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#i am specced for three (3) things

hiro-doodlez · 3 months

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Happy Valentines!! Since it's that sad boy time of year for me (for reasons my aroaceness will explain) I have 2 books about being on the aroace spec that I think anyone looking for, uhh validation would enjoy!! Theyre a joy to read and very very comforting on bad days!! More about them under the cut :3

LOVELESS

Loveless is a novel that tells Georgia Warr's story of finding out she's the A in the LGBTQIA+ community. This book has so many quotes that make me just want to cry, like WHY are you this good.. please mx alice oseman STOP THIS ATTACK ON MY HEART “In the end, that was the problem with romance. It was so easy to romanticize romance because it was everywhere. It was in music and on TV and in filtered Instagram photos. It was in the air, crisp and alive with fresh possibility. It was in falling leaves, crumbling wooden doorways, scuffed cobblestones and fields of dandelions. It was in the touch of hands, scrawled letters, crumpled sheets and the golden hour. A soft yawn, early morning laughter, shoes lined up together by the door. Eyes across a dance floor. I could see it all, all the time, all around, but when I got closer, I found nothing was there.” my fav quote: “I'm at uni for three months and suddenly I'm not straight any more.” “I used to dream of a spellbinding, endless, forever romance. A beautiful story of meeting a person who could change your whole world. But now, I realised, friendship could be that too.”

IS LOVE THE ANSWER?

Is love the answer? Is a manga following a girl named Chika figuring out she's (aro)ace. The entire thing has AMAZING art and just some of the most.. i feel you buddy lines i've ever read. For example: "I see. I just haven't met "the one" yet... yeah. I'm sure that's all it is." "I'm asexual. That's what I am. There might be other possibilities. Maybe a year from now I might identify differently. But right now, that's what feels right to me."

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #aromanticism #asexuality #aro #ace #alice oseman #loveless alice oseman #is love the answer?

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scientia-rex · 4 months

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Best Things I Have Bought

I'm not sure how successful I will be in remembering all of it, but I'll try. These have all been game-changers for me, in a variety of ways. If teen me had had access to all of these, I would have been a vastly happier person.

This one is long, so I'll put in a cut.

-outlet timers. Not having to go around and manually turn off lamps at bedtime? Amazing. I bought these but you can and should get some that have a grounded outlet with three prongs so you can attach good extension cords to them.

-famotidine. aka Pepcid, it's the safest option I currently know of for managing acid reflux. I get nauseated when I get acid reflux, so this is a necessity for me.

-T-Gel shampoo. The only one that keeps my husband's insane dandruff under control. Coal tar shampoos smell peculiar, but are totally worth it if they work. For my hair, I like anti-dandruff conditioner--I apply it to my scalp and my other conditioners to the length of my hair. After bleaching my hair, I use Olaplex 3 to prevent more severe damage; the difference is very noticeable.

-white vinegar for a laundry rinse. I get horrendous contact dermatitis and adding this in the "fabric softener" cup in my washer keeps things from making my skin burn.

-on a similar note, all Oxy laundry booster. Doesn't make my skin burn but does make stains and smells noticeably better than detergent alone.

-Aquaphor. If you have eczema, nothing helps like Aquaphor, unless it's hydrocortisone ointment (the same white petrolatum base as Aquaphor but with hydrocortisone) or a prescribed steroid.

-Bissell Stomp 'N' Go pads. I have stomped. The stain goes.

-Prune puree. A packet a day keeps the chronic constipation at bay. Less volume to consume than prune juice and, in my opinion, slightly more palatable.

-Chinotto is a bitters-based beverage that I discovered by accident really helps my chronic nausea. I've tried other brands, and San Pellegrino is definitely my favorite. Tastes weird at first, but when heavy-duty ginger ale doesn't ease it, Chinotto can. And when that doesn't work, I have Zofran (ondansetron) my doctor prescribed me for the nausea I get with migraines, and that's an effective anti-nausea agent for more than just migraines.

-"You Just Need to Lose Weight (And 19 Others Myths About Fat People)" by Aubrey Gordon.

-rolling laundry cart. Doesn't have to be this one but if you CAN roll your laundry to and fro from the machines, do it.

-"Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. If you Google, you can usually find a free pdf floating around.

-"The Vagina Bible," by Dr. Jen Gunter.

-satin scrunchies. Wet Brush. Terry cloth lined shower cap. AOA terry cloth hair turban (way, way better than similar ones from drugstore).

-stretchy work pants.

-bra liners. For large-chested people who tend to get sweaty underboob, this is a life-saver.

-Goo Gone.

-Dr. Scholls medicated foot powder and the Earth Therapeutics tea tree oil foot spray. The foot powder works for super long days and the spray for lighter days.

-Reflective heat pad. I use this on my car seat in the winter and I am so happy for that every single chilly morning. I've repurchased it... once or twice? now.

-Retin-A. I used to use Differin, which is adapalene, the most potent retinoid available over the counter, but the switch to prescription-only Retin-A has been very noticeable. Decreased wrinkles, clearer skin. More inclined to flake and burn but it's worth it for me.

-Red LED therapy. Near-infrared stimulates collagen production in the skin. The only other thing that really does that is retinoids. I bought the Omnilux mask, which is certainly high-end, but HotandFlashy (a YouTube content creator) did a great comparison of different masks available by specs and this was the best at the time. The difference is noticeable within days. I've tried other, lower-powered masks, but what made me make the jump to high-end was that I got the Dennis Gross red LED eye mask for crows' feet off eBay and I was like "holy shit, this is better." And Omnilux is better still. It makes sense, since they were the OG of the models that have been in dermatology clinics for a couple of decades now.

-AOA foundation has been at least as good at my TooFaced foundation, and it's like 1-2 bucks instead of 40. There are light, medium, and deep shades, each on different pages; I'm linking to light because that's what I use. The lightest shade works for me, and I'm basically translucent.

-AOA VitaGlow tinted moisturizer is absolutely my go-to for lighter coverage days.

-AOA PawPaw blending sponges. Best out there and also the cheapest.

-(do not buy any of the AOA eyeshadows. Total waste of time, zero pigment. I've tried repeatedly and they're just garbage. The highlights are generally fine though.)

-Direct acid foot peels. The calluses come off. Just don't do it when you have ANY open wound on the feet, because it's acid and will sting like hell.

-blendercleanser solid cleanser for blending sponges and brushes. Actually a) gets them clean and b) rinses out.

-PureWine wine wands. I let these puppies sit for three minutes in a glass and suddenly I can drink red wine without migraines or hangovers. Fucking miraculous.

-Dustbuster. Holy shit it's amazing for ADHD peeps. Small thing bugging you? Can't get yourself to bust out the "real" vacuum? USE THIS.

-Crocs. Don't @ me. I wear a black pair around the house and for garden chores and they make my feet happy. Salonpas patches and/or BenGay for a topical when you're sore--topicals are great pain relief.

-Vibrating neck pillow. Don't need it right now? Wait until your next head cold. Vibration clears sinuses.

-PooPourri. I love not having to smell poop. This, and similar products, work pretty well by trapping scent particles in the oil layer instead of letting them evaporate into the air.

-Electric snow thrower. I can't manage a large, heavy snow blower and I don't want to deal with a gas engine. This little guy helped me clear my large driveway in 3-4 hours instead of 12.

-The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, by Carl Sagan.

-Handheld home IPL for hair removal. I ordered this exact one and I like it. You can get these on eBay or Amazon for cheaper sometimes; just make sure you PROTECT YOUR EYES during flashes. Targets pigment in the hair bulb so lighter skin and darker hair work better, and deeper skin tones may burn.

-Lanolin chapstick. Makes all other chapsticks I've used look like garbage.

-Steam eye masks. ShopMissA sells these and you can find them on a lot sites; shouldn't cost more than about a dollar per mask. I ended up buying an electric eye mask because I wanted to treat my dry eye and that just felt more environmentally responsible, but I love falling asleep with these on and I can't do that with my plug-in mask.

I think this is where I'll leave it--I've gone back quite a ways in my shopping history across multiple sites and thought about my daily routines--but if any of these problems torture you, these are my suggestions.

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aroacesafeplaceforall · 7 months

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You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia” but where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss? When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet? Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be.

I got my laptop out for this, goddamn. Where would i even start?

"You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia”" This tells me everything about you, you possibly don't believe in aro/ace identities. You don't believe people can hate on, or be hateful to, aro/ace spec people. And yes I am pissed. Because it was fucked up.

I would try to justify it with "if this was transphobic/homophobia you wouldn't be acting this way" but im guess you don't care about that as you obviously don't see it the same way.

you were also probably someone who sent asks like this (but more hateful) in 2016 and before, you were probably also someone who posted and reblogged aphobic content and said it was "just a joke" later while still sending asks like this to people. Take of that anon and show your face coward.

"where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss?"

where is the accountability for the homophobia, biphobia and transphobia still spewing out of ALL lgbtqia+ spaces? Where is the accountability in the REAL world? Where is it anon? Where is the accountability for the acephobia, the arophobia and so many other "not real sexualities/gender identities" -phobias?

You saw a post about aphobia, and instead of being like "yeah that was f-ed up" or "i dont care" you went "but what about meeeeee" which is very all lives matter of you. (I am not comparing racism to homophobia, however the "what about me" bs can be summed up very easily using all lives matter as an example) For the fucking record, all spaces have assholes, all of them. On behalf of the "normal" aro/ace spec folks, i apologise for any homophobia, biphobia and/or transphobia you have experienced from us. "When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet?" This is a main aphobe talking point so thank you for doing this by the text book so i can break it down easier!

Three pages about asexual hate crimes which im sure every average cishet has to deal with (assuming their white and male) 1 2 (a booklet for asexual people to be actually fucking included) 3

An incredible interview is here but im going to quote a few things from it as theres a 99.9% chance aphobes wont click a link

"We know aromantics and asexuals have existed for as long as humans have. However, it’s only through the terminology recently going mainstream"

"Because of Freud’s influence, many of us grew up learning that our sex drive is the primary motivator of human behavior, but that isn’t the case."

"That mindset replicates itself within the community so that when a new identity emerges, or when people try to explain themselves, there is resistance and pushback from within the community with the mindset that “if we let these kinds of people in, then that will dilute the access to power and resources we have.” And it forces the community to maintain adjacency to white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, ableism and classism, all while leaving behind entire groups of people."

" Do you think there will be more identities joining the LGBTQIA+ acronym? JP: Yes. The more words we have to describe ourselves, the better we are understood."

"The biggest comparisons are the lack of visibility and exclusion from communities on the basis that they’re weird, different, othered or “don’t belong in this space.” Every queer person has experienced this narrative and as more join under the umbrella, the newbie will experience the same challenges, discrimination and misunderstandings as those who came before." and here is another article that has a quote i just live by

"When did trauma become the mark of queerness?"

but back to the aphobe ->

"Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. "

if you think queer = sex then so help me. queer does not equal sex, queer is sexuality. and guess what that is NOT always sexual. sexuality is who your attracted to, whether it be romantically OR sexually.

and Asexuality is a spectrum, some asexuals never have sex, some don't want to have sex but have had it due to trauma or peer pressure, some don't care for it, some did it for a partner but just dont care about it.

same with aromantic. Its a spectrum. By your process here, so so so so so many people are removed from the lgbtqia+ community but you couldn't possibly mean that-

"And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be."

-oh you did.

