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technowoah · 3 years

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THESEUS - a dsmp story ( DreamSMP x Queen!Reader)

CHAPTER FOUR : LOOK ‘EM IN THE EYE AIM NO HIGHER, SUMMON ALL THE COURAGE YOU REQUIRE THEN COUNT!

Chapter Summary: Wilbur makes a proposition, Tommy finally gets his fight, warning shots are fired and the bomb that was planted finally went off.

pairing: c!wilbur x queen!reader

an// tbh im not that happy with this one, I hope yall like it! but hopefully Ill like chapter 6 lol

⚠︎ swearing, dsmp spoliers(?), angst, fighting, minor blood mention, not proofread. Y/N/N = your nickname

word count: 5.1k

THESEUS MASTERLIST

"Are you sure you want to do this because Tommy is a good fighter!"

"He's also good at being annoying, so you'll die either way."

"SHUT UP YOU TWO!"

Currently Tommy and You were by a small lake in L'Manburg facing each other with swords and guns. Fundy and Tubbo were belittling Tommy on the sidelines. Tubbo was trying to convince the both of them not to do this so they wouldn't get hurt badly before the actual war begins. Wilbur was standing in between the two and Eret nervously standing off to the side with Tubbo and Fundy.

When You arrived you explained to the three people who were there, Tubbo, Fundy, and Wilbur, that Tommy and you were going to fight that day. Tubbo and Fundy were not for that idea at all, but Wilbur approved it. After a while of thinking and conversation of course he agreed.

Eret and Tommy arrived at L'Manburg as well and apparently Tommy already told Eret that he was fighting his wife.

"You know what Eret? I'm gonna fight your wife today! Yeah it'll be a good fight, don't worry I wont hurt her that badly."

Of course Eret did not want this duel to happen and tried to convince Wilbur to not let the two do this to one another. He was concerned about the task and hand yes, but You getting hurt or even worse, killed was not a thing he wanted not needed. Tommy was a loose cannon, he worked on impulse. You were basically fighting a bull while wearing all red.

Wilbur had pulled You aside for the second time this week and started to have a conversation with you again. It was a needed conversation so when Wilbur grabbed her arm.and pulled her away you didn't hesitate this time. As the two talked in the distance you heard Fundy yelling at Tommy about the dangers of fighting You at a time like this. Your mind was all over the place at this point.

"You know how this works?" Wilbur looked at You and Tommy.

"Yes!"

"Yes I do"

You knew what was going to happen. They both had 6 bullets in their gun, if they use all of their bullets they can use their swords instead. You were in your head at this moment. Wilbur was explaining how this duel would work to Tubbo, while You contemplated whether to waste youshot by shooting in the sky or aiming at Tommy's foot. you didn't want to hurt him at all, they had a war coming soon so hurting Tommy would not help L'Manburg. Then again, when was helping L'Manburg a part of your mission?

You snapped out of your mind and saw Tommy glaring daggers at her. He looked harmless.

"I am going to beat you." Tommy said in a voice that can be only compared to a robot.

"You wish!" You scoffed and smiled, smiled which made Tommy scoff and look away.

Wilbur spoke over the two, "ALRIGHT! You two will be back to back facing away from each other, then take ten paces. When I say "fire" you two will fire and shoot and fight until one is damaged and cannot battle anymore or until I call a draw. Understand?"

"Yes Wilbur!" Tommy exclaimed.

"Of course." You calmly said.

"Alright" Wilbur agreed and motioned for the two to turn away from each other.

They had both touched backs and You had taken a huge deep breath.

The dilemma in your head was still spinning. Whether to shoot him or to shoot into the air. you would be a coward wouldn't you?

"You scared?" Tommy taunted you.

"No. Just getting ready to beat your ass."

"HA! That's not gonna happen. You're all talk."

"We'll see about that." Wilbur spoke, inserting himself into their conversation.

Wilbur had stepped back towards the group of men who sat and were watching the whole duel. There was tension in the air, they all could feel it. They all thought this was a bad idea, You thought this was a bad idea. What if this tore the whole plan apart will they ever get to-

"READY? ONE!"

They both took a step.

Aim to the sky or aim towards Tommy?

"TWO!"

Where would you aim?

"THREE!"

What would happen if Tommy ended up dead?

"FOUR!"

Would Dream be happy?

"FIVE!"

If you aim towards the sky. Tommy might shoot. you would be an open target.

"SIX!"

It would be over right? If you aim at the sky?

"SEVEN!"

Tommy.

"EIGHT!"

Up in the air.

"NINE!"

How can this end?

The sky? Tommy? Where does the bullet go?

Where do you go?

"NUMBER TEN PACES, FIRE!"

*bang!*

Tommy's eyes widened and You stood my ground.

"She shot her pistol towards the sky?!" Tubbo shouted.

Wilbur stood there with a smirk and Eret let out a sigh of relief and immediately relaxed. Tommy didn't shoot his gun at all; he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. This was the right way.

-----------------

"I want you to shoot into the sky." Wilbur had taken you to an uninhabited part of the wall to talk.

"Why?"

Wilbur had sighed and looked over to where Tommy was gloating to Eret about dueling his wife.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Tommy is rather impulsive. He does things without thinking or with any concern for consequence. He says things without thinking too, as you've seen firsthand."

You nodded and laughed before Wilbur kept talking.

"I want him to hesitate. I want him to think for once. I know he wants to fight right now, he's riled up because of the battle. I expect him to shoot, but I hope that he won't. He won't." Wilbur seemed to be convincing himself this was a good idea.

"That's reassuring." You replied sarcastically.

Wilbur rolled his eyes, "I believe he won't kill you nor harm you. At least that's the plan. I care for him. He's a good fighter and he should be able to see his opponent before going all ape shit."

"I get it. I want to do this, but you said he works on impulse. What if he shoots?" You continued to worry.

"I'm here. And uh- Fundy is great at healing. We have healing potions in the van as well. You will not die on my watch. We need you for the war."

You nodded and continued to stare into Wilbur's brown eyes waiting for another comment from his mouth.

"Do this for me please? For us?"

You opened your mouth to speak, but Wilbur sighed before continuing his statement,

"You don't have to do this. I should've said that first. I understand that death is scary, believe me I don't want to die either. So I can figure out another way to get to Tommy if you are uncomfortable with this."

This time it wasn't a forced situation. He was literally giving you a huge way out, an open path, but you already agreed to fight before. It wasn't like you were put into this without paths to take. you had options. Now that potions were involved and there are spectators that can act as doctors eased your nerves just slightly. you can do this.

"Or were you planning on shooting Tommy anyways?"

--------------

You looked towards Wilbur and smiled warmly at him and he returned your same smile.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE THE BAD GUY! YOU-"

"I didn't even call it a draw yet Tommy. You can still fight-"

"It's clear that my opponent doesn't want this. If I did, I would be more of a bad guy than I already am now." Tommy dropped his gun to the green grass underneath his feet.

You followed suit, dropping your gun onto the grass below you. You walked towards Tommy trying to find the right words at this moment. He had his head hung low looking at the gun that laid in the lush grass in front of him. You had walked towards him and put a hand on his shoulder and he began to tense up at the friendly gesture.

"Tommy, you're not a bad guy. You did the right thing at that moment. You're neutral really, if you would've shot me then yeah you would be considered "the bad guy". But in reality, there is no such thing as good or bad, there are just people with different morals." You whispered that last part and Tommy seemed to reluctantly understand, still sticking to his main idea of him being a bad guy.

He was really stubborn, which made it harder for you to make him feel better.

"This is what I wanted Tommy! I wanted you to hesitate before you shot her." Wilbur tried to pick his spirits up by revealing his plan.

"THEN WHAT IF I SHOT HER?!"

"you would've been fine. Plus you weren't going to brutally damage or kill Y/N right?"

Tommy stuttered a little bit before speaking, explaining himself.

"No I wasn't! My goal was at least to scare her, or graze you with my bullet." Tommy rushed.

"What if you slipped up and hit Y/N instead?" Tubbo came into the conversation leading Fundy and Eret with him.

"Then I would feel incredibly horrible that I hurt an ally." Tommy said while hanging his head. "I understand, Wilbur, I understand what today's duel was for." Tommy continued.

"To be honest, this was a last minute decision! I talked to Y/N before and we both decided it was a good idea for you. Especially when a war is coming up."

"Mhm. I am okay now. I've learned, and I just hope that I can transfer this into the war." Tommy seemed relieved, but also not wanting to learn his lesson. It was bad to assume, but it sounded like he wanted to get this lecture over with.

Wilbur humed while turning away satisfied with what happened today. He walked towards the HTO van with Fundy following suit leaving Tommy and you standing next to each other still recovering from what just happened. Eret and Tubbo were standing a few feet away from them making small glances to the two making sure they are okay.

"I still hate you." Tommy grumbled.

-----------------

The five citizens were sitting in the meeting room making potions with the brewing machines or doing their own thing at the moment. Wilbur didn't have anything planned for today except for making many potions for battle. You were helping with potions as well. you were more skilled at potion making than battle. you can hold yourself down and maybe kill someone, but you don't recommend for herself to do that.

"Wow Y/N/N you're making potions so much faster than I am. Teach me your secrets!" Tubbo exclaimed.

"What did you call me?" You asked The boy softly.

"What do you mean? I called you Y/N/N." Tubbo said, confused.

Has Dream ever called you Y/N/N before because it seems like you've never been called that before. Tubbo was still looking quizzically at you waiting for an answer.

"I don't think I've been called Y/N/N before." You answered.

"Y/N might be uncomfortable with that." Wilbur joined into their conversation.

"Oh! I'm sorry! If that made you-"

"I'm okay! You can call me Y/N/N'' You said while waving your hands to dismiss the situation.

"Good! I thought I was being a creep or something." Tubbo laughed.

"Y/N/N HELP ME OUT WITH THESE POTIONS WILL YA?" Tommy shouted from across the room.

"Okay you don't get to call me Y/N/N."

Tommy huffed, "If my best friend can call you Y/N/N I will too!"

"Okay children settle down." Eret said while looking up from the book he was writing.

There was another pause until Fundy had spoken.

"Today seemed like a good day huh? Even though it isn't over so far, so good eh?" Fundy tried making conversation after writing whatever enchantments in his book.

"Yes it was so far! Very surprising today." Tubbo agreed with Fundy.

"Tommy and You gave me a heart attack today. I wouldn't consider this a good day so far." Eret exhaled jokingly. He seemed in good spirits today.

"I'm sorry I gave my husband a heart attack." You taunted.

"But seriously that scared me. Thank goodness nothing happened to the both of you. I wouldn't know what I would do." Eret continued.

"You would live." You said bluntly, staring at him.

Eret nodded at you, sending a small smile your way.

"You would've been a good fighter. Have you fought before?" Fundy inquired.

"I have fought before! I've been trained as well, I'm more into the sneaky side of things, and making potions like I am now." You cheerfully explained.

"Sneaky things?" Wilbur asked.

Your eyes widened slightly before maintaining your composure. you forgot that Wilbur was still on youtail. He thinks that You is still suspicious, so of course when you said that he would jump on the opportunity to interrogate her.

"You could be a spy for us! Maybe spy on Dream and George!" Tubbo exclaimed.

Oh the irony.

Wilbur hummed, "Maybe, that would be interesting. We could get information and they wouldn't turn her down."

"It would be too late anyways if they've seen you here so it would be a major red flag if you showed up there trying to join their team." Eret spoke up, still concentrating on writing enchantments with Fundy.

Thank God that Eret was here, You would be stumbling for the right words and then eventually blowing their cover. you had this happen too many times. They are almost to the end you have to pull back.

"True. You're right!" Wilbur agreed. "Plus we've been more productive since you two came back."

Eret and you both nodded in agreement and went back to doing their tasks.

Tubbo and You were standing together on one side of the room making potions and talking to one another until Tubbo made a quiet gasp.

You looked at him and followed his line of gaze until you saw them again. It was Sapnap and Dream on the top of the new, enlarged L'Manburg walls. Dream pulled back his hand and whipped something toward the van. It looked metal and shiny as it bounced harshly in the grass.

Sapnap then pulled out a bow and arrow and Dream had set it on fire. Sapnap launched the arrow into the walls and it landed by the machine that Dream had thrown. The grass around the arrow caught on fire as well, not making a huge fire but enough to scare the two.

"WILBUR! You have a gift!" Tubbo said as he rushed out of the van and You watched carefully through the window so the two wouldn't do anything to the boy.

"Where did he go?!" Wilbur yelled.

"He went outside to grab the metal thing Dream and Sapnap threw." You said keeping an eye on Tubbo as he came back into the van.

Wilbur rushed towards the window where Aryia was stationed and looked towards the top of the wall where Dream and Sapnap were. Dream took one last final glance at the two in the window then turned away to jump down the wall with Sapnap following suit.

"Guys you might want to take a look at this." Tubbo said while placing the metal thing, which was an old answering machine, on the table.

Wilbur sighed, clearly exhausted with everything that had been going on. He sat down on the edge of the table. Tubbo pressed play on the machine and the recording started.

"Tommy, and Wilbur, and the rest of L'Man-child-burg. We are at war. There is no mercy. We have burned down Tubbo's house, we have planted TNT cannons around your land, we have cobblestone walled the outside, we have shot one warning shot inside your walls. WE HAVE NO MERCY, NO MERCY FOR YOU! We will burn down your houses! We will kill everything inside your walls and we will take back the land that is rightfully ours. If you do not surrender I WANT TO SEE WHITE FLAGS! WHITE FLAGS OUTSIDE YOUR BASE BY TOMORROW AT DAWN, OR YOU ARE DEAD!"

*beep~*

There was a long beep until Tubbo shut off the recorded message. Everyone was silent looking at each other for the next move. Everyone either had a face of anger or one of concern. Eventually everyone turned to Wilbur who had his head down, his hair slightly covering his eyes in a thinking pose. We were waiting for a response from the leader, but it didn't seem like anyone had a response to this situation.

"Hey lets just-"

"Grab me a book and a pen" Wilbur spoke.

------------------

It's been about an hour since we last received the message. The sun has gone down and they are all still sitting around the meeting table.

"What do we get? What's the report?" Wilbur asked.

Tommy started, "Okay so here's the situation, the ‘Dream boys' they're on the roof, they've already killed me and Tubbo once, they feel like they got their power. Their egos are up-"

"They've taken it all." Tubbo added.

"I don't know man, what do you think we've got to do now? Ultimately you're the leader here." Tommy asked the older man.

Wilbur paused before speaking, "I think, the element of surprise is needed. We can't go in just guns blazing."

"My son, how are you doing?" Wilbur asked Fundy.

Fundy stuttered before speaking, "I could've been better."

Wilbur smiled then opened the book he had been writing in for the past hour.

"Before we go into battle though-

"WORDS OVER WEAPONS MY FRIEND!" Tommy interrupted Wilbur

"My gents and m'lady, may I read you the Declaration of Independence?"

Wilbur had started to read through the Declaration complementing the writers who wrote lines in the book. He began reading the main parts of the book.

"When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for-"

"Wilbur" Tommy interrupted Wilbur again

"Yes what, what?" Wilbur asked annoyed

"They're surrounding us, Wilbur."

Tommy stood up looking out of the window at the many fiery arrows making their way towards the van and making the grass around the van catch on small fires.

From inside the van it looked like rain from hell. All the fears you once had came flooding back into your mind. you put herself right in front of the greatest fighters, and assassins in the kingdom and you might not make it out alive.

Wilbur started to head out of the door trying to face his opponents. They all were putting themselves out there exiting the van as fast as they could like a huge target. Speaking of target, an arrow shot by Sapnap landed too close for comfort next to Wilbur. He seemed un phased at this.

"They're not the best shot." Wilbur turned his back on the archers and stood in the doorway to the group inside.

Wilbur began to yell at the archers, "Gentlemen how are you!?"

"Good!" Dream replied bluntly.

Surprisingly they could hear both of each other.

"Do you like the view of our nation!?" Wilbur asked as he smirked.

"Oh God!" Tubbo exclaimed, worried because of the taunting Wilbur was doing.

"We might be a little out gunned here gentlemen." Eret said softly to the others while placing a hand on your shoulder in a comforting way.

"I thought this was a trailer park!" Dream shouted back.

"Very funny, listen. It seems like you've gained the upper hand in people! We will meet you in the field, but on our own terms!" Wilbur concluded.

"YEAH!" Tommy shouted at the archers hyping Wilbur up.

The rest laughed at Tommy's antics trying to keep it together.

"Please stop making things worse!" Tubbo laughed.

Another arrow was shot at Wilbur's feet. He was clearly stunned by this, turning to the rest of the L'Manburgians he spoke to them.

"We armor up gents." Wilbur said, walking away.

Just as he walked away Tommy followed Wilbur outside of the van and then an arrow was shot into Tommy's bicep by George. Tommy yelled in anger and in pain, and the rest followed suit yelling in shock. Tommy clutched the arm that the arrow had found its way into, he tried to keep it together as he fell to his knees. You rushed to Tommy's side trying to take the arrow out carefully and heal him. He kept on shielding his arm away from you and kept babbling incoherent nonsense about “leaving him alone” too.

"It's okay! I'm fine! I'm fine! Don't worry!" Tommy kept shouting.

"You're not fine Tommy, let me help!" You yelled and he finally succumbed to you.

You slowly pulled out the arrow and used bandages that Eret had rushed to give you to wrap around his arm carefully. Throughout this whole process Tommy had a face of discomfort and pain until you had successfully bandaged his upper arm so no blood would seep through. Later on you would have to tend to his wounds more delicately.

