#happy to have some no-conflict no-chaos time to finish projects

[hillbillyoracle]

Only got 4 hours of sleep and figured I’d get some work done while my partner’s asleep so I have October’s Astrology and Tarotscope all done and scheduled on Patreon. Woo! 

#pretty sure she's having psychosis again #it's very draining #fingers crossed it resolves soon #happy to have some no-conflict no-chaos time to finish projects

[writeturnlove]

Good Evening fanfic friends,

I'm sorry this update took so long, but I wanted to post it as soon as I finished writing it. This chapter contains some intense sexual scenes, so I'm asking that readers be at least 18 years old to read it. I'm going to put a brief excerpt below, however the rest can be read by following the link above.

The Mate Chapter 5

By V.C. Turner (@writeturnlove)

WARNINGS: Do NOT read if you are under 18; SMUT, SEX, DP, MFM SEX, THREESOME, UNPROTECTED SEX, BLOOD PLAY/KINK, BITING, BRIEF MINOR BONDAGE.

To say that I’m nervous would be an understatement. I’m terrified. In less than 24 hours, I will be bonded to two men and ascend to a leadership role over a group of people I didn’t know existed a few months ago. We’re just minutes away from another pack meeting; this one called by the Elders, who plan to introduce us as The Alpha Triad. The Fates decided that I am the one true mate of the Alpha and Beta wolves of the North Pointe Pack. Once the Elders verify the mating, no one dares question their judgment.

I’m standing between my mates – Steve on my left and Bucky on my right. I’m shaking. Steve notices and places a reassuring hand on the center of my lower back. Bucky slips his hand into mine and squeezes. Today is the first time I’ve seen them since their mothers took me away from the Alpha house before we could break a fundamental rule: No sex before the Bonding Ceremony.

The ritual is set to take place tomorrow night beneath the full moon and in front of the entire pack.

But tonight, we must stand before them and assert our positions.

My breath is coming out in short bursts. Steve turns to me, lifts my chin, and places a chaste kiss to my lips. He whispers in my ear.

“It will be fine, Sweetheart,” he says.

My body instantly settles, and I can think clearly again. Steve calms me when I need it. I love that about him. I stop shaking and focus on Sasha Barnes as she calls the meeting to order.

“North Pointe brothers and sisters, it is a proud day for our pack. As predicted by Elder Evelyn and I, we have confirmed The Alpha Triad,” she announces.

A hush falls over the large room. Several tense moments pass before measured chaos begins. I can’t tell what they are saying because I’m too far away. What I can hear are the sounds of shock coming from the crowd, and I brace myself for what comes next.

From our place backstage, we see Evelyn Rogers step forward. She holds her hand up and the room immediately quiets, yielding to her authority.

“Family, as the prophecy had dictated, our Luna has been chosen. Tomorrow night she will be bonded to the Alpha and Beta of our pack. I now ask The Alpha Triad to step forward to stand before the pack, for tomorrow the three of you shall be joined for life.”

Steve leads the three of us onto the center of the stage and the sound of whispers starts up again. The moment hangs over my head like a heavy cloud, threatening to soak me with the weight of this new responsibility.

Bucky squeezes my hand again, then leans down to me.

“Stand tall and look each one of them in the eye. They need to see strength to respect you and your position,” he advises.

I straighten my posture and gaze into the crowd. There are expressions of shock, caution, and a few looks of disgust. Fuck them. I’m Luna. They will just have to deal with it.

“As you know,” Sasha begins, “While this is a happy occasion because our pack leaders have found true love, it is also a time of concern. The prophecy regarding the Alpha Triad states that there will be an upcoming war with a vampire clan. The conflict between our species has raged for millennia, however we’ve enjoyed several decades of peace due to a treaty signed by our ancestors. Unfortunately, this peace is about to end. Since we do not know when our enemies will attack, we must begin preparations immediately. My son James, as Beta, will help organize the tactical preparations, while Alpha Steve Rogers will divide the pack into specific groups who will ensure that each pack member and their families have the resources to deal with this threat. Now, I will turn the meeting over to our Alpha.”

The room falls silent as Steve steps forward, bringing Bucky and I with him.

“North Pointe Family, I know that much of what you heard comes as a shock. My primary concern is to ensure the safety of this pack, so we will begin organizing and training starting next week. I will delegate some of my usual duties to other pack leaders as I will be sequestered for the next two weeks as part of the bonding ritual. Speaking of my personal life: The fact that my new mate is also the mate of my Beta came as a shock to me, too. While a part of me knew, deep down, that she was the one for both of us, it was only just confirmed. This joining, this Alpha Triad is unfamiliar territory for all of us, however this is how things were meant to be. Y/N is a part of this family, and she will always be our Luna,” Steve declares.

My breathing picks up as all eyes focus on me. I don’t want to talk tonight. I have way too much on my mind to form a cohesive thought. Judging from the looks on their faces, I worry anything I say will make me an even bigger target than I already am.

PLEASE READ THE REST ON ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN....

Tagging the following accounts:

@diehardlover-blog; @parker-barnes-aff

@angryschnauzer  @feelmyroarrrr

@storibambino ; @crushed-pink-petals

@loveupeople  ; @winterwolf57

@harrisbn @titty-teetee @jetaimeamore-blog @nys30 @yeskekeh1996 @crimsonash330

@therealhousewivesofidris @yknott81

@loricameback @loricamebackyetagain

@black-hippie416

@pinknerdpanda

@geminimoonbeamx

@helenasmirkedno

@love-mesome-me

@ivorylei

@xjkpop

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes fanfiction

[aworldforastage]

A very subjective recap of my audiodrama journey in 2023 "Year of the Rabbit"

This is entirely based on personal preferences and not at all an objective assessment of quality

If applicable, cast members are listed with the gong first.

"Web Drama/网配" here refers to the free, not-for-profit productions

All AD's are on Mao'er FM (Missevan) unless indicated otherwise.

Favorite Completed Dramas

The Golden Terrance/黄金台 -- (Web Drama/网配)

Jia Xu/贾诩 x Yacejun/雅策君

Three not-for-profit productions of The Golden Terrance launched in 2020, but this is the first and only one to be completed! I'm just so grateful and amazed that so many talented people contributed to make this happen -- all for free! It's not perfect, but it's comparable if not better than for-profit productions at least 90% of the time, and I think it really did this beloved novel justice. Go listen to it!

Famous/In Name Only/有名

Wei Chao/魏超 x Chen Jiaheng/陈家恒

I did not know I needed to hear Lan Wangji's audiodrama VA speak in a southern/canto-style accent, but it has been life-changing.

"Famous" comes with all the bells and whistles you could possibly hope for in a professional, for-profit production. It has eight original songs, tons of little skits and bonus content, wonderful performance and polished post-production. The team brought their own vision to the adaption, leveraging the of creative potential in the audio medium while staying true to the text. If we have to nitpick, I'd say Liang Yu sounds a bit old for a man on the cusp of 30, but Wei Chao's magnetic voice is more than enough to make up for it.

After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine/残疾战神嫁我为妾后

Shi Zekun/史泽鲲 x Liu Sicen/刘思岑

This is the guilty pleasure personal favorite I have been playing on repeat in the background -- a comforting little sugar pie AD. Objectively speaking, this production has noticeable flaws, from built-in plot holes from the source material to uneven performance and mixing of some minor characters' dialogue. However, I really like the sweet, lighthearted story and the lead voice actors' performance, and we got the entire thing in one season!

“Next season please start tomorrow!"

The Sword Named No Way Out/剑名不奈何

Zhao Yi/赵毅 x Chen Zhang Taikang/陈张太康

I'm very conflicted about this one! This is the first time I really understood the charm of Zhao Yi's voice, but I don't like his character (gong/love interest) or the romantic arc. I am intrigued by the twists in the plot, but we still don't know who is the main conflict halfway into the story, because the novel is just written this way. I'm absolutely charmed by the supporting characters, but I suspect their roles will be reduced in the next season to make way for the the main romance. I really can't get into this novel for some reason, so I'm waiting on the AD to satisfy my curiosity.

"Top flower vase of the mainland entertainment industry"/内娱第一花瓶 -- (Web Drama/网配)

Liu Sicen/刘思岑 x Shang Tong/商桐

This free drama has released 3 stunning seasons since 2021. The screenplay and post-production is a little rough in places, but that's nothing to compared to quality and scale of the output -- the first few episodes of the AD convinced me to commit to reading this 900K words long novel! With free Web Dramas, you can't really guarantee or expect anything. It updated fairly consistently since 2021 but lead CV Liu Sicen currently has an insanely busy lineup of paid projects and likely no time for this. I'm very grateful for the seasons we have had, but I still dream of this AD releasing one more season to at least finish the main story -- and end on a happy note after the reconciliation!!!

Onmyōji/阴阳师 -- (on Manbo & others)

Yuan Mingzhe/袁铭喆 & Zhao Chengchen/赵成晨 [No CP]

Ironically, I think this is the series with the smallest chance of getting a second season, despite its star-studded cast, excellent production, and iconic source material. It sounds great, and I love the main voice actors playing something different from their normal dynamic. However, the series struggle to attract a wide audience as a general/non-BL drama. I'm taking comfort in the fact that the source material is a collection of short stories, so it doesn't feel too incomplete at the end of Season 1.

"well, that ... happened"

A lot of the ADs released in 2023 are said to feel like the work off a "production line"/流水线. It does well enough to maybe satisfy the fans of the source material and fans of the voice actors, but there's not much that's special about it to draw you in if you are not already interested, and is far from realizing the full potential of the story and the AD medium. There were a few shows that I had been very emotionally invested in, but ultimately they were a bit underwhelming.

The Demon Venerable’s Wistful Desire/魔尊他念念不忘

Yuan Mingzhe/袁铭喆 x Ma Zhengyang/马正阳

Probably the most well-received drama out of the three here. The source material -- a comedic xianxia transmigration story -- helped it stand out in field a dominated by modern urban dramas. I didn't find the story to be particularly compelling or innovative as a fantasy/xianxia story, but the voice actors gave solid performances.

Flower Vase/花瓶 -- (on Manbo)

Peng Yao/彭尧 x Liu Sicen/刘思岑

Does anyone still remember this show from last year? Flower Vase is an iconic novel in the scum gong/substitute/crematorium sub-genre, and because it's short and relatively old, there are already two complete free Web Dramas (and more incomplete ones). This work is good, but not enough to make most people willing to listen to this story again or really stand out over the free versions. I liked this one mostly because I was (and still am) in a phase about Liu Sicen's voice.

Morbid Attachment/诟病

Wen Sen/文森 x Yuan Mingzhe/袁铭喆

I'm a fan of Zhe-ge and Wen-laoshi to downright unreasonable degrees and even I have nothing to say about this drama except "it finished." Seriously, you have these two on your cast, in an extremely popular story that features a pop star, and we have like two and a half songs, no duet, and not a single song from YMZ. I still put it on when I want to hear their voices, but it definitely didn't deliver on the potential of one of the most popular stories on Changpei.

"not bad but I had higher hopes "

All of these are based of very popular novels that I read and liked but didn't love, and I ended up feeling the same way about the ADs. It's a coincidence that Taikang has leading roles in all of them.

TGCF/Heaven Official's Blessing/天官赐福 Season 1

Chen Zhang Taikang/陈张太康 x Su Shangqing/苏尚卿

Since the AD is based off the new revised version of TGCF that me (and most people) haven't read, it's hard to tell if the show has completely misinterpreted parts of the novel or if it's just new content. I can't truly dissociated TGCF from the unpleasantness of all the fandom drama, which dampens my enthusiasm for it quite a bit. However, I'm happy enough with both the production and the performance in the 2023 release that I listened to it a few times. But at an emotional level, I'm just not as excited as I expect myself to be for a project of this level of fame and quality.

Swallow the Sea/Tunhai/吞海 Season 2

Zheng Xi/郑希 x Chen Zhang Taikang/陈张太康

It took me a while to realize why I was struggling with Swallow the Sea. It's hard to follow mystery/procedural stories if you are only getting 40 minutes of content once every week -- you would have forgotten everything by the time the new episode airs! I never realized before because I got into AD's late enough that a lot of iconic shows (like Modu and Poyun) have been completed and available for binging. Now I think I'll wait until this one finishes all its seasons.

Thrice Married to Salted Fish/三嫁咸鱼 Season 1

Ma Zhengyang/马正阳 x Chen Zhang Taikang/陈张太康

I felt a bit underwhelmed by the novel when I finished it, and I wouldn't have cared for the AD at all if it weren't a collaboration between Ma-laoshi and Taikang. Ironically, I really love the ending theme, which the audience hated so much the studio had to put out a new mix. Maybe this story is just for people with very different tastes?

Everybody's talking about you

I haven't listened to these yet, but I heard so many good things about these three in the past year.

Qiang Jin Jiu/The Ballad of Sword and Wine/将进酒

Yuan Mingzhe/袁铭喆 x Jiang Guangtao/姜广涛

Does this need an explanation? After its surprise return just before Chinese New Year, the newest (free) episode racked up more plays in a few weeks than entire seasons of some ADs. This is what a real superstar looks like!

But personally, I plan to wait until the series finishes first. I waited for almost two years for Season 4 -- I can wait a bit longer for an indulgent binging experiences.

The Selfish Gene/秉性下等

Shun Zi/顺子 x Sun Lulu/孙路路

This drama has the closest thing I have seen to "universal acclaim" in the AD fandom in 2023. It's one of the few 2023 dramas to break through 10 million play count, beating out many productions with bigger IPs and more popular voice actors.

I definitely want to listen to it, but now I want to wait until I'm in the right mood to really enjoy it.

Stealing The Wind But Not The Moon/偷风不偷月 -- ("Voiced drama"/Audiobook, on Ximalaya)

Sang Yuze/桑毓泽 x Yang Chaoran/杨超然

2023 saw a lot of activity in the 有声剧 area. I think of them like audiobooks because they keep most of the narration, but they are still called "dramas" and the actors still put a lot into their character performances.

This production has been received very well, especially compared to the audiodrama that is currently airing on Mao'er. I held back on the AD because of this, even though I have been very excited about a Liu Sicen x Shun Zi collaboration. However, I'm not sure I want to get into a new platform for this, even though it definitely put Ximalaya on my radar.

I'm waiting to see how it goes ....

Some series are off to a strong start, but there's still a long way to the end ...

I Became a God in a Horror Game/我在惊悚游戏里封神 (Season 2/?)

Shun Zi/顺子 x Dao Mei Si Le/倒霉死勒

Season 1 have play counts that can rival TGCF, and Season 2 seems to be starting off strong after arriving at the end of 2023. The hype alone has gotten my interest, but then I realized it would take probably 10 seasons to finish this novel, so I think I'll wait a bit first ...

The Reincarnated Minister/再世权臣 (Season 1/ ?)

six people x Dao Mei Si Le/倒霉死勒 [NP]

I heard the plot of this novel is actually quite good, and I am really impressed with the quality of the free episodes. However, this novel is looooong, and I'm not sure I will enjoy the NP outcome in the end. But if they can keep up the good work for a few more seasons (lol years?), maybe I could be tempted into getting into this.

A Clear and Muddy Loss of Love/泾渭无间 (Season 1/?)

Hao Tian/浩天 x Xu Xia 徐佳琦

Unlike the other two, I followed Season 1 of this one as it released.

GL deserves more love, but I'm not very optimistic about this drama carrying through to a satisfying conclusion in a timely manner. A novel of this length would normally take 4-5 seasons on Mao'er, but its stats are not encouraging. In the final of episode of Season 1, they did that ridiculous montage that rushed through so many things, probably trying to save on costs. I understand GL has a smaller fanbase than BL, but it's still disheartening to see one of its biggest IPs being handled liked this ...

A Special nod to a few web dramas

The amazing labors of love we get to enjoy for free.

"Spoil"/作践 (Web Drama/网配, completed)

Zhao Chengchen/赵成晨 x Gu Chen/顾辰

(2021-2022, 12 episodes + 1 extra). I only listened to the first four episodes, which prompted me to read the novel, but then I found it a bit too dark for me to want to revisit AD. That being said, I am very impressed with the episodes I heard, especially the screenplay. I didn't feel lost at all even before I read the novel. It set up some complex scenes and conflicts very clearly, better than many for-profit dramas imo.

