Apparently this needs to be said so
Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!
You're not a bad person if you...
forget things quickly
forget people
can't remember entire stages of your life
can't remember important things
can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time
can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests
forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc
forget to reply to texts
remember things and immediately forget them again
can't remember birthdays, events, etc
frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions
can't retain new information
forget things you used to know
only remember things when it's too late
have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories
depend on others to know how an event you were in played out
have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa
... and anything else I might have missed!
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About the altered animations in Astarion's first romance scene
I already knew that there's something of a precedent for large updates to change camera angles and facial animations around a little bit, so, on a lark, I loaded in my save from before the first romance scene in my current, Astarionmance playthrough, just to see and compare it to my recorded version, see if there's been any changes since then.
Well... honestly? My feeling is that the two scenes are pretty much only roughly comparable to each other at this point. Like not to be dramatic, but it's kind of almost a case study in how much body language can alter the perception and interpretation of the same dialogue.
In the version of this that I got originally in my game (on october 21st so in patch 3, through high approval, quite a bit before the party), the short conversation before leaving the main campsite has him wearing sort of a... heavy, darkly suggestive, almost predatory expression. He looks, overall, very serious: head pitched strategically forward so he's both leaning towards- and looking at the PC through his lashes (maybe crowding them a little bit, stepping into their space), his eyes are more narrow and provocative, and he's not wearing even a hint of a smile. I think it makes it very clear what the intent here is: to present Desire™, and show a façade that suggests his impending performance of the "ooh, the sexy vampire is now going to steal you away to have his wicked way with you" fantasy.
Comparing this to the latest version (as of the 4th of december, so shortly after patch 5, which from the patch notes I'm guessing is likely what brought these alterations on), it's... very strangely different.
I had not altered my settings, or the shots in any way (beyond cropping and resizing), the lighting just... seems to have been brightened. But, the most obvious change is that his entire body language is sort of... tipped more back and away from the PC now. His brows and eyes are a lot softer and more open, rounded, more like they appear later on in the confession scene, and he's smiling this.... kind of cordial, unsettlingly friendly smile, that seems (at least in retrospect) very obviously fake and plastered on. I think he's selling the illusion of the rakish debaucher, the dashing scoundrel about to rock your world, a lot less convincingly this time around.
Even though the voicelines have not been altered in a way I can detect, his face is saying something completely different, and it recontextualizes a lot of things for me.
[Also in addition, him breaking character momentarily ("I do mean sex, to be clear") now does also lose a bit of its humor for me. Just because this new way, there isn't as large a gap between the capital letter Performance, and the little side note he gives himself in the middle of it. Now it's somehow... less theatrical overall, and so the aside is less like he knows he sounds unnatural and his real self is peeking out from behind the lines, and veers a twinge more towards "in case you're dense and didn't actually notice that I'm seducing you, I'll dumb it down for you".]
Even as he's waiting for the response in that silly "ta-dah!" pose, his face is very different: instead of that sort of blank, "haughtily and hauntingly sexy", determined kind of look, he's now gazing at the PC with what (in motion at least) looks to me like it's kinda... going rapidly back and forth between almost a pained/unsure look, and... a thinly veiled disgust, maybe?
Like, that's... that's straight-up a grimace, man, I don't want anyone I'm considering sleeping with to be looking at me like that.
Within the scene itself that follows, the animation appears unchanged (or at least not changed significantly enough for me to notice without playing them literally side by side), but the following conversation in the morning is... also a bit odd, and has been edited heavily?
In my original recording, he seems to be making sure to look at the PC more, though only over his shoulder, and his features are harder, more severe again, as it is in line with the conversation before. The whole little exchange, before the arcana check and before it'd segue into talking about Cazador more directily, ends on a bit of an eyeroll and a hidden smile that can be construed as conspiratory, or just a bit sly and self-satisfied.
This kinda straddles the line between "hehe, you're caught in my web now" and "hehe, I'm SO good at sex"- the former being closer to what he's likely thinking, and the latter being one of the more obvious ways the PC can interpret that look. A+ on that, no notes.
But now, (first of all the lighting is overall much less warm, the whole scene looks cool and less afterglow-y) he doesn't really turn to face the PC, not even over his shoulder. This keeps his expressions concealed from them, but open to the player, which is an interesting choice, and his expressions are, again, a lot more in line with those from later scenes, when the relationship is well underway: it's less openly performative, and more just a... a sad, unguarded, almost forlorn, private look. My guy looks like he is speedrunning through all his emotions over the span of like 10 seconds here-
-and lands notably on this kind of unsettling shot, of this expression that's, while somewhat similar to the old one for the line "I didn't want to go too far" (that the PC can halfway see), is both more exaggerated, and kept entirely to himself:
I for one find this one a little.... creepy and cartoonish, tbh???? Which, I guess while it's in line with the whole "I'm such an evil mastermind, they've fallen right into my honeypot" way of thinking he is supposed to have in this precise moment, it, uh.
Listen, it just conjures in my mind a violently clear image of Robbie Rotten from Lazytown. Because it's just such an "I'm clearly being a villainous villain with a nefarious scheme and agendas aplenty" expression, he's all but twirling his mustache, and the fact that it's turned right to the player's face rather than being only hinted at for both person and character, makes it look... pretty heavy-handed. Which I guess is more indicative of this man having a charisma score of a whopping 10, but it takes away from the subtlety of the entire exchange, and kind of creates a rift between what the player, and what the PC can know/suspect.
