#got a tattoo specifically of the man he made out with/had sex with. dude. my brother is gay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luvv-maxx · 5 months

Text

|: Call of Duty HC 🫶 :|

Note : This is my first post, other than the intro post, so Don’t get all mad if I misspell anything or I have a certain HC you don’t agree with. 💕

Characters mentioned : John price, Simon Riley, John Mactavish, Kyle Garrick, Kate Laswell, Nikolai, Alex Keller, and Farrah Karim ‼️💕 the sillies

John Price-

Greatest and most stressed father of the year award.

💥 silly Quokka smile💥

Y’know those iq ads that show the older you are, the less you know? He gets so offended by that so he tries playing it to show he isn’t dumb, but gets pissed when they just aren’t interactive and send him to the download page.

He’s an animal dude, he can rock with any animal you put him next to. But I am guessing, personally, that he was like obsessed with black bears specifically. Nobody knew why. He just found them cool and amazing as a kid, and still does.

He has that old dad cough that sounds like he’s dying of influenza. AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIS SNOR—

You know how some dads hug and sway you and themselves as you hug? He does that. He got that treatment when he was younger, it conditioned onto him. When he first did it to Simon, MF was confused as shit and gave the most horrendous and judgmental side eye after they finished the hug.

speaking of the others, They will get spooked like cats when Price suddenly sneezes like a bazooka or coughs like he just smoked 20 packs of cigarettes at once. Especially Kyle, he most definitely had a heart attack the first time he heard Price cough twice in a row thinking he was dying.

Supportive ahh bisexual dad.💕🥺

Gives off “Hey Gay, I’m Dad!” Jokes if you came out to him.

Simon “Ghost” Riley

I both Can and can’t see why people simp for this man.

sure, He makes booktok people horny af for his mask and deep British accent, his tattoos, the fact he could break their neck in one morsel of strength but would decide not to if he knew them, etc etc.

but that’s most likely from trauma, both unresolved and buried down or spoken about like jokes but gets angered when someone jokes about it. (Both is me. I’m those examples. Yippeee ‼️)

breakfast. He isn’t picky but he is. Beans? Fuck that shit, Burn. BURN. However, the most darkest and traumatic tasting coffee ever grounded from the pits of hell itself just made for the traumatized Masked man? Sure. Call it a cup of FUCKING JOE.

Though he doesn’t sneeze or cough like Price does, He sleeps dying influenza patient Victorian man style. First time he and Soap were forced to sleep together, Soap woke up miraculously early, thought he died and cried there for 20 minutes before Ghost woke up all tired like he was hibernating.

I think he loves Riley for not only is she just adorable and a great dog, She is the best thing to have when dealing with snakes.

He was fixated on one animal when he was younger. Motherfucking Raccoons. He found them so hilarious and goofy as a kid, he now fell in love with a man who is the human embodiment and reincarnation of the raccoon king.

One pet peeve Ghost has is when someone smacks their lips. No matter what, you smack your lips, he smacks you too. He’s that badass mum that goes “Keep smacking them lips, I’ll smack you.” While cracking his knuckles viscously.

Traumatized gay man. 😔💪

John “Soap” Mactavish :

Listen, He likes bubble baths. That’s a pretty well known fact. But.. Have you ever considered.. He may try doing Romantic dates in a bath tub? He’ll do those corny but sweet rose petal trails to a bathtub filled with bubbles and rubber ducks with a goddamn rose in his mouth seductively.

anyways, hope your happy with that visual. He most definitely does the continuous bumping his wrists together, not knowing he’s saying ‘hard sex’ in ASL. (I did this multiple times, both before and after. It’s unconsciously stuck to me. I fear myself only.)

If he ever visited England to see his boyfriend Lieutenant, Ghost, nobody could fucking understand him. But when Ghost visits Soap, Everybody sounds so fucking confusing to Ghost that he just walked out into a forest for a lap. Like when people read a cringy sentence and have to put their phones down, walk around their house two or three times, before going back.

He makes fun of Kyle whenever Helicopters are mentioned in a convo, just like making puns to piss him off.

“ Oi Gaz, do ye like the band ‘The fall out boys’? ” while giggling like a mean middle school girl. 😔✊

He likes frogs. Did as a kid, still does now. But the catch is, He cannot go towards one if his entire life was on the line. Like, He finds them cute but nearly pisses himself when They jump towards him.

silly little bisexual ‼️😊

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick:

So. You wanna hear my head canons of my Husband? /Jkjk—

I could imagine this dude was judgmental as a kid, full on mama’s Boy conversation with his mama like “ Let me guess, Aunt Stephanie said this! She is always talking crap about you, Mama, but I don’t see dad coming home with a new hickey every weekend. “

when someone goes low, he goes the lowEST.

I like to think he has a sister or two who influenced him on skincare, periods (for if he pulls anyone with period hauntings), and how to style various hairstyles just so his sisters didn’t have to pay a shit ton of money for the same hairstyle.

Do any of you guys just.. think this man bakes? Just baking when he’s bored or stressed. No thoughts. Just cookies.

He loved otters as a kid, but now finds Pallas cats better.

trust that he has heard tea from nearly every country that even agents don’t know about.

Bisexual. Leaning more towards mlm but nonetheless free-styling .

Kate Laswell :

the queen. The majesty. The LESBIAN MUM.

I like to imagine her wife is the ultimate mastermind, Like Kate is just the boss of tf141 but instantly does any bidding her wife asks her to do.

She’d be a great aunt, Mum would be even better.

I bet she met her wife in either a serene area like a flower shop or a bloodlust filled chaos like the battlefield. Two ways this could go. No in-between. Retired lesbian medic, Or Flowershop owner.

Kate seemed like the girl to like Penguins for not only their cuteness but their habitats , their diet, their life, and everything about them.

Would I be wrong to say that she most definitely got a piercing when she was a teen but took it out some time later?

She’d be a great friend to have, she’d be the one who’d order for you if you’re nervous.

You cannot FUCKING. DENY. That she has a border collie with a sweet name like Dolly

She has a wide range of music, but Music from Dolly Parton inspires her. Just imagine it.

a canonical lesbian with immense sarcasm.

Alex Keller :

Mmm the white man. /jk

He seems like he’d be the average uncle. I actually have an uncle that looks sorta like him, but balding brown hair and is named Corey.

He most definitely had a golden retriever or Siberian husky as a kid, some dog breed that’s hella energetic.

i can imagine how Any dog interaction he has now, they always try at least once to steal his leg like fetch.

He regretfully wore old spice when he was a teen but thankfully stopped after smelling himself.

He seemed to have played baseball as a kid. He just gives off that vibe.

He most definitely mispronounces easy af words on accident when distracted.

speaking of that, he seems to be a baking when stress kind of dude but also, if he did that, he’d pause halfway through cause he got distracted then forgets what he was doing. The only reminder being the burning kitchen after thirty minutes of distractions.

Silly little pansexual ‼️💕

Farah Karim

would i be wrong to headcannon that she would be the best muffin maker? Like even better than Gaz and Laswell.

She is so pretty ‼️

her favorite animal once was hedgehogs but now it’s lionesses. A massive change but both great animals.

I bet when she was a kid that she would threaten to bite people, and when in fights, actually did bite people. Worth it. (i have done this before as a kid. Proud af)

She would rock those black a leopard print sunglasses mums wear to beaches. Just think of it.

I wanna think that she had once owned those rabid chihuahuas and called the dog something sweet and unsuspecting like “Mr. sprinkles” for the fun and hell of it.

silly little demiromantic bisexual 🫶💕‼️

#call of duty #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john price #farah karim #alex keller #kyle gaz garrick #kate laswell #headcanon #headcannons #my headcanons #silly stuff #silly post

44 notes · View notes

whysojiminimnida · 2 years

Note

jk in bed with jm "you're mine", then he changes room and go in tae's bed saying "you're mine". what a boyfriend (of?....i don't know, he has 2 boyfriends at this point)

Now there's a fanfiction for ya, anon. DISCLAIMER THIS IS AN ALL-ASK ANSWER AND IS NOT SPECIFIC TO THIS ANON OKAY OKAY ANYWAY HERE WE GOOOOO

Now personally I stan a poly king, I don't know your A/S/L (that's Old People Internet for age/sex/location) but as legal adults of as-yet-undetermined but definitely not 100% straight orientation, I'd say GET OFF THEIR DICKS AND LET PEOPLE LIVE.

FFS anon. You out here thinking Tae and Jimin wouldn't be getting it on if they wanted to? They absolutely would IF, and it's a really big IF, Tae was even into guys or Jimin was even interested like that.

But at no time before or since "get out of your imagination, it's not good there" has Taehyung EVER said he was into either of them like that. And if it was one of them it wouldn't be Kook. I MEAN SOULMATES OR WHATEVER Tae has to be all cool with everyone else but with Jimin he can let his derp face fly and let the pretty man steal his hat--

Meanwhile Jungkook will toy with y'all because YOU WANT HIM TO SO BADLY YOU SAY THAT SHIT IN HIS INSTAGRAM AND ON WEVERSE FFS you kids left boundaries back there in 2016 well before some of y'all knew what a tumblr even WAS. Oh sure. He jokes he giggles he flirts because IT IS HIS JOB and make no mistake HE IS AT WORK answering your asses, WFH is a thing, but sometimes he has enough because y'all literally cannot simply WATCH A VLIVE AND READ A ROOM.

At this point if you're NOT picking up what the Jeon-Parks are throwing down EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM then I honestly have to assume you are a virgin, stupid, or so repressed you can't see daylight. It's more than obvious to literally anyone who gets laid on the regular, goes outdoors and has friends. And it's beyond incomprehensible if you still don't get it. Honestly it's Theatre of the Absurd. Jungkook has to truly believe you're joking. HE HAS THE SUN (or perhaps a sunflower) TATTOOED ON HIS ARM WHERE A TIGER USED TO BE FFS. Like

do wish that Hangul made an all-caps version BUT IT DOESN'T AND WHY NOT I WANT TO KNOW but I digress. He did say this. Again. Fourth time in a row kids. And you don't think he gets fifty million Tae questions every time he goes live? He does. He only answers them when there has been a Meeting about Keeping It On The Low While The Exemptions Are Still In Legislation. Y'all think I'm kidding. I am not kidding. That happened.

Meeting or not, though, Jungkook is the man to tell you. Jimin is HIS. Not his, not heh-heh-that's-cute his, not we bffs casual his, HIS. Loudly. Dude bout yelled the airpods out my ears. And then goes on to play a little, flirt a little, give the fans what they want but eventually he has had enough. I mean y'all might not have noticed but THE VIDEO ENDED ON HIS TELLING PEOPLE OFF like damn, sir. We understand you are an adult. We got it. You're GROWN OKAY.

... And some of this fandom needs to get out of these men's assholes before they can't even get a proper colonoscopy because there's too many raging solo stans up in there telling a guy how to live. .

#okay so that was long #anon #all yall got shit to say istg #consider this a one answer fits all situation #we stan a poly king or 3 what #we stan a poly king in this house #jeon parks continue jeonparking despite your opinion #must be 2022 at the jeon park household #taehyung #taehyung is awesome #istg kanmom said ride in on your white donkey and i lost my shit and spit my starbucks onto my sheets and had to do laundry #my answers suck by comparison but here we are #jikook #jimin #jungkook #jeikei #jeikei more like jaygay get into it #y'all never gonna let taehyung have a girlfriend not one time are you

147 notes · View notes

americachavez · 3 years

Note

did cas really tell dean to kneel before their new god? did that actually happen? i thought him beating the shit out of dean in that alley was the most unrestrainedly horny thing this show had ever done ACTUALLY you know what scratch that new question: top horny moments from the cw's supernatural (2005 - 2020)

getting this ask feels like my sins of the last week have been weighed against the Trials I Have Gone Through since the premier of supernatural on the wb in september of 2005 and I’m not sure if it is a punishment or reward

some notes before we begin:

the ep with dean’s male siren was like, conceptually horny but not actually that horny because the dude was uglie. I’m sorry to this man

all you sam girls out there. I respect you but I do not respect jared padalecki who is JUST tall and has zero sex appeal. but those eps where he’s like, drinking ruby’s blood and then eating her pussy are. you know. I’ll give you that

I am ONLY UP TO SEASON 10 so fair warning this is not comprehensive but the horniness does seem to drop off sharply after the mark of cain is no longer in play lol gotta love a good demon murder tattoo plot

this is easily the most insane thing I’ve ever done, including the destiel manifesto

S1 EP12: the scene where dean gets healed by the faith healer, on his knees with a hand in his hair and looking somewhere between religious ecstasy, brain death and an orgasm. starting this list off great

S1 EP22: azazel possessing john winchester. no I will not explain further if u know u know <3

S3 EP10: dean being taunted by a dream version of himself, this is where we first got the daddy’s blunt little instrument line. still burned in my hippocampus a good 13 years later thank yew

S4 EP1: dean crawling out of his own grave covered in grave dirt. hot. the HANDPRINT. HOT. also tangent but this reveal after the s3 finale was WILD back in 2008 I hollered in my dorm room after canvassing for obama. simpler times man

S4 EP 1: cas’ intro scene. the barn. the shadow wings. the hair??? getting stabbed in the chest by the man you just pulled out of hell. getting aaaallll up in that personal space. his little eyebrow. “you don’t think you deserve to be saved.” OUTRAGEOUSLY FLAMING

S4 EP02: “I dragged you out of hell I can throw you back in.” <<< this angel tops. mark dean down as scared and horny etc

S4 EP16: this ENTIRE EPISODE but specifically the part where dean tortures alastair as some kind of foreplay and then alastair kicks his ass. carved you into a new animal. jesus.

S4 EP16: wait I forgot about the part where cas also gets his ass kicked and looks all....hm. dazed and covered in blood while he’s on his knees and about to die. yeah.

S5 EP4: I mean this entire ep is unfairly horny considering everyone is dying of a zombie plague and hasn’t showered in like, 4 years but if I had to pick one hmmm. the dean/dean interrogation scene with the panty kink yeah I know it’s not original but hm. it happened. also misha collins just being able to convey that CAS IS A FLEXIBLE SLUT with a single roll of his shoulders. who SAYS this man can’t act!!!!!

S5 EP18: the ALLEY SCENE. DEAN DOESN’T FIGHT BACK. CAS HOLDS HIM UP OFF THE GROUND AND THEN THROWS HIM ACROSS THE ALLEY. WHY DID EVERYONE THINK CAS COULDN’T TOP. you all had brainworms.

S5 EP18: when cas locks dean in the panic room to stop him from saying yes to michael and “well cas not for nothing but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” I hate this show. wait I think the blow me cas line is in this episode too what the fuck were they on here

S6 EP5: the scene where dean gets turned into a vampire. between the old dude who I think calls dean a pretty boy (??) and soulless sam....watching??? no ******* but there were just some absolutely foul energies in that scene and I still do not understand WHAT they were thinking

S6 EP20: cas doing a double smite on two demons by slamming them to the ground and then shoving another demon back in its vessel and then smiting him in the same motion. TOP. ENERGY.

