#i really am writing the most random indulgent shit this week XD

[cuubism]

i went to physical therapy for my stupid broken arm so as is my legal obligation i HAD to make ship content about it. everything is ship content that's how it is

cw injury, referenced abusive relationships

--

Hob's had plenty of clients come to physical therapy who clearly don't want to be there. Plenty of others who are reasonably frustrated by the work and time involved in regaining functioning after an injury. But this is the first time he's just had someone be... quiet. Resigned.

Dream sits with his hand cradled to his chest, barely speaking, only answering when Hob asks a direct question. He's reluctant to give Hob his hand when Hob asks if he can look at it, like he thinks Hob's grip is a bear trap that will snap down and crush the bones like whatever had done so the first time. Hob still doesn't know what that was. All he knows is the bones have been realigned and healed over but the dexterity in his hand still isn't right. That was what Dream had said, in the first spark of passion Hob had heard from him. It's not right.

But he does eventually give his hand over. His bones are so fine and delicate, and each movement hesitant. Cautious. Hob tests the flexibility. The strength. Dream is right, it's not where it should be. He still doesn't know what happened.

"I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to," Hob says gently. "But it is important to know how it happened to make sure we rehab it the right way. Did you get it caught in something? I've seen guys come in with machine injuries like that."

Nothing about Dream suggests "person who works with heavy machinery." But who knows. Hob will try not to stereotype.

"No," Dream says quietly, looking down and away from his hand like he can't bear to see it. "I. I am an artist. My ex... he felt that I cared more about my art than about him. Perhaps I did. And he was... frustrated. I suppose."

Hob can put the rest of the pieces together in his mind. "Jesus," he breathes, and Dream flinches.

"I have an unfortunate ability to involve myself with such people," he says.

"No, it's not your fault," Hob says automatically.

Dream narrows his eyes. "You presume to know that?"

Hob raises his hands in surrender. "Never mind. I won't pry." He's not Dream's therapist. His job is to help him with his hand, not... whatever else is going on in his life.

He takes Dream's hand carefully between both of his own again. Presses down lightly on his knuckles. "So. Crushed. Like that?"

Dream nods. Hob still doesn't know all the details, but he's imagining a boot going down hard on the top of Dream's hand. The thought is sickening.

"Can you fix it?" Dream asks, like he doesn't dare to hope.

"Well, you already had it repaired surgically, yeah?" Hob says. This strikes him as a bit of good luck--hand fractures are not simple--but he doesn't want to undercut Dream's confidence even further by saying so. He's usually pretty good at reading his clients, and he's already sensing that Dream is holding onto his determination to be here at all by the barest thread. Best to build him up as much as possible. "So it's just a matter of strengthening the muscles again."

He's fairly confident he can get him back to a usual level of functioning with it. The question is whether he can return him to the specific level of dexterity he needs for his art. He doesn't say that. Not yet.

Finally, he gets the tiniest of smiles out of Dream. He's really lovely when he smiles.

(He's pretty when he doesn't smile, too. Hob would have to be blind not to notice it.)

"So," Hob says. "Let's look at the current range of motion, yeah?"

Dream tilts his head. "Did you not already do so?"

"For regular motion, yeah. But I want to see where it's impacting your drawing."

Dream draws his hand back, looking uncertain.

"Come on." Hob hands him a pen and paper. "Show me. I promise I know nothing about art. If it's not up to your usual standards, I'm not going to be able to tell."

Finally, Dream takes the pen, and starts sketching.

Hob watches, noting the way his hand trembles, his uneven grip on the pen. Notes how quickly he gets demoralized when it doesn't turn out the way he wants. Hob can make out what he's written and drawn, but it's clear from Dream's expression that it's far from how it's supposed to be.

"This is just a starting point," Hob reminds him. He has a feeling he's going to be doing a lot of those sorts of reminders with Dream; he does not seem to find optimism easy.

Then again, if someone who supposedly loved him had hurt him like that, Hob would probably find optimism a bit difficult, too.

Finally, Dream drops the pen, clearly frustrated. "I have tried to paint at home, too. It has not turned out any better. You should throw those away." He gestures to the sketches. "They are terrible."

"Nah, I'm gonna keep them," Hob says, and puts them in his folder. "For comparison later." It could also partially be because he finds Dream's drawings of cats, imperfect as they are, charming. Sue him.

"As you insist," Dream says.

Hob gives him documentation on some other exercises he can do at home. Tries to think through what might make him feel better with his art. It feels, somehow, so important to make him feel better.

"At home, go easy on trying to use a pen, or paintbrush or whatever, it's hard on your hand," he finally says. "But you probably want to get back to your art, so-- okay, don't make fun of me if this is stupid."

Dream just raises an eyebrow, waiting.

Maybe Hob should try to learn more about art before he gives advice. Nevertheless, he forges on. "Holding a pen is tough, but if you wanted to like, finger paint or something? That would probably be fine. Might be good for flexibility, even."

"Finger paint," Dream repeats, enunciating each word.

"I told you not to make fun of me if it was stupid."

Dream smiles, just a small thing, like he finds Hob ridiculous but in a charming way. Good enough, Hob figures.

"Very well," Dream says at last. "I will take your advice."

Dream simply walking out had felt like a distinct possibility, so Hob will take this as a win.

"Hey," he says later, catching Dream for a moment as he's checking him out. "It's going to get better, yeah? Trust me. Don't worry too hard, just give it time."

He really shouldn't make promises like that. But he can't seem to help it, with Dream.

Dream considers, then says. "I do trust you."

Hob finds that it means a lot. Now he's just going to have to earn it.

