#i can't stand you goofy ass bitch

[sunshinediaz]

fuck it friday 🫧

i don't have anything to put the fuck in fuck it friday (which, nuts, but i'm so stoked because i'm writing stuff that's not porn for once) but i do have eddie and chim being silly goofy brothers so!!! enjoy!!!

Chim makes a noise and grabs a ten pound bag of gummy bears instead. “What makes you think it’s a good idea?”  Eddie shrugs, wondering if keeping the gummy bears and having a handful at the station when he wakes up from a nap is worth receiving Bobby’s patented disappointed look. “Maybe it’s not a good idea, but I have to do something,” he replies, deciding that, yes, the gummy bear are so worth it. “She’s mean to me, Chim.”  “You sound like Jee.”  Eddie flaps his hand at Chim and turns the corner into another aisle. “You’re so funny, man.” He picks through the several different kinds of flour, searching for the kind Bobby’s particular about. “She singles me out and makes me look bad in front of my neighbors. I haven’t even met any of them.” “Maybe they’re scared of you. Have you thought of that? You keep odd hours, your truck is big, and you listen to country music. ”   “I listen to good country music, you jackass.”  And he does. He’ll be damned if anybody associates him with Jason Aldean—fuck that dude, fuck his little buddies, and fuck all they stand for. Every single one of them. In the words of Kris Kristofferson, a legend—people like Toby Keith and his alt-right patriotism have done to country music what pantyhose did to fingerfucking.  (Oh, God. Is that Eddie’s Roman Empire? Chris is going to have a heyday.)  “Semantics.”  “I’ll show—” he starts, stops, takes a deep breath to calm down. “The next time you walk in front of this cart, I’m fucking up your heels.” He crosses his chest.  “See? That’s what I’m talking about. You’re weird.”  Eddie swerves the cart toward Chim, loud and rickety. “Swear on my life, Chim.” Chim dances out of the way. “You should probably swear on something else, pal,” he says, laughing loudly when Eddie veers the cart his way again. They make a commotion, gathering the attention of a few others down the aisle, and sheepishly apologize. “Have you talked with Buck about it?”  “No,” Eddie replies, sighing. He grabs a few canisters of unsweetened cocoa, adding it on top of Chim’s addition of sugar free pudding. “It kinda slipped my mind.” 

i was tagged by @callaplums, @honestlydarkprincess, @hippolotamus, @jesuisici33, @try-set-me-on-fire, @exhuastedpigeon, @wikiangela, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @callmenewbie, @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove, @giddyupbuck, @thewolvesof1998, and @daffi-990 mwah 🫶🏼

it's late so i'm only tagging @eddiediaztho because i sent britt a lil bit of this scene last night and she was excited for it, which wow, and i need her to see it so she can gush praise at me BUT PLEASE everybody consider yourself tagged by me i'm so fuckin serious mwah

#it slipped your mind eddie #it slipped YOUR MIND #you know what else slipped your mind #telling buck he's your fake boyfriend #when are you going to do that? huh? #i can't stand you goofy ass bitch #but chim? chim's the saving grace i love him mwha #tag games

[anabdaniels]

So fitting for happily ever after

Paring: Agent Whiskey x Female reader

Summary: You got jealous because of a past situation with his secretary, so Jack makes sure to calm you down aka Jack eats reader on his office desk.

Word counting: 1.9k

Rating: +18

Warnings: Oral (f receiving), fingering, semi-public sex, reader curses in another language (translations provided at the end).

A/N: First things first I made reader cursing in Portuguese because my Brazilian ass can't find English curse words to sound offensive enough hahaha. Whatever, the idea of writing this came while I was listening to some wild Reddit stories so...

Divider from: @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

You could barely feel the ground under your feet as you walked inside the ranch, boiling in pure anger, the 30 minutes in the car on your way home for sure didn’t help the thousands of thoughts going through your brain.

“Jack Daniels.” You called more loudly than you would normally as you entered the bedroom. Jack promptly looked at you in complete confusion as he finished putting his t-shirt on.

“Something wrong, honey?” he asked calmly, despite the crease between his eyebrows.

“Can you please explain to me what kind of fucking business have you been doing at your damn job?” you asked mad, but keeping your tone under control the best you could.

“What’s the problem, sugar? What has made you so upset?” he questioned with one hand resting on the dresser and the other on his hip.

“The problem is that aquela vaca do caralho…” you stopped and took a deep breath, not wanting to lose your composure “Your dear little secretary talked to me at the fucking pharmacy and made sure to let me know that you have been fucking her.” You could feel your stomach twisting only with the idea of it.

“I expected you to know she lied to you.” Jack said calmly, even knowing that the situation was delicate.

“Then can you explain to me how the fuck she knows you have a single freckle on your left inner thigh?” you questioned concerningly calm.

“Honey, the situation ain’t like you’re probably imagining.” Jack answered in a soft tone.

“C’mon, you’ll tell me that she stumped and accidentally fell sat on your dick? Não fode, Daniels.” you rolled your eyes, both hands lying on your hips; Jack had to breathe calmly to not laugh at your bold statement, aware that laughing would only complicate his situation.

“My love, I can assure you that all that happened was a simple one-night stand a couple of years before we met and nothing more.” Jack kept his calm, even though he was already planning the reprimanding and possible dismissal he would give to his secretary the next time he saw her.

“Haven’t I asked you a thousand times if you had something with her because she always acted very pick me around you? And you denied it every time.” You inquired raising your eyebrows and tilting your head slightly, still not amused by his answer.

“I didn’t think would be relevant to tell you this since it happened once and didn’t have any relevance.” Jack said sincerely, almost starting to worry about all that.

“Where?” you asked after a few moments of silence.

“Where?” Jack repeated confused.

“Where did you fucked her?” you questioned once more, making the question the clearer possible.

“At her apartment…” he answered seeming completely clueless of which was your goal with that.

“At least some good news, I haven’t slept on the same bed as that bitch.” You squinted at the very moment Jack chuckled and approached you.

“Now can you calm down a little bit, for god's sake?” he spoke while resting his hands on your upper arms, softly rubbing your skin.

“Oh if I wasn't calm, your nose would have been broken a long time ago.” You rolled your eyes as he kept a goofy smile, holding you by the waist.

“Didn’t know you were that jealous ‘bout me.” Jack made sure to tease you with that smug tone.

“You’re lucky that I’m calmer than most girls back home. Some of them would’ve already put sugar on your car’s tank or sold your limited-edition Stetsons for 20 dollars on eBay.”

“Good thing I don't intend to make any serious mistake.” He joked and laughed when you seemed not happy with it. “Ease your heart, Mrs. Daniels. I have no intention to even look at any woman that ain’t my gorgeous wife.” Jack assured calmly and leaned to kiss the tip of your nose.

“You better. I imagine that even being sterilized, you still like to have both of your testicles.” You stated slightly raising your eyebrows.

“I do.” He confirmed seriously, making both of you laugh.

Despite being the one who cooked almost 100% of the meals, Jack wasn’t the biggest fan of doing the groceries and organizing them in the pantry, and since you would do anything but cook, you assumed those tasks. Once at the supermarket parking lot with your phone and shop list on hand, you realized you had forgotten your wallet at home. Already mumbling all the curse words you knew while starting your car, you remembered that Jack was at Statesman, which, despite being out of the city too, was way closer than the ranch.

Once you arrived at the distillery and got to the floor of Jack’s office, you were happily surprised when you didn’t see his dubious character secretary at the front desk, but the sympathetic lady you used to talk a lot every time you had to wait for Jack to get out of some meeting.

You walked calmly to Jack’s office, knocking on the door and getting in as you heard his voice telling you to do it, stopping in front of his desk and waiting for him to look at you.

“Honeybee.” Jack smiled openly as he saw you and leaned back on his chair, taping one of his thighs. Without hesitation you moved to sit sideways on his lap, letting your arms rest on his shoulders. “What brings my dear wife here today?”

“My shitty memory to be honest.” You admitted, tilting your head slightly “I was on my way to do the groceries and realized I forgot my wallet at the ranch.”

“Oh, I see.” He answered with a soft chuckle, grabbing his wallet and giving you his bank card.

“Just for the record, I was planning to pass on some other places after it, so…” you were ready to start a little justification speech, still not having completely lost the habit of thinking that you should have a complex reason to buy something, but Jack didn’t give you the chance to even start with it.

“It’s okay, sugar, don’t worry your pretty head with this. If my dear wife can’t have a little fun with my card, then what am I working for?” Jack winked at you with a sideway smile and leaned to press a soft kiss on your lips.

“Fine, I’ll remember this.” You chuckled while playing with a lock of his hair “Speaking about work, I haven't seen your dear secretary around.” You mentioned it with a bit of sarcasm.

“She got transferred to the city branch.” Jack explained calmly, resting both hands on your waist.

“I imagine she’s missing her beloved boss.” You said with a slightly annoyed grimace.

“Honey…” he laughed quietly and kissed the curve of your neck.

“I’m just stating the reality.” You shrugged “I wonder if you really haven’t taken a bite of her among shifts.” At that point, you were just wanting to mess with him a bit.

“Well, I’ll summarize my answer simply saying that all of my office furniture has been christened with you.” Safe to say it got you out off guard; you didn’t doubt the fact that death would be a more considerable option for Jack if the other option was cheating on you, but you were aware that he had a life before you and that new information was something you were not expecting.

“Now, that’s the kind of news I like to receive on a turbulent day.” You admitted with a wide smile.

“Good, now ease your jealous, y’know I’d kiss the ground you walk if you asked me to.” He finished the phrase with a soft nibble on your shoulder, making you squirm a bit on his lap.

“Personally, I’d prefer you to use your mouth for other stuff.”

“Now tell me something I don’t know.” Jack teased and faster than the blink of an eye, you were sat on his desk, his hands all over you and his mustache tickling the sensitive skin that was exposed on your cleavage. You tried to keep your breath slow, aware that making any loud sound wouldn’t be a good idea. Both of your hands dived on Jack’s hair, your fingers tangling on the brown strands as you got more softened by his touch.