S6 EP22: season 6 is possibly cas’ horniest season because he’s like, going through angel puberty after getting his first boner for dean, but the final cas eps are. whoof. cas eats a bunch of souls and proclaims himself to be a new god in order to handle said boner, and then the season ends with cas telling them to bow down and profess their love to him, their new lord, or he will destroy them. note: the way this is framed makes it look like cas is only staring at dean while he says this, even though sam and bobby are also there. the season ends with dramatic zooms on both cas and dean’s faces respectively. this made me actively regret ditching this show after s5 lol

S8 EP??: literally EVERY SINGLE PURGATORY FLASHBACK. cas dean and benny are all purgatory hot in the “pop 10 cranberry pills and risk the UTI” kind of way but also. dean being the hot girl bottom between two tops who hate each other. I really. whew. I need to go take a shower.

S8 EP17: if I get canceled for including the crypt scene on this list I blame you bud. but dean on his knees begging a brainwashed cas to stop killing him WAS sexy. how many times has dean been on his knees in this list wait there’s another one coming up next jsldjfsldkjf

S9 EP2: abaddon getting dean on his knees (YEAH) and pulling his hair and praising him for always coming when called HELLO???? the only thing that ruins this is dean says “I can’t tell if we’re gonna fight or make out” because this is the CW and they won’t let him say fuck

S9 EP6: ah. this entire episode is Emotionally Horny but the horny horny part is when they’re in the car and dean is telling cas to unbutton his shirt and. watches. I know this was on my destiel manifesto but I need it here too

S9 EP9: cas, covered in blood, slitting another angel’s throat and eating his grace after getting tortured. that shot alone made me understand why this website was so goddamn horny for misha collins for nearly a damn decade

S9 EP11: MARK OF CAIN BABEY. cain watching dean beat up a bunch of demons as an audition for taking on the mark, while crowley also is a fucking voyeur to the whole thing. cain is also a hot silver fox with daddy energies. I said what I said

S9 EP 16: dean getting the first blade. he’s chained to a pillar and being menaced by a foppish dandy who wants to add him to his “collection” (WOW). dean then kills him with the blade and whew. murder is sexy sometimes

S9 EP21: dean being pinned against a wall by abaddon’s power, then using the mark of cain to break her hold, calling the first blade to him psychically and then killing her. god the mark of cain is hot

S9 EP23: dean waking up with the demon eyes NUT

S10 EP2: demon dean beating up that dude with the boring backstory and kicking his ass. really was a go on baby I got your flower moment because I hated that dude and I love demon dean

S10 EP3: demon dean being chained up and taunting sam about how his brother is gone, then hunting sam through the bunker. demon dean in general was VERY fun for me, someone who loves trash

S10 EP9: dean going berserk and killing a bunch of pedophile rapists/child abusers. I’m sorry I know this show is trying to preach morality at me about monsters and unnecessary murder and humanity or whatever but we blew past that like 8 SEASONS AGO. also the mark of cain is sexy

S10 EP14: the rest of this list is really gonna be mark of cain stuff isn’t it look I’m here to have fun. cain and dean’s fight. cain continuously tossing his mane of hair back and taunting dean with the picture of what he’s going to become, who he’s going to kill. dean begging cain to tell him that he can stop, and then ultimately killing him. rip daddy.

S11 EP4: again I have not watched this however. every shot of this episode is PRESTIGE TELEVISION because driving a muscle car is sexy. and especially the shot of dean all beat to hell and begging his car to start and giving her a little kiss from his fingers to her dash. ugh. masculinity.

S12 EP10: the bearded salt-and-pepper daddy look returns, only it’s an angel this time and he’s wearing a vest and shirtsleeves and he swordfights with a hot redheaded lady in a suit and an eyepatch. this show is good sometimes!!! and oh fuck lol I just realized this is the same guy who played krissy’s hot hunter dad in s7 probably the first guy who’s hotter as an angel than a hunter. huh.

S12 EP 11: dean riding larry the mechanical bull to “broomstick cowboy.” I have no idea where this factors into the ep but I have seen. the youtube clip

S13 EP23: from what I can tell s13 is way more emotionally horny than boner horny, although dean burning cas’ body was sexy. but the horniest part was dean saying yes to michael and then michael taking over and saying “thanks for the suit.” we are going to ignore the silliest fight scene in existence as well as the final shot ending on a FREEZE FRAME like a goddamn tiktok

S14: not gonna pick a specific moment because I have not watched yet!!! but michael dean is hot. idk why michael is weirdly hot and I cannot stand any iteration of lucifer on this television programme. it should be the reverse but I’m forever an older sibling stan apparently. someone who is catholic could probably explain this better.

S15 EP13: genevieve padalecki and danneel ackles fight flirting as ruby and anael I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY HELD OUT ON THIS TILL THE LAST SEASON

I know I am missing things but this is already an absolutely incomprehensible screed. I know I’m missing shit from the latter seasons but give me time I’m pacing myself

#reply tag #spn tag #literally no one read this lol this is insane #Anonymous

304 notes · View notes

scoobydoofenshmirtz · 3 years

Text

LGBTQ Supernatural Character Breakdown

Okay so yesterday I posted this lovely screenshot of yet another stupid reddit post about spn that I thought was funny and shrugged off as another reddit dudebro thing. However, then @thehappyearth went and actually read through the thread and reported back with results. The opinions of OP were unsurprising, but they got me thinking. Part of the post reads "I would prefer a neutral show that doesn't aim to include LGBT people in nearly every episode.. its unrealistic unless they are in a location where this holds true..example (California)". Now that's ridiculous for a lot of reasons. 1) Not having LGBT people in a show does not make it "neutral." Cishet is not the default human experience, neither is male, nor white nor able-bodied, etc. 2) It's not "unrealistic" to have LGBT in literally any location in the world. We exist everywhere you go. Yes, certain places tend to attract LGBT adults and families due to their culture, legal protections, history, etc. but it's not like there's something in San Francisco water that just makes people there gay at a higher percentage. I assure you, reddit user, there are LGBTQ people in every single place Sam and Dean have visited in the show. 3) like literally it's just homophobic shut up reddit bros. ANWAY...

But what really got me thinking was the "nearly every episode" comment. Like, dude. What show are you watching? But then I thought...wait how many LGBTQ characters actually are there in Supernatural, so I did a little digging and compiled this list (google sheets) of every LGBTQ character to appear on screen. This doesn't include characters who are only mentioned (although there aren't many to add with that anyway). I looked into some different criteria and I included each character, the number of episodes they appeared in, their first and last episode, how many episodes they appeared in as a confirmed LGBTQ character, their sexuality, if they speak or not, and if they died. I also included a description and notes, and noted which characters were in episodes nominated for GLAAD awards. I also included "ambiguous" characters who I either felt weren't "confirmed" as LGBTQ (like the man who is possibly a gay porn star or the sassy yorkie) but in that realm, or characters where there were bigger issues that make it more complicated (Dean, Crowley, and Rowena).

And then I got curious and made a whole second spreadsheet with a list of all the episodes featuring confirmed LGBTQ characters. I included which characters are featured, if it includes an LGBTQ couple, if it features an LGBTQ storyline important to the plot, if it features a recurring LGBTQ character, if any LGBTQ character dies, if it was nominated for a GLAAD award, and my opinion on if it's homophobic. I only included episodes where a character was confirmed LGBTQ when it aired, however I did include retroactively LGBTQ characters when listing what recurring characters are featured.

Some findings under the cut:

I counted a total of 32 on screen (reasonably) confirmed LGBTQ characters in all of Supernatural (for the purposes of this I have counted Charlie and apocalypse Charlie as separate characters). Now when I say confirmed this is a range from Charlie to characters who had a same sex kiss in the background. There is a chance I have missed some, so if you look through this and notice someone missing, please let me know. (Also sidenote I say LGBTQ but there's no confirmed trans characters as far as I could tell). That's an average of 2.13 per season. There are 9 recurring characters and 23 that only appear once. There are 6 with 3 or more episodes. The only characters that appeared in more than 2 episodes while confirmed as an LGBTQ character are Charlie (apocalypse world and regular) and Chuck. Of all these characters 10 are dead (with three of these presumably resurrected off screen) and 22 survived.

If we break it down by era Kripke had 4 with 0 recurring characters and half and half dead/alive. This is .8 per season average. Gamble had 3 and (at the time) none were recurring and none died. This is 1.5 per season average. Carver had 10 including making Chuck bisexual. Charlie also became a recurring character (then she died). This is 2.5 per season average. Dabb has 15 including Castiel and Claire. This included 7 recurring characters and 8 one offs, and 8 alive and 7 dead. This is 3.75 per season average.

As far as sexualities go, we have 3 (presumably) lesbian characters (2 Charlies and Donna's niece) 3 gay characters (Max Banes and 2 one offs who die) and 2 bisexual characters (Chuck and Noah the gorgon). No single character ever refers to themself by any sexuality as far as I can tell, but Alan J Corbett (Ghostfacers intern) and Conner (from the church) are both referred to as gay by other characters. Everyone else I based on context. All the other characters were unspecified as to their specific sexualities.

In terms of episodes with confirmed LGBTQ characters (so characters who at the time the episode was written were reasonably confirmed as LGBTQ) we have 39 total, a bulk of them being episodes that feature either Chuck or Charlie. That's about 12% of all SPN episodes. If you take out episodes that only include either Chuck or Charlie as the confirmed character you have 20 left which is 6.25% of all SPN episodes.

There are 12 episodes that feature an LGBTQ couple, 3.75% of all episodes. There are, by my count, 9 episodes with an LGBTQ storyline important to the plot or 2.8% of episodes. I know this is more subjective but I included Ghostfacers, Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo, LARP and the Real Girl, Sacrifice, The Chitters, Wayward Sisters, Ouroboros, Gimme Shelter, and Despair.

If we break down writers from who has the most episodes with confirmed LGBTQ characters Robbie Thompson comes in the lead with 9, Buckleming next with 6, Bobo and Dabb with 5, Yockey and Glynn with 4, Davy Perez with 3, and Nick Vaught, Nancy Won, Nancy Weiner, Eric Kripke, Jeremy Carver, Sera Gamble, Brett Matthews, and Bed Edlund all having 1. As far as writers who introduced new LGBTQ characters or canonized previously existing ones we have again Robbie Thompson in the lead with 7, Dabb with 6 (although 4 were from co-written episodes), Berens with 4, Yockey and Glynn with 3, Brett Matthews, Davy Perez, Nancy Weiner, Eric Kripke, and Nancy Won all with 2. Gamble and Edlund each have 1 and Buckleming sort of have 1 since they introduced apocalypse world Charlie. All of this is quantity not quality, so keep that in mind.

As far as deaths go, Bobo has the most with 3.5. 3 of those are from Despair where the characters were all (possibly) resurrected and the .5 is for Kaia who later turned out to not actually be dead. Yockey has 2 (both from Ouroboros). Edlund, Glynn, Perez, and Gamble all have 1 and Dabb also has .5 for cowriting Wayward Sisters.

The LGBTQ character who appears in the most episodes is very obviously Castiel who appears in 142 total episodes. Chuck is next with 19 and then Charlie with 7. Chuck has the most episodes as a confirmed LGBTQ character with 12 total and Charlie has 7.

Apologies if any of the math on this is wrong or if I left anyone out. Feel free to let me know and I'll correct the documents.

So really I don't know why I did this but basically yeah I don't know what fantasy world those reddit dudes are living in with LGBT people in nearly every episode (unless he's counting Castiel which...win for the gays I guess?). Nothing about this was particularly surprising but it's interesting to see all these things laid out and play around with the categories. Um...hope you enjoyed this i guess. lol

#supernatural #spn #spn meta #castiel #charlie bradbury #long post #also thank you robbie thompson you gave us 7 total gays and did not kill a single one #good job king

41 notes · View notes

watermelonsugawara · 4 years

Text

Leave Your Mark

❥ warnings: nsfw; needles (tattooing), pain kink is that what u call it? LMFAO IDK, semi public sex???, handjob, fellatio, slight edging, face sitting, fingering, mild dacryphilia woops, unprotected sex, creampie

❥ characters: iwaizumi x tattoo artist!fem!reader

❥ a/n: so i had this idea and it was originally meant to be ukai x reader ,,,, BUT ive never written about iwa yet SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i thought it was his time to fuckin SHINE

ALSO i half assed my editing so dont bully me <///3

❥ summary: you’ve given countless thigh tattoos to clients before, but this specific client had a particular liking towards pain.

wc: dude idek like 3k+ ?? JFJSJDJDH

...

The familiar chime of the tattoo parlor doorbell caught your attention as you finished cleaning your needles. You were the one closing up shop, so you knew that there’s only one reason for the ringing of the door, your last client of the day.

You’d seen him in the shop before, but he had gotten a tattoo from one of your coworkers. Nevertheless, he caught your eye even for the short moments you saw him passing through the shop. He was undeniably attractive, so it was even better to see him up close when he discussed tattoo details with you in previous meetings.

“Nice to see you again, Iwaizumi,” you said as you sauntered behind the counter. He nodded in greeting as you shuffled through a binder to find the tattoo you designed for him. A dragon, surrounded by cherry blossom flowers. It was a pain in the ass to draw but you were enthralled to put the art somewhere permanently.

Iwaizumi leaned forward against the glass counter to get a better admire your work. His shirt wrapped tightly around his biceps just right, the thin material giving subtle hints to his toned shoulders and chest underneath. Always so handsome upclose.

“You ready?” You smiled at him, motioning him towards the tiny nook of your tattooing station.

“Yep, I’m very excited,” Iwaizumi grinned back. Unbeknownst to you, the actual tattoo was only half the fun for him.

As you finished gathering your supplies, Iwaizumi stepped out of his jeans and lied down on the leather bench. You kept your routine speech short as the dark-haired man relaxed into the cool black material, knowing you’d have to review aftercare with him at the end of the session anyways.

Everything went like clockwork— shaving, sanitizing, tracing. The tattoo was centered on his right thigh, and you couldn’t help but notice how thick his thighs were as you traced the image. The occasional flex of his muscles under your touches only added to the curiosity swirling in your mind. Probably a strict workout regime, played a sport or two in high school.

Your silent admiration for his body was short-lived as you zeroed your focus towards what would be the next few hours of work. Your foot prodded at the pedal, the subtle buzz of the machine overlapping with the music playing through the shop, with the occasional small talk sprinkled in.

It’s fine. Slight fidgeting is fine; you learned how to adjust to it after your years in the tattooing business. After all, it is a bunch of needles repeatedly piercing into the skin, what other reaction would you expect? However, Iwaizumi’s restlessness was constant, his breathing erractic, even when you’d pause to wipe the excess ink trailing on his skin. Every touch seemed to make his breath hitch and the muscle of his thigh become rigid. Occasional flexing became frequent fidgeting, to the point where even at your skill level, you didn’t want your work ruined by a slip of the hand.

“Are you sure you’re doin’ okay?” You asked as you lifted the tattooing gun off of his skin. You looked up at him, your concerned voice laced with a hint of frustration. “We can take a break if it’s hurting you too m-”

“No it’s fine, you can keep going,” Iwaizumi cut off your thoughts, his slightly choked out response catching you by surprise. He sounded out of breath, and his cheeks were flushed a deep shade.

