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catch-the-wind · 3 years

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when reader is sick hc's

finally posting writing here so true

n e ways okay so i’m brainrotting about the genshin charas taking care of their s/o’s when they’re sick 🥺 and now i'm feeling sick, sigh

ohm and sulien ambros belong to @teyvattherapist! they're such good chara's, i know i'm writing them here but i deffo recommend reading up on them

okay here u go, have some hc's that are kinda sorta long and by that i mean 2.5k- i haven't proofread this bc it's 4am and im going to BED but if i write for any other chara's i'll post a second part <3 mwah

tags: gn!reader, diluc x reader, kaeya x reader, jean x reader, lisa x reader, albedo x reader, dainsleif x reader, tartaglia x reader, ohm ambros x reader, sulien ambros x reader, soft bean hours

diluc

is not working or traveling when his partner is sick

absolutely makes them soup and hot tea and drinks

he’s trying to make them food but he’s not the best cook so he’s asking adelinde for help

absolutely asks jean, barbara, and ohm for help while his partner is sleeping but he’s so awkward LMAO

was absolutely frantic the first day he found out his partner was sick tho, he made them come over to the winery so they could sleep there and he can take care of them <3

absolutely lied about what room was his so they slept in his bed

“hmm this guest room is so furnished diluc are all your rooms like this” and no, no they are not, this room is his, bestie

diluc slept on a sofa in his bedroom and did work on the table that was supposed to be for flowers. kinda stressed over abyss order locations but was more worried ab his partner being okay so he was distracted

he just put the flowers on his nightstand for his partner to see when they woke up <3

gives his partner forehead kisses because they won’t let him kiss them on the lips and he gives them the gentlest cheek kisses while they sleep

also gives his partner his clothes to wear <3

cuddles them and reads to them when they’re awake and TEMPLE KISSES OH MY GOD

kaeya comes over because he’s worried his brother and his brother’s s/o haven’t been seen in a little while

n e way, diluc gets sick after his partner gets better and they nursed each other back to health

kaeya

like diluc, he took off work so he could take care of his s/o i,mediately after he found out they were sick

wouldn’t force them to stay at his place tho, he’d probably let them recover in their own place

but he might make them go to the kof hq or the cathedral just so they can be taken care of by a proper healer

he absolutely soothes their fevers and stuff w cryo and also the man can heal himself w his elem skill ofc he can fix someone if he tries hard enough <3

he gives kisses no matter how much his partner says not to but he’ll also give them butterfly kisses so it’s soft moments too~ sigh, ur too cute alberich

asks ohm and barbara and albedo and lisa for potions and such to help his partner feel better but he’s really lowkey so he doesn’t seem SUPER worried

he just hates seeing his partner not feeling so well </3

refreshes his partner’s vase of flowers at their bedside every day

brings home work so he can watch over his partner. he can’t cook super well either so he asks for help and brings stuff home from good hunter too

jean was okay to let kaeya off of work and diluc would never admit it (man practically swore everyone to secrecy smh) but he helped take up some of kaeya’s duties in his stead

and kae, the alcoholic, didn’t even drink while his partner was sick bc he was lowkey worried they would need his help w smth and he didn’t want to be drunk just in case <3

many cuddles despite protests of getting him sick <3

jean

absolutely uses her healer skills to make her partner feel better

panicked when they were still sick and thought it was her fault </3 she asked barbara and ohm for help and they just told jean to relax a bit bc her partner was sick and it wasn’t going to be a quick fix

wanted to take off work but didn’t, so she just brought her work with her

kaeya and ohm very kindly took up her other duties where she had to leave so she could be w her partner

her partner is staying in the kof hq where they get access to ohm and barbara comes to visit <3 but also so that jean can sleep comfortably enough close by bc you cannot tell me this woman does not sometimes sleep in her office or the library and barely makes it to the kof dormitories sometimes

she’s so worried the entire time, she’s probably got a few gray hairs and a new frown line smh

she has clothes that aren’t her work clothes???? it’s so foreign seeing her in stuff like pajamas. you didn’t even know jean owned pajamas

jean sets them up in her bed at home (yeah she has a place outside of the kof hq??? it’s surprising) but it’s a big bed so they can rest and she’ll have the lamp on her side on while she sits up and does work

absolutely dotes on them. she’s good at making foods that make them feel better, she’s just a good healer that way <3

albedo, klee, venti, kaeya, lisa, and ohm all come over to check on jean and co and make sure everyone is doing okay <3 lots of food brought

if jean was asked to sing to her partner normally, she probably wouldn’t bc she’d probably get embarrassed but i think she probably sounds v good and venti would give her his lyre to try out a musical instrument too. but also she’d read to her partner and they’d probably fall asleep together uwu

lisa

works part time hours at the library so she can go visit her s/o

probably asks them to stay at the kof hq for easier access to medical assistance and plus she’s almost always there

“cutie” but worried and very 🥺 (pleading emoji)

makes soup and potions and reads to her partner until they fall asleep

also super playful omg she’s still got a smile on and is full of affection while she walks her fingers up her partner’s arm to their face so she can cup their cheek

she’ll make her partner laugh and smile and blush even when they’re sick, but she makes them laugh until they cough sometimes and immediately feels so bad

jean, barbara, kaeya, albedo and ohm all come to visit with different foods and soups and medicines and such

klee comes knocking and gives lisa some good fisherman’s toast and asks lisa’s s/o if they want to hug dodoco b/c that always makes klee feel better

purple roses galore, lisa has them in her partner’s room and they’ve got a potion to make the. uh. sniffer? to make the sniffer feel better. don’t ask me how, idk but she would find a way to make them physically feel better with flowers

reads to her partner ofc, and she tells them stories ab her own life and time at sumeru sans the crazies

worried looks when her s/o is sleeping but also the softest smiles when they wake up pls-

albedo

cutest lil frown on his face when he finds out his partner is sick

immediately they are taken home and he’s testing to confirm what’s wrong w them and what he can do to speed up their recovery

he’s more distracted than usual at work but he’s coming over to your place all the time w what paperwork he can do

also sketches his partner while they don’t know. he’s got lots of beautiful candids of his partner sleeping, looking out the window, falling asleep, reading, even drinking water. he’s made the most mundane things look captivating

kaeya and ohm come to check on albedo when he doesn’t show up for work after a few days and it’s bc he’s taking care of his s/o with food and soup and alchemical potions and shit. and when kae and ohm come in, they find his partner opening the door wrapped in a blanket while albedo is asleep cuddling the pillow they left bc he stayed up the night before making soup and reading to them

klee has camped out on his partner’s couch, she helps w the cooking too~ she absolutely lets them hug dodoco and gives them a treasure to feel better too LOL

many kisses from klee and albedo, and they also go out to get treats for albedo’s partner too

domestic albedo cooking in his partner’s kitchen and for once it isn’t some alchemical potion that he might blow up the stove with

tartaglia

takes off work entirely but BOY OH BOY is he stir crazy smh

brings his partner to his apartment to rest <3

he’s so worried ab his s/o that he makes all the sick ppl food the first day, orders from wanmin restaurant when his partner wants smth different, and also gets toys and such to entertain them otherwise

also reads to his partner but, again, he gets stir crazy after a while

absolutely does workouts and katas in the living room and phew shirtless tartaglia working out? gets the heart rate up for sure ahem

rushes to his partner tho omg- need soup? water? a trip to the bathroom? another blanket? he goes to them the MOMENT he hears them moving around. absolutely dotes on them <3

his family knows ab his partner and he’s probably written letters ab them being sick~ his family sent snezhnayan herbs and flowers and medicines and such

zhongli comes around because he wants sugar daddy!tartaglia with tea and medicine from bubu pharmacy. hu tao is in tow with well wishes and a “hope i don’t find you at work!” which is. a little worrying because aren’t you just a little sick-

many kisses from tartaglia because he is Needy and he’ll absolutely get sick from cuddling his partner while they sleep

also he’ll probably just like. envelop his partner while they sleep. they’re all cuddled into him and he’s actually so warm it’s nice bc they’re cold w a fever and he’s living for comforting them

he’s so worried tho, he’s got the frowny face and he’s so adorable but he just doesn’t want his partner to feel sick

dainsleif

the man camps in ruins, he’s going to his partner’s house smh

he doesn’t go into the church either LOL so expect him in his partner’s home making dinner and doing their grocery shopping thanks

he would get ohm and barbara to come over tho <3 “fix them please” but also “how can i fix them”

is so dead set on making sure his partner takes their medicine at the right times, he’s so soft for them and them alone

cooks soup and old recipes he barely remembers from khaenri’ah. he doesn’t really get sick, so he doesn’t remember these ones too clearly. deffo brings back old memories he’d long forgotten

reads to his partner and tells them old stories of how the world used to be, his travels, gives them the gossip on a certain khaenri’ahn but doesn’t give away the name

ohm comes over with medicine and lollipops bc dain is so unlikely to go to the cathedral to get barbara smh

but also dain, so self-sufficient, is unlikely to want to ask for help, so ohm just goes to help anyway

dain with the old khaenri’ahn lullabies and tucking his partner into his arms and singing quietly while he holds them and rocks them to sleep

dain is immortal, he’s giving his partner kisses bc “i’m immortal, ofc i won’t get sick”

he got sick

but his s/o nursed him back to health and then there were smooches the end

ohm ambros

the doctor with his ill lover oh my god

he’s frowny, he’s taking care of his partner at his home in springvale and his home clinic is open to everyone else. but everyone knows his partner is the first priority LOL

kaeya and albedo come over to see if ohm is okay or if his house needs to be checked up on. they’re wondering if he went on a last-minute expedition to sumeru and didnt tell them

diluc comes over too, he’s just checking up on his best friend but he’s also stealing a cherry lollipop smh. he heard from kae that ohm’s partner is sick tho, so he brings some soup and good food over from adelinde. he also brings some of his own specialty food tho, the once upon a time in mondstadt <3

sulien sending letters to his big brother to see if his brother’s s/o is okay

ohm is also just super protective of his partner, there are not many people who come into his life who he loves and lets in in the first place. he’s absolutely trying to heal them with his own vitality, so their recovery is much shorter than initially expected

barbara also comes over w jean to check up on ohm and co, complete w a goody basket of soup, a teddy bear, flowers, and books

ohm reading to his partner <3 he’s got such a soothing voice even if his accent is wack LMAO. he’s reading stories and even his paperwork because just his presence is comforting

he puts his hands on his partner’s forehead to soothe the fever goodbye

ohm will not sing for his s/o simply bc he doesn’t think he sounds v good. and he probably doesn’t but it would be so cute to hear him try and please ohm? 🥺

n e way i want smooches idc if i’m sick KISS ME OHM AMBROS

sulien ambros

when he finds out his partner is sick, the man blinks like twice and then suggests so calmly that they go to his apartment in liyue

man does not sleep normally, he’s just going to nurse his partner back to health and read during their recovery. fruit tart can cover his duties for him <3

sulien cooks for his partner tho, he’s making soup and stuff and getting medicine from bubu’s pharmacy. he’s also picking up books on the way home but some of them are to be read to his partner so it’s okay-

like tartaglia, sulien works out while his partner rests and goes to them if he hears them moving around. he’s reading to his partner and not so frowny, but the slightest furrow of this man’s brow is already such a big expression of his concern <3

sends letters to ohm asking for advice ab how to help his partner feel better. ohm just sends a letter back with “i’m coming” and shows up within the day LMAO

reads to his partner, and the monotony of his voice is soothing and lulls them to sleep. he just looks at them affectionately (well affectionate for him) and presses a kiss to their forehead before finishing the story on his own and in his head

tartagalicious comes over and brings food, flowers and a teddy bear with some of sandrone’s paperwork but he sends a smile to sulien’s partner with some well wishes

scara comes over too just to visit and check to see where sandrone is, but scara is a grumpy bean so he just says “feel better” all brooding and like it’s a command to one of the fatui subordinates LOL

sulien like ohm uses his cold hands to soothe his partner’s fever and also gives them forehead kisses <3

Edit: a link to part 2

#genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #jean x reader #lisa x reader #albedo x reader #dainsleif x reader #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #ohm ambros x reader #sulien ambros x reader #lane's ocs #genshin fluff #hc's #lyz.writes #i'm finally posting here omg #so many tags...#goodNIGHT

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happytroopers · 3 years

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Fives and Dogma for 20. "What-ifs/Alternate Timelines" maybe?

Fives:

In my mind, he survives the whole Chip ordeal. Like skin of his teeth everyone besides Rex thinks he’s dead

Rex smuggles him to Salecumi (idk how to spell it) where Cut and Suu nurse him back to health

Think Fennec in the Mandolorian, mechanical insides and such

Obvs this makes Rex more Savvy to the chip situation but like one battle at a time

Once Fives stabilizes and is able to make more sense, Rex gets his chip out, which enables him and Ahsoka to rescue a couple more clones when order 66 comes around

When Rex first suspects Echo is still alive, He keeps it from Fives not wanting to get his hopes up for nothing - plus it’s dangerous to communicate too much lest Cut and Fives be discovered.

But until he can be sure Echo is still completely himself he can’t tell Echo ab Fives but he never explicitly says he’s dead either he’s always just like “he’s not WITH US anymore”

Flash forward to post order 66, Echo is with the Batch, Fives is with Cut, the galaxy is currently in chaos

As we know, Rex blew through Salucemi and finally told Fives everything. He’s mad at first but long term understands, he’s relieved that Rex and Ahsoka are alright, and they both mourn the 501st together

Fives knows he has to go find Echo, bc the domino squad sticks together and he lowkey feels guilty he left him at the citadel AND never figured out he was alive

BUT Cut and Suu notice all the empire stuff and know they have to get them and the kids out of there so instead of leaving with Rex he agrees to stay and help Cut and Suu until they leave and then he’d strike out on his own

He goes to town the next day for whatever reason

Low and behold when he comes back there’s this little blonde girl that looks a lot like him playing with the kids

And then Cut comes out followed by the batch

He doesn’t immediately recognize Echo

Echo would recognize that stupid goatee anywhere

OBVS they reunite and it’s beautiful and touching and heartbreaking.

I genuinely think Fives and the Batch would vibe ESP without Crosshair ++ I just know him and Omega would get along

Idk how he’d really fit in the plot of the Bad Batch / helping Rex with the rebellion

But after the chip incident I doubt he has a lot of trust for any form of over arching authority

But he’s just like “I FUCKING TOLD YOU REX.”

But I doubt that he and Echo would separate again

This leads them to get their chips out earlier saving Wrecker a lot of trauma

Speaking of, I think he’d REALLY vibe with Wrecker Bc Wrecker would remind him of Hardcase

Tech upgrades his mechanical lungs and such bc the black market stuff Rex was able to get his hands on was not up to Techs standard.

