Tumgik
#i can survive biden. i feel comfortable surviving biden.
anthonybialy · 1 year
Text
Old Ideas in a New Year
This year sucks.  To be fair, that applies to all of them.  I predict a lousy 2023 based on the few days we’ve endured of it and also the countless decades of miserable drudgery that preceded it.  The supplier remains the same, which does not provide much hope for altered product quality.
There’s nothing special about this one.  Luckily, years don’t have self-esteem.  Some of the particular conditions are specifically unfortunate.  But the general vibe remains the same as every one of these at this time.  Any surviving hope will be dashed soon.  Finding comfort in routine will have to suffice as a victory.
At least lousy times are moving quickly.  Life still feels like we’re residing in the voodoo curse moments of 2020.  The rut is mental, which is either promising because there’s no physical restriction or woeful because our minds are imprisoning us.  Regardless of what date our phones claim it is, it would be nice to not feel stuck in the era of calling America racist while shutting it down to not stop a virus.
Time feels like it’s standing still just when you want it to accelerate.  The physics of how clocks work are beyond our puny human comprehension.  The seconds are ticking even if we can feel each one.  Science indicates the Earth seems to continue with various spinning actions.
Cheer for this to be the exception from a crummy era.  The persistently confident are hoping this grouping is not defined by presuming America is the racist Fourth Reich, surrendering rights so governors can make viruses worse, or giving Joe freaking Biden the continued chance to show that he will never be right about anything.  Examples lean toward a woeful trend.  But optimism despite experience is the one thing that sustains the afflicted.
An indifferent gift of a new year is welcomed by those who need a mental reset.  People in an uncaring universe are trying not to think about how relentless the eternal pressure of events is.  Every January feels like a fresh start, which is helpful in coping with the endless drudgery from which there is no escape.  That’s as cheery as I get.
Celebrities who’ve left us would surely appreciate that their legacy is getting lumped with other famous people who passed away during the same timeframe.  Associating things with a year is both easy and lazy.  Noticing what happens within the same 12 months happens to be an obvious way to link events, especially if there appears to be a trend of lousiness.  The inclination toward woe is a feature of this universe that can in turn be used to glue quite a few individual years together.
People don’t get wiser just because they acquire new page-a-day calendars, which is particularly regrettable news for a president who’s failed to get wiser despite numerous birthdays.  Ancient dolt Biden still thinks he can solve inflation by printing money.  He just needs to get them running a little faster if cruel Republicans stop opposing efforts to make everyone rich.  The Treasury needs more money, which it will print if only some true leader is brave enough to initiate the cycle.
A ghastly accompaniment to the ball drop showed what lamentably remains unaltered.  An Islamic terror attack in New York City is only the latest reason to avoid Times Square at all costs.  The worst part of bringing back the past in the worst way is the lack of surprise about shocking heinousness.  The combination of lenience toward criminals and contempt for police in the world’s erstwhile greatest city enables such appalling assaults.  The alleged Empire State needs machete control.
Rotten ideas don’t improve with time’s passage, which you’d think might be unfortunate news for those who inflict them.  But collectivist goons downplay individual accomplishments with an ulterior motive.  Results are exponentially worse for their victims, although empathy doesn’t seem to dog those who need it most.
A big date update doesn’t fortify the line.  The protected White House is rather keen on keeping the border open to anyone who wants in.  The only way to dissuade illegal immigration is to make the country so poor and unsafe that nobody wants to hop the border.  Truly compassionate liberals would fence off a country they think is a racist sexist capitalist inequality factory.
By contrast, those who know the present fondness for state control is as rotten a notion as it is harmful practically should disregard the chance for change.  Don’t resolve to do things differently if you’re awesome.  You’re off to a good start if you stop presuming government will fix anything, much less everything.  Learning lessons inflicted by ghastly ideas is the one way to make the new slate of months improve.  Precedent indicates this year will be dumb like all the others, and early results seem to confirm the tendency.  
0 notes
bleuberrygliscor · 4 years
Text
Alot of people are misunderstanding and misrepresenting the “vote for biden” pleas, so allow me to break it down really easily with one of my personal favorite pastimes, Splatoon.
If you’ve never played, Splatoon is a game where you basically want to cover an entire map with your ink color in 4 v 4 groups. For the sake of ease, I am using the most evenly square map i can think of, Kelp Dome. (all of the splatoon maps are super even and symmetrical,  Kelp Dome is just the first square and flat map i can think of.)
Tumblr media
The way this works is, You and your team of 3 other people are assigned a color. and you want that color to hold the majority of the map, or else you lose. You dont want purple to win, they are the opposing team. Your objective is to make sure team purple does not win. So you pick up your splattershot and get to inking.
Assuming everyone is using the same weapon and are decently good at the game, you would come out with something like this.
Tumblr media
In practice it wouldnt be this clear cut(and judd would arbitrarily assign a winner at random), but hear me out. That is what a map looks like when everyone on your team works together to accomplish the goal. Everyone is playing the objective here. Every member inked two squares! Fantastic. We all did our part.
Now, youve done your part but you really hated it, who can blame you. You dont like the color Lime Green. You were hoping green would be like a forest green or more a true deep green and not this lime monstrosity you were assigned. You find another teammate has the same feeling, they hate lime green. Absolutely detest it. Did you hear what lime green said the other day? fuck that guy am I right? “ Fuck it,” you say “I refuse to play lime green! We’re going to play Sky Blue instead!” You and your teammate swap colors and sneer at the other two who are sticking with lime green. You play the match.
Tumblr media
Whops! You and your teammate played just as good as you did last game! You covered your two squares! What the hell happened?? Well, because you and your teammate decided to swap parties colors in the middle of the election season match, youve split the ink. It became a two vs two vs four. Team Purple was banded together, they had four people covering their turf. Meanwhile you had to fight with Lime Green AND Purple to keep your Sky Blue on the map.
“Well why didnt the rest of Team Lime Green also change their colors?!” your teammate asks.
“well, why did you change yours?” a player from Lime asks you, “We were all Lime Green before the match started, What happened?”
You dig your heels and rattle off the list, noting all the terrible things Lime Green has done, both in the past and the recent present. the Lime Green team members nod and ask “Have you seen what Purple is doing though? Like now, in office? Lime Green has done some seriously gross stuff, we dont deny that, but you would need to convince 60-75% of the country to suddenly change their outlook on life within a few months. Lime Green is the only actual option we have at this point. We can change colors after the match, but right now we need to focus on beating purple right?”
You dont find that answer satisfying. You dont want someone who has done all the terrible things Lime Green has running your country. You dont want Purple either. Both options are terrible! Both colors are horrible and ugly. They're right though, sky blue cant win, not with just the two of you painting your hardest. So If your color cant win, and you are forced to choose between Racist Rapist Lime Green or Racist Rapist Purple, how can you morally choose?
“You know what? fuck this!” you say, tossing your splattershot to the side, “Why do I have to vote play either way? One of these disgusting colors will win anyway, why do I care who wins? I just wont play, theres no point.”
you leave the arena with your Sky-blue teammate, watching from the sidelines...
Tumblr media
...as team Purple Slaughters team Lime Green. (in splatoon, the map would look alot less like that, and alot more like this:
Tumblr media
“serves them right for not picking Sky blue.”  you say and your blue teammate nods along. Team Lime green has lost. Team Sky blue has ALSO lost. Team purple has won. You chose not to play the objective.
3 notes · View notes
Note
hi sorry to vent in ur asks like this but im tired of life and I have nobody to talk to. I'm so worried about the world and covid and bad vaxxes and Ukraine and Canada and fucking biden but im a year away from graduating college and I don't have time to do anything but work and study. my grandmother is in the hospital with fractured vertebra and cracked bones, all of my other grandparents have diseases that are progressively getting worse recently, my terminally ill uncle has reached the average length that people survive with his cancer and his health has gotten worse since Christmas. I spend all day learning sad things and more sad things and I come home to keep reading about sad things. I'm failing one of my required classes but I can't fail bc it would push my graduation to another year. I want to ask for a break but midterms start in a week and I cant afford to fall behind in anything. I'm so tired and afraid but there isn't a single thing I or anyone else can do except sit and wait and hope and honestly I can't see myself living for much longer like this. I'm sorry to bring so much stuff in your asks knowing that you can't even do anything but I have noone to talk to in real life or anywhere but anonymous asks really
Damn, I'm so sorry anon. It sounds like your life is really fucking hard right now. I'm not making this about me, but several times over the past year I've felt similarly. I was scared and angry and kept thinking "if things get too much worse I'm going to have to seriously consider how much of this I want to be around for". And I didn't have even half the stuff you're going through. My point with telling you this is that you're stronger than you think you are. You've held on through more than I could ever handle, and I don't consider myself to be mentally weak. As much as I can say without knowing you, I think you'll survive this, anon.
I know you didn't ask for advice, so feel free to ignore this, but I think the best thing you could do is just turn off the news completely and focus on your family and your studies. The world will go the way it goes with or without you watching it happen. Spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, and treasure every moment you have with them. Make them happy moments. Tell them you love them. Tell them anything you've always wanted to tell them but have been putting off. Try your best not to have any regrets after they're gone, and as many happy memories as you can stuff into your head. In some ways, I think it's a little bit easier losing people when you've known it's coming for a while. You can mentally prepare and make sure they're as loved and as comfortable as possible.
24 notes · View notes
alyblacklist · 3 years
Link
New interview from Vanity Fair (Italy) with James Spader (in Italian).  Translation via Google translate below (corrections welcome):
Eight years after its debut, the TV series with Megan Boone and James Spader is back on FoxCrime. Already renewed for a ninth season, the show won't provide any representation of the Coronavirus or American politics. "We are an escape from reality and we want to remain so." 
"In eight years, not a single episode has gone far and wide." The voice of James Spader, on the last Friday in the red zone, peeps out from a distant space, from an America in rebirth, whose present enthusiasm has not found any representation in the television series of which he is the protagonist. Spader, The Blacklist's Raymond Reddington, has strenuously opposed the possibility of contaminating one's fictional universe with the dross of the present. "Our show has always existed within a parallel world. Over the years, we have never bothered to plot a plot that had to do with real life, with newspaper headlines and news stories ». The Blacklist, whose eighth season is set to debut on FoxCrime on prime time on February 12, "has defined a universe of its own, to which it has remained faithful." Therefore, no Joe Biden, in the twenty-two new episodes of the television series. No pandemic. 
The Blacklist, on air since 2013, will only find the characters who have made it a cult. Raymond Reddington, a repentant criminal whose decision to cooperate with the police is not the daughter, alone, of a sudden goodness of heart; Elizabeth Keen, special agent responsible for following his confessions; Donald Ressler, Harold Cooper, the set of FBI agents and gangsters whose "Red" is determined to secure a future behind bars. 
Many television series usually set in fictional universes have, however, decided to make an exception and give their own representation of the pandemic. Why this categorical "no"? 
“For a few, but effective reasons. I think one of the strengths of our show has always been its verisimilitude. The Blacklist is a parallel universe, in which credible characters live. This allowed the audience to find an escape from reality in the series. I think many viewers watch The Blacklist because it allows them to detach themselves from the problems related to everyday life, and this has led us to exclude the pandemic over everything ». 
However, you will have had to face the restrictions that the Coronavirus has brought with it. 
"Absolutely. We had to deal with many restrictions, we had to limit the number of people present in a given location. But, net of the difficulties and the productive effort that required us, I think I can say that a magnificent job has been done ». 
Work that will continue: The Blacklist has already been confirmed for a ninth season. What still remains to be told? 
"Much. It may seem absurd, but in eight years we have never found ourselves beating around the bush. No episode, in the eight seasons, was thought of as a filler. I remember one day talking to Jon Bokenkamp, ​​the director. He had a twenty-minute longer bet on his hands. We tried to figure out how to cut it, which unnecessary scenes to eliminate. In the end, it was twenty minutes longer than it should have ”. 
Aren't you bored playing the same character for eight years? 
"No. On the set of The Blacklist, I've never had a mediocre or mundane day. The series has always been very exciting and the very idea of ​​moving forward excites me. There are many surprises in this new season. There are more for the public than for me. The writers and I talked for a long time about what we were going to do, so nothing could surprise me once shooting started ». 
And this would lead us to think of a certain repetitiveness ... 
“It would induce, though. When I play the part of Red I'm not surprised by the story we're telling, but by the world we're making it in. ' 
 Explain. 
"One of the great entertainments of being an actor is being able to be surprised by your reactions: there is amazement in the physical and emotional responses that are given in certain situations. There is some wonder in seeing a location for the first time. There is growth in looking at a problem or a fact from a new perspective. The surprise, when you are an actor, is not about where you get to on the show, it's about the little things, the details, even personal, that we discover as we go on ». 
So what has Raymond Reddington left you over these eight seasons? 
"From the beginning, what I loved most about Red was his irreverence, his sense of humor. I discovered and learned to love his pervasive and profound longing for life ». His character is highly ambivalent. 
Has he really never despised him? 
“I don't usually make judgments about my characters. I have a deep understanding of everything Raymond stands for. Rather, I'd say there are things about Red that Red doesn't like: his brutality and the danger he poses to others, for example. But I think Red is aware of the qualities that make him strong and able to survive the worst circumstances in life. He saw the tremendous price of loss and witnessed it. He feels how bad death does. This led him to strongly desire sweetness, calm, love. He is a dichotomous character, and it is this ambivalence of him that has made him so interesting ».
 He often talks about his collaboration with the writers. What exactly does it consist of? 
«In a real collaboration. Let's talk about everything that has to do with the show. We talk before the writing of the scripts, during the shoot. Let's talk about the new entries and the possible suppression of some characters. We are talking about subplots that can last years, months or days. Let's talk about the tone of the show, the dialogues. We talk during the holidays. This series keeps me awake at night ». 
 And do you think it's a good thing? 
“Let's just say I've always had trouble sleeping. When I wake up, my mind begins to travel fast. I tend to be an obsessive compulsive person, so I often stay up at night shaping ideas about The Blacklist. It happens that I waste hours trying to remember them, so as to put them on paper the following morning ». 
Elizabeth Keen, the special agent played by Megan Boone, is one of the strongest female characters on television. How do you judge the change that Hollywood is aiming for, the progressive abandonment of gender roles? 
«I find it fundamental. For me, as a man and actor, it always has been. I have always felt more comfortable in the company of women. I grew up with a female majority in the house, a terrific mother and two older sisters. I've always been attracted to strong female characters and the ones I've met in my films have been. I've always looked at the world from a female perspective, and I can't imagine doing otherwise. I understand, however, that it took the industry some time to get here. Today, I feel like saying that it is only a matter of time for the real and definitive change to be achieved ». 
 Digital has imposed a decidedly sustained production rate, even on linear television. Do you find such trouble to be good? 
«I state that I, on the other hand, have never felt in competition with digital or Netflix. Netflix aired The Blacklist, creating added value for all of us. Streaming brought us audiences, and it was great. In general, I'm happy to have the huge amount of programs we have now. Competition is a good thing, it leads to excellence, it spurs commitment ". 
