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thelibrarian1895 · 20 hours

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If your sibling is a rogue then make the best of it

I would like to think that Jason is very Hondo Onakha about kidnapping, very dramatic, fairly polite/chill to the one he kidnapped, minimal trauma, very professional overall but also very theatrical. Out of anyone in Gotham to have as your kidnapper, Jason aka the Red Hood is by far the very best person.

ALL of Jason's family whether they be legal, biological, emotional, or honorary, will absolutely try to convince Jason to kidnap them to get them out of some stupid civilian event. Whether or not Jason will go along with it will depend on several factors such as:

Does this benefit Bruce and get him out of a boring civilian event too? Then so sorry, you're just going to have to suffer!

How busy is Jason at the moment? Because being a drug lord and vigilante is actually pretty time consuming and kidnapping can be a lot of work for potentially very little gain.

What does Jason get out of it? Yes money is all well and good but Jason is rich by his own merits and can just steal from Bruce whenever, there's got to be more to it!

When is the last time Jason has kidnapped this sibling? He can't do it too often or it gets less effective. He has a reputation to maintain after all!

It may also depend on which sib is asking and what they need to be "saved" from.

Dick asks to be kidnapped from a bachelor auction charity? Ha! No chance, sorry Dickie! He will be there though and take pictures and laugh. (And also join all the other siblings who are stalking Dick and the winner of the auction in the event the winner wasn't one of the Bats or an invited member of the JL or Titans using Bruce's money) Dick asking to be kidnapped from a gala or some opening night of trendy place he's at to maintain civilian status? Maybe but the bribe has to be considerable. And it cannot benefit Bruce. Dick's normal bribes consist of taking some tedious part of an investigation over for Jason or getting intel from JL databases for Jason and the Outlaws.

Cass? Anytime and always, favorite sister who can beat him up has special kidnapping privileges, though they did stop for a very long time when some weirdos put out the theory that the Red Hood was in love with Gotham's Princess. (idk if Cass is considered Gotham's Princess in any version of canon but she is to me) Cass does still repay Jason in the form of Black Bat keeping an eye on Jason's territory when he's out of Gotham for any significant length of time.

Tim? He does owe the kid for several incidents and Tim normally doesn't abusive the privilege so he'd probably do it but there does have to be some sort of bribe for appearances sake. Tim usually gets Jason to agree in exchange for pictures of Batman tripping over his cape or in some other ridiculous position. Bonus in Jason's mind if Tim requests a kidnapping when Bruce is off world or otherwise occupied, therefore giving Brucie Wayne's reputation a hit. However if Tim wants to be kidnapped from something where Bruce is also suffering as Brucie, Tim is SOL (Tim might get revenge by getting Kon to wear Red Hood gear and "kidnap" Tim from the event if Jason refused. Kon will do it because Tim asked and also I would like to think that Kon isn't too fond of the guy who beat his best friend/boyfriend nearly to death and will mess with him if given the chance) Since kidnapping normally interferes with things that Tim wants to do however, he may instead bribe Jason to not kidnap a sibling that has asked to be kidnapped. Jason usually obliges this no kidnapping request.

Barbara? Sorry, no, he doesn't want to stress the Commissioner like that. He will, however, kidnap other people for her if she asks.

Stephanie? No Stephanie, he doesn't care what you offer, he's not kidnapping you so you can avoid your finals! Stephanie has, however, worn various wigs and been various hostages who died at the hands of the Hood in order to maintain his reputation. She gets paid in baked goods for her service.

Damian? Damian considered the idea ridiculous and proclaimed he'd never stoop so low and he would carry out his duties no matter how onerous! Damian then had to go to a Gotham gala. Damian is trying very hard to figure out a suitable bribe to get the Red Hood to kidnap him often enough that Bruce will be forced to keep Damian away from galas because of the ongoing security threat. So far it hasn't worked because Damian is very bad at bribing Jason, Jason thinks Damian forced to interact with normal people is funny, and Tim is successfully bribing Jason to ignore Damian's bribery attempts. The Red Hood has "kidnapped" Damian once, as a treat, when he thought the kid was looking particularly down about something.

Duke? Duke has yet to be made to attend any society gatherings as the solo Wayne (normally that falls to Bruce, Dick, or Tim) and can usually be spotted hanging out with Cass by the snack table at any gala or trendy event. He's not at Cass's level of reading body language but he's pretty darn good and he and Cass have reached a new level of being able to avoid annoying rich people while at parties. Duke is Cass's favorite gala buddy. Duke hasn't felt the need to ask Jason to kidnap him yet but Jason will allow the first one to be free of charge, no questions asked. After that Duke hasn't figured out suitable bribes for Jason but has realized that all of his siblings are hyper competitive and that Jason would absolutely wager a kidnapping in a competition or for a bet.

Alfred? If Alfred asked then Jason would without any caveat. Alfred will not ask however but might ask on behalf of someone else and Jason will comply.

Bruce? Jason just laughs. And if someone else is planning on kidnapping Brucie Wayne from a particularly boring business meeting or gala? Jason will actively thwart the kidnapping to force Bruce to continue to deal with social activity.

Jason usually splits a portion of the ransom money into bonuses for his goons since their original job outline is drug dealer/enforcer/mobster and not kidnapper. If they're going to get major felonies on their records, better make it financially worth it. All of Jason's goons are masked during any kidnapping event. The rest of the ransom money goes towards a charity of Jason's choosing.

