#gym bor

[whosagodnow]

#guy selfie #track pants #gym bor #cute smile #young muscle

[gogoxoxo]

#academia #gymspiration #gym #gymlover #little witch academia #dark academia #exercise #tumblr #sad #borring

[dirtybandaids]

#favourite #bucket list time #nobody cares but i think this will be fun #i didnt add the boring stuff like “go to the gym” or “be better in school” because its borring #ive still gotta do it but #this the fun stuff

[maxiroff]

Truth or dare ~Wanda Maximoff

Summary: Truth and dare leads to unexpected questions and unexpected answers. You show Wanda what true pleasure is really like.

Paring: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Words: 3711

Warnings: Smut, fingering

Note: English is not my first language and I have not proofread this so there may be some errors.

Once the party started to die down you, Natasha, Wanda and Carol decided to move up to your shared floor. You and Natasha were spread out on the sofa while Wanda and Carol sat in the armchairs in front of you. Both empty and full beer bottles filled the table in between you. While Starks parties more often than not doesn't have a reason, this one actually did. It was to celebrate that Carol was back on earth and that Wanda finally became an official member of the team.

The drinks had started to get to you all and you wanted to keep the party going between you after everyone left. That's how you started playing truth or dare but with a twist. You could not say no. “Truth or dare Y/N?” said Carol while taking a sip of her drink. “Truth” the grin on her face told you that it was exactly the answer she wanted. “What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you during sex.” The moment she said those words Natasha started laughing her ass off.

“Why are you laughing Nat?” said Wanda with a confused look. “Well lets just say I was there.” “You were?” Wanda said, questioning. You decided to butt in before Natasha could exaggerate the story. “Okay here's what happens. I happened to have ehh, a friends with benefits with one of the recruits we were training, Lucy. We happened to have the gym to ourselves and we took advantage of that. I was standing up and had her sitting on my shoulders, leaning her against the wall while I was fingering her and eating her out. Right as she was about to go over the edge Natasha walked through the door. Of course we didn't notice because Lucy's moaning was so loud so Nat witnessed the whole thing.”

“Damn, was it hot?” Of course it would be Carol who asked such a question. “Carol, you can't ask that.” Wanda said. “Yeah, Yeah it doesn't matter.” she responded. “Okay since you asked me, it's my turn now.” Considering Wanda had never been asked before, and you simply wanted to know, you decided to ask her. “Wanda” her name being said got her attention and she turned to you. “Yes” “Truth or dare?” “Truth” she said with a slight hesitation.

“I know you and Vision were together before, how many orgasms did he give you in one session?” Her cheek immediately reddened at the question and she suddenly thought the floor was very interesting. “He um-” she cleared her throat “He didn't really give me any.” Her body language showed that she was either embarrassed or nervous, her eyebrows were furrowed and she was plucking at her nailbands while she told us the answer.

Her answer didn't make any sense though. They had gotten together shortly after they both joined the team and they only broke up a few months ago. The time they had been together was torture. Remembering all the times they sat snuggled up together on the sofa, giggling and disturbing the team's movie nights. The jealousy had burned through you. You could treat her so much better than he did, he’s a robot bor fucks sake. You had never felt such relief as you did the day you found out they broke up.

“I’m sorry but you're gonna have to make that make sense to us. You were together for like six months, you have to have done something during that time.” While this seemed like normal talk between you, Natasha and Carol, Wanda had never felt more uncomfortable in her life. She was a shy person and would rather keep her romantic life privat. But with all eyes on her she almost felt obliged to answer your question.

“Well he always, you know, finished quite fast and I didnt want him to feel bad about not being able to satisfy me so I just faked it.” Her answer did not surprise you. Once again hes a fucking robot, he probably had a vibranium dick that was smaller than my finger. Could he even feel pleasure and cum like a real person if he is made out of metal.

“What, so he just believed you all that time and you had to finish yourself off.” Natasha’s voice sounded judging, seeing the look on her face she probably was judging her.

Wanda could feel her cheeks redden even more when she thought of the times where she was left unsatisfied by both Vision and her inexperienced hands. To be right at the edge but not able to get over it, to never experience real pleasure. Of course it was embarrassing to admit out loud, especially to you who she admired and liked in a not so friendly way.

She already felt embarrassed enough but the alcohol made her spill her secrets away. With her arms tightly wrapped around her legs the words flew out quietly. “Um no I never really knew what to do so I never got myself there.” She made the mistake of looking up and seeing the shocked look upon all your faces. She never thought she would feel this bad about being inexperienced.

When you saw how uncomfortable she was at the topic you decided to end her misery. “Okej, we are moving on. Wanda your turn.” “Okej Natasha, truth or dare”

With Nat knowing Wanda would choose something vanilla she decided that dare was a safe bet. “Okej, I dare you to sit in Carol’s lap for the rest of the game.” Maybe she’s not that vanilla after all.

Neither Nat nor Carol complained as Natasha happily made herself comfortable in Carol's lap, wiggling her ass as she sat down. “Now it's finally my turn.” She said as she looked mischievously between you and Wanda. Natasha knew of your longtime crush on Wanda and had been waiting for an opportunity to play matchmaker, she was not about to let it go to waste. “Y/N, truth or dare”

“Dare” You said as you lifted your drink to your lips, what's life without a little excitement. Unfortunately you knew you made the wrong choice as Natashas smirk grew a hundred times bigger. “I dare you to give Wanda her first ever orgasm.”

Wanda's eyes almost popped out of her head in surprise, while you choked on your drink. “I’m sorry WHAT!” Telling Nat about your crush was obviously a mistake and if looks could kill she wouldn’t even be 6ft under ground, she would be a 100ft. “You heard me” This fucking bitch. She was enjoying everything that was happening.

Wanda however did not. She was panicking and didn't know what to feel about the situation. This may have not been a big deal for you but it was for her. She wanted to be with you in every type of way, but not because of a dare. She wanted you to be her “first” and this however, may be the only chance she would get. In the spur of the moment that was enough. Even though she was terrified, her mind was made up.

“Okej” Hearing her agree to do this may have surprised you even more than Natasha asking the question. “What, are you really sure about this Wands?” She didn't know if the surprised look on your face was a good or bad sign and doubt began filling her mind. But then again, her mind was made up. “Yes, I am.”

“Okay then” You stood up from your seat and made your way towards Wanda and held out your hand towards her. She followed through and put her hand in yours and stood up making the space between you only a few inches. Looking at her face you could see her face held a determined look, but her eyes showed something else. She was nervous.

In an attempt to ease her nerves you softly squeeze her hand. The gesture brought warmth to Wanda making her release a shuddering breath and her shoulders lowering in relaxation. “Can we go to my room”

“Yes, of course” You said as you led her hand in hand towards her room. Being that it was only a few doors down it didn't take too long. You let her hand go as you opened the door letting her walk in first. When you followed you closed the door behind you, making sure to lock it.

Turning around you saw Wanda standing in the middle of the room, picking on her nails and cuticles, a clear sign she felt unsure of what was happening. Wanting to stop her from picking her skin you slowly took each hand in your own, bringing her attention back to you once again. “I want to know that if anything we do is making you uncomfortable and you want to stop or slow down, for any reason, just tell me and we will.” You slowly bring her in your arms and hold her tight, her smaller frame being embraced by your own. “I always want you to feel safe with me.”

The feeling of you being wrapped around her and your warm breath on her neck when you whispered in her ear brought a warm feeling in her stomach. She didn't know where the courage to place one hand on your neck and the other on your hip came from. Nor where it came from when she softly pressed her lips behind your ear. “I already do.”

Her surprisingly bold actions were easily turning you on. The feeling of her soft, plump lips on your neck made your hands move lower bringing her hips to your own. Holding her tightly you slipped your thigh between her legs and made her grind down.

Her skirt rode up at the motion and you heard her gasp as she felt the pleasure strike through her. While you kept up the movement you kissed her neck in various places searching for her most sensitive spots. Beginning with slow open-mouth kisses pressed gently to her skin, making her feel all the right sensations before sucking lightly. And when you felt it to be the right time you carefully bit her skin.

It took Wanda by surprise and with the combined pressure from your thigh between her legs she couldn't hold back the moan that slipped from her throat. She hid her head in your neck as her hands gripped onto you hard trying to steady herself.

Hearing her moan made you crave for more. Crave to have her under you, tasting her on your tongue and feel how wet she was. Hearing her moan and whine as she squirms and writhes in pleasure. Hear her scream when her walls squeeze your fingers when she cums.

Wanting to make your imaginations real you slowly push her backwards to her bed, making her lay down as you reach the edge. You slowly come on top of her till you come face to face with her looking deep into her eyes. While you kept eye contact, your hands found their way to the hem of her shirt and slowly crept up inside it. Her breath became heavier when she felt your hand make contact with her bare skin.

“Is it okay if I take this off?” You asked as you went from stroking the skin of her stomach to gripping the shirt. She answered by nodding her head. “That's not good enough Wanda, I need a verbal answer.” You said in a stern tone.

“Yes, it's okay if you take it off.” With that you slowly lifted the shirt above her head revealing more and more of her skin. When it was fully off you noticed that she had opted to not wear a bra. Her light brown nipples hardened from the change in temperature and you couldn't resist from cupping her breasts in your hands.

You looked deep in her eyes as you spoke softly “ Your beautiful Wanda.” Your words made her heart flutter as a blush spread upon her cheeks. Wanda had never felt so cherished before. The way you looked and spoke to her made her understand that you meant what you said, it wasn't something you said just because.

Being too shy to reply verbally she slowly connected her lips to your as a show of her appreciation. As your lips danced together she felt your hands starting to move, massaging her breasts and nipple. You mixed between softly stroking and lightly pinching her hardened buds. She whimpered into your mouth and she felt her arousal drip into her panties, slowly creating a dark spot.

As you had slipped your thigh between her legs yet again you could also feel the wet spot that was created. You detached your lips from hers, instead bringing open mouth kisses down her neck and collarbone until you reached her breasts. You removed one of your hands from their previous position, placing it on her hip instead.

Her whines from the loss were instantly quietened when you circled your tongue around her areola. You then dragged your tongue over her nipple and started to flick and suck on it. Her hand landed on your head, fingers threading through your hair to get a tight grip on it, holding you in place.

As your hand twisted and pinched her nipple you softly bit onto her other nipple with your teeth. As you raised your head, bringing her nipple with you, her back arched from the pained pleasure. Her legs clenched around your own, her hips desperately trying to grind against you.

A soft "Please" you heard come from her. “What do you want Wanda?” You asked when you change your mouth from her right breast to her left, doing the exact same thing as before.

