#i am not a therapist

[shythefox]

When someone who’s close to you starts bashing into (talking bad about) something you’re passionate about, it hurts, and they don’t even realize they’re doing it to you.

I know many of us have experienced this, and if I ever accidentally start doing it please let me know! So I’ll stop, I don’t ever want to hurt anyone like that. Don’t just keep letting them do it, speak up, or just walk away.

(I’m fine, just felt like venting, this came upon my mind.)

#Vent #opinion #mental health #support #i am not a therapist #but I need therapy #I love my besties

[mynameisakissi]

#comics #mini comic #art #my art #illustration #i love colors #ink #black ink #socializing #i am not a therapist #advice #empathy fatigue #energy drain #i have problems too #caregiver #oversharing #venting #empathy #understanding #trauma dumping

[theinternetisfulloftrash]

Hey, I’m the anon who asked for the advice last night, thank you so much I honestly appreciate it so so much that you took the time to write that, it’s helped a lot 🥺 I hope that you’re having a good day 😌

You're very welcome!

I'm happy I could help, even the tiniest bit. I am having a pretty okay day today (I may have stayed up too late, but I always do), thanks for asking!

You don't need to 'try' to do anything you're not ready for, for anyone. That feeling of loneliness is one that won't be there forever, but if you feel like you're having trouble trusting people, even those with seemingly good intentions, it might be something worth thinking about addressing in talk therapy? You could be running away out of fear of opening up or self-consciousness, but there could be some deeper issues getting in the way of your happiness that you might be able to delve into and understand better if you had some help to sort them out and investigate. Meeting new people is hard for me to this very day, and opening up to my husband when we first met was not an easy thing to do. To be vulnerable and put yourself out there is a risk, and sometimes you can just FEEL when it's worth it.

As an aside, being ashamed and inhibited when it comes to our bodies and sexual expression is something that society has worked very hard to engrain in women for a very long time. I believe it to be partially responsible for me quite obviously repressing my clearly sexual nature, but I do not downplay the role of my own personality in that process. And it is a process. Becoming who you will be as an adult, learning about yourself, about what you want in a partner (if you even want a partner), none of it is a recipe that you have to follow. No one has the 'right' formula.

Getting to know yourself is one of the most valuable and important life events that happen in your 20s, and you are only just beginning that process. Do not rush yourself, do not attempt to live up to anyone else's expectations of you, and try to develop a relationship with yourself that will allow you to find happiness, in whatever form it takes. Self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love <3

anon sent THIS ask last night and I'm pleased to see that they saw my response and sent this follow-up. If anything I can say when it comes to these kinds of issues helps anyone, I'm grateful to have a platform to allow me to do it.

#trashy advice #I guess I'm an advice column today #I am not a therapist #and my advice is simply that #MY advice #much love anon #you got this #<3 #ask #anon #anon ask #not dylan #relationship advice

[epickiya722]

I really do hope that anon is doing better though.

#it's been almost a month but #i just care you know? #i am not a therapist #but sometimes i just hope that people are doing alright #just kiya's thoughts

[lonesomelavender]

Guess who wishes she had stayed away from home another few days bc it's crazy uncomfortable here, my dad's pissed and unstable, and my mom's out of the house bc she's afraid of him,

so me and my sister have to figure out how to avoid setting dad off at the drop of a hat, she barely says 3 words to him so he comes to me for conversation and emotion dumping and the minute i try to establish boundaries he get MAD and is like Fine i just won't tell you anything ever

#he keeps asking if i think he's a monster #what #pls stop #i am not a therapist #hes falling apart and possibly thinking about offing himself #wtf do i do #im locking my door tonight #idk what state hes in rn #im pretending to be asleep #wtf #personal #oh thank god he went to the other side of the house

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[megoons-spoons]

i feel like this is true

divide the number of stuffed animals you have by 3 and that usually equates to the number of mental illnesses you have or have yet to be diagnosed with.

((For example, I have at least 30 stuffed animals in my apartment right now. So.. divide by 3 and... there ya go. I've got 10 mental illnesses. That sounds correct.))

#stuffed animals #i'm depressed and this is normal behavior #please don't mind me #mental illness #i am not a therapist

[hadesandpersephonefuck-sometimes]

finally

healthy realtionships are the best.

warnings: slight manipulation? (not from me)

posted: Wednesday, 15th March, 2023

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i did something.

i have a "friend" who moved away from where i currently live, who somehow found me on my socials. including a text messaging app.

she has been texting me non stop, making tik toks about me, and being rude when i don't respond to something.

so i set my boundaries. and a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

she's using me as a therapist, which i am not. i am not a trained professional, which she should be going to in the first place.

and i feel soooo good.