Hunter is slightly indifferent but appreciates another set of eyes and hands, more ppl to keep Omega safe. He’s glad Echo was reunited with Fives though bc he knew how hard it was for Echo to come back and barely know anyone but Rex.

He and Crosshair(should our fave sniper ever return) would not vibe. At all.

Think Steve and Bucky but if Steve didn’t time travel back to his side piece

Dogma:

My alternate timeline Dogma makes very little sense but I love him all the same

So the event of Umbara happen as they did canonically

Despite feeling a lil guilty ab it Rex sends him back to Kamino feeling a lil guilty ab it but Dogma understands. His brother don’t trust him anymore which is heartbreaking all in it’s own right, he doesn’t trust himself, and now he’s learned that he can’t even trust command as he used too

But despite all that he’s seeing the world through a mew lens. His moral code has been flipped upside down, he’s not sure who to trust and for the first time he’s allowing himself to question things

He’s distrustful of the Kaminoans as they move him through his “psych eval”. They keep saying that as soon as he’s deemed fit for duty, he’ll be reassigned to a new unit

He stops answering their questions as honestly, telling them the “correct answers” he knew he was supposed to

One day as he’s waiting for his brain scans he sees a data pad laying on the side table, outline his treatment plan.

This wasn’t a brain scan- this was reconditioning. To forget what he saw on Umbara and be retrofitted as a maintenance clone.

He does a little more digging as he waits for the Kaminoan scientist to come back, and of course he eventually comes to some information ab the chips.

First and foremost, after having his world view rocked, he’s immediately like, “ok excuse you, you can’t take my memories just bc you don’t like the negative light this puts on you and the Jedi.”

Then, esp with this newfound distrust of the Jedi and most of high command, he’s really not as chill with the chip as he once would have been

At that moment there’s no way to escape, he’s sitting on an operating table, there’s two armed guards on the other side of the door, he’s in nothing but Kamino plain clothes, there’s approx 100,00 soldiers between him and anything that could fly, not to mention the blockade around the planet. He needed more time to plan al he could do was grab a piece of flimsy and write down bullet points on what he found and who he was, he shoves in between the layers of his clothes and just hopes it’ll be there when he comes out on the other side

He has to put everything as he found it. As the Kaminoan comes in and asked questions as if they weren’t about to psychologically torture him, he forces himself to answer as if he knows nothing. Even if it’s through gritted teeth and with a harsh glare.

They give him a sedative and all he can think before the medicine takes affect is “don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget what they did to you. Don’t forget what they’ve done to your brothers.”

He wakes up in a random bunk, he feels angry but can’t remember why. He knows there’s something he needs to do, but can’t remember his purpose. There’s a uniform folded on his foot locker- he recognizes as Kamino Sani-Workers uniform?? Was that what he was supposed to do? Why couldn’t he remember doing it before? But what did he do before?

He sits up, something is rustling and crinkling under his clothes. Even more confusion but before he gets the chance to check a Kaminoan escorted by an officer walk in.

They call him by his CT number which shouldn’t have been a problem, but he knew that’s not what he should be called- but didn’t know what he was expecting. They say their glad he was awake, that he injured himself in a fall while cleaning- that would explain the amnesia, but somehow he just knew that was wrong. He was almost shocked by the amount of anger that surged through as his brain just screamed- they’re lying to you!

The Kaminoan told him that once he underwent some scans and check ups, another Saniworker would fill in any gaps and explain his jobs, and then left saying they’d be back for him tomorrow, not to leave to room barracks and that dinner would be brought to him later.

Once he was alone again and he knew he was alone, he inspected the odd rustling in his clothes and pulled out the flimsy that had been shoved behind in between the layers. It was folded twice and the handwriting inside was frantic.

It was bullet pointed, informing his that his name was Dogma, it outlined the events on Umbara, Don’t trust the Jedi was underlined emphatically, Don’t trust high command was next, that they had reconditioned him and then something about a chip in his brain that needed to come out once he got away.

Some of this sparked flashes of memory and surges of emotion, a bioluminescencent planet, a blonde clone with an angry look on his face and then the same clone with a sympathetic look in his eye, two clones in an execution block, they looked scared and angry, Dogma was holding a gun, then he was holding a different gun, he was in a cell, and now another blaster it was smoking, a Jedi in cuffs was dead, he killed the Jedi? A surge of anger, pride, and then immediate wariness- a transport to Kamino, scientists poking and prodding at him, a syringe, the inside of a scanner, darkness…

The onslaught of images- memories, he realized- split his head with a migraine. Later he would find out that reconditioning was most successful when subjects are unassuming and not brought into contact with environments or people that could trigger memories. But even unsuccessful, it fractured the mind to be toyed with like that.

With nothing to do, all he can do is sit in his bunk and think about what he knows, even if it splits his head to do it. He slips the piece of paper into an air vent, wedged under a loose screw so it wouldn’t blow into the wrong hands.

Days pass, all he can do is play into this new role he’s been cast in. Old memories flood back, a trooper with long hair and a tear drop tattoo, a human Jedi that didn’t spark the same hostility as the other. But so did inorganic memories- his brain trying to fill the gaps of his reconditioning. False memories of never leaving Kamino, spending days cleaning and fixing things.

He fights against those, forcing himself to read his piece of flimsy every night. Leaning into the memories that felt real, but not quite sure if he could trust those either.

Weeks have passed, it’s harder to not stay mad at the kaminoans and high ranked officers who knew what happened. How could his brothers let this happen? Did his former squad know this is what would happen when they shipped him off?

But the good thing about maintenance clones is that no one plays him any mind. Dogma knew that. So he kept jobs done perfectly adequate and perfectly on time for weeks, and before long the Kaminoans lost interest in him. Assuming the reconditioning had done its job.

This gave him wiggle room. He knew where the cameras were, and therefore the blind spots. He knew when security made their rounds, when which cadets went where for training. He knew that how much time he had down the second that he wouldn’t be seen as he accessed the data terminal in one of his blind spots.

It was in those tiny time pockets he learned more about himself. What he accomplished, this missions and planets he’d been on, who he had served with, the names and numbers of his batch mates and which ones of them were still alive. He had been in the 501st, with war heroes CT 7567, ARC 5555, ARC 1409, Commander Ahsoka Tano, and General Anakin Skywalker.

It was also there that he found the nitty gritty about the Umbara mission, the unabridged version of what happened there. He used a stolen data stick to download both Captain Rex’s, Arc Trooper Fives’, and a Tup (one of the last remaining member of his squad.) so he could watch their debrief statements in their entirety.

And since the Umbara mission was still under investigation, it was there he found his his armor and weaponry were being held in Kamino’s archives.

One day, when being assigned his tasks for the week, he’s assigned to a hangar bay for the almost every day. That’s when his plan formed.

Using help from his maintenance droid co workers, he used them to transport his armor to a cargo ship- civilian piloted- and then once he had the chance, he smuggled himself on the ship.

He felt a little guilty for stunning the poor civvie, a peach skinned twilek girl who hadn’t even seen him before she slumped over unconscious. With her stunned and safely locked in her quarters, he landed the ship on the nearest backwater and disappeared into a city’s underbelly with the ships cargo.

Which was immediately pawned off to a black market dealer- dogma didn’t feel too bad, the ship was mostly carrying first aid supplies and droid poppers, nothing too dangerous, and it padded his pockets with enough credits to get by for a while. The republic would think it was raided by pirates.

With his distrust for his brothers and the army now, he could never bring himself to fully don his armor again. He mostly used the arm guard vambrances, shin guards, and occasionally the chassis. But old habits died hard, even the pieces of armor he didn’t use were kept in pristine condition.

The pistol labeled “ARC 5555 DC17, execution weapon” had been in the same box as his armor. If the files and his fractured memories were true, he had used that to kill the traitorous Jedi that killed his brothers.

He carried that everywhere, a reminder to himself to never value authority over morality. And a reminder that he could do what needed to be done.

Eventually he got in the the private security sector on the backwater planet he landed on.

And once comfortable, he got a shady medical clinic to remove his chip

The war came and went, the Empire eclipsed the Republic. If Dogma had a distaste for the Republic, he harbored hatred for the Empire.

He never officially joined the rebellion, but every now and then Rex would hear rumors of a rogue clone that sabotaged an Empire shipment or freed Imperial prisoners.

Eventually found a comfortable life hopping between the same four planets, he made friends he could trust and eventually learned to trust his own mind again. It took him awhile but eventually he forgave his brothers for letting what happened to him happen

It might have taken years but Dogma did find peace

#everybody lives au #Fives imagine #Fives x Reader #Dogma headcanons #clone trooper Dogma #dogma x reader #dogma imagine

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velvetyh · 2 years

Text

rant: please ignore this (TW!)

sometimes i wish life would get back to normal. like in 2019, when i was only stressed about my future. i was having such a great time in uni, i actually missed going every day in my favourite city with my favourite people, chinese was so fun to learn... my uni friends were so welcoming and nice with me, they were friendships like i've never had. ppl genuinely cared about each other, we truly were a group of good friends. the whole class. we were 25, and it always felt like i was hanging out with some friends.

but i was wrong, oh so wrong. they weren't friends, because everyone stopped messaging me when i left france for germany. it was already a heartbreaking leave and it didn't help, at all. i didn't have anyone; my parents were too busy, my brother was constantly partying and having fun with his friends, and i was alone.

then covid came. this fucking thing, i really wish everything would stop. idk if i want this pandemic to stop, if i want my life to stop, if i want my life to stop because of this pandemic, everything is so confusing and exhausting. every psychologist i went to said that my parents were putting too much pressure on my shoulders, where it's absolutely not the case, but they always keep saying that i shouldn't be defending them and try to talk abt it with them. but they're not the problem! my mom is the one that saved me from many suicidal thoughts when i was younger, and im still going for her. i couldn't even imagine the pain i'd bring her if i ever ended my days. but at the same time, i don't want to see her pass away. i don't think i'd ever be able to pick myself up. she sacrificed everything for me, my brother, everything. and i care about her so much that i know it's gonna tear me apart the day she will die.

also today I went to the doctor and I felt like a circus freak. bc of my medical condition, there are still dozens of doctors, surgeons, nurses and medical students that come to see me. i always want to cry when I have to remove my shirt to expose the scar I have on my upper body, because I can see their eyes lingering on it and it makes me so uncomfortable, but at the same time, they have to learn and understand how my body works. it's always super awkward and uncomfortable when you have men or male medical students that take notes on my condition and stare at my body, even if I still wear my bra, I feel so exposed and everybody is staring at me, I always have panic attacks when go see my doctor. he always explains what I have and I wanna tear out the pity that they have in their eyes once they know everything.

yeah... that's pretty much how I feel rn :') plus holiday season isn't helping me much right now, everyone is happy abt Christmas and stuff but I just wanna disappear under the fat layer of snow we have outside and reappear in the spring once the snow will have melted. I'm always sad, I'm always cold, I fucking hate it here

#i know it's a bad idea to open up about my personal life on here but oh well #too late #my feelings are so disgusting sometimes i wish i could pause my brain for a second

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pickingoutchinapatterns · 4 years

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So, I just found out you’re a nurse. Thank you. 🙏 What is happening for you at the moment?

Ok, so I’m a nurse and admittedly I’m angry and frustrated. This is gonna be a non-filtered rant (I may go into details about some points later). Also, before I get any shit bc I’m “just a nurse” (which happens), I’ll say that nursing is actually my third degree, my other 2 (undergrad and graduate) are also in the sciences. Ok, let the rant begin.

First, when this is over, we need to fund education. EVERYONE should have a basic knowledge of math and biology. Seriously, have some of you ppl never heard of exponential growth? Let’s say an organism in a petri dish replicates once a day. At the end of the first day, you’ll have 2, but at the end of the 14th day (I’m using that bc of the current “2 week isolation period” currently being advised right now), you don’t get 28 organisms in your dish (2x14), but 16,384 (2^14) organisms. The growth of this organism will only slow down once it starts running out of resources (which is why you get an S shaped growth curve).

WHY YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO WHAT PUBLIC HEALTH IS SAYING: This is similar to disease spread. If you infect one person, you’re literally making things exponentially worse. And guess what, if you self-isolate you are GETTING RID OF THE VIRUS’ RESOURCES. Viruses, unlike bacteria, cannot replicate on their own. THEY NEED YOU TO GROW. Plus, based on the data from the Japanese cruise ship, about half of those infected were ASYMPTOMATIC. This means that we don’t know how many ppl are infected but we literally have THOUSANDS of Typhoid Mary’s out there. Plus, given that it often takes about 2 weeks to develop symptoms of the virus, so even if everyone is at home on lockdown, we won’t see how bad it actually is NOW for at least 2 WEEKS FROM NOW.

STOP HOARDING AND STEALING MASKS AND PPE (personal protective equipement). Yes, ppl are literally stealing PPE from hospitals. JUST STAY THE FUCK HOME.

I know that a lot of ppl have the attitude of “oh, it’s mild for most ppl” or “it just kills the elderly.” First, “it just kills the elderly” is NOT true. The ppl it hits the hardest INCLUDE the elderly, but ALSO INCLUDES ppl with comorbidies like diabetes, cardiac conditions and high blood pressure (SOUND LIKE ANYONE YOU MIGHT FUCKING NOW???) and HEALTH CARE WORKERS. No one knows why front line health care workers are hit so hard (my hypothesis is bc we are exposed to higher viral loads, plus we work in a stressful, germ infested place AND we do shift work…not exactly the best combinations for a healthy immune system. Plus, many of us also suffer from comorbidities as well.) The health care system was stretched tightly enough before this pandemic (cancer, flu season, infectious diseases and drug epidemics), so imagine us dealing with a pandemic AND our regular workload AND being SUPER SHORT STAFFED (which many of us are already before this began). Italy has already announced a while ago that they’re just deciding that some ppl are not gonna get any treatment bc they HAVE NO MORE RESOURCES.

A note re the N95 (airborne) mask (these are not the basic surgical masks). Did you know that we have to get trained on how to use them? And then we have to do a test to make sure that each one of us is using the right brand and size? (That’s right, it’s not a one size fits all.) Plus, men have to shave before using one bc even a bit of stubble makes it ineffective? Now imagine HCP’s are out of N95 masks (used for AIRBORNE precautions like TB, measles and shingles; surgical masks are used for droplet precautions, like the flu). We still have ppl in hospitals with TB, measles and shingles…what if these spread too now that we don’t have N95 masks?

Also, please stop using anti-bacterial soap. First, COVID 19 is a virus, not a bacteria. We already have A LOT of antibiotic resistant bacteria out there. (Ex. MRSA, VRE, C-difficile, literally called difficile bc it’s so hard to treat and kill). Back when I was working in a microbiology lab, we were extra careful using vancomycin bc it was considered a last resort antibiotic and didn’t want to accidentally have bacteria develop and spread resistance to it. Now, I see vancomycin being used in hospitals daily. (VRE literally stands for Vancomycin-Resistant Enterococci.)