Jason has also kidnapped people who are not his family or family adjacent. Barbara thought her dad could use a vacation at one point but he didn't have the PTO for it so Barbara had the Red Hood kidnap him. James Gordon experienced the weirdest kidnapping of his life that included some of the best food he'd ever eaten, an extremely soft bed, his pile of books that were on his reading list, and access to the sports games he'd meant to watch. The ransom was successfully paid after he had a week to relax. Gordon was then, as per protocol, allowed time to relax after his "harrowing" event. Barbara forced him to take the time. Strangely enough, some politicians who had been giving the Commissioner a hard time were suddenly very quiet when James Gordon came back, well rested, well fed, and ready to get back to the grind. It, of course, had nothing to do with the very polite emails with pictures attached that they all received while the Commissioner was very publicly out of the way.

Oliver Queen, when he was visiting Gotham, was kidnapped by the Red Hood. He was released after the ransom was paid and specifically he was released back in Star City. Mr. Queen was unavailable for comment after the incident but some sources say that he was cursing bats for some reason.

Lois Lane found herself kidnapped by Red Hood and ransomed by the Daily Planet while Superman was off world. Lois Lane returned safely to Metropolis and published a shocking expose on Luthor's latest scheme. Her sources for the article remain a secret.

Bruce is very grumpy about the whole thing, not just because Jason won't help his poor father get out of the stupid social event, but also because Jason being technically a rogue like this makes it very hard for him to successfully argue that Jason should let himself regain legal living status.

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aaagustd · 23 hours

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room for two | jjk: prologue

a series from the "Misfit Parent Collection"

⌞banner and dividers by @itaeewon

title: room for two

pairing: heir/retired boxer!jeon jungkook x single mother!reader

genre/rating: angst, slow burn, eventual smut, strangers to lovers, ceo!jungkook, divorced!reader, aged up characters (in their mid thirties), surrogacy/pregnancy au; 18+

summary: As you signed the contract, you thought all your problems were solved—and so did he. However, no one can predict what life will throw your way.

Despite your prejudices, this journey will reveal that the bond you share goes deeper than your womb.

wc: 1.7k

warnings: alcohol consumption, mentions a sh*tty parent, character death, borderline inappropriate workplace relationships but nothing has exactly happened, swearing, mentions boxing & knockouts, people either like jungkook or they hate him, let me know if i missed anything

release date: april 26th, 2024; 10:50pm est

note: the prologue is here !! i hope you all are ready for this ride. it's been a two year journey for me and i'm so happy you all get to join me. we have a lot to cover and so many people to meet. i hope you're ready !!

series masterlist | main masterlist | inbox | join the taglist? | read on ao3

One year ago.

The doors open to reveal the setting sun on the horizon. Shades of orange and red paint the sky as the faint presence of stars patiently awaits the giant orb's departure.

Jungkook steps out into the crisp evening air without regard for the gusts that violently displace his perfectly styled bangs.

His urgent steps have nothing to do with the conditions. After a long and exhausting day, he tends to enjoy a nippy pre-spring breeze.

When he approaches the exit, his energy is almost completely drained. The first step he takes out of the building is like an instant charge, and the wind hitting his face is like a slap that brings him back to reality.

If that isn't enough to wake up his brain, the sharpness of his security personnel's tone will surely have him alert.

Two men of large stature guide him to his Porsche. He can only imagine the twinkle in his eyes when they land on his baby—resting idly while she waits for him to claim his rightful seat behind the wheel.

Jungkook nearly bypasses his guards as he takes excited strides toward his vehicle. However, a muscular bicep forms a barricade directly in front of the young CEO, reminding him of the dangers of wandering ahead of them in public.

Only authorized staff are allowed on the premises. Still, even a company as large as Sport's 5 cannot dictate who stands on a public sidewalk. Fortunately, most of the people who choose to spend their time out here are harmless. However, he still understands the importance of safety.

Some people are so desperate they'd do anything to get a picture with the Big 5—a panel Jungkook used to sit on before being offered an executive position.

Sport's 5 comprises five individuals who have had exceptional professional sports careers. These are mainly retired sportsmen and women who still love the game.

Jungkook was offered a seat at the table before he could properly hang up his gloves. Everyone wanted to know his story, his input and opinions, and his firsthand account of the KO he delivered right to Joey "The Rhino" Reese.

Although it was the best highlight of his career, he's never publicly spoken on that night out of respect for the legend and his family. It'd be pointless to keep retelling the events when they're online for everyone to see.

Despite keeping his mouth shut about the fall of an icon, he still receives his share of hate from the boxer's diehard fans.

"Coward!"

He hears a man shouting insults from across the street, but most of his words are inaudible due to the distance. It can't be anything good because a family walking by promptly covers their child's ears every time the man opens his mouth.

Like on any other occasion, Jungkook shrugs off the spew of hate and gets into his car, wishing security a safe night. The engine roars as he pushes start. The sound of purring grasps one of the men's attention, and he turns around with a point, a silent compliment that Jungkook accepts with a nod as he speeds away.

With only headlights in his rearview mirror, Jungkook zooms through the city—wondering where his journey will take him. After the day he's had, home seems like a great option, but he isn't in the mood to spend a weeknight surrounded by silence in a large penthouse.

So, he drives downtown, aiming for any bar without a crowd. That shouldn't be too hard. Most people have work tomorrow, and they aren't in the mood for a party, and neither is he.