 Cinema, television, theater. In his career he has done everything. Which medium did you prefer? 
“On television, I found a greater opportunity for further study. The Blacklist is the second TV show I work on, and has been running for over 150 episodes. My first character I played in The Practice, then in Boston Legal. Either way, I found it fascinating to see how it evolved, not in history, but over time. My TV characters have aged with me, and I with them. I think it's the best thing about working on television ».
Nothing bad then?
“You wake you up in the morning.When I started acting, I found myself working on the stage.It was a night job, and I've always been a night person, not a morning person.So when I found myself making films, I always tried to play characters who lived at night. What, this, that I managed, if you notice. It was television that forced me to turn. TV is a day job, which starts very early in the morning. It was a shock.I haven't gotten used to the sound of the alarm yet. '
82 notes · View notes
pain-somnia · 4 years
Text
A Rhythm That Guides
Rated: M Pairing: SasuSaku Disclaimer Day’s Notes: This fic is an exclusive on Patreon. At least Part 2 and the soon to be posted Part 3 are. I wanted to surprise everyone by releasing the first part if Biden won the election. A Rhythm That Guides is my Incubus AU which has art created by ceejss that you can find in this links: part 1 & part 2 Part 2 is only a sneak peek but you can find the High Res versions on her Patreon and also in PDFs on mine for special tiers.
I hope you enjoy my Incubus AU. Part 1 can be read as is with no continuation if you like...but there are more parts of it if you want to follow Sakura and Incubus!Sasuke’s journey.
Part One
It was happening again.
Lately, in his afternoon lecture class, he was getting a painful empty feeling in his lower stomach. He wasn’t eating as much as he used to during his lunch break so that could have explained the empty feeling.
But the throbbing between his legs was making Sasuke consider that perhaps, something else was going on.
The lecture would barely be halfway through the hour and Sasuke was finding himself adjusting himself in his seat to discreetly hide the rising tent in his pants.
Luckily he sat in the back row, but it was getting ridiculous how often it was happening.
Nearing twenty and in the beginning stages of adulthood, Sasuke realized—a little later than he should have considering how obvious it was—what exactly was to blame for his predicament.
Or more specifically, who.
Turning in his seat, Sasuke created more space between himself and the girl sitting just a single space down the row from him.
Sasuke had been affectionately labeled a late bloomer by his mother when his father had expressed concern in his disinterest in humans of either gender.
“He’s going to have to feed eventually,” his father had grunted, not at all pleased when his mother pointed out the decrease in his consumption of human food she regularly made to feed him and herself.
“Meal times will be lonely once I’m the only one that needs to eat,” she had grumbled, taking his half eaten dishes away.
Sasuke wished he took after his human lineage instead. It would have been so much easier if he didn’t have to worry about how he was going to be getting his meals for the rest of his life on top of all of his course work.
Sighing to himself, he turned a page in his notebook and continued taking notes. He would just have to suffer through the ache.
.
.
Bending over slightly, Sasuke picked up his sports drink from the bottom of the vending machine. He could do without the sweetness of it but he desperately needed to replenish his electrolytes.
As soon as his class had ended he fled the lecture hall and put as much distance as possible between him and the source of his problems. He knew he would start to hunger for a different energy source but it made it all the worse that temptation sat with only a space between them.
When the new semester had started, Sasuke did what he always did: he found the seat farthest away from other students. It wasn’t that he disliked other people. He just didn’t want any distractions.
Sasuke had always been like that, studious to a fault. At first it was to impress his father, but he learned later on that he quite enjoyed having his name at the top of the board with all of the exam scores. He moved away from trying to make his father pay more attention to him and worked to make himself happy.
And his road to happiness required a degree in engineering.
He knew he could have picked another school, one that catered more to those of his kind, but he didn’t want to go to just any school he wanted to go to the school. Even if that meant attending a school with a high human population.
I have so many regrets now, he thought as he took a big swig of his sports drink.
Sasuke wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and sighed. He was going to have to stop by a canteen for snacks if he was going to survive the rest of his day.
Eating usually sustained him for a few hours. It did nothing to fill the empty feeling in stomach but it allowed him to focus more on his lectures and labs until he could get home and try to sleep away the ache.
At least that’s what he hoped would happen. It was getting harder and harder to quell the hunger.
.
.
Sakura buried her nose into her textbook, pretending to be deep into her reading. Peering over the top she caught hold of heated dark brown eyes and quickly averted her gaze back to her textbook.
What did I do? She wailed inwardly and mentally flipped through the past few days searching for the offensive thing she may have done.
She couldn’t recall a single moment that she had even spoken to her classmate. Why was he so angry with her?
He probably figured me out…
Although she had never spoken to him, Sakura couldn’t help how smitten she had become over her classmate.
Uchiha Sasuke was a quiet boy. He didn’t seem to be a part of any of the circles and mostly kept to himself and his studies. If she didn’t see him in class, she would usually find him in the library or in the computer labs.
Sakura mostly made her own lunches and snuck them into her bag when she went to the library but when she visited the cafeteria she would find him grabbing some onigiri to go. She wondered how he kept going with their long days if he only ate rice and snacks. Humans couldn’t live off of sports drinks.
Sakura had been considering joining a study group but had been procrastinating. She had started to drift from a circle she had joined in a previous semester because of an extremely flirtatious upperclassman.
He was too touchy for her comfort but it was mostly the fact that he took any opportunity he could to complain about Uchiha Sasuke.
I guess an incubus wouldn’t like to share the attention.
Sakura shrugged off his comments and made sure there were at least two of her human upperclassmen in the same room. They were already used to the circle hopping incubi and succubi that used the campus as their hunting grounds and usually helped the underclassmen steer clear of them when they weren’t interested.
She guessed, in a way,  it made sense why the incubus upperclassman felt threatened.
Uchiha Sasuke was quiet and polite but mostly he was really attractive. And it helped that he didn’t flirt with anything that moved.
An herbivore maybe? Sakura had joked to herself once.
Well now her quiet classmate was glaring daggers at her and she had no idea why.
And yet he is still beautiful while angry. The gods are so unfair.
Sakura kept her head down and she waited for the professor to arrive. She hoped he got there soon.
.
.
It was irritating how dangerous a blush could be.
Haruno Sakura was fair in coloring with pale skin that colored easily.
Sasuke had wondered if she was a regional dryad when he first saw her hair and eye color. Humans had a tendency to dye their hair but her eyebrows and pale, untouched lashes proved her to be a natural rose gold haired person. There was a chance of her being descended from a cherry blossom tree nymph.
But she was obviously human—or at least too far down the family tree from any possible nymph—without him having to ask.
“Is this computer taken?” Sakura asked, pink dusting the apples of her cheeks.
Glittering sea foam green eyes cast to the side shyly and the biting of a plump lower lip was just a reminder that Haruno Sakura was an above average beauty, even when compared to incubus standards.
It would be difficult to find a tastier looking meal.
What the fuck?
Disregarding that passing thought, Sasuke looked around the room for an available computer station. Even if there wasn’t one she could still switch computers with someone that wasn’t working yet.
“You should find a different computer,” he snapped when she reached for the chair. He gripped the top of the seat’s back and attempted to stare her down.
Pale green eyes went wide and the trembling of her lower lip made Sasuke’s stomach drop. He instantly regretted his behavior despite the fact that he needed her as far away from him as possible. Sasuke opened his mouth to ease the situation when, with more strength than he had expected, Sakura yanked the chair out from under his hand.
“Unfortunately for the both of us, this is the only available computer station,” she said hotly, face flushing red. She sat down and propped her textbook up so that she could reference it for notes.
A side effect of his awakening incubus nature was a heightened awareness of the emotions of different creatures. Sasuke could feel her irritation and her anger rolling off of her in hot waves. Her anger did nothing to quell the ache in his lower abdomen. Instead, heat pooled lower and a familiar twitching had him exhaling deeply through his nose.
“Shisui likes to get Izumi angry on purpose,” Itachi━who had lucked out and had taken after their human mother━━had explained once when he and his spouses were visiting. “Something about more flavoring.  He never gets me angry like that but then again, I’m more likely to withhold if angered. It affects him more.”
It was something that he had absolutely no interest in knowing about his older brother and his in-laws but it had explained a lot about Shisui’s behavior on certain days. Shisui was like his father, faithful. It was a strange trait for an incubus but it was one that ran in the Uchiha family. They married their partner━or partners like in Shisui’s case━and fed from them exclusively. It was interesting to watch how Shisui and his spouses functioned in comparison to his more traditional father.
But at the moment he was just irritated to know he shared a similarity with Shisui of all people.
The sound of fingers pounding down on the keyboard next to him lightened to a steady stream of light tapping. Sasuke chanced a glance from his peripheral vision at his neighbor.
Something glittery caught his eye when Sakura tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. The shorter strand curled around her ear and revealed a trio of silver studs along her lobe. His eyes trailed from her ears to her cheeks, the color had faded out as her temper cooled.
Her eyes squinted, a crease forming between pale brows as she contemplated her next keyboard strokes. Eyes drifting from the wrinkle between her eyebrows, Sasuke eyed the way she bit her lower lip at the right corner.
As she worked the scent of desire had diminished from her direction. Her anger hadn’t quelled it but her focus on her assignment had overcome the secondary feeling. It drifted to a quiet buzz, the way a few humans got when they were near someone they were innocently attracted to.
Sakura continued to work, not bothering to try and chat with him, like she always did in their shared lectures. That was the part Sasuke never understood. She never bothered him outside of handing him the exit slip for their lectures or to get around his seat.
And yet her existence was hard to ignore.
She wasn’t the only human at their university that was attracted to him. He wasn’t oblivious to the stares and to what people assumed was subtle brushing against his body.
So why exactly was she such a problem?
Sakura sighed and pushed her keyboard away from her. The action caused her propped textbook to slide upwards  against the monitor and system unit and fold in on itself.
“Oh, shoot!” Sakura hissed under her breath as the book began to fall. She fumbled with it as it slipped off of the desk.
He hadn’t intended to reach for the textbook. It was mostly reflex that had him making a grab for it. It hadn’t even occurred to him until after it was safely in his hands that catching the book would give away the fact that he had been paying far more attention than he should have been. He shouldn’t have been paying any attention at all.
“Thank you,” Sakura murmured as he handed back the book. Her face did the thing again where it colored easily, pink spreading across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose.
Great.
Sasuke sucked in some air to try and distract himself from the heat pooling in his groin. It wouldn’t do for his hunger to manifest itself as a lump in his jeans.
Quickly logging out, Sasuke grabbed his belongings and made a swift exit.
He needed to get as far away from her and her dangerous blushes as possible.
.
.
It was odd. He could still taste the slices of tomatoes his mother had chopped up. They slid across his tongue, still tangy and cool from having just been taken out from the refrigerator, every bit as tasty as it always was but it didn’t hit his stomach the same way.
“Is everything alright?” Mikoto stopped in her stirring as she eyed the way Sasuke’s mouth twisted and he pushed away the plate of his favorite fruit.
“I ate like three tomatoes worth of slices and I’m still hungry.”
“Oh.” Mikoto looked down at the pot on the stove and frowned. “Should I make more or…?”
“I don’t think it would matter if I ate more or not at this point.”
Sasuke’s jaw clenched as the ache in his stomach stung sharply. He was running out of time.
He had hoped he would never have to deal with this problem. His older brother Itachi never did—he turned out to be human, no matter the fact that he was almost perfect in everything he did, he was human through and through.
Sasuke had figured if his brother ended up being human then he would get passed over as well. Unfortunately, genetics weren’t on his side on this one.
Clearing his bowl and wiping down his spot at the kitchen table Sasuke bid his mother goodnight, calling it in for the night.
Without bothering to turn on the lights for his bedroom he peeled off his shirt and kicked off his house slippers before collapsing onto his bed. He yanked his duvet out from under him and pulled it over his head.
“I don’t even want to touch anyone like that,” he sighed.
As soon as he had the thought, his mind flashed him an image of pink hair and red blushes clashing with jade colored eyes.
I’m not entertaining that.
Sasuke curled into a ball and clutched a pillow to his chest. Maybe tomorrow he would be less hungry.
.
.
It was like he hadn’t eaten in days.
There was nothing that could have distracted him from the pain in his lower stomach. It was pride that had him struggling to get to class. That and an exam later on in the day that he couldn’t afford to miss.
Traveling by train was a hassle due to the amount of attention he was attracting.
“Never let yourself starve,” Shisui had warned him weeks ago when the signs of transition were revealing themselves. “Your body will go into starvation mode and release pheromones that attract nearby humans that you can feed on. That may sound helpful, but it gets chaotic in public spaces.”
Sasuke was forced to exit the train five stations away from the university station and call a taxi company that specialized in otherworldly patrons. A pair of high school girls were inching closer and one middle aged man had already brushed his back against Sasuke’s chest much too often to be blamed on the rocking of the train car.
He wouldn’t survive the rush of travelers that would hop on the train at the central station.
“You don’t look good, kid.” A single horned demon cab driver turned in his seat to look back at him. “I could drop you off somewhere you can get easy prey.”
What, did he have a sign on his forehead that read “Starving Incubus?”
“Take me to K Uni,” Sasuke growled out more forcefully.
Incubus physiological issues weren’t going to get in his way of passing the semester with top marks.
The demon gave him a disapproving look before pulling away from the curb. He muttered something derogatory that Sasuke chose to ignore.
Sasuke was dropped off as close as possible to the building he needed to get to but it still wasn’t enough. He weaved through campus, taking the least crowded hallways to get to his destination.
“Fuck.”
Sasuke ducked under a stairwell and slid down against the wall to the floor. The hunger pains were getting worse.
Exhaling deeply through his nose, Sasuke resigned himself to missing his two lectures for the day and then braving his way to his exam. He would just have to hide out. Luckily he was in a part of the building no one used, choosing instead to use the staircase and elevators on the opposite side of the building than the ones that faced the cafeteria.
Unzipping his jeans to make more room for himself without actually whipping his penis out Sasuke sighed out, grateful for the few centimeters of relief.
Sasuke rubbed his forehead with the heel of his palm. Unlike erections from his youth, he was having difficulty willing his current predicament away with meditation. It wasn’t arousal, it was hunger. And it wasn’t going to be going away just because he wanted it to.
Closing his eyes, Sasuke leaned his head back and tried to focus on the cool cement wall behind him.
“Uchiha-kun?”
Oh, no. No. No. No!
“Uchiha-kun are you, okay?”
Of course Haruno Sakura would be the one person that chose to walk in a secluded part of the building. Of course it would be the last person he wanted to see him in such a state.
“Do you...need assistance?”
Or maybe...she was the perfect person to find him?
“Uchiha-kun, do you need me to get someone? Or something?”
Her voice was warm and full of concern and just so inviting. The tone promised she would do anything to help him. Anything.
