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tangledinink · 1 year

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Chapter Twelve of I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? is up!!! It's the moment you've all waited for-- the reveal. :000 They boys discover some things about themselves (things they once knew) and visit an unfamiliar place (a place that was once familiar.) Read it on ao3 or below the cut!

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The group’s shocked silence lasted for two, maybe three seconds before it quickly morphed into chaos.

“That’s him! That’s the goat!” Mikey shrieked, pointing wildly. “That’s the goat who has Dad!”

“Leo! Call 911!” Raph commanded. Leo scoffed loudly.

“No way! I wanna kick this guy’s ass. Make Donnie do it.”

“What?! No fair! I’ve called 911 the last six times! It’s someone else’s turn!”

“You have not! I called 911 last time!” April protested.

“That one doesn’t count!”

“Well someone’s gotta--”

“Enough!” Goatman snarled, absolutely bristling, waving his arm sharply. The air around them suddenly felt colder and stiller, and Leo shuddered, gritting his teeth as his posture stiffened. “I am not here to listen to your silly arguments. I am here to bring you home, so you can finally fulfill your purpose.”

Leo gave a short snort of laughter. “Hm, yeah, tempting, but our Daddy actually taught us not to go with creepy sheep strangers, even if they offer us free candy, soooo…”

“What?! Candy? No! I’m talking about your purpose! The reason you were created-- to eliminate the human threat! Come with me, and I can unlock your full potential!”

“How many divine purposes have we got again? ‘Cause I’m starting to lose track,” Mikey complained. Leo rolled his eyes.

“Eliminate the human threat? Yeah, uh, maybe you haven't been paying attention, but in case you haven’t noticed, we’re literally humans.”

The yokai paused for a moment. His face twisted, and he hunched his shoulders back before he gave a forced laugh. “Humans?” He echoed. “Humans?! Surely you aren’t fooled by those silly trinkets! You can’t possibly, actually believe…”

“Oh my god. This guy is, like, for real crazy,” April observed, raising her brows.

“No, you are fools!” He hissed in return. “Humans?! These ridiculous forms are completely fabricated! These are not your true selves! You are experiments! You are soldiers! You’re mutated turtles-- my greatest creations! The creations of Baron Draxum!”

“Baron Draxum? Okay, well, we’ll deal with him when he gets here… Oh… Oh-ho-ho wait! You’re doing that, like, sinister talking-about-yourself-in-third person thing, aren’t you! Oh my god, that’s rich!” Leo snorted.

“Hey! Only Raph can use the third-person!”

“I’m sorry, did he say turtles?” Mikey questioned.

“Oh my fucking god…” Leo laughed, clutching his stomach. “Turtles? I’m sorry, we’re mutant turtles?”

“This guy can’t be serious,” Raph muttered.

“Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure we would have noticed by now if we were reptiles,” Donnie scoffed, one hand on his hip. “Let alone subjects of some kind of biochemical experiments. Which I am intimately familiar with, by the way. Do you have any idea how many community gardens I’ve been banned from?”

“This can’t…” The yokai shook his head, a hand on his brow. “How could you be tricked by such simple magic? I will show you if I have to.”

“Oh, I’d love to see that,” Donnie muttered.

“Come with me--”

“You are out of your damn mind if you think we’re goin’ anywhere with you!” Raph cut in.

“Maybe if you prove that turtle hypothesis thing you have going on, we can discuss it from there,” Donnie laughed, one brow quirked, sounding caught somewhere between exasperated and amused. Honestly, this whole thing was a little bit fucking hilarious. It was also fucking horrible and scary because their dad was missing and a magic criminal had them cornered in an alley, but like. Seriously. Mutant turtles? You can’t make this stuff up, dude.

Draxum sighed very deeply, scowling at their group.

“Very well,” he said, and he snapped his fingers.

Things became unfunny very, very quickly.

If the air had become cold earlier, now it became startlingly hot, just for a moment, the alley rising up at least five degrees, and Leo heard this choked, startled gasp that he immediately recognized as his twin brother. At the same time, a blinding, almost familiar flash of white light overtook the alley, and Leo hissed, flinching away.

When he looked back, he was horrified to find that where his brother had been standing just a moment ago there was instead some sort of green, scaled creature, their eyes slitted and their skin leathery and bumped, and he thought, what the hell happened to my brother? And after a moment of silence, all of them staring in dazed shock, the reptile flailed, floundered, held its own hands up to its face as if to examine them, and promptly began screaming.

And Leo recognized his own brother's screams, so instead he was thinking: what the hell happened to my brother?!

“What did you do?!” Leo shrieked. Behind him, Mikey screamed, too, and he could hear April spluttering out an impressive string of curse words. He just barely resisted the urge to race over to Donnie’s side, to check if he was okay, (he’s not okay, he knows he’s not okay,) to try to help him, to fix it, because he couldn’t just turn his back on the enemy in front of them-- couldn’t ignore the very obvious threat.

“I simply removed the cloaking enchantment as he requested,” Draxum responded calmly. He even looked amused, almost, the very corners of his lips turning up.

“You what!? What the hell are you-- fix it!!! Turn him back!!!” Leo demanded, his voice rising with the very edges of panic, his pulse climbing ever-steadily higher the longer he listened to his siblings scream.

The other sighed deeply, tilting their head to the side. “Do you still not understand? Fine, then. I’ll show you as well.”

Snap.

Leo wouldn’t describe the experience as painful, but it really wasn’t pleasant, either. He swore he could feel his skin being stripped away and reforming; it was like his skeleton itself was being rearranged, his entire body becoming fluid for just a split second before solidifying again in new places, new patterns, new spaces. An unfamiliar weight pulled at his shoulders, forcing his spine to bend, and his hands and feet fell in a way that now felt unnatural to him. His skin seemed to lay over his muscles differently now.

He was vaguely aware of Mikey screaming somewhere behind him a second time, echoing Donatello’s continued wails.

“Guys?” April bit out, her voice high and frightened.

What the hell happened to him?

“What-- what did you do?” Leo repeated himself, his eyes wide, straining, because his vision was ever-so-slightly different than it had been a few seconds ago and he didn’t know how to adjust. He swore to god he was frozen in place. He wasn’t sure when he had ended up on his knees, but he was shaking so hard, he supposed he wasn’t surprised.

What the fuck happened to his body?

“Now are you convinced?” The yokai pressed. “Now, we will be going to my lab whether you want to or not. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. I would highly recommend the easy way,” he hummed, giving a sharp sweep of his arms. Wind tugged at his back and Leo had just barely the presence of mind to glance behind him, his eyes widening in horror to see this huge expanse of black opening up behind him.

Mikey-- (Mikey? They were small, they were wearing Mikey’s clothes, it must be Mikey--) yelped loudly, the inky cloud yanking him from his feet. April jumped, attempting to grab her baby brother, though she only succeeded in falling into him-- both of them swallowed up into the portal. Raph gave a strangled howl of protest, diving right after them, and Donnie was sucked up as well, disappearing from Leo’s sight. His heart thudded wildly in his ears. He could feel the magick yanking at him, trying to pull him in as well.

But Leo had always been the fastest.

Every shred of him was screaming to follow, to chase after his family, to go with his sister and brothers, but he tensed his muscles, his stance widening and holding firm as he set his sights back on the yokai towering before him. A tiny voice in his head whispered in his ears that following wouldn’t help--

No, he had to move forward. This guy was the one hurting them.

Get him.

Leo wasn’t sure if he had leapt forward or if he simply was there. Everything was moving too quickly for even him to follow, the blinding white of panic and rage eating hungrily at the edges of his vision, threatening to overtake him. Either way, he lunged, a cry of protective fury wringing itself from his chest.

"Stay away from my brothers," he snarled, his own throat staggering painfully with the force with which he screamed out his warning, his hands flying forward to grab the yokai by his throat, slamming into him at full speed. He felt the alien velvet fuzz of Draxum’s skin beneath the tear of his fingernails (claws) even as the pair of them were flung from their feet. Gravity was stolen from them both, the portal behind them reaching out to consume them.

Everything went black. For just a second, tumbling through nothingness, floating through the sizzling rush of magick itself, Leo couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t hear anything, all he could feel was the body of the yokai against him, struggling against his grip, attempting to throw him away.

And then this bright, searing lavender light came singing through the world. It didn’t reflect or bounce; nothing was lit up by it. Leo still could not see himself, could not even find the outline of his own hands or fingers. But this brilliant, complex pattern of the palest, gentlest pastel purple lit up bright before him, swirling and twisting in foreign shapes, and Leo just barely recognized that the ribbon of runes they formed echoed the shape of the yokai he had just grabbed.

The body he was clinging to went limp.

The next second, the wind was knocked out of him as they made impact with stone, light coming streaming back into his universe. Leo found himself landing in a heap in their new location, the portal disappearing behind them. Oddly, however, the crash landing didn’t hurt near as much as he would have expected it to.

“Leo!” He heard Raph cry. Leo groaned, still dazed, looking around blearily. Where the hell were they? He glanced over at the yokai who he had yanked through the portal with them, only to find them in an awkward slump just a few paces away, completely limp and seemingly unconscious.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Raph demanded, moving quickly to his side. Mikey was already all bundled up in his arms, shaking like a leaf and absolutely clinging to him for dear life like he was going to fall apart if he let go. And Leo couldn’t even blame him if he did. Mikey had always been the smallest of them, and Raph always the biggest, but Leo thought dimly that the size difference between them now was fucking bananas.

Jesus christ. Raph was fucking huge. And… spiky. Was he a goddamn dinosaur? What the fuck.

“I-- yeah-- I-- I think the goatman got knocked out--” He stammered, still reeling slightly, trying to collect himself, to gather himself, adrenaline still rushing through his veins like it was a racetrack.

Somewhere in the background, Donnie fucking screamed, and Leo immediately forgot about everything else, his head whipping around.

“Donnie!” He cried, on his feet in a second, rushing over to his brother’s side. He had no idea where they were, not having yet taken stock of the location. He was only dimly aware that they were someplace cold and dark, with stone and concrete above, below, and around them. Donnie had pressed himself up against one of the walls, his entire body rigid and his head bent forward, his arms fluttering wildly beside his head in such a way that Leo recognized he was fighting not to hit himself. Good job, Dee. The screaming continued, but every wail that wrenched its way out of Donnie’s mouth was short and grinding, repeating itself over and over like an alarm. It was fucking terrifying. Not for him, but for Donnie, because he could tell that they were completely, totally not in control. Just panicking.

“Hey. Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m right here, Don. It’s alright. It’s okay, you’re safe, I’m right here, hermano,” he tried to soothe, forcing his voice down, calm, steady. He knew better than to touch Donnie, but he would reach over just long enough to tap a button on the side of his headphones that he knew would flip the device into white noise mode. Donnie jerked slightly in response, and the screaming stopped, at least, but he didn’t relax. His arms still fluttered and flapped anxiously, and he shifted just enough to begin rocking back and forth, clenching his jaw and grinding his teeth so hard that Leo was afraid he was going to hurt himself. His chest absolutely shook with the panicked, shuddering breaths he was taking, hyperventilating so hard that his entire body trembled in response.

“Come on, Donnie, it’s alright. It’s okay. We’re safe, Mikey and Raph and April are safe, we’re gonna be okay, but you’ve gotta breathe, dude. Can you try it with me? Like this? We’ve gotta calm down a little bit--” Leo pressed on because this was not his first rodeo. He wasn’t quite as adept at handling these things as their dad was, and at this point, Donnie was pretty good at avoiding meltdowns and panic attacks, armed with tools and tricks and years of therapy, but sometimes they were unavoidable and Leo had always known how to calm them down, always been able to step up and help, the same way Donnie could for him--

But Donnie wasn’t calming down. Donnie wouldn’t even look up at him. Rather, Donnie scrunched up harder, curled his lips, and fucking hissed at him.

And, okay, look, it wasn’t the first time Donnie had hissed at them. Donnie used to love to hiss at people when they were little kids, though nowadays he was more likely to express annoyance with declarations such as “groan” or “scoff” or “eye-roll.�� But he didn’t hiss like this.

He sounded fucking feral. Even more than that, he sounded fucking terrified. He looked like a goddamn cornered animal, his eyes blown out and huge, the scaly skin that now made up his form stretched tight over shivering muscles and his lips drawn back over sharp, pointed teeth. And Leo looked down at his own clawed, three-fingered hand and came to a horrible realization.

He couldn’t help because Donnie couldn’t recognize him. They were panicking because they were in this crazy, fucked up body that wasn’t theirs, and Leo was in a fucked up body that wasn’t his, and looking at him was just a reminder of everything wrong. He was just scaring them more. His being here was just making things worse, and Leo’s throat tied itself in a knot, swelling up as the backs of his eyes pinched with the thought.

“April,” he called, his voice cracking slightly as he desperately turned to look for his sister. She wasn’t far off, watching from a short distance with obvious worry, and she blinked in surprise at the sound of her name.

“Help me.”

---

If Leo was being completely honest, he hadn’t even realized that Donnie wasn’t still nearby. The two of them typically stuck together like glue whenever they were at school. Leo would usually lead the way, and Donnie would trail after, with Leo doing most of the talking and socializing for both of them. And once Donnie got sick of whatever they were doing, he would simply drag Leo off to sit and read or work on some project or puzzle for a while, and Leo would oblige and keep him company. Donnie was always close by, and Leo wasn’t even aware that this wasn’t currently the case, too absorbed in his latest arts and crafts project, until he heard a telltale, high-pitched whine from across the room.

He was on his feet in seconds, abandoning the activity and his classmates to scuttle off in search of his twin brother. Luckily, he wasn’t too hard to find. Both because he was pretty loud, and also because their substitute teacher was crouched down next to him. She was nice enough, Leo thought, but not quite as cool as Miss Mitchelle was, and he wasn’t sure if Donnie liked her at all. It definitely didn’t seem like he liked her too much right now with how he was all balled up, and Leo wasted no time at all in planting himself physically between the two.

Donnie immediately gravitated towards his brother and Leo moved a bit closer in turn, giving Miss Substitute (he didn’t remember her name,) a very displeased look.

“He doesn’t like whatever you’re doing,” he declared firmly.

Miss Substitute’s expression twitched and faltered for a moment before it settled back into something patient and pleasant, though Leo still didn’t quite trust it. “Leo,” she said, “I was just trying to talk with your brother--”

“I can talk to him,” Leo assured immediately, not bothering to listen to the remainder of her sentence because he couldn’t imagine it would be all that important or interesting. He turned to face Donnie instead. “It’s okay. I can always understand him, ‘cause we have a secret twin language. We made it up. Only we can speak it,” he declared proudly, crouching down to lean in towards his brother, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Donnie was still whining a bit, curled up into a ball and shoved halfway inside of a cubby, his arms crossed protectively over his head as he rocked. And yeah, he was obviously upset, though Leo wasn’t completely sure why yet. As such, he got to work, conversing with his twin in the previously mentioned secret twin language.

… And.

Okay.

So.

They didn’t actually have a secret twin language.

But it was close enough! It wasn’t a language, per se, ‘cause it didn’t have words, just noises and chirps and trills and squeaks and babbles. But he still always got the gist of what Donnie was saying, and Donnie would get the gist of what he was saying, too, so it worked. Sooner or later, he could pretty much always get an understanding of what Donnie was meaning based on the inflection or tone of his noises, as well as calm the other down enough so that Leo could coax a couple of signs out of him, so Leo figured it was close enough to language.

Plus, the ‘language’ itself always seemed to kind of settle Donnie down when he was upset like this. Once Leo started humming and squeaking at him, Donnie gradually started to answer with his own chirps and clicks, and, little by little, Leo watched their twin’s body untense and unwind. Leo grinned, moving to sit properly by him, and Donnie moved closer, edging just a bit out of his hiding spot so he could shove himself up against Leo’s side instead, resting his head against his shoulder and settling in there, an indignant scowl still on his face.

Leo grinned, puffing out his chest a bit as he shot Miss Substitute a look. See? He told her so. He and Donnie always understood each other, no matter what, and he could always fix it when Donnie wasn’t feeling good! He was basically the best brother in the entire world. Confident that he understood the problem, he turned back to face Miss Substitute.

“He said you’re not doing the schedule right, and we’re supposed to do math right now,” he announced, crossing his arms over his chest. And he hadn’t even noticed, but Donnie was right, they did usually do math lessons during this part of the day-- not arts and crafts. “And also, he doesn’t like the paper fish we’re doing ‘cause the glue feels bad. So we gotta find something else to do,” he insisted. “‘Cause otherwise Donnie and I aren’t playing.”

Donnie nodded a tiny bit from behind him, and Leo beamed with pride. Understanding Donnie and calming him down wasn’t even that hard. He didn’t get why adults besides Dad had such a hard time with it sometimes. You really just had to listen to him.

---

It took a while for April to calm Donnie back down, (or at least get him as calm as they possibly could be in such circumstances,) but she managed after a bit, his panicked breaths eventually dying down into something a bit more even and steady. Thank god. Mikey thought dimly to himself that he had never seen Donnie freak out so bad, but... he supposed he couldn't really blame him.

He frowned a bit, looking down at his own, unfamiliar hands, and he curled up a bit more, his tail tucking in (oh my god, he had a tail,) as he clung to Raph's plastron (oh my god, Raph had a plastron.) And though it still held comfort, the fold of his biggest brother's arms, bundled up close and held there, this place that he had known his whole life... it suddenly felt foreign, too. Everything was hard and jagged and cold. And even worse-- it was unfamiliar.

He kept staring at his own hands because he couldn't stop himself, and it made his stomach wobble. He wondered bleakly what his own face looked like because he had no idea. He wouldn't even recognize himself in the mirror.

Now that Donnie had finally settled a bit, though he was still curled up and pressed just against April's side, just barely not touching but still squeezed up small against her, Leo finally got up to his feet-- only to immediately lose his balance, falling over onto his back with a loud clunk.

"Leo!" Raph's eyes widened, his muscles immediately bunching up, ready to jump up and go grab his brother. Mikey could tell that he was just barely resisting the urge to scoop up all three of them and bundle them up in his arms and just hang onto them for a while. He had been sitting here long enough for Mikey to notice how fast his heart was beating. Mikey’s was keeping pace. Leo kind of flailed for a second before he managed to redirect the momentum to roll over onto his side, getting himself back onto his hands and knees. A wry, strangled laugh forced its way out of him.

"Alright. Well. Pro tip: center of gravity is weird now," he remarked dryly, his voice strained. "But the good news is falling doesn't even hurt anymore! So that’s great!"

It didn't get a laugh out of anyone. After a moment of hesitation, Mikey slowly wriggled his way from Raph's grip, making his way over to Leo's side. He didn't dare try to walk after watching Leo's attempt, noting that it seemed to be more difficult now without the rush of adrenaline to aid them, so he instead stayed in a crouch, sort of half-hopping-half-crawling over. Raph followed shortly after in a similar manner.

"Can I see?" He questioned softly, and when Leo didn't deny him, he leaned over slightly, moving his hoodie (which was now a very awkward fit,) out of the way enough so that he could examine the edges of his brother's new shell.

(Oh my god. His brother's shell. What kind of a sentence was that? What kind of weird, fucked up make-believe world were they suddenly in? Leo was his brother. He didn't have a shell. He had cool brown skin. He had bouncy blonde curls that Mikey had helped him bleach and dye a red streak in. He had vitiligo 'stripes' over his eyes. He had a bad habit of cycling through boyfriends and insomnia and a shockingly large vocabulary... but he didn't have a shell. He didn't have scales or stripes or claws or a tail.)

He looked anyway, running the tips of his fingers over the top of it, following the curve. He couldn't quite tell if he was feeling the texture of the shell, or just the texture of his own fingers, which were different than they had been; covered in scales, the skin thicker and rougher than it had been before. Bending his joints felt odd, and he couldn't help himself from doing it over and over, as if that might help him get used to it faster.

Every part of his brother’s shell was this cool, ocean blue, just edging on teal in some places, and Mikey thought to himself that, in the very least, it matched his life color perfectly.

He swallowed hard and resisted the tears that were building up in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry right now. He didn’t even know what he was crying about. Because he was scared? Because he was overwhelmed? He wasn’t very good at not crying, but he forced it down, his hands trembling a bit with the effort of it.

