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#i cant help the quality sorry guys
whump-they-it-is · 4 months
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As I lay dying (2013)
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ri-a-rose · 2 years
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So my little sister got engaged which I'm happy about and definitely not a tiny bit jealous
#she and her boyfriend have been dating for a couple of years so its exciting that he proposed#and like this is so selfish and petty but im jealous bc like im the oldest and it just idk#i feel like shes exceeding which is fine thats great im gglad for her that she has more ambition than me#but i just idk my cousin just got married and now my sister and i just feel lonely#she and b are gonna be high school sweethearts and ive literally never had a man look at me with interest#its petty af but both my sisters are prettier than me and have aspirations and goals and i just go to work and complain about shit#and the weddings not til may and my parents are already starting planning or whatever and#im a lump like im not going anywhere in life like have the dumbest goals#buy a house near my parents place so i visit them more often bc i cant take care of myself like a normal human person#im disabled but not really bc i can do things but only the bare minimum so my quality of life is not great unless my mom helps me with#cleaning and food bc im just really dumb and feel like a burden i mean m is in college with a good job and now engaged and j has plans and#a scholarship and will be working lots#meanwhile i complain about having to work 8 hours a day bc i used to work 4 hours and thats much nicer to my body like i didnt realise how#fucking lazy i am til i have to work more than 4 hours not really disabled just lazy and i complain to them about having to work i dont#know why they put up with my dumb ass i mean fuck its not hard to figure out why guys arent interested in me#i mean i want a person someone to like spend life with i yearn to love and be loved#theyre so cute doing lame cute couple things it makes my heart hurt#im done im done venting sorry#tbd#vent
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luvrbug · 1 year
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Honkai Star Rail Men ; where do they lie on the pathetic man scale?
includes ; Sampo, Welt, Jing Yuan
A/N ; sorry everyone ive been playing hsr, and it has COMPLETELY captivated me. i will maybe write about one piece more buuuut I cant be too sure :[ i change like the wind sorry guys. also my first time writing in like Months so apologies if this is poopy
Warnings; literally the smallest amount of spice, no allusion to sex. reader is not the trailblazer, Gender neutral reader with 2nd person pronouns
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Sampo Koski
Sampo is such a failboy. it's not even funny. He embodies a pathetic man.
You get word of Sampo scamming someone once again; and to make it even worse, it was the kids that literally saved the entire planet.
So, you sentenced Sampo to a week of sleeping on the couch, which landed you in this unsightly situation.
"Baby, please, you know i didn't really mean to make them do my work," he pleads, grabbing your leg and squishing his face into your stomach. "I had urgent business to attend to somewhere.. else in the mine,"
Sighing, you run your fingers through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. Sampo begins to rise, hoping that he's swayed your iron heart, until-
"Two Weeks on the couch,"
"Baby!"
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Welt Yang
Out of all the men on this list, I'd say Welt is the least pathetic man. He has fatherhood skills and absolutely does his half of the chores.
... But he still is completely whipped for you.
Welt has never forgotten an anniversary. Without fail, he brings the biggest boquet of flowers, plans the best date night, and manages to keep your little troop of mischief makers pacified for the night.
So, when this year's anniversary rolls around, and nothing has happened yet, you begin to worry.
Did he want you to plan the events today? Did you miss some subliminal messaging? Are you losing your spark?? Is he-
"Ah, there you are," Welt's voice alone is enough to completely silence any rebellious thoughts running around.
"I was starting to get worried, i wouldn't want your surprise to get cold," You perk up instantly at the mention of a present, quickly gathering the book on and gold quality black tea you'd bought a few weeks prior.
Welt pulls out.. your favorite dessert from your favorite bakery on your homeworld. That is thousands of lightyears away. "I managed to understand enough about this dessert from your stories, and i managed to make something close to it with my powers and a little help from Himeko,"
You practically launch yourself at him, covering his face with kisses. Best anniversary ever.
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Jing Yuan
In the middle of the pathetic scale. Proper, courteous, and flirtatious, but also the most pathetic, clingy man ever when you're alone.
It's Saturday morning, the sun is shining, you have a romantic lunch reservation in an hour, and Jing Yuan is refusing to allow you out of bed.
"Honey, we have to get up or we'll miss our reservation. You know how hard it is to get on their waiting list, especially for the lunchtime rush," You whine, attempting to wriggle out of his hold.
Jing Yuan simply squeezes you tighter, making a muffled "hmmph" into your stomach. "Your cooking is better anyway," he mumbles, stretching and yawning not unlike mimi.
You huff, lying back in bed with your eyebrows scrunched. "I'm not going to cook for a week unless you get up and we make it there on time,"
This finally gets Jing Yuan off the bed and rummaging through his closet. "Well, hurry up, we wouldn't want to be late,"
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gatorbites-imagines · 4 months
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John Constantine x tattoo artist?? Smut or no (you choose!) I think it would be cute if john gets his tats from the reader (also kind of a possessive/marking quality there lol)
John Constantine x Tattoo artist male reader
Headcanons
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Sorry there’s been no posts this week, classes have started up again, so as you can imagine I’m exhausted and have a lot less free time. I’ve been using most of my free time to read JJK, ngl.
Imagine being a magical tattoo artist, something like a seal maker. You do large complex and beautiful pieces, but you hide different seals and protection markers inside the patterns. It keeps the real purpose of the tattoo a secret, but is also pretty to look at.
John already has tattoos in the hellblazer comics, but imagine you giving him different ink. Something a lot less obvious and more attractive.
It makes him pass as a hot blonde British guy covered in a lot of fancy ink, instead of some brit with lotsa weird cult looking tattoos.
John becomes one of your most common customers, mainly because a lot of the tattoos you put on him disappear after the seals been used, since its all defense and storage. He might also use it as an excuse to see you more, so he can flirt.
John being John, would get a tattoo right above his crotch, think like a reverse tramp stamp, or a succubus tattoo, just so he can have you sitting between his thighs as he gives his flirting his all.
You definitely end up railing him within an inch of his life in the tattoo chair, tsking and “punishing” him for straining the tattooed area too much, and “messing up your work” when he writhes too much.
In the beginning its just a friends with benefits situation, something like a “happy ending” you might say. John wouldn’t be someone to do relationships for the most part, since most of the ones he’s been in haven’t ended great.
He subconsciously also wouldn’t want to paint a target on your back, since hes always involved with all kinds of stuff. But he cant help but always find himself back with you, getting some new seal inked onto his skin.
And if every visit ends up with him bent over the tattoo chair, or down on his knees to “thank you”, then who will judge him.
John would end up finally acknowledging his feelings when you save him from his big bad of the week, using your complex and intricate tattoos to pull out weapons and spells, and later seal the being that’s after him.
Its hard to deny how he feels after that, and though he wouldn’t put it into words, he would act differently. Like just showing up at your parlor to spend time with you without getting anything done, or sending you little protection charms or trinkets.
At some point you guys just start kissing and acting like a couple, without actually putting a name to it. It’s a dangerous life you both live, and words mean everything, so you never tell anybody you guys are lovers, since that would make the target on you both even bigger.
It doesn’t keep you guys from pretty much living together and acting all domestic, or being completely exclusive to just each other. John turning down all advances made on him confuses people in the beginning, until they just come to accept it.
John ends up with even more tattoos, these a lot more complex than average useable seals. These are the kinds that you have spent your entire life developing, and had only used on yourself because they’re that powerful.
The league are knocked back by how powerful his spells have become, and how much damage he can withstand. Only other magic users with the knowledge know just how amazing his tattoos are. He never tells them where he got them, just because he’s an ass.
You end up helping out more with his business, and he ends up being free advertisement for your parlor. Of course, no one gets tattoos like you or John, you would never give a possible enemy that kind of power, but it helps pad your pockets quite a lot.
