#how to choose a therapist

[wisterianwoman]

How to Find the Right Therapist - From a Therapy Regular

Have you decided to go to therapy, but struggling to find the right therapist? Or maybe you're in therapy, and not sure if it's time to go your separate ways. This comprehensive guide was designed to help you wherever you are on your therapy journey.

Have you decided to go to therapy, but you’re struggling to find the right therapist? Or maybe you’re in therapy, and not sure if it’s time to go your separate ways. This comprehensive guide was designed to help you make the right choices for your mental health journey. Choosing the Right Therapist can be… tricky So you’ve finally decided it’s time to see a therapist. This is a great step…

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#choosing the right therapist #cognitive behavioral therapy #dbt #dialectical behavioral therapy #emdr #emdr therapy #healthy habits #how to choose a therapist #mbct #mbsr #mental health #mental health blog #mental health blogger #mental wellness #psychodynamic therapy #somatic therapy #therapist #therapist green flags #therapist red flags #types of therapy #Wellness #when to go to therapy

[goldenpinof]

genuine question, what is the issue with betterhelp?

bad therapists who do more harm than good (literally), bad treatment of therapists by the company regarding payment, and betterhelp is a zionist company.

the most recent video (i advise watching it, it's not very long but it recaps a lot of old problems people forgot about and mentions new ones):

#Dan as someone who knows how important therapy is should never let this company get into their sponsors list #even if 1 betterhelp therapist can say that someone should choose either their family or being gay. then fuck betterhelp #if they can't control who they work with. stop promoting them until they do. and until they stop taking down criticism #and the pro-israel staff is a completely different issue #answered #betterhelp #sponsors

[bluesadansey]

As a Kandreil enjoyer and known Kandrew lover, I think it’s weird and embarrassing as hell when Kandreil/Kevin stans who’s least favorite pairing in it is Andreil try to frame them prioritizing each other more and more as the series goes on as somehow insidious or toxic. Like, you can dislike the direction For Sure and wish it was written differently, but be honest that it’s because of Kevin being your favorite (perfectly valid, I also react disproportionately when my favorite character is hurt by something narratively vs when it’s other chars even if I like/love them) and has nothing to do with *problematic messages about romance* (BAH!) or whatever you are trying to frame it as being the concern instead. 

#especially funny when they’ll try to be like ‘it isn’t JUST about Kevin Andrew also chooses Neil over his family and that’s unhealthy!1!’ #the choosing Neil over his family in question being him and Aaron’s deal being null which is a positive for their relationship and they’re #in therapy together now (I mean you could poke some holes in how good a therapist Bee is but like. Definitely a healthier place than where #they were to start) #Andrew and Nicky are more distanced but honestly also a good sign for their boundaries in the future because that needs work #and Neil is very much closer to the other foxes by the end of the series than he has ever been. So what’s the truth lmao #I could write a detailed meta about the shifting dynamics and Andrew and Kevin in the last two books specifically but I’ll save that for #another day… #s speaks #also have thoughts on why the shift in prioritization occurs as it does for the characters #Aftg #and yes I’m most annoyed by this pattern because Andrew is my favorite and I acknowledge that #andrew minyard #kevin day #neil josten

[but-the-library-of-alexandria]

in 2024 I wanna stop hearing about betterhelp

#elise's posts #SO many youtubers etc I like are promoting this shit #fyi for those who don't know it's a REALLY unethical business trying to take advantage of the mentally ill #and before you say 'but how else am I meant to find a therapist that does online sessions' #post-pandemic most therapists offer this #and if you want the whole 'I can text my therapist for therapy anytime 24/7' thing... #sorry I know it might sound useful but it's SUPER bad for both your own mental health and your therapist's #sorry but therapists are not meant to be there for you 24/7 #that's not their job and it's really unhelpful for YOU to become dependant on a 24/7 therapist #betterhelp do not vet their therapists thoroughly #and some people say they have been evangelised to on betterhelp by preachers who ask the algorithm to assign them queer and atheist clients #many reputable therapists state that it's a terrible business model promoting unhealthy practices to patients #it claims to be the cheapest option but it's more expensive than the most expensive therapist I've ever had (I'm in the UK) #and significantly more expensive than the cheapest who was still good and probably more qualified than some people on betterhelp #you pay extra for the middleman #(being allocated a therapist you didn't choose and vet yourself isn't great anyway imo surely you want agency in this huge decision?) #and I'm sorry but pride counselling is a branch of the same company #please just look for therapists that specialise in your needs through a regulatory model and get in touch with them directly #not all of them have waitlists and tbh if every therapist on betterhelp is available whenever what does that say about them

