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chaoticbardlady99 · 5 months

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I Wondered If I Could Come Home? (Astarion x F! Reader)

Synopsis- It’s been 4 months since you last saw Astarion and 3 months since you killed the Netherbrain with your other companions. Shortly after, you settled down in Silverymoon to begin a life out there and try to push Astarion out of your mind- except it can never be that easy. You shortly discover you are pregnant with his child- a child that could kill you during childbirth. Scared and alone- Shadowheart stays with you to help you deliver the baby and keep you alive.

While out at the local market, Shadowheart runs into Gale and invites him over for dinner. Gale has unexpected company.

CW: Pregnancy, mentions of potential death during birth, mentions of nudity, mentions of NSFW smut

To my fellow DND fans- no this is probably not canon compliant, yes I’m upset about that, but look I really needed to write this so sue me I guess

Author note- Self indulgent, I have baby fever, but don’t want a baby fic. I’m unsure of how long this will be or if it will have more parts-it depends on how angsty I feel, but I need to have like six different ideas to think about at a time soooo 😂

*This hasn’t been edited ✨well✨so please forgive me

*again, no fucking clue who’s picture it is, but it sure as shit isn’t mine so if it’s yours- reach out so I can give credit!

You keep yourself propped up against the sink in the kitchen as Shadowheart holds your hair out of your face and dabbing away the cold sweat that drips down your neck.

You are really sick of being morning sick. It’s absolutely the worst thing in the world- well besides your potential death from carrying your little girl inside of you. You sometimes think Astarion may get his wish- you may just die screaming.

You dry heave one last time- not a single thing comes up because you haven’t kept a single thing down since two mornings ago. Your morning sickness is inconsistent and comes on with little to no warning.

It’s been five months since you conceived this fricken kid, but it was like all the symptoms hit after you killed the Netherbrain.

A part of you really wishes you had somehow known before then- maybe it would have changed the cruel fate that ended your relationship with Astarion. You were literally pregnant in the middle of fighting Cazador. You think about what he last said to you all the time and just sob hysterically- like it happened yesterday.

A deeper part of you feels abandoned, but you blame yourself for him leaving. You should have been more convincing or maybe you shouldn’t have flat out told him no and explained why in the hells you didn’t want him to ascend.

For example- you didn’t want to lose him to some evil version of himself.

Ironically, you lost him anyway and are pregnant with his fucking child who insists on occasionally making you miserable.

Despite your inherent sadness, anger, and sickness, you find you are actually quite excited to meet her. You haven’t settled on a name yet and Shadowheart has been very helpful in regards to making sure you are healthy and strong for delivery. She’s your best friend and you could not be more grateful for her.

“I’ll go back to the market today and get you more of those herbs,” Shadowheart says quietly when she talks to you, “they seemed to help last time?”

You nod- exhausted and your head is pounding. You and this kid are going to need to have a serious conversation. You will not be letting a second Acunin make you miserable before she is ever born.

Shadowheart guides you to your bed upstairs, standing behind you in case you get hit with a wave of vertigo- which usually happens post vomit episode.

You pull your curtains closed- thankful that the desperate hope in your heart led you to buying black out curtains. You close your door and lay down on your bed- tears spilling down your cheeks freely.

You miss him terribly. You shouldn’t. You should positively hate him, but everyday of this pregnancy makes you ache for him. You should be doing this together.

You know it’s hormones- the weepiness, the intense longing, and the Gods awful horniness. Dreams are the worst. You wake up a squirming disaster at least three times a week with your skin burning hot with memories of Astarion touching you.

You are happy that isn’t the case currently, but the weepiness sucks too. Remembering how he used to curl around you, the way it felt to have him kiss you on the forehead, and all those late night conversations with (now empty) promises. You curl yourself around your pillows, willing your imagination to pretend it’s him, and you sob until you fall asleep.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Astarion tries to contain his excitement and fear as he follows Gale and Shadowheart to your home. Finally, after searching for literal months, he was going to see you again.

Astarion has been haunted by the last words he had said to you for what feels like eons now. He hadn’t meant it at the time and he certainly doesn’t mean it now.

He had been too afraid to come back to you after everything he had said. Astarion decided you probably hate him anyway so he tried to move on.

He tried being with other people (it always failed miserably because they weren’t you), he drank until he couldn’t remember a damn thing, and when all else failed, he began his search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.

After the nightlife of Baldur’s Gate lost it’s appeal and he finally found a ring location, Astarion found himself in front of Gale’s door in Waterdeep- begging him of all people to help him.

The wizard had been puzzled and melancholy when he realized Astarion was at his door. Astarion told him every little piece of how he feels about you, how much he misses you, and how he wants to be able to give you the life that you deserve. Astarion was practically on the verge of hysteria while trying to make his case.

Thus began the search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.

They were able to locate and obtain one after a grueling three month long journey and some help from one of Gale’s old friends. Then, they headed straight to Silverymoon- your last known whereabouts.

Running into Shadowheart had felt like a miracle, but to also have her living with you had made the trip even easier. Except Shadowheart was being really really weird towards him.

When Gale first asked if Astarion could come along too, Shadowheart had asked Astarion why he wanted to come and see the person he “hoped died screaming?”

Astarion had flinched at the anger and venom in Shadowheart’s voice. He figured the others would be mad, but he was hoping maybe Shadowheart would give him a little easier time like Gale had. Astarion was genuinely surprised by how quick she was to be defensive of you and your whereabouts. When Gale confirmed that Astarion was telling the truth, Shadowheart reluctantly said he could come.

The three arrive at the front of your shared townhome- it faces the beach and has the perfect amount of windows for the sun to light up the house, but one of the rooms is hidden from sight with heavy, black out curtains.

Shadowheart turns to both of them, “Tav might not be able to join us… she’s been sick for a bit now and is… recuperating.”

Astarion feels his heart drop to his stomach.

“Sick? For how long?”

Shadowheart shifts on her feet uncomfortably, “5 months, but it got worse around 3 months.”

“Tav has been sick for that long?” Gale exclaims, “why didn’t you write!? I could have helped.”

“This particular affliction is one you wouldn’t understand,” Shadowheart says with a finality that suggests the conversation is done as she leads them into the kitchen.

Shadowheart immediately gets fussing with the herbs while Gale looks around the house. Astarion is still unsure of what he should be doing. The house engulfs him in your scent and he feels positively intoxicated. You must be really sick though because your scent smells different- not bad at all, just different.

Does he talk to Shadowheart? Does he look around with Gale?

Or does he sneak off and find you? Astarion doesn’t want to waste anymore time than he already has. Slowly, he creeps towards the stairs.

“Don’t even think about it, Astarion,” Shadowheart warns.

Astarion looks at her and then back at the stairs. He does this a couple times until Shadowheart appears to be annoyed enough that she’s let her guard down a bit.

Astarion takes off up the steps and he hears Shadowheart and Gale coming up right behind him.

Astarion hears a dry heave from down the hallway and he goes racing for the door.

If you are as sick as Shadowheart has suggested (5 months is crazy long), Astarion may not have much time with you and Gods he needs to take advantage of the time he does have.

Shadowheart be damned.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You wake up feeling even worse than you did when you fell asleep. Your headache feels like it’s taken on a life on it’s own and Gods you are going to vomit all over the floor if you don’t move NOW!

You get up with an impossible amount of speed for how dizzy you are and you grab the pail on your nightstand and heave painfully.

You are rocking back and forth, groaning as more stomach acid comes up because again, not able to even keep anything down.

You hear a pair of footsteps and then Shadowheart screaming after-

“ASTARION! THEY ARE SICK! YOU NEED TO WAIT!”

“I have been looking for them for months now,” you hear him hiss, “if they are sick, I need to see them. If this has lasted five months- then who knows how much time I’ve wasted!”

“Will you stop being selfish for five minutes!? It’s not about you and who even says she wants to see you!?”

Shadowheart and Astarion are yelling in front of your door now. You feel tears prick your eyes- Astarion is here. Here here. A flurry of excited kicks from inside you catches your attention and a feeling of blissful happiness comes over you. Oh look, the nausea is gone. Of course it is.

“Traitor,” you whisper before laying down on your bed for a moment.

You are very happy that your unborn daughter appears to be pleased and feels good about her dad being on the other side of the door. You, on the other hand, are less than optimistic.

Wasted time doing what? And why did Shadowheart say I was sick!? In what world was that going to keep him from going upstairs!? Especially if he, your mind pauses, cares about me? Again?

Which you hope he does- you would hope Shadowheart wasn’t so sick of taking care of you that she brought him here to finish the job. Maybe this is all one big show.

Another, “I WILL DO WHAT I PLEASE” from Astarion, a “YOU SELFISH BASTARD” from Shadowheart, and a “Please can’t we all just be nice, catch up, and get along?” from Gale finally gives you the motivation to get up. The arguing feels far too much like being in camp again. You pinch the bridge of your nose, willing the growing headache to go away.

It doesn’t so you change into a pair of longer cotton pajama pants, a t-shirt that is unfortunately showing off your bump more than you’d like, and then you swing open the door in tired annoyance.

You are met with Astarion looking at you- his eyes scanning up and down your body- settling on your stomach. His expression is unreadable- it’s somewhere between lust, love, grief, and heartbreak. Embarrassed by Astarion’s intense gaze, you look over at Gale who is all smiles for you.

“Congratulations Tav!!!” Gale practically yells, making you wince, “the father is a lucky man.”

“I don’t think he considers himself a lucky man,” you say pointedly before turning to Astarion, “or do you?”

Astarion’s face changes entirely with your words. His eyes look at you, round and soft. His eyes are full of adoration and need- a look you never thought he would give you again. You have to fight the urge to grab him and drag him into your bedroom. You will not let the hormones win- you will be strong.

“I- it’s- I mean,” Astarion is fumbling over his words, “you are carrying my child?”

“Yes,” you say grumpily, crossing your arms,” and she’s been giving me nothing but trouble. Thanks to your genetics, I’m sure. This is day two of not being able to keep a damn thing down and this fucking headache is UNBEARABLE so please for the love of every God keep the arguing down.”

Astarion is still looking at you with a mystified expression- taking you in as if for the first time in his entire life. You look back towards Gale and Shadowheart- you are entirely too self-conscious and way too excited to see him for him to be looking at you like that. You are trying to be mad dammit!

Shadowheart gazes at you and your surely red tipped ears with amusement before she says, “I’ll go and get the potion ready for you- that should hopefully help.”

“I will- uh,” Gale says awkwardly, looking between you and Astarion, “join you! I might need to know which herbs to use… in the future?”

“Planning on getting pregnant Gale?” You say with a smirk.

Gale snorts at you, “Dear friend, as wonderful as you look right now- none of the side effects sound appealing.”

“Oh they most certainly aren’t,” you say,” but thanks for thinking I look ‘wonderful’. I feel, well, disgusting.”

“Gods, how could you even think that?” Astarion blurts out, appearing shocked that he even said it, “you look like…. A vision. A wonderful, stunning vision, Darling.”

Shadowheart and Gale excuse themselves as you struggle to find the words for Astarion’s comment. Your entire body feels like it’s on fire and you feel yourself begin to melt a little bit. You feel your emotions bloom into something resembling spring as he steps closer to you- looking at you with pleading eyes.

You clear your throat, “would you like to come into my room and talk?”

Astarion nods eagerly, following behind you so close that you once again have to remind yourself that ripping off the clothes of someone who literally told you they wanted you to die screaming was not healthy- at least not until you get a proper apology.

You sit against your headboard as Astarion walks around your room- running his fingers along the bassinet and rocking chair in the corner. You still can’t get a read on him.

“A girl?”

His question breaks the air.

“Yes,” you smile at him, “no name yet though.”

“I’m sure you’ll pick a nice one,” he says with a smile, but his tone is entirely too melancholic.

A painful thump in your heart fills your body with sadness. He doesn’t want to be involved. Of course he doesn’t want to be involved. You are his knocked up ex-girlfriend. What were you expecting? The lump forming in your throat is unbearable.

“You don’t want to be involved?”

Oh good Gods you are crying. Astarion rushes over to you the minute your tears begin to fall- sitting in front of you on the bed. He reaches out and gently wipes your tears away as he speaks.

“I want to be involved so badly it hurts,” his voice comes out scratchy and emotional, “but that is your decision, not mine. You have been on your own for months, my Love. Instead of trying to come back and make it better- I pushed it off until I thought I could give you what you deserved- a life in the sun.”

You almost whine in protest when his hands leave your face. He twists the ring around his index finger before continuing, avoiding your gaze, “But maybe I was wrong. Maybe what you deserve is a person that isn’t so damaged. Someone who can give you what you actually deserve which is a loving partner who hasn’t hurt you over and over again- a man worthy of being a father to ou- I mean your child.”

His confession and the tears that are streaming down his face are enough for you. Yes, you absolutely want to scream and yell at him, but you also ache for him. You can’t fault the man for being a slave for 200 years and then not taking it very well when you told him what to do. You always knew you would forgive him if he came back- you never thought he would, but here he is and like he said- there is no reason to keep wasting time.

“She is our child, Star,” you whisper and guide his eyes to look at you, “I want you to be involved. I don’t care what you think I deserve either. I have missed you so horribly since you left. It’s almost pathetic really. I’ve tried to blame it on the hormones, but… I don’t know. The picture has felt incomplete up until now.”

You absentmindedly put your hand on your stomach- receiving a kick. You glare at the place where your hand is resting.

“Will you stop kicking me for five minutes!?” You scream, “I WAS IN THIS BODY FIRST!”

Astarion looks at you bewildered and confused, but quickly realizes you aren’t talking about him. The smile that spreads across his face is wide and Astarion gingerly moves closer. You are still a little cautious- needing to protect not only yourself, but also your unborn child. He moves to the right of you and goes to move you just slightly so he can slip in behind you.

“Could I? I mean if it’s not crossing any boundaries!”

Astarion is on edge- you can tell that much, but he doesn’t look at you like he did that last time you saw him- Astarion is looking at you like you are the most precious individual who has ever walked this earth.

You nod shyly, and then Astarion slots himself behind you, your back against his chest, his face in the crook of your neck, and his legs on either side of yours. He cautiously puts his hands on your stomach and is immediately kicked.

Astarion laughs with joy, “she’s strong!”

“Strong willed and strong physically,” you shake your head and you are laughing a bit now too, “you may just get your wish yet.”

“What wish?”

It had slipped. You hadn’t meant to bring it up again- or maybe you did. You want to know for sure if he still feels that way, but the confusion in his voice says he doesn’t. You go rigid and go to dismiss it when you feel his posture change behind you, his grip loosening ever so slightly.

“Right… that.”

The silence is nerve-wracking. You’ve lost him again, you are sure of it. A stray tear begins to roll down your cheek.

“Astarion-“

“No, let me think, Darling. I want to make sure I say everything I want to say correctly.”

You continue to sit there in silence, he places soft kisses on your neck. You feel him smile against your skin at the needy moan that escapes your lips. You absentmindedly reach out for one of his hands and begin to play with his fingers while he thinks. Astarion used to let you do this all the time while you were traveling- it helps you feel grounded.

“I was so consumed by all that power in the moment,” he says slowly, “I wasn’t thinking. By the time I had realized what I had done, I felt like it was already too late- you most likely hated me and moved on.”

You have to bite your tongue- you want to scream. Hate him? Never. You had been miserable without him around for that last month of traveling. Your heart had felt like a dead weight in your chest and you had been moving around like a zombie.

“So I tried to move on… I even tried to be with others, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s selfish, but I want you. I never want anything bad to happen to you- I certainly don’t ever want you to die screaming. I don’t want you to ever carry a child that is not mine.”

