#hate being this way

[crabussy]

god I forgot how much staring at a screen for all my waking hours fucks me up and makes me miserable

#my eyes hurt so bad and my brain can barely form words #and I'm terrified to face my teacher tomorrow after she. did what she did two weeks ago #I'm safe please don't worry but #oh boy #there's a reason I have PRE BOOKED THERAPY for tomorrow after school #that's how fucking scared I am #and #the workload #is literally impossible to manage or complete as a disabled autistic person #not a hyperbole I have tried I have put every bit of energy I possibly have #including energy for. getting ready for bed or talking to my loved ones or masking or just going on a WALK #into homework. and it's still an impossible amount of work that I am Never able to complete by the deadline #hate being this way #hate teacherfs who traumatise me for being this way #has happened my whole fucking life and I STILL feel like a little kid every time #vent tw #listen to my gibberish boy #vent #this sucks. sorry you had to read this

[metanarrates]

it's actually really weird to me that a lot of adults don't seem to remember the worst bits of being a child. were you not horribly aware of when adults were talking down to you as a child? don't you remember how little autonomy you were allowed, even when it came to things that seemed pretty harmless? don't you remember the times when adults would seemingly be assholes to you for no reason? even if you had nice and reasonable parents, didn't you ever have teachers or other adults in power who treated you disrespectfully? didn't it sting no matter how people justified it?

especially when I was a teenager, it seemed obvious to me & to most of my peers when an adult wasn't treating us with respect. you could almost smell it, in certain classrooms. there would be this palpable, shifting undercurrent of teenage dissatisfaction whenever some teachers started talking. and it made a lot of the kids act out! which of course made the teachers try to exert their power, which never worked because nobody respected them, which made them get more draconian, etc.

as a teen, I didn't really get why my peers and I seemingly had a superhuman sense for when an adult was on a power trip. but now I think I get it. kids are systematically denied autonomy, respect, and consistently have the validity of their experiences denied. like, flat-out. they're a vulnerable class of people made even more vulnerable by their lack of societal rights. being disrespected as a kid is so frequent that I would say it's a defining experience for most children. is it any wonder they tend to pick up on when an adult doesn't see them as worth listening to?

so yeah, of course a ton of kids want to be treated "like an adult." to them, that's synonymous with being treated like a human being worth listening to. it's up to you, as an adult, to understand that wish for what it is, and behave accordingly. you don't gotta be a child psychologist. you don't gotta be perfect at it. all you have to do is remember how painful adult disrespect could be when you were a kid & do your best to act with some compassion.

#tbh. as a kid i was mystified by how adults seemed to forget how much they probably hated being treated certain ways at that age #now that im an adult im fairly certain that a lot of them do remember and just wanna punch down!

[ikiprian]

Mr. Fenton is a competent teacher. Almost too competent.

If Mr. Daniel Fenton had any more than a BS (with a minor in education), Tim would’ve flagged his profile as a potential Rogue. That’s the way of most charismatic academics, at least in Gotham. (Got a PhD? Instant watchlist.) Instead, he’s Gotham Academy’s newest celebrity, as a young, passionate, out-of-towner substitute while the chemistry teacher’s on maternity leave.

Tim gets the hype. Fenton seems to genuinely love teaching, and is invested in the welfare of the student body. He hands out bananas during exam week, hosts a “study habits seminar” each month to coach effective learning strategies, and the third time Tim falls asleep in his class, he even pulls Tim aside to ask if he’s doing okay. With all the late work he accepts and the protein bars he sneaks Tim, he’s every teen vigilante’s dream teacher. He could’ve been Tim’s favorite.

In fact, Mr. Fenton was Tim’s favorite. Up until Tim walks into Mr. Fenton’s chemistry classroom for a forgotten textbook, an hour after the final bell.

On the board where tallied scores for today’s review game had been kept, “THE CHEMISTRY BEHIND DR. CRANE’S FEAR GAS: ANXIOGENICS, NERI’S, & YOU,” is now scrawled. A detailed diagram of the human endocrine system projects in front of a small crowd of adoring and attentive students.