This pandemic is gonna hit every health care system hard worldwide. If we’re already full, how do you think we’ll handle you coming in needing emergency surgery? What about during the high smog warnings in summer and ppl come in with heat stroke or a severe asthma exacerbation? What if you’re going to deliver?

I am a nurse and I do what I can to help ppl out. I base my nursing practice on the fact that if I’m seeing you in hospital I’m likely seeing you during the worst time of your life. This job is a roller coaster, both physically and emotionally. I will say though, it is absolutely horrible treating ppl in respiratory distress. It’s like you’re watching someone suffocate and drown at the same time. You see the panic in their eyes and in their families as they try to get enough air. You do all that you can, and even if the intervention is successful, you still feel useless and shaken. It is HORRIBLE. Please, do all that you can to stop this spread and to keep yourself healthy so that my colleagues and I won’t see you anytime soon in any one of our facilities.

End of current rant.

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luvdsc · 3 years

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Hey Cat!! I hope you're doing well as always ! 💖 AHHHH huhu I closed the form last Sunday since I've collected enough responses dy! (NOOOOOOOO ToT) I got a total of 221 responses at the end of the week, which is 3x the amount I initially needed! :o I'm beyond grateful and appreciative ToT I've cleaned the data and have proceeded to run some data analysis, but I ran into an issue whereby the scores on the subscales are equal (it has never been reported in past studies! :O) so I'm waiting for my supervisor's feedback on how to proceed. Hopefully it's nothing too serious ToT

Hehe finance is interesting indeed! I just started reading a book on finance for young adults (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and I look forward to learning more from the author's tips! The Coursera introductory course has also made financial terms a lil more familiar, even though it's just the basics and it's really helped w my financial literacy 🥺 I can push myself to study but it's also the numbers and calculations I'm worried of cuz I am rly a nong (idiot) when it comes to numbers * - * it runs in the genes I guess AHAHAHAHA my mom and sister aren't good at numbers either keke

Aww I'm glad yr professor made financial accounting enjoyable and a fruitful experience for you! Some lecturers / professors rly just have that spark in them to inspire ppl and I'm blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of em in the psych department!🥺😭 it truly makes a difference and I'm sure we both are living proofs of that!

After debating for a while, I've decided not to take a minor mainly because I'm so tired HAHAHAHAHAHA and I'll just do my own self-studying and exploration whilst working! Go out and explore the world, live life! Whilst ironically still staying in my room because of the COVID-19 situation in our country (cases are abt 20+k every day :') ) My proposal has been finalized and it's been accepted! It's just that some elements of my proposal is also part of my actual report, so I have some guidance to refer to in terms of structure! :3 and yes don't worry! I got plenty (sometimes a lil too much) rest during the sem break whilst remaining productive! Plus, I got to catch up w some friends and had game nights (maybe too much of game nights hehe) and movie nights w my friends which was truly refreshing! Also cuz I might not see a lot of them again after we graduate so we gotta cherish every moment 🥺😭

I'm a freelance graphic designer for my uni's newsletter! Occasionally, they'd ask us to create both the content and design! I'll place the link to my recent work below if you wanna check it out! UwU I'm trying to incorporate the same practices during sem break in my last sem (current sem) too! cuz yes mental health is so so important and I'm just tired of being academically tired you get me? :(

What makes me most trilled abt learning abt psychology is how to apply it in daily life too! I find it so fascinating and awestruck at how relatable and within reach these things are like wow we can be influenced in such ways?? :o can be both good and bad but imma stick w seeing it as the development and evolution of us humans UwU

Also, the vaccine has fixed my sleep schedule HEHE (another perk of getting vaccination :3) I got some rly good rest and managed to reset my usual sleeping time, thank you science ToT oooo I see I see, we've had cases of nurses injecting empty syringes hence the recording :( but GHIOGHWEOGIOHW I could never do that, I can feel the liquid entering me as it is so that's good enough ToT (* plays Love Talk * I can feel it coming)

OMG YOUR ART PIECES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE AND ELEGANT! 💖🥺🥰 it must've required a lot of hard-work and effort AHHH thankiew for showing me yr work!! it's truly unique in its own manner despite it's simplicity UwU is there a reason or backstory to yr chosen theme and objects? :3

I just Googled Somi Somi and omg that's such an UwU ice cream AHHHH 💖🥺😭 ice cream is my fav food of all time and it looks like an ice cream haven omg imagine eating it after a loooong hard day's of work ToT and OMG THE SATISFACTION OF EATING THAI MILK TEA ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY YASSS 😋🤤 hehe if you get the chance to try milk & biscoff, do try it! It's amazing !😍 and ooo i haven't tried alcoholic ice cream before but I will one day!! :3 my alcohol tolerance is rly low though, will I get tipsy over alcoholic ice cream? We shall see UwU (i can only drink half a bottle of apple cider before my face gets red and I start getting a lil tipsy + headache)

and lovie....knowing yr school schedule now...OURS IS DEFINTELY BRUTAL OMG a 3 month long sem break huhu that's only the total amount of sem breaks we get in a year ToT i thought uni was hard but not that hard ToT

Always glad and honored to have you onboard! and AHAHAHAH the contractions about to start soon 👀 I enjoy talking to you huhu you're such a sweet and supportive person 💖🥺🥰😙 huhu for my period cramps, I've been having them since I was 12 ToT my doctor prescribed me some panadols but sometimes I can't even swallow them cuz I'd puke them out ToT I've settled w heatpacks to reduce my reliance on medicine, but I finally got some upgraded and safe to eat medicine from my gynae! She said it's fine to take it every month to keep my womb healthy and apparently my ms. lil uterus is suffering from inflammation, hence the super crazy bedridden cramps :( the upgraded medicine worked for a while, but after time it kinda didn't help either :/ but I realised that exercise rly does wonders to reduce the cramp too (gynae also recommended exercising) so i take walks and do my back stretches more frequently now! my period in the previous months (2 months ago) have been almost painless and bearable, it's so weird not seeing my bedridden ._. when I was in high school, there would always be a day in every month in which I don't attend classes, and that's solely because of my cramps. It just isn't worth suffering in school, plus we don't have a sick room :/ I hope the pain continues to subside! ToT

And ayy internship is also working experience, yr advice would be of great help to me regardless! 🥺 oh yes, I always remind myself that interviews are similar to the speaking test I took for my Cambridge English exams! That kinda help calm my nerves down a lil, but w nerves comes bigger smiles, so I guess it takes on a rather practical form of coping mechanism (sublimation) AHAHAHAHA

WAAAA WHAT A QUEEN you got an offer from every interview?? I aspire to be like you! 💖🥺🥰 huhu skill wise I believe I have lots to prepare esp in terms of case studies, and I perform rly poorly on certain assessments (*ehem * esp those concerning numbers) so I took the chance to study a lil during sem break too ToT but noted on that! I will work on that too and try to maintain that me element in interviews and overall just be myself keke

That's all from me for now! Imma wait for my supervisor's feedback and journey on w my last semester. Bon voyage! Link to my recent work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBqGzjr6sN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Other works: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPpv-IyM7Gi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CL55EG-MbL2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

hi hello honey bee !!! 💓 omg i'm so sorry for the belated response, i finally got on my laptop 😭 i'm gonna put my response under the cut since it got a little long 🤧

omg 221 responses !!!!! that's so many 🙀 congratulations aaaaa it's amazing that you were able to get 3x the data you needed !!! was it difficult to run data analysis? were you able to solve the issue with the equal scores on the subscales? i hope it didn't create too much additional work for you ):

omg yes finance is really interesting! i enjoyed the classes i took for it :') how is rich dad poor dad? did you learn a lot from it? i know it was a book my prof recommended, but i never got around to reading it 😶 did you learn any helpful tips? and ooo i'll have to look into coursera! yeah, there's quite a lot of terms for finance, and it can be a little intimidating paired with all the math formulas and such, but it's pretty useful imo! how are your financial studies going so far? 💕 omg nong is such a cute word?? i would never think it meant idiot asdkfhlkajsdf omg my whole family is good at numbers and really like math, but i didn't like it 😭 my mom made me study it a lot everyday though rip are the financial calculations getting easier for you as you practice more hopefully?

yessss omg i absolutely agree with this!!!! like you can just feel when a professor loves to teach and is genuinely so excited to talk about their subject, and it just makes the most boring horrible subject into something you learn to enjoy and hate less :') and i'm really happy to hear you have tons of professors like that in the psych department 🥺💗

that's great to hear!!!! 🌷🌷 i'm glad that you're prioritizing yourself and your health, which is so much more important than taking on a minor. what fun subjects have you decided to explore and self study so far? 💞 oh my gosh, the rising cases are so high?? i hope it's gotten better there for you ): are you able to go outside yet?

big congratulations on your proposal being finalized and accepted, lovebug !!!! 🥳🥳 i'm very proud of you and hoping one day i can read your published studies in a scientific journal :') aaaa i'm so glad to hear that you got to rest and enjoy your time with your friends!! i definitely feel that omg i regret all the times i skipped out on movie nights or game nights with my friends because now we're all scattered across the country and the only way we can have them again is over zoom calls 🤧

I SAW YOUR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE GORGEOUS OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!!! 💖 I'M IN AWE AAAA IF PSYCH DOESN'T WORK OUT, I HOPE YOU BECOME A GRAPHIC DESIGNER 🤩🤩💖 and yes i totally get it ): i really felt the academic burn out when i was in college and it was really difficult at times 🤧 but i hope it's going better for you nowadays, sweetpea 💝💝

omg yeah i absolutely agree !!!! whenever i read about psychology, i keep it in the back of my mind and then when i see something irl that relates to it, i'm like :O amazing. it's so cool to learn about different psych tricks too and see how it works when you test them out yourself and whatnot. and it's really crazy to see how the human brain is so easily influenced at times ??? it truly is an amazing subject !!!

ah what a great side benefit of the vaccine - a better sleep schedule 🤩 i'm happy to hear that your schedule has been fixed 💘 and omg what ??? they're injecting empty syringes wth ????? 😭 that's absolutely horrible, are they getting sued?? lmaooooo that love talk reference askdfhlaksjd

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS 😭😭💗💗 there were many late hours spent in the art studio to finish them, but i'm really happy with the end products :') i thought light bulbs are an interesting subject to do, and my prof said that cutting out circular objects or sculpting them is the most difficult since they're made up curves and not straight lines and i was like ok bet i'm gonna do it aND I'M SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THEM 🥺 and i love honey bees !!! that's why i decided to paint them and we were supposed to paint them in a combined style of two artists so i tried monet's impressionist style with the short brush strokes and pop art triptych style like marjorie strider 💕

somi somi is sooo good and i just had it again a couple weeks ago :') omg ice cream is your favorite food? :o and YES ice cream is so satisfying after a long day of hard work, like it's such a nice reward to look forward to at the end of day ✨ aaaaa i have to try thai milk tea ice cream one day now !!!!! it sounds amazing 🤩 and YES i must look for places that sell milk & biscoff ice cream !! i have milk ice cream from somi somi, but i need to try to combined flavors 💘 i don't think you'll get tipsy over it !!! it's a really faint taste of alcohol, like i didn't even notice it at first, and i don't think they put very much of it in there! aksljdfhals omg you're a lightweight :o at least that means you save money on alcohol LOL i need like nine shots to get drunk 🤧

your school is too hard 😭 you need more than just 3 months of break !!! 😡 we get a week off for thanksgiving in fall semester and a week off for spring break in spring semester too and then the month long winter break and three month summer break. and we have the one day holidays off too like labor day, memorial day, etc. i can't believe they give you so little time off after working so hard???

asdfhlkajshdlksja loool are the contractions over yet? has it been born? what's the current status, doctor? 👀 i really enjoy talking to you too !!! i'm very sorry for the late responses, work is really taking over all of my time, and i never have enough time to get on my laptop to reply to my asks 😭 and thank you for saying such kind things about me 🥺🥺💝 oh my gosh, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such terrible cramps 😭 i can't even imagine going through that - mine are nowhere near as horrible 😖 do the heatpads help a lot? i'm relieved to hear that you were prescribed better medication though! but yeah, your body does eventually get used to the medication and you have to continue taking stronger meds for it to work, but that's not a very healthy solution /: but i'm really glad to hear that exercise has been helping out a lot!! 💖 hurray for almost painless and bearable periods 🥳 i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that in high school ): that sounds absolutely horrible 😭 periods are just awful, but it's like i'm grateful that i have my period because that means i'm not pregnant, but also please go away aslkhdfaklsj

omg what was the speaking test for the cambridge english exams like? :o it sounds so formal and a lil intimidating askdjfhalsd do you know of any psych tricks that can possibly help calm your nerves? :')

aaaa yes i did !! i was really surprised that i got an offer from them all because at the time, i was not in the right major and i think i was one of the most underqualified applicants 🤧 one person who interviewed me asked why i withdrew from my engr physics class and i explained it in a kinda funny way but in my head, i was like "oof i'm not gonna get this offer anymore" but then he laughed at my response and told me about how his prof told him he should drop a guitar class he was taking because he was doing very poorly and we bonded over that aklsjdhfkals omg how do interviews for psych jobs go? do you have to discuss a lot of case studies? do they give you a list of possible case studies they'll ask about? :o what sort of assessments do you have to do? good luck on all of your interviews, honey bee 💛 i'm rooting for you, you're gonna do amazing !!!! 💘

omg what did your supervisor say about your case study? and how is your last semester going? are you almost done now? 🌸 (also how have you been? what have you been up to? thank you for taking the time to leave such detailed messages for me, i'm really excited to see all the fun updates in your life, lovebug 🌷🌷)

#asks #jaeismytamtation

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rebelwith0utacause · 3 years

Text

thanks for tagging me @pxrxmoore ^^ This looks cool!

feel free to answer all of them or just some of them or just ignore this all together, whatever you’re comfortable with, and then tag however many people you want!

1. what was your first encounter with fanfiction?

I think the first time I ever came across fanfiction had to be either with Paramore + other VWT bands (ATL, BVB, The Maine) on Buzznet or with Avenged Sevenfold on Wattpad. I’m leaning towards the latter because I was reading stuff on Wattpad since 2007-8 and I listened to A7X more (plus I stopped reading/listening to new A7X stuff when Jimmy died in 2009/2010 which is also around the time I became active on Buzznet). Idk, it’s been so long and that entire era of my life is extremely blurry.

2. your favourite creation of your own of all time if you create stuff (feel free to link it)?

I once made a 10 ft macrame half hitch spiral braid out of wool. Basically just braided and braided until I no longer had wool (I might have added a bit more). I think I wore it 2-3 times as a belt, but it didn’t matter. It was something cool I could do and no one knew about it.

3. what vibe are you going for with your home decor (or what vibe do you wanna go for one day, if you don’t have your own place atm)?

