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americaswritings · 6 months

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Voices of Roses and Ruin | Part III

Warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of killing, mentions of torture, Coriolanus being himself

Summary: Coriolanus realizes he's still a part of the Capitol's games and that your life is the prize.

Words: around 3k

Pairing: Young Coriolanus Snow x reader

A/N: I never expected this to turn into a story, but here we are! I really hope you enjoy it!! Also I'm halfway through the book now and planning to watch the movie (in English then) again afterwards! I'm so excited!! :)

If you have ideas for Coriolanus oneshots I would love to hear from you (or if you just feel like ranting about the movie, the world of Panem, the characters, Tom Blyth...lol)

Can be read as Lucy Gray x Coriolanus Snow here

Part I | Part II | Masterlist

All Coriolanus had wanted was to follow you that night.

Seeing you in the arena had been painful. Watching them use his voice to torment you had been worse. And thinking he would never see you again had topped it all.

But watching you walk away from him? That was a new kind of pain.

Everyone left Coriolanus life. First his mother and his little sister. Then his father had followed. All he had left were the Grandma'am and Tigris, but it didn't feel that way with them so far away.

But here he could have you, if he allowed himself it. And God how he wanted to. His days as a peacekeeper were dull and lifeless, but you had brought colour and a flicker of hope into his life.

There had never been the choice between you and the scholarship, but suddenly there was and he didn't know how he could decide between the path he had always firmly believed was his and the girl he had never seen coming.

But there too many reasons holding him back. You belonged to different worlds. That would never change.

It was a cruel kind of knowledge.

Every time he tried to forget about you he awoke sweating. You haunted his dreams.

The look of betrayal on your face as you had realized he would return to the capitol. That even after he had admitted they had used his own voice to manipulate you, he would still go back and pretend it hadn't happened. That he was still the same boy.

He dreamed about your body. About sacred moments of peace and quiet the two of you, the outside world forgotten. About your laugh and the spark in your eyes and that you would fall asleep and wake up in his arms.

He dreamed about every scenario involving your death his brain seemed to come up with. Death in the arena. Death because he had manipulated your chances. Death because he had let you go.

When he heard Tigris voice for the first time since he had been sent to the districts over the phone the relief almost made him cry. He wished he could tell her about his conflicted emotions, but he couldn't risk anyone overhearing him.

Besides, he didn't know if he could ever admit to her the true extent of his feelings. It was embarrassing that of all people he had fallen for a weak girl from the district.

But you were so much more than that to him. It was why it had been so painful to watch you go. Because until that moment some part of him seemed to have hold onto the improbable hope that you would start a life in the capitol together.

As the winner of the games he had assumed it could be possible. That people respected you enough that he could be seen with you and that you wouldn't be forced to return to your life of shreds and dirt.

But you had shown him that this was no future you could ever imagine. And just as you weren’t willing to change for him, he couldn’t do it for you either. Even though you loved each other your love was not enough.

But then why did it hurt so much?

"Everything okay?", he asked Tigris to distract himself from his thoughts. It was another worry that made his heart heavy, the one for his family. Their money was still as tight and with him gone there was not much he could do for them now.

He earned too little, could barely pay for his own foot and housing. Was this how the people in the districts felt? Stuck in a constant loop of worry, fear and work that would never pay off? Unlike them he would never accept such a fate. Unlike them he didn’t belong here.

"We're okay." He heard an edge to Tigris voice, "but there's something you should know about."

His posture stiffened and he gazed around, making sure no one was there. "What is it?"

"Everyone's talking about you and the girl in the capitol." His fingers clenched around the steel. "What are they saying?"

"Never in the history of the games did the gamemakers ever do what they did there with your voice." "He was aware of it, so he waited for her to elaborate. "But why use your voice? The voice of her mentor. Why not someone from her family, someone she cares about?"

To hear Tigris say that you didn't care about him, that he was nothing more than your mentor hurt, but he pushed the anger away. "She doesn't really have family left. And she trusts me. So it makes sense."

"Then why did they only use it on her? Why didn't they try to manipulate anyone else?"

He let out an impatient sigh. "I don't know. They didn't tell me they would do it. But it was our task to make our tributes trust us and I was the only one who succeeded."

"But they didn't, Coryo."

Momentarily he forgot what he was about to say and took in a breath. What was Tigris implying? "It was your task to be a good mentor. Get the people's attention and make them root for her. But making her trust you was your decision."

"Didn't you tell me I should do it?" He sounded tired and accusing and he knew his cousin heard it in his voice. "Yeah, but I didn't expect-", she trailed of and he waited for her to continue, frustrated when he realized she wouldn't.

"She really trusts you, you know that, right?" He was growing more irritated with this conversation by the second. "I think I did a good job, if that's what you're asking."

"My God Coryo, that's not what I mean!" She exhaled loudly at the other side. "We all saw how scared she was for you. For her mentor. For someone from the capitol."

Her words were another reminder how different the two of you were. He hated it.

"We all saw that you care about her too. You kept visiting her. You two talked so much even when the cameras weren't near and everyone who was in the same room saw how terrified you were for her in the arena. And then, against all odds, she wins and you disappear without another word."

She was speaking softer now, probably expecting the defensiveness he felt rising in him. She knew him well. "They gave me a task. I did what I had to. That's all."

Tigris was silent for a moment. "Even if it were true, you did your job a little too well. The people are obsessed with it! With you and her, the idea of a love story between a mentor and their tribute. A Snow and the girl from ashes."

Tigris was speaking slowly, like she was afraid she was overwhelming him with the news and her tone was grave and serious. It was the polar opposite to the hope he felt.

It wasn't the narrative he would have chosen, but a story meant attention and attention meant relevance. If it was true and Tigris was right, they couldn't keep him hidden in the districts much longer.

People wouldn't just accept the two of you together, they would demand it.

His lips curled into a smile. He could have never imaged a better way to get out of here and to convince you to come with him. What reason did you have to say no now?

"Then why do you sound so fearful?"

Tigris took in a deep breath.

"It's the people that love it. You know how they are, always looking for gossip and a good story to keep them entertained enough to forget about their own miserable lives. But-", she paused, "the people are not the capitol. Everyone who's got something to say in Panem hates it. It sends the wrong message, Coryo. That the people from the capitol and the people from the district could be equals. The whole point of the hunger games is to demonstrate supremacy and power. They don't want a girl from a district turning into a star and having a sweet little romance with one of their own."

His smile faded. He felt his heart pounding in his chest and suddenly the room was too small, the walls to high. With each second it was getting harder to breathe. The uniform- he needed to get out of this damn uniform!

"Coryo?"

Tigris voice sounded far away as he struggled between losing himself to his fears and keeping a composed and prideful image.

He had realized the situation he was in was far from ideal before, but having the capitol, the very people he needed to impress as his enemy could- no would destroy his whole life!

And yours too.

The future he had just seen before his eyes ruined by words of love.

"What do you think they'll-", he still couldn't catch his breath. He needed these peoples on his side, not against him. How had he ended up here, so useless and powerless?

No! He needed to keep it together! He would get through this, like he always did. He would find a way to make this work for him or if there was none, he would come up with something else...

He was smart and his name still meant something. Snow always lands on top.

"I don't know what they’ll do." Tigris answered his question without him having to finish it. The worry in her voice did nothing to quieten his own. "But it's only a matter of time until they will have to act. I just- I wanted to warn you, Coryo."

He nodded, more to himself than her. "I will be fine." He had regained his composure and his voice was perfectly emotionless.

"I am worried for you. I think they might try to-"

He would never find out, if Tigris suspicions had been right, because before she could finish her sentence the call cut off.

Had they listened again?

Was he even safe here anymore?

Two more days passed before they came for him.

Two days he had spent pondering his choices yet felt no confidence as he stepped in front of the commander. His posture was as straight and effortless as always, so one would have guessed he was secretly far from calm.

He had expected to meet his superior in an official building, something elegant, if that even existed in the districts, but instead he was led to a distant part of a warehouse, where the lights flickered and spider webs hung heavy.

Coriolanus saluted in front of the man, then waited patiently for him to speak. He hoped no one could see past his guard, noticed how fast his heart was beating.

"I was informed about certain rumours circling the streets of the capitol these days. I take it you have heard about them too?"

He gave a short nod, forcing his face to remain blank. The man, who he assumed to be in his late fifties took a step closer. His hair was completely grey, except for one white strand. It gave him an upper look that didn't suit the scenery of the district.

Was he from the capitol? He wasn't dressed like it though; he was wearing the peacekeeper uniform, but something told Coriolanus it was a disguise of his real power. The capitol liked their games.

"So what do you think?"

"I think-", he began, but his voice got interrupted by a painfilled scream. His eyes flickered to the door, but it was locked, either side guarded by a peacekeeper. None of them moved and when he turned back to the commander he simply weaved his hand, urging him to continue.

Coriolanus swallowed, taken off-guard by the noise but pulling himself together. "I think it's just that- rumours. Eventually the public will take an interest in different news."

"Ahh, so you don‘t think such a narrative could have an impact on the political climate both in the districts and the caption? That it could send the wrong image?“

Coriolanus pressed his lips together. “I believe-“, but again a cry disrupted his attempt at an answer. It could not be a coincidence that they had chosen this place to talk to him. It had probably been arranged to shaken his composure and unsettle him. He hated to admit that it worked.

It was probably just a thief, paying for her sins. No one that deserved his attention. Yet it was unnerving, a subtle reminder just how quickly he could manoeuver himself into the same position.

“Oh don‘t tell me that’s bothering you?” The man in front of him raised his brows. “You should be familiar with the sound of traitors. So what is it you wanted to say?“

Coriolanus straightened his shoulders, but this time the sound was louder, clearer. It was a scream that cut through the air and it was one he knew too well.

No.

“Mr. Snow, what was it you were saying?“

He blinked in irritation and straightened his shoulders when he realized his loss of posture.

“I was saying that the capitol could own it. Make it their own narrative. A tribute developing…an infatuation“, he felt sick, “with her mentor could be-“ Another scream. He felt his composure crumble. The man tilted his head. He was silently laughing about him, Coriolanus was certain about it. “…helpful“, he finished, clearly distracted by the background noises.

They sounded too familiar, had been the sound of his many nightmares and a silent fear crept up his spine.

What if this was real? What if it wasn‘t his mind playing tricks on him, making everything about you? Seeing, hearing you everywhere..

“So you affirm that this- infatuation as you call it is one-sided and you hold no feelings for you tribute?“

Coriolanus lifted his chin. “I merely did my job. I earned the public’s attention and got them interested in the games again. I turned a tribute with no chances into a winner.“

“So you‘re saying the girl doesn‘t mean anything to you?“

He put on a smile that didn‘t reach his eyes. “I assure you and everyone in the capitol that I do not have any connection to the girl beyond the mentorship and that I have no interest or care for her fate now that I completed my task.“

He had always tried to mask the truth or bend it when he felt he needed to, but lying was a different kind of game. One he felt he was losing.

He could tell himself he did this to protect you. But the reality was that he didn’t know if he did.

No, he had to think of his own life now. It was better this way. He had helped save your life once. Now it was time for you to walk your own path.

“Coriolanus!“ He flinched. It was too late to pretend he hadn‘t, everyone had seen it, but he couldn‘t not react when he heard your desperate voice calling his name.

This whole time his instinct had told him that he was right. That the sounds belonged to you and this was more than just a set-up to unnerve him.

It was a trap.

“What is this?“ His voice came out too sharp and he willed himself to remain calm, but it was impossible, if you were here and you were hurt.

“Oh, it should not be of concern for you as you just told us you do not have any interest in the girl‘s fate.“

Had he just said that? In his head it had sounded much more- convincing. But hearing his own words reflected back to him just made him realise how pathetic they sounded.

They could not be farer from the truth.

“As her mentor I would like to know what you are accusing her of“, he tried a different approach, but it was senseless.

“Oh but Mr. Snow, she is not your tribute anymore. Like you said there is no connection between you and the girl.“

His commander took a step towards him. “Now tell me, which one is the lie?“

Coriolanus swallowed. It took all of him to stand still and keep himself from running after your voice. His body was trembling from the effort. Too long he had been trapped behind a screen, unable to do anything to help you.

But here he could.

Another scream broke the silence. Despite his will he flinched again and closed his eyes for a moment, willing himself to stay strong, remain unaffected. But with each sound he felt himself losing control and a hatred took over his instinct.

“I personally believe you have been lying to us for a long time now, Coriolanus. I can see it on your face. But I would like to hear it out of your own mouth.“

Another step closer. Another cry.

“Say it.“

Coriolanus clenched his jaw, his hands balling into fists.

“SAY IT!“

His fist connected with the man’s jaw before he could even think about what he was doing. He saw the other two peacekeepers at the door reaching for their weapons, but he was faster and had shot them with his own in an instant.

Without another look at them he ran for the door, following your pleas. His heart was racing as he raced through the corridors and tried to locate where it was coming from.

Hopefully he wasn‘t too late. No, he couldn‘t think like that! Yet the thought of what he might get to see tore at him. He should have acted sooner, he should have- killed these men before they even got the chance to open their mouths. It had been a lost game from the beginning and he was done being their paying piece.

“Coriolanus!“

He had almost made it. Just another room…

Coriolanus pushed it open with so much force that the door crashed against the wall and broke out of its hinges.

Breathing heavily and sweating he came to an abrupt stop and took in the room. It was small, dimly lit, empty. He took a step forward, his eyes fixed on the only thing in the room. It was a table and on it-

A cage with a bird.

Part IV

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fairycheol · 8 months

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enhypen as boyfriends

이희승

Heeseung is the type of boyfriend who likes to playfully flirt with you in public just to get a reaction out of you. It’s a habit he’s had since before you started dating.

But with his teasing comes his never ending urge to protect and take care of you, doesn’t matter if it’s pulling you to the inside of a sidewalk, tying your shoes for you, and making sure you are eating regularly.

And trust if he finds out you’ve skipped a meal, he’s sitting you down and personally hand feeding you everything.

Arguments between you two rarely occur and when they do happen it’s usually over something small, like forgetting to text him good morning or give him a kiss goodbye.

This man is so dramatic he once ignored you for an entire week because you mistook one of Jake’s hoodies as his (｡-_-｡)

All in all he just wants you to be happy with him, and he’s willing to do pretty much anything to make sure you feel that way.

박종성

Jay I think is more of a silent lover. He’s not screaming “I love you!” in your face 24/7 like some of the other members, but that doesn’t necessarily mean his love for you is any less.

He prefers showing his love for you by putting his black card to use no matter how much it may annoy you. Jay’s rich tho, so he has no problem dropping 1k dollars for you when he wants.

And while the expensive bouquet of flowers and fancy restaurant dates are nice, Jay also knows how to plan a more relaxed dinner date.

He’ll put his cooking skills to use and make a cute little picnic just for you, complete with activities like painting or stargazing.

You also didn’t hear this from me but, Jay is an extreme cuddlier. I’m talking straight up will put you in a chokehold just to keep you from getting up and leaving him in the freezing cold.

Kind of want my own silent lover Jay now ☹️

심재윤

Oh lord where do i even begin with Jake.

I guess i’ll start off by saying that he loves showing you off. I’m talking will go up to random strangers in a 7/11 to say things like,

“this is my girlfriend? isnt she so pretty?” and then he proceeds to get upset if the person agrees or says nothing at all like okay 💀

Then you have to yell at him for drawing to much attention to you when you have on disney pajama pants and the first sweater you could find from off your dirty floor, but he still insists you look great.

Apart from that he’s not afraid of being affectionate in public, he’ll hug you, hold your hand, and kiss you at any given moment. He still knows when to keep a respectable amount of distance between you two, especially if you begin to show signs of discomfort.

This man would be so in love it’s actually sickening, he stares at you like you made the universe. (cue Niki dramatically gagging in the background)

박성훈

The two of you are either polar opposite’s or the exact same in terms of personality but otherwise, star-crossed lovers. That’s exactly what you guys are.

Sunghoon I think is a perfect combination of what Jay and Jake are as boyfriends. He’s quiet but can get really loud with his affection whenever he wants.

Café dates are a must. He enjoys the peacefulness of sitting together drinking coffee and talking about how you’re both feeling.

I get the feeling his favorite form of physical affection is hugging you, getting to feel the warmth from your body and the way you nuzzle into his neck makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

He’ll never admit this to you but he loves being woken up with kisses onto the moles that decorate his pale skin. He’s faked being asleep at least 10 times just to get some kisses and bask in the warmth of it all.

김선우

Sunoo is probably the most energetic lover out of all the enhypen members. Nothing and i mean absolutely nothing can stop him from letting it be known just how happy he is to have you in his life.

He loves any and all kinds of dates, baking dates? loves it. stay at home dates? he’s got snacks ready. fancy dates? oh he’s going ALL OUT.

Taking pictures of the two of you is another favorite of his. His camera roll is 90% just you. He tears up a little when he has to make room for camera storage cause he wants to cherish your memories together on his phone.

I think he’s also very big on keeping you well fed. He’s always making trips to the store and buying your favorite snacks so you never run out.

Physical affection is another big thing for him, he wants you to feel his love not just through his words and actions but quite literally through his body too.

He’s a perfect boyfriend.

양정원

Jungwon, Jungwon, Jungwon, our lovely leader is def a shy lover. He’s quiet but his actions speak a lot louder than words.

He basks in the warmth of your love and affection. He’s exactly like a cat, YOU kind of have to do all the work but it’s honestly not as bad as it sounds.

He lives for dates in the park, getting to walk around and find a good place to set up your picnic makes him very happy for some reason.

And trust me when i say he has fallen asleep on your lap a good number of times, but he can’t help it! he just gets all warm and happy around you.

I do think because of his leader instincts he’s very protective of you. One time you scraped your knee at the park and my guy was running around almost in tears ready to fight the pebble you tripped on.

He eventually calmed down enough to get some bandaids from a near by store and fix you up. He insisted on carrying you all the way home and was some how successful on doing so.

西村力

He’s your concert/trip buddy. You two will go anywhere and everywhere together it kind of annoys the members but hey, young love.

He once spotted you at one of their tour stops in the U.S. and he almost lost his mind. Fans got suspicious as to why he began to pay so much attention to the section you were sitting in.

Niki likes to facetime you at random parts of the day just to annoy you, jkjk he does it cause he wants to talk with you. Being around the hyungs for so long makes him miss you and feel lonely but he’ll never admit that.

He more often then not will sneak you into the practice room to show off his dancing and will ask for your opinion afterwards.

It’s mandatory that you give him a kiss everytime he does something good or else he gets upset 😠

All in all he’s just happy to have someone to call his home away from home.

#enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen drabbles #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen soft hours

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colormepurplex2 · 3 months

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In Memory of Him | It's Cold In Here

↳ Florist!Taehyung x Artist!f.Reader ⤜ Non-Idol, Late Husband's Best Friend ⤜ Rating: MA 🔞 ⤜ WC: 13,558 ⚠️ Mild language, death/loss of a loved one, deep depression, high anxiety, loads of guilt, hidden feelings, realizations, hurt feelings, repressed feelings, hurt/comfort

Next Chapter⇾ (coming soon!) ◅ Back to story masterlist

With trembling fingers, you smooth out the letter that you found attached to a bundle of flowers on your doorstep.

To the love of my life, For after the funeral Take a deep breath, baby, I know it’s not easy. Even as I sit and write this, I can feel your energy in the next room. You’re always such a worrier, I’m sorry I’ve added to that. It’ll all be better soon, I promise. But, I know you and I know that you’ll pull away, you’ll cut yourself off…and we can’t have that, now can we? You have to keep going if we’re to stay connected even after I’m gone.

So, here’s the first of a collection of some things that you can hold and look back on when the storm starts to roll in. There are only so many words in existence to describe what you mean to me. So, instead of words, I want you to remember these feelings: Warmth - like the sun on your face while you read a great book Satisfaction - the way you sigh softly after a good, lazy day in bed Contentment - waking up with a smile on your face every morning Peace - that moment of quiet before the rain starts, when the scent of petrichor filters in These are all the things you’ve brought into my life the last seven years. I’ve never been able to look at the sun, sleeping, smiles, or storms the same. Never did I imagine I’d meet and marry such a beautiful, kind-hearted soul with a genuinely unique outlook on life. I never had to be reminded to smile because it just came so naturally whenever you were around. You have brought so much light into my world and gave me the best years of my life. You also gave me Sujin, the perfect little replica of myself even if you think he looks more like you than me (I secretly agree, but that’s not something I’ll admit outloud). When I look at our wonderful son, I’m reminded of the beauty that first drew me to you all those years ago. Being his father is the second greatest achievement of my life, the first being making you fall madly in love with me…don’t laugh, you know it’s true. Many people see things in black and white, a beginning and an end…but our life isn’t like that. We’re full of color and everything in between. You’ve supported me at my best and have loved me at my worst. Everything good in my life is because of you. I know you’ll always love me, and I know it won’t be easy once I’m gone, but I need you to promise me you’ll continue to wake up with that smile on your face and never forget how the sun feels or how beautiful the quiet before the storm is. I need my light, my girl, to keep going. Be that guiding light so I know exactly where you are in the world as I watch over you and Sujin. We knew forever wasn’t guaranteed, that’s just the way life is, right? This doesn’t mean it’s over, not by a long shot. You still have so much more to give, so much more love to offer. I know you’d never forget about me, that’s not what this letter is for—it’s not a reminder of me, it’s a reminder to live, love, and keep shining. There are more where this came from, Taehyung has them and knows what to do, but not until you’re ready for them. I love you so much, never stop living—for me, for Sujin…for you. Love forever, Your Yejun

The letter crumples in your fist, the bundle of hibiscus and lavender it was attached to forgotten on the step between your feet as you bury your face in the crook of your elbow and scream. It’s better that way—the symbolism of the hibiscus flower on a letter from Yejun is a punch to the gut when he’s no longer here. Eternity? Bullshit. The sound is muffled into the thick wool of your coat but no less filled with agony. As if the day wasn’t hard enough, everything went belly-up when you found the flowers and the letter on your door step. You choke on a breath of air as you try to control yourself.

“Yejun.” His name drips from your trembling lips, absorbed into your jacket sleeve like your cries. “I miss you so much. Why did you have to leave us?”

A hand on your shoulder makes you flinch, jerking away from the potential comfort, despite it being exactly what you need right now. You crowd against the wall, knees knocking into one another as you huddle in on yourself where you’re sitting in the stairwell outside your apartment door.

“Hey, hey, hey, come here,” a strong, soothing voice coos. Your limbs protest weakly for a moment, your heart raging with guilt at the prospect of finding solace in another man’s arms—even if that man is Taehyung, your now late husband's best friend—but the desperate need for someone to hold your pieces together wins out. You fear if you let yourself truly break, you’ll never be able to be made whole again. You frantically launch into those open arms, keening a wail into the solid chest between them. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

💔💔💔

Two years later

“Mommy, are we going to Uncle Tae’s house today?” Sujin asks from behind you, where he’s strapped into his booster seat.

