Tumgik
#i am doing my best but i am still human after all and only one human at that
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Day Off {Gojo Satoru}
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Pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader
Trigger warning: none
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Overlapping days off were the most rare thing in the world, coming right after Gojo Satoru and his powers. Somehow, the two of you got blessed with not only overlapping days off but on a Monday as well.
And Gojo wasn't one to refuse some extra hours of sleep. Especially with you by his side.
When the two of you started dating, Gojo would insist on sleeping over to your house when it came to spending the night together. He had never told you because he thought it wouldn't match well with his usual carefree stance but it was definitely due to him wanting to know if your surroundings were safe.
After the months passed and your relatioship became more serious, he would insist on you sleeping over to his... house. By all means, his apartment was located in one of the most expensive flats in Tokyo and the first time he brought you there, you had spent at least an hour refusing to even sit on his couch.
You certainly had gotten far because now you refused to leave his bed.
"Mmm good morning," you felt his arms wrapping tighter around you, bringing you closer to him.
There was something godly about Gojo and you knew he knew it. From the way his body was always the right temperature to the wa his white hair fell on his face. His morning voice was always raspy from the hours gone by without having been used and his blue eyes shone brighter than the sun. He knew he was good looking and he wasn't going to stop bragging about it.
"Come on wake up."
There was also something annoying about him. He always wanted to get his way. If he didn't? Well the consequences were...
"I am up! I am up!" You bursted out laughing, trying to avoid him to the best of your abilities. Gojo tickling you was always unavoidable whenever you didn't wake up with him. He used to let you sleep a little longer if he happened to wake up before you but only during the first two months of your relationship.
"I love you." He groaned. It didn't take him long to wrap almost his entire body around you like a human koala.
"I can see that..."
"You're supposed to say that you love me back."
"Stop whining."
During those kind of moments Gojo was vulnerable. He would let you do anything to him; pinch his cheeks, ruffle his hair, you name it and he wouldn't say no. He didn't make it hard for you to flip the two of you over with you laying on top of him.
"Go back to sleep Satoru."
"I love it when you say my name," you raised your head from his chest as soon as you heard that and the look in your eyes wasn't a happy one. "I could have added 'during sex', but I didn't. Because I always love it when you say my name."
You really wanted to pretend to be mad at him but the overall softness of him was making it extremely difficult.
"Can we go back to sleep now?"
"You won't be able to fall asleep at night and you know it," his hand found your hair, caressing it gently. He was right, it was already 11 am and the two of you were still wrapped in his satin bed sheets.
"You wouldn't let me sleep anyways."
"Your words not mine."
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otomehonyaku · 2 days
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Diabolik Lovers Lost Eden Stellaworth Tokuten Short Stories スペシャル特典小冊子 ☽ Ruki ver.
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This short story booklet was part of the Stellaworth set for Lost Eden! Keep reading below the cut for Ruki's version. Yuma's, Kou's,and Azusa's are coming soon!
[Yuma's version] [Kou's version] [Azusa's version]
Special thanks to @karleksmumskladdkaka for providing the scans ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
When I think about it, I have rarely been alone since those three became my brothers. It is not that we spent 24 hours a day in each other’s presence, but the fact that I had people to call family again after losing everything eased my loneliness.
I wonder if that’s the reason why I am still genuinely not used to not being in the pictures that my brothers send us from time to time, even though I don’t really want to admit it.
The one who’d made the suggestion after a while of living together was her.
“Why don’t we send them something back?”
And so the seed was planted.
“If I’m also thinking of sending them pictures, then they must be thinking the same thing at home,” she told me with a smile, “so I’m sure they’ll be happy if we do.”
I knew that she had a point, but there was a certain awkwardness to taking staged pictures with her and sending them to my brothers. I considered flatly rejecting the idea at first because I thought it was embarrassing, but I came around immediately when I remembered the way her face had brightened when she brought it up.
The two of us ran away from the human world. From Kou, Yuma, and Azusa. Ever since she and I started living together in a crumbling Eden, I have begun to realise something–I have become completely beguiled by her. Or, rather, I might have had a soft spot for her since the beginning, but lately, the moments when I dropped my guard around her have increased considerably. Of course, I cannot convince myself to tell her that.
It’s only natural when I consider all we have been through together. To stay behind in Eden even after the war ended, then, was nothing but my own selfish idea. She was under no obligation to join me.
Nevertheless, she has stayed with me all this time, and she has truly helped make the best out of every day. It’s simply impossible not to love her for that, even though I know she had wanted to be by my side from the beginning. 
In all honesty, I am happy. Maybe that’s what has turned me into such a softie, I thought, smiling wryly. I was loath to admit it, but the plain fact that I had found happiness with her was probably the reason why.
“Ruki… Don’t you want to take a picture?” She gazed at me a little nervously. Maybe she thought she had upset me because I had kept quiet.
“No, it’s a good idea. Like you said, I think Kou and the others would love that.”
“Let’s do it, then!”
“Yes, let’s.”
Before I had even finished speaking, she darted out of the room to get the camera. As I watched her run off, I realised my approval might have pleased her more than it would my brothers. My expression inadvertently softened at the thought.
She told me the camera was a gift from Azusa. Come to think of it, the photo album that my brothers had given me a little while ago had also been Azusa’s idea.
“Smile!”
“...Wait.”
I grasped her hand before she could click the shutter.
“What’s the fun in a picture of me by myself? Get over here.”
She hesitated a little, making some foolish suggestions on how we should take our picture, but I ignored her and snaked an arm around her waist. Holding her close to me would make things much easier.
“This way, you’ll be in the frame too,” I whispered into her ear. 
Her shoulders twitched a little as she held her breath, and her ears started to redden. What a hopeless girl. I was sure this was not the side of her she wanted recorded on film for others to see.
If I truly cared for the picture for my brothers, I would have stopped there. However, the feeling of her warm body in my arms was too tempting. I decided to tease her a little more. I leaned down to whisper in her ear again, closer than before. 
“Save that face for later tonight.”
Her voice quivered as she whispered my name in response... 
Oh, this was bad. I wish I could say that I truly intended to leave it at teasing, but my body was acting on its own.
Sorry, Kou, Yuma, Azusa–you will have to wait for the picture a little longer.
However, when she understood that I wanted to take the camera from her, she spoke.
“But… we really are going to send them a picture, right?” So, let’s actually take a proper picture. Her unspoken words lingered in the air. She had gotten more perceptive recently.
“...Of course. Let’s continue this tonight, then.”
I let out a heavy sigh. 
I really had been going soft, but it could not be helped. Especially not around my lovely wife.
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codenamesazanka · 1 day
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Yeah I had my doubts about Deku from the moment Uraraka was like "I've been pondering what Toga said, the things that made her who she is today, her actions against society but also the way society let her down to begin with, our role as heroes, if the way we're handling this is really the correct way just because we call her a villain" and all Deku could say to her was "yeah, when the plot shoved an image of Shigaraki crying as a child in my mind I suddenly realized that the person who has been pointing out the obvious flaws in our society from day on might be a victim if I pretend he's still a crying child"
I'm not saying that Uraraka is the best or anything but she's really coming in clutch by... doing the bare minimum, especially compared to other characters
Uraraka did the best out of any of the saving 'trio'!!!! (quartet if we want to count Shoji???) Even from the very start, when Toga ambushed Uraraka during the PLF War Arc, Uraraka is the only one to feel unforced, natural sympathy for Toga. She had no family ties or blood connection to Toga; she wasn't given a psychic vision of an innocent and hurt child; their clash wasn't demanded by fate; and she wasn't put on the other side of an 'Issue' like Quirk Counseling. Uraraka really just took a good look at Toga, noticed she was crying, and that started her journey in questioning the dynamics between Hero and Villain.
None of those connections are bad per se, but they do create an obligation Heroes have towards the Villain and gives them an incentive to help. Shouto needs to help Dabi because they're brothers; Shoji needed to stop the heteromorphs because their group reputation is at stake; and Deku had the convoluted AFOFA business. Uraraka had no incentive. She did not need to even think about Toga after their encounter, but she did! She went out of her way to do so.
And the resolution was on point! It actually solved Toga's problem. Toga feared that she wasn't seen as human, that her blood drinking will never be accepted, that no one will ever return her affections because they're unnatural. So here's Uraraka saying that, no, she is human, she will give blood, she accepts Toga's method of affections. Through Uraraka's journey, it's consistent - she said at the beginning she didn't know what was normal for Toga, that she didn't realize Toga was a person.
Her origin of smiles fitted with Toga's smiling too - Ochako wanted to be a hero because she wanted people to be happy; she became Toga's hero when she made Toga happy by accepting that happiness can look different to Toga, due to her quirk and background and it doesn't necessarily mean it's evil.
She even later says that 'all the signs were there from the beginning' but she didn't noticed them, so she acknowledge her role in all this!
I mean, I still have issues with how quirk counseling and abuse wasn't addressed. And Uraraka did actually wait until the last minute to address Toga - she only started to tell Toga she wanted to talk about love when Toga was in danger of warping away from her. It is the bare minimum. But the primary issue of 'Toga wasn't seen as human' was indeed addressed with 'Uraraka said her smile was cute (human)'. It worked.
Meanwhile, Deku's saving of Tenko is a mess. At first it seemed like Tenko's problem was 'my family and people on the streets were bystanders to my pain, what the fuck. why did no one help me," and the story made hints towards having civilians be more pro-active and stop relying on Heroes so much; but then nvm. That gripe Tenko had is never addressed by Deku. The Walk apparently never happened and never left a scar on Tenko's psyche. No problem there!
Instead, Tenko's problem became 'I think I'm evil because I was born with Decay, who could validate my existence the way I am, wow I'm full of self-loathing and all my anger is actually me projecting it out.' and Deku was able to swoop in to solve part of the problem by, true, validating Tenko's existence by holding his hands, but never actually saying anything about Decay or the accident or anger. Guess Tenko just has to live with the fact that maybe he is evil, but it's nice of Deku to still accept him. But then it doesn't matter anyways because AFO was behind everything.
Just. Deku-Shigaraki/Tenko storyline was so long and so convoluted and so bizarre and never felt sincere. And so we ended up with 'I just saved The Crying Child but now I will pummel the body the Crying Child inhabits without care for what happens afterwards because AFO took it over and I'm over the saving thing and so if Tenko/Shigaraki dies because I smashed his body to pieces, well, he was unforgivable anyways. see ya."
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yaut-jaknowit · 23 hours
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Aboard a communal ship with many different species (lots of humans though) A human fed up with her yautja partner always comparing her to yautja. Gets drunk at the bar and does karaoke to Human by Christina Perri. Prompting all the human at the bar to sing to lol
Am same anon that asked for the mechanic story with the trio of bad bloods. If it's okay with you, my color can be a blue diamond 🔷️
I'm Only Human
Pairings: Zaikeh (Female Yautja) x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 2986
Summary: With your patience stretched thin, you burst at the seems. That was the last time you could handle being compared to a Yautja. You are human. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it. So, you take yourself to the nearest bar on the communal ship and drink away your problems. Your only three friends come to cheer you.
Author Note: Welcome back, Blue Diamond! I love your idea with the mechanic! It's been a huge hit. Thank you for nicknaming yourself. I can't wait to see what else you throw at me.
Masterlist
Ao3
Time in, time out. It’s the same thing every day. Despite the very fact you know you aren’t as strong or as mighty or as fit as the weakest of Yautjas, Zaikeh tells you this. Every. Single. Time. Can’t reach a bowl? A Yautja could. Can’t lift a box? A Yautja could. It’s grown old but the pain was fresh everything time she points out the difference.
At first, you tried to bring it to her attention that it wasn’t nice to say that to you. Yes, you know that you are incredibly weaker than her every sense of the word. Females were stronger, more intelligent than their male counterparts. While you are simply not.
The two points didn’t connect in Zaikeh’s mind. Each time, she would brush it off. Feelings and emotions for a Yautja aren’t as well developed compared to humans. They react more on instinct than what they feel. Unless that feeling is mating.
Your feet paused just shy of the front door of your shared quarters. Your hand rests on the door frame as you peeked over your shoulder at Zaikeh. The large, black female Yautja sat in the living room, on the floor. One of her many weapons in her lap, sharpening the blade.
“Hey Zai, I’m going over to A'jiadh’s,” you announced. A’jiadh was part of the trio alongside with Mai’tuiudh. The three of them have settled on this communal ship for the time being. Until an enforcer finds them and sends them on the run again. They’re famous for how well they invade and kill any enforcers their kind sends after them.
The black Yautja picked up her head and cocked her head to the side. “Why are you going over there?” she grunted then returned her attention to the weapon sharpening. Zai was meticulously about her cleaning of both her weapons and armor anytime they get dirtied. A'jiadh lacks this skill. Mai’tuiudh lies closer to Zaikeh than A'jiadh.
You could swear you had told her earlier in the week. “To hang out. He’s going to help me with some language practice and sparring.” While being on the run, it’s best to be prepared. This includes knowing how to fight off an enemy.
If you were to be captured by an enforcer, god only knows what they might do to you once learning you willingly live Bad Bloods.
Zaikeh hummed and inspected the sharpness of her blade. “Any Yautja would know how to fight by your age.” Your nails turn white as they press into the metal door frame. You refrained from speaking the retort that sat bitterly on your tongue. How does she not see the hurt in your eyes at her words?
“Well, I can still learn, can’t I?” The words came out harsher than you were aiming for. The months just building up to a point you couldn’t hold it back anymore. She just huffed and continued to perfect the blade a little more. And that hurt.
Once the first crack in the dam raced up the wall, there was no stopping it from spiderwebbing out.
The first sting of tears crowded your lash line. A lump began to grow in your throat. “I can’t take it anymore!” you shouted and spun on your heels to face who you thought would be the end.
Everyone has a boiling point. Where it spills over the edge and creates a bigger mess in the end.
“Why do you constantly compare me to other Yautjas?! I’m not like them. I’m not a Yautja. I’m not like you!” Tears poured down your face as the first of your sobs broke free. The dam crumbling in your hands, far too late to stop it. The water gushing and taking you within its storm. “I’m human. I don’t think you’ve realized this yet.”
All the pain in your voice was evident.
She raised her head in surprised when you first yelled at the top of your lungs. Your voice echoing back at you in the limited space. Her forest green eyes were focused on you now. Not missing the way you cried with a flare of anger and sorrow filling your scent.
“I’m only human, Zai,” you whimpered and drew back into yourself. Defeat washed over you. It weighed down your shoulders as you looked upon your mate with hurt. “I’m only human.”
Then, you about faced and scrambled out of your shared quarters. This life will never be the same afterwards. She’ll come after you in a bit, letting you calm down from your outburst. First though, before you could allow for that to happen, you were going to skip A’jiadh’s and head to the nearest bar. You needed something to wash down the pain of the afternoon.
Though the alien words rolled over your head, you could understand the country feeling it gave. Species of all different kinds mingled both at booths and tables and on the dance floor. You, on the other hand, found roost on the darkest corner, place to sulk. A heavy, strong drink resting on the wooden table before you.
Condensation builds up on the glass, creating a ring on the coaster. You picked up the drink and took a mouth of the throat burning liquid. A buzz was beginning to build up by this point. It wasn’t to the degree you wouldn’t remember the next morning, but you’re steps wouldn’t the straightest. So, you stayed hold up in the corner, drinking away your reoccurring issues. One who was too oblivious to see the issues before her very eyes.
If you could, you would slap the Yautja silly. Maybe knock some sense into her with the way she’s been acting as of late. It’s only gotten worse. You don’t know if the other two had something to do about it. But, they seemed to endure your presences at least. Why else would A’jiadh invite you over to spar and whatnot.
Said Yautja must be confused on why you hadn’t shown up. Oh well. He’ll shoot a message over to Zai and she can be the one to explain her misdeeds.