You are surprised by the warmth in your core when he says his last sentence. There is something so primal there that you have to really focus on what he is saying next.

Astarion clears his throat before finishing speaking, “I don’t want to be without you anymore- four months is too long. I don’t want to miss out on anymore of your pregnancy and I want to be here for you- with you- doing this together like we should have been doing this whole time. I was a horrible fool- please give me another chance. Please, Darling. I love you- so so much more than I ever thought anyone could ever love someone.”

Astarion’s words hang in the air and you are trying not to begin crying for the 15th billion time. This is what you had wanted to hear all along. You can feel his tears on the collar of your shirt- the way he inhales as if to memorize your scent like this is the last time. Astarion is not expecting you to say yes- you know that because he’s starting to loosen up, pulling away from you so that he can respect your decision.

“I love you too,” you whisper, “I don’t want to be without you anymore either. I forgive you- please stay.”

“I won’t be going anywhere unless you want me too, my Love.”

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x you #bg3 spoilers #astarion romance #astarion x tav #karlach #bg3 #astarion x f! reader #astarion x f!tav #pregnancy #astarion acunin

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onearthbrieflygorgeous · 2 years

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my workplace is a fucking joke but the people we have to contact to get these courses sorted are an even bigger joke. dvla and dvsa i hate you with a BURNING passion, motherfuckers

#they’re SO condescending and SOOOO fucking bad at their jobs.#i haven’t felt this angry in a long time. literally had to go cool off.#i can’t post this on Twitter cause i want to avoid any and all possibility of it coming back to me but i had to vent oh my goddddd #noah.txt

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harrysfolklore · 4 months

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idk if you’re still taking requests but you should do actress!yn who’s been a long time fan of harry since 1d and a fellow solo harrie and they’re the stars of this movie (maybe a romcom 🤔) and then y/n is so nervous around harry and he teases her?? then they realize they have so much in common and it’s just fluff everywhere 🥲

this is honestly one of my favorite blurbs i’ve ever done and i hope you love it as much as i do! enjoy and thank youuu for the request

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

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yourinstagram The Bear has been out for a week and you can watch it on Hulu if you haven’t already ok we love u and goodbye!!

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ynfan1 SO SLAY

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↳ yourinstagram omg this means a lot, thank you for watching and supporting !

TWITTER

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yourinstagram SEASON FINALE OF THE BEAR AIRS TODAY 🥲 thank you for all the love u all have my heart

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ynfan1 SOBBING

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ynfan2 SHES THE PEOPLE’S PRINCESS

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harryupdates Harry and YN out in London today !

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harryfan1 WEEEEEE

ynfan1 OH

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theharrytea guysss deuxmoi posted this !! i think it might be about harry omg. thoughts ?

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harryfan1 OOOOHHH

harryfan2 harry in a romcom i could DIE

harryfan3 PERIOD DRAMA YES YES

harryfan4 omg makes sense i hope it’s true we need ROMCOMRRY

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yourinstagram scripts coming in and i’m like:

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ynfan1 YAYYYY

zendaya ❤️

harryfan1 harry liked thisssss

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TWITTER

TEXT BETWEEN HARRY AND YN

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yourinstagram first day of filming check !! hiyaaaa costar ⭐️ @harrystyles

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ynfan1 AHHH

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harryfan1 ITS GETTING REAL

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↳ harryfan2 he was giggling and kicking his feet while typing this

↳ ynfan3 they’re in love

gemmachan Love you both ❤️

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harrystyles Which Brings Me to You. Coming Soon.

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harryfan1 AHHHHH

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ynfan2 i soooo ship this

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harryupdates Harry and YN on set of Which Brings Me to You!

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harryfan1 AHHH

ynfan1 i love them so bad

harryfan2 i can’t wait to see this movie GOD

ynfan2 MY FAIRYTALE COUPLE

harryfan3 FAVES

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yourinstagram today is the day !!! world premiere of which brings me to you 🥲🥲 love u all thanks for the support

picture by the costar, awkward pose by meeee

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ynfan1 AHHH GO BESTIE

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harryfan2 HARRY TOOK THIS I CANT

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harrystyles Which Brings Me to You World Premiere. October, 2023.

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harryfan1 BABY

jefezoff 🙌🏻

ynfan1 oh he hot

yourinstagram excuse me u get credits on my pic but i don’t ??

↳ harrystyles Picture by the costar, charming face by my mum x

↳ harryfan1 HARRY 😭

↳ harryfan2 I LOVE HIM SO BAD

INTERVIEWS

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yourinstagram press day ! be ready because tons of content from me and @harrystyles annoying you about our movie is coming sooooooon 🥰

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ynfan1 this is the best day of my life

jefezoff I feel blessed

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annetwist ❤️

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harrystyles We took a Lie Detector Test. The results were pretty interesting. You can watching it in Vanity Fair’s Youtube channel now.

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harryfan1 HEEEELP

harryfan2 WHY DID HE CHOOSE THIS PIC HES SOOOOOO

annetwist ❤️

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FANS VIA TWITTER

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yourinstagram in words of taylor swift: you’re my lover

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harrystyles

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fantasyandshit · 2 days

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Replaced part two

Omg I’m so upset- it won’t let me tag like anyone with dashes in their name at allll soooo if you commented on that post I am so so so sorry I couldn’t tag you guys

Type: one shot turned more

Part: 2/2

Part 1 here

Masterlist here

Pairing: Azriel x reader/ mystery character x reader

Seriously guys thank you so much- I’m so glad that the first part had so much love and I hope this one is just as good.

“So, what did you need my love?” I lean down to kiss my fiancés temple. He’s stressed, I can tell. His fingers tap away in rhythm with his foot. “Baby- what’s going on? Why are you so stressed?” My hands run down the length of his arms in a soothing motion. “How can I help you?”

The new high lord of autumn’s head meets my shoulder, a small smile gracing his lips. His head raises till his lips meet mine in a soft kiss. “Baby I need you to sit down.” His smile disappears as soon as it came and I frown, moving to the seat on the other side of his desk. I raise my brows expectantly as his hands move to reach mine. “Love- we have a high lords meeting in two weeks time. They have requested it be held here in order to see how I’m handling the court now.”

“Ok? And?”

“Darling I want to introduce you as the new high lady of Autumn. I want you come along.” He sighs, “it means you will have to see all of them again.”

The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I breath for a moment, thinking about it, it’s been nearly five years since I left, the last time I saw any of them was the battle with Hybern, and even then Eris kept me mostly away from them so that I wasn’t distracted. “I’ll go.”

“Are you sure darling?”

“Very. I want them to see me as the high lady of autumn. Not the girl that left all that time ago.”

He smirks his signature smirk, pride filling his eyes. “Very well. Shall we begin planning?”

———

Everyone has finally arrived- or what is usually everyone, confusion sets in as Eris seems to sit in waiting, an empty chair beside him at the head of the table. “Are we waiting for someone Eris?”

“Yes actually. Shell be here any moment, she likes making an entrance.” Something bothers Azriel with the way the high lord smirks. He didn’t know who was going to walk through that door but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to like it.

The door swings open, a woman stepping through, decked in a gorgeous burnt orange dress, green and gold accents around her body, a golden crown, one looking like leaves woven together rests on her head. As her eyes catch Eris’ she smiles. “Sorry I’m late. Hope you haven’t started without me.” She surveys the room before stepping towards the empty seat. Eris stands, going to pull it out with one hand and take hers on his other. The pause for a moment, facing the table together.

“Everyone. I’d like you to meet my fiance and the high lady of the Autumn court. Some of you may already know her.”

As the female turns to kiss Eris, it clicks for Azriel. “Yn.” He can’t help but gasps and that is when it finally hits the inner circle of the night court.

“Hello guys. Long time no see.”

Cassian speaks this time, his brows furrowed and mouth agape, “you- your with him? Your the high the high lady?”

“Yes, in fact our wedding is next month. I am terribly excited. Especially after being named the high lady of Autumn.” She and Eris sit finally, hands staying tied together

An agony Azriel has never felt tears through him as he stares at his mate. She looks back to him as he gasps, clenching his chest wildly.

“Azriel. I’d like to get through my first meeting as high lady. So if you could stop…flailing. That would be preferred.” Yn clears her throat before turning to the others at the table. “I’ve seen some things. I see Koshei. I thought we took care of our issues with him, however I-“

The meeting continues, the night court still trying to process the news. After the meeting is finished, the high lords are given a walk through of the new Autumn court. “Yn. Yn can we speak please.” It was towards the end of the tour, courts had been led to where they’d be staying, only the inner circle trailed behind, minus Morrigan and Cassian who had been dropped off to their respective rooms.

I choose to ignore the shadowsinger, instead stopping at the next door and turn back to Rhysand and Feyre, “You two will be staying here. This castle works much like the house of wind. It will cater to you, we do tend keep things much warmer here for obvious reasons so if you are uncomfortable with the temperature just say the word and it will be brought down by the house.”

“Goodnight Yn.” I nod before turning back to lead the final male to where he’d be staying, Eris never leaving my side. We barely make it three steps down the hall before I feel Rhsyand pry at my mental walls.

‘What do you want Rhysand.’

‘You should talk to him Yn. He’s been devastated since you left and see you with Eris killed him I-‘

I shut it down. I don’t want to hear some sob story from my mate who didn’t even want me till I was gone. “You will be staying here Azriel. What I said to Rhysand and Feyre goes the same for you.”

Me and Eris turn to leave before I’m grabbed by the arm. “Wait. Yn can we please just talk.”

Eris growls. “Get your filthy hands off my fucking finance.”

The shadowsinger seems to get just as upset, opening his mouth to speak before I rip my arm from his grasp and turn, a glare resting on my features.

“Don’t you fucking dare! You have no right- no fucking right to get angry at my fiancée! Do you understand, you didn’t want me and I don’t fucking want you so go wallow in your self pity but stay the hell away from me!” Eris rubs soothing circles on my arm, a glare that could kill sent towards the shadowsinger as he grabs me, winnowing us to our room.

—————

Sooo I hope this lives up to your guys’ expectations!

#acotar x reader #azriel x reader #acotar #azriel #elain archeron #elain x reader #feyre archeron #feyre x reader #nesta archeron #nesta x reader #cassian x reader #cassian #rhysand x reader #rhysand #eris vanserra #eris x reader #replaced #angst #no happy ending

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minustwofingers · 11 months

Text

exoplanet p.6 (ellie’s journals)

summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf

warnings: a significantly different writing voice! this is going to be a very different vibe from the other chapters since i had to write it as i imagine ellie would (which is a lot different than i do). slight nsfw content (mdni), language, mentions of violence/gore, angst, ellie’s pov is actually really depressing

a/n: soooo i know it’s been almost 3 months...and i’m really sorry about that! a lot of stuff happened in my life and i kind of fell off writing for quite some time. but i finish series, so i’m going to get through exoplanet in its entirety so i can finally give you all closure. some preliminary notes: know that these are modeled after how i imagine ellie would journal if she did journal this much. canonically she didn’t do that much writing that follows a narrative like it does here. i think it’s honestly a little ooc for her to be emotionally responsible enough to talk out her feelings, but given that there’s no other way to tell her side of the story (save for legit rewriting it from her perspective, which would take another 6 months or so and be horrifically repetitive), i decided to just suck it up and write it. i’m sorry if it sounds awkward, since she definitely doesn’t write in a voice that i have much experience with. the next chapter will be better!

word count: 5.5k

tags~ @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28

(i haven’t updated this yet bc my tags aren’t working)

a special special SPECIAL thanks to both @roarriita and @elliesflower for being soooo sexy and betaing for me. you both are so wonderful and helped me sm in feeling good enough to post this :)

without further ado, enjoy ellie’s journals!

January 20th, 2038

Today’s been…fucking…

I don’t even know where to start. I don’t get why this sort of shit always happens to me. First it was being bit and somehow surviving. Then it was getting carted off across the country. And now some girl basically falls out of the sky, claiming that she comes from some sort of paradise up North?

I’ll spare the immediate details. I don’t think I’ll forget the basic stuff—her name, the way she looked clutching at her knees in the clearing and shaking. That stupid shirt she had on and that expensive scarf.

I still want to believe that she’s just a liar who happened to get lucky with running into us, but even without Joel vouching for her story, I don’t think I’d ever be able to buy that she’d been living in the same world as us. I’ve never met someone without scars before. I didn’t know that there were people out there who didn’t have marked up arms and faces. Or people without calluses. Did you know that hands can be totally smooth?

Anyway. Tommy says that he’ll try and reach out across the contacts he has. Joel has her living right down the hall from me in the meantime, so now I have to share my bathroom. Hopefully the Terranovan authorities are good at finding people. She takes so fucking long to shower. It’s a wonder the whole compound still has hot water.

[One page of drawings follows: Dina smiling in the snow on her horse, Joel playing his guitar]

January 25th, 2038

Maria says that they’re thinking about breeding Shimmer soon. I know she told me because that means I’ll need to ride another horse for a little until she recovers and I know that we need another generation of foals, but it still made me cringe for Shimmer’s sake. She’s too free-spirited to be a mother. She doesn’t deserve that.

I went stargazing last night. It was pretty. Lots of shooting stars. I ran into the girl while I was coming back from the meadow. She gave me a weird look, and I could tell she wanted to ask me where I’d been but kept her mouth shut. Sometimes I regret dropping off that bag of clothes. I really fucking liked that gray sweatshirt, actually. I’m not even joking. It looks weird to see it on someone else.

[Half a page of drawing follows of the night sky with labeled constellations]

February 5th, 2038

Long time no see. I’ve been pretty busy with patrols and helping Maria with securing the walls. Joel made me try some of that coffee that our new house guest brought. It was just as awful as I remembered, but he seemed happy. So one point for the space girl. I guess.

Dina’s been hanging around more. She just broke up with Jessie (yes, again). She swears that it’s for good this time, but I’m not so sure. She also talks a lot about Y/N and what little detail she’s gathered about her life back in Terranova. I thought teasing her by asking her if she had a crush on Y/N would make her talk less about it, but it just made things worse.

I miss when things were normal.

[One page of drawings follows: one of Shimmer in cross-ties, another of a girl’s face, half-finished with the face scribbled out]

February 12th, 2038

Today I’m sad. I’m in bed with that book about astronomy that Joel nabbed for me on patrol a while ago and there’s a section I wanted to read that’s completely waterlogged. It shouldn't be a surprise. It’s decades old and has survived through an apocalypse. Normally things like this don’t bug me much because I’m so used to it. Half of my Savage Starlight collection is damaged. I don’t think I’ll ever find the first book to actually complete the series, and that’s okay, because I’ve never expected anything more. But now that I know that there’s a world out there where I’d never have problems like this, stuff like this hurts. It’s so stupid. I’m lucky to be alive. Compared to what’s left of the world population, I live a much cushier life than most. But for the first time in a while, I’m wishing for more.

“Greed is the enemy of happiness” is what Maria would say if I ever said this kind of shit out loud. But is it really? Or is it just realizing what life can be?

[Half a page of a drawing of the solar system, with each planet labeled]

February 22nd, 2038

Maria let me pick the sire for Shimmer’s foal. It felt kind of gross, to be honest. I asked Maria if there was any way for Shimmer to choose and I was only sort of joking, but she just laughed anyway and patted my back. I won’t have to worry about finding a new horse for another two seasons or so, she told me. It’ll be weird not having her for a little.

She also told me that there was still no word from anyone who knew anything about Terranova. She said this to me in this placating voice, like she thought that I was going to punch a hole in the wall or something after hearing it. That seems to be common when it comes to people talking about Y/N and me. I don’t know why so many people think I don’t like her staying with us.