You glance in the rearview mirror, angling yourself so you catch a glimpse of his smile as he stares out the window, patiently awaiting your answer. It’s gotten easier over the last two years to look at him without growing weepy. He looks like and reminds you so much of Yejun. They have the same chestnut-colored eyes and floppy midnight tresses. When he smiles, the tiny dimple on his left cheek is a near mirror to his father’s and something that your eyes seek out every time he flashes you a grin. Little pieces of his father that fill the gaps in your heart.

“Did you not want to stay at Grandma’s tonight? That’s what you said you wanted yesterday,” you remind him.

Sujin hums like he’s thinking hard about your question. “Well, I did want to go to Grandma’s, but I also want to see Uncle Tae, and plus, he always has good ice cream. All Grandma has is boring vanilla.”

“How about we see if Uncle Tae wants to hang out this weekend? I think Grandma would be sad if you decided not to stay with her tonight.”

In truth, you’d also be a bit disappointed if Sujin changed his mind. Being only four when his father passed, he doesn’t remember Yejun much, mostly knows him from photos and stories he’s heard. So, it’s not surprising he’s not able to put together that today is the second anniversary of his father’s passing. He doesn’t know that tonight isn’t just about your mom getting a visit. It’s also about you having an evening to grieve without being under your son's watchful and inquisitive eye.

Though maybe you’re wrong, perhaps he knows more than you think as he responds softly, “It’s okay, Mommy, I’ll stay with Grandma so you can go visit Daddy.”

If it wasn’t for tightening your grip on the steering wheel, you might have driven right off the highway. “You know what today is?” you ask hesitantly once your initial shock passes.

“Of course I do,” Sujin says with another smile, his dimple catching in the afternoon sunlight coming in through the car window. “I might not remember him, but I could never forget him.” It’s a wonder there aren’t more six-year-old poets, as what he just said is easily the most eloquent thing ever uttered by a child. Your heart swells, and you feel that telltale burn in the back of your nose and behind your eyes as you blink away the flood of emotions threatening to spill into the open.

You nod, taking a deep breath. “That’s right. He’d be so proud of you and how much you’ve grown.”

“He’d be proud of you, too, Mommy.”

It’s another blow, directly targeting the cracks already forming in your armor. Fissures zip and snap over the surface of the wall you’ve spent the last two years building. “Thank you, buddy. I love you,” you manage to get past the lump in your throat.

The rest of the car ride home is spent with Sujin telling you about his day at school and how one of his classmates snuck a salamander into the classroom after recess. You hum, haw, and laugh as he recounts the way the class reacted to the discovery of the amphibian.

It makes you feel lighter, listening to his words and hearing the clear whimsy his heart possesses as the salamander suddenly becomes a dragon and Sujin, the fearless knight that saved the teacher—the damsel in distress—by scooping it up and putting it in an empty lunch box.

“She said since I was so brave and such a good helper that I could go outside with Mr. Kim, the science teacher, and help him release it back into the wild,” he proudly proclaims. “Did you know salamanders like water? Mr. Kim said they’re kind of like frogs even though they look more like lizards.” Sujin continues on, spouting off facts he learned about the salamander from his science teacher.

It’s a short drive from the school to your apartment. You’ve often thought about moving, using some of the life insurance money from Yejun to buy you and Sujin a lovely place outside the city. But, your mom lives just a floor up, and it’s been convenient having someone so close to look after Sujin when you need them, like tonight.

Having your mom close by, not just as a babysitter but also as an emotional support outlet, has been a blessing and far outweighs the other feelings—the seemingly endless void that now lingers in place of your late husband. With that, though, you can’t help looking at your small apartment as more like a preservation of memories. It was the first place you and Yejun moved into after getting married. It’s the place you both brought Sujin home to when he was born. It’s still filled with so many memories…you’re not sure you want to leave—at least, not yet.

The building has no elevator, just several winding flights of steps right up the middle. “Go on up to Grandma’s. I’ll stop by with dinner before I leave. Remember, homework first before you play.”

Sujin gives you a beaming smile and nods his head in understanding before vaulting up the stairs, his strong six-year-old legs carrying him far faster than your own. You watch him disappear up the stairs—the last flash of his face so reminiscent of Yejun racing up those very same steps the day you moved in—followed by the familiar sound of your mother’s voice drifting out over and down the stairwell as she welcomes him into her space—a safe space, away from the looming cloud of darkness over you.

Knowing he’s occupied and cared for, you allow your mask to slip just a little. The weight on your shoulders eases as you let the emotional fatigue roll in and replace your typically calm and collected demeanor. Even after two years, it’s not gotten any easier when this particular day comes. The holidays are hard, sure. There are plenty of days where you find yourself feeling like it’s too much…but nothing truly compares to this day. It’s not filled with happy memories the way those other days are. It’s nothing but darkness. There is a constant ache in your chest, which is amplified when the calendar turns over, and you find yourself once again reliving that fateful day all over again.

You spent nearly every waking hour sitting beside Yejun, the uncomfortable, stiff hospital chair becoming your permanent perch. The ventilator was always loud, but the punching swoosh grew to be comforting because you knew that meant he was still there. All the lines and tubes hooked up to him made it look like a scene from one of those sci-fi films he enjoyed making you watch with him. Yejun was so full of life when you first met, many years before. But, the image stuck in your mind—the one you can’t seem to get rid of—is of him with sallow cheeks and pale, greyish lips, drained of life.

It’s weird to think of watching someone die. But that’s precisely what you did over the six months Yejun was in the hospital. The disease moved quickly, the cancer stealing your husband away bit by bit, and you were powerless to stop it. That’s probably one of the worst parts, the helpless feeling that no matter what you do, you can’t prevent it from happening. No amount of prayer, begging, or screaming would change it. He’d still die, just the same. Day by day, the best parts of the man you loved vanished, and by the end—you feel guilty even thinking the thoughts, so you push them out of your head.

After unlocking the door, you step into the quiet space of your apartment. Your shoes join the ones discarded by the door before you drop your purse on the small console table against the wall and make your way across the living room to the hall leading to the bedrooms. Sujin’s room is the first door. You peek inside to see that he had made up his bed before school this morning. You make a mental note to grab one of his chocolate popsicles from the freezer before dropping off dinner tonight. He deserves a little treat for being such a good kid.

The small single bathroom sits between Sujin’s room and the larger of the two bedrooms, the one you shared with Yejun for almost five years. You haven’t changed any of the decor. Everything is the same as it always has been, right down to the pillow on Yejun’s side of the bed. It took months before you mustered the courage to wash the pillow case and cried the entire time you stripped the pillow and plopped it in the washer.

The pillow was small fish compared to the closet. Going through all of Yejun’s clothes nearly took you out. Thankfully, Taehyung was there to help. You weren’t the only one that lost someone two years ago today. Taehyung and Yejun grew up together and worked together for the last dozen years, starting out as teens together at Taehyung’s parents' florist shop. They are—were—as close as brothers, and not just for the fact that Taehyung’s parents took Yejun in when his parents both passed, but because of their unbreakable bond—a bond nearly as strong as the one you had with Yejun.

Taehyung has been there for you whenever you’ve needed him since Yejun’s passing. All it takes is a phone call or a text message, and he drops everything for you. You try not to take advantage of it because you don’t want him sucked into your empty void any more than he already is. No grown man should be attached to a woman like that, especially when he has no obligation for it.

But, you must admit, it’s nice knowing he’s there…especially today. This is the one day of the year that you know you don’t have to text or call Taehyung for him to show up. His one promise to you. He’ll be there, waiting for you at the cemetery, just like he was last year.

You pull off your oversized t-shirt and worn jeans covered in splotches of paint from your time in the studio today. Once a well-known local artist, you haven’t been able to create anything worthwhile since Yejun passed. He would always joke about being your one true muse. It seems he wasn’t wrong. Everything you’ve been able to create in the last two years feels wrong, like it’s missing something.

The life insurance you received from Yejun has been more than enough to keep you and Sujin afloat. However, you feel like a failure having even to touch that money, even if it’s just to pay the bills. If you could just get your life together, you’d be able to provide for yourself and Sujin the way you once did—before everything happened. Shoving that line of thinking away, you focus on the here and now, just getting through the next handful of hours.

A quick shower later, and you’re dressed in a warm sweater and a clean pair of jeans with thick wool socks. It’s cold, winter having well and truly taken hold outside, but when the sun goes down, the bite from the wind grows more bitter. Grabbing the large, lidded bowl of beef stew you had cooking in the slow cooker all day. You wrap it in a dish towel to keep from burning your hands on the hot sides, snag a popsicle for Sujin, and make the short trip upstairs to your mom’s place.

“Hey, sweetheart,” your mom greets you when she opens the door. She’s gotten a lot more grey in her hair in the last year or so. The steel-colored strands stand out against her temples, framing her strong but still soft face. You used to think she looked too austere, but then you realized that was just the permanent mark of motherhood and time.

“Hi, Mom. Did Sujin get his homework done?” You follow your mom in, shutting and locking the door behind you as she ambles into the kitchen on the other side of the living room. Her apartment is a near mirror of your own, her second bedroom set up for Sujin as well.

“He finished a bit ago and wanted to break out the paints. Was nattering on about some sort of lizard, I think. He wanted to try to paint it,” she explains, putting the tea kettle on without needing to ask. Peppermint tea with a dollop of honey can fix even the worst of woes in her eyes. She’ll insist you have some just as she has any other time she can feel your darkness crowding in. You’ve grown to appreciate your mother's intuition, both for yourself and your son's sake.

“There was an incident involving a student bringing in a salamander at school, it seems. Sujin helped the teacher and was allowed to go out with Namjoon—Mr. Kim—to release it.” You recall the conversation in the car, your mother chuckling softly when you tell her about the salamander turning into a dragon.

She busies herself, packing the tea steeper with her own blend of mint tea. Tending the small garden of herbs and spices that she keeps on the fire escape off the living room, is how she spends most of her days since she retired a few years ago. Even in winter, she keeps a small plastic greenhouse over them, opening it just enough to care for them each day. “So, you’re on a first-name basis with that science teacher now?” she asks. You can tell she’s lightly probing, trying to figure out if there is anything more between you and ‘Mr. Kim’.

“I met him at the beginning of the year when we had parent-teacher meetings. He insisted I call him Namjoon, that’s all, Mom.”

Humming, she grabs the kettle just before it begins to whistle. “Still, he’s nice?” she asks, casting you a glance over her shoulder.

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, wishing she’d not try to go down this path of questioning. You know she means well, but you’re just…you’re not ready to think about those things.

“He’s nice enough, Mom, I guess. It was just a slip of the tongue. I’m used to greeting him at drop-off in the mornings. It’s not—I don’t, it’s just being cordial, y’know? I’m not ready…” you trail off, hoping your mom picks up on what you’re trying to say so you don’t actually have to say it; not today.

Her free hand goes to her mouth, covering her frown. “Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean—you know I’d never, not like that. I’m sorry. Forgive an old fool for her loose words.”

“It’s okay, Mom, really,” you offer with a tight smile as you set the stew on the counter and pop the popsicle you brought for Sujin in the freezer.

She sets down the tea, the cup slightly trembling on the tiny saucer she serves it on. “I made some pajeon to go with the stew. It’s warming in the oven. Are you going to stay for dinner?” she asks, seeing that you need to move on from the previous subject.

You settle on one of the chairs at her small dining table, pick up the tiny teacup, and blow across the surface before taking a tentative sip. The mint is a cooling contrast to the heat of the liquid, coating your throat with a soothing sensation. The blooming sweetness of the honey lingers on your tongue, helping combat the intense punch of the minty flavor. It’s comforting. Reminds you of home.

“I’m not all that hungry. You and Sujin enjoy it. You’re sure you’re okay taking him to school tomorrow?” She gives you a fond smile and nods. “I’ll pick him up on my way home and we’ll come have dinner.”

“That’s fine, sweetheart.”

You finish off the tea, suppressing a grimace as it goes down a little too warm and nearly scalds your throat. The sun will be completely down soon, and you’d like to get to the cemetery before it’s too dark out. “I should get going. Just going to say hi to him real quick.”

Your mom watches you stand. Her eyes are hyper-focused on your face. “Okay, sweetheart,” she says slowly. It’s clear she wants to say more, but you’re glad she doesn’t push.

The room your mom has set up for Sujin has a small bed pushed into one corner, leaving the rest of the space for him to play—unlike his room at your place, which has a writing desk and dresser taking up the majority of the play space. He’s never complained, though, choosing to get creative with the small room he does have. “Hey, buddy, Grandma said you’re painting. Can I see?”

You lean on the door jamb, peering into the room. The easel Sujin is using is angled away from the door. All you can see is smears of bright color peeking around the edge of the canvas.

His bright eyes meet yours as he grins extra wide. “It’s not done yet, but of course you can see it.”

Stepping in and around the easel frame, you take in the canvas covered in paint. When your mom said he was going to paint the salamander, you knew there was a possibility of said ‘lizard’ being portrayed as a dragon as it was in Sujin’s story in the car. But what you didn’t expect were the characters surrounding the dragon. You count them, six in total. The brunette woman at the top of the castle tower is clearly Sujin’s teacher, Mrs. Min. Sujin himself is astride the dragon, and who you think is Namjoon stands in a corner near some trees, his large-frame glasses are what lead you to believe that’s who it is. The other three characters are where you’re a bit lost.

“Who are these people?” you ask, gesturing to the other feminine figure framed by two men; one with unruly black hair and the other with small angel wings extending from his shoulders. It dawns on you the moment you ask.

“That’s you, Daddy, and Uncle Tae, of course,” Sujin proudly states. “You were in the tower with Mrs. Min. I’m rescuing her, and Uncle Tae is rescuing you while Daddy guides him.”

You’re not sure what to say. But you can’t help looking at your son in a different light. He’s only six, but in moments like this, you feel like his soul is older and wiser than yours. “It’s lovely,” you finally say, because it truly is, and everything else you could say would definitely start the waterworks, and there will be enough of that later. “I’ll be back tomorrow to get you. Be good for Grandma. There’s a treat for you in the freezer, but only after dinner, okay?” You feel like you’re running away—and maybe you are, but the darkness creeps in just a little bit further the more you look at his painting.

“Yes, ma’am,” Sujin beams at you sweetly. He lifts his chin, angling a cheek in your direction for a kiss. You plant one there, throwing an arm around his back for a quick squeeze, too. “Love you, Mommy.”

“Love you, too, buddy,” you murmur, shoving down the suffocating feeling bubbling in your chest—just need to make it a few more hours.

💔💔💔

The cemetery is about an hour's drive from your place in the city. Yejun grew up in the countryside, and the columbarium where he’s interred is at the cemetery closest to his and Taehyung’s childhood home. It’s a quiet drive, a typical Tuesday evening if it were any other week. You don’t even bother with music, haven’t in the last two years, preferring to just soak in the quiet and try to center yourself.

As you pull into the parking area outside the gate to the grounds, you spot Taehyung’s black SUV. He’s standing beside it, leaning against the driver's side door with his chin tipped down below the line of the thick scarf wrapped around his neck. Your headlights swing across his vehicle, illuminating him in the process as you park.

You take your time climbing out of your car, casting fleeting glances in his direction while you gather your courage and resolve. He’s wearing a thick grey-colored tweed coat that covers him to the knees, and khaki slacks lead down to shiny brown loafers. His hair is windswept, the fluffy waves moving across his forehead with every gust of chilly air.

“Hey,” you say as you swing open your door and step out. He catches your eye over the roof of your car and gives you a soft smile.

“Good evening. Drive okay?”

You nod. “Not too much traffic, which is always nice.”

“You should have let me come and pick you up.” It’s the same thing he said last year, to which you decline politely just the same as well.

“Thanks, but I enjoy the drive. Gives me time to think.”

His eyes flick over you, taking you in from head to toe. There is understanding clear on his face. “Shall we?” He gestures toward the entrance gate. You notice a small bundle of flowers held in his other hand that’s hanging by his side. “Oh, this is for you.” It surprises you when Taehyung offers you the flowers, having thought he was bringing them to leave in Yejun’s vase.

You take the offered cluster, automatically bringing it to your nose and giving it a delicate sniff. It’s hard to smell the fragrance in the cold, but as you peer down at the flowers and take in the deep purple and soft pink, the scent of lavender and hibiscus filters through as if on a memory. It’s a combination that reminds you painfully of Yejun, as this was always his go-to whenever he would bring you home flowers from the shop after work.

“Thank y—“ your polite words cut off as you hear the distinct crackle of paper as you shift the bundle of flowers between your hands. “What’s this?” you ask, holding the flowers up until you see the small envelope attached to the hemp string holding the bunch together.

“A note,” Taehyung responds slowly as if he’s trying to decide if that’s all he’ll say. “Perhaps wait until we’re settled to read it?”

You finger the crisp fold of parchment, wondering. “Okay, yeah,” you agree, chalking it up to most likely being a grievance note from Taehyung, and it might be awkward for you to read it right now in front of him.

The cemetery typically closes at sundown, but Taehyung has access as the gardener. When he and Yejun took over Taehyung’s parents' floral shop, they expanded the business to include landscaping for local companies and establishments. The cemetery is one such establishment they took on. He produces a key from his pocket, unlocking the small pedestrian gate that must have been locked up not too long ago, judging by the sun barely having dipped below the horizon.

“Moojin left about ten minutes before you pulled up,” Taehyung explains casually, confirming the thought you just had. “It’ll just be us, so we can take as much time as we need.”

Maybe you should feel bad that Taehyung gives you preferential treatment and access to the cemetery after hours, but it’s hard to care about that when other, darker feelings have you clutched so tightly. The walk to the columbarium is relatively short, being one of the newer buildings erected within the grounds just some twenty years ago or so.

“The trees are doing well, even in the winter,” you note, nodding toward the row of young pines along the fence line. It was one of the last projects Yejun worked on with Taehyung before he became ill.

“He’d be able to tell you all the properties of the tree that make it sustainable during this time of the year,” Taehyung responds, his voice carrying notes of sadness. Yejun doesn’t come up much in conversation between the two of you, most things not needing to be said, merely understood without a spoken word. So, it’s surprising and endearing to actually hear Taehyung talk about him, especially now.

You smile, knowing he’s right. “With enough scientific jargon to make you go cross-eyed trying to keep up, too.”

That earns you a soft laugh from Taehyung. “And he wouldn’t even realize it until you’re so lost you can’t even pretend to have understood.”

“I miss that,” you whisper with a sigh, your warm breath misting lightly in the cold.

Taehyung slips his arm through yours, hooking his elbow around the crook of your arm. “Me, too.”

💔💔💔

Taehyung

It’s never easy, watching the way you suffer through your emotions. Taehyung knows you try to hide them, and sometimes you’re successful. But others…like right now, he can read you as clear as a bright spring sky. Only instead of pastel blues, pinks, and yellows, you’re a stark monochrome of Pantone grey. Just as clear, but decidedly less alive. He hates it. Knowing just how vibrant of a person you once were. When Yejun left your life, so, too, did the color, it seems. Leeched away with the slow death of your husband. It’s a cruel fate, Taehyung has decided, and it’s one you never deserved. Yejun also knew this. He saw this in the way you mourned at his bedside, even before he was gone. It’s why Yejun made Taehyung promise to take care of you, to never let you forget how to smile.

As more time passes, Taehyung isn’t sure whether or not he’s done a good job by Yejun’s request. Not when the dark circles around your eyes seem to get more permanent every time Taehyung sees you. It’s why he brought the letter—the next letter. He’s curious if you remember the first one, the one that came the day of Yejun’s funeral; the one that had you crawling into Taehyung’s arms for the first time, seeking the comfort you knew was there.

That’s happened a few times in the two years since Yejun now. Any time you begin to fray at the edges and unravel a bit too quickly, Taehyung’s been there, weaving you back together the best he can. It might not be pretty, but a patchwork quilt is better than shredded rags, he likes to think. He hopes, at least.

“Are you warm enough?” Taehyung asks, realizing your arm is trembling around his. The jacket you’re wearing is far too thin, meant more for warding off spring rain showers than winter chills. Your lips are formed into a thin, bloodless line as if you’re trying to keep your teeth from chattering, and your brow is pinched.

The lift of your shoulder is subtle, dismissive and nonchalant. “I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not. Here,” Taehyung insists, pulling you to a halt on the walking path. “Take this.” He shrugs out of his jacket, draping it over the thinner trench you’re wearing over your sweater. You instantly relax, a soft sigh misting the air in front of your mouth.

“Thank you. I forget how cold it gets out here at night,” you mumble, encouraging Taehyung to continue walking toward the entrance to the columbarium, where Yejun’s memorial awaits. “Are you sure you’ll be okay without it?” Your eyes are round and glassy when you look up at him, the moonlight overhead reflecting in their depths.

The thick sweater Taehyung has on paired with his wool scarf is enough to stave off the wintery bite, but what warms him the most is seeing your eyes flash with a brief flicker of life when you snuggle into the depths of his jacket, bringing the tweed collar up around your neck after he assures you he’s fine without it.

Your feet shuffle, your stride slowing as you approach the columbarium. Taehyung can feel your hesitancy. The air around you is suffocating and full of static, something Taehyung wants desperately to help dispel.

“Come on. Together.” Taehyung offers you his hand, splaying his fingers wide in invitation. You lick your lips, eyes flicking between Taehyung’s face and his offered hand. Finally, you sag a little and slip your fingers in between his.

Your hand is soft and delicate in his. Taehyung has always admired your ability as an artist, being able to take your hands and a simple tool like a paintbrush and create something profound and breathtaking. Some might argue that what Taehyung does is also a form of art, but he swears it’s nothing compared to the pure magic you create. He’s found himself under your spell more than once, entranced by your art.

Even the works you’ve created in the last two years, the things you keep hidden away in your studio, are still quite beautiful—if more haunted. Taehyung knows you’re not selling any art and you haven’t hosted a gallery night in almost three years now. The few times he’s been inside your studio since Yejun, you’ve indulged his curiosity and let him look at the things you’ve worked on.

Taehyung cherishes those private moments you allow him within your space. He uses them as a time to reflect on what life has brought to you and to him. You have a shared experience of losing someone, but it’s clear you’re both working through your pain differently. Your studio, once a bright and vibrant space filled with inspiration and captured moments of love, is now more of a tomb, silent and full of the whisper of death.

Taehyung eases open the door to the columbarium. The motion-activated lights within flicker on and fill the space with a soft yellow glow. It’s better than the typical fluorescent white lights they used to use. Taehyung thinks the bright, sterile lighting is far too reminiscent of a morgue or hospital, not exactly places people should be reminded of when coming to visit their dead loved ones. So, he suggested the change when he took over doing the gardening for the cemetery.