You used the back of your hand to wipe the evidence of fresh tears away, gone from sight. Just in time too.
Three bodies slid into the booth before you. People you know. As much as you wished to pull a smile on your face, the alcohol and sorrow that filled your veins prevented that. You kept a blank expression on your features and just stared at the dark wood.
“Uh oh, trouble in paradise,” one of the aliens teased and nudged you with her elbow. You held your tongue and just lightly shrugged, uncaring of any of their words.
On the other side of the table, one of them ‘oo’ed and gave Vincy a look. “She’s truly in trouble if she’s pouting this bad,” Cog snickered then sat back in the booth, arms thrown over the back of the couch. Lestgawnt, the only one not to poke at you, butted his foot against your ankle. You only drew your limbs into your torso and turned to face the wall.
The group silenced themselves. Vincy placed her hand on your shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong? What happened? Is Zaikeh still comparing you to her species?” she questioned with a softer tone time around. You sniffled and rubbed at your running rose with the back of your hand before nodding timidly.
Cog huffed and shook her head. “I can’t believe her! Does she not see you’re not a Yautja. I sweat, Yautjas are so full of themselves!” she muttered mostly to herself then leveled her gaze on you. “You know you are more than welcome to stay with one of us and get away from her. Clearly she doesn’t appreciate you the way you deserve.”
That tugged a smile onto your lips. You appreciated her. All them actually. Living with three aliens that knew little about humans was difficult. Until they landed here. There may not be many humans here but the two you found were great. Then there was Lest, a Jakor. He was cool to hang around with.
You glanced at each of them. All of their eyes were on you, even Lest’s. “Thanks but no thank you. I-I don’t want to leave her. I just need to get her to understand this comparison hurts me. Yautjas… they’re fucking stubborn.” Your curse and true words brought upon laughter amongst the table.
“I don’t know why you don’t just leave her ass. There are plenty of options around here. Like…” Vincy leaned on the table with her elbows and pointed into the crowd. “Like her. Damn, I want a piece of that.” More laughter bolstered into the air. You followed her finger to find a random alien that you didn’t even know the name of. Yes, she was attractive but Zaikeh had your heart.
Everything else about her was fine. She protected you, clothed you, sparred gingerly with you, taught you things you never thought were in existence. This was just the one thing she slacked on. You downed the rest of your drink and slammed it down on the table.
Your eyes met Cog on the other side of the table. “Let’s dance or sing. I need to get off of my ass. I need to get her off of my mind.” You couldn’t just sit in this corner for the rest of the night before you had retire back to your shared quarters. And face the Yautja after storming off. You dragged a hand over your features at the thought then shooed Vincy from your side.
The woman scooted out and offered your hand which you gladly took. She hauled you out of the booth and up onto your feet within the span of a couple of seconds. Lest and Cog moved out as well and guided you towards the dance floor packed with other bodies.
Vincy gave you a goofy look before rocking with the beat of the music. You couldn’t the small giggle that broke your tense shoulders.
With the alcohol in your system working its magic, you began to dance out your heart. Everything that’s been weighing on you as of late started wash off of you. It was relaxing to feel all your troubles just leave. You laugh and giggled and danced alongside your three friends.
From being on the run with a trio of Bad Bloods to cultural differences between you and Zai, to dance away the night was what you been needing. All it took was a few cups of alcohol to get you dancing. To feel the beat of the music draw you in and let the worries of your life wash away. You couldn’t help giggling every so often and bumping into any of your friends. Your steps are a little wobbly.
A couple of more drinks down the hatch had you standing on the only stage in the bar. One of your arms is slung over Vincy’ shoulder as she keep you standing. A microphone like device held in your hands as you sung out your heart.
Out of the billions of songs they had, you found the one you needed to let loose your frustrations.
Human by Christina Perri.
The lyrics appear upon a transparent screen but you didn’t need them. Not when it was sung from the depths of your heart. This song was heavily connected to your life at this very moment. It was fate to find this song when all your troubles began.
Eyes of many watched as the words, the lyrics poured from your lips like a waterfall. Every word pronounced with all the hurt you’ve had building up.
Tears sting your eyes, on the verge of crying in front of the crowd. Yet, you were in your own world. The music and alcohol working its magic on you. It loosened up your tense emotions, letting you be free.
When the first tear rolled down your face, you opened your eyes when you felt a familiar stare. Instantly, your gaze darted to the entrance to find Zaikeh, standing there, a little out of breath. Her stance was tense, eyes pinned onto your trembling frame held up by Vincy. Her mandibles drew in tight to her face as she straightened her posture and watched the door.
“But I’m only human,” you sun directly in the microphone, hoping the words finally hit Zaikeh in the heart. Anything to get it through her thick skull that her comparison is hurting rather than helping. There’s nothing you could do to change yourself into what she wants.
“And I bleed when I fall down. I’m only human.” These lyrics meant a lot to you. It was not just the song but words you meant deep down. You can only be, do so much until you hit your limitations. The brick wall you couldn’t get passed or it would kill you.
You cried, shoulders sobbing and shaking. Vincy held you tighter, afraid you were going to topple over at the slightest breeze. “And I crash and I break down. Your words in my head, knives in my heart. You build me up and then I fall apart. ‘Cause I’m only human.” Zaikeh kept her eyes locked onto your form, watching as every tear fell and stained not only your cheeks but the metal floors as well.
The Yautja was glued to her spot and could only see the pain in your face as the words hit her. Vincy pulled you into a straighter position and off the stage as the song ended. You buried your face into her shoulder, body shaking with each heartbroken sob. Each one striking the black female straight into her heart.
Instantly, she was pushing her way through the crowd towards the group. Some of the members glared up at the Yautja only to realize who and what she is and backed off.
As she moved towards you, Lest and Cog saw the incoming danger and put themselves between you and Zaikeh. A scowl on each other faces. Cog crossed her arms and was ready to face down Zaikeh if it came down to that. Vincy kept tugging at you waist to get you away from the trouble about to rise. You latched onto her and stumbled with each step to keep up.
The human and Jakor didn’t stand a chance against Zaikeh and shoved the two of them out of her way. Cog slammed into another person while Lest was knocked into a wall. Vincy was the only one that stood in her pathing. She marched up to her, ready to pull you from the human. Vincy shoved you behind her and bared her teeth up at the Yautja in aggression.
“You aren’t allowed to see her! You fucked up and aren’t allowed to be around her,” Vincy snarled and pointed an challenging finger up at her. Zaikeh just stared down at this girl who barely reached her waist. She quiet literally grabbed Vincy by the head and picked her up.
Vincy screamed a war cry and swung and kicked at the Yautja, looking like a kitten trying to fight its mother. Zai simply dropped her off to the side then roared straight into the human’s face. The brown haired woman froze, stunned at the loudest of her roar.
This silence the rest of the bar. Everyone’s eyes on the two of you now. You picked up your head and found Zai’s attention had returned to you. She crowded your space and pushed you against the nearest wall. Your hands were grabbed and pinned to the hard surface she trapped you to. It was pointless to even attempt to fight this massive beast who owned your heart.
A whined built up in the back of your throat. A new fresh set of tears falling down your cheeks. You hiccupped, head tilted all the way back to expose your throat to her without meaning to. The alcohol in your system doing wonders.
It was heavy on your breath. Zaikeh could smell it. A huff sounded from the lumber giant. She reached down and easily tossed you onto her shoulder. On her heel, she spun around and marched out of the bar, not giving your three friends a look.
Not like any of them could do a thing to save you from your mate.
In the confides of your room, she set you down on the cool tile. At this point, you come to realize that this wasn’t your shared bedroom. This is your space on their ship. What was going on? There’s A’jiadh and Mai’tuiudh too. With all of their stuff packed up. You whined and clutched onto the arm Zaikeh offered you. Otherwise you would’ve been head over heels in the worst way possible.
“What’s… what’s happenin’?” you slurred, wobbling a little. There wasn’t a clear thought in your mind right now.
The Yautja looked down at you and held you to her thigh. “We are leaving,” she answered. A’jiadh and Mai were moving supplies into the ship. A human sounded from you.
“Oh, nice.” It didn’t register inside of your brain what was happening or what that meant. You were in your own la-la land, happy as can be. She must have realized this and huffed before carrying you into your original bed. It felt like heavy to lay on.
She tucks in the blankets tightly to your body. A waterskin was set off to the side, within reach. You hummed and tried to reach up towards her. Something inside of you felt angry towards her but you couldn’t place your drunk finger on it.
A soft kiss was placed to your forehead. You were out like a light. A morning full of fun surprises were going to meet you the next time you woke up. One including a raging hangover.
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svsss-fanon-exposed · 5 months
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I want to express my gratefulness for those who comment, or debate, or correct, or provide context on my posts. Something like this has to be a sort of collaborative effort, after all-- since I have not been in this fandom for too long, much of fanon history itself is something I haven't lived through and am less familiar with-- so I really do need help learning where all these things come from to make my posts more informative.
Furthermore, sometimes I can word things in ways where my meaning isn't entirely clear, but I can't tell this until I get a comment on my post debating something, when I can realize that "oh this didn't come across the way I intended," whether it's in agreement with a debate or even just a slightly different interpretation, after which I can go back to edit and make it more clear for readers.
I'm really just doing this sort of thing for fun, but I do want it to be an accurate resource-- so I'm always thankful for those that will help me to make it more accurate!
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gatun-gatunesco · 1 year
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#and so i came back here. because in here i can find joy and sorrow. laugh a little and cry a lot because someone made a post i resonate with#it makes me feels understood. a private and intimate place that is also shared at the same time. and strangely; like a home#but i came back without knowing who i am. I see someone else in the mirror. Is that a monster? a sinner? a human? a normal man?#after all that effort leaving depression and self hate from my adolescence behind. from being proud of myself for being different to all me#was all a lie? how could i do such awful and terrible thing to the person i swore to protect? the person i love the most#i said i would never do that kind of unforgivable act. And here i am. Alive after the event. I want to drop dead. To dissapear from here.#But at the same time i want to fix what i did. in order to do that i need to heal. to change. be happy. to live. and i hate it#how can i do all of that with the weight of guilt crushing me and telling me i killed myself that day? i am just a shell of who i was#how to change what i thought was the best version of me? i was supposed to be different no harmful and kind man!!!#i already asked for help. and they told me it was not all my fault. But i still think it is. There is no way it can be 50/50#physical actions are only responsibility of the ones who made it. circumstances are not a reason to diminish them guilt#a confused person is not deserving of any part of the guilt. they do not have control over themselves. but the other ones sure have it#yes. they might have started and added little physical actions. but i refused and it never came to completion. which is the opposite of min#physical trauma can spawn emotional and mental trauma as well. is way more bad and deep that the emotional one i might have#i want to kill that trash in front of the mirror. why are you still living bitch? just to be a parasite and hurt people on the go?#to make irreversible mistakes that affects every person around you? your decisions never end well. why do not you just give up already?#and yet here i am. trying to not isolate myself thanks to the safe place i found here. I can write what is on my mind. gives me some relief#because the only person i talked everyday is the same one i hurted as i never thought i would in my life#Hope i can found redemption one day. I hope they can heal and be happy soon and forever.#I am going to always be worry about them (i am sure of that) but i wish nothing but the best for them. I want nothing to hurt them again.#They never deserved the trauma and guilt. They suffered more than enough way before i step in and fucked up everything.#Life. if you can hear me. Please give them recovery. happyness. health and lots of love. They deserve it. Please#They did nothing wrong! Take them pain away and put it in me. I will stay alive just for that if is neccesary#I wanted to kill myself way long ago. but i still here. I might want to kill myself again. but i still will be here.#Just leave them be happy. That is what i really want
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severepink · 4 months
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Observing Adam
Where I go way too deep into something that probably isn't that deep. It's long, it's long as hell.
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Okay, so you'd think with how Adam talks he's just a typical misogynist, right?
This man worships pussy. So much so, he's named a whole ass angel, one of his best, Vagina. You'd say that he objectifies them and thinks of them as being lesser, but I don't think that's the whole story. In fact, I think he might be the original simp.
All of these exorcists so far have been women. All of them. He refers to them as ladies or bitches interchangeably, he sees them as being completely capable of absolutely decimating leagues of some of the most vile beings who have ever existed, and they have, to the point it was only after thousands of years that there's been a risk to this hierarchy.
He's a self-centered, egotistical, loud-mouthed, arrogant asshole, no doubt about it, but I'm beginning to suspect something now.
If Adam and Lilith were created from the same dust, if they were created as equals, I am more than willing to bet... Lilith is also a self-centered, egotistical, arrogant asshole. But, she's likely far more intelligent, composed, and duplicitous.
Lilith was allowed to refuse Adam and leave of her own free will and garnered her own independence. A new wife was created for Adam, she was replaced. My guess, is she thought Adam wouldn't be able to live without her, to come back and find herself replaced entirely, she was enraged.
I believe both Adam and Lilith were both incredibly dominant individuals who fought over ideas, thoughts, and ultimately in the bedroom as well, if we take into account the creationist stories.
I'm willing to bet she likely manipulated Lucifer into twisting humanity against its original concept. What if Lucifer's intention truly was to just spark something within Eve, like independence and thought and creation, but it was Lilith's poison within the fruit that tainted her, then subsequently Adam, with sin.
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Lilith thrived in hell, while Lucifer's dreams of creation were dashed. She didn't suffer as he did, instead the power of her voice grew with hell. Her voice grew so powerful that heaven found it to be a threat, her actions instigated the beginning of exterminations.
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Charlie said that when she was a little girl, she didn't know Lucifer at all. I don't think this was because of Lucifer, he's seen here, picking her up, inviting her to share in his thoughts and dreams, showing her something wonderful. Something she could see within herself.
Charlie says that it's this moment that sparked her will to fight for her dreams. Which is strange, because at the very beginning of the story, Charlie says it was her mother's dream that was passed down to her.
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Lilith took Charlie away. In this scene, Lucifer wasn't done showing Charlie his thoughts and dreams, he's still yearning to show his daughter these things at this point.
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Lucifer loves his daughter. He loves Charlie so, so, so much. So why wasn't he allowed to build a relationship with his daughter for the longest time? He was waiting for the opportunity to get to know her, but with how much he adores her why didn't he do it sooner? He didn't comment on 'It took you a while-' he just said he missed her smile. They don't want to be pulled apart, again.
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Now, we know Vivziepop has said that Lucifer and Lilith love each other, but Lilith 'wears the pants' in the relationship. We see all of the pictures all over the walls of a supposedly happy family. I don't think the relationship was as loving as originally portrayed and Lilith is a woman who desires control above all else. She likely tried to mitigate what influence Lucifer had over their daughter when she thought his angelic thoughts and behaviors became more than what she approved of.
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Lets take it back to Adam and Lute for a moment. Again, Adam is a loud mouthed idiot, he's a jerk. The moment he realizes there are demons in heaven, he's ready to go on the attack. It's only because of Lute that he didn't end up doing something absolutely idiotic.
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I gotta say, Lute and Adam's relationship is an absolutely fascinating one. He's a disrespectful dick head in how he talks, but how he acts is a different story. He allows Lute to man-handle him. He does listen to her, even if he's a whiny bitch about it.
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Look at him, this is the face of a man listening, a dumb one, but a dude listening all the same. He doesn't manhandle her back, he doesn't even pull away until she lets go of his collar. Of all the shit he complained about, between being grabbed and being told what to do, his biggest complaint is that she's telling him to shush.
