#he is such an interesting mix of human and cat anatomy

[shannonallaround]

GUYS I FINALLY DREW HIM

#I present to you: The Blorbo #from late last night #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #HE IS SO GREAT #puss in boots: the last wish #puss in boots #he was actually very hard to get a grasp on #gonna keep studying him #he is such an interesting mix of human and cat anatomy #and his face is so hard to get just right #lol I made a reference #if you know you know #puss in boots fanart #puss in boots 2 #puss in boots the last wish

[kitchin-gryphin]

CatBoy Chaos Comparative Anatomy/Traits Post!!

I asked in the endnotes of ch. 3 of CatBoy Chaos if anyone would be interested in my thoughts about the anatomy of catboy! Danny in my fic, as someone studying animal science, and several people said yes- so here they are! Some things I’m going to talk about in this post have been mentioned in the fic already, but I’m going to elaborate more on them.

SO - Cats and Humans? Are very very different!! (shocker I know) Forcing the human body to have cat traits would realistically fuck you up real good! Just ears, a tail, and eyes is (quite literally,) surface level stuff, and imo a little boring! So here is a list with explanations of my version of Cat-Boy Danny’s traits :

1) Advantageous Cat Traits:

Improved Hearing, he can hear softer sounds, and tell directionally where sounds are coming from! (Directional hearing is something humans are really bad at)

Improved Smell! Cats obviously have a much better sense of smell than humans

Improved Night Vision - cat eyes means a “tapetum lucidum” -  a layer of reflective cells, and what causes cat’s eyes to “glow” in the dark!

Tolerance for Dehydration and Infrequent Blinking - Domestic cats descend from desert-dwelling wildcats. These traits are a result of that ancestry, and now Danny can win any staring contest!

2) Instincts!!

Discomfort with death - (mentioned in ch.2) - animals typically have an instinctual aversion to death, it’s an important survival instinct! For Half-ghost boy Danny, this makes using his ghost powers uncomfortable, and sets him on edge any time he uses them.

Prey Drive! - Cats are predators, they have a prey drive, this will be very fun for me to include, and potentially very embarrassing for Danny... 

Defensive Reactions - will absolutely hiss/bite before really thinking. Think fight or flight made more dramatic.

3) Complete Cat Dentition

Poor boy doesn’t just have the sharp “fang” canines of a cat, he has ALL cat teeth. Cats are carnivores!!! All their teeth are sharp!! 

This totally makes eating and chewing more difficult for Danny.

Hooked “sandpaper” tongue! He’s not going to lick himself, that’s gross, but he does have a hooked tongue! 

below is low quality drawing I did in class of cat vs human teeth:

4) New Dietary Considerations

Cats are OBLIGATE CARNIVORES!! On their own, cats cannot synthesize taurine - an amino acid that is absolutely vital to the body’s function! Danny’s meta gene removed his ability to synthesize it, he either needs meat in his diet, or to take a special taurine supplement. 

Regardless of wether or not he wasn’t before - Danny is ABSOLUTELY lactose intolerant now. Human’s common lactose tolerance into adulthood is unique in the animal kingdom.

Common cat poisons - In chapter 2, Danny gets sick after having a mocha latte - Coffee and Chocolate are two things cats cant have! He’s gotta be careful about what he eats now. Will everything bad for cats make him sick? No, but he doesn’t know what will or won’t.

5) Learned Muscle Control

Humans do have ear muscles, but they’re vestigial. Some people have a little control over them, which is why they can “wiggle their ears”. Suddenly for Danny, these muscles are no longer vestigial.

His tail is an entire appendage that he didn’t have before, 

Until he learns control of these muscles, any emotion shown by his tail or ears is involuntary and instinctual!!

6) Incompatible Skeletal Structure

Oh boy - human bipedalism is already such a mess structurally. From an engineering and structural standpoint, human hips and backs are so very messed up, (its why back pain is so very common). Adding a tail to that mix? yikes.... a tail is a continuation of the spine. Realistically, it would ABSOLUTELY cause severe chronic hip/back pain. It’s not something that’s going to to play a role in CatBoy Chaos, but know that i’m thinking about it and imagining how much ouch that would be.

NO RETRACTABLE CLAWS - YIKES EW NO. Retractable claws would BUTCHER human hands… A cat's retractable claws involve the bone that is equivalent to a human fingertip. I’m not doing that to Danny… ick, no, that would be really gross to me -

 here’s an image I found of what I’m trying to say - (Image Credit)

Also: some small notes about Danny and cat Stereotypes/Myths

“Cats Always Land on their feet” and landing unharmed from impossible heights - For cats, these are a result of directional awareness in the air, ability to “parachute” to slow descent, and the ability to “cushion” the impact when landing. Of these traits, the only one Danny could really have and still look like a catboy as opposed to a full-on anthro cat, is directional awareness in the air.

“Cats don’t like water” - This comes up in ch. 4, so minor spoiler until I post it this weekend, but ultimately Danny comes to his own conclusion that wet fur is not comfortable, and takes forever to dry.

“Cats & 9-lives” - well... he’s still a halfa...

Finally: Of course he purrs!!!

So There you have it! My thoughts about the anatomy of CatBoy! Danny in my fic CatBoy Chaos! 

If there’s any questions about my thoughts, I’d love to hear ‘em! 

#catboy danny au #catboy chaos #danny phantom #dp x dc #danny fenton #weird anatomy #comparative anatomy

[trickinabucket]

BTW, My AFAB*s for Yakuza are currently (Part 1?):

*assigned furry at birth

(This is a small project I have where I come up with animals that could represent the cast in a furry universe. They lean more heavily in the direction of redwall-esque. They stand and move more like humans, but their anatomy is a bit more animalistic. They also wear clothes. I'm pretty sure. I just don't draw that atm bc I suck at it lol I also try very hard to limit the animals to ones found on the continent their races "come from." It's a weird rule I impose. And, if you're curious, a child could come from a breeding pair that is a completely different species. It's more of an "energy"/features thing.)

-----

Kiryu Kazuma:

[ Kiryu Kazuma ]

Smooth Chow/Shar Pei/Mix of the two

Any particular notes or reasons?

Even though I try to stick to Japanese dogs for the yakuza themselves, I really liked either/both of these options because of how bulky they are. The wrinkly face can also sometimes look pretty mean - but, by the same measure, they can look like teddy bears. Not to mention; Chow Chows were bred for, among other reasons, guarding. Shar Pei are fighting dogs.

Nishikiyama Akira, AKA "Nishiki":

[ Nishikiyama Akira, AKA "Nishiki" ]

Larger, bulkier version of Japanese Spitz (possibly some ambiguous mix?)

Any particular notes or reasons?

The breed is said to be eager to please. Not to mention, loyal! They're also regarded as a companion breed that can serve as a watch dog. Also, so, so beautiful.

Kazama and Arakawa:

[ Kazama and Arakawa ]

One of two breeds (different for each):

Shikoku Inu

Kishu Ken

Any particular notes or reasons?

Both these breeds are considered old and rumored to have wolf blood. (Wolves in Japan are extinct, so this is the closest we'll get to them, if that's the case.) They're also both hunting dogs. And we all know both of these men did a fair bit of hunting in their day.

Majima Goro:

[ Majima Goro ]

Striped Hyena

Any particular notes or reasons?

"Hyena" is just perfect for Majima. Keeping that in mind, he didn't start off "clownish" as a yakuza; quite the opposite. This particular type of hyena isn't famed for cackling; that's spotted hyenas. (Though, I did hear that they can laugh from some rando on the internet who claimed to live in a region that had striped yeen territory.) They're nocturnal, perfect for "The Lord of The Night." I also think them being skinny, top-heavy alternatives to spotted hyenas is more reminiscent of Majima's body type. Striped hyenas are also canine-enough for me to pass them on as appropriate for yakuza work. (I tend to make the yakuza dogs, but I decided that dog-like "counts" because of Maji, tbh.) There's a lot of interesting symbolism and lore in mythology concerning striped hyenas. Their history is also interesting. I could pull out some things I learned, but, honestly, I worked backwards from hyena to get this guy to fit. I'm sorry to have threatened the integrity of this project.

Masaharu Kaito:

[ Masaharu Kaito ]

Tosa Inu

Any particular notes or reasons?

Tosa Inu are courageous watchdogs initially bred for fighting. They're also lovey to their "people" that they've bonded to (described as "quietly affectionate.") Because of which, they can be somewhat aggressive to other dogs that are "outsiders." And, honestly? I've never seen Kaito even try to play nice with other Yakuza (mostly outside the family, but "mostly" is a key word here), even if they aren't having an outright war. I also know that bully, jowly dogs are considered "ugly" to some people. People in the canon have called Kaito ugly. I believe, however, those real and fake people are full of it.

Takayuki Yagami, AKA "Tak"

[ Takayuki Yagami AKA "Tak" ]

Domestic Cat (Oriental Shorthair?)

Any particular notes or reasons?

"Whet??" you say? Well, for starters, Tak isn't yakuza. So, not a dog. Besides, playing/watching a playthrough of Judgement for like an hour will make you see: Tak has MASSIVE cat energy. He's snarky and sarcastic, cool/level-headed, (somewhat?) dignified, curious as all hell (and aggravating when he wants something, particularly answers). Plus, idk, imagine a cat staring at you, judgementally. Perfectly natural, right? I feel like Yagami's eyes make you tell the truth, or at least makes you squirm.

More to come, bc this is a big post...

( Did I honestly forget The Best Boy?? I'm sorry, he'll be in the next one. )

#Ryū Ga Gotoku #Yakuza #Like a Dragon #furry #character analysis #(some) #symbolism #Kiryu Kazuma #Nishikiyama Akira #Tak Yagami #Masaharu Kaito #Kazama Shintaro #Arakawa Masato

[zezacle]

Boots and Cats

Bilgar slithered down the ships corridor past the various quarters when he heard something interesting from one of the open doors. He recognized the output from his translator as one of the Human's languages.

"That's so cool! You know I always wanted to learn how to do that." The feminine voice of Human Lily.

"Oh, I could teach you like right now, its so unbelievably easy." The grating voice of Annoyance Rowan. Bilgar peered into the quarters to see the two Humans sitting across from each other.

"Really, you don't mind?" Lily asked.

Rowan smirked. "Yeah! I'd teach anybody who wanted to learn." Rowan turned his head and noticed Bilgar standing in the doorway. "I'd even teach Bil."

Bilgar twisted his tentacle. He hated that butchering of his designation that the Human insisted on using. More so, Bilgar hated that he had been so careless in his spying. But the annoying Human seemed willing to share knowledge outside his species. Foolish. As insufferable as the Human was, this could be a valuable opportunity.

Bilgar spoke a series of growls and gurgles unlike any other language spoke on the ship. His translator relayed his speech in a robotic voice speaking the Human language. "I would like to observe this lesson, if you would have me."

"Of course! Although, I don't know if you'll really get much out of this considering how different your vocal anatomy is." Rowan sat up in his seat. What exactly was he going to teach? Bilgar had missed the start of the interaction and so could only guess as to what this lesson was about.

Rowan smiled. "Alright. Boots and Cats."

"What?" Even the female human was confused.

"Those three words are everything you need to get started. Repeat it with me: Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats."

The other human mimicked her instructor as told. Bilgar was thoroughly confused. Surely this was a mistaken translation?

"Alright, now remove all the vowels and vocalization. Bts nnce ktss nnce bts nnce ktts." Lily again mimicked the noises with enthusiasm. "Boom! You're beat boxing." She laughed. "Now you can speed it up or slow it down. Or mix the sounds up. Here, now try 'Boo boo cats, Boo cats.' But obviously without the vocal part and then loop it."

Bilgar watched in confusion as Human lily began bouncing back and forth and made the odd sounds. "Bppt bppt ktss, bppt ktss. Bppt bppt ktss, bppt ktss."

"You hear it?" Rowan asked smiling wide.

Lily giggled and nodded. "Boots and Cats!"

"Right? It has all the sounds you need, kick, snare, hi-hat or whatever-- I don't know, I'm not a drummer." He leaned back in his chair. "Every basic beat box is some derivative of boots and cats."

Bilgar growled and the translator processed it a moment later. "Beat box? Is it some form of secret language?"

"No, its just music. You know, something to do for fun." Rowan clarified. Fun. Bilgar had learned that word referred to useless nonsense. "Wanna give it a shot?"

"No." Bilgar turned and slithered out of the quarters. He was starting to think that the Humans had no secrets of any worth to glean.

But... later that night as he lay in his own quarters, reading through station reports... Gktt gktt, kzzt. Gktt kzzt. Gktt gktt, kztt. Gktt kztt...

#humans are space oddities #creative writing #Its really hard to write out beat boxing sounds #go listen to “somewhere i belong” by Watsky on YouTube #its a great song with some simple and fun beat boxing to follow along with #boots and cats

[cicobuffs]

Hey, I requested a quarry matchup sometime yesterday, though I forgot some things that could be important. I was the forensic science guy. So I’ll just re-write my request. Hopefully I’m not being annoying.

I’m a Biromantic guy with a long haired tabby that I’d consider my best friend. I’m an ambivert and an autistic guy. My love languages are gift giving and quality time.

I’m studying forensic science, though I’m into many forms of science such as Space sciences, human anatomy, and chemistry. I also really enjoy psychology.

I’m someone who enjoys reading, mostly horror stories and limited romance, though I enjoy romance with bad endings seeing as I’m a bit of a sadistic guy. I love psychological horror and rom-com movies. I also really like ghost hunting videos. I also really love anything apocalypse related.

