Danny had everything under control! He did!
It's dark out, time ticking to zero, and he's desperately trying to hide the baby yeti along the shadows of the alleys.
He's so so dead. Even more than he is right now. Turning full ghost even.
When Frostbite finds out that he'd taken his eyes off Snowdrift for five seconds and ended up in the living realm with no preparation, very short notice, or plan, he will never trust Danny with babysitting again!
Oh ancients.
"Hey there— is that a yeti?"
Great, a hero.
Swirling around, Danny stands in front of Snowdrift, hiding their form barely, their fluff and form peeking from behind the legs.
"No—"
"Greetings! My name is Snowdrift!"
Danny glances at the yeti cub as they stand next to him.
"Snowdrift, this is a stranger danger situation, remember what I told you about those?"
The cub peers up at him, confused. "Name no name and call for Dad?"
The teen nods.
Snowdrift looks at the hero, and a light bulb goes off. They quickly slide back behind Danny's form, simply peeking from the side now, curious.
"You saw nothing." The halfa turns to the hero, grinning nervous yet threatening.
"I'm not sure this is how it goes—"
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Law has the autism rizz, but that's nothing compared to Zoro's autism And ADHD rizz. Bro is unstoppable, Sanji took one look at this sword obsessed weirdo and went like "alright fine whatever I'll love this bitch for the rest of my fucking life"
Bestie you are correct ✨
Law will like, hear about the stuff you like and will be able to recite crazy shit that's somehow connected to it right off the top of his head. When he makes eye contact it's like you're the only person he's seeing (which is really because no one told him it's okay to look away when you talk to someone so he take eye contact very literally lol). He's the type to be vaugely unsettling when you first meet him and then when you get to know him he's got a very nice vibe to him. Also Law surprisingly has game when he hits on people, like he could really pull some hotties if he wanted to lol. (He doesn't, he hates people.)
Zoro, like Law, is wholly uninterested in most people. But I feel like Zoro's rizz is really niche, it takes a specific type of person to really get into him. Sanji is, unfortunately, one of those people. Which really just means he's a morosexual. Because Zoro is somehow simultaneously one of the smartest and dumbest people alive. He's so reckless he's borderline suicidal and yet he's one of their best strategists, he has never picked up a book in the entire time he's been with the crew and yet he is their human calculator.
Sanji has found himself on more than one occasion saying stuff like 'That's so fucking stupid, tell me more.' There's just something about the way Zoro says dumb shit. And it's always after saying the most profound and wise things.
He's also the perfect amount of bouncing off the walls kind of feral, like Law is, for the most part, a fairly monotone guy (unless he's around Luffy and Kid). But Zoro is ready to fight or fuck at the drop of a hat. When they first met Sanji saw him go crazy for a fight with a man who was so obviously out of his league, then almost die over it and was like 'Uh oh why was that attractive?' Every time he sees that feral smile before a fight it's like the 'oh no, he's hot!' meme plays in his head on repeat.
He's mostly hyper fixated on his swords but after spending so much time with Sanji, Zoro has accidentally learned a bunch of shit about food and the kitchen so he's incredibly helpful when it comes to shopping and cleaning. Because Zoro knows all his systems and follows them to a T (He complains every step of the way though and that pisses Sanji off.) He fits really well in his kitchen, Sanji has almost forgotten what it felt like to not have him there and he's not entirely sure he could go back to how it was before.
So yeah, Sanji goes from 'Damn, why am I into this little weirdo?' to 'Fuck, I'm in love with this freak aren't I?'
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“From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother's womb you have been my God.
Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.” - Psalm 22
1. Velázquez, Diego. Christ Crucified. 1632, Museo Del Prado, Madrid.
2. Barbieri, Giovanni Francesco. Apparition of Christ to the Virgin. 1628 - 1630, Civic Art Gallery, Cento.
3. Sassoferrato, Giovanni Battista Salvi. Madonna and Child. 1625 - 1700, Louvre Museum, Paris.
4. Story, William Wetmore. The Angel of Grief Weeping Over the Dismantled Altar of Life. 1894, Rome.
5. Bloch, Carl Heinrich. The Crucifixion. 1870, Museum of National History, Copenhagen.
6. “Mac Finds His Pride.” It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, season 13, episode 10, FX Network, 7 Nov. 2018. Writ. Rob McElhenney and Charlie Day. Dir. Todd Bierman.
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Open up
Based on this wonderful art of @puppetmaster13u for the dollhouse au!
It had been a long day, and was destined to be even longer.
The original plan had been bad enough; the league had a media conference planned for three o'clock, one that involved foreign presence and thus required pristine presentation.
Then, as all perfectly good plans that could have been left alone by the universe did, it was derailed by a villain attack or several. He said several because it seemed almost a dozen separate villains had individually had the bright idea of sabotaging the well publicised event. Though they'd failed, the accidental collaboration had done what each alone could not, and now the league was dragging themselves to base to hurriedly patch up the thankfully minor wounds and try and rush to meet the deadline.
Each league member on the list had a formal version of their usual super suit - flash's main change had been a bowtie before it met almost unanimous disapproval, and on the other end of the effort spectrum was Bruce. Not of his own will - he quite envied Flash's staunch faith in the single black bowtie - but he not only had been raised for the fast and critical world of the upper class, but was currently in a metal plated marionette held together by glue and screws and wires, which meant changing attire was more of a debacle than it would ordinarily be.