"Does it look the same as mine?" He heard himself asking, his eyes flickering over to meet Leo's (which were now not something he recognized, looking more animal than person, though they still retained the same, familiar almond shape. The color, however, he realized, was slightly different. Leo's eyes were brown. All of their eyes were brown, so dark that they were almost black, but now, instead, Leo's eyes were mismatched; one of them dark blue, like water in a cove, like the sea at night, and the other dark red, like ink with blood, like black cherries.)

"I dunno," Leo laughed, though his voice was still shaking. "I don't know what mine looks like."

"They're... kinda the same…" Raph observed from nearby, leaning over slightly to examine them both. His voice sounded kind of hollow, like he wasn’t really there. Sort of far-off. "I mean. The parts I can see. Mikey, yours is more... orangey. And bumpier," he said. "And yours is spotty. Leo's is kinda... stripey."

"Yours is huge," Leo observed with a chuckle, glancing over at their biggest brother, who was always the tallest and largest by a wide margin, but now absolutely dwarfed the rest of them. "And... spiky. You're all spiky. And… and fucking huge, dude. You look like you have fucking paws. And your mouth is all..." He laughed again, scrubbing anxiously at his face with his hands. "You look like a fucking snapping turtle."

Mikey paused a bit at that, glancing over at the other.

Donnie must have said or signed something that the rest of them didn’t catch, because April spoke up next, clearly addressing him. "Uhm, no, yours is... uh. It's kind of flat? And..." There was a pause. "Oh, oh my god, it's, like, squishy!" She squealed, everyone else in the room jumping in response, before she tamped down the noise, biting her lip and getting a handle on her reaction. "Sorry! Sorry, I just. I just wasn't expecting that texture, that's all! It doesn't... feel like what I thought a shell would feel like, I guess."

"Are we different kinds of... turtles?" Mikey questioned, tilting his head to the side. He wanted to laugh at himself when he said turtles. I mean, seriously, turtles? Of all the creatures in the world, turtles? Why were they turtles?

"I guess we must be," Leo sighed, resting his chin on his knee. "We obviously look different."

Mikey frowned, and he thought that his lips might be trembling if he had proper lips anymore, but he wasn't sure if he did or if they could tremble or what that would feel like if they did. Okay, fine. Now there were a few tears.

"Does that mean we're not brothers?"

A beat of silence followed.

"We're not," Donnie said, and quite frankly, Mikey was surprised to hear him speaking. Small miracles? Kinda…?

"Yeah, we are. Don't be crazy," Raph immediately refuted, his brows (er... brows? Place where brows once were?) furrowing together, and Mikey was desperately relieved to see that the space in between still wrinkled into a crease the same way they always did. "Of course we're brothers."

"Evidently, we're not even the same species," Donnie hissed out bitterly, drawing himself up even closer, even smaller, into a little ball. "It's literally impossible."

"Come on, Dee--"

"We're not even human!" Donnie snapped, hunching up his shoulders. "We're not even people!"

"Hey, look, come on you guys," April tried to soothe, holding up her hands as if to calm the group. "It doesn't matter if you're turtles! It doesn't matter to me. I love you guys no matter what--"

"Oh, wow, what a comfort!" Donnie scoffed, and April bristled.

"Okay, look, I am trying to be helpful! I know that this fucking sucks but you do not need to take out your nasty attitude on me!"

Leo suddenly laughed-- loudly, painfully-- tilting his head back and letting his shoulders slump so he could stare up at the ceiling. "Oh my god. Jesus christ. We're not people," he bit out in between his barely restrained hysterics, squeezing his eyes shut. "We're freaks, dude!"

"Leo, c'mon."

"We're not even people!!!" He repeated. "Fuck. We never even had a chance, and we didn't even know it!... Oh my god, we’re such morons!!! Hahaha-- welp! This is it! Pack it in, boys, it’s all over!"

"Leo, chill. What are you even talkin’ about?"

"Did you know I was gonna go on T?" He questioned, turning around sharply, suddenly, to face Raph. "Me and Dad were talking about it. For, like, a while now. And I was gonna start T, finally. Do you know how much I wanted to do that? Do you know how long I've been waiting to get to do that?"

Raph frowned. "Leo... This doesn't mean--"

"How the fuck is that going to work now!?" He interrupted. "How is anything gonna work now? We're fucking! REPTILES! Raph!!!"

"I KNOW THAT!" Now Raph was yelling, too, and Mikey flinched a bit, hiccuping softly as he drew himself down, retreating slightly, halfway into his shell (oh my god, he can do that now?) "You think you're the only one who was lookin' forward to stuff? I was--" He cut himself off, breathing in deep and then letting it out slow, his jaw tensed.

"Look. I know this... sucks. But it's not gonna help to just throw in the towel right now and mourn shit that we don't even know is gone yet, alright? We'll... figure it out," he said. "We don’t even know what’s goin’ on, so let’s just… let's just try to figure it out first. Okay?"

Leo frowned. He looked down and to the side, tightening his hands into fists, but he didn't have any rebuttal. After a moment, he took a deep breath, pulling himself up to his feet for a second time. He tottered for a moment, his arms windmilling until he found his balance and this time he stayed on his feet. He looked around the room for a moment before his eyes fell on the limp form of Baron Draxum, still crumpled in a heap some odd paces away.

"What do we do with that guy?"

All of their eyes snapped over, as though they had all just remembered that he was there in the first place.

"Did you knock him out, dude?!" Raph questioned, his eyes widening slightly.

"No! I mean. I don't think so. Not exactly," Leo said. "It's, like-- he grabbed me and some sort of mystic-magic-whatever thing happened. He lit up with a bunch of symbols and he just... went down. I dunno what happened."

"Well," Raph said, sighing deeply before he pulled himself to his feet as well, doing a similar rock and wobble to Leo before he figured out the new balance he had to strike, correcting his own footing. His long tail swung back and forth behind him, assumedly on instinct, to help. "We dunno how long he's gonna stay down, so we oughta find a way out of here and put some distance between us and him ASAP. We already know where Dad is, anyway."

"Maybe we can figure out where we are," Donnie mumbled bleakly, pulling himself to his feet as well. He seemed to struggle much less than his brothers did, and Mikey noted that his back rounded less than theirs. April got up as well, sticking close to his side, but perhaps hovering a bit less now.

Mikey watched as his family rose up, one by one, finding their feet again. And something in his chest unwound and loosened again. A breath he hadn't realized he had been holding came tumbling out of him.

He didn't know his own face anymore. And he didn't recognize his brothers when he looked at them.

But they were still them. Already, Mikey was completely sure of it. And the change, while still terrifying, felt just a tiny bit less devastating.

He hadn’t lost them yet.

Bracing himself for the coming challenge, he rose up to his feet as well. The unfamiliar weight on his back was more than he had expected and attempted to drag him down, and he stumbled slightly, nearly toppling over onto his back the same way Leo had the first time-- but Raph grabbed his wrist before he could, pulling him forward and correcting him, and Mikey was relieved to find his center of gravity once more. Usually, he would complain about his big brother stepping in, preferring to do things on his own rather than being 'babied' by his older family members, but...

Right now, it was actually okay.

"Okay. Let's do this."

(They took about three steps before Raph yelped and tripped over his own tail.)

---

Though they had tied up the so-called "Baron Draxum" with whatever rope and other scrap they could find in this place, (the longer they were here, the more Donnie began to suspect it was a lab of some kind,) none of them were very confident that it would be able to hold him for very long, if at all, and so they all got to work trying to figure out an exit. But to call this place 'maze-like' was a bit of an understatement.

"This is the worst landmark ever," April hissed in frustration as they turned a corner, only to once again be met with a hog-tied yokai, face-down on the concrete. "We keep going in circles!"

"Okay, look," Donnie sighed. "I know we don't want to linger here any more than we have to, but let's look around a bit and see if there's anything useful lying around to get us out of here. Clearly just walking out isn't getting us anywhere."

There was a chorus of grunts and mumbles of agreement from the rest of his family, and the group slowly fanned out, beginning their search. It was dark here, wherever they were. The ground beneath his feet was cold, with him and his brothers having already ditched and stowed their sneakers and boots after realizing how awkward and painful it was to walk in them with their new wide, two-toed feet.

The space was wide and almost circular, with various tunnels branching off at different levels, all leading away to who-knew-where. Several desks and tables were scattered about the space, each surface covered in everything from charts to pipettes to oddly-shaped jars filled with oddly-colored substances. Donnie just barely resisted the urge to sit down and start working, or to begin snatching and pocketing things as he found them. Instead, he took a liberal amount of photographs of everything they found on his phone.

His impulse control could only get him so far, however, and his eyes narrowed as they fell across a small, purpley-pink gem that lay on the desk, suspended within a small glass case. This certainly looked interesting... Geology wasn't really a passion of his, but something about this just seemed... intriguing. He couldn't quite place it...

Surely no one would miss this, right? It was small! It would be silly not to take it, quite frankly, and he slipped it into his pocket as quietly as he could when he was sure no one else was looking.

Now, if only he could find some blueprints of the tunnels... But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

"So," Mikey said after a minute or so of them searching, and Donnie sighed internally. Of course, they couldn't expect him to stay quiet for that long. "If Raph is a snapping turtle, and me and Leo are turtle-turtles, then what kind of a turtle is Donnie?"

Donnie rolled his eyes, scowling. "Okay, well, first of all, do we really have to discuss this?" He hissed, immediately bristling. "I’d highly prefer we not address the proverbial elephant in the room, thank you! Second of all, 'turtle-turtle' is not a species."

"Yeah, but, like, we have turtle shells!" Mikey explained. "But April said yours is squishy. So what does that make you?"

Donnie sighed deeply. Talking about this made his skin itch.

"A softshell turtle, I suppose."

"A softshell?" Leo questioned, raising a brow. "That's a thing?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that off the top of your head?" Raph questioned.

"Some of us actually paid attention during biology classes," he responded dryly. And having a near-photographic memory did, admittedly, help as well…

"Whoa!" Mikey absolutely beamed. "That's so cool! Now we just gotta figure out what kind of turtles me and Leo are!"

"Well, I'd look it up if we had any service. And also if it was even close to being an appropriate time for us to waste our efforts on something like that," Donnie said with a roll of his eyes. He knew that Mikey was just distracting himself, finding a silver lining so he didn’t break down, but Donnie didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to think about how much of their entire lives was completely fabricated, about how--

He snorted, suddenly doubling over with laughter.

"What?" April questioned, raising a brow.

"I just-- I just realized!" Donnie laughed. "Our... our moms must be turtles! Fucking turtles!"

There was a beat of silence as this sunk in before Raph gave a similar reaction. "Damn! I guess you're right, huh?"

"Do you have any idea how much time I wasted in therapy talking about this?" Donnie squeaked out through giggles. "I spent so much time with Mossy talking about our mom and how she didn't want us or whatever the fuck and about the stuff she did to Dad and how I couldn't remember her, and she-- she was never even real! None of that ever even happened! She was just a fucking turtle, wasn't she!? We don’t even have a real mom!"

"Whoa! Mind... blown. I didn't even think about that..." Mikey gaped, his eyes wide. "This whole time I just assumed that our mom was probably the hotel lady..."

"Yeah, me too," Leo agreed.

Donnie blinked.

"You what?"

"Well, you know, that woman that Dad was datin’ right before he disappeared," Raph said. "And she runs the Grand Nexus Hotel, right? All the articles I ever read always mentioned her."

Donnie's eyes twitched. "You thought she was our mother?" He questioned.

"Well, that's who Dad was datin’ last! And for a long time, too. It'd make sense, wouldn't it?" Raph defended.

"Yeah. You didn't think that?" Leo said.

"NO! Why would I think that?!" Donnie was laughing again.

Leo huffed in offense, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry, do you know something we don't?"

"Apparently!" Donnie exclaimed. "Guys, you've seen pictures of her, right?!"

"Well, yeah?" Mikey tilted his head to the side.

"She's pale as fuck!"

"So?"

"And our Dad is Japanese!"

"And? Donnie, what's your point?"

"We're black!"

"... Ooooohhhhh," all three of his brothers said, nearly in unison, after Donnie's argument finally sunk in.

"Oh my god," Donnie laughed, covering his face with his hands, scrubbing tears from his eyes. "You're all so fucking dumb..."

"I guess our mom would have had to be black. I mean. We got the Japanese half from Dad, but... I never really thought about where the other half came from..." Raph admitted, his mouth still slightly agape like he was still rolling the thought about in his head.

"Wait a minute," April said, her hands on her hips. "I mean, yeah, all that makes sense, but if you guys have secretly been turtles this whole time, then why are you black?"

"Dude, are all turtles black?" Mikey questioned, his eyes widening.

"I cannot discuss this any further. I'll get a migraine and furthermore cease to function, as I am, and I cannot stress this enough, just barely suppressing the gravity of this whole situation right now," Donnie sighed, gesturing to himself as he turned back to the desk in front of him. "Did anyone find anything yet?"

"Not yet," April sighed, shuffling through some papers. "What even is all this junk?"

"I'm not sure. Some sort of research, it seems like..." Donnie mused, sort of thumbing through a book as he spoke, reading key phrases and chunks of text as quickly as he could and making mental notes so he could refer back to it later. He was more than happy to have something else to focus on, though this would admittedly be a lot easier with human hands. "But I'm still not sure where--"

Shhhh shhhh.

Donnie paused mid-sentence, his brows furrowed. He hadn't noticed that sound before now. He tilted his head a bit to the side, turning in its direction, trying to zero in.

"... Donnie?"

"What's that noise?" He questioned aloud, though his voice was barely above a whisper.

Shhhh shhhhh.

He knew that noise. He recognized it. Where had he heard it before?

Shhhh shhhhh.

... Water, he realized with a start. The noise was running water. Of course. How had he never realized this before?...

That's what he was hearing. That's what he had heard.

"Dee? You good?"

"Guys," he said, turning just enough to glance over in their direction. His face suddenly felt like glass. It was odd. "I think... I think we're in the sewer," he said. "... And I think we've been here before...?"

Before anyone could say anything further, a new noise filled up the space.

Skrrrtttccchhhhh.

---

"What was that?!" Mikey shrieked, immediately leaping behind his biggest brother to hide. Leo and Donnie were instantly gravitating to each other as well, falling into stance on instinct as they stood back to back, each covering the other.

"It sounds like something scratching," April said thoughtfully, and true to her word, the same skritching noise clawed its way through the air a moment later, echoing slightly against the walls. "I think it's coming from over here!"

"April!" Raph hissed off a protest as she took off, heading in the direction of the sound. "We don't know what that is!"

"We will if we go look!" She chirped in reply. I mean, come on, what was the benefit of hiding over here instead of investigating? Weren't they curious either way? Besides, they were stuck here regardless-- maybe they'd find something helpful.

The noise continued as April searched, peering around corners and down tunnels, until, finally, she found her prize. Tucked inside one of the off-shoot tunnels, one of the many dead-ends that seemed to surround this space, was a proverbial treasure trove. A variety of odds and ends filled the space; various amulets and scrolls and chests and even weapons were leaned up against the wall or stacked up on the ground. In fact, a lot of weapons were in here. Was this some kind of a weird armory? Or a trophy room? What kind of sewer has a trophy room?

But most interestingly, she found the source of the noise. Inside a small, dimly lit orb, looking as though it were made of some sort of glass, or perhaps even light, was one of the oddest creatures April had ever seen, clawing sadly at the surface of its prison. It had ears like a chihuahua, pointed and too big for its head, with tufts of fur poofing out from inside, but huge eyes like some kind of a cat. Pointed tusks stuck from its mouth like a boar, but soft, downy yellow-and-blue fur covered its entire, squirrel-like body, complete with a fluffy, wriggly tail.

"AW, you guyyssss!" She called out. "Come look! It's cute!"

"April!" The guys were right behind her, with Raph leading the charge. "You can't just run off like-- jumpin' jack flash! What the heck is that thing?!"

"I dunno!" April said with a shrug, immediately making her way into the room, scooping up the orb so she could examine it, looking for a way to open it up. The little critter inside pattered about excitedly, its claws clicking against the smooth surface. "Help me figure out how to get him outta here."

"Are you sure about that?" Leo questioned. "No offense, but we have nooo idea what that thing is! Maybe it's, I dunno, locked up for a reason?"

"What? C'mon, guys, we've gotta help!" Mikey protested, turning on them with big, pleading eyes. Nice, April thought, with Mikey on her side she had basically already won. Suck it, middle children. "Plus, he was locked up by Draxum. So he can't be bad!"

"Yeah! Ever heard ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend?’" April added in.

"I'm not convinced," Donnie said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I mean, has anyone else noticed that pretty much everything else in this room is a weapon of some kind? Isn't that maybe a bit telling?"

"Aw, come on, Dee. Look at this face!" April insisted, holding up the orb to the others. The creature, to their credit, played their part, pulling an absolutely pitiful face which Mikey immediately echoed, turning to his brothers with watery eyes.

Checkmate.

"Okay, okay, fine. Look, there's gotta be something in here that can help us bust him out..." Leo muttered, beginning to pick his way through the contents of the room with Raph, Donnie, and Mikey following suit shortly after.

"Here, what about these?" Leo said after a moment, turning to face them with a pair of twin katanas in hand. "Think I could slice that bad boy open with these guys?"

April scoffed, clutching the orb close to her chest. "Uhm, and this guy in half, maybe!" She protested. "Can we try something a little less deadly, please?"

"Aw, come on! These are cool," Leo protested, grinning as he twirled them in his hands with a metallic shwing.

"You just like them because you always win at any swordsmanship event at tournaments," Donnie remarked dryly, grabbing a long wooden staff to hold in his hands, testing the weight of it. "... That being said, should we maybe grab some of these just in case?"

"Whaddya mean?" Raph glanced over at the other.

"Well, we haven't even made it to the Hidden City yet, and we've already been attacked once," Donnie reasoned, placing a hand on his hip and frowning. "So it wouldn't exactly be a bad idea to have some weapons on hand in case of an emergency." He spun the bo staff in his hands appraisingly a few times. "I mean, obviously this is a bit underwhelming, but I'm sure I could make some improvements once we got back home..."

"Sounds like a good plan to me! Look at all the stuff they’ve got!” Mikey cheered, immediately diving in, beginning to sort through all the various options they had in the room. He chuckled darkly, swinging a pair of nun-chucks in his hands. “These’ll do…”

“Yo, guys!” Raph called, waving to get his brothers’ attention before pointing to the very far corner of the room. “If we’re gonna take stuff, why don’t we take the glowy ones?”

There was, in fact, a weapons rack filled with floating, vaguely glowing weapons, tucked away in the shadows, which only made the glow all that much more tempting. They were simply begging to be taken.

Mikey and Leo, almost in unison, gasped, their faces absolutely lighting up as they raced over to join Raph. “Ooh, dibs on the sword!” Leo cheered, immediately snatching up the odachi and repeatedly striking poses.

“Hot soup! Check me out!” Mikey snatched up a bright orange kusari-fundo, absolutely beaming ear-to-ear. Raph was nearly drooling as he laid his claim on a pair of tonfas, beaming as he gave a few experimental swings.

“They’re perfect! No one’ll mess with us now!”

“What about you, Donnie?” April questioned, tilting her head back to glance at the remaining brother. “Don’t you want a glowy weapon?”

“And add yet another unknown, uncontrolled variable to our current situation? I’m good,” Donnie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I’ve trained with a regular, wooden bo staff. I’ll fight with a wooden bo staff, thank you very much. You all have fun with your likely-radioactive weaponry,” he said, waving them off.

“Here, April, I got something for you, too,” Mikey chirped excitedly, scampering over to present his find to her. “Ta-da!!! Baseball bat!”

It wasn’t a baseball bat-- it was a club. But close enough! April gasped in delight. “It’s perfect!” She enthused, immediately snatching it up, rolling it around in her hands and tapping it against the side of her shoe a few times. Ooh, and the weight was perfect, too. “And I think it can help us get little guy out of this ball thingie, too! Leo, come hold it still for me!”

"Aw man, why do I gotta hold it?" Leo muttered in complaint but did as he was told regardless, kneeling down to hold the orb steady, taking care in the placement of his hands to minimize the chances of broken fingers.

"Alright," April said, backing up a bit, her tongue sticking out from between her lips with focus. "This won't hurt a bit..."

She swung the club back, taking care to temper her strength, and brought it down on the little ball prison with a satisfying crunch.