Opening his eyes, Sasuke let out a groan. This just wasn’t his day.
Sakura squatted so that she was eye level with him and tossed her bag on the ground. The hem of her blue button down shirt dress rode up her thigh, revealing more of her legs than he had seen before.
“You look a bit feverish…” she mumbled, placing a cool hand against his forehead before sliding the back of it against his cheek. “You’re really—“
Her sentence was caught off when she gasped. Her skin was so cool and he was so hot that he had leaned into her touch and pressed a kiss to her wrist.
“Um, Uchiha-kun?” Sakura squeaked and Sasuke took advantage of her shock to take hold of her hand and press an open mouthed kiss to the inside of her wrist and dragged his lips up her palm.
He wasn’t sure of what he was doing, but something inside him was telling him to take her slim fingers into his mouth and nibble at the tips.
“Uchiha-kun…?”
Already in his presence for too long, Sakura’s green eyes glazed over and she was beginning to pant. Sliding his left hand up her thigh over her dress, Sasuke gripped her hip gently and tugged her so that she would fall on to his lap.
Sakura’s breath hitched when Sasuke pressed his forehead to hers. His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose and lightly tapped against her face. Nudging her nose with his, Sasuke pressed his lips against hers, guiding her into opening up for him with hesitant movements. Sakura returned his kiss, running her tongue along the seam of his mouth.
Every sigh and moan lightened the ache in his stomach. Sasuke rolled his tongue against Sakura’s and brushed the underside of her right breast, gently strumming his fingers against her ribs.
“Mmh!” Sakura made a sound of surprise as he gave a small breast an experimental squeeze.
Sasuke groped around with his thumb, circling a hardened peak through the cloth of her dress. Sakura grunted in frustration as he avoided the places she longed for him to touch.
Irritation rolled off of her in waves as she bit down on Sasuke’s lip, tugging it as she pulled away from him. Sasuke couldn’t help the upturn of his lips as she crossed her arms in front of her chest and puffed out an exhale to blow hair out of her face.
The more frustrated she got the more her arousal spiked. Her body was demanding release and as much as Sasuke’s hunger clouded mind wanted to give it to her, there was another part that wanted to prolong the moment.
Since the start of the semester, Haruno Sakura had been a nuisance. Every shared lecture she would distract him with her not so subtle glances and the smell of fresh linens and apples whenever she passed him to get to her seat.
So he wasn’t in any particular mood to just get it over with.
Slowly, as not to frighten her off, he slid his hand up her thigh under her dress. He pulled her in closer by cupping the back of her neck and thumbed smoothing circles along her jaw.
Sasuke was sure lack of experience would cause him to stumble, but apparently being an incubus did have its perks. His heightened senses guided him and he was sure he was moving exactly the way Sakura wanted him to. Not a single intake of air or moan was hidden from him.
“Oh!” Sakura buried her face in the crook of his neck as his fingers slipped into the front of her cotton boy shorts.
With two fingers he lightly traced the velvet soft nether lips and hummed in delight at the way Sakura trembled at the slight touch. He wondered how much of it was the exposure to his incubus pheromones and how much of it was her own sensitivity.
Stroking inward, Sasuke groaned at the moisture pooling between her legs. His stomach clenched, cramping with a sudden pang of pain. He slipped his middle finger inside and curled it, feeling her walls and stretching her a bit. He pumped slowly, keeping alert for any signs of distress, and then with his thumb circled around a curious, knobby bit of flesh right above her entrance.
It was almost instant the reaction he got out of Sakura. She gasped and curled inward on herself, clutching his shoulders.
“Please…” she begged, swiveling her hips hesitantly. “Please, oh, please!”
Sasuke gave in and pressed his thumb directly on her clit, massaging it and rubbing circles, adding pressure to it and listening to the change in pitches of Sakura’s moans. Slipping in his ring finger as well had Sakura letting out a strangled cry. Sasuke paused, worried that he had hurt her when she whimpered.
But then Sakura grinded her hips against his hand and he resumed pumping his fingers and twirling his thumb in the way she seemed to enjoy.
“Hm!”
Sakura caught him off guard by taking his face in her hands and lifting his face up to hers. Their teeth clanged together from her eagerness, but Sasuke allowed her to relax and settle into a languid meshing of lips all on her own.
A moan rolled into his mouth and it caused a delightful shiver to run down his spine. Sasuke increased the pace of his pumping fingers and the rubbing of his thumb, coaxing more of Sakura’s little moans. He shuddered when one particular moan of hers hit at the same time the walls of her core fluttered and clenched around his fingers.
That was good…
Sasuke pulled his fingers out, smirking at the dejected whimper that fell from Sakura’s lips. He slipped the fingers that had just been inside of her gathering her fluids and sucked on them. His stomach growled, needing more.
Sasuke laid Sakura down on the linoleum floor and tugged on her panties, dragging them down from her legs. He kept an eye on her face for any signs of protest but instead what he got was Sakura shimmying her hips to assist in helping him peel away her undergarments.
“Huh?” Sakura blinked her unfocused eyes as Sasuke adjusted their positions so that her upper body was lying on the ground and her legs were lifted onto his shoulders. “What are you━?”
She cried out in shock as he cupped the pert rounds of her backside and pulled her up to his mouth. Sasuke let out a breathy chuckle before flattening his tongue against her core and giving it one long lick upwards, flicking her clit at the end of the stroke.
Sasuke groaned, pressing open mouthed kisses to her core as Sakura covered her mouth with her hands to reign in her moans.
No matter how hard she tried to keep quiet and hide her reactions, Sasuke felt them all as they warmed his lower stomach, easing the ache he had been suffering through for weeks.
I wouldn’t have been avoiding this if I knew how good it felt to feed.
Sasuke wrapped his lips around the bundle of nerves that caused the most delight and sucked on it. He adjusted his hold on her to slide his right hand around so he could slip his fingers back inside and thrust them in and out in tandem with the oral attention he was giving her clit.
It didn’t take long for Sakura to tense up, thighs squeezing together around Sasuke’s head as she held on tight to her orgasm. Sasuke licked languidly at her core, letting her ride it out as long as possible.
The better she felt the less empty his stomach felt. The only problem was the throbbing between his legs.
Sasuke laid Sakura back down on the floor. Her dress bunched up around her hips, showing off her bare pale legs and the tuft of glistening pink curls at the peak of her thighs.
She was so pink everywhere. Her hair, her flushed face, even down below she was just so pink.
Sakura peered up at him from beneath wet, pale lashes. Her chest rose with each harsh pant as she tried to settle down her breathing. Sasuke was just about to call it off—perhaps he had reached the limit as to how much Sakura could take at once—when she lifted the hem of her dress further up, dragging it to bunch up at the cinched section below her breasts.
Swallowing hard, Sasuke sat up on his knees and tugged his jeans lower on his hips.
“Holy…” Sakura shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. “That’s not going to fit.”
It was a part of the incubus anatomy that Sasuke hadn’t considered causing him any issues before. Sakura was petite, much smaller than he was. The size difference would be a challenge.
Especially considering incubi had much, much larger members than humans.
“It’s going to be fine,” he assured her, kneeling in front of her.
He spread her legs wider and pulled her up so that she was propped on his lap. It was a move that had his cock brushing the entrance of her core and he groaned at the heat radiating from her.
Sasuke pressed the head of his cock and watched Sakura’s eyes as they widened when he inched further in.
Sakura whimpered as he stretched her further. Even with all of the foreplay earlier, Sasuke was still much too big for comfort. Sasuke soothed her by stroking her thigh. Sakura reached up and took his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers.
“Keep,” She panted, “going.”
Gripping her hip with his other hand, Sasuke steadied her as he pulled out and thrust back in. He kept his thrusts shallow, hoping to get her accustomed to having him inside of her.
“Oh!” Sakura tightened her hold on his hand when he sank further in, finally able to slip past the tight passage of her core.
It’s still not much inside though…
Sakura arched her back, clearly ecstatic at the new sensation as Sasuke picked up the pace. Her face was no longer pinched in discomfort, much to Sasuke’s relief.
But maybe it would be better if I…
Sasuke slipped out and Sakura sobbed at the loss of his girth inside of her. He knew that his pheromones and body fluids acted as an aphrodisiac but he didn’t realize that humans could become so desperate once they came in contact.
Sasuke turned Sakura over so that she was lying down on her stomach. Realizing what he was up to, Sakura braced herself on her forearms and arched her back so that her ass was in the air.
Sitting up on his knees, Sasuke took his cock in his hand and guided himself back into Sakura’s wet heat.
He groaned aloud at the feeling as he sank even deeper than he was able to before. He waited for a moment as Sakura got used to the new position. A high pitched cry had gotten caught in her throat as he had stretched her out once more but it had turned into a moan as he slipped further inside.
Using a two handed grip on her hips to anchor himself, Sasuke pulled out and drove back in. His pace was slow but the thrusts were harsh and deep as he soaked in the blissful energy radiating from Sakura.
Sasuke began to increase his pace when a door opened up from a floor above them. A loud set of girls had flung the door open and were giggling to each other as they made their way down the stairs.
He instantly halted his movements and strained to listen to where the people were heading. He was reluctant to pull out; partially because he was almost well fed, partially because Sakura had turned her head to look back at him, face scrunched up in a pout, silently pleading for another release.
He was pleased to hear their voices carrying upwards, going in the opposite direction of where he and Sakura were hiding on the first level.
A sigh of relief caught in his throat and choked him as Sakura began to push back against him, grinding her hips.
“Oi,” Sasuke chastised, tightening his hold on her hips to still her grinding. They still weren’t in the clear until he heard them exit the stairwell through one of the doors.
Sakura whined low in her throat but settled when he leaned over her and pressed a kiss to her nape. She sighed dreamily as he continued to lavish her with sweet attention. He trailed more down her spine until he heard the clanging of a door shutting.
As soon as they were alone again, he pulled out and rammed back in. He couldn’t drag it out any longer or he would risk them almost getting caught again.
Snaking a hand around Sakura’s hip and down between her thighs, he reached for her clit and pinched it. Sakura squealed and the walls of her core clamped down on his cock. He rubbed it in a pace to match his thrusting.
Sakura mewled in delight as he swiveled his hips, grinding deeply. One good thrust and she came undone once again. Reluctantly, Sasuke pulled out at the last possible moment, ejaculating on the back of her thighs.
He could only compare the decision to pull out to the feeling of someone swiping away the last bite of one’s favorite dish before they could get to it but it would have been unwise to come inside of her without knowing if she were on any birth control.
He moaned softly as the last drops of cum oozed from the slit of his cock’s head. The act was so messy despite how pleasurable it was. It wasn’t going to be fun trying to clean up.
“Haruno,” Sasuke tried to get Sakura’s attention. She was face down on the linoleum, arms having finally given out from under her. “Haruno?”
Sasuke shook her shoulder and when he got no reaction he flipped her over onto her back. Her eyes were shut and her chest rose slowly with each breath she took.
Haruno Sakura had passed out right after her climax. Considering his starved state, he had drained her of more life force than was necessary.
Sighing to himself, Sasuke took out his handkerchief and got to work on wiping his ejaculant from where it was dripping on her legs.
So fucking messy.
.
.
Blinking her eyes open, Sakura yawned before turning her face into the comforting warmth she was leaning against.
A small cough drew her attention up to the face of her classmate Uchiha Sasuke.
“You missed two lecture blocks.”
Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. He had just fucked her until she was unconscious and that was what he wanted to inform her of?
“You’re an incubus.”
If the abnormally large size of his penis wasn’t a dead giveaway, his eyes had shifted colors and glowed red when he had sucked his fingers clean of her fluids. When had they shifted back to dark brown? She had no clue. She had been knocked out by the sudden draining of energy he had consumed.
Sasuke glared at her before averting his gaze. He stared at the wall and muttered, “Unfortunately.”
Sakura took note of how he cradled her in his lap, his cardigan sweater covering her. She watched as he avoided looking at her even as his ears burned hot pink.
He was still Uchiha Sasuke despite everything.
“This might be a weird time to mention it, but I like you. A lot.” The pink on his ears spread down his neck. “And I usually have more stamina than that. I’m not kidding, Uchiha-kun. I was in my high school’s track club.”
Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled deeply.
“How about you start with calling me by my first name and we’ll work from there?”
“I can do that.” Sakura squirmed in his lap, making herself comfortable. She was still exhausted from earlier despite taking almost a three hour nap.
Ah, shit.
“I had an exam during one of those blocks.”
“Shit. I have one in half an hour.”
Sakura burst out laughing as the color drained from his face. He really was still the same Uchiha Sasuke she had been sitting next to all semester.
“At least you won’t be hungry, huh?”
“Real funny…”
130 notes · View notes
aal-archaeology · 3 years
Text
Summary of my first term of my Ph.D. at Stanford during a global pandemic and an extremely controversial election year (Anthropology, yr. 1, she/they, 25y/o) with some toggl data analysis
Tumblr media
Well this year was a doozy if I don’t say so myself. But we survived it, and its okay if that’s all you were able to do this year because that’s enough.  As an offical 18th grader, I feel like I can speak pretty well to the toxicity of the academic environment. There is always a pressure to be working all of the time, people compete with each other with how few hours of sleep they got, every conversation with fellow students is just listing off all of the different assignemnts you have to do by the end of the week. On top of all of this, this is 2020. So, I decided that this year I’m going to give myself some mental slack. 
I decided that this is the year that I’m not going to try to impress anyone. I’m just going to survive and do what I have to do to move onto the next term. I think I did a pretty good job at that for the first term, so I’ll share a bit about what I observed in myself and those in my cohort. Coming into term one having to choose classes, many of my peers were packing their schedules full of 5 Unit seminars. For those who don’t know, theoretically, a 5 Unit course is supposed to take about 5-6 hours of work outside of class hours. For Stanford Anthropology, most PhD students take as close as they can to 18 credits, and anything over that you have to pay extra for the courses. Taking more courses doesn’t really put you any further ahead in terms of completing your degree, and you’re expected to complete about 45 Units each year for the first two years of the program. 
I decided to take 2 seminars (typical), a language course, and a couple filler credits that we are given the option to use if we need 1-3 units to hit 18 total. I,  fortunately, tracked every hour spent outside of the classroom working on each course using toggl (i highly reccomend): 
Tumblr media
In a typical week, I spent about 5-6 hours/week outside of class on my Anthro seminars, and about 6-7 hours on Japanese. Japanese was a “for-fun” class so I would usually study more of that when I didn’t feel like reading dense archaeological theory. 
Toggl was a really cool way to see where I was spending too much, or not enough, time on my classwork. If it was taking me more than 1.5 hours to get through a single article, I knew I was probably spending too much time on it and should move on to the next thing. My goal for the term was to stay true to the 5 Unit idea of 5-6 hours, and not over-work myself. 