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

Seeing your post about toxic doomed Yuri burgertron/spudmuffin changed my brainwaves. I read it and was like woahhh they ARE toxic doomed Yuri

there is a top 10 messiest breakups botvid and spud / burgertron are in the #1 spot and i will not be considering otherwise. they could have been THE power v-shaped polycule with ulf but fate aligned their destinies and it was not written in the stars . pouring one out for the combo meal of all time 😔✊

#botbots tag 🏪 #you've got mail 📬 #tf botbots #botbots #transformers botbots #i choose 3 believe burgertron Does miss spud btw. #it hurts him a lot and he DOES still keep the photo of them and ulf on his wall in his nest #idk how 2 describe it but it's like. just because he knows what he did was the correct thing #doesnt mean he Isn't going to grieve #spud isn't Dead but he mourns all the same #because he *lost* someone dear to him #there's also the aspect of me hcing burgs w/ bpd and spud was one of his FPs so after everything happens i hc he black and white splits -- #-- a lot because he's under a lot of duress (something i do when someone i love does something bad) #botbots dont have therapists so i think the rest of the lost bots'd help him out with that but i am not going to sugarcoat it #he is a DISASTER . (ENDEARINGLY) #and then there's the days he feels like a bad person for even being the reason this happened in the FIRST place #when it wasnt . it was never his entire fault and some of that blame DOES go to spud because he never took the liberty of just Asking #and yes burgertron didnt know but can you really blame someone for setting events in motion when theyre oblivious??? #he didnt know. he couldnt have #and that just adds to the tragedy of it. had burgertron known and spud just taken the appropriate course of action the show'd be different #but of course we all know it didnt go like that #i could talk about them for a while and the fallout of the games bc holy shit there is so much and they make me insane #THANK YOU for giving me an outlet 2 speak and im so glad i could open your eyes to burgerspud yuri #they are So tragic i hope they recover and go to therapy

[rackartyg]

i will never get over the perfect agony that is astarion being an elf who reveries, rather than sleeping. every single night is a trauma nightmare on steroids.

#it’s made even worse by how he literally doesn’t have ANY good memories prior to being tadpoled #so he has two centuries’ worth of steroid trauma nightmares and a few months of pleasant things to meditate on #and elves can’t choose what memories they re-experience and picking blindly out of a hat like that he’s so much more likely to get #something awful just purely because of the numbers #im. going insane #she speaks #arctic plays bg3 #astarion #🎶sitting in the waiting room to my therapist’s office🎶

[aropride]

one thing i just do not fucking get is the difference between "regulating emotions" and "suppressing emotions" i cannot get my head around how those are different. like if im sad and then i go "well im not going to be sad anymore" that's "dissociating" and "suppressing healthy emotions" but if im sad and im like "well im going to cry until i actually pass out" that's "not healthy" and it's BAD to suppress emotions but it's ALSO BAD to get super upset so WHAT IS THE SECRET THIRD THING cuz i do not fucking get it. "feel your feelings But not that way that's not healthy feel your feelings but less than that" ???????

#text #IT'S DRIVING ME UP A WALL IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR MOTNHS #LIKE????? is it like. like is this a me problem is this just me having feelings that are too big #like do other people just.. like for other people does 'feel your feelings' just mean like. feel sad for a while and then stop. cuz i cant #do that i dont get normal sad i get chest pain and think about killing my self for hours on end .is that the problem #like okay if i trip down the stairs and break my leg. im going to cry and go to the hospital. suppressing that would be just using my #broken leg anyway and ignoring it. would regulating it not also be Crying and going to the hospital. would regulating it be like.. putting #a bandaid on it or something is it like.. a middle ground . i do not fucking get it #like okay if i trip down the stairs and i scrape my knee and then i call an ambulance i see how thats not the right response . and i guess #regulating there would be like. calming down thinking things thru and choosing a less drastic solution like a bandaid. i get it #in that situation. but if ive ACTUALLY BROKEN MY LEG. then that would just be the first thing again essentially #but when i put that back into. real world not metaphor world. like. i dont get it again #because if theres not like. an obvious reason for however i feel how am i supposed to judge if im calling an ambulance for a scraped knee #ALSO I THOUGHT THERE 'ARENT ANY WRONG EMOTIONS' WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT -_- #okay no okay it's like. if i trip down the stairs and i skin my knee i dont have to call an ambulance. but if several times a day i fall d #down the stairs and skin my knee in that exact spot and now i can see bone. SHOULD I NOT CALL AN AMBULANCE? #cuz its not just one thing thats upsetting me most of the time it's a combination of a bunch of things and then like one extra upsetting #thing added on top of that. which would necessitate an ambulance. does this make sense #THIS IS GETTING ME NOWHERE IM STILL JUST AS CONFUSED AS I WAS BEFORE I STARTED TYPING. i need 2 remember 2 ask my therapist #what the fuck ''feel your feelings'' means and how it can coexist with ''regulating feelings'' or whatever cuz i feel like im missing smth #NIK OUT ! PEACE ! ✌️