With no ceremony, Jack sneaked his hands under your skirt, taking off your panties and moving his fingers to your pulsing core as his other hand quickly rested over your mouth to suppress your pleased noise, which wasn’t very helpful to your self-control, since the feeling of his huge calloused hand covering your mouth and a good part of your face just helped your dirty thoughts to go further.

Enjoying the view of your body softening, Jack kept his fingers working between your legs, smirking at every single spasm of your hips. Conscious about how close you were to losing control of your noises, you bit the palm of Jack’s hand, sinking your teeth more into his skin as two of his fingers slid inside you and his thumb rubbed your swollen clit.

Yes, you knew that all those papers with the Statesman logo spread over his desk probably were important, but you weren’t giving a shit about that fact at that moment, letting one of your hands crumple the nearest pile of pages. Caring less than you, Jack decided to move further, kneeling on the floor so his head was placed between your thighs. You didn’t have the time to catch your breath before his tongue was buried in your wet core and you managed your body reactions the best you could, pulling his hair, smashing the papers on the desk, and keeping your bite on the palm of his hand.

Your eyes rolled back as your eyelids fell close, your mind doing you no favor as you thought about the fact that, even being the charming boss who could have spent a good time with half of the Statesman staff during his office hours, you were the first person to have that kind of moment with him at his office, and the meeting room, and the warehouse of barrels…

Seeming to know that you were deeply stuck on the moment, Jack didn’t spare his efforts, keeping his fingers and mouth working rhythmically on your throbbing cunt, getting more pleased as he felt your thighs squeezing his head more and more at the same pace your fingers twisted a huge portion of his hair, causing a slight pain Jack enjoyed deeply.

You got the last straw when his fingers curled inside you, providing you with the single push you needed to get over the edge, involuntarily moving your hips and letting out an audible moan, feeling your whole body starting to melt as Jack slowed his motion until completely stop, needing a few seconds to process what was going on when he sat back on his chair and pulled you to his lap, letting you nestle between his arms and kissing the top of your head.

“Can I ask a question?” your voice came out quiet after a moment.

“Of course, love.” Jack answered promptly while moving one hand to caress your back.

“I’m getting this treatment every time I show up to ask you for money?” you looked up at him with a lazy smile.

“Only if you’re all jealous for no reason.” He answered with a cocky grin, leaning forward to give you a soft peck on the lips.

Translations: Aquela vaca do caralho- that fucking bitch Não fode- don't fuck/mess with me

Tagging: @missladym1981

#agent whiskey #agent whiskey fic #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #jack daniels #jack whiskey daniels #Kingsman: the golden circle #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedrostories

[satansindexfinger]

Can you do the Brothers and Undateables reacting to an MC who called God sky daddy?

Author's note: ahsjdjdkf this is hilarious, thank you for requesting! It feels so weird putting the fancy banners and everything for something this silly lmao

Warnings: none

Crack; gn!mc

Everyone's Reaction To You Calling God 'Sky Daddy'

Lucifer

"... Pardon?"

He knows for a fact you did not just call his father sky daddy of all things. It takes him a moment to process it.

He visably cringes and rubs his temples, annoyance evident, "Please, for the love of everything, do not refer to him that way ever again."

What would even posess you to do that? You humans really are an enigma Lucifer can't decipher.

He couldn't look more disgusted if he tried.

Mammon

"Huh? W-who are ya callin' that?!"

Relax, Mammon. God isn't their side-hoe. It's not the type of daddy you're picturing. It's a joke.

"Damn, why didn't ya just call him by his name... yer really weird, yknow that?"

Now he's jealous. Why does God get a goofy nickname and he doesn't?!

Leviathan

"LMAOOOOO"

Thinks it's hilarious. So what if it's his dad? That was a good one, MC!

Boy is well-versed in obscure internet slang so nothing can surprise him on that front. Won't dare to use it himself but... okay, maybe when it's just you two.

He really wants to fit in okay? Probably has his own fair share of memes relating to The Lord (tm) and will send you every last one.

Satan

"Thank who?"

Did he hear you right? Is this some weird type of human word play? Even his big brain needs a second to connect the dots.

"Huh, I've never heard that alias of his before. Well, he is on the upper realm, and he is technically the father of all things... I suppouse it makes sense."

Doesn't pay any mind to it after analyzing the connection. He thinks it's a weird way of saying it but you do you, MC.

I lied. He so keeps that in the back of his mind to use when Lucifer is around just to piss him off.

Asmodeous

"Oh, MC! I didn't know you had quite the mouth on you! How blasphemous!"

Gasps like the drama queen he is.

Good job, you've turned his cringy flirt mode on. Now he won't leave you alone.

You might want to reconsider your word usage around this bitch next time.

Beelzebub

Whomst? What?? Sky who?

Doesn't get it, doesn't ask about it. He thinks he didn't hear you clearly over the sound of his munching.

Will look at you like a confused dog and cock his head, hoping you'd explain. If you do he will just nod. Like it's the most normal thing he's heard all day.

"Ah, you mean Father." Whatever. Back to your guys' scheduled sixth meal of the day.

Belphegor

"Sky daddy? Really? Could you be any weirder about him?"

If you pay close attention you can hear his subtle snicker. Come off it Belphie, you think it's hilarious.

Would absolutely call his maker sky daddy if they ever met again. Shame he's probably permanently banned from the celestial realm.

Look me in the eyes and tell me he hasn't attempted to call God weird ass names to his face before.

Joins Satan in his quest to piss Lucifer off by calling their father that.

Diavolo

Congrats, you've stumped the demon lord himself! .. For a split second. Then he lets out a laugh like he's just watched the funniest stand up on Netflix.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you, MC? What an odd nickname!"

Thinks it's charming for some reason. You little humans and your interesting choice of words! How cute!

"Does that make me ground daddy?"

Diavolo please.

Barbatos

Ignores you. No reaction from this killjoy right here.

Okay, maybe he finds it just a tad amusing. Won't show it though. He might mention it in passing while he's having tea with Diavolo and chuckle a bit about the blatant disrespect you have the balls to show, but that's about it.

Or so you think. Motherfucker will drop it in conversation when you least expect it.

"It's a good thing we heard the timer on the oven this time. I suppouse we can thank Sky Daddy for this?"

It sounds illegal coming out of his mouth.

Solomon

"Daddy Jay-Z really has blessed us today."

Will play along with it. Man gives zero shits. Remember, this is the same dude who wanted to call Michael Mike.

He already knows he's going to hell shall he become mortal again so why not drag his favourite MC down with him?

"May the cloud son-in-law and holy poltergeist help us one day too."

You two are a walking menace.

Simeon

(Let me upload the banner you piece of shit site)

Look absolutely scandalized. You might as well have murdered Luke right infront of his eyes.

"M-MC!! That is highly disrespectful! Please watch your language, especially if Luke is around."

Knows you were probably trying to be funny but mans is whipped for holiness. Relax, he knows you probably didn't know any better so he isn't mad.

Just a bit dissappointed.

Won't lecture you further but will sigh and look disapprovingly if you ever did it again.

#obey me #obey me crack #obey me imagines #obey me scenario #obey me memes #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon

[illegal-spiegel]

Omg can you please do a A-Z nsfw of Jet Black from Cowboy bebop?

ABSOLUETLY BESTIE sorry this took me so long-

genre: smut

warnings: none?

A is for...

Aftercare - no matter how hard or gentle he goes, this man will always, ALWAYS give godly aftercare. He knows just what you need, even if you didn't know yourself that you needed it. Cuddling, massage, kisses, hot bath/shower, you name it, it's yours.

B is for...

Body Part - his fav body part of yours...hm...probs your ass. I dunno man, he gives me ass man vibes. If not that, maybe your brain? He likes intelligent people, I think. (Don't get me wrong, he could also love himself a himbo/bimbo too).

C is for...

Cum - I think he probably cums a little more than most. Something in my bones is telling me that he's got big ol balls ready for breedin'. That being said, despite the fact that he and Spike don't exactly get to eat the best, I think his cum tastes pretty much like nothing. He probs drinks more water than is recommended, so he's got a pretty healthy taste, color, and consistency.

D is for...

Dick - I just know this man is packing PLEASE GOD PL EA and he's gotta at least be working with seven inches. I envision his dick to be pretty pale like he is, but the tip is probably more of a reddish, purple kinda color. Very veiny and probs also has a bit of girth to him.

E is for...

Experience - at the ripe ol age of thirty-six, my boy has gotten around, lemme tell ya. Yes, he had some long last relationships (like with Alisa), but he still got around. He probably hasn't done some of the more crazier, kinkier stuff, but he's definitely done all of the basics, and then some.

F is for...

Fav position - despite being an ass man, I think he'd like missionary the best. Yes, doggy and all these other positions are great, but I think that at the heart of it all, he's a hopeless romantic who wants to hold your hand, look deeply into your eyes, and whisper sweet nothings to you as he thrusts slowly and deeply inside of you.

G is for...

Goofy - I think he's usually pretty serious when in the sheets with a lover. That's not to say he doesn't have his moments of messing up and being able to laugh at himself, or if you start laughing he'll keep a straight face. He wants you relaxed and to enjoy yourself, so if making small talk/jokes and laughter is the way to do it, so be it :)

H is for...

Hair - similar to his face, I think Jet lets his hair grow out but keeps it maintained. So, it's not a crazy bush down there, but it's also not a clean shave.

I is for...

Intimacy - going back to F, I think Jet prefers to have a connection with someone before taking them to the bedroom. He can have one night stands if he wants, but as a hopeless romantic, I think he'd rather have feelings for the person rather than just attraction.

J is for...

Jerking off - I think his libido is pretty low (at least compared to someone like Spike), so he probably doesn't feel the need to be jacking off all the time. If he doesn't have a partner at the time, he'll probably being doing it a little more than if he had one (especially since I don't think he's too big on random hookups). If he's with someone, I don't think he'd ever jerk off unless you weren't available (as in you're gone, sick, not in the mood, etc). 9/10 though he'll just hold off and wait for whenever you're ready for him (maybe that's why he always cums so much smh).