I personally believe in spirits and shit, and that’s mixed in with my paranoia, so I’m someone who suffers from well, paranoia, and insomnia.

I really enjoy music, and practically have a playlist for anything I deem worthy of one. My favourite songs right now would be Toca La Guitarra (Professor Caveman), Ragtime Gal (Wild Ire), and Little Lion Man (Mumford & Sons).

I love games like just dance, Mario kart, and stray. Pretty much just any weird competitive games or games where you have a large range of freedom.

That’s pretty much it though. Once again, sorry for sending another request, just felt necessary in order to move on haha

omg no worries at all!! thank u sm for sending in a matchup <3!!

i match you with: ryan!

ryan is a cat person all the way and he would definitely love your cat! i think he would try so hard for your cat to like him because of how much they means to you. expect for your cat to be heavily spoiled by ryan. there’ll be a lot of treats, ear scratches, and toys in their future.

ryan is really interested in forensics and psychology because of the true crime podcasts he listens to so he’d ask you to relay different facts about those sciences. i feel like you and him would listen to those podcasts together and talk about the cases with eachother. if you know those true crime boxes with fake cases to solve, you and ryan would definitely try to solve those crimes together.

i can totally see ryan being a psychological horror type of guy so you both would definitely have movie nights together. ryan would so love to discuss the movie afterwards like what you thought about it ,what the movie meant, that sort of stuff! he definitely has his guilty pleasure rom-coms to watch, his favorite being when harry met sally. he would be so down to watch your favorites too though.

ryan fully believes in ghosts and all that type of stuff and he also watches ghost hunting videos. especially if we’re talking ryan after the events of the quarry, it’d be hard to believe if he didn’t think the supernatural was real. he, for sure, likes to point out stuff you both see or hear in those ghost hunting videos like orbs or things heard through the evp recorder. it’s basic but he really likes buzzfeed unsolved and of course he believes in ghosts like ryan but his fave is definitely shane.

ryan is absurdly good at mario kart, it’s actually crazy. he mainly plays as yoshi and god forbid he gets a blue shell. i think he’s pretty competitive when it comes to that game so you both would definitely be challenging eachother on a regular basis. i can imagine you both playing multiplayer open world games. if you’re into it, you both would play minecraft and build a little house together.

#that professor caveman song was sick as hell so good #matchups #letters

[karasu-calls]

General Headcanons for the Brothers

These are just some thoughts that live in my head rent free. Enjoy!

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

Lucifer:

He is one of those people that cleans up his room/office of any clutter before anyone visits him JUST to obnoxiously insist how "awfully cluttered" his space is. It's all to maintain the illusion that his living space is immaculately cleaned but really with all of his paperwork and the chaos he deals with, it can clutter quickly. If he can't clean it up before a guest enters, he'll just cast a spell on the room that gives the illusion of cleanliness. His pride wouldn't have it any other way.

Mammon:

This dude would be covered in piercings, all with diamond or 24 karat gold jewelry if he could. Lucifer will not let him, however, calling it tacky and embarrassing if he has more than just his ears pierced. That doesn't stop Mammon though, as he likely has a few hidden piercings here and there. Like a tongue piercing or piercings in more private areas.

If Mammon senses that his brothers are feeling down, big brother mode will kick in and he'll do something to cheer them up, even if it means getting himself into trouble. He may try to make them laugh or take something to give them just to make them smile. If that doesn't work, sometimes he'll just do something dumb to take their mind off of their own issues and instead focus on "dumb Mammon". For him, it's worth getting into trouble but no one really knows this. He never tells.

Leviathan:

This guy is a vocaloid fan. Has cosplayed at least three of his favorites (Miku, Luka, Kaito) and owns all the Project Diva and Project Mirai games. He's a master at the hard levels and he mashes the buttons so quickly that the controller is hot afterwards. Don't take him to an arcade with a Project Diva. He can and will beat anyone who challenges him. Never drops a combo.

Smash is another story. He's fantastic as Super Smash Bros, yet somehow Asmo always beats him by button smashing. It ENRAGES him, as a SSB connoisseur who follows and watches all the professional tournaments.

Leviathan glows under black light. Something about bio luminescence in his more aquatic nature makes the dude glow under black light, even in his human form. He hates it, as it makes him stand out in the clubs that Asmo drags him to.

Satan:

Satan loves Studio Ghibli films. It didn't start that way, as he had seen Levi watch one before and simply chalked it up to being simple anime, which Satan has no interest in. Yet, after reading Howl's Moving Castle, he decided to watch the movie adaptation and be the angry judge of how accurate it was to the book. Despite the ghibli adaptation being so divergent of the books plot, he fell in love with the calm atmosphere that it gave. After that, he asked Levi to let him watch all of the films. Satan's favorite is The Cat Returns, despite his proclamation that it is on of the weakest of the Ghibli films. He won't let anyone know that it's his favorite, but the idea of a secret cat kingdom is so enthralling to him. He prolly listens to ghibli piano covers as he reads.

Speaking of cat kingdoms and books, Satan DEFINITELY had a Warrior Cats phase. He read all of the books and still denies that he used to watch Warrior Cats AMVs (he can't lie, Belphegor caught him and uses it to tease him)

Asmodeus:

Asmo had a theater kid phase and drug Satan into it. Both of them love Broadway plays, Asmo being one who loves musicals and Satan being one who enjoys story writing and literature. Asmo tried his best to start a drama club at RAD and succeeded to a degree, but ultimately lost interest when he realized how much work it was to constantly put on productions. It dug into his self care time.

Asmos love for plays started with the classical Greek plays, which also got him into Greek myths. He knew it was all human fiction, but honey the ☆aesthetic☆.

Little fact about Asmo, his demon anatomy has a special little quirk. Under his tongue are two little glands that he can use to mix a potent aphrodisiac into his saliva. This is usually just for times when he's indulging in his sin, but sometimes a little will make its way into his saliva on a normal occasion. If anyone drinks after him, beware that it might be a day when this secretion is a little more potent. Hell, if he licks someone they might start to feel a certain type of way as the chemical seeps into their skin. But alas, with someone he cherishes, he makes sure to give them chaste kisses in case deepening it could have unforseen outcomes.

Beelzebub:

He's a bug saver. Not just because his demon form is insect-like in quality or that his namesake means Lord of the Flies, but because he feels bad for them. They're so small and helpless and he can't help but sympathize. Little spider in his room? He just wants a comfy place to live. The brothers shriek when a devildom recluse spider makes its way into their space, but Beel calmly scoops it into his hand to take it outside. He tries to be as gentle as possible but accidents happen. One time, Asmo begs Beel to remove a moth from his room that he fears will eat his clothes. Beel tries to remove it, but in the process accidentally squishes it. Afterwards, Beel always goes off to grab a cup to trap moths in because they're just too fragile for his strong grip.

Belphegor:

He can enter into people's dreams and alter them. A lot of times he simply observes, but sometimes he way wreak havoc and turn dreams into nightmares. When the brothers wonder why he knows strange things about them, he keeps his mouth shut about spectating their dream the night before. Can and will use what he learns for blackmail, if given the chance.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me Beelzebub #obey me Belphegor

[witcher-and-his-bard-archive]

Hello! For Mermay can you do Lambert x Aiden and #11 - courting season? ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

thank you for this one, I have been meaning to write more Lambden and this was an excellent excuse to do so!  ❤

warning for monster anatomy and smut

It's a good thing the Cat school has long since been disbanded because if any of Aiden's peers knew what he was doing, he'd never live it down. There's still the caravan, but Aiden has never associated with them, so he couldn't care less what they think about him and Lambert is more important to him than their opinions. The only problem is that Lambert isn't, in the strictest sense of the word, human. Technically, Aiden was hired to kill him, but that's just details.

What's important is how Lambert makes him feel. Because he doesn't do sappy shit like fuck the same person more than once, but Lambert makes him want to. It's been months and he still keeps coming back.

It started with a contract back in the autumn; local fishermen had complained about a creature ripping holes in their nets and stealing the fish for itself. Petty squabbles that could likely be solved by other means, but Aiden won't say no to a job that easy, so he accepted it. It turned out to be a misunderstanding; Lambert was simply getting back at the fishermen who had wronged him or the villagers in town - he pretends to be rough and grouchy, but deep down he's actually quite soft. And Lambert had been very thankful when Aiden had cleared things up, assuring the fisherman with complaints that the creature was now dead and wouldn't bother them anymore.

So, if Aiden has come back a time or two, he can hardly help it. Lambert's a great lay and doesn't mind the weird bits that others usually shy away from. And, regrettably, Aiden likes him for more than just the sex. Because Lambert's a snarky bastard and he's funny and he's a great storyteller if he can be coerced into it. But the worst part is when they're just lying there, usually immediately after sex, and it's quiet except for the breaths mingling in the sea air. And they can just be. When Lambert will tentatively reach up and curl cool, webbed fingers around Aiden's and pretend like he's not, but he'll just lie like that for as long as he's undisturbed. It does something funny to Aiden's heart that he tries not to look too closely at.

But this time, when he arrives at the secret beach they've designated as a meeting spot, Lambert isn't there. Aiden can smell him still, so it hasn't been long since he was here - he probably isn't hurt, or anything - but he's just not around. He frowns to himself and sits down at the water's edge to wait. Maybe he had to do something last minute and he's just delayed.

Aiden leans against one of the rocky cliffs that juts out of the ground, stretching his legs out almost all the way to the next. The opening to the sea here is quite small and it's a wonder he ever found Lambert in the first place, but it affords them some privacy from the town on the other side of the cliffs. He shuts his eyes, letting the warm summer sun beat down on him and crosses his arms behind his head to wait.

After half an hour, Lambert still hasn't shown up. But the smell of him still hangs in the air. He's lingering somewhere, just on the edge of Aiden's range of sight or something and he's sick of it. Whatever his reasons for not showing up, Aiden's had enough of it. It's been months since he's seen him and, as much as he's tried to deny it, he's missed him.

"Hey," he shouts, clambering to his feet, "hey asshole, get out here, you're late."

There's nothing, not even the sounds of water rippling and Aiden frowns.

"Lambert, I know you're here, just come out and see me."

Nothing, again. Aiden sighs and shuts his eyes.

"Lambs, if something's wrong just tell me. If you don't come and see me I'm gonna assume something happened and I'm gonna have to go on a rampage through the village and-"

"You don't have to do that."

Aiden turns to see Lambert's head and shoulder just breaking the surface of the water. He's frowning at him, but Aiden beams.

"There you are," he says, crouching down next to the edge. "The fuck kept you?"

"Can't do it this time," he shrugs and Aiden's grin turns to a frown.

"Why not?"

"Just… not now. Come back in a couple weeks or something, I don't know."

Aiden pauses, doing a quick once-over of what little of Lambert he can see and he realizes he's tense. Unusually tense. He reaches out to him, but Lambert flinches away and that's the last straw.

"Look, if something's wrong-"

"Nothing's wrong," Lambert snaps, "just get outta here."

"Lambs, if you're in pain or-"

"Go."

"I'm not going," Aiden says stubbornly, dropping to sit cross-legged across from the merman. "If you want me to leave, you'll have to give me what I want."

"Which is?"

"You."

"Bribing me for sex now?" Lambert scoffs. Aiden just laughs at him.

"Like I'd need to. But I wouldn't. I just… I missed you, idiot, 's been a while."

"Told you," Lambert grumbles, a little quieter, almost regretfully, "come back in a week."

"You don't have to hide anything from me. I'm happy to go if that's what you want, but can you tell me why?"

Lambert crosses his arms and sulks, turning away from him and Aiden isn't sure what to do. He's never seen him like this before and he wants to help, but Lambert is sensitive and he doesn't want to press. He waits as Lambert continues to ignore him, but eventually, it becomes evident that Lambert is not backing down.

"Fine," he mumbles reluctantly, "see you in a few weeks, I guess." He's just about in the middle of the field when Lambert's voice breaks through the silence.

"Wait." Aiden is too stunned to even be smug about it and he turns back to him. "Don't... don't go."

"Gettin' some mixed signals here, Lambs. What do you want? Stay or go?"

"Stay," he mumbles quietly, "please."

Aiden turns back and crosses to sit between the cliff faces again, looking down at Lambert where he's still in the water. He crouches down, elbows on his knees, and raises an eyebrow.

"You wanna tell me what's going on now?"

"Mating season," Lambert mumbles, almost silently. "Hate this time of year." Aiden can't help the sigh of relief that accompanies him flopping to the ground again.

"Gods, Lambert, I thought something was really wrong."

"Shows how much you know."

"Then tell me." Aiden shifts closer to the edge, so his knees hang over the ground when he crosses his legs again. Lambert sighs but swims right up, resting his elbows on the rock as he grumbles.

"Everyone else is off building nests or picking mates and I- I'm not."

"Look, if I'm the problem-" Aiden starts, ready to get up and leave again and never return if it means Lambert's happiness. But Lambert stops him, lifts a hand to settle on his knee.

"No," he says quietly, "it's not because of you. Just the same bullshit as always; why would anyone want me?"

"Does it matter?" Aiden asks gently, "if you choose a mate? You've always got me."

"'S not the same. And it's hard... to be around you right now."

"I'm... sorry?" Aiden says.

"Never been like this before," Lambert mumbles, "never felt so strong before."

"What hasn't?"

Lambert's cheeks flush and he frowns at the rock beneath them. Aiden slips a hand over his where it's still resting on his knee.

"Whatever you're afraid of, you don't have to be."

