#genuinely there were parts here and there that ppl would say things at me and i just went Okay I Guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feyascorner · 5 months

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until I come back alive

summary. in which you come back injured from a particularly unlucky battle, and Astarion realizes his feigned affections for you are not feigned at all.

warnings. angst, fluff, Astarion being bad at feelings

pairing. Astarion x GN!reader

a/n. this is super long omg ALSO TYSM for the love on my previous fic! It was my first post so I didn’t realize more than like two ppl would see it!! Kind of scary but also I can write more astarion so oh well 🙏

“The way they look at you is different from the way they look at us.”

Astarion raises a brow at this, glancing at Karlach who adjusts a log in the campfire paying no heed to the flickering flames brushing against her skin. She smiles to herself, genuinely, and he questions if she’s finally gone mad.

“So have you said the big ‘L’ word yet?” she asks excitedly, turning to him with a big grin. He shifts away from her, the increasing heat radiating off her body but she doesn’t seem to care, too busy staring at him expectantly.

“The what?”

“You know! The ‘L’ word,” she says the last part in a hushed whisper, as if it’d be a sin for anyone else to hear. Occasionally it baffles him how childish she can be, though he’d never voice these concerns out loud considering she could snap his poor body in half if she really wanted.

He also knows that she’s more emotionally capable in how she approaches these relationships (though one could argue it’s just innocence)—in ways he’s lost over the past 200 years. Though, he makes an effort to shove these thoughts to the deepest corners of his brain for the sake of his own sanity.

“If you’re speaking of ‘love,’” He emphasizes it with a strange accent. “No. I have not. Nor have they.”

She appears puzzled. “Why not?”

He sighs irritably, bringing a hand to adjust the cuffs on his hand. “Must everything be put bluntly? So glaringly obvious?”

“You love each other, don’t you?”

At this, he falters, just the slightest before plastering his usual grin that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Love is a wide spectrum, dear. Tav and I are whatever they want us to be.”

A late night partner would be the most positive thing he could refer you to. A fling, an amusement, or whatever words people described the arrangement between the two of you as, he didn’t care for it. He’d given himself to you, and you to him—-physically, at least, and you’d seem more than content with it. In return, he received protection, which was a sufficient payment in return for his hushed words of affection and kisses. A fair trade, he deemed.

Sure, he could’ve chosen anyone else in the camp. But he’d seen the way your eyes lit up at the sight of him, surely dazed at his flirtatious tendencies. You’d been an easy target. A survival tool.

And yes, maybe he’d played with your innocent feelings, but could you really blame him? He’d given you the nights of your life, for something so simple in return. It was a transaction.

Karlach waves a dismissive hand which brings him back to the present, propping herself on her arm behind her. “Life’s too short for that bullshit. Either you love someone or you don’t.”

“Fortunately for me, I have all of eternity,” he snorts. “Unless I were to suddenly lose the unwanted visitor inside my head and step into the sunlight, I’ll be here to watch the world fall and rise a dozen times over I’m afraid.”

“But they don’t,” Karlach frowns. “Tav doesn’t have eternity.”

He ignores the way his jaw clenches. He’s afraid, he thinks, of losing the freedom he’s just gained.

“Did you call me?”

Both the vampire and tiefling turn to your voice, where you stand blankly with an armful of logs clutched to your waist. Karlach opens her mouth to respond, but Astarion is faster.

“Nothing, darling. Just answering a few curious questions from Karlach here.”

“Oh,” you blink at him, shrugging before setting the logs beside the fireplace. “Well, Gale, Shadowheart, and I are going to the village across the forest tomorrow morning to check on the goblins appearing there recently. Won’t be back till noon so don’t wait up.”

“Don’t worry,” Karlach laughs. “I’ll keep the camp in order while you’re gone. If Astarion tries to bite Lae’zel, though, his fate’s inevitable.”

He rolls his eyes, opting to stand from his spot and take your hand. “Come along, darling. Any longer near this damned fireplace and my skin may melt.”

You nod with a smile, waving at Karlach before you follow him into his tent without a word of protest.

Easy, he thinks. Too easy.

He soon finds himself staring up at you from his place, laying his head on your lap as you read through a few scrolls you found throughout the day. He clicks his tongue and you look down, offering that sickeningly sweet smile again. “What’s wrong?”

“You have the most handsome person in this camp on your bloody lap and you want to read?”

You snicker at this, setting the scroll down beside you. “What do you suggest I do? Worship the very eyelashes on your face?”

“My body deserves much more praise than just the eyelashes.”

“Hm…” you pretend to be in thought. “That mole on your face is very obvious too.”

He gasps, immediately shooting upward as he grabs at his own face. “Tell me you’re lying.”

Your laughter rings throughout the tent, airy as you pull his hand away from his face. “I’m kidding, mostly.”

He stares at you as you recollect yourself, finding himself gazing at you far longer than he’d like to admit. Quickly, he adjusts, fiddling with the hand mirror he always keeps under his pillow as he watches you through it. “Karlach spoke of something ridiculous today. She said you were in love with me.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” he rolls his eyes. “That woman lives in a fairy tale I tell you. How she went through 10 years in Avernus is beyond me.”

There’s slight hesitance in your voice, and if he’d not learned your body language early on in your arrangement, he wouldn’t have even noticed it. “Astarion, have you ever been in love?”

He pauses at this, meeting your eyes head on now. There’s a heavier thickness in the air between the short distance between the two of you, and he immediately gauges what you want him to say. A lie readies itself at the tip of his tongue, his gaze searching yours for whatever fantasy that lives behind them.

Instead, your expression is blank. He finds nothing.

“No.” He’s not sure why he responded honestly, but it’s too late to take it back. “Have you?”

You look to the side. “I’m not sure anymore.”

“Anymore?” He shifts his head when you turn your chin further away, avoiding confrontation. “Has someone captured your impenetrable heart as of late? How intriguing—do tell.”

His teasing tone drops when you don’t smile at his usual antics. He’s not stupid—far from it. He knows you’ve begun to fall for him. It’s an obvious result from the 200 years of instinctive flirting he has tucked away in what remains of his soul, and it’s what he intended. What he needed.

The more enraptured you are, the longer he has protection.

He gently tilts your chin toward him, his fang visible through the grin that stretches across his face. “Tell me, pet, do you love me?”

Your eyes drop to his lips. “Do you want me to?”

A bunny caught in the fangs of a fox. It would be so easy to indulge—to go as far as to make you nothing but a puppet he toys with for his own personal gains. He can sense the way your finger twitches, itching to lace them with his own, and the crueler side of him forces his hand to stay put.

He wordlessly leans toward you, his lips grazing against the side of your neck. You shiver at the touch and he smiles wickedly to himself, drinking in the gasp that escapes you when he tilts your neck to the other side, where he usually drinks.

He doesn’t even have to ask. “Just—be gentle. Please.”

“Of course.” He unhinges his jaw, ready to plunge the knives of his teeth into where the sweet liquid gold rushes to your face, his shoulders finally relaxing when—

“I love you,” you whisper under your breath.

He stops.

Though unsure why, he freezes. Completely and utterly freezes.

“Astarion?”

He pulls away slowly, staring at you for a long moment before offering another smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“You look exhausted, my dear. I think that’s enough for tonight.”

“But you didn’t even feed?”

“I can handle myself, darling, as much as I appreciate your worries,” he stands and holds the flap of the tent open, practically a silent demand for you to leave.

He should be ecstatic. Gleaming with joy from being offered a drop of your blood, but instead, he feels knots forming in his stomach. And the longer he watches you, the worst they seem the get.

Hurt flashes across your face and he ignores the sudden tightness in his chest.

“Okay, well,” you say, stepping out hesitantly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, my dear.”

And as he lies wide awake in the middle of the night with nothing to accompany him but his own thoughts, he finds that all of them are overruled by his endless need for warmth. Not just anyone’s but the one he’s become accustomed to the past few months. No matter how much he curls up in his bedroll, all he can feel is the chill of his own body.

And he hates it more than he expected.

——

By the time he awakens, you’re long gone.

He’s rather productive. Taking walks, gathering supplies, catching up on his reading, he refuses to sit and lie around as the others await for you and your companions to return from the goblin village.

He even entertains sitting through one of Karlach’s dances, which somehow ends up being more entertaining than he’d imagined. While she didn’t fall flat on her face (which he admittedly looked forward to), it burnt through time regardless.

The peace is broken when he hears footsteps rushing toward the camp. He’s memorized everyone’s intervals when sprinting or pacing, so he’s quick to identify Gale and Shadowheart. He listens keenly for your own footsteps.

There are no third pair of footsteps at all.

Shadowheart stumbles into the camp, in a panic compared to her usual self, as she points toward a spot on the ground and snaps at Gale to put something down.

He only sees when she moves out of the way that this something, is rather someone.

You’re writhing in pain, eyes shut in an unconsciousness that’s surely preferable to what you’re feeling. You’re sweating, groaning in your sleep and everyone is immediately rushing to you.

His face would’ve gone pale, if it weren’t for the fact that he was already as ghostly as a sheet.

“What happened,” Lae’zel demands in place of him, and he opts to mindlessly push Gale to the side, who doesn’t say a word from the expression on Astarion’s face. He doesn’t know what he looks like, but from Gale’s reaction, it’s better he never know.

“Damned poison arrows,” Shadowheart hisses. “I’m completely out of magic for today. I need to make an antidote by hand before their condition gets any worse than it already is.��

Astarion brushes the back of his knuckles against your cheek. The creases between your brows soften for the slightest moment before they’re back again.

Lae’zel and Shadowheart are arguing again—something about how one thing would’ve happened if another thing hadn’t. He’s not even sure what they’re arguing about, but in an instant, rage flickers in his chest.

“Do something!” He snaps, suddenly making the camp go quiet. “Or are you just going to stand there and watch them die?”

He suddenly feels a hand grab his, and his eyes shoot down to see your own. Even in your sleep, you reach out to him. Even in the deepest part of slumber, you search for him. It makes him feel like the shittiest and luckiest person alive, especially as the your hurt expression from last night flashes in his mind.

“Help them,” the words spill out against his will, his tone breaking down into something more desperate. “Do something. For God’s sake, anything.”

In the moment, he doesn’t care about protection. He doesn’t give a shit about any of that because the second he’d seen you in genuine pain, it was all he needed to completely forget about the stupid reasons why he approached you in the first place.

All he cared about was your life.

Everyone glances at one another knowingly, but even Lae’zel doesn’t break the silence. Shadowheart spares him a furrowed glare before rushing to gather the antidote.

You only awake hours later. Certainly during the middle of the night, to the ceiling of a tent that’s certainly not your own. You slowly urge yourself to sit up, a pounding headache ringing in your skull, but your worries about it vanish when you hear his voice.

“Quite the nap, darling.”

You snap around to see him on the other side of the tent, albeit only a few feet away from how crunched it is. Fascinating, he thinks, that even with your disheveled hair and bloodshot eyes, he finds you more beautiful than before. “What happened?”

“You nearly died.”

“…how?”

“Poison,” he’s fiddling with his dagger, refusing to look at you. He can’t. In fear of what he might say. “Caused a reasonable panic too. Seems like our companions have grown more attached to you than anyone’s expected.”

You purse your lips, and he quickly mortifies at the exceeding need to part them with his own. You don’t seem to notice. “You too?”

“I was certainly worried our esteemed leader may kick the bucket earlier than anticipated, yes.”

“No, I mean,” you scrunch your eyes sheepishly, and he thinks it’s adorable. Gods he must be going insane. “Have you…grown attached?”

He raises a brow. “You just woke up from a life threatening experience and that’s what piques your interest?”

Your cheeks turn a shade darker. He wants to touch them. “I just…I was worried all day. About us. I got too distracted and of course, that’s on me, but one of the goblins took advantage and—“

He wants to climb into a coffin, guilt eating away at what remains of his organs. But when you fidget with the ends of his bedroll blanket, he can’t tell if his stomach is churning from shame or something else.

You stop, close your mouth, then open it again. “When I passed out, I was just thinking about how I would hate for us to part like that. I didn’t want last night to be our last moment.”

“No,” he says firmly. “While you’d been asleep, I’ve had quite some time to think, darling. And more time to wallow in my self pity for being stuck with an actual weirdo. I mean, do you hear yourself? Worrying about such a stupid encounter while on your deathbed? You should’ve been cursing me with all the strength you had left if you were going to think about me of all people!”

You smile a bit, and he grits his teeth at the way his throat goes dry. “I’m just glad.”

“For getting poisoned?”

“No,” you roll your eyes. “I’m glad I didn’t scare you off by telling you I loved you. I was afraid we wouldn’t talk like this anymore.”

His body wills him to freeze up again. To push you away, and to force the fantasy that his feelings towards you were nothing but manipulative. That you were nothing but a way to survive to him. But no, he couldn’t stand such cowardice any longer. Not after nearly losing you.

You offer him a pathetic laugh. “I don’t expect you to say it back, nor for you to feel the same way. I just—felt like you needed to know. It doesn’t change anything between us I hope. It just felt wrong to keep it to myself any longer and the way you reacted just made me regret it so much-“

He wraps his palm in front of your mouth, his other hand pulling you closer to his side in an instant. With your faces inches apart, he sighs irritably. “As much as I’d like to keep hearing your voice, I can’t stand its contents any longer I’m afraid.”

He lowers his hand, staring straight at your wide eyes as he narrows his own. “I do. Like you, I mean. A lot more than I’d like to admit, quite frankly.”

You blink as if you’re staring at a miracle.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he mumbles with a scoff. “I’ve had these feelings for a while now, I just didn’t wish to face them. When you said that to me yesterday, I just didn’t know how to respond, and for that, I am sorry. But losing you—I’m not sure what I would have done, but it’s certainly not a pretty sight.”

Your eyes soften and he’s certain he can lose himself within them for years. “I’ve never heard you sound so—sincere.”

He raises your knuckles to his lips, keeping them close even as he speaks. “I approached you out of necessity, I’ll admit. But it seems you’ve grown on me in a way I haven’t experienced since I’ve turned into a spawn. What you are to me—it’s difficult to describe.” He pauses. “Sometimes, I can still feel my heart beating with you.”

As your fingers brush against the side of his face, he swears he can feel it again. He almost feels warm, maybe even safe. And he’s sick and tired of denying himself of your embrace when death is around every corner.

You’re soon curled up into his chest, with his chin atop of your head. He’s not sure how much time passes—maybe hours, or even days as he continues to observe your face, committing each and every detail to his memory. And when your breathing steadies, falling into deep slumber, he finally has the courage to whisper the words against your hair.

“I love you.”

#astarion ancunin #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate astarion #bg3 astarion #light angst #angst with a happy ending #fluff #comfort #bg3 x reader #bg3 x tav #astarion

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f1byjessie · 3 months

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A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part six.

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yourusername manchester nights

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garrettward luxury.