[thedreadvampy]

idk I had a very interesting therap today but I just

like it's all very well to recognise that I gotta have a fucking open-ended breakdown and jump face first into the Sadness Bog sometimes instead of sitting on all my feelings

but like

I still have to go to work, you know? it's like. ok yeah have a breakdown which like until you jump into it you don't know if it's going to last an hour or a year. yeah go ahead that's all grand. you do have to get up in the morning and go to work though. you're not allowed to not do that. or to not pay the rent or not shower or not eat.

like all my friends and loved ones are constantly like 'you know you're allowed to be sad right' and it's like. AM I??? because I STILL HAVE TO PAY RENT.

#red said #the thing my therapist keeps pointing out is like. i got on this adulthood thing WAY too early #metaphorically i have Had To Go To Work In The Morning since i was like. 4. bc i am congenitally incapable of #Not Thinking About Consequences. and it's so important to be Good and Tough and Have It Together #but like. maybe if id done more crying and melting down when i DIDN'T Have To Go To Work In The Morning bc i was a Literal Infant #i might be a more balanced adult now that i actually DO. Have To Go To Work In The Morning. #what do people like. do. when they have to have feelings but also meet adult responsibilities? impossible. gotta choose. #i think it doesn't help that i already really struggle to work a full time job. like I'm already late basically every day bc i a night guy #so it's like. there's no give in this. maybe if i was back into a 3-4 day week? but idk if i can afford that #but also the work is only partly work. it's also like. having human relationships. eating. washing. being a person. #but idk. like. until i have some genuinely open-ended time i think I'm gonna always find it impossible to actually let go #i said in therapy it's like. like sadness specifically is like a thick muddy bog. and i can dip a foot in it #but bc i know i need to be able to keep moving #i can only stick a foot in and deal with a bit of it if I'm holding onto something. so in practise i can only cry #right before it becomes inappropriate to cry. so like. end of a therapy session. heading to a train station after seeing someone. #that kind of thing. it's a safety thing. #it would be much more effectively Dealing With to go dive into the bog and plough through it #but I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THAT'LL TAKE and i have to like. come out all muddy and deal with that #and there's always somewhere i gotta be soon. i can't just jump into the mud. not cause I'll get hurt i just Don't Have Time #anyway. feelings. how do they work. embarrassed about having them. embarrassed about suppressing them. generally just embarrassed.

[punch-love]

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for Wade, the amount of canon time they share doesn't matter?

17. What's a ship for Peter you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

26. If you were a therapist for them both individually: what homework would you give Wade and Peter (separately) to help them?

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for Wade, the amount of canon time they share doesn't matter?

I really don't like most of his canonical friends because I think they are written to match him occupationally but not emotionally. It's like they're mean work friends more than actual, genuine friends who have anything in common with him outside of being pretty chill with murder and making money from said murder.

My favorite is probably Rogue because there's a commonality in "untouchability" and having a power you never really asked for/that you would have never chosen. I think Wade is the type to always fall in love and/or flirt with his friends because of his personality, but he doesn't really seek out people that play the same narrative role as him. I think he goes after people who are ideals more than people, or scumbags who don't make him feel bad about himself. Rogue is kind of an outlier as her existence is both something she didn't consent to, and irreversibly tragic. I think their conversations would carry an extra weight, and he'd be able to be emotionally understood in ways most of his other partners simply would never be able to relate to. Also, Rogue, is the person he trusts with big things. His daughter's protection and safety in particular. I don't think they'd actually realistically spend a lot of time together/hang out (and in my head, Spider-Man is still the perfect character to fit that role) but on an emotional level, I think Rogue would be my pick.

17. What's a ship for Peter you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

This question is worded so weirdly lol but SpideyTorch is my favorite secondary Peter ship. I think he should only fuck his homies (and when he doesn't, those relationships always crash and burn because you kind of have to be his friend to really know what you're getting into)

26. If you were a therapist for them both individually: what homework would you give Wade and Peter (separately) to help them?