K is for...

Kink(s) - as I said in E, I can't imagine he's super duper kinky, but I do think that this cool cat has some tricks up his sleeves. As a former cop, definitely has a thing for being restrained (bonus points if it's with handcuffs). He probably also loves being praised and giving praised.

L is for...

Location - Jet's a basic bitch and loves making love in bed. He'll definitely do it in other places (the bathroom is a close second), but he prefers being in a cozy bed with his cutie patootie.

M is for...

Motivation - As cheesy as it sounds, love is what motivates him (and not just in the bedroom). He wants to please you, make you feel good, do whatever it takes to watch your body shake as you cum and scream his name. Whatever he's gotta do to achieve that is just what he's gotta do, no question.

N is for...

NO's - I like to think that Jet is very openminded and willing to try just about anything once (other than the very obvious no's that people usually have). If he can help it though, he'd prefer not to degrade his lover. He's much rather praise you, darling <3

O is for...

Oral - I'm sure I've said it once, and I'll say it again, man's is a god at giving head. There, I said it! With having so much experience, it only makes sense that he'd be good at it. He's gotten all the tricks, tips, comments, and feedback that someone could ever need. He's definitely the type to receive pleasure by giving you pleasure, so he'd much rather go down on you than vice versa.

P is for...

Pace - going back to F yet again, I think he's more of the type to go slow and steady. He'll give you strong thrusts that you'll feel in places deep inside of you that you didn't even know existed. More towards the end when he's getting close, he'll probably start to lose his cool and will start thrusting faster and faster.

Q is for...

Quickie - doesn't really like quickies, but sometimes you just gotta do whatcha gotta do, yanno? Again, he prefers to take his sweet, sweet time, but when living in space as a bounty hunter with three other people and a dog, time isn't always on your side. So, he'll do it if you really need to get off right then and there, but he's usually patient enough to wait until there's more time.

R is for...

Risk - this one is 50/50. Taking risks when it comes to experimenting? Absolutely. As I said, he'll try just about anything once. As for taking risks like doing things out in public, probably not. Again, if you really wanted to, he'd try under the right circumstances for you. As for what he wants, he'd rather be in the safety of his home with no worries or concerns.

S is for...

Stamina - he may not be in his prime anymore, but that doesn't mean the old goat can't get around. He can last for hours, and it's probably due to his police training, years of police work, and, of course, being a bounty hunter. Ever since he was young, he's needed to be ready to go go go, so yeah, he can go go go all night ;)

T is for...

Turn ons - As stated in K, he likes restraints and praise, but for more day to day stuff, I think he's a sucker for skirts, heels, the color red, and nurses. They're all so basic, but I think he's a simple man with simple needs.

U is for...

Unfair - I think Jet is usually pretty fair. He gives his pretty baby their orgasm when they want it, but I think you should be careful what you wish for. He's the type to hear you beg for it, so he'll make sure you get more than enough <3

V is for...

Volume - I think he's fairly quiet in the bedroom when it comes to moaning. Talking he can do the whole time, will be praising you left and right, but I think his noises are more reserved. When he really gets into things, he'll groan and grunt directly into your ear. If you really get him worked up, he let out a sound that's almost like a low growl as he cums. (If you're lucky, he might even let out a needy whine when he cums if it's been a hot minute).

W is for...

Wildcard - random headcanon, but I think if you ever want to make him go harder than usual, degrade you, do something risky in public, literally anything that's out of his usual, Alhaitham you gotta do is flirt with Spike. NOTHING makes his blood boil more than watching you entertain that idiot right in front of him. (Don't do it in a toxic way, of course. Like, don't do it super often or make him feel insecure/worried, and be sure to tell him you're just doing it to rile him up. But yeah...just trust...)

X is for...

X marks the spot - if you wanna make this man jizz in his pants on sight, pay special attention to his scars and whisper/moan how much you love them/him. Like, cradle his face and tell him how handsome he is. Trace the scar on his back and tell him how proud you are of him. Touch the scar he got from saving you and tell him how much you owe him, and how you'll do anything to repay him. Yeah...haha...yeah...that'll do the trick...

Y is for...

Yearning - despite his libido not being that high, this man craves you in every sense of the word. Every waking second, he wants to be with you. He just wants to hold you and kiss you and love you and tell you about his day and show you his bonsai trees and-

Z is for...

zzz... - he usually gets pretty tired post-orgasm, but aftercare is always #1 on his priority list. He's gotta make sure his baby is okay <3 that being said, once said baby is okay, homeboy is CONKING out for at least nine hours LMAO

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

MASTERLIST

More with Jet

Join my discord server: https://discord.gg/qnDxJ6rr67 

Tag List: @nojamsss03, @katsuhera ✦ if you would like to be added or removed, comment or send an ask. Also, remember to tell me if you ever change your username so I can continue to tag you :)

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

#jet black x reader #cowboy bebop #cowboy bebop x reader #cowboy bebop jet #jet black #cowboy bebop smut #jet black smut #jet black x reader smut #cowboy bebop x reader smut #nsft jet #nsft cowboy bebop #isirnos asks #requests #jet requests #cbbp requests #cb requests

[blackstarchanx3new]

Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 3

Pages 61-90

Back at it again with Mike and his silly little adventures in Freddy's.

Huh.

What'd you see.

Stop being vague.

Who are these creepy masked people???

The bullies from FNAF four

Damn if only there was an entire side comic FNAF 4 cough cough I made about them that will explain that lol. We'll get to the side comics I promise. ;)

Whatever he saw, he's terrified to re-live.

Ouch.

Someone got hurt-

What the hell are you apologizing for exactly?

What'd you do?

None of those people in the masks were you...

We can tell cause they actually had a skin tone lmfao.

Oh that could use some cream.

So that's why "the bite" kept making Mike uncomfortable...

This kid got his head munched on.

And it wasn't ACTION but LACK of action he's cowering in fear from a child over.

Side note this panel out of context is hilarious and I won't pretend it's not.

Hi Bonnie! :D

He is the best.

Damn okay.

What's reality?

Ominous poster of the yellow Freddy for sure isn't important.

Haha Mike ya have episodes like this often? Often enough he composes himself afterwards.

He's utterly bamboozled Bonnie apparently SAW the kid he was chasing so...maybe.

That smirk is unsettling.

So this part of the building used to be "Fredbear's" the place Michael's favorite animatronic "Spring Bonnie" is from and mentioned earlier. Fredbear is clearly the one who bit the child.

I'd be scared too Bonnie thousand yard stares are concerning.

That's hysterical coming from the clearly possessed giant rabbit but go off I guess-

He's obviously trying to make Mike feel better which is nice of him. UwU

Aww. Hug how sweet.

So now we know a bit more about Mike. Let's review:

This nameless kid Mike saw die was obviously Michael's brother Cody Afton from all the context clues we've been given:

Mike's reaction to Micheal bringing up Fredbears, due to it being a traumatic event.

Cody being "Bit"

Mike doesn't seem TOO sure they're the same person but we know it is.

Mike blames himself for not doing anything at the time to stop Cody's head from getting crunched.

Mike's grasp on reality is...Flimsy. Self admittedly he thinks it's flimsy and he knows when he needs to go home when it's too much.

Mike is desperate for comfort over his trauma with Freddy's and Bonnie's a cool dude who'll give it.

You'd think Bonnie would be a bully from his intro but he's actually a super caring guy, he just can't stand people who purposely cause problems.

Bro comes in clutch with the hugs.

You can see why Freddy would run to this guy to solve issues haha.

So from those first panels we know 1 thing:

He had no clue Ennard was in the room with them. So add stalking to the list of creepy things that clown robot has done so far.

My god it's an old man-

He's Micheal's dad! :D William Afton!

Alright I'm gonna stop being goofy and vague for a moment:

It's obvious he's evil as fuck and for the people who like to bitch he has a personality in this comic or ANY media where people give William a personality: Stop making excuses as to why you write him one note you cowards, you can give him a personality without condoning what he does lmfao. Only a bad writer would say you HAVE to make him one note for him to work. Fucking morons actually you are stupid if you believe that.

If you wanna make him cartoonishly evil with NO redeeming qualities: Cool. Whatever. Just shut the fuck up don't act like yours is "Better" because you can't think of ways to make him anymore interesting.

Everyone's William caters to their tastes. Nobody's is PERFECT. I only judge stupid vapid bitches who complain about other interpretations while blowing smoke up their own asses. Because an ego isn't pretty on anyone lmfao.

The idea giving William a personality makes you a terrible writer/person needs to die I'm sorry that's such a stupid as fuck idea idk who came up with it but kindly stop writing and stop giving writing advice. UwU With love~ From me!~

Anyways I've spoiled William is a bad person who does a bad thing, Won't say what yet but all the death in the building can give ya some ideas. And apparently because William is bad guy there's "Rules" on how to write him. From a bunch of 12 year olds who dunno how to write but I digress.

I detest the idea of that. Because let's be real all FNAF characters are blank slates and the idea of squashing creativity is dumb. Literally go wild with your FNAF AUs.

Rant aside: William seems to be a bit of...An ass.

Just slightly manipulative and rude language towards his only living child it's fine-

Ah yes. He also demands physical affection.

We get Michael's age, he's 23 aka still a damn baby.

Also, William and Michael are British.

Since we're on voices:

Mike Schmidt would sound like Legoshi from Beastars lmfao. I imagine Bonnie with a new York accent. Freddy sounds like a lady.

We finally get to see what Ennard and Michael interact like together...

Michael doesn't seem to put up with him.

Ennard's kind of a prick.

Also apparently they have a HISTORY.

One that involves Michael talking shit about his father...

For people who know shit about the games: Yes Ennard is possessed by the same person from the games.

Hah Michael tricked him.

Okay so everyone in Michael's life is manipulative towards him.

Neat.

Also Ennard is a raging hypocrite.

Also conformation William is an owner not just a robot maker. (Can't remember if this was brought up earlier again some of these pages are 2 years old lmfao)

Also this comic assumes you got SOME Fnaf knowledge. I'd hope it's still interesting for those of you who are here for my other stuff! XD

Like ouch Ennard ya don't gotta be such a jerk.