So none of these are part of the community either then? Agender, Bigender, Intersex, genderfluid, pansexual, omnisexual, Omnigender, Questioning, transgender and queer?

interesting anon.

Anyways i hope my followers enjoyed that! Let me know what you think if you finished reading all this!

Love;

An aegosexual, pansexual, aromantic, trans guy with to much fucking time on his hands.

#tw apobia #ask #asks #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aro #ace #aro pride #pride #lgbtqia #ace pride #ace problems #aro problems #cw aphobia #aphobia

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fluentmoviequoter · 4 months

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Fun While it Lasted

Part 2 of Is It Fun?

Pairing: Dalton Lambert x fem!reader

Summary: Months after Dalton hurts you, Chris finds out why.

Warnings: spoiler for all Insidious movies (Parker Crane's story line), angst, fluff, brief mentions of harm against reader, Specs and Tucker

Word Count: 2.1k+ words

A/N: So... this was requested 3 months ago during Fic-tober 2023. And then I forgot I agreed to write it. I am so sorry for the long wait, but I think this is better than anything I could have written at the time. Sorry again, but I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!🤍

It’s been three months since you saw Dalton. Losing him hurts, and his voice has been a constant echo in your mind.

“It is fun.”

Even after all this time, surviving winter break without him, returning to school knowing it will be different without his welcome, you still miss him. Dalton Lambert hurt you, and in the process, you lost everything you had grown to love.

Someone knocks on your door, and you open it without asking who it is, too lost in your memories to consider who it is or what they could want.

“Chris?” you ask, looking down the hall quickly.

“I’m sorry,” she begins, pushing you inside and closing the door behind you. “I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Ignoring you. For believing Dalton, I guess?”

You furrow your brows and shake your head, keeping room between yourself and Chris.

“He told me that you two broke things off and I just assumed that if things were amicable, I’d see you around, you know? And when I didn’t, I thought you were mad and decided that seeing me would include seeing him too. I don’t know what I thought, but I was wrong and I’m sorry.”

You rub the space between your eyebrows, trying to remove the crease Dalton and Chris seem determined to make permanent. The simple mention of Dalton’s name takes you back to that day in October. After months of crying yourself to sleep and tearing yourself apart to find what made him want to hurt you, you thought you were beginning to move on. Yet a few words from Chris make you ready to break down again.

The worst nights are when you think the red door opened again, which could be why he pushed you away. Remembering that movement in the shadows after you returned to your dorm haunts you. You try to forget or convince yourself it was a trick to lessen the hurt.

“So, why are you here?” you ask Chris.

“I think it’s happening again,” she confesses.

You look up at her quickly, shocked but not completely surprised.

“That’s not possible, Chris. He’s been with his mom and dad for weeks; they would have noticed.”

“He hasn’t been the same. If I’m right and there’s something going on, he’s doing a really good job of keeping it covered up.”

“Then what happened that made you come here and try to convince me to help you? That’s why you’re here right?”

“Because this is about you!” Chris exclaims, gesturing with her arms. “This started in October, as far as I can tell, right after whatever happened between you two.”

“What did he tell you?” you whisper.

“Just that he broke it off with you. Every time I asked why, he dodged the question or told me to stop being nosy.”

You chuckle as you imagine Dalton saying that. Shaking your head, you sit against your bed and decide to tell Chris the truth.

“That’s not exactly how it happened. He had been making plans with me and then never showing up, avoiding me, and I got worried.”

Chris nods, moving to sit beside you.

“So I went to his dorm to check on him, and he basically told me that he didn’t want to see me anymore and that I should have taken the hint.”

“What else?” Chris presses after you fall silent.

“He told me it was fun to see me hurt,” you answer quietly, fiddling with your fingers as you stare at your hands. “I wanted to stay and make sure he was okay, but I ran.”

“Was there anything off or unusual?” Chris lays her hand over yours, an understanding and friendship in her eyes that you missed.

“I- it was probably nothing.”

“When it comes to Dalton Lambert, the smallest things are usually something,” Chris reminds you.

“After I got back here, I thought I saw something move in the shadows. I’ve wondered pretty much daily if that was really Dalton.”

“The last time he was possessed it was obvious. But seeing things moving in the shadows isn’t a typical response to getting dumped.”

“We weren’t even together,” you remind her with a sad chuckle.

“But you were going to be. You both cared about each other, and I know you still care about him.”

“You really think he needs help?”

“I do.”

“Then what do we do?”

“I have an idea. But it requires you seeing him again.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“I think I would have noticed,” Josh argues.

“Just hear them out,” Renai says, placing a hand on Josh’s arm. “What exactly makes you think something is wrong?”

“Did Dalton mention her?” Chris asks, gesturing toward you.

“No. Not really, I mean, he mentioned they broke up and I thought it best not to pry,” Renai answers.

Josh’s gaze is on you as he answers, “You were all he could talk about in the Further. I thought it was strange that he’d let you go after that, but what do I know?”

You smile at him, tugging on your fingers as you think.

“Have you dealt with something like this before?” you ask.

“Yes,” Renai answers. “When Dalton was younger; well, you saw the picture with the hammer. That seems similar. Whatever possessed Josh made him so different and wanted to kill me and the kids.”

“Parker Crane,” Josh adds. “He was banished, but the Further is a- a strange place.”

You glance over at Chris, who takes the lead.

“Could you find out what, if anything, is happening?”

Josh sighs but nods. “If something is in Dalton’s mind though, it may know I’m digging. It’ll come after the people closest to him.”

“We need him back,” you whisper. “No matter what it costs.”

“We’ll get him,” Josh promises, resting a hand on your shoulder. “He escaped the Further for you once, the two of you can survive whatever this is.”

Assuming there is something, of course, and Dalton isn’t just here to hurt you.

✯✯✯✯✯

Your heart is racing. Even though you know Chris, Josh, and Renai are standing by, you are terrified. The Further doesn’t scare you, but the idea that Chris is wrong and that Dalton truly hates you creates pure fear within you.

“What do you want?” Dalton asks when he sees you, blocking the door with his body.

“Answers,” you reply, forcing your voice to stay steady. “Tell me why.”

He laughs before asking, “Why what?”

“Why did you treat me the way you did?”

He moves forward so his face is mere inches from yours, smiling as he says, “Because it was fun. While it lasted, at least.”

“Is that the truth?” You’re going off script, but now that you can see him so closely, you know this isn’t your Dalton. “Or do strong women just scare you, Parker?”

Chris and Josh yell your name as Dalton – or his body, at least – pulls you into his room and slams the door.

“Go find them!” Renai tells Josh.

He nods, running toward Chris’s room to enter the Further uninterrupted. Saving Dalton is something he doesn’t mind doing; he loves his son but knows Dalton is just as tired of this as he is.

The fight against and within the Further was supposed to be over, not extending to people he loves.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Dalton, if you’re in there, I’m sorry it took me so long,” you pant, clawing against the hands on your shoulders. “But we’re here now.”

“You should know by now that Dalton doesn’t care when you show up, because he won’t come at all!”

✯✯✯✯✯

“Dalton!” Josh yells.

“Dad?” Dalton whispers, looking up with weary, glassy eyes. “How’d you find me?”

“Chris and your girl figured it out. Sorry it took us so long.”

“That’s what she said.” Dalton looks up, his eyes wild as he searches his dad’s face. “How long has it been?”

Josh swallows and takes a deep breath before answering, “At least three months.”

“What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything, you know that,” Josh soothes as he pulls Dalton’s restraints off. “I don’t know how he got out, though.”

“We have to help her. Parker’s going to kill her.”

“No, he isn’t. He’s not strong enough to take all seven of us.”

Josh pulls Dalton to his feet, hooking his arm under Dalton’s shoulders to support him.

“Seven?” Dalton repeats.

✯✯ Yesterday ✯✯

“It seems that Parker just fell back into his old ways,” Specs answers.

“His mother’s spirit is still gone, so there’s a chance that talking sense into Parker could work,” Tucker adds.

“How do I do that?” you ask.

“Remind him of who he is – just Parker Crane, not the creature his mother created or wanted him to be.”

“And if that doesn’t work?” No one answers; you’re sure that is better than the truth. “I’ll try to talk him out of it, then. I do have one more question though: can Dalton hear me?”

“Most likely,” Tucker answers solemnly.

“Can he fight from within the Further?”

“Yeah,” Josh answers. “I’ll fill him in as soon as I find him, and we’ll go for Parker’s spirit.”

“How likely is it that this will work?” Chris inquires.

“50/50,” Tucker answers. After a stern look from Specs, he corrects, “60/40.”

✯✯ Today ✯✯

“Dalton, we have to find Parker’s spirit and remind him that the bride in black doesn’t have to kill anymore, that he’s free,” Josh says.

“Okay. He usually stays over there.” Dalton points to a small area filled with toys from Dalton’s memories. “But he gets grumpy.”

“Sounds familiar.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“You don’t have to do this, Parker. Everything that your mother said and did was wrong. You are your own person, and you can choose to stop!” you cry.

“She’s in my head!” he grunts, smacking his knuckles across your cheekbone.

“Then stop listening.”

Tears build in your eyes as he yells again.

“Dalton, tell him that parents give us life, but they don’t define it,” you say quietly. “Take your life back, Parker, and don’t prove her right.”

Parker takes a step back at your words, his eyes dropping.

✯✯✯✯✯

“I can choose,” Parker repeats quietly. “How do I stop?”

“Surrender,” Josh answers. “Give Dalton here his mind back.”

Patrick nods, handing Dalton the toy in his grasp before fading.

“Get to her. Right now,” Josh says. “I’m right behind you.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Dalton blinks rapidly above you, his hands resting on either side of your head as he hovers over you.

“Dalton?” you whisper.

“Hey,” he replies, his eyes clearing as he smiles.

Dalton begins to stand up, but you wrap your arms over his shoulders, joining your hands behind his neck as you pull him down into a hug. He takes a deep breath as he returns the hug, sliding his arms under your waist as he leans against you.

“I’m so sorry,” he says against your neck. “I didn’t mean it. It was terrible to hear you hurting and I wish I could have stopped it.”

“Not your fault, Dalton.”

Loosening your grip on him, you let Dalton pull you up. His eyes search your face, gentle fingertips grazing over your bruising cheekbone.

“Can we go on another date?” you ask quietly. “I missed a bunch. I missed you.”

Dalton leans in, his lips brushing yours.

“We can go on a million. Thank you for saving me.”

“It wasn’t just me.”

Someone knocks on the door, and you move out of Dalton’s lap, settling under his arm as you invite everyone in.

“I should have known it was you two,” Dalton says, shaking his head as Specs and Tucker (re)introduce themselves. “Thank you, Chris.”

“What are saviors for?” she asks with a roll of her eyes. “Glad to see you back to yourself, Dalton.”

“Me too,” Renai adds, pulling you and Dalton into a quick hug.

“Is it over?” Dalton asks.

“Never truly,” Specs answers. “But we’re learning more every day.”

“Just keep a steady stride,” they say at the same time as Josh and Dalton.

“Well, you’ve missed a lot, so we’ll get out of your way, bud,” Josh says, attempting to herd everyone out of the dorm. “Call us when you’re ready to visit. We’ll redo Christmas.”

“I forgot about that!” Renai exclaims as the door closes.

Chris winks at you, and you send her a silent thank you before she exits. Dalton pulls you close, kissing the top of your head.