"Just stay inside!" Fundy yelled in a hurried tone and was angry at the fact someone had already gotten hurt.

This would've been the outcome of the duel if you hadn't followed Wilbur's orders. Either way he would've been injured. Of course they would go for Tommy. Wilbur's right hand man. It was bound to happen.

You and the rest of the men were clad in netherite or diamond armor and they surrounded Wilbur waiting for another order.

"Tommy I'm putting you in charge of this army." Wilbur said.

Your eyes widened. Didn't Wilbur just say he acted on impulse. This was a bad idea. you were going to die at the hands of the people who gave this opportunity to you.

Wilbur continued, "No matter what happens during this war, no matter who wins and who loses. Just remember that we're on the right side of history."

You have heard that before. What side of history was you on? They have rubbed off on you of course, but with different morals coming from both sides, whose morals do you fit with? If you die, will you be painted in the wrong manner? Are you on the right side as you stand with Eret and Fundy in L'Manburg? Is there even a right side?

"Up the walls we go!" Tommy exclaimed as the group climbed the ladder over the walls.

Your heart was pounding as Tommy led the way towards their next destination. This was going to be very interesting.

----------------

Tommy led us to the destination where the other warriors were on top of a small tower looking down on the L'Manburgians.

"God- whatever we do, don't go up the tower." Tubbo exhaled.

"We have to get them down to our level. We have to get them to come down on their own accord." Wilbur commanded.

"Those bastards." Tommy said as an arrow made of fire was shot precisely onto the ground.

The floor began to rumble as the ground cracked and smoke began to rise beneath you revealing the red, fiery TNT that blew up from beneath them breaking the very ground and dirt they stood on making everyone lose their balance. Everyone started screaming, scrambling to get away from the constant chain of TNT slipping and falling on the debris, and the crevices that formed. You had started to run faster,and faster, sometimes you fell to your knees because of the ground shaking and breaking underneath you. You couldn’t look back but you heard screaming and you could only hope and pray no one fell into the big canyon the TNT made behind you. Your mind was not catching up your feet as you blindly followed Tommy into his own home, cutting around the whole kingdom. The rest followed close behind making their way into the house.

Their clothes were tattered and dirty, singes from the fire were on their war uniforms and armor. As they scrambled for safety the arrows kept coming, hitting the house and the ground outside of it. You felt like this was it for you, your first friends, your enemies shooting arrows of fire at you through your so-called enemies house. You had to stay alive though, keep up the act, but right now you didn't really have to keep an act up because you were actually scared for your life.

The grass in front of Tommy's house was burning while the men gave Tommy all of their arrows. Wilbur commanded them to hail them with arrows. Arrows began burning through the walls breaking into their safe haven. To escape this situation Wibur had told all of them to scatter and make it harder for the archers to shoot them. They all did just that, playing on the defensive dodging the arrows that were hurled towards their way.

Eventually the archers jumped off of the tower retreating towards a nearby river. The L'Manburgians currently had the high ground and You started shooting with arrows purposefully missing so you wouldn't hurt them.

"They are heading to Ponk's tower!" Tommy shouted.

You looked up to one of the highest towers in the kingdom. Damn.

"In that case we need to start heading towards Ponk's tower!" Tubbo yelled, ceasing his arrows trying to get the rest of them to follow his lead.

The men followed Tommy through his shortcuts to get to the base of Ponk's tower faster. Fundy went forward shooting at the others at the base of the tower. You, Eret, Tommy and Tubbo followed Fundy and started shooting and dodging as well.

For now they have retreated towards the walls of L'Manburg hiding slightly below the top. Wilbur was there at first then the rest of the groups followed. The arrows couldn't reach them and the boys cheerfully pointed that fact out. Soon they had started slowly retreating as the sun went down in the distance. You sighed and cheered with the rest of the men that they finally stopped fire. Your heart still beating fast you looked behind you towards Eret sending each other a knowing glance.

The rest were cheering and complimenting each other until Eret spoke up.

"Gentlemen, I think we need to go back to our home." Eret said.

"I think you're right, Eret." Tommy agreed happily.

They made their way back to L'Manburg into the night with Tommy leading them for the last time tonight. Tommy and Wilbur were playfully bickering through the whole walk back to L'Manburg. It was a fun time filled with laughter and it was much needed after that whole war. Even though they all were beaten and tattered with burn marks and scratches, they kept smiling. It's crazy to think about.

The fun ended for you as they reached their destination. The extended walls of L'Manburg were in their sights and your heart rate picked up even more than it had before. This is the end.

"Gentlemen in L'Manburg I have a secret weapon." Eret says, sparking a new conversation.

"What is it?" You asked playing dumb.

"What is it?" Wilbur asked asked as well

"A secret weapon!?" Tubbo exclaimed.

"I feel like Eret is just going to pull out a giant missile." Fundy joked around and your breath hitched. If only they knew.

"But seriously, what do you mean you got a secret weapon?" Tommy spoke fast.

"I've been grinding for equipment, I've been grinding materials." Eret said not to give it away.

"Show us please!" Tommy exclaimed as they all entered L'Manburg once more today.

You joined in as well, "I haven't seen any of this show us Eret!"

You hated lying to them.

----------------

"This is the final control room for you too!" Dream yelled with excitement showing the beautiful dark room.

The chests were empty, there was a button on top of a podium, and there was a secret room where Dream and the rest would be hiding after the war. The plan was simple enough on paper. The two countries would fight until sun down and then Eret would lead the L'Manburgians to the final control room where he would press the button and then The citizens of L'Manburg would be killed and a life would be taken from them.

Dream has taught You about the life limit. Everyone in the kingdom had three lives and if all three lives were taken, there is no coming back. you felt weary taking away someone's life.

"This is where the battle will end." Dream said calmly

Currently it was just Eret and You with Dream. Dream kept explaining the mechanics of the room while they both listened. You kept slipping in and out of your mind at the moment.

This would be the end, he said. It will all come to an end and you will finally find your place in the huge kingdom. you can finally have closure. It will all come to an end.

"You two are on the right side of history, don't worry. Cause if you do this you'll be doing the kingdom a huge favor."

----------------

"This way." Eret led the group into the final control room.

The men were astonished about the huge tunnel entrance to the room. They continue to rush down the tunnel to catch up to Eret.

"I'm excited to show you!" Eret cheerfully said as he walked. "They will never suspect a thing!"

They all ended up in the final control room. You made sure to stand next to Eret making sure that they stayed together. you knew where to leave and when the button was pressed but you had a few minutes to play it off.

"WHAT?"

"This is so cool!"

"What is this place?!"

"There's nothing in the chests." Wilbur said bluntly, as he turned to us still crouching because he opened the chests.

"Eret?" Tubbo asked.

Eret pressed the button and then the wall behind Wilbur opened and revealed Dream, Sapnap, George and Punz. The men started to scream in shock. They were getting attacked. Blood was being spilled and fire was burning down the whole final control room. Eret grabbed your hand pulling you to a secret wall, opening it to reveal stairs that led out of the final control room trying to protect you from getting hurt.

The L'Manburgians fought anyone they saw, but the others knew who specifically to kill. As the L'Manburgians fought for their lives you heard Wilbur yell out over all of the chaos.

"A TRAITOR! GET OUT GET OUT!"

Were you a traitor? Yes you were. They died. The fire around their bodies began to calm as their murders stood over their bodies breathing heavily. There was an orange and purple tint to the room. It looked unreal. This was it. Their bodies began to glow a light blue color and disintegrate showing that one of their lives was taken that day. This was the closure you wanted, but why did it feel like an unfinished symphony? Like it reached the climax of the song then ended.

It's over

Eret saluted to their disintegrating bodies and you followed suit.

"Down with the revolution boys! It was never meant to be."

---------------

Wilbur's POV

"Eret how could you?" We sat on the burnt grass of L'Manburg waiting for one another to show up from being killed.

This was what I suspected from the beginning. Sadly this is what I suspected from the beginning.

"Hey where's Y/N?!" Tubbo whipped his head frantically looking for her.

"They were a traitor as well." Fundy said sadly.

Tommy and Eret were facing each other. Tommy in L'Manburg's walls and Eret standing a few feet outside of them. It was a beautiful picture at this moment, very symbolic.

Tubbo was talking to Eret in a distraught voice before Tommy had interrupted him. "Eret listen to me! And I mean this in the nicest way possible. You fucked up." Tommy said harshly to Eret.

Eret only smirked at this like the madman he is and spoke around him, "farewell gentlemen." And he left us in our ruins.

I had such high hopes for the two of them. Especially Y/N. I knew they were trying to find their home, their place in this huge world. Maybe they'll find it with Dream. That's not what I would've wanted, but they might want to stay there. they'll be back, they'll find their home soon.

"We'll meet again. I know you."

taglist: @hi-imuwu

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sneakydraws · 3 years

Text

Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)

And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao

0 the fool I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance. 11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe

Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword?

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #tarot

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skrs-cats · 5 years

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No don’t stop I wanna hear more about this au!!! It sounds really interesting and better than canon :D

ok i REALLY wanted to draw something for this ask but LIKE i wanna ramble morE NOW so ILL JUST DRAW SOMETHING FOR IT ONCE I CAN USE OUR COMP AGAIN KDHF

under read more bc its long!!

*the cat cult is distinctly something that happens once the three sibs manage to persuade at least one df trainee in each clan that they shouldnt really trust tigerclaw and the others so easily. ive yet to pick cats for the occasion, but in thunderclan’s case, im like super interested w the fact that thornclaw was a part of it despite being alive when tigerclaw had been threatening thunderclan. the sibs are especially confused by this, and it leads them to the decision to not confront the dude, cause it might give away their ‘work’, and they’d rather not have that. eventually thornclaw does find out, but thats a story for another time

*in this au the cattos actually need training to be able to control their powers, and the cats who’re gonna train them? *drum roll please* WILL BE THE ANCIENTS, aka jay’s wing, lion’s roar, and dove’s wing, tho the latter doesnt appear until later (i wanna incorporate their reincarnations into this!) they are strictly forbidden to tell anyone abt these dreams, let alone even speak abt it irl. jay and lion just assume that their other sibs have the same thing, holly is oblivious.

*sometimes in jay’s training session w jays wing, the ancient speaks tales abt him and his sister. the air tenses whenever jaypaw tries to bring it up, but he never really gets a straight answer, something akin to pity in jays wings eyes whenever he looks at him.

*surprisingly, these training sessions dont really affect the kids irl, unlike in the dark forest. lion manages to go by the training of thunderclan, the dark forest, and the ancients, all at the same time. and its one of the main reasons why he’s regarded as thunderclan’s best fighter once hes grown up

*u know how jayfeather time travels? yeah well thats a thing that jays wing lets him go through for ‘training’, the only difference? jays wing has to take over jayfeathers body until the guys finished. it causes some really interesting Hi-jinks and Shenanigans. im still deciding on whether lion goes thru something like this or not, but yeah

*cue jaypaw watching fallen leaves’ failed sharp-claw assessment in the past only leaving jays wing in the present aimlessly wandering the real world and getting trapped in the tunnels (he isnt used to being blind) a familiar scent that somewhat makes his heart ache guides him back to the clans.

*it goes on frequent enough that the other cats just shrug it off to ‘jay’s being weird again leave him be’

*oh, and if its not obvious, the ancients are somewhat ‘separate’ from the three, think cinderheart n cinderpelt’s case, only this time theyre actually acquainted w each other. once the three die, their souls will separate

*i ALSO PLAN TO HAVE A BACKSTORY FOR THE ANCIENTS. i have a vague idea but i thought itd just be really cool to add more into it

*the moment dovepaw is told to be the third cat. jayfeather immediately confronts jays wing. and the latter spills the beans. doves wing actually appears then. but before jays wing and doves wing actually say anything jayfeather already figured it out.

*rock and midnight are ghosts in canon (still havent thought abt how different their roles would be). like, idk i thats a well known fact i just thought itd be cool. theyre both very tired but still trying their best (come to think of it i wonder how theyre doing rn in the latest books, i hope theyre okay)

WOOF, thats all for now. i really like background and lore heavy things. the next time talk abt this au will be something more relating to the df, the sibs’ plans, and the ‘cat cult’. hopefully w a drawing!!!

thank u, anon who sent this ask, and thank u to whoever read this far!! it really means a lot! :D

#warriors #warrior cats #i dont have a name for this au yet rip #ask #anon #lionblaze #jayfeather #hollyleaf #i speaku

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jenroseyokel · 5 years

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Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, it’s only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, I’ll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. I’ve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isn’t really a best of 2018 list so much as a Here’s a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope you’ll find something interesting here, especially if you’re looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas… ;)

Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:

Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors… and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the “Christian women” section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:

Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)

Anyone who has read Rebecca’s writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.

Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and I’ve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldn’t stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)

Several years ago, James K.A. Smith’s Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.

Good Stories

This year, fiction reading was… all over the place? I don’t know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were fun…

The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)

I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe… two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read.

Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)

Lewis’ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psyche’s jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewis’ storytelling at his best.

Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)

This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and… this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. I’ll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)

Poetry for Everyone

Another new reading practice this year: always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.

A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)

Okay, I’m biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and I’m a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Child’s Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time it’s anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirsten’s 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;)

The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. It’s rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging — the author’s and his parents’ — and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)

When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem “Thirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girl” on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.

Comics!

I’m always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.

Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)

After their father’s tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather… and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)

Y’all, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So she’s trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)

The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)

Weren’t we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Diana’s origin story that’s accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who can’t figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.

The Classic I Finally Read

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.

What’s Next?

In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. I’ve got my eye on Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldn’t normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)

If you’re curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!

What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

#art #books #reading #awesome of the year #readers of tumblr #reading list #favorite books #best of 2018 #readers are leaders yo