A distraction is all he needs to ease his restless mind.

He reaches the heart of the city and parks near the curb. Heads turn as he exits his vehicle, wondering who he could be. With his shades on and natural hair color, it's hard for people to recognize his identity these days.

Still, everyone is captivated by the car he steps out of. They could care less about his appearance. The real attention grabbers are the wealth that oozes from his body and his Porsche. Without money, he's just another guy.

Jungkook adjusts his suit as he scopes out the area. He notices the establishment across from him has upbeat music blasting through the speakers. Judging by the people lined up, waiting to get in—it's more of a nightclub than a lounge.

He sighs as he eliminates one place after another, eventually deciding to walk the strip and see what it offers.

He nearly misses it as he strolls aimlessly, but tucked in the corner—dark and rustic—is just what he's been searching for.

Somewhere laid back and secluded; just somewhere you go for a drink and maybe a few rounds of pool.

He can count the number of occupants in there on one hand, so before anyone can figure out who he is, he steps inside and removes his glasses. He scans the room and acknowledges those who randomly lock eyes with him.

Jungkook can't help but admire the way this place is set up. The outside doesn't do it any justice; he can't even remember the name on the sign. He'll have to check on his way out; tell some of his colleagues to visit so it can gain some more customers.

He'll have to look into that another time, though. He wants to spend only a little time here, so he makes his way to the bar.

Two women stand on each side; one is at the register printing someone's bill, and the other is already waiting for him to order.

The greeting he receives is warm and sincere. One you will only find in a few places. He offers a smile, the best he can give, at least.

"Hey. Just a Jack & Coke for me," he replies.

With a slight nod, the bartender begins preparing his drink.

While Jungkook waits, he starts going through his phone, checking texts he missed while he was up to his neck in paperwork.

Most of them are from associates, his trainer, and…

His assistant?

The number isn't saved because he hasn't used it, but he sees the name in a previous message—letting him know he's speaking with the woman he hired four months ago.

6:54 pm (###) ###-####: Hi! I think I dropped my earring in your car when we grabbed lunch today. Can you check?

He doesn't have to.

Jungkook saw when the earring "fell" between the center console and the passenger seat. It happened right after its owner dropped it there.

He can't help but laugh at the whole thing. Had he remembered, he would have said something immediately, but he has to admit that the low-cut blouse was a great choice. He can't count how many red lights he almost ran, sneaking glances.

Usually, he has no problem keeping things professional, but with all the flirting and teasing over the last few weeks, the temptation is becoming a bit unbearable.

Maybe he should take a detour on the way home and return the "lost" item.

7:49 pm Him: I'll look in a few

After he sends the message, his drink is placed before him, and he abandons his phone without hesitation.

"Tab or no?"

"No, love. That's it for me.."

He places a twenty-dollar bill on the bar and pushes it toward the woman behind the counter.

"Keep what's left," he insists.

She takes the cash and walks to the register, leaving him alone to sip his liquor and bob his head to some classic rock.

As soon as the glass touches his lip, he takes a large sip, and regret washes over his entire body.

"What the—"

"Don't drink that," the other bartender whispers sharply.

She rushes over and takes the glass from his hand, instantly replacing it with a new one.

"She's trying, but…"

Jungkook understands entirely. She's still learning. Everyone's been there, even him.

"Don't worry about it," he insists. "Let me grab my wallet—"

She declines.

"It's on me, sweetheart."

Before he can argue, she walks away and disappears with the horrible drink her coworker made.

Despite the little hiccup, Jungkook is glad he found this little gem. It seems like a nice place for a good time, but also somewhere to unwind. There's a bar, a dance floor, a billiards table—and whoever is in charge of the music has great taste.

He'll definitely be back, maybe even tomorrow.

The next sip he takes does exactly what it's supposed to do. "Goddamn it."

The liquor makes his mouth and throat tingle as it travels into his body. He can feel his body relaxing already. Now, all he needs is a shower and—

His phone buzzes in his pocket, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Once again, the number is unknown.

Jungkook intends to ignore it, but his thumb accidentally presses accept. He stares at the screen in disbelief as he hears the faint sound of someone's voice on the other end of the call.

Slowly, he brings it to his ear and acknowledges the caller.

"Hello?"

"Hi, son."

Great, this is just what he needs right now. A call from his father, someone who basically disowned him for chasing the same dream that led to his wealth and success.

"Yeah, I'm kind of busy. Can I call you back?"

He lies so he can end the call. There isn't a drink here that can give him enough strength to put up with this man. He can't deal with this tonight, and he won't.

"Hold on!" he shouts through the phone, making Jungkook release a defeated sigh.

He's entirely prepared to hang up in his father's face if he has to, but he'll entertain him for a few more seconds.

"Look, I don't know who pumped your balls up so large that you have the audacity to call me, but—"

"It's your grandfather, Jungkook."

There's a pause.

There is a long, dreadful pause. It's as if Jungkook already knows what he's about to say, and unfortunately, his instinct is right.

"He's dead."

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts fics #jungkook fics #jungkook imagines #bts imagines #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fanfic #aaagustd.fics

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feelinungry · 2 days

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and i will always, always, be defending the "plot-holes" that are not actually plot-holes at all. i've seen people on facebook complain so many times about the ending of the game - about the siege of talmberg to be more exact.

