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absynthe--minded · 4 years

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opinions on the recent russingon meta? tbh i love russingon, i love black fingon headcanons, but i do agree that it's a little weird when fingon gets totally sidelined in fics as just Maedhros' Emotional Growth or the Black Nanny. i mean, russingon really lends itself to hurt/comfort, which is fine, but i think ppl sometimes neglect fingon's arc. thoughts as a russingon writer? (no accusations, love your work, but wanted your perspective on other ppls russingon works)

(Wow this got long, lol.

Full disclosure - I haven’t read the recent Russingon meta, or offered any substantial response to it. Quite a lot of people I know have, but I’ve not had the time and my brain hasn’t been cooperating with me to read large chunks of text over the last couple of days. I have opinions on your ask as I’m seeing it now, and that’s what I’ll be responding to. I’m also not black, though I’m not white either - my ethnic group is one that has troubling stereotypes associated with it of caring for white people/acting as sage dispensers of advice/etc, but I can’t speak to the breadth and depth of the black experience when it comes to being a ‘black nanny’ in fiction, and I’m not going to try to.)

So, Fingon being a cardboard cutout/emotional support animal for Maedhros and Fingon being perceived as black by large portions of the fandom are two things that arose completely independently of one another. Fingon being Maedhros’s support animal is a trope as old as Russingon itself, and possibly is as old as the published Silm itself. I’ve read Russingon fics that were almost as old as I am, Russingon fics published last week, Russingon fics that vilified the Nolofinwëans, and Russingon fics from the turn of the 21st century when the Fëanorians were seen as uncomplicated villains. Fingon being a cardboard cutout is ubiquitous through all of them. It doesn’t matter how old the fic is, it’s basically guaranteed.

The reason for this is that Maedhros is far and away the most popular character in the Silmarillion, and his pain and angst and mental strife and trauma are front and center in many writers’ lists of priorities. If it’s not Fingon propping him up, it’s Maglor, or another brother, or an OC - this is a very common genre of Silm fic and it’s not limited to Russingon.

But.

This is my least favorite Russingon trope and it’s the entire reason I’m writing Blessed Hands and why all my Russingon fics are at least majority-Fingon POV. I can’t fucking stand it, and it completely kills my interest in a story. I’m super picky with my Russingon fics because of this trope, and because of its ubiquity, and I’ve talked about it on my blog many times before. For me to love a Russingon fic, it has to be about how they anchor and support one another, and how their mutual and equal investment in their relationship is the foundation of their lives. This trope’s not nearly as common as it used to be, thank Eru, but it’s still around, and I cannot talk enough about how I Hate It, lol. It’s also old enough and omnipresent enough that the majority of fics feature it, and - interestingly - the majority of fics also feature white Fingon.

Alongside this, Black Fingon arose out of a non-Russingon intracommunity discussion among the artists of the Silm fandom, in about 2013. I saw this play out in real time on my dash, and so while I can’t source posts reliably, I can promise this is as accurate as I can make it.

The paradigm shift came as a result of content creators realizing that several of their number weren’t white, and quite a few people in the fandom weren’t white, and yet 100% of art and fics featured white elves with zero real diversity (and a number of very troubling, somewhat stereotypical older illustrations of Men as the only significant examples of people of color in Middle-Earth). There was concern as to why this was being accepted as the norm when there was ample opportunity for representing both one’s own ethnicity and other people of color (and a lot of concern about unexamined racism in white artists who found themselves unable, for various reasons, to picture heroic elves as anything but fair-skinned) and the general consensus was that we had more consistent information from HoME draft to HoME draft about hair color than skin tone, so why were we all picturing our heroes as white?

Fingon in particular was headcanoned as black due to a discovery by a fan (whose URL escapes me, sadly) who I’m certain was black themself. There’s a passage in The Peoples of Middle-Earth describing Fingon as wearing his hair in plaits braided through with gold, and this fan made the comparison to hairstyles worn by IRL black people. The idea was that he was the most uncomplicatedly brave, heroic, and noble person in the Silm, and look, he could be a man of color! There was also a sort of gentleman’s agreement to refrain from making explicit connections beyond that to real human ethnic groups/cultures/races. The logic behind this was that if the generic Eurofantasy aesthetic was kept, white artists would be encouraged to draw diverse elves without concern for cultural appropriation, as well as steering racists away from caricature and the ability to twist a well-meaning effort into a stereotypical attack.

When these ideas first emerged, there was a lot of resistance. Arguments were made that those of us who advocated for diverse elves and specifically black Fingon were discreetly accusing other artists of being racist, or were acting purposefully holier-than-thou, or just wanted to start drama. There were some people who claimed we’d attack anyone who didn’t agree with us that elves were brown. This was an exhausting mess to deal with and it was a major part of my disillusionment with discussing racism in the Tolkien fandom - the majority of voices were reasonable people but the minority was loud and obnoxious. I bring this up to say that diverse elves were genuinely progressive and forward-looking in 2013, even when it was more or less explicitly stated that they had no real ties to existing human races and they had no change to their characters.

Black Fingon, agreed upon outside the Russingon fandom, and Fingon the cardboard cutout, the most reliably present version of Fingon in Russingon fic, sort of ran into one another. No real change was ever made to Finno’s character upon making him black - this would have been seen at the time as unnecessary because his character was just fine as-is, and the whole point was that he could be exactly as he’d been before and be black or brown, that men of color had the exact same range of emotion and depth of character that he did when he was perceived as white.

The problem is that there hasn’t been much examination of the idea that Fingon being a black man who exists to prop up a white man is uh. Really racist and kind of fraught.

All I have to say really is that this wasn’t a conscious decision by anyone to be racist - the opposite, actually. As I mentioned above I can’t speak for black people, or for other BIPOC, but my opinion is that it’s an unfortunate and unconscious choice that has nothing to do with Fingon’s race and everything to do with the fact that his character has been seriously neglected for decades now. It opens the door to a lot of really frustrating tropes and plotlines that smack fans of color in the face with how bigoted they are, and it’s something that I’m glad is being discussed, if only because I’ve been trying to push for a reevaluation of Fingon’s personality and general role for a long time now (though of course I’m also glad that this is actually getting acknowledged as a harmful thing real people now are at risk of doing).

My solution? Same as ever - “write Fingon like a real person with interests and desires and goals of his own, and treat his family like they matter, and flesh out the world he lives in. Listen to people of color if you’re white, educate yourself regardless, and learn to avoid harmful tropes.” If that becomes the fandom norm? I’ll be a happy Absynthe.

#replies #anon replies #RUSSINGON #absynthe's meta

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unnamedelement · 3 years

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even the WORDS studio ghibli steampunk inspired 4th age au is intriguing to me - I’d love to hear more about it!

I am so pleased you asked and I will talk about it forever. Basically, the idea is just something I write on--a paragraph or two here or there--when I'm feeling down and need a pick-me-up, though I haven't done so since May now as I've been so busy! It's set in a 4th Age Middle-earth in which all the basic things are the same, except that the technology advanced slightly differently, as if every major cultural and intellectual hub in history hadn't been wiped out in the first two ages. I mean, they have been, but the ideas were revisited and propagated instead. Which puts us in a bit of a steam era, a bit more modern warfare, I suppose (I imagine it as, like, Legend of Korra equivalent technology, but subtracting the radio broadcasting). I call it Studio Ghibli inspired because, in my head, thats the way its "animated," with similar color palettes to, say, Howls' Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, and Spirited Away. The same sort of observational attention to detail, but not overwrought, and an air of the magical in the every day... It's really just a domestic sort of thing, with an added twist of the Straight Road being shut for purposes that aren't entirely clear to me yet but, somehow, tie into the technological aspect. It, at least, explains to me why the elves are so goddamn committed to technology and Middle-earth in the 4th age, in this universe, in a way that aren't in non-AUs because, well, Tolkien. The lore of this ridiculous sandbox is only very slowly evolving, but giving elves unresolvable sealonging is a certain type of hurt/comfort that is highly attractive to me. Whoops. And it is Legolas- and OC-focused, of course, because that's just who I am as a person. There is also a university in Minas Tirith because I say so, and because I need to project my woes about academia somewhere, but I try to justify this to myself by tying it into that preservation and propogation of knowledge aspect. Anyway, that was way more than you asked for! Ah well. Here is the first scene I ever wrote in this AU, because I've never actually shared it publicly, I don't think. I believe @roselightfairy has been the only one privy to my nonsensical AU drafts thus far! I usually just ramble about it in tags, but you caught me this time, ha. Thanks again for asking!

Legolas twisted the ring on his index finger distractedly as he waited for the train. It had been a long day in Minas Tirith and he was ready to return to Ithilien, to take in the rolling plains that edged the river as they flew past, for it was always only then that he could reflect, in uninterrupted silence, without hobbit tourists at his heels or the accidental shove of an impatient lady in the shops.

There were too many people in Minas Tirith for Legolas. Accordingly, and much to Aragorn and Gimli’s chagrin, it was not his favorite place.

But they understood, and that was all he could ask. He tried to schedule all of the city errands on the same day or two, because longer than thirty-six continuous hours in Minas Tirith and he became an absolute nightmare with which to coexist. For the most part, his friends and family had accepted this and he was trying, after all, but that did not make it any less obnoxious for the rest of them.

It did not help that the only place in Gondor with Sealonging-certified healers was on the fourth level of the city. A wildly insensitive choice, in his opinion, though he kept that perspective well enough to himself after Ithildim and Gimli had tried to advocate, a few years before, for the relocation of the clinic to the Healing Houses on the Sixth, in a string of rejected proposals at City Council.

Gimli would not look at Aragorn for a month after that, and so Legolas had quit his whingeing and suffered in silence the abrupt buffeting that occurred in the busy streets after his appointments. He made it his own prerogative to schedule at the end of the day so he could spend the morning with enough wherewithal to do his errands and take care of whatever sundry things he had managed to commit himself to. It kept him relatively sane and it kept his friends on speaking terms and, so, that is what he did. (And it was not as if any of them had control over the West-way being shut, so there was no point in any of them falling out over it.)

Legolas heard the heavy-huffing of the train approaching long before its lights rounded the bend of the river. He preferred to walk to the stop at the Docks than get on at the Gates because it gave his mind time to settle. Waiting that close to the river after therapy was, perhaps, not his brightest idea, but the pros outweighed the cons and what Ithildim didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

Besides, it was Summer, and the cattails were up again all around the station, and a family of osprey had made the light pole by the river their nest, and it did lift his spirits to watch these things alone as the world moved on about him...

A few more people rushed the small platform as the rumbling of the train on its little steel bridge above the banks increased. Legolas only readjusted his ring, unbuckled the satchel in his lap and rummaged around for the hardtack he had bartered for Ewessel. (She would have no idea how many pieces were there originally—what she didn’t know also wouldn’t hurt her). He was just tugging on the pair of oversized leather earmuffs Gimli had given him a few years prior when he started taking the train routinely when two pairs of very familiar shoes suddenly appeared in his line of sight, and he froze—

There was no point in hurrying—he had been found out so he adjusted his earmuffs and tucked the hardtack into his cheek, noticing vaguely that the sturdier pair of boots were well-shined and dirtless, while the more slender, elvish ones were caked in mud along the edges and splashed up the shins.

