemaker ~vibes~ but not actually, like, a danger in any way. being hesitant can be cute, but i myself am often pretty hesitant so it can become an Awkwardness Standoff more often than not

have you ever…

kissed a stranger? no, but came damn close in greece

drunk hard liquor? oh yeah lmao

lost glasses or contacts? i’m sure i’ve lost a pair of contacts somewhere in there

had sex on the first date? depends on your definition of “sex”, and also on your definition of “date” really, but also Yeah

broken someone’s heart? i hope not, but i think maybe :/

had your own heart broken? ....ish?

been arrested? nope

turned someone down? yyyyyyep

cried when someone died? not in my memory? though i might have

fallen for a friend? :^) haha oh yeah

do you believe in…

yourself? i try oh my god do i try

miracles? i think

love at first sight? nah. i think intrigue at first sight is a thing, or lust at first sight, or even just a bizarre extraterrestrial sense of Knowing, but real genuine love? nahhhh son you gotta know someone deeply for that. mortifying ordeal of being known and all that

heaven? mm yeah i’d say so

santa claus? no, and i haven’t for a hot minute there

kissing on the first date? lol yeah kiss away

angels? fuck yeah sometimes they’re circle things with 56879879677 eyes and they’re cool af

well in review i have indeed changed quite a bit from myself four years ago! in summary i am more of a thot and also drink alcohol. idk. my answers then ~seemed~ more sure of myself in terms of, like, this façade of being chill all the time, but less sure re: how i related to other people. all my angst on those questions was about school instead of general personhood. 4 years ago i also definitely /remember/ being insecure (at the time) about the fact that i’d never kissed anyone/etc., but my answers themselves don’t look that way. (sidenote being insecure about that kind of thing really isn’t worth it, everyone does life at their own pace.) whereas now i feel more open actively discussing my insecurities (see above re: future plans/etc.) instead of just boxing them down and pretending they don’t exist. as a high schooler i thought i was bad at being a person, and i feel like i’m a lot better at being authentic with myself (and ergo, being a person) now. though of course there is no right way to be a person which is something i still frequently have to remind myself.

ANYWAY yeah that was a fun waste of an hour feel free to use these questions for yrself

#tag meme #personal #92 questions #about me

[voicesfrommysoul]

Writing Is Hard, Like Damn Hard

Today, the writing discord I’m apart had it’s monthly 24hour-Write-A-Thon today. (Yep, we’re that crazy!) and it started out alright…

… Until I fell apart.

I honestly can’t explain what happened. I was writing, and then I was crying. Just like that.

So far today, I’ve cried twice (though I can feel the tears threatening to fall as I write this, so… three times, I guess.) I got to the stage where I questioned why I was putting myself through this, gathered up all my notebooks and threw them away.

I threw my writing in the bin. In an actual bin. Thank God for my mum, who when told what I had done (I was busy crying to notice what my roommate was doing), came over, saved my work and pulled me together.

I’m really not sure what caused the complete breakdown today. I started two new original projects (one is going better than the other), I’ve written nearly 3,000 words and yet… I’m not happy with myself. With the work, I’ve done.

Project A (The fantasy project) started off really strong. I enjoyed the characters, the conversations they were having and exploring how they saw this brand new world. When I got to the characters I’ve been developing, something changed.

I can’t put my finger on what. I’m trying to work it out as I write this, but, I have this planned. I know where the story is going. The outline is mostly done.

So why, can’t I get passed the second chapter?

Then, there is my baby, The Dusty Sky. No matter what I do, that keeps calling my name. I opened the file today to back it up and start pricing how much printing out the first draft would cost. It was the first time I’ve opened it in a week.

I’ve missed them. I miss them. I miss writing the main characters. There are chapters I just want to dive into a tighten up and make it shine.

I actually want to edit something. No, it’s more than that, I want to dive into the second draft and start putting some of the ideas and fixes into action. I want to write Jo and Zach again.

I’m obsessed, it feels like an obsession. Is this how real writers feel?

But, I wanted to write my thoughts down, mostly because we all cry writing is hard and it’s true. Writing is hard. It’s a hard, often lonely job. There’s no one but you and empty page.

I’ve been watching other writers on Youtube, and while it’s amazing to watch then grow, the temptation to compare myself to them is unbearable.

This Youtuber works from home, drives, travels and manages to write!

That Youtuber averages over a thousand words a day!

This Youtuber wrote X amount in a challenge!

All these other writers look happy and seem to be doing well with high word counts.