Toggl was also useful in tracking my mental health throughout the term, as it is very obvious to see when I just was not physically capable of ingesting 400 pages of reading. For example, election week:
Tumblr media
Election week was really hard for me, and everyone else in the world honestly. I had various family things I was dealing with, typical existential dread, plus it was week 8-ish of the term when everything was already on fire in terms of workload. For one of my seminars (purple), we had to read a book for the following week which I was able to do the sundar after election day. However, for the days leading up to and surrounding the 4th, the only thing I could mentally handle was mindless Japanese vocab studying. One of my seminars really sufferend this week, and I straight up just didnt show up to the smaller Anth 310G class because I had only read the title of the pdf. Fortunately, I emailed my professor of my Theory class and was like “yo dude I cannot” and he replied that he understood and wouldnt call on me during that day of class. 
I didn’t do a whole lot of journalling at all this term, but for this week I just wrote “pain” on most days and then YAY BIDEN at the end of it. 
Weekly Schedule
Tumblr media
Above is what a typical week looked like, some were a lot lot lot more dense, others not so much, but this was pretty average. Not all things on the calendar are work related, some are extra lectures from visiting professors that sounded interesting, or “Free Boba & Snacks Pick Up” put on by my residence. Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday were my big work days last term, where I didn’t have a whole lot of classes so I would do most of my reading then. On Tues and Thurs I had one 3-hour seminar, and M-F I had a 50 min Japanese class. 
I woke up every day around 7am-ish, made a green tea, and sat at the computer to work, filter through emails, etc. On particularily open days I would go grocery shopping, go for bike rides/walks around campus, go buy food/boba. 
On class-heavy days, I wouldn’t leave my computer for 8-12 hours, which is extremely ridiculous but that’s the new norm in school in 2020. This kind of stunk because all of the socializing was also on the computer, so even if I wasn’t working I was doing screen related things. 
EVERY day I stopped working at 6pm. Rarely did I do readings past 6pm unless I was really slacking somewhere. From 6pm onwards I would do things like play Among Us or League of Legends with my discord friends, eat, watch movies with my partner, etc. And then most nights I would try to be in bed by 12am at the latest. 
Social Life
Despite the online nature of things this term, I was suprisingly able to meet a lot of great people on campus. We were all being tested at least once a week, which made in person gatherings with 1-4 people a little less scary, especially when half of the people lived together in one household. 
In the first week of school, some of the grad programs put on a “speed friending” zoom event, where I was able to connect with two people really well. We ended up doing a “slow-friending” zoom event afterwards and then created a FB group chat and added all of the people we had met into it. The group ended up being about 15 people, and we would message the group for park hangouts, going to get food, or going on walks on campus. We also had a huge get together in a park for Mid-Autumn Festival, where we sat in a socially distanced circle, chatted, and ate mooncakes. 
Most of my socializing came from my online friends, and amongus was a huge savior to my mental health this term wher emy group would play literally every night. I also made a really good friend off of Bumble BFF this term, who I’ve hung out with a good amount for plant shopping and board games. 
I’m very fortunate to be in a situation where I can get tested for COVID on a days notice, and very grateful that I could use that to stay a little sane.  My Biggest Accomplishment this term, was not school related. but instead I hit my 365 DAY STREAK on duolingo. This was celebrated with cake. This streak has lived through literal hell and for that I am very proud. 
Tumblr media
Overall reflection:
This term was super rough, there were a lot of days where I just napped through it and a lot of days where I couldn’t bring myself to do any work. However, I think the courseload that I took was very manageable and I’m going to continue to go light on myself in that regard. 
I really liked the boundaries that I set for myself this term, not working after 6pm and making time to do some fun things in the midst of chaos. I never felt like I was too far behind on work, or that I wasn’t doing enough, because I had a literal reminder in front of me that I had already put x amount of hours into something with toggl. 
Sometimes in class I would feel like I didn’t know how to productively contribute to conversation, but I think thats a skill that will get better over time and not being so great at it should especially be expected in the first term of a program.
Socially I met a lot of wonderful people who also made me feel more comfortable will myself. I started using She/They pronouns which feel really comforting to me. I made a lot of little origami cranes every time I was feeling sad. I drank a lot of boba. Watched a lot of She Ra. Played a lot of games. It all ended up being okay despite the weight of everything around me. 
Tumblr media
I’m proud of all of you for making it through this year, I know it was really difficult for a lot of people in more ways than it was for me, but we’re still here! Sometimes all you can do it make it to the next day and thats such a big accomplishment on its own.  Please feel free to reach out with any questions about time-management, toggl, phd stuff in general, archaeology, etc! Always happy to help out. :’) Thanks for reading! Lyss
45 notes · View notes
arcticdementor · 3 years
Link
I was talking to Sarah yesterday and I had a revelation I think is worth sharing.
Let’s begin at the beginning. About a month ago, Instapundit posted this.
Now, I’ve been thinking of the rise and fall of civilizations lately. I can’t think why it’s been on my mind. It’s a tale as old as time—a civilization emerges, establishes a new worthwhile order, the good things brought forth by said order soften up the people maintaining it, the softening turns to decadence, and the decadence gives way to the barbarians, who clean the slate. Where would you say things are lately?
In short—the federal government of the United States of America has become impotent at almost all good things.
Expanded out—There is no start to its talents. It cannot maintain its borders. Since the “election” it doesn’t even try. No surprise there. It cannot maintain friendly relationships with allies—as our recent screwing of Britain on our way out of Afghanistan shows. The “leader” of the “free world” could not be bothered to pick up the phone for our closest ally. Speaking of Afghanistan, it can’t win a war. It can’t even lose gracefully. In fact it fucked up leaving so badly some people are entertaining that it intended to fuck it up, because how the fuck does somebody above the age of six not notice that pulling the military out first and the civilians out second is not even a remotely workable strategy? Resulting in leaving millions of dollars of equipment—and—excuse me, what? Millions of dollars of dollars in the desert? Fantastic.
It makes self sabotaging and idiotic choices to stymie its own domestic oil industry, while accepting a pipeline not from Canada, but one that’s a joint Russian-German venture instead. Which means the problem, contrary to any environmentalist whining, isn’t the pipeline—it’s the pipeline with a friendly country. Big surprise— its only true interest in the environment lies in international agreements that hamstring us while doing nothing to China, the world’s largest polluter. It either can’t be trusted on energy production  and the environment, or is trying to get it wrong.
It can’t manage its economy. What could have been a “V” shaped recovery has been turned into an “L” shaped one. What could be contributing? Paying people to do nothing? Rampant inflation? Meanwhile all the dumbasses running the country can think of is spending several billion more dollars that don’t exist. The country has infrastructure problems for a fact, but they’ll only acknowledge that to the extent of cynically plastering the word on an “infrastructure” bill which is in fact just a far Left wishlist that largely ignores actual infrastructure, in the hopes people will be dumb enough to support it because it has the right label.
And on.
And on.
And on.
What aptitudes does it have besides taking money, trampling civil liberties, and ignoring constitutional laws at gunpoint? News flash, dummies: We don’t need peaceful protestors incarcerated without a trial. We don’t need the weight of the federal government turned to the problem of violating states rights because Texas passed a law Biden doesn’t like. We need military egresses that look like they weren’t planned by Bozo the clown and an economic plan better than something China would design for us as an attempt to permanently sink the country. Is there anyone at all in DC who can provide that? If not, is there anything useful they can do? I’ll wait.
This is what decadence looks like. When the government stops even attempting competence because nothing and nobody that currently exists can replace or displace them so who cares about results? When comfort and plenty have become so common, been taken for granted for so long, that the question of utility or even basic sanity isn’t even distantly considered. When it’s assumed that self-harming policies that will obviously damage the country won’t really matter because nobody has ever known a world without America and fundamentally has no idea how the present day came to be. When the country’s most educated start chasing bizarre and unimaginably stupid ideas on economics that boil down to “inflation won’t happen if you double the monetary supply by printing money, if only you just believe hard enough”. In fact, when education stops being a means to greater insight, more useful abilities, and a better life, and becomes a cult devoted to the kind of idiocy that can survive only with strenuous censorship, the tenets of the cult being treated by the indoctrinated as a collection of sacred mysteries and deeply-thought paradoxes— while to those not similarly trained it is self-obviously a collection of contradictory and self-serving lies.
Verily, decadence is here. We can infer that what comes next is the barbarians. And we have options. Mexican illegals? A heady mixture of poverty-stricken Marxists who have never known a system that wasn’t corrupt, functionally lawless, and devoted to the tenets of voting oneself rich; and outright criminals with lives like “a demon’s resumé”? Perhaps radical Muslims? By sheer numbers worldwide they’re the most likely option. The Taliban just got a huge infusion of cash and a big boost in morale. In a few short days we’ll know whether they’ve arranged a thank you gift for Zho Bi-Xen and his kleptocrat marching band to commemorate his intended pull-out date. But even if, and God I hope, they have not, we can expect an uptick in terrorism and quite shortly. Or perhaps China? The Middle Kingdom would laugh at being called barbarians, but I call genocidal communists like I see them. Mao was morally three steps below a pig and Xi has enough power to aspire to greater depths. As is I wouldn’t dream of feeding a pig Mu Shu Xi due to the great risk of poisoning the pig.
But there is a barbarian group not considered. Us.
Hang on. Before you balk, listen. Look again at what these idiots are selling as the fruits of civilization. Defenses of pedophilia and urinals as art. And more, too—sterilization and disfigurement of teenagers in the form of sex changes. Black supremacy as a panacea to made up threats of white supremacy. Books nobody reads, movies nobody watches, paintings that exist only to launder money—even the ones not made by Hunter Biden.
What good person would not be proud to be considered a barbarian by these miserable, over-decorated Faberge people? I’d be mortified if they agreed with me! So they think I’m a sexist or a racist or whatever. Fine. They do not use these words to mean the same things I mean, so it’s a pointless argument, and they are now officially beneath my explaining myself to them. When the people who are calling me names are so morally opaque that the Taliban can make devastating critiques of them just by referencing the foundational works of their own gender studies programs, I’m done caring about the names. Fine. I’m what you think is a racist. I’m what you think is a sexist. But you think a lot of very stupid things, and as the curtain continues to draw back on the carnival of madness that’s been behind the scenes the entire time it’s occurring to me that what you think and reality overlap so seldom that the only time not to ignore you is when I can ridicule you. If that is your civilization, someone hand me a pointy horned helmet.
Yes, this is a moment of peril, but also opportunity. See in your country what every hostile group listed above sees in it—the makings of great civilization, along other, less stupid lines. All of it guarded by weak, fat, stupid people with no will and no self-belief. Take that mindset and go forth.
Get involved in your local systems. There is an old prayer for God to make ones enemies ridiculous. Congratulations to whomever was still praying it. Your prayers have been answered. Will you tell me that you cannot defeat these people? People who lose casual debates to terrorists not on principle but on basic facts?
You can’t reason with them so don’t bother. Recent events have made it clear you may as well try to talk sense into a three-day-old mackerel. Just confront them with their own stupidity so that people who see the inevitable video understand what this is about, and don’t feel that you are too good to shout them out of the room. You’re the barbarian, remember? Not like the nice civilized people with their gender-queer Tik-Tokers pushing vaccine propaganda. That means you’re excused from conversations with morons. Don’t bother trying to find common ground. Look at where they’re standing! Do you want to try to find the midpoint between that and reality? Silly. Pointless. Send them back to their walled online gardens to whine to their equally stupid friends about the barbarians.
Can we take it back from the ground up? I don’t know. But hey, it’s got to be worth a shot. Join the fun! Find some friends and locate a low-hanging political event to raid. When was the last time you went to a town hall for your town? Isn’t just a part of you curious to know whether your local county commissioner starts by declaring her pronouns? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see someone like that made very uncomfortable? You can make that happen. You can probably do it within the next month. Bring a few friends! Or a few dozen. Some of the people reading this probably were afraid to do that kind of thing for fear of losing their job. The Biden economy might have freed up some of your time. What have you got to lose now? More importantly, the way things are going, are you going to lose it anyway if things continue as they are? Think on it.
2 notes · View notes
veliusthewanderer · 3 years
Text
Louis and Roger on Afghanistan
In my last post, I introduced two fictional characters, Louis and Roger, who are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Louis is a progressive, liberal Democrat and Roger is a by-the-book diehard MAGA conservative. I had thought that it would be some time before I put these two into a debate, but the situation in Afghanistan has changed dramatically-- Roger: Damn Biden. We should be crushing the Taliban once and for all! Already ISIS is establishing a base in that godforsaken country. VTW: Roger, you're not allowed to just interrupt me when I'm trying to set up the debate. Roger: Why you're even bothering is unknown. You've been nothing but a Commie toadstool since 2012 and likely longer. Louis: Mr Robertson, its still rude to interrupt. Please allow our host to finish and open the floor for debate. *Watches as Roger folds his arms across his chest and huffs* VTW: As I was saying, the situation there has changed dramatically. The Taliban have begun celebrating the withdrawal of US troops-they would likely call it a retreat-and Biden will soon give an address explaining the situation. While this address has yet to happen, I would like to open the floor to discuss the ramifications for Afghanistan, America, and the overall war on terrorism. Now, since Roger interrupted my opening, the first exchange will begin with Louis. Louis: I feel as though no matter how its explained, no matter how logical it is, the Right will simply go on their propaganda networks and Twitter and Facebook and decry the decision as being Biden's fault. As my colleague has just demonstrated, the Too-Far-Right will immediately start calling for Biden's impeachment. Roger: That;s because he NEEDS to be impeached! How many Afghan translators and their families, not to mention the Americans still in that country have been left behind! Biden has committed a grave injustice and he should be made to pay for it! Louis: You'd impeach Biden for your buck teeth Roger: HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY TEETH! VTW: Gentlemen, settle down and get back to topic Louis: I'm sorry. VTW: Roger, do you think the Right will call for impeachment of Biden? Roger: If they dont, they're RINOs! Marjorie-Taylor-Greene and Lauren Boebert should lead the charge to get Biden out of office. Louis: And you propose Trump return? Roger: HELL YEA! He's the only one could can clean up the mess Biden's causing. Louis: Never mind that Trump made the devil's deal with the Taliban without consulting the Afghan provisional government...a government we supported for 20 years. Roger: Ahh, you accuse us of trying to distort the facts, yet here you are trying to do the same thing. Trump did NOT do a deal with the Taliban! VTW: To be fair, he did invite them to Camp David, and I highly doubt it was for a summer vacation. Nearly all the Republicans supported that move. Louis: And those same Repubs are now attacking Biden for following up on what Trump had started at Camp David, along with Pompeo. There's photographic proof. Roger: Bull! That's doctored up. That wasnt Pompeo it was the guy who was Secretary of State during Obama's presidency. VTW: Moving on, what do you think is the future of Afghanistan now that the Taliban are back and the US is out? Louis: It remains to be seen. They say they wish to be more respectable in terms of the treatment of women, but past experience has shown that the hardliners among the Taliban will push to enforce Islamic Law again. Its why many Afghans are trying to leave the country. I suspect in some point in the future, we will likely return in force becaise of ISIS-K and the likelihood of an alliance with the Taliban. Roger: Mark my words, we WILL be back. And I say this time we need to get the job DONE. Turn that country into a colony of America, take their oil, crush their drug trade, liberate their women and Christianize the whole lot of them! Louis: If Buddhism couldnt survive in Afghanistan, what makes you think Christianity would fare better? Roger: We do what the Spanish used to do with the Natives....convert or die. There will be NO
other options. VTW: That's getting into a whole different topic and this is also veering into an area I never went to even when I raged on the GOP. Roger: You have no balls, that's why. VTW: You and I will have to have a talk after this, about proper behavior. Okay, my last question for whoever is brave enough to take it is, does this situation bring about a setback in the overall war on terrorism, and if so, how bad a setback? Roger: Hello?? Can you say 9/11?? How do you think Al-Qaida launched those attacks on us that day? The Taliban gave them aid and comfort! ISIS-K is wanting to do the same thing, and the Taliban have yet to show us they're dedicated to keeping terrorists out. Biden's folly will bring about another, more lethal terror attack on US soil, maybe this time using bioweapons or nukes. Louis: I do agree this is a setback, but we still have allied nations close to the country with airbases. We're still engaged against Al-Qaida and ISIS. While it is possible that ISIS-K will get a foothold in Afghanistan now that we're gone, if the Taliban remember nothing else, they'll remember what happened the last time they sheltered a terrorist group within their borders. Even the hardliners in the Taliban would not wish to invoke the wrath of America yet again when they've seen our troops off just moments ago. VTW: Thank you both for a spirited discussion. And a reminder that just because I host these two gentlemen does not mean I have left blogging behind. I will continue my own rants as things happen. So until they do, I wish you all a good day.