John’s enemies end up targeting you as well, but they’re easily dealt with for the most part.
He ends up getting teased be friends and allies that he’s getting soft and domestic, cuz he doesn’t go out to bars like before, and wants to be home in time to watch a movie with you, or just go to sleep together.
He ends up a lot less stressed too, since you rock his world whenever he needs it, and become someone he can let down his defenses and just be vulnerable with.
In the end he probably gets pavloved to get in the mood when you tattoo him, or he hears the noise of the tattoo gun. John always blames you for making him this way, because you always go down on him after giving him new ink, not that he’s complaining.
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wroetovic · 2 days
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VROOM (harry lewis x reader)
summary : in which y/n and harry get invited to go to the silverstone formula one grand prix (2023)
face claim : no one exact
notes : im an absolute noob at writing fics so please excuse the quality lmao. im petrified of posting on here but ive been thinking about starting a blog for over a year. im open to feedback, opinions and any sort of questions/advice is welcome! i happen to waffle a lot so just skip those parts if uninterested. this is my first post so enjoy 😝 also pls request because i have the creativity of a koala so id appreciate some ideas :D
pairings : harry lewis x reader , lando norris x platonic!reader
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"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?! Are you actually serious?" You asked your boyfriend in genuine shock, followed by a laugh from the man dressed in head to toe in Ferrari merch. The red and yellow colors clashed hilariously with the sleek, orange McLaren paddock pass hanging around his neck.
"What? I thought I'd support the winning team." He shrugged, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. You and Harry got invited by the Mclaren F1 team to watch the Silverstone Grand Prix from the paddock. As a Formula 1 fan youself, you were excited to see the cars upclose. To watch the mechanics to the pitstops, engineers do their things (idk what they do lmao) and to watch Max Verstappen overlap the whole grid like seven times. Even since you were a little kid you were amazed by those cars driving freakishly quickly. Now, several years later you get to experience it right infront of your eyes.
"Look, there's Lando!" Harry pointed out, spotting your friend talking to a group of mechanics. You approached Lando, who broke into a wide grin as he saw you. "Hey! There are my favorite YouTubers!"
You beamed. "Lando! It's so good to see you. How's it going?"
"It's been wild but amazing," Lando replied, glancing at Harry. "And I see you've managed to get Harry in the right gear this time."
Harry laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I had a little help with that."
Lando gave you two a playful nudge. "So, who are you rooting for today? Besides me, of course."
You laughed. "Well, McLaren, obviously. But I'm also excited to see how the Brits perform. It's going to be an interesting race."
"That's the spirit," Lando said, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "Alright, I better get back to my team, but I'll see you guys later? Enjoy the race!"
You and Harry found a spot in the back of Landos garage, it had a view on the screens but also the pit-stop. The whole race went by fast. The moment the lights went out Lando tried his hardest with a deserved P2 at his home race.
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Liked by mclaren, f1 & 1,002,485 others.
yourusename mom, i got invited to the silverstone grand prix.. still lowkey in disbelief like wtf.. me?? anyways, tysm mclaren 🩷 enjoy my lovely film camera dump raaaah.
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user harry looking fine as always😍
user y/n and lando finest friends
wroetoshaw whos the first fella hes fit
- yourusername he has a girlfriend..
user i can imagine y/n just walking around taking pictures of everything and everyone 😭😭😭
user i almost melted when they came on the screen
- user me too 😭 forgot i was watching f1 for a second
wroetoshaw i still think i shouldve worn my ferrari outfit #hater
- yourusername youd be sticking out like a sore thumb youre lucky i stopped you #loser #youalmostworepajamapants
user y/n looked so good there 😍
user i LIVE for y/n and landos friendship
faithlouisak i cant believe you chose him over me..
- yourusername im sorry bae.. next time im taking u
faithlouisak finest woman out there
calfreezy wtf fake friends.. theburntchip are you seeing what im seeing ???
- theburntchip bunch of fakies😔
holy what a yap fest lmfao please someone REQUEST something 😭 cause this is too plain.. !
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mondaymelon · 5 months
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MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! gifts ensue.
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he really went. blep. hi user @ilyuu. im proud of this one so congrats wanderer takes home first gift wooo
lmao id like to apologise in advance as this was brought on because of me but I got super burnt out drawing like 20 of these over the course of 2 days... if you see the quality of the drawings declining ( which you will ) please don't mind it!! thank you.
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@anonbinaryweirdo. sigh. i get whiplash whenever you're super nice and then in the span of the next three seconds immediately do something vile
@soleillunne. we don't talk much but from what I know you are such a sweet person omg !! and your works??? dies inside (in a good way). the way you write xiao maks me so. puddle like
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@realkavehgf. we agree on one things (amongst others) and that is that kaveh is. kAVEH IS. MALFUNCTIONS PERISHES.
@emphasisondrvgs. you scare me. please take your ranpo and quietly see yourself out LMAO /j
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@pjsk-writin. AMIMI ONE OF MY FIRST EVER MOOTS !!! im so proud of mikoto. sighs. straitjackets are smth else to draw .. BUT HES SO. MMMMMM !!!!
@circyexistforcontent AAAHHH HI PRECIOUS. I LIKE YOU BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DILUC SO. TAKE THIS... quietly throws up
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@whats-it-mean. puka puka. head empty. puka puka. please stop your affairs with my mother.
@falors. UGLY SOBS. UGLY CRIES. I LOVE YOU /P SM. WAAHHHH TEARS TEARS TEARS you are the most talented person ever I S T G gRAAAHHH YOU BETTER GET 18412409128410948 FOLLOWERS THIS YEAR OR I WILL RIOT. mwah.
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@dustofthedailylife. omg. hi dust... tbh ive been so concerned for you recently with how much life is running you over with a pickup truck so wishing for your improved health soon !! alhaith is a smort guy what can I say
@the-white-void. DEAREST. literally one of the first people I ever interacted with on this platform and you're actually. like. literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met. KLEE IS SUCH A CUTIE FJSFJDK
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@kaeffeinee. OMG. m..my kitten- woah WHO just said that. wild shit right there. have something you don't like?? have something that's been pestering you for far too long?? no worries. its the official nag seal of mendokusai !!!!
@lillonvia. sobs. I didn't do the man justice.loud sobs. DFSDDSF YOUR ART MAKES ME WANT TO LIKE DISENTAGRAT INTO GLOWING BALLS oF FUZZ AND FLOAT INTO THE HEAVENS I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT. WE ARE SO DELULU oVER XIAO. FOAMS AT THE MOUTH
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@absolutelyobsessedkiya. HELP WHY IS MINORI SO BRIGHT.... she's literally shining what. we need to talk more pspsspsp I just now found out that you're a fan of milgram!! remember like last year I was all 'whose that pretty pink person on their pfp??' AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THATS ITS MUU RAHHHH
@auroratumbles. meow. cat. what a sweetie. I don't even know what my art style is doing here anymore Istg what even. what even BYE LETS TALK ABOUT XIAO LATER !!
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@papiliotao. mwah. a kith for you. mWAH. ANOTHER KITH. SJFKSDJFLS GRAHHH YOU ARE THE SW E. E T E ST AND YOUR THE SWEETEST AND YOUR CAT IS THE SWEETEST AND YOUR VOICE IS MAKING ME WANT TO ELEVATE INTO THE CLOUDS AND YOURE SO SILLY EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT LIKE AKITIO SHINONOME
@yinyinggie. hihihi ying !! it honestly amazes me how you're able to juggle so many events and servers at once. im actually in awe. always look at xiao he's so emo and short
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@solxima. GRAHHH HI. I DONT LIKE HOW JINGYUAN LOOKS IN THIS BUT. DLJFLSDJ DIES> I CANT DO THIS AN Y M O RE. your honor. hes so cat coded hes so cat coded he's so PERISHS
@yelshin. WAIIIIT NO YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF> iM SORRY. I don't know why he looks... so r e g a l in this but its definitely giving off oRAtRice MecAnIquE DAnAlySe CARdiNAle .