Don’t have my own place atm, but def something IKEA-ish, mainly whites and/or that greyish kinda light wood. I just like stuff that look pure and clean and would let my plants be the highlight. I’m thinking green minimal with lots of DIY furniture and white linens.

4. first fandom you ever joined? what was it like? on what platform did it happen?

Tbh, I feel like nothing compares to my 5sos phase so I’m gonna say 5sos. I’ve definitely been in others too (A7X, ATL, Paramore, Marvel/Tom Hiddleston, James McAvoy) but I’ve never been so immersed. Same goes for my metal bands, probably because most of them were either dead or disbanded by the time I started listening to them actively.

5. what are your sun, moon and rising signs, and do you think they make sense in relation to how you know yourself?

I’m a Gemini-Cancer cusp sun, Pisces moon and Taurus ascendant and tbh I didn’t believe in this shit very much. But the more I started reading up, the more it clicked and made sense. I feel like I’m little bits of all, the good, the bad and the ugly but there are also sides of me that you see, sides I allow you to see and sides I keep hidden very deep inside my psyche that even I hardly see them and it just makes fkn sense.

6. if you write and/or read fiction (original or fanfiction), do the tropes/plots/character types you typically seek out to read and/or write about reflect something about you as a being or how you see the world?

I don’t necessarily think they do, but they might. I’m pretty sure I have a “nurse” syndrome irl so to counteract that need to help others I read fiction where others are helped (because probably deep down underneath all of that fixing I’m doing, I need someone to fix me). And by fictive fixing I mean all kinds of fixing whether it be actual wounds or psychological healing or even socialization and sex, it doesn’t matter, I’ll read it all. I’m also a very analytical person so I love doing a psych evaluation to both the characters and the writers.

7. what is the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far in life?

There have been many and I always see the level of impact they had on me after I’ve overcome them completely and taken a few years to just dissect what happened. So I don’t know if these are the hardest but the most pivotal in my life so far have been learning how to overcome my fear of vehicles while battling depression at the same time, as well as learning how to stop feeling like I didn’t do enough to prevent someone else’s suicide.

8. what is your all time favourite song(s)?

This is really hard because I listen to too much music tbh, but let me see:

- Milice by Foltin, it’s a song in Macedonian about a girl called Milica and this guy is reminiscing about the beginning of their love, it’s just such a chill fusion song.

- Youngblood by 5sos, it basically sends me into another dimension where I feel the hurt, anger and disappointment he’s feeling as well as the helplessness of knowing you’d probably never get over this person. Yeah, his voice has that much power over me.

- Face of Melinda by Opeth, this is a part of a concept album and while the backstory is pretty dark, the melody is so soft and serene and temperamental and violent at times, I just love it so fkn much.

- Nobody’s Wife by Anouk because we all have those badass bitch songs and mine happens to be this gem, followed by You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette.

- Outlines by All Time Low, idk what’s the deal with this song but it came out during the time when I was young but felt very old and I just couldn’t find my place in the world so I replayed the shit out of it and it somehow helped me heal.

9. what do you look for in a person you wanna keep in your life, be it a friend or a romantic partner or anything in between?

I kinda don’t look for anything in particular I just look for traits that would piss me off and say buh-bye to those people from the get go. Like... I need ppl to be politically aware and vocal, but not politically blinded, I need them to be eco-conscious and I need them to hate capitalism as much as I do. I need them to be modern thinkers but not to a point where they believe and stand for every fad coming from Western civilization. Basically someone grounded and being able to evaluate the situation without being constantly swayed by others’ opinions. Some might call it stubborn, but I really think that globalization has made us lose the good side of our ego. The part that makes us stand for something we truly believe in and not just be another sheep in the herd.

10. this is a bit of a difficult one, but have you ever had a moment of clarity, a conversation with someone that made you go “oh!”, or anything along those lines?

It’s happened a few times, but I’m really self-reflective so those things are to be expected of me. The last one I remember was around March last year and I was in group grief therapy and the psychiatrist was basically talking about how to deal with grief and suicide prevention and how talking helps and we talked about dreams and overall health and such and during those conversations he talked about PTSD and what helps to alleviate the symptoms and get over it and my EUREKA! moment came when I realized I’ve been healing my PTSD unknowingly on my own for the past 5 years. Basically that was such a great experience and it put so many things in perspective for me. I mean I come from a society where all things mental health are brushed under the carpet as if they don’t exist. And I’m definitely not the type of person to label shit and feel helpless because I can’t fix it. If anything, I’d def get angry and try to fix it myself because I hate being in limbo. And hearing someone voice my thoughts and fears and tell me that I’ve been doing great was just... Idk, felt like a pat on the back and a tight hug at the same time.

tagging @karajaynetoday @krindy33 @twilightmomentswithyou @tigerteeff @myloverboyash @talkfastromance4 @notinthesameguey @ashtonlftv if you want to do this or haven’t done this before :*

#i am: a long-winded bitch

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1-800-selfship · 4 years

Text

So....i wanted to do a haikyuu ship but I saw you wanted some food for your gay heart sooooo

YAICHI × IRIS

- yall....i genuinely think that this ship is better than uraraka × iris 😳

-but yall didnt hear that from me 💀

- ok so i can see you being the younger siblings to tanaka 👀......

- plus you play volleyball (only during the summer tho 😤)

- so I think its only natural that you go to all the games and practices 🥺

- your basically an honorary manager but not really?

.........yeah, your an honorary manager 😋

- you see that the 3rd years are getting ready to leave.....

- and you also see that kiyoko is trying to find a manager

- i wish i could say this is definitely what you would do but.....for the sake of the flow.....

- you can't be the official team manager....

- you feel bad and lowkey are about to just say f*ck it and say you'll be the manager 😔

- i mean yeah it might make things on your life a little harder :( but if its for the sake of the team then-

- oh....

- yall found a manager......

- *phew* 😩

- i feel like youd lowkey be sad you couldn't be the manager but your relief overpowers the disappointment 😌

- ngl i feel like youd be a lil apprehensive cus you want the best for the team ya know?

- *let's be real you and suga are the team moms ok?*

- but as soon as you meet yaichi....👀

- all that apprehension goes away

- you can just tell that you can trust her and that she has no ill intentions 🥺

- plus you thought she was kinda cute-

- wait are you drooling?-

- UNIMPORTANT *tanaka definitely noticed and 👀....*

- wink wonk 👁👄 -

- anyway let's fast forward to the Tokyo training camp pls 😩

- let's say that as time went on.....

- you really just became a lady simp 😩😍

-😍 you just liked the 😍way yaichi was smart😍 but still a lil ditzy,😍 how she cared😍 for the team and😍 always being there 😍for them despite her 😍being scared of them😍-

- you were in way to deep 😔🖐

- never fear babes 😋 the feeling isn't one sided 😋

- let's be honest with ourselves....

- yaichis a raging bottom with a mommy kink too

- she immediately noticed how motherly you are...

- and you can't convince me that you wouldn't tease your s/o or crush 💀

- she immediately just begins thinking about how she wants you to call her pet names and tease her....and look after her....and hold her....and make her call you mommy-

- ANYWHO

- your height helps!

- your like 4' 5" right?

- we all know how yaichi is scared of tall people so the fact that your shorter than her just makes the poor babe feel safe 🥺

- during the Tokyo training camp yall get to start hanging out together 🥺

- *for the sake of the story line let's just pretend the poor babe gets hit with a volleyball*

- you are immediately helping 😭

- you kinda death glare at the stupid idiot that hit her💀

- *I will forever think that you're the type of person to hold peoples faces in your *ahem* tibbies 😭*

- so poor babe just feels even more faint cus your holding her to your chest and sorta just stroking her hair to calm her down :')

- ......she ends up fainting and you have to take her to the nurse 🥴💀

- long story short yall get together 😌

- ...........tanaka may or may not have been the one to hit the ball👀

- so everything's basically the same

- you still tease her 😏

- you hold her and you help her study!

- well.....you sorta just hold her while she studies 😭

- yall stay together through highschool and college

- i feel like yall would take a little break

- but yall were miserable :(

- yall get back together and your relationship is stronger than ever! <3

....* I tried, take pity on me😭*

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I'm scared of how accurate you hc me, like- THE FACT THAT I DO HOLD PPL TO MY TIDDIES IRL IS 😭😳🤭

jahejeje, but like 👀👀👀ngl, the fact that I'mma bout to make this cannon is🥺🤭👀

CANNON

The stamp of cannon has been placed.

#self ship community #self insert #self ship #Yachi x Iris #ask #submission

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trunaturalista · 5 years

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Costa Rica: The Solo Traveler.

I have received so many DM’s and texts regarding my trip and I wanted to share a few answers. Please reach out if there is something I did not address.

Did you use a travel agency for your Costa Rica trip?

Absolutely not. The only time I’ve used an agency was when I went to Dubai and that was only because I was traveling to the Middle East. I planned this entire trip myself. I found a great treehouse to stay in with wonderful owners that made the entire process seamless and meaningful. Google.com. Booking.com. Search for exactly what you want.

Did you stay on a resort?

Nope! I stayed in a treehouse/villa apartment vibe. It was gated, but anyone could honestly access if it really was that deep. This was one of the most amazing places I’ve stayed. I met all of the owners and they ensured I was happy, safe, each and every day. If you are afraid of bugs, lizards, monkeys, snakes, well the wilderness, do not do it to yourself. You will not make it, lol.

What made you select Costa Rica for your first solo travel trip?

It’s literally one of the top places for female solo travelers. Literally….do your research on every country, city, village you want to travel to and read articles. Check stats. Research crime. Costa Rica has always been on my very long bucket list and it seemed kind of perfect.

It is rainy reason, but I believe this season really gave me an opportunity to relax, release and think. It rained a lot at night and that is when I wrote, read, and meditated the most.

I really wanted to stay in a village to get the true experience although…many thought this was beyond dangerous. Most did not speak English at all and you have to be prepared for this. I loved hearing about the history of the village from the locals.

Costa Rica is the safest country in Central America…:)

This trip allowed me to travel on a small plane. I had to fly into San Jose and then take a domestic flight from San Jose to Tambor. From Tambor, my taxi ride was 45 mins to the village and to my treehouse. It was a lot of travel, but it was exactly the experience I wanted.

Were you scared? Did you feel unsafe?

I absolutely was scared…who would not be? I am always a little anxious before traveling to a new place, but it’s not a bad feeling – it’s like a rush, really. Like wow, I’m really doing this! When I arrived at the village and even when I landed in San Jose…there is not one moment when I felt unsafe. Everyone was warm, welcoming, and willing to give me information if I had a question about something. When I was out on my Quad and it had issues reversing and switching gears, someone was always willing to help. Even if they did not speak English, they still wanted to make sure I was good. Never felt like I was going to be snatched or sold into sex trafficking as so many people chimed in my inbox.

Why solo travel?

I’ve learned that people are extremely disappointing and will bail on you at any minute when it comes to travel. I told myself that when I turned thirty, I would embark on this solo travel journey for a number of reasons:

The trip was about me! I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted, hell I sat around naked for hours doing absolutely nothing but thinking about how blessed I was. My daughter. Future plans. My friendships. Relationship. Everything.

I was 100000% selfish. I spent money money! Bought what I wanted. I ate what the fuck I wanted. When I wanted, woke up when I wanted, drank when I damn well pleased andddddd was just naked as hell in the rainforest. I called the damn shots.

Man, I was able to recharge. Lowkey, but highkey, if you know me, I’ve been through a lot of shit the last year. Relocating twice. Job switches. Adjusting for both myself and my beautiful child. I’ve lost and gained friends. This trip gave me the space to recharge my mental, physical and emotional being. It was so necessary.

I love vulnerability. Like, solo travel is the ultimate way to put yourself in a vulnerable situation. Listen, I’ve moved to two places with/out any family or friends in sight – that is vulnerability. But, traveling to a foreign country solo is another level. It’s scary, but it’s a cool ass vibe man. With this….you can accomplish anything.

I needed and wanted to create a space to heal. That is all I can really say on that.

I needed to find myself again. I get lost, found, lost, found. It’s nice. Meaningful. You literally have nothing but time to think about any and everything. It’s quiet.

Solo travel is super empowering. It’s only lonely when you decide not to go out and meet, talk to and explore, honestly.

What did your family and friends say?

Loaded question!

Listen, my mom was excited but worried as any mom should be. My dad was on some ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT ‘ASHA and probably didn’t sleep the entire time I was gone. My sisters were all for it and encouraging. My closest friends were super happy for me. My man-panion was worried, but also excited because he’s traveled solo abroad as well. So many folks in my messages with envious messages and words of encouragement. Felt great. But, there were a lot of ppl in my inbox spewing negativity. “You are crazy” “You can be sex trafficked” “It’s stupid to travel alone” “what about Zarah” “you wilding” blah blah blah etc etc etc. Thank God I am in a much better space now, otherwise I might have reacted negatively. I chalk it up as projection (clearly they do not have the vagina to live life out loud) and keep it pushing. And thank Allah that I have a hefty life insurance policy.

How much was your trip?

Stay out of my pockets, playa, lol.

What tips do you have for female solo travelers in Costa Rica?

Research the city/village you plan to stay in. How do they dress? What is around? Are there things to do? Is crime heavy? Try to dress the part. The less you look like a tourist, the better. Bring boots or some sort of heavy duty shoe. Cover up!

Walk fast. Yo, keep it pushing. Get to where you are going to get, period. Google maps!

Keep cash in multiple places just in case you are robbed. Let’s be honest…crime happens everywhere and if you look like a tourist, you are in a vulnerable position. Keep cash in your bra, you backpack, your shoe, your pockets. If you are unfortunately robbed, they won’t get to all of those places. I cannot express this enough!

Do not be afraid to speak to strangers. You honestly do not have a choice. I mean, you could sit around and simply not socialize with anyone, but that really is no fun. This trip gave me an opportunity to put myself out there and talk to people in my broken Spanish ways, lol. I was forced to make friends. When I went to yoga, I met three people from Washington D.C all of which were female and in Costa Rica alone – it felt great. Had I not opened my mouth, I would have never met those travelers.

Solo travel means you are not splitting the cost of anything with anyone – it can be costly. Save up for solo trips and accept that you are going to have to drop some bread to enjoy yourself, depending on what you want to do. Luckily, $1 USD = $568.26 colones so I pretty much balled out in that village, lol. Food was cheap. A whole meal could be about 3000 colones, which is only $5.00 in USD. And by whole meal, I mean a whole Red Lobster meal for $20.00. Like, I’m not kidding.

Alcohol – Well, due to recent “deaths” due to Costa Rican alcohol, I was definitely on super high alert. I brought my own American shots to Costa Rica and visited the village market for wine. I only purchased wines that I knew were sold in America and that were not made in Costa Rica as a precaution. I did not drink at any of the bars in Costa Rica when I was out to eat because I had everything I needed at my treehouse. It made sense. Always be safe. I was not too alarmed by the number of deaths considering the millions of people that travel in and out of Costa Rica daily, but still.