1 note · View note
sciencespies · 3 years
Text
Emperor penguins on pathway to 'quasi-extinction' this century, scientists warn
https://sciencespies.com/nature/emperor-penguins-on-pathway-to-quasi-extinction-this-century-scientists-warn/
Emperor penguins on pathway to 'quasi-extinction' this century, scientists warn
Emperor penguins thrive on Antarctica’s coastlines in icy conditions any human would find extreme.
Yet, like Goldilocks, they have a narrow comfort zone: If there’s too much sea ice, trips to bring food from the ocean become long and arduous, and their chicks may starve. With too little sea ice, the chicks are at risk of drowning.
Climate change is now putting that delicate balance and potentially the entire species at risk.
In a new study, my colleagues and I show that if current global warming trends and government policies continue, Antarctica’s sea ice will decline at a rate that would dramatically reduce emperor penguin numbers to the point that almost all colonies would become quasi-extinct by 2100, with little chance of recovering.
That’s why the US Fish and Wildlife Service is proposing to list the emperor penguin as “threatened” under the Endangered Species Act. The proposal will be published in the Federal Register on 4 August 2021, starting a 60-day public comment period.
The greatest threat emperor penguins face is climate change. It will disrupt the sea ice cover they rely on unless governments adopt policies that reduce the greenhouse gases driving global warming.
Emperor penguins. (Sylvain Cordier/DigitalVision/Getty Images)
The US Endangered Species Act has been used before to protect other species that are primarily at risk from climate change, including the polar bear, ringed seal, and several species of coral, which are all listed as threatened.
Emperor penguins don’t live on US territory, so some of the Endangered Species Act’s measures meant to protect species’ habitats and prevent hunting them don’t directly apply.
Being listed under the Endangered Species Act could still bring benefits, though. It could provide a way to reduce harm from US fishing fleets that might operate in the region. And, with expected actions from the Biden administration, the listing could eventually pressure US agencies to take actions to limit greenhouse gas emissions.
Marching toward extinction
I first saw an emperor penguin when I visited Pointe Géologie, Antarctica, during my Ph.D. studies. As soon as I set foot on the island, before our team unpacked our gear, my colleagues and I went to visit the emperor penguin colony located only a couple of hundred meters from the French research station – the same colony featured in the movie March of the Penguins.
We sat far away to observe them through binoculars, but after 15 minutes, a few penguins approached us.
People think that they are awkward, almost comical, with their hobbling gait, but emperors walk with a peaceful and serene grace across the sea ice. I can still feel them tugging on my shoelaces, their eyes flickering with curiosity. I hope my children and future generations have a chance to meet these masters of the frozen world.
youtube
Researchers have studied the emperor penguins around Pointe Géologie, in Terre Adélie, since the 1960s. Those decades of data are now helping scientists gauge the effects of anthropogenic climate change on the penguins, their sea ice habitat and their food sources.
The penguins breed on fast ice, which is sea ice attached to land. But they hunt for food within the pack ice – sea ice floes that move with the wind or ocean currents and may merge. Sea ice is also important for resting, during their annual molt and to escape from predators.
The penguin population at Pointe Géologie declined by half in the late 1970s when sea ice declined and more male emperor penguins died, and the population never fully recovered from massive breeding failures – something that has been occurring more frequently.
To assess whether the emperor penguin could qualify for protection under the Endangered Species Act, the US Fish and Wildlife Service encouraged an international team of scientists, policy experts, climate scientists and ecologists to provide research and projections of the threats posed by climate change to emperor penguins and their future survival.
Every colony will be in decline by 2100
Emperor penguins are adapted to their current environment, but the species has not evolved to survive the rapid effects of climate change that threaten to reshape its world.
Decades of studies by an international team of researchers have been instrumental in establishing the need for protection.
Seminal research I was involved in in 2009 warned that the colony of Pointe Géologie will be marching toward extinction by the end of the century. And it won’t just be that colony.
My colleagues and I in 2012 looked at all known emperor penguin colonies identified in images from space and determined that every colony will be declining by the end of the century if greenhouse gases continue their current course.
We found that penguin behaviors that might help them adapt to changing environmental conditions couldn’t reverse the anticipated global decline.
Major environmental shifts, such as the late formation and early loss of the sea ice on which colonies are located, are already raising the risk.
A dramatic example is the recent collapse of Halley Bay, the second-largest emperor penguin colony in Antarctica. More than 10,000 chicks died in 2016 when sea ice broke up early. The colony has not yet recovered.
By including those extreme events, we projected that 98 percent of colonies will be extinct by 2100 if greenhouse gas emissions continue their present course, and the global population will decline by 99 percent compared with its historical size.
Meeting the Paris goal could save the penguins
The results of the new study showed that if the world meets the Paris climate agreement targets, keeping warming to under 1.5 degrees Celsius (2.7 degrees F) compared to pre-industrial temperatures, that could protect sufficient habitat to halt the emperor penguins’ decline.
But the world isn’t on track to meet the Paris Agreement. According to one estimate, by Climate Action Tracker, countries’ current policy pathways have a greater than 97 percent probability of exceeding 2 degrees C (3.6 degrees F). With recent government announcements factored in, the increase is estimated to be around 2.4 degrees C (4.3 degrees F).
So it appears that the emperor penguin is the proverbial ‘canary in the coal mine’. The future of emperor penguins, and much of life on Earth, including humanity, ultimately depends upon the decisions made today.
Marine ecologist Philip Trathan of the British Antarctic Survey contributed to this article.
Stephanie Jenouvrier, Associate Scientist, Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution.
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
#Nature
1 note · View note
Text
Okay. I don’t like making political posts but.
I feel it’s necessary.
Cause I see so much BULLSHIT on my dash about how people won’t vote/can’t for vote for Biden and Harris cause MORALS.
And I get it. Like I do. I wish we currently lived in a world where we could, fully, with all our hearts, back the candidate of our progressive party. And I FUCKING GET how sad and exhausting and debilitating it can be to accept another mediocre, shitty white dude. Like I get it. I feel it in my bones. But.
Can you check your privilege for like a second?
Cause we are at the point, the same point society has been in countless times, where we are just fighting for the removal of a raging, violent, evil presence in the seat of power. If you can sit comfortable at home and think, “well this dude isn’t want I want” then you’re not fully comprehending the danger of another 4 yrs of Trump.
And maybe you, with your privilege, will survive another 4 yrs...but many won’t. Many haven’t survived the first 4 yrs. And yeah, maybe Biden won’t make everything better. But he is not worse than Trump. He can NEVER be worse. He has a party, that he is beholden to, that will keep him in check. And even if we can’t progress as much as we want under him, at least we won’t continue the evil, nasty, world killing regime of Trump. The party of putting kids in cages, the party of advocating for the violent deaths of immigrants, BIPOC, trans folk, and anyone not white and Christian and straight.
This administration has eroded the foundation of freedom in this country, has threatened the idea of freedom abroad, and has given voice to the extremely violent and most hateful amongst us. And yeah, sometimes the first step away from chaos isn’t the most perfect step, but we still have to take it. If not for ourselves, then for those of us whose lives are literally in danger. So please fuck off with this “socialism or nothing” because by not voting, you are always voting for the continuation of the status quo.
Signed, a socialist who is sick of seeing my friends die.
23 notes · View notes
star-mum · 4 years
Text
LIVE REACTION TO NIGHTMARE TIME EP 1
Idk if anyone would even be interested in reading this but as I was watching the show last night I kept writing down my reactions on my notes so here we are
*this is all in caps idk why just roll with it*
THE OPENING SONG IS SUCH A BOP OMG NICK LANG HIMSELF ?????? MONSTER FUCKER RIGHTS ???? HIDGENS ENTRANCE HOW ICONIC "LUCY IS HAVING NONE OF IT" I LOVE THAT OMG JOEY PLAYING KONK (?) IS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT THE BEGGINING IS JUST TARZAN FANFIC SKSKSKSKS MARIAH IS TEXTING JOHN (?) AND HES LAUGHING SM WE LOVE A COMEDY QUEEN I LOVE THEM USING THE ZOOM BACKGROUNDS SKSKSKS KONK IS AWFULLY CLOSE TO COCK AND I THINK ITS ON PURPOSE ?? SPECIALLY WITH THE LAG I HAD TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE SOMETIMES SKSKSKS SOMEONE JUST SAID "TED'S ORIGIN STORY" ON CHAT AND I LOST IT !!!!! COULD YOU IMAGINE ???? HANDSOME LADY ? I MEAN SURE TIGHT JOHN IS LOSING IT FUCK MAN, SAME CURT OMG THAT ACCENT OOOOOOOOHHHH BOY I KNEW IT WAS HER FIANCEE SHIIIIT WE CANNOT TRUST HIM I KNOW THIS !!! "ENTAGLED" SKSKS WHAT SIR HES GAY CHILL OUT WHATS THE YEAR, IT FEELS SO OLD TIMEY "I'D SAY YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR THIS APEMAN" OOOOOOOHHHH DONT U SAY JONATHAN IS A PUSSY BITCH I CAN TELL LUCY JUST DROP IT OH SHE ACTUALLY DID ????? FUCK IT UP BABE
(I JUST ACIDENTALY DELETE HALF OF WHAT I WROTE SHIT, ILL HAVE TO REWRITE IT FROM MEMORY) WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE TRICKING US??? THEY CALLED IT, WHAAAAAAAAT WDYM "PLAY THE PROFESSOR" IS HE NOT A PROFESSOR WHAT ALTERNATE REALITY IS THIS I NEED TO KNOW
ARE THEY GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM WHAT??? SINGING LONDON BRIDGE WHILE CHASING SOMEONE IS MY FAV SCARY TROP HAHAHHA YEEEEESSS "TOOK OFF WDYM" GIRL HE IS HOLDING A GUN WHAT DO YOU THINK "WDYM" WHY DID HE KEEP THE KONK ACT AFTER LUCY LEFT SKSKSKSKS TED WTF SKSKSKS "I DO SOME OF MY BEST THINKING WHEN IM ERECT" HAHAHAHA TED LIKES TO BE A HIMBO THATS GREAT IS HE GOING TO KILL TED ?? AAAAAAAHHHHHH TED HE HAS A GUN PLZ DONT TEST HIM HE HAS ALREADY KILLED A MAN OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUCK RECAST???? WHO IS TAKING TED'S ROLE ????? OH SO ITS NOT OLD TIMEY AFTER ALL RED SOMETHING???? OH TED'S GONNA PROPOSE IS SHE GONNA SAY NO? SHES GONNA SAY NO RIGHT ? FUUUUUUUUCK HAHAHHAHA WHY IS HE NAKED ??? JAHAHHAHA WHAT WHAT IS HAPPENING TED WHAT ? "PROFESSOR SHOULD GO FUCK HIMSELF" HAHAHAHA PORNHUB PREMIUM ACCOUNT HAHAHAH "OOOoooOOoOoOoOoOohhHhhHh BUT IT IS" FUCK NO DONT KILL HER OOOOOOOOOHHHH TED'S DEAD SHIT OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH ROBERT'S ACTING IS *CHEF'S KISS* DAMN OH SHIT TED *NOW* TED IS DEAD FUCK HIDGENS IS HERE NOOOOOOOOOOO IS HE GONNA KILL HER ??? OH SHIT OH FUCK LUCY'S CAUGHT IN  A BEAR TRAP WHY ARE PPL SAYING WORKING BOYS IN THE CHAT ??? OH THATS WHY !!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH MINE IS A LITTLE BEHIND IS SHE BROKE ??????? OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT HIDGENS GOT PLAYED THATS ON YOU BUDDY OH FUCK HIM UP LUCY ! BECKY BARNES ????? HATCHFIELD LORE ???? WAS SHE RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS HUSBAND IS THAT WHY SHE CLIMBED A TREE APE MAN SHOW UP PLZ WHO IS IT THO ?????? JEFF HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK JESUS CHRIST APE MAN YEEEEAAAHHH WOOLY FOOT ?????? IS IT CHUMBY???? OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH HAHAHA YEEEEAAHHH HOW DID HIDGENS KNOW ????? OH IS IT OVER ?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANTED MORE ;-----; THIS WAS SO GOOD THO OOOHHH FUCK ANOTHER MUSIC NUMBER JAMIE YOU LOOK AMAZING !!