#i HATE being around people

[liverpool-enjoyer]

.

#for the first time im genuinely considering changing my major #n by considering i mean 'rlly want to but know deep down i cant' #cause like... i have NO IDEA what else i would do #like not a damn clue #so its either my current career path (which i have reason to believe im genuinely not cut out for) or... idk nothing??? #well i'd hafta do something #but idk what #its jus that after a LOT of thought ive come to the conclusion that me being a nurse will do so much more harm than good for other ppl #i made the most careless mistake last week that cost me a rlly valuable clinical experience at a SUPER reputable hospital #im the only one in my class who made that mistake #the only one stupid enough #like... gosh what am i DOING here? #im literally the least qualified person to be a nurse #im cold #im standoffish #i HATE being around people #when i told my friends n family i was going to nursing school they were shocked n WHY SHOULDNT THEY HAVE BEEN? #when you think of a nurse you think a someone whos kind. whos reliable. whos hardworking... im not any a those things #n its not even me being self depracating its an honest to gosh fact #oh also my grades fuckin suck lmao #like i literally know for a fact i got lower grades than every single other nursing major last semester #plus i was never going into nursing to help ppl #i went into it so i could sleep at night knowing ive done a 'good thing' #so yeah #ive put myself on a career path im not in any way cut out for #n i cant quit cause i have literally no plan b!!! #yay #idk what i was made for but its not this

[startingfires]

i hate people

#i survived almost 5 hours then i finally got the courage to say goodbye and go to my room #i hate being around people #i truly do not what it is #lol actually i do #and now i won't be able to do anything bc i know that they'Re here and i haven'T showered yet and i need to go through the kitchen to get t #the bathroom and i don't want to and i hate this and why #fucking hate this #why am i like this #ramblings of a rafaela

[deathspeaker]

Fell into a stress hole...

So years before my Dad died I encouraged him to buy a house. At the time we lived in a condo with MANY stairs. You couldn't even enter the house without going up stairs. There was no way to reach a bedroom or a bathroom without using the stairs. His health was failing and I anticipated it would only be harder to keep him out of assisted living if we stayed put.

So we moved into a smallish house (just under 1,200 sqft, to non-freedom units people yes that's a small house in America) that had no steps beyond the step up into the house. It was really inexpensive because it was a foreclosure. He spent the last 6 years of his life in it.

I am disabled. I can't hold down a job (my list of disabilities and issues has gotten even bigger in the last 2 years), so before he passed he told my brothers 'Take care of your sister.'

So even though I can't pay the mortgage of taxes for the house my eldest brother takes care of that (in exchange he gets to live for free in the house my mom got for him when his credit was too bad to sign a loan. She paid it off within 5 years of buying it but he still owed her money for it, basically paying rent till he paid her back).

It's a 3 bedroom 2 bath house. With itty bitty bathrooms and still needs repairs and updates but it's a house with a decent property in a decent neighborhood close to much of anything you need. I recognize I am insanely lucky to have this place.

So in a year my Nephew's lease is up and he pays 2k in rent a month (my mortgage is 777$), he has a wife and 2 daughters. They are currently renting a 2 bed 2 bath dinky apartment. The rent will go up if he renews the lease...

So everyone is looking at me like:

I love my nephew, I love my great-nieces, and love his wife. I would gladly give them my house because I am the kind of person who believes in making sacrifices for others, even at the cost of my own health (because I undervalue myself and my autistic ass is intent on proving that I'm not some kind of useless leech that society and libertarians keep insisting I am)

So if I give up my house to them (and I am willing to) that means I will need to find new housing. My most immediate options are to move in with my eldest brother and his wife or my mother.

I rather slit my throat than live with my mother. She is the source of like... many of my insecurities and mental health issues (or at least exacerbated existing mental illnesses to the breaking point).

And my eldest brother who loves constantly having his loud and obnoxious friends over. I am AUTISTIC. I have social phobias. I have panic attacks when I visit his house when his friends are there. Sure it would be preferable to living with my mom but that's still choosing to be shot in the gut rather than the head.

So now I'm so stressed I've fallen into a well of self-loathing and depression.