Then I look at me, and now my draft is finished. What am I doing? I’m lucky if I write a hundred words a day. My daily average word count has taken a huge nose dive into nothing.

If a friend came to me and told me they were having a bad writing day, I would tell them not to compare themselves to other writers. That they are doing the best that they can and that’s enough.

I don’t believe any of that when I have to tell myself that.

I’m hard on myself because I want to make my family proud. I want to prove that after all of these years, I can actually write. That they haven’t put up with me talking about writing non step since I was five has been worth it.

I want to prove to myself I can do it.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a less emotional day. Hopefully, my self-confidence will return and I’ll remember that having a bad day isn’t letting anyone down.

Maybe. Hopefully.

Writing is hard. It’s emotionally and mentally hard. If you’re reading this and you’re also struggling. I have faith in you, I believe in you and I hope your day gets better too.

Be kind to yourself.

#writing #writing is hard #writing journey #emotions #personal #be kind to yourself

[snarkyperson]

breathe the dream within

Everyone (except Vel) thought I was crazy to get a third cat.  My mom called me irresponsible.  She especially thinks it’s stupid to go all the way to Connecticut for a cat.  I have tried multiple times to explain that through Kitten Academy, we get to learn about a kitten’s personality in a way you can’t by just walking into a shelter for 30 minutes.  I watched Twiddle (now Thatcher) be born.  I have watched him every day for three months.  I knew what kind of cat I wanted and I knew what kind of cat Thatcher was.

I am changing medications due to an insurance issue.  I was on Latuda and Trintillex and I had to stop both abruptly because my insurance wouldn’t cover them.  My psychiatrist put me on lithium instead and he swears this will solve all my problems.  This started just over two weeks ago, and once I stopped taking Latuda and Trintillex I had a huge crash.  It was worst about three days before I was set to leave for Connecticut.  I felt so terrible that I almost called the whole thing off.  I was a ball of anxiety - what if I crashed on the drive?  What if Thatcher doesn’t like me?  What if the boys hate him?  On and on and on, until my roommate was ready to strangle me.  But I couldn’t shut it off.  I wasn’t sleeping because my mind was spinning and I felt so depressed that I was sure I wouldn’t be able to pull it together to actually go pick Thatcher up.

In the end I went.  I slept about three hours the night before leaving and woke up an hour later than I had planned, so the trip already seemed doomed.  But I went.  I drove straight through to get there, about 8 hours.  I had to drive through New York City which was a harrowing ordeal, especially done at rush hour.  But I finally made it to Shelton, CT and my very nice hotel room.  I ordered some food, tried to calm my nerves, and tried to sleep.

I was scheduled to be at Kitten Academy at noon.  I fussed over my appearance for about half an hour, knowing I would be on camera for hundreds of people to see.  Literally hundreds.  The average live stream has about 500 viewers, but it always goes up during an adoption.  Luckily since I had been to KA before (when they were outside Chicago) I wasn’t overly nervous to meet Mr. A again.  He was very nice, as he always is, and let me see the Tinypants (so small!  so cute!!) and all the faculty we could find.  Ari absolutely loved me this time.  He rolled around on my paperwork and sat on the carrier like he wanted to come with me and let me pet him endlessly.  What a sweetheart, and my new favorite faculty member (sorry Eddie).

Then it was time to meet Thatcher.  The moment of truth.  Would he run from me?  Hide?  Hiss?  He didn’t do any of those things.  He was very cautious, of course, but he let me pet him and he sniffed at me a bit.  And then, like no time had passed at all, it was time to go.  I felt very bad for Mr. A; judging by how much he snuggled and smooched Thatcher before we left, I could tell he would miss him a lot.  

We only drove about 3.5 hours the first day, stopping in Philadelphia.  Thatcher cried for about the first half hour, then he calmed down and slept.  When we got to the hotel, he sniffed around and then went back in the carrier.  He wouldn’t eat, drink, or use the litter box, and I was scared but I didn’t push him.  Eventually he did come out of the carrier, and that was when my heart melted.  I was sitting on the foot of the bed, giving updates on the KA discord about the trip, and Thatcher jumped up on the bed with me.  He let me pet him for a bit, and then I went back to my phone.  Then he stretched up with his paws on my shoulder and nose bumped me.  From that moment I knew I was lost.  