"Did it work?" Mikey gasped, his eyes wide as he leaned over. The orb was not shattered nor laying in pieces; but the side of it had caved in considerably, a spiderweb of cracks blossoming from it, and a second later, it simply dissolved as if it had never been there in the first place. The creature that had previously been trapped inside cracked one eye open, having squeezed itself into the very back of its cage, flinching at the oncoming impact, gave an absolute trill of excitement, darting about in celebration.

"There we go!" April said, grinning wide, her hands planted on her hips. "See, told ya I'd get you outta there! That's better, right?"

The little yellow beast threw itself into her lap, wriggling with joy and nuzzling at her with an enthusiastic wag of its tail. "Okay, okay! You're welcome!" April laughed, giggling as she allowed the creature to clamber about in her arms, allowing it time to bounce about before it finally began to settle again.

"Any chance you know how to get out of here, little guy?"

---

Raph looked up from his phone and his tea at the sound of mail plopping down on the table, glancing over to examine the letters his father had just tossed over in his direction.

"For you," Dad remarked, sorting through the remaining mail from the day.

"For me?" Raph echoed, his brows rising up. "Who the heck is sending me mail?" Curiosity took hold immediately, and he abandoned the wrestling video he had been watching previously in favor of tearing open the letters on the table.

He was surprised to find college brochures inside. His father, however, did not seem all that surprised at all, even adding a couple more to the pile.

"It seems you are in high demand," Dad teased, smiling the tiniest bit. "I have received a few emails as well from recruiters recently."

Raph paused for a moment, rolling this idea about in his brain, trying to figure out what it meant and what it tasted like before he forced a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Guess they haven't seen my grades yet," he joked weakly. Dad hummed softly, pulling up a chair so he could sit down next to his eldest son.

"Nonsense," he scoffed. "Your grades are fine, Raphael. You've simply tricked yourself into thinking they're not by comparing yourself to others," he added, giving the other a knowing look. "And besides that, this is hardly the only thing that matters. I have told you many times that grades aren't everything. My grades in high school were terrible!" He remarked with a laugh. "And your career in sports is very impressive."

"I guess," Raph said, wrinkling his nose up a bit as he leaned over the table. Easy for him to say. He had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea of colleges being interested in him when his three younger brothers were right here in the same damn house! Had they really meant to send these to Hamato Raphael?

Dad's hand moved to rub little circles into his back, and he nudged his son's teacup a bit. Raph agreeably took a sip, allowing the warm liquid to trickle down through his chest.

"I know you have not always enjoyed schoolwork, Raphael," Dad finally spoke again. "But you are not stupid. You may very well have the most common sense of any of my children!" He chuckled. "And you have many talents besides that. You are a remarkable athlete, and I know I do not have to drag you over to the trophy wall to prove this to you, but I will if I have to. You are only sixteen and you are already the captain of multiple sports teams... not just anyone could handle that! It is difficult to lead a team. But you have always handled this with grace. And teaching children! That is a talent in and of itself. That is no easy task. Trust me, I know," he said, smiling slightly. "But you are doing so well with your new job. And I am very proud of you."

Raphael glanced over at his father, for just a moment, hesitating like he wanted to say something, but then biting it back.

"You don't have to go to college if you don't want to," Dad added. "If you decide that is not the path for you, that is fine. I won't be upset or disappointed. I did not go to college, either! But I would hate for you to not even consider it just because you don't think you're good enough for it," he pressed. "I know you've always said you intend to pursue a career in sports of some kind, but this is very much an avenue to achieve that if you'd like. Many professional athletes get their start through college sports, you know. And I can already name half a dozen universities off the top of my head who would be thrilled to have you on their team in a couple of years!"

He sighed softly.

"But you do not have to decide right now, my son. There is still plenty of time for you to consider all of your options."

Raph glanced over at his father, shifting a bit in his seat, before looking to the side.

"Uh. I dunno, Pops. I mean. I'm not good at tests and all that junk. I mean. College football could be good 'n all, but, uh..."

He hesitated a second, sort of scratching the side of his jaw, hesitating a bit. "I dunno. Maybe I could... I mean. We could look at it, at least. I was kind of wonderin’ about, uh. I dunno… Just, lately, I was thinkin' about... studyin' early childhood education, maybe?..."

[ next ]

#sorrywhatnowau #sorrywhatnowau fic #rottmnt #rottmnt fanfic #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt au #rottmnt human au #tmnt

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sevcasejay1chicago · 3 months

Note

Hi! Very happy to see you posted again.

Would love to see another Matt, Jay, and Kelly fic w/ morning sickness— maybe a follow up to the last one— where the reader’s morning sickness has gotten worse and one day after waking up in the middle of the night very ill she gets really shaky and lightheaded and the boys try to figure out if they should call 911, call Will, or drive to the ER.

Please no rush— you’re under no obligation to puts fics out fast. Health comes first. I hope life gets better for you soon <3

Here’s the part two you asked for FOREVER ago. I’m sorry for the wait my love!!! I hope you enjoy!!

Morning sickness- Jay, Matt, Kelly

Warnings: vomiting, SUPER fluffy

——————

You all hoped the morning sickness would go away. The boys hated seeing you so scared all the time. You were scared to eat, drink, sleep, and sometimes move. Even after you hit your 14 week mark, it just seemed to get worse. The boys refused to leave you, unless they absolutely had to. Matt and Kelly had decided to take different shifts at 51 to ensure that someone was always with you incase Jay got called in on a case. The intelligence unit was very forgiving and caring, trying their best to not pull Jay away from you unless Matt and Kelly were both home. Things seemed to flow better when two people were home with you. Someone always had you attached to their side while the other could do things to help you and keep up with things around the house.

One day, Kelly ended up needing to head to the store for you while Jay and Matt were at work. You both agreed that you could manage by yourself for the length of time he would be gone, though you weren’t completely confident. You had been feeling pretty sick and had yet to keep anything down, which led Kelly to go get a few things that you could sometimes keep down since you seem to be out of all of those things. You didn’t want to be any more of a burden than you already felt like you were, which made you agree to him leaving for a few minutes.

Everything went fine for the first 10 minutes, until the nausea got bad. You immediately texted Matt, letting him know you weren’t feeling good, as he was the one keeping track of all of your medical issues. In his worry, he decided to head home early, though he did not tell you that. He knew you were having some strong emotions with them changing their lives to take care of you, but he just couldn’t bare to be away from you any longer. This is the worst day you’ve had in a couple days.

Meanwhile, Jay had barely had the chance to set his keys and wallet down on the kitchen counter when he heard running footsteps. Assuming that he was alone since Kelly’s car was gone and you were never alone, Jay crept up the stairs with his gun in hand. He was quick to holster it when he heard vomiting coming from the master bathroom. He knew it could only be you. The sight of you shaking while trying to hold yourself up broke his heart.

“Oh god.” He whispered, heart pounding at the sight of your weak form. “Sweetheart. Sweetheart. It’s okay. I got you. I got you.” He said, running to you. He grabbed the hair you were trying to force out of the way, noticing how it was falling out of the hurried bun you threw it in. “I have your hair. It’s okay.” Jay shushed, rubbing your back and caging you between his legs.

Seconds later, Matt ran in. He could hear the commotion coming from the entryway. “Oh sweet girl.” You blindly reached for him as you heard his voice. “Aw, that’s alright. It’s alright. Just let it out.” Matt cooed, hating to see you so distressed as you heaved violently in Jay’s grip.

Jay leaned forward a bit when you started shaking violently, barely holding yourself upright. “It’s okay. It’s alright. I gotcha.” Jay soothed, strong arms coming around your chest after he let Matt take your hair.

You coughed, heaving in air during a little break. “Mmm, I don’t-“ you broke off into a sob that turned into a gag.

“Oh baby. I know. I know.” Matt shushed, petting your hair back. “It’s alright. It’ll be over in a minute.”

Simultaneously, Jay was whispering in your ear. “It’s alright. We’re here. We’re here. I know sweet angel. I know.” Jay soothed, kissing your shoulder.

“Mm-make it s-st-stop.” You grunted out, clutching your stomach.

“Shhh. I know baby. I know it’s uncomfortable and it hurts. I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Matt shushed, seeing that Jay was doing everything not to break at your cries. He was a strong man, but you turned him into jello in your hands.

“Oh God.” Kelly said, sliding through the door. “I was gone for 30 minutes. I’m so sorry baby.” Kelly explained before coming to sit on the lip of the tub on your left. “It’s okay.” He soothed, taking the hand you reached out to him. You seemed to finally start to empty, mostly dry heaving. “Yep. All out baby.”

“You all done?” Matt asked, reaching for some toilet paper to wipe your face clean.

Instead of answering, you tried to push yourself to your feet to rinse your mouth out. “Whoa whoa. Don’t get up. Your pale and shaky. Just sit right here and let me rub your back, yeah?” Jay said, catching you by the waist and sitting down with you. You turned sideways in his lap, allowing him access to your back. “There we go. Oh I know it. I know your stomach hurts. It’s okay baby.” Jay soothed as you whimpered, kissing your temple.

You looked at Matt through hazing, tear filled eyes. “Aren’t y-you s-su-supposed to be at w-work?” You managed to get out, trying to wrap your brain around what was going on.

“Shhh don’t try to talk. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine babe. Let’s worry about you and talk more later.” Matt shushed gently, worried about how pale you were and how sluggish your eyes and brain were. They needed to get some sugar in you. “Think your completely done? Maybe we can try some Gatorade.” Matt said.

Just the mention of putting something in your stomach had you heaving again. You pushed off of Jay and leaned over the toilet again, heaving hard.

“Oh. Okay okay. It’s okay baby.” Jay soothed.

“That a girl.” Kelly praised, clutching your hand again.

“Hurts.” You wheezed out, clutching your stomach with your free hand.

“Yeah. I know baby. I know it hurts. It’s okay.” Matt soothed, looking to Kelly. “Think we should take her to Med or call for help? She isn’t looking good.” Matt said, knowing you likely weren’t actually hearing him as you went through another round of violent heaving.

Both boys looked at you as you sucked in air, finally calming your stomach some. You stared off into space, seeming to lose track of reality.

“Baby. Are you okay?” Kelly asked, cupping a hand under your bicep.

Jay felt you sagging and immediately pulled you into his chest. You were hot from all the puking, but you were barely sweating. “Call Will. Tell him to bring an IV bag over here. She’s dehydrated.” Jay instructed, standing with you in his arms. You whined at the sudden movement, but clung to Jay’s neck.

“No. I’ll drive your truck with lights. Matt, call Will and have him get a room ready at med.” Kelly said, using a tone that left not room for arguments.

The ride was fast and Will barely had the room set up to check the baby and get you hydrated before Jay was running in the door with you. Nat saw you being carried through the door and ran into the room, helping put the baby monitor on you while Will put an Iv in.

Hours later, the baby seemed to be settling and you were starting to come around. You weren’t happy that you had an Iv in your hand, but you were pleased to see Jay and Matt sleeping peacefully while Kelly stood with his back to you.

When he heard you shuffle around in the bed, he quickly wiped his face and turned to you.

“Oh baby. Hey sweetheart.” Kelly cooed, barely above a whisper. He immediately came to your side, taking your hand.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, wiping left over tear tracks off of Kelly’s face after he kissed you briefly.

“I’m sorry I left you.” Kelly whispered, bottom lip quivering as he spoke.

“No no no.” You whispered. “Come here.” You demanded gently, tugging him into the hospital bed with you. “It’s not your fault. You were trying to take care of me the best you could. I should have spoke up.” You said, cuddling into his side, careful of the wires and tubing.

“Damn right you should have.” Jay mumbled, staying seated as Matt laid resting on his shoulder. “Don’t ever do that again.” Jay whispered, pout on his lips.

“Yes dear.” You replied, hiding in Kelly’s chest as Jay gave you his “dad” eyes. The “you just wait” eyes, but not in a good way. You knew he was playing, but you also knew you scared the crap out of your lovers. You just hope this kid chills out.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

@stellakiddsblog

@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

@celtic-shadow-wolf

#one chicago #one chicago x reader #matt casey #kelly severide #jay halstead #fluff #matt casey x reader #jay halstead x reader #comfort #kelly severide x reader #emeto fic #emetophobia tw

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bitchinbarzal · 1 year

Text

hold on | J.Hughes

summary; just when Jack wants to give in, you tell him to hold on just a little longer

warnings; suicide, talks of death, ambulances, hospitals and substance abuse.

I took a more soft approach than I intended

Read at your own discretion

Jack should feel so blessed.

He has a great family; his two brothers and parents doted on him from day one, he had his dream job that he’d worked on for years and his friends were the very best friends he could’ve ever asked for.

So why did he feel this way?

Why was he allowing a girl to break his heart and make him feel useless.

Jack Hughes. Useless.

Layla had told him over text that she had slept with her roommate while he was away on a road trip to California. Jake. Fucking Jake.

Jack knew he wasn’t gay, like Layla had told him so many times when he brought up their flirting.

Jack didn’t want to tell anyone what happened, not on the road. He didn’t want the pity stares and the second guessing of his game.

So he kept quiet throughout the roadie. His game tanked in San Jose, he heard the comments in the media;

fraud

fake

not good enough

There was a break in games when the devils returned home, leaving Jack to sit with his own thoughts. Layla had attempted to visit but he wouldn’t let her in.

He let the media consume him, the news articles and TikTok videos. All calling him out for not being good enough, he was a bust.

His feelings started almost subconsciously. When he was out at the store he would pick up bottles of painkillers as if he’d not bought bottles the day prior.

He began ‘forgetting’ to call and text his family and friends. His way of preparing them to never hear from him again.

People began to get concerned for him, he wasn’t himself.

A week into his depressive episode Jack tried to get back out there. He ventured to Raya.

He started talking to a model, she seemed nice and they organized a date only for him to show up and she couldn’t stop talking about followers and social media, how being with someone famous like Jack would do good for her.

Jack paid the bill and he left.

Just another girl who saw him as nothing more than just another pretty boy.

The bottles lined up on his bathroom counter, caps off as he stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red and bloodshot and his palms were sure to have cuts from his grip on the marble countertop.

He took them, all of them.

The empty plastic bottles clattered against the floor once he’d tossed them, his chest heaving while they slipped down his windpipe.

He was sobbing and he wasn’t sure why. It felt right. To cry and mourn the life he was taking away.

It didn’t happen all at once. Jack expected it to happen faster but he felt fine.

He found his phone, texting ‘i love you’ to his friends and family. A few replied with similar

Others, his brother Quinn questioned him

what do you mean? what’s wrong?

Quinn called him. He declined.

Quinn called again. He declined again.

Quinn text. And again. And again.

When Jack declined Quinn’s call for a third time, he called 911.

“Hi yes my brother, he’s acting weird and I think — I think he could be hurting himself”

Jack sat on the bathroom floor as the pills slowly worked their way into his body, his fingers began getting numb and he became drowsy.

He didn’t know what was happening but he heard a lot of yelling and the door of the bathroom flew open.

On the other side of the door was you, chest heaving as you stared down at him

“My god, dude your doors are heavy!”

You dropped to your knees next to him, pulling out liquids and needles while you simultaneously turned jack towards the toilet bowl.

“Who?” Jack slurred.

“It’s okay sweetheart, I’m here to help. My names y/n, I’m a paramedic. I hear you’ve got an awfully concerned big brother” you explained, using the time he was distracted to slip the needle into his arm while held the liquids he was about to need.

“I Just, Go! I want to die!” He demanded, shoving you as much as he could.

You shook your head “I can’t let that happen Jack, You have so much to live for”

“No” he cries “I hate you, stop!”

You turn him towards the toilet bowl once more and you say “You’re about to hate me so much more”

And before he can question you, you shove two of your fingers into his mouth and hit the back of his throat. He gags and tries to pull your hands out but you grab the back of his head and stop him

“I’m sorry Jack, I hope you’ll forgive me at some point”

He’s puking all over your hand and although he’s in no position to, he feels embarrassed.

Once he has vomited a sufficient amount your second paramedic has arrived with the gurney.

“C’mon bud let’s go to the hospital” you mumble, helping him up. He holds onto you, his hands are shaking and you can hear him softly sobbing.

Your heart breaks for him as you watch him, confused, sit on the gurney and be strapped down.

When he’s loaded in, he’s looking around as if he’s looking for someone. You smile as you go to grab the keys from your partner when Jack reaches out and grabs your hand

“Please don’t leave me”

You nod, jumping in the back with him.

You sit in silence for a while, filling out forms and checking his meds until Jack breaks the silence

“You’re not gonna ask why I did it?”

You hum “It’s not my place to question you”

“You’re not curious?” He presses.

You sigh, putting down your clipboard

“Do you want me to ask? Do you want me to question why you, Jack, hate your life so much to want to end it? What, because you’re a hotshot hockey player you think mental health can’t touch you?” You reply.

Jack physically gulps “how did-“

“Jack, you’re worth so much in this world. More than hockey! You’re gonna be a dad one day and get married? You’ll take trips across the world with your friends and you’ll do loads of exciting shit!” You exclaim, the smile on your face put one on Jack’s

He looked down at his hands and you huffed before standing to adjust his saline bag

“It was a girl” he mumbled and you frowned

“Huh?”

“It was a girl that I was getting to depressed over”

You tut and sit back down on the bench

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing! You seem like a great guy Jack and you have a caring family, your brother was really worried about you is what dispatch said”

Jack’s lips created a thin line and he hummed before he said

“Do You do this a lot? You were really calm today”

You chuckled softly “You are the first suicide attempt I’ve ever been to and I am actually having a major panic attack internally right now”

“Oh” Jack’s mouth creates an O shape “Sorry about that”

You brush it off with a soft smile.

“You’ve got so much to live for Jack, I promise”

Once you’re at the hospital and he’s being pulled out of the ambulance he grabs your wrist once more, bringing your attention to him

“What do i have to live for? Tell me”

You give him a smile and hold his hand

“It’ll happen Jack, just hold on”

“C’mon baby, just hold on a couple more-“

“He’s here!”

You throw your head back and cry out “Jack! What does he-“

“He’s so perfect baby, he’s fucking beautiful” he cries, kissing your head repeatedly.

That night, the rooms quiet and jack is sitting in the chair next to you while your son sleeps soundly on the other side of the room.

You look over to Jack and give a sleepy smile

He smiles back and said “was this it?”

“Was this what?”

“Me holding on. Was this what I was holding on for?”

Your face drops remembering that day

“Was It worth it? What I described?”

“It Was everything and more, thank you for saving my life in more ways than one”

#jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #nhl imagine #tw: suicide

271 notes · View notes

royallyprincesslilly · 1 year

Text

Title: If This Is Love, You Need To Mean It {3}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Heavy Angst, Plot Heavy, LOTS OF WORDS, Heartbreak, Cursing,

Words: 6.3k

Summary: The fallout of Lewis’ actions is real, as is the freeze-out. You’re fuming but brokenhearted. Not only do you feel like a fool, but you also feel used. Was any of it real? Making sense of this mess is the first thing you have to do.

Note: Part 3 is here! The plot thickens, as does the tension and angst. LOL. Part 4 is coming because it was too long.

Note II: Italicized text is a flashback/memory or someone’s words all from some time in the past.

As always, thank you all so much for reading. I truly appreciate it!