I don’t, by the way. Let me be clear. But I mostly feel indifferent about her now. She doesn’t bother me as much anymore, not since she started getting out of the house. I think she might be helping in the gardens, but I’ve never actually asked. We don’t talk a whole ton. I don’t think she likes me all that much.

[A drawing of Shimmer’s head poking over her stall door that takes up one page]

March 2nd, 2038

Today was finally our first nice day of the year. I would’ve enjoyed it more if the bird that lives in the tree outside my window hadn’t blown me out of bed at 4 in the fucking morning. I’m exhausted now. It’s been a long day. Joel says I need to take Y/N out on patrol soon. Why, I have no idea. Maybe he just wants me to actually befriend her or something, and I do nothing but patrols now. He can’t possibly expect her to be a good patrol partner.

Thankfully, I checked the logs when I came back. The route he wants me to cover with her has been the quietest all season. I doubt we’ll run into anything. If we do, I’ll probably be able to handle it. Hopefully.

[Half a page of doodles, mostly of nature and wildlife with the exception of a half-finished doodle of an arm clad in a fabric that drapes like silk and a hand with polished nails]

March 3rd, 2038

Many surprising things were learned today. I can’t believe it’s illegal to be gay in Terranova. Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. It’s just—out of all the things they could be bothered by, it’s that? Really?

March 12th, 2038

I haven’t been good at journaling recently. I don’t really want to talk about why. You know why.

[Six pages of drawings, with many unfinished doodles of Y/N—including but not limited to her on her horse, her reading on the couch, and one with her sitting in what is a very loose interpretation of a classroom, taking notes]

March 13th, 2038

I will feel more normal tomorrow. Hopefully.

[Two pages of drawings, all of Y/N. One is her bent over a book, the other is her smiling up at you]

March 14th, 2038

I did something really stupid. I think I should probably just document this here so I don’t accidentally drunkenly spill it all out to Dina at the next bonfire. This is so embarrassing. I don’t get why I feel this way. It’s so stupid, you know? To feel anything towards someone who’s so…I don’t know. Different.

She gives me the weirdest looks sometimes. I can’t tell what they mean. It feels like she’s judging me. And why wouldn’t she be? I bet all the girls she spends her time around back home are just like her—perfect, orderly, pretty, proper. The day before I took her patrolling she gawked at the shorts I was wearing. It was borderline offensive. Actually, fuck that. It wasn’t borderline. It was offensive. You don’t just stare at people like that. She should know that.

Anyway, I invited her over to my room last night. Normal, right? Because we’ve been doing that a little since I took her on patrol, by the way. I’m not sure if I mentioned that before. But this time I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m…I don’t know. Creepy? Strange? Scary? She told me that she thought I was intimidating. And then I called her “untouched”, like how some old-timer devout Christian wackjob or whatever would describe virginity. It was so fucking weird of me. I don’t know what got into me, but she kept doing this thing where she kicked my foot with hers or touched my knee and it just threw me off. It took me forever to fall asleep last night—I kept replaying what I’d said to her, especially how I’d told her that she wouldn’t have made it if she were me like I was some sort of hardcore survivalist. I think I embarrassed her. I’m never doing anything like this again. I’m going to be dead sober every time I see her from now on.

I’ll stop talking about that. Y/N did come back after I’d made a fool of myself and showed me her collection of movies, so maybe it wasn’t so bad. I haven’t watched any movies since I was with Cat. When we first started dating, I’d invite her over and she’d sit right where Y/N did last night. I’m trying to not think of the implications, because it’s space girl, and she’s going home sometime soon.

[Three pages of drawings follow—some nature drawings of ferns and moths, others of Y/N with wet hair, her knees tucked up to her chin like she’d been in Ellie’s bed that night]

March 19th, 2038

It’s the Spring Equinox. That’s the first thing Y/N told me this morning when she saw me in the kitchen this morning. She gave me a mini lecture on what that meant for the planet’s axis tilt and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I already knew, since she seemed really excited to tell me.

I made a horrible discovery yesterday, by the way. Maria came up to me and told me that Tommy had decided to reach out to some of his other buddies up North to see if they had any connections to Terranova, and for the first time, I felt myself hoping that it wouldn’t work.

It’s awful. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Even in Jackson, where things are comparatively much better than the rest of the world, there’s risk. Just this winter, one family had to be kicked out when they were found hiding an infected son. No one here is completely safe, just safer. I shouldn’t be selfish. Y/N needs to go where she’s meant to be, where there’s no chance of infection or invasion. I’ll be fine. I just need to get over whatever this is.

Speaking of her, I need to go get her to tell her that we’re heading out on patrol in just a few minutes. Fingers crossed she doesn’t accidentally shoot me, but Joel swore up and down that she knows how to handle a gun now. Sure. Haha.

I’m back. It’s the middle of the night and she only just left my room. I don’t know how much detail I need to go into—chances are I won’t forget this. But for bookkeeping purposes: patrol did not go so hot. I had to give her stitches without any local anesthesia. I’ve never given stitches to anyone nearly in my lap before. I was really nervous, too. I don’t think I’ve ever had to focus so much on keeping my hands steady when it came to stitching someone up before, not even with Joel.

I’m starting to think that maybe I was wrong about thinking that she didn’t like me. I still can’t tell exactly what she thinks of me, and I know that it’s a really bad fucking idea to be entertaining thoughts like these, but tonight she did something that made me reconsider. She got under the covers with me, and instead of moving away to keep us from touching, she rested her head next to mine on the pillow.

I hope she couldn’t hear how much my heart was racing. People can’t hear that kind of stuff, right? Even if they’re close?

I’m being ridiculous. There’s no way she—No. She doesn’t see me like that.

March 21st, 2038

She rested her head on my shoulder today. I don’t know what to think of it. If she was normal and grew up like the rest of us did, I would know exactly what to think. But she’s not normal, and it’s not fair of me to treat her like she is. Maybe this is, like, a culturally acceptable thing back from where she grew up. Maybe rich people just cuddle each other all the time. I wouldn’t fucking know, and unfortunately no one in this godforsaken town can help, because there’s a distinct lack of what Maria calls the “bourgeoisie”. They’re all either dead or back where Y/N grew up, doing whatever rich snobs do.

Even if it is normal for her, I feel like I can’t stop analyzing everything she does. She seems more nervous around me than she does anyone else, but she lingers like she can’t help herself. I’ve noticed that she stumbles over her words and touches me much more than is really necessary. Or at least I think she does—maybe I’m just imagining things.

But even if it means what I think it does, I can’t let myself think like this. It’s not fair to her. No one deserves to live here if they have the choice. At least the people out here know how to handle it. She doesn’t, and I don’t want her to turn into the type of person who does.

When I stitched her up and teased her about being weak and sensitive, I think she thought I was insulting her. I try not to think about it, but if I let myself wallow too much, I’ll wonder what kind of person I’d be if I wasn’t so jaded. Maybe I’d draw more, or read more, or write more. Maybe I’d be an easier person to love. I didn’t get to choose how I turned out. It just happened to me.

So if she has the choice, I’m going to do everything I can to help her make the right one. I don’t want her to be like this.

March 29th, 2038

I had a dream about Riley last night. I haven’t had one of those in years, not since I was traveling with Joel. We were back in the mall, and Riley had just turned the lights on as a surprise. I had this feeling then, like I was being given a second chance. That I could set things straight and do what was right. I woke up before I could insist that we leave.

[A drawing takes up half of the next page. It’s a crude depiction of the mall Riley turned in.]

April 4th, 2038

It’s the middle of the night again. I can’t sleep. I’m so disappointed with myself about what I did tonight with Y/N. At the time, it seemed like a really good idea. She likes me back, apparently. I was right about everything that I wrote about earlier, I guess. But it certainly doesn’t feel like I thought it would.

It’s not like there’s no part of me that isn’t thrilled that she feels the same way. That’s why I gave in and slept with her. But even when she told me how she felt, even before I completely lost my self-control, something heavy was already hanging over me. Regret, maybe. Or guilt. I don’t know. What I do know is that this can’t last. I can’t make this good for her like I want to. She needs to go back, and she needs to be able to feel like she can make that choice without feeling like she’s leaving anything good behind.

I’m not a spiritual person. but even so, I can’t help but feel like that dream of Riley was a sign. This is my second chance. I’m not going to fuck it up this time. I’ve already been an accomplice of so much suffering. Y/N is going home, and I’ll never see her again when she does. That’s that.

It took all I had left in me in the end to kick her out. She looked so hurt, and the fact that she tried to hide it made it even worse. I wish I could tell her why this can’t work, but I don’t think she’d understand.

[A drawing of Y/N kissing Ellie’s palm follows, her hair slightly mussed]

April 6th, 2038

I need to stop making rash decisions like knocking on her door late at night and asking her to come over. I really don’t know what’s gotten into me, because whenever I see her now, I can’t help but freeze up. Like last night, when she kissed me and touched my face and told me she thought I was a good person. I panicked and told her—well, nevermind. I don’t really want to repeat it here. It was mean, but I didn’t know what else I could do to get her to stop.

She was already tearing up by the time she left. I had to sit down and breathe deeply for a few minutes before I was sure I wasn’t going to be sick. I don’t really think I want to write more about this right now. It just makes me sad how unfair this all is. Of course the one time after Cat that I meet someone I really like it just has to be in one of the cruelest scenarios possible. I just have no idea what to do.

[Five pages of drawings follow of Y/N in bed, her head tilted back against the pillow, her eye’s half lidded, and her mouth slightly agape. Ellie redraws this multiple times, x-ing out parts that don’t seem quite right]

April 10th, 2038

I know this is none of my business, but she’s been spending a lot of time with Dina lately. She nearly got herself killed getting a gift for me with Dina yesterday, which feels like some sort of especially cruel joke. The universe isn’t being very fucking subtle right now.

If what I’m worried about is right, at least Dina has the option to come with her up North. She’d test negative.

April 20th, 2038

I would really like it if I could have one short break from the misery that’s my life right now. I turned 20 yesterday, accidentally introduced Y/N to my ex, proceeded to get much drunker than I meant to, completely fell off my rocker and asked Y/N to stay the night, and then discovered this morning that not only has Terranova found Y/N but that my strategy of keeping Y/N at arm’s length completely failed.

She wants me to come with her, and she’s threatening to stay here otherwise. I did the only thing that I could think to do and snapped at her.

I’m so tired of this. I hate having to act like I don’t care. This is the third time now that I’ve had to say something nasty to her to keep her from getting too close. I just want to get in bed and sleep until she leaves and I can pretend like nothing ever happened and that everything is normal.

[One page of drawings of Y/N passed out in her bed and Y/N grinning while holding a lopsided cake]

April 28th, 2038

I know I haven’t been writing much again. Sorry about that. I just can’t bear to think about my life right now. I know I should be relieved—this is what I wanted. I wanted her to go where it’s best for her.

But there’s still that selfish part of me that keeps me up at night. Y/N is going to leave this place never knowing how I feel about her. Logically, that should be what I want. This way I won’t need to say a real goodbye. I know I won’t need to now, since she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. It’s really fucking immature of me to be so hurt by what she must think of me now, but I can’t stop.

I wonder how long it will take for me to stop feeling sad about this. I’ve never had to process anything like this where there’s nothing I can do. With Riley and Sam, I at least got to heal from the knowledge that I was going to help make the vaccine to save the world. But losing Y/N just because of where we come from is totally meaningless. I can go forward knowing that I made it easy for her to make the right decision, but that only goes so far.

I don’t know how I’m going to handle this. I’m going to practically live with Dina so I don’t need to be alone for the first few weeks.

I wish May 8th would just come already so she can go away and I can get on with my life.

May 1st, 2038

Things have changed some. Joel cornered me in the kitchen last night and told me that I needed to grow up and just appreciate the rest of the time I had left with Y/N. I was going to agree and try to walk past him, but he stopped me and told me that he needed me to escort Y/N. I guess he’s right. She can’t go alone, and Joel and Tommy are getting a little too old for week-long expeditions into the wilderness.

He also told me that I need to apologize to her and make things right, saying shit like I’d regret it forever if things ended between us like this. I don’t want to admit it, but I think he’s right. When I told him that she’d originally threatened to stay if I didn’t go with her, he blinked, hard. Then he told me that he had an idea.

I’m faking it. I’m telling her that I’m going, even though I’m going to leave her when she gets picked up. I don’t know how I’m going to pull it off. When I told her in the meadow last night, she was so happy. I know it’s really sappy and cliche to say this, but I felt my heart shatter, bit by bit. I’m not a very good liar, not to people who are important to me. But I suppose I’ve been lying to her all this time, kicking her out of my room and telling her that I didn’t want anything more with her.

I can do this, I think. I have to do this, or else she might threaten to stay, and I don’t think I have it in me to be cruel again. Not to her. I guess I’ll just trick myself into feeling like I’m actually coming with her, like we have a chance of actually being together. I don’t know. We’ll see.

[One drawing of Y/N laying down in the meadow that takes up half a page]

May 3rd, 2038

It’s easier than I expected. Y/N sleeps over in my room at night, and if I don’t think too hard about it, I can pretend like things will always be like this.

I’m getting to be such a sap, though. I almost broke down in the bathroom today while I was getting ready. It was over the stupidest thing—a toothpaste bottle. Y/N always folds it so neatly, making a perfect, tight spiral of plastic near the end. It used to really bother me when I first had to share with her (because who does that—it’s weird and doesn’t do anything since she doesn’t manage to squeeze out the extra in the bottom anyways), but the thought of throwing it out when it finally emptied and having to find another one that’ll never be folded again hit me and suddenly I was counting my inhales and exhales. I don’t really give a shit about toothpaste. It’s just that it was the moment that I realized that she’s really going to be gone soon, you know? Slowly but surely, the evidence of her stay here will be wiped away and replaced. Someday I’ll forget all the little details about her.

She’s knocking on my door. I need to stop being so depressed and go see her before she picks up that something’s wrong.

[One small doodle of Y/N smiling and rolling her eyes while brushing her teeth]

May 6th, 2038

Dina’s coming now. Y/N told me this morning after she went to say goodbye. I feel really shitty about this. I guess I should tell her that I’m not going now, because this way Y/N needs to go home to get Dina the help she needs, but I just can’t bring myself to. I’ll have to escort both of them to the pickup spot anyway since Dina’s weaker now that she’s pregnant, and the thought of having to spend a full week with Y/N after she knew I lied to her makes my skin crawl. I can’t tell who I’m trying to protect by doing this—me or her. Maybe both.

I’m losing my two favorite people here, and they don’t even know it yet. But this is the best option. This is my chance to finally do some good in the world.

May 7th, 2038

I’m about to go stargazing with Y/N for the last time. I don’t think I’ll be writing in here again until I get back. I don’t want to risk losing this while I’m out in case something crazy happens. Which it probably will, but I canonically happen to be really good at living when shit hits the fan. Also—I don’t imagine Y/N to be a particularly nosy person, but if she ever came across this and thought it was a book or something, it would make things really awkward. So, you’re staying tucked carefully under my bed until I come back later this month.

I don’t know how to handle this sort of goodbye. I don’t really know how to handle any sort of goodbye, I guess, but at least I’ve been through them before. I may not do it well, but I know how to live when people I love die. But this isn’t like that. No one is dying (hopefully), and more importantly, I know it’s a goodbye this time. I see it coming on the horizon and I can’t even tell anyone about it. How does anyone deal with that? How does anyone cope?

Y/N’s knocking on my door now. I need to go before I start thinking even more and do something stupid like start crying or whatever.

I’ll be back in about two weeks.