Fenton is wrist-deep in the skull cavity of an anatomical model. A short tug, and out pops the brain.

It’s plastic. It’s fake.

Tim identifies the nearest emergency exit.

Fenton turns to the door, and in the dark classroom with the projector illuminating half his face, his eyes almost seem to flash red. “What’s up, Tim?” he asks. His friendly grin is too big for his face. “I didn’t know you wanted to join the Just Science League!”

[OR: Danny’s a science teacher at Tim’s school. Gotham’s a pretty wild place, even for someone who grew up a superhero in a ghost-infested town, so he takes it upon himself to start a club teaching kids how to manage themselves in the event of a crisis. These Gothamites are pretty hardy, but a little extra training never hurt anybody! And he suspects one of his students might be a teen vigilante, like he’d been, back in the day. As a senior super, it's Danny’s duty look out for him! Surely, this is the subtlest and most appropriate way to give the kid pointers.]

[Tim immediately assumes supervillain.]

#Danny can’t help being creepy it’s just the way he’s built!! #I like to think Lancer did these things for Danny when he was in HS #and now Danny's emulating Lancer :) #Passing it on! #Tim is paranoid but also like he is SO CLOSE to graduating so like. Does he even want to report this shit to Batman. What if the next chem #teacher's a jerk and Tim fails the class and he never gets his stupid diploma. Bruce already is insisting he finish out HS and maybe get #an ABA before he's allowed back into the company #and Jesus Christ does Tim hate school. He'll worry about Mr. Fenton's burgeoning army of Science Honor Society Rogues on his own time #dcxdp #dpxdc #prompt #tim drake #danny fenton #in case I write more of this let’s tag it uhhhhh #misunderstood mentor au #kipwrite

[i-just-like-commenting]

Text: decoupling pregnancy from femininity means accurate and more inclusive language and treatment, but it also allows cis women to refuse motherhood without refusing womanhood, which is great for feminism and terrifying for misogyny.

--THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS. As a sterile cis woman who doesn’t want to have children anyway I feel this is every ounce of my being. “Define woman” types tend to do so in a way that excludes me too, so I got to stand with my trans sisters.

#trans rights #inclusive language #pregnancy capability =/= woman #i know as a 38-year old I mess up on trans stuff and i am okay with being told when i do #but know that it's a mess up not me hating you i am way past that

[crackers4jenn]

spn is such a funny show, it'll be like:

Naomi tells Cas he has to choose "us, or them" and 'them' is meant to imply Sam and Dean both, but then

she makes Cas kill fake copies of Dean only

Or Metatron will speechify about how Cas is "in love... with humanity"

and then give Cas another lil speech about how it was all "to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of Heaven, but ultimately it was about saving one human, right?"

Ishim shows up and tries to tell Cas how weak he is for befriending Sam and Dean

and then when he wants to "cure" Cas of his human weakness, that weakness is just Dean

AND THEN you'll have things like

Sam will say that Cas is family, that he'd die for him

but he also refers to Cas as an "it" just hanging around in a vessel strong enough to take on Lucifer (in season 11!! It's not like he said that in s4 or something, it was like 8 years after knowing the guy)

Or in "Regarding Dean," Dean will say to Sam "and our best friend's an angel!"

and then when he's by himself in the mirror, he'll say "and Cast--Cas is my best friend."

#just thinking about the various ways the show frames cas's relationship as being a sam-and-dean kinda thing #and then will later emphasize how actually it's dean in particular that motivates cas #supernatural #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #otp: profound bond #(this isn't sam hate btw it's more just #i don't know #it's so interesting how the show first goes the 'we' route meaning sam-dean-cas and then almost always #separately takes dean and cas aside and reiterates the theme of 'we' differently without sam #😩😩)

[appalachianapologies]

There are many new friends on the archive, and many are young and have only known social media, which is why I wanted to say something!

Ao3 does not have an algorithm! It isn't a social media site, it's an archive.