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years

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JAKE: Hello there ms kanaya! KANAYA: Hello KANAYA: Jake Right JAKE: Thatd be me! The one and only! JAKE: Or the one and only now haha. JAKE: So uh... weve not had a chance to talk yet. JAKE: Cool chainsaws? KANAYA: Thanks KANAYA: I Had A Lot Of Time To Alchemize More And Better Chainsaws During My First Session KANAYA: It Was A Good Way To Be Passive Aggressive I Think JAKE: If you displayed them on your wall itd make for one hell of a first impression. Imagine being like the dad in the movies whos sitting on the porch polishing his shotgun when his daughters new boyfriend comes over. JAKE: Though ive never heard of anyone displaying chainsaws in the first place... KANAYA: I Will Install Several Pedestals For That Exact Purpose With Tasteful Backlighting KANAYA: They Are Probably Too Heavy To Hang On Most Walls I Wouldnt Want To Cause An Accident JAKE: I say go for it! I think it sounds like the bees pajamas. KANAYA: I Dont Know About The Fashion Predilections Of Insects But Alright KANAYA: I Dont Think Youll Need To Display Weapons Provocatively To Intimidate Potential Suitors If Reports Of Your Recent Activities Are To Be Believed KANAYA: Our Hope Hero Styled Himself Formidable But I See Now He Barely Scratched The Surface Of The Aspects Capabilities KANAYA: Most Of Which I Accidentally Awoke In Him Anyway KANAYA: Which Is A Lesson To Never Be Facetious If Youre Not Willing To Put Up Your Dukes About It So To Speak JAKE: Yeah i learned that the hard way. JAKE: Sometimes you really do just need to tell your problems to fuck off! Whether or not you actually punch them in the face. KANAYA: I Am One Of An Elite Few Who Has Not Faced Off Against An "Evil Clone" Yet KANAYA: Im Almost Disappointed JAKE: Maybe some day? KANAYA: One Day I Enter My Hall Of Chainsaws Only To See One Pedestal Is Empty KANAYA: I Look Down The Hallway And See An Ominous Shadow Advancing KANAYA: The Shadow KANAYA: Its Me JAKE: Like youll get your own version of venom or manbat or something whos your vampire nature run amok! JAKE: ...i did hear correctly right that youre a vampire? KANAYA: Our Term Is Rainbow Drinker But The Idea Is The Same KANAYA: Im Trying To Reform JAKE: Aha. A vegetarian vam- er, rainbow drinker? KANAYA: Vegetables Are Pretty Great KANAYA: Ive Lived On Donations But The Whole Thing Is Kind Of Ridiculous KANAYA: The Sort Of Arrangement That Looks Intriguing And Romantic In Storybooks But In Real Life Is Kind Of A Pain In The Neck JAKE: Literally! KANAYA: I Walked Into That One Didnt I KANAYA: I Was Hoping We Could Edge Gingerly Around That Obvious Pitfall But Instead We Are Charging In At Full Speed JAKE: You made a dive for the window but alas that spotless pane was stronger than anticipated. KANAYA: Im Used To It KANAYA: The Individuals I Traveled With Would Leave No Conversational Stone Unturned Without Wresting Every Wriggling Wordplay Grub From Its Snug Cocoon JAKE: You were with dave and rose right? KANAYA: Yes KANAYA: And Karkat And Terezi KANAYA: And The Clown JAKE: I cant speak for your fellow aliens but for your human companions i daresay it runs in their family. JAKE: Roxy can do incredible things to typos so watch your spelling around her. KANAYA: Spelling Is An Important Part Of Our Brand On Alternia But Ill Watch My Step JAKE: I mean alien typing quirks is a concept im familiar with thanks to the cherubs. Im more talking about bungling the spelling of the words themselves. KANAYA: Understood KANAYA: If There Are Genetic Similarities Between That Group Does That Mean You Take After Those Dreaming On Prospit KANAYA: I Havent Interacted Much With John But I Did Help Guide Jade Through Her Breeding Session KANAYA: That May Not Be Long Enough To Establish True Closeness But Its My Best Frame Of Reference JAKE: As a matter of fact i do. JAKE: ...though the only time ive seen the planet with my own eyes was a few hours ago and i had higher priorities than enjoying the sights. JAKE: Like not leaving my soul flapping in the wind or beating the snot out of the maniac who stole its original getup. KANAYA: Ill Try To Draw Independent Conclusions Based On Your Behavior Rather Than Trying To Match You Up To Any Of Your Ancestors Or Descendants Then KANAYA: Im Not Used To Meeting This Many People KANAYA: Or Any People KANAYA: Fives Been A Crowd JAKE: A feeling i know very very well... JAKE: I mean i seem to remember you were there when we all came across each other in the dreambubbles! KANAYA: In The Dreambubbles KANAYA: ... KANAYA: You Were The One There When We Met The Empresss Previous Form KANAYA: The One Who KANAYA: Uh KANAYA: Attempted To Defeat Her Ghost In A Bout Of Fisticuffs JAKE: Yes. JAKE: That. JAKE: Haha... man that was embarassing in hindsight. KANAYA: If It Makes Any Difference She Was So Addled By The Revelation Of Her Tyrannical Supremacy I Dont Think She Noticed JAKE: Possibly. KANAYA: Actually It Provided Good Conversational Fodder KANAYA: Any Topic Becomes Stale Given Enough Sweeps To Mull It Over So New Stimulation Was Welcome KANAYA: When Dave And Rose Were Together She Frequently Tried To Draw Him Into Speculation About Your Characters KANAYA: He Never Liked To Engage For Some Reason JAKE: That was the first time id been around that many people in my life! JAKE: So i guess that added pressure to impress in a sense. KANAYA: I Grew Up Alone On An Oasis KANAYA: The First Time I Ran Into Crowds Was During This Game JAKE: Likewise! Except it was an island not an oasis. JAKE: That seems to be a trend doesnt it? KANAYA: Jade Told Me Something Similar KANAYA: Maybe Its Easier To Leave The World Behind Without A Second Thought If You Had Fewer Ties To It JAKE: I couldnt agree with you more though its sort of sad when you stop and think about it. JAKE: The game seems to take a lot of lonely chaps doesnt it? JAKE: Or... maybe it sets them up that way. KANAYA: Believe Me As Someone Charged With The Creation Of Life In Our New World The Prospect Weighs On Me KANAYA: Enough To Take Rose Up On An Offer Most Would Consider Suicidal KANAYA: But Then Most Of Her Schemes Are JAKE: O: JAKE: What is it rose is plotting? KANAYA: Oh Hasnt She Gotten To You Yet KANAYA: She Will KANAYA: Especially With Your Capabilities KANAYA: Im Not Clear On The Details Yet But Im Sure Those Will Come In Eventually KANAYA: Probably In The Heat Of The Moment If Our Other Adventures Are Any Indication KANAYA: Mostly It Involves Defying The Status Quo KANAYA: Which Is What Almost Everything She Has Done Since Ive Met Her Boils Down To JAKE: I mean she did help us get calliope back so if theres something she needs me to do id be happy to help lend a hand! KANAYA: I Believe Shes Intending To Bring It Up To The Group Once Weve Finished This Round Of Discussions KANAYA: So Youll Hear About It Then JAKE: Oh boy more mysterious plots. Look i may be a guy whos always eager for the next adventure or whatever but id like to propose a motion that we at least get a siesta first. JAKE: Three super over the top throwdowns in the space of a few hours tuckers a guy out! KANAYA: I Will Back You Up On That KANAYA: If We Bundle Her Up Well Enough She Will Be Unable To Escape And Will Be Forced To Give In To Relaxation JAKE: My grandma used to do that when i was a wee tyke and didnt want to go down for naps. KANAYA: Good Then Youre Familiar With The Technique JAKE: We just need a person three to four times her size and itll be a snap! JAKE: Oh hey jade can handle that. KANAYA: Now That I Have Restored Her First Guardian Abilities I Will Ask That Her First Action Be Restraining Rose For Her Own Good Before She Hurts Herself JAKE: Sounds like a smart idea but given what ive heard of her im not about to volunteer to be the first in her sights. KANAYA: Would Deaths Incurred Be Heroic KANAYA: Im New To These Rules JAKE: Im... not sure. JAKE: Perhaps its best not to chance it. KANAYA: Hopefully We Can Talk Her Into Taking A Short Break JAKE: Surely even a god tier has to take a load off every now and again. JAKE: Unless rose just runs on anarchic fervor and dreams. KANAYA: I Wouldnt Put It Past Her JAKE: Well calm her down and then help her out with her next revolution.

#tlcstuck #kanaya maryam #jake english #walkaround 4

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ibelieveinahappilyeverafter · 6 years

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Your Words On My Skin - Chapter 4

Bonjour, mes chers! Sorry for such a long pause between these updates. Real life decided to sneak it's way back in and let's just say it's not going down without a fight.

AO3 FFN

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Summary: Danny Fenton was born with writing on his arms that proved he had a soulmate out there for him that was much, much older than his parents were comfortable with. The result was his skin being covered as much as possible and Danny warned that he shouldn’t look at the words or write any back. Danny has always been a little bit curious as to who his soulmate was, but he never thought on how curious his soulmate was about him.

<<First Chapter>><<Last Chapter>><<Next Chapter>>

Chapter Four

“Fuck.” That seemed to be the only word possible to accurately describe Danny’s feelings as he stared at his arm where all of Andrew’s words had been cleaned away and replaced with a question that made him feel like his heart was being stabbed.

He had woken up and expected to see a ‘good morning’ or a new story idea that Andrew had scribbled down in the middle of the night - day? - and instead he was greeted with a heaping amount of guilt and irrational anger that it would be so much easier to explain all of this if Andrew had a phone. Right, okay, shower first and then brushing his teeth and then explaining why they had the worst luck ever when it came to soulmates. That was a good plan. Right… Explaining…

He could explain all of this, couldn’t he? It was pretty simple when he laid it all out neatly. He had just stayed quiet because words had appeared the moment he was born, and his parents had terrified him into never even looking at his skin. Right. Easy.

“Time to get up for school, Danny.” Hearing the knock on his door, Danny looked up as Jazz peeked into the room. Judging by her expression, Danny’s expression was even worse than hers. “Soulmate troubles or ghost troubles?”

“He just asked me why I never wrote back.” It seemed to take a moment for Jazz to understand what he meant, but when she did she gave a wince. “How do I even- I can’t- He doesn’t have a phone.”

“Okay, okay, don’t panic. Hey, it’s okay, we’ll figure this out.” Thank whatever fucked up deity was out there for taking pity on Danny and giving him a great big sister. “Has he written anything else, yet?”

“No, and he erased everything else, too.” Danny moved over as Jazz sat down beside him, chewing on her lip and, okay, good, she was thinking. Maybe she would think of a plan to get Danny out of this mess. “What do I say?”

“Well… There’s always explaining to him the truth. Does he know how old you are, yet?” Yes- No. Maybe? Danny couldn’t remember if he had ever actually mentioned his age. “That’s a no, then.”

“He might know. Maybe- Possibly.” He… He probably knew. Nn. “Okay, so, maybe he doesn’t, but does that really change anything?”

“Danny, that could change everything, and you know that.” Yeah, but… He didn’t want it to change everything. “I know your situation is difficult, but if you want it to work, then you need to communicate with each other.”

“Mhm, yeah, so, hey, can I get big sister Jazz back, please?” Therapist Jasmine made him feel bad about his life choices.

“Write to him, explain what’s going on, and if you need to then dump him.” Well, besides that last part, it was a pretty solid plan. “ You should probably take a shower first, though. You have school today.”

“Right- Yeah, that first, but, yeah.” Sliding out of bed, Danny quickly drew Jazz into a hug. “Thanks, Jazz.”

“No problem, Danny. Now go fix things so you don’t sit around here moping.” He hadn’t been- Okay, so he had been moping a little. He was good now, though! So good. Right. Shower and then talk.

Rushing through his morning routine more than a little, Danny was soon sitting on his bed in a tank top and staring at his clean arms before forcing out a sigh and uncapping his pen. “Alright, Andrew… I hope you don’t hate me for this.” If his soulmate was decades older than him, then… Well. He was about to be in for a very nasty shock.

Still. After everything the least Andrew deserved was the truth- Danny had been through fifteen years of silence, too, but his probably hadn’t caused the pain that it had to Andrew.

Danny made sure to not make any of it sound like an excuse as he wrote, because, well, he was just as much at fault as his parents were, really. Danny had put his soulmate through fifteen years of silence because he had been too scared to look at what might - or might not - be there. This- This was just as much his fault as it was theirs. All of it.

It took a lot of small writing and a lot of awkward twisting, but Danny eventually managed to explain everything. He explained about his parents, and how words began appearing when he was just born, and how he was scared to look because his parents made it seem like he just didn’t have a soulmate, and if he never looked, then it couldn’t be proven true, right?

He made sure to tell Andrew that he was fifteen, sixteen in April, and was currently a Sophomore at a high school in Amity Park, Illinois. He talked more about his friends, his sister, and- Well, he may have left his last name out. Andrew might not ‘believe in technology,’ but if he lived close enough then Danny didn’t want him to know that he was ‘one of those crazy Fentons.’

‘So yeah it kind of built up a lot over the years since the moment I was born really and it built and built and I know it’s not an excuse but for what its worth Im so so so sorry Andrew.’

It felt like an eternity before Danny began to see words written in purple pen that was squeezed in on his upper right thigh. ‘I suppose that would explain a lot.’ For some reason, Danny had a feeling that Andrew was very, very shocked by everything.

‘Im mature for my age?’ Jokes. Jokes would help. Right? Hopefully? Maybe? A moment passed by and the words were then viciously crossed out with the purple pen, and, right, Andrew was probably panicking a little bit. ‘Deep breaths??’

‘Is it too much to ask for some time to think?’ That- That was fine, honestly, because Danny sure as hell would want time to think- Hell, he had needed time to think after what his parents told him.

‘Take all the time you need Andrew Ill still be here’ A few seconds passed, and Danny couldn’t help but grin as he saw a few hearts doodled around what he had written down. Danny made sure to draw a few of his own before capping his pen and collapsing on his bed with a tired sigh.

That… It hadn’t gone bad, at least? Granted there were probably places he could have explained a little better, but overall it seemed like Andrew accepted it okay.

“At least it can’t get any more dramatic to-” A wisp of blue escaped out of his mouth and Danny groaned as he rolled over to smother his face into his blankets and why today of all days! Right, okay, time to go be a hero-

Ooh. He could work off some aggression depending on who it was… “Come and face me, whelp! Let the true hunt finally begin!”

“Oh, that is just perfect.” There was nothing for stress relief like bashing in a tin can a couple hundred times. Besides, Danny didn’t even have to feel guilt where Skulker’s suit, was, well, a suit.

Besides, it would be a nice distraction until Andrew wrote him back.

“Fifteen. He’s fifteen. My soulmate is fifteen-years-old- Randy, he’s fifteen-years-old.” Instead of looking appropriately horrified, Randy only stared at him before slowly raising his eyebrows in a rather insulting manner. “He’s fifteen.”

“You know, funnily enough, I figured that out myself when you woke me up screaming about how your soulmate was fifteen.” That- Andrew hadn’t been screaming, he had been… He had been loudly panicking, was all.

“Randy, my mate- Danny is fifteen and I’m- I’m-” He wasn’t even sure how old he was, right now! Fifty? Probably fifty- Actually, it might have been the late forties. Maybe. Somewhere in that age range, at least- He was old. “I’m a horrible, selfish, loathsome, despicable-”

“Would telling you to calm down do anything besides earn me a punch?” Turning to glare at his idiot brother who was not at all taking this matter seriously, Andrew looked around for whatever was closest that could be used as a weapon. “You’re not horrible. It’s not like you can control how old your mate is, Andy.”

“Yes, yes, I know, but he’s fifteen, Randy. That- That’s hardly anything!” Andrew remembered what they were like when they were fifteen and it was, well, it wasn’t the best. God, he had been alive perhaps longer than his mate’s parents had been alive. Oh, dear, that was such a horrible thought.

“If it helps, you’re technically twenty-two and, as far as we know, you won’t be aging again. That leaves Danny plenty of time to catch up to you, yeah?” Right- Right. Plenty of time to catch up and pass him and become even older than him and then Andrew would be the one so much younger and-

“That’s worse. That’s so much worse, Randy.” Because finding out he had been alive longer than his mate was one thing, but finding out that his mate would live, grow older, and die, and that Andrew would be left behind and forced to continue- Worse. Very, very much worse. “Please stop helping to make it worse.”

“Look, you two aren’t going to be solving anything by worrying and fretting and avoiding the important questions. You finally asked him why he never wrote back and now you know - which, really, this is a much better option than a sadistic, sociopath of a mate.”

“Yes, yes, I suppose you would be right, except that makes me the sadistic, sociopathic mate!” God, Danny would never want him once he found out his age- As well as a ghost? If that didn’t drive him off than the fact Andrew was a former assassin would. “Perhaps I can shift reality-”

“No using reality shifting powers to solve your relationship problems!” Making sure to be as petty as possible, Andrew collapsed onto the couch Randy was on and did his best to sit on the man’s arm. “Andy, c’mon, you’re a writer. You’re good with words. You two will find a way to work this out.”

“Yes, but- Oh, hold on.” Danny’s words from before had been messily scrubbed away recently, Andrew seeing a faint imprint of the explanation that he had been seeking for years. What was left behind had Andrew’s blood- Heart- Fuck.

“What is it? Did he ask you why you don’t believe in technology again? Or maybe- Oh.” There, written on his skin in words that were written too fast and too small, was a question that might damn it all.

‘how old are you??’ It should have been a simple question that would be easy to respond to, but- But if he said twenty-two, then Danny would be suspicious and think he was lying, now. If he said his true age, however, then Danny might never want to talk to him again because he was older than his parents, probably.

“Any idea how to answer that one, then?” Mm, yes, see, now- Now that was the question of the day. How to answer this without driving Danny off. “Maybe if you just stretch the truth for a little bit-”

“Randall.” Andrew glared over to where Randy had his hands raised peacefully. “I am not going to lie to my soulmate about my age of all things! I don’t want to lie to him period!” Which, okay, the technology thing had broken that a little, but- But he only said that, so he didn’t lie to Danny further! Yes, okay, alright, he hadn’t exactly been honest with Danny about some things, but he had never lied about anything too important! He had just neglected to mention a few key points of who he was.

‘I suppose you would want to know- Don’t you have school this morning?’ Ignoring Randy’s snorting noise that was supposed to be laughter, Andrew sighed in relief when he saw swears scribbled out before Danny stopped writing.

“So, your plan is to distract him, instead?” Yes, well, it wasn’t a very bad plan, now was it? It had worked, after all! “He’ll ask you again eventually, you know. Especially when he doesn’t see an answer.”

“I know, I know, I just- I need to figure out the best way to answer, is all.” Standing up, Andrew chewed at his lip as he headed towards the kitchen. Maybe some baking would help clear his thoughts. At most, it wouldn’t hurt matters any more than they already were.

“You’re living off borrowed time, now, frérot.” See! That- That wasn’t helping. It was ominous, and worrying, and made Andrew wish he was still alive just so he could start breathing funny and distract Randy from his problem by making him think he had asthma or some such rot and- “Hey, hey, breathe, Andy, breathe.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, we don’t exactly need to breathe, anymore.” Andrew didn’t even complain as he was pushed towards a kitchen chair, instead just collapsing in it, propping his arms up on the table, and hiding his face.

He had spent years wishing and hoping and praying for a soulmate, and it led him to this. A fifteen-year-old boy who was scared too often, alone too much, and wanted to know his soulmate despite what his parents had told him. Danny has no idea that Andrew was a ghost. He probably thought Andrew was fifty - or at least near that age - and he still wanted to talk to him and spend time with him and get to know him.

“You know, there are some bonds that lead to platonic soulmates.” Randy’s voice was quiet, the man close enough to ruffle his hair. Andrew didn’t even bother to smack his hand away. “It doesn’t always have to be-”

“This is.” It was. Andrew knew it as well as he knew Danny knew it. They were meant for each other as soulmates often were. They- Well, Andrew wasn’t quite sure on Danny’s exact feelings at the moment, and his own were a little murky, but he knew it wouldn’t be long until he fell in love with his mate. “I want to tell him, Randy, but what if…”

What if he ran? What if he stopped writing again? Danny had always known silence, too. It wouldn’t hurt him to just stop writing and continue as he had been. Andrew… He had spent so long wishing and praying and if his mate just left out of nowhere- He hated it. He hated so much that he knew something like that would break him.

“Andy.” Feeling Randy’s hand on his shoulder, Andrew at least peeked his head up to see that Randy was looking serious for once. “Worrying yourself like this isn’t going to help either of you. I know… I know this is difficult, but wouldn’t it be better to let each other know the truth of everything at the start?”

“What if he runs away, though? Randy- We’re ghosts. We weren’t meant to have connections like this with the living.” It was so stupid. It was a trope that Andrew had never wanted. The dead in love with the living. Souls meant to be, but bodies that could never touch. Love for someone that they should never feel love to. Star-crossed lovers.