June 1st, 2038

Sorry for not writing. It’s been pretty shitty, actually. It took me 5 extra days to get home because some scavengers gave me trouble. I hardly slept for most of them. I ran out of ammo about 4 days out and had to use my knife for everything I ran into until I was able to raid the cabinets of this abandoned cabin. Nearly got taken out by a clicker, too. It was not fun. It was especially not fun because I was not feeling super great to begin with, for obvious reasons.

Things haven’t gotten any better since getting back to Jackson. Y/N didn’t take her stupid Exoplanetary Systems textbook and now I’m struggling with whether or not I should throw it out. The rational side of me says to keep it because it was published after the outbreak and probably contains updated information that isn’t anywhere else. The rest of me doesn’t even want to look at the stars anymore because it reminds me of her.

It’s really hard not to blame her for ruining everything. I can’t go out and ride my own horse without thinking about the first time we went on patrol together and she dropped my gun and nearly killed one of us. And I can’t even relax in my own home, because I’ve spent almost every night with her since March in my bed. Sometimes when I hear a creak in the middle of the night I assume it’s her walking down to the bathroom or getting water until it hits me again that she’s never coming back.

I know I’m being melodramatic. There are many other worse problems I could be having right now. But I don’t even have my best friend anymore. I wonder if Dina and Y/N are angry with me for lying. I wonder if they’re settling in okay. I hope that Y/N manages to fix whatever her research was and that Dina gets better.

[Twenty pages of drawings of Y/N and Dina together. Some are snippets of them on their expedition to the pickup site. Others are pictures of Y/N and Dina walking around with smiles on their faces in what looks to be a city]

June 21st, 2038

It’s been over a month since I’ve last seen her. I had a breakdown while getting ready for bed when I realized that I didn’t remember what her voice sounded like anymore.

[Ten pages of half-finished drawings, each with its face scribbled over]

June 28th, 2038

I don’t think I really remember what she looks like—not exactly. I’ve been trying to draw her because I’m still in the habit of making decisions that are definitely not good for my mental state. I just can’t do it, and it isn’t for the lack of trying. Every time I get to her eyes I keep drawing something that looks wrong, but I can never tell why. I compare it to my earlier drawings of her from when we first met and it feels like meeting her for the first time again.

Joel says it’ll pass and that he’s proud of me for doing the right thing. Jessie and I have been hanging out more. Even if he won’t admit it, I can tell he’s miserable without Dina. But he understands why she had to go—just like how I feel about Y/N. And Dina too, of course. Jackson feels like a ghost town without her.

July 17th, 2038

I haven’t been writing or drawing in here for a while, I know. I was going to just go ahead and start a new journal—you know the one that Maria gave me for Christmas with the dark blue cover—but it didn’t feel right to just stop without explaining. Otherwise I’ll feel like an asshole for wasting so much paper.

I don’t want to move on from what happened with Y/N and Dina. I really don’t, but I don't think I have a choice. If I keep going on like this, I’ll never be able to live normally again. I’m just sick and tired of being sad all of the time. So I’m not going to write here anymore. I don’t think it’s realistic for me to forget all about it, because I don’t want to forget her. Not really. But I guess if I want to get better, I’ll need something different. So, here’s that. The beginning of my fresh start. “Fresh start” and you call me overdramatic!! haha. Y/N was here!

(You left this on your nightstand. I promise I didn’t read too much. I opened it because I thought it was your sketchbook. I’m going to put this back since I hear you walking down the hall now.)

ok as an aside my blog is broken so my stuff isn’t notifying people when i tag/showing up on dashes or in tags. please reblog if you’re comfortable so people can actually find this! thank you!

final a/n: i totally get it if this wasn’t quite your cup of tea this time—i just really wanted to iron out ellie’s pov before their reunion in the end. which is happening and not a spoiler because i have always promised a hea! this was a change in pace for the story and i promise you that the next chapter will be more normal/align more with my normal writing style. i have also changed my mind (probably) and have decided to stick with writing an epilogue! so two more chapters are coming before this is totally over. thank you so much for waiting and being so patient! i love you all dearly ok bye bye now

#ellie williams x reader #exoplanet #not adding tags because i’ll eventually repost #this is just for people who want to read!

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seraphinitegames · 7 months

Text

The Wayhaven Chronicles - Update 13/October/2023

I finally got to write the opening I’ve been waiting soooo long to write! And I LOVE IT! I’m more of a writer that likes to get right into the action at the start, and this certainly accomplishes that!

It’s actually a kind of opening I haven’t used yet in Wayhaven, so that made it doubly exciting!

Weirdly, I did something very simple that also helped more than expected this week; I changed the font of the plan. It’s way clearer for me to read now compared to Cailbri or whatever the standard one is. Possibly because it is such big blocks of text, my eyes were struggling to go between screen and paper and find where I was but using the new font definitely has helped with that issue.

So yeah, I worked on the opening this week because I couldn’t resist, hehe, and I’ll go back to the ‘housekeeping/cleaning’ coding next week. Hopefully that’ll help keep me pushing through the coding stuff if I get to enjoy the writing at the same time :D Not my usual flow, but it’s working so far!

It’s kind of hard to talk about it without spoiling it, as we’re now back into the point where I’ve really got to keep my mouth shut so things stay as a surprise…though you know how bad I am at that, lol! But at least I can go back to the weekly sneak peeks in updates on Patreon (and the first BIG sneak peek for the That Bit Extra post this month)! That should help me get through a bit until the first demo releases!

I’m actually taking a break this weekend, so I won’t be working on the Book One edits, but I’ll be getting back to those the weekend afterwards. Really pleased with how that is coming along—slow but sure, lol. It’s nothing major, but a lot of small things I really think help make it flow more to match the style of my later writing.

Hope you all have the most fantastic weekend! We’ll be offline as usual, so I’ll talk to you all again next week! Already excited to share the demo, which may be a while away yet, but still…I’m excited, hehe! :D

#the wayhaven chronicles #interactive fiction #update #progress report #twc book 4 #the wayhaven chronicles book 4

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nathandrakeisabottom · 4 months

Note

Headcannons about them with an anxious SO? Love your stuff x

Thank you, friend! Now, in full canonical honesty, I don’t believe that either Nathan or Sam would be particularly good at dealing with their deeper anxiety, let alone someone else’s, let alone someone else’s who they loved dearly and would only be afraid to make it worse (that many crumbling bridges and a guy’s gotta if consider his only superpower is the ability to destroy everything he touches) for most of their young lives.

However, I do believe that post-UC4 (perhaps a little earlier for Nathan), and a good dose of necessary therapy (paid for in pirate coins, of course)--- they’d be more than willing to finally take on the challenge.

For themselves, and for the person they love more than anything.

Drakes with an Anxious S/O Headcanons

Nathan:

In his younger days, the prince of the awkward smile and half-hearted clap on the back. A pulley doll whose only catchphrases were “Man, that’s hard”, “Yeah. Yeesh.”, and “Soooo, I guess this would be a bad time for a joke, huh?”. Scurries to the bathroom as soon as they’re not in tears anymore, and stays there for as long as it takes to stop hearing the residual sobs.

However, his late 30s and 40s bring him a much healthier perspective (and therapy— Jesus, finally) and being the smarty pants he is, he passes on no opportunity to put his new skills and knowledge to use.

That playfulness and desire to find the lightness in even the hardest situations never leaves him at any age, though.

A panic attack? “‘Is something… wrong with you’? You realize you’re talking to the guy who accidentally destroys ancient temples for a living, as an archaeologist? And I still consider myself a not so bad guy. So in my eyes, you’re basically a lesser known Mesopotamian god.”

Got a bad grade? “A D in Psychometrics? I don’t know, sounds like they don’t know anything about math if they’re using a letter to grade you. Maybe they should go get their teaching certificates checked. Hey, how ‘bout I just draw you a PhD myself? You know I have an eye for art.”

Dealing with shitty parents? Landlord? Roommates? Exes who won’t leave you the fuck alone? “What? That buffoon? Guy who can’t even spell their own name right? That bastard isn’t worth a thought of a thought of a thought in your head. Pretty sure they haven’t had a thought in their own head since 1996.”

As soon as his first wide-toothed smile is won, he’s leaning into his partner with a secretive smirk: “Ya wanna get the fuck out of here?”

Because distractions always helped him before.

Will act especially gentlemanly, and theatrically play it up, while taking their partner for a frozen yogurt, antique shop, Target trip, public park, laser tag (yes, really) decompress. Bows when he opens the car door for them. Pays for everything. Calls them ‘your majesty’ for the entirety of the excursion.

All he wants is to get them to smile. And he’s not stopping until he sees it.

When the night creeps in and his S/O starts to lose steam, Nathan’s own worry grows more obvious, though he tries his best to keep it to himself.

Watches them with wide eyes. Gives them space, but still asks every few minutes if they need a cup of water. No? Tea? Arnold Palmer? Popsicle? Massage? Hot Pocket? Sexy pillow fight? However many it takes to make his partner laugh again. But he fully means every offer he gives.

Says nothing as he helps them undress and into their PJs. Touches are tender and intimate, gently rubs their shoulders and neck. Never too hard, never too direct. Plays the friendly ghost and lets their partner take the lead, but never, ever just sits around to watch.

Makes them a beverage of some sort, even if they say no. Hot lemonade with honey is his personal homecure. Says yellow is a happy color, so it must be good for you.

And right before they turn the lights out, Nate timidly offers— with a shy, trying chuckle— if they want him to read them a bedtime story.

Somehow shocked every time they say yes. Mumbles something self-derogatory about himself (“Ya know, not the best actor, but—” “Personally I think I have the voice of a dying goose, but—”) before sitting on the nearest surface and cracking open a book.

If he’s still feeling a little awkward, will uneasily ask if they wanna hear what he’s been reading lately, and will do so if asked— but really wants to read the pirate storybooks his mother read to him and Sam when they were kids.

It always made him feel better when the world felt too big, too scary, too cruel.

So he wants to share it with the person he loves.

He wants to share everything with the person he loves.

And without even asking, goes to the medicine cabinet and brings them a tablet of whatever they need when the anxiety gets especially bad, and says “I know, it’s scary. But we’ve been through scary before, right?” with a kiss on the cheek as they swallow it down with a sip of lemonade.

Lingers, eyes down, and vaguely nods to nobody as he stands and walks to the door.

“Want me… uh, want me to keep reading to you?” But he offers before he can even get past the door frame.

“Do you want me to want you to keep reading to me?”

And the last thing he wants to see is his love, alone. The idea of them crying beneath the covers because they were too afraid to burden him with it, too afraid to be seen. Everything he felt he had to do when he was 6 and his mother “passed”, age 9, 10, 11, 12 after a black eye, the words that his brain told him wrong: spoken aloud by the playground bullies he feared he’d never be stronger than.

But he knew they were wrong. The bullies were wrong. The ones in his brain. The ones in theirs.

“Yes.” He replies without missing a beat.

And he makes sure to hold their hand in his free one until the second they fall asleep… and a few hours after, just to be safe.

The next morning they fucking better expect breakfast in bed— and he maybe, just maybe, might even be willing to spring for McDonald’s, if that’s what they want. As long as they promise to eat actual fruit after. And hell, maybe even a vegetable or two when he makes dinner that night. Did you know that eating right and exercise are actually primary solutions to poor mental health—? That’s what Dr. Dorian said— No, potatoes don’t count as a vegetable— no, especially not if it’s fried— NO, FRENCH FRIES DON’T COUNT, BABY—

Sam:

Sam takes a bit longer to warm up to discussing anxiety than Nathan does, mostly due to struggling so deeply with it on his own. It’s not like prisoners (or Shoreline guards) made the most comforting companions.

The better he could keep secrets, the less he could reveal, the safer he’d be.

So it makes sense that it’s both his greatest strength and weakness when it comes to emotionally turbulent times.

In his younger, more avoidant years, he’d be the first to leave the room, leave the building, hell, sometimes even leave the city after a particularly heavy cry or confrontation with his then-partner. Only to come back the next morning and act like nothing ever happened.

But now, he doesn’t run. After prison, after Rafe, after Madagascar, all he wants is to be allowed to stay. To be wanted to stay by someone who loves him.

Is happiest to just sit with you in the silence. His biggest skill is his ability to weather the storm. And whether you need to scream bloody murder, or need to sit and decompress and just fucking feel, but can’t do it alone, Sam’s there. Listening.

Once you’re done talking, he takes one last, long drag of his cigarette, stubs it out onto the pavement, and asks simply: “So do you want solutions… or something else, sweet’art?”

You can see in his eyes— darting less than solid, certain against your own— that he really means it, in every way that he was too afraid to when he was younger.

The wonderful and terrifying thing about having anxiety while Sam is there is that it’s a vulnerable experience for the both of you. He’s learning, discovering, trying right along with you. And he may not be able to lift you up so easily, but he’ll be able to sink into the dark places with you, and not be afraid to see what’s down there.

And maybe seeing someone he loves so deeply, sees as so beautiful, so smart, so kind, so wonderful, so absolutely perfect to him feel the same ways he does about himself… maybe it makes him think that he’s not as terrible as his brain tells him, either.

Helps you take action by letting himself (finally) not be the smart one: “When ya… get like this, what do you usually do first, sweet’art? Paint me a pit’chure.” Gives you complete control, and smiles softly when you wipe your tears and the logical, the archaeological mind awakens. Mimics unraveling an ancient map when you begin to explain, and you inadvertently hiccup out a laugh.

At times, it’ll feel like he’s trying to run again, but when he stands up and walks across the room— he always returns. This time with your favorite of his jackets, the denim one that smells like him even though he just cleaned it, and drapes it protectively over your shoulders. Clasps his palm at the back of your neck and rubs out the knot he always finds there. Smiles toothy and wide when your words are broken up by sighs of relief. Only to be filled once again with silence, gazes meeting sweet and safe.

“Remember Indonesia?” He offers with a smirk, despite your furrowed brow.

“I guess? What about—?”

“I read the runes’ instructions and ran us in circles all around Bali, only to reread the transcript and realized I got three letters completely wrong. J—V—A. Java. It was goddamn Java the entire time.”

“Your point being?”

He smiles and shrugs. Trying. Maybe he’s wrong, a foreigner in some ancient, uncertain land, but he tries.

“Sometimes our brains are just wrong.” He tries for you. “That’s all.”

You sniffle, and he leans in to press a prickly kiss to your cheek. His jacket is still warm from the dryer, wafting with the residual sting of cigarette, Old Spice Captain, cheap mouthwash, even cheaper aftershave, and something else completely unnameable.

And maybe some others would think the scent appalling, but it’s the strangeness, the specificity, and yes, the stank— everything that makes Sam him— that makes you love it. Love him. The depth. The difference.

The pain, and what he chose to do with it.

Another kiss, this time down your neck. This time, the sigh of relief is his own.

What he chose to change it into.

“So… any chance sex therapy might be a thing?” He asks grinningly.

“Why don’t we find out, ‘sweet’art’?”

#uncharted #uncharted 4: a thief's end #nathan drake #sam drake #nathan drake x reader #sam drake x reader #happy christmas yall!!!#and for those are yall who struggle today. you arent alone #feel free to jump into my inbox and geek out with me #sometimes family is just someone you share blood with #and that's allowed to be it #shea out

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banngtannies · 2 years

Text

DRABBLE #1

— Pairing: Yandere!vminkook x Female! Reader

— Genre: Mafia au, Yandere

— Summary: Love hurts, it causes anger, jealousy, obsession, why don’t you love me back?

They will do anything to keep you by their side.

— Word count: 3.5K

— Tags/ warnings: YANDERE THEMES, obsessive behavior, manipulative behavior, talks about murder, self-arm, toxic relationships, manipulation, cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of past bullying in future chapters.