#I love living alone #I hate being around people #it takes me days to recover after having a fun day with people I like #I am not a well person #I realize I'm complaining about HAVING A FREE HOUSE #I pay all the bills #there is a small chance I could maybe move in with my other brother #who is going to be buying a house in san francisco #I haven't mentioned it to him #he would be much more preferable to the other two options #and I would be in driving distance of my boyfriend!

[golgibodyodyody]

You know when cats hiss? They were onto something w that.

#HISSING HISSING HISSING #warning for vent in tags // #i was so used to my hermit college life hardly ever leaving my dorm room and having quiet time all the time #i hate being around people #spent the whole day around people and I’m going to spend tomorrow with UNFAMILIAR people and sigh hiss spit growl #i don’t hate people! it’s the interacting with them that’s the hard part #hanging around a person singular is so much easier than people plural. singular means one person to cater towards #plural (esp when it comes to new ppl or ppl of different Genres) is like wtf does anyone want from me what am I supposed to share/suppress #in my heart of hearts I’m but a Thing that growls & chirps & hisses & clicks & headbutts & does not use words at all #so glad my bf doesn’t mind that. he’s so patient when I’m so upset I can’t speak or even look at him #wish making Sounds and Noises wasn’t seen as cringe ‘trying to be edgy/scary/quirky’ or ‘probably into petplay’ or smth like that #in an ideal world where I cared less abt what ppl thought of me I’d be one of those kids who hung out under stairwells and hissed at ppl #but alas I care too much #vesicle

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[blondefoxmedic]

Heee Ho the dysphoria is hitting since my co-worker said: "Well you don't look trans," after misgendering me. Like I know there is no trans look but she pretty much said I look like a girl and it had me crying the night after and I just feel like shit.

#I hate being around people #cw transphobia #Mun mumbles #Dysphoria #I just wanna die tbh #Haven't felt that awful for a while

[gay-jesus-probably]

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts about the whole thing of the Gerudo being a race of entirely women, with the only exception being one man born every hundred years, and that man automatically being their king. Now this worldbuilding comes from Ocarina of Time, and there's obviously a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications there, because it was 1998. And it seems that Tears of the Kingdom is sticking with the lore of Gerudo men being extremely rare and becoming the King of their people, which once again has a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications because it's 2023 and Nintendo has somehow gotten even worse about this shit.

But let's set aside the whole... everything, and look at this from just the in-universe perspective. How does it work? I mean, it's pretty clear that there is no overlap between the kings; the old ones are normally long gone by the time a new one is born, but the Gerudo manage to take care of themselves during the hangtime. So they must have an established system of government and leadership that doesn't involve a king, and somehow that system is set up in a way that does a smooth transfer of power once a new king is born and old enough to take the throne. But why bother always declaring a random guy to be your King when you already have a perfectly functional system in place?

I mean again, the whole thing has a lot of sexist implications, but we're not looking at this from a real world context, we're examining it in-universe. And we could just go the lazy route and say that their king is in charge just because he's the only man, but I don't like that. I mean come on, the Gerudo are a race of entirely women, and most of their outside problems come from Hylian men being creepy about it. They are entirely a matriarchy; there is literally no reason for their culture to have an inherent respect for men, even if the man in question is one of them. And they're desert people; they live in an extremely harsh and dangerous landscape, if they don't have their shit together, they will die. By sheer necessity, their culture needs to put a lot of value in being practical, because if they're stupid about things, people die. They really can't afford to have a shitty leader take over, and just letting some guy take the wheel doesn't really fit with the way their culture must otherwise work.

So again, why the fuck do they bother having a King?

I think it's mainly just a ceremonial position. Yes, if the guy is a good leader he'll be in charge, but if he isn't good at being a King or isn't interested in the job... fuck it, they've already got a functional government system that's been leading their people the whole time, why fix what isn't broken? The title of Gerudo King isn't about leadership or power. I think it's more about belonging. Because the Gerudo are a culture where every single one of them can be defined in the same way... and there is exactly one exception once a century. Men are considered to be inherently outsiders at the best of times, and more often they're enemies. A man born into this culture is a natural outsider; he is completely unique, and that means he doesn't really fit into his community. And well... when someone is fundamentally different from the rest of their community, they tend to be ostracized.