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We know that Adam is the one who suggested the exterminations to begin with, so Sera says, and this was because of the power that Lilith was amassing. To him, Lilith is a threat. Even when he was willing to move on, to go to another wife when Lilith didn't want him or want to submit to him (fair babe, he's a bit of an idiot), she came back with an angel and proceeded to manipulate his new wife Eve. This is the supposed progenitor of man-kind, the original dick (hilariously enough), the reason civilization even exists at all. He and Eve had to fight for their lives after being tempted with the fruit. They had immortality, they had no ideas of shame, they were supposedly 'innocent' creatures before Lilith and Lucifer came along. He and Eve had to fight tooth and nail to survive after being cast from Eden. I think it shows in how willing and ready he is to take lead and do what he believes needs to be done, now out of a need for entertainment rather than a need to defend or protect. But, he still stopped to listen to Lute's advice. In the mythological story of Adam and Eve, Adam is the one who has to tell Eve that god said don't eat the fruit. Eve never heard god speak to her, so she was vulnerable to the snake's manipulations. She will now die because she ate it, and because she did not want Adam to take another wife, convinced him to eat it unknowingly. Funnily enough, Adam tried to explain to god that 'she lied to me and gave me the fruit' and in this actual mythology, Adam was punished for listening to his wife. Even without mentioning Lilith in the original mythology, Eve didn't want Adam to take another wife, so when we consider it within the context of Hazbin Hotel, it may be likely that's how it went down. Eve knew of Lilith, knew that she could be replaced, and decided that she would take Adam with her.
I believe that Adam does and did rely on the women in his life to help him with direction. I think Adam knows he can be an idiot and is willing to listen, even if he doesn't agree with what he's hearing. He did listen to Charlie in the beginning, he just didn't believe in her, like everyone else and he, out of anyone there, probably had the most reason not to. Cain and Abel were his and Eve's sons, his own child became the first murderer. Out of jealousy, the same kind of jealousy that no doubt has caused Lilith to act how she did. Adam isn't going to have empathy for sinners. His family, his legacy, were filled with the original sinners. He probably had to kill his son Cain in hell during the first exterminations. What do you think he would have had to feel, if it came to be a fact that sinners could be redeemed? That maybe his son, could've been redeemed? Or any of his progeny for that matter? How did it feel when his sons, his progeny, weren't given the same mercy as the Hellborn that Lucifer managed to keep protected through some deal with the angels or god? Not to mention that Charlie could've been his daughter. Charlie is the product of the people who completely and totally destroyed the paradise he'd been born into. She's the daughter who is protected and immune from the slaughter while all of his sons and daughters are judged and killed. I believe, even though he was a dickish prankster to Charlie, he was surprisingly patient and even somewhat amicable, willing to even ask her how her weekend was like he was just trying to get to know her.
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Adam could just see all of the angels under his employ as being disposable. He doesn't have to name them, or think about them in any individual fashion. But, he knows Vaggie, recognized her instantly. Thought she was badass. Lute's the one who saw her, tore her wings off, and walked away. I'm surprised they even let her live, because this just goes against everything they're doing. They're an army and they saw one of their own showing empathy to the enemy.
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Look at this dumb ass. He's being a shit-head, a dick, a bastard. But, he admires Vaggie's ability to pull Charlie, congratulates her, this dude isn't even judging her for being a lesbian. I don't think it's because he objectifies women, this dude loves women, he just does. He respects fellow vagina lovers. I don't think he respects liars in the slightest though. He's being underhanded, he's trying to be manipulative (he's not very good at it). I think he's brutally open and honest about everything and that's probably one of the reasons he's such a bastard anyways, because sometimes you just need to shut-up and he's not good at that.
I don't think he respects Sera for that either, he's more than willing to let others know what the hell he's doing, but under Sera's lead, he can't be open about it. I don't think it's his jam to act this way, it's why he sucks so bad at it and I think that's why Lilith is so antithetical to him. I also think that's why he's possibly even being manipulated.
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It's kind of crazy that Adam is the only one who tries to come up with what allows someone to get into heaven. So here's his list: 1. Act Selfless: Maybe at one point he was! He had to have been, to be one of the progenitors of mankind, he would have had to work, sacrifice, and give to his wife and children for them all to survive. Eve would have had to do the same, no doubt. He may not seem selfless, due to his raunchy behavior, but he's served heaven since he's been there. He's served humanity in some kind of facet. 2. Don't Steal: Considering the only other humans are his spawn, he likely had to try and get them to not steal from one another for them all to have an equal opportunity of survival. He and Eve likely both knew they would need to work together to survive.
3. Stick it to the man: This, however, is interesting. Who is 'The Man' he speaks of? God? The only other people over him or were equal to him were women. He speaks like a rocker, and I think in this case he's using the term 'The Man' in a gender neutral way. I think he allowed some amount of Authority to Lilith when they were supposed to be seen as equals, it comes so naturally to him as a character when it comes to the other women he's been interacting with. I think she is the 'man' that he's been sticking it to- Pun somewhat intended. ((This third one may also simply be a tongue in cheek reference to when Alex Brightman played Dewey in School of Rock on Broadway! Thank you to the user who brought this to my attention!))
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Adam is a bit of a hypocrite, isn't he? He likes to fuck, he's made that abundantly clear. Full of lust you could say. It was his original purpose after all, and he is judging Angel Dust for something he probably would've done himself at one point or has considered doing (maybe not the having sex with men part). Angel Dust does all of these things, Adam doesn't even deny it. He even looks nervous. He's angry, but doesn't deny that Angel has done those things. He doesn't explain it away or try to lie or move the goal posts, he's just asking what is an actually very valid question.
Why isn't Angel Dust there if he can do things equal to what Adam himself hasn't done? Serenity continues that line of thought. It isn't until Charlie is realizing no one knows what it takes to get into heaven.
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Adam is more than willing to let Lute take the lead here, he's willing to give her the stage to clap back, he's giving her back-up antics. By all means, they could be pushing and fighting one another, there could easily be body language expressing something other than their general comfort around one another. They aren't fighting for a spotlight like you'd expect Adam to try and do considering his egotistical attitude.
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Adam fucking sucks at keeping his mouth shut and he sucks at lying. He nearly blew the secret out of the bag once, this time, Sera is the only one who tries to stop him and to be honest? Lute looks a bit too thrilled at it. He knows he fucked up, but he doesn't think it's a big deal that anyone would know. For fucks sake, they've already condemned souls, his progeny, to suffer. What's the big deal if he kills them?
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I have to re-iterate what's happening here. Charlie is proud she caused this chaos, that she caused these angels to fight amongst themselves, even if in this case it's a good thing. But, this is like history repeating itself to Adam, the reflection of his ex-wife, entering his domain, causing strife among his people, being happy about it.
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And the venom he expresses when it comes to the 'liar' portion, god Alex Brightman destroyed when he got to this portion specifically. There is some vehement disgust in his tone when he says liar.
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Adam isn't a good person now. But, I think he used to be a good person. By all means, Adam himself could've been the first murderer when his wife made her mistake. He, at one point in time, had to have been good enough to foster civilization itself with Eve. Both good and bad. Adam's original purpose was to be fruitful and multiply. Ordained by god (or maybe just angels) himself, divine power directed and created him to fuck. He didn't chase his ex-wife down, he was given a new one, Lilith was allowed to leave. When he left things alone, when he tried to move on, his ex-wife and a scorned angel destroyed the paradise he was in with Eve. He had to struggle and toil, he had to feel shame in his own body. He had to find out his first born son was the first murderer. His second son killed. We don't know if this is going to be canon in the story, a lot has changed, and if Adam is the first soul who reached heaven, then what did happen to Abel? Was Abel considered a sinner? Or did Cain kill Abel after Adam had passed? Either way, he had to witness his children kill, he had to watch his descendants behave in a range from saints and monsters. He's seen genocides, he's seen famine, war. Adam is desensitized to the plights of his descendants. Maybe he even saw it as a duty to cleanse the universe of their existence at one point, because they were his responsibility.
At the end of this episode, he is properly scolded by Sera and does seem ashamed of himself. He isn't huffy, he is reminded that he should be ashamed of acting that way.
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I love Lute's enthusiasm, she's absolutely brutal when talking about Vaggie and with how she handled Vaggie. I think it's funny that Lute is so brutal she's even made Adam uncomfortable. It's cute that he's made uncomfortable by the excitement and all he does is tell Lute, the premier hype woman over here, to chill. She's so proud of herself too, look at her.
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He fully expects these exorcist bad bitches to go in there and fuck shit up. But, you know it's hilarious that he's throwing horns? This dude, this angel. First human soul in heaven, loving rock n' roll, the devil's music, and throwing motherfucking horns. It's poetic really. I think we can probably assume where things are going.
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Now, this is the first point we've seen Adam being a real piece of shit to Lute. I don't think Adam likes it when people think he's too dumb to notice something, especially something so damn obvious. This is such a drastic moment of vitriolic, uncontrolled anger directed towards Lute. Adam knows he isn't the brightest tool in the shed. He likely knows he's obtuse and misses shit. It's why he sucks at lying, he knows he's not smart. That is why I think he's afforded women opportunities to direct him without fighting back against their advice and their choices. I'm sure Lilith made it obvious how dumb she thinks Adam is. I'm wondering if this might be where their ground breaking fight might've come from. Who's to say he didn't allow Lilith to take the lead, or listen to her like he's done with Lute here and now? Perhaps to an even greater point? He listened to Eve and ate from the fruit of knowledge and he was punished for it. Being seen as so dumb he can't formulate a simple fact is a sore spot for him.
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Adam is incredibly powerful. It took a bit out of him to exercise that power, probably because he's out of practice just like Lucifer said. At one point, he probably wasn't so sloppy and weak willed. He's gotten lazy. Sloth like.
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I think it got real personal here. How viscerally and personally he attacked Charlie. No one but Charlie truly thought sinners could be redeemed, or that they were even worth it. Not even one of the original sinners. Maybe he never considered the possibility, maybe what happened really did make him see the world as black and white to cope with that happened to him, his wife, his children. Charlie's desire to fight this idea would destroy the foundation for all of his coping through the years. He stopped seeing them as family, even though he's grandiose about his founding role in humanity. Does that itch the guilt that may lurk under the surface?
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I don't think Adam thought much of Charlie at all. I don't think he had any intention of coming to kill her in the beginning, despite seeing her, despite who her parents were. But, I think with the constant push, with how eager she was to disrupt the pre-conceived idea of order, it reminded Adam and reflected her parents so much, he was eager to kill her for revenge against them. I think this electrical interference on the mask is a direct reflection of sin. Namely, wrath, in this moment.
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Now, this. THIS. Is something that made me want to write this whole fucking essay. Is Lucifer implying that he not only gave Eve the Fruit from the tree of knowledge, but FUCKED HER TOO? Homies, I'm sorry but holy shit. That is some hydrating tea. I'd be pretty pissed too, fucked over twice by women who were supposed to be literal soul mates, who you were made for, who were made for you?
I knew he would have a goatee, I could almost hear it. I gotta say, I'm a sucker for how he looks. I think he's hot. He is a bastard, but so are a lot of the hot dudes in this show. It's just a theme.
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This exact series of lines prompted so many of the thoughts that I had about Adam and why he thinks or acts the way he does. At one point, Adam did have to work himself to the bone and learn to survive from scratch alongside Eve. He isn't entirely without cause to not think that he deserves some respect or recognition from his descendants.
But, that doesn't give him the right to act like god himself. It's... well... Blasphemous. Isn't it? One of the worst sins is to think yourself to be worthy of worship, as if you're a god.
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This is the moment that gave me empathy for them both. You could probably see the kind of loving person Adam could have been at one point with how he looks at Lute, even as he's laying there, dying. He's not crying like a bitch, just looking at Lute softly. Lute screaming for him, screaming his name. They cared for each other deeply.
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And this... and this.... and this. WHAT DEAL DID YOU MAKE, LILITH? Did you make it with Sera? Did you make it with Adam? Did you make it with Lute? Did you really just want a little 'vacay' away from the hell you helped create? Left her husband, depressed and lonely. Left her daughter without any care or guidance. Maybe Alastor was sent in her place, perhaps? Seven years since he was seen after all, but why wouldn't he show up sooner if Lilith did care? Did she make a deal with Lute and Adam? Did she let Adam smash it so she could stay in heaven? Did Lute let her stay in exchange for getting Adam out of a position of power? Or was it maybe Sera who commissioned Lilith with a deal? Either way, I'm in full belief that it wasn't Adam's idea to move the extermination day up. I think he's a patsy, a scapegoat. I think Lute may have been manipulated, potentially, into manipulating Adam into this position. Was it even really Adam who came up with the idea to do the exterminations? Or was he the one who simply decided to fight originally because he was told heaven was at risk due to Lilith's rising power? The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions. I think it could be any number of these. Either way, Lute certainly does think she had authority over Lilith. Is it Lute just having hubris? Or is Lilith truly bound, just like Alastor, Husk, and Angel Dust?
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Of course, now that we know a soul can be redeemed... and we certainly know that angels can fall. I don't think this will be the last we see of Adam.
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mrfoox · 1 year
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me: -literally crying as i explain how roo was extra kind to me when i expected the bare minimum-
roo: miranda... thats the norm. you should expect guys to be gentlemen. men should be kind to women
me who has had so many things mentally damaged by men around me and thus have little expectations of others: um.... -sobbing- don’t think that is the normal thing for every guys alive
#miranda talking shit#at one thing i agree.... but as usual i dont apply but men should always treat women well....#he just heard me explain about the london trip and he kept saying 'thats the least he could do' binch no?!#i only required him to get me from the airport and bring me one sandwich... he went 5 levels higher than that even though i said he didnt#need to. ive had men be kind to me ofc but like...... roo is on a new level. thats why i thought i was in love with him. the amount of#respect and care he have given me... without.......... expecting anything back??? bro literally the best man out there#i am so used to always doing my best to be kind and helpful and caring but i never expect anything back. im not used to getting that#treatment. my shitty self image thinks i dont deserve it and need to earn the right to be treated above avarge#roo has cared for me and loved me and supported me as an friend and human for so many years and i cant ever repay him#when i lose hope in humanity or (cis/straight) men... i think about roo and all he does and have done and im like ah#no they are out there and called roo! i can talk about him forever like....#i dont want to be like... HE SAVED ME but.... he was a big part of a group of people who helped#me feel love and acceptance and find healing at my lowest point in life. he cant ever understand how much he have done#he didnt save me but he helped me to find the strenght to be brave and dare and live?#dude literally picked me up less than a year after my scide attempt when i was just.... trying to not attempt it again and fall back#on destructive behaviours. and he just.... was so nice from day one ... invited me to a group of people who some#are still active friends and who i all love even if we dont talk any more......#im sitting here crying ugly at the pc thinking of this like im !!!!!!!!!!!#i always talk about fabian hes my guy but roo.... he have done so so much..... i could spend the rest of my life repaying him and i'd still#think it wasnt enough. kindness.... acceptence just.... thought and care does so much....#the boys#roo
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marxy-06 · 4 months
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Favorites Fic Recs 5
Thank you to all the amazing writers <3
Kim Seokjin
Broken happy ever after (@taexual)
Of bears and bonds (@yoonia)
Switched (@i-am-baechu)
Scale (@shina913)
Kyoho (@jeonqkooks)
End of the line (@kookslastbutton)
Min Yoongi
Only for you (@beautifulfuckup99)
Fix you (@casuallyimagining)
The one that I adore (@gimmethatagustd)
Man of the year (@raplinesmoon)
Wishes (@i-am-baechu)
Set me free (@casuallyimagining)
Jung Hoseok
Flower (@readyplayerhobi)
Dinner plans cancelled (@souryoong)
Close call (@xjoonchildx)
Bloom (@7deadlysinsfics)
Kim Namjoon
My girl (@beautifulfuckup99)
Like couples do (@jinkookspencil)
Face sitting (@euphoricfilter)
B.S standards (@katnisspeetaprim)
Pregnancy insecurity (@katnisspeetaprim) NAMJOON
Park Jimin
Love Bug (@httpjeon)
Photograph (@i-am-baechu)
Wanna watch a sex tape (@gimmethatagustd)
Into you (@phenomenalgirl9)
Kim Taehyung
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Something blue (@moni-logues)
A human touch (@snackhobi)
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Loverboy (@kookslastbutton)
Jeon Jungkook
Do it right (@rerefundslocals)
Gold is dull (@kookluvre) -> (hasn't been updated in awhile but def worth the read)
Best friends (@trivia-yandere)
Need you (@archivedkookie)
Across a crowded room (@monimonimoon)
A little reminder (@beautifulfuckup99)
University superstar (@jungkookstatts)
But we loved too young (@jl-micasea-fics)
Skirt chasers (@1kook)
Big enough for both of us (@btsmosphere)
Bodywork (@angeljeonjk97)
Deep in the woods (@angllicjk)
Angel in the marble (@venusjeon)
Was it better (@gyukookswhore)
97 (@rrjkive)
Lemon sherbet (@extravaguk)
The m-word (@hansolmates)
Head over skates (@mercurygguk)
Gun (@kooeater)
Café o lay (@taesspark)
Guilty pleasures (@kookslastbutton)
Purple car (@fruitmins)
Until my last breath (@iamjungkooked)
Don't want your sympathy (@sketchguk)
Couples shoot (@katnisspeetaprim)
What we need (@jungkookstatts)
Praising (@neo-percs)
Show you what devotion is (@euaphoric)
Pluto (@katnisspeetaprim)
Cherry candy (@bonny-kookoo)
OT7
Before I leave you (@hollyhomburg)
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i-drop-level-one-loot · 9 months
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*NSFW* How to train your pet Human (Yandere!Alien X GN!Reader)
CW: Mind break, training, human pet, pet/owner relationship, humiliation, dub-con, non-con, dead dove
Pt 2, pt 3
(Reader) sat quietly and fearfully in a small cage that didn't allow for any wiggle room, their legs falling asleep under them from being in the same position for so long. They didn't remember how they got here, in a cage surrounded by freaks in what seemed to be a street market, only remembering walking home from the convenience store a little past midnight and seeing a white, blinding light before passing out.