It only got better.  We played (I brought da bee just for him, and he loved it) and I learned he likes to play fetch with his little flat beaver and likes to make a nest of toys on the bed.  Then, when I was lying down, he came and snuggled up right against me, pressed against my side under my arm.  He slept with me all night, pressed against me.  It reminded me of when I went to pick up Wain and Haby and that night they slept curled up next to me even though I was convinced they would ignore me all night.

The next day, I dallied around for a while in bed because Thatcher was snuggling with me and I was worried that when we got home, the spell would be broken.  But eventually we had to leave for our 4.5 hour remaining drive.  Luckily we had no problems.  When we got home, I set the carrier on the floor for Wain and Haby to sniff.  All three seemed interested but not aggressive, which I took as a good sign.  I did eventually let Thatcher out (only for about 10 minutes).  He and Wain bonded instantly; he rubbed up all over Wain, Wain sniffed his butt a lot, and they were instantly friends.  Haby, though, was a lot more reticent.  After a little bit, I put Thatcher in my room and left Wain and Haby out in the living room.  

That night, I was convinced Thatcher was going to ignore me in favor of all the cool stuff (like the cat tree) I have in my room that the hotel didn’t have.  But he surprised me; he came up on the bed, snuggled up with me, went to sleep, and slept with me all night again.  I was convinced it was too good to be true, but there it was.

The next day, I let Thatcher out of my room again so he could integrate with the boys.  Haby wasn’t having it; he was all hisses and mad.  Wain was happy to have a new friend, and Thatcher was excited to have some new cats to play with.  I watched them all day and they didn’t fight.  They did play a lot (except Haby, mostly), and ridiculously, I found myself jealous of Wain and Haby because Thatcher was so excited to be with them and seemed to forget all about me.  I knew, then, that the dream was over.  But I comforted myself with the fact that he was a happy kitten, and tried to go about my business.  I laid on my bed and watched some YouTube videos.  About halfway through my first one, Thatcher jumped up on the bed and meowed at me to pet him.  I did, and he settled down and went to sleep cuddled up with me again.  I was shocked and delighted and, a little bit, hopeful.  He slept with me that night again.

That brings us to today.  I have had them all together all day with no problems, and despite being tackled multiple times, Haby only hissed twice.  Tonight I am going to be brave and have them all in my room together, hoping that if anyone fights it will wake me up so I can break it up.  Again Thatcher was overjoyed to play with the boys, and again I thought to myself, “This is it, this is where he starts ignoring me.”  But just like yesterday, he did come up and snuggle with me and go to sleep.  

This all has got me thinking.  Wain and Haby are independent cats, and have only gotten more independent as they have gotten older.  They both used to snuggle a lot more when I first got them, and that is why I keep worrying that Thatcher is going to stop snuggling with me.  But I wonder, was that my fault?  I got them two weeks after Boris died, and as happy as I was to adopt them, I was still deep in grief about Boris.  The following weeks were hard.  I tried to bond with them by playing and petting and treats and all the things you’re supposed to do, but I found myself getting resentful because they weren’t Boris and they didn’t do Boris things.  So I wonder, did I unintentionally, and unknowingly, push them away?  Is that why they are so aloof from me?  It might be my fault they are not the snugglers I wanted.  I don’t know.

Regardless, Thatcher is a snuggler.  Hopefully he will continue to be; I am certainly encouraging it.  And having a cat come to me, ask me for attention, snuggle with me, choose ME, makes my heart so full.  And I realized this morning that I don’t feel sad right now, and for the first time since Boris died, I don’t feel empty.  “Pets are therapy,” my psychiatrist said.  I didn’t realize how right he was.

#personal #pets

[castellankurze]

A Completely Normal Wake-up Call

More of the anime stuff.  I’m gonna stop the tagging cause it just gets posted in the relevant discord anyway.  Had to rewrite the whole damn thing because my hard drive died when it was 80% done. Most recent story regarding Shouko Kogawa and the Completely Normal Study Group, taking place in...March...2019? . . . maybe?

You’ll see.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The first few moments after their arrival were pure hell.

It was so dark that one couldn't see a hand in front of one's face, genuine pitch-blackness.  Shouko instinctively closed her hands around thin air and her daggers ignited with a snap-hiss of flame, throwing everything into view in a flickering red-orange light that, while it made things visible, did nothing to help with the mood of fear and panic.  Fortunately, Reika was quick to pick up on the idea, and the softer, steadier glow of her spear helped to further illuminate things, as did Shizuka's katana when she drew it and brought forth the blade's simmering eldritch shimmer.  