Yejun’s niche is towards the back of the space, near the bottom. You separate yourself from Taehyung, letting the bundle of flowers droop upside down in your hand as you step lightly across the floor. You look like a specter, gliding across holy ground in search of what’s keeping you tied to this plane of existence. In many ways, Taehyung thinks that’s precisely what is happening with you. You’re suspended in time, stuck in a limbo of heartache.

In the two years since Yejun, you haven’t been able to move on, even though that’s exactly what Yejun wanted you to do. Yejun never wanted you to mourn him for long. He told Taehyung there was far too much love for you to give, and you had a heart big enough to love someone else while still holding true to Yejun. What Yejun failed to realize, Taehyung thinks, is that without Yejun, you didn’t want to love again.

Taehyung holds back a few steps, giving you some time to have a private moment as you kneel down in front of Yejun’s niche. The placard covering the niche is engraved with his name, birth and death dates, and a small metal frame that holds a glass engraved likeness of Yejun. It pains Taehyung to see the smiling face and crinkled eyes behind his wireframed glasses. Yejun was his brother in all ways, except for being born to the same parents. That didn’t matter to them, though—still doesn’t matter to Taehyung. They love—loved—each other just as fiercely as if they had been.

“Yejun,” you whimper his name, pressing a hand to the placard, head hanging low. Taehyung watches your shoulders shake with silent sobs, and he can’t take it anymore. He moves across the space and kneels down beside you, ignoring the cold that instantly leeches through the knees of his trousers. Before he can think better of it, he has his arms around you, trying to hold you together…trying to keep your seams from unraveling too fast.

Taehyung coos softly, murmuring as many words of encouragement and solace as can work past his quivering lips, “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s going to be okay. I promise. He loved you so fiercely. I miss him, too. I’m here for you. Shh, it’s going to be okay.” Over and over again, Taehyung repeats it like a mantra until your sniffles subside, and you slump into his arms, feebly returning his embrace.

Feeling your arms around him is a comfort, one that helps him keep his own tears in check. “Thank you for being here,” you sniff before burying your face in his scarf and inhaling deeply.

“I’m always going to be here for you,” Taehyung offers, smoothing a hand over your hair in what he hopes is a soothing fashion. He watched Yejun console you enough times to have a good idea of what might help. After Sujin was born, you battled postpartum depression for a while, and Taehyung helped wherever he could, giving him those brief glimpses into your emotional turmoil. Yejun always petted your hair and let you ground yourself in his embrace. He never even had to say a word; just let you draw on his strength. So, Taehyung has always tried to emulate that for you whenever you’ve needed him.

You sigh, and Taehyung reluctantly lets you pull away to sit back on your heels. “I’m such a mess. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Taehyung says, capturing the side of your face in one of his hands. You sway on your knees; big, round, red-rimmed eyes locked onto his. “Never apologize to me. You’re human, not a mess. Okay?”

“Okay,” you whisper, lips barely moving. You slowly turn, sitting with your back against Yejun’s niche.

“Okay,” Taehyung repeats, and settles in beside you. He barely notices the cold this time as it seeps through the seat of his pants. There are far too many fierce emotions rolling through him to be bothered by the chill.

“Is it okay if I read this now?” you ask after several moments of shared silence.

Taehyung looks over at you, fingering the small envelope attached to the bundle of fresh flowers he brought. He swallows past the thick knot in his throat, worried about you reading it but knowing you need to. Perhaps it’ll be best read when he’s around and not in the solitude of your apartment where you could fall apart without someone there to catch you; Taehyung knows Sujin is staying at your mother’s tonight.

He clears his throat. “Uh, sure, yeah.”

“They really are beautiful,” you say, voice so soft it barely carries to Taehyung. You admire the flowers for a moment, and the anxiety Taehyung had earlier in the shop when he was wrapping them goes away. He was worried that he got the flowers wrong. He knew Yejun always brought you fresh flowers, different types for different occasions. Yejun was all about the spiritual and emotional meaning of flowers, something that Taehyung hardly paid any mind to until after.

Finally, you tug the end of the string that attaches the envelope to the flowers, and you set them to the side. The flap is tucked into the envelope, so you slide it out and remove the tri-folded parchment from within. It looks the same as it did the day Yejun gave it to Taehyung a few weeks before he died. It’s the same as all the other letters waiting in a box under Taehyung’s bed—waiting for the right moment, waiting for you.

“If you need a moment—” Taehyung begins to say, but you hold up a hand to silence him. Slowly, you unfold the paper and smooth it over your thighs. Your eyes flick over the paper, snatching on random words until they hit the name signed at the bottom.

“What is this?” you whisper, yet your voice cuts like steel. “Is this a cruel joke?” You hold the paper up for Taehyung to see. At the top, it reads ‘For if you haven’t moved on’. Taehyung can understand why you might think so.

“N-no. It’s…there’s…” Taehyung pauses and takes a deep breath before trying again. “It’s not a joke. It’s from Yejun.” The look of hurt that ghosts across your face brings a prickling heat behind Taehyung's eyes, and he has to blink them several times to hold his emotions at bay as he explains. “The letter I gave you after the funeral?” He waits until you give him a subtle nod. “This is another he gave me…along with many others.”

“Many others?” you ask, incredulity seeping into your tone.

“He wanted to leave you something, something more than just your memories and heartache. So, he spent a few weeks, before he got bad, writing letters to you. He gave them to me and made me promise I’d give them to you when the time was right. This one—” Taehyung nods toward the letter held between your fingers “—was one I wasn’t sure if I’d have to give you or not. It was one Yejun specifically said to only give you if…well, if you hadn’t started living life again.”

“Hadn’t started living life again?” You balk at that, rearing back from him with an angry look pinching your face.

Taehyung feels like he’s botching this, not explaining it properly to you or something. “Just, just please read it.” Taehyung has no idea what the letter says. He never wanted to invade Yejun’s and your privacy. He’s hoping, though, that maybe the letter might hold some key information to help you understand…to help ease your anger in a way that Taehyung’s words can’t seem to.

You stare at Taehyung for a moment, and he’s certain you’re about to spit in his face and leave him sitting here alone. But, you finally shake your head and sigh, settling back into place and focusing on the paper. Taehyung is sorely tempted to try and read over your shoulder, but he doesn’t want to further your ire. So, he slides a few inches away, opening up a wide, cold gap between the two of you…and waits.

💔💔💔

To the love of my life, For if you haven’t moved on Hi, baby. I hope this is a letter Tae never has to give you, but if you’re reading this, then that means we’re not doing so well. I say ‘we’, because I’m still there with you. Just like I promised in my other letter. I told Tae to use his discretion on whether to ever give you this or not. He knows you nearly as well as I do, so I trust him. So, if you ever read this, know he doesn’t mean any harm by it…I don’t mean any harm by it. But, baby, you gotta start living again. At this point, I don’t know how much time will have passed since I had to go away, but I do know you can’t let much more time pass. I need you to live, my love. Live for me, live for Sujin…live for yourself. No more standing by while the world continues to spin, you have to spin with it, baby, let it carry you away, and on to better days. Please. Find something that makes you laugh, find something that makes you smile…even if it’s a someone. I know you’ll always love me. There is no doubt about that. But, don’t let that love stop you from living. Let someone in, let someone help…love again, for me. Show the world that it can’t tear you down. Go on a date, go skydiving, go to one of those fancy art galleries in Italy you used to fantasize about…just go, baby. Go and do, and be free. Don’t be afraid…please, don’t be afraid to live. Love forever, Your Yejun

The memory of the other letter, albeit a bit fuzzy, drifts through your mind as you sit and try to come to terms with how you feel at this moment. You absently trace the neat scrawl of Yejun’s handwriting covering the page. Don’t be afraid. Are you afraid? Is that it? You’ve never thought of it like that, in terms of being afraid to live. But, if you think about it, you suppose that’s the root of it. You are afraid. Afraid of moving on. What if you do find happiness? What if you do find someone else? Yejun is clear that he’s confident you’ll never forget him, but what if you do?

You don’t want to be sitting somewhere thirty years from now, with your head thrown back, laughing at the joke from some other guy, with Yejun having not crossed your mind in years. It’s not that you don’t want to be happy. You just…you don’t know.

Taehyung is sitting so quietly beside you that if you closed your eyes, you’d think you were alone. Guilt pricks against your heart at how badly you first reacted, the harsh tone and words you lashed at Taehyung where he didn’t deserve it. You clear your throat, drawing the flicker of Taehyung’s eyes in your direction.

“I’m sorry, Tae. I really am. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.” The words are thick on your tongue as you work through the emotions threatening to obliterate your existence. You think you might cry, but give yourself an imaginary pat on the back when you manage to maintain eye contact with Taehyung while successfully blinking back the tears.

Taehyung is quiet for a moment, a muscle in his jaw working, flexing the dark stubble you can see shadowing along his jawline. It’s in this moment that you feel like you see Taehyung in a new light, with added clarity. He looks haggard, tired. You didn’t notice it before, the sunken circles around his eyes or the lack of a clean shave…until now. It’s not fair, you realize, that he has taken care of you so much the last two years when you haven’t even so much as bothered to check on how he is doing.

You’re just about to break the silence with another feeble apology when he smiles, it’s faint, but it’s there. “You don’t need to apologize to me. Yejun and I might have shared a different kind of bond than what you two had, but I have at least an inkling of the keen sting you’re feeling, the one that never quite goes away no matter what you do.” He brings a hand up and presses it to the center of his chest. “The one that slices a little deeper after the sun goes down and everyone else has gone about their lives.”

Chilled goosebumps pop up along your arms, despite the warmth from the added layer of Taehyung’s jacket. That is exactly what it feels like, a lingering sting that won’t go away, one that grows when you’re alone.

You lick your trembling lips, tearing your gaze away from his and focusing back on the letter clutched in your hand. “Yejun,” you whisper. “He—he wants…he wants me to move on.” A soft sob catches in your throat. “But, I can’t do that. How can I do that?”

Your shoulders heave as the emotions you were able to hold at bay before come crashing through the walls you managed to put up. It’s not like the weeping from earlier. That was simply the quiet cries of a mourning wife. This is bone-deep, soul-rending agony that shakes your entire body.

Taehyung pulls you into his arms, and you press your face into the cushioning of his scarf and scream. The sound is muffled, but you can still hear it echoing through the columbarium when all the air finally empties from your lungs. You try to replenish the air, sucking in stilted breaths, but it’s not enough. Panic ensues, your heart launching into a heavy, staccato rhythm as if trying to pound right out of your chest.

“Hey, hey,” Taehyung soothes. “Slow down. Try to breathe slowly.” He pulls you firmly into his lap. You’re heedless to the intimate position your body falls into with your knees on either side of his hips. All you care about is getting air into your lungs. Taehyung holds you by the face, angling yours so you look up into his worried eyes. “Come on, slow. In…out…like that, come on, another one. In and then out.” He breathes with you, exaggerating the way he inhales air through his nose and pushes it back out through his mouth.

His warm breath puffs across your face with each exhale, carrying with it the faintest sharp tinge of mint and the earthy tones of tea. Something that instantly makes you think of home. It helps bring you back to reality, slowing your rampaging heart, and subsiding your shuddering cries.

“I can’t do it,” you mumble.

“You can. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

“No, no. You don’t—I can’t. It’s…it’s cold in here,” you whisper, pressing a trembling hand over your heart. “No one wants that.”

A soft, sad smile forms on Taehyung’s face as he continues to stare down at you. “Good thing that I know a thing or two about keeping things warm.” He drops his hands from your face and grabs the lapels of his jacket that’s still draped over your shoulders and gives it a tug, pulling it tighter around you. You can’t help but smile, even if it’s a watery one.

“What would I do without you?” you ask, not expecting Taehyung to answer.

“You’d make it.” He sounds so sure. “I know you would, you’d do it. But, I am glad to be here, to help however I can.”

Taehyung doesn’t urge you off of his lap, just allows you to rest there with your cheek pressed over his softly beating heart, finding whatever comfort you can from the proximity of another source of warmth. His words linger there, filling the space between you with a comfortability that you know you’ll never find anywhere else. You don’t say anything else, as there isn’t much else to say. At least, not words you think you could say out loud. Not here, not now.

But, an hour later, as you’re driving home, you decide to try. So, you do something you haven’t done in a while and turn on the radio, letting the music fill the silence from before. It’s a small step, but a step nonetheless; the first of—you hope—many.

The next morning, with the light of a new day spilling through the gap between your bedroom curtains, you decide you feel…good. As you lay in bed last night, full of revelations about how you’re going to start making steps toward Yejun’s desire for you to be happy again, worry began to set in. Worry over whether or not you can do this. Now, though, you feel decidedly different—light, in a way—as you push back the blankets and climb out of bed.

With your mom having taken Sujin to school this morning, it afforded you some time to sleep in, which is something you haven’t done in years. You weren’t sure you were going to, considering how poorly you’ve been sleeping the last couple of years. It feels nice, stretching your arms over your head and not feeling as groggy for once.

There is one thing you want to do before heading to the studio, where you know you’ll probably just piddle around until it’s time to pick up Sujin, but it’s just baby steps for now. It’s not lost on you that your work, the art you create, no matter if you manage to move on or not, might still be something that you’re never able to recover. Yejun wasn’t far off when he joked about being your one true muse, but you try to remain hopeful that you can surprise yourself.

The box in the back of the closet is exactly where you left it almost two years ago. It holds some of your most treasured possessions. Things you’ve held on to dating back as far as your teen years and as recent as two years ago. You kneel in the bottom of your closet and slide the box out from behind the stack of empty shoe boxes you can’t seem to toss out.

It’s a bit faded, the blue exterior, once a brilliant navy, is now more denim in color. You’ve had the box since you were a child, given to you by your father the summer before he split from your mom. That really hurt your family, when he cut himself out of the picture without so much as an apology; he ran off with another woman. It was so hard for you to believe in love after that.

Lifting the small silvered latch, you ease open the box lid and sigh as your eyes land on the folded paper nestled on top. Yejun’s first letter. It’s the last thing you put in this box. The paper still feels crisp in your fingers as you delicately pluck it out and unfold it. You worry at your bottom lip a moment before letting your eyes devour the same words you read once before.

This time, they don’t hurt nearly as much. You still feel that piercing ache, but it’s accompanied by another, fresher feeling—one of hope. What stands out the most, now, though, is the confirmation that there are other letters waiting for you. Yejun says as much himself in this letter, you just hadn’t ever put the dots together, too distracted in your grief.

There are endless possibilities for what those other letters might be for. But, what’s clear is that you won't get another one until you do something to deserve it. Knowing Yejun, you have a few ideas of what those things might be. There is a thrill but also a sense of trepidation as you think about that. You want to move on and be happy again, and in doing so, you know you’ll get the other letters, but there’s also that sense of overwhelming dread.

Where do you begin?

You spent most of your day rearranging and organizing supplies at the studio. But, now that the sun is beyond its zenith and casting longer shadows across your paint-marked studio floor, you feel like you’ve done nothing but waste time. You still haven’t decided where to begin with Yejun’s letters and you’re no closer to coming up with an idea for your next project either.

With frustration coloring your thoughts, you lock up and welcome the reprieve of going and picking Sujin up from school. That’s one part of your life that you do know up from down with.

As you pull through the pick up line, you don’t see Sujin anywhere out front. You spot Mrs. Min ushering a few students to their cars, her friendly face sporting a smile as she does so. Her eye catches yours and she holds up a hand, rushing over to your passenger side window.

“Hi!” she says when you roll it down. “So glad I caught you before you waited too long. Sujin volunteered to help Mr. Kim with his terrarium and it’s taking a bit longer than expected. He should be out in the next fifteen minutes or so, feel free to park in the teacher’s lot or you can wait here if you’d like.”

“Mrs. Min!” a rambunctious gaggle of students call her name, requesting her assistance.

She gives you an apologetic look. “Sorry, duty calls. He shouldn’t be too long!” she calls over her shoulder as she jogs towards the cluster of students beckoning her over. One of the kids has what appears to be a large diorama that they’re having a hard time carrying to their car, even with the assistance of their friends.

“Well, great,” you mumble to yourself, checking your rearview mirror and seeing a long line of cars waiting behind you.

Pulling ahead, you slip around the side of the school and pull into one of the empty teacher spots and cut the engine. You haven’t been inside the school since the parent-teacher meeting at the beginning of the year, so it wouldn’t hurt if you went inside now, it would give you a chance to peek into Sujin’s classrooms and see what he’s been up to. If it’s one thing he loves, it’s learning.

Mr. Kim and Mrs. Min have adjoining classrooms at the end of the hall for Sujin’s grade, a storage and supply closet connecting the two rooms. The door to Mrs. Min’s room is closed but the light is still on inside. You take a quick peek through the view window on the door and see colorful drawings and paper projects hanging on the wall, books scattered across a few tables, and a large container of art supplies opened on her desk. She teaches English, Reading, Art, and History while Namjoon covers Math and Science.

The gym teacher, Mr. Jeon, startles you as he breezes through the double doors at the end of the hall that lead out to the playground. “Oh, hey! Sujin, your mom is here!” he calls, stepping back and propping the door open with the heel of his sneaker.

“Mom!” you hear Sujin’s voice sound from through the open door. “You gotta come see this!”

Mr. Jeon holds the door open for you, his face lit with a pleasant smile. “A future scientist, I’d bet,” Mr. Jeon stage-whispers as you pass him and that makes your own smile blossom further.

“What’s going on, buddy?” you ask, taking in the scene before you.

Namjoon is crouched down beside Sujin, helping him sort through a collection of rocks spread out on a sheet of plastic. There are dozens of them, all various shapes and colors.

Sujin excitedly points out a few of the large rocks. “These would be perfect to create a hiding space!” he loudly proclaims before turning his bright eyes up to you. “Mr. Kim is letting me help him choose the rocks to go into the terrarium. We’re going to get our very own class salamander! Isn’t that cool, Mom? A class dragon!”

A soft chuckle comes from Namjoon as he pivots on his heels and squints up at you, the sun catching on the thick-framed glasses that are slipping down his nose. “We had so much fun yesterday talking about the salamander that was brought into Mrs. Min’s class that I couldn’t resist. I’ve had this old aquarium sitting in my garage for years, it just seems perfect.”

“Wow, yeah, that’s really cool.”

“Sorry for keeping him,” Namjoon suddenly stands, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking contrite. “I didn’t realize the bell had rung until Jungkook said something.” He turns to Sujin who is happily stacking a few of the smaller rocks into a pile. “I think that’s all for today, Sujin. We’ll finish it up tomorrow during class.”

Sujin frowns, his warm brown eyes flicking to Namjoon. “Okay,” he sighs.

“I tell you what, for all your hard work today, how about I let you be creative director during assembly tomorrow? Does that sound okay?”

The frown is quickly replaced with another excited smile. Sujin gives a whoop of delight and slaps his hands together before dusting them off. “Thank you, Mr. Kim, that sounds amazing!”

Seeing the interaction between Namjoon and Sujin gives you an idea, one that you hope you won’t regret. “Go grab your backpack, buddy, I’ll meet you outside Mrs. Min’s room in a second.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Sujin pulls open the door and scampers through, his sneakers squeaking on the tiled floor as he skips down the hall.

“Thank you for that, Namjoon, really. He was so excited about what happened yesterday and now this? He’s been wanting a turtle for a year now, so this will be a good test on whether or not we should get one.”

Namjoon pulls one of his hands out of his pocket and grips the back of his neck as he smiles shyly, his cheeks pinking slightly. “He’s a great kid, loves to learn. Though, turtles are a bit more needy than salamanders. It would also depend on the type of turtle. The standard box turtles are…” Namjoon trails off, his brow pinching as he throws furtive glances your way. “Sorry, you didn’t ask for a science lesson.”

That makes you laugh, which seems to ease the awkward tension in Namjoon. “Sujin isn’t the only one that likes learning.” You don’t intend the words to sound flirty, but they come out that way and you can distinctly tell that Namjoon keys into that.

“Yeah?” he asks, the shyness leeching away by the second.

“Um, yeah. Er, well, I should—” you jerk your thumb over your shoulder toward the door “—Sujin is probably waiting.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Namjoon sidesteps over the plastic sheet of rocks and fumbles with the door handle before yanking it open. “Have a good—”

“Are you free Friday night?” you blurt, wincing at the rudeness of interrupting him but knowing if you don’t ask now then you’ll lose your nerve.

“Friday?” he parrots back, eyes wide behind his glasses.

Panic slices through and you immediately want to take it back. “Sorry, that was—I didn’t, it’s not appropriate is it? I’m so sor—”

“I’m free,” he states, the words silencing your backpedaling.

“Oh.” Now that he’s confirmed, you’re not sure what else to say. It’s been so long since you’ve done this.

“Is there something you wanted to do?” Namjoon asks hesitantly, clearly picking up on your trepidation.

You swallow around the choking feeling in your throat, the one that’s ingrained with the idea that you’re still married and still madly in love with another man and this is akin to cheating. “Maybe dinner? Or a late coffee? Um, or…I’m sorry, it’s been so long since I’ve done this.”

Namjoon gives you an easy smile. “Dinner sounds great. Let’s say, seven?”

“Seven is good. How about that new pizza place that opened up near the park, do you know the one?”

“I’ve had my eye on that place for weeks! That sounds perfect.”

Are you really going on a date…with Sujin’s Science teacher? “Okay,” you say, chewing the inside of your cheek as you take a few steps down the hall. “Great.”

“Great,” Namjoon confirms with a smile, his deep dimples making an appearance. “See you then.”

All you can do is nod, not trusting yourself with any more words with the influx of emotions now swirling through you. Sujin bursts through Mrs. Min’s door, his backpack and lunchbox in tow.

“Let’s go!” he trumpets, thrusting his free hand into the air in a fist. “I’ve got some homework to do before I can work on my diagram for the terrarium!”

Namjoon’s soft chuckle carries to you from down the hall as you usher Sujin towards the exit. You can’t help casting one last glance behind you, taking in the way he’s lazily leaning against the doorframe of his classroom. He’s quite handsome, there’s no arguing that.

A giddy feeling adds itself to the uncertain emotions rolling through you. A fluttering in your tummy that you haven’t felt in over seven years. You can’t help but wonder, as you load Sujin into the car, if this is really what Yejun wants for you or are you making a mistake?

💔💔💔

Taehyung

It’s a weird sensation when you expect to feel one emotion but end up feeling another. That’s what Taehyung thinks anyway, as he reads the text message he received from you for the dozenth time. You have a date. With Namjoon.

Taehyung has never met the quirky Science teacher, but he’s heard plenty of stories about him from Sujin. Charming, educated, and completely and utterly perfect for you. And that should make Taehyung happy. Yet, all he can feel is mild annoyance when he thinks about Namjoon sitting across from you at a dinner table making you laugh and smile.

He wants to chalk it up to being overprotective in a brotherly sort of way, but Taehyung knows better. It’s no secret—well maybe it is to you—that Taehyung cares for you deeply. Even before Yejun, Taehyung always had a soft spot for his best friend’s wife. Something that he drunkenly confessed to Yejun once a few years ago. Yejun took it goodnaturedly, something that Taehyung still thinks about to this day, and simply told Taehyung he understood the attraction because hell, who could blame him?