The Golden Terrance/黄金台 (Web Drama/网配, in progress)

Xu Xu Dian Deng/续续点灯 x HolyNight

(2020-- ?, 7 episodes so far) This drama didn't update in all of 2023. I lost hope when then other version finished, but then they suddenly came back with a long new episode early in 2024! I think this adaption is a bit more abridged than the one that already finished, but fingers crossed that they finish this!

"Dao Zhan Shan He"/ 刀斩山河 (Web Drama/网配, incomplete)

Shang Tong/商桐 x HolyNight [switch CP/verse]

(2020-2022, 6 eps) The production officially ended, which is a real shame because it was pretty good for the parts it covered. I listened to this because I really liked the novel, and it actually encouraged me start exploring the other Web Series that has been abandoned/incomplete, because the good work of the staff and actors deserve to be appreciated even if they didn't have the resources to finish the story.

The most disappointing ....

Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life/忧郁先生想过平静生活

Wen Sen/文森 x Sun Lulu/孙路路

I'm disappointed with this drama, but I sort of understand why it came out this way. The novel plays heavily off dramatic irony to carry its humor and suspense, and that is hard to express in audio -- at least, I don't think there is a well-established formula for it. However, I still think it could have done much better to cover the scenes and action in a straightforward manner.

The Return of Cambrian Period/寒武再临

Guo Haoran/郭浩然 x Ma Zhengyang/马正阳

I can understand why "Mr Melancholy" is hard to adapt, but I really, really don't understand why this straight-forward, plot-driven action adventure has turned out so poorly. The episodes are too short and fragmented to engage listeners. A lot of the dialogue could have been edited during adaptation to make it more natural and smooth. Many scenes use music and sound effects that are very cheesy and dated, which almost sounds like an inside joke about the age of the novel that no one wants that at the expense of quality. It's just a long list of little problems that seem incomprehensible for a production that had the budget to hire an all A-list cast.

"Tan Lian"/贪恋

Wen Sen/文森 x Yuan Mingzhe/袁铭喆

My favorite voice actors tackling an original screenplay! I was so excited, but ....

the story is just not good, to the point I'm wondering how did everyone get through making this AD, because it makes so sense as a narrative! If it's a comedy, maybe everyone can at least get some laugh out of it, but it has be a angsty scum gong story. "Confusing and miserable" just don't make an appealing combo.

Final Thoughts

When I first got into danmei in 2022, I mostly listened to the "backlog" of famous productions, and I was really blown away by the quality and variety. 2023 was the first year of me "following" the current releases, and it was a little disheartening tbh. The industry seems to be a at a turning point, experimenting with new people, genres and formats, with varying results. Maybe it will work out better in 2024.

#danmei faves #danmei audiodrama #audio fandom hours

[frenchschoolofaustin]

Why Ecole Jean-Jacques Rousseau ?

Our family owns French School of Austin, aka Ecole Jean-Jacques Rousseau, a French private bilingual program located in North Austin; a dual-language immersion program based on the French Ministry of Education curriculum, and supplemented by the essentials advanced elements of an American private-school education.

The school enrolls (potty trained) children of three years old or turning three by December 31st of the academic year. By the end of seventh grade, this dual approach produces academically-adept, bilingual students, proficient in both English and French, and even in a third language; Spanish or Arabic.

While lots of information can be found on the school website, here is more information about the school that cannot be found on the website.

The school is the retirement project of my parents. They both have been in education for over 40 years, teaching and directing. To better understand the school and its setting; here are few highlights:

Small teaching environment: My mother was not flexible about this specific point. Classes must be kept small, with a maximum capacity of 12 children. While mothers are often right, this has to do with her years of experience in different environments, knowing perfectly after a certain number of students, few things fall into the cracks.

(1) More one-to-one attention: Let’s face it; teachers are overworked in today’s educational system; they deal with chaos in large classrooms, and they take work home after long hours of work. The specific characteristic at French School of Austin is that all curriculum and planning to the single detail, are provided to the teachers. With a large portion of their preparation guided and completed, and with smaller class sizes, teachers are more relaxed, and happy to teach. They can get to know each student as an individual, working with them to enhance their strengths and improve their weaknesses. Happy teachers, happy students  

(2) Students get to know each other better.  Instead of your student just being another face in a huge crowd, they’ll be more likely to develop deep and lasting relationships with the other students around them. Some of our students are best friends, and continued their friendships beyond the school, once they graduated.

(3) Teachers can tailor instruction more individually.  It’s well known that large classrooms have students not reaching their potential, daydreaming, while they wait for everyone to finish learning a concept they figured it out ten minutes in the lesson or worse, the previous year, while other students are left to fend for themselves, left behind. No matter the need of the child, in a small class, the teacher is more likely to be able to tailor the instruction so that it stays on each students’ level. With fewer students, teachers can ensure that students are kept challenged or working at their own pace.

(4) There’s less disruption.  Disruptions and large classrooms go hand in hand. Even the simple act of allowing students to work together on an assignment can lead to chaos, assuming that the classroom doesn’t come with a troublemaker or two, making at times, personality conflicts worse. Behavior management and discipline takes up more of the class period than actual instruction.  In a small classroom, discipline is needed far less often.

(5) There’s more time for instruction.  The more the number of students in a classroom grows, the more time has to be used up each day on administrative tasks; simple tasks such as attendance tasks, passing out papers, checking on the work of each student, not to mention the large stack of paper to grade. This all contributes to less likely for teachers to give individual feedback and attention to the students.

(6) The classroom and the students are quieter.   Last but lot the least, the reduction of the noise in smaller classrooms. Even when everyone in the classroom is extremely well-behaved, too many students in a large classroom are going to be noisy.  There’s a constant rustling of papers, sniffling noses, students shifting in their seats etc…These small distractions can be the difference between a lesson that’s understood completely and one that is not understood at all.  Emerging research suggests that noise can have varied effects on student’s learning and his/her memory. In fact, it does not take very much noise to really be detrimental to the listeners. As most of the school materiel is auditory, oral learning, noise and sound can lessen the learning process, and even create more issues for students with anxiety and attention; in fact they are exhausted by the end of the day. Smaller classrooms are just quieter.

Music & Performing Arts: Using music and performing arts as an aid in language immersion and memorization is just plain smart. The best academic programs are the ones calling for a strong emphasis on the arts and foreign languages. Well, since immersion is all we are about, we’ve added the arts; music (string program), performing arts (theater), dance and visual arts. It is not a secret that involvement in the arts is associated with gains in math, reading, cognitive ability, critical thinking, and verbal skills. Arts learning can also improve motivation, concentration, confidence, and teamwork. As a result, we have students learning, excelling academically, and having fun developing their artistic talents, with an emphasis on environmental awareness. It does not get better than that!

http://www.frenchschoolofaustin.org/the-program/the-arts/.

French & Singapore Math:

(1) Our teaching of Mathematics is one of the point of pride for our program. Following the French System, our primary Years students are early exposed to a wide range of mathematical concepts: geometry, addition, subtraction and multiplication, algebra, fractions, the decimal system, etc. Each year these mathematical concepts are expanded and students’ comprehension deepens. Logic and expression are always prioritized. Calculating the correct answer is not sufficient; a student must explain how the answer was obtained, and why. Logic and the ability to articulate one’s reasoning are emphasized in every grade and field. Multiple-choice and true/false questions are virtually nonexistent. In all subjects, students are required to develop answers in thoughtfully organized essay form. A Math proficiency test has shown that our students to be up to two years in advance than some of their peers. The students learn study methods which they will use through high school and later in university.

(2) To the French teaching of Mathematics, we’ve added the teaching of Singapore Mathematics. The hallmark of the Singapore math method is its division into concrete, pictorial, and abstract phases of learning for each topic. When studying subtraction, for example, a child might start by taking some small objects away from a pile and then proceed to performing subtraction with the aid of an abacus. In the pictorial phase, a child might start by sketching dots or tally marks to represent physical objects. Later the child might draw bar diagram models to depict subtraction as taking part from a whole. During the abstract phase, the child learns subtraction by performing calculations on numerals written in columns. The bar modeling technique taught during Singapore math is powerful and allows children in fifth grade to solve problems similar to those in high school algebra classes.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 21, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Reunions

All together in The Unclean Realm, The Yunmeng trio find a spot inside where they can sit down and have a proper Yanli-Wuxian reunion, while Jiang Cheng sits across the table watching them. 

For years Jiang Cheng has been rejecting Wei Wuxian's free and easy affection; now Yanli might be the only person Wei Wuxian offers to hug until Wen Yuan comes into his life.

Jiang Cheng is really going through it. He'll do nearly anything for Yanli--except, uh, stay in the goddamn inn with her when she's sick and the Wens are hunting them--and what makes her happiest is Wei Wuxian. He's brought them together, and so he's happy, even though he's excluded from their dynamic. This absolutely fucking kills me.

Here Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian are sweetly pledging to always keep the trio together and put each other first. Neither of them will keep this promise. 

Wei Wuxian will leave first, to take the Wens to the Burial Mounds. Jiang Yanli will leave second, staying in Lanling at Jin Zixuan's request instead of accompanying Jiang Cheng to retrieve Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng will be the last to let go.

(more after the cut)

Nie Huaisang comes literally running in, filled with joy at Wei Wuxian's return. When he goes to pat his shoulder Wei Wuxian flinches away.

I feel like something important is happening in this rapid sequence of glances and expressions between Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang. NHS is startled, and WWX realizes he's shown something about himself that he didn't want to show. He glances at Jiang Cheng and back at NHS before laughing and covering his slip with a squeeze of NHS’s hand.

NHS switches from shocked to cheerful just as quickly, helping with the coverup. It’s like they have a quick mutual agreement, rooted in their history of shared shenanigans, to not point out that something is wrong.

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji is wandering around the grounds, having feelings. At this point it's presumably been at least a couple of weeks since their breakup fight. 

He sees Wei Wuxian sitting contemplating his flute, and as he sees him he goes from sort of neutrally apprehensive to full on angry judging, complete with sword clenching. 

Part of this may be that his feelings are hurt over their fight, but the larger issue is his distress over Wei Wuxian's apparent heretical cultivation.  That, at any rate, is what's on his mind when he's selecting music, later in the episode, and when he's selecting flashbacks. 

Party Time

Later, the Nies host an excruciating party to celebrate Wei Wuxian's slaughter of Wen Chao return. Jiang Yanli is sharing a table with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng is sharing a table with his crippling social anxiety. 

Everyone starts grilling Wei Wuxian about his sword, because that's suddenly all anybody cares about even though Jiang Yanli, Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, and probably plenty of other people don't carry swords most of the time.

Wei Wuxian says "after the Wens caught me, Wen Zhuliu crushed my core, so I can't use my sword any more, too bad so sad, can we change the subject?" And everyone is very understanding and admires his resiliency. HA HA HA HA HA. Of course he doesn't opt for that simple lie, but instead mopes audibly without saying anything.

Nie Huasiang tries to change the subject by asking how he killed Wen Chao. Apparently "I had a sexy ghost mostly flay him" isn't good party chat, though, so neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Cheng opts to tell the story. 

Everyone lapses into awkward silence, all the more noticeable because there are no dancers, musicians, or entertainers of any kind at this event. OP has gone to audit-kickoff meetings that were more fun than cultivator banquets.

Moment of Clarity

While the awkwardness builds, we hear the sounds of the Song of Clarity. Lan Wangji is skipping the party, which is part of why Wei Wuxian is so mopey. But instead of sitting and stewing in his anger, Lan Wangji has shifted gears, and is starting to work on his "save Wei Wuxian's soul" plan.

This isn't the God-botherer version of soul saving, however. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian disagree about correct practice, but they both are still practitioners within the same spiritual system, and the majority of their beliefs are closely aligned.

Lan Wangji has powerful magic at his disposal, and now he's taking a step back from his plan of forcing persuading Wei Wuxian to give up heterodoxy, and instead he's preparing to use his magic to offset the consequences of Wei Wuxian's choice.

He still isn't ready to accept that choice, but he's working on it. This is a big moment for Lan Wangji's relationship with Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji is a deeply, deeply uncompromising person, as well as being super bossy, and he’s taking his first steps toward supporting Wei Wuxian’s free agency. 

Wei Wuxian leaves the party in the middle of Yao's toast, saying "I have to see you and your lover all over my tumblr dashboard but I am NOT going to listen to you talk!" He takes his wine to go roam around near Lan Wangji's quarters to pine and feel conflicted.  Lan Wangji has thoughtfully set up a projection scrim to catch his shadow and make the pining easier.

Jiang Cheng comes looking for Wei Wuxian, partly to reprimand him for rudeness and partly to see what the hell is wrong with him. Jiang Cheng is trying very hard to be pleasant. He's bad at it, but he's trying.

Wei Wuxian is trying to be unpleasant and he's pretty good at it. He won't say why he isn't using his sword. He’s obviously super fucking depressed about it, calling his former self childish for liking to spar, and only smiling once during the whole exchange.

He finally tells Jiang Cheng that he will always want to do the opposite of what Jiang Cheng tells him.  Jiang Cheng lets this go with an eyeroll.

(Point Break Quote Alert)

But actually this is a sign of trouble, right here in River City, with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for abandoning the Jiang Clan. Wei Wuxian has just told Jiang Cheng he has no intention of obeying him; not just about the sword, but in general. That's no way for a disciple to talk. 

OP has nothing to say about this gif. OP watches gif over and over and over and over

Wei Wuxian ends the conversation by tapping Jiang Cheng's chest with his flute and then walking away. The (still nameless) flute has no problem with this - does it, like Subian, recognize Jiang Cheng as an extension of Wei Wuxian?

The next day, Wei Wuxian is chilling in his room, looking ungodly sexy in his bold slashed robe, holy frack. I mean, he is sex-on-toast at all times, but the cut of his post-burial-mounds combo is particularly heart-stopping when he decides to stick a knee or two out. 

He's meditating and flashing back to being in the burial mounds, where he was also meditating. I admire his ability to fractally meditate about meditating. 

Chenqing

He didn't put a sock on the doorknob, so Jiang Yanli comes in and startles him. He brandishes his flute at her before calming down. The flute definitely does not see her as an extension of Wei Wuxian, because when she touches it, it smokes and then knocks her out of the frame so fast it's comical.

Did they put her in a jerk vest for that shot?

Wei Wuxian hides the flute from her, freaked out by its behavior. She, however, is unfazed, and gives him the first & only affirmation he's gotten about his new cultivation path, and says the flute is "like Mother's Zidian."  She kind of walks him through the whole "first class spiritual tool" concept, beaming with approval and telling him he must name the flute.  

Jiang Yanli is hardcore Jiang Clan, seriously. Freedom and impossibility. You survived 3 months of mystery trauma and now you're all fucked up? We'll roll with it. You have a demon flute now? Rock on. You're going to use necromancy to beat the other clans in a group hunt? Gold star for you.

He names the flute Chenqing, which @hunxi-guilai​ translates and explains in depth over here.

Bichen

Lan Wangji has finished practicing the Song of Clarity, and regardless of whether it's had an effect on Wei Wuxian, he himself seems much calmer. 

As Wei Wuxian contemplates Chenqing, Lan Wangji contemplates Bichen and remembers Wei Wuxian's assertions about resentful energy way back in Gusu summer school. 

This time when he grips his sword, it's loosely, as if he's made some progress with his anger.

Soup

Jiang Yanli sits Wei Wuxian down for some soup, and talks to him about what's going on with him, saying he's changed. He insists he's fine and works very hard to be convincing.

She's not convinced but says she won't press him, and then abruptly shifts tone and works very hard to act like everything is fine. She leaves, taking a lot of soup with her, and Wei Wuxian remarks that it's unfair she is giving so much to Jiang Cheng. But of course, some of it is secretly for Jin Zixuan.

Everything isn't fine, as Wei Wuxian scream-meditates with resentful energy just rolling off of him. He's got some of the dark energy stored in the Yin sword in his bag of holding, but I get the impression that a lot of it is just stored in his body.

Club Ruohan

At some point in the episode we stop in to check on Wen Ruohan. He and his wind machine are mad that Wen Chao is dead. 

Meanwhile, his interpretive dances with the Yin iron now turn his puppets into...Klingons? Sure, why not. 

Literal Stand-Up Meeting 

Jiang Cheng needs Wei Wuxian at games night a meeting and comes running to Jiang Yanli to find him. He is freaking out and she tells him to chill. 