“Tell me everything I missed.”

“I don’t want to relive it, and I’m not sure you really want to know.”

“Well, then, let’s just have some fun to make up for it?”

You laugh at the idea of something being fun with Dalton again. “Fun sounds good,” you answer, pulling him into another kiss, the first of many to make up for.

#dalton lambert x reader #dalton lambert x fem!reader #dalton lambert fic #dalton lambert fluff #dalton lambert imagine #dalton lambert #insidious #insidious 5 #insidious the red door

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thricegreatmagusaugustusofcrete · 9 months

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Working the Grimorium Verum (P1)

A few weeks ago I decided that I was going to start working the Grimorium Verum. I read and reread and rereread the Grimoire and as much supplemental material as I could get my hands on (I'm referring to all of JsK's pdf books by Hadean Press and that one conjure codex entry by Al Cumins).

Goal/Intent

With that said my primary goal right now is to work towards creating a clay skull, created to the specs Jsk outlined in his notes on the Grimoire in his edition of the book. It is essentially reworking the invisibility spell of the second part into a spell that binds a spirit to the skull. Rather, in his words, "I strongly recommend making a crossroads the place of interment in a reconstruction of this rite using seven coins. The intention of this adaptation would be to make a magical head as a central feature of work with these spirits, a natural extension of the underlying symbolism," (The True Grimoire 160). The only change I am doing to what JsK states is that I am adding grave dirt to the clay for the skull.

The Work I've done thus far

Wednesday, 8/16/23, I began working to get the consecrating the materials necessary for the work. I started the second hour of Mercury at my local graveyard in my town. I asked the spirits of the graveyard to lead me to the grave most suited for my work. I was expecting to be led to a town founder or someone who died violently, rather they sent me to the grave of an old lady who died a hundred years ago on my birthday. This was not intentional on my end. I saw the grave from behind and I felt as though I was being pushed towards it and that it was the right choice for the work. I took the dirt left a coin and promised to pray for her for the next three nights.

I then got home as fast as possible so I could have the second half to craft and consecrate the Asperger and Aspergillus. For the Asperger, I used a black ceramic bowl that I painted the appropriate god names on. For the aspergillus, I took the three herbs, rosemary, (pepper)mint, and oregano (technically you are supposed to use Majoram, but I could not find any in my area and I plan to get the proper plant in the future, but for now both are closely related and I don't think it will do much harm to my work). I consecrated them according to the method in the Third part of the grimoire. Reciting the 7 penitential psalms took long than I thought it would.

Thursday, 8/17/23, in the second hour of Jupiter I engraved a spoon and a knife with Heramael's name and seal. The intention is based out of Goetic Pharamakos, by Jsk where they are used to collect plants in nature for me to work with, such as the branches for the wands. In the 1 night hour of Jupiter I consecrated the two items, however, I slightly adapted the consecration from Jsk's book on Eleogap so that it was to be a general consecration instead of an asperger and aspergillus consecration. The difference between it and the Grimoire's consecration is that it is Thelemic and instead of the psalms it uses chapters 3 and 5 from Liber LXV, which I thought would mean it would be shorter, well it was in the sense that for all things that after you waft the tools of the censer, you are supposed to recite the 7 psalms and psalm 71 and 116, so 21 psalms in total. Personally, I think there is a point where the more you recite over a ritual object the less of an effect it has on it. I could be wrong. Anyhow, below are pictures of the spoon and knife before I consecrated them.

If you have read this far. I thank you and apologize for the length and potential boringness of this blog post. My goal is to generate interest in the grimoire that is less about conjuring all the spirits in it and more about creating spirit relationships. As well as to document my progress and create discussion.

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ultrasofts · 1 year

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any advice on how to get into indycar? i see more posting about it these days and it seems fun but i don't know anyone personally who watches it

Okay, I took like three weeks to reply to this because I am using it as an excuse to make the “Indycar 101 from the perspective of a new fan” post that I have been meaning to make for a while, because I would love for more people on here to watch it!! It’s extremely fun, close racing, with some great talent and interesting narratives. It’s a less polished product than F1, and sometimes upsettingly American, but it’s great and it genuinely brings me a lot of joy.

This primer is light on the history of the series, designed to answer the basic sorts of questions that will come up if you just put on a race and try to follow what’s going on. It’s also 100% targeted at people who watch F1, since, you know, that’s the corner of the internet we’re in.

There’s three basic sections, so feel free to jump around as is useful, because this turned into a probably unnecessarily long post.

Part 1: Basic series info

Part 2: How to follow a race weekend

Part 3: Who to root for

Big thank you to Fir @josefnewgaydengayden for their contributions <3

Part 1: Basic series info

Teams

I think the first thing to know is that there’s no teams championship which imo is a big part of why the teammate dynamic is quite different to F1. Team orders aren’t really a thing, and there’s not really any such thing as a “number one driver” in a comparatively meaningful way

Teams have varying numbers of cars. Anything from 1-4 is common (last year’s grid had that full spectrum). You can also have part time or shared entries - for example Marcus Armstrong and Takuma Sato are essentially sharing one of the Chip Ganassi cars this season, with Sato running the ovals and Armstrong running everything else

Currently, the two top teams are Penske (Power, Newgarden, McLaughlin) and Chip Ganassi (Dixon, Palou, Ericsson, and Armstrong/Sato). Last season the championship contenders at the back end of the season were Power (who ultimately won), Newgarden, Dixon, McLaughlin and Ericsson (yes there were five title contenders down to the finish)

The close competitors - teams what will almost certainly win at least one race this season (very possibly more) and could have their best drivers in title contention are Arrow McLaren (O’Ward, Rosenqvist, Rossi) and Andretti (Herta, Grosjean, Kirkwood, DeFrancesco)

There’s other teams that I will leave you to look up based on which drivers you’re interested in

Cars

The cars are mostly spec—they have the same chassis and aero package. There are two engine suppliers: Honda and Chevrolet, and the tyres are Firestone

Teams are allowed to build and develop some of their own parts, like the brake ducts and certain suspension parts

Overtake assist is Push to Pass rather than DRS — drivers get a set number of seconds per race where they can push a button to get a power boost. They can use it anywhere on track, offensively or defensively, but once it’s used up, it’s used up

Unlike F1, the cars have no power steering. That’s why Josef Newgarden looks like that (jk but also not)

The cars also don’t have anti-stall, so if a car stops on track, you’ll often see it have to be fired up to get going again

Tracks

Indycar races on street courses (street tracks in F1), road courses (equivalent to what just get called tracks in F1, like Barcelona or Bahrain), and ovals

I wasn’t 100% sure about the whole oval thing, but oval racing can be crazy exciting (and absolutely fucking terrifying). I would highly recommend this twitter thread as an intro to Indycar oval racing—and in general Cassie is a great follow for new fans!

The Indy 500 is its own beast and won’t get into it here. Really though, the main difference aside from the Stature and Importance is the qualifying format and the extra entries—in terms of the actual race, it’s conceptually similar to other oval races

Where do I watch it?

If you’re willing or able to pay, Indycar Live is a great deal—it’s only $3/month or $20 for a season pass. They also have individual race passes! You’ll have to use a VPN though, if your location is not on the access list (due to broadcast restrictions)

Otherwise, check whatever the way to access it in your jurisdiction is - in the US/Canada I believe you can get it with a Peacock streaming subscription, and in Australia it’s on Stan Sport (although it is so much cheaper to get a VPN + Indycar Live)

Alternatively, all your usual illegal streaming sites should have what you need!

Part 2: How to follow a race weekend

In broad strokes, it’s very similar to an F1 race weekend. Practice, qualifying and race sessions, although obviously some of the details differ…

These car liveries girl help 😭

This was probably the thing that I found hardest in terms of watching a race and understanding what the fuck was going on - teams don’t have the same liveries on all their cars (although sometimes, e.g. McLaren, they go for similar looks across them), and cars don’t necessarily have the same livery race-to-race

My advice is to just pick a few to learn and pay attention to throughout a race. The livery of your favourite 2-3 drivers, or ones that are really easy to pick out (because they’re bright colours, or just catch your eye, or whatever). Once you know a couple of livery + driver combos, that’s a useful anchor to the timing screen, so you can find who is in front/behind them. You’ll pick it up much faster than you think—and you really do not need to know every single one, I certainly still don’t!

I’ve put the spotters guide for the liveries for the St Pete race just gone below and circled a few I would generally recommend learning. The circled ones are all what those drivers are running this weekend in Texas, with the exception of Josef who has my fave livery of the weekend with the fruity PPG look

Liveries I’d recommend as good starting points: Scott Dixon’s PNC Bank because he doesn’t change much and tbh it always pays to know where he is in a race. Kyle Kirkwood is often in the hot pink Andretti. Josef’s Hitachi livery, and Will Power’s black and red Verizon are pretty easy to spot. McLaren are generally easy to spot if you’re used to looking for the papaya cars - I’ve circled Pato’s papaya and black livery below. Colton Herta’s yellow and black Gainbridge and RoGro’s DHL liveries are also pretty distinctive!

Practice

It’s free practice who gives a shit

Qualifying — Street/Road courses

In generally, it’s really similar to F1—there are 3 timed stages, with a cutoff position in Q1 and Q2. The main difference is that Q1 goes out in two groups, and the fastest 6 in each go through to Q2, and the 12 get whittled down to 6 for Q3

Qualifying — Ovals

For oval races, drivers go out one at a time, in reverse championship order. They get two warmup laps, and then two consecutive qualifying laps

Average speed across the two laps is the driver’s qualifying speed, and the fastest speed gets pole

As I said above, Indy 500 qualifying is its own beast, although it broadly follows the strokes outlined above

A word on the goddamn qualifying timing screen because this is the hill I will die on

Look, if you watch F1 quali, you’ll know enough to follow the basics of a street/road course quali session out of the box

However, the timing screen is not good and you just gotta live with it. The number on thing I wish we could bring over from F1 is the broadcast timing screen and some of the broadcast graphics

When drivers are on a lap, there’ll be a delta time next to their name, and the box with the time will either be green or red. Sometimes the delta time is to the cutoff (i.e. the delta to the person currently in P6) or to P1. Sometimes it’s clear from context which of the two it is, sometimes it’s not. Also because everyone is on the lap, just because someone is green, doesn’t mean they’re safe as everyone else below the cut could also be green, and unless you can do really fast math… no hope. The size of the delta will give you a sense of how safe or not someone is, and if you’re focusing on one driver it’s mostly manageable but it’s not ideal

In general, I would say qualifying matters less than in F1, as the cars are closer in performance and there is in general a lot more overtaking, so I can live with it

Race start

Indycar always has a rolling start — they do a formation lap, then the green flag goes and the race starts as they cross the line. Sometimes I miss the drama of a standing start — lights out in F1 is pretty fucking cool. That said, the Saudi GP of 2021 cured me of the need to ever see a standing start again in my life so it’s good, actually. The start is still exciting and stressful, just a notch or two less so

Pitstops

These really can be chaos personified. There is no such thing as a safe release. Pray to any god you believe in that your guy makes it out alive, especially if a ton of people are in at once on an oval

Stops are significantly longer than F1—the limiting factor is typically the refuelling time, so there’s less of a hustle on tyre changes (although they are obviously still very fast). 7-8 seconds is typical

Races will often have more stops than an F1 race, too—3-4 stops is not uncommon

Strategy

This often comes down to tyre strategy and fuel management

Similar to F1, everyone has to use both a hard tyre (called the blacks, or the primary tyre) and a soft tyre (called the reds, or alternate tyre. This season there’s actually a different alternate compound, with a green stripe, for street courses. So you might see commentators/drivers referring to “sticker reds” when a driver is quite clearly on a green-stripe tyre

Similar to F1, drivers have to use more than one compound; the rule is actually that drivers have to complete at least two laps on each tyre type. Drivers can start on whatever they want and use them in whatever order, but they have to use both

There’s a single type of wet tyre for rain, and also a specific tyre compound for ovals. (Note that oval races don’t run in the rain on account of how it would be extremely fucking dangerous)

Tyre deg management is conceptually similar to F1, and broadly the same strategy considerations apply

Fuel management is absolutely critical and fuel saving strats and ability can make all the difference. I feel like it’s especially critical on ovals although this might just be that it has been for the oval races that I’ve watched. If you start watching Indycar you will, inevitably, hear a commentator talk about how Scott Dixon is a master of fuel saving

Part 3: So who do I root for?