Throughout the entire session up to this point, you had been mentally racking through the rolodex in your brain of common reactions to getting a tattoo — general nervousness, fear of needles, fear of pain. But this... seemed different. Could it be arousal? You couldn’t even be sure. And even if it was that, this surely is new territory for you.

Iwaizumi looked back at you for just a moment, but there was a dark glimmer in his eyes that was impossible to miss. Mixed with the blushing cheeks and shallow breathing, the gears finally began to move in your brain, and he knew it. His eyes screwed shut, hoping you’d hear his silent pleas to just continue with the session.

It felt so wrong to be right. There’s still a chance, though, that you jumped to conclusions too quickly, overanalyzed the look in his eyes. Yet you couldn’t even stop tourself as your eyes trailed down to the tent straining against his underwear. Your eyes widened at the sight, the heather gray fabric outlining his cock deliciously.

You definitely shouldn’t have stared for as long as you did.

What the fuck has gotten into you? You knew this was wrong, that you were a professional, and most importantly, you sure as hell weren’t proud of the feeling this was giving you. Your brain was telling you to stop, but the growing wet spot in your panties brought along a much more exciting version of how this night would end. You lifted your foot off the pedal, the buzzing of your machine coming to an abrupt stop and placing on the rolling tray beside you.

“I think you do need a break,” you said nonchalantly, peeling your black latex gloves off of your hands. You waited for a response, a sign of life in the man laid on the bench in front of you, keen on getting an answer from him even though you knew you’d never get it. All you got in return was a dumbfounded expression painted across Iwaizumi’s face.

The piercing of the needles that would otherwise make people nervous actually excited Iwaizumi, the adrenaline coursing through his veins from the pressure. It was something about the controlled pain, the sharp stung along his sensitive skin that had his blood rushing straight to his cock. But he was usually pretty good about keeping his composure while getting tattoos from other artists. This time was different though— a shoulder or back tattoo was much less intimate than this one, your pretty face just mere inches away from his dick.

“[Y/N],” he whispered, slightly surprised that he was even able to utter your name. He held his breath, partially to preserve whatever air you didn’t knock out of his lungs from your previous words, partially out of anticipation for your next ones.

“Let me help you. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” you smirked, your eyes flickering briefly at his unfinished tattoo on his thigh and back up to his face. “Do you want me to help you?”

You looked up at him with such soft eyes, while you both knew damn well that innocence was not in the cards tonight.

He nodded as he propped himself up on his forearms, and watching your hands ghosted over his cock. You lightly squeezed as you ran your hand up and down his length, smirking as Iwaizumi’s precum created a dark spot on his underwear.

He lifted his hips and you obliged to his request without even needing to hear it. You hooked your fingers on the elastic of his underwear, pulling down to free his throbbing cock.

Fuck, he was big.

You climbed onto the bench with him, straddling his legs. His cock was heavy in your hand, your fingertips barely touching as you wrapped your small hand around the base. You licked a long stripe up from Iwaizumi’s balls to the tip of his cock, your hot tongue making him clench his jaw, biting back a groan. You flicked your wrist, letting Iwaizumi’s cock hit your tongue, the lewd slapping noises making him whimper. You swirled your tongue along the head of his cock before taking his length into your mouth, stroking what you couldn’t fit in your hands. It felt like your jaw was going to snap from trying to fit his fat cock into your mouth.

Your hands were so small, your mouth was so soft and wet; it was such a stark difference from the intense prick of the needles on his skin just moments ago. It made Iwaizumi’s cock twitch knowing you could bring him so much pain and pleasure simultaneously.

“Fuck yes, just like that, [Y/N], fuck,” Iwaizumi groaned, watching your pretty plump lips wrap around his shaft.

You shallowly bobbed your head before coming all the way down to try and take his entire cock into your mouth. The sudden jolt of pleasure of you gagging made Iwaizumi buck his hips, pushing his cock farther down your throat than you thought you could even take it. Your lips reached the base of his cock, tears pricking the corners of your eyes.

Iwaizumi repeatedly rammed his hips upwards, eager to feel you gag around his cock again. Tears were falling freely down your face, blurring your vision as you desparately gasped for air. Fuck, he was already so close.

However, as much as Iwaizumi wanted to shoot his hot load down your throat, he knew he wanted you to come all over his face even more. A soft tap on your shoulder had you quickly pulling away from Iwaizumi, coughing and catching your breath as you sat upright. You got up to remove your jeans and underwear as he removed his own shirt. Iwaizumi’s large hands immediately found purchase on your ass when you straddled him again.

“Sit on my face, please pretty girl,” Iwaizumi groaned, his hands still kneading the soft flesh of your hips and ass. He laid back against the bench once more, his eyes fixated on your pussy above him. You sat down, his tongue immediately flat against your folds to taste your juices. He wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking and drawing circles with his tongue, before pushing his tongue into your tight hole.

It was damn near impossible to keep yourself upright, Iwaizumi’s hot tongue pushing into you, his hands roaming all over your body, pushing your bra and shirt away to grab your breasts. You ripped off the remainder of your clothes as he rolled your sensitive nipples between his fingertips.

“Yes yes yes, Iwa, fuuuuck,” you whined, carding your fingers through his hair. The apex of his nose brushed against your clit and you rolled your hips against him, the vibrations of his moans against your cunt sending you over the edge.

Your thighs clamped around Iwaizumi’s head as you let out one last choked out moan, your spongy walls clenching around his tongue as you came.

You moved back to kneel above Iwaizumi’s hips, the fluorescent lights of the shop highlighting your juices all over his face.

“You still haven’t helped me out yet, [Y/N],” Iwaizumi smirked, stroking his cock. His other hand reached down to your cunt, pushing a finger into your sensitive hole. You sucked in a sharp breath as you barely came down from your first high, but before you could retort, Iwaizumi cut you off.

“You’re gonna need the prep, baby.” Although his voice was playful, you knew he meant it wholeheartedly, as you were reminded of the thick girth of his cock by the subtle ache of your jaw. Iwaizumi plunged another finger into you, making your thighs tremble.

You looked so fucking beautiful above him. Mascara running down your cheeks, mouth hanging open, moans echoing through the empty shop. He just couldn’t wait to stuff your tight little cunt full of his fat cock.

Iwaizumi pulled his fingers out of you with a loud squelch, spitting on his hand and pumping his length a few times as you caught your breath. He teased the swollen tip of his cock at your hole, groaning at how tight you were as you began to sink down around him.

You’ve never been stretched out like this before, hot tears resurfacing at the corners of your eyes. You gripped his broad shoulders to steady yourself, your nails digging into his soft skin. You let out a shaky sigh as your ass met his hips, nearly coming already from how his huge cock filled up every inch of your pussy.

He sat up, steadying himself with one hand behind him and the other at the back of your head, pulling you in to mold his lips to yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth. He moaned into the kiss as he felt you move your hips, slowly bouncing on his cock.

“[Y/N], baby, you’re so fucking-hnggg- tight,” Iwaizumi groaned against your mouth, his hot breath fanning across your face. You started to bounce on his cock at a faster pace, and with every loud slap of skin on skin, his cock brushed against the spongy spot inside of you, making you clench even more around his hard shaft.

You couldn’t even control all the moans falling from your lips, Iwaizumi’s cock now relentlessly hitting your g-spot as he rutted his hips up into you. Your cunt was sucking him in, feeling every vein on his cock drag along your tight walls.

As your mouth hung open, Iwaizumi pushed two fingers in and you wrapped your lips around them, eliciting another groan from him. He pulled his fingers out to bring them down to your aching clit, his rough fingertips rubbing tight circles on the bundle of nerves. Iwaizumi thought you couldn’t get any fucking tighter but as he toyed with your clit, your cunt spasmed around him even more.

“Iwa please-” you cried out, feeling another orgasm creep up in the pit of your stomach.

“Milk my cock while you cum for me baby, c’mon,” Iwaizumi groaned, your erratic clenching bringing him closer to his own release.

With one final thrust into you, you came with Iwaizumi’s cock bottomed out inside of you, thick ropes of cum painting your cunt white. You both cried out for the other as you rode out your highs, your hands scratching red lines into his back.

You crawled off of Iwaizumi’s lap, his cum still leaking out of your pussy and onto the black leather of the bench.

“So,” Iwaizumi sighed, catching his breath but eager enough to not miss a beat, “When’s our next session?”

...

spicy taglist: @wakatshi @heyhinata @murdereddaydreams @msbyslut @dearkags @saetyrn9 @todoroki-vivian

[send in an ask or message me to be added/removed]

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #alli writes some spice

319 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day / i want the world to go away / i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake / i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''teen idle'' by marina

2 notes · View notes

clockworkgraystairs · 4 years

Text

Everything I didn’t ask for #1

JURDAN FIGHT CLUB AU

Rated: M

Warnings: Mentions of sex and alcohol. Drug use and explicit violence in future chapters.

Cardan Greenbriar wished nothing more than keeping his life simple.

A simple apartment with a simple roommate. A simple family. And a simple job.

A difficult thing to accomplish when his roommate was his exasperating ex-girlfriend, his family was either dead or involved in gang shit and he worked as a barman who generally had to ignore the fucked up things he saw daily.

Little did he know his life could take one more turn.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 [coming soon]

EIDAF Masterlist General Masterlist AO3

WEIRD PROPOSITIONS

The annoying noise was back.

With a groan, Cardan rolled over the bed until he could reach his alarm clock and turn it off. A couple of seconds later he opened an eye to check at the time.

“Shit,” he muttered before throwing the sheets aside and jump off the bed.

In five minutes he was stepping out of the shower, he took the first pair of trousers he saw and walked –nearly ran- to the kitchen, rubbing his still damp hair with a towel.

“Late again, huh?” a mocking voice said from behind.

“Give me a break Nic,” he answered while serving himself a cup of coffee. “I worked late last night.”

His roommate stared at him from the couch, her laptop now forgotten.

“You work late every night,” she said, her tone was something between worrying and complaining.

“Well, the thing about bars, you know, is that they’re not very profitable during the morning. Real money is on the night shift.” Gods, his head was about to explode, not only he had worked late but also had drank a lot too.

She huffed, getting on her feet. “Money is not that-“

“Important? For you maybe, but I’m very passionate about not starving to death.“ He could feel her gaze on him as he bottomed his coffee.

“I could tell my mother, you know she-“

“Nicassia, I’m not taking any money from your family so don’t start that again.” He’d said that rougher than he intended. Cardan left the empty mug on the sink, the sound of glass hitting metal echoing through the kitchen. She didn’t answered. A creak of the couch indicating she had sit again.

“Besides,” he turned to face her trying for a nonchalantly way out. “Hot barmans always get better tips.” with that he added a charming smirk.

“Oh my,” Nicassia rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to her computer. “How screwed are you then?”

Cardan gasped indignantly and answered by throwing the wet towel straight to her head.

He had to take the subway. It was faster, but usually crowded and he preferred walking to work when it wasn’t an hour late. Just imagining the extra chores he’ll have to do because of that made him grimace at the window. Hopefully it would not be the restrooms.

“Ah, His Majesty finally decided to honor us with his presence!” A red-haired man shouted from a corner table, carrying a trash bag.

“I have to Locke, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to make this place look less shitty, and that’s not good for my sells.”His answer was a very specific finger sign. Cardan only chuckled and grabbed a cloth so he could start up cleaning the mess in front of him.

On any other day, they would have cleaned everything the night before, but the Elfhame was famous enough to be continuously hosting several events of all kinds. Last night’s had been a bachelorette party, and oh those ones always ended up wild. Better said, it was their job to turn them as wild as possible, getting to the point when the maid of honor would stop keeping track of the tab and just ordered more and more drinks.

Not that he was complaining.

At some point of the night, it was late enough that most of their coworkers had gone home. Then there were just three of them. The cashier (whose name Cardan had never heard of, but everyone else called the Roach). He was making sure the girls didn’t break more cups than the minimum allowed and that of course the tab was paid before all of them left. Locke, who had disappeared into the girl’s restroom with two of the bridesmaids and Cardan in the cellar with the pretty bride-to-be kneeling in front of him until he was gasping and grabbing her hair harder.

He was not complaining at all; he could survive some extra work.

“Redbriar, you’re late!” the Roach yelled lifting his head from the registry book.

“Wrong color,” Cardan laughed “C’mon boss don’t tell me you didn’t have fun last night.”

“First of all lad, if I was the boss you wouldn’t see me checking registers, nor dealing with morons.” He marked that last word nodding his head to Locke, then added, “much less babysitting a group of drunk kids trying to balance glasses in her heads.”

“Noted. I’ll tell them to balance your record books instead.”

The look that Roach gave him had the rest of the staff howling.

“So…” Locke started, “how are you two dealing with it?” he finished applying his eyeliner and was now staring curiously at Cardan.

“Dealing with what?”

Locke made a face at him and motioned with his hands “You know, the break up thing. You and Nicassia.”

Cardan sighed. He knew what his friend meant, but didn’t really feel like talking about it. Not that Locke cared, apparently.

“Fine I guess… I´ve been trying to keep some distance, giving us space.” At least what living in the same place could allow. “But also acting like, friendly? I appreciate her Locke, and I don’t want to hurt her, even if I don’t feel that way anymore.” He undid the little bun on his head so his hair fell freely just past his jaw and took the makeup from the sink in front of him.

It was all part of the show. Elfhame had some sort of fantasy-mystic theme, so they were required to blend with it. Cardan usually mixed the eyeliner with some silver or gold powder either under his eyes or on his cheekbones. That mixed with his ear piercing and the tattooed snake on his arm was the perfect image of the devilish creature the bar tried to sell.

Not to mention, customers seem to adore it. A flirty wink and his sells doubled.

He and Locke were always competing to see who sell more drinks every night, and this one was not the exception. The place was about to burst.

“Tired already?” Cardan shouted over the loud music to his bar mate who had been a while apparently chatting with a client. He straightened up and rushed to his side.

“I got us something good man, something really good,” Locke couldn’t disguise his excitement so badly Cardan could barely understand him. “You see that man over there? The one I was talking to? Well he is throwing a party, but like a big one, the real shit dude and he needs people to attend the bar area. Just look at this!”

He slipped a card into Cardan’s hand. It had a number written. But they could not possibly get paid that much for an event, it was simply illogical. He glanced at the man Locke was talking about. Tall, wearing formal clothes, somewhat older than the usual clients. Dull expression. Not the kind of guy who gives parties at all. He was staring right back.

“Do you even know who is that and what is the party about?”

“Man who cares, if he’s paying us that much I’m okay with not making any questions” Locke’s eyes were shining with greed. “I thought you needed the money, don’t you?”

Cardan clenched his jaw and did not answer.

Unless he was planning on getting beaten to a pulp by his brother’s goons again, he had to deliver his monthly fee and there were not many days left. He needed the money, a lot.

But something was odd about that offer, no coherent mind would give them in a night what they usually made in a month. And like it or not, he would find out soon enough where the catch was.

#fight club au #jurdan #holly black #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #tcp #twk #qon #the cruel prince au #jurdan au #everything i didn't ask for #the cruel prince #jurdan fanfic #the folk of the air #judecardan #jude x cardan #my writing #tess writes

153 notes · View notes

mychemicalficrecs · 4 years

Note

could i get a rec list of long (30k+) frank-centric any pairing fics? (preferably not in first person, and if there's smut with bottom frank)…weirdly specific but at least i know what i like?