No matter what fuckery is going on in the world, Jiang Yanli is going to find herself a nice little outdoor table and she is going to sit her ass down and have some tea and civilized lady activity. Queen.

This shot of the meeting is composed so nicely. The blocking (placement of actors) in this scene encapsulates the familial dynamics, and I’ll talk about that as soon as I finish admiring Jiang Cheng’s proportions. 

Here we have four clans represented by four family pairs around the game war table. The Jin cousins, despite their differing personalities, are side by side, matchy-matchy, in lockstep. Jin Zixuan lets Jin Zixun do the talking for him, so maintains his own rep as a reasonable guy.  

The Nie brothers are even closer together, also in matching greys, Nie Huaisang giving all of his attention to his brother/clan leader. You can see his careful watching of his brother's temper...not fearful for himself, but fearful for Mingjue.

The Lan brothers have a growing distance between them; they are in different colors (which is pretty usual for them), and Lan Wangji is standing well away from his brother and the rest of the group. Partly this is his personality, but it's also symbolic of his growing distance from his brother and other proper cultivators. He's carrying WWX-related secrets, and he's wrestling with what he's learned.  

While Nie Huaisang is looking at Mingjue, Lan Xichen is turning around to see what's up with his own volatile sibling.

Lastly you have Jiang Cheng, alone in the room, with his shidi nowhere to be found, and seriously feeling the heat because of his isolation. 

He's alone in his purple, but the color value (lightness/darkness) of his robes exactly matches Xichen's. 

And Xichen, bless him, makes a point of speaking to him respectfully as a fellow clan leader, gives him a path out of the "where is your brother" conversation, and is just generally his kind and helpful self with Jiang Cheng.

Next: Awkwardness Increases!

#the untamed #the untamed gifs #wangxian #the untamed meta #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #restless rewatch the untamed #my gifs #canary3d-original

[sweetleaf-cafe]

hello ! could i request a ada x child!reader (maybe around 12-15)? i was thinking headcanons or a scenario of them suddenly showing up at the agency and (previously knowing atsushi from the orphanage) just laying and going to sleep on his desk - straight after telling him their parents kicked them out again (maybe for her being lgbt if that’s okay and ur comfortable with that — it’s okay if not !) this is more of a self projection art request so could you please make it so they’re not as phased and are a little stoic about everything? it makes me feel really weird when the reader is all shy and stuff.

Thank you for your request! We’re happy to fulfil it for you to the best of our abilities.  Though we weren’t particularly sure how to write this, we hope that you enjoy it nonetheless! 

Atsushi and Kyouka made their way to the agency, they made good time, though they did not rush, as they had just solved and finished taking care of a case. While it was not particularly difficult nor time consuming, Atsushi was glad to be finished with it.

Their walk was interlaced with small bits of chatter, but remained quiet and peaceful for much of the time. Both him and Kyouka instead admiring the cherry blossoms that always came with the spring.

Winding their way through the familiar streets, the two entered a brick building that was quite weathered, but remained sturdy. Finally, they arrived on the fourth floor, it was the same as ever. People shuffled around, filing paperwork, typing out reports, or heading over to a case. While the atmosphere felt busy, there was also a sense of comfort that fell over Atsushi like a blanket as he walked in.

With that, Atsushi paused, "Hmm... Where is Dazai?" He pondered, now having noticed the sheer lack of chaos.

"Dazai and Kunikida went out for a case." Ranpo responded, and Atsushi let out a sigh of relief. Though also pondered just how many new bruises Dazai would have upon returning.

Moving on from that, Atsushi made his way back to his desk, finishing up some paperwork that was related to the case. However, not much time had passed before his was interrupted.

Dr. Yosano tapped on his shoulder, alerting him to the familiar face that was staring at him from across the room, making their way to his desk.

"Friend of yours?" She asked, and Atsushi nodded dumbly for a moment, rather in shock.

"(Y/n)!" Atsushi called out, quietly though, as to not bother his co-workers.

"Hey." They respond.

"It's great to see you, (Y/n)!" Atsushi beams.

"Yeah, great to see you too." They reply with a tiny hint of a smile.

Atsushi smiles, seeing that his friend is the same as ever. "Anyways, what brings you here?" He asks.

"My parents kicked me out for being LGBTQ." They said plainly, right before sitting down at his desk, letting their head hit the table.

Atsushi blinks a few times in surprise, just standing there for several seconds, "Are you okay?" He asks hesitantly, only to notice their breathing even out as they fall asleep.

Kyouka walks over, "Who are they?" She asks.

"(Y/n), a friend from when I was in the orphanage." Atsushi keeps his voice down, as to not disturb them as he reminisces. "Actually, they're around your age, Kyouka."

"I see." Kyouka responds, still staring at them.

"Still, we probably shouldn't disturb them right now, I think they're asleep." Atsushi mentions.

Before anything else could occur, the door was thrown open. "GREETINGS HUMANS!!!" Dazai shouts from across the agency, right before his mouth is clamped shut by Dr. Yosano.

"They're resting right now, so keep it down." Yosano warned.

After a moment, they heard a groan. "How is anyone supposed to sleep in this racket?" A slightly groggy voice asks.

"(Y/n)! You're awake!" Atsushi exclaims.

"Obviously." They retort, proceeding to stare at Dazai's feet.

After a moment, Atsushi understood, seeing the fluffy bunny slippers he was wearing.

"Dazai?" He asked, confused, and somehow not surprised. Behind Dazai, he could see Kunikida facepalm. With that, Dazai turns around, putting a pair of bunny ears on Kunikida, who tore them off.

"Quit it, Dazai!" He shouts.

"Why though~ They make you look so much more approachable, nobody wants to talk to someone as stern as you." Dazai whines.

(Y/n) watches them, looking only mildly interesting as Kunikida proceeds to choke out Dazai.

"Maybe you should introduce yourself?" Atsushi offers awkwardly.

"Sure, hey guys!" (Y/n) calls to get their attention. "I'm (Y/n) (L/n), friend of Atsushi's."

Kenji looks at them in wonder, "Nice to meet you, I'm Kenji! So why are you here?" He asks.

"Parents kicked me out." They shrug.

"And why would they do that?" Kunikida asks.

"They don't like that they're LGBTQ." Ranpo answers. (Y/n) Looks towards him, slightly surprised.

"Of course, as the greatest detective of the world, Ranpo, I would figure that much out."

"Mhmm." (Y/n) raised their eyebrows, but decided to not comment.

Dr. Yosano grimaces, clearly not pleased that someone would do that to their own child. "Well, you're welcome to stick around here. I'm Yosano, I'm a doctor here." Yosano says.

"That isn't such a good idea, as we're constantly in conflict, it wouldn't be safe for them to stay here longer than necessary." Kunikida objected.

"Come on! It wouldn't be so bad to have them around for a little while." Dazai intervened, already thinking of pranks to play.

"As much as I hate to say, Kunikida's right." Tannizaki replies, "By the way, I'm Tannizaki, this is my little sister, Naomi." Tannizaki says as he gestures to the girl hanging off his arm.

"You're welcome to come visit the café downstairs though, we come by there often." Kyouka interjects.

"What's your name?" (Y/n) asks.

"Kyouka Izumi." She replies simply.

"W-Wait!" Atsushi interjects. "I don't think they have a place to stay, seeing as their parents kicked them out and all."

"Is that true?" Kunikida asked.

"Yup, don't really know where I'm going." (Y/n) replied.

"We certainly can't leave a kid on the streets like this either." Dr. Yosano added.

"They can stay with us!" Atsushi replies quickly, "I mean, if Kyouka is okay with it." He finishes, looking at her.

"Yeah, she can stay with us." Kyouka agrees, appearing to be unbothered by it.

"Thanks for the help." (Y/n) smiles, glad to know where they're going to be spending the night.

"Alright then, but tomorrow, we'll properly address your situation." Kunikida assures, issuing a word of thanks from them. "Anyways, we all have work to do, (Y/n) until the work day is over, feel free to stay here." Kunikida finishes before attending to the papers at his desk.

"Hey (Y/n)!" Naomi calls them over, waving an arm.

"Yeah?" (Y/n) asks walking over.

"I'll show you where you can hang out for now." Naomi says, pulling them along into something akin to a waiting room.

"This is going to be one heck of a ride, isn't it?" (Y/n) asks, not really looking for an answer.

"Sure is!" Naomi responds cheerfully, causing (Y/n) to sigh a bit.

"Well, we'll see how this goes."

#dazai osamu #dazai #kunikida #x reader #atsushi #atsushi nakajima #kunikida doppo #dr. yosano #akiko yosano #yosano #kenji #kenji miyazawa #kyouka #kyouka izumi #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #ada x reader #dazai x reader #kunikida x reader #atsushi x reader #yosano x reader #ranpo #ranpo edogawa #ranpo x reader #tannizaki #tannizaki x reader #naomi #naomi x reader #naomi tannizaki

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

Ngl, the Nadia anons and fic have me in a Nadia mood. Can we get a fic where MC and Vivienne aren't dating, but Nadia thought they were and finds out they aren't, so she tries winning over MC, and MC is both wary and slightly charmed, despite the entire Poppy being exasperated, and finally agrees to a date? It could be a follow on from the other fic or it's own thing. (If you receive this ask twice please ignore the 2nd one, tumblr gave a bad request message for the first so idk if you got it)

Pairing with: “Can we have a Nadia stalking mc instead of Vivienne? Getting intrigued by the mc and then wanting her to join her instead“

...

Written by @an-awkward-ghost

“I’m a bit confused.”

The voice is firm, perhaps even a bit harsh, and it has Nadia instantly on edge. Were it not for the small, almost imperceptible hint of playfulness, the blond thief would have already brandished her knife. Instead, she just freezes there, wide eyed, letting the voice wash over her and awaken a torrent of feelings she had buried deep within her. Emotions only brought problems, only made her pick all the wrong options. She couldn’t trust something as fickle as that. She knew that. Well. At least she thought she knew that.

Yet here she is, eagerly spinning around after a moment’s hesitation, seeking the owner of that sweet, sweet, harsh voice.

It had only been a month, but Karina seemed to have changed drastically. Gone was the insecure little girl she had been, wrapped in Vivienne’s shadow. Now she stood strong and unflinching just a few meters away, shoulders thrown back in attempt to look taller, brown eyes calculating Nadia’s every movement like a predator. One wrong move, and it was over.

Nadia didn’t want to underestimate a woman like Karina ever again.

“You said you weren’t after Vivienne anymore… but here you are anyway.” Her eyes flickered up and down, her expression softening with a small, unconcerned smile. It didn’t look cocky, nor did it look happy. It was teasing, meant to irritate Nadia to her very core, but she found she couldn’t quite look at it without feeling butterflies rise. It was unfair. Nadia pursed her lips and looked away, and Karina continued. “What am I supposed to think?”

She felt like she had been put under a microscope, left there to be picked apart by the artist.

“It… was a coincidence?” She finally said, voice surprisingly steady despite the turmoil of emotions she was experiencing.

Karina hummed. “Yeah, I don’t really believe in coincidences and that only leaves me with plenty of creepy alternatives. You might want to explain yourself.”

“I didn’t know you would come here next.” Nadia forced herself to meet her gaze, half-wishing she could just burn the butterflies in her stomach so she could actually concentrate, half-berating herself for not realizing where her true affections laid sooner. “I had planned to stay away from you – that’s why I decided to come here in the first place.”

“Sure. Awfully close to our next target, too. How convenient.”

Frustration could not begin to convey what Nadia was feeling right now. Hot-headed indignation, barely held at bay by the cold, murky feeling of rejection. Her hands closed into fists, then opened, then closed again in quick motions, as if she were trying to grasp her conflicting feelings and bury them even deeper.

“I didn’t even know you had a target here.” She spat at last, scowling. “Look, I won’t get in between your relationship with Vivienne anymore. I won’t even stay here, if it bothers you so much. I could probably pick the next flight to–”

“My relationship?”

“Yes, your– why are you looking at me like that?” It takes a few seconds. Nadia has never had so many conflicting feelings in her entire life. There’s the bubbly, blissful hope that lifts her spirits and spreads over her whole body like a blanket of pure joy, warm and fuzzy, but there’s also the sinking, bitter sensation of a misunderstanding. Of not reading the room correctly, despite that being Nadia’s forte. “You aren’t dating Vivienne.”

Karina’s smile seems a little less detached, bordering on genuine. “It’s true I had some interest in her at the beginning, but I quickly realized a relationship wasn’t the best choice. Hey, maybe we should start a club or something! God knows there’s enough people interested in Vivienne to get plenty of members.”

“Then… but she didn’t– you were jealous!”

“Yeah, I can’t deny that.” A sheepish shrug. “But in my defense, who wouldn’t be?”

Nadia takes a deep breath. “You were jealous.” She repeats, more to herself than to Karina. She’s trying to make this whole situation make sense. “Of Vivienne…? Because I was giving attention to her.”

A light blush that might be Nadia’s imagination appears on Karina’s face. “I think we might be getting off topic here. You, uh, you said you were going to leave?”

“I was, but there’s no way I’m doing that after this revelation.” After a month of aimlessly swimming through the situation, Nadia finally thinks she might have found her footing. She smirks. “You are interested in me.”

Karina looks her up and down again, wary. “Was. You know, before I found out you are an obsessive asshole.”

“Believe me, I’ve learnt my lesson. I’ll respect your boundaries.” She takes a few steps closer. Karina seems rooted in place, body angling towards the end of the alleyway they are in, but making no move to leave. “But I can’t let this chance slip me by.”

“Chance? So because you couldn’t get Vivienne, now you are after me?”

“Ah…” Nadia hesitates, all confidence wavering. The other woman narrows her eyes. “No. No, I…” The words were right there. Somehow, they wouldn’t come out.

“You…?

“It’s just. I didn’t– I…” She lets out a small grunt of frustration. “I wasn’t interested in her. I thought I was. Turns out she wasn’t the one that interested me at all.”

“But then… why did you…” A beat, and Karina’s eyes widen. “You were projecting your feelings onto her.”

“Yes. And now that it’s come out into the open that you are also interested-”

“Was. I was interested. Past tense. Nadia, I’m saying no. Can you respect that, please?”

Nadia pursed her lips, feeling her good mood dissipate. This was what had ruined her chances in the past, her near violent approach. She backed the subject of her interest to a corner where they would have no other choice but to pick her, because the alternative was even worse.

That’s not something she wanted for Karina. Whatever this affection was, it felt far more fragile and precious than any of her other obsessions.  Far more real. Worth treasuring. Nadia wasn’t sure she could even call this feeling ‘an obsession’.

She couldn’t force something like this. She didn’t want to.

“I understand.” She said. “And you have every right to say no, but I want you to give me a chance to prove that I’ve changed.” That had been mostly thanks to the sheer number of sleepless nights she had had, just thinking about everything. Her ideology and how it clashed with the Poppy’s, mainly. That was why she had scrapped the video her crew was working on, why she had put on hold the heists they had planned.

She knew she still had a long way to go, but she was willing and raging to go. A change was long overdue.

“Just one chance. I won’t let it go to waste.”

…

“It was creepy enough when it was Vivienne, but I didn’t expect to endure this type of thing again.” Zoe holds up a gift for everyone to see with a small grimace. Jett takes one look at it and whistles in appreciation.

“Those are some quality paints, alright. You’re going to have a field day with those, Kar.”

“Who said I was going to use them?”

“So I can throw them out or-”

“What? No! Zoe, don’t!”

Vivienne smirks from where she is curled up on the couch, amusement crinkling in her eyes. “Now this is a development, thought I can’t say it was unexpected.” The mirth dies down soon enough. To anyone else she’d look composed, detached, but the members of the Poppy know her well enough to detect the hint of worry clouding her expression. “How do you feel about this, Karina? Would you like us to handle it?”

“I can think of a few ways that might be effective.” Leon adds, from the other side of the room, a frown firmly in place.

“She just can’t give up, can she?” Remy huffs. “First Vivienne, now Karina… When do you think you’ll have your turn, Zoe?”

Zoe gives him a dry look. “Never. Not if I can help it. But seriously Kar, what do we do? If I have to see another gift from that woman, I swear-”

“No, no, it’s okay.”