“I want your fingers, please.” At the same time she told you what she wanted, her hand grabbed ahold of yours and guided it down to her panites. “Good girl.” You told her as you let go of her nipple. You started making your way down her stomach, leaving a trail of kisses after you. You were soon met with a pair of beautiful red lace panties. You could also clearly see the dark spot in the middle of them, showing off how aroused she really was.

“Is it okay if I take this off love?” You asked, softly looking up at her. “Yes, please.” She answered whilst nodding. You gripped both her skirt and panties at the same time, dragging them down her legs until they dropped down to the floor.

As you made your way up her body again you left a trail of wet kisses up her legs. When you came up to her thigh you started lightly biting, leaving bruises behind. Coming up to her pussy you placed a kiss right above her small patch of dark hair.

Her hips bucked at the motion and a quiet moan slipped past her throat. You parted her legs, moving to lay between them, coming face to face with her again. “Are you really sure that this is what you want Wands? I don’t want to do anything you're not comfortable with.”

“Yes, I promise I want this, I feel safe with you.” She said that she caressed your cheek. Her words almost brought tears to your eyes. To know that she trusts you fully with her body and her pleasure.

You pressed your lips to hers, dragging your tongue across her bottom lip asking for permission to enter. She opened her mouth, tangling her tongue with yours. You used her being distracted in the interment moment to bring your hand down to her pussy.

You dragged your whole hand from her clit to her weeping hole, gathering her arousal on your two middle fingers you dragged them back up to her clit. You rubbed circles around it, teasing her by never fully touching it directly. She grunted into your mouth in frustration, her hips bucking up into your hand seaking the friction she needed.

“If you want something you have to tell me Wanda.” You reminded her. Your words made her even more frustrated, couldn't you see that she just needed you. She needs you to make her cum, not to draw it out by teasing her. She barely had any control over her own body left, her hips were bucking wildly in need and her folds were puffy and sticky from all the arousal leaking out of her.

“Please, I just want you to make me cum.” She pleaded. You could see the desperation in her eyes, how they were glazed over, only focusing on you. You knew how much she needed this, you weren't blind. You however, also knew how much sweeter her first release would be with how worked up she was.

“It’s okay love, I’ll take care of you.” Your lips connected to hers yet again, you pressed down on her clit with your thumb, tracing her entrance before sinking into her with your middle- and ring finger. “Oh God.” Her back arched as you pumped your fingers inside of her. She was so wet you could hear sounds coming from her at every thrust.

Her nails dug into your back, leaving deep, red scratch marks, desperately wanting to have you as close as possible. She hid her head in your neck as a way of trying to quieten down her moans. “Don’t do that.” you whispered against her ear. “Don’t hide those lovely sounds from me.” You curled your fingers, making them hit the most pleasurable spot inside her. “I want to hear how good I make you feel.”

She couldn't hold back anymore. Nobody had ever made her feel as good as she felt now when your fingers repeatedly kept hitting her g-spot. Loud moans spilled from her mouth and you could feel how her walls clenched around your fingers.

With your thumb playing with her clit and your fingers working inside of her your hand began cramping. The angle was a bit awkward and you couldn't use the force that you wanted to.

When you attempted to move your hand into a better position Wanda's hand shot down to yours, desperately trying to keep you in place. She panicked when she felt you move, being so embarrassing close she was afraid you would stop before she was pushed over the edge. “No, please don’t stop. I haven’t finished yet. ” She said, looking up at you pleadingly.

“I know, don’t worry sweetheart.” You chuckled. “I’m just changing into a better position.” You pecked her lips, trying to reassure her further. You moved your hand so that your palm was pressed against her clit, making it easy for you to grind it against her as you yet again eased your finger in.

The act made Wanda relax and place her hand back around your neck. You picked up the pace making sure that your palm stimulated her clit at the same time. You knew she was close again from how her body started tensing. Her legs locked up around your arm and her grip tightened around you.

“Fuck you feel so good, I’m so close!” She moaned against you. “It’s okay, be a good girl and cum for me Wanda.” And she did. “Ohhhh” She let out an almost pornographic moan as her back arched and her whole body trembled. Her eyes shut tight at the utter pleasure that pulsed through her. You could feel her cum leaking out of her as you slowly brought her down from her orgasm.

“There you go, you did so good my love.” You slowly pulled your fingers out and started stroking her legs and her waist bringing her back in the moment with you. Her body slowly lowered back into the bed as she relaxed against you. You left a light trail of kisses from her shoulder up her neck and ended it with a kiss to her forehead. The mussels in her face instantly relaxed and she opened her eyes looking up at you.

“Hi” You smiled down at her. “Hi” She whispered back with a blush rising up her cheeks. “How are you feeling, are you okay?” You were afraid you maybe had taken things too far in the moment and that she would start to regret what you had done.

“Yes I’m okay, I promise. This was amazing. You are amazing.” She said as she stroked your cheek. The worry in your eyes was clear and she wanted you to know you didn’t do anything wrong. She could also feel the heat that rose to your face due to her compliment, not being used to it.

trying to hide it from her you connected your lips and dragged your tongue against her bottom one asking for entrance. Of course she granted it and swirled her tongue with yours. You took your time to just enjoy the moment and the efter bliss, only parting when air became an issue.

"Stay here I’m just gonna get a towel so I can clean you up.” She nodded and you left to go to the bathroom. When you came back with the damp towel you gently cleaned her between her legs and where you had dragged your hand as you were trying to calm her down. Wanda watched as you made sure not to leave any residue left.

When you were done you threw the towel towards the bathroom not wanting to depart from Wanda. “ Hey Wands, would you like to sleep here tonight?” Her being exhausted and on the verge of falling asleep wouldn't say no to that. “Yes please.”

You laid down besides her opening your arm allowing her to snuggle into you. Your legs ended up being tangled, your arms wrapped around each other and she used your shoulder as her pillow. “Thank you for doing this, good night.”

“Of course love.” “Ehh before you sleep, would it be okay if I took you on a proper date tomorrow?”. She tightened her grip on you and kissed your neck before whispering out “Yes I would love nothing more.” With that you both fell asleep happy and content in each other's arms.

#wanda x y/n #wanda smut #wanda x reader #bottom wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff smut #wanda fanfic

[cryptoagorism]

The dangers of the state's monopoly on identity

The state's monopoly on identity excludes vulnerable people from jobs, housing, healthcare and more.

This article originally began as a response to The Reboot's article, which discusses the dangers of perpetual tracking by Google, Facebook and Microsoft. [1]

While the tracking by Google, Facebook and Microsoft is definitely disturbing and can even put people in danger, the state's data economy is even worse, with far-reaching consequences. Few people talk about this, even though it affects millions of people's daily lives.

Via the government ID system, the state exerts a monopoly on identity and an obsession with tracking people from “birth certificate” to “death certificate”. Disproportionate KYC regulations actively exclude people without government-issued ID from necessary services, including jobs, housing and healthcare and even everyday things like online shopping, receiving mail, buying a sim card, doing volunteer work, taking classes, or visiting the gym or library.

Millions of people worldwide don't have access to government ID (the state refuses to print it for them) or can't show ID for safety reasons (e.g. they are a victim of abuse and don't want to be tracked down by the abuser). These people are often already in vulnerable situations (for example: stateless, undocumented or homeless people; activists, dissidents or refugees; victims of domestic abuse or adult victims of child abuse; or adults whose birth was not registered) and exclusion from basic needs makes it even more difficult to survive.

The state offers no alternatives nor solutions – if the state refuses to print a passport, national ID card or birth certificate for someone, this person can't appeal, get help from NGOs or lawyers, or find an alternative way to get ID. [2]

The state's system does not offer a procedure to register yourself, for example if you weren't registered at birth or your country of birth is dangerous to you. There are no steps you can take – no appeals, checklists, regularization, rehabilitation, special circumstances, friendly jurisdictions, nor identity issuer of last resort. You cannot earn access to ID via merit, vouches, oaths, good behavior, probation, community service, nor any other form of effort or compassion. Even if the individual would otherwise qualify for a skilled work, marriage or humanitarian visa and could provide a biometric photo and fingerprints, this is not enough.

Similarly, there are no non-state solutions. NGOs and religious organizations like the United Nations, Red Cross and Caritas don't issue alternative IDs; jurisdictional arbitrage such as Flag Theory requires an existing birth certificate or old passport; and non-government IDs from World Passport or Digitalcourage are not accepted. This lack of alternatives only cements the state's monopoly.

In the 1950s, the United Nations issued conventions on statelessness [3] and refugee status [4], but today countries still refuse to issue IDs for stateless people, people who weren't registered at birth, and people who have fled political, cultural or interpersonal persecution – whether by arbitrarily or discriminatorily denying applications for stateless status, refugee status or delayed birth registration, ignoring submitted applications, or not having a process for applications at all, while simultaneously criminalizing people without a legal identity. [5] In 2014, the UNHCR started a campaign to “end statelessness by 2024” [6], but today it is still impossible to get a stateless or non-citizen passport, and unlike the laissez-passer passports of the past, the United Nations no longer issues substitute IDs, despite that it could help millions of people to access necessities such as employment, housing and healthcare.

This condemns individuals purely and permanently to their circumstances of birth, which they could not influence and cannot change. As an adult, there is no way to enter the system. If you were born in the wrong place (e.g. stateless, refugee, dissident) and/or to the wrong people (e.g. child abuse, cult, no birth registration), there is no way to rise above your situation through effort, determination nor compassion.

The state's monopoly on identity is therefore an unethical, fatalistic single point of failure.

Even for individuals with ID, the name that the state prints on their ID may not correspond to the name that they use in real life, which could put them in danger. [7] Many countries restrict or even ban legal name changes, which endangers victims of abuse (such as adults who escaped from child abuse, domestic abuse, cults or gangs), who use a self-chosen name for a fresh start, to feel human, to recover from trauma or for physical safety reasons. [8]

As government ID is not universal and does not signify security or trust, government ID requirements only disproportionately and unfairly exclude people from services. [9]

Returning to the topic of “surveillance capitalism” – People can choose to stop using Google, Facebook, Windows or stock Android. There are many alternatives, such as DuckDuckGo, Mastodon, Linux and custom ROMs such as Lineage or Graphene. There are also ways to protect your privacy, such as reducing usage of social media, using a VPN or Tor, using a burner phone, using a pseudonym, or using cash or crypto instead of credit cards. [10]

In comparison, when the state coerces the vast majority of employers, landlords and hospitals to require government ID, there are only a few gray market alternatives left (e.g. under the table work, informal rentals for cash, doctors who accept out-of-pocket payments). [11]

It is a stark contrast: If you don't use Facebook for privacy reasons, you can still find different ways to keep in contact with friends and local events. If you can't rent most apartments because the landlord requires a passport or driver's license, you are very lucky if you can find a room in a shared apartment where your roommates deal with the contract for you and you pay rent to your roommates in cash. One thing can be an inconvenience, one thing can cause homelessness.