Please pack bug spray and sunblock. Listen, the bugs are looking for blood and Costa Rica is way down by the equator. The HEAT HITS DIFFERENT OK. Protect your skin at all times! Plus, there are a lot of questionable bugs that I know bit me, lol.

What were your struggles?

I worry a lot. I’ve always been a worrier as my mom says. When I could learn what it meant to worry, I started lol. I worried about so many things, but I didn’t let it overcome me.

The village was intimidating – at first. But, once I got out there and drove around, I was cool.

My ATV/Quad had major struggles, lol. The first night I went out for dinner at this place called Koji’s and I couldn’t get the damn thing to start or reverse. A man saw me struggling and started walking my way. I’m thinking….OH GOD, it’s over for me, lol. But, he came over and got me on my way. I was grateful and he….was harmless.

I am not super friendly, but I’m not mean. I struggled with walking up to strangers and asking questions. But, I did it. It was awesome and I met some amazing people!

Interesting thing happened:

On my flight from the United States to San Jose….there was a mother and her small child, maybe 6 or 7 months old, traveling to Costa Rica alone. She happened to be walking by my seat on the plane and started to have a seizure out of nowhere. The flight attendants were asking who could hold the baby and no one wanted to hold the baby.

This was happening right next to me.

There was a doctor and two nurses on the flight and they confirmed that she was having a seizure and that we had to let it pass. Mind you, this baby was screaming bloody murder and needed a damn diaper change. Finally, she wakes up and explains that she has never has seizures before and she seemed fine as she grabbed her baby. No less than twenty minutes later, she starts having another seizure and we embark on an emergency landing into San Jose. As for anyone….this gave me major anxiety. I started to think…what will happen to me if I have a seizure? I have no one around. Nobody knows my health history. Anxiety began to really whoop my ass due to this horrible event. I was able to breathe, push through, etc. Prayer, meditation, faith in God, really.

Summary?

This trip taught me that there is nothing to fear but God. And (as my friend says) that the world is big and you are safe in it. I feel like a new person. I feel refreshed. Renewed. Free. I feel like a got damn beast. I feel strong. Empowered. Powerful. I feel invigorated. I feel sanctified, damn I feel liberated. Ugh. Go for it. Travel solo. I cannot wait to book my next destination and share it with you all.

#solotravel #travelguide #femaletravel #blackwomen #blogger #vlogger #writers on tumblr #poetry #poems #writers #costarica

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writingsoftheunderworld · 6 years

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Footnotes of Life

Well here we are, first post. Hopefully ppl will like this.

Short reminder if you’re curious about Dana go check out her bio here - desktop only or here - mobile users . For more world building check it out here - desktop only or here - mobile users.

BTW, I take requests! Check out the RULES here - desktop only or here - mobile users before asking for stuff.

Now this story is gonna be a roller-coaster of emotions with DamonXDana, hope you enjoy.

THE BEGINNING

Mystic Falls was such an interesting place in that Dana hates everything about it. She knows a lot about it too, is the problem and the reason the old bats that make up the Elder’s council sent her here. The past three times she’s been here. And now again. If she never heard of this town after this assignment it would be too soon.

Thankfully she had leverage, built upon since the 1800s when she’d first arrived here looking for one Katherine Pierce who’d caused problems for the Clan. Now she’d been sent back following the rumours of a new doppelganger having popped up. Elena Gilbert, 17 years old. Pretty tragic back story for someone that young, even in Dana’s experience. But it did give her a bit of an idea as to what she should do. The Founder’s Ball was coming up and she had extensive training in dancing. Plus blackmail. Pretty persuasive blackmail. It would all work out.

Seeing the Lockwood estate through the taxi’s windows she drew in a deep breath and took out some cash to pay the driver. Here she went again. Not like she had better stuff to do at home. A month old little girl, a sad, closed off ex husband, the nicest asshole she ever met for a best friend and co-parent. Yes, her life was free, the council knew best after all. A broken heart to nurse and a surprise pregnancy notwithstanding.

She rounded the car, popping open the trunk and lifting her luggage. She set it down next to her and waited until the taxi took off. And where the shit was she supposed to be living in this hell-hole? She sighed for the millionth time since having heard about this mission and jumped when her phone dinged. Reo again. His hair was longer than when he’d been a teen, back when they first started really talking, styled to the side, same weird hairstyle choices as ever. He was holding their daughter in his arm, smiling down at her as the baby blew a bubble, the picture having been taken at just the right moment. Why was she here? When she could be there, with her daughter and her best friend?

Grumbling under her breath Dana turned and pulled at the handle of the luggage, heading for the house. The big anti-vamp meeting was about to begin she knew.

“What the FUCK, dude?!” the luggage had fallen, Dana on top of it, her back on its edge. Great, not her back hurt too, not just her head. She turned toward the cause of her fall, a man – brunet, ice blue eyes, not very tall – smirked mockingly down at her.

“You should watch where you’re going, lady!” he said, tone scanting, eyes colder than their color. Dana recognized Damon Salvatore immediately. And hated his guts just as fast.

“You arrogant little shit!” She yelled, pushing up on her feet, trying to ignore the protest her knees sent her way, picking up her phone and luggage. Thankfully nothing was broken, except her patience.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” he smirked at her. It was threatening, the tone, the look. But he was messing with the wrong person.

“Oh really, douchebag?” she got up right in his face, green eyes filled with rage. She could deal with the council if she killed him slowly, she thought as she saw him smile as if amused. The man was so conceited that it actually hurt her brain.

“Dana! Damon! So good that you’ve met each other!” Saved by Carol Lockwood. Well played Mystic Falls, well played.

“You know her, Mrs. Lockwood?” Damon was all charm, but underneath Dana felt the murderous rage. Good, she’s have fun winding him up and seeing him pop a blood vessel or two – like his heart.

“Yes! Come, the meeting just began. I’ll explain everything there.” Carol sent Dana a look that begged her not to kill Damon. Well, Carol at least knew who she was talking with, or what. Too bad Damon was never gonna find out, not even after Dana was done staking his little girlfriend in the ass.

MOVING IN TOGETHER

“You know you could just let me do that right?” she cocked an eyebrow and smiled sweetly, too sweet. Damon scowled back and just shifted the weight of the boxes in his grip.

“Oh I’m sorry madam spider, I didn’t know you’d arrived!”

Dana laughed, yelped and then leaned the tiny mountain of bags against the side of the building. She took two seconds to just breathe, work up her courage to go up the flights of stairs. She watched as Damon sped up to the main hallway and almost dropped her bags a second time laughing when he had to stumble to a stop because his boxes were falling over.

“Maybe you should tie them down?”

“Maybe I should tie you down instead?” he quipped, not even trying to look at her. Once he had them back in his grip, he resumed his trek down the hallway to the main staircase, all the while cursing the fact that the electricity hadn’t been patched up yet. He definitely would kill for an elevator right about now. Dana watched him go, mourning her arms already. Going up three flights of stairs had her panting, more so than if she had sped through the island from one end to the other and she was happy to see Damon must have felt the same way as he had just dropped the boxes onto the loveseat and then collapsed onto the bed. His feet were hanging out, one leg swaying to some imaginary rhythm in his head. She smiled and stepped inside, kicking the door behind her to squeeze through the bags, but not enough to close it. She lay them gently at the foot of the loveseat and then turned back. She stepped between Damon’s legs and waited for him to either look at her or say something. Luckily he didn’t disappoint.

“I refuse to do anything, but sit here, no matter how seductive you look at me, babe.” The soft look she’d had on gave way to a tiny amused snort before she bent a leg onto the bed and swung herself onto Damon’s other side. She only scooted a little bit so she could touch the side of her face to his hair.

“Trust me, anyone calls for me right now and they’ll meet a short and painful death.” she said, paused then seemed to think better as she amended. “If I get up at all.” Closing her eyes, she missed Damon nodding his head in emphatic agreement, but she did sneak her hand around his, lacing their fingers. “Think we can just sleep?” she added, voice already slurring in exhaustion.

“Probably. It is our island.” he mumbled back, hooking his heel to the bed frame and lifting himself up a bit more comfortably. Dana whined at the disturbance, glared, then immediately resettled, her head now rested on his ribs. She sighed, content to just fall asleep when Damon’s pocket began buzzing and ringing. With an over exaggerated groan she lay back on her back, staring at their newly painted ceiling and questioning how she’d gotten here, a 26 hour awake, just got out alive person while her boyfriend was confirming that, yes we did in fact forget to bring any sheets for the bed Bon. Dana smiled to herself. She was pretty sure she wouldn’t change anything about it even if she had the chance.

“Come on, tell Bonnie to go out dancing and let’s sleep forever!”

“Bye, Bonster! Go and get some and let me sleep.” Damon’s hand had fallen, the phone no longer in his grasp, just sitting face up, shining with a picture of Bonnie in a Santa hat glaring playfully. Bonnie for her part didn’t wait for anything more, aware better than anyone just how exhausted both vampire were and Dana couldn’t help but wonder how Bonnie herself wasn’t just a tired version of a zombie like she felt and Damon looked just about now. She shrugged at her own question, her shoulder jostling Damon who’d already snoozed off. He turned bleary eyes to her, questioning.

“Phone.” was all that needed saying. In seconds Damon was asleep again, his phone still between them. Dana questioned if she should just be the bigger man here and actually put the phone on a table or something, if maybe she should take either of their shoes off, but ultimately lost the fight with awareness about halfway through the first question.

A DAY IN THE FAMILY LIFE

A loud bang resonated throughout the house, startling Dana and causing baby Seth to fuss in her arms where the two of them had been reading. Dana had decided to spend some time with her babies today, finally having found a moment of respite after long months of fighting and worry and heartache. She and Damon were slowly getting back to the ease with which they’d gotten used to those first six months of being together, after the year-long separation, and both were grateful for the short peace that had enveloped their livelihood.

“Damon!? What was that?” she slowly got up, cradling her nearly one year old baby in her arms, gazing softly at her baby girl asleep in her crib. She lowered Seth beside his sister, raising the railing separating the two in order for their sleep to go without a hitch and turned on the baby monitor both in the room and that she always carried with her and left. She rounded a corner, a long stretch of hallway before her, nothing out of the ordinary about it, except for how empty and quiet it was – everyone had been so sweet to give them these few weeks to get reacquainted – and called out for her husband again.

“D? Baby? You there?” she felt her anger rising, hating it when he didn’t answer like this – when anyone didn’t deign it to answer when someone was calling out – and walked outside. The sight of the large pool greeted her, the vaguely messy dance area looking abandoned in the wake of this exodus that was their friends going to their own houses for once. She closed her eyes and listened a bit, trying to remember where the loud noise had come from; and maybe see if she could hear any other indication of what it could have possibly been.

Another loud bang echoed through the quiet.

“Goddamnit Damon, I swear to fuck if you broke something I will –“ she cuts herself off, mouth hanging open, no words peaking through, a snort of laughter lodged in her throat. Her chest and belly give a few stuttering motions as she struggled not to collapse on the floor laughing with tears streaming down her round cheeks.

“Do not” began Damon, on his ass, his formally grey shirt peppered with streaks of various colours and materials, his hair a bird’s nest – quite literally as Dana saw branches sticking out alongside some feather that she had no idea how they came to exist in their house. “laugh.” he finished with a half cough half chock, the dust around him combining with the smell of all that paint creating a caustic gas that he could not utter a words through. Dana gulped back another guffaw, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes as she fought the instinct to laugh and nodded as seriously as she could. She watched as Damon slowly unrolled his bent knees, stretching out long legs before him and then slowly struggled to get up only to slip backward in a flurry of rainbow and chicken feathers on some pink paint, bringing down the last remaining industrial shelf that supply room had had. The pure shock on his face and oddly shaped drawing on his shirt – which to Dana resembled a very unfortunate looking whale – were what broke her already thin control and she laughed as loud as she could, bending down at the waist, hand covering her face. It was only much later, after Damon had fully gotten up and washed up and Dana cleaned the supply room, after the kids had woken up and cried for food, after Damon re-enacted the Battle of Hogwarts with an old doll of Caroline’s standing in for Voldemort and a stick figure made by Dana’s nephew as Harry that he told her what exactly led to the disaster.

He’d wanted to get the dollar he’d dropped two days prior to buy Dana the kitsch-y, devil-lookalike little sticky wall hanger for their bathroom. Dana wasn’t sure whether she laughed more at that explanation or the aftermath in the end, only that she’d gotten her family day after all, as odd as it had been.

COMFORT

“Damon?”

She was sitting on a lounge chair, the water of the pool reflecting the soft light of the night time. Her feet were tucked underneath her thighs, cross legged, a blanket around her shoulder. Her hand peeked through the soft material, wiggling her fingers and smiling a tremble of a smile. Her eyes were glassy, the straps of her bright orange nightgown had fallen down her shoulders, as seen through the tiny gap.

“Hey, Dana.”

He approached her perch, sitting on the end of the lounge chair and putting a hand on her left knee, massaging it. She winced, her smile fading slowly as he continued the motion. He knew she always got sharp jabs of pain whenever thoughts of her past invaded her waking moments. She let her cold fingers grip his wrist, feeling for his pulse underneath the skin, the thrum of his blood reminding her she still had people in her life that loved her.

“I’m not okay, Day.”

She whimpered and Damon’s heart broke. She didn’t cry, not yet, just let her head fall onto the headrest and unfurled her legs into his lap, pulling the blanket around her torso tighter, as if doing so would hide the ugly scar splitting open her sternum. It didn’t, not to her, who could feel the pulsating pain of his fingers digging into her flesh, even now after so many centuries. Dana squeezed her eyes tight, breathed in a deep, shaky breath and looked back at Damon. His blue eyes sparkled in the light of reflected by the ripples of water around them, never moving from her.

He nodded, both to himself, but also as a way of reassuring her, and shifted, crawling over her and then gently easing himself to the side, sliding under her body, curling an arm around her shoulders. She shuddered, turning her face towards him, large green eyes gazing up at him, so vulnerable and pained and he let his legs entangle with hers, felt her arms bury themselves into the back of his Henley as she embraced him. He kissed the top of her head, breathed in her scent.

“I’ve got you, baby. You’re safe.”

He felt her borough her face into his chest, hyperventilating and shaking her head. She tightened her fingers into the material of the shirt, a trembling mess against him. He felt the tears soak his chest, felt her empty, chocked out sobs resonating with the beat of his heart, watched her legs curl further into the space between them as she curled up into a ball against him. He rubbed calloused fingers down her arms and carefully cupped her cheek. He thought she might fight him when he tried to lift her gaze to his, but she went pliant, leaning into the touch, planting a watery kiss to his palm. Dana smiled, a broken, twisted little smile and opened her eyes again.