Overall, these new animations look... very different, bit more like they're trying to drive the point all the way home? Now there seems to be a big neon sign that says "HE IS NOT DOING THIS FOR PLEASURE" over his head, rather than letting your figure things out for yourself later on.
Needless to say, I.... personally prefer the old version of this scene over this new one, lol.
(...... One final, mildly notable change I noticed is that they seem to have taken out the little moan they had my character make as he bit into her neck? In my old recording, there was a tiny, barely audible little "a-aah!", and that's just.... not there now. I'm not sure what that's about, if it's a bug or a feature, and I don't know if they had it for other player voices or not, but prior to now, they did go pretty hard into how getting bitten is, to many, quite pleasurable, so downplaying that now comes off as a tiny bit odd to me.)
(I do like how her tits look less squashed though. They perked my girl's girls up a little bit, which is kinda nice lol.)
Editing to say this: it seems like these animations are the same as the goblin party ones, only... in the daylight? Which, it could be a bug of some sorts. I reloaded it once and it was the same once more, but... it could be that my save is kinda weird there for some reason. Idk. Turning reblogs off because it could just be a bug.
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The tapestries covering the halls, telling tales of times long lost, went unnoticed by him. It didn't matter. He knew all of them. Made some of them. Regretted most of them.
Nor did his glazed-over eyes see anything else they came by-if there was any. At least not until he felt a soft, unsure, familiar presence approaching and raised his head.
There he was. His father. In all his glory. Long raven hair cascaded around him, arrayed in elaborate robes, all grace & royalty. just as handsome as he remembered him. Though not at all as he remembered him. Something was gone. The fire, maybe.
He halted on his way as soon as they locked eyes. In place of the proud face his son remembered he wore an unfamiliar expression... was it sorrow? Misery? Regret maybe? Shame even?
Why, aren't you proud father? I did what you wanted. The task is done.
& so am I.
He wished he had the jewel with him now just for the sake of throwing it at Fëanor's feet. Maedhros should not want to see him. He should say something. He should be raging with anger. He should scream at his father & blame him for everything. Fëanor was the reason he was here. He was the reason he wanted to be here. Maybe Maedhros jumped from the cliff, but he had fallen long before that. & his father was the one who pushed him. He should have known the burden he laid on his sons was as heavy as the fallen Vala, of all his long cruel mountains, of all the Middle Earth & the weight of all the dead.
They had spilled blood. He took them to that path. Fathers don't do like that.
Yet there he was. His father. & Maedhros' heart ached & soared as soon as he laid eyes on him. He needed his dad like never before. His mother would have been better. He had wished to see her again for a long, long time but now it was an unbearable, overwhelming, desperate need. But did she even want to see him?
He had led her sons to their death. But not before sullying their hands by bringing it upon others. Káno...poor Káno did not want to do this last foolishness. He wanted to repent. He wanted to go back home... he would have been home, with their mother. She would have got at least one of her sons back. Tainted & broken. But back. if not for him. What right did he have asking for comfort from her? She who had raised seven sons as best as she could & got seven murderers in the end. ("Stay like that." He remembered her saying as she disappeared behind the sculpture she was painting "Do not move. It will be over soon. I shall make haste lest the even fall draws near & the light changes. I want you in this light.")
But his father... They were both guilty. Both murderers & kinslayers. Worthy of each other.
In his last hour in life, Eönwë had called him "Son of Fëanor", and at the beginning of his afterlife in the halls, Mandos had also called him "Son of Fëanor" and it was very late to find out that in the end, he hadn't really been anything more.
Fëanor stepped towards him. His sorrowful eyes left his son's face and slid to his hands. And he gently held them in his own.
He had two hands now, Maedhros thought. Both unburnt. (Though not unsullied. Never again unsullied.) That was good. No, that was beyond Marvellous. That was all he had dreamt of for thousands of years. That was all he wanted. The best thing that could have happened to him. That called for tears of joy. He supposed.
Maybe some day later.
He did not close his hands around his father's. Nonetheless, they were gently stroking his. Fëanor's eyes were glistening with unshed tears when he raised his head. He bit his lips to keep the pain trying to surface at bay.
He remembered tears in his father's eyes only one time before. When he saw King Finwë's broken body. And that sight, Fëanor crying, had driven Maedhros to such a rush of emotions that he knew he would do anything for him. He would do anything to destroy the one who had brought tears to his father's eyes...no! That was in the past! It was all behind him! He was dead now. It was no place to go back to these things again and again. He had already done it numerous times in life. He was dead now. It was all over. It should have been. and Fëanor shouldn't cry.
Fëanor made to pull his son into an embrace. Maedhros took a step back.
"You-...!"
He did not know what to say. And he did not have the energy to start saying it. Even pulling away from Fëanor had taken too much will.
Fëanor said it for him.
"Yes.Yes, me. ...It's all on me."
He tried to embrace his son a second time and this time, Maedhros gave in. He did not return this either. But neither could he pull away. On the contrary. He leaned into it. He needed it. Valar, he needed it. For so, so long. & now more than ever.
"Atya. I'm tired."
"I know son, I know," He said as he rubbed his back.
So, so tired.
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