Many people believe government ID is the only way to trust that “someone is who they say they are”. [12] If someone admits that they don't have “proper ID”, they are often seen as untrustworthy, hiding something or even dangerous. [13] The equation of “ID = trust” not only leads to social stigma and exclusion, but can also lead to poverty and homelessness [14], threats of violence, or even indefinite detention (in many countries, cops can demand ID without a reason, and detain the individual until their legal identity is known – which can mean indefinite imprisonment for people who were never assigned a legal identity [15] [16]). Rather than “innocent until proven guilty”, this creates a situation of “guilty and no way to prove innocence”.

If innocence is not based on your actions, but purely on possession of government ID, it creates an impossible scenario when no jurisdiction agrees to print ID for you – from stateless people who literally have nowhere to go, to refugees who can't return to or interact with their country of birth for safety reasons, to adults whose births were never registered, to victims of child abuse, domestic abuse or cult abuse who don't use their birth name due to decades of trauma or worse the risk of being tracked down and returned. Instead of blaming authoritarian countries, uncooperative bureaucrats, abusive or neglectful birth parents, violent ex-partners or sociopathic cult leaders, the victim is blamed, distrusted and considered as a criminal.

In an ideal world, people would be judged on their actions and intent, rather than on circumstances of birth and decisions of bureaucrats. For housing, only your ability to pay rent would be relevant. For a job, only your skills and work ethic would be relevant. For healthcare, only your medical condition would be relevant (it would be against the Hippocratic Oath to deny medical treatment to people without ID, especially if they are paying out-of-pocket in cash).

For identity, it would be enough to say your name, get a vouch from a friend, landlord or employer, link to a social media profile, or use a non-government photo ID (such as from Digitalcourage or World Passport, which does not require birth registration or citizenship and allows self-chosen names).

For authentication, you would use a password or PIN (e.g. SMS code to pickup mail), physical key or card (e.g. mailbox keys, membership cards) or a cryptographic keypair (such as in PGP, Bitcoin or Monero).

For trust, word-of-mouth was the primary method before government IDs were invented (and made mandatory) in the 20th century. [17] [18] [19] Nowadays, word-of-mouth includes vouches from friends, online reviews, social networks, web-of-trust and memberships. Cash deposits and escrow systems (e.g. Bitrated) would protect against scams, theft or damage.

This meritocratic, non-government market is not theoretical. Permissionless free markets exist today – under the names of agorism [20], informal economies, black and gray markets, parallel economies and Second Realms – and offer hope and a means to survive to people in need. [21] [22] While NGOs have tried in vain to convince the state to print IDs for vulnerable people, these independent markets take a practical, grassroots approach to help people access work, housing and healthcare, even without government-issued ID. [23]

These free markets offer a way for people to take control of their situation. Human rights activists have campaigned since decades, while individuals have been left in limbo or excluded entirely from society, purely due to bureaucracy. In the 1950s, the United Nations called on nation-states to print IDs for stateless people, unregistered people and refugees – but seventy years later, the situation has only become worse, as more daily life necessities require government ID KYC every year, yet nation-states still refuse to print ID for millions of people.

Even worse, these people are not being accused of a specific crime and there is no real justification to deny printing IDs for them – their only “crime” is the vicious circle of not having papers because the state refuses to print papers for them. You would think economic exclusion – banned from employment, housing, healthcare, education, banking, travel, contracts, mail, sim cards and more – would be a punishment for only the most severe of crimes. But for stateless people, refugees, victims of abuse and people who weren't registered at birth, it is a punishment for being born. In this unforgiving situation, the informal economy provides an essential lifeline and way to survive.

Some examples include under-the-table work, informal apartment rentals, health clinics run by volunteers and anonymous sim cards. Most informal, agorist markets are local, based on word-of-mouth with cash-in-hand payments. The internet can also offer a place for an uncensored digital economy – such as for global trade [24], remote work, activism, fundraising [25] and community building – while cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin and Monero offer a way to send and receive money online without government ID or a bank account [26] [27] and withdraw to local cash when needed [28].

There are many reasons why people participate in agorist markets. It can be quicker and easier to rent out your spare room for cash, pay a doctor out-of-pocket instead of dealing with public health insurance, or hire an online freelancer for crypto. Bureaucracy doesn't just shut people out of the market, it also takes time and money to fill out forms, deal with months-long wait times, pay extortionate fees, and apply for government permission (which may be denied for arbitrary or discriminatory reasons). Agorism cuts the red tape, enabling people to access what they need in a truly free market.

As the state continues to ostracize and even criminalize vulnerable people, agorism provides not only hope of inclusion and equal opportunities, but a practical, proven solution which works today. For universal and safe access to daily needs such as employment, housing and healthcare, it is important to build and use agorist markets that are immune to the state's monopoly on identity, invisible to the state's data economy, and free for everyone to use.

The following books, articles and podcasts provide more information about agorism, as well as practical examples:

“An Agorist Primer” by SEK3 Book: https://kopubco.com/pdf/An_Agorist_Primer_by_SEK3.pdf

“Second Realm: Book on Strategy” by Smuggler & XYZ Book: https://ia801807.us.archive.org/34/items/second-realm-digital/Second%20Realm%20Paperback%20New.pdf

“Crypto Agorism: Free markets for a free world” by AnarkioCrypto Video: https://tube.tchncs.de/w/tPvohTaiocfg5LEsFjGqHN Slides: https://anarkiocrypto.medium.com/crypto-agorism-free-markets-for-a-free-world-d9c755e6ef11

“Fifty things to do NOW” by The Free and Unashamed Article: https://libertyunderattack.com/fifty-things-now-free-unashamed

Vonu Podcast Audio: https://vonupodcast.com

Agora Podcast Audio: https://anchor.fm/mortified-penguin

Monero Talk Podcast Audio: https://www.monerotalk.live

Hack Liberty Forum Link: https://forum.hackliberty.org

Sources:

[1] https://thereboot.com/why-we-should-end-the-data-economy/ [2] https://anarkio.codeberg.page/blog/roadblocks-to-obtaining-government-id.html [3] https://www.unhcr.org/what-we-do/protect-human-rights/ending-statelessness/un-conventions-statelessness [4] https://www.unhcr.org/about-unhcr/who-we-are/1951-refugee-convention [5] https://index.statelessness.eu/sites/default/files/UNHCR%2C%20Faces%20of%20Statelessness%20in%20the%20Czech%20Republic%20(2020).pdf [6] https://unhcr.org/ibelong/about-statelessness [7] https://blog.twitter.com/common-thread/en/topics/stories/2021/whats-in-a-name-the-case-for-inclusivity-through-anonymity [8] https://privacyinternational.org/long-read/2274/identity-discrimination-and-challenge-id [9] https://www.economist.com/christmas-specials/2018/12/18/establishing-identity-is-a-vital-risky-and-changing-business [10] https://anonymousplanet.org/guide.html [11] https://anarkio.codeberg.page/blog/survival-outside-the-state.html [12] https://sneak.berlin/20200118/you-dont-need-to-see-my-id [13] https://vonupodcast.com/know-your-customer-kyc-the-rarely-discussed-danger-guest-article-audio/ [14] https://www.statelessness.eu/blog/each-person-left-living-streets-we-are-losing-society [15] https://www.penalreform.org/blog/proving-who-i-am-the-plight-of-people/ [16] https://index.statelessness.eu/themes/detention [17] https://dergigi.medium.com/true-names-not-required-fc6647dfe24a [18] https://fee.org/articles/passports-were-a-temporary-war-measure/ [19] https://medium.com/@hansdezwart/during-world-war-ii-we-did-have-something-to-hide-40689565c550 [20] https://anarkio.codeberg.page/agorism/ [21] https://libertyunderattack.com/fifty-things-now-free-unashamed [22] https://medium.com/@Kallman/a-21st-century-introduction-to-agorism-5dc69b54d79f [23] https://kopubco.com/pdf/An_Agorist_Primer_by_SEK3.pdf [24] https://bitcoinmagazine.com/business/kyc-free-bitcoin-circular-economies [25] https://kuno.anne.media [26] https://c4ss.org/content/57847 [27] https://whycryptocurrencies.com/toc.html [28] https://blog.trezor.io/buy-bitcoin-without-kyc-33b883029ff1

#anarchism #agorism #privacy

[sparklemotiongalaxy]

Ficlet again for the No Gem Roads AU! (AU by the amazing @vinylroadsjunction) entire fic is under readmore!

Battle Against a True Hellhound (Sayu crew and Sayu)

It was gym class when the monster came.

Remi did not enjoy Gym. It was hot, there were often too many people yelling. He would rather stay in and draw! But most of all, if their… unworldly qualities got revealed especially during Gym… they were going to be in big trouble. So he kept daydreaming about that next piece he was going to make with Sayu.

A cozy, warm winter-themed art piece. With Sayu drinking one of those… hot chocolates. Yes. That would be nice.

Life on Earth was fun. It made him and all of his friends so much more happier. They even started making songs, and post them

No. That couldn’t happen!

If anything happens to them or Torpedo-san when others find out… and all the fragile relationships they made get ruined… he knew he and his crew won’t be as happy as they are now. It’s as if he’s walking the… plank! After all, Zincite and Azurmalachite Mayday and Zuke turned out to be not too bad, but Homeworld was probably hellbent on looking for any traitors.

“Remi!“ His classmate yelled.

“Yeah!” Remi ran to kick the ball. So close...

He managed to kick the ball into the goal. Huh. Then Remi realized the goalkeeper was starting at something with horrified astonishment.

“Remi!” His classmate yelled again. This time, with more... alarm.

“What IS that?” Remi looked in the direction the classmate was pointing at.

A gem monster! It stood on four legs, had sharp jagged teeth, and had hellish horns growing from its head. Red. Red everywhere.

It bellowed.

“Get the teacher!” the other classmates yelled.

What could a human do about a gem monster

There had to be a way! Text Bunk Bed Junction, or get everyone safely out of here...

He remembered.

Bunk Bed Junction was out of town.

Crap. If only warp pads existed It was a good thing there was zero Homeworld technology they could use here. A fresh new start!

Suddenly he heard a huge CRASH.

“Remi! I'm going to deal with this thing, you run!” Dodo?

His former coworker and current friend was here!

“Didn't you have a math quiz?”