So I am a firm believer that you don’t pick your fave—your fave picks you. But that said, here are some of the narratives for some of my faves, fave-adjacents and popular picks that may or may not be of interest to you. Listen to your heart…

Scott McLaughlin, aka Scotty Mac. Kiwi driver, came across to Indycar from Australia’s V8 Supercars series in 2021 (as a three time champ in that series) and took to single seaters like he was born for it, scoring a P2 in his third ever race (and first oval) and winning rookie of the year. He had a breakout season last year, with three wins and admittedly a bit of a midseason slump. Super fast, super racey. Genuinely a title contender, but there’s a lot of that going round in Indycar. For me the narrative this season is whether he can build on last year and be a proper front runner, and build some of the consistency that was lacking last season

Josef Newgarden, America’s Boyfriend. Handsome in a corn-fed, broad-shouldered, pure American beef kind of way. Two-time title winner, with a hattrick of runners-up trophies. Number one Scott McLaughlin fan. I think the narrative for him this season is if he can find his happy place every single week. He had a frustrating year last year—true win or bin. He won more races than anyone else, but had quite a lot of DNFs too, often not of his own making. Changes to his crew and team meant that things weren’t exactly seamless, and I think it was really clear that it was a frustrating year for him. I really hope he can find some goddamn luck this year, to go with the mountains of talent and hard work

Scott Dixon, the GOAT. He’s won six championships, and has been a contender in almost every season he’s run. He won his first title in 2003, and his most recent one in 2020. Fuel saving king. Nothing in life is as certain as death, taxes, and Scott Dixon being in the title fight. Literally does not matter where he starts a race, you’d be silly to ever assume he’s not going to find his way to the front. Root for this guy if you love a capital w Winner. (And if you’re a FE fan, his WAG is the man who finished 33rd in the 2008 Daytona 500, Dario Franchitti.) Narrative-wise, there’s a few records he’s chasing, and a seventh title would obviously be a huge deal, but his Big Thing is that for a driver with as much success as he’s had, he’s only had one Indy 500 win. It was all lined up to be his last year, but I’m too traumatised to talk about it but a 1 mph pit lane speeding violation scuppered his chances

Will Power, yes that's his real name. Imo Will wrapped up his Compelling Narrative last season, when he won his second title with one of the biggest mindset and energy shift a professional athlete has ever pulled off? Historically a big hothead, he won the title in 2014, but was never able to get it across the line a second time. Last year he came in with a totally different attitude—he was zen as hell, so much so that it clearly freaked out and bemused the commentators because it was a talking point literally ever race. He was Mr Consistency, always always maximising his points and staying out of trouble, and it won him the title. This season it’ll be interesting to see if he can deliver the same kind of energy and performance - signs from race one point to yes

Colton Herta, he’s just a funky little guy! Front man of garage punk band The Zibs moonlighting as a racing driver. You've probably heard of him in some way or another if you're following the McLaren-Ganassi Saga last season, and the subsequent superlicense eligibility back and forth that followed. He's highly rated for a reason: he's IndyCar's youngest race winner, and since his debut in 2019, only three other drivers have won more races than him (Colton won 7, 2 of them in his debut season in a non-clear front runner car). He's still rough around the edges especially when it comes to patience, but you can't deny his blistering pace, car control skills, and racecraft. With Alexander Rossi moving to McLaren, as the most "senior" member of the Andretti Autosport organization this might be the year he's expected to step up. Fights alt right trolls on Twitter from time to time

Romain Grosjean, the ex-F1 driver (there’s a bit of that going round in Indycar). If you’re coming from F1, you obviously know the backstory here. He had a great first year, but a frustrating second one when he moved to Andretti. He’s had two poles, and been close to race wins, but hasn’t closed the deal yet. (Personally I think the man should not try it around the outside of turn 4 at St Pete but maybe that’s just me.) I do think him getting a win is very likely, either this season or next—I don’t know if he’s title contender material yet, but the thing about Indycar is you kind of never fucking know

Pato O’Ward, no. 2 entry on Zak Brown’s list of twinks under contract. I understand why people tend to sort of compare him to Lando, but I personally don’t really see it? He’s a bit of a shit stirrer and trouble maker, but he’s extremely funny about it—he’s annoying (affectionate). Multiple race winner, and general consensus is that he has what it takes to be a champion, but can McLaren Get It Together. He lost out on what should have been a win at St Pete due to an electrical (?) issue and he was incredibly pissed off about it in a way that made me like him enormously. The other potential interesting narrative is the light potential for a McLaren Civil War between him and Alex Rossi which isn’t something that’s expected to happen so much as something I am desperately hoping for

I’ll leave it there otherwise it’ll end up covering half the field because, well… There’s hard-done-by F2 drivers who didn’t have the money or connections or whatever to make it to F1 (Callum Ilott beloved, and Marcus Armstrong), there’s the good-but-never-quite-delivered-on-his-promise Alexander Rossi driving for a new team (McLaren) for the first time in his Indycar career, a 33-year old rookie in Augustín Canapino who’s only ever raced tin tops but has no fear of god or the english language and is doing a full program, including ovals, this year, Florida Man Kyle Kirkwood, a man whose actual name on his actual birth certificate is Sting Ray Robb… the list goes on and on.

So...now what?

Indycar is back this weekend in Texas for an oval race (which had a crazy exciting finish last year) and then in two weeks at the Long Beach street course. I can’t recommend giving it a go enough, and my inbox is always open for questions, and my DMs for in-race screaming (and also questions.) I’m still pretty new to the series myself and almost certainly won’t know the answer but I will do my best and point you to someone who can answer you if I can’t.

If you’ve made it to the end, thanks for reading and pls watch Indycar <3

#this is too long sorry i got carried away #also if i did your fave dirty (sorry marcus ericsson fans he deserves more than this) pls feel free to add your one paragraph #on why someone should root for them #indycar #asks #anonymous

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bomberqueen17 · 8 months

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car shopping part 1

ok i had capslock on when i started typing this and i startled myself, lol. i am. a bit tired and punchy. BUT. All hail my lovely middle-little sister, who volunteered to come take me to car dealerships last night.

Here are my extremely scientific notes on how that went, so that I can narrow down my car choices for definitely for sure:

1) Honda: we went to a Honda dealership, and my mom has a CR-V which I've driven and it's... fine, so I tried the HR-V, which is smaller. The sales guy immediately without asking was like "here you want this one" and had me test-drive a used 2020 model-- low mileage, nice car, but used. "Won't be here in a couple days tho, act fast," he said, and gave me his card. I'd told him this was the very first car of my search and I wasn't in a hurry. He didn't show me anything new, or tell me about anything new, but did say there were often quite long waits for new cars. Gotcha. Like, I'm not mad, but I'm also not going to pay $23,9 for a three-year old car when the current year's model is $24k. You know? I don't care how long the warranty is.

2) Subaru: we went because it was right there. Wandered around the parking lot. Crosstreks look... lower now?? somehow?? than mine? Much lower, don't know why. Specs said same ground clearance but. I'd have to look up what the specs were in 2014. Sales guy came out, asked if we wanted to see anything. M-L said I should try the Forester, so I was like sure, why not; one of the farm workers has a 2020 Outback I figured I'd ask his opinion on, and actually the part time veg helper guy has a recent Outback too, so there's no shortage of those around. So I test-drove a Forester. And like. I hadn't even got out of the parking lot and the guy was like, all casual, "so how's the visibility," and I really looked around and was like holy shit okay i can see through time so I really liked it. It was a higher-end package (had a huge sunroof, i actually really liked that, i'm a shallow bitch i guess) and kept trying to nanny me about leaving the lane on the winding back road but the guy reached over and pressed the button that disables that and it stopped yelling at me, which was great. Anyway. I did not expect that. M-L and I theorized about what kind of guy I'd be to be a Forester guy. "A middle-aged wealthy lesbian with a lot of large dogs," M-L said, and I was immediately depressed to realize that only one of those things is actually applicable. I have no wife and no large dogs. These are major failings of my life. But. I mean. We don't always end up the person we thought we'd be when we were nineteen.

3) Then we got to the Ford dealership, and a guy named Joey was like "ay what's up," and i listed the cars I was interested in and he was like "i can't get those or those but I got Broncos, let's go see one" and walked incredibly fast out into the parking lot without looking like he was hurrying, seriously it was eerie how fast he walked while looking like he was just ambling, and he led us to a "cactus gray" Bronco Sport, said "you wanna try this one? aight hang on" and went back into the building. I was like uh sure, we poked around the parking lot, and then he came back, handed me the key, was like "yah you two go for it, you know the roads around here? yah go see if you like it, I'll be here til eight." and off we went, slightly bemused. But yes, we were quite near M-L's house so she led us around a winding path. The Bronco's hood takes up rather a lot of the view out of the windshield. I raised my seat, which helped slightly. I could not find the right edge of the car and kept straying over into the shoulder. It was so boxy. The visibility out of the windows wasn't fantastic. But it had a lot of zoom and handled all right. Not terrible. I'm not a Ford Bronco guy I don't think, but I liked the Ford dealership folks, they were funny.

The sales manager came out and talked to me briefly and was like "well i mean how many cars are you looking for" and i was like "i have a spreadsheet" and he was like "a what now" and i got my phone out and showed him the spreadsheet Dude made and he was like "your guy is something else" and i was like "i mean, he sure is", and I did feel better about not being a wealthy middle-aged lesbian with large dogs if this is what I have instead but like. I mean. The road not taken etc.

"take notes," M-L said as we got home (after i bought her a sushi dinner bc there was a place right by the dealership and also i wanted sushi), and i was like "yah ok" but this is my notes. i'm sure i'll be able to make sense of them later.

#car shopping #about the author #real life

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vamossainz55 · 2 years

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Moonlight Ch. 4 | Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

hey guys! this is long overdue i know but here is chapter 4. if i'm fully honest i am not too proud of this one, i feel like something's a bit off in the writing? (i cant tell what though). i tried fixing it a few times but im not too sure how to either. i promise the next few chapters will be better. a lot is going on and there's a lot of development so i hope you enjoy <33 (its also a bit longer than usual). anyways superproud of carlos' race yesterday bc the ferrari was not giving and happy to see him in the podium again as always constructive criticism is always appreciated <3

warnings: maybe swearing and alcohol consumption? that's about it.

enjoy! <3

read chapter 3 here

Chapter Four (5.3k words)

Whatever little hope you had of you and Carlos peacefully coexisting dwindled down the moment he had left you in the room. It was embarrassing but the moment you stepped out you had rushed to the bathroom, feeling a weird twisting feeling pulling at your chest.