“I’m sorry. I know I should be ove-“

“Shh, I’ve got you. I’m right here. Just sleep.”

She blinked back her tears, rose on her elbows and pressed a soft kiss to his temple, lingering there and breathing him in. He pulled her up further, cradled her into him, cocooning her in his arms. She sighed, still shaky, but gentle and relaxing against him. Nodding sluggishly, her breath evened out. She was still awake, her eyelashes tickling the side of his face, but calmer. Dana, snuggled up, nuzzling his skin, sniffling softly and shaking whenever she closed her eyes for too long.

“I’m right here. I’ll protect you, baby. You can let go now.”

He whispered, feeling her exhale and seeing her melt further into the warmth of his body, lean into the softness of his caress. Wrapped into him as she was, so close she could feel his every move, from the twitch of his thigh when he rearranged, to the rise of his skin when a cold breeze washed over them, she let the tension coiled inside her go, gave all she had left to him and sighed.

“I know.”

VALENTINE’S DAY

Damon was concerned. His wife was acting odd. Well, worse than she usually did nevertheless and for the life of him, he couldn’t stop the worry from mounting as he saw her bouncing in place again and giggling uncontrollably. Honestly, he worried for her mental health on a normal day, today he worried for his own too.

See, when Damon heard that Dana wanted to plan a nice non-Valentine’s Day Valentine’s Day, he was excited. He might not have celebrated a lot of holidays, but he liked to think that this one in particular he’d be pretty good at. So when last year Dana asked, gently and apologetically, if perhaps they could just not do anything for Valentine’s he’d been a tiny bit... disappointed. Which he didn’t mention, yet somehow his wife had heard or realized and took it upon herself to rectify the situation this year. In her own style. By celebrating on the 13th instead. A non-Valentine’s Day... Valentine’s Day

“So, what exactly are you planning here, D?” he had to ask, if only for his own peace of mind at this point.

“Not telling!” she sang in his ear, pecking him on the cheek and waltzing away. He turned to look after her, but found he’d been intercepted by his brother instead, no doubt tasked by Dana to distract him. Hours later, Stefan drunk and swaying against the wall thinking he’s dancing on the bar, Damon finally get the text calling him back home. He rushed over, half slumped Stefan dragged after him and dumped on a chair by the poolside, already asleep before he even gets to sit his brother properly, and stopped in their hallway. Soft music sounded from the bed room, and he strained a bit to recognize the song. “I choose you”. His heart stuttered. That was her song to him, blasting from the speakers in their bedroom, her voice mumbling the words. He walked down the corridor, the smell of deep rich chocolate and lulling rhythm of her voice drawing him in.

“Dana? What-“ the words were stuck in his throat. The room was much the same, except there were white Christmas lights decorating every corner, casting the area in deep shadows and soft edges, the quality of a dream. Dana was dressed in a dark red blouse, a plunging neckline and hem stopping at her thighs and making it clear she wore only a pair of black lace panties underneath. She was swaying to the rhythm.

“Damon! Wait! No! Go back, go back.” she rushed to him, her high heels clicking on the wooden floor of the hallway as she pushed him back around the corner. “When I tell you, you come in, ok babe?” with a grin she ran back inside. He heard her shuffling around, turning off the song. When she called him back inside, he was bemused and not sure what to expect, except for his heart to stop beating a salsa beat in his chest. The song was turned on. Her voice rose, sure and harmonious this time. She strutted toward him slowly, gazing from half lidded eyes and led him to sit on the edge of the bed. She settled her knees on either side of his hips and held his face in her hands, caressing his cheeks.

She smiled and winked at every “I choose you” she sang, circling her hips to the soft tempo, her eyes mapping his face and her hands following the road left behind. She let out a breathy “you” when he bit the pad of her thumb and he leaned into her when she let the digit trace his lower lip. The song was ending soon.

Damon snaked sure, wide palms up her legs, pulling her thighs straight up, pressing them into his chest as he nosed at her cleavage and licked up her neck, the line she was singing breaking as she moaned. Pushing at him softly, he eased up, blue eyes hazed as the song beat into his chest, into his heart. Warmth spread through him as she gently pushed him onto his back, leaning over him, letting her weight settle into his bones, her warmth into the chill his clothes had brought with them from outside.

“I love you, Damon” she whispered as one last “I choose you” echoed from the stereo. Dana’s lips met his, soft and innocent and oh so loving and he felt a tear slid down his face, disappearing into the bed sheets below, leaving her none the wiser about it. He flipped them over, licking her neck with short burst that had a riotous laughter bursting from deep in her belly.

“I know, Dana.” he grinned down at her, saw her huff and pout and bend down to kiss her again, tracing her upper lip and letting out a sigh when her tongue met his. “Te voglio bene assai.” he crooned in her ear once Caruso swarmed around them, his song this time. Her eyes reflected the love back at him, so much love he could barely breathe and knew she saw the same in return as water gathered in her eyes and tears fell through her wide grin as she mouthed along to the song.

For non-Valentine’s day Valentine’s Day, it ended up pretty syrupy, especially after Dana showed him where she’d put the melted caramel. They ended up eating more than making love, but who could blame them really.

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

Damon took a step forward onto the sandy beach, letting the summer sun bathe his face. He was home, finally, after dealing with nearly a month of shit in Mystic Falls. He took out the sunglasses from his jeans pocket and put them on, pulling onto the lapel of his leather jacket. The sand crunched beneath his heavy boots, the sun warmed the leather, attracted to the black colour of it, sweat gathering at the small of his back and sides, but he ignored it. He had an entrance to make and it would be good. Damon looked up at the large building, the size of a tropical getaway hotel, the house he and his wife of three years had built together. Heading east, toward where their apartment was situated, he ran at vampire speed toward where he knew the entryway stood, hurrying up the stairs and slowing to a relaxed walk when he reached the hallway near the kids’ room. He had a plan for him and Dana reuniting, but she could wait a bit, he had two little demons to greet and shower with attention.

It was about two hours later that he left the two to their own devices, together with their older half sister, having been thrown out on ground of “being too old, Daddy!”. He couldn’t really argue with that and he also wasn’t able to be away from Dana much longer. Being back home like this, seeing her presence in every crevice of their house, intermingled with his, seeing Seth soft cheeks and Izzie’s green eyes, so much like their mother sometimes, had him thinking about her even more.

He followed the sound of loud music to the poolside, where he knew she would be at this hour, night having fallen. He heard her before he saw her, spinning around in circles around her best friend and sending mischievous glances at Stefan, no doubt wanting to torture him by dragging him out to the dance floor, singing loudly with the current song. Damon swallowed down his laughter as he didn’t want her to know he was there yet. He waited at the outskirts, leaning against a palm tree, eyes twinkling as she shimmied and swayed her hips absent minded to the beat of the next song, talking with Tony. She let her head fall back in a loud burst of laughter at something the other man said, then in a flurry of movements, she salsa’d her way toward the bar.

He loved moments like these, calm and happy, peaceful and insane. He loved her. His eyes traced her curves, the swell of her hips falling into the slope of her spine leading toward her rounded ass, the soft swell of her breasts. He saw her short hair ruffling in the breeze, her glasses glinting in the light of the lampposts. She was wearing her mismatched pyjama again, the flowing nightgown, cotton and white, worn out barely doing anything to hide the bright pink underwear she wore. She had purple socks on and nothing else. He shook his head in disbelief, the absolute disaster of her outfit out staged only by the confidence with which she wore it. He thought she never looked more beautiful than in that moment, balancing two drinks in her hands, each step toward where she’d left Tony and Stefan waiting a half skip to the beat of the music. She truly was ridiculous.

He chose the moment when she turned to look at the stage, jumping up and down, drinking from her glass and cheering on whoever had deigned to sing tonight from their friends. It was a Bon Jovi song, he thought as he made his way toward her, finger of his lips to signal to the other not to say anything to alert her of his presence. Sliding his hands around her waist, he felt her relax in his hold, no doubt recognizing him. She leaned into him, letting her weight fall on him, head falling onto his shoulder, a gentle smile on her lips as she mouthed the words to the song. He nosed at the sweaty skin of her neck, enjoying watching her squirm and yelp at the tickling feeling. When she turned around in his arms, she blinked her half-lidded green eyes and grinned wide.

“Hey, D!” she switched her hold on him, one hand going to his shoulder, the other gripping his hand and they began swaying in place. It was nice. It was home. Another song followed, and another, and another, then suddenly it was Black Velvet. Dana had taken a break from dancing and Damon himself had gone off into the large mob of people, but the throngs of the song drew his eyes back to hers and as she rose from her place, he returned to her. The song might not have been about sex, but the way she began moving and mouthing the words was. Damon was entranced as he followed her lead now, like a sailor toward a siren, ready to drown in her.

“Let’s ditch them, babe.” she whispered, grinding her ass into him, breathy voice and closed eyes. He grinned, bent and picked her up bridal style as she yelped and hit his chest in retaliation. But didn’t struggle much when she realised he was taking them to the bedroom. He put her down on the soft carpet and stripped of his outfit, deciding to match her look, worn pyjama pants with a guitar patter and fuzzy chequered socks. He decided to forgo the t-shirt, expecting it would be a bit redundant if they decided to go ahead with what had brought them here in the first place. Dana smiled sensually at him, one eyebrow raising suggestively and turned on her phone, the slow notes of a guitar filling the bedroom.

“I had an idea a few days ago and had no one to try it out with.” she began, taking him by the hand and pushing him down onto the bed. Damon lay sprawled out, rising on his elbows to look her, legs open, dangling over the edge, relaxed. He was intrigued. He wondered if he was about to get the rare lap dance from her, and from the way she began circling her hips, her hands caressing her body, it seemed that way. She played with her breasts, twisting the nipple, kneading the flesh through the nightgown, sucking two fingers into her mouth and trailing them down between her breasts, winking. He smirked and shifted on the bed, settling down, for now willing to ignore the growing erecting tenting his pants. She pulled off her gown, throwing it haphazardly behind her, landing onto the lamp and gangling there, leaving her with a large comfortable pair of pink panties and those ridiculous socks. She turned and bend down quickly, back arched and hips jutting out, making a show of taking off her socks, tripping and readjusting with a laugh, cheeks red from exertion and arousal.

Damon followed her lead, taking of his socks as well, palming his hardened cock through his pants, biting his lower lip to stifle a moan, failing as a snort of laughter bursts through anyway when Dana twists too hard and bumps her shin on the corner of the night stand, cursing loudly. The mood doesn’t break though, if anything, the laughter only fans the flames, leaving Damon speechless when suddenly it’s gone and Dana is on her hands and knees, inching her way to him. She pushes her hands up his legs, kneading his thighs just this side of too painful as her knuckles graze him. his head halls back with a loud groan and he feels her answering, pleased smile against the stuttering skin of his belly. Her tongue traces around, mapping the ridges of his abs and dipping below the waistband for but a split second. Her thumbs flick his nipples and her teeth graze his side as she slowly nips and licks and sucks downward. She pulls his pyjama pants off with her teeth, low enough to free his cock from within its confines. She rises to her feet and stretches above him, knees bracketing his hips, hands on either side of his head, a wide grin on her flushed face, an answering one on his.

“Hi.” she whispered softly, blinking down at him. “I missed you, babe.”

“Me too.” He wound his arms around her, caressing down her spine and feeling as goose bumps rose in the wake of his touch. One hand tangled in her hair and pulled her to him, stopping just before they could fully kiss, breaths intermingling, green to blue staring at each other. Her grin softened and she closed the distance, opening her mouth at his probing tongue and matching the pace he set. It was a gentle kiss, a welcome home kiss. It fit the still strumming guitar in the background.

“I want to fuck you to the rhythm of this song.” she mumbled against his lips, separating them, drawing back and waiting to see what he thought, a challenge in her darkened gaze, feet beating the melody out of bed, suspended there.

Damon closed his eyes and listened to the music, feeling the beat in his chest. Dana had a lot of wacky ideas when it came to ... anything really, so this didn’t surprise him in the slightest, what did surprise him was how fitting the song was. He hadn’t even realized they’d basically moved with it this whole time. Even now they were following its melody, her body moving back and forth on top of him, hips grinding to the notes almost unconsciously.

“Sure, go for it.” he grinned and grabbed her wrists, in a swift movement having pinned her beneath him instead, grounding into her with sure moves. Her head dug into the bed spread, hair a mess, mouth open in a silent gasp. He let his face morph, veins rising underneath his eyes, fangs elongating. She opened her eyes and moaned at the sights, her panties growing wetter, by now soaked through. She hooked one leg around his upper thigh and pulled him closer, rising her hips into him, the tip of his cock massaging her clit. She grinned defiant, not one to give up the fight so easily. He grazed the swell of her right breast with his fangs, nipping and breaking the skin. With a hiss of pain, she grinded harder into him, one hand clutching at his hair, the other digging nails into his biceps. He sucked at the small puncture wound.

“Day-“ the gasp is forced from between her lips when he snaked a hand into her underwear, adjusted the angle so that the only thing separating them was her panties and his pants, circling her clit too fast. Her head thrashed from side to side, biting her lower lip, scratching his arms, fingers finding purchase into the sheets beneath them. “Oh fuuuck!” Her back arched into his touch, so close to an orgasm, when he suddenly pulled away, a shit eating smirk on his lips and she growled, tears of frustration gathering in her eyes.

“I have a few ideas too, baby.” He pulled off the last article of clothing and watched as she almost ripped hers off as well, then she smiled, sweet. Too sweet.

He was pinned, arms locked at his sides by her shins digging into them, her wet heat inches from his face. She was bent over him, her warm breath making his erection twitch, as if maybe the right angle would catch the softness of her lips. He couldn’t move his head at the angle she held him, he could reach and swipe his tongue inside her. But she could so she did, gentle little kitten licks down the underside of his dick, harsh sucks to the head, quick rapid fire bobs up and down his length. His head was swimming, Dana was in heaven, his moans and growls and the gentle bucking of his hips under her hands and mouth everything she’d ever wanted.

When Damon was close, she stopped, hovering just out of reach, her lips still close enough to lightly graze of oversensitive tip, precum gathering and rolling down onto the bed sheets. “You’re right, babe. This was a great idea.” She purred and he felt the vibrations in his whole body. He shuddered and bucked up harder. Her left knee gave pain filled twinge then and he took the advantage, sinking one finger then two into her, caressing and twisting and curling at just the right angle that she screamed out his name. The song picked up tempo. They didn’t even hear it.

“Damon, if you don’t –“ Dana was going crazy and sick of his teasing when he took out his fingers, licked them clean, making an obscene amount of nose as he did so and slowly sunk into her. Her legs tightened around him in reflex, her back arched and her mouth opened in a silent scream. They were both too strung up at this point to mess around anymore, so Damon set a punishing pace, the long month of separation echoing in the desperation of his thrusts. Dana matched his rhythm, rising her hips in time with him, licked his neck, bit at the space behind his right ear that had his hips stuttering and his breath catch. He caressed y inside of her knee and she moaned, kissing him frantically, teeth and spit and lips mashing together.