Posting fics on Tumblr isn't the same as posting fics on Ao3

Ao3 is like a giant virtual bookshelf, and everyone is able to add their own stories to the bookshelf, all stored with different tags and different fandoms. Works are automatically sorted by newest to oldest, but filters, looking at bookmarks, and using the search function can change that.

Certain works are not pushed to the top like social media posts. More kudos and reads don't push a single work to more viewers by some algorithm. Unless otherwise filtered, works will be at the top of the page based on how recent it was posted.

Smaller fandoms get less views, less kudos, less bookmarks, and larger fandoms get more simply because of the number of people inside the fandom.

Ao3 is a giant virtual bookshelf- there is no algorithm, and there is no man behind the shelf pushing certain books forward.

Happy reading, and if you'd like to have more people notice a fic, why not share it with them! Send a dm to a fandom friend and it might turn into one of their favorite fics!

#ao3 #archive of our own #organization for transformative works #i have admittedly only been a member of the committee for a couple of years BUT ive been a member on ao3 since i was much younger #and it took me a hot second to understand how ao3 works; so i wanted to write a lil post about it after seeing this comment #no shade or blame to the person who wrote this by the way! #after being on social media so much it's a completely understandable mistake and i totally get it #and in fandoms populated by younger ppl typically it's even more understandable! #so absolutely no hate no shade no passive aggressiveness #but i do think it is important to learn how the archive works #so if you'd like to share this it would be greatly appreciated! <3 #okay have a good day sorry this post/tags became so long haha

[messrsbyler]

you. yes you, person with rejection sensitive dysphoria. this message is for you. your friends DON'T hate you. they aren't mad at you. they aren't talking behind your back or wished to cut their friendship with you. they love you and treasure you and they are good people who wouldn't hurt you like that! ok, that's all. have a nice day.

#this is for everyone with RSD... except for me #my friends do hate me and do think i'm a burden in their lives and they do wish they had a way to let me know they don't wanna be friends #anymore but they feel pity so they never do #... this is a joke that turned too real and too dark too soon #it'll get better #anyhow this message will self destruct in- #i'm all over the place my brain is being mean to me i'll go to bed ugh #nic posts #and drowns in self pity for NO REASON #i'm going to kick my brain's butt #ok ok bye #rejection sensitive dysphoria #rsd is a bitch #rsd things

[potassiumprincess]

i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes

#ml #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #okay i lied i do have justifications #adrien probably just. would love being taken care of if he's sick #it's maybe something his mom used to do but not ENOUGH #and marinette would absolutely spoil him #but marinette is all I AM FINE IT IS JUST A COLD I AM FINE meanwhile she nearly falls off a rooftop in a dizzy spell #but adrien hate being kept away from ppl he loves. hates not being able to protect them. and an injury is more long-term and isolating #meanwhile...idk marinette feels to me like an injurt would leave her more defeated. she'd feel like she failed somehow #like she is SUPPOSED to be ladybug she is SUPPOSED to keep herself together to keep the city safe #so i think that would take a lot of her energy she'd be frustrated about it yes but also sort of...admit defeat #adrien would find ways to cheer her up though 🥺

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[deadliestpieceontheboard]

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

#might delete later #just felt frustrated about how even ourselves interact with hate #i'm all in for helping explain things #but people are way too comfortable qith being ignorant and we let them #ace discourse #aroace #asexuality #ace positivity #aro positivity #aromantism #aromantic

[biruesque]

dead end.

#revolutionary girl utena #mikage souji #mamiya chida #rgu #biruesque art #drawing this was an entire experience idk how 2 say it #i was like yeah i'll draw mikage and mamiya for spooky season #and then i discovered i really really really really hate mikage but in a funny way #like in a obsessed with making him suffer kind of way #and uh. well. this piece happened so um uh #enjoy what came out of being deranged about mikage for two whole days lol