The living room is always alive with noise when the Poppy gathers in it, sharing laughs, the atmosphere light and welcoming. All of that skids to an abrupt stop as soon as Karina has finished talking. Silence reigns so perfectly it becomes deafening, all eyes on her, searching, prodding, as if they were trying to find out when Karina had been replaced by some kind of impostor.

The artist laughs. “Seriously. Just give me at least a week with her. I want to see something.”

“Something?” Nikolai repeats, one of his eyebrows so far up into his hairline Karina is almost expecting it to fall off. “Not that I don’t trust your judgement, but you must remember who we are talking about. One week is plenty of time for her to kill you.”

“One week.” Karina says again, resolute. “That is all I ask.”

The rest of the Poppy sputters in a chaos of half-shouted reasons why this won’t work, and half-muttered inquiries regarding Karina’s sanity. She takes it all in stride, mostly because they aren’t telling her anything new, something she hadn’t considered before making the decision. Curiosity kills the cat, some say, and Karina is definitely curious to see how much Nadia has allegedly changed.

…

“I’m definitely surprised this time.”

Nadia gives her a curious look, her smirk firmly in place. The confidence she exudes is something that had interested Karina from the moment she had first seen the blonde woman, an unhinged storm worth admiring from a distance.

She had certainly mellowed out. There was still a dangerous undertone to her every action, but it was more controlled. Karina wasn’t naive, she knew Nadia could still kill people if she wanted to, probably with no remorse whatsoever, but she had the impression she would at least consider other alternatives before rushing in for the kill. Nadia hadn’t been lying – she had changed.

Or she was a really good actress, but Karina was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

“I didn’t think you’d have such a drastic change in just one month.”

Blue eyes shimmer with delight. Nadia practically preens.

“I’m full of surprises. You’d better get used to that.”

“Good! That just means I won’t get bored anytime soon.”

“I’ll ensure you don’t.”

The chill of the night makes for an excellent excuse to get closer, not that Nadia really needs it. She moves closer to her in one smooth movement, but Karina catches the look the blonde woman sends her way, making sure she’s not overstepping any boundaries. It’s a sweet gesture, something she wouldn’t have expected from Nadia in the past.

They’re on top of the Eiffel Tower. Leon is somewhere near, out of sight, and Karina can just imagine him staring at them from wherever he is with a concerned frown, ready to intervene at any sign of trouble. But nothing of the sort happens. Instead, Karina stands there, transfixed by the anecdotes Nadia is telling her, eyes tracking her every movement with a shocked wonder she hadn’t felt before. There had been a spark with Vivienne, all those months ago, when the Poppy had recruited her, but nothing like the emotion she feels now. There’s a raging fire somewhere in her soul she had ignored until now, emboldened by Nadia’s smile, by her touch, by her mere presence.

And when the date comes to an end, and she stands inches away, blue eyes searching hers for permission?

Karina can only nod, eyes fluttering shut as Nadia slips one finger under her chin, directing her face up, expression softening as she leans in.

She feels like she is on cloud nine.

#Anonymous #answered #contination #lovestruck #lovestruck qot #lovestruck mc #lovestruck nadia #nadia x mc #qot mc #qot nadia #fluff #touching thursday

[illogicalthinking]

Listen

A/n: Ellie and I were discussing this idea in the discord server ages ago and alas this happened. Also big thanks to the Logang for helping me and believing in me.

Word count: 1,169

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, morally grey sides, roman is a tiny bit mean (but he apologises) crying.

——————

It is a surprise to nobody that the logical side loves to learn. Logan could tell you anything you wanted to know; teaching exhilarates him so much. However, nothing pleases him more than his room being in such a disarray. Why? Because the clutter of books, pens, pencils, notepads and other nick nacks shows that Thomas is willingly learning something new!

You see, the state of Logans room depends on Thomas. If Thomas is willingly learning something new whatever he is learning will portray itself in clutter all over Logans floor, bookcase and desk. However, the longer Thomas doesn’t acquire any new knowledge the cleaner Logans room becomes. Much to Logans dismay.

Growing up, Logans room was in a constant state of chaos. Books, pens notecards, projects all took residence in Logans room, Keeping him company. However, once Thomas chose entertainment over chemical engineering his room gradually became tidier and tidier until one day Logans room was immaculate. There was no longer anything taking residence in the logical sides room and for the first time in his life he was truly alone.

————-

The loneliness had never quite left his side after that. No matter where he went loneliness’ nimble fingers wrapped themselves tight around his throat, leaving him with a constant tightness in his chest and a gaping hole in his heart. No longer did Logan feel any positive emotions. Thomas destroyed all emotions Logan may have had felt in his youth when Thomas chose to entertain rather than to save the planet leaving his room permanently immaculate in the process. Afterall what exactly had Thomas learnt from entertaining?

However, Logan could never tell the others how painful it is to be reminded of how Thomas chose Roman over him every time he walks into his room, the evidence is all there; Thomas is clearly happier performing rather than when he was learning. Logan had spent most of his existence ensuring Thomas remains healthy and happy and if that means Logan has to endure emotional conflict every time he rises up to his spot in Thomas’ living room, then so be it, besides who cares about what Logan thinks?  

The sides have made it perfectly clear he is unwanted; they only keep him around when they want to prove a point, he is merely a tool for them to use whenever they please, nothing more. Logan wishes he could miss the way the other sides completely disregard his input or brush aside his concerns regarding Thomas’ career path. He tried bringing up his concerns once before but all that led him to, was a promotion from acquaintance to the new antagonist. Since then, Logan has kept all his crippling insecurities locked up in a metaphorical box and only himself has access to the key, he cannot risk being a disappointment ever again.

The sides don't even know about Logans predicament with his room, they had always assumed Logan was some sort of clean freak but if they personally knew him, they would know that was the opposite of the truth. Logan worked best in mess, not in a constant reminder that Thomas did not care about him.

However, the state of Logans room changed after a particular event.

Thomas had called upon the sides to discuss ideas for future episodes, Logan did not know why Thomas had even called upon him, it's not like any of them will listen to what he has to say, as soon as he opens his mouth to contribute he will be interrupted by one of the others or even Thomas himself but he still rose up anyway, after all Thomas needed him.

---

Logan was starting to become frustrated; this discussion had been happening for hours now and nobody had let him have a say. One more try couldn’t hurt. Logan thought to himself.  

“I have an proposit-”

“Oh, hush bill nye the science tie, creativity is not your area of expertise it is mine, besides all you care about is math anyway” Roman hissed bitterly.

“Pump the breaks princey! let's hear Logan out instead of disregarding him like we usually do”  

Well that was new, Thomas had never defended him before. An unusual warmth blossomed in the logical side's chest, making him feel that buzz of excitement he hadn't experienced since he was young.

“Thank you Thomas. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by Roman, I have a proposition in relation to the next sanders sides episode”  

“What idea do you have in mind Logan?” Thomas spoke softly.

“How about we film an educational vid-”

“An educational video really? Sounds stupid” Roman hissed.

“Roman at least let me state my idea before you make a judgement” Logan exclaimed sharply. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

“My bad. I'm sorry Logan” Roman guiltily said.  

“It is quite alright Roman” Logan spoke softly, he could see the guilt swimming in Romans eyes, and he hated it.  

“My proposition is to film an educational but informative video discussing different techniques on how to set a healthy routine. Thomas you are in desperate need of an efficient routine and I'm sure many of the viewers are in need of one too”

“Logan, I love that idea, I can't wait to begin researching!” Thomas spoke, buzzing with excitement.

“Well it seems we have resolved the problem, I will be going, goodbye Thomas” Logan tried not to let his excitement show but Thomas listened to him! He actually liked one of his ideas, how could he not be excited?!

Logan sunk back into the common room to read the tempest and shovel crofters into his mouth, after all he deserved it, Thomas defended and listened to him, he couldn’t believe this!

Three jars and a finished book later, Logan decided to start working on Thomas’ schedule. Nobody followed Logans schedule, but he could not help hoping that one day they might appreciate the time and effort that is put into them.

Logan marched up the stairs to his bedroom with a spring in his step but froze when he opened his door. The once immaculate room was now a mess, pens, pencils littered the logical sides desk, books and notepads were sprawled all over his bedroom floor and bed, he couldn’t believe it for the first time since Thomas’ career change he was learning something!

Logan broke.

The logical sides knees buckled from under him, causing him to collapse onto his messy floor. Logans bottom lip quivered, and the tears came all at once. Audible sobs squeezed through his tight throat and escaped his lips. He tried to stifle them with his hands so the others could nothear him breaking down. He can't believe it; his room hadn’t been messy since Thomas started YouTube but now it was in utter chaos.

Logan did not know how long he remained sitting on the floor with hot tears streaming down his face, but he did know one thing:

Thomas finally listened

#logan angst #logan sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders angst #roman sanders #thomas sanders

[i-am-just-a-kiddo]

2020 content creator review

i was tagged by @vishcount as usual, thank you  💕  i answered the questions below the cut, and everyone that is tagged is there too, if you just wanna skip my ramblings and go straight down there.  (also gosh i hope all the links work rip)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: 

this lan wangji oneshot, apparently. i can’t remember when i actually wrote it, but my ao3 tells me i posted it in january 2020. i remember i just wanted to explore lwj’s time of mourning and dive into his mind of that time, even if it made me eternally sad?

my most recent 2020 creation that is public, is the second chapter to this casmund/edmund character study fic i started writing in 2016. i did not expect to return to that but rewatching the narnia movies did that to me. i guess it’s one of those ever-returning fandoms

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: 

my niemo (nie huaisang/mo xuanyu) fic, no question. diving into this, i fully knew that this pairing probably has a tiny audience and honestly, i did not expect to churn out 30k for them. god. am still suffering because why the fuck did i do that to myself (and everyone reading). thank you vishie for standing by me all the time.

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: 

my historical taegi AU set in silla korea - i don’t think it’s actually a new style writing-wise, but it was an entirely different process of creating. i did a week of only research, diving into amounts of academic texts and sources to figure out my frame and setting. it was so much fun and in the end, with everything i learned, it felt like the fic was only just the ‘by-product’ of my research. though i must say, writing the story itself was challenging in a very different way, by that i mean that the characters made me furious and yet i had to write it like that cause i like to suffer :) 

as for gifset, am not sure? i can’t think of any so i am just linking the daechwita mv cause it’s iconic. i guess this mv is more joseon inspired, while my setting was silla somewhere between the end of 7th and beginning of 8th century; but it was the final straw to finally make me write that historical taegi au i always wanted to write with hwarang tae. also this mv inspired me to have yoongi as a tyrannical king cause why not amirite?

4. a creation to be proud of: 

my wei wuxian oneshot during burial mounds; i had a lot of fun writing him and projecting all my nightmares onto him. i went in without a plan and ended up with something i am actually quite proud of? it gave me so much space and room to just...pour out my words and not worry too much about anything else. 

5. a creation that took forever: 

my post-canon wangxian adventure or qinghe chaos, as i lovingly call it. i think i started writing it in november 2019? not entirely sure about that, i only know it took ages. i wanted to create a whole new political environment, as it takes place somewhere around 70 years after canon (they wanna be immortal, shut up) and it was fun thinking of new challenges and new obstacles that face the new generation of cultivators. unfortunately i did not have the capacity to write a full blown political conflict. that’s why i never really incorporated all my thoughts into the story itself, but hey, if anyone has questions i have notes (and vishie, once again, is the most blessed person to plot with me, ily)

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: 

am gonna measure this by kudos on ao3 in that case, which would be the aforementioned lwj oneshot Cold Moon, Long Nights Moon. I feel incredibly fond of it and i’m really happy that people liked it. it feels special somehow and i just want to thank everyone who read that and liked it.

7. a creation you think deserved more notes: 

oh i wrote many fics that year for smaller fandoms, which makes me grateful for every single feedback i received. i think i had hoped my previously mentioned historical AU would receive more, but it’s okay because i still loved it. 

another one is this princess sook myung/ah roh fic that i wrote for my ‘make hwarang gay again’ series. i finally finished this show and it furstrated me so much - the gay potential that went to waste, the horrendous writing for female characters. i liked the chemistry between ah roh and the princess, and yes i get it, it’s a rare pair and this fandom is kinda dead, but. the girls deserve their shine and love (though still, i am grateful for every single kudos i receive and i am still proud of it)

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: 

i joined many new fandoms this year for which i wrote, but i want to mention my shang xirui character study for winter begonia, because it was very interesting to explore that? and i had fun too, it was one of the first things i properly wrote after my hiatus, so i felt quite proud. also once again, this fandom has way too little content and the show is underrated. 

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: 

i wanna mention two here. first is this wen ning & song lan oneshot that was a pure joy and also very sad to write. i just love these two so much, and i love them together even more. i have many thoughts how much comfort they could give each other and believe me, i have many more that i want to explore in the future. 

the second one is the mu nihuang & xiao jingyan oneshot i wrote for the nirvana in fire gift exchange 2020. it broke my heart, but at the same time it felt like something was healing too? it hurt at the pain both characters go through, but i also felt fond that maybe, they were not alone.

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: 

hmm there are a few, i mostly want to mention my fei liu character study? it has no plot or anything, it is just an exploration of his mind and thoughts, which was an absolute joy to write and somehow so easy. 

i also quite like the yyy series i started - maybe i can write more for these two because they somehow give me the feels.

11. a favorite creation created by someone else: 

alright here we go folks:

first i want to mention my dearest @vishcount because newsflash!!! i am the biggest fan. of course i need to mention your wondeful, stunning, breathtaking masterpiece that is your xicheng novel (and yes it is a novel, i say so). it is still ongoing and you started it in 2019, but i need to mention it here because it truly is something that is lifechanging. i feel so blessed that i get the front seats and vip access to all the updates, to all your thoughts and ideas. you go through a lot with it and i am never not proud of you ❤️ another one i want to mention is this wei wuxian & mo xuanyu oneshot you wrote for me because i am still crying about it. i have no words.  honourable mentions: your easter islanders (lan wangji and jiang cheng) and this xicheng soulmate au 

another creator i want to mention is @the-cloud-whisperer and their nirvana in fire fic Heroic Woman（烈婦） , which is absolutely wonderful.  i found you through your ATLA fics (which i adore) and saw you posting about nirvana in fire and this year, finally, i watched the show and was blown away. i love your other NIF fics too, but this one feels very special because i always thought li yang’s character was so incredibly fascinating. thank you for writing this 💕

for more other creations just look at my bookmarks on ao3, there is the untamed, nirvana in fire, yyy the series, hwarang, winter begonia and original sin (from 2020 and many more if you scroll further) please give everyone i mentioned love!!!!!

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: 

oh boy here we go. once again @vishcount, @the-cloud-whisperer, @intyalote, @sassyassassy, @isabellaofparma, @passionpeachy, @finny-red, @guzhuangheaven  @honeyiling, @holmesandwhatson  @bloody-bee-tea, @leoyunxi, @gusucloud, @ohsehuns and many many more that must slip my mind.

all of you, consider yourself tagged in this game and even if we never spoke to each other, i greatly appreciate all of you and i want to give some love. if you feel like doing this, i hope you can have fun!  💕

#phew #another one done #all my usual suspects must be tired of me dfghj #but this is so lovely and fun #thanks dear #tag game #personal #2020 #writing

[proudgodot]

Gratitude

I was not initially planning to post about this, given that my unfortunate tendency to over-share has caused me quite a bit of grief in the past, but the truth is that I simply couldn’t resist this time. Typically when I am overcome by an uncontrollable desire to post it is because I am desperately in need of attention or validation, so much so that I can’t actually remember a time when I posted because I was genuinely eager to share something. It was always out of some perverse and misplaced sense of obligation, but it finally feels as if that burden is lifted. While I was writing this post, it was because I felt a genuine…. pride over something I had accomplished, something I genuinely wanted to share with the world. When I chose the name of this blog I didn’t earnestly expect that I would ever feel anything other than shame about myself… it seemed more an ideal than an actual plausible prediction. I’m just so relieved my wish came true.

Anyway, I suppose that is quite enough navel-gazing for the time being… I can only imagine my followers have probably had enough of that to last a long and fulfilling lifetime. I reckon it’s time to move on to the actual story.