So I think that's why the position of Gerudo King exists. It isn't about them needing or even wanting a man to lead them. The title of King doesn't need to involve any leadership at all. It's about giving the man born every century a place in their society. It's a way of saying yes, you are one of us, you are a Gerudo, you belong here, you are wanted and you are loved.

The Gerudo know that every hundred years, one of their children will be fundamentally different from all of his peers. And so their society is built to ensure that a child who is completely different from them will still be loved and accepted. He will always have a place in their society. He doesn't need to earn their love, he has it just for existing. These are his people.

The title of Gerudo King isn't an inherent position of authority. It's a promise of acceptance.

#legend of zelda #ganondorf #tears of the kingdom #gerudo #look i have so many thoughts about how their society works #and for the record i really hate the implied bioessentialist gender stuff #but this is my headcanon on the whole gerudo king thing #if their king wants authority he still needs to earn it like everyone else #but they make sure he always has a place among his people #look growing up Different from your peers is a fucking nightmare #as any neurodivergent/disabled/queer kid can attest #i like the idea of gerudo society being structured around ensuring all their children felt like they belonged there #and having a system ready to go for the one kid they KNOW will be the most different

[planetlipz]

At the dentist rn. I’m purposely not looking at anyone’s face to give off the illusion I’m in the waiting room alone :)

#diary #i hate being around people #i don’t hate people but I do idk #i just get so anxious grrr

[thisismisogynoir]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

#was going to make a post about how much i hate that women aren't allowed to hate their oppressors but i decided to spin it into something #positive instead #this is supposed to be the feminist site that makes reddit mgtow piss their baby diapers so let's go back to despising men and not coddling #their feelings and let's dye our hair blue while we're at it #i am so tired of this new wave of guilt-tripping and gaslighting women who hate men and don't trust or want to be around them #i hate how we're made into villainesses or the problematic ones for not valuing them in our lives or for wanting to guard ourselves or be #safe from our oppressors #and i'm tired of people who don't know the first thing about feminism being like 'BUT THAT'S TERF RHETORIC WHAT ABOUT X MINORITY MEN' #guess what women can also be x minority that you're trying to protect the men of and we get to hate men too #trans women are included when i say women btw and trans men are included when i say men #if anyone has the right to hate men more than anybody else it's trans women esp trans lesbians because they put up with so much shit #from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors #so #terfs fuck off #radfems fuck off #and if anybody tries to make this post more appeasing to men or 'not all men's this post you are getting blocked and hit with a hammer #feminism #misogyny #sexism #patriarchy #tw men #tw rape #tw abuse #misandry #terfs dni #radfems dni #feminists need to go back to being scary and unpalatable for men none of this 'but some of them are good!' bullshit #men are entitled to nothing from us #and if you try to prove me wrong then you are just proving my point if you have nothing good to say then simply keep scrolling #ok? ok.

[sergle]

The unspoken part of that too, being called "soft squishy marshmallow mom shaped uwu" and then going, hm, no thanks. That's weird and uncomfortable. Is that people get SO TAKEN ABACK. And almost immediately switch straight into anger, because the idea of a fat person turning down a "compliment" is absolutely unthinkable.

#people HATE IT when you point out that it's weird. they don't even get embarrassed first they just get mad at you #Like these fatties should absolutely be grateful to receive any compliment at all type vibe #I was willing to tolerate you being fat but now that you've had an opinion I'm no longer on your side #don't listen to me I am insane #sergle.txt #and sometimes it IS attraction. THAT'S EVEN MORE FUCKED UP #When someone is attracted to a fat person but you can tell that THEY FEEL WEIRD ABOUT IT. So they ACT WEIRD about it #they don't treat it like they would treat attraction to a thin person #Would it actually kill you to just fuckin call this person hot!! you don't have to dance around it!