Aliens of all shapes stuck their disgusting faces towards the bars of (Reader's) cage, speaking in sounds that didn't sound like speech at all. (Reader) watched as sniffling cages near them were bought one by one, and feared for their future.
After nearly an entire day (Reader) felt their cage lift high above the ground without shaking, and witnessed a tall creature draped with beautiful deep blue robes raise the cage to get a better look at (Reader's) face without needing to bend down. And bending down to the tiny cage must have been impossible without dirtying it's knees, since it seemed over seven feet tall.
It's face face was smooth, with large, opal colored eyes eyes in a hard shelled face. There was no nose, or lips, on its black and purple iridescent face. It spoke in a human like voice, in an earth language (Reader) couldn't understand.
"What?" Their voice was dry from dehydration.
"I asked what language you speak."
The voice was higher than expected, and melodic, yet still masculine. He lowered the cage to his hip, but didn't set (Reader) down, exchanging chatter with the seller and handing over a bag full of, what (Reader) assumed to be, some type of currency.
(Reader) was carried back to what looked like to be a large ship, dying of anxiety over what was going to become of them. They passed through multiple corridors and gateways, before entering a room decorated with glass cases and blue drapery the same color as the alien's cloak. He placed the cage on the floor and unlatched it, stepping back to give (Reader) space.
They tried to stand, but their legs were dead from the hours they spent bent doubled over. They cried in pain as the feeling began to slowly tingle down their thighs to their feet.
"What is wrong, human?"
(Reader) wiped away the snot and tears rolling down their chin. "My-My legs are numb from sitting in the cage. It hurts."
The one who bought (Reader) reached under their arm pits, raising them up and sitting them on a very high desk. He reached with what looked like scaled hands and began to massage their legs. (Reader) whined in discomfort, both at the pain and the uncomfortable situation, fearful to push the much taller creature away. Now that they were out of the cage, the alien was much taller and imposing, visibly sleek bodied under the fabric, but not scrawny, (Reader) could feel his strength.
"What is your name, human?"
"...(Reader)."
"(Reader)." He practiced saying their name, still massaging their legs. "I am Kirtch."
(Reader) nervously fiddled with the bottom of their shirt. "Why am I here?"
Kirtch pried his eyes away from their legs, looking down into (Reader's) scared face. "This will be your new home."
"What?" (Reader's) heart dropped into their stomach.
"I promise your safety, (Reader). I will do my best to provide you with comfort." Kirtch picked (Reader) up again, but didn't set them down, carrying them around the room giving them a little tour. The room was actually three, entering from the main hall into a study first, with another door leading to a bedroom, a small restroom hidden within that.
"I didn't expect to be bringing you home, so I don't have any human furniture yet. Although I've never owned a human before there is no need for you to fret, I have done extensive research, and I am confident as a first time owner."
(Reader) only just began to fully realize what was happening to them. "I.. I want to go home." The back of their throat got tight, choking back a sob painfully. Their nose began to tingle and they knew they wouldn't be able to hold back their tears for long.
Kirtch rubbed their back in what was supposed to be a comforting manor, but his hands were harder than a humans, and it was rough against their skin. "You'll feel better once your adjustment period is over. I shall bring you something to eat. It won't be a cultural dish from your planet, but it will be made of human safe ingredients."
(Reader) stretched their legs while trying to smile through their tears. 'Like hell. I'd rather die.'
They watched as he left the room, wondering how far away the kitchen or dining area was from the room they were in. (Reader) waited for a few minutes after Kirtch left before shakily rushing towards the door. But the door had no handles or knobs, it was a flat wall with barley any indication that there was an opening at all. They touched all over the spot (Reader) had seen the tall man had placed his hand, but nothing happened.
"no no nO NO!" They slapped the "door" in frustration. Time for plan B. (Reader) pressed their back against the wall, as flat as they could muster, just trying to make sure they wouldn't be visible in Kirtch's peripherals. The fear was destroying the lining of (Reader's) stomach, gurgling uncomfortably.
A whirring noise activated as Kirtch entered the room, holding a tray in his hands. It was quick, but (Reader) snuck right behind Kirtch and out the room without him noticing, right before the automatic door slid shut. The walls of the hallway were very tall and slightly rounded, made out of a blue metal. (Reader) began running in the direction they remembered entering from. They knew the probability that they were still on land was slim, but dying was better than being kept a prisoner without any hope of returning home.
(Reader) made it down only one hallway before strong hands effortlessly lifted them under their armpits. They kicked while crying, not seemingly phasing Kirtch in the slightest. He brought them back to his room, and his lack of anger hurt (Reader's) pride; it was good that he wasn't furious, threatening to hurt them, but his calmness reinforced the futility of (Reader's) escape attempt.
"That was my fault. I read that humans were prone to escaping, especially in the adjustment period. I should have expected this." He sat down, a deep imitation of a sigh rumbling through his hard chest. Kirtch sat down in his large chair in front of his desk, and laid (Reader) across his knees as their face fell. "Knowing this is my fault brings me no joy for what I need to do, however the manual did say that humans will test authority and will continue to do so if not punished."
(Reader) protested while squirming, incapable of breaking free as Kirtch slid their pants down to their thighs, exposing their bare bottom. His shelled hand was cold against their skin. (Reader) clenched to prepare themselves for contact, but it was useless against the inhuman slap, his hard flesh resulting in a sharp pain like they had been struck with a paddle instead of a hand. They yelped, squeezing their thighs together as the tears began to form again.
Another slap connected with their ass painfully, stinging as their tender rear began to bruise.
"I'm so-sorry!" (Reader) blubbered, another whack rippling their buttocks aggressively.
"Humans may appear remorseful, however this is self defense tactic to cease the pain they are experiencing. Unless one establishes themselves as the dominant force, they will continue to act out."
"No! I really am sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!" Their voice cracked as they screamed out the apology between sobs and slaps.
Kirtch smiled, rubbing the skin he had split open, stinging the fresh cuts. "I shall finish with your punishment for now. I do not wish to spoil you, but I would be lying if I didn't have a soft spot for you, my cute little pet. The next time this happens I will not be so gentle.."
(Reader) widened their eyes in horror. That was gentle?!
"Would you rather spend your first night in my bed, or shall I prepare a nest on the floor for you? I will buy a suitable human bed for you tomorrow, of course, but until then..?"
"The floor." (Reader) replied a little too quickly.
A "nest" of bedding was constructed, and (Reader) did find it quite comfortable, but refused to sleep, fearful that at any moment they would be in danger. They rested for what only felt like three or fours hours, max, before Kirtch rose from his bed and begun his day. His routine was uncannily similar to a human's, rising and dressing in his robe, stretching and leaving to five something to eat. It only enraged (Reader) further at their inhumane treatment.
"I am not a dog." They whispered to themselves, as though fearful they would forget.
The ship must have been still docked at the trader's colony, because throughout the day gifts for (Reader) were brought into Kirtch's room and office. With each piece of "human" furniture Kirtch would happily rub (Reader's) head, petting them like an animal and waiting for them to show some kind of sign that they enjoyed their new toys. But (Reader) showed no such sign, feeling humiliated as they were treated like a cat instead of an adult human. But they didn't snack away Kirtch's hand, or tell him off, scared of being punished again, so they simply sulked, trying to hide from his gaze so they could disassociate without interruption.
His new pet's attitude was making Kirtch worried. He flipped through the human owning handbook, wondering what he could be doing wrong. They seemed so stressed, and Kirtch felt it was far worse than the normal stress of a new environment. Then Kirtch flipped to an interesting chapter on chemical responses. "If your human has pent up frustrations or stress, a fun way to help them relieve themselves is the manual release of the chemical oxytocin..."
(Reader) hid under a box, hating the irony of their hiding place while they tried to formulate a new escape plan, now knowing that they were in fact still connected to some type of land. Not every alien could be a cruel monster, there had to be some kind of interplanetary animal rights group or space hippies. The box was lifted and removed from (Reader) sat to the side as Kirtch smiled down on them.
"I'm sorry I haven't been playing with you, pet. I've been so busy trying to make this room more comfortable for you that I have been unintentionally neglecting you." He scooped (Reader) up into his arms, and brought them over to his desk, which he had already cleared off. (Reader) nervously glanced around, wondering what was going to happen to them. "But I wanted to help you become acclimated to your new home. And you still feel more comfortable the sooner we ease your stress." He pulled out a box and a couple of strange bottles with syringes.
(Reader) scrambled to get away, but was quickly held down by one hand, being shushed in what was supposed to be a calming manner. One of the strange bottles filled the syringe, making (Reader) thrash harder. Kirtch pulled down their pants, revealing their still sore ass cheeks, and stuck in the needle, injecting them with the unknown liquid. (Reader) cried out as a warm sensation rippled through their body, turning their limbs to jello and making it difficult to breathe.
Kirtch released them, seeing that they could no longer run from him. (Reader) growled, pissed off that their body wouldn't act as they wanted it to. "What did you do to me?!" Their body was rapidly heating, becoming to feverish to hold up.
"If your human has pent up frustrations or stress, a fun way to help them relieve themselves is the manual release of the chemical oxytocin..." Kirtch opened the box next, revealing a strange rubber looking object shaped like a cup on the outside with polyps inside. "I have always wanted a pet human, (Reader), so I was very excited to see you for sale. You are the most attractive like human I've ever seen, and I promise to give you a long, happy life."
The device was placed on (Reader's) crotch, attaching itself to their pubic area without needing to be held on. It came to life, each nub moving on it's own as it rubbed (Reader's) growing erection. The contraption grew against (Reader's) body, enlarging to fill every hole and crevice, pulsating and writhing like a living creature.
"No! It feels gross! Take it off!" (Reader) screamed in fear, watching as their hips bucked against their will and their nipples hardened through their shirt. Tears over how unfair everything was pricked at their eyes. Kirtch lifted (Reader) into the sitting position, rubbing their back soothingly while giving them a better view of the throbbing toy violating them.
"Shh. There's a good pet.." His words felt like taunts to (Reader) as they kept approaching their orgasm.
(Reader's) body was shaking as it begged for release, but (Reader) held strong, trying to rob Kirtch of the satisfaction of seeing them crumble. Another bottle was opened, this one however was poured down (Reader's) throat before they had a chance to cognitively force themselves to close their mouth. The warm liquid was tasteless and odorless, but the effect was like an immediate five shots of vodka, clearing (Reader's) sinuses and plunging them into a drunken stupor.
"What..? What..?" (Reader) couldn't even form their sentence correctly. Their unfocused eyes drifted around confusedly before snapping down to their lower regions, feeling their stomach muscles clench in anticipation.
Kirtch continued to rub their head and chest, gently rubbing their head like a good puppy while he rolled their nipple between his harsh fingers. "Whose my good little pet?"
"Ahh! No.. I'm not a pet.." (Reader's) whimpering voice mewled pathetically, their quivering lips complimenting their sweaty visage. The tingling feeling that had been building was ready to overflow.
"Don't you want to cum, little pet? It's okay. I'll make sure to always keep you happy like this, all you have to do is ask nicely." Kirtch leaned in, amused by his human's drenched thighs soaking his desk, shaking from being denied their orgasm. Behind (Reader's) back, Kirtch held a remote. They would not achieve relief until they played the part of a good little pet.
Drool dripped down (Reader's) chin, unnoticed by their hazy mind. "I-I want to cum."
"What was that?"
"Please let me cum?" They moaned, trying to press themselves deeper into the toy.
A button was pressed outside of (Reader's) peripherals.
Their body rocked violently as (Reader) was finally allowed to achieve their climax. Kirtch continued to stroke their head affectionately, whispering words of praise to his little human as liquid dripped from between the toy and their wet holes.
Kirtch kissed the top of their damp head, still smiling over how adorable (Reader) was. Although he hoped his pet would come to love him and enjoy his company on their own, he was secretly excited to use this toy on his little pet again. He peeled the appliance off, causing (Reader) to twitch sensitively in Kirtch's arms. Their eyes were unfocused and glazed, but Kirtch found that it wasn't a bad look on (Reader).
"Why don't you lay down for a nap, little pet. We'll play some more when you wake up."
6K notes · View notes
starlightervarda · 5 months
Text
I can't sleep so Star Trek TOS/SNW dashboard simulator
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🪆 chekovsgunman Follow
to this day I can't understand why they're called the Three Musketeers if there's FOUR of them? Did Dumas just forget his own main character???
🪴 plantdad Follow
You've got to be kidding me
🪆 chekovsgunman Follow
I know right? A mistake like this would never happen in Russian literature!
5,324 notes
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🩺 therealmccoy Follow
After months of taking care of everyone else on this giant tin can I really earned this shore leave. Now I get to drink, relax, flirt with some lovely ladies and sleep until noon 😎 Just what the the doctor ordered!
🩺 therealmccoy Follow
Update: A fucking purple tree ate five crewmen. Again.
955 notes
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🖖 iamspock Follow
Despite being among humans for close to a decade, I still find their tendency to overcomplicate and avoid aspects of social situations to be confusing at best and infuriating at worst. So much time is wasted on tedious matters such as who gets to 'make the first move' or 'not come off too strong'.
For example, everyone aboard my vessel is keenly aware of Lt. Uhura and Engineer Scott's 'budding romance'. But their need to extend their oddly avoidant courtship ritual, rather than outright state their interest in one another, is pointless, as well as frustrating to witness.
Why do they do this? Why not 'get it over with', as they say?
I encourage answers from all cultures, human or otherwise.
💅 janicethemenace Follow
I'm sorry Scotty and Nyota are WHAT
💉 xtinechapel Follow
DELETE THIS
💖 ofmanytongues Follow
SPOCK NOOO HE DOESN'T THINK OF ME LIKE THAT 😭
🔧 scott-free Follow
But I do! I thought you knew and were just being nice about it!
💖 ofmanytongues Follow
DMing you rn 😳
🖖 iamspock Follow
You're welcome.