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous: If This Is Love, I Don’t Want It {1} | If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It {2} |

~~~~~~~~

-Lewis-

“Y/N.”

You didn’t respond. Hell for the last fifteen minutes, you’d been unresponsive and the longer you remained this way the more he panicked.

“Y/N?”

He gently shook you not wanting to be too rough. He was already in such deep shit that he didn’t want to make things worse. He always felt like he was one step away from just catastrophic failure. He had failed, he thought.

“Y/N.”

“Should we call 911?”

“No. The paps will be here in seconds. I don’t think she’d want even more stories about her out there,” Daniel replied ending Miles’ panic.

“Fam, just—let me—shit.”

He gripped his head and tried to think. Daniel was right. After the last week and change the stories running wild about your hospitalization had only increased and the longer you went without making a statement it only made them more brazen to make things up. He cringed feeling renewed guilt over the situation. It was his fault. It was all his fault. To think he’d only wanted to defuse a situation and keep you safe this entire time, but he hadn’t kept you safe.

“Lew,” Anthony began placing his hand on his shoulder.

“What do we do?”

He began to dig in his pocket ready to call your father. He’d have a lot to explain as to why you were there let alone passed out, but he didn’t see any other way. In the back of his mind he himself thought about the reason why you were there.

“Why was she here? How?”

“She was hiding behind the bar when you told us to hide,” Miles said.

“Hiding?”

“Yeah, with bags. Maybe she came to clear her stuff out.”

His chest tightened at the thought of that. Had you been there to get your stuff making this breakup final? He didn’t like that one bit. He didn’t want this break up; he never did. Renewed hatred for Aleeza sparked within him but part of him felt like he too held blame.

“She’s not waking up. What if she needs a hospital?”

Andrew sounded panicked now. Normally he and Daniel were the calmer ones. Their panic made him panic more. Maybe you were still suffering from whatever had landed you in the hospital. He pulled his phone then to dial your father, but a soft moan filled the room. All four of them hovered closer watching you closely. Again you moaned, then groaned as you shifted on the leather couch.

“Oh thank god,” Miles said dropping into one of the other couches.

“Angel Eyes?”

Your eyes opened and slowly focused. He couldn’t read you at all but after several moments your brows knitted together and you sprang up.

“Oh my god,” you groaned gripping your head.

“Are you all right, Y/N?”

“Should we call 911?”

Daniel and Andrew’s questions blended together.

“No,” you croaked out as your hands framed your face.

“Are you sure? You passed out just now. You were out for almost 30 minutes,” Miles inquired.

“And you were just in the hospital,” he said.

You looked at him then and if looks could kill, he would have been ten times over. Flinching, he looked away from you.

“I’m fine,” you snapped, swinging your legs over to rest on the floor.

“Can you guys give me some space—please?”

Getting the hint, they backed up. Daniel and Andrew joined Miles on the couch while he took a few steps back never taking his eyes off of you. He watched as you rubbed your temples with circular motions. It was an action you did often usually when you were trying to stave off a headache or trying to relieve stress or when you were trying to make sense of something.

“What the fuck is going on?”

It was an expected question at an unexpected time. Glancing at his boys, they exchanged looks of various levels of panic and confusion. When no one spoke you looked at them expectantly. You didn’t look at him, he noted.

“Hello?”

“We don’t fucking know. She shows up here and he tells us to hide then we see you hiding already and then we hear the biggest villain masterplan I’ve ever heard,” Miles recounted.

“What are you doing here?”

It shouldn’t have been his question but he wanted to hear the words from your mouth. You glanced at him but dropped your eyes after a few short seconds. You bit your bottom lip and then shook your head.

“That’s not important. I’m asking the questions. Why was Aleeza here waltzing in here like it’s not her first time and what the fuck were you talking about because—what the fuck!?”

“Fellas,” he began, ready to ask them to leave. “Maybe y’all can give us--.”

“No. They’re staying. Now explain.”

Your eyes were cold, and it broke his heart. You’d never looked at him like this before until that day in Monaco. The day he’d set all this in motion. Taking a deep breath, he rubbed the back of his neck and then began pacing. If you’d been behind the bar from the beginning then you’d heard everything. There was no point in trying to keep the details from you now. still, he hesitated not wanting to put you in any more danger or hurt you more.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, angel eyes.”

“Don’t call me that! And you don’t want me to get hurt!? That’s fucking rich, you’ve already fucking hurt me!”

You bolted to your feet, and he felt the heat of the flames of your anger. As if something inside him snapped he darted up seconds after you shouted.

“Do you think you’re the only fucking person hurting right now, Y/N?!”

He knew he probably shouldn’t have said it because you had every right to be furious with him right now, but he couldn’t stop the words. He was hurt too. You had no idea what it took of him and from him to put on that fiasco and live with the fallout. You had no idea what he’d been through, you had no idea how he felt during all this. Was it fair for him to be this angry at you, no, but in truth, he wasn’t angry at you at all. He was angry with himself, angry with the entire situation.

You stepped closer to him and threw up your middle finger at him, “Oh fuck you, Lewis! Don’t you fucking dare throw that at me. This was you! This was your doing!”

“Ehm,” Daniel cautiously began stepping forward and wedging himself between the both of you.

“Let’s all calm down.”

You spun around sharply then paced back and forth. He was very familiar with your anger, but this was different. He hadn’t ever seen you this angry before.

Daniel sighed, “Man, I think you should just tell her everything.”

“I second that,” Andrew added.

“Me too, cause I’m lost as fuck,” Miles finished.

He sighed then gripped his head. The slight force of his squeeze helped alleviate some of the pounding in his head but not much. Now that it had come to this, he had no choice so he conceded. Dropping down to the couch, he rested his elbows on his knees and then took a deep breath.

“Aleeza’s been blackmailing me for weeks.”

“Why?”

He dropped his head backward then steepled his fingers under his chin. “She found out we were together and has been using that to--.”

“From the beginning Lewis,” you hissed.

If he were a weaker man he would have flinched from the pure rage and venom in your tone.

“About a month ago Aleeza came over here with an envelope filled with pictures of you and me.”

“What pictures?”

He walked across the floor then into his office and unlocked the safe to pull out the dark yellow envelope then walked back out to you. He placed it on the table and waited for you to take it. You stared at it like it was an untrustworthy foe that could strike at any moment. He could guess what you were thinking. Rather than talking more, he waited for you to take up the envelope. A full minute passed before you did. Once you’d dipped your hand inside and came away with the stack of pictures, he watched your face closely.

He knew the photos well. They were of you coming over, leaving days later, you guys making out in the car, jogging together, a few of you having sex that he still didn’t know how she’d gotten. It still made his skin crawl from the level of the breach to his privacy he’d been victim to. However it wasn’t only his privacy, it was yours too.

“Shit,” you whispered.

He knew it was the picture of you on your knees in front of him with his dick in your mouth.

“How did she get these?”

“I don’t know,” he replied somberly. He knew what you felt. Violated.

After a few moments of silence, you slipped the pictures back into the envelope and then looked at him.

“Then?”

Your eyes were cold once again, he couldn’t decipher anything inside them, and it hurt more than knowing he’d fucked up. You were so, so far from him. He couldn’t reach out to you, but you were right across the room, close enough to touch. Only he didn’t dare try to.

“She said she’d show them to your father, so he knew that I breached my contract in a way that warranted immediate dismissal. She knew the specific details of my contract, she knew shit she wasn’t supposed to, shit only Toto and your dad should know. She said she would blow up my entire life and move on to Wednesday like Tuesday was nothing. I asked her why and what she wanted, and she said she wanted me to end things with you.”

“And you agreed,” you spat at him as if the words tasted like chewing tobacco.

“What! No! I told her no that there was no chance in hell. I told her I’d take my chances with your father and my contract. I told her I wouldn’t. I even went as far as to call your father then and there, but she snatched my phone away. I must have pissed her off with that because she saw she couldn’t control me, and I was ready to drop napalm on my life and career for you.”

He chanced a glance at you hoping his words were making it through the hard shell of your anger, but you gave nothing away. You still looked at him like he was a stranger you didn’t trust. Again he sighed, then shook his head.

“So her threat turned lethal. She said she would see to it that you had another accident that was worse than the one outside the gala that night. It didn’t make any sense to me how she worded it, but I didn’t put it together then. I didn’t think it was possible, that someone would be able to do something like that, especially to her husband's daughter. I just—I didn’t think. I did see that she was serious though and I didn’t want to risk you.”

“Why didn’t you tell my dad?”

“With what proof, angel eyes?”

“Stop!”

Clenching his jaw, he took a few calming breaths, “I had no proof. It was my word against hers. What reason would your father have to believe me? I couldn’t take the chance of that setting her off and her actually doing something.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to protect you. I wanted to keep this as far from you as possible. I thought fine I’ll just end things in a way that I knew we’d find our way back to each other, a way that I knew wouldn’t mean anything because of what we felt for each other.”

Your eyes softened then but within seconds they hardened again. Had he really lost you?

“I thought I could handle it,” he said, his voice low.

You scoffed. “And handle it you did. Con-fucking-gratulations!”

“Y/N,” Miles cautiously said as if he was trying to cut through the aggression you were charging the air with.

You sat, crossed your legs and arms then glared at him.

“And then?”

He hated this part. “She said she wanted it done in a way that—that--.”

“Spit it the fuck out you’ve already done the deed, own it.”

“That’s not really fair,” Andrew piped up.

Your glare slid to him. “You can get the fuck out if you want Andrew.”

He lowered his eyes but didn’t speak again. You then brought your razor blade glare back to him.

“She wanted it done in a way that what?”

“That broke your heart, a way that you wouldn’t recover from.”

“Wow. I guess all those actors in Hollywood don’t have shit on you. Lewis Hamilton for best actor, best screenplay, and best heartbreaker,” you said in a condescending voice as you clapped loudly.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whose idea was it?”

Shifting his eyes to the ceiling, he tried to buy himself some time, however, your disgusted laugh filled the room. It went from disgusted to hysterical, almost like the Joker’s unhinged one. When he looked at you he could see your eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Tell me? Who came up with the plan?”

This was harder than actually following through with the plan. Sitting across from you seeing the pain in your eyes, hearing the betrayal in your voice he wanted to do anything to take it away.

“Y/N,” he began on a whisper.

“Tell me!”

“Mine. I knew there was no way you’d believe anything less, no way you’d accept it, no way it would feel real unless it was this.”

“And how did you know that?”

Your eyes remained on his and you waited.

“Because of how you felt for me.”

It was then your tears fell and those droplets felt like ice shards embedding themselves in his chest. Daniel held out a box of tissues for you, but you ignored them and opted for the backs of your hands.

“Eh-em, so you planned that day in Monaco, planned it to perfection and had her there watching?”

“It was her idea. She wanted to see it to be sure it happened.”

You nodded.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. It was hands down the second hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I could barely get through it, could barely breathe saying the words to you. I—I didn’t fuck them though. I couldn’t do that to you—I wouldn’t.”

You looked dazed now and everything in him screamed to go to you. He stood and took a step to you.

“Don’t you fucking dare come near me!”

Just like that, he stopped in his tracks. It wasn’t your words, but the hatred in your eyes.

“And tonight she came to collect the rest.”

You snorted then wiped your cheeks again. “All of this for your overly used dick. All of this to be one of the many in a long, long line.”

“Okay look that’s not fair,” Andrew said standing.

“It’s all right,” he said trying to stave Andrew off.

“No, it’s not. Look, Y/N, I get this is a lot and fucked up on so many levels and you’re hurt—a lot--.”

“Hurt.”

You giggled. “Hurt?” More giggles came until they turned unhinged again. “Hurt? Stubbing your bare toe is hurt. Hearing someone you trusted telling the secrets you trusted them with hurts. Hearing the person you’d been spending the last 18 months with didn’t feel inclined to share something important with you hurts. Hearing that the man you’ve spent the last 18 months with may not be who you thought hurts. This? What he did, doesn’t hurt. It destroys. I am fucking destroyed. I’m gutted! You gutted me, Lewis!”

“He didn’t have a--,” Andrew began but he cut him off.

“No, she’s right Andrew. I fucked up. I’m to blame, no matter why I did what I did or my intentions, I fucked up. My actions—I’m sorry angel eyes.”

~~~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

You sprang up again and began pacing. It was then you flipped your switch. It was one of the many skills you’d developed being the daughter of Jordan Y-L-N. One of the skills you’d been trained in to prep you for living life in the public eye and being a constant target for any and everything. It was a skill you’d perfected when your mother passed. Each and every time you did it, you found it easier to separate yourself from your current reality to focus and dull every useless emotion.

All the pain, hurt, sadness, anger, and feelings regarding what Lewis had done were blocked off as you sequestered yourself far away from them. You knew you couldn’t handle them now, there was no scenario you made it through this without sealing yourself off. There was a bigger problem. Aleeza.

“She knew my mother and had a rivalry with her. A rivalry she lost. She made a plan to ruin my life using you to do it, the only person who probably had to power to do it. She watched me crumble, laughed at me in the hospital, then tried to convince my father I was at fault the whole time it was her doing. She was behind the accident at the gala. She wanted to kill me so she could be the sole inheritor of daddy’s estate when he died. Now she wants to fuck Lewis as a married woman and she’s sure he’ll give in because he’d lose his career if he didn’t, making him have lost me and his career—everything.”

Wow, you thought to yourself. This truly was insane. She was insane. You turned to the four faces on the other side of the room but blocked Lewis out completely.

“She tried to kill me.”

“That’s fucked up,” Miles said standing again.

“She almost succeeded,” you muttered.

“Well, we all heard her. She won’t get away with it,” Daniel said.

“Damn right she won’t,” Andrew said holding up his phone.

He pressed a few buttons and then placed his phone on the table. After a few seconds, Aleeza’s voice came on. Your eyes widened.

“Andrew, you--.”

“Recorded everything from when Lewis said hide. It was weird she was here. Something felt off.”

He took his phone up and stopped the recording. “I can text it to you.”

A wicked plan unfurled in your head, a plan that she deserved. She thought your mother was her rival. Your mother had never mentioned her, never dwelled on her a day in her happy life with you and your father. She was a speck of nothing in our lives. If only you’d been such a speck for hers.

“She wanted to destroy me. This bitch is going to finally understand the definition of destroy,” you said.

“What’s the plan?”

You looked over Miles, Andrew, and Daniel. They looked ready and eager to be a part of this like they planned on being involved no matter what.

“Look, y’all don’t have to be part of this any longer,” you began.

“Fuck that,” Daniel said.

“She came after the fam, and she tried to kill you,” Miles declared.

“She’s the one at fault for all of this. The way she hurt you—you didn’t deserve that. We’re in,” Andrew finished.

You clenched your jaw trying to fight off the barrier that was trying to drop so you were overwhelmed with everything again. You couldn’t afford that right now. If it did you’d be crippled with the pain, you’d be down for the count and right now you had a bitch to pay back.

“Andrew text me and email me that recording.”

“Got it.”

“What do you need from us?”

“I need the footage from the gala and the accident, I need to get the plates and anything I can so I can trace it. I can’t use my family’s investigator because there’s a chance it could get back to her.”

“I’m on that,” Miles said. “I know a cop who knows a detective.”

“Thank you, Miles.”

He nodded and took a few steps away pulling out his phone.

“I can use my company to dig into her some more,” Daniel offered.

His tech, cyber security, protection, and information agency would be good to handle that.

“Thank you Daniel.”

He reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze. Again the barrier threatened to drop. You yanked your hand away and gave him a tight smile. Nodding, he quietly told you he understood. He stepped away and you watched as these three guys who didn’t owe you anything went above and beyond to help you. Three guys who owed all their loyalties to someone else were showing they were also loyal to you.

Emotion bubbled within you making you turn your back.

“Y/N,” Lewis began softly.

You froze, back tensing and heart pounding. You were not strong enough to do this right now. The only thing fueling you right now was the need for vengeance.

“What can I do? I want to—I need to help.”

You fought the sneer, but you couldn’t fight the words. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough? Just bask in the glory of my virginity.”

He sucked in a sharp breath and without needing to look at him you knew you wounded him. The part of you behind that barrier cared, the you with that switch flipped couldn’t. You stepped away and grabbed the bags you’d packed earlier then walked out the door without giving him a backward glance.

On the drive home, you took the long way passing it a few times driving clear to the countryside. Movement helped you think, movement helped you suppress the thing inside of you that was simmering. Every moment of inactivity made it reach a bubbling boil and you did not want to find out what would happen when it bubbled over. You knew yourself well enough that you knew it would be catastrophic.

So that was how you’d driven your tank empty three times and didn’t arrive back home until one in the morning. You couldn’t even stop to eat though you felt the hunger pains. Instead, you used the pains to fuel a workout. What was supposed to be maybe a thirty- or forty-minute run on the treadmill turned into a marathon sport event. Forty minutes at the punching bag, Thirty on the cycle machine, thirty on the rowing machine, twenty pumping weights, then an hour and a half on the treadmill.

By the time you made it to the shower, you were dead on your feet. Matter of fact so dead you dropped into your bed still wet and instantly fell asleep. The thing with the switch was, when you were awake it was easy to maintain, however, when asleep it was a bitch and a half. The nightmares were the worst because they never ended. They turned into terrors where you jumped up time after time after time only to realize that you’d done so in a dream and were still asleep and unable to actually wake yourself. Sleep paralysis. It was something you hadn’t experienced in years, and it was something you wouldn’t wish on anyone, except Aleeza.

So as you were paralyzed in this dream and unable to wake, you remained trapped in the nightmare of the day you’d walked in on Lewis. It played over and over and over. You would think the more times it played the more desensitized you were to it but no, it only intensified the pain you felt. No matter how you tried to run away from the scene or hide, it never worked. You were forced to live it again and again.

“Come out of it, angel eyes. Come on.”

You gasped loudly then sprang up panting for oxygen against the awful cotton mouth you were experiencing.

“It’s okay, I got you,” Lewis said.

You looked around the room, realizing you were awake. The sky was black, and the city lights twinkled around your condo.

“Y/N.”

You snapped your head to him, and everything flooded you again. Before you could stop yourself you wailed out as your body shook uncontrollably.

“I know you don’t want me to touch you, but I have to.”

Lewis wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly to his body. He’d seen you like this before. You’d gone through this after the accident and during those long weeks he didn’t let you out of his sight, you slept beside him, so he was near when you had an episode. He even got trained in how to take care of you during one.

The soothing circles he rubbed into your back barely registered, but the effect was nearly instantaneous. So very slowly the shaking lessened, and your breathing evened but the tears continued.

“Tighter,” you whimpered hating that you needed his help.

How twisted was it that the person you triggered this sleep paralysis was the person you needed to help soothe them? Lewis’ arms tightened around you feeling more like being Shibari bound than hugged.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you angel eyes.”

You wept louder though you were biting your tongue trying to hold it back.

“I’m sorry, I swear I am. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you in any way. It breaks me, straight kills me to know this is my fault.”

With every word, his hold on you remained tight. With every word, his warmth seeped into your pores and rushed off the cold chill that had taken over your body. Slowly your body relaxed, releasing you for the after-terror. Your body wanted to stay wrapped in his arms so badly. It wanted to forget everything that had transpired but your brain didn’t know how, your heart refused to.

“Get off of me,” you said on a shaky breath.

Lewis sighed before he complied. When he had you realized then you were naked. Snatching the comforter away, you wrapped yourself in it and dashed to the other side of your bedroom.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Daniel, Miles, and Andrew have tried to get in contact with you for almost two days, but you haven’t been answering.”

You spun around to face him. “Two days? I’ve been here for--.”

You turned back around and tried not to panic. You’d been in a sleep paralysis episode for nearly two days. Fuck you said to yourself.

“When did your sleep paralysis come back?”

“None of your business.”

“Y/N. Come on I just want to help. Please let me.”

Spinning around to glance at him you lashed out, “I don’t want your help Lewis! I can barely fucking look at you!”

To prove your point, you turned away from him again, your mouth turned up in disgust. A few tense moments passed in silence where you fought the dizziness overtaking you until you lost your balance and went tumbling to the floor. Before you hit the hard marble surface, Lewis’ arms cocooned you in safety lowering you gently to the floor.

Three of his heads danced around the air making it confusing for you to figure out which was the real him and which were the illusions. Lewis sighed then spoke again.

“You may not want it, but you need it. When was the last time you took your medication?”

You tried to figure that out for yourself but after several long seconds with no answer Lewis sighed again, this one disappointed. “How about eaten? When did you last eat?”

You knew this answer, “Two days ago.”

The three heads drifted into one and you saw the look of horror on Lewis’ face. “Please tell me you haven’t been in sleep paralysis for two days.”

You didn’t bother lying, you felt too weak.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

With that, Lewis hoisted you into his arms and stood bringing you back to your bed. He tucked a few pillows behind your head.

“I don’t need you Lewis. Just go.”

“I’m not leaving you like this. I’ll get your meds and make you some food then after you eat and take your meds only then will I leave.”

You kissed your teeth annoyed with this chivalrous show he was putting on. At this point, you didn’t know what was the real him and what was a fabricated illusion made up by you or forced onto you him. Without waiting for you to object, Lewis walked over to the mini fridge you kept in the bedroom and took out a bottle of water.

“Here, hydrate. Two days of no water, your body needs it.”