[reineydraws]

kyojuro corruption arc

#kny #kny fanart #mugen train #akaza #kny akaza #rengoku kyojuro #renkaza #akaren #demon slayer #demon slayer fanart #comic #kny comic #incorrect kny #nah obviously kyo would never get tired of being nice #what he DOES get tired of is expectations though!!!!! #he doesnt even realize he's tired!!!! it's just that one day it hits him that he only ever feels comfortable to be TRULY himself #around the demon that almost killed him. why? bc he lets himself be mean and ugly to akaza--why should a demon deserve his courtesy? #doesnt even realize he's baring his vulnerabilities with all the hateful emotions he directs toward akaza #and the way akaza actually reciprocates with baring his own vulnerabilities too #until one day he realizes he's *waiting* for akaza and that he'd *miss* akaza if he didnt show. #so where does that leave him but in love with a demon? 😔 ohh temptation

[rolybug]

funny purple dog you get endless health issues

#character wise i see it as being kind of quietly pissed off most of the time from all the bullshit fuckery it has to deal with #hates being a messenger and just wants to go home to its creator for head pats and pain medication #dont look too hard at that ''skull'' it doesnt make much sense #rain world #rw spearmaster #art #2024 #not super satisfied with the way i drew it here i might iterate (lol) on it some more if i draw it again

[clouvu]

Save me french yuri... Save me

#genshin impact #arledrone #sandrone #arlecchino #haha remember when we all thought that sandrone and arlecchino would both show up in fontaine and be gay together? #good times.... good times #jk i'm ready to end it all actually #I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE ONE LAST MAJOR FRENCH PATCH BEFORE NATLAN BUT IVE JUST ABOUT LOST ALL HOPE #the way that literally every wlw arle pairing got fed so well following arle's drip marketing EXCEPT for arledrn... hate it here so bad #anyways shipping aside HOW is it possible that the frenchiest of french harbingers with heavy ties to machinery #and like two major world quests tied to specifically to her lore and is even MENTIONED of being present in fontaine #also being one of the first harbingers ever mentioned dating back all the way to the description of chode's teaser trailer #just???? doesnt show up?????? #Sandy enjoyers are stronger than any us marine because my GOD are we struggling out here #anyways ignore the fact that I completely forgot to draw sandy's wind up key it was hard drawing through the tears #(actually it was cause i half-assed this doodle but we dont talk about that)

[shorlinesorrows]

Give me a Percy Jackson who hates swim team. Who went to a public pool for swim lessons once when he was five and started to sob the second his skin hit the water

give me a Percy Jackson who is always just the slightest bit unsettled at pools because water is never meant to have the life sucked out of it and be divided into lanes or put in boxes in the ground

Water isn’t meant to be contained.

a percy jackson whose skin feels like it’s slowly beginning to burn when he tries to swim in chlorinated water, who hates any set swim stroke with a passion and can’t stick to one for the life of him

who doesn’t understand why you’d want to keep only to the surface of the water, when being cradled under the surface is everything

because swimming is supposed to be like the tides, maybe patterned, but never identical, it’s supposed to be flowing with the world around you as you please

Give me a Percy Jackson who loves the sheer nature of water so much that he can’t help but quietly despise our “pools” and their dead water with their constricted sides and restrictions on what it means to change with the world around you

A Percy Jackson who is the child of water in its most natural state, and who can hardly bear to see the way society has attempted to contain it and sterilize it and strip away its power

He hates swim team, but that’s only the half of it

#projecting just a little lol #But also I’ve always been surprised that so many people seem to think Percy would like swim team? #Maybe it was mentioned offhand in the books or something #But Percy always struck me as a person who would hate being stuck swimming laps for no reason #Like he loves swimming but he hates being forced to swim a certain way #This kid gets one whiff of chlorine and “rules” for swimming and he is OUT #Rambling mood #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #pjo headcanon #rick riordan #pjo hoo toa #pjo fandom #pjo #headcanon

[egophiliac]

CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(these will be relevant in a moment) #this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF. #anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story #and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING #crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED #crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED #(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes) #DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want #but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn. #revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it #and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially #it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it #(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE) #and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color... #unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing. #lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER #crowley's secret is safe for another day #(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way) #(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things) #man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time #wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...