Also Mike is cute.

This panel unironically is one of my favorites because this man doesn't scream in terror at any of the terrifying robots:

It's the gay guy he's trying to befriend he screams like a little girl at.

Another help wanted joke about the Faz token under the cupcake in the office.

Michael just wants to hang out with Mike obviously.

Despite all the shit he's clearly going through dude puts on a very pointy smile.

This man is built like a cat.

Lol they made pizza together. How cute.

Hah bro is apologizing for something he didn't even do nor has control over-

Is it obvious Michael is abused yet?

Going real unsubtle here: Everything about Michael shows off he has been abused in some way shape or form.

Michael wants to think he's being friendly for reals despite clearly having second thoughts due to Ennard.

Bro is desperate for a connection with someone.

Also

Pff.

Mike c'mon Bonnie's so sweet how could you- X'D

Few things: William doesn't "Let" Michael do things.

If it wasn't apparent he was controlling as hell before it sure is now.

Also Michael is embarrassed of his interests.

Also the locker:

Again we see an instance of Michael going by "Mike" as his locker literally just has a piece of paper tapped over it adding the rest of his name lmao.

Michael is used to being toyed around with that is sad.

Bonnie continues to be a sweetheart even when he's off screen. X'D

Mike attempts to relate to Michael's interests once again.

Also another instance of Bonnie lying his ass off about how close Michael and him are:

He knows Michael's locker combination and puts gifts in there lmao.

Mike clearly likes that plush a lot. Maybe he likes Chica a lot lmao. Who knows.

One thing to note:

If Michael's working day shifts and night shifts...when does he sleep?

Grant it, it isn't ALL THE TIME but still bro's sleep schedule must be OBLITERATED.

Oh hi giant floating head in the hallway you're stalking Michael too huh?

This is just two sides of someone's brain arguing with itself that the entire positive interaction they just had was terrible AND the other party hates them.

And that comparison only makes more sense down the road.

Yeah Michael you tell him. You don't need to take that from him.

Jeremy's a cool dude.

Also the fact the kids pay no mind to this argument is funny.

Also Ennard taking genuine offense to Jeremy being a better friend lmao. Anyone can be a better friend than Ennard. X'D

We hit the image limit but oh boy. So much joy in this update.

#Creations AU #fnaf creations au #fnaf au #fnaf comic #fnaf fanart #fnaf art #fnaf 1 #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #mike schmidt #bonnie #freddy fazbear #fnaf 4 #fnaf 4 bullies #fnaf 4 cc #michael afton #micheal afton #fnaf 4 art #five nights at freddys

[dance-to-mythoughts-blog]

I said burrrr it's cold in here!

Shoto Todoroki x Black Fem chubby reader

Synopsis: Todoroki is the typical college jock and the reader is the typical aspiring cheerleader. But what happens when he typical jock wants to be with the quiet chubby girl?

Warnings: 18+, smut, degrading, fem presenting reader, chubby reader, insecurity, slight dom Todoroki, college AU, no preperation for the dick. There are no quirks. ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE UNDER 18. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

Word count: 2K

Ok. So this is my first oneshot. I hope you like it. In the process of debating what my first series should be about. I dont see enough stories around Midoriya or Shinso, might make a story surrounding one of them. Enjoy loves! <3

What started out as a typical day turned into a day from hell. You were just trying to enjoy your lunch until your friend persuaded you to try out for the cheer squad. You were a chubby girl but you could still get down when needed. The cheerleaders were the meanest of all the squads. Hell, even the fucking football team with their goofy asses were nicer than the damn cheerleaders and my bestie wanted me to try out for the team. She thinks it would make me be a social butterfly.

"Now why the fuck would I try out for the cheer team hoe? They don't do anything but fail their classes and complain about boys."

"Because it will do you good. You need to be a social butterfly, like me. Get out there and meet some people and have fun. I see how they look at you. Probably think that because you're bigger than the rest they might think you can't get down. And bitch, you get DOWWN."

"Karlie Rae please stop with your shit. I'm not trying out for that goofy-ass shit. There is nothing that would make me want to try out?"

"Shoto Todoroki. Thats it. Thats the tweet."

Shoto fucking Todoroki is one of the finest jocks the football team has ever fucking seen. It makes no sense how fine this man is. Considering this man's dad is a multimillionaire and owner of Enji Corporations. The largest law firm in all of Japan. Not gone lie, dude would be a catch but he’s a jock. He cares about nothing other than pussy and trying to see who can get the most girls after the games.

“Bitch. What do I want with Todoroki? I mean the man is fine asl but shit, what the fuck are u mentioning him for?”

“Because he could fuck you. You need some dick tbh sis and I need you to get laid. It’s been a long time since someone cracked you like an egg. I mean he looks like he likes you. Always stares at you when you walk by and also gives you little smiles. Don’t think I don’t see the way he looks at you hoe.”

“Alright. I do need some dick but why does it have to be Todoroki? When the hell has all this transpired? I never noticed any of this shit that you’re talking about. And to get some dick, why do I have to fucking join the cheer team? I can't just use Tinder or something”

“NO! Tinder is for hoes. You are just looking for a one-night stand and I think a one-night stand will do you good if you join the cheer squad. “

I get where my bestie is coming from but damn. What is the reason that I need to join the cheer team?

“Alright fine. You win. I’ll try out for the cheer team. Are you happy now?”

After your friend convinced you to try out for the cheer team, you left and went to buy all the necessities. The color scheme was black and purple so you bought some cute purple cheer shorts, a white tank top, and some white workout shoes so you can get ready to try out for the squad. You walked in the gym where tryouts were being held  with your bestie right behind you and there was immediate silence. You were a bigger girl and everyone could see that but the immediate silence was striking. You started to hear whispers and got mean stares from some of the jocks and current cheer squad. You pushed that shit aside, Karlie provided a reassuring look, and you walked in, got your number, and sat on the bleachers waiting to be called with the group. Soon as you and your friend sat down you saw a pair of heterochromatic eyes staring at you from the other side of the gym.

“Y/N it’s ok. Fuck these people and their stares. You know you get down and you’re better than a majority of these damn people. I bet the others don’t even have rhythm.”

You laughed at your bestie trying to make you feel better. It was working. Kinda.

“Karlie it’s fine. Now I see what you’re saying about Todoroki staring at me. Mans been looking at me since we got in this bitch and I haven’t even taken his eyes off me LOL.”

“See. Told you! Now when its time for your group to perform I want you to go out there and give them hell! Make them wish they never tried out for the squad in the damn first place. “

Sure Enough, they called your group. You all gathered down to the floor and proceeded to dance to One Two Step by Ciara. Once the group portion was over, it was time for the individual performances. You guys had two performances. One with the group and one individual. The individual performance was a quick minute routine that you guys had to come up with on your own. So once again, they called your number and this is where everything started to go to hell.

“Number 469 come forward,” Margret, captain of the cheer squad said.

“Please perform your routine. You have one minute to do your choreography. “

“OK. Can you turn the music to 1 Thing by Amerie?”

This bitch turned on the music then turned it off. Stated that the music was vulgar and that they cant play vulgar music. She made a slick remark too about my weight. But I’ll check her ass about that later. Now its time for the results. We’ve been here for hours awaiting the results. Just by the way some of the girls were doing their routines, I knew they were making the squad because their friend is the captain and their routines sucked so much ass it didn’t even make sense dude.

Now if I didn’t make the fucking team, that would’ve been fine but no. This bitch Margaret decided hey, let’s fuck with the fat quiet girl and embarrass her for no fucking reason.

“Number 469 thank you for trying out. But I don’t think it would be a good look for someone of your size to be on the squad. It wouldn’t be a good fit for our squad.”

If you felt that way, why would you fucking admit that in the microphone in front of everyone?  Makes no sense to me whatsoever. But I let my emotions get the best of me. I ran out crying because I was embarrassed that she said that shit in front of everyone not what she said. As a big bitch, I know that there are a lot if things that we get looked at crazy for but this here is a different type of shade.  While running out I saw a pair of heterochromatic eyes staring me down watching me run with tears in my eyes. I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

“Y/N it’s me. Open up, hun. This is the only bathroom and I know you’re in there. It’s ok. Fuck Margaret and the rest of the fucking squad. Do you want me to get the Glock and pistol whip their asses? Cause I will. But anyway, I love you. I’m not gone force you to talk to me but just know when you do I’m here.”

With that, Karlie left to give me some alone time. I wasn’t upset at what they did or what they said. I was angry because they had the audacity to embarrass me in front of everyone and then everyone was laughing. Soon as I came out of the bathroom, guess who I ran into to?

“Hey. You OK? What she did back there was whack. I think you did your thing back there” That monotone voice. It was the infamous Shoto Todoroki talking to me. Man was fine as fuck but even finer up close in person. Beautiful heterochromatic eyes, a fire as undercut with his two-toned hair. He was 6’1 with his school varsity jacket on, a white tee, some jeans, and some fresh white and purple Jordan shoes. And he smelt so fucking good that I could’ve melted in his arms like butter. I got so caught up in his beauty I didn’t even realize he was asking me about my name.

“Hey. You got a name?”

“Oh Yeah. It’s Y/N. We have Calculus together.” He meditated upon for a min.

“Oh. Dr. Briley. Class is cool. I hate how she did her syllabus tho. To much work for me.”

“Really? I took it as you always had shit given to you being who your daddy is and all. No offense”

He chuckled. “None taken. Most people assume that anyway. But I actually like science and math. Trying to work for NASA one day.”

“Nasa? That’s a nice spot to work.” Soon as I was gonna ask him if he liked football and what made him wanna join the team, this bitch Margret decided to pop up and ruin the fun. The look she gave me could kill because everyone knew she wanted Todoroki. Seemed obvious enough unless he was just in denial that she wanted him. It was hella cringe.