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@vennnnn-diagram. LOUD SCREAMING N O . YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF TOOOODJSKFLSD JGAIJFAD JKLJFD:LFS. anyways. I need to see nahida smiling more she deserves everything and then some. aranaras are so silly giggles
@lume-nosity. I hold the slightest bit of guilt for putting your angsty ish drawing right next to happy lil nahida buT AHAHAH IT MAKES IT HURT MORE IG. took some inspo from your blog title... mwah ily lume. I WAS SO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU AT FIRST WHEN I SENT YOU THAT MOOT ASK BUT I AM EVER SO HAPPY THAT I DID !!!
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th end. im actually so dead lmao my fingers actually were starting to bleed afklsdjfaskdjfklsdjflkasdjflksjflkjowejtoij enjoy your Christmas gifts mooties !! if anyone asks why I haven't been posting fics as promised. this is why. ill be in a coffin for a while please let my soul rest
OH AND FORGOT TO MENTION I DREW THESE BASD ON THE MOOTIES THAT COMMNTED ON MY THINGY LIKE LAST WEEK WHICH ASKED WHICH CHARACTER THY WANTD I LOVE YOU ALL PSPS I PROMIS
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corpsebasil · 1 year
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Bonnie and Clyde Part 3 / Triple Threat Combination
In which a group of psychos attempts to corrupt the eldest Carpenter sister. (Go read triple threat for better context!! This is my take on Scream 7 pretty much)
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It had been three months since the murders in New York. Three months of plotting, of recovering, and of teaming up with the secret children of Stu Macher, the twisted psychopath that had inspired your own ideas.
Three months since Ethan had stumbled through the front door, bleeding heavily, and you'd done your best to fix him, though you spent more time crying than anything and felt utterly useless. Three months since Matteo, the middle son of Stu's three batshit kids, had stitched up anything he could, insisting he'd had medical training. Ansel, the eldest, had watched the entire process with such a hungry, menacing look that you’d threatened to skin him alive if he looked at Ethan like that again. The youngest daughter, Lola, had watched you with the silent stare of a predator, an amused look on her pretty face.
Just last night you’d gotten into a screaming match with Ansel, one where he’d threatened to cut you up into tiny little pieces and you said you’d feed him to subway rats. Only Matteo had been able to calm the two of you down, the middle brother seemingly the only one with his head not in the clouds.
“You two—” he said, pointing a rather lethal looking sword at you. A sword. You’d felt ridiculously out of your depth when the three children of Stu had shown up with their advanced weaponry, their connection to Ethan something he’d never told you. “need to calm the fuck down. I’m tired of hearing you bitch at each other all the time.”
“Then put your psychotic brother on a fucking leash.” You snapped, glaring at the stupidly handsome guy. You hated to admit it, but all of Stu’s kids were attractive. Even Ansel had a strangely alluring aspect, even if he made you extremely uncomfortable. “I feel like he’s going to stick a knife in me when I’m sleeping.”
“I’d love to stick something in you, Y/N.” Ansel purred, and the sick glint of amusement in his eyes told you exactly what he was thinking of.
“Stay the fuck away from me.” You said, glaring as you finally calmed down enough to set your kitchen knife down on the counter.
“Where’s your pretty boyfriend?” Lola asked, legs crossed as she sat on the couch. You two weren’t particularly chummy with one another, not like you and Quinn had been, but there was a comforting quality in knowing another girl was in on this chaos. “Matteo should check his injuries. See if he’s ready for tomorrow.”
“I think he’s still asleep.” You mumbled, making a wide berth away from Ansel as you headed to your bedroom. He just grinned at you, that feline expression of his giving you goosebumps.
Ethan had been depressed lately, though he was still on board for round two of a Ghostface attack. He was hell bent on avenging Wayne and Quinn, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t also feel an urge to take out Tara and Sam. But Stu’s kids insisted on recruiting Sam, saying they’d kill you and Ethan both if you tried to make any moves on their ‘honorary sister’, Ansel’s words, not yours.
“Baby?” You whispered, entering the room and shutting the door behind you. You could still hear the siblings muttering amongst themselves as you moved to the bed, but ignored them. “Baby are you awake?”
Ethan blinked up at you slowly, his body curled up into a ball in the bed. He licked his lips, eyes staring into nothing before he spoke.
“Yeah.” He mumbled. He sat up slowly and your eyes moved to his bare chest, cringing at the multitude of scars from where he’d been stabbed. “I cant sleep. You guys are loud as fuck.”
“Sorry.” You said, smiling softly as you sat beside him, taking his hand.
He’d had a hard time after his family’s death. The only solace was that you were alive, and that Stu’s kids were there to help. He wasn’t as wary around Ansel as you were, and he’d quickly began to treat Matteo and Lola like they were his own siblings. Perhaps he was trying to fill a void.
“Is Ansel threatening to cut you up again?” He asked, a teasing glint in his eyes as he pulled your hand to his mouth, kissing your knuckles.
The two of you had always been in love, sure, but after he’d almost died he’d been treating you with a brand new tenderness that almost alarmed you. It was like all the hate and rage had left him and the only bits remaining were the soft ones. It was a bit confusing, and more than worrisome. Would he actually be able to go through with killing again?
“He always is.” You sighed, rolling your eyes at his grin. “Honestly, if he threatens me one more time.”
“Give him a chance.”
“I have. He’s insane.”
“We are too, sweetheart.” He smiled wider, and a flash of that familiar dark glint reached his eyes. “Just maybe not…asylum insane.”
You chuckled at that, then jumped when you heard a crashing sound. You stood up and opened the door, walking down the hall to peer in the living-room. Lola was straddling Ansel, shoving a pillow down over his face as he struggled. For a smaller girl she was very strong, and you gaped at the sight before you.
“Matteo, help!” Ansel gasped, struggling for air.
“Don’t help him. Get the pliers. Which is your least favorite fingernail, big bro?” Lola asked, tone wry as Matteo smiled.
“What the hell did he do now?” You asked, amused despite yourself, and he shrugged.
“Asked if the carpets matched the drapes.”
“I’m tired of your shit.” Lola was saying, still in the process of suffocating her own sibling. “Say it again and see what happens.”
“You’re just as—mean as her!” Ansel was gasping, flinging a hand out towards you. Lola gave you a wicked grin, finally letting up.
“Your call, Y/N. Do we execute him?”
“I vote guillotine.” You mused, tapping your chin with a fingernail as you fought back a laugh. “Maybe blunt force trauma?”
“There’s too much insanity in this house.” Matteo sighed, standing up and moving to the front door. “I’m getting Dunkin. Get ready for an all night planning session.” He turned and pointed a finger at the three of you. “I’m serious. If I come back and anyone is injured, I’m going back to Woodsboro by myself.”
You all groaned and complained as Matteo left, but then Lola’s eyes slid to your own as the front door shut. Her smile turned feline as she looked at you, her voice soft and angelic.
“Y/N, sweetheart,” she began, blinking flirtatiously. “Do you think Matteo would be too mad if we turned Ansel into a scarecrow?”
“Hmmm.” You murmured, trying not to laugh as Ansel’s eyes widened. “Probably not. He wouldn’t even recognize him. We could say he panicked and fled town.”
“Hear that, Ansie?” Lola giggled, peering down at her brother as he thrashed. “Y/N wants you dead, too.”
“I’m sick of you both.” Ansel spat, still trying to escape. “You’re both hellions. Absolute heathens.”
“You love us.” Lola grinned, and finally let him go, moving off to step towards you. “Come on.” She said, grabbing your hand. “I’m desperate for a sister. Let’s go do girl shit.”