I would hate this job so much. Oh my god. I'm recoiling. I don't really want to put myself in the headspace of anyone's therapist, much less them, but I guess if I was held at gunpoint then I would buy them both journals and print out some question/answer sheets for them to separately fill out inside their journals. I would give Wade sheets centered around shame, people pleasing, and guilt and I would give Peter ones around martyrdom, idenity, and interpersonal relationships. I don't know if it would fix them, but I think they both could stand to be more aware of their own patterns.

#mailbox #ask game #me: as your therapist I think you should fix yourself and not involve me at all #I love complaining about how much I dislike Wade's canonical friendships and that was a good headscratcher #I should write more fic with Rogue being someone that Wade is n contact with #they just interest me #cable and spider-man are an obvious reason but. cable is more of a toxic ex best friend and spider-man is like. #i couldn't choose him lol #thanks for the questions bro

[torchickentacos]

anyways. having fun with the album project thing I mentioned. Using the flat small brush from here for krita. One brush only, no undo button, all done on 1/54th of a 1.5k x 1k canvas. it's actually pretty therapeutic, I listen to the album I'm drawing while I draw it. This does mean that for AM I got to like. track 2 though and most of that was bc of formatting issues lol.

#vent in tags though bc i need. somewhere that isn't yet another 4:30 am vent google doc. too many of those and they're not helping #i don't want to talk but i don't want to be fully alone right now but i can't just spring this on someone in dms either so . tags it is #tw death. like really not a fun time over on torchickentacos dot tumblr dot com right now. genuine warning here #but i'm not doing well and i need this right now. anyways told my therapist i feel like i should be more okay right now than I am #and he was like. you. think you should be MORE okay after someone you knew died? #like. ah. hm. i see. now. how that might not be rational thinking. #i mean in my brain it was like. okay we're approaching day three and i haven't reached back out to my other irls #and i'm awake at 4 am #and i feel like need to pull it together because other people need me for stuff #and like. this happened before but harder. i should KNOW that there's no way to expedite this #because unfortunately I've been through this before!!! people make that choice to leave and it sucks and that's that! #like i KNOW how hard this is especially since it's a very personal topic. #but i'm still trying to rush myself here #it stresses me out to think that I'm not there enough for myself to be there for other people right now #sigh. i wonder how much of it's because i feel like i should have been there for those friends more even though it's irrational. #because that's genuinely not how it fucking works and I KNOW THAT PERSONALLY yet I still put that on myself. #people can have all the support they need and still choose to not take it. and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. #well. tomorrow i return to socializing and being a human person again #little bit at a time.

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

...WHY ARE FOLK SO MEAN WTF 😭😭

#what in gods name did that lad do to make you THAT ragin oh my goodness #mate. if someone aggrivates you that much- go talk to your therapist about it #dont. yk. wish death on them online 😭😭 #seriously what happened to going for a nice long walk #or having a bloody cuppa #or a candlelit bath listening to barry white or summat for christ sake- #just- dont be a div?? #i will never understand how folk wake up in the morning and choose to just be so rude to other people LIKE HOW #anyway ill shut up now

[chappellrroan]

guys someone really thinks they can fix me

#in his defense he's the so normal it's baffling like even after everything that's happened to him #he is what you'd aspire to be. normal as a compliment. #and an aspiring therapist #and i have been given certain instructions like how to fix my sleep schedule avoid drowning myself in media to stop feeling anything #how to stay hydrated #and in evening we'll conduct investigation on my eating habits #this is so hilariously adorable to me #like yes sure pls go on try #also i am forbidden from touching caffeine #this is what you get when you choose bestfriends carefully #v.txt

[skiploomz]

i hate the trend of organizations using “inclusive” language that is actually not inclusive at all. this is not what inclusion is.

#inclusion would be not making it mandatory to choose your gender at all. #also fuck anything that has ''male'' or ''female'' AND ''transmale'' and ''transfemale'' its so fucking othering i HATE it. #im looking 4 therapists rn and even individual solo therapist websites fall to this shit. even when theyre made by queer people #maybe its just a preference thing but this kind of shit drives me away from queer sites. i want a cishet therapist now. #btw this isnt a rant on how i hate that there are 1000 options for ur gender and that i hate nonbinary identities or something. #the rant is abt the fact that everyones relationship to gender is unique and that the entire concept of being nonbinary is #that your gender isnt just one option or the other. nonbinary gender is about not being able to select ur gender when asked bc nonbinary #can be anything and everything. #and here we are instead of abolishing needing to select ur gender to access a service we just put more boxes for u to put urself in <3

[themarychain]

attachment disorder go brrr

(uhh tw for tags if anyone cares to read)