You had locked the door behind you as soon as you entered the bathroom stall, sitting on the closed toilet lid as you tried to take a deep breath. Get it together. You think to yourself, slowly wiping at your cheeks when you feel them get wet.

You didn’t know what you had expected from that conversation but it definitely wasn’t what had unfolded. A part of you knew Carlos was right, you could’ve reached out to him, but a part of you was also angry.

The words you had told him keep ringing in your ears, and yeah it was true. You weren’t friends. But seeing the way Carlos’ demeanor changed had you feeling sick.

Carlos does take your words seriously though because the next few days it’s clear that he’s trying to drive you insane. It’s petty little things, like taking the seat you were sitting in and making you move, closing the elevator door on you, or even giving you the wrong time for meetings or confusing information.

The first few times are fine but you feel anger and annoyance begin to bubble inside of you and you find your own way of retaliation. You mess up with his papers, hand him the wrong specs, tell him the wrong meeting room. Anything you could think of really.

It’s petty and you feel like you’re ten again but you can’t deny the little feeling of satisfaction whenever you get back at him. It’s amazing how you both manage to sabotage one another to the point where you’re both at wit's ends but still manage to successfully work.

It had been a week or two since you and Carlos had started to mess with each other and you’re rushing to your last meeting of the week, only having noticed that you had it since Carlos had scheduled you in only three minutes beforehand, but you’re used to it really, only apologizing to Tom when you enter the room.

You pause for a bit when you realize it‘s only you three there but you find time to discreetly give Carlos an annoyed look before you're sitting with them at the table.

“Sorry- I hate to be the person to add a late meeting on a Friday but I actually wanted to run some things with Carlos and thought you could help with the notes?” Tom asks and you can’t help but hold back a sigh.

“Yeah, of course.” You say, pulling up your laptop before Tom pulls up some data on his own to show Carlos. The first few minutes pass by quickly but soon enough you’re closely listening to their discussion, frowning when you hear Tom disagree with Carlos’ point on the break. You don’t mean to talk but before you know it you’re butting in.

“I think Carlos is right on this one.” You say quietly and they both give you a look. You chew the inside of your cheek before you’re pulling some of your own papers, pointing to some numbers. Carlos is quiet, a puzzled look flashing on his face but you just simply shrug at him when Tom looks over the data. Work is work and you weren’t going to sabotage that for him.

It becomes a thing when Tom starts inviting you to join most of his one on ones with Carlos and it is never discussed but the dynamic slightly shifts. Sure there were still some comments here and there but overall things with Carlos do get better. You even share a smile or two with him when Tom seems to make a mistake, but getting along with Carlos was still reserved for only those moments.

Reality always slapped you in the face whenever both of you would randomly revert into snarky remarks whenever you weren’t discussing a track, statistics, and the car. Silence was the worst though, and it mainly happened whenever you both arrived first to the room, deciding to sit as far as possible and fiddle on your phones until Tom would arrive, unknowingly breaking the tension.

You had just finished a two hour meeting with Tom, Carlos, and Peter, one of the other engineers in the team when you feel your stomach churn, feeling hungrier than usual especially since you had overslept and missed breakfast. Tom is already rushing to another meeting, quickly saying bye to you all and you take your time to get up.

“Wanna grab lunch?” Carlos asks and you look up a bit surprised. You’re about to answer when you realize he isn’t directing his question to you. He gives you a tight lipped smile before turning to Peter and his back is slightly facing you as a clear sign of no you’re not invited and you can’t help but sigh when Peter easily agrees before grabbing his things and getting up. Carlos doesn’t spare much of a look towards your direction before he’s heading off with him and you feel a slight prickle at your chest.

The past few weeks had been tough as you hadn’t managed to connect with many people in the company. Sure you had a chat with some here and there but it was difficult to connect with many of them as everyone was so busy and they only talked about work really. You were also one of the younger ones and although you were getting more and more involved you still felt like most of them didn’t take you seriously (the price of being an intern really).

You take this moment to check your watch, deciding to grab some lunch anyways as you were feeling quite hungry and you didn’t wanna let your stomach complain further. You head to the cafeteria, smiling and giving some people that you knew a small wave.

The menu in the cafeteria has your stomach growling louder. One of the best things of working in a lucrative Formula One team is that they did in fact know how to treat their employees. There was always a wide variety of options of food, from meat, to gluten-free, carb free and even vegan. The options were limitless and you always ended up wandering a bit too much around the cafeteria as you tried to figure out what you were gonna use as fuel for the day.

“Heard the salmon and rice is good,” You hear someone say and you curiously turn around to find Lando holding his own tray of food that looks suspiciously like the pizza that was offered at the corner of the cafeteria.

“Aren’t you supposed to have your own food?” You ask curiously, remembering how Carlos had complained to another colleague that he couldn’t always just pick at something in the cafeteria. And yeah, you realize that this was probably not the best opening introduction to a new and upcoming Formula One driver but what was done was done.

Lando simply snorts and rolls his eyes. “As long as you don’t tell anyone it’s fine.” He says, giving you a shrug before continuing to watch you. It takes you a minute to realize that he’s staring because he’s waiting, and you sheepishly grab the salmon and rice.

“Per-fect, let’s go.” He says before turning to go sit at one of the tables. You follow him, still a bit confused at how you got yourself into this situation, but having lunch with Lando wasn’t going to hurt.

“I’m y/n by the way, not sure if you remember?” You say once you’re both seated. Lando is already picking up his pizza and taking a hefty bite, nodding as he chews and covers his mouth. You take this moment to grab a spoonful of your food.

“Yeah yeah, I remember. I'm Lando,” He says and you can’t help but roll your eyes at that with a smile on your lips. He gives you a confused look, raising his eyebrows at you as he takes a sip of his water.

“I mean, I just found it funny that you felt the need to introduce yourself. I know you’re Lando.” You say and Lando gives you a nonchalant shrug as he puts his cup down.

“Fair, but I mean I knew you were y/n already. You and Carlos know eachother” He says before taking another bite of his pizza. You have to set your spoon back down to look at him, not entirely sure if you had heard him right. For a second you wondered how much Carlos had told Lando.

You shift a bit in your seat and look around the cafeteria, soon spotting Carlos sitting at the table with Peter and he is looking at you both. He doesn’t even look away when your eyes meet and you’re the one that needs to crack as Lando clears his throat to catch your attention.

“I just wanted to properly talk with you since it was in passing last time. I think we are one of the youngest ones here.” He says with a shrug, “But also I want to let you know whatever issue you have with Carlos, I don’t care.” He says with a shrug before smiling. “So if you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.” It sounds sincere and you can’t help but smile small at him, a bit embarrassed that he felt like he needed to make it clear.

“Thanks, it’s really not that deep. It’s fine.” You say to Lando reassuringly although you’re quite touched by the gesture. You had noticed that Carlos had been very proactive to know everyone no matter what department they were from, always happy to talk about the car, the development, and strategy. On the other hand Carlos barely ever gave you the light of day. It’s not like you could blame him really, the boundaries were clear when you had started. Even though you knew this it still sucked a bit to see everyone connecting with him whilst you both had to be forced to interact.

“How much do you know?” You ask curiously, collecting more food with your sooon.

“Just enough I guess.” Lando says and you bite back your tongue to not ask him for more information. “Although if we are friends you need to do me a favour.” Lando says, leaning closer to make sure you hear him. “You might have to sneak me a snack or two.” He murmurs. You feel Carlos’ eyes burning into you both but it doesn't faze you. You simply grin and nod.

“Deal.” You agree, giving his hand a shake to seal it.

____________________

Lando apparently did take the offer of being friends seriously because the next time he sees you in the cafeteria he invites you to join. It would’ve been a lot nicer if he wasn’t sitting next to a very awkward looking Carlos who clearly did not want you to join the table. You try your best to pretend to not hear him but it becomes ten times harder when Lando just raises his voice asking, “Do you wanna join?” You give another go at ignoring him but you stop in your tracks when you hear him say your name.

“Y/n? Come sit with us.” It’s extra loud this time, and it is far enough that a few people are looking in your direction before shifting their eyes to Lando and Carlos who were sitting at their reserved drivers table. You give Lando and Carlos a smile before nodding and heading to their table, letting out a breath once everyone looks away.

“If you didn’t wanna join you could’ve just said so,” Carlos says, taking a sip of his coffee and you roll your eyes.

“You could’ve at least pretended to look like you wanted me here,” You snark back but Lando snaps his fingers to catch both of your attentions.

“No arguing please/ We’re here for lunch.” He says. You set your tray down on the booth and look at them both. You think about sliding next to Lando but you see him sitting right at the edge so before giving it a second thought you slide into the booth next to Carlos, legs brushing lightly as you settle in the seat. Carlos doesn’t have much of a choice, simply shifting a bit to give you more space.

“How are you guys?” You ask to the table as a way to ease the tension radiating off of Carlos. Lando is the first one to answer, rattling about how his home simulator was experiencing some glitches and how he had to call his brother over to fix some things. You nod along, setting your phone down after taking a look at the time to check for your next meeting.

You turn a bit to Carlos, “And Carlos, how are you?” you ask as cordially as possible before taking a bite of your sandwich. Carlos shifts a bit to face you too, his eyes are looking around the way they always do when he is thinking and his hands are fiddling with his bracelet.

“I’m fine. Excited for the weekend.” He says, looking over from you to Lando. It looks like he’s deliberating on telling you more or not but you see Lando shift and hear a small “Ay” from Carlos that helps you assume he had just gotten kicked. It’s not much but it is apparently enough to get Carlos to share more.

“I just told Lando that one of my sisters is coming over this weekend” He says and your lips twitch to a smile, you had spent a lot of time with Carlos’ family when growing up and you hadn’t heard much of them in ages. One of the hardest things after the break up was saying goodbye to them too.

“Ah really? Ana or Blanca?” You can’t help but ask. Carlos looks at you for a second, as if he was surprised that you remembered them both by name.

“Ana actually,” Carlos says and you give him a small nod.

“That’s cool. Tell her I said hi,” You say with a smile, going to take another bite of your food. You can feel Carlos’ eyes on you and there is a small lull in the conversation before Carlos is speaking up again. It takes you a moment to realize he’s directing the question at you, eyes still on you.

“How are you?” He asks. It’s embarrassing but you feel a certain pressure release from your chest. It had been the first time Carlos was directing a proper conversation towards you.

“I’m alright. Struggling a bit I guess?” You say truthfully, and you aren’t the type to share but before you know it you’re spilling a bit more than intended. “I haven't had the best time connecting with people, and I don’t really have friends outside of work at the moment .” You say truthfully, suddenly not wanting to look at them in the eyes, feeling embarrassed.

“Ah- that’s nothing to worry about. You just need to go out a little. We can always do something. I told you, we’re friends now.” Lando says and you let out a small laugh, his kindness warming your cheeks.

“Of course, yeah. We’re friends” You laugh before nodding. “Okay, I might just take you up for it,” You say before the topic shifts to golf. You simply rest your chin in your palm, quietly listening to the two guys planning their next outing.

___________________

To your surprise the driver that invites you out isn’t Lando, but it’s Carlos. It happens when you’re both having lunch together the next week, Lando having made it a tradition for you all to eat together.