You laughed as she tugged you towards your room, trying to ignore the pain in your heart that occurred when you thought of Quinn. You smiled at Lola, allowing her to flop down on your bed and open up Netflix, her dark eyes scanning the options.
“Wanna invite your boyfriend?” She asked, eyes darting to yours, and you nodded.
But just as you left the room to get Ethan you jumped; Ansel flew by you, complaining about ‘girls night’ and ‘why am I never invited’ as he dived face first onto the bed. You could still hear Lola screaming with laughter as you finally made it to Ethan’s room, a smile on your face.
I’ve decided this is going to be a serious series LMAO
make sure to comment please guys!!! I love feedback and want your opinions on what should happen later in the series?
Who should die? Chad? Mindy? Tara??? TELL ME
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mamirhodessxox · 2 months
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Hey There Delilah Incorrect Quotes.
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Jey: If we’re in trouble, just throw Cody at the problem, and hope for the best.
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Seth: *slams books down in front of Cody*
Seth: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.
Cody: You could of said literally anything else.
Seth: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.
Cody: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.
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Seth: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.
Seth: One... two... three.
Cody: ...
Seth: ...
Seth: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.
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Cody: Okay, looking good. Okay, ciders mulling, turkey’s turking, yams are yamming … What?
Mira: I don’t know. It’s just not the same without Randy in the kitchen.
Cody: All right, that’s it. Just get out of my way and stop annoying me.
Mira: That’s closer.
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Seth, playing a video game: This game is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
Randy: Ok, I think it’s time to turn off the game for a little while.
Seth: But I’m having fun!
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*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy*
Seth: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
Mira: No, Seth. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.
Seth: No, that’s not part of it—
Mira: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?
Jey: I would want to live with no legs.
Mira: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Jey. You don’t do anything.
Seth: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.
Mira: *pumps frantically*
Seth: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.
Mira: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
Cody: How’s that gonna help you?
Mira: I will divide and then count to it.
Cody: Right.
Seth: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?
Mira: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Cody: Does everyone know their job for today?
Delilah: Water the flowers.
Seth: Vacuum the carpet.
Mira: Wash the dishes.
Randy: Pretend to be a wolverine.
Cody: Close enough.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Delilah, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?
Cody: …
Cody: What’s in the box?
Delilah: What woul-
Cody: Delilah, what’s in the box?
Delilah: I think you know.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Mira: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Seth: What do you want for breakfast, Randy?
Randy: Gay Cheerios.
Seth: I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING FRUIT LOOPS THAT!!
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Rhea: ARE YOU-
Jey: Fucking.
Rhea: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Jey: Fucking.
Rhea: IDIOT!
Cody: …What was that?
Jey: Delilah banned Rhea from swearing, so I’m helping them out.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Randy: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??
Cody: So fuck oxygen, I guess.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Cody: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Delilah: Okay.
Cody: And make out during the scary parts.
Delilah: Th-
Delilah: The scary parts.
Delilah: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Delilah: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Randy: You guys worried about Mira?
Becky: Totally!
Cody: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"
Randy: And what'd you say?
Cody: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."
Becky:
Randy: They're lucky to have you as a friend.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Randy: Deep down, I'm sure I was always pretty okay with you.
Mira: Thanks, Randy!
Randy: It wasn't a compliment, numbnuts.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
Delilah: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it.
Mira: …I was hungry.
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸
🏷️ list: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @agent-dessis-posts @adollonyourshelf @valkyrurr @alyyaanna @niknakbucks92 @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41
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newestq · 1 year
Note
i love your p1harmony writing! could you do first dates with the members?
┊ ˚➶ 。˚ ☁️ p1harmony | more here!
synopsis — first dates with p1harmony.
author's note — n/a.
wc > 1.070k , genre : fluff , gn!reader – fem!reader for theo
⊹ keeho
doesn't act like it, but he's really nervous
he hasn't been on many dates and he just wants to make a good impression
his leader mode is an instinct and he ends up ordering for you
"i could've ordered myself," you smile towards him, handing the waitress your menu
"oh–right. sorry, i'm so used to ordering for the guys," he laughs awkwardly
you both talk a lot about your hometowns. since both of you are foreigners, you connect with the feeling of being away from home
shopping was the next thing y'all did after y'all finished eating, and he spoiled you to the max
anything you wanted, he bought it for you—even if you could afford it, he was buying it
by the end of the date, you and keeho had matching outfits and matching earrings 😛
the two of you have been talking for a few weeks now, and are yet to make it official, but keeho can confidently say he'll be taking the next step after this date
⊹ taeyang : theo — gender specific
sets up a cute picnic date for the two of you
is really nervous, and ends up going to keeho for help
"what do girls eat? like is there something specific or..?"
"taeyang, be so for real right now."
yeah... he's a mess.
him and keeho end up buying an assortment of foods since he couldn't just decide on one or two things to base everything off of
poor baby tried so hard on everything, just for it to be ruined by the bees and the weather
he was really sulky when the two of you had to cancel the picnic date, but you didn't mind
brings you to the dorms to watch a movie, which was a bad idea because everyone was at the dorms and were interrogating you two
"do you know he doesn't wear chapstick?"
"intak, shut the fuck up"
"she needs to know!"
⊹ jiung
you had been on a few dates with people before you'd gotten with jiung
he had asked what the dates were like, and you had told them that they were all pretty much the same: movies, dinner, golf...
he had made it his goal to make your first date together something you'd never done before
so hiking was the plan.
you'd expressed how much you wanted to go hiking to him before, and he never found a good enough opportunity to bring you. but with his schedule clear for a few days, and your vacation from school, it was perfect.
ends up enjoying it more than you do-even though he fell a few (lot) times
"jiung, baby. can we please take a break?"
"a break? right now? but this is way to fun."
he eventually listens to your whines, and y'all sit in a spot that gives y'all the best view
"thank you for this. best first date ever."
"it better be. i busted my ass for you."
⊹ intak
definitely will take you to the beach
buys cute matching swimsuits, and brags about it to his members non-stop
"okay you're better than me at smash bros, but do you and your partner have matching swimsuits? that's what i thought"
"intak, i'm single."
"cry about it."
jongseob: T-T
anyway, he also stays up the night before creating a playlist for the ride
titles it something cheesy, like "pov: beach trip with yr baby" or something
takes SO MANY cute pictures together
like he cant post them but he will show everyone he can
shows up to rehearsal talking bout
"hey pd nim wanna see what me and y/n did this weekend?"
he's actually infatuated
y'all are so that couple everyone sees in the water at the beach and gets jealous of fr
snowballs on the beach <3
probably rents a golf cart and drives around while listening to the playlist he made with you
he just loves you sm
⊹ shota : soul
shota actually didn't plan y'all date, taeyang did
they had time off and decided to go to an amusement park
you and shota hadn't seen each other in some time, and taeyang suggested shota bring you along for some quality time
you happily agreed
one thing about shota, however: he loves the extreme rides
haha you're definitely not pissing yourself while waiting in line for a rollercoaster! that's childish! haha..
laughs at you while you're literally crying your eyes out
he feels bad afterwards though and buys you a lot of food to make up for it (well he uses keeho's money)
goes on the rides you want to go on, and he secretly takes pictures of you and sets them as his lockscreen <3
poor jongseob is third wheeling
once y'all left the park, y'all go eat out and jiung makes you and shota sit at a separate table to talk (much to keeho's protests)
"what if they do something they aren't supposed to??"
"like what?"
"like something adults do."
"keeho, he just turned 18."