"just attack it", "just take it down", "why doesn't divish just do it", "ohh his wife he can't even fuck! nobody gives a damn", "henry doesn't even really care for radzig at this point" etc.

and i have to go back to that one solitary thing this game literally cannot exist without: love. it's the main aspect, it's the pillars the story stands on, it's everything.

medieval movies and books like to picture the old times ala skyrim: "my son was very young when he died. but he did so while doing his duty. he fell for skyrim! he fell for the empire! i do not mourn for i am proud!"

"oh, i loved my father more than anything. but he is gone now. that is life."

it is. but. hear me out. people back then - were actually just like people now. we break down when we lose someone we adore, cherish, love, protect. no matter how stoic we may be, we don't take it lightly, do we?

so, if you think about it, is it a plot-hole, when divish refuses to attack his castle because

it's his home and he loves it

his wife is in there

his friend is also in there?

robard would not attack if it were divish in there. radzig would not attack if it were henry in there. hans would not attack if it were hanush in there. istvan would not attack if it were erik in there. captain bernard would not attack if it were hans in there.

it all comes back to love. and wanting people you care about safe.

martin running back to certain death because his wife is in the village when the cumans attack.

both parents worrying about nothing but their beloved son even while they are being brutally murdered.

everyone on talmberg willing to lock henry up just to keep him away from skalitz (for reasons yet unknown).

theresa making a last stand for someone just as lost as her.

the understanding he's met with when henry comes and admits his failure to radzig, the fact that he went against direct order. (nothing, absolutely nothing else but radzig being in debt to martin, or radzig being someone close to henry, could explain the understanding, the acceptance, and the outcome of the whole situation. how do you think henry - who is just a young man, not a hero, not a dragonborn, not a chosen one - would get away with all this?)

henry backed out of the night raid on talmberg because hans was wounded and wouldn't survive long enough for the mission to succeed.

hans (in one of the outcomes) carried him out on his back, saving his fat ass. no time for glory, no time for saving the hostages when it's suddenly your best friend who is on the ground and bleeding out. he might have succeeded with the mission. yet he didn't hesitate when suddenly it was him who was put in the shoes of those who just wanted to keep their loved ones safe. it was stephanie for divish (he approved the raid). it was radzig for henry (he was the one who went first and most willingly). and it was henry for hans (who immediately backed out on henry's behalf). all those actions were based on love.

would you attack talmberg, knowing there was someone you loved? someone you wanted to know better, someone you wanted to learn how to love, someone who could have been much closer if he only tried? someone you only just met?

the whole story starts with love, continues with love, ends with love. it is everywhere you look and you don't even have to romance anyone to see it, to feel it. it is in the npcs' lives, it's the motivation behind so many actions. it's in henry's decisions. in your decisions.

because, don't you just love this game?

#kcd #kcd talk #kcd brainrot i welcome you back #and fuck off i need to live and sleep #kingdom come deliverance #hans capon #henry of skalitz #radzig kobyla #divish of talmberg

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lunatic-pudge · 2 days

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Postal Dude NSFW Alphabet

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Was gonna work on my TF2 and Postal requests, but I've been sick and was in the ER cause of it. But depsite all of that, I'm still horrifically down bad for this stinky pissman. My need for this man cannot be contained. Halp

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A: Aftercare (What they're like after sex):

Admittingly, his aftercare kinda sucks. Just wipe ya off then pass out. It's just not something he's used to. You're gonna have to teach him how to do some proper aftercare. It'll take some time, but he'll get better at it with some time

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of their and also their partners):

Now I'm putting my own (weird) biases here, Dude likes his hands. They're so long and spidery. Perfect to shove his fingers down your throat. He's such a long and gangly man.

Now his favorite body part on you would be your thighs. Thick thighs means a nice, fat ass and I can just tell that this man is an ass man. And also thigh highs?! The way they hug the thighs are there's that little thigh pudge at the top of the thigh highs. You know what I'm talking about. Dude lives for thick thighs. Choke them with your thighs, he'll die a happy man

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically):

I'd like to think cums a lot. Please let me dream. Just picture him cumming in you so much that it spills out of you as more tries to fill in you. Maybe even creating a little tummy bulge.

But for taste wise, it is BITTER. Like it starts salty but gets bitter the more you taste it. So good luck with that. Man's good for stuffing ya, but the taste is one that will take a bit to get used to. Someone get this man on a better diet!

D: Dirty Secret (pretty self explanitory, a dirty secret of theirs):

I feel like he's secretly an exhibitionist. I just know that Dude would get off to people seeing him getting fucked. Hell, he'd probably let people run a train on him if given the opportunity. This man's a slut to the highest degree even though he gets no bitches

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?):

I'd say he's got a decent amount of experience. Like, he definitely knows what he's doing. Could it be better? Yeah. Much of this man's potential has yet to be discovered

F: Favorite Position (This goes without saying):

Homie doesn't discriminate. Any position is a good position. You wanna ride him? Go for it. Want him to bend you over and pound the fuck out of you? He's already bending you over. He definitely loves being bent over, stuffed and fucked

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.):

Has this man ever been serious? He's a chill boy. I don't really have much to say here. He's a goofy goober

H: Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpent match the drapes? etc.):

I'd say Dude's got a decent amount of hair. Definitely not hair, but not bare. And even then, it's light in color so it doesn't catch your attention at first. And he's kinda groomed. He'll keep up with it if asked

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment? Romantic aspect):