24,103 notes
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🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow
PSA: If you visit Antares VII, stay clear of any yellow plants, their pollen can have some...inconvenient effects on the biology of humanoid peoples.
My XO and I suffered through troubling symptoms until it was almost too late. Thankfully, we figured out a cure in time.
🪴 plantdad Follow
I can only find info on the symptoms. What was the cure? 👀
🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow
Do I really have to say it?
6,322 notes
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💊 mmmbenga Follow
The galaxy if Klingons didn't exist
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⚔️ glorytotheempire Follow
Wow. Humans are openly advocating for our disappearance yet Klingons are the bad guys? I thought your federation stood for peace.
💊 mmmbenga Follow
Cry harder you genocidal wrinkly-faced bitch I hope your planet gets sucked into a black hole
#If you think a joke is on par with what they do then book an MRI because you might have brain damage #fuck Klingons and anyone that sympathizes with them
35,007 notes
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😎 ortegaaaas Follow
So I can either skim through this asteroid belt on Warp 2 for 3 hrs or on Warp 5 for 15 mins
🚀 mitchiemitch Follow
Erica no! That's not how navigation works!
😎 ortegaaaas Follow
FLOOR IT???
🚀 mitchiemitch Follow
ERICA NO
😎 ortegaaaas Follow
HOW ABOUT WARP 7 FOR 15 SECONDS?
💖 ofmanytongues Follow
ERICA YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH THE SHIP
😎 ortegaaaas Follow
I AM GOING TO HARNESS LIGHT-SPEED TO ZIGZAG THROUGH THE VOID
🚀 mitchiemitch
ERICA P L E A S E
112,517 notes
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🐴 sirsilverfox Follow
I know some species are very private, but you'd think they'd share the important stuff, esp when we should trust each other by now.
How are we supposed to enjoy my weekly dinners if you all don't tell me what to watch out for :/ This is the third time this happens to the same person and I had to get the answer why from our CMO
💫 numerouna Follow
Wait what did I miss while I was gone
🐴 sirsilverfox Follow
Spock got wasted on my chocolate fudge cake and hit his head on the counter ://///
2,904 notes
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neil-gaiman · 10 months
Note
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hey mr gaiman. i saw that this post got revisited and wanted to address it.
i submitted this ask over a year ago on my old account and it was one of the stupidest things i ever did. it was my first tumblr account. id only been really online for a few weeks. i was 13. i was just coming back to school after a global pandemic.
ive been a fan of good omens for years and a fan of yours for longer. i was brought up reading odd and the frost giants and fortunately the milk, and as i got older i fell in love with your norse mythology book, good omens, snow glass apples, the sleeper and the spindle, and more.
i was excited to see one of my favorite authors on tumblr and tried to come up with the most bold and interesting ask i could think of.
i was rude and misinformed and it was a stupid choice of me to send it in with no thought.
but i got feedback. some in the form of kind suggestions. quite a few in the form of death threats and people telling me to kill myself.
while those specific messages were rude and hateful, the point got across. i educated myself to the best of my abilities, and eventually came back online.
not only did i misuse the term queerbaiting but i also implied that you were not an amazing supporter of the queer community. that’s absolutely incorrect. you’ve done so much for us with activism, representation, and overall kindness.
i wanted to address this ask that got so much attention because despite moving accounts i still feel guilt and shame every time i see it, or even when i interact with any of your posts at all. i need to actually address it.
also, i wanted a proper apology to be made. by no means am i now a saint. but im trying to be more thoughtful about thinking before i speak.
whether or not you decide to make a public response to this, i think ill find some peace knowing you’ve received this. ive needed closure on this for a long time.
im overjoyed and thrilled that season two is so close. thank you for tolerating the dumb questions of pretentious kids and thank you for helping to create a world where we can grow to be better than we were.
First of all, and most importantly, I'm really sorry that people were mean to you. That's awful. And nobody should ever have to deal with death threats or online threats and attacks, let alone a thirteen year old.
And secondly, you do not owe me an apology. I figure I have a Tumblr account, people ask things. Mostly they'll get nice replies, occasionally (normally when I'm being asked the same thing over and over) the replies will be terser. There has to be a certain amount of rough and tumble though, and occasionally I'll grab an ask that represents all of the asks I've had on that subject, and try and reply to all of them. That's what happened to you. I was getting tired of being accused of Queerbaiting for the occasional answer about a Season that was not yet released and about which nobody knew anything. And I needed to tell everyone who was doing this that they had to stop now. You had the misfortune to be the representative of all of the other people.
If you are not making mistakes you are not human and you are not learning anything.
(I wish there was tone of voice on the internet.)
And I think you are growing and learning and will make a fantastic adult.
I really hope you enjoy Season 2 when it drops.
3K notes · View notes
niqhtlord01 · 2 months
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Humans are weird: Best form of Revenge
Alien: What is the best way to get back at someone you despise?
Human: Why are you asking me?
Alien: Because humans are renowned for their ability to plan elaborate revenge schemes against those who have slighted them.
Human: On behalf of the human race I am offended by that.
Alien: I have witnessed you slowly drive your co-worker insane by moving everything in their office one inch to the left every day for 3 months.
Human: To be fair I only kept doing that because they refused to pay me back my $1.50 I loaned them for lunch.
Alien: *Stares at human with mocking eyebrows
Human: Fine, I see your point.
Human: Alright, here is what you do….
Alien: Wait, do you not wish to know why I want revenge?
Human: No.
Alien: Really?
Human: Yes.
Alien: Oh….okay.
Alien: So what should I do?
Human: Ignore them.
Alien: What?
Human: Ignore them, diminish them; make them feel beneath your notice.
Alien: That seems rather childish for an elaborate revenge plot.
Human: That is because I haven’t expanded it.
Human: If they come to you to gloat about something they did, anything, ask them who they are.
Human: When they explain who they are and how you should know them, still act like you have no idea who they are.
Human: If they continue to persist about how you should know them simply, and this is important, shrug and say “If you say so”, and then leave.
Alien: How is this revenge?
Human: Because in their eyes now they will think that they need to prove themselves somehow for you to notice them.
Human: Like a kid trying to win his drunken father’s affection.
Alien: That’s rather dark.
Human: So is revenge; keep up.
Human: Now they will continue to come back to you day after day trying to win your notice and you will continue to dismiss them or give them the bare minimum attention.
Human: If you want to get further under their skin start talking up someone else in their presence; someone who you would consider more of a rival then they are.
Alien: How would that work?
Human: Like this. *In mocking alien voice “Yes, yes, I’m sure you’ve done rather well for yourself; but not as much as Thomson on the 3rd floor. That bastard has been upselling me all week and I’m convinced he’s the one stealing my parking space.”
Alien: What good will that does to bring in someone else?
Human: By actually acknowledging someone who your target thinks is beneath them, they will further become enraged as you’ve just reinforced how little they appear on your radar.
Alien: And that works?
Human: Indeed.
Human: You need to treat your displeasure towards someone as gift to them, for you have deemed their existence worthy of acknowledgement.
Alien: Alright, I guess I could give it a shot. ------------------------------
*Two Months later
Human: So how’s the revenge going?
Alien: I’m not sure.
Human: What do you mean you’re not sure?
Alien: I mean they came up to me today and offered to have sex with me.
Human: Oh….in that case they must be very desperate for you to notice them.
Alien: What should I do?
Human: If you want to keep up with the revenge have sex with them, then afterwards don’t speak with them.
Human: If they come up to you and demand an explanation say that the sex was so bad you wanted to forget that moment by never speaking with them again.
Alien: ……………….
Alien: Who broke you to make you so devious?
Human: *Grins as they sip their drink
Human: I’m human; we were made broken.
862 notes · View notes
sunderwight · 20 days
Text
SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a dragon.
It's not so bad, at first. He's an extremely magical sort of dragon so he can easily take on a humanoid shape, and he has dominion over an entire mountain, with a magical gate that leads to his palace. Said palace has a fully stocked treasury, a library, garden, etc, with the only real downsides being that the place is kind of huge and very difficult for a neet with limited housekeeping or landscaping skills to keep up with. The original dragon had enslaved a bunch of fairy spirits to do it for him, but since Shen Yuan has moral objections to that, he'd let them all go and they'd run off before he could even think to offer to hire any of them as paid employees instead. Not that he can blame them for being in a hurry to get gone.
He does his best, and generally enjoys being a dragon lazing on his mountain, or wandering the beauty of his palace and investigating the books and scrolls kept there. He doesn't actually seem to need to eat or drink, so that's not really an issue, and nobody looks keen to bother him. But after a few months the dust starts to really pile up, and trying to figure out how to do his own laundry without modern equipment leads to several disasters, and even though he doesn't need to eat he's starting to think it would be quite nice to have a fancy sit-down dinner and enjoy it for its own sake anyway. He has an enchanted larder but his food prep skills aren't up to much.
So, Shen Yuan ventures away from his mountain. He keeps to his human disguise when he's not traveling, and at first tries to hire on some help from a nearby city. But when he explains that he lives on the mountain, he realizes the difficulty, because everyone in the area knows that only the dragon lives there. So they all think he's either a liar or a fraud, or some servant of a nefarious supernatural creature angling to trick and possibly devour them.
Shen Yuan tries approaching another town in his dragon form, to see if anyone will actually deal with him if he's being upfront and honest about the situation, but the townspeople just panic. He returns to his mountain to rethink his strategies, and in the meanwhile the alarmed locals hire a swordsman to go after him. The guy gives him a few very painful cuts before Shen Yuan mostly-accidentally sends him careening into a boulder. One broken arm later the swordsman is gently persuaded that the pay he was offered isn't worth the effort on this job, and leaves.
Discouraged, Shen Yuan decides he's gonna give this one last try. He picks the second closest city, flies up, and is like yes hello, yes I am indeed a dragon, no I'm not trying to burn down your walls, yes it would be excellent if you stopped shooting arrows at me, look they don't even get past the scales? It's kind of silly? Okay, yes, thank you very much. Good. Now, the thing is, I'm looking for some people. I want to take them back to my mountain with me, to my incredibly nice palace, and -- what was that? A princess? No no I don't want a princess, what would I even do with one? If anything I'm looking for the complete opposite of a princess!
Anyway, the locals take this to mean that the dragon is demanding a sacrifice in the form of a pretty boy of no particular pedigree, and Shen Yuan takes this to mean that he's finally made his case clear and they're going to dig up someone who is willing to overlook his being a dragon in exchange for free room and board and fair wages out of his massive treasury.
SY's a bit disheartened when the entire city could only apparently turn up one such person -- an underfed teenage boy who looks at Shen Yuan like, despite the situation, he is still expecting to be eaten at any moment. Poor thing! But at least having one servant means he can potentially get more, especially if it all goes well. The lad can tell others that working for a dragon isn't so bad! Well, provided that he doesn't give up in alarm at the state of the mountain palace.
For his part, Luo Binghe at first thinks he's definitely going to get eaten, and then that this dragon is weirdly nice about planning to eat him, and then that maybe the dragon has other (even less savory!) plans for him, until finally he sees the state of the dragon's laundry and the foot-thick layer of dust in the corners, and gets completely distracted. Mortal terror forgotten, those floors should not be that filthy, Lord Dragon respectfully that isn't how anyone should prepare rice either, but oh Binghe has never seen a kitchen so nice before in his life...!
Anyway, needless to say, it works out just fine.
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jeonggukieverse · 7 months
Note
So I saw you were taking requests, how about writing on this idea that Jungkook is dating someone (they have been dating for a long time) who would always smile and say it's okay whenever Jk misses out on important things of y/n's life, and the boys would constantly hint that jk should give y/n more time. Jk gets super sad once she realises that he might be not making y/n happy anymore. A fluffy ending please. 💓 I hope this isn't too much ...
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Mind & Music
Pairing: Composer Jungkook x Academic Female Reader
Genre: Established relationship, Absolutely Filthy Smut, Fluff, Angsty
Warnings: Unprotected sex (wrap it up babes), mentions impregnation
Word count: 10k+
My first fic in ages! Feels good to be writing again~ This in not proofread because I was to excited to be uploading again hahah.
This request has been in my inbox for ages, thank you for being patient anon. Love ya 
Let me know how you guys like it 
- Ryeon <3
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He isn’t here. You half expected him not to be. 
Still, you found yourself gazing into the audience half expecting to see that specific mop of black hair. Again, disappointment pulls at your heart as you still don’t find it.  
You hear your name being called and it snapped you out of your disheartening thoughts. You stood up and walked over to the podium and began your speech. 
“Thank you all for coming out today. It’s a privilege to be presented with this award. I am honoured to be standing here in front of you as the youngest recipient of the universities achievement of the decade award. Though I would not have been able to do this without the support and guidance of- “ 
You pause for a moment as you saw familiar smiling faces staring back at you in the crowd. Yoongi and Tae beamed at you from the back of the auditorium. Even from so far away, you could still feel the smiles radiating from their faces. You mirrored their expressions and met their proud grins with one of your own as you continued your speech. Having them here almost made all of your butterflies flutter away. Almost. Cause only the presence of one person could have caused them to disappear completely. 
After the ceremony was over, you rushed out to find your friends. You spotted them stood by the food table munching on some snacks. Your eyes locked with Tae’s first as you ran towards both men and rugby tackled them both into a giant bear hug. 
“Y/N-ah! Please, be careful! You could have knocked over my cucumber sandwich” You rolled your eyes at Taehyung ‘smocking tone. 
“Cucumber? That’s a little bland for you Kim Taehyung”
“First of all, don’t use my government name in public and second of all, it’s the best option this place has to offer. I mean, I get it, it’s Yonsei’s international focused program so it’s going to cater to foreigners but babe, you are in Korea! Where are the spices? Where is the flavour? Where is the taste?” He ranted while wiggling the pale looking sandwich in his hand. You giggled but you couldn’t deny he was wrong. 
“Hey! As a foreigner, I do not claim this cuisine” You retorted. 
“If you say so” Tae rolled his eyes. 
You shook your head at him then turned your attention to the quiet figure next to you. 
Yoongi smiled and held his hand towards you. 
“The youngest recipient of the achievement of the decade award, huh? Very impressive” 
Coming from anyone else, that sentence would have come out as painfully sarcastic but you knew coming from yoongi, it was the highest compliment he could have bestowed on a human being. You completely ignored his attempt at a hand shake and pulled him into a tight hug instead that he gladly accepted. 
Yoongi was the first friend you had made in Korea. You had met on a language exchange app. He was the only guy you had spoken to that hadn’t asked to go ‘eat ramen’ with you, go ‘see his cat’ or ask you to join a cult. But still you carried pepper spray in your bag when you agreed to meet him at the coffee shop because stranger danger is still a thing. It turns out you didn’t need it cause Yoongi was the sweetest guy you had ever met. Blunt as hell but lovely still. You recalled fondly that upon your first meeting that he had told you that your Korean pronunciation was like an elementary school kid. Did it sting? Absolutely. Was it the last time he would say something like that? Absolutely not. But he made sure you improved and got better. He decided midway through your friendship that learning English was ‘too troublesome’ for him. He had made up his mind that listening to you speak English occasionally was the best way to learn…Sure yoongs. 
It was actually Yoongi that introduced you to your boyfriend. Speaking of 
“So where is he?” 
Yoongi’s smile dropped slightly as he absorbed your change in mood. 
“He’s in the studio with Joon. They’re still working on finalising the soundtrack.” 
You forced a smile on your face, sensing the awkwardness in his voice. 
“Ah, its okay! He’s working, I’m happy he at least has a good excuse! If he was at home playing overwatch or something, I would have been super mad” you said hoping your joking tone would mask your disappointment. 
Taehyung chuckled but you know Yoongi could read you like a book. He knew how you really felt. 
“Let’s go! The rest of the guys said they’d be at the bar, right? I want to show them how cute I look in all my graduation gear. Seokjin is going to die of jealousy cause there is no way in hell he looked this good on his graduation” 
“He’s gonna murder you for even insinuating that” Tae gasped in feigned shock. 