Then there was no time to think for awhile.  Erika was crumpling to the ground, unable to stand on her remaining leg, and Miyumi was clutching her shoulder and Kanako struggled to help Erika with her good arm.  Saika rushed to Erika first, trying to help Kanako staunch the bleeding and try to get her healing to patch her back up.  Shouko stood by to support...and occasionally to give quiet thanks that her daggers emitted flame.

A couple of phones came out, but there seemed to be no reception wherever they were, and so they got pressed into service as extra lights until the group could move somewhere they could call for help.  As things began to settle, Shouko forced herself to turn away from her injured friends, trying totake a look around.  They were in a cave, as far as she could tell - bare, craggy stone curving up into a wall high above them, while a yawning blackness reached off into a pair of directions.  A few stalactites hung from the ceiling like giant teeth, a handful of stalagmites reaching up likewise from the cave floor, but whatever dripping water had created the stone formation had long ago dried up - everything was gritty and dry.

A set of snapping fingers pulled Shouko's attention back towards the group to where Reika was kneeling with her younger sister's head cradled in her lap.  As she caught Shouko's gaze she stopped snapping her fingers and waggled them in her direction.  "You, knife girl.  You're the least beat-up, take the swordswoman here and find out where the hell we are."

Shouko's temper briefly flared, but she brought it under control quickly.  Reika wasn't going to leave Miyumi lying there, and her spear was needed for Saika to see what she was doing.  And she was right - they really did need to find out where Count McFuckface had thrown them off to.  So she nodded and briefly stepped close to whisper a few words into Saika's ear, prompting her to look up and smile weakly, mouthing a few words back.  Then she turned to Shizuka, who as per usual refused to meet her gaze head-on and instead had already taken a few steps towards one of the openings.

The pair walked for a few seconds down the tunnel, but found their efforts soon stymied as the cave narrowed further and further, until it was little more than a crevice that even Miyumi at her best would have struggled to squirm through.  It did serve one purpose, though, as Shizuka quietly noted feeling a breeze, and when Shouko held up one dagger she could see the flames drifting slightly towards the crack, meaning the wind was coming from the other way.  So the other way they went, passing by the others and warning them of the dead end.

Shizuka's shoes and Shouko's boots crunched on the scrabbly stone with every step, echoing hollowly back at them, and as the darkness of the cave swallowed the light from Reika's spear and the phones, the oppressive darkness and craggy rock closed in around the pair.  Shouko had to swallow a rising fear as images flashed through her head.  What if they'd ended up miles below the surface and they never found a way out?  What if the cave just branched, and branched, and branched and they never found the right passage back?

"Sh," she hissed at herself.

"Hm?" Shizuka asked, pausing briefly.

"Nothing," she said, and the pair moved on.  Shizuka, characteristically, hadn't even turned to look back at her, her face hidden behind her veil of dark hair, inky-black, as black as the cave ahead of them-

Shouko bit her lip.

It probably wasn't more than two or three minutes, really, but buried by stone and with their friends hurting, not knowing where they'd ended up, it felt like forever.  But then a breeze strong enough to stir Shouko's hair passed over them, and finally they turned a bend and spied a glimmer of light ahead of them.  Shouko could have cried, and immediately broke into a jog that carried her past Shizuka, and she heard the would-be shrine maiden quicken her own step behind her.

They emerged from the cave to see a starlit sky, a glorious full moon hanging over them.  The cave, it turned out, was nestled in a series of craggy foothills dotted with scrub brush that sloped gently downwards from a mountain range towards a forest.  Nearby was a running river that must have carved out the rent in the stone at some point in the past, but had since been diverted to a new course.

"That isn't Fuji," Shouko pointed out as she dismissed her daggers, knowing she was stating the obvious but feeling compelled to say so anyway.  Shizuka likewise sheathed her sword, leaving the pair of them bathed in the moonlight, and Shouko blinked her eyes a few times to get adjusted.

Wherever they were, it wasn't Japan.  What could be seen of the forest made that clear.  The tall trees didn't look like evergreens, or regular leafy trees, but more like massive palms, the fronds of which formed a solid canopy.  Was it a rainforest?  Were they even on Earth?  No, wait, the moon's markings looked the same, yes, they were still on the same planet.  Were they in Hawaii, or California, or Brasil somewhere?  Had Count Chucklefuck really thrown them all the way across the Pacific?