“Don't care.” He managed to jump out of the window and summon his sword. What was he, Tanjiro? Also, NO HUMAN CAN SUMMON SWORDS! They were so going to be in trouble after this.

Despite that, how he managed to fight was both graceful and sick.

Dodo kept trying to slash at the creature. The creature was just as swift and managed to dodge all the attacks. It pounced at Dodo, trying to pry him apart with its claws.

Oh right. Get everyone evacuated.

“Guys! This way!”

Remi led the class into the school building.

Only for the entrance to it be destroyed.

Rubble falling.

“Run left.”

A dismembered voice rang out.

Remi’s legs forced him to run left, to the direction of the auditorium.

Similarly, the class around him was doing the same.

“Get in the auditorium.”

They ran in, silently, calm enveloping their faces.

“Ohiamsosorryillneverdoitagain”

Tila was half crying as she mumbled those words. Remi could hear her.

With that, the auditorium’s speakers broke down.

Wait... how was she in the broadcasting room?

They were going to get expelled after this.

As if snapping out of a trance, the students looked around the auditorium.

“How are we here?”

“Is it safe?”

“Our team was winning!”

“It doesn't matter now!”

“Guys... I gotta go! The bathroom!”

Now was his chance. Remi ran out of the huge chamber, and took out his phone.

“Sayu! Sofa!”

“Sayu! Sofa! There's this huge monster and Dodo is fighting it alone! We need your help!”

As Remi feared, Dodo was losing. He was being pushed away into a wall by the hellhound, and was losing the grip on his katana.

“EDIT! SHRINK IMAGE TO 60 PERCENT!”

The beast shrank in size, now a size of a lion, instead of a hulking Kaiju.

Sofa was here!

He ran out of the different classroom and was looking rather tired.

“Sofa! Sorry for disturbing your Film Editing Class!”

“No worries, it was boring! Nobody uses Windows Film Editor nowadays!”

“Pyunn! Who wants a share of our love, Remi?”

Sayu smiled sweetly, trident twirled in hand.

“Now’s our chance! Dodo!”

Dodo, no longer pressed down by the weight of the monster, held tight to his katana.

“EDIT! EXPAND IMAGES TO 140 PERCENT!”

Sayu and Dodo grew in size, now larger than the beast.

Sayu readied her trident, and Dodo now held the massive katana in both hands.

Showstopper time.

“Love love katana shower beam!”

The beast screeched as it was hit with pink and blue waves of light, adorn with hearts.

The next thing they knew, the beast was nothing but a gemstone. A Carnelian?

Never mind. What mattered more was that they were going to be exposed. Caught. Separated.

Shattered.

Remi felt worthless. If only he was more useful than just running. He didn't deserve to be the "manager" of Sayu, he didn't deserve anything.

"You did wonderfully, if it weren't for your instructions, we wouldn't have been able to fintastically blast that gem!" Sayu smiled. She was too good for the world.

"Yeah, we better worry about being expelled first though." Dodo added. "We are... 'transfer students,' of course our lives aren't 'normal.' Whatever that means."

"About expelling you." The Gym teacher was behind Sofa's back.

Remi, Sofa and Dodo's back straightened.

"The four of you managed to minimize the damage of our school with your exceptional teamwork, and saved the lives of our students. So I'll turn a blind eye about this incident. Or your… ‘supernatural’ qualities. Do you happen to be with the band Bunk Bed Junction?

“Of course not haha….” Remi laughed.

The Gym teacher made an impish grin.

"Also because I'm a fan of Sofa's Let's Plays."

"PEOPLE WATCH THOSE?" Sofa yelled.

"Then this must be your first fan meeting. I'm Mira."

"I'm so honored!" As Sofa shook hands with his first fan, Remi saw Tila, and his classmates return.

"You did good, Tila. It was my fault I couldn't evacuate everyone and make the right decisions. Thank you so much. We couldn’t have done this without you.l Remi felt his eyes water up.

"It's... okay... besides... they told us we did a good job..."

She turned to the kids in gym clothes.

"Dude, the katana was so cool!"

"How did you EDIT that monster?"

"The heart shower! That was really cute and cool man!"

"Thank you for getting us out of there!"

Now Remi was fully crying, snot covering his face.

Sayu noticed, and snuggled Remi. "Awwww Remi, you did wonderfully! Love Love Sayu Pyunnn to you!" She whispered.

Soon... he felt the arms of Dodo, Tila and Sofa around him.

... just maybe, they won't have to walk the plank for a while.

#nsr #no straight roads #no gem roads #gem au #steven universe #steven unvierse au #nsr sayu #Sayu crew #is there a tag for Sayu team #NSR team Sayu #nsr au #yup this one got a lot longer than I expected #but a fun write #bonding through action sequences #I had fun with the fonts too #and figuring out the team’s powers #Kira Writes

[whats-wild-to-you]

Twisted Minds

Jaebeom

Park Jaebeom hated thunderstorms since the day he and his grandfather got caught in one when they went out to fish together. His grandfather didn't make it.

It's been a year since his grandfather passed away, something that deeply affected him. He moved back home and was surprised to find out he had inherited his grandfather's apartment.

The joy was short-lived though. Living in an complex occupied only by retired and elderly people wasn't exactly a chick magnet.

A week after he moved in, he found out that his next door neighbor wasn't 80 years old, sporting dentures. Yoon Bora was 29, just like himself and as far as he knew, single.

Willing to use his best game on her, he was taken aback when she seemingly was able to resist his charm.

Her aversion causing sleepless nights, he eventually accepted defeat and was ready to move on. Only if it weren't for Bora's occasional glares every time they ended up sharing the elevator. Jaebeom didn't know if she was grossed out or scared by him. Either way, this was not the signal he wanted to send.

Lying in his bed, an arm raised over his head, he stared at the ceiling, counting the minutes until this storm would pass. Trying desperately to keep his breathing shallow, he flinched every time a thunder struck. Even the bottle of soju he downed just a couple minutes ago couldn't calm his nerves.

With each strike the thunder seemed to be getting closer and closer to him. He had to fight the urge to run out of his apartment, but instead cowered underneath the covers, closing his eyes shut and forcing himself to sleep.

He woke up hours later, engulfed in silence. A feeling as if his brain was replaced by cotton, filling out his head, making him light-headed.

The silence was eerie and just when he parted his lips to let out a sigh, a ringing filled his ears. Silence followed again, then a small voice mumbled something.

Is the tv running?

Instinctively he turned his head as if he would be able to hear better, but no, the tv wasn't on.

The voice came from within his head.

Trying to calm his hitched breathing, he focused on the voice but couldn't make out any words.

Thinking it must've been the alcohol's fault, he emptied everything he had in the sink and got ready for the day.

After work, he went for a jog, like he always did. But that day, instead of going to the gym after jogging, like he always did, he found himself jogging back home.

Turning the corner and jogging towards his apartment building, he noticed Bora walking ahead of him. When he passed her, he casually greeted her.

"Hi."

Surprised by his own pleasantry, he furrowed his eyebrows, but continued jogging up to the entrance.

Suddenly he felt a small hand on his shoulder, forcefully commanding him to turn around.

"Park Jaebeom?"

Jaebeom didn't know why she sounded so surprised. Her face was a mix of panic and confusion.

"Yes?"

Jaebeom felt himself answering even though he had promised himself he would ignore Yoon Bora.

She mumbled an apology that sounded as insincere as her face. Not further acknowledging her presence, he let himself in and took the stairs up to his floor.

Of course, exhausting his body was the best remedy for sleepless nights. Thankfully he drifted off to sleep as soon as he laid his head on the pillow.

When he woke up in the middle of the night, he panicked when he looked around and didn't recognize his surroundings.

It looked like his apartment, yet it was filled with stuff that wasn't his. Upon closer inspection he realized it was some chick's apartment.

Had I gone out and gotten laid?

Impossible! I didn't have had any alcohol.

His vision was blurry and even rubbing his eyes didn't help. Squeezing them shut for a few seconds, he had convinced himself that he was dreaming. When he opened his eyes again, he stared directly into Yoon Bora.

He was a 100% sure then that he was indeed dreaming. Allowing his imagination to run wild he rubbed his rigid body against hers, moaning in excitement as Bora's body responded to his touch. His tongue grazed over her nipples, delightfully biting her soft flesh. He could see her lips move, words coming out but never reaching his ears. She claimed his mouth, sucking on his bottom lip and rubbing her tiny body against his.

Jaebeom woke up with a boner, finding release in the shower minutes later. While getting dressed, his gaze was glued to the wall connecting his apartment with Bora's.

He had a lot of sex in his life so far, good sex, but nothing compared to what that dream with Bora made him feel.

Groaning, he decided to go to the gym to release some pent up frustration. When he exited his apartment he almost collided with Bora. She nodded but he didn't move, just followed her to the elevator. It seemed to him she was holding her breath the whole time and fled the second the door opened.

Why did I have to dream of that weirdo?

Regretting his impulse decision to throw out all the alcohol he had at home, he stopped by the convenience store on his way home that night. Picking up four bottles of soju, he paid at the check-out.

Suddenly he felt as if he was being watched. When he turned his head around, he saw Bora diving into an empty isle.

Shaking his head he walked home and downed two bottles of soju before he took a short shower. A light buzz and trash tv usually helped him sleep and he was glad when his recipe worked.

Jaebeom was still sleeping when he turned over, laying on his belly. He didn't feel the soft fabric of the mattress underneath him though. He was laying on top of someone.

He forced his eyes open, seeing Bora laying underneath him.

Not again!

As if his subconscious had a mind of its own, he slowly grabbed the blanket, peeling it back, revealing inch by inch her luscious body. His dick hardened when he saw that she was naked. Then he reached down, pulling down his sweatpants and repositioning himself on top of Bora.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and Jaebeom felt and urge to sink himself deep into her. Not wasting precious seconds out of this dream, he pushed himself inside her, sighing in content. He spoke to her, told her how turned on he was, but she didn't seem to hear any of his words. When Bora's body shuddered underneath Jaebeom he knew he had just released inside her. Panicked, he pulled out and was immediately engulfed by darkness.

Jaebeom woke up feeling anything but rested. Lifting the covers, he was worried to find that he hadn't had a boner this morning.

"What the fuck was that?" He asked the empty room, too conflicted to call it a dream any longer.

He decided to stay at home for the day, avoiding the possibility of him running into Yoon Bora. Late at night he heard loud rumbling coming from her apartment. Like she was moving furniture around.

Is she leaving?

The thought scared him. And the thought that it scared him, scared him even more.

Listening closely, he tried to make out any specific noise but then suddenly everything was quiet again. Then a timid knock on his door.

"Park Jaebeom-ssi?"