Being specific is totally fine! Depending on what it is you’re looking for, it can even be super helpful :) I originally thought this would be difficult, but it turns out I already had all of these in my bookmarks. It didn’t specifically check for bottom!Frank though (sorry).

Frank-centric Longfic

Gerard Way's (Vampire) Detective Agency by jjtaylor, Pennyplainknits, mainly Frank/Gerard, 164k, Mature. Pete, in Decaydance Mansion, with a yarrow stake. Frank and Gerard, in the greenhouse, with a plant of questionable origin. Bob, everywhere you look, with a gang of assassins for justice. Vampires, valets, pamphlets, haunted furniture, dub-thrall, disembodied voices, zombie couriers, and sinister rituals.

Nightswimming by waxjism, Frank/Gerard, 141k, Not Rated. My Teenage Romance

Unholyverse by Bexless, Frank/Gerard, Ray/Mikey, 187k, Mature, Explicit. Religion! Horror! Exorcisms! Piercings! And Gerard is a priest.

Illyria (King and Country) by tabulaxrasa, Frank/Gerard, 57k, Explicit. Today, they'd woken up and Gerard was King of Illyria. Frank hasn't really been a stable boy since he ended up in the archduke's bed, but now Gerard's exile is over and he's king. Frank has to survive court, politics, and scheming nobles to figure out exactly what he is now.

Stunning Someone by morbid_beauty, Frank/Gerard, 82k, Explicit. Frankie, a tattoo artist living in Brooklyn, has basically everything ze wants...except, like, someone to cuddle with at night. As lame as that sounds. Gerard, an art student living in Manhattan, meets someone of questionable gender and starts a friendship with an unrequited crush. (Or: the one where Frankie is genderfluid, Gerard is kind of ignorant to much of the queer community, and sometimes you just fall for a stunning someone.)

Envision the Magic by innocent_wolves, Frank/Gerard, 69k, Teen And Up Audiences. Gerard is a talented magician, responsible for much of the success of the famous Envision Destiny cruise ship. He's also one of those people. You know, one of those people who just seem to take up all the space they come across with their arrogance and confidence. You wouldn't wanna touch their personality with a 10-foot pole, but still people admire them. That is beyond Frank. Working behind the cruise ship bars and seeing Gerard pretty much every day, he can't understand what's so great about him. Besides, everybody else doesn't have to deal with his snide remarks and rude comments. Because if there's one thing Gerard seems to love, it's the act of constantly pestering Frank.

Truths That He Learned by gala_apples, Frank/Mikey, Patrick/Mikey/Pete, Ashlee/Patrick/Pete, 37k, Explicit. It's Frank's senior year, and it seems like he's constantly having new experiences, at least half of which come as a complete surprise to him. He falls in love, comes out, and has sex, not necessarily in that order.

Fit to be tied by maryangel, Frank/Gerard, 56k, Explicit. Frank is a bartender. Gerard is an alcoholic. They were clearly made for each other. Also, Frank is a werewolf.

Only Going One Way by ataratah, jjtaylor, Frank/Gerard, 73k, Mature. Crossover with due South. Constable Gerard Way of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and Detective Frank Iero of the Chicago PD team up find Mikey Way in a city where bowling alley score cards hide secret codes, where the good guys are either lying or undercover (and sometimes lying about being undercover), and where criminal bakers make drug-laced frosting.

James Cameron Got It Wrong by ladyfoxxx, Frank/Fun Ghoul/Party Poison, 57k, Explicit. In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019.

Rock and Roll Never Looked so Beautiful by corruptedkid, Frank/Gerard, 58k, Explicit. Gerard Way is a rising solo artist, set to become the next big thing in the alternative scene. Frank Iero is a trashy punk with a reputation of his own as the frontman of Pencey Prep. When their paths cross, a love story is born, only to come crashing down when Gerard hits it big. As Gerard ascends to the A-list, Frank adjusts to life on his own. He almost manages it - until two years later, when fate puts him face to face with Gerard once more. Everything has changed, but the connection between them is still there. Their story has ended once before, but if they're lucky, they just might make a new one.

I never told you what I do for a living. by not0-fuckin-kay, Frank/Gerard, 60k+, PG-13 to NC-17. Frank Iero, male nurse at Pete Wentz's private hospital and possibly more to one new patient he can't keep his eyes off of. When a new pateint is brought in with amnesia, just days before Christmas, and with nothing but the clothes on his back and a strange drawing, it's left to Frank to find out who he is and what happened to him. When he does, it changes Frank's life forever, as he's thrust into love and health scares he never thought would complicate his life. This is the story of how he tries to make it through, juggling his job and his love-life and just trying to make things better. With Patrick the doctor, Bob the ward supervisor, Travis the unlikely therapist, and Mikey, the sometimes wannabe homicidal geek.

and me here on the ground by ohnoktcsk, Frank/Gerard, 32k, Explicit. Frank's worked hard to build a life for himself in the city of Jersey, where dragons swoop and dive over the river, and every day is divided by the ringing of the city bells. He knows the streets of the city like he knows the the tattoos on the backs of his hands, and he's content with what he has: a job as a bike courier, friends who love to give him shit, and a crush on a professor of art history at the local university. But he's also got a secret—one he's been running from for a long time. But all it takes is one delivery to a mysterious, quite-probably-magical bookshop to show Frank that there are some things you can’t outrun. Especially since he’s finally found a place that he doesn’t want to leave.

Companion by onceuponamoon, Frank/Gerard, 34k, Explicit. A workplace AU. There’s a dude sitting in one of the high-backed chairs opposite the reception desk. Mostly obscured by a fake ficus plant between them, the guy probably wouldn’t have been noticeable save for the lazy sprawl of his legs, the Chucks contrasting against the floral rug.

Your Heart The Only Place That I Call Home by dear_monday, Frank/Gerard, 30k, Explicit. When Frank and his crew of morally ambiguous ethernauts (pirates, as Imperial law would have it, but that's such an ugly word) fetch up on the doorstep of the fabled Sanctuary, they aren't expecting to find much - least of all a long-lost brother, a garden in a box and the key to an ancient riddle.

Give Me a Reason by mistresscurvy, Lindsey/Frank/Jamia/Gerard and most variants thereof, 38k, Explicit. July 2007. Frank is fucking stoked for the next tour. This one will be the best ever, because his wife's gonna be with him the entire time. They've been married for less than six months, and he still can't fucking believe he got to marry her. This summer is going to rock. But life never happens as he plans.

In Repair by autoschediastic, Frank/Gerard, 33k, Explicit. "Shit," Frank mutters, and shoves both hands through his hair. He looks around the kitchen like he's gonna find what he should do scratched into the old linoleum, then looks back at the bot. He gnaws on his lip. Fuck it. He already knows what he's gonna do. He's just gotta do it. Getting down on his knees, he braces a hand on the edge of the crate and leans over the bot. It's dressed in a plain white tee and matching drawstring pants like an escaped mental patient. Frank rolls his neck and cracks his knuckles, shaking the ache out of them before carefully laying his palm against its cheek. He's pretty sure his voice is steady when he says, "Activate." Nothing happens. Fucking shitty packaging-- the thing's busted. But Frank keeps his hand where it is, jumping a little when he feels the surge of energy beneath it. The robot's skin goes from room temperature to lukewarm, then warm. Frank watches it open its eyes, the light behind them adjusting until they're a pale sort of brown. It looks at him and asks, "Am I dead?"

Promises, Promises by silentdescant, Frank/Gerard, 31k, Explicit. "Sources on our investigative team say this was a bank robbery gone wrong, and that, when faced with a police task force surrounding the building, the suspect grabbed the nearest person and is now holding that young man at gunpoint as he makes his getaway."

Cover To Cover by silentdescant, Frank/Gerard, 32k, Explicit. You've Got Mail AU. Frank owns The Shop Around The Corner, which specializes in classic and rare books, and Gerard is opening up a large branch of Way Books & Café down the street. They meet online and fall in love.

Love: The Package Deal by jjtaylor, Frank/Gerard, Lindsey/Frank/Jamia/Gerard, 30k, Mature. Gerard gets a special kind of amnesia. Frank gets to reexamine his idea of acceptable relationship structures. Lots of people fail to communicate effectively, but they all sure remember how to kiss.

Let The Darkness Lead You Home by rivers_bend, Frank/Gerard, 49k, Explicit. Vampires are in charge and most of the humans on earth are prey, so Frank Iero's parents have him train as a cyber tech to protect him. Leaving the family he's born into may have saved his life, but his parents never could have expected the lengths he'd go to in order to find a new family to call home.

Gross roomies by turps, Frank/Mikey, 36k, Explicit. Frank loves living with Mikey. Sure, the apartment is a mess, the kitchen's a toxic wasteland, and there's something growing in the refrigerator that's just a day or two away from becoming sentient, but other than those minor inconveniences, it's all cool. Or it is until Mikey decides to embark on a journey of sexual discovery and adventure and Frank's left at home with nothing but the fridge monster for company. To make matters worse, Mikey insists on telling Frank everything he does with his new kinky friends, right down to the tiniest detail. And now suddenly Frank is best friends with his right hand and he can't stop thinking about Mikey in ways he never has before. The really big problem, other than suddenly being in lust with his best friend, is that Frank isn't sure why.

Of All The Hidden Corners by moneyes, Frank/Gerard, ~44k, PG-13. An epic, adventurous tale filled with alternate universes, lords, mischief, magical powers, snark, boyfriends, and luck of the bad kind.

Church of Hot Addiction by spleenjournal, 0nlymemories, Frank/Gerard, Frank/Mikey, 36k, Adult. When Gerard Way gets transferred to Our Lady of Peace in Arlington a few weeks into his Senior year, he thinks it's his chance to be cool. Too bad his idea of "cool" is no cooler than it was in 3rd grade, even if there aren't any green tights.

Paradox 'verse by stoplightglow, Frank/Gerard, 42k, Mature. You know the saying. The best part about hitting rock bottom is that you get to meet a hot psychic.

#frank/gerard #ray/mikey #frank/mikey #lindsey/frank/jamia/gerard #fic rec list #longfic

11 notes · View notes

hypnotixstorm · 4 years

Note

Which characters are your fav ones in Naruto and which do you not like?

Okay thank you for asking this! I’ll tell you why I love/hate the characters too 👀

Also disclaimer: This is long as FUCK which I apologize about. I got a bit too into this I think lmao. You probs don’t even care why I like/dislike these characters :’))))

BUT

Because this is so long it’ll all be under the cut :)

F A V E S

Kakashi

He’s the entire reason I got into Naruto in the first place. I loved the intrigue/mystery surrounding his mask and I won’t lie, I think he’s really hot lmao B UT I can also relate a lot to his backstory in the sense that we’ve both had a really rough life!

Deidara

Dude Deidara is the best! Yes he’s hot okay, most of my faves are for this reason BUT I also love his personality! He feels so human and well thought out, even if he is a villain who we don’t really see all that long. He’s fun and energetic, plus I love art too!

Let’s be real tho, I literally love the entire akatsuki. They’re like my fave villain group of all time. I want an akatsuki cloud tattoo okay 😩

Genma

Okay okay okay I know this is weird and random but hear me out. I love this character, sm. I love his design, his personality, his voice, just, everything about him? I know he’s a minor character we very rarely see but idk I’m just so drawn to him 🥺

Itachi

hhhhnnnnNNGHHHHHH I love this man I s2g 🥺 like, he’s so pretty??? Eyelashes for days??? And long silky hair???? It’s mostly an aesthetic thing, but I do really like his backstory. I think he deserved so much better too!

D I S L I K E

Orochimaru

I feel like most people either love or hate him. Nobody ever is just like “he’s okay”. At least, no one I’ve ever met. Personally, he’s creepy as hell and I just *shudders* I just really don’t like him lmao

Sasuke

I can feel the hate I’m gonna get from this but oh well. Sasuke to me is very... overrated, which is weird considering I love his brother/emo boys lmao. But Sasuke just feels ridiculous at times. I also don’t like how he went crazy, psycho, murderer and then was just accepted back with open arms, for the most part anyways. I didn’t watch Naruto until I was 17 so that may also have something to do with it but? Idk, just really dislike him 🙃

Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage)

Okay. So. I really actually hate him lmao. I always see people ranting and raving about what an amazing hokage he was. Ummmmmm excuse me? He was awful! He promised to take care of Naruto, love him and treat him like his own but he actually didn’t? He never payed any attention to him and shoved him into some shitty ass apartments on his own? Plus the WHOLE VILLAGE bullied Naruto and he did nothing to stop it? Yeah, he’s awful. I understand he’s not biologically related to Naruto and all, but he still made that promise to Minato/Kushina and should’ve respected it. Yes, he could’ve just left him on the streets which is worse, but there was so much more he could have done FOR Naruto. I also understand he barely payed attention to his own grandson but still. You get the point. I don’t think he did anything right by those kids. I also think he’s to blame for the Uchiha massacre. Like, he knew what they were doing and went “ya know what itachi, why don’t you go kill them all and then fuck off even tho we know about this bc fuck you????” He knew about the Uchihas plans for YEARS and then with Danzo-

L O V E / H A T E

I know you didn’t ask for this but I have to talk about this one person

Sakura

Alrighty. This one is gonna be long like the Third Hokage’s. So I have moments where I both love and hate Sakura. I really do want her to be my favorite characters, but it’s really fucking hard. Honestly she’s probably my fave female character besides Temari, who was turned into a useless housewife, and Tsunade who is actually a /decent/ female character, post-Naruto fucking knocking some god damn sense into her. So really, I guess that makes her my fave female of the Konoha 12? Idk. A N Y W A Y S. Most of the women are done poorly, but Kishimoto has admitted to not being able to write them well so, it’s more understandable

Anyways. I’ll start out with why I dislike her

I HATE what she did to Naruto. It was seriously fucked up of her to use his feelings for her against him and just- Ugh, that shit really grinds my gears and pisses me off because I’ve been in Naruto’s shoes before in a situation like that with someone. I also hated how she STILL pined over Sasuke and ENDED UP WITH HIM???? Honestly, I don’t think Sasuke should have gotten with anyone and that’s because he does not seem emotionally ready/available to be in a (healthy) relationship, NOT because I don’t like him and I think he doesn’t deserve happiness. But anyways, I digress. I know that looks aren’t the most important things buuuuuut Studio Pierrot really made her look bad. Not only does she look more badass in the manga, but she actually has decent sex appeal. The only reason I bring that up specifically is because a LOT of people like to compare her to Ino and Hinata and make fun of her flat chest. I feel like it’s also worth mentioning, that anytime Sasuke was around or even mentioned, she turned into a babbling idiot, which is probably her biggest downfall to me

Now, on to why I like her

Sakura is the strongest NORMAL person in the world of Naruto, whether you want to believe it or not. Naruto and Sasuke are literal GODS. Even if they are reincarnations, they’re still gods. Of course Sakura is going to be useless compared to them. BUT compare her to other characters and she’s def stronger than them. She has surpassed her teacher, Tsunade, who was one of the Legendary Sannin. She’s also much stronger than Kakashi, who was a child prodigy and jonin at the age of thirteen. She also was also able to nearly go toe-to-toe with a member of the Akatsuki. I know she had help from Lady Chiyo, but she still did well, all things considered. Deidara has also stated previously that Sasori was stronger than him, so with that in consideration, she would have probably been able to beat him on her own and possibly several other members of the Akatsuki

#anime #naruto #ask #ask game #ask game response #character analysis #naruto anime character analysis #sorry its so fucking long #oof #i really didnt mean to go off on a tangent #i hope you like it tho #thank you butterfly-anon

17 notes · View notes

dotdotdottie · 4 years

Text

Cats and Dots || Dot & Luce

LOCATION: Ink Inc.