As most of you well know, following the dramatic events of the Kristahlia drama, I suddenly found myself with the new responsibility of parenthood. There are certainly aspects of my new lifestyle that have been difficult to adjust to… principle of which is that I am supposed to serve as a sort of role model for these developing and damaged boys. I have never been particularly aspirational, in fact you would be hard-pressed to find someone as underperforming as me. Although I was prone to overcompensating for such things, always desperately trying to prove that I was capable of as much as the bare minimum, looking back I see that I grew too comfortable with those low expectations. When it registered that as a caretaker I would suddenly have to perform a sort of excellence, not for the sake of my fragile ego but for the betterment of these children… I was immediately overcome by a painful inadequacy. However, as our first week together progressed, I came to realize that in certain regards all of us were personally inadequate, and it was for that very reason we had taken on this responsibility together. Although I certainly had my short-comings, that wasn’t something unique to me, and over time we all began to coordinate better and help manage each other’s weaknesses. I was somewhat surprised to learn this was not only true of the adults, but the children as well. The dynamic we developed as a family was rather symbiotic… I found that regardless of age we all had something to offer each other.

Regardless, I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to keep my found family as distant as possible from my most severe personal issues. My past was something I felt I had to resolve independently, no matter how tempting it was to once again depend on the people in my life to solve my problems in my stead. That is why when I made the decision to start looking into Anton’s whereabouts, I never spoke a word about it to my housemates.

Facebook made finding his account incredibly easy, distressingly so in fact. I became acutely aware of the possibility that he might have been recommended my account numerous times over the years and had consciously chosen not to send me a friend request, which although completely understandable still hurt immensely to imagine. Perhaps my hopelessly romantic dream to reconnect with the man was unrequited, and would be rejected with extreme prejudice if vocalized. Eventually, however, I managed to muster up the courage to actually inspect his profile. I discovered that after our quarrel six years ago and his subsequent transferral Anton had moved back to his hometown in Ann Arbor to complete his degree in art and design. Since graduating, he had been working as a freelance artist and animator… he often posted about how proud of his projects he was, and it was reassuring to see his enthusiasm had not diminished in the slightest over the years. One detail about his profile that immediately jumped out at me was his relationship status, which was currently set to single. Despite myself, I immediately felt a small flicker of hope ignite within my quickened heart. Upon further investigation, it appeared he’d been involved in several relationships over the years that had ultimately ended in failure, although the circumstances were unclear. I only hoped he hadn’t made a habit of dating unappreciative losers…

I managed to quell my anxiety briefly and force myself to send him a friend request, which almost immediately filled me with a sense of mounting dread. My anticipation wasn’t even allowed much time to simmer, because mere minutes after I sent the message I was notified that it had been accepted. Instinctively, I slammed my laptop shut and jumped out of my seat, forgetting that I was incapable of standing up so quickly without losing all feeling in my legs and face planting into the floor. I instantly regretted not taking Addy’s advice and getting that checked by a doctor, because soon enough the entire family was in my room gathered around my body and asking questions with varying degrees of concern and amusement. Although I had wanted to keep my activity a secret, at that moment I was swept away in the drama, and so I began to mindlessly rant about the situation.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but soon enough there were six pairs of hands all frantically scrambling for control of my keyboard. While I laid incapacitated on the floor, my friends had taken it upon themselves to respond to Anton’s messages, each expressing their own thoughts from my account in randomly alternating orders depending on who had managed to prevail in the wrestling. It seemed that Iara maintained the upper hand most of the fight, although it was admittedly difficult to tell over the frenzy at times considering my limited view from the floor.

Eventually, the chaos subsided and everyone turned to look at me with beaming smiles on their faces, some more devious than others. I immediately began to worry that they had sabotaged me somehow, be it in light-hearted jest or in an earnest act of betrayal, and so I asked them nervously what exactly they had done. For a moment it seemed they were trying to contain their excitement, but it didn’t take long for them to erupted into an uproarious celebration, complete with victorious chants that Anton was coming to meet us in person this evening!

I didn’t know how to react. All at once a tempest of conflicting emotions completely overpowered me… and I mean that quite literally. I knocked out cold, and when I finally woke up I discovered that not only had Kyler been trying to shock me awake by applying Takis to my tongue, but that the situation had not miraculously resolved itself. Although everyone else had mostly settled down, my mind was whirling a mile a minute with all of the things I had to do to prepare. I had a whole bucket list I needed to accomplish before I was comfortable standing in front of Anton again… and as much as I hated to admit it, I couldn’t possibly get everything done myself over such a brief time. To my surprise, I didn’t even have a chance to put my reservations aside before they had already agreed to help me based off of my panicked listing of errands alone. Despite my reluctance to involve my new friends in the more turbulent aspects of personal life, it seemed they were actually eager to get involved themselves… I discovered that my problems were not an inconvenience to them, but rather something they were excited to help me work through.

The first obstacle I had to overcome was also the hardest… that being that I had never properly apologized to Gabriella and Lana for my dishonest and frankly abusive treatment. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t have the words to express my remorse or that I hadn’t processed my guilt, but that Gabriella’s parting words to me specifically informed me not to contact her and I didn’t want to once again disrespect her wishes. However, after some words of encouragement from the family, I managed to write a relatively concise three thousand word email taking responsibility for my past actions and wishing the couple well. As I was writing this post, I actually received a response from the two telling me they appreciated my apology and were glad to see I had grown into a more mature person. Apparently they have just finished settling into their cottage and are now doing better than ever. Lana even expressed an interest in meeting Addy and Iara in particular sometime… I suppose it’s a sapphic thing. I’m just glad that they’re finally living the happy life they deserve without being held back by backwards men.

My email took longer to type then I had expected, and although I certainly can not regret pouring my heart into the message given its importance, it did mean that we had to pick up the pace with the rest of the bucket list. Kyler took this quite literally, speeding at what must have been 100 miles per hour towards the mall despite nearly giving me a heart attack and my insistence that he not set such a bad example for Chris and Klav. We actually ended up getting pulled over, but luckily Iara managed to scare the officer away with her signature scowl. The next few hours were a frantic rush of errands, all focused on helping me actually express myself without the burden of repression. There were moments when it was a struggle, such as when I nearly hyperventilated in Claire’s before they pierced my ears, but ultimately I am immensely satisfied with the results. The most fulfilling moment was finally getting the tips of my hair bleached white to match my new profile picture. Chris actually got his hair dyed alongside me, changing his style from pale blond to black and white to reflect his new kin. It was incredibly rewarding to accomplish this alongside him… I had never been the subject of anything but disappointment from my parents, so it was an incredible feeling to be able to experience that absent parental pride for myself, even if it was with a different perspective.  

By the time Anton was forecasted to arrive, my appearance had been upgraded to better reflect my current sense of self… all that was left was for me to get in the right mindset. Luckily, my family was perfectly eager to act as my own personal “hype beasts,” as Kyler put it. They offered excellent emotional support in the half-hour we sat in the den patiently awaiting his arrival, especially Addy, who really took my mind off things by offering to play me in a game of chess. I lost quite handedly, but for once I don’t have it in me to be a spoilsport. When we heard that fateful knock at the door, they all immediately ran into the nearest closest and shut themselves inside to give us some space, but not before giving me a final set of encouraging thumbs up. I hesitated for a moment, questioning once again whether I was really ready to take such a big step in my life. My hand paused, hovering over the door knob uncertainly… until I heard the faint sounds of Steely Dan’s Come on Eileen coming from inside the closet, accompanied by the muffled sound of Klav’s giggle. Reignited by the familiar sounds of my favorite musicians, I swung the door open with a new and uncharacteristic conviction.

And there he was… I was immediately captivated by just how strong his presence was. My memories hadn’t done him justice… it really was like I was in the presence of an angel. I was comforted by certain familiar aspects of his appearance, such as his golden brown eyes that glistened like stars, his long curly hair with its comforting strawberry aroma, and his signature checkered scarf that he had been consistently wearing for almost decade now… but what really excited me were those new features. Normally I am turned off by change, but I was positively breathless as soon as my eyes wandered to the golden butterfly tattoo on his exposed shoulder. I felt as if I was going to faint for a second time in one day. 

I couldn’t find the words to express the depths of my emotion no matter how hard I searched my impassioned soul... there were no words strong enough. Instead I just cried, and wordlessly he accepted me into his arms… just like he had on that life-changing night all those years ago. I finally told him everything I had so obstinately refused to say during college… that I was gay, that I was in love with him, and that I was sorry. Although I was openly weeping, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relieved in my life.

Eventually, he managed to pacify me… and so I was able to explain to him the entire story of the Kristahlia drama. It was difficult to explain that I had managed to go from discoursing with these teenage kinnies to adopting them, but he was as understanding as he ever was. He was so excited to meet my family that he even brought his cat Apple all the way from Michigan just to introduce her to them. I don’t think I have ever mentioned this publicly, but when Krissy died I had to take her dog Diogenes in myself, and I was surprised to find that the two animals got along perfectly. It really did feel like the entire house was accepting him... it was as if this was meant to be.

Since Anton had gone to all the trouble of making the ten hour drive to Iowa, he suggested that we might as well all hang out together in Cedar Rapids over the weekend. I suppose it’s a date... I must say that I am looking forward to it, as are the others. I know I didn’t deserve to be accepted by him again just because I spent a few hours shedding tears and profusely apologizing, but for once I don’t feel guilty that I have received something I don’t deserve. I just feel... an overwhelming gratitude for the opportunity.

I am certainly still inexperienced at this whole family business and have accepted that I will inevitably make some mistakes in the future, but I don’t think I’ve done too poorly for a first week, if I do say so myself. I am truly grateful to all the people in my life who have supported me through my journey, who have taught me that it is possible to rely on others without being a parasite and to be relied on without shouldering the entire burden. 

To my partners, my friends, my children, and my love... from the bottom of my heart, thank you. 

#sincerely adam

[ostensiblyarticulate]

For the fun meta asks for writers, numbers 4, 7, 10, 11 and or 18.

Oh my okay. Awesome. Thank you! Whoo! Obviously this is all going to be She-Ra themed. Here we go:

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like).

I’m honored to say I’ve heard a lot of positive feedback on a lot of things I’m proud of - I’m picking this one in particular for technical reasons. It’s the following from Any Order You’d Like:

I had this (obnoxiously complicated, also obnoxiously quick) mental picture in my head and it was absolute HELL to figure out how to put it into words. Especially in a way that communicated the image while still, y’know, retaining the drama. I like to think I managed it.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

I have no idea why is this one so hard why did I do this ask post. I like to write dialogue and I like to write hijinks and I like to write conflict, and I spend a lot of time on the internal lives of the characters I’m writing about. I think I’m funny? I hope my writing is accessible, even if I do somewhat abuse thesaurus.com, which happens to be the most important entry in my browser’s bookmarks bar. A fairly large contingent of my sentences are too long. I like italics.

To part 2 of this question: I have no idea and do in fact wish I knew.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Methodical chaos.

11. What do you envy in other writers?

Speed. Concision. That weird ineffable thing some people can do where they put a perfectly normal set of words in a magic order that somehow has a perfectly calculated direct line to my gut. Those are just the repeat offenders, though; I’ve never met a writer who doesn’t have something to be jealous of (though I prefer to call it admiration).

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

So many. I am not going to mention every scrapped version of everything I’ve written, because it’s a lot. But here are what I consider the greatest hits (from the spop fics, because they’re really the only ones long and plotty enough to have alternatives):

Learning Curve had an early version wherein Geoda (whose purpose in the story is to flirt with Catra) was actively sinister and trying to seduce -  maybe even blackmail - Catra into leaving the Etherian party/Best Friends Squad. I scrapped it very very early because the essay that is hiding under that fic’s trenchcoat is much, MUCH better served by a perfectly normal young woman who saw a hot girl and wants to get into her pants. (Geoda is #relatable and I do hope she finds a nice date who doesn’t come with an irate 7ft tall magic warrior girlfriend. Maybe she and Ondine hook up. Yes, I did just start shipping my own fic extras. Is this how one acquires OCs?)

Any order you’d like for a long time had an ending wherein Glimmer conned the space pirates into giving the Best Friends Squad all the tech they needed, then the BFS went on their merry way and left the pirates adrift in space where no one could hear them scream. This did not feel in keeping with the spirit of the show, and inspired the bit at the end where Catra thinks about how she would have defeated the pirates vindictively vs how Glimmer instead turns them into a sideways kind of friends. There was also a bit I had to cut where the BFS got pulled over by space traffic cops for a broken taillight, which I may still use somewhere else because it cracks me up.

Twist had an ending wherein Catra rips up all her work, is happy it doesn’t actually matter, and goes to sleep. It was important to me, because the Catra section of that fic is very much about NOT assigning arbitrary symbolism to small acts - just because you can’t find your keys doesn’t mean you’ll never get your life together, that time your sink sprung a leak is not an analogy for who you are as a person, and ruining your yarn project doesn’t mean you’re inherently destructive, just as completing it doesn’t mean you’re suddenly okay. There’s a place where the metaphor ends. The version I went with still includes this beat, it just isn’t the ending. Because - and honestly the shortest way to explain where my head’s at with this is to quote the fic itself - “It’s something she can make or wreck or make poorly and no one will care, and so when she chooses to finish it it isn’t penance, it’s just...nice.“ I liked that better, and I still do.

#ForsythiaRising #answered #deihiru

[k-tarot]

Hi!!!! I really love your blog and I've gotten really curious after seeing all the asks so can I ask for a #6 with BTS from Admin C? 🥺🥺❤️❤️ My name is Morfia 💜

@mabel-k3

Hello Morfia~

That makes me so happy to hear that you like our blog! ❤️ thank you so much for requesting and sorry for the late reading hun! Thank you so much for being patient and I hope you enjoy the reading!

So I started by pulling two extra cards just to give me some more information about you! Take what resonates! So first off, you may be a Scorpio or water sign or may have a lot of water in your chart, as Pluto rules over the sign of Scorpio. Basically with Pluto and the mouse card what’s really jumping out is that you are very very detail-oriented. Maybe even to the point that you’re a perfectionist or maybe even a bit of a control freak! And not in the sense that you don’t trust others, but just because you hold a lot of expectations for your visions, and have a lot over you with the expectations that people hold over you. So sometimes, to others it might be overbearing, but what also jumps out is that people don’t know your experiences and what you’ve been through so it’s just hard for them to understand. And with this imagery of Pluto, I do get a sense that maybe you come of kind of cold sometimes to others or intimidating, so it makes it harder for them to be more empathetic in understanding where you’re coming from.

Anyway! Lol I’ll jump into the relationship readings now!

Your relationship with Jin. Honestly, I had a bit of a hard time figuring out what was going on! But with the cards I pulled for you on the side I think I understand. In your relationship with Jin, it seems you kind of have that image that other have of you. You’re very independent and powerful. You help yourself and don’t really want help at times even if it’s there. It seems like your relationship with Jin is kind of unsteady. Jin’s really focused on his career and he’s a very hardworking person, but it seems like at this point he’s lost something related to his career or had a big financial loss. He’s struggling a lot with how to cope and is just trying to move forward but with this loss it seems like he’s opened his eyes to take a better look at your relationship. It’s almost like, in a relationship with Jin you don’t ever really feel like you can fully open up to him especially since he’s so focused on his career. But this is the turning point where, he’s choosing you, but you also have to choose him and put in effort into opening yourself and trusting in him too.

So after reading everything, the romance oracle card makes a lot more sense to me. I don’t get that it’s on Jin’s end, but in a relationship with Jin, you would have to be able to come around and believe that Jin does care for you.

Okay and for Yoongi! Wow you are such an independent person! I think in a relationship with Yoongi, it’s almost like threatening. Let me explain. It’s like you always have plans and know what you’re going to do and try to have everything figured out, and you’re very much the leader of your own life, your thoughts, wants, actions, even if you are doing things and living by other expectations. But being in a relationship with Yoongi, just completely throws you off and it’s like an entire culture shock and you don’t really know how to handle it. Even more because it doesn’t seem like Yoongi is handling it either, but he’s somehow like the head in the relationship. The imagery in your two cards is very different but it’s almost amusing. Like your card is dark and there’s lightning and everything is legit chaos. But on Yoongi’s side he’s just chilling and the sun is shining and like he could be less bothered by anything in the world. And the swan energy kind of emphasizes that. He’s a very creative person, and he works a lot with that and so he just goes with the flow. So I’m this relationship, what you struggle to understand is the amount you can learn from Yoongi and what he has to offer you even though it doesn’t really look like he has anything to offer. And it seems like the last thing you would expect from Yoongi is romance and love, but that’s the one thing he can give you that you would be happy with once you accept what he has to give.