Sprinting to the door, he opened it as casually as he could, leaning against it.

"What?"

"I- I- if you don't mind, could you help me for a second?" She asked, simultaneously ushering him towards her apartment.

Jaebeom recognized the surroundings immediately. It was the location of his dream two nights ago.

"Could you help me move my bed?"

Her small voice startled him. "Your bed? What's wrong with where it's standing now?"

"Bad feng shui." She offered as excuse but Jaebeom wasn't buying it.

Nodding his head, he grabbed the bottom end, counting to three.

The bed was heavier than it looked and his lower back was aching when he put it down again. Instinctively, he shut his eyes, breathing through the pain.

But when he shut them, the pain was replaced by another, much stronger sensation. Pleasure.

As soon as he shut his eyes, he saw himself kneeling on the bed, Bora on all fours in front of him, presenting him her juicy ass, pleading for him to take her and fuck her brains out.

He opened his eyes, staring directly into Bora, who seemed unfazed and proceeded to move the nightstands to their new position.

What the fuck!?

"Thank you! And I'm sorry to have bothered you. It's just that you're literally my only option."

She smiled coyly, wishing him a good night. Jaebeom left her apartment, still flabbergasted as to what had just happened.

-> part 3

#jay park #park jaybum #park jaebum #park jaebeom #more soju please #ask request #anon request

[thecrazyworldbuilder]

Just some random pseudo-norse syllables

Perhaps just take two random syllables to create a nordic/scandinavian inspired name. Serndul, Binfern, Varslyn...

bal bam ban bar barl barm barn barr bars bart bas bel bem ben ber berl berm bern berr bers bert bes bil bim bin bir birl birm birn birr birs birt bis bjal bjam bjan bjar bjas bjel bjem bjen bjer bjes bjil bjim bjin bjir bjis bjol bjom bjon bjor bjos bjul bjum bjun bjur bjus bol bom bon bor borl borm born borr bors bort bos bral bram bran brar bras brel brem bren brer bres bril brim brin brir bris brol brom bron bror bros brul brum brun brur brus bryl brym bryn bryr brys bul bum bun bur burl burm burn burr burs burt bus byl bym byn byr byrl byrm byrn byrr byrs byrt bys dal dam dan dar darl darm darn darr dars dart das del dem den der derl derm dern derr ders dert des dil dim din dir dirl dirm dirn dirr dirs dirt dis dol dom don dor dorl dorm dorn dorr dors dort dos dul dum dun dur durl durm durn durr durs durt dus dyl dym dyn dyr dyrl dyrm dyrn dyrr dyrs dyrt dys fal fam fan far farl farm farn farr fars fart fas fel fem fen fer ferl ferm fern ferr fers fert fes fil fim fin fir firl firm firn firr firs firt fis fjal fjam fjan fjar fjas fjel fjem fjen fjer fjes fjil fjim fjin fjir fjis fjol fjom fjon fjor fjos fjul fjum fjun fjur fjus fol fom fon for forl form forn forr fors fort fos fral fram fran frar fras frel frem fren frer fres fril frim frin frir fris frol from fron fror fros frul frum frun frur frus fryl frym fryn fryr frys ful fum fun fur furl furm furn furr furs furt fus fyl fym fyn fyr fyrl fyrm fyrn fyrr fyrs fyrt fys gal gam gan gar garl garm garn garr gars gart gas gel gem gen ger gerl germ gern gerr gers gert ges gil gim gin gir girl girm girn girr girs girt gis gol gom gon gor gorl gorm gorn gorr gors gort gos gul gum gun gur gurl gurm gurn gurr gurs gurt gus gyl gym gyn gyr gyrl gyrm gyrn gyrr gyrs gyrt gys hal ham han har harl harm harn harr hars hart has hel hem hen her herl herm hern herr hers hert hes hil him hin hir hirl hirm hirn hirr hirs hirt his hjal hjam hjan hjar hjas hjel hjem hjen hjer hjes hjil hjim hjin hjir hjis hjol hjom hjon hjor hjos hjul hjum hjun hjur hjus hol hom hon hor horl horm horn horr hors hort hos hral hram hran hrar hras hrel hrem hren hrer hres hril hrim hrin hrir hris hrol hrom hron hror hros hrul hrum hrun hrur hrus hryl hrym hryn hryr hrys hul hum hun hur hurl hurm hurn hurr hurs hurt hus hyl hym hyn hyr hyrl hyrm hyrn hyrr hyrs hyrt hys kal kam kan kar karl karm karn karr kars kart kas kel kem ken ker kerl kerm kern kerr kers kert kes kil kim kin kir kirl kirm kirn kirr kirs kirt kis kjal kjam kjan kjar kjas kjel kjem kjen kjer kjes kjil kjim kjin kjir kjis kjol kjom kjon kjor kjos kjul kjum kjun kjur kjus kol kom kon kor korl korm korn korr kors kort kos kral kram kran krar kras krel krem kren krer kres kril krim krin krir kris krol krom kron kror kros krul krum krun krur krus kryl krym kryn kryr krys kul kum kun kur kurl kurm kurn kurr kurs kurt kus kyl kym kyn kyr kyrl kyrm kyrn kyrr kyrs kyrt kys lal lam lan lar larl larm larn larr lars lart las lel lem len ler lerl lerm lern lerr lers lert les lil lim lin lir lirl lirm lirn lirr lirs lirt lis lol lom lon lor lorl lorm lorn lorr lors lort los lul lum lun lur lurl lurm lurn lurr lurs lurt lus lyl lym lyn lyr lyrl lyrm lyrn lyrr lyrs lyrt lys mal mam man mar marl marm marn marr mars mart mas mel mem men mer merl merm mern merr mers mert mes mil mim min mir mirl mirm mirn mirr mirs mirt mis mol mom mon mor morl morm morn morr mors mort mos mul mum mun mur murl murm murn murr murs murt mus myl mym myn myr myrl myrm myrn myrr myrs myrt mys

nal nam nan nar narl narm narn narr nars nart nas nel nem nen ner nerl nerm nern nerr ners nert nes nil nim nin nir nirl nirm nirn nirr nirs nirt nis nol nom non nor norl norm norn norr nors nort nos nul num nun nur nurl nurm nurn nurr nurs nurt nus nyl nym nyn nyr nyrl nyrm nyrn nyrr nyrs nyrt nys pal pam pan par parl parm parn parr pars part pas pel pem pen per perl perm pern perr pers pert pes pil pim pin pir pirl pirm pirn pirr pirs pirt pis pol pom pon por porl porm porn porr pors port pos pul pum pun pur purl purm purn purr purs purt pus pyl pym pyn pyr pyrl pyrm pyrn pyrr pyrs pyrt pys ral ram ran rar rarl rarm rarn rarr rars rart ras rel rem ren rer rerl rerm rern rerr rers rert res ril rim rin rir rirl rirm rirn rirr rirs rirt ris rjal rjam rjan rjar rjas rjel rjem rjen rjer rjes rjil rjim rjin rjir rjis rjol rjom rjon rjor rjos rjul rjum rjun rjur rjus rol rom ron ror rorl rorm rorn rorr rors rort ros rral rram rran rrar rras rrel rrem rren rrer rres rril rrim rrin rrir rris rrol rrom rron rror rros rrul rrum rrun rrur rrus rryl rrym rryn rryr rrys rul rum run rur rurl rurm rurn rurr rurs rurt rus ryl rym ryn ryr ryrl ryrm ryrn ryrr ryrs ryrt rys sal sam san sar sarl sarm sarn sarr sars sart sas sel sem sen ser serl serm sern serr sers sert ses sil sim sin sir sirl sirm sirn sirr sirs sirt sis sjal sjam sjan sjar sjas sjel sjem sjen sjer sjes sjil sjim sjin sjir sjis sjol sjom sjon sjor sjos sjul sjum sjun sjur sjus sol som son sor sorl sorm sorn sorr sors sort sos sral sram sran srar sras srel srem sren srer sres sril srim srin srir sris srol srom sron sror sros srul srum srun srur srus sryl srym sryn sryr srys sul sum sun sur surl surm surn surr surs surt sus syl sym syn syr syrl syrm syrn syrr syrs syrt sys tal tam tan tar tarl tarm tarn tarr tars tart tas tel tem ten ter terl term tern terr ters tert tes til tim tin tir tirl tirm tirn tirr tirs tirt tis tol tom ton tor torl torm torn torr tors tort tos tul tum tun tur turl turm turn turr turs turt tus tyl tym tyn tyr tyrl tyrm tyrn tyrr tyrs tyrt tys val vam van var varl varm varn varr vars vart vas vel vem ven ver verl verm vern verr vers vert ves vil vim vin vir virl virm virn virr virs virt vis vol vom von vor vorl vorm vorn vorr vors vort vos vul vum vun vur vurl vurm vurn vurr vurs vurt vus vyl vym vyn vyr vyrl vyrm vyrn vyrr vyrs vyrt vys wal wam wan war warl warm warn warr wars wart was wel wem wen wer werl werm wern werr wers wert wes wil wim win wir wirl wirm wirn wirr wirs wirt wis wol wom won wor worl worm worn worr wors wort wos wul wum wun wur wurl wurm wurn wurr wurs wurt wus wyl wym wyn wyr wyrl wyrm wyrn wyrr wyrs wyrt wys zal zam zan zar zarl zarm zarn zarr zars zart zas zel zem zen zer zerl zerm zern zerr zers zert zes zil zim zin zir zirl zirm zirn zirr zirs zirt zis zol zom zon zor zorl zorm zorn zorr zors zort zos zul zum zun zur zurl zurm zurn zurr zurs zurt zus zyl zym zyn zyr zyrl zyrm zyrn zyrr zyrs zyrt zys

#name generation #name generator #naming #names

[meatmuncherlol]

Part.... I lost count, BUT DIFFERENT. (Again)

Adventures of Sakazuki and Borsalino when they first joined the marines! 26 year old Borsalino and 23 year old Sakazuki. Sakazuki's 24th birthday!

*Borsalino, on the transponder snail with Tsuru, Momonga, and the other vice admirals, in literally 4:51 AM*

B: Okay, here's the plan if you guys forgot.

B: Tsuru, you go and distract Sakazuki by baiting him to travel all the way to the South Blue thinking there are strong pirates invading a town

T: Got it!

B: Strawberry, Bastille, and Momonga, you go and set up the decorations I bought 2 weeks ago while Tsuru distracts Sakazuki.

S.B, B.T, & M: Noted.

B: Rest of you guys, help out and distract Sakazuki when he's done early.

Rest: Alright.

B: Good, everyone got it?

Everyone: Got it!