TIME: Before Bea’s Death

@divineluce

Clicking on her “Bad Ass Bitches” playlist on Spotify, Luce set to work on fixing the absolute shitshow that was Dot’s tattoo. Not only was the placement bad, it looked like a drunk toddler had decided to go to town with a machine. Which is why she was more than happy to be working on it. Nothing was more interesting than fixing a bad tattoo and turning it into something worth showing off. “How the fuck did you wind up with this hot mess? And, you can’t fucking smack me for saying that because I’ll make it worse.” She grinned as she dipped the needles into ink and set to work, bobbing her head along to the beat of the pounding bassline. “Like, love is love, but christ.” She gestured to the god awful rainbow plastered on her hip. “The lines on this are hot garbage.”

The rainbow tattoo had been something Dot got in a frat house in her junior year of college. Her friend had ordered a tattoo gun off the internet and the ink had been sourced from somewhere she had no desire to examine. She didn’t regret the tattoo, it was a funny fucking story and she liked being a dumbass with a rainbow tattoo... But if she was going to make sure everyone going down on her knew she was pretty fucking gay, she wanted it to a nice rainbow. “I got it done by a coked-out frat named Braydon.” She had almost considered eating him afterward, but her colony would have been pissed. She wished she had done it. “I probably could have done it better myself, but it was kinda fun watching him struggle. Hope you know how to make it look less like an idiot did it. I don’t need people to focus on the rainbow when my snatch is out.”

Stories like this weren’t super surprising, especially not when it came to shit tattoos. Luce nodded as she filled in the stencil, a black cat whose body covered the majority of the rainbow. What bits it didn’t, she was planning on incorporating into a rainbow collar around its neck. And besides, even without the collar, it was still gonna be pretty gay. “You know, that doesn’t fucking surprise me in the slightest. Braydon,” She wiped away the excess ink, “Had awful goddamn hands. And, trust me. This is gonna be dope.” Luce grinned, “Definitely a pussy out kind of look.” She laughed. Given the fact she usually tattooed straight, toxic masculinity dudes all the time, it was a goddamn delight to be tattooing someone who wasn’t. And, Dot was cool enough. She was dating Blanche, which honestly sounded like a match made in chaotic heaven.

Listen, Dot didn’t love cats, but she would get one tattooed on her for a pussy joke. Most of her tattoos were jokes anyway. She knew plenty of people thought tattoos had to have meaning but she thought they just had to have a fun story and be cool to look at. “Oh trust me, I know Braydon’s hands were terrible. He’s one of those boys who think the clit is a suggestion instead of required.” She had slept with him a few days later simply because she had been bored out of her mind. “Can’t wait for the summer when I can show it off when I’m at the beach,” She cackled imagining the horrified faces of suburban mothers as they covered their kiddie’s eyes. She liked Luce and if she wasn’t with Blanche, she would have considered trying to smash, but for once Dot didn’t have the desire to cheat. “You got anything fucking weird tattooed on you?”

Letting out a low whistle, Luce shook her head. “Sounds about right. Boys are the fucking worst.” She said, remembering her ill-fated attempts at dating boys in high school. For the most part, they’d been boring and dumb and not terrible to hang out with. But, Jared, he was a fucking time. “Sounds like the dude I slept with back in the day. But, I gotta say, hats off to Jared. He did in fact, turn me gay.” She joked. That had been a hilarious thing for him to realize, when they ran into each other at a house party the year after they graduated. Specifically, when he found her fucking a girl on the side of his house. “Oh, it’ll be a look. And a damn good one at that.” She said as she finished up the tail of the cat. At Dot’s question, Luce laughed and nodded. “Of course I do. This is a good one,” She said and backed up to show Dot one of the tattoos on her ankle. At first glance, it was a normal anchor tattoo with a scroll script around it, the cliche every college girl got. But, the scroll read ‘Fuck your Anchor.’ “A tribute to all the stupid anchor tattoos I have to do.”

“Men are good for two things, paying us and looking pretty,” Dot said with a grin. There was a third, very important thing they were also good for, but she doubted that Luce shared her passion for sinking her fingers in the chests of frat boys and eating their hearts. “Speaking for the community, I thank Jared for his contribution. We’re glad to have such a hot gay with us.” Was she flirting? Yeah, but Dot didn’t think it was terrible to do so. It was a joke after all. She craned her neck a bit to see the progress and grinned, honestly, it looked fucking sick already. She couldn’t wait to show Blanche… And literally anyone else who was willing to look at it. She let out a cackle as she took in Luce’s tattoo. “Wow, what an icon. I hope you make sure everyone sees it when they ask for an anchor tattoo. You get a lot of those stupid mom heart ones?”

“You can say that again.” Luce laughed, thinking back to the random venmo that she’d gotten from Adam. As much of a big dumb frat boy he seemed, the dude was half-way decent. When he wasn’t talking about his crotch goblins or giving her stupid nicknames. That said, Dickcleaver Vural had a nice ring to it. “You’ve got that right. I am, in fact, a gift to the ladies and they-dies of White Crest.” Luce chuckled to herself as she filled in the body of the cat. Was she aware of the tone behind Dot’s words? Yeah, which is why she dug in just a little deeper with her needle. Not enough to blow out the ink, but just enough to remind Dot that she was, in fact, tattooing her. Besides, Luce was a lot of things, but she wasn’t the other woman type. “You know it. Oh, I’d be fucked if I did. Ulf would have my head on a spike if I went flashing that around.” She remarked as she looked at her handiwork. “Nah, most dudes have figured out those are out of style.”

Adam’s venmo had sent Dot into a cackling session that lasted for several minutes. She hadn’t expected anyone to actually send her money, but when she got the notification on her phone, Adam had gained a few brownie points. She gave Luce a mock salute,“Thank you for your service. You should be given a medal of honor.” Her eyes narrowed as the needle dug in deeper, sending a glare Luce’s way. She was pretty sure the tattoo artist was too practiced at this point to change pressure like that. Guess flirting, even jokingly, wasn’t allowed with Luce. “If Ulf doesn’t see it happen, what’s the harm? Some people wouldn’t even read it, I bet.” Even if they did read it, Dot was pretty sure some people would just get it anyway. She laughed,“That’s tragic. I love when I see them, it’s just so funny. Teasing guys about it is so fun.”

“Every lesbian who ever slept with a man should, honestly. Gold star lesbians, my ass. Give me a gold star for having to suffer through forty seconds of super sexy thrusting.” Luce grumbled as she wiped away the last of the excess black ink. Popping over the rainbow array of ink, she dipped her needles in to color after color, filling in the rainbow pattern on the cat’s collar. “The harm is when all the piss babies storm out or write bad Yelp reviews. I’m in customer service,” She pasted a fake smile on her face before rolling her eyes, “I gotta service the customer.” Arching an eyebrow at Dot’s words, Luce couldn’t resist the urge to snicker. “Well, I can tell you this, you can and should make fun of anyone who’s got a terrible tribal. God, 90’s and 2000’s tattooing was the worst.”

“Wow, he lasted a full forty seconds? You had a marathon runner. Most boys out there are one thrust wonders.” Dot loved moments like this where she just got to make fun of men as brutally as she wanted. So many people got uncomfortable when she talked about boys and her sexual experiences with them. “I’ll write you a five star Yelp after this. I’ll even include that I reccomend the lesbian artist.” It wouldn’t be the first time she wrote a long review just to praise a friend. She was great at acting like a Karen and if she used her real name, everyone thought she was seventy anyway. “I should make them tip me extra for making me witness their bad tattoos. At least my bad tattoos are covered up or I’m getting them fixed.”

“I was truly #blessed.” Luce said in a mocking voice, as she shut off her machine. “What got me was the fact he had the balls to ask, ‘was it good for you’? That was when I straight up told him I was pretty sure I preferred girls. Whoops.” She said as she wiped off the last of the ink and gestured for Dot to take a look at the tattoo in the mirror she had on the wall. “You better mention me, otherwise people will come in thinking it was Rory who did this sick pussy tat. God knows how the girls would react to that.” She snorted, amused at the other artist’s struggles with the fairer sex. “Honestly, they really should. And hey, you’re getting there.” She said as she tossed her gloves in the trash and began to clean up her station. “When are we gonna fix that jank ass dolphin tattoo of yours, huh?”

“‘Was it good for you?’ Well, bud, if I’m getting up to leave then I’m pretty sure it wasn’t good for me. Boys are fucking stupid,” Dot laughed. This is part of the reason she ate human boys, they were just so annoying. She stood, looking into the mirror with an almost feral grin. “This is fucking awesome.” Turning back to Luce she let out another half laugh,“Yeah I’ll make sure I tell them it was you. Try not to hit on all the hot ones I send your way.” Dot took out her phone to take a photo to send Blanche and a few of her old college buddies. Snorting, she shook her head,“The dolphin is staying as messed up as it is. It’s a Dot classic at this point.”

“Right? You’d think me grabbing my shorts and booking it out the door would have been a dead give away.” Luce said with a laugh as she grabbed the aftercare instructions pamphlet and stuffed it into a baggy with a little Ink Inc. sticker, some candy, and a few packets of Aquaphor. “I’m glad you like it.” She said as she held out the grab bag. “And, no promises on that.” Luce winked and shook her head as they walked out to the register. Setting the station up for her, Luce shook her head with a disappointed snap of her fingers. “Damn, and here I thought I might have a chance at getting you to rethink that. But, hey. You win some, you lose some.” As she leaned against the front desk, Luce glanced up at the clock. Dot was a dope lady, if chaotic. And, coming from her? That meant she was pretty much chaos incarnate. But, she was good company for a drink. “You wanna grab a drink? Celebrate your new art?”

#cats and dots #chat log: luce

10 notes · View notes

dyscrasia-eucrasia · 4 years

Photo

<<Prev | Next>>

Part 24

Demie gripped the door handle with one hand and the door frame with another as he heaved. He'd cleared out most of his stomach contents already, at this point he was just trying to clear the bile from his throat. He pulled his hair to one side of his neck and coughed, hacking and then spitting into the dirt. Then he just sat there, half of his body outside of the car, trying to get his breathing and heart rate back under control.

"Hey, um…" Angel said from the driver's seat, "you okay?"

Angel placed a hand on Demie's back, gently rubbing it. Demie had it together enough to think that that was kind of gay, but not to actually tell Angel to knock it off.

Besides, it actually felt kinda nice.

After waiting a minute to make sure that he wasn't going to puke again, Demie heaved his body back into the passenger's seat and shut the car door. Angel moved his hand so that it was resting on the center console. He let Demie sit there in silence, gathering his thoughts.

"I can't do this, man," Demie finally said. His words came out sounding like sandpaper. "Sorry. I just can't do this right now."

"Hey," Angel said softly, turning in his seat to get a look at Demie, "it's okay."

"Sorry, I knew you wanted to go to this thing, but I just can't do that right now."

"It's alright," Angel said, his voice still low and gentle, "really. It's okay."

No, it wasn't okay. Not to Demie. The thing was, he wanted to go. He really did. He'd never actually been to a music festival before and it sounded cool. He wanted to actually experience being in an audience at a show, instead of just playing them. He wanted to do normal things like normal people.

But as soon as they'd left the town limits of Billy Brook, it was as if there were a million eels swirling around inside his stomach. His heart was racing, his head was pounding, and he felt dizzy even though he was just sitting in a car. And hanging over all of that was the inescapable feeling that something bad was going to happen.

It was like the anxiety he got at shows, but ten times worse. At least with shows, he could step out on stage and know that he was protected by the plausible deniability of wearing a costume. And that he had the power to control everyone in the audience.

Being an audience member, though, he wouldn't have either of those things. Worse, what if human musicians had a power like he did? He didn't have any proof that they did, other than videos he saw of performances where people in the audience were going crazy. What if someone was able to control him like he controlled his crowds? What if they made him do something stupid or violent?

What if they made him do something to Angel?

He wasn't sure which thought scared him more - that he could be influenced into hurting Angel, or that he could be influenced into something like that guy that he'd punched at that one show.

For some reason, it never occurred to him to think that maybe Angel could be influenced into assaulting him. The gay panic only went one way.

"Do you wanna go home?" Angel asked. His tone was so patient, so understanding. He made Demie feel so safe.

"Nngh," Demie moaned, thinking. No, he didn't want to go home. He didn't want to go home only twenty minutes after leaving. He didn't want to walk into the trailer and have Elaine say that she'd told him so.

"Do you still want to go to Charleston? We don't have to go to the festival, we could go hang out at my place or something private like that."

"NNNNNNGGGHH," Demie moaned again. No. No way. He absolutely did not want to go to Angel's home. That felt dangerous. Like something would happen there that he couldn't take back. He wasn't sure what exactly could happen, but he just knew he didn't want it to happen.

"Okay, so… do you maybe want to get something to eat?" Angel asked. "There's a gas station a little ways down the road, they have a diner attached."

"I can't exactly go in there," Demie mumbled.

"You don't have to. I can get something to go and we can eat in the car."

Demie reached up and gripped his horns, pulling them up. It didn't really do anything, but when he got headaches he swore it helped relieve the pressure in his skull. It had become a nervous habit when he needed space to think.

"Nnnghh… okay," he said, slumping back against the seat. He was shaking; maybe something to eat would do him good.

"Okay," Angel said, starting up the car again.

It took them about ten more minutes to arrive at the gas station. It was a run-down little place, the pumps about a decade old and the diner straight out of the fifties. Demie and Elaine had driven past it before numerous times on the way to shows, but they'd never stopped there. There was another station in Billy Brook that was cheaper.

"You want anything specific?" Angel asked. He parked in the spot furthest from the entrance. Probably, Demie realized, to keep him out of sight.

"Mm… water. And just something vegetarian."

"Got it," Angel said, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car. "Be back in a few."

Demie grunted in response, watching as Angel headed towards the diner. Angel had worn a tank top, and for the first time, Demie noticed that he had angel wings tattooed on his back. That was fitting, he supposed.

Angel disappeared inside, and Demie was left to sit there alone. Angel had left the radio on, and the band they'd been listening to switched to The Cure. Demie wrinkled his nose. This was a band he knew - his brother liked them - but that he didn't really care for. He wasn't sure how to change it, though. Angel's car had a fancy touch screen, not the simple tape deck that Elaine's van had. Besides, Demie had seen Angel control the music from his phone when they first left, and he was pretty sure Angel had taken his phone inside with him.

There was nothing to look at except the diner, so he stared at it. It was one of the silver train car-looking diners. Demie had never been inside of one, but he liked how they looked. There was something very iconic about them.

He reached down to grab his backpack from where it sat between his feet. He unzipped it and pulled out his Polaroid camera, aiming it carefully so that the hood of the car wasn't in the picture, and took a snapshot. The camera spit out the picture and he waved it briefly before letting it settle to develop.