Dude's not much of a romance person. But that doesn't mean he isn't trying. On special occasions, like anniversaries or your birthday, he'll put the effeort in. He'd be cheesy and break out the rose petals. How'd he get them? Don't worry about it. He's even broke out the candles as well, ignore the burn marks on his hands, his ass was not paying attention when lighting them and almost set the trailer on fire

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanons):

He does jack off, kinda often, but it's just never enough for him. He's tried all sorts of things but finds much more satisfaction being able to fuck someone. He gets irritable when he doesn't get needs fufilled

K: Kinks (One or more of their kinks):

I'm doing it. I'm going there. I don't care what you people say. He's got a piss kink. (So does Sniper but he's not apart of this, fight me) He will piss on you and he will have you piss on him. He'd be gross and try to drink your piss. He doesn't care. I'm a piss kink Dude truther

Another major kink I'll throw in here is pegging. He loves it when his lady put the strap-on on, bends him over, and makes him her bitch. Pegging makes Dude the most adorable little sub ever. Just a begging and moaning mess. You know you love it, don't deny it

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do):

Anywhere and everywhere. Just say the words and he's ready. Nothing will stop this horny man. NOTHING

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going):

Your existence gets him going. You could be sitting around, reading a book or watching T.V. and that gets him hard. It's his inner simp showing. What really gets him going is seeing you wearing one of his shirts and nothing else. Especially when the shirt starts to ride up your thigh. It's like your teasing him without realizing

N: No (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs):

Now Dude is a pretty open guy, but of course he has limits. I'll just say that he's not into the really gross stuff. The only gross thing he likes is piss. Like, that's the only time you're gonna see this man at his most vile. Anything else gross and he'll start gagging and leaving

O: Oral (Preference is giving or recieving, skills, etc.):

Loves oral. Prefers to receive but will gladly give. Sit on his face. He's begging you to. But when you give him head, watch out cause if you don't stop him, he'll wanna fuck your face. He loves being able to stuff his cock down your throat

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.):

Loves going fast and rough. He lives for it, especially when you mark him up during it. Rarely is slow and sensual. He'll be slow on thos rare intimate moments he has. But wither way, he will leave you a shaking, satisfied mess afterwards

Q: Quickie (Their opinion on quickies, how often, etc.):

Not the biggest fan but desperate times call for desperate measures. He tries to not partake in quickies often so when it does happen, he's so desperate to cum

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks etc.):

Huge risk taker. The risk is what gets hims going. Always ready to take them. Bouns points if you're like him in that aspect. You two would be such an unstoppable force, for real for real

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?):

He's got some pretty good stamina, especially when he's high on crack. He's practically insatiable. You two will be going at it for HOURS. Practically a whole day of sex so you better be prepared or you'll be a pile of dust afterwards. And yes, he will make fun of you for it.

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?):

Literally in the one scene in Brain Damaged when he's sitting on his couch, there's a fucking dildo on the floor. So obviously yes, he owns toys, and yes he uses them. And yes, he will use toys on you. Why wouldn't he? Using toys means extra fun, and Dude ain't gonna pass up such an opportunity to tease and overstimulate you

U: Unfair (How much do they like to tease?):

Such a teasing bastard, and a hypocrite. Loves to tease and make you beg, but can be stubborn at first when you try to same tactics on him. He knows how to press all the right buttons when teasing. He rightfully deserves to be treated back, but also a little more harsher for being such a little shit

V: Volume (How loud are they? What sounds they make? etc.):

I'd say Dude isn't the loudest, he prefers to hear you rather then himself. But that can easily be changed with a little pegging. Remeber, he's a hoe, so he is fun to make a moaning, whiny mess, just begging for more

W: Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character):

If it isn't obvious by now, this man is bi/pan. You cannot look at this man and say he's straight. It's just such a bold face lie. Homie likes his men, women, enbys, trans people equally. All he wants is a good time. I'd say he has a slight preference for more feminine people. But now by saying that, I'm thinking of femboy Dude and I'm more than here for that

X: X-Ray (Let's see whats going on under those clothes):

Now please bear with me here, cause I unfortunately don't have male anatomy. I'd say he's about six inches, cut, head's this nice little rosy pink color and SENSITIVE

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive):

Very high drive, constantly horny. He cannot be contained. Sometimes multiple rounds a day isn't enough for him. He understand that sometimes, you're not gonna be needy as him so he's used to having to take care of himself. Though he'd appreciate some help during these trying times

Z: Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards?):

Almost immediately after doing the do. That's probably why his aftercare sucks cause he's ready to pass the fuck out most of the time. Falls asleep like a man in the Victorian era dying from Influenza. He's practically clonked out like a dead man too. It's ridiculous and deserves to be bullied for it

#postal #postal dude #postal dude x reader #i seem to have a thing for tall lanky men that constantly piss #is that a good thing #probably not #i think this says a lot about me #and i don't think that's a good thing #oh well

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khaire-traveler · 3 days

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🌊 Subtle Charybdis Worship 🕳️

Visit the beach or a body of water

Learn to sail, kayak, or paddle board

Go swimming; go to hot springs

Get a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of him

Keep a picture of him in your wallet

Collect seashells, dried coral, shark teeth, fish bones, sea glass, etc.

Try to learn how to dive; go diving in the ocean or a nearby body of water

Explore sea caves; explore nearby caves (on land); do this SAFELY!!!!