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user AIN’T NO WAY HE FINALLY POSTED HER

user girlies i hate to say it, but maybe this one’s actually serious… 🫢

↳ user i refuse to believe it…

↳ user he’s literally never posted another girl before tho??

user king of aesthetics

user i can’t believe he’s actually dating her

user what does he actually see in her?? like gen what is it cuz i cannot see it from here 😒😒😒

user she’s just using you for your clout garrett DON’T FALL FOR IT 😫 SHE’S NOT THE ONE THERE ARE BETTER FISH IN THE SEA

↳ user she’s fr just using him for the money and fame it’s so sad

↳ user right?? like he’s posting her which means he’s probably serious but i doubt she is and it’s just gonna hurt him in the end 😔

↳ user this is why i hate when celebs or athletes get with ppl who aren’t in the same sphere as them, cuz like if she were another celeb then we would know she has money or if she were actually a football fan then we would know she’s invested in helping him get better but she’s neither 🤷‍♀️

↳ user it hurts to see such an innocent man get used

user wait she’s actually kind of pretty tho 👀👀

↳ user she lowkey is

user can’t wait to see you back on the field soon garrett!!

user mad style bro

user came over from y/n’s account to say that you fans are exhibiting behaviour that is genuinely so immature and disrespectful. it’s sickening. you claim to support this athlete but you don’t support his decision to enter an exclusive relationship with someone? you say it’s bc she doesn’t know football or that she’s controlling or that she’ll ruin his career, but you know nothing about her and i’d bet you all would say the same thing about anyone. she could be a professional footballer herself and you would still say she isn’t fit to be with him. get over yourselves and bffr. none of you had a chance with him to begin with, and you hating on an innocent girl so much that she had to turn her comments off so she wouldn’t keep getting death threats is actually crazy. you all are delusional.

↳ user THIS. i’m so tired of the hatred

↳ user i’m honestly surprised garrett hasn’t said anything to his fans about them leaving her alone yet…

↳ user he probably thought GROWN ADULTS would know it’s inappropriate to act like BABIES but i digress 🙄

↳ user whether he thought they were mature enough or not, the fact that he probably knew it was happening (she’s his gf, there’s no way she didn’t tell him or he didn’t see the comments himself before she turned them off) and still hasn’t said anything is a major red flag imo. he’s posted her/acknowledged that she exists on his acc now, but he STILL hasn’t addressed the hatred his “fans” have been sending her and continue to direct towards her in the comments of his own post.

↳ user i think it’s a out of sight out of mind type situation tbh. if neither of them acknowledge them, then the haters aren’t given the attention they want. they might just be waiting for it to die down.

↳ user i don’t think that’s a good enough reason tho?? if i was a celeb and my significant other was being harassed by jealous and delusional fans, i would absolutely say smth and try to get them to stop, partly bc my s/o doesn’t deserve to be spoken about like that just bc they’re in a relationship with me and partly bc i personally wouldn’t want to see that type of negativity directed towards the person i care about. it’s a matter of respect for your partner.

“I’ll be honest with you, Garrett━ I don’t like you very much.”

The restaurant table you’re both sitting at is tucked away in a corner and gives you enough privacy to feel comfortable having this conversation with Garrett out in public. The restaurant itself is exclusive in its own right, similarly to the first place Garrett took you. It’s not as high class in the sense that you feel underdressed with business casual, but it’s the type of locale that other celebrities or higher class individuals tend to frequent and it makes you feel secure in the fact that the staff are trained to be discreet about anything they might overhear.

“But,” you shrug, “I don’t think you need me to tell you that.”

Garrett takes a slow sip from his coffee and raises an eyebrow at you over the rim of his cup. While he does so, you appraise him. The only other time you’ve seen him in something other than his training attire or some equally comfortable athletic-adjacent wear was the first night you both went out, and you hadn’t really been paying much attention to him then━ too focused on trying not to scream your head off in frustration.

He looks good though, which you’re loath to admit. Garrett, at the very least, has fashion sense if nothing else. If he were even half decent his style might’ve been enough to make up for the rest of the decency he’s missing, but as it stands he’s so far below the bar that his ability to dress nice only serves to get him within jumping distance of your lowest standards.

He lowers his cup back down the table with a faint clink, and then steeples his fingers together on the table.

“Quite frankly, Y/N━” the way your name sounds on his lips makes you shiver, but not at all in the way it’s described in the romance novels you used to read back in school. It’s like the human equivalent of your hackles rising, sensing danger, knowing you need to make yourself bigger to appear like more of a threat, “━I don’t really care what you think of me. This is more of a business transaction than an actual relationship. You don’t need to like me, you just need to pretend you do.”

He ends it with what would be a charming smile on anyone else, but knowing who he is beneath his charismatic facade makes it look sleazy.

You scoff. “For a guy who’s so desperate to fix his reputation, you sure aren’t doing anything to actually try and fix who you are as a person.”

It’s his turn to scoff. “I don’t actually need to be a better person, I just need everyone to think I’m a better person.”

“Fair enough.” You can’t argue with that. “But if I’m going to be spending a prolonged amount of time with you, you’re gonna have to at least pretend to not be a total dick.” You take a sip of your coffee.

He watches you for a moment━ observes your face, your hands, the way you tap your fingers against the table once your cup has been lowered. And you watch him right back. His steepled fingers have intertwined together, and he’s resting his chin atop them in a show of nonchalance, but his eyebrows are furrowed tight and his shoulders are pulled tense.

“What do you even want out of this?” He finally asks after another few seconds of silence broken only by the quiet drone of other restaurant patrons in the background. “What’s so important to you that it matters more than whatever notoriety being with me could give you?”

The Manchester skyline outside the window draws your gaze as you ponder how to go about explaining your answer. The storm-darkened sky casts the city streets below in a heavy shadow, which mimics your own mood as of late. It’s the weekend now, but Lando’s call and the things he’d drunkenly said still looms over you. You’d spent the week in a bad mood that not even your newfound friendship with Jack was capable of easing, and each day with continued radio silence on Lando’s end━ the fact that he can’t even bother to apologize himself━ only sours things more and more.

It had soured even more when McLaren’s PR team manager had reached out to you with the knowledge that you could plan on being back at the Technology Centre in Woking by the end of the month, in just under two weeks. In and of itself this hadn’t been bad news, but it meant seeing Lando again and unless he reaches out first to extend an olive branch, you could almost guarantee you’d be in for an uncomfortably awkward reunion.

But none of that matters right now.

“I’ll admit, I’m taking a page out of your book and being a prick,” you say as you turn back to Garrett. “But, in my case, it’s entirely warranted because he was a prick first.”

“What’d this guy do?”

In an odd turn of events, it feels as though you’re gossiping with Garrett Ward of all people. Without the context of your relationship with him━ the real one, not the one you’re pretending to have━ you imagine you probably look like two friends talking shit, or pretty close to the couple you’re supposed to be. Despite being such a twat normally, Garrett really does just come across as being a normal guy.

You have to remind yourself just what he threatened to do. He’s not a normal guy━ he’s dangerous. But he’s also a crucial part of your plan, and there was certainly some truth when he’d called things between you a business transaction. You don’t have to like him, but you have to trust that he’s got his own best interest in mind and you can certainly capitalize off of that.

“He had some choice words about our ‘relationship,’” you start, fiddling with the handle of your cup. “And even though we aren’t actually together and I probably wouldn’t touch you even if we were the last two people on Earth, it’s the principle behind it all. He has no right to judge me so harshly for my relationship choices, so I’m going to flaunt that I don’t care what he thinks, he’s not my keeper, and I will date whoever I damn well please,” you finish with a huff.

Garrett blinks at you. You’re starting to think he just has a staring problem, but before you can call him out on it he rolls his eyes, crosses his arms, and leans back in his seat━ looking the part of the smug douche he actually is. “You like this guy, and you want to use me to make him jealous because you’re pissed that he hasn’t given any hint at being interested in you but still feels as though as if he can be possessive over you.”

You blink at him. “No. Absolutely not.”

He raises an infuriating eyebrow.

“Fuck you,” you mutter into your cup, taking a sip to avoid having to say anything more.

Garrett heaves a sigh. “I suppose I could help you with that. We’ll be doing the couple shit anyways, might as well kill two birds with one stone and solve your problem and mine.” The way he says it makes it seem as though he’s doing you a favor, and if you weren’t so sure that he’d rescind his willingness to help if you argued with him, you’d call him out on the fact that technically he’s the one who owes you after you agreed to help him with his dilemma in the first place.

“Why not just be honest with him?” He says after another moment.

You snap your eyes back to him. “What?”

“Why not just be honest?” He repeats with a shrug. “Aren’t you worried he’ll lose eventually lose interest if he thinks you’re off the market?”

You scoff, “I’m not off the market. I’m just not available to the public.” You’d sat awake at night not long after things with Garrett began and realized that it really was all just an act. Actors kiss in front of a camera all the time, but at the end of the day they go home to their real partners and that’s the only person that really matters. Things aren’t all that different between you and Garrett. You call yourselves a couple, but side from the agreement that you’ll act like one in public, there’s no obligation or commitment to put one another first. Garrett will always prioritize his career, reputation, and friendships over you, and you’re rather inclined to do the same.

He purses his lips.

“Oh please,” you roll your eyes. “As if you expect me to believe you aren’t still planning to pick up a few birdies at the pub and show them a fun time.”

“My situation is different than yours. I’m the one trying to convince the media I’ve changed, which means I need someone who can be discreet, and a birdie from the pub certainly isn’t that.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Not getting laid for a few months is just a sacrifice I have to make to keep my place at Man City.”

You don’t mention that no matter what he does to try and clean up his act, Manchester City won’t be keeping him around after his contract expires. He wouldn’t believe you anyway, but even if he did you doubt he’d be all that willing to continue with this facade.

“More fun for me then,” you say instead, returning the smug smirk he’d given you earlier.

He glares.

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footballfansofficial UPDATE: Manchester City Forward Garrett Ward once again seen out in public with girlfriend and Formula One photographer Y/N L/N! The couple were caught sharing a romantic evening for the first time on the 5th of January, and have once again been spotted Saturday, the 20th, following Ward and L/N’s public posts on social media platform, Instagram. Ward has reportedly been making progress with his injury recovery, and is speculated to be rejoining the team on the pitch in February if all continues to go well. As the 2024 Formula One season draws nearer, it’s also expected that L/N will be returning to her McLaren roots, after working with Manchester City to photograph their winter training, which leaves fans wondering how their relationship will fare. Check the link in our bio for the full article!

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user i’m starting to warm up to the idea of them as a couple… 👀👀👀

user I WAS SO CONVINCED SHE WAS WITH LANDO NORRIS??? WERE THEY NOT EVER TOGETHER??? 🤯

↳ user i don’t think they were which is super shocking bc she posts him all the time on insta

↳ user i mean?? that’s technically her job?? as a photographer for mclaren she takes and posts pictures of the mclaren drivers. if you scroll across her feed she also has a lot of oscar from 2023, and carlos and daniel from their years with the team. she’s been working with manchester city recently too and has been posting the players as well. it’s just that she’s worked with lando the longest consecutively so ofc her account is gonna have him posted more than the others

↳ user LET ME BE DELUSIONAL I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE SO CUTE 😭😭

user i really wish garrett would actually focus on his career instead of dating women bro’s contract ends at the end of the season and he doesn’t even seem bothered

user MAN CITY RE-SIGN GARRETT WARD 2024 🩵🩵🩵

user i hope the long distance makes them break up

↳ user me toooooo that bitch needs to get away from my man

↳ user he’s too good for her

↳ user be so fucking fr, she’s never had a scandal in her entire career but garrett ward has had dozens in just the past few years. if anyone is too good, it’s her 🙄

user MCLAREN WCC 2024 🧡🏁 AND MAN CITY TREBLE WINNERS 2024 🩵⚽️

user don’t hate me but i totally thought garrett ward was gay

↳ user ah, yes, most notorious casanova, known for his many nightly escapades with women, that’s 100% proof that he’s gay

↳ user idk that was just the vibe i got

↳ user be so fucking fr 💀💀

user will city even want to re-sign him after the season is up?? he’s been on loan for the majority of his contract anyway, playing in the championship of all things, and now he’s back but he’s missed a majority of the season cuz of an injury. i personally don’t think garrett ward stands a chance against the current starting forwards, so even when he’s recovered who’s to say he’ll play in any matches?? just seems like a waste for city to keep him around if he isn’t even being used

user if ward is actually cleaning up his act then good for him

↳ user real. all these ppl acting like she's suddenly changing him into a whole new person against his will, but none of them have stopped to think that maybe he WANTS to change.

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry @sideboobrry11 @d3kstar @mcmuppet @happylittlereader @casperlikej @5starl1ght @bellezaycafe @whentheautumnleavesfall @mess-is-my-aesthetic @ssprayberrythings @landosgirlxoxo @lifelessfan @81ja

━━ a/n: i did it! got this part done so much faster AND i didn't wanna rage while i did it 😌 feeling pretty proud of myself for that. anyways! hope you all enjoy!

#formula 1 #formula one #f1 #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #formula one imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #social media au #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #ln4 #oscar piastri

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quiltedgold · 2 years

Text

baby blues - jimmy mcgill

pairing: jimmy mcgill x f!reader

genre: smut. 18+ please

wc: 2.9k

contains: unprotected sex (ALWAYS WRAPPIT BEFORE YA TAPPIT KIDS), age gap (early/mid20s reader), use of pet names “sugar”, “kid”, and “sweetheart”, hint of sub!jimmy if ya squint but both him and reader are switchy tbh, gratuitous eye description because gahdayum bob odenkirk’s eyes are MESMERIZING, ya that’s p much it

notes: back from the dead to share my silly lawyer smutfic with the world. haven’t finished bcs yet, so this takes place early s1! don’t take this too seriously because i didn’t either :) more ppl gotta get crackin on the jimmy fic train tho bc there’s a sad lack of content. anyway enjoy!

The first thing you noticed about Jimmy McGill were his eyes. Entrancingly blue, fringed with dark, delicate lashes. They drooped slightly at the outer corners, giving him that sad-puppy look. Even through the TV screen and newspaper article, his eyes stood out.

His other features weren’t too hard on your eyes either: that cutely crooked mouth that moved a mile a minute when it wasn’t screwed up in thought, a nice strong nose, neat hairstyle with a stubborn cowlick that you noticed him brushing aside out of habit. And of course, the gentle lines of his face, mouth, and under his eyes that only added to the basset-hound look he had going.

You weren’t sure it was him at first–the hero you’d seen on TV, a lawyer who scaled a billboard to rescue a worker in danger. The paper had gotten a kick out of his heroic stunt and you’d seen his face on the front page the very next day. Yet here he was now, across the bar, alone and nursing a drink, and the similarities were undeniable. This definitely was Jimmy McGill.

And gee, was he handsome. Normally you’d end it there; text your friends with an omg you guys guess who i saw at the bar?? and move on, but you already had a few drinks coursing through your system, were a few stale weeks out of a breakup, and ready to try something new.

You grabbed your purse and scooted off the barstool, adjusting your skirt and checking your top before strolling over to where he was sitting.