They never talked about it again, until the day Yejun asked Taehyung to take care of you and Sujin—the day he was given a box of letters addressed to you. Yejun had given Taehyung a knowing smile and said something along the lines of fate knowing and that’s why Taehyung already had so much love for you.

He wasn’t sure, at first, if Yejun had ever shared Taehyung’s little secret with you. But, as time went on, it was clear that he hadn’t. That, or, so lost in your grief, you’ve been keenly uninterested in that prospect. But, now, you’re going on a date and Taehyung doesn’t know how to feel about it.

The twinge of jealousy in his chest doesn’t sit right with him. He has no right to feel this way. It’s just something that he can’t seem to shake, hasn’t been able to since you told him about it two days ago. So, instead of expressing that, he forces himself to try and share in your joy.

That’s great. Let me know when you’re home, I have something for you.

A letter perhaps??

Your eager reply makes him smile despite himself. If anything, that helps his mood to improve. The ‘first date’ letter is already sitting on his counter, waiting.

Perhaps. Now stop texting me and go have fun.

There is no reply to that. So, Taehyung waits patiently, phone in hand. Hours pass in a mindless, sluggish way. He’s far too wound up to do anything productive but also has nervous energy that needs to be released. So, Taehyung spends the four hours it takes for you to finally respond by squeaking out haphazard notes on the alto saxophone he’s taken to trying to learn to play.

His phone lights up where it sits on the coffee table and he nearly drops the instrument in his haste to snatch up the device.

I’m home.

That’s all it says and it makes Taehyung frown. Not that he expected you to tell him how the date went over text message, but he was anticipating something more than just those two words. He is startled to realize just how late it is, though, being past eleven already.

Is it too late? I can always just swing by tomorrow.

Sujin is staying with mom. It’s not too late.

Taehyung is contemplating his reply when another text from you pops up that makes him drop everything else and grab his car keys, not caring it’ll be close to midnight by the time he pulls up outside your apartment. It was a knee-jerk reaction to also grab the letter that was sitting beside his keys, but now he’s thinking about whether or not it’s a good idea.

Those thoughts quickly fade as he focuses on the road, intent on reaching your apartment in record time. His phone sits on the passenger seat, still open to your text thread, the single word might as well be an alarm blaring to Taehyung, urging him on faster.

Please.

💔💔💔

As soon as you send the last text message you want to take it back. Not only do you feel whiny, but you know Taehyung will drop everything and come over which makes you feel terrible and like you’re using him.

But, fuck. The date was so horrible all you want to do is crawl into familiar, comforting arms and cry yourself to sleep. You’re about to pour your third glass of wine when there is a sudden knock on the door, followed by it swinging open. Taehyung stands there with your spare key in his hand, eyes wide with concern.

“Are you okay?” he asks, breathless as he clearly sprinted up the stairs to get here and now you feel infinitely worse for it.

You shake your head which earns you a pained sound from Taehyung but you hold up your hand, silencing him. “I’m not shaking my head no as in no I’m not fine, it’s more a I’m such a fool head shake. I’m sorry, Tae. I’m fine. I shouldn’t have said anything, I just—”

“I’m glad you said something. What happened? Do I need to go pay a certain science teacher a visit?” For all his bravado, you know he wouldn’t hesitate if you said yes.

“No, no. It’s not his fault. Well, not entirely. Look, I’m sorry you drove all the way over here.” You discard the empty wine glass in favor of taking a large glug directly from the bottle.

“Hey, hey,” Taehyung says, deftly taking the bottle from your hands before you have the chance to take a second gulp from it. “Stop apologizing and tell me what’s wrong.”

“It was a fucking disaster.”

If Taehyung is surprised by your cussing, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he stills beside you, brow slowly pinching and forming deep furrows between them. “Did he hurt you?” he whispers, but his tone is cold and hard. “I’ll kill him.”

“What? What, oh no, Tae, no. He didn’t hurt me, god no.” You sigh, propping your hip against the lip of the counter and wrapping your arms around your middle. “He was lovely, actually. I was the disaster. Or maybe we were. I don’t know, it was just a terrible night. A terrible idea.”

“Talk to me about it,” Taehyung encourages, his hands landing lightly on your shoulders to steer you toward the couch in the living room.

So, you spend the next hour recounting all the horrid details for him. Everything from the way Namjoon wouldn’t stop talking about rocks and mineralized dirt to the way he tried to kiss you at the end of the night only for you to duck and him to lose his balance, effectively making him face plant into the brick wall of your apartment building.

“See, it was a terrible idea,” you lament, letting out a frustrated sigh.

Taehyung hums softly. “It doesn’t sound like a complete disaster to me. Namjoon was polite, even if he did nothing but talk about his own interests. Did you try changing the subject, or did he ask about you and you gave a dismissive answer?” You give Taehyung an annoyed look. “I’m just saying, you have the tendency to avoid things like that. So, it’s only meant as a means to try and understand. Maybe it can be better next time.”

“There won’t be a next time.” You throw up your hands in defeat. “He said he had a lovely time, but I could see it plain on his face, he was just trying to be nice. He left with a bloody napkin pressed against his mouth for crying out loud!”

“Well, maybe he really—”

“But, most of all,” you continue, speaking over Taehyung, “I didn’t have a good time. I don’t want to do it again. It didn’t make me happy.”

That seems to subdue Taehyung. “Oh,” he says, nodding slowly. “Well, okay, that’s different.”

“I’m broken, defective.”

Taehyung scoffs, giving you a withering look a moment before dragging you into his arms, squeezing you tightly. “You’re not defective. You’re human. All this proves is that maybe the science teacher isn’t the guy for you. Simply just a lack of…chemistry.”

You can’t help but laugh at his bad joke. “You’re terrible,” you say in a lighter tone, meant to tease more than chastise. “But, you’re right, I guess. I just…this was the first date I’ve been on in a long time and it all went so horribly. It’s hard not to think that I somehow messed up, that I’m just…not right, just broken, y’know?” Taehyung’s eyes are soft as you look up at him, trying hard not to let yourself grow too accustomed to the comforting feel of his arms around your shoulders.

“You are perfect, most certainly not broken,” he whispers. You watch from beneath your lashes as a small crease etches across his forehead and you can tell he’s warring with himself over something before he slowly presses a soft kiss against the side of your head. “You just have to give yourself grace. I’m proud of you.” As he says that last part, he gently pulls back, hands resting on your shoulders. His right hand trails down your arm and you feel the soft caress of paper against the back of your hand. “Yejun would be proud of you, too, taking as big of a step as you have, I just know it.”

The envelope is small, but you instantly recognize the shape and feel of the paper. It’s just like the one you got earlier this week—like the one from two years ago. “Should I wait to read it?” you ask, not really expecting an answer.

“I’ll leave if you’d like some privacy.”

And in that moment you realize that’s the last thing you want. “No, please stay. Umm, that is, unless you have something to do.” It’s after midnight, the sour twist of jealousy rears as you think of everything that could possibly take Taehyung away at this hour. You tamp it down, knowing you have no right to keep him here, regardless. “I’m okay, I promise.”

Taehyung’s lip twitches as you wait for him to answer. He shakes his head. “No, I have nothing else to do. I can’t promise I won’t end up crashing on your couch, though,” he says, stifling a yawn in his elbow before lacing his fingers behind his head and stretching out. “I’m here as long as you need me.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch and spreading it out over Taehyung’s legs before curling up on the opposite end of the couch. Taehyung shifts around the blanket with his feet, making sure the other end covers your legs as well.

“Don’t have to thank me,” he sighs sleepily. “I just want to make you happy.”

You’re not sure if he misspoke, because surely he meant only that he wants to see you happy. Because, as it is, him saying he wants to make you happy…well, that does something funny to you. Though, you can probably blame that on the terrible date with Namjoon or the half a bottle of wine you drank. Either way, you can’t help but smile as you look at Taehyung laying on the other end of your couch, eyes closed, and chest rising and falling with deep, even breathing.

You take a moment, running back over the date with Namjoon in your head, fingers idly moving along the edge of the envelope. It started out so nicely, Namjoon standing outside your apartment with a bouquet of flowers. They made your nose itch and your eyes water a bit from how overly fragrant they were—clearly some mass grown clippings from a supermarket—but you smiled anyway, appreciating the gesture.

Dinner was lovely, the new restaurant proving to be worth the drive and money spent. It’s perhaps your own fault for thinking Namjoon might pay for the meal and it didn’t hurt you any to pay for your own, but it felt oddly…impersonal? Less like a date and more like a business meeting or something. You’re not too old to be naive in the sense that women are just as capable of paying for dinner as men, as well as the fact that men shouldn’t hold the complete burden of expense on dates. It’s just…it was unusual and he didn’t even bring it up, simply told the waiter to split the check before it was brought.

It’s not helped by the fact that Namjoon wouldn’t stop talking about work or soil deposits. And perhaps Taehyung was at least half right in the fact that you didn’t put forth a lot of effort to change the subject, but the way you see it, if Namjoon was interested in knowing about you, he would have asked. Though, is that expecting too much? Are you being too harsh? Maybe you’re projecting and Namjoon really wasn’t that bad.

Before you can continue to spiral any further, you force your thoughts to the letter in your hand. Hoping it’ll put your ill heart at ease, you extract the folded parchment and smooth it out.

To the love of my life, For after your first date Hi, baby. First, I want to say that I love you. Second, I hope he at least made you smile. If he didn’t bring you flowers or even those cheap ones from the supermarket, don’t think too much of it. I’ll let you in on a little guy secret, not all of us are well versed on flora and even less so on women. Even if it didn’t go so well, though I hope it did, you can’t give up. Go on another date, with the same person or someone else, you just can’t stop now. Take as many adventures as you can, do something spontaneous. You never did take that dance class you wanted to a few years ago. Paint, travel, explore the world. Take Sujin to places we never got to go. Just don’t stop, keep turning, even if it’s slowly. I’m so proud of you, you know? No matter what, I know you’re going to be okay. You’re going to make it. I can’t wait to see all you do. You’re going to be wonderful. You’re amazing, keep shining, baby. I love you so much. Forever With You, Your Yejun

Tucking the letter against your heart, you snuggle down in the couch, mind racing. You feel lighter somehow, like Yejun’s words have given you far more affirmation than you thought possible. The terrible date doesn’t seem so disastrous now.

“You okay?”

You startle at the soft question, thinking Taehyung was fast asleep. His eyes are barely cracked open, peering at you over his bent, blanket-covered knees.

“Mm, yeah. I think so,” you say after clearing your throat.

“Good…good,” Taehyung murmurs, his eyes falling shut once more.

“Hey, Tae?”

“Hmm?” His eyebrows raise but he doesn’t open his eyes. You take a moment to truly see him, the soft light from the stand lamp on the other side of the room illuminating him in profile. The soft curve of his cheek, the delicate slope of his nose, and the pouty bow of his lips aren’t new features, but you’re not sure you’ve ever truly paid attention to how breathtakingly handsome he is.

“Will you help me?”

Taehyung’s lips twitch as a mild frown turns down his lips. “Help you?”

“With whatever comes next.”

“Whatever you need, I’m yours,” he mumbles, a soft smile replacing his frown. You watch him for a moment longer, his lips going even softer as the smile fades with sleep. His chest rises and falls, your eyes tracking the motion in the dim lighting until you feel the pull of sleep yourself. Taehyung is the last thing you see before you close your eyes, and for the first time in over two years, you sleep peacefully; with a subtle warmth blooming in your chest where once there was only cold.

Next Chapter⇾ (coming soon!) ◅ Back to story masterlist

◅ Back to Main Master List ©️ 2024-03-18 ColorMePurplex2

#taehyung x reader #bts taehyung #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung fanfic #taehyung imagines #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #kim taehyung #bts non idol au #bts imagines #bangtanwhq

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jujitto · 4 months

Text

▬▬ [𝗘𝗡𝗛𝗬𝗣𝗘𝗡] QUARANTINE W/ YOU

HEESEUNG, quarantine with him would be the most chill quarantine of your life. the two of you are usually lounging around either watching movies or playing video games. the two of you are occasional bakers which started during quarantine. karaoke and dance competitions would be a thing in the house as well as nap cuddles. quarantine with the two of you is something you both enjoy and you guys get to spend some much-needed time together.

JAY, at the beginning of quarantine, you guys were just how you were before. though when it finally hit you guys that you couldn't go out of the house it was around week 10. though you both didn't say it you guys knew that you both would annoy the living daylights out of each other and that's just what happened. you would always pick on jay for no reason while he ignored you. at one point you guys acted normal which consisted of you guys eating junk food, watching nonstop anime marathons, and online shopping. quarantine for the most part would be nothing but the norm for you two.

JAKE, your quarantine where it would be mostly him trying to encourage you to do fun things with him. around the second week of quarantine, you kind of warmed up to the idea of doing something fun. quarantine with jake would be hella funny because this boy would just have jokes for days. there is no doubt in my mind that you guys will have a talent show and just for the fun of it too. jake is your #1 cheerleader/hype man for just about everything. i feel like jake would have a checklist for all the fun things you guys could do while stuck in the house. layla is with y'all so don't worry about that. with having two chaotic puppies in the house with you for quarantine I'm sure you'll find something to do.

SUNGHOON, sunghoon would try his best to enjoy quarantine with you. yes, I said to try his best. deep late-night conversations because like where y'all gotta go in the morning? staring contests which sunghoon would most definitely win unless you cheat. quarantine is the best time for changes. you decided to change your hairstyle so many times meanwhile sunghoon was just sitting there watching like this 🙂. 24/7 surprise kisses like mans could be watching a movie and you would be right there just to kiss him before going to do whatever it is you were doing. at some point during quarantine, he hid from you just to get peace for himself. but you found him eventually and you guys had a quiet picnic in the backyard. quarantine is soft and cute but please let this man breathe some.

SUNOO, you poor baby. you are going to be struggling during quarantine with sunoo. this boy just won't let you breathe with his sassiness but don't worry you'll be right there keeping the same energy. from day one you guys are clowning one another. at some point he gets tired of it all and just wants to cuddle. cuddling takes up most of the day as he wraps his arms around you and lays his head on your shoulder. big fat cheek kisses become a thing during quarantine also star gazing. disney movie marathons are a must with you two. you going bankrupt from the amount of money spent on takeout. doing his makeup all pretty and having runway shows. a fun and somewhat iconic way to spend quarantine with sunoo.

JUNGWON, now jungwon our precious leader of Enhypen has no problem staying in the house especially since it meant he had you all to himself. quarantine is where the iconic moment where you killed him on among us happened. he didn't speak to you for like a few days after it happened. once he gets over it you guys are back to what you were doing which was either cuddling or making goofy faces at each other because I feel like that is something you guys would do. doing his hair is a must and you bought little hair barrettes and clips for him. blanket forts are a thing, especially ones decorated with fairy lights, comfortable pillows, and tons and i mean tons of snacks. Oh and don't forget about playing animal crossing because that's something you guys do too. but being yourself you trapped him and stole from his little village. quarantine was a time when you gave the poor boy tons of headaches and betrayals but he would do it all over again if he had to.

NIKI, quarantine with mr. nishimura riki would be the most chaotic and yet funniest quarantine ever. you guys would be playing childhood games like marbles, tic tac toe, tag, and hide and seek but during the hide and seek game you would get the jump scare of your life because niki is a menace. cooking should not be something you guys do because of you burned ramen. how do you manage to burn cup ramen?! 🤦🏾‍♀️. niki also telling you ghost stories is a must. during the entire story time you're either like this 🤔 or 😨. pick your side babes. during the entirety of the quarantine, there will be an ongoing prank war happening between you two because that's just what chaotic weirdos do. there would be a brief intermission in the war for you guys to stop and chill. you guys would cuddle and act all cute towards each other before continuing your war. overall quarantine with you two is just simply the most chaotic headassery shit ever.

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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year

Note

Hi! Can I request a love triangle headcannons with Johan & Eli? Thank you in advance 💙

I'll be honest. My response is late but I have been thinking a lot about this dynamic ever since I've seen this. In a word: stressful.

Have... whatever the hell this is. And thanks for requesting anon!

Johan Seong/Reader/Eli Jang love triangle hc

This is not a joke. In this essay I will...

Yikes, you're really picking the two with the lowest tolerance for romantic bullshit?

Listen. Any sort of love triangle involving Johan Seong is the worst kind of headache you can ever imagine. See - one night of PAID FRIENDSHIP with Jace Park.

This guy does. not. share.

You really don't want to bring out those sort of mushy squishy feelings from Johan and not fully reciprocate it. What's worse though, is he will not confess so you have to be observant and perceptive yourself.

Give him a definitive yes or a no.

And Eli Jang is pretty guarded with romance after Heather. He's trying to be a good father to Yenna while also taking care of Hostel or whatever the fuck this dumbdumb is upto these days so he doesn't have time for romance.

Having feelings for you brings a lot of turmoil and stress that is very much unwelcomed. Thinks about you a lot. Playing happy family in his head once all this blows over.

Eli's a very busy guy and doesn't seek you out, though will call and message quite a bit. Just to talk to you and be friendly, even though this is completely not the type of thing he does.

How a love triangle could work

The only way I would see this working is if you are not aware of their feelings for you. If you do know and keep stringing them along, they will definitely peace out asap.

Them being aware of each other's feelings won't be a dealbreaker, but during the more... difficult moments, they might just think it is more effort than it's worth with everything else happening around them.

Surprisingly little crossover between these two. There was their fights quite a while back, but Eli and Johan are very much like two ships passing. Similar arcs with being Gun's successors and being trained by Tom Lee.

Basically, you're never going to really see them together but they WILL give you a migraine.

So. Some actual headcanons

These are opposites in many ways.

Eli will try to take up your time mentally, but Johan will almost always physically be around. Trailing after you, being with you.

If you get some pings on your phone, Johan's guard would immediately go up. Who is that?? Would never outright ask, the irritation simmering below the surface and jealousy exhibiting through other actions.

Similarly, take too long to respond back to Eli then he will start having all these doubts. Less about his actual feelings for you, but more on the timing and whether seeking you out is a good idea at all.

And because there is so little interaction between these two, unfortunately you are stuck in the middle.

AND they seem like the type that would always harbour a grudge against each other for their previous run ins (especially Johan), and see each other as competition. Vying for your affection is just another way for them to butt heads.

Eli through the phone: "tell Johan I can always give him a haircut, he looks like he needs one." Johan, being so quick-witted, will probably respond with "fuck off" and give you the cold shoulder for days.

Or Johan will hide your phone or distract you so much that you forget to respond back to Eli or completely miss his call.

They're both hot and cold in different ways. Johan will be mad at his feelings for you, stay away, and then find he can't. During his sweeter moments, he will be around you a lot, something of a lost puppy. But when he's at his most childish and selfish worst, he will vanish for ages leaving you to worry.

As mentioned, Eli will just be constantly fretting about the timing of this and feeling guilty about speaking to you when his focus should be elsewhere. So he might go quiet and pull away for a bit. Eventually, you'll contact him and then he'll think hearing your voice, reading your texts, occasionally seeing your face makes it worth it though.

In summary

Good fucking luck with these two.

The best advice is to be perceptive of their feelings for you then stay in one goddamn lane.

#if youve made it this far congrats #ramblings of a madwoman #and sorry for any forgotten details #might have forgotten some huge plot points tbh #lookism headcanons #lookism x reader #lookism hc #lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #eli jang #eli jang x reader #johan seong #johan seong x reader #wannaeatramyeon

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scratchandplaster · 4 months

Text

FEBUWHUMP DAY 6 - "You lied to me"

CW: parental Whumper, hypnosis, emotional manipulation, interrogation, conditioning

Previous | [Masterlist] | Next

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

"There are still plenty of thoughts inside your head, so let's get them in order."

Shepard was intently focused on his son. Above now dried tear tracks, his unblinking attention denied Ben to be unguarded for even one second, whilst his assertive but nevertheless mellow tone carried him along a carved-out path.

Possessive strokes down his back dragged him further: "Down, just down, always deeper down. We can't choose our sorrows, but you can choose to let them go for a moment, to let me help forget them. Follow my lead."

In and out, it was impossible to resist the pace he was taught so well.

"I would count you down, but you know all my old tricks."

Shepard was not naive, he had to be extremely lucky that his charade still worked after all these months Reuben spent on his own, poisoning his mind and spirit out in the world. That he still responded obediently to the suggestions of the past was a goddamn miracle. One he would gladly use to its full potential.

"Remember all the times we did this before," Shepard repeated for good measure. So many, many times, half of which Ben couldn't even recall. Today was far from the first instance he helped to quiet his ward's nettled thoughts.

It was about time to rectify old lies.

"You always knew where Lukas was, though we both know you claimed otherwise," Shepard sighed low, "Will you tell me now?"

The soft face on his shoulder began to stir back to wakefulness, his bottom lip scrunched up in painful guilt. Rough start.

"Shh, forget that, it was a stupid question. You did nothing wrong." Comforting reassurance and soft circles drawn onto his temples helped to smooth out any risen qualm. "I know it's difficult for you to stay alert during this state, so I'm keeping this easy for us. Just Yes or No from now on, you don't even have to say a word."

Reuben showed himself more agreeable and leaned back against him.

"Is Lukas doing well?"

A small nod. Good.

"Is he eating enough? You know how he always skips breakfast."

Again, Ben nodded against the rough wool of Shepard's sweater while the same tediously tried to keep this interview on track: he could embrace his success later, when both of his sons were near him again. However, the abandoned father was ready to reap the fruits of his endeavor.

"Do you want to tell me where he is?"

Ben quickly shook his head. No, not yet.

"Mhh, I understand."

It felt horrible how easy it was to make him tell the truth, but Shepard had no interest nor intention to question his parenting methods at the moment. He knew exactly what limits confined them: he couldn't make Reuben do or forget anything he didn't want to, at least if he failed to be persuasive enough.

Shepard's boy was easy to read and just as simple as he was loyal to both his brother and father. But not in equal parts, Shepard was at a certain disadvantage he ought to correct.

Children like them were too inept for the world outside the settlement, so it was no wonder Reuben merely crumpled under the first selfless act of affection in a long time. If his forgiveness was not given freely, Shepherd could just rip it from his fragile heart. For both their peace of mind, nothing else.

"You know how much I love you, both of you."

The shake of Ben's head said it all. It hadn't even been a question, but the blunt answer pricked nonetheless.

"Oh, well, I love you more than the world. I did everything to get you back!" Shepard mused softly, "If not me, what about the rest of our family?"

Kind memories of the people who waited for him outside rinsed Ben of any stray thoughts and drifted with him into the depths. He never wanted to hurt any of them with his decisions.

"Did you miss us?"

Ben affirmed this shyly, grabbing a corner of Shepard's sweater.