⊹ jongseob
you plan the date, since he's in your hometown, and decide to go kayaking
he's never done it before and it makes you really excited that his first time kayaking his with you
he gets a little scared when trying to get in the kayak and it takes him a while before he finally sits in it
while laughing at him trying to get in, you fall out of your kayak. he's so shocked and he starts laughing too-which causes him to fall out
screams like a girl while falling
eventually y'all are just laughing so hard while drifting in the water
y'all get yelled at for being in the way of other kayaks, so y'all take a break from something y'all didn't even start and eat ice cream
there's a lot of other things to do at the place you brought him, so y'all venture out and go on water slides, play with water guns, feed alligators, (which he's never seen before and almost shits himself), and end it with eating seafood
when you're both dry, he takes pictures of you with his camera and posts one on weverse, even though he isn't supposed to
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lemmetreatya · 1 year
Text
home for new years — husband!reiner x fem!reader
contents: fluff, sex, m!pen
happy new years to everyone!! last fic for the year but not the last from me! the last 4 months on here have been great and i cant wait to see what 2023 brings us! thank you to everyone whos supported me and my work so far i love u all MWAH! 🫶🏾🫶🏾
home for new years will have you declining invitations and calls from your friends who are asking both you and reiner to back the nye party sasha and niccolo are hosting.
“i’m sorry, sash! not this year. me and reiner already planned to just have a night in between the both of us.”
“but you can come and spend it together with us!” she’d whine into the receiver.
you could only chuckle at her. even though she may have come across as invasive or unregarding of the quality time you’ve decided to dedicate to spend with your spouse, you knew she came from a place of love.
sasha wasnt the only one. both of your respective messages were blowing up; relatives who lived in different countries already wishing you the new years well due to their forward timezones, friends asking about the motives and misc notifications.
none of them, however, were as adamant as reiner’s younger cousin.
“why cant i spend new years with you two?! if you’re only staying home then that means you’re not doing anything important.” gabi moaned.
“what we want to do is important enough that we dont need you around. we literally spent christmas eve, christmas day and even boxing day with you, isnt that enough?” your husband responded.
reiner was definitely tired of gabis back and forth notion that she practically needed to be in your hair on all seasonal events. even though he was too kind to say it to her face, he definitely made it known to you through the agitated expressions he occasionally made behind her back.
“no, it’s not enough! there’s no reason for you not to see me if you’re free.” she haggled.
reiner sighed loudly. you could tell that he was tapping out from the argument as from the way he rested his head against the sofa back.
seeing him no longer want to entertain his cousin, you decided to step in. with an easy smile, you replied to her instead.
“just because we’re staying home it doesn’t mean we’re free.”
she didn’t say anything but she definitely considered your argument a lot easier than she did reiner’s. reiner always said she listened to you better.
“if it makes for anything, we can spend new years day together?” you kindly offered.
gabi huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest and bounced herself onto the couch.
“that’s such a cheap excuse. no one does anything on new years. it’s a free holiday. you wouldn’t be sacrificing anything to be with me, you guys don’t even go nowhere. i am literally the only fun in your lives.”
even though you were surprised at her level of rebuttal, you couldn’t help but laugh aloud at the twelve year olds words. whilst you and reiner may not be the childless lavish-life living adults she wanted you to be, she still seemed to want to spend every waking moment with you both.
but alas, you and reiner were okay with that life for now because it meant you had room to spend new years at home.
you didn’t have to worry about childcare expenses or who was willing to have your kin on a holidays like this. you didn’t even have to worry about answering to anyone for anything. you both had the night to spend it within each other and that alone was the reason you were fine with how things were.
“i’m really happy we’re spending new years like this.”
reiner placed the last platter down onto the coffee, the look on his face giddy as sat down next to you.
“same. i feel like we don’t get to spend a lot of our holidays with it just being the two of us. it’s a nice change.” you replied, fingers already sneaking into one of the snacks.
reiner’s arms found solace over your shoulders, his warmth already seeping into you as you pressed play on the remote which started up the movie.
“we should deffo do it more often then.”
he said more quietly due to his awareness of the movie starting. still, looking down at you, reiner couldn’t help but plant a closed mouth kiss to your temple.
“deffo.” you agreed, your attention already captivated with the movie introduction.
there was no doubt; reiner would definitely treasure this new years.
throughout the year, the two of you were always so busy. if it wasn’t work then it was extra-curricular commitments and even in between those times, the both of you were deeply involved with the lives of your family and friends.
deciding to simply spend it with just the two of you was a well curated decision. really and truly, the both of you could have spared yourselves once again and indulged with the lives of others.
but deciding to chose each other just this once was the best decision you could have ever made.
“god, i love you so much.”
reiner endearingly muttered into your ears as he pumped himself in and out of you. the soft whimpers you poured out into his were just as sweet as your arms hooked around his neck.
“i-love you too, rei.” you breathed, the feeling of his dick stretching your insides so familiar yet estactic.
and oh how you did love this man because when he first offered for the both of you to ditch all new year plans just so he could spend it with you, in you, you couldn’t help but to allow him what he wished.
making love to reiner in the most enchanting low light and soft candle glow was such a way to go into the new years.
rough and lustful sex had its place and it was definitely one of your favourite past times with reiner. but there was none of that right now. there was no biting, rough handling, guttural or carnal intent, nothing.
just you and reiner underneath the blankets, vulnerable and opened for the other to indulge in.
and you loved that, because this, was how you wanted to spend new years. with reiner, and totally enamoured by him.
and just as the neighbouring fireworks bursted outside your bedroom window, and your phones simultaneously buzzed with texts, you couldn’t think of a better way to go into the next age but within his arms.
with the indication that you had been graced into a new year, the both of you wispily smiled into the others embrace.
reiner continued to chase his climax as he lightly kissed the top of your shoulder, his face then burying into the crook of your neck
“ha-happy new year, baby.” he said with a grin, his hands still working over your curves beneath the duvet.
“happy…new year to you too, rei.” you muttered back, your hands gently caressing the short bristled hairs on the back of his neck.
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fuck-customers · 1 year
Note
Why why WHY do customers think it's okay to cut their own fabric/trims/velcro??? Like why in all hell would that be the process?? There are literally giant cutting counters with staff at them cutting fabric for people!
Firstly, who the fuck is walking around with scissors in their purse? And secondly, when they bring their mangled piece of fabric to me at the front register, how do they expect me to know what it is so I can put it on the computer?? Do they expect me to take their word on the length they cut? Sorry but I cant enter "about a metre and a bit" into the computer ffs
Hilariously though, a guy did this with several meters of high quality velcro. $36 per metre. Usually we tell customers to buy the much cheaper off-brand hook & loop, but since this guy thought he didn't need anyone's help he got the stupidly expensive one. After I told him off I made him go find the packaging and take it to a cutting counter to be measured so he could pay. Ended up being almost 200 bucks and he was forced to cough up since he'd cut it himself lmaoooo
Posted by admin Rodney.