“Hi, this seat taken?”

Jimmy started upon hearing your voice, shaken out of whatever trance he’d been in, and blinked a few times. Your heart skipped upon having those eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes trained on your own. “Huh? Oh. No, no. Be my guest,” he gestured at the empty seat.

You thanked him and slid on to it, signaling the bartender over.

“I’ll take a martini, please.”

“That can go on my tab–thanks,” Jimmy said to the bartender.

“Oh, thanks! You didn’t have to.” You flashed your most charming smile at him, and he perked up a little. Always worked.

“My pleasure. I gotta say, though, you look a little young to be at a bar.”

You wave his implication away with a roll of your eyes. “I’m legal, I promise. Just young for my age, that’s all.”

“Hm,” he smiled. “Alright, miss…?” You supplied your name in response, and he repeated it. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

“You might laugh at me for this, I’m sure you get it all the time…” you tucked a hair behind your ear, glancing at your shoes demurely. “I thought I recognized you from that news story. Jimmy McGill, right?”

Jimmy illuminated. “That’s me, alright! Though I gotta admit, the hero stuff is more of a part-time gig,” he said with a wink. “My day job is law.”

“Law, huh?” You knew this. You’d already looked him up. Still, you pretended to be surprised and a little impressed. “Wow. What would I have to do to get you as my lawyer?”

He chuckled, face a little pink, either from the alcohol he’d already consumed or your shameless flirt. “Just don’t go falling off any billboards.”

“That’s probably a good start,” you said.

Your drink arrived, and then your second and third as the two of you continued your conversation. Jimmy was sweet–a charmer, but you sensed there was a lot that was genuine about the way he listened to you speak and avoided flicking his gaze down to your cleavage, despite how much you wanted him to. As heat collected in your stomach from the alcohol and your growing attraction to him, you stopped listening to the anecdotes he supplied and began paying more attention to his hands, the ring on his pinky, the way he placed one hand on your knee and began rubbing his thumb lightly on your bare skin, how the pads of his fingers were just slightly rough and how nice his touch felt, how his soft blue eyes bored into yours.

Eventually, you reached your limit.

“How would you feel about getting out of here?” you interrupted, voice low and suggestive.

With no hesitation, he replied. “Best idea I’ve heard all day.”

Before you knew it, the two of you tumbled out of a taxi and through the door of Day Spa and Nail (weird place to live, but hey, who were you to judge?). Jimmy locked the door behind the two of you and then stopped rather awkwardly in the lobby, dragged out of his inebriated haze by his surroundings. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the back area and the curtain of fairy lights decorating the door. It was cozy, but he seemed more embarrassed by it than anything.

You sensed this change immediately and approached him to rectify it, backing him slowly against the glass front of the store.

“Do you bring girls here a lot?” you said, one hand toying with the collar of his dress shirt.

“Can’t say that I do,” he chuckled sheepishly. “Couldn’t tell ya why. Maybe it’s the decor.”

“I, for one, like the open floor plan,” you hummed, sliding your hand down to his tie, playing with the tail of it. “Don’t mind the full length window, either.”

Jimmy swallowed. “We can always head to the back, if you want. This is a little public.”

“You know what?” you said, tilting your head. “I kind of like it that way.”

Gripping the knot of Jimmy’s tie, you tugged, leading his face down to your level, and captured his lips in your own. He groaned, melting into the kiss and bringing his own hands up to cradle your head, knotting his fingers in your hair.

The sound sent shivers down your spine and you opened your own mouth a little wider, returning his pleased noises with a few of your own.

Jimmy, without breaking the kiss, spun you so that you were the one backed against the glass. He pressed his body into yours, deepening the kiss and caressing your jaw with deft fingers.

“Shit, kid,” he huffed in between kisses. “Definitely wasn’t expecting this to be how I ended out the night.”

“From the moment I noticed you across the bar, this is how I wanted it to,” you returned lowly, pressing an open-mouthed kiss below his ear.

“Ah, geez,” he said (if you didn’t know any better, you’d say whimpered), breaking away to hold your face in his hands and examine your blown-out eyes. “Look, not like I’m complaining or anything, but why me? Why not someone your own age? I mean, you’re so gorgeous, you could get anyone you wanted, honest.”

“I’ve never much been into guys my age,” you admitted. “Not daddy issues or anything like that, just… older men are more attractive to me, that’s all. And bonus points if they’re famous.”

“Famous,” Jimmy repeated. “Don’t say that, it’ll go straight to my head.”

“Good,” you said, carding a hand through his hair with an experimental tug at the roots. “That’s where I want it to go.”

Jimmy keened, diving back in for another kiss. Meanwhile, you were at the perfect vantage point to observe the salon, and it caused another idea to blossom.

“Any desire for a massage?” you asked, and steered him over to the row of chairs. “We don’t have to pay for these, right?”

“No, no. But why…?” he asked, squinting.

“Sit down. I’ll show you,” you instructed.

He obeyed without further question, loosening his tie and situating himself in one of the plush seats. You grabbed a remote and quickly figured out the controls, setting his chair at a low setting, then set it aside.

He watched you curiously, waiting for your next move. Flicking your eyes towards his crotch, you couldn’t help but notice the tautly stretched fabric. You licked your lips.

As smoothly as possible, you slipped off your shoes and climbed into his lap, straddling his form with one of your legs on either side. You watched his face as you positioned your core right over his crotch, wiggling a little for good measure, and he gasped.

“Ah, shit, kid…” he groaned, hardness pressing up against you. “Sorry, lemme adjust myself–”

You grabbed the hand he’d moved downwards to shift his erection by the wrist and brought it up to your mouth.

Slowly, slowly, you slipped his pointer finger into your mouth, lathing over the callused skin with your tongue and teeth. He moaned at the sensation as you added another finger, then three.

To be frank, his erection’s throbbing presence against your clothed heat was making it near impossible to focus on the task at hand.

You removed his hand from your mouth and pressed yourself against his chest, laying a feather light hand against his jaw and whispering, “I want you to fuck me, Jimmy McGill.”

“Jesus, kid,” he hissed. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

The two of you scrambled to undo his pants and shift his boxers aside to free his dick, your panties not far behind. You didn’t even bother to shuck your skirt off, instead allowing his large hands to shimmy it up to your waist, squeezing at the softness there with a whimper.

“Wait, wait a sec, do you have a…” He palmed his forehead, flushed pink and sweaty.

You hovered over his rock-hard erection, teasing the tip of him at your entrance. “I’m safe. I’d rather you fuck me raw. Is that okay with you?”

“Is that okay? Jesus, what a question. Yes, absolutely, just please, please, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something so badly in my life,” Jimmy begged, hands falling to your thighs and squeezing hard, resisting the urge to buck upwards into you.

You paused a moment before committing, drinking in the sight beneath you. Jimmy McGill, looking positively debauched. Unkempt hair, cheeks the color of cherries, a light sheen of sweat shining in the warm ambient lighting. His eyes were the definition of puppy-dog, the sweetest blue you’d ever seen, swimming with want, eyelashes fanned across his lids as he blinked heavily. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, and almost without thinking, you dipped your fingers inside and trailed them down the light hair on his chest. He sucked in a shuddery breath.

“One more time?” you asked. Jimmy understood.

“Please,” he croaked.

You plunged your hips down, fully sheathing his length within you. The sensation sent sparks across your eyesight and you cried out, squeezing yourself around him. Jimmy reacted in kind, throwing his head back with a whine and jerking his hips upward to attempt to bury himself deeper. The two of you began to search for a rhythm, him canting upward with an arm wrapped firmly around your waist, you grinding in circular downward motions in return.

It didn’t take long to align, the two of you quickly establishing a steady rhythm to follow, listening closely for the other’s pleased moans and adjusting movements to allow for more of them to spill out.

You clutched Jimmy’s arms, his chest, carded your fingers through his hair, splayed your hands on his stomach for balance. He palmed your breasts, your ass, your thighs, each touch sending electricity straight to your core, but his hands always seemed to migrate back to your waist, which he gripped firmly and used to guide your movements, an action you were grateful for somewhere deep in your lust-addled mind.

You also quickly learned that he was a vocal partner, which made sense knowing his personality and profession. He let his mouth run, moaning about how good you were for him, how pretty, how much he needed this. At one point you could have sworn you heard him hiss “That’s my girl,” and you nearly came right then and there.

Soon, his movements began to speed up, thrusts becoming messier, and you knew he was near his peak. Truth be told, you were surprised he’d lasted this long at his age, but you certainly weren’t complaining.

Clutching your flanks, he pushed himself up to press against your chest and you wrapped your arms around him, twisting your fingers into the back of his dress shirt.

“Sweetheart, I’m close,” he huffed. “Where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you answered without hesitation. “Please, please, inside.”

Jimmy choked out a laugh. “Don’t have to convince me, sugar.”

Upon hearing the pet name, you clenched your walls involuntarily and whimpered.

“C’mon, you can’t–can’t do that…” he groaned. “Ya like being called sugar, huh?”

You couldn’t summon up a reply, nearing your own climax.

Jimmy, seeming to sense your proximity, snaked a hand down to your cunt and quickly located your clit, rubbing in small circles with the callused pad of his thumb to match the speed of his thrusts.

His touch sent a jolt up your spine and you squealed, to which he let out a hoarse chuckle in your ear. “Feels good?”

“Fuck, Jimmy, yeah. Please, please, I’m close…”

“Me too, kid. Just… a little… more…”

He increased the intensity of his ministrations on your clit, sending fresh waves of pleasure through your body, sending you soaring over the precipice of an orgasm. Tremors rached your body, radiating outward from the source of your pleasure, where Jimmy was still circling his thumb. You cried out a string of expletives, sagging against him when the pleasure started to seep out of your system.

Jimmy wasn’t far behind. A few more thrusts and he was coming, clutching your waist in a bruising grip as his seed flooded your insides. He released a shuddering breath and let his forehead fall against your shoulder, collapsing back into the still-undulating massage chair. Your ragdoll form fell with him. The two of you caught your breath in silence, listening to the slowing beats from within each other’s chests, slowly descending from your intense highs.

Slowly, you lifted yourself from his hips, his length slipping out of you followed by globules of white, collecting in little puddles on his soft stomach. You stared at his juices for a moment, then experimentally swiped a finger across them and stuck it in your mouth, sucking to evaluate the flavor.

Salty, bitter. Run of the mill. Except, his had a hint of sweetness, an aftertaste that bloomed after a few moments in your mouth. Interesting.

Your gaze raised, and you realized he’d looked up from your shoulder. His eyes were trained firmly on the finger in your mouth, and his pupils were blown as wide as the sun.

“Jesus, where have you been all my life,” he wondered aloud, then screwed his face up in that cute way you’d observed earlier at the bar, his mouth disappearing into a crooked line. “Nevermind. Don’t answer that.”

You giggled tiredly, grabbing a towel from a nearby table to wipe up the cooling cum on his skin, then collected it from your own leaking hole.

He smiled lazily, twirling a strand of your hair between his fingers. “If I were twenty years younger and in shape, I would suggest we go another round.”

You set the rag aside and pressed a kiss to his lips, sweet and lingering. He leaned into it, corners of his lips turning up against yours.

“I would have to agree,” you said, pulling away and trailing a hand across his jaw. He gazed up at you with those hooded blue eyes, gentle adoration practically radiating. “But I’d like to get cleaned up. I don’t want this salon looking like a crime scene when the ladies come back in tomorrow.”

Jimmy clucked his tongue. “You’re right. Bathroom’s down the hall on the right.”

You reluctantly hauled yourself off his chest and headed to the bathroom, legs sore from the intense upwards-downwards movement you’d sustained for the past fifteen minutes.

When you returned, Jimmy was finished tidying up the salon and waiting awkwardly outside the door to his room slash office. He wiggled a pile of clothes he had clutched in one hand.

“Change of clothes, ah, if you want them. You don’t have to stay, of course, I can call a taxi, or go back to the bar and get my car–”

“I’d like to stay,” you replied, taking the clothes from him with a peck. “Thank you.”

Snug in the law firm t-shirt and worn sweatpants he’d lent you, you watched as he set up his room’s nighttime configuration, tittering in amusement at the soft curses he let out when the futon mattress got stuck on the frame. Once he’d set the bed up, fretting abundantly about which side would be more comfortable and which pillow you might prefer, the two of you crawled in and you slotted yourself against his side, resting a hand on his broad chest.

From this position, you could peer up at him and meet his pretty blue eyes, and he could see you staring.

“See something you like, kid?” he yukked, half asleep.

“Mmhm,” you said. “Your eyes. I’ve been looking at them all night. They’re beautiful.”

Taken aback, Jimmy blushed. “Can’t tell you I’ve heard that before. Maybe it’s why I get all the ladies.”

“It’s how you got this lady,” you teased.

“What, that wasn’t my incessant charm or stunning fashion sense?”

“No, but that might have been a small part. The eyes were most of it,” you said, drawling the ends of your sentences as your brain urged you into drowsiness.

“Hm. Good to know,” Jimmy conceded, and the two of you fell into a sleepy lull.

You heard his heartbeat slow, pumping steadily against his chest, and the sound drifted you safely into contented oblivion.

#better call saul #bcs #jimmy mcgill #jimmy mcgill x reader #saul goodman #saul goodman x reader #bcs fanfic

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golbrocklovely · 2 months

Text

sometimes i have to sit back and wonder... what are we doing here, as a fandom? like is all of this really worth it?

the absolute vitriol i've seen thrown around for snc since they started dating k and m is incredibly depressing. especially towards colby. it is DISGUSTING what some of yall (hi twitter ppl that stalk my account 👋) say about him and about m. and same thing goes for sam and k.

you claim up and down "oh i have a right to say what i want, it's just an opinion." no, you actually don't have a right to say whatever you want, and especially without ppl calling you out. but then you have the fucking nerve to ask why snc don't talk to us, why they don't post as often, why they aren't around as much as they once were. idk, maybe it's bc you guys are appalling pieces of shit that say the most idiotic and degrading things and then somehow expect those same ppl you make fun of day in and day out to want to talk to you.

i don't really understand your thought process and i pray i never do. bc if i'm that down bad, i would be the most miserable person on the planet, just like you are.

bc i'm telling you right fucking now, there is not a SINGLE thing snc or those girls have done to warrant this behavior. none of what yall are doing is right or justified. you are deplorable, inexcusable cunts who should have been called out well before now. the nicest thing i can do for you is block you, instead of making a long list of every terrible, miserable, shitty person in this fandom and calling each of you out personally.

let me tell you one thing: there are a lot worst things in life than being a girl with fake tits, lip filler, and an onlyfans account. there's a lot worst things in life than a guy that broke up with his long time gf. there is a lot worst things in life than being someone who has consensual sex with willing partners multiple times in his life. and there is a lot worst things than being kinda childish, into spongebob, and having quasi-clout chasing friends.

and i genuinely have to ask - even tho i know i won't get an answer and i know whatever answers i do get aren't reasonable enough - what about seeing snc happy makes you angry? what about seeing them in relationships makes you think "i need to complain about that" or "i don't like that"? why does seeing snc happy upset you? what does that say about you? bc you claim you love them and want what's best... but clearly you don't. bc why isn't happiness the best for them? why do you think you know better?

seriously. consider taking a second to step back and think "why does seeing snc happy make me upset?" how deeply insecure do you have to be to truly feel that? it's sad, really. bc this should be a fun time in this fandom. but i have never felt more embarrassed to be a part of it than i do right now.

some of you are full grown adults too! well beyond the years of "i just didn't know any better". what a sad, little life you must have lived all this time to think that this type of behavior is valid and acceptable. it's a shame.