“Come on, comeoncomeon-“ she mumbled under her breath into his ear, he swore against her hair. He pulled at her, slipping out and turning onto his back, guiding her to sit back onto him. She sat down in one quick motion that had her feeling him deep in her belly. Damon let her set the pace now, the guitar faster and louder in the background, matching their own rhythm. She rose slowly and thrust down hard.

“Oh fuck, Dana” Damon groaned, fingers digging into her hips, no doubt leaving bruises. She repeated the motion, uuuup and down, uup and down, up and down!, again and again and again.

“So close, Damon” she moaned his name, breath stuttering in her lungs. He nodded along, helping her, moving her bodily over him when her thighs began trembling and her belly quivered and his arms shook.

They were both so close, so unbelievably near to the edge, all it took was two well angled thrust, one hard push into her. And then the song ended. Her movements lost momentum, his hips twisted the wrong way and the cresting pleasure was lost.

“Fuuck. No!” she cried out, collapsing onto his chest, eyes wet, body still too sensitive to be touching his so much. Damon growled in frustration and punched the sheets. They lay like that for a few seconds, with Damon still buried deep inside her until a hysterical laughter gripped her. Her whole body trembled above him as she laughed, startling shivers of pleasure from both due to the movement. “Typical.” he murmured, kissing her sweaty forehead and chuckling as well as she rose on shaky hands and kissed him deeply.

“Love you, babe.” she whispered and lay back down, nuzzling his neck. “Gimme two minutes. Fuck the song” she added with a deep breath.

“Love you too. But next time, loop the goddamn song.” he caressed her sides as he spoke. Goose bumps rising on her skin and he knew she didn’t need two minutes anymore.

“Next time, huh?” she swivelled her hips and saw him chock on a moan, tired, happy smile on her lips.

“God, I missed you.” he spoke as he thrust up into her once more, heat curling in his belly again, felling her shudder at the motions.

“Fucking guitar riff!” she cried out in retaliation, stuttering laughter in her belly as he resumed a slower pace than before. They fell asleep sated, curled around one another, in a silent room.

LIFE HAPPENS

“So how about that dinner you owed me?” Dana bats her eyelashes up at Damon. He’s leans further back against the desk in their bedroom, quirking an eyebrow, blue eyes shining in amusement.

“Owed, is it?” She laughs, long and loud. Nods. Yelps when he rushes to her and jumps out of the way, giggling when he snorts into the pillows as he lands. “That was unfair.” He grumbles, turning onto his back and looking up at the plain beige ceiling. Dana settles back down, curling around him, head on his shoulder, nuzzled against his neck, hand on his heart. He sighs. Shifts his weight. Clears his throat. Plays with the hem of her t-shirt.

“Do you really have to go again?” it comes out as a whine, but there is something more hidden below the surface as the woman further boroughs her head into the crook of his shoulder. They lay like that, in silence for a few seconds, neither willing to disrupt the calm and quiet. Dana’s mind a whirlpool of thoughts, from worry about how volatile Stefan is being recently, since the almost murder of their mother, to joy at being able to hold onto Damon a few minutes more. When Damon’d come back with a ridiculous reindeer beer mug, she’d figured the worst had passed, yet now here he was about to leave again.

“I’ll be back tonight, you know that, babe.”

“True” grumbling under her breath, she springs from where she was laying, all manic energy and crazy smiles. “Alright! You go do ... whatever you do in that hell-hole and I’ll go see who’s around here.” She kissed him on the lips, tugging a bit on his lower one as she pulled back, winked, turned, and skipped out of the room. Bemused, Damon set about to change out of his current sleep wear, boxers and an old shirt of Dana’s that had fit him last night well enough.

Mystic Falls was as per usual a cesspool worth of horrible things on the verge of happening. He wasn’t sure whether the memories of the Phoenix stone were still that fresh in his mind, or perhaps simply no longer being used to being there, but Damon was anxious. Anxious, like when you see the dark storm front approaching, anxious like feeling the air drop in a room following an argument, anxious like struggling to smuggle your younger brother outside of father’s study so neither of you are met with a too sharp tongue and even shaper whip. He stays though, long after nightfall, helping Wannabe Deputy Dumbass clean up the newest mess created by whoever had decided to come to their little cursed town that day. He was looking forward to home more so than any other time since maybe actually being rescued from the Phoenix stone.

It’s quiet when he arrives back.

Well, perhaps quiet is too much, there’s still a too loud poolside with too many people drinking and dancing and talking, there’s still a full house greeting him, lights blaring from the windows and shining from the small shopping district they’d made out of boredom, but there is something wrong lingering in the air. He can almost taste it he thinks, as he descends the stairs and heads to the main area. Dana isn’t there tonight. Not particularly surprising, seeing that she does tend to hole herself in their bedroom and binge watch things online often enough, but it is that anxious feeling swirling in the pit of his stomach that sets his teeth on edge.

She’s in bed when he arrives, sleeping.

He joins her, quickly returning to the earlier outfit he’d worn before he left, not yet having been picked up by anyone. She turns in her sleep, groans, scrunches up her face and pushes closer to the edge of the bed. She dips a hand over, dangling it there for a few seconds more, then quickly switches onto her other side, pummelling the pillow with her face, arranging it. Damon lays down at her back, pushing her towards the wall. She’s a warm, reassuring presence against his chest, content as a cat on a radiator.

Damon falls asleep, legs tangled with Dana’s.

Dana wakes up in a cold sweat, breathing harsh and heart racing out of her chest, the last vestiges of her nightmare clinging to her awareness still. She closes her eyes tightly, forces her breath to even out and not turn into a full blown panic attack tonight. She’s still shaking, cold from where the blanket had fallen off of her.

Damon sobs in her ear. She freezes.

Dana plops back on her back, feeling the overheated skin of his forearm rubbing her too clammy one. As another gargled sound rips its way out of his lungs, she pushes up onto her elbow and softly caresses his cheeks, his arms, his chest. His breathing is heavier, his eyelids moving brusquely. She tries waking him, mumbles out his name, tells him to get up. She doesn’t want to yell out tonight, her vocal chords already abused enough due to her own nightmare.

Damon stirs, eyes fluttering open, hand twitching his hers.

Dana lets him calm down, tries to wait for him to be fully conscious before she can say anything. The room is dark and shadows play at the corner of her sight, sending shivers down her spine at cold blue eyes surrounded by snow. Damon pulls her to his chest, arms tightly wound around her, plastering his sweaty hair to her cheek. She waits, spying demons in the night, dancing just out of her periphery, closing in faster than she can control her lungs. Damon’s the first to speak.

“Nightmare.”

It is both a question and an answer in equal measure. He knows she has them every so often, sometimes she remembers them in the morning when she wakes up, mostly she just never know she’s had one to begin with. It is rare to find her awake this deep into the darkness. She nods. The demons are getting closer in the night it feels and despite the heat of Damon’s embrace, she’s cold.

“Was it Lily?”

Her voice is clear, deep with sleep and fear. She talks when she’s nervous, she barely utters a word when she’s terrified. He tells her everything he can recall, if only to fill the void of night. His mother, Lily, yes, but his father as well. He was a child again. He still could feel the bruises from his father heavy hand and his mother’s ignorance. He makes a joke out of it, despite the ache in his eyes that tells him nothing is funny right now.

The anxious feeling lingers well into the morning.

When he wakes up, he’s covered in blood. Dana is in the shower, struggling not to let the cries echo as the deep gashes her nails had inflicted on her chest still haven’t stopped bleeding. They are silent when she returns to bed. Him ignoring the bandage taped to her chest, her not mentioning how red and puffy his eyes are. The darkness retreats from the bedroom, the feeling fades. Now all that is left is piecing each other back together again, as they must always after something like this.

Pieces have gone missing again.

“You owe me dinner, babe.” she whispers into his hair, barely controlled emotions masked by however little energy she can muster, the smile a dead carcass on her lips.

“I can work with that.” he wiggles his eyebrows, licks his lips, but there is nothing seductive about it yet, just a facsimile of what their banter should be.

They try to soak up the warmth. The demons howl. The anxiety chocks.

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scum-belina · 6 years

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What's going on with you and your mom trying to get back into your own house?

Read under the cut at your own risk bc it is A LOT and I hate it

We've had to live with my mom's parents ever since my dad got sick and eventually died because he was the only one who worked or drove. I WANTED to work and drive but he always tried to discourage me from it and was no help in getting me started in life at all, so now I'm trying to catch up while still being in this bad situation surrounded by unsupportive family. My dad's truck can't be driven bc it keeps throwing a code that prevents it from passing inspection. Last year my granny bullied my mom into spending like half of the money we had left on getting the truck repaired so SHE could drive it instead of me, and the mechanic my granny insisted on us using didn't fix the truck for shit. It still throws that code and won't pass inspection. I honestly think the mechanic just scammed us out of $500. So that's why even tho I have my license now, I still can't drive myself to a job or take my mom to work and back. My grandpa takes my mom to work and back but he's so rude about it I HATE that she has to depend on him for transportation. He's 81 and showing signs of dementia now I'm terrified every time he drives her anywhere.

ANYWAY, that's just some of the reason why we're having trouble getting back on our own. My mom has been working at the nursing and rehab center that my dad spent the last year of his life in, and the ppl there are decent to my mom and she works 5-6 days a week there. She's been budgeting ever since she got a job and has been trying to always have some money left to go into savings for a reliable vehicle for me to drive. Yesterday, my mom was like "ok we're about to start budgeting even stricter and putting more towards saving for you a car bc you need one" and I was so relieved but later ON THAT SAME DAY my grandma (maternal side, granny is my paternal one) told my mom she's demanding rent from us, and the amount she was demanding was half of what my mom makes a month, which is impossible for us to do and save ANY money at all. Like my mom does not make a lot so saving is hard enough already. I freaked out bc that just means it'll be all the more difficult for my mom and I to ever get back to our own home again.

The plan has always been for my mom to save up enough money to get us a reliable car, then I'll take her to work and get my own job too, then we'd both make enough money to move back home since we could afford to pay utility bills. I'm honestly okay with this plan bc it's not like I'm going to stay home forever, in fact I plan on enlisting in the military as soon as I can, but I want to be able to at least save up some money before that and actually like, be able to drive my own self to talk to a recruiter and so on. Plus I don't want to leave without my mom being back in her own home. She's gonna get her drivers license too I've already told her to stop being so damn afraid of driving bc if I can overcome my fear of driving, she certainly can too.

ANYWAYS AGAIN, I just completely lost it yesterday bc I was JUST starting to feel hopeful that I could actually get out of here. My mom all this year offered to pay for gas money for any time my grandpa had to take her somewhere, and sometimes she'll buy them dinner as thanks and they get mad and are like "well looks like you've got money to spare..." so I really think they're just demanding rent suddenly to make us feel more uncomfortable and just give up and move somewhere else like my granny's...and if you've followed me for long you KNOW that would be hell. My grandma and grandpa are both well-off retired baby boomers. I know how much they make and I know how much their bills are and they are not hurting in the slightest, but they know me and my mom are and are just trying to save up so we don't have to live with anyone anymore, yet they're making all the more difficult for us to get out of here. My mom was able to lower the rent price down to where she can still save some money for a car, but still it's going to take longer now.

I feel completely cornered and trapped. All I've wanted for years is to just be able to drive myself to wherever I need to go and make my own living, yet everything and everyone keeps coming against me from making that happen all while those same people belittle and berate me for not having my own car or job. I absolutely hate myself for being 24 and having no life experience whatsoever. I feel like a failure and like I'll never be able to overcome my circumstances

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kookieshope7 · 7 years

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Yesterday I finally told "this person" how I really feel about them. How their actions have been hurting others and wreckless..disrespectful toward p and I just couldn't take it anymore . As you know this person disrespected me several months ago and blocked me. Just recently she unblocked me. Started talking again and I finally had enough of the lies and drama. So I put it all on the table. Told her the truth about what she "thinks" is going on and what I know. She lied about it and calling me vindictive and saying I was belittling her. If I wanted to belittle her i would have called her every name in the book. I never called her anything. I simply woke her up in her reality in her little fantasy world. Needless to say she had nothing to say. Cause she know it true.

Now I feel like the bad person. Now I feel like it's going to come back to me. But I was telling the truth and standing up for what s right and the truth about him. Spiritually. Why do I feel like I'm now the bad one?

I'm sorry but he s not going to tell you to divorce your husband, move half way round the world..have No job to go to. You have no more money and no one but yet you still insist that nothing is wrong the right thing will come along. Hasn't for 2 months the what makes you think it will Now? You get a divorce and decide to pack up and leave..the job you had lined up ended up not being there when you got there. I would think that would have been a red flag. You leave your elderly demincha mother alone in a nursing home back in Arizona calming you will till you get settled. What if that never happens ? And one thing after another keeps blowing up in your face since you got to Minnie. Would think that would be definite clues that he s not with you or helping you in any way.

Plus I tell you that when you treated me the way you did he would have never told you to do that if he was with you. So that right there tells me he aint. I've known all along he wasn't but you only said he was with you after I told you he was with me. Funny ain't it? I didn't do anything but tell the truth that you needed to hear and you need to stop treating ppl like shit and maybe you will have better luck.

In conclusion I feel liberated in a scence but now she knows the truth. And it shall set you free. All of her actions were not of someone who he would be with infact the opposite. Did I do the right thing? Only time will tell but I feel I did. I feel like he is happy I stood my ground and stood up for him and his memory.