As they stood there and pondered, there came a sound from the distance, a loud, gruff snort like a donkey had started to bray and then gave up halfway through, except the donkey in this case sounded like it weighed a couple tons.  There was an answering bellow of similar tone, and then some of the trees started to shake as if something massive was shouldering through them.  Shizuka's hand went back to her blade, and Shouko's fingers closed, ready to summon her daggers back.  Had the damn Tatsu-varag followed them somehow?!  No, no, hell no, they'd killed the damn thing, killed it dead, burned it to ashes, there was no damn possibility it had survived again.

There was a crunch of branches and some kind of animal shouldered its way out of the trees.  Shouko at first thought it was some kind of rhino, a really big one, grey in the moonlight with a heavy, pebbly hide.  But the rhino had a weird crest at the back of its head, a solid one like bone, and it seemed like it had extra horns-

Shouko felt her heart jump into her throat.  There was no way that what she was seeing could be real, she was hallucinating, or imagining, or, or something.  She tried to speak and couldn't, she had to swallow and try again a couple of times just to manage a tiny, stuttering, "Sh-Shizuka...is...i-is...-is, is that..."

"A triceratops," Shizuka whispered through her lips, sounding likewise all but dumbstruck at the sight.  Ignorant of the two girls in the foothills, the creature lumbered towards the river and ducked its head to drink.  As it reached the water a rock formation suddenly shifted and edged away with a distant snort of exasperation.  It was another dinosaur, one of the ones with an armored back - Shouko's brain was too busy screaming itself hoarse to try remembering the name.

When Count Dickhead had pulled his stunt with the guns and the freaky magic clock out of nowhere, Shouko had expected a couple of things.  She'd half-expected they'd show up in the Edo period and get thrown into a battle with Nobunaga, or maybe all the way back to the Kamakura, fighting the Mongols.  Or maybe he'd pitched them into the future, somewhere they wouldn't bother him.  Then, when they'd emerged in the cave she'd had to shut down thoughts that maybe he hadn't thrown them back in time at all, but maybe imprisoned them in some kind of twilight realm.

Of all the things she'd expected, dinosaurs had not been one of them.

"Holy shit," she breathed, and even as she did so she watched a serpentine creature emerge from the canopy, bending itself about to munch at the leaves, and Shouko realized it had to be one of the long-necked kind.

Beside her, she was dimly aware of Shizuka raising her hands to her mouth.  "This," she heard her murmur, "this...this is my..."

Shouko snapped her head around, dinosaurs suddenly forgotten as she got her first good look at Shizuka's face since they'd popped out in the cave.  Her red eyes were wide, frightened, her face paler than even usual, and the hands that hovered in front of her mouth with shaking, her lip likewise trembling.  Gone was her usual steely calm, her seen-it-all-twice chill, and Shouko was taken completely aback.  "What?" she asked.

Shizuka didn't look back at her.  "This is my fault," she whispered.  "I did this.  If I hadn't defied him-"

A sudden explosion seemed to snap Shouko's chest in half and filled her with a giant, raging fire.  Without thinking about what she was doing, she put out both hands and grabbed Shizuka's blouse in her fists, turning the other girl towards her.  Shizuka didn't even fight - normally Shouko wouldn't have gotten away with so much as a finger laid upon her.  "Don't you dare," she snarled.  "Don't you dare say such a thing."  She had to struggle not to shake Shizuka wholesale.  "If you hadn't come along, we wouldn't be patching ourselves up in a cave, we'd be too busy being dead.  We scraped by on the skin of our teeth, and that was with all seven of us there!  If it had been six, there's no way we would have made it!"

Shizuka seemed not to notice Shouko's deathgrip on her shirt, staring into her eyes like she'd woken from some kind of nightmare.  "You could have run away," she pointed out.

Shouko felt the rage ebb, remembering the emergency beacon Kanako had held the whole time.  "Yeah, we could have run away," she agreed, before the fire suddenly welled back up inside her, and this time she actually took a step forward to put her face right in Shizuka's own.  "We could've run away, and you know what would've happened?  A couple nights later some set of parents somewhere would be staying up all night wondering what happened to their child.  Then a few years later some little kid would be getting told nobody could find their big sister or brother.  We could've run away and that bastard would have gone right on killing kids beneath everyone's notice while the Court and the Vanguard argued about who should do something.  But that's not going to happen, because we killed it.  We did that.  All of us.  Together.  No more nightmares.  No more kids like Kana growing up without a mom and dad.  We broke that chain.  A bunch of kids.  Because you know what we are, Shizuka?"