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #personal #text #sg ll #cb ll #ask #i mean this wholeheartedly. i'm so disappointed.

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eclaire-went-bam · 5 days

Note

Hi I had a few questions about the Dutch Van Der Linde NPD post :-)

I'm not trying to be rude or an asshole, I'm just genuinely confused because there seemed to be conflicting things.

You seem to agree that he has NPD but then call folk ableist for calling him a narcissist. Saying they're demonizing personality disorders.

I know and understand why demonizing NPD amongst other personality disorders is bad. But I don't understand why people calling him a Narcissist = demonizing.

Dutch is a terrible person so obviously people would point out his terrible actions along with a possible personality disorder. Because the disorder is a huge part of his character for some folk, which I'm sure it is for you.

I guess what I'm really wondering is what do you classify as ableist when it comes to discussing Dutch and his possible NPD?

The post, or I guess the way things were worded, made it hard for me to see your point.

Thank you :-)

rolling around tysm for the ask /gen!!! i did word things a bit unclear bcs a lot of my posts are catred to ppl in my own community so don't worry :)

i'm also using terminology associated w/ npd in this post so refer to tags if you don't know what something means

it's a bit complicated & i tend to over-explain so strap in !!

acknowledging he is a narcissist is fine! but the term "narcissist" very specifically refers to a mental illness & is a term very often mishandled

the problem lies here!

on one hand, people will know narcissist refers to npd specifically, but they won't care & are thus very explicitly demonising pw/npd. i've seen a great many posts (not just from this fandom!) who will call a character a narcissist, and then will proceed to prescribe that as the reason why a character is a bad person. npd is a personality disorder which yes, can often cause a lot of interpersonal conflict if not properly coped with, but it can also present in numerous other ways (eg, people-pleasing) — people who are abusive don't generally have npd and pw/npd aren't all abusive (many are actually abused themselves! if i had a dime for every article/post i've seen detailing how to make a narcissist crash, i'd be rich lmao). so automatically correlating abusive behaviour w/ having npd is very damaging to pw/npd

or,

on the other hand (this i see Most often), someone doesn't really seem to know that being narcissistic is a mental health thing and are using that word as a stand-in for a plethora of negative words — which is really easy to do given how much it's used incorrectly in a lot of anti-npd short form content (tiktok, yt shorts, etc ...). someone may use the word "narcissistic" when they're trying to describe someone who's self-centred, or rude, or aloof, or vain, or abusive, when they could use any of those other words just as easily while both being correct, and not including that underlying stigma

the vast majority of posts i've seen refer to dutch as a narcissist, are using that word in a derogatory sense to air their frustrations with the character — not as a genuine analysis, and not acknowledging the nuances of npd

it is important to note, many of these people would not call a character who is seen as a good person a narcissist, even if they may exhibit many narcissistic traits in canon, because narcissism already has a really negative stigma attached to it that they would be perpetuating. if dutch did nothing problematic in the entire series, i'd still headcanon him as narcissistic, but i get the sense that many just wouldn't because it hinges so much on the worst of his character

an egotypical may see dutch being simply careless with anyone but his own skin as he drags everyone down with him and call him a narcissist

whereas for me, i may see him desperately trying to appear as the greater-than-life man everyone talks him up to be to the point of delusion and self-sabotaging while everything is falling apart around him and call him a narcissist because yea, me too honestly !!

the first position is often tying narcissism to a shallow and overwhelming negative view of a character, because one may already have a bias that narcissism = living your best life as your family falls apart or something

so imagine like ;;; an allistic seeing a blunt character that is often viewed in fandom as autistic, and calling them autistic because of the outward bluntness — especially if they view bluntness as a bad thing. this view may perpetuate stereotypes about autism while also not really offering any nuanced look at the character. that, vs an autistic person seeing the same character and maybe relating to how confusing that social interaction was, and how awkward it must must've been for the character realising they did x y and z "wrong."

using the same example, there could be a character in media that's considered extremely blunt and mean to others, who's implied to be autistic. it's fine to not like said character, lord knows i'm thinking of a Few i hate, and being autistic doesn't excuse people from being mean to others, but to insult a character for being blunt because of their autism is pretty ableist! just like how having npd doesn't excuse any characters abuse, and someone can not like their vanity, but it'd be kind of ableist to insult a character for being vain because of their narcissism

or just like how an autistic character may unintentionally be mean to somebody due to misunderstanding social cues/being overstimulated/etc and will thus be percieved as cold and unkindly, a narcissistic person may percieve small criticisms as really pointed attacks that can cause crashes, which can cause us to become defensive & be percieved as childish or uncooperative (here's a good post that talks abt how certain problems may appear from a narcs pov, for example). these are just little things that oftentimes people who don't have said condition may not understand, which can contribute to a really flat reading of a character based on More Stereotypes

of course, you don't have to have a specified neurotype or mental disorder to headcanon someone with something (though i definitely recommend the Nuance ahaha), but i get the sense that when ppl use "narcissistic" with dutch, it's less of a respectful headcanon that acknowledges the disorder & how distressing it can be to not only others around him, but him as well, and more as a jab coming from the users own personal experiences from people they didn't like, or as a way to explain specifically just his abusive behaviour & nothing else (which is already a yikes cus that implies someone's automatic association with abuse is people of a very specific stigmatised neurotype). and i mean hey, dutch does deserve. Like. Multiple Jabs. (understatement). but it shouldn't be at the expense of people who actually exist irl who struggle w/npd

no i do not excuse dutch's problematic/abusive behaviour, i literally physically recoil from my screen whenever i see him do literally anything, and it's pretty evident that untreated Issues™ definitely contributed to him going batshit (especially considering as far as every account i've seen go, he was pretty damn Decent in terms of 1800's outlaws prior to blackwater), but i can definitely say that i do rlly relate with some overarching themes with him & can often pretty much hear what he's thinking sometimes without necessarily thinking something he did was okay. & again, there are sooo many words in the english lexicon, people can definitely choose words that aren't specifically related to conditions when talking abt what they don't like about him

so many other headcanons, whether it be regarding race, gender, sexuality, neurodiversity, etc, are treated with a lotta respect on this website! you'll hardly ever find someone seriously insulting a character's headcanoned autism, or gender identity, or anxiety, with such genuine vitriol. i've seen people also headcanon dutch with major depression or bipolar, but i've seen nobody use either terms to insult him — because we all know that's insensitive. so why should npd be any different?

so yeah i hope this made it clear, i don't think its wrong or ableist at all to to have discussions about how a potential personality disorder could've affected his thinking or decisions, but a lot of the posts i've seen have been less about discussion and more of just finding ways to express their hatred of dutch. which ;; i'm sure you can imagine how tiring it gets to see these kinda posts which demonise something you are, in a community for a game you really enjoy, and just have everyone in the comments/tags kinda nod their head. nnnot fun to always catch strays ^^;

anyways that's my spiel tysm for the ask i really like to Yap™

#long post #tw abuse #suicide mention in tags !#ask #rdr #rdr2 #dutch van der linde #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster b #terminology:#narcissist crash — when a pw/npd becomes unable to sustain an ego (often due to lack of supply/failures/humiliating events) & enter a sever #depression which can even result in suicide attempts #supply — anything that can uphold a narcs self-perception. many of us require supply in order to function. this can be attention/compliment #/rewards/etc #pw/npd — people with narcissistic personality disorder #allistic — someone who's not autistic #egotypical — someone who doesn't have npd #i tried using colours to make it easy to read ?? the grens and pinks don't rlly have a specific meaning though

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yonpote · 3 months

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On the topic of “more than just romantic” like I love that line so much and it resonates with me so much as a probably aro-spec person like. Years ago I was watching a tv show and there were two characters who were best friends and like actual soulmate type thing just like dnp where they just are the person that understands and relates to them the most and then the boy confesses that he’s in love with the girl after she says “you’re my best friend in the world” by responding “but you’re more than that to me” and that made me so mad because what do you MEAN you think romantic love is more important than platonic after being non romantic life partners for like fifteen years. I’ve always thought that that line in BIG was referencing the idea that yeah whatever they romantically love each other but that’s not the most important part of their relationship and why is that all that people want to focus on why isn’t it also important that they love each other in all these other ways too it truly didn’t even cross my mind that people would interpret that as like “super romance” ?????

YEAH LITERALLY SAME i was like genuinely confused as to how ppl interpretted that? like how everyone saw on that dan interview quote and only focused on him saying "husbands" when the whole point of the full quote was, we're whatever the fuck you wanna call us either way we're in this shit together and we're grateful to be where we are

"BUT DAN SAID HUSBANDS 😍😍😍😍"

dont get it twisted seeing them say husbands and dads and all the references to them being Basically a couple makes me happy to see too but i do sometimes feel like ppl miss the forest for the trees here

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sweetmariihs2 · 4 months

Text

🪄My thoughts on Cedric The Sorcerer🌙 (until now)

(not that anyone cares idk i just wanna talk about him, it's a lot of random thoughts and it's messy, but it's fun to read I guess)

Did you like that cute moodboard I did for him? It took me like 10 minutes I loved it. It fits him so well I'm so proud of myself for doing this. The whimsigothic aesthetic matches him so well I wish more people knew it so we would have tons of moodboards and cute stuff of him in this aesthetic it would be so nice. Ok let me start my post

I wanna share some headcanons, talk about my first impressions, it's not really organized I just wrote down whatever I remembered and the result was that. I wanna share my new hyperfocus with more people, that's what I'm doing here today :)

Everything started when I saw this man on Tumblr and though "who's this guy and why is princess Sophia next to him?", when I clicked on the hashtag out of curiosity I understood that it's because he's a character from the cartoon, and I was like "lol another tumblr sexyman again let's move on keep doing my things and interacting with my fandoms" (december 24)

I also mentioned it to my friend on IG bc I saw a reels that was like "you don't have any weird fictional crushes right?" and then proceeds to show us an edit of him with millions of hearts around. I sent it to her and said "omg I saw ppl talking about this on tumblr" and we just laughed a lot because it was something we did not expected (not mean laughs, they were genuine laughs of shock and because that was very unexpected like HOW IN THE WORLD, and she remembered him in the show while I didn't)

Some days later I saw more fanarts of him on tumblr and that made me a little curious, but not enough to search about the subject.

After some days I just couldn't forget him, and that's when I searched his name on youtube purposely trying to find compilations of his funny moments to understand what was happening

And boy I did

At this point was just having fun and laughing thinking "omg another guy who's sassy, has good personality and is another ugly-atractive character that has a fandom on tumblr, I got it, he's very nice" and I went to do other stuff again but this man just DIDN'T CAME OUT OF MY MIND

Just making an interruption here, I loved watching Disney Junior as a kid, maybe when I was six or seven, idk I don't remember, and I was a huge fan of Sofia The First, it was one of my favorite cartoons from Disney Jr alongside Doc McStuffins and Art Attack. AND I JUST DON'T REMEMBER CEDRIC IT'S LIKE I NEVER SAW HIM IN THAT SHOW, EVER. I literally don't remember him being part of the cast i'm sorry Cedric 😭 now he stands out so much to me, he's carrying the whole show on his back. Btw now that I mentioned Disney Junior I would like to say that here in Brazil Sofia First is actually called Little Princess Sofia, and Doc McStuffins is Doctor Toys. Sometimes I call Sofia "Princess Sofia" but I don't even know if that's how they call her in the english version, I watched everything on portuguese 😭 but ok let's move on (I have more things to say related to the brazillian dub, but let me finish my train of thought first)

As I was saying this man just didn't came out of my mind, and I was like "Oh no another hyperfocus where people around me will make fun of me because they will say that he's ugly and that liking kid's shows is something weird 😭 I can't take this anymore" and I tried to deny it but I CAN'T i'm almost making a pinterest board for him, I just accepted my fate (gonna draw fanarts soon and no one can stop me)

I found a list of every chapter he's in and i'm watching every. single. one. of. them. I watched the movie first, and boy this is gave me so much nostalgia because I remember some vague objects and scenes from when I was a kid, I used to love the Disney Princesses, when I got a little older I started watching Descendants, I grew up watching Tangled and Frozen and I swear to god I almost teared up from nostalgia during the episode Rapunzel shows up, and they didn't changed her voice actor, that's what got me. It was like travelling back to a time I didn't even remembered that existed anymore. Because since I haven't seen Sofia The First in about 10 years, I don't even remember anything FROM the show except for some parts, and that this show had so much old Disney energy that I didn't even know made a difference, but it does.

I'm sounding like a granny here but (i'm not even in my 20s yet) it feels like another time, Disney changed so much. Some of the new movies are good, some are bad, I see Disney much more as a company that wants money and makes movies instead of that perfect place where all dreams come true and every girl is a princess (Here in Brazil I never had a dream to go to Disneyland because Disney in the early 2010's invested more in products and blue ray DVDs in Brazil, since the parks were in the United States and we weren't really the target audience for that. So they didn't minded making publicity about it, so I just watched the movies and Disney Junior). Everything felt more magical when I was a kid, I spent my days watching DVDs and sometimes had some Disney princesses themed toys, it was so fun playing pretend that I was a princess and I really felt like one. Rewatching Sofia The First made me feel like this again because they made this show at the time that their public were HUGE fans of the Disney princesses and it has the same characteristics, plots, even styles of the songs and soundtracks, visuals + I watched it when I was younger. It's not just "princesses" it has the whole Disney girly early 2010's magic into it and it made me so bittersweet, even if they tried they could never do nowdays a movie inspired by that time and give me the same feeling as a REAL movie from that time does. Sofia The First: Once Upon a Time was like watching a new movie from that old Disney, one that I didn't saw before, but at the same time I did, and that's the best part. The end of the movie gave me so much nostalgia that I almost cried too. That experience was amazing :")

It gives me the same nostalgia that I feel when I hear that song "a dream is a wish your heart makesss" it makes me cry how I miss to be a little girl again (i'm crying right now btw i'm very intense with my emotions)

(And hell I don't remember Cedric at all, since when he was there the whole time? Now that I know that he's there I'm feeling like really reeeeaaaaalllyy vague memories are trying to come back in my head, but I don't know if my brain is doing this on purpose or i'm just confusing him with an equally vague memory of Cruella. I guess it's the first option, I'm trying so hard that my brain is making up memories. Weird.)