Have imagery of the ocean, the deep sea, deep sea creatures, ocean creatures, sea storms, sailing boats (especially ancient Greek boats), or massive aquatic animals/dinosaurs around

Have a stuffed animal of him (if you can find one) or a sea creature (deep sea or not)

Engaging in healthy self -reflection; do not dissect your every weakness, focus on your strengths as well

Taking a shower/bath in darkness or lit by candles (SAFELY!!!)

Pick up trash on the beach, in the ocean, or near a body of water

Support environmental or ocean preservation organizations

Learn about the ocean; learn about the deep sea and its creatures

Get comfortable with the concept of uncertainty; learn to release control of the things you cannot control

Face your fears; do something you've been wanting/needing to but have out off due to fear

Drink water regularly; stay hydrated

Play a deep sea exploration video game (Subnautica comes to mind)

Assert your boundaries; make it clear when someone has overstepped them

Release that which no longer serves you, people included

Make a list of all the times you've overcome adversity in your life, big or small; remind yourself of your strength (alternatively, make a list of your strengths)

Make a paper list of all the people or things you wish to overcome; soak the paper, let it crumble; dispose of the remains

Place a cup, jar, bowl, etc. of ocean/salt water on your windowsill at night, especially on a new moon

Once every month (not too often), wash your face and hands with ocean/salt water

Think of outside the box solutions to problems

Work on forgiving yourself of past mistakes; learn from them rather than hold them against yourself

Learn to accept both the dark and light parts of yourself; everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and that's not inherently bad

Keep a diary; express your emotions in it, both positive and negative; keep track of how you're feeling, be sure to take care of yourself

Get some hard work done; things you've been putting off, strenuous tasks you need to do, a hobby that requires some elbow grease, etc.

This one was pretty challenging, I won't lie. Charybdis represents adversity - an obstacle Odysseus must face in order to return home to Ithaca. Due to this, I feel worshipping him would involve overcoming adversities and taking pride in how far you've come. I'll likely add more to this list later on as more ideas come to me, but for now, this will be my list of discreet ways to worship the monster Charybdis. Take care, everyone, and may you always find the strength within yourself to keep moving forward. 💜

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

#helpol #hellenic polytheism #hellenic pagan #paganblr #pagan tips #uhhh idk if this is hero worship or deity worship #or maybe something else entirely #monster worship #???#charybdis #charybdis worship

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foreos · 1 day

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hatchetfield characters rated on how much they like sonic the hedgehog

- paul matthews: 7/10 i think just based on his age and personality he played like sonic adventure one as a kid and enjoyed it but hasn’t really thought about it since. if he were to play a sonic game again he’d be like “oh i remember this guy! silly :)” he does not like the chaotix.

- emma perkins: 5/10 i can see a young emma being Violently Opposed to sonic and never playing it or engaging with any content. and then at some point ziggs or even paul has her play one of the games with them and she’s like “Oh Wait This Is Fun” but idk if she’d ever consider herself a fan.

- bill woodward: 1/10 he cannot remember sonic’s name. he is completely ambivalent because he doesn’t know what that is. he’d have an appreciation for tails if he knew he existed

- charlotte sweetly: 0/10 he creeps her out. i think there’s so much going on in her life that there is no room for sonic the hedgehog.

- ted spankoffski: 10/10 he also played the games as a kid and still enjoys him though he does not advertise that at all. in college he and jenny did smoke and play the entirety of sonic 06 together. he probably hasn’t really played them since at all since it contrasts with the new everything. he watched sonic underground.

- henry hidgens 0/10 he doesn’t trust sonic.

- melissa: 11/10 she loves sonic and you can interpret that however you want

- john mcnamara: 0/10 i cannot imagine this man with a game controller in his hands.

- tom houston: -10000/10 he is a technophobe and sonic frustrates him. he finds the characters annoying and tim keeps having to beat the levels for him and he doesn’t know why sonic is looking at him like that at the end of every level.

- becky barnes: 8/10 she just thinks he’s the silliest guy. i think becky would like sonic and the black knight and get a kick out of the gimmicky motion controls. i like to picture becky having stupid fun it brings me joy.

- lex foster: 0/10 no time for that also that’s kind of dumb also also where are his clothes.

- ethan green: current 1/10, potential 10/10, ethan has never touched a sonic game in his life but i think if he did he’d be hooked.

- hannah foster: 5/10 she has never touched a sonic game and isn’t really a video game person but she has nothing against the guy.

- frank pricely: 9/10 i think frank watched SatAM as a kid and the franchise is special to him even if he doesn’t really engage. probably drew pictures of sonic and tails as a kid.

- linda monroe: 1/10 it’s beneath her. linda probably doesn’t like video game and i think she’d find everyone really fucking annoying. river likes sonic though :)

- sherman young: 1000/10 but he’s not fun about it. if you like something he doesn’t then you’re fucking stupid. why does sonic have a sword. why is sonic in a car. i don’t know sherman. he refuses to play a lot of the games and is very much a purist about a lot of shit. he hates silver the hedgehog sooooo much.

- zoey chambers: 0/10 would shame sonic likers.

- miss holloway: 5/10 sonic is too nineties for her eighties but some of the kids she’s worked with liked it and she has nothing against the guy.

- duke keane: 8/10 i think like becky he would enjoy stupid fun.

- ziggs: 10/10 i think ziggs is a sonic fan. and i’m not saying that just because they’re a furry i think they’d genuinely like it. they are not good at most of the games though, they usually can’t make it past the typical sonic late game difficulty boost. ziggs hasn’t read the comics but they might have watched some of the cartoons, you know?