“What if he stays?” It… It wasn’t impossible. Oh, it was improbable, that was certain, but their situation- It didn’t have to be impossible. “You bought yourself some time for now, so take a breath, calm yourself down, and don’t fight back as I take over your kitchen.”

“Take over my- Randall! You are not taking over my kitchen!” Randy was already grinning and flying over to the fridge, Andrew loving more than hating how he was already laughing, and, right. He had bought himself some time. A little time was all he needed.

No matter what, he would find a way to fix things between him and Danny. Somehow.

“Danny… You’re in the library. You’re in the library during study hall- Are you studying during study hall?” Staring at his friends, Danny wasn’t sure if he had ever gone from surprise to annoyance as quickly as he had then. “Sam, punch me, I need to see if I’m- Ow.”

“You know, you’re usually supposed to be quiet when you’re in a library.” Was it petty that Danny hoped their school librarian would toss his friends out? It was probably petty, but dammit, it was earned pettiness. “And no, I’m not studying. Jesus, who do you think I am, Jazz?” The shared looks between Sam and Tucker were just insulting.

“Okay, you’re in the library during study hall and you’re not playing video games on the computer you’re using- It actually looks like you’re in a database- Hang on, what are you really doing?” And as usual, Sam’s judgement fell away to insatiable curiosity as she started pushing Danny and his chair out of the way.

“You know, this is why I have ghost powers.” Sam and her damn curiosity. “Not that you need to know, but I’m actually looking up people with the name Andrew Riter-”

“You’re looking for your soulmate.” That was a very judgmental tone, but considering Tucker was still rubbing at his side, Danny would rather not get punched. “And you’re not asking him where he lives because…”

“Because he won’t tell me? Because he figured out I’m fifteen and he’s not? Because I just told him why I’ve been avoiding him for all these years- Look, do you want a list? It’s a very long list- Okay, okay, sorry, no need for violence.”

“Oh for- Why do you boys never know how to communicate!” Sam grabbed his chair and pushed him back in front of the computer. “Why are you using a school computer to do this?”

“Because my parents and Jazz snoop. Look, soulmates typically live pretty close together, right? Only one out of every million end up living more than two or three hundred miles apart, so if I can find an Andrew Riter near Amity Park or close by, then I’ll find him. See? Easy.”

“Right, you just have to sort out one of the most common names ever. Easy as can be.” Huffing and nudging Sam out of the way, Danny went back to his very important research. “You know what I’m hearing? Stalking-”

“I am not stalking my soulmate.” That would require finding him, first. “Look, at least I’m not as bad as Tucker with his last few crushes-”

“Hey!” Taking the chokehold with grace, Danny squirmed only a little as he glared back up at Sam. “If I do this then I can at least find out what he looks like or how old he is or something. Sammy, he hasn’t even told me how old he is, yet. It was a battle to get his last name out of him!”

Glaring down at where his question had been ignored in favor of a short idea about star-crossed lovers or something, Danny spitefully drew a few stars over the idea. “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather wait and have him tell you this on his own terms? What if he finds out you’re looking for him and he doesn’t want that?”

“Dunno. Haven’t thought that far, yet.” Danny hit print as Tucker finally let him go, Sam crossing her arms and looking at him. It was the look of guilt that usually had Danny caving, but not this time! “Sammy, c’mon. What would you do if you were me?”

Sam could claim she was uncaring about soulmates all she wanted, but Danny saw her clutch at her sleeves and glance to Tucker too quick for the other to notice. “I still think this is a bad idea.”

“We tend to excel in bad ideas, though.” Tucker grinned before snatching up the printed papers and going through them quickly. “Right, make a list of what you know, and I’ll start coming up with an algorithm to cross out some of these.”

“Wait- You’re helping me?” Danny looked between the two, not even flinching as Sam whacked him with her sleeve. “But you just said-”

“If it’s important to you than it’s important to us.” Sam took half the papers, flipping through them herself. “Oh, wow, that’s a lot of results.”

“Over a thousand,” Danny groaned, looking back down to his arms and biting his lip at seeing his stars had been scribbled in with a blue pen. Underneath that were words appearing about star travel and space and pretty much everything Danny loved and dammit. He was weak. He was very, very weak. “I just… It’s not even that I want to know what he looks like, but I want to know- I want to know he’s out there.”

“What do you mean?” Seeing a librarian lurking nearby, Danny logged off his computer and grabbed his bag, Sam and Tucker falling into step with him near at once.

“I mean it’s like- When it’s just writing back and forth on our skin, it’s- I don’t know. It’s weird. It’s like if I look away from his words, then they were never there. I know the words are there, I can read them and see them and everything, but it’s…”

“The words don’t make up for the rest of it,” Tucker finished quietly, Danny raising an eyebrow when his gaze slid to Sam and then back to him and oh. That- Alright, Danny would definitely be coming back to that, later. “I’m sure he’ll tell you who he is eventually, but until then we’ll help you as much as we can.”

“You are stuck with us.” Sam linked their arms together, Danny trying not to laugh as Tucker did the exact same thing on his other side. “And until your soulmate shows up to sweep you off your feet and steal you away, we’ll be here for you.”

“You want to encourage the three-way rumors between us, don’t you?” The two both grinned in the exact same way and oh, come on, they had to know they were soulmates. Fuckers. “You’re awful.” Danny loved them. “You think we can do it, then? Track down my wayward soulmate?”

“Dude, after what we’ve been through, I think we can do anything. I mean, this is nothing compared to some of the stuff we’ve done.” That was true, but it still felt- It felt bigger than everything they had done before.

“We’ll sort this out, Danny,” Sam smiled, kissing his cheek and smirking when Tucker raised his eyebrows and- Oh- Oh, no.

“I swear to god if you two start some fight on who can show me the most affection, I will be very upset with you.” Escaping out of their grips, Danny stuck his tongue out as he ran along ahead to class, trying not to laugh at their loud complaints about ‘leaving them.’ Dorks.

For as great as his friends were, though, there was still the fact that he wanted to know. He still knew so little about Andrew and not enough ink in the world could tell them everything there was to know about each other.

Looking to his skin, he saw plenty of new words, along with a small, scribbled little ‘sorry’ written on the back of his wrist. Danny slowed to a stop, staring at the word and quietly groaning. “Why do you have to make this so much more difficult?” Now he was feeling guilty.

‘if you could only be trapped in one place for the rest of your life where would you be trapped?’ Distractions. Distractions would help and learning about Andrew was always a great distraction.

‘My library.’ Whoa, wait, what, Andrew had a library? ‘Would I be supplied with food for this hypothetical forever?’

‘probably’ Most likely. Danny stared at the reply for a few moments, biting his lip and he could try asking again, but… ‘you can only eat one food for the rest of your life what is it?’ Not yet. Andrew would try to avoid the question, still, so Danny would just work up to it. Besides, if Sam and Tucker pulled through and they got lucky, well.

Andrew wouldn’t be able to avoid Danny’s questions if they were face-to-face.

Staring at where Randy was sleeping on a pile of books, Andrew frowned and very slowly and carefully pulled out one of his knives. Seeing Randy tense, Andrew threw it in a smooth, quick motion, amused when Randy’s arm snapped up to catch it as the rest of him stayed still. “It’s no fun if you make it look so easy.”

“You know, most people don’t find it fun to throw knives at their sleeping brothers.” Randy tossed the knife back to him, yawning as he sat up and stretched in a way that gave a few loud cracks that had Andrew wincing. “Alright, alright, next pile.”

“I know you agreed to help me with my research, but perhaps you should actually sleep in a bed instead of on my books.” Plus, Andrew was starting to feel a little bad about recruiting Randy into his soulmate research binge when he was fresh off a job.

“And perhaps you should worry less. Done stating what we’re never going to do?” Randy stood up and his back gave another crack, Andrew letting out a small whine. That sounded like it hurt. “‘M fine, ‘m fine. Besides, I’m not leaving you on your own again. When I got back you had worked yourself up into an attack.”

“It wasn’t an attack. I was just… I was a touch worried about not finding the materials I needed.” Ignoring his brother’s look, Andrew cleared his throat as he gathered a few more books to him. Surprisingly, he didn’t have that many books on soulmates. It was rather disappointing.

“Uh-huh. How many books have you read since I last asked you that question?” Oh, aha, wow, Andrew very much did not want to answer that question. “You’re obsessing.”

“We’re ghosts, obsessing is what we do.” Snagging one of the books Randy had been sleeping on, Andrew sighed as he brushed it off. “There has to be a case like mine and Danny’s documented somewhere, surely.”

“Yeah. Definitely a case where an alive kid ends up being soulmates with a ghost who’s been dead longer than both of them were alive for.” That… When said like that… “Ah, jeez, c’mon, don’t get the depressed look-”

“I do not have a depressed look, thank you very much. I’m simply concerned on the fact we haven’t found anything even remotely similar to my situation.” They had been through dozens of books by now and there was still nothing even close to what they were going through.

“Hey, hey, Andy, c’mon.” Randy threw an arm around him and trapped him in place, Andrew huffing and upset over the fact that he didn’t even try to escape. “It’s possible that all of this will work out-”

“I know that.” That was the part that was terrifying him. “This could all work out and if we do this right, then we’ll both be happy, and that’s…” It was terrifying because he knew what happened when he held hope.

“Oh, Andy.” Randy pulled him into an actual hug and oh, god, it was that bad, wasn’t it? If Randy was actually hugging him, then he must have looked more pathetic than he thought. “We’re not used to good things happening to us, are we?”

“I believe an argument could be made that such a statement is very much an understatement.” Andrew finally sighed and leaned against Randy, feeling more than a little hopeless at the situation. “I don’t know what to do, Randy.”

“Well, the whole research thing is a good start.” Yes, he supposed, but there was still… Randy was right. A situation like this had never been seen or heard of. A ghost being soulmates with a teenager who was still alive? It… No matter how one looked at it, there was nothing but heartbreak, except… There was still a chance of it ending happily and it terrified him. “What do you need?”

“I need- I need a book- I need something to help me figure this out.” Knowledge had never let him down before. There had always been a book to help him out of a situation. Whether it was to distract him, give him inspiration, instruct him on what to do next, or even just to give him an escape, there was- Books and knowledge had never let him down before.

“Okay, we’re off to a good start on the whole book thing.” Randy finally let him go before pushing him down into a seat, Andrew huffing as a pile was pushed in front of him. “These should be the last ones, yeah?”

“The last ones with an academic approach to the subject, yes. I’ve yet to go through and pull the books that have a fable outlook.” Watching his brother stare at him, Andrew huffed. “I am not simplifying that when I know for a fact you understood it perfectly.”

“Damn. You were so much more fun before you caught on to the fact I was smart.” ‘Smart.’ Randy was certifiably a genius if Andrew could just get him to sit still long enough to take one of the tests. “Okay, we have the nonfiction checked off, but maybe check fiction? Kernel of truth in every story?”

“That was my thinking, yes.” Andrew flipped open the book closest to him, staring at the blurry words before he was staring at the cover again. “That was rude.”

“You haven’t slept and for as much as you want to complain that ghosts don’t need it, you do need sleep if you want to stay sane.”

“I’m not tired. My eyes just need to rest, is all.” This time the book was pulled away from him, Andrew collapsing back in his seat and looking up at Randy as pathetically as he could. “Randy.”

“Five hours, one meal, and three brownies and then I’ll let you get back to work.” Mm… No. Andrew didn’t like that. He would just keep reading- “Andy. Do you really think Danny would want you driving yourself crazy like this?”

“That was low.” That was just- That was just mean. “You’re awful.” Completely ignoring his brother’s grin, Andrew pushed himself up and oh, alright, yes, maybe a bit of rest would be good if he was seeing that many black spots. “There’s still at least a dozen books-”

“I’ll keep searching.” Oh. “Hey, at least I know your crazy filing system, and I know how to take notes you can actually read. Just go get rest and I’ll take care of this.”

“You’re so awful.” Aiming for a hug, Andrew slumped more than anything, amused when Randy easily supported him. “You’re supposed to be an annoying big brother who never shuts up and ruins my hopes and dreams and-”

Andrew’s words were drowned out by Randy’s laughter, the sound making him relax more than anything else. He may have had horrible luck when it came to the soulmate area of his life, but at least it was made up for with such a great brother.

As helpful as Randy was, though, he had been right when he said this was a unique situation. Something like this… Stories, maybe, but it was doubtful this had ever happened before. That begged the question of why did this happen?

Maybe his mate was as cursed as he was. Danny seemed like a sweet kid, but even through written word Andrew could tell that he was hiding more than he wanted to admit to. They all had secrets, but Andrew knew what the ones hidden in darkness looked like in daylight. Danny was hiding, yes, but Andrew… He was doing so much worse.

Danny had been honest and told him so much, and yet here Andrew was dodging questions and avoiding answering due to not wanting to hurt their feelings. It- Was there any way out of this that didn’t hurt Danny’s feelings?

Randy had been right back at the start of this mess. Andrew was going to hurt Danny and break his heart because, well… Andrew looked down to where patches of stars inked with pen were scribbled across his words. He didn’t need Randy’s look to know there was a hopeless look on his face, and, really.

He had fallen so quickly, hadn’t he?

#danny phantom #iambic prose #soulmate au #words on my skin au

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lets-love-sammy · 6 years

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I Have to Tell You Something, You’re an Idiot

Also on AO3

This is it, guys!!! It's not finished, and as you can see, I made into a chapter fic, cause I'm lazy!, ill be posting the already written chapters in the next few days, and hopefully, I can finish the rest in a reasonable time!! Knowing me it probably won't, but huzzah! Enjoy!!

Chapter 1: The Fallout

“Theo?” Slap, “Theo!” Slap. Liam was screaming at an unconscious Theo lying on the floor, unmoving, breathing labored, Liam keeps shaking him, trying to wake him, he raises his hand again to slap him, but his hand curls into a fist in the air.

2 days ago

“Come on, Baby Wolf, you know I didn’t mean it,” Theo says teasingly to a fuming Liam. “Yes, you did! You always do this!!” Liam yells, eyes flickering between his stormy blues and beta gold. “Do what?” Theo asks, confused, eyebrows furrowing. “Oh, don’t give me that shit, you know exactly what I mean,” Liam growls Theo stands there, extremely confused, trying to approach Liam, to calm him down, but Liam takes 2 steps back for every step he takes forward. “Liam, I have no idea what you’re talking about, ok, now can you please come here, you’re wolfing out,” Theo, reaching his hand beckoning Liam closer. Liam growls and flashes his eyes, “Li, you know that doesn’t scare me” Theo says, continuing his approach to Liam.

Liam keeps backing up, until he hits a wall, panting, eyes glowing a molten gold. Theo slowly approaches Liam, reaching out slowly taking Liam’s hand and unclenching, rubbing his thumbs across his knuckles, causing his claws to recede, Theo pulls Liam towards him, putting one hand on his lower back, the other at the nape of his neck, rubbing his thumb along any area he can reach, Liam drops his head to Theo’s shoulder, still panting. “What 3 things cannot be long hidden?” Theo whispers, Liam tries to stay angry but feels his anger dissipate at every intake of Theo’s scent he takes. Theo’s scent calms him instantly, replying “the sun, the moon, the truth,” breathing in Theo’s scent deeply, his nose in the crook of his neck. “That’s it, Baby Wolf, that’s it,” Theo says, feeling the tension slowly leaving Liam’s body.

“Don’t call me that,” Liam growls back half-heartedly. This was not the first time this had happened, hell it probably won’t be the last, it was an unspoken agreement, so to speak, between them, Theo calming down Liam when he would lose control. Liam never said anything after it happened. In fact, the first time it did, Liam wouldn’t look Theo in the eye for a week, it got better, slowly, eventually Liam was comfortable enough with Theo to just let him calm down in any way necessary. Though he did draw the line at anything that would cause blood, unless it was Theo’s, mostly broken noses though, nothing else. Liam never said anything, outside this quiet moment where they hold onto each other, they are always at each other’s throats, snarking at each other, but lately, all of that has been losing its heat. Theo gets drawn out of his thoughts by Liam pulling away, he looks down at him, even if there isn’t that much of a height difference between them, and smiles softly, Liam smiles back, but it quickly falls.

“I’m still mad at you,” Liam says quietly, eyes averting from Theo, Theo frowns, “Little Beta, I have no idea what you’re mad at?” Theo says, confusion evident on his face. Liam looks up at that, eyes filled with anger, his face flushing, “You Always do this Theo!! Every single time someone approaches me, you swoop in and make fun of me till they leave,” Liam yells. Theo’s eyes widen, understanding filling his eyes, truthfully, Theo did it because he was jealous, Liam was his, and he was just steering people away, he hadn’t realized Liam had taken notice.

“Li, I’m, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it upset you so much,” Theo says, trying to hide the reason for why he did it, but also apologize. “Upset? UPSET! YOU ALWAYS MAKE FUN OF ME, YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE OTHER PEOPLE! I GET IT, IM THE ONLY PERSON YOU HAVE, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BE MY ONLY PERSON TOO, I HAVE A LIFE, THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE YOU, THEO!” Liam yells, slapping his hand over his mouth quickly, horrified at what he said, eyes widening, filled with regret. Theo’s face goes through a plethora of emotions, anger, sadness, guilt, but it stills to a blank stony face.

“No, wait, Theo, I didn’t mean, I’m sorry,” Liam says quietly, voice filled with guilt, reaching out to grab Theo. “No, its fine, your right Liam, I’m sorry for taking up all your time,” he says, voice flat, eyes dead, while shrugging off Liam’s hand, the flicker of hurt that flashes in Liam’s eyes almost makes him reach back out, but he knows, that now isn’t the time to roll over, but stand and defy.