[jichanxo]

Help me, Lord, from these fantasies in my head / They ain't ever been safe ones

#sayo yasuda #yasuda sayo #umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #umineko spoilers #when they cry #wtc #jichanart #beyonce song so good you start making umineko art. crazy #but yeah focusing on the father/daughter comparison here #because for how she hates kinzo she still has no choice but to rely on the money and power that he left her. in order to do what she wants. #and the fear of being like him (re: her relationship with her cousins. creating another massacre on rokkenjima) #... i think about the manga panel where sayo talks about all the corpses in the bunker #and how there's no way kinzo is innocent... and the look on her face... #anyway i wanted to emphasise the ring (inherited power) and depict her furiously ordering people around (not unlike kinzo's own reputation) #obviously sayo's wrongs are not nearly the same as kinzo's wrongs by a long shot. but the comparison is there #anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk #umineko family-isms go crazy

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

"girls support girls-" okay but are you normal about queer women? are you normal about BIWOC? are you normal about disabled women? are you normal about autistic women? are you normal about fat women? alternative women? unattractive women? are you normal about women who choose not to shave their legs and armpits and faces? are you normal about butches and tomboys and masculine women? are you normal about trans women? are you normal about trans men? are you normal about nonbinary folk and people who lie outside the gender binary or renounce gender all together? are you normal about women who absolutely despise and detest the latest trends? are you normal about weird women who unsettle you with their interests? are you normal about women who don't wear makeup, who will never wear makeup, who openly dislike makeup and the makeup industry?

#ive seen a LOT of (usually white cis het) women and girls on instagram say shit like girls support girls and then turn around and shit on #women who dont follow trends #i really hate it when a woman posts about how they dislike [insert trendy thing here] and all of a sudden shes a pick me who doesnt like #other girls #ESPECIALLY when it comes to things like makeip #*makeup #its really pissing me off #this and the rise of the 'im just a girl' 'girl math' 'girl dinner' 'girlhood is-' #SHUT UP!!!! #WOMEN HAVE MANY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES!!! #if i have to see one more 'normalize femininity' post again im going to LOSE IT #alas i need instagram because i contact people from my school on there #me posts #edit: something else ive seen is just how prevalent white feminism has become #white feminism and blatent radfem rhetoric has just started being spread EVERYWHERE #like holy shit we are regressing

[batlovestomarry]

for the longest time i’ve wondered why and how people hate on this tom (from the half-blood prince) and i was thinking more on that a little today.

because have you even WATCHED the scenes he’s in? his voice? perfect. his mannerisms? absolutely chilling. he nails the role of a teenage tom, he’s creepy and unnerving and fits his character to a t.

and then i was pondering the things that people might not like about him, and i came to the conclusion that perhaps he’s too unsettling.

then i got rid of that previous thought because people who enjoy tom’s character have to be okay with some frightening behavior.

the only reason i can see why people who are tom riddle “enthusiasts” don’t like this tom’s general eerie-ness is that they don’t actually like tom riddle for tom riddle and only see him as this suave and sexy bad boy who is obviously only manipulative in a hot way.

the moment tom riddle isn’t a character they can blatantly sexualize (which isn’t a problem in itself but it’s necessary to the point i’m attempting to make) because he’s suddenly become too “weird” and “scary” (aka his CANON characterization) people freak out and act like this tom riddle portrayal is horrible and bad because, what do you mean their completely made up view of him where he isn’t seductive and suave and attractively toxic and is instead a clinical psychopath is the real deal????

this whole mischaracterization of tom is also why people are so quick to love tom riddle but not voldemort, who is the exact same person. yes, tom riddle could be and certainly was suave and charming when the situation needed it, but the point is that it was a ruse. it wasn’t his true self. voldemort is, above all, devoid of empathy, and it baffles me that people are surprised when he acts like it.

all in all, i absolutely ADORE the tom above and i think the hate on him (which i’ve mostly seen coming from tiktok, no surprise there) is unnecessary and forced. he’s the perfect tom riddle.