He had thought Ithildim was in the Emyn Arnen buildings today. He had seen him head off that way through the trees and he had obviously been there for that was forest mud and yet here he stood with Gimli, clearly just come from their Minas Tirith office so...

He had apparently been wrong. It would not be the first time he had lost track of other people’s schedules.

The train rolled up slowly, then, and Legolas finally looked up from his seat on the bench to find Gimli at eye level—glaring at him with arms crossed—and then, looking further up, was Ithildim—hair neatly pinned back despite his other uncharacteristic untidiness—and he looked down on him with a bemused and mildly irritated expression.

Legolas did his best to offer a guileless smile.

It did not work, and Ithildim pulled him to his feet. “I thought your appointment was at 4(?), auren.”

“It was,” he said, and he shrugged. He was tired and did not want to talk yet. “I prefer walking the plains for an hour or so after, to calm my mind. I did not know you would be here.”

“You do this every time?” Ithildim asked with eyebrows raised, and then Gimli was chivvying them forward as the train doors opened and the inward-bound commuters poured out and the outward-bound ones moved forward.

“I did not know you would be here,” Legolas only said, shrugging, as they found a small table in the back of the car and piled around it.

Ithildim opened his mouth to ask again but Gimli interrupted—

“That is answer enough, Ithildim,” he said softly. “Leave him be, hm?”

“But—”

“He is always back to himself by the time he gets home, is he not? Let him do what he needs to do. He is his own keeper, Ithildim.”

Legolas was no longer watching them, and he instead stared out the window as the train moved forward and he was rocked slightly as it picked up speed. He did not notice the sound of a crinkling bag or the half sandwich Gimli slid in front of him. He did not notice Ithildim watching him wearily but intermittently as he arranged his notes on the small table, comparing a neat chart to x’s drawn on a map spread across its surface.

Outside, the sun was dipping dark but his mind was far away, and his mouth felt dry as he finally blinked and turned away from the flashing landscape.

Gimli had placed a reassuring hand by his thigh as he leaned over Ithildim’s map, and Ithildim was watching him unashamedly, silver eyes narrowed as Legolas glanced at him.

He pulled a travel mug from his backpack and handed it across the table to him.

“I take medicine for this now, you know,” Legolas said quietly, and he considered the coffee and tilted his head, waiting for Ithildim’s reply.

“I know,” he said immediately. “But you have that look in your eye that you get when…”

“Ithildim, he is his own keeper,” Gimli interrupted firmly, and Ithildim looked away. “That being said, Master Elf, it is summer again—“

“I know that—“

“—and the weather folks are predicting a mighty storm this week, which is probably why you are like this.”

Legolas picked up the coffee without a word and reluctantly drank it, and he twisted his ring again as Gimli continued:

“I’ve told Aragorn again and again that he would be much better served employing you lot for storm prediction than the fellows he has but…” he trailed off, and Legolas smiled.

“But he thinks it is unethical to use a bunch of Sea-longing elves for the protection of king and country, yes,” Legolas finished. “Honestly, those of us who are afflicted are going to suffer whether or not he consults us, so I’ve never understood his reticence.”

Ithildim looked up again and was finally smiling. “You are a bit like a barometer, in that,” he admitted. “Gimli has a point here.”

Legolas laughed. “So, what? We wait until I become uncommunicative and morose and a general pain to be around, and then we send Aragorn a warning letter? What, set smoke signals?”

“This is our stop,” Gimli was saying as he folded up Ithildim’s map and notes and shoved them into his hands. He stood up and gestured at the elves to join him. “Normal people would use the message systems, Legolas, but since you refuse to—”

“Really, Gimli?” Ithildim had pulled Legolas to his feet and was dragging him by the hand out the door. The wind was heavy beneath the eaves of the trees that overhung their stop. “We are lucky he only uses birds. Otherwise it would be constant updates about the exchange rate of rye, or flash-pictures of bread, or flowery descriptions of some lady he met in the gardens!”

As they started down the side path to the houses they shared with Saida and the children Legolas laughed again. “It is mushrooms I am fascinated with right now, Ithildim. It is painfully obvious sometimes that you do not listen when I speak.”

“Mushrooms?” he asked, turning to Gimli.

“That is his current passion project, yes. Have you not been in the downstairs bathroom recently?”

“Thank you, elvellon. I am so relieved someone listens to me.”

“Eru, Legolas, you know the downstairs bathroom is supposed to be for Ewessel so she doesn’t slow anyone else down in the mornings.”

Legolas had walked past them now and was several feet ahead as the main house came into sight. He shrugged and turned, walking backward. “It was her idea, Ithildim. You can take it up with her. I am in her good graces now, and I am not playing with the fire of adolescence to tell her no on your behalf.”

Gimli was laughing now and then Legolas had turned and took off toward the house. By the time they arrived a few minutes later, the lights had all been turned on or lit and Legolas was at the kitchen table with Ewessel herself, helping her with her schoolwork.

He barely looked up as they entered. “Stew on the stove,” he said quietly, and Ithildim sighed to hear the distance in his voice.

The door swung in again as Saida came in with Alfirinion at her heels—

“Smells like rain,” she announced as she slipped off her shoes and dropped her bag to the ground.

Alfirinion was just unloading his bag and armful of books onto the table inside the door when the house shook with a loud crash of thunder, and the building sound of rain—gentle to pounding and persistent—began to beat at the house.

Ewessel looked at Legolas, who had gone still beside her, and turned to her family. “I have known for days it would rain tonight. He is better than any weather report, if you are paying attention.”

“Ewessel,” Saida said with quiet admonishment, and she walked up and pressed a kiss to her niece’s forehead before settling down beside Legolas. “How about an early night?” she said to him quietly. “We can talk about our project tomorrow evening.”

Legolas cleared his throat and looked at his hands. “Yes, I think that would be good. The table isn’t…”

“Ewessel will set the table, won’t she?” Saida said lightly, and Ewessel closed her ledger and sprang to her feet. The dining room and kitchen were suddenly in motion and Legolas sat silent in his seat, until he dropped his head, defeated, into his hands, waiting for the sound of the rain to stop sounding like the crashing of waves at the shore.

“Tell us next time you notice, child,” he could hear Saida saying from the stove, and there was muttering under breath before Ewessel and Alfirinion were back in the room, placing a bowl at each seat.

There was the scraping of chairs around him, and then the feel of a cool glass pressed against his hand.

“It is just water, Legolas,” Ithildim was saying at his shoulder. “Drink, auren. The wide world is still here.”

And so he drank and ate and listened to his friends talk.

Alfirinion had had an argument with a peer at Rangers (though he had won, because debate team and shadowing Arwen over the summer had apparently paid off), and Ewessel was displeased no one wanted to see her forestry project (which, to be fair, was a log covered in mushrooms she had taken from Legolas’ project in the bathroom, so no one was particularly empathetic). Saida had made progress on curriculum redesign in her department at the main university, and Gimli and Ithildim had gotten clearance to start a project they were partnering on, to bring heated, running water to a new town outside Osgiliath.

Legolas, however, had only made stew. Had run errands for the family and for his business. Had gone to his appointment. Had lost himself to the wind and left his family fumbling.

But the stew was, at least, enjoyed, and that was better than nothing...

After dinner, everyone gathered in the sitting room to listen to Alfirinion practice his closing arguments for his competition and, eventually, Legolas fell asleep between Ithildim and Gimli on the couch. The last thing he was aware of was someone slipping headphones over his ears and dropping the needle on the phonograph so his senses were flooded with crackling birdsong, and then there was a blanket about his shoulders, and he was gone.

#nerysvevo #asks #my au #my fanfiction #this fic has accidentally gotten a plot tho which made me mad #because i was writing it to be comforting #but it is fun #and i wish i had the art skills to illustrate it #because it is absolutely and unbelievably a beautiful little world in my head!#long post #sry

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errruvande · 3 years

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1, 8, 12, 20, 37 -@simbxlmyne x

Thank you so much for your questions @simbxlmyne ❤️

1. What’s your favorite character(s) to write for?

Here I'd say both Éomer and Faramir. I really feel like they are both more complex than many people think (due to the movies). I also like writing for Legolas but for me it's hard to not get too sweet and nice with him cause he just covers me in that pink-glasses-perception of the world ahahah

8. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi chaptered stories?

Ha... one-shots, definitely. I always wanted to write multi chaptered fic , but i kinda feel scary for giving up or ended up being worn out. So, see, I've been talking about my 2 upcoming OC multi chaptered fics and about Faramir miniseries for weeks and months but there's nothing here 😬 I am a coward

12. Who is your favorite author?

My fave author... I mean, we all love our savior J.R.R. Tolkien, right? So, I'd say, it's Tolkien (for foreign books) and, er, Mikhail Sholokhov (for Russian books).

20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear?

Ah, I don't get Mach feedback, sadly, but when I get, every word makes me happier. Especially if people say that they loved how I described something, cause I still don't feel 100% comfortable with English, even if some people think my eng is amazing ahahah me writing in English and me writing in Russian - two completely different persons 😂 and description of the character's environment makes half the work for making reader feel the mood of the story.

37. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

I'd like to give it a try! I tried this once with my friend but we never finished our story. This always so interesting and intriguing, cause you never know what your companion would write next ahhahaha

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tearlessrain · 3 years

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30 questions tag game

Tagged by: @mercurypilgrim (thanks!)

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Name/nickname: I’ve been going by tearless/tearlessrain for so long that a friend once called me that in person and I did not notice that it wasn’t my name until they said something. but I also have a lot of other names, only two of which have legal relevance.

Gender: male

Star sign: virgo, but I’ve been told by the local astrology gays that I’m also an aquarius moon and that it “explains a lot”

Height: 5′2

Birthday: a secret. I do not like being the center of attention.

Time: it’s like 3:40am. I will experience deep regret tomorrow, and I will learn nothing from this.

Favorite bands: queen feels like a cop out but like I’m never really not in the mood to listen to queen. linkin park, unironically. and all the different permutations of the crosby/stills/nash/young/simon/garfunkle cloud.

A few I am currently listening to, though: I can’t really call out specific bands/artists because I’m mostly listening to my oc playlists lately (I literally can’t stay in a bad mood listening to riska’s playlist and that’s just the energy I need in my life right now).

Favorite solo artists: (all together now) david bowie. also hozier and joni mitchell.

Song stuck in my head: O Come All Ye Faithful, in latin, for some fucking reason. it’s been there for days. send help.

Last movie: Kung Fu Panda, discord server was having a movie night.

Last show: WandaVision but I’m behind on it (loved the first two episodes but now I can feel the Marvel-ness looming again and I dread it)

When did I create this blog: god I don’t even remember, I’ve been here since the first age and never changed accounts/urls so like. around ten years now I think.

What do I post: whatever the hell passes through my brain from moment to moment, I can’t believe anyone follows me. lately a lot of rambling about my swtor ocs, sometimes it’s tolkien/silmarillion content, sometimes I liveblog terrible movies on purpose, sometimes it’s isaac asimov hours, sometimes just shitposting or unsolicited opinions about completely random things I’m not qualified to talk about. the only thing I can be relied on to provide is reblogs of ocean and horse photos, but not on any kind of consistent schedule.