"You are safe here, right?"

A nod.

"You are safe with me."

At the claim, Ben's head rolled around aimlessly, as if he was trying to stir awake again. Shepard tutted; this was a tricky one.

"You are here with me and the others, all together. We watch out for each other, we keep each other secure."

Yes, this made sense. Through the pleasant, thick fog that filled his head, Ben knew it to be sincere.

"Here, you are safe. With us, you are safe."

Safe...together. He couldn't possibly disagree with these smooth words.

"You are safe and loved by us all, we were awaiting your return. Always putting an extra plate on the dinner table for when you decide to come back."

Shepard had to endure countless days of waiting before accepting that his youngest would stay gone. He had searched for him for so long it made him sick with fear, not knowing if his sons were hurt or fraternizing with God knows what kind of people. Yet, he didn't want for Reuben to realize the damage he had caused, not when he was so calm and open for the right input.

"And today our wishes were granted!"

Warmth, safety, love. Encased by these sensations, Ben's mind caught itself slipping into easy relaxation once again.

"Can you say it for me, can you tell me that you're safe and loved?"

"'m safe and loved," he slurred quietly against the wool. It felt good to be here in his dad's arms, it felt right.

"That's my boy, I knew we could stand above the past."

Shepard's sweet promises hugged his exhausted soul, he was too tired of running, adapting, changing. They tried to teach Ben what to say and what to hide out there, but the only thing he understood was to never be himself; another truth nobody could ever tell his brother. He remembered exactly how angry and disappointed Luke loved to get with him.

Cupping his face carefully, Shepard pushed him to sit straight up: "Open your eyes."

With a wide, empty stare but not awake in the slightest, Ben continued to sway back and forth. He was unsure what Dad wanted from him and too dizzy to care, silently begging to be allowed back into the stream of soft, dark dreaminess. Tears collected at the corners of his eyes, but Shepard was far from done with him: "Ben, tell me what you are when you're with us."

"I'm safe and I'm loved," tumbled from his lips without thinking twice about it.

"Yes, you are." Relief washed over Ben like a tsunami: he didn't do anything wrong after all, nobody hated him here.

"Now close these heavy eyes and relax."

As he sagged back down, the inward pull doubled its force. He felt that the soap bubble his brain had become threatened to pop. Too much to focus on, nothing to think about, clutching onto the inner peace Dad had so kindly given him.

"We all love you so much. Missing is too weak a word to explain how desperately we wanted you back. You are always wanted here."

Every word was law.

Shepard should feel dirty at using Reuben's obvious weaknesses so bluntly against him, but not today. Today they would celebrate his return and plan the one they enjoyed as soon as the other prodigal son decided to come home. A selfish sting inside Shepard's heart forced the next question out: "Did you miss me?"

A final nod made tears run down Ben's face. Shepard hugged him tighter, as if he never intended to let go again:

"I missed you too, starshine, it's going to be alright. Everything falls into place when we are together."

Numb with joy, Ben felt too tired to hold on to the present any longer, a problem his father gladly helped him with: "Sleep now, sleep and let my words manifest as truth in your mind."

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Febuwhump 2024 Masterlist]

@febuwhump

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thestargirlfromoon · 1 year

Note

I have a request if that’s okay. What about Jumin, Zen and GE Saeran reacting to their lonely female mc wanting more love and affection because the rfa members were busy? Like, feeling spoiled, wanting them to pepper her face with kisses, cuddle her and tickle her. (non sexual fluff please)

Hii, of course it's okay, requests and asks are very welcome!^^

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Let's start with Jumin:

Jumin honestly loves it the most when Mc feels a little needy because he loves to pamper you in every way.Jumin is a busy man but after noticing that you seemed down and lonely lately he decided to set aside a day to take a break from his work to give you more attention, he was looking forward to spending more time with you, even more so when the opportunity to pamper you came up.

After seeing the smile that appeared on your face after he told you that he had planned in detail how the two of you would spend a productive day together as a couple, he shower you with quiet, gentle kisses.In the evening he prepare an overly fancy dinner for you and kiss your hand several times looking into your eyes with a small smile.When it was time to go to sleep he will make sure to stay by your side reading books and telling you stories until you fell asleep. Don't be surprised if in the next day he shows you a blurry photo he took of you while you were asleep and telling you how lovely you are, thus starting a new session of kissing.

Saeran:

He gets a little sad when you are feeling lonely because he knows the feeling very well since before he met you he was very lonely,

Saeran pays a lot of attention to you so he quickly noticed that you feel a bit needy when RFA is busy as you have no one to talk to and need attention and affection, he would make sure to spend the day by your side and whisper a lot of loving and corny things while hugging you.

He would start with a cuddling session for quite a while while repeatedly stating how much he loves you and doesn't want you to forget this even when you are feeling lonely.Since Saeran wants to create many memories with you, after the hugging session, he decides to take you to a park full of flowers for the two of you to spend a good time together.He ask you to lie down on the grass next to him so you two can watch the sky together with your head resting on his chest. When you ended up falling asleep he watch your peaceful face giving you a little kiss on the forehead and turning back to look at the sky with a grateful smile for having you in his life while holding you even tighter.

When he finally wakes you up, he gives you a small bouquet of flowers smiling and blushing.

Zen:

Zen is kind of possesive and deep down he would like him to be the only man you have contact with so he would see this moment as an opportunity to show you how much he loves you and that he is the most suitable man for you and you two are made for each other but regardless of everything he wants you to be happy and feel adored.

First of all he ask you what's wrong after seeing you a little gloomy and when you admit that you feel lonely because all the RFA is so busy lately, he would hug you saying that you have him and that he will always be available for you.

He go to his room to get all the beauty products he has and then come over to you who were sitting on the couch and ask you if you want to do skin care together with him.

After using face masks together and various other products, he even lets you do his makeup and paint his nails for his amusement.

Although you did a funny make-up and made a mess on his face to play with him, he just laugh and let it go this time since you seem to be enjoying yourself.

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marieisaghost · 2 years

Text

Cute as a boopable nose

Summary: You offered him a warm bath to help him relax. Although, you weren't expecting that Shigaraki would ask you to join him.

Aspects: Soft!Shiggy - self-consciousness - not established relationship, but there's implicitly a deep bond

Genre: fluff (?)

---------------

Shiagraki knows you shouldn't find him anything but revolting. Yet you look him in the eyes and say impressive shit like he's pretty. That his eyes are beautiful or that his hands are sexy. For someone who has never felt any other kind of love than the one who takes away his peace of mind, it's puzzling.

There's a quiet sense of comfort to your words, followed by the growing anxiety of ignoring how to react, despite desperately wishing to. At times, the worst parts of him yell that you're lying. It itches everywhere, making him uneasy.

Even after explaining the reason behind treating him with mind-wrecking kindness is that you love him and not that he is your leader, Tomura finds such a thing more than hard to believe.

"I'm taking it off now, okay?" you say lovingly.

Shigaraki slowly nods. Then you remove his shirt, after which he helps you peel off his pants. You help him get into the hot tub you prepared earlier. The components of this new dermatological foam you bought for him soothe the itching of his skin almost instantly.

Allowing you to see the most intimate parts in the most vulnerable moments feels all kinds of raw. Wrong and good all at once. You're always doing soft things Tomura explicitly tells you he doesn't need, and little by little you managed to tumble down his walls. At first, it irked him. But now Shigaraki can't picture his life if you weren't there. It's as shocking as it is terrifying, and even so, Tomura is right here, letting you do this.

"Feels good?" you ask. A warm smile draws on your face.

That question suddenly seems abstract. "I guess so," Tomura says. "It helped."

"I'm glad,” you comment lightly. “I like when you look relaxed. It brings out how cute you are."

A tickling-like sensation swirls inside his stomach. Vibrant, candid, and exciting in ways Shigaraki doesn't quite know how to process. His cheeks instantly burn bright.

"I am not- You shouldn't lie so nonchalantly."

You hum in response, removing a couple of wet locks from his face to take a better look. His wrinkles and damaged skin look much healthier after a couple of days of using the cream you gave him.

"I'm not lying to you," you tell him, gently grasping his hair to wash it. "I do think you are cute.” You scanned him with your eyes, pretending to think. “Maybe it’s your nose."

“Maybe you need glasses,” Tomura thinks out loud, stunned.

You give out a small laugh. It’s light, soft, and soothing. You lean, gazing into Tomura’s eyes with such a loving look he almost feels out of place. “Hmm, yep, it’s definitely your nose. It’s quite boopable.”

“How about you finish what you started instead of saying nonsense?” Tomura says, barely holding himself together due to embarrassment. He passes you a soft hypoallergenic sponge.

“Fine, fine. You don’t need to be grumpy,” you tease.

“I am not grumpy,” he tells you, narrowing his eyes.

"Is the water temperature okay?"

"It's fine."

You begin washing his chest, massaging his shoulder with your free hand. Shigaraki sighs, leaning back against the tub as he lets his head fall back. There's a moment of silence after that.

You decide to massage both shoulders, squeezing his points of tension. Tomura’s muscles were rock hard, as it couldn't be otherwise after all the sleepless nights fighting machia, not to mention all the re-Destro drama.

You sigh. While you admire what he does, it's painful seeing him hurting. So you do your best to sweeten up Tomura’s spare time the best you can. And it pays off fairly well, as Shigaraki often thinks it’s only during these moments between you that he can forget everything.

When you caress his cheek, Shigaraki glances at you before poking under your eye with a single shaky finger. "Seems like you could keep something inside those bags."

You gape, covering the place he touched with your hand, utterly offended. Your expression seems to be funny to him.

"Rude."

"No. I'm just saying you're tired too, aren't you?" Tomura reasons, “I’m fine. You can go rest.”

“I don’t need resting,” you retort as you keep washing him off. “I’m okay.”

“Don’t contradict your leader,” he says in a bantering tone. “Go. Get some rest.”

“You’re more than the leader to me,” you voice, giving Tomura a sweet smile. “You know that, right?”

You hold his face sweetly. “ I want to take care of you and I want you to be okay because I love you. So you better get used to this.”

There it is again. The type of affection Shigaraki doesn't understand, yet he feels it bubbling in his guts. And it's so fucking good he can't help being eager for more. Suddenly, he gives two fucks if you're lying. Shigaraki clings to your words, and it's now clear on his mind that he's never letting you go.

"Fine, but I won't be selfish this time."

You quirk a brow.

Shigaraki holds your wrist with only three fingers. "Get in the tub with me."

All you can do is blink at him, perplexed. "I- I don’t think that’s good for your skin."

"It's fine. It's not itchy anymore." Or at least not as much.

He's dead serious. You can tell by the look in his eyes.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

****

The second you start stripping, Shigaraki glues his gaze to the wall as if his life depends on it. He wants to make sure you know he didn't do this because he's some kind of creep. It's about reciprocity.

He notices then that this is the first time he's allowed you so close to him. The prospect of sharing something so intimate tickles his tummy.

You press your back on the opposite side of the tub, letting out a sigh of relief as the warm water soothes you. "Ah, soo nice!"

You gaze at Tomura, who's looking at you with a glow you’ve never seen in his eyes. Would it be okay to stretch the limit a bit? You bet on it.

"Come here," you tell him while opening your arms to him.

Shigaraki grimaces. "How?"

"Press your back to me, and relax. I'll keep massaging your shoulders."

Tomura tilts his head. "The point of this was even things up."

"There's nothing to even up." you retort, "But if you want to do something for me, just come here." You stop in your tracks at the sound of that sentence and hastily add, "Only if you're okay with it!"

Tomura mulls it over for a second before he motions up. "Don't look."

You grin, "No, sir." You cover your eyes with both hands and only open them when you feel his back trying to settle against your chest. Shigaraki winds up resting his head over your shoulder as you embrace him from behind.

You kiss the top of his head.

“I don’t hate this,” he grants. It sounds as if he just realized it.

#shigaraki tomura #tenko shimura #tomura shiragaki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki #shiggy #lov x reader #lov bnha

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d-a-r-l-i-i-n-g · 1 year

Note

this is a weird request lol, but could you do a marlon, violet and mitch x fem reader with narcolepsy? like they sleep ALOT...

tysm lovely, u dont gotta! have a good dayy

Ofcc sorry if I got to this late I always answer requests from others, so I hope you didn't think I wasn't going to do your request <3

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :clementine: ♡˗

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Clem knows that you sleep a lot and honestly she doesn't really know what to say, I mean she thinks you are so cute when she walks in on you sleeping, and she can't help but laugh, but when she has to wake you up she always does it gently, sometimes she tells the others to quiet down when you are sleeping, she does get kind of confused as to how you could sleep in a literal apocalypse, but oh well, when it's the two of you, she loves coming up and cuddling with you when your sleeping, and when you're awake you two basically just talk and hold hands and dance around the room, once you had a dream that you and clem we're outside in the rain playing around in the court area (honestly forgot what you call it but yk the area with a statue and bunch of benches where they all eat) and from then on you thought it was the best idea, once when it did rain you clem and AJ played in the rain together stomping on puddles and such, but when you sleep it also means clem gets a chance to sleep as well, I don't think she could care less how long you sleep, just as long as your awake to help the others, to get food, and kill of walkers.

˚ ༘♡ ·˚꒰Violet꒱ ₊˚ˑ

═══════════════ ⋆★⋆ ═════════════════

Alright, first of all, how can anyone sleep during these times she knows she can't, it takes her ages for her to fall asleep, let alone sleep all the time, she kind of jealous that you sleep all the time like a baby, with no troubles, she would always tell you to get up, and for you to stop sleeping, and it annoyed you obviously, anyway when you two got together she realised that she slept much better with you like she would cuddle up to you and you two would sleep for ages, this time Louis would be the one waking you two up, any way you two would go out and star gaze and come back, and cuddle and fall asleep, she would let you sleep on her, or lay your head down on her lap, if anyone had a problem with it you know she is gonna be the first to snap back, sometimes she would run her fingers through your hair gently whilst you slept, and she honestly found you adorable, when you did sleep, you looked at peace.

↳-Louis-༉‧₊˚✧

•❅───────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

You know he is teasing you for sleeping a lot, like you look so adorable sleeping, just like Vi and clem he doesn't understand how you could sleep in a world like this so peacefully but at the same time he does understand, I guess sleeping makes you forget about the shit that's going on in the real world, but you did it so often, so he had to come and wake you up, he didn't want to you looked so peaceful lying there, but he had to, once you two started to date he would cuddle up beside you slept, it was a peaceful moment, a moment where he forgot what was going on outside, you would read him stories before going to sleep and he found it adorable that you would nearly sleep anywhere if he had a camera he would take so many pictures of you when you slept in the music room he was kinda bummed just means he couldn't play his piano or he would wake you up when you were awake though you two were menaces always so hyper and did everything together, and if your that type of tired person or just calm, he'd be the one that's energetic, and cracking jokes, what can I say he loves you so much. (they all do)

#twdg x reader #twdg louis x reader #twdg violet x reader #twdg clementine s4 x reader #twdg x reader fluff

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jazzycurls · 2 years

Text

I want to know what love is -

pt.2

Summary: After years of being stuck in an abusive marriage you are hoping to start a new life with your son. Meeting an old acquaintance awakens feelings in you that you thought were long gone. Will your broken heart allow you to love again?

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Warnings/Tags: No use of y/n, angst, PTSD, domestic violence, injuries, brief arguing/raised voices, curse words, hurt/comfort, fluff, future smut, (let me know if I missed something)

Word Count: 5,050

An: Hi you guys! This is my first attempt at writing of any kind. I'm also new to Tumblr and don't know how to create links to a master list. All feedback is welcome, be gentle please haha. Please do not steal or copy my work. Don’t repost without credit. This is my written work, everything besides the characters and plot points by the original writers, belongs to me.

You impatiently tapped your foot as you stood in the checkout line of Bradley's Big Buy supermarket. The lines were extremely long today due to only one cashier manning the register. There was also some sort of party going on this weekend, you had seen numerous buggies of party foods and cheap beer being bought.

Your buggy contained a six-pack along with popcorn and some essentials for the house. You were preparing for the movie night you had planned with Eddie tonight. The both of you had agreed that he would get the movies and candy leaving you to get popcorn. The beer was something you'd thought of at the last minute while at the store.

Your son was spending the weekend with your mom and dad giving you a much-needed break. You loved your son dearly but you were looking forward to some peace and quiet.

You huffed as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, trying to ease the slight ache in your feet. The wine of a baby caught your attention, looking ahead you noticed a young woman in front of you holding her baby, patting and bouncing him on her hip trying to keep him quiet.

She looked to be in her early twenties, still a baby herself. Seeing her reminded you of yourself and how much you struggled as a young parent. You didn't have much guidance and had to rely on the advice of the older women in the park. Although you had forgiven your parents a small part of you could never forget how they had essentially abandoned you and their grandson when you needed them most.

The line shifted and you moved forward looking at your watch noting it to be a quarter past three. At this point it would be nighttime before you got out of here, you thought shaking your head.

Thirty minutes later you had checked out and were walking to your truck. You unlocked the door and began to unload your items into the passenger side.

"Hey muffin," a raspy voice said behind you.

You gasped as your body lurched forward, shaking with fear. Taking a deep breath you willed yourself to turn around, facing your husband. He stood a few feet away from you, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"What are you doing here?" your voice was edged with fear.

"I got the papers," he stated ignoring your question. He walked closer to you, slowly as if he was a predator trying to avoid spooking his prey.

You remained silent too shocked to respond. Your eyes darted left and right, seeking desperately for help or a way out.

Noticing your expression he tensed, taking his hands out and balling them by his sides. "Stop overreacting, I'm just trying to have a conversation with you." he bit out.

You opened your mouth and closed it again, your words failing you. Waiting a moment you were able to respond "Please l-let me g-go, I'm scared!" you pleaded, frantic with fear.

He sprung forward, closer towards you, invading your personal space. His arms slammed into the truck on each side of you effectively caging you in.

A bolt of panic hit you causing you to shout in fear. He slapped a hand over your mouth to shut you up and glanced around the parking lot, making sure no one had seen anything. Tears streamed down your face running over his hands.

He leaned in close his stale breath fanning across your face "I'm not signing those fucking papers, so you can just forget about that." he sneered. Suddenly he leaned back and smiled "It was nice talking with you," he said loudly. He turned and walked briskly in the other direction getting into a red car you hadn't noticed before.

You didn't dare move, making sure he got into the car and watching him drive away. As the car passed you noticed a woman looking at you, none other than Cindy Johnson. Looking closer you noticed that her features were twisted in concern and something else you couldn't interpret.

You had finally gotten home, having gone back into the store and called your father to come to pick you up. You were shaken up and were in no position to drive home. Your mother stayed at their home with your son not wanting to alert him that something was wrong.

The police were called as well and you filed a report of the incident with your father by your side for support. Lucky for you the store had just installed surveillance cameras in the parking and store due to the upsurge in disappearances lately.

You had left your truck after taking out your purchases and loading them into your dad's car. He assured you that he would find a way to get your truck home to you and not to worry about it. The drive home was silent, you were too shocked and numb to hold a conversation.

After you had arrived home, your father made sure to check the windows and called a locksmith to replace the locks on the doors. Once he was satisfied that you were okay he hugged you goodbye promising to call you later.

You were now alone, alone with your thoughts, alone with your anger, alone with the shame of the cowardice you felt, and most of all alone with the fear of what was yet to come. The clock ticked loudly making your breath suddenly catch, all air in the room seemed to dissipate, leaving you gasping for breath.

Blood pounded in your ears and you stood up in a panic trying to regain control of your senses. Your chest heaved up and down frantically as you clutched your chest in alarm, unable to catch your breath.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door catching your attention. Still gripping your chest, you stumbled to the door throwing it open. The panic you felt outweighed the thought of who could be on the other side, hoping that whoever it was could help you.

Eddie stood smiling cheesily on the other side arms full of tapes and goodies. His face quickly fell at the state you were in. Dropping everything on the porch he rushed to your side kicking the door closed.

"Hey, hey it's okay," he said softly, as he walked towards you slowly. "C-can I touch you? "I just want to help," he said sincerely holding his arms out to you.

You nodded frantically, giving your consent.

He quickly wrapped you up in his arms rubbing your back soothingly. "Take deep breaths, in and out kay"? "On three," he urged you calmly. "One....two....three.....One....two....three...." he repeatedly counted.

Your head laid upon his chest, fingers twisted in the fabric of his shirt as you desperately inhaled and exhaled on his count. Tears streamed down your face at the exertion on your body.

Slowly he lowered you both, sitting on the floor. He turned you around so your back was pressed to his chest. He continued to count and began to breathe in and out himself, allowing you to follow the rhythm of his breathing.

Leaning back you close your eyes, focusing on his words and breathing. You increase your inhale in and exhale out as you struggle to regain control of your breathing. He rubs your arms soothingly, keeping you grounded and centered.

Moments pass and your nerves finally settle allowing your body to function normally. You feel sore, your chest aching from your battle to breathe. Sitting up slowly, you move forward to get up, stumbling back to your knees.

"Whoa, whoa— take it easy,” he urges catching you before you fall. He helps you up, walking you over to the couch and setting you down gently. He sits beside you grasping your palms and begins to massage comforting circles into the back of your hands.

You avoid his eyes as a wave of shame washes over you, embarrassed that he had to witness you having a panic attack and also grateful that he showed up when he did.

"I'm sorry— I didn't..." you choke on a sob, your eyes welling with hot tears. You wipe them away angrily, ashamed all over again for having poured all of this onto him.

He pulls you into a hug wrapping his arms around you, "Don't you dare apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for." he assures you.

Fresh tears fall anew, in that moment you felt safe. Safe to let your guard down and release all of your pain. Settling your arms around his neck you lay your head on his chest, allowing yourself to cry as he held you, rubbing your back gently.

You're not sure how long the moment lasts, it feels as if it's seconds and hours at the same time. Once your tears subside, you're lulled into a calm state. Still tucked safely into Eddie's arms, not willing to break away and disturb the peace you feel. He had leaned back into the couch to get more comfortable, still keeping you in his embrace.

"My mom had really bad anxiety" Eddie mumbles above you.

You make a noise of acknowledgment, listening to him intently.

Clearing his throat he continues "My father— he wasn't a good person," "Terrorizing her every chance he could, eventually, he broke her." he stated emptily.

"I was young, too young to protect her, I had to learn how to help her whenever she had an attack," he explained.

You lower your arms to your sides and lean back from him to look into his eyes. They look cold and distant as if he's been transported to another time and place.

"I'm sorry about your mom and that you had to experience that," you say sincerely. "No child should have to take care of their parent."

He nods his head in acknowledgment. "I just don't want you to feel sorry for what just happened," he says smiling softly.

You smile in response, feeling ready to share your story as well. "My husband—" you start, stopping to take a deep breath.

Eddie takes your hand in his, squeezing gently, encouraging you silently to continue.

