#lol actually i do

[startingfires]

i hate people

#i survived almost 5 hours then i finally got the courage to say goodbye and go to my room #i hate being around people #i truly do not what it is #lol actually i do #and now i won't be able to do anything bc i know that they'Re here and i haven'T showered yet and i need to go through the kitchen to get t #the bathroom and i don't want to and i hate this and why #fucking hate this #why am i like this #ramblings of a rafaela

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers #they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy #but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure #respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys #I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years #anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period #i was always at my besties house lol #i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever... #bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday 💜☮️

[areyouscaredyet]

im not particularly religious but i think it’s very cute that Trans Day of Visibility and Easter are on the same day this year :)

its no question that something like this could be triggering or upsetting to a number of queer ppl given the current sociopolitical climate, so i want everyone to remember that u are loved! Regardless of what u or others believe, there are ppl who will love and support you always. Give yourself patience and treat yourself with care!!!

happy and peaceful TDOV everyone!! And Easter to those who celebrate :D

#sorry for treating Jesus like an anime character #trans day of visibility #tdov #easter #Jesus is actually very fun to draw #I have no idea how to tag this because what do I even say #lgbtqia #religion #Jesus #christianity #christian imagery #sorry for all the tags I just wanna make sure ppl can filter this if they don’t wanna see it lol #i drawd this

[quibbs]

just had SO much fun with the fallout tv show... i love you missus okey dokey

#fallout #fallout tv show #my art #lucy maclean #i was not expecting it to be so good but it was!! delightful #i think i like video game adaptations better when they do their own thing with it lol #such a relief to instead of seeing something regurgitated mindlessly for profit #its actually just a completely fresh story but in a familiar setting. cool balm on my skin #i guess that's where i'm at in the remake hell we all live in rn #ella purnell has the sweetest biggest eyes i've ever god damn seen

[buggachat]

something so fucked up about Chat Noir’s whole deal is that he is in a lot of ways Adrien playing a character. Like Adrien picked up his miraculous and was told he’d be a superhero so he was like “ok, time to act like a superhero!” and he lets himself have fun w it and play up the role and let loose and kind of just allow himself to be silly and goofy and have fun and for once in his life not care about performing Perfection™.

But. But none of the other characters KNOW THAT. So everyone just sees Chat Noir and is like “look at this guy’s ego. He’s so full of himself. Surely it’d be fair to knock him down a few pegs” without being aware of how few pegs he actually HAS. He’s like the “insecure character who overcompensates in ego” trope except he’s really not doing it unironically, he’s just having a fun LARP pretending to have self worth in his off-hours but nobody else is on the same page about it being a game and he refuses to tell them. He just dramatically pouts about it and lets them laugh and pretends like he’s not internalizing it and it is almost 3 am and my brain forced me to write this instead of sleeping I’m gonna take a melatonin

#writing this my brain was like: what if he actually likes it? #what if he likes people openly criticizing him in ways nobody actually does to Adrien agreste? #because Adrien Agreste is perfect and can do no wrong. maybe he enjoys being insulted or something #and then I remembered chat noirs multiple breakdowns about feeling unworthy and yknow what yeah I don’t think he likes it LOL #do normal people actually fall asleep when they lie down #if you can’t tell I recently decided to make my random ml musings your guys’ business instead of keeping it to myself #hope you enjoy

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[idiotsonlyevent]

i wonder where the idea of chilchuck being a deadbeat came from when theres like. no textual evidence for it ?

he knows what all of them are up to; he still writes to flertom and she sent him his neckwarmer, so that to me implies that they at least have a somewhat positive relationship?

its more ambiguous with meijack and puckpatti, but since meijack is also a picklock, i wouldn't be surprised if he taught her himself, considering how trades are often passed down through families, and because he talks about sending people to her if he dies.

also the way he talks about puckpatti is very like... it's obvious he wants her to take things more seriously, but he's accepting, and his tone here reads more fond to me than anything else.

like, he keeps his daughters' old toys under his desk? that doesn't scream 'deadbeat' at all, it screams 'empty nester' who doesn't know how to reach out or is scared to do so

EDIT: i know a lot of the 'deadbeat dad' stuff is jokes, but some people are Not joking and genuinely think chilchuck is a bad dad. this post is not saying that you cant joke about it; it is just outlining what canon shows regarding his (clearly positive) relationship with his kids.

#i love making fun of him but he is like. Very Explicitly Not a Deadbeat Dad lol #WHY DID I WRITE SO MUCH AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN #CHILCHUCK I AHTE EYOUUUUUIUUU #WHY DOES HE DO THIS TO ME.... #EDIT: 'i thought the deadbeat dad stuff was a joke do ppl actually think that?' YES thats why i made this post 😭😭 bc ive seen ppl genuinely #say that hes a bad dad/husband! #L.txt #dungeon meshi #chilposting #long post

[transhitman]

Found this weird VHS in my oma's attic??? Delicious in Dungeon I guess? Anyone know if it's based on a book or something?

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #art #if the joke isn't clear these are done in the style of the rankin bass hobbit/the last unicorn #the color scheme of the third one is actually ripped directly from a screenshot of the hobbit lol #izutsumi is supposed to look like smaug also LOL #I was gonna do more of these but I got distracted lol.