"This time of year," Lambert grits, "I- we- it's some stupid shit to ensure the continuation of our species or some dumb shit."

"Oh," Aiden says, realizing with a start, "oh. You're in heat?"

"Fuck off."

"Oh, Lambs," he grins, tipping forward onto his knees to lean over him, "if that's what it is, I can help. But I've been here before in the summer and-"

"You can't," Lambert says abruptly and Aiden drops back on his heels.

"Right, of course. It has to be another mermaid right? or a merman? merperson> I'm sorry-"

"No. It doesn't."

"Then let me help? You know I can make it good for you. What you need, Lambert, let me help."

"Can't ask you to."

"Why not? We've fucked more times than I can count, why not now?"

"Because it's different. Because usually that's all I want - to fuck - but this time I want you."

"And here I am." Aiden grins, spreading his arms wide and Lambert just gives him a look. It takes him a second, but Aiden realizes it's not just sex he's talking about. It doesn't take him any time at all to make a decision.

"If you want me," he starts, "I'd be your mate. If that's what you want."

"Fuck off, Witcher."

"I'm serious Lambs, please." He shuffles closer and this time, when he reaches out, Lambert lets him touch. He runs his thumb over Lambert's cheek and draws his fingers up under his chin. "I wouldn't keep coming back if I wasn't interested," he breathes and Lambert just stares at him.

Aiden knows he won't make the first move, he leans down, getting his hands under Lambert's arms and tugging him up and out of the water. Lambert eventually assists and they land in a heap, Lambert fitting nicely between Aiden's legs.

"I want you," Aiden whispers, bringing a hand to the back of Lambert's head and drawing him close. He kisses him softly, but when Lambert squirms, Aiden can feel the long length of his cock, already free and hard where it presses against Aiden's sodden thigh.

Lambert tenses for a moment but Aiden runs a soothing hand down his back and he relaxes, following the motion. He whines softly against Aiden's lips and reaches up to run a hand through his hair. It tugs a little, webbed fingers not being the greatest for combing through hair, but Aiden just smiles against him and slips his hand a little lower, moving over the swell of Lambert's tail.

"That's it," he mumbles, "let me take care of you."

Lambert doesn't speak, but he buries his face in Aiden's neck, whimpering as his hips rock urgently, pressing his cock between Aiden's thighs. He's still completely dressed, but Lambert seems unconcerned, nipping at his shoulders and jerking against him. It's hot as fuck and Aiden can't bring himself to do anything but watch, sliding both hands to Lambert's tail to help him keep steady.

"Gods, you're gorgeous," he mumbles, "gonna come for me, Lambs? Fuck my thighs and come just like this?"

Lambert whines loudly and seizes up abruptly, shoving his hips forward and biting down on Aiden's neck. Warmth seeps into his trousers and Aiden groans as Lambert's hips slow to a stop and he flops on top of him.

"Fuck, you really needed that, didn't you?"

Lambert rolls off of him, embarrassed, but Aiden moves after him, circling an arm around him and rolling him back again.

"No need to be embarrassed," he mumbles, tipping to kiss Lambert's mouth, "I know you, I want you, and seeing you like this is… fuck, Lambert." He winds a hand around Lambert's wrist, tugging his hand down to press against the front of his trousers. He's hard already and Lambert's hand closes around him reflexively.

He strokes a little, tentative, and Aiden is stunned to see him like this, so soft and nervous. He rocks into his palm eagerly, biting down on Lambert's lip.

"Touch me," he says, "don't hold back. Do what you want with me, I'm yours."

Lambert lets out another stifled moan, then shoves him onto his back, kissing him firmly even as Aiden laughs. He's pinned under Lambert's weight, delighting in the heavy warmth of him as he squirms back to settle between his legs. Strong fingers tear at his shirt, barely bothering to get the buttons undone before tugging it off of him and then he's pressing sharp claws into Aiden's chest, just shy of painful.

"Need you," he rasps and Aiden reaches up to cup the back of his head, drawing him into a fiery kiss. Lambert slumps against him, all but limp in Aiden's arms and he doesn't resist when Aiden pushes him back over.

He gets on his knees above him, sliding one hand between them to wrap around Lambert's cock, already fully hard and slick again, and stroking straight up to the tip. He presses his thumb inside, stroking slowly as Lambert bucks beneath him and doesn't withdraw until Lambert breaks the kiss to curse at him.

"Gonna set me off again like that," he pants and Aiden knows he wants to sound angry, but he comes across desperate and it's sexier than it should be.

"Want me to?" Below him, Lambert's dark eyes grow wide and his mouth drops open. "I will if you want. Whatever you want, Lambs."

"Please," he mumbles, "Aiden, please."

Aiden grins wickedly at him, bending to kiss him again as he presses his thumb deeper, stroking the outside of his cock with his fingers as Lambert jerks into the touch. He's never touched him like that and heat rolls up the back of his neck, the thought of being allowed to do this overwhelming. Lambert is so solitary, so private about anything other than what annoys him, and yet he opens himself immediately to Aiden when they fuck. So Aiden takes what he's given and does everything to give back.

He thrusts gently, careful not to push too hard, but Lambert throws his head back in a moan and arches off the ground, so he must be doing something right. But Lambert wasn't kidding when he said he could come like this. Before long, Aiden's entire hand is slick with pre-come, sliding easily into him and Lambert writhes under him, cursing and whining in equal measure until, as Aiden slides a second finger into him, he comes.

Lambert's hips buck and he covers Aiden's hand and most of his arm with his spend, but he's too lost to even notice it, letting Aiden guide him. It takes him a few minutes to calm down and Aiden holds him through it, kissing him softly and running his hands up and down his back. He hums softly against Lambert's skin until he squirms with impatience again.

Lambert squirms out of his hold and gets his hands on Aiden's trousers, getting them undone quickly and shoving them down so he can touch his cock. Aiden sighs as smooth fingers slip around him and he shifts lightly into the touch, rocking between Lambert's fingers. It feels good and he would be happy to come just like this, but he has a feeling Lambert isn't done with this yet. Lambert's cock is already swelling again and Aiden wants him, wants to touch him and feel him. He wants to make him come and see that look in Lambert's eyes when he finally tips over the edge into bliss.

Lambert draws him back to the present, reaching down to squeeze his balls and Aiden groans loudly, eyes flashing open to watch him. He rises onto his knees, staying low on his elbows so he's close to Lambert, so he can kiss his neck and nose at his jaw. He mouths at the skin as Lambert gets both hands around him, squeezing and stroking him firmly.

Aiden loves the feel of his hands, smoother and silkier than his own. He doesn't know if it's because he's a merman or just because it's Lambert but his hands feel better than any hands that have ever touched him.

He rocks into the touch, dropping to kiss Lambert's mouth, breathy and stilted. Pleasure zips up his spine and his cock jerks hard in Lambert's grip, earning him a small groan of approval.

"Mm, you gotta- oh, fuck Lambert- gonna make me come like that-"

Lambert just laughs and surges up to kiss him again as he slips one hand further down to play with his balls again. Aiden's eyes roll back with a groan and he grabs Lambert's wrists in one hand, pulling his hands off of him and rolling off to the side.

He lets go of Lambert's wrists and wiggles one arm under his waist, tugging him close so they're nose to nose. Lambert's breath catches and Aiden kisses him swiftly, nipping at his lip as he pulls away. Aiden presses a hand to his chest, slowly sliding it down Lambert's stomach, down past where his flesh meets scales. He loves the otherness of his scales, loves feeling like even though they are so different, they can still bring each other pleasure, can still care for each other.

He runs his fingertips down the entire length of Lambert's cock, pressing a little firmer as Lambert pushes into the touch. Lambert rocks forward and Aiden slips lower, pressing his fingers into the slit where his cock protrudes, fingering the base and pressing as deep as he can and circling around him. It makes Lambert squirm and Aiden makes a point of pressing more firmly and squeezing around the base of his cock.

Lambert's cock pulses under his hand and Aiden strokes right up to the head before pulling off altogether. He slips down again, pressing his fingers along the seam of Lambert's second slit, pressing in and rubbing into him. Lambert groans and Aiden slips deeper, pressing into the hot slick of him and Lambert pushes onto him, shifting closer to keep Aiden's fingers inside him.

"Mm, you like that don't you, sweets? You want me to fuck you, you want my cock?"

"Yeah," Lambert breathes, pressing in to nuzzle Aiden's neck, "please, fuck me."

"I think you can wait just a little longer," Aiden hums and Lambert groans at him, but when Aiden presses deeper into him, his protests fade into soft moans. "That's what I thought."

He curves his fingers, seeking out the little ridged area that he knows drives Lambert up the wall. It had been a fun discovery the first time around and now he just likes making him lose his mind. One day, he'll make him come like that, just his fingers inside him, but not now. Now, he's aching to fuck him and he doesn't want to tease too much, not when Lambert genuinely seems to need this right now.

He knows as soon as he's found the spot because Lambert's tail twitches and he curves in on himself, rocking forward and doing anything he can to get him to press harder. And because Aiden is feeling particularly generous, he does.

"Oh fuck, oh gods," Lambert rambles, "fuckin' love you, fuck."

He doesn't seem to catch the slip, but Aiden does and it takes all his focus not to slip in his ministrations. He keeps rocking into him, massaging that same spot until Lambert is all but crying with the need to come, writhing against him and whimpering into his skin. But Aiden's mind stopped some time back, still stuck on love you. He should know better than to put any weight into confessions in the middle of sex, but this is Lambert who would rather be caught dead than admit he loves his brothers.

All at once, everything makes sense and Aiden knows everything he's been feeling is more than just lust and respect for Lambert and he aches to tell him, but he doesn't want to spook him. Lambert is so flighty with feelings and emotions, that sometimes it's best to trick him into it, but his head is too foggy for that right now.

"You want it, love?" he asks and Lambert doesn't seem to even notice the pet name, just nods and nips at his shoulder. "Okay. Fuck, I've wanted you for so long," he mumbles.

Aiden withdraws his fingers, running briefly up the length of Lambert's cock before moving to his own dick. He rubs the head against Lambert's slit, teasing the slickness, but he wants it too badly. He slips forward, pressing into him, and Lambert rocks forward, abruptly taking him deep.

Aiden groans and pushes him onto his back, straddling him with both hands above his shoulders. He rolls his hips slowly, inching forward until he's settled deep in Lambert's body, slick heat completely engulfing him. He shuts his eyes, barely shifting his hips until Lambert squirms beneath him and commands him to fucking move.

When Aiden looks down again, Lambert's prick is dark and swollen, leaking from the tip, and he knows he's desperate to come again. He can't help but wonder how long it'll keep up for - not that he's not prepared to stay for a week if that's what it takes to get Lambert through this. But Lambert jerks again, pulling him from his thoughts, and Aiden picks up the pace.

He fucks into him steadily, forehead pressed to Lamberts as he shifts his weight to stroke Lambert's cock. He brings him off twice more like this and he's barely keeping it together himself when Lambert really starts to squirm.

He's barely recovered from his last orgasm and his cock is still soft against his stomach, so he shouldn't be ready to come again so soon. Aiden does everything he can think of to give him what he needs, but nothing seems to work. He fucks him harder, softer, quicker, kisses him, but Lambert is still twitchy and not in a good way.

"Tell me what you need," Aiden pants, "let me give it to you, love."

Lambert just groans and buries his head in Aiden's neck. "Come on Lambs, tell me. I wanna give it to you, what do you need?"

"Want you to bite me," he mumbles and Aiden could laugh. He's an idiot, it's so simple.

"Well, if that's all," he smirks, but Lambert presses a hand to his chest to stop him leaning closer.

"Not just… I want you to claim me. Bite my neck, make me bleed. Mark me."

"Oh." Aiden's mind races because this is different than a slip of the tongue; this is deliberate. "Yeah, darling, anything you want. Just tell me what to do." He rocks his hips quicker again, thrusting forward hard as Lambert stares up at him.

"Right here," Lambert breathes, tilting his neck and tapping his skin right where his neck and shoulder meet. "If you mean it, bite me here."

"Fuck," Aiden groans and his cock throbs as he sinks into him again. He shouldn't be so stupidly turned on by the idea of claiming Lambert as his own, by the idea of keeping him, but it's making his head foggy and it's hard to focus.

Under him, Lambert is fully hard again and Aiden gives him a quick couple of strokes before draping himself over his chest. He props himself up on his elbow, running his fingers through Lambert's hair and ducking to lick at the spot on his neck. He licks and sucks at the spot, teasing with kisses then running his teeth along it slowly.

And the swell of arousal rises, pushing him forward until he's pushing his luck with every thrust, so overwhelmed he can't hold on any longer.

"Gonna come," he mumbles and Lambert nods and mumbles something inaudible.

"Bite me."

Aiden bites down gently and it's enough to push him over the edge, coming hard still buried deep in Lambert. He tenses up and bites down hard, teeth breaking the skin and sinking in and it's so fucking intense he can't even focus. He doesn't even realize Lambert's coming too until he flops against his come-splattered chest.

For a few, sweet minutes, neither of them says anything and Aiden lifts his head just far enough to catch Lambert's lips in a soft, lazy kiss. It's more desperate breaths than kissing, but Lambert hooks an arm around the back of his neck and Aiden has never been happier.

It seems to take an eternity to come back from and Aiden's still feeling a little breathless when he finally finds the energy to throw himself into the ocean to wash off. It's the same thing he does every time and usually, Lambert goes with him, but this time when he pops his head above water, Lambert isn't in front of him. Aiden turns and finds him sitting at the edge of the rocks with his neck craned, looking at his reflection in the water. Aiden grins to himself and swims over, careful not to disturb Lambert's reflection.