He flipped open the toolkit with the best approximation of a sigh the doll body could manage. The chest inflated and deflated, which was in fact a rather worrying sign because it wasn't supposed to be able to do that. He grabbed a screwdriver and a pit of tar glue and approached the mirror. He'd just have to go into the globally broadcast meeting stinking of sulphur... Perhaps he could borrow perfume from one of the girls, cologne combined dreadfully.
The chest cavity opened with little tugging, and he held one side in place as he attacked the bent hinges. An odd feeling, for sure. He took a hammer to the dent, imagining it was the penguin's face and praying Clark didn't decide now was the time to approach him on his self soothing metalworking hobby. He'd been entrusted with the override code for the door and Bruce was now quietly regretting that.
The chest cavity doors creaked back into place, which enabled him to finally pull out the costume change for the evening and dump it on the side.
Now for the leg, having been crushed under a tank penguin had smuggled into Gotham. It now bent the wrong way, and hiding it under his cloak had been a pain, but at least it hadn't come off -
There it went. Batman watched, almost despondent, as it toppled free of his body and crashed to the ground. The unhappy static that raced up his spine at the sight was expected - he'd be paying for the lack of care for the Patriarch Doll in nightmares tonight.
Joy.
He tipped into the nearby stool and kicked the lost limb closer with his remaining foot, squinting. Just a cracked screw and torn spring at the knee, thank goodness. He'd have it fully attached again within the hour.
But he was pretty sure he couldn't bend that far over without his jaw falling off, so face it was.
Hood off, wires unlaced under the chin, hidden screws loosened. The gas mask came off. The velcro on top of his head took good old fashioned yanking, but eventually peeled off with reluctant crackling, revealing the unpainted grey metal beneath.
As expected, his jaw was almost entirely loose, unable to close now without the structure of the mask. The nutcracker mouth in the lower jaw fell to tap against his throat, leaving either side of the actual lower jaw to hang in the air. Experimentally, he opened and closed his mouth, and watched all three parts swing and clink like a robot body horror wind-chime.
This was going to need a finer touch, and so he stripped off his gloves to access the sharp points of his talons - capped while with the league to keep the prick of steel rending claws to a mere suggestion.
He felt bared, now, all his top layer removed and abandoned, the door to his room at his back. He feels the paranoia to double check the lock, reassures himself that even if he'd somehow forgotten in his haste to hide away none of the members were mad enough to try and get in. Outside Superman, of course, but he always knocked.
Still, he hurried through repairs, running diagnostics in the back of his mind as he daubed glue into the cracks and set about restructuring his own jaw. Ears swivelled. Neck rolled. Glider snaps curled.
The jaw pieces were setting nicely when there was a noise at the door, and batman whipped around, cloak flaring behind him. The pliers dropped from suddenly weak fingers.
Captain marvel stood in the doorway, eyes wide as he took in the room, face pale as he saw Batman propped up in middle, bare of his many obfuscating layers. Black tar speckled his lap, wires hung free like veins, blank eyes glowed, his jaw gaping, skinless. Glinting claws and spikes in full view, a limb discarded on the floor like garbage. His chest a dark hole, void of organs, of machinery, of anything that could make him run. A decades old terror gripped his heart.
HE SAW!
Both froze. Time stretched interminably.
The captains chest heaved for a scream, and batman was moving before he knew it, grabbing his fallen leg and lunging.
Captain marvel fell with a crack. Batman caught himself on the door. Five seconds before short term memory entered long term, had he reacted in time?
Hm.
He considered the body of the champion of magic laid in front of him, idly rebalancing the eternal tally graph of potential energies the dolls might run on in the back of his head and as always coming up none the wiser. This was a very inconvenient place for a body. Perhaps he could nudge marvel into the hallway to wake up. He glanced up and down the empty corridor, staying out of view of the camera.
Maybe he had overreacted slightly.
Bonus:
Billy and Green Lantern sat in the monitor room, ostensibly on duty but really checking out the watchtower camera feeds of the day before. Lantern was pointing at the screen.
"Here," he said, with a glee Billy didn't honestly appreciate. "Look at that. You go down like a sack of bricks and then -" he clicked forward two frames, "- this silver hand thing appears on the door frame. Look at that, that's a proper horror movie hand curl. The claws! Just missing the glint of a blood covered axe appearing from the shadows."
Billy shuddered, but couldn't help moving closer.
"What do you think it was? Can't have been batman, right?"
"You were there, you tell me." Lantern patted him on the shoulder before he could retort. "I mean, doesn't look much like him. Doesn't really have claws and his are black anyway. Pretty sure his gloves are sewn into his skin at this point."
"I didn't need that mental image," Billy said, because he really didn't.
"Could be another Robin variant? Like that black bat thing?"
"Dunno. I mean, unlikely. Maybe it was batman. Maybe he can shapeshift a little."
"We've had that on the list of possible powers for ages, still nothing firm one way or the other."
"It probably is batman -"
"But the claws -"
They trailed off.
"We'll just add it to the list. I'll save the file, hang on. We can talk about it at the do next week - you're coming right?"
"Yeah, but I've got, uh... A diplomacy thing with the yetis at nine, so I'll have to bail then."
"You always have the weirdest personal missions. Hey, maybe you can ask them about batman, pffft. Maybe he's one of them."
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