But yeah at first I saw everyone falling to his feet and even though I understood that he was very funny and had a well-writen personality I couldn't really get why people were romantically in love with him. Well um I actually got it, he was a good character and was one more of these strangely atractive characters that people fall in love with, I've been there too. But I just couldn't see what was so atractive that people were simping over him, for me at that moment he was just funny and fits very well the "let's make a fandom" type of character, like for example Preminger from Barbie Princess and The Pauper. But then I thought "idk what i'm talking about i'm demisexual lol let's wait a few days" (That happened before. Many times.)

And I'm like. I don't know what's happening to me I'm so susceptible to weird (in socially non-fandom people's words) crushes and I thought I wouldn't be afected this time. Just so you can have an idea some of my last crushes were: Dr Flug from Villanos, Jackson Jekyll from Monster High, Victor Frankenstein from Okegom, Raggedy Andy, Mettaton from Undertale (and UnderLust), THE Eddie Munson (for a whole year and some months, and I was so bullied after his "trend" ended because people said that his fans were cringe and everything (that's fake lol they are very nice)), 70% of my list are just nerds and sensitive guys with different types of mental illness yay my fav type

and now I think I'm feeling unironically atracted by this man it's just happening really slowly 😭 (DEMISEXUALS ‼️‼️⁉️⁉️💥💥💥💥💥👊👊👊👊)

I'm gonna be honest with you, at the moment I can't decide if I like him or not I'm so confused at the same time that I get it I also don't like how tf am I atracted by this man 😭 and then I'm like hmm he's acually cute let me search for some fanfiction

I'M SO CONFUSED I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE i guess I'll just wait to see what happens

you guys know that tiktok audio "at first I was like 'hmmm feet' as a joke,,,,, but bro....... I don't think that's a joke anymore...." (that's me rn but with Cedric)

Also I would like to take this oportunity that you're listening to me talking about Cedric to say the most important thing that this fandom needs to know:

We need more Cedric representations in Whimsical/Whimsigoth/Whimsigothic aesthetic it's like it was made for him just search that on Pinterest please you won't regret

And I'm here wondering what kind of songs he would listen to. I think he would like dark fantasy music, or witch music. I don't care if he's on medieval era and people didn't had access to a lot of music genres at that time, we are talking about disney nothing is historically correct

I can't help but think about Lana Del Rey but being a huge fan of her songs I don't think that it matches his tastes. I guess he maybe would like Aurora's last album, The Gods We Can Touch. I don't know why, it's the witchy vibes I guess. But I don't know, it's still not something that matches him a lot. EXCEPT FOR THE SONG MIDAS TOUCH FROM AURORA. IT'S PERFECT FOR HIM YOU GUYS SHOULD CHECK IT OUT

youtube

The cover isn't giving the aesthetic though, Aurora made this song for a show and then put the show album cover unfortunately. But her aesthetics are usually whimsical and magic, inspired by theatre, greek gods and tarot. This song is so good 😭

And of course there are songs like Everything Matters that fits his vibe but idk it depends on who's listening since it's not about the lyrics. The Innocent has a small part who matches him a little, the whole song has that witchy vibe dancing around the fire, I don't know how to describe it.

Coming back to Cedric I think my favorite scenario is him having an apprendice not too much younger than him. I think it's cute. I've never seen any fics like this (in fact I just read like 5 oneshots which is almost nothing) and if you guys know any let me know. I think it's just nice the idea of living with him and being his apprendice while having like a romantic tension between the two characters. It's cute

Also remember when I said I was going to talk a little more about the brazillian portuguese dub? So, something that I thought was really funny happened to me: In the first season he had his voice actor obviously and I was already used to his voice some time after watching the cartoon. It was very funny to me because the first time I saw a "scene compilation" of him it was in english, so hearing him talk in my language was fun. And btw his voice actor did a really good job voicing him, he (had a similar voice and) was really expressive just like his english VA, so like, really nice 👍

And then at some point in season two, from one episode to another, his voice actor suddently changed????? And obviously I got a little sad because his first VA was really good and I was used to his voice :( but the thing is: The new VA wasn't just a new one, IT'S THE SAME GUY WHO VOICED DR FLUG HERE IN BRAZIL AND I WAS LIKE OMG

THEY ARE SO SIMILAR IN PERSONALITY AND NOW THEY HAVE THE SAME VOICE WITH THE VOICE ACTOR'S MANNEIRISMS AND EVERYTHING (because that VA really has an specific way to talk, he stutter a little, sounds a little ironic but at the time really anxious, make some funny sounds for no reason sometimes like his screams)

I was really upset when they changed all the brazillian voice actors in Villanos, and that Flug didn't had his full-of-personality-and-expressive voice anymore :( the new episodes now have new voices and eveything, and they did their best, but it's not the original voices anymore and it doesn't hit the same yk? And then BAM CELDRIC HAS DOCTOR FLUGS VOICE NOW BITCH TAKE THIS

and the fact that Sofia The First was dubbed even before Villanos came out it's so funny to me

So yeah let me show you guys his amazing work at voicing two of my favorite characters:

youtube

After they changed Cedric's voice actor I was a little annoyed by the fact that I couldn't hear Cedric anymore, just Flug 😭 but now I'm slowly getting used to it and it's starting to sound like Cedric again.

Before that happened I could see some similarities between the two but I thought that I was just thinking too much and trying to connect two fandoms that I like, so I just forgot about it. After that happened my mind just blew it all make so much sense right now

And they are so similar in personality that I had to make a list of everything they have in common:

They work for guys that are completely blind to their talents and think that they're just idiots all the time

They have more potential than people think

Their projects/spells always go wrong because people keep disrupting their public moments, and so they are seen and weak and dumb (when they're not)

Science/Magic guys (they keep throwing liquids from one pot to another and saying difficult words, only for someone to stop them halfway and the substance explodes in their face, making them angry because this person once again interrupted their project that was going perfectly)

Self-confidence issues

Anxious mess, are always nervous and scared of something bad happening all the time

Childhood trauma because people never really saw their acomplishments and again and again kept repeating that they are idiots who don't know nothing (when they are geniuses!!)

They say that they're mean and they say that they do mean things when actually they are just really nice. They just choose that path because they think it's the only one that can bring them sucess and recognition in the future, but they were never made for this. They just do that because they want to proof their value to people who can't see it.

At the same time that they are mentally unstable, sometimes their confidence is so high that they start to act arrogant because "they're too smart and their projects are amazing": "I love what I do I'm the best sorcerer/scientist in the world"

But when they need to show that to people something bad always happens (because of other people!) And their plan fails, leaving them with confidence issues

"I'm too smart you guys don't deserve me"

"I can't do anything right omg i'm so stupid"

Their movements and maneirisms are so expressive, they're both skinny and tall and keep making those anxious poses, fidgeting with their hands, always anxious, scared of something, thinking too much and overall being nervous and ankward around their bosses

Boss just treats them as failures and gives them orders, in which they respond in the most submissive and saddest way because they're just miserable and just two little guys who are trying to proof their value in a place where no one even see them as people

But sometimes they are genuinely egoistic and egocentric because duh they're the best sorcerer/scientist out there, hello everybody is gonna know their name when they rule the world bye

They act so stupid and lovesick in their official crushes episodes, it's so funny

And even if we never saw Dr Flug's official face there is a design out there in the fandom where he has black hair with white streaks on his bangs so like 👍👍

Well um I guess that's all I have to say about this subject for now

These are my thoughts 🫶

I feel like I said a lot in a short amout of time but I'm here writing since 04:30 AM and now it's 07:47 AM so like. yikes

#cedric #cedric sofia the first #cedric the sorcerer #cedric the great #cedric the sensational #dr flug #dr flug villainous #disney #disney princesses #sofia the first #Youtube

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pls-hold-me-im-justa-weeb · 1 year

Text

Training With Zoro P.5 (Eventual Smut) Y/N x Zoro

🍶 wc: 3.2K

NO SMUT YET I'M SORRY BUT I SWEAR IT'LL HAPPEN

P.1 P.2 P.3 P.4

I cut out the part about reader cooking a comfort meal and everyone liking it, which you can read on my AO3 if you're interested :) But briefly, reader needed comfort after thinking it's hopeless with Zoro, so they cooked a comfort meal. Eventually everyone (except Zoro) tried it and liked it, so you told Sanji he should cook it some time. He said no, because it's your recipe and he doesn't want to take that away from you. Just mugiwara family fluff :3 I also want it known I am white af, so in no way shape or form am I BIPOC. Please let me know if I should correct anything. This is simply a reflection of intolerance that is present against different nations in One Piece, no matter the race.

Warnings: reader feeling kinda like they don't belong, perversion (by other ppl) of a cultural dance, reader insecure about body, platonic(ish) bathing with Zoro, mild heatstroke, super sore muscles, taking pain medicine, so exhausted reader is acting drunk.

-----

I’m used to mental pain, so it shouldn’t add that much, right?

The rest of the afternoon and early evening was spent lounging around on the deck, hanging out with Brook. He had both his guitar and violin out, alternating between them as he experimented with melodies. You let the music wash over you, tapping your finger to the beat of the faster songs, and swaying to the slower ones. You closed your eyes, picturing how you would dance to them all, sketching brief choreographies in mind’s eye, basing your movements off the traditional dancing you did growing up. It was only when the skeleton stopped to drink tea that you remembered something he had said yesterday when the storm first hit.

“Brook?”

“Hm?” he hummed as he handed you a teacup balanced on a saucer. You smiled and took it gratefully.

“Yesterday… with the storm… you said something.”

“I did?”

“You said… that you didn’t know where you were supposed to be or what you were supposed to be doing.”

“Ah. That’s right. What about it?”

“I… what… have you… did you struggle to find how you contributed to this crew? Like you’re a strong fighter and a great singer, so obviously there was a place for you. But…” you trailed off quietly, unsure of how to phrase what you wanted to say.

“Hmmm. I did. I didn’t think I contributed enough to this crew. I kept trying to prove myself, prove that they had a reason to keep me. I got underfoot for days, trying to help but I actually made things worse” he said, chuckling at the memories. You shifted, waiting for him to continue as he sipped his tea.

“I eventually ended up confronting Luffy, and he put my mind at ease. Everyone has a role on this ship because we’re all different human beings. We all contribute something to this journey we call life, building on people’s experiences when they interact with us. You have nothing to worry about. You are valuable to this crew simply because you’re here.”

You looked down at your lap where your teacup was held, fighting back the urge to cry.

“But I…” you started quietly. Brook interrupted you.

“You care for all of us, and that is enough. You keep our ship tidy, which is a feat in itself, but you do so much more. You talk with us, sharing your experiences, opinions, and empathy. You’re even sitting with me, enjoying my music. What is music if it’s not heard? You talk with everyone about what they’re interested in, letting them ramble and you ask questions, showing that you’re genuinely interested.”

He placed a skeletal hand on your shoulder. It felt odd- pokey and too light- but comforting none the less. You looked at his eye sockets, a shy, wobbly smile breaking through. You were sure he would be smiling gently at you if he had the lips to do so.

“You have enough heart for both of us. Because I have no heart! YOHOHOHOHO!”

You rolled your eyes at the dumb skeleton joke, chuckling despite yourself.

“Can I tell you something?” you asked. Zoro told you the crew wouldn’t mind… and if you wanted to dance again, you needed his help. He cocked his head expectantly, looking at you.

“Back home… I used to be a dancer. I used to perform the traditional cultural dances, and I was damn good at it. Unfortunately, I got an injury and couldn't dance to the performing level anymore… but I’m still not half bad”

“Oh really? Please… tell me about the music that played. I’ll humbly do my very best to replicate it so you may dance again, should you wish to do so” he said, picking up his violin. You grinned excitedly before it faded a little.

“Ah. But. The one I miss the most… it get’s a bad rep” you started, nervous. You’ve seen how the skeleton can get lost in his perverted thoughts.

“A dance that gets a bad reputation? How?”

“I… It’s about… spring. Welcoming the new life back into the world. About welcoming the fertility of the season, and it eventually changed to something that was seen as provocative. Of course, perverted pirates came and spread the news about how dancers were moving incredibly seductively. But… I think it’s beautiful. It’s graceful but difficult, fluid movements with hips and arms and your back” you explained. Your remembered of the satisfaction of how your movements flowed gracefully like the streams that trickled back to life after the snow, hands drawing shapes and patterns in the air as your legs lowered you up and down smoothly, your feet carrying you in twirls as you balanced on the balls of your feet. You didn’t notice the faint smile on your lips.

“I think it sounds beautiful. If you ask me to see it as a work of art that inspires the beauty of spring, I shall abide by that request to the best of my ability” Brook said. You looked at him, pulled out of your memories.

“That means a lot. Thank you” you said quietly, smiling at him. He took a sip of his tea.

“So… tell me about the music” he said, gesturing to his instruments. You grinned, and opened your mouth in preparation to speak before the musician interrupted you.

“Ah. Excuse me” he said politely. You looked at him curiously. Your silent question was answered promptly as he farted loudly, then belched. You couldn’t help it. You burst out laughing, yelling at him in between breaths that he was disgusting and that he stinks. He joined in your laughter easily.

“Don’t encourage him!” Nami nagged, lounging near the helm. That only made you laugh harder.

That night, dinner was boisterous, but your muscles were quickly becoming more and more sore by the minute. Each knock against your thigh or arm by the rowdy bunch almost made you flinch. You felt a steady gaze on you through the meal, and you looked up multiple times to make eye contact with Zoro. You couldn’t decipher the look, and it didn’t help that his cheeks were nearly constantly puffed out with his large bites of food or deep swigs of his drink. How can he be so sexy and hot but also adorable?

Eventually, you excused yourself, having fully planned on going to your room to sleep away the pain. Apparently, someone had other plans. Not five minutes after you limped to your room and flopped face down on your bed, a loud knock rapped on the door. You groaned, and managed to roll to your back before calling out to come in. You had an idea of who it was, even through the haze of being half asleep.

“It’s me. You gonna use the bath salts tonight?” Zoro asked, leaning in the open doorway. You spared him a glance and sighed.

“Mmm. Maybe. I’m pretty tired though. Might just use them tomorrow” you muttered. He was quiet for a moment, shifting in place. You heard the clink of his swords.

“You should at least wash the muscle cream off.”

You groaned.

“I thought you said it would soak into the skin or something.”

“I never said that.”

You craned your neck, looking at him. You probably looked ridiculous in this position, but you didn’t care at the moment.

“If it won’t stain my clothing because it’s soaked in enough, why does it need to be washed off?”

“Hah? Do I look like Chopper to you? He only told me that it needs to be washed off at the end of the day, something about muscles cooling when you go to sleep”

You groaned again, relaxing your head back onto the mattress. Smart, Chopper. Getting him to take a bath every time he uses it. You chuckled tiredly as another thought popped up.

“You sure you’re just not trying to get me in the bath with you? Jealous that I took a one with Robin?”

You almost felt his posture stiffen.

“Why would I care you took a bath with Robin? Besides, it’s time I took a bath, and I pushed my body in training today. May as well draw one bath with the bath salts for the two of us at once.”