“I’d like to see him try” you sang as you skipped in the middle of the two men. You hooked both of your arms in theirs and pulled them towards the exit. 
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“There she is!” 
This was the first thing you heard before you were met with a flurry of applause and cheers as you stepped into the bar. 
You saw the gang sat at your regular booths now decorated with pink and white balloons and confetti. The table adorned with gifts and ‘congratulations banners’. Jimin, Seokjin, Hobi and Jennie stood there holding bottles of champaign. You felt your eyes start to well up, completely touched by the kind gesture. 
“Aww you guys” you spoke, voice wavering. 
“Ha! Pay up Seokjin, I told you Y/N would start crying before she even sat down! Thanks Y/N, you just won me 50000 won” Jennie exclaimed.
“No! Technically, she hasn’t cried! No tears have fallen from her eyes. C’mon Y/N keep it together” Jin begged.
“Sorry Jin, I gotta get my girl her money” You replied, blinking hard so the tears would run down your cheeks.
The group erupted in laughter as Soekjin took out his wallet. 
“That’s enough you two. Tonight, is about Y/N. Congratulations sweetheart.” Jimin said as he pulled you into a hug. You accepted his embrace but you found yourself looking over his shoulder to see if your boyfriend was amongst the crowd. He wasn’t. 
“Yeah, it’s about me! And my goal is to be as drunk as possible by the end of the night!” you proclaimed earning you more cheers from the group. Hopefully if you’re drunk, this feeling of disappointment will eventually go away. 
And it does. After 4 shots of soju, 2 vodka lemonades and a weird cocktail concoction Jimin force fed you, you were feeling better than ever. You were on the dance floor with Jennie having the time of your life. That was until you felt arms wrap around your waist. 
Oh hell no. 
You spun yourself around ready to fight whoever in the hell thought they could touch you unprovoked. Before you could administer your first blow, you were met with a pair of beautifully familiar brown eyes. 
There he was. Jeon Jungkook. 
Your fighting stance shifted as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck to envelop him in a warm hold. You inhaled his scent as he began to lovingly plant soft kisses in the crook of your neck. You felt a familiar fire start to burn at the pit of your stomach. His innocent gesture in your drunken state was igniting a reaction in you that you were eager to explore. 
“I’m sorry baby” he whispered in your ear. 
And just like that, the feeling was gone. At those three words your vagina dried up quicker than the Sahara Desert. Cause as quickly as you had forgotten, you were reminded once again that he had let you down again. But could you be mad? He was working. This had been his dream since he was a little kid and they were so close to finalising this project, they just needed to finish to complete some final composition. Could you be mad at him? You decide once again, that you couldn’t. Once again, you put his needs before yours. You pulled away from his shoulder and met his face. You plastered a fake smile on and put on another show. 
“Baby, don’t be silly! Don’t worry about it, you’re here now, that’s all that matters.” 
“Thank you, baby. I’ll make it up to you” 
“I know you will” 
And he did. 
The next day, Jungkook took you out to a beautiful dinner to celebrate your achievement. You loved him and you appreciated the gesture, you always did. But you couldn’t help still feeling hurt. 
You supported Jungkook, you always had and you always would. 
It’s funny to think about how devoted you were to him considering how rocky your fist interaction was.
Jungkook was Yoongi’s roommate. You and yoongi had been friends now for about four months before he finally decided to invite you over to his apartment. You had to say, this made you very nervous because Yoongi had always been such a private guy. You knew enough about him to say that you were friends but he always kept himself to himself. This was a part of him that was refreshing to you, really. He was excellent at establishing boundaries. You’ve never had a friend like that before. He was very mature but also very kind and very sweet. So, when he invited you over to game night with his friends you were ecstatic. It’s finally felt like he let you in and that you became real friends. 
And as excited as you were, you were equally nervous. Yoongi had told you bits and pieces about his friends but he assured you they were all really nice. 
You were still on edge but you assured yourself that you were a pleasant person! You had come out of your shell so much in the last couple of months. Your introverted personality had been spun on its head and you were now someone completely different. The constant support from Yoongi and your advancements in your career had made you feel absolutely unstoppable. 
And isn’t it amazing? How months of character development can be wiped away in 2 seconds. 
As soon as you walked into Yoongi’s apartment, you wished you could walk right back out because the second your eyes met with Jeon Jungkook it was very apparent, he did not like you. Like, at all. 
The boy, who had previously been laughing and talking to his friend, made eye contact with you and completely shut down. The smile fell from his face and his body suddenly became stiff and rigid. He looked at you for a millisecond before tearing away eye contact completely. 
You tried to ignore him. You really did because the rest of Yoongi’s friends were so cool. They made you feel welcome and you felt almost at ease. But still, your consciousness couldn’t help but wonder over to the pale, inked up boy stood in the kitchen dressed in an oversized t-shirt and ripped black denim. 
As much as you tried to ignore it, his coldness didn’t alleviate through the night as you’d hoped. In fact, not only did it not get better; it got worse as the night went on. As everyone kept drinking more and more you felt yourself become a little bolder. What was this guys problem? You haven’t done anything to him, he had no reason to be this hostile to you.
You raised this with Namjoon, another one of Yoongi’s roommates, who assured you that Jungkook was always a little weary of strangers. He was a shy person that had great difficulty adjusting to new people. His advice was to give him time to warm up to you and when you felt ready, try and start a casual conversation. 
But it wasn’t as if you hadn’t tried that. You’d made several attempts through the night to try and speak to him to at least extend the olive branch but each time he refused running away from you as if you had some kind of disease. You were sick of it.
You saw him alone on the balcony a few hours later and realised that this was your chance. You marched up to the doors and slipped out to give this guy a piece of your mind. Hearing the noise behind him Jungkook turned his head to be met with you. Again, panic started to run through his body as he tried to make an escape around you but you would not let him. 
“What is your problem?! What did I do to you why are you so weird towards me? I know Yoongi and Namjoon said that you are very selective with your friends and that’s cool but I don’t know what I did to make you dislike me so much. Fucking hell, we just met today! What could I possibly have done that hurt your feelings so much?!” You yelled at him. Your words slightly slurred. Liquid courage was really on your side tonight cause there was no way in hell sober Y/N could yell at him like this. Especially hear on the balcony, his beautiful face illuminated by the moonlight. And the way the evening breeze ruffled through his dark locks made him look like an actual prince.  
“Woah, where did you get the impression that I didn’t like you?”
Huh?! 
His almost idiotic question quickly snapped you out of your thoughts. Was he being serious right now? Or is he just making fun of you?
“Are you kidding me? You haven’t looked at me the entire night, you haven’t introduced yourself and every time I come over to you to try and get some kind of conversation going you run off. Now tell me why are you doing all of that and not speaking to me like a normal human being !?”
“Because I think you’re pretty! And I’m intimidated by you!”
Eh? 
You remained silent for what felt like forever. Did he really just say that or did you just imagine it? No, there is no way he woul- 
“Jesus Christ, say something! Anything!” He huffed. Now putting the half empty beer bottle to his lips to stop his mouth from humiliating him even further. 
Well, Jungkook thought, if he’s going to humiliate himself may as well fully go for it. 
“You think Yoongi hasn’t told us about you? He’s told us how incredible you are. About how you’re a transfer student at the most prestigious college in Korea. About how you’re on track to be the recipient for the ‘biggest brain ever in the whole century award’ or whatever its called. He made you sound so cool; I was banking on you at least being a little bit of an asshole but again, Yoongi’s stories proved us wrong. He told us about how you willing let a random little girl sit next to you for 2 hours at a café because she wanted to practice speaking to you to improve her English. And if im being honest, the more I heard the more I wanted to meet you but when you came in today, looking as fucking beautiful as you do. Which Yoongi coincidentally forgot to mention which is funny cause he mentioned every- fucking -thing else. When you came in…”
He paused and let out a sigh. Breathing for what seemed like the first time since beginning his outburst. 
“…When you came in, I realised how far away from me you were. And I dint have any business even speaking to you. We wouldn’t have anything in common and it would make me realise how inadequate I actually am”.
There was a pause again. Slowly, you began to let out a small giggle. Your small giggle quickly erupted into a full-bodied belly laugh. Your stomach began to hurt and your eyes began to water. You had to lean on the balcony door for support as you surely felt you would pass out. 
During your breakdown, Jungkook could only stare at you his head tilted to the side like a confused bunny. His eyes fell to the floor as your laughter pierced him like a knife and was the cherry on top of his mortification. 
“And you think Yoongi hasn’t told me about you, Jeon Jungkook?” You asked as your laughter subsided. 
“Jeon Jungkook, the musical prodigy. The Jeon Jungkook that could play the piano before he could even walk. The Jeon Jungkook that everyone refers to as the Golden Maknae because you’re so good at everything. Your friends are very vocal about not just your talents in your field but also socially. Apparently, you’re the reason you guys even exist as a friend group. You were the one to make friends with each of them and bring them all together. Do you know how impressive that is?! But I’m intimidating cause I’m a little smart and I’m not mean to children? You are something else Jeon Jungkook.” 
Jungkook paused again. A chuckle escaped his mouth as his laughter then began to mimic yours. You joined him again as both of you stood on the balcony laughing with or at each other. You must have looked like maniacs but at the time both of you were too buzzed to care. 
Either way, this broke the ice between both of you as you were both able to bypass each other’s extensive achievements and finally got to know each other as people.
You’ll never forget that night. You and Jungkook sat on that balcony from 10pm to 7am, long after the others had left or gone to bed. Just talking about anything and everything until you both reached a comfortable silence.
And as the sun was rising, welcoming a brand-new morning you nudged Jungkook’s hand. His head lazily turned towards yours and he met you with a dimpled smile. 
“For what it’s worth” You smiled back. 
“I think you’re pretty and I’m intimidated by you too” 
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That was 5 years ago and you and balcony boy have been inseparable ever since. You had now been there for every single important moment in each other’s life. Well…Almost.
3 years ago, Jungkook and Namjoon got the opportunity to produce a music score for a short film. Despite the films small budget, it managed to exceed all expectations and ended up getting nominated for a golden globe! You were ecstatic and so fucking proud of him. You felt like his talents and hard work were finally getting realised.
Little did you know it would be a bittersweet moment for yours and Jungkook’s relationship. Naturally as more eyes were on the film, more ears were listening to the soundtrack. This had your boyfriend pulled off to here there and everywhere in front of directors and movie studios all interested in investing in the musical duo. And finally they had been hired to compose an entire score to a new movie for a huge studio! This movie in particular, Jungkook had begged and pleaded for. He said the scrip and film premise really spoke to him and were perfect and he needed to compose this movie. This was such a huge deal for them and again you were over the moon. But there were downsides. During the first year after their debut you saw Jungkook 10 times that whole year. You spoke almost every day but almost every conversation ended in an argument. It was either and argument about you feeling neglected or him not feeling supported and it sucked. It really took a toll on both of you. 
The second year was much better. This time for a bit more of a selfish reason. The film studio had its own recording studio in Seoul only a 20-minute walk from yours and Jungkook’s apartment! He was finally able to be home more and you could actually spend time together. And so you did. 
Honestly, the first 6 months Jungkook was back home all you guys did was fuck. It was constant and almost none stop. You fucked in every room of the house at all hours of the day. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other. 
There was a day you both decided to take a break from having sex and just play some video games together. It took you both all of 5 minutes before sonic was long forgotten about and you were bent over the sofa. 
It was very romantic really. But even that joy was short lived. 
Jungkook prioritised his art. That was one thing you’d always respected and admired about him. Even the way he talked about music that wasn’t his, he painted the emotions of the music into words to explain to you the way a piece made him feel. He could describe to you in detail the way the crescendos bend in the moments before it’s about to fall. About how the vibrations of the violins is the most romantic sound ever to grace the human consciousness. He was an artist through and through. His music was him and he was his music. They were one and could not be separated. But that raised a question for you:
Where did you fit in? 
This is what made the dinner you were on now very melancholic. It was to make up for him missing your award acceptance. 
He was sorry. You knew he was but you couldn’t ignore that this was your forth make up dinner this year: First was your birthday, second was your anniversary, third was dinner with your parents (that they had specifically flown out to Korea for) and the forth was the award. The award he knew you were on track to get before he’d even met you. The award you’d poured your heart into getting and the one you’d sacrificed so much for. But he was sorry, right? Plus, he had promised to make it up to you. Next week your professor had invited you to the university to give a special lecture to other projected recipients of the award you’d just achieved. It was a high honour as these students were the best and the brightest students from countries all over the world and of all the recipients to give the lecture, they had requested you! There have been recipients before you that had gone on to win Nobel Peace Prizes but they had specifically requested you. And Jungkook was so proud of you.
“Are you okay, little mouse? You seem a little quiet tonight”. Jungkook asked, genuine concern apparent on his face. 
“I’m just thinking bunny boy.”
“About me?” He winked at you, almost cartoonishly. 
“Bunny boy, how can you cross my mind if you never leave it” you winked back at him with the same playfully cartoonish obnoxiousness. 
“Ooh that’s going on my list” 
For the past 5 years of your relationship Jungkook has been keeping a list of things you say to him that makes him smile. This list has always confused you cause it would always be the silliest stuff. Once, when he was sleeping, you went and snooped through his notes app just to see this list and you couldn’t believe it. You were expecting the most romantic phrases or compliments that fluffed his ego but instead, the top three (out of four thousand!) were:
“I’d fight a microwave for you”
“You smell like home” 
“I think you’re pretty and I’m intimidated by you too” 
You woke him up immediately to ask about it. But his only defence was they were phrases you said that make him smile. You’re understanding of his list was ‘irrelevant’ to him. 
God, you loved him. 
“You’re so silly. But seriously Kookie; don’t worry, I’m good. Plus, you’re the one who’s been talking my ear off all night. I’m surprised you’ve even noticed me being quite” You quipped playfully, taking a sip of your wine. 
“Ooh, someone’s feisty tonight. I forgot what red wine does to you” He quipped back; eyebrows now raised highlighting the metal bar that accented it. 
God, he was cool.
“How could you forget? The first time we met I was wine drunk” 
“Ah yes, how could I forget. You get very mouthy off of red wine. Don’t worry, I know how I can put that mouth to good use” 
“Jeon Jungkook!” You yelled at him in a whisper.  Eyes darting around to see if anyone had heard your boyfriends lewd comment. Luck for you the other couples around you’re were too infatuated with their partners to even notice you guys. 
“Well, while were in pubic, put that mouth to better use and tell me about your day” he said, now leaning back in his chair. 
“Well, my day was pretty calm actually. It makes a change. I was walking Ban and bumped into Holly and Yoongi. We were talking about next week and he asked if he could bring a plus one. Wink, wink” 
“A plus one! Is Yoongi dating?! In the 12 years I’ve known the guy he has never shown romantic interest in anyone. I can’t even imagine his type. Did he give you any information”?! 
“Nah, you know how he is. Yoongi will only let you know what he wants you to know” 
“True. What’s going on next week?” 
You paused for a second and started chuckling. He was kidding. He had to be. 
The smile then fell from your face when he didn’t share in your laughter. 
“Oh my god you’re serious? You forgot about my lecture”?!
He gasped and began coughing as the bite of steak he had just put into his mouth had just gone down the wrong pipe.
“Of course not baby, how could I forget something so important to you” he continued to splutter. 
You stared back at him. The good mood you had felt a moment ago had completely evaporated. You waited for him to gain his composure so he could explain himself cause boy he had some explaining to do. 
“Just for giggles and fun and jokes, what date is your lecture again?” 
“The fifteenth” you said, shortly. 
His face fell and his eyes stayed stuck on his plate.
“Baby…Please don’t hate me. That’s the night we have the final run through of the soundtrack with the director. I can’t miss that…I’m so s- “
“You’re so sorry. Im sure you are.” You stood up. 