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR THESE SONGS TO BE AVAILABLR FOR US (IN LIKE 3 YEARS CAUSE IM BROKE SKSKSKSK) HE DANCES THE CAN CAN ?????? OKAY I SKIPPED A BIT TO BE ON TIME WITH EVERYBODY "ARE YOU FUCKKING HIGH????" YEEEEEEEEEAH PART 2 BABEY !!!!! NICK'S HAIR LOOKS AMAZING OMG OH ???????? BILL AND ALICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I MISSED THEM !!!!!!!!! OH THE TEEN ANGST I LOVE BILL SM HE'S SUCH A GOOD DAD DEB ????WHY WOULD U HURT BABY ALICE LIKE THIS ???? "I MIGHT NEVER SEE DEB AGAIN" GOD ALICE CHILL OUT LET HER BE A PLAY WRITER BILL CMON "MY BUDDY PAUL" AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH BLINKY ??? I DONT TRUST THAT AT ALL FUCK NO JOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHNNNN I DONT TRUST HES CHARACTER THO OOOOHHH LOVE DISCOUNTS I DIDNT LIKE THE WORKER CALLING HER PRINCESS THO, SHES BILL'S DAUGHTER NOT YOURS OOOOOOHHHHHH NO OH NONONONOONO BILL IS GOING TO DIE I JUST KNOW IT BLINKY IS EVIL I CAN FEEL IT ALICE NO NO LITTERING WHORE JAMES !!!!!!!!!! ALICE IS ALSO GOING TO DIE MAYBE RIGHT NOW WHO KNOWS BLNKY WTF SHE IS A MINOR WTF AAAAAH I DONT LIKE IT HERE JAMES ILY BUT THIS CHARACTER IS CREEPY AS SHIT I DONT LIKE IT HAHAHAH TIGHT LOVE THEME PARK STUPID SHIRTS "I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE FUNNY" HAHAHAHAH DROWSY TOWN ? THE CHAT PULLED MY ATTENTION TO THAT BUT I DONT GET WHY ? IS THIS BAD "I'D FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE" THIS IS SUCH A DAD THING TO SAY OH ALICE CMON DONT SAY THAT BILL CUT IT OUT WITH DECIDING YOUR KIDS FUTURE THATS NOT FUN OH GOD I DONT TRUST THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO "AHOY BOYS AND GIRLS" NO NONONONONO UNCLE WILEY FUCK OFF THE SNIGGLES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH "WE'RE THE SNIGGLES DONT BE SCARED" YOU KNOW WHAT SNIGGLES I AM SCARED BUT HELL YEAH SONG TIME OOOOOOOHHH FUCK IT UP JAMES OH ARE THEY GONNA LIKE GIVE THE AUDIENCE A SLEEP INDUCING DRUG OR SOMETHING ??????? "DONT BLINK" AHAHAHA I DONT TRUST THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH "GREAT WE'RE DEAD" HAHAHAH THE SONG WAS A BOP THO "WHAT ARE THE SNIGGLES?" GREAT QUESTION ALICE "NOW U KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN I HAD TO SEAT THROUGH DEH" HAHHAHAHA "SEE U IN A SNIG" HAHAHA SNIGGLETTE ???U OKAY BBY??? OOOOOOOOHHH MORE SONGS HELL YEAH I LOVE ANGELA'S VOICE SM THE SNIGGLE PUNS ARE KINDA CONFUSING ME NGL WHY WAS THAT SO SAD OMG OOOOOOOH SHIT OH FUCK THEYRE GONNA KILL HER I JUST KNOW IT OMG "PRAISE THE WATCHER" OH MY GOD PLZ DONT KILL HER "UNTIL HE'S SEEN EVERYTHING" W H A T LAUREN'S VOICE SKSKSK SO CUTE PAPA SNIGGLE I DO NOT TRUST YOU THOSE ARE ALIVE ARENT THEY ????? OH FUCK SNIGGLETTE IS SHE OKAY ????????? "ANGELA R U ALRIGYT" WHAT "SHUT UP JEFF" OH MY GOD I DONT LIKE WHEN THEYRE SELF AWARE SKSKSKSK " U CAN SHUT THE HELL UP LAUREN" HAHAHAHA BILL OMG HE'S SUCH A DAD HAHAHAHAH ALICE IS SO NICE DO THEY NOT KNOW "ARON AROOON" HAHHAHA OH CHURROS I LOVE THOSE THE GIRL SHE DOESNT LIKE ?????? OH NON BINARY RIGHTS LOVE IT "IS THIS A FRIEND OF ZIGS" OH LOVE RESPECTFUL DAD DEB NOT COOL OH ALICE SHIT ALICE BBY IF SHES CHEATING ON YOU THATS NOT ON UR DAD STOP SHITTING ON HIM LIKE THIS "ITS UR MOTHERS FAULT" OH MY GOD HAHAHHAHA GREG AND ALISON ? AND BETH ?? DOES BETH LIKE HER ????OH NOOOOOO GREG NO U SHITTY SON OF A BITCH GOD FUCKING PUNCH HIM OH  NO HAHAHA FUCK NO THEYRE ALL POSESSED ARENT THEY THATS THE TEEN FROM THE MOVIE THEATER HAHAHHA "it lagged ;-; now we wait" A MAN IN A HURRY HAHAHAHHA OH SHIT BILL IS MAD IS HE POSESSED TOO ??????? OH SHIT WHATS HAPPENING BLINKY ????????? OH NO OH NO SHES GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK THEYRE GONNA BE FINE RIGTH ??????? RIGHT ???? BREATHING EXERCISES BABY CMON OH NO PLZ DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID BILL NOOOOOOOOOOO BILL PLZ DONT DIE AGAIN I LOVE YOU SM PUT UR SEATBELT BACK ON PLZ NOOOOOOOOO OH THEYRE BOTH GOING TO FALL ARENT THEY OH NO OH MY GOD OH SHIT PHONE IS BROKEN OOPS AWN IM GONNA CRY PLZ LET THEM SURVIVE I BEG YOU NICK LANG OOOOOOOOH TWILIGHT BUT GAY I AM *HERE* FOR IT OOOOOH THANK GOD THEYRE SAFE THANK YOU NICK LANG BILL YOURE SUCH A GOOD DAD OH GOD SHIT ALICE CHILL OUT ITS JUST A PHONE BABE "SHE KNOWS IM WATCHING HER" I DONT TRUST THAT IS *SHE* POSESSED OR IS THIS JUST TEEN ANGST ALICE UR DAD IS TRYING HIS BEST PLZ CUT HIM SOME SLACK OH MARIAH TURNED HER CAMERA OFF OH DEAR GOD WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HAHAH I LOVE LIVE BLOOPS OH MY GOD BLINKY IS TERRIFYING FUCK NO DO NOT GET THAT WIGGLY JUNIOR BILL DONT HOW ??????? OH MARIAH IS BACK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ??????? WHY CANT BILL GET THE MALLET THING DONT TAKE IT YES SMART LAUREN ? SKSKKSS WHAT MADAM IRIS I DO NOT TRUST YOU WHAT ?????? IS THAT ALICE'S PHONE ???? BILL DONT GET SCAMMED OH ITS AN ALL SEEING IPHONE ALICE CHILL PLZ IS HE GONNA DIE ????? PLZ NICK DONT DO THAT ALICE DONT DONT KILL UR DAD 49.95 AGAIN BILL PLZ TRY ANOTHER GAME JAMES DAMN THATS RUTHLESS BILL WHAT AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IS THAT REAL ???????? IT CANT BE ??????? OH ITS NOT REAL ARE THEY MAKING THEM HATE THEIR FAMILIES AND KILL EACH OTHER ?? A TENDER KISS ON THE CHEEK FROM A DEMON HOW NICE GUYS PLZ JUST GO TO THERAPY I BEG U WHAT ARE U GONNA DO BILL? KICK HER HEAD ??????? (SORRY I HAD TO) BLINKY'S FUNHOUSE THAT SOUNDS WARM AND COMFORTING THIS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF NOT UR SEED FIGHTING IN THE MIRROR PART OF A FUN HOUSE IS ALWAYS A GOOD HORROR MOVIE TROPE OH FUCK ARE THEY GONNA WAKE UP OH FUCK PLZ WAKE UP ESCAPE THIS ALIVE YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH OH SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM ISNT SHE ????? SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM I JUST KNOW IT HES AWAKE SHES NOT IS BLINKY GONNA KILL THEM ?? OOOOOOOOHHHHHH FUCK I KNEW IT OH HELL YEAH ALICE FUCK IT UP ARE THEY GONNA DROW ?? OH NO OKAY DID THEY SURVIVE ???? IS SHARED TRAUMA GONNA SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SKSKSKKS THEY SURVIVED !!!!!!!!! THANK YOU NICK LANG (AGAIN) WAIT HOW DID SHE GET HER PHONE BACK ? OH MADAM IRIS DID GIVE HER PHONE BACK AWWNNNNNNNN ALICE THIS ONE HAD A HAPPY ENDING YAY WELL IG THE OTHER DID TOO BUT NOT FOR THE CHARACTERS WE KNEW
THIS WAS SO GOOD I LOVER STAKID !!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WISHED I WASNT BROKE SO I COULD PAY FOR THE NEXT ONES KSKSKSKSK WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO DO YOUR REACTIONS FOR THE NEXT ONES !!!
I HEARD GREG AND IT WAS CRAIG SKSKKSSK OOPS
*from this part on is reactions from after the show when starkid was answering questions from the chat*
YEEAAH VOTE FOR BIDEN HELL YEAH STARKID
"THE WITCH IN THE WEB" WEBBY ???????? DO WE GET TO SEE HANNAH AGAIN ?????
A THEORY ON TUMBLR FROM REDDIT ON A INSTAGRAM ACC ON YT OH MY GOD SKSKSKSKKS
THE STORIES ARE CANON !!!!!!!!! THEORIES LETS GO GANG
STARKID FANS WHO CAN DONATE TO STARKID PLZ DO I WISH I COULD DONATE TO THESE TALENTED PPL G O D
I WAS CORRECT IT WAS KONK WITH A K
NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE YES!!!!!! WORKING BOYS !!!!
"NICK LANG IS A BOSS"
MARIAH: SAYS FUCK AS ALICE ALSO MARIAH: GEEKED THE *FREAKED* OUT
TIP JAR HAS BEEN OUT FOR 11 YEARS HELL YEAH
HOW TF DO YOU SPELL ZIGGS BTW
OOOHHH THEYRE FAKE THAT MAKES SENSE OK NOT FAKE COMFIRMED BUT PROBABLY FAKE LETS HOPE DEB DIDNT ACTUALLY CHEAT
"WELL I WAS BORN IN 1989" HAHAHAHA
BECKY CLIMBED WHILE RUNNING FROM HER HUSBAND I FEEL LIKE THATS WHAT THATS ABOUT
OH GOODIE I GET TO WATCH THEM LATER IDK WHEN BUT AT LEAST IK SOMEDAY
BLINKY VS WIGGLY
OH CMON NICK I WANTED TO KNOW ;-;
THIS WAS SO NICE I MISSED THEM ;-;
9 notes · View notes
Text
They Never Teach You How to Stop
Rarely do I lack the words to express myself. Perhaps this reflects my failure to maintain my journal consistently throughout 2020. Here goes an honest attempt to capture and document my mental state and the fatigue of Covid, the inertia of this shelter-in-place, the anxiety of this political crisis we face as a nation, the pressure of being a 1L in law school against the backdrop of civil unrest and Justice Ginsburg’s death, coming out - my dad told me he was disappointed -, the possible erosion of my relationship with someone I love, and this feeling of absolute dread and resentment for a system that continuously fails my and future generations (robbing us of a social contract that promised life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness), among many other things I’m too tired to consider. When did we accept a $0 baseline as the American Dream? Oh, to be debt free - free from this punishment for having pursued an education. Stifling the educated to prevent them (myself included) from organizing and mobilizing the masses so we can supplant this system with a better one is the overall objective of the oppressive class (read: Pedagogy of the Oppressed); it’s the conflict between the bourgeois and the proletariat. The proletariat has swallowed the middle class, leaving only the ruling class. I am essentially on autopilot, forcing myself to go through the motions so I can survive another day. I know others join me in this mental gymnastics of unparalleled proportions, one social scientists and medical researchers will soon study and subsequently publish their findings in an attempt to explain the unexplainable. Despite a lack of air circulation, we are breathing history; the constitution, like our societal norms, must adapt accordingly. Judge Barrett: there is no place for originalism. While I seldom admit weakness or an inability to manage life’s curveballs, this series of unfortunate events seems almost too much to bear. 
And yet somehow I continue to find the energy to submit assignments due at 11:59 p.m., write this post at 1:38 a.m., “sleep”, wake at 7 a.m. so I can read and prepare (last minute!) the assigned material leading into my torts or contracts class. I find the energy to text my boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend) so I can attempt to salvage the real and genuine connection we have, cook elaborate meals to find some solace, wrestle with whether or not to hit my yoga mat (I don’t), apply to a fellowship for the school year and summer internships, prepare my dual citizenship paperwork, manage a campaign for two progressive politicians, and listen to music in an attempt to stay sane . . . ~*Queues John Mayer’s “War of My Life” and “Stop This Train”*~ . . . I realize I have to be kinder to myself, give credit where credit is due. I hate feeling self-congratulatory though.
Mostly, I am too afraid of the repercussions if I stop moving at a mile/minute, that I can just work away the pain and be the superhuman who numbs himself from the low-grade depression and nervous breakdown. My body tells me to slow down, as evidenced by the grinding of my teeth, but I take on more responsibility because people rely on me. I must show up. I am a masochist in that way. This is what I signed up for and I’ll be damned if I don’t carry through on my promise to do the work. Pieces of my soul scattered about like Horcruxes, though they’re pure, not evil, so I hope nobody resolves to destroy them. 
My mind rarely rests. It’s 3:08 a.m., one of the lonelier hours where night meets morning; it’s the hour for and of intense introspection. It makes you consider pulling an all-nighter, one you reserve for an “important” school or work deadline. We always put our personal lives on the back-burner. 3 a.m. sets the tone for a potentially awful day. But that doesn’t matter right now. I’m letting some of my favorite albums play in the background: Joni Mitchell’s Blue, Mac Miller’s Circles, Rhye’s Blood, Alicia Keys’ ALICIA, Coldplay’s Ghost Stories, Frank Ocean’s Blonde, Miley Cyrus’ Dead Petz in addition to other playlists, Tiny Desk performances, and tracks (I unearthed last week, like When It’s Over by Sugar Ray). I need to feel something. I need to feel anything. I need to feel everything. We experience such a broad spectrum of emotions throughout the day that we lose track of if we don’t pause to absorb them. Music reinforces empathy; it releases dopamine.
I spent the past two hours reading through old journals and posts, as scattered as they were, on a wide range of topics: poems I had written about falling in and out love, anecdotes about my world travels, and entries on personal, political, and professional epiphanies. The other night I found one of my favorites, a previous post from my time living in Indonesia, centering on the dualities of technology. It resonated with me more than the others. To summarize, I wrote about my tendency to equate the Internet with a sense of interconnectedness (shoutout to Tumblr for being my digital journal; to Twitter for being a place of comedy and revolution; to Instagram for curating my *aesthetic*; to Facebook where I track my family’s accomplishments and connect with travel buddies displaced around the globe all searching for a home). And yet I feel incredibly lonely and disconnected whenever I spend too much time using technology, so much so that I set screen time limitations on my phone recently to curtail this obsession with constant communication and information gathering. Trump and Biden admitted that it’s unlikely we’ll know the results of the election on November 3rd during their first presidential debate. Push notifications don’t allow us to learn of trauma within the comforts of our own homes. I’m already fearing where I will be when that news breaks. 