The first few times were awkward but soon enough you and Carlos have small conversations here and there although Lando would clearly be the one talking with you both more.

“You want me to what?” You ask Carlos, mainly in disbelief. He had briefly mentioned his plans with Ana to go to the city center to go shopping and he had looked over your direction, asking you if you wanted to join some time in the evening.

“I told Ana you were here when she arrived and that you said hi and before I knew it she had a whole day out planned and you’re invited for dinner.” Carlos says quite sheepishly. “I tried saying no but-”

“Yeah, yeah. Ana never takes no for an answer.” You say, rolling your eyes fondly at her, a memory popping up in your head. “Remember that time she came with us to the cinema? You had told her not to come with us but she showed up anyway with a ticket.” You say without thinking, letting out a soft laugh.

“Oh my god, yes. I haven’t let that one go yet.” Carlos says, letting out a proper laugh.

“She did that?” Lando asks and you both nod.

“She’s always been like that. I think she crashed our first proper date too.” Carlos says with a chuckle, smiling before taking a sip of water. Your mind still lingers at the question and you find yourself giving him a small nudge, getting him to look over you.

“I don’t mind showing up to see Ana but you can also tell her I don’t really want to join if you know, you aren’t very comfortable.” You say, already expecting him to take up your offer but he surprises you by shaking his head.

“I think it’s fine, she’s missed you a lot actually. Could be nice, no?” Carlos says and you look at him for a moment before nodding.

“Yeah, yeah. When does she want to go out?” You ask, still a bit stunned. Carlos hums before opening his phone to check his calendar. He pinches his bottom lip with his fingers as he scrolls through his schedule before turning it to show you.

“I think she said Friday evening.” He says and you’re leaning a bit closer to look at the time before giving a nod.

“I can do that,” You say, looking over at Lando when he begins complaining about you both ignoring him and you can’t help but snort when Carlos steals his hat from him.

The week passes by quickly and Carlos and you begin to talk a lot more in the office. The awkward lulls and silences aren’t really there. Even Tom notices, making a few off hand comments about the both of you looking more cheery but both just shrug and brush it off.

“So we’ll pick you up at seven, is that okay?” Carlos asks once Tom is heading to his next meeting. You’re slowly tidying your things up, sending Bastien a quick text before you’re looking up at him.

“Seven sounds good. Do you need my address?” You ask and Carlos nods, offering his hand out before nodding at your phone. You hand it over to him and watch him put in what you assume to be his number.

“Just text me the address.” He says, picking up his things and you nod, quickly saving his number before grabbing your bag. “See you later.”

You get home a bit before six and you quickly go shower and change. There is a wave of excitement washing over you at the idea of going out. The past month you had been cooped up in your small apartment, and sure you had gone out by yourself every once in a while but you hadn’t gone out with anybody since you had gotten there. You mainly just stayed at home, watching shows, face timing Bastien or talking a bit with your sister sometimes.

You’re ready thirty minutes early and decide to give Bastaan a quick call before leaving. You fix your hair a bit before holding your phone properly in front of your face, waiting for him to pick up.

“Hi baby,” He says with a smile once the line connects. He’s laying on the bed, shirt off. You squint a bit as you look over the screen as you fix your hair a bit more.

“Hi my love. You’re in bed?” You ask curiously, leaning back onto the couch. There is a bit of shifting before he shakes his head.

“Not feeling too well so I took a day off today. Are you still going out tonight with Carlos and his sister?” He asks and you give him a nod. If you were being honest you had been quite nervous to tell Bastien about it, but as always he was supportive, even encouraging you to go out. He never told you but you knew he was a bit worried about you being alone too much. “What are the plans?”

“I think just dinner and maybe drinks? I haven’t seen her in so long- there’s a lot to catch up on.” You say with a smile. There’s a faint sound of a door opening and you see Bastien's eyes shift. He speaks a bit in french before looking back at you.

“I need to go baby, my mother is over for dinner” He says and you give him a nod and a smile. “I love you, have fun and let me know when you get home” he says, sending you a kiss.

“I love you too, tell her I say hi.” You say with a smile, letting him hang up.

Twenty minutes later you’re heading downstairs, smiling when you see Carlos and Ana in the car right in front of the lobby. You quickly slip out, waving at them as Ana gets out of the car.

“Y/N oh my god. It’s been so long.” She says before she’s engulfing you in a hug. You smile as you hug her back, letting out a soft breath as you do so. Once she pulls away you take a small step back to look over her, smiling wide. .

“Hello, yeah. It’s been like what? Three years?” You say with a laugh before giving her another quick hug.

“A lot to catch up on but that’s perfect. I made a reservation for us at a really nice restaurant. I remember you liked Japanese food, no?” Ana says before turning to the car where Carlos was playing with his phone. “Let’s go?”

You’re about to take the back seat when Ana beats you to it, shooing you towards the passenger seat. “Fine, fine.” You say before ducking your head to get in. You flash Carlos a smile.

“Hey,” You say, putting on your seatbelt as Ana gets in. Carlos greets you back, looking at Ana through the rear view mirror.

“Ready?”

The little bit of nerves you have dissipate after the first few minutes of sitting in the car. Ana is filling up the silence by picking songs to play and asking you questions and updates of your life. It's a bit of back and forth and it’s nice to hear more about what she’s been up to. Carlos even joins a bit in the conversation, but you and Ana do most of the catching up. You learn she’s almost done with her studies, finishing up her degree in Business and that she had broken up with her boyfriend. Carlos laughs a bit when you sigh out a “finally”, nodding with you in agreement.

“He was an asshole.” He says with a shrug to which you both agree.

The conversation stalls for a bit when Carlos announces that you’ve arrived, quickly turning off the car and taking out the keys to give to the valet.

The topic picks itself back up once you’re all done ordering. “So- I forgot to ask you earlier.” Ana says, catching your attention. You gently twist the stem of your wine glass between your fingers, giving her a nod to ask away.

“How’s your love life? Any action?” She asks curiously and you smile before rolling your eyes. Carlos shifts a bit in his seat before looking over you, seemingly curious too.

“Yeah, yeah I have a boyfriend. He’s not here though.” You say with a small smile. “We got together relatively recently. Well actually- I think we’ll be together for a year in a few months.”

“Boo,” Ana jokes, “being single is fun, no?” She asks giving Carlos a nudge. Carlos fixes his hair with a chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah.” He says, leaning back to his chair before crossing his arms, clearly not in the mood to talk about it. It’s clear that Ana wants to pick on it but you quickly catch her attention.

“So Ana, has Carlos been as annoying as ever? Or has it gotten better throughout the years?” You ask teasingly which earns you a scowl from Carlos.

“He’s the worst, I think he’s even more annoying now.” Ana says with a snicker, taking a sip of her wine.

“Yeah thought so,” You say, giving Carlos a shake of your head from disappointment. “He’s always talking about this and that, never wants to shut up hm?”

“Ay, come on, come on.” Carlos says waving his hand at you guys. “I did not miss the bullying at all.” he says but the smile on his face says otherwise.

By the time you finish dinner Ana and you are two bottles of wine in and you clearly can feel a buzz. You were not much of a drinker which really did affect your tolerance levels, and two bottles of wine was a hefty feat for you. Both Ana and you were giggly, the wine having relaxed you both whilst Carlos had limited himself to one glass since he was driving you all home. He had loosened up too though, and you all had been reminiscing about old memories, even reminding each other of some that you had forgotten.

“Remember that time y/n got lost in the house of mirrors in the carnival in Madrid?” Carlos snickers and you can’t help but pout.

“Hey, it was confusing.” You defend yourself, remembering how lost you were. You had spent almost twenty minutes there before practically giving up and waiting for someone in hopes that you could follow them out. “At least I didn’t walk into any of the mirrors.” You snip back, laughing when Carlos’ smile drops

“It was that one time,” he states but before he can say anything else Ana is butting in.

“Yeah but you had a whole bump on your forehead for like a week. We even named it.” She says pointing at the left side of her forehead just for a reminder.

“Oh my god, I forgot about Carlos Junior Junior.” You laugh, squirming away when Carlos tries to pinch your arm as retaliation.

“You weren’t laughing when I had to go back in to help you out. I don’t even know how you got yourself that far in” He says and you smile and shake your head.

“Not at all. I thought I was gonna be there for the whole night.” You confess, smiling at him before looking at Ana.

“You crashed that day, no? We weren’t supposed to take you with us.” Ana nods, not even trying to hide it and Carlos smiles, amused. “I’m glad you crashed, it was a lot of fun. We did ditch you for a good thirty minutes though.” You say with a soft laugh.

“We wanted to get some alone time, it’s not cool to take your little sister on a date.” Carlos snorts but Ana is shaking her head.

“You had the most fun when I was around.” She says confidently and you can’t disagree with her.

After a few more stories you check your phone to look at the time, starting to feel a bit tired.

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” Carlos says, practically reading your mind before waving over to the waiter. “I’ll get the bill, and then we can drop you off, yeah?” He offers.

“Yeah, yeah. How much is it? I can split it.” You offer before Carlos is shaking his head.

“Don’t be ridiculous, we invited you, it’s on us.” And that’s the end of the discussion.

By the time you get home Ana is dozed off in the backseat. You and Carlos had made small talk, mainly about work, but you’re surprised when he tells you he’ll get out of the car to properly say goodbye. He walks a bit to your side of the car before standing next to you and leaning on his car. You lean back as well, watching him cross his arms over his chest.

“Thanks for coming, it was really nice.” Carlos says, looking over at you. “And listen- sorry for the whole thing at work and that whole fight we had. I get why you said we didn’t know each other.” Carlos says. “I just didn’t expect to see you there.”

You nod quietly to his words, giving him a small smile. “I’m sorry too. I could have tried to give you a heads up or something and I wasn’t nice at all when we argued.” You say with a small sigh. “I got too defensive at some point and it was selfish for me to just show up like that.”

Carlos laughs softly and shakes his head. “You’re crazy. It wasn’t selfish at all. You’ve worked hard to get there. They don’t just give the internships to just anybody. You definitely didn’t owe me anything. Plus Tom really likes you now.” Carlos says with a chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah I know. I worked a lot for this.” You laugh softly. “I’m surprised I got it though.” You say, furrowing your brows a bit when Carlos shakes his head.

“Well I’m not.” He says before properly standing to turn to you. “Y/n, you are one of the most hardworking people I know. If anyone was going to make it it clearly was going to be you.”

“Stop,” You say with a laugh, and you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol but you feel your eyes slowly getting wet. You keep your gaze forward, unable to look him in the eye. “Look at you though, you’re living your dream.” You say with a smile.

“Yeah.” He breathes out. “We made it hm?” Carlos asks and you give him a small nod.

“Well, in my case, almost.” You say before taking a deep breath to compose yourself before properly turning towards him too.

“So we’re good now?” You ask, extending your hand out to shake and Carlos shakes his head.

“Come on,” He says before pulling you into a hug. You stumble a bit, still a bit tipsy but you return the hug before slowly pulling away. “We’re good.” He says before taking a step back. “Okay, I should go before Ana wakes up and wants to party or something.” He says making you laugh.

“Alright, alright. Enjoy your weekend with her. I’ll see you on Monday?” You ask as you slowly walk backwards to your lobby’s entrance.