Last thing googled: celtic invasion of portugal. I got slightly sidetracked from something else I was doing.

Other blogs: I’ve got art over at @tearlessrainart, horny art over at @a-world-of-osha-violations, and a little pile of extremely specific sideblogs I rarely use.

Do I get asks: not often, but those I do get are appreciated. except you, ray bans bot. I don’t appreciate you.

Why I chose my url: I originally used it as a deviantart handle (still there) because it wasn’t taken and I liked the overall way it sounded, and kept it because it’s rarely taken anywhere. and now it’s been ten years so like it’s stuck at this point.

Following: 305

Followers: 1392 which is far more than I deserve given my wildly inaccessible blogging style

Average hours of sleep: 7-8 hours usually but my actual sleep schedule skews late. I’ve never been one of those people who can skate by on 5 hours and be functional, if I get less than 6 hours I am absolutely useless and was that way even in high school/college when everyone else was pulling all nighters and shit.

Lucky number: I honestly have never understood lucky numbers, and how much I like any given number is solely dependent on how appealing its colors are according to my synesthesia. if anyone’s wondering, 420 is a hideously tacky blue/orange clusterfuck, but 69 is pleasantly greyscale.

Instruments: I play the flute, in that I own a flute that I was pretty good at playing in high school and can, if I choose, still play notes on it. I also own a melodica but I cannot play it, which to be clear does not stop me from playing it.

What am I wearing: pajama pants and a sith cloak. which sounds like a joke but I do actually own a set of sith robes and the cloak happens to be warm and very comfortable so I just kinda. wear it around the house sometimes in the winter.

Dream job: ornamental lighthouse hermit who may or may not be a wizard.

more realistically though I’m hoping to go into sfx makeup and cosmetology (I was like a week away from getting my license when the apocalypse hit)

Dream trip: I’d love to visit australia and new zealand, would also very much like to go back to scotland and possibly just not leave scotland.

Favorite food: sushi, specifically good salmon nigiri. god it’s so good. smeagol was right.

Nationality: regrettably, american.

Favorite song: god I have no idea. uh. I really like the boy in the bubble by paul simon. something about the visuals in that song speak to me.

Last book read: rereading The Robots of Dawn by Isaac Asimov, which is a terrible book that I nonetheless subject myself to periodically because I like all the books around it a lot. I need to start on Robots and Empire but shit’s been going down recently so I haven’t been reading much.

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in:

okay LIVE IN is a very different question from “universes I think are neat” because like. I love the whole thing firefly has going on but I wouldn’t survive it for more than five minutes. so with that in mind:

1. middle earth but like, the shire during the third age specifically.

2. I think I would enjoy being a legend of zelda npc. I could just be a weird little potion seller who lives in a tree or something. or maybe an inexplicably sexy fish man. or better yet, the inexplicably sexy fish man’s husband, who sells potions. yeah I’ve got my fictional life here completely figured out now, this is good. I would also own an extremely chonky horse.

3. one of the ones I made up, specifically the one that involves a lot of gryphons and interdimensional bullshit. more specifically the origin universe of said gryphons, which exists at the heart of an extremely complicated multiverse that includes both earth and at least one fantasy world but is part of neither. anyway it’s a nice place.

Tagging: @raemanzu @sith-nb @vampiraptor @nyriad @crypticspren

(only if you want to of course)

#long post #tag meme

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the-jade-cross · 3 years

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Journey to Middle Earth - Chapter 14

Summary – What if JRR Tolkien never gave Thorin a love story… because the person that was meant to be Thorin’s was not yet born when he wrote the Hobbit? Sara journeys from her world to Middle Earth after an accident, with a mission. To change something about the Hobbit story… but she is not sure what. What she does not know is that while trying to prevent something from happening, something new might arise between her and the dwarf prince….even if it is not on the agenda!

Warnings – None, no explicit scenes, some kissing, violence, frightening creatures, mentions of abuse.

Pairings – Thorin Oakenshield x OC

Sara knew that if she explained the danger Thorin was in, she would get some reactions. While most of the company carried on like normal but did make an effort to keep an eye on Thorin, Bilbo went so far as to try and wiggle the details out of Sara and once or twice, she almost did. They would be talking about something completely unrelated and Bilbo was throw in a question asking who Thorin was in danger of and Sara would almost answer him if she didn’t have such quick reactions.

She had only told them that in the previous timeline, Thorin was in danger. She didn’t specifically mention when, where or by whom and didn’t tell them that Fili and Kili were involved in the matter. Not on did she notice a change in the dwarves because of this information, but they also treated her differently. They always made sure that she never got the night watch shifts and Nori, Ori and Dori had even helped her clean Thorin’s chamber so she could sleep in a well-lit, clean bedroom.

Because Oin was not with them, Balin took it upon himself to monitor what foods and smells Sara encountered to eliminate the girl’s feelings of nausea and vomiting. Bombur always reserved extra servings of food for Sara and Dwalin always ensured that Thorin and Sara were at least six feet apart. (Social distancing pun intended;))

Sara appreciated their help and the thoughtfulness but she began to worry that Thorin would notice the change and begin to suspect why Sara was getting special treatment.

Not only that, even though Sara tried to avoid an argument with Thorin for the sake of her very high emotions and for the baby’s wellbeing, she missed him dearly and with the doubling of her “guard”, she never got a moment alone with him.

In that case, she decided to go against Dwalin’s advice of plenty of sleep in the safely locked royal chamber and snuck out to locate the dwarf prince.

This proved simple since everyone who wasn’t Thorin or the one on guard were in an ale stupor. Slipping into the treasure room, Sara found Thorin pouring over a table of teeny tiny white, pink and blue gems.

“Thorin?” she whispered softly in the hopes of not surprising him.

The dwarf spun around even though her voice had been soft, and his face lit up, “Givashel! I thought you were asleep,”

Sara almost saw a glimpse of the old Thorin then but then she realized that he didn’t call her by her name…. but by “my treasure”…

“I couldn’t sleep and I thought…” she started.

Before she could invite him to rest, Thorin had jumped up and grabbed something from the table and held it out to her with a huge smile.

“This will make you happy.” He said, holding out the most beautiful ring Sara had ever seen with a pale pink gem in the center of the golden band, “It is better than that trash I made you in the mountain village.”

Sara bit her lip. She had grown fond of the solid gold band that Thorin had fashioned for her on the day of their marriage. It was simple but made of love…

“It is beautiful Thorin,” she said, noticing how sunken in his eyes and cheeks were from lack of sleep.

When she made no move to take it, Thorin’s smile faded into a frown, “You do not like it!?”

“No, I love it…” Sara assured him, taking the ring from his waiting hands and slipping it onto her ring finger, right above her original wedding ring. “I just… I am worried about you! You never eat or sleep. You’re gonna kill yourself at this rate!”

“I do not need to be babied!” Thorin growled.

“I am not babying you! I am caring about you! I am your wife and it is by duty!” Sara snapped.

Thorin grabbed her wrists and pinned her against the wall, “And that is the only reason?”

Sara felt her heart drop. Was that why he was snappy with her? Because he thought she only did things because they were married? The girl gently reached up and touched his pale cheek, feeling tears prick her eyes at the pain in his orbs.

“No, because whenever I see you sad or in pain, I breaks my heart,” She whispered.

His eyes shining with tears, Thorin dipped down slowly and brushed his lips over hers before pausing as if testing the waters.

“I love you,” Sara murmured.

That was the only invitation Thorin needed before he caught her lips in a full kiss.

Sara half expected it to be heated with hunger and anger and was surprised when she felt his body tremble from emotion, his lips caressing hers gently and full of love. When Sara looped her arms around his neck, Thorin took the invitation and scooped her into his arms. Not breaking the kiss, he took her to their bed chamber.

When Sara woke to the birds chirping, she no longer felt the warm and secure arms that had embraced her all night, nor the gentle breathing noises and the soft lips that had fallen asleep pressed to her forehead. The girl sighed, burying her face in the plush pillow to muffle the whimpers and sobs that ripped from her throat as her heart shattered. She was jolted from her misery by a loud echoing voice that called out.

“Hello!? Bombur…. Bifur…. Anyone!”

The girl was up in an instant, clothing her naked form before pouring warm water on her face in the hopes of easing her red, puffy eyes.

When she burst from her room, she almost tripped over Mason who had come in search of his master. She stumbled into the dining room just in time to find Oin, Bofur, Fili and Kili happily embracing their fellow dwarves. Oin was the first to notice Sara and his eyes widened at the sight of the flushed, slightly more round than he remembered, snuggling into a sweater young girl.

“Mahal…”

All eyes turned to Sara and the girl was engulfed by Fili and Kili who began chattering her ear off.

“You’re alright!” Kili screeched.

“Axel and Omar send their best,” Fili assured her.

As the two brothers ranted, Oin pushed through and touched Sara’s abdomen, examining her and the girl was happy that he chose to not mention the puffy red eyes that she had managed to disguise from everyone but Oin who never missed a thing.

“Lass, you are with Bairns!” he whispered.

Sara’s eyes widened, “Bairns…. As in multiple!?”

Oin nodded with a huge smile, “With your size and how much you are already showing, there is no way it could be two… lass, I think you might be carrying three!”

********

“Twins!?” Dwalin whisper-yelled, “Oin, perhaps half of your brain got roasted by dragon fire.”

Oin shook his head, never taking his eyes off the petite red head who’s eyes shone with joy and love but her face sheet white with worry and fear.

“The lass has already begun to show. She is barely a week and already she has the motherly glow and her symptoms are kicking in. This does not usually happen till the fourth or fifth week.”

“We thought that because the Bairn is part human, part dwarf that it would explain the early symptoms,” Balin intervened.

Oin nodded, “That is so, that would explain the symptoms but Sara is already bumping which can only be explained by the number of bairns she carries.”

Sara glanced down at her abdomen and smoothed the sweater she wore, only to realize that Oin was right. Sara had never been one to worry about her weight and she had not realized that her loose pants and sweater hid the barely noticeable bump. She looked at Oin, her face shining with worry.

“How long do you think the pregnancy will be?”

Oin pursed his lips in thought, “At the most…. Four to five months.”

“And the earliest?” Balin asked, interrupting Dwalin who had been about to ask the same question, leaving him with his mouth open.

“Considering the facts…” Oin mumbled, “One to two months.”

Sara’s eyes bulged, “So as far as we know, I could be about a fifth or fourth through my pregnancy?”

Oin nodded, “Aye. Your appetite will continue to grow and you will begin craving strange foods.”

Sara did not really worry about that for she knew it would come but her mind was buzzing. Azog would be attacking Erabor and Dale in the next two days… she needed to leave the mountain and come up with a plan. Not only that, she needed to ensure that her brothers would be safe during the battle.

“I’m gonna be a cousin!” Kili hooted.

Fili was about to join in with the celebration when Dwalin whacked them over the head to shut them up just as the door opened and in strode Thorin.