This global pandemic and indefinite shutdown of the world (economy) undeniably exacerbates these feelings. This is some personal and collective turmoil. But I was complicit in the endless scrolling and swiping of faces and places long before Covid-19. Instead of choosing to interact with my direct environment (today’s research links this behavior to the same levels of depression one feels when they play slot machines), I am still an active on all these platforms, participating the least in the most tangible one: my physical life. I am tired of pretending. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of embodying fake energy to exist in systems that fail me. I am tired of the quagmire. Like Anaïs Nin, I must be a mermaid [because] I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living. This particular excerpt from that 2016 entry was difficult for me to read: “The fantasy of what could have been if a certain plan had unfolded will haunt you forever if you do not come to peace with the reality of the situation. I hope you come to terms with reality.” I am not at peace with my current reality. But is anyone?
It’s a bit surreal for my peers to have suddenly started caring about international relations theory. It’s transported me back to my 2012 IR lecture at Northeastern: are you a constructivist or a feminist? Realist or liberalist? Neo? Marxist? The one no one wants you to talk about. Absent upward mobility, this is class warfare. But I cannot be “a singular expression of myself . . . there are too many parts, too many spaces, too many manifestations, too many lines, too many curves, too many troubles, too many journeys, too many mountains, too many rivers” . . . It feels like America’s wake-up call. But I know people will retreat into the comforts of capitalism if Biden wins and, well, we all enter uncharted waters together if the Electoral College re-elects #45. For those who weren’t paying attention: the world is multipolar and we are not the hegemon. Norms matter. People tend to be self-interested and shortsighted. Look to the past in order to understand the future. History, as the old adage goes, repeats itself. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Taxation without representation. Indoctrination. Welcome to the language of political discourse. Students of IR and polisci have long awaited your participation. Too little too late? Plot twist: it’s a lifelong commitment. You must continue to engage irrespective of the election outcome or else we will regress just as quickly as we progress. Now dive into international human rights treaties (International Covenant on Civil & Political Rights; International Covenant on Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights), political refugees, FGM. No one said it wasn’t dismal. But it’s important. We need buy-in.  
While I am grateful for the continuation of my education, for this extended time with family, for this opportunity to be a campaign manager for two local progressive candidates (driving to Boston to pick up revised yard signs as proof that the work never stops), it would be remiss of me, however, not to admit that I am lonely: I am buried in my books, in the depressing news both nationally and globally, and in precedent-setting Supreme Court cases (sometimes for the worst, e.g. against the preservation of our environment). In my nonexistent free time I work on political asylum cases, essentially creating an enforceability framework of international law, for people fleeing country conditions so unthinkable (the irony of that work when my country falls greater into authoritarianism and oligarchy is not lost on me). I am fulfilling my dream of becoming a human rights lawyer which stems back to middle school. I saw Things I Imagined (thank you Solange). I have held an original copy of the Declaration of Independence that we sent to the House of Lords in 1778 and the Human Rights Act of 1998 while visiting the U.K. Parliamentary Archives as an intern for a Member of Parliament. This success terrifies and exhausts me; it also oxygenizes and saves me. Every decision, every sacrifice, has led me to this point. 
“It’s the choosing that’s important, isn’t it?,” Lois Lowry of The Giver rhetorically asks. This post is not intended to be woe is me! I am fortunate to be in this position, to have this vantage point at such an early age, and I understand the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. My life has purpose. I am committed to the work that transcends boundaries; it is larger than life itself. It provides a unique perspective. But it makes it difficult to coexist with people so preoccupied in the drama they create in their lives and the general shallowness of the world we live. It feels like there is no option to pump the brakes on any of this work, especially in light of our current climate, and that pressure oftentimes feels insurmountable. Time is of the essence. It feels, whether true or not, that hardly anyone relates to my experience, so if I don’t carve out this time to write about it, then I am neither recording nor processing it. 
Tonight, in between preparing tomorrow’s coursework, I realize that I have an unprecedented number of questions about life, which startles me because typically I have the answers or at least have a goal in mind that launches me into the next phase of life or contextualizes the current one. These goals, often rooted in this capitalistic framework, in this falsity of “needing” to advance my career as a means of helping people, distract me from asking myself the existential questions, the reasons for why we live and what we fundamentally want our systems to look like; they have distracted me from real grassroots community organizing until now. They distract me from the fact that, like John Mayer, I don’t know which walls to smash; similarly, I don’t know which train to board. Right now feels like we are living through impossible and hopeless times and I don’t want to placate myself into thinking otherwise despite my relatively optimistic outlook on life. As we face catastrophic circumstances – the consequences of this election and climate change (famine, refugees, lack of resources) – I do not want to live in perpetual sadness. I am searching for clarity and direction so I can step into a better, fuller version of myself. 
It’s now 3:33 a.m. Here is the list of questions that I have often asked myself in different stages of life, but recently, until now, I have not been willing to confront for fear that I might not be able to answers them. But I owe it to myself to pose them here so I can have the overdue conversation, the one I know leads me to better understanding myself:
Are you happy? Why or why not?
What do you want the future to hold? What groundwork are you going to do to ensure it happens?
What does your ideal day/week/month/year/decade look like? Why?
With whom do you want to spend your days? Why?
Who do you love and care about? Have you told people you care about that you love them? Does love and vulnerability scare you?
What do you expect of people – of yourself, of your partner, of your family, and of your friends? Should you have those expectations? Why or why not?
What do you feel and why?
What relaxes you? What scares you? What brings you joy?
What do you want to improve? Why?
What do you want to forgive yourself for and why?
Does the desire to reinvent yourself diminish your ability to be present?
Do you have a greater fear of failure or success? Why?
How do you escape the confines of this broken system? How do you break from the guilt of participation in it and having benefited from it?
How do we reconcile our daily lives with the fact that we’re living through an extinction event? This one comes from my friend (hi Jeanne) and a podcast she listened to recently.
How do you help people? How do you help yourself? Are you pouring from an empty cup?
How will you find joy in your everyday responsibilities, in the mission you have chosen for yourself? What, if any, will be the warning signs to walk away from this work, in part or in its entirety? Without being a martyr, do you believe in dying for the cause?
So here are some of the lessons I have learned during this quarantine/past year:
“I’ve Got Dreams to Remember,” so do not take your eyes off them. Chasing paper does not bring you happiness.
Be autonomous, particularly in your professional life.
Focus on values instead of accolades.
Do everything with intention and honest energy.
Listen to Tracy Chapman’s “Crossroads” & Talkin’ Bout a Revolution for an energy boost and reminder that other revolutionaries have shared and continue to share your fervent passion . . . “I’m trying to protect what I keep inside, all the reasons why I live my life” . . . When self-doubt nearly cripples you and you yearn a few minutes to run away when in reality you can’t escape your responsibilities, go for a drive and queue up “Fast Car” . . . “I got no plans, I ain’t going nowhere, so take your fast car and keep on driving.”
With that said, take every opportunity to travel (you can take the work with you if absolutely necessary). Go to Italy. Buy the concert ticket and lose yourself in the moment. Remember that solo excursions are equally as important as collective ones. But, from personal experience, you prefer the company. Find the balance.
Detach from the numbers people keep trying to assign to measure your personhood.
Closely examine the people in your inner circle and ask them for help when you need it.
“And life is just too short to keep playing the game . . . because if you really want somebody [or something], you’ll figure it out later, or else you will just spend the rest of the night with a BlackBerry on your chest hoping it goes *vibration, vibration*” (John Mayer’s Edge of Desire) . . . so love fiercely and unapologetically.
Be specific.
Go to therapy even when life is good.
8 notes · View notes
quinnmorgendorffer · 3 years
Text
because i need to get this out here somehow...hopefully the cut works so you guys don’t feel obligated to read this lol
church was always a part of my life growing up, i know i’ve talked about it on here before. i know i’ve mentioned getting “saved” at recess and going to church lock-ins. i’ve mentioned missing some of the christmas traditions our church did, like ending on “silent night” in only a candle-lit worship hall. but religion has just a much heavier part of my life than i’ve talked about.
my family wasn’t always the best in attendance until i was around nine. to quote arrested development “i don’t want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn’t help.” but actually, yeah, i blame it all on 9/11. we went to a vigil the night of the attacks and suddenly every sunday my sisters and i were woken up to go to church.
i didn’t mind all of it. i liked being an acolyte when i was one on the first or last sunday of the month - first sunday was communion, which we helped with, and the last sunday was the “noisy offering”, where we went around with buckets to collect change for one charity or another. i liked singing in the children’s choir. i never cared for the sunday school or youth group stuff as i grew older and people i enjoyed hanging out with in my age group left our church to join different ones for various reasons. my parents had to deal with the multiple youth pastors we had over the years telling me and my sisters that, basically, believing in evolution was a sin. my parents were NOT okay with that since they, you know, actually believe in science.
i don’t regret all my time in church, though, if only for the music. i still love and miss the songs. it’s how i got my first solos, where i got to test performances at the annual variety show. i had a really bad relationship with my high school’s choir director, but i could always count on getting compliments and praise and love from my church community every time i sang. it was something that really kept me going when i felt very untalented.
when i was 13, i got to join the adult choir because the music minister thought i was good enough, which i was so proud of, because normally you had to be in high school before you could join, but i was asked early. and i even got to sing the soprano solo in fauré’s requiem, my first ever classical solo (which is funny to look back on now seeing as my voice is nowhere light enough to do that piece lol anymore lol). i would practice with the children’s choir every hour on wednesdays, then wait the half hour for the adult choir practice. the children’s choir didn’t perform every week, but the adults did, and we used to do two services every sunday, so i’d wake up early to sing at the first one, go to sunday school, and then go to the second service, where we would normally leave before the sermon started. eventually we went down to just one service (no pun intended but thank GOD for that). eventually i was asked to be the song leader for at least three years of vbs (vacation bible school, a summer camp for kids, normally some over-the-top story being taught through videos). i may have been asked/done more, i can’t remember for sure. 
outside of church, my family wasn’t super religious - most of us, most of the time. my dad still had some hang-ups about gay marriage due to what i have to say is religion, because i don’t think there was any other reason. we’d say grace whenever my grandfather came over for dinner, and sometimes during our own bigger meals when he wasn’t there. it used to be a thing with my sisters (and my mom, i think?) when we’d go to bed that we’d say something about “don’t forget to say your prayers”. oh and at one point, when my sister and i expressed a desire to not go to church, my dad said he was worried we’d go to hell. that was fun. 
all of this to say that.....i remember doubting a belief in god a lot. as i’ve grown older, i still haven’t been able to figure out my beliefs. i find it hard to believe there’s a god when there’s all this suffering, but i also find it, well, depressing to think that there ISN’T a god. i feel like it’s not “smart” to believe in god, at least not Christianity, but i’m afraid i’ll go to hell if i even speak that thought out loud. i’ve found comfort in prayer.....
......except, over the years, i’ve developed a bit of an ocd-style relationship with prayer. i’m terrified of flying, enough so i got a prescription from ativan just to help. and though it can knock me out, i always have to say prayers while the plane is taking off, or else i *know* i’ll die/we’ll crash/everyone on the plane will die. because somehow it’s all my fault, you know? it doesn’t leave me calm at all, but it makes me feel like i have SOME control over things. i’ll say my prayers during bad turbulence, too, any time we shake at all.
and i don’t know when i got back in the habit of saying my prayers at night, but i’ve been trying to prayer every night since covid hit. i’m sure i was praying again before that, too. they’re all silent and in my bed, no kneeling or anything. if it isn’t clear yet, i was raised in the united methodist church, so i was taught that we had a friendly relationship with god and could talk to him whenever. very much unlike how i’ve seen all my catholic friends talk about their upbringings. but i always do a silent prayer and then the lord’s prayer, just like how my church would do it.
and, again, it’s been a compulsive thing where i’ll start saying things in a certain order and HAVE to say them in a certain order with a certain wording, some of which i’ve kept since childhood. sometimes i’m spending several minutes just trying to get through everything because i’m falling asleep since it’s so late and i keep drifting off and i feel like i have to start over or something will go wrong. 
i prayed so hard for joe biden to win. i’m still praying he can get power peacefully. i pray for the covid vaccine. and i spent the most time every night praying that my family, friends, and loved ones don’t get covid. i specifically list my family members, i try to bring up every group of friends - friends from school, theater, the internet, my rocky group, music, opera, etc. - and pull out specific friends who i worry about the most for various reasons and try to remember to pray for their families, too. i pray for my voice teacher and her family. and for everyone i single out, i have to have a reason for why they’re singled out. i pray for my roommate and her family, and then lastly i pray for myself, and always add that if i get it, my roommate will most definitely get it and vice versa.
so all of this is just to say that my faith has turned from any semblance of faith to something i think i’m holding onto just from anxiety. and i hate this jaded dumb story that they do on sitcoms and the like, that someone’s prayers wren’t answered so they don’t believe in god. that’s not my only reason, of course, but having my sister get sick with something she may not survive has led to me feeling this dumb guilt, like i didn’t pray hard enough, that i was falling asleep during prayers, that i wasn’t being a good christian. and i know it’s not true, but it’s how i feel and i hate myself for even trying to take any blame on top of it and i’m just a mess and i’m so scared.
4 notes · View notes
newstfionline · 3 years
Text
Tuesday, February 2, 2021
Difficult Times for Flight Attendants (NYT) One flight attendant needed medical attention for a crippling migraine brought on by confronting a passenger who refused to wear a mask. Aviation safety officials have received dozens of confidential complaints in the past year from attendants trying to enforce mask safety rules. The reports, filed in the Aviation Safety Reporting System database, at times describe a chaotic, unhinged workplace where passengers regularly abuse airline employees. The coronavirus pandemic and political divisions of the past year have caused fear, economic pain, and social and family rifts around the country, but for airline workers, and flight attendants in particular, the unease and tension have often converged in a tiny cabin space. The tension is at a level flight attendants have not seen before, said Paul Hartshorn Jr., a veteran attendant and a spokesman for the Association of Professional Flight Attendants union. “I think we’re pretty well trained on how to handle a disruptive passenger,” said Mr. Hartshorn, 46. “What we’re not trained to do and what we shouldn’t be dealing with is large groups of passengers inciting a riot with another group of passengers [over political differences].” “It’s insane,” he added.
Fight The Man: What GameStop’s surge says about online mobs (AP) It’s a fable for our times: Small-time investors band together to take down greedy Wall Street hedge funds using the stock of a troubled video-game store. But the revolt of online stock-traders suggests much more. The internet is shifting society’s balance of power in unanticipated ways. In the world of pseudonymous internet message boards, pranks-gone-wild and logic turned upside down amid a global pandemic, revolts come in all shapes, sizes and aims. Last week they gave us the Great GameStop Stock Uprising. Who knows what this week will bring. “The internet can democratize access, upsetting power dynamics between the people and traditional institutions,” tweeted Tiffany C. Li, a law professor and tech attorney focusing on privacy and technology platform governance. With GameStop, she added in an interview Friday, the goal was to upset the interests of a few large hedge funds. “But in other places the goal can be more nefarious. Online spaces are being used to radicalize people toward extremism, to plan hate crimes and attacks,” she said. “The internet isn’t really the villain or the hero.”