B: Alright, then let's go! *hangs up all transponder snails*

B, thinking: He usually wakes up on 5 in the morning to do his daily workout at the gym, I'll go with him to make time for Strawberry, Bastille, and Momongo to sneak in the decorations without him noticing..

B, thinking: Alright! Let't go wait for him outside his dorm!

*a few minutes later, Borsalino waits for Sakazuki outside his dorm*

B: He should be here by now, wonder what's taking him so lo-

*The door swung open, crashing into Borsalino's face and body, causing him to tumble and land on his butt. oof.*

S: Oh! Bors! What the fuck were you doing infront of the door?!

B: Ow, uhm- I wanted to try the gym and go with you maybe-?

S: ...You don't have any gym clothes on.

B: Wait you have to wear a specific kind of clothing to go to the gym?

S: I mean- sweatpants and a shirt is enough if u have those

B: I have a shirt but no sweat pants

S: Oh, then just wear shorts

B: Sakazuki, its 42 degrees outside, ITS FREEZING COLD.

S: Well, *chuckles* either go with those jeans or the shorts.

B: *sigh*

*15 minutes later, they arrived at the gym*

B: Whoa! It's pretty small and silent, I like it!

S: Not much people come here in 5 in the morning.

S: So are you gonna work out on the treadmill or-

*Borsalino jumps on the treadmill and puts it on max level*

S: Careful with that, you might break it..

B: Ha! You think this strong treadmill will bre-

*Treadmill breaks*

B: Oh.

*Sakazuki bursts out laughing*

S: Told ya so!

*Borsalino looks at Sakazuki with a smile on his face*

B: I never heard you laugh this much

*Sakazuki immediately stops after he said that*

S: Don't get used to it. *goes on the bench to lift*

B: *chuckles* I won't.

*Thud outside*

B, thinking: SHIT.

S: Huh? What was that?

B: OH UHM- Maybe it was just how uh-

S: How what?

B: Maybe just a rat that fell off the roof-??

S:...okay...

B: *sighs in relief*

*after about an hour or so, they leave the gym*

B: That was the best gym experience ever

S: You did nothing but break the treadmill and talk to me

B: That's why it's the best

B, whispering to the small transponder snail in his pocket: Hey Tsuru, it's your turn.

T: Copy that. *hangs up*

*Tsuru coming out of nowhere*

T: Heyyy Sakazuki! I heard there's some evil pirates invading a town in the South Blue, wanna come and kill them?

S: Sure, why not!

S: You coming Bors?

B: Oh, um, I can't go becauseeee.... I NEED TO CLEAN MY BATHROOM.

S: Oh, okay, but you're gonna miss out a lot.

B: Alrightbyeseeyahaveagoodtime!

*Runs to the ford*

B, while entering the living room of the ford: Alright people! If my calculations are correct, we have exactly 2 and a half hours till Tsuru gets back to Sakazuki! Chop chop!

Sengoku, while eating rice crackers: Do we really need to host his birthday here in the ford? Isn't he too old for surprise parties?

B, pointing a butter knife at him: 1. Yes we do, he is my best friend and I am trying to make this the best birthday ever for him. 2. You're too old to even be a virgin, so shut the fuck up or i'll shove your hairy long beard up your ASS.

B, pointing away the butter knife smiling innocently: Got it?

Seng: ...yes.

B: Great! Now stop eating the party snacks.

Seng: ...no.

B: *sighs* HURRY UP PEOPLE! CHOP CHOP!

Part 2 of this story?

#one piece #one piece kizaru #one piece admirals #borsalino #one piece akainu #sakazuki #one piece navy

[wayanbaliproperty]

Dijual Rumah Mewah Style Eropa Di Kawasan Gatot Subroto Denpasar Barat Dekat Perbatasan Kerobokan Berada Di Lingkungan Yang Nyaman Serta Letak Yang Sangat Strategis Di Pinggir Jalan Besar Bangunan 2 Lantai + Basement + Rooftop Luas Tanah 402 m2 Luas Bangunan 685 m2 Kamar Tidur 6 Kamar Mandi 5 Ruang Tamu Ruang Keluarga Dapur Ruang Makan Ruang Laundry Ruang GYM Gudang Teras Taman ( Space Kolam Renang ) Basemant Dan Carport Air Sumur Bor Listrik 7700 Watt Jalan Akses Lebar 7 Meter Aspal Harga 4.5 Miliar Direct To Owner Phone Or WhatsApp [phone] 08563833233 Info Lengkap Property Bali https://linktr.ee/wayanbaliproperti #wayanbaliproperty #propertybaliagent #forsalebaliproperty #beachfrontbaliproperty #jualtanahrumahvilladibali #agenpropertibali #balirealestate #balihotel #tanahdijualdibali #tanahpinggirpantaidibali #hoteldibali #baliisland #lamborghiniindonesia #rumahdijualdibali #balitemple #rumahmewahdibali #pantaikutabali #pulaubali #agentpropertydibali #ogohogohbali #pariwisatabali #realestatebali #dijualvilladibali #airportngurahraibali #tanahmurahdibali #pulaudewata #dijualtanahdibali #propertyinbali (di Property Bali Agent) https://www.instagram.com/p/CeZCuCePm39/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#wayanbaliproperty #propertybaliagent #forsalebaliproperty #beachfrontbaliproperty #jualtanahrumahvilladibali #agenpropertibali #balirealestate #balihotel #tanahdijualdibali #tanahpinggirpantaidibali #hoteldibali #baliisland #lamborghiniindonesia #rumahdijualdibali #balitemple #rumahmewahdibali #pantaikutabali #pulaubali #agentpropertydibali #ogohogohbali #pariwisatabali #realestatebali #dijualvilladibali #airportngurahraibali #tanahmurahdibali #pulaudewata #dijualtanahdibali #propertyinbali

[liarmoons]

,,..

#god i aant even in english #hvis jeg skal på efterskole... god #vi sKAL finde ud af det på under en måned pg altså jeg elsker min mor men hun får aldrig gjort ting og det bekymrer mig #hvis ikke jeg skal på efterskole har jeg et gymnasium jeg vil på #men jeg skal have det som 1. prioritet hvis jev skal ind #det stresser mg så meget like #vi skal måske flytte hjem til min søster hvis hun tager til korea i de tre år hun måske skal #det vil sige at jeg som sådan ikke har et sted at bo andet en på min skole #jeg ved ikke engang hvorfor det stresser mig så meget men det gør det #også hvis jeg skal på det gym jeg vil skæa jeg bo tæt på #men hvad hvis vi når at flytte væk #jeg vil ikke have adresse hos min far (der ellers insistrer på at han kun vil bo i det område vi allrrede bor i) #det fact at han allerede er blandwt ind i hvorvidt jeg har det dårligt eller ej... jeg får det skift sf det #han dkam ikke have noget med mig at gøre nogensinde #det ville også være besværligt hvis jeg så bagefter ville fradrage ham forældre myndighed over mig ???????????? #tror jeg da ??? #delete later #når vi engang flytter vil jeg have mine carebears med :(( dhsjdhhs

[shorkbrian]

OOOOO okok.... kirishima with a darling who’s his study partner by chance (college) and he just like,,, falls in love with them! but she have a boyfriend so :(((( but he decides the best idea is the take her by the hair and “lovingly” fuck his new little girlfriend, even though the cries pouring out her mouth are anything but... and he just. forces her to be his girlfriend and you’re just miserable babey

Bro bro bror bror b rorr bor rbro rbo

Prelude - He’s like a stereotypical jock, but is super kind and friendly and just a big HIMBO lololol.

Pairing - Kirishima X Reader

Prompt - At the top

Warnings -  NSFW, full non-con here folks. Kirishima doesn’t let reader tell him no. That is NOT cool y’all. Consent is always required.

Music -  https://youtu.be/2k5w6eTxGXk 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You’re good at most subjects but this one just really flies over your head. When you went to the teacher, she paired you up with the only other person in the class that seemed to be having trouble, Kirishima. The teacher figured that the two of you could work through the material together.

You didn’t mind. Kirishima seemed like a decent guy, even though he was very physically intimidating. He was on the football team, built like a literal brick wall, but his personality was sunshine and rainbows. The man always greeted you with the brightest smile when you showed up to study.

For the most part, the two of you struggled to get work done. Kirishima could do no more than three problems before getting frustrated or bored, and he’d start making funny faces at you, maybe kick your shins underneath the table to get you to pay attention to him. When you finally looked up to see him with his face contorted in the weirdest way possible, you’d burst out laughing. That’s how the two of you got kicked out the library for a month, had to meet at a coffeeshop to study.

Kirishima liked coffee so sweet that it made you sick, almost gagging after taking a sip of his drink when he offered. Likewise, Kirishima couldn’t stand your tea, said it tasted like “old lady water” and needed sugar. You learned a lot about each other, and eventually reached the point were you would consider the two of you to be friends.

You were friends. Until he decided you weren’t`

——

Today you two are in the library, both of you struggling over your worksheets. A tapping on your shoulder alerted you to the presence of your boyfriend, and you were promptly hopping to your feet, smiling and hugging your boyfriend. He wanted to come see you, spend his lunch break together, so you had told him to meet you in the library, where you and Kiri had rented a study room.

“Midoriya! Hi baby.”

With a kiss on the cheek, your boyfriend was b lushing, pulling out a chair at the table so he could sit down. “Hey, who’s this?”

He was gesturing to Kirishima, who was glaring at your boyfriend. That was odd. Usually the redhead had no problem meeting new people, maybe he was just grumpy because he was trying to study?

“Oh, this is my study buddy, Kiri. Kiri, this is my boyfriend, Midoriya!” Midoriya nodded at Kirishima, and Kiri gave a flick of his head in return, before hunching over to scribble furiously at his paper. Yeah, he was definitely irritated at having his studying interrupted. Unusual, but you figured you should be supportive of the redhead taking his studies seriously.

“Hey babe, let’s go eat out in the courtyard - I don’t wanna make Kiri uncomfortable.”

Your boyfriend nodded, getting up from the seat he had just plopped down in, before giving a sheepish wave to the as the two of you exited the room.

“I’ll be back, sorry!”

you whisper-yelled to Kirishima before the door swung shut.

There was small talk as you and your boyfriend made your way to the pretty courtyard of the college, filled with flowering trees and cozy benches for couples (like yourselves) to sit on.

It was peaceful, sitting there, chatting with your boyfriend while he shared his sandwich with you. He was working as an intern for a big engineering company, and you could tell he was happy about his work as he animatedly recounted what he had done so far that day, pausing every now and then to gulp down a bite of sandwich.

But as all good things must end, your boyfriend had to leave after his lunch break was up, checking the time on his watch and gasping as he realized he had spent way too much time talking to you.