TIME SKIP

So a few days went by and everyone heard about what happened at the tryouts. So their coach reached out to me personally and decided to ask me to join the squad. Apparently, she had not been present for the actual tryouts but she was in the distance watching to make sure things went smoothly. So I joined because basically it was inevitable to change. I enjoyed the cheer squad. It was nice. Nice to see that over time I made a friend with Todoroki and some of his friends. Ida, Ochacko, Tsu, and Midoriya. They were all nice. Hell, even some of the meaner jocks became my friends too like Kiri, Denki, and Bakugo. Even tho Bakugo is mad at literally every damn thing.

TIME SKIP TO HOCO(HOMECOMING)

It was time for HOCO. You guys played again Kentucky State, who traveled from the Americas to Japan to get absolutely wrecked. Now it was time for the HOCO dance. You decided to wear a red dress the accentuates your curves, some silver heels, with some cocoa butter and some gold glitter body shimmer to really give it some pop. You put on your fav perfume and had your titties sitting up there to the point they looked like you had implants. You had your tattoos showing and you were proud of the color tattoos that were on your skin. Amazing. Fucking beautiful. Yu had a red bird that was realistic on your right shoulder and you had a spine tat that was a quote that you live by.

“Hey Y/n. You looks so fucking good. OMG! Bitch you are breaking necks and its something serious too hoe.”

“As I should be. LoL. Took me forever to get my buss down middle part together man. But its fire. Love how I did my make up. I feel like I stepped straight out the fucking 90’s ready to snatch somebody son. Speaking of somebody son. Half and half is staring so hard I think his eyeballs are gonna pop out his head because they’re dry lol.” With that being said, Todoroki made his way over to you and was staring you down like he wanted to devour you.

“Hey. Damn you look good. I see you actually decided to bring your ass to HOCO huh? Oh, hey Karlie”

“Hey Todoroki” what’s up? Yall did good out there. But im gone leave and let yall talk”

“By Karlie. I’ll see you later.”

“Now that Karlie is gone. You wanna get out of here for a little while?”

“Sure”

As you walked out with Todoroki you were receiving stares. You were trying to decide if you were receiving those stares because you looked fucking good or you decided to cave into your pussys desire and fuck Todoroki if he would fuck you back. Mans was beautiful and the relationship is super cliché. He’s the jock and you’re the cheerleader, who just happens to be a big bitch and that made the team because the coach said so. Not to cliché or bad right?

“What’s up Shoto. You good? You look sickly” and with that his lips were on yours. His lips were soft like he moisturized them and also took great care to specifically make sure his lips felt like a cloud. You kissed him back slowly as he wrapped the small of his hand on your back and moved to start kissing your jawline and your neck. “I been waiting to do that for a little while now. You so fucking sexy. Wanted you ever since I laid eyes on you”

“Really? How about we get the fuck out of here for real and you can show me how sexy I really am?” pecking him on his lips. He agreed and yall left. Barley made it into his dorm before his hands were all on you. His hands felt like fucking magic. Big strong hands that he uses every single day. Made you feel amazing that somebody fine ass son wanted to love you and fuck the living daylights out of you. Fucking amazing. The kissing started to get a little more heated as he gripped your ass hard. Gripped your plump ass so fucking hard like he is holding one of his footballs and you fucking enjoyed it. You enjoyed it so fucking much that it made you sick how you were basically putty for this man.

“Fuck that feels good” you let out as a breathy moan. Man was making you feel like you were on fucking cloud 9 and nothing could fuck up this moment. He started kissing your jawline while gripping your ass and telling you all kinds of nasty shit he wanted to do to you.

“If that feels good, just wait until I got you creaming on my dick. Sexy ass” his voice was deeper and filled with more lust and desire than anything. He moved me to the couch where he pushed me on my back to eat my pussy.

“Hurry up and eat me already. You are such a fucking tease man” came out more of a whine than you intended too.

“Shut the fuck up and wait. Im about to drink in every little part of this pussy and I eat it and fuck it when I’m ready. Understand?”

This man just told me to shut the fuck up while he is about to eat my pussy and fuck it. AMAZING. Who knew this man could be a fucking dom the way he’s talking to me.

“Answer me, princess. I can't do anything if you don’t talk to me” while he proceeded to slowly antagonize me and pull my panties down.

“You are so fucking wet that I could go swimming in it”

“All for you Shoto. All yours” you so desperately whined hoping he would get the picture and fuck you senseless already.

You were ready for this man to absolutely fuck your brains out and here he was playing slowly.

“Can you please fuck me already. I want you to fuck me like you are about to break my coochie in half please”

He let out a hearty chuckle “break it in half huh? Say no more. I’m not even gonna prep you. I need you to take all this dick understand?”

“Yes daddy I do”

And with that the man took this shit like we were on the fucking rocky river. IT felt so fucking good that he didn’t care if I was crying or not. He rammed it into me and it took me a min to get used to how big he was. He was long and thick with a beautiful vein on the underside of the shaft. His dick was so fucking pretty that I didn’t even want to suck it but I wanted him to fuck me with it because I wanted to squirt and cream all over that dick.

“F-fuck you feel soooo goooodddd… oh..my…fuck”

“you feel me, baby? You feel- shit, so fucking good. Gonna make me cum already. You wanna cum on daddy’s dick yea?”

“fuck I wanna come on daddy's dick.”

I came all over his dick. He looked so fucking good with his hair sticking to his face a little and his body all sweaty. His abs looked so good covered in sweat and he like to provide after care. AMAZING. I just fucked the shoto Todoroki. Beautiful. Cant wait to tell Karlie about my dick appointment since she decided that I needed some dick months ago.

#bhna x reader #bhna smut #bhna imagine #my hero academia #my hero acedamia #shoto todoroki #shoto x reader #todoroki #todoroki family #todoroki shoto #shoto x black fem reader

[its-to-the-death]

Bracket B thoughts:

"Yodel-Aadle-Eedle-Idle-Oo" is better than I expected from the movie's reputation, but I really only have so much tolerance for yodeling. Also the lines "You'll suffer till the end of time / Enduring tortures, most of which rhyme" from "Robot Hell" are hilarious.

...It's fucking "In the Hall of the Mountain King." I don't need to explain that one.

"Kidnap the Sandy Claws" isn't as bad as I remembered it being, but the verses that don't rhyme really irk me for some reason, and Lock+Shock+Barrel's singing is just...not great. So I'll give this one to "Big Shot."

"Wait for It," I will begrudgingly admit, is a good song. It's not the best villain song in that matchup, though. It's not even Burr's best villain song (that would be "The Room Where It Happens"). "Want You Gone" still very clearly has GLaDOS' trademark condescension, snark, and vitriol towards Chell, but it's also mixed with her complicated need for her to be around that adds a lot of emotional nuance to her insulting goodbye. Does she really want Chell gone because she's a pain in the ass, or because she knows keeping her in Aperture will hurt her? Does she want Chell to stay to keep testing her, or because she's her only friend? Honestly, probably some of both columns. GLaDOS has very good villain songs.

"Magic Dance" just feels like an excuse to have David Bowie do David Bowie things while singing a David Bowie song alongside minions whose singing...really sucks. "Meant to Be Yours" is a really intense encapsulation of JD's character, swinging from slow, emotional expressions of love to fast-paced, aggressive vows of violence.

"Great at Crime" is just a fucking bop, IDK. It's very catchy and goofy (in an intentional way).

Both "The Mob Song" and "Biggering" are very good, honestly. Personal preference for me.

Have you heard that guitar in "E.G.G.M.A.N"?! That shit SLAPS. It makes the phrase "I am the Eggman" sound cool.

"Look Away" is...really just not a Villain Song. Doesn't focus on Olaf enough. "There Ain't Nothin But Bad Days Ahead" is not exactly what I'd call good, but it's more fitting for this tournament.

...fuck IDK, I voted for "Who Will Know" because it seemed underappreciated, but I get why "Nothing Left to Lose" is winning. That one is really good. Maybe I should have gone for that instead.

All of the IEYTD theme songs kick ass and "Cog in the Machine" is no exception. Those vocals are powerful and emotional and very good.

"Love Doesn't Stand A Chance" confuses me because it has Regina calling Snow White a "bitch," but also can't show her doing any villainy more intense than childish mayhem like ripping a grandma's knitting and pushing a dwarf over. The tone is very confused. Also, Jeremy Jordan sings the English version of "Hurricane" and I'm a sucker for him belting about justice.

"Les Poissons" is...fine. But "Hero" and the scene it accompanies are some of the few things I actually like about RWBY, which says a lot about how good that song is.

"Heffalumps and Woozles" is not about actual villains but mere products of Pooh's imagination, so I am disqualifying it in my books on the same grounds as "Look Away." Also, "The Hounds" is pretty damn good.

I really appreciate the sheer drama of Raphael singing his own damn boss theme, and I honestly could not give a shit about that rich white girl.

I always like a good Weird Al, and "Let The Pun Fit the Crime" is very good, but "The Pitiful Children" had already seared itself in my brain as one of my favorite villain songs.

I’m right there with in Great at Crime. Epithet Erased songs are just so good lyrically.

#pulling from the pot of asks #villain song showdown

[daddygrimes]

Hello I saw your response to my question about match-ups! Tysm and i'm excited to see who your going to match me with! I hope this isn't too long!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Straight

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. I also have a very strong grunge style, like Flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots, leather jackets etc. But i'd also always enjoy a nice oversized sweatshirt or hoodie with a pair of skinny, ripped jeans and some converses or something along those lines.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends....like i'm the type of person where if someone glares at me, i'll glare right back.

I have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting.

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lincoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything.

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider I looked up pictures of spiders today and I almost died.

A/n: I know, I know... It's been a long ass time. But I'm gonna catch up with it all now 😭 Forgive me

I ship you with Negan Smith!

Negan would be interested in getting to know you, for sure. He'd keep his guard up at first and wait for you to slip up in some way so he could play a messed up game of cat and mouse with you. When he realizes that you have a sharp wit, and aren't afraid of standing up for yourself, he'd be pretty infatuated.

He digs a reckless girl, but he wants to be the most reckless thing in her life.