Pandemic Pushes More Parents to Go All-In for Home Schooling (WSJ) As parents grow increasingly frustrated with remote learning during the pandemic, some are deciding to pull their children out of school and try teaching on their own. In North Carolina, the state’s home-school monitoring website crashed on the first day of enrollment, and more than 18,800 families filed to operate a home-school from July 1 to Jan. 22—more than double the school-year before, according to the state Division of Non-Public Education. In Connecticut, the number of students who left public schools to be home-schooled jumped fivefold this school year, to 3,500. In Nebraska, the number of home-schooled students jumped 56%, to 13,426, according to state education officials. “The vast majority [of parents] are saying, ‘We’ve been really trying to do what the schools are asking us to do, but we just can’t do this anymore,’ “ said J. Allen Weston, executive director of the National Home School Association, which has been fielding inquiries on the topic. Vanderbilt University’s Joseph Murphy, who studies home schooling, said “We are in a major shift from how we thought about teaching children and running schools for 100 years. Parents have shifted to the place where they feel they need more direct involvement and greater responsibility for what happens with their children.”
Vaccine skepticism lurks in town famous for syphilis study (AP) Lucenia Dunn spent the early days of the coronavirus pandemic encouraging people to wear masks and keep a safe distance from each other in Tuskegee, a mostly Black city where the government once used unsuspecting African American men as guinea pigs in a study of a sexually transmitted disease. Now, the onetime mayor of the town immortalized as the home of the infamous “Tuskegee syphilis study” is wary of getting inoculated against COVID-19. Among other things, she’s suspicious of the government promoting a vaccine that was developed in record time when it can’t seem to conduct adequate virus testing or consistently provide quality rural health care. “I’m not doing this vaccine right now. That doesn’t mean I’m never going to do it. But I know enough to withhold getting it until we see all that is involved,” said Dunn, who is Black. The coronavirus immunization campaign is off to a shaky start in Tuskegee and other parts of Macon County. Area leaders point to a resistance among residents spurred by a distrust of government promises and decades of failed health programs. Tuskegee is not a complete outlier. A recent survey conducted by the communications firm Edelman revealed that as of November, only 59% of people in the U.S. were willing to get vaccinated within a year with just 33% happy to do so as soon as possible. Health experts have stressed both the vaccines’ safety and efficacy.
As Biden prays for healing, Catholics clash over president’s faith (GMA) On his quest to heal a divided America, Joe Biden may first have to confront bitter division over his presidency from within his own church. Since his inauguration two weeks ago as the nation’s second Catholic president, Biden’s devout Christian faith has become a new flashpoint within the church. While millions of Catholics have celebrated the ascension of one of their own to the White House, some have been publicly questioning whether Biden should be considered a model of their faith. Many Catholic clergy and faithful are passionately fixated on Biden’s support for abortion rights, which the church staunchly opposes and considers an issue of “preeminent” importance. Biden opposes abortion as a personal matter, but wrote in his 2007 memoir that he doesn’t “have a right to impose my view on the rest of society.” One in five Americans identifies as Roman Catholic, the largest Christian denomination in the U.S., according to Pew Research Center. While the faithful have long been divided in matters of theology and politics, Catholic values aren’t exclusively red or blue.
Russia Protesters Defy Vast Police Operation as Signs of Kremlin Anxiety Mount (NYT) The Kremlin mounted Russia’s most fearsome nationwide police operation in recent memory on Sunday, seeking to overwhelm a protest movement backing the jailed opposition leader Aleksei A. Navalny that swept across the country for a second weekend in a row. But the show of force—including closed subway stations, thousands of arrests and often brutal tactics—failed to smother the unrest. By late Sunday evening in Moscow, more than 5,000 people had been detained in at least 85 cities across Russia, an activist group reported, though many were later released. Previously unseen numbers of riot police officers in black helmets, camouflage and body armor essentially locked down the center of the metropolis of 13 million people, stopping passers-by miles from the protest to check their documents and ask what they were doing outside. “I don’t understand what they’re afraid of,” a protester named Anastasia Kuzmina, a 25-year-old account manager at an advertising agency, said of the police. Referring to the peak year of Stalin’s mass repression, she added, “It’s like we’re slipping into 1937.” The large-scale police response signaled anxiety in the Kremlin over Mr. Navalny’s ability to unite Russia’s disparate critics of President Vladimir V. Putin, from nationalists to liberals to many with no particular ideology at all.
In Myanmar coup, Suu Kyi’s ouster heralds return to military rule (Washington Post) Aung San Suu Kyi defended Myanmar’s generals against genocide charges at The Hague. She praised soldiers as they unleashed artillery against ethnic minority settlements. She took only modest steps toward democratic changes that would chip away at the army’s political power. It wasn’t enough. On Monday, Myanmar’s military seized power in a coup, detaining Suu Kyi, elected ministers from her National League for Democracy (NLD) party and others in a predawn raid. Though condemned internationally for defending the military and its campaign against the Rohingya minority, the Nobel Peace Prize laureate who spent 15 years under house arrest until 2010 now finds herself again at the generals’ mercy. The coup underscored the fragility of Myanmar’s decade-old, quasi-democratic transition that many assumed, despite imperfections, would continue with Suu Kyi as head of the civilian government and still-entrenched powers for the military, led by Min Aung Hlaing. But the military was never comfortable with its enduring unpopularity and Suu Kyi’s godlike status among ordinary Burmese, analysts said, despite its role in engineering the country’s opening after half a century of isolationist rule.
Survivors of Beirut’s explosion endure psychological scars (AP) Joana Dagher lay unconscious and hemorrhaging under a pile of rubble in her apartment after the massive Beirut port blast in August, on the brink of death. She survived because of the courage of her husband who got her out, the kindness of a stranger who transported her in his damaged car and the help of her sisters during the chaos at the overwhelmed hospital. But Dagher doesn’t remember any of that: The 33-year-old mother of two lost her memory for two full months from the trauma she suffered in the explosion, including a cerebral contusion and brain lesions. “I lost my life on August 4,” Dagher said. “I lost my house, I lost my memory, I lost two friends,” she added, referring to neighbors killed in the explosion. “I lost my mental health, and so I lost everything.”       The Beirut explosion, which killed more than 200 people and injured more than 6,000, caused wounds on an even wider scale on the mental health of those who lived through it. Even in a country that has seen many wars and bombings, never had so many people—tens of thousands—directly experienced the same traumatizing event at the same time. It came on top of the stress that Lebanese were already feeling from multiple crises, including an unprecedented economic meltdown, the coronavirus pandemic and a feeling of helplessness after nationwide protests against corruption that failed to achieve their goals. “There are very high levels of anxiety and worry across the population,” said Mia Atwi, psychologist and president of Embrace, an organization working on mental health awareness and support. “There is a low mood bordering on clinical depression for the majority of the population.”
2 notes · View notes
aalt-ctrl-del · 4 years
Text
there is a certain map that people are trying to pass around. I do want to talk about the material involved, without directing peoples attention to the map in question. I follow closely the numbers and data, and I believe in the integrity of the election - I also don’t want donald joke to get ahold of the map, because can you imagine this dumbass? With a map? He can’t read?
And rudy gilligan getting lost and not finding the friends he made along the journey? It’s such a shit storm.
ANYWAY. This map has to deal with tracking human behavior, and trends. Stuff that I love to get involved with. The problem though, the map is being misused. I did read a few articles about the application and I watched a tutorial on youtube, UNFORTUNATELY the individual explaining the map left out some very crucial details.
This algorithm that was being paraded around like a game changer, has a potential for failure. I wasn’t even testing for that. But this failure that can devalue the algorithm of the map, is telling. To indirectly paraphrase a segment, an external factor can deviate the data. In other words, this map which is based on human behavior and determining not great factors, can be disrupted by a force that was not anticipated. A deviation from the norm. I wonder what sort of deviation from the norm could have driven millions of people to vote in the 2020 election? It’s a mystery.
But I am not studying this material because I am looking for faults in its use, I am exploring the claims for the sake of validation. Also, it is very interesting. Also, very creepy that we follow patterns like this, and they can be used to track behavior. This isn’t news to me, as I use similar tools to track human behavior for my marketing studies.
This is a point of reference to review, and I talk a lot about how out of the ordinary this election is. How it has pressed people beyond their comfort zone, and how we have charts on our computers nearly every day to calculate cases and deaths. And the coping sites. They don’t help, but that’s a resource that is there.
But lemme go ahead and rant more about this map trump supporters have fallen in love with. One factor that does support it, is the fact that trump supporters are very easy to read. We know their behavior types, their VALs, and we know the colors they wear - literally. We knew from the beginning that despite a pandemic, trump supporters would go out on that day Nov 3, to vote for a racist, homophobe, that has no interest in assisting states with a national crisis. The numbers hold true, and outline who they are in a nice bow. There is no dispute here, that this map can follow the behavior patterns of a like minded group of people. No shock, sherlock.
Now let’s look at president-elect Biden, and his people. We are not all the same, we are not data that can be measured easily - we have conflicting views, many of us don’t even like President-elect Biden. We have varied ideals and interests, some of us even vote third party every election just to do it. Yet this time, we made a compromise, in large numbers. Thousands of young voters made certain to register for the first time in their lives, thousands of middle aged voters said, “too heck” and registered to vote, for the first time in their lives. Hundreds of us voted early, some of us voted absentee because there is a deadly pandemic on the loose, while others didn’t feel like risk losing their vote, and went out to vote that night November 3 despite fears.
There is also the Senate seats, that people always seem to forget. Yuck.
Alas, I am not saying that my rational is not indisputable, I am merely indicating a flaw in the mindset that the data is immovable or static. I went through the politico website scrutinizing the data for Pennsylvania there, the differences to President-elect Biden and trump. The statistics are very promising and within the margin of reason - I predominately check the results with Biden’s wins because those are the areas of.... distrust. How dare Biden get voters. How unsightly.
 Anyway, I ran calculations between the votes both candidates (primarily in Pennsylvania because everyone hates that state rn for some reason) accumulated, and subtracted that from a population count of the county area. You know what I found? The differences between Biden and trump appear accurate and within the realm of belief - given that some people were minors and couldn’t register to vote, and others may have been non-citizens or didn’t register at all to vote. In some areas of Pennsylvania, there didn’t appear to be a great urgency to vote or no one gave a damn.
I thought to myself, “well, the census is outdated, maybe a lot of people... died?” Morbid as that is, it’s not an unrealistic mindset in 2020, is it? But no, I went back and checked the covid maps and evaluated the cases to death ratio here’s the link. Not a lot of cases given the documented population of 269K, from an estimated 68K and 66K between the two candidates - a rough 135K didn’t go out to vote. So that does describe an area of low morale for voting, no urgency.
However, there is a distinct trend in areas of high population, and the areas where covid has done harsh damage to the population. In these areas, the typical trend did see more vote turnout for President-elect Biden. It’s not always-always the case, but it does occur with high frequency. Metropolitan areas especially, saw a high turnout of voters supporting Biden. People that believe the virus is real, and acknowledge we need to do something other than wait for it to “go away.”
But the data supplemented to the map, are not conclusive or easy to support. The map has potential to fail, and it does so when there is an outside intervention which alters the typical behavior of a person or group of people. Yes, it can be used to detect crimes, and to follow the typical trends and patterns in human behavior, but it is difficult if not impossible to correlate the typical trends to a historic event which has affected millions at this point. How are we able to use malicious information and call our current climate natural? Nothing currently is natural, many of us are barely surviving, many of our people are unemployed, many of us have lost loved ones or have been isolated from family due to safety concerns.
Why is it people who support trump seem to come down to the mindset, everything is totally normal today? How are they able to function in normal society, and how many people have they slain in their negligence?
It is horrendous that people try to latch onto a data calculating map, and call it “very telling”, while the rest of the normal people are trying to decipher if todays a safe day to go shopping for groceries. It’s outlandish that people are out here insisting that the covid does not exist, and btw, why the hell did everyone decide to go out and vote this time? It’s weird. Nothing is right.
2 notes · View notes
arcticdementor · 3 years
Link
Perhaps it’s because we have been discussing this moment for over a decade; or perhaps it’s because we’ve already chosen our tribe amid this league of crazy; or perhaps it’s just because we don’t like ‘them’ in the first place; but whatever it is, this announcement today by the White House to cleave society into vaxxed -vs- non-vaxxed status is actually a little funny.  Good luck with it.
Eyes of a mouse. Ears of an elephant. Heart of a lion, and the mindset of an insurgent.
I have serious doubts that only 80 million Americans are unvaccinated, but fair enough; if that’s your number, okay then.  However, consider this….  Assuming we are the minority group, the non-vaxxed crew breaks down into two broad segments: (1) The extremely well-educated who carry commonsense and are in a social strata where they remain quiet about it; and (2) The skeptical productive class of similarly disposed commonsense blue-collar workers who are the backbone of American productivity.
The comfortable existence for the rest of “polite society” is dependent on the scruffneck working class, the dirty fingernail folk who know what Lava soap feels like, and the industrious service sector workforce who fulfill the needs of those who hold out their pinky fingers when they drink from a glass.
If this non-vaccinated ‘minority group’ stops fulfilling the needs of the vaccinated ‘betters’, guess what happens?
Additionally, if the non-vaccinated minority begin following the COVID rules with extreme compliance, the entire system doesn’t function.  Whoops, I cannot enter a federal property because I am not vaccinated {{{shrugs shoulders}}}.  Okay, I’ll leave the pizzas on the sidewalk, enjoy.
The ramifications of extreme compliance are very far-reaching, and we are snarky enough in our skills as non-vaccinated insurgents to know exactly how to best play the role of being as stupid as you say we are.  Oh damn, did I forget to tighten that oil filter… sheesh, whoops.  If only I was as smart as one of you vaccinated types these mistakes wouldn’t happen.
Cleaving society ain’t necessarily a bad thing when my tribe wants nothing to do with you in the first place.
When the SHTF (sh!t hits the fan), these ruling elite types, and those who look down their noses at the unwashed WalMart shoppers, are the first culled by natural selection because they cannot function in a world where their basic needs are not serviced by others.
Block my tribe out of your social or economic system because we refuse to put untested secret chemicals in our veins, and it ain’t us that’s losing – just sayin’.  We know how to adapt, survive and create another parallel economy that will work just fine.  We can live without them; however, they cannot live without our assistance – and that’s the stark reality of it.
Do what is in the best interest of your faith, your family and your community.  Losing your peace of mind is not part of that equation.
Chin up folks, this announcement by Joe Biden is a Hail Mary reflecting just how desperate they are.
You are, in this moment, exactly who you were yesterday.  Don’t take any ownership of anything put upon you.  Additionally, look around, and do not do anything to support COVID compliance operators in any area of your local society.
Live bigly and organize your personal life for maximum freedom.   Keep the mindset of an insurgent, and do not allow them to steal your peace of mind.
1 note · View note