“Everyone to the gate, now!” he growled.

As the prince began to leave, the company looked to Sara, only to realize from the look in her eyes that it was the Laketown people arriving. Sara hurried over to Thorin and grasped his forearm. The dwarf looked at her with no expression in his pale blue eyes.

“You stay here. We need to take care of this.”

Sara nodded, not bothering to object, “I will see you later Thorin.”

With that, she stood on tiptoe and planted a loving kiss on his lips. Thorin did not react but Sara knew that the dwarves were staring with worried looks on their faces, knowing that her words were not really “see you later” but “goodbye for now”.

The girl looked at the dwarves and smiled gently at them before exiting the room. She hurried down the corridors to her chamber and she dove in, locking the door behind her. She needed to move quickly. Thorin would begin to rebuild the gate and she didn’t want him to realize her absence. Grabbing her bag, she loaded her knife, notebook, gun and a few pairs of clothes in before strapping her bow and swords to her back. She turned to Mason and softly told him to follow her only to open the door and find a small pouch on the floor outside with a note attached to it.

Sara, be safe. Use the hidden door to leave and give my best to Ryder, Omar and Axel. We will miss you until we meet again. Bombur insisted that you take the food in the pouch. It will last you a few days. Dwalin also put in a bag of explosive dust. He said that it might help you with your plan. Keep safe my queen. – Balin.

Sara smile and hastily placed the pouch in her began before rushing down the corridors to where the hidden door was. She halted as she passed the treasure room. No point in leaving a note in the bedroom since Thorin never went there. She reached to her pocket and drew out the letter she had written Thorin before pinning it to the door of the treasure room. Takin gone last look over her shoulder, she slipped up the staircase, through the hidden door and into the fresh air. She looked down at Mason who stood by her side like a sentry. She then reached down and rubbed her stomach before feeling tears prick her eyes.

“Don’t worry babies. We will see your daddy again… and he will be alive. I promise you.”

Shifting her bag and weapons, she began the slow climb down the stairs with mason following closely behind. They had just reached the bottom when Sara froze and touched the stone that made up a good amount of the surrounding rock.

“Magnesium…” She whispered.

Her mind raced back to the time when Axel practically forced her to watch ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’ staring Josh Hutcherson for school. Sara’s face lit into a huge smile and she turned to Mason.

“I’ve got an idea,” she whispered, “Good thing Dwalin gave me extra explosives.”

About six hours later when Thorin made his way back to the treasure room after leaving the rest of the company to continue stacking stone, he was confused to find a small piece of paper tied to the door. Thinking perhaps it was another letter from Sara asking him to get some rest and eat, he made to tear it off and crumble it when he noticed two words that made him freeze.

I’m sorry.

He quickly unraveled the crumpled letter and scanned the letter hastily before reading it a second time, very slowly this time:

Dear Thorin,

I’m sorry that I am telling you this in a letter instead of in person, but I know that if I tried to explain the situation to you in person, you would not let me leave. I am leaving to go to Dale for a while. I need to check on my brothers and ensure that they are safe and well. I promise, I am not leaving you nor betraying you, but this is something I have to do to ensure that nothing terrible happens to anyone. Please trust me and know that I love you more than you can even imagine. Be strong Thorin and fight this sickness that has changed you. Remember, I will love you no matter what, but you have to fight this.

I love you with my whole heart.

Your wife, Sara

Thorin hadn’t realized it but by the time he had read the letter a fourth time, a single tear had escaped his eye and he stood there frozen, not believing what had just happened…. But his pain and misery was soon ended when he heard the company talking and he returned to his serious self, storming into the treasure room, leaving the letter abandoned on the floor.

*******

When Sara and Mason slipped through the back entrance of Dale, she was glad to find that almost all the inhabitants were at the front gates, welcoming Thranduil, his army of elves and his carts of food. However, the joy at having an easy entrance was clouded by fear. She only had till morning to get a plan under way. She did not have to look far before she rounded a corner and smacked into a hard chest, spluttering an apology.

“Sara?” A familiar, deep voice rumbled.

Sara lifted her eyes and a huge grin split across her face when she recognized the tall, bear like figure of Zain.

“You’re okay!” Sara squealed, throwing her arms around the big man’s abdomen. When she pulled away, she noticed a silver bracelet on his thick wrist and her eyes widened. Grace had told her that human custom was instead of beads, two betrothal silver bracelets were used to signify the members of an engagement or betrothal.

“And engaged!” Sara chirped with joy at the blush on Zain’s smiling face as he tried to hide behind his curls.

The tall man smiled and nodded, “Aye, Rose is a special girl.”

Sara’s eyes widened further, “Rose!? As in the Rose from the mountain village!?”

Zain nodded and Sara breathed a sigh of relief, “She and Deke… are they okay? What about my brothers?”

Zain nodded, “Deke and Rose are well. They are with Grace and the kids. Axel, Omar and Ryder are over here…”

Sara joyfully followed Zain to a corner of the marketplace to find her brothers sitting with Deke, Rose and Grace’s family. Omar was the first to see her and leapt to his feet, running over to embrace his big sister. As Axel and Ryder came for their hugs, Omar went to pet Mason.

“What are you doing her!?” Axel whisper yelled, “Shouldn’t you be with our husband?”

Sara bit her lip, “Thorin is too far gone. I need to come up with a plan to save him, Fili and Kili before dawn when Thranduil attacks Erabor and Dain appears.”

Axel nodded, “Whatever you need help with, you can count me in.”

Sara beamed at her brother, “I noticed that there is Magnesium all over Erabor. I need to find out if there is any on Ravenhill.”

Axel cocked his head quizzically, “Who or what are you planning on blasting to smithereens?”

Sara smiled, “I have got a backup plan for Thorin but I need to find out if there is Magnesium where Fili is…. “Killed”. And also to find out how to get him out of there.”

“What about Kili?” her brother quizzed.

Sara shook her head, “That is a part of the plan that I haven’t figured out yet.”

“If only Mithril weren’t so scarce,” Omar muttered.

Axel nodded in agreement when suddenly Sara’s eyes widened and she spun Axel around to face her, “Axel… you took those snorkeling diving lessons right?”

Axel nodded, “Yeah… .why?”

Sara smirked, “I need you to go swimming for something.”

All three of her brothers tilted their heads in confusion. Sara just smiled, “Mithril is not the only thing that is impenetrable.”

When Axel gave her a look as if to say, ‘you are making no sense and I cannot understand a thing you are saying’, Sara smirked.

“What did Thorin say to Bilbo about mithril?”

Omar hummed in thought, “no blade can pierce it.” Sara smiled, “And what did Bilbo tell Frodo?”

“Ooh!” Ryder squealed, “I know! He said… ‘As light as a feather and as hard as dragon scales’!”

All at once, her brothers caught onto what she was getting at and smiled in excitement.

Sara beamed, “Now, while you and Omar re off doing that, I am taking a hike up to Ravenhill.”

The girl got to her feet and made to call Mason hen the whiff of rotting, burnt bones from the past Dale inhabitants reached her nose and she doubled over, puking into a nearby corner, away from the others.

Grace hastily poured a mug of water while her husband helped hold back Sara’s hair as she emptied her stomach onto the gravel. After she finished and washed her mouth with water, she turned to find Axel looking at her suspiciously while Omar and Ryder looked highly concerned. “Well do that,” Axel remarked, “Right after you tell us the whole story. What is going on!?”

“Azog and Bolg will be attacking tomorrow,” Sara pointed out, trying to avoid the question, “It would be best if Grace, Rose and the kids left for the mountain village.”

“Sara Renee,” Axel said sternly, “What was the ulterior motive you had for leaving Thorin and Erabor?”

Sara opened her mouth to escape the real answer but Axel gave her a warning look.

The girl sighed, “You might be expecting a niece or nephew soon and because every event in Middle Earth is against us, you might meet them sooner than expected.”

**********

Sara did a full 180 degree turn as she studied the ledge where Azog would stand as he killed Fili. She scanned until her eyes fell on a particularly smooth layer of rock, right where Fili would land after Azog dropped him. If Azog happened to drop Fili over the ledge when Sara set her plan in motion, she needed to make sure Fili wouldn’t die from the fall. Sara ran her hands over the smooth rock, partially covered by snow which hid it well. How did it not break under Fili’s weight? Sara tapped the rock around the match of Muscovite and found that it was a narrow section of the thin rock… with water underneath? From the sound of it, it was a good amount of water… possibly an underground reservoir that connected to the lake and waterfall that was frozen over. Sara pulled out her sketch book and began to do the math.

“If the section is this wide… with this distance between the rock and the water… and Fili’s weight didn’t break it…and this weight would be needed to break through the rock…Then Fili’s weight should be around this much… so I would need this additional weight…. Rocks will work as good additional weight… just add the extra weight to the rock and when Fili drops….just need to know wone thing… how do you ask a guy how much he weighs!?”

******

“Do you think it will be just like in the movie?” Omar whispered as the four children watched Bard stand at the huge gate of Erabor, negotiating through the peephole. The four kids were sitting in the tower of Dale, peering over the railing in the hopes of not being spotted by a particular grump dwarf king.

“Either that or Thorin will poke bard’s eye out with an arrow through the hole,” Axel mumbled.

Sara poked her brother in a gentle scolding manner. Axel smirked, “Oh, Omar and I got that shipment you requested.”

He held up a small sack and Sara beamed, taking it off his hands and tucking it under her arm. “When Grace and Rose leave with the children tonight, Ryder and Mason must go with them. It is dangerous enough for Omar.” Sara whispered to Axel who nodded in agreement.

“You are going to the gate with Brad and Thranduil tomorrow right?” Axel whispered, “Anything you want me to tell Bilbo?”

Sara nodded, “Give him this,” She said, handing Axel a folded note, “And tell him to be careful.”

Axel smiled but being the curious teenage boy he was, he opened the note and read it.

“Sara, what goes through your head these days? I think the babies are getting to you! Why do you need to know Fili’s body weight? Are you using him as a mold for the baby’s clothes!?”

Sara smirked, “Don’t worry about it. I just needed to make sure I estimated his weight right. it is part of the plan.”

“What about Azog and Thorin? Did you figure out a plan B for Plan B in case Plan X fails and when that fails, if plan B might fail?”

Sara shook her head, “Hopefully Plan A or Plan A’s Plan B will work.”

Axel nodded with worry etched across his face, “You know you only have three shots left.”

Sara sighed, “I am well aware.”

“You have three shots to save the three dwarves,” Ryder chirped.

Sara smiled, “I wish life were that simple bro, but life has a way of working against you.”

“Which can also be titled: The existence of Azog and Bolg.” Omar muttered which made Axel’s blue eyes widen.

“Sara, Azog is out to destroy the line of Durin!”

“Duh!” Omar mumbled, “He’s out to deliver us peaches and pineapple!”

“Sara,” Axel whisper yelled, ignoring Omar, “You happen to be carrying the next two heirs of Durin!”

Sara shrugged, “Well I don’t make it a habit of telling orcs that I am pregnant with Thorin Oakenshield’s children who happens to be king under the mountain, the dwarf Azog is out to kill which happens to make me Queen of Era…. Oh no!”