Before you became a thing, you had been friends. Because of the same personality type, you got along like a house on fire. Negan has always treated you like an equal and someone worthy of his time. You could sit in his makeshift office for hours discussing things you’ve never thought you’d discuss with anyone. That made you feel closer to him than any friend you ever had. It was your favorite place to hang out when there was nothing to do around the Sanctuary.

Negan loves everything about you, from your tiny freckles and eyes he couldn’t stop staring at to your grungy style and wild hair that seemed to swallow his fingers whenever he tried to pass them through and unravel some of the tangles.

Negan would dig your look but he would want you to be a little more confident and not have such a low opinion of yourself.

Keep the flannels and hoodies coming. He finds a chill girl hella sexy.

The fact that you were shorter than he was made him feel like you were fragile. It made you look less intimidating and softer than any other woman in the sanctuary, which Negan wasn’t used to. Maybe you weren't a princess that needed protecting, but he wanted to be your knight in shining armor. The fact that you were clumsy and seemed to goof around even when there was no time and place for that made him want to ensure you were always safe even more. He wouldn’t be able to live through losing you just because he wasn’t careful enough and let you run around by yourself in the middle of the apocalypse.

You never seemed to care about what people thought of you, even though Negan did. He loved how you didn't seem to be bothered by anyone. And when somebody got under your skin, you did not hesitate to shut it down, earning yourself a round of applause from your man if he was around to see it. He let you handle stuff like that and only interrupted when things started getting out of hand.

Negan would appreciate seeing that feisty, stubborn side come out when you need to defend yourself or someone you care about.

But he wouldn't like seeing you destroy yourself. He'd try to nudge you into being more vulnerable and open about your emotions. And he would do a damn good job of it.

He’d be your rock, someone you could go to with your worst problems. He knew exactly how it felt to think you were constantly fucking up, always not good enough. He was there for you. You knew he would support you through anything.

Negan would like the southern twang in your voice. He finds it endearing as hell.

He would be amused by the fact that you find smelling cigarette smoke comforting, but he'd want to make sure you don't pick up the habit as well. He'd want to make sure you don't fall into that old family pattern of smoking. He'd do anything to keep you from smoking. He doesn't want you to shorten your life even more.

Negan would dig the fact that you like swimming. He'd enjoy taking you for a swim.

He'd love that you like horror movies and rainy days. Rain reminds him of the storm inside himself.

That 80s 90s rock though, that would impress Negan tremendously.

Negan would mock you a little for your fear of spiders, but in a lighthearted way.

After he was done laughing, he would remind you that he's the big scary one, and you don't have to be afraid of spiders when he's around.

#the walking dead #twd #the walking dead amc #twd ships #twd ship #the walking dead ships #ships #ship

[hunnibearig]

Tourette's is fucking goofy. I will stand my ground if someone says if it is fake.

Always been.

Recently, my tics have been going weirder and weirder.

At first, my tics were just simple neck jerks and shoulder shrugging. But that was mostly it. And I fucking brushed it off like it would go away. No, they did not go away. They are still there.

It "progressed" (I don't know what other word to use) to my arm and it looked like I was punching the air. I actually punched the screen of my TV because of tics and my hand hurt. I was and still hella confused as to why this has to happen to me. Like, no one in my family has this disorder and I'm not sure if I inherited it from someone.

On November 13, I got vocal tics and they were basically me making weird ass noises. They were mostly woos, eee, mmm, etc... My friends at the time were saying if I was fine and I excused myself by saying that I just get bored really easily and make noises like that. They just brushed it off.

Also, one girl told me if I had tourette's because she saw me ticcing and I said that I just twitch for no reason. And she brushed it off.

My tics also consist of me swearing, for example, "Fuck you bitch," "pussy virus" "Gay porn" And yes, these were real tics. I cannot fathom how embarrasing they were.

However, some tics happend and then didn't happen again, like those swearing and punching tics. And some stayed like my head jerking and shoulder shrugging tics.

And currently, I don't know if whatever is the part that the condition affects is having a crisis because now

it has some weird breathing in tics??? I can't really explain them but I can explain the best I can. And now my legs have leg tics now and they're all weird.

Like, my tourette's make me breathe in air forcefully. The tic is very uncomforting and exhausting. I know all of my tics are exhausting however, this one took the cake. Probably one of the worst tics I have ever had. With the others, they were mostly annoying and embarrasing (Except for those leg tics. The leg tic is the worst tic I had in the moment. I actually thought that the breathing in tics were premonitory urges. Plus, they are usually with blinking tics as well.

Now, for the leg tics. Honey, what the fuck? My leg tics make my leg go up and down, sometimes I jump even. Oh yeah, and once in class, my leg tic actually made my leg hit the fucking desk!

Also, the same girl that asked me if I had tourette's also mocked my tics. She was hitting her tiny leg and saying how she still thinks I have tourette's.

And one blonde boy made fun of my head jerking tics as well.

Tourette's is so fun!!!111!!!! 😃

#tics and tourettes #tourettes #physical tics #motor tics #neurodiversity #coprolalia #goofy ahh #jerking head tic #punch #mocking #fluctuating #idk what else to tag #idk what tags to use #idk #idk anymore #okay #text post #you have to understand me #lalalala #suffering #blinking tic #shrugging tic #nothing will change #tourette's is fucking goofy #ableist tw #ableism

[bubblypinkshat]

"Dear Diary" Entry of a Hopeless Romantic Delusional Princess Syndrome Boy Toy Wh0r3

07. 15. 23

It's my birthday month!

And I achieved nothing but lies, manipulation, and misery for myself and others all YEAR!

I've been nothing BUT my worst ENEMY!

What a fuckn bogus ass bumbling bit<h

I literally hate everybody and myself without any logical reason so, yeah.

I will say.. seeing him made my day much better yesterday..😆 I don't think he'll see this but

I was SO starstruck that he said something to me...

That I couldn't say anything besides "Hi... how are you?"

And then walked away squealing like a little bitch

He was literally the highlight of my whole entire year

And of course he's suddenly pop up into my life after 2 months of cyber stalking, 3 months of thinking and crying about him, 2 late night texts, and one small but literally heartstopping moment in traffic.

UGH..... the way he looked at me had me mesmerized.

Oh I hope to hold him dearest to my heart again.

I didn't think I'd go this long without speaking but... I just hope that one day..again.. he can think of me the way I think of him.

I wish I expressed the words, thoughts, and feelings I never expressed out of fear.

I just wanted to be the girl he wanted... and didn't realize I could've just been myself.

I guess this cheesy or some weird Disney life moment where I'm supposed to be learning some moral life lesson but This shit is RIDICULOUS.

*sigh*

I give up. Anyways

Some fuckn goofy ass btch told me he was going to kill himself because of me!

Lmao...

I wanted to tell him to do it SO BAD

Like he's such a fkn.. idk like some people like him shouldn't exist

He's lonely and feels invaluable to himself because he's a sick perverted pedo and I just so happen get stuck being his FKN CARE TAKER..

I LITERALY LIVE IN HELL YOU GUYS.

He had me fix his phone and I've never seen so much unwarranted and disgusting images of children that I really wish he would just

💀☠️💀 forever and become Michael Jackson's butt plug!

I can't stand this shit

Someone take me tf away. I'm done. I rather be cheated on and get $100,000 to go shopping with.

Anyone taking applications?

I can take a mean hit too!

#boy toy #hate #punk #pink #princesscore #just fml #venting

[claggorstuff]

I'm bored... So here's a claggor and y/n go skating with the fam 💪

I was tying up my figure skates watching Mylo whip around the ice carelessly, Vander trying to get him to slow down and powder jumping a bit each time he sped past her, ekko came along aswell.. making it pretty obvious he had a crush on powder by holding her hand pretending he had no idea how to skate. I finally finish tying my skates and step out onto the ice followed by a certain idiot nearly knocking me right into the walls of the rink

"Christ Mylo! Watch it shitwad!"

"NICE TRYYYY!!! IM NEVER GOIN DOWN BABYYYYY!"

"Mylo get yer arse back over ere'!" Vander skated after him, suddenly I feel a soft hand grab mine, no mistaking who's it is

"I finally got vi's skates done up, it takes forever for her to sit still."

"I'm aware, I had to get Vander to do it for her because I couldn't hold her foot still!"

"yeah typic- ow!" Vi smacked him over the back of the head and whizzed over to Mylo knocking him down right as he was about to scare powder again

"someone's in a goofy mood!" I snicker and claggor chuckles

"the king falls.. stricken by a mighty pink haired warrior"

We could see Vander helping mylo up and scolding vi, powder skates past us holding ekkos hands

"stop holding hands love is gross blehhhhh!" She stuck her tongue out at claggor and he stuck his out right back at her

"kids, like a fungal infection."

He ruffled my hair "powders an exception!"

"hmmm.. sure she is clag."

"aweeee now I can accept you being mean to Mylo but not the sWeEt LiTtLe AnGeL"

"angel of death."

"nerd" he snickered

"says the one wearing glasses and a scream hoodie."

"plus better grades than you???"

"plus ratio plus bozo..."

"plus im not hitting Mylo over the head with my hockey stick next game if u keep going on"

"awe, that's my favourite part of your games besides seeing u absolutely destroy every player in your pathhhh!"

He sighed "perhappppsss I could squeeze it into my schedule next gaaaammmeee"

"perhaps you could help me skate, these skates are new and not what I'd usually wear."

"mmmmmmmmmmmm sure"

"yay!" I held onto his arm and he skated around with me, Vander side-eyeing us, after all this relationship is pretty new.. hes either skeptical or proud and it's hard to determine when his eyebrows are 6 inches thick.. then again mylos are 2 feet thick if u cut em in half.

"hey forehead WATCHOUT!" I smack Mylo over the back of the head and he side rams me

"ow! This isn't hockey dickweed 😠"

"but as you say, I'm a dickweed!"

"and you get no bitches"

"oh come on!"

"girls girls you're both-.. one of you is pretty!" Claggor chuckled and Mylo skated off to talk to vi

"aweee, I know I'm beautiful already but your compliments mean so muchhhhhhhh"

"I know, but hey who isn't pretty standing next to Mylo?"