Hoseok. Hmm it seems like the two of you actually have a very harmonious relationship. With Hoseok’s cards, it’s kind of of everything comes round circle. We have imagery of two circles basically. Like Hoseok is a hard-worker and anything he brings into his life and works up to, he does for the people he cares and loves too. So it’s not just him prospering, it’s everyone around him. And like working towards good things, he’s able to understand there’s a balance and when the bad things come, they come and you just deal with it. Having you and being in a relationship with you just makes things so much easier for Hoseok because you’re a hard worker just like him. You have passion and motivation and ambition and that just pushes him more. But it seems sometimes, every now and then the two of you seem to fall into competing against each other instead of working together even though you guys are reaching for the same goal or trying to prove the same point. And basically, the romance oracle card is just that piece of advice. When times get a little hard because of the tension you two manifest, you guys just need to remember that you have other people who love and care about you to help you too.

And moving on to Namjun! Wow, you offer a lot to Namjun. With the fox energy, Namjun is a very smart and intelligent, and that leads to success. He’s also a keeper, but you have to catch him first and get him to hold on to you, instead of holding on to him. It seems you’re the one who goes after Namjun in this relationship. Because Namjun has so much going on in his life and they’re all things fantastic like he couldn’t ask for more. But that also means he has a lot of options and that’s something you can see. Basically, in this relationship you’re the one who shows Namjun everything you have to offer him that would bring in even more prosperity and success to him because you know who you are and that you can help him do that. You’re hardworking and there’s nothing more stable than someone who can commit to work and bring in success. And you’re also a very honest and straightforward person and that’s something you can see that he appreciates and respects. You know you have feelings for Namjun and know that you deserve what you want and that you’re both good enough for each other. But you also know you’re not just chasing, you can see that Namjun is interested too, he just hasn’t taken a hold because he’s also looking to see what’s worth holding on to. Hence, you showing him how badass of a person you are!

Jimin. Mmm... it seems like your relationship with Jimin might not be what you think or see it. In your relationship with Jimin, you’re very much in love with him. Like you’ve never met anyone like him before. Like wow you feel like he’s the one and everything is coming around and you’re finally getting what you want with who you want it to be with. And so you’re taking time to think about plans and how you’re getting ready to just be with him, but everything’s happening kind of fast. At least for Jimin. In this relationship, he’s very passionate and there’s probably really REALLY good like physical energy between the two of you and that might be part of why you’re so drawn to him. Like you’ve never experienced having a connection like this with any guy before and so you think he’s the one. But there’s actually underlying conflict. With the deception card, I wouldn’t say that Jimin is trying to deceive you, but it’s more you might find it feels like that once you actually get to know him better. After the two of you ride out the passion a little longer, you might get to know him more and he’s not who he seemed like. Like he’s enjoying your time together, but it seems like he’s more focused on himself and getting to his dreams and accomplishing his goals before settling in a committed relationship like you were. In your relationship with Jimin, it’s not that you guys didn’t actually like each other or that the chemistry wasn’t really, but it seems like the two of you are just at different points in your life and what you’re wanting.

Tae. It seems like the romantic relationship you have with tae is like a flirty friend, but it doesn’t progress into anything more. However both of you are very fond of each other. There’s definitely strong attraction there. It feels like in the relationship, Tae is the one who teaches you a different kind of love. Self-love. Tae is a very confident individual who knows his worth and how he deserves to be treated. And I think seeing you, he can see that there are certain aspects that you haven’t learned to see or accept about yourself. Whether because you can’t see them or if you’re just trying to be humble and modest. It seems you develop your relationship with him as a friend and the flirt ones when you finally have time for yourself. Like after taking a break from work or finishing a huge project that’s completely drained you and kind of put you in a lost sense of ‘what do I do now’, even though you want to enjoy yourself. Almost like you’ve forgotten how to enjoy yourself and treat yourself. After writing that, I just had a flash maybe you do have a deeper intimate relationship with Tae, but I don’t get the feeling it develops into a committed relationship like girlfriend and boyfriend, but it’s not a friends with benefits either. What you guys feel for each other is very sincere and deep care for each other, but you do kind of cross that line of more than just friends.

Wow lol. Jungkook. I wasn’t expecting this! But it’s really soft haha. Basically, you are very independent like a majority of the other relationships. But almost in a way where because of the things you’ve experienced in the past, you’re very to yourself and don’t get involved with others. In the sense that, were people to need help or an extra hand whether small or big, if you didn’t feel like spending the energy you wouldn’t do anything. Like you’ve been through A LOT, to get to where you are so you have a lot of masculine energy coming out in this relationship. But Jungkook is kind of the one to teach you about the feminine aspects you still have and can have. He has very pure energy in this relationship and it’s really healing. Like yeah success is great and everything and you deserve it especially if you worked hard, but remember the people around you. Yes hard experiences and all, but like also don’t let that hold you back is what Jungkook kind of reminds you of. And especially your old self, if there are aspects of the old you you didn’t like. So with that forgiving and learning, it’s not really like about you and Jungkook having fights or anything, it more about him helping you with your past struggles and opening up a lot of new doors for you. And this is a romantic reading lol I didn’t really talk about romance in this one, but it’s like the romantic sense where he’s helping you heal while building a new future with you.

Alright! It’s a bit a of a read but I really hope you enjoyed it! 😊

admin c

#kpop #tarot #tarot reading #personalized #bts #jin #seokjin #yoongi #yungi #hoseok #namjoon #namjun #jimin #taehyung #jungkook #jeongkook #k-tarot #hope you liked it!! #admin c

[from-the-clouds]

Everything You’ve Come To Expect II - Quentin Beck/Reader

Part I | Masterlist

Summary: A former employee of Stark Industries hides in solitude from her past, until she is forced to confront it years later. After all the time away, she realizes still hasn’t recovered from her heartbreak. 

Words: 1.9k

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reblogged/liked/gave me feedback. I’ve been in a creative rut and it was such a boost of confidence to see all your kind words :) I put out the first part without really having an idea of where this was going, so I don’t know how good this part will be. Next chapter things will get going, I promise, I’m thinking this might end up being 5-ish parts! I also would love to do some pre-FFH little fics about them, so let me know if there’s something in particular you’d like to see :)

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Quentin must have been exhausted. That was the only explanation, as it was 9:45am and Y/N had yet to hear him stir. He had always had a strict routine - early to bed, early to rise. He’d plan his day out ahead of time down, writing schedules on pieces of paper that ended up scattered around their apartment. Organized chaos. She had been the only one who could get him to break from his customs, only after reams of convincing.

As the clock crept closer and closer to 10 a.m., and she had yet to hear him stir, it dawned on her that whatever had happened last night couldn’t have been an act. If he was really so worn down he was letting himself sleep in, maybe whatever he’d come from had been more serious than she’d thought, not a dramatization of a desperate plea for attention.

On the other hand, she’d tossed and turned all night. She couldn’t find out what was more unsettling - that the man she’d spent several years of her life with had showed up on her doorstep without warning, or that he was now sleeping only meters down the hallway in her guest bedroom. It was probably both. The whole situation was confusing, and she’d been awarded very few answers. Knowing Quentin, he’d probably figured out some way to manipulate the truth, so looking online wasn’t going to help. And some small, immature part of her wanted to know absolutely nothing. How comforting the idea of ignorance was.

She stared out at her backyard, curling up in the deck chair as she finished off the mug of coffee she’d been nursing, her only hope to function that day. Her mind was still spinning as she gazed absentmindedly at the forest in her backyard, trees packed so thick you could hardly see between them, the ground bedded with fallen branches, moss, and brush. Birds sang, insects chirped. It was the picture of peace, solitude. And yet, she couldn’t seem to find an echo of it within herself.

Leaving the coffee pot on for Quentin, she laced up boots over her jeans, and pulled a flannel on to keep the morning chill at bay. When she stepped onto her front porch, she stared at the winding dirt road that snaked through the woods into town, wearily eyeing a beat-up blue car that served as an explanation for how Quentin had gotten here.

It wasn’t until she’d made it about a mile into her hike that the full force of every emotion she’d been feeling since his arrival hit her, the weight of it knocking into her chest and squeezing so tight she could hardly breathe. Staggering sideways, she steadied herself against a sequoia, it’s solid trunk and elephantine branches hanging overhead provided some sort of momentary stability. But she was still reeling.

Memories had been flooding her conscious since their eyes had first locked the evening before. Eating takeout on the floor of his apartment after she’d had a bad day at work. His cheek pressed against hers as they swayed along to a slow symphony, the night she’d foolishly spilled her feelings for him after too many flutes of champagne. Her back pressed against the wall of a secluded hallway, pinned there by his hips, his stubble on her neck. Shuddering, her fingers clenched into fists, bark from the tree scraping off amid the friction. What did she owe him, after everything? There was a time when it was easy to believe it was nothing.

Clearing her throat, she straightened up, she couldn’t allow this to tear her apart. She was better than this. Taking in a deep breath, she tried her hardest to force air through her lungs and steady her heart rate. Glancing to her side, she took a moment to appreciate the view, in front of her, where the path dropped off and spilled into a shallow valley of trees, a babbling brook curling through the bottom.

After spending so much time outside the past few years, she should have noticed the birds around her silencing, scattering, twigs snapping, the shift of rocks underfoot. It was too late when she realized she was no longer alone.

“Do you mind if I join you?”

Quentin was standing a few feet back, arms hanging limply at his sides, the space between them measured, certainly ...testing his luck. He was still dressed in the clothes she’d given him the night before, hair looking a little mussed from sleep. The shiner on his left eye was much more prominent it had been the evening before, a rainbow of purple, black, and yellow. He still managed to look so ruggedly handsome, but she was sure he already knew that. She could only guess how long he’d been following her, but she hoped he didn’t witness her meltdown only minutes ago.

“It looks like you already have,” she answered, and rolled her shoulders back.

The sarcastic response that should have been his was never spoken. Instead his eyes remained on hers, pleading. Reluctantly, she gestured for him to follow.

He fell into step beside her and they walked in silence. She was thankful for that, as she was still trying to work through what she needed to know. Some things, she decided, were better left unsaid.

The climax of the hike was the view over the vast valley where she lived, any signs of humanity below covered by the towering evergreens. It was breathtaking, vast, open. Pictures, she had found, could never do it justice. And as much as she had tried to commit it to memory, it was better to see it in person.

“Well,” she heard Quentin mumble from beside her. She turned to look at him as he took in the view, thick eyelashes, ski-sloped nose, and sharp jawline covered by stubble. There were lines around his eyes, from years of smiling, that goofy, shit-eating grin that had first caught her attention when she’d begun working with him years ago.

He’d been indifferent when she’d first been assigned to the project, and she observed his standoffish, almost cruel aversion to the others on their team. But she recognized it wasn’t hostility. He was focused, passionate, dedicated. He was difficult to crack. She could have her fair share of partners, but some unknown force had drawn her to him. And after a spell, he revealed a sort of reluctant kindness, which ultimately blossomed into something else entirely. Seeing how it all played out, she wondered if she should have known better.

“This is everything you’ve always wanted,” he murmured.

“Yeah,” she answered. Not quite everything.

When she turned her head back to the view, she instantly felt his eyes on her, burning with intense focus. “I hope you’re happy,” he said, voice delicate. It was clear to her he was trying to take her emotional temperature, gauge her mood, but she was done with the pleasantries. It was forced, fake, and Quentin of all people should have known better.

“Why did you come here, Quentin?” she asked, turning around. “Because I know it wasn’t for an ice pack and a good night of sleep.”

He considered her question for a moment, expressed relaxing. “I fucked up,” he confessed. “In more ways than one, and I-” he cleared his throat. “I needed a place to regroup, to….figure things out,” her eyes narrowed as he spoke. This frazzled, uneasy man was not the Quentin she’d known before she left.

“I’m assuming master plan didn’t work out?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“I tried, okay?” he raised his voice slightly, enough to know she’d hit a nerve. His frustration wasn’t directed at her, but it didn’t matter. It was always someone else’s fault. Because Quentin could do no wrong. “And I was almost successful. But I’m not finished-”

Y/N took two steps forward to close the gap between them. “What did you do, Quentin? What details have you conveniently left out of the story? Whose blood is on your hands?” A harsh gush of wind accompanied her movement, her hair falling in her eyes.

“No one’s!” he insisted, raising his hands. “And I can explain everything. But no one died, okay?”

“So what do you want?” she asked. “You think you can just show up on my doorstep and have a place to stay?” all the words she’d been longing to say were pouring out, and she couldn’t seem to stop them. “So I can help with whatever delusional idea you’ve conjured up to save yourself? That’s why I left you in the first place. You’re obsessed. And now that you’ve failed, you come back like everything is supposed to be okay? And I’m supposed to let you back in?”

“Listen to me!” he shouted, cutting her off, and she clearly the fire in his eyes. It had always been there, but it burned differently after Tony had fired him. She staggered backwards, startled, and he immediately lowered his voice in response. “I fucked up. But I need help. I just need some time….a place to stay. I’m in danger, and I can’t show my face in public until I can figure out what to do next. I have no other options.”

The next part was coughed up reluctantly, a defeated admission.

“You’re all I have left.”

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Quentin could see the conflict in her eyes as she took in his request, he’d always been able to read her. He was a master manipulator, and he’d taken pride in it, but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt Y/N. Over the years, the line between good and evil had blurred considerably, but he had always known where to draw it when it came to her. That had been easy. In part because she’d never done anything to deserve it. But now, it was as though she was testing him.

It almost angered him, that he was unable to lie to her with the same ease he had to lied to others. She probably knew it, too. How clever she was.

She withheld her answer. Instead, she turned away to look at the horizon. He didn’t like this cold, indifferent version of the woman he’d once loved. In his life, there were several things he’d thought he’d never find, one of them being comfort. But she had given it so freely to him, and now she was holding it over his head when he needed it most.

Her hair splayed in every direction as she took in the view beyond. Quentin took a moment to acknowledge how beautiful she looked, even in her clear frustration.

He had considered, in their time apart, finding someone else to fill the space she’d left in his life. Of course, he was too busy for anything serious. But the rendezvous he’d had left him with a bad taste in his mouth. It made him furious, that he’d allowed her to crack his resolve, to open a space in his life that had always been closed, and then she’d left it empty, vacant.

Quentin lowered his voice in a final, desperate plea. “Honey, please. I’ll tell you everything.”

“I can tell when you’re lying,” she answered finally, but didn’t give him the courtesy of turning to face him. “So you’d better tell the truth.”

Her eyes lifted to lock with his, and he almost smiled when he recognized the blaze inside them, ferocious. Throwing his tricks right back in his face. He had to admire what she’d let rub off on her.

“And then, you can stay.”

Brushing past him, her shoulder grazed his. The olive branch had been extended. It would be enough....for now.

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PART III

TAGLIST (let me know if you’d like to be added!): @mgikwangminwoo @belles-garden @kusooi @ssskeletonsoffun @robynthesavior @yourbiggestspiderfan  Thanks again ya’ll for the kind words!

