they smell each other, obvi
day 5 of boshptober, “Cauldron”! @basiatlu
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Malfoy: Oh please! You wouldn't hurt a fly.
Harry: You're right! Because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody.
Harry: You, however, I would maim.
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Harry Potter & Voldemort
Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Lavender Brown
Additional Tags: Crack, Dark Comedy, Therapy, Harry Potter is Not the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter is So Done, Adult Harry Potter
Summary:
Harry Potter is a perfectly ordinary mind-healer, he wants nothing to do with any Dark Lords. Voldemort didn't get the memo and he wouldn't have read it if he had.
In which Voldemort goes to therapy to become a better Dark Lord, not a better person.
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5/5 😭❤️
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based off this:
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Sirius Black would wear a shirt that says "best dogfather ever" at Harry's birthday because him and James thinks it's hilarious and would laugh their ass off.
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*The Marauders in the great hall for dinner*
James: ...
Sirius: ...
Remus looking between the two: ...
Peter: uh soooo how bout that quidd-
Remus: PETER SHH
Sirius slamming his fork down: you mean the quidditch match where prongs KISSED my BROTHER after SLYTHERIN won?!?!
Remus: ...
Peter: ...
James: ...
James mumbling: it's not that deep-
Sirius standing up: not that deep?!?! NOT THAT DEEP?!?! Hold my motherfucking earrings moony
James: -insert loud girly scream-
meanwhile at the slytherin table
Barty and Evan: -laughing uncontrollably-
Regulus hiding his face: ...I hate them both
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oh harry du bois, we're really in it now...
SORRY I FORGOT HIS BODY HAIR !!! JUST REMEMBERED !!!! an angel without wings...
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I straight up forgot about this…sillies…
-
No reference todaaaay.
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*after a Quidditch game*
James: We won!! Wasn't I fabulous darling??
Regulus: You were okay, can't criticise much
Remus: Wrong answer
Regulus: Huh?
James *sobbing his little heart out*: YOU DONT THINK IM FABULOUS????
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Remus: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Sirius whispering: why are there little handprints all over the walls
Harry whispering: because I have small hands
Sirius: Becuase he has small hands
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Meeting each other for the first time in St. Mungo’s, years after the bloody war.
“Fucking hell.” Harry tries, and then fails, not to stare at Malfoy’s ass as he heads out of the ward. The robe is just so flattering. “What is Malfoy doing in med school?”
“I can’t do this with you again,” Ron says. “I won’t. I refuse, on moral grounds.” - No Harm by @tessacrowley
Read here.
Starting the year with an art inspired by a fic I feel not so normal about. It’s on its second chapter, and it has me on a perpetual chokehold since the first. The pacing, setting, and their voices completely took my breath away. It started strong, and only gets stronger, like the world just pulls you in and you can’t help but to immerse yourself in it. Tessa has done it again. My heart.
xo, kismet
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Marylily with baby Harry
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Remus: What’s for dinner?
Sirius: I can’t tell you. It’s a soup-rise.
Remus: Is it soup?
Sirius: I soup-ose it could be!
Remus: Stop that.
Sirius: Stoup what?
Remus: Saying soup puns.
Sirius: No.
Sirius: Soup.
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Sirius: *convinces Remus to read over his transfiguration essay for him*
Remus: *hands it back an hour later*
Sirius:
Remus:
Sirius: Moons this just says 'what the fuck' in red ink at the bottom.
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Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend
Hepburn and Monroe? No, Parkinson and Malfoy.
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