He turns to leave, picking up his keys wallet and phone. “WAIT!! Where are you going?” Liam asks, chasing after him, Theo reaches for the doorknob, “I’m leaving for a bit, get out of your hair,” he says, turned away from Liam, trying to keep a steady heartbeat and a calm voice. “But I don’t want you to…” Liam says, whining quietly. “Well, I need some fresh air, Liam, see you at school,” Theo says, with an air of finality, opening and slamming the front door, practically running to his truck, getting inside, to try and calm his breathing, and not cry. He puts his keys in the ignition and turns it, the engine roaring to life, puts it to drive, and slams on the gas pedal, trying to leave as fast as possible, fists clenching the steering wheel, knuckles turning white, vision getting blurry.

He furiously wipes his eyes, but it's futile because there are rivers of tears streaming down his face. He drives, picking a location subconsciously, and when he finally puts the car to park and looks up, he sees the rebuilt Hale house. It's pouring down outside his car, and he stays inside, conversation running through his mind, and he sobs, slamming his hand against the steering wheel multiple times, “STUPID, STUPID, STUPID” he yells, his head slumps, coming to rest on his hands on the steering wheel, crying softly. He stays there for lord knows how long, when he hears a knock at his window. He looks up and sees Derek, who quirks his eyebrow. Theo sighs, switches off his car, takes his keys, opens the door, and steps outside. Derek stares at him, “I’m, I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go” Theo says quietly. Derek grunts, and walks back inside, Theo stands there, unsure what to do. “You gonna wait there till it starts raining again?” Derek says from inside. Theo turns to look at the door, and rushes inside, right before the rain starts pouring down again.

He looks down at the ground, shivering, when a towel is handed to him he looks up at Derek, who smiles at him, he smiles back grateful and takes the towel. “Theo?” a voice from the kitchen asks, Theo freezes up, unsure what to do, but Derek puts a hand on his back, guiding him to the kitchen. Stiles is standing behind the stove, spoon in hand, wearing an apron that says, ‘Kiss the Cook’. Derek goes over to Stiles, and gives him a peck on the cheek, before moving to the table, and sitting down to read.

“Hey Stiles,” Theo says quietly, looking down at the floor, thinking about all the times him and Liam would mess around in the kitchen, flinging food around, and how many times he had wanted to kiss that beautiful idiot. Stiles turns off the stove taking off the apron, and approaches Theo, who is lost in thought and shivering, he reaches out and puts a hand on his arm. Theo gasps at the sudden contact, and looks up, trying to blink the tears from his eyes. “Come on, you’ll freeze in these clothes, I have some upstairs that might fit,” Stiles says, grabbing Theo by the arm, and dragging him upstairs. Derek chuckles quietly, before his face turns somber, and sends a text out to Scott, to go scope out the damage.

#teen wolf #fanfiction #fanfic #teen wolf fanfic #teen wolf fanfiction #liam dunbar #theo raeken #derek hale #stiles stilinski #corey bryant #mason hewitt #Brett Talbot #nolan holloway #Scott McCall #isaac lahey #angst #fluff #lots of love

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gretehart · 3 years

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Some Updates (Important- PLEASE READ)

Hey guys so this is a pretty long announcement, cause I realized through this whole month I havent been really active due to being super overwhelmed with a lot of stuff. But here's a good handful of updates and whats going on/will be going on in the future;

-New Job???? As you guys may know, I've been doing training for a contracting job with a public housing authority. I've been doing training all week for the past 2 weeks now, and it will be continuing for at LEAST next week and ongoing. I honestly have no idea what the schedule is really looking like, but from what I'm gathering, I'll be working remotely (hopefully) but the regular 8-5 M-F schedule so ALTHOUGH theres a good chance I'll be working from home, I will still be busy working and learning and all that. I'm honestly immensely nervous about this job still, as there is a LOT to take in for this job... But I'm trying my best regardless and hoping things go smoothly. I'll of course keep you guys updated on it, but Im just basically saying that I will probably be less active in artwork & streams and such because of this. We will see how it goes

-Hiatus in January?? So speaking of being active, I realized that these recent months have been... well, Insanely Overwhelming, to say the least. I've been overworking myself lately between artwork, this job, and many other things going on, and my mentality is... Not Good. Ive been honestly kicking myself over and over again about this, but I think this will be the best bet for the time being until I can get myself put together a little bit more. So starting in January, I think I'll be taking a temporary break from drawing and such for the month. AT THE VERY LEAST, not taking in any new commissions or requests. This way I can 1) recuperate and gather myself a bit, perhaps refund those who commissioned me and dont want to wait anymore, work around owed rewards and requests, etc. and 2) focus on this job a little bit better with less on my mind over other stuff. I think starting 2021 with a bit of a break for myself would be a good idea, and I *greatly* apologize for those still waiting on artworks from me. Honestly, I will probably still be working on art through the hiatus, as I am addicted to drawing in general gjshdgjhsjdghsg BUT- I am going to (try) not to make it my main focus for the month. Now what this means is, I will be closing commissions of course, But I am also trying to figure out what to do for Patreon Rewards for that month (I would just pause the pledge for January, but Unfortunately I am not yet financially stable enough to go without it). I may do a one-time thing like I did some months ago, but we will see. And yes, this also means I will not be hosting any freebie streams for January (unless I decide otherwise gjshdgjhsjgh)I'll let you guys know what I decide in the next coming weeks

-Holiday Stream??? The mention of freebie streams does remind me that I was *SUPPOSED* to do sketch streams this month, but I've been so out of it lately I didnt even realize how close 2021 was already. So Unfortunately no freebie sketch streams - *BUT* I *DO* plan to still host the annual Holiday stream!The stream will be next weekend, right after Christmas Day, on the 26th and 27th, all day on Picarto (Unless something comes up of course) I'll make a post about that with more details later on, but just to give you all a heads up on that!

Those are the three main things I wanted to talk about, but theres a handful of other smaller things I wanted to at least mention, including: - Im taking a break this weekend to celebrate my 5-year anniversary with my girlfriend Nox! We'll be gaming together this weekend and I may even host some game streams to showcase us being stupid together <3 - Next week I'll be posting artworks that I finished but never shared yet, so be prepared for those (That also includes some adoptable designs that Im working on and even collabing on some with friends! Ill be posting those when i can <3 ) - I will be changing one of the Patreon Tiers ; specifically the $5 tiers. Only making a minor change to it to remove the Pixel GIF rewards, as after lots of contemplation and feedback, I decided the current rewards of monthly stream access + such is enough for that tier. This will be in effect in January as well If there are any other updates or things I need to bring up, I will be sure to let you guys know.Otherwise yall stay safe and take it easy the rest of this year <3

#greteh #gretehart #december 2020 #updates #important #announcement

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rosenmarille · 7 years

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rosenmarille’s embroidery tutorial

hey anon you made my entire week and i love you

Let me preface this by saying that I’m in no way an expert and I’ve literally only been doing this for less than a month, so most of what I do is making it up as I go along. hopefully you find my tips helpful though!! <3

I wasnt sure which part you wanted to know about so i made a rundown of everything from start to end

1) List of things you’ll need:

Embroidery frame (I just went to the nearest crafts store and got them in two sizes. Theyre quite cheap and sometimes also come in plastic or different shapes)

Fabric (the less stretchy the better, though if youre planning to decorate clothing I think it really depends on how determined you are. what ive got here is some leftover polyester fabric from cosplay and other sewing projects. you can even sew different pieces together if one isnt big enough for the frame but in that case you need to iron the sewed piece flat or else it will be very difficult to keep straight and neat)

Embroidery yarn (see pic) (theres two types, and ive only used pearl yarn (top) so far but the other one allows for more precision since you can pick how many strands of yarn you need)

Needle (see pic) (properly pointy, not like the crappy one above. I mainly use that for crochet things because it actually bends and that’s NOT what you want here)

Scissors and a pencil

2) Sketch: Pick an image of what you want to do. I’ve found that at first, practicing with basic shapes and colours is a lot easier to get used to the whole thing, it helps give you a feel of how the yarn ends up looking stitched to the fabric. So far I almost only did screenshots, and I didn’t have to draw something up myself. In mobs case, I based it off a doodle I did in class and added a little colour to it

3) Pick fabric and yarn: That’s mainly up to you, depends on what youre going for, but as a fair warning, very light fabric colours will show the stitches and leftover yarn from behind, so you need to tuck them behind the main body of your embroidery later on

4) Apply to fabric: 2 ways, both pretty much self explanatory, only heres where the stretchiness of the fabric comes into play. As you can see ive developed a fool proof technique, ive had tape stuck to the top of my laptop for weeks now, im not about to waste it? (use more than one tape, this is an old pic i took because the concept was hilarious in the moment) Pro tip: don’t draw your sketch on paper advertising dnd game sets because youre gonna have a hard time seeing the pattern through everything and youll curse yourself for doing that instead of paying attention in class Pro tip 2: dark fabrics demand a white colour pencil, you literally wont be able to see anything else

5) Stitches: heres a LINK to the page I use to find all the different stitches I could possibly use. Practice makes perfect, i spent about two hours trying each of these out on an irrelevant piece of fabric to see how theyd work and how difficult they are, and still use that bit as ref to consider how a stitch would look on my current piece. Of these, ive only used about three in my finished broids, since theyre mostly for decorative things I think. Don’t let that stop you though, get creative and use the things im too lazy to incorporate!! (ill be using these terms for the rest of the tutorial, so if you dont know a word its probably in there)

6) Outlines/shading: Start by outlining your sketch with a few backstitches to get a feel for where everything needs to be. If theres shading then itd be useful to do those lines in the other colour already, or youre going to have to fix all that later and itll be a huge pain and make you want to stop altogether. It happens

Im not sure if that’s how its supposed to work but I fill in the shades first, it gives me a good sense of what direction the main colour stitches need to go to make it look dynamic.

7) Fill in mains: This is where all those handy dandy stitches from that library probably wont help you too much if you want to do something relatively simple. Ive only used normal satin stitches to fill in colour so far, though what the link doesn’t mention is that it wastes a shitton of yarn. Yarn is expensive, so what you can do is come up for point 3 not back next to 1 but instead next to 2. Warning: that does warp the way the yarn lies though, so use that one accordingly (for example: I do Not use it when doing small delicate places, or things that need to be detailed in general)

Mob was fairly simple as far as that went since i didnt add a lot of pattern, but ritsu is a little more complicated. Like i said earlier, adding shade before the main colour helps because now i know where the folds in his clothes are and how the fabric would bend to accommodate it.

8) Add details (like faces!):

Again, here I cant tell you exactly how you need to stitch to get everything looking good, just try to follow the way a face has its dynamics. Is it a long face, make lots of long vertical stitches, is it a round one, try to stick to the edges (but don’t spiral)

Facial features are a little more difficult because its hard to make a round nub or dots for pupils on something very small but its better to try 5 times and get it right the 6th instead of leaving the 1st try (i took ritsus entire face apart at least 3 times and t b q h i still think it doesnt look good but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

9) Background: Get real fancy on that shit, heres where you can try out those cool rose shaped stitches from up there in the link, go wild lol

10) Lastly: PATIENCE

I cant stress this enough, this WILL take a loooot of time, the first ritsu I did took me a literal week, while the second one took me roughly four hours in total (and that was a rather simple design).

Accept the fact that it wont look as good as you imagined it. That may sound harsh but for me that’s been my main issue, imagining how a string would lie exactly and then looking on in disgust when that doesn’t work out. You’re not drawing, the medium doesn’t exactly translate, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Try to figure out what methods work best for embroidery exclusively.

Don’t be afraid to undo, be careful about it though. I use those big scissors and it’s a bad idea, don’t do that. Unpicking from the back to save the yarn also works but it gets difficult (and at some point impossible) once the strands start getting woven together on their own

And there you have it, a finished piece of embroidery!!

You can now either hang it up in its frame and cut away the excess fabric at the sides or tie it around a piece of cardboard like so. it’s a little hard to get right at first but practice amiright

I hope i could be of help!! if you have any more questions feel free to come to my ask anytime!! ^^ <33

#embroidery #pari stickt #tutorial #i still cant believe someone actually asked me to do this #anon who are you i want to hug you omg #also i hope you see this??? id have tagged you :0

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

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You're Lovely - PROLOGUE

Camila raps.

Lauren naps.

Became infatuated with your whole appearance So much that when I talk to you you never hear it So much that likes on your Instagram make you happy But I love you in person, made that the clearest I know I’m busy, but not too busy for you If I set the table I always set it for two And if I light a candle I’m trying to set the mood And if I make a promise I’m always seeing it through but You obsessed with the wrong things I know we fight but think you fighting for the wrong team Its always on me Its always something that I did or something I didn’t do I feel like I’m in the wrong league Cuz if I ball then we ball together But if I fall then we fall together But now its fuck you’s, a bunch of whatevers If you was cold I wouldn’t even give you my sweater

Mama don’t like you, she likes everyone And I never like to admit that I was wrong And I’ve been so caught up in my job Didn’t see what’s going on But now I know I’m better sleeping on my own Cuz if you like the way you look that much Then baby you should go and fuck yourself And if you think that I’m still holding on to something You should go and fuck yourself

I don’t need no more fights Long nights in different rooms You started problems with fam, now we got issues too I was blinded by the love cuz I was into you whi-

“HAZEL!”

“IT WASN’T ME!.”

“YOU WROTE YOUR INITIALS ON THE WALL!.”

“….OKAY MAYBE THAT WAS ME.”

Camila Cabello sighed hearing the back and forth banter between her wife and her daughter as they screamed at the top of their lungs. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence, Hazel manages to find something devious to explore every chance she get’s, the house being her own personal experimental loft for new creation’s and permanently keeping Lauren’s heart rate above the norm.

The brown eyed girl chuckled to herself softly knowing Lauren secretly loved how spontaneously creative thier daughter was, she only wished Hazel could be creative on another wall that didnt involve the pale skin girl having to scrub the remain’s off for the next two hour’s.

Standing up, Camila placed her headphone’s on the table, rubbing her tired eye’s from staring at the computer screen for multiple hour’s straight. She refused to wear glasses though, claiming that ‘they make me look old' and 'I’m way too hot to be that old yet’.

She made her way downstairs, checking in on little Dylan as she passed and was amazed at the fact he could sleep through all the noise that goes on in this house.

“Mummy it looked cool at the time” Hazel’s voice echoed through the house, Camila could practically see the pout forming on her face as she made her way toward’s the two voice’s.

“Yes, so do drug’s until it’s too late and you get hooked resulting in ruining your life forever!”

“Mummy what do drug’s have to do with drawing?” the raven haired girl asked confused.

“What does drawing have to do with drug’s?” Lauren retaliated.

Camila stayed silent, aside from the muffled laugh here and there, watching both Lauren and Hazel was alway’s an entertainment. She watched as Hazle’s face dropped into even more confusion, the eight year old trying to piece together how her mother or if her mother was making any sense at all.

“Uh…what?"

Lauren smirked loving how confused her baby girl was, if they were ever in a argument or debate, Lauren would simply confuse the child, ultimately forcing her to victory.

I married a child. A literal child.

The brown eyed girl decided now was a good time to make her precense known. Walking further into the room, Camila couldn’t help but let out an obnoxious laugh at the look on her daughter’s face.

"Mummy! You alway’s do this, why can’t you ever just be cool for like, once.” She groaned face palming her little forehead.

Lauren gasped in offense, placing her hand over her heart and staring wide eyed at her daughter.

“I am cool!"

"Mmh okay sure mummy.” Hazel sarcastically agreed.

Looking around, Lauren spaced on another argumental fact she could throw out to trick her daughter, she was Lauren Jauregui she didn’t just lose in argument’s. Instead, her green eye’s landed on Hazel’s skateboard that was left in the hallway.

The older pale skin girl already knew this would be a bad idea, but she was determined to show her daughter that she was most certainly cool.

“Fine. Ill just show you how cool i am.” She smirked.

Both Hazel and Camila looked at Lauren with curiosity written all over their face. They watched as Lauren shuffled over to the hall before coming back with a bright pink skateboard in her hand.

Camila’s jaw dropped as soon as she figured out her wife’s plan.

“Baby…how about we not do what i think you’re gonna do and just go watch a movie yeah?”

Green eyes met brown, Camila could already see the determination in her Wife’s orbs. She sighed, knowing how stubborn Lauren could be once she set her mind to something.

“No, camz trust me I’ll be fine, Chris and i used to skate down the street all the time.” Lauren reassured.

“Lauren im serious, i love you to death but i will not deal with a paraplegic wife! Do you know how much our sex drive would go down? Poof! Out the window just like our marriage.”

Lauren started at her wife, trying to scope out any signs that she was joking. She wasn’t surprised once she found none knowing how dramatic Camila liked to be.

“Baby chill, i got this” Lauren smiled. Facing her daughter who gave her a big thumbs up.

“The only thing you got is a hospital bill coming.” Camila grumbled.

The raven haired girl walked over to the top of the hallway, it was vastly long so she wouldn’t run out of space anytime soon. Lauren placed the board beneath her feet, puffing out and placed herself on the board.

Hazel and Camila watched, not really sure what to expect but possibly knowing it wouldn’t be good.

Lauren stood, ready to prove her family wrong, and that she was cool. Yet luck had never been on Lauren’s side. Venus, the family dog padded out wondering what all the commotion was about, searching for something interesting when his eye’s landed on a play tug rope.