Notes: This is my first time publishing my work. i have never been able to finish something but i finished this one month ago and i’ve been so insecure to post it soooo. i heard it’s good to post something even though you feel like it’s not good enough just to improve in someway! I already have planned the next drabbles. the timeline will jump back and forth and i’m really excited to write the next following parts. Also english is not my first language so please bare with me (but also let me know if you see any mistakes😭) if anyone reads this i hope you enjoy it!

——

You tried to not think about it too much. You tried, as your parents delivered the news, as you saw your sister’s face, the way it started to glow. You try not to think about it too much now, when you see her walking down the aisle, your father carrying her towards her future husband, a proud smile adorning his features.

Your father looks euphoric, invencible. Carries himself like he owns the world. He looks too happy, too happy for someone who just buried his daughter’s future. He ruined her life.

Momentarily, just for a second, you imagine what would happen if you stopped everything. Maybe make a quick distraction, take the gun out of one of the bodyguards, pretend you will shoot yourself or anyone at the wedding if they dare to not let your sister go. Such a morbid thought, maybe if you were brave enough you would stop this. You would’ve planned something, anything, to get your sister out of this situation but you don’t.

You were scared, a coward. But also the mafia was bigger than you. The Jeon’s were bigger than the mafia. and who would dare to go against them? not certainly you.

You feel something wet on your cheeks, pretty sure it was tears, they were already blurring your vision and fogging up your glasses. Your mother lets out a scoff.

“I told you to wear contacts.” but you don’t reply. You don’t even look at her, you keep your eyes on your sister, her shiny long black hair cascading down her back. “Get a hold of yourself. People are watching” she whispers harshly against your ear.

Biting your tongue, you nod.

When your sister gets to the altar, you dig your nails into your skin, your chin bobbling a little. Suddenly you feel an arm graze yours, from the corner of your eye you can see it’s SunHee.

Your one and only friend.

“It’s gonna be alright.” she takes your hand, giving it a squeeze. Your hand trembles against hers. “It’s gonna be okay.”

You let out a breath and swallow the pathetic cry that wants to rip out of your throat.

“Trust me.” she says this time more sternly “Everything will be fine.”

You bob your head and look ahead once again. And as the pastor starts speaking, and seconds turn into hours you realize it’s over. The veil has been lifted.

“Now I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Your sister has been kissed by the devil. There’s no turning back now.

——-

The chattering around you is not big enough to drown your own thoughts. Neither is the champagne that is being passed around. You’re on your second glass on an empty stomach, you’re pretty sure by now you should be fine. Less worried, less anxious. But no, you still feel like a ticking bomb, anxiety crawling all the way up to your chest. You’ve been taking deep breaths ever since you and your family arrived at the wedding reception, tugging the ends of your dress.

You haven’t been able to talk to your sister and you don’t think you will anytime soon. Your mother has been making sure you don’t cross paths with her and if you do, it’s quick glances. Your mother has been glued by your side. You can feel her eyes from the other side of the room, watching you like a hawk.

As another waitress passes by, you extend your hand to take another glass but the tray is pushed out of your way. You recognize those hands.

“I think that’s enough for tonight.” A deep voice says, making you shiver. “Don't serve more to her. Tell that to the others too.”

The waitress nods cordially and continues his way to the other guests.

“Y/N.” The way your name rolls out of his tongue, makes you grimace. You never liked it. It held a distinctive tone, as if talking to a child.

“Taehyung.”

He shifts closer to you. His body heat enfolding yours, you could smell his perfume.

“Are you okay?” he says softly, almost in a murmur.

“No.”

“Do you want to-

You turn your body to him, facing him fully. It caughts him off guard, making him stop on whatever he was about to say.

“Please don’t pretend you care.” and with that you leave, on trembling legs and heavy tears, threatening to spill out from your eyes.

Could this night get any fucking worse?

Making your way to the bathroom, you see another waitress coming from the left and without any much thought you take it from his hand, almost making the man fall on his back.

“S-Sorry.” You whisper dumbly, gripping the tray as if it was some sort of support and continue your way to the bathroom.

You breathe in relief once you see there’s no one there. Putting the tray full of glasses of champagne on the sink, you take two glasses as you settle yourself down on the floor. You drink one instantly, hiccuping after another one.

Your head starts to feel a little fuzzy but you don’t stop, not until there’s only three left and the bright bathroom lights seem brighter than before. You let out a giggle.

Standing up on wobbly legs, you wonder how much time has passed. Maybe not so much, since no one has bothered to get into the bathroom after you got in. Making your way to the door, you struggle to open it, making you frown.

“Stupid door open up.” you mumble while you twist and pull but nothing happens. You keep trying and trying until a silky voice halts your movements.

“Sunflower?”

Your chest feels heavy, like all the air has been sucked out of your lungs and suddenly you feel like throwing up.

“Sunflower?” he hums, making the hairs on your arms stand up, goosebumps covering your skin in seconds. “Are you in trouble,sunflower? do you need my help?”

You stumble back, almost falling on your ass. You feel cold and sweaty. Like needles are penetrating your skin. The handle starts to jiggle.

“Sunflower, i know you’re in there. But don’t worry, darling, i will get you out.”

The handle twists painfully slow as your heart sinks in your chest. Taking a step back this time you do fall. Just in time as he opens the door, his sardonic smile greeting you.

He closes the door behind him and you hear a click.

Thump.

The sound of his chelsea boots hitting the marble floor matches the beating of your heart. You’re trembling and all the champagne you’ve drank threatens to spill out of your throat. Soft hands get a hold of your chin, his thumb tentatively running down your throat. You let out a whimper.

“My my, look at you, sunflower. Did you have too much fun?” He giggles sweetly, showing his pearly white teeth and moon eye smile.

To any other person Park jimin was the charming prince, a soft voice with gentle features. He looked so innocent. But for those who belonged in this life knew that looks could be deceiving. He was deadly as he was sweet.

Your lips tremble and you try to get away from his hands but he holds you firmly. His eyes hardening as you try to put some distance between you two.

“Always so stubborn. Do we have to tell every single waiter out there to not serve you alcohol or are you finally gonna behave like the good girl you are?” His thumb presses down harshly on your neck and you wonder if he can feel how fast your heart is beating.

You swallow, your throat feeling dry and rather than answering him, you look at him. You know he’s not done, with the way he’s staring at you, his dark eyes almost burning yours.

“You’re lucky I was the one who found you here and not him. You know that right?” His jaw tenses while he speaks, his plump lips now formed into a thin line. He’s pissed. “Nod if you understand”

And you do, automatically, like a robot.

“Now, sunflower, you’re gonna clean yourself up.” you nod again and the ends of his mouth quirk at that. “You will go out and smile. Maybe laugh a little too. It’s your sister’s wedding, darling. Cheer up. It’s supposed to be fun.”

You shiver at his latest words and you almost tremble. You try to not let it show. How his wording of choice affected you, how you physically revolted at them. But Jimin sees right through you. He always did.

He smiles once again, his fingers gently caressing your face.

“Always so pretty when you cry.” He murmurs softly, his gaze focusing on your face and then it goes lower, stopping at your lips.“See you out there, sunflower. Don’t forget you still owe me a dance.” and with that he leaves.

——

You drank too much. You regret it deeply and now you’re sleepy. Your eyes threaten to close every five minutes, it’s annoying really, trying to keep yourself awake. You have to pinch yourself or dig your nails into your skin, maybe a little pain will wake you up. So you do, you pinch and dig until there’s a red spot on your arm, until it burns.

You don’t stop until you see Sunhee coming your way, her arm entangled with Taehyung's. You stiffen a little.

“You need a bed, immediately.” Says your friend sweetly while she runs her hand through your hair.

She looks at you with so much pity. And you hate it. You know Sunhee truly cares about you, too much, sometimes you feel like a burden. Always by your side, always wiping your tears, always defending you. Sunhee deserved a friend, not someone who needed to be babysat.

She continues to touch you, patting your head lovingly and you don’t miss the way Taehyung eyes her hand, dark orbs observing every movement, the way his hand tightens on her waist, making her stumble back a little, her hand no longer close to reach you.

“You’re messing up her hair, honey. You don’t want Y/N’s head to end up looking like a bird nest, do you?” he tells her with a playful smile, making Sunhee laugh.

She pokes him on the stomach funnily, making him laugh too, but to your ears it doesn’t sound as truthful.

“You’re right, you’re right. Sorry Y/nie.” She says with a cheeky smile and then proceeds to peck her boyfriend’s lips. “I’m gonna get more wine. Do you want some?” Taehyung declines and then Sunhee Looks at you. “Y/N?”

Once again you feel those eyes on you. They’re so heavy. so intense that it makes you breathless. You shake your head and Sunhee nods. “Alright. i’ll be right back.”

When Sunhee leaves, the room feels smaller. Suffocating . You wish you could disappear, you wish you could be invisible. You just wanted to be left alone. Before you knew it, that same perfume invades your senses. He’s so close but you don’t dare to look up.

“Look at me.”

And even though his deep voice gives you goosebumps, you ignore him. You’re tired. So tired.

“The night just stared, YN. don’t be so sulky. I hate seeing you like this” He continues to say, his hand now on your arm and you hate it so much. You hate his body touching yours or the way he talks like he cares, like he’s being sincere. “This is a new beginning for us. For all of us.”

This time you look up, slowly. A small mocking smile adorning your lips.

“There is no us.”

And he mirrors you, his eyes now demonstrating a shine they didn’t have before. He loves your eyes matching his, his heat engulfing yours, the way you talk to him even though it irradiates with dislike. He loves it.

“But there is. There is for me, for Jimin and for him. It has always been an us, and there always will be.”

You press your lips in a tight line. You won’t cry again, not in front of him or them watching.

“Why are you doing this? I thought you were different.” and even though you don’t let your tears fall your voice cracks, betraying you.

He seems taken back for a few seconds, and you swore you could see something else in his eyes besides mirth. But it’s gone as quick as you perceive it.

“I told you I will always be by your side. Didn’t I?”

And before you can reply, Sunhee comes back, drink in her hand and the other around her boyfriend’s neck.

“What are you two talking about? Are you gossiping without me?”

Taehyung eyes you briefly before looking back at his girlfriend, giving her one his usual seductive boxy smiles. He shakes his head and says. “Not at all. Just movies, love.”

—-

Your feet hurt when you go back to the hotel for standing up so much, you’re glad the night is over. Your mother complains beside you, talking about how you didn’t even dare to look at your sister while she was dancing with her now-husband. How disrespectful you were for denying Jimin a dance.

“I didn’t raise you for you to have such poor manners. This is why you’ll never get married, you’re ungrateful and a brat. No one wants to marry a brat.” She barks and huffs but you’re too tired to care.

Also, you’re used to it.

“I’m sorry, mother.”

“You better be.” she spits back and walks ahead of you.

You sigh, your feet hurt so much, this is why you avoid wearing heels. You will never get used to them or the pain that comes with it. You plop yourself down in one of the stool bars located in the lobby, from your peripheral vision you could see your mother getting on the elevator. She didn’t wait for you. Good. You didn’t want to hear anything else that came out of her mouth and also you needed to rest. Just for a few seconds.

Your phone vibrates and you see it’s a message from Sunhee.

Sunhee

did you guys get to the hotel??

Y/N:

yess. we arrived safely.

Sunhee:

Good. see you tomorrow y/nie. sleep well!!

Y/N:

you too. love youuu.

Sunhee:

love you toooooooo.

You smile at her text. What would you do without Sunhee? clicking out of the chat, your heart drops when you see your other unread messages. You don’t dare to reply. He’s muted for a reason and it will stay that way.

You decide to open youtube to distract yourself, letting your head fall on the bar counter. You blink slowly, once, twice, thrice and before you knew it, your breathing got slower and so did your racing heart. You let the darkness overtake you.

You fall asleep.

And it feels great, until you feel it. Calloused hands tenderly touching your face, it makes you gasp. And if it wasn’t for the hands that were previously caressing your face, you probably would’ve fell off the chair. Those hands that feel scorching hot on your waist, confining you side by side.

It’s terrifying the visceral reaction your body has when you feel him, when you see him. The exposed toned chest, the tattooed neck adorned with chains, you know him so well.

All those years and you’ll never get used to it. His touch.

The muscles on his arms seem to tense when you tighten your grip on him. You were starting to shake like a leaf and all it took you was to look up at the devil. He smiles at you and you can’t help but look down. That indisticve mole of his, right under his bottom lip and newly done piercing seem to greet you. He licks them, as if inviting you to get closer.

Time feels like it has stopped and your breathing shortens when he cuts the distance between you two even more. His chest touching yours. Your entire body seems to be overcomed by electricity.

“Angel eyes.” He murmurs, dark big eyes pinning you down, his hands now on your hips, his thumbs going in painfully slow circular motions. You could almost feel his eyelashes grazing your cheeks. It makes you visibly gulp. “Why weren’t you replying to my texts, hmm?”

He stares at you deeply, as if he’s ready to pounce on you. It makes the hairs on your neck stand up, you don’t like it at all. When he looks at you that way, as if he’s ready to devour you whole.

At the lack of your response he hums, inspecting your face while he plays with his lip ring. His big hand is now holding your face by your chin. He smiles once again, showing a perfect set of white teeth. He looks delighted.

“Why are you so quiet? won’t you congratulate me?” His voice displays excitement while his thumbs trace your lips.

The rings on his finger feel cold against your skin and you wish you could get away from him.

“To be honest, I'm quiet worried about you. You look a little troubled, angel eyes. What’s going on inside that little pretty head of yours? Come on, you can talk to me. After all, we’re like family now.”

Your jaw clenches at his words and your stomach churns in disgust. God, you really wanna throw up.

“We-We’re not family. You will never-

His thumb on your lips silences you completely. His breath now tickling your right cheek makes you itch all over. You feel his mouth close to your ear.

“And thank fucking god for that. It would be terrible if you were. Don’t you think so, angel eyes? cant go around wanting to fuck a family member. ” he says lowly and then his tongue travels from your neck all the way up to your lobe, leaving a wet trail and you can’t help let out a yelp, immediately pushing him away with all the strength you could muster.

Jungkook's eyes widen comically and so does his eyebrows. He lets out a hearty laugh.

“You never fail to make me laugh. You’re so fucking adorable, angel eyes, i wish i could i keep you next to me all times.”

“You’re sick.” You spit.

“That 's no way to talk to your brother-in-law. What would your mother think? her daughter and that nasty mouth of hers. Luckily I won't tell a soul.” He croons mirthfully, sporting his go-to sardonic smile. One you know so well. The one that has been haunting you for the past ten years, even in your dreams you couldn’t get away from him.

Your hands form into a fist and you’re pretty sure you’re shaking but not from fear but from rage this time. You hate him so much. You hated him so much that you fantasized about killing him. Nothing would bring you more pleasure than seeing him gone from your life, from your sister’s. Forever.

“I’m good at keeping secrets, remember?” he continues, getting closer to you once again. Feline eyes almost cutting through yours. “That’s why we get along so well, don’t we? sometimes I think that’s why you and I-

You stand up abruptly.

“Shut. up.”

He holds a finger to his chin, as if he’s actually thinking about it.

“I can find a few ways to do so but I would need your help.” He says tauntingly. The ends of his mouth twitching slightly. “Ever heard of face-sitting, angel eyes?”

And before you know it you lunge at him, your fist colliding with his chest. And you feel pathetic instantly . Your small moment of bravery dying as soon as you touch him. Jungkook is so much stronger than you. Any attempt of physical harm from you feels like a faint tickle to him.