- rose: 6/10 i think she would have a lot of fun if she played the games but it’s never gonna be something she gets super into. sonic games do tend to have fantastic soundtracks so maybe she’d eat that shit up.

- daniel (stopwatch): 100/10 he really likes sonic. sonic is his kind of guy. i think daniel is a big shadow fan.

- sophia (spitfire): 5/10 she has nothing against the guy but she doesn’t know who blaze is or why daniel keeps bringing it up.

- pete spankoffski: 12/10 he inherited ted’s old games and LOVED them. he doesn’t really engage with the non game media but i think he’s played like most of the games.

- stephanie lauter: 2/10 what’s this nerd shit? weird :/. i think she’d like it if she tried it.

- richie lipschitz: 10000/10 he loves sonic. he loveeeeeees sonic. he has read the comics he has seen the shows he can name all the characters. richie knows the lore. richie used to have a crush on sally acorn. richie can go on the worlds longest rant about sonic forces okay it just never ends. he thinks shadow is The Coolest Guy and he embraces the franchise wholeheartedly.

- ruth fleming: 1000/10 she likes sonic a lot. she knows so much about all the games and she loves going so so so fast. i think she also read the comics and watched the cartoons and i think her and richie argue about it like all the time. she does have a thing for rouge the bat AND shadow and i think she has a little plushie chao keychain on her backpack.

- grace chasity: -10000000000000/10 she HATES sonic she hates him so much. he fills her with so much rage she fucking hates his ass. number one sonic hater.

BONUS:

- wiggly: 0/10 this game is hard to play with tentacles

- blinky: 5/10 he doesn’t really care but watching the hedgehog go zoom is fun

- tinky: 10/10 he loves this shit he wants sonic to go FASTER

- nibbly: 0/10 he doesn’t care he eated his controller

- pokey: -10/10 he thinks sonic is an attention whore and only he gets to do that

- webby: 100000/10 webby would like sonic do you see the vision do you see it. i think webby eats that shit up.

#hatchetfield #starkid #long post

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alwyswnadie · 1 year

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baba being baba !!

#i cannot keep up with all of these pictures #i am going crazy #he’s so cute and hot #literally how #matty healy #the 1975

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polycrews · 1 year

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ddcds. for u (hopefully ur day will b a bit better!)

had to take a second to respond to this because dear GOD this made me lose coherent thoughts. ahem

#asks #ddcd #i. i want to start up a good feral tag ramble but the only thing i can think of is to break down wailing /pos #my friend. beloved acquaintance of mine. you canNOT keep doing this one day you will fuckinf kill me of heart attack on the spot #i keep stepping away from this every couple minutes i haven’t felt this much emotions in eons. please have the courtesy to picture-#-my tone as that of soft awe. i am barely forming comprehensible sentences out here dear god #i’d also like to mention that i am in love with how you draw carapace. it all flows very smoothly and feels correct in an indescribable-#fuck the tumblr tag limit #-sort of manner.#your expressions are immaculate and manage to perfectly encapsulate these two #just. everything in general makes me even more fascinated with. well. [gestures abstractly]#please be ever so kind as to excuse me while i yell into a pillow for half an hour. i will be delivering you all of my money-#-as compensation for this on the morrow. thank you #fave

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time-slink · 2 years

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Are you still doing requests? If so I'd love a Doc

If not just gonna let you know I love your Doc design he is so soft looking

always taking them! infrequently doing them ;)

honestly been struggling recently drawing doc even though he’s one of my favorite characters to draw- makes me really happy to hear that people like my design of him :D

#my art #hermitcraft #docm77 #local man does ANYTHING to avoid using actual green all the way up until he cannot any longer #which is funny bc it’s like! my favorite color!#turns out i just like desaturated yellow i guess hfjfn #i keep having to manually adjust the color curve #believe me this was even yellower before #also. fun fact about me!#but i’m a little bit facial blind on the best of days #<- my excuse for never keeping things consistent #jokes. but like it just means i have to erase + redraw + erase + redraw until something looks accurate #like. i cannot picture it until it is on the page #which is funny bc this doesn’t happen with anything but faces haha #art asks

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lurking-latinist · 2 months

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⛵

#I also keep seeing modern au aubrey-maturin art #that makes me wish I could draw and thereby contribute #unfortunately I can't even *write* modern aus generally. but I like transferring character dynamics from place to place in my brain #and I feel like I could do a university AU very nicely if I could do AUs at all #because I have had rowers in my class with as far as I could tell jack's exact personality #(unfortunately it has to be a US university AU because (a) that's what I know and (b) afaik nobody else does randomly assigned roommates)#(and I cannot pass up the opportunity for randomly assigned roommates.#OR RATHER #for 'you seem more or less human - quick let's request each other so we don't have to go into potluck'#I think that works best)#(but maybe they are both international students anyway. that works fine. & therefore extremely alarmed by potluck [can't say they're wrong]#sophie is a sorority girl. english major I think. and I can see her so clearly #(she's the part I want to draw)#she's not that into the high-octane social schedule her sorority expects her to have #but her pushy mother was a member and it is Unthinkable that sophie should not be #and a lot of the other girls are sweet :) so it's fine :) she says #feel like she has roommate issues (unlike her original self she is able to live away from mrs williams so this makes up for that)#so she's always over in jack and stephen's room. people who know her tangentially sometimes gossip about which one she's actually dating #(at that particular moment it is actually neither of them she's just hanging out with stephen)#diana freed from the shackles of 19th century womanhood creates even more and weirder drama than in canon #idk I just want to see the plot of post captain played out over text message #don't ask me HOW idk HOW i just want it #stephen is a biology major/pre-med obvs. if he can survive organic chemistry #jack is some kind of engineering major. I think he'd enjoy that with the math. diana has changed her major 7 times #(I don't know whether to put jack in rotc. I don't think it Actually actually fits - he's in the navy in canon because he's in the navy #not bc he's Inevitably Military In All Worlds. he would not want to do that if he didn't get to sail #but at the same time I find it hard to picture him not belonging to Discipline somehow.#it's more than a disinterested passion for cleanliness that drives him to wash stephen's mug for him that has had coffee and ramen in it #(and NOT in that order)#in the bathroom sink