Getting excited at the prospect of playing, Venus lept forward catching the rope in his teeth pulling on it gently waiting for it to come loose so he could then scurry away with it in the opposite direction.

Lauren looked down to see the fluffy brown animal sniffing around the bottom of the skateboard, his big head rubbing against Lauren’s pant leg, just as she was about to scold him to move, the skateboard was tugged forward and Lauren was thrown in the air. Gasping when the board was ripped away from her.

The green eyed girl came down with a thud, landing on her back.

Lauren covered her face with her hand’s, she hasn’t been this embarrassed since the time she accidently farted while Camila was going down on her one night.

…… A red faced Lauren was currently seated in the bathroom, her skin was hot from embarrassment and the towel wrapped around her shoulder’s didn’t make her feel any less exposed.

In all her 20 year’s of life, Lauren has never wanted the ground to open up and swallow her more than in this moment. She prayed that Camila would leave it alone, hopefully go to sleep giving Lauren a chance to escape the situation.

fuck Lauren, why do you alway’s have to be the most awkward person to walk this earth.

“Baby…?”

Hearing Camila’s voice echoing through the door only caused Lauren to squeeze her eye’s tightly shut. Despretaly wanting the aching feeling in her chest to dissappear.

“Baby..can you please open up.” The soft voice came again.

Lauren released a shaky breath, standing up and cracking the door open an inch. Just enough for Camila to see a small portion of pale skin.

“Um..yes?" Lauren croaked.

Camila watched her girlfriend with sad eye’s, seeing Lauren upset or insecure alway’s made her hurt.

"Baby come out..i promise it’s okay. You have nothing to be embarrassed about” Camila smiled reassuringly.

With eye’s trained to the floor, the glum girl opened the door revealing her full self.

“Hey” the brown eyed girl gently lifted Lauren’s chin. “I love you. Okay? I love all of you, i don’t care if you do something that’s considered 'gross’, it’s not a big deal. Please dont be insecure, you’re too beautiful to cry.”

Lauren didnt think it was possible to fall harder. shit, was she wrong.

…….

Lauren released a breath, her spine tingling with every breath she took.

Okay yeah….that fucking hurt.

The room went deadly quiet, Hazel was staring blank faced at her mother while Camila was Laughing so hard, no sound was escaping her mouth.

Not bothering to look up, Lauren could already sense what her wife’s face was displaying. “Don’t. Say a word.”

Causing Camila to burst.

AN The beginning. 🙌 Wattpad cxs_____

#UPDATE #series #AU #camren #romance fluff #submission #youre lovely

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skiasurveys · 4 years

Text

#397

let’s start off with some basics. ayyyye. Okay What’s your name? Jen but i go by skia How old are you? 23 What’s your hair and eye color? Light brown hair and dark brown eyes How tall are you? 5′1 What’s your relationship status? Taken

Alright, enough of that. Let’s move on to the random shit.

What’s your favorite song? right now is Let me Live by Queen What does that song mean? What is the message behind it? Its about..from what i take, giving your all to someone who doesnt care, but takes it all. Givers vs takers. Is it your favorite because you relate to it, or do you just like the beat? Relate and i just love Queen Have any pets? If so, what are they and what’s their names? 2 cats that are siamese named Archer and Misty Have you ever met your idol? My idol is dead. If so, were they nice or were they kind of an ass? What’s your favorite method of gaming? (PC, Xbox, Playstation, etc) Playstation or Nintendo Switch or older versions like Gamecube or N64 but those are so old lmao If you’re in college, what’s your major and why did you pick it? I am currently taking Office admin but thats just cus i needed to take something because I am good at this. I am going for social work next year hopefully. How’re you doing today? Really fucking anxious.

What color are your bedroom walls? Beige, I wish i could paint them but im renting. Describe your favorite shirt. I have a few but i really like my beatles tshirt just cus i can do a lot with it for style lol Use this space to tell someone off. What’s your view on smart watches? Cool or a waste of money? Waste a money. I understand apple watches cus you can get text messages..but still a waste What is one poster that you have hanging on your bedroom wall of? I dont have posters but I have art. How many times have you moved in your life? 4 times.

If you moved, do you like where you are now better than where you were? I like being on my own now but I like my moms house. What’s your favorite color and why? anything pastel because theyre nice to look at.

Do you have a calendar? If so, what’s the theme? Not right now. Just use my phone. Have any famous person’s autographs? no Do you draw well? i think i do. I love drawing, i can improve for sure but from where i came from? way better. What type of cell phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8. Should you be doing anything else right now or are you just bored? Nothing, maybe laundry but its like 9:30 PM so nah hahah If you’re in school/college, what’s your favorite subject and why? Currently not taking any courses atm. Are you a cat or a dog person? Why? cats. i like dogs but cats are cooler and dog ppl are annoying as fuck lol Tell me about the plot of your favorite book. Its in perspective of a dog watching his owner go through traumas (like death and losing custody of his child etc). Its really cute and interesting concept. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I have perfect vision. What do you think about horror movies? some are good or so bad.

If you love them (I do), what’s your favorite? i dont care for them so...

Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I need to start shopping once i get paid lol Do you do Black Friday shopping or wait for Cyber Monday? I do it online maybe but the sales arent usually that crazy. Have any mental illnesses? I have depression and a few anxiety disorders What’s your favorite word and why? Ive never rly had one. What is the most expensive thing you own, and what is it? My Laptop maybe. Did you buy that item yourself? No, my boyfriend bought it for me for my bday

Where do you work and what is your postion? Too personal lol How often do you cuss? Toooo much. sometimes i just swear and i am like...chill

What type of car do you drive, if any? 2007 Pontiac G5 Are you happy with it? If no, what’s your dream car? She does well and takes me where i need and is reliable but I want a new one for sure, I want a Nissan Juke lol Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Which ones? I have a lot. Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest, Facebook, snapchat...etc What is your favorite genre of music? I like all kinds, really. Does your family have holiday traditions? If so, what are they? we used to. If you’re in a relationship, are you happy with it? Yes. How long have you been with your significant other? 3 years and 7 months..damn. Do you like psychology? I do! I love the brain and how it works and how it can really fuck with you. What is something your state is popularly known for? I live in canada buuuuut, rednecks.

Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? Sometimes i do. Do you watch sports or do you think they’re overrated? I dont watch them.. What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? hmmm Youtubers lol Do you straighten your hair? Never Ever dyed your hair a color that isn’t natural? (blue, pink, etc) I did a little bit of purple but not full head. How’s your relationship with your parents? its super healthy and i am so thankful for that. I can tell my mom anything and i know shes there for me. My dad died when I was a teenager but we were also very close too. Do you still live with them or do you have your own house? Own apartment. What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? BILLS. Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? N/a Ever done drugs? weed and shrooms.

Tell me one of your worst habits. Nail biting. What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? Im not sure lol If you game, what type of headset do you use? I hardly use a headset but I wish I could afford razor.

What type of computer do you own, and do you like it? Acer Chromebook. What’s the thing that annoys you the most? Bad drivers. What brand of TV do you have? Haier or something Are you excited for Christmas? (It’s December 1st today when I made this) Yeeees but whatever Tell me about your favorite vacation you’ve taken. Back in 2015 I went to Disneyland and it was really exciting because ive been wanting to go there since I was a child. I had a lot of fun.

Tell me something cool about yourself. I have no idea, honestly. Did/do you get good grades in school/college? I try my hardest and sometimes I just dont well What’s your ringtone on your phone? Just the basic one. What’s your favorite store to shop in? Depends on my mood. I like American Eagle If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy and why? Pay off student loans, pay back my mom and I would for sure get myself a house. How long have you had a Bzoink account? I have had one for over a year now? But i dont hardly use it anymore because the surveys there are SO dated and boring questions.

Ever been to Field of Screams? If so, what’s your favorite attraction? Never even heard of that Do you own a Polaroid camera? not a real one. Do you have hardwood floor in your room or carpet? Carpet It’s a Saturday night, what are you typically doing? Either working, or cleaning lol Do you have a lot of friends or do you not have any at all? I dont have many but tbh I keep my circle tight. What’s your all time favorite movie and why? The Lion King. I just love disney movies. I grew up with it

How many blankets do you sleep with at night? 2 blankets and more if i need. What’s the last TV show you watched? Did you enjoy it? This is Us and yes. Do you prefer cable TV or do you use Netflix? Netflix or any streaming tbh. Cable is so old. What is your dream job and why? Being an artist tbh. I just wanna create art Do you think you would be a good therapist? Maybe..but i am too mentally fucked up. What’s your favorite brand of clothing? again, it depends. I like american eagle, garage and H&M.

Did you like this survey? I did! some are boring and this one wasnt. lol

#Survey #Dec 2nd #I might start dating theswe #this was good

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survivorinternational · 5 years

Text

Episode 1 - "You are an evil psychopath... but I kinda dig it." - Veni

STEPHENS BACK

I love love how these tribes are split up but I’m kind of nervous about playing with people I’ve played other things with before! There was only one person I didn’t already have added and that is Daniel. I’m just going to try to stay on everyone’s good side and maybe try to get close with everyone? I think that we are going to have a strong tribe so that’s a plus!

Israel is not in Europe

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So since this is "International" I decided to call everyone in our tribe be either their home country or town. So Clash is Richmond. Vilma is Oulu. Ginger is Israel. Allan is Scotland. I have yet to talk to Latvia but they appear as a very busy person. So it's Day 2 right now and I have just woken up. Me and Oulu stayed up 'till 6 AM last night just talking and chilling. I really like her so I hope we can make it far. I also like Richmond because that is a cool name so we established a 3-person group. Richmond insists on repeating F3 every 5 minutes which is pretty scary but I'll just disregard it for now. I am enjoying the diversity of our cast, proud to be a European seeing as the other tribes are basically just Australia and just USA. Right now I'll try to put some work into this flag I guess since nobody has taken initiative.

So its off to a relatively good start, I’ve talked with 3 other tribe members and they seem pretty cool, i got a good rapport with Tyler and Jacob especially. They also had good input into the challenge to so, yay. The other to however haven’t spoken, and we can’t blame time zones cause their like, at most an hour seperate. Be careful Sluggyg and Dylan, we lose a challenge we’ll be looking at you. I’m not gonna pm them first though, trying not to come off too needy yet, I’ll give at least some pretense of not being absolutely bonkers.

Good lookin. Nah jk. So I have to admit I was a late bloomer in terms of speaking in the group chat and I conveniently missed the people I didn't know - Tyler, Dean. I have a history with Jacob and I know Michael from a previous community so I have hit the ground running with the idea of sticking together but nothings too solidified yet so hopefully in a bit I'll find myself in a majority! The only thing Stephen said to me so far is "heyo" and "ya I teach english", so..

Ok so Hi. I hate u all why am i here. Im nervous cause im out here trying not ti be the first boot and have to have my dog comfort me while i cry to sleep. Literally shaking in slides. Everyones a bit of a hoot, all male tribe! Wowee. Just going be pals with all these kiddies. Although the flag they made is literal trash, ill be nice :)

hey boys time for my first confession that will be longer than it should be and not entertaining in the slightest so the cast reveal was interesting! i wasn’t expecting many familiar faces at all, maybe like one or two people i sort of know of. but when i saw ruthie and randy, i was honestly relieved. ruthie and i have always been good allies together in games and i love her a lot. she’s loyal and funny and smart. just overall wonderful person to play with and i’m really happy to have her here. also, seeing randy was so good too. honestly i know he has a ~rEp~ for being not the greatest, but i don’t particularly care. i feel like we’re going to get along really well in this game. the only thing that annoys me is that him talking to me at first was all like, “oh emily you’re so a good player i love you please don’t vote me out get me to merge xo” like he was purposefully inflating my ego because....... people generally think i have a big ego. and a year ago, yeah i definitely did. that’s why i lost both of my last two main season games. my ego got in the way and i got too confident, too cutthroat, too rude, too self absorbed. and so much has happened in my life, i’ve been taken down a few notches and the last thing i want is for people to think i’m a narcissist. i’ve worked on myself a lot and it’s just sad to see people treating me like this like they think it’ll guarantee me wanting to work with them. sigh. anyway, continuing with the other people: my skype app will NOT give me notifications when daniel or patrick send me messages and it’s frustrating me high key because they’ll respond two minutes after i send a message and i won’t see it for hours, even if i check the chat. new skype is ruining my social game yeah! but in general pat and daniel seem cool. only person i’m weary of is liana! i didn’t realize at first, but she’s married to chips who....... hates me LMAO! i’ve never played a game with her so here’s to hoping she doesn’t have an idea of me in her head already. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ other tribe comments: i saw vilma in a game for the first time like well over a year ago and was like i am in LOVE with her and i want to MARRY her. she’s so pretty and seems so funny and when we’re on the same tribe we WILL be best friends and if we’re not i’m THROWING HANDS!!! it has to happen. has to! i don’t think i recognizes literally anyone else? everyone is pretty much unfamiliar to me. so how i’m feeling right now: randy is really good at making flags! and confident that we’ll pull through with reward tbh. like he’s very talented. i’m gonna put together a makeshift flag too just in case it’s ugly and also to show that i’m active and here and contributing, but i doubt it’s going to be bad. and also it’s only reward! if we don’t win, i don’t mind it that much. my fear is that we end up going to tribal the first round! i don’t know how strong this tribe is in terms of challenges. i don’t know anything about liana, daniel, or patrick. i don’t remember anything about randy or ruthie when it comes to challenges either. so we’ll have to see! daniel told me he played on discord so he’s probably used to more text based challenges or flash games, which is very helpful because i’m bad at both. but from my experience, typical tumblr challenges are far different from typical discord challenges. yeah. also, randy and i shared our idol guesses and both found nothing. i went around camp -> shelter -> on top -> nothing and he went around camp -> treemail -> (uhhh something i already forgot lol) -> nothing. i’m gonna share mine with him every round as like a trust thing. idk if he’ll tell me the truth but i’ll tell him the truth! idc honestly! :p okay end of this long confession i hope you had fun reading if you read this far give me an idol clue xoxo emily (dennis remember in mongolia when i told you the exile idol was under a girl’s name) (i’m sorry)

So the reward challenge is a flag making challenge. I hate a lot of the things, but I am taking a step back since I have been told I can be controlling in the tribe stages when it comes to challenges. So I want to see how well the tribe performs without me stepping in.

Day one thoughs: Yes!!! A tribe full of people with similar time zones. Jacob and Sluggy are here, nice. UHC alliance has already been suggested... not sure how to feel. Talked to all other tribe members. Everyone seems nice... dont quite trust Tyler yet... seems shifty Reward challenge: Not a fan of original design. Spent a bit of time working on another design... which i had more time to make it better. Seems to be good enough, will see what tribe says. Idol search round one: nothing

me: so yeah just send me your image so I can do all the work and make the flag everyone: (by the way these confessionals will be over the top and not express my true true feelings, i.e. I'm exaggerating everything)

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The plan is to kill people with kindness! I really don't plan on winning but i'd love to if I am able to. I just hope I stay long enough to talk to most. My two closest friends are Richmond and Oulu. Oulu is super nice and we talk often so that is cool ----------

Oh lord I am actually exuding so much time in this survivor good thing it is summer geez

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Ginger spoiled 2 survivor seasons in the same message I am crying :(

So i finally got to talk to everyone on the tribe. Tyler seems rlly friendly and talkative which kinda draws me towards him. Stephen is more analytical and observant... Dean is just the passive, looks on and watches kinda guy. Both Stephen and Dean want to be or are writers so. One thing great about working with Stephen would be someone people target as a strategic threat instead of me - but I don't know if I'll be able to work well with him atm...

Okay I was gonna wait until after the immunity challenge to do my first confessional but I am DYING. So Veni is making our flag (which honestly I'm not too sure about but I'm awful at art so I can't really say anything) and he asks for pictures to use in it. So I send him a picture of me sitting on a throne, which I took at a bar near me. and this bitch..... Goes "It's like ghetto Game of Thrones, I love it!" BITCH!? Ghetto? Honestly this guy needs to take it down a notch because he's trying way too hard to take control of the reward challenge and is being super bossy and I think people aren't gonna take that for much longer.

As for the first day of this season I’m loving it so far. Loving the activity and positivity in our tribe and people here are very friendly. Already have started conversation with Clash, Vilma and Ginger. Trying to develop early relationships that will be necessary for the rest of the game. Just need to show activity in tribe chat so my tribe mates not see me as an inactive player because inactive players are usually the first one out.

So we won the reward challenge and we get a firemaking kit, and inside there's an immunity idol clue. Jacob and Stephen both get it, and Jacob told me it was hidden at the beach. I have no clue if he is lying or not, but if he isn't it means God was right to tell me yesterday that it is at the beach. Now i just need to be the first one to search the next time around.

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So talking with Stephen, he seems to say the word "snazzy" a lot, so I've nocknemaed

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Oops i didn't finish...I nicknamed him "snazzy Stephen". What's Snazzy Stephen gonna call snazzy today!?

So we won the reward challenge! Great. The morale seems fairly high amongst our tribe. I've had conversations with pretty much everyone in some way. No talk of strategy or alliances have begun, from what I'm aware. I hope we win this challenge, because I feel good about this tribe.