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ivanzplaid · 2 years
Note
Hey so it’s dysphoria hours rn and I’m hating it. A lot of the dysphoria is for the dumbest things but whatever. Can I get some head cannons for Billy Lenz, The Grabber (obviously), Candyman, Otis Driftwood and Lawrence Gordon (if it’s not too much) helping a trans masc reader with dysphoria? Thank you as always ❤️
-📼
hi!! im so sorry about that, and of course i can, i know how awful things can be so id be happy to do that for you🫶 i hope things start to get better, but in the mean time im here for you cassette anon <3
requests are open, masterlist is up :)
Slashers x Dysphoric Transmasc Reader
Warnings: Possessive Behaviors, Fluff, Mentions of Murder
------------------------------------------------------------
The Grabber
when he sees you sulking around, not as much energy as before, and hiding yourself even when hes not there, he becomes immediately concerned, rushing to you and sitting down with you to see whats wrong and how he can make it better
as we know, hes a great listener, hes interactive and shows you hes listening, nodding his head and letting out a few words while you think through what to say
he will want to hold you in some way or another, maybe your shoulder or having you in his arms, but if you arent feeling that he will back off with a slightly surprised "oh" from under his breath
is more than happy to sit down with you and talk, he wants to learn more about you and how he can love you better, he just wants you to love him back so he would do whatever he needs
after you tell him, he wants to be as accommodating as he could be, may come off a little corny but it shows hes supportive
he gladly gives you his sweaters and cardigans if you want extra layers, and will have you exchange your ( most likely dirty ) shirt for his, he knows not to overstep his boundaries if youre dysphoric, so he'll let you upstairs to his room and let you be while you pick out something that will leave you most comfortable
he praises you a lot, says whatever he thinks will leave you feeling the best, telling you youre his 'good boy' or his gorgeous boyfriend, he wants you to feel affirmed and loved, but of course he puts 'my' infront of most affirmations, he likes to show possessiveness even in comfort
this gives him more reasons to be around you, the more he comforts you the more his ego is boosted, he loved to be your source of self fulfillment, but its his nature afterall
makes meals that hold more testosterone in them, he wont tell you, but its his little secret that he holds
will establish compliments even more into your relationship, he tries to be subtle about it thr best he possibly could be
if you didnt have a binder on you, or didnt have one in general, hes more than compliant to be on the lookout for some, or take a trip to acquire one, it wont be the highest quality due to it being the 70s, but it will work
im so sure this man has weights he never uses, they most likely have dust on them, so if youre the type of person who likes to work out and feels better after doing it, theyre all yours, hes happy to join you
overall 9.9/10, he just wants you happy and loved in your shared home, he may have taken you but he makes sure that you feel cared for in his own albert way🫶
"Do you- do you have any sweaters i could use, I just need another layer."
"Of course I do, my closet is your closet love!"
//
Billy Lenz
billy is special, he truly doesnt mind that youre trans, he saw you as a guy when he first laid eyes on you, so when you tell him youre trans he needs it simplified, and after that he goes on with life, you arent leaving him & you arent injured, so he loves you all the same
he picks up on how you act quickly, he memorizes your personality like its his own, his way of showing affection almost
when he sees a change in your usual attitude and behavior, hes curious & he cant hide it, he may be smothering in his attempts to see whats wrong, being in your presence a lot or in your face, of course with a concerned tone to him
"Billy notice Piggy's upset, why!"
what a caring man
maybe overbearing, but he wants to know whats up so he can care for you, solve and try to ease whatever youre feeling
when you do tell him, or explain what and how dysphoria is affecting you, hes going to be on high alert for a few moments, as far as he knows youre hurting because of something you cant control and hes nervous
will hop into your arms and most likely knock you over onto his mattress to secure you in his arms
he has the instincts to comfort you so he will do just that
will cradle you and talk to you in a rambled hushed voice, saying what seems like nonsense at 60 mph
once you assure him that you arent in immediate danger he will lighten up, but he sticks around you entirely, comforting you in a hushed voice and asking repeatedly if youre ok
when he kills his victims he raids their closet for you, seeing if there may be anything youd wear to make you feel more comfortable
billy will constantly refer to you as handsome and cute, leaving kisses on your face to remind you he loves you
when you sit and talk to him about it he is antsy, twitching a bit but trying to contain his natural energetic self to fully get what youre saying, he will ask you if he can make you feel better or what he can do for you, he is ready to be at your service to aid you
nurse billy my love
overall 8/10, billy is caring, maybe a but overboard but it shows how much love he has for you and how far hes willing to go, hes grateful for you so he wants you to know it <3
"Billy got this for Piggy, does Piggy like it?"
//
Candyman
given his past, he doesnt discriminate and is a curious man, hes willing to learn about you, for you
hes always been for this, but offers to turn you immortal, he believes it could solve most problems because after youre immortal, your image is what you want it to be, spending time with your boyfriend in a perfect image that reflects you, he sees the beauty of eternity
of course the offer stands open for your convenience and his eternal love for you, but besides that, he is a compassionate and blessed listener
he may initiate this conversation, he can sense that youre distressed, he has the ability to have a healthy relationship, its one of his qualities, he wants to talk it out and be reasonable and hear what is making you feel that way
once you describe it to him hes understanding, he embraces you for a hug, assuring you that he gets what you said snd he realizes the feelings
is the most supportive man in a healthy way, he calls you his dear boyfriend and is very protective of your image, not being afraid to slice somebody or send bees their way if they say anything out of line
he makes it known that youre his boyfriend, you arent anything short of that, he affirms that you know this
torturing somebody in your name because they said something negative about you is all game, he doesnt hold back
he wraps you in his coat and stays in bed with you if you need comfort, holding you close to him as you let it out
does go out of his way to search for things that may help, foods, clothing, etc.
he wants you to feel comfortable when youre with him, and he will accommodate to whatever he sees fit
if you even talk about clothes youd been wanting, its yours, its for the greater food afterall, and its not like he would have to pay for it
overall 11/10, a lovely comforter and relationship guy, he knows how to please you, but still wants to hear from you, believes that both voices should be heard if something happens, and he absolutely adores you, so of course he would do everything for you
"Immortal life can fulfill one's needs in a snap, I can deliver a power you didn't know you were craving, in the name of us."
-
"A divine figure as yourself shouldn't be taken aback by unwanted feelings, I feel sorrow that you do."
//
Otis Driftwood
i love that you picked him as well i have to mention, so perfect
you may not know it at first, but he studies you quite a bit, analyzing you & seeing what youre about, so he suspects somethings wrong when you arent yourself
of course youd told him your trans before, and as we know the firefly household holds no room for bigoted ideals, so youre just as loved as anyone else, no need to worry for that
as stated before, otis has a keen eye, especially for his love, so when youre sitting in bed most days or not using your voice, hes concerned, he wants to know whats taken the light away from his sunshine
"Listen darlin', anything you wanna say? You're acting like somebody gutted ya,"
odd way of confronting you but he needs to know whats making you so down, it makes him itchy and irrational when his boyfriend is acting abnormal
he may feel guilty, like he should know what youre thinking and feeling, so a conversation is needed on both ends
explaining to him could take two minutes or two hours, all depends on how in depth it becomes
will ask you what he could do to help, he makes mental notes that he may or may not forget, he listens to you but he may seem distracted as thoughts are moving through his mind rapidly
he does what you ask of him, itll be spaced out since he may be busy, but he would happily set aside his work for you
one thing he may request is that you be in his work, a painting or sculpture depicting you or something he thinks of when he thinks of you, they can be abstract or direct, but he frames you in the light you wished to be put it
is a very firm & possessive lover, if 'company' is over and they slip up or make a move, he has nothing holding him back from strangling them then and there, he lets it be known that rude behavior or snarky comments at you are off limits, hes not afraid to enforce it
will think you look amazing in his clothes, may even give you them to wear in the first place because he admires the way you look in them
can be soft for you when needed, if you need a shoulder to cry on, hes in the privacy of you two's room in seconds to assist, and if you need affirmations, hes got a hundred for you now and a hundred for you later
overall 9.9/10, we know and love otis here, his boyfriend meter may be interesting but he lets it be known youre his boyfriend and that only, doesnt take kindly to anything else & if youre doubting yourself, he calls bullshit, complimenting you immediately
"Well fuck, why don't you put my clothes on more often? You're smokin'!"