#this sorta turned into a rant but the two topics certainly are connected #this doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy ooc tom!! i dont Care if people mess around with his characterization #I’m all for allowing fiction to be just that : fiction #but the issue is when people hate on actors for being true to their character and switching up on a character when they’re not the idealized #version they had of them in their head #tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #tmr #Voldemort #hp #Harry potter

[genericpuff]

vent post

#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once” #i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO #anxiety is a hell of a thing #and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever #i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up #and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken #but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship #i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it #i am cringe and i am free #self post #vent post #altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read #too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll #i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made #i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol #i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim #i think both things can be true #i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like #while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium #“perfectly balanced as all things should be”

[twinstxrs]

the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.

being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.

it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.

so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.

#gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #btw these r just my personal opinions u r 100% free to disagree #gorgug & his rage interest me so deeply because of how deeply that rage existing seems to be against gorgug’s own will #like mechanically classes are choices & you can switch stuff around any time. but gorgug as a barbarian always felt like an unwilling choice #like that 14 y/o kid did not want to have rage. & that really interests me. #i’ve seen people before be like ‘what if gorgug dropped barbarian & went full srtificer’ but i feel like that simply can’t happen?? #mechanically yea sure but it always felt like a core part of gorgug that the rage will always be there & it’s a matter of how you channel it #idk. dnd classes narratively being treated as ‘you can not lose this part of you’ even though you technically can #gorgug could be lvl 19 artificer & he’d still have 1 level of barbarian. because that is part of who he is. #btw i don’t think porter truly cares about gorgug valuing his rage only as a way to be a human shield #i think porter just sees that as ‘wrong’ but like. not as in ‘you need to take care of yourself’ & more ‘you aren’t conforming’ #he thinks it’s wrong for the wrong reasons. the nastier ‘this is how you should be’ reasons #ppl being like ‘we r being too hard on porter. it’s an 150% courseload gorgug will be overwhelmed’ i think r missing the point bc like. #that is 100% a valid reason to not approve gorgug for multiclassing! but that’s also 100% not the reason porter rejected him. #that whole interaction was basically porter shoving his percieved version of conformity down gorgug’s throat. was v neurodivergent kid coded #no hate to anyone saying that last point btw these r all just opinions #thinking about last ep wilma & digby being like ‘you’re a great barbarian. you’re so great at it. but look at what you made!!!’ like. #they would never mean it like that. but when you only understand half of your son he is going to prioritize the half you do.

[worstloki]

AU where Loki doesn’t interfere with Thor’s banishment at all and it takes Thor years to prove himself worthy and when he returns to Asgard everything is just. The same. Nothing seems to have changed at all and everyone greets him like his absence was a minor obstacle that didn’t fundamentally change Thor and the worst part is Loki stepped down from the place as regent without any delay and Thor can’t help but feel there’s something underlaying the way his brother looks at him now and won’t let him touch him and Thor doesn’t know what he could have missed because he doesn’t think he would have found anything wrong with the things around him and how everyone behaves if he hadn’t spent time on Earth reflecting.

#the warriors 4 not being interested in anything Thor ‘learnt’ at all #and making it clear that Thor was punished unfairly and the AllFather’s decision had been harsh #Loki saying he’s happy for Thor and Thor sees the way the smiles are forced and he sees the way Loki avoids any touch #Thor hating the way Frigga talks about Loki’s short regency and Thor’s absence like it wasn’t two whole decades or something #like she’s so grateful to have her other son back without ever addressing why he was gone #Thor just. growing during his time on earth and being much more aware of the behaviour around him #he learns to be critical and assess why people around him may act a certain way #once he realises that it’s possible for him or anyone else to be fallible and make mistakes it’s over for Asgard for him I think #Thor returns and Loki gives him the throne and everyone expects him to obviously have the throne #and Odin is sleeping and Thor isn’t comfortable with the way everyone accepts him as king regent after the banishment #Loki who either never lashed out against Jotunheim or did and it was brushed away and no one thinks about it as anything #but Loki is still deeply affected and acts the way he always would have but Thor can feel it’s not the same #he knows something is wrong and Loki won’t say anything about it and Thor doesn’t know how to bring it up #Thor sees Loki metaphorically receding into the shadows to become a nonpresence so loud Thor hears it even after returning from decades away #Thor goes to Earth and gets his priorities in order gets a new worldview learns not to take what he has for granted #and finds out he actually despised Asgard #he’s been back a week and he can’t stand it