He had been sitting there staring at the picture for who knew how long when the driver's side door opened and he jumped.

"Settle down, it's just me," Angel said, slipping into the car. He carried a styrofoam to-go box and a cardboard drink tray with one styrofoam cup with a straw, and one paper coffee cup.

"Sorry, all I got you was a salad," he went on. "They didn't really have anything explicitly vegetarian, and I wanted to get out there as quickly as I could. I get the feeling gay folks and people of color aren't really wanted in there."

Demie took the box, glancing at Angel's arm, and then at his own. "What do you mean, 'people of color?'" He asked. "I'm darker than you are."

"Yeah, no, it just means anyone who isn't white."

"Your skin is white, though."

"It's just an expression," Angel said with a sigh.

"Hm," Demie hummed, opening the box and digging out a plastic fork. He didn't really get it, but then again, there was a lot of human stuff he didn't really get. At least, he blamed it on humans being weird about things, and not on his very sheltered upbringing.

"I didn't know you had a Polaroid," Angel said, nodding to the camera in Demie's lap.

"Hm? Oh, yeah," Demie said around a mouthful of salad, "I've had it since I was a kid."

"I like it," Angel said. "I know people who have the digital kinds now, but they aren't as cool as the old ones. Can I see it?"

"Yeah, sure," Demie said, handing the camera off to him.

Angel turned the camera over in his hands as Demie ate. Then, without warning, Angel lifted the camera to his face, and pointed it at Demie.

"Smile," he said with a grin, snapping a picture.

"Dude, hey!" Demie threw up his hands as the flash went off. He reached for the photo to snatch it out of Angel's hands before it developed, but Angel threw up an elbow to ward him off and held it far away at the other end of the car.

"Ha!" Angel laughed, shaking the photo off as the image came into relief. "Omigod, you look hilarious."

Demie could only sort of see the photo, but he could see that he was shoveling lettuce into his open mouth in it. He shoved Angel's shoulder and sat back in his seat. "Dick," he said. He never took pictures of himself.

Angel handed the camera back to him, but held onto the photo.

"Do not keep that thing," Demie said.

"Oh, no, I am absolutely keeping this. I'm gonna pin it up on my photo wall."

"You like taking photos too?"

"What? Oh, no, they're all of myself. You're getting the distinction of being the first non-Angel photo on the Angel Photo Wall."

"Fuckin' narcissist," Demie snorted.

"Nothing wrong with a little self-love," Angel shot back.

Demie poked at his salad some more. "Do you have any other tattoos?" He asked after a little while.

"Huh?"

"The wings," Demie jerked a thumb towards his own back. "Saw 'em when you got out of the car. You got any others?"

"Oh. No, not right now," Angel replied. "I can't decide on anything that I'd like enough to put on my body permanently. Besides the wings, of course. Why? Do you have any?"

"Nah," Demie said. "One of my cousins knows how to do stick-and-poke, he always offers to do some at the Bacchanalia, but… same, I can't think of anything I want permanently on my body."

"What's the Bacchanalia?" Angel asked. "Something to do with your band?"

"Mm, kinda," Demie said around another bite of salad. "Everyone in the area who worships Bacchus - Dionysus - gets together once a year and we throw this massive party. Basically everyone just goes into the woods and gets real drunk and has a lot of sex. We named the band after our God."

"That sounds…" Angel tapped his mouth with his fingertips, "that sounds so pagan, but also so, so hillbilly."

"Yeah, whatever. It's a religious thing."

"No, that sounds fun. I wish my religion was getting drunk and having sex in the woods."

Demie opened his mouth, but closed it very quickly. He had considered inviting Angel to the Bacchanalia, but decided better of it. Again, he didn't really trust himself when it came to losing all control if Angel was around, though he wasn't sure why. He told himself that he just didn't want Angel to get hurt, even though there generally weren't any fights at the celebration.

"Hey," he said, changing the subject, "can I take a photo of your tattoo sometime?"

Angel looked at him, arching an eyebrow. "Why? I mean… sure, but why?"

Demie shrugged. "I dunno. Only so many interesting things to photograph out in the woods. It'd be cool to have a picture of a person."

"Yeah," Angel said after a moment. "Yeah, of course."

#writing #writers on tumblr #original fiction #gay fiction #mlm #lgbt fiction #mlm fiction #wright's writing #w:demie and angel

3 notes · View notes

arsonforcharlie · 5 years

Photo

got another fuck squad session in, my dudes! ft. my dope blackberry rhubarb crostata and one of the gifts from maddela’s player, a rainbow of rocks from the fuck squad camping trip i had to miss because i was working. (she also got me multiple litres of cider, but that’s for later.)

so before the fuck squad actually nears, like, the plot or anything, they have sergei’s wedding shower. they get the ship’s cook to make them a cake.

rhonia: “we want it to be really rude.” cook: “i’m a sailor. that rude?”

maddela brews some moonshine for the party in her poison distilling kit and dear god am i lucky she rolled well because i am not emotionally ready for her to unintentionally poison the whole party at a wedding shower. they also make some decorations.

rhonia goes to tell pashmina what’s going on, and we learn i can’t make a horse noise to save my life

maddela: “and look i made punch!” “you didn’t ask for any ingredients for this punch besides your moonshine.” “it’s strong punch.”

rhonia: “you can only wear one magic ring on each hand.” “yeah, you can’t be a magic pimp.” saida: “WHY AM I PLAYING THIS GAME”

rhonia and maddela chanted “salt-encrusted dicks!” for some reason

they also gave him wedding shower presents- he got rhonia’s bowl of comfortable warmth, maddela gives him gold jewelled nipple clamps, and yoni gives him a mahogany rolling pin. there’s lots of fireworks.

saida: “SPACE DOCKING! any day i can yell space docking is a good one. there’s not a lot of those.”

they also use the bag of trading for more gifts so sergei gets an apron that says Kiss the Cock on it

the next day, they go to voight, a city dominated by copper spires that rise up into the sky. they see machines and immediately decide that the city is run by fake fantasy scientologists who worship ridium

their first round of help comes from a teenage urchin named amelie, who shows them around, first to an inn called the elegant nymph

amelie has a friend in jesus. specifically, another urchin named jesus because i accidentally said “jeeeeesus” even though i already established that he’s not a part of my world’s mythology

they decide the innkeeper of the elegant nymph, bertha, is mrs. doubtfire for absolutely no reason and my voice was great.

sergei: “she rolled a 3 to punch his cock! she just like tapped his dick, that’s it”

rhonia: “before we go, have you ever heard of a god called ridium?”

these fucks are paranoid

amelie gives them a brief tour, where she tells them the story of the founding of voight.

long story short, there’s an elf named leodithas and a dwarf named bandrum. they both fled their homelands as refugees from war, and ended up travelling together. when they arrived at the site that would become voight, both of them heard a voice in their head saying that they should bury their most prized possession and leave in the middle of the night without a word, and then their troubles might continue but their companion would find true happiness.

rhonia: “are they gonna bury each other?” sergei: “you can’t own another person! RHONIA.”

bandrum chose a smooth blue stone he had salvaged from the ruins of his hometown. leodithas, having nothing from his home, chose to bury his last small piece of bread. they caught each other trying to leave in the middle of the night, laughed, embraced, and stayed together. the next day they discovered rich mines of copper and that the sea filled with fish, so they settled down in the site, building their home between the places they buried the stone and the bread. they were the first settlers of voight, but more came, and it turned into a village, then a town, until finally they built this city on the rock and roll

I HAD BEEN WAITING OVER A MONTH TO SAY THIS JOKE AND DEAR GOD WAS IT WORTH IT

sergei: “it’s like a buck saw.” saida: “what’s a bucksaw? i’ll look it up.” me, mishearing: “don’t look up fucksaw” yoni: “a fucksaw is just, like, aggressive scissoring”

they went to the library, where saida wanted to look up the extradition laws (because these guys are specifically horny for the lore i hadn’t really thought about) and yoni wanted to look up ridium and also the contraptions they kept seeing around. meanwhile rhonia took a nap, maddela went busking, and sergei went to find the secret market where they can get magic tattoos.

yoni: “i would have subtitled it magic, the boring.” “well that’s why you haven’t written this book.”

yoni doesn’t find out much about ridium, but she does discover that most of the clockwork mechanisms around were built by gnomes, whose descendants still fix them.

saida: “i’m pre-law” “in that you do things before laws are made to stop you doing them.”

“all the books are very dry, very boring.” yoni: “title of your sex tape.”

“you’re unlikely to get deported unless you do some serious crimes. so prolly shouldn’t have paid for two weeks at the inn.”

there was also a bit about xalvador, who is a half-orc sex worker librarian who is happily married but having an affair with his work? gotta love the random character generator

“it’s like footloose but for prostitutes. buttloose.”

saida: “what do i roll to be extra charming?” “bluff.”

sergei finds the entrance to the criminal underworld, and also buys a little carved horse statue.

“the person selling horse statues is a gnome-” yoni: “he’s not working on clockwork? so he’s a failed gnome?”

the squad goes down and finds the magic tattoo parlor. inside is a very tall man (about eight feet) who wears long sweeping robes, has dark skin, and iridescent whitish hair. the squad decide he’s a drow for absolutely no reason.

he tells them they can get magical tattoos for the low price of 500 gold and a favor each. “it’ll only be five minutes of your time.”

saida: “oh but the favor’s gonna be sketchy.” “no, it’s not.” “OKAY! let’s do it!”

saida: “how often do i use wisdom?” “rarely.”

i am gettin’ off those zingers tonight!

sergei and saida each get two tattoos. sergei gets an elephant for intelligence and a fox for dexterity on his tiddies, while saida gets a peacock for charisma and an owl for wisdom on her hands. rhonia wants more charisma but requests a special version since she doesn’t like peacocks, so he does a picture of one of her face of the devourers on her chest. yoni gets one that will allow her to fly for six rounds a day, which looks like muhammad ali with desna’s butterfly wings. both she and sergei’s player drew beautiful renditions.

maddela stays back at the market to seek out some sketchy work, while the squad goes to a tavern called the paladin’s favor to find some less sketchy shit

when they come in, a rogue is trying to sell a party member of his that was turned to stone. the squad considers it before dropping the question.

the most interesting job they find is tracking down a seller of stolen magical items, who knows saida from her crime days. i renamed him jon bovi after a v good bon jovi imitation

saida: “there’s a statute of limitations. “no, the statue of limitations is over there being used as a coat rack”

the leader of the assassin’s guild, erris, asks for maddela’s credentials. maddela: “i’ve done some not very nice things”

maddela: “back in chillwater, well, we solved a murder” “that’s kind of the exact opposite of what i’m asking you to do.”

after telling erris about how she did very much stab lord acotar right in the asshole, erris offers maddela a chance at an open contract to murder the mayor, malkyn de bolbec.

maddela: “you can call me..... m.” saida: “.... for maddela.” “or MURDER.”

on her way out, maddela is surprised to see tarand, who stops her and asks to chat with her for a little while, and that’s when the session ends

#fuck squad recaps #go team magic tattoos #nothing could possibly go wrong

20 notes · View notes

floggingink · 6 years

Text

Riverdale, “Chapter Thirty-Eight: As Above, So Below”

Day At Least Seven Solitary Coif: struggling

Alice’s thigh: stunning

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: FP’s jellybean tattoo: incredibly, tenderly sad

Certified pedigree: “I’m glad the Farm opened you up to the possibility of us”: either Alice thought about this to herself, or she (absolutely) asked the rest of her cult what they thought. what they THOUGHT about her sleeping with FP again. “What d’you think, girls?” Alice wine clubbed FP Jones’s dick!

who has more game, FP or Jughead? FP a) is a grown man, b) is oftentimes gainfully employed (I’ve forgotten if he’s employed right now), c) is strong enough to carry a high school boy out of the woods, d) was VERY smooth with his seemingly instinctual “Then don’t. Tell him,” e) did that thing where he took the gum out of his mouth when Alice came to his trailer, and f) looked pretty good in his crisp Pop’s uniform when he was employed at Pop’s. however FP also a) tends to drink when not employed and b) is fucking obsessed with Toledo, a town I will burn to the ground if I ever set foot in it. meanwhile, Jughead a) climbed up a fucking ladder to Betty’s bedroom, b) ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT when he and Betty almost fucked each other in the kitchen, c) KILLED IT AND BURIED IT in the moments before fucking her on the couch when he was all, “Or you could stay,” and fucking touched her dress like she was an angel of the Lord and he was just a humble shepherd boy whose eyes were not worthy to gaze upon her countenance, d) only strategically removes his hat, and e) rides a motorcycle. the hat is not a con, necessarily, and being a writer in high school is a cross some of us simply have to bear, but he is like, kind of a pain sometimes and a little squirrelly, but w/r/t the love of his life, he has tailored himself to her every need almost perfectly

OH AND I FORGOT WHEN HE KISSED HER SCABBY BLOOD KNUCKLES! OH SHIT!

Veronica has the most game on the entire show

I like when they have Jughead use words like “modicum”

“Ben’s death haunts me, Jug. He didn’t scream. Why not, I wonder?”: writing credits this episode go to Daphne de Maurier

YYEEEAAAAAHHH THE BLUE & GOLD CRIME BOARD BABY

I would almost expect something more from the warden’s tie, except that I know plain clothing is, in and of itself, a warning sign

anything that gets Veronica in her reading glasses is okay by me, and this includes Pop’s hemorrhaging money

Jughead can wear just a T-shirt sans jacket or flannel any old time he wants, I’m just putting that vibe out there

“Of course we’re calling it a speakeasy.”

Jug’s suspender game is strong, so really Betty should know she has nothing to worry about

his stupid dumb round face looking at her when she pulls him aside is pretty. remember when he kissed her hands? fucking Jughead sometimes, dude

“Evelyn...creeps me out.”

I like Betty’s overalls and Evelyn’s romper thing

what I expected when Kevin dialed the phone was for the whole booth to sink into the basement like a surprise elevator

Kander and Ebb wrote the music to, among much else, Cabaret and Chicago, those being some of their most gay

I LOVE VERONICA’S WHITE SHIRT. IT’S JUST A FUCKING PLAIN WHITE SHIRT, SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: is there some heat between Veronica and Reggie? am I crazy?

the foursome of Reg, Ronnie, Josie, and Kev is basically just as strong as the cour four strictly in terms of hair

I don’t know that I like Penny’s sleeveless Ghoulies vest more than her leather Serpents jacket but I do know I like it at least the same amount (oodles)

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: Day One Lifted Bag Off Head Hair: GREAT

OH MY GOD, JOAQUIN!!!! WHEN WILL JOAQUIN REST. DOES EVERY TERRIBLE THING HAVE TO HAPPEN TO JOAQUIN BEFORE IT HAPPENS TO SOMEONE ELSE. IS JOAQUIN IN THE FARM

does Archie have a scar on his head? is it KJ’s? have I lost track of something?

Gay?!: BABY TEETH is an absolute twink and he was tapped to save his life

I’m suspicious of Peter because his name is, simply, “Peter”

Gay.: Cheryl and Toni are just like lounging in a single chair together and that’s the bisexual agenda

Veronica was rich: Veronica’s heavy card stock IS very nice

Ethel’s cute yellow cardigan is back, which matches her thermos and lunchbox

I enjoyed when Betty sits down and you think she’s going to apologize for being there at Ben’s death but instead she just fucking grills Ethel some more

“...G&G.”