"My husband abuses me," you continue. "Emotionally and physically," you confide holding up your arm wrapped in the cast. "He did this to me during our last fight, if you could call it that," you state humorlessly.

"He left that night and I made the choice to leave him for good, not only for me but for my son too." "He deserves better than to be raised in a broken home, I'd rather be a single parent than to continue to allow that to happen," you say frankly.

"I served him divorce papers and I guess he finally got them." "I'm not sure how he knew where I was but he cornered me today. I had just gotten done shopping when he threatened me," you said shaking your head in disbelief.

You glance at him before continuing "I guess I just broke down and released all of my pent-up emotions," "sorry you had to witness that" you apologize again.

"I thought I told you not to apologize," he chides gently, tapping you playfully on your shoulder.

"I know, but I can't help but feel awful." "We barely know each other, you shouldn't have to be my therapist," you confess jokingly.

"Sweetheart, I think we've passed the point of not knowing each other," he chuckles.

Your breath catches at the pet name. "Well, that was a lot to unpack," you laugh. Although you still felt like shit and your body was sore beyond belief, you honestly felt like a weight had been lifted.

"Right, I've never talked to anyone about my mom and pops before." He thinks for a moment "besides my Uncle Wayne," he admits glancing at you.

"I'm honored that you were comfortable enough to share that with me" you respond flashing him a warm smile.

"Thank you for allowing me to help you," he replies sitting up a bit. "But seriously though, you're stronger than you think," he says. "Just make sure that you keep moving forward and never look back, kay? he pleads.

You nod in agreement and fall into a comfortable silence as you attempt to process all that has happened. You yawn suddenly feeling yourself beginning to crash.

You cover your mouth in apology glancing at Eddie. "Sorry," you say sheepishly.

Eddie looks at you and chuckles. "I guess that's my cue," he says slowly getting up to leave.

You grab the sleeve of his jean jacket impulsively. Not sure what possessed you to do so.

He stops in place and turns to look at you questioningly. "Everything okay," he asks.

"Yeah, I just— Could you please stay? Just in case if...." you trail off unable to finish your sentence. You drop your hand into your lap and lower your eyes to the floor thoroughly embarrassed now.

Eddie laughs lightly causing you to look up at him through your lashes. You notice that a blush has spread across his features.

He rubs a hand through his hair "Of course, as long as you don't mind my snoring," he quips. "I think I could be used as some sorta bear repellent," he says jokingly.

"Well that's good then, you will stop anyone from coming in here," you smirk.

He laughs along with you, his brown eyes crinkling cheerfully. "Where do you want me to sleep," he gestures around the room.

"The couch is a pullout, it's more comfortable than it looks," you tell him. You get up from the couch and head towards the linen closet. "Are you okay with that," you ask as you pull out a spare pillow and blanket.

"Of course, I think I can manage," he smirks. "It's not like my bed is made out of the finest silk," he laughs jokingly. He stops laughing, walking hastily to the door.

You watch him curiously as he opens your door, picking up the bags he dropped earlier. He closes the door behind him "Almost forgot about these" he explains motioning to the bags as he places the items on the table.

"This was so not how I intended our movie night to go," you say feeling slightly annoyed. At this point, it seemed like it would never get to happen.

He thinks for a moment "I'm not mad about it, it just gives me a reason to hang out with you again," he says smoothly. He goes over to the couch and begins removing the cushions to pull out the frame.

You stand there for a moment, shocked into silence. He can't mean that, right? I mean, technically you're still young but the responsibility of being a parent is what sets you apart from others your age.

"You sure you want to waste your free time with an old lady" you kid as you walk over to him to help.

As you finish setting up, he turns towards you his eyes flicker with mischief "well you sure don't look like one," he replies simply. He sits down on the pullout and takes off his shoes and jacket.

Heat spreads throughout your body at his words. Was he flirting with you or was he just being polite? You hand him the pillow and blanket "well, I guess I'll see you in the morning," you say changing the subject.

"See you in the morning," he says with a warm smile.

"Goodnight," you reply softly, backing up towards your room.

"G'night," he replies.

Smiling you turn around and enter your bedroom closing the door. Quickly dressing for bed, you hop in and turn off your light. You lay there staring up at the ceiling completely awake now.

Your mind races a mile a minute, jumping from one thing to the next. After a while, you hear snoring coming from the next room. You laugh softly as a yawn bubbles up from your chest. Turning over you finally fall asleep.

When you awake in the morning Eddie is still sleeping, snoring peacefully. Tiptoeing by him, you go to take a shower. Once you're done you get started cooking breakfast. As you're scrambling the eggs in the skillet, Eddie comes into the kitchen yawning.

"G'morning," he says blearily.

"Good morning," you reply cheerily.

He clears his throat while leaning on the counter. "Need any help," he offers.

"Yeah, could you set the plates on the table, they're in that top cabinet behind you," you say as you turn the eye off on the stove. The toast pops up from the toaster announcing that they are done and you move to take them out.

"I hope you're hungry," you say as you follow behind Eddie with the food. You spoon the food from the skillets onto both plates. You go back into the kitchen to pour some orange juice nearly dropping the cups when you see Eddie close behind you.

"Let me," he says gently, taking the cups from you and walking them over to the table.

"But you're my guest," you protest pouting.

"Yeah, but you've done enough making all of this delicious food," he says spreading his arms out. "Now, it's time for you to relax and enjoy the meal you've prepared," he tells you as he pulls out your chair.

"Thank you," you beam flashing him a smile. "Such a gentleman," you say before taking a bite out of your food.

"That's a first," he laughs as he begins to eat.

You fall into a comfortable silence as you eat your food making small talk in between bites.

Eddie is the first to finish letting out an exaggerated sigh and patting his stomach. "Wow, that was the best meal I've ever had," he exclaims. "Wait that may be the only meal I've ever had," he jokes.

You roll your eyes and grin as you get up to clear the table. Eddie beats you to it saying "please, I insist."

"Only if you let me help, non-negotiable," you reply crossing your arms with a smirk.

"Deal," he says.

After cleaning the kitchen, you both moved to the living room to clean that area as well. You folded the comforter and put it, along with the pillow back into the closet, while Eddie folded the couch back into position.

You worked in silence, once everything was finished you sat on the couch and sighed. Eddie took a seat beside you, close but not enough to invade your space.

"What do you have planned today," he asked you suddenly.

"Nothing really, I was going to go down to the mechanic later and get my brakes changed," you replied.

He perked at that and turned to you suddenly his dark eyes widening "I can totally do that for you," he exclaims.

You laugh at his sudden outburst, he was so expressive, often reacting without a second thought. You wished that you could be as carefree as he seemed.

"Are you sure?" "I don't want to ask something of you that you're not comfortable doing," you reply carefully. You don't want to offend him by questioning if he is capable to do the job.

"Of course, I work on my van and my uncle's car all the time," he says proudly. He points a finger to his chest and continues "I might not look it but I'm pretty handy with repairs.

"Well, in that case, I would be much obliged if you did fix them," you implore batting your lashes theatrically.

"Anything for you sweetness," he responds. "Do you have the parts," he asks.

No, I don't even know what type of part to get," you admit. "I was hoping that the mechanic would already have what I needed."

"That's okay, I can help with that too," he grins. "So, when do you want to go to pick up the part?"

"Anytime you're ready, also could we use your van to pick it up?" "My dad is supposed to be dropping off my car sometime later today," you say, rambling a bit.

"Well, I guess I'll go and get ready now," he says standing up.

You stand up as well and start walking with him towards the door. You step out onto the porch and bask in the sunlight for a moment tilting your head towards the sun, smiling. Just as quickly, you turn back to Eddie to find him facing you with a brow raised.

"Just recharging my batteries," you quip.

"Okay, so you're going through photosynthesis then, got it." "How often should I water you?" he deadpans.

Ewe! Eddie that's so gross," you titter giving him a light shove.

"Hey, I meant water," he argues laughing. He stops suddenly and wiggles his brows at you "what did you think I meant?" he questions.

You gasp, lowering your head to let your hair cover your flushed smiling face. "N-nothing, I d-don't know what I meant," you stammer. Pushing him off the porch you squeak out "Okay, bye! See ya later!"

He hops down your steps grinning mischievously. "See ya later neighbor," he sings skipping down the trail to his house.

You groan as you go into your home shutting your door. I wonder how many times can one embarrass themselves in one day you think as you go to get dressed.

You wait about an hour, giving Eddie time to get ready before leaving your home to meet him. As you're locking up the trailer you hear someone clearing their throat loudly.

Turning to your side you see Mrs. Brenda sitting in her rocking chair. "Hi hon, how are you today?" she asks.

You walk towards the steps of her porch and lean against the railing. "I'm doing fine, I had a rough day yesterday but I'm doing much better," you say.

"Oh no, I'm glad that you're feeling better," Is everything going to be okay?" she says worriedly.

You start to recount everything that happened yesterday, feeling comfortable doing so since she pretty much knows the history between you and your husband. With her being right next door, she's heard a lot of the fights and arguments between the two of you.

She listens patiently waiting for you to finish. "I'm sorry, that happened to you honey," she says taking your hand in hers.

"That man, and I use that word loosely, needs to be put down like the rabid dog that he is," she says venomously.

Your eyes widen, you've never heard her speak ill towards anyone before. "Mrs. Brenda!" you say amazed.

"It's true, and if I catch him around here, ill pop a cap in his ass," she says matter of factly.

You laugh deeply, holding your sides. "I thank you but I can't let you do that," you pause trying to contain the giggles. "We'll just leave it to the authorities okay?"

"Um hmm," she says as she starts rocking her chair again.

You sigh exasperatedly, "Mrs. Brenda, I'm serious I—," you're cut off abruptly by the sound of tires rolling over gravel.

Eddie pulls up in his van, rolling down his window. "Hey gorgeous," he yells out while leaning out the window and waving.

Your eyes furrow in confusion, and you lift your hand waving back shyly.

Before you can respond Mrs. Brenda speaks "Hello, hot shot," she says swooning like a teenage girl.

He looks at you with a smug smile, "Hey, you ready to go?"

You mumble goodbye to your neighbor and sulk over to the van. Eddie leans over and opens the door before you can reach it. Hauling yourself into the van, you settled down in your seat and fastened your seatbelt.

Eddie looks at you with an arrogant grin "Hey gorgeous."

"Shut up and drive," you say staring pointedly at the road with a heated flush across your face.

After you and Eddie return from your trip to the auto store. You find that your father had returned your car while you were gone. Your heart warms at how he handled everything for you, so you didn't have to. You make a mental note to thank him as soon as possible.

Eddie drops you off in front of your house and drives off to go park. You look in the flower pot by your steps and find your car keys. You had told your dad where he could leave the keys just in case you were gone.

Eddie comes around the corner with his toolbox and a jack stand. He has his hair up in a bun with tendrils of hair hanging freely. "Wow, you really are a handyman huh," you exclaim, peering at all the tools peeking out of the box.

His face and the tips of his ears turn red at your acknowledgment. He smiles in response and quickly gets to work. It's still early out and the sun is high in the sky. You sit on the porch watching for a while before heading inside your trailer.

You go to the kitchen to make sandwiches and fix some lemonade. You're done in no time and go back out with the food and drinks. As you sit everything down on the small table outside, you notice Eddie sitting on the ground with his back to you.

He's close by the wheel which is suspended in the air by the jack. Due to the humid weather, he has forgone his shirt for comfort.

Your mouth goes dry as you openly stare at his back, feeling safe to do so since his attention is focused elsewhere. His skin is pale and smooth with beauty marks dotted here and there. He's lean but still has a naturally toned build.

You watch as the muscles in his back swell and rise, straining as he exerts pressure on the task at hand. Finally, he gets the worrisome part on. You quickly avert your gaze to pick up the food and drink.

"Lunch break?" you ask with a smile.

"He turns to you smiling fondly "sure," he says setting down his tool. Dusting off his hands on his faded ripped jeans, he picks up his shirt and wipes the sweat from his brow.

You hand him the plate of sandwiches and the cup of lemonade as he sits beside you on the steps. You're silent, lost in your thoughts, as Eddie devours the food you prepared.

"Thank you," he says getting up and setting the plate down in his place.

"Is there a lot left to do?" you wonder as he goes back to his task at hand.

"Not really, I took off the old brake pad and caliper. I'm almost done putting on the new one," he says.

"Oh," you say, not really understanding.

He laughs a little as he puts another one of the parts you bought from the store. "I'll be done in about thirty minutes."

You hum in response, getting up and picking up the plates along the way. After washing the dishes you call your mom to check up on your son. He tells you about all of the fun he's having and you listen with a smile on your face. After a while, you say your goodbyes, telling him you love him before hanging up the phone.

As you walk back outside you see that your truck has been lowered and Eddie is putting his tools back in his box. He looks at you over his shoulder and hands you the keys.

"Alright, time to test those bad boys out," he says.

After you drive around the park at 10 miles per hour, tapping on the brakes. You can finally drive your car safely without Fred Flinstoning the brake pedal.

Once you've parked your truck, you are once again in front of your steps with Eddie beside you. You turn to him with a grateful smile on your face.

"Eddie, I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate everything you've done for me," you choke on your words a bit, as you start to feel a little emotional.

He stands there smiling, patiently waiting for you to finish.

Tears well up in your eyes as you look up at him, smiling softly. "Even though we haven't been for long, you are a great friend and I'm thankful for you."

He stiffens slightly at your admission but you are too busy wrapping your arms around him to notice. He hugs you tightly to him and you lay your head on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. He lays his head on top of yours, rubbing his hands along your back for comfort.

You stay there a moment basking in his embrace. His scent is strong but not overbearing, the smell of his cologne, cigarettes, and off-brand laundry detergent creates a perfect blend of fragrances.

You're the first to pull away with a smile. "Thanks again Eddie, for everything," you whisper.

"Anytime sweetheart, what are friends for?" he smiles back at you warmly.

Your stomach turns at his response but you choose to ignore it. You tell him goodbye and promise to make plans for the movie night soon.

His words echo in your head over and over 'what are friends for?' Sleep doesn't come easy for you that night.

Next Chapter

179 notes · View notes

penmansparadise · 2 years

Text

Eddie Munson ~ My Guardian Angel

*I DON'T OWN THIS GIF* *CREDIT TO GIF OWNER*

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Language and mentions of verbal and physical abuse

a/n: This was requested from my Wattpad. So, I will say that if you are a Steve lover, you may want to just brush by this imagine lol. He is definitely not painted in a good light in this one. But on a more serious note, this imagine does mention verbal and physical abuse. I may not know firsthand what it feels like to deal with this, but I have seen how abuse affects people. I saw it with several people I care deeply about and want everyone to know that no one deserves to feel like that. No one deserves to go through that. Whether it be child or abuse from a significant other, no one should have to deal with that. So, if you are dealing with abuse, please know that you are not alone, and you can get help. There are people out there and resources that can and will help you. So, please, please, please go get help. If you know someone who is dealing with abuse, you take the step for them and find them help. Do your part and make sure they know they are never ever alone. I am always available to talk if you need someone who isn't so close to the situation. Thank you all for all the support. I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this one. My next post will be a Billy Hargrove imagine with a Munson!Reader. So, be ready for that!

The quiet hum of your air conditioner filled the room. You stood shirtless in front of your mirror, staring at the blue and purple marks littering your skin. Your fingers lightly outlined each spot, remembering each instance when Steve’s hands found themselves on you in a less than affectionate manner. You touched the most recent mark and winced a little at the sharp pain from the little pressure your fingers provided. Your eyes crawled over your beaten and battered body for another moment before sighing and pulling your shirt over your head, forgetting again about the pain your boyfriend was causing you.

You moved around your room, finishing getting ready for your night. Eddie would be there any minute with movies to watch, and you didn’t want to keep him waiting. The two of you had been doing this since you were kids. It was like a ritual at this point. Every Friday night, Eddie would go to your house after renting an ungodly number of movies, and the two of you would run through them while eating way too much junk food. When you were younger, those evenings you spent with Eddie were just a fun little thing. But now, it was the only time you actually felt peace in your life.

It wasn’t always like this. At first, Steve wasn’t even on your radar. Growing up with Eddie meant that, even though you did your best to avoid it, you inevitably developed feelings for the boy. He was your best friend, and you spent almost all your time together. It was kind of hard to not catch feelings. But, after years of secretly falling head over heels for your best friend, you came to the conclusion that he didn’t feel the same way. He never made a move and, in your mind, never let on that he reciprocated your sentiments. So, you suppressed everything you felt for Eddie and reluctantly moved on. And the person whose arms you fell into was none other than Steve Harrington.

In the beginning, Steve was soft, sweet, good, and kind. He took care of you and made you laugh. Even before you two started dating, you always liked him. Being friends with Nancy meant that, while they were dating, you spent a lot of time with her and Steve. You knew he was a genuine guy. He was someone that everyone liked and never had a bad word for. You liked him. But when you told Eddie, he more than despised the idea of you with Steve. He scoffed at you and said, “No one is that good of a guy, Y/N.” You just ignored him, brushing his comment off, thinking he was just jealous he had to share his best friend with another person. At first, your feelings for Steve were platonic, but when Nancy broke up with him, you two got closer. Slowly but surely, your platonic feelings morphed into something more romantic. You could tell that Steve liked you too, and after months of prancing around the subject, Steve finally broke down and asked you to be his girlfriend, and you obviously accepted.

You were happy. Steve was a good guy. He would protect you and keep you safe. At least that’s how it was for the first couple of months. Then something changed. It was subtle. He started yelling instead of raising his voice. Then that turned to him insulting you when he was upset. He would put you down and scream so loud that sometimes you felt your bones rattle. Somehow, he always seemed to twist the situation to make you feel like the reason why he was acting that way was because of something you did. But he always apologized. So, you stayed. But then he started putting his hands on you.

The first time it happened was in his car. You reached into his center console, and he smacked your hand. He made it seem like it was a playful tap, and you believed him. Couples do that all the time. They playfully shoved one another or slapped each other lightly on the arm. But that’s not what Steve started doing. Maybe in public, he made it seem that way, but behind closed doors, he was more aggressive. He started pushing you so hard that you would fall over or run into things. Then, he started forcefully grabbing you until his fingerprints were ingrained in your skin. One after another, bruises started showing up on your body. Steve never left a mark where someone would see, though. He knew where to lay his hands, so the only person who knew about your constant turmoil was you. Every time you dressed or showered, you were reminded of the monster your boyfriend had become. But you were too deep into the relationship, and you were scared of what Steve would do if you tried to leave. So, you stayed.

You were just about done getting into your comfy clothes when your doorbell rang. Your heart jumped in your chest, and a smile pulled at your lips. Finally, your little piece of heaven had arrived. You jogged to the front door, swung it open, and your smile dropped. It wasn’t Eddie. Your breathing started to waver as you stared at Steve standing on your porch. He didn’t look happy. But he never did, always sporting a permanent scowl. He raised an eyebrow at you and shook his head.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, the question coming out much weaker than you hoped.

Steve rolled his eyes and shoved you to the side to walk inside.

“What? All of a sudden, I can’t surprise my girlfriend?”

You watched as he walked into your living room and plopped onto your couch. You carefully shut the door and approached him. He was plucking at the pilling fabric on your sofa, not even paying attention to you.

“Steve,” you began, “I-I have plans.”

“Cancel ‘em.”

You felt like you were going to pass out with the way your throat was clenching.

“I can’t.”

His fingers stopped messing with the fabric, finally acknowledging that you were standing in front of him.

“Who could you possibly have plans with? You have no friends, Y/N.”

You knew that when you told him who you would be seeing tonight, he would explode. But you couldn’t lie. He would see right through you. You wrang your hands together in an attempt to hide the way they were trembling.

“I do have friends, Steve. And my plans are with Eddie.”

You could see the way his eyes darkened at Eddie’s name.

“I thought I told you to stop seeing him,” Steve said through gritted teeth.

“He’s, my friend. We always get together on Fridays.”

Steve stood from his spot on the couch, and you instinctively took two steps back. You knew this stance all too well. His shoulders were back, and his fists clenched at his sides. You knew what would come next. Steve started closing the gap between the two of you, and you continued to step away, trying to maintain the distance.

“So,” Steve said, his voice much louder than before, “you’ve been seeing him behind my back?”

You couldn’t say anything. Your mind was reeling as your eyes wandered around the room, trying to find a place to run. There was no way out. The front door was too far, and there was no way you were going to be able to get around him anyway. But Steve took your silence as an affirmation that you were keeping secrets from him.

“I thought we told each other everything, babe. So why didn’t you tell me about your nights with Eddie? Hm? Is it because you’re doing stuff you shouldn’t be?”

There was nowhere else for you to go. Steve had reached you, and he grabbed your arm. You let out a little whine and cowered just slightly at his threatening grasp.

“No, Steve, I promise all we do is watch movies.”

“Are you cheating on me?” He shouted, causing you to shut your eyes and turn your face away from him. Tears were burning behind your eyelids as his grip tightened around your arm, and his voice got even louder.

“Huh? Whoring yourself around? Thinking I wouldn’t find out?”

The tears you were trying to hide were falling freely down your cheeks now, and you were shaking.

“I would never cheat on you. Please, you’re hurting me.”

“Shut up, bitch!”

Steve’s other hand came flying up and connected with your cheek in a harsh slap. You collapsed and let out a shriek of pain. The sharp stinging of his hand sizzled on your cheek. You didn’t fall completely to the floor, as Steve’s other hand never let go of your arm. He yanked you back onto your feet, holding you up with his tight grip, and pulled you so close you could feel his breath fanning over your face.

“This is what happens when you don’t listen to me, you stupid fucking slut.”

His other hand grabbed your other arm, and you shut your eyes. You knew what came next. You would either go slamming into a wall or a piece of furniture. This was not the first time you were in this position. You tried to relax as best as you could to avoid breaking anything when your front door flew open. Your eyes shot open, and through your blurry vision, you could see Eddie walking inside. He was sifting through the several VHS tapes in his hands. He wasn’t paying attention and hadn’t seen the horror show happening in your living room.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” he said, laughing a little, “Family Video was slammed. But I brought your favorite, A Nightmare on -” He stopped short when he finally lifted his eyes and saw Steve’s hands on you and your sobbing figure.

“What the hell is going on here?”

Your body shook with each sob, and you could feel your face swelling from where Steve slapped you. Steve’s hands tightened around your arms, and you whimpered a little.

“It’s none of your goddamn business, freak,” Steve said, spitting the last word.

Eddie’s eyes looked from you to Steve and back. You looked at Steve, whose stare was relentless. He wanted you to tell Eddie to leave. He wanted you to get him to go so he could finish what he was doing. But you couldn’t do that. You turned and looked at Eddie, and you could see him trying to analyze the situation. When his eyes met yours again, you broke. Another sob fell from your lips.

“Eddie,” you said, his name coming out more like a plea than a statement. But that was all it took. Eddie dropped the tapes on the nearest side table, and his spine stiffened.