“Now you get it,” Axel mumbled as his sister’s face paled.

“What is it?” Omar asked, confused.

“Looks like we’ll need a plan B for Plan B, second edition,” Axel remarked.

***********

“Bard!” Sara called, deciding to not call him Mr. Bard since that sounded too American. “Excuse me!”

Bard turned to see Sara hurrying over to him and he smiled, “What can I do for you little lady?”

“erm…” Sara mumbled, “My name is Sara…”

Bard’s eyes widened, “I have heard of you… you are a member of the company of Thorin Oakenshield.”

Sara looked down, “Not anymore.”

Bard’s face softened, “you ran away, like the halfling?”

Sara nodded, “I know that makes me look like a coward…”

“Not at all,” Bard assured her, “You had to do what was for the best to protect yourself.”

“I was wondering if I could ride out with you tomorrow when you declare war on Thorin?”

Bard’s eyes widened, “You knew of that?”

Sara nodded which seemed enough to convince Bard, “Very well, but on the condition, you ride on my horse behind me. If Thorin is angry to see you, I do not want you shot.”

Sara beamed and nodded, “Thank you!”

She made to leave when she heard a voice behind her, “So it is you.”

Sara spun around to come face to face with the elven king, Thranduil. She bowed her head but Thranduil lifted her chin with his finger and studied her face.

“When I heard that Thorin Oakenshield had taken a bride, I did not believe it,” he touched the beads in her hair and eyed the two rings on her finger, “But I see that it is true.”

The elf stepped back when he saw Sara’s eyes flare in warning at his close proximity.

“What inclined the queen of Erabor to leave her throne and spouse?” the elf king inquired.

Sara squared her shoulders, “I did not marry Thorin for his throne. Nor di I leave him. I left the mountain to protect him and his…”

When she cut herself off, Thranduil frowned but his sharp eyes caught sight of the slight bump that was visible beneath her tunic.

His eyes widened, “His heir… this may work to our advantage.”

Bard went to object to Thranduil’s selfish plan but Sara intervened. “I will cooperate but on my terms.”

“Fair enough,” the elf smirked.

*********

“Do I have to go?” Ryder pleaded, his arm around Mason’s fluffy neck s his brothers and sister bade him farewell.

Sara smiled as she kissed his curls, “it will be safer for you. Tomorrow Grace and Rose will bring you all back and everything will be well again.”

Ryder stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, “Don’t forget to consider the names I picked for the babies!”

“We don’t even know the gender yet,” Omar observed.

“Which names did you pick?” Axel inquired, “Legolas Jr. and Pippin?”

Ryder shook his head, “That was Ruby’s idea. I picked Charlie Brown and Snoopie.”

********

“You ready for this?” Bard whispered to Sara who sat perched behind him in the saddle, her arms around his middle, his tall stature hiding her from sight.

“Yeah… totally…” Sara whispered back, “I am totally ready to reveal to my ornery dwarf husband that I am pregnant with his twin children, I ran away because I was afraid of him and I knew that Bilbo had the Arkenstone…. Yeah…. Definitely.”

Bard chuckled softly before pulling his mare to a halt next to Thranduil’s elk. Sara cringed when she heard an arrow strike the ground in front of the elk and Thorin’s voice bellowed from above.

“The next one will be between your eyes,” Thorin growled, followed by the cheers of the company.

Sara stifled a giggle when she heard the dwarves gasp when the elves pulled their bows on them at the nod from Thranduil.

“Payment of your treasures has been offered and accepted,” Thranduil growled through his teeth.

“What payment? I gave you nothing! You have nothing!” Thorin bellowed angrily.

Bard reached into his coat and drew out the Arkenstone, “We have this!”

Sara felt a hand touch her leg and looked to see Gandalf standing there next to the horse, shrouded by his big grey hat and cloak, “Bilbo went back didn’t he?”

Sara nodded, “he will be fine… with a little help from you.”

Gandalf smiled before leaning up and whispering something to the girl who beamed with joy.

“The Arkenstone is in this mountain!” Thorin yelled, startling Sara, “It is a trick!”

Sara bit her lip, knowing that Bilbo had appeared.

“What do we do?” Bard whispered with worry, “Thorin may kill him!”

Sara shook her head, “Help me down in a moment…”

“Curse you!” Thorin bellowed at Bilbo, seeing red as he dragged Bilbo to the edge and pushed him half over, “And curse the wizard who chose you for this company!”

Thorin froze in his movements when he heard Gandalf’s rumbling voice call out, “If you dislike my burglar, then please do not hurt him, return him to me!”

Thorin loosened his grip on the hobbit who went scurrying away from him instantly and snuck down the rope while Thorin sneered at Gandalf.

“Never again will I have dealings with wizards or shire rats!” he hissed.

“You are not making a splendid figure as king under the mountain are you?” Gandalf retorted. “You have fallen so far into greed and envy that you drove your own wife away.”

“You know nothing about me!” Thorin growled, “Not me, nor Sara!”

At those words, Gandalf, Bard and Thranduil all turned to Sara who gripped Bard’s hand and slipped from his horse to come stand next to Gandalf. Thorin’s eyes widened at the sight of the girl and he let out a shaky breath.

“What are you doing with those traitors!” He snapped, his eyes darkening with anger but glistening with sadness.

Sara growled under her breath, “If anyone is a traitor it is you Thorin! You promised to love me and never hurt me. Well guess what? You hurt me! Even when you had me, you had Erabor… when you had everything it was not enough for you! Even if I had told you that I carry your child would it have been enough!”

Silence enveloped everyone and Thorin almost choked on his own breath, the darkness in his eyes fading to give way to a light of hope and joy… clouded by pain.

“You… this is just another trick… a plan to make me cave…” Thorin mumbled mostly to himself.

Sara scoffed before reaching down and smoothing her tunic to reveal the visible bump hidden beneath. Thorin froze and his eyes widened, tears springing to the sky-blue orbs.

“You hid this from me? Do you trust me so little!?” he almost muttered.

That struck a cord and Sara shouted so loud that even Thranduil jumped, “What did you expect me to do!? The day after we are married, you treat me like I do not exist! You never slept or ate and spent all day searching for a bloody rock! You treated your best friends and family like dirt! Did you expect me to hand you the news on a silver platter with a ‘here you are Thorin, another life that you can treat like a slave!’” Sara hissed, “Fat chance.”

Thorin seemed shaken by her words and his eyes glossed over with tears. Sara’s face softened at the sight.

“I love you Thorin, more than anything but I feel that you do not love me anymore. I have lost you… and I have to think of the baby. So until you find yourself again, I cannot be near you or on your side.”

When Thorin did not speak but turned to hide his face from Sara’s vision, the girl sighed. Not yet…

“Are we agreed?” Bard called, noticing that Sara was not going to speak further. “The return of the Arkenstone for what was promised? Will you have peace or war?”

Sara closed her eyes, awaiting the fateful answer.

“I will have war,” Thorin said just loud enough over the sound of approaching feet, 1000 fold.

Sara groaned as she turned to see the silver armored dwarves cross the crest of the hill. “Ironfoot. The more the merrier I suppose…”

Gandalf reached down and grabbed Sara by the hand who in turn grabbed Bilbo’s wrist and pulled them toward where the dwarves were approaching.

“Who is that?” Bilbo whispered. “Doesn’t look very friendly.”

“Thorin’s cousin Dain,” Sara replied. “Lord of the Ironhills.”

“Is he and Thorin… similar?” the hobbit inquired.

Gandalf paused for a second, “Thorin was always the more aggregable of the two.”

Bilbo looked at Sara with a completely distressed look and Sara smirked, “Stay close to Gandalf and make good choices. If you need help, Axel and Omar are defending Dale.”

The hobbit nodded, “What about you? You are in no condition to fight! You’ll get hurt!”

Sara just smiled knowingly, “Do not doubt my intelligence dear Mr. Baggins. Just pray that things don’t go wrong.”

“Like what?”

“Like a certain dwarf prince having a not so friendly reunion with a particularly not friendly white giant orc creature.”

#thorin oakenshield #thorin oakenshield x oc #thorin #thorin x oc #hobbit #lotr

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cassandras-nest · 5 years

Text

.Invisible man.

So here we are, the first chapter is here (and i’m terrified..)

disclaimer 1: english isn’t my first language, so i apologize for any mistake

disclaimer 2: this fic uses references to the very first internet service, chatrooms & all, i was 20 back then and there were no smartphones yet.

disclaimer 3: Deakster:John CoolCat:Cassandra

pairing: 00s John Deacon x OC Cassandra

warnings: brief mention of divorce and paranoia. Age-gap (20/50), extremely slow burn, very angst, probably sweet at very end (multichapter)

thanks @binkyisonline for everything, without her i wouldn’t be here, writing silly things

summary: Newly divorced John Deacon joins the Queen forum’s chatroom with a fake account and start talking with someone who completely understand him and make him feel alive again. He finds himself obsessed with her pretty soon....

"Yeah, I think that laughing makes me feel better. I try to think about good things and smile, even if I had a bad day. It’s better than worrying too much." - John Deacon 1979

*CoolCat is online*

……………………..

CoolCat - Hey D., you’re already here :’D

Deakster -…today was quite boring, so yeah…how was school ?

CoolCat - a really big NOPE day…but I’ll tell you in a bit.

Deakster - oh ok…still busy?

Cool Cat - oh no, not so much, I just came back it’s all..

________

This was her new normal from one month and a half, almost since the day she joined the official Queen forum and the chat room as well.

She was in London from less than a year attending the London Fashion College and apart from people from her classes she didn’t know anyone in particular; she wasn’t much an outgoing person anyway, but it was ok. In her perspective, now her studies were more important.

One day, too much free time on her hands leaded to, finally, join the official Queen chatroom. She was already registered onto the forum but she didn't have time to actually talk to people or post something but that day she was bored, more than usual, and while the school was closed for winter holidays, she found herself with nothing more to do..

Now thanks to an impulsive decision, she found so many people to talk to with the same love and passion for a band that changed her life forever.

Luckily she found some new “friends” too. One in particular who she talked to almost every time she was there, between school, her new part time job and a almost non-existent private life.

She didn’t know much about him, he was nice and very well behaved so she assumed he was a bit older than her. She even didn’t know his real name, not that it wasn’t important but it was ok, for now. She only knew that he lived in London, like her, but she never asked where exactly and he didn’t tell her too. It was just a really nice and easy chat to pass the time and probably she will never see his face so... why bother about all this anyway?

________

CoolCat - so?Why a boring day? Tell me..while I finish up my dinner : )

Deakster - I’m no that interesting y’ know?i don't know why you still talk to me anyway

CoolCat - don't start, i talk to you ‘cause i want it to ...so go on then, wanna know..why boring?

Deakster - I was at home all day, cleaning up…listening to old music, I wasn’t much in the mood for tv or reading today.

CoolCat - sounds interesting ;D

Deakster - i told you it was boring, no need to mock me ):

CoolCat - I will never ;D

Deakster - as much as I want to believe you, I don’t. Are you laughing at me right now, aren’t you?