A laugh bubbles out of his chest. It makes your ears ring, because it sounds so real, as if it’s coming from a child. But wasn’t that really Jungkook? A child in a man’s body.

What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine.

What he wants, he gets. Always throwing a fit when things didn’t go his way, punching things, smashing things, killing things. Your mother talked about brats but she has never met one like Jungkook.

The vibrations coming out of his chest while he still laughs at you made you realize this: he was truly enjoying this. You will always be his source of laughter, something he could toy with, make fun of, pick at it and then later on ridicule.

He hugs you, after he pins your arms down, his chin resting on your shoulder. You feel him inhaling the scent of your hair.

“My sweet angel, this is just the beginning for us. For all of us.” You don’t know when you start crying, maybe when he snuggles into you even more, when you realize this is your reality now. There’s no way to escape. maybe there never was. You’re trashing against him, but he holds you tightly.

He will never let you go.

None of them will.

“We told you we will always be by your side, didn’t we? We will keep you forever.”

#yandere bts #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #yandere jimin #yandere taehyung #yandere jungkook #jimin fanfic #taehyung fanfic #bts au #jungkook smut #jimin smut #taehyung smut #bts mafia au #jungkook fanfic #vminkook #vminkook x reader

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kokonut3953 · 1 month

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“Go to bed, Goggles!” Insomniac!Varian X Reader

__________________________

Hi, my little marshmallows! Thank you to alchemicalwerewolf for the request! This post was SUPPOSED to go out 3 days ago, on Varian’s birthday, but it’s coming out of March 27 because I’ve been REALLY sick. Like. Im struggling here 😭😭😭…AAAANYWAYS. Let’s go!!

Y/N’s pronouns: They/them

Type: Fluff, angst

Warning: Swear words

DISCLAIMER: I’m not very knowledgeable about insomnia, I might get information wrong.

__________________________

You’re over at your boyfriend’s lab. It’s 2 am as of now and you’re *trying* to get him to go to sleep.

“C’mon, goggles. When was the last time you went to sleep? I’m asking seriously.” Y/N crosses their arms.

“Hmmm…I went to bed three days ago…that’s enough, right?”

“N-No, it’s really not…” Y/N just stares.

“It’s enough for me, sweetie! I’m not even tired!” He yawns.

“V, you’re yawning. Of course you’re tired. You can’t just ignore your needs.”

“Oh please, (nickname)! I’ll be fine, no worries! It’s all worth it for alchemy!” Varian takes a sip of the hot cocoa that Y/N made for him.

“Varian, you know I can’t let you fuck around and find out what happens with no sleep. You’re going to pass out in the daytime. That’s what always happens to me. I know you only sleep like- once a week. And you know I can’t let you do that.”

Varian lets out a small yawn. “Even so, I can almost never go to sleep. I…I just can’t. Even if I could, I can’t yet. Not while my father is still encased.” An angry look is plastered on his face.

“Varian…please, listen to me. I…no matter what you do, I will stand beside you. But I can’t see you push yourself like this. You can work on freeing your dad tomorrow, okay?” Y/N brushes Varian’s hair out of his face. “Please, goggles? Go to bed?”

“Y/N…I-I’m sorry, but I can’t listen to you. I know what’s right. I’m going to free my father, I don’t care how long it’ll take. I’ll sacrifice weeks worth of sleep before I even think of going to bed for 8 hours.”

He mixes up a chemical, before pouring it on the amber…he waits. “C’mon…c-c’mon-please…” Y/N and Varian watch closely. The chemical evaporates, not doing anything. Varian’s body tenses up, before tears roll down his face. He pounds his fist on the amber.

“FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.” As Varian pounds his fist on the amber, he starts to bleed. Y/N drags him away.

“Goggles! You’re going mad! You’re not yourself right now!” Y/N grabs and hugs him.

“No…no…no no no nonononono…i-it’s not…why didn’t it work? I-I-It was supposed to work. It’s not right. I-It’s not…” Varian just stares at the chemical.

After hyperventilating for a bit, Varian hugs back.

“Y/N…I didn’t want to tell you this, but…I’m scared.”

“Scared?”

“Terrified. What if…what if I never see my father again? What if…he’s stuck here f-for years? The rest of my life, even?” *Varian starts shaking.

Y/N removes their headphones and puts them on Varian. “Varian, I know you’ll see your dad. I know you’ll find a way. You’re so smart. You can do it, I believe in you. But…out of good conscience, I can’t let you do this without going to bed. Please, Varian.”

Varian pauses “W-Will you cuddle me before I sleep?”

Y/N smiles, before kissing his cheek. “Of course I will. I won’t leave you.”

“Then…fine. I’ll go to bed…”

“Good.” Y/N picks up the 5’2 (A/N: I’M NOT JOKING, HE’S 5’2…GOOGLE IT.) boy and leads him to bed. They cuddle him tightly. Kissing his forehead.

Though Varian finds it extremely difficult, he starts drifting off to sleep.

Y/N and Varian fall asleep together. Varian sleeps for the first time in three days.

__________________________

Oooookay! We are done! alchemicalwolf, I hope that was good enough! I haven’t been writing fics for too long, oneshots are a bit tricky to me. I will get better with time!!!!

Soooo everyone, please give me more requests (in either the comments or my ask box) so I can write for you guys and improve my writing! Bye-bye for now, my little marshmallows!

#tts #tts varian #tangled #varian #varian vat7k #varian x reader #vat7k #tts fanfic #fanfic #oneshot #request #requests #varian tts

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dangantums · 2 months

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I KNOW I HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO REQUESTS YET BUT… i was soooo inspired by this post here that i had to write out a fic… @tum-bakery you never fail to inspire me with ur a.ce a.ttorney or stuffedronpa content

forgive me for any grammatical mistakes or anything of the sort, i wrote this really quick on mobile

Fly On The Wall

ship: w.rightworth

this fic contains: bloated belly, burps, belly rubs, button popping

TLDR: m.iles accidentally spies on p.hoenix stuffing himself after court one day.

In Miles and Phoenix’s shared cozy apartment, the aroma of fast food filled the air as Phoenix Wright sat at the kitchen table, surrounded by empty wrappers and containers that littered their kitchen counter. The attorney was working his way through his final half-eaten burger: work made him absolutely starving, so he decided to indulge and grab extra food on the way home from work. Grease stained his fingers as he took another bite, his movements once quick and efficient were now slow and labored, like he was chewing molasses. His eyelids drooped, tiredness hitting him like a truck. He was so tired that, in fact, he failed to notice his boyfriend Miles Edgeworth staring at him from the other room.

Miles sat at the dining room table, head turned to stare at Phoenix’s form. Legal documents remained bare, his laptop dimmed from the lack of usage to save battery. The attorney hadn’t even said as much as a ‘hello’ to Miles before he shoved the food onto the kitchen counter and began eating. And Miles has been watching him. Silently observing him this whole time. Like a fly on the wall, it’s like he wasn’t even there.

Phoenix’s once trim abdomen now bulged outward, straining against the fabric of his shirt as though pleading for mercy. The buttons threatened to pop open under the pressure. Labored breaths filled the room as he finally polished off the burger he held in his hand. Phoenix leaned back in the chair to close his eyes for a moment, a soft sigh escaping him as one hand now rubbed the side of his taut belly. His bloated belly protruded prominently, dominating his lap.

That was nearly the end of Miles. He felt his face grow red, cheeks hot to the touch as he quickly looked away. He stared at his dim laptop screen, the words in the email he was writing becoming jumbled in his head. All he could think about was Phoenix. How devourable and amazing he looked at that very moment. The prosecutor attempted to force himself back to work, leaning forward in the chair to look down at a sheet of paper he had next to the computer. As Miles attempted to meticulously review the legal intricacies of the case, noises started coming from the kitchen and he couldn't help but be distracted. Phoenix belched several times — and with each burp, Miles’ attention wavered, his thoughts drifting from his work to the scene playing out before him.

He had to look at Phoenix again. His gaze darted over to look at the man sitting at the kitchen counter. Phoenix was now gently rubbing his overfilled belly, hoping to alleviate some of the discomfort. His hand moved in slow circles, tracing the contours of his swollen abdomen as he tried to soothe the ache within. Miles watched with a mixture of amusement, bewilderment and affection, his eyes never leaving Phoenix's bloated form.

As Phoenix let out a long sigh, his bloated belly expanding prominently, a sudden *pop* echoed through the kitchen. His eyes widened in surprise as he felt the unmistakable sensation of a button giving way beneath the strain of his overfilled stomach. With a mixture of disbelief and amusement, Phoenix glanced down to see a button from his shirt lying innocently on the table, severed from its thread like a casualty of war. His mouth gaped open in surprise, like a fish out of water.

So did Miles’.

Miles swore his face couldn’t turn any more red. Couldn’t burn any hotter. But it did, like a blazing inferno, scalding to the touch. His hands tightened into a fist, desperate to grab something, but could only paw at the sheer tablecloth. His heart pounded in his chest, the thumping rang through his ears and echoed in his skull. Phoenix looked so devourable at this moment.

"Oops," Phoenix had muttered sheepishly, hands feathering gentle touches into his skin. The attorney chewed on the bottom of his lip before an expression that displayed a mixture of discomfort and determination appeared on his face. Phoenix pushed himself up from his chair, his bloated belly protesting with every movement. As he stood, he felt the full weight of his meal pressing heavily against him, causing him to wince slightly at the strain. With a steadying breath, Phoenix squared his shoulders and attempted to walk, his movements slow and deliberate as he tried to navigate the kitchen with his swollen abdomen. Each step was a struggle, his distended belly impeding his progress as he waddled awkwardly across the room.

Miles tried to speak, but words failed him. He could only watch as Phoenix waddled out of sight, presumably to their shared bedroom to sleep off that damn food coma. Miles blinked quickly, eyes fixated on the now empty chair and the empty wrappers that littered their kitchen counter. All Miles wanted to do at that moment was chase Phoenix down and tell him that he liked what he saw, but… he couldn’t.

Miles was just a fly on the wall.

#fic #burps #belly kink #a.ce a.ttorney #ace a.ttorney #a.ce attorney #m.iles edgeworth #m.iles e.dgeworth #p.hoenix w.right #p.hoenix wright #bloated #bloated burps

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aphroditesbaby1616 · 2 months

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The Bear & His Honey Chapter 7 -

Inspo: Lyrics - False God (TS) ; “We might just get away with it, religions in your lips, even if it’s a False God - We’d still worship.” ***18+ ONLY FIC - NO MINORS ALLOWED*** Summary: Winnie readys her apartment to hang out with Carm for the first time. She pulls out all the stops, fresh sheets, a massage candle, wine. Things get hot and heavy in the bedroom, as well as the shower. Carmen experiences being taken care of for the very first time. Late-night pizza ensues. W/C: 7,894 Posted Date: 02/18/2024 A/N: Hellooo! Ugh ok so I’m starting this on the weekend because I can NOT bring myself to write hard porn at work LMAO so that should tell you something about how this chapter is going to be. I wish soo bad that I could stick a USB in my brain and download the scenes I create in my head when i’m falling asleep bc they’re soooo juicyyyy ugh. I hope you all like this!! I don’t think at first with a partner Carm would be a confident dom because he hasn’t had much time for that kind of play- but with the right kind of partner she would reel the dominance out of him which I hope I displayed that here!! Warnings for BTC: Drinking, Swearing, Smut (p in v, face sitting, oral (m&f giving&recieving), shower sex, cum play (kinda)), spanking, Fluff

︵‿︵‿୨♡ 𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙊𝙪𝙩 𝙈𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚！ ♡୧‿︵‿︵

→ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞!

₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽

Winnie’s P.O.V. -

I unlocked the door to my apartment quickly, knowing I wanted to do multiple things before Carm arrived. “Hey baby” I coo to Persephone who was waiting by the door. She meows at me repeatedly as if she's going ‘Mom! Where did you go?! Why do you keep leaving me!! What happened to reading after work?!’ Whilst I took my phone out of my purse and quickly sent Carm a text containing my floor and apartment number.

“I knowww, I know!” I told her as I unbuckled my heels and slipped them off, scooping them up and heading to my room. Persephone makes quick work of weaving in between my legs as I walk causing me to giggle. “What! You already ate Miss!” I told her and dumped my shoes off in my closet, taking off my simple studded pearl earrings and dumping them into my Hello Kitty jewelry dish sitting atop my dresser.

Sephy jumped up onto the bed, watching as I untied my hair bow and I walked over, waving it around in front of her, to which she rolled on her back attacking it with her feet causing me to giggle. “Missy! I have work to do! We have a guest coming in a few hours! It’s Carmen! Oh my god, I haven’t had a boy over in so long!” I giggled like a schoolgirl, so giddy this was happening. I dropped the ribbon on her belly for her to play with and went off to the kitchen, taking out a clear pink wine glass from my cabinet and setting it down on the counter before uncorking a bottle of red wine from the fridge and pouring myself a big glass.

I put the wine back in its spot, and took a big sip, going and setting it in the bathroom for myself before heading back into the bedroom where Persephone was still fighting with my ribbon atop my bed. “C’mon,” I grunt playfully as I pick her up causing her to meow in annoyance. “Let’s go fluff-a-butt, I need fresh sheets,” I told her and put her down gently on the couch before heading to the linen closet grabbing a fresh pair of lavender jersey sheets, and heading back to the bedroom.

I made quick work of undressing my bed and redressing it. Before I put the duvet back on, I got my ‘Fairy Dust’ from lush that smelt like honeysuckle, and gently sprinkled it over the sheets. This way, when Carmen is in the sun after he leaves my bed- he will glow, and any girl with a mind will know that he has one already. It was not at all noticeable inside, only in direct sunlight or a flashlight was directly over it, so he wouldn’t ever know my territorial tricks.

I also sprayed some honey lavender relaxing bed mist before putting on the duvet and making sure I got a few sprays on there as well. I rearranged my many throw pillows and a glorious thought hits my brain- that massage oil candle I haven’t used. I giggled to myself as I practically bounced over to my closet, rummaging through one of my many doom boxes before I found it. “Yes!” I whisper to myself and put all the other contents back away in the closet, shutting the door.

I lit the candle on my nightstand, knowing it would need an hour or so to burn until there was enough oil for a decent massage, and checked the time, perfect, still just over an hour until he was supposed to be here. I undressed quickly and went to my bathroom taking off my makeup and putting my hair up into a messy knot to shower. I down the rest of my wine before jumping into the steaming water, scrubbing down my body, and grabbing my razor. Most of the shower was spent shaving myself to maximum softness, and then exfoliating myself until I was essentially a new human when I got out.

I dried off quickly, dumping my dirty clothes in my hamper as well as my towel before running into my bedroom and slipping on a pair of black cheeky panties with little kiss marks patterned because a full-out lingerie set would seem desperate - right? I open my dresser draw, pulled out a ribbed light grey baby tank that I knew made my boobs look amazing without a bra on, and chucked it on my bed and then found some loose-fitting Hello Kitty printed pajama bottoms that I threw on the bed as well.

₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽₊ ˚ ✩ ｡˚ ˚☽

I was on the couch, trying my best to read my book after my second glass of wine, when I heard a light knock at the door and Persephone sat up from her position next to me, confused as to who would be here at this hour. I feel my heart start to thump in my chest, sitting up and putting my book down I got up, shuffling over to the door in my pink bear paw slippers. I look through the peephole and see Carm leaned against the wall and smiled, unlocking and opening the door quickly.

“Hey you!” I said and he smiled upon seeing me, his hair still slightly damp from his shower. “Hey” he said and stepped forward, I wrap my arms around him and give him a passionate kiss, gently playing with his damp girls between my fingers and pulling him inside, shutting the door with my foot and leaning against the door as he pressed me against it, tugging lightly at the hair.