“Yes, see you Monday. Enjoy your weekend too. I hope you don’t feel too hungover.” He teases. You roll your eyes, soon turning to head into the lobby. You turn around to look back and see he’s still outside his car, waiting for you to go in. Quickly you give him a wave, before you head up to the elevators.

The moment you lay in bed is when you finally let out a tired but satisfied sigh. You can’t help but to pull the covers close to you as you think about the evening. Relief washed over you knowing that you and Carlos were good, and maybe even friends now? Before you drift off you remember to text Bastien that you are home, and you grab your phone to do so. You see a text from Carlos, saying Ana and him were already home and you send him a quick thumbs up before you open your chat with Bastien.

You give him a quick text that you’re home and in bed before locking your phone and setting it on your bedside. You doze off with a light feeling in your chest, even thinking about how work would be the following week.

fin.

read chapter five here

taglist: @sgkophie @loverboysainz-interacts @mossafiato @animesimp2 @gridmetro @iamasimpingh0e @ihearttheoriginals @panicforspec @wildflowertaste @hammyknight @im-an-overthinker @serialkillertbh @pierre-gasssllyy @lostinketterdam @organasith @sarasturniolo @azenpal @sukunasrealgf @imsoconfused2903 @dr3lover @nsprinx @hayleyy-l @starxqt @xheera @idkiwantchocolatee @sarahayden

(pls let me know if i forgot you and i'll add you once i can, sorry it's been hard to keep up with everybody!)

a/n: once again thank you for reading <3, i appreciate it big time. also reader and carlos are finally getting along but Bastien is back into the mix 😉. let me know what you think!! Xxx (even if it is points of improvement).

interested in reading more? check my masterlist

#moonlight #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz junior #cs55 #f1 x reader #f1 x you #anywayss #fluff #enemies to friends to lovers #i hope you enjoy #put my whole soul into this even though it isnt really the best

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primeministerofantarctica · 9 months

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A3! reading club: act one (chapter 1-6)

(cw: talking about parental neglect and abuse, orientalism, one mention of suicide)

Hey, ten out of twelve isn't bad, all things considered! This very well could have gone down in October. Also, since it's February (March if you wanna be generous), does that mean everyone in Harugumi's slightly younger than their Year One ages now? Ack, timelines are confusing.

Izumi casually talking about how Yukio neglected her and following it up with "well, it was probably because he loved this theater so much!" is. Oh, girl. No wonder she snapped when Sakyo suggested he'd abandoned Mankai, because if he hadn't loved it, then why did she have to go through with that?

I'm not versed enough in Japanese particles but I recognize "daijoubu" and Tsuzuru watching this trainwreck unfold and saying something along the lines of "are you guys, like, okay?" is extremely funny.

Then we get to Sakuya and Masumi's family situations, which. From a meta perspective, it makes sense to want to give your minor protagonists the freedom that having parents limits. That's why the trope of "young protagonist in kid's spec fic media is conveniently an orphan" is so common. (was? I think it's becoming less common now.) The problem lies in the lack of willingness to follow through with the emotional conflict it creates, or resolve said conflict in a satisfying manner. Sure, I'm assuming they weren't starved or physically abused, but being treated like a burden when you're a child is still fucking traumatizing! Basically I think Izumi Sakuya and Masumi should start a union. And I'm glad later chapters go the reasonably more toned-down route of "my parents have a reasonable amount of trust in me to make these kinds of decisions".

Also, can we talk about Sakuya and Masumi, because they're one of my favorite brotps here. The way Sakuya appoints himself as Masumi's surrogate big brother? He's so eager to potentially share a room with him ;-;. (personally I hc that Ms. Sakuma was expecting another child before the accident or whatever killed them, so Sakuya's been a big brother without a younger sibling all this time </3)

Wow, that doesn't sound like a metaphor for anything! You're right, Izumi, why would you go the easy route of taking something prepackaged and guaranteed when a bunch of wildly different spices can create a delicious meal if you know how to utilize them right?

Am I grasping at straws here. Probably.

The little ka-ching sound effect is adorable.

Tsuzuru, I'd think "antagonist" should be near the top of the list...also, there's plenty of plays that have been pulled off with two or three actors. Just put on "night, Mother" or something. (Joking. Don't look up night, Mother if you're sensitive to themes of suicide.)

"Tsuzuru, you picked this troupe because it had a dorm, right? ...Then maybe our best bet is to focus on more people in your shoes."

"People in my shoes? In other words...."

"The homeless?"

I CAN'T ASJHGSKSDSK

he's literally doing the 😔 face i'm on the floor.

HE'S HERE! Funny how Izumi's right about Citron not being a regular tourist right off the bat. He may not be from another troupe, but he's definitely "in character" right now.

Also, oof. Citron's my second fave in Harugumi after Sakuya, but it's glaringly obvious how much of his character is rooted in orientalism. Sure, maybe it's an act, but why is he talking about how "shameful" showing skin is when his top is (conveniently for us) THAT low-cut.

On another note, I know people have pointed out his distaste for pig's feet as evidence for headcanoning him as Muslim, but I haven't seen anyone point out how he calls Veludo Way a "mecca" of theatre. Like yeah, mecca can just mean hub, but...why didn't they just say hub? Words Have Connotations. I'm not saying this coding is good or bad, it's just a neutral observation.

AND HERE'S THIS BASTARD (affectionate)

Oh, Kasumi! (insert pointing reaction pic bc I've run out of photo space.) It's Kasumi, guys! :D

#astra rambles #a3! reading club

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byrdtrolls · 3 months

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💭

@fantrollology has been in my corner so long and I really consider them like my best friend and anytime I make something I am so excited to share it with them. Spec just gets me like no one else does. Not even just in terms of writing but also because we have oddly similiar lives and I love talking with them about philosophy and math and sex and anything on the earth because they are such a thoughtful and introspective person who is so passionate about so many things. They're also an incredible artist. they showed me like three frames of an animatic they were making in csp once and it was fucking incredible they are so knowledgable about framing and how to use it in storytelling, probably a carry over from their long thoughtfully created comics which I have admired for a while. Just a great chractor designer who makes so many guys with such unique features. I love their writing AND IM SO NORMAL ABOUT FAERIA AND ALASKA and excited to finish what we've started and excited to see what they do next <3 idk man i just love that guy. spec just objectively rules

#robin rambles #ask tag #ask meme

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bloompawz · 3 months

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I redesigned the polysexual flag.

I would love it if this got shared around!

Use it in art! Use it in merch! Use it on your pronouns.page! It's public domain! No credit needed!

Reasons for the redesign, flag meanings, additional flags, templates, silly stuff, and emojis below the cut.

As a polysexual person, I have mixed feelings about the original polysexual flag. The simplicity of the flag is good; it has three stripes and three colors. I also like the color choices in concept: pink for attraction to women, green for attraction to enbies, and blue for attraction to men. The contrast between the stripes is pretty good too, though the contrast between green and blue could use some improvement.

However, the hot pink clashes with the green, which can be displeasing to the eye, or even painful. This clashing isn't as bad on physical merch most of the time. I have some pins and bracelets where it looks just fine. But I think that it's important for the flag to be accessible online too, especially since many polysexual people can't show pride outside of online spaces.

There's also a problem with its similarity to the bisexual and pansexual flags. I know that this was done on purpose to show the identities being related, and I think that this is sorta fine. But...

It can be misleading, as I find that polysexuality is often fundamentally very different from the other "big four" multi-spec orientations, i.e. bi, pan, and omni. Polysexual people are not attracted to all genders, while bisexual people often are, and pansexual/omnisexual people always are. The lack of separation between the polysexual stripes implies that we're attracted to all genders as well, when we aren't.

It also makes it harder for us to stand out on our own. Polysexuality rarely gets its own spotlight independent from other identities. Most often, we just get a passing mention in a post about the broader multi-spec community, or get our flag shown in a post alongside several other flags, if we even get that at all. Our flag being so indistinct only furthers this invisibility.

Polysexuality, as a result, doesn't really get to be its own thing. We're just another tag, another flag, another passing mention of validity to tack onto a post that isn't really about us. This can feel really isolating, especially as many of us don't even strongly relate to the other identities that we're often grouped with.

I don't identify as bisexual, not even as an umbrella term, because I don't relate to common bisexual experiences. I am not attracted to binary men, and I'm not attracted to all genders. But "polysexual representation" is almost exclusively about common bisexual experiences, and it isn't ply-focused. The flag adds insult to injury.

So, I wanted to try to redesign the flag.

I like the colors that are already associated with polysexuality: pink, green, and blue. I want to keep these colors, and I'm also keeping their original meanings. The ply pride colors aren't changing if I have anything to say about it! As obscure as polysexuality is, this color combination is very recognizable and well established in our community, and if applied well, they look really nice together.

However, I've also added two thin white stripes to the flag. These stripes serve three purposes:

1. Visual appeal.

The white stripes prevent clashing between the pink and green, and also add some more contrast between the green and blue.

2. Separation between stripes.

The white stripes allow the colorful stripes to exist separately, since polysexual people are not attracted to all genders. For example, I am represented by pink and green, but not by blue, because I am not attracted to binary men. Another polysexual person might be represented only by green and blue, only by green, etc.

3. Distinction from other flags.

The white stripes create distinction from other m-spec flags. This flag distinction can represent the disconnect from m-spec spaces that some polysexuals experience, since m-spec spaces tend to revolve around attraction towards all genders, which is inapplicable to polysexual people unless varioriented or fluid. M-spec spaces also often revolve around attraction towards at least both binary genders, and many polysexual people, including myself, lack attraction towards at least one binary gender.

This flag distinction also calls attention to polysexuality as its own identity, which does not always need to be dependent on other terms, and can shine on its own. We are not just a tag, or just a flag, or just a label to put in posts that aren't about us. We are a community! We are individuals! We are people! We are experiences!

The flag is still somewhat similar to other m-spec flags in its color choices, so the solidarity with our m-spec siblings is still there! But now we get to have something that feels more like it's for us.

I hope that the difference in stripe size makes the flag more accessible to colorblind people as well, because I don't see many flags with a 2:1:2:1:2 stripe ratio, whereas there are a lot of flags with three evenly sized horizontal stripes.

This flag can be used by all ply people! Whether polysexual, polyromantic, polysensual, polyalterous, varioriented, fluid, questioning, etc... This is for all of us!

Additional flags, templates, silly stuff, and emojis:

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christianstepmoms · 6 months

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So back in the day I learned a lot. And I learned that it makes a difference. This was the flag spawning area, and I was one of the guards, and they weren’t allowed to – it was a 3 vs 4. And if you fell off sideways, you landed on the damn, er, darn gravlift over there.

And Master Chief was a bad dude. And he ran a bunch of bad boys. And I did and back in those days – to show how things have changed – one of the things you had to use, if you used decal on your helmet, you had to wear a sun filter. And so he was up in the zero grav zone and wouldn’t listen to me. I said, ‘Hey, Grunt, you! Outta that zone, or I’ll come up and shoot you down.’ Well, he came down, and he said, ‘I’ll meet you on Boardwalk.’