#i really am writing the most random indulgent shit this week XD #you know this was a missed opportunity to do 'forbidden romance between a physical therapist and a ballerina' like that ridiculous romance #novel that was going around XD #anyway don't take physical therapy advice from this #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #my writing #cw abuse #long post #perhaps i'll write more after my next appointment XD #physical therapy fic

[eirenical]

For the writing meme: 6, 10, 20, 22, 25, 40, 49 (I realize that's a kind of a lot so feel free to skip any you're not feeling) :)

Oh, boy. These are good ones.  :D  Thanks, @kingesstropolis!  (If anyone else wants to play, here’s the list of questions.)

6. Favorite character you’ve written?

That gets harder and harder to answer every year, honestly.  XD  I think I tend to have favorites in each fandom, but not necessarily an overall favorite?  For Les Mis, Courfeyrac and Feuilly are definitely up there.  And--

...you know what?  Let’s make this easy.  *copy-pastes from another meme answer*

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

…all of them?  XD  Seriously, though.  I feel like my writing motto is probably “You always hurt the ones you love.”  So, IT’S A PRETTY LONG LIST.  But here are just a few of the people on it:

Courfeyrac

Feuilly

Joly

Obi-Wan

Zhane

Andros

Jason Scott

Billy Cranston

Guy Germaine

Nuriko

Tasuki

Stiles Stilinski

Shawn Farrell

Danny Fenton

Claude Bukowski

Crutchie

Spot Conlon

Elder McKinley

SO SO SO MANY OTHERS, SERIOUSLY, IT’S RIDICULOUS.

...what?  IT’S THE SAME LIST.  XD

10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with

Oh gosh.  That’s not an easy one to answer.  Co-writing is harder than co-habitating.  I absolutely LOVE the way that Anne Bishop, Rob Thurman, and Carol Berg write, and would love to be any part of their writing process, but OTOH I would NOT want to muck up their writing with my own.  O_O  And my own writing process is so inconsistent that I’m not sure I’d be much fun to write with, either.  But maybe someday you and I could take a stab at it.  ;D

20. Any advice for young writers/advice you wish someone would have given you early on?

YES.  Write what you love.  It doesn’t matter what it is or how “self-indulgent” it feels or how many times it’s been written before.  If you love it, write it. 

And FFS, finish things.  Even if you think they suck.  Even if they’re not popular.  If you let yourself never finish your stories, it becomes a habit that’s REALLY hard to break and eventually you’ll reach a point where you no longer know HOW.  And that’s a problem.  :P  (And speaking as someone who DID fall into this bad habit, it really, really is a problem and trust me... you don’t want it.  :P)

The only way you get better at writing is to do it.  Just... write.  I read a piece of advice once that basically said, “You’re going to reach a point where your writing sucks.  You’ll hate every word you put to paper.  It’s because you’ve leveled up enough that your taste has outstripped your ability.  The way to get past it is to KEEP WRITING.  Eventually, your ability will catch up until the next time you hit that plateau, and so on and so forth.”  It was the most liberating thing I ever read.  You WILL reach a point when you hate everything you write.  You will reach a point when you look back at things you wrote (AND LOVED) two years ago and think “Holy SHIT, what was I thinking, this is awful,” and THAT’S OK.  Both are signs that you’re improving, and that’s a wonderful thing.  ^_^

22. Tell us about the books on your “to write” list

...holy oh my goodness.  *eyes list of WiPs*  THE POST ISN’T LONG ENOUGH.  *falls over*  Especially if we’re talking fanfiction.  If we’re talking actual books, I really only have one WiP and I’m still not sure how to summarize it in any kind of a way that sounds appealing... especially as I haven’t even entirely sorted out who the main character is.  :P

25. What’s your worldbuilding process like?

Completely random.  No, really.  Anything can spark an idea.  Muet-verse sparked out of a really bizarre dream I had.  FYFM sparked out of someone else’s tumblr headcanon post.  I have an ExF story I’m working on that sparked out of two pictures I saw.  Once I have that idea, my brain gets the bit in its proverbial teeth and OFF IT RUNS.  I don’t know how to NOT write in entire universes.  Usually they build organically and I figure things out as I need to figure them out; other times, they’re more planned than that, but not by much.

40. Do you look up to any of your writer buddies?

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.  Like, I literally cannot single anyone out.  I think you’re all amazing, and I think you write a thousand times better than I do.  If you think this answer is about you?  IT IS.  EVERY ONE OF YOU.

49. Favorite fictional world?

...too many to count.  -.-;;;  No, but for real.  I have SO MANY favorite fictional worlds and I could not even BEGIN to narrow that down.  For my own worlds, Muet-verse is probably at the top of the list right now, with the No Man is an Island-verse running a close second and both of my aro/ace!Courfeyrac x Feuilly ‘verses running a close third.  I also REALLY like the ExF fantasy AU that I started and am planning to try to actually write for ExF week.  I also really, really love this long, sprawling fantasy/modern reincarnation RP ‘verse that my friend Wren and I built back in college.  It’s still one of my favorite places to play.  ^_^

As for favorite published worlds?  Yikes.  YIKES.  Seriously too many to count, but some that make the list: Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels and Tir Alainn worlds.  Rob Thurman’s Cal Leandros and All-Seeing Eye worlds, Sarah Monette’s Melusine world, Patrick Thomas’ Bulfinche’s Pub world, SO MANY TV SHOW AND MOVIE WORLDS, and I know I’m leaving out a thousand book worlds, too, but those are a few, at least.  ^_^

#ask meme answers #THANK YOU #this was way more fun than grading #^_^ #kingesstropolis #conversations through replies