OOOOOOHHHHHHH JUGHEAD’S TURNING IT ON WITH THAT PRINCESS SHIT

Please protect Betty: Betty’s entire expression at being told she’s “not worthy,” God bless her

The female gaze: I don’t know why Reggie’s shirt is off. probably Reggie doesn’t even know

Reggie’s panicked JJ face is one of the top five panicked faces of all time. he’s tied at least with the girl in Jurassic Park when she sees the raptor shadow and her hand holding that green Jell-O starts shaking

Minetta doesn’t even pretend he’s looking for something other than whatever was in those boxes. cold, Minetta

REGGIE’S SALUTE

Reg simply being aware that Minetta and the Ghoulies work for Hiram almost brings me to tears. not only is he a walking sculpture with a pair of lips that would make Sarah Steller throw herself off the Hoover Dam, but he is also a genius

VERONICA IS SO BEAUTIFUL. “Not until I’m properly armed.” just look at her!

Ethel didn’t even come to the first meeting of the Farm Club? cold, Ethel

Evelyn offering Betty a pizza slice comes off as her genuinely wanting Betty to have a piece of pizza if she wants, which is the first non-creepy thing she’s done (Jughead would take the pizza)

she of course follows this up with “that darn medication”

Archie looks like a corpse in the blue light

tell me “wakey, wakey” is a Kill Bill reference. TELL ME IT IS

the guy they have fighting Archie looks just enough like Khabib Nurmagomedov that I was like, is this an unconscious wish on someone’s part to do a rematch of red-haired McGregor vs. Khabib except it’s on Riverdale so it’s in something called “the Pit” which is a drained swimming pool and they’re in juvie? (it’d have to be a fantasy in that Conor McGregor would get his ass beaten by Khabib Nurmagomedov in any rematch in any universe, in the universe)

dude does his best but, as Sweet Pea and Vintage Reggie can tell you, you cannot let Archie land a) a right hook or b) an uppercut or he will end this fight

who’re the rando white women watching? their fucking wives? goddammit, white women

I think Baby Teeth could take Reggie jawline-to-jawline

Veronica’s kittenish heels sinking into the dirt as opposed to her striding effortlessly as Moses parting the Red Sea

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: “THAT VIPER BITCH”

Antoinette Topaz is fluent in many languages, including Veronica’s

God bless jingle-jangle: the fucking cat burglar sequence set to “Jingle Jangle” just about fucking did it

Ethel’s candle game is reaching midnight mass-levels of mastery

so did Betty and Jughead get their ad hoc sex den (good band name) out of the bunker before Ethel got there? or was it there the whole time but for Ben and Ethel?

I feel I want to write down that Ben abandoned Ethel to ascend prematurely with Dilton otherwise I’ll forget and will be tricked by something later on

POLLY’S KNITTED HALTER

closed captioning capitalized the Shady Man, the second strangest Riverdale skull

Alice really just did Betty like that! maybe Betty DOES need to live in a bunker

50 Shades of Betty: “The wig. The webcaming.”

I love how Betty always gets very sarcastically OH, OKAY THEN when she decides to start laying out some truths

Alice stands up and her dress has some sort of insane asymmetrical hemline and she’s also got an ankle bracelet!!!!!!

Dilton Doiley Ethel Muggs is a canonically great dancer the DM: Ethel’s little crush on Jughead circa his birthday party has not abated. even when he was being insane about the Serpents I bet she entertained sweet fantasies of buying a pleather jacket off ModCloth and Jughead “inducting” her. so she found herself a coterie of pliable boys who were also gangly and weird and obsessed with details and pacts and she became their princess. so THERE. you fucking bet she’s gonna get a kiss out of Jughead before she fucking poisons herself

Ethel’s dungeon master voice is giving me a sort of ASMR vibe

I don’t want to veer too wildly but she is wearing a crown, her character has “a crown”

dog, was she about to kill Jughead right then and there? Ethel goes hard. Ethel might go harder than Jughead

“You’re asking me to play Russian roulette!” “I’m asking you to play Gryphons and Gargoyles.” THIS BITCH (in context it’s very smooth and bitchy)

GOD BUT JUGHEAD DID DRINK IT. VERY WELL KNOWINGLY, HE DID IT

Jughead eats: Salud is just the sort of thing I’d expect Jug to say before maybe drinking cyanide (or skol, if he had been watching Ingmar Bergman)

I don’t know if I could drink that much Kool-Aid that fast. Kool-Aid and Sunny D always made my teeth feel filmy. I could definitely down that much Capri Sun, if it were in a pouch the size of my shin

anyway Ethel’s sick move telling Jughead he has to kiss her first got an emotional reaction from me at almost the level of when Cheryl came down to Jason’s wake in that white dress

Jughead and Ethel are almost of a height, which is weirdly lovely

These students are legally children: maybe Ethel put the poison in after Jughead had chosen. I maybe doubt she would’ve just fucking assassinated Jughead

Jughead was reading next to her when she woke up, which is just a specific kind of daydream you have, sometimes

Sixth period is Intro to Film: HEISENBURG

Toni’s pictures are certainly shot with a mind to lighting, depth

is blue light the light of evil? Hiram’s study, the warden’s office?

Archie > Dawson: of course Archie imagines talking to his father and of course he imagines his father telling him to “take one.” I love Self-Sacrificial Lamb Archie (or just momentarily self-sacrificing). better than Fascist Archie!

well, Betty’s room has blue light too. fucking forget it then

although she is SURROUNDED BY EVIL at all times

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: “I trust them more than I trust you” is season one-level Alice-shade

Cheryl’s sheaths: I like very much Cheryl’s bosomy sequin thing and Toni’s back jewelry

I also like the RROTC boys in their like WWII uniforms, which may be anachronistic but still hard vintage, and the cigar girls

Jughead doubts it: there’s so much going on when Betty goes all melty and wipes some of the Fresh-Aid off Jug’s lips and Jug, who is not smiling, looks at Sweet Pea helping Veronica

Best costume bit: Veronica is in magenta, because I deserve it

I can’t wholly endorse Reggie’s non-black plaid trousers paired with a solid black blazer but I CAN endorse Reggie as a whole

Cheryl’s Hiram’s pins: I think Hiram has a fucking octopus pin! I think it is!!!!!!!!

the wallpaper behind Hiram downstairs is...interesting. it’s like a cutout from that Disney cartoon for “Winter Wonderland”

we stay on Veronica’s face for sort of an extra beat, so I can confirm a) she’s still beautiful and b) she has a sparkly thing in her hair

The 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Josie’s got that thing going on where you gem up the part in your hair

God I love a good Riverdale music/mayhem montage. like what were they playing when Jughead ran the gauntlet? fuck sometimes this stuff is just still so good (“Mess Around” when Reggie lunged for Jughead also counts, though not performed live somewhere else in Riverdale at the same moment)

“Anything Goes” is in fact not Kander and Ebb but Cole Porter

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: I love a good bead of bloody spit dangling from someone’s mouth during a slow-mo fight sequence

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: “THAT KID…..IS A STAR.”

that fucking rum, can you believe it? the fucking shade of it all

Fifth period is AP English: OH MY GOD. THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO. OH MY GOD, THE FUCKING HAMMER. THE COUNT OF MONTE MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN YES GOD HOLY BITCH

“Damn good coffee”: the goddamn shot of FP and Alice standing together flanked by the flames of their righteous destruction of the G&G manual

Summer + Blair = Veronica: Veronica is pretty fucking brave to still be living in Hiram Lodge’s HOUSE. and of course that’s what her dressing gown looks like

oh my god, Joaquin is still alive? Joaquin’s STILL HERE?

ARCHIE’S GONNA BREAK OUT OF PRISON AND I MUST CLEANSE MYSELF OF SIN TO BE WORTHY OF ITS GLORY (I trust Riverdale a lot more again at the moment)

so wait, Jughead put the cot BACK? are these two different bunkers? is it the same effing bunker???

“It’s over”: you fucking fool

yes, it’s the same goddamn bunker. the candles are still there! I guess I thought the wicked juju from Ethel’s ~SUICIDE ATTEMPT~ would deter the two of them from FUCKING IN THE EXACT SAME BUNKER but Betty and Jughead literally do not give a single damn where they do it

Jug’s headphones!!!!!!!!!

Cheryl’s expression at reading the G&G manual is appropriately be-Blossomed

The Blossom spawn: she still has a photo of Jason in her locker and I think a sticker that says “Literally no one cares”

What damn high school in America: those manuals have a QR code on the back, so you can play on your phone! GIVE ME THE APP, RAS

who unsheathed Ethel? LORD, WHO LET HER LOOSE?

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NEXT WEEK: Camila Mendes wears glasses the entire time

#riverdale #i say #commentary #tropes

118 notes · View notes

n7soldiered · 5 years

Text

CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE note: I'm crazy busy these days and am getting zero sleep. Worked on this for the past couple of days but my clarity has been fluctuating. I'm sorry if some of this makes little sense or contradicts. I promise I’ll go back to fix this later. I'm just really tired/stressed working overtime. Also, please note that much of this is dictated by interaction, too. It’s obvious who John is closest to.

GENERAL

NAME: John ‘Anderson’ Shepard. ALIAS(ES): n/a AGE: 29 — PLACE OF BIRTH: Shepard was born somewhere on earth. I haven’t worked out the circumstances yet. As far as I’m concerned, he grew up somewhere in Canada because he speaks with a hint of Canadian dialect. I mean, Meer is Canadian, so it makes sense, y’know? I was thinking about following Vanderloo’s origins, have him hail from the Western Netherlands just to shake things up, but, I don’t think it matches as well as having him come from Canada. The accent is just too important a detail to ignore. If I remember correctly, canon states Shepard is from Canada?

SPOKEN LANGUAGES: It actually took an extensive amount of research for me to work this out. I’ve learned that I know nothing about Canada and wow, there are a lot of languages spoken there. According to many statistical charts, I’d found online, John’s accent isn’t strong enough for me to assume he’s from eastern Canada. He probably grew up somewhere in the heart of Canada ( just like Meer’s birthplace ), toward the west coast but not too far out.

So, Shepard is fluent in English, Canadian French, and struggles only slightly with metropolitan ( modern ) French, mainly in correcting his inflection and intonation. Sometimes he forgets how informal he is with his speech, but he’s quick to adjust. He’s also thoroughly acquainted with slang-speech. He learned most, if not all, of his French while growing up on the streets.

I also have this little developing headcanon about John and other alien languages. If there’s a chance he can vocalize the tones required, he’ll want to learn a few words. Maybe even ditch the translator sometimes if he gets good enough, just for the hell of it. Shepard loves a good challenge and he likes to learn about other cultures. He’s rather open-minded and adventurous in that sense.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: John is a demiromantic pansexual, borderline demisexual, if not demisexual, in his adult years. However, that isn’t to say he didn’t have his fair share of flings. By the time he hit the academy, and subsequently, ICT, romance just wasn’t something he had time for. And that served to develop demisexual traits. OCCUPATION: Alliance soldier, Commander, Spectre.

APPEARANCE

EYE COLOR: blue. HAIR COLOR: brown. HEIGHT: 6’2″. SCARS: While I’ve always thought the renegade scars are a cool aesthetic to have, it’s never made any sense to me that the scars are completely limited to their face ( in-game )? John had never put forth the resources to completely heal his facial scarring. You shouldn’t have to squint to see them. If you look, they’re there. Not prominent, but there. When experiencing high emotions or anger, his scars glow orange ‘neath the skin.

Also, please note that the location of John’s scarring correlates with the game’s canon cinematic ( yes, I examined the cinematic for way too long lmao ). The worst of his scarring is located on his chest, midsection, left back, and around and under the armpit. They’d operated around there the most, with the goal of preserving his heart. His right collarbone was completely removed, as well as the bones in his right wrist and shoulder. Scars rope his right arm, starting from the wrist to the upper shoulder. After having been obliterated upon surface impact, his left knee had received a prosthetic. Both femur bones, one right finger, and three left fingers are prosthetics. ... He has a lot of prosthetics. I’m still working on this one, though. Post-reaper war, his prosthesis fuck up his gait. After investing much time in physiotherapy, he discards the wheelchair and adopts a walking cane.

FAVORITE

Wow. I haven’t thought about any of this before so please, bear with me as we get through this. Though I doubt I’ll be changing much, some of these headcanons are subject to change as I develop John.

COLOR: Blue—light blues. Baby blue. Pastel pinks. Pastels(???). I don’t think he cares for extremely dark colors or anything neon. The aesthetic of neon lights reminds him of his childhood, ‘home’, but there’s no fondness tied to the remembrance. HAIR COLOR: Disregarding personal attraction entirely, he thinks blond hair is pretty. Pure. EYE COLOR: I don’t know why this detail amuses me so much but—blue. I suppose there’s a bit of narcissistic bias on his part in that, but, if there’s one thing John likes about himself, it’s his blue eyes. Since that seemed kinda predictable, I’ll point out that aside from blue, hazel eyes fascinate him. Jane and Jyn’s bright green eyes are beautiful to him, and when the light catches just right, Kaidan’s eyes shine an amber gold. And that, my friends, blows the dude’s fuckin’ mind, I swear. Having blue eyes for all his life, it’s enthralling for John to see a weave of green and brown in someone’s gaze. It’s the little things, y’know?

ENTERTAINMENT: This is a ridiculously broad question. When condensed into a measure of a few days, or even a few hours, shore leave doesn’t often provide John enough unfettered time to seek a means of entertainment. He’s kind of a workaholic. However, if there is time on his hands, it’s spent catching up with friends. Maintaining relationships is an absolute priority for John. Regardless of the era, without his companions and loved ones, he wouldn’t have made it this far in life. He feels like he owes it to them to visit and put in some quality time, hanging out and just chatting. I’d imagine they’d go out and eat, go see the latest action vid or whatever. PASTIME: What annoys me the most about this question is that no matter how I explain what Shepard enjoys doing in his free time, he’ll still seem like a complete square. … Like I said, he doesn’t get enough free time as it is. If he isn’t working on reports and whatever paperwork the alliance swamped him with, he’s working out, eating, or getting some goddamned sleep for once.

FOOD: GOD. THIS IS THE HARDEST QUESTION IN THE UNIVERSE WTF. Okay, after dropping another day into thinking about this—and I know I’m going a bit off tangent—I’ve come to the conclusion that John is a Fool.

As awful as it sounds, he prefers eating ration bars, and he eats them way too often. I'm not saying he likes them, I’m saying he prefers them. Although they’re mostly kept for when they’re on the front lines, ration bars aren‘t thirst provoking and they’re nutrient dense, which pass them as ideal for his backward-stupid mindset.

With approximately 4,000 calories packed into a block, he can just shove that in his face and go straight back to work.

It’s also imperative to understand that good tasting food will be eaten too fast; they recommend bad tasting emergency food as it will be eaten only when necessary. John ‘prefers’ to eat bars of chalk, apparently.