You grunted. He did have a point. It was rare enough that the man took a bath, and besides, he didn’t see you like that. You weren’t much to look at.

“Fine. But I’m not walking without more pain medicine” you conceded with a yawn. You glanced at him. He looked surprised at how easy you agreed. You scoffed, reaching for the pouches you had deposited on your bedside table earlier in the day. You tossed the one containing the salts to him before digging around to retrieve another dose of medicine from the other.

“Relax, hot shot. I won’t look if you’re shy” you teased. Your fingers uncorked the small bottle and you downed the medicine.

“I’m not shy! I wouldn’t ask you if I was shy, idiot!”

You snorted at his adamant reply.

“Shut up and follow me” he griped. You sighed, moaning as you hauled yourself out of bed. Your muscles twinged briefly before settling into a dull ache. You followed him to the bath house, passing a smirking Robin in the library. You rolled your eyes at her, dragging your tired body up the ladder. By the time you got to the undressing area, Zoro was only in his pants, his swords resting against the wall. As he undid the button and unzipped, you couldn’t help it. You wolf whistled, smirking. He snapped his head towards you, flushed. You giggled.

“Sorry. Couldn’t resist teasing you. You’re so fun to rile up” you said, turning away to undress. He grumbled under his breath, looking away. You looked away as soon as you caught a glimpse of his bare ass as he pulled the waistband down over his hips. He really was telling the truth earlier. He wasn’t wearing anything under his pants. Blushing slightly, you stripped from your outfit, underwear following closely as soon as you heard the door to the bathroom close. You took a deep breath, readying yourself for the absolutely sinful sight you knew you was about to bless your eyes. You heard the shower head running, the bath water splashing in the background. You wrapped a towel around yourself to preserve at least some modicum of modesty. Wait.

Wait. One showerhead. One. He’s using it. In there. Standing naked. Your thoughts stuttered to a halt as a blush overtook your face. You almost turned around and left right then.

“What the hell are you doing? Get in here! The bath is almost ready!” the swordsman yelled from the bathroom. You took a deep breath, clearing your mind and sending your body on autopilot. You opened the door, closing it quickly to avoid the loss of steam. That would be your saving grace in this sinful heaven you had managed to get yourself in.

“Calm your swords, Zoro. I’m here. Maybe I just wanted to give you a moment of privacy to wash your ass” you muttered. Good, good. Play it cool. Like this is completely normal. You heard him grunt, and you looked up. Your heart dropped into your stomach, and your fingers felt almost tingly. You weren’t breathing, but you didn’t care. You could die right now and be happy, feeling blessed.

He was standing with his side facing you, arms raised, showing off his biceps and forearms as he ran his hands through his water-soaked hair. Water dripped over his body, falling into crevices, and tracing the planes of his muscles. You followed a rivulet with your eye, tracing its path as it dripped from his thick fingers, down the back of his neck, over his shoulder blade, down the crevice of his spine, and curving as it met the dimples of his lower back. Your eyes trailed lower, seeing the outline of his toned ass that bled into thick, well-muscled thighs that were often hidden under his baggy pants. You ripped your eyes back to his face, one eye looking at you from the side. Water dripped from his sharp nose and ran down the side of his mouth. It dripped off his chiseled jaw to fall onto his plush pecs, following the hills of his abs, trailing down to the V that led directly to his cock. You swallowed. You couldn’t see it. It was strategically hidden behind his thick thigh and a veil of steam, but it was right there.

“Stop staring and get in the water.”

His demand snapped you out of your reverie. You focused back on his face.

“Huh?” you eloquently replied. He rolled his eyes at you.

“Get over here, idiot.”

“Right.”

You stepped forward, inhaling the steam.

“You need to take your towel off.”

“…yep.”

He snorted at your obviously flustered state. You hung your towel on the hooks on the back of the door, and turned around, placing your arms so you were still at least somewhat covered. He wasn’t looking at you, turned away and facing the wall.

“I won’t look until you say so. I remember what you said earlier... about being… ya know… about your body” he murmured quietly as you padded forward. You ripped your gaze from his ass, feeling like a perv once he said that.

“…thanks.”

He was silent, sighing into the hot water streaming from the showerhead. The two of you washed quietly, trading places as needed. Out of respect for him, you didn’t gawk at him like you did when you first came in. Though you really wanted to see what he was packing, you kept your gaze solely on his upper body. True to his word, he didn’t look at you. You guided him around the shower with pokes and prods on his biceps, leading to lighthearted bickering. Eventually, the two of you settled into the bath, fragrant from the salt Zoro had sprinkled in the water before you came in. You sighed as you felt your muscles ease and relax with the healing properties.

“Fuuuuck me this feels amazing” you moaned. You heard Zoro make a small noise, and you glanced at him. He was still looking away.

“You can look now” you said quietly. He glanced at you before looking at the water.

“I… I didn’t look at you either, you know” you muttered, looking out the window. The crescent moon was low in the sky, shining brightly through strands of thin clouds. You glanced at the man across from you, who met your gaze with a teasing raised brow.

“Yeah? Even in the beginning?”

You scowled, face flaming.

“Doesn’t count. You looked at me then too.”

He scoffed.

“Just your face”

You splashed him lightly with the water, still scowling.

“Good. Though there’s not much to look at though so… whatever I guess.”

“There’s lots to look at” he muttered, seemingly unwittingly. You cocked your head in confusion.

“Did you just call me fat?”

“What?! No! I-I-I… it’s just… you…”

Your quiet giggles quickly turned into full laughter at his frantic scrabbling. He finally stopped and glared at you, jutting his bottom lip out. Was he…?

“Awww are you pouting?”

“No!”

“You sure?”

“Yes! Now shut up so I can soak in peace!”

You giggled.

“Yes sir” you said mockingly. He tensed briefly at your reply and shifted his legs under the water. You narrowed your eyes, but dismissed it, exhaustion crashing over you again.

You must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing you knew, there was a gentle hand stroking hair from your head. You were warm, too warm. Your head was leaning against something firm but with some give. You hummed, opening your eyes. You were in the bath still. Zoro was next to you, letting your head rest on his shoulder. Unthinkingly, you snuggled into him, grabbing his arm and cuddling it to your chest. You felt him stiffen.

“You awake now?”

Your head shot up, and a wave of dizziness made you slump back down. You groaned.

“How long?”

“Not very. About twenty minutes”

You hummed, blinking a few times.

“Dizzy” you slurred sleepily.

“Let’s get you out of here then. Can I carry you? I won’t look.”

You grunted an affirmative, but still whined when your comfy headrest rose out of your reach as he shifted. You tried to tilt your head up to look at him, but that made your dizziness even worse.

“I’m going to pick you up now” he warned. You tried to raise one arm, but felt it swaying. A hand grasped it, and wrapped it around the back of a wide neck. You felt one corded arm under your shoulder blades, and the other under your knees, and he lifted you carefully out of the bath. You groaned with the movement, letting your head loll into his chest.

“Let’s get you dressed and some water.” You could feel the vibration of his voice in his chest.

“Zoro?”

“Hm?”

“You’re good.”

“I’m good?”

“Mmhmm. A good person”

“Whatever you say.”

He placed you on the small bench in the changing area, ducking back into the bathroom to grab the towels. The room spun, and you swayed in your seat. A solid hand fell onto your shoulder.

“Maybe we should see Chopper”

“Poor Chopper. Me again? Poor guy” you muttered. The filter between your brain and mouth was completely gone, erased though exhaustion and dizziness.

“Can you dry off?” A towel was shoved into your hands, and you clumsily swiped at your torso and thighs, unable to dip down to dry your calves. You tried to dry your back, but you dropped the towel.

“Good enough. I’ll help you stand so put your underwear on.”

You were raised to standing, and you were only kept on your feet by the swordsman’s grip on your shoulders. You somehow managed to put on your underwear through muscle memory, though it was clumsily done. You moaned, utterly exhausted.

“’m sorry” you mumbled.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“You’re helping me so much. I’m not giving anything in return.”

“You don’t need to give anything in return. We’re crewmates”

“I love you guys.”

Zoro snorted.

“What are you, drunk? Raise your arms.” He instructed. You ended up lightly smacking his chin clumsily with a floppy hand, but still managed the task. He wrangled your slack body into your shirt and slid your pants back on.

“Fuckin hell it’s like dealing with a child.” He muttered.

“I think you’re good with kids. It’s adorable. You should let your childish side out more, other than arguing with Sanji” you swayed as you talked, more from exhaustion than dizziness as your body cooled.

“Thanks for the advice” Zoro replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You’re welcome” you said cheerfully.

“Okay I’m going to carry you to the kitchen now.”

You nodded, moaning with a new wave of dizziness overcoming your senses with the movement.

“Strong man” you muttered as he slung you over his shoulder like a sack. He was obviously ignoring you at this point, which you were okay with. You were just so… tired.

You briefly remember someone coaxing you to drink some cold water, with some voices floating in the background, then strong arms tucking you into bed. The last thing you remember was a light kiss on the forehead, with a man whispering, “sleep well”.

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minimoefoe · 7 months

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ftwd 8.08 thoughts

the vibe here is basically 'i thought i'd hate it but actualy for the most part i stan'

- charlie shoulda been the character image for this ep, not luciana (love her tho and it's good to see her again)

- charlie surviving was something i felt was kinda unnecessary when I found out about it bc like, they got rid of so many characters in kinda meh ways but charlie had an easy death explanation right there that they coulda used but I actually love that she was brought back and only for a small amount of time tbh

like we get to see some great stuff with her - madison finding out she killed nick, troy talking to her about nick - but don't have to have her around for the rest of the season when we only have 4 eps left and an already large cast to give screen time

- I think charlie basically killing herself for the cause makes sense. like I dont feel like they had her kill herself bc they didn't know what else to do with her (tho I'm sure if she stayed alive they wouldn't have known what to do with her lmao)

- charlie defo looked too young and her hair was shit but I can forgive it for the good content

- the nick flashbacks :( I miss him

- was some drama on twt bc some ppl said kim dickens isn't the best actor and my two cents is they're kinda right sorry. she's not bad all the time but she's rarely absolutely incredible. she's probs the weakest actor of all our main characters and has been since the early days. I will say tho that the sometimes the meh dialogue doesn't do her any favours

- daniel saying how he's gonna strangle troy with his bare hands... ily king but plz don't do that 😭

- I love that charlie and luciana are basically daniel's daughters, love them all a lot

- already knew about nick's ashes from leaks and it was another thing I was a bit ??? about bc I felt like they were doing that for the sake of having a bunch of references in the final eps but I think they explained why they have his remains pretty well actually and it being part of why madison didn't stay pissed at charlie was good

- troy going around chopping off walker arms to make madison think she's seeing alicia everywhere is so 😭 like first of all I'm a genius bc I called it and second of all I said in that post that I thought it would be a bit silly but it kinda works actually. I hope the reason he's doing that is bc he lied about killing her (tho I can defo see him cutting arms even if he has actually killed her)

- the tracy stuff was the stuff I was most iffy on bc the idea of troy having a daughter and a significant other is crazy to me and I do still feel that way a little but I also loved the scenes about it a lot so.. I'm optimistic.

- something about seeing troy be genuinely worried about someone is great. I loved madison and troy both being out there while he was running around worried for his kid idk like something about him kinda dropping that 'I'm tough and in charge' thing for a moment while he was worried about tracy and while madison was literally right there with him is the shit I'm SO in this for like AHHH. need more of it

- troy's daughter being called tracy is still dumb as fuck and I don't think they're gonna be able to give an explanation for her being called that that makes it less dumb. (like even troy being the kid's adoptive dad and not biological dad and the kid was already born before he met the kid's mother would still be a stupid explanation bc what are the odds)

- I know troy said that tracy's mum is the woman who saved him but I really hope there's more to it than 'troy was saved by a woman, they fell in love and had a kid and then madison killed the mum at some point' like.. the madison killing the mum part is really interesting and I'm excited to know more (my initial thought a while ago was that she killed the mum when her and tracy were out somewhere and took tracy to padre but clearly tracy isn't with padre so now idk) but the other stuff feels very fanfic-y and not in a good way idkkkk

so far everything I thought I'd be meh has actually been pretty good so it's very possible if that IS what's happened I'll still like it a lot but I want there to be more to it than that i think

- I feel like I'm at such a weird point right now where I loved the tracy stuff we got in this ep and I'm very intrigued by who the mum and is and what happened to her but at the same time I'm like troy having a wife(?) and kid still doesn't fully track in my mind so I keep going back and forth on how I feel avout it 😭 I basically just can't wrap my mind around him being a shagger sorry idk how else to say that

actually seeing it play out will probs warm me up to it a lot more bc that's what's been happening so far. I think the main reason I still find it odd is just that it's hard to take the 12yr time gap into consideration like he's not s3 troy anymore yknow A LOT has happened since then and he's obviously older and has experienced shit (that I would kill for a ton more information on)

- looking forward to the next ep but currently it's screaming that troy won't be in it much/at all which is Sad but if that is the case I'd rather get that out the way sooner than later

#ftwd spoilers #twd txt #troy otto #ftwdfw

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fleshdyke · 23 hours

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its honestly starting to feel like im never going to get hired. the job market in ontario is absolutely abysmal already and it's just extra bad in my area bc i live in the depths of the suburbs and there's exactly one place (a tims) within 3 kilometres of here that will hire random teenagers (so not family owned/specific required experience). and most of my neighborhood is around 14-20 years old so obviously all the kids of families who moved here when they were young/not yet born are looking for jobs and there is ONE tims for every single teenager in the neighborhood to apply to. there's only 3 more places within 6 km, and obviously no one wants to walk six fucking kilometres to work bc most of us can't drive and none of us have our own cars, everyone's parents are working, and no one has any way to get to work anywhere other than that one tims. and all the teenagers have school to go to so we're not available for the week, my school bus doesn't get me home until an hour after school ends and unless i get a job at that one tims i need at least an hour to walk to work, and no one wants to hire someone whose working hours are 5-11 and weekends. and the worst fucking part is that for a teenager im crazy overqualified and no one wants to fucking hire me. i have nearly 5 years of continuous volunteer experience (WORKING WITH THE PUBLIC), did a paper route for like four years, have several clubs and extracurriculars on my resume, and ive gotten two interviews. TWO. and one of them was only because my brother's girlfriend already works there (but that didn't even get me the job). like any minimum wage job that's hiring teenagers should be goint CRAZY trying to hire me bc what 17 year old has 5 years of volunteer experience???? and i get NOTHING. and like idk how to say this without sounding mean or whatever which is not what im trying to do at all but like half the ppl in my classes who have jobs i know for a fact dont have any experience in anything and are shitty workers and yet they get hired at exactly the same places i apply to!!! when im objectively a way more desirable employee!!! like im not saying i deserve the job more than them or anything but like i just genuinely do not understand why i'm not being hired. i was always told my whole life that extracurriculars and volunteering would look great on a resume and make everyone want to hire me but it's not fucking true. and i'm exhausting every option available to me. like genuinely i don't know if i'm EVER going to get a job at this rate. i dont really have a point here im just rambling but things are looking absolutely fucking bleak for teenagers rn.