You grabbed your purse and you stormed out away from him. You could hear him calling your name but the burn of your throat as you fought back the tears overpowered his calls. 
How could he? No, how could you? How could you ever expect anything different. You will always be second to his first love and that was a pain you had to learn to live with. 
The moment you left the restaurant and the cold air of the night hit your face you decided to just let the tears fall. You sobbed as you walked further and further away from him. 
You heard the rhythmic pounding of laced up docks hitting the pavement behind you. 
“Y/N please I’m sorry. Just let me explain…”
“No! There is nothing you could say that would fix this! I have always been there for you! I have supported you from the very beginning! Every piece of music you have ever played for me I have cherished as if it were my own and you used to support me too! At my first presentation you were there. Cheering at the top of your lungs in a silent room. You used to be my number one cheerleader but now when all I ask of you, is to just show up? You can’t do it. And every chance I give you to fix it. You let me down. Jungkook, I need some time away from you. I’m going to be staying with Yoongi for a few days”. 
You said nothing more. You spun around and walked the 2 minutes to Yoongi’s apartment. And true to your word you stayed with them till the day before your lecture. 
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Despite being a creative Jungkook worked like clockwork. Every single day at the same 3 times a day Jungkook would try to call you. The call was always followed by an ‘I love you’ text but today was different. After the second call of the day the text that followed said:
“I know this is such a fucking reach and such a huge ask but would you mind swinging around our apartment today at around 3? Director Anderson would like to speak to you. I know you probably still need your space so I’ll be in the apartment but I’ll be in the bedroom. I’ll come out only when you’ve left, I promise. Please come” 
He really had some fucking nerve. That ‘please come’ at the end of his text almost sent your blood boiling. 
“You should talk to him,” said a familiar voice. 
Your turned your whole body around on the sofa so Yoongi could see your eyes roll at his suggestion. 
“Yoongs, I feel like it shouldn’t be me your having this conversation with. You should try telling him not to break commitments to people” 
“Oh I have! That’s why I’m telling you, you need to speak to him. I know it’s none of my business but I think you guys just need to talk it out. And even if you don’t have anything to say, at least hear the boy out” he finalised before turning on his heels and heading back into his room. 
That wasn’t the speech you were expecting but it did calm you down enough to re-read Jungkook’s text. Your boiling rage had now been replaced with intrigue and curiosity. The meeting was requested by the director of the film? This was very unusual. You had heard about the director in passing but you had never spoken directly before. But you had decided that you were going to go. You we determined to look the man who practically stole your boyfriend for years in the face and lecture him about respecting his colleagues work/life balance! Plus it will be good practice for your lecture tomorrow. Two birds, one stone. 
It would be an absolute lie to say that you weren’t missing Jungkook. You knew the apartment would smell like him and you hoped you may be able to swipe one of his t-shirts to sleep in before you leave. 
You ubered over to your apartment and stood before the oak front door feeling oddly nervous. To took a shaky breath and inserted the passcode: 5318008 (you and Jungkook were children at heart cause you both laughed for hours after agreeing upon the code).
Upon hearing the beeping of the lock to confirm the door was unlocked you pushed it open. You stepped in, removed your shoes and couldn’t help the solemn smile that crept onto your face. Jungkook’s scent hit you as soon as you entered the room. 
God, you missed him. 
You strode inside and were met with a recognisable figure sitting upright on your sofa. His back stood tall and his hair was a mousy brown colour. It was so bizarre seeing him here. There was an uncanny feeling, seeing this man you knew but had never met sat in your living room.
He must have felt you staring at him because his head soon whipped around. 
“Y/N. So nice to finally meet you.” He stood up and walked over to you shoving his hand out towards you. You shook it hesitantly. His hands were cold and clammy but his eyes were warm. He was tall and chubby but he wasn’t foreboding, in fact he seemed rather friendly Damnit. You wanted him to be an asshole, it would have made telling him what was on your mind so much easier. 
“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr Anderson” you said as coldly as you could muster. 
“Mr Anderson is so formal, just call me James. Although its strange. We’re meeting for the first time but it feels as if I have already met you” His German accent becoming more apparent as he spoke. 
“And why is that?”
“Ah, that is why I asked Jungkook to invite you over. Although it does feel strange extending you an invitation to your home” he chuckled to himself. 
He invited you to sit down on the couch, it was only then that you noticed a laptop connected to your TV. 
“What’s all this?” you asked. Genuinely curious. 
“I have a little something for you to watch. It may make explaining why I asked you hear a little more apparent. Please, have a seat my dear” he guided you to the sofa as you plopped yourself down. Eyes glued to the screen. 
You anticipated what would happen next when a familiar tune began to play. You knew it was Jungkook’s composition as soon as you heard it. Suddenly an animated mouse popped up on the screen. She was in the wings of a stage, obviously nervous but she strolled out into the spotlight in front of a stoic audience of other animals. Just as she was about to speak there was suddenly a loud whooping from the crowd that interrupted the slow score. It was a bunny. A bunny with banners and whistles and confetti and he was cheering for her. The others in the audience told him to be quite but he exclaimed ‘That’s my girlfriend’ still as proud as can be. 
The trailer played on and you slowly started to get it. It was you. This little mouse was you. Tears welled up in your eyes as yours and Jungkook’s entire relationship began to play in front of you. All your highs and your lows. It was beautiful and the accompaniment of his music made the tears pour from your eyes until it was over. 
You turned back to James and attempted to speak but only blubbers could come out. 
“Let me explain Y/N. When Jungkook and Namjoon came out to LA to play some stuff for the studio the only thing the boy would speak about, other than music, was you my dear. Jungkook and I sat for hours speaking about you. He told these elaborate stories about how you met, who you are and about the adventures you got into together. It was indeed very fascinating to me, you almost seemed like a heroine in his very own story. He bragged about your achievements almost as if they were his own. According to him, you are the smartest woman on the planet my dear and he would not be told otherwise. Oh, congratulations on the achievement of the decade award! And the youngest recipient at that? Incredible work my dear, just incredible. Jungkook went into great detail about what a huge deal that was. Needless to say the day after the networking event I went home and began writing the script for ‘Mouse & Bunny – Mind & Music’. I had just never seen someone so passionate about another person. His passion for you far outweighs his passion for his craft, that much was apparent, it was awe inspiring and I had to bring It to the screen. I think that is why Jungkook fought so hard to be the lead composer for the soundtrack. He wanted to intertwine the two loves of his life”. 
You sat there in complete shock for a moment before jumping into James’s arms and engulfed him into a hug. His moustache tickled your shoulder as he chuckled and said he was happy to have cleared things up. As he packed up his laptop, he was asking you so many questions, probably attempting to confirm the validity of Jungkook’s stories: 
“Did you really fight a microwave” 
“I most certainly did” 
“Did you really use protein powder as flour for a cake?” 
“I most certainly did” 
“Did you really not know the earth went around the sun?” 
“That son of a-… no comment” 
He snorted as he packed up the last of his things. You walked him to the door but he turned to you before saying his final goodbyes. 
“Y/N, it seems wrong for me to give the final approval for the soundtrack. I’ve heard it and I know it’s the most beautiful accompaniment to the film but it seems only fitting that the muse gets to give the final say so. Take the afternoon to listen to it and pass your notes to Jungkook. If you like it, I’ll approve it. So there should be no need for my originally planned final listen tomorrow. Jungkook seemed like he wanted to attend something much more important tomorrow anyway” He winked at you as he closed your door. 
You didn’t even wait for the door to fully shut before you were sprinting to your shared bedroom.
The pitter patter of your bare feet slapping the wood floor could almost not be heard over the beating of your heart. You bust open the door to see the love of your live leaning over his piano. 
You must have given him such a fright as his big boba eyes were the first to greet you. 
“Y/N I-“
You crashed your lips onto his, completely cutting him off. 
“I am the stupidest person in the world.” 
Jungkook laughs, standing up beside you. 
“No little mouse, why do you say that” he said with a soft smile while he caressed your tear-stained face. 
“I don’t know why I didn’t just ask! I’m so- “
“Even if you asked, I probably wouldn’t have told you. I wanted things to be a surprise. But baby, first I needed to apologise, like really apologise” 
“You have nothing to be sorry for” 
“Yes, I do. Ever since I met you, you brought light into my world. I wanted to express to you my love in the best way I knew how and this project, to me, was the best way for me to put into the world how I felt about you. But I was selfish, I took my expression of love and put it above all the things I knew you had work so hard to achieve. In a way, I put my love above yours and I will forever be sorry and I can assure you, it won’t happen again. I love you Y/N L/N” 
You reward his confession with another kiss, pulling him into your arms soon after. 
you sighed, almost longingly. “Whatever shall I do with my bunny boy?” 
“Whatever shall I do with my little mouse?” Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear, drawing soothing circles on your hip. 
He gently placed you down against your mattress. You clung to him and giggled  
You stay quiet, appreciating the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. 
God, he smelled good. 
“Okay,” he purrs, caressing your hip as he repositioned himself more securely. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh? A week away? It felt more like a lifetime” You nodded in response. Terrified that if you spoke, your voice would fail you.
Jungkook shifted, the hand that was previously on your hip swiftly fell over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my smart girl?” he hums as his hand slipped between your thighs. “My smart, pretty, intimidating girl?” 
Your eyes flutter closed and you revel in the feeling of him running his fingers over the front of your panties. Your toes curl at the sudden pressure.
“Ah,” you hissed.
“Hmm?” he says, mouthing against the crook of your neck. His mouth feels so warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “My smart girl doesn’t have anything smart to say?” 
“N-No,” you tried to scoff back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands were getting braver now as he slipped his hand beneath your waistband, and touched your wet heat head on. “Baby.”
Jungkook chuckled at your immediate submission for his touch and took the opportunity to connect his mouth back you yours. You whimpered in surprise, legs trembling as he gets to work circling your hardening bud. Your thighs are squirming, clenching around his hand every few moments. 
You bit down a whine. “I was just…” you trailed off as he teased his index and middle fingers against your opening. 
“Just what baby? Just thinking?” he said as he finally pushed himself off of you and propped himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze became a familiar dark. He moved at a godlike speed as he snatched his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs. 
Jungkook pulled away from you and rolled his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins pulling off his shirt. You had to stop yourself from drooling at the sight of him. 
He threw his shirt off to the side of the bed, his sleeve of tattoos that wrapped around his bicep and crawled down his chest were wonderfully free now. “My eyes are up here, little mouse” he said and your eyes immediately shot back up to meet his gaze. He leaned towards you, muscled arms coming to cage you in against the headboard. 
“No one is looking at your eyes bunny boy” you attempted to quip back. Completely failing to mask the tremor in your voice. Jungkook always had a way of making you feel powerless under his gaze when he was on top of you like this. 
His hand grabbed beneath your knee and yanked you unforgivingly until you were slumped down onto your back with a squeak. You settled with his knee pressed directly against your core. Jungkook stayed towering over you. 
He placed his hand gently around the base of your neck as he leaned in to properly grind his thigh into you. “Is that right? No one’s looking at my eyes, huh?” he murmured darkly, thumb pressing a little harder into the side of your neck. You sobbed, soaked panties rubbing roughly against his leg. 
“Are you gonna touch me?” you interrupted, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook pursed his lips together in thought. 
“Hmmm,” he hummed. “Not too sure yet.”
You whined. “Jungkook, please,” you whimpered, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”
Jungkook chuckled, running his hand up your waist and taking your dress with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouthed at your neck. “Cute,” he cooed. “Can’t do it yourself?”
You trembled, chest heaving into him as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gulped. “You just do it better.” Jungkook followed your admission with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”
You mewled in response, determined not to give him the satisfaction of answering his question. Cause you both new the answer was yes. He made you cum so much better than you could.
“Remove your clothes for me...” he whispered gruffly yet sweet as he pulled himself from you. 
You hurriedly removed the rest of your clothes you caught Jungkook’s mouth falling open in awe at the semi-nude sight of you before him. After finally removing your bra and panties, you threw them to the floor with the rest of your clothes, you observed how he licked his lips shamelessly as he took in the view of your beautifully perky nipples that drove him absolutely insane. You looked into his deep eyes, catching your bottom lip in between your teeth and Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from palming his cock over the confinements of his pants – watching you get worked up just for him. 
“Are we that type of couple, Jungkook?” you whispered his name sweetly as you slowly climb on top of him. You straddled him, pushing your breasts flush against his chest.
“Which type are you referring to?” he murmured back as his hand moved back to between your thighs – feeling the damp patch of your essence now overflowing. You felt his cock pulsate in anticipation.
“The ones who have an argument, then have angry make up sex?” you giggled as you began pressing soft, delicate kisses along his neck. Jungkook’s eyes shut tightly as he felt your teeth nip at him – causing a breath of air to leave his lungs while you began sucking on his skin – leaving your mark on him. The next thing you knew, Jungkook pulled your mouth away from his neck and flipped you over. He was now hovering over you and began continuing on you what you had started on him
“Jungkook...” you let his name occupy your mouth and your thoughts as he suckled on your skin – alternating between kissing you, biting you and dragging his teeth further south to your boobs.
“Let us see how much of a good girl you can be for me...” you suddenly felt his breath dangerously close to the mound between your legs, before his hands began kneading and gripping at your ass-cheeks. Jungkook moved his face right into you – just shy of his nose touching your folds from behind as he took in your sweet scent. He wanted to devour you whole – but at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to hear you beg and plead for your own pleasure and release. You trembled at the contact of his index finger running along your slippery lips, feeling it hastily stroke your bud before he pulled it back down again – repeating the same action over and over.
 Jungkook smirked at the noises coming from you; whimpers of frustration, want and need. He knew you were like putty in his hands with the way your lewd wetness heavily coated his finger; and he would have wanted it no other way.
“Please Jungkook...please stop teasing me – I need you so fucking badly I – “you rolled your head to the opposite side – placing your blazing cheek against the pillow in an attempt to extinguish the apparent fire that was burning your entire face. You knew he was making you wait for it – and you both simultaneously loved and hated it in a hundred different ways. 
You breathed a sigh of relief, along with moans of satisfaction as his tongue continued to explore every inch of you. The scandalous sounds from his tongue and his lips filled the room as he continued to consume you. 
“I’m so close Jungkook – fuck...” you moaned a string of further curses as he sped up his movements – his finger now wiggling heavily over your clit as his tongue probed you even deeper than before.
“Are you really?” he hummed, slowing his pace as you whined in response. “Hmm...I can’t have you coming undone on me just yet little mouse...where’s the fun in that? Plus, I had to wait a whole week for you to come back. Do you think I would let you cum so quickly?” he grinned coyly as he moved away from you – licking the remainder of you off his lips as you damn near cried out in anger at being denied your orgasm when it was seconds away.
God, he’s such an asshole. 
“You can cry and whine all you want...but you’re not getting anything unless I think you deserve it; do you understand me, baby?” he cooed with the heaviest form of sarcasm you had ever heard as he began coating his erection with your wetness – giving himself a few strokes as he smirked and watched you squirm in defeat underneath him. You rolled your eyes to the back of your head, before turning onto your stomach as fast as you could to avoid his arrogant gaze. 
As you laid faced away from him, all you could feel was the thick width of his cock resting between your cheeks as Jungkook took it upon himself to slowly grind himself into you – giving him the minimal amount of pleasure and you the maximum amount of excruciating frustration.
“Yes! I understand...please...I’ll do anything, please!” you shamelessly pleaded – hearing the desperation in your own voice as you moved your ass backwards into him. Jungkook chuckled before he began sprinkling light kisses the whole way up your spine – the fleeting feeling of his lips leaving damp patches on your skin being enough to make it feel like he was burning you with desire for more of him.
“Good girl” Jungkook praised you – letting you feel the tip of his cock resting just on top your drenched entrance. And – without warning, he quickly eased himself in as far as he could go; hearing you let out breathy moans and whimpers as he pressed deeper.  