Those wide red eyes blinked.  She'd never seen Shizuka so nonplussed in the whole time she'd known her.  "We...are hunters of the dark-"

"No we're not!" Shouko cried out, and this time she did go so far as to give Shizuka a shake, her fists trembling with emotion.  "We're highschool seniors!  We're a class president, a star athlete, a math whiz, and a...a damn juvenile delinquent!  And you.  And Saika.  And Reika.  A bunch of girls who oughta be looking at what university they want to go to had to go out and become dragonslayers.  Dragonslayers," she emphasized.

"Dragonslayers...?" Shizuka echoed.  She dropped her gaze, the fringe of her bangs obscuring her eyes.

"Yeah.  All of us."  Shouko breathed in, breathed out, breathed in, short and sharp, as she debated with herself, and decided since she was already in this deep, she might as well.  "Shizuka, I never thought I would say a thing like this six months ago, but you're like my best friend, you know?"

Shizuka jerked back slightly, and only the hands still clenched in the material of her blouse stopped her.  "I...?" she said, eyes wide as she looked back into Shouko's face.

"Yeah," Shouko said, finally relaxing her grip a little bit.  "Saika's my girlfriend and I love the shit out of her, even if I still kind of suck at saying it, and Kanako and Erika and Miyumi are all great, but...it was you and me, all those weekends with the bokken and the wakizashi, and that fight with the onryo when we..."  Shouko took in a breath that shook in her lungs.  "When you got me to put myself out there like that."  She met Shizuka's eyes, though her vision swam as moisture clouded her gaze.  "I don't know what's gonna happen, but, I wouldn't give it up for anything.  That day back in September, I felt like...I felt like I finally found a piece of myself that had been missing the whole time, that I hadn't really been me until I brought those daggers out.  You're such a fucking edgelord, but you gave me that," she blurted, feeling liquid running down her face.

"Shouko," Shizuka said softly.

"So I don't wanna hear it," Shouko went on, her fists clenching once more.  "You hear me?  I don't wanna hear this noise about how this is your fault.  Because it's not.  It's not, you hear me?  You're not responsible for the shit people pull because they're too busy playing politics to remember what the hell they're supposed to be doing to begin with.  It's not your fault for what Co- what he did to punish you for standing up with your fucking friends.  It's not your fault when someone decides to spite you instead of standing up for you.  It's not your fault when your dad treats you like a fucking scandal and he's too goddamn stupid to stop pulling the same dumb crap over and over no matter how many times it blows up on him."

Shizuka's eyes narrowed, a shadow of her usual mien reasserting itself.  "Taliesin is not my father," she said, an edge returning to her voice.

“Huh?” Shouko blinked, stopped cold by the non-sequitur.  Why the hell was Shizuka pointing out-

Then she shook her head angrily, heat flooding into her face.  "Never mind, you know what I mean."  Shizuka started to arch an eyebrow and open her mouth to speak, and Shouko squeezed her eyes shut and ducked her head until her brow thumped into the heels of her hands.  "Don't psychoanalyze me, Shizuka, you know what I mean!"

There was a long, breathless moment, until Shouko felt a hand softly pat her hair.  "I do know what you mean," Shizuka said softly, and Shouko looked up into her face to see a familiar, barely-there smile on Shizuka's features.  "You may let go of me now."  Shouko slowly opened her hands - slowly, because her fingers were aching from being clenched for so long.  "I will take everything you've said under advisement," she said, as if Shouko had offered her a pointer in the classroom - fat chance! - and laughed softly.  "Your passion befits a Dauntless Heart indeed."

Shouko felt the blush that had been fading come rushing back, and she turned away, scratching self-consciously at her hair.  "Thanks," she mumbled.  

"We should go back and tell the others what we've seen," Shizuka said after another moment.  "They will start to worry if we do not return soon.  And they deserve to know."

"You start back.  I'll join you in a second," Shouko said, wiping at the tracks left on her face.

Shizuka nodded.  "I will walk slowly."  She paused.  "Thank you, Shouko."  Then her shoes crunched softly on the rock, receding back into the cave once more.

Left alone under the moonlight, Shouko Kogawa the 'Dauntless Heart' breathed in and out slowly, fighting to contain the tumult of emotion that had all come bursting out.  As she did so, she instinctively rifled through her jacket pockets, scowling at the tears and the now-dried saliva left from the thing that had tried to munch her during the battle - this had been her second-favorite biking jacket, dammit.

She found her pack of cigarettes intact and pulled one out, placing the butt between her lips.