CoolCat - I assure you I’m not, ok maybe a little bit.. picturing you doing all things housewife-y is fun..and cute, maybe.

Deakster - am I cute now? Now you totally making fun of me, you little devil :’(.

CoolCat - oh, you realizing it now? That i am indeed evil? I thought you said that you were smart once… :).

Deakster - that i am, i didn't know i was going to meet a tempting devil on my way ;)

CoolCat - eh, life's full of surprises …

CoolCat - back on topic, do you still want to hear how bad my day was instead? It's funny...in its own way

Deakster - and probably much more interesting, go on tell me then…

CoolCat - alright …..in short, they didn’t like my patterns at all..not even one….

________

He didn’t even know why he was still there.

It was supposed to be a one time only...twice at least, just to ease up his boring life a little.

But now?

At first the idea of joining the official band forum was absurd - its own band, what the hell he was supposed to do or say?

Hence the idea of creating a fake account, he really missed the people, the noise, the attentions that once were given to him. In short, he missed the fame and he was bored out of his mind..

Newly divorced, although he and his ex wife were still on speaking terms, she was one of the few people to know him well after all, but still, life had put him through a lot and his life had changed so much in few years

Now he find himself in up-north London, all alone in a small fancy apartment, and 50 years old already.

He didn’t want anyone to know it was him, he wanted to be free, just be himself and not the worldwide famous rockstar. So the idea he had seemed the best way to do it

- and quite silly- his ex wife commented once with a laugh..

It was basically hiding in plain sight, if people knew better, his nickname gave it away a lot, but in a Queen forum not really, not so much…

________

Deakster - so you have to do them all over again? Like you did last week ?

CoolCat - basically yes, but better and it’s so frustrating…I know it’s for my own good, I know it but..fuck….. uh, sorry, it slipped :/

Deakster - hahahahaha don’t worry about it, I used to be worst than that :D

CoolCat - really? You didn’t say one single bad word since I’ve known you..

Deakster - that’s because I can behave in front of a young lady ;)

CoolCat - LOL omg! you know, you talk like a really old man.

Deakster - I am an old man !

CoolCat - you’re not, you’re funny! ;D

Deakster - I can be funny and old at the same time y’ know?

CoolCat - haha yeah right xD …

Deakster - ..and you’re mocking me again.. :/

CoolCat - am not, I told you you’re funny..thank you btw, you really cheered me up, sorry about the rambling...

Deakster - my pleasure and..don’t worry about it :D

________

She didn’t know why it was so easy talking to him, but it was indeed, even if they had a limited time whenever they chatted, every time it was worthy it. She felt safe with him, from the first moment they spoke, relaxed even and she really didn't know why..

It was the first time that a man didn’t ask her for special pictures or talk to her in a creepy way and, honestly, it was quite a relief.

Each day that passed she, slowly, became the curious one but and didn’t know how to tell him just after two months but she really wanted to know more about him.

She liked their unusual friendship and really didn’t want to ruin it, so maybe it wasn’t the right time anyway..

CoolCat - as nice as it was, now I have to go..i’m so sorry D. : (

Deakster - oh, it’s ok… :’(

CoolCat - oh don’t cry, I’ll see you another day isn’t it? :D

Deakster - yes! This old man could use some nice company, every now and then..

CoolCat - I’m flattered :* ..i’m a nice company after all…

Deakster - less when you, clearly, make fun of me :P

CoolCat - ouch! You hurt me ;) …. Now for real, I have to go or I’ll have to pay way too much for my internet.

Deakster - allright..allright, listen…

He stopped for a second, torn between his rational mind and his instinct...a question in his mind for days.

Deakster - Can I ask you something?

CoolCat - maybe next time D. but if it’s important…i can stay a little more..i think

Deakster - no, not all…next time it is :D

CoolCat - ok, bye :*

……………..

*CoolCat is offline*

It wasn’t an important matter, but he really wanted to ask...he had that question in his mind for two weeks or so already…

It was stupid? Probably.

It was too soon? Absolutely.

But he felt different, he felt at peace, he felt alive again, all thanks to her..and that’s what he needed these days.

Almost everyday he was there waiting to talk even if for few minutes and he didn't know why. Infact, he knew little about her, but he didn’t wanted to seem too pushy even if he wanted to know more every time.

In almost two month they talked about almost everything: he knows she was a Queen fan and it was a “family thing” like she said; her mother was a long time fan so it was natural for her to knew about the band. She didn’t have a favorite one, she was more into their music and, to his delight, she liked almost every song he wrote, making him feel really proud. He knows she was attending the London College of Fashion and he smiled to himself at the silly coincidence.

She was a big time fan of fantasy literature, especially Tolkien.

What he didn’t know was her real name, it wasn’t important per se but the more they talked, the more he wanted to know.

Was it the same for her? ..

Next time, maybe...?

________

What they didn't know was that the following days soon took an unexpected turn…

Her life was already messy, but this week seemed much more chaotic than usual.

At school they had a bunch of unexpected tests, mostly pointless and boring and at work they changed her shifts without asking and now she was on the afternoon one; It wouldn't be a problem if only she could still study too, but every night she came back from work too tired to do anything more than sleep or eat. So every morning she woke up an hour or two before her actual alarm so she could did something, even if it meant to probably fell asleep in class...

Every night was a struggle to sleep. Her mind wandered to all the things waiting for her the next day and to a specific person, the one who had soon become a pleasant habit in her life and on how much she missed their small late talks.

She sighs, hoping to come back online soon.

The truth was that she really missed him..

________

He was a mess.

He logged in more than usual that week, just to check if she was there, ignoring anyone else, but nothing showed up.

Many times a little voice inside his head told him that this was pathetic, caring for a young girl like that, a girl that didn't know who he was, a girl that had a very busy life, full of interests, a girl that, surely, was not thinking about him like he was with her.

But he did, he can't help it.

She was somehow special to him, someone who listened to him for once, that talked to him not because of his fame but because she wanted to, someone that made him laugh. She was nice to him, that's all.

However deep down he knew it was all a lie.

What will happen when she would discover who he really was?

That thought scared him the most, but still, he was still there looking for her.(missing her)

________

A week passed with no news whatsoever.

She was always tired and impossibly busy, sleeping on her day off..

He was stressed with family issues with no one to talk to

He still hoped that she would showed up one day or another.

Meanwhile his paranoia started to tricked him in the worst way ever...

________

opinions?advices?constructive criticism?..please tell me what you think..

and if you like it, comment and..maybe reblog? thank you

taglist: @bluewillowmom @iwanttoridemybri @deakysgurl @deakys-chesthair @deacytits @spacedust1124719 @stormtrprinstilettos @dontstopmemeow @mydeakydoesme @culturefiendtrashqueen @babyzellodeacon @sitonmyhot-seatoflove @myguardianmailman @raven974 @chasingthespiders @bismillahnah @acdeaky @sohoneyspreadyourwings @supersonicfreddie

sorry two tags didn’t worked properly

#My writing #queen fanfiction #john deacon fanfiction #john deacon x oc #invisible man #John Deacon #oc cassandra #2000s internet #2000 #chatrooms #silly writing #fanfic writing #Queen

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bookenders · 5 years

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11/11/11 Tag Game: 16/17/18?

Back again to spill the tea about myself for all you lovely people.Thanks @cataclysmic-writer, @maybeillwriteit and @aurisadventure for the tags!

My answers are under the cut. 😊

Rules: Answer the 11 questions of the person who tagged you, make up 11 questions, then tag 11 people to answer them.

Bilbo Taggins: @brittanyisart, @quilloftheclouds, @brittanyisart, @brynwrites, @creatvrae, @elisabethrosewrites, @elizabethsyson, @ren-c-leyn, @yetmorestories, @pinespittinink, @timefire25

My Questions:

What are your thoughts on throw pillows?

Do you have any podcast recommendations? How about TV shows?

What month would you be on a calendar, and what would the picture be?

What is one book that you absolutely love, no matter what anyone else has to say about it?

What’s your favorite kind of scented candle?

What’s your favorite urban legend?

Would you ever go on an arctic expedition?

What’s the furthest from home you’ve ever been?

What is the best snack?

How purple do you allow your prose to be/get? What’s your purple limit? Is there one?

What’s one word/line/scene/character that you want to put in a story, but you haven’t found the right place for yet?

@cataclysmic-writer‘s questions:

What do you eat or drink while writing? It varies depending on how I’m feelin’. Usually a big giant glass of water. I used to have coffee and/or tea, but it always got cold because I forgot about it. That’s actually how I used to measure my progress, by how cold the drink was. And coffee got me too jazzed to sit still, so I stopped drinking while writing. Good for academic papers, though.

Best piece of advice you ever received? Like... ever? Okay. People are more interested in themselves/absorbed with themselves to really care what you’re doing. Very empowering for someone with real bad social anxiety (like myself heyooo).

Which book inspired you to write the most? I’ve talked about Laurie Halse Anderson’s Wintergirls before, and I’m gonna mention it again. And that I went to a signing for her new book Shout and I got to thank her and my life has been enriched a thousand-fold.

Which author do you try to emulate when you write? Oh, man, I do not do this at all. Okay, well, not at all, because I find it to be a valuable writing exercise to practice with. But I super don’t. I’ve done projects where I’ve emulated Walt Whitman, Philip Levine, Tolkien, Dostoevsky, Poe (eugh), and Anne Valente. Those were super fun. I like imitating styles and I’ve gotten pretty darn good at it. Sometimes I tell myself to put a Gaiman-like twist on a section, though, or describe something like another author if it fits the tone for funsies. But I like writing like me!

Where did you get the idea for your current wip? I’ve already talked about Heart to Heart, so I’ll talk about “Fish Food!” This one happened when I was pondering superheroes, James Bond, tropes, evil monologues, and the like. I had the image of a hero tied up and dangling over a pit of piranhas while the villain detailed his evil plan. But the hero didn’t follow the script. And then, like every one of my short stories, it spun way out of control. I started to think of what heroes would inhabit this world that erupted from the fertile soil of my brain and suddenly I had a big complicated story that I was excited about. And it was funny, which is a change for me.

Do you have a go-to beta reader/writing buddy you bounce ideas off of? I do! One of my goodest friends is a fellow writer and she’s my spaghetti wall if I need assistance. We went through the same creative writing program one year apart and had different teachers, so we offer each other pretty different advice, and it’s great. She’s super into fae lore, too, which is ridiculously helpful for me, a nerd who is writing a light fantasy story with fae in it. We operate in different styles and genres, though, so sometimes idea-bouncing is a little tricky.

Which of your WIPs is your favorite? Of the ones I’m working on right now? Probably “Incarnate.” Partly because it’s closer to my usual writing fare, partly because it’s weird and disturbing in my favorite ways, partly because the ending is really cool and surprising in a way that hits you long after you finish it. I also like it because it’s hard for me to write. Yay, challenges!

Tea, coffee, or soda? Tea for chillin’, coffee for workin’, soda for pizza times.

If you could have any fantasy creature as a pet, which would you have? A brownie to clean my house, or a domovoi to act as a weird home security system would be neat. For non-practical purposes, I’d also say a pegasus. I can ride pretty well and it’d be so convenient to just fly everywhere on my awesome horse buddy.