#too bad so sad #i set boundaries #and #i feel amazing! #i am not a therapist

[overlymetaromantic]

*slaps Loid like I’m a salesperson showing off a new car*: you can pack so much anxiety into this one man

#spy x family #loid forger #anya forger #sxf #spy family #loid x yor #yor x loid #twiyor #it's there if you read the text lol #twilight #if you do actually read the text please know I am very impressed #poor loid man he's in the one industry where his constant paranoia is actually justified #I'd say he should see a therapist but considering he's currently impersonating one I don't think it'd actually help #I haven't made multiple fanarts in a row in eons what is this 2017 #let's pretend I can draw

[irrealisms]

tired of medication positivity posts that assume everyone has a positive relationship with medication

here’s to people who don’t take medication that their doctors want them to take. here’s to people who get marked noncompliant. here’s to people who get sectioned or hospitalized bc they won’t take their meds. here’s to people who self-medicate w nonprescription drugs. here’s to the people in withdrawal. here’s to the people who would rather deal with their symptoms than medication side effects. here’s to the “treatment-resistant” people who have never found medication that helps at all. here’s to the people who are only on meds nonconsensually. here’s to people who refuse meds for “irrational” or “stupid” reasons. here’s to people for whom taking meds is a trauma trigger. here’s to people who are disabled from past medications. here’s to people who are constantly being pressured into taking meds they don’t want and having to defend their “no” over and over again

yes, lots of people need their meds. yes, meds can be important. but don’t forget us

fuck everyone who calls us anti-science or anti-recovery. who says we are hurting other ppl by talking about our choices. bodily autonomy includes the right to say NO. even to medical treatment.

#therapists dni #psychiatry tag #survivingpsych #fwiw I TAKE MULTIPLE LIFE SAVING MEDICATIONS #i am not trying to shame ppl who do! or deny that meds are important! #but like. as an unmedicated by choice schizo #it’s hard out here. with the medical trauma and so forth

[thedisablednaturalist]

I think when people think of mental illness and what helps, especially with things like anxiety and depression, the treatment involves pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to get out of bed, to exercise, to take a shower, to go out in public, to order your own food from the cashier, etc.

And because the mental health movement has grown so much, people think that's the default of ALL illnesses. That the only way someone will get better is if they push themselves. That practice makes perfect. That you'll become more comfortable or strong over time the more you do something.

But what people need to realize is, with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses, pushing yourself in most cases is DETRIMENTAL. Pushing yourself past your limits can lead to flare ups or further injury. That's why it's important to know your limits, how certain activities may affect your condition, and learn how to either adapt or get help to complete the activity in question.

Also, most of us are already pushing ourselves. Most of us don't have access to the help or equipment we need. Most of us live in places where we frequently encounter inaccessible obstacles. Most of us NEED to rest.

So please don't try to be our physical therapists or doctors. There are people specifically trained to help us navigate our own conditions and limitations. There are people trained to help us strengthen our body's resilience without causing flare-ups or injury. Do not tell us "it'll be good for you" or "you need the exercise" when we say something is too heavy or too far or when we say we need our mobility aid(s). Your friend with depression may need to be encouraged to get out of bed, but your friend with chronic illness definitely doesn't.

Respect our rest.

#wrenfea.exe #DISCLAIMER: dont take this as me saying you should be pushing your mentally ill friends #this is more about how physical conditions often differ in how they are treated #also dont like. force your friends or anyone with anxiety to do things they dont want to #thats what therapists are for #also most mental illnesses require medication alongside therapy before they can get better #but even chronic illnesses and disabilities that benefit from exercise still require knowing your limits #and not being pressured to push past them #ive noticed some professionals who help both mentally and physically ill patients tend towards the push method #like my therapist and sometimes my counselors fall back on that method #and i have to remind them i am already pushing myself #and i need to adapt rather than push forward #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #chronic illness #cripple punk #cripplepunk #cpunk

[shythefox]

This is Elliot! My sweet innocent little boy…. Haha I lied, he’s betraying his entire colony by befriending a murder drone. Lying to his mom, sister, and girlfriends face!

#murder drone oc #Murder drones #oc #Elliot #murder drones is an epic show you should watch #Liam Vickers needs therapy #You need therapy #I am not a therapist #My oc needs therapy #my tags are a mess

[ascensabyss]

my internet dad is quitting youtube…

#first copia now this #my therapist will be hearing about this #how the hell am I supposed to survive this year #all of this change is too scary for me😭 #all jokes aside I wish Matt all the best and completely understand why he’s leaving #cried throughout the whole video #matpat #game theory

[cuubism]

i went to physical therapy for my stupid broken arm so as is my legal obligation i HAD to make ship content about it. everything is ship content that's how it is

cw injury, referenced abusive relationships

--

Hob's had plenty of clients come to physical therapy who clearly don't want to be there. Plenty of others who are reasonably frustrated by the work and time involved in regaining functioning after an injury. But this is the first time he's just had someone be... quiet. Resigned.