Then she plucked it out again and stared at it.  Then looked down at the pack and counted, in a rush, twelve more.

She was sixty-five million years or whatever out of her own time and she had barely half a pack of cigarettes.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit," she hissed, and thrust the one she'd picked back into the pack before she followed Shizuka back into the cave.

#kurze writes #Completely Normal RPG #bit of a blood/injury warning with this one probably #I tried to keep the description minimal #Shouko

[danganronpa-imagines-and-doodles]

Hello! May I please ask for an S/O with Hanahaki for Hajime, Shuichi, and Kokichi (Separate)? Please make the ending happy, the best boy’s deserve love. Thanks! -Sasha from Discord (I think you know who I am)

…

this ask.

i swear, this ask- not the ask itself- but.. sigh. i wrote this at least twice and both times i forgot to save it as a draft.

i’ve never felt my soul drop like a shot put ball 101mph into the fiery pits of the underworld.

either way, i’m gonna write this ask! even if i die doing so.

this was really fun- i’ve never wrote hanahaki or hinata before, so this was pretty neat- but i say that a lot, don’t I?

the pronouns are a little off, so tell me if it’s hard to read and I’ll fix it right away.

(in case this needs it- TW: hanahaki stuff, like illnesses, surgery, maybe blood

Kokichi Ouma

Easy. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy! It’s not that much of a hassle, is it?

Oh god.

Oh god, oh god, oh god.

It was.

Kokichi was standing at your door with a bottle of Panta, holding it as if it were meant for him, ready to knock and blurt out something cheesy, like, “hey, know what my shirt is made of?”

Whatever. If you didn’t take him, it would be fine. It’s not like he would die, right?

Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.

Your words were ten times as sharp when you told him you weren’t interested. In reality, they were light and didn’t mean much except for him to go away. But to him, it really did hurt.

He was sure it would end in a couple of days, anyways. He dealt with heartbreak often, so it wasn’t like he cared this time around, either.

Except.. you just meant a lot to him.

He’s ready for the awful pains to go away when he starts to cough out petals, and the pain only gets so much worse.

He’s terrified, but he can’t admit this to anyone. He can’t show that he’s emotionally weak, or it’ll just get worse, won’t it?

Surgery was off the table. There was no way they were going to rip a flower from his chest and bandage him back together like it’s normal. There’s no way.

He was determined to die with the disease when Shuichi found him trembling as he coughed up more petals.

Shuichi tried to tempt him into it, but Kokichi wasn’t having it.

He’s so upset and stressed that he feels like ripping the flowers out himself, curled into a ball on his bed when his phone starts to vibrate next to him.

“(S/O)? What’re you calling for? It’s far past your bedtime, you know.”

There’s a brief.. noise behind the line, like a gasp or a sharp inhale.

“Um, (S/O)?”

“Ouma.. I’m so sorry!”

He’s sort of taken aback now. They were crying?

“I’m so-so sorry! I shouldn’t have said no. I really do love you, Ouma, I just couldn’t see it yet.. You have to get better! And-and now!”

He presses a hand to his chest in pure confusion and realizes he feels.. lighter than he did before he picked up.

“Aww, (S/O)-chan~ I knew you loved me, anyways! I wasn’t worried. But shame on you for making me wait!”

You giggle behind the line, and it makes him smile, just a bit.

“I’m coming over now, actually. I was just looking for something to do! Thank you, (S/O)-chan!”

He hangs up without another word.

Not but a few minutes later, Kokichi is rapping on your door with a bottle of Panta in hand.

You spend the morning flirting and appreciating each other without actually telling each other how much you love them.

Kokichi ends up drinking the Panta anyways.

Shuichi Saihara

Shuichi was totally confused. He didn’t think he was actually in love with them, he thought it was just a really high level of admiration?

He wasn’t particularly sure what to do. There was no way he wanted to confess, but he knew he wouldn’t get away with it without his friends catching on.

Either way, his friends catch on fast, and he’s barely said anything before Kokichi is preaching about the benefits of having a lover and “oh, i’m sorry, you don’t have one, shuichi!”

Shuichi carries on to confess to them, but when you decline, he’s not that phased.

On the inside, however, it hurts him, emotionally and physically. There’s a dull, numbing pain on his heart and his chest feels like it might actually implode.

The pain was never ending and he wanted it gone more than anything. It got even worse when he heard you had moved to a foreign country just a month after his confession. “Guess they hated you that much, Shuichi, gosh!” Kokichi laughed.