//
Lawrence Gordon
another reason i love this man, hes a doctor🫶
he knew previously you were trans, coming out to him mayve been scary, but he loves you all the same, and has a decent amount of information hes learned about trans people from med school, he doesnt care, hes glad you were comfortable enough to tell him
hes a busy man, so the time you two share he submerges himself in, but when you begin to act out of character & seem confined to yourself, he does question if its dysphoria, but wants to hear what you have to say
as soon as you tell him its your dysphoria hes understanding, having you explain in detail how youre feeling and its like experiencing it, a primary source telling him how it is may help him comfort you better
he holds you in his lap, massaging your shoulders as you talk it out, sharing the moment
lightly puts his head on your shoulder if youd prefer silence over verbal comfort, he knows that you know what you want best, and if its silence or talking, no contact or physical affection, he listens and respects you, youre his precious, his prestigious grace that hes blessed with
while hes out and sees a stuffed animal or item that he think would help he gets it, to have you as his is a gracious thing, he wants you to know it as well
doctor alert again, and since i believe hes a great cook, he makes foods that will help boost your testosterone while still making it delicious
he follows whatever you say will help, if you need more layers hes searching through his closet to determine what youd look best in, if you want to hear affirming words youve went to the right man, he has a way of depicting you as ravishing as possible, he truly worships your figure and is not afraid to tell you every little thing he loves about you in a 'matter of fact' tone
money is never a problem, see a binder youd like snd its yours, a packer for extra comfort? its bring delivered
from his house in saw 2004 & the fact hes a doctor, i assume he lives comfortably, savings is jacked up and so is his extra spending money, so after he emotionally comforts you, he questions if youve ever thought of hrt or too surgery, it wouldn't be hurting his pocket to make your life easier to live by
overall 10/10, his best is just amazing and i couldnt possibly tell you how much more i love this man, hes so perfect and i want to just hold him forever smh
"Don't you look charming tonight, huh handsome?"
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i got to this a bit later but ty for sending in another request, i love hearing from you and i hope your dysphoria starts to ease up, i know it sucks :(
requests are open, masterlist is up!
239 notes · View notes
viviwivipoo · 1 month
Note
Headcanons on how the kitsune boys would spend time with you?🙃
hehehehe4eehehehhe4haekgh awuoirg hi yes of course
Fuyu - 
okay first 
he mentions in his dialogue that he wants to go to broadway
so going off of that he would definitely want to watch plays and musical and stuff with you
I feel like he would like,,,
watch shows with you or something
like i saw another acc (@/blushblushbear) say that fuyu watches bridgerton and gossip girl
i cannot agree more
he loves dramas
or actually anything you watch (if you watch shows and stuff)
like if your watching a show / movie on the tv
he’ll just sit next to you and watch
occasionally makes snarky comments about the show / characters / etc. etc…
okay i know my friend said his love language(s) would be physical touch and words of affirmation in the general hc’s thing
and i agree
however i also feel like he’s a quality time kinda guy
just being with you makes him so happy
sometimes he just watches you do things
like basic tasks
or scrolling through social media
or like watching you go on the computer to do stuff and yadda yadda
anyway
he would want to cook with / for you
lord im gonna BUSTTTT
sorry
probably fancy food
likes long car rides with you
likes museum dates
blud might be an art nerd‼️
absolutely would do spa dates
would let you give him a makeover
like do hair, makeup, etc etc
make him a pretty princess
teehee
would absolutely dance with you
whether it be inside, in the rain, where ever. 
lalallaSGH AJSFHGASFHBPAHR i cant think of anything else
Haru -
fancy dinners are a must
and you best believe hes always paying the bill
movie dates too
either at the theater or at home
actually i think he would prefer watching movies at home with you
so that he can cuddle with you while watching it without those darn recliner chairs in the way
would also cook for you
like dinners and stuff and/or breakfast in bed (as he mentioned in his dialogue)
would pick out some of your outfits (if you let him)
and would do or help do your makeup / nails if you do that stuff
hehehheeeheh
he likes to go on walks with you
like connecting with nature (🤓☝️)
(kidding about that nerd emoji i also like connecting with nature)
also i feel like he would do silly photo shoots with you
boba dates boba dates boba dates boba dates boba dates bo
semi-off topic but i feel like he would be very into pda
he wants everyone to know that you are his
and he is yours
SAVE ME IM GOING FERAL
sorry
anyway 
also off topic but i feel like i had to share this but he would give you random massages
like if your just laying face down scrolling through your phone he’ll sit next to you and start massaging you back
or like if your sitting down doing something he’ll just start rubbing your shoulders
KILL ME /POS
anywho
i feel like he would also let you do his hair and makeup and stuff
hehe
i feel like he would like doing basic tasks with you
just to be around you for a little longer than he already is
like brushing your teeth / hair, going to the grocery store, etc
also i dont know i didnt think of this earlier but he would want to go out clubbing / partying with you
teehee
im sure i can conjure up more for haru but my brain physically wont let me
Aki - 
silly dates
likes lego-building dates
would go on tiktok live with you
and watch them with you
on said tiktok lives, he would be doing the randomest shit
and pranking / harassing people
would also beg to make tiktoks with you
secretly loves going to target with you
Must be holding you hand at all times though
food truck dates
and food tour dates
Would take pictures of all the food and post them on insta or smth
Build-a-bear dates but he would choose the ugliest bear for himself
loves playing video games with you
plays genshin (ironically), zelda, etc
would BEG to play among us with you and would always be red (and constantly be the imposter)
when you guys hang out he will an OBNOXIOUS amount of insta reels / tiktoks
when you guys are at restaurants he would fake a engagement / anniversary / birthday to get free food
has lightsaber battles with you (he collects lightsabers)
loves to watch you put on your makeup (if you wear any)
goes to the mall with you and pranks people
mall photo booth is a must
makes you go to conventions
ex. funko pop, anime, comic con
movie nights, and he buys you your favorite snacks
Movie nights would include diehard, spaceballs, superbad, mall cop, white chicks
unironically likes the kissing booth and jimmy neutron
may or may not have a crush on jacob elordi
i cant think of anything else lalaallal
sorry for the lack on aki's end again he's a little hard to write for 😔😔
ty for the req 😜
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rainforest-daisies · 2 years
Text
Indiana!jonathan vs California!jonathan x Reader
Warnings: smut near the end, cursing, that’s all?
A/n: just a really long headcanon of my fav Jonny eras<3 I couldn’t help but give the fav boy some content on my page:)
Indiana!jonathan is really respectful and wouldn’t do anything social unless he had to. He wouldn’t even talk to you, you’re just so fucking pretty that he couldn’t spill three words out. You make him nervous, but he wouldn’t let it show. He wouldn’t show His jealousy either, seeing you around guys that he deemed to be “much hotter” than him made him feel insecure, but he never told anyone. Being the “man” of his house put a lot of stress on him, so sometimes he can seem off putting and rude if you catch him at the wrong time. Awful Rumors spread, he was sure that you wanted nothing to do with him by now. It only took a little while for you two both to realize how perfect the other was.
California!jonathan is a bit more carefree. And being around so many new people always set off his social anxiety, but certain people stood out to him. That guy who greeted him when he first walked in, that one student he bonded with for the love of photography, and the absolutely gorgeous cheerleader that had gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen. That cheerleader was you.
After dating, Jonathan isn’t too scared to show his possessiveness as much. When a hot guy is making advances, he’ll subtly walk up to you and ask you a simple question, “Hey babe? Do you know what day the teacher said that quiz was due?” And leave with a quick kiss to the cheek.
With will being older, and not having to be taken care of anymore, he felt much more at ease. Also having argyle there, being able to spend some quality time together and just relax (By relax I mean, smoke a blunt and start talking to each other about how sexy their partners are). Don’t get me wrong, he still has some days where things don’t go as planned and he has outbursts, but it doesn’t take much calming to get him to nuzzle into a hug from you.
Nsfw:
Indiana!jonathan would be a sub. 100%. Like I said, he’s the man of the byers house, so he needs someone to take over every once in a while. At first, he thought he needed to be dom all the time, but then you both started communicating. He cant decide if he likes giving or receiving better. He loves the taste of your cum, watching you heave and pant, cute noises gently leaving your mouth like they’re a prayer. But he loves the look of you choking on his hard cock, staring back up at him through your eyelashes with a slight glistening In your eye, and your hand gently rubbing your clit. He loves them both. He would have a fantasy of being caught masturbating by you, and it would be surprisingly occurring in his nightly routine.