Dream sits with his hand cradled to his chest, barely speaking, only answering when Hob asks a direct question. He's reluctant to give Hob his hand when Hob asks if he can look at it, like he thinks Hob's grip is a bear trap that will snap down and crush the bones like whatever had done so the first time. Hob still doesn't know what that was. All he knows is the bones have been realigned and healed over but the dexterity in his hand still isn't right. That was what Dream had said, in the first spark of passion Hob had heard from him. It's not right.

But he does eventually give his hand over. His bones are so fine and delicate, and each movement hesitant. Cautious. Hob tests the flexibility. The strength. Dream is right, it's not where it should be. He still doesn't know what happened.

"I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to," Hob says gently. "But it is important to know how it happened to make sure we rehab it the right way. Did you get it caught in something? I've seen guys come in with machine injuries like that."

Nothing about Dream suggests "person who works with heavy machinery." But who knows. Hob will try not to stereotype.

"No," Dream says quietly, looking down and away from his hand like he can't bear to see it. "I. I am an artist. My ex... he felt that I cared more about my art than about him. Perhaps I did. And he was... frustrated. I suppose."

Hob can put the rest of the pieces together in his mind. "Jesus," he breathes, and Dream flinches.

"I have an unfortunate ability to involve myself with such people," he says.

"No, it's not your fault," Hob says automatically.

Dream narrows his eyes. "You presume to know that?"

Hob raises his hands in surrender. "Never mind. I won't pry." He's not Dream's therapist. His job is to help him with his hand, not... whatever else is going on in his life.

He takes Dream's hand carefully between both of his own again. Presses down lightly on his knuckles. "So. Crushed. Like that?"

Dream nods. Hob still doesn't know all the details, but he's imagining a boot going down hard on the top of Dream's hand. The thought is sickening.

"Can you fix it?" Dream asks, like he doesn't dare to hope.

"Well, you already had it repaired surgically, yeah?" Hob says. This strikes him as a bit of good luck--hand fractures are not simple--but he doesn't want to undercut Dream's confidence even further by saying so. He's usually pretty good at reading his clients, and he's already sensing that Dream is holding onto his determination to be here at all by the barest thread. Best to build him up as much as possible. "So it's just a matter of strengthening the muscles again."

He's fairly confident he can get him back to a usual level of functioning with it. The question is whether he can return him to the specific level of dexterity he needs for his art. He doesn't say that. Not yet.

Finally, he gets the tiniest of smiles out of Dream. He's really lovely when he smiles.

(He's pretty when he doesn't smile, too. Hob would have to be blind not to notice it.)

"So," Hob says. "Let's look at the current range of motion, yeah?"

Dream tilts his head. "Did you not already do so?"

"For regular motion, yeah. But I want to see where it's impacting your drawing."

Dream draws his hand back, looking uncertain.

"Come on." Hob hands him a pen and paper. "Show me. I promise I know nothing about art. If it's not up to your usual standards, I'm not going to be able to tell."

Finally, Dream takes the pen, and starts sketching.

Hob watches, noting the way his hand trembles, his uneven grip on the pen. Notes how quickly he gets demoralized when it doesn't turn out the way he wants. Hob can make out what he's written and drawn, but it's clear from Dream's expression that it's far from how it's supposed to be.

"This is just a starting point," Hob reminds him. He has a feeling he's going to be doing a lot of those sorts of reminders with Dream; he does not seem to find optimism easy.

Then again, if someone who supposedly loved him had hurt him like that, Hob would probably find optimism a bit difficult, too.

Finally, Dream drops the pen, clearly frustrated. "I have tried to paint at home, too. It has not turned out any better. You should throw those away." He gestures to the sketches. "They are terrible."

"Nah, I'm gonna keep them," Hob says, and puts them in his folder. "For comparison later." It could also partially be because he finds Dream's drawings of cats, imperfect as they are, charming. Sue him.

"As you insist," Dream says.

Hob gives him documentation on some other exercises he can do at home. Tries to think through what might make him feel better with his art. It feels, somehow, so important to make him feel better.

"At home, go easy on trying to use a pen, or paintbrush or whatever, it's hard on your hand," he finally says. "But you probably want to get back to your art, so-- okay, don't make fun of me if this is stupid."

Dream just raises an eyebrow, waiting.

Maybe Hob should try to learn more about art before he gives advice. Nevertheless, he forges on. "Holding a pen is tough, but if you wanted to like, finger paint or something? That would probably be fine. Might be good for flexibility, even."

"Finger paint," Dream repeats, enunciating each word.

"I told you not to make fun of me if it was stupid."

Dream smiles, just a small thing, like he finds Hob ridiculous but in a charming way. Good enough, Hob figures.