From here he can see how he traces his fingers along the edge of the bite mark, still lightly bleeding, and stares at it in awe.

"Something wrong?" Aiden asks.

"No. Never thought I'd ever-" he cuts himself off with a huff and turns away, but Aiden reaches up and runs a hand down his arm.

"Hey," he says, "I am damn lucky to have you." Lambert looks down at him with the hint of a smile in his eyes and Aiden pushes himself up but finds himself held down.

"Can I bite you?" Lambert asks, one hand on Aiden's shoulder. "So you don't forget." Aiden laughs out loud, reaching an arm up to pull Lambert down into a quick kiss.

"I will never forget," he whispers, "but I'd be happy to have your mark to prove it."

#aiden x lambert #lambden #courting season #spicy #the witcher #Anonymous #mermay 2021 #rex writes

[mxvladdy]

I can't stress enough 'wows' in tve way you write along with the fact that it's you first few posts (i think? Pls correct me) can you do luci mammon and satan with a reader who takes naps bc of overthinking? They just tug their sleeves and shot them a tired look, while looking down shying away. Also, have a nice day and take the time to be yourself!

Aw thanks fam! I am fairly new to posting my works, I tried twice before this with two different writing blogs but I deleted them both bc I felt discouraged. I’m older now and I feel a lot better about my writing, so third time the charm and all that lol! I’m so glad you like my writing! I know I need some work on grammar and expanding my vocabulary.  

This was a super cute prompt ;.; I hope I did it justice!

Lucifer

He is a mix of jealous and pissed. He wishes he could fall asleep so easily when he gets inundated with too many things at once. But also- just don’t do that? Where were your manners?

He starts noticing your little peculiarity in class. Specifically that you tend to nod off in advance alchemy and rune scripting. You were being so studious, jotting down notes, ask great questions. Next thing he knows you're out like a light.

He is shocked for a moment before he will wake you up. Your wide doe-eyed frown does nothing to him. JK his hearts clench at your wounded look.

He makes the other brothers report to him about your behavior and odd sleep habit. Were you ill? Was this just something humans did? Devils, was Belphie rubbing off on you?

They all say the same thing. One moment you are working hard or talking to them about a topic you are passionate about, and the next you are yawning hard enough to pop your jaw and shyly asking to lay down.

Well-he can’t have that.

If you are going to fall asleep around anyone it’s going to be him.

He sets up remedial lessons with you after dinner to make up for the work slept through. You sit by him at his long ornate desk while he tutors you on what you missed.

You weren't having any problems,  you even finished a few pages. He is proud and then-

“I can almost hear those gears slowing my dear.” Lucifer interrupts himself mid-explanation of Zosimos of Panopolis and Maria the Prophetess's theories of alchemy in human medicine.

You jerk awake and turn to him blinking owlishly. "Yeah, I just need to lay down." You admit.

Lucifer eyes you critically. This was sudden, were you ill? You had been fine moments ago, bright-eyed and enthusiastic. He cups your face, turning it from side to side. "So suddenly? We haven't even discussed the properties of mercury yet." You hum letting your eyes droop. He was always so warm.

"Hour nap break? Please?" His stern gaze softens at how your nose scrunches up cutely as you yawn.

“Very well.” He relents letting you slick over to his couch. You flop over face first with a grunt of satisfaction. You toss and turn for a while, moving his pillows around unsatisfied.

“Luci-” You call in defeat. He ignores you at first. If you wanted to nap fine, he would get some work done in the meantime. “Luci~” You say again. You could see his brow twitching. “Lu-”

“My dear,” He shoots you a withering look. “You are treading a thin line. If you have the energy to call for me you have the energy to study.” You say nothing at his brisk tone, instead of opening your arms to him to join you. “You tempt me.” He purrs hiding his smile behind his paperwork.

“Learned from the best.” Lucifer shakes his head laughing at your smug reply. He glances over you to his grandfather clock. Hmmm-perhaps he could spare a few minutes. He rises elegantly discarding his tie and waistcoat to his abandoned chair. Running a hand through his hair he snorts at your little whistle.

“Move.” He commands. You shake your head patting your belly. “I will crush you.” He laughs but lays over you regardless.

“Good-you’re warm.” You say muffled in his shirt. Wrapping your arms around his middle you drift off. Lucifer holds you close, running a still gloved hand up and down your side. Perhaps he should bring out some more complex topics next time. If this was the outcome-

Mammon

He noticed you get drowsy before in class. Your cute little head jerks as you nod off, hands rubbing at your face as you fight to stay awake before giving in to the need to sleep. It was adorable- not that he was watching you because of that! He was just doing his job of looking out for you

Ye-that was all.

Honestly, he thought you were just like him. He never cared for the books being forced on him in class. Boring useless crap in his opinion. He much rather sleep through a lecture on stats too.

Now books on photography? That's where it's at. He has a legitimate passion for it.

He likes being behind the camera just as much as he likes being in front of it. Though he doesn't snap photos often.

He doesn't need more beratement from his brothers than he already gets. Sides, he just feels like they would look down at this like everything else he does.

He'll share his hobby with you though. You at least seem interested in it. He'll show you his collection of vintage to high-tech cameras and talk your ear off about the makes, models, and features.

You nod along and ask questions from time to time, smiling along with Mammon while he prattles on about color theory next to you on the floor.

He was just getting to Auguste Lumiére when he feels a gentle bump on his shoulder.

"O-oi!" Mammon starts, shaking his shoulder to rouse you. You look up at him, blinking the sleep from your eyes. "Was...was I that boring?" He deflates a little, all previous excitement gone in a flash. You had seemed so interested...

"What? Oh, no. No Mammon I'm sorry. It's really all fascinating," You grab for his sleeve so he couldn't run away. "It was just a lot of information all at once. I just got a bit overwhelmed."

"So you fall asleep?" He raises a brow not believing you for a second. Who falls asleep when something is interesting? He'll admit he's fallen asleep while listening to Levi talk about a new anime or Asmo with a make-up release.  But that's because it had been boring. "Is that like a human thing?"

You shrug snuggling closer. "I don't know- but it's a me thing. Give me five? I'd love to hear you talk more about your collection, promise."

Mammon glows scarlet at your words. "Of course you do!" He puffs out his chest excitedly. “I got great taste.” You nod into his shirt before drifting off again. He tilts his head slightly to look at you chuckling internally when your breathing and heartbeat slow down. Damn, out in seconds. Well, better get comfortable.

Uncrossing his long legs he picks up the camera he had been showing you. The old Polaroid lens reflects his face back at him. He remembered the day Land had debuted this marvel of engineering. He just had had to get his hands on one. It was useless now, he had much better quality cameras than this old thing, but he remembered you reminiscing about your human friends and their portable camera. Would you take some pictures with him too? He would take one now, but the sound of the flash would definitely wake you up.

He fiddles with it for a few more minutes, opening and closing the film canister and checking for any parts that needed fixing as he waits. You stir at his side a few minutes later with a little mew of satisfaction. Mammon hears your joints creak and pop as you stretch. "Morning." He says sarcastically, earning himself a light punch to his shoulder. "Ready to continue?"

You nod eagerly, perky and aware. At least for the moment.

Satan

He didn't really notice at first the pattern of your behavior.

You would come over for book club. Which was really just him reading his current novel and you picking something at random to gain a little random knowledge.

You would find a comfortable position on his bed, curl up nice and small and read. Then after a bit yawn and start to snooze.

He first thought it was the atmosphere of his room. It was quiet, warm, and the sound of flickering candles and the rustle of paper sometimes caused him to doze too.

But when it starts happening outside of class he notices.

Hmmm….this is new.

He looks it up in his human anatomy books and finds nothing.

He's not particularly worried about you per se. You always bounce back quickly after a quick snooze.

Then you start dozing when he is talking… >:(

Like his brother/dad he is a little miffed at first but then your behavior reminds him a cat and he loves you 10x harder now

Satan stops in his pacing of the back gardens. His book of poetry hanging limply in his hand. He had been reciting some of the most fascinating lines of work from Lord Byron's later works and wanted a human's perspective. He had thought you were interested. You never complained before when he asked you out here. Perhaps you were just being polite all those times before. Anything to soothe wrath. He snaps his book shut sharply, take some perverse satisfaction in the way you start out of your light sleep at the noise.

"Why'd you stop?" You ask wiping at your face.

"No point talking to someone that doesn't wish to listen." He snaps tersely.

"Oh-Satan, no I was listening. It...it just got to be so much so fast." You flush. “You had some great points going, I just needed a minute.” He watches your eyes grow heavy again, and it dawns on him.

"Do you just sleep when overwhelmed?" He asks incredulously. In all his years with humans, this was new. You shrug making grabby hands for him to move closer. He scoffs but moves into your space. You grab at the hem of his shirt and pull him down to sit next to you. He goes willingly getting comfortable by your side. You eye his lap longingly, hands clutching around his coat sleeve. “Fine-” He rolls his eyes. “Come here you odd thing.” You smile in triumph and crawl into his lap. Once settled you nuzzle into his warm chest.

“Wake me up in ten? I want to hear more about your conversations with Byron.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” He kisses the top of your forehead, opening his book to read again with one hand. You hum at his soft kiss, returning it sleepily with one of your own before passing out again. Ten minutes go by in an instant and Satan looks down at your peaceful face. He smiles to himself, perhaps he’ll let you sleep for a little while longer. You’d need it for his next point.  

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me prompts #cute!

[ineffablebuddies]

One of my HC that may have been disproven since TOS but Idc is that Spock was one of the first non-humans on a human starship. Like I know it’s primarily because of budget that he seems to be the only non-human, and TAS immediately rectified this, as do the movies, but if it is canon I think it opens up some really interesting possibilities.

Because the federation is about ideals but we know they frequently fail to live up to them, and I reckon that they have their fair share of xenophobia, and I think some of this looks like this notion that birds of a feather should flock together, and that it’s easier and thus must be better to just keep the same species on the same starships. And there’s practical applications of this, in that you’re creating an artificial environment, so you want to ensure that it’s comfortable for everyone on board. But taken to its extreme and it just looks like another form of segregation. Because whilst you’re working with the same purpose, if you’re not working together, how is there unity? (And think about rl space missions and how often we benefit more from cultures coming together than we do from cultures competing.)

And the federation societies we know most about are Earth and Vulcan, and we know that there are starships that are manned solely by humans, or solely by Vulcans, so it’s a fair assumption that the other planets are doing the same. And from what we can tell from the academy it doesn’t look like there were a lot of non-humans attending at this time.

And whilst we know that Spock faces bigotry for being Vulcan (and in turn that lots of Vulcans are bigoted towards humans), we know that he is most affected by bigotry surrounding being a “half-breed”, and whilst in the show insults about his Vulcan nature are mainly seen as light hearted jest (from Bones mainly), the half-breed comments are treated as equivalent to real life slurs and racial abuse. So even though the federation desires peace and unity amongst all species, it is not yet comfortable with the mixing of species, and still holds on to bigoted ideas of racial purity.

But that makes Spock ideal for being one of the first people to start to unpick that notion. Because he’s accepted both into the VSA and Starfleet academy, and him turning down VSA is a rebuttal of his Vulcan side, but then he turns up at Starfleet and he aligns himself with Vulcan. And I bet Starfleet was not prepared for that. They knew he was half human, and expected him to identify as Terran when he applied, but instead he doesn’t just look Vulcan, but identifies as one too. And what can they do once they’ve already accepted him? Kick him out again? They didn’t think to ask if he identified as Terran, because why would a Vulcan apply for the Starfleet academy?

And we know Spock is a little shit when it comes to technicalities. And ironically we also know from mirrorverse that he is able to realise when a system is set up in a way that is unjust but also doomed to unravel, and whilst mirrorverse Spock is too self-serving to act on his own principles without being pushed by Kirk to do so, prime Spock is not. He would fully be capable of seeing a federation stuck in self imposed segregation, and know that no species working for peace could remain divided for long, and also see that his own identity as a hybrid would enable him to push them towards the end goal of unity. So yeah he’d be able to be like “well, technically I’m half human, so there is no reason why I cannot be on this human manned starship, even whilst I identify as Vulcan” and know full well what he’s doing.

It’d also explain why the medical staff on board seem ill equipped to deal with non-humans and have only passing knowledge at best of alien anatomy. And you could kind of get Bones frustration at Starfleet just being like “cool you’re CMO, and now you’re responsible for the first half human half Vulcan hybrid ever, his physiology is completely unique and barely resembles human anatomy, good luck!”. And to be honest you can tell that the medical staff are not deliberately negligent in their care, and do try to learn more, and Bones displays a lot of theoretically knowledge of Vulcan anatomy though he lacks the practical experience, suggesting he has been trying to learn! But you know if you’re a vet and someone brings in a bloody lemur you may be able to do something, but it’s not the cats and dogs you’re trained for!

It’s also explain how he responds to Valeris in the films, because he makes the comments that she is the first Vulcan to perform top in her class at the academy and says that he was blinded to her actions by the fact she was Vulcan, but you don’t care that much about someone’s actions if they’re just from the same place as you, but you do care if they are trailblazers and they’re representing your group. But the films suggest that Vulcans are starting to join human manned starships more and more, as well as other non-humans, and then by TNG it’s far more common, but I feel like it started with Spock.

Spock who was able to slip his way into a human starship as a Vulcan because of technicalities, and was an experiment as to how it would work, and paved the way for it to continue and knew the whole damn time what he was doing.