I mean, can I not flop this first challenge ? I feel like this tribe is a very good mix of people, chemistry is there so now we just need not to be total failures ! hehe

After all the bonding I love this tribe, Dean is a lot more reserved than the rest of the tribe and hasn't approached me yet, but everyone else has talked. I've got a nice alliance with Michael and Sluggy, as well as some trust with Tyler and Stephen. After Michael won us the firemaking challenge I found the idol clue. Once everyone has used their firemaking advantage, I'll decide who I share the clue with. So far I have told Sluggy and then Stephen got the clue. All Giraffes Deserve Kisses.

Usually I wouldn’t mind going to the first tribal, but with 6 people all it takes is one misstep to be the target, and I don’t want to risk that. That being said if it does come down to that i think Jacob, Tyler and I will stick together, all we need is one more than that.

looking over the whole cast, I realised I know Dani & Sluggy from other survivors that's cool

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I got 30 point something seconds like 3 times I hate fairdyne

So basically I've talking quite a bit with Emily and Randy, they're great people. Overall people are super nice, it's awesome! The Ala Mai flag winning is bullshit though what kind of judges were those? I'd have been fine with Faatasi winning, that's a nice flag, but Ala Mai's was ugly af sorry bros

So, Emily and I are working together to try to find the idol! Which is exciting, hopefully one of us will find it. If I do I’m pretty sure I’ll tell her because it will show that I trust her?!! I talk to her and Randy the most on our tribe and I really don’t know where I stand with everyone else

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i got a big fat 0 for the team but I’m glad our tribe won! Everyone else did great. Hopefully no one points out how weak I was in the challenge. I’m going to savannah for the night tomorrow so I’m glad not to worry about tribal council while I’m out of town! Yay for not being the first boot!

ok see I am here to win but I got ginger on my tribe!! we love us a good ol rival so yeah even though he's acting fake and said he wants work with me I can't trust him with that I have built a good connection with Veni and Vilma and hope they will stay loyal as well. I am worried about the tribal as my score was bad but lets hope for the best

Right. So we’ve just won the immunity challenge but all the rats on my team did well so it doesn’t give us an easy target for any upcoming tribals. I got some T from Michael letting me know that both Jacob and Dean found the clue to the hidden immunity idol and they told him but not me. First off rude considering I told Jacob I’d tell him if I found it. I’m in an uncomfortable situation already on this tribe, I feel like i don’t have as strong of connections as everyone else and it’s scaring me. All I need is two friends to guarantee my safety and it’s looking like those friends will be Michael and The kid from Singapore (don’t remember his name oops). This season feels different, I usually feel powerful but Rn I feel like I’m having to push to navigate my way into relationships with people. Also some of these guys on my drive give off the arrogant and cocky vibe and I hate it.

Only one in my tribe to win a challenge, got the r/ultrahardcore alliance, everyone knows the idol clue because Michael got looser lips than Mia Khalifa.

I *think* we're voting Emils? I mean he's been the least active and from I've been told he has not talked to people much (including me) so. I hope it goes well. Usually I am pretty calm in the survivors I play but goddamn I am paranoid. Maybe since I am enjoying myself so much so I don't want to go yet?

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Logically I won't be voted out here, right? I've talked to basically everyone a fair bit, I did the whole flag and I got 2/2 possible points. I'm safe.. right?

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Here is veni's power rankings of the people in my tribe: 1. Oulu 2. Tel Aviv 3. Richmond 4. Allan 5. Emils

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So I re-read my Fairy Survivor S2 stuff I wrote pre-game and goddamn if I am not a broken record. I am basically doing the same thing this time I love it lol. I do hope the experience I got in the year and a half between those has taught me valuable lessons.

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Tel Aviv has really high gamesense and sense of strategy. We both discussed how important it is to have that one loyal person to win. I hope he implies I am his. For me it's Oulu I think

Okay so the first round is almost over. Thankfully my tribe was able to win immunity because I am not ready for tribal that's for sure! These small tribes freak me out. But...if we do end up going to tribal I am ready because I FOUND AN IDOL! I'm a little skeptical because it was way too easy and so I'm scared everyone has an idol but we shall see. I'm really terrible at games in the beginning because I hate awkward small talk so I was definitely scared of tribal. I'm not in any alliances yet but hopefully that is because it is still early. I'm trying to prove myself an asset and I was glad I did great at that shark game. It was very challenging to play because I had my baby smashing my keyboard or mouse and closing out of the game in the middle of playing, ahhaha.

Day 2: Won Reward challenge!! WOOT!! All that effort wasn't for naught. The /r/ultrahardcore alliance was made between Sluggy, Jacob and myself... Im not sure how I feel about this. Immunity challenge announced, Flash games while I'm at work. FUCK FLAPPY BIRD I can do this Hextris and Shark game... I will submit one of these. Fire lighting challenge, I fail at striking a light. Sluggy and Jacob tell me that Jacob has an Idol Clue, it is apparently on the beach. Continue my chats with everyone. Dean also tells me about the Idol clue, either its on the beach and people trust me or there is an alliance that is fabricating stories. Work out everyone but Tyler knows about the clue so I tell him Gained Tyler's trust End day 2 Day 3: We win Immunity, YES!!! I spent the day continuing to build relationships. Mention to Jacob the Tyler doesnt think he likes him and to win Tyler's trust Jacob told Tyler about the clue, but it seems to only further distrust as he waited so long to tell him about it. This could have made Tyler distrust me more as well... Working with Jacob could be dangerous down the line. /r/UHC needs a 4th... Dean and Tyler's names are suggested. Trash talk hosts in tribe chat all day. Im worried my chattiness may put a target on my back, will need to be careful. End Day 3

I’m loving my tribe and our female avatar presence. Whoever is rob Mariano I kind of want to vote out though. I’m super glad we won immunity and I don’t have to try super hard to be chatty. Loving the format so far

youtube

HI I'M VILMA AND I'M VERY EXCITED TO PLAY I also suck at making confessionals because they take a lot of effort for my Finnish speaking ass so I like to just copy bits from my host chat, be prepared Right off the bat I was confused because I didn't get cast with anyone I would've played with before. I recognized a few familiar faces but most people I have no frame of reference for. This meant I couldn't rely on riding with any pre game relationships and I had to actually socialize with people. Thank god we didn't have a one world phase this time around so I only had to keep up with five other people! Clash playing hard right off the bat I specced his season so I know he was a big moves type of guy haha I wanna make sure I'm on his good side My tribe is very active But I'm Very Scared Of The Zwooper People They tend to be crazy And I'm not about that crazy life at all I CAN'T EVEN WITH VENI WHERE DOES HE GET ALL HIS JOKES FROM I LOVE HIM Alright I think Veni and I are the only ones left awake And He is my favorite I've talked to everyone except the Latvian guy or was he Lithuanian THE BALTIC GUY Ginger and Clash both seem like people I need to be wary of Power players for sure, and good socially And according to Clash they have bad blood from previous games So I can see them targetting each other if we go to tribal And Clash already made a three way alliance between myself him and Veni Which I'm okay with, as of now Veni I definitely want to work with And I prefer staying on good terms with Clash Allan I have neutral feelings towards, only talked to him a bit so far But I stan the Europe tribe I just can't keep up with multiple convos at once so it's been super confusing Already shared my idol guesses with Veni and Clash I think I'm the only girl on my tribe Not a big fan of that fact Really wanted to play with Emily I hope we both make it to a swap so I could meet her Chatting with these people I've started to realize how much I abuse caps lock and exclamation points It's a really bad habit Should probably tone it down, everyone must be thinking I'm screaming at them constantly I'm playing so different compared to how I usually play I usually never initiate convos And try to step up as little as possible While still being friendly with everyone But now I've been very social It's weird Feels like I'm harassing everyone ... Unfortunately, we lost the first immunity challenge ... YIKES I'M GOING TO BE THE FIRST BOOT CALLING IT NOW HOW TF DID THEY GET 6 MILLION I think Emils might be the target Which I'm okay with since he seems to only be online a bit in the evenings Everyone knows I hate losing challenges so I want active people He seems really nice though, but seems like everyone has talked to him the least Clash told me that him and Ginger have decided to leave their past behind so I guess they're not going to target each other just yet I'm glad he's telling me this though it makes me trust him a bit more But I'll still keep my eye on both of them _ Ok hi I'm checking in about an hour before tribal and as far as I know Emils should be going home tonight. It's been super quiet around camp though and it makes me feel paranoid, but I hope it'll be an easy first vote. Veni wants me to make a chat with him and Ginger so we could solidify we make it through next round if we end up having to go to tribal again. My issue is I think Clash and Ginger are closer than they seem and I'm scared if we made a chat without Clash and he found out about it he could become angry. That's why i'd rather it to be a four-way chat between me, Veni, Clash and Ginger but we shall see what happens in the next few hours I guess.

Okay that went perfectly. Ngl when Ginger was like "someone doesn't know it's them tonight" I FREAKED. Then my name gets written down at tribal and I was like ????. I mean luckily it wasn't me but god that was scary. I really hope we win this next immunity I can't deal with that stress rn lmao. I also have no clue who I'd vote out. Also in other news, Chase is cute af! I'm gonna be so embarrassed when he leaves and is able to read this but it's true. I definitely wanna keep him around for a bit lmao.

jesus christ ginger you are an evil psychopath.. but I kinda dig it

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also I am mostly done with location based names.. for now