"maybe a molerat, but that's a big maybe"

"awe that's mean!"

"tHe MeAnEsT"

"don't mock your amazing and loving boyfriend, I'm too cute for that 🥺"

"cute and loveable Is your brand claggor"

"oh I know, thank you thank you I can't accept this award really!"

"shuuttt ittt!"

He laughed "so rude, so rude."

"mhm, I'm a witch truly"

"well that's a bit of an overstatement"

"maybe." I got off the ice ankles sore and he followed me sitting down on the bench

"hm.. look at Mylo, he just fell on his ass again but this time he didn't hit his head on the walls of the rink"

"oooo! Yowch, that looks like it hurt."

"he takes about as much fall damage as a cat."

"if you say so!"

I leaned my head against his arm and held his hand

"youre not gonna fall asleep here are ya?"

"ehhh.. if I'm comfy enough."

"alright kids 15 minutes, round yourselves up so we can get home without me lookin for one of ya's for an hour or so." He looked at powder,who last time separated herself from the group and sat outside at a picnic table for an hour

"wooooooooooo! Home timeee!" I untied my skates

"I'm heading in early to get my shoes back on I'll be waiting for you In the lobby mkay?" He grabbed my arm "wait.. didn't he say to stay with the group?"

"hmm... I'm sure it won't take TOO long for him to find me!"

I walked back to the changing room and got my gear packed and my shoes on, boy was I wrong

#arcane #arcane claggor #claggor #claggor arcane #fanfic #claggor x reader #x reader

[zeibei]

you been asking everyone else about freeze and ice...... now it's your turn

OKAY THE ONE I DIDN’T GET TO ANSWER BC WORK KICKED MY ASS TO THE CURVE!!!BUT I'M TRYING NOT TO GO TOO CRAZY WITH THIS!!!

ICE MAN 

I just like to think he’s very silly but can be serious for sure! I rarely think he gets mad but can be a menace for sure when that happens. But I definitely am aware of canon stuff for Ice but compared to being more self centered and being that of a show off, I would like to think of him with that of the equivalent of the cat getting petted on the head for doing a good job since I do think he's very work driven. 

With the MM1 robots I do think he gets along with everyone in there and a good chunk of the characterization hcs for me come from Megamix, were I do think he and Roll has a very much a sibling relationship since loved how they interacted so much in the Battle & Chase Arc. I like to think he also hangs out with Cut and Elec since very much Megamix Influenced but not really much like Fire Man since can't stand the heat. 

DESIGN WISE! I DO THINK ICE IS A FAT BITCH!!! Besides that, I just like to think work wise with I do think Ice does Arctic exploration with other ice robots so it's a whole girls trip with that but canonically says that he does he does transportation cargo for frozen warehouse, which totes wasn't like influenced by you or anything but the idea of truck driver Ice is really good. 

FREEZE MAN  

The first ever gay robot /jk For real tho I think he’s definitely the type who is very much acts stoic and cool but in reality is the world’s biggest fucking nerd to exist. Once you get to him, very much full of expression and so the world’s biggest dork, I love to hc that his red eyebrows he got do be moving around when in a state of motion. 

But he’s overall a big old sweetie, protective of those he cares about and kinda does have a bit of a resting bitch face for sure. I do like to think of him being a bit of a show off/perfectionist based off his CD data, I love to think he just poses when making an entrance so it's goofy for sure, probably standing in front of a mirror trying to figure out how to pose and make sure it looks right. 

Esp with Freeze being a non-pollution robot, I just like to think of him taking the time out of the day to pick up trash and recycle and focus on doing things that would help the planet. He's the big tote bag with the tumbler cup full of coffee kinda binch, who also enjoys hiking and long walks on the beach. wertfghjnhgre

#korn asks #OKAY NO MORE OF THESE TO DO OF MY HCS FOR ROBOTS #BUT I WAS FIGHTING WITH MY HEART AND SOUL TO WRITE ABOUT MY HCS AND NTO TALK ABOTU SHIP STUFF BUT SDFGBHGFDSW

[girlbossminerva]

TW: Cursing, Slandering Blue Pegasus

Blue Pegasus. What's your reason for even existing? Like I don't mind. Well yes I do, sorry for advance but your Guild contains f*ckboys, who can't get women for shit, and women who are just plot devices and it wasn't good enough for you.

Jenny's machina soul, would be cool if her curves weren't the main attraction, hasn't she ever heard of being, "Pretty and Powerful." Pre-Minerva could give her a tip or two. I feel bad for her like imagine being put in a fight that you planned and then get your ass beat, damn💀 (Jenny's emoji)

Ichiya, stay dead. I wouldn't mind if you were just some comedic character who was plainly stronger than most, I wouldn't have mind but like shut the hell up about Erza being your, "sweetie." Kill me. Erza wants nothing to do with you, ong, you should have stayed in that rift you b—

The trio, hate you bitches. You have no real meaning, Ren is a blackfisher, Hibiki is irrelevant, and Eve is useless, wishing he can be Gray.

I just needed to blow steam, this guild has no real meaning only to feed Mashima's fanservice but even without it there still would be fanservice, huh.

Do all the guilds have meaning or all they to have the Fairy Tail effect, y'know goofy people but it makes no sense considering the characters personality as a whole.

I think I'm done for now, Sabertooth or Lamia Scale might be next... hope this didn't disturb you.

Kind of adorable that you thought I would find any of this valid criticism disturbing. Honestly, I wouldn't even consider it slander cause you're right.

Like ok, you wanna have a guild that's basically just a host club? alright i don't honestly care, this series has made worse decisions, but at least give them something that will make me like them?? Actually from the trimen I think Hibiki is the one that has a bit more going for him? At least from how we saw him helping lucy and the gang in the nirvana arc, I felt he had slightly more personality to stand out from the rest but that still isn't enough to be a full-on character.

Eve is just a twink and Ren has no personality or relevance outside of his relationship with Sherry, which no one cares about and has no importance on any plot so yeah useless, and his "tan"....was a terrible design choice but considering Mashima's obvious racism it isn't surprising.

Jenny is a character I rarely think about because unfortunately she's just one of many female characters that fit into very particular stereotypes which are the only thing mashima knows how to do in fairy tail. I DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER HER MAGIC AND HAD TO GOOGLE IT. It sounds cool and could've been such a great battle with Mira but noooo we gotta have a fanservice fight that no one asked for.

And Ichiya.....oh how I hate and become disgusted by Ichiya. He's like the "perverted old man" anime character except that I think he harrases Erza in less explicitly sexual ways yet he manages to disturb me even more and I feel people tend to forget that this motherfucker is thirty or close to turning thirty since his first appearance and Erza is only FUCKING 19 AND IT IS IMPLIED THAT HE HAS BEEN HARASSING HER FOR A WHILE NOW???? Society never had a need for him to exist and I wish he had died in the Alvarez war.

Also you didn't mention it but every time I look at master Bob I feel his design and how he's portrayed counts as a hate crime, of course flamboyant and gnc characters aren't necessarily always mocking of queer people but in this case I'm certain mashima just added him to be like "haha 'ugly' man in a dress speaking with an effeminate voice, so funny" and it sucks cause aside from that Bob isn't a terrible person and is actually as rounded in terms of personality as an incidental side character can be.

Please return to my inbox with more guild/character criticism, I particularly want to hear the sabertooth one because although I do love them they don't that much of a chance to shine neither the guildmembers not their collectivity itself and it's a real detriment.

#straight outta the mailbox #also for future reference there's no need to trigger warn swearing on my blog everyone knows i love dropping f bombs #unless it's something you're most comfortable with ofc #blue pegasus #fairy tail salt #fairy tail meta #monet visits

[lambsnd]

You know how to make a girl happy?

Give her the best orgasm alive. Forreals.

Trillest shit ever. If you make ya bitch cum, she’ll do anything for you!

I hate wasting a good outfit.

Like, for example.. When I actually feel like getting dressed or something & be out there super swagga drippin n shit.. I usually end up going to the grocery store & just stuntin’ on some grandmas.

There is so much ass on the internet.. WTF

Like, I just be bumping into girls on websites & wild the fuck out, man! Ass ass ass. & some of these chicks live in SUPER random places like Czechoslovakia & West Bubblefuck n shit like WTF?

“wyd?”

Just flying around in my underwear, on my futuristic jet pack, made by Rolls Royce, while Beyonce is clinged on to my nipples w/ diamond encrusted tweezers, listening to the song, irreplaceable “nm”

I look like motha fuckin Shreeva Poonjabi in the morning. Don’t ask who that is. ‘cause I don’t even know. It just seems like a name that belongs to some nigga that would look like me, when I wake up.

Currently chilling w/ King Arthur IV, surrounded by 10 bad bitches who we demanded to twerk, for 2 straight hours, while getting my ass hairs braided. #FlyShit 😎

imagine if humans had updates like computers do like u go to sleep downloading updates nd wake up w/ a fuckin jetpack built into ur spine nd have laser vision n shit LOL that shit would be cray 😁

*****fuck these lame ass rap comedians, they can't touch edgar allan poe

quoth the raven nevermore

I’d rather be your nikkuh, she’d rather be my bitch.. but no emotions cause we both is busy focused on a grip, real shit

pweourtpweiqhr5lqwker I just found some chick I used to go to high school w/ in a porno daqqwwawawgg o0o0o0 I knew this bitch was a skeezer

u ever get so fuckin goofy high that u start speaking in ancient hieroglyphics on sum สบขอรอสไบ shit

My mom deadass bought 3 fucken hermit crabs .. not 1 but 3 .. bro they finna collaborate n open up a krusty krab in my house n shit

I'm done wit normal girls they too basic .. blind girls are the new wave ladies hit my dms .. or should i say ..:.:: :..::.. ::.:

Whats good w/ these hoes walking aroun w/ fake nails, fake hair, & fake eyes talkin’ bout they want a REAL MAN?

Don’t be the shadow, be the dickriding whore everyone remembers.

I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.