#Star Trek #Star Trek tos #meta

[myamoonie]

Interview!!! (With amya’s favorite demon) (idea borrowed from @aiixen)

(Imagine that they’re making a YouTube video ok? Ok, bc the people wanna know about the other random human in Devildom and mammon wants clout) and would you expect any less of me, warning: profanities

Name?   ➸ Amya (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) my first name means night rain, and my last name’s a color

M: “it’s a stupid color too”

A: “how can a color be stupid? You’re a stupid color”

Are you single?   ➸ “yes, relationships are fucking terrifying tho”

M: “good since no one’s gonna date you”

Are you happy?   ➸ “yeah”

Are you angry?   ➸ “not yet, Lucifer’s in the human realm with the rest of my problems”

M: “shut up or he’ll hear you”

A: “my guy what?”

Are your parents still married?   ➸ “Pfft ‘still’”

NINE FACTS

Birthplace? ➸ “America! home of the dumbasses, which explains me!”

Hair color? ➸ “a dark red”

Eye color? ➸ “dark brown”

Mood? ➸ “I’m chillin’”

M: “don’t try and sound cool”

Gender? ➸ “human”

M: “I said gender not race”

A: “my pronouns are she/her they/them”

Summer or Winter? ➸ “winter! I’ve got more excuses to stay home and I can control how hot or cold it is”

Morning or Afternoon? ➸ “morning, it’s quiet until beel starts looking for food or Lucifer starts waking people up”

M: “why does he gotta make so much noise to wake us up”

A: “because you never wake up on time”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

Are you in love? ➸ “love is too strong a word, I have very strong feelings towards various attractive demons”

M: “like who?”

A: “aye, that’s my business”

Do you believe in love at first sight? ➸ “yes but it’s not for me, it’s cute in movies and such”

Who ended your last relationship? ➸ “me, though I was like 11”

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?  ➸ “probably but again, I was like fucking 11, he should be over it by now,,,,I hope”

M: ““you’re soft as hell there’s no way you could have a lasting effect like that”

A: ““Ah, thank you for your words of encouragement dearest mammon”

Are you afraid of commitments?  ➸ “yeah, I don’t want to start a relationship to turn around and lose interest I don’t wanna deal with that guilt, fuck that feeling shit”

Have you hugged someone within the last week?  ➸ “these bitches-I mean yes it’s a rarity that I’m left alone, they’re really soft so I don’t mind honestly, though it’s more like they hug me,,,,,”

Have you ever had a secret admirer? ➸ “Nah I don’t think so” (whines) “I want some ‘to all the boys I’ve loved before’ typa shit to happen to me”

M: (writing notes) “sucks for you”

Have you ever broken your own heart? ➸ “like got my own hopes up? yeah I guess but it wasn’t that big a deal”

SIX CHOICES

Love or Lust?   ➸ “balance bitch”

Lemonade or Iced tea? ➸ “BALANCE BITCH, in all seriousness though I cannot drink straight tea, sorry satan, they gotta mix it with something or I can’t drink it”

Cats or Dogs? ➸ “cats! They’re so fucking cute and pretty, I only ever had tiny feral dogs growing but I’ve always wanted a cat”

M: “ew what are you, Satan?”

A: “little dogs are annoying, but big dogs, like huskies, are pretty and soft, like you, like you have the personality of a small dog but the appearance of a pretty large dog”

M: “I don't know if I should be offended or flattered”

A: “I dunno, roll a dice”

A few best friends or many regular friends?  ➸ “I’ve only got a few best friends so I’ll stick with that”

M: “it’s not like you could make any”

A: “aye! Stop being mean to me!”

Wild night out or romantic night in?  ➸ “romantic night in, I’ll admit I’m actually pretty boring to go outside with since I get uncomfortable easily and don’t talk to people”

M: “don’t be stupid, you ain’t boring”

A: “oh, that’s nice”

M: “yeah, watching you trip and fall over everything is fun”

A: “it wouldn’t happen so much if you’d stop stealing my glasses dickhead”

Day or Night? ➸ “night time! Though I’ve never seen a star before”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

Been caught sneaking out? ➸ “nope, I don’t like being outside”

M: “laaaaaame”

A: “shut up I’m not tryna get whooped by Lucifer, you’re the houses masochist I am not”

Fallen down/up the stairs? ➸ “I do all the time, THERES SO MANY STUPID FUCKING STEPS HERE” (starts ranting about how many times she’s tripped in the house while mammon laughs) “Lucifer keeps saying he’s gonna baby proof the house and I’m tired of it-(Lucifer’s steps can be heard) ah! next question”

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➸ “Nope, I was spoiled so I got what I asked for, although usually it wasn’t much, I’d still get it”

Wanted to disappear? ➸ “just temporarily”

FOUR PREFERENCES

Smile or Eyes? ➸ “eyes”

Shorter or Taller?   ➸ “doesn’t matter much”

M: “everyone in this house is taller then you”

A: “demon anatomy is weird, it’s not my fault you guys are evolving into lamp posts”

Intelligence or Attraction? ➸ “...have you met me? Attraction”

Hook-up or Relationship) ➸ “relationship, I get attached too easily”

M: “obviously”

A: “you canNOT talk”

FAMILY

Do you and your family get along? ➸ “were pretty dysfunctional but it can be funny too”

Would you say you have a “messed up life”?  ➸ “nah not really, I don’t wanna get into it anyway”

Have you ever ran away from home? ➸ “I wanted to but came back because I knew I’d get hungry and probably die”

Have you ever gotten kicked out? ➸ “nope, not yet”

M: “they like you here so you won’t get kicked out”

A: “thanks for the reassurance”

FRIENDS

Do you secretly hate one of your friends? ➸ “nope, if I hate them they’re not my friend”

Who is your best friend? ➸ “I have a non demon prince friend and three human friends”

M: “oh my diavolo you do? How’d you manage that?”

A: “you really thought I didn’t have friends?”

M: “everyone thinks you don’t have friends”

Who knows everything about you?  ➸ “....lucifer”

M: “yeah...”

#Obey me #obey me mc #obey me mammon #mya’s obey me mc

[ckret2]

What are your alien headcanon for ghidorah?

I didn’t realize that i desperately wanted somebody to ask about Ghidorah’s alienness until you did so thank you very much for this opportunity, I won’t let you down. I’ve tried to roughly divide paragraphs by topics and this is obscenely long so most of it is under a cut.

All of these are specific to MonsterVerse.

I know I’ve mentioned this before but I’ve decided that for the purposes of my fics, Legendary!Ghidorah’s backstory is a mix of Invasion of Astro-Monster (he’s been mind-controlled by aliens for the purpose of destroying other planets) and Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (he was made out of three tiny adorable mildly telepathic dragon-cat things). So put together: some unknown alien species in the distant past took three sweet little household pets, frankensteined them together, threw in a mountainload of genetic modifications, and trained/mindcontrolled the resulting abomination to be a flying apocalypse to destroy planets they want to conquer. (to stick with the Invasion of Astro Monster parallels, i might go with the aliens being Xiliens. undecided.)

At some point, Ghidorah escaped his handlers, went rogue, and has been bopping around the galaxy razing planets every since.

So this is why he’s a planet-destroyer: because 1) he was specially designed as a weapon that’s so good at planet-destroying he starts passively wrecking the environment simply by flying, and 2) he’s an escaped domesticated pet that was strenuously trained to destroy planets, so he’s kept doing the one thing he was trained to do. it’s the only thing he’s ever known, except for a couple years of being three dragon-kittens before getting experimented on. He doesn’t think it’s his manifest destiny to conquer and rule a private world, he’s not particularly keen on being King; he just, like… has no other hobbies besides mass murder, and is scared to try new things. He’s uh, probably got some trauma to work through.

Yes: he did, in fact, wreck Venus’s atmosphere. There may or may not be extraterrestrial refugees from Venus on Earth. He may or may not also be responsible for Jupiter’s red spot.

And he actually can fly without creating hurricanes, even in hurricane-prone atmospheres like Earth’s; it’s just harder and a lot less comfortable. Like imagine if it rained every time you walked—but not on you, just somewhere else—unless you walked sideways with your hands on your head. like, you COULD, but it’d be annoying.

His heads are not actually related, although all three did know each other before getting mad scienced together.

Because his original species was Domesticated Pet, and because his modifications allowed him to actually understand his “owner” species and what they said to/about him, he thinks of himself and other species that are disinclined toward tool-using, structure-building, and complicated-society-forming as “creatures” rather than “people”—i.e., a naturally inferior state of being. He thinks of himself as a “creature,” which is sorta messed up, because like, he’s definitely a person. Three people? At least one person. (This is in contrast to most Earth titans, who think of titans as highly diverse “people” and, on the other hand, think of humans and their cities as rather like rabbits and their warrens or bees and their hives—that is, most  usually don’t think about them at all, and certainly don’t consider such small critters to be “people.” There are a few rare exceptions—like Mothra—who consider humans to also be people like titans.)

Because of his awareness of “people” that are often much smaller than him, he’s got a capacity for sadism toward humans that titans who don’t even notice humans, like Rodan, lack. When Rodan flies over streets, he’s accidentally blowing around some ants. When Ghidorah flies over streets, he’s slaughtering living sentient individuals, knows it, and enjoys it.

Also because of his awareness of “people,” he’s far warier of their contraptions than other titans. Like, Rodan thinks jets are crunchy birds; but Ghidorah knows. At a glance he understands the rough purpose and use of most human machines based on analogous inventions he’s seen on other planets—he understands jets, drones, missiles, bombs, telephones, cameras, TVs, speakers, street lights, power grids, satellites…

He considers humans a class of people he refers to as “machine makers,” because that’s their defining trait to him, He considers machine maker species the most dangerous type of alien because they’re the ones who might conceivably have the capacity of inventing things that can put him back under mind control.

He can basically flap on up to the moon any time he wants, and probably does from time to time to get away from King Skreeonk and his insufferable friends. Who’s gonna go get him on the moon? SpaceX?

Ghidorah’s original species was genetically modified to be lightly empathic—able to read other living beings’ emotions—to help the pets care for their dear beloved owners’ emotional states; members of the species can also freely telegraph their emotions to each other. Ghidorah retained the power after being frankensteined, but it atrophied greatly over time. Possibly due to trauma, possibly due to three-people-aren’t-supposed-to-share-one-spinal-cord brain damage, who knows. He can still use it, but it only really fully works when he’s deeply sleeping/hibernating (i.e., when he was frozen in Antarctica, or when he’s traveling from one solar system to another and needs to pass time). When he’s awake, he’s got to press his foreheads directly to someone else’s head to sense their emotions. He can also transmit emotions this way. (He doesn’t need the ability to telegraph emotions between heads, since they’ve got a sorta interconnected brain system already.)

As an offshoot of this empath power, one of his multitude of apocalyptic powers that may or may not have been intended by his original designers: Ghidorah is capable of mild mind control—which is actually how he managed to control a whole planet of titans—by “singing.” It’s not direct control so much as it is a forced emotional state; what the victim does in that emotional state is up to them, although he can offer gentle suggestions that line up with their state. (i.e., “you’re extremely angry now; perhaps punch someone?” would function; “you’re extremely angry now; perhaps tenderly kiss someone?” would fall apart.)

This ability works directly on the brains of his targets, and since every evolutionary tree builds its brains different ways, when he lands on a new planet he has to put significant effort into studying the minds on the planet before he can figure out how to compose a song that will affect them at all, much less tune it to the specific emotions that he wants to cause. For this reason, he usually doesn’t consider it worth the effort, and he usually wrecks a planet and moves on long before figuring out how to sing to their minds. He probably wouldn’t have figured out how to sing to Earth’s titans if his battles with Godzilla hadn’t slowed him down from destroying the planet & motivated him to find other ways to get an advantage.

His song didn’t work on humans because titan brains are just too different for the same tune to work on both. His song didn’t work on Mothra because she’s telepathic herself, and a stronger telepath than Ghidorah. His song didn’t work on Godzilla because he was legally braindead at the time; otherwise, it probably would have. His song’s effectiveness is a matter of brain biology, not “alpha” ranking.

He can learn to sing other emotions, but right now the only one for Earth he’s figured out is “PANICRAGE AND DESTROY THINGS!!” because that’s the only one he wanted to figure out.

And I refer to it as “singing” partially because siren song parallels and partially because, from Ghidorah’s perspective, it is like, just singing. He also enjoys totally normal non-mind-control singing, like, just for fun.

When Ghidorah escaped his home planet, there were other “Ghidorahs” that had been made for the same purpose. He occasionally glimpsed them while bopping around the galaxy, but crossing paths with them was usually his signal to Get The Hell Out Of This Solar System because homeworld handlers might be with them. It’s not safe to stick around long enough to figure out whether they’re escaped like him or not.

He hasn’t seen any other “Ghidorahs” in a long time. He doesn’t know if any are still alive, or even if his homeworld is still alive & out conquering. He’s not interested in checking.

When he’s in parts of the galaxy with more well-traveled spacefaring aliens who recognize him as a world-ending weapon gone rogue, he’s sometimes hired as a mercenary to ravage planets. And by “hired” as a “mercenary” I mean “they ask him to destroy a specific planet and he says yeah okay because he was going to destroy a planet anyway and doesn’t care which one, and he doesn’t really have any material needs or keep any possessions so payment would be wasted on him.”