#spiderman #spiderman: far from home #jake gyllenhaal #quentin beck #mysterio #quentin beck x reader #quentin beck imagine #mysterio x reader #mysterio imagine #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal imagine #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman fiction #marvel writing #mcu writing #quentin beck x you #mysterio x you #quentin beck x y/n #mysterio x y/n #jake gyllenhaal writing

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, BRIDGET! You’ve been accepted for the role of HERMIA. Admin Julie: Bridget, your application for Hazel was, in short, incredible. Nothing felt unfinished out or out of place -- every word you wrote felt as though it just made sense. It was a true, genuinely pleasure to read; your in-character interview was especially heartrending, and honestly, listening to Hazel speak felt quite a lot like coming home and sitting down with an old friend over a nice cup of tea, or coffee, which is a welcome relief from the harshness that Verona can often personify if you let yourself get too drawn in to the chaos and the angst and the pain. Hazel is utterly human in an incredible way, and you hit that nail right on the head. We cannot wait to see her on the dashboard, and we cannot wait to have you with us. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Bridget Age | Twenty-two Preferred Pronouns | She/they Activity Level | I am currently in a fugue state when it comes to both the perception of myself and of time, so while I will intend to be online everyday, sometimes a few days will slip through the cracks of my conscious and then I’ll realize I’ve been MIA and do my best to do about 123432 replies in an hour to play catch-up. That said, I can guarantee at least four days a week being online for at least an hour if not more. Timezone | EST How did you find the rp?  | I feel like I’ve known this RP for years but honestly I’ve been capital-I Intimidated by it, but I was talking to Kay and figured I was finally willing to take the plunge Current/Past RP Accounts | https://rvncorns.tumblr.com/ https://birdieklein.tumblr.com/

IN CHARACTER

Character | Hermia ; Hazel Ruth Accardi

Hazel ; english: the hazelnut tree Ruth ; biblical, hebrew: compassionate friend Accardi ; a family who believes in God above all, following his teachings in all motions of their life

What drew you to this character? |

As mentioned above, I’ve seen this roleplay for years, and I have had friends be a part of it. In the depths of my Google Drive, I have half-started apps that I never finished due to the muse never being quite there, or for fear of submitting and facing competition itself. I’ve perused the masterlist every so often, but no one has quite piqued my interest quite like Hazel.

I think I knew I had to app them after reading the line, “ only a foolish saint believed that they could walk through a city of such sin with unblemished hands and clean soles of feet. ” It was so visceral, and it really made me start imagining this character further than what the biography offered. I could only picture her having found this solid identity, certainly marked by the world, but mostly unstained. I couldn’t help but think that this — being in Verona, that is — is going to change her. She might not realize it, She might not want to believe it, but it will happen slowly and surely.

I do love characters that have crises with identity. There is something soothing in being sure of yourself and who you are, and I do believe that fuels Hazel. She fought and struggled to find herself, and now she will begin to struggle and fight to keep herself as she is, as who she knows herself to become.

There’s room for both growth and regression within Hazel, and I genuinely would love to explore it.

I also was captured by her love and fervid passion for religion. As someone who has personally struggled with religion and their own views of it, I think Hazel will be an interesting projection. I want to see her lean into her faith with all that is coming to trouble her because that is who they are. God is her Shepherd and she is his lamb. He is guiding her through all of this, struggles and all.

I don’t think she’ll ever come to have a moment where she will renounce her faith. It is embedded in her. She is solid and unwavering in it — and I desperately believe that that can’t be changed, no matter what the world — Verona, specifically — will throw at them.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

I always fear that I’m not living right: I want to explore how far Hazel falls in with the Montagues. Is it forging only ? Does it stop there ? Or does it slowly become more and more until she realizes she is drowning in sin she could have never imagined ? I want her to have moral conflict. She loves Verona for its beauty and history — but is it worth the sin ? Is it worth the stain on her godly soul no matter how many times she goes to confession ? I gotta say I don’t think she’ll be necessarily cognizant of her doing more. It just seems like she’s paying off their debts. A gun to the face has put the fear of God in her heart ( — which leads me to wonder how much fear did she have of God to begin with, the righteous and Almighty, and I do suppose I could write a whole thesis on this but I’ll refrain ) and to question it seems like the wrong move.

ALSO HAHA I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS RIGHT NOW pt. 2 : what if she started forging for the Capulets too ? Like, to make more money on the side ? The money they’re earning from the Montagues is basically nil, considering it’s all going to debts. If she wants a little money in her pockets, maybe she’ll have to do what she has to. Maybe there’s no choice. It could be dangerous and risky — scratch that. It would definitely be dangerous and risky. But I think a part of Hazel is still somewhat blind to all of the danger. It hasn’t quite touched her yet ( a gun to her face aside ), so it hasn’t quite struck her how much is at play, at least not in a real, physical, palpable way.

I do have to say that I’m pretty sure she will end up more involved within either the Montagues or the Capulets despite what her initial thoughts are ( because that’s the path I’d like to move with her ). Slowly but surely, she’ll end up in deeper water, but I don’t think she’ll want to get out so long as she feels safe. That’s so important, a sense of safety. She has that in her relationship with her parents, and especially her relationship with God. That said, I feel like I need to add that she will stay involved with the gangs so long as she isn’t hurting anyone directly. She’ll have blinders on, specifically rose-colored ones, of her own making. Perhaps it’s naive, perhaps it’s selfish, but to think too long about it is scary. To add on the thought of hurting someone else by her direct action ? Unfathomable. It’s established in the biography that she saw the world in extremes, and I do imagine that, while she has grown, she still sees some things in black and white. I think getting more involved with the Capulets and Montagues will show her that the world isn’t just her version of black and white. What she sees as wrong, someone else might see it as right. I think she’ll be introduced to shades of grey she never quite was able to perceive anymore. I want her to learn more about people as she learns more about the war between the Montagues and Capulets.

I’m still petrified that I’ll die alone: I can’t imagine that leaving Harley didn’t hurt Hazel at least a little bit. It was the right decision surely — she’ll never think or believe otherwise — but now she’s grown up. I think that she wants Harley to be in her life because she loved them once, partly, not wholly, but as the connection says, Hazel doesn’t know where Harley is meant to fit. I think it would be really interesting to have them reunite and discover who she is now. Though Harley knew herself then, I’m sure she’s changed. I want Hazel to learn that, and I want her to reintroduce herself to her. It would start with a “ Hi, I’m Hazel, ” and it’d be a little shy and a little hesitant, but she’s open to possibilities. She isn’t as closed off as she once was. I really think Hazel needs to figure out where Harley fits, or, and hear me out, where she doesn’t fit. I don’t know if Hazel ever felt true closure from where they left each other before, but maybe she can find it. Whether it’s them together or not, it’s something she’ll work to figure out.

Ok I feel the need to say that obviously it would depend on the Harley writer and myself on whether or not they get back together and also their chemistry ???? okay but so: If they get back together, I think Hazel will definitely feel more pulled into the world of the Capulets and Montagues. I feel like I should state that, one, she would be incredibly glad to be with Harley again, and she would fall in love again, which leads to a very happy mindset and lifestyle, but the most heavy impact it would have on her life is for sure  the one it would have on her role with the Capulets and Montagues. Honestly, right now, she doesn’t want to be involved. That’s the end goal. The only thing keeping her with the Montagues right now is her debt. Once she has it paid off entirely, there’s really no reason to keep working with them. I mean, besides money, but I digress. She wouldn’t plan to work for either. She could be pressed / convinced into it. However, regarding the Capulets, she wouldn’t want to put Harley in a difficult position were she still working with the Montagues when they got back together. Can she quit ? Probably not ! Would she try ? Yes ! Maybe she’d offer to assist the Capulets in some way to make it equal. In her mind, it would work. Harley: come work for the Capulets. I’m loyal to them. There’s some safety in Verona with an allegiance Hazel: Good point I think if Harley asked her to, she wouldn’t say no, not right away It would take time to make a decision, and she would definitely think about it ( not just an hour, but days, maybe a week ? ) She would be conflicted between her strength and resolve towards herself but also her loyalty towards Harley If they don’t get back together, I do think Hazel will be sad, but not cripplingly so. She would be the first person to say she isn’t the same as she was a year ago, let alone however long it was ago that her and Harley were together. I think it would loosen a tie between her and the Capulets, if there was one, but also loosen the tie between her and Verona. I sort of see it ( them not being together ) as a reason not to stay. It would cement to her that she wasn’t the person who fell in love with Harley. She’s different, she’s someone new. And that’s not a bad thing. I think it would be almost a relief actually, to know that she's changed. I would hope that they’d still be friends and would get to know each other for who they are now. Hazel wants to be excited for who she is now and what all that she believes in.

I’m still petrified of going broke: Hazel never imagined being in crippling debt, not to a college in the United States, and definitely not to a bank controlled by a mob in Italy. But here she is. This is her life. Is it worth it to stay ? What if she ran home to her parents, embracing their help and their charity until she found her footing once again ? She could do it. Would Verona follow ? She doesn’t think so. But guilt would. She made her bed, shouldn’t she lie in it ? Maybe running wouldn’t do any good, so maybe she should find purpose in Verona. It could start with a job. It could continue with getting out of debt and earning her freedom once more. Then, she could further repent beyond confession with charity and good deeds. Maybe she can set themselves on a godly path once more someway somehow.

To stay: I think Hazel wants to stay because it’s new. It’s beautiful and freeing to be so independent. She’s learning about the world, about herself, and, importantly, she feels closer to God here. She’d have more reason to stay if she had Harley, she’d have more reason to stay if she became better friends with those she’s found friendship ( acquaintanceship ? ) with. Felipe: You don’t forge documents for someone without at least feeling a little loyal to them ! I imagine Hazel is keen to remain in touch with them, to know they’re safe. Also, she told her whole life story to him. If that doesn’t add up to friendship ( in her mind, at least ), then what does ? Ajax: Listen. I just have thoughts about these too. They could become BEST FRIENDS. Obviously, that’s Hazel with her rose-colored glasses talking through me. I just imagine she feels close to him ( with him viewing her as a sister-like figure, I imagine it’s reciprocal ). Also please note that above I said Hazel wants to stay. Despite her debt and moral quandaries, she still wants to be in Italy. That’s how she’s feeling right now. I think staying will impact her self-confidence. She is enough. She is strong and brave in ways she never quite imagined. I think she’ll discover more about humans, the longer she stays in Verona ; rather, she’ll learn more about their particularities and peculiarities — who they are, their beliefs, their loyalties. That’s something that struck me particularly about Hazel, she’s always learning and she’s eager to do so, not just about herself but the world and the people in it, too. To not stay, in no particular order: there’s a war between the Capulets and Montagues going on and she’s somehow gotten involved. She’s in debt. Her ex is here. I think if she got hurt, saw someone get hurt, or knew someone closely who got hurt, she might be convinced to leave. Harm isn’t something she wants to be around. She doesn’t want it to happen to her and she doesn’t want to see someone be affected. Ultimately, though, it boils down to fear. If she’s scared of her life being at risk, she might consider it time to flee. I think this would ultimately cause her to shelter herself further. She’ll seek the familiar, her family and childhood home, perhaps, or somewhere with a heavily-religious population. Either way, she’ll fall back on her faith and the familiar, finding comfort in what she already knows, trusts, and believes in.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? |

What is life without a little risk ? Kill her if you have to. Let’s go for maximum angst and maximum pain. IN DEPTH

What is your favorite place in Verona?

The cathedral and its pews seemed awfully lonely and awfully cold, and Hazel wondered if one without god in their hearts would simply freeze if they stepped inside. It seemed foolish to wonder such a thing, but the cathedral was such a sacred and holy place. What good came to outsiders who stepped inside ? To come there was to seek God. It had to be for that purpose and that only. “ I found the Cathedral in my first days here — but saying it like that makes it seem like I wasn’t aware of it before I moved. ” Her head was tilted askew, her eyes not upon whom she spoke to, instead stuck on the multicolored panes of the stained glass windows. “ It was one of my reasons I chose Verona, actually. I — I needed a place I knew I’d be able to find God. ”

There was something that felt like home in a church. Hazel had never much enjoyed labeling a place as such, but the wooden pews were as familiar as her father, the velvet kneelers soft and comforting as her mother’s hand on her cheek. She’s staring down at her feet now, half-embarrassed and half feeling like she’s revealing her inner soul. “ This — it’s unlike the church I grew up in in a thousand ways, but I still know what to expect here. I know the prayers and the rites, the taste of communion on my tongue. I come here and find the familiar when I’m feeling lost. ”

What does your typical day look like? “ It’s really not that interesting, I’ll have you know. ” She shrugged her shoulders, brows raised, fingers reaching up to push long strands of hair behind her ears. “ I wake up when the sun peeks through my window and I eat breakfast. Usually coffee and a bread of some sort. I’m a real sucker for a good cornetto, honestly. ”

“ I’m a morning person so I try to get as much done before noon, otherwise I consider the day to be a wash. I — I have a lot of papers to work on. ” She doesn’t elaborate, nor does she plan to. The papers, the forgeries, take up so much of her time and effort. She has to be perfect and precise with them, fear of what would happen if she wasn’t has gripped her so strongly that she’s woken in the middle of the night with a cold sweat slicking her body. “ I can get lost in my work. I guess I can be a bit of a perfectionist. ”

She nodded to herself, thinking of what comes next. Her eyes flicked towards the window, towards the people below. For a second, she’s lost in her staring. She couldn’t help but think that people-watching was becoming a lost art. “ I like having my afternoons open to wander and explore. I’m still getting to know the city, and just when I think I’ve got it all figured out, I find something new. It’s beautiful and historic. A marvel. ” Her words had turned airy and distant ; her body was there but her mind was somewhere else. “ I didn’t think moving to Verona would involve me working so much. ” She snorted a laugh despite herself. “ I had to invest in a better pair of sneakers a week in, my old ones were falling apart. ”

“ I usually go to church every day, too, if not every other day. It’s a chance to think and check in with myself. With God.”

Again, she’s shrugging. “ It’s not exciting, okay ? I’m not — exciting. I never have been. I don’t think I’d want to be either ? ”

Silence hung.

“ I call my parents in the evening. It’s afternoon back in Colorado. Usually I can catch them in their free time. Then it’s dinner. Then bed by nine. ”

She feels like she’s being judged. She doesn’t like it.

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

A loaded question. Does it mean since coming to Verona or within her entire life ? Her mind is reeling with possibilities of answers. She thinks of a beautiful girl she couldn’t give her heart to. She thinks of the Montagues, who she’s ended up helping in return for paid debts. One seems like the obvious answer, bigger than the other.

Her heart says otherwise.

“ I hurt a girl who didn’t deserve it. ” Her lip curls with self-disgust. “ I couldn’t not do what I did, but that doesn’t mean I wanted to hurt her. If I could have done it gentler I would have, but hearts ache. It’s what they’re meant to do. There was no avoiding it. ”

She rests her head in her hands and talk through her fingers.

“ I don’t like hurting people. It doesn’t feel good. ”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

This — this — is the easiest question asked. There is no doubt in Hazel’s mind when she answers. “ If there is a gun pointed at me when I’m told to do something, that goes to the top of the list. ” She leans back in her chair, her arms folded across her chest. It’s such a loaded question. How could they expect her to say anything else ? “ It’s like this. I’m good at forging things. I have to do it. This added pressure, though, it makes me feel like I’m drowning, okay ? I’ve never done it where so much was at stake, where it’s been my life on the line. ” Her jaw is clenched, trembling slightly. “ I just feel like I really played myself, you know ? I fell for a trick and into a trap, and the next thing I know is that I’m staring into the mouths of lions. ”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

Her face flushes as more time passes. She doesn’t like being considered ignorant, but as time passes and no words spill from parted lips, it’s clear that she doesn’t have much to say. “ I don’t know much about it. ” She speaks slowly and carefully, considering. “ All I know is that it scares me, and I’m on the precipice of falling into it. ” Isn’t she ? She’s forging for the Montagues. That makes her involved with one side of the war, if not both by association. Still, she wants to stay away from most of it, if she can. “ I don’t know what’s started it, and I know that hate and rage has kept it going. I’m scared of being touched by its bloodshed. No good can come from being involved. ”

Extras:

HEADCANONS

001. Of the few things she brought with her to Verona, very likely her dearest possession, is a pearl and crystal Holy Rosary she received after completing her confirmation from her parents.

002. She learned she had a penchant for forgeries in high school. It started with a signature missed from her parents. Her few friends caught on and asked for a few favors. It ended as quickly as it started, guilt eating at her core. But it always seemed to come back. In college, a doctor said they would fax over a note that would grant her an extension for certain assignments. When they didn’t, Hazel did it herself, making a pastiche out of old notes and documents from the practice. That wasn’t lying, was it ? It had meant to be done by the doctor anyway. But she was offered money a few more times when others found out what she could do. She always found herself feeling a pit in her stomach, deciding the possibility of being blackmailed if she said no was worse than the acts of fraud itself. She thought post-college that it would stop. No more trickery and fooling others. And then she ended up in Verona with debt weighing her down, letters sent to her asking for payments nearly everyday. She went to the bank with a letter, signed by the head of the bank itself, saying she had been granted an extension. Most didn’t bat an eye. It looked good, it looked real. Perhaps the extension was too generous because she was caught. Instead of pursuing legal options against her, an offer was laid at her feet. Make some forgeries, lose your debt. How could she say no ?