Fate is so interesting, don’t you think

Let’s be real.. You can’t fuckin stand there & tell me “looks don’t matter”. I hate when people do that shit. Yeah.. A person can be the nicest being in this entire universe, but if his/her face was burnt, TELL ME you wouldn’t have that be a factor for you. -___- STOP IT. Looks matter.

Don’t trip.. I remembered. I just didn’t greet you on purpose. Celebrate hard and take a shot for me, k?

YEEESSS. Dinosaur nuggets, french fries & onion rings. I feel like Jesus is crip walking in my mouth right now. FUCKFUCKFUCK

DUDE I just lost $50 on gambling

That’s like 50 fuckin McDoubles. -___-

Tell yo friends about me *mobster voice*

Click ya’ heels 3 times and teleport into Rasheed Wallace’s bald spot.

Im pretty loaded off Moscatto.

& I have to say there is NOTHING worse than those “day-after alcohol dumps”.. Which I feel approaching my anus in about 2 minutes.

Oh shit, uh.. we’re kinda like a big deal.

her ego awakens my inner demon

Love me now, before they all do

It’s big GUWOP B!tch!

[caelcstis]

A, G, I, L, S, X (from the nsfw alphabet meme for Raphael)

nsfw alphabet. // @r3dblccd

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

raphael is always the idiot that will try to take care of you before himself - even though he is often times the receiver when it comes to sex. he just wants to make sure you're okay because you matter to him more than he matters to himself. he's endless, he's fine even if his hips hurt or his legs are week - that will pass. but if i'm calling the bitch out: strap his ass down and force him to rest because you can see it in his eyes how exhausted he is from the crying, the kisses, the body exertion. he loved every minute of it, but he is also equally exhausted as he is satisfied.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

unless stated otherwise, raphael is a virgin therefore he is clumsy. he has a very base/minimal knowledge on sex. he knows it more like textbook science in how that's how most creatures reproduce, it involves an intimacy he is unfamiliar with. therefore he will stumble, he might accidentally use teeth where he shouldn't, he might giggle from being ticklish when you try to touch him. it's okay if even you make mistakes because for the most part he wouldn't notice. some giggles are okay, it's not like sex is the most beautiful and smooth-paced activity. but he is also equally nervous so some reassurance, some seriousness and patience - it'll go a long way for an angel's first time.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

raph is always going to be a giver. he's always going to take care of you, shower you in his love, make sure you are okay before he ever goes any further. your consent matters to him, your happiness matters, and your pleasure matters. it isn't worth it to him if he's bringing you unwanted pain ( he can't really hurt anyone he loves for the most part anyways unless it's simply heat of moment or accidentally ). he'll worship you, praise you, love you. you'll know he does with every kiss he marks on your body and every touch he leaves on your flesh.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

ngl water is his favorite place. a tub, a pool, a pond, a river with a waterfall. there's just something with the mix of water and bodies pressed against each other that makes him tingle and his hair stand on his neck. it's likely because most often those places of water are intimate as is due to bathing - but he loves the touch of water against hot flesh, maybe because it's so wet you have to hold on tighter so you don't slip. it's just so exciting to him.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

raph is such a weird?? kind of stamina person. it's hard to explain but he can go a lot of rounds - but on the other side of that coin he's always quick to cum. he's capable of having multiple orgasms at once, messy orgasms because of it - his mind go blank because of how quick it can be for him to cum if he's stimulated enough. but he can go a while despite the need for hydration. keep water by the bedside - or wherever you might take him, and he can be yours all night if you want to be. even afterwards, he doesn't mind being your little cock sleeve

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

lmao underwear wise, as i've shared before - raphael can either wear lingerie, lacey and light, garters and stockings - breathable and almost see-through underwear. or, he can be entirely commando because he just never saw a point to wearing underwear when it was a "thing" to do wheeze. like he also walks around barefoot, even when it's winter and there's snow and cold mud on the ground - no he isn't wearing underwear often. he likely wears underwear more to make it comfortable for others - at least until they're comfortable with each other. it's why i always encourage muses to hike up his damn skirt and just plow his ass lmao. he can also wear things that your muse may have a preference to when it comes to underwear. lacey gowns, sheer robes, corsets/cinchers (he has a lot in general), bra/bralettes. he doesn't mind letting you live your fantasies with him.

#letters received &&. sent out ⸢ 𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗 / asks &&. answers ⸥ #r3dblccd #my head is clouded with everyone's emotions i don't know what is my own anymore ⸢ 𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋 / headcanons. ⸥ #nsfw.

[snootlessimperfectworld]

Some Incorrect Quotes

Warning: language, brief mentions of suicidal thoughts, and occasionally sexual themes

I've been working on the last 2 of the worldbuilding posts and the characters, but I'm pretty stressed since I have an interview for a new job in about 2 hours, so instead y'all are gonna get some incorrect quotes.

Malvo: *talking about something incredibly important* Aten, behind him: *mocking while doing the hand-talking motion*

Some rando: You're mad! Malvo: Mad is a word and you have used it The person: *visible confusion* *gets stabbed*

Maxlar: I'm just a silly, goofy guy! You wouldn't hurt a silly, goofy guy, would you? Malvo: *is fully reared back with a massive book in his hands ready to beat the crap out of him* I desire nothing more than to hit you right now

Aten: Yeah, I'd be pretty fucking pissed too if I had to walk around with a face like that. Malvo, glaring: I only just walked into the room. Aten: And? Bitch

Hades: Someone asked me this morning how I'm holding up since ~the incident~ and I broke down into tears. Maxlar, concerned: What was the incident? Hades: Yesterday someone tripped and spilled hot tea on me. I was so surprised by the event that instead of asking "Are you okay?" or saying "I'm so fucking sorry" I merely shouted at them "Are you fucking sorry?!" Maxlar: Oh my god... Hades: I had to sit with The Council for a bit so they could monitor my sanity. :)

Devon: Dude, did you sleep last night? Maxlar, who very clearly did not: Uh no, I didn't. Devon: Why?? Maxlar: Kinda hard to fall back asleep when you walk into your kitchen for some water at 3am and your literal Demon brother is sitting on your table surrounded by a very strange assortment of things and looks at you with those weird ass glowing eyes only to mumble "Go back to bed" at you. Devon: Did-did you ever find out what he was doing? Maxlar: Nope. Kinda don't wanna know. Devon: That's valid, actually.

Aten: God made me small cause he knew I'd be too powerful if my size rivaled Devon's. Hades: No, he made you small so you'd be easier to keep on a leash. Aten: *blinks in dirty thoughts* Uh, Hades? Troy, walking out of the room: Did NOT need to know that

Malvo: How did you and Maxlar meet? Hades: I lost track of Aten once when we were out. I found him trying to fight some people and Devon was the one holding him back. Malvo: And you allowed the two to befriend you? Hades: I had no choice in the matter. Maxlar had been laughing the entire time, and Aten found him funny. Turns out, we both knew Troy and it has been downhill ever since. Malvo: *wordlessly slides the bottle of wine closer to Hades*

Aten: Everyone's always asking me how I bagged such a baddie. Babes *laughs* I didn't bag shit. Hades: *offended noises* Aten: I kidnapped him :D

Dot: Someone asked me once if Maxlar was bothering me, like as a "Is this guy bothering you, miss?" kind of way. I went with it, cause he was, just not that way, and I recorded him getting dragged by security. Dot: Sometimes Andrea will send me the video back just to tell me she's still laughing over it.

Devon: I'm really proud of Maxlar, ya know? He became a father and he's really matured. Maxlar: *pouring honey into his drink and muttering to himself* Yeah, get in there, you sticky bee sauce. Devon: Can I retract my statement?

Malvo, angry and yelling at Hades: How does one manage to be so intelligent, yet so incredibly stupid? Aten, defending Hades: How does one manage to be such a BITCH? *Aten screaming as Malvo attacks him*

Hades: I don't understand why people are so determined to keep asking me how I'm doing when they really don't want the truth, they're just being polite. Hades: Apparently, answering that question with: "Horribly, honest. The annoying little bitch in my head keeps telling me to kill myself and my best friend is the reason I have responsibilities again." is not appropriate.

Maxlar: I've never understood people that can't stand their wives and use hanging out with friends as an excuse to get away from her. Maxlar: I've always used "spending time with my wife" to get out of hanging out with those weirdos I call friends.

Andrea: You must be pretty proud of your brother for how far he's come. *Maxlar actively doing something silly with his kids* Malvo: Proud is not the word I would use.

Maxlar: Being schizophrenic and the reason for an interdimensional war is pretty fucking wild. *Hades and Malvo both staring in horror* Maxlar: Cause like just this morning I couldn't eat anything cause I was convinced a Death Crawler assassin had broken into the safehouse and poisoned my Pop-Tarts, put them back into the packaging, sealed it with magic, and then vanished. Rationally, yes, I know this is outlandish and totally impossible considering Malvo was in the kitchen the entire time last night, but still! Hades: Oh my god...

Malvo: I am actually grateful Maxlar was able to settle down and start a family, but I do have one question for you. Andrea: What's your question? Malvo: Why?

Aten: I call Hades all sorts of weird names, some of them insults like bitch, and some actual like couple-y pet names. Aten: But last week I called him "Bri'ish" and I think I broke him

Hades: Sometimes I wonder how I would actually react if I screamed into the void and it screamed back. Malvo, calmly flipping through a book: The void's scream back is just an echo of your misery to remind you of your insignificance. Hades: What the fuck-

Troy: Old people, especially humans, like to say shit like "you must be one of them queer people that worships the devil" cause of all my piercings and my dyed hair. Troy: I like to respond with "Yeah, I do be sucking off your sons! Sucking their blood, actually.*takes a long pause* Your son is dead in a ditch somewhere."

Troy: One time, my brother arrested me. He had no reason, he just thought I looked stupid and needed to sit in timeout for a bit. Troy: He's great :D

#snootles's ocs #snootles's original work #imperfect memes #devon blackstone #maxlar whishling #malvo whishling #atendarajo evanchio #hades evanchio #troy from imperfect by snootles #andrea whishling #dorothy 'dot' baker