He pulls away and kisses from my chin down my neck, around my collar bones and biting gently causing me to giggle “Carmen!” I gasp a bit at the sensation as he settles his nose in the hill of my breasts and inhales deeply. “I’m sorry” he mumbles in to my skin and I smack his shoulder playfully. “What, are you a dog?” I asked jokingly and he chuckled “you just smell sooo fucking good I’ve been wanting to do that ‘m sorry” he kissed up my neck and gently bites down and I tugged my lip between my teeth, gently tugging at his hair to pull him away.

“You’re gonna get the party started too fast c’mon mister, to the bedroom” I said and there’s a soft meow and he looks down as Persephone greets him, rubbing up against his leg and curling her tail around it. “Ohh” he whispered his eyes lighting up. He immediately crouches down to pet her and she rolls on her back for him displaying her big belly.

“Oh wow” he said happily “she’s so sweet!” He said excitedly and pet her gently. I smiled “how’d I know you’d be a cat guy” I lean against the wall and watch as she leans up to bat at the string of his hoodie. He giggled a bit, dangling it in front of her and chuckling when she gets ahold of it nibbling gently. “C’mon stop tryna steal my friends Sephy” I joked and opened my bedroom door and he stood up, his eyebrows raising.

“Wow…” he said and I splay my arms dramatically. “My humble abode!” I giggled “Hope you don’t mind music I always have it playing” I turned down my JBL speaker sitting on the nightstand. “Very…pink” he said and I giggle “mmhmm! I love it it’s my favorite color” he follows me in and Sephy jumps on to her hammock that was attached to my window. “D-do you have a kid?” He asked as his eyes raked over my shelf in the corner that was stuffed with different pink and other pastel Squishamellow toys.

I raise my eyebrow quizzically “no…do you have a kid?” I put my hand on my hip. “No! No. Absolutely not just…” he motioned with his hand and I laugh. “Oh my god you’re not one of those guys are you?” I asked and his cheeks go red. “Huh? N-no I- it’s cute I…I like it I’ve just never met..” he trails off. “Someone who..caters to their inner child?” I asked and walked over, petting Persephone. “The hell is that?” He asked, taking off his sneakers.

“You’ve never heard of an inner child?” I asked scratching her chin. “No..” he said and I motion to my bed “you can sit” I said and he does so. “It’s your original self, before the world molded you. And damaged you. It helps me, to be in a room like this. Because I never got it when I was little, and it feels healing to give it to myself. I imagine the little girl that I was still lives in me, and she deserves the world, so I try giving it to her” I said and came and sat next to him. He nodded, “that’s…really cool..I’ve never uh- heard of it” he said and I smile a bit.

“Want me to do your massage while we continue question for question?” I asked and he smiled softly. “Sure…uh so- so how should we..” he asked and I nod “so I think..well you told me you carry most of your stress in your back so I think I’ll start there and then you can better tell me what else hurts” I said and he nodded, sitting up a bit. “Are you..comfortable taking your shirt off?” I asked softly and his blush meets the bridge of his nose and he nods quickly “uh- y-yeah. Yeah.” He said and I got up “ok so.. just lay on your tummy and relax. Did you want some wine?” I asked he nods with a small smile. “Sure”

I headed out to the kitchen, grabbing another pink wine glass and topping off mine as well and coming back to see him shirtless on the bed. I swallowed thickly, trying not to stare as I pad back “here you go” I said and handed him his glass, taking a big sip of my own. I’d already had 2 glasses, but I was still feeling a bit nervous. He took a sip and I looked at his chest, my eyes locked on the little triangle. “What’s it mean?” I asked and he looked down. “Oh, this?” He runs his finger over it. “Past, present and future.” He shrugs and I nodded.

“You have any tattoos?” He asked and I nodded “oh, shit! Yeah I forgot you haven’t seen them” I pull down my pants slightly where they were covering the angel and devil babies adorning my hipbones and hike up my shirt to just below my breasts, showing the sun and moon motif with the clouds. He raised his eyebrows, “wow…those are fuckin sick” he muttered, running his finger along the devil baby. “What does it mean?” He asked and I fixed my clothes again, “the meeting of light and dark and good and evil” I shrugged and he nods.

“Well…yours are deep. I just got this cause I’m a fuckin chef” he holds up his hand, with the knife on it. “This is because I’m constantly fuckin fighting with my family’s shit” he shows me the one of the angels and the grim reaper with the liquor bottle. “What’s…SOU?” I took his hand, gently running my hand over his knuckles. “Oh it’s..” he chuckled a bit. “Sense of urgency..” he looked at me and my brows crinkle.

“In a kitchen, everything is done SOU, with a sense of urgency. It just uh…reminds me to keep movin’ ya know? Always pick up the pace” he said and I nodded. “Here, lay.” I said and blow out the candle. “It may be a little bit hot, this is a massage candle- it’ll feel super hot at first but it’ll feel good after a second.” I explained and he snorted lightly. “I’ve been burned with oil, fire, boiling water. That’ll be nothing.” He said and I shook my head. “Such a dangerous career you have” I teased and knelt on the bed next to him as he got comfortable on his stomach.

“Uh… it’ll be easiest if I like..straddle you, is that okay?” I asked “ye’. Yeah. That’s fine” he cleared his throat and tucked his arms under his chin resting his cheek on his forearm. “Ok..I’m gonna pour it now” I said and gently drip the wax on his back, to which he doesn’t even flinch. “Hmm” he hums. “That’s hot to you?” He asked and I giggle. “Ya’ know, I think you may be a psycho, that- or a masochist” I said and gently rub the oil over his back to be sure I had an easy time working the muscles.

“Well I think it’s the psycho thing but if you’re into masochism then I’m more than happy to oblige” he said and I giggled. “Such a people pleasure” I sighed, “okay… so where did we leave on our game?” I asked and he hummed “I dunno…your hands are really soft” he said softly, his eyes fluttering shut. I found a sizable knot at the base of his neck and started working it, he whimpers softly beneath me bringing a frisky smirk to my lips “its ok..it hurts but it’ll feel good in a second, Jesus Carm, how are you walking around with this?” I said, using the knuckle of my thumb to work it out and he groaned softly.

“Oh my god Winnie” he said softly. “Fuck…” he said as I drag my thumb in circles, completely releasing the tension in that spot. “Told you I was good” I hum, moving to a slightly less tense knot on the other side. “So fucking good holy shit” he moaned softly causing me to giggle. “Ohh, you poor baby has no one been taking care of you?” I coo teasingly and he smiles, eyes still blissfully shut and chuckles a bit. “No, you can absolutely take the position- ah” he hisses as I work a particularly tight spot in his left shoulder.

“Mmm.. you’re right handed aren’t you?” I hum, working it gentler, easing the tension out slower so it wasn’t so intense. “Yes? W-how do you know that?” He asked and I worked it deeper, being sure to get out all the stressed energy he held there. “Because your left side is wrecked with stress, baby” I mumbled, digging my fingers deeper into the tenseness. He whimpered softly. “Hmm…please honey” he moaned, causing the ends of my lips to upcurl in a smirk.

“Course baby” I said softly, working that area a bit harder. “So…since we don’t remember who ended the last time,” I said quietly. “My question first, then, have you thought about fucking me, Carmen” I asked boldly, my fingers digging in to the tender, sensitive, most tense spot in his left shoulder causing him to whimper beautifully. “Y-yes…yes Winnie fuck…” he mumbled softly, his breath hitching in his throat. “Hmm…Have you jacked off thinking of me?” I asked softly, massaging my fingers in to the most tender spot of the muscle causing him to gasp and mutter a low “Jesus fucking Christ”

“Y-yes. Yes.” He whined, his shoulder inching towards my touch. “Y-Yes.. yes, every time since we met.” He breathed and I worked on his shoulder blades, earning a raspy moan. “Anything to ask, baby?” I said softly, gripping the knots in his muscly skin with the soft pads of my fingers. “Fuck” he groaned, biting his lip sharply. “Ah- shit I- I can’t focus” he muttered as my fingers smoothed out the toughest knots throughout his back. “Then..can I ask you another?” I asked softly.

“Mmhmm” he moaned softly, the music softly playing though out my my bedroom.

I gripped his most sensitive spots, earning a raspy moan to spill from his lips. “roll over, baby” I muttered and got off his back, allowing him to roll as I told him.”You’re…so fuckin’ perfect honey” he breathed. I quickly straddled his chest, my hands running absentmindedly over the toned muscle that laid beneath my frame.

“I just wanna make you feel good” I said softly and rubbed over his chest, massaging his biceps and forearms. “You really don’t have any questions?” I ask, a smirk dancing on my lips. His cheeks redden, the bridge of his nose going a soft pink. “C-can you take this off?” He asked, thumb playing with the edge of my tank top. I giggle, crossing my arms over and taking it off in one swift motion, and throwing it to the floor.

“Better?” I asked and his pupils darkened, swallowing thickly. “Fuck…you do have them pierced” he said and I smile proudly “mmhmm. You would look hot with yours pierced” I traced my forefinger over his nipple. “Can I touch you?” He asked softly and I laughed a bit. “Yes silly, you don’t have to ask” I said and he wasted no time grabbing my breast and massaging over my piercing with his thumb. I moaned softly, leaning in and kissing him wantingly.

He gently tugged on the jewelry causing me to moan into his mouth, tugging on his curls gently and rolling my hips into his. He groaned at the friction, his length was already achingly hard in his sweatpants. “Fuck, you make me feel like a fucking virgin” he muttered into my lips when we broke our heated kiss causing me to giggle. “Isn’t that a good thing?” I played with his chain gently “mmhmm, let me suck on your tits” he said and pulled me to his mouth causing me to laugh at his sudden boldness that quickly turned into a moan.

“Fuck yes baby take what you want” I moaned out my head draping back at the sensation of his tongue flicking over my nipples and sucking lightly. “Oh-“ I gasped in pleasure as he nipped lightly. My core was dripping with need, I could feel my pajama pants becoming uncomfortably wet. “I need you Carmy” I moaned and he pulled away, looking up at me.

“What do you want?” He asked and I push his shoulders down in to the bed “I want to ride your fucking face.” I said and his eyes widened “l-like-“ he swallowed thickly “please.” He nods “While I suck your cock.” I added and he nodded quickly “mmhmm- anything you want.” He said and I knelt on the bed, shimmying out of my panties and pajama pants “have you…” I questioned and he laughed.

“Yes oh my god should I be offended? Yes I’ve eaten pussy” he said and I shook my head with a giggle “no- like. Have you ever had your face ridden” I blushed and he nods “a few times- why? have you…” he questioned. “No…never.” I said, my cheeks heating more. He grinned “alright c’mon,” he laid back. I swallowed thickly and made my way up to his face, straddling him with my feet pressed to the headboard.

“Holy shit” he whispers and my head snaps down “what? Is something bad?” I asked and he chuckled lowly, his hot breath causing my core to twitch. “No…you have a really pretty pussy honey. C’mon, Sit” he pulled me down by my thighs onto his mouth and I gasped at the sensation lightly, resting my hands flat on his chest for support. I moaned loudly as his tongue circles my swollen clit, quickly flicking over it and slap a hand over my mouth to muffle the cry. “Oh fuck…Carmen” I moaned out, grinding in to his face.

He moaned into me, the vibration causing me to shudder at the pleasure it brought. “You taste fuckin’ amazing baby” he said and I leaned forward, hands shaking from the overstimulation and I pulled his member out of his boxers. I bit my lip, stifling a moan as he thrusts his tongue in my entrance. I swallowed hard looking at it, I would not be able to fit this whole thing in my mouth, it would be halfway down my throat if I took it all. I quiet my moan by sinking my mouth down on his cock, humming softly at the salty taste of precum already soaking his tip.

He moaned into me, causing my jaw to drop at the vibration and I sunk down deeper, hollowing my cheeks and whining into his length when his strong nose brushed my clit. I bobbed my head faster, grinding my hips into his mouth, feeling my core clenching and twitching, that feeling in my stomach growing tighter and more unbearable with each flick of his tongue. I pulled off his cock, my chin dripping with saliva from the sinful messy encounter.

“Fuck- c-carm, I’m so close” I whined out and he hums in satisfaction, I pump his cock in my right hand, my thumb rubbing over the tip with each stroke causing him to groan in to me. “Cum baby, cum on my face” he mumbled into my skin, his voice sultry and deep. I bit my lip, “I want you to cum inside of me” I said softly, my voice dripping with need. “What?” He stopped and I whined “I- I want you to cum in my pussy” I look back at him and his eyes widen.

“Are you…” he questioned and I nod “I have an implant. Please. Can I ride you Carmy” I beg and he nods “course…course you can” I got off him and quickly lined myself up, guiding his tip to my entrance and sinking down until he bottomed out. We moan in sync, his head falling back on the pillow, his eyes fluttering shut. “Oh fuckin’ hell” he muttered and I lean forward, his tip rubbing against my g-spot and I whine loudly. “Oh fuck” I moaned, bouncing slowly as I get used to the stretch.

“Fuck Carmy you’re huge I literally feel you in my stomach” I moaned out, bouncing harder and faster as I got used to the enormously full sensation. “Y’re so fucking tight baby” he grunted, watching my tits bounce as I quickened my pace. My walls started fluttering around him, my release right around the corner and my head fell back, my thighs shaking in exhaustion. Before I knew it he was flipping us over, and pounding in and out of me, the entire bed shaking and slamming against the wall.

I cry out, wrapping my legs around his waist and locking my ankles to push him deeper. My back arches up, eyes rolling back slightly in pleasure and head falling to the pillow “holy fuck” I whine loudly and opened my eyes to see his chain dangling and swinging in front of me with each powerful thrust. I gently take it between my teeth and look up at him through my eyelashes.

“Fuck honey” he says and I feel his cock twitch inside of me, he angles himself more upwards and I gasp loudly his chain falling from my teeth “there- oh my fucking god Carm don’t you dare move” I cried, eyes screwing shut and he pushes harder in to that spot, it wasn’t long until my walls were fluttering around him wildly and my legs were shaking in release “oh Carmy” I moaned like a pornstar, my back arching in pleasure. He fucks me through my release, and spills in to me with a grunt, resting on his elbow and breathing hard.

My eyes open and I look at him, eyes fluttered shut, forehead damp with sweat, but looking genuinely relaxed for the first time since I’d met him. I pulled him on top of me, humming happily at the feeling of his weight as I pulled him into a deep wanting kiss. I play with his hair gently, his curls damp slightly with sweat. “You did amazing, baby” I said softly when I pulled away and kissed his forehead tenderly.

“You were the one that was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever fucked like that” he said softly, rolling over and laying down with an exhausted sigh. “Well I think we should fuck like that much more often” I said and snuggled into his chest, pulling a fluffy pink blanket over us. He chuckled a bit “absolutely. And a plus your bed is comfy as shit it smells so good in here” he said, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

“I dunno why I didn’t picture you having tattoos” he said, thumb brushing over the devil on my hip causing me to smile. “Why’s that?” I ask and he chuckled “well firstly, getting a huge piece on your ribs and hips is insane for an only tattoo so pardon me for not guessing” he said causing me to giggle. “Why?” I asked and his eyebrows raise.

“Why? Because it hurts like a bitch” he rubs his thumb over my sternum. “I got my nipples done first” I said and he hummed, “how long did it hurt” he asked, rubbing his finger over it immediately causing it to perk up making him smirk.