“Let go of her,” he said.

Steve let out something that sounded like a growl as he dipped his head.

“You need to leave. This has nothing to do with you.”

“I don’t really give a shit,” Eddie said, taking a step forward, “I said let go of her.”

Steve groaned before shoving you to the side and turning to face Eddie. Your stomach was in knots as you watched Steve step up to Eddie. You couldn’t help but think the worst. Eddie wasn’t a fighter. He didn’t do well with conflict and always ran in the opposite direction if he was ever put into a potentially dangerous situation. But not Steve. He knew how to use his hands to cause damage. You, of all people, knew that. But as you stood frozen in place, Eddie didn’t run. Instead, he shrugged and nodded at Steve.

“What’s the play, big boy?”

“Well,” Steve said, voice sounding like a thunderstorm, “I’m gonna kick your ass and then take care of my girlfriend.”

Fear was a wild thing inside of you. It was like you forgot how to move your feet. Tears just streamed down your face as you waited for Steve to throw the first punch. He was moving toward Eddie on a mission. Eddie’s eyes widened, and he looked at you quickly before setting his stare on Steve. Steve was so close to Eddie, and your hands covered your mouth, muffling the scream that was clawing its way out of you. You knew it was coming. Eddie would hit the floor unconscious, and you would be next. But when Steve got close enough, Eddie didn’t wait for him to throw the first punch. Instead, he reared back and punched Steve straight in the face. Steve stumbled back with a shout, and Eddie shook his hand out.

“You son of a bitch!” Steve shouted, then lunged at Eddie, tackling him to the floor.

You watched in horror as the two boys grappled on your living room floor. One minute Steve was dominating the fight, and then Eddie would take over. It went on like that for what felt like hours until Steve ended up on top again. Steve had blood smeared across his face. He smiled down at Eddie, and he looked malevolent. Eddie was breathing heavily, and his arms lay at his sides. He was defeated.

“Are you done?” Steve asked.

Eddie shut his eyes for a second, and you thought he had fainted. But then they shot open again, and, like lightning striking the ground, his fist came flying up, making contact with Steve’s nose. Steve veered back and fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. Eddie stood up and wiped his face with the sleeve of his jacket. He moved to tower over Steve’s groaning body and nudged him with his foot. Steve rolled over to look Eddie in the eye, who pointed down at him.

“I will never let you put your hands on her again, you fucking psychopath.”

Your whole body was trembling, but you finally found the strength to walk over to the two boys. When you reached Eddie’s side, his arm immediately slid around your waist as if he had been doing that his whole life. It was natural and felt right. You leaned into his side and took a deep breath before looking down at Steve’s bloody face.

“You need to go, Steve.”

His eyes widened, and he let out a dry laugh.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Your heart was like a racehorse in your chest. You knew what you wanted to say, but you were so scared. You’ve been scared for almost a year now. Eddie must have picked up on your inner turmoil because he gave your hip a light squeeze. And with that small gesture, you were grounded. You felt safe.

“I’m,” you swallowed down your fear, “I’m breaking up with you.”

The words fell out so fast you weren’t sure he understood you, but it felt good.

“We’re done. So, you need to leave.”

For a moment, Steve just stared at you from the floor, but then he pushed to his feet and, like before, you tried to step away, but Eddie’s arm kept you in place. He moved his body just slightly in front of yours, standing eye to eye with Steve.

“She said it’s over. Leave.”

The two of them stayed like that for a minute before Steve finally scoffed and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. And as soon as he was gone, you fell to the floor, all of the adrenaline and strength you had completely gone. Tears you didn’t know you still had fell down your cheeks, and you were shaking uncontrollably. Eddie dropped next to you and pulled you onto his lap. His hand rubbed up and down your back as he shushed you.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe now. I won’t let anything happen to you again.”

You stayed in his arms, crying, for minutes before you finally calmed down. Even after the worst of your breakdown past, you didn’t move, and neither did Eddie. Your sniffles here and there and the sound of Eddie’s calloused fingers rubbing against the soft fabric of your shirt were all that could be heard until Eddie sighed.

“How long?”

You knew this question was bound to come up eventually, but you didn’t want to tell him. Once Eddie knew that Steve had been hurting you for almost a year, he was going to break. But you couldn’t keep it to yourself anymore, so you nuzzled deeper into him and said, “It started a couple months into our relationship.”

You could feel Eddie tense underneath you. His hand stopped moving for a split second, and when it started up again, it was a rigid movement. You were waiting for him to say, “I told you so,” but he never did. And that was part of the reason you loved him. It didn’t matter that he was right about Steve. He would never exploit your emotions to push his narrative. His rubbing hand grew more fluid again as he relaxed a little.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid of him, Eddie.” Your throat started burning as tears began to bubble up again. You had never admitted that aloud to anyone. Not even yourself. But it was true. You were petrified of what Steve would do to you had you said something to someone. You cleared your throat.

“And I was embarrassed.”

Eddie leaned back, holding you at arm’s length so he could look at your face. He let one hand caress your swollen cheek, and his eyes softened.

“You never have to hide anything from me, Y/N.”

You just nodded before tears started to roll down your cheeks again. Eddie watched you break down for what felt like the millionth time and shook his head.

“This whole situation could’ve been avoided.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked through your hyperventilating.

Eddie ran his hand over his face, then looked at you again.

“If I had just made my move sooner, you would be with me and never would have had to deal with this.”

It took you a minute to realize what he said. He had feelings for you. He wanted to be with you. Your mouth opened and closed several times before you finally asked, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Eddie shrugged.

“I was afraid to lose you. You’re all I have, Y/N.”

With that little statement, Eddie had managed to start piecing together your shattered heart. He brushed the back of his forefinger over your cheek to wipe away a stray tear.

“You’re the only person I can count on, the one who will always have my back, my best friend, and the girl I’ve been in love with since I met her.”

His hand fully cupped your face.

“It’s you. It’s always been you.”

You moved your hand to cover his and leaned into his touch.

“Steve was never my first choice.”

A small smirk played on Eddie’s lips as he quirked up one of his brows.

“Who was then?”

“You, Eddie,” you said before leaning forward and pressing your lips to his.

It was like a million fireworks were exploding in your chest. His lips moved against yours like they were meant to be there. You never wanted to forget the way they felt against you. Eddie’s hand slid to the back of your head while his other arm snaked around your waist, pulling you just a little closer. He was so careful with you, afraid that if he moved too quickly, you would shatter. You pressed your body against him, letting the kiss wash over you in waves. And you went on like that for minutes until you pulled back, out of breath. A goofy smile overtook Eddie’s face.

“I’ve been waiting for that for a long time.”

You dropped your head and let out a little chuckle. But when you looked back at Eddie, there was a little bit of tension in his stare. He tilted his head to the side.

“Dare I say what I’m really feeling?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips.

“Hm, and what is that, Eddie the Banished?”

He leaned his forehead onto yours and whispered, “I love you.”

This time a wild grin spread across your lips, and butterflies erupted in your stomach. You could feel your face grow hot at those three words, and you bit your bottom lip before saying, “I love you too.”

Eddie pulled you back in until your lips connected once more in a sweet kiss. When Eddie broke the kiss, he stood up and offered you his hand.

“Now,” he said, “I have all night to make you feel better, starting with some super cheesy slasher film. What do you say?”

You took his hand and stood in front of him.

“I can’t imagine anything else I’d rather do.”

And with that, Eddie led you to your sofa, where the two of you spent the rest of the evening cuddled up next to one another.

Tag List: @violetrainbow412-blog @tellmehows @pastel-abyss-x

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #stranger things #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fandom

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cheribl0ssom · 11 months

Text

Oliver Aiku x Fem!Reader: Common Courtesy

Word Count: 4.3k~

C/W: fem reader, alcohol use, mentions of smoking, enemies to lovers trope, established friendships

A/N: a little self indulgent mostly fluffy piece, i've never written something so long before but this idea awakened something in me. I hope you like it!

thank you @heavenlyakin for beta reading <3

The last place you wanted to spend your night was out at the club, but you decided to give it a chance since you were being asked to go by your best friend Meguru Bachira. You two were basically inseparable despite the fact that you had such differing lifestyles.

You were the kind of person that preferred to stay at home, in the peace and quiet, lounging around doing whatever you felt like without a care in the world. He liked the nightlife, the never ending fun of the city and he wanted to share that experience with you.

“Come ooooon,” Bachira teased, sticking his tongue out at you. “You never know what might happen when you put yourself out there.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you hummed, rubbing the back of your head “I guess just one time won’t hurt. But seriously only this time!” Bachira giggled at your response while sifting through your closet, determined to choose the perfect clubbing outfit for you. The instant a black, tight mini dress caught his eye, he swiped it off a hanger and handed it to you and then motioned for you to start getting ready.

It only took a couple of hours for you both to get ready, especially since you kept getting distracted trying to convince yourself that this wasn’t the worst idea you’ve agreed to before. Once Bachira had finished getting ready he spent his time reassuring you, making sure you were genuinely comfortable with going out. He also made sure you both had a couple drinks in your system so you could start a steady buzz before you left the house.

“You look gorgeous as ever!” Bachira encouraged you as you did a 360 spin in front of him, showing off your final look. Your best friend’s hype had you feeling on top of the world at this moment, forgetting the anxiety from before.

“Let’s get this show on the road!” You cheered, as your cheeks heated up from the alcohol and excitement growing in you.

—

As you pulled up to the venue, your anxiety was making its comeback, the weight of the unknown started to sink in. The music was so loud you could hear it from the outside. Everywhere you looked there were bright, flashing lights. It was dazzling. Even though Bachira told you what to expect, you were still taken back by the shock of seeing it all for yourself. As you shuffled out of the Uber, you tipsily and nervously grabbed onto Bachira’s arm causing him to look back and smile at you.

“Reeeelax,” He chirped, “Everything is going to be great.”

The line to get in the club wasn’t too long with the security check being skimpy at best. The dance floor was just the right amount of people for things to feel natural and not overly claustrophobic. The hardest part of the night was over; you were at the point where you could enjoy yourself and let loose. It was clear Bachira was on the same page, as he went to put in a couple song requests with the DJ and grab drinks at the bar.

—

As the songs started to blend together, you weren’t sure how long it had been since you had arrived at the club. You and Bachira had been steadily ingesting drinks to stay drunk, dancing your asses off and enjoying the night way too much. You never wanted this to end despite your original skepticism.

You sipped up the last drops of your beverage and looked over to Bachira, whose glass was completely empty. Collecting his glass from his hand, you offered to get the next round of drinks. This was the perfect excuse to step away for a second and catch your breath; Bachira was in his element so you didn’t wanna pull him out of that.

Strolling up to the decently packed bar, an electronic clock with bright red numbers caught your eye. 11:30 p.m.. Not bad. It’s not too late yet, you thought to yourself. You had a little bit left in you before you’d be okay with calling it a night, so you focused on getting the alcohol that would give you that last burst of energy.

You politely shoved your way up to the counter, waving your hand hoping to catch the eye of one of the few bartenders behind the counter. One of the bartenders caught the signal and started to walk in your direction, but before you could get a word out you were hastily pushed aside by a black and green haired tall, muscular man.

“Blue Moon. Can I get an orange slice with that? Thanks.” The man shouted, making sure his voice took priority over the music blasting in the background.

“Guess waiting your turn for service doesn’t apply to some people,” you scoffed and rolled your eyes, trying to protect your spot at the counter.

“And I guess other people don’t know how to assert themselves effectively in social situations,” the man shot back with no hesitation, picking the fresh glass of beer that was placed before him. “Better luck next time.”

“Dick.” you muttered, turning away from him, “Excuse me! I’m trying to order some drinks here.” Your words were drowned out by the loud music blaring from the speakers overhead. The unfazed man smirked a little and shot you a wink before walking away.

What was all of that? You sighed to yourself. After another 15 minutes fighting for your life at the bar, you were finally able to get some drinks and head back to Bachira.

“Y/N! Took you long enough,” Bachira poked as he accepted the drink from your hand. “You doing alright?”

As much as you wanted to answer, this wasn’t the time or place and you didn’t want to be the vibe killer. You chugged your drink and forced the moment with the mystery man to the back of your mind.

One more drink. Then another, and another. Your aggravation faded away as you gave in to the powerful combination of alcohol and the music.

—

“Just how much did we drink last night?” you groaned, sipping on the coffee in front of you as you waited for your food to arrive. After placing your cup down, you leaned back in your chair trying to come to terms with how sluggish and awful you felt from going all out.

“Knowing that isn’t going to cure your hangover, so forget about it!” Bachira laughed, completely unbothered even though he was hungover too. “So are you going to tell me about what happened last night or are you going to keep changing the subject?”

Bachira always saw through your attempts to hide your feelings, but you knew he could tell you were still annoyed by something that took place when he wasn’t around.

“Ugh! Well like it’s not a big deal….” you trailed off, trying to downplay it. “This guy with black and green hair cut me off at the bar and he was just a total jerk!” You sighed angrily, feeling like you were reliving the scene just momentarily.

“I think I have seen a guy like that around there before, he’s a frequent face downtown. I can't say I’ve had any interactions with him though.” Bachira responded, pondering the information you gave him and eating the freshly cooked breakfast the waiter just brought over to your table.

“It… it’s fine I was drunk anyway and probably overreacting. Anyway, when were you planning to hit the clubs again?” The thought of having more nights like last one excited you, aside from the bar encounter.

“Wow, am I asleep? I’ve gotta still be dreaming if I’m hearing that question come out of your mouth.” Bachira was in total disbelief, but he pulled out his phone to view his availability.

—

Before you knew it, a month had passed since your interaction with black and green haired man. You continued to go to the clubs with Bachira here and there as it fit into the puzzle that was your own schedule. Every so often you saw the mystery man, but you went out of your way to avoid any sort of exchange with him.

“It’s your turn to go get refills,” Bachira exclaimed, passing his empty glass over to you. It had been about three hours since you arrived at the club, and you were downing drinks like no other again. You felt every drop of alcohol racing through your body.

When you got up to the bar, you pressured your way into the one available space and prepared to put in your order at the first opportunity. While the bartender began to make your drinks, you heard a quiet snicker from beside you. Before you could react, the bartender placed your beverages in front of you and sent you on your way.

As you walked back to the dance floor, you drunkenly glanced back and noticed the mystery man was the one next to you who had been attempting to create some sort of scene. Tears of embarrassment and anger welled up in your eyes. Seriously, what was up with that dude trying to start something with you a second time now?

“What’s wrong?” Bachira shouted over the music, gently taking his drink from your hand. In the time it took for you to get drinks and meet up again, Bachira had met someone and they were dancing on him; thankfully they were paying no mind to the conversation between you two.

“Ummm, I think I just need to go catch my breath…” you lied. “I’ll be back, promise!” Rather than try to formulate a coherent explanation, you faked a smile and blinked your tears back before heading to the outdoor seating. You were not going to get in the way of your best friend getting some; Bachira knew better than anyone you were distancing yourself from him so he could leave at his own leisure depending on how things go with his newfound interest. He also knew you could handle yourself enough to make it home safely and soundly. Your goal now was to get outside and sober up a bit so you could get home in one piece.

Stumbling outside, you noticed a vacant seat in the far corner of the patio and you decided to help yourself to it. You had your head in your hands as you tried to collect yourself; you had way too much to drink and everything you were feeling was intensifying more by the second. As you were starting to sober up, the smell of cigarette smoke entered your nose causing you to gag. You looked up with intent to scold whoever was polluting your oxygen, only to see the last person on earth you wanted to be around standing right next to you.

“Well if it isn’t Mr. Blue Moon with an Orange Slice.” you drunkenly jabbed through hiccups, revealing the suppressed aggravation that started to surface.

“Sorry, do I know you?” He responded looking down at you, a smirk growing on his face.

“No, I suppose… You actually don't.” You couldn’t help but angrily pout when you noticed he had the upperhand in this situation. Your previous commentary revealed that he had successfully gotten under your skin, leaving you more and more bothered after each encounter.

“Hmmm, you sure seemed certain before,” the man rubbed the back of his head while puffing on a cigarette. He crouched down in front of you, and pushed some stray hairs away from your face. “Don’t you think you’ve had a little bit too much to drink tonight?”

“What’s it to you?” You managed to ask, trying to feel out this mystery man’s intentions.

“Let’s go. Your usual companion is already gone and I am not going to let a drunk lady wander off on her own.” He stood back up and extended his hand out to you; you hesitantly accepted and got up. “Can you tell me where you live?”

Rather than order you an Uber and send you on your way, he decided to walk you home. It was only a twenty minute walk and the fresh air was definitely more comforting than being in the back of a stranger’s car.

–

Once you arrived at your door, you shakily unlocked it and stepped inside.

“You… can come in… if you want?” You offered as you were unsuccessfully trying to kick off your shoes. Having not sobered up all that much from your walk, even the simplest tasks were feeling like a chore. He walked into your apartment and closed the door behind him. He helped you over to your couch and sat you down.

“Give me your foot,” he demanded, taking one of your feet into your hand and taking your shoe off and repeating the action on the other one soon after.

“I- wanna…” you whined, “I’m… sleepy.” You leaned back on your couch and began to cave into your desire for sleep.

The man picked you up and walked through your apartment searching for a bed to put you in. Once he found your room he laid you on the bed and rustled through your dresser looking for some sort of night clothes to help your barely awake self change into.

The last thing you remembered was hearing your front door close.

–

You rolled out of bed, confused by how you made it there. What the hell is this shirt? You asked, looking at yourself in the mirror. The shirt was an oversized t-shirt you meant to return to Bachira some time back, but had forgotten about when you accidently shoved in it your dresser along with your usual laundry some time ago.

Oh well. All you really cared about right now was getting a bite to eat and cleaning yourself up from last night. Walking into the kitchen, a yellow piece of paper on the counter drew your attention. It was a post-it still attached to the notepad.

It read: “Make sure you drink some water. - Oli”

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you tried to recall the events of the night. It was all a blur in your mind and you couldn’t believe you let a stranger into your house, especially not the person who caused you so much irritation over the last month of your life.

Before you had time to start processing anything, the front door of your apartment flew open as Bachira let himself inside.

“Good morning~” he exclaimed, making his way over to where you stood, “How was your night? You never texted me to tell me you made it home safe so I wanted to come check in on you.”

Rather than wait for your response, he grabbed the note off the counter.

“Give that back!” you shouted, reaching hopelessly for the note Bachira was holding away from you.

“Oli…” he mumbled, “Now that I see that name it all makes sense. This is that black and green haired guy from downtown, no?” You nodded, still at a loss for words. Every moment back to your first interaction replayed through your mind.

“Can I have that back now?” You snatched the note back from your friend and lightly tossed it back on to the counter and tried to hide your ever growing embarrassment.

“What are you so worked up for? Did you guys do it?” Bachira’s tone changed from serious to joking, knowing he was getting you even more riled up.

“Excuse me?! No! Look… I have some things I need to take care of.” A lie that passed so easily from your lips whenever you were trying to avoid talking about things. Being your best friend, Bachira caught onto these things pretty easily, so he decided he wouldn’t press the matter any further.

“Fiiine, I’ll take my leave.” he sighed playfully and headed towards the door, waving before he shut the door behind himself.

Not soon after his departure, you decided to seek comfort in reading, which meant you needed to head to the bookstore to pick up something new to read.

There was no rush in your solo adventure today, so you took your time browsing the selections of the shelves at the bookstore. The genre of the book wasn’t too important to you at the moment; you just wanted something to get lost in. You wandered aimlessly, until you found yourself stumbling into the BookTok section. As you zoned back into reality, you noticed someone very engrossed in a book standing at the end of the aisle.

“O-Oli?” The feeling of his name rolling off your tongue was so foreign, you couldn’t help but stutter. Appearing equally caught off guard, Oliver slammed the book shut and shoved it haphazardly back onto the shelf.

“It’s not what you think,” he proclaimed sheepishly. “It’s for… a friend.” The usually level headed and calm man was all too frazzled, making it clear that he was embarrassed by the situation unfolding. The shift in the power dynamic you two usually had was all too thrilling to you.

“I would have never taken you for a BookTok reader. Is that your guilty pleasure,” you ruthlessly teased with a smirk on your face.

“Let’s just pretend this never happened and call it good. I mean we’re even now… I helped you out the other night, didn’t I?” He smiled back and rubbed the back of his head.

“I’ll make you a deal. I won’t tell anyone what I saw here on the condition that you treat me to some coffee and tell me everything that happened last night.” You nodded toward the coffee counter on the opposite side of the store.

Oliver took the lead and guided you over there, nonverbally accepting the deal.

“Order whatever you’d like and get me one of the same. I’ll grab us a table.” He offered and then handed you a twenty dollar bill.

The table he chose was one in the far corner of the establishment, providing you the privacy to openly discuss the details of last night.

“Spill.” The command coming from your mouth felt instinctive as you locked eyes with one another.

“I don’t know what you’re hoping to hear,” he sighed, stirring the caffeinated beverage with the straw. “You had way too much to drink. Your friend had already left and I wanted to make sure you got home safe. I walked you back to your apartment, helped you change into sleeping clothes, and left once you started to fall asleep.”

As much as you wanted to believe him, you really had no reason to. “You must ‘help’ a lot of drunk girls get home.” It was a cheap shot, but you weren’t scared to stoop low after his behaviors toward you in the past. Even if he may not recall those times, they still bothered you so you felt this was all fair game.

“Believe it or not, you’re the first.” He responded, not breaking eye contact with you for even a second. His demeanor right now was unlike any other time you’d crossed paths. “I benefit nothing from lying to you, the same as I benefitted nothing from helping your drunken ass home. I did it because I wanted to.”

You shrunk into your chair a bit, coming to terms with the reality of the situation. He was right, without a doubt and the least you could do was be appreciative. Awaiting your response, he sat back with his arms crossed and cocked his eyebrow at you.

“I jumped the gun. That was my bad.” you grinned apologetically while twirling a strand of hair around your index finger. “If what you’re saying is true, then I’d like to thank you. Are you free tomorrow night?”

–

Your entire day was spent preparing for the date you had tonight, if you could even call it that. He had agreed to your offer for dinner; you simply took it upon yourself to invite him over to your place and cook for him rather than go out in public. Despite your questioning, all Oliver mentioned liking food wise was salmon, and he wouldn’t elaborate more about that.

Grilled salmon was always a safe bet and pairing it with some rice and fresh vegetables sounded like a classic meal anyone could enjoy. You also made it a point to grab his favorite beer with an orange for him to garnish it with.

As the rice was finishing up, you ran to your vanity to apply any last minute touches necessary to your hair and makeup. You wanted to look like your best self, but also not like you tried overly hard so you went for a more casual makeup look. Staying on that idea, you kept your outfit cute, but simple too: a sundress with a floral pattern. Once you were ready you did one last 360 in your mirror before heading to the kitchen to plate the meal for two.