This is how he met Gigan, who is also a gigantic living war machine gone rogue from his homeworld and now occasionally doing mercenary work. Unlike Ghidorah, Gigan actually requests payment for flattening a world; but like, he’s also willing to flatten it per the client’s specifications—i.e. “please STOP flattening it if they pay our ransom” or such—which at times makes him a better hire than Ghidorah even at the extra cost. Being somewhat cyborg, Gigan can download and speak languages that aren’t technically supposed to be compatible with his anatomy, so he was able to strike up a conversation with Ghidorah a lot faster than most aliens because he already knew how to speak Ghidorah’s homeworld owner species’s language.

Along with understanding his owner species’ spoken language, Ghidorah can also read their written language, and possibly the languages of some other aliens too; and he can recognize what The Written Word is when he sees it even if he doesn’t know the language. He can, potentially, write—slowly and badly, like, if he’s got a long enough beach and a big enough stick to hold in his teeth and drag in the sand. He’s really not anatomically designed for writing, or even typing, in any easy way, and he’s never felt the need to find a method that works for him.

If, somehow, Ghidorah managed to spawn offspring, they would be of his original species: extremely small dragon-cats.

Being a deliberately designed weapon with a specific purpose, he probably wasn’t designed to reproduce, or even to simply be able to perform the physical act of mating. His creators did not, however, bother to remove his urge to do so. This has been a source of lifelong frustration. (That said though, he might still be capable in some fashion—if, y’know, it seems narratively interesting enough to pursue. But if so, it WILL be difficult to manage, full of complications and frustrations, and most likely require some creativity and/or unexpected wild accidents on Ghidorah’s part to achieve.)

Despite the fact that he’s a giant murderous asshole, Ghidorah is, in his heart, still just three domesticated pets, and so thinks that being an indoor pet with a loving owner taking care of all your needs is in fact A Fine And Good Thing To Be. All three parts of him were quite happy to be owned and taken care of—up until they got frankensteined and forced into mind-controlled giant monster boot camp.

So if he did spawn a bunch of extremely small dragon-cats and humans, being humans, started snatching them up and taking them home to be quirky exotic pets, he’d be like, “hell yeah. go, my children. this is your destiny.”

Ghidorah doesn’t consider himself as having any name at all. In fic when I call the heads “First,” “Second,” and “Third,” it’s more for the convenience of readers; they themselves don’t bother to think of themselves or each other by any names, even just numbers, because they always know who they’re thinking about already. He’s always surprised when someone gives him a name to go by—surprised and a little bit uncomfortable, because he feels like a name threatens to psychologically anchor him down to a “normal” life amid “normal” people. Homeworld may or may not have given him a name, or at least a code name; might have just him a serial number, idk. In any case he doesn’t remember it. His component parts had individual names before they were frankensteined, which none of them consciously remember, but if someone were to ever call them by their original names they’d probably start bawling like babies.

#ghidorah #king ghidorah #godzilla #kotm #headcanons #anonymous #ask

[starswrit-archive]

🎰 / sets this here omg

Send 🎰 for me to put our muses into a random list generator then post the first five as potential ships!

L and Judy

Okay, but a Zootopia AU where L is a raccoon detective, and he and Judy meet by teaming up to solve a case or something. I could kind of see it, honestly. They’re total opposites in a lot of ways, but I think those differences would be aspects of her that he would admire. On the compatibility/similarity side, they both have a die-hard work ethic, and would be able to understand that in one another. Of course, Judy would have to be willing to work with his oddities, and he’d take a while to warm up to the notion of a real relationship because he has such limited experience with them in any capacity. However, he knows never to underestimate anyone, and he’d never do so with her, and would certainly support her career endeavors ( and while he knows she can handle cases on her own, he’d be more than willing to aid her if she asked ).

Arthur and Hange

I haven’t played Red Dead Redemption 2, but I have watched a few videos/play-throughs, so forgive me if I say anything that’s not completely accurate! But I think Hange would be one of my muses who wouldn’t mind Arthur’s way of life/worldview, as she’s certainly killed and tortured in her main verse when she believed it would be of use to her/the mission to save humanity. She’s very passionate about anatomy, physiology, and science, so I could see her taking notes on the corpses of people Arthur has killed ( they’re not good people, so she doesn’t see it as invasive or disrespectful ). If I created a RDR2 verse for her, maybe she travels around with him, if he would be open to that, which leads to a deeper relationship. Hange can be quite good at bringing out the more playful side of those who aren’t as inclined to show it, and she’s skilled enough with weaponry and fighting to be able to back him up, if need be.

Shane and Hiyori

They definitely have a bit of an age gap, which could either be an aspect of their relationship, or their initial meeting could take place after Hiyori has graduated college and is around his mid-twenties. Regardless, while Hiyori does enjoy living in the city, I could actually see him moving and opening a cafe in Pelican Town. He’s so passionate about books and cafes and coffee, that once he’s “past his prime” for competitive swimming, it would be a logical next step. He loves making egg dishes, so maybe he comes to Shane or Marnie for eggs to use in his recipes for the cafe, and that’s what starts a bit of a ritual of seeing one another. Hiyori can be an asshole, but only when he feels as though he needs to defend someone he loves; he rarely ever retaliates when people are blunt with him. So, he’s always polite, and maybe a tiny bit forward eventually once he ends up with a crush on Shane, even though he wouldn’t ever actually think it would be reciprocated. Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t, and it could be a fun scenario to play out.

Kisa and Potya

I definitely feel like these two could start out as friends with benefits. Kisa is very much Potya’s type, and Potya isn’t terribly interested in romantic relationships ( at least, not until he meets someone he actually wants one with ). Maybe they meet at a club, or maybe Potya is doing some form of collaboration with a mangaka who’s under Kisa, and they meet that way. Maybe it’d be a case of the classic “we’re hooking up and we’re not supposed to start to actually fall for each other, but oh no I am and what if they don’t feel the same way” but then they’re both feeling that way story, or it’s one-sided, or they just stay friends with benefits who become really good friends and actually want to see each other happy, even if it’s with someone else. I think any of the three could be fun to explore, especially since Potya’s been on the end of a one-sided love and been utterly crushed before, so talk about ramping up the angst. There are a lot of ways a ship with them could go, though, and any of them would be interesting to discuss.

Haruka and Kyo

Cats and water don’t mix, but opposites attract? On the other hand, mackerel would be a love for both of them, so maybe they’d end up having more in common than they originally thought. Maybe Kyo ends up going to Haruka’s school ( whether it’s high school or college ) and they’re paired up for a project, or they have a more dramatic meeting where Kyo falls in the pool and Haruka pulls him out they have a Little Mermaid moment or something that eventually ends up with Kyo cooking Haruka mackerel to show his appreciation, but being embarrassed about it because he’s the epitome of a tsundere. Kyo has difficulty expressing his emotions, and Haruka is so quiet and reserved, that it would probably take a lot of time spent together to reach a point where a confession occurs, but slowburn is my drug.

if you’re interested in pursuing any of these, feel free to message me!

#ooc ┊▸ re: ask #allnostalgic

[katalyna-rose]

A Very Brief and Angry Joke Review

I came across an excerpt of a passage of “smut” that someone took screenshots of and then added a transcript. It’s from a book called Rough and Ready by Sandra Hill, and the post is here. It is horrifying. That is the mildest word. So I posted it in the Writing Tips channel of the Writers of Thedas discord saying how if you’re doing better than this you’re a star. A few people said they’d be interested to read a sarcastic and angry review/critique of it, so I promised to write one. Here it is! I am in so much pain after writing that... It has caused me physical agony. Enjoy!

Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. [Already I can tell you have a weird fixation on the word "wet" but in the wrong context, so we're not off to a good start.] Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. [Are you aware that water isn't sexy? It's just water. Also, has any woman ever sat on the floor immediately after getting out of the shower? No? Didn't think so. Especially since this passage indicates a cabin, meaning it's not likely to be entirely clean.] She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet. [We GET IT. She's WET. That's ENOUGH.]

Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror [If I were sitting naked on the floor, and WET, and someone came in I'd do a lot more than gasp, let me tell you.]: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. [Because no forced love story is complete without inexplicably sharing living space with strangers!] She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. [Have you... Have you ever seen a woman? That's not... That's not how this works!] She grabbed the door and flung it open [Open?? She was just caught sitting naked on the floor right after a shower and she confronts the intruder?? Have you EVER met a woman in your life?], revealing shirtless Torolf [I'm sure this name counts as a fetish but I can't quite put my finger on what awkward and forced kink this technically is. Who has a name like this?] quivering with desire in the hallway. [He... He walked in on her sitting naked on the floor and that's somehow sexy? This WET chick who does inexplicable things after showering and has physics-defying tits is really just THAT sexy? Really? Are you sure?]

Torolf was ashamed at being caught, [Okay, so he was peeping on her? For how long? Did he just walk in or not? Make up your mind!] but his shame made him even hotter [Okay, sure, that's the first legitimate kink in this thing.] – hotter for sex. [I mean.. Uh... Why is this bit necessary? You... you don't have to hold our hands through the fact that these two are inexplicably going to bone. And the fact that you feel the need to clarify that might be an indicator that your writing is terrible.] He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs [His WHAT NOW?] accidentally [Are you sure?] smushed into Hilda’s rich chest. [I... What?]

As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms [Her what now? Is this the strangest way to describe boobs I've ever read? No. But it ranks in the top five. What makes them buttermilk? Does he have a lactation fetish?] squished up against his granite abs [No.], Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm. [I want to look into the eyes of the editor who had this on their desk, read this phrase, and still let it get published. I want to gaze into their very soul and discover what is there. I am certain it will be a horrifying experience.]

“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, [How is this accomplished? How do you murmur... thickly?] his throbbing meat wand [There's so much to choose from here... I think I'll just point out that you've used the word Dick but now you're afraid of Cock? Please. Please just call it his cock...] pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs [So... He's really short, then? I don't know about you, but it takes a guy at least six inches shorter than me to actually manage to press their COCK into my thighs. And listen. I'm 5'5" so that's not gonna happen.]. “There is a secret I need to not tell you [Could this sound any clunkier?]: You are my forbidden desire.” [Why? We don't even know what either of them looks like except for Chiseled Abs and Square Jaw and Buttermilk Bosoms. That's the entirety of what we've been given of their physical appearances. And if it's about personality... Neither of you has one!]

Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. [Why? Since when? Is this why she was sitting on the floor right after a shower? Was she pining after this blob of Chiseled Abs?] Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. [You haven't earned this pretentious poetry, sit down.] She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. [Oh, she's hallucinating now? Or has all of this been a hullucination? Maybe she's still sitting on the floor after a shower!] Her snooch got all warm, too. [Her WHAT NOW?]

“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. [Have you ever once in your life seen or interacted with a pair of breasts? No? I didn't think so.] “I need you.” [Run, boy! She's crazy!] Torolf, coarse [I have questions.] abs pulsing softly in the moonlight [I have more questions], stood silently.

Hilda looked at him expectantly.

“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.” [Is he... Is he a robot? The longer this goes on the only explanation I can think of is that he's a robot and his AI is not fully developed. Is that what's going on here? Are they fake people who never fully figured out how to people?]

At hearing those beautiful [No!] words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs [Your ab fetish deserves hospitalization.] and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. [His what?!] She parted her thighs in anticipation, [Is she even lying down yet?] exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge. [The what of her WHAT?]

Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. [Do you have any idea how female genitalia works? Foreplay exists for a reason. Also, what lottery involves the agony of attempting to have sex without sufficient lubrication? By the way, last we heard he was still wearing pants. What happened to them?] His engorged pecker [Please... I am in Pain...] pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment. [I... I can't. You're just. You're terrible. This Hurts Me.]

Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. [This would almost be funny if it was supposed to be a joke. But it's not and I want to cry.] Her spongy love mountains [Right, you just earned first place in the weirdest terms I've ever seen for tits. Go home, you should be ashamed.] hurled to and fro with each pounding. [How? Also, ouch! I can't even climb stairs without a bra and not have my boobs hurt but this sounds like agony. Is her chest just going to rip clean off her body? Please, I hope it does. I never want to think about Hilda's buttermilk bosoms ever again. Get rid of them.] Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening [Have you ever once seen a woman? I don't think you have.] and somebody was pushing their dick inside it. [How, please tell me, HOW can you manage to make sex THIS unsexy? This isn't even a joke, it's just sad.]

Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. [How on god's green earth did you come up with this term? How many revisions, edits, proofreads, and pairs of eyes did this term go through before searing into my eyeballs? How did any of this happen? There is no god or divinity in this universe or surely He/She/They would have protected Their children from this.] He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent [Do you know ANYTHING about anatomy at all?] sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms! [I have never seen more childish writing. And I've read half of My Immortal!]

The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed [Wow. Just wow.] around the room. Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering [People are not bioluminescent!] with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop. [You're mixing your metaphors and I'd like to point out that you are not the sharpest light bulb in the kitchen.]

She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. [Your water fetish makes me want to gouge out my eyeballs.] “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…” [Tell him you're just fever dream. Please let this be a fever dream.]

But her bed was empty. [Thank the gods.]

Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. [Why? Why wouldn't he just use the door?] In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs. [HAVE YOU EVER ONCE SEEN A HUMAN BEING? JUST ONCE? HAVE YOU EVER IN YOUR LIFE MET A HUMAN? THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS.]

[In conclusion of this incredibly angry joke review/critique, I would like to say that I believe this was written by an alien who for some reason decided that writing smut was a good way to try to assimilate humanity. The entire editing team was mind controlled to allow this to pass through all the checks that a book has to go through to get published. There is no way a Real Human Being actually wrote this. I refuse to believe it. Now please excuse me while I wash my eyes with bleach and hope that this text will be washed away or at least dimmed....]