#rambles #vent

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saintforan · 19 days

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I’m genuinely curious what the other critters roles are in the holders au (especially who the Chloe or Lila might be).

alr this ones simple, imma list all of the (rest of the) critters and give them a role based in both in the og MLB series and the Holders AU

just to make it clear, all of the relatioships im talking about here take place before catnap joins the same hs as dogday, eventually they all (Except bubba) become friends between them

Craftycorn: Along with dogday shes an exchange student as well, but attends to a different HS, she's dogdays roomate and both get along very well, eventually from living together they become good friends. Crafty's role on this au would be Alya's on MLB, but without the ladyblog lol, on this universe crafty like alya is interested in the heroes that suddenly popped out of nowhere, and starts investigating about them out of curiosity, eventually she gets very invested in them and starts taking part of a magazine to talk about them both. She's gonna be the first to find out their identities too, she eventually connects the dots and guesses, but doesn't tell anyone

Kickin: He's childhood friends with dogday, but here they met online before dogday decided to move and study on the same country as him, They don't belong to the same HS neither, he goes to the same one as crafty and they become friends there. His role here would be Nino's on MLB, as he would become very close to catnap eventually (catnap got his second best friend yippeee), and also would end up dating crafty lol (kickincorn enthusiast)

Bobby: Bobby is childhood friends with hoppy, and she takes on luka's role on MLB as the good listener and good advice giver to dogday (no romance between them here) Her and Dogday don't exactly have a band, but them both enjoy playing music together (dd plays guitar, bobby plays bass and guitar too + she likes to sing) which made them close. They met bc of Kickin as him, bobby and hoppy were in the same elementary school and kept being good friends ever since.

Hoppy: Childhood friends with Bobby, doesnt take on any particular character's role, she was on a volleyball club with kickin on elementary school and they met there, she also works at the same bakery as dogday mostly to help piggy's family out and get paid for hanging out with friends LOL

(as a psa, theres feelings between the bear and the rabbit, they are GAY, but their relationship develops later on)

Piggy: You could say she in some way takes marinette's role here? but this marinette would not be ladybug here LOL, i stated before that dogday works part-time on a bakery, well piggy is the daughter of said bakery's owner, and she also attends the same hs as dogday and catnap, she became friends with dogday from him working there and going to the same hs as him, shes also best friends with bobby and hoppy and hang out tgt often as a trio

Bubba: This man takes on both lila and kagami's role here, but both would be against caatnap here. As i said before, prototypes an engeneer who owns a company, said company has a partnership with another one, and this company ceo's has a son, Bubba is that ceo's son, so he and catnap had met on multiple ocasions but dont get along that well (they hate each other's guts), as bubba's mindset is like prototype's and catnap is not that fond of his father lmao. When catnap gets sent to socialize, prototype asks his ceo pal to send his son and watch him so he doesn't slip away from his duties. His job is basically to keep catnap from getting away from his father lol, and so he makes his life difficult to achieve that.

the closest thing to a chloe here would be bubba? but they behave very differently so he reminds me more of lila, so i could say theres no chloe here at all, personally chloe's character is very non important to the series, her only role is to be the mean girl and maybe help akumatize some ppl, but overall the only good part about her was her redemption lol, but then they threw that away soo, nothing much to say abt her, i don't find having a Chloe here necessary at all

#Holders au

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angelthingy · 3 months

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hiii so queer discourse post ahead!! im sorry if i say anything wrong please correct me if i do!! also pls read to the end if you would like to comment because its very much a "stream of thought" kinda post so i go through a few opinions before settling on anything-

saw an argument under a poll recently about how detransitioners who hadnt gone through any sort of medical transition shouldnt be allowed to call themselves trans if they had reverted to a gender that matches with their assigned sex and. honestly i feel like this is one of those admittedly rare moments where i dont really know what opinion to take? i mean i do believe that a detransitioners experience is unique so its entirely reasonable for them to identity more with a trans experience but- relating to what the argument was about- should someone born a woman be able to call themselves a trans woman if they had briefly thought they were trans then. changed their mind before having taken any steps to transition? i really really really!!! dont want to gatekeep identities, its just as people pointed out, being TOO accepting can just open up a loophope for ppl with umm. other intentions, such as chasers - which is, not that great? im just bringing this up because admittedly part of me is worried about both of these positions- one seems really gatekeepy but could also be helpful in allowing trans ppl to have a term to describe specifically themselves; while the other kind of means that the uniqueness of a trans experience is taken away if ppl can say they're trans without having ever transitioned or facing any of the experiences of trans people (dont wanna say issues because defining trans ppl by the issues they face isnt that helpful, though yes obviously those as well)

after having written this out i partially think i may have been influenced by conformity tbh (whoaa psychology reference) because like. the VAST!!! majority of the notes in that poll was that they shouldnt call themselves trans but while im here typing this out im finding myself disagreeing with that position more than not- like ultimately i feel like people should be able to use whatever labels they think fits for them as long as its genuine to their feelings at that moment, and in the cases where they're using them harmfully/disingenuously then thats like. the exception and not the rule- right?

anyway i just wanted to talk about this because talking about things helps me articulate my thoughts!! i guess i did actually end up coming to a conclusion with what i believe in the end so it worked, yippee! but if anyone wants to discuss this please feel free because i am interested in other opinions, especially those which come from experience :D

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golbrocklovely · 6 months

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finally, after so long, here is my review of the conjuring series/hell week.

this is EXTREMELY LONG so strap in, grab a drink, and a snack. or, feel free to skip to the end to read my overall thoughts lol

like previous hell weeks, i'm gonna rate each episode and then answer whether or not i would rewatch the episode.

lmk what you guys thought !

episode one:

the obvious meat and potatoes of this whole video was satori and cody's method, which i'm just gonna refer to as The Method just bc it's easier to say then writing out their names over and over again lol

i'll be honest with you, i'm super glad that snc did their best to debunk the tapping and whatnot. i honestly think that if they hadn't tried, a lot of ppl wouldn't believe them at all or would think that either they're lying, or satori and cody are.

as for the answers that satori and cody gave… it's hard. bc on one hand i truly do believe in psychics and mediums. i myself have experienced readings or things i have done on my own. i have had a lot of things happen to me that just logically don't make sense. i do believe there are ppl that have the ability to talk to the dead. but part of me is weary of satori and cody. idk know them from a hole in the wall. they could have easily researched snc, and their past relatives, and just bullshitted the rest. same thing with their producer. it's not hard to look up someone's ancestry. i would like to believe that isn't the case, but you can't be too sure.

the debunking that snc tried did make a strong case for The Method, especially doing it in random locations that they didn't know about. but again… idk. part of me just felt like i was side-eying the whole time. and look, i want to believe that they have good intentions and they are genuinely contacting something. but again, ppl lie for far less.

but no matter if they were lying or not, i 100% believe snc's reaction to it. it was real for them, and that's all that really matters to me tbh.

i felt really bad for sam, or i guess happy for him but sad that he was crying so much. my theory with him has always been that even tho he has experienced attachments and heard things, seen things, all that jazz - i truly think for the longest time he never fully believed. i think he would rather chalk up a paranormal experience as a group psychosis before saying a place was haunted. but since that probably wouldn't bode well for either of them, he just agreed that what they experienced was "crazy" and moved on like nothing happened. also, i have this general feeling that he doesn't believe his own experiences, which is why he questions ppl like colby when he goes thru something, but i haven't really fleshed out why that could be the case. but i think this was his "come to jesus" moment, so to speak. i mean, he explained it himself that he honestly didn't think there was anything after this life. that once you died, you're gone. so this was both great and terrifying news to hear. not to mention, to hear it from your dead grandmother was definitely surprising for sure. i honestly hope this brought him some closure or comfort. bc i know i always felt really sad growing up that my grandparents, literally all of them, never got to see me graduate high school or college or perform on stage. but i always had a feeling that they watched me do all of that so it's nice to hear that for someone else, that was the case.

granted, The Method could just be bullshit to conjure up an emotional response for views and notoriety… but for now, i'm gonna just take it at face value. sure, it's real. i think what also makes me lean towards that is that cody and satori don't charge ppl for this. it only happens at the conjuring for the most part, so…. unless they start becoming a side-show circus act with a big ticket price, i'm just gonna take them at their word. plus, the random locations snc took them to, unless the boys are in on it (which opens up too many cans of worms), The Method wouldn't have been able to work in these spots or actually have satori and cody come up with real ppl that died there.

i will say tho, it was kinda funny that sam's having this emotional breakdown over hearing his grandmom telling him she's watching over him and his siblings, and then colby's getting his great grandfather coming thru to tell him to tell his parents that he's there lol like…. thanks dude i never met. appreciate the love and support.

overall this episode was fine. it wasn't my favorite of the series, but it wasn't a bad way to start the series. this episode did draw me in enough to want to see the rest, but i was also a little weary of what was to come.

(oh yeah i forgot to add that the new owner… something feels deeply off about her. like i can't put my finger on it, but if it comes out years down the line that she was bringing demons into the house or something, i will not be surprised lol)