Do you like creepy/scary movies? NOPE. I am a big chicken shit when it comes to spooky things. As a kid, I was terrified of E.T. That’s how bad it was.

What genre do you have yet to write in, but want to write soon? Hm. Maybe historical fiction? I already play with it a little bit without actually going into the history part of it too deeply. Maybe I’ll give it a shot in the future. I’ve always wanted to give magical realism a good try, though. It’s always been hard for me to write.

________________________________________

@aurisadventure‘s questions:

1. Who is your favorite oc? Why?

Right now, it’s Lithium from “Fish Food.” She’s just so fun. I also just figured out a big part of Jill’s character that I’m excited to add to H2H!

2. What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not writing?

I got into cooking a while ago, and that’s pretty fun. I do yoga sometimes. I read a bunch. I also like putting things together. Honestly, I’m a big giant nerd who likes learning in their spare time.

3. What is your least favoured genre?

Hard sci-fi is really hard for me to get into. And some contemporary stuff, but it’s not as bad as hard sci-fi.

4. Top three favorite video games? (Any console)

DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS (with Awakening DLC, obvs) (except for the goddamn Mage Circle Fade part I hate it and it deserves to burn in hell)

Ori and the Blind Forest (I’m stuck on the last stupid fire volcano level and I’m so mad because it’s hard but this game is beautiful)

To The Moon (so many tears, such good story)

Honorable mention to Assassin’s Creed 2.

(I love RPGs.)

5. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for inspiration?

Hm. I don’t really go out and seek inspiration like this. I just consume a whole lot of art in varying mediums.

I went to a poetry slam one time. Does that count?

6. Buggy or Cart?

Horses, buggy. Oxen, cart. As much as I’d like to be Gandalf...

7. Have you finished any of your wips?

I am so goddamn close to finishing “When Your Song is Over and Done” I can taste it. I’m hoping to write that last stupid scene this week. It’s been the one WIP that’s been kicking my ass lately. How rude.

I’m a short story writer, so I finish a lot of my WIPs. It’s kinda nice. That’s also why longer projects scare me.

8. But like… can I read it?

😉

In the meantime, you can read these!

9. What is your favorite animal? Why?

Highland Cows! Just look at them.

I’m sure I have a more interesting answer for this, but honestly, cows are all I can think of. I love cows.

10. Name one place you want to visit more than anything.

Norway! Not sure why. Seems like a really cool place to be.

(I lied I love space and want to go to the observatories.)

11. What is your most cherished childhood memory?

Saturday mornings curled up in my grandfather’s armchair watching TV and eating Burger King before we go visit the animals at the farm.

________________________________________

@maybeillwriteit‘s questions:

1. Which oc would you most like to go for a drink with?

I don’t drink, but I think Treena would be an excellent conversation partner.

2. Where do you like to write? Bed? Desk? Cafe? etc etc

I have a desk in my room. Not that I usually write at it. I’m good anywhere I can sit up straight and rest my arms.

3. Which of your ocs do you think people are most likely to make fanart for?

Eventually, I hope Mel. I love her character design. Or the superheroes and villains from “Fish Food.” They all have really distinct appearances and cool costumes/uniforms.

4. Favourite piece of writing advice you’ve received?

Probably the time my mentor also admitted he hated writing dialogue, but that sometimes you just gotta.

5. Which place in your stories would you like to live? (i’ve read this sentence ten times and i ain’t convinced it’s grammatically correct lol)

(maybe: In which place/where in your stories would you most like to live? I dunno this one’s freaking my brain.)

Linsay would be the best place to live, I think. A very chill small town that has everything you need, very supportive soon-to-be friends, an apothecary on stand-by, and lovely weather. Its residents are fiercely protective and are very willing to look the other way where the law is concerned if it helps someone.

6. Do any authors/books influence your writing? Which ones?

Oh, tons. Jim Butcher, Laurie Halse Anderson, George Saunders, Anne Valente, Tolkien, Gaiman, Matt Bell, Aimee Bender, and a whole bunch more authors. And, if you wanna get all heartfelt about it, every single book I’ve read has influenced my writing, whether it’s learning how to do something, learning how not to do something, or finding a new technique that jives with my style.

7. Pick one song that represents your wip.

I’ve done a bunch of song stuff with H2H, so this is for “Fish Food:”

Honestly, my first instinct is “Superboy and the Invisible Girl” from Next to Normal. But it’s not quite right.

I also wanna say “Super Friends” from Holy Musical B@man.

But in my heart, I know the true answer is “Under Pressure.” How could it not be?

8. Favourite thing about being a writer?

The feels! I love writing things and getting my own feels out, then making other people feel things. It’s so satisfying.

9. Characters or plot, what came first?

Characters! Oh my God, always characters. And before characters, concept and theme(s). Sometimes a scene just pops into my head and I have to figure out who these people are and why they’re there.

10. Do you like writing prompts?

I do indeedy. They’re pretty helpful when I’m stuck. I only write for the ones that instantly spark an idea in my brain, though. All the ones I’m getting for my 800 followers celebration are insanely good.

11. Part of your wip that you’re most excited to write?

Oh, man! So many!

H2H: The climax! Well, one of them. The one of the magic incidents and Mel and Gemma’s relationship, to be specific.

Fish Food: When my main two dudes meet Lithium! And figure out what’s going on with her. Or anything about Lithium’s real life. Her story is wild.

WYSiOaD: The goddamn rooftop scene that’s been kicking my ass for a month. It’s gonna be so emotional and poignant and great and I can’t wait for it to be over.

#writeblr #amwriting #about me #tag game #writer tag #11/11/11 tag game #my process #my writing process #tunes

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gigilberry · 5 years

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Questions Tag!

Thank you @myreidola for tagging me. I’ve already done this but I’m happy to do this again. It’s been a long, long while since I got to this but for once I find myself free so here goes!

Rules: answer the questions and tag 21 some people you’d like to get to know better

1. Nickname: Pakkodi, Pakkuri, Krithi

Over here it’s Cely :D

2. Zodiac: Taurus

3. Height: 5’2”

4. Last movie i saw: I’m in the very last stages of engineering college hell what’re you expecting lol I’d say it’s this one bollywood movie my friend made me watch with her back in december, an oldie but goodie. It’s called Barfi.

5. Favourite musicians: Sleeping At Last, Twenty One Pilots, Pentatonix, Skillet, Jain

6. Last thing i googled: collage maker (I just finished doing the last of my oc introduction moodboards and I hope I’ll be able to start posting them up some time around next week, cross your fingers ^^”)

7. Song stuck in my head: Misguided Ghosts by Paramore

8. Other blogs: My only one right now is @ohlooksheswriting-wips ^-^

9. Following: 374 (only a handful of them are active and the rest of them I haven’t seen on my dash in months but that’s okay)

9. Do I get asks: Every now and then, usually when I either a) draw something, b) post up one of those ‘send writer asks’ things (that usually gets me about 2, maybe 3 asks, if I’m lucky), or c) that rare, rare occurrence when the moon is gibbous, the planets are aligned, and I have in my possession the emotional reserves needed to interact with a writer regularly enough that they return the favour by sending some asks my way that last one doesn’t happen all that often and i’m more than happy to keep it that way because human interaction drains me and I’m always low battery I’m so sorry

And sometimes I get asks when I reblog a post or two and write in the notes that I’m sad or I’m having a rough time, like when it’s around exams, and then one or two sweet people come into my inbox and tell me that they like me/my blog and that they hope I feel better and Every Single Time I’m always so surprised and happy and I just aksjflsjkfdskjfksdfjsk

10. What i’m wearing: PJ’s :D (old, faded, oversized tshirt & bright party purple cotton pants)

11. Lucky numbers: 5 and 7! Since my birthday is May 7th ^.^

12. Favourite food: Currently in the mood for modakam (it’s a sweet dessert, made for particular holidays). Otherwise, I love lasagna, different kinds of sweet breads, or dahi puri

13. Dream trip: Istanbul (for the cats!). Or if I improve my spanish/japanese enough, then Spain or Japan (haha who am i kidding i don’t have that kind of courage)

14. Dream job: A job where people leave me alone? Something where I’m not being pulled in too many directions, where I get lots of quiet time to myself, and where I learn every day and I’m doing something good for the environment and for the world. So scientist is good, I guess.

15. Describe yourself as aesthetic things: Since I’ve answered this kind of ask already, I got inspired and made an aesthetic moodboard a very long while back. :D

16. Random fact: I start quietly singing to myself when I feel safe and happy

17. Languages: English (somehow that ended up being my first language), Kannada, Hindi, Spanish, Japanese, Hebrew

(and also an ever increasing number of words in tolkien dwarvish and elvish no this has nothing to do with fanfiction at all what’re you talking about hahaha)

Tagging the last 16 people in my notifications (I’ll get a proper tag games tagging post up soon I promise) :

@ashleighmustdie , @elliereblogsmemes , @jessicameats , @rooftop-soliloquy , @farrradays , @alexfireon , @georgiacambrielwritblr , @agentorange-writes , @beingbhavini , @silverartistcat , @captainpenguin-fly , @haunted-by-neptune , @hfkshbdgdjwnwvjkddghwne , @the-writers-blocks , @bethanywritesbooks , @dreamingofstarslight

(don’t worry there’s no pressure to do this ^-^)

#ask game #regarding that last one #that's also how i learnt morse code and various kinds of commonly known codes #through the books i've read in my youth #(and my brief foray into sherlock fanfiction all the way back in 2013)#(but no really i did learn the morse code thing before i got to the fanfiction things thank you)#(i have a feeling if i started reading dr. who fanfiction i just might pick up some gallifreyan)

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elvesofnoldor · 5 years

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kinda went off the rail yesterday and made a dragon age elf oc called Micah, who is based on gwindor and I plan this elf’s story into finley lavellan’s story arc in inquisition and now i decided that after my lavellan and dorian breaks up one year post-trespasser in this fanfic arc i planned for them, they aren’t gonna get back together by the end of the fic. instead, my lavellan is gonna keep taking a break from this relationship and im gonna leave it open like that. like, im not sure if i wanna ship my lavellan with this Micah (whom i actually really love right now), but lavellan x dorian is making less and less sense the more i think about it. And honestly, i dont think any sort of development dorian can have would change anything substantially.