You glared at him but snatched the bottle from him and took a few gulps. He remained there clearly unsatisfied with the small gulps you’d taken. You took a few more and only stopped when you drank half the bottle.

“Wait here,” Lewis instructed before he walked out of your bedroom.

You were so annoyed right now it was crazy. He had no right to be here, no right to want to take care of you, no right to even try to pretend like nothing had happened and he hadn’t completely gutted you in two flawless moves. That barrier you’d forced up was slowly cracking and you were more than terrified of when it crumbled altogether. Taking some calming breaths, you tried to focus on what needed to be done and the fact that you needed to be in the right state of mind to pull it off.

Before you realized it, Lewis walked back into your bedroom with a trey. The scent of tomato soup filled the room and your stomach rumbled.

“Garlic and basil tomato soup with a grilled cheese, a cup of chamomile tea, a little cantaloupe, honeydew, and strawberry salad. I was going to add a salad but maybe keeping it lite is best.”

He placed the trey at the foot of the bed and then bent to grab the portable table you kept under your bed. After unfolding it he put it over your lap then the tray on the table. It boiled your blood knowing that he still knew where everything was and was moving around like he owned the place like he was still welcomed.

When he came back and put your medicine beside the bowl of tomato soup you snapped again.

“You can go now. Don’t you have a deadline looming in a matter of hours? You should go prepare for your pussy appointment.”

Lewis sucked in a sharp breath, but he didn’t move. “You really think I’d sleep with her? You really think that’s who I am?”

You snorted, “I don’t know who you are,” you spat.

“Bullshit. You know exactly who I am. You’ve seen who I am over the last 18 months. You know everything about me. You know you are the most important person to me next to my family. You know you mean everything to me.”

Lewis reached for your hand, but you yanked it back before he could touch you. A defeated look crossed his face and a small part of you felt guilty for it. A very small part, but no matter how small, that part was wreaking havoc and prompting the fall of your barrier at a breakneck speed.

He pulled over a chair and then sat. “What can I do? Tell me what I need to do to make this right.”

“Nothing. There is nothing you can do. I don’t know who you are. I don’t know if I can ever believe anything out of your mouth again. I don’t know if I can ever trust you or rely on you. I just--.”

Shaking your head you took a deep breath and began eating.

“Please, angel eyes.”

You sighed. closed your eyes and squeezed the spoon. “Please stop calling me that.”

“No. You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do? You think I don’t know that you’re trying to push me away and compartmentalize the shit out of this situation so you can numb yourself toward me? I’m not stupid, Y/N.”

“You should have told me!”

You loud shout went everywhere. Lewis didn’t speak for a while but when he did his voice was low.

“I see that now. I swear Y/N, I was trying to protect you. I was trying to--.”

“Do what you always do, try to control everything and handle it all by yourself.”

He sighed then dropped his head. “I’m sorry.”

“What does sorry do now? The damage is done. Like I have never allowed any man in and here I let you in and you shattered me, ruined me, broke me. You did to me what I didn’t think any man had to power to do because I never allowed it, but I see now though it’s too late. I’d given you something no one had ever gotten.”

He looked guilty now. “Your virginity. I didn’t know before; I didn’t know fully until you said the words. I suspected but—.”

“You took more than that Lewis. You took all of me—everything.”

“Please, Y/N, let’s start over, let’s try again.”

“I don’t have anything else to give.”

“Then let me do the giving. Let me give everything to you. Let me love you because I do. I love you.”

You stared at him with your head cocked to the side. They were words you wanted to hear a month or two ago. They were words you were so sure he wanted to say one of the last times you’d had sex. They were words you swore he’d said in so many different ways but now he was saying the actual words.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you more than anything, I love you so fucking much I can’t breathe, so much I can’t do anything without thinking of you, thinking of keeping you safe, happy, and carefree. I love you so much that I can’t do anything without you in my life. I love you. Y/N. I love you.”

He clasped your hand between his large ones, and you sat there searching his eyes. Could you believe these words? Were they also lies to get you to forgive him? Could this be real? Uncertainty swarmed within you making it impossible to decipher what was real or fake.

“I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake,” you whispered.

He held your hand tighter. “This is real, I’m real, how I feel about you is real. The last 18 months were real, the depth of how sorry I am is real. Me being willing to end my career for you is real. Loving you more than my love of the sport—that’s real. Believe me.”

You pulled your hands free from his then averted your eyes to the food before you. After you focused for a few moments you went back to eating as if he’d said nothing. Your mother taught you that love was an action, not a word, and if the action was authentic the words wouldn’t be needed and if the love was genuine then it would be forever something you could bet on without hesitation. You didn’t know if you could bet on his “love.”

After about thirty minutes, you’d finished most of the food and taken the medication. You then looked at Lewis ready to tell him to leave. He held his hand up.

“You don’t have to say it. I’ll go.”

He stood, dug in his pocket, and held out a zip drive. “Daniel and Miles came through. They said if you need anything else call them.”

You took the zip drive and nodded. “Thank you.”

He nodded then somberly walked to the door. You watched him move. Before, he always had a pep in his step no matter what he was going through, now he looked just as broken as you felt. Fighting the urge to feel sympathy for him, you closed your eyes.

“Angel eyes.”

Your belly quivered at the sound of his nickname for you. It always quivered no matter if you were alone or in the middle of a crowd. You heard the name and your body reacted. He knew it very well and it was knowledge he capitalized on. It was a nickname he refused to give up on. You met his eyes cautiously.

“I could never and would never sleep with anyone but you. No matter what, from this day on there will be no one else. Just you. Even if you decide that you want nothing else to do with me, I will love you from afar, but it will still forever and always till my last breath, just be you.”

That was a bold ass declaration you thought. It came with a shit ton of implications and a shit ton of silent promises. The look on his face said he knew each and every single one of those implications and promises. Your body began to shake all over again only this wasn’t the aftereffects of the paralysis. This was the weight of his words seeping into your very being and attacking the barrier. You opened your mouth to speak but in a matter of seconds he was gone, and you were left with too much to think about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@chaneajoyyy @caramara3 @valkryienymph @babyflowa07 @est1887 @halfrican-heat @mauvecherie-writes @nunya7394 @lovebittenbyevans @gardenwonders2 @sweetlikecoffy @dillie60 @ olabelle757 @ophiaedits @kenequa @triton08 @skyesthebomb @shipatheart @keytodespair @xsweetdellzx @labella420 @coldmuffinbanditshoe @ak329 @shar74nett @youremysuperstar @whore-like-behaviour

@alookintohersoul @asiaaisa77 @jd-now-jq @naturalthrone22 @mrsbarnes-rogers @beyourownkindofbeautiful @beccacupcakesxo @toni9 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @partypoison00 @queenoftheworldisdead @doublesidedscoobysnacks @sophiealiice @richonne4life @coffeebooksandfandom @siempremamita @raveviolet @dumbchick @amennariee @briellableu @leebabe444 @31miw-inkpsycho

@rororo06 @disaster-rose @bugngiz @yourwonderbelle @queenbetter @melaninhawtie @bekindbecoolbeyou @heartfullofgolden @idkiwantchocolatee @missuniee @avngrsfangirl @a-highly-opinionated-mess @19jammmy @nunya7394 @eltima02 @motheroffae @luckydiorxoxo

@majx00 @bbhyuneee @queenanababy @ravenqueen27 @multi-fandom5 @xsweetdellzx @bqueensweet @misswolff @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @blveeeeeee @majx00 @rowansshit @tian-monique

#lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfic #if this is love you need to mean it 3

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thewolvesof1998 · 7 months

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get to know your fic writer + WIP Snippet

Tagged by @jesuisici33 @hippolotamus @your-catfish-friend

When did you post your first ever fanfic?

God, I definitely posted 1D fics on Wattpad back in the day, probably in 2013 but I started posting again only in June of this year.

First character(s) you wrote for:

It was probably something 1D related either Larry or an OC/Harry Styles

Main character(s) you’re currently writing for:

Buck and Eddie of course.

Character(s) you haven’t written about before but plan on writing about soon:

Hmmm I don’t have anything planned, I’m just following the hyperfixation but probably someone from the 911 world, maybe Ravi or May?

Fandom(s) you’re currently writing for:

9-1-1

Platonic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Buck and Chris- you can't really avoid Buck as Chris's other parent when writing Buddie. Bobby and Buck- another father-and-son relationship. Eddie and Sophia- the Diaz siblings. The entire firefam I suppose.

Romantic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Buck/Eddie

Your top 3 tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3):

Not Beta Read, One Shot and Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Your current platform where you post your works:

AO3

Snippet of the wip you’re currently working on:

I haven't written in weeks but the inspiration hit tonight so here a bit from a new wip- something for Halloween:

Eddie could hear the creak of the tree outside as the wind tumbled through its branches, someone calling for their dog a few doors down and a motorcycle roaring down the street adjacent to his. He could also hear Buck’s heartbeat, its usual slow and steady thump, thump, thump. Normally he would hear Christopher's soft breaths and fluttering heartbeat from the room down the hall but the house is empty tonight. He can still taste the tequila from the shots they’d decided were a good idea after finishing their usual six pack. The alcohol warming his stomach, making his limbs feel like they belonged to someone else. Without thinking about it, they place themselves on Buck’s broad chest, his skin a contrast to the dark blue button-up Buck decided to wear tonight. Eddie can feel the sharp intake of breath beneath them and his eyes drag themselves up to Buck’s face. His usually pale skin is flushed ever so slightly, confusion dragging his eyebrows together in a look that would be comical if Eddie wasn’t so damn in love with him. “Eds?” Buck whispers, so quiet that if it weren’t for his enhanced hearing he wouldn’t have heard it. Eddie doesn’t respond, not verbally at least, he just steps in closer, placing his forehead on Buck’s shoulder, face tucked into his neck. Buck’s hands automatically come up to rest on his arms and Eddie thinks just for a moment that he’s going to push him away but instead, Buck’s fingers curl around his biceps, holding him tightly. Eddie breathes in, taking in Buck’s scent, citrus, honeycomb and sunshine on snow, it’s just as intoxicating as the alcohol. He’s nuzzling into Buck’s neck chasing that scent before he can stop himself. Buck shudders but doesn’t pull away instead, he bares his neck and tries to relax despite the vulnerable position. Buck has to know he’s not going to hurt him, Eddie could never hurt him. He opens his mouth and sucks in a breath, “Buck…” his name is as sweet as the taste of him on Eddie’s tongue. It so distracting that he forgets what he is going to say and instead, his hands slide up and one around Buck’s neck and into his hair, using the grip to tilt his head so Eddie has better access. Buck gasps, his fingers digging in painfully before relaxing again but Eddie barely registers it, drowning in Buck’s scent until it was just Buck and only him. Eddie’s teeth and claws lengthen as the primal need takes control, he manages to loosen his grip enough to avoid piercing Buck, the need to protect is just as strong as the need to mark and claim.

Tagging:

@wikiangela @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @spotsandsocks @try-set-me-on-fire @bekkachaos @buddierights @forthewolves @911-on-abc @shitouttabuck @911onabc @exhuastedpigeon @eddiediaztho @loserdiaz @ladydorian05 @watchyourbuck @king-buckley @chaoticgremlinwholikescheese @fortheloveofbuddie @sammy-souffle @steadfastsaturnsrings @mangacat201 @theotherbuckley @hoodie-buck @eowon @rainbow-nerdss @nmcggg @pirrusstuff

#tag games #fanfic writers #ao3 #thewolvesof1998 writes #buddie

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burninglights · 8 months

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seeing some of you getting snotty about people not having first aid kits & first aid training without advising people on what they should have/what they should know is doing my nut in. without further ado:

First Aid Kits (what should be in yours)

If you’re going to uni/moving out of home, you really ought to have a first aid kit. Small first aid kits are fairly inexpensive and come with basic first aid supplies.

Included in my first aid kit is:

1 card of paracetamol tablets

1 card of ibuprofen tablets

A length of gauze bandage

1 tube of topical antiseptic (I use Savlon or Germolene)

1 tube arnica/bruise cream

30x plasters, assorted sizes

5x long strip plasters

10x antiseptic wipes

3x individually sealed small sterile gauze pads (7cm x 7.5cm)

4 sterile small adhesive dressings (7cm x 5.3cm)

it’s a good idea to also have an emergency card in your first aid kit, with the contact details for your next of kin and any health conditions written on it. They usually come as part of first aid kits anyway, and have a little clear plastic pocket to keep them in.

Also, remember to replenish whatever you use from your kit, and to keep an eye on expiration dates of medications/ointments.

Medication management

If you’re on medication long term (antipsychotics, antidepressants, statins, anticonvulsants, immunosuppressants, insulin etc.) you should have a two week overlap period; where possible, you should order a refill of your medication two weeks before your current supply runs out, so that if there are supply issues, you’re not going to be left hanging.

I’m aware this might not be possible for Americans owing to insurance and reassessment (I’m UK based, and just have to refill by filling out a form available in my GP’s office) and for those on controlled medications (opiates, methadone treatment for addiction, ADHD meds etc).

If you have medication that only requires use in emergent circumstances (ie. an EpiPen or an asthma inhaler), keep track of the expiration dates, and order a refill of your medication ahead of time. Better to have an extra inhaler knocking about for a couple of weeks than to really need one and not have it.

First Aid for Dummies & How to Get First Aid Training

Aif you’re ‘fresh out the womb’ new to first aid, or live somewhere where medical care is inaccessible, I highly recommend Where There Is No Doctor by David Werner and Carol Thuman, which gives step by step guides from scratches, scrapes and rashes up to emergent wound care. It’s not an exaggeration to say that that book kept me and my siblings alive for the first few years of our existencewhen we lived on the edge of the Kalahari 120 miles from the nearest hospital.

few bits and pieces of first aid I’ve picked up, both from training and being the world’s clumsiest son of a bitch:

Z-wrapping for wrists and ankles, especially if you’re prone to sprains. I don’t know how to explain this in a coherent way, so I’ve linked a video of how to do it.

For deep cuts or wounds that bleed a lot, you need to apply pressure and elevate the injury above the heart. It takes a nearly comically small amount of blood loss to become life threatening (blood loss equivalent to half a coke can is considered life threatening in adults) - if the blood is bright red, spurting/gushing, and the blood loss is uncontrolled, or if you have a clotting condition like haemophilia, you need to get to an urgent care centre yesterday. Call 999/911, maintain hard pressure over the wound, and keep the person calm and talking.

If someone has been stabbed an the knife is still in situ, for the love of God do not pull out the knife, or let them pull out the knife. It’s impossible to know what’s been hit without imaging, the knife acts as a seal in the wound; haemorrhage or massive internal injury are not situations you want to be dealing with outside of an acute trauma care setting. Call 999/911 immediately, and keep the injured person calm.

Learn how to recognise the signs of overdose. I went to a Midlands uni that had a reputation as a party uni, and hearing through the grapevine about ODs on nights out wasn’t uncommon. Narcan/Naloxone is a controlled substance in the UK so can’t be bought OTC, but I know it’s available to buy OTC in some parts of America and Canada. If you can, please consider carrying naloxone. If you witness an OD, call 999/911 immediately, and try to keep the person alert. If you have it, administer Narcan.

Don’t fuck with sepsis or meningitis. These diseases move fast, and can turn you into a past participle in as little as 12 hours. Get your MenACWY vaccine, know the symptoms, and call 999/911 immediately if you have the symptoms, especially if there’s been an outbreak in your area or you’ve had close contact with someone who is infected.

If you get bitten by a wild animal, (fox, bat, dog, raccoon…whatever) flushing the wound with water and then getting to A&E needs to become your number one priority. Tetanus, rabies and capnocytophaga infection are no joke: you need boosters/antibodies and antibiotics as a matter of urgency.

Finally, don’t be a hero. You are not John Wick. If someone is injured in an actively dangerous location or situation, the only thing you ought to do is call 999.

You really and truly don’t need to be able to pull a Hawkeye Pierce; the whole point of first aid is that it’s the first line of aid, and gets you to A&E or Minor Injuries so that you can receive professional medical attention.

That said, having a first aid training is incredibly valuable, both because you never know when some fuck shit is about to happen, and because by law most workplaces are supposed to have at least one first aider on staff, so it gives your CV an edge.

In the UK, the St. John Ambulance Trust offers workplace first aid certification, annual refreshers, sports first aid training, AED use & CPR certification and mental health first aid training.

You can also get personal first aid training for adults, children and babies with the British Red Cross for the cost of £37.50, as well as certified workplace first aid certification from £165.

The British Heart Foundation offer CPR training for free via their RevivR program; it takes 15 minutes, and can be used for workplace certification.

#em.txt #first aid #life skills #the fact some of you man were shouting at people for not having *tournequets* at home is a madness.#I’m begging you to pattern up and teach people the basics before you get on ur high horse and bust out the fucking Whiskey #68Whiskey ‘first aid in a war zone’ shit #remember most people don’t get taught this in schools. have some compassion abeg.#usual disclaimer of ‘lab based medicine training; not squishy actively bleeding people medical training’ applies #adventures in biomed #em’s unfortunate childhood comes in clutch yet again lmfao #medicine #street medicine #survival #resources

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chicgeekgirl89 · 10 months

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Day Zero

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: T.K. Strand, Carlos Reyes, Gabriel Reyes, Owen Strand

Rating: T

CW: Non-consensual drug use, mentions of addiction

Summary: After a lifetime of struggle, T.K. is finally clean. He's living with the love of his life, has found a family at the 126, and is creating a future he never thought he could have. Having his sobriety stolen away again wasn't part of the plan. A follow up to the events of 3x12 “Negative Space.”

A/N: I wrote this directly after 3x12 aired and then never posted it because it's such a sensitive topic. I'm hopeful I've done T.K.'s addiction and sobriety and the struggle he might have after the events of the episode justice.

Read on AO3

T.K. is high. He’s floating, drifting, his mind blissfully unaware of anything resembling reality. He knows he’s high, he’s been high so many times that the feeling of it is as familiar to him as breathing.

It should feel good. This is something he craves, not as constantly as he once did, but it’s always there, a sleeping beast, dormant inside him. Waiting. Always waiting. And now he’s finally gotten it again.

But something eats around the edges of the haze, something sharp, fearful. This is wrong. He doesn’t want to be high. He doesn’t want…how did he…what’s…?

He forces his eyes open, the room around him a swirl of confusing colors. He can hear someone yelling, something heavy falling nearby. It takes him far too long to realize he’s on the floor in his bedroom, the carpet under his cheek familiar. Carlos had been eyeing it at Pottery Barn for months even before he bought the loft.

Carlos.

Something warm is pressed up against T.K.’s leg and he slowly turns his head to find his boyfriend’s body splayed out on the floor next to him, eyes closed, form horribly still.

“Carlos,” T.K. croaks, fear and panic combating the effects of the drugs that are swirling through his system.

There’s more yelling close by but T.K. can’t make out what’s being said. His mind is only capable of one thing at a time right now and even focusing on that is difficult. He tries to sit up, but his muscles feel like jello, so he drags himself across the floor, trying to get close enough to check on his boyfriend, fingers reaching out, still too far to do any good.

“Carlos!”

A familiar voice calls his name this time, and seconds later Gabriel Reyes appears, dropping to his knees, his hands going to Carlos’ face. For one horrible, terrible, god awful, heart stopping moment, Carlos doesn’t move and T.K. thinks he’s dead. Really and truly dead and gone.

But then he lets out a moan and sucks in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling and T.K. feels such crashing relief surge through him that he nearly passes out again.

Gabriel turns and puts a hand on his shoulder. “T.K., are you with me?”

T.K. tries to make his mouth cooperate but his tongue too large, and the words in his mind feel like they’re slipping in and out of focus. Gabriel pulls him up into a sitting position, leaning him against the foot of the bed. “Strand! I could use some help in here!” he calls.

“Hang on!” T.K. hears his dad’s voice respond from the other room. “Marjan’s bleeding pretty bad, looks like she’s been stabbed.”

Marjan is here? T.K. is so confused, desperately trying to stay focused, to not let the darkness drag him under again. And if Marjan is bleeding he should help.

“Whoa, whoa, you stay right here.” Gabriel puts a hand against his chest and T.K. realizes that he tried to get up, although he didn’t make it very far since none of his extremities seem to be working well right now.