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: yeah i guess, but not fully

~~~~~~~~

episode two:

so going into this episode, i was a bit… not excited, since i knew amanda was going to be in the video. i've always had my reservations with her. mostly, i think she has abilities, i just think she talks them up to be something that they aren't. plus she has made some comments in past videos that just make me look at her sideways bc they don't make a lick of fucking sense (ie queen mary, she talked to a ghost that said he had lived other lives before this one, he was just stuck in this one for some reason, and she literally told snc she didn't believe that bc "reincarnation isn't in the bible" …..BRO, you talk to the dead. maybe not everything in a 2000+ year old book that's been translated 150+ times is gonna be accurate. also again, need i remind you, YOU TALK TO DEAD PPL). as for how i felt about her during this episode, she was fine, i guess. the only time she annoyed me was during the estes method where her and sam were just bouncing off one another in the worse way lol but i'll get more into that later.

i think it was really interesting that they interviewed andrea perron. they need to do that more often: find ppl that used to live in these places that they visit and get their story, instead of just listening to tour guides who amp up the scares just bc they need to. i thought her interview was really intriguing and i can only imagine how horrible it must have been to live in that house all the way back then. and to see your mother get thrown across the room?? idk what i would even do as a kid in that moment.

so the first part of the investigation was with amanda, snc, and cody and satori. (side note, i love that the touch toy for the ghost kids is a basset hound). i think this whole first part was kinda funny only bc in my most cynical mind, it's three fake mediums trying to one up each other the whole time lol

i don't fully believe that, but that's what my mind kept going back to.

i do find it odd that amanda couldn't see her past relatives but The Method was able to allow them to talk. idk, if i could see dead ppl, i think i would be a bit pissed if my loved ones were like "nah, i know you got the vision but i ain't showing myself in front of you". it also doesn't really help her case of what her abilities are or how strong they are if she can't even see ppl she actually once knew.

i also find it odd that all loved ones are apparently able to get across is "watching over __" bc both snc and now amanda got that message. again, to me, this just reads as like someone in this scenario is faking something. idk what, but i just remember laughing at this whole part bc it just felt funny to watch each one try to one up the other and then snc are just like :O the whole time.

and what made this top tier comedy to me was sam asking who wrote amanda's name, and them saying it was a spirit. i'm so sorry…. but you gotta be on fucking CRACK to think that happened. i believe in ghost, the paranormal, the whole enchilada………. but a ghost soldier wrote amanda's name in the sand???? no. sorry. that didn't happened. and you cannot tell me it did lmao

honestly in situations like this, i'm more incline to believe equipment than these, respectfully, quack jobs.

i thought it was sweet that colby kept being really nice to abigail and calling her the matriarch of the house. isn't he just a sweet boy lol

the second half of the day 2 was where i got more interested and into the video. the rempod going off constantly, the camera immediately dying, that little cabinet door opening, all of that in like five minutes is crazy. and then the estes method, while interesting, was also deeply annoying since sam and amanda decided to tag team and do the one thing i hate that they try to do during the estes method - connect everything while the words are still coming out. like CALM DOWN. connect later. it was freaky to see the rempod going off in time with their estes method tho.

the woods session was kinda cool. idk how i feel about the alice box yet. why does it only say some words but the others are just on the little text box? whatever i guess. gonna be honest, woods don't really scare me for paranormal reasons. i'm more inclined to believe i'm gonna get my ass eaten by a bear or stabbed by a human so it wasn't really all that creepy, but it was cool to see this half. and then to have snc sleep in the woods… props. but to be in the woods in august in hoodies was a choice i wouldn't make, personally.

day three josh and seth came and thank GOD there were ppl in this series/episode i actually liked that joined them. their half made the video a lot better. so they start off by doing the ritual, which honestly just felt more like (literally) dancing on someone's grave so…. idk about that one. a bit disrespectful if you ask me. colby literally did the ice spice on her grave… boy i would haunt your ass for eternity for that one lmao

hearing andrea perron speak of that fateful night of her mother being possessed, again, my heart breaks for her. whether you believe in the paranormal or not, something traumatic happened to her and her family. and i just feel for her.

so when they moved on into the investigation, i just gotta say, if they plan to use the spirit box, they NEED to invest in a microphone or a better speaker for that thing bc good god i couldn't hear a single thing that was coming thru. but moving past the spirit box, the door to the library just opening on it's own?? and the camera moving slightly?? that's nuts. bc it's one thing for a draft to open a door. you're talking about the middle of august tho. there's not gonna be strong winds (for the most part) during that time of the year unless it's storming. so if a draft blew the door open, it had to have been a HUGE one to literally push a rock out of the way. and it can't be ac bc then that door would be constantly opening.

when they separated, i get why they did, but like… why do you have to do it in the dark? i would be turning on flashlights or some form of light immediately. you're not about to catching me busting my ass on the stairs of a 300+ year old house lol

josh's sleeve moving was actually kinda freaky, ngl. i know it was very subtle, and technically could have just him moving his arm and then feeling the sleeve pull or relax or whatever, but to me… it looked like something pulled it.

then when snc went in alone, i find it funny to think of a spirit just running up and down the stairs, fucking with the rempod or the motion sensor, just to see them freak out. when sam invited whatever it was up to them, and then it got near the motion thing, and colby noped out of there and literally yelled at sam like "why did you invite it up here with us?!" ngl - favorite part of the whole video. also it was kinda cute that snc tried to do The Method on their own. kinda wish it would have worked for them.

colby doing the whole "imagine being andrea perron" speech he gave…. colby, can you not? also, are you good? lol

okay, so my overall thoughts on this episode - dragged in the beginning, but got good half way thru. they also got some really good evidence outside of The Method, which i would rather they not use every episode (but end up doing regardless).

rating: 3.5/5

would i rewatch: sure, but only the second half

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episode three

so the previous episode left off with sam going into the basement late at night, almost looking possessed or something. and while i obviously didn't think that, i did want to know why he would go down there alone for some reason.

but that's for a later point in this review. let's get to the collab they did.

larray and bella…….. omg, i'll just be completely honest: i hated this collab. like genuinely, it takes a lot for me to find ppl insufferable, but larray took the cake this time. bella was fine, she seemed nice and did her best. and i love that me and @xplrvibes literally said "oh i bet they're gonna try to say bella is an empath bc she's a girl bc they do that all the time" and WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE IT 11 minutes in they asked if she was one. i'm just glad she said no lol but back to larray……. first off, that shirt was a choice. and i'll leave it at that. but secondly, i'm okay with ppl joking is scary situations. i'm okay with them having guests that hear them say something insane and then immediately go "yeah fuck no to that, i'm leaving" or some iteration of that joke. but, larray took it too far. i don't think he said anything else other than "i don't want to be here" ect. and i get he was scared, but GOD, SHUT UP. like i got it the first five times you said it, i don't need to hear it the next 24. it literally took for him to get a message from the beyond to get him to be quiet.

i'll be honest, i don't even want to review this half of the video bc it was SUCH a drag. i remember i wasn't even half way thru and i was like… oh you're joking, we're not done yet? bc that's how annoying that whole section was. it wasn't solely larray, but he definitely exacerbated the problem.

the ring of lights that ppl can cross over, idk about that. it feels like it's fake but whatever. bella having a separate phone just for content… i love that for her lol them going into the basement is cut short only for the fact that we KNOW sam went down there first and colby was none the wiser until like two days later. The Method being done for bella and larray was cool i guess. but then sam getting an extremely private message that he couldn't share, i get that. and i hope that whatever message he got was something he needed to hear (but the way he mouthed "oh no" makes me think otherwise). my only issue is why even use any of the footage from that then? i know it's a bit nitpicky, so i'm not gonna press on it too much.

to the fans on tiktok that were saying "omg what if the message was from corey la barrie"….. please seek professional help. this isn't a fanfic. stop thinking like it is. bc i saw MULTIPLE tiktoks saying that.

but continuing on with The Method, i'll be honest with you: i'm not sure what the afterlife is like or what it entails. but it is hard for me to just blindly accept that it's all good and light and love and whatever random other words satori and cody wanted to throw in there that abigail said. i know it's my cynical mind, but hearing shit like that just makes me roll my eyes. like i know that sounds dark and sad, but that whole thing just made me go like "okay… sure."

maybe it's bc it's too generic. like that's what every form of media has said about the other side for forever. if i was able to get my point across and reach a ton of ppl, i would be sending messages like "god is woman and she sucks at beer pong" or "ice cream is free up here but only on tuesdays" or "guess what? i'm hanging out with EVERYONE'S dogs" not just love and light. boooorrrrriiiinnngggg lol

but i will note something that i thought was interesting only bc i've always had a similar thought process: cody says he doesn't know why they're able to do what they do. he believes it might have had something to do with his cancer complications and dying once. and the reason why i can believe that is i've always had this belief - so, as someone who has attempted to end my own life twice, i've come very close to death. and i think ppl that knock on death's door, you can't just unknock. you can't ding dong ditch death. so i kinda feel like those that get very close to the other side cross a line that can't be uncrossed, so to speak. which i think is also why i had the most paranormal experiences when i was going through some dark times (or had just gone thru them).

what i find peculiar is how the narrative of the basement has changed. before it was dark and demented, something evil lurking around each corner, colby having a full blown panic attack down there. all that, right? but now it's "oh it's just a trickster spirit that likes to cause havoc and is for the most part harmless. and also really would rather you be in the woods." and yet even with that knowledge in mind, everyone was still too freaked out. like if they kept getting cryptic and weird messages i would just be like "find a different trick. you don't scare me" or eventually just leave the basement altogether if nothing was going to be happening besides "come to the woods" over and over again.

but bc snc never listen, they went to woods. and again… woods to me aren't scary for paranormal reasons. more so for bears or humans. but they did get some cool evidence at the graveyard.

i'm just gonna skip that whole thing and get to the part that i want, no - NEED, to talk about which is…. colby standing up for himself when sam told him about the basement.

i was genuinely confused as to why snc weren't mentioning sam going into the basement. like i figured, sam went down there, something happened, and then he told colby. or something to that effect. but to find out that a) he had no real plans of posting this into the vid and b) he waited like two days to finally tell colby it happened…. that's really fucked, ngl. the absolute hurt that was on colby's face is so evident, no wonder sam started backpedaling (but just made it all the more worse). like colby has made it abundantly clear time and time again that he doesn't like being left in the dark about where someone is going/doesn't like being left behind and sam did exactly that. not only that, but he then did something that both him and colby swore they would do together - go to the basement. everyone was waiting to see them go together and experience whatever's down there, but sam took that for himself - like colby said. and then sam tried to justify it with "oh nothing really happened, plus we don't have to show fans, plus i really needed to do it bc everything has been so crazy" and it's like………. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU???? it's colby. while colby might have had some form of belief system before all of this, this whole situation has been insane to him as well. so you don't get to use that as an excuse. and then to say that fans don't need to see this footage, that just feels wrong. bc at the end of the day, the person sam hurt was colby. and regardless of whether or not we would have known about it, colby still would have known. and that's the part that sucks. sam was extremely self-centered for making this decision and then thinking colby would just let it slide.

and i know some of you are gonna probably be up my ass about this opinion since god forbid i give criticism towards sam. but i would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed, especially if sam was upset about it. and god knows there wouldn't have been an argument about including those clips in a video, but i digress. i just think it was messed up of sam to do to that to colby. and i hope bts he apologized profusely.

but to be a bit more light hearted about it… colby looks really hot when he's angry or annoyed. so that's nice, i guess lol it's the clenched jaw and the narrowed eyes, in case you didn't know why you found it hot either. also, he was too calm, and that's hot AND scary lol

i think it's funny to think that if they didn't include sam going there by himself and then this confrontation, we would never know why in the next part colby seemed annoyed/angry and ppl probably would have just blamed the spirits or some shit.

which also did happen…

but to bring it back for a second, you know what the scariest part of this video was for me? the tick on colby's leg. GROSS. disgusting. i would have screamed so loud i'd wake the dead lmao

but anyway the estes methods they did in the basement were very revealing and honestly the best part of the episode imo. them realizing, or believing, that dave is actually the trickster spirit and not some soldier following them around was actually really cool to see unravel. and surprisingly this time around sam jumping to conclusion over and over again paid off well. and then when colby was asking the questions, it was interesting to see his reaction to what was being said. him being annoyed at sam before hand really elevated the estes method, funny enough.

maybe it's bc i don't know about trickster spirits and what they are meant to do or whatever, but if i know the spirit i'm talking to is fucking with me, i'm just not gonna talk to it anymore. i'm not gonna give it what it wants, which is to see me scared. and i think snc, without knowing it, were feeding into what dave wanted.

their equipment malfunctioning over and over again was crazy, ngl. but the actual scariest part of the whole vid was who the FUCK was that behind them in the basement coming up the steps??? fuck The Method, now THAT is proof of the other side existing, especially if snc were alone in that house at that point (which assumingly they were).

so this episode was a bit of rollercoaster for me. some parts were just plan bad to me. like i wouldn't even consider rewatching the first half again tbh. it was tedious to do it just to make this review, so that alone deducts this episode a bunch. but the second half, basically everything after The Method where larray and bella's loved ones talked to them, was pretty decent/better. and of course, once snc were alone, the video was at its best. i truly wish snc would just realize that they do so much better and get such better results without other ppl. just the two of them is enough. i truly wanted to like this episode, and i did to some extent, but no offense to larray, his over reactions just soured most of the video for me. he seems like a nice guy, and i didn't mind him the first time around when snc collabed with him, but god… just shut up next time lol

rating: 2.9/5

would i rewatch: only the tail end, tbh…. so no i guess lol

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episode four

i'll be honest with yall, i was mixed about how this final episode was gonna play out. part of me was excited to see it, another part of me was like… eh, don't care. but i will say, i was pleasantly surprised with this one. i guess in a weird way it was my favorite of all the episodes, but that's not saying much since none were really my favorite anyway.

niki and george were fantastic. honestly no notes. they didn't talk the entire fucking time, they weren't overly negative, they kept in line with snc's humor and or seriousness. i loved it truly. 10/10.

i completely forgot that kris called them to tell them about a dream she had. her and niki, and celina too… all having dreams about snc. what are they, fans??

i'm joking btw.

i think the dream element can be a bit questionable, but i do also think it's kinda creepy too. even if for argument's sake it's not real and/or is propped up to be something more serious than it is.

the foil house/tent thing they built was…. confusing. but i'm down for them to start using different methods, especially if they end up working or are interesting. they split up and neither really got anything that compelling, but when they played the picture game it was creepy that only colby's pics got fucked with a bit. it's always colby lol

but i gotta ask, didn't they break the first rule of the game which is nothing is supposed to cross over the circle in the middle? bc sam did that by putting the water cup down in it. also, i highly doubt that snc trashed that camera. highkey it's probably in their office rn.

the duel estes method, in theory, is a cool idea. but the execution wasn't really good enough. like sure, they got some answers, i guess. but half of the words were just random. and tying niki and colby together was kinda pointless. snc just love exploring their kinks on camera huh skskks jk

so, i think what was a bit confusing about sam freaking out (before) going into the basement is that did you really think colby wasn't gonna send you down there at some point? he has made a big stink about it since it happened to him. of course sam had to have known this was gonna happen. not to mention, sam's fucking challenge for colby would have literally caused him to get lost in the woods…. so i would say sam got the nicer of the two options.

as for what transpired in the basement, clearly sam was absolutely losing it. whether it was paranormal or not, he was scared out of his fucking mind. and i get it must have been creepy as hell down there. and god knows he lasted longer than i would have. but there is no reason he has to push himself that far to believe there is something more. like is it really worth being permanently scarred just to know if something is down there? not to mention, but whatever is down there, feeds off of havoc and scared energy. and you basically fell into its trap. like, i'm not blaming sam for freaking out. god knows i would be way worse in that situation. but i also wouldn't have been the dumbass who leaves my phone upstairs and has no extra back up light.

also colby is too forgiving bc i would been like "since you love the basement so much, here you go :)" lmaooo

(sidenote, why is colby walking around in only his socks???? ewwwww. do that in your own home, not the conjuring my guy. and another sidenote, does sam's face look swollen in the basement, or is that just the camera being hella zoomed in? idk why he just looks different)

colby giving a whole disclaimer or explanation about why he could leave sam in the basement…. i blame the fandom bc there is no reason for him to being doing all that. sam was literally gonna have him walk alone to the fucking graveyard. sam is fine in the basement. he can leave whenever he wants to. colby ain't a bad guy for giving him a challenge like that.

the walkie dying is so eerily spooky to the og alone conjuring video it's kinda crazy. but, maybe there is just bad reception lol

moving onto the final stretch of the video, the tarot reading. i know snc kinda showed more of the original reading on xplrclub, but if they truly think her first reading was super accurate, i really hope this reading is also just as accurate. snc deserve a lot more positive than negative these next couple months. so i hope that happens for them.

(might have to do a tarot reading on them myself just for funsies)

The Method's last messages… again, idk. imma just say this, to quote beetlejuice the musical "positivity is luxury that few can afford" and i'll just leave me beliefs at that.

i'll be completely honest with yall, idk what the priestess did with snc. the whole thing, the ouija board and exorcism/cleansing was intriguing, don't get me wrong, but idk what the fuck was happening. i kinda just watched it and accepted it at face value bc again, idk anything. it probably would have been for the best if snc explained it a bit better or did something to let us know what was up. i don't really believe everything that the priestess believes, but i do find her interesting enough that i hope she comes back eventually. god knows snc are gonna need another cleansing at some point.

colby going into the woods blindfolded…. is he trying to literally fall off of a bridge? what is with yall using blindfolds and ties? enough of the kinky shit, already.

but as for what happened out there, i think it was an interesting end to the final investigation. i could sort of hear something running up on colby, and i can only imagine how that would have felt in the moment. and who knows what it could have been? my bet is it was an animal, but i also feel like if it was one, it would have kept chasing him. but who knows. i'm just glad he didn't get hurt.

overall, i would say this was my favorite episode. i think it had a lot more high moments than lows, and that alone makes it the best. the collabs were good in this one, they got really cool evidence, and it was just a great way to wrap up this series.

rating: 4/5

would i rewatch: yeah :)

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now, onto my thoughts on this whole thing:

so going into this series, i wasn't too excited, as i had mentioned before. i felt as if snc should have taken this year off and came back during hell week if that was something they direly wanted to do. bc a lot of the content that came out this year was just… not good. it wasn't on par with what their calibar is. but i think this series was probably the best thing that came out this year by them. a lot of cool and interesting things happened in this series, and clearly snc's hearts were fully invested in this. there was passion in this series, and that's what a lot of their other videos this year have lacked, imo.

as for The Method and it changing the world….. i love snc, clearly. i deeply care for them. but they truly need to have someone in their camp that's gonna tell them reality. i mean, just as i'm writing this, there are tons of ppl on tiktok and youtube trying to disprove and nitpick apart the series and in particular The Method. but here's how i feel about that: satori and cody could be lying, that's true. they could be faking it somehow. but i don't think that's the takeaway from this series. i've seen how many ppl this brought closure to, how many ppl feel better now knowing there is something else after this life. and that in itself is worth it, even if it's not real. this series wasn't gonna change my mind bc i myself already believed in the paranormal and already believed that there is something more out there. i don't need two random ppl to prove to me i'm right. i already believe that on my own. and in that regard, i know that this series isn't for me. it's for those that needed to hear those words, that needed the confirmation. and for those ppl, i'm happy this gave you that. honest to god. just bc i didn't get that out of this doesn't mean i look down on those that did. if this helped you in any way, that's fantastic and i'm glad. i'm not here to argue whether or not The Method is a lie. idc tbh. snc believe it, and i believe them.

and if it comes out that satori and cody lied, fuck them. but until otherwise proven, i'll believe what they're selling. i'm just… not gonna buy any myself.

but even taking them out of the conjuring equation, snc caught some crazy shit there. of course, a lot of it was amplified by The Method, but i think what they did outside of that was more interesting and compelling than The Method. what i think will be more important is what they now do with the information they know. how are they gonna move forward now knowing what they know? what are they gonna impliment now that they didn't think to use before the conjuring? that's what matters to me.

idk if i got an ask that said this or not (i would have to double check but if i did - hi anon, here's your answer), but i know ppl are asking how snc are gonna top themselves this next year for hell week. personally, i don't think they have to. i think they should go back to what hell week looks like usually: a bunch of different places with different guests, but now more amplified. maybe, crazy concept, do more solo investigations. how about during next year's hell week you just… go alone to all seven places? maybe stop by the conjuring another time? you already proved (for the most part) that there is an afterlife and more beyond this life, why not go back thru your greatest hits with fresh eyes? that's what will make a difference in the content and take it to the next level without you literally contacting a demon or something.

i was pleasantly surprised by this series, and i'm more excited now to see what they do next than i was before, so… mission accomplish lol

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #personal #hell week #text

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