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themoneybuff-blog · 5 years

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Questions About Tax Brackets, Compound Interest, Warehouse Clubs, Stamps, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. Losing faith 2. Thoughts on simple investment strategy 3. Tax bracket question 4. Compound interest question 5. Costco versus Sams Club 6. Question about forever stamps 7. Investing for near term 8. VA disability and property taxes 9. KitchenAid 10. Where should I retire? 11. Credit cards for specific purposes 12. Saving old journals On the wall in my office are three framed pictures that my children drew for me when they were younger using finger paints. In the corner of each, my wife typed out a brief description of what the painting was supposed to be, transcribing what the children told her about them. They are among my favorite possessions. I look at them at least a few times a day and they provide a constant reminder to me about what Im doing, what Ive done right, and what I might do better. Theyre older now. My daughter is a fantastic artist at this point, drawing still life far better than I ever dreamed of being able to do. My oldest son is developing into a skilled problem solver and is likely headed for some sort of engineering career. My youngest has a superb wit and the most insatiably curious mind Ive ever come across. Those pictures captured them at a moment in their lives thats already past, yet when I look at the pictures, I dont think of my children as they were, but as they are. Its pretty impressive what three pieces of paper and a few cents worth of finger paint can do. Q1: Losing faith I have worked for the DoE for 18 years and been through a few shutdowns, but this is the first time Ive simply not received my paycheck. Part of the reason I have chosen to work for the government rather than an energy company is due to the stability of the job and now that feels like it is eroding. I dont know when Im getting paid next which is the very type of thing I wanted to avoid in private industry and took a somewhat lower paying job. I am losing faith in the government as reliable. Not sure what to do. Dan After last weeks mailbag focused so heavily on the shutdown, I wanted to dial it back a little this week, so this is the only shutdown-related question. Again, Im not interested in the politics of the situation, just how it affects the daily life of those affected by it. In your shoes, Dan, I would probably start polishing up the resume. I get the impression that your finances are generally pretty stable and you can handle a short period without pay. I would also use this as inspiration to remind yourself that the best kind of financial reliability is when youre relying solely on your own savings, not the reliability of an employer. When things do return to normal, kick up your retirement savings a bit and get yourself into a place of financial independence just a little faster. Q2: Thoughts on simple investment strategy I wanted to get your thoughts on the investment strategy my great uncle told me about. Hes in his mid 60s and has been basically retired for about a decade. He ran a bakery but sold it to the manager about a decade ago and sometimes consults with them but thats about it. He said that what he did was starting in the early 1980s when he was just starting out, he put a minimum of $100 a month into a savings account and then put in any windfalls he got. The minimum grew as his income did. Whenever the stock market dropped 10% from its peak, he would take half of his savings and put it in the stock market and then not watch again for another six months. He said he blew away the market doing this and its why he retired so early. I am skeptical because he sometimes tells tall tales and I think he is mostly retired on bakery money. Your thoughts? Alex So, lets break this down. He puts $100 a month into savings and then puts half of his savings into stocks every time the stock market is 10% or more lower than its peak, but he only does this every six months at most. I tried my best to match this strategy in a spreadsheet to figure out whether this would actually beat the market. As best as I can figure, over the period of January 1, 1982 to January 1, 2019, this strategy would beat the market but not overwhelmingly, and it didnt beat the market for long stretches in there. I assumed a 3% return over that entire period on money in the savings account, and I only checked the stock market on the 1st of every month. I used the S&P 500 as the number for the stock market and assumed he was investing in the Vanguard 500, which basically matches the S&P 500. Now, having said that, its worth noting that sitting on stocks over that period is simply a great investment. On January 1, 1982, the S&P 500 was at 117.30. On January 1, 2019, its at 2,584.62. That money he invested back in the early eighties utterly exploded in value. Heck, even as late as January 1, 2009, it was at 865.58 it has basically tripled since then. If your great uncle sold his bakery ten years ago and put a lot of that money into stocks, and hed been doing this investment strategy as you described all along, he probably is sitting on a pretty penny right now. As for whether you should do it, I dont think its strictly better or worse than just investing that $100 directly every month. It really depends on how the market fluctuates, as all of these strategies do. Your great uncle got rich because he made a 40 year investment in stocks, not because he had a great timing strategy. Anyone with just about any strategy starting in the early 1980s would be doing very good today if they just left the money in the market. In other words, I think youd be in great shape if you used your uncles strategy. I also think youd be in great shape if you just put $100 or $200 a month into a broad based index fund and sat on it for the next 40 years. The thing those two strategies have in common is that theyre both riding the long term stock market growth, and thats where the real money is over the long term. Q3: Tax bracket question You wrote: Lets say youre a single taxpayer who earns $35,000 per year. The first $9,275 of your income is taxed at 10%, and the remaining $25,725 is taxed at 15%. What? While $35,000 falls into the 15% tax bracket, your effective tax rate is actually 13.7%. The higher your income, the more tax brackets you pass through to arrive at your effective tax rate. There is no listed 15% tax bracket for single taxpayers.. That sentence is thoroughly confusing! Please explain where you came up with that! Tammy The article in question was written by Simple Dollar contributor Frank Addessi, not by me. Ill do my best to explain this specific point more clearly. First of all, Frank seems to have been using the 2017 tax brackets rather than the 2018 ones to explain the principle. His numbers perfectly line up with the 2017 tax brackets, which did include a 15% rate. The current 2018 tax brackets for single filers look like this: 10% Up to $9,525 12% $9,526 to $38,700 22% $38,701 to $82,500 24% $82,501 to $157,500 32% $157,501 to $200,000 35% $200,001 to $500,000 37% over $500,000 The easiest way to think of tax brackets is to imagine a big water fountain, one that has a bunch of progressively larger pools. When the little pool at the top overflows, the overflow runs down into the next pool which is a little bigger, and when that one overflows, that overflow runs down into the next pool, and so on. Heres a picture if you want a visual aid. So, in Franks example, hes looking at someone who made $35,000 in taxable income this year. You start dumping that income into the 10% bracket until it fills up at $9,525. At that point, you still have $25,475 to put into the fountain, so we move down to the next bracket. It can hold all remaining income up to $38,700, and so it holds the remainder. So, that first $9,525 is taxed at 10%, which means $952.50 in taxes, and the remaining $25,475 is taxed at 12%, which means $3,057 in taxes. Your total tax bill is $4,009.50, which is 11.5% of your income. This person is in the 12% tax bracket and their effective tax rate is 11.5%. Remember, because some of your income always ends up in those smaller bowls with a lower rate, your overall effective tax rate is always lower than your tax bracket. Hopefully this clears things up! Q4: Compound interest question I recently read a blog post about compound interest, which Ive primarily associated with bank accounts. But the article also seems to associate compound interest with retirement accounts and I was wondering if you could provide some clarity. One example early on says Lets say you have $5,000 in a retirement account, earning 7% interest each year. The first year you earn $350 in interest, which brings your total to $5,350. The following year, interest is calculated based on that $5,350 total Even if you never deposit anything but the original $5,000, youll have $38,061.28 in 30 years. I know the average stock market return is 7%, but is it accurate to call that interest? If not, is there some other type of retirement account that genuinely offers 7% interest on your principle every year (as this article seems to suggest)? Another example: toward the end it says If youre saving for retirement, invest in low-fee index funds. Fees of 1% or more will drag down your profit and cut into your compound interest. Index funds will follow the markets course and provide a solid rate of return. Avoid picking individual stocks, as their volatility can be problematic. Im on board with the ideas of low-fee index funds, but not for fear of high fees cut[ting] into your compound interest. Index funds are liable to lose value some years too, arent they? I wouldnt be giving this as much thought if it came from a smaller blog but this is Mint. It makes me wonder if I fully understand how my retirement accounts are working, or if Im missing an opportunity elsewhere. Is the article conflating two topics that dont really connect to one another? Or is there a way to leverage compound interest to this big of a degree for retirement? Max Mint is using the terms investment returns and interest interchangeably here in order to reduce the number of different terms being thrown at the reader. I do this myself its a way of making similar concepts seem familiar and not overwhelm people with new terms, especially when theyre asking an introductory question. They are distinct ideas, but they both have the same effect if you let them sit for a long time, the growth they provide is powerful. Your retirement account, assuming its invested mostly in stocks, doesnt return interest. Rather, what happens is that you usually own shares in a mutual fund. Each time you put money into your retirement account, its used to buy more shares. Over time, those shares grow in value maybe not each and every year, but most years. They also regularly produce dividends, which are small cash payments for each of those shares, issued to you. Almost always, dividends are just used to buy more shares of that same investment. So, shares grow in value over time and youre also rolling dividends in to buy even more shares. The end effect of that is much like compound interest in a savings account it builds and builds. Although theyre not the same thing, the exponential growth curve of interest in a savings account and investments in a retirement account are similar. The growth curve of the savings account isnt as steep, but its very steady and always upwards. The growth curve of the stock market investment is really bumpy, but overall trends upward much more strongly than the growth curve of the savings account. Q5: Costco versus Sams Club I dont know anything about sams club because we joined it when it first came to town years ago and hated it. When Costco came to town, we heard such positive things we decided to give it a chance and have liked it much better. Reasons are several, including those you wrote about esp. the gas prices as we pass the store every day. Further, they treat their employees really well. most importantly, they guarantee that if the credit card rewards (on their visa card) do not equal the membership fee, they will refund the membership fee. We have only one visa card and its theirs as we get a great deal of rewards based on gas alone. Jaden My experience has been that different chain stores have different degrees of quality in different areas of the country. Where I live, the two closest warehouse clubs to my door are both Sams Club and theyre both clean and well stocked and well staffed, and both feature gas prices that are consistently about $0.07 per gallon cheaper than any of the stations near them. There is a Costco in Des Moines (the closest Costco to me) and I found the experience there to be very similar when Ive visited with friends with Costco memberships. However, having said that, I didnt see anything that made it worth the substantial additional drive for me. My experience is that theyre both fine, at least at the locations Ive visited, and you should check out both in your area if theyre both available (along with BJs, another warehouse club chain popular in some regions of the United States). Q6: Question about forever stamps As you likely know, the largest increase in the cost of a stamp will occur on Sunday, January 27, 2019, as the price of a first class Forever Stamp goes from $0.50 to $0.55 (a 10% increase). While the best way to save money on stamps is to call/TXT/email rather than mail a letter, sometimes mailing a letter presents a very good value (sending someone a note of appreciation, etc.). Due to how significant this increase is, I would recommended that anyone with no high interest debt who already has an emergency fund try to purchase 2-4 years worth of stamps, while anyone else try to acquire at least a 1-year supply of stamps (as long as they can do so without paying interest on the purchase). Im curious how much of a supply of stamps you would recommend people acquire prior to this price increase? Stephen Personally, we estimated how many stamps well likely use over the course of 2019 (mostly personal letters and holiday cards) and bought them all already. This added up to 200 stamps, so the cost was $100, as compared to the $110 we would have spent had we bought those stamps at the end of January or later. With a longer timeframe than that, the cost benefit of buying those stamps really starts to shrink. Your annual return starts to sag and you have the stamps for longer, which means theres a greater risk of some sort of damage to the stamps (the longer you have them, the more likely they are to be lost, burnt, misused, and so on). This is basically what weve done each time theres been a bump in the cost of forever stamps. Weve bought an entire years worth just before the bump in price. Its not a big savings, but it saves us $5-$10 over the course of a year. Q7: Investing for near term You recommend fully investing in the Roth/529 even though they are less than 10 years out from likely needing the capital? I was thinking of them putting 10 or 20% aside for long term, although they are a bit depressed by the .1% interest our local bank returns to them. Any back of the envelope math as to what $2,000, invested at age 16, is worth at age 70? Annie Yes, I recommend putting money into tax-advantaged education and retirement accounts, even if youre less than ten years from your expected use. The difference is that when youre looking at that short of a timeframe, you choose investments that are intended for short and medium term investments, like safe bonds or money markets. They have a smaller average annual return than stocks, but they certainly beat savings accounts and have very little risk of losing money and youre still able to pull out the gains tax free. As for your other question, if you put in $2,000 into, say, a Roth IRA at age 16, put it aggressively into stocks, and let it ride until age 70, you should see an average annual return of 7% on that money. So, 54 years of a 7% average annual return on $2,000 gives you are you ready for this $77,224.30. Now, its worth noting that $77K wont go as far in 54 years as it goes now, but itll still be a very healthy chunk of money. If you withdraw 3% of it annually (which is a safe bet), thats $2,317 a year. Yep, if he puts that $2,000 away now and starts withdrawing it every year at age 70, hell be able to pull out more than $2,000 a year basically forever and still hand down a big chunk of it to his kids/grandkids. Q8: VA disability and property taxes Can a veteran who is on total VA disability with no other income receive a tax refund on his home owners taxes? Jim Property taxes are a deduction from ones income tax bill. Since, as a person on total disability from the VA, youre already paying no income taxes, you have nothing from which to deduct. I dont know the specifics of your financial state, but if you were to earn a small income, its likely that the deduction from the property taxes would take care of the income taxes on that small income. However, if your income is solely from the VA due to total disability, property tax payments wont help your income tax bill since you dont have an income tax bill. Q9: KitchenAid it is my understanding that [KitchenAid] was bought out by a foreign company some time ago surely since 50 years ago and that the new company has been making them with some parts being plastic that were metal originally. I have seen reviewers saying that the old ones really do last forever if one takes good care of them, whereas some of the newer models plastic parts tend to wear out. I dont remember seeing any mention of whether those plastic parts can be replaced. I think I found this information on consumer information web sites. Annie Whirlpool purchased KitchenAid in 1986. At some point in the late 1990s, it seems that KitchenAid replaced the gearbox in some of their stand mixers with one made of nylon rather than the original one made of metal. The issue isnt that the nylon ones wear out under normal use, but that people tend to stress them. For example, the instructions for the manual state to only use the dough hook attachment on speed setting 1 or 2, but people often turn it to 3 or higher. This causes the gearbox to get overworked and cause breakdown issues. Today, KitchenAid makes two lines of stand mixers the Artisan and the Pro line. The Artisan has a nylon gear box where the Pro line seems to have the old-style metal gear box but the Pro line is substantially more expensive. One note: the reason many people believe that old things are more reliable is due to selective bias. People remember the things that worked well in the past and forget the things that do not, and then they compare those things that worked well to everything now, where some things work well and some things do not. Thats always been true. Q10: Where should I retire? My husband I are targeting early retirement within 10 years but well be figuring out a location in 3-5 years. We want to spend the next few years visiting a variety of possible locations, narrow it down to a shorter list and then try out a few, staying 6 months to a year. Where would you start? What criteria would you consider? What resources are available, particularly those geared towards retirees (we dont really care about the quality of local schools these days). Thanks for any suggestions. Margaret If I were you, Id start by figuring out what you want to do in retirement. What do you want your typical day to look like? Does it involve regular time with family? With friends? Does it involve a lot of time outside in warm weather? Do you guys like cold weather? How do you want to spend your time? Questions like that should narrow down your target locations pretty quickly. Once youve addressed those kinds of quality of life issues, I would focus on cost of living and aim for areas that have a low cost of living while still meeting your other quality of life goals. I like using this cost of living calculator. Since youre retiring early, I wouldnt prioritize access to services too much at this point. Instead, focus on what will give you the aspects of life you want with a low cost of living. Q11: Credit cards for specific purposes I have not used credit cards until a few years ago and wondering if the following expenses qualify as recurring payment for which the card gives a cash-back: 1. Monthly rent paid to the apartment landlord (not sure if the landlord would accept credit card though but rent is the single largest toll on my modest purse); 2. Life insurance premiums. These do accept credit card payments and I am about to apply for two. Sasha I think that using credit cards for very tight specific purposes like this is a good choice, as it raises your credit score and likely provides some sort of reward bonus or cash back bonus for the card. The key, of course, is paying off the balance in full each month. Youll have to check with the credit card in terms of whether or not such payments qualify for the cash back reward. It depends on the specific offer and probably on how you go about the payment. If I were you, the next step Id take is talking to my landlord about credit card payments. My guess is that a small business might not accept credit cards, but a large one will. You may want to consider other strict uses for it as well, such as gas purchases or other regular bills. Q12: Saving old journals I loved to learn that you also use the three morning pages idea! I have been doing this for years and years, since 2000 at least. Question: what do you do with the old journals? I have a box of them in the garage. I realize I dont really look at them but it feels wrong to just burn them or throw them away but I also dont really want my kids to read them because theyre really personal and I sometimes work through hard feelings about motherhood. Jenny Personally, I digitize all of my old journal entries and then destroy the originals. (The exception is journals that Im hand-writing for each of my kids to give to them when theyre adults that contains a summary of the life advice I have for them along with things like family histories and recollections.) My process is that when I finish a journal, I put it aside for a while until I realize Im no longer looking back on it (usually six months or so), then I cut all of the pages out of the binding and scan them all (I use Scanner Pro). Then, I burn the original pages. That way, I can easily browse through them when I want, search through them using text searching, and theyll basically go away when I die (I suppose one of my kids might find them if they trawl through lots of my digital detritus, but most likely theyll just toss out old computer equipment without a second thought). Most of the stuff Ive written is simply me working through personal problems, and I really have no interest in rereading that stuff. The valuable stuff, for me, is when Im working through an intellectual idea, because I often want to revisit the earlier thoughts. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-tax-brackets-compound-interest-warehouse-clubs-stamps-and-more/

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ichangedmymindalready-blog · 6 years

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Day 6 Begin with the end in mind. You’re beautiful

As I am writing about these days, they seem so long, I have done so much! Today, I woke up in the new area, I was so glad I did not get caught. However, I woke up and one of the first things I did was roll a blunt, it seems so normal like what is wrong about putting leaves into another leave. Well, a dude with bike walked by and scared the crap out of me, he wasn’t paying attention to me but I instantly got scared so I guess im the prejudice one. Or he just wasn’t paying attention. I finish rolling the blunt, took me 2 min - new personal record. I dip out to the nearest and cleanest gas station, get dressed, take my pictures and get out. Its time to explore the other side of this highway. Its a little map I made, there is one high through two sides of a part in downtown Atlanta. Each part is a different town, I explored the other side yesterday with the movies and such but today is museum day. Chyeah! So I go to a diner called “Atlanta Breakfast Club” and its super known in the Atlanta community. I walk in and get seated by a guy in a sweater. I ask him if I could sit on the side where there is a blackboard with drawings on it, to gain inspiration for the creative shit I’m about to do. He says that side is not being served so he sits me in the middle of the cafe. WHERE DA OUTLET, all the way across the room. So I open my laptop - around 30% - what da heck. I try and do some work, order a coffee, watch a lot of beuatiful people walk in and out of the cafe. I like people watching, there are so many people in the world and to me they are all not real unless you make them real so I try to learn peoples stories or just learn about people. I feel I suck at doing things with people or I haven’t found the right people but either way Ill figure it out. I like watching people, talking to people but creating relationships suck unless they have that connection but its hard because ive learned some people don’t have that connection until later and I think its hard for me because lately its been awkward with people and I do not have a best friend, just me. Anyways, after my laptop dies, I sit for awhile until I have the nerve to ask the waiter to move spots. I finally move spots, get busy into work for like 7 minutes but first can we talk about how coffee or caffeine makes me inspired, gives me hope, but also makes me lean and vibrate its crazy. I need that drug in me without that shit. So I decided to not only do work but apply for hella jobs in ATL only applied for two because I got stuck trying to figure out somethings and I want to leave the O but I got some unfinished business there. I got to stop trying to live my life by other peoples path but Im really not, I just want to move but RUkstyle needs me and the church. Once I get those on the feet I feel like maybe more ideas and opportunities that are more and better for me will come up but I still like ATL. Cant wait to travel more. Anyways, so how got online is that I ask the “ATlatna Breakfast Club”(ABC) sweater guy who now to me seems like the manager, if they have a social media team or marketing team. I let him know Im down for that shit, he asks to see all my stuff, gives me the wifi and everything, because they dont have wifi. Boom online and showed my work to this guy for about 10 minutes and gave him my card hope everything works out! I hate half asking shit so im gonna stop that habit first letts do this shit. Anyways done with ABC, I drive around the area for twenty minutes trying to find parking, park, smoke half the blunt in the parking lot next to a school, forgetting that I decided to look for jobs at the museums so who goes to a job interview high, damn I got to get my shit together. So I get all my shit, takes me a while but I feel so dope because I love backpacking adventures. So I see that the school is a dope story from the outside so I take some pictures, go back to my car to get my camera manual so I can really get this shit looking nice. I finally get some good pics continue walking to go to a civil rights muesum across the street from ABC. AS I walk there its not cold anymore kinda hot but not too much. Im high as hit and feeling so fucking good. I finally get there and across the street is ATLANTA MISSION: ENDING HOMELESSNESS and I’m so hype because I know I can help in some way shape or form with media so I make note to go to that after the mueseum and find their hr. So I walk to the museum and just off the bat the building is one of the most beautiful things ive seen, I spend a good hour outside just taking pictures of it. Then I go upstairs to go inside nad they sayits 19 dollars - dude thats all I got let so im like nah lets see how much the other museum is. I call the other museum - 15$ - I can do that but still have doubts. Well, the Coca Cola world is right across from thsi and I’m not really that interested but I do want a glass coke or two for 1.50$ YESSS. Get two cokes and walk back to the car oh SHIT I need to go to the homelessness place. I finally go there and cant find the door, so I call and they tell me to look online. Figures. Anyways, so now I am back at the car, I put everything up and go inside the school. This school is top fucking notch. Uniforms, tv, and security. I ask for HR - in a meeting but they said they will email me so thats cool! I go back to my car, drive to a gas station near the concert venue to change its only 230 but I want to be ready. o h yeah did I mention today is the AMINE CONCERT. Anyways so I get dressed for halloween, take some pics, drink a coke, smoke the rest of that blunt nad then witness THE VARSITY - another well known DRIVE IN restaurant in the community. Im like I got to at least get fries but as I cross the street I see a guy with a broadcast camera on the bridge coming off the high way. So I drive in the resturant parking lot and they have a fucking two story drive in. I go to the second story cause when will I be able to do this again. I take some pictures from teh second floor, of the city and the place and then I drive down cause its not a drive in part just a parking lot. I park and still see the guy with the camera walking away on the highway so I get out and run, in my Jim as Dwight suit feeling like fucking clark Kent with my tie flying everywhere and my curls just bouncing. I catch the cameraman and ask him what is happening with film and photography in ATL, any spots? He says he moved here from Valdosta and just bought a camera, what a guy. Well I gave him my card and told him my story. He seemed kinda interested hopefully these people call. I run back to my car before its towed or something and look around, therses no’ button like sonic so I go to car with this black lady in a suit she cracks the window and tells me how it works. I wait look at my clock its 245, spend time on thsi or money on the museum. I end up going to teh muesum but see theres only paid parking, cut that shit, smoke the rest of yesterdays blunt WHICH I FORGOT ABOUT and go to find parking for the venue takes me about an hour, but I finally find parking for $4 totally worth the perseverance of finding cheap parking. Its right next to the venue but my ass went around and couldn’t find it, I asked a police officer and he pointed me to the right direction. SO THIS PART OF TOWN IS CALLED UNDERGROUND BECUASE ITS ACTUALLY UNDERGROUND THIS CONCERT WAS UNDERFUCKINGGROUND WHAT THE HELL. SO im underground and see a whole bunch of hot girls I mean decent but beautiful waiting in line and this is how the conversation goes.

Me(high as fucking shit): Hey are you waiting for the amine concert? Is this the VIP LINE?

Girls: yes

Me walks to the end of line

Girls: I mean yes but not VIP.

Me: Oh okay

Girls: What are you dressed up as?

Me: Do you watch The office?

Girls: Yes (get excited) and points

Me thinks I feel a connection that they get that im Dwight so I just jump in the air and squeal: Yo im so glad you get it (walks away happily)

Im not really sure if they got it or I just think they did but I feel bad because I left and I dint know.

Anyways , I realize im hungry as shit so I go find some food. I see this guy who looks cute from behind but not really the face thinking he still cool enough to be my best friend I ask him if he knows any good places to eat, he’s not from here and trying to find the same thing. Im like okay and walk in teh opposite direction on purpose. I wish I could’ve saidwel do you want t look around with me. Thats a good way to make friends but still a lot and I didn’t. Anyways, I go all the way to the other side of town and see a completely Nasty looking asian place, it wasn’t nasty it was actually too hot to tell but it tasted nice asf. Like everything seemed wrong about the place it even smelled bad but I was hungry and I gave it a try. Im proud. So after that I walk all the way back and sit in line waiting for amine. The place is underground so im just glad to be there so hype about it all. I finally get called in with the others with my badge and everything, Im kinda nervous. I see him, still on edge. I show him my video for move the right way, he tells me to send it to his assistants email so I do!, I ask him to guess my outfit (Jim as Dwight) for halloween he doesnt watch the office but his best friend does and loves the outfit and gives mea high five. He asks what do you want to do for the picture I say something stupid cause you and your friends are stupid and he’s like you calling me stupid and im like oh shit NO stupid as in weird. I feel bad now, I take the picture and wait overthinking my life for the show to start. The show is blasting bad boy records and im so bout it. I know every song, I dance to my self in the crowd. I meet some people who seem really cool one person from Orlando too. The opener comes out, Towkio, in his set he asks for dancers, some girls come on stage, INCLUDING ME. The music starts playing and the girls start twerking , almost jump off the stage but instead I start cramping dopes. Amine comes on after that and he’s going in, I wish I knew the lyrics, I honestly truly just enjoyed the concert, I sang maybe 3 songs but Caroline was everything. After that, we dance it out with a dj and im so hype, people say they like my dancing and was happy and left home.after getting lost.

#journals #atlanta #drugs #high #writings #writer

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