California!Jonathan would be a more frequent dom, but honestly still a sub at heart. He loves pounding into you while he kisses your jawline, whispering little praises about your body in between each one, and eventually overstimulating himself until you cum, but there’s nothing like the kneeling lotus on his cozy bed, a blanket wrapped around you both, snuggled into each other’s necks as you chase your orgasms. His biggest fantasy is you sitting on his face. He would cum so quickly if he ever thought of you suffocating him between your legs, it’s something that he’s wanted ever since you two got sexual. He doesn’t even care what you weigh, he will pull you down onto him if you stall for too long.
I got a little carried away sorry(not really)🤭
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davekat-sucks · 1 day
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This is was supposed to be a simple ask but it ended up getting long because of there being too many question and discussions but barely any answers so sorry about that.
On the topic of WhatPumpkin sometimes we all have to wonder what the fuck is going on behind the scenes, the latest news we got werent that much and it felt more of a like "Hey guys we are still alive dont forget about us" situation and it doesnt help that we cant really get any info because of how the only guy that Im atleast aware that works on it and is online is James and although I have no source because it was months ago, when beyond canon came back I remember him getting asked about Hiveswap and i dont remember if he answered it on the blog or on a reddit qna but he had said he cant really do much about it because hes just the music guy on that department and not an director or writer and he probably cannot say whats going on if hes aware of even the minimum because of NDAs and you know the situation is weird when not even the new director for post canon can do nothing about it or doesnt know what the fuck is going on over there either (i believe its more of the former).
On the same topic Hussie jumping the ship in my opinion feels like such an awful move in a moral and community sense, he hires fucked up people and ends up going through development hell and instead of trying to fix it he just runs away and gives someone else the work. He becasically invited destruction to that place by not doing background checks and shit and now everyone else but him has to suffer for it. I wonder if WhatPumpkin will close business after they finish Hiveswap (if they even manage to finish it) or if their writting quality wont be bad if they try to do Hauntswitch now.
I also sometimes wonder if Hauntswitch was made first maybe things could have been better. Think about it:
It happens on the Human World and you play as a cool kid looking troll and that could open the doors for a lot of potential to explore more about the Earth on the Homestuck universe and its conspiracy theories and also give us more video game parody mechanics.
The whole conspiracy theory Jude had that iirc had even the USA presidents connect to may be right considering the easter egg that shows some sort of cultists standing outside the mansion we see on the background and watching the events unfold.
We would get more answers for whatever the fuck those creatures that attacked the manor where.
another good dog best friend to fill the bec shaped hole in our soul <:
Exploration of what SkaiaLabs exactly does.
Overall sounding like an awesome story itself, a alien coming to earth and fighting a cult related to the presidents with a human companion. Especially considering how Dammek sounds like hes an asshole and also because of how trolls are usually violent could lead to interesting interactions.
I might be wrong and biased though but I feel like that concept could attract more outsiders than Hiveswap could ever wish to do. And hopefully thats it and that I wont waste almost an hour of my life rambling about this stuff (for my own sake because i feel like i could have spent my time better but i also need to post this somewhere and i dont use social media most of the time and when i do its usually to see fanart, memes and overall discussion of my fav franchises) but I probably will in the future.
It's cool with this ask. You brought up many good points here.
Yes, the question about Hiveswap was asked in a Q&A back in October 30th, 2023 from James Roach here (Archive ver for backup). The news about development should be something more like how Toby does with the Deltarune newsletter. Monthly, maybe do a special event ARG thing that gives insight of what's coming up, or anything like that. Though even with that, it might be probably too little too late since we are at 11 years since the Kickstarter had funded. Probably doesn't help since 2 million dollars was wasted, it's a mystery how the game is still being worked on if the original Kickstarter money that was given to them, had been used up. What is WhatPumpkin's new source of income then? Do they have a second job they aren't telling us about? Are they using part of that Patreon money from Beyond Canon since technically there are some that work within Hiveswap too like James? Then there's the fact Hussie not only wasted the money, but basically left the Kickstarter project he started in the first place. He may own it and be credited as the creator, but he won't be involved in the future Acts and Hauntswitch. I'm surprised nobody is pissed at him for scamming them out of 2 million dollars. Do people not care if the original person who hosted it left? Especially with the truth come to light thanks to Gio's research on this. I wouldn't be surprised if WhatPumpkin does shut down because they couldn't gain the sales needed after releasing Hiveswap Act 3. People will probably wonder if even buying stuff from Topatoco would help or not with HS merch like the prints slowly resurfacing. Drawing in the crowds from old and new to play the game will be tough. I wouldn't be surprised if Hauntswitch was first made in mind before Hiveswap. Dammek even had a 3D model ready too.
Tumblr media
Likely back when it was still a 3D game, we would control briefly but then after the cutscene of them being transported to the other planet, we would then have to take control of Dammek, have him meet Jude to possibly have him find a way to help him back home, and the pair would adventure on Earth itself for the rest of the game to find out about the monsters and the cult. Dammek's paranoid nature would play off Jude's conspiracy theory pretty well as it has the two involved looking deep into the mystery. I wouldn't be surprised if something about the cult would eventually tie in to his home planet and the rebellion as a final grand twist. An idea like that sounds more interesting than some girl getting lost on an alien planet and was roped into some rebellion that she has no reason to be part of besides being concerned for a friend.
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dolokhoded · 1 year
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hi sorry for bugging you, but i love your peanuts art! also do you have any random peanuts headcanons? i’d love to hear them
but of COURSE !!! here's a bunch of them.
schroeder has autism, that's pretty standard i've seen a lot of people say it, but it's the realest headcanon ever. best autism rep schroeder peanuts.
also marcie has adhd. that one has no basis i just decided it
the whole gang declared some random day snoopy's birthday when they were little and they celebrate is every year even when they're older. it's not even his real birthday. but he gets presents from everyone so it's okay.
(charlie brown probably knows his real birthday too he just didn't bother)
violet is aromantic and randomly came out to schroeder at senior prom and then she was just like. "this conversation never happened btw."
(semi-came out anyways. she didn't really have a term for it but you get it)
lucy really likes to sing ! she's not like aspiring to be a singer or anything but she enjoys it and she's pretty decent at it
rerun and lucy argue a lot more than linus and lucy did once he grows up a little. of course it's just a sibling thing and they really love each other but just like
in my brain, linus is like maybe 2 or 3 years younger than lucy and rerun is about 5 or 6. so imagine that when lucy is at the end of high school and really getting serious and working hard because you bet my girl has ambitions
rerun is a tween. have you ever met the unbridled chaos and horror that is a tween boy.
he's definitely the problem van pelt child. but he's great we like him
i <3 the van pelt siblings
ooh this is such a cliche but schroeder was lucy's emergency prom date. y'know that trope in literally every teen media ever that i never really got until derry girls
lucy's asshole boyfriend broke up with her like. an hour before prom because he was in love with another girl
(this guy's not a Complete Asshole in my brain he was just. In A Situation too. i dont know why i've given him so much thought but he has redeemable qualities, his relationship with lucy was pretty decent before that happened and he was TRYING HIS BEST OK !!!)
and lucy completely Loses it because 1) her boyfriend was in love with another girl the entire time 2) she has no date anymore 3) she cant show her face to prom alone after this that's EMBARASSING LINUS 4) she really just wanted to go to prom
so linus sees all of this going down and he rings schroeder and he's like hey schroeder what's good
and schroeder bolts to their house. in astronomical speed. then acts like he's totally chill about it he's just trying to help out his friend
tee hee i care them
this was not supposed to be that long but then i started rambling about their senior prom anyways that's all thank u for the ask bye
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