The ring of the door almost caught you off guard as you put the last scoop of rice onto the plate in front of you. You took a deep breath before heading over to the door to welcome Oliver inside.

“Hello Oli,” you hummed, closing the door behind him as he entered. His timing was perfect.. “Take a seat, whichever you’d prefer.” You strolled over to the counter and grabbed the two plates you had just prepared, putting them in either spot. Then you circled back to grab a White Claw for yourself and his usual.

“Well isn’t this just something?” He chuckled, sipping from the drink you handed him. “I didn’t expect you to remember details like this.”

You half smiled, recalling the irritation your initial encounters with him brought you. “Well, you definitely left an impression on me. What can I say? Tell me about yourself.” You were quick to change the subject, not leaving any room for an awkward silence to occur.

After a few minutes, the conversation seemed to flow effortlessly as you both exchanged facts and information about yourself. It was a flow of give and take, where either of you knew when it was your turn to talk or to listen.

Time began to pass by quickly with you both eager to learn about one another, but your mind still wandered back to the elephant in the room. You finally found your opportunity when he told you about his career as a professional soccer player. This newfound fact made you even more curious about him.

“What business does a professional soccer player have downtown every weekend?” You poked cheekily, as you both finished up your plates.

A slight tinge of blush shaded Oliver’s cheeks and you weren’t sure whether it was the alcohol affecting him or embarrassment. “It’s actually the way I like to blow off steam when I’m not on the field.”

“I guess I’ll accept that answer,” the sarcastic response practically rolled off your tongue. “How about this then: tell me why you’re so different in the club compared to right now?”

You simultaneously finished your beverages with one giant gulp; the liquid courage from your beverages fueled you both in this moment.

“L-look,” he smiled almost bashfully. “People like me have a certain reputation we have to maintain in public settings. It was never anything personal though.” His tone and body language expressed sincerity, so you didn’t question it further.

As a mix of shyness and drunkenness started to overcome you, you instinctively looked to the floor to avoid eye contact. ”Oh okay…” You battled the silence trying to put together a response until you felt his rough thumb against your cheek.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. We’re here now, so let’s just enjoy what’s in front of us now.”

–

After that night, Oliver made it a point to see you a couple times a week. Each time was different from the last and all were equally fun. With each date, the connection between you two grew naturally and eventually you almost entirely forgot about the flunk encounters of the past. He more than made it up to you with the sweetness and tenderness he treated you with now. It felt effortless on your part to return all the affection even more so, as you fell deeply for him.

The weeks of memories made with Oliver played through your mind as you both laid together in your bed after a hot shower together. You had just returned back to your place after a night together at the clubs; it was the first time you had both gone since you had met and also the first debut together. Everything felt like it was coming full circle.

As you cuddled up in the sheets with Oliver, you were certain there was no place else you’d rather be. The way he was holding you reassured you the feeling was mutual. The light from the moon illuminated the room through the cracks of your blinds, giving just enough light for you to enjoy the features of Oliver’s sleepy face. A small smile crept onto your face as you felt your lover’s hands tracing gently up your spine.

“Yes, my love?” you questioned; he had a look on his face that seemed like he had something to say. He chuckled a little before taking your hand in his free hand and kissing it gently. This was a side of him that only you knew and you cherished it.

He pulled you in closer than you thought possible and leaned in, pressing his lips against yours in an expression of affection. Instinctively, you kissed him back and pulled his bottom lip between your teeth as the kiss ended. As the tension heightened, he leaned back just enough to lock eyes with you.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” he breathed, gazing lovingly at you - the look on his face so genuine, you’d remember it for the rest of your life.

#oliver aiku #oliver aiku x reader #bllk x you #bllk fanfic #bllk #blue lock #blue lock fanfic #blue lock x you #bllk aiku

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natashxromanovf · 2 years

Note

for the sweater weather sleepover how about nina or jesper from shadow and bone and like idk in the night where the reader is just in the balcony enjoying the night breeze and what not and then nina/jesper enters and they both have the most comfortable silence or deep conversations and the reader is so whipped they accidentally confess

The shining dots in the sky

jesper fahey x gn!reader

wc: 584

warnings: i don't think there are any, not proofread

a/n: stop i feel like this sucks so bad 😭😭 i'm sorry but it's late and I don't even know what I'm writing anymore haha. anyway thank you for the request love <33

Without a word, Jesper smoothly takes his place beside you, staring off in the same direction as you. It's not uncommon for the two of you to simply come to the balcony and then stare down onto the streets of Ketterdam. Sometimes you talk, sometimes you don't - it's kind of your thing, a moment of peace both of you deserve from time to time.

This is one of the more quiet evenings when all you do is enjoy each other's presence and take slow, deep breaths after a long day. There is an occasional word cutting through the silence, but other than that there's mostly quiet, hearing only the sounds of the life going on underneath you.

You like these moments more than anything. There's something so calming in Jesper's presence, something you can't explain. These are some of the rare times he's actually standing still and not endlessly moving around. You guessed that's the reason for this effect he has on you.

"Do you ever just think about how lucky we are, to be able to see this beauty we call stars? All the patterns, all the shining little dots in the sky, they're all so so beautiful," you mutter, making Jesper look at you.

"No, I've never actually thought about it," he truthfully says, letting his eyes wander around the night sky. "It's just that with everything going on in our everyday lives, I never think about these deep psychological things. I guess that's why I love these evenings we share so much," he smiles which makes you smile.

"Yeah, I guess that's why," you whisper to yourself, knowing this isn't the only reason you love this time spent with him. Of course, there's a bit of truth in there too but you've recently realised that it's not only his stillness that has that effect on you, but it's his mere presence. His proximity, his voice, his face - it's all mixed into one wholesome feeling - love.

It's been clear to you for a while now, you've just tried to ignore it which is not as simple as it sounds. There are days when you can't just hold it in, when you can't just cover it up and this is one of them.

"You know how you said that you don't have time to think about those things because of our everyday lives? Well, I've been thinking about that, about all the risky stuff we do on daily basis. Life is short, especially when you're in the business we're in. And I don't know if you feel the same, but I can't go another minute without knowing I told you how I fell. So I'm just going to come out with it - I like you, Jesper Fahey. Like, a lot. And I've thought about it, tried only being your friend but I can't. Not without knowing you don't feel the same," you finish, now fully facing him. He just smirks, taking your hand in his.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I do feel the same, Y/N Y/L/N," he replies, causing a big smile to appear on your face.

"I'm glad," you whisper before starting to inch closer to him, looking for any sign of rejection. When you don't see any, you finally gather the courage to close the distance between your lips. The kiss was sweet and passionate all at the same time and if anyone asks you, it was the perfect first kiss two people could share.

i hope you enjoyed this! don’t forget to like, reblog and/or comment, it really helps writers with motivation <33

taglist form

#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x you #jesper fahey drabble #jesper fahey fic #jesper fahey fluff #jesper fahey blurb #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows x reader #shadow and bone #six of crows #shadow and bone fluff #six of crows fluff #taja’s sweater weather sleepover #taja’s requested fics

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pvri-more · 2 years

Text

The Ghost of You (One Shot)

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader.

Warnings: Mentions of drugging, grief, overall very emotional and dark theme.

Word Count: 3,398

Summary: Instead of destroying the darkhold, Wanda is captured by S.H.I.E.L.D and taken to the Raft prison where she undergoes a series of mental and physical torture. Under the influence of sedatives, she starts developing hallucinations that become so blurred in reality that she can no longer tell what’s real and what’s fake. So when you, her girlfriend who is presumed dead, appears inside her cell, causes Wanda to have a difficult time deciphering whether you are really there. Are you real or just another figment of her lonely imagination?

A/N: I can’t believe it took me just about a year to finally finish a piece of work! But here we are! I hope you like it, I hope it’s good & I hope you like them to pull at your heart strings hehe. And if you’d like some songs to go along with this just like I did with my fic, listen to the two songs that inspired this one shot: “Hallucinate” by The Devil Wears Prada and “Fever Dream” by Hurtwave! xx

————

The darkhold had infected Wanda’s body like an incurable virus. It flowed through her veins so cunningly, so quietly. As if it were sentient. It lurked in the corners of her bones, waiting for her to become too exhausted to fight it off. Until it enveloped her completely, until she wanted it ... until she wanted it to kill her.

So in the throes of her infection, Wanda reigned terror across anyone & anything that dared to get in her way. Her endless pits of depression remolded into tall mountains of rage. Her eyes were glazed over with evil’s cloak, her mind infected with it’s seductive spell and her veins intoxicated with the addictive elixir only wickedness could sell.

Eventually, there was no more Wanda. Only the vengeful Scarlet Witch.

If she couldn’t be happy, nobody could. And as her malevolence grew, so did her body count. She snapped superheroes in half like they were pencils, manipulated minds and distorted reality in any way that would satisfy and took innocent lives in the process.

It went on and on, until a moment of humanity breached through Wanda’s sick and poisoned mind. A moment where she finally got a glimpse of what she’d done, of the ones she’s lost and what they’d think of her now. Her vulnerable state was only a flash but it was long enough for S.H.E.I.L.D to finally reach her, after struggling for some time now, and take her into captivity.

The last thing she remembered was a pinch in her neck & the world going dark.

The silence rang through Wanda’s ears in the similar way it did when the bomb went off that peaceful night in Sokovia.

The incessant, mind numbing high pitched hum of loneliness's lullaby was the only sound she had heard since the last time one of the guards opened the door, dropped a tray of food and left. Even so, that eerie ringing was better than the voices in her head.

It had been quiet for so long. So long that she had no recollection of how much time had gone by since she was first placed here. All she knew was that she was in this dark cement room at the Raft prison and the only reason she even knew where she was was because she had been here before. Same song and dance of being kept under surveillance, sedated and trapped. When she first got here she noticed how cold it was, but now, she couldn’t feel anything anymore.

In the time that she had been here, the daily shots they administered to render her powers useless were taking their toll. Fighting through it got harder with each injection. They even went as far as to place a shock collar around her neck, just like they did before, like she was some kind of animal ... a beast. After all, the darkhold was, for all intents and purposes, a beast. It made her forget her good side, it made her a shell of who she used to be and it was determined to do everything to remain in control. It didn’t matter anymore how much she missed her old self, vengeance tasted too good and Wanda was unwilling to part with the one thing left that made her feel alive. Revenge.

So for god only knows how long, Wanda’s mind, body & soul were laced with a conflicting cocktail of tranquilizing liquids and stimulating magic. No amount of sedation could numb the ache yet it was efficient enough to keep her powers at bay.

It drove her mad. Writhing in pain as her mind switched back and forth between good and evil. Twitching like a television losing it’s signal. Every jerk, every scream, every violent urge... it was destroying her.

She was losing.

As the drugs penetrate into Wanda’s brain, slowly deteriorating whatever control she had left, she developed hallucinations. Her once physical battle now manifests mentally & it was getting harder & harder for her tell what was real & what was fake.

In these hallucinations, sometimes all of her horrors would mutate & create one terrifying scene that she couldn’t escape from. They preyed on her over & over again. Those moments were unbearable to the point she swore they would kill her. The pain, the guilt, the hopelessness, it was causing physiological symptoms.

She was in the depths of agony.

But other times, things weren’t always so bad. Some of the hallucinations brought her brief moments of peace and it was those moments that she believed kept her alive.

Precious moments would grace themselves into her lonely world. Visions of laughter, warmth and love. All the things she had forgotten.

She’d see home outside the one tiny window just below the ceiling. Gathering the strength to get up and look, she’d see her Sokovia in springtime. All the beauty it had to offer, including a young Wanda & Pietro running in the swaying meadows. She’d watch as the sun would kiss their skin so delicately that it felt like a comforting hug. The hallucinations were so real she could feel the warmth, smell the wildflowers and hear the sweet, tenor voice of her brother again.

Other days the barren room she withered away in would transform into her bedroom at the Avengers tower where she’d be laying contently on her bed. In the glow of a sunset afternoon, she’d turn her head and there you’d be, right next to her laughing along as you shared a memory. In these visions Wanda could never recall what the stories were about but it didn’t matter. Your mere presence was enough to pump the blood through her veins again. She just wished it could do the same for you. To bring you back to her so she didn’t have to watch you dissolve in the mist, slipping through her hands in the sunrise.

Wanda missed you so much.

You had died a year ago, caught in the crossfire of a senseless battle just like her brother. Except she was away on a mission, not there to protect you like she always promised. She didn’t get to say goodbye. And with the world only getting worse despite these battles for justice, you had died for nothing. Your death was her final straw and subsequently what lead her to the place she is now.

Wanda couldn’t let go of you. All the unfinished business and the moments you never got to have ate her alive. She needed you. Even when her mind was clear, she’d close her eyes & see you there. You always saw the good in her. You saw past her troubled mind to see the heart that ached to feel anything other than pain. Inside this powerful being was a little girl screaming for relief. A little girl who lost everything, and lost herself along the way. Even when she didn’t deserve it, you always stood by her. And now here she was, imprisoned for her unforgivable crimes. The same kind that took you from her.

You were the only thing that made me good, Wanda thought as she looked down to her blackened finger tips.

Completely overcome with grief, Wanda crumbled in misery, crying herself into exhaustion. With her head dropped down in front of her, her drowsy eyes began to flutter closed. Succumbing to the desire for rest, Wanda let her mind fly away.

“Wanda?” She heard your voice quiver from the corner of the room. “What happened to you?”

Wanda jolted at the sound & her eyes immediately searched for the angelic sound of your voice.

There you were, right here in front of her.

Wanda had enough hallucinations to make her lose count, and she had admittedly used her powers to mold you out of the mist before, but this was different. None of them were as real and as tangible as you are right now.

“Y/n?” Wanda’s voice cracked in awe. Her tear stained eyes traced over you feverishly, as if you’d disappear any second, just like you always did at the end of all her previous dreams.

You rushed over to Wanda’s weakened body with that familiar urge to protect her. Crouching down in front of her so you were at eye level, your eyes finally met after what felt like a million years.

Wanda immediately lifted her shaking hands to your face. Cupping it gently, as not to turn you back to dust. She brushed her thumbs across your cheek before running her fingers through your hair, pushing both sides behind your ears and stopping to cradle the back of your head. Her touch was as loving as it was inquisitive. She was in disbelief. In all her other hallucinations she could never feel you as solid matter the way she could now. She needed to feel your skin, to feel your bones, to ensure that you were in fact really here.

“You’re real” she whispered, bewildered. “How are you here? How did you get in here?” Wanda couldn’t understand. You were dead.

As Wanda’s infected mind wandered trying to solve this mystery, it dawned on her ... she wasn’t there when you supposedly died. She didn’t see it happen. What if Hydra had taken you the way they’d taken others? What if you were alive the whole time? A glimmer of hope had pumped it’s way through her veins, reviving her.

“Don’t worry about that now. Wanda, tell me what happened? What are you doing here?” You dodged her question, it was irrelevant in comparison to the Wanda you saw in front of you.

“I-”, feeling overwhelmed by reality of what she’d done once again, Wanda let out a sob, “I’m so sorry.” Her voice was weak & raspy from the lack of use.

“For what baby?” You pleaded. Your eyes scanned over her trying to make sense of it all.

Wanda looked thin, you thought, almost concave. Her skin was pale and her eyes were sunken and almost completely void of life. You noticed the collar and the track marks from needles on her skin and as you came to the realization, your body became weak.

“What are they doing to you?” you asked softly.

There was a pause while Wanda’s mind scrambled to take in this moment, while also debating whether to explain what she had done. Eventually, she did just that. She traced back every ugly act, desperate to try and release herself of the pain. You just sat there and listened.

“I didn’t mean to” Wanda begged. Her voice was tightening with emotion. “I didn’t mean for it to go this far.” You watched as the water flowed from her eyes like waterfalls. Her eyes were drawn to the floor in shame, causing you to fall apart with her.

Instinctually, you leaned forward onto your knees and whisked her into your arms, placing one hand around her body and the other to the back of her head, leading it into the crook of your neck.

“I know” you whispered to her comfortingly.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t astounded—disturbed even, by what Wanda shared with you. It was chilling and scary and completely uncharacteristic of the Wanda you fell in love with. Sure, Wanda had a dark side and she wasn’t perfect, but she wasn’t evil. She was just a little girl who lost her way. Ultimately, it didn’t matter what Wanda did, the longer you sat here watching her dissolve into nothing, made you unable to see her as anything other than the woman you knew ... incapable of seeing her as anything but your Wanda. You knew her, because she was a part of you. In this life and in every life. The two of you were connected so firmly that it was as if you were feeling every inch of her sorrow with her.

As Wanda’s tears subsided and her body regained stability, you separated yourself from her in order to look at her once again.

Wanda held on to your hands tightly, unwilling to let them leave her again. “I’m not a monster y/n.” she kept saying these things as if you ever thought differently.

“I know” you reassured her, brushing your hand lovingly against her cheek.

There was a slight pause before you spoke again, an idea coming to mind. “Come here.”

Lifting to your feet, you tugged Wanda’s hands upwards, signaling for her to follow your action. Wanda stood up, her eyes looking into yours and flickering back and forth with curiosity.

In another short pause, you stayed there looking into her eyes. You looked beyond their surface and noticed the way they flashed subtly between a Wanda green and a Scarlet red. It was as if two souls lived inside her and each one was fighting for dominance.

She was in complete inner turmoil. Powerless to the torture of her mind.

You couldn’t stand to see her like this, killing herself slowly.

“Show me “Wanda”” you finally spoke. If she was ever going to heal from this, she needed to find herself again.

And like a moth to a flame, Wanda did exactly as you asked. With alluring swirls of red, she brought life into this desolate room. Instead of waking nightmares, she formed wonders of beauty. A speckling of stars graced the ceiling and the ground turned from solid plaster to a soft bed of grass. A blanket appeared beneath both of your feet and in one swift movement, Wanda took your hand and laid you down beside her. In that moment, it was Wanda and you as you were before it all went bad. Before you disappeared from her world.

The sceneries continued to change. From a peaceful beachfront sunrise to a cozy autumn date. Where you talked and talked, never seeming to run out of things to share. From both of you cuddled in a chair at a Christmas party, watching the blizzard blow outside the window, to a night-in cooking dinner together. You laughed and laughed, until your stomach’s burned with such joyful pain.

Wanda was making up for lost time. Recreating all the things you had done and creating all the things that should’ve been. Wanda showed you her light, her humor, her chivalry, her heart. All the good she had lost. You wanted her to see that she still had her humanity. You wanted her to see that she didn’t die with the darkhold.

Then, Wanda took you to this abandoned ballroom in Sokovia. Back before the war, when her home still breathed with life.

Hand-in-hand, you both looked up and around at the elegance of Elizabethan Baroque architecture. Although run down and forgotten, it still beamed with a beauty you were in awe of. The interior was palace-like. White marble walls adorned with dainty patterns and detailed carvings. All housed within a ceiling so high it felt like a cathedral. Massive windows had been broken, leaving the room feeling like it was half enclosed, half outdoors. And as you walked through, your footsteps crunched over scattered rubble which echoed loudly with every step.

“I used to sneak away and come here when I was a kid.” Wanda told you as she watched the memories play out in front of her.

“Little mischievous Wanda” you laughed, poking fun at her rebellious ways starting so young. She chuckled back, unable to deny it.

“Why’d you come here?” You added, genuinely curious to know more about her younger self.

“I don’t know. I stumbled upon it one day. Even though it’s massive, it was tucked away in an area I rarely ventured out to. I snuck through the window one day and just kept coming back. It was my hideout.” There was a break in her answer as she continued to look around. “I liked the grandeur of it all. The silence. The way people and their moments used to exist here and now it’s just a symbol for the passage of time.” You knew exactly what she meant.

Wanda guided you to the center of the ballroom floor and wrapped her arms around your neck before the flick of her finger caused a gentle sway of notes to reverberate off these forsaken walls.

Rocking your body slowly, her eyes lingered on yours. In the same way you did with her, Wanda noticed something missing in your eyes. Existence. Like they were becoming see through. And with it, her rose colored veil begins to fall and a piece of her heart crumbling with it once again.

This may not have been completely a hallucination, but it wasn’t completely real either. The drugs had caused illusions similar to dreams but this... this was her own magical doing. She wasn’t sure how she did it but she figured her chaotic mind had made for chaos magic. That her desperation reached it’s peak and stretched her powers to a place they’d never gone before.

She continued, swallowing the lump that was beginning to form. “But I think now I see, it was the way that beauty still existed in it’s sorrow that made me love this place.” You wrapped your arms around her waist and rested your head against her chest, hugging her tightly, knowing this was bigger than the temple you danced in.

You felt her body deflate in your arms as she came to terms with something you didn’t know.

Then she spoke again.

“And how the dead still live in the air that we breathe.” her voice tightened. “they live on in the memories, in the energy of the places they once stood.”

“That they’re never really gone.” you finished for her. In that moment you started to feel funny. Your body felt phantom but your mind was still sharp and that’s when you too had realized that your job here was done. That this wasn’t “real” but instead, a temporary moment existing again. The pieces started fall into place. How you couldn’t remember why or how you were here. It’s because Wanda formed you from her agony, bringing you back to life, just for a moment.

Gradually, the setting you were in begins to disintegrate in thin air and you were back in Wanda’s lonesome cell.

Keeping your position, you both swayed slowly in a painful silence. Both aware of what comes next, but both unwilling to accept it quite yet.

“Is it peaceful in the afterlife?” Wanda asked, almost too quietly to hear, finally speaking her realization out loud. She yearned for some sort of solace.

“Not as peaceful without you.” You paused, trying to console yourself. “But it’s not your time baby.” But just like that, the tears were back and it felt hard to breathe. “You have to let it go. You have to let me go.”

Like a child latching on to their mother, Wanda manages to speak through her choked up state, “Let me go with you.” She knew you were right, that she had to let go of the guilt and at least try to fill endless chasm that came with losing you. She knew you were right about needing to let go of the darkhold so she could live again. But she would still rather be with you.

“I love you Wanda.” is all you could muster. You whispered it into her ear and then kissed her with an ache you can’t describe. It felt like floating, it felt like dying all over again, yet it felt like a first breath.

Wanda knew it was impossible. That no matter how powerful she was, she couldn’t be with you now. She knew that as always, you knew exactly what to do, exactly what to say. Even in the afterlife, you could save her.

She knew that she had to destroy the darkhold. No amount of black magic could make her right inside but there was a world of good that she could do with her gift. This world needed her good. You had always told her that.

“I’m here whenever you need me.” You said, taking one last look into her eyes and placing your hand above her heart to indicate where you’ll be in the meantime.

Placing a chaste kiss to her cheek, you whispered, “I’ll see you again, love.” before fading back into the place between.

————

Tag list: @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @wandavisionmoot , @alexia-rmks, @impossibleliv1031

#elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff #wanda x fem!reader #wanda x female reader #fanfic #one shot #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #marvel #mcu #dark #emotional #ghosts

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