Gabriel has gotten Carlos sitting up and is propping him next to T.K., his eyes glassy and vacant, but open, awake, alive. Gabriel holds him up with one hand while he holds his cellphone with the other, talking rapidly to someone about multiple ambulances and backup.

T.K. can hear Marjan now, she sounds furious, and he can see Sadie, sprawled on the floor like the rest of them, but his brain still can’t piece together what’s happened, how they’ve all ended up like this. Things are fuzzy, muddled, like he should be able to understand what’s going on, but he can’t quite…

“What happened?” He finally manages to get the question past his lips, eyes sluggishly searching Gabriel’s for some kind of answer.

Gabriel is still focused on Carlos who is having a difficult time keeping his eyes open. “It was Sadie,” Gabriel says, his voice tight. “She burned down the gallery, blew up Gordon’s car, she did all of it.”

Sadie. Sadie did this? Sadie who’s been in their home for the last three hours? Sadie has been the one causing trouble. Sadie…

His dad crouches in front of him, concern all over his face. “Hey buddy, how you doing?”

“Dad,” T.K. looks at him, dread starting at the base of his spine and creeping rapidly up to his neck. “Did Sadie…did she…?”

“She drugged you. Both of you. It was in the soup. T.K. I’m so sorry,” his dad says, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“The drugs, was it—?“

“Oxy,” Owen tells him gently.

Oh. Yeah. That makes sense.

There’s a yell, Sadie’s voice and then Marjan lets out a few choice expletives. “I’ll be right back,” Owen promises and T.K. nods. There’s nothing he can do anyway. There’s nothing anyone can do. They just have to wait until the high wears off.

“Carlos do not go to sleep,” Gabriel says sharply and T.K. looks over to see his boyfriend’s head lolling to the side, eyes drooping as Gabriel forces him to stay upright.

“Sorry,” Carlos mumbles, eyelids fluttering. “Tired.”

“I know, but you have to stay awake, all right?” Gabriel looks up at someone else. “Can you get them some water?”

T.K.’s eyes follow Gabriel’s and he finds Catherine stepping out of the room to do as the major has asked. T.K. has no idea when she got here. He has no idea about a lot of things right now.

He’s not interested in the water she hands him, but Gabriel urges both of them to drink. T.K. manages one sip and then just holds it in his hands, feeling the coolness of it through the glass. Carlos does a little better, getting down a third of the glass under his father’s watchful gaze. He’s sitting up under his own power now, but he’s still listless and looks like he could topple over at any second. T.K. hates it.

He wishes he could do something, wishes he could reach out and hold Carlos’ hand or rub his back or kiss his temple, anything to bring him comfort, but he can feel himself slowly sobering up and with every passing second reality sits heavier and heavier on his shoulders.

Everything he’s worked for. Every meeting, every chip, every night he’s chosen to go home instead of going out to score…it’s all gone. Erased. Like it never even happened. He’s back to square one. Zero days of sobriety.

This is a part of him he has never wanted Carlos to see. Carlos who always believes the best of him, Carlos who has no idea how truly deep and dark T.K.’s past is. Carlos who has only ever been T.K.’s fresh start, who is now dragged down into the muck and mire right along with him.

“I think…I think I’m going to be sick.”

He looks up to find Carlos a shade paler than he already was, eyes glassy, a greenish tinge to his skin.

Someone runs to the kitchen and returns with a large bowl they usually use for salads and popcorn, but will probably never use again, the memories of tonight now marking its surface in place of the geometric pattern on its sides.

Carlos retches, his stomach emptying, and T.K. sits frozen, letting everyone else help. He should be the one rubbing Carlos’ back, he should be the one telling him it will be okay. But he can’t. He can’t do anything other than sit in a growing sense of shame and guilt.

Paramedics arrive, thankfully no one T.K. is familiar with. They ask questions and T.K. and Carlos answer in monotone. Naloxone isn’t necessary since they’re both awake and alert, and when saline is offered T.K. refuses, he doesn’t want anything else being put in his body tonight. He does manage to come out of his miserable haze long enough to insist Carlos accepts. If nothing else at least Carlos will be hydrated as he comes down; hopefully it will help to lessen the inevitable headache and malaise he’s going to feel.

They’re transported to the hospital, doctors prodding and poking, asking questions, a familiar rhythm that makes T.K. sick to his stomach. The doctors and nurses know what happened, they're being sympathetic, but it’s too much. The dance is too familiar and it makes him want to crawl out of his own skin.

He lies on a gurney, staring at the hospital ceiling as his emotions war inside of him. He wants the high to wear off, he wants it gone now. But there’s a part of him that is desperately holding onto it, that wants the numbness and the disassociation, and the bliss of being free from the nightmare he’s living. This part of him, the starving beast that he’s beaten back into submission again and again, rears it’s ugly head and screams that it’s not worth it. That he’s not worth it. That he did everything right, got himself clean and it still doesn’t matter, because here he is again, right back where he started.

He’s an addict.

No matter how much work he does, it’s all he’ll ever be.

In the midst of being treated some detectives arrive to talk to them, their dads, Marjan. His own version of the story is short. Sadie was there when he got back from getting groceries. He felt hot, kind of off, and the next thing he knew he was staring at Carlos on the floor. No one asks him why he, an addict, didn’t recognize what he was feeling. But they should. They should tell him he’s an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. That if he’d realized what was going on, both of them might have been spared at least some part of this nightmare.

Carlos’ version of the story is far more painful. “I saw her on the footage,” he says, his words still slow and labored, as if he’s having trouble getting them out, but he pushes on determinedly. “We talked, I asked her why she did it, and she said it was for Owen. Then I realized T.K. had been gone for too long. But when I got up,” he swallows hard, “I couldn’t keep my balance. I saw T.K. on the floor…”

Carlos turns and looks at him with tears in his eyes. “I should have realized. I should have known it was her. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” T.K. says. The words don’t sound soothing, even though he means them to be. He simply can’t muster up the energy to be Carlos’ emotional support right now. Yet another thing to feel guilty about.

They get home around three o’clock in the morning and collapse into bed. Carlos falls asleep with his head pillowed on T.K.’s chest, one of T.K.’s arms wrapped around him, a sign of how vulnerable he feels since usually T.K. is the one curled up into Carlos.

T.K. doesn’t sleep. He lies there wallowing, his mind turning over and over, fighting with the rage and grief and failure that threaten to eat him alive and take his relationship along with it.

Carlos shudders and T.K. rubs his arm until he settles. He’s struggling. Maybe not as much as T.K., but he was still assaulted against his will in their home for the second time in less than a year. T.K. knows he feels violated and guilty, even if the guilt is unfounded. The only person who should feel any guilt is Sadie. And maybe his father for dragging death onto their doorstep yet again.

T.K. watches the clock tick past four, past five. When it says six am he slips from Carlos’ hold and takes the longest, hottest shower of his life before wandering into the kitchen and brewing some extra strength coffee.

He doesn’t feel great, but it’s nothing he hasn’t felt before. The mild nausea, the pounding headache, the heaviness in his limbs, it’s all to be expected. So are the guilt and shame and perseverating thoughts whirling through his mind. The beast inside him is awake, hungering for another taste, even though he’s barely come down off the last one. But he’s used to that too. He’s telling it to shut up and it’s working for now.

If only he could be sure it will last this time.

“T.K.?”

The groggy, pained call moves him toward the bedroom. “I’m here,” he says as he walks quickly through the doorway so Carlos can see him. His boyfriend has been through enough, he doesn’t need to wake up panicking that T.K. has disappeared on a bender. “How are you feeling?”

“My head is pounding,” Carlos winces and squints against the light coming through the curtains as he pushes himself slowly into a seated position. “How are you?”

“I’m okay,” T.K. says. “Do you want some coffee? Or I can make tea?”

“You don’t need to take care of me,” Carlos tells him.

“I don’t mind,” T.K. says. It gives him something to do, something to focus on for a moment. “Tea?”

Carlos nods an affirmative and T.K. puts it together in short order along with some toast, and some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet.

“Thanks,” Carlos says as T.K. sets it all on the nightstand.

“You’re welcome.”

T.K. moves to the wardrobe and pulls out his uniform. “What are you doing?” Carlos asks.

T.K. hangs it on the wardrobe’s doorknob and moves to the dresser for clean underwear and socks. “Going to work.”

“You’re not staying home? I figured, after last night…”

T.K. takes a breath, tries not to let all the feelings battling inside him rear up and burst out of his mouth. Carlos doesn’t deserve that. “I need to go to work today,” is all he can say.

“Okay.”

The word sounds confused, maybe a little hurt. And it hurts T.K. to know he’s the cause of any of Carlos’ pain right now. But he has to go to work. If he stays here…if he stays here he’s going to fall apart.

He pastes on what he hopes is a passably pleasant look. “I’ll be home by five. And I’ll keep my phone on if you need me.”

“T.K., maybe we should—“

“I can’t, Carlos.” The words are razor sharp and he feels brittle as he says them. “I…we’ll talk. We will. Later. I promise.”

He grabs his work bag and pauses long enough to press a kiss to Carlos’ forehead. “Rest today. I’ll be home in a few hours. I promise.” He looks into Carlos’ eyes, reminding himself that he’s no good to Carlos if he doesn’t take care of himself first, even if it hurts to do it. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The moment he steps out the door he can feel his mind starting to clear. He’s going to have to deal with all of this eventually. But right now, there’s work to be done.

#Tarlos #911 Lone Star #911lsfic #Tarlos Fic #T.K. Strand #Carlos Reyes #3x12 Negative Space Coda #T.K. Strand Whump #Carlos Reyes Whump

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starrysamu · 2 years

Text

you’re just around the corner when you hear the crash. you pause for a second, and when you don’t hear any grunts or screams or wails or crying, you decide to continue strolling at your leisurely pace.

it’s when you finally stand in front of the shop and peer your head in that you decide you should be the one screaming and wailing and crying and … perhaps, even grunting.

“where’s your shirt?” you choke out. your saliva is thick and your knees are ready to give out on you any second now.

“oh hey,” osamu says gruffly, shaking his hair out.

he looks at you. you’ve forgotten how to breathe.

oh god, oh god, someone please call 911. please, someone, anyone, call a goddamn ambulance.

you tilt your head.

actually, should you pass out so he can give you CPR right at this instant?

you’re all about being resourceful, after all. you gotta make do with what you got, right?

“glad you could finally make it,” he continues, heaving a sigh and setting his hands at his hips. he takes a good look at the floor before looking back at you expectantly.

you don’t dare meet his eyes. the corner of the ceiling looks rather interesting, doesn’t it?

you wait for him to say something else, but you’re left writhing uncomfortably in the silence.

(would he love you if you were a worm? because you sort of feel like an upright worm).

“where’s your shirt, osamu?”

“it’s like a million degrees outside and i just finished paneling the counter, no thanks to you.”

“listen,” you rush out, “i didn’t decide to renovate the restaurant in the middle of summer and i set like five million alarms and none of them rang or something and anyways it’s not like you called to wake me up or anything - ”

you sneak a glance. it’s enough to blast you off of this universe. it might even be enough to send you into the next universe. would osamu be there too? would you get to live through this moment again?

maybe you should just be thankful instead - but by gods, you are not strong enough for this. you’re just not cut out for this work. your eyes trail to the ceiling again in a silent prayer.

he rolls his lips between his teeth in amusement.

“don’t you have any decency?” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest. he steps towards you and your body reacts instantly, the oxygen getting trapped in your trachea.

he takes another step forwards and you slap your hands over your eyes. “my virgin eyes!”

“are you slut shaming me?”

this is too difficult. this is so hard. you can’t live like this.

“i’m too weak,” you whisper dramatically. “god, i’m not your strongest soldier.”

“would you have preferred god to send someone else?”

you peek through your fingers to find him finally less than a foot away.

“osamu,” you say breathlessly. you can’t handle anymore. you hold one hand out in front of you, the other clutching your stomach dramatically, “i’m about to faint. don’t step any closer.”

he flicks your forehead. “you’re insufferable.”

you peer at him through your eyelashes, flashing him a million-dollar grin. “you love me.”

“i would love you even more if you help me finish painting the walls.”

#so i couldn't really decide if they were dating or not. so that's up to yall not my business anymore #anyways this is just me warming up ... i hope #osamu #haikyuu #osamu x reader #osamu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu drabble #osamu drabble #osamu fluff

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icetobes · 23 days

Text

911 through a s7 e4

i was very not prepared for this

- SHE GLUED HERSELF 😭😭

- not maddie sending the 118 she’s so funny

- chim ?! oh maddie sent him to get the details for her hmm love it

- the girls flirting with eddie and buck lmao

- “sorry ladies taken and the moment, but he’s not” EDDIE YOU MENACE

- eddies fave after “i don’t date people i meet on calls” IM CRYING LMAO

- chims double take at joey 😭

- what is happening 😭

- chin running off to facetime maddie LMAO

- maddie and josh are my icons i LOVE them

- “come visit me in prison” “do i have to” “i would not”

- BUCK AND TOMMMYYY its that scene….

- “saving someone’s life and then dating them never turns out the way to expect it to” yeah buck knows allllll about that

- not the rain check being going out with eddie

- ew the straight high five

- EVAN ????? don’t call him evan that’s only for eddie and maddie and pre 118 flashbacks

- he’s so awkward i canttttt

- JEALOUSLY JEALOUSYY

- not the heli to vegas 😭

- harry’s baccckk 😭🫶🏻 he surprised athena awwww

- is bobby suspicious ??? what was that look

- ooo restaurant rescue

- RAVVIIIII HES BACCKCKK MY BOY

- “who’s tommy” LMAOOO

- oh that shot is them looking in the sink

- THEIR LOOKS “i guess somebody’s going into the sewer” 🧍🧍 “im going into the sewer” HELLLPP

- bucks jealousssss who would’ve thought

- “i think its great, you can’t have enough friends”

- “when you meet someone you just click” but they didn’t when they first met because buck was being jealous then too oh my god he’s gonna take it to heart isn’t he holy shit

- “i do i really do” you’ve liked him from day ONE

- his face he is so realising he likes him ??? like he has to be ???

- “when do you think you’ll see him again” like he’s dating tommy ??

- KARAOKE TRIVIA THING omg

- WATCH CHRISTOPHER OH

- not him ranting to maddie i cannot

- buck being more jealous because chris likes tommy too …

- “in a very short time” you also did that

- eddie ASKED YOU and you said no so he asked tommy and now you’re jealous… buck come on 😭

- “is it circled with a heart around it” MADDIE MY QUEEN BUDDIE SHIPPER FROM THE BEGINNING

- THE POLICE ARE LOOKING FOR HARRY ?? oh ???

- the mess- i cannot

- THE WATER HELLP ICON

- “you’re also my mom” oh- ouch

- i’m guessing eddies on the phone to tommy

- and buck… is ?? making noises to get his attention ?? to watch him workout ?? sir… what are you doing

- THE LOOK HE IS FULLY TRYING TO GET HIS ATTENTION LMAO

- THE BALL LMAO not the ball

- “uh huh” HE IGNORED HIM

- HES SAD

- chim to the rescue 🫶🏻

- oh here we go basket ball time…

- I DONT LIKE STRAIGHT EDDIE PUT HIM AWAY THE CHEST BUMP 😭😭😭😭

- also “my boy” ?!

- howie and evan 😭 stop

- BASKETBALL BEARD chim my love, i love you

- THE SPINNNN

- eddie is taunting himmm

- is buck even trying

- the high-fives right in front of him

- OH THE PUSH

- YOU BUCKED THAT UP stop the poor man just wants eddie

- harry :(((

- athena my beloved :(( she’s so aaaaa

- “i haven’t talked to him” 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍

- the scene the scene the scene

- PISSED SEEING HIM AND TOMMY BE GOOD FRIENDS BUCK YOU ARE ON THE FLOOR FOR THIS MAN GET UPPP

- “get his attention” im 😭😭

- “i know how you feel” let this go where i want it to go

- it didn’t but whatever

- “im not a 14 year old girl” tell that to your googly eyes for eddie huh if you could you’d have posters of him around your room girlie

- stop acting like one REAL AND TRUE

- “and i really great mom” ILL CRY 🫶🏻😭

- TOMMY AT BUCK DOOR

- can we talk…

- “i’ve been causing bad blood” no bucks just jealous because he’s in love and doesn’t know it yet

- “no bad blood just bad behaviour” LMAO

- “that kid cannot shut up about you” and buck twirls his hair like he’s not in eddies will he’s so happy about it lmao

- “it wasn’t about you” “that’s usually my problem” he’s so me help

- i can get pretty jealous WE KNOW OMG

- tommy jealous of the 118 :(((

- fake mouth static 😭

- why do they look like they’re gonna kiss

- i wanted to get to know you im-

- the homoerotic vibes of this scene i cannot

- trying to get YOIR ATTENTION WHAT IS HAPPENING

- yeah i guess so ?? WHAT IS HAPPEING

- OH THEY DID KISS

- OH GUCKING THEYDKWOZBSSK

- HOLY SHIT

- IM WINNING

- IM SHAKING

- “like that” IT WORKSS ?? fuck

- “so that was okay” im melting

- that was better that fake mouth static

- 8 saturday date 🫶🏻

- for gods sake please call eddie YES REAL

anyway i’m so happy that buck is having his (to quote heartstopper) full on gay crisis, finally the man’s getting a man !!

#911 #evan buck buckely #buck 911 #buck and tommy #holy shit #i’m freaking out #this is wow #eddie diaz 911 #i cannot think #i can’t tag

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thelibrarylesstrektraveled · 1 year

Text

To The Victor Chapter Three - Can't Be Claimed

Summary: Although Omegas had won the legal battle for equal rights, society was slow to catch up. Thought to be the weakest of the genders, they struggled to find opportunities that Alphas and Betas took for granted. Known as the Guillotine, Emmaline Beaumont was woman with a secret. Head of her family’s company; she was smart, shrewd, and tough as nails. At sixteen she presented as Omega and she’s hidden it ever since. Suppressants and hormone reassignment therapy allowed her to live her life as the Alpha her family needed her to be. The perfect solution, so long as she never allowed herself to be claimed. As the President of Winchester Inc. Dean’s professional life was golden. As an unmated Alpha nearing forty, he was restless. Charming and devastatingly handsome, Dean was rarely without female company, but he wanted more. He wanted what his parents had. Someone made especially for him. His match, his true mate. Finding her on a trip to New York had been an unexpected dream come true, but no one ever said the road to love was easy.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!OFC, Dean x OFC, Dean Winchester x OFC

Characters: Dean Winchester, OFC, Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore, John Winchester, Jody Mills

Warnings: ABO dynamics, Heat/Rut cycles, Smut (Unprotected sex, knotting, oral sex, claiming bites), hurt/comfort, sickfic, hospitals and medical talk, fluff and angst, age difference (Dean is 39, OFC is 27), True mates, self hate (OFC struggles with gender)

Chapter Three: Can't Be Claimed

Word Count: 3348

Masterlist

To The Victor Masterlist

The twenty minutes it took for help to arrive were nothing short of agony for Dean. He kept Emma cradled close. Whispering sweet words of encouragement in her ear, telling her to hold on, that help was on the way. She never responded, but he had to believe that she could hear him or at least knew he was there. That he wasn’t leaving her. That he was going to take care of her.

God, she’s so cold!

Dean tugged the blankets closer around the two of them and rubbed her arms roughly, desperate to infuse every ounce of his own heat to her chilled flesh. Give her his strength. Surround her with his scent. In his mind, he kept going over the conversation with Emma’s sister.

Emma can’t be claimed. Family doctor treating her since childhood.

Just what the hell did that mean? If it hadn’t been for the insistent tone in Jess’ voice, Dean would have called 911 instead. As it was, he was doubting his decision.

He pressed a kiss to Emma’s temple, “Keep fighting sweetheart, I’m right here.”

The door to the suite opened without so much as a knock of warning and a short, slight man entered. He wore a slim black suit and tie with a matching fedora pulled down over dark hair. His unsmiling face was sharply featured with beady eyes and a crooked, hawk-like nose. Everything about him was severe and unpleasant. The expression he wore was a mix of displeasure and annoyance. Going by the classic leather satchel in his hand, this man must be the family doctor.

Dean shifted Emma’s unconscious body off his chest and stood, “You the doctor?”