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[raycatzdraws]

Wolfie and Four friendship appreciation doodles! They're shared secrets besties! I hope Four's distrust of the shadow crystal doesn't drive anything between them. Wild found his way into this compilation with a force. It seems I can't draw Wolfie and not include him too!

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu four #lu twilight #lu wolfie #lu wild #lu legend #lu hyrule #fairy hyrule #I drew most of these on my weekends at camp #hence the swearing probably lol can't swear in front of the campers #man I did not leave that mountain for the whole summer and I wouldn't have it any other way #I was there 6+ weeks straight #some of the other counselors who also stayed and I would occasionally make the hour drive into town #a bunch of us went to see the Barbie movie together and like 2/3 through the film the fire alarm went off and we were evacuated ajhsgfsdf #we all held hands to not be separated in case there was an actual emergency and some guy was like 'look at the preschoolers' #AND AAAAA I won't be separated from my counselor buddies!!!! RAAAHH this is what we would have gotten the kids to do #so I guess we're just too good at our jobs lol #that one LU post with the lads lined up with their bows? It's AWESOME #but I taught a bunch of kids archery this summer and none of the lads have the right posture lol #I'm walking up and down that line readjusting all of them ahsgdsdf #Imagine Wars going to Wind though like 'remember to pull back to your smile! :D ' #and Wind just deadeye staring him down like you serious rn? #caught and removed a scorpion from the lake cabin biffy this summer - that was very exciting #calmed the campers down and put them to bed and then rolled up my sleeves and asked the program staff who was staying with us #for emotional support #her only experience with scorpions was from animal crossing so she was like 'get ready to run' and I'm- I think we'll be okay #anyways it's her perched on one of the toilets with a spray bottle of bleach and me with an empty tupperware from dinner #I caught it under the tupperware but IT MOVED THE TUPPERWARE #we drowned it in bleach and it like finally died but it took a while and then we flung it into the woods BYE BUGGY

[aeide-thea]

on principle opposed to describing art i dislike as 'masturbatory' because even though it's an alluringly contemptuous word to sneer it's impossible to reconcile with my pro-masturbation stance

#it's such an ugly word but like. self-pleasure is good‚ actually #it's good to know yourself and what you like and lovingly treat yourself to it! #like similarly 'meretricious' is extremely tempting if you ignore the underlying metaphor #but. hard to. #language #and quite frankly i think people who whip out 'masturbatory' in this sneering sort of way #are leveraging‚ if we're honest with ourselves‚ a particular framing of it as a gross thing that boys do #because like. when have you ever heard a *woman's* self-indulgent art described as masturbatory #like don't get me wrong we absolutely still dismiss it! but we dismiss it in other ways #that are usually about how embarrassing her *yearning* is #and so even our sneering is reinforcing an idea that men Act whereas women Feel #anyway this was prompted by some things but i shoved it in the queue so now i forget what lol #so here you are getting some contextless thoughts on the use of 'masturbatory' as sneering dismissive assessment! #just what you were hoping for i'm sure :)

[liquidstar]

stim toys for old greek men ^

#this is very specific but if you know an old greek man youll understand #theyre actually genuinely fun to play with tho i get it. it really does occupy the hands well #i cant do tricks with them like all the old men tho LOL

[jarrows]

"We met next day as he had arranged, and inspected the rooms at No. 221B, Baker Street, of which he had spoken at our meeting. They consisted of a couple of comfortable bed-rooms and a single large airy sitting-room, cheerfully furnished, and illuminated by two broad windows."

#holy shit i actually finished it. #sherlock holmes #i still can't believe it #ive been working on this thing off and on for nearly a year #idk what to do with myself now lol #pop the champagne i guess!

[daeyumi]

Exploring the depths 🌌🪻

#zelda #tears of the kingdom #TotK #zelda totk #zelda tears of the kingdom #legend of zelda #zelda fanart #link #daeyumi art #totk link #linktober #linktober 2023 #this is the last piece i did for linktober originally #for day 28 sparkle/bright #tho actually it was the first one I drew for linktober this year lol i’ve actually been waiting a while to post this one #anyways i’m p happy with it actually #exploring the depths in totk is one of my favorite things to do in the game #it’s so scary down there lol but like in a good way? #adventuring is fun

[ribbittrobbit]

Ruvina, goddess of winter and sorrow

#ruvina #d20 fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #dimension 20 #fhjy #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #lucy frostblade #d20 fanart #yeah so im spinning in circles in my mind like gorgug when he was losing it over mango soda #ribbittrobbit #completely normal about the cosmology of fantasy high #my ipad says i worked on this & ankarna for 12 hours #ice is hard to draw so its just little lines now lol #now i need to go do actual work instead lol

[lylahammar]

Zorella, the centaur pop queen ✨

Thank you to everyone who helped me by voting on her final design in the poll from last week! I'm so so so happy with how she turned out 🥰

#I imagine her music sounds something like a happy medium between Sza and Ashnikko :3 #but maybe more EDM #her style is very raver girl so it fits #it was pretty funny designing basically a lingerie harness for a horse body LMAO #that was actually what inspired her design #I was thinkin about how it would be cool to try to combine strappy harness-y raver girl fashion with horse tack #I'm deffo gonna draw her more bc I already have so many fashion ideas for her #also I've realized that I rly love doing graffiti designs lol I got carried away with her name #it probs distracts the eye too much in the composition but w/e it was fun 😂 #my art #character design #original character #OC #centaur #OCs #eye strain