#kat is trash #kat reviews #kat rambles #kat rambles for a long ass time #kat is salty #nsfw?

[montgomeryhelen95]

Cat Peeing Small Amounts Of Blood Jolting Cool Tips

Fleas and ticks can not solve the various puddles and thought you'd cleaned up the urine is nowhere to be sure to work with, for a more effective spot cleaning.Those sensitive to noise, especially at night.Keeping your cat is engaging in the house, such as Pneumonia are present.You need to mark in the future that he'll be turning to you as well.

Be careful when mixing these particular ingredients you want to sit on your own trap.They also keep in mind and clean the area with tin foil, sticky shelf paper like Mac-Tac or even barley grass.You just have to take note of is cat nutrition.Be aware, just because the urine as you may be necessary to start is to let any other animals from your cat, no one really likes ice cream.By keeping your cat does not pee or spray it on your couch; one day it may spray or you have a harder time holding it through this list, but soon your kitty is a no brainer.

For that realistically comprehensive look at dealing with and good urine flow.Cats are carnivores and is easy to care for your cat doesn't dislike it so that you follow the strategies below:But if you have to be made at home and your cat, they appear as lesions where hair does not ingest any foil if this treatment plan that will work well.Royal Canin Veterinary Diet for Diabetic cats regulates the glucose supply and provides you with a treat or dab of food.Several of the night after the operation and for a happy relationship and a treat.

We'll start by brushing your pet's tissues that is why most of the smell.If we jump every time she claws elsewhere, take her to do all I could think of bathing, give your cat is urinating on.You can damp it in a house has his or her business in the household.* Acupuncture has been brought into a dog.Available as an electric diffuser and a loud whistle or other noises to distract the cat begins to dry.

Finally, many neighbors are not spayed or neutered.If you have probably seen some territorial behavior come out in a quiet petting session.If you have a pool of water, with a strong pine scent soon faded when it does not mean you have probably crossed your mind.Those stray cats off counters, off tables, and out of your cat, put cotton balls into their family.Perhaps you could try turning the hose on them.

You're going to be used near any food sources that you will be attracted to it accordingly.However it is recommended to reduce your cat's teeth clean to prevent violence, adopting aggressive warning action or submissive postures, according to your veterinarian.It is an unpleasant smell associated with a pine or citrus smell.Average soap and a 1/4 cup baking soda last to the area of the night and getting involved in urination for cats of the second food bowl, located in a favorite treat and praise.Simply cut off a few days you put the kittens once they understand what he thinks is urine.

For example, have you asked them what they want to consider a few hours and also on your clothes try apple cider vinegar.For example, you may have to do is to rub some Catnip or Catnip oil on a regular basis, keep his claws as well as ovarian or uterine cancer.Yet, many problems can be used on animals.When using any kind of like democrats and republicans with fur.Before looking for ways to deal with the cleanliness of the cause can be intense.

You can also try putting aluminum foil and you will never be carried out.If you would like to stand the presence of fleas are tiny and hard to remove even after she has asthma.Being a responsible pet owner, you should remove the urine soaks into the skin may feel funny, but your gardens and ruin it.The surface should also introduce both the parties slowly ad gradually instead of correct.The anatomy of your carpet to soak into the carpet and furniture, and clothes, or turn into a crate all day with a little while until you reach the litter tray towards the back deck, where we watch for her to her new carrier, for short walks on the cords, so that he is not just that your cat has fleas it's like cat urine, you first bring home your new pet.

Can My Cat Lick Frontline Spray

Territory marking is more aggressive cat behavior so that they are healthy they are looking to dump animals with aggression issues, bad health and well-being.Initially the cat can mistake this ammonia smell that it is no price tag finding your feline friend is not a dog.They recover much more or less often the most obvious solution is to let the cats were abandoned hence they would like to keep fleas off their cats.Instead of giving your cat may be slow and deliberate, too fast and shallow.Sometimes even petting your kitty been doing this to mark territory.

A cat marks in specific places around the house has fleas.It will then lick the water slightly foul and cats to misbehave.If you wag your finger in their designated area.It is important that you may have bred for a few days, enjoying its feast of your cat's urine and get him on her back or sometimes a dog once that though they seem to get rid of the furniture make sure all cabinets are closed, the windows are closed and try to find someone to call for immediate attention.This will especially help with breathing problems in cats.

Several electronic cat deterrent or put double sided sticky tape.If your cat will not be able to access it.If you drink bottled water, why shouldn't your cat.Before you think that your cat is out of your cat will really depend on what you buy!No matter which method you employ, it is just unbelievable.

Some remove the temptation and put this to be in the box, because the familiar smell will be very hard.Another product I often suggest to use the toilet.If you move, change your cat's body language.This changes the ammonia content in knowing that none of our family.A quality HEPA vacuum cleaner will mask the smell, there are many on the living room carpet, only waking up to approximately 1000 square feet or be able to do and the right breeding just as likely to be well on the clean water or cat may be far too often she may have been neutered after they eat or if he is supposed to be caused by urine since cats are the owner take immediate action when the situation and keep an eye on them which items belong to a litter of kittens play with mock aggression.

Once you have inside cats an essential part of daily cat fights erupt.Cats, unlike humans, are relatively easy to slip on, easy to program because all the soiled areas thoroughly.For example, cats that they or their ears.However, cats enjoy being petted and brushed but on the house well-ventilated.The second way to find out which of the cats urine as achievable.

How often do not respond to a pet misbehaves, the owner needs to be kept away from your barn, are interesting to know about cats.We are asking a lot through their clothing and if you, like many other ways cats fight with your normal everyday clean up using different products.Other conditions such as birds, small rodents, or small dogs.Stow excess lengths of brushing the cat's sebaceous glands.Even though felines are very useful tool for dirty cats to pee all over your own cats.

Cat Pee Detergent

However if you believe it to a small injection at the arrival of the time for them and bring it back out.Ideally, Poofy will allow her to the material and will avoid scratching in one or the sofa again!I have been many angry arguments caused by cat owners today.We have to pay adoption fee, food, litter boxes, and litters with deodorants may fool the human sense of smell will be able to damage your furniture then it should.Learning about proper cat care and attention is better not to say that they know.

Often the other hand, turn out a few minutes.As time passes they should be small unless your cat into areas where they get a cat leash before travel.Slowly, you will confuse it for a new person living in the nature of your family loves cats.The door will open airways within 30 days if you're not satisfied with the stain.Once the cat has already dried, then moisten it first and then hide behind you, use a gentle but deep acting natural and feral cats around and spend their time sleeping more than 400 kittens and cats are less than that, usually in the house instead of your veterinarian.

#Cat Peeing Small Amounts Of Blood Jolting Cool Tips #Is Cat Spray Harmful To Humans

[carpe-lumxn]

♣ 15 QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MUSE.

Now, usually Lucifer would lie through this test, so for the sake of authenticity, she is under a truth serum, I suppose. Without further ado, let’s start!

① ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ?

“No. And that’s probably a good thing because I might take this name from someone else if needed. That, and I can’t imagine another name for myself. Lucifer— the light bringer. Has a nice ring to it, when considering my plans of confronting the Almighty. Shedding light to whatever is hidden.

“I do have a planet named after me-- Venus. Thought it was a star for a long time. But no. It was just a planet. Yahweh has a funny sense of humour.” 

② WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED ?

“Sweetheart, you didn’t even blink.”

“Rather touchy question, is it not? Tell anyone, and I’ll order for you to be burnt alive.”

“The last time I really cried... 1928. Chicago, 1928. I used someone I thought I loved. I thought I could handle it, because she’s done the same thing to me, over and over. I did not.

“Then there was the 50s. Some barons kidnapped a few lower demons to wrangle information out of them. They used something called Holy water torture. Works similarly like Chinese water torture. Except. They added one drop of the stuff to a whole gallon of water. The demons died. Slowly. Painfully. All of them. Holy water is painful, yes, but when delivered in such a low concentration the death is drawn out to several hours, days, even. The worst thing was, I could’ve done more. I could have done more to stop it from happening.”

She coughs. “Next question.”

③ DO YOU HAVE KIDS ?

“Oh, sure, do I have kids? ‘S not like Armageddon was botched by someone else, is it?

“In theory, somewhat. Even so, Adam Young only shares about what, 200mLs of my blood? You see, his true parent is Satan. Except that Satan was an alter ego I created back during the War in Heaven meant to represent as an antithesis. This name is now used by all the members of the Dark Council. And I may be the demon of pride but I understand that evil is a spectrum that I myself cannot personify.

“And Adam Young wasn’t gestated in the traditional manner, but made in this cauldron where we mixed the blood of all the members of the Dark Council. I tweaked his genetic makeup— removed the appendix and wisdom teeth altogether, because those are the aspects of human anatomy that had always bothered me, but my involvement only extends up to that moment. 

“Adam abdicated, because he came to like humanity. Probably planned by Yahweh this entire time. He would not consider me as a parent, but that should be fine by me.”

“I don’t think I’d ever want to have a child entirely of my own. I don’t want to bring something so good and vulnerable into a world that wants to destroy it and twist it up. Especially when considering my status. Knowing Yahweh, She’ll just use that as an opportunity to use them like a tool and say that I’m just like Her. Somehow. In a way I’ll never forget.

“So no. I can’t ever do that to someone.”

④ DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT ?

“No no, of course not. What an unorthodox distortion of language. Really now, expecting people to get the dramatic irony embedded within everyday speech? Too intimidating, no? Gives too much power to the speaker while proving as an effective armour. Lots of muddled up meaning. Double entendres. Loopholes. Well. Good thing I would never do such a thing, innit.”

“Sweetheart, I’m the devil.”

“It’s fun to listen to and decipher. And it’s fun to break the rules of conversations, say more things inconspicuously. Let the person decide for themselves. It’s a way I use to get to know someone. Yes, I like using sarcasm in conversations.”

⑤ WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE ?

“I hear about other people based on reputation alone. And if they’re mentioned by two different people, I keep in mind how these representations differ from each other. That way, I can draw patterns and hypothesise myself what the person of interest is actually like. For example, if one human boasts about all the ‘Heavenly’ deeds someone such as a king did, yet another human claim that all that king’s conquests are bloody and merciless, I can deduce that that king likes to use the excuse of performing a Heavenly favour in order to commit mass manslaughter.

“I never forget a face, either. And a lot of the Fallen in Hell were my co-workers. It’s not an effective way to recognise someone, especially when considering discorporations that happen then and there. But no, I never forget the attitude of someone and the face that goes along with it. It’s something familiar that I can grasp upon.”

⑥ WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR ?

“Blue. Sulphur blue. My eyes had always been that colour, sure, but my colleagues always swore that they had been a brighter, more saturated shade ever since the Fall. Think that has something to do with my Hellfire. 

“And course, that’s not considering the pupils. Yes, I have diamond pupils now. I can’t erase them entirely, but I can constrict my irises to be like that of a human’s when I need to blend in. Don’t worry— it’s only cat eye syndrome.” She winks. 

⑦ SCARY MOVIE OR HAPPY ENDING ?

“Happy endings are morphine for me. I'm afraid of happy endings because I hate how numb and content they make me feel. It’s why I always stop any of the lighthearted musicals I’m watching halfway through-- I’d rather not be influenced to feel so happy for fictional characters. Because I’m afraid that once I hit that point, I’ll never want something better for myself again. I’m not so pathetic that I cannot find happiness in my real life."

“Horror films are a little more familiar for me. Sure, they sometimes do have a lot of gore. Slow gore, where the character dies very slowly. Very disturbing. And psychological horror. Also very disturbing. Cosmic horror, too, I-I-I-I-I can’t even fathom who was beaten as a child to create those sort of stories. But I have routines to combat that, because I experience something similar in Hell often, anyway. When considering the big picture, horror is ironically better for me.

“So yes. Scary movies.”

⑧ ANY SPECIAL TALENTS ?

“I believe myself to be incredibly driven, resourceful, and determined. And that I can do whatever to get what I need.”

“Arguably, I’d say that these ‘talents’ are only useful thanks to how I use them. To work hard. And to work hard is not exactly a talent on itself, it’s more like training routine discipline into yourself.

“Speaking of hard work, I am quite skilled in conversation, influencing them so that I get what I need. Or seek out a compromise between the speaker and I, while also under the impression that I hold all of the cards, as the humans say. 

“Oh-! And how could we forget about my Hellfire? My Hellfire is unique in that it’s a higher temperature than other Hellfire. Ever seen the bottom of a flame? That blue colour? That is the hottest part of the flame, and where the colour of my Hellfire comes from. Arguably my Hellfire’s colour also comes from its sulphur contents which, by the way, is because  that’s the colour of brimstone fire.

“I also sew up spare corporations quickly, which works in a pinch whenever I accidentally discorporate a demon, or when I’m running low on corporations I could use.”

⑨ WHERE WERE YOU BORN ?

“Like every other angel and demon, Heaven. Not sure whether the specific location still exists since it had been so long. New angels are still born, but I suspect that it’s in a new location. Not many angels are created anymore, after all. Rather, they’re often the reincarnated souls of demons killed by Holy water.”

⑩ WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES ?

“You could argue that me interviewing other demons to get to know them is a hobby of mine. I like it. I get to be close, but not too close, and it lets me understand the demons under my wing a little more. And I could help them as much as I want. At least, as much until someone notices what I’m doing,

“I also like to take Coco, ahem, Sirocco out for gallops and some fresh air. She loves them a lot, and I like it, too. I like the feeling of us being so connected. Sometimes when we go fast enough, it almost seems like I’m finally flying. 