He knew love hurts, but this? Really?

Kiibo sees Shuichi is hurting, and the first thing he thinks to do is diagnose him with Hanahaki, which, indubitably, makes him feel even worse.

Either he would die with the awful pain or have surgery. If he had surgery, his feelings for them would disappear.. but doesn’t that mean the pain will leave too?

He sits in his room, trying to pretend he’s dead as he has to sit up and cough out the petals. It’s disturbing how he can still feel them in his throat. Maybe surgery is the only option.

The pain gets particularly bad just thinking about it. By now, he’s assumed there’s no way they’ll return his feelings now, so he has no choice but to undergo surgery.

He’s due to have surgery in an hour, and the waiting room seems especially sad when Shuichi sits in it. Kaede takes to mumbling comforting words to him while Kokichi somewhat sadly teases him.

They call his name, and he’s ready to accept his fate as eternally damned before they show up.

Hair disheveled, out of breath, still holding their two tons of luggage, on the brim of tears, you pause to take a breath. The lady behind the desk is about to tell them off not only for running in a hospital, but—

You suck in a breath. “You can’t go through with this, Shuichi!” The binds on his heart are slowly starting to loosen, but he doesn’t realize it until you dash forward and hugs his chest, sobbing either out of happiness or terror.

Shuichi wraps his arm around their chest and steadies them, pulling them over to the chairs to sit down and calm down. Kiibo pulls up a blanket (that came from who knows where) and wraps it around Shuichi and his S/O.

Kaede is comforting them, and the lady behind the desk looks just about ready to quit her job as Kokichi frantically tries to cancel his surgery.

Shuichi wakes up the next morning, expecting to hurt from his surgery, but he feels warm and loved with you curled into his side, mumbling distinctly about his hat.

Hinata Hajime

Fine.

Love wasn’t such a hard game to play, was it?

It didn’t take Hinata an entire period of study hall to realize he was in love with them.

Naturally, he was a bit timid on the idea of confessing. But it’s not like he would die, so what’s the problem?

It took him a push or two, but he finally cracked and decided he’d confess.

When the timing was right, he found himself stumbling over his words and trying to form a coherent sentence (which seemed awful to him) that would spell out “I love you” correctly.

You looked amused albeit confused, and he could barely hear you tell him to leave you alone.

It’s fine, he thought. It’s not my last chance at love.

Well, maybe.

The heartache was incredibly bothersome. Every time he tried to ignore it, it resurfaced with even worse pain.

The pain was sharp and struck quickly, and it stung like a dozen wasps.

Breathing was already difficult when the petals came. He hacked and coughed, and it wracked his body with trembling. Ibuki was beyond horrified to find him rasping.

“No way! No, no, no way! You’ve got to be kidding me!” Ibuki cried, her expression a mix of shock and terror.

“What?” Hinata demanded. He could taste the blood that followed the petals and he wanted it gone desperately.

“It’s Hanahaki! Hanahaki disease!”

what the heck is that

When he started to research it, he thought it fictional before he remembered the specks of blood scattered across the mound of petals at his bedside.

Knowing how the stem grew and bloomed in your heart and lungs was enough to push him to surgery. Living with it until death? God, no thank you.

His immediate resort was surgery. You couldn’t try to stop him even if you really wanted to.

Except for someone.

It was late at night when Hinata received a call.

“Hinata, you can’t possibly be thinking of surgery!” Your voice immediately came over from the other line as he picked up.

“Huh? It’s 11pm. Who told you that?”

“Ibuki.. but you have to listen to me, Hinata. You can’t go through with it.”

“And why not?”

“Come outside.”

It was too early for this. There was no friendship crap that would pull him from this- strong friendship wasn’t enough.

He begrudgingly opened his front door to find probably not your car parked in front of his house, not even remotely parked correctly, lights still shining into the neighbor’s yard.

“What the hell?” Hinata mumbled, rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes as you jumped from the car and grabbed him in a hug.

“Why can’t I-“

“Because I do love you, Hinata. I’m sorry! That was the worst decision I’ve ever made!”

Hinata reached up and returned the hug, tracing circles into your back with his thumb.

“It’s fine. Come inside and sit down.”

You threw the keys aside after turning off the car and collapsed next to him.

He awoke the next morning with your arms still wrapped around his neck, and your head resting gently on his shoulder.

#mod kirigiri #kokichi ouma #hajime hinata #shuichi saihara #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa x reader #sdr2 #ndrv3