My Warthog this – was mostly, these were all cargo crates behind us. My 'hog – there was a forcefield on here. I parked my hog outside the field. And I – and he said, ‘I’ll be waiting for you. He was waiting for me with three Elites with Energy Swords. Not a joke. There was a guy named Rt'as Vadumee, Yap-Yap, the only Spec-Ops Grunt and he did all the Food Nipples. He was a mechanic. And I said, ‘What am I gonna do?’ And he said. ‘Come down here in the Launch Bay, where mechanics – all the mechanics- – where all the Pelican builder is.’ You know the Magnum, there used to be a Magnum that would shoot across the Blood Gulch. And I grabbed a 12-bullet mag for the pistol, and loaded it up and he said, ‘You walk out with that Mag, and you walk to the 'Hog and say, ‘you may cut me man, but I’m gonna put this bullet in your head.'

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gremoria411 · 10 months

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So I’ve been seeing a lot of people chatting about the new Gundam: Requiem for Vengeance trailer, and there’s a part of it I’d like to throw my two cents in on.

Honestly, in regards to there being a billion Gundam’s running around the OYW, I made my peace with that fact years ago, so it doesn’t bother me. Yeah, yeah it’s a little silly from an in-universe perspective, no matter how many times they pull the “secret prototype” card. But from an out of universe perspective, Gundams sell, and they want it to sell. It’s a rare thing in the UC series that doesn’t have a Gundam in it.

But just for the sake of it, how many Gundams are (at present) running around in the One Year War?

Note: I was originally going to ignore things like Thunderbolt, The Origin and the Sidestories, since they all have a somewhat weird canon state. Then I realised that “Gundams that Canonically existed in the OYW” ≠ “Gundams that you see marketed in OYW sidestories”. So, I’m going to lead with the suits that we know existed, then move on to the other ones. I am, however, ignoring Manga, because I haven’t read everything and we’ll be here all day.

Alrighty, so we start off with the original RX-78 series as built in Operation V (sometimes called the “Vinson Plan”). We have:

RX-78-1 “Prototype Gundam” - As its name suggests, the prototype unit to the entire line. Never deployed to my knowledge, I’m honestly not sure what happens to it. I usually read it as being destroyed during the attack on Side 7, but I’m not certain of that.

RX-78-2 “Gundam” - you know this one. Amuro falls into the cockpit at Side 7 and proceeds to pilot it from then until the end of the One Year War.

RX-78-3 “G-3 Gundam” - apparently recovered from Side 7 and used as a test bed for magnet coating technology. Beyond that we have absolutely no idea what happened to it, since there’s a bunch of conflicting accounts. My usual headcanon is that it was used as a basis for all the MSV suits, but we have absolutely no idea if and where it was deployed.

RX-78-4 “Gundam G04” - deployed alongside unit 5 at the Battle of Solomon.

RX-78-5 “Gundam G05” - deployed alongside unit 4 at the battle of Solomon.

RX-78-6 “Mudrock Gundam” - deployed in the defence of Jaburo and the re-taking of California base.

The other two units are part of the series, but were not (as far as we know) deployed during the OYW:

RX-78-7 “Gundam 7th” - completed and deployed after the war.

RX-78-8 - we know nothing about. There may have been an 8th unit, it may just have been design data, and we have no idea if it was deployed or what it looked like.

Next; The Gundam Ground Types. There were 20 (-ish, some sources say 28) Gundam ground types produced during the One Year War from spare parts of the RX-78 series. This includes:

The units seen in 08th MS Team - 12 Gundam Ground Types were deployed to the Kojima Battalion.

The Ez8 - Deployed, as above.

Blue Destiny Unit 1 - Deployed

Blue Destiny Unit 2 - stolen by Zeon Ace Nimbus Schterzen.

Blue Destiny Unit 3 - Deployed in pursuit of Unit 2.

Slave Wraith - Questionably Canon, assigned to and deployed by Slave Wraith team.

I’m also gonna quickly call out that we have no idea on the various Full Armor units (the FA Gundam, the Heavy Gundam, the FA Ground type, the FA type B etc). Some sources say they were built, others that they were only simulation data.

And finally we have everything else:

Gundam NT-1 “Alex” - Developed at Augusta Base, then moved to side 6, where it was deployed against the Cyclops Team.

Gundam NT-1 “Prototype NT-1” - apparently an entirely separate suit to the NT-1. The prototype to the above. Presumably not deployed.

RX-78XX “Pixy/Pixie Gundam” - Questionably Canon, three units built. Unit 1 deployed in Belfast, Unit 2 in the Gobi Desert (and planned to be deployed at Odessa) and Unit 3 in Africa.

RAG-79-G1 Gundam Marine type - Sometimes known as the “Gundiver”. An underwater-spec unit. Unknown amount produced, primarily because it’s essentially a modified Underwater GM as opposed to a “true” Gundam unit.

And that’s about it for mainline UC. Gundam The Origin intentionally keeps things very vague as to how many Gundam’s exist there, so I’m not going to bother.

Gundam Thunderbolt is a bit of an odd case, since at first glance, it adds three:

FA-78 Full Armour Gundam (Thunderbolt ver.) - deployed by the Moore Brotherhood at Side 4.

RX-79[GS] Gundam Ground type S - produced by the Federation during the One Year War and after, presumably deployed.

RGM-79/GH Gundam Head - a GM with a Gundam-style head in an attempt to reproduce the psychological effect on Zeon forces.

But that last one illustrates Thunderbolt’s position on the matter, which is later made clearer in the manga in regards to the Bull-G, a unit built postwar. The Bull-G is a prototype unit contending for the position of the Federations new main unit. However, it’s actually an upgraded GM, fitted with a Gundam-style head to make it more appealing.

And this seems to be thunderbolt’s position on the matter - after a certain point it comes down to a suit’s performance rather than it being a Gundam. So yes, it adds a bunch of Gundam-style suits, but it also deconstructs that just because a suit looks like a Gundam doesn’t make it special.

Which is honestly a pretty interesting position to take.

#Gundam #One Year War #Gundam requiem for vengeance #RX-78 #Gundam Thunderbolt #Full Armour Gundam #Gundam Bull-G

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karriethemechtech · 15 days

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Hey, Melissa, don't be mad, but, ah...

I may have gotten carried away. A little. So I pulled out some old projects of mine, and, um...

may have sent Skobel an absolute monstrosity. I've custom rebuild like 75% of this thing now, Blake's sake we leave so soon how am I supposed to...

Well! No need for sleep! Maybe with Skobel's help I can get it done within the next day so it's ready for takeoff

Awesome AWS-9Q-DLb "Old Girl"

Mass: 80 tons Chassis: DeLacey MechWorks AWS CComp-type Power Plant: DeLacey MechWorks 240 XL-C Cruising Speed: 32.4 kph Maximum Speed: 54 kph Jump Jets: DeLacey MechWorks A-240 Jump Capacity: 90 meters Armor: Durallex Heavy Special Armament: 3 ER PPC 1 HAG/20 Manufacturer: DeLacey MechWorks, Skobel MechWorks Primary Factory: Terra Communication System: DeLacey MechWorks 110 "Lynx" Targeting & Tracking System: DeLacey Mechworks 2870 "Deadeye" with Neutron Star CEWS Introduction Year: 3150 Tech Rating/Availability: F/X-X-X-X Cost: 19,125,000 C-bills

Overview The Awesome was designed in 2665 for the Star League by the Technicron Conglomorate and was based on the aging STR-2C Striker. While not as fast as its forefather, the Awesome is a strong assault 'Mech.

Capabilities The Awesome's abilities are nearly entirely dependent on its particle projection cannons. The AWS can withstand a severe and consistent onslaught from its weaponry thanks to several heat sinks. With one and a half tons more armor than the Striker, the AWS is more protected than even the BattleMaster. The Amazing, like any other BattleMech, has weaknesses. While it is lethal at range, it is less effective in close-quarters combat since its PPCs have a tougher time connecting with the victim. In that case, it just possesses a light weapon and a left fist to fall back on. Because of its limited mobility, it is vulnerable to flanking attacks from speedier opponents seeking to get past the PPCs. While they face arguably of the heaviest rear armor found on any BattleMech, the Awesome's lack of rear facing armaments or a weapon mount on its left arm has offered numerous MechWarriors a fighting chance. Formations of Awesomes (or even just a few) are incredibly effective and tough to stop or defeat when correctly placed by commanders who are knowledgeable of the AWS's limitations.

Deployment Originally an AWS-9Q, this Awesome has been rebuilt from the ground up by Karrie DeLacey with assistance from Skobel MechWorks' facilities. Re-built on a Clan-spec endo-composite chassis, the mech features three ERPPCs and a Hyper-Assault Gauss/20 for overwhelming offense at any distance. It mounts one more heat sink than the previous version. Perhaps most notably, this version contains an SLDF experimental Neutron Star CEWS; based on recaptured Society tech, it promises to share targeting data on the fly in addition to providing electronic countermeasures--though to use it requires balancing the impressive heat burden of the 'Mech.

History Awesomes can be found in every military House. Because the Free Worlds League has the last remaining manufacturing factories capable of generating the Awesome, it also has the most Awesomes of any of the Great Houses. Opinions on the 'Mech vary greatly within the League. Many people laud its powers, while others believe that its limited mobility is too high a price to pay for what it can do. Similar sentiments exist in the other Houses, but none of them can debate the issue beyond academics. Few commanders would turn down the opportunity to acquire an Awesome for their army. The Awesome is typically used to assault a fixed position or to breach the enemy's line of defense. They are also in demand for defensive operations. MechWarriors piloting the Awesome can expect to be involved in heavy battle and to be charged with obtaining or guarding the most crucial objectives from the adversary.

Type: Awesome Technology Base: Mixed (Experimental) Tonnage: 80 Battle Value: 2,903

Equipment Mass Internal Structure Endo-Composite 6 Engine 240 XL 6 Walking MP: 3 Running MP: 5 Jumping MP: 3 Double Heat Sink 20 [40] 10 Gyro 3 Cockpit 3 Armor Factor 240 15 Internal Armor Structure Value Head 3 9 Center Torso 25 31 Center Torso (rear) 18 R/L Torso 17 24 R/L Torso (rear) 10 R/L Arm 13 24 R/L Leg 17 33

Right Arm Actuators: Shoulder, Upper Arm, Lower Arm Left Arm Actuators: Shoulder, Upper Arm, Lower Arm

Weapons and Ammo Location Critical Heat Tonnage Double Heat Sink LL 2 - 1.0 Hyper-Assault Gauss Rifle/20 Ammo (12) CT 2 - 2.0 Jump Jet RT 1 - 1.0 ER PPC RT 2 15 6.0 3 Double Heat Sink RT 6 - 3.0 CASE II LA 1 - 0.5 CASE LA 0 - 0.0 HAG/20 LA 6 4 10.0 Double Heat Sink LA 2 - 1.0 2 Jump Jet LT 2 - 2.0 ER PPC LT 2 15 6.0 3 Double Heat Sink LT 6 - 3.0 Nova Combined Electronic Warfare System HD 1 - 1.5 ER PPC RA 2 15 6.0 3 Double Heat Sink RA 6 - 3.0

Features the following design quirks: Battle Fists (LA), Combat Computer, Multi-Trac, Difficult to Maintain, Non-Standard Parts

( @is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not )

#battletech #mechwarrior #(ooc: this is your fault actually. fear this horrifying mech.)#(ooc: the timeline here is a little wonky considering we're leaving so soon but I figure an all-nighter in a 'Mech factory can get it)#also yes before you ask I'm a little peeved at needing an XL engine to fit it all in but you can't have it all and this is still quite a lo #gonna be a nightmare to service though. This whole star is a nightmare to service.

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