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march-harrigan · 1 year

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After a year of searching and hoping and thinking it most likely wasn't gonna happen, I FINALLY HAVE HIM AND I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER! He's so beautiful and high quality and has this nice weight to him that makes him pleasant to hold! And oh my GOD have I been waiting a good while just to hold him!

And he was just in time for tea! (No seriously, I was making tea when he arrived and no sooner did I have him out of the box than the kettle started to whistle. Jervis "The Mad Hatter" Tetch was, quite literally in time for tea)

Thank you again so much to @riddle-me-ri for sending the listing link that made this possible! And to my dad who helped me with the money(as I was a bit broke due to the season)! I couldn't ask for a better Christmas/birthday! ♥

#jervis tetch #mad hatter #dc mad hatter #btas #figure collecting #toy collecting #collectibles #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM #HE'S PERFECT #THAT DEVIOUS/SMUG EXPRESSION #I KEEP PICKING HIM UP TO EXAMINE EVERY LITTLE DETAIL #I CANNOT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY HAVE HIM IN MY HOME #AND CURRENTLY ON MY DESK NEXT TO MY OTHER HATTERS #WHAT A LOVELY TRIO THEY MAKE #might post pictures of them all together at some point #BUT ANYWAY THIS IS THE ONE I THOUGHT WAS A PIPE DREAM AND I AM JUST #IN A VERY EMOTIONAL STATE RIGHT NOW #IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY

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fauvester · 1 year

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omg iskra going back in time auau- but like- garak seeing two random cardassians on the station with no explanation why they r there, and they seem to know him like- what. Would they try to avoid him so he dont sus them out? what about names? They obviously cant say their surnames. And Ziyal 🥺 (sorry this is just such a edible idea anyway)

AWOOOOGH GARAK WOULD BE SO INTRIGUED! you KNOW he'd be hiding behind promenade pylons trying to get a drop on any information about the two cardassians that the captain has let stay on the station during the war against cardassia! You KNOWWW he'd be desperately trying to make eye contact with them at quark's! AND YOU KNOW ISKRA WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO RESIST THE TEMPTATION!

Unfortunately Idan is a first year starfleet student and like any student is deeply passionate about the letter and not the spirit of the law, and thinks that they should barricade themselves in their quarters so as to prevent temporal contradiction (as recommended in the textbook). Iskra, who graduated a cardassian jurisprudence apprenticeship and has a degree in comparative galactic law, recognizes that every set of regulations has loopholes just waiting to be tugged open and wiggled through. And that involves meeting all her aunts and uncles in their glory days, causing trouble, making cryptic remarks and flirting up a storm.

They probably do ask sisko to get bashir and garak off the station to minimize interference (Iskra also requests several other random crewmembers be kicked out. Just so that there's no implication about future events.) But not before she gets to meet her yadek! (and maybe get hit on by s3 era julian, eugh)

Iskra goes by her birth family name when she's not on Cardassia to minimize assassination attempts, so they're both Ghilanas (until SOMEONE hacks into the computer on their rented shuttle and finds their ID info...)

And also Ziyal... wary of two shiny young cardassians but still trying to put on a brave face...swept up by their openness and enthusiasm but deeply wary of the secret they seem to be hiding...

#dee s 9 #garashir adoption au #AUUGUHGHGHGH IVE BEEN TURNING THIS AUAU OVER IN MY HEAD LIKE A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE PEBBLE AND NOW ITS ALL SMOOTH!#i know jumja sticks arent cold but in my heart theyre popsicles. cause a big lukewarm chunk of sugar aint it #not pictured: iskra dressing in her two (2) Nice Outfits #she was picking Idan up from his first year internship in the gamma quadrant to take him home for garak and bashirs 25 year anniversary #and they ran into.......time.... issues..... in the wormhole #idan keeps Snapping To Attention around senior officers #and humming vintage earth tunes #so sisko clocks something going on immediately. if the tail wasnt a giveaway.#like I am not sure that the beastie boys are a cardassian cultural import. this boy is not from Our Cardassia. And he keeps saluting me.#idan is just sooo so so so. so happy to meet Captain Sisko. but he also so so so wants to not fuck up spacetime #while his sister is lying on captain kiras desk in a cocktail gown with a rose betwixt her teeth #garak: *says something cryptic and suggestive* iskra: *says something cryptic and suggestive back* idan: *sips rootbeer loudly*#anyways thank u as always for the oc asks i cannot get over them #i LOVEEEE the excuse to do more...#nog jake alexander idan crew. just boys being boys. just guys causing mischief

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