He apologized profusely for his abrupt exit, giving you a brief, slightly messy press of his lips against yours before he gathered his bag, shoving the rest of his sandwich into his mouth. Midoriya waved, skipping backwards, making you chuckle when he tripped and almost fell.

You loved your boyfriend, thought of yourself as the luckiest girl for getting together with the kindest, sweetest man you had ever met.

——

Returning to the private study room, You were surprised to see Kirishima still hunched over his paper, still scratching out numbers. His grip was white-knuckled on the pencil.

“Uh, Kiri? You okay dude?”

“Yeah, it’s whatever, I’m fine.” He didn’t sound fine. The man sounded angry.

Figuring he just maybe needed some space, you shrugged “... I need to go get a book real quick. Need anything?”

“No.”  Was his short reply.

Kirishima was normally a bubbly, friendly person. Why was he so irritated all of a sudden? Did this have something to do with your boyfriend interrupting the study session? 

You pondered over this as you walked through the shelves, partly glad that you weren’t having to dodge other students. You and Kiri usually choose times that the library was relatively empty, just in case the redhead made you choke in laughter again. 

Finding the aisle your book should be in, you meandered slowly to the end, scanning the shelves. Ah! There it was, on one of the higher shelves - but luckily you could still reach if you went on your tippy-toes.

A  big hand slipped around your waist, and suddenly you felt cool air on your backside, as if someone had flipped up the edge of your skirt. You tried to whirl around, smack whichever dumb idiot thought it’d be funny to feel you up, but you were pushed up against the bookshelf before you had the chance, shelf almost rattling with the force.

“Hey—!” Another hand clamped over your mouth, smothering your rather loud protest. The giant hand covered more than half of your face, and you couldn’t help but gasp. Was this really happening? Were you really about to get groped by some meathead senior?

“I’m really disappointed (Y/N).”

Wait.

“I thought what we had was special, thought that I was the only one you looked at like that. That hurts.”

Kirishima?

The hand on your waist dipped lower, and yup - he had flipped your skirt up, was running his hand the top of your panties, feeling the fabric between his fingers. You struggled - tried to kick back, headbutt him, twist out of his grip - but the man was too big. He slipped a finger underneath the elastic waistband of your panties, pulled it back, let it go so it could snap against your skin; make you flinch.

“Newsflash (Y/N), your ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t actually love you. You could do so much better than a little Twink like him. You need a real man, someone who can take care of you and give you what you need, give you anything you want.” What was he talking about? The hand at your mouth was clamping your jaw shut, putting so much pressure against the lower half of your face that you couldn’t even open your mouth, just let out angry whines.  When his other hand traveled around to the front of your body, dancing over the flesh of your hip,  you wiggled, trying to put up a fight. It was useless.

Kirishima shoved his hand down your panties, groaning lowly into your ear when his fingers grazed the tuft of curls above your pussy, before dipping further down to stroke gently over your folds. You shivered, angry whines giving way to distressed whimpers, wanting to yell, scream for the librarian that you knew was at their desk. 

You were hanging on his arm, trying to pull his giant hand away from your face, but there was no point. The man spent hours in the gym, building up his muscles to make him better at football, and it coincidentally made him better at holding you against his body while he slipped a finger into your now-wet cunt.

The side of his thumb was flicking at your clit, his middle finger slowly dragging across your walls. You held back a groan when it thrusted in deeper, passing by your g-spot on the way in. Kirishima noticed.

“Did you get tired of waiting for me to make a move? So needy for a cock to fill you up that you ran and got a boyfriend?” What? You shook your head no, but his fingers clenched down tighter over your face, and you froze in pain.  “I was gonna be so romantic for you, get a bunch of flowers and one of those big stuffed bears. Ask you to be my girlfriend.  But you just couldn’t wait, could you? Had to go and ruin everything.”

His voice was low, his breath tickling your ear and making you shiver as he whispered, practically growling. You had never seem him irritated, let alone angry. You were scared. Another finger slipped into your pussy, and you keened, scrabbling at his arm at the sudden stretch. Kiri snickered.

“Gonna have to take a few more to get you ready for me babe, I’m not a little stick like your stupid excuse for a ’boyfriend’.”

Tears sprang to your eyes. You loved Midoriya, had ever since you met him. He was shy and nervous, but he was also sweet. Midoriya would never treat you like this, would always ask if you wanted to make each other feel good, ask before he so much as looked at you. Kirishima was a brute.

Another finger entered you, and while the stretch stung, you also felt pleasantly full. His thumb was still moving over your clit, and with a muffled wail your hips twitched in the air, grinding down on his thumb as you suddenly came.

Kirishima didn’t stop. He huffed out a quiet laugh, gave your a wet kiss against your neck. “See? Knew you were meant for me. I love you baby, gonna make you feel so good.”

Blinking, you were trying to come down from the height of your pleasure, flinching away from Kiri as his fingers slipped out of you. Oh god, you didn’t want him to keep going. Muffled cries left your lips, desperately trying to get Kirishima to stop, slow down, please wait, but the man was determined. Your panties were pulled to the side, and something big nudged against your entrance. 

“Sorry baby-“ Kiri grunted, beginning to inch his way inside your tight pussy. “You’re just so sexy ’n pretty, can’t hold myself back.”

The mushroom head of his cock popped past your opening, and you squealed in pain. You were wailing behind his hand, and the man could feel the tears dripping onto his fingers as he held your mouth shut, could feel your lips moving as you cried “Stop, stop! Hurts, oh god Kiri it hurts.“

“Shit, baby I’m sorry, ‘m sorry.”  Without moving, you heard the sound of him spitting, and then felt his hand bump against where he was connected to you. He had spit in his palm, and was the rest of his girthy cock with the slickness, practically jerking himself off into your cunt. You cried harder.

“Shh, shhh it’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you. You’ll get to cum again, don’t worry. Bet your shrimpy little bitchboy never had you cumming twice, did he?” His voice turned sour at the end of his sentence, filled with venom at the mere mention of your boyfriend. 

Kirishima moaned, wet hand coming to rest on your hip as he slowly, slowly began inching forward, forcing his cock into your body. It still hurt, but not as much as it had at first - the slide easier with the addition of the man’s spit. It felt like he was pushing himself in forever, his cock could’ve been in your throat by the time his balls pressed flush against you

. He was bottomed out, and you were gasping, struggling to suck in air around your sobs and his giant hand. The redhead stilled, allowing the two of you to adjust to the sensation. While he waited, Kiri brought his hand up to your hair, sweeping it away from your neck so he could kiss the tender flesh their, hair still in his fist.

“You’re so good for me, look at you takin’ all of my cock. Fuck, fuck - you feel so warm.” He whined between kisses, pulling your hair to tilt your head back as he kissed towards the front of your neck. You shivered as the pain zinged through your scalp, sharp and prickly.

The man pressed up behind you had waited long enough. With no warning, he drew back his hips - cock sliding out of you. He was so /big/.  You wished he had prepared you more, at least then you wouldn’t be sore as he pressed back into you, setting up a rhythm of slow, long thrusts.

He was pulling your head back by your hair, making your head rest against his shoulder against your will, your hands still clutching desperately at his arm. Shoved against the bookshelf like this wasn’t very comfortable, but neither was getting your pussy wrecked by a man twice your size. 

Gradually, Kiri’s pace increased, your pussy working to lubricate itself and making each rapid thrust end with a squelching sound and the slap of his plump balls against the top of your clit.  Truthfully, Midoriya had never fucked you this good, but you were fine with the young man’s sexual ability. He would finish inside you, then lick out his cum until you were squirming and writhing on his tongue, and then Midoriya suck at your clit, shove his fingers into you and fuck you fast until you squirted, leaving the both of you in bliss.

Kirishima had carnal desire, sucking dark marks into the column of your throat, accidentally tugging your hair on each thrust, making you climb further onto your tiptoes to try and alleviate the pressure. He was getting rougher, throaty moans being punched out of him on each thrust - the man tried to quiet himself down by burying his face into the crook of your neck, biting down onto your skin. It just made you sob harder, the pain and pleasure mixing and sending you hurtling towards another orgasm.

And then he slammed into you so hard that your feet lifted off the ground, your body held up by his hand in your hair and the cock filling your pussy. A wail escaped you, his hand silencing it, and you came, twitching in the big man’s hold. 

“Oh, fuck, oh my god baby you’re so amazing oh my god, oh my god-“ Your toes brushed against the ground again. Kirishima was slouching his back so he could pummel into your smaller form even harder, babbling into your shoulder as his hips stuttered when he reached his own orgasm.

You sobbed as you felt his warmth filling your insides. 

Kirishima stayed there, leaning his head against your shoulder while he sucked in air, breathing raggedly. On every sob, you could feel his length inside you, and you were so disgusted.

His breathing evened out. Your sobbing quieted down into measly sniffles. Kiri let go of your hair, scratching at your scalp to alleviate the stinging sensation that he knew he must’ve caused by pulling on the strands.

“I’m gonna take my hand off your mouth now, can you be quiet for me?” You nodded, and the brushing grip was released from your face. 

You stayed silent, hand coming up to massage at your jaw where his big fingers had dug into the tender flesh.

“Good. Wanna go back to my dorm to clean up?”

Shaking your head, you barely choking out a panicked “N-no!”, almost forgetting to be quiet in your haste to respond.  Kirishima sighed behind you, pressing his chest against your back as he did so.

“Baby, I said I was gonna take care of you. I wanna take care of you. We’re going back to my dorm.”

He slowly slipped out of you, wincing as the air hit his dick.  With his length leaving you empty, Kiri smoothed your panties back into pale, then wiped his cock on the underside of your skirt before tucking it back into his pants. You wished you hadn’t chosen a skirt that morning when you were getting dressed.

Without another word, Kiri gently turned you around to face him, his eyes filled with a warmth that they always seemed to hold whenever the two of you locked eyes during a study session. His big arms encircled you, pulling you into his broad chest as he squeezed, the hug surprisingly gentle, almost calming. It would have been an amazing hug, if only the man hadn’t raped you beforehand.

  A jacket was being wrapped around  the bottom half of your legs, Kiri securing it so that you wouldn’t flash anyone when he picked you up in his arms, carrying you bridal-style. You rubbed at your eyes, trying to scrub away the tears as your ex-friend carried you towards the library exit, smiling down at you fondly.

“I love you, you know that? I’m gonna take such good care of you baby.” You ignored him.

“And don’t worry about your old boyfriend, I’m going to talk to him and break the news that you aren’t interested in him anymore. You’ve got something much better now.”