When it comes to normal food, John relishes any chance to eat meat. He loves comfort foods such as ribs, steak, mac and cheese, bacon, ham, mashed potatoes, chicken-anything etc. High-calorie count dishes don’t faze him. He could clean out someone’s fridge in one go. On the sweet spectrum ... While he isn’t big on sweets like ice-cream and decadent cakes, that doesn’t mean he’ll turn them down. John didn’t get to have those things as a kid.

He also likes dessert pastries. They’re tiny and delicate and he has trouble bringing himself to eat carefully decorated ones. Has a soft spot for sweet cinnamon and custard-anything. Likes cinnamon rolls and pecan pie. A lover of brown sugar. Still doesn’t know what ‘the hell a macaroon is. Someone buy him a macaroon.

DRINK: I don’t see John as someone who drinks soda regularly. His go-to drinks are water, fruit juices, and tea. As someone who doesn’t drink alcohol, therefore cannot contribute much firsthand knowledge to this headcanon aside from providing detailed descriptions of the taste from various sources, I believe John appreciates good whiskey. Bourbons, if you want to get specific. Ryes on a good day, and rums, on the nights he knows he can kick back without worrying about the next morning. Gin and vodka, on the undoubtedly bad nights.

Still, I don’t really see him as someone who gets absolutely hammered on purpose. Although whiskey will lead to a much worse hangover, even if ingested carefully, something tells me he just doesn’t care for much else? If he drinks, he’d rather the drink taste good.

BOOKS: [ answered ] you mean the concept of shepard, having enough free time on his hands to read a book? sorry, but you’ve got the wrong shepard. i’ll be frank, i doubt he cares much for reading books, less if it’s fiction. unless there’s intel to gain that will aid in his current objective, even biographies don’t make the cut. john reads news reports and mission debriefings … sometimes, if he’s feeling up to it. once again, content relevance and long-term value are what sways shepard’s interest in engagement. besides, he enjoys vids way more than books. less quiet. less boring.

HAVE THEY

PASSED UNIVERSITY: no. HAD SEX: … yes. HAD SEX IN PUBLIC: no. GOTTEN SOMEONE PREGNANT: no. KISSED A MAN: yes. KISSED A WOMAN: yes. GOTTEN TATTOOS: I’m still thinking about this one. perhaps, from jack. GOTTEN PIERCINGS: He’s thought about it as a young, reckless teen, but no. In a normal modern verse, he’s pierced his ears. HAD A BROKEN HEART: Uh. The closest thing John’s had to a ‘broken heart’ is when Kaidan had spurned his offer to join the Normandy SR-2 on Horizon. However, the sentiment had been a direct contradiction to his beliefs at the time. Despite John’s reliable sense of optimism, he had been certain he would die destroying the collector base. The fact that Kaidan decided against joining had eased as much as it had crushed his spirit.

Also can’t forget his reunion with Liara. When she’d kissed him upon reuniting but chose to follow her work instead of leaving with him, he’d felt bitter inside. While he realized she had more important things to handle at the time, John was butthurt. You kinda can’t blame him.

BEEN IN LOVE: Yes. But only after he’d met his ‘canon romance’. John only knew of ‘puppy-love’ before then. STAYED UP FOR MORE THAN 24 HOURS: definitely.

ARE THEY

A VIRGIN: Why would you ask this when, in just the previous section, you inquired if he’s ever had sex? Omg this meme. I suppose I could delve into this, then. Oh, let me just mention, John is ... really, terribly oblivious sometimes. Given his background and his comparatively early admittance into the alliance military, he simply hadn’t garnered enough experience with the normality of intimacy in relationships, be it casual or not. I bet a lot of the social cues flew right over his head.

When individuals came on to him, which did happen a handful of times while in ICT, it was painfully obvious what they wanted, but John was never convinced until they’d slapped down an outright offer. I have a good feeling he lost his virginity around this time of his life. These experiences were more like one-night stands. Extremely cut and dry affairs since most were more focused on getting off rather than expecting something out of it. A CUDDLER: Yes. The little spoon, too haha p: A KISSER: I mean. Does he have lips?? Of course, he likes to kiss. I dunno if he’s much of any good at it... But John’s good at everything he does so. A SMOKER: In his youth, yes. SCARED EASILY: Goddamn right, Shepard gets scared easily. And his fear manifests in a remarkably strange manner if you ask me. But first, I must address what constitutes as ‘scary’. What Shepard faces on a regular basis is life-threatening so, we’ll be disregarding trivial things like horror movies etc ... Fear, for John, evolves into driving factors for him, motivation—for lack of better wording. If anyone—or anything—happens to threaten his loved ones, especially, while he isn’t there to do something about it, himself, Shepard is prone to all manners of violence and extreme behavior. In short, John gets fucking pissed when he’s truly scared.

JEALOUS EASILY: John is. ... Possessive. And I say that with a measure of self-conflict as well, because I don’t think he’s possessive either. It might just be too soon to know. From what I’ve gleaned off his temperament, and his intermittent displays of headstrong aggression, he demonstrates jealousy and possessiveness only when driven too far.

John is a patient man, but he’s far from a saint.

Let’s just say, for example, his lover decides to chat up another individual. Just an amicable discussion. However, that individual seems to inch closer and closer to his lover. Combine that with some not-so-friendly-touches and his lover, made uncomfortable by that, and you will have John seeing red. God, forbid the situation ever flips the other way around. I don’t imagine he’d take infidelity well... Trust is everything to John. TRUSTWORTHY: You won’t find a more loyal, reliable, and honest man. DOMINANT: Oh, god. This is one I’ve been experiencing trouble figuring out. John is ‘dominant’ for reasons that are obvious. He’s a ranking officer; a commander; a spectre, a captain, and above all, a leader. No matter how you crop it, John is a dominant force to be reckoned with. Hmmm. However, when loved ones are involved, and the situation is domestic and not dangerous, John is rendered useless lmao. Around the right people, he’s softhearted and ridiculously malleable. If they asked, he’d bend over backward for them. But only for them, y’know? SUBMISSIVE: I — o h. ... This is awkward. I only just now realized there might be a sexual theme to ‘dominant’ and ‘submissive’. Wow. Okay, well, I’m not gonna get too into that. John is malleable around loved ones. That’s really all there is to it. So far, Jane, Kaidan, and Ryan have him wrapped around their fingers. SINGLE: ( verse dependent ).

RANDOM QUESTIONS

WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE: yes. ACTUALLY KILLED SOMEONE: the count is steeper than he’d like. RIDDEN A BEAST: … Yes? I bet he asked Wrex to piggyback him once. Probably got headbutted instead. And I have no doubt that grunt had to piggyback him when injured. HAVE/HAD A JOB: yes. HAVE ANY FEARS: lkfkjlsflkd. For now, I will list a couple of things because, once again, these are things I’ve only vaguely speculated rather than fully explored.

1. failure. 2. here, have one he reveals himself: ❝ I’M NOT AFRAID TO DIE. ❞ shepard held their eyes, aware they could see straight into the shadows at the bottom of his gaze, and all the harshly controlled thoughts and fears that burned there. he felt the rush of cool air brush against his cheek, and the shift of reality began to decline like the tides of VIRMIRE, falling back from every nerve. john plunged himself into it, down uncertain contours of dislodged sentiments and reverent possibilities on the rise, moving in a disorganized flurry, windswept within his mind.

another distant look in the commander’s eyes. perhaps, fighting one of the many battles that never showed. ❝ i’m afraid of SURVIVING. getting to the end of this fucking war, only to find out i’m ALONE. that everyone I knew and cared for is GONE ! ❞

FAMILY

SIBLING(s): Jane Shepard, Ryan Shepard. ( twins | verse dependent ). canon: none PARENTS: David Anderson. ( adoptive father | verse dependent ) canon: none CHILDREN: none. ( verse dependent? ) canon: none PETS: I will be featuring his pets in a completely different post. TAGGED BY: @risenspectre Thank you! TAGGING: @littleredrenegade @sentinelmade @therevcnant @kyberborne

#( . my favorite one is the food headcanon. i loved this. thank you for tagging me once again. i enjoy writing these so much sdfjlksdf #✯*:･ﾟ ❝ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴀʙʟᴏɪᴅ ᴊᴏᴜʀɴᴀʟɪsᴍ! ❞ [ headcanons ]#ᴀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏғ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴏᴄᴏʟ│✯*:･ﾟ[ musings ]#( . im just hoping to god any of this makes sense #( . i've caught so many mistakes / moments where i rambled about NOTHING that i had to delete a bunch of what i wrote #( . fml.

14 notes · View notes

themjinterviews-blog · 5 years

Text

33. I don't know what you heard about me, but a bitch can't get a dollar out of me.

What are your views on gay/bisexual people? No different than my views of heterosexual ones…I don’t judge people based on generic societal labels, race, religions or sexual preference. Whether I like someone or not entirely depends on their character and their actions as a human.

What stereotype do you think you fit into? I personally avoid stereotyping myself. If other people stereotype me without my awareness, I don’t care to know.

What is your favorite color(s)? Turquoise, yellow, bright purple.

What do you think about abortion? I neither promote it or protest it. Essentially, it’s not my place to tell people what to do with their bodies or babies.

What types of music do you like to listen to? Literally a bit of everything. With the only exception of music that is straight angry-screaming with no melody or lyrics.

What do you do in your free time? Write, make beats, hike, read, draw.

What do you like about most people? They're generally good natured folks just trying to understand their world and find some semblance of happiness.

What do you hate about yourself, if anything? I don’t hate anything about anything, including myself.

What would you do if you found a suitcase full of 9 million dollars? I’d love to keep it, but realistically, that’s a death sentence. Money in a suitcase almost indefinitely belongs to a crime lord, drug king pin or mob boss…and they usually don’t take kindly to being robbed.

What do you think will happen in 2012? Um, it has already happened. Google search 2012 events if you’re that curious.

What do you like about the person you like? Everything. He cracks me up and finds me funny. We have great adventures and conversations.

What are your views on rap music? Never used to like it because I assumed I wouldn’t. Since becoming more open-minded, I discovered I actually dig most rap music.

The WHO’S

Who would you trade places with for one day? Nobody. Too complicated.

Who would you push off a cliff if you had the chance? Mufasa… I’m jealous that he got to be King. I should’ve been fucking King.

Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? Brandon.

Who is your best friend? I suppose also Brandon.

Who is one person you really hate with a passion? Hating people is a relatively immature concept.

Who is someone you wish you got to know? Probably lots of people.

Who is someone you think is racist? My sister is a little bit racist. She doesn’t intend to be, I don’t think, but she can be so closed-minded about some stuff.

Who are three celebs you’d like to kick in the face? I’d like to kick a Real Housewife or two.

Who is someone you pretend to like? No reason to pretend to like anybody. I'm civil towards everyone and if I don’t particularly care for a certain individual, I simply refrain from associating with them.

Who do you think is a big creeper? Nobody in particular.

Who would you go to if you had a problem? Suppose it depends on the nature of my problem. If I have a cavity, I’d go to a Dentist. If I had a tax question, I'd go to my Dad…etc.

Who are 6 celebs you’d do anything to meet? Wouldn’t do *anything*…but it'd be cool to meet Chris Hemsworth, Gerard Butler, the lead singer of Volbeat, Lindsey Stirling, the Impractical Jokers and Eminem.

Who is your favorite relative? I can’t choose just one.

Who is one person you regret meeting? Nobody. Things don’t happen for a reason, but I’ve learned things from each bad experience or mean person.

The WHERE’s

Where would you go if you got kicked out of your place? Probably a friend’s place or a motel?

Where is one place you’d love to travel to? New Zealand.

Where were you born exactly? Exactly? Lol New York is specific enough for now.

Where is one place you would NEVER go to? The Arctic…cold, PolarBear-y hellscape.

Where is your favorite place to hang out? My own space…either my room or a little corner I can set up some writing stuff and pillows.

Where do you like to go to just be alone for a while? Anywhere I feel comfortable and uninterrupted.

Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? Downstairs with the pup.

Where do you keep your old childhood memory items? In boxes or totes in a spare room at my folks.

Where is your favorite place to be? Anywhere sunny, warm and quiet.

Where is the last place you hung out with a friend? We went to Cascade Lake with Laura and her pups for a hike.

Where on your body do you have a tattoo if any? One on my ankle, one in between my shoulders, one on my upper right arm.

Where on your body do you have a piercing if any? Gauged ears and lip piercing.

The WHEN’s

When have you felt most depressed in your life? I don’t think ever. I mean, there’s times I’ve felt like shit and didn’t know why or how to not…but I feel like I still somehow knew all unhappiness was just as temporary as the happiness was.

When have you been most happy in your life? I’m pretty content right now.

When do you like to just be by yourself? When doing creative projects, shopping or cleaning.

When did you pop out of your mother? (Birthday) September.

When did/do you want to move out of your parents house? I moved out a year or two after college. Moved back in once or twice, temporarily.

When did/are you going to graduate high school? High school in ’06, college in ’11.

When did you get your first piercing if any? Got my eyebrow pierced first year of college. Had to take it out for some job or another.

When do you think is a suitable age to die? There's no such thing as suitable age to die. Death kinda sucks at any age.

When did you first break a bone if ever? *knock on wood* Haven’t broke any.

When are you most happy? I have no idea. It varies.

When did school begin for you if you’re still in school? N/A. I’m old as fuck.

The WHY’s?

Why do most teens hate school? Because it's dominated by merciless social cliques and education designed around standardized test scores – not geared towards students developing genuine interest in the subjects.

Why are so many teens having sex/drinking/drugging already? There are so many factors that contribute to this. Society is different and kids are exposed to these concepts in ways that didn’t exist years ago.

Why did Kanye do what he did to Taylor Swift? Honestly don’t know what he did to her, but who the fuck knows.

Who do you think the Jonas Bros are gay, if you do? I haven’t listened to their music or know anything about them. But if they're gay, that’s okay. If they’re not, that’s also okay.

Why is Twilight so over-rated? I don’t know, never read it or watched it.

Why do so many people say your mom for nothing? I have no logical explanation for that phenomena.

Why are you taking this survey? Why not?

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a troop of girl scouts selling cookies on the other side.

Why do you believe/not believe in God? There's no way to ever know if there’s a God or not. That leaves us with the option to blindly have faith in the agendas of organized religions or to constantly be skeptical. I choose the latter.

Why do you dislike the music you dislike? I don’t like music that’s literally just a dude roaring/screaming angrily the entire time. I need like, a catchy beat or melody or some lyrics.

Why did you and your last ex break up? The story is a massively intricate saga that can be succinctly summarized with ‘the guy was kind of a sociopath.’

The HOW’s

How have you been feeling lately? Pretty good, man.

How did you get your last bruise? No idea. I don’t think I even have any bruises.

How are you and your most recent ex? We don’t communicate.

How did you feel when Obama won the election? Not phased. Politics don’t interest me.

How do you feel about the Twilight series? Not my thing. I didn’t want to be associated with the typical Twilight fan base.

How do you like your eggs in the morning? I like all eggs hardboiled or made into like, egg salad.

How are your parents doing? They’re good. They just went to sleep.

How were you raised as a kid? Relatively sheltered, somewhat spoiled. My folks raised us great, in all honesty.

How was this survey? Good, thanks man.

#survey #questionaire #about me

1 note · View note