"Very well," Dream says at last. "I will take your advice."

Dream simply walking out had felt like a distinct possibility, so Hob will take this as a win.

"Hey," he says later, catching Dream for a moment as he's checking him out. "It's going to get better, yeah? Trust me. Don't worry too hard, just give it time."

He really shouldn't make promises like that. But he can't seem to help it, with Dream.

Dream considers, then says. "I do trust you."

Hob finds that it means a lot. Now he's just going to have to earn it.

#i really am writing the most random indulgent shit this week XD #you know this was a missed opportunity to do 'forbidden romance between a physical therapist and a ballerina' like that ridiculous romance #novel that was going around XD #anyway don't take physical therapy advice from this #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #my writing #cw abuse #long post #perhaps i'll write more after my next appointment XD #physical therapy fic

[krashlite]

Anyways my hot take abt the cheater’s arc is that all four of them were in the wrong but it was mostly Grian’s fault things went so horrendously since man was the reason why the actual Cheating part of the cheater’s arc happened (characters, obviously)

But yeah here’s how they were all wrong yes

Grian was being incredibly controlling because he didn’t trust Scar to keep them safe. Man was scared of his own damn shadow for a lot of this, but his way of ensuring his own safety was basically to tell Scar to stand in one place and not move. He pretty much disregarded the fact that Scar is a grown man capable of making his own decisions And capable of keeping himself, and the both of them, alive. The fact that they were last on green doesn’t reassure him, only confirms that he is in the right for being so controlling. He thinks his behavior kept them alive. He only loosens up once they hit their red life since at that point danger is assumed. Grian DOES NOT learn to respect Scar here, just puts his paranoia on hold for another day. His conclusion is that he was right and Scar was unreasonable

Scar was pushing back against said control since he knew it was unfounded. Again, he’s a grown man capable of making his own decisions. He has a tendency to mock people to show when they’re being ridiculous, something he does here through being purposefully careless. It’s both to point out how ridiculous Grian’s being and a way to punish him for being so obsessive. Instead of having the intended effect, Scar just pushes Grian further away. He later winds up just following everything Grian says, which doesn’t address the root of the problem here. Except he has no way of knowing what’s wrong because Grian doesn’t tell him. From his perspective, the only thing that got Grian back at his side was murder- since the only times they actually stood on equal footing was when there was a plan for a kill or when that plan went well. Scar’s conclusion here isn’t that he was unsafe, but that he was boring. So it reaffirms that he’s in the right and Grian was being unreasonable

BigB is not and never was the mistress in this situation. Had Grian never approached him, he would’ve never left Ren. He was using his Secret Soulmate as an escape from normal relationship problems he was too scared to address. BigB mainly felt overlooked because he has a quieter personality than Ren, meaning Ren wound up making most decisions for the two of them. BigB did a lot to mirror Ren and to be Ren’s other half, but didn’t give himself space to be his own person in the relationship. This is something that’s brought up in couple’s counseling and something they at least started to address before dying. BigB never intended to hurt either of them, since he did love and value both Ren and Grian- something that’s affirmed by how he talks to them after dying. BigB and Ren talk about how they stayed together until the end and B takes the time to forgive Grian for murdering both him and his soulmate

Ren was doing his best to keep Box afloat but failed to meet BigB’s needs. Since B wouldn’t communicate what was wrong, Ren kept trying to course correct in ways that inadvertently made the situation worse. Ren’s instinct is to be protective- to find an enemy to defend against. That enemy was first Pearl and then Clockduo when Bdubs inadvertently got BigB killed. He also reacted to news of B cheating by distancing himself from BigB. Which, reasonable!! Ren wasn’t obligated to save them if B was the one who left. However, this action only pushed BigB away since Ren was so quick to assume they were over. Ren has a habit of isolating himself when something’s wrong, assuming the worst of a situation when things can be fixed. It worked out between him and BigB in the end but goddamn was that rough

Anyways the four of them are very!! Very messy, I love them dearly

#anyways that’s my armchair therapist take on them #I’ll shut up abt this arc I prommy #grian #bigbst4tz2 #rendog #goodtimeswithscar #trafficblr #trafficshipping #they make me crazy #it’s 2 in the AM take my keyboard away from me

[terrornothorror]

this is my design .

avatrice/hannibal au

#ava silva #warrior nun #sister beatrice #alba baptista #avatrice #kristina tonteri young #hannibal #so yes ermmmmmm this is my square peg circle hole moment and I’m making it werk…. I think Ava could have Will’s empathy and #Beatrice looks cool in a suit and could kill rude people and be a therapist ermmm #blood / #my screws are loose I think I just am drawing whatever I want now but please enjoy #it’s all about the blood and violence and eroticism #don’t the kids these days like cannibalism as a metaphor for ajvdwjishsksksjsjqksks