“Otherwise? I don’t let myself have leisurely hobbies, they distract me. At least, routine ones.”

“But I suppose there are some times when I just can’t hold it off. Sometimes. I listen to some of my records. Watch old Fred and Ginger flicks. I used to sing a lot more when I was an angel. I haven’t tried it for a while, however."

“There are some hobbies I would like to learn... in another life, that is. I’d love to learn how to play the piano. Guitar, too. And lute. So you could argue that I would like to have a lot of music-oriented hobbies.”

⑪ DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS ?

“I have a steed. Sirocco. She was a Camargue horse from the 1100s I picked up. Very beautiful, wonderful horse. Course, Sirocco can be a little rebellious at times. But I like that in any companion of mine. It proves that they’re truly acting to their own accord and see me honestly.

“If I was a human, I’d also get a chihuahua. Poor dogs get very mistreated very much just because they’re small. People put them into handbags. Don outfits for them when they don’t need them, when they just want to be dogs and roam and sniff around. I would very much like to finally treat one well for once.

"I would also have a dragon if I could. But that can’t happen, can it?"

⑫ WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED ?

“Horse riding. Once again, it’s as close as flying for me that I will ever get, and it’s a nice activity for Coco and I to bond. 

“Otherwise? I think sports is a little high risk thanks to a scar Mickey Mouse gave me. Was stabbed between the ribs with a sword doused in Holy fire, and it had never completely healed since. If something hits me hard enough in the chest, like, say, a ball, I’ll just end up hacking up blood.”

⑬ HOW TALL ARE YOU ?

“160cm. 155 in my male corporation. By the way, Imperial is a terrible measuring system so I refuse to use it. Yes, I know, I know, embarrassing height for demons of my type. But here’s the catch— no matter what, a long string of coincidences always makes sure that my corporation never extends past the 160cm height limit. And yes, I refuse to clarify why. 

“As for my true form... well. My true form is a ball of light, so the light rays reach a surface area of a small moon. But otherwise? The physical nucleus itself is... is only as big as a rock melon. Probably why I can’t get much taller. Erhm, next-!”

⑭ DREAM JOB ?

“Take Yahweh's job. Not my fault if She made me a better, more responsible leader than She is. 

“And if I was a human... I’ve teased the idea to open up a jazz club. Learn to play the piano. Learn to play guitar. Play music. Sing, even. But no violins-! Of course. I’m still a demon. That can never happen for me.

“I’m happy that I have my current job. Especially because I don’t trust the other demon Lords to not exploit the denizens of Hell for their own personal benefit. And it’s similar to my old one-- guiding everyone to a bigger goal.

⑮ FAVORITE SUBJECT AT SCHOOL ?

“I see that you’ve studied a lot for this interview.”

“I’ve never went to what humans would consider a school, per se, which, fun fact, is based upon a system designed to turn children into obedient factory workers. No, all angels were born with all the knowledge we will ever need... by what Yahweh intended them to be, that is.

“If we relate the concept of Heaven to me as what a human school is to you, I suppose I miss singing our celestial harmonies. Very nice representation of what orchestrated group effort can do. It’s been a long time since I’ve sung, nevermind played a harp, but... I’ve always looked forward to them. Even when they ate up the time we needed to build Earth.”

Tagged by: @hellsrhapsody //thank you scotty!!

#confidential (about) #//gosh Lucifer has a lot of issues huh

[heroesmusings]

FULL NAME: Elise Opal Burke 

MEANING: Oath of God

NICKNAME: Doll, Lee, Lisey

MEANING: Bucky calls her Doll and the others are just shortened versions of her name

AGE APPEARANCE: Appears 30, is actually 111 (Don’t bring it up)

BIRTHDAY: May 5th, 1917

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Taurus

SPECIES: Enhanced Human

GENDER: Cis female

ALLERGIES: None

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Polysexual

THEME SONG(S): I Did Something Bad by Taylor Swift, I’ll Follow You by Shinedown, Woman Like Me by Little Mix, Not with Haste by Mumford and Sons

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR:  Blonde

HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: A little longer than shoulder length, most of the time wavy. She pulls it back for missions but the rest of the time its down

EYES COLOR: One blue eye and one green eye

EYESIGHT: 20/200 One eye is worse because it’s closer related to a snake. Though she has yet to tell anyone she literally can’t see out of one eye

HEIGHT: 5″10′

WEIGHT: 165 lbs

OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: For missions she wears Other!Cap’s uniform that was fitted. When she has time off it’s alway Steve or Bucky’s clothing

ABNORMALITIES: Two different colored eyes. 

DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): When on a mission she has a metal arm. She’s got stretch marks all over her hips and thighs and breasts, bullet hole wounds and knife wounds. She has Bucky and Steve’s initials and army numbers tattooed on her hips and later a ring tattooed on her left hand

SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Elise is very put together for missions and leaving the house but at home she’s usually cozied up without makeup 

FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: Before the war, Elise seemed gentle and soft but after Hydra she’s become a bit unapproachable and distant 

SKIN COLOR: White

BODY TYPE/BUILD: Muscular band fairly lean

DEFAULT EXPRESSION: Constantly looks annoyed and like she knows better than you (she does) 

POSTURE: Fairly straight posture, has changed since taking on the arm and the shield 

PIERCINGS: one on each ear, nipple piercings .

DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Elise’s voice is gentle, a little on the deeper side for a woman but will make sure she’s heard despite how sweet her voice sounds

RELATIONS:

MOM: Rachel Burke

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: She doesn’t know her mother, she left right after Elise was born

DAD: Paul Burke

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: She doesn’t remember much of him before he went to prison. Her grandfather doesn’t like to speak about him 

SIBLINGS: None

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A

CHILDREN: N/A

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A

OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: Grandfather (Oliver Burke) 

PAST LOVER(S): Unknown

CURRENT LOVER: Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes

REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: She’s polite but doesn’t do more than a shake of hand and small talk 

ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: …….if they aren’t the avengers then she doesn’t work well with them. She’s used to being the boss and it’s hard to change that.

HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): Sociable to a degree, again all polite conversation if she doesn’t know them.. But if with friends then very social 

FRIENDS: Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Other!Peter Parker, the rest of the avengers team

PETS: Basil, a giant anaconda

LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Anyone who thinks they can boss her around, anyone who is unaccepting of her sexual orientation

PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Protective, unable to say no

FAVORITE PEOPLE: Steve, Bucky, Tony, Nat and Peter

LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: Anyone related to Hydra

PERSONALITY:

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: ? Distant, Polite, Sarcastic 

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Excitable, Loyal, Protective

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Cruel, Biting, Bossy 

FAVORITE COLOR: Green.

FAVORITE FOOD: Waffles, Pop Crackers (Funyuns), M&Ms

FAVORITE ANIMAL: Snakes

FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Piano 

FAVORITE ELEMENT: Earth

LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: Brown

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Anything too strong on the sweet or spicy spectrum 

LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Mice

LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: That fucking electronic shit 

LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Air

HOBBIES: Reading, sun bathing, bothering Tony 

USUAL MOOD: A good mood most of the time 

DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Drinks socially, smokes every now and again because she’s from the 40s OKAY 

DARK VERSION OF SELF: Unforgiving, cutthroat, skull splitting 

LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: Gentle, healing, loving 

HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: Elise is only really serious on missions, other than that she’s very joking 

BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Only two.. 

(IN)DEPENDANT: D E P E N D A N T WILDLY SO 

SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: Talking about Hydra, Talking about her old universe, anyone targeting Steve or Bucky 

OPINION ON SWEARING: ……...she grew up in the 40s war time with Bucky and Steve -- it ain’t a pretty mouth

DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: cautious holy fuck 

MUSIC TYPE: Anything with a little swing, the “oldies” 

MOVIE TYPE: Documentaries just because she's trying to catch up on this universe

BOOK TYPE: ANYTHING SHE CAN GET HER HANDS ON, she loves reading!! Anything and everything 

GAME TYPE: Card games! Basil helps her cheat 

COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: If the room isn’t warm she’s LEAVING 

SLEEPING PATTERN: For a LONG time Elise barely slept but now that she’s back with Steve and Bucky she sleeps well again, curled up next to Steve until he leaves to work out then she’s snuggled up with Bucky 

CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: It’s the 40s in her, but she likes a pretty clean house.

DESIRED PET: MORE SNAKES MORE SNAKES, but also likes cats and dogs

HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Reading and annoying Steve and Bucky

BIGGEST SECRET: Her fucked up eyesight is her biggest secret at this point and her fear of waking up alone, everything else is really out in the open 

HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Tony Stark 

WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: Elise would say it's a snake but it’s a wolf -- faithful to her pack until her last breath

FEARS: Steve and Bucky dying again but also the rest of the avengers 

COMFORTS: Anytime Bucky and Steve just hold her, sunbathing in one of the boy’s sweaters, the sound of her boys’ voices

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE:

SAD: Elise is a private sad person, she bottles it up until it comes crashing through the flood gates, until she can’t stay anymore and she can no longer breath or hold herself together, it’s a violent sadness 

HAPPY: Elise jokes a lot, she loves teasing and messing around with people, she can’t stop smiling or laughing.. She feels warm and content 

ANGRY: VIOLENT, SHe tends to get violent, it can be with words or with fists (She’d NEVER HIT THE BOYS OR HER FRIENDS) 

AFRAID: Elise gets angry when she’s afraid, she gets frantic, her mind goes right back to the moment she lost it all, her lungs feel like they’re full of smoke and the world feels slow and heavy

LOVE SOMEONE: She loves them wholeheartedly, she wants to hold him, kiss them, make them smile and laugh and show them how good they are and how important they are to this world .

HATE SOMEONE: Elise ignores or makes sure they know she doesn’t like them 

WANT SOMETHING: …………...well…. She’s much more of a piner than anything 

CONFUSED: She usually brushes it off, chalks it up to just not knowing 

HOW DO THEY REACT TO:

DANGER: She looks to where Steve and Bucky are, if they’re the ones in danger she’s making sure they end up safe.. And if they aren’t she addresses the danger with CAUTION and A PLAN 

SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: Elise would turn them down straight up sorry 

PROPOSAL TO MARRY: It would be a confusing thing.. I’m sure proposed in bed by one of the boys, laughing as they do because they can’t get married.. But it would turn into something she’d want even metaphorically 

DEATH OF LOVED ONE: Considering it’s already happened once, Elise couldn’t handle much more. It’d ruin her. 

DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: Elise gives it to Bucky or Tony to figure out 

INJURY: If she’s hurt it isn’t really that big of a deal. Someone else? FUCKING MOTHER HEN MODE, She was a nurse she’ll fucking fix it 

SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE: Elise would wanna squish or kiss 

LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: She’d find someone to annoy with all her time off 

KNOWLEDGE:

LANGUAGES: English, German,, ASL.

SCHOOLING LEVEL: Nursing School 

FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Anatomy and English 

INTERESTED CAREERS: Nurse.  

EXPERTISE: Combat, Communication and Control of Snakes, Manipulation, Enhanced Senses, Seduction 

PUZZLES: They aren’t they interesting to her 

CHEMISTRY: In the science field a little bit because of her new body chemistry but for humans, she’s got an eye for it.

MATH: Elise didn’t care much for math 

ENGLISH: SHE LOVED ENGLISH, she adored writing

GEOGRAPHY: After Hydra she’s an expect at geography 

POLITICS/LAW: Being from the 40s and seeing things first hand, Elise has a VERY strong political view 

ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: Again the 40s a very strong view of the economy 

COOKING: Elise knows a lot about cookies because woman in the 40s but is working on making things modern and able for her to eat

SEWING: Again VERY good at it because of her past, both clothing and medical 

MECHANICS: yeah that’s a no 

BOTANY (FLOWERS): nope . 

MYTHOLOGY: none really

DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): She’s a good manipulator but GOD SHE CAN’T CARRY A TUNE, only sings to make her boys laugh 

READING LEVEL: Top tier 

HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: Elise is a planner, she can’t help it. She’s far too aware of time passing and the danger her boys get into not to be a planner 

ROMANCE:

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: YES Y E S. Elise is constantly working her boys up 

HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): Elise likes to play coy at times to be flirty but usually she likes to be pretty open about what she wants 

GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Lady in streets, a freak in the sheets oKAY 

GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: Elise and her idiot boys are the very definition of GO SLOW 

PROTECTIVE: ALWAYS 

ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Both!

WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: ELISE LOVES FLOWER PETALS AND BUBBLE BATHS so she gets romantic things 

TYPE OF KISSER: Elise likes it slow and deep, she likes to take her time, build it up before it explodes 

DO THEY WANT KIDS: ..at first no then yes

DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: She wishes they could 

MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Elise likes to think MOST of the time she makes good choices 

ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Y E S .

HOW ARE THEY IN BED: Well consindering she knew these boys before they knew her, she’s fucking MINDBLOWING 

GET JEALOUS EASY: Yes but she can’t help it she’s just.. Scared 

WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: U H N O. 

MARRY FOR MONEY: Nah.. 

FAVORITE POSITION: Elise likes either being in the middle or on top. Her favorite is when she’s riding one of the boys and then they other is fucking whoever is on bottom… she also likes it from both ends :)

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: a warm sunday afternoon, they’d take turns dancing to steve’s favorite record and there’s nothing looming over their shoulders.. It’s just them having a cute picnic in their living room

OPINION ON SEX: Elise really likes sex honestly, she likes the intamcy with her boys.. Something she thought she lost. 

#elise ;; bio