#yandere #yandere oneshot #oneshot #one sided attraction #one sided love #friendzone #yandere kirishima #yandere kirishima eijirou #kirishima #Kirishima Eijirou #mha kirishima #kirishima x reader #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere kiri #bnha kirishima #kirishima smut

[teamxdark]

Office AU: The Bet

Arthur: Galahad is a big basketball fan, so sometimes we watch a game with him on tv.

Arthur: Guin and I decided to bet on opposing teams. If I won, Guin would have to wear a big hairy fake moustache all day. If I lost, I would have to wear clothes from Guin’s closet to work, plus makeup. Basketball never ends in a tie, so we figured we were all good to go.

Arthur: Except this time, it did. The gym flooded during the first overtime and they had to call it a draw. Galahad laughed and told us we both lost, and, well... we couldn’t really argue with him.

Arthur: I’m sure I could pull off this look if it was tailored to me, but Guin and I are very different shapes and sizes. There’s bagginess where there shouldn’t be, and tightness where I need looseness. At least my face looks good. Guin’s good with makeup.

Arthur: I’d say Guin got off easy, but those fake moustaches tickle your nose and your face and they can start to smell. She’s not allowed to take it off except to eat and drink. I’ve never seen her go to the water cooler so often.

..............

Tristan: I got a text from Lancelot warning me about a stupid failed bet between the boss and his wife. I don’t know what I expected, but Arthur in a badly-fitting women’s suit and skirt combo and Guin with goofy facial hair wasn’t it.

Tristan: I don’t think I’ve heard Lamorak laugh that loudly since Kay used the fake name ‘Hugh Mungus’.

Tristan: And for some reason, Guin’s been inspired to speak in a French accent when the moustache is on. I think I’ve heard her switch to just plain speaking French a couple of times.

Tristan: Today’s going to be an interesting day.

............

Lancelot: ...

Lancelot: ...

Lancelot: I live with these people.

............

Percival: I was hoping for a very professional environment when I started my internship. A lot of people building their careers with focused energies and smart attitudes.

Percival: And yet...

Percival: Somehow I feel more productive today than yesterday. I feel more productive and focused right now, after Ms. Guinevere came up to myself and Galahad, talking in an accent, saying she ‘moustache us a question’.

Percival: I guess there’s a lot about adult life I have to learn.

Galahad: ...

Galahad: Perce, you’re fourteen.

..........

Lancelot: I live with these people.

...........

Merlina: I don’t mind it at all, actually. I much prefer this to most of the others things I see and hear.

Merlina: It’s entertaining! Unlike hearing plans for what I’m pretty sure are felonies, and never being sure if people are serious or not.

Merlina: I do feel bad for Arthur. He looks so uncomfortable whenever he sits down or stands up. That jacket’s bunching up around the shoulders and armpits and that can’t feel good.

...........

Dindrane: I’m so glad I had a beret buried in my bag.

Dindrane: Long story, not important why it was there.

Dindrane: But I lent it to Guin and now she’s going full French. Enid gave her a scarf to complete the look.

Dindrane: She pulls it off? I can’t explain it, but she does? Moustache included.

Dindrane: ...I wish we had a visitor from corporate doing an inspection today, that would have been perfect.

..........

Guin: *twirling the end of her fake moustache with one hand and adjusting her beret with the other*

Guin: Pamplemousse.

...........

Lancelot: I live.

Lancelot: With these people.

............

Bors: I gotta say, I didn’t expect Arthur to walk around in heels so well. The man’s barely stumbling at all.

Bedivere: Walking in heels is less difficult than most would expect.

Bors: ...You’ve tried it?

Bedivere: Yes. Once.

Bedivere: ...You haven’t?

Bors: ...

Bors: ...I can never find any my size.

Bedivere: Ah.

..........

Gawain: Remind me to never make a bet with either of them in my life.

Gawain: They’re too creative.

Gareth: Actually, I found these to be pretty tame.

Gawain: ...What.

Gareth: You should have heard some of the dares and bets I’ve made and did when I was in college.

Gawain: ...

Gawain: I’m sorry, WHAT--

............

Lancelot: I love those two. Make no mistake.

Lancelot: I would run into high speed traffic for Guin without a second thought.

Lancelot: And Arthur is like the sun in my sky.

Lancelot: ...But I live with these people.

Arthur: *slinging an arm over Lancelot’s shoulders, to the best of his ability* Yes, but you love it.

Guin: *mirroring Arthur from Lancelot’s other side* Tant pis pour toi si tu veux dire que tu n’étais pas amusé aujourd’hui par nous.

Lancelot: ...

#Office AU. #Smash speaks. #Finally had an idea after 5000 years.

[laughing-moonlight]

What I wanna know is why we haven’t had Elites that specialise in Normal/Grass/Electric/Fairy yet?

Okay, so Fairy was introduced in Gen 6 so I guess I can let that slide, but the other three? Hell nah!

Like, Volkner was so close to becoming an Elite, and Norman and Whitney could easily become one with Slaking and everyone’s-worst-enemy Miltank! I guess either Erika or Ramos would be the Grass Elite because Gardenia, Cilan, Mallow and Milo wouldn’t stand a chance (why is grass so weak ughhhh)!

As for Fairy, obviously the strongest are Mina and Bede, but Galar doesn’t have an Elite Four so...

I also want to see either more Water Elites or more Fire ones. For water we only had Siebold! And we’ve only had Flint and Malva for Fire! And maybe some more Ground and Bug types? We’ve only had Bertha and Aaron (I guess Sinnoh really indulged us, huh?)

Plus there's only been one Rock and Flying Elites to date with Olivia and Kahili

And we definitely need more Poison experts just in general-the last Poison Gym Leader we had was Roxie in Gen 5 and now we’re in Gen 8! And we only got Koga as an Elite in Gen 2!

And just HOW many Elite Fours have either Fighting, Ice, Ghost, Dark, Dragon or Psychic in them? BOR-ING! Come on Pokèmon spice it up a bit!

#pokemon #elite four #gym leader whitney #gym leader norman #gym leader volkner #gym leader erika #gym leader ramos #trial captain mina #Pokemon diamond #pokemon pearl #pokemon platinum #gen iv #kahuna olivia #elite four olivia #elite four kahili

[tillman]

I like to think Bors is part of the battle frontier like in pokemon emerald but he can be an elite four if you want. But who is the evil team? Who are the other gym leaders? We have gawain (fire) and lancelot (water/steel or can be both) i liek to think tristan and dinadan part of the gym leaders

oh my godd bors being battle frontier is kinda epic. i just dunno who else would be elite four worthy. 

and ok ok ok hold on. im trying to not do repeats for families just cus its too much if its all orkneys aoe8t9pu4r3jiegt. 

gawain (fire, most likely the 7th leader?)

lancelot (water or steel? both work well, but the symbolism around the sword with the red hilt being a honedge is so much. hes most likely the 8th)

i would absolutely throw tristan in (god. please. poison type. either super early or like. one of the last.)

dinadan totally (normal type. super early gym leader. he totally has a chatot) 

yvain could also work! (electric?? honestly most types would work fine with him :-) maybe early but also being just before gawain. hurts just a bit.) 

who would even be best for pellinore family rep. id say torr cus i LIKE him but lamorak most likely would be. (torr absolutely has a farm themed ground gym :-)! lamorak is. a harder case??? (bug?? maybe fighting actually.... hm) 

i desperately want to throw palamides in for fun. (psychic..... god psychic.) 

and im out of ideas . whoops . this slaps tho i love a good pokemon au.................................................... i luv the think about the it......... 

#Anonymous

[imaginethathaikyuu]

haikyuu as vines let’s go sis

lets FUCKING GO

[all vines are linked for your convenience] 

hinata anytime he sees someone at the bathroom and they underestimate him- honey, you got a big storm coming

oikawa- bitch gon’ step on my fucking toe bitch with the fuckin cowgirl fucking boots bitch disgusting

tsukishima- um tobio, can you read number 23 for the class?kageyama- no i cannot. what up, i’m tobio, i’m 19, and i never fucking learned how to read

ukai- [stumbling into the gym] why aren’t the dishes in alphabetical order?!hinata- what does that even mean

tsukishima- [to kageyama about sharing a room at camp] oh, by the way, i talk in my sleepkageyama- oh yeah that’s finetsukishima- [asleep] fuck you kageyama, you ugly piece of shit turtle looking mother fucking cunt looking rat [throws pillow at kageyama]

hinata- but i woke up every da-aye oh shit

bokuto- on all levels except physical, i am a wolf            ʳᵘᶠᶠ

tanaka- [watching daichi laying on the court, hurt] ms keisha… ms keisha! ms keisha? oh my fucking god she fucking dead

nishinoya- mom i have something to tell yousugawara- what is it honey?nishinoya- um… i got an uh-bOr-tion

kuroo- bro i had a dream we fuckedtsukishima- bro it’s just a dreamkuroo- hah gay i wouldn’t fuck youtsukishima- …you wouldn’t?kuroo- i mean unless you want to

tendou- next time you fucking put a hand on me, i’ma fucking rip your face of bitch

kageyama- dude i thought you can - i thought you could do a kickfliphinata when he actually starts looking at the ball but keeps missing- i can! i can, i did one this morning

asahi quitting the team- when there’s too much drama at school, all you gotta do is, walk awa-e-ay-e-ay-e-ayy

bokuto to akaashi convincing him to set the ball to him- this one’s to end racism! [misses]

me to akaashi- country boyyy i love youuu :P

hinata- hey guys im here with my boyfriend today is his birthday happy birthday kenma flavio

bokuto- [throws frisbee into the road]akaashi- what the fuck bokuto-san richard

tanaka- hey loser. say kid, backwards.kageyama- dick?tanaka- hahahahaha that’s gay

tanaka- [shoots gun in house]saeko- this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you

terushima- haha, aye, it’s ya boy… uhh… skinny penis

oikawa- this is how i enter my house [walks into gym] WHAT’S UP, FUCKERS?iwaizumi- why do you have my phone :(oikawa- FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY

semi- i want a jewish girl that go to.. temple? and read her torah

me to akaashi- i love you, bitch. i aint gon’ ever stop loving you. bitch.

i hope you enjoyed. 

#tell me in my inbox which one is most accurate #oh my god this took SO LONG #please appreciate this #haikyuu!! #vines #these are some of my fav vines btw #i would love to do this again ngl jdkfsdk #haikyuu as vines #hinata shoyo #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #tanaka ryuunosuke #nishinoya yuu #sugawara koushi #asahi azumane #sawamura daichi #akaashi keiji #bokuto koutarou #kuroo tetsurou #kenma kozume #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #ushijima wakatoshi #tendou satori #semi eita #everyone