“They’re super sensitive, that's one of the reasons I have them” I brush his hand down, holding it in my own. “And for like…7 or 8 months. I couldn’t start wearing bras again until like 3 months ago. I forgot how annoying they are.” I said and laced my fingers In his. He hums “I think you shouldn’t wear them, it’s hot as fuck I couldn’t stop staring when you answered the door” he said and I laugh.

“Mmhmm think I didn’t notice?” I poke his nose playfully. “You have quite the tongue by the way” I said and leaned up to kiss him, rubbing my tongue against his bottom lip to which he opened and I slipped my tongue into his mouth, humming in satisfaction at the taste of me on his tongue. He lifts his hand back up, tugging my nipple between his fingers gently causing me to moan and he smiles against my lips.

“Carm” I whine, “your cum is literally leaking out of me cause you’re making me wet again, stop” I said and he laughed. “C’mon let’s take a shower then yeah?” I him with a smile “yeah” I sit up, stretching my back.

“Ugh. Smells like sex In here” I scrunch my nose and he snorts “wonder why that is” I get up from the bed and went into the bathroom turning the shower on hot and looking in the mirror. I gasped “Carmen! You are so trashy!” I said pointing to the hickey that was on my neck and he chuckles “Shit I’m sorry I didn’t even realize, guess I was too caught up in it” he comes over, rubbing his thumb over it gently before placing a kiss on the area.

I cup his jaw gently and pull him into a sweet kiss, wrapping my arm around the back of his neck and pulling him closer. “ you’re lucky you’re cute” I told him when he pulled away and he smiled, his lips kiss swollen and pink. “Let me wash your hair” I said softly, playing with the curls at the base of his neck. “Okay” he said, rubbing the small of my back gently. I opened up the curtain

“If I can wash yours” he countered and I giggled a bit as I got in “got yourself a deal, don’t leave me lonely in here” I said and dipped my head back, closing my eyes and getting my hair soaked. He gets in and hisses when the water hits him “Holy fuckin’ hell Winnie” he said “why is it so hot?” He asked and I hummed. “It feels sooo good, you don’t take your showers like this?” I asked and he touched the water pulling his hand back after a few short seconds “holy shit how are you hot red after you get out?” He asked and I laughed.

“I am, it reminds me of being home with the other demons” I joked and turn it down a smidge for him “there, since you’re such a baby” I trade spots with him so he could wet his hair, having to angle she shower head up a bit for himself since I was much shorter. “No I think you’re just a hellraiser” he snorts. I grabbed the soap sudsing up my hands and gently rubbing over his chest and he peeks his eyes open. “Givin’ me the full treatment huh?” He asked and I smiled.

“Can’t a girl feel you up?” I teased and rubbed my hands over the toned muscle of his abs and stomach. “You are so hot” I said , my fingers dancing over his v-line and I looked up at him. He looked gorgeous, the water trailing over his shoulders and off the bridge of his nose as he tilted his head to soak his hair fully. “You really know how to get a guy knowing you know that?” He spins me around so my back is against his chest and he kisses my jaw, gently nipping causing me to gasp.

“Yeah?” I breathe, my fingers trailing up to play with his curls. His hand slides down my stomach, slipping his fingers between the folds of my heat and I gasp softly. He hums, gathering the product of our time in bed and my slick arousal over his fingers and holding them up, strings of the sticky creamy substance sticking to both of his fingers as he pulls them apart.

“That…is so fucking hot honey” he said and watches as I take his fingers in to my mouth, my tongue swirling around them, lapping up the sweet salty taste of our arousals mixed together and moaned softly at the taste, my eyes fluttering shut. He exhaled lowly, taking in the sight in front of him. “Such a dirty girl” he said hotly and I moaned softly around his fingers, pulling away with a ‘pop’ and looking at him innocently through my lashes.

“Bend over” he orders and I giggle like a brat “oooo, Carmy are you gonna punish me for being a dirty whore for you” I teased and his jaw drops slightly “Don’t worry, you can punish me however you want I’ll say apple if I want you to stop” I said and bit my lip gently. “Are you gonna spank me, Carmy” I kiss his jaw and I felt a sharp stinging sensation on my right cheek accompanied by a loud slap. I gasp, a soft moan tumbling from my lips.

“Is that all you-“ I’m cut off from my teasing when he slams his hand down on my left cheek, causing it to sting and I’m sure if I saw there would be a red handprint on my ass which just turned me on more. “I said, bend over.” He demanded and I turned around, bending over the bench I had to shave my legs and he rubbed over the stinging spot. “You’re gonna learn to listen to me” he said into my ear, his cold chain brushing my shoulder and making me shiver slightly.

I swallow thickly and nod, “y-yes” I manage out, pushing my bum back against him. He spanks me again, harder this time causing me to yelp. “Yes what?” He asked. “Yes- Yes Sir! I’ll be good, please fuck me” I whine and he chuckled a bit, reaching between my legs and rubbing my throbbing clit with his middle and ring fingers causing my knees to quiver.

“That’s a good girl” he whispered, placing a kiss between my shoulder blades and reaching up and gently tugging on my nipple jewelry causing me to moan. “P-please Carmy, please, I need your cock” I begged, resting on my elbows. “Yeah baby? You want me to fill you up again?” He asked, his tip teasing my entrance and I moaned, trying to sink back on him but only getting the tip in.

“Please- fuck Carmen I need you to fill me with your cum please” i whined out and he pushed in to me, bottoming out with one long stroke causing me to cry out, my eyes squeezing shut and seeing stars at the otherworldly mix of pain and pleasure. “Since you asked, so good baby. Those are the manners I want from you when we play, hm?” He hummed, holding my hips and fucking himself in to me with long hard strokes that had my thighs quivering under the weight of my body, struggling to hold myself up.

“Fuck Angel you take my cock so well” he groans out and I moan at his words, his strong hands holding me up by the ribs when he realized I was starting to have trouble standing. “Carm, fuck carm-“ I muttered his name like an invocation, my eyes fluttering shut and my orgasm washing over me before I could even warn him. He grunts at the feeling of my walls spasming around him, the only sound being the water and the slapping of our skin as he ravenously fucked me through my orgasm.

My knees shook, the sensation becoming slightly overwhelming. “Fuck, I gotcha’ honey, I gotcha” he held me with his forearm, kissing my neck with hot open kisses “almost there baby almost there- fuck” he moaned and my breath becomes shaky, my core tightening around him and releasing at each rut in to my g spot. “Carmen” I squeak out, tears rimming my eyes, “do you need me to stop baby?” He goes slower and I shook my head quickly “no, no. God fucking cum in me please” I begged and he picks the speed back up.

His hand slithers down and rubs over my clit with his fingers and I cry out, my hips jerking at the contact “c’mon sweet girl, cum again. Cum on my cock, I know you have another one for me baby” he kisses my jaw, nipping at the soft skin and I couldn’t even think, the only thoughts I could manage was how good his cock felt fucking me at such a hard pace, using me as his own personal stress relief. Before I knew it my third orgasm of the night was washing over me, I felt completely spent.

I shudder, nearly going limp under him and he grunts, unleashing a hot enormous load into me, holding me up as he finishes. His breathing was ragged and hot, he gently pulled me to his chest, his cock falling out of me and the sudden feeling of emptiness caused a whine to escape my lips. He kissed my forehead and I opened my eyes to look at him, he was smiling lazily.

“I really made you cum 3 times?” He asked and I nod a bit “I’ve never cum 3 times. I can barely stand, can you wash my hair first?” I asked softly and he nodded, gently setting me to sit on the bench that was built into my shower. “Are you ok?” He tilts my chin up so I look at him and I smile tiredly.

“Mmhmm. I really want pizza.” I said softly. He chuckled a bit, “my kinda girl. You know how late it is, right?” He raised his eyebrows looking over the assortment of scrubs and soaps in my shower, looking for the shampoo. I pointed to it and he grabbed it, gently pushing my hair from my face.

“We’ve been fucking 2 hours and you got here 20 minutes before that. So…2:30?” I asked and he snorted a bit, squeezing shampoo on the top of my head and gently massaging it into my scalp. “Strong sense of internal clock?” He asked and I hummed. “Not really, I’m judging based on how tired I feel” I sigh in to the feeling of his hands and he gently drags the shampoo over my ends.

“You have…so much hair. Jesus this is a lot” he said putting more shampoo in his hands and I laugh a bit “hence why I was surprised you asked to do it, but thank you for taking this chore off my todo list” I hummed moaning softly when he massaged the soreness behind my ears where my hair had been up.

“Mmhmm, it gets curly like yours when it’s really short, ‘s why I have to straighten my bangs” I yawned, covering my mouth with the back of my hand. He chucked a bit “that’s really cute, curly red hair” he said and finished shampooing. “Thank you I feel better” I look up at him and puckered my lips, he took the offer kissing me sweetly.

I hummed into the kiss, cupping his jaw and my thumb running over the stubble that had grown over the course of the day. “Your turn” I said when he pulled away and got up, rinsing my hair out and closing my eyes, humming softly to myself. “Eva told me you sing” he said softly and I smiled. “Well, for fun. Not like I should be on Broadway, it’s not that hard to impress a little girl” I said, rinsing out my ends.

“Well…Richie said that you’re really good, like you sound like a princess” he said and I felt my cheeks heat. “Ok…don’t ask me to sing for you” I said shyly and he chuckled. “Promise I won’t, but I’d love to hear you sing sometime” he said and I finished rinsing my hair. “Come around the bookstore sometime you’ll probably catch me” I said, squeezing some shampoo in to his hair and massaging it in.

He sighs contently, his eyes fluttering shut in bliss. “You’re really good at that” he mumbled and I smiled. “Thanks…you have really nice hair” I said, gently scratching his scalp and he moaned softly. “Mmm..can’t remember the last time I had my hair washed” he said softly and I got down near his neck, massaging the tight curls gently. “I’m glad you’re letting me take care of you” I said softly, his forehead gently resting against my tattoo.

“Mm..only you though” he said quietly, causing a smile to grace my features. I finished massaging in the shampoo and put some conditioner on my own hair, “close your eyes so I can…” I giggle and he scrunches his eyebrows. “Not only have your pussy and I met face to face, we did mouth to mouth. That pussy and I are well acquainted, and you can’t wash up in front of me?” He teased and I blushed. “You are such a perv, Berzatto” I turned around, washing away the remnants of the last few hours gently since I was still so sensitive.

When I turned back around he was smiling bashfully, “whattt” I whined, crossing my arms. “You have freckles on your butt. I didn’t notice before” he said and I giggle “I have freckles like…everywhere” I held out my speckled arms and he takes one, kissing from my wrist to the crook of my elbow.

“It’s adorable.” He said and I scoop some shampoo with my forefinger before it dripped in his eyes. “Wash your hair, mister the waters getting cold” I rinse my conditioner out before stepping out and drying off, leaving a second pink towel for him on the hook and I heard a familiar scratching at the door.

“Sephy! A minute honey” I said and gasp. “Oh my god! Her bedtime snack!! Poor baby” I open the door in a hurry and I hear him chuckle from the bathroom as I put on my slippers and rush into the kitchen to pour her one of her soup treats. “So sorry Angel my poor baby” I coo, petting her as she eats and I headed back to the bedroom to see Carm out of the shower, his curls extra pronounced from the water and the towel draped around his waist.

I bit my lip, looking at the water dripping down his chest over his abs, to his V line, feeling my aching core throbbing with excitement. I could not go another round tonight- I was already gonna be sore in the morning. “Hey- uhh do you know where I threw my backpack?” He asked, snapping me back to reality.

“Backpack…backpack! Uh yeah. One sec” I went back out to the entryway, grabbing it from the hook and bringing it back for him. He unzips it, taking out a clean pair of boxers and I gasp. “Carmen Berzatto! You little whore” I teased and he chuckled “what? How do you mean?” He asked taking out deodorant and my jaw drops further.

“Ohh my god!! You brought a hoe bag!! You are such a little slut” I shook my head with a teasing smirk. “What the hell is a hoe bag?” He asked and I went over to my dresser, dropping my towel and going through my underwear drawer. “Oh you know, just your spend the night bag for hoetivities.” I said and he chuckled.

“Hoetivities? Like a hookup bag? Well..yeah I mean we were both planning on hooking up right?” He asked and I giggled. “Yeah but still you have it all put together? What an organized little slut” I teased and pulled out some cheeky panties slipping them on and when I turned around he was watching me in his boxers and I raised my eyebrows.

“Glad I'm not the only one that’s shamelessly eye fucking. Help me strip the bed will ya' peepin' tom? I’m gonna order the pizza” I said and he smirked, shaking his head as he pulled the sheets off. “Yes ma’am of course” he said and I went over to my closet, pulling out a oversized vintage Levi’s tshirt and slipping it over my head, before grabbing my phone changing my playlist to my getting ready for bed one which contained most of my heavy metal selection and hum softly to the lyrics.

“What the fuck” he mutters before laughing and I look at him, his laughter being contagious and I end up laughing as well. “What?” I giggled. “Fuckin…so let me just- you listen to Taylor swift, rap, and heavy metal?” He asks and I giggle shrugging “mmhmm…we’ll only girl rappers, and heavy metal bands that have girls but yup. I do!” I said and took the sheets and our dirty clothes, bringing them to my washroom.

“You surprise me all the time” he said and sat down on the mattress. I come back after I’d start it and gasp pleased “holy rollerrr! I love this one!” I said dropping off the fresh sheets on the bed and he chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever…listened to this kinda music” he said and my eyebrows raise.

“Are you kidding?! I didn’t expect you to be a metal head…but…what do you listen to?” I asked and he shrugged, “I..don’t” he chuckled and my eyebrows furrowed. “How do you mean?” I asked “I don’t have time for that really…” he said plainly and I scoffed. “So when you’re working out?” I asked and he shrugged again “quiet. It’s nice to just not think” he said and I started putting my pillows in the pillow cases.

“Maybe you are a psycho” I said, causing him to chuckle. “You say that like a revelation, I told you that” he joked and I shook my head with a smile. “Chris got me into metal” I said and he nodded, getting up to help me stretch the fitted sheet over the bed. “Why’d he like it?” He asked and I tucked a corner under the mattress.

“He was deaf…the uh bass…he liked it” I clear my throat and he hums. “Oh…did you know sign and everything?” He asked “oh..yeah of course that was…my whole first 22 years” I swallowed thickly, tucking the other corner on my side in. “That’s really cool..” he said and I nod. “I would um…when we went to concerts, I would interpret for him and he always was…so happy he loved concerts. I miss going with him, so so much” I sighed, throwing my comforter over the bed and he smiled a bit.

“That’s really sweet of you, Winnie” he said and I smiled. “Thank you” I said softly, sitting down on the now made bed. He sits down next to me, “Y’know Mikey..we used t’call ‘em Monkey, he uh…we cooked together. That was always our common ground, and it’s where we really clicked the best. So I get that… Y’know- missing em” he said and I pulled him into a hug, my lips resting on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me, soothingly rubbing my back.

“Thank you” I said softly into his skin. “F’what honey?” He asked, gently playing with the wet ends of my hair gently. “Not running off after we were done and talking with me” I said quietly and he sighed softly, pulling me into his lap to hold me fully and he kissed my cheek sweetly. “Why would I leave you, Win?” He asked softly and pushed my hair over my shoulders before kissing my jaw tenderly.

“Cause you got what you wanted” my eyes fluttered shut and he stopped. “Is that how I made you feel?” He asked, a trace of betrayal in his voice. “No, no Carm” I looked up at him, “guys usually…just dip” I sigh softly. “So I’m glad…thank you for being open enough to stay” I said and he nodded a bit, leaning in and kissing me once more.

“You still want that pizza?”

→ 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝐸𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝐻𝑒𝓇𝑒

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