“Louder” he commanded as he leaned back – looking down to view his member leave your tight walls – much to both of your displeasures. “I want the entire world to know who’s fucking your pussy like this right now” he slammed back inside you, feeling your slickness engulf him as your screams filled the room. 
“That’s it Y/N, that’s my good girl” Jungook growled as he began pounding you into you at an unforgiving pace. You cried and sobbed feeling his cock reach deeper inside you with each time his skin smacked against yours. Jungkook relished in the look of your ass every time it bounced off his lower abdomen as he continued pummelling into you mercilessly – when he saw your hand reach back to try and hold his. Knowing that you needed to feel the security of his grasp, Jungkook leaned over your back and laced his fingers with yours – giving you fast, deep strokes of his cock while you felt it slam against your precious nerves inside you. Jungkook knew you were already on the verge of letting go from the way your voice got louder and higher – along with your walls constricting around his member so tightly that he had to almost hold his breath to not finish before you.
“Cum for me – you earned it sweetheart, let go and let me hear your beautiful voice” he cooed into your ear. And, like his words were the only thing that could set you free, you came hard around him while you closed your eyes tight as you felt your orgasm pour out of you. Jungkook coaxed you through your cries of ecstasy as he slowed his thrusts down – still keeping their depth while his groans harmonised with your own voice in the wake of your pleasure. And, just as quickly as it came, your high left your body – leaving you slumped face down into the pillow with no will to do much else other than breathe. You felt Jungkook slowly slide out of you – feeling the emptiness he left behind while he began pulling you up and back into his chest, his hands then roaming over every inch of your skin he could find.
“Did that feel good, baby?” he purred, nibbling on the bottom of your ear and letting you know that he was still standing to attention with the way his member pressed into your ass. You let out an airy chuckle, still not able to maintain a coherent train of thought.
“Mmhm” you hummed, reaching behind you to let your hand rest on the back of his neck, letting your fingers get lost in his hair as Jungkook dotted your neck with kisses once more.
“I can’t get enough of you – no matter how much you give me, no matter how much I take...” he murmured on top of your skin, making you shiver from head to toe and smile from ear to ear.
“What are you waiting for then, bunny boy?” you replied, turning around to him and coming face to face with his dark hooded eyes. “I want you to take more...take me, Jungkook” you mewled as Jungkook’s hands began caressing all his favourite parts of you – your hips and the tops of your thighs included. 
You swapped positions and you positioned yourself on top him. As you did, Jungkook quickly pulled his legs underneath your bottom before crossing them below you, while you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist so that you were both in a sort of Lotus Flower position. You looked down, seeing his head perfectly level with your tits as he began kissing and nipping at your hardened nipples – making you reel from the sensitive sensation that coursed through you. You observed his hand as it slipped underneath you – grabbing a hold of his pulsating member and angling it right before your welcoming entrance once again.
“Baby...aren’t you forgetting something?” you questioned immediately in reference to the fact that he was about to enter you whilst you both found yourself in the most romantic baby-making position known to man. Jungkook shook his head as he looked up into your eyes, his stare completely melting you from the inside out.
“I want to feel you when I cum inside you...I want to make you mine in every way possible...will you let me?” his husky voice travelled to every single part of your soul as you let your mouth hang agape. 
“But – what if...you know?” you replied, wondering how he felt about the most obvious thing that could happen from not using protection. 
“You have nothing to worry about, Y/N” he whispered softly, feeling himself press against your small opening as the tip of his cock became engulfed by your slick tightness. “’If it happens, it happens. I would want no other woman to mother my children” you both let out an intense moan in turn as he pushed his way inside you. When Jungkook thought about you carrying his first child and bringing the product of your love into the world; with him becoming a father and you becoming a mother, it filled him with delicate feelings of paternal happiness he knew he could never feel with anyone else but you. 
You bit your lip hard as you rolled your hips at a rhythmical pace into his – feeling every inch of him curving inside you. Jungkook placed one hand below your bottom, while cradling your back with his free arm as a means to let you set the pace of your love making, but still letting him have full control over your every movement. You felt wave after wave of pleasure strike you as your clit moved flush against Jungkook’s body that was tight against yours; and your moans continued to spill from your lips as he looked up into your face – his eyes full of life and love as he seemingly peered right into your soul. In contrast to Jungkook’s way of asserting himself over you just moments ago, you could see the vulnerability in his eyes as he let his mouth hang open – panting and groaning at the feeling of pleasure from being inside you and so close to you.
“I love you...so much, Jungkook” you managed to speak – feeling your body almost grow limp from having little to no energy left as you felt your sweat drip down your temples. Sensing your exhaustion, Jungkook helped you lay down on your back to the bed – keeping himself still lodged inside you as he rested himself between your legs. His thrusts were slow, deep and meaningful as he pressed his forehead to yours and took your hands in his – pinning them to the bed while he felt your pulse rocket as he pushed you once again to your second orgasm of the evening. You felt like the entire world was spinning as you attempted to moan and writhe in fulfilment – but unfortunately, no sound left your mouth as you produced a silent cry in the wake of Jungkook’s pleasure-filled stokes that reached deeper and deeper within you.
“And I... I love you Y/N” Jungkook’s lips found yours for the millionth time as he felt himself twitch inside of you – his entire seed mixing with your juices as he came deep within you. He tensed every single one of his muscles, letting you swallow each of his moans as he slowed down gently.
“I’m so happy that you’re mine...” he almost whimpered as his movements ceased – before letting himself collapse on top of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck while you raised your arms up and over his back to hug him even closer to you.
“And I’m so happy that you’re mine, too” you kissed the top of his head – still feeling his cock buried inside of you as you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. 
Jungkook raised his head a fraction to look at you – his appearance both thoughtful and endearing as he held on to you. “I really am sorry Y/N. I never want you to feel like your aren’t a priority to me” he blinked gently as you continued to listen to his heartfelt, post love making thoughts.
“I know” you replied quietly, tracing the muscles along his back with your fingers. “And I’m sorry too. I guess we both just need to communicate a little better”.
“My Y/N – You are my world. You – you are my everything. I used to not understand what people meant when they said that to someone they loved, because before you – I thought music was my only love. But every day I spend with you, you give me a hundred more reasons to adore you. I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove that.”
You felt yourself well up at his words of endearment. He really was your world and you now knew for a fact that you were his too. 
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“Ooh, I forgot to say” you interrupted yours and Jungkook post love making silence. 
“James said I could approve the soundtrack for our film” 
Jungkook smiled to himself upon hearing you refer to it as your film. 
“If that’s what James said, who am I to undermine the director.” He declared. 
“The songs are on my phone in the Media Folder but im gonna hop in the shower while you listen. Cause it will break my heart if you don’t like them” he chuckled, half joking half serious. 
“I know im going to love them babe. But you go and take your shower, I’ll be right here when you come out”. 
He left with a smile. 
You scrolled through his phone to find the music files and tears began to fill your eyes once again as you read the tracklist: 
“I’d fight a microwave for you”
“You smell like home” 
“I think you’re pretty and I’m intimidated by you too” 
And the list went on. It was his list. His list of your phrases that made him smile. Before you could even finish reading the tracklist, you ran to the shower you embrace your bunny boy and show him for a second round how much you loved him. 
Although, if you had taken just a few moments to read the tracklist, Jungkook is sure you would have loved the last song on the soundtrack. It was the only title that wasn’t you contribution, it was his: 
12. “I hope she’ll marry me”
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Hope ya'll enjoyed it! My requests are open, feel free to send em across :)
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whiskeyghoul · 2 months
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She blinded me with science || [Spencer Reid X Goth!reader]
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A/N: self indulgent little fic here. I have been in a writing slump for a few weeks and needed to do something just a little self indulgent. So we have this which has been on my mind for ever. I love Abby Sciuto from NCIS and thought how fun it would be to see our little nerd fall in love with the alternative lab rat of the FBI. This is not proof read or anything so it might not be the absolute best but I just wanted to put something out here again.
WC: 1737
Tags: fluff, crush, first meeting, love at first sight possibly, multiple parts, opposites attract, self indulgent fic, reader is described as female, reader is alternative
Warnings: Mention of human remains.
Read part 2 here, read part 3 here
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The music coming from the lab was muffled. Even through the closed door Spencer could hear the barely legible lyrics as he got closer and closer. As he reached the door and knocked there seemed to be no answer. Certain his knocking wouldn’t be heard over the noise that he now recognized as Siouxsie and the banshees. He opened the door. As soon as the barrier between him and the music was lifted it sounded so clear. It was turned up to 11 and he wondered how anyone could even focus with music that loud.
That was until he saw you, swaying along to the music, the white coat exaggerated the movements. Swishing from side to side as you reach for a pasteur pipette while bobbing your head along to the music. You seemed absorbed in the music, focussed on your work leaning over the bench and carefully dripping a clear substance on a piece of paper while still perfectly on beat with the music. Spencer cleared his throat loudly, hoping to make himself known before he interrupted you in whatever you seemed to be doing. Though it didn’t quite reach the decibel level to alert you. “L/N” he called out your last name but once again no response. So he took a few steps closer. Once Spencer was close enough he reached out and softly tapped your shoulder. You jumped in response, whirling around in shock with the pipette in your hands raised like a weapon. Like somehow you would be able to defend yourself with the lab instrument. A yelp falling from your lips. 
“Oh my god! Can’t you knock!” You accused, eyes wide as you placed your free hand on the top of your chest, taking a deep breath. “I did. I also tried to clear my throat to not scare you.” Spencer retorted, his voice raised a little louder so you could hear him over the music. You twirled around, placing the pipette in the holder. “I’m Doctor Reid, from the BAU.” He continued loudly. You turned, holding your left hand up to shush him. Your right fishing the remote from your coat pocket. It gave Spencer some time to look you over. 
Your lab coat was about the only light thing you wore. The outfit underneath was black on black on black. A band tee with illegible writing that peeked over a corset, layered with a ripped fishnet top underneath. The abundance of necklaces of all different lengths, cascading down your neck like silver waterfalls. Ripped jeans he wasn’t quite sure were safe for the lab environment, but the skin of your thigh caught his attention. Something inside of him stirring. He fidgeted with his hands in front of his body.
“So… you were saying?” You spoke. Spencer’s eyes snapped back to your face. You looked up at him with big eyes, a small smile accompanying them. The music was turned down now giving him room to think. Though your eyes still made it difficult to really focus. “Oh, I am Doctor Reid, from the BAU.”  He answered after swallowing for a moment. “Ah! You are here for the clothing analysis, right? Penelope mentioned one of the team would come pick it up. Normally it's her or Derek, though I think Derek has complained about hearing loss.” You whirled around while rambling on, pony tail waving behind as you turned, bounding over to a table with scattered papers. Spencer followed close behind, not focussing on the words rather just the tone of your voice, a slight intrigue towards you. He didn’t even know your first name, yet somehow your mannerisms, your unconventional style, it made him want to know more. “Right.” He said, realizing he hadn’t technically answered your questions. 
Spencer looked over your shoulder as you picked up a stack of papers neatly stapled together. He thought he might be a bit too close as he could smell the subtle perfume wafting off of you. Though he also strangely enjoyed it. It was sweet but not overly so. A hint of cherry that was fitting in his eyes. The color of the fruit matching that of your lipstick. As you looked over the paper and began to talk again, “So, the substance that was on the clothes seems to be turpentine. Commonly used in oil painting. The vapors can already cause irritation to the eyes, skin, and airways if exposed to them for longer periods of time.” you rambled off the words as you read them. “There were some other things found on the clothes that coincide with the oil painting. Different pigments and paint residue.” You turned, eyes still on the paper nearly bumping into Spencer as he had been standing so close. When you looked up at him surprised he could feel a tightening in his chest. “Oops, sorry.” You apologized, a small smile on your lips.
You apologized to him while he was the one in your way. “Oh it was my fault. Shouldn’t have stood so close. Sorry.” He muttered. The words falling from his lips unceremoniously. He felt like half of his intelligence had up and left his brain as he talked to you. Not really knowing what to say at that moment. His hands fidgeted at his sides again. His left hand playing with the hem of his cardigan sleeve. He cursed himself internally for being reduced to a stumbling mess in front of you. You kept standing there though. Clearly you had turned around to go somewhere and Spencer had been in your way. Yet he was nailed in place and so, it seemed to him, were you. “Did you know they used to make oil paints with human remains?” You spoke excitedly. Like you had been waiting to tell someone, anyone, that little fact. He knew that. He knew that for a long time yet seeing you, tell him a fact with such delight, made him want to lie. “Now I do.” He answered, his smile matching yours.
“It was called mummy brown. They ground up mummies, both human and animal, and put it in the paint.” You continued. Your voice trailing off slightly after the word animal. You held up the stack of papers to him. “Everything you need is in there. If you need me to clarify something just give me a call. Or stop by whenever you want.” Spencer nods after your sentence. Taking the papers from you his hand touched yours ever so slightly. His brain short circuited for a moment before the neurons started firing accordingly again. “I eh- I don’t have your number.” he stumbled over the words.
As if you realized that in that moment you took a step aside and walked past him. Walking over to a desk and rummaging through a drawer. Spencer walked a bit closer to your desk. No longer being nailed in place by some unspeakable force. You pulled out a thin sharpie, and Spencer raised a brow ever so slightly at that. You walked back over, holding out your hand to grasp his. Spencer placed his hand in yours. His mouth felt incredibly dry for a moment. His tongue was uncomfortable in his mouth. His heartbeat raced faster. Nothing like he had ever really felt before. You could have done it on the papers, or maybe even a sticky note. Yet you decided that his hand would be the perfect place to write down your number. He thought about it for a moment, your hand was soft and warm. You twisted his hand, writing down your phone number along with your name. Once you finished you let go off his hand. Spencer looked at the black numbers, committing them to memory, and your name. God your name would be bouncing around his head for days. “Y/N.” He said, testing the name. It felt right.
“That’s me, you better put that in your phone. These markers are not nearly as permanent on skin. It’s the oils.” You went on, capping the marker as you spoke. “I will. Thank you.” Spencer said and smiled. He stayed standing in place for another moment. Trying to commit you to memory just in case his eidetic memory failed him. He realized he was staring a little and cleared his throat. “I eh… I have to go.” pointing his thumb to the door. You giggled a little, a sound that made Spencer’s cheek heat up a little. “Right, pretty boy, head on out. I need to get back to work too.” You smiled casually. Spencer’s face was only heating up more. He swallowed. The nickname the others used for him sounded so much better when it came from you. He turned around to hide his ever heating face from your sight, walking over to the door quickly. Once in the opening he quickly looked back, giving an awkward wave that you returned with a smile. 
When Spencer entered the bullpen his face had calmed down a little. Not feeling nearly as hot as before. He was able to think clearly again, but when he looked at your number and name on his hand he felt giddy inside. Reaching his desk he sat down, placing the analysis file on his desk. “That took you long enough, pretty boy.” Derek called out from his desk, humor in his voice. The nickname had no effect when he said it. “Sorry, the lab tech… she was explaining some things to me.” Spencer quickly lied. “Alright, can I get the file?” Derek had his hand already out. Spencer gave him the file and Derek’s brows raised at the number scribbled on his hand. “You got her number?” He smirked. Spencer pulled his hand back covering the numbers and your name with his other hand. “If something needed more clearing up.” He retorted. Derek merely chuckled at his awkwardness, “She’s friends with Garcia, you wouldn’t have needed her phone number.” He added with a smirk. Spencer felt his face heat up a little again, embarrassed. He knew that. He knew that he had known that. But in that moment he couldn’t think.
He looked back at his hand. Your name on his skin. A little flutter in his chest kicked up when he did. Derek cleared his throat, making Spencer look up again. Derek pointed at him with his pen, before opening his mouth. “You better call her soon.”
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