003. She has a favorite coffee shop just outside of the little apartment she’s living at. She goes there for breakfast. Sometimes she orders extra pastry to have them at home. She’s considered asking for a job there. Something real. Something legal. Something with low risk.

004. She calls her mother frequently. To not worry her, she says everything is fine, just dandy and golden. It’s a white lie, the teensiest of things, but it’s to her parents. Surely God would understand that she wishes to not stress them out.

PINTEREST BOARD

#accepted: hermia #accepted

[holy-mountaineering]

This spread is for @coldestcaress

Here’s the full Qabalistic Tree of Life Spread that I do and here you are. What I’m going to do is go through and briefly explain each card, its position on the Tree, and then I’ll give you a summary/synopsis of the spread as a whole. You know the routine.

Think of this spread as a sort of quantum map, or even the land of a regular map, everything is happening at once, in each place. It’s important to think of yourself as moving “through” the map but you are also simultaneously everywhere at once. For the sake of this specific experiment, think of this as a map. Maybe as a person, the Qabalistic Adam Kadmon.

Where we’re starting the journey from is Kether, the monad, the first sign of creation. We’ll call this your hometown, since it is where you’re from originally. Here we have the 2 of Disks, Change. 

This is the old saying, “The only constant is change.” This is finding stability in the aforementioned changing. In other words, when stuff gets different, strap in and hold on, steady yourself, and get ready to go into the unknown. Look a bit before you leap but understand that position is king, not appearances. You’re building toward the unknown and pretending to know is not the kind of posturing you should bother with. Not looking for the result of the change, being in the motion, and enjoying, embracing the motion toward the unknown is where you should position yourself. 

Disks are Earth, matter, the material world, your everyday life and 2s are the suit trying to formulate into something from the rawness of the Aces or the beginning of the idea of Earth. Astrologically, the influential and expanding Jupiter is in the highs and lows of the Goat-Fish Capricorn, think rollercoaster, possibly one that goes underwater. And like rollercoasters, they’re scary but probably not going to be the cause of your death. Unless they go underwater, that sounds dangerous. This is a great time to be aware that you’re moving around and kind of always will be. Enjoy the twists and turns of the ride and don’t stress yourself about how and when it will end.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of  your hometown is the 8 of Wands, Swiftness.

This is the idea that a huge fire can burn a city down but harnessed it can power a city. The idea here is of the atom harnessed not to destroy but to produce great and beneficial energy, like a power plant. The wands on the 8 have turned to electricity, the light a rainbow. 

Harness your actions into the most efficient and useful manner, energize (Sagittarius) your intellect (Mercury).
 If you’re having trouble with what you’re trying to accomplish, look at it through a ”new lense” that splits the light and makes it more visible.

In Binah, which is ruled by Saturn and for the sake of this reading we will call the first stop on your roadtrip. You haven’t really arrived anywhere but you’re stopping and getting a chance to repack your car in a more efficient way. Sitting in Binah is the super duper fun 10 of Swords (mental and communicative) Ruin. 

Astrologically, this is Sol the Sun or your center being split by the duality of Gemini or duplicity. This is like making a decision by not making one. Your intellect is collapsing in on itself due to building duality or otherness conflicting with how you think of you. This is being “of two minds” but they duo doesn’t seem to work together very well. The good news is that they’re damn near done working together at all. 10s are the highest number card or as intense as it gets. 

Try to integrate your splitting and increasingly destructive thinking and/or communicating, make meaning out of this chaos. And hey, don’t worry, it’s peaked and now you have to slide down the mountain of crazy you just climbed.

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is a previously discussed card this evening, XVII The Star, Heh, Aquarius.

Despite its name making me think of water, Aquarius is an air sign. Aquarius the water-bearer is the vehicle for the water she is baring. The life giving water flows through her. It has been said that “Tzaddi is not the Star” and Crowley made it so in the Thoth deck. There is a mystery in this attribution of the Hebrew letter to this Tarot card that I will not go into. 

I read this card called the “Universal Principle of Self-Worth” or trusting yourself as the vehicle of transmission. Her gaze is toward her reflection in the cup above her and she is pouring through herself to the areas below herself.

Trust that you’re a worthy conduit to transmit what nourishes life. Trust that your shit is real and who you are makes you capable. That which is above wishes to come below through you.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is the seat of your pants, the Prince of Wands, the airy part of Fire.

This is thinking about what you’re doing while you’re doing it. This is an “on the job training” experience. You’re in the midst of or have hurled yourself into an action that you have to be mindful of while you’re doing it.

Learn about what is going on in your life and your actions by paying attention while you’re moving along and accomplishing things. You might not have time to take it all in right now, but it is time to do the damn thing while the damn thing is happening.

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is the 6 of Wands, Victory. 

This is organizing each action to interact with another to create friction at the intersections. 6s are like the idealized form of each of the suits, in this case FIRE or action, movement. Victory is achieved through strong organization. Here the strands come together to form the rope you pull yourself up with. Each piece is strong on it’s own but when you twist them together correctly you have a much better tool. 

Don’t do isolated things, use each action to build on your goals.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is VI The Lovers. 

These Lovers aren’t about romantic love as much as it is the ‘Love unites the divided.’ This is the ceremony part of the alchemical wedding or the announcement of the intention to dissolve duality. Coagula.

All inverse and adverse elements of the card are brought together under the blessing of the Initiator who is giving the sign of the enterer. This is to say he is blessing your entering into this union of your shadow and conscious self.

You have some work to do on making a more unified you. There are issues that once brought together and balanced make more sense. Bring opposites or aspects of yourself you’re not familiar with/comfortable with together in your life to make a more complete whole. Set intention to do this, maybe even formally.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is the Ace of Wands, The root power or source of Fire, action, motion. 

The Ace of Wands or Fire is the big bang of impetus to action, every other motion afterward is spawned from that moment. In practical terms this is the initial event or action that in it’s uncontrolled state causes a series of reactions. The first drive toward an end or event, the force that sets things in motion. The explosion that brings things to life might be a really messy ordeal. This is all the subtlety of a burning baseball bat with ten flames for nails. Regardless of the problem of stagnant things getting burnt, the Ace of Wands causes shit to happen and Will to drive forward. Remember that this is a tool, the Wand of the Magus and should only be profaned in useful and/or hilarious ways. You wouldn’t use a flaming baseball bat to get a moth off of your curtains (probably) and so the Ace of Fire can also be related to brute force or overreaching the necessary force.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is the 3 of Cups, Abundance.

Like all 3s this is the first shape (triangle) the suit takes, in this case Water or emotion, intuition, and connectedness to life. This card is about taking care of your basic emotional shit that connects you to other people in your relationships so that you might build and move on intelligently. The intelligence and communicative abilities of Mercury are in the maternal and intuitive Cancer.

Try to put some basic form to how you’re feeling right now. Don’t focus on a finished product like healing every relationship you’ve ever had, just start putting it together the most basic way you can so you can move forward in a new and more complete place.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is the 9 of Cups, Happiness. 

I call this ‘mutually beneficial relationships’ or expanding influence (Jupiter) going or being pulled both ways (Pisces). Each cup has its own source but everything is flowing into each other down to the base of the 3x3 structure. There is a lot of water and all it represents and it hasn’t reached its peak yet and is still driving upward and outward.

Cultivate relationships and connective feelings that aren’t lopsided or just giving/taking. Keep building  you’re not done yet.

SO, short version is, you’re going through an undeniable real life “shit’s getting different” change and you have the opportunity to use the energy collected from this change to really get shit done and power those projects you’re working on. Here’s a piece of advice: instead of organizing your mind around the ruin and everything that’s gone wrong lately, get you mind ready for the come down from all the fuckery. The dumb shit has reached its end and now it’s time to trust yourself and that you’ve pulled through.

Now, what you’re going to be doing from here on out is figuring it the fuck out while it happens. You again are going to have some great opportunities arise to power through what you’re trying to accomplish but it is crucial that everything you do, each action you take is building into the “master plan” which you’re gunna both need and figure out if you just take your foot off the brakes and trust that you know what you’re doing.

None of this is just for the sake of you doing it, by the way. You’re working on a more complete you and that’s going to require a bit of dedication to yourself and to this whole you. The parts of you that you’re trying to maybe get away from really just need to be accepted and integrated into you. Ya are who ya are and no amount of ignoring it will change it. Marry yourself, love that uncomfortable place and bring it in. 

And to further a point, DOOOOOO. Your thought process as well as what you’re communicating to the world should be focused on WHAT you’re DOING, not anything else. This period of your life is for acting, doing, and going. That being said, you’re gunna have some feelings and need to be around folks that make you feel at least basically emotionally secure. Nothing is going to get in your way more than disrupted feelings and being around dysfunctional people and interpersonal relationships with that mess. You should work on cultivating relationships that are reciprocal right now, especially networking with folks to help you accomplish all this cool shit you’re about to do! 

Ta Da! Hit me up with any questions, comments, or concerns!

-Frater N0ught

#tarot card spreads #magick #divination #cartomancy #occult #altars

[crqstalite]

A YEAR IN REVIEW: 2019.

Oh wow it’s two hours to midnight. I’m about to enter my fifteenth year of existence and second decade turn I’ve been alive to witness. Guess it’s time for my first annual year in review of fanfiction <3

WORD COUNT:

This year in total I wrote 150,065 words! Not even including the fanfictions I wrote for other fandoms throughout the year. This was all in a few months too. Damn, can’t wait to see where 2020 takes me if this is my writing prowess now.

The Breakdown:

Bloodlines took the cake at 71,593 words. Makes sense, I wrote that first and actually had it going a bit before I got the idea for Shadow of the Sith. It’s not obsolete just yet, but is currently on hiatus. Still one of my most written for projects. Means I’d been working on that since August. Startinglingly, the latest chapter was in October. That means that whole endeavor took two months to write 71.5k.

Shadow of the Sith is close behind at 47,995 words. With how I went from writing 2k word chapters to the latest being 7k words, it’s valid how the number jumps so much chapter-to-chapter. This one I’ve been working on since early November, and the most recent one was added today. That’s a month and some days worth of writing 48k words guys :0.

The Heritage prompts roll in at 15,657 words. I posted rather sporadically for this because most ended up being abandoned oneshots while I worked on Bloodlines and later, Shadow of the Sith. Still, it’s nothing to sneeze at and I’m rather proud of the work I put in.

The Made of Star Dust universe is at a haughty 11,777. Given this was written long before I’d even gotten the privelege to play Shadow of Revan, so some stuff is inaccurate but other than that a very ambitious project that I intend to pick up at some point. For now, it remains on hiatus.

The oneshots round us out at 3,043. This includes Hierarchy for the time being because it consists of a Khaak/Lana oneshot and that’s it. Not disappointed here, and I’m rather happy it even reached that. 

NEW THINGS I TRIED.

I tried Star Wars the Old Republic out again, and obviously I flourished here. The community is so kind and compassionate, not to mention inspiring. I tried out the Jedi Consular storyline, fell asleep halfway through, and then my Consular was the Barsen’thor.

Oh you mean writing wise.

I definitely extended my writing. My word counts shot up this year from 500 words in 2018 to 8k words just a week or so ago. I’ve improved my storytelling to include characters and personalities I’ve never encompassed before. Took my hand at writing more romance, and successfully.

I visited the TrollHunters fandom for a period of time and rather enjoyed it, I have one 8k fic going on it’s fourth month on hiatus on my AO3 page. I joined my first actual hate for a show and that materialized in Voltron: Legendary Defender.

I joined AO3. Didn’t find immediate success but I found some of my favorite authors there. My account is here: euphoria_starrs.

I joined tumblr for the first time. Had never experienced it before but now it’s my main media. Other than the problematic side of tumblr, I like the people here.

FAVORITE THING I WROTE THIS YEAR.

Definitely Shadow of the Sith. I accomplished so much with it already and it’s not even near done but people enjoy it, and it’s been one of the biggest succesful endeavors I’ve ever done. Thanks for taking time to read it guys <3

FAVORITE FIC I READ THIS YEAR.

*Takes a deep breath* Well here we go I guess.

@cavalier-life‘s Collateral Damages. It’s so artfully written, and for a ship I definitely didn’t think I’d grow to love as much as I do now. The characterization is beautiful, and the conflicts are real and believable. I adore Selirah with my whole heart, thank so much for writing it! Have definitely binged chapters repeatedly until the words are swimming on the page at two in the morning.

@cinlat‘s...whole library. Particularily Howl In the Night (I intend to get to reading Heart on a Trigger, just haven’t had the time yet) because of the untouched territory it delves into. I love the way you handled the story, and it’s truly heartbreaking at the end. Your oneshots are to die for as well. But Our Own pulled at my heartstrings. I’d lie if I didn’t say I was rooting for Nahir the whole time.

@melissagt‘s Not Afraid Anymore. I think I already commented on it but I’ll do it again. Yet another ship I didn’t think I’d sail but as I got deeper and deeper into Andronikos, Theron and Lelu’s relationship I just let the sail go. I love the story and how they get accustomed to each other and just how gritty it is. I definitely stayed up late at night to finish reading it.

@lumielles​‘s Guilt By Association, Outlander Day and Need a Minute. I haven’t had the time to read much more of Idan’s story, but Aramys and Theron break my heart with every oneshot and story of yours I read. I love it because it’s so tasteful, and absolutely bittersweet at the best of times. I look forward to learning more about this family :)

@greencrusader13​‘s All Were Innocent Once. I adore this story because it was one of the first ones I read in the fandom, and it was beautiful. Cirak and Tyar are such three-dimensional characters, and I can’t wait to learn more about the others present. 

Any others I found but for those who don’t have tumblr accounts can be found on my Fic Recs Page. Flirting With Desire (Sirius Ordo), and Someone To Fight For (Bamfbugboy) always tear at my heartstrings whenever I read them. If ya’ll like to cry, here they are.

WRITING GOALS FOR 2020.

1. Definitely finish Shadow of the Sith. Mellena and Theron’s story desperately needs to be told, and I will go down with this ship! There are a bunch of other characters worthy of their chapters in here as well, and I really want to write for Knights. Just have to get through Shadow of Revan and Ziost and we’re in the clear.

2. Start Shan. You guys are so infatuated with this post that I figure it deserves to be written. I was going to anyways, but goddamn ya’ll are still reposting it so I’ll see if I can do the plot justice. Currently, the PC is a sith inquisitor named Liv but that could change soon.

3. Finish Bloodlines? I’m not sure if anyone’s particularily enjoying it, but I started it so I’ll finish it. I think. Maybe.

4. Start love interest specific stories. I tend to meander into whole stories of a bunch of OCs and their love interests (see: Bloodlines/Shadow of the Sith), but in 2020 I think I’ll try to appeal to smaller fanbases with certain stories. I’m looking at writing a Mandalorian-centric Ba’shira/Torian fic, a slight rewrite of the Trooper story for Hakiojkl/Aric, a Sith-centric one for Lana/Khaak, a shorter one for a currently unnamed female Sith Warrior/Pierce, shorter one for a currently unnamed female Sith Inquisitor/Andronikos, short one for Bisauur/Zenith and a short one for Naji/Felix. Maybe one for Koth, but goddamn there isn’t a signal fic I can find on him.

5. Write Bad Girls Club. I don’t know why I made this a thing, but goddamn it’s a thing now and I love it. Kind of love the idea of some younger female bounty hunters running around the galaxy and causing chaos.

6. Possibly write a Theron/Outlander/Lana story. Why? I’m not sure but no one has done it yet and with the chemistry Theron and Lana have in-game already plus the chemistry they have as friends if you romance them can’t be easily passed up. Not high on my list of priorities, but it shall be done.

WORD OF THANKS.

My thanks goes out to this list of wonderful people:

@the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond​, @greencrusader13​, @oakstar519​, @a-muirehen​, @shabre-legacy​, @starstrucknerdbatkid​, @swtorpadawan​, @elaphaemourra​, @theherooftython​, @anchanted-one​, @sheyshen​, @roguescarlett​, @insufficient-focus​, Dragonheart on Discord, Sidhe Vicious and Necril on Discord!! You guys are so great for believing in little 14 year old me and taking a chance on roleplaying with me and reading my fics. You’re so appreciated <3

HAPPY NEW YEAR, AND GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEW ENDEAVORS!

#happy new year #2020 #new year #2019 #year in review #reflections