The man removed his hat and placed it on the table along with his bag, “I am Doctor Lancaster, and you are the Alpha who caused all the trouble.” He never spared Dean a glance as he rifled through his bag. His tone suggested an absolute disgust with the situation.

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. He didn’t appreciate being judged by a gargoyle in cheap mortician’s suit. Especially not when his mate’s life was hanging by a thread. “Yup, that’s me. So, are you able to help her?”

Lancaster moved over his patient with efficiency. After he took a few vitals, he drew out a vial and syringe from his bag of tricks. “I believe so, it was a good thing you called when you did. Another hour and she’d be dead.” He swiped an alcohol swab over the crook of Emma’s elbow and administered a hefty dose of the drug.

“What are you giving her?”

“Botox.”

The Alpha didn’t appreciate the sarcasm. He let out a low, menacing growl and clenched his jaw so that the muscle there twitched.

The doctor was equally unimpressed with the show of aggression. “It’s a combination of adrenaline, beta blockers and hormone booster.”

Dean frowned as he realized the implication, “She was on suppressants?”

“Ah! An Alpha with a brain! Nice to know at least one of you rutting beasts can think with something other than your nether regions.” Lancaster checked Emma’s pulse one last time. With a satisfied nod, he shut his bag and stood.

“Your Omega is going to be fine. Her temperature is already rising, and her heat cycle will now continue as normal.” The doctor gave Dean an appraising once over. “Judging by your own state, I’d say you are already aware of that.”

Dean was loathed to admit this quack was right about anything. The cavalier way he was treating a medical emergency should have him barred from practicing medicine anywhere in the civilized world. The fact that the emergency was his mate, made Dean want to rip the man’s throat out on principle alone. Yet, the little troll had done something right, because he could now pick up Emma’s scent. It was intoxicating, and stronger than it had ever been. Apple orchards and magnolia blossoms, it made his mouth water. His rut, that had been threatening since meeting Emma was now in full swing. His thoughts were quickly giving way to is Alpha instincts; protect, care for, and knot his mate.

Lancaster already had his hand on the door, knowing his presence wouldn’t be tolerated by a rutting Alpha for much longer. “She’ll wake in a couple of hours. When she does, the best treatment for her, is you.”

It was the faint, high pitched whine that finally pulled Emma from her dreamless sleep. She felt warm and secure. That lovely scent of sun-warmed cedar forest tickled her nose and she sighed in contentment, snuggling towards it.

“’Mega?”

The worry edged fear in that deep voice had her frowning before she even opened her eyes. When she did, Dean’s face was mere inches from hers, his handsome features tight with stress. The anxiety that rolled off him in waves made her heart clench. He was terrified.

She brought her hand out from under the nest of blankets and threaded it through Dean’s hair, “Alpha.”

Dean crushed her to his chest, his whole body trembled, weak with relief. After that wretched doctor left, Dean had ridded them both of their clothes and bundled them up under a mountain of blankets. He kept their bodies pressed as closely together as possible, his instincts telling him skin to skin contact was crucial to his Omega’s recovery. A warm, safe nest for just the two of them where he could protect her and look after her properly.

He scented her deeply, desperate to drown himself in the sweet fragrance. “Thank God,” he murmured over and over again.

“Shh, it’s alright. I’m alright,” she soothed, brushing kisses against his forehead. She held him tight as he shook in her arms. A virile, strong Alpha like him wouldn’t be scared by much, and that told her all she needed to know about how critical things had gotten.

He had taken care of her, gotten her help and no doubt saved her life. Now it was her turn to take care of him, “I’ve got you; I’m right here.”

He kissed her roughly, stealing her words along with her breath. Desperation and urgency in every heated pass of his mouth over hers. His hands groped her aggressively, pawing at any bit of softness he could find. It took him several minutes to regain his control. He abruptly pulled away, panting for composure he would not easily grasp.

“I’m sorry… sorry.” He let his forehead fall against hers as his chest heaved. His voice was low and hoarse. “You need rest.”

Emma studied Dean’s pinched features. The tension coiled uncomfortably, barely contained, under the surface, sweat dotted his skin and his rock-hard length twitched between them. His eyes were nearly black, overtaken by the hormones and lust ravaging his system. This whole mess had triggered his rut, God knows how long he had been suffering with it while she was unconscious. The added worry that his mate was dying had made it nearly unbearable.

Her heart broke for him then and with it came guilt. This whole thing was her fault. She knew the consequences of doing anything with an Alpha while she was still taking the treatments. It was reckless and irresponsible and unforgivably selfish.

She cupped the side of his face, gently brushing her thumb over the ridge of his cheekbone. He closed his eyes and leaned into her soothing touch. “I don’t need rest. I only need you.”

“No,” he muttered, trying to ignore the urges running through him. “I’m rough. Too rough. Don’t wanna hurt you.”

She continued to stroke his face, calming and soothing. “You won’t hurt me, I’m your Omega. And your Omega is a strong Omega.”

Dean mustered up a final ounce of control and looked into her deep, blue eyes. The comfort and consent he saw there eased the tightness in his chest. “’Mega mine.”

“Yours.” Emma confirmed softly and brushed her lips feather-light over his, “Mate now. Rest later.”

It lasted five days in total. Each of them seamlessly providing what the other needed most. Alpha and Omega. Balanced. Each a perfect counterpoint to the other. They relished in the joy of being together. Every experience was exciting and new, every touch satisfied in ways that surprised. Very few words were spoken, their connection was so strong that it over-rode the need to talk. That knowing, that deep down in the soul kind of certainty was staggering. The intimacy of their bond was deeper and more complex than either of them had ever known.

Now that their respective heat and rut cycles had ended, they were left with the rather mundane task of how to weave their lives together. These were the boring, yet very necessary details of the real world. The world outside of cozy one they’d created within the confines of the hotel suite. Neither of them were particularly excited at the prospect.

“So, going by this hotel room we’ve been honeymooning in, I’m guessing you’re not a New Yorker.”

Dean caught her gaze in the mirror as he deftly buttoned up the crisp, white dress shirt and smiled. Even her reflection caused his stomach to flip over. “Nope, Chicago. Born and bred. You?”

“Manhattan.”

“You ever been to the windy city?”

“A couple of times,” she shrugged, tucking her legs up demurely under her backside. “It’s not bad for fly-over country.”

“Fly-over country?” Dean scoffed, “Chicago is in the heartland, the Midwest. Everything a big city has to offer with access to wide open spaces. Way better than this uptight sand bar.”

“Is that so? Then what’s a guy like you doing slumming it around the boroughs? Cruising for a mate?”

“Nah, I just got lucky.” Dean plopped down to sit beside her on the bed and kissed her loudly. “I travel a lot for work. I’m in New York once a month or so.”

“Will you come back more now?” She asked hopefully, the thought of only seeing him once a month had her heart twisting.

“Well, I thought that you’d come back with me. You know, live with me in Chicago.” Seeing her face fall, he rushed to reassure her, hoping that he wasn’t bungling things too much. “I’m sure you will need some time to get things tied up here, but I want you with me ‘Mega. And we can come back as often as you like.”

“Why don’t you move here with me?”

Dean nearly scoffed, but the earnest look in her eyes suggested a softer approach might be better. “Sweetheart, my business is in Chicago. I make a good living, an excellent living actually. I have an apartment there along with some property in the country. I’ll take good care of you; you won’t have to worry about anything ever again.”

She raised her chin to look Dean square in the eye, “My business is in New York. I make an excellent living and I own a beautiful Brownstone on the upper east side. I don’t have a country cottage, but I’m willing to work that into our negotiations.”

“Negotiations?!” He sat back with a laugh, “You are something else, you know that? Omegas don’t negotiate living arrangements with their Alphas.”

She leveled her gaze, “Yours does.”

His mate wasn’t one to give in easily, and he loved that about her. Her spirit. Her fight. She challenged him, made him earn her submission. Made him prove he was worthy of her. He was happy to oblige her.

He leaned in close, his mouth centimeters from hers but not touching. He ghosted over, getting tantalizingly close but never making contact. Catching on, she let him edge her backwards on the bed. It was one of those games teenagers play, like there’s an invisible barrier around their bodies that allow them to get close but never touch. They moved in tandem, he filled up space she had occupied only moments before. She retreated as he advanced.

Dean’s movements were sleek and slow, like a panther. He never stopped his progression, never broke contact with her gaze. He watched with hooded eyes as the glint of rebellion gave over to something softer.

He hovered over her body only a hair’s breadth away, his grin was predatory, “Lucky for you, I’m an expert negotiator.”

Emma struggled to keep her thoughts orderly. It was growing increasingly difficult as her mate hovered above her. His scent surrounded her, his arms and legs caging her in. He was everywhere and she could feel herself start to float on that heady, seductive cloud. She couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her lips. Nowhere in the whole world felt as good, as right, as being with him.

It wasn’t until he saw her eyes flutter shut that he broke that invisible barrier between them. His nose brushed the claiming mark and inhaled deeply before moving on to the spot just behind her ear. It was one of her favorites and he had discovered just how sensitive it was over the past few days.

When he nuzzled her then nipped, she moaned and brought her fingers up to comb through his hair still damp from the shower. “Mmm… you make a valid point.”

He chuckled as he continued his assault. Moving down the graceful column of her neck, he sampled silky skin.

“I have an idea,” she said as Dean made his way to the zipper of her hoodie and started to ease it down. When he didn’t reply but moved his fingers moved to her waistband, she gave a sharp tug on the short hairs at the base of his skull.

“Agh!” He grunted as she wiggled out from under him. With a pained sigh and a semi hard erection, he propped himself up on one elbow. “Better watch it, Sweetheart. You know I like it rough.”

Emma sat up, regal as a queen. Determined to get back to business. “I think we should date.”

“Date,” he repeated. “We’re mated. We’ve spent the last five days claiming each other in every way possible. Don’t you think we’re a little past the dating phase?”

A worried frown creased her brow, “You don’t want to date me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I know it’s a little… backwards, but so what? Why should we do things the way other people do?” She gave a shy smile as she appealed to him. “I want to get to know you.”

He sat himself up completely and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “We are going to spend the rest of our lives getting to know each other.”

He instead of reassuring her, he felt her pull away. He felt like kicking himself, somehow, he’d managed to say something wrong. He crooked a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. There was disappointment there, “It means that much to you?”

“Well, I thought it would be fun and I… I’ve never dated before. Not really, anyway.” She replied, struggling to keep embarrassment from coloring her voice.

Dean couldn’t help being surprised. Shocked. She was a beautiful woman, stunning actually. He had no doubt that his pretty little Omega had turned heads from an early age. She was so smart and fun and sexy, it seemed impossible that no one had ever tried to date her. Although the very thought had his possessive Alpha jealousy flaring.

“Never? No boyfriend ever?”

She shook her head and bit her lip. One of her more noticeable nervous tells. “No, not really. I mean, I’ve gone on a few dates but there was never anyone special.”

“Does this have to do with those black-market suppressants you were taking?”

“They weren’t black-market,” she countered, “I wasn’t getting shot up in back alleys, I was under a doctor’s care.”

“Oh, you mean that gargoyle that showed up? That guy was a dick, he had the bedside manner of a cab driver!”

“What he lacks in congeniality he makes up for in discretion.” Emma crossed her arms over her chest defensively. She wasn’t accustomed to defending her actions to anyone, especially regarding her presentation treatments. It was a well-guarded family secret, discussing it with anyone else made her very uneasy. Even if that person was her Alpha, the one person meant to protect her.

“Being an Omega is nothing but a liability, it’s a weakness. This city is full of Alphas who think they can drag me back to their cave by my ponytail. Or boss me around because the world order says they should be in charge of everything!”

Frustrated, she blinked back the stinging in her eyes. Tears that threatened to fall only seemed to undermine her point. Usually, she had a tight rein on her emotions but ever since being claimed, they refused to stay where she put them. They were like a storm she was constantly trying to keep from breaking through.

“I just wanted to live my life without having to worry that my presentation would get me overlooked for a promotion or kidnapped by a rut-crazed Alpha.”

Dean hated the fear and stress he felt from her. Her eyes bright with unshed tears. He knew the world wasn’t an easy place for Omegas. Emma certainly wasn’t alone in her feelings on the matter and many others had taken the same route. Suppressants and scent blockers were a common and safe method for most people who wanted a bit of anonymity.

“You’re right,” he said with a sigh, taking both of her hands in his. Reveling in how delicate they seemed compared to his. How easily they could be bruised or broken. “There’s nothing wrong with Omegas using suppressants. Hell, if I were in your shoes, I’d probably do the same thing. It’s just that reaction you had, you were so cold. I thought I was going to lose you. I’ve never been that scared. And then that creepy doctor… acting like he didn’t care if you lived or died. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands.”

Emma leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. “I know. I’m sorry Dean, it’s my fault. I knew better, I just got caught up. And then when my heat started, I couldn’t think straight.”

“It’s understandable. I did kind of sweep you off your feet.”

“You did,” she smiled softly. “That’s why I had only been with Betas before.”

Dean pulled back and looked at her with curiosity, “So you’ve never been with an Alpha before me?”

“No.”

His grin was instant and cocky as his chest puffed out. “Good.”

She rolled her eyes, “Shut up.”

He laughed and pulled her onto his lap, tucking her head under his chin. She fit there so perfectly; Dean knew he would never grow tired of holding her. Leaving New York without her, would likely be one of the hardest things he would ever do. He took a deep inhale of her sweet scent and groaned. “Okay Sweetheart, you win. Let’s date.”

Emma drew back and looked up at him with wide, hopeful eyes, “Really?”

“Hell, why not!”

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with such enthusiasm that he nearly toppled backwards. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Just you wait,” he muttered through their joined lips, “I’ve got all kinds of romantic cards up my sleeve.”

When her face lit up Dean felt his heart swell. Yeah, being separated for any amount of time would be torture, but worth it if it made her so happy.

She eyed him with suspicion. “You aren’t just giving me my way because I cried, are you?”

“I hate seeing you cry, but no. You made a valid point. It’ll take us time to get everything figured out, why not have some fun while we’re at it?”

The dimple in her left cheek appeared and her eyes sparkled with the smile that bloomed. She was practically glowing with excitement and hope. Shining like the sun, the new center of his universe. His whole future held in his arms.

#alpha!dean x omega!reader #alpha!dean winchester #a/b/o #jensen ackles #jensen x reader #jensen x y/n #Jensen x ofc #dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean x reader #dean x y/n #dean x you #Dean x ofc #a/b/o smut #spn fic #supernatural #To The Victor

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cevansbrat0007 · 2 years

Text

Late Night Fright

Summary: What happens when your home alarm goes off in the middle of the night? What happens when your greatest fear comes to life? Andy Barber x Black Reader, Bianca Barber, Katrina Barber

Read the Sequel: After That Late Night Fright

Warnings: Fear, Violence, Protective Reader, Protective Andy, Scared Kids, Home Invasion, Gun Violence, BiBi Barber, KitCat Barber, Minors DNI

A/N: This is dark, well darker than what I’ve written for this series, but it’s been in my head for a while. Let know your thoughts. Part of my Growing Pains Series. Please send me your feedback, friends!

___

It was 2:36am...

You and Andy shoot out of bed the moment the alarm goes off.

Shit! Was someone in the house? Oh God! You think.

“Andy!” You hiss. “Holy fuck!”

He pulls out a gun from the nightstand next to him and cocks it, before handing you an exacto-knife he’d been using from some DIY project earlier in the week.

“Y/N, baby, you go get the girls, take Katrina to Bianca’s bedroom. Lock the door, call 911, and don’t open it for anyone isn’t me or a fucking cop. Understand?”

You nod, trying not to cry as the alarm system keeps blaring.

“Be careful, Andy. Please?” You whimper.

“You got it. I love you. Stay behind me for a moment, alright? When I say go, you go.”

“I love you too.” You whisper.

The two of you inch out into the hallway, both looking around for anything that seems off.

“Go!” Andy hisses. “I fucking love you.”

You make it to Katrina’s bedroom, only to realize she’s not there. Heart in your throat, you run to Bianca’s bedroom. Please, God. Let them be together!

You are beyond grateful when you see the two of them clinging to each other.

“Mama, it’s loud!” BiBi yells.” Throwing the door shut, you make sure to lock it before throwing your arms around them. They’re both crying, and so are you.

“I know, babies. It’s gonna be okay.” You whisper.

“Wan’ Dada. Wan’ Dada bad.” KitCat cries.

“Me too.” BiBi whimpers.

“Shhh. Daddy is just fine.” You hoped. Grabbing your phone, you dial 911.

Dispatcher: 911. What is your emergency?

You: Our home alarm system is going off and I think there is an intruder in our home.

Dispatcher: Okay, have you seen anyone?

You: No. I’m holed up in a room with my two little daughters. But my husband is Andrew Barber, the county District Attorney. I need someone to come now. Please!

Dispatcher: Okay, ma’am. I got that. I’m dispatching some cars to you now. In the meantime, I want you to stay on the phone with me.

You: Okay, okay.

“See girls? We’re all gonna be okay.” You kiss their cheeks, their ears, their foreheads.

Dispatcher: How long has the alarm been going off?

You: Not quite sure, maybe about ten minutes. My husband has a gun. I haven’t heard a gun go off, so maybe it’s nothing but -”

And then you see the knob turn. And then you hear someone lean against the door, like they’re throwing their whole weight against it.

“Shhh!” You hiss at your girls. “Quiet!”

That wasn’t Andy. And it wasn’t a cop.

You: Someone is in our house. They’re at my baby’s door. I have to go.

Dispatcher: Ma’am, stay on the line with me. We’ll have officers to you within the next five minutes, just stay -”

You end the call. The doorknob continues to rattle, and now the person on the other side is slamming themselves against the door. It was going to break any moment. You knew it.

Making a quick decision, you grab both of your girls and put them in BiBi’s closet. “Mama loves you so much.” You tell them both. The banging gets louder. “But right now, I want you to hug each other. Good. And Mama needs for you both to be quiet. Not a sound, okay? Not a sound. And do not move. I’m gonna make the bad person go away. But shhh!” And then you take BiBi’s hamper and dump the clothes on top of them, as well as a sheet.

Now it looked like you just kept an untidy closet. Fine by you.

You shut the closet door, just in time for the bedroom door to burst open. You keep the exacto-knife hidden behind your back.

“Hi, you fucking cunt.” The strange man growls. “Looks like it’s just you that’s home tonight, huh?”

“Looks like it.” You respond.

“But if that’s the case, then how come you’re hiding in one of your baby’s rooms?”

“Hmm?” You mutter as you subtly angle your body in front of the closet door.

“Shame your husband’s not here. I owe him.”

“Oh, wow.”

“I was hoping he’d be here. Along with your girls. Spent all this time imagining his face when he saw their lifeless bodies. Guess I’ll have to settle for you. Maybe I’ll fuck you first. I’m sure he doesn’t give it to you right, you little fucking slut.”

Keeping the knife behind your back, you use your thumb to push the blade out as far as you can manage.

“Where are your precious baby girls?” He growls.

“With their grandma tonight. Thank goodness.” You lie. “Since it’s me by myself, this seemed like a good place to hide.” You keep yourself in front of that closet. You would die before he got to them.

“Well, lucky you, Huh, bitch? Hope you like being split open on a real man’s cock. Maybe, I’ll record this shit.” He lunges towards you, prompting you to slash out with your knife. You manage to gouge his chest. And then you let out the loudest scream you can manage.

“Ahhh!” He snarls. “What the fuck? You dumb bitch, I -”

You hear the thud of heavy footsteps racing up the stairs. Andy. You think. Please be Andy. And then you see him, you see your man as he steps into the room.

Andy. He was okay.

“Go near my wife again, and you’re gonna die, asshole.” Your husband snarls.

“Y/N,” Andy growls. “Grab the girls and take them downstairs. You call the cops?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay, go.”

Knowing your husband had the gun trained on the man, you rip open the closet door, throw off the clothes and grab both of your girls in your arms. And then you run towards the stairs.

“I love you!” You call out as you do so. Just in time to hear a BANG.

You didn’t know it then, but Andy had shot the man in the leg.

You set your girls down just as the police arrive. But you’re already a sobbing, sweaty mess. You open your front door, identify yourself, and point them upstairs, while your two girls are huddled in the dining room.

God, how were you going to fix that?

You literally crawl back into the dining room while all of the commotion is happening. You have the books Goodnight Moon and Sanji and The Baker, in your hands.