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despiteherself · 7 years

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no one asked but that never stops me when it comes to tuffstrid: 1. Who calls the other on their lunch break to tell them how much they love them? tuff ok, clearly. also like,,,, tuff does the drop the lunch off in a brown paper bag with cute notes in it thing if astrid forgets her lunch. i mean i can't see her actually doing that but like, tuff dropping lunch off with a kiss is Good and True ok.  2. Who kisses the other person’s hand before they start to dance? Does anyone do this or  3. Who makes the spicy™ playlist? I don't know what this means probably tuff tho  4. Who brings home a baby bird and nurses it back to health? TUFF all the time picking up animals that need his help ok. plus like all the scraggly, mangy animals. he definitely loves all of them.  5. Who buys the other clothes that they would look super cute in? lmao tuff starts it bc he's all !!! astrid pls this sweater is adorable !!! and gets her nice stuff and astrid sometimes rarely does it, back, bc she knows he loves it and that he likes ridiculous things so yeah  6. Who comes home with a black eye and who gives the other person ice before going and finding who did this to kick their teeth in? tuff comes home with the black eye and astrid is super clinical about it and probably has like a giant first aid kit and 24 ice packs in the freezer. ppl learnt pretty quick not to be rude about or to tuff tbh  7. Who brings home way too many ice cream cones from the grocery store? tuff, but astrid only puts up a mock fuss about it. she's totally into getting giggly drunk and eating ice cream at 3 am whilst skinny dipping in the spa or whatever.  8. Who holds the other person’s drink before they do something stupid? astrid holds tuff's drink before he does something stupid. also there's definitely that hold my flower meme,,,, probably i think i drew it once.  9. Who brings home juice boxes because they both love juice boxes? tuff,,, tuff buys all the silly fun stuff ok. astrid is practical and and plans and budgets her shopping and gets basics and tuff buys like 5 brands of sugary cereal and gummy worms and alternative to mint toothpaste. astrid /likes/ that tuff is ridiculous and fun and only puts back two of the cereals and adds chocolate covered peanuts.  10. Who has the contagious laugh? they'd argue that each other does, tbh. but i guess rlly tuff, lmao

#tuff #this makes me want to write a modern au oh my god #tuffstrid #httyd #astrid

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swearronchanel · 7 years

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Tired of these yet? A Christmas journey in March with 4.09

I’ve actually been productive today *claps* I’m the worst™ and a procrastinator to the core, so it was about damn time I got shit done. Plus+ I ran out of clean jeans so that was some motivation to do laundry & once I started moving I just kept going haha. But today I watched the Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher’s memorial & omg it was so emotional ugh. Now that I’m so sad I guess I’m going to watch Call the Midwife. Care to join me?

I closed my eyes and pointed to the episode list, looks like we’re watching 4.09 aka the 2015 Christmas special

I don’t have to pretend very hard that it’s Christmas because it was like 17 degrees f the other day lol

Am I the only one who hums along in their head to the theme song? ok nvm

Aw a baby

Tom is actually in church lol, we rarely see him there

Sister MJ lol, what is she looking for?!

Sister Winifred actually cooks/bakes pretty often

SISTER EVANGELINA 😭💔 I still miss her

Sister Winifred aka queen of cringey facial expressions, I love it

Ah no! the death joke is no longer funny sister E 😭😭 rip💔

My bby Trixie on the scene😍

What is quality street? I looked it up before but forgot. Candy right?

whoops is my American showing

I hope Sister MC comes back soon☹️

“Behold, I have located the Brandy” three cheers for alcohol 🍻 I wouldn’t choose brandy though what am I a rich old business man at a country club?

Lol Sister MJ & Sister W giggling so pure !

“You give us enough gip when you’re stone cold sober“😂 same

Gremlin kids in the front haha

Oh no😂 Babs gave them all candy and now has to make them spit it out😂

Aw I love Christmas

But looking at this snow is triggering even if it’s fake😭😂

WE’VE HAD SO MUCH THIS MONTH HERE & IT’S MARCH❄️

yikes these kids are awful, who let them up there! 😭😂

SHELAGH’S FACE 😂 SHE IS DISGUSTED OMG HAHAA

Patrick laughing so hard like same 😭😂

Welp he’s lucky, Saved by the bell thanks to Trixie

Doesn’t Sister MJ explode whatever’s in the pot?

Ahh Shelagh looks so good™!😍 I love when they dress her up!

In other news, Laura tweeted me, which means she knows I exists. What a time to be alive™😭✨👏🏼you know I was shook

Angela so precious aww, I hope my future baby is that pretty

Now I just think of The Crown when I see Mrs Willens *she’s in it if you haven’t watched*

Oh no Sister MJ!!! 😭😭 why are they always giving her illnesses! Dejala sola!

She was legit ill in the first Christmas special 😭

Love Trixie’s ponytail, why Patsy’s hair a mess tho? LOL I SHOULDN’T BE TALKING

I’m a walking ball of frizz. And when I don’t wash my hair for a few days it actually dread locks 😂 gotta love curls

Aw Delia’s not here- I forgot she cracked her head open and went back to Wales

Protect Sister MJ at every cost

Violet literally sewing Fred’s ass into the Santa pants 😂😂😂 fun fact they did that to Olivia Newton John in Grease

not sure if I knew that because I have a junk brain of useless information or because I’m trash that reads buzzfeed

Violet’s been wearing blue eyeshadow for 3 series

“I’m not biting this, it’s too close to your backside” lol okay vi give it time. You’ll be cringeyly very handsy with each other in a bit anyway 😂

She’d do it now with no hesitation I bet

I’m here for their relationship tho😂

SISTER MJ HAD PNEUMONIA IN SERIES 1 DID SHE NOT?

Ugh distaval, fuck that. Just wait and see what chaos it brings

Aw Pats looking at the photo of Delia💔 oo wait that was a parallel then in the Cuban missile Crisis episode this series

PHYLLIS !! I missed her presence lol

Tom’s opening letter from bbc it’s lit

also: he looks good™

Poor Sister MJ! What are they feeding you, liver ew

Ah I forgot, this is when they get the tv😭

Poor Babs can’t go home for Christmas

You’ll have the nonnatus fam❤️❤️

“All should head home” *breaks out into song* THERE’S NOOO PLACE LIKE HOMEEE, FOR THE HOLIDAYSSS

Which is true because NYC is pretty beautiful at Christmas time, I can’t deny that

But also is when 100000x more people are visiting 🙃and stop in front of you when you’re walking to take pictures 🙃 *clenches fists* moving on..

Lol Tom you need to be more clear on this, they’re not getting it

Sister J shut him down 😂

“Mrs Mop” lmfao this BBC guy is a jerk😂

Laura’s another queen of facial expressions

“Aesthetics are vital” I feel

Aw Shelagh so cute being defensive of the kids of poplar

Lets be real though Shelagh’s always adorable bc Laura is an actual angel

pink wafers aye

i still have been craving them lol, there’s no bodega’s around my university though☹️

Angela is giggling, was this the last time we heard her make a noise lol

Wait this is when Sister MJ runs away

yikes measles

when did the vaccine become a thing then? that mmr shot ugh

Glad I got it because there’s supposedly someone with mumps on my campus like wtf

Why was Sister E so harsh yelling at Sister Mj!? That was unnecessary !!

LET 👏🏼SISTER 👏🏼MJ 👏🏼DECORATE👏🏼FOR👏🏼CHRISTMAS 👏🏼AND👏🏼WATCH 👏🏼TELEVISON !!

I’m so protective of her, stop😢😢

She doesn’t deserve that 💔

Sometimes I forget Patsy’s name is Patience

Fred’s Santa beard is gross ew😂😂

yikes an enema

I’d rather die

Oh no, there she goes *sings* there she goessss todayyy

Yes Babs lollipops are fascinating

She just slipped that baby out

I want to go to London at Christmas time

I love lights ✨✨

Delia! What up Bitch where you been!

BUT WAIT I HAVE A COAT THAT LOOKS REALLY SIMILAR TO MRS BUBSY’S LOL

It’s vintage too, i love it, makes me feel fabulous af

until I remember it’s probably a dead woman’s coat

WATCHING THEM LET THE BABY JUST HANG MAKES ME SO ANXIOUS OMG

“You clever girl!”

Aw poor iris 😭💔

Violet is actually so sweet & we don’t see much of her w/o Fred like why

Everyone on this show is so sweet and pure !!! I just love it too much!

remember when I was normal and didn’t care so much about television? Yea me neither 😅

Sister MJ is gone

ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO PUT UP THE TREE!!

that necklace and sapphire ring were so pretty though 😭 wish my mom had a sapphire ring for me to inherit

Shelagh is too pretty for this grey suit, where’s the navy one?!

I will never be comfortable with cookies being called biscuits tbh

“No dogs!” “If it can’t sing silent night I’m not interested” SHELAGH IS GOLDEN

SHE HAS SOME GREAT LINES BUT GIVE HER MORE !!

Oh Hay Peter

if you think about it Miranda Hart put this poor guy out of a job. Like he used to have more screen time lol but he can’t be around much with out her

“Very like a family in fact” 😭 I love when they call themselves family cause they are !!

Wait rehearsing before school? Ugh that must have been so early 😂

I couldn’t have been in that choir. In high school I woke up at 6:45am everyday & started at 8:05am & only lived 2 blocks away but I still got there at 9:15am 🙃

plus I’m an awful singer 😂

“She probably thought her habit would keep her safe”

Sister Mary Cynthia says that about her self the next series when she’s attacked 😢

Babs was right though! She was just excited bendito 😭😭

How much is a bob?? £??

I barely can keep up with how many $ is a £ tbh

Lolol had to check when I donated to Laura’s fundraising 😂😂

Delia has been with this big ass bun for 3 series as well

The cafe they’re in is aesthetically pleasing

so Delia’s mom is hella protective but didn’t notice she left to another town lol??

well I guess they’re even now since patsy left & then lost contact for a bit

LET ME TELL YOU, THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THIS EPISODE I WAS SCREAMINGGG

I THOUGHT THEY HAD KILLED SISTER MJ AND WAS FREAKING TF OUT ™

I’m trying to think of what Phyllis’s hat reminds me of

I wanna say Mary Poppins

IT’S NOT SISTER MJ👏🏼

I knew it wasn’t but still!!!

Is Shelagh wearing lipstick? i’m here for it!

but I don’t like her dress

@ wardrobe/costume ppl be nicer to my bby pls

“Well, there’s just a word that no-one likes singing. It’s in that line and it begins with a "b”’ 😂 lmaooo c'mon Tim 😂😂

He was talking about breast feeding like how many episodes ago why is he embarrassed now? 😂

Patrick laughing 😭 me as a parent tbh

Poor sickly Sister MJ 💔

My bbys Trixie and Shelagh are ¡interacting!! 💕😍

How do I get my hair to look like Trixie’s/Helen’s

SORRY CANCELED

Lol jk all will be well bby

SISTER MJ REALLY OUT HERE IN THE WOODS, LIKE HOW ??

Ah Shelagh’s dressed up again! Love it 😍 and she’s wearing earrings & matching pearls!! so pretty!! 💕💕

this has been an episode of gushing over Laura sorry not sorry

Look at her hat, she can wear anything

LMAO HE WASN’T EVEN PETER PAN GET OUT OF HERE MAN

You have to be impressed that this 80 yr old woman with dementia found her childhood home

for real though I want Shelagh’s coat

mrs willens + shelagh was kinda a friendship & was cute

“Well I stopped holding out against that happiness, didn’t I?"💔💖

people on this show are always holding hands platonically & romantically like how sweet and pure !?

"Almost all the world was before your time child … you are concerned to see it last a little longer”

Hell yea lets get it, round up the nuns and nurses lets SING !!

“But it sometimes seems to me the older I get, the more I have to learn” 😭

“We get so much out of love, we find strength in it and courage. Love is our foundation and our fuel”

DAMN IT WHY IS THE WRITING SO GREAT??!

HEIDI CAN WRITE MY EUOLGY SINCE SHE’LL BE THE CAUSE OF MY ACTUAL DEATH WHEN THIS SHOW IS OVER ONE DAY *WHICH IS HOPEFULLY NEVER, ..I MEAN DAYS OF OUR LIVES IS ON SEASON 50 SO IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE🙃🙃*

shelagh and sister j❤️❤️ so pure. I love their relationship + moments together

BUT I STILL *NEED* TRIXIE & SHELAGH TO HAVE A REAL FRIENDSHIP + ACTUAL SCENES TOGETHER

no sister, it’s not your fault that she ran away😢

broadcast about to be lit

Why did we never see Trixie giving Barbara a makeup lesson😭😂

Trixie getting excited about putting makeup on Babs like same 😂I like helping people with makeup *even though I’m not even that good haha*

“Oh some lipstick might be nice, with a touch of gay geranium you’d look quite like Jean Simmons” SISTER W SNEAKS OUT TO THE MOVIE THEATRE ON HER DAYS OFF AND NO ONE WILL CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE OK

PHYLLIS GARGLING OMG

WHY IS IT SO FUNNY 😂

yea sister E I’m sorry you were kinda bitchy

I’m sorry to call a fictitious nun a bitch oops lol

SHE’S GOING TO REDEEM HERSELF AND FIND SISTER MJ THOUGH SO IT’S OKAY!! 😭👏🏼👏🏼

Tom is so handsome! i think the collar distracts you from noticing though haha

What does wet behind the ears mean and why does it sound cringey?

on the next episode of I didn’t know I was pregnant: Christmas miracles in Poplar

No but for real it seriously was a show on TLC😂 I had a phase where I watched like every show on that channel

“Antonia! Nanny found a bible in your room again” so?? like you wish she would’ve found drugs or something?

Ugh I don’t think Sister MJ will live 3 more series & I WILL BE A WRECK™ WHEN SHE DIES

Surprise! you’re pregnant & will give birth in the next 12 mins before this show ends

imagine omg never mind not feeling safe Iris I’d be freaking tf out

I told you sister Julienne just shows up and speaks and you just feel calm

“Love is not going to be halved, but doubled” I swear someone says this again in another episode but I can’t remember

maybe I’m lying idk

The Fred + Sister E dynamic was golden

what is Sister Evangelina holding?

it looks like a bong tbh

Sister MJ saying pawning her mother’s jewels was an “interesting experience"😂 dios te bengida, she needs to always be protected

aw pats & deels reunited *and it feeelsss so gooddd*

Fred saying rigging this raffle is immoral like HE WASNT THE BIGGEST SCAMMER IN POPLAR

I was here for it though lol😂

Phyllis gargling 😂😂

Wait omg she has earrings on how precious!

I always notice when girls/women don’t have their ears pierced because I didn’t realize for the longest time that it’s mainly just hispanics that get their ears pierced when they’re babies😂 I’ve had mine since I was six weeks old👶🏼

"Beatrix Franklin, midwife of mystery” aka my bby and ray of sunshine✨😭

it’s all good though, Trixie has Christopher, Tom has Babs, now where’s my handsome Englishman??

cue Vanessa Redgrave

“Sometimes the route to joy is indirect, our journey home not quite as we expected. There is no magic star to guide our steps, no ancient prophecies to predict our way. The greatest gift is to know that we travel not alone, but in the company of others. That there are hands as can reach for and hearts to keep us warm..”

Laura’s angelic voice blessing™ me on this Saturday night

I need it after being degenerate every other day of the week

*sings loudly* CHRISTTTTTTTT THEEEE SAVIORRRR IS BORNNNNNN

AHH I WANT CHRISTMAS NOW ! + THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

patsy lowkey snuggled up on Phyllis I love it

Trixie is serving looks in the corner 😍!

I still want those hoop earrings she has!

And they finally got a tv😭👏🏼

“And the family gathered round, watching their faces flicker black and white. Their very presence in the room an act of love, a welcome home”

*BANGS FISTS ON AN IMAGINARY TABLE* THIS SHOW IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PURE AND IF YOU DISAGREE WE CAN FIGHT

I love it

Now I must go. until next time..

#who lets me do these lol #I dont stop #call the midwife #my commentaries™#i have too much time on my hands #but not really #i am certified trash for this show

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