#literally why do we as beings experience unrequited love? it’s a waste of love and care and energy. it makes us bitter and angry #and fills us with resentment. Why does my mind/body choose to love someone who doesn’t want it or deserve it?? #it makes me want to kill him. I love him but I want to kill him. does this make sense #we understand each other…. He used to want me too and now he just? doesn’t anymore? for no reason? #I can’t understand it #I need to talk to my therapist again cause intrusive thoughts are so bad I can’t even focus #but idk how to even bring this up to her without sounding scary. that I literally fantasize about kidnapping him #I wouldn’t actually ofc - im actually kind of scared of him now after his rejection - but I Want to #like. you don’t get to tell me you want me and then throw me away !!!!! that’s reliving the worst experience of my life!! #and i Don’t accept being unwanted. I dont

[lupismaris]

No one gets under your skin and makes you feel sick quite like your siblings, and there's no numbness quite like the feeling of having to put a boundary firmly in place with a wide open door for them to walk through should they see it for one

#ive not always been a good older sibling to my brother and i know that. ive owned up for it and apologized and made myself open. #so that we can mend what fractured relationship we have should he choose. #but he fixates on my refusal to play nicely with family that has not done right by me for the whole of my life and bases #the entirety of our potential relationship and the memory of out mother on that on the fact i wont play nice with her kin #because they have not ever fully accepted me save for my uncles which is a new thing. and ive made my boundaries about this clear #and he pushes and pushes and says if we come together as a family it'll ease his grieving and we'll all heal together #but thats just disregarding my own boundaries and trauma in exchange for catering to the comforts of himself and the family #ive given up fighting him on that #but i asked him simply that if he needs me or wants to tell me something to just call me pr text me directly it can be short n sweet #but not to go to our parents. its insulting. ive always answered his calls. even when we fight pr have a failed mediation i always answer #and he immediately made it about how my boundaries are unacceptable so why should he bother #i give up. i know i was arrogant at 26. i know i was. i was probably cruel too. but i had made myself a doormat at the same time. #all i told him was he never bothered to talk to me as my brother or ask my about our mother without the lens of her kin #it was always about them never just about her. it was never about us as siblings just about our aunts and uncles and grandparents #he never crossed the road and came to me and said can we talk about ma and I reminded him of that. never a conversation just #him playing court jester/therapist and ignoring boundaries over and over. and even then i always answered the phone #so i told him he can pivot and change the subject all he wants. but the point of this was that if he needs me i answer. #and should he need me i will answer. but if he continues this behavior of backhanded communication #ill know he doesnt respect me and doesnt see me as his sibling because ive asked him plainly to speak to me #im fuckin tired. you try with people and they just... bait you. #the fact he looked at me and said our relatives are all he has left of ma and im his sibling will never not feel like a salted wound tbh

[appreciatingtokrev]

two of my fav character dynamics rn are "hurt x hurt, they neither make eachother worse nor better and nothing happens bc they don’t put the effort into it" and "hurt x hurt, they neither make eachother worse nor better but they both heal alongside eachother bc they do put the effort into it"

#hurt x hurt. they both see The Person They Love(d) in eachother and cope by projecting #honorable mention is #that one is already so good if one of them is projecting but if it’s both.. mhmm #then we just have koko x mikey lol. or kakucho x mikey (one of my personal favs) #i mean c’mon #mikey literally fucking looks like izana you can’t tell me kakucho doesn’t project him onto the other #and mikey projecting draken onto kakucho? yes #same with kokonoi projecting inupi onto mikey. or maybe they just find comfort in the misery that the ones they love are lovers now #draken and inupi i mean. obviously #anyways hurt x hurt who heal is any combination of kakucho kokonoi and kazutora #i’m a little insane about those three atm. hope that explains #it’s just. characters who’s name starts with k.... hhh #and i choose to believe that they all have the same but very different issues with the same but very different response #idk how to explain but it makes sense okay #the kazu/koko hurt/comfort fic i’m writing rn helps explaining it lol #i just think they’d find comfort in eachother. they can vent to eachother without judgement and p much be eachothers therapist #bc i am convinced they both refuse to see one #also i obv had to sprinkle the (platonic for this one. actually) tension between kazufuyu into the fic bc. yeah #and then chifuyu took the wheel kazutora mentioned baji and suddenly it’s not just a sprinkle anymore but a whole subplot. welp. it happens #sorry for the shameless promotion (again) of my unpublished fic. i’m really proud of the parts i’ve written yet okay #and they deserve content #they deserve the world actually but yk #can’t give them everything at once now can i #kakucho too. he also deserves the world #i am so insane about fictional men help #tokyo revengers #tokrev