“Hi, ladies. What-say we read something nice while the good guys get rid of the monster upstairs?”

They both nod.

“Okay, let’s start...”

END

#Chris Evans #andy barber #chris evans x black!reader #andy barber x woc!reader #chris evans woc!reader #andy barber black!reader #chris evans imagines #andy barber imagines #chris evans fanfic #andy barber fanfic #Cevansbrat0007 fic #cevansbrat0007growing pains series #bianca barber #katrina barber

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starsofmilos · 2 years

Text

I felt the same (Adrian Chase x reader)

Request: ok i know you did a similar theme with the amnesia fic and stuff but im such a sucker for the trope of someone being taken and the person they love trying to get them back, i was wondering if you could something where the reader is taken by ppl who want info on task force x or vigilante or something and they would never ever give up vigilante or their friends but they're really scared and close to giving up because they dont think anyone cares about them and doesnt think anyone is gonna come for them (meanwhile adrian is like losing his mind looking for them, but they didnt know he felt the same way)

Okie! I gotcha.

Masterlist

Warnings: angst, torture, violence, kidnapping, cursing, (READ WITH CAUTION),

Adrian felt sick. He didn’t know why he felt sick. He just knew he did. Something was wrong and he was wracking his brain all day struggling to find the answer. Maybe he was coming down with a small bug. That’s at least what he tried to convince himself as he sat at the office with all of you trying to concentrate on the details for the next mission.

You kept glancing at him concerned seeing him look so distant. It wasn’t usually like him. Adrian knew you kept glancing at him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to look back. Something was wrong. It felt like his chest was about to burst. It felt tight and he felt weak.

Right after Emilia finished the debriefing. You went to him wanting to check on him. “Hey Adrian. You okay?” He tried to shoot a smile to you not wanting to make you worry over him. You were someone he held close.

You both grew close when he joined the task force. It wasn’t hard for Adrian to fall for you. You were this kind, gentle nurse and IT tech. You didn’t treat him like he was dumb and genuinely respected his opinions.

“Yeah I’m okay cookie.” His nickname for you was cookie. You had a habit of stress baking and there was an entire week of you bringing him nonstop cookies wanting to get rid of them.

He loved it. You practically spoiled him. Anytime he was hurt, you fussed the most and would lecture him on being more careful. You didn’t care how he was Vigilante and even offered to be his personal nurse. Adrian realized he gained feelings for you the night he was shot. You sat everyday in the hospital waiting for him. Nursing him back to health when he got home.

You also had it bad for Adrian. It was hard not to fall for the guy. Did he have a dark side? Yeah, but besides that he was the nicest and sweetest person you had ever met. He was a dork and genuinely made you laugh. You liked him, but terrified of losing one of the best friends you’ve ever had, you never told him.

“You sure dude?” He nodded as you sat next to him pressing your palm to his forehead. “You don’t have a fever.” You sighed a bit worried. Adrian shook his head. “You don’t fuss over me. I’ll be good dude.” Adrian moved your hand off of him smiling at you.

You nodded before standing up. “Well I gotta go pick up lunch you wanna come with me?” You asked him hoping he’d agree. Usually some time out with you seemed to cheer him up.

“No I’m okay cookie. You go ahead.” You nodded. Adrian would regret not going with you. You grabbed your keys walking out with a small smile. “Alright I’ll be back soon.” You walked out driving to the pizza place everyone, but you seemed to like. It was alright though, your favorite deli was down the street from it.

You got the pizza setting it in your car right as you went to get in your seat. A cry called out to you. It was a young woman. “Please help!” You closed your door raising your hand approaching her. “Miss are you okay?!” “Oh thank god!! Please call 911!! My husband he passed out!” You looked to where she was pointing seeing a man on the floor.

“I’m a doctor! Let me look over him.” You ran to him pulling your phone out calling 911. Sighing in relief checking his pulse, you turned to his wife who stood behind you, “Does he have any preexisting medical condition-” You stopped seeing her smile before screaming feeling the man push a rag against your mouth.

‘Don’t breathe. Don’t breathe.’ You struggled trying to fight it off, but the need for air became too much. The woman smirked as your eyes drifted close. “We got her quickly throw her in the van.” The man nodded helping her moving to drive as she sat in the back tying you up. “We’ll finally get the info we want. Boss will be happy.” She cheered as you laid unconscious in the back.

It was two hours later than the time you said you’d be back. Adrian grew anxious waiting for your arrival. “Dude has anyone got in contact with Y/N?” John asked. Everyone was growing hungry. “I’ll call her.” Emilia sighed. She looked down in surprise when you didn’t answer. You always answer you phone. “Adrian can you try calling her?” He nodded feeling nauseated when it went straight to voicemail.

“John can you track her phone?” He nodded as Adrian kept calling you waiting for you to answer. “It says she still in front of the pizza place?” “Adrian-” Emilia was gonna ask him to go check on you.

“I’m on it.” He ran out with Chris behind him. They both got there immediately looking around for you. “Fuck where is she!?” “Vig her car!” Chris pointed at it. Adrian ran to it. Sure enough there sat the pizza but no sign of you. They both went silent seeing something shine in the distance.

“I’m calling Harcourt.” Chris told him as Adrian stared in shock at your bracelet that laid on the floor not to far from your car. You never took it off. It was a gift from Adrian. He saw it and thought of you so he bought it. It was only five dollars and mostly string, but you never took it off.

“Fuck!” Adrian kicked a nearby rock as the realization that something had happened to you settled in.

You gasped awake tied to a chair feeling groggy. “Fuck me...” You groaned out looking around. It was a dark room only one light shined in it and it was directly on you. “Shit.” You murmured struggling in your ties. Grunting as you tried to loosen the ties, you jumped hearing the door open.

“Hello.” A man walked in wearing a smirk. “You work with the task force correct?” You tried not to show your fear. “That depends who’s asking?” He smiled. “Ah a fighter I see.” You glared at him as he sat in front of you rolling his sleeves. “Listen I have some beef to deal with all of you.” You shook a bit as he pulled out a small pocket knife. “You guys destroyed my factory.”

The last mission you all had to break into a factory to get rid some butterflies working in there. Adrian had accidentally set the place on fire. You guys didn’t care enough to be angry the factory needed to be shut down anyways.”Okay and? Maybe you shouldn’t have been doing illegal shit.”

He laughed loudly as you pulled at your restraints. “You have no room to talk back. I’ve been scouting your team for a while now and came to the realization. You all need to pay. Because of you. I lost my fucking business. I’m still making money. Don’t get me wrong, but that was one my biggest sources of income-” “Oh boohoo. The villain lost their money. Fuck you.” He slapped you.

“Don’t fucking interrupt me bitch.” You spit on him as he smiled. “See I knew it was a good idea to grab you.” You tried to pull away as he grabbed your chin squeezing. “I’ve been watching your team. Trying to figure out who was the best to take. I thought about the one with the dye beard, but he would crack easily. I wanna break someone.” You struggled against his hold as he trailed his knife down your arm.

“I knew Waller’s daughter wouldn’t be fun. They’d get involved and she’d probably spend everything to find her. I didn’t want that trouble. The blonde one would’ve held out way longer than I would want her too. Even I know I can’t over power Peacemaker or Vigilante, but then I realized something...You.”

You cursed as he cut your forearm. “I saw you. The way they interact with you. You are the doctor for them. You cure them and care for them, but they don’t seem to care for you like you do them. So I wanted to take the one that would be easiest to break and you were perfect. You are gonna be so fucking fun to tear down. I give you three days before you give up all your friends that includes Vigilante’s identity.” You cried out as he dug his knife into your shoulder.

“FUCK YOU!” You struggled against your chains crying out as he cut your thigh. You screamed as he began slashing you. “This is gonna be fun Doc!” You glared at him as he laughed.

Adrian had been pacing the room. Why didn’t he go with you? Why did they take you? He grit his teeth kicking a nearby chair. “Dude calm down. I’m already looking for nearby footage.” John called out to him as Emilia sat there angrily. Who the fuck thought it was smart to take you of all people?

“Hurry the fuck up!” Adrian yelled at him sitting down. “We need to find her!!” Adrian had been playing every possible scenario in his head. What if they were hurting you? Or worse killed you?

“Okay I got it.” They all ran surrounding John. “Look there’s a woman approaching her.” Adebayo called out pointing at you. “Why did Y/N follow her?” Emilia asked before seeing you bend down behind a car. They moved to the camera showing a man had been laying unconscious on the floor.

“She was helping them,” Adrian spoke out before cursing as he saw the man sit up pressing a rag against your mouth. “Motherfucker!” Adrian yelled out angrily. You had asked him to go with you. He should’ve gone with you.

“Adrian calm down we’re gonna find her.” “They fucking played her. They had to have been watching her to know she would’ve helped them. She’s a doctor!” He sat down gripping his hair. Everyone else went silent. They couldn’t lose you, Adrian couldn’t lose you.

“Okay..” Emilia spoke up. “John start tracking her phone. Adebayo I need you to go to the store and ask the shop owners questions. Chris and me are gonna go over all of our old missions to see who could’ve targeted us-” “I got facial recognition on the guy!” John cut her off printing it. “Adrian and me can go interrogate him,” Adrian stood up grabbing his mask and guns walking out.

“Let’s fucking go,” Emilia nodded. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Chris called out to her. “Yeah. Adrian will get them to talk.”

You gasped for air as your head popped up after being dunked in water. You coughed as the man let your hair go letting you fall back into your side. “Still don’t wanna talk? What’s Vigilante’s name?” You shook your head. “Your mom-” Your head was dunked again and held under for a good five seconds. He only pulled you up when you began to not struggle anymore.

“Come on don’t die on me yet doc.” You coughed throwing up a bit as he dropped you on the floor. “I’ll come back later maybe then you’ll talk.” You laid on the floor taking the time to feel peace before he came back in here. It had been an hour or so you think. Maybe it was longer. Time kinda blurred together. “They’ll find me..” You tried to reassure yourself.

“Who the fuck hired you?!” Adrian yelled out breaking the man’s leg as he screamed out trying to crawl away. Emilia stood outside the house being the lookout for Adrian. “I don’t know!! The woman just told me to drug her!” He cried out as Adrian panted above him pulling his gun out. “NO NO! Please!!”

“I’m gonna give you one more fucking chance. Who the fuck hired you? And why did you take her?” The man cried a bit as Adrian glared at him. “Fucking speak damn it!” He kicked the man. “You stupid motherfuckers!!” Adrian picked him up single handily slamming him against the wall.

“Fucking speak.” “His name was Vin! That’s what she said! His name is Vin!!!” He wanted her because they noticed she was close to all of you. They said she was the easiest to break!!” He cried out as Adrian heaved turning his head. “Where is she?” “That I don’t know! I swear to you! I swear I don’t fucking know! I drove them to another car! It was red! I helped her in there and then drove off! I’m sorry!!”

Adrian laughed a bit. “Oh you’re fucking sorry?! You weren’t fucking sorry when she struggled against you! Were you?! When you made profit off of a woman who thought you were hurt and instead of fucking driving off ran to you to fucking help!! Were you fucking sorry then?!” He threw him down stomping on his neck killing him. Adrian walked out. “Did you get that?!” Emilia nodded grabbing the mans phone. “We’ll see what John can get from this.”

You sobbed into the floor as the man, who you found out goes by the name Vin, stomped on your collarbone. A loud crack resounded through the door. “Did you know it’s been five days Y/N?” You cough trying to managed through the pain as Vin kicked you.

“I’ll take that as you didn’t. It’s officially been five days since you’ve been taken and your friends..They have yet to find you. Maybe they don’t want to find you.” “Shut up..” You whimpered out softly. “Oh you want me to shut up? Can’t deal with the reality that no one fucking cares for you. They probably found themselves a new doctor. You were just a fucking work associate. They were never your friends-” You spat on his shoe glaring up at him.

“I’m not telling you shit. You mother fucking asshole.” He smirked. “I knew you would be fun to break.” He walked out. “I’ll come back later. Make sure to keep her alive.” He yelled out to his team as he left. “They’re gonna come for me...They will..”

“It’s been a fucking week how the fuck have we not fucking found her!!” Adrian threw a nearby pencil holder to the wall. “We’re trying Adrian!” Adebayo yelled out wanting him to calm down. “She needs us! She is always taking care of us!! And now that she needs us she’s fucking alone!! I just fucking want her back!!” He paced the floor. “Adrian..” Emilia called out to him.

“What?” She sighed terrified of his reaction from what she was about to say. “It’s been a week. I’m sorry to say it, but we need to start thinking that..” “What?!” He yelled out. “They might have killed her already.” “No.” “Adrian-” “No all of you shut the fuck up. She is alive. We are not giving up on her.” John sighed nodding.

“She’s our friend..She would’ve been fighting for us. We can’t stop.”John agreed with Adrian. Emilia sighed sitting down. “I never said stop looking for her, but we need to start thinking that she’s-” “She’s not.” Adrian spoke up. Chris nodded with him. “Y/N is strong. She’s not gone.” Adrian shook a bit deciding to take off. Some patrol would do him so good.

He practically tore through every criminal he found that night.

Adrian went to every lead they found killing whoever he deemed necessary to find you. It had been officially a week and a half since you went missing. Adrian was tired, but he wasn’t stopping. They finally had a break through once they found the women who attacked you that day.

You cried out as you hung from the ceiling feeling him repeatedly punch you. “Tell me what I want to fucking know!” You sobbed into your arms shaking your head. “Fuck you bitch!” He kicked you in the stomach laughing as you cried. “No one fucking cares Doc. Why do you still want to protect them? All of this can stop if you just tell me what I want to know.”

Would it be so bad to tell him? You pondered for a bit. Did they actually care for you? Did Adrian actually care for you? He promised he would always protect you, so why isn’t he here now? Why didn’t he go with you that day? It’s not like he loved you like you loved him. He didn’t feel the same.

“Come on doc just spit it out..” You shook looking at him. “Vigilante’s name is...” He smiled widely waiting for you to speak. You clenched your teeth as your whole body throbbed in pain. You wanted so badly to break. You did. Adrian didn’t care for you. None of them cared for you, but the idea of him finding Adrian and killing him. That would haunt you for the rest of your life.

“His name is Fuck you.” You shook a bit as he grabbed a nearby crowbar. “Tsk tsk...Could’ve ended all of this..Fine I can hurt you a bit longer.” No one would come for you. That is what you realized, but you’ll be damned if you give up the person and people you held close to you.

You looked up hearing gunshots down the room. A roar echoed down the hallway. You looked at him with a small smile. “Fuck you.” You muttered out as he grabbed his gun running out there. You relaxed knowing help was just around the corner.

Shutting your eyes, you sobbed finally feeling the relief you’d been craving for days. “Y/N?” You opened your eyes seeing Adrian walk into the room cautiously. “Vigilante!” You yelled out crying. Tears streamed down your face as you saw him run to you. He began to cut the rope holding you catching you as you fell. You hiccuped curling into his hold as he gripped you tightly.

“I didn’t tell them anything I swear! I’m so sorry!” “Shh shh it’s okay..I know you didn’t tell him anything-” “I was so close to breaking! I’m so sorry!! Please don’t be mad at me!!” You grew a bit hysteric crying into Adrian’s chest. “I’m sorry!! I’m so fucking sorry! Adrian please-” Adrian shook his head feeling tears brim his eyes as he shushed you softly. “I’m not mad. I promise I’m not..”

He reached up about to pull his mask off before feeling your hands grab his. “Don’t! It’s not safe!” “It is. I promise you. You’re safe now..” You let him go letting him remove it. “See I’m here now..You’re safe..” You sobbed into his armor as he lifted you up carrying out of there. “Close your eyes.” You nodded gripping his shoulder tightly as he carried you carefully out.

Vin had been tied down by Chris and Harcourt. They both glared at him before widening their eyes seeing your shaking weak form. “She needs a doctor.” They both nodded. “Kill this motherfucker and let’s get out of here.” Adrian wanted to be the one to kill him, but as you gripped his shoulder hiding your face in his chest. He realized there was someone more important.

You jumped hearing a loud gunshot before being laid down gently in the van by Adrian. “Hold on. We’re gonna get you help okay?” You nodded gripping his hand. “I’m sorry...” “It’s okay. You’re okay..You did such a good job holding on for us.” John began to drive.

“Please don’t be mad at me..It hurt it was so constant..I’m so sorry I almost broke..” You cried into his legs. Adebayo wiped her face. You were hurting so bad you almost broke. John clenched the steering wheel speeding up a bit.

Chris comfortingly rubbed your leg as Adrian stroked your hair. Emilia stood silent shaking a bit as you cried in relief. Adrian shook his head. “It’s okay..None of us are mad at you..” “Promise?” You whimpered out as Adrian stroked your hair. “I promise..” He sniffled a bit as your eyes began to droop.

“Hey hey! Come one now. Stay awake for us yeah?” “I’m sorry..I’m just so tired.” “Stay awake Y/N..” “I got scared I’d never get to tell you..Adrian I love you..” He shook his head. “Come on stay with us! Hurry the fuck up!” John nodded practically breaking all the traffic laws.

“I love you so much..” You whispered out grabbing his hand. “I know you probably don’t feel the same-” “No I do! I do! So please stay awake! Please! For me?” You shook your head. “I can’t..” “Yes you can Y/N.” Emilia spoke up moving near you. “You can. We know you can.” Chris nodded. “You’re the strongest one here. You can stay awake Y/N.” Adebayo nodded agreeing with Chris. “We have so much to tell you so stay awake okay?”

“I’m sorry guys..” Your eyes shut as you drifted off. “NO! NO! Please don’t take her! Please!” Adrian broke down yelling at John to hurry. “Please. Please.” He begged.

Once at the hospital, Adrian ran in screaming for help with his mask on. Everyone else ran in behind him yelling too. They wheeled you off as they all sat in the waiting room. Adrian tapped his foot impatiently for the time they had you. It was two hours when a doctor came out. “How is she?” Adrian was the first to ask. “She’s okay.” “She is?” “Yeah it was a very close call though. Her collarbone is broken. It seems like she was hit and mended repeatedly. There’s still stitches on cuts that don’t look old.”

Adrian clenched his fist. They were keeping you alive just to torture you all over. “Can we see her?” Emilia asked him. He shook his head. “No not yet anyways. She’s malnourished and is very lucky to be alive. We have her in the ICU. We will call you all with any news.”

Adrian sat at home for a bit before showering. He let himself fully break down when he looked at himself in the mirror. He let you down. You were hurt and scared. He wasn’t there. He wasn’t fucking there.

He drove back in the hospital spending three whole days there waiting for any news for you. The nurses encouraged him to go home, but he wouldn’t budge. Once you were allowed visitors, he sat in your room the whole time waiting for you to wake up.

Your eyes felt dry as you opened them. You winced trying to sit up before hearing a toilet flush. Adrian came out gasping as he saw you awake. You immediately threw the blanket off wanting to run to him. Adrian was near within seconds though pushing you back down. “Rest.” “I kept telling them I wanted to see you-” “I know, but rest.” You nodded feeling tears threaten to spill over. “I’m-” “Don’t you dare fucking apologize again.”

“I love you.” Adrian murmured into your hairline as he kissed your face. “You have no idea how crazy I went looking for you..” You frowned seeing the dark bags under his eyes. “I almost gave you up. I thought you didn’t care for-”

“Don’t even finish that. Y/N I literally killed so many people just to find you. I love you and care for you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you..” Adrian let himself cry into you. “I love you too..” “I swear I felt the same! I swear I did!” You nodded hugging him as best as you could with one arm. Your other being in a cast and sling.

“I’m sorry I doubted you..” He shook his head. “No it’s okay..I’m just so fucking relieved you’re actually here. I felt the fucking same. I swear to you..” You nodded as he kissed your cheek. You grabbed his face kissing him needing to feel him close. Adrian kissed you back just as eagerly wanting you close as well. Your teeth clacked against one another as gripped the nape of his neck tightly. You wanted to stay like this longer, but you needed air.

“I thought I wouldn’t get to tell you..” “I know. I thought the same.” Adrian sniffled as you wiped his tears away. “I love you Adrian..” “I love you Y/N..” He smiled kissing you once more. There were still things to talk about, but for now Adrian needed the reassurance that you were actually here. Hurt and scarred, but still here..

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