i always have a rough time writing lavellan x dorian, cause the fact that dorian is tevinter, the fact that he shares kinship with slavers and slave owners is just always fucking ridiculous on its own. And given that lavellan is an elf in dragon age universe and there is this history of tevinters enslaving his ancestors and enacting literal and cultural genocide against his people, i always have a hard time justifying lavellan falling in love with dorian and im pretty sure other ppl has that problem too. Also, even though dorian is the head of his house now, we still dont know if he dismisses the goddamn slaves his parents owned, so there is also this bullshit. Then there is dorian “i almost definitely slept with elven sex slaves in the elven slums--who are either socially marginalized people forced into sex work or victims of sex trafficking” pavus talking about how slavery isn’t that bad in tevinter, and then turn around and wax poetic about how same-gender relationships aren’t meant to be about love in tevinter wah wah wah. Anybody who read the codex entry on tevinter culture in da:i knows that same-gender relationships are only frowned upon in tevinter imperium when it disrupts the cis-heterosexual political marriages between noble mage houses, same-gender sex and relationships are in fact ENCOURAGED in tevinter when it happens between slave owners and their slaves. so yeah, i said dorian has never been a fucking victim before, well, this is why. sexuality and class privilege/oppression are intertwined in real world and in fictional universes that mirrored the real world and believe or not, being the top of social hierarchy means dorian got the better end of the bargain. he said, oh, “anything between two men, it’s about pleasure”. yeah, specifically a slaver owner’s pleasure in violating and further dehumanizing a person lol!!! but sure dorian you are so fucking oppressed. im just. i have been wary before, of dorian. because of this slavery thing, and i never really talked abt why. and im just. i am even more wary now. and i still like dorian i guess, but, lmao. i just can’t make lavellan and dorian some sort of great love story, cause it really ain’t one. lavellan fell in love with dorian cause i insisted on having romance interests in every single one of my dragon age playthroughs--especially when it’s a canon one, but honestly he really shouldn’t have. in my fic, they broke up cause finley lavellan knew dorian used to whore around in tevinter’s elven slums/alienages, and someone lied to lavellan and said that dorian is still doing that with lavellan living at his estate, and even though lavellan knew abt the truth later, he still felt gross about sharing a bed with someone who slept with potential victims of sex trafficking, so, they are taking a break for now. it’s just bad ok, lavellan is also in the right, ok. fuck knows whats gonna happen in da4, i doubt it’d change anything--and that’s speaking on the pretence that dorian will even be involved in da4. i have this headcanon abt lavellan crafting a pair of rings for him and dorian in his forge as their engagement rings, i will retain that headcanon about the engagement rings, but the ring might not be for dorian. anyways this is elf oc is based on gwindor, and gwindor’s story is that he was an elven lord (presumably a noldor elf) of hidden kingdom of nagathrond, and he was a valiant and fierce warrior who literally charged inside The Devil Himself (morgoth)’s stronghold with his company after his little brother was brutally executed (god. poor gelmlir) in front of the elven host, unfortunately for him, everybody in his company is killed and he alone was captured and enslaved and forced to work in morgoth’s mine for 14 years. apparently during the 14 years, he was “mutilated”, his hair turned grey during the process, and the experience “sapped his strength” (i think it’s like, spiritual strength, cause it seems elves in tolkien universe draws strength and power of all kinds from their fea aka their spirit). he eventually escaped and he lost his hand in the process, and almost died from losing the goddamn hand, but then he got rescued by another elf. BUT this elf (beleg) got accidentally stabbed to death by his disaster of a human best friend soon after. And gwindor, who’s already dealing with a truck load of trauma himself, was kind enough to comfort and and guide this disaster human dude (who went in shock cause he can’t accept what he did with his own damn hands) and brought him to nagthrond aka his home. but when gwindor needed love and support the most from his loved ones, they all stop listening to him and he lost his previous influence on his people and nobody is there to help him through his trauma, and he ended up feeling like he’s unfit to be loved, which is bullshit. eventually this disaster human dude’s dumbass advice got him and everybody he loved killed. And i was like it’s pretty bullshit that this obviously traumatized character is ostracized from his community for being traumatized, instead of getting the love and support he deserves and i said thats bullshit because in this house traumatized people get to have live happily ever after. so my desire to make gwindor happy inspires the creation of this elf oc. now dragon age elves can’t really be lords or ladies or prince or princess, but the keeper and the keeper’s children are usually descendants of the elven nobilities of the dales, so, that should be close enough. Also i want more dalish mage characters anyways. This elf oc is a dalish mage, his name is Micah and he’s the First of his clan, as matter of fact. I wouldn’t say he’s exactly like merrill, but he does have merrill’s hair colour (dark raven hair but his hair is long), merrill’s eyes (more hazel than just green, but yeah) and merrill’s skin tone (light/pale). he’s also the more studio type, like merrill, and has a more bubbly personality than either of my lavellans. This dalish mage used to love the fade, and he loved the ancient songs he witnessed in the fade the most. Micah also has a beautiful voice and he’s very good at singing and he always carries a little lute with him to accompany his tunes. When he’s not nose deep in tomes about spells and magical theories and ancient texts, he’s out singing in the woods with his lute--he only performs in front of his family or his closest childhood friends since he’s not a people person. While finley lavellan has this appearance of gentleness, he can be quite ruthless and cold. And lavellan is more of a natural leader type of person. Micah, on the other hand, is truly a soft and gentle soul and is really not the kind to truly be a leader of any kind.

so what happened is that, Micah is from a clan that’s always travelling around ferelden. they settled around denerium when the fifth blight broke out (that was events of da:o), but specifically he went to the denerium alienage to trade some goods with the shop keepers at least two weeks prior to the warden’s arrival at the alienage. However, he noticed the presences of the tevinters, become worried for the alienage’s safety since he suspects these are slavers, and he’s locked in the quarantine inside because of the spread of the plague. shianni found him trying to warn the sick alienage residents and shared her concern, but at the time shianni is just suspicious and not openly oppose to the tevinters’ presences. now in da:o, im pretty sure if you are an elf warden at least, you can feign sickness and get “admitted” in, but then you’d get stripped of your belongings and had to fight 14 tevinter enemies with literally no weapon so im pretty sure you weren’t supposed to do that (i did that cause i was a dumbass). so what happens is that Micah tried doing that, he ended up fighting a dozen and more soldiers with no weapon or any sort and was quickly subdued. And he was shipped away with the rest of alienage residents before the warden ever got to confront the tevinter slavers unfortunately. he just turned 20. Then after his disappearance, shianni becomes more openly oppose to the tevinters’ presences at the alienage since she’s more convinced that something fishy is going on. so...a tevinter magister had him....for 10 years. that guy is a blood mage and he’s also like, basically danarius. so like, a demon. Not gonna go into detail about what happened because i dont like to talk too much about actual events that caused the traumas, i just wanna talk about the recovery and dealing with the trauma. but, basically, micah revealed right away that he is a mage, hoping the status of being a mage’d get him released in tevinter but that didn’t happen and the magister kept using his blood to fuel his spells, since his blood is potent with magic. later, the magister also experimented on him with semi-refined lyrium to make his blood even more potent but the experimentation failed and permanently blinded Micah and turned his hair white and he received a long scar from the left eye that goes straight down to his lips and continues down the right half of his torso. Basically, instead of losing a hand like gwindor, Micah lost his sight. And apparently, in canon, king maric got captured by this tevinter blood mage magister dude and alistair had to go and save him or whatever but king maric was hooked to this machine and trapped in this dream-state in the fade so that the blood mage can use his blood and life force to fuel spells. so after Micah is blinded and disfigured and deemed not as “useful” as he is before, what happened to king maric sort of happened to him, but he didn’t spend long enough time hook to the machine so he isn’t gonna die once he’s unhooked from the machine. for a while, Micah doesn’t even know he was trapped in a dream, and when he realizes he’s trapped in the fade, he couldn’t get out and back into his body. Events of inquisition start to happen, this tevinter magister is obviously a venatori, and he went south after the inquisition started to fight the venatori everywhere, probably as reinforcement. he brought Micah with him. And i think my lavellan either confronted this blood mage at hissing wastes (maybe it’s the moutaintop camp? maybe it’s after you cleared out the venatori at hissing waste and he came as reinforcement?). not to digress but i’d love to fight a blood mage in inquisition but that was not meant to be, so it’s happening in this oc fanfic scenario. Inquisitor finley lavellan had a very hard time trying to get to this guy, and know he’s a quite a powerful mage, and he is forced to retreat with his companions and inquisiton soldiers to the camp. This time lavellan decided to sneak in while his party member created a distraction outside, and once inside the camp, he discovered poor micah hooked to a machine--presumably the source of the magister’s power. pegging the machine as something that traps the elf in the fade, lavellan connects himself to the machine and went to find micah in the fade. With lavellan’s help, micah is able to break away from the eternal dream and wake up. his body is obviously frail from spending a few years immobile, so lavellan tried to sneak out with micah in his arms but they were confronted by the magister who brought numerous archers and ambushed them at the lobby (inside some mountain at hissing waste), lavellan opened one or two rifts to suck in the archers, and petrified the magister with earth magic enhanced by the anchor’s connection to the fade (the magister is immobile and his flesh is slowly hardening from the earth magic but he’s alive and acutely and painfully aware of what’s happening to his body). Micah is the one who got the tear the magister from limb to limb with his own magic and explode him into chunks of meat, avenging the abuse that’s done to him. and finley brought micah with him to skyhold and there he rests and recovers. finley, inquisition mages (not dorian though, him being tevinter mage and a mediocre healer and all, it’s more like, vivenne and solas actually) all help to nurture him back to health. he become healthy again, even though he is still blind and his hair remains the same grey white colour and the scar that disfigured his face is unremovable. Micah unfortunately becomes afraid of the fade and hates it when he dreams, sometime he’d wake up terrified, not knowing if he wakes up from a dream or if he just drops into one. It was with finley’s help that he become more aware of what’s dream and what’s reality. while Micah’s at skyhold, micah and finley becomes good friends as finley constantly visits him and even brings him a lute after knowing micah loves to play and sings. they become close enough that micah is comfortable singing to finley. micah didn’t get involved with inquisition business while he’s recovering, however, he did discover a way to “see” with the tap of his feet and sounds bouncing off object, kinda like how toph (btw i love toph) “see” with passive earth bending. i like to think micah always favours earth magic and telekinesis and rarely uses other elemental magic. Micah ends up combining his telekinesis skills with a form of weaponizing sounds (it’s sound bending lmao) and develops something very close to the force mage specialization in da 2. aka pushing people off with force of sound, manipulating gravity. And Micah uses sound to “see”, basically. And singing evolves from a hobby to necessity, since humming/singing or playing an instrument allows him to “see”, so that he’s not trapped in an eternal darkness. with finley’s help, micah finds his way back to his clan still wandering around ferelden and they tearfully welcomed his return after presuming him dead for years. That was like, right after the events of inquisition main game concludes. Then three years later, micah crosses finley again in tevinter out of all places. turns out that micah has seen the dread wolf/solas in the fade and he was offered to join him but micah is loyal to finley and did not answer. More importantly, ever since micah is back, he hate it that everybody pities him. even though his clan loves him still, they treat him like a broken fragile thing who can’t take care of himself. And micah, is able to walk around and goes about his daily business as anybody who has their sights, is sick of people pitying him. The fact that he is no longer the First as he is seen incapable of becoming the keeper angers him (and micah is almost never angry), so he willingly left the clan and started his own journey to find out more about the dread wolf and that journey allows him to cross path with finley again. when micah met finley again, finley has already break up with dorian and now lived in the cottage he built somewhere in the woods at the outskirt of some city. There, they both devised the plan to venture out to ruins of Arlathan as companions to find out the truth about the blight and solas’ plan/stopping solas.

#yolanda talks #finley lavellan

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